#i think tumblr loves rats as much as me
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People I was getting nostalgic and remembered my ol' pal
This is Rod Susu (you can not laugh of his name... it sounds better in spanish I swear)
He passed away two years ago and last year I made this in his memory.
He was a black rat, he loved to eat chicken and palta/avocado/aguacate. He loved to sleep on my hoodie. He had a bump on his tail cause he was crazy and always getting in trouble.
It was one of the best things that happened to me. And looking at pictures of him, I can still smell him XD
He had a dog brother and a cat sister, and even though his brother always tried to eat him, he still loved him. And her sisters didn't give a fuck.
Estaba loco, era un consentido, un pesado y un revoltoso, me mordia pero más mordia a mi hermana xd
No he conocido una rata igual a esta. Y siempre lo amare por eso.
... Oh y tenia los medios huevos XD
#my art#ratposting#rat art#ratblr#i think tumblr loves rats as much as me#XD#this are all tags that actually exists#so yeah#Im not emotional#Im mean I am a little#but believe me#that rat lived like a king#he died in my hands#and i knew he was loved#i will always remembered him happy#he was one of the most craziest and excited animal I ever met#this drawing is old#but actually i really like it
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some doodles! (PHIGHTING!)
A collection of recent subspace and Medkit doodles! The final thing is actually a remake of a really silly meme I made like. God how long back in August of 2023? Geez I’ve been in the fandom for awhile,,, it’s crazy how my art has evolved since then for real!
also… these, no, no I am not giving ANY sort of explanation for them
#artists on tumblr#phighting!#phighting#phighting fanart#digital art#roblox phighting#phighting roblox#art#phighting art#roblox#I can’t think of any tailor swift songs to quote sorry#This is the second most cursed thing I’ve drawn of subspace and Medkit#Second too mederica and Britianspace….#I am a horrible person /silly#ANYWAYS OFF OF THAT TOPIC#THE RATS!!#I hate both of them so much /aff#Jeraboaspace my beloved… ouuuugh#And predisastor I love predisaster a lot#“Please stick your hands into the bars of my enclosure!! I swear that I won’t bite!!” - cutiespace. Probably#Anyways I’m going back into the gutters#Artfight is soon so don’t expect any other unique content from me lol#I have like 90+ characters bookmarked so yeah that’s ALLLLL yall are going it be seeing for artfight season#I’m gonna resume working on TMA designs AFTER artfight#I wasn’t expecting them to take this long but I mean there’s a lot of characters I still have to design and then a lot of characters I’m#Going to have to individually render and color#So YEAH#That au is definitely going to take a long time- but worry not since I’m still SUPERRRRR hyper fixated on TMA#So I have not forgotten about it!#Now for actual tags…
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only recently i realized peter's death is shown in the golden scrotum ending which has a fucking little farfour in jack's night stand at the end which is So. silly...
#luly talks#IM STILL NOT OVER THE RAT BROTHER#I LOVE THAT STUPID ANIMATRONIC MY BABYGIRL DYING ON IT ADDS SO MUCH TO IT TOO#realistically im only thinking of him bc i saw amaizing fanart on twitter and it made me insane#i love that art go to my twitter i dont think op is here on tumblr#i hadnt rt in months maybe years but that had to be on my page#i love death and murder and agony
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SOBS.. CHERISHES THE NUGGIE 4EVER..
tags a few of the same ppl coughs
@just-miru @catherinerabbit @snufkinniee @dyke-yaoi @bbubbleo @inkyblinky @galactic-artist-27 @wintterrs @boytoydistraught
artisthedgehog:
why-me-bc-why-not:
tinybitofhope:
a-pr0per-full-0n-gay-crisis:
urlocalsadkid-l:
mel-hyperfixates:
pinkbebasins:
weirdo09:
k-kroomie:
royallydivinelesbian:
lovelyheartclover:
localidiotvoid:
thatoneguydownthestreet:
obamas-divorced-aunt:
captain-liminal:
killersweetie:
shibainu2006:
killersweetie:
sanyu-thewitch05:
thisismisogynoir:
ribbonspice:
petitprincess1:
tranquil-slaughterhouse:
softcoffeeaddict:
drama-glob:
pastaprincess:
uwufizzarozzieuwu:
the-maddened-hatter:
kirbybooo:
kawaii-pigeon:
amber-acrylic:
nottheonlyusername:
archivefullofyoutubers:
This is the Nugget of Friendship.
It is not given lightly. Yet I give it to you.
Yes. I mean YOU.
Now shoo.
Pass on the Nugget of Friendship.
@amber-acrylic
I’VE BEEN BLESSED WITH THE FRIENDSHIP NUGGET THANK YOU MY BESTIE
@kawaii-pigeon @dogesphere @still-not-rly-sure get fuckin NUGGED
@plague-of-insomnia @punnypandemonium @lumpkinboi @kirbybooo GET NUGGED
mine is gluten free but THANKIE PIDGEY OMG QWQ
@histronic-gizmo @em0r1ck @undead–hotmess @proship-raincandy @because-i-simp @rosalynn-the-simp @the-maddened-hatter
ALL THE NUGGIES FOR YOU
I MAKE THEM DINO NUGGIES
Awwww, thanks Kirby! *nomnomnom* :D
@not-a-biscuit @garlic-the-gnome @a-walking-fandom-reference @petitprincess1 @uwufizzarozzieuwu @genderpunks @plaguedocboi *hands you each a nugget in the shape of your choice that adheres to your dietary requirements/preferences*
*gasp* a veggie nuggie? for me? Thank you!!!
*passes nuggets to @internallyscreamingdaily @janis-1987 @pastaprincess and all the rest of my followers*
I’m so blessed to get a nuggie 💕
I’ll pass it to @drama-glob and @justa-fangirl and anyone else who wants one for for it 💗
Thank you @pastaprincess ! I graciously accept it and consider you a friend too. ^_^ I shall pass it on to others. :)
@spyrkle4 @itz-darktrax @gimme-a-thrust @princessanieloid @softcoffeeaddict @enbydemirainbowbigfoot @betlegast @charsawdeath
F,,for me? 🥺
Thank you so much!! I love you prev, mwah mwah mwah <33 🫶🏻❤️
I’m passing it to @peachteakitty @tawnyowl38 @redsrune @tranquil-slaughterhouse @futuristic-fire-kitty @ohheyitsyouagain @nothing-particularly-exciting @dynamic-lover @nodesiretogrowup @catskincass @justanothermarco @ace-alien-with-anxiety @el-viento-soba-tu-cabello !! <3
Thank you, Gaz!
@petitprincess1 @firecrackerhh @cranberry086 @drowninnoodles
@ryuu-from-the-grave @spiderdiva
Thanks!!!
@amarynthian-fortress @freakxwannaxbe @vaggatha @littleimps @spiderdiva @hanekdraws @paperhats-and-evil-schemes @tableflipapocalypse @zatyrlucy @nympippi @firecrackerhh @cherry-aqua-blossom @devidaydreamer @kirbybooo @cranberry086 @sluttycrimehat @elceetheporcupine and many more because I suck with remembering names 😅
You don’t gotta do this if you don’t want to :3
Cool!
Tagging: @diana-berry @thisismisogynoir @cringelordtbh @crimson-ace @censoredface and @fabianocolucci
Well I’d be rude to not pass it on!
Hmm… how about @reesethedndencantolover @shuinami @moonwheelfly @alldramaisvalidstorytales @redheaddyke @depresseddisneyprincess @neshatriumphs @neondyke @disaster-vampire @dyke-kali @subculturewar @afrolatinozuko @sanyu-thewitch05 and @dolores-and-luisa-stan! Y’all are the best! Keep the nugget circling!
Pass it on!
@killersweetie @dysfunctionalburden @hannija @hipsterteller @thetimelordbatgirl
😫😫😫
THANKSSSSS!
@shibainu2006 @vtoriacore @vtoriacore-rbs @captain-liminal
AWWWW KILLERRRRR
@merotwst
@atcordare
@marcythehumble
@the-dumber-scaramouche
@eccedentesiast-sapphic
@v-anrouge
😚😚😚
Thank you but I dint have any friends on hERE I DONT THINK I CAN PASS IT ON ( ~0~)
@starkillerqueen @obamas-divorced-aunt
Nuggie!
@twisted-lover-boys
@demon-lover-669
@thatoneguydownthestreet
Brb I gotta go pray to the nugget 🙏
@4e7her
@mammoneythegreat I offer you a nugget @yaesxmikos you too come get your nugget
@tommy1sdead my brother, I know how much you love chickens nuggets bruh 😆 this is for you dude! ☺️💗💗💗💗💗🌸
Also for my other mutuals cuz they gotta eat right?
@royallydivinelesbian @weirdo09 @milf-percy @magicalmousey @hoolay-boobs @vixxelle @mozzyspurt @mushiemooon @dorkynerd23
THANK YOU FOR THE TAG !!
@rashadliveson @weirdo09 @autistic-prince-cinderella @bootleg-exe @coquette-club @frogs-and-similar-fucks @goldendiie @hoolay-boobs @justanisabelakinnie @k-kroomie @lil-sweet-angelangel @monislvt @sicklyslvt @thisismisogynoir @violettfae
@wlwocprincess @xzmickeyzx
YAY I GET A NUGGET
@loveme-iamadiva @weirdo09 @anachryri @kellovesatsvx3 @bugfeather @rashadliveson @xiu-mya7
aww thank you, i didn’t know i was your friend 😭
@pimplepogue @yarkayaslava @pinkbebasins @pinkpwuddin @background-character-341 @xhavibee @chilewithcarnage (if you’re fine w being tagged) @queenofthespiderverse @rashadliveson @yelenapines
MY FRIENDS!!!!
@lavender-draw @mel-hyperfixates @vilf-lover @nothingtoseeherebyeexx
@je11y-f1sh @urlocalsadkid-l
<3333
@sad-bi-girl @sharksdonotexist @a-pr0per-full-0n-gay-crisis @aj-needs-2-sleep @anxiety-lemsbian @nonbinarytrashpanda @nellysview @whatthefr0g @wantmeifyouwantme @crunchy-soup222 @butterfliesareamyth @butimwritingthisat3am @octobitheoctagonal @touloserrs @yesterdayorcenturiesbefore @thuidium-delicatulum @plutoisaplanet0 @sleepy-vix @localtorispring @mel-hyperfixates @crying-in-converse @planet-of-sleep @secretlyafrog7 @buggiessss1019
@urlocalsadkid-l
I WOULD LOVE TO BE YOUR FRIEND
@tinybitofhope @autisticnotartistic @cheezbot @catsplushellhounds @capt-jinx @drowinginmyownabyss @edenlovesheartstopper @faulty-radio
WAHHH I GET A NUG OF FRIENDSHIP!!! TYSM @a-pr0per-full-0n-gay-crisis
@heartstopper-lover123 @buggiessss1019 @readyafterthesunrise @aledradio @piney-45 and all my fucking moots bc i love uuuu
@artisthedgehog @rookisit @queerlywren
@nerdybluehairandpronouns
I LOVE YALL HAVE SOME NUGGS!!!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THANKS
@accidentallyaverage @caffeinated-emo-twink @nexi1066 @mem3nto-mor1 @toulouseradiosilence @riley-creates-stuff AND AND ALL OF MY MUTUALS AND ALL OF TUMBLR BECAUSE YEA
@colorful-craze @kayrielwrites @tzipor-feather-blog @rainofthetwilight @nebulaofchaosandwoe @sleepingseas0n
HAVE SOME NUGGETS!!!
#raven we dont talk much but i seriously adore having u as a friendly person in my life so so much.#seeing you on v[???] was a great chance encounter and im glad you and i reached out to one another and chittered!! :]#quackity? ur so fuckin slay!! we dont talk much but u and simp are so cool. i love ur profile layouts and ur general vibes? chef kiss thx u#miru? ily sm. thank u for being such a silly goober on my dash all the time i may not know ur blorbos half of the time but ur dedication#to ur blorbos? so pog. its so refreshing to see. pats gour silly lil head and to this day listens to the playlist u linked us.#CAT?? cannot believe how we fucking met. 10/10 would give u my url on omgle again. ur lowkey one of the reasons we kept staying on tumblr#we love u sm. ur so cool. im sorry i never attacked u on AF but spoons go brr.. as thanks i make u vodka and weed pork chop. (/ref)#SNUFKIN? found u in our cryptidcore era. stuck around ever since. ur a pillar of epicness and cool vibes. ur blog makes us so happy.#every time we see moomin anything we think of u like a golden lab. wags our metaphorical tail at you#boytoy? ur pog. ur so pog. too shy to talk to u but like. i see u. i love ur posts on my dash. ur funny and so cool 2 me. thank u for bein u#INKY aka bitch. ily. so so much. ur the best sibling a single man could ever ask for. u mean the world and then that but like x10. ily.#i keep saying this but its true. u grew up with me and i am forcing u to remember that catboy skylox rp and the team crafted homestuck edits#lizzzz ily2 ur so cool and ur art ablity is so goals. ur tiktoks r funny. let us bond over rats#ross i barely know u but ur cool#funny even#meat forgor 2 tag u and boytoy but meaties say sorry 3:>
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random assortment of drawings i might as well post
#scribbles#ocposting#furry tag#gif#eyestrain#bright colors#mother series#the gifs showing up kinda weird i think thats just a thing on my end though#have noticed it happens a lot for me w transparent gifs on here. idk#gif was for a dta thingy btw uhhh#‘cowcheese’ thing is for my sisters weezer parody where theyre rats nd instead called cheezer#words on the one on its right are lyrics frm heres to you by zebrahead cuz it was stuck in my head..#oh also the middle drawing on the first row of three was color picked frm the cover of phoenix also by zebrahead#first drawing i just made cuz i was messing w preset brushes nd thought itd be funny#long one w the four characters is.. little goody two shoes characters But Furries . lol#oh the one left of the cheezer thing was smthn i drew in class w my friends prisma colors instead of working on my actual art project#actually started that now its driving me crazy cuz i made like a million versions of the sketch messinf w the composition#and im still not sure entirely what i do and dont wanna include and also the actual paper im doing my final on isnt like. wide enough to fi#things in nicely 💔💔💔 also i never planned out colors like an idiot so im making that up as i go and avoiding it a lot aghhghh#giegue drawings are honestly just here cuz i think hes funny#sorry for the paragraph of tags i love talking abt things#uhhhmhmmh i kinda hate postint stuff most places online now ngl#i have so much more art i COULD post but it just feels weird idk#no one really interacts w my stuff much anymore anyways like idk <- this is jot me fishing for pity or disregarding anyone who does leave#nice comments i appreciate that stuff SO mucu it means the world to me. i just dont feel super strongly abt posting shit anymore i feel lik#i have much better peace of mind just leaving things to myself sometimes#as much as i like sharing things it just hasnt been convenient lately and also ive just been getting like.. very paranoid abt a lot of#things over these past years and the constant posting everything o. tumblr thing didnt help much#🙃 okay ill stop rambling now have a nice day
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I still can’t get over the fact that this season we will get a whole story arc about Izzy “I wanna bone Blackbeard” Hands learning that he does in fact wanna bone Blackbeard and hence has been so pissed and hurt all this time.
