#i think that helped me stay focused
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a late celebration to them reaching 1000 subs (theyre at 3.3k now lmao)
#oriondraw#dooblenauts#art#illustration#artists on tumblr#vtuber#vtubers#vtuber art#vtuber fanart#eve orion#vega orion#my art#what else do i tag im going insane#this didnt take as long as i expected to finish#am i getting quicker with drawing??? me??? idk i had fun though#fuck drawing hands though that shit drove me nuts#also streamed drawing this on youtube#i think that helped me stay focused#idk its fun to draw on stream. its a nice chill vibe with spotify ads sometimes#ANYWAY i need to figure out what to work on now#i have such a backlog of things i want to draw
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30 second MS Paint self portrait but my director pointed out that i always start every meeting doing this and said that my energy is admirable and something to aspire towards. and i'm documenting this because i genuinely think a part of my brain is subconsciously being influenced by HIM
#horrible angle for the screenshot but it gets the point across#which. it is really funny they never really reanimated this intro beyond giving it color#i mean they do reanimate it for the 1938 season and onward because the previous iteration is scary. scary Porky. but i've always been so#focused on how the voice stayed the same that i never realized just how primitive the animation#particularly the motion is in itself#the ending pose which is the most memorable is fine but the actual motion.. the perspective is all wrong the effects are rudimentary#the drawings are spaced way too evenly and there are too many it feels stiff and floaty#and i mean i'm not knocking it but i'm saying this mroeso because it's fascinating#you can tell they were still learning and traversing this very new medium of animation#and the standard of animation rose so drastically throughout the years it's very funny they kept this 1937-1938 era animation tacked onto#the end of every LT (not Merrie Melody) up to mid 1946 or so which is such a drastically different landscape#i think the switch to color helped make it look fresher and newer but it is amusing to me seeing how primitive the animation is in comparis#n. anyway.
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GT Writing/Reading Question
Ive been writing GT stories for some time now, and reading them for much much longer, so I'm curious what the consensus of this topic is (my opinion and reasons in the tags if you're curious)
#Opinions ahead!!!#don't read until you answer the question#i dont want to influence your answer!#okay#personally i don't really include to many details when writing gt stories#or any story really for that matter#I rather focus on the interactions and showing what is happening#instead of focusing on the ways the characters hair flows in the cold spring wind#or the way the trees were wet with dew after the light downpour of the afternoon#I still include details when i feel they are necessary and HELP to further the experience#but i feel that a lot of the time these details are just fluff#and not the good kind#the kind that slows down pacing and makes it harder to stay focused#this is obviously my personal opinion but unless a GT story is truly truly captivating me i usually will skip over the super fine details#I often find myself skipping around to the dialogue of the story#I think details that describe the setting and like situation are totally fine and ADD to the story#and I love it then but i feel a lot of times it is just wasting the readers time#I don't wanna waste yalls time i want you to enjoy my story to the fullest#soooo yeah#I like detail but using it sparingly is a virtue IMO#very curious about the general consensus because i feel like this is an unpopular opinion on GT tumblr
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I always think about how in multiple episodes it's basically canon that Blanche is bi but considers dating women to be more hassle (which is a whole rabbit hole to go down - does she struggle with societal homophobia when she's with women? Has she only been with fellow high maintenance femmes when shes really after a Dorothy type? Has she internalized the idea that her attraction to women isn't 'real'? Her reaction to Clayton adds to these questions). Not to mention how this goes together with her relationships with the girls; making to kiss Rose that one time (and Rose multiple times seeming very aware of Blanche's proclivities), begging Dorothy for 'relief' and being convinced she's attracted to women too.
Yes, anon! It’s really interesting to delve into Blanche’s psyche about all this stuff!
I started writing down my thoughts and ended up with a long ramble -- allow me to place it all under a cut, so I don't clog up anyone's dash, haha.
Personally, I think she has some strong mental blocks when it comes to her sexuality because of the way she was brought up. I mean, she grew up in Atlanta approx in the 1930s/1940s — I’m sure I don’t have to detail the kind of casual bigotry she must have seen around her during her formative years! Just look at the story she recounts in S1E13 A Little Romance:
“Now, you have to understand that in those days in the South a lot of things were still taboo. Certain people were not to mix. So Benjamin and I had to meet in secret. Oh, we knew if any of the bigots in town found out about us, there’d be a terrible scandal.”
