#i think martha really is best as a woman having seen both versions shes more endearing i think

[prismartist]

2006 bway company is so real for casting a filipina as martha. gives me more reason to love her <3

[toothpastecanyon]

Martha Of WEFIDS, Chapter 5

The Dread Pirate Mizar, and the little girl who would grow up to become her.  

See most updated version on Archive of Our Own.

______________________________________________________________

“And Belle and I, we realised what the sludge demon was afraid of - the water! She told me to toss her a water gun, and we both sprayed that thing until it was a puddle on the floor!”

Alcor laughed at that. He sat back in Martha’s bed and put an arm around her; she was drawing in her sketchbook, looking almost like she wasn’t listening at all.

“On the living room floor. Lionel was so surprised when he came home and saw the state of the house, he was like ‘I just went to the library for five minutes, what on Earth happened!’ Hah! It was-”

“Alcor?”

Alcor blinked, and looked down at her. She hadn’t looked up from her sketchbook.

“Uh, yes? Martha?”

Martha took a moment to get a line just right, then opened her mouth. “Did she have friends? Belle?”

“Friends? What do you mean?”

“You know, friends?” Finally, she looked up. “Like people she met in school? and they went and hung out together?”

“Wha- oh, of course! Belle had tons of friends - she was good at that!” Alcor rested his head on the wall, grinning up at the ceiling. “She was so good at that. She had a best friend, too - I think she was there for the sludge demon as well. Really nice human, her name was…”

Then he stopped. Frowned. Martha raised an eyebrow.

“Was…?”

“Oh, what was her name? It’s been so long now, it was… it was…”

“Well, her name doesn’t matter.” Martha opened her sketchbook a bit. “Hey, Alcor, when I was in the park today-”

“Onika!” He bounced the whole bed as he sat up. “That’s the name!” Wow, it’s been a long time since I thought of her… a long, long time.” He paused, and looked back at Martha. “Sorry, what were you saying again?”

Martha was frowning at him; after a moment, she looked away. “Can we see Our Darkest Star?”

“Huh?”

“It’s a movie.” She drew a sweeping line in her sketchbook. “It’s about a pirate, and I think a demon, too. All the posters I look up are people kissing, but other than that it looks pretty cool! Can we see it?”

“Wha-” Alcor blinked, and then made a face. “Oh… ugh, that Twin Souls ripoff? You want to see that?”

Martha glowered at him. “Yes, I really do! Why don’t you want to? Do you think it’s stupid? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Whoa!” He leaned back; she hadn’t been quite this prickly in a while. “I don’t - I don’t think you’re stupid? I’m just, uh… why do you want to see it so bad?”

“Why do I need a reason to see something? Fine, if you won’t see it with me, I’ll see it myself!”

“No, no, Martha, I’ll…” Alcor hesitated, swallowed, and decided to make a big sacrifice. “If it… really means that much to you… I’ll see the Twin Souls movie with you.”

“It’s not called Twin Souls. It’s Our Darkest Star.” She said, but gave him a sleepy grin. “You’ll like it. You’ll see!”

“Have you seen it before?”

“Nope!” With a yawn, she nestled in closer to Alcor. “But she… she said it was good. So… yeah…”

“She?”

Martha’s eyes were already closing. “Yeah…” She managed, and then rolled over and smushed her face into Alcor’s side. He couldn’t help but chuckle at that; he stroked her hair for a moment, then reached down and gently extracted her sketchbook from her hands. She didn’t let go of it at first, but he put his hand over hers, and slowly, her grip loosened.

It was open to the newest drawing, and Alcor took a look at it. It was of a young woman in a pirate costume - a much more stereotypical pirate than Martha usually drew. In the corner was a little note in her stilted handwriting: ‘For Cjacy’.

Cjacy? Alcor probed his omniscience and found another soul a few houses down, reading under her covers with a flashlight. He raised his eyebrows, and then he smiled at that.

So that’s why she wanted to see this movie. Well, if there was ever a good cause to put himself through a crappy Twin Souls ripoff, this was definitely it. He almost wasn’t dreading it now.

With a chuckle to himself, Alcor kissed the top of her head, and carefully extricated himself from her arms. Just like the sketchbook, she took a moment to release him, but once she did, she settled back into bed with a sigh and a peaceful smile.

He looked on that for a moment, looked at the soft dreams beginning to play in her mind, and he grinned to himself. He placed the sketchbook down on her end table, then made his way to the door, turned out the lights, and left her to dream.

______________________________________________________________

Martha, Alcor had come to realise, was an incredibly honest kid. She didn’t hide how she felt about things: if she was happy with you she was all smiles and cuddles, and if she thought you were doing something annoying she was not shy to say so. And she wasn’t very good at pretending.

No, he thought with a smile as she pretended to be interested in his lesson. She wasn’t very good at all.

“Martha?”

“Yeah,” Martha said, doodling in her sketchbook. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that’s really interesting, that’s… yeah.”

He let himself peer through the pages to see what she was working on; another doodle of that Wendjy figure, piloting a spaceship right through a UL cruiser. God, that movie was terrible, but at least she seemed to enjoy it. He cleared his throat again.

“Martha.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Martha blinked, and looked up. “I mean, what? I was listening!”

“I know you were.” He sat back in the air. “I was just saying, whoo, we got through this lesson faster than I was expecting! Wanna take an early lunch?”

“We did?” She glanced down at her sketchbook. “I mean, uh, yeah! I wanna take an early lunch! Maybe I’ll go to the park, you know, just to draw…”

Grinning, Alcor raised a hand and snapped them back into the house. “Well, whatever you do in the park, I hope you have fun, kid! Love you!”

Martha was out of the door before he could wave.

“Love you,” he said, a little quieter. The smile didn’t fade from his face, but it softened as he watched her run down the street, away from him.

She was already growing up, wasn’t she? He’d gotten used to having his little adventuring buddy with him throughout the day, but if there was one thing humans always did, it was change. Soon, she’d probably be telling him she didn’t need the bedtime stories, either.

A clock was ticking on the wall. Years passed so quickly for a demon. She was already eleven, already growing up, already starting to find her friends, find her place in the world… because she had a place.

Alcor swallowed.

She had a place in this world. But the only place he had left - it was by her side, for as long as she lived.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

For as long as she lived… He let out a breath, and then shook his head. That wasn’t something he needed to worry about now.

Now, he needed to be happy for her. Happy that she was growing up, growing away.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

He turned from the window, and wondered what to do with all this time.

______________________________________________________________

This was it. The same park. The same picnic table. She sat in the same place, looked around, and tried to draw like her heart wasn’t beating out of her chest. Her hands were shaking, and she glared down at them like she could scare them into steadiness.

Why was she being so weird about this? She was a Mizar, she was great at making friends! Besides, she’d prepared for this! They watched the movie yesterday, and then she’d read the wiki until she knew every trivia fact by heart - did you know Our Darkest Star was banned in Reb 5 for its depiction of piracy? She probably knew even more about it than Cjacy at this point; she was gonna be so impressed!

Cjacy. Martha glanced around again, and kind of hated the rush that went through her when she thought she spotted her. She was scared - what the fuck was happening? Cjacy wasn’t scary; she’d probably never even been in a fight before! None of those school kids had - yeah, she could take on ten Cjacies and still win without even breaking a sweat!

She wiped her forehead. Sweat… what the fuck, she was sweating! Oh, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe she should go back to Alcor, she should-

“Martha?”

Martha whipped around and saw three kids coming her way - three? She couldn’t help but shrink into her seat. Cjacy came up to her with a dazzling grin.

“Hi, I thought that was you!” She looked back at her two friends. “This is who I was telling you about, guys! See, Brenjo was totally lying about how she got expelled - I mean, look at her!”

“Yeah, she’s tiny!” One of her friends giggled, and Martha didn’t know why that made her feel like she was dying. “Is she even in the same grade as us?”

“I’m eleven.” Martha said. “How old are you?”

“I’m twelve!” Piped up the other friend. “I’m the-”

“Oldest kid in the year, we know, Vyrie!” Cjacy rolled her eyes, and grinned at Martha. “Sorry about the ambush, these are my friends! That’s Vyrie and this is Aqshee!”

Vyrie, a little red in the face, waved at her. Aqshee looked with wide eyes at her sketchbook.

“I heard you can draw! Can you draw me?”

“Why would I do that? I like drawing interesting things.”

“Wha- hey, rude!”

“Ooooh, burn!” Cjacy cackled. “Don’t worry, Aqshee, she was like this last time, too.”

Martha frowned. “Like what?”

“Like a total buttface, of course.” Cjacy leaned over her. “Hey, what are you drawing this time? More Wendjy?”

“Yeah! I saw the movie yesterday - uh, again, I mean.” She slid the sketchbook over, but kept a firm grip on it. “Did you know Wendjy was played by Slevina Jakoradorsk? I read she once got intercepted by pirates on her way to the set, but they let her go because one of their kids loved the book so much.” She grinned up at Cjacy. “Speaking of the book, did you bring it?”

