#after years of thinking I was some villain who deserved to be punished

[angelic-waffles]

As a guy who’s pretty fuckin mentally ill and has some occasional violent urges from it, I really really love the found family creepypasta he’s cannons

Best way I can explain it is that most of the time I feel like a monster due to mental conditions and intense intrusive thoughts. So because of that, seeing characters who have similar problems (obviously acted upon which, no I wouldn’t k!ll someone but you know what I mean) and who are able to find others like them, becoming close and realizing your problems don’t rob you of you humanity??? Ough I could die happy

[seaweedstarshine]

RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)

[multifandomfanatic02]

𝑻𝒘𝒐 𝑷𝒆𝒂𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒊𝒏.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 :: angel dust x gn reader (platonic!!)

𝒔𝒚𝒏𝒐𝒑𝒔𝒊𝒔 :: you are co workers with angel dust who comes to the rescue in a difficult time. although it seems he needed it too.

𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒔 :: minimal talk of sexual abuse, soft angel dust, comforting, angel crying.

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 :: 1k words

What on God's green Earth did you do to deserve this? In all of the 30 something years you spent in life, nothing you did warranted such treatment. No matter what anybody did, this was never a punishment anyone deserved. In a way though, you brought on yourself you thought. To sign a contract in Hell and think nothing of it simply because the demon was.. hmm.. what's the word. Entrancing. He was good at was he does.

Upon entering Hell, you were greeted with a sultry voice with a lovely Hispanic accent. He had offered you a job and a place to stay. He surely didn't look like the villain type, and at the time, he didn't sound like it either so it made it easy to sign your soul away.

However this impulsive decision of yours soured almost immediately after. You had been forced into prostitution and porn. Anytime you didn't pay your dues, things only got worse for you. Why didn't you think to ask what kind of job you were taking? But this is how it was down here. There were no laws no rules. No one had a moral code anymore. All you are allowed to think about down here is how to survive. You do what you must. No matter the cost.

Day after day, you drowned yourself in drugs and alcohol. At home, of course. Unlike some you knew at work, you distanced yourself from sex and intimacy from others. This made it hard to connect with others. You surely craved it though. To be understood and seen as a person rather than a toy. Thoughts like these came on the days you were sober.

You had been working for Valentino for several, several years now. You had seen people come and go either succumbing to the abuse and mistreatment and offing themselves or being fired because they did poorly for Val's ratings which often meant being killed by the Vee's. There was one soul that had been there longer than even you. And actually still the most desirable porn star there is, Angel Dust.

You admired him. Not necessarily because of his work but just because of how he's still standing.

While Angel resorted to the same coping mechanisms you did, he had friends to support and be there for him when he needed. So despite everything he's enduring, he managed to rehabilitate himself essentially. And that.. that was impressive and admirable.

You never talked to him before though you both would just exchange sympathetic eyes towards each other. It wasn't until you hit your breaking point that you had your first real interaction and my, did you need it.

You had been sitting at a bus stop for an hour, the acidic rain making you pull your feet into the bench to not get drenched or burnt. It was quiet outside, due to the rain there was no one in sight. It was just you and your thoughts. Tears spilled from your eyes as your arms wrapped around your knees. Holding things in for a long time will do this to ya. Make you break in public, how inconvenient.

click, clack, click

The sound of high heels approaching broke you out of your depression trance.

"Mind if I join ya?"

"Angel Dust?" You scooted over a little to give him some room.

"The one and only." Angel sat down next to you folding his umbrella and setting it to the side. Not much was said initially but it wasn't like an awkward silence. More of an, understanding. "Ya know, it won't be like this forever." He placed one of his hands on your back. It was a gentle touch, not like what you were used to at work. It was.. calming. It let you take a real deep breath in what actually felt like forever.

"Oh yeah? That pink chain still around your neck seems to disagree with you." You didn't mean to be snappy at him, the statement just felt like a stab wound. Thankfully, Angel didn't take it personally it seems because all he could do was laugh.

"Oh don't ya worry about that. I'll find a way to break the contract one way or another." His gaze softened as he turned to you, lifting your chin up to look at him. "Sorry, I ain't good at comfortin' others. But I want ya to know that I'm here for ya if needed. " You raised your eyebrow in response.

"It's a pain in tha ass. Ya know.. dealing with Val." Angel took a deep breath and relaxed his own shoulders. He himself never really had anyone to connect with, well not someone who understood what he went through. Someone whom felt the same way about his situation. All your other co-worker's saw each other as competition. You never really blamed them though. If anyone's popularity dropped, they were punished. You were all just trying survive after all. "Why don't ya come and live with us at tha hotel. We're always lookin for new sinners to help. And Charlie.. well, they are pretty damn good at it."

Silenced filled the streets once again as the mood changed. Angel's smooth facade dropped, letting his emotions out in the open. His own tears dripped on to his thighs, alerting you in surprise. While you never KNEW Angel, he was a very good actor and managed to keep up the proud pornstar schtick for all the years you have known of him. This was a first for the both of you.

"I'm sorry for lettin go like this. It's just all too much. I- I never wanted to be this way. You grabbed Angel's hand tightly and looked up at him.

"You don't have to explain yourself. Not to me. I know." A breath of relief from Angel as he wiped around his eyes. "And you know what, I think I'll take up that offer. Say.. I heard there was a hot daddy of a bartender, is that true?" You nudged Angel suggestively with your hip and grinned at him.

A look of shock appeared on his face as he frantically tried to look anywhere else but your eyes. This was quite an astounding reaction considering the business that you two have to deal with on a daily basis. Angel flustered from an innocent joke?

"I'd absolutely love to tell ya about everyone." He stood up and dusted off his short dress before opening the umbrella, inviting you underneath it. "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be."

𝒂/𝒏 :: I've been wanting to do this type of story for angel dust for a while. I wanted it to be like our comfort character, one whom we resonate a bit too much, was actually talking to us in a comforting manner. It's not my best work in my opinion but it still means a lot to me. And for those who get it, you matter. Your feelings matter. Regardless of how you cope with it.

[confused-rat]

A Rat’s List of 50 Villain’s that had a Point

So beforehand, here’s Lily’s dumbass fucking rules for the list. 

Have a point 

Successfully navigate still being a villain

Are written well

From other lists I’ve seen, I think some people have either misinterpreted or ignored the “have a point” bit. (Or maybe I have.) Having a point means the villain was correct on a certain issue, but otherwise failed with their handling of it. (Leading to the second rule, is still a villain despite having a valid point.) So I’m going to try and explain what issue each villain I’ve listed was correct on, and why they’re still a villain. 

But I’m also ignoring rule 3. Because it’s stupid. ☺️ Spoilers inbound.

Ardyn Izunia, FFXV — The point, the gods ruined his life and to correct their mistakes, set up a prophecy that would ruin/kill countless other lives in the process, forcing everyone into roles they had not consented to. Why he’s still the villain, lost himself in the role he was forced into, killing needlessly and mentally torturing others for the dramatics. 

Emet-Selch, FFXIV — The point, the world is a fractured existence, where its inhabitants live infinitely shorter and arguably strife-filled lives, their souls 1/14 of what they originally were. Reality itself is broken. Why he’s still a villain, mortals still have the right to live and better themselves and if fixing the world means mass genocide across 14 different versions of reality, maybe let it stay broken?

Nidhogg, FFXIV — The point, the Ishgardians renege on their alliance and unjustly slew his sister for power, eventually rewriting their own history to place the blame on the dragons to justify their centuries long war. Why he’s still bad, genocide is never the answer. Also was just tossing hatchlings out to war to satisfy his own hatred.

Zodiark, FFXIV — The point, was created to stop the end of the world. Did that. Quite successfully for thousands of years. Why was it still bad though? Because it was gonna sacrifice millions to fulfill the wishes of its summoners after the fact. (See: Emet-Selch)

Vayne & Venat, FFXII — The point, humanity was being controlled by fantasy mindflayers, who routinely destroyed nations to keep their status quo. Vayne and Venat wished to free humanity from them, unfortunately, they decided to do that by invading and conquering other countries and killing thousands. 

Megatron, TFA — The point, Cybertron created his people as a slave race for war and denied them basic rights. Why is he still a villain, thinks colonizing and genocide is needed to provide for his people.

Megatron, IDW — The point, Cybertron’s government was a functionalistic hellscape where dissent was punished with anything from brainwashing to amputation. Why is he still a villain, lost the plot and murdered millions, innocents who were victims of the same system he was, eventually was guilty of the same crimes as the people he originally fought against.

Megatron, TFP — The point, another functionalist society, one where dissenters were sent to gladiator pits. Why is he still a villain, became essentially a terrorist when he bombed a theme park and later whole cities, again murdering fellow victims. 

Silco, Arcane — The point, despite being ruled by the same government, the Undercity received no support from Piltover and was left poverty stricken and oppressed. Zaun deserved its independence. Silco, however, is a drug lord, so he’s still a villain.

