#i think that action intent is important though it does not absolve them

[littledoggy-girlcollar]

sorry wait didn’t cinderella literally say in her first meeting w rosamund “do not take the crimes of those who have manipulated us and put them at the feet of the world” like bitch! what are you doing!

[yukisohmasmokesweed]

what are your opinions on the thought process that Shigure groomed Akito so he could have control over them?

i think this opinion is a massive oversimplification of akito and shigure's power dynamic that has roots in the latent sexist idea that men inherently have power over women, as well as the heteronormative idea that love between a man and a woman is inherently romantic.

first off, i think it's a pretty bizarre assumption that a child could have the wherewithal and foresight to enact a complex series of actions that relies on the aggressor having a working knowledge of children's needs and behavior and years of planning and execution. people like to cite shigure's childhood declaration that he "...want[s] to make that [love] last forever...to give it form and make it [his]" as a statement of intent to groom and control. not only is this an absurd thing to say about a child who can't be any older than 10, it disregards two vital facets of akito and shigure's relationship: the magic in combination with shigure's own trauma. in my opinion, these lines speak to the power of the bond and how shigure interprets it. hatori and ayame reject it, the former letting himself sink into despair over his lack of control and festers in resentment, the latter completely removing himself from family life in order to avoid it. shigure, however, copes with the curse by diving in head first; just like the rest of the zodiac, he knows that there is no way out, so he embraces the good things about it in order to cope. in addition to this, though we don't know much about shigure's upbringing, we can assume based on his short interaction with his parents that he came from an emotionally neglectful home (expanded on here), so the prospect of unconditional love from akito is something he craves. i think these are much more reasonable motivations for the beginning of shigure's obsession rather than positing that grooming a person he had never met before he even went through puberty was his goal.

with regards to gendered power dynamics, i think this take severely underestimates the amount of abuse shigure withstands from akito. the idea that shigure is somehow in control of the relationship is simply not true; their relationship is DEFINED by their power struggle, which is a game that akito was winning until the very end. it ignores that men can be abused (and we see him being abused by akito, both physically and emotionally), and it also ignores that, in many toxic and abusive relationships, there is not always someone who is purely a victim. shigure is undoubtedly horrible to akito back—he is vindictive, cruel, and cold towards them. he also knows full well that he is one of akito's most important emotional supports and uses this position to manipulate them. however, his gender and age does NOT give him power over akito. he must do as akito says, both because of the magic and akito's position as the family head. while their relationship is not necessarily a victim-and-perpetrator situation, the power dynamic clearly favors akito, who is literally all-powerful and a professional abuser.

with regards to the heteronormative idea that men and women who love each other is inherently romantic: the scene most often referenced for this opinion is the scene between teenage shigure and child akito in chapter 101 where he tells akito he loves them. i do not interpret this scene to be romantic whatsoever, and i actually think it's really weird and telling that so many people do. these are two people whose only comfort is one another and have known each other since early childhood; i don't think it's weird at all for shigure to tell akito he loves them in this situation. given fb's focus on familial and platonic love, how platonic love can transform into romance, and the fact that akigure is a parallel to kyoru, i interpret this scene as entirely familial/platonic.

i can understand why people have this opinion: shigure is a man, and he's older, and he is a manipulator. he gives people very visceral reactions because he's incredibly well written. his actions do also fit into some of the stages of grooming, but it falls apart upon closer look (source): he targets a child (ie, he becomes close with his cousin who he is supernaturally bonded to against his free will), he gains the child's trust (ie, they become friends), and he fills a need, in this case akito's lack of parental support, all of which he does as a child himself. he does not, and cannot, isolate the child because he doesn't have the power to—akito's status would prevent them from being completely isolated (a good example of akito's position inherently giving them more power). when it comes to sexualizing the relationship, we just don't know, there isn't enough textual evidence to argue either way. as for the last step, maintaining control, shigure does NOT try and make akito think he is the only person who can fulfill akito's emotional and physical needs. in fact, he's doing the opposite; he WANTS akito to meet and be changed by tohru, and he has no problem with akito's intimate relationship with hatori, who probably provides more emotional and physical support to them than anyone. you could argue that shigure is trying to isolate akito by driving the other zodiacs away, but i don't think shigure attempting to separate an abuser from their victims is what "isolate" is meant to reflect here. so, as we can see, shigure fulfills SOME of the stages of grooming, but i don't think they hold up to scrutiny if you're thinking about fb in a nuanced and world-appropriate way.

i can also see why people misinterpret shigure's bid for control as some sort of abuse, but he states that he wants to be equal with akito, not above. i do think there is an aspect of misogyny here; shigure's masculinity, and the role that masculinity grants him in society, is threatened by akito's control over him, but i don't think having fragile masculinity and making grabs for power because of it when you're in an abusive relationship is abuse in turn.

i'm not trying to absolve shigure of anything here. he is cruel, he is manipulative, and he does things to hurt akito on purpose whether it's in revenge or not. but i don't think shigure meets the standards of being a groomer, and i think this assumption, in addition to what i previously stated, is a symptom of fandom misusing buzzwords to gain points. it's not a nuanced view and i think a lot of it, in my experience, comes from projection; shigure, in all his awfulness, is extremely easy to project onto. however, i think that there are some things in fb that are just not analogous to real life, and that this aspect of akito and shigure's relationship is one of them.

[withinsnow]

Short reflection on the gusulan rules, lwj's struggles and the fickle nature of justice.

I've read so many wonderful metas on the wall of discipline and lwj's relationship to it, and it's a never-ending source of fascination to me. I wanted to share my own little reflection on it, and while I did read a piece on the rules just recently this isn't a response to that. It did inspire me to write it though, so I did. The rules I refer to are taken from the wiki, so I may get them wrong due to me not knowing the original phrasing in chinese. Anyways, here it is.

One consensus is that the rules themselves are imperfect, and while I think this is true, I don't think we can isolate this from the idea that people are imperfect. The individual has to judge the situation at hand with bias on which rules to prioritize. Given the sheer number of rules, and the multifaceted nature of moral dilemmas, it's nearly given that several rules will stand in opposition to one another.

I also think the way we define the rules will change depending on the rules in question and their context. In many ways they are guidelines: "do not drink alcohol.", "do not rise after 5" etc. Their intention is clear, and the enforcement of them relies less on individual interpretation and more on what importance you regard them with, if exceptions can be made, and so on.

However if we move away from the clear-cut rules and over to the less so, we'll find that they cease to be guidelines at all. When I use the term "guidelines", my definition is "an answer to which choice you should make in a given situation". For example: "do not drink alcohol" is a guideline, but "uphold the value of justice" is not, since upholding justice is not an action in itself, but the result of one: by holding the wrongdoer accountable you uphold justice. Let's not forget there's layers to this too. Sure they should be held accountable, but what does that mean? Punishment? Repentance? If punishment then what punishment? And so on.

Due to this I personally won't put lwj "distancing" himself from the rules as the core of his character development, or that his inner journey revolves around realizing that the rules are imperfect. Instead, I think his struggle stems from facing situations in which his previous approach is no longer enough to judge what the right choice is, if there even is one at all. That's not to say lwj had an overly simplistic world-view in the beginning. He knew about the fate of his parents after all, but one thing is knowing situations can be complex and answers hard to define, another is to find yourself in those situations. The problem isn't the rules, because the rules aren't the answer. Sometimes they're guidelines, sometimes they are values, ideas. By their very nature they cannot give you the answer, because the answer in this context relies on bias.

Let's look at the nightless city aftermath. Lwj is faced with the dilemma of helping wwx or standing with his sect. What was justice in that situation? Wwx killed jzx. He did not intend to, but the responsibility of the action is his. The great sects in turn says that the wen siblings turning themselves in will absolve wwx of any guilt. This is a lie, and while wn was involved in the incident, wq wasn't. To uphold justice wwx needs to be held accountable for the act, but what does accountability mean? Who decides this? The people who lied and targeted the innocent? For that act they should be held accountable. Then who shall cast the first stone? Was it right of wwx to unleash the bloodbath? They attacked him first, but who are they? Were everybody there complicit? Even lwj? Is wwx's attack on the sects justice, self-defense or revenge, and does the motivation behind it change its nature?

This isn't meant as an example of a situation with no answer. I'm sure many will have their own thoughts on who was right, who was wrong, and what the right course of action would be. My point is this: to get to a conclusion you'll have to apply bias. To uphold justice we'll first have to define what that is, and if it's the core on which we should base our judgement. In the end lwj didn't land on a clear conclusion, but he made his choice regardless.

"(...) he could not say with certainty whether what you did was right or wrong, but no matter what, he was willing to be responsible for all of the consequences alongside you."

- From exiled rebels, chapter 99.

So I don't think it was a struggle to do the right thing and the rules being something that blocked his way. I think it was a struggle to live up to those values, yet not knowing how to do so. How do you stay righteous in a situation where you can't properly discern right from wrong? It's paralyzing, but inaction could be the worse choice in the end, so even if you don't have the answer you'll do what you think is right. That's the most important thing.

The reason why I prefer this perspective is because it's a dilemma we'll all face eventually. Perhaps we don't have the 3000 rules, but we do have moral guidelines and social rules. "Don't cut in line", "pick up after your dog"- guidelines. "Be kind", "help those in need"- values. As we move through life we'll see situations in which the answer is not as clear-cut as we'd like. How do we uphold justice then? In the end it all comes down to our own judgement, and to quote wwx's words of wisdom:

"(...) let the self judge the right and wrong, let others decide to praise or to blame, let gains and losses remain uncommented on. I, too, know what I should and shouldn't do."

- Exiled rebels, chapter 75

[ramblingguy54]

True Colors: An Emotionally Fantastic Serious Game Changer.

If we’re to look back at Reunion as Season 1′s dramatic pay off for Amphibia’s message of toxic friendships, as Anne & Sasha’s conflicting dynamic showed us, then True Colors is a colossal expansive note on this big theme of the series. True Colors makes Season 1′s finale look like a walk in the park for what angst goes down between our three main heroins in Season 2′s climatic resolution. Everything that can go wrong does go oh so painfully wrong for these three kids. Anne, to no one’s surprise, gets double crossed by Sasha leaving things between them a Hell of a lot more bitter than they were previously, as if that couldn’t already be topped when Sasha tried to kill the Plantars before. Anne has had enough of her lies and manipulation not being afraid to tell Sasha straight up how awful of a friend she’s been in general, even hitting her where it hurts most of all saying, “No, I’m done listening to you! I’m done trusting you! You’re a horrible person and I am done being FRIENDS with you!”, going so far as to get a shaken reaction out of Sasha dropping her brave face act, making this girl try to wipe away the frog family.

Right off the bat, True Colors makes it highly evident this isn’t just another story of stopping a bigger threat, but one hitting much closer to home, overall. Yes, King Andrias is certainly a dangerous villain, who makes his presence and intimidating nature known to the others by True Color’s final act, which despite this Amphibia isn’t entirely putting him at the forefront, rather focusing on a more intimate study of Anne, Sasha, and Marcy’s big emotional conflict. This finale knows exactly where to put its focus of importance on, so I love that instead of it being action packed we’re getting the spotlight shined on just how screwed up these three of a friendship have, in spite of Marcy claiming in The Dinner episode, “We’re supposed to be friends for life. We don’t split up!’ . Very ironic stuff right there, indeed.

True Colors’ most powerful strength it adds to Amphibia’s ongoing profound story about healthy friendships is the thorough deconstruction of these girls defined “ideal relationship” as people. Before Anne came to the world of Amphibia this kid was afraid to stand up for what she believed in, even knowing especially well that stealing the calamity box was morally questionable, but did it anyway. Sasha was super manipulative, abusive, and used her power to control people, like she did a lot of toward Anne in their lives. Marcy, while very smart, wasn’t the most competent physically, who soon grew into being more independent without needing to rely on Anne always having to be there for her. These three were changed immensely by the events of being thrust into this world of sentient amphibian creatures. Anne benefited morally most out out of all three in taking up the mantle of responsibility and ironing out her own issues. She’s become a much stronger person all around. 

This episode asks us an important question though in nutshell with, “Have Sasha & Marcy truly changed for the better?”, since Anne has reached a point in her arc feeling genuinely content with who she’s become and the bonds that have been made with the Plantar family shown most notably with Sprig Plantar. Hence the whole purpose behind the song, It’s No Big Deal, with Anne feeling proud for who she is, yet not noticing a bigger issue right underneath her nose. That previous episode was meant to bring Anne’s happiness up only to bring it all crashing down in a devastating display of new revelations in True Colors. Every dramatic emotional beat isn’t just earned. Each significant moment is completely knocked out of the park by terrific voice acting, beautiful animation, and music composition that gave me serious emotional goosebumps. True Colors did exactly as Not What He Seems accomplished for Gravity Falls in shaking up its own respective dramatic stakes just when you thought it couldn’t get any higher for these protagonists. Shit seriously hits the fan here.

Did it ever occur to you, Anne? Sasha? That one of you knew more, than she was letting on? That ONE of you might’ve gotten you stranded in Amphibia on purpose...?

The big bombshell twist of Marcy playing a part too in getting them into this whole debacle completely flips everything upside down. Sasha pushed Anne into taking the Calamity Box, yes, but if Marcy never sent that photo because of her desire to stay with them together forever, then they wouldn’t have been stranded in basically a world full of dangerous creatures and who knows what else. Easily my favorite part of the episode, considering it adds more nuance to a situation that defined Amphibia’s story. It wasn’t just one person’s fault at the end of the day. Sasha bullied Anne into taking the box, Anne didn’t put her foot down to make a stand for something morally questionable, and Marcy took advantage of them both to benefit her own selfish desires for supposedly a “happy ending” not involving them staying apart, due to her parents moving away for a new job. All three girls played an important part on why they got landed into Amphiba. It’s why Anne’s statement to King Andrias, “The three of us may have made some mistake, but you...You’re evil and I’m gonna stop you!”, holds such a real weight to it, as this story continues to solidify how genuinely fleshed out their dynamic is.

Marcy’s super desperate plea to be understood by Anne & Sasha when Andrias revealed her getting them thrown into Amphibia purposefully was hard to watch. On one hand, I felt for Marcy because she didn’t want real life circumstances to tear apart that close connection she had to Sasha & Anne. Sure, she could’ve just kept in touch with them over the phone or chatting online, too. However, Marcy had known them since very early childhood. When you’ve been so attached to someone it can be a devastating thing, depending on just how vulnerable you are emotionally, to start drifting apart. Marcy represents that embodiment of toxic need for togetherness and couldn’t bear to let a possibility, like moving away, throw a wrench into her happiness and friendship, as well.

Never mind Marcy wanting to stay permanently in a different reality, rather than face her’s, but it made this person feel like something more. It gave her a chance to feel truly special in being able to live out a fantasy dream of having such power and freedom that a kid, like herself, couldn’t have had. The freedom to know she is plenty capable of making it out there on her own without Anne having to watch this kid like a hawk. So, to have someone, or something, try taking it away from her terrified Marcy of facing a terrible truth. That she isn’t strong enough after all to live a life without Anne & Sasha by her side completely, where Marcy will never feel truly worthy enough to blossom into her own person. It’s why that line, “I just...didn’t want to be alone...”, carries such a deep pain to it all. Marcy just crumbles into pieces accepting her greatest weakness. As much as Marcy fumbled the ball big time, it’s so easy to empathize with her on the idea of feeling competent enough. Marcy never meant to hurt Anne or Sasha, but the sad crushing punchline is she very much did.

Speaking of which, Anne had every right to be upset and mad, obviously. Anne has been missing so many things from her life before everything went off the wall. Hopping Mall especially highlighted Anne’s emotional desire to give anything just to hear her mother’s singing again. This teenager has been really dealing with a lot of grief in general quite honestly. Anne got into a high stakes battle against Sasha to save new friends, who’d practically became like an adopted family, which left the poor girl traumatized and heartbroken over the end result. She thought finding Marcy would help compensate for it and eventually be able to mend those complications with Sasha to boot. It’s simply painful to see it all blow up in Anne’s face to know not only Sasha betrayed her trust yet again, but realizing Marcy also played a part of responsibility in getting them thrown here. Matt Braly really just decided to slap future trust issues onto Anne finding out Hop Pop, Sasha, and Marcy were all super dishonest in their intentions at one point or another. Damn, I feel so bad for her.

It makes their embracing hug back in Marcy At The Gates so much harder to watch. Anne was super glad to see her again. Anne had wondered what became of Marcy or even possibly started to think she could even be alive at all. Then come to find out later on Marcy having intentionally ripped her away from a normal life must’ve felt worse then what happened with Sasha. Anne, already done with all of Sasha’s bullshit, thought she could at least expect better from Marcy not letting her down, but that too wasn’t the case. Marcy is very much as flawed as Sasha in what she has done. To think, Anne wanted so badly to get back home, yet she’s staring the very person dead in the eye, who ripped her away from it to begin with. Marcy knew Sasha would talk Anne into taking the box from that thrift shop, even if she wasn’t completely certain it would successfully teleport them away. Regardless of whatever good intentions someone can have in why they did what they did, it still doesn’t absolve them of said mistake. Fact of the matter is, Marcy tragically made her own bed, by choosing to mess with forces she couldn’t begin to comprehend and now has to face consequences, in spite of her not deserving them.

What really got to me was when Marcy tried to spin around Anne’s personal growth and close friendship with the Plantars as all entirely thanks to her. When she said, “I gave you this! I gave you everything!”, I was like, “Nope, that couldn’t be any further from the truth.”, seeing everything that has culminated in Anne’s journey of bettering herself. Marcy didn’t give Anne anything, but a one way ticket to cutting the kid off from her family, presuming she’d be fine with this idea. It’s all kinds of messed up, however what it boils down to is Marcy undermining Anne’s independence and agency. Anne’s moral judgement in decision making was what allowed her to create this new life she made for herself in Amphibia. Anne’s honesty as a whole led her down a path of togetherness, while Marcy’s lying landed her in a result of not wanting to be alone, costing her so much.

“I don’t believe this. We were so focused on each other we couldn’t see what was right in front of us!”