“What? No, why would I just have it on me?”

“Oh. But you said-” Martha blinked as Cjacy suddenly picked her sketchbook up. “Hey!”

“Oh my stars, these are so good! Oh, I love this one!” Cjacy turned to a drawing of Wendjy and Caat, and showed it to her friends. “Goddd, look at how happy they look together in this one! Ugh, I just wanna rip them into tiny little pieces!”

Martha gave a crooked smile. So it seems like she liked it? Maybe?

“What’re those scribbles in the corner?” Vyrie tilted her head. “For Cj-”

Like lightning Martha snatched the sketchbook back. She glared as they all giggled at her.

“For Cjacy?”

“Those were for me?”

“No!” Martha watched Cjacy’s grin widen. “No, they weren’t for you! You just read it wrong, okay?”

“Aww, you like me, don’t you!”

“I will stab you!” She jabbed at them with her pencil. “I’ll take you all on, don’t laugh at me!”

But they did, and Martha could do nothing but sit there with her cheeks burning. Cjacy reached over and ruffled her hair, and she batted her arm away.

“Well, well, well!” Cjacy said, after a moment. “And here I was thinking you were just a jerk! You’re sooo cute!”

“I’m not cute! Shut up!”

“She’s adorable!” said Aqshee.

“I’m not adorable! I just-, I- oh, whatever!” Martha gathered her stuff and stood up on the bench so she was taller than all of them. “Whatever! I don’t need to deal with this! I’m leaving!”

She hopped off the bench then, but Cjacy caught her arm.

“H-hey, wait, wait,” Cjacy was trying not to laugh. “You, ah, wanted to borrow my book, right?”

Martha glared at her.

“I’ve got it at home, I’ll go over and get it for you! Do you wanna come with?”

“Go back home?” Vyrie frowned at her. “You don’t have time for that, we’ve got practice!”

“Oh, I’ll be late, it’s fine. You guys go ahead, okay?” She looked back at Martha, grinned, and tugged her arm. “Come on, let’s get you that book!”

With a lump in her throat, Martha let her lead her along the park path. They were going further from the house than she’d ever gone on her own; she cast a glance over her shoulder, and turned back to see Cjacy grinning at her.

“So where’re you from, Martha?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Oh, back to acting like a tough gal, huh?” She smirked and squeezed her hand. “Come onn, I’m just curious! Feels like you popped out of nowhere a year ago - where’d you live before that?”

“Reb 5.”

“Reb 5? Really?” She whistled. “Oh, I would’ve pegged you as one of those outer colony kids.”

“We moved around a lot.” Martha looked away. “I kept getting expelled.”

“Hah! Well, that sounds cool! I wish I got to move around!” She rolled her eyes. “I’ve never even been off planet. Well, my dad says we went to the moon when I was three, but come on, Dad, you don’t remember things when you’re three! And besides - the moon? That’s like, so barely off planet it just sounds lame to say. Vyrie got taken all the way to Homeworld last summer, but me? Oooh, I went to the moon. Ugh!”

Martha raised her eyebrows. “I can’t imagine being stuck on one planet so long. We had a spaceship-”

“And that’s just the thing, so do we!” They turned off the park into a row of big houses, and Cjacy sighed. “My dad said he went all over the UL when he was young, but now he seems to think I want to spend my whole freaking life in Kepler.”

“Well, it’s a nice planet.”

“Who cares how nice it is? I don’t care if it’s the best place in the universe if I can’t leave it!” She looked back at Martha, and gave a guilty grin. “Sorry, I went off on one of my big rants, didn’t I? It’s, uh… well, I’m glad you like it. Anyway, we’re here.”

Cjacy stopped in front of a shimmering magnetic barrier, and stood on tiptoes to reach the iris scan. It flashed green, and the shimmering faded; she stepped through, and motioned Martha to do the same.

“Come on!”

Martha followed cautiously up the driveway. Cjacy’s house was much bigger than her own; it looked like an upside down pyramid, sleek and white with large windows and a neat green lawn growing on the underside of an overhang. It cast a deep shadow on the driveway, and Martha felt colder as she stepped into it. Cjacy held the front door open for her, and she felt like she was entering a fortress.

“So, this is my house! Oh, shoes off, by the way.” Cjacy slipped her sneakers off and grinned down at her. “Do you like it?”

Martha looked around. “It’s big.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll show you my bedroom! It’s just through here.”

She punched some buttons next to a dark door by the wall; it beeped, and when Cjacy led her through the whole place seemed to twist around Martha - it felt like getting blipped by Alcor, and when she stumbled out, she found herself in a big, but normal-looking bedroom. The view from the windows was messing with her, though - she stepped closer, and realised…

“We’re upside down.” She walked towards the edge, and couldn’t help but shiver as she looked down and saw blue sky stretching out before her like an endless abyss. Houses seemed like stalagtites, cars like skittering little creatures on the roof of a cave. She looked up at the ceiling, then back at Cjacy. “Artificial gravity? Why’d you put it in here?”

“Well, I didn’t, whoever built the house did.” She grinned. “It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? Now, for my book…”

Martha watched her walk over to her bed. She lifted up the sheets, and for a moment Martha thought she’d see a big hole, but instead she slipped her hand between the bedframe and the mattress. With a little effort, she got out the book, and tossed it to the floor.

“There you go!” Cjacy started carefully remaking her bed. “Gotta make sure this is neat… oh, you can take it!”

Bending down, Martha set down her sketches and picked up the book. It was a well-loved paperback, with battered pages coming loose from the spine. On the cover were two silhouettes backlit by a deep red star; a battleship loomed above them, and all around were glittering stars.

Cjacy was getting up. “Oh, I love the cover art! It kind of reminds me of the stuff you drew. Don’t loose it, okay? And tell me what you think, I think it’s even better than the- oh, shoot.”

“What? Martha looked up sharply. She’d darted over to the window, and Martha saw a car pull up to the driveway above them. “Who is that?”

“It’s my, my dad! Why’s he back there?” Cjacy glanced back at Martha, and then quickly drew the curtains. “Ugh, and you’re gonna be so hard to explain! Don’t say anything weird, okay?”

“What do you-”

“I mean- just follow my lead!”

Martha heard a door close downstairs, and couldn’t help but tense up. The book in her hands; she stuffed it down her shirt just as a voice rang out.

“Cjacy?” The voice was deep, and annoyed. “The house says you’re home. What are you doing here? You have practice!”

Cjacy shrank back a bit. “Dad? I was just-”

“Don’t shout! Come downstairs. And bring your friend, too.”

Martha clenched her fists at that. Cjacy huffed as she motioned her towards the door, and she followed slowly, cautiously. The doors slid closed behind them, and in front, they opened up to reveal a man standing in the entrance. He was tall, almost tall enough to hit his head on the ceiling, and he stood with his hands clasped in front of him. He was not smiling; his lips turned down at the edges, like they were used to this expression.

“Cjacy,” He said. “You’re supposed to be at practice.”

“I was just going, Dad! I was just a bit late-”

“A bit late? You were supposed to be there almost half an hour ago!”

“Well, I lost track of time. It’s not my fault!”

“Not your fault?” His gaze slid over to Martha, and she glared back defiantly. “Whose fault is it, then? Your little friend over here.”

“Wha- no! Leave her alone, Dad-”

He took a step forwards. “I haven’t seen you at Cjacy’s school before. What’s your name, kid?”

Martha opened her mouth, but Cjacy cut in.

“She’s Martha. She’s, uh, a grade below us, so you wouldn’t have seen her before.” Cjacy crossed her arms. “And, she’s kind of shy, so she’d really rather not go through one of your little interrogations, Dad.”

“Shy, huh.” He raised an eyebrow at her sullen expression. “Looks more like a troublemaker to me.”

“Dad!”

“I’m just introducing myself, sweetie.” He walked up to Martha with slow, deliberate steps, leaned down, and stuck out his hand. “Maybe I’m being too harsh. How about a proper introduction?”

Martha stared distrustfully at his hand, but took it. He squeezed too tight, and leaned in too close.

“My name is Commander Uzlan Azaranda. It’s always a pleasure to meet one of my daughter’s friends.”

Martha swallowed. The book in her shirt was pressing against her chest. “You’re in the UL?”

“Yes. I’m in charge of all the domestic forces in this star system.” He finally smiled; it wasn’t friendly. “Strange, I could feel your heartrate spike just now. You’re very lucky to live in such a peaceful section of the UL, you know. I take protecting that peace very seriously - do you understand me?”

“Yes? But I-I’m not nervous!” With some effort, she pulled her hand away. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Hmph. Good. Then you won’t have any trouble from me. But you should know, I keep a close eye on my daughter’s friends.” He drew himself up, and laid a heavy hand on Cjacy’s shoulder. “She’s a very promising young lady, and I wouldn’t want her falling in with the wrong sort.”

Cjacy pushed his hand away. “Dad, you’re doing the interrogation thing again! Can you just leave her alone already?”