Count Dooku, Star Wars — The point, the Jedi Council and Republic were actually corrupt. Why he’s still the villain, worked with the absolute worst person in the galaxy. He tried to fight fire with an active volcano, very not smart.

The Architect, Dragon Age: Awakening — The point, was trying to give darkspawn and other blighted creatures back their self-awareness and control, eventually stopping the Blights entirely. Why he’s still the villain, abducted Grey Wardens to drain of blood and experiment on to achieve his goals. 

Teyrn Logain, Dragon Age: Origins — The point, Orlais was actually trying to secretly conquer Fereldan through a political marriage to King Cailan. Why he’s still the villain, let hundreds of his own people die to secure the throne, including the Grey Wardens, who had nothing to do with Orlais’ plans. 

Solas, Dragon Age: Inquisition — THE POINT, WHICH HE DID HAVE, both times he fucked with the Veil, he was trying to essentially stop an unjust social hierarchal system that supported slavery. Why he’s still the villain, he admitted it would likely kill a lot of people and we do not want that actually? 

Handsome Jack, Borderlands 2 — The point, Pandora is FUCKED. It needs some kind of intervention, people are wearing face masks made of FACES. Why he’s still a villain, it’s. It’s Handsome Jack? He airlocks people for fun, and that’s TAME compared to the other shit he’s done. 

Colonel T. Zarpedon, Borderlands the Pre-Sequel — The point, wanted to prevent the powers of the Vault from being misused. (Points at Borderlands 2 and 3) How she’s still the villain, decides to blow up the moon and all the people on it to do so.

Akechi Goro, Persona 5 — The point, Shido was a vile person who appeared to be above the law as he used his influence to ruin countless lives. Why Goro’s still the villain, murdering innocents in a long-con revenge plot isn’t justified. 

Louis Guiabern, Metaphor: Refantazio — The point, he’s essentially trying to end fantasy racism. Why he’s still bad, his solution to ending said fantasy racism is nonconsensual body modification on a worldwide scale. 

The Flame Emperor, Fire Emblem: Three Houses — The point, the church was corrupt and allowed atrocities to be committed to meet its status quo. Working with arguably worse people (reluctantly) and allowing other atrocities to occur to defeat said church is still bad though.

Miquella, Elden Ring — The point, the Golden Order is flawed and shunned many of the Lands’ Between’s inhabitants. Why he’s still the villain, you can’t brainwash an entire country into being nice, that’s insane. 

Shadowlord, Nier: Gestalt/Replicant — The point, oh man, where do I fucking begin? Shades are all just disembodied souls trying to reunite with their clone vessels. If they don’t reunite, said vessels will eventually die, as both are connected. Unfortunately, the clone vessels gained sentience, dooming humanity. The Shadowlord is just trying to save his daughter/sister, but he’s essentially sacrificing another version of her to do this with neither’s consent. No bueno. 

The Wicked Witch of the West, Wizard of Oz — The point, Dorothy totally did steal her sister’s shoes off her corpse. The death was accidental, but the theft was deliberate. Theft isn’t a murdering offense though, also Toto was just a dog? Wtf. Still a villain.  

The Gnome King, Return to Oz — The point, the Emerald City did in fact steal all his emeralds. Why he’s still the villain, sore loser. Tried to eat a child. 

Shere Khan, the Jungle Book (LA) — The point, mankind sucks. That is all…. Also the wolves totally broke the rules by keeping Mowgli, they could’ve just dropped him off at a village. Why he’s still the villain, preferred child murder to relocation. 

Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty — The point, you do not FUCK with the Fae? Don’t be rude? Why she’s a villain, did not stop after making her point. Sore loser. Cursed the baby instead of the rude parents. 

Ursula, the Little Mermaid — The point, technically, Ariel made a deal with the witch of her own free will. Why she’s still the villain, also a sore loser. Sabotaged Ariel to get the trident. Not a girls girl. Boo.

The Creature, Frankenstein — The point, was shunned and ostracized by literally everyone, including the man who created him, for something beyond his control. Victor owed him (child support). Why he’s still a villain, literally killed a child to spite his creator. He literally. Killed a child. And framed the nursemaid. To torment Victor. He also threatens all Victor’s friends and family, innocent people who had NO HAND in his creation. 

Dracula, Netflix’s Castlevania — The point, radical religious zealots killed his wife (and others) unprovoked. Why is he still a villain, did not stop at the zealots. (This iteration isn’t a predator, you empty-headed fuck ass, as a MLP enjoyer, you should understand the concept of MULTIPLE VERSIONS OF ONE CHARACTER??)

Lucian, Underworld Trilogy — The point, werewolves were slaves and fantasy racism got his lover and unborn child killed. Why he’s still the villain, kidnapped and helped experiment on countless people (who also died) to create a hybrid to facilitate his revenge. 

Red Queen, Resident Evil — The point, she was literally stopping the zombie infection from breaching contamination and destroying the entire world. Why she’s still the villain, told nobody, explained nothing, boom laser hallway. 

Ozymandias, Watchmen — The point, literally just watch the movie. Dude united global powers and ended a Cold War by creating a fake obstacle to scare them, but that’s bad because he killed a lot of people to do that. 

The Count, Gankutsuou — The point, he was unjustly convicted by three corrupt men who abused their positions of power and got away scott-free for years. Still bad because he dragged many innocent people into his revenge plot. Franz did NOT deserve all that. 

Knives, Trigun Stampede — The point, humanity destroyed their own planet and was actively using his people as portable life support batteries and slowly killing them. Why he’s still the villain, genocide is not a valid solution. 

Kyubey, Madoka Magica — Fuck you Lily, Kyubey isn’t a psychopath, it’s a manipulative little shit that doesn’t have humanity’s morals. The point, the universe is dying and they’re trying to stop that. Why they’re still the villain, their solution was the emotional and physical torture of children in a never-ending cycle of despair of death. 

Bandit King Bakura, Yu Gi Oh — The point, the then Pharaoh literally massacred his entire village to create the Millennium Items. Why he’s still the villain, once you fuse with a Great God of Evil, it’s kinda hard to argue for your continued righteous vengeance. 

Shōgo Makishima, Psycho Pass — The point, the Sybil System is flawed, criminalizing innocent people while letting dangerous sociopaths like him walk free (until they get brain jarred). Why he’s still the villain, he decided to demonstrate the system’s flaws by orchestrating so. many. murders. Like. So many. 

Luke Castellans, PJO — The point, the Gods didn’t care for their kids equally and left many to fend for themselves. Why he’s still the villain, trying to murder your fellow campers cause they won’t join your cause is bad actually. 

Medusa, PJO — The point, was unfairly cursed while Poseidon got away scott-free. Why she’s still DEFINITELY a villain, turns innocent people to stone, was gonna turn a child because she’s still not over her ex, getting dealt a raw hand doesn’t excuse CHILD MURDER. 

Poseidon, Odyssey — The point, Odysseus could’ve just avoided all this if he had just killed Poseidon’s son. 🤷 Why he’s still the villain, he would’ve raised the tides so high that all of Ithaca would’ve died, cause he had beef with ONE (1) MORTAL MAN. 

Lord Cutler Beckett, Pirates of the Caribbean — The point, uhhh. This may come as a surprise, but. Pirates… bad? Why he’s still a villain, he did not stop at pirates. Blackmailed and killed basically bystanders. ACAB. 

The Bane, The Underland Chronicles — The point, the Underlanders were originally a colonizing force that poisoned and killed the original inhabitants of the caves they took for their own. Why he’s still a villain, HE EATS PEOPLE? Many of the species underground are sentient and HE EATS THEM?

Tsaritsa/Fatui, Genshin Impact — The point, Celestia has a chokehold on humanity, controlling people’s fates and harshly punishing any dissent. They need to be stopped. Why they’re still villains, essentially is fighting fire with fire, manipulating Nations and experimenting on/killing folks to pursue their own goals to topple Celestia. 

Tsumugi Shirogane, Danganronpa V3 — The point, just doing her job, allegedly the entire class signed up willingly to play the Death Game. Why she’s still the villain, broke her own rules, also, cool motive, still murder?

Chris Walker, Outlast — The point, is trying to keep a highly dangerous swarm of nanites from breaking containment. Why he’s still the villain, does this by breaking others’ spines. And necks. And everything really.

Charioce XVII, Rage of Bahamut: Virgin Soul — The point, Bahamut is a world ending threat that almost succeeded two separate times in the past, and was guaranteed to awaken again in the imminent future to finish the job. Charioce wanted to stop it. However, waging a war with Heaven and enslaving the demon race to build a weapon to combat it was an awful way to go about it.

William Moriarty, Moriarty the Patriot — The point, England’s class system was allowing the rich to get away with absolutely abhorrent crimes. Murder is still murder though. 

Azure Lion, Lego Monkie Kid — The point, the celestial realm really doesn’t care about the mortal realm and is arguably very corrupt. Why he’s still a villain, broke the universe despite multiple people telling him to Not Do That. 

