#i think part of what gets me about the nostalgia of oasis is exactly. the nostalgia. and the deep sadness of knowing things did go on.

[crusherthedoctor]

Can you list anything you unironically like in the games (and cartoons and comics) that you don't like?

I won't bother mentioning music, since that goes without saying and is to be expected for a Sonic game... unless you're Chronicles.

Sonic Adventure 2 (mixed gameplay-wise, annoying story-wise) - While I prefer Sonic's SA1 levels for a number of reasons, I still think his and Shadow's gameplay in SA2 is fun on its own merit. I also don't mind the treasure hunting gameplay returning or how big the levels are this time around, since Knuckles and Rouge are still fast and not '06 levels of slow. It's mainly the gimped radar that creates the unfortunate domino effect of making them a problem.

- Introduced Rouge, one of my favourite characters for how playful she is and how she's a lot more nuanced and intelligent than you'd expect.

- Some genuinely good scenes, like Eggman's trap on the A.R.K and Sonic escaping from the G.U.N. helicopter.

- Had some good ideas going for it, like the Pyramid Base and the Biolizard as a scientific monster instead of an ancient one.

- Despite my thoughts on the backstory itself (or rather, its execution), Shadow has enough depth and subtle qualities and occasional unintended hilarity to stand out from the typical dark rival characters you see in media.

- The Last Scene's music in particular is one of my favourite cutscene tracks in the series.

Sonic Heroes (mixed gameplay-wise, loathed story-wise) - The gameplay is fun when you're not being screwed over by repetitive combat, overly long levels and/or ice physics.

- Boasts some of the most consistently Genesis-worthy environments in the 3D games, up there with SA1's and Colours'.

- The in-game dialogue that isn't the same tutorial drivel repeated ad nauseam can be interesting, funny, etc.

- Reintroduced the Chaotix, which provided me with another character I quite like in the form of Vector.

- Bringing Metal Sonic back in full force and front and center in the plot after a long absence (not counting cameos and the like) is a perfectly fine idea. Just... not like this.

Sonic Battle (decent yet repetitive gameplay, mixed story-wise) - Emerl's arc is compelling, and it earns the emotional weight of having to put him down at the end.

- While some characters are iffy (read: Amy), other characters are extremely well-handled. Shadow is probably the prime example.

- Gamma's belly dance healing animation is fucking hilarious.

- When I was young, and the game was first announced, I was really excited about being able to play as Chaos. This proved to be my downfall when it turned out he was arguably one of the worst characters in the game due to being slower than me during the writing process, but I still recall that excitement fondly.

Shadow the Hedgehog (comedy classic) - The sheer amount of legendary stupidity this game has going for it makes it practically impossible to actually hate. It helps that it's not quite as white-knighted on the same level as '06... usually. You know you're in for a unique experience when you hear a gunshot every time you click something in the menu.

- By extension, Black Doom never gained an unironic fanbase like Mephiles/Scourge/Eggman Nega did, which means I'm a lot more willing to take Doom's dumbass brand of villainy in stride. He even has a unique design... a terrible one that rips off Wizeman granted, but alas, even that is a step-up from Fridge Shadow and Bumblebee Eggman.

- Despite being... well, Shadow the Hedgehog, some of the environments would fit right in with any other Sonic game, like with Circus Park, Lava Shelter, and Digital Circuit. Even the Black Comet levels look pretty cool.

- This game understands amnesia better than IDW does.

Sonic '06 (what do you think?) - The obvious one: Shadow's character was handled pretty well, even if it came at the cost of everyone else being a dummy and being forced to interact with Mephiles.

- Like SA2, there are some good moments, like the Last Story ending sequence with Sonic and Elise.

- In the greatest form of irony ever, I like Solaris as a concept and design(s), and its backstory has potential to serve as a parallel with Chaos without being a complete ripoff. Iblis sucks, Mephiles sucks, but I'm fine with Solaris.

- Introduced legendary characters like Sonic Man, Pele the Beloved Dog, Hatsun the Pigeon, and Pacha from The Emperor's New Groove.

The Rivals duology (apathetic outside of Nega-related grumbling) - There were some cool zone ideas in both games that were sadly let down by the restrictive and limiting gameplay. I particularly like Colosseum Highway for thus far being the only full-on Roman level in the series instead of merely having a couple minor hints of Roman, and Meteor Base for the unique scenario of the space station being built into an asteroid. These level concepts and others deserve a second chance IMO. (At least Frontier Canyon got a second chance in the form of Mirage Saloon, amirite?)

- Ifrit has a better design than Iblis. Not saying it's amazing, but the Firebird motif it has going on is a lot more interesting for a fire monster than the Not-Chaos schtick they had with Iblis.

Sonic and the Secret Rings (a very frustrating gaming experience) - Erazor Djinn, A.K.A. Qui-Gon Djinn, A.K.A. Dr. N. Djinn, A.K.A. I'll Take It On The Djinn, A.K.A. Not From The Hairs On My Djinny Djinn Djinn, is one of the best villains not associated with Eggman in the series. He's a Mephiles-type character done right, and there's actual weight and reason to his actions, however sinister or petty.

- I don't have strong opinions either way on Shahra as a character, but the Sonic/Shahra friendship is sweet and well-handled.

- The ending is one of Sonic's greatest moments. The sheer contrast between how ruthlessly he deals with Erazor and how comforting he is towards Shahra speaks volumes... Still gonna make fun of the mountain of handkerchiefs though. (Before anyone lectures me, I understand the significance of it and can even appreciate it from that angle... doesn't mean I'm not allowed to poke fun at it. :P)

- Another game with some redeeming environments. I love the aesthetic of Night Palace, and Sand Oasis looks gorgeous too.

Sonic Chronicles (my personal least favourite game in the series) - Uh...

- Um...

- Er...

- I like Shade's design?

Sonic Unleashed (overrated game and story IMO) - The obvious two: the opening sequence and the Egg Dragoon fight deserve all the praise they get.

- Seeing Eggmanland come to life was an impressive moment to be sure. While part of me does feel it didn't quite measure up to what I had in mind (ironically, the Interstellar Amusement Park ended up being closer to what I had in mind), it still looks badass and works well for what it is. I also don't mind the idea of it being a one-level gauntlet... key word being idea.

- Obviously, the game looks great. Not a fan of the real world focus (real world inspiration is fine, but copy-pasting the real world and shoving loops in it is just unimaginative), but it can't be denied that the environments look good.

- This game pulled off dialogue options a lot better than Chronicles did, since they didn't rely on making Sonic OoC.

Sonic and the Black Knight (just kind of boring all around) - Despite my gripes with the story (Merlina wasn't nearly as fleshed out as her unique anti-villain status deserved, which ends up severely undermining the ambition of the plot in more ways than one, and the other characters go from being useless yes men for King Arthur to being useless yes men for Sonic), I will admit it provides interesting insight into Sonic's character.

- Like '06 and Secret Rings, the ending is very nice... well, aside from Amy being an unreasonable bitch ala Sonic X at the very end.

Sonic the Hedgehog 4 (apathetic) - The admittedly few new concepts sprinkled within had promise. They may not have been as fleshed out as they could have been, but level concepts like Sylvania Castle and White Park, bosses like Egg Serpentleaf and the Egg Heart, and story beats like the Death Egg mk.II being powered by Little Planet, all could have been brilliant had they been better executed.

SatAM (apathetic outside of SatAM Robotnik-related grumbling) - I'm not a fan of the environments on the whole due to them looking too bland or samey, but there are some exceptions that look pleasant or interesting, like the Void.

Sonic Underground (apathetic) - The character designs make me feel better about myself.

- Does "large quantities of unintentional meme material" count as a positive?

Sonic X (mostly apathetic outside of Eggman's handling) - Helen was a better human character and audience surrogate in her one focus episode than Chris was throughout his entire runtime.

- Actually, most of the human characters not named Chris were legitimately likable. Including everyone in Chris' own family not named Chris. Hilarious.

- Despite arguably having the most Chris in it, I actually don't mind the first season that much, partly due to slight nostalgia from seeing it on TV when it was new, but mostly because Eggman actually acted like a villain for the most part, and certain other characters weren't quite as flanderized yet. It's season 2 and onwards where things started going off the rails IMO. (Incidentally, Helen's episode was part of season 1...)

The Boom franchise (apathetic) - Along with Chronicles, the games provide yet more proof that just because someone isn't SEGA/Sonic Team, that doesn't mean they're automatically more qualified to handle the series.

- The show had some good episodes here and there, and Tails' characterization was probably the most consistently on-point out of the cast.

- Despite not exactly being favourite portrayals for either character, even I'll admit that many of Knuckles and Eggman's lines in the show on their own were genuinely funny.

Archie Sonic (pre-reboot is mostly terrible, post-reboot is mostly... bland) - Whenever I doubt myself as a writer, I think back to Ken Penders, and suddenly I'm filled with a lot more confidence.

Sonic the Comic (apathetic) - Fleetway isn't a comic I tend to recall much of aside from how much of a loathesome cunt Sonic is, but IIRC, Robotnik's portrayal is pretty good. Different, but good.

IDW Sonic (stop pissing me off, comic) - Putting their handling aside (and being too obviously "inspired" by MGS in the latter's case), Tangle and Whisper are good characters IMO.

- Same goes for Starline, before he was killed off-screen and replaced with Toothpaste Snively.

- Execution aside (noticing a pattern?), the zombot virus was a fine concept on its own and an interesting new scheme for Eggman.

- I get to remind myself that I've never drawn scat edits and posted them publicly on Twitter.

[aangs-surrounding-love]

My take on Aang’s trauma:

Alrighty everyone this is going to be a long one. I’ll do my best to only include the more important parts of Aang’s actions that I think reflect his trauma. Also, moments that I think reflect his trauma. Actually, I don’t really know if I can directly categorize this post but let’s just say this is very Aang-centric and somewhat of Aang-defense. Aang-protection? Feh-I’ll start.

In season 1 episode 1: The Boy In The Iceberg we see that Aang is briefly told that no one has seen an airbender in 100 years. We can see a tiny bit of shock but what happens next is that the topic is dissed and they move on. Aang doesn’t yet know what happened. But that small little face of shock and confusion always gets me.

Season 1 Episode 2: When Aang finds out he was stuck for 100 years, a war broke out, and his people were very likely killed, he looks on the bright side and looks to Katara saying, ��I did get to meet you.”

When they find out he’s the avatar everyone is like, no wayyyy. He still offers himself up to protect the tribe.

Why didn’t he tell them? “Because I never wanted to be” is 100% a valid answer. He was scared. He thought that they’d push him away as his friends did at the temple. Or maybe send him away like the leaders wanted to do to him. (Although Sokka did banish Aang, it wasn’t because of his title and because he put the tribe at risk so it doesn’t exactly count)

Season 1 episode 3: The Southern Airtemple. “We’re home, buddy. We’re home.” Aang says to Appa. Something about this seems like a nostalgic moment. He left on bad terms and now he’s back seeing it 100 years later, hopeful.

He looks for all the old things that made him happy. Air ball, Gyatso’s statue, searching for people. (The little fruit pie flash-back)

He goes to the statue room and looks for answers. He meets Momo. However, when Aang and Sokka start chasing Momo I see Aang tearing up when he’s jumping down the cliffside. My take on this isn’t because he’s falling down at such a velocity that he starts crying, my take is that it’s because it’s his first chance to reveal that there’s hope that some of the Air Nation survived and that Aang isn’t alone.

Aang discovers Gyatso’s skeleton and goes into the Avatar State. His major hopes have been diminished.

He says to Momo, “You, me, and Appa, we’re that’s left of this place now. We have to stick together.” It’s so sad. They’re the only parts of the Air Nation that are alive. They don’t have anything left of the air nation and that’s why they need each other; they need to stay together.

At the closing of the episode, we see Aang and Momo flying away from the temple on Appa. Aang's face is so somber like he’s watching his happy memories diminish. Like the nostalgia being wiped away directly in front of him.

Season 1 Episode 5: The King of Omashu. This one is more of fine detail, but to me, it’s still very important and needs to be mentioned more. At the end of the episode, when Aang figures out it was Bumi, his old friend, you can see little tears welling in his eyelids. My understanding makes me think that Aang was tearing up because he sees someone who isn’t dead. The tears are of relief because to Aang, maybe not everyone is gone. His childhood isn’t over, Aang can still be a kid. Because the reason Gyatso was protecting Aang was that he wanted Aang to have a childhood. Although it was stripped away, this gave Aang another chance to have fun intentionally. Another sign that his childhood isn’t completely over.

Season 1 episodes 7-8: Winter Solstice Part 1: The Spirit World and Winter Solstice Part 2: Avatar Roku. In the first part, we meet a village. Aang tries to help them by saying, “I have to try” my legendary overthinking and analysis makes me believe that Aang truly wants to help these people already, but also that as the Avatar he wants to make up for the lost time he was stuck. He feels the burden he afflicted on the world.

His ability to relate to Hei Bai. Aang felt terrible about the woods and trees that were burnt down. It’s the empathy the made Hei Bai Aang’s friend. The compassion that Aang brings is truly amazing.

Part 2: Avatar Roku. Okay, so he wants to go alone because he doesn’t want Katara or Sokka to get hurt. My take on this is not only are they friends, but he also doesn’t want another one of his actions affecting the casualties of the war.

Season 1 Episode 12: The Storm. This episode is great. We get his backstory. We see why he ran away. We see what causes him to get stuck. And we get to see him upset. We see his guilt. “My people needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.” Followed by, “the WORLD needed me, and I wasn’t there to help.”

“How could they do that to me? They wanted to take away everything I knew and everyone I’ve ever loved!” This quote digs deep. Not only is Aang angry, but this takes a play on how he reacts to people and how he responds to people. He wanted to be a normal kid. (I’ll bring this back later)

Earlier in this episode, there’s this fisherman who was blaming him, so I’m in the cave Aang says, “the fisherman was right. I DID turn my back on the world.” He knows what he did was wrong and he saw the consequences. He ran away, and now that he faced the consequences, he actively wants to change and become better. He’s learning from his actions.

Season 1 episode 13: The Blue Spirt. Admiral Zhao says to Aang, “tell me, how does it feel to be the only airbender left? Do you miss your people?” Not only is this said in such a vile, evil way, we see Aang’s face which changes from being angry and upset with Adm. Zhao, we see that it changes to ashamed and guilt ridden. Actually, it kinda looks like Aang wanted to talk back to him, but he needed a moment. He needed that moment to take in what Zhao said.

Aang finds out that the Blue Spirit (the person wearing the mask) is Zuko. Aang was going to leave him there, to get caught by Admiral Zhao, but Aang instead takes him to safety. And may I mention that Aang made him a little leaf bed? Anyway, he stays with Zuko until he wakes up. Aang was talking about they could be friends and that one of his best friends was from the Fire Nation. I think not leaving Zuko behind shows both how Aang does his best to no longer leave people behind and to try to bring the best out of Zuko.

Season 1 episode 15: Bato of the Water Tribe. Aang takes the map to guide them to Hakoda for himself out of fear that Sokka and Katara would leave him. Though it was a bad decision, the thing is he didn’t think he could handle being alone. He was alone enough as it is. His people were gone and his friends (excluding Bumi) were gone or dead as well. So having to trek to the NWT alone would be a continuous reflection of his actions and would likely send him down on a more hateful path.

Season 1 Episode 16: The Deserter. Aang wants to learn the elements as fast as possible, even if it means doing it irregularly. He also is unsure whether he’ll ever get the chance to learn firebending again after he learns the other elements. So he starts to learn firebending from Jeong Jeong. He wants to make up for lost time which is another reason for this decision.

He hurts Katara and becomes afraid of handling fire and vows to be more careful with it in the future. (I will bring this up again later)

Season 1 Episode 17: The Northern Air temple. Aang sees that the northern Air temple became inhabited by people and they built pipes and other things that ruined the temple. They destroyed the temple and there wasn’t anything left that remained the same. When he saw the wrecking ball machine, he rightfully knocked it away for “destroying something sacred”. It was the last place that remained unaffected by modernization and industrialization then it was knocked over, right in front of him. So my take on this is a question within itself: if you loved something that was deeply close to you like a relic, something important, something that’s the only thing left of your family, got destroyed right in front of you, how would you feel? The answer would probably be pretty freaking upset.

Season 1 episode 19: The Siege of the North: part 1. Starting with part 1, the fire nation comes to the northern water tribe and the fight begins. Before the fight begins, Aang says, “I wasn’t there when the Fire Nation attacked my people. I’m going to make a difference this time.” He wants what’s best for the world, he’s going to stay. He isn’t going to run this time, he’s going to fight of the sake for the world, for the sake of the future. Still, the look on his face when he says that, it’s guilt plastered all over. The guilt is also shown with a determination to make his difference.

Aang flies out on Appa to try to prevent further damage by taking out a few ships. He returns around sunset, exhausted and somewhat defeated. He says, “I’m just one kid” then buries his face in between his legs. He’s right, he is one kid. The avatar, yes, a kid, yes. I have a feeling he’d be thinking about how massively overwhelmed his people were when the Fire Nation attacked. With the power of 500 suns, it would be disastrous. And with this, there are hundreds of ships in that fleet with hundreds more men, ready to fight.

Season 1 episode 20: The Siege of the North: Part 2. Aang returns to the spirit oasis and enters the avatar state saying, “No... It’s not over” he won’t give up on the tribe. He won’t let the Fire Nation win. Still, he isn’t running away, he chose to return to the Spirit Oasis to try to save the spirits.

Season 2 episode 1: The Avatar State. Aang’s told by General Fung that he could defeat the Fire Nation using the Avatar State. Gen. Fung manipulates Aang using Aang’s own guilt and faults to get him to try to train to turn the Avatar State on. Gen. Fung shows Aang the wounded to get him to join.

Initially, Aang doesn’t join. But he changes his mind upon further debate. During the training (well after a day of training) Katara and Aang have a long conversation about it. First, Katara tries to convince him to stop training to turn the Avatar State on but Aang refuses. Katara says, “I don’t understand.” Aang replied, “No, you don’t. Every day, more and more people die. I’m already 100 years late.” Aang’s own guilt is driving him to pursue helping everyone. Even though it wasn’t the right decision, he realizes that he needs to try everything he can to save the world.

Season 2 Episode 3: Return to Omashu. I already did my take away on Aang’s trauma for “The King of Omashu” but this will make my point stronger. Anyway, to the point. Aang goes to Bumi to learn earthbending. His old friend, the mad genius. When he arrives at Omashu, Katara, Sokka, and Aang see that Omashu was conquered by the Fire Nation. Despite Sokka trying to convince Aang to turn around, saying that there are other teachers, Aang shuts both of them down. He wants to rescue Bumi. Not only because he’s his best friend, but I think it’s the added reasons of impending guilt that he receives from leaving the Air Nation to fight on their own, and always wanting to protect his friends.

Season 2 episode 10: The Library. By goodness. Beginning of the episode. Aang is “making an orchestra”. My little headcanon is that all airbenders play an instrument and Aang chose the flute. Anyway, in this headcanon, the air nomads had a band that Aang loved to participate in. Just a little reminder he can’t be in a band surrounded by his people and wanted to make an orchestra on his own to feel happy like he would if he was around the Air Nomads.

Professor Zei calling Aang a relic. Just... terrible. That’s what he, his people, his culture surmounted to. Only a relic. An episode in time.

“We had no choice. Please. We’re desperate to protect the people we love.” This is what Aang says to Wan Shi Tong after the spirit’s anger about using the library to win a war. Aang is trying to protect the world and whoever he has left in the world. His people died. His friends before the war excluding Bumi are dead. Now all he has are his current friends, Appa, and Momo. That’s all he has left and he’s going to do anything to protect them.

Appa gets taken away. That’s it. They exit the sinking library. “Where’s Appa?” Aang asks Toph in confusion. As Toph shakes her head, humming, “mmm-mmm” Aang’s face looks so scared, so hurt. This is his best friend, his life partner to the death. His closest friend, even before the war. They have an inseparable bond and then Appa’s taken away from Aang. Aang doesn’t know if he’s alright, one of the three surviving members of the Air Nomads.

Season 2 Episode 11: The Desert. Aang is so hurt that he lashes out at Toph. His best friend and life partner were stripped from him. I could feel the pain and anger in his voice.

“I’m going to find Appa.” Aang flies away to search on his glider. Again, one of the last surviving members of the Air Nomads is gone. I will elaborate in others.

“APPA!” He calls out. He begins to tear up but sucks it down. “No... No!!!” He creates the gush of air at the ground, making the sand rise up. The complete anger is apparent.

“I’m sorry, OK? it’s a desert cloud. I did all I could.” Aang is left angry and lashes out at everyone. Aang blames Toph at first but it goes deeper than that. If Aang hadn’t gone inside, Appa could’ve been with him. Everyone could’ve gotten out of the desert.

Momo gets carried by a Buzzard-wasp. “I’m not losing anyone else out here.” If Momo was taken away that makes Aang the only one left. He’d be completely alone. And he would only have himself to blame. If he hadn’t run away... if he hadn’t gone inside the library... if he hadn’t chased and knocked the buzzard wasp down. But luckily, Aang gets Momo back.

Aang finds out that the sand benders he encountered were the ones who stole Appa. He acts appropriately and questions them. He wrecks a sand sailer. He wants his bison back. He needs Appa back.

“You muzzled Appa?!” He enters the avatar state in rage. Appa was much more than a pet. Appa is Aang’s best friend. His life partner. His link to his people. Hearing that Appa was treated like an uncontrollable, rabid animal isn’t alright with him. His people were already killed. So hearing that Appa could be in the same situation or worse hurts.

“I traded him with some merchants.” Trading him. Like property. Appa is living, breathing, he isn’t property. Then Appa was set to be sold. Sold.

Season 2, Episode 12: The Serpents Pass. Aang is trying to remain emotionless after Appa was taken away. He doesn’t want to grieve. He doesn’t want to feel. He wants the war to end and be done. He wants Appa back of course, but I think Aang feels that his emotions are going to prevent progress. So when Suki mentions how Appa wasn’t there, Aang was the first to look away. It hurts him immensely.

“Are you doing okay?” Suki asks Aang. At first, Aang looks to Suki and then to Katara, Sokka, and Toph. The view switches back to Aang where he says harshly, “I’m doing fine. Would everybody stop worrying about me?” Aang doesn’t want to be reminded further that -in his mind- that he failed.