I mean… at this point it is not even at all unlikely that there will be a scene where Ed sits Izzy down and has to give him a friendzone talk alá:
“Iz, I will always care about you but you love Blackbeard and you have to learn that I am not Blackbeard, in fact probably never was. I am Edward Teach and all I wanna be from now on is just that and be with the man who loves me for the person that I actually am and not for the ideal that people want to see in me. So I’m afraid, you have to let me go, mate”
The fact that this started out as a pirate comedy and is now heading towards being the most adorable and dramatic found-family gay soap ever is just… I need to sit down for a minute.
#our flag means death#ofmd#izzy hands#I used to hate him so much but tumblr has infected me these last few months and honestly#he’s just an old nasty rat looking for love and I feel him in that way#but still#this is so surreal#I hope Con finally got to have some great gay times as well on set#imagine if Izzy gets a boyfriend this season#I think I would collapse#Blackbeard#Edward teach#Stede Bonnet#ofmd 2#our flag means death 2#our flag means death season 2
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Am I the asshole for screaming at my adoptive parents at 2am?
I (16F) don't think I'm doing anything wrong but my parents seem to be getting frustrated so let's see what Tumblr thinks. For context, I love my parents and they love me very much. We are a very affectionate family and spend a lot of quality time together. My parents do their best to make sure my every need are met, but sometimes their best isn't good enough. They feed me two meals a day and leave out enough snacks that I have plenty to eat during the day. However, we recently moved and our new house came with a rat problem. My parents "claim" that they can't leave me snacks because the rats were eating it and it encourages them to keep coming into the house. However, the result of this is that I wake up in the middle of the night *starving* with no food to eat. I try to inform my parents of this (by screaming until they wake up at 2am) but they just tell me to go back to bed. They REFUSE to give me more snacks until breakfast. They also told me if I really want to have snacks out all night I could chip in and help, but they had most of my teeth removed when I was 14 (long story, but the teeth were causing pain and had to go) so I really don't know what I could do to help.
Like I said, I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. A lady has to eat after all! And they're being very rude denying me food when they KNOW the food I like is kept in cabinets I can't reach. They don't get mad at me, but last night I may have woken them up 7 times, and by the last one they sounded pretty exasperated. AITA? If it helps you make a decision, they wake me up during my naps ALL the time.
What are these acronyms?
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Chapter One: The Proposal
Satoru Gojo x Reader. (Royalty AU Series)
Synopsis: Wanting the best for your kingdom, you accept the marriage proposal sent by the Gojo empire to marry the new emperor Satoru Gojo. What you don't know is that he has been yearning for you since he came to know of your existence and is determined to make you reciprocate his affections. How far will he go to earn your love? Warnings: Explicit language, smut, slight angst, acts of violence(not between the main characters), war. Author's Note: Hi! This is my first writing on Tumblr and I hope you love this as much as I loved creating it! Honest feedback would be appreciated! Word Count: 1.1k words
Saying that the proposal was unexpected would be an understatement.
The day began like any other. Your two ladies-in-waiting, Miwa and Nobara, helped you dress, after which you had breakfast with your family in the main dining hall.
Being the firstborn of King Maximillian and Queen Eleanora of the prestigious kingdom Aveloria, your entire life consisted of cultivating you into the Queen that your people could rely on.
And here you were, _____ Amiria, at the bright age of only 22, the heir apparent to the throne, encompassing every quality a young royal should have. Not only did you excel in academics and eloquence, but you also thrived in war planning and wielding a sword. Your parents couldn't be more proud of the person you had grown into as they realized that the kingdom would end up in reliable hands.
There was little you wouldn't do for your kingdom. You loved the people, culture, traditions, and everything that made this land your home. Your citizens loved and cherished you, and it felt right that you did your best to ensure they lived a secure and satisfactory life under your rule.
You were discussing your kingdom's alliances and potential threats of war with your father when your emissary, Kento, stood at the entrance to the room.
"Your Majesties," He bowed in your direction before you beckoned him over. "Princess _____ has received a proposal."
"From who?" Your attention remained on the spread of documents on the table, as proposals were nothing new in your case.
Your pen drops from the previously strong grip of your hand when you hear his response.
"The Gojo Empire."
-
Since you turned eighteen, you had received countless proposals from suitors from kingdoms on the other side of the world.
But this was different. This was the Gojo Empire. The ruler of the largest empire the world had ever seen wanted your hand in marriage. This changed everything.
Now that the initial shock wore off, you sat in the drawing room with your younger brother, Heeseung, discussing the various details of the proposal.
"Satoru Gojo wants your hand in marriage. Interesting." Heeseung seemed to ponder. "This is clearly a move to form an alliance."
"That's a quick conclusion. You don't think he wants to marry me because I'm pretty?" You joked, poking your brother in the ribs.
"No, I don't, sister." He deadpans, causing you to glare at him. "Why would he want to marry a sewer rat?"
"You take that back." You laugh as you launch into a play-fight with your brother. The nineteen-year-old tried to overpower you but ultimately failed as you caught him in a headlock.
"Dearest, let go of your brother." Your mother chuckled as she walked in with your father.
Begrudgingly, you loosen your hold on Heeseung, muttering a quick 'only because Mama said so' before you let him go completely.
"Let's discuss the proposal, shall we?" Your father announced as he took a seat. "_____, what do you think?"
"Obviously, it's very beneficial for us. Being connected to the Gojo Empire means having ties with almost every kingdom in existence." You straighten your spine as you speak. "I think we should accept."
"A union will definitely bring benefits, but that's not what I'm asking, my dear." Your father's eyes soften as he looks at you endearingly. "Do you want this? Marriage is not a simple ordeal."
You take a moment to weigh your options. Love and similar nuances were never of importance to your rational mind. Sure, you read a few romance novels here and there, but that was simply for enjoyment. You never expected to experience love and being loved firsthand. It seemed that wouldn't change. Your kingdom and duties were of utmost importance to you.
"I'm sure, Papa." You sigh as you look at him. "As long as Aveloria is happy, I'm happy. We should accept."
"They have asked us to join them for tea next week." Your mother chimes in. "Shall we send an official reply?"
"Yes." You smile at her. "Let's do it."
-
Satoru Gojo. An emperor. A cold-blooded man on and off the battlefield. Revered by those who love him and feared by those who do not.
An absolute fool for you.
He first saw you at the coronation of his best friend, King Jaeyun, five years ago. He was in the midst of sharing a drink with the newly appointed king when something caught his eye.
Someone, he corrected himself.
There you were, laughing with Jaeyun's sister, Claire, looking absolutely enchanting in your emerald green dress. Your eyes glinted in the sunlight, but your smile was even brighter.
Feeling a pair of eyes on you, you turned, making direct eye contact. You smiled at him softly, just for a second, but that's all it took.
Satoru Gojo was a man in love. Not real love, he knew that much. But the array of feelings he felt when beheld by your eyes couldn't be described in any other way.
He had to know who you were.
Later that same evening, he asked Claire to tell him everything she knew about you. She would say it felt more like an interrogation.
_____ Amiria. Heir apparent to the throne of Aveloria. The woman of his dreams.
Since the coronation, he had only run into you once or twice, never making conversation. He thought the lack of interaction would eventually cause him to lose feelings.
How wrong he was.
He did everything he could to forget about you. He spent his time doing his duties and even considered courting other women, but to no avail.
They simply were not you.
Every new detail he received about you from his informants only made him fall deeper. Thoughts of you gripped his mind like a vice, unwilling to let him escape its clutches.
-
Within the Gojo Empire, an unmarried emperor was unheard of. Satoru was the first to break that tradition, facing a small amount of backlash from his people in the process.
As it had become a year since his coronation, he felt ready to look for prospects who could eventually be his wife.
He only had one person in mind. Only one person he truly wanted.
You.
And what the emperor wants, he gets.
-
#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x reader#jjk fluff#jjk angst#gojo satoru smut
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Identifying furries by their fursonas
Fox- this is the default fursona for the default furry, namely a twink with a blown out fucked to death asshole
Vixen- Girl fox referred to as a vixen is an egg, girl fox just referred to as a fox is an out trans woman
Kistune - the same as above but weeb flavor
he-wolf - a greasy guy who weighs 12 pounds soaking wet and wears a fedora. republican.
she-wolf - the butchest bull dyke you ever saw
coyote - manic depressive. always on something. the drug connection at any furry party
Cat- always a woman
black cat - could be any gender but always goth
kitten/kitty - a trans sex worker, has an only fans they really want you to know about.
bobcat - older dude. wants people to think he's ex-military
Jaguar - an older black guy. will probably have the word "black" in his fursona's name
lion - just a huge asshole
tiger - another asshole. old. wants you to believe he's ex military or ex-police, probably a member of the dorsai irregulars. major grill dad vibes
jackal - a huge asshole and a slut. white gay racist, probably transphobic
cougar - either a trans woman or a terf. there's no in between
Horse - white woman who identifies as 2 Spirit or a guy who wants to be stomped on
Pony - gay nazi
unicorn - either the absolute gayest dude you can be or a 9 year old girl. sometimes a late in life transition
Tanuki - latino
badger - either a huge lesbian or an old avuncular straight guy. possible sex pest
Raccoon - nature's greatest mistake. too normie to be furry, too furry to be normie. dilf.
bat - either a goth or a real annoying shit (some overlap). invader zim fanboy. doesn't drink alcohol but claims to act crazy on "sugar highs." definitely has dabbled in webcomics
cow - a woman. maternal. mom friend or mommy dom. milf. possibly trans femme
steer - a big strong fat rough trade gay guy
sheep - mom vibes
pretty much any farm animal - mom vibes
domestic pig - wild card. might be a wet and messy fetish thing tho or a trash eating thing. loves to be stinky. loves to talk about being stinky.
wild pig - trans masc
skunk - either a fat beardy guy who has a tumblr blog about animation squash & stretch or a stoner gal. very straight. the straightest. a kinsey 0. has strong feelings about what the fandom used to be like before there were all these kids in it.
rat - is a huge asshole as a front, probably likes talking cigars
lemur - autistic
sloth - 420 blaze it. will never finish any commissions
chakat - an older cishet man who thinks the fandom is too political & refers to "anime" as "japanimation"
sergel - nazi
citra - the biggest dipshit you've ever met
procyon - furry equivalent of the thomas jefferson miku binder pic. you should not be talking to this person, this is a literal child
weasel - a girl with cluster b personality disorders
ferret - a person who has at least one pet ferret, but probably many
mole - this person thinks they're in a beatrix potter story
guinea pig/chinchilla/jerboa/gerbil/any kind of fat rodent you can keep as a pet - the sweetest person you will ever meet
armadillo/pangolin/anteater/aardvark - smug, contrarian. "i just wanna be different"
mouse - vore fetishist, prey. sub.
hyena - vore fetishist, pred. probably trans masc
otter - a dommy twink, possible enby
bear - gay
panda - absolutely a white person pretending to be asian. probably running a gofund me scam with a suspicious story about how they're a professional nintendo gamer who injured their hand or something
bullfrog - a huge fat hairy straight guy
any other frog - inflation or rubber fetishist
axolotl/newt/salamander - genderfluid enby
rabbit - trad wife trans woman
squirrel - autistic and gay
deer - gay
gazelle - zootopia megafan
monkey - punk DIY artist type, definitely loves weed
ape - absolutely baffling. nothing this person does or says makes any sense. you will be left wondering whether you're speaking to a child, a person with severe mental issues, or someone who doesn't have english as a first language
elephant - mom friend
hippo - a fat fetishist or a transformation fetishist
rhino - an older cishet dude who wants to project a curmudgeonly yet approachable aura
kangaroo - definitely not an australian person. extremely focused kinkster, usually feet or inflation. more STDs than should be possible to carry
koala - an asian woman
virginia opossum - anarchist/communist punk trans man who makes zines and/or comics
australian possum - just here to have fun. wants everyone else to be having fun too. wacky funster. (sugar gliders and flying squirrels fall under this category)
any other marsupial - poser
monotremes - extreme poser, don't even bother
doberman- gay dude who tops from the bottom or a cop (there is some overlap)
german shepherd - a nazi or a cop (there is substantial overlap). definitely a furry raider. he will wear his cop uniform to con and after con will post videos pretending that someone was rude to him
afghan - arch femme
basset hound - racist
puppy - sub, probably an egg. extremely draining. cries a lot
all other dogs - just dudes being bros (gender neutral)
dragon - the furries of furries. like to talk about eating "sammiches" and "chocklit." probably an adult baby lifestyler. they will send DMs that just say "hi." they like to RP and when they contact you about a potential commission they are actually just trying to trick you into RP
griffin - the same as above but also a brony
snake - sissy hypno fetishist
turtle - an old man, probably southern. an ironic grandpa.