Toffee, SVTFOE — The point, wanted to get rid of magic, which kind of did fuck a lot of people over. Why he’s still the villain, child murder 🎶 is not 🎶 okay! 🎶

Oropo, Wakfu — The point, sought to replace seemingly uncaring gods with their abandoned offspring. Why he’s still the villain, was going to nuke the world to topple said gods. 

Julith, Dofus — The point, was unjustly framed for the murder of her lover because of fantasy racism. Why she is still the villain, sacrificing a stadium’s worth of souls to bring back your deceased lover is not okay.  

Prince Nuada, Hellboy 2 — The point, humanity had forgotten its truce with the Fae and was actively poisoning the planet. Dooming Nuada’s people and other creatures to a slow death and extinction. Why he’s still bad, genocide 👏 is not 👏 a valid 👏 solution!!

[magnetic-rose]

i think some people reaction's towards gale also like... has a lot to do with how fandom perceives redemption, which has increasingly become in a more negative light in recent years. there's so much talk about "x character doesn't deserve redemption because they did the bad thing" but it's like... at what point does that become too extreme?

because what gale did was shitty, yes. but his punishment was to isolate himself from society while slowly dying with a bomb in his chest. and when he's told that he needs to die to redeem himself, he readily accepts it. at no point does he blame anyone but himself for his mistake, and he accepts his impending doom pretty gracefully.

and i've been in fandom for a long time. i've seen how fans treat morally flawed characters, characters who make huge mistakes, villainous characters who try to turn their ways around. there's a very weird push back against it from a certain crowd. and what's interesting about gale is he's one of those characters who we meet AFTER he committed his big sin. he's been living in penance for it. he's accepted the punishment, he's willing to die, he even says that mystra is in the right. he makes no excuses for himself.

and yet that's still not redemptive enough for some people. he's still an asshole who deserves death. idk, i feel like sometimes i'm playing a different game lmao.

[animentality]

I was thinking about that ask I answered earlier, and I decided that it's very interesting, how Gortash was raised in the House of Hope, watching people willingly sign away their souls, while he was never given the choice.

And how, bitter and angry and regularly tortured by Nubaldin and god knows what else, he would grow to absolutely despise these people, coming here, choosing to tie themselves to this place for eternity after death, and vowing he would not do the same.

He would escape, knowing in his heart twisted by violence and enslavement, that people must want to be controlled.

Not himself, of course.

He's special. He refuses to be a slave ever again. But others? The people who bargain with their souls and throw everything away?

If that's how they are, then he might as well use them. He might as well see them the same way as devils do. He might as well treat them as though they are mere mortals, and he is a god of Faerun.

I also want to say, that that's the logical conclusion for him to draw. The more emotional conclusion, is that he HATES the world for how it's treated him. How he was lower city scum, a child born in poverty, destined to die in poverty too, treated as less than nothing by the wealthy patriars of Baldur's Gate, born with the silver spoon firmly clenched between their teeth.

He would also hate the lower city scum, for his parents are its representatives, and what kind of people would sell their own child to pay off minor debts?

People who deserve to be subjugated and controlled.

And forced to love their children. To take care of their children. And if they won't, he will (he canonically has a soft spot for orphans).

See, that's why Gortash should've gone to the House of Hope, and not Bane.

His soul was promised to Raphael first, but it also frames him as a far more interesting villain than the current canon Gortash. Canon Gortash ends there. He's angry, he's bitter, he's determined to inflict his punishment on the world. He's a good villain, in theory (not gameplay wise, as he's easy to kill), but the buck stops there.

But if you add this...terror, of returning to Raphael?

And the idea that he only ever served Bane and committed all these atrocities because he was desperately trying to acquire enough power to take on Raphael's House of Hope and steal back his contract?

It humanizes him. It makes him a three dimensional villain, the way Ketheric was. It makes you understand, when you go to the House of Hope and find out how they treated him, how a person could be so warped.

Gortash as a character being arrogant and dehumanizing to everyone around him - that's fine. That's not bad. That's fun, actually.

But a Gortash who is arrogant and dehumanizing...and deep down, terrified beyond his wits, at the thought of being reduced to that slave, trapped in the House of Hope again...

And ALSO. Willing to sacrifice literally the ENTIRE WORLD just to save his own skin...

I mean come on.

That's like...next level writing.

That's not even woobifying him. It just gives him depth.

And they...they just...they just didn't do that.

And I don't understand why.

Just kidding, I do. It was because they rushed the game's release so they could make a boatload of cash after years of laboring on it.

He literally has a note on him, saying he wants to go back to the House of Hope...why else would he go, other than to steal his contract back?

But you know.

Cut content.

So Gortash is just some prick you can kill. He wears a no fear coat for some reason, not that it really matters. It's just loot, basically.

Oh well.

[astridthevalkyrie]

so idk how mha is gonna end but obviously the moral of the story we’re going for here is that everyone deserves to be saved and heroism is about saving people no matter what. that’s great! i’m guessing some or all of the league is going to survive and be put into some kind of rehabilitation center (toga and spinner seem the most likely to me for now but who knows). and i’m fine with that i like the overall message of it.

but how are they going to deal with the fallout from the league’s victims? i get the feeling that they’re not, or it’ll be a one-off like “some ppl were upset we didn’t jail or kill the villains but the heroes calmed them down” or something like that. i mean. whoever in the LOV it is would have to show remorse eventually, for one thing, for them to be any different than the corrupt hero system. but even then, all the families of whoever machia trampled on during the war arc, are they just gonna be cool with this? mind you I don’t think that anyone in the LOV should be killed or jailed rather than rehabilitated, but i wonder if the show is going to bring up that anyone who dabi or toga killed won’t get a second chance. they won’t get rehabilitated, they’re just gone. how are their families and friends going to deal with what society deems as an appropriate punishment for them?

i think this message also could’ve been conveyed better if we had more prominent “corrupt” heroes aside from endeavor and hawks. the top ten minus them and the irrelevant guy who retired after the war arc are all portrayed narratively as good people. iida’s brother is attacked by stain for no real reason at all aside from not being all might. all might’s heroism ends up being bad for society overall yeah, but so much of that is because of who toshinori is as a person rather than hero society (which does play a part but if toshinori just hadn’t pushed himself to be the best and number one savior for everyone there wasn’t necessarily any society forcing him to until after he’d already showed them he could do it).

PLUS the existence of afo offsets this message. everyone can be saved…..besides the real super evil people?? if, and I’m not saying they do, shigaraki and afo had the same kill count, is the lack of a sad childhood the only thing that makes afo beyond redemption? i mean he might not be gone gone if he’s still inside shigaraki’s mind or whatever, but that doesn’t change the fact that the heroes were trying to kill him too. narratively, why was all might in the right for killing him all those years ago when hawks was in the wrong for killing twice? because twice was kinder? because twice was neurodivergent??

mha also a little bit contradicts itself because. hero society is exposed post war arc. civilians have every right to be mad that their current number one is an abuser and that the heroes failed and couldn’t protect them. but theeeen, we have ochako’s speech in which she yells at scared civilians that “the heroes are the ones who are getting dirty!” which is like. yeah. they are. but during and post the war arc civilians also very much died. i feel for izuku but at first glance if someone promised you a safe haven from being attacked and then said oh never mind we’re actually going to bring the one guy shigaraki can absolutely track and hunt down here because he’s tired of fighting, getting upset with that is not totally unreasonable.

and I get that civilians are supposed to get mad at heroes for being corrupt, but not for failing, because heroes should never have been put up on such a high pedestal. they should be seen as humans who are as fallible as everyone else. that doesn’t change the fact the average innocent person would be rightfully scared, because it’s not just the heroes who are getting dirty. people are getting attacked. the heroes are not saving everyone. they shouldn’t have to and there’s no way they realistically can, but picking and choosing which aspects of hero society people are allowed to criticize feels…meh. if there’s gonna be fallout, fallout that endeavor and hawks if not the rest deserve, there should be proper fallout.

i don’t think the UA kids should be treated as full-fledged heroes because they’re not, but their age should not be the one thing that makes them better than the current heroes. they’re liable to the same mistakes and the same fallings. or they would be had they not all been portrayed from the beginning as one big happy hopeful crowd who just wanna save the day! there was opportunity to show who was in it for the right and wrong reasons and somehow ochako who has been so poorly written for several seasons actually had the most relevant arc (besides bakugo) about being in the hero business for the right reasons. ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with hawks ochako should have interned with there should’ve been more students in it for the glory, for the money, for the fame, but even monoma from class b and mineta are apparently true heroes! is being a high schooler all it takes??

anyway this is all jumbled and a mess but mha should’ve made hero society far more corrupt to justify its dismantling is my point. right now we’re getting a vibe of “the heroes are just as bad as the villains if they don’t save them too” and that’s just like. objectively not true. if hawks was supposed to be an assassin for hire for the hero commission, we should’ve seen him kill people aside from the guy who could’ve turned the tides of the war, at the very least actually kill best jeanist to finish his mission. if toga wanted to preach about how the heroes are just as bad because they killed jin, it falls flat when she’s on machia’s back stomping on people and then killing an old lady to talk to ochako. the heroes should try to save everyone including the villains because that’s what heroism is, but they are not equally as bad as the villains for trying to stop the villains.

the hero commission in general is just like afo, a vague villain we can blame so that we don’t have to blame the underlings. if people discriminate against animal quirks we should’ve seen it way earlier with shoji and tsu and tokoyami, maybe really expanded on it once mirko and hawks and even the dog cop were introduced. if sooo many heroes were in this for the wrong reasons, where are they? the current “failings” of the hero system are all might, endeavor, hawks, lady nagant and bakugo. everyone else is fine! there was a chance to show that someone like mount lady isn’t a real hero because she only cares about fame. there was a chance to show that aizawa is a good hero compared to others because he doesn’t try and seek glory. but these points are only halfway done and then kinda left there.

