#i think this is like how part of addiction groups work you show everyone different permutations of each other

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

one path in fiction (and reality) to help a character with a problem address it is to force them to interact with an exaggerated, funhouse mirror version of themselves and let them come to their own conclusion how they don't wanna be that.

my guess is Aabria had no specific personality plan for Tabby, but that Tabby was going to funhouse mirror whatever the gang had going on. and everyone had beautiful communal motives but also like desperation to be a part of things and help everyone else, and that but squared equals the Tabby we got.

[lucky-punk-lemonade]

Picture You

| You visit a local art show in Hobie's universe, not knowing he contributed. Not knowing you contributed; [Webhead reader; Friends to ??; Feelings realization] Hobie Brown

This work belongs to me, lucky-punk-lemonade (Minte_Condition on AO3). I do not give anyone permission to distribute or share my work without consent.

 Hobie’s house always smelled vaguely different. For a few weeks there, it smelled of incense. Incense he had stolen, of course. When he ran out of that, it smelled like cigarette smoke because he’d let his friend crash there, trying to break the habit and get back on his feet. Various good and bad smells. Cookies after a baking hyper-fixation. Detergent from a “freak laundry accident” that Hobie swore was the downstairs neighbors conspiring against him. All of these mixed with a lethargic scent of cologne which seemed to blend well with everything. Once, it had even smelled like citrus and lavender. It didn't take long for me to squeeze out the fact Hobie had developed a crush, and he had deep cleaned his apartment to impress her.

       Today, though, it smelled like coffee. Hobie didn’t drink coffee, though. I drink coffee. I show up at his door with those little cups to put in the busted up Keurig his temporary roommate left behind. Everything in Hobie’s house was stolen, discovered, or borrowed. The coffee table (that he calls “Just Table” because he doesn’t drink coffee). The armchair he got from a friend’s sister’s ex boyfriend. His shitty vintage boombox and the tapes he plays. 

       It was often I showed up outside of his window, backpack full of treats or gifts in tow. I sit on his couch and drink from a chipped mug with “World’s Best Grandpa” painted on the side in colorful letters. He walks behind me, pacing and scrolling through his phone. I ignore the slow, inconsistent footsteps behind me and click through the various shows I've had in rotation. 

“Have you ever seen��The Princess Bride ?”

I don’t really expect an answer, and I don't get one. He’s busy, he usually is. Not usually on his phone, though, but who am I to step between a guy and his Candy Crush addiction? I sigh and put the remote down, deciding to head back to my universe for the night.

          Hobie was part of the group that took interest in me via the Spider Society. I didn’t go to HQ very often, no reason to. Until I had a run-in with a multi-dimensional creature that I had to report to Miguel. That’s when I met Pavitr. He was an incredibly bright force that inevitably offered an invitation to lunch with his friends. His friends I came to know well. Gwen was, by definition, a rebel. She did everything on purpose, usually with the intent to piss off her dad. Gwen was the epitome of teenage rebellion that was most times ill-advised. Miles was talented, he was always wondering. He was constantly thinking and creating new ideas. It was inspiring to hear his thoughts. Pavitr was a soothing presence, not audibly but he had the perfect vibes. A chance to listen to him was a chance to tune everything out because Pav’s existence required the utmost attention. 

              Hobie, when first approached, was intimidating. His demeanor remains nonchalant and tuned-out. He was covered in spikes and leather and patterns. He looked incredibly threatening, too cool. When he spoke, it almost sounded out of character. He was kind and welcoming, funny. All traits many Spider-Men had. This was the justification I had for how interested I was in him, his energy. He was just as attractive and charming as Pav or that one guy who I always saw in the lobby. 

I’ve been to their houses, I crash often. Gwen let me stay with her for almost a month once. In return, I help with Spider work and house chores to show my gratitude. I know what everyone’s room looks like, a main theme of band posters and scattered clothing. I don't visit Miles too often, he's got a lot of stress already. I stay above a convenient store owned by a family friend of Pav’s when I go to see him. Hobie has always let me stay at his place, though. I have made myself particularly comfortable in his shared flat that his roommate never seems to be in. I don’t ask questions, I just sleep on his couch. 

         I reflect on everything as I fold his blanket and set it on his couch. I pick up my bag and stuff my jacket into it. It’s warm enough , I think. I sit on the floor to lace up my shoes. Hobie acknowledges me before walking into his room, I nod back and finish tying my shoes. I walk to the sink with my cup of water to wash it. Sitting on the counter, slightly ripped and damp, is a flier.

        A seemingly homemade advertisement for a local art showing, raising money for the food bank. The food bank I remember Hobie telling me about. He had been protective of it ever since he discovered there was a prominent political figure who was more than adamant to take down the business. I remember Hobie being mad. I remember bringing him brownies and stopping by with a hefty donation to the food bank without Hobie knowing. I remember doing this often. I remember how kind the owners were, how I developed the same protective nature towards them. 

I read the flier more closely. An art show with an admission fee, local artists, local music, good cause. I was immediately interested. I walk to Hobie’s room, leaving the flier behind on the counter. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out.”

“Yeah, be safe.” He smiles and nods. “If you need anything, call.” 

        I smile back and wave goodbye, exiting the room and grabbing my belongings. I tuck myself out of the window and swing through the city. Food bank. I think to myself. I eventually found it. A brick building with a single, cramped entrance. I enter and inquire about the art show. It’s supposed to be held at a church nearby. Should’ve read the rest of the flier . I note the time and address, thanking them for their help. 

★★★

          The church was made up entirely of coarse, yellowed brick. Everything was incredibly old and classy. The windows were stained glass, geometric shapes lined with brassy gold. Cars lined up in the parking lot of the church. I walk to the broken-up sidewalk and feel how warm the evening is in the direct line of the sunset. The event was set to begin at six-thirty. People were scattered outside, talking in groups. The environment was friendly, warm. I walk up the seven steps that lead to the two glass doors. Once inside, I smell old paper and floral perfume. A classic church smell , I think to myself with a smirk. 

           The church foyer was wide and open, a few tables set out in front with a donation jar, papers, and chairs holding people with large smiles and kind eyes. I can tell this church has been made into a sort of community center, the people needing somewhere to gather. I approach the table, becoming aware of the makeshift stage boosting up a band. The music had already begun, soft yet upbeat, setting a chill tone. I greet the older woman sitting at the table, recognizing her from the food bank. I smile and make the admission fee, and then some. These people have created a more meaningful community with their own presence than a local politician ever could with bulldozers and contractors. The idea that they had to hold fundraisers in local churches because they only have personal connections to work with made me strongly displeased.

    ��     After being told to enjoy myself, I walk through one of the doors. From what I could tell, all the extra furniture had been moved into closed off rooms to clear space for the “galleries.” Completely barren rooms are now decorated with various artwork. I take my time and shove my hands into my pockets, wandering around the first room. The first few rooms have impressive work. From notebook paper sketches to large canvases painted with bright colors. About a minute into browsing the second room, a woman walks past me. 

“Hello.” Her voice is upbeat, breathy. 

I raise my eyebrows, “Oh- Hi.” I smile.

She stares at me, studies me. I furrow my brows as she watches my every move. After a few more awkward seconds, she smiles widely and walks out. Okay? I brush it off. 

A few more rooms in, I see a canvas about the size of a piece of printer paper. It’s labeled “Black Treacle” by a bo y younger than me. I study the details. A can of black treacle is painted, highlighted and shapely. A few more paintings. 

A dark, swirling painting depicting earthly objects drawn toward the center: “Supermassive Black Hole.”

An orange, fiery background contrasting four black silhouettes: “Daphne Blue”

Label after label, my head tilts and my eyes study. I smile in confusion and inspiration.

“Purple haze”, a portrait of Jimi Hendrix.

“Holy Calamity”, a charcoal sketch inspired by the war on drugs, tacked with a lengthy and tragic origin. 

     After stepping back from the wall, I notice two people staring at me. I subtly look over myself. I don’t have anything on my shirt. I touch my face. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing on my face… I quickly walk to the next room.

             While overthinking the stares, my train of thought is derailed when I see a canvas, just a little bigger than the rest. It shows a sunset with a city skyline. The angles and edges were lined with gold foil, white highlights darting the painting. The image looks so familiar. I walk towards it, getting closer than I should’ve. The card below makes me grin. “2/14” by H. Brown. I knew he was creative, but wow. 

              I remember the setting. It was Valentine’s Day, the friend group had planned a big day together so none of us would be alone. Movies, chocolate, soda, friends. A result of Gwen’s chronic loneliness. Pav couldn’t come as he had already planned an extravagant date for Gayatri. Miles was grounded indefinitely. Gwen canceled at the last minute, never telling us why. I stared at the group chat message, standing in line to buy chocolates. I texted the group, a little pissed and put the chocolates back. Hobie had messaged me separately. 

“i guess we’re both free then?”

“Looks like.”

“I wish she wouldn’t plan stuff if she's always this uncertain.”

“thats what I like about her”

“shes inconsistent.”

“Yeah, well now I have to return a shit ton of candy. “

“bring it by my place.”

“we can still hang out”

“right?"

“Okay.”“Give me twenty.”

                I knocked on his window 30 minutes later, apologizing for the time. He grabbed the bags of candy and led me right back out the window. I followed him, down the rickety stairs and to the sidewalk. I asked him why we weren’t swinging. He told me to just look around, enjoy the noise. When we got deeper into the city, we climbed our way up to the roof of a building. Not the tallest building, one of regular size. We situated ourselves next to the edge, resting our elbows on the ledge. I had realized why he picked this site as we got up there. It faced a wide expanse of clear land. It faced the sunset. It wasn't as pink as it usually is, something I took as a direct middle finger to Valentine’s stereotypes. It was orange and purple. I told Hobie how the sky is probably the only thing that can blend those colors as beautifully without making a gross, muddy brown. I opened the bag of chocolates, said the sunset and sunrise were like crazy, natural RGBs, and adjusted the earbuds that fit loosely in my ears. He scoffed and we talked. We talked about how much Pav talks about Gayatri, about how moody it makes Gwen. How much Miles is going through. How nice it is to have other ‘webheads’ to confide in. We watched the sunset in silence, the window of time we devoted to staring at the colors darken. 

                       This was that sunset. And I was wrong. The colors were strikingly accurate to my memory. A stylistic choice of gold foil and white highlights were so Hobie. It always seemed he added a little extra to everything in his mind. I grinned and took out my phone to take a picture. Once I was finished, I moved a bit quicker while browsing. I was hunting for something else Hobie had created. Something I could find about him that he hadn’t told me himself.

★★★

“Hobie, man! Amazing job!”

                 I felt a pair of hands clamp onto my back. I shook my head and smiled. I’ve been thanking a lot of people today. This has been something I signed up for to help out a friend. The food bank has done incredible things for this community, I’d do anything to keep the family upright. Seeing all these people show up and donate to the cause is reassuring. I took a tour myself after I helped set up. We hold a lot of potential here. 

“They’re gonna love this, D.”

        I tell Diana, the co-owner of the food bank as I stare around one of the rooms. She smiles, lines forming around her eyes. D is an older woman that had always checked in on me. She has patched up countless cuts on my face, made me innumerable bowls of soup, given me way too many pep talks and even more reprimands. She walks up to me and hugs me, wordlessly. 

Now, as I stand in the lobby once I’ve checked in with everyone out back, I stay behind Diana, sitting in her chair and greeting more visitors. I keep to myself and hover to the side. A few people came by to exit, they had finished the walkthrough. They smiled at me. 

“You made that sunset painting, right?” I cringe. D had been very liberal bragging about my art. I had been staring at my shoes for at least 20 minutes while she talked about how she’s known me since I was “a little monster.” Now, people recognized my name to my face. 

“Yeah.” I answer shortly.

“It’s amazing. I love the story you tell. Good job.” The man says. 

I smile, “Hey, thanks, man.” And wave goodbye as they walk through the door. 

“Hobie!” D’s voice calls from a few meters away. 

I turn towards her. She was now alone at the table. I walk over to her, “What’s up?” 

“That painting. The one you insisted I hide in the back room. I still don’t know why you’d hide the most beautiful work you’ve-”

“What about it, D?” I roll my eyes. 

“The person from the painting, I saw 'em.” Diana smiles. I furrow my brows and tilt my head.

“Huh?” Diana’s voice reverberates through my ribcage.

“They're here .” She grins, softly. If it were anyone else, it'd sound mocking. “They're a kind soul, I approve.”

My eyes slightly widen and my chest heaves in sudden panic. 

“ What ? ”

★★★

I stare at the second Hobie painting I’ve found.

A box of chocolates is spilled out onto a concrete ledge. 

“Bad Habit” by H. Brown.

                  A pocket knife sits next to a few crumbs of a chocolate bar, coated in caramel. The knife assumedly had cut the candy bar in half. Not in half, in like three quarters. That was my pocket knife and I remember everything. That night, I had opened the bag as we talked constantly, back and forth. I had opened a Twix and set it on the ledge. 

“We go half?” He looked at me, reaching for the candy. I pulled out my pocket knife and flicked it open. 

“Jesus, dude. You can have it. ” 

I laughed loudly, I covered my mouth. “No! I’m gonna cut it in half. Sorry, I should stop pulling knives on people.”

He laughed, “That’s a habit of yours?”

I sighed dramatically, “A bad one.” Before cutting the Twix, it was completely disproportionate.

