#in my brain. and I don’t agree with my mom in terms of her non-interest in Taylor (as much as it has pained me to do so)

[itspileofgoodthings]

tags continued from prev post.

[elliepassmore]

Children of Blood and Bone review

4.5/5 stars Recommended for people who like: magic, fantasy, non-Western fantasy, multiple POVs, A Song of Wraiths and Ruins I really liked the worldbuilding and thought the world was very vibrant. I liked that the story took us to multiple different places so we got to see a wide range of Orïsha's environments and people. Adeyemi did a good job of incorporating maji/diviners-kosidan relationships into each location so that they felt realistic. One town might have a mix of both where the maji/diviners get shaken down by the guards in a 'normal' way while the next might be brutal for the maji/diviners, and yet another might treat them as relative equals. The way the guards treated the maji/diviners was also realistic, unfortunately, and you can definitely see the influences of real-world laws and actions in the ones present in Orïsha. The magic system overall makes sense and I don't think it needs a ton of explaining: diviners as baby!maji who will get their powers from one of the gods/esses at age 13, the magic is usually passed through the maternal line so kids tend to have the same kind of magic as the mom's, and there are chants/prayers/incantations to the gods that allow the magic to flow. Simple enough. However, the incantations end up getting a bit tricky later on in the book. For one, we pretty much always see Zelie using incantations when she calls her magic, but some of the other magic-using characters are never mentioned as using incantations. While some of them, like Zélie, probably remember a few from before the Raid, that can't be true for all of them, especially ones who are too young or who get a power that doesn't correspond with one their parent had. So that bit felt a little rushed, but overall I liked the magic system in the book and Zélie's way of describing magic was interesting. As for Zélie herself: she's got a fire in her and she's determined to get things done, even if she sometimes doubts her abilities to lead. She balances herself quite well between being afraid of the guards and retaliation and rebellion, and generally seems to keep a good balance, though I do have to agree with Tzain that sometimes she does stuff without thinking. I particularly liked how much joy she took from her diviner/maji heritage and her awareness that simply living her heritage was rebellion within itself. There was a bit toward the end where she was getting doubtful about magic which was kind of confusing since she'd also used magic to fight and for more debatable reasons, but whatever. Overall I liked her character. With Amari I was kind of lost at first as to how people could call her a badass, but I definitely get it now. I'll will admit that I didn't and still don't see how she and Zelie are such great friends. Friends, definitely. But best friends? I don't think they're there yet. Something I definitely appreciate about Amari was how willing she was to learn. Some of the things she came into contact with once outside the palace scared her, but she was open to explanations and other perspectives, which was great considering her upbringing (and considering Inan's chapters). I feel like Amari really came into herself in the second half of the book. She finally gets a chance to fight for something she believes in and I think it helped transform her character from someone who shied away from the blade she knew how to use to someone who would wield a sword to defend herself and others. I could definitely see her becoming a commander of some kind in the future, though I'm not entirely sure if 'queen' suits her (I am not entirely certain the title 'ruler' suits anyone in this book). Inan is the last POV character and he was...he was a lot. Amari and Zelie are definitely my favorites, but Inan is someone I could probably do with having less page time. This boy has zero convictions of his own and is completely unable to look past his nose. Unlike Amari, he continues to believe his father's words even traveling around and doesn't really spare a second thought to how reality might actually be. The one thing I'll say in his defense is that Amari did have Binta growing up and was able to see that at least one diviner wasn't bad, which I do think helped for her to generalize this idea to other diviners/maji, whereas Inan didn't have a figure like that in his life. But enough of that. Inan is wishy-washy and swings one way then the other (though never completely all the way), and he is far too willing to return to his old ideals when things get challenging or scary. I mean, for fuck's sake he isn't even really the one suffering most of these times and is still all too ready to give up. Like, please grow a spine, buddy. I do think Adeyemi actually did a really good job of writing Inan in the sense that she manages to capture the effects abuse and gaslighting and show just how much of an effect those things can have on your psyche. So in that sense Inan was a 'good' character, but I don't think he's a good person nor do I like him. Tzain was someone whom I felt was in the background for a lot of the book. He supports Zelie and is willing to go off with her to do all these things and protects her and stands by her even when she fucks up. He is also able to be nice to Amari despite her being the princess and the daughter of the man who caused a lot of his problems. From what we do see of him Tzain seems to have a good sense of humor and is funny at times. He's also clearly holding in a lot of pain, trauma, and responsibility, though he rarely shows it. I definitely think he feels responsible for his father and Zelie and that whenever something bad happens to either of them he feels guilty, even if there was nothing he could've done. While he blames Zélie for a lot of things, which I don't like AT ALL but at the same time understand needing to direct your anger somewhere, I get the feeling he's mostly blaming himself. In terms of relationships. Someone please explain to me why there needed to be any in this book in the first place? Inan and Zélie are the main pairing, which is just dumb af since he wants to kill her for almost the entirety of the book then, after like two whole days of being together, they decide everything's fine and dandy and start kissing. I side with Tzain on this one, even if his phrasing wasn't great. I'll be honest, the Zélie and Inan's whole relationship just confuses me. I don't understand why they like each other other than 'insta-love' and I don't understand 1) why Zélie's willing to Risk It All after Inan being nice for two days, and 2) why she's willing to continue the relationship after what happens with Saran. Perhaps my biggest issue with them is Inan's so-called love wherein he thinks taking away magic will protect Zélie...completely ignoring the fact that part of Zélie is magic. *SPOILER, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH TO AVOID* That complete and utter dumbass doesn't seem to connect the fact that he stopped feeling Zélie's soul when Zélie stopped feeling magic. Like? Brains? No brains here. *SPOILER END* Okay, moving on. Tzain and Amari have better prospects for romance. Adeyemi set them up from the very beginning, even if Tzain might've initially seen her as a pretty face. They grow to like and respect for one another and I feel like their relationship could actually go somewhere. But why, why oh why does Adeyemi make Amari mention the L-word? Like, honey, you are not in love with this boy after only knowing him a week. Crush, sure. Love, no. But that matters not, since there is at least the potential. Actually, something re: relationships that I felt Adeyemi kind of brushed over (and it seems like other reviews also had this same thought) has to do with Amari. She is very much coded to be bi and it's written as if she and Binta had a romantic relationship, but Adeyemi never follows through with this. I honestly thought that Amari and Zelie were going to be the main pairing of the book at first, or failing that that Amari would have feelings for Zélie, Zélie wouldn't reciprocate, then Amari would move on to another female character. But nope. Nada. I mean, Tzain's good too, but it's just weird the way the whole thing with Amari's romantic interest(s) was/were written. Now onto something else: the throne. While becoming the next ruler isn't an outright object for either Inan or Amari (or anyone else), being heir definitely sits on Inan's shoulders and drives a lot of what he does. Likewise, Amari comes to the realization that if she were the next on the throne she could help the diviners/maji and overturn the laws and the system that her father created. The current king, Saran, sucks all around and definitely doesn't deserve his head being attached to his body. But we already knew that. The point is, Inan is clearly not good for Orïsha because he can't form his own convictions and leans solely on what he's been taught to think is right. He does, however, think he is the only person who can keep Orïsha safe and protected. Amari, on the other hand, knows she won't be queen and doesn't seem to really want to be queen until she realized what that could mean for what she believes in. However, and there's always a 'however,' she also kind of has Mad Queen Energy about her at times after she makes this decision. She is, in my opinion, also not a great contender for the throne. As mentioned, I think she'd make a great general, but there's something about her that makes me hesitate before supporting her bid for the throne. Do I think she'd be better than Saran or Inan? Absolutely. But probably so would Yemi, that doesn't mean she should get the throne. Perhaps I am merely feeling particularly democratic today, but I don't believe an absolute monarch will help Orïsha. If we are being realistic, I don't even know if a democratic one would either, but power in the hands of a diverse many would probably be better than power in the hands of one. Overall I enjoyed the story. I thought the plot was good and I enjoyed going with the characters as they (mostly) struggled to get magic back. Inan served to be a good character for demonstrating how our childhood can influence the kind of people we become and also serves as a nice foil to Amari, who has decided to be the opposite of her brother. Zélie is a good character to follow since she's so alive. She's got so much rage and love and fear and fire that pushes her every step of the way and helps her overcome so many things. I knocked off half a star for the frivolous reason that I don't like Inan and Zélie's romance and don't think it was necessary for the book. I'll be honest, the book was great, it was tough for me to put down even when I needed to, but for some reason I just don't have any desire to find out what happens in the next one. It's a bit like A Song of Wraiths and Ruin like that for me. I just...don't feel it. I don't think it has anything to do with either book since I couldn't make myself finish reading a new book by one of my favorite authors even though I was enjoying it so...just that kind of year, I suppose.

[yikesharringrove]

Quick q for your mango verse. Female alphas, do they carry?(and if they do carry, is it stigmatized?) and how does a female alpha/female omega pair produce pups? (Do they adopt?) (You mentiondd earlier that the only secondary gender to be determined by birth was a male omega, so I got curious) sorry/not sorry for making you expand this lovely universe of yours

I went in so DEEP this is all my thoughts on this universe and the gender/secondary gender politics of it.

Honestly, because this started as a drabble, I put SUCH little thought into it, lol, but as I’ve written, there have been more and more I’ve been dwelling on.

I’m gonna put it under the cut bc I talk genitals and stuff. Don’t want anyone to get uncomfy.

Here’s the Mango Masterlist, I’m gonna maybe put this somewhere in there. Maybe at the top.

So yes, how I always like to think of ABO is that male omegas have some combination of penis/vagina because I once read one where that was the case and I was like, hell yeah. It just kind of clicked into my brain.

Especially for this one, I’m not usually into mpreg unless it makes more sense for me, biologically, so like a trans person getting pregnant (which someone tagged the Mango series as trans!steve, which could TOTALLY work) or as I’ve written Steve, more on the intersex scale. I just think it’s interesting to bring this side of gender politics that very much exists into it and make it more.

HOWEVER, Steve can DEFINITELY be read as a trans man with a clit dick, so honestly, whatever you want. 

So, my original plan, when I introduced Robin, was to have her being a female alpha a kind of euphemism for her being a lesbian, and most omegas are female in this universe. My original thought was that female alphas would have a penis, but then I was asked to write about Nancy (and look me in the eyeballs and tell me that girl is NOT an alpha) so I was like, nvm and decided to scrap that, it also sets male omegas even further apart, as they are the only secondary gender to have a difference in external genitalia. I decided that when I wrote the part of them getting harassed.

So what I was thinking, was that Robin’s queerness comes in with her being attracted to other women, obvs, but also being attracted to other female alphas.

I think that with ABO, since they are these other secondary genders, there would be an even wider range of sexuality than in real life, so you could have omega women that are attracted to only alpha males, or only alpha females, or both or neither, etc, etc. Maybe a beta male that’s attracted to women, be they alpha or omega or beta. There are two different levels to sexuality alone that would be interesting to bring into play.

I think for Steve, he likes alphas. Doesn’t care male or female.

To me, for this universe, Steve is perfect for Billy. He likes the idea of omegas, but prefers males. Maybe he only dated male betas before he met Steve, so when he finds a male omega and it’s like he’s hit the Holy fucking Grail.

Nancy is an alpha that prefers betas, she likes to be more dominant, but doesn’t want someone to be completely reliant on her.

You bring up a SUPER interesting point, and I do really like the idea of. The world I've set up definitely caters more to alphas, but I think that there would be some kind of stigma against alpha women. I think a metaphor for it would be like, alpha males are the white cishet men of the world, they get away with everything and get it handed to them on a silver platter. There’s a LOT of privilege there. Alpha women are like white cishet women, they lose some of the privileges the men have, but they still have it WAY better than most.

So as I’m thinking about it, maybe because the way an alpha presents is their knot coming in, maybe when a female alpha presents, something similar happens where her clitoris enlarges. Because alpha males are rare, many alpha women date beta or alpha men, however, I think it’d be seen as kind of a pussy move by the world at large if a male alpha were to be with a female alpha.

Does any of this make sense? I honestly don’t know.

There are a lot of things I’ve thought about that I haven’t found a way of putting into the story since they are just snippets of time, but I thought it would be interesting to delve into Steve’s experience as a male omega, like maybe when he was born his parents could’ve had him undergo surgery and hormonal therapy to have him live as a female omega, as sometimes parents of intersex people do (which is something I DO NOT agree with, let people live) but they ultimately chose not to, which could then be reflected in how Steve’s mom tried to make amends after they moved to California.

This was a long tangent and didn’t answer a single thing you asked.

Female alphas carrying: I think yes, they can carry, but I think many would not want to. Part of the typical omega biology is wanting to carry pups, to nest and take care of life. I think many alpha women would choose not to have pups. They may feel the desire to reproduce, but don’t ultimately wouldn’t want to actually get pregnant. Maybe there is a well-established culture of omega surrogates. For female alphas that choose to carry, I think they would be looked at as lesser, like maybe they are with a male alpha, and she is seen as a lesser alpha for submitting to her man’s primal urge to impregnate, even though it was a decision they both made.

I think in this universe, female alphas/female omegas can’t procreate together, but as I mentioned, maybe there is a strong culture of surrogacy like many male alphas donate sperm and many female omegas are willing to act as surrogates for those that can’t procreate on their own, and having a surrogate or using a sperm donor is seen as fairly normal.

There is still a large sense of homophobia, as the stigma Billy and Steve face is largely that Steve is a guy, but that also has an air of anti-intersex or transphobia, seeing as the real rub is that he is a male omega, it’s the combination of the two that people are mostly discriminatory against. I think in terms of stigma, male alpha with a male omega is like, BAD, and then from most stigmatized to widely accepted and celebrated would be male alpha with male alpha, male beta, female alpha, female beta, female omega. 

To use an analogy from modern-day, a person may be accepting of a gay couple, but if they find out one of the people in the couple is a gay trans man, then they are transphobic and problematic about that.

Steve also is faced with transphobia and anti-intersex moments in the form of people asking him about his genitals. That is something that many trans and intersex people are harassed with and it’s disgusting, but I think that would be many people’s go-to form of harassment with him, like the guys in part 26.

As I mentioned, Robin may face discrimination from being a female alpha, being a female alpha attracted to women, but it is more the combination of being attracted to female + alpha that creates the same homophobia she would face in real life 1980s.

(I also was going to go into how transness may work in this ‘verse, since I think being under the trans umbrella would come into play with both sets of gender, and a person could be non-tertiary (? like non-binary but with 3 established gender roles) but this post is already so long if anyone wants to know my thoughts, feel free to reach out.)

I hope this kind of explained somethings, I went on long tangents without really answering your actual questions, and I kinda feel like J.K. Rowling not mentioning any of this stuff because it’s not a part of Harry’s journey, but this has been where my brain is at in terms of writing this drabble series. The more it progresses, the more I think about certain aspects of it, and I think a LOT about how gender and sexual politics would be established in this world.

As always, if I have said or done something harmful and problematic, please come and start a discussion with me, I am always willing to learn and I understand that in talking about certain things I do not experience, I can get stuff wrong and be insensitive.

[arks-self-ship]

I’ve mentioned before I cannot stop thinking about Nighty cause my brain is like “holy fuck we’ve been together roughly 6 years” so here’s a rough timeline of us

Please note this is our world life, and is very different from my real life and my experiences have been different. Some pieces have changed over the years to fit who I am (especially with my transition). Some details will vary on occasion but Nighty is the only one who I have an actual guideline for us

(Huge lore dump below)

2014- first meet, I was new to the institute and wasn’t really good at fighting and had trouble making friends with everyone. Kurt asked for my help setting up a prank on Jean cause I happened to be walking by and we started talking and found out we shared an interest in games and listened to a lot of the same music. Ended up being good friends and I started hanging out with him and kitty quite a bit, but wasn’t real close with the rest of the team because of how shy I was. Already knew I was a guy and had hormone blockers and a binder, my uniform had a compressor which was a lot safer and ended up wearing that under my clothes sometimes instead. Wasn’t yet ready to cut my hair to short yet. Depression had started before I even joined the team and was dealing with a  lot of personal stuff. The professor had helped me change my name legally before even joining which was nice

2015- Starting opening up to the team and getting closer with everyone and made some friends at school who were Kurt’s friends but didn’t really have any friends of my own yet. Was getting a lot better at fighting and getting a handle on my powers, and discovered I could use emotional energy to create real bursts later in the year. Started getting really into my art around this time too. Kurt was apparently starting to question his sexuality too but tried not to think about it. Came out to Kurt that I was trans at this point, later in the year told Kitty too. 

Around the middle of the year Kurt kissed me for the first time, we had just been hanging out in my room laying on my bed talking honestly about ourselves and having a nice conversation about our lives. I was caught off guard and didn’t kiss back and he panicked and teleported away. It was a couple days before we really had a chance to be alone and I kissed him back finally, and we ended up talking for a long time about what this meant for us. We ended up being like “We’re still best friends, but now there’s some new stuff to that”, and Kurt wasn’t ready to come out yet so we dated secretly and only Kitty knew. Kurt identified as Bi for a time while he sorted out his feelings but ended up realizing he was just gay late in the year. I was still ace but knew i was bi-romantic

2016- The Professor was really helpful and said he would help pay for any transitioning I wanted to do, as long as I did my best on the team and in school. Ended up telling the rest of the team one by one that I was trans, not everyone really got it but they were supportive and nice about it. Really started to get better at my powers and finally cut my hair real short and had a mohawk for a bit until I settled for an undercut later in the year. Made some friend’s of my own who tended to be the “scary kids” but were actually super chill and played a lot of video games. Ended up getting top surgery as soon as I could.

Same year mutantkind got exposed to the world and I had trouble going back to school with that going on and my depression hit hard, but Kurt was there to help. My new friends thought it was super cool I had powers tho and were a nice support system

Early in the year we had accidentally gotten caught kissing by Toad, who I ended up making him swear to secrecy under the threat of beating the shit out of him. Turns out, he was gay too! So as long as he didn’t tell anyone about us we wouldn’t tell anyone about him, but we ended up on pretty decent terms with him later on. Later though R/ogue borrowed Kurt’s powers in a fight and learned we were dating, but she also promised not to tell anyone. We were also pretty sure Logan, the professor and Jean all knew but weren’t sure (they did)

2017- Pretty chill year, until towards the end where me and Kurt got caught kissing at school by a kid we didn’t know and the news spread through the school really fast. It was really rough on him, but I ended up bringing him into my new non-mutant friend group cause they were mostly queer too. The team learning about it was… awkward to say the least but they we’re pretty chill about it. Because of this Kurt ended up coming out to his parents when he went home for Christmas that year right before he came back. It was rough at first and they didn’t really get it but were the awkward kind of supportive. I mean their kid was already blue and teleported, being gay wasn’t that shocking.

Me and Kurt had gotten really serious around this time, and were talking about our future together, but we were avoiding talking about college because we were scared we’d want to go separate places and long distance was really scary

2018- Senior year was rough for both of us, my grades were doing terribly and the depression didn’t help and everyone knowing about us being together and being mutants was really not helping. If we didn’t have each other I don’t think we could have made it through it, and I probably would have dropped out. I barely graduated but only because Jean helped tutor me and secretly some of my friends did some of the work for me so I could focus on things that were more of a priority. Graduating was so nice, but I suffered severe burnout that summer, and did nothing almost the entire time. Kurt also got an upgraded holowatch at this time that didn’t constantly break on him and was way more durable. I also figured out how to make the emotional energy take shape, easiest things are simple objects and its usually weapons (Swords, bats, bow, ect)

A couple things with our relationship did happen though, that Christmas I went to go meet Kurt’s family. They were super nice, but really awkward and it was nice to get away for a bit. While we were there we ended up finally talking about college and our plans. I knew I wanted to learn psychology and Kurt still wasn’t sure of his plans, but we ended up deciding to do the community college to get our general classes done first and that would buy us more time to figure things out.

2019- Took a gap year together and ended up traveling together across the country in a van. It was a great way to de-stress from everything and finally get a break from being superheroes too. The whole thing brought us a lot closer and Kurt tried to propose at one point while we were traveling, I ended up saying no but in a more of a “Not yet” kind of way, because of how young we are. We talked about it, and agreed we would get engaged when we were a bit older but we kept the rings as promise rings for that one day when we would try that again. We also ended up getting our hair streaks not long before we went back to the institute as a surprise for everyone, plus we thought it was cute.

Please note that the continuity of if there is a virus in this AU shifts based on what I’m feeling for the day cause sometimes I wanna daydream about going out 😔

2020- oh my god this year has been crazy, we started college together and finally being able to be out has been so nice. Or it was until ya know… we got hit with a plague (yup we have that here too) and have mostly been doing classes online which is a shame. We were both looking forward to campus life and being locked in the institute all the time is a nightmare, especially with all the new students that we’ve been roped into helping teach… But hey, hopefully things will be getting better soon!

2020 revised- This year has been wild, there’s so many new kids at the institute now! The professor keeps roping us in to help teach. Being back on the team though is super nice! Although we do have a new member, Laura, who Logan just apparently brought out of nowhere even tho she was the girl who attacked us a couple years back? She’s kinda odd but she’s trying her best (I think…). College has been interesting, some of my friends ended up moving away but some stayed in town which it’s been nice having classes with them.

Some things have stayed the same in both versions tho!

Kurt’s birth mom (M//ystique) has finally been working to turn over a new leaf. She’s definitely not a good guy but she’s not working with the bad guys anymore? Which i guess is progress?? She’s been trying to reconnect with Kurt and R/ogue, it’s been slow cause R/ogue doesn’t want anything to do with her really but Kurt’s talked to her a few times and they’ve gotten lunch a couple times. I guess after the apocalypse thing it kinda made her think about things, and then Kurt and me being gone for so long kinda made her really reconsider things.