[theia-eos]

I am of the opinion that it is Dheginseas fault that Lehran lost hope in the laguz too, the massacre is the final straw for the beorc but the laguz never did anything so atrocious, but Lehran is shown to dislike Dheginseas inaction regarding laguz slavery and Dheginsea doesn't seem to have done anything after the massacre and that might have made Lehran generalize it to all laguz being beyond redemption through his inaction.

I don't really like Dheginsea he's good for the story but I just don't like him. I do like Lehran though, maybe a bit hypocritical of me, I still don't really forgive him for handing Lillia over to Ashnard and the whole ending the world thing but I do have a bird bias.

sorry for rambling like this and you don't have to answer if it doesn't interest you but what is your theory? I enjoy seeing your theories and takes on tellius <3

Ah. Dheginsea, my beloathed. If he has 0 haters, I'm dead. He's a great villain and character for the story, but there's a reason why on my tier list he's only above Izuka. Cut for spoilers.

Dheginsea's inaction is understandable to a point. It's said that once battle enjoins, dragons lose themselves to chaos and their drive to fight. But he takes bystanding to an extreme.

Lehran also has some horrific sins to bear, but he does have a great case for an insanity plea given that he witnesses the massacre first hand, feeling all that hatred and pain in the thick of it, whereas being on the other side of the country it made Rafiel black out fleeing from it, and the other survivor Reyson "No amount of human blood can slake my thirst for vengeance" Serenes...well...he absolutely could have gone the same way as Lehran, even 17 years later Reyson sees battle between Ike's forces and Oliver's and will cast the forbidden magic that will have dire consequences for him, he's going to do it anyway. The only reason Reyson doesn't do it is because Tibarn is there to talk him out of it and Leanne is found safe and sound. For Lehran, alone without a true friend, the chaos he feels in that moment prevents him from calming the medallion, and it is in that maelstrom that he decides the world must end.

Your position is an interesting one, and I think Dheginsea's inaction could have contributed. In the Extended Scripts, where Lehran would say this:

Lehran: NO! Chaos…madness… So much…anger…so much…pain… Why? Why was my family taken? Why? Why was my forest destroyed? The apostle did not deserve this fate… Killed by her innocence…her murderers free to seize power… This is monstrous! This world does not need beorc. And the laguz…are deeply flawed. There is no need to wait for the covenant’s thousand years. Awaken! Oh, Goddess. Awaken…and judge. Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-4: Rebirth, Normal Script

He instead says this:

Lehran: Ungh! NO! Chaos… (Several voices appear in Lehran’s mind) Dheginsea: You, who have lost your birthright? Misaha: And yet, now that I’ve met you, I understand. There is no shame in my heritage. None at all. Ashera: In deference to you, I will place my faith in your kind one last time. Altina: You… are the gentlest soul of them all, my sweet Lehran…Lehran: Why? Why did I lose my power? Why? Why was my tribe stolen? Why, why, why? (Image of Lehran holding onto the medallion) Civilian: Huh, what’s up with this guy? He’s been standing there frozen for a while. Civilian: We won’t allow you a painless death. You need to know what true pain feels like… Civilian: Yeah, you don’t take blows very well. We just hit you a few times and you drop dead… How can we punish them like this? Civilian: We can’t let the Apostle’s killers get away so easily… We should torture them, make them bleed until they beg… Then we kill them! Lehran: …Humans… 350 years still remain. But there is no need to continue waiting. This world does not need beorc. And neither does it need laguz…Both are deeply flawed. Please awaken! Oh, Goddess. Awaken…and judge. Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-4: Rebirth, Extended Script

So Dheginsea's voice is one of many, and it is the line where Dheginsea is belittling Lehran, asking him how he can hope to improve things when he's incensed about laguz slavery and saying he's going to leave and help. (Also, Altina's line there, gah. My heart. I'm crying.)

But Lehran has lived for a very long time. He served Ashunera before the Flood. Nasir says that a long time ago, laguz had beorc in chains (edit: persecuted beorc, terms unclear), so Lehran has likely seen it both ways at this point and doesn't believe peace and co-existence is possible at that moment.

I think later on, he blames himself. He believes that the Apostle was killed by her innocence, as seen in the normal mode script. What caused her death? Him. He meets her, tells her the truth, and she decides to confront the senate, reveal that she is Lehran and Altina's Branded descendent, and tell the truth to the world to guide them to the just and honest future he wants. And she is killed for it.

Miasha: And yet, now that I’ve met you, I understand. There is no shame in my heritage. None at all. I will not live in hiding. I will reveal to the world that I am one of the Branded. They must see there is no shame in who I am. Lehran: No! You mustn’t! You don’t understand the danger you will be placing yourself in! Miasha: Oh, but I do. The senators will do their utmost to rally the people against me, as they did when I freed the laguz from slavery. But I will not be deterred. If I am to lead this nation, I cannot allow it to be corrupted by prejudice and hatred. I can put the life the goddess has given me to no greater good than this. Lehran: …Such determination. Your eyes… They very much resemble Altina’s. Miasha: I will stand before my people and proudly proclaim the truth. And then I will guide them to a just and honest future. This is my promise to you. Lehran: Thank you. Your strength of will, the truth that guides your life… You have shown me the way back to myself. I shall return to Goldoa and tell my friends of you and your actions. I will tell them that laguz and beorc may once again live together in peace. I will tell them that there is hope. Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-1: Rebirth, Extended Script

Why are the Branded considered abominations and taboo? Lehran.

Gareth: King Dheginsea fell into despair. If people caught wind of this news, he believed it would create a deep rift between the two peoples. The king was especially concerned about the reaction from the laguz. They might interpret the birth as a herald of their eventual end. Some might even attempt to harm the child. Kurthnaga: Lehran needed to hear the voice of the goddess then more than ever before… But he could no longer sing the galdr of release. Is that what happened? Nasir: Just so. Lehran was forced to make a very difficult decision to protect the peace between beorc and laguz. He decided to retreat into seclusion and consider the problem. Once he regained his sanity, he announced his decision. Gareth: Lehran was forced to ask the unthinkable of his wife, his aides, and close friends: "For the sake of Begnion, you must tell the people that I died in an accident. Tell them the birth was merely a false rumor." Nasir: Lehran left the medallion to his tribe, moving to Goldoa under King Dheginsea’s protection. He simply disappeared from history after that. Gareth: After Lehran had left and life returned to normal, Altina eventually welcomed a beorc husband. She raised the child she’d had with Lehran as though it were an ordinary beorc child, born of her new husband. Since then, marriages between laguz and beorc have been forbidden. It became known as a "crime against the goddess." Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-4: Rebirth, Ancient History

It is absolutely no mistake that we get this conversation right before fighting Lehran. This is to be fresh in our minds going into the battle, his reveal (as it is only possible to view on New Game+, like Ike's memories, these are supposed to be all put together), and his memories of the massacre. It's sickening. He gave the order that, after hundreds of years, led to his descendent being assassinated and the genocide of the herons.

Now, should Dheginsea and company have taken the advice of Lehran, who was suicidal and depressed over the loss of his powers and ability to commune with the goddess? No. Absolutely 100% not. (Dheginsea. I am still in your walls.) But it's easy to see that Lehran blames himself for everything, and wants nothing more than to die while also believing that the world is beyond saving. There are only two people who could have swayed him from that stance: Nailah and Micaiah.

Micaiah: You… I’ve heard about you. Have we… met before? Sephiran: The Silver-Haired Maiden. It’s taken so long to finally meet you. If I had known you still lived, I.. I… No, it’s too late. This changes nothing. I cannot falter. Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-4: Rebirth

Nailah: Who would’ve guessed that a madman on the other side of the desert would somehow threaten Hatari? Sephiran: Hatari. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to see it. The wolf tribe has survived all this time in the far corner of the world. Only the goddess could have known that. Nailah: Perhaps even she didn’t know it. Your goddess isn’t perfect, you know. Does an imperfect goddess have the right to judge imperfect beings? Sephiran: I see your point. Does the creator retain the right to destroy her creations when they are no longer what she envisioned? I imagine we could discuss this sometime… if only we had more time. I believe you alone might be able to sway my opinion on this, Lady Nailah, Queen of Wolves. Radiant Dawn, Chapter 4-F-4: Rebirth

Micaiah being his descendent and the new apostle is obvious. If he had known is family still lived, if he still knew there was someone who could speak to the goddess, he might not have gone as far as he did. If he had known of Hatari, a land where beorc, laguz, and Branded co-exist in peace, the world he dreamed of not only being possible but there, then he might not have believed Tellius beyond saving either.