          Remembering this made me smirk. I wondered why these moments had been memorialized. I continue looking back, wondering what else could be so special. I felt too bad to skip every other piece. I could tell time had been dedicated to the abstract oil pastel labeled “Tio.” I felt connected to the color pencil drawing of the Iris flowers. I couldn’t just walk past them selfishly. My eyes quickly scanned them, hastily coming up with my opinions on them and shuffling to the next. I read the labels and artists’ names and ages. I wander the rooms, they are small and large and the paint on the walls are all different colors of neutral. I admire the windows in the short hallways between rooms. The stained glass being a fitting, constant palette cleanser. I walk through what I believe to be the last room. This room stands surrounded by two other rooms to the left and right. The room is dimmer, I see a brighter light within. 

When I walk into the room, the majority of the paintings are lit dimly by the main light at the opposite of the room. I stare at the canvas. It was a sizable canvas compared to every other that had been displayed. Slightly bigger. The one light used in this room was shined directly onto it. I walk towards it.

      The painting was me. Literally, I was in the painting . It was a view of me from the side, my head only slightly turned towards the point of view. The darkening sunset before me, casting an orange glow on my face. The art style was choppy, no straight lines, everything lightly blended together. My face was clear, though. It was obviously me. I had cheap earbuds in, listening to music I refused to show him in fear of getting made fun of. The sunset had almost changed my eye color, it emphasized my eyelashes, highlighted my arms as they pushed my body up from the ledge. I was looking out past the roof and towards the sky. People below were blurred squares, a hundred feet below us. So ignorant, yet so important in this painting. I remember this. My breath was audible in the dead silent room. I breathed in and out, the exhale interrupted by a quick “Heh.” I looked at the card underneath. 

“Dayplayer” by Hobie Brown

         It was impossible to stop thinking about how this painting struck me. I saw how I was seen at that moment, watching the sunset with him. This was how he saw me on a random Valentine’s Day, on a random rooftop, with random street lights in the background. I hadn’t even noticed where his attention was, I was focused on the sky, on how my music would fit the moment. I was feeling the warm, humid air and was pissed that it wasn’t getting cooler faster.

I had no idea .

I couldn’t bring myself to see the other paintings until I could feel my fingers again. They were cold and almost numb, I had no idea how long I’d been sitting there staring. I turned to face the adjacent walls to find that every painting in this room was made by Hobie. 

A painting of a mug of coffee on an unidentified table sitting next to a remote was labeled “Peak.”

A messy charcoal sketch of a pair of shoes: “Great Race.”

A pencil drawing of several objects, practice maybe. “Goodie bag.”

I go from paper to canvas, reviewing the details, recognizing themes. I am getting to understand how he sees the world. As vivid colors intrude black and white backgrounds, I hear a word behind me.

“Hi.”

★★★

[lovesick-wonderland]

Habit || k.th

Summary: when adrenaline runs high before his shows, Taehyun has found the perfect outlet for his nerves: fucking your brains out before every show.

Pairings: Toxic Rockstar! Kang Taehyun x Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, degradation, choking, unprotected sex, unhealthy relationship, reader is called a pet, dom taehyun, top taehyun, toxic taehyun, gender neutral reader

Word count: 1.6k

Part of @napofamoon's event: growing pain! Thank you so much with being patient with me and letting me join ^^, I tried to get it out asap, so I haven't proofread--

Minor please DNI

Disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. I do not condone the actions of any characters in this story and the actions do not reflect the idols in any way.

You swore it’s the last time you’re doing this.

You swore it was the last time that you’re going to let Kang Taheyun fuck you in his dressing room before his shows. He claims it’s to get rid of his nerves before the show and you always let him. However, despite your shared pleasure during this pre-concert habit, the euphoria and adrenaline always wears off, a longing and emptiness replacing them after he zips up his pants and asks you to leave so he can prepare

Everyone tells you that you can’t keep letting Taehyun do this to you. That you deserve better, that you can find someone else. You even know that the two’s relationship is toxic, a corrosive acid eroding you, until there’s nothing left, eating you up alive and leaving you until you have nothing else to offer. 

You know he has options. He’s gorgeous, the lead singer of a rising rock band: “TXT”. People were always throwing themselves at Taehyun’s feet. You’ve seen the people he’s brought back backstage after one of his shows, the pretty girls he leaves the bar with or dances at the club with. You’ve how people stare at him at shows, full of adoration, love, support. The crowds that go wild the minute he flashes his abs, the way they scream whenever he hits the high note in the song, the comments online about how they’d give everything to spend a night with him.

But despite the line of people Taehyun has to choose from, you’re the one he always calls to his dressing room before his shows. You’re the one. Not them.

It's a special feeling that keeps you coming back to him. Time and time again.

It’s dangerous to be addicted to such a feeling, to be addicted to such a relationship. So, you try to distance yourself from him. You try to stop seeing him so often. You hang out with different friends. Friends that don’t treat you like you’re disposable. Friends that seem to respect you. And though it keeps you from thinking about Taehyun and his band when you’re with others, you can’t stop yourself from unlocking your phone during sleepless nights to check your shared group chats and his social media.

You always feel guilty, feeling possessive and distraught over a man who was never yours to begin with. Especially a man who didn’t seem to care about your absence. A man who was still sticking to his schedule, going to photoshoots, interviews, and, to your dismay, clubs and bars. But at the very least, TXT had yet to do another concert. And Taehyun has yet to call you for another dressing room quickie.

You’re out at a restaurant with friends when you hear the familiar ring of your phone. A surge of satisfaction washing over you as you check the caller ID: Taehyun. You’re not surprised, you knew he had a show today. But you promised yourself you wouldn’t go back to him, so you place your phone down on the table and revert your attention back to your friends. 

You hear your ringer go off again. And again. 

Then Taehyun stops calling. 

You stand up abruptly from the table, excusing yourself, bidding goodbye and saying something urgent came up. It’s automatic how your body moves to get to the concert venue, strides long and slow until you’re running to get to the venue. You will yourself not to think as you scream at yourself for going back to him. You know it’s unhealthy. You know you should leave, but the thought of him no longer needing you sends your mind into a frenzy.

You’re sweaty and out of breath when Taehyun opens the door to his dressing room, ushering you inside while grinning. He’s gorgeous, dressed in a sleeveless graphic t-shirt, ripped jeans, a belt with a wallet chain, spiked choker and a spiked cuff.

“I knew you’d come. You always come back to me, don’t you? A little pet that always comes back to its master.” Taehyun coos at you, pulling you towards him for a kiss before pinning you against the closed door.

“I want to fuck you against a wall. You’re okay with that right, baby?” 

You nod enthusiastically. Taehyun lets out a chuckle.

“I called you in earlier than usual since we haven’t seen each other in so long, so we don’t have to rush.” Taehyun says while undoing his belt and tying it around your neck.

You undress and drop to your knees like your usual routine, pulling down his pants while Taehyun holds the end of the belt in his hand. He’s not completely hard yet, so you pump him a few times before licking up from the base of his shaft to his tip. Taehyun lets out a sigh at your ministrations, eyes fluttering shut. He tugs the belt, bringing you closer to his length, urging you to take him in your mouth.

You take a deep breath and relax your throat as he begins to shallowly thrust into your mouth, holding your makeshift collar still. His thrusts slowly build until he’s slamming into the back of your throat, pulling you towards him as he fucks your mouth. You struggle to maintain eye contact with him as he looks down at you, drool dripping from your mouth onto the tiled floor of the dressing room while your eyes water from your gag reflex. You can hear him moaning “take it” between his pants and that spurs you to keep going.

You’re beginning to see black spots from the lack of oxygen when suddenly he pulls out from your mouth, hard length bobbing against his abdomen. You gasp for oxygen as Taehyun leaves you to walk to his vanity, grabbing a bottle of lube. He returns and crouches down, running his fingers through your hair to soothe you and cupping your face. 

“You’re so good to me. So obedient, so cute when I’m fucking you.” 

You’re able to let out a content hum, throat starting to feel sore as you try to stand on your numb legs from kneeling. Taehyun notices you struggling and laughs before hooking his left arm under your legs and picking you up, folding you flush against his chest as he teases your entrance with lubed fingers. 

Taehyun is always meticulous with what he does, and making sure you’re properly prepared for taking him is no exception. Easing his fingers into you slowly and pumping them, hitting your sweet spot and making you see stars. Your head lays on his shoulder, your eyes shut focusing on the pleasure he gives you. 

You feel him kiss your cheek before removing his fingers from you. You let out a whine, eyes flying open as you wiggle your hips.

“Don’t worry, I’m not done with you yet.” Taehyun says as he aligns himself with your hole. 

Taking him is never difficult. It’s almost like a routine now, given how often you’ve ended up in this situation. You always fit him like a glove and it’s always easy to take him to the hilt, with you flush against his pelvis. 

“Fuck. You feel amazing. My favorite fleshlight to use.” Taehyun says breathily, beginning to bounce you up and down like a fleshlight. He hooks each arm beneath your knees and spreads your legs so he can get a good view of him coming in and out of you. You can feel his eyes burning on the place where you two are connected.

You let out a huff as he puts down your legs, allowing your legs to touch the ground. You turn back to look at him with a confused expression before he’s covering your mouth and pinning you against the wall, back facing him while he begins to fuck you again. Your face is pressed against the wall, the wall rough against your cheek as you feel Taehyun tug harshly on the belt wrapped around your neck, choking you. 

You feel your eyes roll back into your skull in pleasure, the lack of oxygen intensifying the feeling of Taehyun inside you. He feels like he’s everywhere, suffocating you in the best way possible. The way he presses his body against yours, one of his hands on your back, pushing you further into the wall while the other one is next to your head.

“You’re so filthy. What do you think everyone would think about you if they saw you right now? Reduced to a fucktoy, fucked dumb on my cock.” Taehyun whispers against your ears. You cum first after hearing him, body shaking and mind reeling, the overwhelming sensation of everything proving to be too much combined with his words. Your orgasm and lack of oxygen blurs your mind as aftershocks run through your body. Taehyun doesn’t relent, chasing after his high and fucking you into overstimulation.

“Good pet. Fucking take my cum.” Taehyun groans before his hips stutter and you can feel him fill you up with his hot cum.

Taehyun rides out his high, before eventually stilling and slowly pulling out of you. He rushes to his vanity, checking the time on his phone as you collapse on the floor. Your euphoria and adrenaline turning into emptiness and dread. You just feel so exhausted.

“Shit. I still need to get ready. Do you mind heading out?” Taehyun says, smoothing out his hair and checking his reflection in his mirror. 

You open your mouth to say something, before deciding against it and closing it.

You want to tell Taehyun to stop calling you, to stop treating you like this, but it’s not something Taehyun hasn’t heard from you before. He understands your unhappiness. But it’s not something he’s willing to change. 

So, you leave, wobbly legs taking you from his dressing room as you swear this is the last time you’re doing this.

But, old habits die hard.

[doodlesphxre]

Your intro post mentions Dustberry/murderswap and swap x lust and you mentioned your version....

I need to know more

(Second image by vic the underfella)

Mmm o glad you asked 👀👀

Well, there is A LOT to talk about :3 (but I'm warning you.... My multiverse may be a little too childish and old-fandom-like...So it can be a little cheesy)

Sooo the most important thing is the fact that I have my own version of Berry and Lust. Their names are: Juniper Berry and Violet.. Dust stays mostly the same, thought I also gave him alternative names like Ghostt

And first goes Juniper Berry.

He's another version of Swap, since him, Swap and Blueberry are actually three different people.

Now, Juniper is in Star Sanses, is friends with Error and I ship him with Dust! He's a ver of Swap, sure, but he's muchdifferent than him. He doesn't act like Papyrus as much as Swap does... If I had to describe his personality, I'd said he's a combo of Swap and Blueberry (with MAYBE a hint of @/darkxsoulzyx's Swap). He's a sunshine of the group. (Ink is the jokester and Dream is the mom friend XD) He always brings good energy into the room, he's loyal, brave and full of hope. He can be also naive at times, believing that everyone can be good... But believe me, he's working on it. In fact he feels kinda bad about that.

Now, his relationship with Dust... At first Dust didn't like him. He thought he was too nice. He wasn't mean to him at all. He was so food, naive and hopefull. It made annoyed. He didn't believe someone could be this generous and happy all the goddamn time. (Well, Dream was, but it made sense to him, he was a guardian of positive emotions.) and Juniper was making anything to cheer up Dust. He wanted to see his smile at least once.

And he slowly began to like him more than he'd expect himself to. So did Dust. The annoyance began to be reaplced with feeling of affection, that was hard for him to express. He found himself being interested in things Juniper liked. And Berry felt so happy every time he spent time with Dust. For the first time he was with someone that was so quiet...and for him every single little thing he did meant so much, since he knew he wasn't big on the entire affection thing... Even spending time with him was enough. He helped Juniper learn how to appreciate that. :)

Now goes Violet!!

Violet is from CrystalLust, my AU based on Underlust. Violet is a confident feminine man (ofc he is) that often speaks up on taboo subjects. He isn't scared to fight for himself and for others. His mental health is much better than it was before... His bad state in past was mostly caused by his addictions and boyfriend... (wont reveal who he was for now) but now they got help

Now his relationship with Juniper <3

I think they would meet up on a part of some sort. Either of them would just walk towards them... Yk it would be a casual meeting.

Violet would, for the first time, be in a health and go of relationship. Let alone that we ALL agree that Swap would be an amazing BF, Juniper too!! He'd care about his boundaries so much and make sure he feels safe...☹️❤️ They both would be so affectionate with eachother, i see them mostly as touch affectionate, but Juniper would also show affection by acts of service <33

I hope that this analize/ramble is good..... I had lots of fun with it :33

[bethanysnow]

Breakeven prt 4

Bang Chan x Plus size Reader!

