#i think that is the true meaning of success
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PICK A CARD: What you need to work on (it can hurt a little)
Hello and welcome to this new reading! I will tell you what you need to work on. I hope you all enjoy it!
Masterpost > Paid Readings > Patreon Masterlist
The extended version of this reading can be found on my patreon, the link of which is here
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pick a card
Pile 1:
You need to find balance in your emotions, you need to know and figure out what is good for you, and what you want. And the moment you do know, make sure you do it, even if it hurts, even if you are scared of the outcome. You need to get a hold of your true wishes, your true beliefs and thoughts, and take the control you wish to have. Leave those insecurities, and those fears behind, get through them, and think about your true wish, even if it hurts.
It’s hard to look back at what you’ve been through, the happy moments, the sad and conflicting moments. It’s hard to realise that these good things must come to an end, and hurt is okay to have, you are allowed to feel and acknowledge that hurt, you need to accept it be able to work on it and grow through it.
Extended reading
Pile 2:
Be happy with the little things. You can’t be happy with little progress, because the greater goal hasn’t been accomplished. I wouldn’t be surprised if you sometimes have progress but it still makes you frustrated because it wasn’t the full thing that you wished for.
Learn to realise that little progress can and must be celebrated too, you’re allowed to be proud of yourself for the little things, even if you get disappointed by it. You need to learn to leave those disappointed thoughts behind, accept them and move on. You can be happy and relieved while being disappointed that you didn’t fully succeed. But those little things, those little things are worth celebrating, they can help you gain more confidence and believe as long as you let them, they can make you stronger.
Extended reading
Pile 3:
Don’t just sit around and do nothing while waiting for the luck of the draw. If you want to accomplish something, then go do it. The universe won’t bend for you, you must bend the universe yourself. Don’t think your success will come from nowhere, don’t think the journey to this success will be easy without any obstacles. Every journey has obstacles, and every journey has moments where you want to quit and not continue.
If you want something, go do it. Just because something small happened that you didn’t want to happen, which made you disappointed, it doesn’t mean you should give up. Do not give up and believe the whole universe is against you. Of course, not a single journey is the same, but that doesn’t mean your journey should come easy to you, nor does it mean it should come hard to you. Every journey also teaches you something, and maybe for you, this journey wants to teach you that you must work hard and continue even though certain moments suck.
Extended reading
Pile 4:
You are not better than anyone else, so please stop trying to act like you are. Even if you are not aware of the fact that you act like that, you do. Please watch your words because a lot of things happening around you are just a roll of the dice. If something good happens you’re lucky, and if something bad happens it was just something that would happen one way or another.
Being confident in your knowledge is good, but don’t make yourself believe you know so much, because you don’t. Don’t put your insecurities so far away that your way of coping becomes a burden for others. You can be insecure yet have knowledge, you don’t need to be over-confident with it. And even if you are not confident, don’t try to mask it off. You need to learn how to balance these things. You do not know how much you don’t know, and as you grow older and experience more and more you will realise that you will never know a lot; because there is too much out there to know for your knowledge to be ever considered a lot.
Extended reading
Pile 5:
Go for it, don’t wait around and be scared, do it. It is good that you think about possible dangers and the wish to do it correctly, but over-thinking is also something that exists, and it’s not good. Don’t sit and imagine everything, being able to control everything, if you want it to happen you must do it. Get a grasp of that wish, stand in confidence and become the person you’ve always wanted to become, do the thing you’ve always wanted.
You are insecure, and being insecure is okay, but just because you are insecure it doesn’t mean everything and everyone should handle you with care. Everyone should be treated the same, which includes you. Do you want to do this? Well, it’s a tough world, get ready for it. Don’t be scared and wait around doing nothing, do it or don’t, in the end, you’ll know what you want.
Extended reading
#pick a card#pick a pile#pick an image#pick a picture#pick a photo#pac#pap#spirituality#spiritual#divination#tarot#tarot reading#tarotoftheday#tarot readings#tarot deck#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot commissions#spirit guides#spirit team#shadow work#shufflemancy#bibliomany#free reading#free tarot reading#loa#law of assumption#spiritual healing#tarot card
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to me i feel like the hells were meant for a campaign more like cr2, which i feel like that's been discussed before even on your blog? like idk orym and braius were the only characters who actually fit this campaign, maybe imogen for obvious reasons. but laudna, fearne, ashton, chetney all felt like they belonged in a lower stakes, more personal campaign
Yes, I have talked about this extensively: honestly, either a Campaign 1 or Campaign 2 structure would have served them better. For what it's worth I feel like everyone other than Laudna managed to make something of it - Fearne and Chetney frankly did a lot of work to explore their concepts, it was just never rewarded or frankly in many cases revisited in any way (again, consequences do not mean punishment; they quite literally just mean that one's actions lead to results that follow from said actions), and while I ended up not caring much for Ashton as a character, I actually think Taliesin played them with a strong logical throughline. But it is true that the plot really, in the end, served none of them, not even Orym or Imogen (Braius it kind of did, but he was developed so late in the game that he was designed around its flaws). There was just never space to really explore the dark fairytale Ashley talked about early on; Tuyen and that other toymaker back in Marquet were never revisited nor was Ruidus's impact on Chetney nor was there an appearance of Doreo, and even Drixlich and the offers to the pirates vanished (side note but Travis is perhaps actual play's best plot thread generator and I think it's telling that he kind of gave up on that eventually because it never fucking went anywhere, after two campaigns where it consistently did). When it comes to Imogen I am reminded of the possibly apocryphal theater review for King Lear that went "the lead actor played the king as though he momentarily expected someone to play the ace;" she was a great concept but at no point inhabited her decisions meaningfully on the rare occasions she made them. Orym was never really given the opportunities Caleb had to explore grief and while I personally am okay with his deal with Morri being canceled, it plus the whole Vax thing really feel like a thumbing of the nose at Liam's RP choices across the decade. Ashton's temporary growth and then regression honestly feel very real, just deeply unsympathetic, though the ending of the story where nothing about the All Minds Burn or his talk with Shady Sally or the titans or the Hishari came up and the genuinely great moment of sacrifice turned into another "and then Essek fixes it for you" was narratively empty. But the more I think about it, the more this was largely a failure of Matt to tell a different kind of story with any measure of success. I think this campaign in many ways played hard to Matt, Marisha, and Laura's weaknesses in particular (and a little bit of Liam's if I'm being honest in the end) whereas the others embraced their strengths, and this is what happened; the rest of the cast kind of made the most of it.