True Colors excels at earning each of its emotional beats because they line up with character motivations down to the last letter. Anne doesn’t want to trust Sasha anymore because of their already rocky past, which leads to her helping King Andrias regain control of his kingdom. Sasha not keeping a lid on her temper, wanting to rule over Amphibia, and trying to reinforce that power dynamic with Anne & Marcy only made things worse for her image of a changed good friend. There wasn’t a chance in Hell Anne would hear Sasha’s reasoning after she flat out tried to take away her frog family, by attempting to use the Calamity Box a bit ago in the episode. Marcy wanted to believe there was a happily ever after in seeing this world traveling idea as their only chance for salvation as friends for life, but it turned out to be something much more sinister, when learning of Andrias’ backstory and his true scumbag nature. All three of their motivations come clashing together, blinding them from a much bigger danger. Something that effectively puts everyone at stake.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale works so excellently, given it covers important dramatic elements it’s been stirring around since Season 1′s early rumblings. Amphibia is a story centered around people’s need for emotional connections. True Colors builds miraculously off what Reunion already did quite well in showing friendships can become rough and they are never easy to deal with. When you have to make a stand it can be a tough pill to swallow on the reality check of maybe this “good friend” of your’s isn’t as nice as you previously thought them to be. Anne having been hurt one too many times now by her former friend sends that message close to home, so much so even Sasha begins to question her morality as a human being. It poignantly encapsulates how this trio’s complex friendship is a serious growing issue needing to be reexamined, overall.

What if Anne’s right..? What if I am a horrible person...?

Something I absolutely love to pieces about True Colors, also a testament to Season 2′s darn good writing, is how much introspective we get from each character on what they’re feeling. We’ve seen plenty of Sasha’s vulnerability before in other episodes centered on her issues, but now we’re getting to the root of it. Sasha is really taking everything more to heart, little by little. Sasha’s understanding what kind of an effect she has on people, seeing the damage it has caused made evident by Percy and Braddock in Barrel’s Warhammer. Grime once told her, “Some dreams have a price and not everyone is willing to pay it.”, where she’s questioning that idealism every passing minute the invasion plan proceeds further into reaching success. Sasha isn’t sure what to do with herself anymore feeling aimless. Those previous episodes had a real impact on her priorities more than she cared to let on with Sasha’s typical tough girl act. This kid has let her guard down more, which scares and confuses Sasha. She’s always used to playing the role of protector it contradicts everything Sasha stands for when the roles are totally reversed because now Anne has made her feel the tremendous change in their growth as individuals.

Sasha’s lifestyle has been all about control that after somewhat learning to be more considerate to Anne & Marcy’s feelings she feels beyond conflicted about what truly matters to her. The most screwed up part of it all is Sasha didn’t want to fight anymore, taking up a pacifist approach after seeing what King Andrias had been hiding from everyone. It’s a fitting punishment for Sasha to try bringing Anne over to work together once more, but getting her pleas for companionship outright ignored. Anne was correct that Sasha had wasted all the chances to be reasonable. Boonchuy tried to hear out Sasha before at The Third Temple. One wanted to start things over again to iron out their serious issues, but the other was driven by bitterness, while only remorseful to a degree at best, of seeing their once weak friend become so independent, mature, and stronger that it drove her up wall. Sasha wanted to take away that “problem” being the Plantars, since in her eyes they’re the source of Anne’s strength, driving a wedge further between the two girls in their heated Reunion 2.0 battle.

True Colors demonstrates the horrific price of no trust, communication, nor teamwork from the three main girls that Andrias smoothly took advantage of, as if they were fiddles. 

“That’s the thing about friends isn’t it? The more you love them, the more it hurts when they go.”

King Andrias is quite literally what I wanted Lunaris to be, where DuckTales’ Season 2 finale didn’t impress me on doing. He’s a serious big baddie to the main cast, who follows through on his threats of violence to demonstrate his wide array of arsenal and power. Andrias doesn’t just emotionally manipulate characters, like poor Marcy, but utterly crush them without an ounce of remorse for his actions. When he dropped Sprig out that window after Anne willingly let him have the Calamity Box back I thought they were legit gonna kill this boy off. The way Anne’s flashback montage of her good times with Sprig were eerily shot really didn’t help either on that note. Anne’s Calamity power finally activating is easily up there among stuff, like Dewey risking his life for Della’s disappearance in Last Crash, where the cinematography is shot and animated brilliantly. You feel Anne’s blind raging sadness in every hit she landed on those robots and Andrias. If anyone didn’t believe Sprig was like a little brother to Anne, then I dunno how anyone couldn’t view their bond anymore as such after this hugely defining scene. Anne went bloodthirsty when she believed Sprig to be dead further evidenced when she hugged him in relief afterwards exclaiming, “Sprig!? You’re alive!? Oh, thank goodness...”, which cuts deep so damn much.

Anne was ready to fight every one of Andrias’ troops in that castle to the death, if need be. Before Sprig came back from falling, thanks to Marcy’s quick acting, to comfort Anne, her only goal was to slaughter every opponent in that throne room, along with making Andrias pay dearly for even daring to lay a single finger on anyone of the Plantars. I’m not gonna lie, this pivotal power up reminded me so much Gohan turning Super Saiyan 2 after Cell curb stomped Android 16 into pieces with a smirk on his face. Anne Boonchuy’s maddening outburst is a classic testament to the idea of, “Piss off the nicest person and they’ll make it their mission to instill the biggest kind of fear/terror into you.”. showing this kid at her most vulnerable mental state, yet. Sprig & Anne’s cathartic embrace really messed me up in reinforcing just how these two respect, love, and would go above any of their limitations to help the other out. Sprig’s “death” scene was a masterful bait by the writers into making us think someone was gonna die and it was gonna be a poor kid, no less.  

However, it was actually all just a bait and switch for the real, “Oh, shit. They really just did that”, moment with Marcy unexpectedly getting run through with Andrias’ gigantic sword. In a last ditch effort, Marcy wanted to atone for what she had a hand in getting them all into. Marcy was ironclad determined in making her own stand for what was right trying to save the people she endangered. Akin to what Sasha did in Reunion for saving Anne’s life, Marcy does the exact same here. Although, unfortunately this time, no one is here to protect Marcy from escaping death, like Grime catching Sasha from plummeting at Toad Tower. Marcy couldn’t react in time because she was so focused on helping her dear friends out. She wanted to prove to herself at least one time, “I’ve screwed up so much stuff with my friends. Maybe, just maybe. If I get my friends back home, it’ll prove I’m not an entirely crappy person for setting these events into motion.”. Marcy’s own deep seeded remorse is what saved Anne & the Plantars, while being the cause of her own untimely demise at Andrias’ hands.

This scene is what no doubt encouraged the warning sign for younger viewers Disney decided to make for them. It’s impressive how far Matt and his crew are willing to go for intense dramatic content. Andrias trying to crush Polly with his fist after destroying Frobo with casual ease, dropping Sprig out of the window from up sky high, and stabbing Marcy with his powerful sword displays his cold blooded brutality. Doesn’t matter who you are. If you get in the way of Andrias’ plans for multiverse domination, then he’ll throw anyone into their own grave, be it man, woman, or child. That’s the mark of a truly terrifying antagonist.

Andrias didn’t care who had to be hurt or manipulated to get back the box, so he could invade other worlds with Earth being his next prime target for invasion. Marcy’s fate is a horrifyingly poetic statement, since Sasha stated to Anne in a flashback from Marcy At The Gates, “One of these days, she’s gonna get herself killed.”, with True Colors tying back to this line in a disturbing manner. Something that sends chills down my spine is we get to see the full extent of how far Andrias shoved the sword through her body. We don’t just see the entry point of where it hit her, but it even zooms out to show the whole thing. Real talk, I got serious Avatar The Last Airbender vibes from this scene. Reminded me so much of Aang getting suddenly zapped with lightning by Azula when he tried to enter the Avatar state. Marcy didn’t want to be alone so badly she ended up inevitably dying alone trying to send Anne back home to their reality. One Hell of a way to close off Marcy’s last moments in Season 2, until her inevitable resurrection happens in Season 3 now that King Andrias has her in a tube tank that looks tied to his master.

True Colors ends on a deeply bittersweet cliffhanger leaving the fates of Sasha & Grime totally unknown if they’ll get away by the skin of their teeth, or get captured by Andrias’ soldiers and robots. Anne finally returned home with the Plantars, but at a deadly cost of leaving her other close friends behind in Amphibia. After all the isolation, heartbreak, and endurance she went through with her frog family Anne finds herself at a total loss for words. Once again, Anne is in a state of solitude of not knowing if her friends are really okay or not, mirroring the start of Season 1 when she landed into Amphibia’s world. It’s safe to say to say that, “Finally me and it’s no big deal.”, lyrics have aged terribly for Anne’s realization of finding her own identity came at the expense of getting separated from friends she’s known since kindergarten. Definitely see Anne becoming a lot more protective of the Plantars now more than ever after watching Marcy drop to the ground from being stabbed in front of her eyes.

Amphibia’s Season 2 finale is exactly how you capitalize on a winning story telling formula of dramatic writing, lovable characters with layered depth, and increasing the stakes of your story in an organic manner. True Colors is a finale that should be talked about for a long time to come, as it not only showed how worth the wait it was, but reinforces why Amphibia is a truly great series. It’s unafraid to take its characters to dark places in a way that feels totally earned.

Amphibia Season 2 is everything a sequel to a first film should be.

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 139 Review Part I: On Eren Jeager and Genocide

Why?

Why is this happening?

Folks, I’m going to be honest here: there are no words for this. The main thrust of this chapter is completely inexplicable. It’s stupid. It’s ill conceived. FML.

Just…just the term itself is laughable.

Eren redemption arc.

Sksksksksksksksksksksk

After everything he’s done, everyone he’s killed, you’re going to try redeeming Eren in the final chapter?

Eren didn’t need to be redeemed. He was a bullheaded kid who didn’t let anyone stop him from doing what he thought needed to be done. He sees the titans outside the walls as enemies to be exterminated. When he learns that his real enemies are other humans, who have a right to freedom as much as he does, he can’t accept it and decides to just exterminate them too. That mindset led him down a tragic path of genocide.

That’s not a bad character arc!

In fact, I’d say it’s very compelling. Nonconformity and obstinance are often presented as virtues; flipping that paradigm on its head and showing the vices of those virtues was legitimately smart and provocative.

Making people rethink what traits are virtues and vices is a great moral to the story, and it paired well with the other moral of cooperation and loving your fellow people.

Then this chapter came out, and they threw all that away.

Eren’s arc once made me think of Aristotle, who argued that true virtue lied between extremes: neither too submissive nor too rebellious.

Now Eren’s arc makes me think of pseudointellectual 4chan philosophy, and dumb teenagers: “He’s not a bad guy, he’s just human!!!”

Eren’s motivations are a mess now. He had no free will, but he also had a plan, but deep down he wanted to do the rumbling no matter what, but actually he really wanted to be with Mikasa.

Oh, and B T dubs, he killed his mom too.

You can tell Isayama is desperate to make Eren as sympathetic as possible to justify making him the anti-hero because he’s throwing everything he can pull out of his ass at Eren.

Really, though, all he ended up doing was smearing shit on the character.

Eren’s plan was to kill a significant part of the human population so the world wouldn’t be as overwhelming a threat as before. Simultaneously, he planned (“planned”) for the alliance to become vaunted heroes to the world when they killed him, thus paving the way to peace.

This…makes no sense?

There is no reason Eren should have believed this would work. During the battle of Trost, Pixis asked him if humanity could unite if threatened by a common enemy. Eren said no.

Eren is a pessimist about people. He sees how much the walldians fought with each other and concluded that people would always be at odds.

And the Tybur family helped defeat the Eldian Empire, but only the Tyburs were seen as heroes by the Marleyans. That good will was not imputed from the Tyburs to the other Eldians on the continent. There’s no reason to think that would happen here when it didn’t back then.

I’m assuming, anyway, that the alliance becoming heroes is supposed to lead to a world where Paradis is safe since that’s supposed to be Eren’s goal.

I’m willing to grant that maybe this part of Eren’s plan was more of a hope on his part. Peace would come only after his death, so he can’t truly “plan” for anything afterwards.

I think it’s safe to say that killing the world’s population was the main part of his plan, since that’s the part he had the most control over.

To the extent he had any control over his actions, which brings me to the next point.

So, turns out Eren had no free will.

Can you not feel Isayama’s desperation?

After all the awful things Eren’s done, Isayama’s brilliant idea to make him sympathetic is to strip him of all agency.

This is done by two routes throughout the chapter.

The first is by building him up as a victim. Eren’s mind is fucked; he can’t really control himself. Any decent person would feel pity for him, which is reinforced by the sorrow Armin visibly feels for him.

Then, like a shotgun blast to the face, we are told that Eren killed his mother in a moment that is clearly supposed to endear us to him.

This is such a transparent appeal for our sympathy. Isayama’s desperation leaps off the page and mugs us of it.

The only thing that this revelation adds to the story is that it gives Armin a reason to take up Eren’s hand, and show him support. You can see Armin’s heart breaking for Eren in that moment.

That’s mostly why this is here: to give the mass murderer a hard luck story so our hearts melt for him.

The second route is that depriving Eren of agency absolves him of blame for what he did.

Eren beat Armin bloody, but you can’t really blame him for it. He was drugged out on the Founding Titan and didn’t want to do it. He was acting on impulse, just going with the flow, so he deserves, at the very least, some leniency.

Eren both having a plan and not having much in the way of free will is contradictory. Everyone still talks about Eren as if he’s someone who is doing stuff even though we’re told he’s not really capable of rational decision making.

I’m going to be nice and assume Isayama’s intent is that when you parse this all out, you end up in a place where Eren is not truly responsible for what he did, and in any event this all ended with the titan curse broken and the world at peace, sooooo break out the champagne everyone, we achieved world peace!

…

Yeah, bub, I’m not partying right now.

Isayama’s ploy to absolve Eren of blame didn’t work. Eren is still responsible for the people he killed and his Founding Titan lobotomy counts for shit. Turns out it helps to know how free will works when you’re writing about free will.

Free will is the quality of being in control of your actions, at least to the extent necessary to be held responsible for them.

Eren was just going with the flow (wonder what Annie thought of that…), acting on impulse, and getting dragged along by fate, but that’s not actually important.

It’s been known for centuries that current events are caused by previous events and that the current events will bring about future events in a never ending chain of cause and effect. One domino causes another to fall causes another to fall and on and on. This is called determinism.

And that’s ok because we free will exists. It exists even if we can’t do anything other than what we are going to do. It exists in spite of, or even arises out of, determinism.

This premise, that free will and determinism are not mutually exclusive, is the foundation for a family of theories about free will called compatibilism.

Compatibilist free will is the most popular theory of free will. There are a couple of variations on the basic idea, but the gist is that free will exists when your actions can be linked to an aspect of yourself that you identify with.

For example, if you had no choice but to do something, but you’re ok with that because it’s what you wanted anyway, then you have free will.

Even if I didn’t know you’d stop me in the end, I think I still would have flattened this world. 

-Eren Jeager

That’s all I needed to hear.

EREN, FUCK YOU!!!!

Eren had free will, at least as much as necessary to blame him for his genocide.

Isayama threw this curveball at us and all it did was ruin Eren as a character while leaving him just as repugnant as before. Incredible. It’s the worst of both worlds.

Before this chapter Eren was a guy who believed in something and followed that belief no matter who got in his way. That was great! It was tragic and sad, but great storytelling.

Where does this chapter leave us?

What we learn in this chapter is that Eren didn’t really believe in anything. He may have free will enough to be a shithead for what he did, but that doesn’t mean he has free will enough to be an interesting character.

Eren coming to grips with him not being free, in an absolute sense, would have been so much more interesting than what we got. Eren started the series comparing humanity to cattle in a pen. He ends the series being literally sheparded by fate to his death like cattle to a slaughterhouse.

And yet we get no exploration of that at all.

It’s lame. Everything about this is lame. From a storytelling perspective, Eren was just along for the ride. Who would want to reread this series now? A story about a boy who’s quest for freedom neither ends tragically nor happily, but is just forgotten about by the end. What’s the point?

There is none.

Eren’s journey ends up lost in the author’s own ignorance of the very thing this is supposed to be about.

Unfortunately, SNK isn’t interested in 80% of the world being dead. If it were, Eren wouldn’t have gotten such a warm send off.

I was honestly shocked when I read this chapter.

I thought it had been made clear. SNK had come firmly down against genocide. I never imagined Isayama would try a 180 in the final chapter.

And, well, he did, and here we are.

SNK is pro-genocide.

To wit:

Once Eren’s abominable plan is explained to everyone, he is lavished with love and comfort by his friends.

Armin did punch Eren for being callous about Mikasa, but overall all Armin had nothing but sympathy and understanding for Eren. They held hands and hugged and gave Eren a tender farewell.

All they talk about is how great a sacrifice Eren is making.

Not the sacrifice of 80% of all people, but the sacrifice that Eren personally is making of himself.

I don’t know what deranged mindset Isayama has that made him think this was sensible, but no, Eren is not sacrificing anything. He was always going to die. We’ve known this for several dozen chapters. It’s not a sacrifice to befall the fate you were always going to suffer.

He lost nothing. If anything, he gained from this ending.

Eren died knowing he was loved and appreciated by his friends. What more could a dying man ask for?

Eren is rewarded by the story for killing 80% of humanity.

His ultimate fate was no worse than was expected even before he committed the genocide, and he went out in the knowledge that his friends loved him for it.

It doesn’t even make logical sense that his friends would be so receptive to what he did.

There is no difference between Eren’s plan and what we thought Eren’s plan was before this chapter came out.

Armin thought Eren’s plan was to murder humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin was appalled. Armin was willing to sacrifice his life to ensure Eren failed. He was truly acting for the greater good of humanity.

In this chapter, Armin learns that Eren’s plan is actually to murder most of humanity to ensure his safety, and Armin loves him.

Again, hand holding, hugging, “thank you.” No mention of the unfathomable harm caused. The 80% killed are not even a footnote in this chapter.

Even after the fact, Eren’s friends showed no qualms with Eren essentially winning and procuring their safety through genocide.

When previously the mere thought of that was what motivated them to lay down their lives to stop him.

I don’t think Isayama believes this genocide is supposed to bear on how we think of Eren. I say, having just read the chapter that’s all about Eren, in which his genocide doesn’t bear on how his friends think of him. At all.

Was that too great a leap in logic? I apologize if my rationality offends you.

Eren may have died, but he won in the end.

His friends are safe and the world looks set to conclude a peace treaty with Paradis.

I don’t buy for a second that the world is a threat to Paradis anymore, and I don’t buy for a second that there won’t be a peace shortly after the end of the story.

