#i think ones already exist but i want to put every time plot point on it

[eyra]

stuff what I have learnt about writing good

If you've followed me for longer than two minutes then you'll likely know (because I keep going on about it) that I've been working on a novel for the past year. It's always been a dream of mine to write and publish a book and whilst I still have a long way to go before I can even start thinking about querying (whether on this book, or the next, or the next, etc.) I suppose I can now say that a book Exists. I have written A Book.

Now whether or not that book ever sees the light of day, the process of writing it has been truly eye-opening. I went in knowing virtually nothing and came out, still with a huge amount to learn, but with a whole library of tools that I didn't have before. I'm now putting these to use with the first draft of my second book and already the process feels so much more enjoyable, because I've started to figure out how to make it work for me.

I wanted to jot down what I've learnt purely for my own reference so I can keep looking back and reminding myself what worked for me first time around, but given that I get a nice number of asks picking my brain about my own writing process, I thought I might as well share all this with you lot in case there's anyone out there who finds it useful!

So here are the big things that I've learnt so far...

1. Not every trick works for every writer

This has been, by far, my biggest learning. Starting to plan a novel for me felt SO overwhelming - I felt like I was bombarded on all sides with "this is how to write a novel" content, and it felt like there was just too much to learn and like I would never find my way through it. I spent weeks (months...) doing every worksheet, every outlining method, every chart, anything I could get my hands on. Some of them, by the end, proved themselves very useful. A lot of them didn't. There are thousands of voices online that are telling you "this is the right way to write a book" or even "this is the ONLY way to write a book" - don't listen to them. Try things, but don't feel like you have to fit yourself into every single box. Just find the things that work for you.

2. It's possible to overplan

On a related note - sometimes you just need to start writing. I spent WAY TOO LONG faffing about before I put pen to paper with my first book. So, so long planning out characters and plot points, a lot of which I then had to completely reimagine mid-draft because I realised they just didn't work anymore. In hindsight, some of this was down to me being scared to actually start writing - the planning stage was a bit of a comfort zone for me, despite not naturally being a plotter/architect - I have always always always been a pantser/gardener, but I got sucked into the whole "proper authors do it THIS way" narrative.

With my second novel, I did a nice amount of planning but then just bit the bullet and started drafting. I know where my story begins, ends, what my major themes are, I know all my main characters and I know my key plot points. The rest, I'm figuring out as I draft. If nothing else - I'm having a lot more fun this time around.

3. Think about voice and tense before drafting

Yeah duh obvious right? NOT TO ME. If you were following me around April time, you may have witnessed a series of minor breakdowns when I realised that, having written a whole first draft in third person present tense, the entire book should actually have been written in first person past tense. So that meant, basically, starting over from scratch. This was a big learning for me, and not a mistake I'm likely to make again.

4. Stop looking at your word count

For someone who's never really put much thought into word count before - my approach with fanfiction has already been "it'll be as long as it'll be" - I got OBSESSED with the word count of my first couple of drafts. A lot of people will tell you that any good novel "has to be" under 100k words. I constantly see this one post on Pinterest that says "I promise you that you can tell the story you want to tell in 100k words or under." I'm definitely no expert on this (and I'll eat my words when an agent tells me my manuscript needs cutting down), but I'm sceptical - a lot of stories can and should be under 100k words, sure, but most of my favourite books are much longer than this. However, I did get stuck in a "this manuscript has to be between 70k and 100k words" mindset and felt like a failure whenever it was sitting outside of that bracket. Also - keep your genre in mind. If you're writing a rom-com, 70k could work perfectly. If you're writing fantasy, you're probably going to go over that.

5. Know whether you're an overwriter or an underwriter

And related to the above - know whether you tend to write bare bones-style then add to it, or whether you tend to dump it all on the page then cut back later. I'm the first, and I knew this, but I still panicked when my first draft was only around 70k. I felt like it was rushing through the plot at an unreasonable pace and it didn't feel "finished". This was because it was a first draft. By the time I sent my manuscript to my beta reader, it was around 126k.

6. The dumb stuff works

The title of the document for my first draft was "XXX - worst possible version" and at multiple points during the drafting process I changed the font to Comic Sans size 48. It works. Completely takes the pressure off and gives you full permission to write big, write silly, write unhinged, write mad things that you'll cut back by 90% later. But it gets it all on the page. If you're stuck or cringing at yourself in Times New Roman size 12, try Comic Sans size 48.

7. Don't compare your first draft to your favourite book

Like an idiot, I did this. I still find myself doing it. It's possibly my worst writing habit. I'll type out a page at 11pm after a full day at work and no dinner and then I'll pick up a published book and think "ah man, the page I've just written is nowhere NEAR as good as this." Published books are fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh drafts that then go through months and months of editing. Do not compare your manuscript to a published book. Just don't do it.

8. Don't try to be That Author

Good writers are good readers. Absolutely read broadly, read deeply, just read. Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, everything. And it's fine to find yourself influenced by other writers - that's how writing works. But don't try to BE other writers. One of the issues I had to unpick last year was that I was reading a lot of authors whose writing styles are very different to my own. I know my own style fairly well by this point - fanfiction's a great sandbox for figuring that out - but at certain moments during my editing phases I found myself cutting away at my prose because it felt "too different" to the books I was reading at the time. This was a weird thing for me to have done, and I went back and fixed it later.

I think what I'm trying to say with this one is: take inspiration from everywhere, let yourself be influenced by different writing styles, but find your own voice and trust it. Literature already has a Sally Rooney and a Donna Tartt and a Leigh Bardugo. It doesn't need a clone - it needs you!

I'll finish by sharing what I've found to be the most useful plotting template. This obviously isn't the total extent of my planning process by any means, but after trying about a million different plotting techniques for my first manuscript, this is the one:

The 27 chapter method (more examples here)

And finally, two little character tricks that I find invaluable:

AITAH?

Character philosophy

I hope someone out there finds something useful in this post! Although I've been writing in some capacity since I was a teenager, 2024 was definitely the year I realised that I am a writer at my core. I want to be a published author, but I'm already a writer. It brings me happiness like nothing else in the world! And I love to talk about all aspects of writing, so my ask box is always very much open.

Happy scribbling! x

[avelera]

(Arcane Meta) Jayce probably did NOT canonically need to fundraise for Hextech pre-time skip / before 1.04 "Progress Day"

I posted this originally on Twitter but I find the format there quite limiting so I thought I'd expand on my thoughts here. (For those unfamiliar with Jayce/Viktor-centric Arcane fic, a lot of fics have as a plot point that Jayce needs to be constantly out fundraising to make their Hextech dream a reality before the events of Arcane.)

Not to debunk some widely held fanon that my own fics have indulged in, but we actually have evidence that Jayce and Viktor did not have investors before 1.04 "Progress Day" (ie, during the time-skip) because Jayce was surprised by the notion when Mel brought it up.

Now, I’ve seen and WRITTEN plenty of fics where Jayce spends much of the time skip promoting Hextech to investors, so I know this fanon is very widespread, but actually Jayce seems surprised by the very notion when Mel brings up that she has found investors for Hextech. The idea is foreign to Jayce, implying Hextech to that point was a state-run effort, ie, Piltover-funded and they only ever needed to convince Heimerdinger/the Council.

(*Puts on my tech startup-founder hat*) What changes in 1.04 is that Mel is offering to bring in OUTSIDE interests who want to add their funds to Hextech’s development in exchange for a “piece of Hextech” that has until that point been 100% limited to government funding, ie Piltover, which makes sense. The Hexgates were a government effort and therefore only ever had one customer.

(Indeed, I actually don't think there are Hexgates anywhere but in Piltover, despite what some fics have posited. First of all, why woul you give that economic advantage to potential competitors? With there being only one Hexgate in Piltover, all trade is forced to divert there, bringing their goods and their money, if they wish to reach their target destination in record time. Piltover then gets a piece of every trade vessel that goes through there in Hexgate fees and profits enormously. You leave it up to the merchants to make their own, slow way back and only ever grant them one-way instantaneous travel away from Piltover as the sweetener to pass through and give you a percentage of that tasty, tasty trade.)

Anyway, back to to the topic. So actually Jayce probably WASN’T doing the dog-and-pony show, dressing up and performing for investors during the time skip as those fics (and my own) posit. We know this because the notion was new to him. Jayce was still the public face of Hextech, the Man of Progress, but from what we actually see, between Mel, the Kirammans, and Heimerdinger/the Council, he never needed to fundraise.

Indeed, we actually see Jayce fundraise for the first time, after he becomes a Councilor, with Mel as his coach, at the opera when he comes up with the idea of "Hextech partners" on the spot. In fact, Mel compliments him on the NEW idea of offering Hextech partnerships to outside investors in exchange for early access to their innovations. If Jayce had been fundraising before that, such a mechanism would already exist and he wouldn't need to invent it then and there.

Now, I still think there's plenty of reasons for fics to have Jayce fundraising during the time skip. Arcane S1 is a very efficient show and a lot of stuff happens post time-skip that probably would have actually happened during it, realistically speaking, but they want to show it on screen so it gets moved later, even if it logically makes less sense. After all, Jayce's half of the show timeline is very weird, since it technically runs parallel to Caitlyn's time in the undercity, but she only spends a couple days there while Jayce talks about being a Councilor "talking about talking for weeks now." So I think any fic would be justified in telescoping and moving around some of the logistical timeline in their story in a way that makes more sense in a longer-form story than the show had time for.

If anything, it would make more sense if Jayce's discussion with Mel about investors happened not long after Hextech was first launched and it's just moved later so it can be shown on screen after the time skip.

But, it is also worth noting, that it is also realistic that Jayce never had to think about investors, because the Hexgates have been government funded since the start as the sole invention of Hextech. So in a way, it does make sense that only now would he and Viktor need to start thinking about outside investors if, say, they wanted to pursue innovations that wouldn't be wholly supported and funded by the Council. Say, mining equipment for Zaunite workers?

Viktor was sure Heimerdinger would see the potential, but once again I think that just shows his naïveté and scientific tunnel-vision. Viktor has never shown a mind for the financial side of science, he's an academic through-and-through. Jayce was always handling the business side and indeed, only barely handling the actual practicalities, as we see Mel and the Kirammans were as far as we can tell actually doing the behind-the-scenes heavy lifting so his "business" handling was just smiling for the cameras, not negotiating with trade guilds, up until he became a Councilor.

What this really tells us, as a final thought to leave you with that makes my logistical brain go brrrr, is that the Hexgates were much less a traditional "tech startup", reliant on the goodwill of a whole board of investors that need to be shmoozed, and much more a governmental program akin to the US moon launch, or the Suez Canal.

Jayce and Viktor probably never needed to worry about funding, because they had the entire treasury of Piltover backing their effort, an investment that Piltover almost certainly made back many times over with what the Hexgates would represent for hyper-accelerating trade through the area.

But, such automatic, assured funding has strings attached, strings we saw when Heimerdinger's swift dismissal meant they couldn't simply embark on their own vision for Hextech once the Hexgates were complete. They only ever had a customer of one (Heimerdinger, aka, the government of Piltover) and clearly couldn't even conceive of a way around their one customer telling them to delay the product for more testing, again, because they'd never even considered outside funding before. They'd never had to worry about it, or think about it!

If anything, Mel was probably setting them up in a kinder universe to go independent in a less dramatic way if need be with that initial idea of investors, before events spiraled such considerations out of control and suddenly Jayce was a Councilor who didn't need Hextech partners anymore. He was now, as de facto head of the Council, his own #1 customer and could have, in theory had he not stepped down, double-dealed with himself as Hextech founder (ie, corruption) to green light any Hextech project he wanted, had he truly recognized the potential, and had unfolding events allowed.

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

Fixing MHA's Ending So It Follows Through With Its Core Themes (And It Basically Fixes Itself)

I don't like retconning at the best of times, but turning what started as essentially a Hope focused narrative into a "realistic" tragedy at the very last second is some wild work.

So I'm gonna do what I do best as a fic writer and fix it!!!!!