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sorry it so truly laughable to me to look at campaign 3 and determine the success of the stories therein based on screentime like. disregarding the fact that i personally take c3 to be the least valuable in terms of stories told, particularly ones about romantic love, for the moment: on principle it’s goofy as hell to think that a large amount of hours = a story that has something to say let alone something meaningful to say. like, yasha and beau, for example, have a fairly small amount of hours due to the fact that a) ashley missed half the campaign b) they were also generally slowburn, and while that influences the depth of certain aspects of the story, the time spent with yasha and beau has little to do with how meaningful their story is. it wouldn’t matter if they had 10 hours of screen time or 100 if what is in question is the story told; yasha’s story as someone chained by grief choosing to move on & beau’s story as someone angry after a life of being treated like shit finally getting justice for the wrongs done to her which both conclude in their campaign’s finales aren’t successful because I can launch some meaningless number of how many hours it took them to take build those stories together into the ether and say “they did this for women’s rights” just because two women existed beside one another. both yasha and beau resonate as stories that have a significant feminist read because they both deal with fantasy versions of things extremely relevant to women in a way that maintains their agency without shirking their responsibility, and they are particularly strong stories about queerness not simply because they’re two women who fuck but because they deal with emotional themes relevant to queer experiences — anger and grief — and how, while the reasons for those emotions are grounded ones, they both choose to grow beyond the boundaries they allowed those emotions to enforce in their lives.
further, the notion of screentime for a show that takes care to show all of the players on screen at a time in a medium where the player/character distinction isn’t always clear is such a subjective calculation and on top of being a stupid justification for ‘success’ or ‘value’ of a story, is also easy to manipulate to your favour.
it’s just, the screentime for im*dna’s relevance and success doesn’t ring true to me just because it’s a bad reason. but further it just isn’t persuasive. i don’t care if i see someone for 1000 hours or 1, if a story resonates it will do so with any amount of time. whatever amount of screentime they’re calculated to have does nothing to repair or hide the fact that their story as a couple says very little of value in the text, without whatever fanfic extrapolation has taken place (and to be clear, this isn’t to say fanfic can’t be valuable, it’s to say that the character explorations you do in fic or in meta for that matter doesn’t mean that analysis or elaboration is canon). like. halfway through the campaign, before they got together, imogen told laudna “our weirdness is what makes us right” and laudna agreed verbally but now 1 billion hours of screentime later or whatever, laudna has still failed to integrate that belief into her, which is made obvious in a scene after the divine intervention that ties laudna’s life to imogen’s when imogen tells laudna she’s grateful she got to hear the music of laudna’s thoughts, and laudna’s response is “it was probably a bit of the insanity, honestly”, something which on paper might read like a joke but in the moment is played like a (maintained from hours upon hours previous) dismissal of what imogen is saying she values about laudna, evident in the way laura/imogen deflates when she says “well, it was pretty…”. and simply because it’s been a trillion hours of screentime that’s supposed to be representative of a relationship in which the characters help each other to grow.
(addendum to say that stories that are about stagnancy can be just as valuable as stories about growth, but textually and by the sections of fandom im critiquing here, imogen and Especially laudna are treated as a relationship that grows)
truly, if anything, counting up as many hours as possible to dictate the success of imogen and laudna’s story actually ends up working against the story. because i’d probably be more forgiving of the stagnancy if it was a shorter story, but knowing that they had so many hours and still failed to deliver a story with actions and behaviour that matched the claims the characters would make and the tropes/themes that would get applied to them, that makes it worse.
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“That was a long flight.” Not to mention another crazy project that had her working from coast-to-coast in under two weeks. “—And then I figured customs and immigration might’ve done you in.” Say what you will about Heathrow being a leader in airport facilities; it’s still filled with grumps that could put Aiden to shame. “—So I mean—” he really doesn’t know what else to say, but between the airy laughter she pulls out of him and the playful half-nod, half-shake of his head, “—yeah.” Understatement of the year.
But also, he’s definitely not complaining. Quite the opposite.
If Anna’s sudden appearance has him frozen in utter shock, then her words have the exact opposite effect, melting away every bit of bad that’s built up throughout the evening. The anxieties, the annoyance. Even the mild heartburn from eating the weird slop they’d named ‘dessert,’ despite setting it on fire. He takes to her presence like a plant does sunlight, reveling in warm comfort and blooming under the rays of her inspection. By the end of it all, one would think that he’d just broken the record for a lap around the pitch. The faint pink on his cheeks only adds to the effect.
