#i think maybe I’m just a bad person | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

beemintty · 2 months ago

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am i a bomb?

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adhdandcomics · 3 months ago

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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:

does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies

#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked #has been just so. mean about it #not even intentionally #not always at least #but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things #that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person #ever had #this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame #idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it #see it as a personal choice to be late #and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t #you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general #and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices #it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for #bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing #and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves #and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else #there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month

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aesdi · 2 months ago

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the tragedy of James and Mary Sunderland is one of the most heartbreaking and (most importantly) human stories I’ve ever had the joy in witnessing

#they are just two amazingly complex characters #especially James but that’s mostly cause he’s the protagonist #and maybe because I’ve experienced and witnessed the burnout that comes with being a caregiver to someone but it’s just so human to me #and then the guilt you feel when that person passes (even if the circumstances were different) it hits hard #I’m also frustrated that James gets boiled down to the guy who killed his wife #the whole game is exploring WHY he did that and how much he regrets it #and how good people can do bad things #there’s no black and white to sh2 it’s all foggy shades of grey #sorry about the tangent in my own tags #i just think James is neat #like a bug under a microscope #james sunderland #mary shepherd sunderland #silent hill 2 #silent hill 2 remake #silent hill

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artsymeeshee · 5 months ago

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one of those nights

#small vent #lately I’ve been questioning things a lot #and this overwhelming feeling of being lonely takes over #and I question myself and my feelings and thoughts on certain things #sometimes i end up thinking im a bad person #the guilt i feel because I don’t do ship art gets overwhelming sometimes #and i end up feeling like an asshole because of it #but I genuinely just can’t (at least not for the gf fandom)#family and platonic moments are just way too important to me #which might explain a small desire wanting to have that but unable to #maybe it’s the aroaceness in me idk #it just gets really lonely sometimes in your own corner #i’m sorry #I know things like this can be annoying but I needed to vent #some more light-hearted things hopefully soon #delete later

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thechosenthree · 11 days ago

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#natalie scatorccio #shauna shipman #shaunanat #jackienat #jackieshauna #jackieshaunanat #shauna x nat #jackie x nat #jackie x shauna #yellowjackets #*#i’m obsessed with this moment. earlier in the episode we see nat sitting outside just staring at jackie’s bones. she’s clearly been thinkin #this over. that they can’t just leave her there. a visual reminder of what they did. making them all feel sick #that jackie deserved better. that in death. even now that she’s just bones. she deserves a burial or something. and nat takes initiative.#comes up with a plan and shares it with the group. but even then she looks to shauna for permission or maybe reassurance? maybe it’s out of #respect. they all remember how shauna reacted when it was initially suggested they get rid of jackie’s body. this is hard on all of them #jackie’s death and what they did. but they all know it’s affecting shauna the most.#maybe nat is even hoping shauna will want to help or that someone else besides natalie is feeling the way she is. that she won’t have to do #this alone. that someone else wants to honor jackie or feels as sick as she does about it. and they clearly do!! so many of them feel that.#i mean maybe only shauna and taissa are feeling it as strongly as she does? but shauna is kind of in shock and sick with guilt and grief an #in no place to meet nat half way here. she’s retreating into herself. and tai doesn’t even remember eating jackie. think she’s still #processing that it even happened. that they all aren’t lying to her. and also dealing with the knowledge that she’s having memory gaps.#dissociating. so nobody that is present there with natalie is feeling the way she is. lottie seems to think it was necessary for their #survival (probably true and nat even tells jackie’s bones as much.) but lottie doesn’t seem to be feeling guilty and when she takes a mug #out to natalie while she’s wrapping the bones. nat seems angry at the way lottie is handling it. and travis offers to go with her but it #reads to me like he is worried about nat specifically and not that he’s feeling that bad about what happened. i think nat is just feeling s #alone in this episode. and the one person that gets that is shauna but she’s just not in an actionable state. just tells nat to take the #lead. dismisses responsibility in a way. she just can’t handle thinking about it. that last look nat gives shauna just feels soooo loaded.#like maybe there’s a little bit of judgment there. also likely worry. maybe understanding. idk maybe i am extrapolating and making shit up #but i just found this scene so fascinating.

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cruel-hiraeth · 12 hours ago

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part of jing yuan’s irresistible allure—in the bedroom, particularly—is how versatile he is. some may interpret his flexibility as boredom or laziness, both of which are far from the truth; in reality, he has simply sated the sexual curiosities of his youth, so is repertoire is vast. what he craves more than anything in the cosmos is intimacy and connection, which is exactly what you give him. and his open approach allows you room to explore your deepest desires without judgement—so long as you can clearly voice said desires (he is a scoundrel, after all).

