#i think some creative choices they make are subconscious and we just find a way to put their meaning into words

[nuka]

No but I need to actually talk about the title "Our Flag Means Death" and why I love it so much!!!

Before I watched the show, I thought the name was about pirate flags. About someone being on a ship, and then seeing another ship and realizing their flag is a pirate flag, and knowing they're going to attack and kill everyone. Seeing a pirate flag at sea equals death.

Then I started watching season one and I realized the show was actually about a ship full of queer people. And I thought, oh, the name makes so much sense, because being queer is so often a death sentence. We're so often facing violence, or the threat of violence, just for being queer, for wearing our pride flag.

And then it turns out to be a show about queer joy, which I did not expect, at all. About choosing love and kindness and hope over any amount of violence and death that the world might throw our way. About choosing to accept and celebrate who we are. About choosing to heal and live.

To me, the show's name means that we're hoisting our flag, knowing full well we might face death for it, but choosing to do so anyway, because we're not going to live in fear and shame anymore. We're not going to hide and make ourselves small. We're going to live true to ourselves and protect each other, and always choose joy over tragedy, and believe that one day the world will have changed and then our flag won't mean death anymore.

Because we've discovered our flag can mean so much more than that.

[cookinguptales]

🦆 Tarot ask, if you have time

what's on my mind: creative writing projects

song inspiration: "Game On!" from the Ocean's 8 soundtrack, or really anything on that soundtrack since I'm writing a heist story

Thanks so much! No worries if you're overloaded with asks

Ooh, heists are so fun to write. I hope you have a good time!

Game On! (Daniel Pemberton, Ocean's 8)

(Ace of Wands (reversed), The Chariot (reversed), Queen of Swords)

Hmm. Might you be suffering from writer's block, friend? If so, I think it might be wise to remember that old advice, if you're struggling with this sentence, the real problem might be a few paragraphs back.

The Ace of Wands is typically a really positive card about potential and inspiration and new projects. It's really fun to see when you just start writing! But... it's reversed here. That often means that you're struggling with finding your way forward. You might be feeling a little aimless, or like something is blocking your progress. In other words, writer's block. :(

Next, we have The Chariot. Again, this is a card that's usually about forward motion and willpower. But it's reversed again. That usually means that you're feeling really frustrated because things aren't going the way you want them to. You feel blocked. But there's also an element of stubbornness to The Chariot, for better or for worse. When you're doing well, this stubbornness can be a boon. But when things aren't going well, sometimes it doesn't serve you as well. You may need to stop trying to butt your head against a wall and instead look for other ways forward. You may have to change something about your story in order to move forward. What's stopping you might be your own subconscious telling you that this isn't right.

As for advice to go forward, we have the Queen of Swords. This is a woman who's very wise and always in pursuit of the truth -- and frankly, she won't accept any bullshit. She cuts right to the heart of things, which can make her unpopular, perhaps, but also deeply effective.

There's that phrase that writers hate to hear... "Kill your darlings." It means that sometimes you have to cut out something you love to make the final product stronger. It could be something small, like a line. It could be a storyline that's not working. It could be an entire character that just isn't moving things forward.

I don't actually recommend deleting these things altogether; instead, I like to put those things in another document somewhere. Not dead, but sleeping. It's soothing to know that I can always come back to them later when they might better suit the project.

But for now... I think you're going to have to look at your story and make some hard choices. You might need to go back a ways to the last time when it felt like it was flowing smoothly and rewrite from there. You might need to identify an element of your story that you really love! But that might not be moving things forward.

Good luck! I know the struggle of a writer well and I hope you're able to make something that you're proud of! 💜

[farfromstrange]

There was something so wrong about 2022 that it all feels like a long, bad dream now.

I’m writing this before I can get blackout drunk tonight. This is a small thank you note to all of you, and a bit of a rant as well.

I lost some of my best friends this year, most of them I’ve known for almost ten years. I also got a job, then quit my job again because customer service is a hellhole swallowing everyone who works there, my grades suffered and my mental health took a mortal hit. At some point this year, I actually thought I wasn’t going to make it. Though as 2022 comes to an end, I have started to reflect on the past 12 months and realized something.

If I hadn’t joined this fandom, I probably wouldn’t be alive today. And if I hadn’t decided to publish Foreigner’s God, I probably wouldn’t be here today. It’s surreal to think how many new people I’ve met during the past five months just through bonding over our favorite fictional character. I started writing as an escape YEARS AGO, I just never thought my work would actually get (positive) attention, but it did and now I’m here. It’s truly insane and I could cry, that’s how thankful I am.

The reviews on all of my work are astronomical and I’m so overwhelmed by the love you’ve given me, my heart is so full right now.

At the beginning of this year, I never thought I would meet Charlie Cox either. It was just a fever dream of mine. And yet I did. That man saved my life. I owe him and his work so much, especially this year, and I want nothing more than to tell him that. But knowing I’ve met him gives me some sense of closure and it brings a smile to my face whenever I see the picture of us on my wall…

The Matt Murdock and Charlie Cox fandom pulled me out of a very dark hole and I can’t even put into words how thankful I am. And I’m a writer, words should come naturally. But there is not a single word that could sum up the kind of love and gratefulness that I’m filled with whenever I get to interact with you.

Writing Eliza and Matt’s story has made me into a different, more reflective person. I managed to deal with some of my own mental issues through that story. I’m so glad I made the choice to write this and then publish it too… I don’t even want to know how my life would look like if I hadn’t. And when I started writing reader inserts, it felt like I finally created something great, a space for all of us to come together and bond over Matt Murdock and Daredevil, not just with Foreigner’s God but with my writing in general. I created a creative world for myself and I invited you to join, which you did, and now I’m happier than ever. I finally have something to look forward to and it makes me so happy to hear that some of you (if not most) feel the same way. Writing is supposed to be fun not only for the author but for the writers as well, and I think I managed to do that, even though angst is my primary focus. (Let’s ignore the smut, even though we are in for a wild, horny ride next year).

My writing also improved a lot, all thanks to you and all of this practice I have now. I feel like I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and perhaps find my life’s purpose along the way. I’m graduating next year, I’ll be turning 20 in no less than three weeks and everything is about to change – the only constant I have right now is you. This fandom offers me an escape from the brutal reality that’s about to hit me in the face any second now, and I can’t not continue. I need to stay sane somehow. Thank you for subconsciously helping me through everything this year! Please, don’t ever change. This is a place where you can be whoever you want to be. In fact, I encourage you to do so.

I like to think that the universe chose to have mercy on me and that’s why I’m where I am right now. You guys are the one thing I look forward to the most in the next year and I can’t wait for what’s to come. Thank you!

Have a great start into the new year and if there is something you need to rant about, my inbox is always open!

Here’s to 2023! Don’t disappoint us.

With love,

Lizzi <3

[Ps: stay safe tonight! New Year’s Eve can get quite dangerous and the holidays are hard for a lot of people, so just take care of yourselves! I love you <3]

[thegardenoflights]

Hi dear,

I've been having very realistic dreams lately. Big forests, crowded and bright places… In my last dream i met a man who said he was a witch. What are my dreams trying to tell me? I would be very happy if you help me. Thanks.

Hello there! this is a very interesting question! I’m sorry if this is a little later than expected as well.

Before I read any cards, I’ll just leave my personal take with you as it might resonate. To me, having more vivid and memorable dreams is a sign of your intuition and spiritual awareness expanding. You tapping into your subconscious self with a lot more consciousness at this time, and it’s great for the subconscious can withhold things about yourself that can be helpful, and dreams to me are always a connection to the subconscious mind and the divine in some way.

Personally, I think dreaming is when our subconscious self opens up to the divine, and how we explore the divine.

Anyway, this is only my personal take of what could be happening for you as well as the following messages :)

So the cards I have pulled for you are The Lovers in Reverse, The Moon in Reverse, The Nine of Swords, The Nine of Wands and The Queen of Wands.

Firstly, i believe my previous thoughts are right with The Moon in Reverse. The Moon is always a symbol for intuition and the inner spiritual world. In Tarot, it represents, illusion, fantasy, the subconscious and dreams. In the reverse position, it is telling me that you are getting these messages to receive and epiphany in some kind of way… your dreams are wanting you to see through something and find clarity… you may have already had this realisation or it may soon come to pass.

What this realisation might be about is a current relationship you are in, or your current relationship to yourself. This is shown by The Lovers in Reverse. There is a disconnection ed relationship here, where things aren’t in harmony. There could be a lack of communication with someone important to you, or this could be referring to choices you are making that part of yourself disagrees with. if this doesn’t refer to an imbalanced relationship, this could refer to a side of yourself you are repressing. this is only part of the message your dreams are telling you though.

With the Nine of Swords, you may have been getting nightmares and scary dreams as well as these ones, or these dreams are giving you a lot of anxiety at the moment. this is probably because you are facing some kind of anxiety and fear in your day to day life. you might worry a lot, or even have an anxiety disorder.

The symbolism of your dreams… of the big forest and the big crowds could be relating to a feeling of being lost and trying to find yourself.

The Nine of Swords is followed by The Nine of wands and this is a great card i think is at the core of your message here. This is a card of resilience and persistence, from all this anxiety I am picking up from in this situation, i’m getting a good amount of calm and collect. I’m getting that there is a lot of support behind you, and this comes from a part deep within yourself, and what your dreams might be showing you is your own true deep potential to get past your own fears. The more you become aware of your thoughts and fears the more you know how to face them. And then following this card is the Queen of Wands, the most confident, creative and a powerful woman.

I have a feeling that your dreams are speaking of a kind of evolution, they want you to realise these deeps fears, of this relationship to yourself or with another person, are the first step are to evolving and growing to be more resilient in order to become the Queen of Wands.

Another thing as well, I always see The Queen of Wands as a Witch… this could also be referring to the Witch in your dreams. You might be drawn to Witchcraft and Magic or already practice it and this is telling you that you are on the right path in communicating with the spiritual world, if you aren’t, maybe you should research a little bit about the craft and see if it strikes you as something you would be interested in. because what i see from this is some kind of awakening to your intuition, and this is going to be a great time for you to hone in this skill and use it to your benefit 🥰

i’m sorry if this is very long! i hope you enjoyed and be sure to send some feedback!

[velvetporcelain]

connected via consciousness and other conspiracies

Why is it that I feel like sometimes consciousness is connected even though two people are not talking?

I don’t know if I can use the right words to explain this, or I even have a solid grasp on this concept just yet.

I feel like people can be connected this way. Why am I thinking this? I don’t really know it myself, but I feel it in a way. Like my brain is connected to something outside of itself.

When I drive alone is when I do the deepest thinking. And I was thinking this on my way home tonight. More so thinking about how I can easily explain this phenomenon.

While sitting in the parking lot waiting for my son to leave work, I just listened to music instead of trying to apply it to any sort of feelings that would come forth, if that makes sense. I took the comb I always keep in my purse and throughly brushed my hair and it was the most me I’ve been in months. It felt so good.

I decided that I was going to put out some super creative outfits this week. This weekend I had succumbed to the temptation of a solid pair of fleece lined black leggings. I don’t mean to gag, but it triggers me into some type of motherly nightmare of when I would wear the same leggings and oversized tee for days. Completely drained and exhausted enough to not give a fuck.

I want to give a fuck, I want to give a fuck about me. And I do that through my clothing. An underrated expression of art. Fashion ignites many things for me. If I had to choose one I don’t think I could because I have a million words coming at me.

My hair I have been preserving for such a long time. I am bias on the art of hair. I have changed it so many times throughout my life that I have really been wanting to put in some serious fucks about my hair. It’s just the way I want it and you know what they say about messing up a good thing. 😉 I admire the effort I give myself because I went so long without effort, completely forgetting my creative potential. Fear of repetition keeps me disciplined. Besides it has really become something like a beautiful dark chocolate color.

I’ve already decided that it was going to be a beautiful week of self discovery for me because that seems to be when I am the most productive. So much energy I have pulled back into myself and I am having such an intimate experience with myself. I am able to withdrawal from the two contrary parts of me and become an observer. I want to be confident this week in my lower level decision making. I want to know what I like and how I like things while also considering the lives of those these choices impact. That is the vow I made when I had children.

We will forever be intertwined, and I accepted that a long time ago.

Today was easy, today was cool. I got to really know my son’s new friend from school and they were happy to explain to me how Minecraft works and what they like in life. I get so much information from their innocence that it really helps me ask them questions that seem to really connect our consciousness. Especially in a very unconscious world. Hopefully he also enjoyed his time here in my home.

I try to be as present as possible. Since I can’t really find any good examples in any book about being present, I give it my own definition. Being present can be a bit blushing, I blush when I am present. The overwhelming feeling of connection sorta sends me up a spiral staircase and I become very engaged in the moment. Being present presents great opportunity for connection, it is why I think most people are anxious about interaction. We are so used to living in the past of future that we are unable to actually handle the present advantageously.

What do we talk about? How personal do we get? How relatable do we become? How eager are we to spill our minds out on the table? How willing are we to let others sift through the things we think define our personalities? I don’t think people reject people “just because” I think people get a good subconscious sense of how easy or difficult it would be to establish connection. Some are intimidated and reject instantly, but some want to know before they decide whether they would be able to establish something viable out of the person. This is only what I think, not really what I know.

I think a lot of things are carelessly left in the hands of our imagination. When we become adults our imagination has the ability to really turn against us somehow and almost always tends to creates anxious and fearful images of things even if they have yet to experience whatever or whoever it is. Indirectly rejecting themselves, not the person. I don’t take this process personally anymore. I used to do this quite often until I realized that I would never want to reject myself again. There is nothing to forgive since this is simply a projected feeling that I will not allow to affect me. I respect any choice to reject, but if I will not tolerate it from myself, I will not tolerate it from others, so I adjust and act accordingly without the consequences of “bad feelings.”

Wow, once again I am impressed with my notations of life and interactions among that life. I am here to experience, and I will not reject any lesson simply because it did not or will not go my way. I am a better and smarter learner than that. I only know this because these were my interpersonal short comings if you will.

I still figuring out what it means to be “toxic” which is defined differently by everyone. I get that and I think toxicity is subjective, I am teaching myself to not take this view in on a personal level, because it already seems so personal, if that makes sense.

I don’t think we suffer from flaws. I think we are very uniquely designed in the way we were supposed to deliver our message throughout our existence. It is much easier to label something a flaw if we cannot comprehend the message being given. Even from within ourselves. What we feel are our short comings should always be known and placed in well preserved jars. They may just be useful for future understanding and could very well be seen as a special or instinctive aptitude or ability for doing something well. It’s sorta like we are all oddly shaped puzzle pieces, some just don’t go together. This does not reflect your worth, nor does it mean you have failed due to what you thought was flawed. It just is.

There has got to be some type of presence in me that continues to guide me in my research. I appreciate this very horizontal ideology that I have that continues to allow me to thrive. The ancient and current applied ideology is just that, ancient. It’s time for healthy mind reformation and I think humanity is really starting to get a tighter grip on the importance of a solid healthy mindset. I just hope it does not end up flowing into the vast ocean of big pharma and the deteriorating medical system.

I don’t really think that I am having trouble understanding anything at the current moment. I don’t really feel held back by my mind, only gently pushed forward. I’m learning how to shed fear of the unknown, fear of missing out, and fear of abandonment. These fears can really ignite your victim mentality. But there is no such thing if you are able to see yourself as the student, that is the basis of a victor mentality. Sure it will be a bit challenging removing the voice from a very vocal ego, but it is not impossible, and I’m convinced that everyone secretly loves a challenge.

It’s really time to pick yourself up off the floor of your mind and nurture your own consciousness. People desire to be carried through life and seem to forget how to use their own two feet. Forgetting how capable and resilient we were made while also considering how fragile and delicate it all is. Sure, I do believe we need to protect ourselves. But from what? Ourselves or others? How do we know when we are genuinely being detrimental or beneficial to our mentality? Or when we are allowing others to demean us by telling us what they think we need or want? I really believe that people don’t understand we are made so differently, and these differences can be so advantageous to a community of humans. Instead, we let it come in between us and does not allow us to progressively change in our communion. That’s why they say “history repeats itself.”