And all of this because Benjamin was a yankee… can you imagine what ‘the bigots in town’ thought about homosexuality? Yeah, I’m pretty sure Blanche learned to suppress that part of herself very early on. We know she turns to denial when she’s faced with uncomfortable truths and emotions she can’t deal with, so I think she likely just refuses to acknowledge that part of herself most of the time, and it only comes out (pun intended!) when she’s not paying much attention to things, or when there’s something more important going on. See the two examples you point out: when she tries to kiss Rose she’s concerned with not being kissed at midnight, and when she propositions Dorothy she’s, well… she’s desperate to get some, if we can be frank.
When she’s in a more rational state, her reactions tend to be more measured… but not by much. She does advise Rose not to date women (S3E10 The Audit):
“Oh, no, honey, don’t do that! No job is worth having to date women!”
But she’s also really flattered at receiving lots and lots of phone calls from women, after her appearance as a ‘lesbian’ on TV (S7E15 Goodbye, Mr Gordon):
“By the way, Dorothy, if I were a lesbian, I sure would be a popular one. Look at this, 20 calls.”
And of course we can’t forget her reaction to finding out that Jean has a crush on Rose in S2E5 Isn’t It Romantic?:
“Jean has the hots for Rose? I don’t believe it, I do not believe it! […] To think Jean would prefer Rose over me? That’s ridiculous! […] Now you tell me the truth: if you had to pick between Rose and me, who would you pick? Who?”
All of these are (likely) intended to be jokes about her vanity and her libertine nature (in the same way as Rose’s observations are), but considering a lot of the writers of this show were queer themselves, it wouldn’t seem strange to me if they were intentionally peppered in to suggest that Blanche might be a bisexual in denial. It certainly fits her character!
I haven’t spoken about her reaction to Clayton’s coming out yet, but that’s immensely interesting too, of course. I think Blanche has the same attitude towards homosexuality that I see in a lot of (mostly older) people in my Country nowadays: it’s fine as a general concept, but when it comes to her family (or, God forbid, herself) then the problems come out. See for example what she says about Jean:
“Well, I’ll never understand what Jean doesn’t see in the opposite sex, but if that makes her happy, that’s fine by me!”
Which isn’t a homophobic attitude at all! If anything, if you take her upbringing into account, it’s pretty accepting. But then, when Clayton comes out to her (S4E9 Scared Straight) and tells her he wants to get married (S6E14 Sister Of The Bride), this is what she says:
“Oh, Clayton, please be serious. You're just saying that so I won't set you up with any more women. […] Well, then you're saying it 'cause you're trying to get back at me for something. Clay, I know you too well for this. After all, I know it can't be true. You're my brother. […] Clayton Hollingsworth. You look me in the face and tell me you really are… what you just said you are.”
“I'm having a little trouble putting this all together. Clayton, I just feel like I don't know you anymore.”
“[…] Dorothy, that's different. We're talking about going out in public. Oh, what are people gonna say?”
“Will you tell me why you want to put yourself and Doug through this? You know how people can be.”
“Oh, look, I can accept the fact that he's gay, but why does he have to slip a ring on this guy's finger so the whole world will know?”
Quite the difference from her attitude towards Jean, wouldn’t you say? I think there’s three elements at play here.
1) When Clayton comes out to Blanche, she feels disoriented because this is life-changing information Clayton has never shared with her before. While her reaction as a whole isn’t ideal, personally I think it’s understandable. Clayton is her baby brother; she’s known him as straight all his life, he’s been married to a woman for years before his divorce, and she recounts an episode from their adolescence when he was on a date with a woman and very clearly implicated having a physical encounter with her. He's done everything in his power to pass as straight until this point in time -- I don't find it strange that Blanche would be shocked at his coming out, especially given her upbringing (and the fact that this is set in the 80s! We can't expect modern sensibilities from the characters!). Once again, her reaction isn't the best (she can't even bring herself to say the word 'gay' at first...), but the shock per se isn't that surprising, imho.
2) Blanche is scared because of societal implications above all. She doesn't necessarily see being queer as something wrong, but she's been taught it's not socially acceptable and acts accordingly. Notice how she's worried about what people are going to say, and she struggles to accept that Clayton wants the whole world to know about his relationship with Doug.
Societal expectations in general are a big theme for Blanche's character, and often drive her development; another big example of this is her attitude towards Rebecca's decision to get artificially inseminated, but it's a bit of a baseline issue for her, I feel. She has this whole thing about her beauty and her (supposed) youth and her attractiveness that has some inherent elements, but it's mostly an issue of how other people perceive her, I think, and her response to her brother's coming out is easy to relate to this theme. I mean, she even says it to Rose in S7E15:
"Well, I don't mind being labeled a lesbian, honey, but since I'm not, you just ruined my social life."