1.5k FLUFF chan being what the kids say 'delulu'

(A.N: Tumblr ate the first version of this fic so please be kind. I am happy there is a fully formed piece though.)

His heart beat faster in his chest. He didn't know if it was from the impact or the pretty girl in front of him, but he felt the ringing in his ears and blood rush to his cheeks turning them rosey.

Normally, he was at a function for JYP he was Chan! Best leader! Leader and producer of one of the best-selling, most popular boy groups in the 4th gen if ever. He was there to be a show pony. Do tricks. Flirt with women he had no interest in because he knew it did something in the realm of securing his seat at the table. It was safe. He could be charismatic, charming, intoxicatingly so. He saved face for the company, he knew it, and everyone knew it. The friends he had were other idols. Fellow people in the pursuit of this dream, but that were also tied to work. He didn't know the last person he spoke to that wasn't….in some way shape or form tied to his work as an Idol.

He didn't know the last time he just randomly met a girl on the street who he thought was pretty and talked to her just to talk to her.

He didn't know the last time he was just Chris from Australia.

Chan wasn't shy by any means or he didn't think he was. Something in the way the woman across from him looked into his eyes though made him want to hide. He wasn't looking for a girlfriend either. Just work was work, Stay came into his life and it was almost a religious experience. This incomprehensible force was out there, looking out for him, caring about him, wanting the best for him, and all he had to do was be the man he grew into being. That permission of self was a big relief considering his addiction to work. His work as Idol. Korea as a country was dependent on this addiction, for that's what it was. Large parts of the population got a high seeing work be completed, having it also be tied to one's worth, self-preservation. Words were invented to describe the feeling of being so deeply exhausted only for it to be turned into words of praise.

That's what Chan knew and expected. Internalizing from a very young age that unless he was extraordinary, he wasn't anything.

Anything at all.

Maybe she knew who he was.

Maybe she had walls plastered with his face on it.

But in that moment, it didn't matter. Nothing…mattered.

Just her asking him if he was alright and her hand gently placed on top of his. The sounds around him began to go fuzzy with Han rambling and people having dinner.

Her eyes went to Jisung taking in whatever was being spoken, as Chan's eyes sought to memorize the vision before him. She was different. Not different bad, just different. In the world he lived in it was common practice to ‘deal with’ things. Diets, being unhealthily skinny, wanting to ‘fix’ how tall someone’s nose was. Looking at her with soft eyes he took in her appearance. She was a full-figured woman, took up space, commanded a presence. There was some blush to her cheeks, eyeshadow maybe. Simple. Only Chan noticed the details not of what was there, but of what wasn’t. No tape pulling her face back, no line of lace for a wig or caked on foundation shades lighter than her skin naturally was. She just existed. No one in his life knew how to just be. How to exist in their entirety, and yet here she was.

She was so pretty…

That’s all he could think about…she was just so god damn pretty.

“You’re staring- he’s staring. Is he? Are you okay?” Waving her hand in front of his face. He stared at her in a daze. Only for her to break him out of his delusion of what their apartment would look like decorated for the holidays and what would they name their third child. Watching him snap back to reality it left the gritty feeling of anxiety in her mouth, was there something on her face? In her teeth? Did she smell?

When Jisung said the person he wanted her to meet would be worth her while she didn’t think this is what he meant! His fucking leader?! After this encounter she was sure to give him a piece of her mind! What in the twilight zone unreality did she walk into? Chris seeing her apprehension looked to Han who winked at him giving him finger guns only to say something about picking up the dinner. Telling Chan to sit with Y/n.

Y/n…y/n. He chewed on the name in his mouth feeling where his tongue sat and bit his teeth. He had heard names like it before. Normally wouldn’t think twice about it, but seeing the girl the name was attached to made it sparkle. He wanted to say it over and over, it in the second became the sweetest sound he ever heard.

“Is it okay? If I sit here, with you? I can go- “

“No!! Stay!! Its fine- “Her voice was louder than she expected. As if something took possession of the controls in her head to grab his hand only to retract it moments later cringing instantly. Seeking solace in hiding in her purple sweater. That’s when it hit Chan how he knew her really. She was the girl from the street.

This realization caused Chan’s face to turn bright red grabbing at his earring to self-soothe the butterflies that had taken up residency inside his lungs.

“You’re the uh…girl on the street yea? You busk? I mean? I heard you singing earlier-“

Y/ns eyes widened…” Am I that loud?” her mouth tried to form words as embarrassment crept up her collar and onto her face only for Chan to grab her hand. He threw his head back and laughed like somehow, she had made the room feel like fizzy drinks and pop rocks and cotton candy all in one question.

“No! no no no no- you hehehe aren’t that loud. I just keep the window to the studio open sometimes and when I head in, I can hear you. I promise you aren’t that loud hehe” He smiled and it just got bigger and bigger as Y/n threw a hand over her heart and exhaled dramatically.

“Oh, thank god- I would hope someone would have told me by now, but I’m glad I am not taking up the entire street block with my attempt at music.” She giggled. She was giggling. Who was she?? Acting like a schoolgirl on a date. Becoming absolutely beside herself with the affect this man was having on her. Ending up just looking at the table for some illusionary script of what does one say to one of the most attractive people on the planet?

“Oh- don’t say that. You sing quite good if I’m honest.”

Her smile bloomed across her face as did the redness in her cheeks. Bang Christopher Chan was complimenting her singing. What a day this turned out to be?

Chan looked at their hands still oddly touching, he didn’t notice till now that when he grabbed her hand…she didn’t let go. Normally by now there would be some squealing or reaction, but there wasn’t. Not that it was an expectation of course. His mind drifted a little looking at their hands only to be brought back to her eyes on him with a slight tilt of her head.

“You okay though? I mean- You kinda got tabled in the dick so- “Y/n chuckled unable to keep it to herself.

As weird as asking how his dick was, it was the most refreshing conversation and question Chan had experienced in about six months. Not knowing if it was the novelty of finding someone outside of work, or how she was so different than everyone he existed with in his day-to-day life, he wanted to know. To know if it was just infatuation or something else.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I think though Jisung set me up…” The man looked over the dividers to their rapper standing next to the counter talking to a waitress, making sure he wasn’t just straight up abandoned in a restaurant with a girl.

“Oh I am right there with you-“

“You in Seoul long?” Chan asked trying to gauge what he could do.

“I guess? I am visiting a cousin in Busan over a couple months and so I always try and visit Seoul. He works, and I don’t want to just be waiting for him. I’m staying at a capsule hotel hostel thing.”

The gears in his head turned. Looking between the table Jisung, and Y/n. “Are you on whatsapp? Or Kakao Talk? I would love to hear you sing something…and I work in a studio so….” Chan couldn’t handle the tension anymore. He needed an answer like an itch he couldn’t scratch or a song he couldn’t name playing on repeat.

Jisung only then took the moment to barge into their bubble with bags of takeout. “SO- talk about anything fun??~” Han grinned so proud of himself.

“Maybe we did, maybe we didn’t, eh?” Y/n scrunched her nose at the interrupter. “I was just about to give Chan here my number…if he would still accept it~” she smiled at him taking out her phone to hand to him.