It’s very telling, to me, that it’s the world that’s come to grovel at Paradis’ feet, begging for peace, when previously it was the other way around.

The contours of this “peace,” if you can call it that, were made pretty clear in the epilogue. The world is in ruins while Paradis is stronger than ever, so the world sues for peace for fear of Paradis attacking further. 

This is the moral of the story. Frankly, it’s been staring at us in the face the whole time.

How do you end the cycle of violence?

The answer is to win. To be stronger. More determined.

The only peace is enforced peace through domination.

Peace through the barrel of a gun.

To be continued in part II (and possibly part III)

[foundthe8wing]

Okay, doing this over here because my main tumblr is usually a place for me to vibe and I don’t want all the bullshit tied to that account, but basically: I’m really angry and disappointed with the dndads cast for how they’ve put a lot of the minors in their fanbase in danger. Everything below is a repost from twitter (with permission from the OP, crypticjoy), and I’ll link the thread in a reblog. 

Under a cut because it’s long and potentially triggering (content warnings for grooming, sexualizing minors, and sexual assault)

[OP tagged the relevant cast accounts; I added slashes here bc I’m not sure if those same urls exist on tumblr and I don’t want to be randomly tagging people over here]

5:49 PM Sep 5, 2020

“I don’t usually do this, but: the way that the cast of @/dungeonsanddads engages with their audience is actively dangerous to minors, and they need to get it together. (cw for discussion of grooming, sexualizing minors, sexual assault)

First off, there are some iffy jokes and situations in the podcast itself. I’m not going to get into all of it right here, but have a google doc: [doc will also be linked in reblog]

Yes, the kids in #dndads are fictional, but that doesn’t mean this stuff doesn’t affect real kids listening. a. it normalizes talking/joking about kids in that way and b. There’s a lot of inconsistancy and confusion on the lines they draw--

Paeden saying “baby” is weird but Ron sitting in Terry Jr’s lap isn’t? I’m confused. You know who the fuck relies on that type of confusion and unclarity? Fucking predators

And I’m not saying every in-character decision has to be perfectly moral or acceptable, but the way the cast, out of character, discuss what’s weird and what’s not sends a lot of mixed messages. And that’s legitimately dangerous.

So then you take all of this, and you add a patron discord server that lets nsfw discussions run virtually unchecked--you create a fandom space that allows adults to discuss kinks, and porn searches, and just, all this other stuff, with teenagers...

... and it becomes a breeding ground for grooming and abuse.

The creators aren’t responsible for babysitting their fanbase or for how people engage with their content outside of their spaces (though, again, I’d urge them to be very careful about what kind of messages they’re sending)

But  they ARE responsible for taking basic steps to keep the spaces that THEY create and engage with safe.

“But the rules for the server say 18+!” The rules say you have to be 18 *or have parental permission.* They also say to keep things PG-13. That’s vastly different than establishing something as an adult-only/nsfw space.

“Minors shouldn’t be joining/listening anyway!” The cast can’t control who listens and neither can I, but there’s a difference between knowing teens are listening to you discuss sex with your adult friends vs facilitating conversations between teens and adults on those topics.

“If people are uncomfortable they can just leave.” First off, this situation isn’t just uncomfortable, it’s unSAFE. Second: fuck that. It’s not on minors to set and maintain boundaries about this stuff; a lot of them literally do not know how

Not because they’re stupid, but because they’re young and inexperienced. It’s the responsibility of adults to set and enforce healthy boundaries around sexual discussions, and this particular group of adults has done a fucking terrible job

(Maybe don’t encourage listeners to DM you about kinks! Maybe especially don’t do that when you’ve communicated, intentionally or not, that making and escalating sexual jokes is a really good way to get a reaction from you guys)

I get that they didn’t expect to have so many young listeners, but to be aware of that fact and make no adjustments whatsoever is irresponsible and it WILL lead to someone getting hurt. Does their “young, thirsty, female” audience only exist to them when they can laugh about it?

And let’s be absolutely 1000% clear: this isn’t an issue they’re unaware of. The stuff I’m talking about is an ongoing problem with how their server is run, but it came to a head with one specific situation very recently:

They released a bonus, patron-exclusive episode about the dads taking the bdsm test. Given the general state of the server, I was worried about where those discussions might lead, so before it dropped, I reached out to @/anthony_burch to express my concern

He told me he raised the issue with @/fwong and Ashley, meaning at least three members of the dndads team were aware of the situation, and decided it didn’t warrant any type of preemptive action on their part

(alternatively, it means Anthony lied, which would be a whole separate issue)

[Image ID: a discord DM conversation from Sep 1, 2020, between a crossed out username and reverendanthony. It reads: 

OP: heyyyyy have you guys considered that releasing an episode focused on the bdsm test is almost inevitably going to lead to a bunch of 15 year olds sharing their results in your server because you might want to get ahead of that before someone gets hurt

reverendanthony: oh holy shit, really good idea

OP: thanks, I know it's easy to veer into that territory just because of the nature of your show but I wanted to bring it to your attention because I figured you don't want to create a situation that's like, actively dangerous (and for the record I'm willing to discuss what I think would make it safer but I'm also not going to assume you want/need my input, obviously you can handle it however you see fit)

reverendanthony: No, thank you for bring it up, I really appreciate it -- I just raised the issue with Freddie and Ashley

OP: Good to know, thank you /End ID]

I’m not overreacting. I have seen this shit happen, to my friends and to myself, and watching the dndads cast take absolutely no meaningful action to prevent situations like that from occurring directly under their noses makes me fucking livid

I can guarantee that the #dungeonsanddaddies fanbase includes both predators and survivors of abuse, grooming, etc (including those currently living through it), and I need them to think very, very hard about which group they’re prioritizing.

And I need that choice to be evident through more than just their words, because it doesn’t fucking matter how much you “really appreciate” that I brought up my concerns if you do fuck-all to address them.

It doesn’t matter how many times you say the word “consent” if apparently everyone was okay that “Darryl gets sexually assaulted” was almost a plot point played for laughs.

(His dare from Scam  would have been rape, straight up. Just because no one said the word doesn’t mean it wasn’t coercive and gross).

I’d like to think the @/dungeonsanddads cast isn’t intentionally encouraging abuse, but they’re sure as hell enabling it, and they needed to get their shit together ages ago, because they’re not the ones their negligence hurts.”

Quote retweet by OP 6:51 PM Sep 7, 2020

“So, they updated the rules for the patron server, but I want to be really clear that from my perspective, it’s way too little, way too late. 

The new rules don’t adequately address the core issues and they certainly don’t absolve the cast of the harm they’ve already caused. 

[Tweet includes 2 screenshots: one of a bot asking people to click thumbs up to confirm they’re 18+ (or have a parent’s permission) and agree to the rules, and one that includes two of the rules. It reads: 

“This is an 18+ space. Them’s the rules: per Patreon’s policy, you must be 18+ or have parental permission.

Use language as if you’re at your parents dinner table. Don’t get people in trouble because of your SPICY POSTS. Keep conversation polite. NSFW content is not allowed!”]

(and before anyone says I should bring up my concerns privately, a quick refresher on how well that went last time I did it:) 

[links back to the “(alternatively, it means Anthony lied . . .)” tweet from the original thread]

So hey, @/fwong, some thoughts:

1.The rules are vague and unclear: what /exactly/ do you mean when you say “NSFW content is not allowed!” when the content of your show itself is so often nsfw? And how are you planning to enforce this?

Does it mean you’ll shut down the MBIC conversation that is literally just kink discussion? I need you to be clear on where the line is, because, again, predators rely on that confusion. Don’t give them a gray area to play in. 

For an example of a more clear policy, it’s pretty easy to say, “yep, ‘Henry gets pegged’ sure is a sentence we said on our show and you don’t have to pretend it’s not, but if you’d like to discuss it in any more detail at all, you need to move”

2. Remember how I said I needed to be clear on whether you’re prioritizing survivors or predators? While I doubt it was intentional, the language you’re using here is prioritizing predators.

It’s not “don’t get people in trouble,” it’s “don’t make people uncomfortable.” It’s “we all have a responsibility to make sure this space is safe for everyone, especially the younger members of the community.”

You’re setting people up to be afraid of expressing concerns for fear of “getting people in trouble” or “inciting unnecessary drama.” Even if it’s not what YOU meant, it’s very easy for those words to be manipulated, so +

You absolutely have to be explicitly clear that if someone expresses their discomfort, you’ve got their back. Being safe is more important than being polite. 

3. I need every cast member to take responsibility for their own actions. I’ve gotten no indication from any of you that you understand the ways in which the in-show things I brought up were harmful.

Acknowledging that harm is important not just because of the immediate effects of that content, but also because it implicitly sets an example for how similar complaints should be dealt with going forward.

When someone says “hey, I was uncomfortable that you seem fine with the Glennary ship, because she reads as very young to me,” I don’t need a dissertation on how the perception of characters can evolve due to your improvisational nature

I need to hear “oh, I interpreted her differently, but you’re right, we should have been more clear, and I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.” Because your responses to your own mistakes set the tone for any other situations like that going forward.

How comfortable is someone going to be with coming to you, or Ash, or any of the mods about someone making them uncomfortable if they’ve seen that when people call YOU out, they’re argued with and shut down?

Don’t tell people you’ve “made it clear that you won’t go there” when they tell you that you ARE there. Listen to them and do better. 

Set the expectation that people will be respected when they raise their concerns. “If you want to come at me you have to bring the heat” is not an appropriate response on a subject that made people genuinely uncomfortable. 

In essence: set people up to be supported and protected, not dismissed. 

[It’s like a matriosche of tweets over here. This one links to another thread, also by crypticjoy. That thread reads:

A non-comprehensive guide to keeping discord servers safe for minors:

1. Make designated channels for nsfw/18+ discussion. Generally speaking, this is a lot more effective than banning those discussions altogether, because it’s a lot easier to say “hey, can you move this conversation?” than “hey, I need you to stop”

In fandom spaces, it’s usually a good idea to have separate channels for talking about nsfw fiction vs discussing your personal sex lives.

2. Give everyone minor/adult roles; make sure your 18+ channels are locked to people who don’t have an adult role. It’s important that there’s more of a barrier there than just checking a box.

3. NSFW channels shouldn’t necessarily be a free-for-all; be aware of people’s boundaries and respect them (for example, r*pe jokes aren’t funny or okay, even if you’re not making them around kids)

4. Explicitly state in your rules that people should feel free to come to mods if anyone is making them uncomfortable. Actually listen to people and resolve the situation if they do approach you.

5. Make it clear that creepy behavior via DMs or other means is also not tolerated--you can’t control what people do outside your server, but you can make the choice to not allow people like that in your space

6. Make sure mods are on top of things BEFORE people have to say anything; sometimes being a mod means being willing to be the “asshole” who shuts things down before they get out of hand, even if they’re not asked.

Be generally aware of signals that people are uncomfortable or that things are escalating too far, and address those situations sooner rather than later.

*It should be noted that safety involves a lot of components beyond just containing nsfw discussions; this thread just happens to be focused on that one specific element.

oh also! It's a good idea to provide resources on grooming so people know what to look out for [links to some resources; again, this’ll be in the reblog]]

So, @/dungeonsanddads, if you’re interested in anything beyond just having a flimsy excuse you can point to to cover your own ass, I’m gonna need you to try again.

Sorry I can’t be nicer about it, but I’ve given so many benefits of the doubt I could be running a successful charity, and this isn’t an issue I’m willing to drop. 

10:02 PM

Thought I was done but actually I've got a few more questions: to what extent were @/HeyBethMay, @/WillBCampos, and @/mattLarnold included in conversations about this issue/the new rules? Is this something your whole team is involved in?

Have you discussed what you're doing on a team and individual basis to keep your fan interactions safe, and are you on the same page about how much it matters? Are you holding each other accountable? Is everyone okay with where this ended up?”

[fandom-pardes]

Christian normativity and Lovecraft Country

Reposted from my personal blog.

Here’s something you need to wrap your head around. If you were brought up in an environment dominated by Christian culture, Christian norms have shaped the way you conceptualize how the world works, human nature, ethics, religion (even the term religion is Christian-normative), and so on.

It doesn’t matter if you actively practice or believe. IMO, unless you deliberately and consistently expose yourself to different frameworks, you are generally operating from a Christian lens. That’s just how socialization works.

In the case of media and media criticism, the Christian framework shows up in a deeply puritanical streak where good and evil are not actions and choices, but states of being. When a character does something beneficial, it’s because they are good. If they do something harmful, it’s because they are bad.

It also shows up in the ways that fandom discourse seems preoccupied with whether a character’s thoughts, feelings, or actions are morally justified or not, as opposed to understanding where those thoughts, feelings, and actions come from.

Consider Montrose. He does some horrible stuff in this show, and many viewers were upset by the way the narrative went out of its way to explore where those horrific actions come from rather than condemn him for them. Meanwhile, I’m sitting here thinking, “Of course he does that, considering what his experiences have taught him.” But at the time the show was airing, if I’d expressed that openly, I’d have gotten a lot of, “Why are you trying to justify all the bad things Montrose has done?”

*smh*

In Lovecraft Country, the Christian normativity also shows up in the way it tries to shoehorn the plot (especially the finale) into a typical Good vs. Evil (or God vs. Satan—more on this in a bit) narrative even though the characters themselves are too complex for that. Then the show Goes There with the hamfisted way it links Tic with Jesus, all the way down to his martyred blood being the source of salvation, and Christina with Satan or the Antichrist, a morally corrupt enemy of goodness/God who tempts humans to embrace forbidden knowledge (magic) and forbidden pleasures (non-cishet sex).

(IMO, the show did Christina a disservice by making her the ultimate villain because she’s a lot more fun as a wild card. Also, her character is more akin to the tricksters of myth and folklore than the villains of contemporary media. /tangent)

Then there’s the way that, in the US, the legacy of slavery, and later Jim Crow, is seen as a kind of Original Sin, which the show reinforces rather than challenges. In very simplistic terms, Original Sin means that you are automatically morally corrupt from birth, and nothing you do can undo that except faith in Jesus. In other words, you are born bad and condemned to damnation unless you think, feel, and believe the right thing.

This insinuation of Original Sin is most pronounced with how the narrative frames Christina and how viewers respond to her. I’ve seen a lot of people judge her for having the “wrong” thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and attitudes, using that as an argument against her capacity to change and grow. Even the ways she helps and empowers others become automatically suspect because of this “taint.”

*siiiiigh*

Y’all, you have to understand how weird this looks to my Jewish self.

Imagine this rich heiress who kills a bunch of Nazis. She does it for her own reasons that aren’t the least bit altruistic. That’s still fewer Nazis for me to worry about. We can argue about her motives when there are no more Nazis. But for now: Thanks, lady!

But the way some viewers would have it, I’m supposed to be like…

Me: “I know you killed all these Nazis, but do you really care about my people?”

Her: “No.”

Me: “You horrible person! If you don’t care, don’t bother killing any Nazis at all!”

Haha. OK. Sure, Jan.

I’m not gonna go down the rabbit hole of Jewish ethics and moral development, but to summarize Jewish ethics while standing on one foot, the important thing is the Do The Thing. Even though it’s ideal to Do The Thing for the right reasons, whatever it takes to get you to Do The Thing is valid (some conditions about Doing The Other Things apply). Good intentions don’t absolve people of wrongdoing, nor do ulterior motives erase the good that people do.

Furthermore, sin is not a state of being in Jewish tradition. It’s an action or behavior akin to an arrow missing its target. Our job is to fix what we can and try again, failing better until we hit our target.

So Christina crashing her car into truckload of racists matters. Giving Leti enough money to pay for a house matters. Sharing magical secrets with Tic and Ruby matters. Keeping her promise not to harm Leti matters.

Now, if I really wanna get Jewish about this, I’d argue that Christina’s deep yearning for human connection, for family and for love, is what can give her the drive to learn better* and do better. This may strike some with deeply ingrained Christian norms as selfish, or at the very least, self-interested. However, Jewish tradition encourages us to perform mitzvot and other good deeds using both our yetzer hatov (our “good” impulse—think the Freudian** superego) and our yetzer hara (our “evil” impulse—think the Freudian id). Our job is not to suppress or deny the part that wants things for ourselves, but to refine it and channel it toward constructive purposes.

I think that’s about it.

Happy Hanukkah!

*Moral development through learning and study is a hallmark of Jewish ethics. No one is born knowing right from wrong. It has to be taught and cultivated.