“You’re always a ten to me.” He isn’t saying it just to say it. Anna possesses beauty in its most obvious forms, with a prize-winning natural smile and a relentless charm about her. It’s part of what makes her successful— how she seamlessly blends into every theme and still strikes the hearts of her audience, sets herself apart in a way that makes everyone, everything, the background. Then there are the other ways that she attracts him — the more important stuff — the details that the spotlight ends up leaving in the shadows. Beginning with her heart and ending with her endless devotion. Smitten. Aiden’s terribly, totally smitten.
He has to refocus before she notices that he’s staring.
“I, uh— I gotta say, I don’t think we’re gonna have much luck with the food. I’ve been scoping out the place—” like a true, tried and tested introvert, “—and I think the best you’ll find are the nuts in my pocket.” A beat passes. “Actual nuts. Cashews. Not— you know.” Not to crack a dirty joke in the middle of a very fancy, very high-budget occasion… But he knows her. Knows them. And speaking of, “—Oh!” he brings his hands up to shoulder-height, showing off the new silver gracing his cuffs. “Check it out. I got a couple compliments on ‘em.”
Leave it to Aiden to be more enthusiastic about small things when there were two chart-topping musicians on-stage a few hours ago. Priorities will be priorities, however, and he won’t be told otherwise. Caught up in his eagerness, he scoots closer and rests a hand on her hip, telling her, “Thank you for coming.” Because really, there’s no combination of words that could capture the depth with which he feels, just seeing her— much less being graced by her generosity and thoughtfulness all day.
What is it about Aiden that makes her hold her breathe, as if she's bracing for the rug to be pulled out from under her? It happens so quickly, verging on a split second, that no one would notice. Hell, Anna wouldn't, if not for the way her heart tightens in that second. Equal parts anticipation and anxiety, bubbling together into one. Excited to see him, paranoid that he wouldn't be happy to see her. She feels it when she arrives, after two weeks away.
Then, he's looking at her. Smiling. Open. With eyes she can get lost in, for days on end. The feeling dissipates, replaced with this overwhelming feeling of happiness. Because he's not a picture on her screen, or something in her imagination. Aiden is present, in the flesh, and dressed beautifully in a suit and tie.
"Surprised to see me?" She guesses, when they find a quieter corner. If there weren't hundreds of reporters and nosy gossips around, Anna would jump into his arms. The over-excited, child-like reaction she has after a long few weeks of separation. But Petra poured too many hours to getting his suit look just right, so she settles for a brief nuzzle against his neck when he pulls away.
"Remember that airplane I was on?" Anna teases, like she doesn't know what he means. "Wait, let me take a look at you first." Because that's half the reason she ran through heaven and Earth. "Wow." Just... "Wow." Anna repeats, inspecting the simply beauty of his suit and the pine scent attached to his aftershave. "You clean up real good, babe." An understatement, Anna has to pull her jaw up from the ground. A gentle squeeze to his arm, she finally nods.
"I got here as fast as I could. I wanted to be here, for you." Sure, the event is nice too, and celebrating people's successes means something. This, however, is a distant second reason. "I almost got away with it, too, if not for the shoes." Maybe she can pass it off as the latest trend? "But I'm here, dressed to the... Sevens?" Can't exactly call her a ten, when she's mismatched with rain still tangled in her hair. "I got your back. Small talk. Avoiding personal questions." Smirking, she adds coyly; "Flagging down the waiters with the actual good food." Anna suspects it's more deconstructure, avante-garde bullshit.
Another breathe. A sip of water from the bar. "It's really good to see you." Simple words, but they come from the heart. Aiden could be wearing his usual clothes, snuggled up on the couch, and Anna would say the same thing.
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i send my friend suggestions of tourist places to see in his new country (his contract was extended, lucky him!) or messages about friend of friends i have living there that he could maybe meet for fellow americans to talk to, and his response is always that he doesnt have time. and not in that exaggerated way that people do to seem busy. but in that bone tired way i recognize from him here in LA, that i recognize in myself.
#jrnlsht#i watch the lives of my friends who have Made It on social media and its like looking through glass into another world i cant relate to#theyre so happy and confident and successful and its beautiful#you know whats a funny thing about LA#so many people on the on*line da*ting apps put *successful* on their list of requirements in the people they want to date#like theres a bar of entry and if you haven't reached a certain goal post like... blue check marks on your social media or a level of wealt#then they arent even going to want to get to know you#and its so antithetical to how i was raised i cant even comprehend#and yet i see it happening to my own relationships#in pittsburgh i had friends from literally ALL walks of life from people who made even less money than me to comfortable to fairly wealthy#here my friends are almost entirely of one professional class#and i have been observing how my hyper wealthy friends self select in who they interact with to maintain this wealthy bubble around them#i dont think it's entirely intentional but its also not not intentional if you know what i mean#anyway its one of the reasons i fucking loved the talk on saturday oh my god those two were a breath of fresh air i needed so much#these smart genius dudes built their own life and instead of constantly looking up for more and more personal gain#they paused and looked at the people still desperately trying to rise#and were like if i have gotten this far why cant i help you do it too and then they DID IT they actually started helping#i think that is the true meaning of success
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[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]
saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#gillion tidestrider#GONNA START FORMATTING MY COMICS BETTER. W THE PROPER 'PREV' 'NEXT' LINKS#REALLY DIDNT EXPECT TO CONTINUE THIS SERIES BUT AAAUUUHH MY BRRAAAIN MY BRAIN IS SO IDEASSS. I HAVE 3 OTHER PAGES SKETCHED OUT#NO PROMISES ILL FINISH EM ANY TIME SOON OR EVER. MY WHIMS ARE THEIR OWN BEAST AND I ONLY DRAW ON MY WHIMS#THAT BEING SAID IF U COMMISSIONED ME ILL GEEETT TO YOUUU IM SORRYYYY. ART IS AN EMOTIONAL RELEASE FOR ME N BABY I HAVE EMOTIONS.#ESPECIALLY ABOUT GILLION TIDESTRIDER CHAMPION OF THE UNDERSEA HERO OF THE DEEP.for the desc here i put smth that i typed up in the tags of#another thing i made. i gotta make a proper Baby Gillion tag or smth. eventually.. eventually...I LOVE DRAWIN THIS LIL BABY GUY..#i also LOVE depicting the teachers as just being so fuckin mean. ofc theres variation in that. just like in all things.like the teacher her#idk if itll be mentioned but the octo lady is named Ms Octburn.an octopus pun based off the name of an actual councilor i had#when i was in elementary school i got bullied alot but teachers never did anything. i hated adults and didnt trust them.#but this councilor o mine was so genuinely sweet. i remember spending alot of time w her. she doesnt work there anymore.#but that one school adult that actually earns ur trust and is there for you when they can be.its SO important for a child i think#i hope she knows how much she helped me.youll see in the next page that ms octburn isnt perfect either.but she tries. they all try.somehow.#ALL these comics are gonna be inspired by somesorta experience o mine in the school system. school is so fucked up u ever thing abt that#AND GILLIOOOOONNN IN THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SCHOOL OF ALL. MAINTAINED BY A CULT. CENTERED AROUND HIM. OUR CHOSEN ONE#I IMAGINE ALOT BANKS ON HIS SUCCESS. THIS IS THE WORLD. THE WHOLE WORLD. THE PROPHECY IS GOING TO COME TRUE N UR TELLIN ME#THAT ITS THIS LITTLE IDIOT THATS GONNA BE SAVING US? WHAT IF HE FAILS. IF HE CANT GET THIS RIGHT THEN HE WILL FAIL AND WE WILL DIE#WE NEED TO TRAIN HIM. WE NEED HIM TO LEARN. AND TO SUCCEED. OR ELSE WE'RE DEAD. WE'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD. I IMAGINE THAT MUST BE STRESSFUL#in other news i hope ppl actually giggle when they read these. they ARE intended to be comical. dark humor or whatever. like its also sad#this is intended to be a sad comic series. but a funny one too. does that make sense? god i hope so.saw some1 say they had flashbacks-#-reading this. like YES!! THE INTENDED EFFECT!! YOU GET ME!! i love seeing ppl get upset on this lil baby boys behalf. i LOVE seeing ppl-#-wail n weep n cry in the comments. i LOOOVE seeing ppl RELATE to baby gillion. and i love letting u all know that this wont be a happycomi#gillion gets his happiness arc in the actual show. this series is one of unfortunate events. teehehehe. do u guys remember that show#i keep listening to the lil songs from A Series of Unfortunate Events for inspiration. GOOD STUFF!!#anyway uuhh uhh thats all i got in my brain. for now. feed me ur comments give me ur input i NNEEEEEDD THHEEEMMMM
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I had another thought with that one megop sparkling idea I keep bringing up but never fully committing to because I can’t decide on any one idea and at this rate I think I’m just annoying people
But yeah, I had another thought, one that I just thought was funny. I want to draw it out, but I’m lazy and also I have a test tomorrow that I have to study for, so I’m not doing it now. But I’m also impatient, so I’m giving you the bullet points/written version. If I’m sensible, I’ll take this post down after I finish the actual thing so I’m not too repetitive
Anyways, so there’s the kid, who is the child of the two leaders of the Autobot and Decepticon factions, and thus, potentially, holds a lot of value as a hostage and bargaining chip. Granted, I don’t know how known they actually are, there might just be a rumor going around that the two leaders have a secret kid somewhere
But anyways, someone (I don’t know who) gets the idea to capitalize on this, and afterwards calls up Optimus and Megatron, who are up to their usual things, claiming they have taken their sparkling captive and want some demands or other if the two ever want to see them again
Now both of them are very confused by this turn of events. Optimus has no goddamn clue what this guy’s talking about, because he’s pretty sure he knows the two of them definitely don’t have a sparkling. Megatron meanwhile does know they definitely had a sparkling, but he’s cycling through his head the possibilities of if this guy’s telling the truth. Because he was pretty sure no one knew about them, how did this person find out? How many people know? Do they really have their sparkling or is it just a trap to kill them? Or is it some idiot claiming this status, while probably not being aware there is a genuine one out there? Or did they just pick up an innocent bot who just happens to kind of look like them? How close is his secret to getting out, especially to Optimus?
But yeah basically meanwhile, while Megatron is somewhat internally panicking and trying to assess the most likely severity of this situation, Optimus is just like, “…I have absolutely no clue what you’re talking about, Megatron and I don’t have a sparkling, isn’t that right Megatron?”, thinking Megatron is on the same page of this being absolutely absurd as him
But because Megatron is thinking and stopped paying much attention, he doesn’t answer at all. And the silence goes on long enough that it’s getting questionable, especially since Megatron isn’t jumping in to defend his own honor that he did not have a baby with his sworn enemy. His silence is starting to become an admission, and the possibility of this actually being legit is starting to freak Optimus out, because again, he doesn’t know about any of this
Okay explaining it out loud does not bring out the comedy the situation is supposed to have. Probably because there’s no visuals and my description of the narrative rather than just dialogue. So like, the comedy doesn’t happen like it’s supposed to, this isn’t the format for the joke. But the image is funny in my head, okay?