other scalies - furry in denial. either a child or an old person from CYD. the world's last something awful goons
any fursona with latino vibes - white
any fursona with asian vibes - latino
any fursona with native american vibes - eastern european
avian - girl who's not like other girls. hippie. vegan.
raven/crow - agender voidgoth
chicken - mom vibes
dinosaur - the absolute biggest nerd. probably has an actual degree in paleontology. definitely dresses like miss frizzle.
any invertebrate - not a real furry, their girlfriend just made them get a furaffinity account before they could get ass. either that or they've never even heard of furry, they just came up with the idea of anthropomorphics from first principles. a biology teacher or weirdo (there is some overlap)
amoeba - this is a troll
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I finally got all my brain ducks into enough of a row to send this! I just wanted to say that Tumblr recommended your art to me on a whim, and I am actually OBSESSED now lol. I had no prior investment in Submas or anything tangentially related to it prior to this (aside from liking Pokémon generally lol), but I couldn’t help but tear through everything you’ve drawn for these silly little rat children and I love them so much now!!! I wanna pick them up and shake him around like little action figures! The shenanigans and the heartfelt moments are just,, UGH so good! I have no words! Thank you for the food I am going FERAL over them <3
Your art is also high key goals for me now tbh. I absolutely ADORE your coloring and rendering style, and also they way you draw Pokémon in general?? Very animalistic but still recognizably Pokémon?? Literally galaxy brained. I’m going to SCREAM. I know you already posted a bit of your art process, but I’d love to know if you’ve got any rendering tips and/or how you get that clean but sketchy look. It looks so good I want to eat it lol.
(Also I really love the way you’ve been formatting Elesa’s dialog, with the extra lines around the letters. It really gives the vibe that her grasp on Galarian is currently shaky at best and idk, I like that you’ve managed to find a way to convey that over text. I think that’s pretty cool :D)
I SAW YOU REBLOG A WHOLE BUNCH AND IM,,, (throwing hearts at you)
Thank you so so much! I’m glad you love these terrible little guys wandering Unova just as much as I do, haha!
As a treat, lemme pull out some drafting for the mini illustrations. I usually start every snapshot with a run down of what I remember from the area, possible shenanigans encountered, and then a doodle of ideas to come.
From there, it’s a SUPER rough sketch, followed by lineart and rough color, and then cleanup!
(More thumbs and their finals below!)
At the end of the day, all my lines are VERY sketchy. I’m a lot stronger when it comes to mashing colors. That, and if you set your line layer from normal to multiply, the lines will always be automatically darker then whatever layer is placed underneath. It’s a trick used quite a bit for placing cel shadows in animation, but it’s useful for lineart in a pinch.
For colors, I like to stick to a limited pallet and branch out only after setting my primary colors. This entire series has been very experimental for me though, as you can probably tell.
As for the last bit— YES… YOU GET IT! As Elesa grows, the lines in her dialogue will start appearing less and less. It’s the little things that map the span of time for these guys.
Yippee!
#ask#mailbox#aah… scared to respond to my inbox because there r so MANY asks but#this one’s asking for tips and i love getting on my soapboxes#and also the sheer amount u reblogged??? holy shit okay if ur gonna put the effort so shall i!!#ANYWAYS!#critterbitter screams into the void#critterbitter
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Sunny Day Jack - Dragon Jack Fantasy AU Headcanons
So, I know that Jack’s fursona is a snake, because he wants warm cuddles his sunshine won’t run away from, which is where we get naga Jack, but what if he was a different sort of mythical creature?
No, not an incubus, but you can check out my incubus headcanons here and here. I’m talking about a different fantastical creature that still has a few scaly features.
It’s the year of the dragon, and that got me thinking about a certain piece of absolutely gorgeous artwork my friend Mars made back in August, which in turn made me think, dragon Jack AU?
Dragon Jack AU.
Oh hell yeah, let’s get fantastical.
Credit for this beautiful artwork and fueling my inspiration goes to the marvelous Mars, who you can find over here on tumblr and on twitter. Please consider popping on by to leave a kind word or two. Trust me, you won’t regret looking at all of her jaw-droppingly stunning art!
Content warnings: There is going to be spice in these headcanons, and it’s going to get a bit kinky at times. I mean, we’re talking about Jack as a dragon getting frisky with his sunshine. Bad Dragon didn’t get its name for nothing after all. Oh and there’s also some dark themes like going insane from isolation, families being awful to one another, exploitation of workers, bullshit politics in a medieval inspired fantasy setting, deadly monsters attacking people, yandere obsession, that sort of thing.
Overall it’s going to be pretty lighthearted, especially in comparison to the super dark and angst-filled hurt/comfort story that I recently posted, so this post shouldn’t get more intense than the game itself.
The Cursed Prince
Let us begin this AU with the tale of Sunny Day Jack, a poor soul who was damned to be left alone and forgotten by all who knew him. In this case, that place he was left to be forgotten was a castle in the middle of a dark and twisted land, bound by a curse that not even the strength of a dragon can break.
Jack wasn’t always this way. Long ago, he was someone grand, a prince by the name of Joseph, though not in line for any sort of throne. He was the spare of the spare, the unwanted and unneeded family member who was a risk to the true heir to the crown. He had to learn how to be strong and cunning to survive the castle politics, while at the same time he was overlooked and ignored by all.
Initially, Joseph tried all he could to earn favor with his family, to be loved by them, but no one cared. Because his family didn’t care about him, and he had no “purpose” in existing except as an obstacle to the heir to the throne, others often ignored him as well to not risk showing favor and appearing to side with him against the current forerunners to the crown. Acting out and creating mischief that the royal family couldn’t ignore was the only way for Joseph to get people to pay attention to him.
Unfortunately, Joseph pushed his luck one too many times. He ignored a family member’s warning that it would be best if he lived as a dead rat, forgotten and unseen. An assassin struck in the guise of a tutor during one of his lessons. He barely escaped, but uncovered a terrible truth. The family he always hoped might someday truly see him and love him had been behind the assassination attempt. How many members of his family were involved in the plot, he never knew for sure, but their indifference and disdain for him left him with no one he could trust.
The unwanted prince was then forced to flee the kingdom, never to return. Joseph lived as a wanderer, hiding his identity. He changed his appearance as much as he could, even stealing a potion from a wizard once. Sadly, the potion he stole could only change his hair from brown to blue, but it was better than nothing, and he quickly grew fond of the look.
Yes, blue hair is something natural in this setting. This is a fantasy world where dragons and magic exist after all. We can have people with anime hair and eye colors. ;3
The unwanted prince learned the ways of the world firsthand and took many names as he drifted along like the wind. No longer a spoiled prince, he learned how to put on a smile, to placate people instead of antagonize them. He was still alone, forced to be a wanderer until he was far, far away from his homeland, but eventually he tried to set up roots. There, he took a humble job as a jester for a noble, hoping that maybe he could find a new life, one where he could be seen and loved.
Fortune smiled on Jack, as more and more people came to watch his shows, and he earned the stage name of Sunny Day Jack. His performances with silly jokes and stories with sound moral lessons delighted the children. Nobility took notice of him, and he started to make real connections and a real life for himself in this distant land. The lord ruling over the country even eventually took notice of him, a rich and powerful ruler that could afford to throw plenty of gold this entertaining jester’s way… provided he was always entertaining.
Sadly, his good fortune was not to last. Jack got too much attention from the nobility, and a traveler familiar with his homeland took notice of how eerily similar the jester looked to the lost prince.
Word eventually got back to those who saw Prince Joseph, however unwanted and overlooked he may have been, as a risk that could not be accepted. His popularity, however frivolous, made certain people of power nervous that perhaps one day he might return and lay claim to the throne of his homeland.
It was during a performance that the world came crashing down around Sunny Day Jack. The lord that favored him and helped him most with his fame and acclaim had betrayed him to his homeland in exchange for more riches. The trap was sprung as Jack stood before a crowd of hundreds, a sudden accusation ringing out that he was a notorious criminal who had done several heinous acts while the knights of the land came at him in force to arrest him. He barely managed to escape, though not unscathed, his new life destroyed and forever sullied to all who knew his name.
This time the pursuers were relentless. Jack wasn’t known here as a prince in this foreign land. There was no one who would show even a token loyalty to his royal blood and aid him. He was now a heinous criminal, wanted dead or alive, with none willing to give him shelter. There was no way for him to use his former name or royal bloodline to gain assistance, as Prince Joseph was long since declared dead.
Jack was a clever man, and a clever man who has nothing left to lose is capable of anything, including mutually assured destruction. His time as a jester wasn’t spent as a simple fool. Though he tried to be sincere when forging his friendships, truly wanting a life of happiness where he could be loved for who he was, he had tasted betrayal once, and it cost him everything but his life. Sadly, he was prepared should this happen again. He learned how to be charming, and he used his appealing and kind nature to learn secrets that might help him one day.
One of these secrets Jack learned was of magic treasure that the lord’s family guarded and exploited for generations. He also learned of a few secret passages in the lord’s castle, which helped him to elude his pursuers. With nearly all the knights put to the task to capture or kill the escaped criminal, this left the castle vault’s security unusually lax. It granted him an opportunity that could save him, or damn them all.
There in the vault was one of a set of golden cuffs, the symbol and pride of the lord’s family, and the very thing that allowed them to take dominion over the land generations ago and rule to this day. These cuffs were said to possess a magic too powerful for any one person to control, so no one dared to wield more than one at a time, but the truth was that if anyone was foolish enough to do so, they would unleash a terrible curse that would doom the land. This was why they were kept separately, for the safety of everyone.
These cuffs have their own history to them, as a fae was tricked into creating them, a bargain for power and a price not yet paid, which was the reason behind their curse. I could ramble on about ideas I have for how they came to be, but their backstory doesn’t really matter to Jack… yet.
Betrayed, branded a criminal, his hopes for a new life dashed to pieces, and everything spiraling out of control, Jack managed to break into the vault and steal the golden cuff hidden there. Before word of the theft could spread, Jack repaid the lord for his betrayal, launching a surprise attack and stealing the other cuff before it could be used by the lord to fight back against him.
With the power of both of the golden cuffs, Jack defeated all the knights that came for him, but the power he used went out of control as the curse took hold. The power was too much for a human’s body to contain, so it changed him into a fierce creature that was made of magic, a dragon.
The land around him changed as well, the natural ley lines of magic in the land exploding out in all directions and birthing all sorts of monsters from cracks in the earth. It was chaos, and those that could fled. It was a terrible night of horrors so great that survivors who witnessed the apocalyptic destruction dared not speak of it. Over time, the plants in this tainted land grew strange from the saturation of magic, and what few animals that braved to remain in this twisted land were changed as well. The land, once prosperous and full of smiles and laughter, became a dark and foreboding place where humans refused to linger long, for fear that they too would be cursed and forever changed.
Years passed, and with the survivors refusing to speak of what happened, all traces of what happened the night the kingdom fell were lost to history. The name of the country was lost as well. The place was only known as the dark woods now, named for its twisted features and the heavy clouds that covered the land and hid it from the sun. Speculation of its creation sprang up over the years, the details growing more fanciful from storyteller to storyteller until it became only myths. The closest to the truth was that the fae had regained the land and turned it wild, which, in a way, they had when a clever but desperate prince turned fool unleashed the fae’s curse that had long been kept at bay.
What happened to that foolish prince? The curse kept him bound to the heart of the land, making it nearly impossible for him to stray far from the castle where he unleashed the curse. The more he struggled to escape, the more ways the curse would manifest to bind him to the land, chains erupting from the ground to hold him, thorns of an unnatural, cold substance blotting out the sky, monsters birthing from the land to hold him back and inflict pain on him until he could no longer fight back.
Jack had become a powerful dragon, but his power came from the very curse that turned the land into his own personal hell. His body was warped, a scaled monster with wings and horns, terrifying to behold. Those who saw him would flee his presence, save for those that tried to slay the beast that legend has it is the heart of the curse.
The dragon of the dark woods, unnamed and feared by all, was known as the master of the dark woods, dangerous and cunning. Adventurers that dare risk going into the cursed land for its materials rich in magic are wary of the great and powerful beast. Its scales gleamed of fire, its eyes spoke of endless hunger, and its power was unmatched. None could hope to slay this beast, and all who tried all failed, for only the curse itself is more powerful than the beast it created.
Despite it all, Jack struggled to hold onto his humanity. He read every book in the castle, every scroll and scrap of paper, desperate to learn the way to undo this curse he unleashed. Naturally, this was difficult for him to do with giant claws, but unfortunately for the former prince, he had nothing but time to learn how to use his altered body.