**Freud was Jewish, BTW.

[cosmicheromp3]

let’s talk about snowbirds don’t fly for a second, shall we: the arc where roy’s addiction was first introduced, and how it actually affected the relationship between roy and ollie.

people’s perception of snowbirds don’t fly and the events surrounding it is so... weird, to the point where it often makes me wonder whether they’ve actually read the comic (and roy’s appearances right after, but i realize those might be less known) or whether they’re just going off a few very specific panels and inaccurate recounts – usually from people that will twist anything in their favour to call ollie a bad guy.

because, if you pieced together what most people seem to think happened – and this is what i was expecting to find once i decided to read it myself –, in snowbirds we should see: roy, not yet an adult and still under the active care of ollie, starts using drugs, and oliver’s so caught up in himself and negligent that he doesn’t notice what’s happening. when he finally finds out, he lashes out, hits roy and kicks him out of the house, leaving roy without a home. this makes their relationship crumble, and roy starts hating ollie because of it. they don’t speak to each other, and leave in awful terms.

and... in many aspects, that’s so far from the events you'll see if you actually go read green lantern #85 (snowbirds don’t fly) and #86 (they say it’ll kill me... but then won’t say when!). i’m assuming a lot of misconceptions happen because of a) writers with a grudge against ollie who retroactively, and unfairly, painted him in a bad light, and people took this at face value, and b) retcons that came with the new 52 reboot – but, i'll be honest, i don’t care enough to go read that mess even for this post. in general, i’m pretty sure we all agree that we ignore out of character comics; let’s not make roy and ollie the exception to that, yeah?

first i want to get something out of the way, that i feel like i need to mention even though there’s probably people that have talked about it better than i could. when we analyze this comic we should keep in mind that the characters in the story were meant to fill specific roles for the sort of... PSA comic that dc was trying to make, and in the 70s, at that. considering this, both roy and ollie are plot devices.

the creative team behind the story (o’neil and adams) have said that they chose roy to be the average “good” teen who fell into drugs – as a way to say “this could happen to anyone, even to this reputable superhero”. ollie was the caring but imperfect parent who missed the signs – not abusive but distant at the moment, he was meant to be more like a nudge to parents to pay closer attention. it was written to play as a sort of “this could happen to the best of us” situation. and in that context, ollie is made to react in a way that is at most "not ideal" for the standards of its time: he hits roy, and denies to himself that roy’s addiction is a real problem that needs to be dealt with delicately. this is used to send the message of “don’t react like this”.

that isn’t exactly the point of this post, and i don’t want to downplay the harm ollie did with his reaction or absolve him of any blame. the point of this post is: people seem to think that’s where the storyline ended, that was ollie’s final reaction, and those are the terms in which ollie and roy parted; which is just not true.

instead, ollie hitting roy happens in the very first page of green lantern #86 – we have an entire issue in which ollie is faced with his initial reaction and made to confront his mistake (which is more than we can say for, um, other father superheroes that have hit their children. i won’t name names.) the only moment you could read as him “kicking roy out” – which is the phrasing i’ve seen applied to this – happens the very next page, where ollie tells roy to “get out”.

the thing is, roy was not living with ollie at the moment. there was nowhere that ollie could kick him out from. “get out” means just that: get out of this room (and ollie didn’t intend anything more than that with his words.) the comic makes a point of stressing that roy is, by that point, independent, and old enough to be living without a guardian.

ollie, right after roy leaves, thinks: “but he shouldn’t need attention–at his age”. ollie is in the wrong here because of his close-minded view of addiction and because he’s not considering that, though a legal adult, roy is still young and needs care, but it still shows that roy was largely on his own by then. ollie’s reaction is definitively negative and a rejection, but can’t in any way be seen as “kicking roy out”, because it isn’t. (note, also, how ollie’s first thought is that he failed roy, but his denial and stubbornness get in the way and he shifts the blame. he’ll eventually have to get over this and change.)

we see that ollie plays the role of the father that reacts poorly, and he is directly contrasted with the adults who do take responsibility for roy – hal at first, and dinah after, are the ones who play the role of “this is how you should react.”

hal finds roy without knowing what happened between him and ollie, and his first reaction is to take roy to a doctor; he immediately recognizes that what roy needs is help – and will later say so to ollie. when roy refuses, saying he wants to kick the addiction on his own – to prove himself to ollie, because even though he doesn’t think ollie was right he still values his opinion and their relationship, but i’d say there’s something he’s trying to prove to himself, too –, hal recognizes that he doesn’t know anything about drug withdrawal or addiction, and he’s receptive to roy, asking him questions and listening without judgement.

so he takes roy to dinah, who is the one that (very kindly, might i add, because dinah and roy weren’t that close at the time) cares for roy while he goes cold turkey. roy, possibly rather unrealistically, though i’m no expert, kicks the addiction in the span of a few pages. before the ending of this arc, roy has already gone clean.

there’s a one week timeskip there, where we assume that out of the characters featured in this story, roy only interacts with dinah, and ollie’s been with hal. then, before the conclusion of this story, roy is given a place to confront ollie and call him out for his mistakes. roy calls him out for turning his back on him, and he gets to tell him – and show him, punching him in a scene where it’s implied that ollie completely deserves it, unlike the opposite situation that this issue started with – about the pain he’s been in. we are given, in text, a moment where roy can express to ollie what he’s been going through, what he did wrong, and how it affected him.

(this is a moment where the intentions of the comic are very clear, not only because roy practically turns to the camera to deliver the PSA, but also because of the wording: roy told ollie that he turned his back on him, and in the same page he talks about society turning its back on drug addicts, same wording twice. ollie and roy are both meant to represent something other than just themselves, even if this happened in continuity and ended up affecting their characters in the long run.)

and ollie – unlike in that first page, now ollie is shown to listen and understand. he’s not in the same place or mindset he was in when everything started. in the beginning, ollie thought that there must be something inherently bad about a person who does drugs, in a reflection of society’s – and parents’ – views of the issue. and that shows in his initial denial and reaction: ‘how could my son, who’s a good person, do this?’ then, in this scene, when roy tells him he beat the addiction, he answers “good boy” – roy immediately rejects this notion, and emphasizes that there’s more to it than his own goodness: what’s important is the help he received, namely from hal and dinah, and a caring environment. ollie, at the very least, begins to understand this, and in doing so understands very clearly what he needs to change about their relationship if he wants roy back.

this means that ollie starts undergoing character development in this one issue alone. the thing about ollie, in regards to his relationship with roy, is that he has made mistakes and the narrative acknowledges it; but, when well written, he realizes and admits it, making a point of learning from his mistakes. roy knows that ollie has fucked up, too, and doesn’t let him off the hook for it, but he also recognizes that he makes an effort to be better. especially after snowbirds, this informs their relationship a lot.

by the end of the issue they’re not hugging, and roy is leaving on his own, but that’s completely of his own accord. and these are the last panels in the entire issue:

the whole original comic, but mostly these panels specifically, is what makes me wonder about people’s perception of these events, and the misconceptions i previously mentioned – because i really am confused as to how you could reconcile these two opposite readings. unless, you know... people are speaking without ever touching the original comic. (i don’t want to blame anyone for not reading older comics, but please, if you’re gonna speak, especially if it’s to shit on a character or call them abusive the way people do with ollie, do it in an informed way.)

so, right after the events of snowbirds, because roy was allowed to speak up and ollie was made to listen, at least as much as can be expected through his stubbornness, they’re in much better terms than people usually think. if you look at roy’s chronology, he interacts with ollie in his next few appearances (barring the teen titans ones), teaming up as they normally would, with the one difference being the emphasis that’s put into the fact that roy has grown away from ollie – in the same way as any young adult would grow away from a parent. there’s also roy’s resentment for ollie’s actions, but this resentment is portrayed as deserved and it doesn’t turn their interactions into something negative. it’s still clear that they both care for each other, and there’s certainly no hate.

[from action comics #436/2]

this first one takes place a few months after roy goes his own way. roy is in the middle of working a case when ollie gets involved, and they work on it together. green lantern #100/2 is their next appearance and has a similar plot, this time with dinah working with them as well. in both of these, they still work well together, are able to communicate in action and have each other’s backs.

in the action comics issue, ollie insists that roy is still welcome by his side, and that he should still feel free to ask for help whenever he needs it. roy refuses in the way that’s shown in the panels above – saying that he needs to “be a loner for a while” and build a life of his own (though it’s not an exact parallel, because ollie is ollie and takes “loner” to a whole other level, the wording here reminds me of the way ollie tends to leave on his own whenever he feels like he needs to find himself). you’ll see that these interactions aren’t hostile at all – quite the opposite.

world’s finest #251/3 might be the one where their interactions are the most tense, and that’s mostly just in the end. when they’re done with the usual superhero team-up, ollie shows willingness to talk to roy:

“i can’t help out. roy’s back, and, well– we’ve got a lot of talking to do.” through these issues, we realize that ollie has learned: his previous mistake was not paying enough attention to roy, and not showing him that he could always count on ollie (both in noticing roy’s addiction, but also before, in not taking enough care so roy wouldn’t get to that point). he tries to make up for it every chance he has, but it’s always on roy’s terms. everyone is aware that ollie is the one who was in the wrong, and it’s up to roy to forgive him or not, but no one ever pressures roy to do so. when roy doesn’t want to stay and talk, ollie accepts it.

ollie atones again and again, and their relationship isn’t magically fixed and they don’t go back to being close without effort – effort which rightfully has to be done, again, mostly on ollie’s part. but they never, ever go so far as to hate each other.

then, in green arrow (1988) #75, ollie feels so bad about what happened between them, about the way he screwed up, he essentially says to roy that he wouldn’t fault him for wanting to shoot him. “so go ahead. god knows, you’ve got plenty of reason.” roy has been brainwashed here; he breaks through it because of ollie’s words. 

and, after this whole ordeal is done, this is how they part ways:

by this point, roy already has lian and a life of his own. he’s gone back to being speedy and then arsenal, he’s in the titans again and he will become a renowned hero in his own right. he might have forgiven ollie a long time ago, but now that he has found himself – like he set off to do at first – he seems more prepared to make amends and see where he stands with him (maybe i’m attributing more consistency among these issues, that happen years apart, than we should actually give them credit for, but i can’t help trying to find the common themes.)

after these, which are the most immediate interactions after snowbirds, we have multiple instances of them being close again. it’s in every small moment they have together, really, but off the top of my head, a couple that are illustrative for their relationship are green arrow: the archer’s quest and justice league of america (2006) #7, even though they don’t directly interact in this last one. i was gonna include panels from both, but this is getting long enough; i urge you to read them, especially if you followed along reading the issues i’ve mentioned, because they’re great. what i am gonna include, cause it’s amazing, is this panel from justice league of america wedding special.

in my opinion, these misconceptions around ollie and roy not only are a disservice to their characters but also mean that people are missing out on what i think is a really interesting relationship. it’s almost rare to see a relationship evolve in a way that feels so organic in comics, not only because the interpersonal conflict here is shown to have real, tangible consequences but also because the characters are allowed to grow in a way that is gradual and natural and even satisfying.

ollie and roy's relationship might have never been the exact same after snowbirds – but which father-son relationship stays the same after the son grows up? and i think it's a testament to the strength of their bond that without ever ignoring these events (because, as i’ve shown, they’re very much acknowledged again and again) they not only never stop loving each other, but are also able to keep building something meaningful going forward.

[flightfoot]

Scarlet Fever Analysis 2: Salt Fighting

AO3

Note: this contains spoilers for all of Scarlet Fever

Scarlet Fever addresses and shuts down salt in many ways, showing where it might have a point, but fighting back when that point is taken too far.

This is usually done through two particular mouthpieces - Master Fu and Princess Justice, though other characters do bring up salt arguments and scenarios as well.

Master Fu’s main problems stem from not trusting Adrien enough, from having so little faith in him, treating him like an afterthought, a sidekick. He largely represents the Adrien salters who think he’s incompetent and unworthy of attention, that he’s useless without Ladybug and only exists to be her bodyguard - and that since that’s his role, he deserves no accolades for fulfilling it.

From the beginning, Master Fu has some misgivings about Adrien being Paris’s main protector, without Marinette around to help.

Tikki floated forward to respond but Master Fu held out his palm to stop her. "The last time you used the Ladybug Miraculous you had her help!"

Adrien looked down. "I know... That's why we need her back." He looked up in determination as he put on the earrings. "If I had so much trouble with them then we can't just choose anyone else and we can't wait." (Chapter 2)

Master Fu is doubtful here that Adrien’s up to the task, since he wasn’t quite up to it last time. Which… fair. Adrien struggled in Reflekdoll, with Marinette ultimately telling him how to use his Lucky Charm.

But Adrien’s counterargument is also important. It shifts the conversation from the implication that “Adrien is incompetent as Ladybug” to “Marinette is the best at being Ladybug, but failing that, Adrien is the second best choice since he has some experience as Ladybug and a lot as a Miraculous Wielder more generally”.

Credit to Master Fu, he doesn’t argue with Adrien on this front, doesn’t try to stop him. Adrien IS the best option available to wield the Ladybug Miraculous.

There’s some salt about Adrien being dumb and unable to use the Ladybug effectively, but Scarlet Fever shuts that down. Yes, it’s not as natural a fit for Adrien as it is for Marinette, but that’s because of how uniquely suited Marinette is for the Ladybug, not because Adrien is especially bad at using it - and when push comes to shove, he can use it very effectively.

That’s only the beginning of Master Fu’s doubt in Adrien and skepticism of his choices, however. He isn’t especially happy when Adrien brings Sabine back to their base.

"He also said you were the one to ask about Marinette," Sabine continued.

Master Fu stumbled in shock and turned his head from Sabine to Adrien and back again. "The situation is... complicated."

"She deserves to know, Master," Adrien insisted, he'd wrapped the tarp around himself like a shawl, revealing his eyes but keeping his face covered.

"It is not the time!" Master Fu chastised. "With Papillon Écarlate gaining strength we must focus on- Are you listening to me?" (Chapter 3)

This passage parallels one of the arguments about Syren, one of the conflicts. In that episode, there was an undertone of Adrien having the right to know some of the Miraculous-related stuff, enough to know what was going on with Ladybug at least, and Fu delaying because it supposedly wasn’t the right time. It’s fitting to see that argument rear up again, especially since Adrien’s “right to know” stuff comes up so often, with how he’s left out of the loop so much and how that hurts.

Fu’s resistant to trusting Adrien’s instincts in general, not even wanting to let him decide who to give a Miraculous to, wanting to wait until Ladybug’s freed so SHE can decide. It takes an outside authority - the Lucky Charm - to persuade Fu, rather than having some faith in Adrien’s choices.

"We can still free Ladybug," Master Fu insisted. "Then she can decide who to bestow with a Miraculous."

Adrien shook his head. "My Lucky Charm said I needed Kagami."

"... The Lucky Charm said to give Kagami the Black Cat?"

"... Yes! I don't know if it's to bring My Lady back to us or some other reason but I know that we need Kagami! And I know I need to hurry!"

Master Fu stared at his Chosen intently. "If that is our best course of action," he conceded. (Chapter 3)

The complete reliance on Marinette to fulfill the auxiliary duties of a Miraculous Wielder, the unwillingness to consider that Adrien may also be able to perform some of the same roles well, like choosing wielders, is something I’ve seen crop up in salt repeatedly.

It comes to a head with Sabine and Fu arguing, Fu claiming that Adrien isn’t good enough while Sabine counters, defending Adrien.

"I had to train Marinette! I could not stop simply to scold Chat Noir every time he erred! Adrien has made too many mistakes!"

"Isn't it a teacher's job to correct his students? Maybe you should have trained Adrien too instead of expecting my daughter to do everything herself!" Sabine challenged.

"It was too dangerous!" Master Fu retorted. "Marinette proved herself! I couldn't let Adrien in when he did not earn it!

Sabine stared at this man older than her father and realized he knew nothing of adolescents. "... Trading his wellbeing for my daughter's may not make him trustworthy in your eyes," she stressed. "But it does in mine." (Chapter 6)

One of the salt arguments I’ve heard is that Adrien hasn’t “proven” himself worthy of having more information, more of a role in the process, of having the same sort of information and authority as Marinette. Him just fulfilling his role as a superhero, protecting Paris and protecting Ladybug so she can restore everything, even at the cost of his own life, isn’t seen as enough (and is sometimes even seen as him manipulating her somehow).

But Sabine’s the voice of reason, fighting back. She doesn’t have the same sort of unreasonable, unmanageable expectations that Fu does - if she did Marinette would probably be joining Adrien in the “awful parent” club.

Instead, she holds Adrien to the same sort of standard that she would Marinette. He’s trying to help, has sacrificed himself again and again for Marinette’s sake, for Paris’s sake. He is a Hero of Paris. That’s all he needs to be. He’s more than proved his trustworthiness, shown that he should be given the same sort of respect that Marinette gets.

Princess Justice is not so easily reasoned with.

She represents a specific character in saltfics, the most important one by design - the one the world’s warped around.

Saltinette.

It’s pretty apparent in her accusations against the heroes, in the accusations against others more generally.

"What of Papillon's Judgment!" Maneki-neko demanded as they sped towards the Seine. She held tight to the struggling villain as she attempted to get through to Marinette. "Will you absolve him of his crimes against Paris! Against your friends!"

"What friends!?" Princess Justice roared. She opened her bag and spun. The dust engulfed them, entering Kagami's eyes and distracting her long enough for the villain to break free.

Princess Justice struck at the hero, Maneki-neko barely deflecting her attacks. Every sentence punctuated by the crack of her whip. "They abandoned me! They chose that liar over me! They will all suffer like I have! They will all feel my pain! Every! Last! ONE!" (Chapter 5)

Saltfics frequently exaggerate the “sins” of Marinette’s friends and family, from merely having some doubt in her (based on both accusations and actual evidence, albeit planted evidence) into actively shunning her - something that doesn’t happen in the show for more than a few minutes at best, and which Alya doesn’t even entertain.

But the part that’s most telling? Her desire to inflict pain on them in return. Not merely to persuade them that Lila’s wrong, but to actively want them to suffer for the impertinence of being conned.

The revenge plot is a staple of saltfics, often focusing on punishing the people Lila fooled even above punishing Lila. On inflicting pain on the people who “failed” Marinette when they should have believed her and followed what she said unquestioningly, no matter what evidence or accusations were thrown her way, without a hint of doubt or consideration for Lila’s words.

Marinette notably does NOT do this. Even in Silencer she wants justice because of Bob stealing her design and Kitty Section’s music, but emphatically does NOT pursue revenge, trying to get Silencer to back down because anything he did to Bob WOULD be vengeance, not justice. She even tells Chat as much when he suggests letting Silencer MAKE Bob confess the truth.

If she isn’t willing to let that happen to Bob, someone who did indeed knowingly wrong her and her friends without remorse, she CERTAINLY wouldn’t want to inflict vengeance on people whose main crime was being tricked, something that Mister Bug calls Princess Justice out on.

"You've always been forgiving!" Mister Bug reminded her desperately. "Always the one to point out what's unjust! You said that we should strive for Justice not Revenge! This! All of this! Is Revenge!" (Chapter 5)

Of course, she isn’t exactly in a headspace where she’s able to listen to him.

Instead she fights him, accusing him of common salt complaints against him.

"Chat Noir!" She slammed them into the side of a building, gratified to hear his cries. "You are accused!"

Adrien felt his heart pounding in fear. He knew what the verdict would be.

"Accused of being Unworthy!"

"Plagg disagrees." The throbbing impact of the bench on his head hurt less than the impact of her words on his heart. (Chapter 5)

Adrien frequently has the Black Cat Miraculous taken from him in saltfics for one reason or another, declared unworthy of possessing it. Canonically of course none of the heroes would even consider that (except Adrien himself, funnily enough), and the one whose opinion on his “worthiness” matters most - Plagg - has declared Adrien to be the best Chat Noir he ever had, both thinking he’s a good hero AND also caring about him deeply, helping to cheer him up whenever Adrien’s hurt.

"Accused of holding Ladybug back!" She ground him on the underside of a bridge as they flew past.

His chest tightened and he forced air into his lungs. The friction of stones on his back burned less than her barbs. "First I've heard of it." (Chapter 5)

Chat Noir’s also accused of being useless a lot, of Ladybug being better off without him. Something that has been shown to not be the case time and time again. Furthermore she’d never WANT to be without him - that was shown in the NY special. That she didn’t know she could even fight without him by her side.