…… …………

~~~~ To be continued.

@7ndipity @moonlightndaydreams @queen-in-the-shadows @chansmanda @antoniorhinothethird @hyunsvngs @channieandhisgoonsquad @noellllslut

[imprettytired]

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Before this next chapter begins I would like to say something:

I'm sorry about not getting this chapter out sooner. I've been dealing with a lot of mental health issues as well as getting distracted.

Tw: mentions of drugs, self harm, alcohol, arguing, and disordered eating.

Chapter 3:

Mammon walks around, taking in the familiar, yet new environment around him. He's never seen the Devildom in such a beautiful and bright way, albeit a bit blurry.

He tries his best to calm down, to understand that his brothers do in fact love him.

"Hey" he hears someone yell "you're Mammon right?"

Mammon turned, half expecting it was someone that he had borrowed money from and never paid back, but it wasn't.

Mammon's eyes lands on a group of demons, he doesn't feel like counting how many, but he knows that's it's more than one.

"You seem to be enjoying your self right now." He said now pointing at mammon's face.

Mammon didn't understand, was his face different? He begins to touch his face making the group of demons laugh.

"Dude I meant that you look high".

"Oh" Mammon mumbled

"I'm kinda glad I didn't send you home with anything to strong. Don't want your brothers to see ya'" now starting to calm down from his laughing fit.

"It's different from yesterday?" Mammon thought though he had no recollection of the previous night. The confusion must had been evident on his his face as a demon took a step forward.

"I really overestimated what you could handle last night"

"I wasn't that bad, was I?" Mammon asked, worried that he might have done something stupid.

"You kinda just sat on the couch and spaced out, you talked sometimes but nothing you said made any sense"

"Oh." Why didn't Mammon remember this?

They began to part ways but just then Mammon remembered something.

"Wait" the group of demons paused when he said that "do you know whose number this is?"

He showed them the unknown person that texted him earlier. He hadn't realized how sweaty his hands were before then.

"Oh yeah that's mine dude."

"Sorry I guess I forgot to put my name. Here." The demon takes the phone and updates the contacts.

----

Mammon was now on the roof of RAD watching as people began to trickle into the school. He doesn't plan on going to classes today

He thinks back to the events of earlier. Did he actually steal his brothers stuff? He doesn't remember, but he feels like it couldn't have been him. He wouldn't have taken something from everyone, would he?

"You know no one believes you right?" Yeah he knows.

He doesn't even believe himself.

----

Mammon gets home before any of his siblings could make it. Skipping school really helps with that.

He heads straight to his room as he fears that staying outside of it for too long would cause him to be blamed for something else that he didn't do.

Though it seems like that didn't work.

When he enters his room he sees that it was a mess. He doesn't remember leaving the room like this but with how his memory has been who knows.

He sighs, frustrated with himself for letting his room get like this. He begins to clean up.

----

"I don't even know where he could have hid it" he heard Leviathan "I searched through his entire room but there was nothing."

"He probably already sold it Levi" Asmodeous said "I swear he's such an ass."

"I don't know why we keep him around" belphegor added.

That one hurt Mammon alot. He felt his chest tighten, but he tries is hardest not to cry.

It doesn't help that the pills wears off leaving him with a numb feeling he has started to grow accustomed to.

He hated this feeling. He wants to go back to the happiness the pills had gifted him.

While this is cool he doesn't want to get addicted he doesn't worry too much though "this is only my third time" he thought "I can stop at any time. This is just for fun."

The pill, while replacing his sadness, didn't erase his anger. He grabs his wallet and some other things, and exits his room, but not before glancing at the mirror first. He looks like a complete mess.

He had no idea what he was going to say or do but he didn't intend to just leave without telling them something first.

He stopped when he saw his brothers, his breath now quick and shallow. Soon his brothers where looking at him. Mammon points at Leviathan.

"If you" Mammon pauses, trying his best to collect himself "ever enter my room for whatever reason I will beat your ass."

It caught his brothers off guard. Leviathan tries to say something but Mammon stops him.

"Don't speak." Mammon holds his finger up, hand trembling from rage "You're so convinced that I stole something from-"

"Because you did"

"NO I FUCKING DIDN'T LEVI." Mammon takes a step forward watching as his brother quickly takes some steps back.

"Why are you getting this mad to begin with?"

He's right. He usually didn't care. He has no clue why he was so angry, it wasn't about the room, but he says the first thing that pops in his head that would make even some sense.

"Because what you did to my room was disgusting. If you were so convinced that I stole your shit why didn't you find it? Why'd you have to destroy my room-"

"I didn't destroy your room."

"Don't interrupt me again Levi." Mammon is getting angrier. He looked around the room.

Fear

He loves that. They, or at least some of his brothers, are afraid.

He didn't want to hurt his brother. He loved him too much to ever hurt him.

Maybe their afraid he's gonna hurt Leviathan.

Which is valid.

Maybe their afraid Mammon will target them next.

Another valid point.

Or maybe their afraid of him. Just him.

He doesn't know what he looks like at this exact moment, but if it was anything like he saw in the mirror as he was heading out it was probably a complete mess. He didn't even sound the same.

"I swear Levi you better hope that you don't find your shit in your room because if I find out you messed up my room because your irresponsible ass couldn't look for shit properly I don't know what I'm going to do to you."

Mammon stormed out of the house. Slamming the door behind him.

----

Soon he feels no reason to angry, he was back to his happy self.

As Mammon begins to walk around aimlessly, he receives a message:

"Do you want to hang out?"

It was one of the people he had met earlier, although now he's forgot how he has the person's number.

"Sure"

He's sent a location, somewhere on the other side of town that he didn't feel like walking too, so he goes and finds the nearest taxi.

"Hey can you take me somewhere?"

Judging by the look on the demons face, he must have thought Mammon was crazy.

"Where?"

"Home."

"Where is home?"

He paused for a moment, remembering why he left in the first place.

"No where"

"Okay so where do you want to go?"

Mammon took out his phone to pull up the location again but stops as he looks at the new messages from his family group chat, ignoring the recent ones calling him names, he scrolls up a bit to a few hours ago. Many messages where to tell him that he missed the meeting, but he only one stood out to him.

Asmo had sent a picture of him with all the brothers and by the look of it, Mammon assumes it's from today's meeting.

His siblings were in the background doing various things, some not even noticing that their picture was being taken:

But there's was no Mammon.

If Mammon left forever would he truly be missed? It's such ,but for some reason this picture hurt him.

"Sir"

"Sorry sorry I'm so sorry umm" he pulls up the location of his new friends

"Here."

"Okay get in"

Mammon can't help but think about his brothers and how happy they are without him. He hadn't realized it, but even in his incredibly happy state he was still crying. It was a painful feeling but that wasn't the worst part, it wasn't even close to it.

The worst part for him is:

He's happy that they're happy without him.

----

He hands the driver some money, then stumbles out of the taxi. "Was there even taxi's in the devildom?" Mammon thinks. He turns to check,

But it had already left.

Mammon's eyes fall upon an old house that, if wasn't abandoned already, really should have been.

The decrepit house has had shattered windows, an uncared-for front yard, and graffiti tags all over the exterior of things to blurry for Mammon to make out.

It was probably what Diavolo had been picturing during one of his plans to have some of the abandoned houses in the devildom tore down a few weeks back.

The front door that was barely on its hinges flew open.

"Hey Mammon"

"You don't live here right?" Was the first thing to fly out of Mammon's mouth

"What? No. Dude who would live here? It's just somewhere to hang out"

Mammon opens his mouth, trying to get out an apology, but his mouth was too dry.

"Come on." The demon gestured to Mammon while walking further into the house.

Mammon walks up, careful as to not trip over any weeds or step on any sharp objects and enters the house.

Although the inside was in rough shape it wasn't nearly as bad as the front.

----

"Sooooo Mammon?" Mammon popped his head up from whatever he was drinking. He thinks it might be alcohol but he's not sure.

He was in the living room area of the house. Everyone was in random places in the room, Mammon sitting on a pillow on the floor as his new friends deemed it as the "best part of the house"

"Hmm?"

"Tell me something?"

"Ummm okay. What does cheese say when it gets it's picture taken?"

The room went silent. Then gradually everyone begins to laugh hard.

"Mammon your such an idiot" was said before the person began to start crying from laughing so hard.

This felt normal. Being surrounded by people who don't hate him. What would usually be insulting spat at him just became banter.

He was happy.

But he knows it can never last forever. Soon everyone calmed down.

"Hey Mammon there's something I need to tell you."

"What?" Mammon smiles expecting for another cringey joke to be told.

But there isn't.

"It's about the pills you've been taking."

[hyperfixingfr]

@kndrules said I should talk about the Hoagie shutdown HCs for hours so that's my excuse for doing such (CW for S/H and some brief abuse & addiction mentions)

Hoagie is more quiet than his teammates. That's kind of something people don't notice because the way he's quiet is kind of different because of his neurodivergence. Yes, he talks. Yes, he socializes. But the way in which he does these things is very obviously a quiet kid. He lets other people lead conversations. He tends to follow the actions of others. He talks excessively if you let him, but the moment someone shows any form of rejection or disapproval of it, he stops talking. He stays behind everyone else, or at least behind the "leader" of the scene. And overall, his personality would cause some pretty obvious outcasting from groups in school. But these are some pretty boring aspects of canon and it's hardly ever thought about, so I'm gonna expand upon it.

Hoagie shuts down fast and he shuts down OFTEN. He's rejection sensitive. Now, he's not oblivious. If Wally says something like, "you're so stupid!" he takes it as a joke. The issue is if Wally used a tone that was *off* from his normal joke tones. Intentionally or not, a different tone in any way. Those words would start to ring in Hoagie's ears. He starts to overthink, and of course - shutdown. Anything he was saying prior to this, he'd slowly fade the conversation out and eventually stop talking or responding. He'd try to get himself to a secluded area as soon as he could, to prevent attention being drawn to him. He does a really good job with fading out from conversation because no one knows it's happening until he tells them. They just think he got bored and left.

Like I said, this happens often. Nigel scolding him, him getting bullied at school, Abby ignoring him to focus on work. The list goes on. He's too scared to express how these things make him feel, so he has a shutdown just about every day. His family further encourages this behavior by rewarding silence and scolding him for speaking. Tommy experiences the same stuff, but confidence boosts from Hoagie prevent Tommy from shutting down and staying silent when he's being mistreated. Hoagie never had anyone to stand up for him, though... At least, not after their dad died. He was the only one who tried to stand up for him.

He does a lot of hiding due to his environment at home. His shutdowns always result in him locking himself away and trying to get people to focus on someone else if they try to see what's up. He doesn't have any good coping mechanisms so, to try and "get it over with" he cuts (something he learned about on the early internet). After that, he'll go on to use an actual healthy coping skill like working on his projects or spending time with someone (once he finds his voice again). He feels a lot of guilt for it but because he hides his emotions, it takes a while for people to figure out what's going on and help him out.

In any situation causing distress and self confidence issues, Hoagie will shut down. It tends to happen with raised voices the most, though. If they're away from the treehouse on a mission somewhere and won't be going back for a while, he'll disappear wherever possible. He even becomes known for it, at least to Nigel. Unfortunately, Hoagie has a razor with a seal guard to protect the fabric in his pocket at all times, so he still engages with harmful mechanisms even when away from the treehouse. He put it there for that very reason, but it does double as a good tool if he's in trouble and caught in something... I guess

His shutdowns were a major part of his life from 10-13. They caused loneliness, a lack of help and support, and further fear. Not to mention the harm it caused to his arms because of how he decided to deal with it every time it happened.

On the bright side, Abby and Wally eventually realized things were going on. Wally wasn't much help in his teen years because he fell down the same hole of depression that Hoagie did especially during high school where he was forced to be misgendered, but he helped whenever sane enough to do so. It started off with Abby getting a bit concerned by his tendencies to slip off after Hoagie had mention he loves listening to conversations normally. She tried to be discrete when asking him things about the shutdowns, until they were on a mission away from the treehouse and Abby asked Hoagie if he had anything like scissors to cut something off an old file. She was handed the "infamous stained razor" and of course, freaked the fuck out on him. Not to scare him or anything, but it kind of did since she started asking a bunch of questions he didn't think he'd ever be asked as she paced around anxiously, hitting herself on the head and preventing him from even getting CLOSE to the razor he'd lended her. After that she started being more nosey about his shutdowns. She refused to let him suffer from them as much as he did because she knew he didn't have to. Over time, she managed to understand the signs of shutdowns. Wally did, too. If either of them are around when his shutdown starts, they immediately identify it and follow him off to wherever he ends up going. This soon turned to them actively being found by Hoagie during his shutdowns, and given a simple hand signal to let them know he shut down and needs to be watched over in a safe environment (since by this time at 13-14 he's suffering from genuine addiction to harm, and needs supervision when at risk). They tend to haul him off to a nice, cozy place in the treehouse. There, they'll do whatever Hoagie pleases. He doesn't speak, but he'll make it clear what he wants to do. He'll drop playing cards in front of them, he'll turn on the TV and cling to their sides, sometimes he'll just fall asleep or cuddle up in their arms. His shutdowns became far less stressful and dangerous after Abby and Wally found ways for him to shut down and then unwind in a safe environment. In late teen years Wally became incapable and even unsafe to be around at certain points due to doing the exact same harmful things Hoagie did at that time but Abby still helped keep him safe whenever possible and, in rare instances Wally would be able to when he wasn't unsafe. Abby also did searches of both of Hoagie's rooms (with his permission) every month to cleanse the area of harmful stuff so he couldn't hurt himself even if he didn't properly identify a shutdown and seek help for it. She came out of there with a looot of different things she didn't even know could be used. She disposed of them in secret locations and soon enough she wasn't finding anything in his rooms, which meant his shutdowns were either being had with his trusted partners, or he was capable of having a shutdown all alone without harm being caused. That part kind of goes beyond that point and he does have (even worse) problems still but that doesn't really correlate with his shutdowns so that's for anyone who's interested in his problems with addictions which I'll talk about if people are interested

[inconsideratekidney]

10/17/24

hey gamers,

i wanna be a gamer, i wanna be up in here gaming on a thursday afternoon, double-monitored up, hella snacks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yoohoo big summa blowout. it's fall and it's amazing. loving my sweater moments because i exist in sweater weather. it is a time for seasonal depression, but also for cute and bulky sweaters! my favorite accessory. I consider them accessories because they are very much a part of my outfit. i am my outfit. i am the main attraction. just kidding...the sweater is the main attraction, i'm not that egotistical...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

anyway....i don't have much to say to be honest. i have talked to people and had my fill of spill-ing out my brain. i am content with my state of mind right now (i have no big assignments due tonight or tomorrow night). i am stressed about next week with 2 midterms and more big work coming in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the adhd brain is such an interesting thing--how can one be so distracted and yet not be able to distract oneself when necessary? trauma is one thing, but intrusive thoughts are so dumb and stupid. why have a brain if it can't function well enough to do what you tell it to do?