I’ll make the picture either tomorrow or Friday or something, since I have things to do tomorrow. I was just trying to explain it so that you could understand my vision before I can make it
#I don’t actually know if this kidnapper has the legit sparkling or not#because I don’t know how much I want this info to be actually known in this scenario#though it does work as a way to bring the character actually in to meet their parents#granted with this setup everyone knows from the start the whole situation#Megatron’s suffering is not being the only one who knows and unable to tell anyone#but rather that he kept this secret this whole time#which I mean would be true of the former scenario as well it’s just a lot later#the best threading of the needle is can think of is that the kidnapper was accidentally successful#like they heard the rumors or something and thought it was worth a shot picking up a bot who looks reasonable enough#to hypothetically be their sparkling#but somehow ended up picking up the actual real deal#and like before meeting them Megs had settled on the idea the hostage wasn’t their actual sparkling#because how likely is it that it’s the real one?#and he’s able to cover up in the moment saying that it’s probably just some bot who looks like them and is playing off rumors#but they still have to go along with this because that’s probably an innocent bot who just got dragged into this#only for Megatron to realize during the negotiations that oh crap that actually is the real one#and having to deal with this somehow#anyways yeah#more elaboration and repeating whenever I make the final#I should really do my homework and go study for my test tomorrow#transformers#megatron#optimus prime#megop#transformers sparklings#random stuff
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pecco rant please please
*spins wheel on possible topics* absurdly underrated but in a dumb way. you'd think you can stumble your way into two premier class titles. I don't care he's on the best bike - let's be honest, how often this century have the title winners not been on the best bike? 2004 and to a lesser extent 2005 you can say clearly weaker bike, 2007 late 2010s 2021 there's a clear enough disparity with anyone else riding the bike that you can say clearly the rider is making the difference/it's an unrideable wreck one guy is making respectable, then there's a few seasons where it's at least very close whose machinery is best or they're fighting with people on equal equipment, which pecco has done! but generally speaking, good/promising riders end up on good bikes and then they win. that's how the game works!
the thing about 2022 is that it had such a massive mid-season swing that overhauling a ninety something point margin cannot come down to any single factor. is it fair to say fabio lost that title? on balance, it's a bit harsh - yes, there were a few too many errors post-sachsenring, yes, some were driven by desperation, but also you can't really expect anyone to ride a flawless season. but pecco did win that title as much as yamaha lost it. I don't care if you're riding a literal rocketship with two wheels, you can't win four races in a row if you're not extremely good at what you do! if we're saying that title was worth less because the yamaha turned to shit in the second half of the season, then let's keep going. let's put an asterisk next to 2013 because jorge and dani both got injured (let's not even get into the 'if marc hadn't been injured' asterisks because that's where you get into truly silly territory). is 2006 not a legit title because of all the bad luck valentino faced that year? let's say all titles between 2007 to 2015 were worth less because at any one time only 4-6 bikes had a realistic chance of winning races. throw out any title before 2009 because they were constantly fucking about with the tyres and there wasn't a level playing field. if you're motivated enough, you can play this game with basically anything, but it's dumb and pointless because that's not how sports works! you can only win against whoever you're facing. it has always been thus and it will always be thus
it's narratively fun and juicy that pecco has these insecurities himself - but within the context of everyone else doing discourse over it, the whole thing is massively overblown! linked to some of the worst sports discourse about how much people love to disparage late bloomers, because they need every single successful athlete to fit the same mould of the ultra-talented wunderkind, apparently. it's more interesting when it's not always the most 'talented' (whatever tf that means), naturally gifted, *fast the second he touches a bike* bloke who wins. sometimes they have to work hard for it, sometimes they have to improve themselves year on year and be smart about how they do it, sometimes they have to be in the right place and right time, sometimes they have to be very lucky. sports is all about competition, and competition is all about contrast. it's a contrast that can be generated in a whole lot of ways, and in fairness to motogp they have come up with a bunch of interesting narratively tense contests that don't rely on a massive fundamental 'talent' differential - but at the end of the day, that's one of the best ones you can have! the more ways you can have to win in any given sport, the better, both in the literal sense of how you go about the actual process of winning and how you even become a winner. none of this means that pecco isn't very very good, it means he got there in a different way than every other multiple champ this century has. it fundamentally flattens the sport if you want every top-level competitor to be an alien-level talent... one of the best things about this current era is that it has given us something new and exciting in that regard, where you well and truly believe some very different blokes might have what it takes to eventually be champion
anyway, pecco is absurdly adept at digging himself into holes and absurdly adept at digging himself out of them. he's one of the worst frontrunners imaginable in every sense, biologically incapable of dominating without at least a perpetual hint of jeopardy, both in the context of a race and a season. but when his back is against the wall, somehow he keeps finding performances you never imagined he was capable of. his mixed up and slightly odd skillset, his strengths and weaknesses, how he's better and worse than he has any right to be... all of it lends itself to perpetual momentum shifts and thrilling seasons - because you never quite know what you're going to get. love him or hate him, he's a gift to the overall competitive landscape! god knows the racing hasn't been much to write home about these last few years (though, yes, we did have a good little run this season), but somehow he's managed to get himself involved in two out of the six title deciders this century back-to-back. is that not the dream for the viewer, to have a bloke at the top of the sport with a little self-combust chip in his head every time he builds too much of an advantage? build a hundred of those guys! throw a marc marquez at him and see what he does! I can't wait to see what he'll come up with next
#this is a rant in the truest sense of the word that i didn't structure or edit this and wrote it in one go#to be clear this is ZERO comment on people vibing or not vibing with him as a human being. idc!! this is about competition!!#i've accidentally ended up in a place with this sport where i HAPPEN to like some absurdly talented freaks#who were disgustingly dominant. which means i have now stumbled into a fan space filled with people who are really into dominance#not my vibe!! at all!! two of my favourite valentino seasons are 2006 and 2015. 2015 is also one of my fave marc seasons#not gonna say what my fave casey seasons are bc it feels a bit like kicking a puppy when it's down but well it's not the title winning ones#want marc to suffer a normal amount!! it's all about putting these guys in situations... if you're just talented and successful who CAREEES#i loveeeeeee athletes who self sabotage..... love how for pecco building confidence is really a Project like it isn't natural!!#and good lord don't get me about team orders discourse. you'd think he had seven ducati riders holding his hands#a little bit of corruption is good sometimes... adds narrative spice#//#brr brr#batsplat responds#'loves 2006 and heart rate easily clears 100 every time marc marquez does anything in a race' perhaps the world's worst rossi fan?#reverse is true too tbf but at least that contradiction feels fundamental to the full marc marquez experience#//currt
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Rewatching succession it really is wild to see Kendall and Shiv convince themselves over and over again that they can "fix ATN/Waystar from the inside" only to completely abandon their morals the minute it gives them a strategic advantage.