“And now it’s like you don’t care about him at all,” Katara states. Katara continues about how worried she is for Aang and offers him a hug. He steadily rejects, “thanks for your concern, Katara.” He walks away. He is so hurt that he doesn’t want to feel. He doesn’t want to be human.

“But you’ve made me feel hopeful again.” It doesn’t mean he’ll stop himself from blaming himself, but it means Aang will return to being hopeful and optimistic.

Season 2 episode 13: The Drill. It’s towards the end where Aang gives the final blow, it’s not really about the moment but the music. Aang is determined to save the world. Even though he’s going through in an incredibly tough time, he’s not going to give up and he’s going to save Ba Sing Se. The music displays this perfectly also while the French Horns add Aang’s musical theme in the background.

Season two, episode 15. The tales of Ba Sing Se. Aang creates a Zoo after seeing all the caged up animals. I think that Aang did this because it reminded Aang what predicament Appa could be in. All chained up. Of course, above anything else, Aang goes to the Zoo in the first place to look for Appa. But I think Aang wanted to release the animals into a better space because Aang wanted to help them, knowing at least Appa would want a sense of freedom. Also because Aang could see that the animals were unhappy.

Season 2 episode 16: Appa’s Lost Days. Sorry but Aang sleeps with the bison whistle right next to him. Meaning, the first thing he wakes up to is the whistle. So right away, Aang is reminded that he needs to get Appa back no matter what.

Season 2 Episode 17: Lake Logoai. Weakly, Jet says, “I’m sorry, Aang.” Aang replies, “Don’t be.” Aang is already worried. But after it's inferred that Aang was going to die by Toph’s, “He’s lying,” is another reminder to Aang that having relations to other people puts them in danger. And that Aang might think that he is another cause for Jet’s death. It’s a big rolel, accounting for every death and injury at Aang’s stake.

Reuniting was Appa, finally. The tears, the relief. Appa will forever be his best friend. To death. A weight was definitely released from his chest.

Season 2 episode 18: The Earth King. Aang wants to tell the Earth King the truth. With Appa back, it’s hoped that things could turn out well for Aang. And a chance the war could end sooner. For the fatalities to stop.

Season 2 episode 19: The guru. “What do you blame yourself for?” Aang responds, “I ran away. I hurt all those people.” He holds himself accountable that he wasn’t there. That he was the cause of injury. Even though he forgave himself doesn’t mean he thinks about it. That’s the thing about guilt. It reoccurs no matter if you try to bury it. Or even forgive yourself, it still shows up.

“Lay all your grief out in front of you.” Aang pictures the whole Air Nation with Gyatso in the front. He’s trying to save the word to not leave their names, their culture in vain. He lost everyone.

Season 2 episode 20: the Crossroads of Destiny. He had to let her go. There were too many people against him. He had no other choice than to let go and enter the avatar state. He had to give up another part of himself to be what the world needed. He needed to save Katara, not letting any others fall to his fault.

Season 3 Episode 1: The Awakening. “Everyone thinks you’re dead. Isn’t that great?!” To Aang, it isn’t. In fact, that’s probably the worst thing Sokka could’ve said. To Aang, the world thinks he failed... again. At first, he vanished for 100 years, thought dead. Then he returned to become dead again. Now, the Fire Nation has practically won because he wasn’t able to keep Ba Sing Se afloat.

Aang wants to intervene even though he’s barely able to walk. He wants to handle it himself. He’s holding himself accountable. Maybe even thinking, it’s the least I can do if I’ve already failed to the world twice. He keeps trying to help, having Sokka hold him back.

“I don’t want you or anyone else risking your lives for my mistakes.” This means Aang really blames himself for everyone. Holding everything on his shoulders. Thinking, “it’s all my fault.”

Aang does the thing he knows how to, he flies away on his glider. Hurt and bombarded with a storm. When he’s found by his friends, he finds his glider which we knew was very important to him. Air Nomads weren’t very material, but to a person with a smidge of their culture left, it would’ve meant much more. So, seeing it in shambles and them actively choosing to burn it is heartbreaking.

Season 3 episode 2: The Headband. The fact that the children of the Fire Nation and everyone who was taught after the war started thought the Air Nomads had a military, forcing the Fire Nation to attack them. It’s screwy. It was wrong, but knowing that his culture was thought of as evil and bloodthirsty had to have been off-putting. I mean, the Air Nomads were pacifist!

Aang was stripped of his childhood, so going to a school gave him a new chance without the burden of being the avatar. For example, earlier I mentioned Aang was excluded from playing with the air-scooter, but in the Fire Nation school, Aang as Kuzon was invited to play Hide and Explode. A chance to have fun without his responsibility to defeat the Fire Lord. A chance to be a normal kid.

“You taught them to be free” Aang did his best to help the kids. It wasn’t defeating the Fire Lord but it gave them control. A mind. They were brainwashed by the school and their country! So achieving a sense of freedom by self expression is something more than I can display in words.

Season 3 Episode 9: Nightmares and Daydreams. Although it’s a fun episode, Aang is in his last moments to train before the invasion. He has to be ready. He’s afraid that he’ll let the world down a third time. So, he creates false scenarios and plays them out to prepare. In this process, he gets really sleep deprived because of his stress. He’s rightfully worried. The state of the world continues to burden him.

Season 3 episode 10: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 1: The Invasion. Aang comes to Sokka’s side when Sokka begins to worry about his moment of truth. Aang says, “I already failed to world once at Ba Sing Se. I won’t let myself fail again.” Again, it’s all up to him. He needs to save the world, he needs to redeem himself.

Season 3 episode 11: The Day Of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse. Aang finds that it was all a trap. He failed again. On Appa as the youngest of the group loads on Appa, Aang is crying. He told himself that he wouldn’t fail. That he needed to win. He needed this victory to find out that his plan was ruined.

Season 3 Episode 12: The Western Air Temple. Aang accepts Zuko into the group. He does this not only because he needs a teacher but realizes that in his past attempt to learn Firebending, he hurt Katara. And that Jeong Jeong wasn’t the right master, but knowing that Zuko changed made Aang accept Zuko into the group and teach him.

Season 3 Episode 13: The Firebending Masters. Earlier, I mentioned that Aang vowed to be more careful with Fire after burning Katara. Showing why his flame was timid and weak. He was afraid for it to become out of control and hurt someone.

Season 3, episode 16: The Southern Raiders. “You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage.” He’s empathizing with Katara. We can’t forget that Aang is a survivor of genocide. He’s been through so much and wants to help Katara make the right decision. Not making it for her, but guiding her through the decision that would make her satisfied with herself and Yon Rha’s outcome. One she could live with. He’s using his own experience to help her.

Season 3, Episode 18, Sozin’s Comet, Part 1: The Phoenix King. Aang wants to find an alternate solution rather than kill Firelord Ozai. He wants to stick to his principles. The ones that have been with him since forever. It’s not an easy decision. Maybe not only because of honoring the monks and their teaching but because the war had already created enough bloodshed.

Everyone is quick to assume Aang ran away. Although Aang is called to the Lion Turtles back. I think it was mostly unknowingly because he was like half asleep.

Season 3, Episode 19, Sozin’s Comet, Part 2: Old Masters. Aang looks to the past Avatars for their guidance. They’re the ones who might give him an alternate solution. In my opinion, they were all like, make whatever choice is right for you and the world. Don’t forget the world. Ultimately, to Aang, there were no other options, leaving him with the only option but to take Ozai’s life.

He meets the great look turtle. Aang respectfully asks him for an answer or an option. Once again, Aang was given the knowledge that he could take away whatever he received from the wisdom.

Season 3, Episode 20: Sozin’s Comet: Part 3: Into The Inferno. Ozai degrades Aang. Says, “you’re weak. Just like the rest of your people. They did not deserve to exist in this world, in my world! Prepare to join them.” So Aang has been told he’s weak and he is in no way weak. I will elaborate later.

Season 3, Episode 21: Sozin’s Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang. Aang unblocks the avatar state and pins Ozai down. Just as Aang was going to kill him, he stops. He stops himself from going against his principles. Ozai continues to degrade him. “You are still weak.” Aang directs Ozai’s fire blast away using the Lion Turtle’s wisdom, Aang pins Ozai down and energy bends. With this, Aang discovers this non-fatal solution by giving Ozai justice and taking his bending away. Ozai can no longer intimidate and oppress anyone anymore.

“Please the real hero is the avatar.” That’s it. Aang is the hero. Of course, he had his friends to help him, but every single one of Aang’s mistakes and choices led to this. Led to the world being saved. So, for the first time in a while, Aang can come out of hiding, proud to be in this Air Nomad robes without concealing his identity.

I think I’m exaggerating about the tiniest details, but then again, I’m putting myself in Aang’s shoes, and that’s how I’d feel and how I interpret Aang’s actions/reactions. Also, I know I missed a few points, but I tried.

Big takeaways:

When Aang is told his people have been wiped out AND that he’s been gone for 100 years, for him, it has only been a few days for him. He left and a day later he wakes up and it’s been 100 years. That’s incredibly off-putting and scary. One day and his whole world shifted.

Aang was given very VERY little time to grieve as he had to save the world and learn the elements right away. When we do see it, his grief, he tries to let it all out at once rather than have it seep out little by little.

Aang is 12! He is a child and he saved the world. He has real emotions and was confused from time to time. He was a little immature at first but developed immensely.

Aang makes mistakes. But most importantly is that he learns from them and uses them to decide what's best for him and how to help others.

He looked for the light in dark situations.

Aang is the beacon of hope but even he was unhopeful and detached. He went to nightmares and back despite the worst.

Despite Ozai’s bashing and false claims, Aang is not weak and never has been. Aang went through the worst. He lost his family, his friends, and at one point, his best friend. He died. He was given an almost impossible task. Yet, he completed this task. He saved the world. Yes, he made mistakes but those mistakes shaped Aang into who he became. And how he was able to save the world. And Ozai was incredibly wrong. Aang defeated him and found his alternative. It wasn’t weak. It was strength. As Katara said in The Southern Raiders, “I don’t know if I was too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” In Aang’s case, he found his alternative that honored his teachings, his principles, his beliefs all while doing what was best for the world. That isn’t weak. It’s strong. Adding on, to come back from death isn’t weak. To return to action after running away isn’t weak. To face danger? To help others? To fight on the losing side for what is right? No, it’s not weak at all.

The music is fantastic and I think it reflects Aang amazingly. This doesn’t really fit into what I was talking about but the music fits the show.

Aang deserves so much love. I'll say it again, he's been through so much. Much more than what I could handle or almost anyone else. He is a traumatized child but even through the rough patches became an inspiration. To me, I think he’s sometimes overlooked and pushed aside so this is just some of my headcanons and takeaways.

Another thing, I’m not blaming Aang for anything. When I mention “it was his fault” I mean by he was blaming himself. The Air Nation’s genocide is not his fault. I mean that he blames himself for not helping or staying, for running away. 

Lastly, I don't own Avatar: The Last Airbender or any of their characters. They belong to their rightful creators and writers. Also, this is my analysis and a few of my takes on Aang’s trauma. I'm not trying to project my feelings on anyone. I'm just saying what I think.

If you made it this far thanks for reading my post!

[lokislytherin]

euphoria // vampire!jungkook

pairing: vampire!jeon jeongguk x human!reader

summary: you’re scared of vampires - until one saves your life one night.

word count: 1988 + 1808 + 2373 + 1798 + 1046 + 2113 + 1646 + 1569 +

chapters: prologue / chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / epilogue

a/n: tag yourself i’m jin ( @jungkooksbish​ when things have changed since you’ve last read this)

When you walk out of the bathroom, it's with a clean body and a clear head, and you feel much lighter because of it (you've lost blood, but whether you've lost any weight is still debatable).  Seokjin is still knocked out on the couch, but Jeongguk, however, is nowhere to be seen.

Worry sparks in your heart.  Where could he possibly be?

And then you see it - there's a rather large lump under your blanket.  You laugh softly when you gently lift the covers to find your favorite vampire, asleep and snuggled against your pillow.  At least you assume he's asleep - he's got his eyes closed, but like he told you before, he doesn't actually need any sleep.  

He deserves a rest - he and Jin both do, after tirelessly taking care of an unconscious you for the past few days.  You sit down next to him, careful not to wake him up.  In sleep, he looks so young, so innocent.  He's drooling all over your pillow too.

But that's alright - the sight of this peaceful Jeongguk makes your heart beat a little faster, and you feel all warm inside.  You really are in love with him, aren't you? Impulsively, you lean down and kiss his forehead.

Jeongguk's eyes snap open, but you hover over him, shamelessly ignoring the fierce blush lighting your cheeks.  He smiles mischievously.  "Y/N, have you been watching me sleep?" The sound of your heartbeat accelerating is more than enough of an answer for him.  "Next time, you could be a little more subtle when you pull an Edward Cullen, yeah?"

You laugh.  "Does that make you Bella?"

He snorts, but the smile stays on his face.  "I don't like Twilight, but if it makes you happy then I'll do it."

"You make me happy," you declare, "even if Twilight sucks."

Jeongguk nods, expression serious, but twinkle in his eyes betray the whole act.  "That was so cheesy, but I'll take it.  I'll take everything you have to give me, and I'll give you back twice as much."

You coo at him.  "You're so cute, Gukkie." He pouts.  "I'm older than you, Y/N.  You can't call em cute." You pat his head fondly.  "Whatever you say, babe."

Jeongguk sits up.  "Actually, uh," the vampire says, fidgeting nervously.  "can I kiss you now?"

You nod.  "Thought you'd never ask."

He beams.  "Good!"

You squeal as he pulls the covers over you, then his lips are on yours, soft but firm and better than anything you've ever dreamed of.  His mouth slots perfectly against yours, bodies melding together like he's a part of you that you've been missing your whole life but never realized.  He kisses you hungrily, like he's a man lost in a desert and you're a life-saving oasis, real and right there for him to take.  It's an entirely new side of him that you're seeing - or rather, tasting - and so different from the shy Jeongguk who stammers and stumbles over his words whenever you tease him.

You like it, this new side of him.  You'll love anything he has to offer you.

His hands roam your body, exploring every inch of your skin that's available to him, familiarizing himself with every curve and every edge.  You pull away with a whimper of a gasp when one hand slips under your shirt, freezing cold fingers against burning hot skin.

"Guk," you tell him breathlessly, "I need to breathe, remember?" You wonder if he's had any relationships before - his lips are one of the best pairs you've ever had the pleasure of kissing.  Your ex when you were sixteen was a total disaster - the first time you two kissed, he stuck his tongue in your mouth, and it took you less than a week to break up with him.  It took you months to get him to stop contacting you.

"Sorry," the vampire says, not looking sorry at all.  "I guess I got a little carried away." He notices the wrinkle of your nose.  "Sorry if that was bad, I've never kissed anyone before-"

Your eyes widen a little.  You couldn't feel any inexperience from that at all.  "It's not you, I'm just thinking about something else. You're really good at this." He looks good, with kiss-bruised lips and a minor bedhead.  He smells nice, too.  Like Jin's shampoo, you think.

"What are you thinking about?" He still hovers over you, propping himself up with an arm and toying with your hair with the other.

You shudder.  "My ex."

He frowns, eyes flashing possessively.  "Time to change that."

Before you get the chance to take another breath, he's claiming your lips again, pinning you down with his body and caging you against your own bed with his strong arms.  He presses himself against you almost desperately, and you take the chance to return the favor.  You slide a hand under his shirt, only to be greeted with cold skin, and ooooh, a six pack!

His abs are rock-hard, and you're delighted to feel something else rock-hard poking into your thigh.  The vampire shamelessly ignores it, sighing into your mouth when you squeeze his ass with a hand.

Something sharp pricks your lower lip, and your mouth involuntarily opens. You can feel blood on your tongue, and something wet and slippery slides into your mouth.  Of course: only Jeongguk would use his vampire biology to French kiss you.  You don't complain - it doesn't feel gross, but your train of thought disappeared the second he started kissing you anyway.

You're interrupted by a high pitched, drawn out scream.

Jeongguk breaks away, albeit a little reluctantly.

Seokjin is making grabby hands at the door - the witch has his eyes squeezed shut, and he can't see that he's still got a few steps to go before he can reach the door handle.  "Seriously, you guys?" He wails, traumatized.  "I just woke up, and you're making out? I can't even leave, 'cause this is also my apartment! Now I need to find some holy water to bleach my eyes out.  Y/N, you owe me a life's supply of fried chicken.  Get me that new Mario figurine while you're at it!"

He stumbles forward and grabs the door handle.  "Use protection!" And he's gone, the door slamming shut behind him.

Jeongguk grins, completely unabashed.  "Oops."

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet," you tell him.  "Not now, but maybe later."

Jeongguk smiles softly, reverting to 'sweet vampire boy' mode.  "That's alright, Y/N.  We've got plenty of time." He presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before grinning impishly.  "Definitely later." You like the way he says 'we' instead of 'you' or 'I'.  He's a keeper, that one, advises a voice in your head.  He'll be good for you, and you him.

"We've got time," you echo with a smile, "I like the sound of that."

"I think you'd like the sound of something else more." His tone is suggestive.

"Oh? What would that be?"

He grins.  "Me calling you my girlfriend, of course." Your eyes go wide.  "Well, only if you don't mind- do you want to be my girlfriend?"

You laugh.  "Babe, I think you already know the answer to that."

He shrugs.  "I guess we're dating now, lovely girlfriend of mine- hnng!"

This time, you're the one to pull him into a kiss, yanking him down by the front of his shirt.  

This time, it's a slow kiss, but no less passionate.  Kissing Jeongguk is nice, you think as he cuddles you under the covers.  His lips are kiss-bruised, shiny with spit, and he's marked you as his with a smattering of teeth-shaped bruises scattered across your throat.  He holds you like he has the world in his hands.

(When afternoon comes, Jin comes in to check up on you, finally deeming it safe to enter and exit mentally unharmed.  He finds you and Jeongguk curled up under the covers together, wrapped in each other's arms.  

Both of you look happy together - for once, you are asleep of your own free will and not out of sheer exhaustion, and Jeongguk looks exactly the same as he did all those years ago when they were neighbors, only Jeongguk is undead and much paler than he was before.  

It gives him an odd feeling of nostalgia - it reminds him of hot summer afternoons, a younger Jin watching over Taehyung and Jeongguk as they played until they fell asleep cuddled on the couch.  He wonders how Jeongguk would react if he know of Taehyung's current state: it wasn't a shameful secret, per se, but it was one with a heavy burden, one Jin would rather shoulder alone.

When he leaves, the door clicks behind him, a fond smile on his lips.  Even if he never finds the right one for him, he's glad two of his best friends have found safety and comfort in each other.  They're happy, so he'll be happy for them.)

[sleepysnails]

Oh yeah since exactly one follower told me they wanted this to celebrate 50 followers, here’s a long story of me being old and when I say I grew up with mcyt, I mean I grew up with it.

Under the read more because this could get very long.

Oh boy do I start at the start?

I was here for skydoesminecraft. Like not fandom wise but I did watch his videos! I was there for that! Specifically the cops and robbers videos, but I did watch his other stuff too.

Do I even wanna talk about this dark time? Yeah sure why not. I was here for the time of all the Minecraft parodies. All the really famous ones, I was around then. In fact for a brief period of my life I exclusively listened to Minecraft parodies.

*does a little dance* Who remembers stampy cat and ibalistic squid? I do! I watched them forever ago!! How did I go from the not so family friendly skydoesminecraft to family friendly stampy? Idk but it happened.

Ooooo the modded Minecraft reviews! I watched many of these, most notably from Dantdm and PopularMMOs! I already feel old- I remember being in love with the lucky block mod. Sorta related to that but I was super into PopularMMOs lucky block challenges.

Not sure where it fits into all this but I vividly remember watching bajancandian and his friends play bedwars! Also not sure what universe I was living in but I came to the conclusion bajan was bad at Minecraft- (Am I saying I based my opinion on how good he was at bedwars? Yes. Yes I am saying bedwars was my measure of Minecraft skill. It’s not anymore of course) I do remember really really wanting to play bedwars back then. I thought it looked so cool. (What a shocker I’m into tiredtwt now.)

Oh there was also Crazycraft which I watched from Lachlan. I got into him from a video with bajan he did.

Who remembers Cupquake? I do! All the way back to minecraft oasis, I was there for that!!

*shouts* STACYPLAYS AND GRASER10 MINECLASH!!!!! I remember adoring this series so much. I always watched from Stacy’s perspective, what can I say other than I liked her content. She was family friendly for the most part, her motto is “go rescue a dog” and I remember she did a series involving Minecraft and books, which led me to reading those books (Charlotte’s web and the hatchet for example). Ooooo I remember her dogcraft series and the fact she found a cat irl resembling the one she has in dogcraft was the craziest thing to me. Milquetoast had my heart.

From Stacy I found da da da dun... Ldshadowlady! Aka Lizzie! I remember thinking her content was hilarious and very fun!

From Ldshadowlady I found Aphmau! Ah the nostalgia as I recall her Minecraft diaries series. It was such a cool Minecraft role play, I could tell the work that went into it must’ve been insane- what started as a Minecraft world with some mods, one of which involved npcs turned into a full on scripted role play. She hired voice actors for the npcs and eventually the spin off series became its own thing with some ✨animation✨ thrown into the mix. I think this was one of the first times I briefly stepped into the world of fandom and oh boy do I remember the shipping wars-

While I was into Minecraft rp because of Aphmau I breifly got invested in ItsFunneh for her Minecraft rps!

Sometime along the way when I got Minecraft on the Xbox I watched a bunch of tips and redstone stuff on YouTube! I strongly remember a certain ibxtoycat in particular. (And his video on horses, and you can bet I spent a while trying to get the perfect horse)

Then like all things I eventually lost interest in Minecraft. Before I had various falling in and out of it of course but I think this was the longest time yet. I had simply moved on and gotten into other things... but here I am now so it’s not the end of the story.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT IT WASNT TECHNICALLY DREAMS VIDEOS THAT GOT ME BACK INTO MCYT IT WAS A MIX OF ALL THE LOVELY ARTISTS OUT THERE MAKING ANIMATICS OF THE MANHUNTS-

While I had seen his videos recommended to me if I’m being honest I purposely scrolled past them because I thought the thumbnails were lame... SHHHH YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HALF MY PROCESS FOR PICKING YOUTUBE VIDEOS TO WATCH IS “pretty art, I click”

So a bunch of animatics later I finally decided to watch a manhunt and 3 or so manhunts later I decided I liked bbh and hunted down his content.