figures, i have so much on my plate and so much death in mind. my uncle's, my friend from high schools--which makes me think of the students last year who died and all others, and liam payne from one direction???? like what???? that's crazy. i can't strip that down for him the same anymore. wtf. like i can't take death in general, but this one is so different. it's like when cameron boyce died. so young and so out of the blue. i was shocked when i heard the news and it's just so terrible. fucking TMZ, ofc they posted a partial picture of his body, like wtf. no composure/demeanor like my interpreting gang knows. just odd behavior.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i am into watching House MD and honestly it's so interesting. my mom was on general hospital and dr. quinn medicine woman, which i'm sure no one knows about and probably one other show i can't remember, but i am into House right now. i like the dynamic, for now, and might get sick of it soon, though, cause i've been watching it a lot lately and might be overindulging. it's whatever. the show is witty and informative. i enjoy seeing the ways that the doctors develop their personalities and i wish there was a bit more drama relating to each of the doctors, but it's mainly about house and his group of doctors. oh shwell. maybe i am more into drama hospital shows than i thought. my youtube shorts feed sure thinks i am (and i keep liking them). i hate algorithms sometimes.

i have been instagram-free for a couple of years now! and tik tok free for some handful of months! but i am terribly addicted to youtube shorts.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rock, paper, scissors, says shoot! i picked scissors what did you pick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

give me good recommendations for a laptop. i will bother everyone about this. i want a good computer that runs windows. pretty pls. my computer is giving me such a headache and i hate it. just anything with windows and that is somewhat light and somewhat cheap pretty pls. :prayer hands:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rawr. i am the evil tiger of the wicked west. i will be taking all of your cookies. mwhahahhhahhaahhaha. om nom nom. they're mine now and in my belly. mmmm mmmmm. yummy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i need a brain break. rahhh hiyaa.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tips on how to go insane?

step one: exist

step two: do life

step three: repeat.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

td:lr?

um, not much folks.

not much this time

gamer

(sweat)er

talking and death

house md and addiction

lappytoppy

mushy brain

sanity

need a break, goodnight

kD :3

[fiascox0xo]

We were not supposed to do anything for the eclipse. I made alters for my feminine energy protection deities. I adorned the outside pentacle with sun flowers that were seed and other pretty flowers and plants creatures could eat<3 I keep the outside one free from inorganic litter & the one in my room cat safe.

I’m working on cleaning my issue with waste/litter sometimes it gets hard because idk how to dispose of things properly- I hate thinking of the landfills not being properly maintained. Humans are so wasteful. And I save things for art or make art from litter I pick up <3 I try to make a difference even just locally.like picking up trash while walking to the store or the dogs. Whatever you pick up, I try to get plastic & styrofoam out of the water/habitats of animals. Anything dangerous- please take precaution or contact professionals/local enforcement agencies or nature conservation groups. I do pick up glass or mowed over aluminum cans & even paraphernalia from drugs (I’m a recovering addict & know the dangers/risks(like hep c , hiv/aids , tetanus - overdosing ) & safest ways to pick up biohazard ☣️ products. Please use a bleach/laundry jug with this plastic if you can’t get a sharps container from your pharmacy/local syringe 💉 exchange. <3 I think of all the innocent animals, kids, humans…. Wearing flip flops or walking around in a confused state like dementia/drunk/diabetic issue/ mental health episode who could hurt themselves…. On any of the stuff- EVEN STRING OR WIRES. Fencing. Things you don’t think about….

I know I look nuts sometimes picking it up- or collecting seeds & nuts to feed the birds & squirrels & plant next year (especially native plants that are keystone /cornerstone species for many creatures (meaning more than a couple species of 🐝🦋) so it helps the delicate eco system- the web 🕷️ 🕸️ that we as humans are Part of - not the spider who made it…. So we’re here to help but are a part of it…. I know that made it more confusing but we aren’t “top of the food chain” and not meant to help keep the balance 💟☮️☯️⚛️❤️💛🖤🤍 we are supposed to listen to the people who lived on the land we stand on now (whatever area code you live in- see which Indigenous Communities lived there - because they lived off this land before & know nature is Meant & able to be lived WITH - not destroying her & depleting the resources. How can we stand by and let them kill the only planet we have - we borrow her from future generations- whether it’s your bloodline and dna in her he suture or not is irrelevant , we are not the most important creatures on Earth. We (USA especially) think as a “me” society (me, myself & I) instead of others cultures who think as “We” & it shows in the amount of garbage in their city’s, the way the build things, what energy they use, how they travel, and how they generally act character wise as a society. I am embarrassed to be laughed at as a country- because we’re like reality tv- a joke to everyone else while wondering what’s real and what’s not and why would anyone wanna live like that fr? Idk - I know not everyone’s the same that stereotyping and wrong - but our elected officials, laws voted on/passed, volunteer work , and literal TRASH EVERYWHERE speaks for itself. Everything here is single use plastic wrapped in plastic and more plastic - it gets thrown in the trash - not recycled and ends up in the landfill or ocean? 🌊 maybe your yard, or soil? Gets burned? In the air, or you think mowing it up is cool? Nope microplastics in out soil, water, animals we eat, food, even in our own bodies and blood. It’s gross and I’m unable to eat lots of processed food now. It’s like- I feel wasteful supporting companies who use so much waste - but also preservatives, chemicals, dyes, idk. It’s so phony - obv some is okay & in moderation- but when everything is fast, easy, cheap, sugar, salty, or whatever- it’s all just fake food: I feel like I’m eating junk for every meal.

I want to learn all the native plants for my region so I know what grows best in the is climate survived winter and tolerates drought . I want to know all the plants you should never eat too obv. But gorilla gardening - is the best. Urban gardening. Setting up community gardens or growing food randomly <3 especially wild native plants and fruits /veggies (roots)!

^_^ I don’t like taking all of anything - little bit here little bit there & the rest for nature to work its magic- feed creatures, grow plants next year, whatever<3 I like knowing my plant from this year will kinda be with me when they grow from seed again. ^_^ I’ve gotten better with plants even with adhd and forgetting to water

If you live in apartments or rent- Raised garden beds can be made yourself EASILY- CHEAP- even free depending on the materials you can get for free from around your neighborhood (apps like let go and fb market place always have stuff for free - like fence boards & other stuff you gotta haul away yourself like bricks or stone or dirt or wood. You can build one with PVC pipe or Use a tote . They have all kinds of ways to grow food & flower where you can bring them with you easily - but honestly just pull back grass and make a garden -<3 but I’ve seen an old kitchen sink like a restaurant or auto shop sink- be used as a planter ! You can be artsy and creative . CHAOS GARDENING IS FUN & worth it.

Do whatever makes you happy but I promise bird baths and seed helped me in. Early recovery- then planting flowers & stuff helped me even more grounding and shutting my racing thought off & helping me plan for a future even just a tomorrow- helped with my depression and suicidal ideation & hopelessness / feeling lost. Now that I have been healing my inner child & attempting to address the trauma I experienced throughout my life - layer by layer : & fix relationships . … gardening has been a constant. Helped me take care of another living thing. Water; light; soil, correct environment-like the right pot/container; & kindness- be gentle & give the plant TLC & positive energy. I promise they grow better.

It’s okay if you lost some plants. Once you figure out what plants work easiest for you, you’ll get confident. Start out with easy plants, or things you use & a couple cacti- forget about them lol don’t over water ! ^_^ but an aloe plant is nice if you burn yourself - or GET PET SAFE PLANTS IF YOU HAVE CATS OR DIGS OR HORSES

you can plant wild flower seeds for your eco region anyplace outside too. You won’t get in trouble & it can be a secret- go make your neighborhood prettier ^_^ <3

Alright well random rant over

💟☮️☯️

⚛️

Kitty

[purplesurveys]

1905

Have you ever been considered popular? My high school friends were, and I also was part of the main friend group that my college org had...so I guess to an extent, I was. I was always the person who was a bit different than the rest of the people in those groups, though. I had vastly different interests in my personal life, but I guess it was my personality that helped me get close to those people. In any case, I never set out to be 'popular' and when I got included in those cliques I still actively tried to be as lowkey as possible and let the other girls shine lol.

Favorite undersea creature? Dolphins and whales :)

What types of things would you plant in a garden? I would not enjoy growing a garden.

Favorite type of fantasy creature? None.

Are you short or tall for your age? A bit on the shorter side but I'm not strikingly tiny. Everyone else is just like an inch or three taller hahaha.

Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No.

What was your first favorite band? Paramore.

Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? I visit my grandpa a few times a year. It helps that he's very close by.

Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? When it was new to me at the time, the internet. I was so reliant on it and was signing up for every website I could find, just crazily fascinated about this new online world I was exploring for the very first time. I lost a social life from it and also barely slept. I was irritable whenever I had to go outside because all I wanted was to be using my laptop again. I was also like...11. So pretty bad!

Have you ever had a hamster? Nope.

How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Three. Two memoirs, one novel.

Are you popular on any websites? Nah.

Ever been in the emergency room? I have not.

Are you subscribed to anything (magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? A handful of streaming sites + there's also a local animal shelter that has started a subscription feature where the funds go to their vet expenses and food. I love that they started that, but I'm hoping they can also consider opening up tiers because I'm super willing to pay more on a monthly basis.

Have you ever given a lap dance? I would hate being on either end the most.

Do bats frighten you? Yes. They're not common here, so it would feel unusual and freaky tbh.

Are you a KPOP fan? I'm more a BTS fan than anything, but I like certain songs from certain groups. After BTS, I like Seventeen and TXT.

Were you anyone’s first kiss? I think so, yes.

Will you keep your last name when you get married? I had planned to hyphenate it.

Are you biracial? Nope.

What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Idk, I don't spend like my life depends on it on clothes tbh. Probably something branded or merch.

Have you ever started a rumor? Gross, no.

Color of your bedspread? Beige.

Do you have a piggy bank? Nope.

Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? Neither ever happened to me.

What’s your favorite rock band? Paramore.

What color(s) eyeshadow do you wear the most? I don't put on eyeshadow.

Do you identify with any organized religion? I was born and raised in it, but I left because nothing about it made sense.

Have you read the book 13 Reasons Why or watched the show? Neither.

What is the sexiest part of the opposite sex’s body? Nothing in particular.

Are you confrontational? Never in a war freak way, but I am when I need to be.

Who was the last person you know (or that you know of) that died? A work contact's dad.

Does your first crush know that he/she was your first crush? Maybe? I don't know, I don't think much about these things anymore.

Do you like your butt? Sure.

Have you ever been to a night club? I have several times, yes

Do you believe in reincarnation? It's fun to theorize/fantasize about, but in the grand scheme of things I don't think it's true. There's nothing in death, at least for me.

Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? Nah, we never got to that point. Cooper can sit, high five, shake, and stand up though. He does kiss too but like super selectively, i.e. if there's food waiting for him LOL.

Do you use any styling products on your hair? Yup, I put serum in it as it helps lessen the friziness.

Do you have a favorite local band? Who are they? No one that stands out above the rest.

Do you use the Facebook chat often? Yeah, Messenger is all people use here.

Do you own a robe? What color is it? Nope.

Who ended your last relationship? She did.

Have you ever been engaged? Nope.

Do you have any bug bites on you right now? If so, where? I don't currently, thank goodness. They're such a nuisance when you do get them.

What is the biggest problem in your life right now? Just impostor syndrome following me around at work all the time.

How many pets do you have? Three.

Do you like tomatoes? No. I remove them from stuff when I can, haha.

When was the last time you shaved your legs? This morning.

Do you have any exes your parents never liked? My relationship was never out in the open with them.

Are you a fast or a slow eater? SLOW. Very slow. I will either take hours to finish a meal, or not finish it 100% if I need to leave/do something else already haha.

What was the last thing you purchased from a small local business? I guess this quaint cafe I'm in at the moment counts as a small business? I got their almond mocha latte and a ham and cheese panini. Both are very good!

Have you ever run from the police? Nope.

What does your wallet look like? It's pastel purple and has like a million and one slots inside.

Do you have any hickeys on you? Haven't had one of those in years.

If you had a son right now, what would you name him? Owen has always been a contender, after Owen Hart.

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year? Yes, we were together for six years total.

Have you ever done ballet? I took classes when I was 5, but I was terrible, couldn't follow instructions, and apparently was very prone to distraction. After that summer session, never dabbled in ballet again lol.

When was the last time you consumed alcohol? Two Wednesdays ago.

Are you interested in creative writing of any sort? No. I tried to make it my friend, but it just doesn't like me back.

Are any of your friends virgins? I don't think so. But I'm also honestly not so sure, we never talk about sex...

Who is the funniest person you know? Hans.

Are you overweight? The opposite – I'm underweight.

Ever had a black eye? Have not.

Last person to cuddle with? My ex, a long long very long time ago.

Have you ever lost a friend to drugs or alcohol? Nope.

Have you ever read a play outside of school? Uhhh no. I've watched a musical though if that counts?...I saw Miss Saigon twice a few months back.

Do you listen to music while you sleep? Nah, I prefer having videos in the background as it's the talking sounds that help me fall asleep much quickly.

Do you sell any products? If so, what? I mean, I'm in an agency so the job is technically selling our services but that's as far as it goes for me.

Do you own a bobblehead? Nope, not my style.

Do you like scrambled eggs? Love them.

What is currently happening that is scaring you? The Taylor Swift-Vienna thing is pretty freaky tbh. I feel bad for the fans but seeing the outpouring of support from the local community to give the Swifties as best an experience as possible without the concert was very heartwarming.

What was the last movie you saw and who did you watch it with? My sister turned on Contagion when my cousin and grandma came over last week. I watched bits of it but mainly stayed for Kate Winslet's scenes tbh hahaha.

Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No I cannot.

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Nah.

Can you do any impressions? My Mr. Bean is pretty spot on. I know so because it sends my sister laughing every time I do it. Hahahaha

Have you ever been kicked out of a public place? Why? Not kicked out but my group has gotten stares for being too noisy. I was always the one trying to ask them to shut the fuck up but would get overpowered.

Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? [TW: SUICIDE] Yeah, there's the day I decided not to push through with dying.

Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Only if it's in auto mode, which I know barely counts hah.

[deerydear]

Dear Diary....

The one thing that made me throw out that old Superiority-complex that I clung onto about my previous trans identity....

(I see the same in so many other tumblrite transitioners; but the psychoanalysts say that a superiority complex is just an inferiority-complex with a different coat of paint.

There are communities on tumblr that promote having this disguised inferiority-complex, as a token of "group membership"....

Oh yes, what's so great about being part of a group where everyone hates themselves so much that they need to go beg for love and attention from other people, because they can't give it to themselves?