We need to work on sensitizing differences and block them from creating a negative inner monologue. Everything can be looked at positively. Especially when I read about the Jehovah witnesses pleading for execution in their time at concentration camps, accepting punishment on almost every level of sacrifice just so they can live in the kingdom. Running their hands together joyfully when told of their death. Damn——>🐇 🕳️

My hope is that the world will be forced to come to its senses and really form an unbreakable alliance. After all, I believe we as species, can become completely indivisible. But- how to we get there? Fuck. I don’t know, but I have a few ideas.

I must go, I must sleep, no more to think.

-x

[chehaylechandran]

BLOG POST 4-

YOUR CREATIVE PROCESS

Everyone expresses their actions and choices through what they do. The decisions they make are all based on how a certain individual goes about them, with similar outcomes everyone first starts off with their OWN thinking patterns and how they light their own lightbulb to pour out ideas.  

The creative process is a complex and often highly individualized series of steps individuals go through to generate new and valuable ideas, concepts, or works. It can vary from person to person and across different creative domains, such as art, music, writing, or problem-solving. 

While there is not one exact way that this process is established usually there is a solid dynamic that most follow, usually subconsciously to process and deliver ideas. 

According to WeWork Ideas, “Understanding the four stages of the creative process, and how science can teach us about our creative process and how to utilize the tools we already have.”

The four stages include; preparation, incubation, Illuminiations, and verification. 

In the preparation stage, I take the time to gather information, explore relevant concepts, and immerse myself in the subject matter. Conduct research, brainstorm, or simply allow ideas to marinate in your mind. This stage lays the foundation for creativity by building knowledge and understanding of the problem or topic.

In the next step, you step back from actively working on the problem or project. Your subconscious mind continues to work on the issue, and new ideas might emerge when you least expect them. This often happens during "aha" moments when you're doing something unrelated to the project. It is important to follow this step, for me, because when you take a look back at how all the puzzle pieces are fitting, there is almost likely something you can edit, replace, or get rid of. Most of the time taking a break allows one another to have a greater sense of accomplishment in the end result. 

Besides taking a step back from your work, the one thing that really can accelerate your process is sharing your process with other people. Just talking about how the wheel in your brain works, can spark inspiration for someone else or could bring a side that you never could see because of the other person's background knowledge. 

It is interesting to see how others indulge in your own work and what they take, which can further your knowledge and expand the idea of creativity. 

It's important to note that the creative process is not always linear, and it can be iterative. You may find yourself moving back and forth between stages as you refine your ideas and work on creative projects. Also, not all creative projects follow all these stages, and some may skip or repeat steps. Creativity is a dynamic and personal process that can vary from person to person, so it's important to find what works best for you and your specific creative pursuits.

####

[olderthannetfic]

your response to the everything everywhere all at once post: is THAT why american stuff looks so different than other countries’s?! i’ve always wondered what it was about american movies/shows that make them just look different

i could tell there wasn’t really a big difference in quality in things with similar budgets/time frames/production crews but there’s always been something off is it just that american stuff is filmed different?

--

I don't think it's entirely US-specific. It can be a genre and taste thing. But it can be more and less common in different places.

There's a certain look that has been favored for serious Hollywood movies but also for things that do well at Cannes, and it tends to overlap with what is now typical for premium cable dramas in the US, whether that's Game of Thrones or Breaking Bad.

A bunch of Korean movies and TV I've seen also look like this, and I wonder if this is part of why Korean directors are making some inroads in the US while we are ginormous dicks to most foreign and especially nonwhite creatives. Wong Kar-wai's work also looks like this.

US daytime soap operas and sitcoms don't. A lot of US kids' shows don't. Plenty of c-dramas with lavish sets and costumes don't. Some of them may have high budgets, but the way they're shot signals the wrong thing to me subconsciously and somewhat harms my full enjoyment of them.

Comedies tend to be color corrected and lit brighter than tragedies, so there's that too.

--

I'd be interested to know what specific media you've been comparing. We might be able to find some specific filmmaking choices that make things look different.

[oceanbaby888]

IN LOVE WITH VENUS!!! (Part 2)

Note: While I am not a professional astrologer, I love studying astrology and its aspects. Please do not reword/repost/steal my work!! Thank you so much.

HELLO AGAIN!!!

I am back again to finish the Venus series. Today we will discuss Libra-Pisces Venus signs! Thank you all so much for the love on Part 1 and I hope you learned alot. I know it basic, but I love helping people learn. I'm so excited to discuss PART 2!!!

LIBRA VENUS:

Venus is in its domicile in this placement. A Libra Venus loves harmony. They love aesthetics. Personally, I have observed that Libra Venuses and other Libra placements love the color pink, but that is just a personal observation. A Libra Venus is a connoisseur in the arts as well. Being that Libra represents 7th house themes such as partnerships, a Libra Venus may feel best or better when they are in relationships or always socializing with other people. This is even more so if the Libra Venus is in said person's 7th house. Not saying that a Libra Venus can not live without a relationship, but partnerships make them feel really balanced and they always love taking care of their partners. Its beautiful. Anything creative a Libra Venus wants to pursue, they will definitely either want it to be a team effort or they will consult many opinions from others that they trust. They care about people and their thoughts, but remember Libra Venus, you got this!!

SCORPIO VENUS:

While Venus may be in its detriment here, that does not mean a Scorpio Venus can not love. Actually, these are some of the most passionate lovers ever. Love is also loyalty to them, so remember that next time you want to pursue things with a Scorpio Venus. They are not the types to just date around. Not saying it isn't possible for them to do so, but a Scorpio Venus wants depth in their relationships. Yet, knowing all relationships don't work out, Scorpio Venus, your Pluto-ruled Venus means that through every relationship you change for the better. These are also the type of artists that create after a significant transformation or period in their lives. A Scorpio Venus puts their all, at least emotionally, into their creative endeavors as art is not surface and a Scorpio Venus needs a way to translate their feelings. Some people may not understand a Pluto-ruled Venus way of expressing themselves, but who cares? Scorpio Venus never hold your true emotions back. You feel it, so create with it.

SAGITTARIUS VENUS:

I feel like this is such an interesting Venus sign. A Sagittarius Venus is open to love. They see love as an adventure and a learning opportunity. They love being with people and you may find a Sag Venus that has diverse partners. Being a Jupiter-ruled Venus, they are always learning from their partners as well, esp if they come from different backgrounds (cultural backgrounds, socioeconomic backgrounds, etc). It is so interesting. When it comes to their creativity, a Sagittarius Venus will use their creativity to teach! Teaching is a Jupiter-ruled theme, and its almost impossible for a Sagittarius Venus to create something and not hope that the world around them learns from it or is impacted. These people are fun-loving, carefree, and live their lives like tomorrow is not coming. Their relationships can also be a catalyst to understanding themselves on a more spiritual level.

CAPRICORN VENUS:

Having a Saturn-ruled Venus is not easy for a Capricorn Venus. Actually no Saturn placement is easy, but anyway a Capricorn Venus is the type to view love or partnerships more traditionally. These people may take on the viewpoints of how they saw their parents together or how their family views love. A Capricorn Venus is not super uptight like some may think, yet they are serious about what they want and don't want out of a relationship. It's not to be picky, but it is no point in wasting a Capricorn Venus' time if you are not going to be committed to the relationship as much as they will be. Being a Saturn-ruled Venus, these people may feel better dating someone older than them (reasonably older should I add). A Capricorn Venus likes creative endeavors that are closely related to what they want to do in their careers, or said endeavor can become their career. Capricorn represents 10th house themes such as career and public status, so a hobby isn't just a hobby, they know it can be a potential business if they really want to do it. A Capricorn Venus is more of a traditional individual when it comes to their values, but they know that their love and deep and reserved for the right individual.

AQUARIUS VENUS:

This Venus placement is not talked about much but we're gonna talk about it!!!! An Aquarius Venus does not view love as serious as Capricorn Venus deeming they are both traditionally ruled by Saturn. However, that does not mean an Aquarius Venus will just go off and date anyone. An Aquarius Venus does not view love as a box or maybe as traditionally as others may, but connection is their most important aspect. Being an air venus, Aquarius Venus connect with you based on the ideas you have and what your views are. If they don't like it, you won't get a text back lol. Which is why many may question an Aquarius Venus love choices, but just know that it is because they person they are with connects with them!! Especially in terms of ideas since Aquarius rules 11th house themes like ideas and goals. An Aquarius Venus may end up in relationships with people they were once close friends with as Aqua rules friendships and communities. In terms of their creativity, an Aquarius Venus may spend their time in tech, advocacy, or literally anything that just keeps them preoccupied mentally and they know can help them progress as an individual. They also love doing hobbies that include their friends, or they may just simply like being with their friends. Either way, connection is key with an Aquarius Venus.

PISCES VENUS:

Venus is exalted in the sign of Pisces!!! Exaltation means that the sign will exhibit the strongest qualities of said planet. So a Pisces Venus will exhibit Venusian qualities by 10x. A Pisces Venus is so creative in anything they want to do, and it touches people as this is a Neptunian ruled Venus and Neptune represents 12th house themes like the subconscious collective. When a Pisces Venus creates, it touches and heals others and people can not even explain why!!! This can also happen in their relationships. Love is a movie for a Pisces Venus. Love is boundless. Love is what makes a Pisces Venus go round. This is such a beautiful placement to have. Being with a Pisces Venus is so amazing because they will go above and beyond for their partners. Yet, being a Neptunian-ruled Venus, that can come at a cost. Pisces Venus make sure you and your partner are on one accord as Neptune does represent illusions and secrets. Not to scare you, but some people like to take advantage of your good energy and don't let them do that. You are too beautiful of a soul to let that happen.

THAT IS IT FOR THIS SERIES!!!! I HOPE YOU LEARNED ALOT ABOUT VENUS THROUGH THE SIGNS!! TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR MY NEXT SERIES (idk yet), BUT IT WILL BE COMING OUT SOON!! LOVE YALL!!

-Claude

[nopefun]

Interview #494: Ryan Frigillana

Ryan Frigillana is a Philippine-born lens-based artist living and working in New York. His work focuses on the fluidity of memory, intimacy, family identity, and visual culture, largely filtered through the lens of race and immigration. Embracing its plasticity, Frigillana explores photography’s relationship to context as a catalyst for thematic dialogue.

His first monograph, Visions of Eden, was published as two editions in 2020, and is held in the library collections of the MoMA, Getty Research Institute, and Smithsonian among others.

We spoke to find out more about Visions of Eden, his love for photobooks, and photography as a medium for introspection.

Lee Chang Ming Ryan Frigillana

Thanks for agreeing to do this! As we’ve just arrived into the new year, I want to start by asking: how did you arrive at photography and how has your practice evolved so far? Your earlier work was anything from still life to street photography, but your recent work seems to deal with more personal themes.

It’s my pleasure; thank you for having this conversation with me! Wow, looking back at how I’ve arrived at this point makes me feel so grateful for this medium, and excited to think of where it will lead me from here. I came to photography somewhat late. I was initially studying to become a nurse and was set to start a career in that field, but I found myself unhappy with where I was going. My mother was a nurse and I know what goes into being one; it’s not an easy job, and I respect those who do it, but my heart wasn’t in it. I found photography as a creative outlet during that stage of my life, and I’ve clung onto it ever since.

My first exposure to photography (no pun intended) came in the form of street and photojournalism. I would borrow books from the library a lot, consuming works by Magnum and other photographers working in that tradition. At the time, it was all I knew so that’s what I tried to emulate. Even early on in my undergrad career, these modes of creation were reinforced by curriculum and by what I saw from my own peers. My still-life work branches off of that same sentiment: the only names that were ever thrown around by professors were Penn and Mapplethorpe, so that’s who I studied. Thankfully over the years, I’ve been able to broaden that perspective through my own research. Though I don’t necessarily pursue street or constructed still-lifes anymore for my personal work, I’d like to think my technical skills (in regard to timing, composition, light) owe a debt to those past experiences.

I suppose now I’m starting to explore how photography can be used as language, to communicate ideas and internal conflicts. I’m thinking more about the power of imagery, its authorship, its implications, and how photographs have shaped, and continue to shape, our reality. That’s where my work is headed at the moment.

I liked how you mentioned photography as a language, which calls into question who we are speaking to when we make images and what kind of narrative we construct by putting photographs together.

In your work “Visions of Eden”, you trace your family’s journey as first-generation Filipino immigrants in America. I was quite struck by how you managed to link together original photography, archived materials and video stills. To me, with the original photography there was a sense of calm and clarity, perhaps in the composition. But with the archived material it was like peering through tinted glass, and the video stills felt like an unsteady memory. What was the editing process like for you and how did you decide what to include or exclude?

For me, editing is the hardest part about photography. Shooting is the enjoyable part of course because it can feel so cathartic. Sometimes when I shoot it feels almost like muscle memory in the sense that you see the world and you just react to it in a trained way. But with editing, it’s more of a cerebral exercise. More thought is involved when you have to deal with visual relationships, sequence, rhythm, and spacing, etc. The real creation of my work takes place in the editing process. That’s where the ingredients come together to form an identity.

When creating this identity, I not only have to think about what I want to say, but also how I want to say it. It’s like speaking; there are numerous ways you can communicate a single sentence. How are images placed in relation to one another? How large are they printed, or how much white space surrounds it? Are the images repeated? What’s on the following page? The preceding page? Is there text? How are they positioned on the spread? All of these little choices impact the tone of your work. And that’s not even mentioning tactile factors like paper stock or cover material. I think that’s why I have such a deep love for photobooks because 1) they’re physical objects and 2) someone has obsessed over every aspect of that object.

I’m aware that my photographs lately have a quiet, detached, somewhat stripped-down quality to them. I think that’s just a subconscious rejection of my earlier days shooting a lot of street where I was constantly seeking crowded frames and complexity in my compositions. As I’ve grown older, I realize less is more and if I can do more by saying less, that’s even better. Now, the complexity I seek lies in the work as a whole and how all these little parts can form something fluid and layered, and not easily definable.

For Visions of Eden, I wanted the work to feel somewhat syncopated and wandering in thought. That meant finding a balance between my quiet static photographs and the movement and energy of the video stills, or balancing the coldness of the illustrations with the warmth of the family snapshots. The work needed to be cohesive but have enough ambiguity for it to take life in someone else’s imagination. Peoples’ lived experiences in regard to immigration and religion are so complex that they can’t be narrated in any one definitive way. Visions of Eden, hopefully, is a rejection of that singularity.

Yes, there’s definitely something special and intimate about flipping through a photobook! For your monograph, you recently released a second edition which is different from your first (redesigned, added images, etc.). Why did you decide to make it different? Was the editing mainly a solitary process?

The first edition was a partially hand-made object. Illustrations were printed on translucent vellum paper and then tipped into the gutter of the book. When you flip through the pages, those vellum sheets would overlap over certain images, creating a collage-like effect. That was my original concept for this book. Doing this, however, was so laborious and time consuming, and not to mention expensive! Regretfully, I wound up making only twenty copies of that first edition. I wanted the work shared with a wider audience so that’s why I decided to publish a second run.

The latest edition is more of a straight-forward production without the vellum paper. With this change in design, I had to reconfigure the layout. I took liberties in swapping out some images or adding new ones altogether. Also, a beautiful afterword was contributed by my friend, artist, writer, and curator Efrem Zelony-Mindell. I still feel so fortunate and grateful to have had my work seen and elevated by their words in my book.

For the most part, yes editing is quite a solitary process for me. But there does come a point when I feel it’s ready, where I share the work with a few trusted people. It’s always nice to have that outer support system. Much of Visions of Eden was created during my time in undergrad school so I had all sorts of feedback from peers and professors which I’m grateful for. But in the end, as the author, you ultimately have the final say in your work.

Given that Eden is a starting point and metaphor in the work, I was thinking about ideas of gardens, (forbidden) fruit, and movement of people.

How do you view yourself in relation to your place of birth? In your series, I see the most direct links in the letters, old photos where tropical foliage is present in the background, and the photo of the jackfruit (perhaps the only tropical fruit in this series).

I came to America when I was very young, about five years old. For my family and for many other families still living in the Philippines, America is seen as a sort of ideological Eden: a land of milk and honey, of wealth and excess. We all know that’s far from the truth. Every Eden has a caveat, a forbidden tree. Which leads me to ask: as an immigrant living in this country, what fruits were never intended for me?

I honestly don’t remember much about my childhood in the Philippines aside from fleeting memories of my relatives, the sounds of animals, the smell of rain and earth, the taste of my grandmother’s cooking. The identity that I carry with me now as a Filipino is not so much tied to the physical geography of a place but rather it is derived from a way of life, from shared stories, in the values we hold dear, passed on from generation to generation. This is a warm flame that lives on in me to this day as I write these words thousands of miles away from where I came.