#i have a few scenarios in mind where you’re embarrassed to ask him to do something #but there’s never anything to be embarrassed about #he may tease you for not being straightforward #but he would never judge you or make you feel bad for your kinks/fetishes/fantasies/etc.#i’m sure he has subtle preferences but idk i truly truly believe that he’s so accommodating #it just…clicks with his personality and circumstances #and maybe it’s the romantic sap within me but. i see him being most turned on by love and devotion rather than specific acts #he has seen so many people live and die…#(in my mind anyway)#so meeting His Person (whether you are a long-lived species or not) is kind of enough to get him going LOL #which now that i think of it is very soft yan but i see him as an indulgent king #— musings #— jing yuan #— honkai star rail

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hplonesomeart · 1 month ago

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Hey. Sorry about the inactivity, but pretty sure no one cared that much anyways lol. Been a looooong time since I kept that distant from Tumblr…at least now I know I’m able to survive without checking posts every day/being chronically online! I’ve got an intense love-hate relationship with this lifestyle I’ve dug myself into. Think I’m getting a little bit better with the balance even if school isn’t really giving me an option. Got a load of work I need to keep catching up on if I don’t want to disappoint my professors. We’ll survive somehow. Here take a quick batch of Puzzle doodles k bye

#the hell am I so anxious about? maybe it’s just overstimulation stuff #hoping it’ll die down because I can’t keep enjoying myself when I’m like this #seriously is starting to mess with my flight responses over the tiniest things #like yea obviously I needed to stay logged out of Tumblr so I would focus more on schoolwork #but uhhhh gonna be transparent and say a huge part of it is the jolts of anxiety :(#like even the thought of logging back here has caused me to feel like sweating #my brain kept saying ‘no I don’t want to I can’t do that’ even when I felt bad for missing out on others posts #like I want to be here so I can support my mutuals dammit!!!#I’m a mess. I’m such a broken mess oh great lovely spectacular #maybe the culminating stress of final exam deadlines is worsening stuff as well #I can’t tell you why I’m like this I just am 🙃#anyways thinking I’ll start adapting to the distance. Sorry but being a shut-in is more appealing right now #I just need time to be with myself and not be so invested in the lives of others #anyways what’s something mildly positive I can wrap this up with so I don’t seem pathetic….#ah yes the final Puzzle sketch here was drawn today before a class period #one of my fellow classmates noticed and audibly asked me ‘is that Mr. Puzzles?’#IT TOOK EVERTHING IN MY WILLPOWER TO NOT LET OUT A GIDDY SHRIEK #Felt like my eyes bulged and I jolted in enthusiasm jskjsksp spontaneous happiness?? actally experiencing the feeling of fitting in??#anyways I responded with a very normal ‘WAIT YOU KNOW ABOUT HIM???’ while trying to suppress grinning or going ‘teehee’#anyways now it’s my personal mission to keep initiating conversations with her because AUUUUUGH SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS I’M LOSING IT #proceeded to talk about Murder Drones & TADC like holy SHIT I didn’t think I would ever find animation peeps in my psychology class auuu 😭💜#it’s a MIRACLE man this may be a sign that college won’t be isolating anymore yaaaaayyy #PUZZLE IS SINGLE HANDILY HELPING ME TALK TO PEOPLE BOTH ONLINE AND IRL THIS IS WILD #all hail the best comfort character seriously holy shit—like imagine she never noticed me drawing Puzzles!! I’D STILL BE LONELY AS HELL #okay sorry I’ll stop typing like a teenager and go back to pretending to be well-versed in speech & conducting myself ‘normally’ :3 #doodles #sketches #hplonesome art #not tagging with Puzzles because hahaaaaa don’t look at me

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angelic-waffles · 2 months ago

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As a guy who’s pretty fuckin mentally ill and has some occasional violent urges from it, I really really love the found family creepypasta he’s cannons

Best way I can explain it is that most of the time I feel like a monster due to mental conditions and intense intrusive thoughts. So because of that, seeing characters who have similar problems (obviously acted upon which, no I wouldn’t k!ll someone but you know what I mean) and who are able to find others like them, becoming close and realizing your problems don’t rob you of you humanity??? Ough I could die happy

#idk I’m BPD and projecting probably #but this really just makes me feel so seen as just someone who society has called a monster for things I didn’t choose and can’t control #I still remember when I first talked to someone who related about my BPD and intrusive thoughts #after years of thinking I was some villain who deserved to be punished #years of thinking I was the only one #my friend talked about having similar problems. It was such an impactful moment to finally realize someone like me was out there and they #weren’t a bad person. Not at all. And I realized maybe if they were amazing despite this- maybe I wasn’t a monster #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #crp #crp fandom

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snowflake-sage · 2 months ago

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Pretty proud of how far I’ve come this year