Getting into Dream... LET TECHNOBLADE’S DUEL ANALYSIS VIDEO SHOW UP IN MY RECOMMENDATIONS AND REMEMBER WHEN I SAID “pretty art, I click”? THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED. Listen I really love the art techno uses for thumbnails okay-

And from there it was a downward spiral.

I thought techno was hilarious so I looked for more content of him which led me to find sbi which led me to the dream smp which I was mildly aware of existing til technoblade joined.

And from the dream smp I got into Tubbo, without getting into Tommy??? Somehow??

Wilbur’s videos started showing up in my recommendations and let me tell you, his thumbnail artist is so great because I would not have watched a single one of his videos without seeing the cute thumbnail art.

Also somewhere amidst me getting back into mcyt I was into spifey’s videos for like 2 days??

I got back into Ldshadowlady cuz she showed up in my recommendations again and I was like “oh I remember you” and from her I got into Scott Smajor. Despite the fact Scott is the MCC organizer I didn’t know of MCC til technoblade... and I got into Scott Smajor before techno.

When Antfrost first showed up on bbh’s stream I was like “HIM! HE GREAT!”

From watching Antfrost’s first stream I got into Awesamdude :)

On my hunt for Technoblade fanart I found fun aus on tumblr which led me to the fanfics. From there while reading a mcyt bnha au fic, I got into Purpled. Strange I know but it wasn’t a romance fic okay. He showed up as a character and I got interested, so I looked him up on YouTube.

While bored I went to look up Grian because of those MCC moments when Techno mentioned him, and Grian said he was rooting for Techno.

One late night at 1am of November 1st, 2020, I found my comfort streamer, LoafingCooper.

And now I just vibe in this fandom.

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Thurs 5 Sept 1/2

“Happy release day everyone, exciting stuff!”

Too right Louis! Kill My Mind is out and it's awesome and the world is all over it, hell yeah. KMM hit the charts high and climbed all day, hitting #2 on iTunes and getting great press, with LTHQ going hard on the global focus.

He did the first of many radio appearances, notably the Indie House Party spot, genuinely the Louis interview of DREAMS, a full hour of real music talk and respect and Louis just relaxing and talking about what he loves with someone knowledgeable and smart who takes him seriously as an artist, I'm... overwhelmed. And Louis playing music for us? Please just give Louis his own radio show I want this content always! He also did an earlier show, played the rom com game, fun stuff but no room to get into it sorry highlights below. The Notebook still isn't a rom com though, where's the comedy? Someone needs to talk to him and Harry about that.

MTV calls KMM "bigger slicker and rockier than anything he's ever done", and talks about his note of intention, Rolling Stone published a write up and tweeted about the song (as does Rob Sheffield, "KMM is the No Control sequel I did know I needed"), iHeart says "think LBD and No Control vibes with an Oasis twist," Euphoria calls the song "a new age Britpop banger that'll shine even brighter in a live setting" and Louis "your new Britpop icon," he got a twitter moment, Power Radio UK is gonna play the song hourly all weekend, and the Comic Relief breakfast footage is finally dropping, teased today and out tomorrow.

Louis says the song is about experimenting when you're young, fun nostalgia, and looking back at being juvenile. He says it can be read as being about a toxic relationship but mostly that it's about going through an experimental phase in your youth and doing things that might not be good for you but are exciting, about "... uh... being naughty" (it's at least in part about drugs like yeah I'm saying it. It is and you know it, fight me, and also who cares, it's not a big deal.) He says, "the next few songs I have coming out represent me as an artist," "this is the most comfortable I've felt musically," "this is the vibe from now on," about the song being loud and in your face, "as promised!" and that he is "proud and excited"- yeah! Us too!!

He thanks the fans more times and in more ways than I can count but yeah bunches of tweets, radio mentions ("they're smart yeah?" *taps head cutely*), re: the fan project of a BILLBOARD IN TIMES SQUARE (can you believe?!) he says, “so fucking incredible,” he did a thank you video, and a final tweet to finish out the day "even if I don’t always see you all I feel your presence and your backing" and signed off by saying fuck fandom factions with his emphasis on how much he loves ALL his fans.

An Arista release about KMM calls TOU “the first single off (Louis') album” and Louis said today that he wouldn't be playing Miss You in Madrid- he said he will play five new songs not counting KMM yiiiikkkes and OMG. He says he will be covering one of the songs he deleted on the radio show keep or delete game! (But not the Arctic Monkeys one so that narrows it down to what like three? My money's on the Libertines) (FYI I hope yall know I'm taking that day off just getting that out there now.) About the 1D ten year anniversary he says, "we should do something for that." And yeah what about those guys? Let's be real, we need a special section for this; he's talking about Harry. He's saying his name and casually talking about communicating with him! Asked about being in touch with the boys- he said he "saw Liam most recently," that he talks to him on the phone, that he hung out with Niall at Glastonbury, in fact he really gets into specifics and details for them both, exactly when and where, and then he says he hasn't seen Harry in "a while" but "I've been in contact with him recently, it's proper nice. Proper nice." Okay okay... by nighttime radio slots we had progressed to chatting about Harry's hair. He's asked about Harry's new haircut looking like his and he says, "I'll be telling him that yeah," and later, "I'll be sending Harry a text about his hair." Listen NBD right ....unless maybe you've been force fed a narrative of them not even being friends anymore for years. So are we seeing an end to that nonsense? HELL YEAH bring it on! A good start, KMM cowriter Jamie Hartman casually dropping the factoid that KMM was recorded at Shangri La, yes, the same studio where Harry was holed up to taking all those shrooms and recording HS2. Louis also named Japan as where he'd most like to go on tour, lol. Not mentioned once today: Eleanor or Freddie. I mean why would you mention your girlfriend during a whole radio segment about rom coms and romance amiright? Mhmm. I'm not saying we've heard the last of them but it definitely wasn't a focus today.

The lyric video exists and is cool and I don't have time for it but it shows him dressed as Liam Gallagher onstage, cute, and tells the story of a couple meeting at a Louis show and in the end smooching by a, uh, lighthouse. Maybe we'll have time for video analysis in full by the weekend? Let's go girls!

Finally, when promo was done for the day he parked himself on twitter to see what was up- he responded to a fan teasing about the Real Madrid shirt- “beaut shirt tho.” It was beautiful, the rainbow especially. He defended his height, ("to be fair he's a tall fucker"), says he liked Florence and the Machine, thanked Rolling Stone and various others and a few other things.

There were also lots of pics look go check a UA or something I'm done for I mean I also left out so much interview stuff and you all saw all this anyway! Whatever! Goodbye! Goodnight to Louis only THANKS FOR THE TUNE

[upfrog]

Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline

Since I’m now properly getting into my 2019 reading list, I thought I might stick some reviews of books I’m reading here. So we’ll see how this goes.

This review is spoiler free.

Ready Player One was an adequate piece of science fiction that felt like it's only real reason to exist was to let the author, Ernest Cline, write a copious number of 80′s references. It brushed against a couple of properly interesting topics, but then seemed to deliberately avoid actually using those topics to make the book itself interesting, or even memorable as an exploration of anything beyond how to write a collection of nerd buzzwords for only mildly nerdy people. I don't regret reading it at all, but I doubt I'll read it again unless someone makes a compelling argument that I missed something.

The year is 2045, and human civilization is well into it’s downward spiral. A massive energy crisis has left much of humanity impoverished, and corporate warlords (or to steal a phrase from Neal Stevenson, “equity lords”) appear to control most of the remaining enclaves of relative prosperity. Whatever is left of the national government, at least in the US, appears to be impotent to help the situation. Wade Watts, our protagonist, is like most people of his time in that he has given up all hope in reality, and instead immerses himself in the exciting and prosperous online land of OASIS,  a virtual reality massively multiplayer online role playing game that most people seem to consider to be the only world worth living in. 

In this digital realm, Wade is a Gunter, a player who has dedicated themselves to solving a massive puzzle posthumously left by the eccentric creator of the game, James Halliday. The first person to solve the puzzle (which consists of finding several keys, and using them to unlock various challenges) is set to receive the entirety of Halliday’s estate, including several hundred billion dollars, and complete control over OASIS. Solving this puzzle requires an obsessive knowledge of Halliday’s interests, which seem to almost exclusively revolve around nerdy 80′s pop culture: video games, cult classic movies, music, sitcoms, the whole nine yards. In their attempt to solve this puzzle, the Gunters become experts on Halliday, his personal life, and every piece of pop culture he ever hinted that he enjoyed. 

All good so far, right? Right! It’s an interesting enough premise, and if you’re into retro video games and trivia, you may really enjoy it’s execution. For my part, 8 years ago I bet I would have loved this book, but nowadays I’m less into all the 80′s culture, so the book didn’t have that crutch to help my opinion of it. This is a shame, because the book needed that crutch.

The first problem is that Wade rarely feels genuinely challenged. Much of his struggle takes place “off screen”, and once it’s brought back on screen, he starts succeeding at almost everything. Set backs are rare, and when they occur, the book never really treats them as having any weight behind them. Part of this can be blamed on the virtual setting; after all, part of the point of a video game is that if you die in the game, you don’t die in real life, which does make the consequences for failure less severe by default. However, I think that the setbacks could still have been meaningful if the author had wanted them to be, which I’m not sure he did. That is of course his prerogative, but the book was left weaker for it.

The second problem, which I consider more serious, is that the book seems to avoid it’s own most interesting parts. Virtual reality is an interesting and increasingly relevant theme, as is the idea of people abandoning reality in favor of a cleaner, happier, more prosperous virtual reality. The book establishes that many in it’s world live their real lives within OASIS, with the physical reality more of an unwelcome chore than anything else. It then fails to follow up on this theme in any meaningful way. The book also touches briefly on the social impacts of being able to decouple the real “you” and the virtual “you”, the latter of which is often more important in the book’s world, but it never goes anywhere with it. Heck, the Gunters are in many ways a budding religious order; had Cline chosen to focus on that idea, I think he could have written some interesting material around the idea of the construction of deities. But this too is not explored. Every theme that could have made the book interesting was briefly mentioned, if it was included at all, and then dropped.

Personally, I didn’t really find Cline’s writing very effective. It didn’t pull me in particularly, and I wasn’t left with any particularly good imagery. That said, I find David Weber’s writing style riveting, so maybe I’m just weird. But while it wasn’t exceptionally effective, I didn’t have any real problems with it, and had some fairly good foreshadowing. Not necessarily subtle, but well executed, and it does a lot to make the world feel real, like something vast that we are only seeing through a small window. So what do we see when we look through that window?

We see 80′s references of all sorts. If that’s your thing, this book will probably be bumped up several notches in your esteem. But once again, it didn’t do anything very conceptually interesting with all of it’s pop culture. The 80′s references could have been replaced with 90′s references, or 00′s references, and had little effect on the story. Just change the names around, and re-write the details of some of the puzzles. Even in-universe, it appears that the only reason that Halliday chose the 1980′s was his own nostalgia. For my part, the 80′s references started to feel pretty tired before I was a quarter of the way through the book, though they never got the point where I found them annoying. 

What was somewhat annoying was the way that Cline discussed his references. Many of the things he wrote into his world are relatively obscure; cult classics on the Atari 2600, box office flops, things that in the modern day have a presence in two main cultural groups: the people who were kids when the reference was first relevant, and nerds who have found themselves smitten with this piece of retro culture, and have adopted it as their own in the modern day. You will note that these two groups are by no means mutually exclusive. But Cline writes his references as if he is trying to put them in terms that people not in either of these groups can easily understand. This is an understandable decision, as he presumably wanted his book to be appealing to people other than nerds, but the result is that some of the book feels at times like it was written by an outsider trying to write about these in-jokes. One minor example is how every creative process that led to the world of OASIS is referred to as being programming. Technically accurate perhaps, but it feels like Cline is afraid that he’ll scare off the normies if he refers to, say, animation, or concept art. Another minor frustration is that OASIS has a fairly typical case of Fictional Video Game Syndrome, where everything in the game is named to make it sound gamer-y to non gamers, with the result that it sounds extremely fake to people who actually play video games. 

Admittedly, minor frustrations with how the book’s references are handled are, well, minor. But when a book feels like it raison dêtre is to have a bunch of pop culture references, it becomes harder to excuse failure in the delivery of these references. But aside from this relatively minor annoyance, the references were handled fairly well. While it is clear that the book mainly exists as a house for these references, they always stay in keeping with the rest of the world. Various classic video games are brought up and discussed in a story-appropriate manner, and they don’t feel shoehorned in.

I realize that I’ve just spent a silly number of words talking about all the things I didn’t like about the book, but at the end of the day I really don’t mind it. I read it, and I enjoyed it while I read it. I feel no need to read it again, or to watch the movie, or read any of Cline’s other works, but the book was certainly not bad. I’d recommend it to anyone who secretly wishes they could have been born in time to experience the 80′s in person, or to readers who are getting their feet wet with science fiction. It may also be good for readers who have trouble getting into most books, but connect readily to the digital world. For others, I wouldn’t steer you away from the book, but I wouldn’t recommend it either, unless you liked the sound of what you just read.

This is not exactly a popular blog, so I’m not really guessing that anyone will read this. In case someone does, feel free to leave any feedback you may have, and if you want to talk about the book, hit me up! 

[atleastputinsomeeffortinuroc]

Rant/Review: Ready Player One --aka-- Just Watch Wrinkle in Time Instead...

I don’t usually hate movies. 

I know that seems backwards considering that this blog is me complaining and ranting incoherently about movies I don’t like, but very few movies leave me seething. Even all of the Detective Conan movies, which are mostly terrible pieces of garbage, I don’t necessarily hate. Red Crimson Letters is a terrible waste of time and energy, but I wasn’t insulted or felt talked down to. It was just a really bad movie I wanted to talk about.

In my life, there have only been three movies who have truly enraged me. “Batman v Superman,” “Joy,” and “War for the Planet of the Apes.” 

Objectively, there are aspects that are genuinely good in all of them and are definitely better than I probably give them credit for...but I doubt it, but they just flare up an anger in me for one reason or another. They’re permanently on my “fuck that movie” list. And now…now there’s another entrant to that prestigious list.

Ready Player One.

My GOD. THIS was the book everyone’s been talking about? THIS is supposed to be the fucking bible of pop culture?! THIS MOVIE?! THE ONE THAT UNIRONICALLY HAS THE PHRASE SPOKEN BY HUMAN VOCAL CHORDS “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER?!!” ARE YOU GUYS--…ok. Ok, I need to calm down. 

There are several, several, SEVERAL parts about this movie that don’t work, and I could go into a lot of the problems, but instead I’m going to try to talk about three aspects of the film. And for the sake of me not swearing up and down, we’re not going to talk about that godawful dialogue. Just know that it sucks.)

1) The ham-fisted arc

2) The protagonist and his trophy waifu

3) References over content

There are spoilers ahead, and I’m going to write this with the assumption that you’ve already seen the movie. If you haven’t, you’ve been warned. Anywho, let’s get started. Put on some “a-ha,” break your nostalgia goggles and join me as we go down this road where I collectively shit over Spielberg’s attempt to adapt a supposed “beloved classic.” (CAN YOU TELL I’M MAD?!)

1)     The arc

Here’s the thing with arcs in narratives, and more specifically films. 

They need to feel earned. 

Your central character has gone through a life-altering change or point of view since the beginning of the film due to the adventures and trials had throughout the film. Good examples include “Mad Max: Fury Road” where Max finally lets others into his life and sees the value in not going through life alone as described by the part where he donates his own blood and tells Furiosa his name. Another good example is actually from the Oscar nominee Spielberg had LITERALLY LAST YEAR, “The Post.” In it, Kay Graham finally put her foot down and shows authority by stepping out of her comfort zone to release the Pentagon Papers—damn what the powers that be say. This is important to any narrative because it shows the flaws of your characters through their insecurities and hesitations to make them human rather than movie characters. Even if you have paragon characters like Superman, Wonder Woman, or Batman, they still have to overcome some kind of personal issue that is keeping them from achieving what they’ve wanted.

Now, if you look over to the main character, you can see that his arc was…what is it that was his arc? 

He’s…he’s the same at the beginning as he was at the end. 

“OH BUT HE HAS A PENTHOUSE AT THE END,” yeah that’s not a change. One could argue that the (even though the catalyst for change has no fucking relation to it) arc is about unplugging and enjoying the real world. The bits at the end with Easter Egg man where he starts going on and on and on about how he missed reality or something, and the VERY BRIEF bits at the beginning where you see people all over the VR systems, one of which is the mother neglecting a fire in the house and one where an Asian man almost commits suicide after losing all of his stuff in the game (it’s played for comedy, so THAT’S also pretty fun, because it’s not like Japanese suicide rates are a serious issue or anything OH WAIT.) So it’s about being close to reality and unplugging. Ok. Coolio.

But here’s the thing, similar to “War for the Planet of the Apes”…YOU HAVEN’T EARNED IT. There are brief moments where it kind of alludes to it (see the middle challenge with ‘oh yes, I should have kissed the girl during the Shining’ and the small bit at the middle where the main two are sitting there and the main dude has ONE HALF-ASSED LINE about how “it’s nice here. It’s slower,”) but that’s IT. It doesn’t actually give you a reason to think that staying in the Oasis and avoiding reality is a BAD thing. Sure you have abusive father obsessed with getting high scores but he’s just one dimensional asshole dad who dies and you don’t give a shit about it one second later after his parental figures are killed. 

There are no real CONSEQUENCES to spending too much time in the Oasis, it’s just because he’s good at the game. And if there are, they sure as hell aren’t focused on in favor of mindless spectacle (which looks REALLY BAD by the way. I know it’s supposed to look fake because video game, but do the main characters have to use the ugliest models in existence?!) As such, the ending and central arc of learning is lost.

So what’s the arc? Well…there is none. Nothing is really learned, nothing is really gained that MATTERS aside from the keys to Willy Wonka’s goddamn chocolate factory. 

Z or Perzival or Wade or generic-white-gamer-boy learns all of fucking NOTHING by the end. (As such, it makes the ending where he says “EVERYONE HAS TO BE OFF ON TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS” come off as BULLshit.)

But no, this is clearly the Spielberg classic. It’s not like Indiana Jones learned anything in the Last Crusade as a character only he totally fucking DID, HE LEARNED TO RESPECT AND LOVE HIS FATHER WHO HE PREVIOUSLY DESPISED AND THE IMPORTANCE OF—sorry. Sorry I’m getting a bit mad again.

Anywho, due to a lack of a real arc, it makes you think that the entire fucking plot was pointless. It was just inevitable that the good guy win because…well he’s the main character. He doesn’t say anything about anything but is instead dumb fluff, which would be fine…but here’s the thing. It also affects the main characters. And it affects them HARD.

2)     Tweedledee and Tweedledumbass

The two main characters have no personality or character due to this lack of an arc.

The main man, Wade, his personality is…what exactly? He’s just generic hero-boy who is obsessed with the 80s. “He’s like a regular Star-Lord!” I hear you say, only he totally fucking isn’t. Starlord has baggage, has character has points and instances that stretch BEYOND just quoting 80’s movie and saying the actual phrase that a screenwriter actually wrote down and didn’t immediately delete that went “FANBOYS ALWAYS KNOW A HATER” NO I AM NOT OVER IT.

...Point is, the references don’t make Star-Lord who he is, it’s the character of Peter Quill himself. Cocky, brash, and in many ways, a child running from his past. 

As for Wade, he’s got nothing. I’ve looked over this sometimes, depending on the writing or the situation, so maybe it wouldn’t bother me so much, but the actor who plays him isn’t doing a good job. I know I don’t talk about acting a lot, but the man…the man is just whining through his lines. He comes off as insufferable with his needless 80’s knowledge that I was genuinely rooting for the one-dimensional villain to kill that fucking brat.

Then we have Artemis or Samantha or Sam or its-the-pixie-cut-rebel-chick.  

There are several scenes that are etched into my brain now (including a FUCKING NUT-SHOT AND A PASSWORD FOR A HUMAN ADULT THAT IS “B055MAN69.” IN A SPIELBERG MOVIE. THE MAN WHO MADE INDIANA JONES AND SCHINDLER’S LIST.), but one of the big ones is the final image of the film in which the main character in his 80’s man-boy cave spins around with his beautiful woman sitting in his lap as they suck face as the line “reality is pretty awesome anyway” or something like that. Aside from the main character not earning that statement as previously stated…fucking let’s look at it for what it is.

The man just won a real-life walking-talking waifu. A trophy wife that he wins at the end of the game.

She’s what probably made me see through the movie the most honestly. She makes this big fucking deal about “oh, but I’m not who you think I am on the outside, I’m not pretty” and then when you go outside to the real world, of course she’s the fucking gorgeous Hollywood white girl—she just has a goddamn birthmark on her eye to be her “blemish.”

“Oh but she’s insecure about it,” I hear you say--I’m sorry, but you mean to tell me NOBODY told her she’s fine and beautiful with the eye-mark BEFORE Wade? You mean to tell me she’s insecure, but not insecure enough to feel the need to buy fucking MAKE-UP!? I’m not saying that she needs it, I’m saying that the character’s central flaw is the WEAKEST FUCKIN FLAW I HAVE EVER SEEN. YOU WANNA CHANGE THE GAME, QUASIMODO THAT SHIT. 

THEN, and this part was just fucking HILARIOUS to me, she mentions about how the ioi company fucking KILLED HER FATHER in a workshop and she has to stop him for revenge…and then it’s totally dropped. Like it’s never mentioned by the end. At all. She chucks a grenade into Mechagodzilla to kill the bossman but fuck me if it ain’t satisfying and adds physically NOTHING to her character.

Her character exists for one purpose. She is the love interest who sets the main character off on his journey. Nothing more. And I say that, because SHE’S THE CATALYST FOR HIM FINDING THE FIRST KEY. She tells him something that reminds him of something that solves the puzzle. And what’s more, I am willing to bet that THAT’S the reason they kept her Hollywood pretty. Because you need to have an attractive romantic love interest to keep the audience pleased. 