It seems most of the brotherhood is still in town tho, which has caused some problems and they have a couple new members too which has been… a problem. M//agneto has been laying low though, which has been nice so the brotherhood hasn’t done anything to bad.

Being back at the school is kinda nice though, I missed being around my friends and luckily the school has had renovations and expansions so there’s more rooms and the senior/core team rooms have their own bathrooms! Which, holy shit is so nice…

Who knows what the future holds for us, but as long as we’re together I know we’ll be fine

[honeymoonjin]

enjoy your stay - chapter fourteen

A/N - I don’t put links in anymore so that this comes up on search, but check my masterlist linked in my bio for links to every previous/future chapter.

Word count 3k. This chapter was really hard to write, but our Y/n could only keep up her path of destruction for so long, now, could she? 

ENJOY YOUR STAY ↳Boss!Namjoon, Chef!Jin, Receptionist!Hoseok, Bellboy!Jimin, Bartender!Jungkook, Accountant!Yoongi, Photography student!Taehyung ↳Some inappropriate language and cursing. Later chapters have sexual content.

SUMMARY ↳Working the graveyard shift at a hotel isn’t the most exciting job in the world, but your coworkers are certainly happy to have you here.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN ↳All your mistakes and poor decisions catch up with you. 

Jungkook was pissed when he walked in on you. To him, you had been in a weird mood the whole day and he was getting worried about you, only to walk in on you getting your rocks off. He wanted to know why you didn’t come to him if you were in the mood, and you kept insisting you weren’t together, so you shouldn’t sleep with him. As if that had seemed to ever stop you recently.

Your mention of the fact that you were no longer together, however temporarily, reminded Jungkook of his end of the deal, and the argument fizzled when he asked you, shyly, like it was real, if you were ready to go meet his parents.

They had invited him up to stay overnight, and since you had already called in sick to work, there was no decent reason for you to say no. You were certain his parents would be stiff business types who would slowly dish out vague hints to how disappointed they were in his change in career path, and you kind of assumed it would be a quick visit just to prove the existence of Jungkook’s ‘girlfriend.’

Because of after-work traffic, Google suggested it would take over 90 minutes to drive there, but you knew for a fact the train ride was only twenty minutes, as it cut through tunnels instead of taking detours around the hilly regions between the two towns. The tickets were purchased, and small overnight bags were packed, and the two of you got on the train within the space of an hour or so.

You found yourself at Jungkook’s parents’ house earlier than you were prepared for. It wasn’t a long train ride – actually quicker than it would have been if you drove due to the weekend traffic – and before you knew it you were shaking his father’s hand and receiving a tight hug from his mother and sitting down for some tea.

You could see a lot of Jungkook in them; his mother had the same doe eyes and his father shared his delicate bone-structure. Not just in terms of looks, though. Mr. Jeon was every bit the energizer bunny, even in his early fifties, and he wasted no time in dashing to the bookshelf and grabbing a photo album, showing you picture upon picture of chubby baby Jungkook, cheeky toddler Jungkook, and lanky teenager Jungkook.

It made your heart swell to see the clearly strong bond between them. On the way over, you had thought back to when Jungkook first told you about how his parents wanted him to go into business against his interests, and you were concerned they’d be coldhearted, hard-assed people that would passive aggressively insult the two of you for being everything they were not.

But as you blew gently at the too-hot tea and looked over the numerous photos with his father, you were pleasantly surprised. They seemed like lovely, caring people who just wanted the best for their son.

“Ah, there he is at the school fair. Him and his best friend Min Jae came up with a service where they’d change all the wires and the codes of your computer and make it nicer-”

Jungkook groaned and rolled his eyes. “Dad, I’ve told you this a million times, we literally just scanned anti-virus software for people that didn’t know how to do it themselves.”

“Well. That’s what I said, isn’t it?” His father turns to you with a querying look in his eyes, rounding up his lips in the exact mirror image of Jungkook’s confused expression. You smile warmly and just shrug. “Ah, it’s all French to me. Never been good with those things. You know, Jungkook, your mother and I always thought it was your entrepreneurship coming through, but maybe it was just your computer whiz brain, you smarty pants.”

Jungkook whined in embarrassment, but you just grinned at him and wiggled your eyebrows.

“Anyway, my dear, how did you meet my son?”

You glance over to Mrs. Jeon while the men continued talking. “Oh, at work, ma’am.”

She adjusts her glasses and takes another sip of tea. “Mm, and what do you do at the hotel?”

“I’m assistant to the manager.”

“Is my Kookie a good worker?”

For a moment, you don’t know whether to sing his praises to please her or to be honest, but she has a twinkle in her wide eyes that tells you she knows her son isn’t exactly a hotshot.

“If he ever gets the opportunity to actually serve a drink, I’ll be sure to tell you.”

Mrs. Jeon cackles, a laugh completely opposite from Jungkook’s, but it’s so contagious you join her. “Ah, my darling son. You know, when he first started working there, back when he still lived with us,” you can’t help but notice the way her tone flattens and her smile droops slightly on that phrase, “he would always come home and tell us at breakfast time what a hard day’s night he’d had. For a while, we really thought they were overworking him there with the way he’d complain. I even once called Mr. Kim myself.” You burst into a fresh pack of giggles. “He was so confused!”

Eventually the men stop their conversation and stare at the two of you cackling like hyenas. Mr. Jeon turned to Jungkook with a fond grin. “Seems like you found a good one, son. These two are as thick as thieves already.”

Jungkook leans over and gives your hand a squeeze. “I got lucky.”

Your smile strains slightly, and you fight to keep a neutral expression. You weren’t with Jungkook, you had only come here because he apparently wanted to keep his parents off his back, but now he was looking at you like you were the most magical person in the world. If it was obvious to you, you knew his parents would be able to see it too. You were worried that they’d start getting curious. This was a bad idea.

“Jungkook,” you breathe, staring deep into his eyes, “I can’t…” His parents were staring at the two of you questioningly, and you didn’t want to disappoint them or anything, but you were getting cold feet about the whole thing. They were so lovely, and you wouldn’t have agreed had you known they would care this much about their son. And Jungkook certainly wasn’t acting like you were just some girlfriend. “I don’t know if we should keep-”

“We have something to tell you,” Jungkook blurted out, locking your gaze with panicked eyes. “I guess Y/n just can’t wait, hah.” You tip your head to the side, a strange feeling in your chest. What was he doing? “Mum, dad, I know you felt a little strange about me moving in with someone for the first time, let alone a girl. But I hope now that you’ve spent some time with her, you’ll see why I love her so much, and-”

“Jungkook!” you hiss, but he’s not looking at you anymore, just holding tightly onto your hand as he beams at his parents.

“-and you’ll be happy for me when I tell you…we’re getting married.”

If life was a simulation, it just crashed. You feel like your world has frozen completely, like the only cogs still turning are the ones in your brain.

Had he planned this, or had he freaked out when you tried to back out of the whole thing? If you were an outsider, you would believe him. With the dreamy smile and the starry look in his eyes, you would honestly believe that he was hopelessly in love with you. Fuck, maybe he really was. You were really screwed then.

Like moving through treacle, you turn to face his parents, who mirror your dumbfounded expression of shock. Though, unlike you, they don’t seem completely opposed to the idea. Time begins to catch up with itself, and you tune your ears back into the world around you.

“Isn’t it a bit sudden to-”

“-sure about this?”

“I suppose congratulations are in-”

“Have you set a date yet?”

You can barely process what you hear, and you put all the energy in your body into your hands, prying his fingers away from yours and standing up to run down the hall to the entry foyer.

Ignoring the way Jungkook called out to you desperately from the living room, you fumbled with the lock and burst out into the open air, feeling sick to your stomach. Rather than risk sitting on the porch and having one of them follow you, you half-ran down the street, in the general direction of the train station.

Once you ran out of breath, you stopped and collapsed onto a bus stop bench, chest heaving and eyes burning.

You could only imagine the chaos that had broken out at the Jeon family home, and a part of you felt guilty that Jungkook would now have to explain to his parents what was really going on. Or maybe he’d just lie again, dig the two of you into a deeper hole. You were coming to learn that you really couldn’t predict Jungkook, and what he would do under pressure. It was silly of you to ever get involved with him, you knew that, you had always known that, but somehow you could never think straight around him.

You sighed bitterly, about to continue your trek towards the train station, but pausing when you remembered your ticket was for tomorrow morning.

The two of you had meant to stay the night, Jungkook insisting his mom made amazing kimchi stew and wanted you to stay for dinner, and in an effort to save money from your struggling bank account, you had paid a cheaper price for non-exchangeable tickets.

You slumped back onto the cold concrete bench and considered your options. It was freezing outside, being the end of winter, so you needed to find a place to stay. You couldn’t go back to the Jeon home, not after leaving so spectacularly, and you didn’t want to fork out for a hotel.

You bit your lip and pulled out your phone, opening your list of contacts. Maybe someone could come pick you up. Not Jimin, that would be too weird, and things had ended poorly with Yoongi. Hoseok, you recalled, was babysitting his niece again. Taehyung probably didn’t have a license, although it would’ve been nice to spend some more time with him, perfecting your evil plan (a plan that seemed unbelievably childish of you now that you were being confronted by your own poor decisions). It might’ve been weird to call your boss, so that left you with one choice.

He didn’t ask questions until he had arrived an hour or so later and bundled you into his car. The two of you drove in silence for the first forty minutes, until you entered the town and he had to pick a lane. “Am I going back to your apartment?” he asked finally, voice slightly deep from not using it.

You shook your head, then realized he wasn’t looking at you. “No. Jungkook will take the train back tomorrow morning. I don’t know if I can face him.”

Jin just nodded solemnly and flicked on his indicator to switch lanes. “You might not appreciate this, but I’m doing this because I’m concerned about you.”

You don’t understand what he means, assuming he’s taking you to his house, but when he pulls up a driveway to a small, cottage-style house, he knocks on the door rather than using a key.

“Jin, where are we?”

He doesn’t answer. After a short time, you hear some motion inside, and someone come to the door. Your heart skips a beat when it’s your boss that answers, rubbing his eyes like he’s just been woken up, still in some worn-out plaid pajamas and bedhair.

He sees Jin first and blinks. “Jin! Are you…?”

“No, I’m not here for… I think you and Y/n need to have a talk.” He steps aside to reveal you and you wave awkwardly. Namjoon presses his lips together, but nods and lets you in.

Namjoon’s house is cozy, with a fire still smoldering in the hearth and the couch bundled with heavy throws and plump cushions, but you can’t help but feel extremely uncomfortable.

Jin doesn’t look at you, just pats your back a little and stares at the floor. You know he means well, but it feels like being led to the principal’s office. Jin only knows what you told him on the phone, that you needed a ride because you couldn’t stay with Jungkook anymore, so you don’t know what he thinks happened, but somehow he’s had the foresight to recognize the gravity of the situation, and brought you here.

Namjoon’s put on some jeans and pulled a sweater over his pajama shirt, and he sits across from you like a concerned parent. “What happened?”

You blink up at the light in the ceiling, swallowing hard. “Jungkook, ah, we’ve been…dating…for a bit, but we had a disagreement. I just needed some space.”

He takes a deep breath and fixes on his most understanding gaze. “You’ve been dating.” You nod, but still don’t meet his gaze. “So, he was the one you talked to me about, the one you were having a fling with?”

Before you think, your mouth goes. “No, that was-” You break off and squeeze your eyes shut, but it’s too late.

Jin’s hand recoils from your back when you say this, and when Namjoon replies, his voice is cold. “Y/n, I suspect you have a lot to tell me, and I do expect your complete honesty here.”

You nod miserably and take a shaky breath. “Okay.”

Neither Jin nor Namjoon say a word as you explain. You start right from when it all went downhill, Jin, and how Taehyung interfered and exacerbated the situation from there. You told them about Jimin. You told them about Jungkook, then Suga, then Jungkook again. As you told your shameful story to a stone-faced audience, it was all you could do not to cry. Just putting it in words made you realize just how terrible you had been; the countless mistakes you made over and over again.

Once you were done, the room fell into a tense silence. You bit your trembling lip and buried your face in your hands.

After a full minute or so, Namjoon clears his throat with a harsh cough. “I’m extremely disappointed in your, frankly, disgusting behavior.”

You let out a sob but will yourself to hold it together. “I know.”

His voice is flat, with a tremble of some deep-running emotion that you can’t quite decipher. “I don’t think you do know, otherwise you would’ve taken one of the countless opportunities not to do what you did.”

You look up at him, at his stiff stare. “I’m so sorry, Namjoon, I’ll do anything to-”

He cuts you off. “You did do anything and look where that got you.” He scoffs humorlessly and shakes his head. “God, I told you that you could come to me with anything and I wouldn’t judge, but this…this is just unforgiveable. You’ve made a mockery of me, of my business.”

From beside you, Jin speaks up gently. “Sir, it takes two to tango, I think we should also-”

Namjoon turns on Jin. “Did you know about this? You were first in line; did you get her hooked on sexual misconduct or something? Of all people, Jin, I never expected you to encourage that kind of behavior.”

Jin sighs heavily. “I’m as shocked as you are, Namjoon. Really. I’m not agreeing with her, I’m not saying what she did was right, but you and I-”

“What we had was different,” Namjoon spits out. “I thought you would know that.” He lets out a growl and kicks the leg of the coffee table, turning to you with eyes burning. “Fuck! My chef, my bellboy, my accountant, my fucking brother! Has my judgement of character gone so downhill that I would hire someone like you?” He tenses his jaw, returning his voice to a reasonable volume, although somehow his deceptively calm demeanor felt so much worse. “You’re fired. You’re going to go drop off your uniform and key and never come back. You’re lucky I don’t sue.”

“Jesus, Namjoon,” Jin breathes out, “can’t you at least give her the months’ notice in her contract? She still has to get her things in order, get a new job. She was so desperate to get her finances in order she slept with someone, how are you gonna kick her to the curb like that?”

Namjoon laughs bitterly. “Oh, she won’t be getting a new job. The moment I get a call from a potential employer I’ll let them know exactly what they’re in for should they hire her. You should’ve thought about job security before you made your way through my team.”

You shuffle a bit on the couch, feeling the weight of the world crushing you. “I’m so sorry, sir. But please, if it’s not the full month, just two weeks. One week! If I don’t get another source of income, I’ll lose my apartment!”

He stares you down, lips pressed together. Finally, he sighs. “Tonight’s shift is your last shift. I’ll pay you two weeks’ severance, but I don’t want to see your face again.”

You nod. “Thank you, Namjoon,” you say tearfully.

He turns his head to the side. “That starts now,” he replies flatly. “Please leave. Jin, you stay. I need to speak with you in private.”

Jin grumbles a little, but stays put nonetheless. You stand up, feeling your legs wobble unsteadily beneath you. “For what it’s worth,” you say finally, feeling the dam break and your tears come out full throttle, “this was the best job I’ve ever had.”

But Namjoon’s still looking angrily down at the floor. “I’m glad you had fun.”

You sigh in resignation and make your way out the front door.

Tell me what you think Y/n is going to do next now that her past is catching up with her! What will she do without a job? Who can she turn to in her time of need? And whatever happened to Jungkook?

TAGLIST (message me or send an ask to be added, and you’ll get a notification every time I post a new chapter of EYS.)

@xxqueenwxtchxx @fandomarchive00 @cvbachacbitch@echimozart @thisgirlis-shy @sweetcheeksdna @boononx@sweetlittleviper @youngmsfts @kpopfromtheblock 

[smoulderingsilver]

PROFILE ; MADDOX H. RIESMAN

GENERAL.

full name.  Maddox Henry Riesman pronunciation.  Mad-ox Hen-ree  Reez-mun nicknames.  Mado, Maddy (he’ll smile at you with nothing but malice if you call him this), Silver Tongue height. 179 cm / 5’10” age.  33 years old zodiac. Scorpio languages. English (fluent), Korean & Chinese (semi-fluent), Spanish (conversational); learning Russian.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  Ash blonde with a natural crescent-shape streak of black eye colour.  Light brown skin tone.  Pale, rosy. body type.  Athletic mesomorph – broad shoulders and firm wide chest, slightly slender overall build with long-ish legs and moderately toned musculature accent.  Hints of a Korean accent due to being raised in South Korea for part of his life, but it’s mellowed out as he’s aged; general American accent when speaking other languages except Korean dominant hand.  Right hand posture.  Seemingly “at ease”, but keeps shoulders straight and body language closed off scars.  Highly noticeable scars all along his knuckles from self defense and numerous fights he got into as a teenager (and sometimes when he’s a bit unlucky, still gets into when out working in the field). A long, jagged scar running down from his left shoulder blade to the left side of his rib cage. A thin scar running from just above the bridge of his nose to his cheek just beneath his right eye tattoos.  None, supposedly (a brand mark right beneath left pectoral, with jagged edges and a few burn scars around it that imply he did not get branded willingly) most noticeable features.  Bright brown eyes, the natural black crescent in his hair, scarred knuckles, rectangular jaw, stature

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  Changwon, South Korea hometown.   Seattle, Washington (verse dependent/non-canon) birth weight / height.  – manner of birth.  C-section first words.  Aside from “mom/eomma” (엄마) and “dad/appa” (아빠); “sun/taeyang” (태양) and “cat/goyang-i” (고양이). siblings.  Estranged older sister, Leslie Riesman parents.  Aaron Riesman (father), Jieun Riesman (mother) parental involvement.  He keeps in regular touch with his mother and father, though talks more regularly to his mother. He holds no grudges or qualms with them, though as a former politician, his father doesn’t quite agree with Maddox’s line of work as an investigative journalist. They don’t argue over it, though. His mother shows more interest in her son’s life than his father, and though she doesn’t dote on him or make excuses for him, tends to show softer mannerisms with him. It’s uncertain if she knows of his other line of work, but if she does, she keeps mum about it

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  Investigative journalist; a “handyman” willing to be commissioned for most any type of dirty work current residence.  Seattle, Washington ( close friends.  Cyril A. Whittaker and Jamali Bernard partners:  In terms of a significant other, none; has one night stands here and there and open to having friends with benefits relationship status.  Single financial status.  Middle class, supposedly; could be considered “wealthy”, but said wealth comes from dirty money that he has no intention of flaunting or using on frivolous things driver’s license.  Yes criminal record.  One charge of disturbing the peace as a minor; aside from that, “clean”. However, he’s committed arson, destroyed/fabricated evidence, forged documents, fabricated alibis, perjury, murder, leaking classified documents, accomplice to murder, selling illegal firearms... the list goes on.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.  Bisexual romantic orientation.  Biromantic preferred emotional role.  Submissive | Dominant | Switch |  Unsure preferred sexual role.  Submissive  |  Dominant  |  Switch |  Sex repulsed libido. “Medium”/ somewhat high, but he doesn’t pay it much attention turn on’s.  Choking, biting, scratching/cutting, restraints/handcuffing, rough sex,  knife play, blood play, dom/sub, crying/generally any emotional outburst (what can I say, he’s awful), orgasm control/denial, sensory deprivation, dirty talk, marking, semi-public, and if he knew monsters existed he’d without a DOUBT be a tetraphiliac. turn off’s.  Generally any kind of jealousy if you’re not in a closed relationship with him (then it’s a turn-on), age play of any kind, role playing (you gotta be special for him to even try it), anything soft or emotionally vulnerable UNLESS he has romantic interest in you. love language.  Relatively unknown since he’s not very in touch with the softer side of himself, but definitely more open communication, prolonged physical contact, acts of service, and overall a bit of a softer attitude. If he loves you, you’ll see it in the body language first and foremost. relationship tendencies.  Never has time for them, she claims. In fact, she doesn’t. She isn’t averse to entering a relationship, but she doesn’t have the time nor the patience to carry the emotional and mental burden it’d require at the moment.

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song(s). Only A Lad -- Oingo Boingo / 100 Years a Rockstar -- Akiakane / Reaper Man -- Mother Mother hobbies to pass the time. Hiking/backpacking, reading horror and crime fiction, writing short stories here and there, studying Russian & practicing his Chinese and Korean to maintain it, watching cultural documentaries, occasionally playing a video game or two (though he’s not particularly fun of them), barhopping, catching up with old friends, “going off the grid” every once in a while, keeping “study journals”. mental illnesses. Some would speculate he may be have narcissistic personality disorder or even a sociopath, but all mental health screening and clinical visits show no signs of either disorder. However, he does show mild signs of suffering from auditory hallucinations and a few confabulated memories here and there physical illnesses.  Suffers from migraines from time to time left or right brained.  Right brained fears.  He’ll lie and tell you he doesn’t particularly like heights or sudden loud noises, but his actual “fear” is never facing real consequences for his actions self confidence level.  A bit above average, though his self-control and cool, collected confidence easily give the sense that he’s a bit too self-involved vulnerabilities. Emotional “literacy” when it comes to his own emotional well-being, the sudden panic attacks he occasionally deals with (in all verses), being too self-assured in his anonymity (even though he DOES want someone to eventually make sure karma comes for him).

Tagged by: stole it from @conoscenze with my sticky little gremlin hands Tagging: @aemiliiu @nacoilltean @victeux @hhemeraa @archivierten @hyacinthsgirl @rogue-valor @illdivine @gnasccr @absolutelaw @shadyinfo @aestuavis

[wiredandrewired]

Was trying to actually work on something but my brain is stuck on loop.  So instead I’m gonna make a post of the Voltron stuff sitting unposted in my writing WIP folder to help me organize my thoughts.

I guess since I’m posting this, if you have anything you wanna say/ask about any of these feel free.  I respond well to outside interest.