As the world forgot about the lost prince, the sunny jester, and the awful day an entire kingdom fell along with the names of all three, Jack started to forget his humanity bit by bit. He didn’t learn how to break the curse, but he did learn of other magical artifacts that had been gathered in the castle long ago, including an enchanted belt that would allow him to change his form into whatever he pleased. He used it to become a “human,” but by that point he didn’t quite remember what he used to look like. The passing years eroded his memory of humanity, and he had gotten used to his imposing dragon body. The result was a form that was a mishmash of both, a humanoid man with scales, a tail, wings, claws on his hands and feet, pointed ears and fangs, with horns and blue hair.
Jack might have started to forget things over the years of solitude, but he was at least certain that he had blue hair when he was still human.
Funny enough, no matter how large or small Jack became thanks to the magic of the belt, the golden cuffs remained fastened to his wrists. The curse wouldn’t allow them to be removed, only warp in size and shape to match whatever form his body took. Even if he were to, say, transform into a copy of a different person to fool someone, his golden cuffs would give away the ruse.
When Jack learned how to transform back into a “human,” he went through the motions of being a human in his empty castle filled with riches that were all but useless to him. He wore clothes again, even learned how to alter the fancy clothes left behind to suit his tastes. He learned how to cook the strange plants and animals of this cursed land. He no longer had any need to eat due to the magic of the land sustaining his flesh, but food still tasted good, and there was some satisfaction to be had from creating something. He kept himself sane with what hobbies he could, learning new things, but he could never learn how he could free himself from his lonely hell.
The presence of adventurers into the heart of his land was both a blessing and a curse. It was rare that it happened, and in fact it was several years after the land changed that anyone dared to venture into the dark woods for fear of being cursed for doing so. It was years more before they found its master at the heart of the cursed land.
At first, Jack was elated. He tried his best to be friendly, overly so, desperate for company and help, but this was before he found the belt that made him at least passably human. It had been so long since he had been around another human that he hadn’t tried to speak, and with his draconic muzzle, all that came out were terrible growls and unholy noises. The adventurers that found him only saw a great horned beast with claws and fangs, another monster to slay for materials, riches, and acclaim.
Jack never wanted to kill anyone. He learned to fight when he had to, though he tried to avoid killing if he could. Unfortunately, when he unleashed the curse, people perished in the chaos, much to his dismay. Though he tried to approach these adventurers peacefully, he would not allow them to cause him further suffering. His power was so great that it was difficult to hold back, so the damage he could cause was severe. He would let those who fought him live if he could, allowing them to flee, but none saw this as a mercy. He became a nightmare spoken in hushed whispers, a challenge for adventurers to overcome, rather than a lost soul desperate to be free.
In a twisted way, over time Jack started to look forward to anyone brave enough to venture into the heart of the dark woods, even if the result was always violence. It was always a rare thing due to the intense danger of the dark woods. Certainly, they would always try to kill him, but at least he got to spend time with another human being! Being alone messes with a person’s mind, especially for such a long time. Humans are pack animals not meant for solitude.
Sometimes these adventurers would leave stuff behind, and Jack kept them. Dragons have an instinct to horde, and the castle is already filled with treasure. Plus they were reminders that humans were still out there and that someday, hopefully, he’d join them as one of them once again.
Jack tried his best to learn how to talk with his new body, to sound friendly instead of fierce. Unfortunately, oftentimes he found himself getting the opposite result, the words coming out of his muzzle sounding strange and uncanny, which only added to the nightmarish legend of the master of the dark woods.
Every encounter with Jack was a battle more fierce than the last, and the dragon’s legend only grew. His attempts to follow after the humans who fled from him led to the land itself stopping him, and others would be caught in the crossfire. To Jack, the humans that came to visit him were his only hope, and he would struggle harder against the curse to escape, to be with them. This made the curse fight back even harder in more brutal ways, summoning worse monsters. Soon the heart of the dark woods was known as a hellish place, where the land itself would turn against you if you tried to escape its brutal master that hunted you relentlessly.
Over the years, humans adapted, as they often do. Adventurers learned to stick with the outer fringes of the dark woods to harvest materials. It was the least dangerous, relatively speaking, and what could be gained deeper in was not worth the cost, especially if they strayed to the heart of the land where its terrible master lay in wait for any poor soul to enter.
It’s been a long, long time since Jack has seen another human, and he’s slowly going insane from solitude. He does what he can to distract himself or escape, trying desperately to hold onto his humanity, but it erodes bit by bit with each passing year. Even gaining the ability to transform into a “human” form hasn’t stopped his ever steady decline into madness. He fears that one day he might lose his humanity completely and become the mindless monster that those who fought him believed him to be.
Perhaps all that Jack and the dark woods need to heal is a little bit of sunshine.
Beyond the Dark Woods
Outside the fringes of the cursed land, time marched on. Years went by, rulers came and went, borders changed as land was annexed or reverted to wilderness. A lot can happen over the decades, especially in a fantasy world filled with magic, monsters, and mischievous fae.
How long Jack was trapped alone in the dark woods is a mystery. Maybe it’s 40 years, or perhaps a lot longer than that.
Regardless, the homeland that once had a lost prince named Joseph is still around, a relatively stable country all things considered. In fact, it had grown over the years thanks to annexing land from other countries that had been weakened by the results of the curse. Monsters often wandered out of the dark woods, putting nearby villages in danger and impressing the need for more adventurers to cull the monsters that threatened human life. What was once a kingdom had grown into an empire, growing prosperous with its many strong knights and adventurers, though like any place, it had its own share of problems.
But enough politics, let’s get into the other characters, shall we?
MC is a knight, as demonstrated by the lovely Thea in Mars’ art. Well… they aspire to be a knight anyway. Bullshit politics have kept them as a squire to a knight of higher nobility since they were a teenager. It’s been over 10 years already! How much longer do they have to wait to become a knight? They’re sick of having to polish and shine Barry’s armor, and if they have to scrub his codpiece one more time…
Yup, Barry is a knight in this AU, though only technically. Nobility sometimes get granted a knight title for some reason or another, usually as a token to honor them and/or their families. These nobles usually were just knights in name only, parading around as if they’re this grand figure when other knights did the real battling. They can play the hero without ever actually having to go into battle and send squires to do the menial work for them.
In a sense, Barry is a rich man who bought a title because it was cool, and he makes a big show of it. It’s pretty much a vanity project, and a way to increase his clout to maybe move up in the ranks of nobility. He has MC announce his presence grandly, something just as over the top as the greeting to Yogurtopia. Perhaps something like… “Announcing the great, honorable, and very handsome and still very single and looking for a bride, Sir Barry of [insert surname here].” Or something like that, maybe with his noble title thrown in there for good measure. Maybe he could insist his squire plays a horn first…
Man, even with a proclamation heralding Barry wherever he goes, no one is interested in him. He hasn’t had a date in way too long. Maybe he needs his armor to be polished a little brighter.
While MC isn’t Barry’s only squire, they are the one often left doing the work, as other squires slack off or wind up getting elevated to knight despite being younger than MC is. It’s understandably really, really frustrating for MC. They come from a lesser noble house, just barely above a commoner, so they’re an easy mark for any higher ranked noble to rub the power difference in their face.
Really, it’s all enough to make MC consider quitting to become an adventurer. Sure, adventurers are basically mercenaries for hire at the guild and the jobs can be infrequent, and money can be hard to come by, but… Ah, who are they kidding? The squire job might suck, but at least they get the security of steady pay, regular meals, a place to sleep, mild prestige, and they don’t have to go camping in the woods for days on end hunting some specific monster or harvesting a certain number of rare herbs.
Besides, MC admires the knights (aside from Barry). Their best friend became a knight a few years ago, lucky dog. Still, Shaun didn’t rub it in their face like the pal he is. Shaun looks so regal in his shiny silvery armor, even having it adorned with pretty badass etchings and other decorations. There’s a very feline feeling to it as well, since cat daddy has to be cat knight in this AU. Hey, I don’t make the rules.
…Oh, wait. :3c
Anyway, the other knights can be pretty cool as well. There’s this one knight who has been friendly, though MC doesn’t know his name yet. The guy acts strangely shy when they’re around, which is confusing to them. They’re just a squire after all, not a cool knight in studded leather armor like him.
Poor Nick has a crush on MC in this universe too and is pretty tongue tied around them. MC might still be a squire, but there’s just something about them that lights up a room. Their spirit isn’t crushed despite the fact that they should’ve been a knight years ago. He envies how easily Sir Shaun can chat with them.
Of course, Shaun is in the same boat as Nick, in that he also has a crush on MC and can be pretty clumsy with how he tries to express it. Still, in spite of this, he would have tried to see if they could be something more if not for a certain scandal that happened.
The reason why MC is still a squire, or at least one of the biggest reasons, is because of rumors that they were the secret lover of Prince Ian, the current heir to the throne.
Of course, given that MC is barely above a commoner, the idea of them getting together with the crown prince is scandalous. They got to know each other as children, with MC serving as a page to play with the young prince. When the queen caught wind that the prince saw them as anything more than a playmate in their teen years, their relationship got exceedingly strained.
Ian is in love with MC, and they felt the same, at least at one point. All the time they spent together while growing up led to fondness, then sweet first love. Unfortunately, they knew early on how their different stations meant that the chances of them being together were almost non-existent. This led to a lot of mutual pining, moments where they were tempted to act on their feelings, and some secret encounters between the two.
In spite of the queen’s interference separating them, MC and Ian saw each other in secret as much as they could. They started a forbidden romance together, and the two of them convinced themselves that maybe, somehow, they could defy the odds.
But the weight of the crown hangs heavy on the head. As Ian was swept up in his duties and the time he would be crowned as king drew ever closer, he had less and less time to spend with MC. His mother’s interference certainly didn’t help, especially since she was trying to get him engaged to a high ranked noble woman to ensure that he would be able to sire the next generation of royalty.
While yes this fantasy world is far more open with gender expression and loving others regardless of gender, nobles tend to be uptight when it comes to making sure their bloodline and power continues. Plus Ian’s mom is still abusive and controlling of her son in this universe too, and she uses not only religion to bully Ian but politics and duty as well. As queen, she has a lot more power too, and a lot more flying monkeys to spy on her son and interfere.
In a way, it’s lucky that the queen hasn’t decided that MC is a threat that must be entirely eliminated at all costs. No assassination plots… yet. Mostly it’s interference and petty revenge by forcing MC to remain a squire instead of a knight. She could throw MC out, but then how can she occasionally be petty if MC never comes to the palace? MC might be Barry’s squire, but everyone follows the queen’s orders, and a narcissist needs attention and others to bow down to them.
Unfortunately, the queen’s schemes did succeed. Ian, in a moment of weakness, fell for the seductive charms of one of his potential fiancees. He felt awful for betraying MC, to the point that he had to see them despite the risk of his mother catching them, so that he could confess what he had done and beg for forgiveness.
MC’s heart was broken, but what was worse was that it became a huge scandal. Someone had seen Ian’s confession and begging, and soon word spread like wildfire. Now everyone knew that they had secretly been lovers and that the prince was begging a mere squire for forgiveness. Ian’s reputation took a hit, while MC’s outright tanked due to the scandal, and things became much harder for them, and people have been keeping their distance from the squire that dared think they could become a future king’s consort.
Since then, MC has kept their distance from Ian as much as possible, and Ian, reluctantly, has given them space, knowing that he’s messed everything up for them. But… when he’s king, not even his mother will be able to stop them from being together. When he’s king, he’ll be able to fix everything. He just has to do what he can to make sure that happens. Then he and MC can finally be together in the open, stations be damned! Then he can truly make amends and be forgiven for what he’s done.
Shaun was there to support MC with their broken heart. While his becoming a knight has put a bit of distance between them, as he has more duties to attend to, including being sent away on missions for the country, he makes sure to keep in touch and meet up with them as best he can. Anyone who dares to say a bad word about MC in front of him is getting this cat’s claws.
Nick is no stranger to scandals. He’s basically the most popular knight in the realm, with countless admirers. Perhaps they could offer MC a word or two on how to deal with so much unwanted attention and rumors rumbling in the background.
A Squire’s Quest
Now, how does Jack factor into MC’s life without a compelling VHS tape to tie them together? Well, the instigating factor in this universe is that a thief made off with an important treasure, and Barry the knight was tasked with retrieving it. As Barry’s squire, MC was compelled to come with him to assist, which usually meant doing 99% of the work if there were no other squires with them at the time with Barry taking all the credit. But don’t worry, he only does it because he knows they’ll do a good job at it, and it just shows that they’re one step closer to becoming a true knight!
After traveling quite a ways, tracking down the thief (with MC doing most of the work picking up the trail in the first place), the pair realize that the thief went into the infamous dark woods.
Well, that’s not good. Sure there are areas that have been explored for materials, but still… the cursed land is quite dangerous. Barry decided that the best way to divide the work is for MC to continue to follow the thief’s trail, as they were better at tracking, and he, being much better at supervising and dealing with people, would see if anyone nearby could get information about what the thief might have been after, maybe set up a trap that MC could chase the thief into.
MC had to seriously consider their life choices up until this point, but if they quit now, that meant kissing goodbye to the stability they had going for them. Also, it’d probably bring dishonor to their name, maybe damage their lineage permanently, and so on and so forth.
Well, if they quit to become an adventurer, they’d have to do stupid things like trek through the dark woods anyway. Besides, the thief already stole a national treasure, which meant they weren’t stupid enough to go hunting for the invincible dragon guarding the heart of the forest, right? Sure there’s rumors that maybe the dragon guards the greatest treasure of all, but no way the thief is that dumb. No one’s actually ever seen any real treasure, or have a consensus on what the supposed greatest treasure is actually supposed to be.