#I have struggled with crippling anxiety for a long time and this year I really wanted to overcome it and become more independent #like #I used to be absolutely terrified of leaving the house #things like driving and going places alone would make me have crazy panic attacks #but this year I’ve done a lot and I’ve overcome a lot and gained so much confidence #I’ve flown across the country twice this year #driven on some pretty intimidating roads like the highway and freeway #gone on solo bike rides for miles through the woods #eaten tons of new foods #I know those sorts of things might seem very simple and normal everyday things #but I have ocd and it can make my anxiety pretty bad #it can also make a lot of my fears rather irrational #likes like trying new foods and going new places are genuinely intimidating for me #bc it makes me feel like I’m going to die lol #but I’ve done ALOT of things I was scared to do #I’ve come along way #and it may seem like boring basic stuff to some people #but considering I couldn’t leave my house two years ago without panicking to the point of losing feeling in my hands and feet #I think I did pretty good lol #I’m starting to feel like a confident person again #I’m starting to feel like I can LIVE again #and it’s pretty nice #just wanted to write this out somewhere lol that’s all #maybe it will be helpful for anyone struggling in similar ways #to see that improvement is possible #lol anyways happy November #mae rambles

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shorthaltsjester · 2 months ago

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people talking about how it’s because they didn’t know if they’d get a s4 that they pulled punches in the s3 finale of tlovm…. you get that that’s still shitty right. you get that that’s them openly stating they chose a weaker narrative beat in the story they’d like to create in case it ends up being a story that’s cut short. like. it Is incredibly rough out there for shows on streaming rn don’t get me wrong i know that but. i don’t know that the answer is “let’s write something narratively weaker but more satisfying if we get cancelled”

#sometimes these guys gotta just. stop talking in these round table things. openly flaunting that the writing is not good.#and i say this as a Bad writer. i’m not saying don’t create things like #things can be bad and loved and worth making #but oh boy. ‘we didn’t know this characters arc until we’d written the whole season and we went back and rewrote everything’#idk if that’s how that works in an Ensemble show.#if you can rewrite the scenes for One character and think it won’t effect the rest of the characters. maybe you’re not doing ensemble well #this is a separate but related issue alas.#my point is i think tlovm’s writing is it’s weakest point by far. and as a character arcs first person. that makes it rough out here for me #tlovm

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calamitydaze · 2 years ago

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tbh “people hear about legitimate dream fuckups and it colors their worldview to exaggerate and misconstrue harm in everything he does” is just the opposite side of the coin to “fans hear about dream being legitimately fucked over and treated badly and it raises their defenses to react to every perceived slight like a personal betrayal” literally nobody is capable of being normal about that man

#bella talks #while the former is worse on twitter i think the latter is worse here #because we’re so close knit and self contained so one person getting (maybe reasonably) upset about something #can spiral into the whole dash dooming #and i’m not saying it’s never warranted— while the q hate spiraled a little out of control i think it was mostly proportional #but then we also get things like karl dropping the panel #(in fairness from what *i* saw it wasn’t as bad as how i see people acting but maybe my dash is just well curated #and i have a higher tolerance for d.tblr shenanigans than most people i think)#like i really don’t mind if people get a little rowdy LMAO it doesn’t bother me but it does make the overall environment more toxic

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whitmore · 1 year ago

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listen this may be a hot take that’s okay i’m fine with that i just feel that the @everyone main tag fandom vagueposts about sending admins hate and/or targeting ccs is . abyssal nonsense to post to tumblr. like you’re not wrong im not disagreeing with any of you— it just feels fruitless to post that on a website where none of us have direct contact with any admins or creators. if you see it in the main or side tags feel free to call it out, i think we should be doing that, but like the aimless vagueposting is not only reductive but directly adding to the negativity you’re trying to combat

#eleanor.txt #qsmp #i feel bad for even putting this in main tag but it’s like. at the same time i do want the tag to be a nice space #correct me if i’m wrong and there’s admins that are being targeted here but like. idk post ur post on twitter maybe #and this isn’t me trying to excuse qsmpblr we have issues of our own just. those aren’t our issues i don’t think #plus maybe my blocklist just works real well but i personally don’t see any excessive hate or negativity or anything #willing to be wrong on this one maybe we really need the callout or something idk. did we do something #this isn’t even discourse this is just blogging and it also feels like nobody knows the difference here. THATS one of our real issues

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madaqueue · 4 months ago

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i only cried once today after being yelled at/scolded for two hours straight!!!!! i would like my hug and pat on the head for being so good now please!!!!!!!