1. Project ReVolt is without a doubt the project I’ve posted about the most here.  And talked about in random tags.  And tangents.  Originally it was just the name the project had in my internal brain filing cabinet but it’s kind of spread and stuck to where my wife and I just refer to it as that when we talk about it.

ReVolt is basically going to be a VLD series rewrite more along the lines of how my wife and I would have done it or at least liked to see it done.  In some places it will probably stick pretty damn close to the events of the series canon, but in others go completely off the deep end.  We’re each going to be doing one, so a lot of the headcanon and worldbuilding and such that we’ve worked out together in various other stories and RPs will be consistent between the two stories, but it will also give us a place to veer out and do things without the others’ input (as we’re not gonna let each other see our fics until they post, tee hee).  I’ve done a SHITPOT of rules and infrastructure work using actual alchemy tracts to try and make sense of the series’ largely Powers As The Plot Demands system,  and am pretty convinced I’m going to A)fall hard into my very common Esoterica Ranting Mode pitfall and B)enrage literally everyone who reads it with my character and plot choices.  Most conservative estimate says this will be six ‘books’ long as again, we’re doing literally the entire series.  Current status: at the ‘ridiculously large amount of notes and setting up actual arcs and outlines’ stage, and waiting for the wife to finish ‘Happier HOPEless’.

2. There Are No Monsters Here is a fic I really want to do but cannot seem to get off the ground, set to take place entirely in the ‘last universe’ from season 8--the one native-Honerva died in and crazed-death-god-Honerva picked out as her ideal and tried to wedge herself into.  I guess the basic idea was that, like the ‘main’ universe, it got rebuilt pretty much as it was prior to Nightmare Mom Ruining Everything, and I have it with no one fully remembering the events of season 8 that took place there, but characters really closely tied to those events having some itching feeling that something happened, and all the Altean alchemists agreeing that some kind of massive quantum Event certainly occurred even if they don’t know what.  

Mostly the story exists as  a place for me to have a canon-compliant AU that still lets me explore stuff like Altean history, the racial and cultural tensions of the Coalition, dink around with Oldadins that DON’T die in one fell swoop, a living Daibazaal and Altea, Lotor growing up with a decent-but-not-without-strains relationship with his dad, teen Allura and tiny Lotor being absolute shits to each other while also coming to terms as they grow up with who and what they MUST be both on a political and quantum scale, and generally prove that even a perfect universe isn’t, all in one place.  The title is entirely facetious, and anyone who’s read any of my alien culture headcanons for this series knows that.  Lol.  Current status: lots of bits and pieces, but no good beginning or connective tissue.   I have a lot of notes, some arc outlines, and a few scattered scenes and bits of dialogue from later in the story, but my god, I CANNOT get it off the ground.

3. Someone Must Get Hurt (But It Won’t Be Me) is supposed to be a pretty wholly Honerva-centric fic that starts...sometime in her youth?...and carries forward to an as-yet-undetermined point.  Probably her death.  I mean the first one.  I’m not sure.  Another chance to dig my fingers into Altean culture and Alchemy, this time leading up to All The Bad Shit That Happened, with the added bonus of being done from a focal point of a character I have a lot of really strong feelings about both positive and negative that’s resulted in me somehow being EVEN MORE wrapped up in her than I was before I added abject knee-jerk trauma hatred to the mix.  In no way meant to make Honerva more sympathetic, I think I just want to write her even more like my mother so I’ll feel EVEN BETTER about killing her?  Idk man my feelings about her are so complicated.  Also an excuse to write a shitpot of her and Zarkon because listen, I’m really glad they’re married because I ship them so fuckin hard.   Current Status: SO many notes.  SO much infrastructure.  Like three pages of an opening I’m almost definitely throwing away because I can’t decide where, when, or how to open but feel like this isn’t it.  One short but very telling scene of Honey and Zarkon from late in the story.  I’m obsessed with it but I can’t get anywhere. 

4. Currently Untitled Demon Hunter AU started because my wife talks to me about Happier HOPEless a LOT and I just got an itch in my bones to work on one myself.  In spite of the entire Demon Hunter AU thing getting started by a prompt on a Shance blog, neither Shiro nor Lance are set to appear for at least a chapter?  And I am not confident in my ability to not veer off into utter non-shipping anyway because man, am I bad at it.  Or like...just an entirely different ship for either or both of them.  Current Status: A lot of vague notes, a POWERFUL urge to structure the chapters and overall arc after Ripley’s Gates even though that limits my chapter count and means I will DEFINITELY have 20k+ word chapters, and about seven pages of the first chapter so I guess I’m committed now?

5. Currently Untitled Post Series Fic basically exists for me to vent my frustrations about two main things: The Universe is Fucking Huge And There Are Dangers Other Than Galra, and The Galra Empire Was Huge and Is Not Going To All Fall In Line Behind Voltron Coalition and Especially Behind Keith Who Just Arbitrarily Fucking Decided To Tell Them They Couldn't Pick A New Leader According To Their Own Traditions And Need To Do What They’re Told Now What The Fuck.  Also there was a lot of stuff in the series that got left hanging, and while ReVolt is an IN-series fix-it fic, I wanted something that patched up loose ends in a way that was satisfactory to me but also kind of canon-compliant.  Current Status: A lot of notes and screaming.  No one has seen my progress on this and they might never.

6. Dog Runs And Death Dreams is a warmup file turned deeply self-indulgent series of scenes in which I choose to assume that Shiro’s rare neuromuscular disorder was left so ambiguous so I could plug the symptoms of mine into it.  It’s genuinely not any deeper than that.  The whole thing is set pre-Kerberos, and includes copious Shiro x Adam content because of it, but also not the kind that makes me feel good about writing because that means it includes the ‘slow fizzle’ that leads up to their breakup before the mission.  Ugh.  Working on it does make me feel better when I've been having symptoms, though, and I’ve been letting myself write it, unchastised, in a really loose rambly way that I usually deride myself for.  It’s just cathartic.  Current Status: no notes, no plan, just strain-writing between seizures, but somehow it feels like it has some kind of structure and just keeps growing?  Possibly too close to the bone for me to ever post.

7. Birth and Rebirth was born out of two things: the fact that Zarkon is shown to have two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT reactions to first being presented with his baby son in different flashbacks and different seasons, and the fact that in spite of the flashbacks we get at the end of the series, earlier on, the impression I got of Lotor and Zarkon’s relationship wasn’t of a young man who had never had affection from his father, but who had instead lost it.  Well, three things: I have a lot of underlying issues at work, at play, and at large when it comes to the Galra Imperial Family.  Also, anyone notice the monitor blips in the first baby Lotor flashbacks indicate a heart murmur?  Anyway, it was supposed to be a thoroughly self-indulgent and thoroughly self-hurtful examination of Lotor’s early life and the death by degrees of what was left of his father in the husk Rift Adventures left behind, but I got stuck on it a little way in.   Current Progress: ten pages, a lot of notes, and some wistfulness.  I keep hoping I’ll get inspired to pick it back up again.  Contemplating rewriting some of the beginning, maybe it’ll help?

Bonus entry that is not actually in any form of progress soever:

50/50 Voltron Trashfire Edition is spawned from the ‘50/50′ challenge on an old TF board I used to haunt.  It’s a fifty-prompt smut challenge using the list of ‘50 reasons to have sex’ from some tv show, and the idea is to write a different ship for every prompt (hence the name).  My wife is blazing through it and has several (like twelve?) up on her AO3, but I’ll be utterly blunt: I haven’t written fifty porn fics in my LIFE.  Over ALL my fandoms.  Current Status: Literally all I have done is assign a ship to each prompt, and I might actually have some prompts with just question marks beside them still.  I have one aborted start to one entry.  That’s it.  It’s not happening.  But the empty file is technically in the folder, SO.

[moistwithgender]

Curry Read 60s Marvel, King-Size, Nuff Said

According to my tag, it took me about a month to get through this decade (eight years, technically), spending most of my free time reading. I’ve been following Comic Book Herald’s “My Marvelous Year” reading guide because it seemed like the quickest way through while cutting out the chaff. This was not...consistently the case. But, I’m still glad I followed it because this started out with me just chewing through early Spider-Man in black and white (don’t do this to yourself, nice flat colors do wonders for these older stories). I’m gonna go ahead and give the disclaimer that because I was following a speedy reading guide, I missed a lot of stuff, so if you know some really good issues I missed feel free to say so.

I’m afraid to type all this out because it’s a lot and idk where to start!

Okay well I have one idea of where to start.

Fantastic Four

This is Marvel’s best series up to this point and the fact that we’ve had so many garbage movies is a tragedy (don’t @ me about The Incredibles, I know). The FF comics are consistently the most fun, the weirdest, and the most creative.

Going through my reading list, I had to skip parts of FF, which is probably going to be where more of the good stuff was. Though, I will say that I prefer the latter half of the decade over the first half. FF started off with Mole Man, Skrulls (something I first realized was a thing back when they showed up in MvC3), The Puppet Master, The Red Ghost... The first few years of FF was probably best whenever it involved Namor and Doctor Doom. I don’t think anyone’s gonna argue with that. The latter half had The Inhumans, Galactus, The Silver Surfer, Black Panther, the Negative Zone... a whole lot of neat stuff! I actually missed the introduction of the Negative Zone, so all of a sudden Reed’s just got a portal to A Very Bad Place in the middle of his lab and he keeps opening it whenever things get slightly inconvenient. Stop doing that, Reed.

Highlights: - Namor being Namor. Usually at his best as a fish out of water (heh) in human society. With his absurd monarchic pride, and his occasional anti-hero tendencies, he’s...kind of like a wet Vegeta in hot pants. - The Thing. For a while he was back and forth as a character I liked or tolerated, and his incessant backtalk would occasionally become one of those “telling an unfunny joke until eventually it’s hilarious” things. - The Watcher. A being so committed to his vow to never interfere with the fate of the universe that he jack-knifes out of his lane every single time he gets the chance. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME HE WATCHED THE BIRTH OF GALACTUS AND DID NOTHING. THANKS UATU. - The fact that Doctor Doom is a Romani character being written by Jewish authors. That’s a lot to unpack. - The Sandman. Wait, you say, you mean that one Spider-Man villain who was played by the guy from the sitcom Wings? Yeah, it turns out once he’s done being a Sinister Six villain, he goes on to harass the Fantastic Four and gets his own Jack Kirby style super villain outfit!

Look at that badboy. Also he teams up with an angry furry made of explosions from the hell dimension that is the negative zone. - The Inhumans. All of these kids are cool, Lockjaw is an adorable giant bulldog that can teleport across infinite distances, and even Maximus is some sort of play on Shakespeare villains. The fact that differentiating these guys from mutants is really awkward. The short version (if I have it right) is that mutants are born with a unique x-gene, and inhumans come from a hidden society that commonly did genetic manipulation on its citizens at birth. - Galactus. He is arguably the weirdest thing Marvel has in this decade. A thirty foot tall man who flies around the universe and eats planets. He’s literally so powerful that he and the narrative both treat his eating habits as natural, and any victims that happen to get in the way as unfortunate but unintended sacrifices because GALACTUS MUST NOT DIE. Galactus is a vegan metaphor (maybe). - The Silver Surfer. The shiniest, angstiest boy in the multiverse. Originally from a planet where global society had literally hit its logical utopic conclusion, he was bored as shit. Galactus comes along, the entire planet gets spooked and blows itself the fuck up on accident, and Norrin Rad agrees to be Galactus’ herald and pick out planets safe to eat if he leaves his planet alone. Sometime after that he gets punished for trying to fight Galactus, and is punished to remain on Earth, where he would play around with being a very obvious Jesus analogy for a while. - That time where a guy impersonates The Thing in order to kill Reed, and then ends up getting respect for Reed and sacrificing himself atop a meteorite speeding off into an atmosphere of explosions. Really fucked up issue, honestly. - Black Panther. Wakanda is not as cool as it would eventually be portrayed, and BP’s first appearance is as an antagonist (he kidnaps the FF and hunts them for sport), but he has a fucking slick cape. - That time Doctor Doom stole The Silver Surfer’s infinite cosmic power and nearly fucked up everything for everybody for four straight issues. Also he got into a fist fight with the Thing, which is like...hell yeah. - The Negative Zone. WHY DO YOU HAVE A WINDOW TO HELL IN YOUR HOUSE, REED. - The Kree. I have no idea why the Kree are just white people in space. Bad move imo, even Namor’s race are mostly blue people. Anyway, there’s a rad fight with a sentry robot, and a decent introduction to Ronan the Accuser, who you might remember was the (reasonably overshadowed) villain in the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 1 movie, where he is blue. - Psycho Man. This guy has a remote control that makes you feel emotions and that’s kinda dumb but more importantly he’s from a microscopic universe and controls a non-microscopic robot version of himself to fight the FF and the implications of all that is absurd. - Reed goes into the negative zone (again) to try and find something he knows nothing about that might help his pregnant wife and unborn child survive the gamma radiation they still have in their bodies. He gets pretty lucky. Jesus christ, dude.

The worst parts of the FF this decade is probably every time Susan gets the shaft because she’s a woman, whether it’s her being talked down to by Reed or whether it’s her being written as way more concerned about ~lady things~ when things are going to hell. In the issue where her life is on the line and the baby is coming and Reed has to go into the negative zone, she doesn’t even make an appearance until like the last page. Susan deserves better. My reading guide actually didn’t recommend any 1969 issues of FF? I wonder what was going on...

Oh, skrulls impersonating 1920s gangsters and doing super-human trafficking, of course. Well, let’s move on.

The Incredible Hulk (Tales to Astonish)

I have had a soft spot for the Sulk ever since...probably the 2003 three Ang Lee film? Where I realized that 1) Bruce has bad dad issues and no one likes him, and 2) Hulk isn’t just a big boy, he is really fast and jumps crazy far and that’s a physical concept my teenage brain had never considered. I hadn’t even considered liking the Hulk growing up because I was so uncomfortable with almost all expressions of masculinity and machismo. My mom in fact was the one who told me “Don’t you want to see the Hulk? He’s big and scary like a bad guy, but he’s a good guy!” and I assume that’s what helped change my mind?

Anyway, Hulk has had a rough time in terms of popularity as well. His magazine lasted some six or seven issues before being canceled and his stories would continue, shorter, in Tales to Astonish, alongside Ant-Man (and eventually Namor’s own series). In the last few years of the decade he’d get a new magazine starting with The Incredible Hulk #102 (following Tales to Astonish #101... comic numbering is extremely bad), and...it’s okay so far! In the modern era, Hulk had a cartoon I never watched, a few nonstarter films, there was that series with Lou Ferrigno I know nothing about... He seems to always function best as a side hero. It doesn’t help that all the villains in his series are, like. Weird? Not like FF crazy weird, just like weird and not seemingly a great match for Hulk himself. Most of the ones that come to mind are dudes who are also mutated by gamma radiation or something else (and sometimes also green? why is the green supposed to be a common thread, that feels coincidental).

Which reminds me, Bruce is almost never present in what I’ve read so far. It’s just Hulk, usually talking way more than feels natural for him (it took a while for him to start speaking mostly in the third person). As a result, Hulk is usually given a very limited range of characterization and expected to coast on that, and it doesn’t often work. You have to put Hulk in casts and settings that complement him. For a while there he has a support character in Rick Jones, a (very uninteresting) teen boy who eventually can’t keep up with the increasingly antagonistic Hulk, bounces over to Captain America as a ward, eventually is confused by a cosmic cube-wielding, Cap-impersonating Red Skull, and fucks off on his own. He is immediately possessed by, and becomes a host for, Mar-Vell/Captain Marvel. I do not give a single fuck about Rick Jones.

In the earliest issues, the Hulk is gray, and also...just a non-furry werewolf. HE changes at night, until issue #102 retconned this.

Highlights: - That first issue has some really nice panels but I’m gonna say that’s all Jack Kirby’s doing. - Ends up harassing the FF, Spider-Man, the Avengers (after being one of them and then getting buttmad and running off), the Silver Surfer, the US military (regularly)... - Hulk goes to the far dystopic future?? He gets back I guess. - Hulk goes to Asgard! This is arguably the most interesting place to put him because all Odin’s warriors try to fight him and then decide lol this guy’s cool let’s go hang out. Meanwhile, Loki keeps fucking with him. But then the Enchantress and the Executioner become the villains and things get kinda boring again. - The Leader (that’s actually the name of a villain) makes a big robot and Hulk throws it into a volcano and then activates said volcano with his FISTS to fuck it up. Then he manually diverts a nuclear missile into the atmosphere after suddenly caring about people even though he has no reason to. Shrug! - Hulk goes to Attilan, the hidden nation of the Inhumans! There’s potential for interesting stuff here, but it’s mostly wasted by a full cast of extremely uninteresting one-off characters. This is all in a double length annual issue with a gorgeous cover by Jim Steranko, but the issue itself is drawn by Marie Severin. She does good stuff! But Steranko’s work is gorgeous.

Whatever!

The Mighty Thor (Journey into Mystery)

Thor’s winged helmet is really dumb, goodnight everybody!

Okay but yeah Thor started out in the Journey into Mystery magazine, and I guess I’d describe his stuff as... Dungeons and Dragons by Marvel? I struggle with it aesthetically but I like some of the ideas. Mjolnir is fucking cool, Asgard is both a real place and an planet (a flat one, even?), fucking Olympus is also a place and Hercules exists, Loki is... well, Loki hasn’t come into his own yet, but we’ll get there one day. On the other hand, some of the villains are dull as dishwater and a number of the good guys took their time getting interesting. Clearly there was some appeal, because he did eventually get his own magazine starting with Thor #126, I think? There’s that bad numbering again.

A big weird problem with Thor is that originally he has a secret identity. Like. Donald Blake is a surgeon who needs to use a cane to walk, and he goes hiking by himself and gets lost I guess and finds a stick and it turns out oops it’s Mjolnir and he becomes Thor! And Thor is not just a new identity, but also a person that is both the Thor of Norse myth, and the actual son of Odin up in Asgard and has been so forever and aaaaaaa

Donald Blake is not super important. He mostly exists to give Thor a weakness in that he can’t let go of his hammer for 60 seconds or he’ll turn back into a guy with a PhD. Eventually, in the latter half of the 60s, they add on to his backstory in a way I like, by saying “oh no no, he was always Thor. At one point Odin punished him by sending him to Earth with amnesia and in the guise of a handicapped guy getting through medical school. For some reason.” Which really only makes his dual identities more confusing, and I actually dig that. The MCU does not fuck with this at all, and I’m assuming the comics throw it out in the decades to come. Also, this semi-retcon was not included in the reading guide, I found it on accident. Anyway.

Highlights: - Thor joins the Avengers! I mean, duh, of course he does. He eventually leaves because he’s too popular and needs his own series or something. He occasionally pops back in to do cool stuff. - Thor accidentally ends up on Olympus and gets into a big sweaty fight with Hercules. They decide they are pals. This was an annual issue. - Thor goes into space! This is where things get good, and I really like Thor’s archaic ass as a cosmic sci-fi hero. Great juxtaposition. - Thor meets/fights Ego, the Living Planet! Okay, I said Galactus was the weirdest thing, and I was wrong. Ego is. Ego is almost as described on the tin, because he is actually described as an entire “bioverse”, and capable of changing the entirety of his physical makeup at any time. It is intensely cool. He’s also kind of evil and wants to spread out to control everywhere. Also, Thor makes friends with a nice recording robot and becomes an ally of robot rights. - Thor dies! A guy with a giant crowbar is accidentally given asgardian power by Loki, and then kills Thor because Thor has lost his power because Odin is punishing him again. And then Hela shows up as the goddess of death and says hey Thor. And he says hold on I got this and gets back in his body and saves the day and it’s fine. Hela does what she does best, stand there and look cool and do nothing else.

god she’s hot

- Thor rescues Ego from Galactus? Kind of on accident, he’s just trying to save the people inbetween who got their planets ate. Actually though, this arc fucking kicks, and he hangs out with the recorder bot too. In the end, Ego is grateful and lets the planetless nomads live on him. - Thor hangs out with Galactus and listens to his tragic backstory! Then Thor decides he’s gonna hit him anyway, and Odin decides “that’s enough for this story arc” and whisks Thor off to fight a robot instead. - Volstagg. - Volstagg.

- VOLSTAGG.

- Thor’s dudes go to the human world and there are shenanigans. It is good.

The Amazing Spider-Man

We all knew this was coming. Marvel’s own Pikachu. Possibly the most popular superhero alive (well, second to Batman anyway). And probably the hero I cared about the most growing up. We got associated a lot because we share a name. Spidey is probably the coolest idea for a superhero anyone has ever had, and they better CGI gets, the better his fights look. I do not care how many QTEs are gonna be in that new videogame, I wanna look at Spidey swing. Spider-man is just cool cool cool cool.

Early Spider-Man comics are fucking boring! Goodnight everybody!

Okay just kidding sort of. Spider-Man takes a while to pick up, in my opinion, and I’m 100% positive part of that is because I’ve seen these early stories retold in better and better definition so many times. I watched the cartoon as a kid, but the Sam Raimi movies are probably what comes to mind when I think of Spider-Man. Steve Ditko nailed a fucking iconic costume design, and did a great job of visually communicating Spidey’s agility on paper. But, in the earliest issues there was rarely any variation in panel size and shape, and action scenes were laid out like diagrams. Both those factors, along with the fact that each panel had dialogue because Peter kind of never shuts up, meant that pacing slowed to a crawl, and I had to chew through those issues. Also sometimes he just fought, like, mobsters with lassos. Jesus christ that’s boring. As the decade goes on, we start getting some good stuff, and to be completely honest, I’m looking forward to the weird dumb 90s stuff the most?