Now apparently, she does more in the movie than she does in the book. And that’s great. That’s super. She’s the one breaking in to destroy the d20 of doom. Hell yeah I guess. But I also don’t care. You wanna know why? BECAUSE I AM NOT READING THE BOOK. Superficial changes that improve certain aspects doesn’t make the movie better than it is. It’s like polishing a fucking turd. Yeah, it’s nicer than what you had, but you are still making me hold this piece of dogshit.

They don’t have characters. They don’t have chemistry BECAUSE they don’t have characters. It’s a fucking wash.

3) Drowning in References

But now we talk about the big one. The big fucking thing that everyone and their mother is obsessing about this movie over. And the thing that has gotten me from not liking this movie to fucking DESPISING it.

The references.

To quote from people who will be seeing the movie in the theater *ahem*...

“OHMYGOD IS THAT TRACER?! OH AND IT’S HARLEY AND THE JOKER! OH! OH! OH! IRON GIANT! HALO! BORDERLANDS! BACK TO THE FUTURE! BATMAN—FUCKING IT’S THE BATMAN! THEY MENTIONED THRILLER! THAT’S PRINCE! STREET FIGHTER! MECHA-GODZILLA FIGHTING GUNDAM! MINECRAFT! NINJA TURTLES! FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH! STAR TREK! FIREFLY! THE SHINING! IT’S FUCKING CHUCKY!!!”

…Ok? So what?

Not to be a snob, but seriously—so what? Why does it matter?

Listen, I like crossovers too. I remember the Avengers and what a big goddamn deal it was, and how it made everyone’s jaw drop to the ground, and how in some ways, it still does. But whereas with those it felt organic, Ready Player One with its ninety thousand references felt…empty.

I’m going to bring out two comparisons to the table that do the same thing that Ready Player One did, “Who Framed Rodger Rabbit?” and “Wreck-It Ralph.” Both had pop-culture icons throughout them. One had all of the classic cartoons all spliced together—where you saw Daffy Duck and Donald Duck in the same shot having a dual piano-off. One of them had all of these video game characters that you loved and embraced since you were a kid, running around and hanging out ala “Toy Story.” These big names are all in the background, just like Ready Player One, but they’re clearly different in terms of execution. Why is that?

Well it’s because the movies weren’t reliant on them. Sure, Rodger Rabbit had fun moments with these big names, but if you took them out and animated totally new characters with similar personalities, what would you lose? Nothing. The plot is the same, the dynamics are the same, and it can still be seen as a salute to the classic animations from back in the day to also an allegory for the Jim Crowe era just as the book intentionally was. Same goes for Wreck-it Ralph, the character goes through a fundamental change that has him accepting who he is and how “there’s nobody else I’d rather be, than me” ALL THE WHILE paying respects to classic arcade video games.

The same can’t be said for Ready Player One. The instant you take away the pop-culture references, the movie loses its protective suit of armor to reveal it’s about…nothing. 

It is. 

Nothing. 

The generic quest, the generic corporate baddie, the generic love interest, the main character has nothing to say, and the conflict is revealed to be flat—nothing about it sticks out or makes an impression.

And if you fail to make an impression without a fucking suit pop-culture references then, well, if I may use a pop-culture quote myself...“If you’re nothing without the suit, then you shouldn’t have it.”

Plain and simple.

But then…there’s the one thing I can’t really debate. 

“It’s just fun though, right?”

Yeah sure. I’ll admit around that third act, even though it was long overdrawn, I had fun watching the violence and references I understood while they blasted “We’re Not Gonna Take It” in the background.

But y’know what? It was just about as enjoyable as seeing someone adapt a piece of shitty fanfiction, because both have one thing in common for everything that they do: It’s just there for fan service. If you make the statement “well the Oasis is cool,” then you’ve clearly missed the point because you don’t like the movie, you like it’s gimmick. And it’s gimmick exists—it’s called VR Chat.

Meanwhile, screenwriters of different backgrounds, ethnicities, genders and religions from everywhere across the world are actually putting EFFORT into their screenwriting and directing. And while their action scenes for their blockbuster idea may not be perfect, they at least tried and did something new with it.

I went to see “Wrinkle in Time” today after I’d seen Ready Player One yesterday, needing to see literally anything good. And yeah, it’s not perfect. It’s got some stilted dialogue and some questionable acting on nearly all fronts at points and the conflict can be about as cliched as you can imagine, but the visuals, the costume design—you could tell everyone cared and put a goddamn effort into everything put forth. It’s much more gorgeous than the downright UGLY CG that was in the Oasis world in Ready Player One, and I guarantee you nobody had the phrase “B055MAN69” anywhere. It didn’t pander to kids or guys who wanted to feel validated for knowing a couple references. It wanted to tell the story of fighting back evil and hatred by embracing love. It’s cheesy and sappy…but fuck me, if it didn’t try to say something while having fun.

But fuck that movie right? We have Iron Giant fighting Mechagodzilla. 

If you have that, then why bother putting in effort?

That’s what kills me. It’s lazy and people praise it because it just stuck pop-culture words in a fucking blender. Don’t call it innovative. Don’t call it original. Don’t call it anything than what it is.

80’s. Prepubescent. Fucking. Fanfiction.

You can love it and enjoy it if you want, I mean I don’t like not liking movies. It sucks. And in some aspects, I can see why you can if you turn your brain off but…I’m not gonna lie, to see this get away with murder insults me.

Listen, I love Spielberg. There is nobody I respect more in the business. His work in AI, and the reason why he did so to keep a dying friend’s vision alive will always keep him as one of my personal heroes but…sometimes you gotta call people out when they make shit. And I am.

I don’t care what anyone says, don’t see Ready Player One. Watch something worthwhile. Go to Netflix and watch “Stranger Things” if you’ve got that need for an 80′s kick, or hell--”Blade Runner 2049″ is a visual goddamn MARVEL. Go see “The Post” or “Jaws” if you want some good Spielberg. Just PLEASE! Go see something that isn’t just a bunch of references that almost feel as though it’s a remake of “ctrl+alt+del.” 

(Random aside, people have told me to read the original book...but if that fucking thing is ANYTHING like this movie, I’d rather BURN IT than let it get one inch into my house. So no, I’m not going to read the book even if there are claims that it’s “better.” (Even though I believe that it’s impossible to say a book is better than it’s adaptation or vice versa because it’s two different mediums and as such it’s hardly fair, but that’s a whole other thing.) Point is, I’ve never been more turned off to a book in my godddamned life and I ain’t gonna bother.)

[briangroth27]

Ready Player One Review

I went into Ready Player One with polarized preconceptions. Several friends loved the book so I was initially excited, but in the run-up to the film's release hate exploded online and I saw all manner of spoilers and scans of troubling chunks of the novel, which made me much more wary. I still liked the story’s idea so the trailers’ focus on nostalgia didn’t bother me, but I didn’t know what to expect going in. I was pleasantly surprised: it’s a fun roller coaster! There are several strong ideas at play, even if they aren't fleshed out as much as they could've been. It definitely seems like most of the book’s problematic stuff has been excised, making for a fast-moving, enjoyable film with a strong, important message.

Full Spoilers…

Tye Sheridan was solid as Wade Watts/Parzival, a generally good guy obsessed with OASIS’ virtual playground and the quest to win control of it. Sheridan was awkward and geeky enough to sell a classic nerd persona without being so overbearing or unlikable that it's unbelievable Art3mis (Olivia Cooke) would fall for him (or that we would root for him). An altercation in the real world with Wade’s aunt’s (Susan Lynch) boyfriend (Ralph Ineson) was a nice moment for Sheridan to show Watts’ vulnerability and fear, giving a glimpse of how differently he reacted to challenges outside the OASIS. I would’ve liked to see more opportunities for that in the script, particularly after Art3mis meets him for real. While I was glad Wade was toned way down from what I’ve heard he is in the novel, I think he’s written a bit too safely. He’s likable, but he’s so much an everyman that he lacks conflict. I don’t think genuinely good characters are boring, but challenging their beliefs is a way to make goodness interesting and this film doesn’t do a lot of that. That could’ve been easily remedied by playing up a few aspects of the movie version to give him a stronger arc. For example, Wade’s poor and wants to win the contest so he can live a life of luxury (winning comes with a huge payday). Why not use that selfish—if understandable, in a world consumed by severe economic decline no one cares about because they all escape to the OASIS—instinct to spark more conflict with Art3mis, who wants to better the world with her winnings? Why not have Wade argue that it’s easier to play in the OASIS than to endlessly fight and maybe really die for people who don’t care about the real world? Maybe even let the promise of relaxation, safety, and an end to financial worries tempt her a bit so her values are challenged as well. When she beats that temptation to carry on with her crusade, Wade could also realize there are more important things than his own comfort.

Also, Wade declares his love for Art3mis way faster than anyone could reasonably love someone, somewhat undercutting the “take chances with your heart” lesson he learns later, so I wish the script had given him time to find out what real love is. He could still be intimidated by the enormity of real love, necessitating that lesson when actual feelings are on the line. While I don’t think their love story is any shallower than in the average film, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t have been deepened. Lean into Wade’s instant “movie love” and have it mess up Art3mis’ quest by making his help a hindrance for a while. His eagerness to connect with her does destroy his real life, but the movie only comments on how foolish he is to reveal his real name, not that his infatuation is the cause. I also wish there was much more reaction to Wade’s family being murdered; it radicalizes him to Art3mis’ cause (making his aunt into yet another woman in a refrigerator, unfortunately) and Sheridan is good at conveying the loss for the few moments the film lets him live in it, but beyond that it felt like the loss got forgotten somewhere. Even when Wade and his friends intercept villain Nolan Sorrento (Ben Mendelsohn) as he’s exiting the OASIS and trap him in a simulation, Wade’s rage at his aunt’s death seems to be mostly an act, because he has a totally cool head as soon as he leaves Sorrento’s presence. Had the movie presented this as an example of how disconnected players had become from people in their real lives (even if they do make friends with people online), it would’ve been a strong, compelling rebuke of the OASIS. If that’s the intention, it needed a vocalized realization and a moment for Sheridan to explore it.

Olivia Cooke was awesome and driven as Samantha Cook/Art3mis, who—like others have pointed out—had a stronger plot and motivation than Wade did. Since her father died a debtor worked to death by the evil corporation IOI, she was out to prevent them from winning the contest and (in the book, so I’ve been told) wants to use her financial winnings to better the real world. I wish that end goal had been clearly articulated in the movie, because while I like the idea that the world is so bad that the only thing worth fighting for is an escape from it, the huge sum of money the players were competing for could make a real difference. Also, it might have been interesting for Art3mis to be out to shut down the game altogether. There's a literal "delete the OASIS" button—which I kinda wish was designed to look like the Ghostbusters’ Containment Unit—introduced at the end that's never referenced elsewhere, so why not tease it earlier as part of Art3mis' mission? Shutting down the game (and reimbursing everyone for their virtual loot) so that people would be forced to focus on bettering and living in the real world would’ve been a logical goal for her. That's where you could play up Wade's reverence for James Halliday (Mark Rylance) and his OASIS by making him argue for the importance of a game, leading to them compromising with the "close the OASIS on Tuesdays and Thursdays" idea at they implement in end.

Samantha immediately shutting down Wade shortening her real name to Sam after they met in the real world was a nice beat; it was a small moment, but it’s cool that she got to assert her chosen identity in the real world as well as online. I loved that she was weirded out by Wade saying he loved her so quickly and that she called him out on not really knowing her, instead only seeing the parts she wanted him to see. Those both felt like realistic reactions and smart commentary on internet (and real-life) interactions as informed by movies where all romance is a speedy fairy tale. I do wish they'd continued to subvert and expand on those ideas, however. They could've played up her insecurities about her real self beyond being embarrassed by a birthmark, which would've been a nice contrast to Wade's confidence in the OASIS vs. his considerably more fearful real-world persona. It also would've been nice if more than her birthmark had thrown Wade off. Props to him for not caring about her physical appearance, but that's a really low bar; why not include some personality traits he doesn't like? Different tastes in pop culture? Are there things about Wade or his interests she doesn’t like? At the very least, her rebellion could've fueled conflict between them and created much more drama than her apprehension about her birthmark did. Her drive could've been too much for him at first, since he just wanted a cozy life and she's putting her real self in danger. Now that I think about it, playing that up could’ve been a reference itself to Han and Leia in the original Star Wars. While conflict and challenges would’ve generated more sparks and, eventually, a stronger bond, both Sheridan and Cooke sold what they got and I liked them together. While I appreciated that they were drawn as more or less equally capable in the contest (and Samantha was definitely more capable in the real world), I didn’t need her to tell Wade she knew he'd win: it seemed less supportive and more like it undercut her own skills to nod at him being some kind of savior. She does get a lot to do in securing Wade’s access to the final challenge from behind enemy lines, though, which was cool and made winning a bit more of a team effort.

I liked Wade’s best friend Aech (Lena Waithe) a lot and the reveal that the male avatar was controlled by a woman was cool. It was also a nice touch that her mechanic skills weren’t received with shock once her friends knew who she was (and that she didn’t need to explain how she was such a good mechanic!). Waithe was good with what she got, but I wish they'd used her to explore the idea that the OASIS lets you be anyone and anything you want a bit more. Wade gets confidence, Samantha gets beauty and the power to strike back, and Sho (Philip Zao) gets respect beyond his years, but letting Helen articulate exactly what she gets out of the OASIS could’ve been a powerful moment and an argument for its positive aspects. I’m glad the movie at least nodded at her being a lesbian (by having her avatar enjoy making out with the Shining ghost (Gem Refoufi)) instead of ignoring that altogether, though that’s the perfect example of something that could’ve been expanded upon by giving her a moment to say the OASIS allowed her to acceptably live her truth. I wish we’d gotten to know Wade’s pals Sho and Daito (Win Morisaki) better as well. They could've at least had varied goals; rather than seeking control and fortune, maybe one of them could’ve just been down to complete the challenges like a trophy hunter in today’s video games. In general, I would've liked to see more of Wade's competitors before he brings everyone together at the climax. TJ Miller’s I-R0k is a great counterpart to Wade, given he comes off as a much more problematic nerd than Watts does, but he’s still essentially an IOI stooge rather than a player with his own agenda. Are there rebel Gunters Art3mis works with that do extreme things she doesn't approve of? There's only so much screen time, of course, but after the first leg of the Egg Hunt it felt like only the High Five and IOI were invested in the quest.

Mendelsohn was good as the evil businessman in charge of keeping IOI's profits up. That he wanted to monetize the OASIS by putting ads all over it and wanted to charge for its use made him a good avatar for both Hollywood leaning on nostalgia instead of creating new things and for the forces opposed to net neutrality, since this tech should be for everyone. The fact that he was greedier than outright mustache-twirling evil (until he started killing people) was a smart choice that kept him human. At the same time, that greed quickly led him down a "who cares" path: he has no concern about zeroing out everyone scrambling for the Easter Egg, which would bankrupt everyone against him (I hope Wade restored those players' coin counts!), and that was good character progression. I also liked his fake geek scene: being fed trivia to convince Wade they were the same (and his general exasperation with geek culture) was a good way to make him markedly different from every other character in the movie, particularly the younger generation. I also liked the change in his response to confronting Wade as an “inferior” geek and Wade as a competent rebel threat. I've seen it jokingly pointed out that a rich white guy like Sorrento just admitting he's a criminal and giving up at the end is the most unrealistic thing in the movie, but I think that's foreshadowed by Wade confronting him with the "gun." Nolan respects the gamers when they show the capability to end his life; as soon as they're willing to play by his rules, he takes them seriously and backs down almost immediately. Like Wade’s online courage and offline weakness, Nolan has an “avatar” of strength in the real world around people he believes are less than him. 

Contrasting with Sorrento, I really liked that the IOI researchers (Turlough Convery, Joe Hurst, Eric Sigmundsson, James Dryden, Danielle Phillips, Rona Morrison, Khalil Madovi, Morris Minelli) were truly invested in the outcome of the game and (eventually) watching Wade win it. Their glee at the success of the hunt and the purity of the final challenge added a lot of texture to them. They may have sold out to IOI (or simply been forced into working with them because of debt or promises of riches), but they weren't just heartless drones. While I appreciated that depth, I was a little confused about the power IOI wields in general in this world. One of their divisions seemed to be a (virtual) privatized debtor’s prison and I would've liked to see what that was like when not engaged in the egg hunt (assuming it existed before Halliday's challenge). That seems ripe for the potential to program nightmares into prisoner’s minds when the only crime was falling behind on their debts. I've been told that in the book, IOI's Sixers are more like indentured servants and I could see that spin in the film (particularly through Samantha's dad), but some clarity on what their actual power level and place in society was would've been appreciated, because it certainly looked like Samantha had been arrested by them. It was also a little odd that IOI could blow up part of the Cleveland Stacks and no authorities cared or even showed up until the end, unless that's a comment on the classism of this society. Despite that lack of clarity, "the common people vs. a corporation with too much power" is a solid theme and the movie plays it well. I also appreciated that Sorrento’s real-world muscle was headed up by a woman, F’nale Zandor (Hannah John-Kamen). She could’ve easily been a guy and most movies would’ve gone that way, but making her a strong, dangerous woman who didn’t like Sorrento that much was a cool choice. It would’ve been nice for Samantha, Sho, and Daito to be able to defeat her instead of Wade (who was focused on the OASIS during their fight), though.

I liked Halliday and his quiet sadness in the wake of the important lesson about connections he'd learned too late. He seems much more likable and understandable than what I've heard about his book counterpart. I'm pretty quiet in real life, so I could definitely relate to his difficulty opening up to people. The fact that his quest to know his favorite pop culture is really a quest to appreciate the game and the world outside by connecting with real people (first Halliday, then people in your real life) was an awesome twist. Whether Halliday is really dead or not doesn't matter to me; either way, he is free of his creation and has found a successor who can do what he couldn’t. Halliday’s programmed self leaving with his childhood self was a perfect exit from the story for him. Simon Pegg gave a solid, unexpectedly subdued performance as Halliday's former friend Ogden Morrow that I liked a lot. He had a good bit of tragedy to him over falling out with Halliday and I liked how he figured into the OASIS world. Serving as the docent of the Halliday museum felt like a cool way to honor his friend and preserve his memory while potentially trying to figure out exactly what drove them apart. I’m glad that the fact that Halliday was in love with Og’s wife wasn’t played to make anyone look bad—rather, it was treated as just something that happened—and the real tragedy was that they fell apart over something Og probably would’ve forgiven Halliday for had they just talked about it instead of Halliday bottling it all up inside (another lost connection).

I liked the references in Halliday's virtual world—I love 80s/90s pop culture—but almost none of the cameos stunned me. They were more like set dressing selling the idea of a nostalgia playground and that’s all they needed to be. If they were the real characters instead of players using avatars, we'd lose focus on Wade, Samantha, etc. and their struggle. While we do get glimpses of interests beyond the 80s/90s—the Adam West Batmobile, King Kong, mentions of steampunk, and disco music (bizarrely referred to as "old school"...all of this is old nowadays, not to mention to teens in the 2040s)—as others have noted it would've been nice to see more diverse fandoms represented by the Gunters, even while they were engaged in cracking Halliday's 80s/90s-focused challenge. It would've brought more variety to the characters. As for the contest itself, I loved the race and The Shining test a lot. The race for the first key, through a twisting and turning New York, was a great adaptation of racing games that made me think of Split/Second. It also featured two of my favorite cameos in the movie, Rexy from Jurassic Park and King Kong, because those “were” those characters. The Shining challenge for the second key featured an excellent recreation of Stanley Kubrick's movie before morphing into pretty much exactly what I'd imagine a bombastic video game version of that film would be, which was cool. That adaptation being hated by Stephen King was also a nice tie to Halliday becoming disillusioned by what people were giving up to use his game. Jack Torrence’s fall and attempt to destroy his family also feels like a pretty perfect (if extreme) parallel to Halliday feeling he’d betrayed his best friend by secretly loving his wife and cutting him out of the company. The chaotic melee leading up to the final key was fine, but full of players I didn't know or care about so it fell flatter than it probably should have (one of the "real" characters thrown into that battle gets a great moment, though). On the other hand, the final challenge was a nice, quiet moment that fit the film's theme and Halliday's lesson. It felt right to bring it all down to one player connecting with the designer of one game. The actual final challenge was perfectly personal too, but they totally missed a chance to homage The Last Crusade by having Halliday’s wizard avatar say “You have chosen…wisely.”  

I liked the ideas behind this world quite a bit. It’s definitely prescient to showcase a world in love with distractions and games to the point where they stop interacting with real people or doing something worthwhile with their lives (who among us hasn’t gotten distracted by Twitter or Facebook and put off doing something we should be doing?). They did a great job of showing how much people were wrapped up in their virtual lives, spending real money (even their mortgage money!) on virtual trinkets and upgrades. That real-world financial connection made the stakes high enough to carry the film for me. It's true Wade and the High Five are only fighting for a recreational toy (even if it has other applications like education) without having goals for their lives outside the OASIS, but in the dystopia they live in (and in our real world), people need a release and escape: our lives can't just be work/school, food, bathroom breaks, and sleep. That's why we go to movies and play games in the first place. It's why people shouldn't police what people on food stamps use them for; existence should be more than just existing. At the same time, remembering the OASIS is just a game, not the pinnacle of your existence, is a great message and the movie walks the line between these seemingly at-odds lessons very well. To that end, I wish they'd said the High Five were going to use their enormous winnings to make the real world somewhere people would want to explore too.

I'm interested to see if the novel expands on what you can do in the OASIS beyond playing. I did miss the first minute or two—I came in as Wade was introducing his treadmill/haptic suit—so perhaps some of these elements were referenced and I just missed it. I've heard kids go to school inside it and that's an interesting opportunity for students to be exposed to any facet of history/science/whatever in a tactile way through VR. I'd be interested to see how much work is done online in conjunction with OASIS applications, if any. Do people buy their food with OASIS coins? The more real-world things are wrapped up in the program, the more crucial it becomes to save it from a corporation that wants to eventually price people out of vital services. On a more personal level, seeing more people experimenting with how they present themselves to the world would've been great. If they can literally be anything or anyone, a lot of personal freedom is also at stake. Aech and Shao touch on this freedom, as does Art3mis with her idealized appearance, but I would've loved to see more, particularly with today's political battles over transgender rights. In terms of how people in this future interact with each other, I found it disheartening that even 30 years from now, in a world where everyone is constantly online playing in the OASIS, Wade still has trouble believing a girl—even the famous Art3mis!—could be an expert at trivia. This very modern problem doesn't come up much in the movie, but the Slappers Only line stood out to me. Wade and Samantha test each other on Goldeneye 64 knowledge, which is fine, but it's obvious by what she says that she'd know what Slappers Only is without Wade mansplaining it.