“Okay, I’ve said my piece.” His hand came back down on her shoulder. “I came back here to have lunch, but it looks like I’m taking you to practice. Do I have to drop off your friend too, or is she-”

“I can walk.” Martha cut in. “I don’t live far.”

“Good.” He opened the front door. “After you.”

Martha couldn’t meet his eyes as she passed him by. She glanced at Cjacy mouthing ‘Sorry’ at her, hesitated, and then walked out of the house. Arms crossed, hugging the book to her chest, she walked down the driveway, and through the magnetic fence that shimmered into existence behind her. She forced herself to walk until she was back in the park, out of his sight, and then she let out a breath she’d been holding since she heard the ‘Commander’ by his name.

Her knees were trembling, but not from fear. She cast a dirty glare back at the house - they were all the same, weren’t they? It didn’t matter if those UL space wastes were stationed in sunny Kepler or the middle of WEFIDS, they never missed a chance to ruin things for her.

Cjacy. Martha’s eyes stung a bit as she walked, and that made her even angrier. You know what, screw her! Screw her! She didn’t need to be friends with some prissy little Commander’s daughter - she was a Mizar, she could make friends with someone else, she could make friends with anybody she wanted! She didn’t even like Cjacy anyway, she didn’t like Our Darkest Star, she didn’t know why she spent all those hours drawing-

And Martha stopped dead. Drawing. Her hands flew to her shirt; she whipped out Cjacy’s book, but her sketchbook - she left it in the bedroom!

She felt a cold pit of fear, and then a rush of anger. Cjacy’s book - she gripped it tight enough to hurt. They took her sketchbook, they took her fucking sketchbook! Why did everyone keep taking EVERYTHING AWAY FROM HER!

With a yell, Martha tore the book in half and tossed one end into the street; the other she gripped tight and started ripping pages out of it and scattering them in the grass and kicking and stomping on them. After a little while she could see someone approaching her - she fled back to her house with a couple pages crumpled in her fist, and locked the door. Then she stood there, trembling with rage, so angry she couldn’t even think to do anything but pace and shove things off the counters and watch them shatter. Whatever, she thought. Let him say something about it. Who cares? Who cares!

She didn’t want to calm down, but eventually, reluctantly, the roaring in her ears faded, and when she looked around at the upturned table and the broken glass on the floor, when she opened her fist and tattered pages fluttered to the ground like dead butterflies, she could feel an uncomfortable shame pressing in on her. She could see Alcor’s face in her mind now, how disappointed he’d look, how he’d sit by her bed and he’d ask her quietly what happened.

Martha pursed her lips. She didn’t want to see his face. She didn’t want to look at any of this. She turned away and retreated back into her room, wondering when he’d be back.

He was probably on some kind of summons, she thought. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too long - it was so much worse to wait for him.

______________________________________________________________

Alcor wasn’t back soon. It was a couple hours before Martha heard a knock on her door, and she squeezed her eyes shut.

“Martha?”

His voice - she hated how worried he sounded.

“Are you okay?”

Martha hesitated, and then sighed. “I’m okay,” she said, and then: “And you can come in. I know you were gonna ask that.”

She heard the door swing open. She stared at the wall as he came in, as he sat down on her bed; she couldn’t look him in the eyes. She could hear him open his mouth-

“Look, I get it, I messed up,” she cut in. She looked back at him now, and crossed her arms. “I’m sorry I messed up the kitchen, okay? I’ll clean it up, you don’t have to make a big thing about it.”

“Okay,” he said, slowly. Then: “Martha?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”

Martha had an answer ready for that, and she opened her mouth… but it didn’t come out. There was a lump in her throat, and as she tried to talk her eyes started watering and all the fear and the shame came flooding out of her like a dam bursting. Alcor was there in an instant; she buried herself in his familiar suitjacket and felt his arms and wings close gently around her, and she sobbed.

“I-I’m s-s-sor-ry,” she tried to say. “I-I d-i-id-dn’t me-ean to, I-”

“Shh,” Alcor was saying. “It’s okay, it’s okay-”

“It’s not okay! I-I don-n’t know why I-I do this, I-I…” She squeezed him tighter. “I-I lost it, I l-lost it Alc-cor, I-I-”

“Lost what?”

“M-my ske-etchbook!” She shook her head. “I-I lef-ft it in h-her bedroom, stupid, st-stupid…”

Alcor was silent for a moment, and then he pulled back a bit.

“This sketchbook?” He said, and when he drew her sketchbook out of his suitjacket he flinched from how loud Martha screamed. She snatched it up and flipped through the pages - it was all there, all hers!

“You-!” Martha looked up at his smiling face. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you so much, Alcor, you’re the best!”

“I’m happy to help,” Alcor said, and there was a strange shine in his eyes as he reached into his jacket again. “But, uh, you said you lost it in a bedroom? I actually found it on a bench in the park, and it had this note on it. I think you should read it.”

Martha frowned at him, and hesitated before taking the note. It was written in neat, loopy handwriting, and it read:

To Martha,

I’m so sorry, I don’t know where you live so this seemed like the best place to put this! And sorry about my dad, he does that to everyone I’m friends with but he’s not actually angry at you! I hope he didn’t scare you away haha. I hope you get this and I hope you like the book! Let me know what you think (especially chapter 13 oms)

See you soon!

Cjacy

Martha’s eyes were welling up again. She looked up at Alcor, at the gentle disappointment in his face, and she gritted her teeth.

“You gotta h-help me.” She gripped the note. “Her book, y-you gotta fix it now! Please, she’s gonna hate me forever!”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “I can do that,” he said, slowly. “But can you tell me what happened?”

“I don’t know! I d-don’t know what happened, I was…” She looked away, wiped her eyes, and shrugged. “I dunno, mad?” She clutched her sketchbook to her chest. “I thought… I dunno what I thought. I just do things sometimes, okay? And you say one day I won’t be a kid anymore and I’ll get arrested and you won’t help me and I don’t know what I’m gonna do about it!”

“Martha,” Alcor put a hand on her shoulder. “I didn’t mean I wouldn’t help you. I’ll always be here for you, okay?”

“You mean you’ll always be cleaning up my messes?” She wiped her eyes again. “I’m n-not trying to be difficult, I-I’m trying to be good, I-I’m really trying, I-”

“Hey. Hey.” Alcor put something in her lap; Cjacy’s book, worn but undamaged. He kissed her on the head. “You’re a wonderful kid, Martha. I know you’re trying, and you’ll get there, okay? I’ve seen how much progress you’ve made already, you’re doing so well.”

Martha looked over at him, and saw a strange shine in his eyes. He rose slowly from the bed.

“By the time you’re all grown up, I’m sure you won’t need me at all.”

Martha didn’t know what to say to that. He made his way towards the door.

“Goodnight, Martha. I love you.”

“I love you too,” she said, softly, and watched as he closed the door. When it shut with a click, she looked down at the book she was holding so carefully in her hands.

She sniffed, wiped her eyes again, and hesitated for a moment. Then, she opened it, and began to read.

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[edelwoodsouls]

i still pick up at the sound of your call [fic]

"Is that a dalek on tv?" [or: Martha has some choice questions for the Doctor regarding the new Prime Minister's addess]

Inspired by this post

Word Count: 1,799 | Also on Ao3

"Oi, what the fuck is going on?"

The Doctor blinks. Pulls the phone away from her ear, to check the number again, check she isn't hallucinating. She'd hardly believed it when she saw it, hasn't seen those numbers strung together in years, though they're still burned into her mind.

Another life, another time.

Another friend burned to ashes.

She hesitates, for just a moment. Takes a deep breath. "Hey, Martha," she cringes instantly at the hollow lightness of her tone, only drawing attention to the lifetimes between their last words. "What's up?"

A heavy pause on the other end. The Doctor tries to imagine her old companion, for just a moment. She'd promised herself she would check up on her friends from time to time, make sure they were okay, if she could help them from the shadows in any way - but that promise has fallen between the cracks, lost along the way with everything she ever thought was true.

The last time she saw Martha, she saved her life. Moments before her own - his own, back then - had slipped between her fingers.

She'd looked happy. The Doctor could never have predicted Martha and Mickey of all people, but she was glad for them. She had ruined their lives in so many ways by crashing through them, by falling in love with Rose - this was the least they deserved.

So she imagines Martha like that. Curled up on the sofa, cornrowed hair and sparkling eyes. Legs tangled up with Mickey as they watch tv in the burnt orange glow of a dying London afternoon.

Oh, fuck. The tv.

"Uh, hi," Martha answers finally, wrong-footed and uncertain. "I wanted to speak to the Doctor, could you put him on, please? Sorry, I- uh, I'm Martha. Jones. I used to travel with him. I'm guessing you're the new companion? What happened to Donna?"

An unexpected lump rises in the Doctor's throat. Thousands of years - thousands - have passed since she last bothered to check in on Martha Jones. How many companions have been and gone in that time? How many have crumbled to ash beneath her fingers?