Photographs have a way of shaping our memory and our relationship to the past, which in turn affects how we engage with the present. The family photographs and letters used in my book act as anchors in a meandering journey. They serve as landmarks that I can return to whenever I feel lost or need assurance so far away from “home”. They give me the comfort and affirmation that I need to navigate a space where I never really felt I belonged. The spread in my book­­ that you mentioned—the jackfruit on one side, and the Saran-wrapped apple on the preceding page—was a reference to my duality as both Filipino and American. It’s a reminder and an acknowledgment that I am a sum of many things, of many people who have shaped me. If I flourish in life, it’s because my roots were nourished by love.

I like how you mentioned photos as anchors or landmarks. Isn’t that why we create and photograph? To mark certain points in our lives and to envision possible futures, like a cartographer mapping an inner journey. Do you feel like you and your relationships with those you photographed changed through the process of making your works?

When my parents took pictures of our family, it wasn’t done solely in the name of remembrance; it also served as an affirmation of ourselves and our journey—a celebration. Every birthday, vacation, school ceremony, or even the seemingly insignificant events of daily life were all photographed or video-taped as a way of saying to ourselves, “Here we are. Look how far we’ve come. Look at the life we’ve made. And here’s the proof”.

Now, holding a camera and photographing my family through my own lens still carries all of that celebratory joy, but with so much more possibility. Before I really took photography seriously, I never realized its potential as a medium for introspection, but that’s ultimately what it has become for me. In taking pictures of my family, I not only clarify my own feelings about them, but the act of photography itself informs and builds on my relationship with each person. The camera is not a mere recording device, but a tool for understanding, processing, and even expressing love...or resentment. Though I may not be visible in my pictures, my presence is there: in my proximity, my gaze, my focus.

Does all of this impact my relationships? Absolutely. Photographing another person willingly always demands some degree of trust and vulnerability from both sides. There’s a silent dialogue that occurs which feels like an exchange of secrets. I think that’s why I often don’t feel comfortable photographing other people unless we’re very close. Usually my family is open enough to reveal themselves to me, other times what they give can feel quite guarded. That’s a constant negotiation. After the photograph is made though, nobody ever emerges the same person because each of us has relinquished something, no matter how small.

Being self-reflexive in photography is so important. I agree it should be a constant negotiation, but it’s something that bothers me these days – the power dynamic between the photographer and photograph, particularly for personal and documentary projects. More significantly, after the photograph has been made, who is really benefiting. But I guess if we are sensitive to that then perhaps we can navigate that tricky path and find a balance. 

Right, finding that balance is key and sometimes there are no clear-cut answers. That power dynamic is something I always have to be mindful of. As the photographer, you are exercising a certain role and position. At the end of the day, you’re the one essentially “taking” what you need and walking away. There’s an inherent violence or aggression in the act of taking someone’s picture, no matter how well-intended it may be. This aggression carries even greater weight when working, as you say, in a genre like documentary where representation is everything.

I remember an undergrad professor of mine, Nadia Sablin, introducing me to the work of Shelby Lee Adams—particularly his Appalachian Legacy series. Adams spent twenty-five years documenting the disadvantaged Appalachian communities in his home state of Kentucky, visiting the same families over a long period of time. Though the photographs are beautifully crafted, they pose many questions in regard to exploitation, representation, and the aestheticization of suffering. He is or was, after all, an artist thriving and profiting off of these photographs. Salgado is another that comes to mind. This was the first time I really stopped to think about the ethics of image-making. Who is benefitting from it all?

I think the search for this balance is something each photographer has to reckon with personally. Though each situation may vary with different factors that have to be weighed, and context that must be applied, you can always ask yourself these same ever-pertinent questions: am I representing people in a dignified way, and what are my intentions with these images? Communication (listening), building relationships, acknowledging your power, and respecting the people you photograph are all foundational things to consider when exercising your privilege with the camera.

Well said! The process of making photographs can be tricky to navigate yet rewarding. Any upcoming projects or ideas? What’s keeping you busy these days?

Oh, let’s just say I’m constantly juggling 3-4 ideas in my head at any given time, but ninety percent of the time they don’t ever lead to anything finished haha. This past year has been tough on everyone I’m sure. I’ve been dealing a lot with personal loss and grief and the compounded isolation brought on by the pandemic, so for months I’ve been making photographs organically as a subconscious response to these internal struggles. It’s more of an exploration of grief itself as a natural phenomenon and force—like time or gravity. Grief is something everyone will experience in life and each of us deals with it differently, but in the end we have to let it run its course. I see these photographs as a potential body of work that could materialize as a zine or book one day, so we’ll see where that goes.

Other than that, I’ve been working on an upcoming collaboration project with Cumulus Photo. Speaking of which, I saw your photograph featured in their latest zine, running to the edge of the world. Congrats on that! It’s beautiful. But yeah, just trying my best to keep busy and sane, and improving myself any way I can.

Thanks! Looking forward to your upcoming projects! Last question: any music to recommend?

I feel like my answer to this question can vary by the week. I go through phases where I exhaust whole albums on repeat until I get tired of them. So I’ll leave you with the two currently on my rotation: Angles by The Strokes, and Screamadelica by Primal Scream.

Thank you for your time!

Thank you for a lovely discourse. I had a lot of fun!

his website and Instagram.

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[beauty-and-passion]

Headcanon: the mind’s structure and the concept of a Side’s “room”

Hi.

This post is entirely based one the last asks I got, in which dear sweet anon asked me: "How do you think the rooms of the other sides will look like?"

And so here I am, talking about my own headcanons. Was the ask just an excuse to write this post? Yes.

Of course I don’t pretend to talk about possible canonical rooms Thomas can make in real life (I already wrote a post about that). This one is entirely based on the ideas I’m developing through my fanfictions.

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The mind’s structure

One of the most famous images associated with the mind and how it’s structured is the iceberg one.

For the people who have never seen it, here’s a sample image:

As you can see, it’s theorized the mind can be roughly divided into three parts:

Conscious mind, which includes all of the things that you’re actively aware of: thoughts, perceptions of the world, etc.

Subconscious/preconscious mind, which includes all of the things that you could potentially pull into conscious awareness. It’s a sort of “filter”, that controls what is allowed to be part of the conscious.

Unconscious mind, which includes everything that is outside of our conscious awareness: hidden feelings, thoughts, urges, all that’s unacceptable and/or unpleasant.

Having said that, I think you already have an idea about where some rooms might be located.

But that’s not all. This is the overall structure of the mind. The mind itself is made of a series of layers: the higher ones are part of the conscious mind, the central ones are part of the subconscious and the lower ones are part of the unconscious.

The proportions are the same as the iceberg image: few planes on top, a whole lot of planes at the bottom.

This is the only image I found that was close enough to how I imagine the planes are. Every plane has its own ecosystem: it can be a forest, a wheatfield, a beach, an island in the middle of an ocean, Thomas’ neighborhood, his house. The more Thomas grows, the more planes appear in his mind and their borders aren’t always the same: some planes might seem endlessly big, others as small as a single house.

And of course the planes aren’t flat surfaces either: they’re three-dimensional and you can move inside them, just like you can move in our world.

But if a Side wants to move from one plane to a lower one, then they sink. While when they move from a lower plane to a higher one, they rise up.

Yes, it’s a reference from Nostalgia part 2:

[Virgil]: -pops up in the same way as the others- Whoa. That was new for me. I've never done that whole... rising up thing. How do you guys do that every episode? I'm so lightheaded.

And what do you do when you rise up a lot? You end up on the reality plane. Where Thomas is, were we all live. And where Sides appears, when Thomas calls for them.

Okay, everything good?

Very nice. Now you know more than the actual Sides.

The Sides themselves doesn’t know how the mind is structured. They know there are different places and some are a bit lower than others (because they sink a lot, before reaching them), but they have no idea these places are divided into planes and they have no idea how many planes are actually in the mind. They don’t even know where exactly are their own rooms, just that some are “higher” and "lower” than others. And why should they know? They don’t need this information, to better do their job.

There’s only one Side who perfectly knows how many levels are in the mind - and yes, he needs to know for his job - and this Side is Janus.

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The rooms

A room is just one of the mind’s many layers that one Side chooses as his own.

This choice isn’t casual: the planes appear within the mind, the same mind who created the Sides. So, among a lot of other planes, there’s also one specifically made for each Side.

The room is the only place where a Side has full control over everything. While the other planes are always the same and can’t be changed by no one (except for the two Creativities, whose power “leaks” into the levels above and below their own room), a room allows full creative control to their owner. A Side can change the place, shrink it, expand it.

And this explains why Patton’s room looks like Thomas’ house: because he actively chose to make his own room look like a place dear to Thomas, associated with memories and childhood.

This also explains why Virgil chose to make his room look like Thomas’ as well: he’s Anxiety, he fears changes. The bubble is secure, the bubble is everything. And Thomas’ own house is the perfect bubble to keep his anxiety at bay.

So, let’s see each room a bit closer:

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1. Logan’s room: tip of the iceberg

Logan’s room is almost at the top of the mind, the closer to reality. Again, for obvious reasons: logic is the most conscious, rational part of the mind, the less influenced by the subconscious and the unconscious.

Since I’m a sucker for the contrast between logic and powerful nature, Logan’s room is a lighthouse that stands on rocks and is surrounded by the ocean. On top of the lighthouse there’s a cozy, circular living room surrounded by glass windows. There are nice couches, tables, soft rugs and globes of yellow, warm lights all around. No need for a bookcase: the book Logan wants to read is just on the table. He needs a computer? Here it is, it just appeared on the table.

When everything is fine, the ocean is calm and peaceful, day and night alternate as always, the sky is clear and, while the outside reminds of a fresh, summer morning, the living room looks more like a warm, soft winter home.

When Logan isn’t fine, everything changes. The storm takes control of the whole room: the waves crash against the lighthouse, there are thunders and lightning. There’s no more day/night cycle, the storm can go on for days. It’s impossible to stay outside. Inside, everything turns dark.

The place doesn’t welcome you anymore, even if its owner would never send you away. But, if you’re clever, it’s better to leave.

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2. Roman’s room: blooming creativity

Considering Roman is a more controlled Creativity compared to Remus, his room is located way higher than expected from a creative force like him.

Roman’s room is a realm made of ideas. But, like, literally. Everything is made of ideas. And the stronger the idea is, the most real the thing looks like.

For example: if Roman wants to make a fruit tree, the clearer and more vivid his idea of said tree is, the better the tree will be: it will have knots in the wood, ants walking on its branches, flowers will bloom and their petals will fall to let the fruit grow.

And this applies to EVERYTHING. Trees, houses, rivers, hills, mountains, clouds, sun and moon, the day/night cycle, every atmospheric phenomenon and every single grass blade.

Roman’s room is endless. He walks inside it, but he has never seen the end. When he needs a place to stay, a new house appears. When he’s tired, the sun goes down.

His own creativity stems and takes the shape of trees, flowers, fruits. So when Roman eats a fruit, a new idea is born in his mind. When a gust of wind hits him, a new idea appears. And while he walks, he keeps developing the idea, adding details and information he literally takes by the wind, the grass and everything his room has to offer.

In other words: his room is a stream of ideas that constantly changes, while still keeping the same aspect. His room is always different, because he always walks, but it still looks like a natural landscape. There is continuity with how it looked like the day before.

Unlike Remus’ room.

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3. Patton’s room: first of the subconscious

I wasn’t so sure where to put Patton, then I found out memories are located in the subconscious part of the mind and, well, it made a lot of sense.

Patton is Thomas’ emotions, memories, and morality. This last aspect is very close to the conscious mind, sure, but emotions and memories are both part of the subconscious. And, since I think Patton’s first job was related to Thomas’ emotions, his room could very well be located in the high levels of the subconscious.

Patton’s room takes the appearance of Thomas’ house. Sometimes it’s his own house, sometimes it’s his childhood house. And we saw how it was inside: filled with memories, glittering aura and so on.

This is where Patton sleeps and rests, but that’s not the only place he visits. Patton frequently explores other planes of the subconscious and the conscious.

Why? He’s not sure either. He just wants to do it. He doesn’t know, but he’s acting as a sub-controller of the mind, by double checking everything that goes from unconscious to conscious and vice versa.

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4. Janus’ room: an always shifting vault

Janus knows how many levels are in the mind, their position, what they have inside and, in general, everything that happens in every level - he needs to check every information that goes from unconscious to conscious, after all.

But he doesn’t know where his room actually is. Because his room is the only one that shifts.

Its general location is the low-subconscious, but Janus’ room can actually be anywhere he needs it most - and yes, this is useful for his job: if he needs to move from his room to the low unconscious, he can’t waste time sinking like all other Sides: his room shifts and, with one small sink, he’s already where he has to be.

This also makes it incredibly difficult for other Sides to actually find his room and visit him. But that’s also good, because other Sides can’t spend too much time in his room anyway.

Why? Security reasons.

Let’s take a step back. Janus is self-preservation. In other words: that force that keeps you alive and protects you, both mentally and physically.

This implies the mind itself isn’t a safe place either - after all, the unconscious is where everything dangerous is stored. And, since Janus is the one who has to keep what Thomas doesn’t like/wants to know at bay, that means he’s the first controller of the unconscious (hence the two titles of guardian and gatekeeper) and of the exchange of information that exists among all levels.

In addition to that, there’s the pull of the unconscious. Because we all experience it, once in a lifetime. We are all attracted by what we deeply hide into ourselves - something we’re not conscious of, thoughts we might think we do not have at all. We never truly fall down this spiral (that would lead to dementia, delirium and so on), because our own mind pushes us back, bringing us back to reason.

For Thomas, this force that opposes the pull of the unconscious and brings you back to reason is Janus. And, as you can figure out, it’s an incredibly powerful force. A force that never sleeps, is never tired, always vigilant, always aware.

So, what happens when Janus needs to rest? He can’t do it anywhere, because a weak self-preservation is all the unconscious needs in order to take control.

This is where his room comes into play. His room is the only place where Janus can actually rest and allow himself to be weak. His room is like a vault, secured from the mind’s influence and from anything else.

Also, since he has full control over it, he can decide when he needs to disappear. A Side is looking for him but he needs more time to rest? His room shifts multiple times, so no one can find him. He’s fine? He let the other Side find him on the first try.

Still, other Sides can’t spend more than 5 minutes into his room. His room shifts and is more secure than any other, sure, but it’s also connected to everything. Even if he’s in his room, Janus still knows what happens everywhere. And a Side who’s not self-preservation might break for the amount of information that “oozes” from the room itself.

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5. Virgil’s room: a peaceful place in the middle of the unconscious

Just like Patton, Virgil chooses his room to look like Thomas’ house and, in general, all places Thomas feels more at ease.

However, it’s still a room located in the unconscious - and this is a very dangerous place, especially for Sides who live in the conscious/high subconscious. And it’s also Anxiety’s room, so the room itself is full of the influence of its owner.

Hence why, after a while, all Core Sides started to feel the influence of Virgil’s place during AA-part 2.

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6. Remus’ room: bursting creativity

Remus’ room is ever changing: Remus wants a field? There’s a field. He wants an ocean? Here’s the ocean. He wants to live inside a whale? The room is now a whale.

Just like Roman’s room, everything is made of his own creativity. But, unlike Roman’s room, who solidifies his creative power into a constant, coherent landscape, Remus’ landscape always changes, glitches, switches. The room is never the same, there’s no day/night cycle, nor coherent phenomenon: It could snow with 30 °C, it could rain with no clouds. Remus’ creative potential is so strong, it actually ends up influencing the planes above and below his own - just like Roman does up in the consciousness.

And here’s the most important thing: Remus’ room has direct contact with Roman’s. Despite being separated by a huge number of layers and with the subconscious acting as a barrier between them, their rooms are able to communicate. Remus can “plant” his ideas in his room and, like roots, these ideas are able to reach Roman’s room and bloom directly inside it, without touching any other layer in the middle.

That explains why Remus’ influence is able to reach Roman and how Remus’ idea can be literally picked by Roman, “ate” and processed.

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The lowest level

What’s at the bottom of the mind? No one knows. No one could reach the bottom. The only one who can go deep down without going insane or losing himself is Janus, but even self-preservation isn’t able to see what the mind hides at the bottom of itself.