After a hard internal debate, MC ultimately decides to brave the dark woods, tracking the thief stealthily. They may only be a squire, but they would probably be the greatest knight in the kingdom if not for politics. Their exact combat style is up to interpretation and personal preference, but they’re no stranger to slaying powerful monsters. They’re also used to Barry giving them unreasonable demands like this one.
And, hey, at least they’re not mortifying themselves by singing Barry’s praises when he enters a room while they’re busy with this stupid quest. That’s got to count for something, right?
Right?
Yeeeahh, okay, MC is obviously just lying to themselves and they know it, but damned if they do, damned if they don’t. They swear to themselves that they’ll only go as far as the hunting expeditions usually travel into the forest. If the thief really is stupid enough to go to the dragon’s lair, MC will just circle back and just tell Barry that the dragon probably just killed the thief, or something. No way they’re going to risk getting eaten by an unstoppable dragon.
These thoughts are a small comfort as MC follows the thief’s trail. Occasionally they have to fight magic-tainted plants or monsters. Their skill shines despite the dark gloom of cursed woods. They even get some nice materials they can sell for some extra cash. Maybe being an adventurer wouldn’t be too bad a gig after all…
Just then the loud noise breaks the eerie calm. Some sort of explosion. Magic? Fireworks? Regardless of what it was, it riled up something. That something is big, nasty, and charging right at them! In fact, it’s a lot of somethings! A pack of creatures got aggravated, and MC is forced to run!
Now, was this a natural occurrence? A bit of misfortune? Did the thief make a false trail to trick MC into going on ahead while they secretly doubled back and used a small explosion to make the monsters go nuts on MC while they used the commotion as a cover to make their escape?
Perhaps. Perhaps. MC certainly isn’t in a situation to figure out which of these possibilities it was at the moment though, as they’re too busy running for their life, inwardly cursing Barry, the queen, the thief, and anyone else that annoyed them lately. If they knew they would die today, they wouldn’t have held back last week when that one jerk stole their cinnamon roll. They would’ve at least had the satisfaction of telling them off for it!
Sarcasm and sass are a good way to cope, but MC knows full well the gravity of their situation. They quickly lose the trail back the way they came, forced to do battle with creatures that are in their path while avoiding being overwhelmed by being so outnumbered. It’s only through a mixture of skill and sheer dumb luck that they manage to survive.
And by dumb luck, I mean that they fell into a catacomb through a ruined ceiling that was keeping it hidden underground.
Well, shit. From bad to worse, right?
Nothing for it, MC is forced to find a way out of the catacombs, then somehow find a way to leave the dark woods without another group of monsters going aggro on them.
Piece of cake. Noooo problem. They just have to avoid the castle at the center of the dark woods that the dragon supposedly uses as its lair, and they’re fine. An old crypt with some undead ready to pop out is better than an unstoppable dragon. Right?
As you may have guessed, MC is, in fact, going in the direction of our lonely dragon prince. Is it just bad luck? Is it some sort of intuition or instinct drawing them to Jack? Are they bound together by fate? Is it some sort of spell Jack has cast that compels humans to seek him out because it’s been forever since a human came by, and he’s desperate for both company and freedom? Maybe some combination of these things or something else entirely. Who’s to say~? It’s up to interpretation/personal headcanon~
In any case, MC is very taken aback when they meet Jack face to face for the first time, as is Jack really. It’s been so long since he’s seen someone. A part of him wonders if MC is actually real. When they get defensive and try to figure out who or what he is, he does his best to placate them, even if they might have their weapon out and ready for battle.
Jack puts his best foot forward, being friendly and welcoming. He invites MC to his home. They look exhausted and like they’ve had a hard time. MC isn’t exactly trusting this at face value, being very guarded about the whole exchange despite how cheerful and friendly this man with wings and horns is being. He’s also getting dangerously close. Should they try to use their weapon to ward him off, like Thea might have done with her sword, Jack is skilled enough in combat by this point to easily redirect her sword with his claws.
Oops, that put Thea off balance. Don’t worry, her new pal Jack is quick to catch her before she takes a tumble.
“Careful, we wouldn’t want you getting hurt, would we?” Jack said, his tone playful.
Despite MC’s skills, they are hopelessly outmatched by Jack. He has far more experience with combat, and he has the insane powers that the curse granted him.
Of course, MC is pretty quick to put together that Jack is the invincible dragon that rules the dark woods, which means that they’re utterly screwed. Strangely enough, Jack isn’t really acting like the monster people whisper about. It’s almost enough to make MC wonder if they aren’t mistaken, but the dragon features and his overwhelming strength kind of gives it away. The fact that Jack brings MC back to his castle pretty much seals the deal.
So MC is stuck as a guest with Jack. The dark woods are too dangerous for humans to wander around alone, especially at the heart of the forest. He’s curious about MC and why they would take such a risk, very concerned by their recklessness. Why were they there?
It’s an awkward situation, but MC has no choice but to play along. How much they resist or comply depends on the MC. I figure Jack indulges even a very resistant MC due to how lonely he’s been. He can easily disarm any attempts to attack him or thwart them from getting away, so they pose no threat. He has all the time in the world to convince MC to lower their guard.
And Jack is just so… so nice. It’s hard not to find him charming. He seems so concerned about MC, and they’ve been having such a hard time with, well… everything. The castle, despite being old, has been maintained decently well. The rooms are decorated so nicely, filled with clothes for them to wear, and the food Jack makes is fantastic. Holy crap, his cooking is out of this world!
Really, the longer MC stays there, the more it seems like there’s nothing Jack can’t do, and their stay is kind of like a vacation in ways. Given how much time he’s had to teach himself new things, it’s no wonder he has become something of a jack-of-all-trades.
I make no apologies for that pun.
Here then comes the classic conundrum when it comes to Jack - does MC fall for his charms, or remain suspicious and hold him at arm’s length? They’ve been feeling pretty lonely and beaten down by life for a while now, and Jack seems almost too good to be true. It’s not like he’s keeping them captive, but they’re in the heart of the dark woods. Outside this castle are some of the worst, most dangerous monsters imaginable. Jack can protect MC if they stay there in the castle with him, but he can’t go very far from the castle, so he can’t help them leave the woods. That is why he’s keeping them from leaving the castle. You know, aside from not wanting to lose the only company he’s had in so many years.
Jack is right about the danger, unfortunately. Whether MC tries to slip away from the castle or just scopes out the surroundings via a window, they find that it’s surrounded by monsters far too dangerous for them to handle alone. There’s no way they could make it, and if they tried, they’d only survive thanks to Jack coming to their rescue.
Of course, Jack acknowledges that MC is powerful. He saw them try to attack him if he did, or he just can tell in simply because they made it all this way on their own. It’s just, well, there’s only so much anyone can do on their own. Sometimes we all need a friend to help us out.
If Jack could leave, then he could help MC leave too, but he’s stuck in the castle. He’s been there for such a long, long time.
Whether his tragic plight is enough to make MC sympathize is, of course, up to the individual. I do know my gal Alice is going to want to help him after hearing him out. Being trapped in this awful place by a curse is a fate she wouldn’t wish on anybody.
Not to mention helping Jack would help MC leave the dark woods. There’s no threat he can’t handle after all. They’d be getting their own personal dragon bodyguard.
Perhaps with a pair of fresh eyes and more knowledge of the state of the world, MC will have better luck figuring out how to free Jack from the curse. Maybe they’ll just play along to not upset their super powerful host so they can escape. It would certainly take time for MC to really trust Jack, even if he seems so friendly and kind… and, they have to admit, this place is lonely and very unsettling for anyone to stay in, even if Jack has tried his best to make it look nice. It’s certainly creepy to be alone here in the heart of the dark woods. The castle is better than the woods full of monsters, but still…
Anyway, the interactions between MC and Jack are up to the individual to decide. Romance the dragon, or flee from the dragon in the end. Being stuck together can bring a sort of fondness, and Jack falls in love. It makes him determined to never lose MC, ever, so he falls down the yandere path, which can lead to some pretty obsessive moments depending on the choices made.
As for the alternate love interests, after Ian receives word that MC disappeared in the dark woods, he sends knights on a quest to find and rescue them, despite the queen’s interference. This of course includes Shaun and Nick, who are the first to volunteer for the rescue mission. Despite the queen’s meddling, not wanting to waste manpower on a thorn in her side, Ian finally takes a stand against his mother for the sake of MC and their love, and the expedition is sent.
Unbeknownst to the knights, Ian sneaks along with them in disguise. He can’t just sit back and wait while MC is in danger. He can’t let them down a second time. He’ll prove to them, and himself, that he’s truly worthy of their love.
From there it’s trials and tribulations of the guys trying to rescue MC from the dragon… provided that MC still wants to be rescued by the time the guys reach the castle.
Really, in order for all of the love interests to spend time with MC and interact, perhaps Jack will be brought back with them somehow, like he found a loophole in the curse or a way to bind him to MC. That way, Jack can leave the forest, so long as it’s with MC, with the added bonus that he can’t stay too far away from his sunshine. It’d create something of a dynamic similar to the game, only in this case everyone can see Jack and learn that he’s an incredibly dangerous dragon that has the power to kill all of them if he so chooses. Not that he would ever! He’s MC’s best friend after all. He just wants to protect his sunshine.
Though chances are MC will want to hide the whole “dragon” thing if they decide to leave with Jack. Maybe coach him on how to better pass for a human. Best not to scare people, am I right?
Or this AU could just stick in the castle where MC chooses to either romance the dragon or flee the dragon. I know which one Alice is going to choose, regardless if they stay in the castle or go back to civilization.
On that note, let’s get to the part that I suspect you’ve all been really waiting for.
(S)laying the Dragon
With Jack being a mythical creature, that offers possibilities for a very kinky fun time. There’s his obvious features like his sharp teeth and claws, but there’s also those long pointy ears that are perfect for nibbling, and maybe offering a bit of emotional expression in the way they tilt. Then, of course, there’s the tail and wings, perfect to wrap around his sunshine. He’s got even more limbs to hold them close!
Now… dragon anatomy is pretty much whatever we want it to be. Bad Dragon has the name for a reason after all. Want dragons to have two dicks similar to snakes? Go for it. He could still have that while he’s in his “human” form too. In fact, with a belt that allows him to change his shape, he could alter himself in very fun ways. A funky fantasy dick with ridges and/or bumps? Perhaps some tentacles anybody?
I mean, Jack has been alone for a long, long time. He’s only had himself to entertain and experiment with. He might have some very kinky tricks that no one has ever tried before.
To be fair, the tail is probably prehensile, so it might be able to be used like a tentacle for sexy times. He might not even need a second dick to plug up all of MC’s holes at once.
Dragons tend to have long tongues, so french kissing Jack is going to be intense, especially if it’s forked too. Then of course there’s oral. Naturally, he’ll be careful with those sharp teeth of his. Well, unless MC is into something a little rougher. Jack doesn’t want to hurt his sunshine (humans are so fragile after all), but if they like a little pain, well, their good old pal Jack will oblige them!
In my personal fantasy headcanons, pointy ears and the base of wings and tails are sensitive erogenous zones. Nibble on Jack’s ears, please! Preen his wings and make him feel loved and cared for. Rub at the base of his tail, and he’ll get hard instantly.
The scales might be harder than armor, but they’re nice and smooth, and have a nice feel. Jack has some control on just how hard or soft his body is at a time due to the belt’s power. Unless otherwise requested, Jack is very gentle with his sunshine, worried about going too rough due to how easy it was for him to hurt others.
Of course… Jack is also so desperately lonely and horny. MC’s presence has been his only bright spot in so long, and he loves them so much. When they love him too… well, it was already so hard for him to hold himself back. It wouldn’t be that difficult to rile him up and make him start to lose control, struggling to hold back his power even as he tosses MC around and takes them.
Naturally, many of my personal sexy headcanons for Jack apply in this AU. This includes a breeding/seeding kink. It’s a bit more pronounced here. If MC has his child then they’ll never ever leave him after all, and they’ll be bound together forever and ever and ever. Even if a child is off the table, the act of breeding/seeding alone is enticing, making them beg him to take them and fill them up with his hot cum is something that he fantasizes about often.
Of course, Jack doesn’t simply want sex with MC, he wants to make love. They make him feel truly loved for the first time in forever. Did he ever feel so loved before? He wants to experience their love in every way he can, fill them up with it until he’s a part of them forever.
Jack won’t ever force his sunshine, no matter how desperate he is for their love or to make love. He’ll go crazy with need, but always hold himself back if they need him to. As long as they love him, he can take care of himself sexually like he always has. He’s just been so empty, alone, and unloved for so long. MC fills them up with love in a way that he can’t live without anymore.
Naturally, when the pair do start making love, Jack can’t get enough, and his stamina is insane. MC is without a doubt going to be the one passing out first after they’ve been fucked senseless with Jack thrusting inside them, babbling how much he loves them and how good they make him feel. The more they go on, the more feral for their love Jack becomes. He’s needed his sunshine so, so badly, and now that he has them and their love, he can’t live without them anymore.
Of course, with a dragon AU and a shapeshifting ability, you can get really creative. For one thing there’s his full dragon form, which would be a giant compared to MC. Size difference anyone? Plus the exact details of how Jack looks in his dragon form could offer interesting possibilities of its own.