She swallows it down, files it under Compartmentalise, and Never Think of Again.

Sunshine. Enthusiasm. Energy. The tenets she's founded herself on this go around. She plasters a bright smile on her face, as if contorting her muscles will trick her tone into believing she means it.

"Just me, I'm afraid," she grins, skipping around the TARDIS to fiddle with the controls to keep her hands busy. "Had a bit of a change of face since you last saw me."

Furious whispers on the other side of the phone, far enough away from the receiver that even she can't hear them. She imagines Martha and Mickey, confusion and surprise warring with each other.

This reveal never gets old.

"Sooo, how've you been? How's Mickey? It's been, what, nearly ten years since you last saw me?"

"Uh, yeah," Martha returns to the phone, hesitant. She's never had to deal with regeneration, really. "I didn't know you could- I mean, when you said you change, I didn't realise that-"

"I can be anything I like! It's great, innit? I could have two heads or green skin if I felt like it. First time I've been a woman, though. Well, first time I remember, I guess. Still haven't been ginger, though. Maybe one day."

"Different face, same amount of energy," Martha laughs, and the sound lifts a weight from the Doctor's chest she didn't even know was there. "Mickey says hi."

"Yeah- hi!" A more distant voice echoes through the phone, startled at being addressed.

"Hi! It's great to hear from you!" She twirls the phone cord around a finger. If there's one thing she always regrets in her lives, it's the way her previous selves treated their companions. Each one with a different idea of relationships, of how things should be done.

This version of her thinks Mickey would be a great companion, if not for her Rose-tinted blinders.

"So, to what do I owe this call? Hope you kids have been keeping out of trouble, though somehow, I doubt it."

"Right!" Martha yelps. The whole regeneration thing definitely threw her for a loop. "Yeah, Doctor, what the fuck is going on? Is that a dalek we just saw on tv?"

"Ah, yeah... it is, yeah."

"And?"

"And I'm sorting it out?" The Doctor glances over her shoulder, towards the corridor the fam disappeared down a few minutes ago to get ready. They'll be back any second.

It's not that the Doctor doesn't want the fam to know about her old companions. They've met Jack, know she hasn't been on her own all this time, but- still.

Her companions don't have the best survival rate. It's selfish, probably, to keep having them, and yet she somehow never goes without them for long.

(She's lonely, she knows it. She's not a good person on her own. She clings to these fragments of knowledge and calls it reason.)

"But why is there a dalek on tv, Doctor? New security drones, that's what they're saying. Do they not remember the whole Earth-moving, twenty-seven planets, dalek invasion thing?"

"Or the Battle of Canary Wharf?" Mickey adds, words heavy with an underlying anger. Rose was lost to save the world from daleks, after all.

The least she deserves is to have her sacrifice remembered.

"I'm not sure, to be honest," the Doctor admits, flinging herself onto one of the crystalline seats near the console. "It's incredibly weird, actually. As far as I can tell, the entire human race has forgotten that aliens exist at all. No stolen Earth, no Titanic flying over London or Racnoss star at Christmas. No Battle of Canary Wharf."

"That's- I mean, how does that even happen?"

"I have no idea. Something to do with collective consciousness, I'd guess. Some manipulation from another race wanting to remove Earth's knowledge and wariness of aliens. The Arkangel network is still flying strong in your orbit, after all. It wouldn't be so hard to harness the technology. Maybe even your own governments, or some rogue branch of Torchwood. I never did find Torchwood 2 or 4."

"Then how the hell do we still remember?"

"Probably my fault. You're still keyed into the TARDIS's neural network, so she's protecting you from the effects. Sorry about that."

"No, it's- it's good," Martha splutters. "Are you going to try and fix it?"

"Maybe," the Doctor leans back in her chair, pulling the phone cord as far as it will go. "Once all of this is over, I might look into it. Just to check if it's malevolent or not. It's not a bad thing, necessarily. To forget. Some of things they must have seen..."

She shakes her head to clear it. Can't let herself stop and think for too long, or she might never escape the whirlpool's tide.

"Anyway," Martha says - she always was good at noticing her spirals, circumventing them. "How's Donna?"

Nevermind. She speaks the words lightly, but in a tone that says she noticed the Doctor's avoidance earlier and is bracing for bad news.

"She's great!" the Doctor manages a smile, glad to have something, anything to latch onto that isn't her own thoughts. "Happily married, actually. Won the lottery a few years ago, doing very well for herself."

"That's- that's really good to hear."

"She doesn't remember me." She lets the words fall, as much as she wishes she could hold them close and buried and gone. But Donna needs to be kept safe, and Martha reaching out to her would be- not good. "She doesn't remember anything that happened. I- I had to wipe her memory, after the daleks. It was killing her."

The silence stretches longer this time, and for a moment the Doctor is sure she's broken everything.

"Well, I'm glad she's happy," Martha says eventually. "There are worse fates, right?"

So many of your companions have had worse fates, she doesn't say, but the Doctor reads between the lines anyway.

"Yeah," she breathes.

"And how are you doing, Doctor? You're not alone, are you?"

"No! I'm great, actually. Got my fam. Yaz is really cool, you'd love her. Ryan and Graham are great. Jack's back in town right now, helped me out of prison-"

"Helped you out of where?"

"-and we're just sorting out this whole dalek thing! Should be all over pretty soon. Just, stay where you are."

"You know we can't do that, Doctor." If anything, Martha sounds amused. Determined. Ready to pick up her sword once again, defend the Earth from whatever might be coming.

In this second, everything is right with the world, and she misses Martha Jones in a way that hurts both her hearts at once.

"Well, stay safe at least. I'll call you back when this is done, to let you know."

"Thank you, Doctor. Maybe we could, I don't know- grab a drink, or something. Catch up."

"I'd like that," she replies, and they both know she has very little intent on following through.

Yaz appears at the end of the corridor, eyes bright, smile warm. She's chattering to someone, probably Ryan, completely oblivious, no weight on her shoulders.

The Doctor wishes she could keep Yaz like that, happy, delighted, laughing. Wishes that smile was just for her.

But she might have ruined it forever.

She's learnt to trust the TARDIS over the years, learnt that the TARDIS arrives when she thinks the Doctor should be rather than where the Doctor wants to be. She wants to trust that this, too, was for a good reason. The TARDIS has never led her wrong, in the end.

She has to believe.

"Well, I'll let you crazy kids go be heroes. Beat up some daleks for me, will you?"

"Of course, Doctor," Martha says. The Doctor imagines her smiling, linking fingers with Mickey. "Stay safe out there."

"Always," the Doctor grins. As Yaz and Ryan approach, she jumps up, throws the phone back on its hook and grabs hold of the TARDIS's controls.

"Who was that?" Yaz asks, wary, unsure of how to act around her. They need to sit down and talk, hash out the last ten months - and nineteen years - but now isn't the time.

Unfortunately, the time rarely seems to appear.

"Just an old friend checking in," the Doctor shrugs, avoiding her new companions' eyes. "There's daleks on the tv, haven't you heard? Let's fix that."

She throws the TARDIS into flight with a delighted whoop - after all these years, the thrill of flight never quite fades.

She's lost companions before, but as Martha’s call has reminded her, not all of them have met bad ends.

She refuses to let the fam down on that one, too.

[maribabyart]

Do you have any Demon Martha headcanons? How do you think her reunion with Mrs. Mayberry (The teacher who paid for her assassination) in hell would go?

 OK YES I HAVE HEADCANONS FOR THIS HERE WE GO --

MARTHA HEADCANONS <3

So, I’m gonna start with her before she died so I can fully get into why every part of her is the way she is as a demon.

Martha is light skinned Latina woman with family coming from Venezuela. Her mother has a much darker skin tone than her, but her father is far more light-skinned, where she gets her complexion from. While she was raised in America, her parents were immigrants. She was born at home, and she didn’t get a birth certificate until she was four, the year before she started schooling.

She has three older brothers. They were very rambunctious with Martha as a child, pulling pranks on her/with her, taking her hunting, etc.

She was raised out on a farm in the middle of a forested area in Kentucky. They raised cattle, sheep, chickens, and horses. Martha’s main job on the farm was to groom/ride horses and feed chickens.

She learned her sharp-shooter skills in a more intense version of something like 4H unique to her area. She was fantastic with a bow and arrow, and even better with her firearms.

Cannibalism was normalized in Martha’s life from a young age. She knew that it must be kept secret from the outside world, and that it wasn’t accepted. However, it wasn’t something she found to be horrid.

Her family -- and their close friends -- came from a long lineage of Satanic cultists that practiced cannibalism to purge any bit of, “soul” remaining in the corpses of their sacrifices. Due to this, Martha had evolved to be able to be immune to the ill side effects of cannibalism, along with the ability to not feel repulsed by the idea of eating human meat.

Her favorite part of the body growing up was the brain, and it still is to this day. She loves the frontal lobe slathered in spices and hot sauce.