From the look of trailers, I never would've guessed Steven Spielberg directed this. However, he brought his trademark heart and humanity to the CGI elements and video game structure; even in unfamiliar trappings, it felt and acted like a Spielberg movie. Despite areas where the characters could've been fleshed out to create more conflict or explore the personal freedom of the OASIS, Spielberg's touch and the strength of his performers kept them likable and engaging. He also maintained a quick pace: this didn’t feel like a two and a half hour movie at all. I thought the CGI looked good, given this was supposed to be a video game with game graphics. Since it intentionally looked "off" from reality, it wasn't jarring to have anime-inspired avatars or constantly shifting geography. I liked that the score had touches of film scores from the 80s in it; those bits of nostalgia did get me. From the excerpts I've read online, most of the novel’s problematic elements were removed for the adaptation. Wade doesn't show any transphobia—Aech brings up the idea that Art3mis could be a guy and Wade denies it, but seems to accept that possibility anyway. They're worried Art3mis is a guy who’ll steal Wade’s coins, not that he’s a guy who wants to date him. There's no "masturbation manifesto,” no super-long lists of everything Wade has studied (partially because they can just show us all the references and partially because the movie has a more personal egg hunt). Wade's attempts to make Art3mis like him are also toned down or cut altogether, though I wouldn't have minded including one or two and subverting them to teach him that real love isn't like in a movie where grand gestures and "persistence"/stalking will get you everywhere. Unfortunately, it did seem like there was still a noticeable lack of content by female and minority artists, though. Thriller gets a shoutout, but only as a costume Wade considers wearing. As I’ve seen pointed out elsewhere, there was also a lack of 80s content that was geared toward girls. Why not have Jem and the Holograms playing the club Wade and Samantha go to or something? This section of the OASIS is curated to Halliday’s tastes, sure, but if we’re going all-in on the 80s and 90s, largely ignoring minority and female artists is a pretty huge oversight.

I don’t think my critiques here are about movie-ruining problems, just areas where a good, solid film could’ve been exceptional. Even if its characters could’ve been expanded to make more of an impact and statement, Ready Player One is definitely worth seeing! It's an exciting adventure with heart and a great, relevant message. I had a lot of fun and I recommend it!

Check out more of my reviews, opinions, and original short stories here!

[insomniasix]

Friday Part II

A failed attempt in humor xD (My baby @mzargentum I feel like it turned out a little more of a Gladix than a Promlin, I still hope you like it. Also, I challenge you, in order for us to get our muses in an actual line, continue! Any way you want! It’s yours to do as you please!)

Warnings: None | Words: 1376 | Characters: Muerlin, Six, Gladiolus, Prompto (And Friday!) , mention of a very sleepy prince and a stubborn Glaive.

Proving Gladio right, the couple found themselves in Willownoire in exactly one hour after they left home.

Once out of the car, Gladio came face first with Friday’s snout as she sniffed him, head to toes, huffing her welcome before Six moved in to calm her.

“Friday?” the Glaive said the Queen Behemoth’s name and she immediately turned to face her, standing tall and waiting for her orders “Where is she?”

As if by instinct, the Behemoth turned on her heel and led them to the Stormsender’s castle.

At the sound of Friday’s heavy steps connecting to the ground, Prompto almost warped outside, weapon ready and aiming at whatever made her act this way.

“Whoa,” Gladio raised his hands a little, moving to stand between the barrel of Prompto’s gun and his wife “it’s just us!” he warned in a calming voice before Prompto run into them, hot tears running down his blushed cheeks.

“Easy, sunshine. We’re here now.” Six used her ‘mom’ voice on him and he instantly calmed himself; his shoulders becoming more relaxed as he took a step back to look at her.

“Thank you, guys!” he smiled awkwardly at his sudden burst of emotions.

Prompto always hated being a burden to his friends; but here they were, in the middle of the night, running to his rescue. None of them wasting a single minute to think twice about it.

“Don’t mention it.” Gladio put his arm around the blond’s shoulders, bringing him down with his weight “Now, where’s your little rascal of a wife?”

“She’s in the Oasis.”

“The what now?” Gladio rubbed the back of his head, not understanding how the word seemed normal to the both of them.

“Oh, right,” Prompto huffed a smile at his friend’s reaction “You’ve never been inside the Castle of Willownoire, have you?”

“Well, get ready for the beauty of a life time, husband.” Six laughed as she pet Friday’s leg.

“Husband?” Gladio blushed at her word of choice. She’d never call him that before today “Must be a hell of a thing to have you that hyped.”

“It’s better if we show you.” The young gunslinger smiled, leading the way to Muerlin’s special place.

From the outside, it looked like they were getting ready to enter one of the Castle’s biggest rooms. It was safe to say they were wrong.

Once Prompto opened the double doors, the couple came across the most beautiful scenery they’d seen in a while.

Gladio gasped as Six’s mind run back to the first time she’d seen it, long ago.

The sylleblossom fields of Tenebrae!

This was Muerlin’s safest place. This was her home!

Looking around the field, it really felt as if she was back.

An enormous field of blue blossoms. The light wind, hugging their bodies, and the sweet smell of the flowers, creating the same old feeling of nostalgia the memory of the old and unruined Tenebrae had left in her mind.

A single thing was different from the memory, though.

In the middle of the soft, blue field –just a few feet away from them –was a bright white cloud.

On it, laid the petite figure of the Stormsender’s daughter and Willownoire’s Queen.

Muerlin.

The young queen’s body was filled with scars, cuts and bruises, just as Prompto said on the phone.

It made Six’s heart skip a beat; thinking back at the first time she saw her son Nyx like that. She knew though: Muerlin wasn’t Nyx! His Kingsglaive abilities helped him heal faster.

What had happened?

Muerlin was the daughter of an Astral, she was supposed to be protected by the Gods.

The three moved closer to the cloud and Prompto caught his breath. Muerlin looked a lot better than earlier, but she was still in a bad shape.

Six took a few small steps closer to her unmoving body, careful not to touch even a hair of her head before making absolutely sure of what the situation at hand was. Once she was standing but a breath away, she gently placed two of her fingers on the girl’s wrist.

“Her pulse is steady.” She stated calmly, as much for Prompto’s relief as her own “Bringing her here was a right move, kid.”

“Yeah, good job!” Gladio agreed, both smiling brightly as Prompto seemed to relax.

“Now, to wake her up!” Six’s smile turned into a smirk as she rolled the sleeves of Gladio’s shirt up, cracking her fingers, ready to use every single technique she learned while raising Prince Sleepyhead.

“You can try kissing her awake.” The Shield side-eyed the younger man, teasing him.

Prompto laughed awkwardly at his comment “That’s… for when I told Six to kiss you when you were turned into a frog, isn’t it?” he stated, mostly to himself.

“Nope, he actually thought that was cute, back then.” Six huffed a laugh as she examined the cloud underneath Muerlin’s body “This feels like a cloud,”

“It is.” Prompto raised his eyebrows, answering matter-of-factly.

“I get it,” the Glaive glared back at him for thinking everything that was normal to him, would also be normal for them, living outside Willownoire “but it can’t be. We’re inside the freaking castle.”

“This whole room is… a safe haven for Muerlin. She’s created everything.” Prompto caught up with her chain of thought.

“So we can move it.” Gladio joined as well, liking where this was leading.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Six smirked at him.

“Oh, I’d miss this!” Gladio smiled devilishly, making his way to stand next to her.

“What are you guys doing?” fear took its place in Prompto’s heart as Six and Gladio took their places. Each grabbing the cloud at the spot where it connected to the sylleblossom field.

“Remember how we woke up Noct on his nineteenth birthday?” Gladio laughed, nodding at Six he was ready.

“You two rolled –oh crap!”

By the time Prompto had managed to spit his final words, the cloud was already flipping from one side to the other, taking Muerlin’s body with it. His fearful shriek and Gladio’s proud chuckle covering Muerlin’s painful moans as she was now fully awake.

“Muerlin!!” Prompto run to her side “Babe, look at me, are you alright?” he checked her, making sure she wasn’t any more hurt that she was before.

“She was sleeping, Prom.” Six laughed as she hi-fived Gladio.

“You should have known better, bro.” Gladio laughed.

“You were?” sea-blue eyes full of hurt looking at Muerlin.

“What is going on?” the young silver haired queen rubbed her head, looking around in everything and everyone, trying to understand what was happening.

“What happened, Muerlin?” Prompto raised his voice, his worry taking the better of him as he still didn’t have a clear answer at what was going on with her.

“Why are you yelling at me?” she almost cried out, voice breaking at how mad he seemed to be at her.

“What are those?” he pointed at her bruised arms.

“I had a training session with Friday.” Her heart was racing, she couldn’t understand why he was so frustrated.

“Prom...” Six tried to calm him; both of them, understanding where each of them stood at this misunderstanding.

“What you did was stupid and dangerous and it scared the hell out of me!” Prompto wrapped his arms around his precious wife, holding her tight while he stroke her hair; keeping her as close as possible –close enough for her to feel his heart beat like crazy against her skin.

Glancing down at Six, Gladio could understand his friends overreaction. If he were in his shoes, he would have gone insane.

He did.

“What?” the Glaive smiled up at him warmly, picking his mind and trying to guess what he was thinking.

Gladio moved closer and wrapped an arm around his beloved, kissing her forehead “We drove all the way out here for a wakeup call.” He whispered in her hair.

“You got to see something beautiful.”

“My love, I don’t need to travel all the way to Willownoire to see something beautiful.” He stared into her eyes while her loving smile warmed his heart.

“Excuse me?!” Muerlin punched his sides, making him take a step away from Six “It’s my turn to hug her!”

Tagging : @nemo-ne-impune-lacessit​ @mzargentum​ @alicemoonwonderland​ @fieryfantasy​  @nykamito​ @mandakatt​ @thedragontamerying​ @mp938368​ @stunninglyignis​ @lady-asuka​ @ladye11e​ @ffxvhoe​ @valkyrieofardyn​ @insomniacapples​  @frostca11 @theyearofdiamonddogs @daschstuff @themissimmortal @eve-is-random

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Thank you for all the love and support! <3

[volume-indigo]

a bad romance

1. I am floating. I move my head beneath the water and watch the surface shake like champagne bubbles. The water is dancing and it is peaceful, a peace I do not wish to be free of. The light that shines down on me illuminates my bathtub makes the bubbles glisten as if I were really bathing in a pool of fizzy golden nectar. I yearn to keep this peace forever, under the water where no one can find me. Where the outside world is indistinguishable from the sounds of my own thoughts. I am alone, and I have never felt more content inside this glimpse of loneliness. My bath smells of roses and chamomile. The aroma sends peace through my body as if God jarred the mixture himself. My heart starts to dance like the champagne bubbles that now break apart as I lift my head out of the water. I am grateful for the rare moments I experience with a blank mind, free of the constant battle my conscious has with itself. As the water loses its warmth and shifts into a temperature too lukewarm for my liking, I remove myself from the tub and wrap myself in one of the green and cream-colored tropical towels I picked out as “his and hers” towels for the doomed relationship that was Doug and Margot. As I wrap myself in the towel, the memory of Doug wrapping me in it and pulling me into his arms feels so real that I immediately rip it off and run naked into my bed. I lay there and let the fan make my body so cold that all I can think about is how uncomfortable I am once goosebumps start to trickle down my body. That technique works for about sixty seconds, and then his face is back in my head again. The thick head of dark hair and almond eyes that gorge into me and give the cutest wide-eyed look that ever existed. It was a look he’d always give me when he must have wanted me to fall even more in love with him than I already was. There is only one way out of this, and that is to think about the man who takes up the second half of my heart. Jimmy is familiar, he is a boyfriend and a brother all in one. No one can make me laugh, smile, or cry like he can. He is the one I have loved since before I finished puberty, he knows me completely and inside and out. He has the power to hit every nerve and ignite every crevice of me. His beauty is his hair, a golden oasis that I wish I could explore for the rest of my life. This is the deepest evil I have ever known, existing amongst two things in the world that I want so badly that it feels like a need and not being able have either one of them. Except for the mere blink in time that I did.

2.

The sun is setting over the grass fields we used to play in once upon a time. Our preteen ghosts wander the endless green and walk right next to each other, hand in hand. Jimmy and I sit against the wall of an old handball court, looking at each other and smiling. Now we’re laughing because we can hear our oldest friends, Annette and Brad enjoying each other’s company right behind the wall that divides us. Jimmy pushes my hair from my face and pulls me in for a kiss. The familiarity of kissing a boy you’ve been kissing since you were thirteen is a comfort neither of us have ever been able to let go of these last eight years. He looks at me now with a remorseful tenderness that I do not recognize in him. He knows that our time together is over. We have completed this part of our journey, and it makes us both want to claw our way back together in cowardly nostalgia. The sense of malaise we both experience without the other’s presence is unbearable, which only pushes us further apart. Jimmy grabs my hand now and laces his fingers between mine. “I love you, Margot, so much,” I spot a tear about ready to break loose from his tear duct. “I just don’t think I’m in love with you anymore,” he looks as if he has just broken his own heart. Even though he has spoken my feelings exactly, this cuts me deep like a knife. My soul feels like it’s bleeding out and drowning us both in a pool of my blood. “I know,” tears that I have been denying myself for months are now erupting from me. “I can’t say that I’m in love with you anymore either, but I love you more than I can possibly explain.” He pulls my head into his shoulder and strokes my hair. Stay calm, sweet girl, I will never leave you, is what he says to me with this action. He really has never broken that promise. Even when we have wanted to kill each other, I have never completely lost him. He is mine forever, my best friend and my soulmate who is no longer meant to be romantic. I break loose from his grasp and look forward. He moves his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in. I am warm, I am content. We watch the sunset together and enjoy the last moments we will ever have as lovers instead of just as friends. He is mine, I am his, forever.

3. “I miss the days when the only man I was in love with was my father,” Annette is moments from deep sleep right next to me, and this causes her to giggle right out of it. It is a part of our annual tradition that we have a sleepover the night before she goes back to Missouri. This goodbye will not be so bad because this will be her last miserable year in the state she hates. She will return to me, the sunshine, and palm trees right here in California in only a few months. Annette is my best friend, my sister, my most trusted confidante. I can communicate to Annette with a breath, a stare, a simple phrase; when we are together, we are one. “You’re ridiculous, Margot,” her fake irritation always charms me, makes me believe I’m funny. “Now let me sleep, I have a 25-hour drive in the morning,” she drifts back into almost sleep, but I am wide awake. I hold onto these last moments with her because I am terrified for the ones that come after. She is my only real friend, the only one that actually cares whether I live or die, whether I’m happy or sad. She’s the only friend who hasn’t betrayed my pathetically gullible trust. “I love you, Annette,” I whisper to her sleeping subconscious, as if this fact isn’t as clear as day to her. If I’m being honest, even one more year without her will be a hard one to get through. She will abandon me to my own devices, and secretly, I wish I was the one that had to go to school in Missouri to play soccer. In Missouri, I wouldn’t be haunted by the ghosts of old boyfriends, I wouldn’t be crippled by the pain of the past that looks me in the eye every single day I pass by my high school. I could be someone different entirely. That is what I have always wanted: to be someone else entirely.

4. I have a funny obsession with mirrors. I write about them, I dream about them, I stare at myself in them incessantly in hopes that I will someday find myself beautiful. Many people awe over my beauty, compliment my luminous skin, ask me where I get my hair done, and how I stay in such good shape. I do not see what they see. I see the lumpy prepubescent girl I once was. I can almost see the frumpy, Pillsbury dough poster child that once looked back at me through the façade of the pretty girl that looks across from me now. I can still hear “you’re a fat, worthless piece of shit, Margot,” coming from my seventh-grade bully’s mouth at each moment I allow myself to feel pretty. I sit and stare at myself in my ceiling-to-floor length mirror and examine what’s looking back at me. I am the picturesque symbol of a self-hating narcissist, a term I have just coined in this very moment. I see all the beauty and all of the ugly in myself all in one blink of an eye. The image of me is as if Janis Ian and Rachel Green were walking nervously along the same tight rope where the center is a deadly pit of fire. I crawl back into my bed covers and shut my eyes. I see myself as I want to be. I am laying in a field of bright red roses, the sun filling me with warmth under the shade of a eucalyptus tree. My mind has taken me to my Eden. I lay here for a while and dream of a different life, a life in rose fields that go on forever. I wish to stay here eternally, even if it isn’t real. I do not wish to leave this paradise, the only place that has ever truly felt like home. I wish to stay blissfully alone in another realm of reality.

[theproofinthisong]

WALLS REVIEW

i’m back for my review of walls!!

kill my mind: the perfect opening for the album & to announce the new era. i remember listening to it for the first time and my jaw dropping because i didn’t expect that sound & at the same time, it made total sense. it’s not my favorite genre personally but this track is so audacious and amazing. it’s probably the one that is the most different from louis’ previous sounds (in the band or solo stuff) and he’s giving us LIFE with the pop punk bop we always dreamed of. his voice is unique in every song but it especially stands out in this one, particularly at the beginning of the track. it’s such a fierce catchy and energetic track, you want to scream it at the top of your lungs. this is the type of song that makes the crowd lose its shit live. can’t wait to see it. the gimmicks in this one (the aaaah aaah part and the kill my kill my at the end mostly) are so clever, you hear them one time and boom, they can’t leave your mind, it’s witchcraft. i love the contrast between the very high and very low notes, they’re just perfection. AND THE BELTING!!! it’s hot. the earlier pop inspirations are pretty much there and it’s such a wonderful tribute. no wonder why louis loves this track so much. it’s gold and very very bold. 

don’t let it break your heart: see, the first time i listened to the new tracks (at ccme), i was instantly captivated by defenceless & habit. dliby was not a favorite instantly. but it became one. i don’t know why THE FUCK i didn’t pick as a favorite right on the spot. because it is a godsent. like hell!!! the nostalgia!! the raw emotion!! the hope it’s giving you!! the goosebumps!! and OH MY GOD louis’ voice in his...one of his best vocals. like period. it’s so soft and so strong at the same time. it’s so full of feelings, like the vulnerability!! the song speaks to me so much. AND OH MY GOD THE ALBUM VERSION!!! the single one was already extraordinary but the album arrangment makes it even more perfect and delicate!!! the writing in this one makes me cry, it’s so to the point and honest, like you can feel his heart beating in it. it’s the kind of music you carry with you. i know decades from now, it will remind me of my youth and the happy times i had back then. god i’m already sobbing.

two of us: honestly, there are no words for this one. it’s above everything. it’s without a doubt louis’ most personal and gutwrenching track. it’s not the one i listen to the most because it’s painful and so real. you can feel every crack, every hurdle, every tear, every ounce of desperation, every bit of newfound hope. i have a personal connection to this one because i experienced what louis is talking about. i lost my dad when i was 16, a little younger than louis. and oh my god the words he uses to talk about it and his grief is what i felt and still feel. those songs where EVERY WORD could be applied to you and your situation almost never happen. it’s a miracle. so yeah, it hurts to listen to it. but it also makes me really happy. i feel understood, i feel a kinship to him. and while i have no doubt everyone can relate to this song and have it resonating with them, losing a parent is a very specific kind of grief. and i never saw someone describing it so well in a song. his voice is so angelic in this. it’s so controlled but at the same time it’s on the verge of collapsing everytime and never does. god. if i had to pick a song to have as a tattoo, i will pick this one for sure. what a masterpiece.

we made it: BLOODY WE MADE IT. one of the most IN YOUR FACE larry songs out of walls (even if they all are) and i’m dying. it’s easily in my top 3 of louis’ songs performed live. THE POWER. THE CERTAINTY OF IT ALL. like his voice is so assured in this while still being able to be vulnerable and fragile. HOW?? HOW CAN YOU DO IT?? it’s one of the sappiest love songs i’ve ever heard but those are my weakness and fave. what a beautiful declaration. the lyrics are...well i still can’t believe they’re real. he deadass told us everything about his relationship with harry and how they were able to overcome all the obstacles thrown in their faces. in terms of melody, it’s a 10000000/10. you can’t help but sing it with him. it’s wonderfully produced, like the best kind of pop. it has a bit of those oasis vibes (walls and dlibyh also have them) which i’m a HUGE fan of. it’s such an effective single, like i can’t even count the times i listened to it. fucking treasure.

too young: another case of a song i adored the minute i listened to it, but it wasn’t as intense as with others. now it’s truly one of my most cherished tracks out of the album. the opening lines simply kill you, it’s whispered, it’s tender, it’s!!!! too much for my heart!! i’m swooning. i love that he doesn’t push his voice there, it stays at a low level and it makes it even more louder, in a way?? you feel like he’s speaking to only one person (who?? i wonder...), it’s so intimate i almost feel like intruding?? it’s a fucking gift. in terms of writing, it’s also one of my favorite because there are no filters. it tells the story without fear. louis just spilled his whole heart out in his track and that’s so fucking admirable. a jewel we need to protect.

walls: FIRST THE FUCKING INSTRUMENTAL. it fucking ruined me. someone said this song was like a late night conversation and it’s true. walls is probably the song that shows his personal growth the most, like louis couldn’t have written this song five years ago. it’s so grown. it’s so wise. so full of life and conclusions you made. it’s peaceful. it’s reassuring. i don’t know how a song can make you feel all of that but it does. and the lyrics are one of his best. it’s so significative at times (the goodbyes line for example), but metaphorical also (the cardboard full of clothes lines IS GENIUS and the walls one...obviously the best) and opening the song with a sentence and ending it with it is...pure magic. it’s clever but not only. it shows how much he went through and how he’s healing from it and how it helped him, in a way. and the voice. liquid honey. bye.