The Summary

So, I'm pretty sure all of us were on mostly the same page up until the very last panels of the Shigaraki fight (Having AFO being just "born evil" was probably the start of things not being great, but I'm willing to let that slide because it doesn't really effect the overall function of the story that much). Once that and the epilogue started is where I mostly saw people being like ????????? to a lot of choices, so I'm going to focus on those two sections only.

We're gonna be rewriting:

-The deaths of the Villains + Kurogiri (obvs)

-The overall post-War actions and reactions

-The continued existence of the Commission and the Hero Rankings

-Hawk's fate

-Spinner's fate

-A liiiiitle tweak to Chisaki's fate

-Slight tweaks to the Todorokis

-and finally What to DO with the Villains + Kurogiri now that they're alive

And we'll be starting with...

Toga

Now for a battle that was so beautiful, this really did end up completely falling apart.

I'm not gonna justify every single Villain Rescue I do, but Toga's really comes down to one simple reason for me:

Her bullies literally wanted her to die as atonement.

You don't...typically make your character's fate agree with their bullies or abusers (otherwise???? why are you explicitly portraying them as bullies and abusers to the audience if you want us to ultimately agree with them?????)

Throughout most of the story prior to this, Hori made it a staple in the show that dying for the cause, hurting yourself for the cause, martyring yourself or otherwise telling someone to kill themselves for the cause is a vile thing to do. So, it makes ZERO sense why he would suddenly retcon this at such a critical moment, especially since he already set the stage for it to be wrong in the first place.

(also does anyone also think it was weird/creepy that Hori LITERALLY has her do this with Twice and she very explicitly says "Don't be stupid I don't have to give all of my blood away"? No? Just me?)

Everything happens the same, she still thinks she's sacrificing herself, "If only, if only", blah blah blah

AND THEN...

Hawks

This is such low-hanging fruit plot-wise it actually feels offensive that it went nowhere

Nothing happens with Hawks. We all say it, fans and non-fans alike. He is wasted potential incarnate. His story is a circle and it so easily did not have to be that way because of one simple writing decision:

Hawks and Toga share a blood type.

Up until now, it really did seem like Hawks learned nothing from Jin's death. The first thing he says when he sees the clones is, "We have to kill them now!" But then, picture him still battered and broken from his fight with AFO, wingless, but there is still SOMETHING he can do to save someone's life.

And he puts the needle in his arm instead, and before she can question it, he tells her Jin would want her to live. He's not gonna make the same mistake twice.

(I also think it'd be nice if he said something like how lucky she is, to really go full circle with the Jin story, but I'm not trying dialogue here lol)

And that leads us to...

Shigaraki (and Kurogiri!)

This is a double feature because with the way I'm doing it, I can't save one without the other.

So, something that happens during this and is super anti-climactic and seemingly pointless is Midoriya losing his hands. He gets em back in like 2 seconds, because Eri gives him a surprise rewind almost immediately after. The actual point of it was just to show the brand new rule that physical damage that happens in the vestige world also happens in the real world, so that killing Shigaraki a few chapters later would still make sense.

We're gonna get rid of that rule entirely and just say that Midoriya does not lose his actual arms in the fight, and psychological damage in a ghost world does not reflect physically in reality (or idk. If you DO want that to happen, then just say the embers of the vestiges protected him one last time or something).

And because he doesn't lose his arms, Eri still has a surprise rewind to use.

But before we get to that, we actually have to save Shigaraki. So, here's the super complicated rescue rewrite I came up with. Ready?

Kicking AFO out of his brain and giving him back full control over his body simply does not kill him.

That's it!!!! That's really all that needed to happen!! It was a very conscious choice to make that kill him! It's actually more work and details to kill Shigaraki than it is to save him!! Hori already went out of his way to say that Nana's vestige protected him so that he wasn't completely swallowed by AFO, just so he could say goodbye before fading away anyway. What if, considering the fact that hatred of Nana is what damned him, love FROM Nana actually just plain ol saves him? Full stop? We come full circle. It would make it a fantastic mirror to the Todoroki fight and solidify the theme that love from your/a family, even a broken one, will save you!!

And then further in the background, Bakugou doesn't randomly kill (?????? Even after reading it again I'm still really confused about how Kurogiri dies. I think this is what happens?????) Kurogiri, and instead starts to lose control like they feared. But then, refusing to give up on him, Aizawa hits him with the now-available Rewind Juice and it finally, finally stabilizes his mind for good.

The day is saved.

And that just leaves...

Touya

Unfortunately my stupid husband can't stop trying to kill himself for 2 seconds despite my best efforts to convince him otherwise, so there's really nothing I can do about the extent of his injuries

However, there's LOTS I can do about the way we're treating said injuries! =D

First of all, because Touya is my favorite, I do wanna allow myself the space to briefly rant about how his entire situation was handled because brother. first of all. It's so incredibly obvious that he was supposed to die on the battlefield with his comrades. That man had no fuckin eyeballs by the end of that fight, bffr. And then it was like Hori remembered the thing about the noodles and was like 'oh shit I better at least wrap that up lol' so he brought him back--eyeballs and TEARDUCTS magically intact btw so naturally the audience with reading comprehension was like 'oh he's healing somehow I guess'--just to get that specific moment on the books (and maybe just to draw Touya in his Batman Who Laughs era because I mean he does look pretty sick in the tank) and then turned around and killed him again. With no explanation what the random functioning tearducts and magical regrowth of eyeballs was about.

Like...my guy, you ain't gotta do all that. Again, it's so much harder and more complicated to kill him than it is to keep him alive. Not to mention he was killed OFF-SCREEN. WE DON'T EVEN GET TO SEE ANY--IF ANY--CONVERSATIONS HE HAS WITH SHOUTO OR HIS FAMILY, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF NOT KILLING HIM ON THE BATTLEFIELD. INSTEAD OF THE SEXY SHIRTLESS SERVING-FACE-AT-A-FUNERAL IMAGE OF TOUYA WE COULD'VE SEEN A FLASHBACK OF THEM TALKING AND HIM SMILING AND BEING HAPPY WITH THEM FOR WHATEVER TIME THEY HAD AND THAT STILL WOULD'VE BEEN MORE SATISFYING. Y'KNOW. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF THE TODOROKI PLOTLINE?????????????VSSSBBNM,.;;PUSAAXXGHIIRWDFGG

But anyway.

Fixing Touya's death is really simple. We can do two things, actually.

Work with the deus-ex Ice Quirk a little bit, make the Phoenix Theory canon. Ice heals him, the tank is a giant fridge. Lo and behold, it would explain why he magically healed eyeballs and tearducts. It's an incredibly slow process, but eventually he'd heal enough to be out of the tank and in a normal hospital setting for the rest of his recovery. It also gives him a goal to pursue for the future, I.E learning how to control the new side of his powers and mayybeeee getting interested in studying Quirk Biology in the process 👀

He simply!!!!!! Doesn't die!!!!!!!!! Out of ALLLLLLL the MHA characters, I would 100% believe you if you told me that Touya Todoroki nevertheless persisted. That's like...his entire character. You don't even need to give me a reason. His entire character up until now has been 'the one that's somehow still alive' to the point that the fucking Dr. Eggman lookin ass mad scientist that brought him back to life in the first place (in WORSE condition) was like 'yeah no idea how he's still here that's scary'. I'm sorry, the entire fucking show I've had to see A. An old man without a face with a back alley ventilator system shoved directly into his stoma that's somehow fine and talking perfectly, and B. Another old man missing his ENTIRE digestive tract for years and is still up and walking around somehow with no G-tube or colostomy bag to be seen, so I think by the power of God and Anime, Touya could probably survive his injuries and it would be within the realm of believability for the show. In fact, it's LESS believable that he stayed alive through all that by spite alone and then when he finally gets offered love and acceptance, that determination and tenacity to stay alive suddenly goes out the window. If anything, it should've made him MORE determined to live.

Sorry I got carried away with that one. But there. Everyone is saved and the core themes are intact.

Now we just have...

The Overall Actions and Reactions Post-War

Gonna sum this up really quickly:

-The cameras never turned off. They're built for Quirk resistance because they're a fucking newscast in a Hero society if their technology broke every time there were heavy Quirk exchanges there would never be any fucking news. Making them conveniently lose footage so none of the civs can see the Villains humanity is just rubbing salt in the wound and serves no narrative purpose in line with pre-established themes. Everyone saw what was recorded, and it helped the Villains' cases for rehabilitation.

-We do not censor out this battle in future history books. Everyone is very familiar with the final fight and the events and circumstances leading up to it. It is not erased from public memory as soon as possible. In fact, it's frequently studied and referenced when making new policies to avoid making the same mistakes. Hori. Wtf.

-We do not reinstate the Hero Rankings in any way shape or form, and Shouto is the biggest voice in dismantling this system. Voila, this is now actually the story of how they all became the greatest Heroes, because they aren't ranked. They're all literally the greatest Heroes, and so will everyone after them.

-This IS actually portrayed in the epilogue, but yes, let's be LESS reliant on Heroes and police and MORE invested in the community!!!!!!! Even more so than what's portrayed!!!!! Take another bit from Spider-Man: Anyone can wear the mask!!!!!! Let's make a world where Heroes have too much time on their hands and not just make more of them, right????????? Remember that????????

-WE DO NOT REINSTATE THE COMMISSION. WE GOT RID OF THEM CORRUPT HOES FOR A REASON!!!!!! NO A CHANGE OF THE GUARD IS NOT ENOUGH TO FIX IT WE'RE NOT 7YRS OLD!!!!! HORI. WTF. The only thing I want them to be in charge of is licensing Heroes. I want these fuckers to be the DMV of the Hero world and that's IT!!!!!!!

Which brings us to...

Hawks' Fate

I don't even fuck with this man like that, but he did not deserve to become CEO of the organization that groomed and abused him since he was a child when all he wanted to do was chase tail and fuck off to a beach somewhere. Considering the fact that he also, like, killed people he shouldn't have, let him retire like Endeavor, please. We're done giving the old guard power and privilege, especially when they explicitly did not and do not want it (and when they did have it, they misused it). The only thing I want this man involved with is Toga's recovery alongside Uraraka. Specifically, I want him paying for it and anything else she might need. Fuck it, you know what, make HIM Endeavor's personal aide instead of Rei!!!! He gets to be a little simp and Endeavor gets a replacement son to fill Natsu's spot. Everyone wins.

(He does deserve that hairline tho. I ain't fixin that.)

So that leaves...

Spinner's Fate

I'm not changing much here, besides the fact that now Shiggy is alive and I think they should be ✨Roommates✨ eventually (and obviously he's gonna be much less riddled with survivor's guilt). I still think he should write that book, but I also think that with his multiple Quirks, he should team up with scientists to understand how Quirks work in the body (and maybe get some of them removed from his).

And next...

Chisaki's Fate

I just think this guy needs to be in the same place as the other Villains, at least for a fraction of the time. Why is he just...out. He was also in that daycare and could definitely use some help before we just let him loose in the streets because he said sorry (Can the League just say sorry then??????????).

I do think afterwards he should get involved with something chemistry related tho, cause those bullets of his came in clutch.

And on that note...

The Todorokis' Fates

And by Todorokis I mean two of them, specifically Rei lol

Yeah, she's not gonna be Endeavor's nurse for the rest of her life lol. That man has more money than God, he can hire an aide like everybody else. In fact, they're not even living together. Do you remember how earlier in the series, he gave them a new house? So they could live away from him and he would be in the old house by himself? I liked that plan. Let's go back to that plan. I'm not gonna go as far as to make them divorce, if they're together they're together, but I think separation is a necessary must at this point because if they MUST stay together, they should at least try dating for once???????? Girl was actually bought like maybe they figure out if they even still like each other at all, or ever did.

(Also, I have to laugh as a motorized wheelchair user that Hori drew her pushing Endeavor all happy and blissfully. Motorized wheelchairs are not meant to be pushed like that lol. They have push features for emergencies and small around-the-house distances of course, but uh, mine's 350 pounds without me in it. It's not usually anyone's first choice.)