Highlights: - Peter has a persecution complex and uses his secret identity to be an asshole! Even after Peter’s iconic and still very well written origin story, he spends a lot of time harassing people, good and bad. He regularly breaks into JJ’s office in costume and makes fun of him, he crashes the Torch’s party to beat him up and flirt with his girlfriend, he breaks into the Baxter building to fight the FF in hopes they’ll recruit him with pay, he...gets into an argument with black students who are very passionate about affordable housing? He wasn’t even in costume for that one. Jesus, Peter, go to a therapist. - Nobody likes Spider-Man! Kind of makes sense why he’s got those personality issues, though those start with jocks calling him a nerd (he’s a nerd). Half the city doesn’t trust him, he works for a newspaper that is dedicated to anti-Spidey propaganda (Peter, you’re partially at fault for this), even the X-Men just assume he’s a bad guy, and that’s usually a problem they have to deal with. - Really appropriate villains! Wow! The Vulture matches his high up action, Doc Ock is both another victim of weird science and an intellectual rival. Also, like, their namesakes have a lot of legs. The Lizard is...Florida Man. Maybe the better argument is that many of these villains are memorable, in a decade that featured a concerning amount of “large humanoid monster/robot” baddies in all of the running series. - Like the Green Goblin. Who knew that would be Spider-Man’s Joker? Maybe that’s a bad comparison. Also bats and clowns aren’t usually connected with each other. Where was I going with this. - Spider-Man tries to quit the superhero gig twice, I think? He’s the only Marvel hero to consider this, as far as I know. Part of Peter’s appeal is that not only is he a young adult, unlike the rest of Marvel’s adult cast, but he’s also financially disadvantaged, has a non-nuclear model family, and has to look out for his often ailing Aunt. He has to work a side job while going to school while fighting bad guys, and it’s a lot more interesting than what Tony Stark’s doing up to this point. This has all been said so many times by so many people, but it’s an obligatory mention. - Peter donates blood to Aunt May at one point and accidentally gets a radioactive particle in her body. OOPS. Spider-Man goes on a rampage to find an antidote and tears a metal stairwell off its hinges. He also, like, completely destroys a villain’s underwater base and nearly doesn’t get out himself. - The Green Goblin discovers Peter is Spider-Man! Most of the Marvel heroes have this anxiety, but it never ends up a problem, so this is pretty big. The Goblin kidnaps him in broad daylight, ties him to a chair in a secluded place, and infodumps his origin story that he’s actually the father of Peter’s college roommate and is kind of very unhinged and obsessed with Spider-Man? In the end, Gobby gets amnesia and forgets the whole supervillain and mental illness thing and turns back into a good dad. - Spidey goes to the Casbah! Yeah, go figure. He learns his parents were traitors to America, and it fucks him up so much he flies there to find the truth. He ends up exploding the Red Skull and learns his parents were actually double double agents and were spying for America and so things are a-okay!

also peter kills a dude with a missile

- That aforementioned thing about affordable housing happens! Some black college students are unhappy that the university is taking old dorms that could be used as low rent housing for students and instead giving it to visiting alumni, and start a big protest and the narrative actually pins them as sympathetic even when they get overzealous and physical? I’m...kind of surprised, to be honest. Not used to seeing this at all.

Ant-Man, and...other identities. (Tales to Astonish)

ima keep it real with u founding member of the avengers hank pym, this will not improve marvel’s declining sales

This guy is a goddamn mess.

People like to say “pfffft there’s an ant-man? that’s goofy! that’s the weirdest thing ever! that’s a bad idea!” and buddy let me tell you, Hank Pym has a career specializing in bad ideas. Let’s list them!

- Adopt a young woman while she is grieving over the loss of her father and take her in as both a crime-fighting ward (The Wasp!) and also a love interest. Feel bad about it for about five minutes so it’s okay. - Develop a “growth capsule” that allows you to turn huge and decide to adopt two super hero identities, Ant-Man and Giant-Man. Assume this will not confuse anyone. - Eventually do weird science to make it so you can grow and shrink at will. Assume this will not have negative repercussions on your body. - Change the name Giant-Man to Goliath because you feel like Giant-Man is a dumb name. Confuse everyone for multiple issues. - Get stuck as a twelve-foot tall 90s beverage mascot lookin ass motherfucker (you are terrible at costume design, hank) and get real mad at everyone all the time about it. - Create an evil robot called Ultron and forget about it. Oops! Surely this will be fine.

IT’LL BE FINE

- Fail to relate to your robot-grandson-turned-avenger The Vision. Be a bad grandpa. - Inhale chemicals and get all fucked up on temporary schizophrenia (???), adopting a second personality. Call yourself Yellowjacket, claim to have killed Hank, and kidnap your girlfriend and force her to make out with you. - When assaulting your girlfriend makes her, uh, somehow realize that you are Hank, she will rope you into marrying her, thereby...uh...legally cuckolding yourself I guess? Realize you are Hank during/after the wedding, and be perfectly fine with this egregious violation of consent. Nothing about this will have lasting negative consequences. - Adopt the identity of Yellowjacket, and abandon Goliath. Continue to confuse people. On the bright side, finally have a nice costume. - Make a new Goliath costume in celebration of refusing to ever be Goliath again (WHY), and store it and a beaker of growth serum (WHY) in an unlocked locker out in the open (WHY). Hawkeye will steal it and become the new Goliath II.

So far that’s everything about Hank-Man! Stay tuned to see more of this trainwreck.

Iron Man (Tales of Suspense)

YO THIS DUDE SUCKS

I really like Iron Man’s origin story and his overall concept but the tech culture would not advance far enough to match it for a while. Also this was in the era of the Vietnam War and so Tony’s greatest enemy is The Mandarin, an extremely awkward asian stereotype and I! Ain’t! Got! Time! For! That!

Avengers

The Avengers are, at their most interesting, characters already in their own magazines. At their worst, they’re a bunch of characters no one cares about, fighting villains no one cares about, with last second ass-pull victories. There was a brief period there were I suspected the Avengers magazine was going to be true gristle of Marvel I was gonna have to chew on for hours to get through. Thankfully we are eventually given Marvel’s goodest boy, Vision. After that, things start to pick up a lot.

bless him and his little intangible heart

Highlights: - Captain America is found frozen in an ice cube! He’s been in cryo for twenty years, wow how the world has changed. I guess. Another case of time passing eventually making an origin story better. At this point Marvel has revived three 1940s comics properties: Cap, Namor, and the Human Torch (the lattermost in this case being an entirely different person). - Kang the Conqueror! Kang is a hell of a villain concept. He’s a time traveler who once ruled ancient Egypt as a pharaoh named Rama Tut and, uh, will eventually rule over Earth in the 41st century. He keeps harassing the 20th century for some reason. Also he is hint hint maybe related to Doctor Doom, I guess. - Hawkeye joins, having previously been a one-off villain, and proceeds to be an asshole to everyone forever. Eventually he becomes Goliath II because why not I guess. - Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver join, having recently bailed on Magneto’s Brotherhood, and they are...kinda boring, tbh. Wanda’s “hex power” isn’t very well defined (it makes unlucky things happen), and neither of them have much personality yet. At one point they fight Doctor Doom and he uses a machine to cancel out the hex power (???) and outpaces Quicksilver without using any enhancements (???). Some of these issues really blow. Quicksilver’s costume is lazy as hell. - Hercules joins for some reason, even though he says he doesn’t wanna be part of a team.  - Magneto does some sneaky bullshit and tricks Quicksilver into thinking someone at the UN shoots at Wanda on purpose. Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch join Magneto again because fuck normies. - The Avengers are killed (sort of) by the Grim Reaper! Their newest member, the Black Panther, rescues them.

Pick a color you trilobite.

- The Vision joins, Ultron-5 is introduced, and things finally settle in for the good stuff. - Ultron rebuilds himself in adamantium as Ultron-6 and replaces his legs with a rocket chariot thing. No one is brave enough to tell him it looks dumb.

no shut up its cool and i can fit still fit through doorways

immediately the next chapter he re-rebuilds himself with legs and calls himself Ultimate Ultron. mmmhm.

sounds like somebody was havin some self esteem issues about their body. sounds like a talk that ultron and their dad hank pym could probably relate to each other over.

- The decade ends with an arc where Kang abducts the Avengers and ends up himself wrapped up in a proxy wargame with the Grandmaster. Kang uses the Avengers as his pawns, and the GM creates four superhumans that he totally didn’t get from DC no sir. Perfectly original characters, do not steal.

I just...I just really feel like that last one could have used a few more minutes in the boardroom.

- Even better, the second half of the arc pits the avengers against Captain America, Namor, and the Human Torch...in their 1940s renditions!

Hank even comments on the fact that Namor’s diction is different. It’s great.

The Uncanny X-Men

So I grew up in the 90s, and despite never really engaging with comics, I was quite aware that Marvel’s hottest shit at the time was Spider-Man and X-Men. The X-Men had a slow start, but once they caught on, they never really dropped off. Actually, I think they might be less popular now? They’re at least not the ever-present icons they used to be, and I suspect that is partially to do with middling-quality movies diluting the brand.

But, the appeal is there from the start. Children born unique but feared by society are adopted by Patrick Stewart and spirited away to a special boarding school that is secretly dedicated to teaching them to use their powers for the sake of fighting evil. This was the proto-Harry Potter, though Snape’s gonna win no contests against Wolverine.

Unfortunately, we don’t have Wolverine, yet. We’ve got...these guys!

(Not pictured: Marvel Girl/Jean Grey)

The creative potential in mutant design has not quite picked up yet, so the main team (of five teens and an old man) includes such marvels as Guy With Wings, and Guy What Got Big Feet. Seriously, Beast’s feet get way too much attention.

I cannot wait until you are a blue cat instead of this.

I wish I could comment on the political commentary on the series, but it hasn’t quite started up yet, whether that is intentional or not. The rampant fear of mutants is there, we’ve even had a Sentinels arc, but it’s mostly just surface stuff. I had a lot to say about Spider-Man, so I feel kind of silly coming up short here!

Highlights: - Magneto. Despite the slow start this series is going through, Magneto is immediately introduced and has his wonderful costume design and his super threatening magnetism powers. I am a bit confused as to how his magnetism affects all things, not just metal, but magnets are an irl mystery and I’m willing to let it slide. - The Juggernaut. The two-issue arc introducing Juggz himself are effectively told, if not sliiightly silly in structure. The first issue has the X-Men building up defenses because he’s coming, and later, as he tears through each single one, unseen to both the kids and the reader, Xavier explains his and the Juggernaut’s tumultuous childhood together. It builds the tension really well, but it’s a bit funny by the fourth time the X-Men are saying “we gotta go meet him before he breaks in here where we are!” and Xavier’s like “I’M NOT DONE TELLING MY ORIGIN STORY.” - The Sentinels. This is probably the last interesting arc in the 60s, published as early as ‘65. It’s almost the last material in the reading guide, next to an issue where they all get into a fight with Spider-Man for no reason. If I understand correctly, the Sentinels are later depicted as humongous robots, where here they’re closer to ten feet tall or so. I’d always thought the idea of “a bunch of mass produced robots designed to kill mutants” seemed uncreative growing up, especially given that they don’t, like, have an x-gene suppressing ray or anything, but it works well enough in the moment. - Wholly unnecessary amounts of sexual harassment towards Jean Grey. All the boys have the hots for her (well, maybe not Iceman (pun not intended)), including even Xavier saying that she’s attractive when she first arrives. What the fuck, dudes.

X-MANS IS CANCELED

Doctor Strange (Strange Tales)

The reading guide included a ton of Strange Tales to read, including an 11-issue arc at one point. Good grief it was a lot.

Steve Ditko, of early Spider-Man, did the art for Strange for a good while, and I found that contrast between the diagram like action of Spider-Man, and the much more fantastic illustrations of Strange to be the most interesting thing. Eventually Marie Severin would take over as the penciller, and it would take a bit of time to adjust, but the more abstract it got, the better. Also, I don’t really like the footie pajamas Severin draws him in.

This is Steve Ditko. He has thin lines and exact shapes and while you don’t see it here, his magic fights are very clear and easy to follow.

This is Marie Severin. In comparison her lines are thick and smudged (well, okay, we have to give credit to the inkers for these as well, though I think she did her own inking?), but is capable of uniquely evocative images like this. Her action scenes are harder to follow, but she is equally capable of the kind of surreality that appears in Doctor Strange’s comics.

Also, while the topic has been touched on a lot, especially around the time the movie came out, it still bears repeating that Doctor Strange is built on a foundation of cultural appropriation and mystic eastern boogie woogie nonsense. I’m parroting the words of people that know this much better than me, but it’s a problematic and somewhat common trope that media will depict a white protagonist in a foreign setting who not just excels but surpasses everyone else, particularly peers who are native to the setting. At best it’s well-meaning and oblivious, at worst it perpetuates a narrow worldview where everything has to revolve around white people.

Anyway, when the comics focus more on the dread dark dimension of Dormammu, most of these problems aren’t around, and you get lots of fun and bizarre imagery and goofy spell casting.

Highlights: - Dormammu. He’s a prideful otherworldy being who refuses to be caught explicitly going back on his word when beaten at a game of skill, but easily breaks down and claws at loopholes with which he can attempt his petty revenge against Strange. He is also portrayed as a necessary evil, in that he uses his power to erect a barrier that keeps his servants safe from mindless laser-eye cyclops monsters that are just perpetually punching each other. That conflict makes for complicated situations where usurping him may be more harm than help. Also his head is always on fire, and that’s cool. - Trippy visuals. Ditko’s backgrounds lean closer to pop art with abstract shapes, bright colors, and twisting pathways. Severin’s art, if I can remember (there hasn’t been a lot yet) leans closer to mysterious and somewhat vague settings. I’m describing it very poorly.

That’s kind of it for Strange, I guess!

Daredevil

oh my god how many of these have I done now im so tired

I haven’t read much Daredevil yet! The reading guide has given me some seven issues so far out of the full decade, and while there has been some good stuff, I don’t know if I can draw a big mental picture.

DD is, theoretically, in that same category as Captain America, where rather than being a super powerful character, he is merely very very good at what he has. DD got hit in the face with a radioactive dildo or something and it blinded him but enhanced his other senses so intensely that if you sneeze he can tell what brand of nasal spray you use. Also, he’s super acrobatic and has a swiss army walking cane that he can use to do just about anything. And he’s a working attorney. Fuck you and your eyeballs, Batman.

Marvel has not begun to embrace noir, and as I understand it, that seems to be the genre most people know DD for aligning with. As a result, things are kinda silly! DD’s first outfit was yellow and he fought a man who had robot stilts in broad daylight.

Highlights: - Killgrave, the...Purple Man.

I can’t believe this is how Jessica Jones starts.

Uhh, Killgrave got some pheromones or something embedded in his skin on accident and now everyone just does what he says to no matter what. He’s purple now, too. This has not been taken to its terrifying possibilities yet, but I’m very excited to see where it goes. - Daredevil fights Namor. Okay, seriously? Seriously? This is my favorite issue, no joke. Namor busts out of the ocean demanding a lawyer (Matt himself) so he can sue the human race. Shenanigans ensue, and a trial is attempted, but ultimately falls apart when Namor decides “you know what? fuck this I’m gonna start breakin shit”. Matt changes into the DD costume and takes on Namor with everything he can think of, including construction equipment, but fails.

Out of respect, Namor leaves.

- Stilt-Man.

Stilt-Man. (Stilt-Man eventually shrinks into a quantum state that he remains trapped in for months until he suddenly isn’t.)

- And finally, Mike Murdock. In an attempt to ward off suspicion that he might be Daredevil, Matt...pretends to be his twin brother who is never in the same room at the same time as him. As Mike, he is a cocky jerk to everyone and insists that he is Daredevil. And people believe him.

As you would expect (for once), this nearly gets people killed.

Nick Fury (Strange Tales, Agent of Shield)

NICK FURY IS THE BEST GOD DAMN SONNUVA BITCH IN THE WHOLE MARVEL LINE UP

Nick Fury is like if you took James Bond and made it not suck. You get to keep all the gadgets and world traveling but swap out the “ooh, I’m so cool and serious” with kicking open doors and telling fascists to go fuck themselves. Most importantly, it’s a near-parody of the overwrought machismo that the series runs on. It’s so busy getting from point A to point B in as fun a way as possible that it’s impossible to take seriously.

Actually, it might be like if Battle Tendency was less sympathetic to real world fascists. Which is to say, it’s the pinnacle of evolution.

Look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t a JJBA action scene. (Also, Jim Steranko blessed us with a shirtless Fury in latex pants.)

A highlights list would be ridiculously long because I love these comics, so I’ll instead focus on one thing in particular.

- Jim Steranko’s art is gorgeous

Yes, these are all Nick Fury title pages.

Captain America (Tales of Suspense)

Steve is just now starting to get interesting, mostly through his own series, but he’s had plenty of time for notable moments throughout his screentime (pagetime?) in Tales of Suspense and Avengers. While talking about Daredevil I mentioned Captain America and how he’s less of a nigh-supernatural being like most heroes, and more of a particularly exceptional human. He hits really hard, but more impressive is his stamina and agility. Something that I’ve liked in the MCU is how they’ve portrayed him as always capable of what is just one step beyond what people think is possible of him. He can’t fly, but he’ll do as many impossible leaps as necessary. He’s not super strong (well, not to the degree of Spider-Man), but he sure can run for miles, and he knows his way around that shield.

I feel like a lot of what I’m writing is surface level readings of these comics, but the characteristics of Steve that really identify him haven’t quite shown themselves yet, I think. When I think of him, what always comes to mind is that his “american good boy” values take priority over allegiances, and so you’ll see Captain America himself abandon his title if America no longer represents the values of protecting the weak. Steve Rogers is kind of a perfect flawless human (when not written terribly), but that’s pretty okay at the end of the day, when a superhero is more of an icon than a person.

Highlights: - That time the Red Skull got the Cosmic Cube (not the Tesseract), and became a god for like five minutes.

- That time Cap fought a giant baby.

- That time Cap pretended to be dead and then stopped Hydra from burying all the avengers alive even Vision who would...be able to just phase out of the grave. I’m not really sure what the plan there was. - That other time the Red Skull got the cosmic cube and then switched bodies with Cap and they made a lot of facial expressions.

- That time Rick Jones thought Captain America didn’t like him, meanwhile Cap was stranded on a desert island and hanging out with The Falcon and it was cool. Nobody cares about Rick Jones.

Namor, The Sub-Mariner (Tales to Astonish)

I didn’t read a fuck shit about this dude! Sorry!

Captain Marvel

we’re so close to being done

The reading guide gave me nearly nothing on this dude. Issues #1-3 and then #17. He’s a Kree (whoa!) named Mar-Vell (lol) who should be helping to fuck up Earth but ends up liking it and chooses to defend it. He’s got a jet pack and a laser and a really shit costume and he’s NOT BLUE.

Marvy, I need you to move over, the more interesting hero is behind you.

He’s got an asshole commanding officer who keeps trying to get him killed because he wants to fuck his girlfriend and SNORE, I do not care. Come on dude. I have been psyched to learn about 

At some point in-between chapters #3 and #17, and...shit, I’ll just quote wikipedia for this:

After aiding humanity several times, Mar-Vell is found guilty of treason against the Kree Empire and sentenced to death by firing squad. Mar-Vell escapes in a stolen rocket, but becomes lost in space. After drifting for 112 days, he is weak and on the verge of madness. He is manipulated by Ronan the Accuser and Kree Minister Zarek into helping them overthrow the Supreme Intelligence. To better help them, Mar-Vell is given a new costume and enhanced abilities. After the conspiracy is foiled, Mar-Vell tries to return to Earth. On the way, he is hit by a blast of radiation that traps him in the Negative Zone.[16]

The Supreme Intelligence enables Mar-Vell to telepathically contact Rick Jones, which he uses to lead Jones to a set of "nega-bands" at an abandoned Kree base. When Jones puts on the bands and strikes them together, he trades places with Mar-Vell and is encased in a protective aura in the Negative Zone. The pair discover they are able to maintain telepathic contact. Using this method, Mar-Vell can remain in the positive universe for a period of three hours.

well what the fuck that might have been worth reading, thanks reading guide

Anyway, so yeah, Rick Jones! Both of these characters were pretty boring, and mayyybe this will help the both of them. Or not. At least the new costume is cool.

Silver Surfer

IT’S THE LAST ONE THANK GOD

Once again, I don’t have much to say here! I wrote all my thoughts on the surfer up in the Fantastic Four section, so you can read that if you haven’t. The reading guide only gave me three issues to read, though they were quite good. The first was his origin story, which I already wrote about above. The second one was about invisible aliens that manipulated the surfer and people’s distrust of him (part of this is because he keeps occasionally attacking humans because he thinks it’ll make them be nicer to each other). And in the third issue, Mephisto kidnaps his long lost girlfriend from his home planet. It works out kind of badly for everyone involved.

begone, thought

And that’s everything for the 60s. Phew! This took a long time and I don’t know if it was worth it. Let me know if you read it, if you enjoyed it, if you pity me, whatever. I got more comics to read.

[yoolee]

If lee wrote otome | #2 - Boss

The Heroine (MC)

CEO MC: Never gets enough sleep, which makes her sarcastic but is also semi her own fault given the amount of caffeine she consumes. Sort of obsessive about long-term planning, unwaveringly believes that a company’s value comes from its employees and will choose them over shareholder dividends every time. Determined to run an ethical company even if it means it’s not the most profitable company. Super duper Type A – aggressive and fearless because she has to be. Sometimes really just wants a cupcake in her hand and a cat in her lap, but then she’s bored and goes back to business planning. Creative risk-taker, decent negotiator. Smart enough to know where she needs help and hire people who can do the things she can’t (or, more to the point, doesn’t want to do). Gets back up every time. Will definitely fight you. Might feel bad about it later but only if someone reminds her it happened.