#technically i did cry one more time when i got home lmao #but like IT WAS MY FIRST DAY #AND MY FIRST DAY DOING ALL THESE THINGS #and i kept getting scolded for not knowing how to do stuff when it was a) literally my first time #and b) the person who was upset with me was SUPPOSED TO TRAIN ME #BUT THEY DIDNT #instead they just kept saying ‘you’re doing that wrong’#without ever showing me how to do it right #:(( like it’s your job to teach me!!!!#also they ignored me the entire morning like literally didn’t introduce themself or even say hi #and i am a VERY like outgoing/bubbly person irl #but i also need positive feedback or i will crumble to pieces #and i hate being made to feel stupid when i wasn’t taught something #like if you show me how to do it ill do it perfect the next time!!!#but expecting me to know something without being taught is impossible and setting us both up for failure #bleh sorry for ranting :(( bad day for quinn lmao #anyways i’m gonna eat some chocolate and do some homework and think about kissing gojo and maybe things will be better #i am accepting hugs and pats on the head though #because i was very brave (didn’t audibly cry in front of others)#q speaks

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hanzajesthanza · 5 months ago

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dandelion is indeed the worst but if he’s not present in the next book i would legitimately be sorrowful as the whole thing will become a slog . you basically cannot have the “short stories” era-of-the-timeline iteration of geralt without dandelion, it would be like eating unbuttered bread.

though it’s not like season of storms did them dirty, i wasn’t disappointed with it (… with regards to them), but since it’s literally been over 20 years since the saga was finished i’m trying to prepare for any potential reality

#however i will accept an absence of dandelion IN THE CASE OF we get to see geralt and yennefer living together in vengerberg #but if it’s regular geralt day in the life then if dandelion’s not there it’s gonna suuuuuccckk #i mean as in geralt’s life sucks without him. badly #and it also? sucks with him. good-ly.#it’s august and we don’t have a title yetttt 🥲 and they said 2024 … hmhm sure #i just feel like rupaul ‘and don’t fuck it up’.gif #like i’m excited but also wtf? new witcher book? are we on punk’d?#it’s not going to be the best but i’m hoping it will be at least as good as season of storms. not a high bar ok!#this from the person who was optimistic about the n*tflix show. don’t trust me i like to believe in the future #i was going to say ‘and i trust sapkowski more than i trust n*tflix’ and then i laughed.#i don’t trust him—i don’t even trust the version of him from the 90s and 00s!#one side of me can’t believe i’m still here after the guardswomen of kerack. and the ‘well i’m only gay for clout’ villain motivations #the other side of me is intensely curious wtf geralt will get up to this time and how witcher could maybe even denigrate further #but season of storms ending was actually good and = well it’s not like sapkowski forgot what it was about #then again it’s been 10 years and a bad adaptation since then so im biting my nails #all i ask : please stick with the naming convention of the other books. i don’t want to write an absurdly long or short name or acronym out #sooooo weird that in a few months i will be saying: there are 9 witcher books.#actually rn i just say there’s 7 and discount season of storms as a legitimate heir but mention it as footnote lol #i just hope i can survive until this new book and until its translation LOLLLL #they said translation in 2025 but you know the track record #new book: *releases winter 2024* | english translation: coming 2045!#jk i think they finally figured out that witcher is a money printer so they will be eager to translate it now and not waffle around #they kicked their butts into gear with the hussite trilogy so ! and they made new hardcovers.#the elbow-high diaries #new book 2024

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littlemsterious · 2 years ago

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Y’know i was thinking the other day that someone looked awfully familiar

excuse my attempt to draw noodle

#the locked tomb #nona the ninth #pyrrha dve #camilla hect #sailor moon #usagi tsukino #tuxedo mask #i personally think nona would fucking love sailor moon but maybe that’s just me #this was almost entirely inspired by her hair lmao #idk what pants nona wears I’m sure it’s mentioned but i forgot #i tried to draw a sandwich on her shirt but it looked very bad

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dandelionsaremyfriends · 3 months ago

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uh um UHHHH HAHAHD I DONT KNOW!!,!! I do not know how posts work or tumblr or anything and I am tired but tired art here you go??? I’m not great at drawing at all whomp whomp and I don’t really know designs or nothin but I’m already doing this so oh well. Alex does not happen to be my favourite nor do I even really know much about him (bad memory) but he fits the usual style of clothes I draw people in (he doesn’t but shush). So. This is mainly him :3

#the unwanteds #alex stowe #lani haluki #aaron stowe #Ignore the constant shit talking??? Of myself it’s just how I get over nerves it doesn’t like actually affect me or make me think real bad #Of myself that’s just how my brain is wired it’s weird #Anyways enjoy maybe perhaps if you do #Oh also I do not know the original guy but someone made a funny little post somewhere on instagram and it was drawing of the top left #Drawing Lani’s in. I just thought of it and drew it I hope I’m aloud to do that #credits to the original person though obviosuly #I really don’t know how to do this

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