So yeah. I think it's safe to say her main concern is societal disapproval of queerness: she wants to be accepted and celebrated by the people around her, and she thinks that being openly queer will destroy her place in her social circle (and she's worried about the same happening to Clayton too, of course).
3) This is sort of related to point 2, but it felt distinct enough to treat it separately. I think she might have reacted so badly to Clayton's coming out (and especially to his showing up with a partner) because he's open about his sexuality, and she's not ready to face what that means for her. My lovely mutual @\hecatesbroom recently published her latest amazing work the odd one(s) out, on the relationship between Dorothy and her brother Phil and how Phil's open queerness might have impacted Dorothy; I think a similar situation might have occurred between Blanche and Clayton after his coming out.
Blanche has a sort of advantage on Dorothy because of her bisexuality, in the sense that she has 'passing privilege' (I really dislike this concept, but allow me to use it to make a point): it's painfully clear that she loved her late husband with all her heart, and she's obviously attracted to men as well, so she can pretend not to like women without too much of a hassle (whereas, if you believe Dorothy to be a repressed lesbian, her situation is much more complicated).
The issue with this is that this 'advantage' is a double-edged sword: she might have the comfort of being socially acceptable, but she's had to suffocate a big part of herself to obtain that comfort. And so, what happens when Clayton -- her baby brother Clayton, the one who's always been just like her, who's grown up with her same environment and influences -- begins openly living as a gay man? I'm sure the situation must have had a strong impact on her, even if just on a subconscious level; I've always found it curious that she seems to have a harder time accepting Clayton in S6E14 than she does in S4E9 (she even calls his sexuality a phase), and while a part of it may be attributed to the higher social exposure Clayton's commitment to Doug brings, I think this may be a result of her inner conflict, provoked by watching her brother live openly while she's been suppressing a part of herself all her life.
Here I'm assuming she's never acted upon her attraction to women before, but there's some space to believe she has done so and has decided it's too much of a hassle, as you say -- likely because she'd for sure do it in secret, given her fear of societal condemnation. If she has been with women before, and decided to give up on it, I still think she'd be greatly impacted by Clayton's coming out: it means her baby brother is a) braver than she is, and b) going to openly face (and likely suffer because of) the same social issues she's run away from. In this lens, I find it interesting that she cautions him about how people can be, almost as if they've both experienced it.
Whew. Wow, this was a lot more than I'd originally meant to write, haha! Seems you sparked a big train of thought, anon! I think all of the Girls (with the possible exception of Sophia) are really fascinating to analyze with a queer lens, and Blanche is always interesting to me, of course. As a final note, I'd like to point out that she does come around to Clayton's sexuality and his relationship, in the end: as often happens, she just needs the Girls' help to put things back in perspective, understand she's hurting someone she loves, and correct her actions. I'd like to think living with the Girls might lead to her becoming more accepting of herself, too.
#this was so much fun!! you helped me pass the time on about two and a half hours of train rides anon :)#this is... Long lmao. but are we surprised? i always end up talking at length#and this subject is Very interesting to me for obvious reasons so...#there's a lot more that could be said i think. all her homoerotic moments with the girls?#dancing with rose? playing pretend with dorothy?#and all the times sophia jokes about them? 'you couldn't stay in the closet for one more day'?#all fascinating stuff no matter how you look at it#i really think her homophobia stems from societal expectations honestly. she *never* expresses the opinion that being gay is wrong per se#she doesn't think it's unnatural or against god or anything like that. the worst thing she says is that 'phase' comment imho#she thinks it's *socially unacceptable*. which is a whole different thing#and considering blanche's whole thing with being accepted by society i feel like a queer in denial storyline really fits her character#like. think of even just this:#blanche devereaux. known for being libertine and unashamed of her sexuality (to the point of being labelled 'a slut').#often described as 'selfish' and 'self-centered'. focused on satisfying her desires and wishes at all times#this woman? having to deny a part of said desires for her entire life? the contrast is DELICIOUS to me#this big fear of societal disapproval was the angle i went with for my blanche/rose fic! it was set at the end of s2#so this was really all i could explore. but it would have been fun to throw clayton into the mix#i really think seeing him be so open about himself had a profound effect on her#oh look at me rambling in the tags too haha. excellent observations anon! thank you for sending this ask!#if you have any more thoughts i'd love to read them!!#oh and also -- when does blanche say she thinks dorothy's attracted to women?#i don't remember it and i'm *very* curious about it#the golden girls#blanche devereaux#golden wives#ask