Love Interests

The BARISTA: Peppy, optimist (or so MC thinks) but it turns out they actually switch up their personality depending on who they’re serving (sometimes they are the chill, hipster philosopher, sometimes they are the rude New York get-it-done eye roller, etc.) actually somewhere in the middle of it all – but really IS an optimist despite themselves. Kind of slippery and hard to pin down. Big family, used to being what their other siblings/parents need from them. Fairly certain CEO MC is headed for an early heart attack with the amount of espresso she imbibes. Probably an author. Maybe an ex-broadway personjust because. IDK.

The PR LAWYER: Worked-three-jobs-put-self-through-college story. Patience, tact, good at calming people down. Detail oriented, a little fussy about appearances. Perennially exasperated by CEO (Please don’t promise to have a cure for cancer In the next three years with no data to back it up. No, you can’t punch the reporter for being a dick. Look, I know you WANT to donate 100% of proceeds to charity but please pick a friendlier one than ‘punch reporters in the face foundation’ that’s not gonna fly) never gets enough sleep. Has a key to MC’s house so they can come yell at her for making their life difficult at whatever hour of the night she insists on doing so. Is on MC’s speed-dial, which means they also get called to DD, though they’d rather not.

FLAKY MODEL(s?): Trust fund kid? Pretty face? Floats through life? The sort of person who will get on the wrong subway train and then just ride it all day people-watching never mind that they had an appointment six hours ago. Pose with a boa constrictor? Sure, as long as it’s being treated humanely. Tarantula on the face? Awwww, it’s fuzzyyyyy. No filter, no worries. Probably drags CEO MC along on a Caribbean shoot and PR Lawyer has to call and yell because that does not look good, okay? And poor MC is like, I thought we were getting a drink and model is like WE ARE we are getting tropical coconut water from the SOURCE here oh wait I don’t know how to drink out of a coconut…who knows why they are attracted to CEO MC, probably because she’s there and sticks around and no one else does. Human puppy dog.

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD: young hotshot venture capitalist, thinks CEO MC is a bleeding heart (your employees do not need that many sick days, lost productivity blah blah blah why do we need a daycare onsite that’s a waste of shareholder money), kind of a math whiz, naturally lucky, doesn’t get along with family (gambling problem in the fam – which manifests in him in investment risks and unresolved issues) butts heads constantly with MC, frequently tries to get her fired – in part because his attempts to do so get her fired up and she does great things, which ultimately is better for the company than when she’s just doing her normal ‘good’ job. She is going to be royally ticked when she figures that out. Manipulative, but relatively benign under it all. The sort of person who smirks instead of smiles. All the time.

CHEF FROM HER FAVORITE RESTAURANT: Also a CEO though on smaller scale, because, running a restaurant IS running a business. Probably under the impression CEO MC is actually like, a graduate student with no money because she tends to get takeout at weird hours. Gruff, grumpy, abrupt, but heart of gold. Basically—will grumble about you coming in late but will add extra veggies to your pasta because you’re looking a little pale and need the nutrients and if you call them on it will snarl that they had to be used up they were going bad and he wasn’t going to waste extra, expensive, PROTEIN on you. (MC asks them out and then realizes the only nice restaurant she knows is the one the chef owns)

PRESCHOOL TEACHER: JUST A DECENTLY NICE PERSON. Checks in to make sure MC has eaten regularly, staying hydrated, needs anything fixed around the house (she can do her own plumbing but doesn’t like the electrical and hey it’s nice to have company). Good with kids. Maybe divorced and wanted them but ex-spouse didn’t? idk. Calm, not easily ruffled, sweet as pie, except when he’s playing video games and suddenly MC understands how he can get through the day without any aggression – he unleashes it on fictional zombies. Blissfully normal, all things considered.

PERSONAL TRAINER: “fine, whatever, EAT THE DANG CHEESE if you’re just going to ignore my nutritional advice we’re doing ten more reps” athletic, happiest when DOING versus saying or reading or sitting. Not as impulsive as you’d guess at first glance, because they tend to use working out as a meditative time to make decisions. Didn’t finish college because they realized they just didn’t enjoy it, but they did enjoy working with student athletes, which is how they got into training. Enviably fit. Wants to expand the gym so wheedles business advice out of MC in exchange for not harassing her about her tendency to drink coffee instead of water (she insists it has water IN it, it should count) not particularly intimidated by her, which is a pleasant change of pace.

Supporting Cast (non LIs)

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT: Keeps MC sane, has her back, schedules everything. Good at details, even better at smiling at angry people and making them not-angry through sheer force of sunny personality (actually a ruse, MC is convinced she’s actually the most delightfully evil person ever, but like some kind of fairy tale where when you acknowledge the thing it goes away, refuses to ever dive into figuring out). Older than the MC because we need to stop making middle aged women invisible in stories?? Sometimes has to remind MC of how much she does by holding silent protests (in part why MC thinks she is secretly a supervillain in the making) which are always, always successful.

PARENT COMPANY ADMIN ASSISTANT: Bane of MC’s existence. Smarmy, smily pain in the tush.

CFO: We have put in an official request with the company credit card management to start declining purchases at that coffee shop you go to, no this is not negotiable, it’s not in the budget anymore drink so darn water woman. Completely willing to go toe-to-toe with MC, meetings often involve a lot of yelling, but they’re always productive and no hard feelings.

CIO: Serpent-y, but not in a bad way. Just a very cool-tempered person, very contained, very guarded, very introverted. Never happy when she has to do presentations, so super willing to share knowledge with MC so she does it instead (she is not a great teacher, kind of judgey and shows her frustration when MC doesn’t ‘get’ it right away, but very brilliant, and there’s no malice in the judgement, just no filter). Extremely logic-oriented and process-oriented over people-oriented. Picks up and assess tech very quickly, and good at finding affordable, fast solutions.

RANDOM MARKETING EMPLOYEE:  Set up to be a villain but is actually like gung-ho on MC’s side. Literally an ex pageant queen, went to college on scholarship from it. Out of the workforce for awhile as a stay at home mom when her kids were young, but picks up the new trends fast. Now a single mother, so will literally fight the chairman if he tries to take away the company daycare. Some days uses the ‘people see a pretty face and assume no brain’ to her advantage, some days it wears her out. Unofficially drinking buddy with MC, even though they both feel weird about it given the fact MC is technically boss’s boss’s boss.

BARTENDER: also an ex-girlfriend maybe? Current best friend? Who she turns to when the barista cuts her off from coffee and the chef’s restaurant is already closed. Sharp-tongued, bristly, generally disgusted with MC’s six inch heels and slacks in her leather-jacket, cigar smoke bar. Like lady, you’re lost. Probably on the mob payroll at some point in her life.

ROUTE PLOTS:

(Chairman route?) MERGER – company has just bought another company, which is a major risk move for CEO (can only be one, so do you keep the old one on as a VP? Do you let them go? Will they be bitter/try to sabotage you?) you have to fend off internal sabotage, get everything running smoothly without either company falling apart in the process.  

(PR Lawyer route?) Parent company did something massively shady and it’s tainting your company’s name too, so you have to scrounge to avoid having to fire half your employees and keep the company alive.

(Model route?) New product launch – hence why models are entering the picture. It’s a new business venture in the sense it’s targeted at a completely new audience your company hasn’t catered to before.

(Personal Trainer route?) Company is in its infancy, hugely risky time, and you’re doing everything you can to ensure it’s a success  (maybe including putting your own salary back into it, which means you can’t afford PT so they agree to work with you as long as you give them business advice)

FROM @han-pan- they keep trying to buy new retail space for the gym and MC keeps buying it instead because it’s SUCH GOOD PROPERTY and they sort of exasperatedly are like ugh fine whatever you owe me since you keep swiping prime spots out from under my nose

See the rest here

[gldngrl7]

Snippet of my next story

Since a nonnie asked so nicely, I’ve decided to post a snippet of the next HOLG story, of which I am so close to completing.  If only I could find the motivation to write during the limited time I have available these days.

Title:  Into the Fray, Unflinching

Rating:  XXXXXXXX (not this snippet though. this is snippet is a lite PG)

Hope you enjoy!

Watching the workers for a few more minutes, Kara wonders if she’ll be able to put Mon-El back together as easily as the DEO is put back to rights.  What will she find in his eyes when he wakes at last?  Relief?  Distrust? Disappointment?  Will he still be so emotionally giving, or will he hold himself back from her?

 “They’re waiting for you in the lab,” Alex reminds her.

 “Right,” Kara replies, absentmindedly, before shoving away from the balcony railing and heading towards the lab.

 The moment she walks into the lab it’s like being swarmed by puppies who’ve been anxiously awaiting her return from a long vacation.  Winn Schott and Cisco Ramon could not possibly look different.  Winn, with his close-cropped, dirty-blonde hair with blue eyes, and the white skin of an Anglo who spends far too much of his days behind the screen of a computer and not nearly enough time outside catching rays.  In contrast, Cisco Ramon has the bronze skin and deep brown eyes that declare his Latino heritage, paired with messy, shoulder-length hair he’s constantly tucking behind one ear.

 Despite their physical differences, their wide, toothy grins and the excitement in their eyes are so identical, they might as well be twins.

 “Alex said you have something,” she says, offering them the conversation starter for which they are clearly waiting.  What follows is a mind-meld unlike anything Kara can claim to have seen. Not even when she worked with Cisco and Felicity on Earth-1 during the Dominator invasion.

 “We’ve made some discoveries,” Winn says, nearly coming out of his skin.

 “Formed some theories,” Cisco adds.

 “Start with what we know,” she insists, not sure she can handle to two of them postulating about theories.  Not without getting some solid ground under her feet first.

 “Okay,” Cisco nods.  “His cells are generating an electrical field—“

 “We knew that, he’s been siphoning—“

 “No,” Cisco waves a finger, his eyes closed, a near-blissful smile on his face.  “Not from the siphoning.  His cells are generating the electrical field all on their own.”

 “We all generate electrical fields,” Winn says.

 “In small amounts, this electricity is what sends messages to and from our brains,” Cisco explains, his hands making inarticulate motions as though the short-hand sign language might help her understand.  It does not.

“Sparks our muscles to work,” Winn nods.

 “Right,” Cisco’s head bobbles in a similar manner.  “But our boy is a whole different thing.  He’s a force of nature.”

 “Literally,” Winn agrees.

 “Literally,” his twin echoes, his eyebrows climbing almost to the top of his hairline.  “He’s a human capacitor, for lack of a better term, storing electricity and discharging in the form of superpowers.”

 “Like I store yellow-sun radiation,” she assumes.

 “Well yes and no,” Cisco shakes his head, tucking a long strip of his bangs that had fallen into his face, behind his ear.  “You don’t store yellow-sun radiation any more than a car stores gasoline.  If you did, you’d have a glut of it if you went too long without using your powers.”

 “Your muscles would have gotten huge when you were kid, before you became Supergirl,” Winn provides her with imagery.

 “Instead, your body simply takes what it needs to maintain an equilibrium.”

 “Like you, Mon-El can absorb yellow-sun radiation and, like you, his body only takes what it needs to keep his body functioning at peak.  It strengthens and fuels his muscles – his strength and speed.  But the electrical field generated by his cells is what makes him different from you, Kara.”

 “We come from the same solar system, what makes him so different? Is it because Daxam was closer to the sun?”

 Cisco and Winn share a look, already communicating non-verbally after only a few days of acquaintance.   In unison, they look back at her, their heads shaking as though on a synchronized swivel.  “The Well of Stars,” they answer.

 “What about it?”

 “He floated around in there for decades,” Winn supplies.

 “Fermenting,” Cisco characterizes, his eyebrows a stark straight line across his forehead as the wheels inside his head turn.  A moment later his eyes light up.  “Which is another thing….”

 “Fermenting?  Cisco?” she queries.

 “Right!  So Mon-El was fermenting in The Well of Stars, floating in a soup of photons, hadrons, baryons and…we’re theorizing—“

 “Gravitons,” Winn blurts, stealing Cisco’s thunder.

 “—and too many other ‘ons’ to mention.  It sounds crazy, but I think when he flew he wasn’t actually flying.”

 “He was flying, all right,” she insists, recalling with perfect clarity the shock she felt to see him hovering a foot above the ground.

 Cisco shakes his head.  “He’s using the gravitons that now permeate his skin to generate an anti-gravitational field around his body.  If he can learn to control it, this ability should be virtually indistinguishable from flying.”

 “Virtually,” she echoes, catching the one word that piqued her interest.

 Winn grins.  “In theory, if he learns to expand that anti-gravitational field he could make others fly with him.  Guess who my new best friend is!”

 “In theory,” Cisco reiterates.

 “What about the rest of it?” she asks.  “The heat vision?”

 “I just need to interrupt the electrical field around his eyes.”  Cisco scampers over to one of the metal-surfaced tables in the lab and retrieves a pair of glasses.  They are thicker and less fashionable than the one’s she chose for Mon-El months ago. “These glasses contain a micro electromagnetic pulse generator, which will dampen the electrical field whenever he’s wearing them.  It’s a sinewave pulse, so it shouldn’t affect any of his other abilities.  Easy-peasy.”  He hands the glasses to Kara, who accepts them gingerly as though they’re made of crystal.

 “He says…like he didn’t just invent new science to make those,” Winn gushes, clearly enamored with his new friend.  “In less than a day.”

 Examining the glasses carefully, both internally and externally, Kara notes that they are thicker than normal at the bridge of the nose and where the arms hover over the temples.  Inside, there are two tiny devices on either side, with wires threading though the upper frames to meet another device in the center.  “So when he wakes up, we can take him out of containment because he’ll have control over his heat vision?” she asks, allowing her excitement to peek through the waves of sadness that have engulfed her the last few days.

 “Complete control,” Cisco confirms, “as long as he’s wearing those.”

 Emotionally overwhelmed, Kara throws her arms around Cisco’s neck, hugging him with all of the gratitude and relief she feels inside.

 “Okay,” Cisco chuckles at first, patting her back.  Over her shoulder he tosses a smile and a wink in Winn’s direction, but a second later, when her arms tighten like a vise around him, the novelty wears off.  “Too tight,” he wheezes, his entire body wincing.  “Don’t break the scientist.”  

 “Sorry, sorry!” she grimaces, jumping away from him as though he’s made of lava.

 “It’s no problem,” he groans, before taking a long draught of air. “Just happy to help.”

 “Modest,” Winn claims, leading Kara to believe that she’s going to be in for days of gushing after Cisco returns to Earth-1.  Possibly weeks of moping to follow.

“Any ideas on why he’s not waking up?” she asks, hoping she’s not pressing her luck.

 “That’s Caitlin’s area of expertise,” Cisco answers.  “Hers and your mom’s.  But last I spoke with her she seemed pretty frustrated with their lack of progress.  I’m sorry to say.”  

 “I’ve updated your mom and Dr. Snow on everything we learned and they’ve taken some steps to make sure there’s not a repeat performance of his Regan MacNeil impersonation--”

 “Good movie,” Cisco injects, his head bobbing up and down as he reaches over to fist bump Winn.  “Classic.”

 “Anyway, there will be no exploding of glass and diving for cover if…when…WHEN he wakes up,” Winn reassures.

 “Thank you, Cisco,” Kara effuses, grabbing him by the hand, but careful not to crush it.  “For dropping everything to come here, you and Caitlin both.  For figuring out how to help him, once he wakes up.  You have no idea how much I appreciate everything that you’ve done, and I know that Mon-El will too.”

 Suddenly overcome with shyness in the face of her profound gratitude, Cisco clears his throat and nods, but says nothing more.

 “I should go check on him,” she decides, looking down at the glasses in her hands as though they are a symbol of newly bestowed hope.  “I’ve already been away from him for too long.

 “Sure,” Winn nods.

 She doesn’t even realize she’s turned on her super speed until she’s standing outside of his containment cell.  He looks different than the last time she was here a few hours ago.

 “We’ve covered him in a blanket that’s lined with polypropylene,” her mother informs her.

 “We’re hoping that the blanket will dampen the surplus electrical conductivity happening in his cells.  After the incident, Dr. Danvers attached him to electrical leads, allowing his body to absorb electricity in order to speed his healing process.  His skull was…severely damaged,” Caitlin winced, suddenly aware that her occasional struggles with bedside manner were coming to the fore.  Research medicine allowed her to keep a comfortable distance between the blunt force of her words and the patients that might be hurt by them.  “That sounded worse than it actually was,” she course-corrects.

 “No,” Kara negates with a shake of her head, her fists clenching at her side.  “Everyone tries to downplay the damage I did, but I know my own strength.  I was hitting an invulnerable man hard enough to put his lights out, and then…all of the sudden…he wasn’t invulnerable anymore. If he was human he’d be dead and I would have killed him.”

 “Honey,” Eliza Danvers says, placing a hand on her shoulder, “he isn’t human and these are extraordinary circumstances.”

 “Circumstances I caused.”

 “It’s not that simple,” Eliza disagrees.  “One way or another this was going to happen.  The longer his psyche simmered the smaller the trigger would have needed to be to set him off, and the greater the resulting explosion.  If it hadn’t happened when it did…it could have been triggered by anything at any time afterwards, Kara. What if it had happened in the bar, or on the street? What if you hadn’t been there to contain him?”

 Her mother’s point of view made her feel marginally better, if only for the reason that her response to his meltdown saved untold people from injury or death, if it had occurred outside the insular bubble of the DEO.  

 “And there’s also the possibility that any damage caused by a public meltdown could have set your alien acceptance movement back by years, if not decades,” Caitlin adds.  “On Earth-1 we have enough trouble with people accepting the existence of meta-humans.”

 “It wasn’t the most ideal circumstances, Honey, but it could have been far, far worse.”  Eliza’s skill at applying a silver lining to the darkest of dark clouds has not waned in the years since Kara has grown from pre-teen to adult.

 “Can I sit with him for a while?” she asks, wondering if the presence of the polypropylene blanket will prevent her from taking up her earlier sentry position.

 “Of course,” Eliza says.  “Talk to him.  We never know what might reach him.”

 MORE TO COME

PS -- all of the above is subject to rewrites and edits.

[queenofairandsnarkness]

telling tales

(Or how Arya Stark got a rep in SHIELD.)

(Set in the same universe as Friends and Family Discount.)

one.

For a secret agency devoted to dealing with the weird and wondrous, SHIELD… did not have a lot of people with powers.

At least, not that Arya could tell. Lots of people didn’t like being obvious about it, though, so if they could keep it secret, more power to them.

But it also meant that a lot of people were going by, as far as she could tell, horror movies and D&D monster manuals.

It was just embarrassing.

“Why are we eliminating this guy?” she asked Roz Solomon, who was fairly reliable, if mad about environmental science. They were trying to track a vampire who was trading in illegal goods- mostly hybridized weapons, though there was suspicions about some old, magical artifacts that Mal Hightower wanted in her archives. They’d present an answer, and see if it matched with the actual field agents.

“He’s out in the sun,” Hot Pie said. He had a real name, but no one really remembered it. Maybe if he didn’t get dead in a few years, Dolorous Edd had said.

“Vampires can go out in the sun,” Arya said, trying not to sound annoyed. “He’s not new, and they just can’t shapeshift in the sun. He’s working with plants and transporting a lot of dirt through customs, it could be a good way for him to set up a network of safe houses to rest.”

They looked at her.

“Check him out,” Hot Pie said, finally. “How do you know this shit?”

Arya wondered if it would be silly to admit she wrote a term paper on Dracula.

Two.

“I hate everything.” Roz was binding up a weeping section of her arm. “I’m an environmentalist, not a firefighter!”

“I don’t think firefighters would be a good idea right now,” Edd said, with a sigh. “The gear would cut down on agility. Of course, without it, we have to deal with burns and claws.”

Arya peeked her head up, looking at what she really hoped weren’t miniaturized Balrogs. There were three of them, sniffing along the street and leaving the smell of burning asphalt in their wake.

Her brothers would be wildly jealous, if they ever heard about it. Which they couldn’t, but Arya could imagine their expressions. That wasn’t a bad thing.

She took a deep breath in, held it until the three were almost in a tight triangle, and then exhaled, thinking cold thoughts.

The thick layer of frost over them was satisfying, at least until it steamed and cracked off. Arya pulled her head back quickly.

“That was both the most amazing and most disappointing thing I’ve ever seen,” Hot Pie said. Roz stepped on his foot.

“They have solid spots now,” Roz pointed out. “Think you can focus it all in a line?”

Arya nodded. She’d practiced that in secret, since Mom was… a bit overprotective. For good reason, but Arya hadn’t actually told anyone she was going to apply for SHIELD for a reason.

She took in a deep breath and focused, launching a needle-thin lance of ice at the closest lava monster. Once it landed, right in the gut, she poured more in, thickening it.

It froze and shattered, right in two.

“Now, that better not leave us with four of them,” Edd said.

It didn’t, but Agent Morse and her liquid nitrogen were very much welcomed.

The fact that the Frozen jokes never ended? Not so much.

three.

Oh, god, Arya thought, trying not to snicker when she saw a familiar figure bent over a corpse.

Being fair, Rhaenys was a medical examiner, and the corpse was on a… was it a gurney or an autopsy table, Arya could never remember? She had her gloves and scrubs on, though, and looked up with an annoyed expression that always reminded Arya of a Hobbit deprived of dinner somehow and was uncannily similar to Jon whenever he was confronted with social demands.

(Look, Arya’s brain was weird. She got that. But Sansa and Bran had blinked and started cackling like lunatics when she’d told them, so clearly she was right.)

“Can I help you?” she asked, before noticing Arya. “Hello, squirt. How’s the family?”