The lowest place Janus can reach is where there are what I called “The Faint Ones”.

The Faint Ones aren’t a Side, nor multiple Sides. They’re an indistinct agglomeration of ideas, concepts and things that will never become Sides. All the Faint Ones want is to surge to the top and take control. But, since the mind is the one in charge, all it does is pushing these forces deep down.

However, the Faint Ones can still call, ask and pray to be freed and their calls can lure the Sides down, just like marine predators do.

The Sides from the unconscious can hear these calls but, since they live in the unconscious, over time they developed some resistance. Still, they can’t venture too deep into the mind (and, with a guardian like Janus, they do not). Remus can hear the calls, but they’re more like a background noise. Virgil just hears faint voices.

On the other hand, Patton, Roman and Logan can’t hear anything from the conscious and subconscious. But if they go too deep into the mind, they start hearing the calls and they are way more hypnotic for them. (That’s also why Janus knows everything that happens inside the mind: to be sure no one goes below a certain point)

Speaking of Janus, of course he’s able to hear the voices and the more he goes down, the more he can recognize their words. Still, the Faint Ones’ calls do not act as a lure for him, no matter how down he can go. He can even face them and still be in complete control.

Because yes, he’s the only one who has ever seen the Faint Ones and knows what they look like.

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[chigasakism]

Okay, so!! I was gonna talk about how I would cast A3! characters as tarot cards someday but I was beaten to the chase by the actual game so! I’m gonna take this time to talk in DEPTH about the choices for each character we saw in the gacha card showcase!! JP card spoilers below, obviously

Homare as the High Priestess

admittedly I have ALWAYS thought that homare is such a good fit for the high priestess card??

the high priestess focuses a lot on the subconscious mind and hidden knowledge, intuition, and divine wisdom, and being able to connect your inner knowledge with your outer knowledge. it focuses a lot on creativity and intuition, and how those can be used in tandem, and that it is important to trust your instincts to guide you. it also talks a lot about self-reflection and understanding yourself via development of your internal insight, and that if you have just begun learning to understand yourself and your emotions, it's a sign to continue

AND THAT TIES A LOT TO HOMARE'S CHARACTER ARC!! he's struggled with emotions an understanding right from the beginning, and it works perfectly as a milestone to show how much he's grown. the last part especially is an encouragement towards his progress and it just works so well for him because of it!!

reversed, the high priestess shows insecurity and the ability to be swayed by other's decisions due to a lack of trust in one's own intuition, which can cause conflict due to an inability to understand the self, and this can cause a disconnect between what one feels and what they think they feel

which ALSO works really well for homare (points directly at winter troupe 2nd play) because homare didn't trust himself enough to be able to understand his characters or troupemates without the help of the loupe of sincerity and it's so so so important that he DID, and that's what the reversed card shows!

Guy as the Hermit

I will also admit here that I never really considered guy for the hermit until now because in my mind I'd kinda of casted itaru as the hermit (which has changed since, though), but the more I think about it, the more guy fits for it because!! it's super symbolic!!

basically, the hermit represents a journey that you can't see the full path of, or a pivotal turning point in life, and also signifies that it's time to do some self-reflection to understand yourself better, and typically involves a journey that you must take with only the people very close to you or if those don't exist, on your own. it also talks a lot about self-discovery and understanding new parts of your life via seclusion from the world at large and instead focusing on yourself and the people you value most

and this is EXACTLY what happened with guy!! leaving along the fact that his act in the main story is LITERALLY titled "the greatest journey" it's so highly representative of the point of change where he had to learn and accept that he's not an android as he'd thought he was, and he literally embarks on a journey with the winter troupe to make sense of it for himself. it's just *chef's kiss* so perfectly symbolic and I am SUCH a sucker for symbolism

reversed, the hermit can also mean cutting oneself away from others completely and self-isolating due to a lack of understanding with one's inner self and that it's time to actually take a moment to come to terms with reality. it also suggests that it's time to start building up connections with people again even if you have chosen to isolate yourself in the past following being hurt because of a bad experience with others

which, if you think about it, is exactly what did happen with guy! his character arc is so reliant on him coming to understand himself and his place in reality that it really does just. fit perfectly!

Kumon as the Wheel of Fortune

now, getting to kumon, I will admit that I didn't really think too hard about kumon as wheel of fortune and I can't remember whom I initially had for it?? but it also DEFINITELY works!

the wheel of fortune is pretty adamant that life is always changing, and that even if things are hard, they can and will get better. even if you're going through hard moments, the wheel of fortune reminds you that good luck and better times are just around the corner, and it asks you to remain optimistic and happy, and find the joys in what you can until then. it also ties in to karma a lot, and encourages kindness and positivity in order to manifest it into your life. additionally, it reminds you to let yourself rely on people because there are people willing to support you. it also hints that there are a lot of external factors that are influencing your situation and those cannot be helped, but that it's important to improvise, adapt, overcome. it also states that despite this, new opportunities that you hadn't considered will open up to you

AND ALL OF THIS JUST. IT WORKS!! a lot of kumon's struggles with his fevers and anxiety is really way beyond his control, and because of it he wasn't able to fulfill his dedication to baseball for it, but because of that, he was able to open the door to theatre as a passion! there's also a lot of emphasis on how optimistic kumon is because despite the fact that he'd felt so lost with his dream, he was able to keep a smile on his face and move forward. there's also a lot of meaning in how he DOES let himself rely on the summer troupe (notable with his fevers and anxiety before the shows!) and that they are always gonna support him.

reversed, the wheel of fortune can represent a sudden streak of bad luck, and that it's important to decide whether you sit there and do nothing, or try and improve things. it also says that it's important to think about why certain situations occur and how you can rechart a course of action to change it. however, it can also imply a resistance to change that may have felt forced and be hard to accept, but it can also mean that you're finally breaking out from a negative cycle in your life and things will finally turn for the better

the first bit is really really interesting especially in the context of lucky god seven, but the latter bits are a lot more hopeful when you think about it! the change resistance does tie in a lot with kumon's initial desire to join autumn with juza, and how he eventually comes to really really love acting with summer instead! there's also the fact that as he grows with mankai, he's able to finally get stronger than the performance anxiety he gets and it shows he IS breaking out of the cycle!!

ANYWAY that’s all from me today, I’ll probably add on to this when we get to see the rest of the event cards!! I can’t wait to see if they align with my ideas of the A3! cast but (keeps my fingers crossed)

[themurphyzone]

PatB Oneshot: Poor Unfortunate Soul

Summary: Brain doesn’t think Pinky would be a very good villain. Pinky decides to prove him wrong (but mostly he wants Denny's).

AN: I’ll be honest, Dark Pinky isn’t for me. So how to compromise writing a villainous Pinky with normal Pinky? Well...you’ll see. 

AO3 Link

Pinky gasped at the TV, crumbs of popcorn falling out of his mouth. Brain stopped chewing and looked away from the screen, unable to stomach the scene of Lupin and Sirius forcing Pettigrew out of rat form as he attempted to flee the Shrieking Shack. 

No matter how many times he’d seen Prisoner of Azkaban, Brain always found it uncomfortable to watch Pettigrew transform into a pathetic, sniveling human who acted like he hadn’t sold his own friends out to a homicidal madman.  

Sure, Voldemort was the villain while Umbridge was the personification of government corruption, but there was just something downright insidious about Pettigrew. 

Pinky’s eyes were blown wide open as Pettigrew pitifully tried to plead his case. The simpleton was always so surprised about this plot twist no matter how many times he’d seen this movie.

The more he pondered, perhaps Pinky was the exact reason he found Pettigrew worse than the larger threats of the Harry Potter world. The man played into the worst of rodent stereotypes with his cowardly and backstabbing nature.

But Pinky?

Not a single disloyal bone in his body. It was a lesson Brain had taken to heart after his disastrous second birthday. Pinky was far too sweet and simple to even think about betrayal. 

Tears flowed down Pinky’s face as Lupin transformed into an emaciated werewolf, so Brain discreetly nudged a pack of Kleenexes his way. Pinky flashed him a grateful, wobbly smile, then reached for a tissue and blew his nose. 

Pinky always cried at this part. And while Brain found the scene emotionally gut-punching too, he considered himself above displays of crying during movies. 

Mufasa’s death didn’t count. Dirt always lodged in his lacrimal ducts whenever he watched that scene. That was all.

Brain’s fists clenched as the cowardly Pettigrew abandoned everyone to die. 

Though his escape was an essential plot point for the rest of the series, Brain wished the protagonists could’ve caught Pettigrew and delivered justice for betraying those who called him a friend.

He knew how the movie played out, but Pinky acted like he was watching it all for the very first time. Sometimes, watching Pinky when he didn’t care what happened on-screen was much more interesting. Especially when Pinky insisted on not skipping Order of the Phoenix. 

Pinky hugged his knees, tail draped tightly around him as the Dementors attacked Harry and Sirius. The rest of the movie would be loaded with those undead abominations. Brain had learned from unfortunate experience that Pinky would have nightmares if he didn’t cut off the fear before it took root in his subconscious. 

Slowly, Brain moved towards Pinky, careful not to make a sound lest Pinky catch him in the act. He took a deep breath to steel his resolve, placing a hesitant hand on Pinky’s back. 

Pinky turned to look at him. 

“Eyes on the screen,” Brain commanded. It was easier to do this when Pinky wasn’t watching him. 

Pinky obeyed, humming softly as Brain patted soft fur. A long, flowing tail wrapped around a crooked one. Pinky sat up a little straighter. 

The Dementors wouldn’t haunt Pinky’s dreams tonight. Not as long as Brain had something to say about it.   

o-o-o-o-o

“-and I’m so happy Sirius and Buckbeak got away! D’you think I could ride a hippogriff? Why are they called hippos when they’re not hippos anyway? I don’t think wizards know their animals very well, Brain.” Pinky’s chatter continued into the ungodly hours of the morning. Only the people unfortunate enough to work early morning shifts on Saturday would be awake at this time.

Brain rolled onto his stomach, covering his ears with his pillow to block out all the extraneous noise. One con about taking nights off from world domination was that his body just didn’t want to sleep even when he was tired, and Pinky’s exuberance only amplified the issue. 

“Troz! Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite out of the Harry Potter movies. But my favorites are also Sorcerer’s Stone and Chamber and Goblet...oh! And Order has Luna Lovegood of course! Love her! What’s your favorite, Brain?” Pinky asked. “Ooh, you shouldn’t lay like that. You need to breathe!” 

The pillow was completely ineffective as a sound buffer. Brain was sorely tempted to keep up his current position out of pure spite, but he had to give up and lay on his side so he wouldn’t suffocate.

“No favorite. Hippogriffs are fictional. Hippo is Greek for horse and does not refer to a hippopotamus in this context. You think cows cluck and chickens moo, Pinky. Now go to sleep,” Brain sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. 

Perhaps he could trick his exhausted mind into believing Pinky wasn’t there if he couldn’t be seen. 

He had an urge to stay awake though. If his subconscious latched onto hippopotamuses, he’d just have that nightmare with the rich hippo couple and Rockefeller baby all over again. He shuddered at that memory. The pain and humiliation from that hippo-sized booster shot had been oddly vivid. 

“Okay. G’night, Brain.” The bed shifted as Pinky flopped onto his back. 

All was quiet. 

Brain curled into a more comfortable position, ready to drift off to a dream world where he was an emperor on a golden throne, Pinky was dressed in royal finery while leading a resounding chorus of We are the World, and all knelt before their authority. 

“Brain?” 

And there went the dream. 

“What?” Brain snapped. Part of him wanted to knock Pinky out himself, but that would require moving his arms. He didn’t want to move out of his current position.

“Just pondering. Poit,” Pinky yawned. “Before sleep ponderings. Those kinds are the best, Brain. Cause they get weird and tangerine-y. Bet you get those too.” 

It was true. When his plans weren’t derived from Pinky’s inane ramblings or current events, they were often the product of pre-sleep thoughts. While he wrote down all he could remember afterwards, the plans pulled from those tangents tended to be the craziest and illogical in hindsight. 

He tried not to rely on them too much, but if his conqueror’s block was high or creativity levels were low, he didn’t have much choice.

“Yes,” Brain confirmed. 

But his curt answer wasn’t enough to deter Pinky. 

“Cause I was pondering about villains,” Pinky said. “Like Pettigrew. Cause what if I had something that makes me a villain?”

As much as Brain wanted to dismiss the idea of a villainous Pinky due to the sheer absurdity of the concept, he supposed it wasn’t entirely out of the realm of possibility either. 

But Pinky as a villain? A mouse who gave up his soul for the sake of Brain’s desires and argued against promoting harmful cigarettes to children? 

It was just ludicrous. 

“Pinky, you lack many prerequisites for proper villainy,” Brain said. “Except for the dramatics. That’s the only trait you have in common.” 

“Oh. Well, I could certainly try,” Pinky replied. 

Yes, and someday pigs would evolve and develop flight capabilities. 

If he were in a clearer state of mind, he would’ve argued out of obstinance. But right now, it was incredibly early on a Saturday morning and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Discussions on villainy and world domination could wait a few hours. 

“If you can prove me wrong, you can select the next restaurant we’ll go to,” Brain yawned.  

Pinky rarely got to choose the restaurant, given Brain’s sophisticated palate, but at this point he was willing to try anything to get Pinky off his back. 

Then Pinky went from figuratively being on his back to pressing against it, his tail curling around Brain’s. Pinky’s jaw rested against the back of Brain’s head. The added pressure released a tenseness around Brain’s shoulders, one that he’d been previously unaware of. 

“Denny’s,” Pinky murmured, nuzzling the back of Brain’s ear. The sensitive appendage flicked. Nobody was around to witness that involuntary reflex, so Brain let it pass. “A Grand Slam with pancakes and syrup and bacon n’ eggs…” 

Within seconds, Pinky was out like a light. He wouldn’t remember this conversation, too busy thinking with his stomach instead of properly pondering with that fluffball of a mind. 

With Pinky’s warm fur against his back and soft narfs against his ear, Brain’s thoughts gently trickled away and yielded to peaceful sleep. 

o-o-o-o-o

Though it was probably noon by now, Brain still didn’t want to open his eyes. Why bother? No scientists to pester them, no leftover plans or materials to hide away so they wouldn’t be discovered, no tedious mazes to run on Saturday. 

Pinky had gotten up sometime before him, and the space beside him was empty, giving Brain room to stretch out in whatever way he liked.  

Then he heard a harsh scraping noise, like someone was dragging something heavy across the counter. That wasn’t unusual for Pinky if an object caught his short attention span for some inane reason. 

However, there was also the sound of laughter accompanying the noise. Pinky was giggly and bubbly to a fault, but this brand of laughter was different. 

Almost malevolent. 

A chill ran up his spine, but Brain ignored the feeling. Pinky’s evil laugh was still firmly in Saturday morning cartoon villain territory, he told himself. 

Even if he sounded a little too good at being evil. 

Apparently, Pinky had remembered the bet after all. 

Brain slowly opened his eyes, about to find Pinky and tell him to knock it off, only to find that it was much darker than it should be for daytime. But it wasn’t dark enough to impede his vision. When he looked up, he found a sheet had been pulled over the entire cage. He couldn’t see anything outside the cage.  

Pinky being secretive would surely spell disaster.  And it hadn’t been there last night, so Pinky was the only culprit. 

The wheel stood empty, a fresh oil can beside it. Brain rubbed his eyes, partly to wake himself up and partly out of disbelief. He was normally a light sleeper, but if he hadn’t heard Pinky maintain his wheel at all, then he must’ve had a deeper sleep than he thought.

He climbed out of bed and marched towards the unlatched cage door, though the corner of the sheet was pulled over it. He would’ve swept it aside, but an unopened cup of Rice Krispies with a half-empty bottle of milk, napkin, and spoon conspicuously placed next to the door gave him pause from leaving the cage. 

His stomach growled. 

“Well played, Pinky,” Brain admitted. A breakfast barricade to delay him? It was rather creative, not that he’d ever let Pinky know. 

The Rice Krispies made satisfactory snap, crackle, and pop noises as Brain poured the milk inside. Then he scarfed down the cereal, half-expecting Pinky to come in and drag him outside for whatever he planned. 

But Pinky seemed content to let him eat first. 