When they're on the outside it's an endless diatribe about how evil and rotten the company is to its core, but the second they get the slightest whiff of power they suddenly decide the problems are actually really manageable and that with the right leadership it could be a force for good, and like...the saddest part is that they genuinely seem to believe that.
#where's that crime and punishment quote about how the worst thing is that you've betrayed yourself for nothing...#and they really seem to think its true! they genuinely believe that they can turn it around and make it good! it's not an act!#kendall really thinks he's a feminist and 'one of the good ones' and shiv really does think she stands with/for women and liberal#ideals and the truth is that no matter how much they might care about those things they will always love power more and they#are infinitely more invested in the power structures that keep injustice alive than they are in actually trying to stop injustice#roman is the only one who's actually aware and honest about how fucked it all is but he thinks that means everything's bullshit and#therefore nothing matters. which can be just as dangerous as convincing yourself you're the good guy (see: america decides)#that's one of the things i like so much about the ending for shiv and kendall bc they're finally forced to confront the lies they've been#telling themselves. and like. maybe that'll go nowhere. maybe they won't change. but they might. and the only hope they have#of actually growing as people and maybe doing something good is if that illusion gets shattered#idk man i just have so many thoughts about succession#succession#shiv roy#kendall roy
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I've seen a few people mention how the sauce Carmy makes in Apologies is black with white spots, and how in that very scene Sydney is wearing a black bandana with white polka-dots. From what I can tell, most people are interpreting this as an intentional writing choice, which I agree with, but they also seem to be interpreting the sauce as something Carmy did subconsciously.
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I saw one person say that Syd is Carmy's "muse" and she's inspiring his cooking without him even realizing it. Another interpretation I saw was that this dish was evidence of Carmy metaphorically not choosing Sydney, since he throws the dish in the trash in the next scene.
While anybody is allowed to interpret the sauce scene however they want, I thought I would point out that it likely wasn't the writer's intentions for us to interpret this as something Carmy did subconsciously, because the point being made in that dish, or at least what we are supposed to understand about that dish, is that the polka-dot sauce is not supposed to be polka-dotted.
That is a broken sauce. The white dots that are popping up and spreading in it aren't supposed to be there. If this sauce had been made properly, it would have been one consistency, and therefore one color. Chefs don't break sauces, and breaking a sauce is something you're specifically meant to avoid. In the universe of this show, Carmy didn't intend for that sauce to break, and that is why he throws it in the trash. Given that it doesn't make sense for him to have broken the sauce on purpose, that means that he also didn't purposefully mimic Syd's bandana.
In fact, the head chef at the NYC restaurant once mocked Carmy for a broken sauce. At the funeral dinner for Ever, Carmy is thinking about the abuse he endured by that chef, and one of the insults he thinks of during a montage of memories from his past is the chef implying that breaking a sauce makes Carmy broken. It's one of the insults haunting him this season.
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(Edit: I have been informed that chefs do sometimes intentionally break sauces, and it’s called a split-break. I still personally interpret it as unintentional in the show, but it’s interesting to consider the difference in meaning if it’s not.)
That being said, I don't think this means that Sydney's bandana and the sauce coincidentally match each other. This scene takes place in the penultimate episode, directly before the funeral dinner at Ever where Carmy confronts the NYC head chef, and where Chef Terry gives a speech that, in my opinion, is meant to deliver the message of this season.
Throughout the season, the pressure Carmy has placed on himself has only increased. This has affected his ability to cook well. We see Carmy throw away multiple dishes in different episodes. We can assume he screwed these dishes up, but it's impossible to know since Carmy's standards are so high nothing is good enough for him anyway. But with something like a broken sauce, we know. We know that he's not simply being a perfectionist when he throws the broken sauce away. He's definitely screwed the sauce up.
At this point in the season, Carmy's reached his breaking point. This is represented visually in his broken sauce.
However, they could have used any broken sauce, in any colors, couldn't they? It's not a coincidence that they used a sauce that, when broken, is black and white. I think in part the reason they chose the colors black and white is because of what those colors usually represent - darkness vs lightness, wrong vs right, bad vs good - and Carmy is caught in between. At this point in the season, he's on a path toward something dark - but he can choose the light, and both are waging a war inside of him at this moment, breaking him.
It's also still significant that Syd is wearing the black bandana with white polka-dots. Especially because Chef Tery - the foil to the chef who abused Carmy, the narrative good, right, light, representing the path Carmy should be on and needs to choose in the future - also wears a black bandana with white polka-dots this season.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1c998a716cdb599c0667a1197989da59/20b6587c9656921a-30/s540x810/01e742dc137bd6ecb1e673b2d9dd6287fc516b53.jpg)
Together, this all represents what Carmy risks losing if he continues on the same path, and inversely, what he could gain if he chooses the right one. Carmy, the character, is not conscious of any of this, and in the universe of The Bear, none of this means anything - but they do mean something narratively.