So this is a Dheginsea hate blog, but I think Lehran's long life of seeing constant conflict, of the war that drove the goddess to split herself in do, of seeing the pendulum of power dynamics flip one way to the other was ultimately what did it to him, Dheginsea's inaction likely only being a contributing factor. But end of the day, I don't think there's anyone Lehran held in greater contempt than himself.

Tibarn: You know what? I don’t believe you’re the big, bad, evil guy you want us all to think you are. Sephiran: What could you be talking about? Tibarn: Ah, I was right! I see it in your eyes. I’ve been around for a while, and learned a bit about spotting fakes. So now that your secret’s out, maybe you’d like to open up and tell me: Who are you really? Sephiran: …

[indigo-anonymous]

I’d love to hear which other songs brain rot you for the fic!!

Yippee!! Time for the Splinter Fractures brainrot song list (which is by no means definitive and can be expanded at any time)! Buckle up, because it's gonna be a long post (I'm halfway finishing this in drafts and it's SO LONG already). I want to go over my favourite lyrics for each of them :D

I'll go over the two that were brought up previously first, to get those out of the way. All links lead to YouTube videos of the songs, since I know not everyone has Spotify.

Just A Man from Epic the Musical - Personally I see this as Sinner!Adam singing to Charlie (mayhaps during one of their sessions?) Some of these thoughts on the lyrics aren't specifically Splinter Fractures (that goes for all of them) but in part my own interpretation of (sinner) Adam :)

I look into your eyes and I think back to the son of mine (Abel) You're as old as he was when I left for war (When he was killed by Cain) Will these actions haunt my days? (nightmares eyyy) Every man I've slain Is the price I pay endless pain? Close your eyes, and spare yourself the view How could I hurt you? (Charlie is like the perfect blend of both her parents, both people he loved. This would be less of a question abt the future and more of a "why did I do that?")

I'm just a man, who's trying to go home Even after all the years away from what I've known (he's homesick for Eden, when everything was still good and happy) I'm just a man who's fighting for his life Deep down I would trade the world to see my son and wife (Beneath everything, he just misses being with the people he cares about)

But when does a comet become a meteor? When does a candle become a blaze? When does a man become a monster? When does a ripple become a tidal wave? When does the reason become the blame? When does a man become a monster? (Everything slowly going wrong, and losing control, to the point where he becomes the monster, the leader of exterminations, killing millions for the protection of heaven.)

I'm just a man... (He needs Charlie to recognise that he's only human. He's not an angel, not someone incredible powerful or untouchable. He's just a man, and he has made a lot of mistakes, because making mistakes is human... But simultaneously, this is regret, and an admittance to himself. He doesn't want to be human. He wishes he was an untouchable angel, but he's not.)

- • -

Monster from Epic the Musical - I've talked about this one in a different post already, so you know the brainrot is reallll. To me this song kind of tells the story of Adam becoming the Lead Exorcist. How he basically gave up his humanity to protect Heaven, both out of a sense of duty and because the people up there (his kids) matter to him and he's afraid of seeing them get hurt.

How has everything been turned against us? How did suffering become so endless? (When they got kicked out of Eden, the rest of their mortal lives was him and Eve against the barren world, nigh endless suffering was their punishment) How am I to reunite with my estranged? (As much as he hates Lilith and Lucifer for abandoning him and making him out to be the villain, he still missed them) Do I need to change? (He believes himself to be the problem)

What if I'm the monster? What if I'm in the wrong? What if I'm the problem that's been hiding all along? What if I'm the one who killed you Every time I caved to guilt? (Cain and Abel </3)

The in-between part here is specific examples from Epic, but there's plenty of similar stories to Adam. Was Lilith wrong to take the apple or was she actually being trapped here by the angels? Was Lucifer wrong for choosing her side, or was he just taking care of someone he loved? Were the angels wrong for kicking him and Eve out of Eden, or did they deserve it?

If I became the monster, and threw that guilt away Would that make us stronger? Would it keep our foes at bay? (This is Adam suggesting the exterminations after the initial uprising. He doesn't really want it to happen, but he feels like it's a necessary evil to keep his loved ones safe) If I became the monster to everyone but us And made sure we got home again Who would care if we're unjust? (His reasoning for why the exterminations aren't evil or unjust: they attacked us first, I'm making sure they can't hurt us again. Especially personal in Splinter Fractures because he just had to see Abel die for a second time) If I became the monster...

I actually drew this part because the brainrot was getting to me. I don't love how it turned out but I spent hours making it so I might as well put it here 0_o

Then I'll become the Monster I will deal the blow And I'll become the Monster Like none they've ever known So what if I'm the Monster Lurking deep below? I must become the Monster And then we'll make it home (again, he feels like it's something he has to do to keep people safe. To some degree he blames himself for Eden, and original sin, and this is him taking responsibility for what he believes to be his mistakes. He's aware of how all of Hell will perceive him if he does this, and he chooses to do it anyway)

- • -

Don't Save Me by Chxrlotte - Ah yes, a song about giving up, and asking people to just let you drown in your pain. Very much a song of self-loathing which is so Adam to me, especially in Splinter Fractures.

I came from the darkness, hiding on my own Like rain thoughts are harmless, leave me here alone The waking nightmares aren't as bad as dreaming, I suppose (life is a nightmare but the sleeping nightmares are worse)

Maybe I'm wretched and deserve this, I don't know (Adam questioning if maybe he really has been evil all along, it's not like he knows why he's in hell to begin with...) Don't save me, I'm almost glad if this is how I go (Ah... wishing for death... almost)

Look into my eyes And tell me what you see A demon in disguise Pretending to be me (hmmm that mirror scene. Also this is very What Lute Sees and convinces herself to believe. That it's not really him, but rather a demon pretending to be Adam) Bury your surprise And listen carefully He lives inside my mind He'll never let me free (Being trapped by your own thoughts, the insecurities will never leave Adam alone! They'll stick with him forever, buried so deep in his soul that he's unlovable, that everyone leaves, that no matter what anyone says, he's just broken.)

The wasteland never ends and it's killing me Wait and count to ten, but I'll never be Able to live, I can't seem to breathe (just a case of the 'shakes' right? Definitely not a panic attack /s) I'll die fading carefully so don't save me (this whole song is about refusing help, which is exactly what Splinter!Adam did practically every time. He only accepted it when the alternative was living on the streets of Hell and all the horrifying shit that comes with that)

Standing on the edge, it's darker now And it's in my head, I can't hear a sound Facing the storm, I'm cast out at sea I'll drown eventually so don't save me (Adam very much believes that at some point he'll just be kicked out again. That this is all temporary, and eventually he'll drown)

I can't live anymore and I'm the one to blame At night my thoughts, they scare me I can't face another day (I feel like I don't need to repeat myself too much. Blaming himself for things that are, in actuality, not really his fault)

Don't save me I think I'm in hell These walls are talking I can tell I've bathed in fire since I fell Don't leave me on my own (this is right at the start of the fic. He's been in Hell for a while and it has damaged him, he finally reaches out for help for the first time, almost begging Lucifer not to just leave him on his own there, and it kickstarts his way out of his hell-spiral)

- • -

Enemy by Imagine Dragons (solo version) - My favourite on this list, to the point where I want to make an animatic of it so badly but I do not have the time or energy to do so. The lyrics just follow the story of Splinter Fractures so well!!! (I had this one in my brain early, so it's far more focussed on the start of the story)

I wake up to the sounds of the silence that allows For my mind to run around with my ear up to the ground I'm searching to behold the stories that are told When my back is to the world that was smiling when I turned (He wakes up in Hell, and the irony is laughable to everyone who recognises him (just Lucifer at the start, Vaggie and to some degree Charlie later))

Tell you you're the greatest But once you turn, they hate us (this one's all heaven, most evident in Lute and Sera. They tell him he's the best, the first man, absolutely great! ...until he becomes a sinner. Then he's nothing but a lowly demon to them, they treat him with disgust at best, and outright hatred at worse)

Oh, the misery Everybody wants to be my enemy Spare the sympathy (Same as before, asking Lucifer to not leave him there. Asking for the slightest drop of sympathy (he only gets it when he has a panic attack after)) Everybody wants to be my enemy (Everyone in Hell hates him for the exterminations, everyone in Heaven hates him for being a demon now. He's got no allies, only enemies)

Your words up on thе wall as you're prayin' for my fall (every sinner, especially those in the hotel, wanted him dead. They were, in a sense, praying for his fall, and they got it) And the laughter in thе halls and the names that I've been called (I can definitely imagine Adam being insecure enough that he always feels like people are laughing at him and mocking him behind his back)

They say pray it away I swear, that I'll never be a saint, no way (Adam is aware enough of his flaws to know he'll never be good enough to be redeemed into Heaven) A chair in the corner is my place I stay I shake and I think about the powers at play, the powers at play (his deal with Lucifer, knowing that a single wrong move will get him kicked back out onto Hell's streets, it absolutely terrifies him) And the kids in the dark that were doomed from the start The child in the basement, face to the pavement Oh, what a statement, love is embracement Love is a constant, love is a basis (there's a lot of different ways to interpret those last few lines: Adam believing the hotel is doomed (which he does), his feelings on the loss of Abel (twice), the fact that he still loves people, again and again, that he keeps trying even though they always leave him (ouch)) He cannot be, she cannot be, they cannot be changed, but keep on praying (He doesn't believe the hotel will ever truly work. One redeemed sinner is probably a fluke. Sinners can't change and become better... right?)