But there is one more Todoroki I have a lot to talk about, so that finally brings us to...

What Do We Do With The Villains + Kurogiri Now That They're Alive???????????

We take everything from comic books except what would actually makes sense with the story lol

Surprise!!!!!! We're doing Arkham!!!!!! This is another low-hanging fruit thing that I'm almost a little offended that it wasn't implemented. Obviously Arkham has its problems in the Batman canon that we're gonna try to avoid, but I honestly think Batman villains and the core MHA Villains are pretty similar in their execution in that they are primarily mentally ill victims of society who have done very terrible things, but the audience (and Batman himself) is actively rooting for them to get better over just rotting in jail or being killed. Two-Faced has killed sooooo many people and has relapsed a ton, but I ultimately still want to see him get better because he was Batman's best friend once and a good man, and what happened to him was a tragedy. I think all the Villains deserve a space where they can humanely heal from their issues and gain support, while also being safely separated from society while they're still dangerous to themselves and others.

Oh, but Batman and his endless money bought Arkham. Who do we know who has access to trust fund money, an investment in the mentally ill, and the bonus of a medical background that could fund such a thing?

Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for...

Natsuo Todoroki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mans graduates from college and immediately uses his money as a doctor and his inheritance to open up Rindou Sanctuary, in honor of his mother Rei and named after her favorite flower (I don't think he'd want to give Enji the satisfaction of his last name attached to his greatest achievement). He's head doctor on site and the board, and visits Touya every shift once he's healed enough to be transferred to the facility. He is very invested in his brother's treatment and refuses to lose him again--at least not until they're proper old men.

It is publicly funded by donors and taxes alike, and Enji, naturally, is always the highest donor. Call it reparations.

And there you have it! That's how to fix the epilogue. It took longer to type than think about. I could care less about canon shipping, so y'all can keep that (or not). I'm just here to fix the structural problems that have no reason to be here at this point. As I said, once I redrew lines Hori already set up and just abandoned, it pretty much fixed itself.

Hope you enjoyed it and I hope it eases the grief a little!!!!! They're alive look I fixed it!!!!!! <3

(also feel free to use anything I said in here in your own fix-it fics!!!! Just tag me so I can read them 👀)

[goldenhypen]

hi there can you recommend me some enha writers please.

hiii OMG YES OFC i love this questionnn

(listed in alphabetical order, also disclaimer, there are sooo many enha writers i wish i could include and still wanna get to know better. this is just who i can think of on the top of my head atm):

@atrirose - seiu is such a legend and everybody loves her works. owns some of the most iconic enha work to exist on this sight 😌🤭

@boyfhee - cae is suchhh a talented writer omg so if you want well written work and good plot or just fun works to read, this is one of the ways i recommend going 😌 she’s also a super fun and funny person so 12/10 recommend 👍🏻

@delcakoo - i literally strive to be ema omg her works are so fun and creative and so well put tgt. i’ve enjoyed reading every single one 😭 missing new works from her (she’s on hiatus rn if you didn’t already know) but i hope she’s happy rn and is doing well <3

@heeracha - (rey imy 🫶🏻) there’s a reason why heeracha is so popular (even tho she’s ghosting 90% of the time 🙄 /j) it’s cuz rey’s works are so genius and so entertaining and creative and cute yet heart wrenching and the slowburn in a lot of her works just has you hooked in a way that is not easy for writers to do but she does so effortlessly 😔

@isoobie - if you want a go to for cute works i def recommend ri <3 also her aesthetic is always on point so 😌 she’s also super friendly and nice. def someone i recommend <3

@jaeyunverse - pls sage has some of the best works on here no joke. her plots are so genius and her works are so entertaining to read and so well written. go check her out fs <3

@jayflrt - one of the first enha writer’s i read for even before starting this blog,,, so you can kinda say it’s thanks to alice that goldenhypen even exists sjsnd and i think that alone says enough 😌

@sungbeam - beam currently isn’t writing for enha (← beam, correct me if i’m wrong djdjdj) but she has a bunch of enha works for you to check out. and i highly encourage you to bc her writing style is honestly one of my favourites i’ve ever found. she’s sooo talented and so hard working 🫶🏻

@tyunni - also such a legend. one of my fav ppl <3 and i’m not just recommending may cuz i’m being biased. no she’s sooo talented with some of the most fun and entertaining works on this site <3 all of her works are a must-read tbh sorry i don’t make the rules 🤷🏻‍♀️

and some bonus honourable mentions <3:

@byhees - sooo many cute and fun reads here. every time i read smth from violet i always leave kicking my feet and giggling to myself :’>

@heeliopheelia - ahh carly’s works are so well written and put tgt, enjoyable and (most of the time) fun to read (if not fun then heart breaking,, but in the best ways possible omg) def a writer you need to check out if you haven’t already <3

hope this helps anonnie and to anyone who wants to find some new writers to read from/support! ^_^ <3

[wotay27166]

Goodbye Sparklecare.

This will be my final post for actual for real this time.

What can I say that hasn't been said already? I've done my part. I've learnt everything that I needed. It's not the complete sense of closure I'd want but I don't think that's something I can get. I have to accept that. This has all been an incredibly painful past 2 days for me.

In a way, I grew up alongside Sparklecare. I was a minor when I was there during the preboot days, and now I'm an adult with an income. An income that I used in part to support Kittycorn for 2 years. Kittycorn's work was formative to me as an artist and a writer. I related to a lot of the characters and the plots because I too was a traumatized mentally ill/disordered person who had suffered at the hands of both a society and a medical system that did not treat me with dignity.

8 years of my life this comic was a part of.

Everyone has already said everything about Kittycorn the person, her actions, and her predatory associates so I'd like to talk about something else.

Sparklecare as a piece of art

...and how it just speaks to the lack of true artistry that everything about it ceases to hold up entirely once you know the Real Intent.

Because it's insincere.

If you essentially have to deceive your audience to get them to care, you have failed. If you're going to pull deception on your audience it has to be intentional to the experience. You can have stories that are fucked up, transgressive, and taboo succeeding in being fantastic stories in spite of those things as they wear their heart on their sleeve, genuine in what they want to convey. Sparklecare and all its surrounding media is none of that when Kittycorn put on a fake safe persona with a fetish mining work full of dog whistles and falsehoods.

When you set a standard for what your work is and what to expect, it is a MASSIVE 'Fuck you' to your audience to go against what you supposedly stood for the entire time otherwise. I guess a kind of similar example I can bring up is exactly why people hate the ending of Bunny Drop so much. It goes beyond the incest as a presence, it's more about the betrayal of expectation I'd say. It forces you to retroactively look at everything differently and it just ruins it entirely. Every single familial interaction in Cometcare is now impossible to see as just wholesome familial bonding, it's all warped to hell and back right down to the extended lore and themes. The very existence of 'secret canon' or whatever excuse tampers the whole. If it was like a fan-made thing it'd be like whatever, but this is the actual creator - this is a part of her vision. Right from the source.

But even once you realize this, it still doesn't work because it feels unnatural like what is actually wanting to be said/done is being held back. So you're stuck in this awful middle ground of a horrific realization.

The point is, people who aren't upfront about this sort of shit will never make good art that's worth remembering. In a few years no one will give a fuck about this comic outside of its controversy. That is the legacy one leads through insincerity. Even if it does remain it will never again reach the height or momentum it once did.

If you really want to really 'do whatever you want forever', you have to do it with honesty. You can't hedge around it or downplay what you actually want to do. All you will do is build yourself a mounting wall of expectations you know you will never meet because it's all a lie. For all Kittycorn saying in the past she never wanted it to be popular or get the attention it did... she kept pandering to the popular instead of doing what she actually wanted to do, and that's make a fucked up incest comic. It's because the allure of material reward of a large safe fandom that gives you fanart, recognition, and money is rewarding rather than making something real.

That hypothetical fucked up incest magnum opus, I wouldn't be apart of that audience nor would a lot of people in the current Sparklecare fandom. It is an alienating thing to create just purely based on what it is and if that's the 'whatever you want' to make 'forever', it is something one must accept. It also takes a lot of skill to make a work that an audience that otherwise would never engage with something like that to still enjoy/see the merits of it in terms of a piece of art/story. Good writers are perverts, but not all perverts are good writers. If you're not putting your entire ass in everything, the ass crack will show. As an artist who willingly puts their art out into the world and curates a specific audience and tone with their work... how she did not expect any of it to backfire is beyond me.

With an art and writing style that lends itself to a more juvenile audience with how very 'teaching a lesson' focused things are (even the incest comics are like this) it does not naturally lend itself to nuanced discussion nor the sea of depth in terms of character complexity. Sure the characters are multi faceted, but their actions are very black and white with the creator very not open to alternative interpretations that she cannot control within the audience to the point of distress (see people having a problem with Doom in a relationship with former patients he inadvertently aided in torturing by being complicit in the system that enabled it, for example). Even if it turns out if, for example, Sly is supposed to be seen as victim of her own illness (OCD acting on intrusive thoughts) it doesn't magically alleviate her of the actions portrayed nor disgust overshadowing sympathy. There is nothing Kittycorn can do to repair the reputation of this character within her art.

She is still calling the rampant incest canon just a comfort thing and thinks that being like 'umm all the canons are separate it's all AUs' changes intent and mindset in any way. You can't magically just switch off part of your brain when working on certain things - that's not how it works. It's not even like I can't fathom or understand where the coping comes from - a world where what if this awful thing that happened to me wasn't awful and I can reframe it in a positive way for myself so the abuse I endured hurts less. What if the codependent trauma bond meant so much more than a vessel of having power over someone in a life devoid of it? Potentially, a work like that could be quite profound because incest as both a moral dilemma and as a form of abuse, there is no easy 'out' when dealing with it. Themes of generational trauma, legacy, power, sexism, desperation...

--

EDIT: Okay never mind, that entire last three paragraphs before this one was written before the giant ass Sly x Eve defense and... no one is misrepresenting anything. It turns out it is full on incest romanticization in the most literal way. Incest true love. There's no nuance here whatsoever. Which, damn, I... I guess I'm truly speechless here. I was expecting like ANYTHING I guess but it's just... NOTHING...? I feel like an idiot. Fell for it again award received by me!!

I would like to formally apologize to the Coffin of Andy and Leyley - I didn't give you enough credit.

8 fucking years I invested into this shitty fucking comic and it turns out I was reading way WAY too deeply into EVERYHTING. FOR YEARS. Sparklecare was only good because I autistically indulged and overanalyzed everything into thinking there was more here being said and presented than it ever actually was.

I need to sit down.

--

But the key to that is sincerity.

Which is what Kittycorn lacks. It extends beyond her art as even her 'apology' posts are insincere. I don't think Kittycorn understands that no amount of 'actually you are supposed to interpret it like this' will change people's perception purely because of the sensitive nature of the topic at hand. You can be a big massive pervert with big massive pervert parts in you story and it could potentially have merit as art, but it has to be sincere all the way through. You can take perverse to mean purposefully contrarian or sexually taboo- either way I feel it applies. If you can't even be honest about the sorts of people you hang around with nor the way you approach your very public persona...

How can anyone trust a word you say? When all you've done so far is lie? At what point does the audience stop accepting the 'Fell for it again' award?

Why should anyone view your art as anything but a farce?

Anyway, that's my ramble about art.

Wotay27166 signing off for the last time, peace ✌️

[angelshizuka]

I have heard the criticism that the murder business was the only part of Helluva Boss that was unique to the show and that’s why fans were mad that that aspect was shelved.

It was followed up with this critic saying every other character arc or theme it tried to explore afterwards are arcs and themes that we’ve seen done before and done better in other shows.

While I hesitate to say all of them were done “better” since Helluva Boss is still ongoing, I do understand to an extent being upset the thing that made you like a show is the thing that gets put on the back burner in later episodes.

Thoughts?

My take on the matter is basically this;

If people were around when the pilot first dropped in 2019 and had actual time to let it marinate as they waited for the actual show, then sure, I can understand the disappointment of it not being what you were expecting.

Though, that still doesn't excuse how many of their arguments against this show are rooted in misogyny and queerphobia (I don't give a fuck if they're a woman and/or queer themselves).