What's the point of feeding someone who won't eat? What's the point of feeding someone who will not digest it? It passes right through them without absorbtion. They won't allow it in, even if you see them put it in their mouth. That's a fucking parade. It's a show.

Inside, they strangle it. They hate it. They don't want to get better. They want to put on a sick, tormented play. They are mimicking someone who was cruel to them. Until they figure out how to stop mimicking the behaviour, they will not improve.

The problem being when someone believes they are..."galvanized by their cruelty".

"You are Wrong, therefore I am Right!"

What if you're both wrong?

"Well, then my Wrong is better then theirs. My Wrong is cooler!"

They say that the opposite of a Simple truth is a falsity.

Profound Truths are recognized by the fact that the opposite is also a profound Truth.

Yet I believe that there are similarly Profound Falsehoods, whose polar opposites are also Profoundly false.

So what happens if one finds themselves living in a profound falsehood?

Well, I went through that process, as I began to enter adulthood.

I still feel like I'm feeling the pendulum lightly swing in the middle, as it tries to settle down.

It takes a lot of bravery.

You need to just sit back and watch the world, sometimes. Have the bravery to put something in the hands of the world. Let it shape your clay.

There are times where if you were to take any action, you would find yourself off the course of where you want to go.

Just as if you were on a sail-boat in the ocean, and the wind was blowing the opposite direction of where you want to be taken. If you have the sails unfurled, then it will push you along with it.

"Sitting and waiting is the name of the game."

Acting can be addictive.

I've heard people say that the human mind can addict itself to routine.

I think the key factor of addiction is repetition.

If you try something only once, just once..... and it has a bad come-down, then you just deal with the after-effects.

Don't reach for it again, or you will start this abusive relationship that you don't need to be in. The comedown is always there. It is part of the substance. It is a result of it, directly.

I think that part of the emotion of addiction is a forgetion that the negative withdrawal symptoms are FROM the addictive substance. One may start to tell themselves that that's just "what life is like without my [addiction]" "I can never leave, because this is waiting for me, outside".

but that monster is the person you chose as a lover.

I did cocaine once, thus far in my life. The come-down felt like literal Hell dragging on forever, as if it would never end.

I read an anecdote from someone who worked in a hospital, about a guy who ground his teeth in agony, while hissing "snakes and fire.... snakes and fire....." for hours. Torture.

I can't remember what drugs that guy had been on, but I remember that image so clearly.

I've heard it said that people can get addicted to the cocktails of chemicals that their own brains and bodies produce -- such as adrenaline junkies, but also porn addicts, and masochists. All sorts of different people. The ones I've named are just the ones who were floating near the surface of my mind. There may be more, deeper in.

I think that pain is such a strong emotion. Doesn't the body produce endorphins to level out the emotional field? Does it do this for emotional pain? I feel like it does.... or perhaps something similar.

So I think people can become addicted to experiencing emotional pain.

Gotta stop feeding that dragon, man.

The only way to get out is to stop. If you feed him a lot, he'll only want more. You have to get away.

What? So earlier, I started this off by talking about the one thing that made me get off my high horse about having identified as a super special trans glitterqueer faggot uberspecial not-straight not-cis better-than-the-boring-cishets..... what else can I throw in there.....

I had been reading the blogs of TERFs for a while, but they never convinced me, because they have that same stupid fucking victim-complex that the trans activists have. They just change the labels on the same shitty machine.

You secretly love evil, and so you rely on it. You claim to be good, and yet you believe the opposite of good is evil. You believe the function of good is to defeat evil, and so you create an adversary with which to "prove how good you are".

You look for a person who is fatter than you are, so that you can think to yourself, "at least I am not the fattest person in here".

I say, "look, two fat people!"

Comparison rots people's brains. Worry about yourself.

So what convinced me to let go of that secret clasp in my heart..... was just reading an online chat where normal people were making fun of the tumblr trans community. It had no "political agenda". It was based entirely on the words and actions of the people they were making fun of.

I mean, occasionally I had seen a few people who had some obvious "christian reason" for finding transsexuality disdainful, but most of the jokes were just, "LOL YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A GIRL, BUT YOU KEEP CLAIMING TO BE A BIG STRONG MAN!" or vice versa.

Not like, "hurr-hurr, gender roles", but.....

like if you saw a really ugly person claiming to be britney spears, or some famous person WHO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. and imagine the ugly person says, "I look just like her!" but with your own two eyes, you can see she looks literally nothing like her.

Now imagine a bunch of people decide to get together and tell this girl that she really is so gorgeous, so much in fact that no one should ever tell her she doesn't look like [a specific famous person]. Even though she doesn't look like that famous person at all.

(I don't give a shit about the 'gorgeous' part. That's subjective. The part to me that is important is the likeness.)

These people want to look like they're good people, for defending someone they see as 'so ugly'. They think this secretly in their minds, while complimenting her to her face. They act out of their own pity for her, which is so ugly of them.

Some of these people want to yell at anyone who tells her she doesn't, in actuality, look like that specific superstar. They think she can't handle the truth. They don't care about her humanity... only that "they look like good people", "they look like they're upholding their principles".

They try to get it made into a social norm that everyone is supposed to "tell her she looks like that supermodel". They wanna pass laws preventing anyone from telling her the truth.

I mean..... there might be other famous, talented people who do actually resemble her! Why does she need to look just like "this one"? Because the girl looks up to her?

Does the world bend for one person's temporary desire?

For all you know, she might wake up obsessed with something else, and forget all about that popstar!

Or this experience of being coddled so much might leave her a bit resentful towards to image of this popstar..... when she figures it out.

It's not the popstar's fault, it's just association.

I hope you like this metaphor, because I'm not pulling it out of my ass.

....back to that comedic chat.

The jokes they'd make about people like me were so accurate, based on observation of behaviour, not just pulled out of their imaginations.

...and they'd just laugh harder if one even attempted to throw some SJW hissy-fit and say, "YOU'RE ALL MEANY-MEAN OPPRESSIVE SHITLORDS! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW INSENSITIVE AND WRONG YOU ARE? THIS IS SO.... BAD!"

They say, "Lol, whatever you say!"

That's the problem with the approach of TERFs. They think that that performance is going to change the mind of someone who doesn't give two shits.

In fact, I started leaning into a 'male-like' identity, because I felt like it would be my excuse to step out of the feminist drama bullshit going on 24/7 on tumblr.

I said, "no, I don't give a shit about your so-called 'women's issues'."

So why do you think yelling in my face, "THESE ARE WOMEN'S ISSUES! CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE MAKING IT HARDER FOR ALL OTHER WOMEN? OPPRESSOR! OPPRESSOR!"

or

"YOU'RE JUST A TRAUMATIZED LITTLE VICTIM! DON'T WORRY, WE'LL CODDLE YOU. JUST MAKE SURE NO MEN COME NEAR YOU! MEN ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL WOMEN'S PROBLEMS."

um, okay.

I'm sorry that you apparently were born under a disgraceful father, but I was not.

I'm sorry that you suffered so, but I did not.

Maybe your life is different than mine. We are not the same.

You insisting so used to make me want to look for some 'justifying reason' that fit into your fucking framework, until I grew the balls necessary to tell you that you're fucking retarded; fuck off. Go rape yourself.

I don't care if you think you're high and mighty, drunk on politics, drunk on the feminist yes-men (yes-women).

You can tell yourself all the fairytales you want, but you are the tranny that you hate. Your mythology necessitates an evil infiltrator... some Evil to destroy. You choose not to be satisfied with peaceful life, and so you seek out and conjure up an adversary to blame. You are addicted to political drama. The end.

[seokgyuu]

My commentary on: Here comes the Sun after catching up >.< Part Dos

Chapter 7: I cannot with the 98s groupchat, please “strangers to lovers au”💀 seungkwan and chan casually talking about yns tweet has me dying, but I love seungkwan and Vernon’s different approaches to getting chan to ask YN out ㅠㅠ NOT HIM CALLING HER A GOOD GIRL BYE😭 I love how the 96s are just going in on YN over her texts with chan but I knew Woozi felt some type of way and I know wonwoo texted him and that’s on context clues🕵🏽

Chapter 8: I KNEW WONWOO JAD A FUCKING CRUSH ON HER TOO I KNEW IT but he’s so tragic like that’s noble of you to give up your crush for your friend but dang that’s angsty. She slapped cheol and struck fear into him we love that lol also her and Soonyoung bonding is so cute and fun

Chapter 9: DINOO YOU ARE BOLD💀 also Soonyoung stop please my sanity can’t EITH your jokes I’m smiling hysterically at my screen-.- they’re going on a date ahhh. Also YN is such a dumbass “take me out” in what context would be the other way😭 but Jihoon coping with his crush by being passive aggressive 💔😭

Chapter 10: Joshua please stop and let your true self show for once for Jeonghan’s sanity🤡 I love how invested the oldies are in yns business to the point where they’re dropping what they’re doing to go get the tea straight from her on her dinner with Soonyoung. Such a ride or die friend group😭

Chapter 11: of course we start the chapter with JiHan bickering lol and cheol has to mediate between them😭but Wonwoo is such a good friend to Woozi consoling him about his crush crushing on another man and going on a date with him. Idk I like how their crush on tan made them bond it’s kind of touching like you can tell wonwoo really cares and wants Woozi to be happy :(

Chapter 12: I love how the plot just TAKES A TURN lmaaoo😭💀 it was so refreshing to see the 97s again after only appearing at the beginning of the story!! As a fellow caffeine drinker I feel personally victimized by wonwoo help but I still love him though he’s just being caring 😭 also Mingyu developing a crush on Yn is so juicy and chaotic especially when chan is also his friend?!

HELLO i am sorry i fell asleep last night before I could answer 🥹. but let’s dive right into it!!!

the 98s… a different bunch fr, and the good girl … just spot on chan, like… damn. you are such a good detective i swear you’re gonna fade through this predicting all the twists and turns 😭😭

wonwoo is in fact a tragic little man. he is very selfless i guess, or is he? ig that will show with time 💃🏼. he does have his reasons and jihoon doesn’t know them so he is just like ??? dude tf. soonyoung and her friendship is so cute, but tbf all her friendships with the 96s boys are special in their own little way 🥹.

the take me out was SOOO 👎🏼 like obv he won‘t k word you, yn 😭 get a grip!!! but at least she is going on a date with him you know, like that’s her DREAM. only took her absolutely embarrassing herself for that to happen 🤡.

gonna be honest, joshua had a good start and now the 95 presence is getting weak i need to give them some more screentime JFJD if only to have joshua swear or smth and have everyone shook. omg the insta posts that day were so fun but also a pain in the ass i won’t even lie 😭 so much work, but it was worth it 💞 lmao jfjd.

cheol is indeed jihans mediator i think without him there would be blood. and yes as mentioned before wonwoo is a selfless dude and he just wants jihoon to be happy :( too bad jihoon is veeeery sure yn would never look at him that way 💔.

AAAAND we‘ve gotten to the thickening of the plot 👀. ah yes the appearance of one handsome kim mingyu, what a moment. and yo i am also a coffee or well caffeine addict i has three cups of coffee and two cans of energy drink last night the fact i fell asleep and did not have a heartattack instead js actually a miracle and should be medically investigated fr. and yes mingyu liking yn and chan liking yn… yn such a popular girly without even knowing it (yet).

thank you again for this amazing commentary, this makes the start of my day perfect 🩷🩷🩷

[khaopybara]

Thank you for tagging me! This is a first, so excuse me while I probably write a bunch of nonsense.

I must say, right, coming in, I already had my favorites, but as we're in episode 6 already, I'm impressed to see that some of the rankings switched.

1 - RAY

I wish I could say this is unexpected, but since fandom became a part of my life back in like 2013, I've noticed that I have an inclination to liking underdogs and misunderstood characters. He has a lot of faults (way too many, and I excuse most of them. I am a Ray Apologist, after all), but he's such a compelling character and he makes you want to root for him to get better and do better and feel better. He's such a layered character and there's quite a bit that I relate to him in different levels, too. I love how he's messy and he knows he's an asshole, but he owns up to his shit. I also think that what caught me off guard with Ray is how communicative he is. Yes, he's a mess, but he asks Sand all the time if he's okay with their arrangement, how he's feeling, if he has any questions for him. He's also loyal, and despite not being a good friend necessarily, he values his relationships (except when he's on a murder spree as we've seen in his attempt to sever the bridges between him and his friends) and cares for them.

(When he tells Top he has been taking great care of HIS Mew, or when he tells Mew that he's okay that he's not the person who can given him (Mew) happiness, I totally believe him. The SA when Mew slept over at his place? I don't think there was a single part of him that believed that would make Mew realize his dormant feelings for him, but an attempt to sort his own shit out).

I could seriously go on and on about how much I hope he gets nice things and stop believing he's a bad luck charm, but I can't articulate that in a way that makes sense so I'll stop. Khaotung's portrayal of him is absolutely stunning and I'm loving every piece of it.

2 - BOSTON

I know, very unpopular opinion because everyone and their mothers wants to strangle this son of a bitch, but listen, he's amazing. He's manipulative, gets what he wants, the way he wants, he's charming and a vicious player. I wouldn't want him as a friend never in my life because he's an instant red flag.

Remember how I said that with Ray, I'm rooting for him to get better and do better? It's the complete opposite with Boston. I hope he gets worse. I hope he does his worst. I don't want him to have a sob background story because some people are just assholes because they can and they'll be because things work out for them that way. I love this man at the same time that I completely despise his existence. I'm also of the opinion that no one else could have played Boston and make me like him as much as I do, if it wasn't Neo playing him (this comes from someone who only watched Neo in The Eclipse, and I didn't like Khan all that much, and Vice Versa). I have this opinion for all of the cast, to be honest. The casting for this show was phenomenal.

3 - SAND

No one is surprised that Sand's high up on the list. Yes, he has showed himself as a bit shady, but so far, it seems like he has the best moral compass out of the seven of them (but honestly that's not a requirement to be high on my list. The alcoholic and addict is my number 1, and the manipulative whore is top 2). Sand is just a dude trying to get by. I think what solidified his spot for me was when he talked about what he wants to do with his life in episode 5. He wants to belong to a group and enjoy the things he likes and be able to support himself to do those things. Who can't relate to that? I want him to get those things! He's caring and attentive, but he's still sarcastic and knows how to throw back. He's not a saint, and he doesn't try to appear as one.

His only fault (besides the crippling insecurity that stops him from being direct with Ray about his feelings that is probably associated with his financial status) is that he doesn't take more people to see his mom. I have no words for Sand's mom besides she's great and gorgeous (scratch all the rest. Sand's is number 3 because I like his mom).

4 - MEW

Not gonna lie, Mew wouldn't be this high on the list if it wasn't for his bad bitch moment at the end of episode 6 and because he warned Top that he was a clingy and possessive bitch back in episode 1. I love how he knows his boundaries, though. And he calls out people for overstepping. He doesn't let others step on him. I don't think he's a bad friend, but he's a friend who doesn't know how to help and deal with the problems of his friend group. He has his own idea of how things should be and applies that to his life, and wants others to do the same (Boston to settle down and Ray not to be Ray), so it's really intriguing to me how someone with such a high opinion of themselves will approach revenge and pay back. I'm excited for Mew's bad bitch era.

5 - NICK