Goodbye (haha that scene in the lobby of the Heaven Embassy hahahaha... </3)

- • -

What Could Have Been by Sting ft. Ray Chen - This one is a lot more recent. Very much focussed around the chapters where they discuss Eden, and the story of Eden in general. It hurts to listen to sometimes, and has made me cry more than once (/pos)

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts (Lilith and Lucifer abandoning Adam broke his heart, absolutely shattered him. They are a large part of the why Adam is 'the monster' that everyone sees him as) And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more (His approach to Lilith wanting to leave him was to pretend he didn't want her either. That he didn't care about her or Lucifer, or whatever happened to them)

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces (Them leaving, and especially Lucifer's words about how everyone will pick anyone else than him, definitely broke him to pieces. He was left to put himself back together, but he never truly healed right) I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been (His response to Lilith being made infertile may have been harsh, but it was understandably bitter, as a response to the pain they caused him first)

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been? (Lilith loving Lucifer instead of him, and the two of them choosing to leave together, rather than stay with him. I can imagine it felt to Adam like there was something wrong with him, that he already felt unlovable even before Lucifer rubbed salt in the wound with his later comment/curse)

I am your ghost, a fallen angel (Adam's appearance in Splinter Fractures certainly looks ghostly) You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours (He firmly believed that him and Lilith were meant to be together forever, that's what made her rejection hurt as much as it did. They were literally made for each other, but Lilith still didn't want him)

- • -

That's it, that's the list (for now)! This post is so fucking long aaaaaa. I hope you like it anyways, and if you don't go through all of the lyrics that's fine, thanks for asking anyways <3

Indigo (finally got this out of drafts)

[yuseirra]

This isn't totally about 162 so I'll just post this without a read more:

Here I am trying to make sense out of things that don't~ it's times like this I realize I have a brain because I can feel it running frantically on its own in the background like CPU to form an analogy to make it all work together.

It's really confusing...tbh,

By the way, WHY did Kamiki acknowledge Ai was just your normal, ordinary girl if it were to come to this? It's what's helped me build my understanding around this guy, is that idea still relevant? About Kamiki still loving Ai even while seeing her as a person?

At this point, I won't be surprised if the author writes they changed what they originally planned bc they saw the reactions that insisted Kamiki should be a villain, because what's been going on totally contradicts what he's said back there. He DIDN'T have to say it, no one expected the character to make such a statement but he did, was there a point in that? That was the line he's made that sold me the idea that him and Ai could have really been a match as well as Ai's video.

Yeah, it's probably that Kamiki broke down after Ai passed? Because he couldn't bear her presence fading away year after year after her death, so he couldn't accept that and wanted to become closer to her somehow(through this bizzare reasoning he's formed)

So, this motive of his isn't about her popularity or how well she's known to the public, it's more about the way he "feels" about her. Because... Yeah, killing someone who surpasses Ai doesn't really automatically lead to her suddenly being acknowledged more by the public. It's really hard to form that sort of connection, wouldn't it?; and why do something like that during when Ai's still alive? It would have taken place after she's gone away.

Would it really be that he changed only because she left him? That wouldn't be it, could it?; she had his kids!! He could have gone and met them! The fact that she's alive and he could meet her would BE proving her presence and significance. So I do insist on the idea that Hikaru started growing the way he is after Ai's passing.

It does also align with the song's vibes on how he can't bear to live without her and would sacrifice anything, to fill in what's missing and all that. The song also states that he's accepted this sort of fate he is, and that he "wants to get closer to the only Ai"

So yes, it's determined that Fatal is really indeed his song.

In that case though, how DOES doing what he does make him grow closer to her?; Is there something that's made him convinced it'd actually prove to do so and an idea that has some sort of solid base or reality, or is it just him having a vague feeling of twisted closeness towards Ai? Goodness, what's gotten into him?

In an analysis I wrote sometime back, I wrote this must be the way he felt after Ai's death:

He hasn’t been able to move on at all. It’s like he was unable to take a single step forward from the moment Ai died. He’s probably been living with that kind of deep sorrow and despair, thinking he deserves to suffer as punishment, and he might have intentionally kept those feelings alive. That’s why I believe this character would’ve tried to undo the situation. To him, it’s as if time hasn’t passed at all… He just couldn’t accept Ai’s death, so he’d wish, even at the cost of anything, that it hadn’t happened, and maybe he wished he were dead instead of her. Without Ai, as the lyrics say in the song, he can't go on living. He doesn’t even want to live. If there had been any hope of saving her, I think he would’ve clung to it. If such a hope didn't exist, it would’ve been tough for him to hold on to these emotions for so long.

He really could not move on at all, huh...

But would he be worth sympathizing with or deserve some sort of pity if he only results to this... He's the one Ai loves and risked so much for, I really, really wanted that to be the case. Now I just don't know. Ai should smack him back to his senses if it is that he's lost it;

I really should give up on the idea that he wanted to bring Ai back to life at this point (even if that's what he wanted, I guess he's already crossed the line)

But why have lyrics like that in Mephisto, I wonder;; that song really ISN'T Aqua either. It's about wishing the dead back.

Hm.. It could be that he really did want her back but since that's what's impossible, he wanted to become like her by taking lives that he deems as valuable as Ai's and that really was all there is to it.

It'd be.. Sad if the guy Ai loved only amounts to this much though, I can sense his desperation and how significant Ai was to him, she really WAS his everything, but... That's not someone Ai should wish to save. He really should rot with all those lives he's taken(if he's ACTUALLY done so)so I wonder.

This turn of events would make sense and I'd have accepted it in one go if only 153-154 did not exist, so I really have to wonder what the author wants to do with that... Man, he seems too far gone repair,

REALLY!! Maybe he's really possessed and needs to undergo Misogi you know?? Sarutahiko is THE symbol of misogi.. Involves salt and water -_-)

Mephisto and Fatal really turned out to be his song!! I believe so? Because Aqua is not about wanting to meet someone beyond death again?? He's not all about I can't bear to live without you, what should I use to fill in what's missing?

So is this all there is to those songs? They seem too strong to be left at this. I feel it should be displayed in a more obvious and significant way within the story if it's tied this strongly. I'd do that if I were to be a comic writer because it'd be a perfect opportunity to bring a catharsis, but again, who knows? Mhm, I'll just stand back and read a few more chapters.

Seriously why introduce the idea that he was as far as being "noble"? There is no point in that if he results to someone that can kill their own child for some ridiculous reason. And some parts of the lyrics always stood out so much for me... Is it really natural for your average person to say things like embaracing destiny or fallen-ness, reincarnation, forgotten who I lived as, etc? Become someone else? I wonder if there is point to hope, but I do really want some explanations regarding why those whole had to be mentioned.

Will then, till next chapter drops!

[theladyofbloodshed]

I think the idea that amarantha was punishing rice comes from this line:

And that night, when she kept turning her attention to me, I knew what she wanted. I knew it wasn’t about fucking me so much as it was about getting revenge at my father’s ghost.

but before there is it (the actual punishment):

“She slaughtered half the Court of Nightmares right then and there. To prove to me that she could. As vengeance for Tamlin’s father.

and then it:

And that night, when she kept turning her attention to me, I knew in that moment there was nothing I wouldn’t do to keep her from looking at my court again. From looking too long at who I was and what I loved.

and after the first citation there is it:

But if that was what she wanted, then that was what she would get.

So basically: bc the punishment for killing tamlin's father was getting people from hewn city killed from time to time and in one night after doing that in which she was looking at him too much, rice offered himself out of fear she would keep gonig into the nc and at some point find out about velaris (even as it had anciet shields and his own shields, and spell shields......)

Thank you for finding these quotes - but it's trusting Rhys' words and I can't be dissuaded that he wasn't originally meant to be the villain in the later books based one book one.

It's also massively messed up that she killed half of the court of nightmares and this is never touched upon. How many of those people lost families in the slaughter? But they're all wicked people who deserve to live under their mountain because they have "every comfort". Idk it's just wild that rhys spent 50 years beneath the ground - but could actually leave sometimes to go to spring etc - and appreciates being in the open air yet cannot fathom that the people of the hewn city might want to see the stars too.