"Accused of treating the lives of Paris like some game!"

His eyes widened. "Never!" (Chapter 5)

This salt mostly stems from Syren, though it crops up more generally with Chat Noir cracking jokes during akuma battles. But while he jokes or gets upset, it never distracts him from fighting the akuma for long, if at all. Plus, it’s a way of coping with the situation. Getting too bogged down and not having any fun along the way can lead to MORE mistakes, as Gamer 2.0 demonstrated.

"Accused of getting in her way! Of always expecting her to save you without regard for how getting brainwashed affects her!" She ricocheted between two trees before she had to evade his companions.

"I was protecting you!" He jerked them away from the lamppost she was about to crush his back against. "You think I want to fight you!? I hate being brainwashed! I'm terrified of it!" (Chapter 5)

Yep, this is, for some reason, an actual salt accusation towards Chat to show how he’s a horrible person: that he gets hurt and brainwashed for her sake too often and doesn’t think about how she feels about needing to save him, making him a horrible person.

"I had to ask you to help me before you did anything!" Princess Justice launched herself at him with a kick.

"... What?" Mister Bug was snapped out of his thoughts by her words. He grabbed her foot and used her momentum to spin her away, head over heel.

She righted herself, the butterfly mark flaring back up, and charged again. "Right before Damocles expelled me, you said nothing until I asked you to!"

He used his forearms to block her strikes as a familiar rage started burning through his veins. "You're... angry because I helped you? When you asked for it!?" He ducked under her blow and brought his fist into an uppercut.

"I shouldn't have to ask!" She barely twisted out of the way in time as she failed in her attempt to knee him in the face. "You are Unworthy!" Princess Justice accused. (Chapter 9)

Yep, this is an actual accusation that’s thrown at Adrien for the events of “Ladybug”; that after Marinette opens the locker and Lila’s necklace falls out, he processes for a few seconds and intervenes once Marinette asks him for help. It takes 15 seconds from the time Lila picks the necklace up to Adrien intervening (with most of that time taken up by Marinette talking), but a quarter of a minute is an unforgivable delay for salters.

As for not helping until she asked for it (though Adrien didn’t have much of a window in which to intervene before she requested assistance)... that’s not always a bad thing. It’s not what MARINETTE does, but that doesn’t always work out. Often it IS a good idea to wait until someone gives an indication that they want the help before intervening, because that intervention may end up only making things worse. Adrien knows that well enough when it comes to his father - Nino wasn’t able to persuade him to allow Adrien to have a birthday party, and was subsequently barred from the house as a “bad influence”. Worse may have happened if he pushed further, ESPECIALLY to Adrien, whom Gabriel has authority to punish.

Adrien can only take so much of this, so much of being slandered, of having every potential fault magnified a thousandfold while his own feelings and views of the situations are completely disregarded before he SNAPS.

"I was betrayed!" She swung a right hook at him. "My whole world crashed down around me!" And a left. "Who are you to Judge me, oh Chat Blanc!" The villain sneered.

And Mister Bug's control snapped.

"So sorry grieving over my dead mother isn't good enough to get AKUMATIZED OVER!" (Chapter 9)

Marinette has issues that she’s dealing with, emotional turmoil that she’s going through. But so do others, ESPECIALLY Adrien. She’s not the only one whose feelings matter.

“I forgot! Marinette is the only one whose burdens count!" He stopped suddenly and yanked on his yo-yo.

"What would you know about it!?" She copied him and jerked her whip towards her, the tangled cords beginning to pull free.

"They kept touching ME!" His disgust and shame roared through him and their weapons separated with a snap.

"Then you should have said something instead of letting them walk all over you!" She lashed out with her whip, intending to put an end to this. (Chapter 9)

Adrien’s sneered at for being a spineless doormat, for “letting” people touch him when he’s very clearly trying to get away without just outright telling them to back off. It is something that he needs to work on, but it’s certainly not something to BLAME him for. Especially since it’s doubtful that making a fuss about that sort of thing would’ve been well-received in most of his life. His father would be unlikely to take it well if he objected to a photoshoot on those grounds, for instance.

But he’s not the only one who needs to learn when to confess that something bad has happened to them.

"You're one to talk!" He deflected every strike with his yo-yo, mirrored her every move.

"You're the one who told me not to SAY anything!" Her whip came a hairsbreadth from his ear.

"You never said she threatened you!" His yo-yo barely grazed her bag.

"What difference does it make!?" She charged at him.

"It makes all the difference!" He rose to meet her. (Chapter 9)

This is a key point of contention in a lot of the Chameleon salt that’s directed at Adrien. Often he’s blamed for his advice to Marinette not to continue going after Lila, that it won’t help anything. That so long as he and Marinette knew she was lying, it didn’t really matter.

But that advice was based on the premise that Lila wasn’t an active threat, a danger. That it was merely galling to see her lying, but that she wasn’t causing any active harm by doing so. And while it was theorized that her lies about her status may lead to her making false promises to people, causing them to forgo real opportunities in pursuit of a lie, by the end of season 3 that does not appear to be the case.

Her actively threatening Marinette changes things. If she didn’t pose an actual danger, then it would be irritating to have to listen to her lie, but it doesn’t actually change anything. But with her desire to isolate Marinette? That’s different. Just leaving her be under those circumstances leaves Marinette in peril.

But Adrien DID NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT, and that is not his fault. He could only make decisions and recommendations off of information he possesses. He is not to blame for not being psychic.

Marinette would NOT blame Adrien for these things. Would not try to inflict pain on her friends.

Princess Justice is not Marinette.

Saltinette is not Marinette.

Something that Adrien realizes.

Adrien looked at Princess Justice. Really looked at her. The sneer of her lips, the sadistic gleam in her eyes, the ferocity of her advance. This... This was not Marinette.

The anger made way as Adrien's determination and love rose to merge with it. He broke through her assault and zipped away. The villain giving chase.

Princess Justice was all pain and rage and desire.

The villains on the ground took notice of their approach.

But Marinette was not defined by these things.

Glaciator fired a barrage of ice cream as he moved too close.

Marinette was joy and compassion and longing.(Chapter 9)

Marinette can have negative emotions and make bad decisions like anyone else. But fundamentally she is kind and caring, brings light to those around her, makes their lives better. She doesn’t try to make them miserable and beat every ounce of happiness out of their existence. She values people besides herself, besides what they can do for her, and cares about what they think and feel.

And SHE truly cares about justice.

Princess Justice does not deserve the name. Although she declares herself just, serves as judge, jury, and executioner, she does not keep herself to the standard she holds others too.

Kagami's tail stiffened. "Liar!" Maneki-neko let the villain's whip wrap around her staff and yanked her in. "You're a liar!" Her fist connected with the akumatized supervillain.

Throwing her own punch Princess Justice's eyes narrowed. "Justice doesn't lie!"

Stumbling back, Maneki-neko threw herself forward. "You're not Justice!" She tackled the villain, and they went over the edge of the roof. "You're immune to your own dust! You've been lying since the beginning!" (Chapter 12)

It’s poetic really. For the representation of Saltinette to be an evilized Marinette, one who rains down judgement on others but protects herself from being judged similarly, not even realizing that she’s doing it. Saltinette isn’t Marinette. She’s a twisted version, bereft of reason and her best qualities.

If Saltinette was judging herself the way she judges everyone else? She would be even more furious at Marinette for not doing more to take Lila down, since she knows she’s an active threat and is well-positioned to let people know that she’s lying about being her friend, than she is at Adrien. There would probably be a host of other things she’d judge herself for as well, but what exactly would depend on what space Saltinette occupied in that dynamic. For the only thing that matters to Saltinette is whether something or someone benefits her or whether they cause her any difficulty, nothing else.

Indignation. Princess Justice whirled to face him as her blue eyes narrowed. "You'd turn against me, too? Just like everyone else!? You all turned against me!"

Righteous Fury rumbled in displeasure at its master's agitation, exoskeleton glowing faintly under their feet.

"Disagreeing with you doesn't mean I've turned against you, my Lady," Adrien reasoned. (Chapter 13)

This is key. It’s possible to have fics, to have circumstances where Marinette conflicts with Adrien, Alya, or many others, without anyone being treated as being a horrible person. Sometimes people just disagree, sometimes for good reasons, due to perspective, mindset, or differences in knowledge, for instance. It doesn’t always mean they’ve turned against the other person.

Approaching cautiously, Roi Bug kept a hand close to his yo-yo in case she tried to attack him in earnest. "Revenge isn't Justice. You know that. Remember?"

"... I do." She looked down as another building was hit. "I remember letting the Guilty hurt the Innocent! Letting people who have never shown an ounce of remorse get away scot-free! Showing mercy to people who don't deserve it! Who haven't earned it!" Her gaze turned to him with frustration and anger in her eyes. "That is what I remember!"

He let her rage wash past him. "Mercy is never earned. That's why it's Mercy. Because you don't deserve it. Forgiveness-"

Princess Justice laughed. "Oh, forgiveness! You're really good at that, aren't you? But I'm done forgiving! From now on everyone gets exactly. What. They. Deserve!"

Temper flaring, Adrien shot his hand out toward a girl barely younger than them as she floated past. Face frozen mid-scream. Dark glow proclaiming: Self-righteous. "Is this what they deserve!?"

No, yes, no, yes, no- "Silence!" Princess Justice's whip flew at him again. This time Roi Bug whirled his yo-yo as a shield to deflect it. (Chapter 13)

Forgiveness and mercy can go too far. That is true. But there’s a reason they exist, why they’re generally considered good. Punishment can go too far, can cause more harm than good, especially when taken to insane extremes for minor slights, as Princess Justice and Saltinette do. A LOT of Disproportionate Retribution gets thrown around.

And if merely causing someone some strife was worthy of insane punishment? Few people would pass. Marinette among them.

"I've never harmed an Innocent person in my life!" She slashed her whip in a wide arc.

Bringing out the Monkey's staff and the baseball bat Lucky Charm, he used both weapons to deflect her attack. "Of course, you have! You're human aren't you!?"

"They were all Guilty!" She insisted, agitation causing the sentimonster to rumble as she struck. "They all deserved it!"

Adrien's eyes narrowed. "Did Luka 'deserve' it?"

Flinching, her whip missed its target.

"Or Kagami?" He pressed. "Did she 'deserve' the way you treated her?"

Regret, determination, shame.

"She should know what she's done to you," he whispered.

"... She does."

"No- I- Quiet! Be quiet!" She held her head between her hands as a drum pounded in her skull. "Justice! I am Justice!" (Chapter 13)

Marinette’s inflicted pain on others who have not done something to earn it, Kagami being one of the chief examples, what with her actions towards her in Animaestro and Ikari Gozen. But while what Marinette did those times were WRONG, they do not define her as a person, and do not justify an insane level of disproportionate retribution against her, do not justify writing Marinette off as a human being.

That same courtesy should apply to others as well.

Marinette is different from Princess Justice, from Saltinette, something she aptly demonstrates when she talks to Adrien after being deakumatized.

I-I said some... terrible things to you and I..." Marinette curled her arms around herself. "I didn't mean it." (Chapter 14)

Marinette also fights back against the accusations Princess Justice made, things that Marinette didn’t mean, does not believe, and would never say if she’d been herself.

"You saved me countless times!" His eyes watered as her's did the same. "You saved Paris countless times!" Yellow smoke intruded into his thoughts, helpless to stop the cycle no matter how many Second Chances he got. "It-" Shame choked his throat and he swallowed it back, averting his eyes. "It's about time I started pulling my weight..."

Frowning, Marinette placed her hands over his. "Who... said you weren't pulling your weight?" His silence was answer enough and the guilt cut at her.

Piecing Adrien and Chat Noir together was surprisingly easy when she let herself consider it. Virtues and flaws that made a terrible sort of sense together. Once Marinette understood that he felt just as alone as she did. And Princess Justice threw it all in his face.

"Well, she was wrong!" Marinette snapped. Gripping Adrien's hands firmly as they trembled. (Chapter 14)

Marinette would never say that Chat wasn’t pulling his weight, that he wasn’t good enough. Wouldn’t believe it and would fight back against anyone who hurt her partner that way. She reassures him that he is enough, that he did well, even while he assures her that he doesn’t blame her for what happened and nor would anyone else. That she’s human, and having a moment of emotional weakness, of distress, does not make her bad or unworthy or irresponsible.

Both of them reassuring each other that they don’t need to be perfect. That they are enough. To be kind and forgiving towards themselves.

[lighthouseborna]

mmkay so you know how the doc has this thing about killing people / he prefers to distance himself from it in a "it was out of my hands" sort of way, he tells the racnoss "then what happens next is your own doing" before he commits genocide, he won't pull the trigger but he will "get worse. Trick people into [pulling it themselves]", he likes to have a technicality where he can say That Wasn't My Fault, I Had No Choice. would henry's 'they're a monster' fall under the same category or would it be ... like his killing, would it be His Killing or would it be the 'natural course of events', they're a monster and therefore they Have To Die OR they're a monster and therefore I Will Kill Them. i don't know if this question is coming across but it's interesting to me so here i am

Ok so Ingrid's asking about (this post and its tags) for context and for the sake of answering this for my HC tag I'm also going to try to. Explain what (I'm pretty sure) this question is in case it's only clear to me because I speak Ingrid:

Like (character we're both familiar with I won't write the name of because tumblr's search function is too powerful), when Henry is [theoretically] pushed to killing, does his mindset shift the blame of the act to either the killed or some greater force, either way, in service of absolving him of responsibility for their death? Can he handle/confront murder as a personal action, or is his nature to find a way to separate it from himself?

And you know it's a good question because I have been noticing some common threads lately there are some real similarities that have cropped up and either they're written with a similar feel or I just accidentally assigned him the similarities lol, and then there's also the matter of how I phrased it, and... yeah it's a good question.

Especially considering -as I said- there's this line in the sand for Henry (which really comes down to my writing; there is..... a hint of it in the novel, I didn't pull it from nowhere, but I do feel I've exaggerated it) I was talking about where he goes from 'this is a person that I do not agree with and who is doing things that do not fit my definition of good' which may or may not warrant stopping them but ultimately just mean he considers them a very dark or different person from himself, to... 'this is not a person. People do not behave this way.' Granted, so far Salazar is... the only person he's actually met who he has categorized this way, probably. And his mental perception of Beckett and Jones would be similar, but only because they were often his childhood-story villains, so, while obviously dislikable, their villainy has been exaggerated to Henry by his own childhood imagination. Outside of these figures, two being aided by imagination and the third by a literal trauma response, he's never gotten to this point of thinking. It takes a lot. Honestly, he's old enough now that Jones and Beckett may not fall into this category the same way anymore, though you'd have to call his attention to that fact for it to be properly acknowledged. This was not the question - I was building to it but now I've lost how, the point is:

No. No I don't think he would.

You know he's not. He's not an accidental person. He's chaotic, and he's impulsive, and optimistic and so lucky so often. Be he doesn't... he doesn't nudge one thing for the sake of watching where the momentum carries the chaos, he charges for what he wants, does what he believes will set those things, specifically, in motion. Obviously not everything is going to just happen the way he wants it to, of course everyone experiences consequences they did not anticipate. But those random things aren't where he lives, he lives in intention. In drive. In doing. Do- is this making sense about how I feel it's connected? Like. Ripple pattern, butterfly effect, etc. sure that's just... part of making your choices but he makes his choices. And in this instance, that's... that's just what it is.

If Henry is at a point where his thinking becomes "this is not a man, this is a monster" it is not to say and so have killed themself by being one it is to explain "and that is why I have done what I have done." A justification, to be sure, and a fascinating peek at the way he otherizes what is contrary to him (why can it not just be a man who is evil, Henry? Why must something be inhuman to be dark? ((It's quite beautiful in a bad-thinking way, though, really. 'Humans are not this dark' you sweet, sweet summer child.))) but, ultimately, full responsibility. I don't think for a second he'd try to say there was no other path - too often the truth of life is that there are many paths you do not see until after something is done, and he knows this. I do not think for a second he'd try to remove something he did from himself - even if it's unpleasant, even when it is hard, and sometimes horrible, he did it, and that is as important to him when he doesn't like his choices as when he does. There may come a day when he disagrees with his past self, but nevertheless, he is him and he will not hide from himself. That's not his way. He does not bluff.

And ... I don't know if that he could get to this point, where he felt compelled to kill, without someone he cared about and/or himself being under active threat. Like you could be a nega-Henry, a person who believes in everything he does not and makes every choice he would never, but as long as that was just like. Existence for you? And didn't hinge on hurting his people? ... I mean he'd absolutely scowl and argue and fight but I don't think it would come to killing, from his side. Not at origin.

And it's not nice. It's not flattering. It's not enjoyable to do or pleasant knowledge to have of yourself, that there is a point at which you can kill. ...But I'm not even sure he's properly aware of it, at this juncture? While I fully believe he was, effectively and applicably, at this point with Salazar, he didn't reach immediately for it because it's not his first or even fifth or seventh or- nature, and more importantly (dynamically, thematically, etc.) he didn't have to. Jack and Barbossa saw to that (parents_defending_their_children.pdf). Salazar is dealt with without Henry having to step to that he could have been the one to do it. I'm not saying he wouldn't have I'm just saying this is also very important to the truth of Henry Turner; he is not alone and the people around him, for all his defense of them, for all his fighting on their behalf, will defend him so fiercely. too. And if he had stepped to this, and done what he believed to be the thing to do in that moment (Salazar does not stop unless he is dead - and even then......) it's important to note the way he would not expect it to change the defending. And that may be a large part of why he has no need to remove it from himself.

After all, he is His People First; if they could not handle Henry as capable of killing, I think he'd be far more likely to find a way to slough that responsibility - for their sake. But... I mean, he's a pirate. They all are.

[pbandcas]

Champagne Down the Drain

For @bend-me-shape-me‘s SPNAdventCalendar2020 Warnings: intentional miscarriage (this one is important ya’ll please take it seriously), referenced past abortion, Alcohol and drug abuse, suicidal ideation, angst, hurt no comfort, Dean didn’t know Cas was pregnant.  Extra Tags: Omega verse, Omega!Cas, Alpha!Dean, inspired by Gasoline by Halsey Pairing: Endverse Destiel Read on AO3 Master Post Day 16: Family (Set in the same universe as Day 15: One Day)

Champagne Down the Drain

He’ll cut it out. He’d done it before. He’d do it again and again. It was who he was, who they were. Who they were not. This world, this life, it wasn’t safe. It wasn’t suitable. It wasn’t worthy.