Then of course there’s even more furry-related kinks like oviposition or stuff like that. It's not for me personally, but I can imagine Jack would be open to experimentation and indulging in MC’s kinks, even the more outrageous ones. After all, it’s all just more ways to show just how much he loves his sunshine~
You best believe Jack has a predplay kink in this universe. He can smell MC and track them down easily. If that doesn’t work, there’s all sorts of magic he’s learned over the years that can do the trick. Of course he doesn’t want to scare MC, but when it’s good fun, it can lead to a delightfully spicy time~
While I’m on the topic of Jack smelling MC, he is addicted to their scent. The smell of their pheromones easily riles him up, practically sending him into rut like an alpha from Omegaverse!
Naturally, since Jack is a dragon, he has a horde. The castle was loaded with treasure, and it is pretty and shiny. It looks nice all piled together, maybe even neatly decorated. No doubt he’ll want to make love to his sunshine atop a pile of shiny gold coins and jewels, though he’ll make sure that he’s on the bottom so they don’t get jabbed by the hard edges… unless they’d like that, of course.
Of course, the true treasure Jack is hoarding in his lair would be MC. Gold and jewels are nice, but they don’t hold a candle to the love of his sunshine~
Wow. I think this is the longest headcanon post I’ve ever made while sticking with neutral MCs for the most part. I think I’m long overdue to shamelessly self-indulge with my OTP. Let’s see how Alice’s choices will affect this AU and how events unfold, shall we?
Lady Alice of House Rose
Naturally, Alice can’t have the surname of King in a setting like this, so I’m going to use her middle name as the house name.
Fun fact, Rose is the middle name for Barbie and Coraline too!
Yes, that means Barbie’s full name is Barbara Anne Rose King.
Yes. Yes, that pun was indeed intentional.
No, I will not apologize. Her name was picked to be a pun in the first place after all. ;3
Anyway, back to Alice. Being the eldest child, she has the responsibility to elevate the status of her household. Not only are they barely nobility, but their finances aren’t in the best shape. She needs money to help her family, and the honor of being a knight in hopes of gaining a better title.
It’s a shame that the queen doesn’t care for Alice and she’s been stuck as a squire way longer than is reasonable.
Alice knew that it would be impossible for her to marry a prince like Ian, no matter how kind he was, or how close they were. She couldn’t avoid falling for him though. It made her more determined to earn a better title, to make something of herself and earn acclaim. Maybe if she became the greatest knight in the kingdom, maybe she can prove herself worthy of royal consort and be with Ian as his wife one day.
Alice busted her ass trying to be a knight despite all the rough training and being forced to work menial, often degrading tasks as a squire. The weapons she specializes in are the bow and magic, combining the two to devastating effect. She’s also very good at keeping quiet and being stealthy.
In this universe, Alice never had sex with Ian. Although this fantasy setting is more open about sex before marriage, the gap between her and Ian was so wide, she didn’t want to risk doing anything that might ruin their chances of being together. That’s why finding out he cheated broke her heart, regardless of them being physically intimate together. Worse, his outburst when he begged her for forgiveness made it sound like they had been sleeping together to those who overheard, and the rumors were very unkind to the two of them, Alice especially.
Ian cheating proved to Alice that she was only fooling herself that they could be together. Their worlds were too far apart. Ian was to be king someday and she… well, maybe she’ll reach the title of Baroness. Though Ian begged for forgiveness, and Alice gave it to him, she couldn’t go back to the way they were. Advice from Shaun and others helped her see that it was best for everyone involved that she simply remain as the loyal (future) knight and Prince Ian as only her liege.
Let’s skip ahead to the mission to catch the thief in the dark woods. Alice’s best means of combat is the stealth kill. She sneaks quietly, sets up magic traps, fires arrows when the enemy is unaware, and in general takes her time to take her enemy at her own advantage. She actually works pretty well as a solo fighter due to being so stealthy. Though she is good at hand to hand combat if need be, she prefers to strike before her enemy realizes she’s there, and she’s amazing at her skills. Why, if she put her mind to it, she could be a skilled assassin. (Or in another world, a sniper.)
The horde of monsters the thief set off to charge after Alice was almost her undoing. By the time she fell into the catacombs, she passed out from exhaustion, having drained her mana dry. She might have been doomed if a monster came upon her then, but fortunately the master of the dark woods found her in time.
Alice was pretty darn shocked to wake up in a surprisingly fluffy bed, with her armor removed. Not all of it fortunately. She had her modesty protected and her softer clothes still on, but the uncomfortable hard outer plates were removed so that she could sleep peacefully. Jack was apologetic about removing any part of her clothes without asking, even blushing about it, but he didn’t want her to be uncomfortable while she recovered.
Needless to say, Alice is wary of Jack at first, but he did save her life. She does piece together that he’s the dragon pretty quickly and is naturally wary, deciding that the best course of action is to rest up, heal, and carefully get information from the legendary master of the dark woods.
The rumors and legends are so varied, it’s hard to know what exactly is the truth. The dragon of the dark woods doesn’t even have a name, and some of the tales are clearly exaggerations. Since Jack is showing himself to be surprisingly friendly, and he saved Alice from certain death, she decided to trust him… at least enough to remain civil and learn more about him, the castle, and the dark woods.
After asking many questions and getting as much information as Jack can give her (though much of it is confusing due to how rusty he is with socializing), Alice agrees to help him find a way to break his curse. She’s taking a risk, but if she leaves the castle on her own, she’ll die. If she stays, she can keep an eye on Jack to see if he’s really as good and gentle as he presents himself to be. If she has to, she’ll find a way to escape without him if she gets the sense that he’s using her to escape the forest in order to conquer the world or something.
Being very good at sneaking, Alice does slip away to search around the castle for answers on her own as much as possible. However, Jack can’t stand the idea of losing track of her, and all it took was one time of losing track of her for him to leave a magic tracker on her discreetly so he can find her wherever she goes - for her own safety of course! He can’t stand to be far from her. He has to give her time to herself, since if he leaves her with no privacy she won’t trust him, but it’s so hard to stay away. He’s so lonely.
At first Jack’s feelings for Alice are platonic, just a lonely man in desperate need of friendship, but over the time they spend together, getting to know one another, he falls in love and falls hard. Alice, naturally, takes much longer to fall after her relationship with Ian fell apart. At first, Jack is someone she can’t quite trust because he’s a stranger, then she is cautious because he’s a powerful dragon with many unflattering legends about the monster that he is, then it’s concern for the power imbalance between them… but eventually she sees that he’s just a lonely, sweet dork who just wants a friend.
Of course, Alice won’t realize he wants much more than friendship until later. Jack doesn’t want to scare her away after all.
I don’t think Shaun, Nick, and Ian are just going to sit back and wait long to try and find her, but I want to give Alice and Jack plenty of alone time, so I’m going to go with the idea that when humans come deep into the heart of the woods, at first Jack is excited. More friends! Then he becomes fearful when he realizes they’re looking for Alice. They want to take his sunshine away. She’ll leave him, forever!
Well, that won’t do. Jack doesn’t want to hurt them, but he can just make it difficult to find the castle. Maybe use the power of the cursed land to rearrange the forest when the search party isn’t looking, mix them up so that they find themselves suddenly outside the woods. Jack might not be able to leave due to the curse, but he’s not known as master of the dark woods for nothing. He can wield the golden cuffs’ power however he likes, just he can never leave.
Jack just needs to divert them long enough that they give up and leave, or he can find a way to escape with his sunshine’s help. Alice knows many interesting spells, being very creative with magic in ways that he never thought of before, and she knows of things that he doesn’t due to coming from outside the woods. With her help, he is able to figure out a way to free himself from his imprisonment… provided that he remains close to his sunshine. It’s more of a change in the curse than an actual cure for it, but it’s a vast improvement! He can leave the dark woods! Finally! At long last! He can converse with more people! He can make friends! He won’t have to be left alone and forgotten in the dark anymore!
Of course, Alice helps Jack prepare to be around people by helping him refine his “human” form. People aren’t going to understand that the deadly dragon of the dark woods is really just a sweet marshmallow, practically a giant cuddly puppy in human-ish form! When Jack can master looking properly human, they can come up with a cover story that he was a wanderer that found her lost in the woods and helped her until she could get back home. It’s not a lie technically. He used to be a wanderer after all, and everything else is true. He’s been nothing but helpful to his sunshine~
So Alice has to hide the secret of her new dragon friend, who has made it his mission to win her heart. Jack is willing to wait for her to be ready to love him the way that he loves her, even if the wait drives him crazy, but he’s very territorial, not liking the way the other guys look at her. However, Alice does notice his more possessive behaviors even as he tries to remain subtle about them, and she makes sure to keep her new “pet” dragon on a tight leash. Jack is fine with that so long as it means he’ll stay close to his sunshine.
I’m going to say that the change to the curse to bind them together does cause an empathy connection because I really love empath magic. Plus, allowing the pair to feel each other’s emotions and even pleasure and pain is very intimate. When Alice realizes they now can sense each other’s pain as a result of what she did, Jack makes it clear that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe so that she won’t have to experience any pain. He’ll promises to protect her for the rest of his life.
Of course, such a declaration leaves Alice feeling rather flustered. ;3
Overall, it is a bit more of a slow burn than Sunshine in Hell, but eventually the two of them fall in love, much to the dismay of the rest of the male leads.
Naturally love will overcome the curse, because I am an absolute sucker for happy endings. Jack and Alice will find a way to break the curse and remain together so they can live happily ever after. And make love like rabbits hopped up on viagra.
No, I won’t apologize for that pun either.
It won’t come too easily, of course. There’s plenty of people who aren’t going to be keen to immediately trust Jack, and not just the male leads. He came from out of nowhere, with no known background. Alice’s family is certainly going to be concerned by the stranger that waltzed into her life after her heart was already broken by Ian, especially since by the time they meet Jack, she’s already shown signs of crushing on him. The family is going to need to make sure that this new guy is worth potential heartbreak.
Then of course there’s the whole political aspect of things. This country used to be the very kingdom that Joseph was chased out of many, many years ago. The lost prince is a story that could be uncovered to potentially explosive results.
Why, if Jack had the mind to, he could take back the throne and rule the kingdom that once chased him away… with his sunshine ruling by his side after all.
Will that happen with Alice? Maybe. Maybe she’ll actually become a queen after all, or maybe she’ll just live a simple life with Jack who doesn’t let on that he’s powerful enough to level the whole kingdom. After all, all he truly wants is to be loved, and Alice is sure to give Jack all the love he could ever ask for.
Perhaps that love will wind up with a lot of adorable half-dragon babies running around. Though they could be fully human if Jack does become a human after the curse breaks. I kind of like the idea that Jack is freed of the curse, but he is still a powerful dragon and can still use the belt to have fun with his shape. Plus baby dragons are the cutest and the idea of Jack and Alice’s kids being little dragons with tiny wings and cute pointy ears heals my soul.
…Holy crap this ramble went on for 26 pages. That’s over 11,000 words according to google doc! This must be my longest ramble yet, and that’s saying something! Well, I suppose that’s what happens when a dragon lover makes a dragon AU, haha. Fantasy has always been my jam, and I love playing with magical elements.
Anyway, I’m going to take that as a cue to wrap things up here for now. Let me know what you think about this AU and if you want to hear more about anything in particular. Also, let me know if this post inspires you to create anything of your own and please share it with me! I love it that we can inspire one another to create in this fandom, just like Mars’ lovely art inspired me. I hope I’ve given you a few new fun ideas to play with. Thanks for reading this far!
@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur
#Sunny Day Jack#Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack#SunnyDayJack#sdj#swwsdj#Headcanon Ramblings#Fantasy AU#Dragon AU
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when you listen to the rhrn album can you please give your thoughts about like the mixing? Live albums typically don’t always have the greatest mixing but this one like confuses me
alright anon, I'm using your ask to make my official HYP TALKS RHRN SOUNDTRACK post
tag list: @devilsandstarlight @jazz-bazz @skele-bunny @azureseacloud @lilhoechlinsbae @delusionalbitchinthehouse @fallen-iii-ghost
A disclaimer, any negative-leaning take is not hate or "I would've done a better job" (because I would not), it's only my opinion that I was asked for multiple times due to what I do here on tumblr
Okay so I can divide the tracks in two categories when it comes to mixing and all that stuff:
1. Awesome mixing – more depth, better instrumental and vocal balance – Spillways – Cirice – Call Me Little Sunshine – Twenties – Marry On A Cross – Kiss The Go-Goat – Dance Macabre – Square Hammer
2. Less fortunate mixing – some flatness and chunkiness, less balance – Kaisarion – Rats – Faith – Absolution – Watcher In The Sky – Rats – Miasma – Respite On The Spitalfields
I’m not putting If You Have Ghosts into any of these categories because it’s a different world entirely. It’s actually just brilliant, but it’s not as hard to find balance with so few and such instruments as with the other songs on the album. I think Copia is a little too sharp for this vibe and I'm pretty sure they tried to help with reverb. It was a nice touch, but I think it could’ve been more smoothed out. But also I kinda hear Terzo in the second half of it, not Copia, SORRY. The vocal ghoulette could’ve been put either fully on the middle or all stretched all around to surround Copia and the instrumental and fill the space, if that makes sense
In general the mixing is strange in some places, even in the better made songs, it’s just like they lose the plot sometimes. It's possible (and very likely) that it was prepared with vinyls or CDs in mind, not headphones, but that doesn't explain why sometimes it's better and sometimes worse. Some general stuff about mixing I picked out:
1. Dew isn't really on the right, he's more to the middle than Aeon who's totally to the left. Dew could be louder actually in some places, Aeon could be stretched more to the middle 2. Bass has a great definition, we can finally hear how nice some fillers are and how good Rain actually is 3. The girls got some very much deserved highlights, but they did Swiss dirty. I’m outraged for my bbg, but not only because I love him. It would be a genuinely better technical decision if he was louder and/or placed somewhere else. The entire thing is very off balance. It's lead guitar and strong female vocals on the right, and rhythm and basically nothing (Swiss) on the left. It just doesn't make any sense!!!