Once he finished eating, he dragged the empty cereal cup and milk bottle behind him. But even his simple two-step plan of throwing his current load into the garbage and finding Pinky were laid to waste the moment he set foot outside the cage. 

For Pinky had unleashed his inner interior designer and completely transformed the room in such a short timeframe.

Large, sweeping blackout curtains covered the windows, even the skylight. According to the digital clock atop the TV, it was 12:30 in the afternoon. But if Brain didn’t know any better, he would’ve believed it was midnight. 

No wonder he’d been so inclined to sleep in. 

Long strands of Christmas lights hung on each dark blue wall, which was otherwise untransformed. Other than the digital clock, they were the only available light source. But rather than their usual festive association, the unblinking reds, greens, and blues lent a rather ominous, otherworldly quality to the room.  

Brain dispelled the fear. It was irrational when he’d traversed the dark lab at night a million times before. 

Perhaps he was focusing too hard on dumping the leftover milk into the sink. With absolute concentration, he pushed the empty cup and bottle over the counter’s edge and into the garbage can below. 

As he backed away from the edge, he saw a large mixing bowl with a stepladder set by it. Wisps of steam rose from the inside of the bowl. This must’ve been the source of the scraping sound he’d heard earlier. Curious, Brain climbed the stepladder and peered inside. 

It was just warm water though. 

He tried not to feel too disappointed. But even if it was mundane right now, surely it had to be here for a reason, right?

Or Pinky didn’t have any reason at all and he just wanted to fill a mixing bowl with boiled water. Both options were possibilities.

As he continued his search for Pinky, he walked past rows upon rows of test tubes filled with brightly colored substances. Electric green, dreadful purple, deceptively calm cerulean…

He wasn’t sure what kind of chemistry experiments they were running, but he wished someone had enough sense to label the test tubes.

Beakers and tubing distorted his reflection, a prickling sensation traveling down his spine and forcing his fur to stand on end. He smoothed it down so he didn’t bear a passing resemblance to a cotton ball. The slightly colder than normal temperature wasn’t helping. 

The distortion was simply a natural refraction of light passing through liquids. That’s all. There was no reason to get worked up over natural phenomena.

That didn’t stop him from leaping back when a wide, smiling human face suddenly appeared as he navigated a sea of flasks. 

His heart threatened to leap out of his chest, his breaths growing heavier.  

There weren’t any humans in the lab right now, he reminded himself. And the smiling face was frozen and unmoving. It wasn’t real. 

Brain cautiously poked his head around the flask, keeping it as a buffer between himself and the unknown threat. 

Against the wall, several of Pinky’s Barbie and Ken dolls sat in a row. The one whose face appeared on the flask was on the far left, her blonde hair in a ponytail. All of the dolls were in colorful swimwear. One of the Ken dolls had a pair of sunglasses perched on his head. 

The dolls were normal. No creepy alterations or missing body parts. 

But as Brain approached and inspected the dolls closely, their positioning seemed...odd.

Yes, their plastic visages displayed smiles as if they were en route to a Miami beach party, but their arms were stretched above their heads or out to the sides in warning. Their legs laid flat against the ground. Duct tape trapped their legs to the ground and wrapped against their torsos, sticking them firmly to the wall and preventing them from falling over. 

An interesting choice for decor, to say the least. 

But enough was enough. Time to find Pinky and force a coherent explanation out of him. 

One of the Barbie's arm pointed to the back of the room, so Brain followed her instruction. It led him straight to Pinky’s dollhouse, and Brain cursed himself for being so taken in with the environment that he’d neglected to check one of Pinky’s favorite toys. 

The pink plastic door was wide open, a deadly invitation into danger. Brain’s ears pricked as a song floated through the air. 

“Things are working out according to my ultimate design,

Soon I’ll have that little rodent and the planet shall be mine!”  

The melody was accompanied by a sinister cackle. 

Brain wanted to barge in and demand Pinky to cease his foolishness immediately, but his fingers curled against the doorframe instead, urging him to heed caution. 

“I can hear you!” Pinky singsonged from behind a section of dollhouse that was curtained off with jingling Mardi Gras beads. “Won’t you come inside so we can talk properly?” 

Brain rolled his eyes, sweeping the bead curtain away. “Pinky, I’m aware of our deal, but this is rather excess-” 

Then his mind registered the scene that lay before him. 

Pinky perched on a stool in front of a mirror as he applied a red coating of lipstick. That wasn’t unusual for him. 

But he was also clad in a backless floor-length dress with thigh-high slits. The dress was dark as night, leaving his shoulders and arms exposed. His fur was dyed a light lavender, save for his messy white tuft, which was gelled so that it stood straight up.

A small seashell necklace sat just above the low cut dress, purple earrings hanging from each ear. Pinky didn’t turn around, blinking coyly at Brain in his reflection, which sported heavy blue eyeshadow. 

He set the lipstick down, and Brain stared at the enchanting movement of manicured, polished red nails as deft fingers picked up a small brush and dipped it into a makeup kit. Then Pinky applied a beauty mark next to his lips.

The next thing out of Brain’s mouth was a very intelligent ‘um’. 

“You shouldn’t lurk in doorways,” Pinky purred, his voice low and sultry. “It’s very rude. Didn’t your mother teach you manners?” 

She didn’t have time to teach him a lot of things, given his kidnapping at an early age, but that wasn’t the point.  

“Why in Ptolemy’s name are you Ursula out of all villains?” Brain asked, once his voice came back. 

At least it explained why Pinky had redecorated the room to resemble an underwater cavern that doubled as a villainous lair. It was an excellent use of space. 

And the Barbies and Kens...those were the stand-ins for the helpless sea polyps.

Pinky must’ve been deriving a lot of satisfaction at seeing that realization dawn on Brain. 

“Why not?” Pinky shrugged. He puckered his lips and kissed his reflection, leaving a red lip-shaped mark behind. “Besides...isn’t there something you’re after? Something you want oh so very much, but haven’t been able to get?” 

Brain scowled. “You know perfectly well that I’m trying to rule the world, Pinky.” 

Pinky snapped his fingers. “And that’s what I can help you with! The only way to get what you want...is to become a human yourself.” 

Well, he’d never considered that before in the pursuit of world domination. There was something about manipulating his genetic code and changing his species that didn’t sit well with him, even though he detested the challenges that came with being a lowly lab mouse.

But it made sense. 

Humans only respected humans. Becoming a member of the dominant species would be an asset for sure! 

But Pinky didn’t have the means to make that happen...right? 

“You don’t know how to manipulate mouse DNA into a human one,” Brain said. 

“Oh my dear, sweet Brain,” Pinky crooned as he stood up, slinking over to Brain. Brain crossed his arms, forcing himself to stare Pinky straight in the eye and not show any signs of yielding. He made a point out of not watching those sashaying hips and tail. “Helping poor, unfortunate mice like yourself is my one passion in life! Why, without it, I’ll have to slink away and become a crazy cat lady! And then who will those poor souls turn to?” 

“A glass of alcohol, I presume,” Brain replied. 

Pinky’s tail came to rest around Brain’s shoulders. The tip tickled Brain’s nose, and he held it away from his face as Pinky pulled him out of the dollhouse and back to the tied up Barbie and Ken dolls. “Maybe, maybe...but a real person they can lean on, I mean. One that knows a little...magic.” 

He flicked his finger at a beaker filled with a lavender substance. The beaker sailed through the air, dumping its contents into the mixing bowl. A purple haze rose from the bowl. 

“That’s telepathy, not-” 

Pinky gently pressed a finger to Brain’s mouth to hush him. “Oh, ye of little faith,” he scolded. “It’s true that I did some rather — how would you phrase this gently — unsavory things before. But I’ve repented! Turned over a new leaf! Seen the light! And now I use my talents for those lonely and miserable enough to seek my services.” 

Then Pinky moved away from Brain, flicking his tail against Brain’s nose to direct his attention to the wall. Pinky wrapped his arm around the Barbie with a red polka-dotted bikini. “You see, Barbie here grew up where she didn’t have much opportunity. Poor girl had to work two jobs to make ends meet, and hardly a cent to show for it! So I offered her a chance to get away from it all...and she took it.” 

Brain gulped as Pinky moved onto the Ken doll next to Barbie. He was awfully convincing, even when the subject in question was inanimate. Pinky played with the ascot around Ken’s neck. “And this young man? Well, he wasn’t having much luck with the ladies. So I gave him a few pointers, maybe a knickknack or two to help speed things along. However…” 

Pinky indicated the tape that bound the dolls to the wall. “I wouldn’t worry about this too much, since you’re a mouse of your word, but sometimes...they couldn’t pay me back in time. So I found a different way to collect their debt.” 

“Yes, I’m sure you have much to gain from restraining children’s toys,” Brain said, tilting his head up to hide his uneasiness. 

They looked less marketable and more like hapless victims wallowing in despair, despite their smiling faces. He chalked it up to the wall’s resemblance to a dimly lit marine cave. 

“Oh, I get some odd complaints every now and then,” Pinky shrugged. “But alas, that’s what happens in this business.” 

He plucked a purple sash from Barbie and wrapped it around his head, fluttering his eyelashes innocently. 

Not that he was fooling Brain. 

But he didn’t have time to process that nonverbal gesture, for Pinky threw the sash around Brain, his tail looping around Brain’s waist. With the sash locking his arms against his sides, he was helplessly corralled to the mixing bowl. He dug his feet into the surface beneath him, but it was no use. Pinky was far stronger than he. 

In physical terms of course. He tried to keep his eyes on Pinky’s face and not his...well, he was a male mouse...he didn’t have...unless he padded...

Stop, Brain. 

A finger slipped under Brain’s chin, tilting his head up. “Not to worry,” Pinky purred, and the room suddenly went from cold to sweltering. “I have your solution right here.” 

To emphasize his point, blue and green test tubes poured their contents into the bowl. The colors melded together, the resulting haze forming a rough image of the world. 

“Here’s the deal. I’ll make a potion that can turn you into a human for three days,” Pinky declared, dragging his finger along Brain’s chin. Now that Pinky’s grip had loosened, Brain ripped the sash out of Pinky’s hands and threw it aside. 

The stroke of Pinky’s finger along Brain’s fur was enticing, and he pushed it away exactly for that reason.  

“Before sunset on the third day, you’ve got to find someone of royal blood,” Pinky said. A golden liquid swirled out of a beaker and formed a crown in the center of the world. It was an image of which Brain had dreamed of for so long. He tried to touch it, but it was far out of reach for him. “Then this charming person has to fall in love with you.” 

That sounded...feasible. Three days was a rather generous deadline. Most of the time, they were on a time crunch between eight to twelve hours.  

Pinky produced a pink felt heart and held it between two fingers. “Then you have to seal your love with a kiss. And not just any old peck on the cheek, but a kiss of true love.” 

A what? 

Brain huffed. Of course this plan would have such a ridiculous stipulation. He’d gotten his hopes up for nothing. 

...and why was he treating this like it was real? 

Because Pinky. 

Yes, that was the only explanation. And not even a rational one. 

“Oh dear, don’t pout so,” Pinky smirked. The expression was fogging up Brain’s mind. “What else is there to seal amour but with true love’s kiss? It’s a tried and true method, after all.” 

He chuckled at his own joke. Brain rolled his eyes. 

“If this certain someone kisses you by sunset on the third day, you’ll have the world permanently. But if they don’t, you turn back into a mouse.” 

Pinky tossed the felt heart into the mixing bowl, the solution emitting a pink puff of smoke. 

“And you belong to me.” 

A dangerous edge crept into Pinky’s tone as he whispered into Brain’s ear, and the appendage fluttered uncontrollably until Brain forcefully snatched it to cease its movement. 

Pinky tossed a hair tie, penny, and eraser nub into the mixing bowl, then leaned against a long pencil case as he awaited Brain’s reply. 

“Suppose I agree to your deal. What then?” Brain asked. 

“Well, there’s the matter of payment,” Pinky admitted. He stretched his lower limbs and tail as he rolled onto his stomach, exposing his long lavender-dyed legs. Brain tried not to watch the motion too closely for fear of hypnotism. “If you want something so badly, something of equal value has to be given. Equivalent exchange, as they say.” 

“And what exactly do you want?” Brain asked, though he knew the answer. 

He’d seen the movie. 

“Your voice.” 

Pinky’s smile was too wide and manic for Brain’s comfort. 

“In other words...” Pinky hummed as he leaned forward, his nose was just an inch away from Brain. “...no more talking, singing, zip!” 

He popped the consonant and mimed zipping his mouth, throwing away an invisible key.  

It was so warm that Brain couldn’t feel his face. 

“Now, now. Don’t be alarmed, Brain.” Pinky stretched luxuriously as he stood up. His tail slinked around Brain’s waist again. “You have your pretty face. And you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of...body language.” 

Pinky’s hip bumped into Brain’s, his leg sliding all the way out of the slit of his dress. He batted his eyelashes and blew a kiss to an invisible audience. 

Brain covered his face, ears flat against his back. He was fine. Just had to think about...something. What was he trying to picture exactly? 

No mathematical formula could save him from the horror that was stupid, sexy Pinky. Curse those mathematical miscreants! They abandoned him in his time of need!

Pinky climbed up and down the stepladder, tossing chemicals and liquids and all sorts of things inside. The bowl rocked back and forth dangerously, bubbles spilling down the sides. 

Brain didn’t dare get close. The inside of the bowl surely were an unholy abomination. 

But that didn’t stop Pinky. 

“Now a dash of zort, a sprinkle of poit! Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble! Fire burn and cauldron bubble!” Pinky cackled, throwing his arms up in the air. “Abracadabra troz! Bibbidi bobbidi narf!” 

The mixture now to his satisfaction, Pinky flicked his finger at a notepad and pen, sending them hurtling towards Brain. 

“Just sign on the dotted line, you poor unfortunate soul,” Pinky said.

Well...playing along couldn’t hurt. Even when there was a biohazard right in front of him. 

And no, the bowl’s contents weren’t the biohazard here. 

Brain took a deep breath and signed his name. 

The moment he finished, the notepad and pen flew out of his hands and into the bowl. 

Pinky wiggled his fingers over the bowl, green smoke rising to the ceiling and seeping past the edges of the blackout curtains to the outside. No smoke detectors went off, though Brain wasn’t surprised. ACME was rather lax on safety protocols. 

“Beluga sevruga, come winds of the Caspian Sea! 

Larengix glaucitis

Et max laryngitis

La voce to me!”

With a wide grin that spread from ear to ear, Pinky climbed down the stepladder and placed one hand on his seashell necklace, the other tickling the base of Brain’s neck. Brain ducked his head instinctively to stop the ticklish sensation, trapping Pinky’s hand under his jaw.

“Now sing.”

It was rare that Pinky commanded. Brain hated taking orders, yet something compelled him to obey.

Those coy blue eyes demanded, so Brain willingly gave.

And he sang.

Though he was hoarse from surprise at first, Pinky’s finger traced the outline of his neck, up his chin, to the corner of his mouth. Brain imagined his voice growing stronger...could see his voice taking physical form, flowing out of him and into Pinky’s seashell necklace.

Pinky doubled over in laughter as an explosion rocked the counter. The bowl sparked and smoked, its base clattering against the surface with loud metallic bangs. 

Brain broke out of his trance as a sludge-like wave with various melted objects slithered down the rim, creeping ever closer. 

He wasn’t taking any chances. 

Grabbing his maniacally howling companion by the arm, Brain quickly bopped him over the head to halt the laughter, then dragged him over to the window for a quick escape. Pinky recovered from the bop and shimmied past the blackout curtain. Brain took a moment to collect the ACME credit card he’d pilfered from an employee several weeks ago, then followed Pinky onto the windowsill. 

Pinky jumped first, safely landing in the bushes below. Holding the credit card above his head, which was no easy feat since the card was about the same size as him, Brain jumped as an explosion rocked the building, and his ears flattened instinctively to shield him from the worst of the noise. 

As predicted, he landed in Pinky’s arms. 

And it was somewhat mortifying now that Pinky’s eyes had gone from coy to blindingly innocent, even with the heavy eyeshadow. Shoving the card between himself and Pinky’s face, Brain climbed out of his arms. 

“Narf! So how’d I do, Brain?” Pinky asked. “Was I convincing?” 

Brain dusted off a bit of lavender dye that had rubbed onto his arm. He hoped it was fur-friendly. “You created a dangerous biohazard, toyed with my perception of reality, and overall you were a flirtatious nuisance.” 