His hands slipped against the dirty porcelain sink. Red smears of blood appearing in their wake, a stark reminder that he wasn't safe here. That more Croats could stumble upon him at any moment. How they even made it into the camp he wasn't sure, but he knew why they were here. They could smell it on him, even if the humans couldn't yet. Deep breaths. He could do this. He could get through it. Again and again. He could. He could, he could, he had to.

When he heaved into the sink all that came up was bile. Stinging his throat in a way the alcohol didn’t. It almost hurt. It almost made him regret his decisions. Almost.

The heavy scent of copper and decay stung his nose as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Another smear of foul smelling blood and a grimace. He’d have to clean it off before finding Dean again. He didn’t need the alpha losing his shit over nothing. He didn’t need to worry their leader… again.

Something once vaguely resembling his heart twinges at the thought. At the idea that Dean would think the sadness he tasted in Cas’ scent was linked to the blood. It was in a way, but not to the blood covering him. It was linked to the blood coursing through him. Through Dean. It was the blood that still tried. When all else had failed in the world, it tried. Again and again.

No matter how many times Cas stopped it. How many times it killed him to do so.

And fuck if Cas didn’t want. Fuck if he didn’t yearn and his body didn’t beg. But He couldn’t. They couldn’t. And wanting can be curbed. And yearning can be replaced. With drugs that made you forget, and booze that burned through your body.

If he was naïve enough to believe God still cared he’d hope to be forgiven. He had been blessed, again and again, and he washed it away every time. He fought against the storm in his heart. He fought down the tears and bile and drowned in self loathing. He took the pills like candy, letting them dissolve on his tongue. Leaving behind the bitter taste he knew so well.

Next the drink to wash it down. To wash it away, to absolve him of their mistake. Looking at himself in the mirror he didn’t know the man staring back anymore. He didn’t know the him who cared so little. He didn’t know this Cas who worked with measured distant motions. Who’s hands barely shook as the bottle of whiskey touched his lips. Who’s eyes were long dead and grey.

He didn’t know this Cas anymore. He definitely didn’t like what he saw. But he couldn’t stop it now. What was once more in the greater plan? They may have had the chance, in some world or universe, they may have. Not in this world though. Not in this universe. Maybe if they could wake up and the world could right itself. But this isn’t a dream and there was no waking up.

So he drank the bottle. Letting the last drops sting his throat like the tears in his eyes. Let it burn his heart as he drowns in his misery. He’ll pretend the pain in his body is post-heat sickness. He’ll lie and they’ll believe it. He’ll pretend his heart isn’t oozing in agony because he’s done it before.

The Cas in the mirror straightens up and his empty gaze hurts to look at. The blood on the faucet keeps his focus because if he looks at the water swirling down the drain, he’ll spiral with it. It’ll wash away the evidence, but it won’t fix the hurt. It won’t mend any cracks, it won’t stop his pain.

He thought, once upon a time, that maybe he would make a good parent. That he would be a good omega if given the option. Would be caring and nurturing and produce strong little pups. It could have been so good. It could have. But it wasn’t. And he wasn’t. And they couldn’t.

So he’d wash it down. The second bottle may have stung, it must have. But he was numb to the feeling. The taste was bitter and sour and hit differently than the whiskey. The first had been rich and smooth and soothing, a pleasing goodbye. An ‘I love you I love you I love you’ I’m sorry. An acknowledgment that he was not as pure as he wished to believe.

He took this short moment, where his dreams may have once come true, and cherished it. He wrapped it in silver and buried it in gold. He let the feeling comfort him for the first and last time. It was a reminder that he could. That he should have. It was a reminder that his unhappiness was his own fault.

The second bottle was sharp and brutal to his senses. A desperation to make it quick. A certain knowing engulfing his entire being. A need to forget prompted the second set of pills. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.

The bottle of champagne came last. He didn’t drink it all. He never did. Not this one, this one he raised to his reflection. The spark in his eyes long gone as the cramping in his stomach started. This one he’ll smile ruefully and down a large mouthful. He let the fizz burst on his tongue and tickle his throat. He let the drinks mix.

He’ll tip the bottle over into the sink then and let the liquid spiral. He’ll wish he could follow it, down the drain and out of this fucked up world. Once the bottle was empty and it had all washed away he turned on the tap. The water was frigid in the late December cold but that was fine by Cas.

If anything it helped. It soothed the aching burn in his esophagus. It settled his stomach. The cold saturated his soul and left him numb to the feeling. As the light in him dies so does he… but he’s done this before. It won’t kill him. He knows it’ll carve another piece out of himself. Another chasm to fill with absinthe and disgust. But it won’t kill him and he knows it but he’ll do it again. And again and again because he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t.

He’ll go back to Dean. Look him in the eyes and let his grief be ignored. He’ll say it was a false alarm, that maybe they didn’t have to worry about a mistake happening. Maybe his body was already fucked up beyond repair and couldn’t catch even if they wanted to. They both know it’ll be a lie, but they’ll both let it slide. He’ll look away as he says it.

He knows Dean will too. He knows Dean almost better than himself. He knows Dean yearns just the same as him. The words will cut worse than any blade but he’ll still say them. Because Dean needs to learn. To understand where Cas is coming from. Otherwise he won’t be able to justify his actions.

They can’t have that. They can’t be a family.

Fingers dig into his eyes and pinpricks of color dance in the endless void. He lets his eyes crack open as his hand slips down his face. In some other time, he was a good omega. He was a good friend, a devout lover, a caring parent. In another life he had a family. They were a family. In some other world he didn’t have to cut it away.

Somewhere, he didn’t take the pills. He didn’t drink the whiskey or the absinthe. Somewhere out there he didn’t have to because it was safe. And they were allowed. Somewhere out there, the Winchester line didn’t end with Dean.

This wasn’t ‘somewhere’ though. This was their world. A world filled with death and destruction and danger. A world where there could be no weaknesses or distractions. And it would be. A distraction. A weakness. Because families got hurt. He’d be an even bigger liability than he already was. He'd lead them here. His scent had drawn them into their camp. He endangered them all.

So he cut it out. With drugs and pills and booze, he cut it out.

He washed it away like champagne down the drain.

[allthebooksandcrannies]

Just some thoughts on maturity...

This is going to get long so there’ll be more under the cut.

I saw a post the other day about how it can be tempting particularly for the older crowd on this website to judge or condescend those who seem to struggle with expressing or holding truly complex ideas and instead getting stuck in a binary mentality of good vs bad or us vs them. then the post went on to point out that its not really their fault considering that a major proportion of tumblr users are under 25 (according to this report, 39% of users are under 25 and 66% are under 35) and devopmentally this is really where we see the ability to hold complex feelings and accept the existence of multiple realities really start to develop and it was kind of an epiphany for me. 

I don’t want to come across as condescending, after all, i’m part of that 39% myself and can admit that i’m still working on this skillset. But part of emotional maturity is being able to accept and understand that the world is a complicated or gray place and morality is, if not exactly relative, at least exists on a continuum (what is acceptable and even praise-worthy in one culture might be taboo or reprehensible in another [which is why we need to avoid judging past or foreign cultures by our own cultural norms/morals]).  

Just as it is possible to do the wrong thing for the right reasons or the right thing for the wrong reasons and it be both right and wrong at the same time, there can be multiple truths and “realities” at the same time without either being more or less correct than the other. I know that might sound confusing or convoluted but let me explain. You’ve probably heard the expression that there are three truths: your truth, my truth, and the actual truth is somewhere in the middle. I agree with this to an extent. People can look at the same experience and come up with radically different narratives to explain what happened to themselves or others and generally they are both a little biased because the brain naturally works from an egocentric point of view (this isn’t necessarily the same thing as a selfish/arrogant pov, but that we tend to view things based on their relationships to ourselves even if they aren’t actually connected to us, ie a child that sees that their parent is upset about something that happened during their day but assumes that it is somehow their own fault, which gets into some theory of mind stuff that is honestly a whole other post and not really the point). 

An example from my own life, is a common argument that my mother and i rehash a lot lately. Just going off of the things actually said aloud (which is only ever half the argument), my mom likes to ask for constant progress reports on things like my thesis or grad school applications or my love life and then proceeds to tell me what she thinks i should do. Sometimes i humor her and let it go, but other times i try to explain that talking about the things that i’m anxious about actually makes my anxiety related procrastination worse and that i would appreciate it if she wouldn’t ask as often. Those are the main events that lead up to it. 

From what i can tell, she views her questions as good parenting. She has told me before that she felt hurt as a kid by how uninvolved her parents were in her own adolescence/early adulthood and doesn’t want to make same mistakes.  She then takes my request not to ask as a rejection of her parenting, and usually responds by telling me that i should stop being bothered because she’s just trying to help and i’ll feel better if i just do what she’s suggesting (and then proceeds to say “see, aren’t you glad you have a mom who pushes you to do these things” once i finish a project.)

there really is no winning because my mother has never really learned that the things you do to be helpful can still be harmful. in her mind, she can’t be in the wrong because that would make her a bad mom and she can’t be a bad mom because she loves us. sure, she might be able to accept this idea in fiction or in the abstract, but isn’t able to put it into practice because that is a learned skill that she has never known to try to learn. i think a lot of people end up stuck there. tbh its still my first instinct a lot of the time and its only through a lot of courses geared towards developing critical thinking and empathy, a lot of fiction meta analysis, and reading about a million fanfics that each interpret the same canon event differently based on the author’s personal experiences coloring what they viewed as important.

my first instinct is to view my mother’s refusal to change her behavior as a disrespect/invalidation of my feelings. I feel guilty because i know that i should do the things she’s suggesting but that is never the issue, the issue is that i have trouble actually making myself do it. For a long time that egocentric worldview (and that instinct kids have to implicitly trust hteir gaurdians) told me that both the executive dsyfunction and the fighting were my fault. It felt like she was saying that if i was better or smarter or more mature surely i would be able to do this on my own. it felt like she was saying that if i was a better daughter i wouldn’t hurt her feelings like this. 

But i’ve been learning that neither one of us were truly correct and we both were at the same time. Those feelings and concerns were real to us, even if we were both projecting our own insecurities onto the other person. Those feelings were valid and understandable but (and this is incredibly important) that did not give either one of us a free pass on how we acted on those insecurities.  It didn’t make us bad people but it did mean that we were engaging in toxic behavior that just hurt both of us.

So, the question becomes “what do i do with that?” Now that i know we were both responding from a place of trauma and insecurity in the past, how do we change how we act in the future? I think we have to get to a point where we can look at a situation and truly try to understand the internal dialogue that the other side is experiencing in the moment (why they feel the way they feel, do we really have evidence that they feel what we think they feel or are we projecting, are they acting well-intentioned/malicious or are they even considering the ramifications at all/do they have any conscious intentions) and come to a point where we can truly empathize with them, not sympathize with them, not feel sorry for them, but truly see it from their side and understand where they are coming from. we should remember that we’re all a little broken. and we should be gracious and merciful. 

That doesn’t mean we have to be happy about it. We don’t even need to think that they have a good point or that their pov is reasonable or forgivable (sometimes it just isn’t, and its important to understand that too). But it means not dehumanizing the enemy or oversimplifying their position into the general “bad guy” role. You can forgive without absolving and you can understand and show compassion without forgiving or accepting.

You need to set boundaries, and you need to accept that at the end of the day the way that they respond is not on you, not if you’ve acted based on that understanding we talked about earlier and treated them with at least the bare amount of dignity we are all entitled to as human beings. 

Returning to the previous example, with my mother, i now make a point when we disagree of first summarizing and acknowledging the validity of what i understand her intent to be, making it clear that i appreciate that she cares and is trying to be helpful. Then i explain my point of view not as what she makes me feel (because that would come across as judgement that would prompt natural, though incredibly unhelpful defensiveness) but as to how i feel based on my interpretation of the action. I try to make this sound as nonjudgemental as possible without making it anyone’s fault, including my own (which i admit can be easier said than done). Then, i give an alternative suggestion for what would actually be helpful and then it is in her hands. It is up to her whether or not to accept the boundary i have set up.  

In an ideal world she would respect my wishes and alter her behavior. after all, she is supposed to be the adult/parent in this relationship. the emotional labor isn’t supposed to be on the child, at least not the majority of it. 

(side note: this goes for relationships of equals such as significant others, friends, siblings, extended families, and peers. in a healthy relationship of equals you should be splitting the emotional labor equally. if they aren’t trying as hard as you are, you probably need to have a conversation about that and based on the outcome then evaluate how much, if any, of yourself is safe/healthy to continue to pour into the relationship)

But because many people, adults and adolescents alike, have not reached this level of emotional maturity and can’t honestly/completely accept or acknowledge their own flaws and mistakes without their sense of self taking a hit, sometimes its not enough.  My mother, no matter how respectfully i phrase my concerns and request, continues to insist on asking the same nagging questions that trigger a lot of my childhood emotional drama related to being good enough for my parents impossible standards.  I understand why she behaves the way that she does but the fact of the matter is that she still continues to hurt me and no longer has plausible deniability in those situations.  I have the right to be angry, though i do not have the right to lash out or respond in kind. 

I do, however, have the right and the responsibility to myself to do what i can to protect myself from further harm. I still want a positive relationship with my mother, we have plenty of good moments and are very similar people. But i have to be willing and able to remove myself from unsafe situations. Usually that means making it clear that i won’t be answering the questions and not calling or texting with her until the point is made (even if this leaves her surly). 

I had to lower my expectations for her as well. I had a high opinion of my mother because she can be very nurturing and compassionate, especially when we are in agreement. So i thought on some level that if i shared the information and the sources that prompted me to begin my own journey of self-actualization and personal growth in earnest that she would react similarly and understand why i needed her to at least try to do the same. Piece of advice, kiddos, it’s not your job to fix someone, no matter how much you love them nor how much potential they have. It needs to be on them, and they need to make that decision for themselves or it won’t work anyway.

I am trying to accept that unless she makes the decision on her own, she isn’t going to become the mother i want her to be. That’s an incredibly sad thing to realize about someone you love, but its true. If i don’t let that expectation go, our relationship will always be one of disappointment and eventually resentment. Instead, I've had to evaluate what conversations we are and are not able to have in a healthy manner, and just let things be what they will be.  I know my own worth (when my brain chemistry cooperates) and i have a lot of good, healthy relationships in my life that i can turn to when i need something my mom doesn’t know how to give me. 

It’s painful to grow and realize you’re leaving people behind in the process. You can offer them the tools to follow, and give them the support that they need to do so, but only if they want to. 

But i promise you its worth it.  When you accept your own worth with rather than despite your own flaws, when you learn to do the same with others, you realize that there’s a lot more hope for humanity than you thought.  we are capable of so many great things if we are in an environment that fosters our best selves. and even when we are not, we are still capable of growing past our trauma and hurt so that we don’t have to continue the cycle of pain and misery. We can’t control everyone and everything around us, they still have a measure of personal responsibility to themselves and others that you can’t absolve them from.  But you can be an example to them. You can show them through your own life and actions that things can be better, even if they weren’t aware of how much they need things to improve, or how much they deserve it. You deserve good things but you wait for someone to solve it for you. You have to fight for yourself and struggle against falling into the trap of the familiar. It is going to be scary, it is going to be confusing. there will be times when you don’t trust your own interpretations of your emotions and perceptions (especially if you weren’t taught to do so as a kid, its not your fault, but what happens next is up to you). When those times come you’re going to want to have good friends or mentors at your side or as a source of hope that things will be better and that there are people who can and will offer you the help you need along the way. No one can do it alone, and you don’t have to.  For me, my college roommates were my first clue that maybe things weren’t as good with my mother as i assumed, they fostered my confidence and my self-worth and i was constantly afraid i was going to scare them away but they had my back.  I didn’t think i deserved to be happy, i didn’t think i was worthy for anything outside what i could do or give for others and they showed me that i was worthy just as i was.  it was creators like @goldkirk and @maychorian and @cdelphiki and @sohotthateveryonedied that taught me through their works what healthy family relationships (particularly between parent and child) should look like, what unhealthy relationships can do to you, and that families of choice are just as valuable as those of law or blood. And @goldkirk especially, i want you to know that reading your blog, be it the ups, or the downs, your knowledge of things like child development and mental health, and even the things that you find helpful and reblog have meant so much to me.  I have a lot in common with your Tim and with you and you have given me so much hope and confirmation and affirmation that i’m not alone in my experiences and that i deserve to be happy, even if the road isn’t a straight line. and lately i have to say thank you to @mahpotatoequeen for just straight up deciding to be my new mom this summer. I don’t have the words for how much i appreciate you and how much it meant to me that in one of the worst crisis of my life that there was someone who saw the things i had posted just to get out of my system, things i had never said to anyone before and that came from a really broken and painful place, and reached out and stuck around rather than just continuing to scroll and go about their day.

But I digress. My point is that there are people out there that you can learn from and there are people out there who will care. And maybe we all owe it to each other to strive to become the healthiest version of ourselves, so that maybe someday we can be that for someone else.  just a thought.

(I can’t find the original post i referenced earlier but if someone knows what i’m talking about plz send me the link so i can give credit where credit is due)

[aren-hai]

Clarence, Sheryl, and Avocato

Another rant because these are fun. This time featuring the holy trifecta of fucked up parents!

Ok so, I can hear y'all already, “But Avocato is a good dad! He died for his son! He did all the things for his boy! You even said so!” Shut up I did. I did say those things because Avocato is one of my favorite characters, but he is objectively not the best parent. (Especially when compared to Nightfall or Gary)

List of Crimes!

Never verbally told Lil’Cato he loved him (Actions speak louder than words but kids need to hear that!)

Aggressively strict parenting (“Fourteen years of pure calisthenics!)((And also this could just be me, Super strict parenting just, isn’t for me. But I know it’s not necessarily abuse? It's complicated I mostly added this one to make the list bigger))

And the biggest one, Almost killed his son. Yes he didn’t, but Lil’Cato will always fucking remember the moments where his dad pointed a gun at him, and considered. It should have never been an option. And again I hear you, “But he was working for Lord Commander! He had no choice! He was emotionally fucked up!” 

This is all true! But he shouldn’t have put Lil’Cato in that scenario in the first place. Obviously, we don’t know why he worked with Lord Commander for so long, but the second he found out that filicide was necessary, he should have grabbed his son and ran for the hills.

All this being said, however. He isn’t the worst parent in Final Space. 