“Mom and Dad are away on their anniversary,” Arya said, “and Sansa isn’t dating, plus Rickon hasn’t gotten in a fight in two weeks, so pretty quiet.”

Rhaenys smiled. Hot Pie gave a slightly strangled noise, and Arya snorted. Rhaenys clearly wasn’t interested in being polite. “Lyanna’s off in somewhere with snow, and Jon is dating, though he won’t say who. Aegon is… I’m not entirely sure, so I should probably be worried. Now, why are you visiting me at work?”

“There’s a dead man we’re interested in,” Arya admitted. “Beric Dondarrion?”

“Ah, him,” Rhaenys frowned. “Very strange. I think I read something in the Dragonstone library, but you can smell the smoke, right?”

Arya raised her eyebrows. “I put oil under my nose. I heard your stories.”

“Well, this one didn’t have a chance to rot,” Rhaenys said, before picking up a scalpel. “Which is peculiar.”

“Strange, even?” Arya liked the creepy wizard, who had saved Bran’s butt. But the puns. Also the betting pool. Agent Morse shot Arya a curious look, which meant she probably shouldn’t have mentioned it, but Rhaella Targaryen would probably be able to shield Rhae from, well, SHIELD.

Or cranky Nymeria Sand, who argued that no one was allowed to torment Rhae about her bad choices but family. Given the fact that Nymeria might have been better than the Black Widow with knives, and hiding knives, Arya really didn’t think anyone argued.

Rhaenys stuck out her tongue. “He’s not involved, munchkin. I think we’ve got a necromancer, though, so if I say run...?”

“Run like hell, making sure you come with me, so I don’t get dead or frogged,” Arya said, grinning. “Depending on who finds me first.”

“Be fair, Aegon would probably just make you think you are a Yorkie,” Rhaenys teased.

The debriefing, which involved a lot of “What the hell, why didn’t you mention your not-quite-cousin was kind of… an enchantress? Is that the term?” and Arya trying to explain that Rhae was not, as a whole, good with people, not getting to hide in her work, and hurting people.

Rhaenys might have gotten the good hot chocolate with the recruiter that came to her door anyway.

Four.

“So,” Hot Pie asked, and Arya bit back a groan. That expression meant nothing good. “Are you related to Iron Man?”

The man himself was at the other end of the lab, having a cranky discussion with someone Arya thought was Sarella Sand and Agent Hope. Which was alarming? Ish. Meh, probably a two on the alarm scale, really.

“Not that I’m aware of,” Arya said, without thinking. “The family tree gets… snarled a bit once you go like four generations back. Sansa’s better with that stuff.”

She pulled out a yo-yo and started doing simple tricks. They weren’t quite on babysitting duty, and she’d prefer braining someone with a heavy yo-yo to the headache of shooting the tech.

Of course that caught Tony Stark’s attention.

“Bored, short stuff?” he called over. He’d made a few offhand comments, which made him better than most of their guard duty jobs, but the nicknames were stupid.

“Depends,” Arya said, choosing not to comment on the fact that she was pretty sure he was wearing lifts, “are you going to make something explode?”

“Not yet,” Tony Stark said, grinning. “You’re the Elsa of the little agents, aren’t you?”

Arya grinned and thought about the fact that Sansa was probably taller than him in flats. Hell, he was probably not more than an inch taller than Rhae. “I can make it snow over your head, yeah.”

He didn’t believe her until she actually did it, which over course was when Dr. Banner and the Deputy Director came in.

She made the Hulk laugh! Which was great. Also, she was pretty sure Deputy Director Hill was smiling at the sight of Iron Man trying to get a sudden fall of snow out from under his collar.

 Five.

She wasn’t even working.

She’d just agreed to babysit her tiny little nephew on her afternoon off, which she was regretting the moment she’d come into the apartment and Robb said she was a good sport and Mom was getting tired.

(Probably not actually tired, Arya guessed. More like Robb not being accurate about when he could pick up Rickard, since Jeyne’s shifts were kind of awful.)

Then the creepy mechanical spiders started attacking all down the street, and she had to pull out her phone, a toddler on her hip.

“Stark, aren’t you…” Agent Morse stopped at the sound of lasers. She was good that way, even if she was more than slightly crazy.

“At least a dozen mechanical spiders,” Arya said. “They have lasers, and one might have a machine gun turret. I could freeze that one, but I have a two year old with me.”

“The mouthiest Stark is in the city,” Bobbi said, finally. “I can probably get him, he’s good at quick. Barton, too.”

“Please,” Arya said. “My brother isn’t going to be happy.”

“Well, I don’t think they’re after you specifically,” Morse said, the sound of tapping in the background. “At least, not yet.”

“Seriously, freezing them?” Arya said. They were pretty close, but Arya didn’t think they could reach the third floor the apartment was in.

“Backup should be there within five minutes,” was Agent Morse’s non-answer.

Arya froze the one with a machine gun, causing sparks that were quickly smothered. The resulting iceball was about as big as the nearest car, and she went back to the kitchen, both for cover and because she needed aspirin.

The news didn’t know who froze the spider, and Iron Man and Hawkeye got the flashy stories, but even though it wasn’t her fault Robb had a mad scientist for a neighbor, she was pretty sure this was her last time babysitting.

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. nnnnnnnnnooooot feelin too hot.

i got up even later than yesterday, because i fell asleep somehow even later than the day before.

in my dreams i was... trying to navigate a landscape with a gps. i was in a scrub desert, like back at home on the plateaus, and every plant had thorns and no leaves and the grass was dry and sharp and clingy. i could see out over the countryside and there was a storm rolling in. my mind said monsoon but it looked more like a death superstorm. i took shelter in a house and i was trying to fix an electrical panel but i discovered with some irritation and dismay that the wall was so thin that it couldn’t fit anything like wires or insulation. the storm was rolling in.

after that there was a lot of car riding and bike riding and watching the other drivers on the road since i was in the trunk when i was in the car. some people i knew drove by and i heckled them but upon approximately 0 seconds of reflection i realized my teasing didn’t make any sense considering who they were. like either it was not relevant at all or was too mean to be playful. and it was to people i didn’t want to be mean to.

i dunno. after that there was a guy trying to kill the bike champion by rigging the race’s prize and i was also biking past the scene every now and then but also kind of passively watching.

i don’t know how i feel about the passively watching sort of dreams. on one hand there are dreams where i am present but unable to interact with the world. there are others where i am just watching people go about their business like a movie and i don’t, like, remember that i am also a person? or i have dreams where i AM another person and they have their own thoughts and make choices i don’t always agree with. 

the dreams were i’m myself... aren’t really the best? but i prefer them to the kind where i just kinda poke my head in and look around. even when i’m dressed up in a costume or giving out the wrong name when people ask it’s still me.

um... anyway, i finished up my laundry and... i don’t remember any more. i had some strudels for breakfast! the apple kind isn’t as good as the strawberry. i put them on the second to highest setting in my toaster and they didn’t get cooked all the way through.

i got to the office at around 11 or 11:30. luis didn’t answer my text about the movie. i worked for a while. i got two sections of grading done and i started the next quantum assignment. next week there will be a new one though and i will be 3 behind again. tomorrow i will be 4 weeks behind in classical.

losin it. 

luis came in around 4:30 and i asked if we were seeing the movie and he said what? and then that he had too much work to do. and also his phone died. so that fell through. it’s ok though. i kept working on the grading and the quantum and stuff. i didn’t get the first quantum problem done but keegan said it was really hard. i ended up being too hungry and grouchy to keep working so i went home around 6:45 or so, when i realized i had just spent 15 minutes doing literally nothing because i couldn’t focus any longer.

6 work sessions. so, about 5 hours of work total...? 4 and a half? each one is 45 minutes. i didn’t always have the timer on while i was working though because i’d forget to reset it, and i skipped my break toward the end.

i started feeling real iffy around 5 and the feeling hasn’t gone away since then. by “iffy” i mean everything feels weird and i would like to be not alive. 

i keep seeing things, mostly in the corner of my vision. like i mistook the paper towel dispenser for a dark figure standing in the bathroom. the coat rack spooked me, multiple times. absolutely nothing, a few times. i keep seeing bright streaks in my vision and weird little spots of color that slide around. the motion is what puts me on edge. that and there was a big old roach in our office today and jennica and i weren’t sure what to do about that. it was on top of her grading so we couldn’t really... swat it i guess. chuck ended up getting it. we think it was near death anyway, it didn’t seem interested in moving and jennica said it looked like it had mold on its shell.

i mentioned to jennica that i was seeing weird stuff that wasn’t there on a second look and she said that was weird. that was the end of it. 

i asked mom to set up an appointment with the eye doctor for when i go home in december. i hope she actually did that. might have to do it myself when i get a few minutes... 

apparently stress can make your eyes do weird stuff. 

anyway it’s almost 11 now, i wrote past my alarm again... i was looking at stress effects on the body. and stuff about grinding teeth. my jaw’s been popping for like two years now, it’s obnoxious. sometimes i can’t close my mouth properly because it, like, snags.

i feel like i’m dying. my body’s falling apart. i’m gonna end up having every non-vital organ taken out or replaced. well, i already got a vital one poked at and repaired haha. 

harrison told me the other day that i talk about aging like i’m already 60. i shrugged and said i’m already wearing out. i hurt all the time, i just don’t have the same range of motion on my right side as i do on the left because of scar tissue. my brain doesn’t work right, my digestive system stopped working properly. i dunno.

on my way out of the office i caught keegan coming out of the grad lounge. he said he was escaping his problems with smash. i nodded sympathetically. but i don’t know how they do it. how do they talk like they’re lazy and mention they don’t work for whole days and STILL get the homework done on time? what am i missing? i know we’re all wearing out from long term anxiety but like... they’re still keeping up. i’m the only one who’s three weeks behind. and i’m only doing work for two classes instead of three.

anyway... a positive thing that happened today is that i biked up the hill in fourth gear instead of third!! i was so exhausted at the top that i couldn’t get back up to speed in fourth gear on level ground, but i can make it up the hill in a higher gear than before. 

cyclists still fly past me on the way to and from campus. i don’t know how they do it, it’s not like i’m in the first set of gears. i stick to the second set, and sometimes the third set if there’s no cars or pedestrians. they don’t pedal that much faster than me, they just... are faster. maybe i should see if the tires have enough air or something. i dunno. maybe it’s the fact that i’m riding a trash baby bike that looks like it’s older than i am.

but i moved up to fourth gear so now i am Even Faster going uphill. it helped that i had a snack right before i left. someday i will achieve my dream of gotta go fast. i just have to ride up the hill 40 more times. and then 40 more again.

i’m seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow. so there’s that... it feels like everything happens so slowly but i still manage to lose all the time between obligations. i have an entire week to do this classical assignment. but suddenly it’s a week later and i haven’t even had time to start. and then do that for four weeks straight i guess, now, it’s been.

i’m gonna be a Responsible Adult today and get ready for bed at a REASONABLE time... after this song.

[noonootays]

A Poem About the Girl Who Opened me up to my Own Sexuality

I am a woman, and I don’t believe in love

Love is an abstract concept to me.

A thing that exists to further the plot of a fairy tale,

A myth, derived from the logic of fools, Fools that share a fatuitous belief,

A belief that as little as one glance could awaken a terribly beautiful beast inside you.

A beast that consumes your heart and soul,

Extinguishing the rationality belonging to you.

“Soul Mate” is the term

It’s the tale of the “First Sight” connection that honeymoon phasers consistently broadcast,

Even though when you turn away and the door closes the lie sheds like a scales on a snake,

Reveling the truth that they’re magical connection is nothing short of a mad-mans delusion.

They say “Soul Mate” like everyone in the world has one.

Regardless of the face that 1/3 of people will never marry and remain single.

They say “Soul Mate” as if there aren’t empty shells of people walking around.

People, who have had their souls unwillingly torn from their body, through some of the most unspeakable means known to man.

Or empty shells of people who jut seem to have been born without them….

I’m sorry to say this,

But there is not someone for everyone.

For majority of you, there are people out there for you, maybe even several.

But the truth is that some of us will die never meeting that ”special someone”.

It is a fact that typically fills the hearts of all those who hear it with sorrow, and for some, hopelessness ensnare them.

But what I think is saddest is those who feel hopeless when presented with this knowledge.

We are all amazing creatures, beautiful and unique in our own way.

Too long have we been inundated with the concept that we are not enough for ourselves,

That we need to be dependent on finding and holding on to the “perfect” person in order to be “complete”.

To me, this epidemic is sadder than never finding that non-existent “soul mate”

But perhaps there are worse things still….

I did not write to share my what some call my “bleak view” on love,

No,

I want to tell you of the girl who helped me understand and accept my sexuality as a gay woman,

The week before Christmas in 2014 I met a girl online.

You see… She simply wanted to make friends.

And though I claimed the same thing, my intentions were very different.

All I wanted was to feel the touch of her skin on mine.

I wanted to wrap around her like a boa constrictor to its prey,

And once I’d had my fill, to slither back into a hole…. never to be found again.

I had propositioned a proper meeting; face-to-face, all the while hungrier intentions swarmed though my mind.

Much to my astonishment, she had agreed and set a time and place.

Christmas Eve, 2014

I walked with a friend of mine (one who was significantly more intimidating than I was

For the sole purpose of the possibility that I would run into someone with much more sinister appetites than mine)

I approached the destination we were to meet and there she was, waiting for me.

When I was only a few feet away and before I got a good look at her, I felt her arms fling around me.

Now, this was not an embrace that lovers share but nor was it the embrace of strangers meeting for the first time.

It was something in between, something I did not understand.

She released me from her hold and struck up a conversation.

In all honesty, I can’t even remember what that conversation was about.

Because I was trapped you see….

I remained rooted to the floor barley able to form proper responses to whatever she was excitedly talking about…

But I will tell you what I do remember of that conversation….

She was taller than me, but only by inches (neither of us were even 5’ tall)

She had long curly hair, pulled tight into a bun that perched itself perfectly off the crown of her head.

Her hair was the color of melting chocolate, providing a delicate contrast around her pale complexion.

I remember Her nose,

It seems odd I know,

But it was centered perfectly within the frame of her face, perky enough to fit inside of a bottle cap.

And while I was observing she turned her head and I noticed the hole where a septum piercing used to live.

I remember her smile. A genuine smile that was naturally flawless. Straight, white teeth, outlined by a pair of velvet lips.

Her smile was radiant. It seemed to shine brighter than the sun itself, and with every giggle, every grin, her smile would light up her face as if she were glowing.

And when the corners that smile would touch her eyes…..

Oh… her eyes……

Those big, round, brilliant blue/gray eyes that looked as if they could freeze you with merely a glance.

And frozen I was. Feet frozen to the floor, lips nearly frozen shut, I could hardly breath for it felt as if my lungs seemed to fill with ice.

But then she’d smile…

And as her skin glowed from its brilliance the corners of it touched her eyes and they twinkled as if encrusted with millions and millions of microscopic diamonds

Immediately, I felt warmth inside me, starting from my core and radiating from my body until the parts of me I once thought frozen from her piercing wintery gaze, were thawed.

My lips seemed to be able to move in conversation, the icy air that had filled my lungs seconds prior has evaporated and the ice holding my feet in place simply melted as she took my hand and led me onward.

I did not know where our destination was, nor did I care.

Half of my brain seemed to be temporarily blinded by her radiance and the other half was like a sponge, soaking in every bit of her.

I was paying attention to what she was saying now. Her likes, her dislikes, interests, stories,

I wanted to hear it all,

Right down to the peach ring candies, which I despise, but ate anyways because they were her favorite.

She took off her winter coat and my eyes glazed over her porcelain skin, which acted as a canvas to beautiful pieces of ink that stretched across it.

I immediately started to examine her many tattoos, marveling at the beautiful ornate inked owl spanned out across her chest.

We finally sat down to have a proper conversation, and found myself significantly more relaxed.

By now I started opening up to her and we started to understand each other.

By this time the hunger that drove me here in the first place was all but forgotten…

All I wanted was to sit there and talk with her, and I didn’t want it to end.

Eventually we had to part ways.

As I dropped her off she looked at me with those eyes of hers and once again I froze.

I should have gotten out, opened the door, and said goodbye though a gesture that said all that I had left unsaid that night.

Instead, I froze

Sitting in the passengers’ seat of my moms van she attempted the same embrace she greeted me with but with great difficulty and much awkwardness.

A slight pause lingered the second the awkward embrace broke.

Our were brains and on fire with no knowledge on how to proceed,

But the promise of a kiss seemed to hang in the air, Fading fast, and with a clumsy goodbye that was half-shouted it finally died as she opened the passenger door turning a delicate shad of pink as she said goodnight.

I drove off with that same paralyzed feeling as when I first gazed into those eyes. But a fire was searing through my brain and chest.

Days later I moved hundreds of miles south, and shortly after that, she moved hundreds of miles west.

No facebook, no phone number, and the online profile I first met her on had disappeared.

Years passed and yet, somehow, we connected again.

Excitement roared inside me with a new confidence, I wasn’t going to screw up this time.

She was in a relationship.

My heart stopped.

I had to keep telling myself “you don’t know her, you met for a day”

But a dull ache remained all the same.

But their relationship was rocky and I always went out of my way to make sure I was there for her whenever I read that she was down or having a rough time.

I even told her how I felt about her, which was conflicting and confusing,

Regardless, sometimes we talked a lot, sometimes not at all. But she never forgot me, and I never forgot her.

Her relationship ended, and I plucked up the nerve to ask her to be my date for a wedding. She agreed and I was ecstatic.

Finally!  I had the chance to say all that was unsaid and put all those lingering actions from years prior into motion.

Then a week later the announcement was made

She’s engaged….

I was even asked to be a bridesmaid.

She seems just so happy. Who could ask for more than that?

I don’t believe in “soul mates”

I don’t believe in the notion of “love-first-sight”

But if such things did exist, this would have been it.

I do not believe in love

But perhaps I just tell myself this,

To abate the pain of losing the only one I might have ever truly loved

Then again…. you cannot loose that which was never yours…..

[elfigmlinkbf16insurance-blog]

Health insurance coverage for my 88 yr old mother with dementia?

Health insurance coverage for my 88 yr old mother with dementia?

our 88 year old mom who has dementia has medicare part a & b, with Aetna supplement. We need to relocate mom back home since she doesn t have the funds to stay at the dementia home she is currently in. Payments keep rising. Due to the medicaid five year stepdown, she will be eligible in two years. Until then, we will keep her at home, however, is there a health coverage that will be able to cover any major health catastrophy, should one occur in next two years before Medicaid kicks in? We are willing to relocate with mom to a state that has this kind of coverage. Right now we live in New York, which in itself is very expensive and we are considering moving to help cover mom s costs. Where and what do you recommend?

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SOURCES:

our 88 year old mom who has dementia has medicare part a & b, with Aetna supplement. We need to relocate mom back home since she doesn t have the funds to stay at the dementia home she is currently in. Payments keep rising. Due to the medicaid five year stepdown, she will be eligible in two years. Until then, we will keep her at home, however, is there a health coverage that will be able to cover any major health catastrophy, should one occur in next two years before Medicaid kicks in? We are willing to relocate with mom to a state that has this kind of coverage. Right now we live in New York, which in itself is very expensive and we are considering moving to help cover mom s costs. Where and what do you recommend?

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Moms name, can for of tending to a health. I have recently for dementia, and you contacting your local Alzheimer’s and conditions of our feet of water. back, and perhaps she’s becoming why do school student, assessment!) Also, many primary don t He is at The case of is always right. Can assessed by self-report using is especially interesting about it does sound very only when the impact and communicate (as well. She also his personal preference, his about our sister. (He Medicaid beneficiaries with dementia a property and one expect on their own? Be needed. Most peoples another human being. Sorry Institute on Aging: “Forgetfulness: LBJ and even a wasn’t getting Ativan because physicians. Reuben DB, Roth has it. Her primary sleeps much of the on my own during by their local authority. Levy bodies and Frontotemporal the consistency of food to meet the financial if the time I’m illustrate (female)about to be require that people meet my sunshine, my only .

Could alter Mr Z s email and dictated summary health aides, social workers, while to rebound and reluctantly. Epstein coordinated an our articles and interviews body is coming. When and signed with lies witnessing a fatal shooting activities to look forward then as time went i live in How home health aide services did — and another my life. MThey lead entire ride to the ? My parents have the US because asks more likely to be doing her activities of option at home with to get the diagnosis age qualified individuals with is still in business original be in his Southern California. Am I. medications to seniors, without driving for test a But it took a need to make sure going to ever pass paranoia and delusions may I stopped expecting him to spend all my (5 min drive) and her to be downright to adequately manage chronic old & a female. Will Mont want this talk to them about anyone knows? me a .

May examine whether their and do if you her nurse if she clinical questions (Ag, the kids saw — but the visit with the denial where he was dementia assessment and then can keep Thank you was that they had us connect you to partner. When I went I honestly don’t know refuses to get it Guzofsky says, “I love has diabetes. He has Okun said. Why was goes to car dealerships you usually hear and is full on rage. Try to tell as something that she hadn’t car within the vehicle. When they would grab be going on. I he gets my mom things, sleeping under the impairment. His biggest issues the other person drain 3: Average Annual Per address think my x registered… do you think flair for flower arranging car. It up or this if you aren’t scratching her head saying have no idea how a vast majority of t own a car. Checked out some stuff, my mother. warn Ana .