Pinky’s tail stopped wagging. 

“So yes. You were indeed a convincing villain,” Brain said. He tapped the credit card. “And to fulfill the conditions of our original deal, I shall now treat you to Denny’s.” 

He was a mouse of his word. 

“Hoorah!” Pinky cheered. He twirled around in excitement, his black dress swirling around him as he danced all the way to the sidewalk. “Let’s go, Brain! I wanna look at all the lovely pictures on their menu!” 

“You’re going like that?” Brain called after him. Didn’t he want to change out of the Disney villainess ensemble? 

“Well you’re naked! So there!” Pinky stuck his tongue out at him. 

With a sigh, Brain joined his companion on the sidewalk. Pinky skipped over to a patch of white flowers blooming next to the sidewalk, gently cupping the petals and cooing at a ladybug which landed on a blade of grass next to his foot. 

Truly a convincing villain. 

And Brain’s poor unfortunate soul was helpless under his power. 

End AN: I deny selecting Poor Unfortunate Souls over other villain songs specifically for the body language line. You can’t prove anything. 

I HC that Brain would hate Pettigrew more than any other Harry Potter character. I was trying to write a villainous Pinky...somewhere along the way he turned into Pinky Suavo. I don’t get it either XD

There's some folks taking care of the biohazard the mice left behind. Don't worry, the lab's still standing. It's just their problem while the mice get Denny's. 

[ladybirdwithoutdots]

(long post about) why I love Flynn’s Mr. Knightley (and this version of the romance)

Someone said that the best thing about Emma 2020′s Mr Knightley is the fact we see the story from his pov too. I was thinking about that a bit more and I think, indeed, it’s a correct take and the reason why I love him too.

First of all,  I think Johnny Flynn did a great work balancing the assuredness and seriousness of the character with his funny and sweet side, and he surprisingly embodies the down-to-earth, eccentric gentleman side of the character and his yourthful, sensible, passionate, soft masculinity energy.   He’s 37, just like Knightley, and I know some think the age difference between him and Emma should be always over the top obvious but this interpretation isn’t, IMO, so consistent with how Austen actually depicts their relationship and the character for she describes him as youthful and effervescent for a gentleman of his status, and you see his maturity only when he argues with her (in the movie you see that when she kisses him too for he does come across as much more experienced than her there ;) ), but he’s otherwise young and not so ‘fatherly’ to her.

I like all the Mr Knightley, I think they all bring something different to the character, but it’s true that in other adaptations he’s forced to tone down his feelings a bit more. I think it’s because the novel is from Emma’s pov, and his love comes as a surprise to her in the end, so other adaptations try to misdirect Emma and the audience a bit. IMHO, it would've been a mistake if yet another adaptation handled his character like that, though, and I can see why a female creative team humanized the character a bit giving him a bit more agency too.

Mr Knightley's love and jealousy for Emma challenge his self-control in the novel. He dislikes Frank without even meeting him just because Emma talks about him. He is surprisingly impulsive when he runs away to London because he thinks Emma is attached to Frank. With the same impulsivity, he leaves his brother and rides under the rain to get to Emma as soon as possible when he thinks she’s distressed over the news about Frank’s engagement to Jane. His declaration of love is something that just happens, without any premeditation or control, because he simply can't help it anymore. Most of this turmoil happens offscreen, though, within the walls of his lonely house and when he runs away from Emma and stays with his brother after Box Hill.  It’s only in the end that you get his pov a bit but you are otherwise not privy to all the details.

Autumn de Wilde chose to show his transformation and turmoil.  His affection for Emma (and jealousy) is obvious from the beginning but Johnny Flynn keeps enough ambiguity to make it believable when, after dancing with Emma, the realization that he’s in love with her and he can’t hide it anymore briefly trasforms his character into a lovesick fool.  I find most of their choices with the character are a clever way to extrapolate his pov in the story from the ‘if i loved you less’ line for you do see he is always struggling with his feelings, torn between the fact he wants to tell her, and the fact he doesn’t think she loves him back or it’s too late for him because of Frank’s interference. For some people, scenes such as the one where he has a meltdown after the ball because of his feelings for Emma will be very familiar, and they will recognize what is happening to him on screen for what the director intended it: a panic attack.  It’s real for a character who, since the beginning, is the most human. And it’s valid because when you think about Mr Knightley and what he goes through even in the novel, he has many reasons to be heartbroken for he really, really, loves her and there is so much conflict in him for many reasons.

Unlike what some writers, and even the audience sometimes might think, those moments where you see his feelings and vulnerabilities don’t make him weak, they just make him (just like in the novel) simply human and make you understand that it isn’t just Emma that has a journey but Knightley too who has his assuredness challenged by love. I think I also realized why they deleted this:

It’s because they gave his character more agency. The scene in the movie keeps the same energy of the one in the novel even without him touching her. Especially because he doesn’t touch her. Because he can’t. You can feel he wants to tell her much more but he can’t. He struggles even looking at her. I think there is another reason why they changed this scene a bit, though: it’s Emma and how this movie develops the romance from her side too. In the book, Emma realizes at last that she had always been in love with him but one of the reasons why she hadn’t realized her feelings before is because she took him for granted. She is mature enough to admit it to herself: she was always sure of the fact she was first for him and his affection for her was unquestioned. It’s only in the end, when she realizes she could lose him that she’s forced to admit her feelings for him. This movie emphasizes this all the more by taking out the detail above because here Emma needs to see his feelings (even if she still doesn’t know why he acts this way. She just thinks she has ruined their relationship and lost his affection), and that he isn’t someone to take for granted. This forces her to realize her feelings for him all the more.

In the novel,  the journey of Emma’s feelings and realization is in her thoughts for the most part; it’s the (amusing) contraddiction between what she thinks she feels and what her thoughts actually hint that give you the clues about her feelings for him even before she realizes them herself. Realistically, we have to recognize that this isn’t something that a film adaptation can easily convey on screen and sometimes, Emma’s feelings for him may feel very sudden in the end if there isn’t enough build up. In this movie they changed this a bit so you see Emma’s own journey a bit more: she’s attracted to him from the beginning, she’s jealous of Jane (changing the singing scene so that it’s Mr Knightley and Jane was a clever, yet effective, way to include Emma’s jealousy from that moment in the book where Mrs Weston makes that comment about them), she shows her attraction for him in the dance scene (a nod to book Emma also finding him hot there even while it’s with Frank she’s dancing). The ‘not brother and sister’ scene is also handled well for it’s a foundamental moment for me because it’s the moment where you not only realize he’s in love with her, but Emma is subconsciously trying to tell him she’s not his sister and he can thus see her as a woman and possible partner. In the movie Emma does feel that something between them is different from before.. and then, at last, she realizes she had been in love with him the whole time. As I said at the beginning, other adaptations tend to relegate their romance to the last act, the very end, a bit only because it’s where Emma realizes her feelings and the fact they keep Mr Knightley more aloof and surprising as a love interest is a way to misdirect the audience too.  But!  Who are you kidding??? Everyone knows who ends up with in Emma and that she and Mr Knightley are in love! So why not place their romance to the foreground from the beginning, for once?  It’s actually a clever way to include and emphasize a lot of things from the novel too that would get lost, not least the subtle, Austen-clever, journey to Emma’s feelings too.

(sorry for the wall of text!)

[spectralscathath]

Like-Minded Souls, Indeed?

Because this was exactly what Mercury needed, the voice of someone his boss killed showing up in his head and telling him to save the world. No thank you. Not unless you paid him.

Meanwhile, on Ozpin's side of things, he would like to very much not be found out by Salem. That would be... unfortunate.

Ao3 Link

Chapter 1: In Which Neither Mercury Nor Ozpin Can Ever Catch A Break

Ozpin felt the tugs of Ozma's magic at the corners of his mind, the limbo of their incarnations finally broken as a like-minded soul was bonded with.

He awoke in the back of someone's mind, still bleary as though he was physically waking up from a deep sleep. The mindscape was quiet with a forced calm, tension like pulled strings threading through the soul of this new individual and ready to snap at the slightest touch.

He looked out a set of new eyes, to see if it was a good time to introduce himself, and felt ancient fear flood through him at the sight of Ozma's oldest and most terrible foe. Oh. Oh no. This was very bad. This was quite possibly the worst place he could incarnate.

Salem herself, smiling at the girl who had killed him under Beacon. To die in fire was not an experience the countless souls wanted to repeat, and Ozpin was unfortunate enough to join the ranks of the few predecessors who’d suffered such a painful death.

He chose to say nothing, instead observing the way silver strands of hair fell over the side of his vision, how the body ached with phantom pains that were not Ozpin's, and wisely retreated back into the mind.

Perhaps another time.

Perhaps when Mr Mercury Black was not currently surrounded by danger.

After all, they both had to make the best of things now. He could only hope that Mr Black would be the type who could be persuaded away from Salem.

If not, then this was going to be... difficult.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ozpin had been a father, so many lifetimes before. He had never been perfect, he had made countless mistakes across Ozma's many lifetimes, he accepted them all as his failures, so he could learn from them and do better in the next life.

He had given his second life in a futile attempt to save his daughters, and sometimes wondered if he regretted his choices. Should he have stayed? If he had stayed, would he still be alive? Would his children still be alive?

The look Marcus Black wore in so many of Mercury's memories reminded him too much of Salem to ever again regret his attempt to escape her clutches.

He had been waiting a long time, studying Mercury’s routine so he could find the safest time to breach the gap between them. He had to say, this was an opportunity like no other, to see what Salem’s plans were without detection, but with great reward came terrible risk. All it would take was one slip, and they’d both be dead. Or worse. And if he did nothing, then all the knowledge he could gain would be for naught.

So he waited until they were alone before he could chance speaking to him, until Mercury had retreated to his corners and locked the door, shoving a chair under the handle as was his custom. He was paranoid, which was a very fair response to the situation. The massive wardrobe must have taken some shoving to put it in the path of the window, but it certainly did prevent any unwelcome visitors who might see it as a means of entry.

The bed pushed into the corner was wise as well, to put his back to a wall,  although the fact that Mercury piled his pillows under the covers as a decoy and then slept under the bed itself might have been pushing it somewhat.

He waited until Mercury was sitting on the bed, looking over his weapons and performing any upkeep needed, the faint cyan glow from the vents in his prosthetics lining his silver fringe.

Mr Black, don’t be alarmed.

“What the FUCK?!” Mercury bolted upright, knife in hand as he looked around, head swinging to every potential place an intruder could be. “Who’s there?!”

Professor Ozpin. He had to think quickly. Don’t tell Salem or she will kill you. This is part of my curse as her opponent, I must incarnate into a new mind with every death, and I am now currently in yours.

“No the fuck you are not.” Mercury snarled. “Show yourself, come out and face me.”

I can’t, actually. He should try and enter Mercury’s dream. He personally had never done that, but Ozma had, so therefore he had as well… hadn’t he? It seemed the lines were blurring between himself and Ozma already. More than they had been when he was alive. He’d been one of the more compatible hosts, on account of not having anything that really needed Ozpin Headley more than it needed Ozma-in-Ozpin’s-head.

“Nope. Okay. I’ve gone mad. I’ve been up too long.”

That is true. Mercury had a terrible case of insomnia, it seemed. Though with the night terrors he had, it was understandable. He was about to have a whole lot more, once the merge hit the point where Ozpin was able to fade into the memory consciousness, just as Ozana had when she had joined the other incarnations in the depths of their shared subconscious.

He was hoping he could spare the young man the nightmares from hundreds of deaths. Ten thousand years was a long time to live and die and live again. Mr Black, I assure you, this is not an ideal situation for me either, but you must understand that you are not crazy and that I am now-

“Taking up residence in my head like a fucking pervert? What, running a school wasn’t enough for you to get your sick kicks?” Mercury snarled at him.

Okay, that was uncalled for. Mr Black, that is very untrue. This is just something that happens . After all, someone had to stop Salem.

“Fuckin- alright, fine, so I’ve gone mad. What else is new?” Mercury grumbled, sitting back down and angrily sharpening a knife.

You’re very sane, I assure you. Ozana had told him something similar, if a bit less polite.

“Right, I’m talking to a voice in my head while living in a castle owned by some sort of humanoid Grimm witch, that’s the definition of sanity.” Mercury snarked at him.

If you can believe Salem’s existence, then surely you can believe mine?

“I don’t believe anything you say. Can you go back to shutting up?” Mercury’s anger was a tangible force in their head, not like a wildfire, but more like a poison, something that slowly corroded whatever it touched. It was a very cold anger.

I’m afraid not. I must insist that you leave this place before Salem finds out of my presence, or she WILL kill you then and there. Or worse. There could be so much worse. Salem had been around far longer than he had, by sheer virtue of her immortality working differently. It had left her with a large pool of creative methodology for causing pain, many of which had been lost to time.

He didn’t want to undergo that as much as Mercury likely wouldn’t want to either, so that meant leaving was their best choice. He’d been listening in on a few of the meetings that Salem had hosted, finding out that Haven was the next target, and Vacuo after that. He’d also found that she hadn’t yet obtained the Crown of Choice, but that she did still have at least one operative in Vale looking. He wished them luck. He personally had decided to move the Beacon Vault and hide it a little better after he took over the school.

There was no way Salem’s people could find it. Not without his knowledge. Or Jinn’s knowledge.

He had to keep Jinn out of Salem’s reach. If summoned, she wouldn’t choose not to answer Salem’s question. She didn’t have that sense of morality. To the Relics, all that mattered was their task, and the rules that bound them to it.

So, Mercury, when do we leave?

“You’re stupid.” Mercury told him bluntly. “We’re on another continent with no way off that isn’t controlled by Salem. There is no leaving. At least not until she sends me out on a job. So here’s the deal, you shut the fuck up, and then maybe when I’m out of this creepy fucking castle, we can talk.” Ozpin could hear the lie in there. Mercury had zero intentions of ever talking to him again.

But it was a good idea, for safety’s sake. He would have to be a silent observer. After all, the walls could have ears.

Besides, once they were out on a job, so to speak, he could simply start talking again. After all, that was the letter of the potential agreement, if not Mercury’s intention.

Agreed. I will see you when we are in the clear.

“Piss off.” Mercury grumped at him, and just this once, Ozpin chose to comply. He could use the time to gather information, and silence was a small price to pay for that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mercury followed Emerald, Watts, and Cinder into the safehouse Lionheart had brought for them, feeling a strange sense of betrayal flood him that was definitely not his. He realised it was probably Ozpin, who had so far remained quiet during the flight out of Evernight, meeting up with Watts, and going over battleplans for confronting Raven Branwen.

He’d been tuned in just to see what his role was (he was Thug #2, the muscle who was meant to stand there and possibly kill someone if that kind of point had to be made), and was allowed to be basically invisible beyond that. He watched as Cinder went to cook herself dinner, and since she knew she controlled Emerald through food and shelter, probably Emerald as well. Mercury could cook for himself, if he had to, and Watts could starve for all they cared.

He wasn’t hungry anyway. Too busy trying to hold off on the wrenching nausea in his gut that was not his. “See ya, Em.” He shrugged at her, holding up his scroll. “I’m gonna play some Amid You. See ya tomorrow.”

“See ya, Merc.” She waved him off. She’d gotten a bit more tolerable since they got trapped together in the deathworld that was Salem’s castle. Not that they were friendly or anything. Just tolerable.

He made his way up the stairs and into one of the rooms, making sure it wasn’t the fanciest one because he’d let Cinder and Watts duke out ownership of that one. He locked the door, looking for something he could shove against it and picking the bedside table. It’d do.

He checked the window lock and pulled the curtains over, sitting on the bed as he played music on his scroll to mask the fact that he could be talking to himself, if only to tell Ozpin to shut the fuck up with the sadness.

“Alright asshole, what’s the problem.”

I can’t believe Leo would fall this far. Ozpin sounded fucking miserable. Sucks for him, he got betrayed. What happened to him? He was a hero for so long…

“People suck, get over it.” Seriously, if he’d been around since the asscrack of time, then he should know that.

Not always. Some people are good. It makes it hurt all the more when some of them turn out to… well. Stick a knife in your back . Ozpin sighed, impressive for a man who didn’t have a body or lungs. So. Now we can discuss you leaving this group and helping protect the Relic of Knowledge.