She began her cultish killings at age fourteen, when she officially joined the cult of her family’s descent -- Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida (Fellowship of the Forbidden Fruit, a refrence to their following of Lucifer)

Martha didn’t love Raphael Peterson, or, “Ralphie��. She was married of to him at age sixteen, when she became a, “Woman” in the cult’s eyes. They were both meant to appear as an ideal couple so that people wouldn’t suspect them, as their parents before them have.

Ralph and Martha always saw each other as friends with benefits.

They moved to Dayton, Tennessee to start their family when they turned eighteen.

In Nashville, Martha started singing to music her husband played in Taverns. Think Dolly Parton style music. She sounded a lot like that.

Their first child was born when Martha was eighteen: Their daughter, Jolene Peterson. Two years later, they had their son, Beau Peterson.

Martha was always really involved with her kids’ school activities, and she was always volunteering to work events, and her kids were in every activity they could be.

She used her physical attractiveness to seduce and kill men.

While sex favorable, Martha is on the aspec -- greysexual (sexual pleasure is irrelevant to her, and she only engages in it to appease her partner generally. She only finds sexual attraction in people while in the act.) Because of this fact, Martha only has affairs for the sake of gaining trust to bring the men home so they can be killed and eaten.

When Martha was shot, the community villainized Mrs. Mayberry because the town darling, Martha Jane Nunez Robles-Peterson, would NEVER cheat, right? The situation was misread: Martha was just talking to Jarold Mayberry that night about t-ball-related things, right? He WAS the the little league captain for her 6-year-old-son’s league, wasn’t he?

Martha was gifted millions by the community, and people were insanely supportive of her. They wanted the sweet Martha they, “knew” to get better soon. They loved her so -- such a darling woman!

Her music became more well known, and soon, Martha was all over TV. Her big musical break came from when she auditioned for American Idol and made it. Her sob-story propelled her, and she eventually won.

Martha was a hero to everyone around her -- surviving a traumatic event that was uncalled for, while also being so damn chipper and kind.

Hell, did you guys see the background in one of those scenes?! Martha was canonly proclaimed a SAINT! People loved her that much.

She used the public trust to lure in more victims and never be suspected.

Martha was 28 when she died. Ralphie was 28 as well. Jolene was 10, and Beau was 8.

Ralphie managed to survive the explosion, albeit he was completely paralyzed, and the two children went to heaven. Ralphie repented during his last month alive, and confessed to his crimes. He was sent to heaven as well.

Martha and the children were declared to have died in a bear attack, as Compañerismo de la Fruta Prohibida covered up their true demise with ease.

People were heart broken -- Martha’s music was used in sad collages on Youtube, Tik Toks had Martha’s face in them for memorials.

No one ever realized her crimes.

Now! As a demon....

In hell, Martha picked up the alias Hero -- it’s what she was in life, right? I’ll be calling her Hero from now on.

Hero is both different and similar to how she was when she was alive. She’s still the got her kind-hearted, southern mama vibe going for her: She tends to be able to fit into any demonic crowd well, either by attractiveness or by sheer, overwhelming allure -- she’s a very magnetic personality.

As far as powers go, Hero’s are mostly related to firearms. She’s acquired these powers through deal making and soul dealing, as most demons do. Her charming aura very quickly lure people into thinking she’s naive or really just being honest with them.

Her nails can peel back to allow her to shoot from, “finger guns”. Each finger is a different gun, besides her middle and index fingers. They are both shotguns. Together, they make a double barrel shotgun.

When in full demonic form, Hero’s bandages become sentient. They peel away from her wound, revealing a minigun like weapon in the hole in her head. This can rapid fire while the bandages can grab onto things or hoist Hero up. She can make this last for five minutes -- ten at the longest -- before she gives out to sheer exhaustion and needs to eat demon meat to replenish herself.

Within her first week in hell, she was known to be powerful. Not quite an overlord, but powerful enough to hang around overlords. 

She hit overlord status three months later, during the terf war seen in Hazbin Hotel’s pilot: She took several areas of land, and was seen to have several lesser demons flocking to be on her good side.

Hero used her land to build up a bar and grill that serves strictly demon meat and blood, where demons can play music and dance. It’s like a fucked up country dinner. It’s an insanely popular addition to Cannibal Colony, where she lives.

The place is called La Cocina de la Calle Kuru (The Kuru Street Kitchen)

Hero REALLY wants to get her hands on exterminator tools, but she’s not really a fan of black market deals -- it’s too “trashy” for her.

Hero knows Alastor pretty well, as he’s came in for meat and to watch the music. They’ve had pretty decent conversations while she was on break, seeing as they were both influential  southern, cannibalistic serial killers. It’s a running gag between them where they jokingly talk about who was more iconic -- “I bet I took out more belles in a lifetime than you could in your entire afterlife!” “Well hon, at least I could eat the brains without gettin’ Kuru!”

She talks to Rosie a lot about business, and has met Niffty and Mimzy before. (Al hooked a bitch up with some friends lmao)

She REALLY likes Mimzy. She reminds her of Ralphie, and they became super fast friends. 

Vox and Hero have a confusing sort of friendship, as neither really wants to be seen with the other -- In his case, because she’s much lower on the overlord spectrum than him, and in her case, because she’s no stranger to Alastor and Vox’s hatred for one another. However, she often finds herself consoling Vox on sleepless nights after closing up the bar, trying to convince him that Valentino is NOT worth his time. Beyond that and him occasionally paying her back in tech at random hours of the morning, they don’t talk often.

Hero LOVES dancing! Like, a lot.

She’s seen Charlie’s ad for the Happy Hotel. Her and Mimzy watched it, and they both thought it was the stupidest damn thing they’d ever seen. However, Hero said she was happy Charlie got up there, because she was just, “Cute as a button, that lil’ sweatpea was!”

Hero’s best friends are Mimzy and an unnamed demon who specializes in black market, extermination tool selling (the one seen in in Addict -- Cherri Bomb’s former lover).

These two people, and these two people alone, can call her “Martha”

Hero cooks whenever she’s stressed. She also adores sewing and binging soap operas and reality shows on Voxflix.

Hero’s Instagram would be, “HeroicMelodies” in reference to her music career and name.

Hero gets hit on A LOT, and she despises it. She doesn’t need to seduce people anymore to get away with murder, and she doesn’t want to. She dresses the way she does because she LIKES that clothing. People can fuck off.

The reason Hero is white and pink is to show how innocent she looks. Her pitch-black eyes show her dark soul.

Hero sings in Spanish to herself when cleaning up.

Sometimes, Hero and Rosie spend holidays going around with ground demon meat to throw to the hell crows and other critters. They find it peaceful.

Hero, shockingly, holds no hatred for I.M.P., and commonly jokes about how the I.M.P.’s, “Did her a favor” by sending her somewhere she can actually be her. She has no idea who called for the hit, though. 

Hero finds Blitzo’s Instagram posts being poorly spelled to be, “Damn near precious”.

She thinks he’s a teenager, and probably would think it less adorable if she knew he was a grown man with a grown kid.

Hero doesn’t care about Mrs. Mayberry at all. Like, at all. She honestly assumes the woman is in heaven. She knew Mayberry wasn’t bad -- she probably wouldn’t care if she was in hell, though. Oh well. Sucks to suck, bitch.

Husk frequents La Cocina de la Calle Kuru to drink and engage in the gambling scene. Hero finds him trashy, but can’t say she hates him. She finds him funny as hell, and enjoys the business. Just not someone she’d personally hang out with.

[iant0jones]

That Greek gods post was interesting, but I would enjoy hearing ypur thoughts on it.

Ahh thank you so much for asking! 💖

This post had a lot of good takes, and doctor who characters obviously have many-faceted personalities so more than one god or goddess could suit them. I’m by no means saying that post was wrong.

Also, disclaimer: I have been dabbling in and out of Hellenistic polytheism for the past year and don’t intend for any of this to sound remotely like hubris, pls don’t smite me @ the gods

Rose - Aphrodite

I agree with that post, not only because Rose is the love interest of the Doctor, but because I think her character exemplifies love in so many forms throughout the series--self love, familial love, platonic love, romantic love, and the love of strangers and the world at large. Also I think she completely captures Aphrodite’s dynamic of being soft and adoring yet viciously ferocious

Jack - in doctor who? Ares. in torchwood? Zeus

Jack as represented in doctor who can be extremely brash and gung-ho. The Doctor and the audience in general are supposed to have a somewhat tense relationship with Jack due to the fact that he’s very willing to bring violence to the table when he feels like it’s needed (which is more often than the show is used to). But in some ways, it’s still kinda comical. That’s absolutely how the Greeks viewed Ares. Also, Ares has a strong association with Aphrodite. This level of passion could only be found in our boy Jack

That being said, I think if we take his characterization in torchwood into the equation, he’s absolutely Zeus. When the Doctor takes on power, it’s often seen as out of step, out of line, and a little insane, but Jack? Jack in torchwood commands respect. He’s the father figure that has been around for a long, long time, and is often right in his decisions, even if we don’t want to admit it. Also, horny as hell

Martha - Athena

Although I think a lot of goddesses could suit Martha and, vice versa, Athena could suit a lot of doctor who characters, Athena perfectly captures the grace and strength of Martha. Her intelligence and her dignity shown throughout the series (and torchwood) are absolutely honorific and suited for this amazing goddess. This is especially true when she really comes into her own as a member of UNIT and is able to combine her skills as a doctor with her skills as a strategist. And I can totally see Athena watching that scene of Martha reciting the bones in the hand and cheering her on

Donna - Nike

As the goddess of victory, strength, and speed, Nike reminds me of Donna due to her absolute devotion to justice, whether it be towards the people of Pompeii, the Ood, or how she herself is treated by others. That woman has held so much weight on her shoulders, but she’s more than capable of pushing through all the hard times to make sure everyone comes out okay. Also, "Did I ever tell ya? Best temp in Chiswick. Hundreds words per minute.”