Now some stuff about specific songs:
1. Rats – So dirty, the mixing failed a little here, the audience just sounds like noise instead of actual good background – DEW DID A PINCH HARMONIC (I manifested it) – Cirrus!!! It’s hard to hear her most of the time and she rocks here – Aeon and Dew had a very good harmony, they work so good together wtf (sorry Aether but they win here)
2. Faith – Aurora and Cumulus completely slay – I adore Dewdrop’s little addition to the 1st solo – But he missed a note in the 2nd solo heh
3. Spillways – FINALLY Swiss in Spillways – It’s the best mixed song in general and I’m not only saying that because of Swiss (who I love), all the instruments and voices are balanced so much better and so much more fluid – There’s less tone definition on bass though
4. Cirice – Dew does some fancy lil harmonic tricks in Cirice, I LIKE – It’s also very well balanced when it comes to instrument, SWISS IS AUDIBLE – Something went WRONG with Cirrus’ synth here, like omfg they did my girl dirty
5. Absolution – I talked about Absolution extensively here
6. Watcher In The Sky – Love the synth on it, why not do that setup for Cirice pls – But also Swiss is always the loudest at the beginning, why not here!? – It’s on the worse list, but it’s not horrible, the backing synths fill it nicely so it’s not as chunky as Rats for example – I think someone forgor Dew is lead, not Aeon, but at least we can appreciate the bug’s skill some more like that – Mounty slamming those bitches at the end, go baby!
7. Twenties – Very glad they highlighted the drums and the bass so much in this one, it’s what Twenties is FOR – Both Dew and Aeon’s palm muting game is so yummy here – Oh, Swiss how I love you – But what are they doing with the solo mixing, why is the bitch moving at the beginning? It’s like someone was late to press some buttons (It might have been on purpose but trying to do some fancy effects doesn’t always work)
8. Miasma – Miasma lands somewhere between the worse and better mixing category but that might be the lack of vocals which takes away some of the needed balance, but it is rather chunky – I don’t like the synths shoved totally into my left ear but that’s just me, not an actual flaw – But then what are they doing at c. 3 minutes??? Again, more fancy doesn’t always mean better and Miasma is fancy and full enough as it is – I think the mixing in Miasma changes from worse to better along the way because the ending is so much better and smoother, around when the sax comes in so they might’ve adjusted some things just to fit it – OMG RAINY GO FANCY AT THE END (the tiniest solo ever <3)
9. Mary On A Cross – Cumulus oh my fuckckk – The vocals before the chorus is such a good touch, nice ascend into the change in melody, love it – Same with Aurora’s solo part the next time, it’s so good that they put her on the middle for that, it’s perfect – The girls do slay the end but Swiss could balance it nicely if only he were just a tiny bit loudeeeeer – And again what are wed doing with these weirdly sustained layered synths??? That’s just slightly unnecessary
10. Respite On The Spitalfields – Swiss should be louder here, too – Respite is in the slightly worse category because this one sounds very flat to me for most part, it’s like only the drums and bass give any depth (or rather force some depth into it) – Once again Aeon’s palm muting is top tier – Girls slaying as usual – I’m not sure why the strings are just forcefully shoved behind Dew but okay… – The mixing here is a crime!!! It’s so flat and this is a song that deserves to be all around and fully immerse you. I’m actually sad about that one – And where are the solo vocal parts???
11. Kiss The Go-Goat – Now why is KTGG deeper and more melodic than Respite??? We’ll never know ig, but yeah, it’s on the better category – Did Nihil fucking mix this album or what??? – Cirrus’ solo in KTGG should be as loud as Dew’s, period
12. Dance Macabre – Dance Macabre is on the better category too, you can even hear Swiss – Glorious bass here
13. Square Hammer – Now Squammer, very good mixing for the finish but I still think that the girls should be more to the middle and wider, especially in backing vocal heavy tracks like this one – YES Dew bestie go ham on it at the end, slay, make your tech angry – OHHHH AEON’S THING UGHGFHNGHGHHG (he was probably wobbling his pickup switch with one of them turned off so it was basically sound on–off–on–off)
Also not really from the technical side but they cut out some strong tracks and it's honestly a big shame :(
Some gear stuff nobody will hear but me (/hj): 1. Rain definitely still has steel strings ‘cause COME ON, the TONE!!! 2. Aeon’s palm muting skills rock 3. The difference between Aeon’s ceramic humbuckers on the Fantomen and Dewdrop’s Hot Rail single coils is on the Strat so prominent AHHH 4. Aeon missed on the CMLS solo a little but Dew covered him up hjfgsdh 5. Slightly funny addition, but I love that Aurora’s voice and Dewdrop’s guitar can be mistaken for one another sometimes because of the tone and pitch lmfao
And that's it heh I'll gladly elaborate on some aspects or answer any questions that might come up so you know, my askbox and dms are open :3
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hi rook sorrgy I'm back but I've been thinking about your akeshu as girls genderfuckery tweet for 20 million years. idk if you can share anything in good faith here on the Tumblr corner of the internet (if not then by all means ignore this) but if you did I'd owe you perhaps my entire soul!! thank you very much either way :3
i would LOVE to talk about this thank you so much for asking
[under the cut in case anyone would not like to see genderfuckery stuff]
okay so first of all.
on the topic of boobs
this is important to lead with do you understand. most of the akeshu as girls stuff ive seen around has akc as flat-chested and ren as boobed. and that's valid i support that. but personally. personally to me. i think it's the opposite. tbe reason (well one reason) i think it's the opposite is because i think girlren is a little rat of a creature and akechi who is prim and feminine and perfect is so FUCKING angry about her crush on ren like she's barely surviving it and then this is the nail in the coffin. she's like why can't i stop thinking about that messy unassuming thing. she doesn't even have boobs
my other reasons for tihs are that i think joker is more androgynous charm while akechi is more feminine/masculine duality i think this makes sense to nobody else. i think ren regardless of agab is riding the rail of the gender spectrum 🛹 while akc is collecting extremes of gender presentation like they're pokemon do you understand. are we on the same page here. ren being into drag is important to me for this reason (again regardless of agab). meanwhile akechi having very clear feminine secondary sex characteristics but presenting gradually more and more masculine in terms of clothing/hair/personal style etc. is also extremely important to me. and that includes being biog of tity while her style veers more and more into masc as time goes on
ok
the detective prince
i think girl akechi (at 17-18) presents very femininely because it's what's effective for her. i would call her style................... kawaii corporate chic. does that make sense for everyone. it's like schoolgirl girlboss. she has a bow instead of a tie but it's a very classy one not a kitschy one. smart blazer, uniform pleated skirt, patent leather shoes, u know the drill BUT. people still call her the detective prince. this is VERY IMPORTANT to me. no detective princess. only detective prince. do you understand the importance of the genderfuckery of a super feminine girl being called by masculine terms. to me. we're continuing the legacy set by my hero naoto shirogane bigender queeng. bigender kin. bigender genderneutral non-monarchical ruler
i think by third sem girl akechi is starting to dress more androgynously/masculinely. more pants. i think her third sem outfit is unchanged from canon. just a smart coat, sweater, buttondown, slacks. postcanon she gets a haircut.
just trying to live an honest student life
ren is like so fundamentallyuncomfortable with the fact of his existence at the beginning of canon so to me girlren is like... she dresses like she's trying to hide in her clothes. messy hair. i have no strong feelings about whetehr her hair should be long or short, or whether it's loose or pulled into a tail, but i know it's messsy. untamed curls. and she uses it to hide her face. none of her clothes fit. she's in oversized everything. i have a very clear image in my head of a ren idle animation where she leans down to pull up her leggings because they keep falling down. she also has terrible posture. she's androgynous at this stage not on purpose but because she's too self conscious to like... exist... and present... in any notable way at all
i think as she gets more confident and as the year progresses she starts to dress more distinctively. i like the idea of her getting more comfortable prettying up. maybe working at crossroads helps her with this 🤔 i dont know how to explain this but i think she's still feminine in a gentlemanly chivalrous way rather than a girly cute way. girlren has that same steady calming vibe that guy ren does
joker & crow
crow has a magical girl skirt. i have a drawing of this but im too self conscious about my own lack of drawing skill to show it off so i cropped out the key part and put it into an ms paint void in the distance as my visual aid
there. i hope this is illustrative
i think given girl akechi's use of her feminine charms to gain popularity, her hero complex would be similarly gendered given we have confirmation that robin hood represents not (only) heroics for altruistic reasons but also the theatre of being seen doing good. there's a real drama element to the idea of a magical girl transformation that i honestly wish we got for male crow too. i always am depressed that we don't get to see much theatre for akechi's initial appearance as crow and summoning of robin hood, anyway, girlcrow has ribbons and a capelet that flap in non-existent wind.
black mask's outfit is unchanged from canon. i'd like it to look a little less stupid but that has nothing to do with gender i just want it to look a little less stupid.
joker's outfit is also unchanged from canon. listen. im back on my bullshit. in the metaverse her behaviour gets more feminine and more sly and confident than in reality. she's got that femme fatale shit going on. however, she is still a gentleman thief. she has the long coat. she has the poofy trousers. she has the waistcoat. she's still smirking and fixing her gloves and flipping her knife and doing that thing that canon ren does where he lifts his chin and does the little "come on" thing with her fingers. do you understand? do you understand me
#rookposting#if only i could draw. all i can do is word vomit about my vision.#bumper sticker that says please ask me about the akeshugirlies who live in my brain#please take care and don't peek if you're not into genderbendy type stuff! i know it's not for everyone#for me personally as a nonbinary/bigender person it's very affirming. but i understand for other nonbinary and trans people#that may not be the case and it may not be your thing so pls scroll accordingly!#much love. we all experience gender differently#i dont want to put all my wordvomit in the p5 tag but im also conscious of how many personal tags im making now#but i still need to be able to. find things on my own blog#what can a gal do...#rookthots
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a collective shifting reading.
hi guys :) if you’re seeing this on tumblr that means you’re getting this three hours early but 7.10 is the anemoiashifts tiktok accounts first birthday 🎂🤍 !
i wanted to do something special & originally i wanted to talk about the first time — and only time — that i have shifted but i don’t think im ready to share something that personal to hundreds of strangers on the internet. then, i was going to do a q&a but i thought that would be a little lazy, then i thought about going live & doing live shifting readings on tiktok but im a pretty shy person so that idea went out the window as quickly as it came. so i hope this video will do :) !
this is a collective shifting reading for all of my followers or anyone who comes across this. this reading is going to be a little longer then my previous ones because i want to provide as much clarity as i can to try & help you guys ⊹ ₊ ⟡ ⋆
who this is for ₊˚ෆ
this reading is for everyone who has shown me support within the past year or decided to stick around for whatever reason; even if this video magically stumbles upon your path. but here are some specifics that ive picked up on:
star or heart shaped jewelry (rings, bracelets, necklaces, etc.) specially, silver jewelry or silver in general. maybe you’re someone who doesn’t take well to criticism. if you have a connection to foxes, mice / rats or house cats. shiny & holographic clothing. soft makeup shades (baby pink, nudes, baby blue).
reading ₊˚ෆ
your biggest “blockade” is your over commitment to your desired reality & shifting as a whole. there needs to be balance or you are pouting yourself at risk for losing your sense of self & going into a downwards spiral. your relationship with shifting is filled with limerence instead of taking control of your life & looking at your life (here or in your dr) long term. you may have multiple dr’s which only fuel that fascination with shifting as a concept. you want to experience so many different things, but you can’t do everything all at once. you have made too many commitments at once. to provide that clarity to yourself, focus on one place at a time. the reason you are so disconnected to your dr is because you’re trying to simultaneously connect with the ten others that you have in that works.
you already understand what doesn’t serve you, doesn’t serve you. weather that be patterns or methods or mindset. you have already let go of them. you don’t need to rehash what you already know. while nostalgic, the era of 2020 / 2021 shiftok has ended & looking back on the past is pointless. because of this looking back to this era with such a yearning to re-spark that initial excitement that you had when the idea of shifting was shown to you, it can quickly become a distraction; reminiscing instead of reigniting.
if you feel stuck, it’s because you feel directionless in your shifting journey. you have so many ideas & so much you want to do but feel lost at sea. you are struggling yo see progress or success. without looking back on what no longer serves you, go back to what you want to get out of shifting. to get out of this never ending cycle, you need to take responsibility for yourself & journey. you also need to recognize the power you already hold. nothing separates a “successful” shifter from a non successful shifter other then how you personally choose to define it. this could be a reflection of your lack of self confidence & be a sign to honoring yourself. how your view yourself, dictates your relationships with other people & how you show up in the world. you could be repressing traumas & emotions & trying to put a band aid over them though shifting. if you feel shame or stupid for putting in energy to reality shift, don't. if it brings you joy then know anything that brings you happiness is worth it & never a waste.
thank you for reading & i hope this resonated with you & you were able to maybe see your journey in a new light or get some clarity. i love you so very much !! ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -。꒱ྀ !!
#desired reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shiftok#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifter#reality shifter
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A tale of two brands
Sophie Mancini's Departures paper on S in NY started a flurry of comments even before the whole content was made available on blogs. That people - mostly in Mordor - jumped in to add their two booing cents on the matter, based on two or three Instagram Story screencaps only, is a testimony to Tumblr's community deep interest in S's slightest PR/sales move and the easiness with which people like *urv managed to push their own agenda, in the process, to her unsuspecting, bicep-loving crowd.