Or how these people (at least the annoying loud crowd) act like the plot came out of nowhere in s2, when it's been a literal thing since the 2nd episode of the 1st season, aka an episode that dropped about a year after the pilot (also the Stolas scene from ep1 was already setting up things for s2, but sure... "out of nowhere"). At that point they should've had at least a hunch there was going to be more to this show than just "murder of the week".

Not to mention that if you wanna get technical, only Murder Family and C.H.E.R.U.B have the assasination as the A plot (I'm not counting Spring Broken, because the A plot is Blitz vs Verosika). And even then I can still make arguments on how plot relevant both those episodes are, because Murder Family sets up a lot of the character dynamics and the book deal, and C.H.E.R.U.B. intruduces us to the Cherubs. Like, their appearance in The Full Moon would've made no sense without the s1 episode setting them up first.

Which means that even in s1 alone the murder plot at best took up 25% of the episodes. Like, being disappointed you didn't get the show it once was during the concept stage (wheter people wanna admit it or not, a pilot is part of the concept stage, they're just sometimes shared publically) is one thing, but that doesn't mean the show we ended up getting "came out of nowhere", because these ideas were already a thing when s1 went into production.

Also, hot take, I guess, but I LOVE how "cliche" this show can get at times for 2 main reasons. 1, because most modern media is allergic to romance and at the end of the day I'm a hopeless romantic who just wants characters to ship (sue me), and 2, because these plots have rarely ever existed with queer charactes and we deserve cliche romance tropes, too (as one of my animation teachers said "cliches are cliches because they work").

And honestly, as someone who thinks the pilot is just okay (like if I was around back in 2019, I would not have cared), absolutely hates C.H.E.R.U.B. and has Stolas as the literal reason I even ended up here in the first place, I cannot disagree more with the claim of the show needing to be more like the pilot.

[talenlee]

Story Pile: My Adventures With Superman

Since 1938, there has pretty much always been a Superman piece of media being made. While the line of continuity has its fuzzy points and its deliberate gimmicks, Superman is a character who has carried the concept of the superhero across his shoulders for a long time, in no small part because he is very simple and the novelty of his existence can be used as a contrast for pretty much anything the writer wants to do. Superman is a story infrastructure that everyone you knew grew up with, even if they don’t much care for him. That means almost any time there’s a new piece of Superman media, the response can be equal amounts ‘so what?’ and ‘what’s interesting this time?’

Enter My Adventures with Superman, a competently made and animated TV series about Superman, Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and Clark Kent, set in a sort-of-current day sort-of-place that’s sort-of-familiar. I really enjoyed it, and I love the things that it doesn’t think it has to do.

Content and Spoiler Warning: I’ve watched the first season of My Adventures with Superman and I’m going to draw some information from that. There are going to be some spoilers, but the most significant thing to mention is what’s ‘not a spoiler,’ as it were, the assumed knowledge.

Describing the plot of My Adventures with Superman feels a little comical in consideration but nonetheless, here we go. The story kicks off with a single early scene of Clark’s childhood when he first awakens his superpowers, put a pin in this. From there we jump to Clark heading to work on his first day at the Daily Planet, a ‘news paper’ where he is taking on work as an intern along with Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen. Their jobs are as described seemingly paid positions in which they do copy writing, manage toner, make sure things that need copying get copied, and just generally do things to the pragmatic infrastructure of the newspaper. A job that quite frankly, sounds both noble and challenging to me, but I’m the kind of lefty weirdo who thinks that plumbers are cool. Anyway, Clark is already torn between two major tensions, one of which being his ability to help a lot of people and his desire to fit in and be normal. This normalness means doing things like sneaking off to help people with problems or get people’s shopping home or whatever. Lois and Jimmy are people who chafe at the limits of what they’re stuck doing, and that mirrors Clark, whose normal life of being a normal guy does not have room for being a flying superhero.

What follows here then is a story which starts with the introduction of a Superman, then the world reacting to the appearance of Superman, then the revelation that in the past an alien incursion happened and that colours the way the military industrial complex perceives Superman, and all while Superman is trying to work himself out and what it means to be superman. Thing is, blended alongside that there’s the very real tension of Lois Lane speed-running the normal ‘who is Superman?’ story arc that progresses from ‘what is that’ to ‘I don’t trust that’ and then to ‘I have good reason not to trust that.’ It’s a very well contained arc that culminates at the end of the first season with Lois and Jimmy being completely aware of who Superman is, since they are reporters who track information and record things and observe the world around them standing right next to Superman’s secret identity. It is very reasonable that they work it out.

A phrase I’ve heard used a few times since I first heard it in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3,000 is the idea ‘you spent that quarter.’ The notion is that a film can’t show you a bomb fuse burning down, show the bomb exploding, then show you the same fuse burning down to maintain tension – that is a currency you have already spent. Superman stories can be seen in terms of their currencies too, where every time you use something from the comics or some other interpretation of Superman, you are setting things in a particular way that means you can’t go back on it. You are spending, as it were, that quarter, and if you blow through say, Zod in your first outing to make sure that you get a good first impression, you’re running the risk of making every threat after that point have to compare to Zod. This applies to a lot of Superman’s gaggle of villains who, thanks to being in non-stop focus testing for over eighty years, can include some real bangers linked to really good stories even if the individual character’s own origin is a kinda mopey bore.

What’s impressive to me about My Adventures with Superman is the way it spends one of its big quarters up front; normally, Superman’s secret identity stays secret for a pretty long time so Jimmy and Lois have to grapple with what that means when they finally find out. The fact you’ve had a (very nice) friend lying to you for a long time is actually pretty rough and most of the time the story of Superman glosses this over, because the revelation about his identity happens towards the end, when they have, as it were, spent a lot of quarters. Keeping the secret is a useful thing for ongoing narratives, a thing you can use to add tension all over the place. This? Doesn’t want to keep that ball in the air, so it just spikes it in season one.

And sure, this is why the story uses weird sideways jobbers like Intergang and Livewire and doesn’t jump to heavy hitters with more Superman cachet. It’s choosing what it does and doesn’t get to use, and that means this first season can feel like a lot of deep cuts like Monsieur Mallah (who isn’t really a Superman villain in my mind), while deliberately keeping heavy hitters like Lex Luthor, the inevitable end point of a long thread, for the end game.

Part of what lets this work though is that this is probably the most wholly realised Lois Lane character I’ve ever seen in any of this kind of story. Lois here has a backstory and connections to significant elements of the universe around her that serve to inform how she wound up where she is and what that means. Normally, Lois is a character pressed out of a standard mould, a sort of normal archetype everyone could just pattern off it. Basically, Lois doesn’t need to have anything, because she’s not anything, and Superman is the one the story is interested in.

In My Adventures With Superman, instead she has a narrative reason to distrust the secrecy of Superman and then to see that clashing directly with the normal social consideration of being, just, you know, a good friend. There is a reason to struggle with these competing tensions, and the character that results has, like, a thing to build on, and once she knows about Superman, the character becomes part of his narrative rather than an element waiting for the narrative to conclude..

There’s more, of course, bits and pieces. The comical anachronism of a world with smartphones and newspapers. The hilariously ill-equipped guards and police just sort of waving Lois and co along. The way that this show tells jokes and it like, wants them to be funny. More than most other iterations of Superman I’ve seen for a long time?

My Adventures with Superman wants the story to be fun.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[alvivaarts]

Writing Tips For You (as if I don’t currently have insane writer’s block)

-Can’t start a scene? Write the setting instead. What is the lighting like? Is this place comfortable? Is it familiar or not? What should you point out now so it doesn’t suddenly appear when it becomes important for the characters? SET! YOUR! STAGE!

-Everyone says “show, don’t tell”. I like to think of that as “what are your character’s physical reactions? What are they feeling?” You can say “Character looked dismayed”, or you can say “Character grimaced with dismay.” See the difference?

-Struggling with dialogue? Talk to yourself while you’re writing. You might be blocking yourself if you subconsciously think some dialogue feels unnatural.

-Context, context, context! This applies to everything from the small interactions to the big plots. Every force has an equal and opposite reaction, allow interactions and events to grow as such.

-Context, context, context pt 2! But worldbuilding! If your character is performing an act, how does that fit into the physical reality they already exist in? How is it possible? Can you imply (imply, not explain) that these things are commonplace or why they wouldn’t be?

-Build the action. (Stealing this from theater class like twelve years ago.) You can’t just put a character into the scene and say ‘they made a sandwhich’. What has to happen for the sandwhich to be made? Your character has to walk into the kitchen, open the cupboard, get out a plate, get out the jam and peanut butter, get out the knives, open the fridge, get out the bread, close the fridge, open the bread bag, lay down two slices of bread on the plate, close the bag, open the first jar, pick up the first knife, scoop up the jam, slather it on the bread, put the knife down, close the first jar- and so on and so forth. Every small step is necessary for you to understand, and to engage your readers. You don’t have to go into ridiculous detail like I just did, but even understanding that for yourself helps remember the ‘state’ of your scene at any given moment.

-See above, but it’s not a scene and a sandwhich. The scene is your whole story and the sandwhich is your plot. What small steps MUST happen to reach the climax? Does changing one of those small steps change the result? How?

-Emotions are best portrayed when you have experienced them or can get insight from those who have experienced them. Let yourself get emotional in a scene. Allow yourself to be empathetic and vicariously experience what your characters are.

-Reread your own work! Your writing style and characterizations can change over time, but if you feel like you’re losing them, don’t be afraid to look at where you started to ground yourself!

-Proofread your own work 2-12 hours after you finish a section! Not while you’re writing! Don’t let yourself get carried away with writing things ‘right’, just get the ideas out.

-Have a friend or volunteer proofread for you too! This can help pick out things you repeatedly say, words you might misuse, grammar and punctuation that might need correction, and phrases that are hard to digest or don’t make sense.

-Make sure you’re making an effort to use regionally/era specific words and slang both in dialogue and in your writing. There are plenty of websites and videos online that list and discuss regional and era slang worldwide. Not to mention, we can connect with people all over the world using the web just to ask! Using incorrect phrases can really break immersion and make characters feel- well, out of character! I.E. an 80s jock saying ‘dope bruh’, American characters (generally) saying ‘lift’ instead of ‘elevator’, so on and so forth.

-Research research research! Research bloodloss limits, research how laws and jobs operate in different regions and countries, research weirdly specific myths and biblical themes, research as much as you can! You can only build a richer environment to write in!

-If you actively want to implement themes, allow them to reflect the experiences of your character. Example character is an Italian American who was orphaned at 13 after his orthodox Catholic parents died, he has been in and out of foster care his whole life, and the moment he got out his military job became strict and he allowed himself to be blackmailed to protect a child in a similar position. This has plenty of fun themes and symbolisms, like sacrifice, fate, lack of control, love, losing autonomy, etc, all of which can be framed under the impactful history of his Catholic childhood. This evokes the imagery of farm animals, servitude, animal tags/dog tags, holy spaces being used for other purposes. Play with it!

-Build three base playlists! One for your overarching story, one for songs that remind you of the main character and their story arc, and one for how you feel when you’re writing/songs that weirdly remind you of your story. You can cycle through these to help get into your mood.

-Consume other media! If all you do is focus on writing, you WILL lose steam and inspiration. Don’t be afraid to watch new shows, read new books, look at more artwork, read more poems, listen to more music. You might get a flicker of inspiration for themes, motives and ideas, and you’ll continue to fill yourself instead of dumping your focus out on your writing.

-Understand how each major character thinks and instinctively reacts to things. Some characters can stay calm, but others might instinctively react to things ‘angrily’, others might try to run away. This is an easy way to figure out character flaws and impliment easy conflicts.

And last but not least:

-Take breaks! Don’t worry about forcing yourself to keep a posting schedule (unless you’re being paid. I’m not. I’m doing this shit for free and for funsies) if all you do is spend all your time worrying about your writing, you won’t be able to relax your brain. Spend time with friends, play games, go outside!

I hope this helps!