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hey um not to be parasociall but how did the meeting with your advisor go???? also would it be possible for you to switch advisors/program or something so you can change your research interests if that's the issue? Im a doctoral student as well so I get how tricky that stuff can be depending on your program.... Anyway I hope things better for you xoxo
Lol, ur fine! It went alright
#basically i just told him ive been paralyzed from working on my project out of fear from what happened when i had a breakdown in april#which is true but is still an incomplete picture of whats happening. and he was like yeah thats understandable. let me kno what i can do to#help. so that was good. tho he did look a bit deer in headlights lol#and ive started reading project relevant papers again and i understand what theyre saying which is good#i feel like im behind where i should b but im also like: ok right i do actually think this is interesting. evolution is sick as fuck#but i wouldnt want to switch advisors bc hes like one of 2 bacteria ppl in the department#i would have to go to a different school to do what i want with eps. either like a industry focused lab interested in slime as#like a thickener. which sounds boring. or go back to my old boss who is desert ecology focused#its just a matter of: do i really want to b an Evolutionary microbiologist? a very academic job? or do i want a job that's just a job?#and like maybe to stay with cyanos i would have to leave and then go back to school to focus on toxic algal blooms#then i could probably get water quality jobs. but like would that b fulfilling? idk. it just sucks#bc i fit in so well with my lab interest wise. its just a matter of whether or not i want my Job to b my whole life#unrelated
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reiju's situation is awful, but i think it gets even worse when you realize that in fascist states, not only are women generally deemed lesser than men, but also the role of women is primary to be child-bearers and caretakers. germa...... doesn't need that due to its cloning technology.
so, not only does reiju's name have レイ rei 'zero' in it, so she literally Doesn't Count! not only is she not first in line for the throne, because judge has three other sons! but the only position she would normally be allowed to occupy(?) in society is useless, bordering on non-existent. like her only option is to keep doing what she's doing as a mercenary/soldier. at any point, judge could decide he needs her as a political pawn, or even worse: another source for genetic experiments (or both! at once!) and she Cannot Say No
#like no wonder she decided she needs to protect herself above everything because thats fucking horrific#once again: i hate judge!!! im going to beat him to death with a baseball bat!!!!! a metal pipe!!! a comically large hammer!!!!#i need sanji to stay away from his sibling but can someone else help them please.#on one hand i think this draft is stronger if it focuses on both ichiji and reiju and allows their specific issues to play off each other#in a way that makes it more targeted. on the other hand. i REALLY dont want it to read like im using reiju to prop up ichiji#like i think someone should kill me for real if that happens#L.txt#L.wip#one piece#vinsmokes
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bahhhh okay sorry 2 make it CALLIST0 tuesday 2 weeks in a row instead of CALLIST0 monday but this update is just ending up longer/more involved than i expected and i'm not getting the panels done tonight!! 😵 it's underway tho and i'm stoked
#i do think updating once a week works better than sporadically so far tho. for sure#it helps me stay focused too rather than getting carried away and working feverishly on the quest (at the expense of other stuff)-#bc when i get the itch later in the week i can gently remind myself i already did it and the plan is to wait til next week to go again#it's gonna make the plot move way way slower but i think it makes things way more sustainable in the long run :D
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Trying not to make sweeping judgements and decisions while sleepy.