Amy - Hera

Oooh, my god. The level of Queen in this lady. Amy completely gives off Queen of the Gods vibes. She’s strong as hell, stubborn, and quick to temper, but she’s also incredibly sweet, devoted, giving, and motherly. The scene where she attacks the Silence after reminding them that River became who she is because she’s Amy’s daughter? BIG HERA ENERGY

Rory - Hades

Now I’m by no means suggesting that Asclepius was a bad choice for Rory, but truth be told I don’t know much about that god and so I can’t really judge how well that choice sits with me. However, I do think Hades would be an excellent choice for Rory. He’s sensitive, reserved, and often gets left with the worst lot in life. He’s also highly intelligent, shrewd, and incredibly devoted to his wife, who he puts on a pedestal and treats her like the queen she is

River - Hekate

I’m a little on the fence about this one, especially considering that the post used Hekate’s traits as the goddess of crossroads and magic to highlight for River. I think Hekate’s more accurate for River if we consider that she’s essentially the female version of Zeus, due to her insane amount of power. Despite her level of power, however, she remains humble and is willing to service Persephone and Hades by helping them in the Underworld, which is similar to how River helps her parents and the Doctor. Also, I often associate a level of controlled chaos with Hekate that River would thrive in

Clara - Dionysus

Okay, hear me the fuck out. I think Athena suits Clara best, but because I already used Athena for Martha, I’m going to use Dionysus here, and this is why: Dionysus is the god of chaos, but he’s not really ever depicted as being chaotic himself. Instead, he surrounds himself in chaos. I think this speaks to the duality of Clara needing absolute control in her life, but also being an extreme thrill-seeker who could go over the edge at any moment. Also, the level of drama that she cultivates is absolutely suited for the stage of Dionysus

Bill - Artemis

To me, every aspect of Artemis suits Bill perfectly. Bill is fiercely sharp-witted and I could easily see her taking up a bow and arrow with ease. She’s both incredibly serene and intellectual (which reminds me of Artemis’s association with the moon), yet she’s not unwilling to jump to the offense if she feels like she or a loved-one is being threatened. Incredibly just and hates unnecessary violence.

Also, LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!! Bill and Artemis drink loving-women juice for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert!!!

The Doctor - Apollo

Going back to what I said when discussing Jack, there’s always something disturbing about the Doctor when they’re given too much power. Zeus is simply too godly, and as Nine put it, “I’d make a very bad god.” I think that’s why someone like Apollo is more suitable. He’s the god of light, music, and medicine, which speaks to the healing nature of the Doctor, their creativity, and the profound influence they have on people’s lives. But at the same time Apollo can also be vicious with a bow and arrow, and is considered to be the bringer of plagues. This is reflected in the destruction that follows the Doctor wherever they go. To me, this dual nature is the most important thing there is about the Doctor

[celebritytgcaptions]

I Need To Talk About These Requests (11/3/21)

Just a reminder, if I DON’T respond to your request that means I have written it or plan to write it. If I DO respond it means I need to communicate something to the person who requested it.

Anonymous said:

Thank you for your work ! I was thinking about a request about James Bond. In this caption, the famous British agent is turned into a complete woman through surgeries for a mission. Kate Winslet could be the new James Bond since she is a British actress. Thank you in advance for your response.

Usually I don’t respond to caps I’m going to do these days but since you said, “Thank you in advance for your response,” I felt weird NOT responding. So yep, I’ll do this! :) It’s not going to be directly James Bond though, I think it’ll be like 006 or something. I don’t love writing caps with pre-existing characters most of the time. Hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hiiiii

Can I ask for some more Olivia Rodrigo or Chloe Bennet captions please? You're literally the best caption writer I've ever seen (and I've seen a lot). Love your work!

Awww, you’re so sweet! I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated what you said. I will write a cap for both of these lovely ladies! :D

Anonymous said:

I would actually love if you could do a christmas caption where Santa claus is the one being feminized please (celebrity doesn't really matter)

I’m a little uncomfortable with this BUT I did write a caption with a character called Sissy Claus. It’s a GIF that’ll be posted ON Christmas Eve so I think it’s really fun! Hopefully you’ll like that. But I won’t tell you who the celeb is so it can be a surprise. ;)

Anonymous said:

Regarding the holidays, I would love it if you could center a caption around two boys. One of them is tall and thick and when changed into girl form becomes Elizabeth gillies and the other one is short and petite and when changed into the girl becomes Ariana grande. I was hoping you could center the caption around the booty shake and twerking from the thank u next video. Much appreciated

So I already did one that focuses on the booty shake & twerking (it’s a GIF set called Winter & Tinsel) BUT I can still do a holiday themed caption about two feminized bois starring these gals! :)

Anonymous said:

caption where a city boy is forced to become a rural sissy waitress

What about it? This is what I mean when I say I want folks to ASK me their requests instead of TELL me them. Like are you saying you WANT this caption? Are you saying you like when I did a version of this caption in Cum & Go with Daniella Monet? I’m not trying to be a dick & I understand not everyone on Tumblr speaks English that well but I do need folks to ask me if I can do their requests instead of just say, “do this,” or, “caption with.” You don’t have to say please & thank you but it does need to be in the form of some ask. It needs to be a literal request.

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption of martha may whovier from the live action grinch ?

Honestly this is going to be a no. Those noses they put on all the people in the live action Grinch actually gross me out. I have no idea why but I have a very strong, visceral aversion to them. The only reason I wrote that Meghan Trainor xmas cap from last year where she’s dressed like a Who is because she doesn’t have the nose. Sorry anon. :(

[moviewarfare]

A Review of “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - Ultimate Edition (2016)″

In anticipation of Zack Snyder's Justice League, I decided to rewatch Zack's previous two DCEU entries. I watched BvS in theatres in 2016 and remember feeling immeasurable disappointment. Now that 5 years have passed and I have watched many movies, I was wondering if my opinions on this movie would change. Additionally, I would be would watching the Ultimate edition which contains 31 minutes of additional footage. This is my first time watching the Ultimate edition so it was also a sort of new experience in a way. "It's been nearly two years since Superman's (Henry Cavill) colossal battle with Zod (Michael Shannon) devastated the city of Metropolis. The loss of life and collateral damage left many feeling angry and helpless, including crime-fighting billionaire Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck). Convinced that Superman is now a threat to humanity, Batman embarks on a personal vendetta to end his reign on Earth, while the conniving Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) launches his crusade against the Man of Steel". So is this a misunderstood gem or still a massive disappointment?

Firstly, Ben Affleck is still an excellent Batman. I find him incredibly charming as Bruce Wayne while also portraying the jaded and the rage-filled Batman perfectly. Gal Gadot is introduced as Wonder Woman in this movie and is honestly still one of the best parts. She is very elegant and mysterious as Diana but then an absolute badass as Wonder Woman. Jeremy Irons is snarky and wise as the beloved Alfred as well. Henry Cavill returns as Superman and Amy Adams returns as Lois Lane with both still doing a great job in their respective roles. There are some other supporting actors new and returning who all do fine jobs as well.

The cinematography by Larry Fong is really good and visually there are still some great shots. Hans Zimmer returns to score but is now collaborating with Junkie XL and it is an absolute phenomenal score. The Batman theme is amazing, the Wonder Woman theme is exciting and the Lex Luthor theme is unsettling. There is more oomph in the score thanks to Junkie XL which makes the action scene feel more thrilling.

On that note, the action scenes concerning Batman are exceptional. The Metropolis destruction but from Bruce Wayne perspective is one of the most exciting intros in a superhero movie ever. It also perfectly captures the destruction from a bystander view and also illustrates exactly why Batman hates Superman. The Batmobile chase sequence is also quite a stand-out with how awesome it is. Just seeing the Batmobile destroy everything in its path is fun to watch. The Batman warehouse fight scene is the best to have ever graced the screen. It is choreographed amazingly and shot in such a way that it is easy to see what is going on while still feeling every punch.