[justkending]

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt (Chapter 4/7)

Mini-Series Summary: Two of the most stubborn people in the group partnered together for an undercover mission are also the two people with the most hatred for each other, so what could go wrong? Or is it, what COULDN’T go wrong?…

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger Reader

Word Count: 3900+

A/N Note: Only a few more chapters to go (I think, but we're both lost on how long this series will be.) Thank you guys for reading and as always, thank you for the love and support!

____________

Chapter 4:

Y/N's POV

It wasn’t him. It was 100% me. I did this to myself. I built a wall so quickly around him because I didn’t want to like the man behind my misery. 

My teammates knew enough about my backstory to think they had an idea of my reason for joining SHIELD: helping the little guy because, at one point, you were the little guy—the manipulated guy��the one who no one saved, so you had to save yourself—and now anyone else who can’t do it for themselves. 

Yet, there were so many other things I kept for myself, and things files couldn’t tell you. No files existed of them, and I’m glad because I didn’t want the pity. 

James Buchanan Barnes was the reason behind my abuse. Not personally, but my abuser was obsessed with his accomplishments under the German and Russian terrorist organizations and wanted to make a female, more skilled, discrete, and sleeker version of the Winter Soldier. 

Who fucking didn’t, right? God, every goddamn evil bastard on this godforsaken shit show of a planet wants to remake something that was a once in a lifetime kind of thing and crack more than a few eggs to get to that point. Selfish asshole…

Being constantly compared to him and then beaten for not hitting the unreachable mark of the man I was ‘of no comparison to’ after years of trying to hit that standard, and then being asked to be on a team with him? A lot of emotions hit me like a train when I got that news. 

Will I amount to being the trained spy and agent I am for Shield with him by my side? Will he make me look like a completely pointless addition to the team? After five years of already working with the Avengers and then learning who the Winter Solider was? Steve’s best friend and probably the only person he could relate to in their journey? All the way to having to work with him… The change-up was instantaneous, where I would have begged for baby steps. 

Then again, when has the world made it easy for me?

So yes. I was an ass and kept him further than arm's length away to stay safe from learning that he was a good guy when I wasn’t ready to like him yet. I had a lot of trauma I never thought I’d have to work through with the infamous man himself, and that irritation and annoyance just continued when he finally matched my energy, and we never strayed from that relationship until… now.

And here he was, genuinely asking what HE did wrong when I was the reason for our enemies’ plot line. 

“Bucky, I don’t think I can talk about this right now,” I breathed out slowly, feeling the tears prick in my eyes.

It had been a minute since I cried and felt this vulnerable, and I couldn’t seem to stop it. I think subconsciously, I didn’t want to stop it, but my mind was begging my body to hold out until he was out of the room. 

“Y/N, if I did something to you, I didn’t realize-” 

“You wouldn’t have known,” I whisper, not trusting my voice to stay steady, but also not wanting to put anymore of the blame on him from here on out. 

He wasn’t a bad guy.

He had proved himself time and time again to be a really good guy. Even when he broke and decided he hated me back, he still had his moments when he put it aside and showed chivalry. I admired him for it even when I ignored the admiration. 

Makes it hard to fully hate a guy who made sure ladies weren’t opening any doors for themselves. Or a man who remembered Morgan’s birthday and bought her an ice cream cake before stealing Steve’s shield to sled down a hill her dad told her not to. Or a man you treat like absolute shit 99% of the time, and he still checks on you when you have nightmares, and he grabs water and an ice pack and helps you even out your breathing before waiting for you to go back to sleep. 

I didn’t ask him for the help, and he never mentioned the handful of times he fell into the routine of soothing me back to sleep. Never brought it up, never made me feel like I owed him, and never hinted at remembering such kindness. 

But now?

“You wouldn’t have known why it started this way to begin with. And you likely won’t,” I sigh, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth before turning around; a lot more put together, even if it was just a mask I had learned to put on most of my life. 

“I don’t understand,” Bucky furrowed his eyebrows at my disposition. 

“I don’t expect you to, but maybe we should go to sleep and talk about it later. It’s getting late, and you have to go to your ‘job’ tomorrow,” I say with hand quotes. “We have to keep the ruse going.” 

“A few hours of sleep doesn’t affect me,” Bucky shook his head, and I could see him itching to put his hands back on me, but he held back. “Please. I need to know what the hell I did.” 

“Again, Bucky,” I say sternly this time, all emotion I’m struggling to keep at bay shoved down. “You are not at fault, and tomorrow I’ll talk to you, but for now, I need to sleep on it.”

He read my face for lies, and I kept it neutral. I wasn’t going to break here. Now was not the time. I needed space to think about how I was going to approach this after so long of avoiding it and being put on the spot wasn’t going to work for me. 

“Ok,” he said, softer than I think I ever heard him talk. His eyes were soft and sensitive, and I didn’t know how I felt about it…

He turned and walked out of my room, gently shutting the door behind him and turning off the overhead light he had originally flashed on. 

I didn’t instantly head straight to bed. I stared at the doorway in the dark, seeing the faint silhouette of the barrier between us. He was still on the other side, and I could hear his heart rate higher than normal.

This was affecting him more than I thought it would. Why was he so worried about what I thought of him? He didn’t seem bothered by my disinterest in the past. Or at least I didn’t figure he did. 

____________________

When I woke up, Bucky was already gone. His truck, normally in the driveway, was missing, and I knew he had taken off for our mission report. 

Thankful, I took the time to make my coffee, sit on the front porch, and watch the neighborhood take on its morning routine. 

People were on runs with their family dogs, moms were doing their morning walks with strollers, some neighbors were out already tending to their gardens, and everything suburban seemed to be on track. 

Towards the end of my cup, I notice Mrs. Bauer coming back from her jog she must have taken earlier than the others. 

“Oh, hello, neighbor!” she shouted when she spotted me, uniformly checking our house like her head was on a swivel if she heard a pen drop in it. 

Still in her jog, she sashayed over to my lawn, and I mumbled, “Here we go,” smiling at her as she followed the sidewalk to our steps. 

“How are you doing today, Bethanne?” I grin standing from my patio chair and going down the steps to meet her at the bottom of the flight. “Is there a run club I didn’t know about? You’re the 10th person I’ve seen getting a head start on their steps for the day.” 

She laughed and waved a hand at me before taking an earbud out, pausing her music on her watch, and placing her hands on her hips as she looked up at me. 

“There is actually a mommy and me walking club on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Depending on the weather, of course, but who knows,” she grinned up at me. “Maybe you can be joining it sooner than you thought.”

“Maybe not as soon as you think,” I laughed, holding my mug tighter with both hands so I wouldn’t strangle her instead and leaning on the banister. “We wanted at least a year in the house by ourselves before we add another set of feet to the chaos,” I scrunch my nose and add, “but I’m excited for the day Beau and I have a mini-version of us running around here.” 

“Speaking of Beau,” she grins, looking to the driveway. “Where is he today? He’s usually home with you most of the time, right?”

“Oh, it was time for him to get back to work. He took off for a few weeks to get moved in and spend time with me before we had to get back to the real world,” I answer as planned. 

“That’s right. I think I remember you guys talking about that at the first block party,” she nodded, watching me carefully for slip-ups. “Can you believe it’s only been two weeks of you guys here? I feel like you two have been a part of the community for at least a year.” 

“You’re sweet,” I gush convincingly and look out to the neighborhood for effect. “You guys have really taken us in as your family, and you don’t know how much I appreciate it. We appreciate it,” I correct and look off in the distance like I’m thinking of my sweet, doting husband when, in reality, I was thinking of the day this mission was over and I could carry on with my normal life. “I don’t think I’ve mentioned this. Beau isn’t one to really talk about it, but his family life wasn’t the best. They’ve practically been strangers since he turned 18.” 

“Oh, is that so?” She inched up, feeding on the new (fake) information. 

I nod. “When we started dating, my family took him in as his own- well, I only had my dad around for most of my life, but they got along really well. He passed three years ago,” I give a tight-lipped look as I look down at my feet in sadness. “They developed a bond, which wasn’t hard considering who my dad was. He was the best, though we might be biased in thinking that. Taught Beau how to do a lot of things dads are supposed to teach their sons. Well,” I sniffle for added effect. “Anyway, we’re kinda on our own now. No extended family we’re close with, and with my dad’s passing, it’s really just us. So when I say we’re grateful for y’all’s hospitality, I mean it.”

She seemed to buy it, as much as an undercover convict could, and smiled kindly up at me before placing a hand on my arm. 

“Of course, sweetheart. We’re just lucky you two are some of the good ones. You’d be surprised who’s come in and hasn’t made the cut. Lawns in disarray, unfriendly attitudes, and you know the list,” she winks and rolls her shoulders back before stretching in her spot. “Speaking of being lovely neighbors, how would you and Beau feel about a dinner at our house? Reggie and I have been talking about having you over for quite some time now, and I think we can finally host.” Before I could ask, she stopped me and explained. “Kitchen renovation. It was, and still is, a pain in my ass, but it should be doable for a small dinner.”

“That sounds lovely,” I beam as much as I could act. It was the perfect next step, and the bait had been taken, but a part of me wanted to settle things with Bucky in our personal dispute before we put on our masks for the two main perpetrators. “Let me check with him and see what his schedule will look like now. He’s getting some new orders today, and some things are changing in the company. We’ll know more tonight. But we will for sure make it work.” 

___________

After Bethanne told me some useless neighborhood gossip, she excused herself, and I went back inside to get ready for the day and consider how I would approach Bucky on our issue. 

I knew it was time to be truthful, even if I dreaded it. Bucky had proven time and time again that he wasn’t the enemy, and I needed to deal with my issues. I was tired of wasting energy on hatred and anger, and these last two weeks proved that Bucky wasn’t the one who should have been receiving the blunt force end of my trauma. 

I had until four in the evening to come up with an idea of how I wanted to go about it, but I had stress cleaned instead and couldn’t come up with a non-terrifying way to approach this life-changing conversation.

Finally, I found it best we get dinner in the town over (as not to have any peaking eyes or eavesdropping ears as we dive into my life story I hadn’t indulged to near anyone before), and I would talk to Bucky there. However, plans changed when Bucky came home. 

From my spot in the kitchen, I heard him shout in his domesticated voice across the street, “No, that sounds perfect! We’d love to!” The door opened just as he finished his sentence, and his voice became clearer. 

I moved around the island and slowly walked toward the door to get a view of who he was talking to, and I noticed Bethanne at her mailbox waving to Bucky. 

I furrowed my eyebrows at the obvious commitment he put us in, and after he waved back, he shut the door behind him, looking at me, and dropped the act quickly. 

“What did you just agree to?” I asked, nodding my head behind him. 

He looked me up and down, and I almost forgot I had picked a new, semi-fancier sundress for our “surprise anniversary dinner” (at least the front I was trying to put on for getting out of town without too much suspicion).

(Make whatever color you please or change it in your mind if you want! I'm choosing to pick it as a darker red.)

“You look nice,” he says as his eyes trail back up to my own, and I swear I see him take a gulp. 

“What did you agree to?” I asked again, focused more on what he had decided for us regarding Bethanne. 

His previous shocked face faded away, and he rolled his eyes slightly before throwing his work bag to the side.

“Bethanne invited us to dinner. I said yes because we need to build a relationship with them,” he replied stoically, as if my question was dumb and pointless. 

I just stared at him and let my “personal vendetta” look rest on my face. He studied me and had the decency to shrink ever so slightly. 

“What?”

“What happened to discussing things first?” I said in an eerily calm voice. 

“I didn’t think accepting dinner at a home we’ve been trying to get inside of for the last two weeks is something we’d have to discuss.” And now he straightens up, throwing his empty arms to the side. 

A few seconds later, I yelled, “You dipshit!” in a muffled grunt, keeping my voice down as much as I could handle and balling my fists in anger. 

His eyebrows shoot up and he huffs with his chest puffed out as he marches to me. I see the intent in his eyes, and I start walking away towards the opposite room closest, needing a minute not to lose my shit, and if I have to look into his stupid azure eyes like he wants to read everything passing through my mind, I’ll break.