habit: legend snapped when he included the princess park line. what a chaotic larrie. i expected nothing less from him. i love the melody, it’s so catchy and happy!! it’s kind of a break after the rollercoaster you just went through. very needed. i’m still having a breakdown over it though. it’s such a cute ballad and beautiful love song. you just wanna move your head to it, it makes you truly happy. sunshine in a song form. like i’m smiling rn. and you can hear louis smiling while singing it too!!! it’s...wow. he’s able to communicate his feelings in a manner no other artist can. i will never get tired of it.

always you: we did our waiting. we were fucking starved. now we’re being fed babes!! miss always you is so iconic. the melody is ingrained in my brain after hundred times of listening to that damn snippet. the things i would do for louis. i love what he does with his voice in this, like he’s changing tones and going from one note to another like a champ. this song is so fucking hard to sing and louis is the ONLY one who can master it. shows how unique his voice is. i’m in love with the high parts and the chorus. dang. that’s a song. tell me that this song isn’t THE SHIT. it’s iconic as fuck. and it’s so lovely. still haven’t recovered from all the baby and home mentions. ALSO the legs wrapped around me line??? kill me please!!! i do not thank you.

fearless: now that’s an adjective that comes to mind while talking about louis. the verses aren’t my favorite melody wise but omg the bridge and the chorus!! he did that!!! it’s also the song where he’s singing the lowest (that head voice bitch) and omg. for now it isn’t in my top but i know it will grow on me and i can’t wait.  the lyrics are amazing nonetheless.

perfect now: we know it’s louis’ least favorite track and it’s mine too. it’s still louis though so still amazing. just like fearless, the verses aren’t my favorite part but same, the bridge and the chorus are wonderful. it’s pretty soft. also this is a song about harry (you steal the scene and it’s unrehearsed??) but some sentences can be applied to family and it’s such a nice & encouraging track to listen to when you think about the people you love. it’s very happy. makes you feel loved and exactly where you should be. and as always, his voice is to die for in it.

defenceless: to the surprise of exactly nobody, it’s my favorite song out of walls. it was love at first sight. you cannot explain it. it just is. in terms of writing, it’s my personal favorite (especially “sleeping on our problems and we’ll solve them in our dreams” which is pure poetry...the talent, the impact...i’m dying. also i put this quote everywhere i could, i’m OBSESSED with it). it tucks at your heartstrings, like it’s a very hopeful song but at the same time it’s full of memory of heartbreaks. i could bawl talking about it. harry and louis’ situation is impossible to describe and to comprehend. the things and contradictory feelings they had to face..i can’t even imagine. but he gives us a full glimpse of it in this song. and it’s so fucking brave to be this honest. it takes so much courage and trust. and i’m just in awe. artistically speaking, it’s a fucking tour de force. but like personally, what it means to louis...oh god. i’m dead. and THE MOTHERFUCKING FALSETTO. louis almost never uses it and oh my god. it’s breathtaking. it’s what you hear when you enter heaven. no one, fucking no one, has this kind of falsetto. it’s so special. it makes me wanna die. it’s too much for my heart. my god.

only the brave: it would have been ALSO my favorite song out of walls it it was longer. because it’s...i’m speechless. also very oasis but very louis. and sorry, but it’s better than oasis will ever be. there i said it. the lyrics are objectively the best out of the album, like i’m a slut for metaphors and they’re everywhere in here. i don’t know how to qualify it really but it has this anthem like quality? i can see the arena and thousands of people singing it back to louis. it reminds me of home in the sense that it’s subtle but very blatant at the same time. like he wrote this for us gay people. that ache is there. the pain. the underlying anger. but the optimism. knowing the hurt but never wishing to go back. the vocal control is incredible in this, i’ll say it again, but the ability to switch to chest voice to head voice back to back...he’s one in a billion. there is an intention behind every line and you can feel it piercing your soul. gimme rest.

4 years in the making. i’m so glad i waited and was besides Louis through it all. i’m so fucking proud i could cry. it’s a masterpiece of an album. it has everything. simply everything. i couldn’t have dreamed something better. the voice, the melodies, the lyrics, the emotion, the confidence, the range, the diversity of sounds, the different influences and the way he’s able to bring the best out of them and make them this, the old pop vibe of it while remaining extra modern..it’s pure art. it’s what art should be. making you feel every emotion the artist wanted you to. no one does it better than louis. god. thank you.

[1dreality]

Listening to erstwhile One Direction heartthrob turned soulful solo act Harry Styles croon and plaint and moan on his debut album, Harry Styles, one hears the murmur of many lives lived. The album—consisting of ten richly produced, heavily referential tracks—is awash in world-weary melancholy, an acute heartbreak dulled by a fond wistfulness. Oh, how many stories Harry Styles has to tell, how many blurry, meaningful nights lie in his past. Harry Styles sweeps you up in its sense of knowing, of wisdom, of age. Its mix of space rock and Fleetwood Mac and Sunset Strip scuzz and Brit-pop nostalgia telegraphs a depth, a considered weight. The album has an undeniable undertow.

But then you remember that, wait a second, Harry Styles is only 23. How long and strange could his trip really have been? Of course, a kid grows old fast when he gets famous as a teenager, as part of one of the biggest boy-band acts in history. He travels the world, he meets many young women, he perhaps loves and lusts and whatever else in a more extreme fashion than most regular late-adolescents. But still, Harry Styles is so steeped in a sense of history, in a yearning for the old days, that it’s hard not to see some of it—half of it?—as a put-on, as Harry Styles trying on some vintage clothes and strutting around in them, rather than really wearing them. Harry Styles, while a good and satisfying and occasionally affecting listen, has a sheen of youthful inauthenticity to it, a tinny hum of shallowness cutting through even the album’s grander moments.

By now I’m going to assume we’ve all heard the album’s first single, the Bowie/Oasis homage “Sign of the Times,” on which Styles shows off his new soaring rock vocals. (Which he was able to land on Graham Norton but wasn’t quite able to on Saturday Night Live. It’s a curious choice for a first single, a nearly six-minute epic with lyrics like, “You can’t bribe the door on your way to the sky,” that is supposedly about a dead friend. “Sign of the Times” is not the sexy pop gush of former bandmate Zayn Malik’s new music, nor the homey guitar-and-sweetness of Niall Horan’s first single. (Niall is now making sexy music too.) Still, “Sign of the Times” has an arresting sweep to it, especially as Styles crescendos toward the final big notes, retroactively imbuing the song’s muddled lyrics with heft and importance. For what it’s worth, the song is a fair, honest representation of the larger album, which is perhaps the job of a first single.

You may also have heard Styles perform “Ever Since New York” on Saturday Night Live or the Today show. It’s a song that is, in an odd way, reminiscent of Melissa Etheridge’s “I Take You With Me,” from the Boys on the Side soundtrack. (Kids, consult your local library to find out what Boys on the Side is.) “Ever Since New York” has the same sense of motion, of barreling down the road. Though, unlike Etheridge, Styles is singing about what’s in the rearview, not whatever’s on the horizon. He’s yearning for a moment with someone, grabbing at a memory when he sings, “I've been praying, I never did before / Understand I'm talking to the walls / And I've been praying ever since New York,” before launching into the beery, Fleetwood-flecked chorus, pleading with someone to tell him something “I don’t already know.” There’s that wistfulness, that weary ache, strange but effective coming from a 23-year-old.

Listening to the album at the Sony Music offices in New York, in a small room fittingly decorated with a rock-‘n’-roll-red carpet and a deep-crimson wall, I found myself wanting to know who, exactly, broke Harry’s heart. That's what most of the album seems to be about, in some sense or another. The album—which even features a slow jam called simply “Woman,” thudding with notes of Elton John’s “Benny and the Jets” and Pulp’s “This Is Hardcore”—is very much concerned with one woman or various women whom Styles has loved in some capacity. At the top of my scrawl of notes, I wrote in big letters: “Romance,” “Lost love,” and “Sex.” They are easily the three defining themes of Harry Styles. (And, perhaps, of Harry Styles.)

It’s quite-on-the-nose in “Woman,” which finds Harry playing the jealous lover. “I hope you can see the shape I’ve been in / When he’s touching your skin,” he growls. There’s anger, sure, but he’s still sensitive, wounded Harry. He’s the one pining, self-deprecating. “I’m empty I know,” he sings, a bleak statement that echoes track 5, “Two Ghosts,” a pleasant folk-rock ballad in which Harry keens, in a sweet voice perhaps more familiar to One Direction fans, “We’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty / Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat.” Styles is empty, his heart has stopped beating, he’s a wreck. Or was a wreck? There isn’t really a sense of presence to the album. It all feels recalled from a somewhat safe remove, a looking back on tumultuousness, reading the old diary and remembering a messy, but beautiful, time.

A sex-filled time, too! On songs like the Beck-meets-“Stuck in the Middle with You” barnstormer “Carolina,” and the big-guitar Viper Room thrasher “Kiwi,” Styles sings about how “She feels so good” and evokes “Hard candy dripping on me till my feet are wet.” One could see this as yet another example of that old post-boy band classic, the public announcement that a previously chaste-seeming, non-threatening boy is now a fully actualized sexual being. We’ve heard it many times before, including from Zayn Malik and Niall Horan. I think these songs partly function that way for Styles. But, as with everything else on the album, all that sex is laced with sadness, a regret and a loss. Again: I really want to know who did this to our boy. (A line in “Kiwi”—“Such an actress drivin’ me crazy / But I‘m into it”—perhaps gives us a hint?)

That sex and that sadness are most richly synthesized on the album’s last track, “From the Dining Table.” The song opens with a simple acoustic guitar and Styles gently singing “Played with myself / Where were you / Got drunk by noon / Never felt less cool.” (Those may not be the exact lyrics—my handwriting had really started to break down by this point.) Here’s sad, drunk, masturbating Harry Styles, a jilted lover singing in vaguely Sufjan Stevens-ish tones, later hoping, “Maybe one day you’ll call me / And tell me you’re sorry too.” He’s tried to move on— “Woke up to girl who looked just like you / I almost spoke your name”—but can’t. For all the seriousness of this sentiment, the frankness too, there is something nonetheless kind of cute and puppy dog about it, this earnest and handsome guy talking sensitively about a girl he misses.

I know that’s not the intention, that these are firmly adult emotions that Styles is trying to wrestle with. And of course I’m approaching these songs with the condescension afforded to me by my relative decrepitude. But the way that Styles and his producers—E.P. Jeff Bhasker, along with Alex Salibian, Tyler Johnson, and Kid Harpoon—have assembled such a wide array of throwback music references, from 20, 30, 40 years ago, gives the album an air of precociousness that only highlights the youth of its front man. Granted, a precocious kid who wants to sound like Stevie and Elton and Syd and Lindsey and Liam and Noel and all the rest is a precocious kid with good taste, a precocious kid I wanna know. But it’s still pastiche, still a really well put-together school project. On Harry Styles, Harry Styles shows he isn’t quite grown-up just yet.

Perhaps in his next outing, Styles might look past the love affairs that did him wrong, that broke him down, and sing about other things, too. He needn’t be careful with his heart—it’s undeniably interesting to hear Harry Styles sing about his breakups, and I would do it again. But there’s more than thwarted love out there in the world for a young man to explore. Harry Styles the album gives us modest hope that Harry Styles the artist will find all that too, someday. And, more important, make it his own.

[zevakritpel]

Hell-bent: Chapter 4- GET'CHA HEAD IN THE GAME

<Chapter 3       Chapter 5>

Fandom: Kuroko no Basuke

Pairing: Aokise, MomoRiko, Kagakuro, MuroMura, more???

u can find this on AO3 lol

Summary: Adult AU, Criminal Underworld AU. Where Kagami Taiga is a young heir suddenly targeted by 6 rather dangerous members of the criminal underworld (each with their own set of personal troubles), and Kuroko is a bodyguard with a dark past.

Warning: Violence, Strong language, a lil dark and angsty sometimes. Getting spicier ;^)

[Saturday. 12:49. Forgive Me ]

All good things must come to an end, as the smitten public in this café know all too well; they look on tearfully, sighing with collective disappointment when the dangerously good-looking pair finally take their leave. Though they depart now, perhaps the beauties will one day return to grace the shop once more with their presence...one can only hope.

"Th-thank you for your patronage! Please come again!!!"

Back out on the street, Momoi and Kise get ready to part ways.

"Geez, that Dai-chan...he actually took off," Momoi sighs, shaking her head apologetically. It's not like she hadn't been expecting this, but come on. At this rate, she'll have to leave it to Ki-chan, and though Momoi gets it, she's concerned the model may be too consumed with thoughts of Tetsu-kun and the game to give Dai-chan a proper 'challenge' (so to speak).

...Or not. One side glance at Kise's profile is enough to dispel most of Momoi's worries: yeah, that's a nice expression he's got there.

"Oh, I doubt he's gone far," the model mutters in an uncharacteristically dark tone, staring fixedly on something in the distance. After a pause, he snaps his gaze back momentarily to Momoi and flashes her one last farewell grin.

"Thanks for today, Momocchi. I'm sure we'll talk soon."

"Take care, Ki-chan!"

Momoi waves goodbye, then turns to start walking in the opposite direction.

A large part of her hopes that Ki-chan succeeds in coming through to Tetsu-kun tonight, but....well, realistically....

It takes her a solid half hour to reach her next destination, as she makes a point of dipping through back alleys and secret short cuts to get to the more unsavoury part of this cesspool of a city.

Finally, at the end of a long string of dilapidated buildings and deserted houses, lies an old, rundown Catholic church. Judging from the shattered stain glass windows, the vulgar graffiti splattered across the walls, and the layers of grime that have accumulated around the grounds, it would appear that this church hasn't been in use for a long, long time.

After a quick check of her surroundings (doesn't look like she's been followed), Momoi pushes past the heavy oak wood doors and enters the building.

The air inside is dusty and stale, as expected, the floor littered with dirt, cobwebs, and is...that a dirty condom?  Not to mention the rat that Momoi's pretty sure is crawling out by the long-unused altar...still, she's too struck with a wave of nostalgia to be particularly bothered.

Even all dark and abandoned, places like these always remind her of the old days, with Tetsu-kun and Dai-chan, when the three of them would sneak out and hide between the pews of the orphanage chapel a lifetime ago...

A small cough from the far left side  interrupts Momoi's sentimentality, a signal to the information broker that it's time for an update.

She takes a seat in the confessional booth, and as she does so, the screen between compartments slides open.

"Sakurai-kun. What an interesting rendez-vous point you chose. But did we have to talk through the confessional, or-"

"S-sorry. I didn't want to be followed so I... and, in case anyone sees...in any case I'm really sorr-"

"O-oh, no, no it's fine. So? What do you have for me?"

"Sorry. She ended up taking the bait, but before I could do anything, some third party group moved in and attacked."

Whoah whoah whoah.

What.

"Sor-...I mean, what's this?"

"I'M SORRY. I'm really really sorry."

"No, it's okay, Sakur-"

"-So sorry-"

"It's oka-"

"Sorry. I didn't plan ahead for that kind of situation."

"It's not your fault, you don't need to apolo-"

"SORRY. I DIDN'T CONTACT YOU EARLIER BECAUSE THE INCIDENT MADE ME PARANOID AND I WAITED TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T BEING FOLLOWED, SO I'M SORRY I AM WORTHLESS AND INCOMPETENT"

Having to deal with the likes of Aomine for about two decades has certainly helped Momoi develop a hardy patience, but she isn't sure she'll ever be advanced enough to properly handle the mess that is alias Sakurai Ryou.

"Sakurai-kun, you didn't do anything wrong. Is there anything else you can tell me about what happened?"

"Sorry. There was another guy with her, he looked kind of stupid. Got shot in the right shoulder."

"A subordinate?"

"Most likely."

"How's Aida, then?"

"They clipped her, but she was able to drive away in time."

"And the assailants, what did they look like?"

"They drove past in a black SUV, I couldn't get a proper look. I'm sorr-"

" You did a good job, I'll look into the rest of that later today and contact you after that. Thanks for your hard work!"

Momoi escapes before Sakurai takes the opportunity to squeeze another hundred apologies.

What a troubling development...

Could it be something to do with Muk-kun's news earlier this morning, or is it something else entirely....?

Whoever it is, how dare they get in the way of her fight with Aida Riko. Since Ki-chan's working hard tonight, Momoi must also step her game up.

Speaking of Ki-chan...Momoi wonders how Dai-chan is holding up...

[Saturday. 13:03. Just So We're Clear, That Is A Gun In My Pocket And I'm Not Happy To See You]

By the time Aomine realizes the warm weather is getting to him, he's already made it halfway home, with his shirt clinging to the sweaty skin of his back, and his head and throat suffering from sharp dehydration pains. Probably should have reconsidered walking home under this sun in a black shirt, but it's too late for regrets now.

For some reason, Aomine was too preoccupied to notice all this until now.

Luckily, an oasis in the form of a vending machine is close at hand. Aomine heads straight to it, rifling through his pants' pockets for loose change. He wants Aquarius, but what kind should he get...

Aomine slips the money through a slot, and presses the button for his desired sports drink, and...

Hm. Presses it again.

....one more time.

.................six more times, very rapidly.

Inhales deeply, then tries another button. Nothing.

Okay. If that's how things are going to be, then it's time to change tactics. Gripping either side of the vending machine, Aomine begins channeling his rapidly- growing rage through his hands. He gets in a ready stance, about to show this damned contraption exactly who it's dealing with.

However, before Aomine even has the chance to engage in battle, a hand suddenly reaches under his arm and makes a selection.

A bottle of mineral water immediately drops down from its holding place, and the difference in change rattles out: transaction complete.

".....................Goddamnit Kise.."

"Hey, Aominecchi~. Long time no see."

Ahh..

That voice...this is a hundred times worse than he imagined it would be.

Aomine turns around, dark blue eyes narrowed menacingly to glower at the real fucking problem beaming back at him.

"'Hey~' my ass. Do you wanna die? You'd better buy me my drink right now."

"Ehhhh?? That's what you have to say aft-...ah ! He walked away! Aoooomineeeecchiiii waiiit!!!"

There's a bench sitting under the shade of a bus stop some fifty meters away, and this is where Aomine waits, legs outstretched, for Kise to catch up.

There's really no chance of running away now, huh...

No non ono . What? It's not like that. It's ..not. Like. That.

Before Aomine has the chance to settle his thoughts, Kise is already bouncing back, equipped with a clear plastic bottle.

"Here!" the model chirps, tossing the drink into the air for Aomine to catch. He remains standing, siding himself next to the bench...close enough that Aomine can smell the faint scent of his cologne.

"Tch. Why'd you get me lemon flavour..."

"You left before telling me what you wanted!"

Aomine freezes. Hearing Kise say those words, even out of context and in that playful, pouty tone, is momentarily jarring, for reasons he doesn't fully want to understand. He recovers quickly by twisting the top off his blissfully cool bottle and drains half the contents in one go.

"Oh, you're drinking it anyways..."

"So?  What do you want."

The corners of Kise's mouth twitch, and he leans his shoulder against the metal post next to the bench before responding:

"....You were there earlier, right?"

Geh.

"This is the first time in years Aominecchi has come close to me, of course I'm going to take the opportunity to see you."

Ah fuck.

Aomine shifts, so that his body is facing slightly away from Kise, and flips the bottle in his hand nonchalantly.

"Ah, that? Don't misunderstand. It's because Satsuki told me-"

A silence ensues, long enough for Kise to move closer to Aomine, tilting his head to the side expectantly for the rest of the explanation.

"-Because Satsuki told me to do it............By the way, what's with the glasses? They look stupid?"

Nailed it.

"Oh, these?" Kise taps the red frames, golden eyes blinking innocently as he tries to adjust to the abrupt subject change.

"My manager told me to try and hide my face when I'm out during the day, otherwise the fangirls get too much-"

"UGH"

God, the earnest way he answered is annoying in itself, but more importantly: what, is he Midorima to seriously think that throwing on a pair of glasses counts as a disguise?

"I want my concern back..."

"Hmmm?! What's this, Aominecchi was worried about me?"

"Huh, who'd be concerned about a fucking idiot."

"sob.....Aominecchi..."

There's a sudden lightness in Aomine's chest, as if a weight has been pried off him. Though he'd rather die than admit it, he wonders if  perhaps this is relief from the knowledge that in spite of everything, Kise's stupid brightness hasn't dimmed out. Even if it's a false light, the familiarity of this banter alone is somehow ....comforting.

Carried away by this rush of this strange new feeling, the (more-or-less unemployed) fighter opens his mouth to speak...

"Kise-"

...only to be interrupted by the untimely buzzing of Kise's phone. Fucking classic.

"Ah sorry Aominecchi, can you hold that thought? I need to take this."

The model steps aside, casting an rueful look at Aomine as he raises the phone to his ear.

" Heyaaaaa P-chan <3.  It's so unusual for you to call me!!"

.............Who is he talking to?

Aomine looks away and swallows the rest of his sports drink, ignoring Kise as he chatters away into his phone. No, no, no, the false light is flashy and annoying, after all.

Hpmh.

"Ehhh? Right now? Well, if it's P-chan it's okay, but you'll have to take me to karaoke to make up for it! Ok ok, see you soon."

The model hangs up with a small sigh, then perks up again, raising two fingers in a V.

"Sorry, Aominecchi, looks like I have to go~. Let's catch up another time?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Bye."

Kise turns to go, and as he does so, the silver chain around his neck lifts up from the movement, and the cross at the end catches a flash of sunlight.

"Ao...minecchi?"

By the time his mind catches up to his body, which moved of its own accord, Aomine becomes painfully aware that he's gripping Kise's wrist.

Ahhh.......no going back now, huh.

[Saturday. 14:00. ..........]

"....................................-"

"Mi.....tobe?"

"!!!!............."

"AHaa aww hey...so it must have been you I heard calling out to me..."

"......................."

"Hey, hey, don't say that. This is nothing, I'm totally fin- *cough* - fine. Oooh that smarts..."

"................................"

"'You should've been there' ..?  Oiii. Riko gave you an important mission, right, so like, there's no way that's tru-"

"................."

"Mitobe..?"

"........"

"Yeah....me too."

[Saturday. 14:10. Obligatory Indirect Kiss Moment]

"Aaaaah, all that hard work today's made me hungry. Let's stop in here, Muro-chin."

Himuro isn't sure what part of curb stomping a couple of two-bit thugs, sleeping for another six hours, then dragging said thugs halfway across the city to go appliance shopping constitutes as 'hard work', but it's fine. At least that business is done and over with (the installation people are coming tomorrow to restore peace to the Araki safehouse once more).