However, the same can't be said with the Batman vs Superman fight. Rewatching it again makes me see how underwhelming this fight is. The first thing to note that is only one fight between these two characters in a 3-hour movie which already sucks but the fight itself is visually boring. It's choreographed in a way that feels like it is from a slapstick comedy. Superman launches him through some walls, Batman gases him and then punches him in the face for a bit, repeat and that's the fight. Superman acts dumb in the fight and Batman just moves slowly due to the armour which leads to a really silly fight to watch. I think people tear into it a lot but the fight resolution of Martha is still quite silly. I think the idea behind it is fine with Batman realizing Superman's humanity. It's just that the scene doesn't convey this very well and put too much emphasis on the "Martha" name instead of the human aspect. It's also executed very clunkily which leads to an ironically hilarious scene when it shouldn't be. The fight against Doomsday at the end is just a big CGI-fest against some dark grey looking thing at night. It's hideous to look at with its abundant of grey and black colours with overly flashy lights that just makes it seem dull.

The story has 4 perspectives with the Batman one being the best. His hatred for Superman is understandable and trying to get the Kryptonite to fight him is the most easily enjoyable parts. On the other hand, Superman's perspective is so boring and forgettable. The people treating him like a hero or a god while some detesting him is fine. It's just he is so mopey in every scene which makes every scene involving him just not fun to watch. There is also a weird part in his arc where he goes into a snow mountain and hallucinates his dad which was just so dumb. I do find Superman dislike for Batman a mixed bag as he is criticizing him for his vigilantism and being above the law but that is exactly what Superman does too. The Ultimate edition adds more Clark Kent investigation which adds more to it and shows that he dislikes the brutality of his method and the fear he causes which is more understandable. Lois Lane is also another perspective with her trying to figure out who is producing this mysterious bullet. It's a very pointless perspective and quite a waste of time considering it amounts to something that the audience already knows, Lex Luthor was the one who did it! Lex is also the last perspective with him dealing with senators who obstruct him and him building a monster just because I guess? His perspective is fine for the plot but it's not enjoyable to watch because of the actor.

Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is one of the worst casting choices I have ever seen. While every other actor feels grounded and serious, Jesse Eisenburg feels very cartoony and over the top. It's made worst as a majority of his lines are dumb. There are some great lines from Lex but they are poorly executed because of Jesse's terrible performance. His character's motivation is understandable but his whole plan is borderline ridiculous and convoluted. It makes genuinely no sense apart from the fact that the movie just needed a mastermind. The Granny's peach tea thing is oddly hilarious but a dumb moment too. There are also some random dream sequences in this movie that adds nothing to the main narrative. The noted Knightmare sequence just happens midway through the movie without any setup or any reference later. Likewise for the future flash sequence which you think Batman would make a note of later but doesn't. There is also the famous Wonder Woman checks her email sequence that is just so unnecessary. It baffles me that Zack didn't just have it at the end of the movie as these scenes are so distracting and unconnected to the main story.

Overall, the Ultimate edition makes the plot feel more coherent but BvS is still a massive disappointment. There are some great moments but the writing is just so atrociously bad that it is very difficult for these moments to shine through. However, it is a unique vision and doesn't completely feel like most Superhero movies. I can see why people kept campaigning for Zack's version of Justice League because even if it is bad, it's going to be unique. In the end, it's not the worst Superhero movie as some, including me originally, would make it out to be but it's not a hidden masterpiece as some others would too.

[classic-laugjhing-hollywood]

Margaret Dumont (October 20, 1882 – March 6, 1965) was an American stage and film actress. She is best remembered as the comic foil to the Marx Brothers in seven of their films. Groucho Marx called her "practically the fifth Marx brother".

Dumont was born Daisy Juliette Baker in Brooklyn, New York, the daughter of William and Harriet Anna (née Harvey) Baker. She spent many years of her childhood being raised by her godfather, Joel Chandler Harris at his home, Wren's Nest in Atlanta before returning to New York as a teenager.

Dumont trained as an operatic singer and actress in her teens, and began performing on stage in the U.S. and in Europe, at first under the name Daisy Dumont and later as Margaret (or Marguerite) Dumont. Her theatrical debut was in Sleeping Beauty and the Beast at the Chestnut Theater in Philadelphia, and in August 1902, two months before her 20th birthday, she appeared as a singer/comedian in a vaudeville act in Atlantic City. The dark-haired soubrette, described by a theater reviewer as a "statuesque beauty", attracted notice later that decade for her vocal and comedic talents in The Girl Behind the Counter (1908), The Belle of Brittany (1909) and The Summer Widower (1910).

In 1910, she married millionaire sugar heir and industrialist John Moller Jr. and retired from stage work, although she had a small uncredited role as an aristocrat in a 1917 film adaptation of A Tale of Two Cities. The marriage was childless.

After her husband's sudden death during the 1918 influenza pandemic, Dumont reluctantly returned to the Broadway stage, and soon gained a strong reputation in musical comedies. She never remarried. Her Broadway career included roles in the musical comedies and plays The Fan (1921), Go Easy, Mabel (1922), The Rise of Rosie O'Reilly (1923/24) and The Fourflusher (1925), and she had an uncredited role in the 1923 film Enemies of Women.

In 1925, Dumont came to the attention of theatrical producer Sam H. Harris who recommended her to the Marx Brothers and writer George S. Kaufman for the role of the wealthy dowager Mrs. Potter alongside the Marxes in their Broadway production of The Cocoanuts. In the Marxes' next Broadway show Animal Crackers, which opened in October 1928, Dumont again was cast as foil and straight woman Mrs. Rittenhouse, another rich, society dowager. She appeared with the Marxes in the screen versions of both The Cocoanuts (1929) and Animal Crackers (1930).

With the Marx Brothers, Dumont played wealthy, high-society widows whom Groucho alternately insulted and romanced for their money:

The Cocoanuts (1929) as Mrs. Potter

Animal Crackers (1930) as Mrs. Rittenhouse

Duck Soup (1933) as Mrs. Gloria Teasdale

A Night at the Opera (1935) as Mrs. Claypool

A Day at the Races (1937) as Mrs. Emily Upjohn

At the Circus (1939) as Mrs. Susanna Dukesbury

The Big Store (1941) as Martha Phelps

Her role as the hypochondriacal Mrs. Upjohn in A Day at the Races brought her a Best Supporting Actress Award from the Screen Actors Guild, and film critic Cecilia Ager suggested that a monument be erected in honor of Dumont's courage and steadfastness in the face of the Marx Brothers' antics. Groucho once said that because of their frequent movie appearances, many people believed he and Dumont were married in real life.

An exchange from Duck Soup:

Groucho: I suppose you'll think me a sentimental old fluff, but would you mind giving me a lock of your hair?

Dumont: A lock of my hair? Why, I had no idea you ...

Groucho: I'm letting you off easy. I was gonna ask for the whole wig.

Dumont also endured dialogue about her characters' (and thus her own) stoutish build, as with these lines, also from Duck Soup:

Dumont: I've sponsored your appointment because I feel you are the most able statesman in all Freedonia.

Groucho: Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say, you cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it; I hear they're going to tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing.

and:

Groucho: Why don't you marry me?

Dumont: Why, marry you?

Groucho: You take me, and I'll take a vacation. I'll need a vacation if we're going to get married. Married! I can see you right now in the kitchen, bending over a hot stove. But I can't see the stove.

Or her age (in their last film pairing, The Big Store):

Dumont: You make me think of my youth.

Groucho: Really? He must be a big boy by now.

Dumont's character would often give a short, startled or confused reaction to these insults, but appeared to forget them quickly.

Decades later, in his one-man show at New York's Carnegie Hall, Groucho mentioned Dumont's name and got a burst of applause. He falsely informed the audience that she rarely understood the humor of their scenes and would ask him, "Why are they laughing, Julie?" ("Julie" being her nickname for Julius, Groucho's birth name). Dumont was so important to the success of the Marx Brothers films, she was one of the few people Groucho mentioned in his short acceptance speech for an honorary Oscar in 1974. (The others were Harpo and Chico, their mother Minnie, and Groucho's companion Erin Fleming. Zeppo and Gummo Marx, who were both alive at the time, were not mentioned, though Jack Lemmon, who introduced Groucho, mentioned all four brothers who appeared with Dumont on film.)

In most of her interviews and press profiles, Dumont preserved the myth of her on-screen character: the wealthy, regal woman who never quite understood the jokes. However, in a 1942 interview with the World Wide Features press syndicate, Dumont said, "Scriptwriters build up to a laugh, but they don't allow any pause for it. That's where I come in. I ad lib—it doesn't matter what I say—just to kill a few seconds so you can enjoy the gag. I have to sense when the big laughs will come and fill in, or the audience will drown out the next gag with its own laughter... I'm not a stooge, I'm a straight lady. There's an art to playing straight. You must build up your man, but never top him, never steal the laughs from him."