“Don’t walk away from me,” he growls, and I shoot him a look over my shoulder as I shift my pace and head down the hallway to the bedrooms. “Y/N, stop being a stubborn ass and-”

“Unless you want a heel thrown at your head, and you’re welcome for being civil about this, I suggest you leave me alone,” I shout behind me, turn sharply to the left, and go to my room. 

“I don’t even know what THIS is! You looked at me like you wanted to kill me when I walked in, and I haven’t even talked to you today besides updates about work,” he said just as I slammed the door in his face. “Oh, real mature. Shut the door like an adolescent. Wait, I forgot. You are one…” He mumbles the last part and I hear him lean on the door.

Instantly, I whip the door open, and he doesn’t have time to predict his next move. He falls flat on his back on the wood floors of my room, only padded by a thin oriental rug I made Tony buy me. 

He’s winded from the fall and clutches his chest as I bend down next to him and say, “I said. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone.” I stare at him for a second, solidifying my threat. I stand to walk out and only give him a glance as I pass the doorway. 

_____________

Bucky’s POV:

I left her the fuck alone. 

I may have been royally pissed (that is a blatant ass understatement), but something about the look in Y/N’s eyes told me not to push unless I wanted to wake up with my head no longer attached to my body. 

I was too scared to leave her room in fear I’d run into her when she wasn’t ready and risk taking the chances of the guillotine earlier, so I sat on her bed and tried to rack my brain to where I slipped up to cause whatever the hell I walked in to…

I knew almost instantly and realized what a stupid, simple mistake it was. Bethanne asking me to dinner set her off, I knew. But her comment about talking with each other before making decisions told me my mistake. 

Something happened I didn’t know of, and I may have just fucked whatever it was up. As for what it is? No goddamn clue. But using context clues and just basic reading of the body language, Y/N had already made a plan, and I likely threw it out the window.

I heard footsteps before I could think further, and Y/N appeared in the doorway, taking a deep breath. She would have convinced me she was going to be civil if it wasn’t for her history, but I was curious to see which lane she chose. 

“One thing before I bite my tongue,” she says in almost a whisper, like she’s trying to keep her frustrations at bay. “You make me want to shave my head like Britney Spears in 2007 80% of the time. This moment was almost a tipping point for that kind of outcome...” She lets out a long breath like she passed the test of keeping it together. 

Surprisingly, a lot more tame than I was expecting. 

“Glad you got that out of your system. Now, please tell me what the hell happened?” I asked, keeping my guard up in case she resorted to her typical insults and fury. 

“Oh, now you want to communicate,” she mocks and walks to the bed, harshly sitting next to me but leaving a copious amount of space between us. 

I let it slide because I know she’s fighting bigger demons, like the urge to insult me, until I personally dig my own grave and say goodbye to my cruel reality. 

“Bethanne was goading us,” she answers, thankfully getting right to the point. “Something about her proposition seemed off, and I wanted to clear some things up with you before we jumped on the offer.”

I nodded my head, seeing that my instantaneous reply wasn’t thought out. That was on me, yes, but she also reacted extremely dramatically, expressing an odd feeling about the interaction instead of hard proof. 

“What did she ask, and what was off about it?” I question, trying to stay mission based because something seemed off still.

“It wasn’t what it was but how she was asking. Something in her tone and the way she was looking at our house and me. Like she was trying to take in detail after detail up close. Checking for cracks in the foundation,” she answers and turns to me just slightly. “She also said her kitchen was under renovation, and something felt off about it.” 

“The vibes about our neighbor getting a kitchen renovation made you knock the wind out of me when you opened your door?” I asked before I could think, but I didn’t budge, my furrowed eyebrows aimed at her. 

She matches my glare and turns her body fully to me. 

“It seemed like an excuse,” she answers slowly. 

“To what? Host a dinner? That’s kind of the opposite effect. Who would want to host a dinner when you have kitchen renovations? It means they trust us if they’re willing to let us see a house that’s not perfect like the front they put on.” 

"That’s what you get from it, but I think they just planted a little seed of their own.” 

“What do you even mean?”

“Kitchen Reno? That’s an excuse to say, ‘Oh, Charlotte, I can’t cook the chicken pot pie I was going to make for you two because our new oven hasn’t been delivered and installed yet. You know? Because we have the kitchen under renovation? I completely forgot,’” She acted in a convincing Bethanne impersonation and then quickly turned back to serious. 

“You got that from a kitchen reno comment?” I deadpanned after a minute. 

“I got that from understanding women masterminds who know how to manipulate a situation. I am that woman, so I think I can read them pretty well,” she says confidently back. 

Touché.

“And what if you’re wrong?” Her bitchface grew at my question. 

“First off, I’m not. Second off, even if I was wrong, we are supposed to consult each other about accepting invitations into the house of our suspect enemies,” she ran a hand through her hair, which I notice now looks styled differently. Did she curl it or have it blown out? And yes, I know what a blowout is. I have women friends and coworkers.

Yeah… I was in the wrong here, and that’s on me. I wasn’t thinking. I also had a long day snooping around for more information about this whole operation, but it isn’t necessarily an excuse… It’s not like  I haven’t worked on a case like this in the past. I mean, minus being fictitiously married to a coworker. 

“I’m sorry,” I say, and she gives me a weird look. “What?”

“I wasn’t expecting an apology,” she says, standing slowly and straightening her dress. 

“I know when to accept I made a mistake,” I shrug and stand as well. 

She studies my face like there's a retort that’s going to follow, but I just stare at her silently, communicating that I’m set on my apology. 

“Ok…” she drags out, watching me as she steps toward the door. “Well, I guess we need to get ready for tonight. Considering we have dinner. With our neighbors. And we need to set up bugs if possible.”

“Guess so,” I nod, crossing my arms. 

She stops suddenly and looks at me with a look of realization. “You’re in my room.” She steps to the side, leaving room for me to leave, and avoids eye contact. 

She’s still acting weird, but I need to change and get my head in the game for tonight, so I walk out with a subtle head nod as I leave.

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @death-unbecomes-you @mythos-writes​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​  @srrymydood​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @xa-dia​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @redhairedfeistynerd​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @morganclaire4​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @connie326​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @captain-asguard​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @teenagedreams-bucky @shower-me-with-roses​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @livstilinski @basicallylool​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @starryeyeseunbyul​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

My Lovelies Forever:

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Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @enchantedbarnes

Mr. & Mrs. Hunt Series:

@jackiehollanderr @mrs-bucky-barnes-73 @theroyalmanatee @wintrsoldrluvr @alexakeyloveloki @learisa @bxckybxrnes24 @lillianacristina @selella @heletsmelovehim

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Maybe a bit of a weird question, but which of the "duo becomes a trio" version do you prefer the most with sashannarcy?

Not a dumb question at all! I've actually been thinking about this ask a lot because I can't come up with a conclusive answer. I think all three possibilities are interesting, each bringing something different to the table.

Marcanne + Sasha puts Sasha in the uncomfortable initial position of being the third wheel for the first time in her life, kinda like in The Dinner, and I just know it would either drive her up the walls (if this is like... pre-redemption) or she'd be the biggest most supportive bestie who 100% wants her girls to be happy (post-redemption) even if the denial is killing her. Think... her behavior during Commander Anne, gritting her teeth and smiling and insisting on Anne being in charge. That's her here. It drives Anne and Marcy crazy when she makes excuses to not hang out because she doesn't want to get in the way, it's like they need to trick her by having one join the two later on in the outing, and even when she's having one-on-one quality time with one of them, she can't stop talking about their love life, as if saying, wouldn't you rather be with your girlfriend right now? Because I can leave. I can drive you to where she is and leave. I can pay for your dates even. And they're sick of it because they don't know how to let her know they're in love with her and want to date her too. She barely lets them get a word in, as if she's already made the decision for all three of them.

Bonus angst points if they think she's straight because they only ever saw her date boys and, you know, they don't want to gang up on their straight friend. Meanwhile Sasha never came out to them because she didn't want it to read as a romantic advance (-> a possibility that only exists in her head) and now it's too late because, well, obviously, they will think she's trying to get into their relationship or something. These three idiots, I tell you.

A younger Sasha would be a menace, though. Oh it would make her so mad. Biggest marcanne anti. She loves them too much to physically hurt them but she's get incredibly aggressive and keeps trying to exert control over them. Marcy reacts much more meekly than Anne, assuming Sasha just needs to be reassured she's not being left out, but Anne gets murderous like... she's had enough of Sasha's weird obsessions with power and control, and now she's trying to tell her fucking girlfriend what to do? She's always been protective of Marcy, and even if Marcy doesn't like it, it feels like she has to fight off a dragon for her with Sasha acting like this all of a sudden.

Angsty either way :D

Sashanne + Marcy is equally angsty for entirely different reasons. Marcy is a lot more passive, like, unless fffffucking Andrias outs her for shits and giggles during True Colors or something, I can see her keeping her feelings secret for years and years and years. She's just so happy to see Anne and Sasha getting along so well and being the best versions of themselves! Amphibia changed them for good. Her, though? She came back broken. She doesn't feel like a better version of herself, she just feels worthless. But it's fine! It's fine. Her friends still want her around, for some reason, even though she's so far away and they're dating and surely, they wouldn't want to spend every sleepover they have on videocall with her, right? Oh, silly Marcy, of course, they probably just have a lot of sleepovers they don't tell her about. Why should they, anyway? They're girlfriends. Marcy is... the old childhood friend who left years ago.

It IS a lot like her favorite mangas, though... her two childhood friends, turned hot (by highschool standards) popular girls... taking a liking to her? Nerdy little Marcy? She already lived through one anime plot and she barely made it out alive, she doesn't expect this to go anything like her fantasies. She knows better now. She'll just... love them from afar. They don't need to know.

Little did she know that Anne and Sasha spent one solid 1/3 of their time together looking at photos of Marcy and gushing over how cute she is. Admitedly, it took them a lot to admit to each other that they liked her. Like, surely that's practically cheating, right? It actually comes up after one of Marcy's visits to LA, in which she stayed in Anne's room for about a week, which pretty much meant a week-long sleepover to which Sasha invited herself to immediately.

It was a bit awkward. At first, Marcy found it cute that they didn't sleep together for her sake. They probably didn't want to make her uncomfortable. They were very thoughtful, but not enough to realize putting her in the middle only made it worse. The worst part is that all the cuddling was accidental, like, they were all pretty much turning their backs to each other when they went to sleep! Waking up all tangled up wasn't anyone's intention. Cue Anne awkwardly asking Sasha, as soon as Marcy is out of earshot, if it made her jealous that she's been spooning Marcy for the past few days, and if they should change their sleeping arrangements. Sasha is jealous but not for the reason Anne thinks.

Everything boils over... pretty much as soon as Marcy walks through the gates of the airport. They both feel like they're going to cause the end of their relationship right there and then but they just need to be honest with each other, and they're uttely delighted to learn they both feel the same way. That night, while on videocall with Marcy, cuddling together while seeing her get ready for bed in her cute little pajamas as she rambles about anime and whatnot, they fully admit to themselves how much they love her. It's an experience. Little whispers of "look at her!" and "she's so cute!" are shared.

They can't wait to have her back in their arms.

Sasharcy + Anne is an interesting case because I consider Anne a very good influence on the other two, and depending on the moment of their lives, they could be very very unhealthy and they may handle things terribly. Marcy would never think to speak a word of her feelings for Anne, and Sasha would overcompensate by being wayyy too possesive of Marcy. Like, she never had to manipulate or threated Marcy before, because she always went along with whatever she said, unlike Anne who tended to be more reluctant. Now though? There's no reason to boss Marcy around, but... but... no one can accuse her of being tempted to cheat if she accuses Anne of trying to steal her girl! Right? No one can accuse her of wanting to cheat if she accuses Marcy of wanting to cheat whenever she hangs out with Anne! She's looking deranged right here. Marcy freaks out when Sasha implies that, because she thinks she didn't hide her feelings well, she thinks Sasha saw right through her. Really, Sasha isn't seeing shit, she's just projecting. Anne, for her part, is incredibly turned off by these obsessive displays of possessiveness, like, jeez, if she ever thought she liked Sasha, this is making her change her mind. She's crazy. Dodged a bullet with this one. She still loves her but she's not even thinking about a relationship with this maniac atm. She does feel bad for Marcy - she loves her, and she doesn't want to get in between her and Sasha, but... but... this is her best friend. She doesn't want to see her like this. She ends up practically fighting Sasha over her, which makes Sasha's insecurity and Marcy's anxiety skyrocket. Oh no dear God, this is terrible, someone please stop them, they're eating each other alive.