He follows Murasakibara through the convenience store entrance, pretty worn out himself by the events of the past 24 hours; all he has to show for today's efforts are a massive bruise and a deep sense of dissatisfaction.

Well, not everything is bad; spending time with Atsushi outside like this is nice in its own way.

Murasakibara's fearsome stature attracts attention no matter where he goes, but he's especially eye-catching when in the proximity of snacks. It takes under a minute for the killer to burn through half the store, returning to Himuro already cradling an obscene amount of food in his right arm.

"Was it really alright that we left those two guys like that in the end... you know, you're too brutal, Atsushi" Himuro scolds, accepting the bag of potato chips Murasakibara is trying to place into his hands (what's this? He needs help?? There's actually a limit to how much food Atsushi can carry???) as they head towards the freezers.

"Ehhhhhhhh, isn't Muro-chin way more violent than me?" Murasakibara drawls, extracting four boxes of popsicles at once with his free hand.

In light of today's events, and the events of many a time in the past, Himuro finds himself unable to deny this; Atsushi makes a fair point.

At the cashier, they encounter a dead-looking employee that doesn't so much as flinch at Murasakibara's mountain of snacks. Himuro can't help but feel impressed by the youth, whose dull eyes have seen Too Much from working in convenience store retail.

Ten plastic bags later, and they're out the door again.

"So, about that...." Himuro starts, speaking over his shoulder as Murasakibara comes up behind him, rustling through his purchases to open a bag of candy.

"I did something unnecessary, right? It feels like my meeting with Haizaki Shougo somehow set him off..."

Murasakibara rips the wrapper off a lollipop with his teeth, sucks on the candy pensively for a moment before taking it out of his own mouth and slipping it between Himuro's unsuspecting lips.

"Mmmmm, I think that guy getting involved was pretty inevitable. Anyways, it's Kise-chin's problem now, so Muro-chin definitely shouldn't worry about it."

Strawberry flavour. Still warm from Atsushi's mouth- ah, no, focus, Himuro. Focus.

"Kise...oh, Ryouta. He's another one of you 'Miracles', yeah?"

"Mmmhmm. He'll probably be first coming after your Kagami Taiga, so if you want-"

A shadow crosses over Murasakibara's abruptly displeased face, and the veritable giant grabs Himuro's hand and begins to pull him into a quick pace away from the convenience store.

"Atsushi? What's wrong?"

Murasakibara checks his shoulder, then mutters:

"If we stay any longer, we're gonna run into someone reeeeally annoying. I'll tell Muro-chin everything, so let's just get out of here."

Himuro doesn't have a single complaint with this arrangement.

[Saturday. 14:24. Someone Reeeeally Annoying]

"Don't laugh, Takao!"

"Ahahaa I'm cr-..ahh, Shin-chan, I'm crying ahahhaaa. That thief just ... ahahhaa...to you of all people...and took your bag...do they know they fucking stole a stuffed mouse like.. what're they going to do with that? .... i can't.....owww my stomach hurts."

"Don't be so loud. And this is a serious problem, my life is in danger if I don't have my lucky item with me, this is no time to be laughing!"

"Aha, I know, I know. Let's stop in this store first, I'll call someone to deliver you a new taxidermy    mouse..... I can't believe I just said that out loud, I'm gonna pee my pants..."

"TAKAO!!!"

"Ooh, watch your step, Shin-chan, you almost walked right into that pothole. Jeez, you weren't kidding about the bad luck."

"I am not in the habit of 'kidding'"

"Haha ohhh Shin-chan."

[Saturday.15:01. Pure]

What's Riko supposed to do when she's hard-pressed for information on a large, mostly unknown enemy, but the person to whom she delegated the task of finding certain crucial facts is currently kneeling at Koganei's bedside, fingers intertwined with Koga's own as the two of them snooze together peacefully in spite of the urgency of the situation?

[Saturday. 18:33.  Resolve]

Kise shivers.

Carefully, so as not to rouse the peacefully-sleeping P from her slumbers, he stands up from the edge of the bed and checks the time: still a bit too early, huh?

The model sighs and looks down at the inside of his right arm; the place where Aomine had grabbed him to pull him back still burns with the memory of the touch.

In the end, the other man had just hurriedly scrawled a 7 digit phone number onto Kise's forearm and sauntered off with the flippant parting words: "I guess I can take one for the team and listen to you ugly cry after you fail tonight. See ya."

How very like Aominecchi, this brash, roundabout kindness. Kise had thought his original intention in approaching Aomine was to force him into acknowledging him, but now the model is not so sure. Rather than settling a score or being noticed, this is more like...

Kise presses his hand against his chest and takes a deep breath.

This feels good: whether it's playing with everyone again, this business with Kurokocchi, that business with Aominecchi, his modeling, his other jobs, even the lovely P-chan over here... there's a thrill here, a sense of life.

That's why he's not going to let anyone take this feeling away from him.

Not again.

[Saturday.19:11.  Jealousy Is An Ugly Thing, Dorothy]

Haizaki Shougo is in what some people might refer to as a 'bad mood."

He shakes his right hand out, flicking off some of the blood dripping from his scraped knuckles. Seems like the usual form of stress relief isn't working.

Meeting Atsushi's Ichimatsu doll has lead him to some pretty annoying information (...and speaking of which, as if that fucking one-eyed doll had the nerve to leave without putting up a proper fight? The fuck, so boring.) and now Haizaki has to take care of this shit all over again.

Isn't it embarrassing, the way the so-called 'Miracles' are all still repeating the same bullshit as when they were brats? Playing their shitty 'games' again, hyped up on a sense of superiority while hiding from how fucked up their lives really are...it's pathetic.

And then there's that fucking Ryooooouta.

Haizaki licks off some of the blood off his thumb, smiling a little in spite of himself.

There's no doubt in his mind that the new development has caused that bitch to get ahead of himself again.

If it isn't Haizaki's job to put him back in his place, then what is?

[Saturday. 19:25. Danger: Do Not Cross]              

"Uhhmm, Seijuro-kun...haha.. this is not.. what we agreed on.."  Client Xy stutters with an unpleasant laugh, openly agitated. He mops a bit of sweat off his forehead with the white handkerchief crumpled in his hand.

Akashi closes his right eye and regards the man in the seat across from him with a silent, piercing golden-orange gaze. His legs are crossed, and the only movement he makes is the tapping of a closed folding fan rhythmically against his knee.

Pitiable, how little it takes for Xy to start snapping under the pressure.

"I mean, really, Seijuro-kun, I thought the Akashi syndicate wasn't affiliated with the yakuza? If I'd known, I never would have...I have a hard time believing your father would-"

Akashi gives one final tap before holding the black fan out in his slender fingers in gesture.

"My father," he begins softly, with eerie temperance.

"No longer has any control over my business."

He does not elaborate, and Xy is at least wise enough to let that one go.

"It's just, n-no one told me you were going to get the Araki clan involved in this," he continues, trying to speak indignantly, which would be more convincing if he wasn't covered in nervous sweat.

"Is that why you sent me such a pleasant surprise last night?"

"W-what are you talking about?"

"Oh? Perhaps your men were the ones from last Thursday, my mistake. It is difficult for me to keep track of all the disobedience."

This is Akashi's idea of a joke: he doesn't make mistakes, and it's not difficult for him to keep track of anything, because he is perfect.

"Now l-listen, I don't know what you're insinuating, but if it's the case that others have been retaliating, maybe you shouldn't be so full of yours-EEP"

Xy's blathering is cut off quite suddenly as Akashi flicks his fan open, revealing it to be an ornate tessen.

"Do you understand, Mr. Xy, that the only reason you are still breathing is because I am gracious enough to allow it? You are useful to me, but not so useful that I will tolerate any more insolence from you or anyone else."

It's unclear whether Akashi's surprise weapon or his unyielding glare is more threatening. Either way, Xy looks like he's about to pass out.

"Though it may not be to your liking, I believe you will find I am complying with every detail of our arrangement. Should you test me, or question my methods again, I will not show mercy a second time."

Mercy isn't exactly the right word, and Client Xy gets that. He really does. Akashi Seijuro has a role for him to play, and he's in too deep to back out now, for fear of ending up having to choose between dying in the ocean or the mountains. Or whatever happened to the 'pleasant surprise' he actually did send out to Akashi the other day.

Fucking kids these days are horrifying.

Naturally, Xy stumbles out of Akashi's residence as fast as his legs, jellied from fear, can carry him, leaving Akashi alone in this cold empty home once more.

After sitting in silence for a couple minutes, Akashi blinks several times and pulls out a shogi board from the living room table.

[Saturday. 20:07. A Date...???]

"Kagami-kun," Kuroko begins, regarding the heir's handstand pushup routine with an inscrutable look in his eyes. The consequent reveal of chiseled abdominal muscles from gravity pulling Kagami's black shirt down is not going unnoticed.

How troublesome.

"Not that I am complaining, but you have not expressed a single wish to go outside today."

"Yeah, so?" Kagami grunts, tucking his right hand against his back and balancing his whole weight on the left. A bead of sweat rolls down his temple.

"Not like I have anything to do out there, anyways."

"Is that so? You were pretty adamant about being 'freed'. Are you sure there is no one you would like to visit, at all?  I can always make arrangements..."

"Who would I even visit?" the heir mutters, slowly returning his feet to solid ground, and straightening himself back up to a standing position. His cheeks are still a little red from all the blood rushing to his face.

"I've only been living here for a couple of months, it's not like I really know anyone besides Aida's men... and you, I guess."

"...................."

".....w....why are you looking at me like that?"

"How sad. That the young master is unable to make any frien-"

"Sh-shut up, Kuroko!"

Oh dear. Teasing Kagami is far too easy. Truly, the young heir is a pleasant surprise in many ways.

"Then, did you want to go out anyways?"

"Huh?"

Kuroko gestures to the door with his thumb.

"That burger place we went to yesterday....I liked the vanilla shakes."

Taiga stares down at Kuroko for a few moments with his double-brows furrowed, as if processing the bodyguard's words, then grins.

"Fuck yeah, let's go."

It's almost certainly too dangerous to be wandering about at night in these trying times (Kuroko has no doubt at least one of the main players will make their move tonight), but the bodyguard finds that, aside from the initial objective of wanting to bait the enemy, he there's also these knew sentiments coming up: Taiga clearly doesn't have it easy, but he's so strong-willed and bright that Kuroko can't help but want to see him shine brighter.

His determination is now absolute: Kagami Taiga will be protected, at any cost. This does not impede Kuroko's initial objective; rather, it serves to strengthen his will with no regrets.

"Yes, let's go."

[Saturday. 20:10. Hello?]

"I'm going on ahead," Kagami calls over his shoulder, shoving his hands into his pockets as he heads towards the elevators. He presses the down button and waits, feeling strangely excited.

Honestly, he had thought that this personal bodyguard bullshit was just Aida making him suffer, and even though Kuroko is still infuriating and a little spooky, Kagami finds himself thinking it might not be such a bad arrangement after all. He's interesting, to say the least. And it's true, Kagami hasn't spoken one on one with people outside Aida's circle lately, so it's ...well. Fun.

The light above the elevator lights up with a PING, and Kagami steps forward as the doors slide open.

But he can't move.

Every nerve in his body tenses up, as if to brace itself from the sensation of overwhelming bloodlust suddenly aimed directly at him. Something like a glint of gold flashes by him, and the sensation fades just as quickly as it had appeared.

Heart pounding in his chest, Kagami looks around, alarmed, but is only surrounded by empty halls.

The elevator doors close shut.

Kagami's trained ears hear nothing save for the sound of his own breathing. And yet, he's sure there was something...someone there.

What the hell is this? Could it be-

"Kuroko-?"

"Guess again <3"

Notes from AO3: i hope one day Momoi and Kise return to that coffee shop with Himuro, thus completing the trifecta of KNB in-universe beauty queens. Tho I'm not sure it's safe for the innocent public if that trio ever gets together...

naturally, by the time this ever happens, Ahomine will have riko to join him in jealously watching from the safe distance of the noodle shop. such is the fate of irritable possessive people whose love interests are far too popular and carefree.

also RIP muro and midorima in every bit i write for them, ever lol sorry you two i always make you suffer

THANKS AGAIN FOR READING I HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND WILL CONTINUE READING THIS SILLY STORY OF MINE

[shametheshadow]

Okay so I finally finished Ready Player One. Got a little eh in the middle with the romance and sometimes a little too openly expositiony with some things but I otherwise loved it. I can definitely see why it's been considered the nerd bible. Between the references, the action packed and imaginative scenes, the subtle pushes at the darker sides of nerd culture (enough to make you feel a little uncomfortable but not open enough to feel like you -a nerd- were being lectured), and the inclusiveness that didnt feel forced... It definitely made for a good read. It's an old book by now but spoiler if you want to read it still. I cant use the read more on my phone so here's just a warning. You had an abysmally poor fat kid as the protagonist (even when he gets fit he still becomes bald and eyebrowless), a curvy "rubenesque" gal with a large birth mark on her face who word vomits when anxious, an african american lesbian who also rocks her curves using a caucasian male avatar, and two japanese otakus who have never met irl but are considered brothers in the OASIS. Like... I know I'm one of the biggest skeptics when it comes to so-called diversity in media, but this book does it right. It slips it in there and doesnt make a huge deal about anything. It doesnt hold up this huge sign that shouts "HEY! Look at our african american character and our female love interest who needs no man!" it just lets the story happen and the characters do their thing so you can judge them on their own merit and personality. Besides Wade, you dont even know the identities of the other four of the High Five till near the end. It perfectly uses the anonymity of the internet to it's greatest advantage. And on a last note of diversity, the two god like beings of the book Ogden and Halliday are examples of how introversion and extroversion are required to make great things... And Halliday, creator of this entire virtual world, is even believed to be on the autism spectrum. And as I said before, at no point do you feel like you are being lectured to go outside and play or that someone is telling you that your interests are wrong. Instead it speaks as a voice of experience, showing you an outsider perspective on the lives of unhealthy nerd culture in ways like Wade eventually only ever wearing two haptic suits that he wears in rotation and shaving off all of his body hair... Or the "missing million" where the hikikomori epidemic in Japan is driven to the extreme. It gives the main character the wealth and power to do whatever they want just for the very uber nerd Wade idolized to give a gentle reminder in his last message that reality matters more than escapism in something that isnt real. Then there are the references. 80's and even some late 70's, there was so much crammed into every page that I, as a 90's child, could not hope to understand every one even with my love for older media. But that's okay. At no point did I feel lost. Instead I felt... A lot of Wade did I think. There is a reverence for the 80's. For Wade it was because the 80's came to represent his entire life, everything that his hopes, dreams, and fantasies were built on because Halliday was an 80's kid who built the OASIS and filled it with an easter egg hunt dripping in nostalgia. For me, it's similar. The 80's was the basis for everything I loved in the 90's. From the music to the fashion to gaming, and most of our greatest nerdy pop culture icons wouldnt have existed without the groundwork being laid in the late 70's and 80's. 90's kids are marked as some of the first with widespread access to computers and the internet at childhood, but what would that be without the creation of games like pacman or programming prodigies like Wozniak. It wasnt something I considered much before, but it definitely made me feel something to read a book all about the 80's. Not exactly nostalgia but kind of parallel to it. I feel like the 80's is often overshadowed by the 90's. So yeah... This book is awesome. I really enjoy the Steve Jobs/Wozniak duo of Ogden and Halliday. I think it showed off the positives of their very different characters very well. I loved to hate the Sixxers. I loved all of the High Five (I do wish we got more of the Daisho guys though. The part where Daito was actually murdered had me going "Oh shit" outloud) especially Aech whose name I really like. I did want a little bit of payback to Ir0k and I wanted to know more of what happened afterwards, but overall I'd say that by the end I was pretty happy. I did make the mistake of purchasing the movie and watching that though... It made me a mixture of sad, upset, and disappointed. You would think with Spielberg behind the wheel it would nail all of the right buttons but it... It just doesnt. Like... What was up with the bug eyed, elfish avatars? Except for Aech, most of the high five are just more idealized versions of themselves. Totally human with some of their less personally desired traits. But then like Aech... Wth... You took an average white dude with a cheshire smile and turned him into a hulking grey beast. Totally lessens the impact when discovering that he is a black woman by already having her avatar be to unrealistic. And why is Art3mis's avatar given a more athletic gymnast build? One of the body types that Wade states in the book is commonly used by most people, which is why her more curvy figure is unique and interesting. Her entire avatar is supposed to be more realistic to herself, something that captures his attention from the beginning. He can imagine it's what she looks like because she doesnt hide those features like most everyone does. The only thing she really changes is her birthmark. And do we really need to give her one of the best moments Wade has in the book just to make it seem like she has more power in the narrative? Art3mis is great because at no point does she really need Wade's help or rescue until the very end when the gate requires 3 people. She figures out the first key by herself first and is just unlucky enough to not be skilled at one particular game in a million. Even without Wade's suggestion at switching to play the other side, she would have won eventually. She was clever enough to realize that she could have two plays by waiting till midnight and was practicing in every spare moment. And even after she and Wade start seeing one another, it is Wade who is infatuated beyond reason and her who tries to keep her head in the game and feet grounded in reality. She finds and obtains the second key without any help at all. It was Art3mis who knows everything about Tempest, one of the final hurdles Wade needs to overcome, including the bug that gives you 40 extra lives when Wade starts with only one (and he eats through the extras fast). She doesnt need help to be an awesome female character. Wade has skills, I wont take that from him, but he gets by mostly on a lack of self preservation, paranoia, and luck ex machina. If it werent for him getting the second clue wrong and going to the entirely wrong planet, then wandering a different direction out and stumbling upon an arcade machine that nobody has ever found before (despite claiming that the world was picked over by every Gunter ever) and then utilizing his skills in pacman to win a mysterious quarter that just so happens to grant him an extra life after everyone else is vaporized in the final battle just outside the third gate... He never would have won. In that entire scenario his skill is utilized once. Arguably his skills only really come into play during the actual challenges for the keys and the gates. Every other moment actually focused on is mostly him stumbling around either as a paranoid mess or obsessive and depressed. Even with the first key, it's only by chance that during his Latin class he selectively hears the right words to set his brain into motion that takes him from Schoolhouse Rock to D&D to omg the key is hidden on the same planet that has every school! Granted he put in the time to compile all the experience and knowledge needed to connect those dots, but it was still luck that laid the dots out to be connected. I think I've ranted enough though. Originally this was going to most be, "Man, I loved this book!" and "Boy, I hated the movie..." but it got away from me as it usually does.

[joshuabradleyn]

Ready Player One: 10 Tech Hacks to Lose Weight and Level Up Your Life

“Taaaaaaaaake onnnnnnnn me,

Taaaaaaaake meeeeee on!

I’ll beeeeeeee goonnnnnnne,

In a day or TWOOOOOOO!”

What the hell does that mean? Who cares!

All I know is that I can’t get a-ha’s “Take on Me” out of my head. It’s been there ever since the trailer dropped for the nerdy nostalgia-bomb that is Steven Spielberg’s “Ready Player One,” a blockbuster movie out now, based on the best-selling book of the same name:

As a child of the Oregon Trail generation[1], I thoroughly enjoyed all of the pop culture and nerd references throughout the novel and could certainly relate to the main character Wade Watts, an overweight awkward teenager who loves 80’s pop culture and escapes a crappy existence by spending most of his time in virtual worlds.

It had me thinking deeply about how technology is creeping into every aspect of our lives, in both good ways and bad.

We can’t not check our email every 3 seconds. We can’t stop watching Netflix. We can’t stop scrolling through photos on Instagram. We can’t sit through a conversation with a person in front of us without habitually checking our phone every time it buzzes.

And then we all wonder why we are too busy, distracted, unhealthy, unhappy, and can’t get our shit together.

These days, it’s becoming more and more commonplace to use technology for convenience and quick bouts of entertainment and happiness to shield us from the reality that there are parts of our lives or our health we’re unhappy with.

In Ready Player One, we get a very plausible look into a dystopian future where those societal trends have continued: technology gets better and more convenient, and people spend more and more time escaping into more exciting virtual lives online.

And society has nearly collapsed as a result.

Although this book is partly a cautionary tale about where we’re heading if we don’t change our behavior, it’s also a charming Hero’s Journey, deep fried in neon-tinted nostalgia, that I couldn’t put down.

As a gamer who thinks about life like a game (and even wrote a book about this very idea), every page of this book had me grinning from ear to ear.

Today I want to quickly discuss the pitfalls of technology and then share my 10 favorite ways to use technology to get ourselves to actually do the stuff that matters every day.

This is Nerd Fitness, after all.

So…ready, player one?

Why Ready Player ONe Matters

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology.

Technology has allowed me to create Nerd Fitness and deliver this article to you. It’s changed my life decidedly for the better and made literally everything easier.

The problem comes when technology gets TOO damn good. Video games are getting TOO well designed and addicting. TV shows and the delivery of those shows is so well done that you can lose an entire Saturday to 10 episodes in a row of Stranger Things before you realize it. Social media can be TOO pervasive, causing us to cast aside real life friendships and deep conversation in instead spend our time virtually – and superficially – connecting with people.

We trade likes and thumbs up in this unwritten but very real economy of fluffing each other’s egos.

If you’ve read any of the recent studies on this stuff, you know that social media is actually making us unhappier and more anxious[2], and yet we can’t get ourselves to stop seeking “just another hit.”

It’s getting easier and easier to say “one more level” or “I’ll just check Instagram quickly” and 10-15 minutes of your life is lost in a black hole of junk-food style entertainment.

And this causes us to forgo what is ACTUALLY important in our lives: Eating healthy. Exercising regularly. Practicing self-care. Getting enough sleep. Connecting with people in real life. [3]

Which brings me back to Ready Player One.

If you haven’t read the book or don’t plan on seeing the movie, how did you end up on Nerd Fitness allow me to quickly explain the premise:

The year is 2045, and technology has advanced dramatically while the rest of society has devolved. Our main character Wade Watts is an overweight, awkward high school senior with little money to his name.

Every day, Wade puts on a virtual reality headset to plug into The OASIS, a MMOSG (massively multiplayer online simulation game) – think Second Life or World of Warcraft on steroids. OASIS has become so successful that its something pretty much everybody on the planet now uses.