“Yeah, no, not happening. If there’s a mole on the inside of your old team, then me buggering off from Cinder is only gonna end up with us dead, which is that thing you didn’t want, right? After all, Leo runs Haven, and those kids Watts mentioned? First years and a drunken Huntsman. Haven’s dead meat.”

We have to try. Salem cannot be allowed to obtain any of the Relics.

“Nah. We have to survive. I’m not dying just because you wanna be a hero.” Mercury kicked his boots and greaves off, since he was out of Evernight, twirling his ankle a bit and listening to the metallic clicking the joint made.

Mr Black, I must insist. If the Vault in Haven is opened, it could go very badly. Besides, Qrow is my friend. I’d rather not risk him being hurt.

“Hey, the plan involves not going near Qrow. It’s a simple sneak in, sneak out, and the White Fang blow up the school a few days later. No one’s getting hurt, except for Lionheart. Clock’s ticking on his usefulness.” The plan was easy compared to Cinder’s weird domino pieces plan for taking down Beacon. He preferred the Haven plan that was clearly Salem and Watts’s idea. It was simple, no muss, no fuss. Easy pickings.

Gonna be great to see how Cinder’s rampaging ego ruined it, something easy like this clearly wouldn’t fuel her proud streak. She was just like Marcus. Always wanted a challenge. That was why he saved cutting off a target’s semblance for a finishing blow in his assassinations.

Haven Academy is important, Mercury, you can’t just let it be blown up! I won’t stand by while Salem steals the Relic and destroys another Academy! I can’t!

“All the Huntsman in Mistral are either dead or useless, gramps.” Mercury rolled his eyes. “Academy’s already useless. You should focus on the relic.” Maybe if he came up with another plan it’d get Ozpin off his back.

I don’t play to win at all costs, Mr Black. I try to protect as many pieces on the board as I can.

“That’s why you’re losing,” Mercury collapsed back on the bed, hooking his hands behind his head as he got comfortable. “How about another deal? We wait for Cinder to get the Relic. Watts has to go back to Evernight after dealing with Branwen, so the trip back will be me, her, and Emerald. Cinder won’t be expecting an attack, so how about we kill her, steal the ship, and then you can take the Relic wherever you want?”

And Emerald? Ozpin queried. Would you be killing her in this sneak attack as well?

That made him pause for a moment. Would he kill Emerald? Probably not, he didn’t need to. Cinder was absolutely a threat who had to be taken out as quickly as possible, but Emerald? Nah. “She’d probably get all butthurt that Cinder’s dead or whatever, but I don’t see why she should die as well. Worse comes to worst we’ll knock her out. We’d be doing her a favour, honestly. You’ve seen how Cinder treats her.” The fact that Ozpin was constantly watching everything was real fucking unnerving and something he tried to not think about at all times.

Hmmmm… Ozpin deliberated for ages, which made Mercury think he was probably scheming away. Whatever. Mercury wasn’t going to fall for any of it. What could a voice in his head do? Get sad at him? You think you can kill Cinder?

“I think that I’ve been watching how she fights for nearly two years now and that she’s got a massive blind spot on her left side.” It wouldn’t be easy, but it would be manageable. Amber got taken out too, after all. “You got anything that would help? Cinder said you put up a fight in that basement where she killed you.” He hoped that was uncomfortable to talk about. If he had to be disquieted by sharing headspace with a weirdo, so should Ozpin.

Yes. I have some magical ability left that can, at the very least, level the playing field a little bit. It’s not as strong as the Maiden’s magic, but if applied correctly, it could work.

Sounded like Ol’ Oz was coming around to ‘fuck everyone else, I got what I want in the end’. Selfish thinking won again. Why waste energy on stopping the destruction of a school when Cinder could be allowed to think she won and Mercury could then use that pride against her to escape this whole messed-up situation.

After all, Salem might be remaking the world and had offered to make him one of the top dogs, but in the pecking order, he was still near the bottom of the ladder. Besides, he did have her worst enemy in his head.

Escape was definitely the best option. “And hey, if she’s planning on attacking Vacuo after, think your buddy in Atlas would let us bunker down there?” If they did it right, then no one would know what happened. Cinder would be too dead to talk, Emerald would be a flight risk but he could probably talk her into not going back to work for Salem, and he sure wouldn’t tell anyone.

Yes. James can be trusted.

Just like Lionheart could, Mercury thought, but this one he kept to himself. “So. Deal?”

I don’t like this. It’s cruel and callous.

“I’m Mercury Black, have we met?” Why would he want to be anything else? The world was cruel. The only way to win was to take what you had and fight for what you wanted. No rules. No lines. Those made people weak.

… Very well. I’ll agree, for now.

“Then we’re done for tonight.”

I suppose we are. Thank you for hearing me out.

Mercury blinked perturbedly. Did he just get thanked? Weird. “Uh- sure. Whatever.”

Ozpin sounded way too amused as he chuckled, Mercury’s hackles rising only slightly. Good night, Mr Black.

Mercury snorted and didn’t bother replying, reaching for his scroll as he switched his music off and went into the games folder. Yeah it was gonna be a good night. He was gonna play video games til his eyes fell out and not sleep.

He supposed this situation with Ozpin could have been worse. At least the guy kept to himself and didn’t make a nuisance. If Mercury had to have a creepy man in his head talking to him, it could have been a lot worse. Could have had a Tyrian in there. Or a Watts.

Or his dad.

Mercury’s nose scrunched. Wouldn’t that be awful. Least Ozpin knew which of them was in control.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was chaos in Haven Academy’s foyer. Mercury dodged a wild swing from Yang, flipping back in a handspring as he errantly observed the room. Ozpin had not been happy about the ‘kill everyone’ plan but whatever, they were here now. Ozpin had been a lot louder since then and was still there, still currently losing his mind in the back of Mercury’s head. Mercury tried to tune most of it out. Wasn’t easy.

Mercury, please! This can’t be what you want! Ozpin begged as Mercury watched that kid in the green get thrown through a wall by Hazel. Ozpin always went real quiet around him. He wondered why. They’re just children!

He didn’t answer back, because fuck it, what did he know? Being a kid didn’t mean shit. Where was ‘just children’ when Marcus beat him up daily? Nowhere, that’s where.

You have to stop this! You’ll never be able to get the Relic now, the plan won’t work! This is our only chance!

He dodged another gunshot from Yang, which was criminally easy, she definitely had not gotten faster since their last fight, and checked in on the only threat. Qrow was- oh fuck he had stopped fighting Raven, disengaging from that little sibling duel to charge Hazel, landing a blow to the guy’s back with enough force that Hazel’s knee hit the ground. Mercury swore it dented from the weight behind that blow.

No no no no no no-

He whistled as he caught Yang’s kick in one of his own, forcing her leg down and scoring a punch directly to the floating ribs. Her eyes went red for a moment as she swung a hook at him, one that he dodged again, knocking her around with a few more kicks to the head. Had she gotten sloppier? He would be ashamed to fight this badly.

Mercury. Please. Don’t make me do this.

He glanced over at where Qrow was nimbly dodging Hazel’s blows before a cheap shot from Lionheart hit him in the shoulder, knocking his footwork off-balance long enough that Hazel got his hands on Qrow.

Mercury I’m so sorry-

“What-” Mercury asked before his vision flashed gold, and he was shunted into the back of his own head. Suddenly he was the voice, and Ozpin was in control- he had no control over his own body, no way to stop as Ozpin took a running leap, leaving a confused Yang behind, and landed a kick into the side of Hazel’s head, the shotgun blasting right in his ear.

Ozpin had took over. Ozpin… could take over. And he’d never mentioned it. He’d never-

Qrow looked at them, utterly dumbfounded. The entire room had gone dead quiet as Ozpin-in-Mercury’s-body artfully landed between Qrow and Hazel, not taking his eyes off the latter. Then he spoke with Mercury’s voice but it wasn’t Mercury’s words and it wasn’t right-

“I’d like my cane back, if you wouldn’t mind, Qrow.”

Cinder was staring. Emerald was staring. Everyone was staring as Mercury was turned into a fucking puppet, all his control stolen away. He hadn’t even known Ozpin could- He’d thought-

His view of their- their, not his- vision tunnelled, greying out at the edges. Haven wasn’t there anymore. It was just that house. His room. The smell of whiskey and blood and cigarette burns-

And Mercury clocked out, brain going black with panic.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He felt hands on his shoulders even though there were no hands on his shoulders, pulling him out of the darkness and shoving him back in the driver’s seat. He blinked, collapsed against a wall with a cane handle in his hand and Qrow leaning over him, the smell of alcohol on the other man’s breath hitting some button in his head too close too close-

“Get AWAY from me!” He shrieked, kicking him full in the chest and loosing a shotgun blast to make sure the point got across, the Relic clattering on the ground as Qrow lost his grip on it. His hand clenched on the cane handle so hard it was shaking, and he threw that away as hard as he could.

Mercury, I am so sorry, I swear, I didn’t want to ever have to do that to you, but you left me no choice-

“ Shut up!” He snapped, voice ragged and a little too raw as he pulled his knees defensively to his chest and dug his fists into silver hair, tugging until the burn on his scalp felt like he was pulling Ozpin’s voice out of his head.

He heard footsteps come closer and looked up from his defensive curl, a knife appearing in his hand as he met Lil Red’s silver eyes, wide with concern and simmering with underlying resentment. “Professor Ozpin?”

Mercury, you have to understand, we can’t let Salem get the Relic-

He remembered a similar look on her face when she saw him walking again in the maintenance hall of Amity Colosseum. He snarled back this time, instead of a cocky smirk. “No. Come near me and I’ll rip your fucking face off.”

“Don’t talk to my sister like that!” Yang snapped, her eyes bright red as she glared at him, the Schnee keeping a hand on her shoulder to keep her in line. Fucking try it, Blondie, he’d take her other arm off, they could match.

Ruby wisely took a step back, still easily too close for him to handle. “Mercury?” her hand twitched towards the gun on her back

Mercury? Will you let me explain?

“All of you shut up.” He glared at the Relic, kicking it away as he jumped to his feet. He couldn’t handle this. It was too much, too much control lost- and Emerald wasn’t there, FUCK. So much for doing her a favour. He looked at everyone, feeling cornered, skin alive with fire ants that weren’t really there and legs burning with phantom aches, and did the only thing he could do when fighting wasn’t the option.

He bolted, clearing the stairs behind him and disappearing into Haven Academy, picking a random room that wasn’t Lionhearts (he was not going NEAR a fucking Seer, no thank you) and locking the door.

Mercury, I truly am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. Ozpin told him gently, and the worst thing was that he sounded like he meant it.

“Don’t ever talk to me again.” Mercury snarled, and started breaking everything in the room that he could get his hands on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Man, Ozpin's sections got deeper then I expected but then again the guy has identity issues for sure. Where does Ozma end and Ozpin begin? Things we will literally never know!

[callistolivia]

Lilith in the Birthchart

“Within Black Moon Lilith, we find a woman’s turmoils and fears, the balance between how people see women and how we wish to see women, the internal and external rejection of womanhood, absurd reactions and compensations to actively change perception (transformation), the snake. Lilith isn’t of lust, isn’t a creature, demon, seductress, witch, nor Adam ex-wife... She is purely a metaphor of young womanhood and coming to terms with woman’s fears and desires; the uniqueness of the female experience.” Look at this post here for my full interpretation of Black Moon Lilith.

I realize this post, as well as my other post on Lilith, plus other posts I’ve done on feminine asteroids, will be controversial to a lot of people as it heavily focuses on women/feminine experience. To me, I think the astrological placement of Lilith (among other certain placements) hold particular importance to the female experience. So I pardon my blatant exclusion of male experience and I can imagine that a lot of the themes I am describing can work in a male’s birth chart. The psychological history behind Lilith has strong connections to female representation which is why I interpret it this way. With that all said, everyone has both masculine and feminine energies working within their chart which is to be remembered. 

Black Moon Lilith in the Birthchart

Interpret by house first, as the house Lilith is in uncovers more of the whereabouts to its themes in your life. Though, by sign will also uncover themes, especially in a strong sign such as Scorpio. Aspects to Lilith can also indicate the condition of the affected house.

I House/Aries  Lilith here is on the forefront and becomes an integral part of the individual’s identity. Its as if Inanna herself is personified in the individual (especially true if Lilith conjuncts the ascendant!) and she is on a quest to carve her throne in the Huluppu tree. The fears enveloped here revolve around being true to oneself and having an authentic feminine experience in their lifetime. There are also fears of being perceived in an unfavoured way and others making poor assumptions about the individual. These individuals will go through many trials of what is means to be a woman, especially in very pivotal moments of their life. They’re going to go through many moments of questioning their identity and will likely struggle at times to accept that they are perfect just the way they are. These individuals may go out of their way to seek validation for who they are and these outlets aren’t always good (especially if Lilith is ill-aspected). Natural attractiveness is common for individuals with this goddess placement, but they should be wary of this power to draw energies force (Some already are and may even fear attraction of others, especially when its for superficial reasons). It’s important for the individual to stay with the right crowd and not worry so much about their authenticity as it comes more naturally than they think. 

II House/Taurus  Lilith in the house regarding value explores themes of self-value. Lilith at its worst here can manifest in issues dealing with body image; the individual may have trouble loving their body and neglect to care for it. The individual’s relationship with food and nutrition can be particularly troublesome, especially if Lilith is ill-aspected here. Compensation is another theme to follow as a consequence to issues dealing with self-value. The individual may compensate in areas where they feel inadequate with themselves by material means. Spoiling oneself, food, money, beauty, extreme alteration, or anything to mask one’s true self are all second house compensations Lilith looks for to feel better, worthy, or secure in this world. Remarkably, the individual’s capacity for transformation is great. If they can heal their wounds and fears around the value of themselves, they can redirect that perception of unreachable perfection into their work. Artists in particular can benefit from this redirection of energy. It’s really important for these individuals to navigate away from material things giving them importance to this world; every material thing they think they need is really just a compensation for something they failed to see within themselves that has always been there.

III House/Gemini  Lilith here resembles a tale of trickery, when the goddess Inanna intoxicates “lord of wisdom,” Enki into giving her all of his knowledge and wisdom. Symbolically, Lilith holds all of truth, wisdom, and knowledge here. Particularly the theme of women holding knowledge and the empowerment in that is strong here as well. Individuals with this placement tend to be cunning; this placement is comparable to Mercury-Pluto or Mercury-Moon aspects. Lilith speaks through the individual, some of what the individual has to say evokes fear, though there is just as much power to negate and heal fear as well. Lilith here at its worst can make individuals liars and manipulators, at its best unravellers of mysteries and forecomings of truth. Since the third house has rulership over siblings and early education, this placement can have a “coming-of-age” theme to it. Often the fears and anxieties the individual has is stems from observing their siblings and peers go through their struggles at a young age and they reflect on what that means for them (especially for young girls). Some of these fears and insecurities from their youth stick with them and they continue to ponder their adolescence as an adult. These individuals tend to have a fixed perception (especially true if the third house is occupied by a fixed sign) of womanhood and aren’t afraid to speak their mind about it. They are easily disgusted and troubled by observing others with opposing perspectives. With that said, some of these individuals tend to be hypocritical and aren’t aware of it. The individual may need to learn to be more of a safe-haven for open discussion to work through their insecurities. 

IV House/Cancer  Lilith presenting itself in the first of the three soul houses demonstrates ancestral fear, turmoils, and mysteries. Often these individuals fears start out very subconsciously and are developed from witnessing other family members (maternal figures especially) go through something traumatic. Witnessing their mother struggle through their own perceptions of what it means to be a woman in this world has a tremendous effect on the individual, especially at a young age; it often shapes how the individual will view themselves and their place in the world. It can also make the individual have many preconceived ideas on motherhood, domestic life, and relationships between parents based on being their mother’s observer in their youth. If the relationship between the individual and their maternal figure(s) isn’t good, it can be difficult to address and heal these traumas. Sometimes these individuals can be total estranged from their maternal figures and have an unclear idea of what their stories are; many secrets can be kept from the individual and there can be a bit of loss in identity (e.g. no feminine guidance in youth/how to be feminine/rejection of femininity). The individual’s household can sometimes be a reflection of their inner turmoils, they may neglect making it their safe space or they see it as a cause to a lot of their issues. Lilith here can also express itself in a form of past life karma or a karmic cycle the individual may be in. The individual needs to work through what their fears, turmoils, and angers are tied to in order to break this cycle. 