Oh Nick. You're such a darling. Obsessive and law breaking darling. Self-punishing and with low self-esteem darling. You're creepy, hun, and it's not only because you're super invested in having something with the likes of Boston. You're not blind to the red flags, you've seen them and decided you could handle it. Nick is such a driving force for the plot of the first part, if we think about it, since there wouldn't be an exposée if Nick didn't decide that breaking into people's belongings was a good idea. I totally believe what he tells Top about being just as bad as Boston, but he's a diluted version of his bae.

6 - CHEUM

We don't have enough of her for me to speak about Cheum and put her in a higher place, to be honest. I love how enthusiastic she is about her projects and her friends, but she's a bit too dense most of the time. I love my lesbian, and I love that she at least apologized to April and promised not to lie anymore, but her obsession with our boy Top is a bit too much. Now that I think about it, he's hot and smart, and apparently takes good care of her friend, so I can see why she thinks he's an eligible bachelor, but she lost some points for playing down Ray (saying he's too stubborn and that's why he doesn't have a lover, and when they are talking to their teacher. That's why I wasn't surprised when Ray went for her first during The Scene).

7 - TOP

I feel sorry for Top. Yes, he's a cheater, yes, he goes after people in relationships, yes, he thinks he's the best option, yes, he's excessively jealous and possessive, yes, he doesn't communicate well, but throw the first stone if you never met a jock with high self-esteem, I mean. He's very in character. But he's also very boring to me. That's it.

OF Favorites Rankings

I did this once before the series aired, but I thought it’d be fun to rank the core characters in OF in the middle of the series’ run and once more at the end.

I’m gonna tag some of my active OF moots here (and some new OF friends as well!) if any of you want to play too—no pressure at all! And of course, even if you aren’t tagged, please feel free to play along! I’m super curious to see how opinions have changed from the beginning to the middle to the end. :)

@abstractelysium @nihilisticcondensedmilk @just-gm @firstkanaphans @prapaiwife @dreamedofyou @sandrayy @fanfictionroxs @khaopybara @tiedankelstotheocean @thegalwhorants @autisticbokutoenthusiast @itsmelb @way-too-indecisive @k-white @waitmyturtles

1. Sand

Of course it was going to be Sand in first place (get it…First place?)

He might be morally dubious in Ep6, but if anything, that makes him more endearing to me (don't ask me how). If they all play dirty, he can play dirty too. Plus, he's just got the vibe. The t-shirts, the jackets, the boots, the independence. The superior music taste? Mans has it all except for money. Though tbh, the moment that solidified Sand as my favorite was when he ran after Ray at the end of Ep6--he was just dealt a personal attack by Ray in front of everyone, but he doesn't even hesitate to go after him. And that is the marker of a ✨ favorite character ✨

2. Ray

Naturally, both Sand and Ray have taken the top spots (pun intended), and it's because I have a special place in my heart for "woobified" characters (did I use that right @waitmyturtles? 😂)...and Khaotung executes his layers so beautifully. Ray did go in for a nonconsensual kiss (which he later apologized for, but I digress) and he did hash out some pretty brutal insults last episode. Irrespective of his feelings for Sand, it's indisputable that he has used him in some aspect to distract himself from Mew. So for all that, Ray is also morally dubious--but I'll use the term realistic instead.

I just want to give him a hug and tell him that he matters. Because clearly that is something he's heard only a few times in his life. And maybe if he heard it more often, we could avoid situations like the one at the end of Ep6.

3. Nick

I’m having a bit of an inner battle with myself over this one because Nick came out of the gate with some very immoral behavior, and yet I’m still putting him above Mew, because something about him is just so…pitiful. Admittedly, I've been growing more and more frustrated with him as the series goes on and he still fights for Boston's affection when Boston has proven time and time again that he just doesn't care. Boston keeps him on a rope, and in some ways I sympathize with Nick's struggles, because it isn't easy to turn the feelings off once they've already been cemented. But alas. He's digging himself further and further into this hole.

4. Mew

A lot of my gripes with Mew have been in respect to his treatment of Ray, but I go back and forth because I do understand the mental toll it must take on him. Regardless of whether or not he's responsible for helping Ray through his mental issues, as his closest friend, I think it should've been him running after Ray at the end of Ep6. Yeah, Ray said some shitty things about everybody, but Ray has only ever wanted what is best for Mew. And Mew was going to watch him run off and potentially get himself killed, even after Ray admitted what Top had done. Something about that just doesn't sit right with me.

Despite all of this, Mew does appear to be the most level-headed of the group (alongside Sand, though that was put to the test last ep). And the moment he played TopBoston’s sex audio right in Top’s ear? Phenomenal. He nailed that execution. I will laugh when he's on his revenge kick next week.

5. Cheum

Cheum is this low firstly because she doesn't get a lot of screen time, and secondly because she's made some comments that are a little questionable too. I can't remember who said it, but someone pointed out just how often she references how lucky Mew is to be with Top--which is a little strange, looking at him like he's some big prize. Also, not to bring everything back to Ray but...she contributes to the "burden" discussion quite a few times.

I do really enjoy the small snippets we've gotten of her with April. I like that they finally gave their relationship a little bit more context in Ep6. They do seem to have some pretty solid communication (at least compared to the others) so I'm pleased with that.

6. Top

I know a lot of people have felt sorry for Top. And I understand that completely. I struggle to given that he not only cheated but lied about the cheating--and likely would never have admitted to it. For Mew, someone who values communication and honesty so strongly, it's like a punch to the face. I hope Top gets what's coming to him. (Also, stealing Sand's boyfriend? Wtf dude.)

7. Boston

Not much to explain about this one--I can understand why he is some peoples' favorite for the sole reason that he is the one creating all the conflict in the first place. But he's so twisted, manipulative, and careless that I just want Mew to kick him into that pool a hundred times over. I don't expect him to rise from last place by the end, but if he does, it'll be a miracle.

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 7

gemini and pisces placements are similar in the sense that geminis are able to see things from all perspectives, while pisces are able to empathise with people who have all sorts of different perspectives. pisces placements... be careful with over-empathising with the people who hurt you to the point where you’re understanding why they did it and you start excusing their actions. gemini placements... be careful with seeking the multi-layers and million different perspectives in everything and everyone to the point where you’re driving your own mind insane and you don’t know what your opinion is anymore because you hyper-analyse so much. too much of a good ability becomes a curse.

people with venus-mars aspects have a talent for making people who hate them fall in love with them 💋

moon in the 11th house natives tend to attract friends who get into scandals. moon in the 10th house natives tend to be the ones who get into said scandals. it’s a PERFECT FRIENDSHIP

capricorn placements have a talent for knowing how to make things last. they want to prolong the enjoyment they get out of something for as long as possible, which is why their hobbies, friendships and relationships tend to last a lifetime... hedonistic sluts

since both the 7th house and the 11th house rule fandoms, celebrities with a 7th house or 11th house neptune can attract fans who view them as angels who can’t do nothing wrong — because of this, those celebrities rarely take accountability for their mistakes, since people keep pushing the “but they’re perfect :(“ light on them

pluto conjunct ascendant natives always come off as very serious during first impressions, no matter how approachable and inviting they strive to appear.

sun and moon in the 10th house people may feel as if they’re always exposed to the public eye, they can’t get away with keeping things secretive. others always notice whatever they want kept on the low. this can be especially frustrating if they notice that others aren’t exposed to the same kind of scrutiny that they are for simply existing

lilith in pisces bitches have a natural talent for appearing like angels even in situations where they are 100% guilty. it’s very easy for them to put on their vulnerable, lost puppy act lmfao, which triggers others’ protective instincts. they may be able to cry on cue when people call them out on their bullshit, making them feel like THEY’re the shitty ones for confronting the lilith native... it’s insane

lilith in the 12th house natives may feel as though the themes of lilith are trapped in their psyche, at the core of who they are and those themes become unavoidable for them — they’re always there, lurking in the shadows, becoming the center of their nightmares

people with mercury in the 1st house can feel veryyy threatened and defensive when someone possesses knowledge in an area that they don’t, it’s like it hits them right on their biggest fears. they often either try to “one-up” the other person in an attempt to heal their broken ego or shut down altogether in insecurity. it’s imperative that they work on developing a strong sense of self-worth because they can be extremely prone to comparing their mental skills to those of other people.

people with personal planets in the 12th house may feel as though a lot of their artistic drive is stifled by their lack of energy. like... in the mental realm there’s a lot going on and it’s incredible, but then you pick up a pen to actualize your visions and you feel exhaustion immediately overtaking you. it can feel like there’s a lot to your psyche that feels inaccessible to you not because you don’t want to explore it, but because you have yet to restore the energy to dive deep into it. this can be especially noticeable if there’s absolutely no 5th house energy in the chart

people with jupiter in an earth sign love being surrounded by greeneries in their home; they may take a lot of enjoyment out of taking care of plants, gardening, cooking and stuff of the sort. it makes them feel more grounded, independent, and even healed. they also LOVE scents that connect them to nature like the scent of grass and the ocean.

air mercuries can be very beware of strangers, they can feel offended when their friends make them socialize with someone they don’t know and it can take a hot while before they trust the person enough to lower their defences a bit. they need to know it’s safe before expressing their usual sexy eccentric selves in front of someone new. on the other hand, aries placements can also hate being introduced to new people through their friends but it’s mostly because they’re very territorial over them, and can’t stand the thought that this new person can hurt their friendship in any possible way

meanwhile, it’s probably an earth or leo/sagittarius mercury introducing new friends to the group. they’re so fucking good with people and it shows in how they make people feel welcomed so easily, it’s like they “take” the person in and adopt them into the group. they can’t stand seeing someone being treated like an outcast because they know how it sucks to feel rejected, so they’ll try their best to make you feel included

while on the subject of people who hate seeing others be treated like an outcast because they know how it feels like to be rejected: SCORPIO RISINGS. bro. people underestimate how chill they can actually be. if they see you being left out, they’ll approach you with no fucks given and do anything in their power to make you feel comfortable. they do so well in group settings.

and while on the subject of scorpio risings... i have a scorpio rising friend and he goes thru it on the daily. he often complains that people are always suspicious of him and that they seem repulsed by him, strangers on the street will stay tf away from him. and it’s so heartbreaking because his personality is so friendly and welcoming and it doesn’t at all match his intimidating appearance. scorpio risings have this energy that not many people can handle, others feel either really drawn to them or downright scared of them because of the “danger” element they seem to carry in them

i know two people who are both scorpio suns and libra moons and they look the exact same, even though they have different risings. brown, deep-set eyes, coarse dark hair, naturally tanner skin tone — and they have the same style as well, using lots of band t-shirts and dark clothing. scorpio energy is always so noticeable wherever it is i swear, it’s like it takes over the rest of the chart

gemini moons are what yall claim gemini venuses to be. like, seriously... have you ever met someone with a gemini venus? they don’t need constant stimulation or else they’ll get bored and cheat. not in the slightest; actually, they’re often incredibly loyal and crave longterm, committed relationships. if anything, they need stimulation outside of their relationship in the form of a good, exciting career and hobbies so that they don’t get too addicted to their partner and to constantly analysing every aspect of their relationship. gemini moons however, tend to have multiple partners throughout life and they often feat deep commitment. they can be huge players imo, IT’S THEM YOU SHOULD BE WORRIED ABOUT!

sagittarius placements are so... tactile? like, they love to touch things. when they go to stores and stuff, they’ll start holding everything that catches their attention— it’s like they can only decide if they want to buy something after thouroughly exploring how it feels, the texture and the energy that the object gives them through touch. and they talk so much with their hands. it makes me so anxious like bitch you aren’t selena gomez, i promise you that you CAN keep your hands to yourself

taurus placements are so weird to me, i can’t understand them. it’s like they’re afraid of exploring their own depths, which in turn makes me unable to explore them. okay, how do i put this... it’s like they have this preset idea of who they are and after deciding so, they’re unwilling to let go of it. “i’m the stable friend who’s here for everyone even when i can barely take care of my own self” and then that’s who they are: the people who are a steady rock in the lives of others, taking care of everyone. and then they refuse to change even after getting hurt. and then, it’s like... well, you can’t just be that. you are a human who contains multitudes, but i don’t think you give yourself enough credit on how layered you are. that fear of changeability, that need to be the one stable thing in a world full of unpredictability will only damage you in the end, because you won’t get to fully experience life’s greatest pleasure: knowing yourself. becoming your own best friend, exploring every layer that there is to your being. i think you deny yourself of that experience because you fear that, with self-learning comes self-growth which leads to transformation. and you fear transformation because you don’t want to change for the worst. but like... transformation is necessary and with that comes adaptability + flexibility, which are things you could greatly benefit from.

scorpio venuses can be so pessimistic— and when they’re in a dark mindset, it’s so difficult to pull them out of it. it’s so difficult to get them to see the good in difficult situations, and to help them believe that it gets better. but even if you don’t believe me, i’ll keep telling you; it does get better. you’ll get through this.

jupiter in the 4th house is an indicator of food having been an amazing part of your childhood; there might’ve been a lot of feasts and you could’ve had a parent who loved to cook. being well fed might be a huge concern for you now; you might get sick easily when you’re eating fast food and non-traditional plates.

mercury square uranus is an extremely difficult aspect to have because, in your earlier years, you might’ve felt dumb or like there was something wrong with your intelligence because you might’ve found school difficult due to it’s structured nature that didn’t fit with the way you like to learn things— you need to learn in an interactive way that piques your interest. your anxiety and any traumatic experienced that you faced could’ve heavily impacted your school performance. you might’ve had an ease with learning but then, when it came to doing the written tests, you couldn’t perform to the best of your abilities. either way, school might’ve been a source of a lot of stress and difficulty.

mercury square pluto can have some weird manifestation where, like... you suspect things but you always suspect the wrong things. i’ve met a few people with this aspect and all of them were extremely suspicious of the most random things who were literally normal and innocent. this aspect can cause a lot of chaos to one’s interpersonal relationships because you might find yourself suspecting your loved ones in the weirdest circumstances due to your trust issues, which in return causes them to lose trust in you + the want to confide in you because you keep questioning everything they’re up to WHEN THEY’RE NOT UP TO ANYTHING IN THE FIRST PLACE. probably the most frustrating thing that can happen with this aspect is when you always suspect what you shouldn’t, but then, when sketchy things are actually happening that should be questioned, you don’t bat an eye to it. omfg it drives me insane