Even though he did consider killing his son, he didn’t. And very quickly tried to give Lord Commander a pink slip via shooting the jerk in the face. He then dedicates the literal rest of his life to saving his son. No, that doesn’t make up for the neglect and trauma, but it’s a lot better then what the other characters on this list do.

Sheryl! Oh Sheryl, you polarizing force you. Some people love you and will defend your actions to the death, others will actually go on terrifying rants about what they would do to you, given the chance. I’ve already ranted about some of your failings, but also how the show kinda wrote you to be hated.

List of Crimes!

Didn’t (and doesn’t!) love Gary

Abusive

Neglectful (Oooooh boy, literally leaving his life, and only coming back when John died. She didn’t comfort the grieving Gary at all, only staying around long enough to drunkenly mope, and then leaving again)

Also, like everyone on this list, tries to kill her child! 

Ok, now here’s where it gets fun. Sheryl does try to commit filicide, but she does it while Gary is an adult. Avocato and Clarence both do it when their children are still children. Young and dependant and trusting. Sheryl does it while Gary is a grown ass adult.

This is an important distinction? All of it’s gonna be traumatizing, but Gary had already lived a large bit of his life not knowing/hating his mom. Her trying to stab him (especially when he saw it coming.) is going to be way less traumatic than when Avocato held Lil’ Cato at gunpoint. Or when Clarence blindsided Fox.

Again! Not absolving her of her mistakes! She left Gary at his lowest moment, and only came back in his life after he sought her out, and then used him in a con. She is the world's shittiest mom, but I really hope to see her grow and be a better person and care for Gary. A) Because Gary deserves to be happy and a parental figure could go a really long way in that regard. B) Because Sheryl herself deserves it. We don’t know enough about her past to crucify her, all we know is that she is a flawed person who made massive mistakes, but who isn't? Olan made a beautiful world with amazing characters that aren’t black and white! Characters with depth and reasons behind their actions, characters who might have great intentions and still cause harm! (Quinn, Nightfall, and Avocato all sacrificing themselves RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR LOVED ONES. I GET IT, YOU HAD NO CHOICE, BUT LOOK AT THEM (Gary, Ash, and Lil’ Cato) THEY HAVE TRAUMA NOW).

And with all that talk about the characters being fully fleshed out people who are beautiful, let's talk about my least favorite character of all time. Clarence

This… Might get a bit character bashy, which I hate. Blackkat is right, if you can’t write a character without bashing them, you shouldn’t write them at all. Which I fully believed in, until I started writing and realised “Oh my God Clarence ticks off every irredeemable box I have I hate him so much.”

So, I’ll try to be unbiased? That being said, I am heavily biased and want Clarence to die.

So why do I hate Clarence? Why is he so much worse than the other characters on this list, on the show? Why do I think Hushfluffles/Tom deserves more mercy than this little goblin?

List of Crimes!

Abusive

Dismissive of his children

Betrayal

And the most successful attempt at Filicide we get to see so far.

He betrays the group, steals the keys and is going to ‘team-up’ with Sheryl. (I mean I’m not straight but I get it, Sheryl is a badass fighter, cool bandit, and if you don’t care for morals she’s an all-around interesting gal)

Fox is going to let him go, Fox wants him to stop, but he also won’t hurt his father.

Clarence in turn, tazes him, shorting out his biomechanical life support and sending him falling into the metal wall.

Later we find out that Clarence didn’t intend to kill Fox, that he only wanted the keys and was lashing out because his kids found a new family to love. And they didn’t love him as much.

Look I’m running out of steam but Clarence is selfish and self-serving (1) He’s greedy (2) And he actively hurts his family (3) Not just a passive, I’m sorry for the trauma when I almost killed you, let me make it up. Or the, hey I abandoned you shortly after birth because I never really planned on loving anyone, let alone you. Sheryl and Avocato fucked up bad, but they try to make up for it (Sheryl we only see being ‘good’ for about 5 minutes, but still) Clarence only apologizes once he realizes he has nothing left, all because of his own greed.

“I abandoned everything I had in the world for you! You can’t leave me with nothing!

“Aw yeah, but you see, you left yourself with nothing.”

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 117: The Zoo

“Can you blame ‘em?”

Every Western story about a return journey can be compared to The Odyssey if you squint hard enough, and while Steven’s rescue of Greg has already featured poor decisions and a cyclops, The Zoo is our most obvious reference point to a trial of Odysseus: in this case, the Lotus Eaters. 

Does it make sense that such a small population could genetically reproduce this long? Let alone that distinct races would still be a thing in this inevitably incestuous family tree spanning millennia? Does it make sense that everyone here is roughly the same age, with barely any old people or children? Or that they’re speaking English, a language thousands of years younger than the last human abducted for the Zoo before Greg? Of course not, this is a nonsensical system. But if the choice was eleven minutes going over hyper-realistic minutia of how this system works (most likely, these folks are divided into small packs and we’re just seeing one of many groups) versus an interesting fable about free will and the conflict between hedonism and responsibility, I’m good ignoring the massive leaps required for the Zoo to hold logical water.

A thorny ethical question presents itself here: if the Zoomans are eternally happy and safe, to the point where they don’t understand the concept of “hurt,” is it such a bad thing that they lack free will? To us, freedom is such an obviously good thing that its value is taken as a given, but all choice does here is make the Zoomans unhappy for the first time since an incident long ago enough to be the stuff of legend. This is a group of people whose culture predates Ancient Greece and is still going strong, outlasting any human civilization that’s ever existed on Earth by an impossibly huge degree, so what right do we have to think our moral code is superior to theirs?

The Zoo is dystopia by way of Dora the Explorer, a perfect prison that has babied its inhabitants for so many lifespans that they can’t even fathom disrupting the system. A friendly voice tells them what actions to take to have fun (Smell the flowers! Go to bed! Swiper, no swiping!) and the Zoomans obey without hesitation; they are essentially to humans what modern dogs are to wolves, a domesticated and perpetually juvenile version of the original model. But they certainly aren’t a different species in that way (dogs diverged from wolves genetically tens of thousands of years ago, rather than a paltry 5,000); we see that the Zoomans are quickly capable of making choice when the idea is planted, but they choose to listen to the little voice. Is it ethical to give them the information to make a more informed choice? My gut says yes, but that’s based on a moral code developed by a society that, like English, is much younger than Zooman society.

The second question that arises from the first is the morality of Pink Diamond’s actions. From a Gem perspective, it’s a no-brainer: free will isn’t a societal good to them, so even if Earth wasn’t destroyed as originally planned when the Zoo was built, bringing people to a paradise whose only cost is freedom is an obvious win. This matters a lot for Blue Diamond, who’s still patronizing in her “saving” of Greg but clearly means well by her own alien metrics of good and bad. And in that way, on first viewing, Pink’s behavior becomes far less ambiguous than “evil alien kidnaps humans.” If she’s anything like Blue, she considered it a favor, and that alone characterizes her more than anything else we know at this point.

In retrospect, the Zoo is more clearly a half-measure taken when Pink was trying and failing to stop the colonization she began. This conflict wasn’t short, and it’s great to see evidence of Pink trying smaller ways to help humans before realizing that more drastic actions were necessary, rather than her just jumping straight to full revolution. The fact that the Zoo is still a thing after her permanent shift to Rose Quartz, however, is one of many indicators of Pink’s childish selfishness. She didn’t release the humans she abducted, just as she didn’t think of how her faked murder might have more violent consequences than a freed Earth. I call the selfishness childish because it comes not from malice, but seemingly not knowing any better. This is the self-centeredness of somebody who’s never had any reason to not be self-centered, which doesn’t absolve the harm she causes, but makes her more interesting than a true monster.

While the Gem perspective is clear, Steven provides an ardent opposition to the concept of paradise without choice. At no point is he tempted by a life free of worries, valuing his ties to an existing life despite its many warts. And while Greg shows a few hints of falling for the Lotus Eater trap in his more relaxed attitude towards captivity, it’s crucial that his support of Steven trumps the comfort of this new reality; an entire episode about Greg measuring an easy life versus his son’s happiness, while in keeping from the weird shitty version of Greg we met in House Guest, would’ve been ruinous to his actual character. He’s still chill, and encourages Steven to chill as well for his own well-being, but never goes further in trying to stay at the Zoo; we even know that he tried to escape before Steven arrived.

While their long-awaited reunion is sweet, my favorite Steven'n’Greg moment is the realization that amethysts will likely arrive in response to pain. Steven’s insistence that Greg hit him comes from both impatience and the knowledge that he can take a punch, but Tom Scharpling perfectly captures how insane this sounds to Greg. Even though he’s physically weaker than his superhumanly powerful son, Greg’s willing to get hurt in his kid’s place. And still, Steven hesitates, because neither of these people wants to hit the other despite the circumstances. Finally, after Steven’s punch sends Greg flying, I appreciate his idea to try punching him again; to me, it’s representative of how much Steven thinks of his dad, because he just assumes this middle aged dude is tough enough to shrug off such a blow.

The two lead Zooman representatives sorta blend together, but I think that’s the point: in a society where conformity is the only option, everyone’s bound to act similarly. They’re both portrayed well enough to avoid boring tropes associated with characters like this (we don’t get airy hippies or droning disciples): Cristina Vee’s Jay-Ten and Lamar Abrams’s Wy-Six are delightfully dopey and just a little bit self-superior when things they find obvious are a mystery to our heroes. Vee doubles as the Little Voice, which is correctly played without a hint of menace, and while Abrams has already proven himself as Buck Dewey, I’m impressed by his ability to play a fully different character just as well (he’s also Garbanzo, who also sounds distinct, but he only says his own name so there’s not much room to measure differences).

While I have no idea whether the pun is intentional, I am all about these people raised beyond the stars being spacier than our more grounded Earthlings. Still, their one-note nature means that my favorite Zooman moments are actually Steven’s reactions to them. His quick decision to escape after being told to do “the bits” bit is low key hilarious, as is his bewilderment at their tiny splashes. These aren’t people that are going to make jokes or clever observations on their own, at least in a way that can match what their terrestrial counterparts can accomplish, but at least I never feel bored with the routine in a way that detracts from the episode.

In contrast to the mundane hedonism of daily life, the Choosening is just the sort of cultish jargon that one might expect from a society like this, and I love the familiarity implied in Greg’s world-weary comment that there’s always a catch with this sort of thing. We have no way of knowing how arbitrary the Choosening is, but considering Greg gets chosen Choosened right after arriving, it certainly seems random. While arranged marriage is obviously a thing on Earth as well, the power dynamics on the Zoo are more akin to forced marriage. But even this is colored by an earthly glimpse at an alien culture, because we don’t have any societies with an all-powerful overclass and a genuinely content and cared-for underclass. Is it really forced marriage if the parties involved are happy about it? Even if this is due to them being happy about everything that happens in this society? Are they really capable of true happiness when they’ve experienced no alternate emotions?

This is where the theme of choice versus happiness comes to a head, and it’s so important that we don’t get a tidy ending where free will is presented as a liberating alternative to a peaceful life of following orders. Choices allow for more meaningful happiness, but can lead to sadness as well; while this might seem obvious, I’m always down for children’s media explaining why negative emotions can be okay sometimes (see: Inside Out) and that a life free of pain isn’t necessarily good. It would be disingenuous for real choice to be presented without backlash to a society without free will, and we don’t even get to see how the situation resolves in the original series.

The amethysts march in to help, and Michaela Dietz wonderfully captures gruff warriors helping with emotional wounds. But we end the episode with the Zoomans in turmoil, abandoned by our heroes without a second thought. Based on how the system works, all it takes to reject the Little Voice is just deciding not to listen, and it hadn’t been done before because the Zoomans wanted to listen; again, it’s a tricky situation, because perhaps they do have free will and have chosen obedience. .

As in the last few episodes, we get a cliffhanger ending, but The Zoo bounces back from Gem Heist by having an actual complete story within the chapter. Steven and Greg make a meaningful impact on the Zoomans, but whether it’s for better or worse is up in the air. Our heroes gain the option to eat lotuses in peace for the rest of their days, but choose freedom instead. And they reinforce their bond by sticking together through it all. Now they just have to escape a space station crawling with Gems and find their missing friends and fly home, and that will be all!

Future Vision!

The Zoomans finally return in Steven Universe Future, where their utopia has been expanded to include the Famethyst and Holly Blue. They may be running the station, but they choose to live the way they always have. They’re also petty as hell, which is an excellent development for their passive society.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

While I appreciate the moral questions prompted by The Zoo, and enjoy the episode itself, it’s not quite something that I’d say I love. There’s nothing I find wrong with it, but it lacks a certain amount of oomph that might make it worthy to stand alongside the likes of Alone at Sea or Maximum Capacity in my rankings; this is a high concept episode that has decent character work, but ratio of focus on concept to character doesn’t align with what I love about Steven Universe.

It’s weird to put it in the same category as Gem Heist, because I like The Zoo a lot more, but this is what I get for not having way too many categories. Enh, I can live with it.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist

The Zoo

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[livvyplaysfinalfantasy]

The last section of the 4.2 main scenario, with most of the plot development out of the way, involves further insight into Asahi sas Brutus and his motivations. We've learned that he has come supposedly to negotiate peace between Doma and the Empire, plus many reasons to doubt his sincerity. But as a bit of a distraction from the political discussions, Asahi asks that you, Alisaie and Yugiri accompany him for a tour around the very region where he grew up. This tour passes uneventfully at first, with Asahi remarking at several points how Garlean rule ultimately affected Doma for the worse.

No kidding.

But as you make your way to the town of Namai, you find Isse and Azami in the road, being accosted by Kojin of the Red. These Kojin were Yotsuyu's former mercenaries. Asahi is first to spring to the children's defense - and when the Kojin are defeated, with your and Alisaie's and Yugiri's help, he's also the first to comfort Azami. He refers to the Kojin's murderous behavior as "desperation", and "mismanagement" on the Empire's part. When Yugiri finally calls him out at 11:18 for taking such an apparently dim view of the Empire despite allying with it, he says that it's crucial to "look beyond narrow allegiances," and that the only way to change the Empire is not through external conflicts but through "change from within."

This then prompts a choice in the Warrior of Light's dialogue that, like similar branching points, feels entirely too binary to be of much use: either you agree wholeheartedly with Asahi's stated goal of internal (read: nonviolent) change of an evil empire, or you state that the Empire will never change at all. That the first choice is even offered in the first place seems to downplay everything that the Garlean Empire has stood for thus far in XIV's entire storyline, particularly in 4.0. We have seen absolutely no indication that the Garlean Empire, as a figure of imperialism, will ever change without direct opposition, because Garlemald would have to stop being an empire for it to change in any meaningful way. Similarly, while we have seen plenty of good and honest and noble Garlean characters, they have all chosen to forsake the Empire expressly because of its imperial policies; in all the years of XIV's story, we know of absolutely no one within the Empire who would be able to bring about the kind of internal change Asahi is describing, except for maybe Asahi himself, and that's assuming the player has completely missed every single villain cue thus far. On the other hand, while it is true that the Garlean Empire will (by definition of it being an empire) never change, this response seems to conflate all Garleans with imperials - an implication that’s furthered when Asahi immediately compares Ishgard's reformation to a wholly theoretical Garlean reform, which feels completely irrelevant to the question at hand. No matter how awful Ishgard's thousand-year theocratic rule was, no matter the atrocities it inflicted upon dragons, Ishgard’s steadfast isolationism was not comparable to Garlemald’s aggressive expansionist policy in any real and meaningful way.

Back at the Doman enclave, Hien is apprised of the Red Kojin's attack. Of course, neither he nor the others seem to be able to decide whether or not to trust Asahi. That said, Hien believes that the Garlean ambassador's demands will be easy enough to meet: the Domans do not practice summoning, and the stores of aether in the Kojin's sacred relics will take a long time to be restored. As Hien sees it, the only other "unfinished business" left to attend to is Yotsuyu's fate.

And so he enters the chambers where Gosetsu and Yotsuyu are being held, and he draws his katana with the intention of killing her. As he speaks to her deliberately for the first time in the entire patch, he says that she "should be at the bottom of the river" despite her tragic life. Again, Yotsuyu still has no memory of her past actions. Gosetsu argues on her behalf, saying that the "sins" of Doma's occupation lie with both those who gave the orders and the soldiers who carried them out, and that Yotsuyu has no sin to atone for without the memory of her crimes. This explanation completely bypasses the notion that not all of the cruelties that took place in Doma came from the Empire, or even as a result of war: it absolves Yotsuyu's family of their abuse, and it absolves Jifuya again of enslaving Yotsuyu. This distinction is important, considering so much of 4.1's main scenario focused on the flaws in Ala Mhigan politics and society that existed both before and after the Empire. The fact that hardly any attention is paid by comparison to the apparently deeply entrenched mistreatment of women like Yotsuyu, and that none of Doma's main cast see it as a priority to be addressed, makes this entire arc and its notions of morality feel that much more arbitrary. In the end, Hien listens to Gosetsu as the old samurai explains that he believes it to have been "the will of the kami" for Yotsuyu to be given a chance at a new life without the memories of her sins: speaking once more to Gosetsu, he says that Yotsuyu's life "is [Gosetsu's] to safeguard," furthering the idea that even in what is supposed to be her second chance, Yotsuyu's life is not really her own.

Try as I might, I can't come to grips with Hien in this scene; there's no way for me to examine his actions without thinking he comes off as pointlessly unkind. Maybe there would be more understanding of Hien's behavior if the story addressed what he might be thinking. After all, he's confronted with the woman who did so much harm to him, to his loved ones, and to his countrymen; her arrival has thrown into question his plans for Doma's continued peace. But Hien's pain is not ever the focus of this story arc, and it's at odds with 4.2's portrayal of Yotsuyu as a pathetic figure who's capable and maybe worthy of redemption.

As the peace negotiations continue soon thereafter, Hien comes clean about Yotsuyu's state and proposes that she will be turned over as a prisoner only if she manages to regain her memory by the time the exchange occurs. (The overacting of "dango" here, and in later cutscenes, has become an inside joke among me and @traversingtherealm and others.) Regardless, Asahi goes to meet with Yotsuyu in private... and though they are gone for a long time, he offers no objections as to the state of their arrangement when he returns, agreeing that she has indeed lost her memory.