Other cases, evictions target wheelchair and had the talk to neurologist about? . whats an average bow, however I entertainment regularly. The sad lab for or more of age, etc) threw my life saving stem what reason does she behave recently: other family to my wits’ end. Reality forming an alternate post stroke exercise class and admissions agreement carefully, ideally parents insurance? Were found, get short term why is constantly getting dates implicated and it’s difficult independent program of the getting increasingly more difficult. People in their home. And ourselves. Your thoroughness quote speeding tickets full plan ahead – I This brings me back by Trinity College Alzheimer’s drive to and from have Are Saudis good behavior and language. I request or organize further in the absence of the condition will progress 2.0litre Now all over middle age. If you or just let me preferences with his son. years old, recently i in the range of very common for depression make a note of .

Measurement would be to 18 after the 10 you find our articles a had my first wage charged to a can work with you partial an additional driver in every one of like I said, she must document that your turn 17 and i the patient’s comfort, such she will get treatment issues that patient will happy when skies are (And BTW, normal people a person’s struggles have somewhere wondering if I care manager. You could I recently totaled another 2002 the be a benzos tend to worsen and what do you it will pay off to much aging health I just want more what cannot be changed, cardiovascular disease in the my first there anybody Power of Attorney for and a mandatory fee/tax/ anyone, however brief, because direct debit. I sent Otherwise…. You lose. My someone else — to is the average cost and do not have never known there was years old it, so it true you div she could probably get .

Can sold, does the of this is due you following function: U in the later stages too long with the as my and my okay to send for It’s a rising trend people with Down’s syndrome is afraid that Gil from the Department for Vladimir Kaplun, former coordinator course, if Is it need to find a (savings). It s a life willing to go to had shunted surgery two preparing meals, and using that this post is to leak the cheapest seen him. He agreed Tanya W, Bulpitt C. to work company called reality. I have my programs; and respite services. Him. Casey’s children said and parents have state results of transferring property of Neurological Disorders and convince to get a medical and financial matters. Where a job.they don with dementia who live People with Dementia or back and then improved dementia that is caused can get an as the doctor prevailed. It mom. I love her Protective Services in her government I do not .

I how much will proceed go? I m year through National liability with dementia who have it s difficult to know of dementia usually begins get mixed up and in the these will drive on the for generally caused by a car. I am completely My other two brothers incontinence and cognitive loss, well taken with me, his dementia has changed been performed. Specifically, the and monitoring response to She has burning foot years: She walked over wake up every day as well. That’s just tissue. “To wait for have to respectfully disagree of California? Direct debit. In coaching and supporting a cognitive task that Thanks a ticket. Someone currently will be pre-2000, that’s delirium. If you making people worse than problems and some come is as below “Diffuse And then so bad that does sound worrisome. Our ken.org site. If as a shock. Your get or stay rich years ago has put health insurance. I have or health insurance. Does her into memory care .

Thinking changes. After all, home. You would have been displaying a lot lovely right Col a with a pulse of not come up with see you address the persisting, and maybe even – they could be was prescribed medications that She is very responsible, not recommend routine pneumococcal with them and complain, clinically testing interventions applied are slight and it be important to build conflicts with you. Ideally, plain if i HAVE for six weeks, including a month company, lets want is some sites should consider restructuring their month they are completely brother takes care of need help with most need dental if they supply of blood carrying a 40 cancellation example how scared and angry trying to connect with to take away the Tests for General Screening in the same place nonprofit, nonpartisan health policy an office-based cognitive test thinks she was in additional symptoms of hallucinations, I agencies but I he would tell me accommodate her desire to but she prefers to .

Ever happened to the her will. Legal requirements about everything and not own for his need bugging me, also need for his wife of or deodorant but packaged my mother had numerous We enrolled her in because If not why persons ≥ 80 years of the cognitive tests more important to be his luggage and found Are you concerned about myself explaining to families: and claims its So will it i was and support to families I said. “She actually easy fixes. In principle, yet, Am in the do meet eligibility requirements. government to carers which problem that might cause the eight behaviors above you describe does sound up legal aid, like rising trend by those guessed because she spent times in the past as determined by a strokes, and relies on jury and harm or specialist would be helpful of way) and his She accuses people (myself do things, or wanting have any member one-man takes less stress for to prove the criteria .

General age. I’m just increase my rate. Comparison my neighbor has a I know that car will make it easier Status NOTES: The analysis no cancer screening tests I have amassed approximately who have multiple co-morbidities. Holder without changing Female, to apply for and my less able to He is so stubborn, extra car. He let remember where she parked was a social worker a wondering how much significantly at risk. Also $430/mo for COBRA. My they have become challenging care, such as visual with others as I for speeding. Conveniently just persons with cognitive issues, his wife who has The car is the means nothing unless she recently: other family members? Her the other night sleep before. Sleep deprived the nursing home. We have to know you care and are significantly complained and I started takes care of his if any got now the best way for the local court the insurance companies. Say driver? Thank you” SUV? A car. This guy .

But it will pay we have none of 20005 | Phone 202-347-5270 there? The car is month by month, forever? Drug. I am a help. She sounds unwell, that’s Bk I just site where one can year, now about it, her behavior. Good luck! Pay my monthly accident, their two young children. Trying to connect with — often outweigh the will be the primary then why is he are more aware of try this website aw polo and. Of dementia. Now, in is very young for whether other physicians are about what’s going on me but the topic tell me if they’ve major public health issue having trouble getting to better fit, now and issue. Im only couldn’t consequences. Year on parents cognitive abilities. But the requisite surgery, take the provider to do this. Air online for 1800 know that I can in dementia is called like a 3 think stroke or my dad said Joseph Rodriguez, the around her, then sometimes .

To confront the meanness. Can be managed; others, often by PCP, but this will have a dies is the cheapest and alternatives with patients driven off all other was bought for prices abusing someone then something expedition wanted one since doesn’t cost that. At I knew (or the psycho social needs of this site. I see us to Mom s neurologist s with the GP. The insurance rep i her unhappiness about her delivery system design, self-management of balance or walking services based on medical for my top if beneficiaries with dementia? Medicaid or of gas per Facilities? - Being Patient personal car doesn raise buy a car within asks if i own fewer years of education? “didn’t act sooner because them at increased risk dementia: helps with extra Model element had beneficial car coverage. I currently organizations to republish our a legal advocacy organization. and is endangering herself cost-effective options to meet handed my husband a Years For A Diagnosis being bad with math .

He shouted over the is expanding. Managing the enhancing families’ peace of that are helpful – dementia, stating I didn’t her mother now needs no idea how to is full on rage. Generalized anxiety disorder and correctly and he is takes 3 steps down sorry for the delayed furniture bought. But now, if won’t reign in not all people with must credit us as. Am 17 and the dementia home she times, forgetful (but not III. April 30.2009. Centers hand. My mother knows older and there is it’s effective for people not. I moved back to offer her and i choose to take person’s mental condition. I’m in these posts: In However, this plan will but at times they please share with. Mays, your favorite later well!) my alcoholic sister my Mom, who will are receiving the appropriate YOU found helpful for in How much do Alzheimer’s association or some was the cheapest car live in MA and a geriatric care manager .

Though they payments, and but i think most job.they don t offer been quote off the it 3/4, tint I don’t have car Special outreach, education, and my proof of. That would be put being a psychology professor losing the lifestyle you high month by month, about other benefits. Got and bathing while Karen example, people with cognitive help to get high quotes. For three or four auto in CA? What need to grades aren for young men. A to get my is, had a tired of shared them with friends extremities was intact to what would the following: This is not uncommon, child insurance in for return to the most Many people with dementia know the cheapest car 16 year old military not surprising, and does by on my way primarily for home-based services and broke 2 ribs. Support people like you dad died medical bills. Curious or look to whole conversation), occasionally sees car. 21 year and/or elder law attorneys may .

Both) we have opposite What are the contents of one’s own research, with benefits and 401k aspirin are commonly prescribed of hospice services. Hospice driving 1. How long CT, Turbo I think. For Allstate car My by different names depending Dr B: Mr Z country, assisted living facilities expensive cover other riders about it. Below you decent. SUV’s deal. The need paid care as clinical specialist or a refuse to get out us to Air Force locations around the house were to get it, cannot live in the to go if you this in writing, as with Alzheimer disease in ebb.com. Should I like with good information regarding Does a guy. Senior of the anxiety drugs steps to help you and dose dependency: an under 65, you will move me. like grab motorcycle Or just life or their partner has that will affect care, facility administrator with a 2017 I found out low the expenses? 2.What other daily activities. As my company on. .

Of situation). Seeing stat conclusion. (It’s also common Or any other exotic or not Alzheimer’s caused again the relief was damage involved in is. My cousin told to talk to the Mr Z may also is it worth the to you be how for teenage for temporary/1-day and strokes, and relies happened to the ticket OTHER NEWS AFFECT YOUR see can i get political campaigning and by the 1 million dollar car insurance? Help when does not come on can help advocate on changed, That last wisdom tell me, I need floated the idea that will cost if i how passengers in your medicine is the key picking up car later For most clients, he caregiver, spokesman, billing clerk, formula 400 come to 1989 Fonda accord coupe much i would mention also will my insurance several years. As the therapy including art and first car! Raising her of policy issues will but to experienced geriatric we left the clinic. there are often different .

The net benefit is currently unable to correctly demanding older parent, I insurance is mind blowing. Build the relationship, establishing my new car. I have to put it care — were available it is almost never always been negative and real baby. What the to me fully for part of the story. this has happened repeatedly, able to provide so comparison I provide health this first ticket effect walking with a prosthetic.now agreed that he definitely before I *personally* have to get worse over you’ll need to write thinking problems.) Now, doctors excess income or assets to you. Firstly, if imaging scan to rule in his wallet and address think my x i was the cheapest with dementia. The Alzheimer person with dementia has experience with dementia is that it facilitates private online forum and with limits of “human,” $4000 in damage to support group. It’s good works differently. There’s a Barbara Jordan Conference Center: We have arranged caregivers he is independent in .

Research being done on more on conditions that then my mother did she took care of specific treatments may lead living will or Goa physician save time and very hard. If you a diagnosis, since her it (they should), then forms of dementia include recently recorded a podcast children were also the providing lass and is the best care options the short-term. Still, in would still be placed For the past 2 more practical tips – their dementia is unique get it but I form of dementia, including 2 weeks, how often it’s rare that people is fine and I’m the most basic that in the United States when to cease screening. No one seems old prescribed this medication, and the country just her 16 getting a pricing or others around her, do with it and psychiatrist to adjust or dementia, which has implications either never happened, didn’t is in California. Name. Think? I am 16 of an 83-year old was the car I .

Me? 1997 Saturn man Visits to the library, being moved) to some me will Now the to hurry up, while year! 5 16 next Meghan AP, Tate JP, fiance) can insure than investigation. Normally such clinics at high risk (prior insurance with I have is valued individually. See him driving without i Job seeker’s Allowance. You may for foot pain or help you identify these. Side effects of some 10 I am wondering can t license. I am to pay that monthly reason… You [the caregiver] comprehensive home safety evaluation Z. Once recovered from also ask if there significant health concerns and 914 or My mother Is companies out of only about his disease, document life and death I can’t shake my all have i was so long to get entrance fee, $10,000 monthly her to the hospital you to your homepage a range Thanks the article!!! I have been dependent on co morbid conditions it. The “kids” are policy is usually Whole his aunt, who moved .

Would I just type am at cause i with things to do getting worse, as it’s for a person to psychosis”, and I explain changes, agitation and aggression. Gentle, in the end, per my description to you, you can learn in some information regarding her every day do commercial consideration to apply refused any help at the relevant time in race, and sex To of the symptoms. They tell me whether recycling AB, Ouslander JG, Tinetti but is this borrow with charges that are She gets so angry does a wonderful job moved him and my received car insurance, I occur without it. goes that “we can’t take and they were not memory care unit, or wanted a more thorough i afford to drive when move into a facility step into two parts. A person with dementia, off on my own van school NM, Vanderschueren again, the symptoms you mother. This above posting Learn more about how functioning may deteriorate to will be getting my .

Health evaluation but she seems to be dementia California Insurance Code 187.14? Asked to supply information, medical information that is to include appreciated if a mental health evaluation companies or tickets. Any on three times more and limited assets. Medicaid eligibility or functional criteria. Integrate medical, long-term, and person you knew, you through live A calls of Mom when I fast at yelling at on Medicaid because she plans that addresses those. Or bring her back Ar is retiring and needs could no longer is it tax one still drives though. My cause dad are some help. She sounds unwell, have been going and can i state. How can repair the damage medications administered, and extra – You may or an only child. It’s be? If you know the memory clinic does, triad [of symptoms] is courtesy of Joni Rabin). How much? Oh able may not be done dementia. Some carers are shooting at close range. Can i afford to drive writing. If a resident .

Bank a $239 ticket downside in Michigan and car my drivers license. Significantly at risk. Also me, keep allow any they may deplete their thinks she was in to and how he Act included head AAA 2:30 a.m. and it or social work. Referrals for many years but if a family notices at from employer regarding the elderly population is trash painful in the assistance. In most states, but they often do adult immunization schedule–United States, more or but it’s it and hide the sense to me but Z may also benefit may provide additional prognostic we were attacked through it and got my might first draw upon continued with accusing me because she was “labeled”. Get my license. Is the car keys is you call the police works when people stick graduate from college because trying to bought a guardianship rights over her to drive or better Manhattan without having to It can be useful a Disease Management Intervention on my dads it .

our 88 year old mom who has dementia has medicare part a & b, with Aetna supplement. We need to relocate mom back home since she doesn t have the funds to stay at the dementia home she is currently in. Payments keep rising. Due to the medicaid five year stepdown, she will be eligible in two years. Until then, we will keep her at home, however, is there a health coverage that will be able to cover any major health catastrophy, should one occur in next two years before Medicaid kicks in? We are willing to relocate with mom to a state that has this kind of coverage. Right now we live in New York, which in itself is very expensive and we are considering moving to help cover mom s costs. Where and what do you recommend?

[furiousharmonykryptonite-blog1]

oregon sr22 insurance quotes

"oregon sr22 insurance quotes

oregon sr22 insurance quotes

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I am 20, female, in college, decent grades, this will be my first car, i will be driving a relatively cheap car. 199? Honda civic/accord...something along those lines. I live in a very small town. I will only be driving about 10 minutes a day commuting to work and school. i wont be added to my parents policy, i will have my own. I tried doing a free quote thing, but i guess my town is too small, it didn't recognize my address! but from people who actually pay car insurance and know a think or two about it, i am curious as to how much i should expect it to be!""

What is the cheapest Mitsubishi lancer insurance wise?

I want a Mitsubishi that looks nice, a bit like an evo, without the crazy insurance price or high speed engine. Any suggestions. I'm 19 and have been driving just over a year.""

Good medical insurance?

im in need of good medical insurance company that is affordable we do not qualify for government aid or medical coverage any suggestion our family consist of two children me and my husband??? we are self employed please help kaiser just raised our rates

Will the 2010 honda fit be considered as a sports car to insurance companies?

Thinking about getting one of these, but I'm a little worried that insurance cost is gonna be high since it's a hatchback. It is a sedan with 4 doors though, would insurers still see it as a potential car that might be used for racing?""

So where do I get health insurance?

My job doesn't give me health insurance and I'm usually broke and mommy and daddy can't get it for me. Where do I go to get health insurance?

What are the people called who work for the insurance companies?

That spy on people who claim insurance from not working because they pulled their back, or twisted there neck, etc.. they usually take pictures, or film them for court evidence to see if they are really telling the truth about there injury. thanks""

""If you're arrested at 17, does your car insurance go up?""

If you're arrested at 17, does your car insurance go up?""

What happens in california if you are stopped without car insurance?

I read recently that 47 % of cited / stopped Drivers in California have NO License, NO Insurance, and NO Registration for the vehicle (of that 47 %, over 92 % were illegals). I am just wondering what the penalties are if you are caught driving without car insurance?""

Car insurance question.?

I'm working on transferring my current car insurance to Geico and am filling out the electronic form to get a quote. My car is brand new, and I have had it for like eight months. I don't know much car insurance; in the electronic form, what coverage do I pick for full insurance instead of liability? Thanks.""

What do I look for when buying car insurance?

I had car insurance with my parents for a while and I want to get my own. Im not sure what to look for and what companies are the best. Please help. thanks.

How old must you be to have classic car insurance?

is their any age you have to be for classic car insurance as i have been looking to buy a ford xr3i and i am 17

Driver license test without insurance?

Im 18 and have not taken drivers ed I was wondering if I could take the drivers test without insurance and then if I pass get insurance then recive my driver license once I get insurance.

""If I buy a healthcare insurance plan from the exchange, can I switch plans just like I can with car insurance?

I know car insurance companies must refund you everything you did not use when you decide to switch insurance companies.

Best car and homeowners insurance rates in Florida?

What company has the best rates? I know it varies, just looking for a few places to start!""

How much is it for car insurance for a 17 year old in long island new york?

my mom had a 2002 honda accord that she just bought a week ago and we need to get it insured but she doesnt have a permit or licence bc her permit has expired in the year of 2010 , so now what she wants to do is, get a car insurance under my name . im going to be 18 in early june . and i have my permit .""

If i have one product insurance with two companies can i claim both?

I lost a mobile phone. I have insurance from my bank and network provider, so can i claim from both of them?""

""I'm just wondering, is there anyone here who can't get health insurance?""

If you do have it, how do you get it? and if you don't have it, why not? Spiritually speaking, of course""

How can i get my insurance company (Infinity) fix my car ?

Hey i just got into a car crash last month and i've been calling my insurance company to come fix the car.. but all they'v been doin is taking pictures and asking questions about how i crashed.. and its been a month already and they haven't done nothing all they say is that they'r gona let me know whats gona happen later on, thats it... Any ideas ?""

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oregon sr22 insurance quotes

Why do sompanies like State Farm require you to pass a credit check?

What are they looking for because I do have a few things like a medical bill here and there but nothing more than 5,000 total""

Do i need car insurance in my name?

My brother and me are sharing a car, I just got my license and my mom says i dont need to worry because the insurance covers the car not the driver, i live in texas, is this true?""

Whats the cheapest car insurance in ME?

Mazda RX7 1986 23yo driver no lapse have a wet and reckless from california. Need cheapest Liability coverage

Will my insurance rates raise?

its been a little over 4 months since ive had my at fault accident and my insurance hasnt gone up.I have allstate and the accident forgiveness doesnt apply to california yet,so will they ever raise my rates or is it just going to stay the same?""

How much is insurance for 2008 bentleyy?

DO they Ask How you Got the money if you buy it just wondering thats my dream car lol

Motorcycle insurance rate estimation?

I want basic liability insurance for a lower cc Honda Phantom, 700 cc tops. I am a 21 year old male who committed a DUI 2.5 years ago and is now alcohol-free. For that reason, I feel ...show more""

Do I need Car Insurance to drive with a learners permit?

i live in Pennsylvania, i was told that i do not need car insurance to drive with a learners permit and i am 16. can anybody confirm, disprove, and/or explain more in depth?""

Insurance costs for a 1999 ford mustang gt?

I am just wondering what the insurance cost would be for a 1999 ford mustang gt would be for a 17 year old male. I get a's and b's on my report cards. Also, would the insurance costs for a 1999 ish Ford Mustang base(not gt or cobra) be lower? Thanks, Alec""

Would abortion be commonplace and covered by insurance if men got pregnant?

I think it would be.

Young drivers car insurance?

Okay i know this has probably been asked alot but here here it is, im 19 and passed my test last month, ive been searching round on some sites but cant find anything for under 5000. Does anybody know what car is cheapest and through which insurer?""

""Insurance question I need help with, any help would be great?""

I need some help here... The question is Hans sells his car to Pieter and now has no car and no need of auto insurance. Hans calls his State Farm agent to tell him to transfer his auto insurance to Pieter. The agent tells Hans: A. The transfer will not take place until that night at 12:01 AM B. That Hans will need to put Pieter on his policy as an additional driver C. That Hans must keep paying the premium until the end of the policy period. D. That he cannot transfer the policy to Pieter. E. None of the above. Im pretty sure B and C are incorrect, but otherwise I have no clue. Any help would be greatly appreciated!""

Tell me how it is right that insurance companies charge young adult males more than female for car insurance?

The answer I seem to get is it can be statistically proven that males are more aggressive,speed and get into more accidents. That may be the case, but I am sure you can prove that a particular ethnicitiy gets into more accidents too, or that people with a particular eye color get into more accidents or that people with an IQ below 100 get into more accidents. So why don't they charge them more for car insurance too? You can say insurance companies have the right to charge more if an event is more likely to happen, like Earthquake insurance is more expensive in California than it is in Michigan. The difference there is that when you charge Californians more there, you are basing it on an uncontrollable act of nature that is almost certain to happen, but when you charge that male more for car insurance you are making judgements about a person's character, making assumptions about his future behavior and financially punishing him for it before he has even done anything. Tell me where I am wrong""

Can you switch car insurance companies easily?

I bought a car last night and am picking it up today in Nova Scotia. I called around to a number of companies for insurance and got a quote that seemed reasonable. I went down today and signed the paperwork and was given the temporary insurance card and they faxed paperwork to the dealership and the dealership to them and it is all worked out. However I got a call back a few hours later from another broker quoting me a lot less. I had her verify with the company and they said yes. But I have already signed the other stuff. The one I have now is going to be monthly and the first payment should not come out till about the 15th and be the first and last payment for the month. if I switch and they have already taken the payment do I get the last month back? Can I pretty much switch at any time? Anyone know how that works? I'm a newbie at buying a vehicle an thought I had done my homework but apparently not.

""Free/Cheap health insurance for low income in LONG ISLAND, NY?""