If they're a bit older and healthier, the situation would be much different. I feel like Sasha and Marcy would understand each other in a way Anne might struggle a bit more to get, so they may actually confess their feelings relatively early, but they would also feel like they put Anne through soooo much already, that she doesn't deserve both her best friends lusting after her too. There's only so much Anne can put up with. Plus, they don't want to ruin things and lose her. They're happy together and they're happy to have Anne as their friend. It's okay. Even if they tease each other a lot whenever any of them has any one-on-one quality time with Anne. They like making each other flustered by bringing her up.

Anne starts to notice them acting weird around them, but whenever she asks if they're okay, they insists everything is fine, so she lets them be. She's relatively well-adjusted here, accepting her feelings while not acting on them because she doesn't want to get between them, but a lot of it is also just denial, y'know, it's no big deal. Okay, so she's in love with her two best friends, who are dating each other. But that's okay. They're happy. They're healthy. They're doing great. Both parties are in heavy denial and going nowhere. It's a mess.

Btw there's this wonderful fic by @glacecakes with a hanahaki disease premise about these three in this specific configuration, I highly recommend it!

Anyway yeah I don't know if I can pick one. The three possibilities are super interesting and they all lend themselves to different forms of angst and fluff and everything in between. If I HAD to choose... maybe Marcy joining sashanne? The idea of Sasha and Anne gushing over Marcy together is so endearing to me. But I love all three options. I need to find more fics with these general premises, damn.

[en-djinn]

Do you think Magus would ever have a pet? What kind of pet would it even have?

IT DOES!!!

and it puts out pillows for them all nd pets them i think he rly did love those things and the reason why i adore reborn magus sm is coz of all of that cz its. man. this is gonna be a whole thing. gotgv5 spoilers for magus' part in it at least. which isnt rly plot important bt just in case.

love. everything abt this. i actually hated gotgv5 as a whole bt this made literally being alive in general so worth it. idk how they fucked the rest of it but NAILED 100% this. i had already thought this abt magus anyway bt actually seeing it in the comics was unbelievably validating. wrt my own uhh. gender and identity stuff. (and i do have to sort of apologise for always bringing this up w magus bt its just completely unavoidable as uh. a kinnie. lol. u are gonna have to swallow that one fact abt me. and im not actually sorry at all <3) as in that magus is the personification of all things 'bad' within adam that he hated, right. he is, in every meaning of the word, a monster.

so it burning down the temple and killing everyone, letting the other monsters come out of the dark and reclaim the area... i think it means a lot. magus has had this sort of connection to other 'monsters' or misaligned creatures before

this is from the captain marvel stuff w genis vell and i hated his role in all of this and found it more than a little insulting tht its reduced to a villain of the week, bt i LOVED this dialogue. his entire identity (and mine) revolves around being something that other people hate. revelling in even just ur existence being taboo. so theres a sort of kinship to other things that are treated the same way. even if its not always actually nice abt it. real sees real type thing.

and of course the whole thing w the church and wanting ppls love and attention and wanting to stand Above anything warlock ever did. warlock is a pretty hated guy in general, and magus is the part of him that wants to be loved and worshipped. bt theres never a real connection there. theyre below him. its a relationship where he takes and does not give back. bt i think with fellow monsters, it might give something back. its companionship or time. it rly did seem to care abt those monsters. to me at least. treated them well. but pets are nice because theyre an unjudgemental presence. and to a pet, u are its entire world. so i think its that kind of thing.

which is to say. to finally get to the point. yes. i think magus would almost always have pets. and theyd always be some kind of 'ugly' or disliked creature. something that would never be tamed by anyone else. things tht are like itself. and i think itd be kinder to those than to any other sentient being.

[londonfoginacup]

Personal stream of consciousness around Liam and grief and moving forward

Every day I wake up and Liam is still dead. It continues to sort of feel like at some point I will wake up and that won’t be true, that he’ll be back, like he’s just on a trip right now. And I think that’s… a normal part of the grieving process, but it’s hard because it feels disrespectful, almost.

I only did 8 days of inktober this year. I had another ten sketched out already in my notebook, and now I wonder what to do with those. Some of them were good! (Some weren’t). I was older than Liam by a month or so, but for some reason I want to be able to go to him now, and show him those sketches, and say, I do art too! Aren’t you proud of me?

Death is a horrible and unnatural thing. It was never supposed to happen to us. We grieve because we were not made to lose people. We were made to love them forever. Grief is our body trying desperately to reconcile with a reality it was never made for. That is why it feels this way. We were not made for a life like this. We were made to hold one another in our arms. We were made to love each other. We were made for more.

I want to tell him that. That he was made for more than he got. I hope someday I can.

When tumblr started having polls, I always voted the Liam option, and in part that was because I love Liam and I would’ve chosen him regardless. But in part it was with the thought that, if he were to ever snoop on our community here, I wanted Liam to see that he had people in his corner. I don’t regret that. I’m sad it’s all I could do.

I was thinking about it earlier. About One Direction. I tried to slice it so many ways and I came to the conclusion that Liam and Louis are the ones that I think were the heart. I think 1D could’ve come back together to tour, make music, and so on, as long as it had at least those two. 1D could never exist without Liam. It just couldn’t. He loved them too much.

Obviously, I haven’t turned my queue back on. I haven’t felt right reblogging current day stuff about the boys. It feels like turning that back on will indicate being ready to move on, to some extent. And okay, I’ll never be ready so there’s that. But. The idea of turning it back on doesn’t feel right. Not yet.

That being said, I started last month preparing for Christmas. For the 25 days of fic rec I do, and the advent fic. And of course cards. I had decided just a week before Everything Happened that I couldn’t afford to do physical cards this year. And I feel ten times more guilty about that decision now, because it feels like surely people NEED that! But I am also trying to be realistic with myself; so many wonderful people have offered to help financially, and any other time I think I would’ve taken them up on that, but right now the emotional and mental weight of doing physical cards might also be too heavy.

Which, again, makes me feel like I’m letting people down when they need me. If I could, I would send all of you personalized letters every day. It is so hard to reckon with the knowledge that I am only human and must take care of myself.

But I will do the fic recs. that’s easy; I’ve already finished the post graphics.

And I will do the advent fic (I might change my plot— the original one didn’t have a lot of Liam, but i think I need him there more).

And I will make some sort of digital cards for sure. It occurred to me this year that I never put my paper dolls online anywhere and I sort of wonder why not. At least maybe this will be a treat for anyone too wary of sending a stranger online their address— all of you can print th paper dolls for yourselves. I’ll make plenty of outfits.

So. That’s my plan, I suppose. I’ve cried writing this more than I’ve cried all week, I think because it’s easy to think that I am past the worst of the grieving right up until I have to look head on at the facts again.

I miss him. I miss him. How could this happen.

[loopyboom666]

How come Nightstar hasn't had any more appearances on comic media? She only exists on Earth-22 and the other characters from Kingdom Come are already coming back.

Hello anon!! Thanks for your question!!!! Actually, it's been bothering me for a while too.

And I hate (I HATE) to disagree with you a bit, because Nightstar did appear for a few minutes on Titans...

(Fun fact, I don't like Titans, but I used to be active online when season 3, I think, was announced. They said something about a Dickkory plot-twist, and I said that if it was Nightstar, I'd watch Titans from S1 to Nightstar's appearance. I didn't do it.)

Also, this:

Yeap, she appeared on ttg... wowza...

BUUUUUUT, I DON'T TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU (actually, I completely agree, but have to disagree due to proof)

Nightstar is a wasted potential!!! I talked about it once, she's not just "Dickkory's child", she has a plot.

This is the main thing ☝️

She could've been the leader of the titans, she could've been "THE HERO WHO STOPPED THE END OF HER WORLD" (that's true)

Also this ☝️ (These texts are really short, if you want to know more of my opinions you can give it a quick scan)

Anooother time she came back was in the comics Titans 1999. I can't tell you about the quality of the comics because I haven't read them. I can, nevertheless, tell you that I was... a little bit disappointed with Nightstar... (I only read this 3 issues)

I believe the only comics that got Nightstar as a character were "Kingdom come" (her first appearance and her creator's view) and "Nightstar" (literally her solo comic of just one issue).

(This is a panel from The Kingdom which comes with a set with Nightstar's solo comic)

IF you read the Titans' panel I put before, you'll see that literally, Nightstar acts the complete opposite on this one. Here's another example of canon Nightstar acting the complete opposite of Titans Nightstar:

And supposedly she was the same character (from the same universe).

Also the decision of not making her the leader will always bother me for 2 main reasons. 1, she was written as one:

And 2, the Nightstar's titans on Titans 1999 (excuse the redundancy) are the titans presented on KC like this:

Each one of them represent the og teen titans, and in this case, Nightstar is representing Robin (leader of every teen titans there is to exist)

Okay, after everything I've just said you can conclude 2 things: Alejandra is crazy and she just spend a lot of time not even answering the main question. Or 2, Nightstar has somehow, due time perhaps, been deteriorating herself to the point DC writers only use her for the whole: "She's Dickkory's child!".

AND BACK TO ANON, DC HAS BEEN TRYING TO ERASE DICKKORY AT ALL COST, WHICH MIGHT BE ONE OF THE REASONS SHE ISN'T ON COMIC MEDIA ANYMORE.

Extra, they had the chance to bring her back (we all thought she did) but it was a fake new (I Am Not Starfire) and am I glad it wasn't her!!

So, my conclusion. I want my Nightstar back! But knowing DC's new writing management, I just know I'll suffer and will probably see a Nightstar like Starfire on her awful solo comic from 2015 (fun fact, is my first Starfire comic 😓😨), or she'll become background like on Titans (the TV show). Either ways, I'd rather write her by myself tbh. I might be a lousy writer, but I rather she was the Nightstar I made than anything tbh.

[carionto]

Pressure and Release

Human: *hmm-ing at a set of dials and gauges*

Alien: What seems to be *translation unit catches up with the information they're displaying* OH MY GOD IT'S GOING TO EXPLODE!!! GET TO THE ESCAPE PODS NOW!!!!

H: Shh, it's fine, I'm just experimenting.

A: OH MY GOD WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE HORRIBLY!

H: Hey! Rude. *turns a dial causing a loud hissing noise* It's just air compressors and hydraulics.

A: *due to not dying, is beginning to relax* Why do you need up to 200 atmospheres running through these systems. We have invented alloy-specific magnetization mechanisms. Please, why do you keep insisting on these volatile and explosive means?

H: *turns the dial up* Because... *releases the pressure again, loud sudden hissing sound again* That's a cool sound.

A: Just because you think something is 'cool' doesn't make it-

H: *interrupts with another air build up and release sound without breaking eye contact*

A: *leaves*

H: *continues to play around*

_________________________________________

Okay, so I wanna get this off my chest. I find myself now for the fourth time starting a fun little activity, doing it for months on end, having a blast, and then almost suddenly dropping it entirely. First time I wrote some short stories or something every day for about six months and put it on deviantart. Then some longer form stuff started cropping in, sort of continuous narratives or whatever, and I stopped. Second was running a open D&D campaign with a persistent world but ever changing party, each session a sort of one-shot with a decision that would impact the whole world and what future sessions would exist. Not even 10 sessions in I felt under pressure to continue and build upon what I had already and just couldn't and stopped. Third was another kind of TTRPG, this time running my own server for Lancer. Again, open one shots, but less connected and I would hopefully get some of the players to want to run their own games within this freeform framework that I directly lifted from a D&D server I was in, even had some of the same people join as players. Few months later, I felt this massive pressure from myself to run games and come up with new scenarios that I just froze up. I cancelled game after game and just eventually abandoned the server and the resources I had made. Fourth time was here on tumblr itself. Back to writing some short form stuff on a fairly regular basis, almost daily for some time even. Had a blast, and then longer form content started creeping in. I thought I wanted to write some stories with an overarching plot and recurring characters and connected storylines, build up and pay off, that sort of thing. Again, I created this massive pressure by myself for myself of myself to do something I apparently can't. I created this sense of expectation of myself "Well, I started this, I should finish it, but where do I go, what do I do, how can I connect this?" And then this self-inflicted pressure got to me, again. And I stopped.