[bestworstcase]

Listen as someone who loves Ozpin a lot, he got the better end of the deal and we know this bc Light said explicitly he would not be alone. No it’s not a GOOD deal but considering he found and reunited with and had kids with Salem in his first new life? Things only got terrible for him truly after they broke up / tried to kill each other.

Salem watched humanity be Destroyed by the “gods” of her world who thought she should be punished bc they were easily swayed into fighting by making her Love Forever, Invulnerable (can be brown. Apart but comes back together) and then Left Her Alone Until Humanity Evolved once again either by our real world rules or magical rules or a combination of the two.

Listen I’ll write an essay about Oz and his years of fucked up loneliness and body snatching he didn’t want but Salem being Alone for That long without even the release of death at her own hands? NONE of us would handle that well who knows how she rebates when life sprang up again like. She’s the villain for sure she’s fucked up for sure but man I would be too. I would be too

it’s funny that you say this actually because i think the opposite. salem may have been brutally psychologically tortured for millions of years at the hands of cruel and tyrannical gods, but 1. she’s still herself, 2. she understands that she did not deserve this, and 3. she was ultimately able to claw back some agency for herself by jumping into the pool of grimm (which is doubly true if that really did cause humanity’s resurrection, because in that case she actually ended the worst part of her curse).

meanwhile ozma got turned into a parasite who subsists by erasing and absorbing other people’s lives, over and over and over again, entirely against his will and in a manner that also forces him to experience this from their perspective too. and the god of light tricked him into agreeing to this—so he feels it’s his fault—on top of making it his sole responsibility to redeem humanity before the gods lest the whole world be obliterated. he’s been manipulated into a position where the one person who ever made him want to live is his greatest enemy and his whole existence revolves around a hopeless campaign to get rid of her so he can save the world that he only wanted to save because she was in it. and his sense of identity has been eroded so badly that he doesn’t even consider himself to be a person anymore. and he’s convinced all of his suffering is his fault and exactly what he deserves for having failed.

and rwby has been very, very clear that a person’s soul is their identity, their self-knowledge, which means that the nature of ozma’s curse is tearing his soul apart.

when salem found out he reincarnated early she kicked everyone out of the room, tried to calm herself down, had a meltdown, blew the windows in, and then very quickly shuffled her plans around to do damage control and even try to turn this development to her advantage (<- the ‘wring the lamp’s password out of him’ plan). when ozpin’s precarious house of cards collapsed he burrowed down into oscar’s head and went catatonic for months. and if V1 is any indication, as ozpin he regularly spent months on end just dissociating all the time. salem is like… a lot more emotionally functional than he is, and i think that’s entirely because ozma’s form of reincarnation is shredding his soul and forcing him to live in the bodies of people he involuntarily consumes.

[nicolekidmanwigfactory]

On the surface, “A Man for All Seasons” is one of those stuffy British costume dramas from the 1960s, but I have such a soft spot for it. I first watched it when I got obsessed with the English Reformation when I was taking AP Euro. My first viewing happened to coincide with a prolonged, public saga my family was embroiled in with our Archdiocese at the time, so Thomas More being held up as an ultimate example of integrity in the Catholic Church was oddly reassuring. The irony also isn’t lost on me that the Church screwed over my family while the movie is about a man standing up for it. NB: For what it’s worth, the way the Church’s fucked over my family during this time was NOT, for a change, related to child sexual abuse.

I claimed to love the movie after my first watch. That was a huge fucking lie. There were a couple good parts but I found it stodgy and pretentious. Despite that judgment, the dialogue contained several nuggets that really resonated with me during that year from hell when we going up against the Church. It’s these jewels (as well as my since-continued fascination with the English Reformation) that motivated me watch it again and again over the next couple of years whenever it was on TCM.

In a script (and play) of absolute gems, the most famous line is probably More’s response to Rich’s perjured allegation against him: “It profits a man nothing to give his soul for the whole world. But for Wales?” That’s the line i really responded to after my first viewing. My family were being victimized by people flooding the Archdiocese with cash and the Archdiocese was doing their bidding for that money. For the Arch, my family was Wales.

However, I now find myself find myself drawn to More’s hypothetical defense of the Devil after his son-in-law suggests that every law should be cast aside to go after him. More vigorously responds (I’m leaving some stuff out here):

And when the last law was down, and the Devil turned 'round on you, where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws…Man's laws, not God's! And if you cut them down…do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I'd give the Devil benefit of law, for my own safety's sake!

I was teen during those years and I was angry and wanted vengeance on the assholes who hurt my family. 15+ years later, I recognize the nuances of the entire situation; the person I initially perceived as the principal villain was just as much a victim himself (he was eventually punished with his own form of exile) while the main perpetrators, who I only learned about much later, have gone unaccountable with some going on to even greater and undeserved success. But More's defense of the Devil resonates with me because it tells us so much about the law and its purpose. Not to sound naive and like Pollyanna, if you cast it aside for even an instant, how can you trust that it won't be discarded when you truly need it. That's how it felt during that year when these people in power at the Archdiocese were discarding long-standing policy when it came to my family's situation. While they may not have been violating the law (may not- I wasn't privy to my parents' legal counsel), I can't help but laugh whenever that Archdiocese (or the Church in general) whines about legal judgment being served against them in any of the child sexual abuse cases. How can they lay down the laws and then expect them to be there for them when it's convenient. More's retort about selling your soul for so little ties in so nicely here. I didn't expect to go on and on about this. I just happened to put on the movie the in the background while I worked and wanted to say I don't think it gets the credit it deserves. However, I also understand the stuffy costume drama critiques bc they are definitely valid. I love the movie but that is still true. Paul Scofield's performance as More is such a grounded portrayal of integrity and principle. It seems like it should be impossible to embody that kind of ethic without grandstanding or pomposity but it's such a masterful turn and should be studied. Leo McKern is also fantastic and turns out such a droll, bitchy performance as an unapologetic henchman of Henry VIII. He's a delight every time he's on screen.

[citrusreadstoa]

Reading The Hidden Oracle: Chapter 37 (SPOILERS)

"Percy leaped heroically from his mount and slipped in hellhound pee." Heroic entrance right here.

"Apollo, did you do this?" "I am offended! . . . I am only indirectly responsible for this!" I love their banter.

"I need a few more minutes to enchant this arrow." "Of course you do." Cut him some slack, he's still getting the hang of this whole hero thing.

"I had to admit Percy Jackson was moderately impressive." :/ ? Least reliable narrator I've ever seen.

"This time, the words came to me." Wait, so the plague chant actually isn't PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY, PLAGUEY? This is a massive disappointment. I don't think I'll recover. Also, that Styx punishment really didn't last long. The River's going soft.

"sneezed so hard he collapsed." Uh oh.

"FIE! TOO STRONG IS THY PLAGUE." FIE (exclamation): used to express disgust or outrage

"Kayla, be careful. Don't breathe--" "ACHOO!" Oh no.

"MOREO'ER, HIE!" I hate this fucking arrow. HIE (v.): go quickly

"Somehow, I managed to react appropriately. (Three cheers for reacting appropriately!)" I- Wins where you can take 'em, I suppose.

"you and Harley take Kayla and Austin to the Apollo cabin for healing." "But they are the Apollo cabin" VALID concern. Will's gonna be overworked again. Who's gonna heal everyone? Don't any campers other than the Apollo ones learn healing? People are dying left and right; you'd think other campers would learn medicine.

"Perhaps if we got some harpies and some kite string..." He's really desperate if he's suggesting that.

"I'm a stupid ugly mortal teenager! I'm nobody!" Is he throwing a tantrum? "I thought for sure . . . The cosmos would stop turning. Percy and Chiron would rush to reassure me. None of that happened . . . 'You're Apollo. We need you. You can do this. Besides, if you don't, I will personally throw you off the top of the Empire State Building.'" My friend compared this scene to the one in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles where the four turtles are about to be crushed to death in the Labyrinth maze and Leo[nardo Hamato, not -nidas Valdez], who is the only one who can get them out by making a portal, first pouts at them to ask for a self-esteem boost. Something like "Y'know, it would really help me out if you told me I'm your champion" because the whole point of the Labyrinth was to get to the center and become a "champion" and receive world-class pizza (that episode was freakishly reminiscent of how PJO characters often end up beating their villains of the week). Yes, my friend and I frequently miscommunicate which Leo we are talking about when we discuss fandom stuff.

"just the sort of thing Zeus used to say to me before my soccer matches." Yeesh, never a good thing to be compared to Zeus, but the throw-you-off-a-building threat was deserved. Also, I think Rhea might not be the only one mixing up their centuries.

"a monument to my own conceit. Nero's pride was no more than a reflection of mine." A character development moment! Yes!

"The demigods were getting very good at scattering." I bet they've had a lot of practice, what with all the attacks on their only safe haven over the years.