Carmy is screwing up, and because of that, he's breaking. He screwed the sauce up, and the sauce broke. The bandanas worn by Chef Tery and Syd represent what he's screwing up, and how that is breaking him. They also represent what he needs to choose in the future to avoid breaking, and to make things right.
#the bear#sydcarmy#long post#sorry but I don't think this was as romantic as some people thought lol#But I do actually think this ends up meaning more than if she was simply inspiring him without him realizing it#her presence in his life is on equal footing with a future in which he's not only a successful chef - but a happy and fulfilled one#and they are both the thing that exists on the other side of fear and hardship. Character development.#which in my opinion indicates that Syd and a career like Chef Tery's are Carmy's true motives as a character#and they're also the destination at the end of his story#Whether or not he reaches them will define his story
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Thinking thoughts about Abuela being back and with this backstory about her being taken in by charlatans and Eddies whole catholic guilt thing and how the two things kind of play into one another as an exploration of faith and being taken in by something.
Abuela giving all her money to the tarot card readers etc because she was searching for something - for connection (with Abuelo) - trying to recapture what she had lost, and How Eddie has spoken about trying to re-find the magic he had with Shannon - how Eddie hasn't actually fully reconciled the Shannon of it all when it comes to relationships and how his Catholic guilt connects into that.
How Marisol as a physical representation of Catholicism is part of that narrative - how Eddie is entering a place where he has to chose his path - in order to move on from Shannon he needs to fully square the hole - catholic or non catholic. And how that needs to happen first - before he can begin his queer journey!
#this is so incoherant#I'm also thinking about how Marisol fits into this narrative and how this idea of being taken in or fooled by a person plays into what we#know of her - how she wasn't upfront with Eddie (not saying she had to be right from the off but before moving in!!!) - how she is kind of#representative of secrets - especially around faith and ones connection with faith because she is essentially a stand in for catholicism#which (sorry to all the catholics out there) peddles in magic and secrets in order to keep the mystery of faith alive and therefore keep#people believing. How Eddie's reckoning with himself and the ghost of Shannon ultimately means choosing either to follow the path of#catholicism or non catholicism#How Marisol is a tie to religion and therefore his reasons for not having successful relationships after her (or even with her) and how#Eddie letting go will ultimately mean letting go of Marisol - how he can never fully move forward while catholicism still lingers#how I don't' think we'll be seeing the queer aspect of this narrative this season - that dealing with this first part is key and only once#he has figured it out can he then be free to know himself - is true self better - and accept and move into his full self as a queer man#so yeah - catholic guilt arc 7b and 8a - as its really a two parter - finally dealing with the remnants of Shannon - and its connection wit#his faith and then when truly free of that exploring his queerness!#So yeah - Marisol will possibly be here until towards the end of the season because she is meant to be the trigger point for Eddie in#relation to Shannon - its why they made the difference (and similarities) between S and M very obvious in 7x01#they have the time to build this story arc more fully now with the s8 renewal - to do it justice and unfortunately as part of that it means#she'll probably be around longer than any of us would like!#I don't know if I even make sense at this point#but I do want to reitterate that the show is goig out of its way to contrast her with Buck as well#to really show how close and right for each other Buck and Eddie are so no one needs to panic - she's here for the narrative not forever!#911 abc#911 spoilers#eddie diaz
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As many others, I am processing my disappoint with C3 and especially choices in the finale. Do you have any recommendations of narratives (tv, books, movies, video games, actual play, etc.) that you have really enjoyed and might recommend as something that really sticks the landing? My recommendation to others who might see this ask would be the Mistborn book trilogy, as I felt it had an incredibly satisfying ending that was surprising but also so clear in the narrative once you looked back. Love reading all your meta!
I do love Mistborn so that is a good one; some others
LOTR; this is obvious but like, I know where I come from (also very good in a sense of You Will Be Changed And Can Never Truly Go Back)
Vorkosigan saga 4ever; this is a bit of a commitment because to get the incredible middle section of it to properly land (Memory/Komarr/A Civil Campaign) you do sort have to read everything that came before, which is good but doesn't make me eat drywall
I have played 2.5 video games in the past decade as discussed extensively but I personally do feel that Veilguard, while weak in some parts, did stick the landing for me, and Disco Elysium did as well and very much hits a lot of the cathartic/comforting elements I just mentioned in my previous ask.
I Saw the TV Glow for a film I saw relatively recently that lands an ambiguous ending very well
The Fifth Season (trilogy) by NK Jemison
for standalone books: Both Piranesi and Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell by Susanna Clarke; and The City and the City by China Mieville all manage to land bittersweet and/or weird endings and are genuinely unique concepts
Comic series: if you came away from C3 like "wow I actually really loved the scenes in the finale with the gods talking about what this means for them, and wish the concepts of divinity and cycles had been explored in depth" run don't walk to pick up The Wicked and the Divine (completed)
TV shows: Mad Men is good throughout and never misses the mark, though i will admit it's like I'm so glad I watched it all the way through as it aired, and I don't know if I'll ever do a rewatch? but also I'm not a massive rewatcher. Succession also sticks the landing. It's a dark landing, to be sure, and one that never flinches from, well, consequences, but they do stick it. It's been a hot minute since I watched the Wire and iirc it gets uneven in parts (though still excellent throughout) but also people should just watch The Wire.