What I have known for a while, but couldn't put into words is that I don't want to tell a big long epic story or anything like that. I don't have one of those in me and forcing something like that only makes me shrivel up and run away. I have a world, several in fact, in my mind. Entire continents of a low fantasy character driven political intrigue and drama based world with tons of rules and restrictions, thousands of years of history, strong personalities for the main actors and so many individual scenes with them and the supporting cast, and a timeframe for when the overarching story happens and how it ends. But no story itself. Just scenes. I have a high fiction sci-fi world, again, with very distinct factions and races, most of the details I have written out back when I was a teen in a physical notebook with pen and pencil. Lots of historical points and events, how the races work, their domains if you will, near magical powers I try to explain with plausible science. Tons of specific details. Even drew each of their common symbols, how one of the languages is structured, schematics of how their cities are planned, and details on other planets in the system and how those might be important later. But, not a single individual character or story. Just dry facts. And then we have the loose sci-fi world I've created here. Bunch of different angles and perspectives, some comedic, some more serious, even put Cthulu in there. Many short and mostly self-contained stories and episodes of various humans doing things an exaggerated version of humanity would do. There is potential for a number of expanded and longer form stories here, some I attempted, and as mentioned, what ultimately made me stop. I don't have a book in me, and I don't want to write one. I just like to write little snippets and I want to get myself to accept this idea that, no, it does not need to become more than that. Because every time I start going down a path where it feels like it should be more than a one page thing, I seize up, start thinking that I need to do this, panic when I can't come up with anything, go silent, and give up. It just does not work for my brain. And that's fine.

[mgarmagedon]

Okay my Transformers Earthspark season 2B review!!!

There will be spoilers, skip it if you don't want any spoilers

I won't repeat myself about topics I already talked about like Hashtag, plot holes, graphics that give me nightmares, etc.

So... you can be surprised but most of the episodes weren't making me instantly mad! Ik, ik, it's shocking, but yeah, main cause of it is Prowl! Like every episode that he was in was entertaining enough to foucs me on what was happening and not make me think about all the fucking filler and waste of potential is happening in background XDD

But before we go to this part, let's start from the beginning! 3 first ep of this part of a season were just straight up fucking filler. Like those eps were so boring and unimportant that while i was writing a review of it on my instagram yesterday I needed to rewatch first episode, because I forgot what was happening there XDDD like omg every ep before Prowl showed up was so useless and waste of time!!! Like they could use it for like idk STARSCREAM DEVELOPMENT WHICH THEY STARTED IN SEASON 1, RUINED IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SECOND AND DID NOTHING LATER WITH IT

But lets go to the fun part uwu which is ep where Prowl shows up, like he and Megatron are holding this fucking shit show on their shoulders every scene they are in XD

Like Prowl is such a funny racist bitch, I'm kinda sad that they forgot that Tarantulus exist and never do something with him and Prowl, like that would be so cool if Prowl was anti hero, not a villain... but him being funny racist learning that he should respect other ppl is ig cool???

I still fucking can't believe that his figure is repainted cyberverse Roddi

And second is Megan, which is serving (not in design way), every scene that she shows up in is just melting my heart, because he is such a cute grandpa for Twitch (he is not her fucking father figure, he is elder man which is taking care of youngling, which means he is grandpa for hair >:(((()

I can only put one video in the post so I only show you this, but like OMG he is stealing the fucking show, every fucking scene he calls her 'little bird' one child rids off the daddy issue

But let's come back to rest of the stuff, which means: too many fucking characters.

Like there is so much characters that they have almost 0 time do develop or even talk, like yet Grimlock showed up only in zombie ep for longer than 10 seconds in season overall, and doesn't even talk XDD

Or Starscream situation, like for sure focusing on terrans having troubles with Robby's alien date was more important than Screamer reliving the trauma of being left by everyone and getting crazy to the point he is talking to corpses... IT'S NOT IMPORTANT AT ALL

And I don't even wanna know what they will do with this giant bitch which they woke up in the end...

ANYWAY Season 2B is getting 5/10 score, which is the highest for Earthspark yet!

It's like buying from the Shein, you think it looks cute and cool, but turns to dust while you put it on your ass.

Ah and this one pic I made a while ago is still really valid

Ah and Izzy is bad villain like bad not in evil way just bad

[six-eyed-samurai]

Hello! I'd like to preface this by saying that I wasn't sure if you write for Rudo or not, but since I see him as around Muichiro's age, I figured it would be alright; if not, feel free to ignore this!

If it is alright though, I wanted to request Rudo befriending and developing a crush on another boy who's apart of the Cleaners who gets angry as easily as Rudo but tends to be more reserved and silent about it. Thank you so much, and I hope you have a good day! :)

SUMMARY: Rudo discovers a new method of dealing with anger.

A/N: Nope I have never written for Rudo before but how hard can it possibly be! I hope you enjoy emotionally constipated and in denial Rudo, my beloved baked bean ;)))) I used to watch Fresh Off The Boat a lot so I hope someone! Anyone! CATCHES THE EMERY REFERENCE!

WARNINGS: Male reader, RUDO IS A MINOR AND SO ARE YOU.

🌸First meeting is a disaster.

🌸Picture this: you're walking down the hallways to the gallery after a great day's work, intending to gorge yourself into a sugar stupor on the secret stash of candy you've been squirreling away for months, where no one else can find them (epic side eye at Dear, who eats the whole stock of candy and only leaves you the nasty liquorice). That's odd, there's no one around but you feel like someone is nearby.

🌸Meh, probably nothing.

🌸NEVER MIND NOT NOTHING IS THAT A BALLOON IS THAT AN ANIMAL IS THAT SOME NEW EVOLVED CONVULATED MONSTROUS DEMONIC TRASH BEAST FORM

🌸WHAT. WHAT IS THAT FLOATING DOWN THE CORRIDOR.

🌸Whatever it is it's going to be Nijiku's problem now - you're out of here, speeding your way to the gallery and whatever you saw was probably some pre-diabetes hallucination. Not your circus, not your monkeys. You sneak in and hunt around for where you put the stash.

🌸It. It's. It's gone?

🌸It's gone!

🌸IT'S GONE.

🌸If "tweaking out" existed on the ground, that would be you. You stand there, frozen and in denial, even if your body is already responding to this outrageous betrayal by the literal steam pouring out of your ears, the murderous aura overtaking you, the black evil shadowing your face-

🌸Are you being unreasonable, childish, overreacting? No. No one could possibly understand how long you had been saving up, how carefully you had hidden them all away, only to keep being cheated of your dragon's hoard every time. Will it help to know that this whole time you've actually never even gotten a bite out of it?!

🌸"Who ate it?" Your voice is calculatingly nonchalant, deadly, coldly, flatly, kind as you twist your head to look at the only one left at the scene. Dear glared at you balefully and pointed.

🌸Due to a series of unfortunately timed coincidences you had never actually met the new recruit - the Spherite Giver. You felt your eye twitch.

🌸Spherite Giver Enemy, now. Unluckily for him you had run out of ice cream jars to scream, vent, rage into.

🌸It took you a while to track down Rudo, formulate the perfect confrontation plan and plot how to corner him, however, because paperwork and Trash Beasts did not wait around for you to finish your revenge. Again getting directions from Dear, you eventually found Rudo, along with Enjin, Zanka and Riyo, probably training him to use his newfound Jinki powers...too many people about and it was probably important. But you could care less.

🌸A wanted criminal is a wanted criminal!

🌸Not caring who was watching you march up right to the bug eyed boy and grabbed his shoulders in a death grip, pure unadulterated fury in your eyes despite your smile. "Hi, I don't believe we've met. But you stole something from me, so too bad we can't be friends now!"

🌸I think the both of you only stopped fighting because a) Rudo accidentally activated a Vital Instrument and you're not a Giver or b) Riyo convinces Enjin and Zanka to actually do something!! Stop eating popcorn!!

🌸 You're immediately ashamed of yourself and with a mumbled apology you quickly take leave. Now that your anger was over - damn, what a childish and silly thing to be so worked up about...and a bad impression on the newbie as well... you're supposed to be the quiet, reserved, super nice Supporter! Now he'll just know you as the psycho who bashed him upside on the head for what, a few grams of sugar?

🌸You make up your mind to avoid Rudo until it blows over (aka he forgets who you are) but much to your horror he approaches you the next day with something monstrously demonic on his face - is that supposed to be a smile?!

🌸You wait the surely inevitable explosion but all Rudo does is thrust a package into your hands and mutter mutter mutter.

🌸"Um, I'm sorry, what?"

🌸"For you. Since I ate your candies."

🌸What a beautiful start to a beautiful friend(relation)ship!

🌸You would never say this to Enjin's condescending face but it's nice to have someone your age around. You can goof off and be immature without worrying about being that kid amongst adults. Rudo is funny, in his own way - although turdface is getting a little overused.

🌸Boys will be boys, Semiu remarked dryly, watching the two of you venture off to go dig around for trash or whatever.

🌸Contrary to your initial behaviour Rudo finds you to be a really nice guy, always willing to lend a hand or just a smile. You're so chill it's actually unbelievable. If he was the one who got spilt food on his shoes, or had to deal with really annoying people thinking they could boss around the Cleaners, or everyone constantly stealing from your candy stash, or the catcalls on the Supporters being useless, or the one having to clean up after everyone's mess....yeah, he didn't think he could go a day without raging (tweaking). How did you continue to smile and laugh it off?

🌸Rudo desperately wants to know your secret.

🌸 You're just as motivated and angry as him all the time, you defended yourself when he cornered you one day to ask. Then show it!! Why!! Are!! You!! Hiding!! It!!

🌸Because you're afraid it'll inconvenience everyone. If you let off steam so frequently it'd cause so many problems and you would probably make a lot of unintentional conflict, plus enemies if you're lucky. So it's just easier to let it simmer down and be more reserved about it, yeah?

🌸Okay then what do you do to cool off? Rudo wants to know (you more) how maybe...he can use your method as well and not be so...um...

🌸"Well..."

🌸Under your bed are several old jars lying around. They're clean, but they've clearly been used before and one had a crack in the rim. What do jars have to do with anything? You're happy to demonstrate screaming your fury into them and confess occasionally, when you're feeling especially angry, you throw them against the wall and sweep up the glass. Which probably explained the scratches in the paint and the stack of lids without jars.

🌸 Damn...Rudo had no idea this side of you existed...

🌸"You should try it!"

🌸Your grin is Cheshire and spreading from ear to ear as you toss him a jar. You sheepishly tell him no one knows you've been doing this for years. That's wild. He's flattered he's the first. He's flattered you and him are such good friends.

🌸Then you sling an arm around him and jokingly start listing out some really memorable times between you and the jars. Talking with you is easy, natural, like the whole thing was already planned beforehand and he was reading a familiar script in a favourite drama.

🌸Your fist comes up to bump his shoulder in a middle of an inside joke and Rudo doesn't really notice the way his heart skipped a beat and his ears flush a little. No, he only noticed how hyped aware he was, suddenly, of the distance between the both of you - or the lack thereof.

🌸 He's fifteen and at that age, do you really know friend from love? He's new to this, do you think he knows how he feels for you like he felt for Chiwa? Not really. He only knows that he just has to give you that little trinket he found one day in the trash piles that you'd definitely get all excited over, once he fixes it up and gives it a new life.