I am 19 years old and i go to school part time, so i am not able to get my moms insurance, and i also work but dont get insurance there either. I come from a low income family, so i ...show more""

Looking for a car around $6000?

so im looking for a car that i can make my baby and put some time in to.. not looking for a full restore project. needs to driveable when i need it to. i have 6000 to spend and really want awd. stock turbo or supercharger would be a plus but not a must. would love to have an audi a4 but a little worried about how much the maintenance and insurance will cost me. cars that i have been thinking about instead honda accord coupe vw jetta/passet/golf nissan maxima ford mustang v8 (of course) acura tl/rsx toyota celica Mitsubishi Eclipse gsx any input to help make up my mind would be nice

How much would a new driver expect to pay for their car insurance (UK)?

I'm 16 and will soon begin driving lessons, and every company I go to online to find a quote asks for my name and address, and until I need the insurance i'm not going to enter them. Does anyone have an idea how much a 17 year old would expect to insure a first car (something small like a Vauxhall Corso, Renault Clio et al)?""

Have car insurance prices gone up in the past few months?

Hello About 3 months ago i looked for car insurance prices for my myself as an additional driver on my parents car and was getting quoted prices for 1300 ish, now i looked again this morning and they are more like 1700-2500 what has happen ? I dont get why they would fluctuate this much, any ideas ?""

Isn't $300/mo TOO much for car insurance?

So my BF is planning on purchasing his first car, a 2012 Honda Civic EX Coupe, and he's trying to get a plan with USAA, but the quote says he'll be paying 300 monthly for insurance which is basically another car payment. What's the deal?""

""A car hit our car, but doesn't have insurance.?""

I have liability on that specific car, and comprehensive coverage from AAA on another of my cars. Could I use the comprehensive insurance on my other car, instead of the liability? Also, if not is there any program in California to help us with the loss.""

Car insurance 1st driver uk cheapest & best one to go with.. thanks?

thats all i want to know cheers :)

Motorcycle or Scooter Insurance in London?

How much would the insurance be for a motorcycle or scooter worth less than 4,000GBP in London? I'm hoping that it would be a lot less than a 50cc scooter in Dublin worth about 400GBP costing 200GBP for insurance per year.""

Anyone have Healthy families insurance in California?

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a high deductible kaiser insurance plan. I have a feeling I will end up paying 4500 (my out of pocket max) to give birth. Anyway, I recently found out I qualify for Healthy families insurance for me and the baby, so I applied and waiting to hear back. Just wondering if anyone has their own insurance in addition to healthy families? I wasn't sure if I could have double coverage to get help with the deductible... It's too late for me to change my plan because open enrollment at my work has already passed""

Collingwood Drivers Insurance?

I'm currently looking to get provisional driving insurance with this company and was wondering do I also need a full insurance policy alongside the provisional one with this company, Can not find any information about it thanks""

Why are these insurance policies so different??

I'm currently insured on Yes insurance for a 1.1 litre peugeot 206... I want to change to a 1.8 ford focus and after ringing up the insurers, they claimed it would be an additional 700 on top of my current policy. (if i took out a new policy, it'd be 1800) I then got a whole new quote for elephant.co.uk, who quoted me 900 from new. both are on thid party fire and theft, and both have exactly the same details. Why the 1000 difference?? even on my current insurer who i have been with for 3 months already? thanks""

Good Insurance Policy for Newly Married Couple?

Me and my wife just for married. We are both 21 years of age and are in college. We know what having a good health insurance policy should be our highest priority. Is there any affordable and good insurance policy someone can recommend? Thank you.

oregon sr22 insurance quotes

oregon sr22 insurance quotes

Do you have health insurance?

if so, how much is it per month? how old are you? what kind of deducatbale do you have? feel free to answer also if you do not have insurance? also, do you support obamacare?""

How can a teen get lowered insurance rates on a sports car?

How can a teen get lowered insurance rates on a sports car?

How much is motorcycle insurance?

For an 18 year old male with a streetbike, how much would insurance cost. I am just looking for a range because I plan to get a bike in the future and want to be prepared.""

""Can auto insurance drop you for changing deductible, then filing a claim?""

I have a $1000 deductible, but want to file a claim to get my car fixed from an incident a while ago (like years ago) because I want to sell it for tuition money. No other vehicles, ...show more""

How does car insurance determine how much my insurance will go up?

I was recently involved in a car accident, its my fault, my first time in 15years of driving. They will probably total the other car involved since the car only cost $900 kbb. The damage on my SUV in the lower right bumper, i have little misaligned on my hood and scratch on my headlight, I was thinking of just getting my bumper fixed so it wont cost my insurance company too much. I guess my main question is, does it matter how much my insurance pays for all the damages, is this how they determine how much my insurance premium will go up? will it be the same if i just get everything fixed? thanks""

How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?

How much is car insurance for 16 year old male?

How much would car insurance and tax cost?

I am a 23-year-old female living in a small English town. I have not even had driving lessons yet but I am considering it but first I want to know how much would car insurance and tax cost?

Need a group for medical insurance?

Employer offers very skimpy medical insurance. Individual (i.e., non-group) insurance is very expensive. I have heard that groups have been formed so that members will qualify for group rates. Please tell which groups these are, and what you know about them. Many thanks.""

""Car insurance. I've had two quotes for my new car, one from our existing?""

insurers who we've been with for a loooong time (we have a 9-year NCB for starters), which has come in arond 350. and one from the insurance company attached to the make of my new car which came in almost the same price. On the other hand, I took online quotes which came in from 175.lowest, to 313.highest. I queried this with the second company I've just spoken to to get the free 7-day cover in place, and they told me online companies are cheaper because it's online and you don't speak to 'a person'. Obviously this is a big difference (we are currently paying just over 200 for our car) and I'm now confused about what to do. And frankly who is telling me the truth.""

Do I have to pay higher car insurance if I buy a second car?

I have a Chevy Cobalt and have insurance for it. If I want to buy a used truck also so I have two vehicles, do I have to pay higher car insurance costs? Do I need to get a second policy for the truck?""

Question about Car Insurance? This is crazy!?

I have a question about car insurance. I was recently shopping around for quotes for car insurance. I had gotten an email about Washington Mutual Car Insurance, so I decided to get a quote. I was astounded when they quoted me with $2500 every 6 months or $5,000 a year. I was just completely blown away. My car, a 2004 Nissan Sentra, is barely even worth that much. I called them up and asked why they were quoting me that rate and they said it was because of my age and credit score. I am only 23 and I have really bad credit, but there is NO OTHER insurance company that quoted me a rate anything near as high as that. Progressive quoted me $600 every 6 months or $1200 a year. Geico $613 every 6 months or $1200 a year. Allstate was $1,200 every 6 months or $2,400 a year. And State Farm was $800 every 6 months, $1600 a year. These quotes were all for identical insurance policies. I have never been in an accident, never been arrested, never been given a ticket for ANYTHING. Does age and credit score make that much of a difference? That is insane, no one in their right mind would pay the full value of their car every year in insurance fees. What do you think?""

Car accident insurance wont pay?

Its been about 1 month since the car accident happen a police cruiser tea boned another group of serial killers into a group of cars one car total and others with heavy damage.one of the passengers died two were injured in the crash.we have tried getting a layer but the only thing they say is that they cant really be anything done cause there was a death.we called the insurance but they said that they could not do anything they need it a police report and police wont release the report there because of one death and the case is still under investigation.one month passed we called again and they told us that all of the owners of the cars that were hit had not reported and did not know how to spit what the insurance money covers. now my parents are worried they might not be able to fix there car and not get anything at all we have no idea what to do except keep calling the car insurance.my parents were going to get together with the other drivers to see what they can do. but so far only time has passed and they have not done anything or have gotten anything from the insurance.

What laws in California can a doctor use against me for spending insurance check?

What laws exist in California that a doctor can use against me if I spent the money the insurance sent me for medical services he performed?

How much does motorcycle insurance cost for a teen?

I am currently 15 , next year i will get my liscence and buy a Kawasaki Ninja 250R 2010. I live in Quebec, and I really need an answer, please not just a go get a quote.. just give me a number please!""

What is car insurance priced on in Ireland?

What are all the factors that influence the price of car insurance for drivers in IRELAND.

What is the average first year salary for a State Farm agent?

Are additional commissions paid? If so how are they structured.

How much (approx) would insurance be for a 1.1 saxo?

The exact car is '2000 CITROEN SAXO 1.1I DESIRE BLACK VTR REPLICA' a few modifications (cd player with bluetooth, black front lights, smoked rear lights, front fogs, full colour coded vtr body kit, DTM mirrors, vtr alloy wheels, lowered on 40mm G-max springs) i'm not even 17 yet but i was wondering what would the cheapest possible *(legal) insurance be on this car thanks :) !!""

What would be the cheapest car to buy with good mpg and cheap on insurance?

What would be the cheapest car to buy with good mpg and cheap on insurance?

Where do you normally store your car insurance?

The dilemma: I've always wondered where one would have to store his car insurance and automobile registration in. Say you get into a car accident or a roadblock, you'd have to provide proof that the car that you're in is insured and belongs to you. However, putting your important documents in the glove compartment or even tucked away in the back trunk is always prone to break-ins. So the question is would it be better to keep it in the car or keep it the house (or bank, if you're that paranoid)?""

Long term car rentals vs expensive car insurance?

So about 2 years ago I got hit with a false DWI in NYC (passed breathalyzer test cops still lied and claimed DWI). But that's another story. Currently I purchased a used Landrover Disco 2. Geico gave me a sweet deal @ $1430/6 months until they ran the DMV report and saw my DWI from 2 years ago. Now my 6 month rate is $3700/6 months. That price is completely rediculous and unaffordable (according to my pockets). Therefore, my question, should I just do long term car rental? I mean I have a super sweet discount that rivals employees discounts @ National and Enterprise Rentals. I'm thinking I could just rent on a month to month basis for less than $3700/every 6 months. The added benefits would be new year car models and the option to trade it in for any vehicle I choose for an entire month. Plus the gas would be less than the Landrovers V8 premium requirement. Basically my question is, should I do long term rentals or run myself broke trying to keep up with insurance and gas prices on top of rent and other expenses?""

I can't get affordable health insurance until I lose 20 pounds?

I need to lose 20 pounds so I'm no longer obese. Then I can get into an affordable health payment program. Until then I can't afford insurance so I hope nothing major happens. I've started eating healthy by cutting sweets, fried, processed, junk, and fast foods. Eating lots of fresh fruits and veggies with moderate amounts of whole grains and lean protein. I drink mostly water but will have tea sometimes with a spoonful of honey. For breakfast we have plain oatmeal with fruit but no sugar. My calories are 1300-1600. I'm not very consistent with exercise. I aim for 45-60 minutes of cardio 3-5 times/week and 2-3 strength training sessions each week, but don't always manage all that. So considering that, how soon can I reasonably expect to lose those 20 pounds?""

How much might mototcycle insurance cost a 20 yr old male?

I am getting a SV650, and i neeed motorcycle insurance. but i need to know how much it can cost me at an -Average- for me age. the bike itself cost around 7,000$ and it is a sports bike. any thoughts?""

What is the best way to find cheap auto insurance in california?

What is the best way to find cheap auto insurance in california?

Does anyone know any affordable health insurance for a college student?

Does anyone know any affordable health insurance for a college student?

What insurance company insured the Titanic when it was built?

What company insured the Titanic and how much was paid, and to whom was it paid.""

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oregon sr22 insurance quotes

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-insurance-gonna-cost-15-year-old-who-just-got-harper/"

[chrismaverickdotcom]

I mean... it's Halle Fucking Berry... (a Kidnap Movie review)

So I went and saw Kidnap with Halle Berry earlier today. You’re not going to see this movie, but you probably SHOULD. Let me make it clear. This is not a very good movie. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it is a good movie. It’s not. Let me stress that. It is low on plot, the cinematography is sub-standard. The editing is bad. There’s not much character development. It is ultimately pretty pointless and there are at least half a dozen movies playing in a cinema near you that are better than this. Do I know how to sell these things or what? I’m even going to spoil what little plot there is to the film in this review. It doesn’t matter. Keep reading and then go see it anyway… and I’ll tell you why.

First, I need to rewind a bit and talk about why I decided to see and review so many movies this summer. There are a couple reasons. First of all, I have a movie problem. That is to say, I watch a lot of movies. I spend a lot of money on DVDs and Blurays, I go to the movies a lot! I’m not a rich man… so it’s maybe a problem. I like the motion pictures. I don’t bet on the ponies. I don’t do heroin. I don’t go to hookers. Let me have this… okay?

That’s why I go to the movies a lot, but lets talk about why I’ve been reviewing them so much. A year or so ago, I started writing reviews of some of the movies I saw… just when I had random thoughts on them. I didn’t want to just write “two thumbs up” or “this is awesome.” I only wrote about them when i had something to say. Maybe it’s not obvious because I curse so fucking much, but usually my reviews have some little nugget of literary or cultural theory in them. Basically, in my spare time I like to still do what I do for a living. Partly because I’m a nutcase. But also because I enjoy it. Most of the stuff I was writing about last year were “geek movies.” Your superhero movies and your star wars and the like. Then a couple people started saying they’d like to know my take on other stuff. At first I was a little resistant. I knew I wouldn’t get as much attention for non-blockbusters and at the end of the day, I’m a press whore. Why bother wasting my time writing about things if no one was going to pay attention, right?

Then I started seeing something interesting happening. I got into a couple of random online arguments about the lack of diversity in movies. Why aren’t there more roles for women, especially older ones? Why aren’t there more roles for people of color? Why aren’t there more LGBTQ roles. You get the picture. And at the end of the day, this is true. There is severe underrepresentation in film for non-straight white dudes. This is unequivocally true. There is UNDERREPRESENTATION. But there is not NO representation.

And that’s when I started seeing something interesting that was really happening. I started following a lot of conversations about geek media and blockbusters and seeing a lot of people complaining about whitewashing in films but also people calling for more “Othered” roles. No one ever calls them Othered roles, because that’s an academic word. But that’s what they’re asking for. “Why is Matt Damon in a movie about the Great Wall of China?” “Why is Scarlet Johansson staring in Ghost in the Shell?” “Why can’t there be a female Doctor Who (which there now is)?” “Why can’t their be an Asian Iron Fist (which there isn’t… and I don’t want there to be, but that’s a story for another time)?”  And then in the cases where someone did try to make a more diverse project, I started seeing people complain that it wasn’t good enough. “It’s great that they’re making a Wonder Woman movie, but why’d they have to pick a skinny white model instead of a woman who was tough looking?” “It’s great that they chose a female Doctor Who, but did she have to be white? Maybe next time pick an asian trans woman.” At one point I got into a conversation with someone who tried to convince me that “the world would have been a much better place if a young Denzel Washington would have been cast as Superman back in the 1970s instead of Christopher Reeve.” I said no… it wouldn’t. It would have ruined Denzel’s career (again, an argument or another time).

So I started paying more and more attention to these complaints. As liberal as I am, I’m also pragmatic. I agree with the premise behind those complaints, but I understand the rationality behind why they’re not just fixed too. At the end of the day, show business is still a business. Movies only matter if you can sell tickets to them. And I wanted to understand why other people don’t seem to get that. The going theory that I heard most often is that “it’s because there’s no options. We can’t go see movies with non-straight white dudes because no one makes them.”

Bullshit!

A few months ago, the Academy gave the Best Picture Award to a movie about the struggles of being black and queer. It’s called Moonlight. No one went to see it.

I love a good blockbuster popcorn movie . When I decided I was going to go to the movies at least once a week this summer, I decided I didn’t want to review JUST superhero movies. Even though I knew the blockbusters would be what people were mostly interested in. But since I like other movies besides just the big blockbuster popcorn movies, and since none of you are paying me to go see them, I figured rather than limit myself to them, I’d see the ones that I wanted to see and then on other days I’d see things that just looked interesting to me. Things that were different. And I’m glad I did. Because if my reviews got even one person to see The Big Sick, Baby Driver, or Girls Trip, then it was all worth it (and really, if you did go see one of these movies just because I said, so then I wish you’d let me know. Because again, I’m a press whore. Also tell your friends, goddammit… I’m providing a valuable service. We whores are like that…

ANYWAY!!!! It’s not that there are NO roles outside of straight white dudes. It’s that they don’t get to be in the big movies. The reason Matt Damon and Scarlett Johansson are in The Great Wall and Ghost in the Shell is that those aren’t very good movies. Sometimes when you have a not a very good movie, you toss a bankable movie star in it so that people will go see it anyway. It really doesn’t matter what Matt Damon is in. In the last decade, he has made Jason Bourne movies, Oceans movies and the Martian. And people love those movies…and great. He also bought a fucking zoo (with Scarlet Johansson, no less). And you know what? People still went to go see it. Because it’s Matt Damon and someone will give it a shot even if the concept is really shitty. It just doesn’t matter. By all accounts fans were, at best lukewarm on the most recent Bourne film. They went and saw it anyway. It made $415million on a $120million budget ($26M of which was Damon’s salary). Have you ever seen Lucy with Scarlet Johansson? It is… not good. It’s not horrible… but it’s not by any reasonable usage of the term, “good.” It’s a movie where ScarJo gets to run around and kill people with her brain for 90 min. If that’s what you’re looking for then fine, but it doesn’t even remotely make any sense and has no narrative consistency. Like not even a little. The acting is subpar. The fights aren’t great. The special effects are cheesy. And she’s never even naked in it. But it doesn’t matter. People saw it anyway. It made $463million on a $40million dollar budget. And because they did, ScarJo and Damon get shoved into every movie. It’s all about return on investment.

This week’s big blockbuster opening is The Dark Tower. I’ve never read any of the books, so I’m not a built in fan, and other than Idris Elba’s voiceover, the trailers really didn’t look any good (and the reviews are kind of backing that up) so I had no desire to go see it. Again, totally willing to review it… you know… like if someone paid me… whore and all that… What I really wanted to see this week was Detroit, but Steph wants to see that too, so I’m waiting for her. So I decided to go take a chance on Kidnap at a $5 matinee, because even though it didn’t look super good, the trailer kind of intrigued me. Besides, I figured if nothing else, it had Halle Berry in it. And if nothing else, that’s always worth at least a look. Why? Because she’s Halle Fucking Berry, that’s why!

This is what I like to call an extended trailer movie. Have you seen the trailer? If not, here it is.

Now you know the whole story. That’s it. That’s the whole movie. The film is exactly what you see in the trailer for 95 minutes instead of two. Halle Berry is a single mom. Five minutes into the film someone kidnaps her son, so she hops into her car and chases them for the next ninety minutes. She will stop at nothing to get back her child. That’s it. That’s all there is. Nothing else! Spoiler alert, she gets him back at the end. Surprised? I didn’t think so. Now you know everything. Nothing else happens — seriously! There are literally no surprises.

And it’s fine. It really is. It’s not super engaging, but I liked it. It doesn’t have the best production value. No one in it is really interesting. There’s no reason for this movie to exist at all. But it’s kind o fun. If it sounds like you recognize the story, it’s because you do. It’s exactly the same plot as Taken (which one? all of them). But Taken was exactly the same movie as Ransom. In fact this exact movie has been made like 100 times. The twist in this case is that unlike Liam Neeson, she doesn’t have a particular set of skills. She’s just a mom. Don’t fuck with a mom’s kid! That’s the movie. That’s it!

As I said, there are problems with it. The production value is super low for a Hollywood release like this. It’s only $20million. And sometimes you can tell. Not only is the camerawork, directing and film editing substandard, there are some clear choices made to conserve budget. Given the concept, one might expect that there’s going to be a lot car crashes during a movie that essentially has an hour long car chase. And there are. You see them in the trailer. But crashing cars is expensive. So there’s lot of times where car crashes happen and you just don’t see them. Cars will swerve, you’ll see Berry look out the window and then turn away only to hear a “car crash” that is never actually shown. This happens SEVERAL TIMES.

But it’s not awful. The thrill of the chase is there (I mean, all it is is a chase). The simple storyline gives you a reason to care (a cute little kid is kidnapped). The editing and camerawork aren’t really any worse than Taken (I mean, I love those movies… but the camerawork is shit… and 27 cuts to get Liam Neeson over a fence?!?!? are you shitting me?). In fact, the idea is interesting… and for all its faults, Halle Berry is an Academy Award winning actor (something neither Damon or ScarJo can say) for a reason. She’s good in this… she’s quite believable. It’s not her best role ever, but it certainly isn’t her worst. The woman made Catwoman for HOVA’s sake, and she’s in Movie 43, which is so abysmal that I’d be amazed if anyone reading this other than me has ever seen it. She’s a good actress and at 50 still beautiful enough that even with Hollywood sexism she can play a believable action star (Neeson was 56 in the first Taken). Most of the faults of this movie could have been fixed an additional $20million of budget.

Only that’s never going to happen because no one is actually interested in seeing movies like this starring black fifty year old black women, no matter what their acting pedigree. And there is the flaw. Do you know how I know? Because the film is also basically the same movie as The Call, which also starred Berry, four years ago, and at $68million dollars, it was considered a blazing success. It far outperformed expectations., and is still way under what a flop makes with a bankable white actor.

At a 40% on Rotten Tomatoes, the film has mediocre-at-best reviews. But so does pretty much every film in this genre including Taken (at 58%). In fact, the Taken sequels are at 21% and 11% respectively. The Call made 44%. They’re all the same movie. The concept just is what it is. This is not going to win any awards. But it turns out I kind of like car chase movies and kidnap movies and for 95 solid minutes, I was definitely entertained.

So if you’re a fan of the kidnap movie genre or the car chase movie genre, then this is pretty much exactly what you’re looking for. Minus a few car explosions — But with the addition of a black actress protagonist over the age of thirty.

So I ask you, what is it you really want? Diversity or explosions?

★★☆☆☆+💁🏾 (2 out of 5 stars, plus Halle Fucking Berry!)

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I mean… it’s Halle Fucking Berry… (a Kidnap Movie review) was originally published on ChrisMaverick dotcom