Other actual play: all three seasons of NADDPod stick the landing, but especially the first nails it. I like TAZ but I do think it can sometimes soften its blows, though the tone of the show is such that I'm more forgiving. I also find myself saying "I really enjoy D20, but endings are not necessarily the strong suit" and that's maybe something I should explore. The other actual plays I watch either I haven't finished, or they haven't finished, which is wild to consider.
Fiction Podcasts: Penumbra podcast, Midst, Silt Verses - I'm a bit of a broken record but all three of this end in a way that is, above all, true to the work and deeply satisfying.
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does anyone else find it fucked up that moon's friends protect themselves from her with the skyfire at the end of moon rising?
#wings of fire#moonwatcher#look okay i've been slowly rereading the series on and off again bc one of my friends is getting into the series#so correct me where i'm wrong in asking why kinkajou feels entitled for moon to disclaim she's a telepath and seer upon first meeting her#when the news that nightwings don't have powers anymore and that they manipulated the entire sandwing succession war conflict#for their own gain went PUBLIC so nightwings are a hated tribe#nevermind the fact that moon feels like an outcast among her tribe because she hatched off of the volcano and never had to suffer#though it's sweet that her mother cares for her and worries about her she still calls moon her 'weird little diamond'#and impresses upon her 'secret hidden safe' which is basically wof's conceal don't feel#when was moon supposed to feel safe enough in disclosing her power she's hated FOR having and hated for NOT having#do you (general) think she's in ANY position to advertise she's the tribe's ONLY true seer and telepath in generations safely?#'i get what kinkajou means but it feels almost like having to disclaim your trans or disabled. Is a bit fucked' is what my friend said#it's the same fucking thing as 'i'm losing the person i once knew' but perhaps not in those words and not nearly as harshly#i know kinkajou comes around to moon eventually and they remain friends. but there's something REALLY fucked about it imo#same friend pointed out there's a queerness to this which i will 100% agree on like it stings on a personal level#like. look i still like the series but man reading it critically and interacting with it in a more adult lens#is definitely an action i am doing right now.#i think i'm still correct in saying darkstalker was a child. evil is not created in a vacuum. hatred is taught not inherent.#it does not excuse him from the evil he did commit. but he was a child. he was a FUCKING ABUSED CHILD. augh. (quietly losing my mind)#rex rambles
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"the endgame had never been finished" meaning......kinzo died before he could put this plan of his into motion?
#umineko liveblog#kinzo acted hastily and failed to 'win' over nanjo in the end#meaning that the Something was neither exposed or buried before he died#the 'rushed' part is giving me pause because what could kinzo have rushed?#unless of course he didn't plan on the 1986 family conference being the day he spun the demon's roulette#but then given Everything we need to read all post-prologue kinzo scenes as dubiously authentic#which. actually. this is all leading to a very worrying conclusion specifically about kinzo's role in the epitaph ritual#no tvs in the study........his chess game unfinished.....surely this doesn't actually mean what i think it's implying#because why else would these killings even happen and be involved with the epitaph succession riddle if not for kinzo#like this is obviously his machination but. the metaphors are doing a good job of distancing him#unless this is another way to clue in on the 'dead all along' thing which still hasn't been Actually Confirmed True#ie kinzo had other plans but died before he could amend them so genji is acting out the Kill Everyone part of his will instead#but that leaves the question of what kinzo's unfinished plan is and what the 'rushing' actually means. a lot to consider here........
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tags continued from prev post.
#and all of this is true while it is ALSO true that her songs age incredibly well#even debut or random soundtrack songs or endgame#whatever song people try to put on the worst Taylor songs list NEVER QUITE BELONGS#it doesn’t feel right. and to some extent occasionally in mercurial flashes I feel the same about her BEST songwriting list#I can never rank anything of hers ever because she can write better than she has written#if anything finds her own songwriting dead it’s what her future self will be able to achieve#and I think sometimes even the public can SENSE this about her and it’s part of why people are sooooo hard on her in a brutal way#and in a way they never are with other artists. who have reached the limits of their potential#Taylor has not reached the limits —that’s the simple way of saying it#in some way she is still figuring out the artist she is going to be#and I really do think that it is going to be absolutely astonishing#because in some ways (this is going to sound crazy) she is still distracted by her success and her tour#she’s NOT but I mean. the canon hasn’t been fully set free#there are still somehow things holding her back#and we’ve watched her outstrip so much of those early confines that fame and the business of the music industry strapped around her#we’ve seen her say ‘that doesn’t apply to me’#but actually she’s going to and she needs to and I believe she WILL continue to move into rarefied air#my mom helped me give me the final piece of this feeling (and it’s just a deep gut intuition/brain chemical thing for me)#when she said one day almost in mild exasperation: maybe one day Taylor will grow into a Dolly Parton#and something CLICKED#in my brain. and I don’t agree with my mom in terms of her non-interest in Taylor (as much as it has pained me to do so)#I think she’s worth loving and paying attention to now#but that gap that exists between people who love her and people who don’t (full time haters internet trolls do not interact)#I think it’s going to close with time as her work stretches out and out and grows and changes#like I think by the end of her career we are going to have something so astonishing#and to loop it back for a second to a previous thought. I think that’s why sometimes a taylor song can sound disjointed to me. because it#will hit the Depths of the Depth for a second. it will transcend and then it will go back to merely being an excellent pop song#those flashes are everywhere in her work but I think she is going to work and hone them into being conductors of light in a more steady way#the older she gets. does this sound INSANE. idk sometimes I think it does and then sometimes I think it DOESNt. so who knows. but yeah#it’s hard to say because I know it will read as more critical of Taylor than I mean it to be. when really I mean it with so much awe
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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