Many of these comments asked just one question, more or less kindly and more or less openly: who are you, Sam Roland Heughan? Some of them, more along my alley, took a different angle: who are you talking to, Sam Roland Heughan?
Let me count the US crowds: the Wall Street yuppie crowd? the old money, WASP Knickerbocker / Colony Club crowd? Tribeca's sophisticated, culture-ish snob crowd? the UN international crowd? the laid-back (-ish) brownstone Brooklyn crowd? the DC politico types? the Boston Brahmin crowd? the Silicon Valley Bitcoin crowd? the Florida Latino crowd? the Bible Belt crowd? the Deep South charmingly old-fashioned crowd? the yee-haw, witty and ambitious Texans? the gourmet, nature-loving Seattle crowd? I am sure I am missing some (it's been a while I haven't traveled to the States and I have to say I miss all 50 of them, plus and perhaps above all my beloved DC :), but you get the idea. And the problem, or rather its first layer.
The second question this very poorly written article prompted is: what are you talking about, Sam Roland Heughan? I mean, what destination are you trying to promote? Scotland, through your Scottish gin, which I truly believe is exceptional? The Big Apple, like a counterpart to Sting, you know - a Scotsman in New York? That's not very clear, since that superficial girl just whirled you to a couple Chinatown speakeasies, rat pitter-patter included (bye-bye, Knickerbocker crowd right there) and that's pretty much it. New Zealand, that you mention at length, Maori tattoo story re-hashed, just because the book comes out next Tuesday? Ha-wa-wee, perhaps in a belated attempt to mitigate Tunagate? California, even, because it takes you back to humble beginnings? Granted, the Frisco one, not LA: that would be a horrible faux-pas, in a NY centered paper, much like me whimsically and idiotically mentioning Istanbul (instead of Constantinople), in a conversation with my Greek friends.
My head spins. And then let's add to that a ladle of recycled talking points, yours and C's altogether, like this gem:
Aspirational. Mmmhm. She said that. You said that. Multiple times, in multiple contexts that probably didn't even call for it. This is *** PR right there. I am not JAMMF. I am not Claire. But we aspire to that. Stop thinking we are these characters. No sane fan ever did: the insistence is unnecessary and has a real backfire potential. Stop thinking, period. But let it be my shipper sin, then, not to believe an iota of it and stubbornly think you people are, by now, way past the aspirational stage.
So, I took a long walk down memory lane today, while driving, trying to understand what the hell your personal brand is. Once upon a time, things were clear: you and C were a single brand. S&C - the fresh-faced, candid, witty and funny and oh, so in love new kids on the block. The spark was real and it was strong (it still is, only dampened and muted by PR-prompted shenanigans) and OL's audience was under its spell. People loved you, both of you, and some of us still do. You showed us as much as you could and for a while, it seemed to be convenient for just about everybody. That created expectations, but at the same time, you could have sold us land concessions on the Moon and we would have bought them, no questions asked.
And then, things happened. We know what: IFH, EFH, Remarkable Week-end. The spell was broken for many, who left in droves. Fans turned into bashing other fans. The S&C brand was progressively compromised and along with it, your Barbour Ambassadorship (for different reasons). Let's stop a bit at this point, in fond remembrance: that was the perfect pitch, for the perfect kind of corporate brand, for the perfect niche, for the perfect guy. A guy who had a credible, authentic story to tell, with a really strong potential to attract people outside of OL's crowd. Image and message perfectly aligned. Best case scenario.
So, with ***'s and your own PR benediction, what once was your solid gold starting point was ridiculed, trampled, shot to shambles, in a (failed) attempt to be sent to complete oblivion. You then had to think of something and try to branch out of both the blessing and curse of it.
MPC suddenly became more important than just any other charity project, of which there were a few (Cahonas Scotland comes to mind, the blood cancer one, as well). Cue in Sam the Athlete, Sam the Healthy Living Evangelist. The project was turned into a lucrative business, with a strong charity side. People bought subscriptions, people changed their eating and lifestyle habits, people lost weight - but really, I shouldn't write 'people', but 'women'. This was a women-oriented endeavor. A problem, again, on the long term.
Ha-wa-wee 1 happened, to more scandal and shrieks (that, I believe, was the reason you lost the Barbour project, another gold opportunity squandered because ten Internet bitches knew better). Then we were told another avatar was born: Sam the Entrepreneur. With a genuine, carefully curated, labor of love first alcohol product that clearly used the discarded S&C brand: The Sassenach and believe what you want, but just buy it. Mommies obliged. Antis obliged. Shippers obliged. All wallets are created equal, as I (often) use to say. And then COVID-19 came, putting a very real, very dangerous logistic strain on it.
Yet, you still had to somehow mitigate delays and losses. The Sassenach went exotic, with that limited edition tequila that probably won't be remembered by many outside OL's fandom, and that is a pity and a shame. The reason it won't be remembered is that you almost did not promote it, spare one or two Tick-Tock and Instagram clips. Does that justify the investment, the trips to Mexico, the very expensive retainers and commissions your tequila friends took for their trouble? I very much doubt it. That was, until being proved completely wrong, a flop. It brought absolutely nothing in terms of personal branding, spare perhaps a new faction in this paranoid cesspool of a fandom: the Gay Crowd, fueled by the image of a Lonely Bandana Cowboy, instead of the intended Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur. Yes, people are stupid, like that. Your PR and Sales team, too - and this comes from a place of deep understanding and appreciation.
We are now talking gin and boy, am I glad we do! This is perhaps an opportunity. Finally, a more democratically price-tagged, carefully tailored (again) drawing card product. But who is selling it to me? The California Boat Party Host? In that case, I won't buy it, but never mind me: maybe the fun-loving California Millennials would (we know the Smuggling Mommies would do it, anyways). The Sophisticated Traveler and Connoisseur you tried to show us again in Mancini's abysmal Departures paper and who is invited to important events, in recognition of his efforts?
You can't have the two of them, Sam, whatever those incompetents told you. You're either a 43-years old midlife crisis-stricken and shirtless clown or an Old World Industrious Thespian, with a stature and a status to match. A real Entrepreneur, not a cartoon scuba diver/beach boy Influencer. Eye Candy vs. Brain Power: after all, you are a '3x NYT best selling author', aren't you? Your pick, not mine. Stop the Sri Mataji-style Hugging and Booze tours: it's nonsense and that geriatric crowd is nowhere near what you need to make your dream come true. Do some real soul searching and stop listening to clueless 28-year old journalists, who tell you tacky rings are fun: they aren't. They make you look like an ageing Atlantic City Sinatra wannabe:
Sam Roland Heughan: currently at crossroads, trying to not choose between two opposite personal brands. Tricky position and an even trickier context, with the strike still lingering on and the pressing need to find an after OL strategy.
I promised you a tale of two brands and I think you wonder, by now, what happened to C, the other half of the primary SC brand?
The answer is, I honestly believe, not much. She has no personal brand, so to speak. Until now, she is just an Enthusiastic Dilettante. Book Club - started, unfinished and with that, farewell to any fan engagement. Cinema production rights - bought and then silence. Botanical Gin - first batch released (?) with no promo, no interviews (mentioning it in a podcast does not count), no reviews. Then teasing, then crickets again: a bit late, now, for the end of year celebrations. And I have to say I miss her or the part of her I never witnessed in real time (is such a thing possible?). I miss that starry-eyed, funny and witty girl. That girl was somehow completely swallowed by an Acrid Matron, who thought it was intelligent to yell at an Internet nobody, on Christmas Day, 'I am not married to Sam!' (ok, you aren't, but you're still lying). And I honestly don't know which one is best (or worst, for that matter): try to build something and make mistakes and try again until you hopefully find your way, or say nothing, do nothing and of course, never be controversial.
Now I am really interested to see how is she going to promote her gin. But you know what, I am not holding my breath, for some reason.
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𝐀 𝐒𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲
𝙆𝙞𝙮𝙤𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙞 𝙆𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙪 𝙔𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙤𝙣𝙨 (𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙩 2.)
Warnings; yandere behavior, bad writing, stalking, creepy letters, misogyny, pushy behavior, me rambling, groping, touchy behavior, reader is a girl, not proofread, Tumblr's a bitch btw :/ If I missed anything, then please let me know ♡ I'm fully aware that nobody wanted this (I see all of you in my inbox, I'm getting to you, trust), but this little rat has been stuck in my mind. Ngl I have a love-hate relationship with Kiyosumi, but it's whatever. Enjoy :)
Okay, I don't like Kiyosumi. He's mean, brash, loud, arrogant, and doesn't think before he acts, overall there are no redeeming qualities to his personality. And I don't think he'd ever change for someone else, whether it be his master, Doppo, a lover, or a friend. He's stuck in his ways and doesn't want to see the world in any other way. And I just know that if I were to ever meet Kiyosumi (if he were real), we would absolutely loathe each other.
Everything about him genuinely pisses me off, and I can't imagine how anyone could enjoy his presence, so this is why I think Kiyosumi would be an absolute freak to have on your ass. There's no way any sane wo/man would ever consider being in a relationship with him unless they were being held hostage.
I believe that Kiyosumi would be a stalker, through and through. He doesn't have the charisma that Jun or Katsumi (though it's clumsy) have. He's rude and annoying, which is clear throughout the series, but this doesn't mean he doesn't have experience with women. He does, but he doesn't retain any of the information, his head is too stuck up his ass to recognize what works and what doesn't.
He doesn't know how to get a woman into his bed without paying her; he doesn't know how to get a girl to laugh, nor does he know how to get someone to like him. Even though he's an attractive man, he can't seem to get anyone to stay.
Kiyosumi is the butt of the joke, no matter who he's talking to. Everyone makes fun of him and sees him as a weak martial artist, leading him to use extreme measures to appease his own ego, seeing as no one else will. This is why he uses underhanded tactics while fighting, and I think this applies to his dating life. Now, this leads me to the type of girls Kiyosumi would pine after.
The first type is sweet, caring, and sensitive. She can't stand up for herself and flinches at the slight raise in tone. Overall, this type of girl is very insecure and usually sticks to herself or her very, very close circle (who she's likely known since she was a little girl).
If this matches you, then well aren't you lucky. Now you have Kiyosumi tracking your ass. He won't leave you alone, no matter how many times you whisper for him to back off, albeit politely. He takes every stutter, breaking off eye contact, and flushed cheeks as a sign that you're interested in him, not able to get it through his thick skull that you're uncomfortable.
With this type of reader, I see Kiyosumi being an abusive, manipulator who's taking advantage of someone who's smaller than him, both physically and mentally. Kiyosumi enjoys the control you give him, seeing as you don't demean him like everyone else. You're nice to him, though you shouldn't be. You're unnaturally giving, and at first, it makes him conscious, believing that you've got some trick up your sleeve.
Kiyosumi has genuinely never felt such kindness that he's developed major trust issues, which have formed into anger issues. He belives that he's being underappreciated in the martial arts, but you give him the recognition he's looking for. You don't say anything mean to him, if anything you're complimenting him (you're not)!
I feel horrible for this type of reader, far too much of a nervous wreck to say shit to Kiyosumi, letting his hands wander where they shouldn't be. You feel as if you're not in a place of power, in a high enough authority to say anything. Maybe if you just keep your mouth shut he'll leave you alone, right?
It's better to just ignore how his hand slowly creeps down, down, down, settling on your ass, cupping the fat, and squeezing; to ignore how his eyes linger on your cleavage, which you've covered as much as possible, not wanting any attention from Kiyosumi. Or how he wraps his arm around your shoulder, pressing his chest to your back, forcing you to feel ever muscle, the raw power they hold.
Though Kiyosumi is weak in the grand scheme of things; you don't know that, so he uses that to his advantage, forcing you into compromising situations. You're clearly not comfortable with his advantages, tugging on his hand when he caresses your waist, his sweaty hands practically leaving stains on your light sundress.
He chooses to ignore when you actively lean away from him, not wanting to catch a whiff of his alcohol-drenched breath, no gum can fix his rank breath. The grease colllecting in his onyx hair, made the gel shine a little too much.
Kiyosumi is just gross, and clearly not a ladies' man. Hell! You doubt that Kiyosumi has even interacted with a woman who isn't his mom! But you'd never tell him that, you don't think you'd survive the stare he'd give you seconds after. Living for others' approval has been your goal since you were a little girl, and seeing such a disapproving stare would break you.
But that's what Kiyosumi likes about you. You're just so soft, so nice, and sweet. You'd never undervalue him like all the other women do, like Doppo does. No, you wouldn't do that to him, you're far too kind for that (he acts like he knows you better than you know yourself).
Kiyosumi will try to pressure you into advancing your "relationship" at a rapid pace. At one moment, he's following you around work, trying to get your number and the next he's sleeping in your bed, hogging the blanket like an ass.
It makes your head spin and knees quake. Your life has spun upside down, no longer looking the same as just a few months ago. Kiyosumi has weaseled his way into your life, securing himself in your home like a leech.
Now he can make sure that no other man is getting even close to you. No, no, no you cannot even speak to other men. Kiyosumi wants your eyes on him, and only him. He's not letting you go, not after he's found the jackpot, you. You're the only person who's "appreciated" him on this level; you're like his sweet, little honeypot, that only he has. He doesn't want to share his new toy with the other boys, not when you're so damn cute.
UGH! He's literally the definition of an ICK. I hate him so much because, c'mon angel face, don't you know we're in this together? All you have to do is trust me, and let me take the reins, yeah? Just let me be the man. Now, just sit your cute ass down, and shut your mouth.
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