"a gust of wind caught it... perhaps Zephyros" Yeah!!! That's good. It would've been too hard to believe if Apollo made that shot naturally. A bit soon to call Zephyros awesome, though, since this is just making up for the murder he committed, but good on him for helping avoid the deaths of dozens of small children.

"like a pachinko machine." I know what you're all thinking: "What's the difference between pachinko and pinball?" That's what I'm here to answer. According to Google, pachinko is an upright, vertical version of pinball that uses multiple small balls as opposed to pinball's singular, larger ball.

"geysers of motor oil out his ears" NOOOO! Not the harbor! Oh man, the beach naiads are gonna be so sick after this. Do beach naiads exist? If not, the beach animals and plants are gonna be sick. This is the third geyser we've seen this book and by far the worst.

"a case of hay fever . . . the statue's head achieved first-stage separation from his body." Deadliest case of hay fever I've seen yet. Hey, if it works, it works.

"Then the air blooped out of its neck hole" Blooped was pretty far down on the list of verbs I expected to see in this book. Next time I'll be more open-minded and prepared for verbs of all variety.

[shinigami-queen]

OC Playlist game

I was tagged by @dotr-rose-love and I just thought, why not.

I have never talked about my OCs on this blog before, so feel free to just skip this post if you are not interested.

For the past 6 or 7 years I have had this idea of a book that I want to write. I'm not doing great on the writing aspect, but the story and its characters haven't left my head so I'm guessing that's a good sign.

In this game, I will put down some songs that I have associated with one of my main characters, Noah Ridley. Now, in order for you to understand the reason I picked these songs, I'll have to tell you a few things about him.

My book is inspired a lot by Avatar, so there are people who can yield elements (fire, water, air, earth-which is divided into two categories, material and nature-and storm). Noah is an "Airbender", or as I call them, a Windborne. He is also the Spirit-blessed, a Windborne that has been chosen by the Wind deity and thus has some more special powers (I'm not going to put more details about this here, but if you are interested I might make more posts about it).

Long story short, Noah had to kill his own parents because they were turned into dark shells of themselves (Shadowtamers) by the main villain of my book and there were no means to make them normal again (yet). After this he hated himself, blamed his weakness for their deaths and let himself get caught by the villain, who has him tortured in order to turn him into a Shadowtamer too. Confined in a dark cell with no light, that fills with water every once in a while and empties just before his drowning point, Noah only thinks of his family, and how he deserves this punishment that could never wash the blood from his hands. Happy stuff.

And without further ado, here are some songs that remind me of him and inspire me!

Destroyer - Of Monsters and Men

"You better run boy, run, but be afraid Cry boy, cry Don't play the game Gravity holds me down

And it's taking over I call everywhere, oh I cry out

You are my destroyer I call everywhere, oh I cry out"

Well, this song is self-explanatory I think. It gives me the impression of someone who is suffering from something they did or something that happened to them. The lyric "Gravity holds me down" fits really well also because of his powers, since in my book Windborne defy gravity and are free-spirited, so to be held down by gravity for them is the same as dying. The memories of his family, both the happy ones and their deaths, are constantly taking over him and they are his "destroyer".

2. Everything I wanted - Billie Eilish

"I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you'd think And if I'm being honest It might've been a nightmare To anyone who might care

Thought I could fly So I stepped off the Golden Nobody cried Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care"

Now this is interesting. This song makes me think so much of Noah it hurts. Every time I listen to it I have this thought that he dreams he is on the top of a building, and his family is looking up at him from below, beckoning him down. They are just "standing right there", and "they might care" if this wasn't a dream and if he didn't actually feel like he wanted to die. But all he wants is to step off and join them in the afterlife, because he feels that that's what he deserves.

"I had a dream I got everything I wanted But when I wake up, I see You with me"

Now this person is my main character, Skye, who is also the love interest of Noah. The first book, which is mostly about her searching for him to rescue him, explores their connection through dreams and their blossoming romance.

Now I'll add some honorable mentions, songs that vaguely remind me of him, but not as specifically as the first two.

3. Drown - Bring me the Horizon

4. Numb - Tom Odell

5. Saved my Life - Sia

And... that's it! Sorry for the spam! If you are interested in stuff like this, let me know and I can post in more detail about my world and my children. See ya!

[chrisevansmentee]

i love you anyway, bruised, battered, broken or whole.

As his blood dripped from his lips to the floor, he wrote, he held the pen with shaky fingers and penned the letter, if Steve would find him, he would see reasons to just finish him. he did not deserve to live.

"choose the light, no matter how bright it is, hold the sun responsible for daylight crimes, smile at the moon..." it was a poem his mother used to read for them when they were little, Steve would get it, Steve would be livid and he would just end it all. He leaned on the wall and took a deep breath, it was a big mistake because his bruised rib hurt and he could not suppress the whine that escaped his lip. God he was pathetic, how did he go from being the scary bad guy to being beaten around by a self righteous prick. In a sick twisted way, he enjoyed it, he enjoyed seeing Steve worked up and bothered because of him, he loved seeing the crease of his brows when he sights him, the self suffering sigh that escapes his lip, the suppressed groans, signs he had come to love, little expressions he had began to admire.

He enjoyed the crunch, crunch, crunch of his bones under Steve's fists, he enjoyed the way he'd hold him down and choke him, it wasn't supposed to be sexy but he found it sexy, he wished it was under different circumstances, he was positive Steve would have been gentler.

The crazy thing was that he was strong enough to overpower Steve, pin him down, kill him with one punch and live normally but he enjoyed it. if they both survived this, he'd treat him to a lavish dinner, look deep into his eyes while they ate and after he'd speak sweet nothings into his ear as they made love but that was wishful thinking. Steve was a super hero and he was a villain, they'd never get along.

He finished the short poem and was about to slide it under the door when he heard Steve's voice.

"buck?" it was said passionately as if they were already lovers, as if they were just fighting some minutes ago.

"babe hey" he shook him gently as though he were waking him from a dream. it was too real to be a dream and who the hell is babe?

"sweetheart, you are scaring me, please open your yes" he was frantic now, frantic was never good, he'd better just do as he said to avoid another punch.

his past handlers were never this patient, if they became frantic, a really painful punishment would follow.

he opened his eyes and yup it was a dream, a dream. it never even existed, he was here with his sweet husband of five years and they had never gotten into a fight, he was safe.

Steve's blue eyes were safe, his strong arms were safe, his soft calloused palms were safe, they were pk, they were not super heroes, they were just two men who were in love and were in their bedroom. no handlers, no cryo, no guns.

Steve breathed a sigh of relief "you had me worried for a second" he struggled and failed to hide the tremor in his voice.

Bucky sighed, he lacked words to explain what he'd seen. he was sure Steve understood.

"those dreams are becoming frequent"  Steve said as he helped him sit up. they had a rule; no touching after nightmares. yet it broke him to see Steve struggle to obey the rule but it was for their own good.

the last time it happened, Steve was left with a broken nurse, nobody knew how it happened but it happened, it took Bucky two weeks to get over the guilt no matter how much Steve tried to reassure him.

Steve went out and returned with a cup of water for him to drink.

he took a sip and ignored the pointed look he was getting from Steve.

"what did you see?" it was a familiar dance, one that he had mastered all the steps to. Steve  still had some hope though that one day he would tell him the truth.

he took his time to swallow.

Steve groaned.

"where do i even start?"

"the part where you agree to go for therapy"

he was too exhausted to argue, so he busied himself with taking little sips of water and huffing.

"grown man, hiding behind a glass of water and i thought I've seen it all" he mumbled. Bucky wanted to laugh but it was not a good time.

he wished he could say something but there was nothing to say, he could not even understand himself.

so he sighed.

Steve visibly jerked "you always do this"

"babe" he said grogilly

"not now, i want us to talk about this, we have danced around it for too long, let's come clean with each other"

"I've never lied to you"

"but you are not telling me everything either"

he nodded

"its ok but i just need you to get help"

"i think its all coming back to me"

Steve turned to him "what?"

"my past" he handed the empty glass to Steve " I keep seeing faces and reliving the same moments and in those dreams there is handler's and i'm always fighting with you"

Steve- God bless his soul- was genuinely confused.

"i don't get it either" Bucky said

he wanted Steve to be happy, he wanted peace and if going for therapy or whatever Steve wanted him to do would keep the peace then it was a small price to pay.

"i don't get it" he said again

"can i hug you now?" Steve asked

he opened his arms and Steve crawled into his embrace,they kissed for a while before Steve, lay on his chest.

"I'll go for therapy' he said after a long pause

Steve hummed

"I'm serious and no you are not forcing me, i will do anything to keep us safe" he kissed his forehead again "i can't sleep peacefully anymore without fearing that the people i love would die because of me, i can't keep living with the nagging feeling that one night, somebody would come and destroy our peace"  that was all he could say.

Steve kissed his arm. "i could climb you now, but it's too early to cut my lip"

"when has that ever stopped you"

"i love you, Bucky, battered, bruised or broken."

"i love you too Stevie, cut lips or not"

"little shit" Steve said playfully.

it wasn't a perfect start but it was good enough.