#i’m a bad person
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i get mean when i’m nervous like a bad dog
Unknown/@papayajuan2019/a hero of our time - mikhail lermontov/poor things (2023)/ @sarakleijn/venetta octavia/ @papayajuan2019/@ https.c0rps3 on instagram/cop car - mitski
#Lilly’s weaves#web weaving#web weave#parallels#poetry#poetry parallels#book quotes#quotes#poor things#Mitski#cop car#feminine rage#girlblogging#this is what makes us girls#anger issues#cruelty#bad dog aesthetic#that should be a thing tbh#i’m a bad person
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Right now
#angst#hurt and comfort#hurt/comfort#canon x oc#oc x canon#kinito the axolotl#self insert oc#self insert#flesh of a hare#the flesh pit#I’m a bad person#but at least I know he’d like me anyway#feels bad to be posting a comfort character on the blog not meant for it#so#idk sorry anyway#angst blog
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tumblr girlssssssss i made a uquiz😱😱😱take it or i’ll find u😱😱😱😱 https://uquiz.com/LtOePT
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#vent#i just wish that#i could find happiness again#it’s been so#so hard to find it recently#nothing i do#nothing works anymore#it’s so tiring#im just so tired#i just want to be happy with myself#with my art#but i cant#i keep comparing myself#to peoples popularity#to their art#and i’m disliked a lot#i’m a bad person#i feel like people shouldn’t like me#but people do#and it confuses me#they tell me i’m a good person#and they tell me why#but in the end i can’t see it#i don’t know my personality#i don’t know who i am#i don’t know what i am#i don’t feel right#when i look in the mirror all i see is the words disappointment written across my face#delete later#because i’m not supposed to vent i’m supposed to draw
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nuh!!!!!!! nonono you don hurt!!
But I do
Seeing these posts, people comforting me
That hurts people
I hurt people
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when you’re not really sad but your heart and soul just feel kind of empty and cold so you want to write so you can feel something good but you can’t write anything because your writing comes from your soul and that bitch is out of order
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So the megadungeon/subterranean city i’m currently running uses a bunch of cool extra traits (randomly determined each encounter) that enemies can have to spice up the many, many encounters in dynamic ways
And sometimes enemies can have multiple extra traits
It’s all fun and games until the enemy:
constantly pulls you towards it, and completely stops movement away from it if you’re within 5 feet
has an aura that damages you at the start of your turn if you’re close enough
is immune to damage and negative effects from the last player it damaged
meaning you literally cant hurt it on your turn if you’re near it, nor can you escape
i rolled a “get even more traits” option too, but decided to just ignore that roll because jesus christ it was almost a TPK as it was
also it had 300 HP and dealt a shitton of damage per round but we don’t need to talk about that
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am i a bomb?
#for as long as i can remember people have alway been scared of my reaction#am i mean#am i too much#am i unkind#what makes me so scary#people are afraid of me#that’s not what i want#i never intended to serve judgment cold#I never meant to serve judgement at all#i think maybe I’m just a bad person#that’s why they are afraid#because i am a bomb#and i will blow up#and i will destroy everything#thoughts#on life#my thoughts#rant#self pity#bad people#i’m a bad person
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i’m a horrible person i think
#eden’s diary#i can’t do it again#i’m a bad person#i can’t do that again#that’s awful#i would hurt them again#but i feel so unwanted#which isn’t fair#they haven’t done anything
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my inability to be a good person 24/7, all the time to everyone is why i’m a bad person.
#bpd#borderline pd#borderline personality disorder#living with borderline#bad person#i’m a bad person#cluster b friendly#cluster b safe#cluster b pds#cluster b personality disorder#cluster b#cluster b stigma
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I’ve made up so many personalities to act around people that I barely know who I am anymore
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wrath 🎀
u fucking whore i hope you (buffering. reload. reload) live your life far away from me where we never have anything to do with each other again. i’m sick of being the bigger person and i have a right to resent you for what you’ve done actually you piece of shit. i will not forgive u. good luck with your life but i will win. i’m better than you and i will win.
#i can’t give up girlies#i won’t die and in ten years we’ll meet again for the reunion and u will see#embracing hatred and spite#i really need to eat something before i lose my marbles for real#’ru mad at me about something’ boy the audacity. quit asking this#reason u don’t know is the very reason i’m so pissed off in the first place#i’m the abnormal one for not being over this entire shitshow by now but i have never felt a normal proportion of emotion about anything#this is established#you on the other hand don’t give a shit about anything#ion wanna pretend i’m ok with this rn get the fuck out of this country already#go home#get ur rich family to buy u that m2 and terrorize the english highways what the fuck do i care#i’ll buy my whip with my own money motherfucker#man i’m a bad friend#i’m a bad person#added to list of posts i should probably keep in my drafts but i don’t care; this is my house#huuuuuuu ion wanna talkkk right nowww but what the fuck am i supposed to say#‘ru mad at me?’ yes very much so#why? misplaced sense of entitlement maybe??? i’m evil?? i’m silly and childish and not being fair to you#i don’t want to talk#splitting headache#deep breath. don’t be a sissy little bitch and say the right thing. let me cook
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i’m sorry if it makes you feel bad for being my soulmate when i talk about my soul sister.
i just can’t keep it out of my head that i hurt her.
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hey! let’s play my favorite game
do I not have friends cause:
a. I genuinely enjoy the silence and it’s nice not having to worry about other people
b. I push people away before they can push me away
c. I dont deserve good treatment and I’m going to end up alone regardless to I don’t even try in relationships anymore
#mental illness#Bpd#bpd fp#suicidal thoughts#self deprecation#Depression#anxeity#self hatred#mental illness vent#inferiority complex#Academic failure#I’m a bad person#Ending up alone
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Broken
Scared
Don’t know what to do
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The overwhelming self hatred of being worse than your mother Vs the agonizing emptiness of feeling like you have no mother at all
#I’m such a bad person#but she’s barley a parent#but I’m worse for her and everyone#tired#deppressed#exhausted#toxic behavior#toxic home#toxic mother#mommy issues#numb#mentally tired#lonliness#pathetic#alone#i’m a bad person#sad thoughts#i hate it here#suicidal#pain#anger issues
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