moon conjunct the ascendant can make someone have a very delicate appearance that gives others the impression that they need to handle you like fine china or else you might break. my mother has this at a very tight orb and whenever i bring people over, their first impression of her is always “she looks so frail”. the native might be extremely sensitive to every minor inconvenience which brings a lot of frustration to them, a feeling that they can’t control their reactions and inner turmoil. it can also suck when you don’t want to be depicted as the victim but then that’s the way everyone perceives you. the native might have very expressive and shiny eyes, and they can cry easily. it’s very difficult for them to hide their emotions.

your jupiter sign can signify where you feel an overflow of energy. jupiter in cancer may feel like you have an overflow of nurturing and protective energy towards your loved ones, with a lot of intuition and need for introspection. jupiter in leo can make you feel like you a talent for self-expression and dealing with others, being overly dramatic and prideful at times, and with a huge drive to have fun. jupiter in virgo can feel an overflow of perceptive qualities, with a huge amount of self-awareness and also awareness of your surroundings, ability to constantly analyse and a constant strive for perfection (which btw is impossible since perfection is unattainable and you’re a human being who makes mistakes and that’s completely fine. stop finding flaws where there aren’t none).

[goddess-pan]

Tailor!Reader in Dream SMP

Dsmp x reader prompt; Tailor!Reader in Dream SMP. Credit would be appreciated so more people can find this and make their own things based on it.

Can fully be read as platonic. GN!reader with they/them pronounce as a placeholder so anyone can adapt it however they want. Both general and character specific parts included.

Characters who have a lot written for/about; Eret, Ranboo, Foolish, Tommy, Technoblade, Philza and Michael. Mentioned; Tubbo, Sam Nook, Purpled and Foolish Jr.

This ended up being super long so I’m putting it under the cut in order not to clutter people’s pages. My personal favourite part is Phil’s and Techno’s part. These could be read as headcanons but are still available as a prompt(s) to use for anyone.

------------------------------

The reader joining after the doomsday as a time frame in my mind.

The reader helping people patch up their current clothes since most of it got pretty banged up during the doomsday, and it's not like they can just go get a new outfit since quite a few people had just lost all their belongings and only had the clothes on their back. So at first prioritizing helping patch up the current clothing people were wearing and then moving on to making some simple fast to make and easy on the resources clothes for people. Just like basic shirts and shorts/pants, nothing fancy. Then when everyone has at least a couple of different clothes to change to and from starting their own business to sell people more if they wanted. However waving payment if they brought them the materials and what they wanted wasn't overly complicated.

People at first thinking they are just some chump who knows basic sewing or something. A very kind chump, but still a chump. So imagine their surprise when one day they are just walking by the reader's now established tailors and they see these absolutely stunning designs displayed at the windows. 

Just like their reactions seeing these beautiful designs they can't help but stare at. I'd imagine some of them just doing a double take when they walk by, someone pressing their face up to the glass trying to see it closer, the braver ones going inside and talking to the reader about their designs and the more anxious and/or shy ones only going inside when the reader isn't there to look at designs closer. 

And the reasons they like/are amazed by the designs vary also ! Some just have monkey brain that goes "Pretty. WANT", some who just love the colour and art of the pieces, some who imagine how epic this design or others would look on them, some who love the fashion aspect of it and of course the very small portion who actually know anything about tailoring/sewing and the amount of work that goes into making something intricate.

Some specific character/group interactions I thought of;

Making warm well insulated clothes for people moving to Snowchester so they don't freeze. +A warm cape for Ranboo for the same reason.

Eret being one of the firsts (if not the first) to get himself a fully tailored and customized outfit. Them also being the first and very possibly only person to get a dress or a skirt since most of the other people on the server prefer to wear pants (excluding maid dresses which people might get as joke). The reader crying in joy for getting to design something different for once. And hey if the reader ends up making a few extra ones that she didn't order, but decided to give her anyway it was all just some extra ones they had lying around, never mind the fact that the dresses/skirts are perfectly tailored for Eret and are her style. Just a coincidence, nothing suspicious there. Eret also models for the reader and once he even convinced them to hold a fashion show to showcase some of their work to the whole server. Of course he was the main model presenting the outfits.

At start of the reader beginning to display their designs at their shop Ranboo sees a really cool looking suit on display and his brain just goes "Want." He probably wouldn't be able to buy anything pre-made and be comfortable in it due to his physique. And him having just moved into the arctic and only starting to get settled in, he doesn't have comfortable enough funds for him to get something as expensive as a custom tailored suit AND have enough for any possible rent that he might be required to pay. 

Eventually when he gets richer he starts considering getting one but the anxious side of him always ends up winning and he doesn't. However once he finally gets the courage to go commission the suit for himself he doesn't regret it at all. The reader did their best to not overwhelm him and to make it the best possible experience. Just imagining the absolute joy he would feel for having a properly fitting suit that's made just for him, not too short sleeves nor too wide torso and shoulders, just perfect. If he ends up ordering a couple more suits that's between him and the reader. He actually ends up probably being their most frequent and reliable customer.

And we should all know why that is, but let me clarify just in case; Michael.

The reader basically becoming Michael's personal stylist (/hj) . Not only does Ranboo buy a god awful amount of clothes for Michael, the reader also makes some free ones for him. The free ones are things the reader felt like designing since they absolutely adore Michael and the ones Ranboo pays for are commissioned by him. Michael absolutely has the biggest wardrobe in the whole server. The reader learning how to make plushies so Michael could have some more toys, this learning experience including learning to crochet and knit to see what he like best.

Using their newly acquired plush making skills, the reader starts their quest to make some plushies for others after seeing people stare at the plushies wistfully either while they were working on them or seeing Michael with the plushies. People who got them include the minors, their close friends and basically anyone they thought might benefit from them. Some of the ones they made (that I could think of);

Of course a bee for Tubbo, but also throwing in a little ram one as well

Ranboo gets a grass block plush/pillow

Tommy gets a cobblestone block plush and a cow plush. He also later receives a Sam Nook plush while he's working on the hotel

Purpled getting two different sized ufos, one to hold and the other more of a big pillow

Eret definitely gets a flamingo plush

Foolish gets a totem and a gold block plushies

Phil gets crow plush as well these tiny fake coin and gem plushies (the latter causes problems for him which I'll expand upon later)

Techno gets a pig one as well as polar bear one

Back to the individual/group part

The reader just chilling w/ Foolish as a fellow artists. Them talking about both their arts and catching up every time the reader comes to deliver something to Snowchester when Foolish is building the mansion. Just two pretty peaceful artists talking about their passions. I’d imagine Foolish and the reader could relate to each other and their place in the server due to their similar hobbies/jobs as well as their similar time of joining the server. Foolish's first commission from them being an intricate blanket for Foolish Jr so he could have a more comfortable resting place. He may or may not end up receiving that and several other (though less intricate) blankets as well as a tiny shark plush to give to Foolish Jr. Later on when the reader gets better at either knitting or crocheting they end up making a tiny shark jumper with a hood for Foolish Jr as well. Foolish would definitely cry when he sees his tiny shark baby. Any commissions of clothes for himself tend to always take some time due to sheer amount of work needing to be done due to his size so he always makes sure the reader doesn’t already have a lot on their plate and that they know he’s fine with waiting if they need to take a break from it.

Then there's Tommy, who they sometimes teach more about sewing since he already knows some basics. Him probably being the first person aside from Michael they make a plush for, due to him demanding one once he saw the reader making them. Then proceeding to get three plushies in rapid succession. The first being the cobblestone, the second being the cow and the third one being the Sam Nook one. He ends up losing one of them during the prison fiasco and when the reader asks if he'd like a new one they only get the answer of "Don't want to think about what happened and the same one might make me do that". He then promptly receives new clothing (so he isn't wearing the same ones he was wearing in prison) and some extra blankets (for comfort) from the reader. 

After Tommy meeting Michael does he use him to scam the reader to make them matching outfits for free? Yes, yes he does. Does it work? Yes, yes it does. Are they bothered by it? Not really, they look adorable in their matching outfits.

The reader being the source for Sam Nook's construction gear/clothes or at least the original patterns for them.

And then there's the arctic boys (minus Ranboo, who will still get mentioned) who are an interesting bunch clothing wise. The first one to commission the reader out of them would be Phil who got the original warm cape for Ranboo but also at the same time commissioned one for himself that would include slits for his wings. Eventually getting to design clothing for him which is always an exciting challenge with his wings. And when Phil finally manages to convince Techno to get something made for himself as well, Techno almost immediately gets addicted to having high quality clothing when they finish their first piece for him. The fun the reader has designing clothes for these boys is immeasurable with their different styles and needs in the clothing. Aside from clothing Techno also commissions them for a pet bed for Steve. 

When the boys got their plushies it was adorable but also a very chaotic. Techno giving his pig one to Steve so he wouldn't miss him when he was away from home, but also bringing the polar bear one with him when he couldn't or wasn't allowed to bring Steve with him but still needed comfort. While on Phil's side of things; he was showing his crows the crow plushie joking about he'll replace them if they aren't careful however he made the mistake of showing them the tiny coin and gem plushies as well. I want you to imagine hundreds of crows descending upon this poor fool of a man in the background while the reader is walking away hoping they like their plushies. 

The war that ensued the couple following days amongst the crows starts to cool down but the bickering doesn't, every waking moment Phil can feel eyes on him and one or more of the crows coming to complain about the others having had the shiny plushies for too long. He quickly caves under the pressure and commissions more of the tiny shiny treasure plushies. And by more I mean a lot more. 

When he finally has enough of the things he goes around distributing them to the crows. Finally a moment of peace, but he still feels like something is staring at him occasionally. Deciding to ignore it since it's finally quiet he goes to makes himself a cup of tea and while waiting for the water to boil he fishes out the few shiny plushies he had saved for himself. The second he does he feels eyes burning into him and now that it's quiet he hears it, quiet muffled snuffles and snorts of discontent. Then he sees what ‘it’ is, it's Techno behind the window looking at the shinies in his hand with such intensity Phil fears for his life (/hj). Phil just sighs deeply before walking over to the window and opening it. For a second Techno looks like a deer in headlights before returning to intensely staring at the shinies in Phil's hand before Phil just dumps the shiny plushies into Techno's hand and closes the window. Happy piglin noises can be heard outside while Phil debates the pros (getting to have shinies himself) and cons (the embarrassment of having to commission even more of the shiny plushies than he already has) of getting new ones from the reader. And in all this the reader has no idea the amount of chaos they inadvertently caused.

And finally; Techno commissioning robes/cloaks for whole the Syndicate to wear in their meetings, because he’s dramatic like that. But since he’s a thoughtful guy, he wants them all to fit the members well and not be uncomfortable to wear so he gets everyone’s measurements. Once he has them all he goes to the reader with the order for the robes, he has all the measurements written down under just Person 1, Person 2 etc. to keep their anonymity and when asked what the robes are for he just tells the reader it’s a book club. When he gets them all and the reader asks no further questions he thinks he’s gotten away with getting some cool robes for the Syndicate with their secrets safe. Little does he know the reader actually now knows all the members in the Syndicate since they can just reference the gotten measurements with everyone’s measurements written down from previous work done by them. Whether the reader thinks it’s some weird cult they all are a part of or just an actual book club people are too embarrassed to admit they are in, is up to interpretation. 

[nobodysdaydreams]

Good response above and long story made even longer, you can tell whether an author is presenting something as “good” or “bad” by the message of the book.

For example, hot take, but I don’t think there are a lot of topics that are actually “bad” to write about. War, murder, violence, racism, drug addiction, abuse, etc. happen in real life. It makes sense that people would write and talk about them. But how you do that makes a big difference.

I understand and appreciate tumblr/AO3 culture of “just because an author writes about one of these topics doesn’t mean they endorse it! It’s just fiction” because I think people often miss that point. However, I also think some people have a hard time understanding why I can read something about a survivor of assault learning to get their voice back or get justice and be fine with it, but make assumptions about them and their notably large amount of posts and fics repeatedly excusing and glorifying violence against young women because “it’s just fiction and it’s describing the same thing as what you can read in other fics what is the difference?”

Like, you’re right, it’s “just fiction” but you still made the decision to sit down and write an excessive amount about hating someone and enjoying violence against a certain group of people rather than about the effects of that harm on the victim and that fact that this is a very bad and dehumanizing thing.

Here’s a famous example. Take Rick Riordan, author of the Percy Jackson series (I’m old so I really only read the first series years ago, so please lmk if this is inaccurate or outdated info). But in the first book series, Luke (24m) asks Annabeth (16f) if she ever loved him. Very awkward, very uncomfortable, but Annabeth says no and it’s very much shown that Luke was in the wrong there and as far as I know Rick hasn’t brought up any uncomfortable age gaps since. However, if after that plot point happened, there were suddenly a ton of similar instances in his books of “oh this mythical creature is 40 but he looks 15 so it’s fine” or “well they were dating when she was a freshmen and he was a senior so it’s okay” or “yeah so he’s in his 20s and she’s in high school, but they were fated by the gods to be together and their ages can’t come between that” or “19 is old enough to date the 30 year old camp counselor and look how cute it is they’re in love and he’s taken care of her since she was 10” and then Rick was in an interview and said something about how “he always thought Luke and Annabeth would have been good together and their story is kind of a tragedy in that regard” then I think we’d all have a few questions that wouldn’t be solved with a simple “y’all it’s just fiction, relax 🙄” .

To summarize: There is a difference between glorifying bad behavior and simply writing about it, and most people know it when they see it. But if you’re ever wondering which the work is doing, ask yourself what message the author wants you to walk away with. What behaviors are they excusing? What behaviors do they say “aren’t that bad in this case actually, because XYZ”? Is there a certain vulnerable group or minority that their writing often targets that the author themselves is not a part of (particularly children or people in desperate situations)? What would you conclude the author is trying to tell you based on these passages alone?

Side note: The rant is already too long but since nuance is often lost I suppose I ought to add that there is also a difference between forgiving a bad person and showing that everyone makes mistakes and can get better vs. excusing their abusive behavior and giving them a boundary free and consequence free pass despite an apparent lack of remorse.

I have a question for my fellow Christians. When watching a show/movie, how do you tell if something is merely portraying sin, or glorifying it? Can you give some examples of both?

@gracefulchristiangirl @thefinaljediknight @tunguszka20 @noideawhattodoorsay I know I am missing people I should be tagging but my brain is not working. Feel free to tag others