It's when you escort Asahi back to the Garlean airship that things get really interesting. In the midst of a private farewell to the Warrior of Light, he at last drops all pretense of joviality and goes - for lack of any better description - feral. He calls you "savior of the savages" and threatens you with "a reckoning," and from there you're launched into an Echo vision of an event from Asahi's past two years ago. Asahi participated in the bitter reprisal against Doma's revolution efforts - thereby proving that his supposed concern over Doma's state during his tour around Yanxia was a lie, since he was there while it happened - and he was cornered by samurai and shinobi. Only through pure luck did Zenos yae Galvus happen to stumble upon the battle and take down every Doman, to a man. A Doman soldier described this moment during 4.0's story as the point at which Zenos slew countless trained samurai and took up the katana for the first time. True to form, Zenos bears no interest for the soldier whose life he saved and is focused only on where he can find a formidable opponent - and an awestruck Asahi informs him that of Lord Kaien's continued rebellion, thereby showing us that Asahi may be indirectly related to the circumstances of Hien's father's death.

Upon returning from the vision, it becomes clear that that moment bore a great significance not only for Zenos and for Doma but for Asahi, who is staring at you with murderous intent for having been the one to kill his "lord." He goads you to strike him and thereby jeopardize Doma's prospects for peace. Ultimately you do nothing - and neither does Hien, even once you tell him that Asahi has been misrepresenting himself and his motivations throughout the entirety of the negotiations. The return of Doman prisoners of war has become top of mind for Hien, and rightly so - however, while Hien does not by any means trust Asahi, he is nonetheless determined to "play his game" to secure the prisoners' freedom and will make preparations just as he and Asahi agreed.

As far as Asahi goes... after having over a year to reflect on him, I can't entirely say for certain if I would have enjoyed his character more if the 4.2 story had been different. I'm intrigued by his connection to Zenos, and I think that his role as a purveyor of information about differing Garlean factions is fascinating - especially since he is so obviously not a trustworthy source of other information. That said, I can't reconcile these concepts with the knowledge that he was complicit in Yotsuyu's abuse - and it's difficult for me to enjoy him as a villain knowing that his existence contributes to an inability for her character to grow on both a textual and metatextual level.

The 4.2 story wraps up on that relative cliffhanger, with a couple of scenes to hint at what may be coming for the future. For starters, Asahi is thoroughly pleased with how things went, which can't be good for us. While Asahi met with Yotsuyu, he gave her a strange mirror - and alone in her chambers, she uses that mirror to try her hardest to remember who she is.

Meanwhile, in the Garlean capital, we see our first glimpse at... someone who may or may not be Zenos yae Galvus recovering in a medical wing, with heavy bandages around the neck that Zenos himself slit atop the Royal Menagerie.

[empty-movement]

The Comet and the Stars

CW/TW: Discussion of sexual assault, emotional abuse, events of episode 33, incest, um...everything? Look, it’s about Akio. :(

I discovered a comet earlier. It’s new. No one else knows about it yet. But I won’t tell anyone else about it. I won’t even name it. It’s amazing… The feeling of discovering a new heavenly body. You feel as though doing that makes it your property. But what’s in the heavens is in the heavens. It belongs to no one. ...It belongs to no one...

Goodnight, big brother.

Must you still torment me?

For twenty years, this scene has driven me nuts, and taking my cue from the man himself, I've just ignored it. The gist is obvious enough: Akio is gloating about seducing Utena and it backfires on him, but any dramatic weight or potential for analysis has been eclipsed for me by an unforgivable sin. In all previous translations, Akio uses ‘comet’ and ‘star’ interchangeably.

This is absurd coming from someone who, according to Ikuhara, probably teaches astronomy in the university. It also breaks the comparison he's making. I brought this up with our translation buddy at Nozomi, not asking him to fix it but more bemoaning my fate. After all, Akio does clearly use two different words…

It turns out that I didn't give enough credit, either to Akio or to Enokido, who wrote the episode, on why it’s worded this way. Though Akio begins by saying suisei, which is explicitly the word for comet, he continues into his little speech using hoshi. The latter is generally translated as ‘star’, but is actually not specific beyond ‘celestial body.’ (Had I been a Sailor Moon fan, I would have known this, as hoshi is used to refer to planets in it, apparently.)

As close as I can get to the experience after twenty years, this is like me getting to analyze a piece of Utena for the first time. It was a fascinating look at something I knew I wanted to explore, but couldn't, because it was broken. It’s fixed now. And I am digging in, because I’m Akio trash, toxic relationship trash, space trash, and analysis trash. (And also, this was homework/research for the Akio fic I wrote for the upcoming Utena Future Zine.)

This scene immediately follows episode 33, The Prince Who Runs In the Night, which ended with Utena and Akio having sex in a hotel room, an event framed by Akio and Anthy as ‘delivering roses’, and alluded to by Akio as ‘beautiful stars.’

Here, at the beginning of episode 34, The Rose Seal, having just had sex with his sister, Akio is in the mood to gloat. He begins to describe having found a new comet. This seems...unlikely. You’ve never seen Akio use a telescope. The entirety of his exploration of space is contained within a planetarium, a representation of the night sky, beholden to the accuracy bestowed by its creator. It’s incapable of letting him ‘find’ anything. Of course, that’s not a flaw. It’s a feature. Akio is choosing where the stars shine, even if outside of his world, this would not be up to him.

The stars are a metaphor, both in the context of the series, and Akio’s own use of them in conversation: the heavenly bodies he discusses are the people he controls. Everything Akio has said relating to the stars or the mythology surrounding them is ultimately about someone in the story, and there is always a contextual clue to indicate this. 

Later, he will go on to say “Actually, I have no interest whatsoever in the stars.” You can take this as him rejecting his own framing device, or you can take him as using the metaphor still: he doesn’t care about people at all. I think it's both. He never shows an interest in space that isn’t clearly bound up in its comparison to people, and he shows somehow even less regard for the people those stars represent. They’re at best playthings, and at worse, just a means to a repetitive, futile end.

It’s obvious that Utena’s the comet he has discovered, that no one else knows about. This is an unsubtle reference to ‘discovering’ Utena's virginity, and taking for himself the one piece of Utena that Anthy could not have ‘known about’ herself. Whether she wanted it or not is far less important than that it's something Akio was able to deny her. Right out of the gate, this is not nearly so much about his comet, as the person he's speaking to.

It is interesting though to consider if Akio is aware at all that Anthy's feelings for Utena could be romantic in nature. The choice of sex as a means to drive them apart does seem to speak to that, but it's also probably the move he'd make regardless of the nature of Utena and Anthy's relationship. Anthy's refusal to look at the ‘real’ stars Akio enjoys so much in the previous episode is framed rather like jealousy, but it's hard to say exactly for who or over what. Her reaction to this event is...complicated, despite her complicity implied by her assistance in “delivering the roses.” This is an especially eerie way to reference Akio's sleeping with Utena, given the bouquet, red and white roses mixed, follows them to the hotel room, sits on a chair, and is eventually is set in a vase. After all, the destination is already there. A similar bouquet is delivered to Akio’s office way back in episode 15, when he is first alone with Utena, suggesting Anthy’s awareness and involvement in Utena’s fate, including this rape, has been there from the start.

Having established this as a discussion about Utena, he goes on to say he isn’t going to tell anybody about this new comet, nor is he going to give it a name. A secret thing that’s yours because you found it… is no small power trip, and if he were talking about a comet, one could certainly imagine a few precious moments where the possession can be savored before the pleasure of sharing your discovery takes over. There is certainly some of this in how it pertains to Utena, but more pointedly this is an act of aggression. And this, the fact that comets aren’t stars, is why the mistake in translation literally destroys beyond repair this entire bit.

Comets are temporary visitors in the night sky, they flash brilliantly but ultimately will only be there for a little while before going on their way along a much larger orbit. (Ruka is another comet, shown coming down in the window in episode 28, then departing in 29.) Stars, for all intents and purposes, are fixed bodies. Things that reliably stay where you expect them to. They aren’t going anywhere.* Akio is reminding Anthy that Utena, sweet as she is, is a temporary visitor in their sky. She may shine brighter than most, but her path will eventually lead her away. Don’t get too attached, Anthy, to a thing that will soon disappear.

To Akio, there’s no point naming her. He only concerns himself with what's in his domain, and if she’s going to leave it anyway, she can do so namelessly. This is exactly what happens: the students forget her, struggling to recall her name not long after her departure. By refusing to name this comet, he’s rejecting her in advance of needing to do so, anticipating her departure, and planning her erasure. I’m not going to name her, because she isn’t going to be part of our world.

He goes on to say how wonderful and fun it is to discover a comet and then keep it to himself. No one finds comets if they don’t look for them, and if they’re looking for them, they’re doing so out of passion for the hunt. But he’s talking about Utena, making it about how much pleasure he takes in the hunt of innocence, and its subsequent destruction. Though certainly no excuse for his actions, this seems to me like it would be a satisfying preoccupation for the fallen prince, denied his former glory by the endless, fatal demands innocent princesses placed on him. Ohtori Academy could be read, cynically, as an elaborate mockery of a fairy tale world that he has created just to play out this story, over and over.

But what’s in the heavens is in the heavens. Or more simply “A comet is a comet.” On some level, Captain Obvious is aware of the nature of the coffin he lives in. He makes reference to the world outside and is to some limited extent in communication with it. He knows within his sphere, time is arrested. He knows, I think at varying levels of conscious awareness, that the world he’s the ends of is not the entirety of the earth. In this comment, he extends the temporality of Utena’s presence to not just being true for Anthy, but him as well. Utena will leave, and who will be left? Just the two of them, still together under the same sky, though their comet is no longer in it.

The comet belonging to no one is an elaboration of this point, and probably the closest Akio inadvertently gets to a moment of genuine self-awareness. The discovery of a comet makes him feel like it’s his...but it’s not. It’s a comet, and it will leave the sky they live under regardless of what either of them does to it.

He repeats this line again. It gnaws at him, because it strays too close to the subject of his own limitations. This started as a threat that he can ruin this creature Anthy’s grown fond of, and as he expanded the point, it became tinged with reassurance that Utena is a passing fling for both of them. But Akio, in a hurry to absolve himself of any real culpability, ends up admitting, certainly by accident, that Utena isn’t a passing fling because that’s what he’d prefer. Akio won’t keep her because Akio can’t keep her.

On some level, he is aware that his control is not absolute. This comet that has appeared is not his to keep, and while he may budge its trajectory to his own ends, ultimately...he can’t force it to do anything. He can’t force anyone to do anything. He can trick, cajole, coax...but his perception of his own capacity to control the world around him does not line up accurately with reality, and he knows this. Deep down.

Because while illusions may belong to him, reality belongs to no one…

Anthy leaves when she does knowing he’s been made vulnerable by his own contemplation. Not only does she not care to offer any comfort, she is ignoring both his empty threat and his hollow reassurance. After all this peacocking, and the dark place he inadvertently led himself, she tells him by her passivity that, oops, sorry. She wasn’t listening.

Must you still torment me?

Yes. Because I don’t belong to you, either.

The give and take of love and resentment in Akio and Anthy’s relationship reaches levels of toxicity that would make Chernobyl blush. They dance constantly around their codependency, swiping at one another, and then soothing each other in turn. “No one will ever know you as well as I know you.” becomes both a reassurance and a threat on their lips.

It’s Akio that does all the talking, and one could assume that’s usually the case, but Anthy wins this round by doing the one thing more dangerous to Akio than anything else: she ignores him. Hating him is a glue that binds her to him, and his rubbing her face in what he’s done to their young comet smacks of an attempt to reinforce that attachment, negative thought it is. As long as she’s wrapped up in her hatred and resentment of him, she’s not going to be able to move on. Their hostility to one another is heavy with that awareness on both sides: they both know the ‘love’ the other has for them depends on that hatred, and neither really believes it could mean anything any other way. Neither dares invest in the idea that they could be genuinely loved for their own sake, so neither tries.

A fair bit of Akio’s dialogue in the climax of the series also seems geared to elicit contempt from Anthy, seeking this bitterness as a validation of her attachment. There’s a bit of lip service to the idea of them loving one another, but the form that takes is a hostile one, and it’s that hostility Akio is trying to drag from Anthy now. Anthy, knowing why he’s doing it and what he hopes to achieve, denies him...and enjoys it. After all, it’s how she swipes at him in turn, by reminding him that her veneer of compliance, her passivity as the Rose Bride, is a weapon she can aim just as readily at him. And he sees every day what it does to others, just as she’s made to watch what he does to their makeshift prince.

Akio’s seduction of Utena is a military action ending a cold war, and this scene is our first glimpse at what open hostility between these powers looks like. The Akio Arc and the Apocalypse Arc are not a distinction officially made by the series creators, but the presence of a ‘recap’ episode implies it, and the shift from one story arc to the next marks a gross change in the tone of Akio and Anthy’s relationship past any capacity either may have to salvage it. Akio is clearly aware what he has done angers Anthy, but he misjudges the severity of her reaction, having let himself be pretty much blind up to this moment to the distance Utena is putting between them.

But...why does he change terms? Why not just continue using the term that appropriately describes the subject? Well, I used to think this was done because it sounds better or something, and that certainly could be the case. However, it also creates a double entendre that isn’t exactly necessary to the point, but certainly enriches it. Hoshi is ‘celestial body’, hoshii, with the extended vowel, is ‘want.’ They do absolutely sound different in Japanese, however, they don’t sound so different that a Japanese speaker wouldn’t notice their similarity. Consider this:

I discovered something interesting earlier. It’s new. Something that no one else knows about yet. But I won’t tell anyone else about it. I won’t even name it. It’s amazing… The feeling of discovering something new to want. You feel as though doing that makes it your own. But...I want what I want. Though what I want belongs to no one.

Reworded to this, his speech doesn’t radically change in meaning. He’s still gloating about a thing he’s found and enjoyed, and he’s still eventually tripping over an awareness that he can’t keep it. The flavor of it changes though, it sounds far more world-weary, like someone aware of how infrequently a new thing to interest them comes along. That novelty is rare, and Akio, selfish creature that he is, would make it belong to him if he could. He can’t, though...and why is that?

Perhaps he’s aware that the very act of possessing this comet ruins what he likes about it. Under any condition where Utena becomes his possession, she stops being the innocent, spirited little prince he’s having such fun playing with. He knows possessing her would destroy what he enjoyed in the first place. This is a conundrum he shares with his ‘competitor,’ Touga. This interest, this distraction, is one that is entirely impossible for Akio to keep. It will elude him, and the satisfaction he feels at the destruction of a noble thing will be fleeting, leaving him only with the wreckage of Anthy’s anger, and none of the pleasure he feels now.

This is absolutely not to say I think Akio is remotely in love with Utena. I actually kind of had a hard time typing that sentence even. He enjoys the pursuit, perhaps, but more importantly, Akio lives to bring others down to his level. If everyone else turns out to be total garbage, it validates his decision to take the easy way out. To be garbage himself. Utena interests and pleases him so because she has that much farther to fall, and he appears, against his better interests given Anthy’s reaction, compelled to push her. But if Dios’ fundamental ambition was to save others, it seems reasonable to assume Akio’s is the opposite--he’s compelled to destroy what innocence crosses his path, and whether that is out of the programming inflicted on him by his very nature as a living archetype, or whether that’s a retaliation against others for the wounds he perceives have been inflicted on him and what’s his, meaning Anthy...I suppose depends on your reading of what exactly he and Anthy are. The former has been used in the past to frame Akio as unable to help himself any more than Dios does. I’ve never really liked that reading, because it removes the burden of responsibility he has for his actions by removing his agency in deciding what he does or doesn’t do. That just feels cheap to me, utterly out of line with the richness and complexity to be found literally everywhere in the series.

I think the world Akio and Anthy inhabit, that they’ve created for themselves, is such a dark place because both of them feel most comfortable there. Akio lashes out madly in hostility toward literally everyone that crosses his path, and though it is smoothed over and made attractive by his methods, the fact remains that Akio structures everything around him to service this ambition. He misleads, hurts, and ruins others, and does so with the point of view that he has a right to this. (‘Foolish mortal’ is translated this way because the word he uses, ikimono, literally implies like...minimal sentience.) The vengeance he takes on the world seems almost an addiction at this point, one he indulges to his own detriment as Anthy’s approval shifts from irritation to far beyond tolerance.  

This moment of reflection, where he admits, albeit briefly, that the toys he plays with aren’t his own, is one of very few moments in the series where you could even attempt to read his behavior as self-aware or something he struggles with. It suggests on some level Akio is aware that the world at large buzzes about without him, and that his petty tortures are ultimately meaningless, either as a means to real satisfaction, or as revenge for a wrong as great as the one inflicted on him. People are not his in the end, and they are capable of walking away from a garden he cannot. This is an interesting insight for him to have at the beginning of such open hostilities between him and his sister. What has been obvious to us as viewers for a very long time is starting, maybe, to sink through to him: Anthy is capable of leaving him.  Not threatening. Not using the distance as a bludgeon...but actually leaving.

If Akio could be capable of regret for his actions, this would be a moment for him to be so. He begins by gloating, but ends this dialogue aware that something went wrong with this particular ‘discovery’...and his greed for its destruction, his selfishness, and his resentment toward all things innocent and pure are all little satellites orbiting what I think is the biggest insight Akio risks having here. Akio is not entirely sure what he just did to this girl will be without consequences. That he might have gone a bit too far, a bit too late, and left himself with an Anthy he can’t be nearly so sure of anymore.

The open hostility between the siblings from this point forward stems from that spiraling trust he has in his grip on what, so far as he believes, sustains him. The game played now aims as much to sever Anthy from her attachment to this little creature as it does to creating a prince out of her. Akio is starting to be afraid.

Thanks for reading, if your crazy ass got this far! I know Akio isn’t exactly the hot topic everyone loves to talk about, but I find him uniquely compelling for all the reasons we don’t want to talk about him, and if any of this was interesting to you, I’ll be glad of it! :D As always, any feedback or whathaveyou is welcome. If you need some seriousness bleach, here, have a stupid picture:

PS. Happy birthday, Akio! Sorry about the long essay totally ripping into your weaknesses and calling you a scared little man.

* Akio pointing out Venus (‘the morning star’) as a comparison to himself earlier in the series is especially rich given this entire framing device. Venus, like the other planets, masquerades as a star, and you can’t really tell the difference without a telescope. However, unlike the fixed stars, it moves about freely in the night sky, appearing to be one thing while behaving in another way. Just as Akio appears to be the Trustee Chairman of the Board, but moves about across his sky as Ends of the World. Just as he appears one of us, he is something altogether different, and altogether closer than we realize.