#struggling#-pers#reminding myself either way my country is crashing further into hell soon so i am more desperate for money at the expense of whatever#than i think i am#also things are an adjustment 2 days isnt enough some of the stuff pissing me off is intermittent some temporary#also 2 days straight of terrible body image days arent helping i just want to stay in my apt 😔#plus the whole sleeping bad the last two nights#okay yeah i need to chill out this is not me at my best actually#-vent#i worked out and had tea and feel kinda better i really need to go back to focusing on not thinking the first couple hours that i am awake#that is drama baby lue and they need to shut the fuck up. sadly my partner was around for that and me flipping out too i apologized but#that is no way for him to start his day i need to get it together jesus 😔
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I need to draw my rook bc I actually do have some ideas for them I just. Have NOT been in a creating mood idk I'm so tired... Aoughgggh
#crow rambles#i want to write and i want to draw and i want to do a million things and i am doing NONE of them...#insane... crazy even...#like. i have several fic ideas i wanna write (nothing new there) but i am not writing them#i. well i dont have any art ideas now but i WANNA draw but ohh. hard :(#i think i may be having a little creative burnout... give me like four days ill be back on my game#i can never stay away from art for too long. i get itchy if i dont draw for a few days#longest ive went without drawing in the past like. decade. has been a week and that was when i got covid#my ass can NOT put the pencil down#i do want to get some of my rook ideas into fic bc i think it may help me flesh them out a little bit#while i do have a lot of criticisms of dav i kinda wanna stop focusing on them so much#bc i KNOW ive been posting about them alot on here#and while i don't think the game SHOULDNT be criticized (it definitely should) i dont want to be solely negative on it#bc i actually did have fun playing it#and i want to reflect it in my posts lmao#however. i love bitching. i am so good at bitching#its a competitive sport and im winning. top tier bitcher thats me#idk i should probably replay the game bc its always easier to make a protagonist for a dragon age game once you know the plot#but also i want to finish my dao replay... and replay da2... and finish my dai replay i never finished lmao#im at the landsmeet in dao so it shouldnt be much longer. i plan on skipping the golems dlc this go round bc i dont really like it and it#doesnt add very much to the plot imo. everytime i play it i get pissy over the harvester. fucking AWFUL boss#tried killing it on hard mode. once. i am never doing that shit again i HATEEEE that stupid thing#<- by landsmeet i meant i am doing the denerim quests right before the landsmeet. im just before the whole 'anora got locked up' thing#am NOT looking forward to the alienage... idk i really want go get to witch hunt 😭😭
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For the love of all things beyond human comprehension can someone please please just tell me what is wrong with my brain and why I act and think like this and why nobody has ever thought I’m normal except when they’re trying to deny that there’s something wrong
#cyberr speaks#vent#rant#brain#there is something wrong with me#✨psychologically✨#and I need help that I will never get#gods I just want to know what it is#I’m so tired of always playing this guessing game#of#‘is my inability to keep my room tidy just laziness or a mental block of some kind’#of ‘why can’t I just stay focused for one second’#of ‘oh hell I just zoned out’#of ‘I’ve been surpressing this thing for so long that I no longer know if it’s a real thing i experience#or if I’m just making it up’#of ‘is this a melt down or I’m really just that weak as to cry all the time’#of ‘why am#getting these thoughts. they’re not me’#of ‘why aren’t I like them. why don’t people like me. why can’t I just act like them. why do they think I’m weird. what’s wrong with me’#what’s wrong with me#always the same question#over and over and over and over#and over#again
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Remembered I have an Eyebrow Wound rn and honestly. Hfkshfks I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I hope they don't comment on it 😭😭😭 like pay no attention to the gash on my eyebrow or my slightly raw nose. Don't even worry about it.
#speculation nation#nose thing is. well. my dermatillomania has been acting up this past week.#i think it's starting to calm down at least 🤔 but my nose skin is a Little Bit Raw still.#oh well. im actually not entirely sure what to say at the appointment. bc it's about the adhd meds#whether i stay on this dosage or adjust it or switch to something else entirely.#like my side effects have gone down a lot. outside of that one bad headache event last week it's been Fine ??#honestly i barely feel it now. which. is kind of also a concern.#like theres maybe a slight brain squeeze but otherwise i dont know if it really has helped me with focusing.#certainly hasnt helped me with my executive dysfunction. but idk if a different medication Would help with that.#i guess itll be a conversation to have with the psychiatrist tomorrow. hopefully she can help me figure it out.