In the OASIS, Wade attends school, hangs out with friends, and gets to create this alternate life for himself. Depending on how much in-game currency you have, you can visit various worlds, level up your character by completing quests, and make a life for yourself.

For most people, life in the OASIS kicks the crap out of their miserable real life, which means they use this second life as an escape from the harsh reality. And the more time they spend in game, the more they neglect their real-life health happiness, which further perpetuates a negative downward spiral.

So how does one stop letting the Matrix run their lives and instead take control back?

Let’s see what Wade did.

Wade Gets in Shape to Level Up His Life

Wade’s in a not-so-great place.

He lives in isolation, is very unhappy with his physical appearance, struggles socially, and chooses to withdraw more and more into an anonymous character online that’s much more exciting than his real world counterpart.

This is already happening today, with people losing their jobs, relationships, families, and even their lives due to online gaming or technology addictions.

Fortunately, Wade did something that was so freaking smart and clever that gets the 100% Nerd FItness Stamp of Approval.

[Note to self: buy stamp of approval.]

At a turning point in the story, Wade makes a decision that probably seemed small at the time but forever altered his life’s path. He turned on the voluntary Fitness Lockout protocol of the OASIS. This meant that every day, Wade had his biometrics tracked, and rigged his system so that he was locked out of using the OASIS until he got enough physical activity every day.

What this means: Wade used technology to make his life decidedly better instead of making it worse. He was so addicted to using the OASIS that he needed to be in there. Which meant if he wanted to play, he had only ONE path to connection:

Doing the damn exercise!

Unsurprisingly, this changed Wade’s negative downward spiral into a positive virtuous cycle. Getting all that exercise started to make him feel better about himself and gave him more energy. He got hooked on how he felt after exercise and how much more pride he felt looking in the mirror. In other words, it felt like he had regained control, and this caused him to want to continue to chase that feeling.

Wade was smart enough to build a system that forced himself to do what was best for him, and stuck with it long enough until that activity because his new default behavior.

Depending on where you’re at in your fitness journey, this might sound like a pipe dream. However, I can tell you that there’s one common thread in every one of our success stories – whether it’s single moms or opera-singing IT professionals, they all say the same thing:

“I don’t know how it happened, but somehow…I now actually look forward to exercising.”

Here’s how you can be like Wade.

10 Ways to Make Technology Work For You

I don’t believe technology is inherently good or bad.

It’s a tool that can be used to improve or harm our lives. Oftentimes, a little bit is good, a lot is detrimental.

Inspired by Ready Player One, I wanted to go through some ways I’ve implemented technological hurdles in my life to actually make my life LESS convenient. I’m using it to keep me from devolving too far down rabbit holes of gaming, Netflix, and instead just do the damn things I need to do every day to make my life better.

Here are my favorite examples:

1) I WANT TO EXERCISE MORE AND WATCH LESS NETFLIX:

Although we can’t do EXACTLY what Wade did in Ready Player One, we can emulate it pretty closely. For example, give your spouse/friend/roommate/coworker your login credentials to Netflix/Hulu/whatever. Have them change the password and not tell you.

Only after you do the thing you’ve agreed to do that day (send them a photo of you at the gym) will they give you the password.

2) I CAN’T GET MYSELF TO GO TO THE GYM ENOUGH:

Do temptation bundling. Download your favorite audiobook or your favorite shows on Netflix. ONLY allow yourself to watch/listen to these while you’re walking on a treadmill at the gym or exercising.

How to do this? Download the shows to your iPad. Next time you to go to gym, ask the general manager to set the password on your iPad so that he’s the only one that can unlock it. If you want to watch the show, they’ll have to let you in!

3) I WANT TO SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

I know there’s a big movement to #deleteFacebook right now, but we use Facebook to connect with members of the community and our products and services. But I know everytime I go to Facebook for work reasons, I end up scrolling through my newsfeed for 10-15 min and I get VERY little out of it.

So I use tech to my advantage. In addition to deleting social media off my phone, I turned off my newsfeed. If you use Google Chrome, install newsfeed eradicator. Now my time spent on Facebook is minimal, the distraction is gone, and I can still connect with people when it fits my life. This is what I see when I sign into Facebook:

BORING. I might as well get back to work!

My friend Sol has given his facebook password to his girlfriend and makes sure he isn’t logged in on any of his computers. So he only uses it when it fits into his schedule. There’s no compulsive checking during the day.

4) I CAN’T GET MYSELF TO PLAY FEWER VIDEO GAMES:

Be your own parent! I have installed parental controls on my Nintendo Switch and PS4. It locks the system during certain hours, or I can limit myself to playing only during a certain number of hours. When you’re in the right mindset, install these controls and have somebody else set your passwords so you can’t just turn it off.

Stop relying on willpower – these games are too damn good. I’m currently hooked on Assassin’s Creed: Origins and the struggle is real. I imagine if I even took one hit of Fortnite I’d be mainlining battle royales all the way to rehab by next Tuesday.

5) I WANT TO WAKE UP EARLIER:

Hat tip to my friend Thomas Frank on this one. Schedule a really embarrassing tweet/photo to publish 5 min after you need to wake up, and put your phone across the room. You have to wake up, walk across the room, and stop the scheduled tweet from sending. WAYYYY more effective than an alarm clock you can just snooze!

6) I WANT TO STOP EATING FAST FOOD:

Leave your ATM debit card at home, and only bring a credit card with you to work, preferably one that you share with your spouse. Have them receive an email notification for every time the card is used. And if it is used at a fast food restaurant, they’ll donate $50 you gave them to a cause you hate.

7) I CAN’T GET MY KIDS TO DO THEIR CHORES: 

Be like this awesome mom:

8) I WANT TO MOVE MORE EVERY DAY:

Get yourself a cheap fitbit (I have a Flex 2 and LOVE it for sleep tracking purposes, but also interesting to see my step count). Take somebody you trust, and friend them on Fitbit’s platform. Then, agree to an amount of steps you need to take every day before you can watch TV, play video games, etc. If you don’t reach said steps before you slack off for the day, they will post a super embarrassing photo that you’ve sent them on social media.

9) I WANT TO COOK HEALTHIER MEALS:

Throw all of the junk food out of your house. Instead of using Amazon Prime to just deliver you useless crap you don’t need, have it set to auto-deliver you fresh groceries or meal kits regularly. Use technology and convenience to your advantage and make the most convenient option the healthiest one. Once you eliminate fast food, junk food, and crap you don’t need to buy, you can increase your food budget to compensate for the increased of convenience here.

You can also set up a mission with friends where you have to batch cook your meals on Sunday (how to batch cook here). If you don’t cook your meals on Sunday, no Netflix that week (your friend would have the password), and vice versa. Diabolical. Effective.

10) I LOOK AT MY DAMN PHONE TOO MUCH:

Change your phone to greyscale. Suddenly everything is way less vibrant and fun and the phone starts to lose its appeal. Turn on parental controls on your phone, have somebody else set your parental lock password, and delete all unnecessary apps from your phone – email, social media, YouTube, etc. Tough to get distracted by a device that doesn’t have anything fun to do on it, right?

Instead, have a real life conversation, even with a stranger! Read a damn book!

Maybe Ready Player One! Maybe THIS one 🙂

Or if you’re looking for some free literature to help change your life, you can join The NF Rebellion and download a plethora (I don’t get to use that word enough) of free ebooks as our way of welcoming you to our community!

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Use Technology to Change Your Default Behavior

We’re creatures of habit, and products of our environment. If we’re not intentional with our time, our default behavior becomes:

Netflix and ice cream after work instead of hitting the gym.

Gaming late into the night instead of getting quality sleep.

Fast food instead of taking the time to batch-cook our meals for the week.

When we don’t take control, we give that control subconsciously to what’s most convenient. And technology will gladly take that control from you, because every company’s stock price and profit margin depend on it.

These are companies with tens of thousands of employees, scientists, psychologists, and billions of dollars of research at their disposal and their only goal is to get more of your attention/time/focus/money.

Sure, you can lament the fact that you don’t have enough willpower or motivation or whatever to avoid all of these temptations to do the boring, challenging activity that will dramatically improve your life in the long term.

You can EITHER:

Beat yourself up for what you THINK you should be doing but can’t.

Accept that this is reality, and that you need to stop relying on yourself and instead start relying on systems.

I mean this in a good way, but I gave up on myself a long time ago, and it was the best decision I ever made. Because games and social media and TV are too enjoyable! So I don’t even give myself the option to get tempted by this stuff by using technology to my benefit.

So be more like Wade Watts and build systems in your life and use the Matrix to your advantage.

YOUR TURN:

Which tech hack is your favorite for getting you to make healthier decisions daily?

Do you have a strategy that you’ve put in place to level up your own life?

Share them in the comments below and help your fellow nerds out!

And then go read/see Ready Player One 🙂

-Steve

###

photo credit: Profound Whatever 8-bit Basement, jjackowski, Safety Protocols Disabled, JD Hancock Wocka Wocka Wocka!,

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

People who grew up without social media, who had their first interaction with computers be in computer labs at school playing Oregon Trail: The Oregon Trail Generation

Social Media is making us more anxious: study

I’m a big fan of Cal Newport’s thoughts in this space in his fantastic book, Deep Work.

https://ift.tt/2GJeAJA

[almajonesnjna]

Ready Player One: 10 Tech Hacks to Lose Weight and Level Up Your Life

“Taaaaaaaaake onnnnnnnn me,

Taaaaaaaake meeeeee on!

I’ll beeeeeeee goonnnnnnne,

In a day or TWOOOOOOO!”

What the hell does that mean? Who cares!

All I know is that I can’t get a-ha’s “Take on Me” out of my head. It’s been there ever since the trailer dropped for the nerdy nostalgia-bomb that is Steven Spielberg’s “Ready Player One,” a blockbuster movie out now, based on the best-selling book of the same name:

As a child of the Oregon Trail generation[1], I thoroughly enjoyed all of the pop culture and nerd references throughout the novel and could certainly relate to the main character Wade Watts, an overweight awkward teenager who loves 80’s pop culture and escapes a crappy existence by spending most of his time in virtual worlds.

It had me thinking deeply about how technology is creeping into every aspect of our lives, in both good ways and bad.

We can’t not check our email every 3 seconds. We can’t stop watching Netflix. We can’t stop scrolling through photos on Instagram. We can’t sit through a conversation with a person in front of us without habitually checking our phone every time it buzzes.

And then we all wonder why we are too busy, distracted, unhealthy, unhappy, and can’t get our shit together.

These days, it’s becoming more and more commonplace to use technology for convenience and quick bouts of entertainment and happiness to shield us from the reality that there are parts of our lives or our health we’re unhappy with.

In Ready Player One, we get a very plausible look into a dystopian future where those societal trends have continued: technology gets better and more convenient, and people spend more and more time escaping into more exciting virtual lives online.

And society has nearly collapsed as a result.

Although this book is partly a cautionary tale about where we’re heading if we don’t change our behavior, it’s also a charming Hero’s Journey, deep fried in neon-tinted nostalgia, that I couldn’t put down.

As a gamer who thinks about life like a game (and even wrote a book about this very idea), every page of this book had me grinning from ear to ear.

Today I want to quickly discuss the pitfalls of technology and then share my 10 favorite ways to use technology to get ourselves to actually do the stuff that matters every day.

This is Nerd Fitness, after all.

So…ready, player one?

Why Ready Player ONe Matters

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology.

Technology has allowed me to create Nerd Fitness and deliver this article to you. It’s changed my life decidedly for the better and made literally everything easier.

The problem comes when technology gets TOO damn good. Video games are getting TOO well designed and addicting. TV shows and the delivery of those shows is so well done that you can lose an entire Saturday to 10 episodes in a row of Stranger Things before you realize it. Social media can be TOO pervasive, causing us to cast aside real life friendships and deep conversation in instead spend our time virtually – and superficially – connecting with people.

We trade likes and thumbs up in this unwritten but very real economy of fluffing each other’s egos.

If you’ve read any of the recent studies on this stuff, you know that social media is actually making us unhappier and more anxious[2], and yet we can’t get ourselves to stop seeking “just another hit.”

It’s getting easier and easier to say “one more level” or “I’ll just check Instagram quickly” and 10-15 minutes of your life is lost in a black hole of junk-food style entertainment.

And this causes us to forgo what is ACTUALLY important in our lives: Eating healthy. Exercising regularly. Practicing self-care. Getting enough sleep. Connecting with people in real life. [3]

Which brings me back to Ready Player One.

If you haven’t read the book or don’t plan on seeing the movie, how did you end up on Nerd Fitness allow me to quickly explain the premise:

The year is 2045, and technology has advanced dramatically while the rest of society has devolved. Our main character Wade Watts is an overweight, awkward high school senior with little money to his name.

Every day, Wade puts on a virtual reality headset to plug into The OASIS, a MMOSG (massively multiplayer online simulation game) – think Second Life or World of Warcraft on steroids. OASIS has become so successful that its something pretty much everybody on the planet now uses.

In the OASIS, Wade attends school, hangs out with friends, and gets to create this alternate life for himself. Depending on how much in-game currency you have, you can visit various worlds, level up your character by completing quests, and make a life for yourself.

For most people, life in the OASIS kicks the crap out of their miserable real life, which means they use this second life as an escape from the harsh reality. And the more time they spend in game, the more they neglect their real-life health happiness, which further perpetuates a negative downward spiral.

So how does one stop letting the Matrix run their lives and instead take control back?

Let’s see what Wade did.

Wade Gets in Shape to Level Up His Life

Wade’s in a not-so-great place.

He lives in isolation, is very unhappy with his physical appearance, struggles socially, and chooses to withdraw more and more into an anonymous character online that’s much more exciting than his real world counterpart.

This is already happening today, with people losing their jobs, relationships, families, and even their lives due to online gaming or technology addictions.

Fortunately, Wade did something that was so freaking smart and clever that gets the 100% Nerd FItness Stamp of Approval.

[Note to self: buy stamp of approval.]

At a turning point in the story, Wade makes a decision that probably seemed small at the time but forever altered his life’s path. He turned on the voluntary Fitness Lockout protocol of the OASIS. This meant that every day, Wade had his biometrics tracked, and rigged his system so that he was locked out of using the OASIS until he got enough physical activity every day.

What this means: Wade used technology to make his life decidedly better instead of making it worse. He was so addicted to using the OASIS that he needed to be in there. Which meant if he wanted to play, he had only ONE path to connection:

Doing the damn exercise!

Unsurprisingly, this changed Wade’s negative downward spiral into a positive virtuous cycle. Getting all that exercise started to make him feel better about himself and gave him more energy. He got hooked on how he felt after exercise and how much more pride he felt looking in the mirror. In other words, it felt like he had regained control, and this caused him to want to continue to chase that feeling.

Wade was smart enough to build a system that forced himself to do what was best for him, and stuck with it long enough until that activity because his new default behavior.

Depending on where you’re at in your fitness journey, this might sound like a pipe dream. However, I can tell you that there’s one common thread in every one of our success stories – whether it’s single moms or opera-singing IT professionals, they all say the same thing:

“I don’t know how it happened, but somehow…I now actually look forward to exercising.”

Here’s how you can be like Wade.

10 Ways to Make Technology Work For You

I don’t believe technology is inherently good or bad.

It’s a tool that can be used to improve or harm our lives. Oftentimes, a little bit is good, a lot is detrimental.

Inspired by Ready Player One, I wanted to go through some ways I’ve implemented technological hurdles in my life to actually make my life LESS convenient. I’m using it to keep me from devolving too far down rabbit holes of gaming, Netflix, and instead just do the damn things I need to do every day to make my life better.

Here are my favorite examples:

1) I WANT TO EXERCISE MORE AND WATCH LESS NETFLIX:

Although we can’t do EXACTLY what Wade did in Ready Player One, we can emulate it pretty closely. For example, give your spouse/friend/roommate/coworker your login credentials to Netflix/Hulu/whatever. Have them change the password and not tell you.

Only after you do the thing you’ve agreed to do that day (send them a photo of you at the gym) will they give you the password.

2) I CAN’T GET MYSELF TO GO TO THE GYM ENOUGH:

Do temptation bundling. Download your favorite audiobook or your favorite shows on Netflix. ONLY allow yourself to watch/listen to these while you’re walking on a treadmill at the gym or exercising.

How to do this? Download the shows to your iPad. Next time you to go to gym, ask the general manager to set the password on your iPad so that he’s the only one that can unlock it. If you want to watch the show, they’ll have to let you in!

3) I WANT TO SPEND LESS TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

I know there’s a big movement to #deleteFacebook right now, but we use Facebook to connect with members of the community and our products and services. But I know everytime I go to Facebook for work reasons, I end up scrolling through my newsfeed for 10-15 min and I get VERY little out of it.

So I use tech to my advantage. In addition to deleting social media off my phone, I turned off my newsfeed. If you use Google Chrome, install newsfeed eradicator. Now my time spent on Facebook is minimal, the distraction is gone, and I can still connect with people when it fits my life. This is what I see when I sign into Facebook:

BORING. I might as well get back to work!

My friend Sol has given his facebook password to his girlfriend and makes sure he isn’t logged in on any of his computers. So he only uses it when it fits into his schedule. There’s no compulsive checking during the day.

4) I CAN’T GET MYSELF TO PLAY FEWER VIDEO GAMES:

Be your own parent! I have installed parental controls on my Nintendo Switch and PS4. It locks the system during certain hours, or I can limit myself to playing only during a certain number of hours. When you’re in the right mindset, install these controls and have somebody else set your passwords so you can’t just turn it off.

Stop relying on willpower – these games are too damn good. I’m currently hooked on Assassin’s Creed: Origins and the struggle is real. I imagine if I even took one hit of Fortnite I’d be mainlining battle royales all the way to rehab by next Tuesday.

5) I WANT TO WAKE UP EARLIER:

Hat tip to my friend Thomas Frank on this one. Schedule a really embarrassing tweet/photo to publish 5 min after you need to wake up, and put your phone across the room. You have to wake up, walk across the room, and stop the scheduled tweet from sending. WAYYYY more effective than an alarm clock you can just snooze!

6) I WANT TO STOP EATING FAST FOOD:

Leave your ATM debit card at home, and only bring a credit card with you to work, preferably one that you share with your spouse. Have them receive an email notification for every time the card is used. And if it is used at a fast food restaurant, they’ll donate $50 you gave them to a cause you hate.

7) I CAN’T GET MY KIDS TO DO THEIR CHORES: 

Be like this awesome mom:

8) I WANT TO MOVE MORE EVERY DAY:

Get yourself a cheap fitbit (I have a Flex 2 and LOVE it for sleep tracking purposes, but also interesting to see my step count). Take somebody you trust, and friend them on Fitbit’s platform. Then, agree to an amount of steps you need to take every day before you can watch TV, play video games, etc. If you don’t reach said steps before you slack off for the day, they will post a super embarrassing photo that you’ve sent them on social media.

9) I WANT TO COOK HEALTHIER MEALS:

Throw all of the junk food out of your house. Instead of using Amazon Prime to just deliver you useless crap you don’t need, have it set to auto-deliver you fresh groceries or meal kits regularly. Use technology and convenience to your advantage and make the most convenient option the healthiest one. Once you eliminate fast food, junk food, and crap you don’t need to buy, you can increase your food budget to compensate for the increased of convenience here.

You can also set up a mission with friends where you have to batch cook your meals on Sunday (how to batch cook here). If you don’t cook your meals on Sunday, no Netflix that week (your friend would have the password), and vice versa. Diabolical. Effective.

10) I LOOK AT MY DAMN PHONE TOO MUCH:

Change your phone to greyscale. Suddenly everything is way less vibrant and fun and the phone starts to lose its appeal. Turn on parental controls on your phone, have somebody else set your parental lock password, and delete all unnecessary apps from your phone – email, social media, YouTube, etc. Tough to get distracted by a device that doesn’t have anything fun to do on it, right?

Instead, have a real life conversation, even with a stranger! Read a damn book!

Maybe Ready Player One! Maybe THIS one 🙂

Or if you’re looking for some free literature to help change your life, you can join The NF Rebellion and download a plethora (I don’t get to use that word enough) of free ebooks as our way of welcoming you to our community!

Get your Nerd Fitness Starter Kit

The 15 mistakes you don’t want to make.

Full guide to the most effective diet and why it works.

Complete and track your first workout today, no gym required.

I identify as a:

Woman

Man

Use Technology to Change Your Default Behavior

We’re creatures of habit, and products of our environment. If we’re not intentional with our time, our default behavior becomes:

Netflix and ice cream after work instead of hitting the gym.

Gaming late into the night instead of getting quality sleep.

Fast food instead of taking the time to batch-cook our meals for the week.

When we don’t take control, we give that control subconsciously to what’s most convenient. And technology will gladly take that control from you, because every company’s stock price and profit margin depend on it.

These are companies with tens of thousands of employees, scientists, psychologists, and billions of dollars of research at their disposal and their only goal is to get more of your attention/time/focus/money.

Sure, you can lament the fact that you don’t have enough willpower or motivation or whatever to avoid all of these temptations to do the boring, challenging activity that will dramatically improve your life in the long term.

You can EITHER:

Beat yourself up for what you THINK you should be doing but can’t.

Accept that this is reality, and that you need to stop relying on yourself and instead start relying on systems.

I mean this in a good way, but I gave up on myself a long time ago, and it was the best decision I ever made. Because games and social media and TV are too enjoyable! So I don’t even give myself the option to get tempted by this stuff by using technology to my benefit.

So be more like Wade Watts and build systems in your life and use the Matrix to your advantage.

YOUR TURN:

Which tech hack is your favorite for getting you to make healthier decisions daily?

Do you have a strategy that you’ve put in place to level up your own life?

Share them in the comments below and help your fellow nerds out!

And then go read/see Ready Player One 🙂

-Steve

###

photo credit: Profound Whatever 8-bit Basement, jjackowski, Safety Protocols Disabled, JD Hancock Wocka Wocka Wocka!,

Footnotes    ( returns to text)

People who grew up without social media, who had their first interaction with computers be in computer labs at school playing Oregon Trail: The Oregon Trail Generation

Social Media is making us more anxious: study

I’m a big fan of Cal Newport’s thoughts in this space in his fantastic book, Deep Work.

https://ift.tt/2GJeAJA