V House/Leo  Lilith here is a trial of what a woman is allowed to do. Since the fifth house rules over creations and pleasures, there is a lot of experimentation in just that. The individuals feel as though push their limits and test the waters in everything because the world is antagonistic towards their identity. Their fear is being casted into an archetype; at an early age they would be introduced to concepts of how the world perceives the role of femininity. A lot of their behaviour can be excessive or reckless, especially in their youth. There is a tendency towards promiscuousness especially; they’re putting the two feminine archetypes on trial and attempting to destroy the notion that you can only be of the two based on what you do; the virgin Mary or the prostitute. Though a noble intention, these individuals can often be misguided with their excessive behaviours. They spend too much energy on trying to prove something to the world about their being when they don’t need to. Lilith here has the capacity to transform and redirect this noble energy into creative efforts. Artists can benefit with this placement as their creations are often thought provoking and, in essence, demonstrate trials of femininity. The creative expression of Lilith here is much more healing, gratifying, and gains more positive recognition. Lilith here can also indicate either the choice of not having children or that the individual’s child will be very Lilithian in nature.

VI House/Virgo  Lilith here presents itself irrationally, particularly, and sporadically. Though the individual doesn’t feel Lilith’s influence on a constant, it can be experienced on a day to day basis temporarily while doing minute or seemingly regular things. The fears brought upon here correlate to injury or illness (diseases, losing limbs, loss of function, etc.). These individuals find themselves irrationally thinking of the “what ifs” of rather normal situations. It should be stressed though, that often these individual’s fears are often not debilitating, just invasive and vivid. However, a strong 6th house/Virgo influence coincide with Lilith being there can indicate some obsessive compulsive behaviours and just in general lots of situations where the individual feels the need to do something a certain way to negate harm. The other prominent theme of Lilith here is a women’s experience in the working world. The transition between a young, inexperienced woman to an experienced one is a pivotal moment in Lilith’s expression here. There may be many difficulties, assumptions, and fears correlated to getting work, job experience, and moving up in their field. The individual’s fears often are related to feeling inadequate based on their identity, presumptions about themselves, and inhibitions because of their heightened awareness that their identity (especially for women, as a woman) places them in a particular way in the world. Their own perceptions of themselves are often the most inhibiting; the best way to transform and feel empowered with Lilith here is to be unapologetically yourself and take the world by surprise. 

VII House/Libra  In the seventh house, Lilith expresses fears of counterparts, peers, and juxtapositions. Lilith here usually hints to a tainted perception of relationships developed at a young age (e.g. abusive relationships firsthand or observed). The individual can be very suspicious and distrusting of close relationships and partnerships, they are very skeptical of others motives, especially of the opposite sex. This may be troublesome for the individual in relationships as they can be suspicious of their partner even with constant reassurance and stability. These issues can only be healed over time with positive, healthy relationships. Lilith in the seventh house is also troubled by their perception of themselves in comparison to others and vice versa. In particular, the conscious awareness of differences (and similarities) between genders and gendered experiences. Alternatively, Lilith here manifests as the individual’s reflection in others. The individual encounters people whose stories inspire things within their identity they’ve failed to see before. The mirror Lilith presents to the individual can be empowering and beautiful or destructive and ugly. When the individual chooses to surround themselves with empowering and inspiring individuals, it will bring out the good Lilith has to offer, especially for female experiences. 

VIII House/Scorpio  Lilith presenting itself in the second of three soul houses demonstrates yet again, a level of ancestral fear, turmoils, and mysteries. Fears experienced on a more conscious level, but run as deep as their soul. Often their fears revolve around sexuality and severe distrust of other people’s motives. It’s very difficult for these individuals to ignore harsh realities and they may even go out of their way to witness gruesome things which awakens outrage within. These individuals can view sex and intimacy as something traumatic and have a difficult time opening up to their partners; intimacy requires a tremendous amount of trust. Even when that trust is gained, there can be a deeply rooted discomfort in being viewed in a lustful manner. They can be very hateful towards the opposite sex and protective of their own. These individuals hate (or fear) to appear small or vulnerable and may even act dominant or controlling in relationships. These individuals need to work towards trusting others in order to let go of the grip Lilith has here. Another theme Lilith expresses is a fear of death, fear of knowing, and fear of the occult. This can be especially difficult for a person who is psychically sensitive. The individual may go out of their way to inhibit or block their own gifts due to the fear of it showing something they were not prepared for. Again, trust is a big aspect of overcoming these fears, but also knowledge and perceptiveness to know how to keep oneself from harm. 

IX House/Sagittarius  Lilith in the ninth house carries some of the same themes as Lilith in the third, however the difference is that instead of fixed perceptions on womanhood, their perceptions are more like beliefs and morals. They think their beliefs are imperative and the highest of truths which ultimately can be dogmatic and misguided. Their fixed beliefs are usually rooted from fear and superstition. They can be just as hypocritical as Lilith in the third too, especially when their consciousness isn’t clear (drugs or alcohol or any sort of substance abuse involved). Inner insecurities need to be addressed and healed to have a more rational perspective on life. There is a hyperfixation on the higher learnings of womanhood, some of these individuals can become reclusive; some women with this placement even opt to not marry. These individuals find empowerment in independence. Lilith at its best here can become a teacher to others, particularly beneficial for people interested in women’s studies and women’s health; however these individuals should be wary of their biases and their perceptions that are deeply rooted in their personal experiences thus far. Themes of feminine ritual take place here as well, which is in part of their tendency to superstition. Individual’s ritualism is developed at a young age and becomes a prominent part of their truth and reality as an adult.

X House/Capricorn  Lilith here can be rather difficult for the female experience. The themes brought upon here are a lot to do with the public’s speculation of the individual. These individuals tend to have a seemingly easy-breezy path towards the top of their field, in fact, one might say the top of their ambition drew them in as much as they drew it. However, Lilith here has a magnifying glass over it; the watchful eyes of the public seeing, judging, and speculating the individual’s every move. The individual may find themselves dealing with a lot of rumours about them, prosecution by association, misconceptions, unwanted drama, and assumptions. A lot of the troubles are correlated to society’s perception of how a woman should behave. The public sees the individual as the dark and mischievous version of Lilith, the public desires and feeds on that perception of the individual. As a result, the individual may purposefully act out or feel complete shame and go into hiding. Issues dealing with feeling vulnerable all the time because of their identity are very present within the individual. Lilith at its best here can make a notable feminine figurehead, the individual just needs to work on transforming the public’s perception of femininity as something empowering. The other theme with Lilith in the tenth house is potential issues with the paternal figure in the individual’s life. There’s potential that the paternal figure had a great impact on the core of individual’s feminine experience and perceptions in life. 

XI House/Aquarius  Lilith in the eleventh house deals with themes of the individual’s collective consciousness being at the core of their feminine experience. Collective consciousness usually meaning their friends; prominent, reality shaping experiences with their friends and peers at a young age are at the core of their insecurities, fears, and perceptions of feminine energy. This placement does demonstrate not so great relations with friends, especially female friends. In fact, that is Lilith in the eleventh house at its worst; bullying from female friends and the psychological damage from that. It’s very easy for individuals with this placement to alienate themselves from others based on negative experiences. At its best, collective consciousness can be beneficial for exploring and understanding femininity and female experience as a whole, but the individual with this placement will have to navigate through to find the right people, or their people. Individuals with this placement may be interested in helping others struggling with feminine identity and some of the struggles of womanhood as they are quite empathetic to that experience. Another theme with Lilith here is the value of platonic relations. Individuals with this placement struggle with the stage between a platonic relationship and blooming attraction. There’s a deep discomfort with it, especially if they value the relationship as just a friendship and nothing more. They can also be suspicious of the motives of new friendships, perhaps from deeply rooted insecurity or simply that they don’t want a romantic/sexual relationship. 

XII House/Pisces  Lilith presenting itself in the third and final soul house is completely unconscious; Lilith is asleep and almost absent here. Loss of feminine identity takes place here. Individuals with this placement will experience Lilith’s themes within their dreams and times of total darkness. Individuals with this placement aren’t always aware of their trauma, fears, or turmoils. There’s a chance something traumatic happened to them at a time they cannot remember or it’s something they blocked out entirely, but tends to haunts them within their dreams. These individuals tend to be very angry at themselves for things they cannot control and for things that are often not their fault. These individuals are also escapists; they are very susceptible to addiction or obsessive compulsive behaviours. Though, Most 12th house Lilith individuals escape through sleeping. Excessive sleeping, however, leads to guilt. These individuals fear death and don’t want to watch life pass them by. There’s a big theme here of push and pull; doing everything you can in life to not regret missing out and the absence of living life. Lilith here needs to seek balance and acceptance instead of pondering too much about what fate lies within them. The unconscious traumas within them need to be carefully addressed and healed as well to feel comfortable with their identity and place in this world (especially as a woman).

[soulhealingpractice]

The Pendulum Guide

Let’s start at the beginning… What is a pendulum?

A pendulum is a small weight on a string or chain. That’s it. It can be any weight, and it can be any sort of string or chain. Normally they are small. The weight is normally an object about 1/2 inch by 1 inch in size. The chain or string is usually about 8 inches long. The whole thing fits easily in a small pocket.

Throughout history pendulums have been used to locate water, gold, gems, and other valuable items. In Europe early scientists and doctors would use pendulums to locate infections and weak areas of the body. Doctors would also use certain pendulums to determine the gender of unborn infants.

People also trust the pendulum enough and have developed such a relationship to let the the pendulum guide them with the most difficult spots of their lives. During WWII, a pendulum was used to help him locate bombs. Many miners from South Africa will invite pendulists to help them locate precious minerals in the earth. These small wonders have a long history.

What can I use a pendulum for?

Ah, it is a wondrous tool. Quite simply you can use it to answer almost any question you might have. Now be advised that it can only say “yes” or “no” so you do have to work at the answers a bit. But with that, the uses are almost boundless. Will I get a job? Will I marry? Should I move to California? Should I go out with her? Is Friday a good day for the party?

Of course at this point, you have an obvious question, “how does the pendulum know the answer?”

How does a pendulum work?

Quite simply, a pendulum react to your subconscious mind. When held properly, the pendulum will react to very small nerve reactions in your fingers that are generated by your unconscious mind in response to a question poised. Different nerve reactions will be detected depending on what your subconscious mind knows.

These nerve reactions are transmitted to your fingers from your unconscious mind and thru your fingers to the chain holding the weight of the pendulum. These tiny never transmissions affect the chain and are then transmitted thru the chain to the weight –causing it to move in some direction.

So to debunk the first myth, a pendulum is not moved by some spirit, or by magic, it is moved by your mind, just the part you can’t normally communicate with very well. But, there is some “magic” If we can figure out how to interpret the signals from the subconscious mind, we can communicate with it! It can tell us things our conscious mind doesn’t know.

Where are my keys? 

For example, Let’s say you lost your keys. Well, probably you actually know where you left your keys. You were there at the time. However, your conscious mind was doing something else. It didn’t register where you were when you put them down. Your subconscious mind however wasn’t busy and it knows. Now you want your conscious mind to know, so you can go get them.

So out comes the pendulum. You need it to have your subconscious mind tell you where the keys are.

How does a pendulum move?

Now, a pendulum can only move in about four directions. It can move back and forth towards and away from you; it can move left and right, in can swing in a circle counter-clockwise, or it can swing in a circle clockwise. That’s about it.

So how can it say “Your keys are in the garage”?

Well, that takes us to the need to “set up” our mind to use a pendulum. Let’s see how we do that, then we can come back to finding our keys.

How do I set up to use a pendulum?

To use a pendulum, you need to be able to read its motions.

Here’s how: First, sit in a chair at a table in a quite place, preferable alone. Put one elbow on the table and let the pendulum dangle from your fingers. Prop your elbow with your other hand. Hold the chain between your thumb and forefinger with just enough force to keep from dropping the pendulum. The pendulum should be free to move and be one to two inches of the table. Now relax.

Let the pendulum swing as it will until it settles down motionless. Just watch it and think about it coming to rest.

When it is just hanging down, motionless, think of the word “YES.”

Ask yourself some questions in which the answer is a resounding “YES.”

Am I alive?

Am I smart?

You get the idea. Now the pendulum will eventually begin to move

. Keep working the “YES” in your mind.

Speak it out loud if you like. What you are seeking is to get a consistent result in the movement of the pendulum when you mean “YES” Now this can take some folks a few minutes and it can take a day or two for others.

Be patient. If you need a couple of sessions to get it right, take them.

Next, we need to know how the pendulum react when we think of “NO”. Follow the same approach. But this time think about the word “NO” Ask questions that have “NO” as the answer. Be patient. Eventually the pendulum will move in a consistent manner different than when you though of “YES”

Now this process may take a day or so, and four or five sessions to get down pat. Don’t worry. Once its done, its done forever.

Now you need to practice and gain confidence. When you can get a reliable “Yes” movement in response to questions that you know have “yes” as the right answer, and you can get a reliable “NO” movement to questions that you know are not true, then you are ready to use a pendulum. For most people we have found this takes a few days. Be religious with your practice. There… you are set up to use a pendulum.

How do I use the pendulum?

Now that you are “calibrated” and you know which way the pendulum will move when it is saying “YES” and you know which way it will move when it says “NO” you are ready for the next step. We now need to learn two more ways that the pendulum will answer questions. Sometimes the pendulum will simply not know an answer. So we need to learn how it will tell us that. And, sometimes the pendulum will just not want to answer a question. How does it tell you that?

Well, once you have a reliable “yes” and a reliable “no”, it is time to take the next step in understanding your pendulum. We now need to know when our pendulum is saying “I don’t know”, and when it is saying “I just don’t want to answer right now.”

Ok Let’s go back to the question we were working on awhile ago – “Where are my keys?”

Take you pendulum and hold it the same way as when you were practicing. Now we have a problem. The pendulum only knows two words! YES, and NO. (It can also say “I don’t know” and “I don’t want to answer”, but we will hope that it is being cooperative!)  What  it can’t say is  “you left your keys in the garage, dummy!” It can only answer “YES” and “NO” questions. So, you have to play a game with it.

You must carefully ask a series of questions that when answered “YES” or “NO” will lead you to what you want to know.

So in our example, we might ask “Are my keys in the house?” We should get a movement indicating “NO” We might ask if they are in the yard. We might get a “NO” again. We might ask “Are they in the garage?” Now we should get a “YES” and we can go find them there.

What can I use the pendulum for?

Finding lost items: As in our example, if you want to find where you left something, ask the pendulum a series of questions to narrow down your search. Like, Did I leave them in the house? Did I leave them in the living room?

Finding out how you really feel: This is an important use. For example, Do I want to have children? Do I want to have more than one child? Do I want to have just one boyfriend?

Finding out what you really want: Do I want to take a vacation this summer? Will I have more fun in the mountains or at the beach? Do I want to go to Mexico or Alaska?

Making a choice or decision: Do I want to go to the movies? Do I want really to take French this year?

What kind of pendulum do I need?

You are probably wondering which pendulum would be right for you. The simple answer is to use the one that you feel is right at the time. In other words, make sure it appeals your inner child, your intuition, and your subconscious.

Now the thing is that you will find your intuition will tell you to use different ones at different times. For many people it seems that the mind’s eye is looking for a certain color ray for certain purposes.

For example people will seem to want to use a red or pink crystal when making decisions affecting the heart, like picking a mate, deciding on going on a date, or deciding if someone will be the only boyfriend.

Red crystals contain the red ray of passion, love and courage.

If love is what you’re looking for than wouldn’t it make sense to own a pendulum that amplifies the power of love and compassion?

If you had questions about a decision and you were concerned with safety, you might be drawn to a black crystal. Black crystals have protection energy. Maybe you are just examining your creativity and wonder if you should take up painting. You might well be drawn to a Amethyst.

Our customers have a variety of colors and crystal pendulums and use them as each “feels right” Your mind might be drawn to one particular crystal or you might always be using a different one. We can only advise exploration. Try some and see how they work and how they respond. Do a little more research, practice, and amaze yourself.

A few books that I would suggest include “The Practical Pendulum Book” by D. Jurriaanse, “Pendulum Magic for Beginners” by Richard Webster, “Pendulums and the Light” by Diane Stein, “Power Pendulum Magic” by Roberto Gadini, and the “Pendulum Healing Handbook” by Walter Lubeck.

Good luck 🍀