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Heya! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
well, i didn't cry today (and more importantly didn't cry at work in front of everybody) so I'm taking that as a sign that things are getting better...I hope 😅
#suuuuuuuuuuper awkward moment when i just started crying yesterday as one of my employees came up to me#(not one of the ones who went to HR)#and she was like 'uhm are you okay' and then i just told her to ask me what she needed to ask me lmao#god i'm just so embarassed that i cried so much this week#esp cause like. i hope it's not some sort of idk defense mechanism?#like did i just start busting out crying cause oh no my boss found out i'm not doing my job so i'm just gonna cry so she doesn't yell at me#or something like that and then keep crying to garner pity#cause that's certainly not my intention at all#i know i fucked up. badly. i'm not donig the job i SHOULD be doing#and was focusing on things i shouldn't focus on...especially like having my techs do their actual jobs#but that's my fault for not laying down the law#for not training them right in the first place for not giving them the proper expectations of what their job entails#but then they're crying that they're overwhelmed which hurts to hear when i see them disappearing just to come back with a cup of coffee#or talking to people across the building when there's no reason for them to be up there#or sitting on their phones while things pile up to be done#and then like my boss is now jumping in and is going to meet with them next week#and inserting herself and two of my other co-workers into the picture to help#which like yeah i need help. a lot of help. but they all have their own jobs#hell there's things my boss does really i should probably be doing#so knowing all of that and again just feeling like a failure at my job makes me feel even worse#like i'm not carrying my weight for the team--i've honestly never felt i have since i became supervisor#i don't think i'm meeting the expectations as a supervisor#as a tech? yeah i was a BEAST and maybe should have never applied for the supervisor job#and i even already told my boss long term career? def not in management for me lol and if i can get out of the supervisor job i will#but i would still want to stay with my boss and co-workers cause we're all trauam bondeded at this point from this workplace#but hey if the worst thing that comes out of this crisis is me getting fired for not doing my job maybe it'll be for the best#..........that's not making me feel any better though
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Ive been thinking about writing something for seojun from true beauty but i need to focus on what i got rn… idek if anyone would even be interested in it😭
#nonenoticedmvo#true beauty#han seojun#x male reader#please help me i cant stay focused on one thing for more than one minute#i need to work on what i have rn but i keep thinking about seojun idk why bro…
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I highly suggest writing fanfic on the clock it’s great
#I’ve already got a fair bit written#I think it helps that I can’t really go anywhere lmao#I have to stand here the whole time and it helps me stay focused on my writing
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#when will i stop staying awake for 30+ hours at a time i am surely causing irreparable damage to my brain#i say this like it's a choice the reality is i blink and whole days have passed when my dissociation is especially bad#i feel so far from everything it all feels wrong and unfamiliar then again that feeling itself is familiar#might put on that james spader audiobook on low volume (low enough volume that i don't start focusing on his voice and keeping myself awake#in the process......)#maybe that'll help maybe it'll make it worse#i have a habit when listening to it where i'll hear him say a certain thing and think i Have to write down a timestamp to go back#to it haha#and that would keep me awake#i almost started a fire earlier accidentally while testing out one of those big ol tv's from the aforementioned (like a month ago) moldy#house down the street#the second i switched the power on it started popping and zapping at me and i swear i smelled smoke so i panicked and unplugged#it and lugged it outside and now i'm paranoid that somehow a slowly burning internal fire will start while i am asleep and spread from the#porch to the house. i mean not Start but Continue. if there is one to continue somewhere in there.......#it's a solemn life i lead#i need to try to sleep now. so i can wake up#so on and so forth#i need to purchase a fire extinguisher.
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Scheming…
#chattin#taking time to draw and write out a relationship/dynamics chart for the thieves and assorted friends#bc theres. alot. and it would be nice to write it out. it would help establish my thoughts about them#its not poly/thieves but its. kind of adjacent to it. but its less shippy and more focused on how they interact-#-and behave with one another. like theyre kinda bonded together over everything. lines get a little blurred but its what works for them#and i think lumping them all together as poly/thieves is a shortcut for breaking down their character#like obv akira has diff relationships for everyone; but how do THOSE people react to others ??#like pego/ryu is real and true but also ann is absolutely there. u cannot separate them.#theyre the shujin delinquents to me LOL. they are too tightly bound together to let any external relationship split them at this point#akiras not w goro; its akira AND ryuji w goro. like akira and goro would just not work; but ryuji make its work well yknow?#goro doesnt get third wheeled w ann and vice versa bc ann and goro are good friends; they just hang :)#its like. if u could SEE the fucking string of connections making a mess of my white board in my minds eye…😭#so im trying to write it down into something that works for me#i dunno. i think its fun :) i did this for ffxv too#only that was way easier bc its just the four of them. but like. how do their internal relationships affect the overall polycule ?#anyway. inspired by that love post; that theres diff kinds of love. and kiss ryuji week LOL#bc i wanted to write a small thing with different thieves for each prompt#and im like how would their relationships differ from one another ?#ryuji and akira but also ryuji with makoto. ryuji w haru. ryuji w yusuke. its like.#u cant use the same thing from most pego/ryu fics bc they DIDNT meet the same way#waugh.#rambling#just know that im insane. i have all these wips and nothing FINISHED. waaa.#this is what that post meant about being obsessed over bad media LMAO. this is just what happens#u stay up thinking about fake polycules from a game that came out seven years ago#i think….#WHAT. 2016???#EIGHT years ???#funny bc i was thinking about how ffxv was eight yesrs old and i am still a mess over it#well. could u imagine if i played p5 when it LAUNCHED instead of in 2020???
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