For decades, film critics and historians have theorized that because Dumont never broke character or smiled at Groucho's jokes, she did not "get" the Marxes' humor. On the contrary, Dumont, a seasoned stage professional, maintained her "straight" appearance to enhance the Marxes' comedy. In 1965, shortly before Dumont's death, The Hollywood Palace featured a recreation of "Hooray for Captain Spaulding" (from the Marxes' 1930 film Animal Crackers) in which Dumont can be seen laughing at Groucho's ad-libs — proving that she got the jokes.

Writing about Dumont's importance as a comic foil in 1998, film critic Andrew Sarris wrote "Groucho's confrontations with Miss Dumont seem much more the heart of the Marxian matter today than the rather loose rapport among the three brothers themselves."

Dumont's acting style, especially in her early films, reflected the classic theatrical tradition of projecting to the back row (for example, trilling the "r" for emphasis). She had a classical operatic singing voice that screenwriters eagerly used to their advantage.

Dumont appeared in 57 films, including some minor silent work beginning with A Tale of Two Cities (1917). Her first feature was the Marx Brothers' The Cocoanuts (1929), in which she played Mrs. Potter, the role she played in the stage version from which the film was adapted. She also made some television appearances, including a guest-starring role with Estelle Winwood on The Donna Reed Show in the episode "Miss Lovelace Comes to Tea" (1959).

Dumont, usually playing her dignified dowager character, appeared with other film comedians and actors, including Wheeler and Woolsey and George "Spanky" McFarland (Kentucky Kernels, 1934); Joe Penner (Here, Prince 1932, and The Life of the Party 1937); Lupe Vélez (High Flyers, 1937); W.C. Fields (Never Give a Sucker an Even Break, 1941, and Tales of Manhattan 1942); Laurel and Hardy (The Dancing Masters, 1943); Red Skelton (Bathing Beauty, 1944); Danny Kaye (Up in Arms, 1944); Jack Benny (The Horn Blows at Midnight, 1945); George "Gabby" Hayes (Sunset in El Dorado, 1945); Abbott and Costello (Little Giant, 1946); and Tom Poston (Zotz!, 1962).

Turner Classic Movies’ website says of High Flyers: "The surprise... is seeing [Dumont] play a somewhat daffy matron, more Billie Burke than typical Margaret Dumont. As the lady who's into crystal gazing and dotes on her kleptomaniac bull terrier, she brings a discreetly screwball touch to the proceedings."

She also appeared on television with Martin and Lewis in The Colgate Comedy Hour (December 1951).

Dumont played dramatic parts in films including Youth on Parole (1937); Dramatic School (1938); Stop, You're Killing Me (1952); Three for Bedroom C (1952); and Shake, Rattle & Rock! (1956)

Her last film role was that of Shirley MacLaine's mother, Mrs. Foster, in What a Way to Go! (1964).

On February 26, 1965, eight days before her death, Dumont made her final acting appearance on the television program The Hollywood Palace, where she was reunited with Groucho, the week's guest host. They performed material from Captain Spaulding's introductory scene in Animal Crackers, including the song "Hooray for Captain Spaulding". The taped show was broadcast on April 17, 1965.

Dumont married millionaire American Sugar Refining Company heir and industrialist John Moller Jr. in 1910 and retired from stage work. The marriage was childless.

Moeller died during the 1918 influenza pandemic, after which Dumont reluctantly returned to the Broadway stage. She never remarried, and died from a heart attack on March 6, 1965. She was cremated and her ashes were interred in the vault at the Chapel of the Pines Crematory in Los Angeles. She was 82, although many obituaries erroneously gave her age as 75.

[madamhatter]

IN WHICH SOPHIE HATTER REALIZES HER TVTROPES.

RULES:  List five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same. (Tropes Wiki) REPOST! DO NOT REBLOG. *BOOK SPOILER(S) AHEAD.

tagged by: @memorylost​​ / tysm and I’m so sorry with how late this is -- ! tagging: @crystalburdened​​ / @subserviiient​​ / @curiousitykilledthecheshire​​ / @bigcasinc​​ (for Falborg!) / @more-than-a-princess​​ / @adagaium​​ / @anhedonialunatic​​ / @medicus-mortem​​ / @miraruinada​​ (for Tatyana!)  / AND YOU ! 

Honorable mentions, being the tropes already found under her entry on TVTropes: Berserk Button, Beware the Nice Ones, Cool Old Lady, Determinator, Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?, Heroic Self-Deprecation, Oblivious to Love, Never Mess With Granny, Silk Hiding Steel, Team Mom, Took a Level in Badass, The Unfavorite, You Are Better Than You Think You Are. 

i. Stepford Smiler / Stepford Snarker - Relatively speaking, Sophie Hatter in either material is shown to be rather warped by a lie that she tells herself. She consistently states that she is fine with their current circumstances and isn’t bothered by it. To which is a complete farce, so much so, that her sisters, Martha in the book and Lettie in the movie, call her out on her behavior. Her form of expression is layered by how she perceives herself and she does not want to let it out. The movie variant capitalizes on the smiler end, the book variant capitalizes on the snarker end. Sophie creates distance between her true thoughts and feelings in order to fulfill what is expected of her (which is, admittedly, misfortune) and rationalizes how she’s been treated. She is unhappy, but she will up on a front as easily as she can to continue appearances and keep everybody else happy.  ( This could be read as a sugar-and-ice personality. )

ii. Reality Warper / Compelling Voice - Another trope combination by the sheer fact that these two together are essentially Sophie’s magic. The simplest way that it can be described, and directly from the book, is that “everything she says comes true.” 

The movie implies the magic itself in one aspect, by how her emotions have a major role in how she interacts with things (in the movie’s case, it was her curse). The book makes it more prominent by her: “coding” her hats by saying how the future purchaser is going to live their life, turning plant fertilizer to weed killer (without a command), talking out the poison in the air, giving a demon a thousand more years to live, breaking a deadly curse (without any formal study/intense training), saying Howl would be royal sorcerer to the King and he did become one, etc. 

Notice one thing: none of these instances give particular rules and limitations to her magic; it is literally the fact she speaks magic. There are quite literally nothing bounding her magic to reality because it, frankly, affects/alters/bends reality.  Her magic is remarkably reactive and there is no shortage of how much she can use it and if it’ll ever run out. 

Her magic is absolutely rare and was so noticeable that the top sorcerers and sorceresses of her damn nation went after her. It is an omnipotent voice and I can see why people would flock to either A) exploit her or B) stop her before she realizes her potential.

( This reeks of Screw Destiny but it’s just her magic. )

TLDR: Sophie has powers that says ‘fuck you’ to fate and her defiant/spiteful nature is backed up by a magic that will ensure that anything and everything she says happens.

iii. Promotion to Parent  / Parent Substitute - Extended in the book version but not really touched upon in the movie. Sophie Hatter raised her two younger sisters in wake of her stepmother being outright negligent and has been doing it ever since she was young. From mending their clothes, breaking apart fights, disciplining them, and to offering advice, Sophie played her role not only as the eldest daughter, but her sisters’ parent, and is also given credit for this large role by the end of the book by Fanny. 

( This also includes Mama Bear. In this case, Mama Panther since Sophie was cursed to be a cat in the second book while pregnant. After Morgan was born and she was STILL a cat, her form drastically changed into a black panther to attack anyone who endangered her baby :D ).

iv. Trespassing Hero - I wasn’t able to find a particular trope that goes ‘hero frequently breaks laws without care’ without it going into chaotic good. However, once Sophie is cursed and she decides ‘fuck it, I need this fixed,’ she does end up breaking-and-entering into Howl’s castle. There’s no work around that. My girl’s a criminal, I’m so proud! She literally implants herself into Howl’s life and declares herself as his new cleaning maid, to which he actually doesn’t properly react to in both book and movie. Really, who would just let a random old woman drop into your home and hire herself to your service?

v. Defied Trope - Ingary’s customs are quite literally fairy-tale tropes that are socially ingrained and enforced. This mainly is best seen with how Sophie is treated as the eldest daughter and how her life is dictated to be of misfortune and there’s nothing to seek out in her life. However, once cursed, she quite literally defies her trope that is woven into her story and goes out to do her own thing. While this trope usually requires meta knowledge, DWJ made this possible as she provides the subversion context for readers, but makes it a defiance for the character because her character development revolves around defiance as a theme, among many. 

[trulycertain]

Unpopular opinion: god, Batman v Superman had some really good ideas that it chucked down the U-bend, and there are parts of it I really enjoyed. I don’t regret seeing it (and yes, I watched the Extended Cut. All three hours). I was just discussing this with @masutrout​, and here’s a slightly abridged version of my thoughts.

Look, I know no-one sets out to make a bad film, and with so many moving parts, a film getting released at all is a miracle. I know it’s not down to one person and (I’m quite glad) it’s not up to me, because I have no idea how to make films. But if I had, say, a magic lamp and a wish for an ideal BvS and DCEU in general... Here’s what I liked; here’s what I’d magically tweak in a parallel universe; here’s a rant. A 2.2k rant. An Extended Cut rant.

I know it's all desaturated and so on, but I genuinely really love Snyder's style. Dude can set up a shot, and he knows how to use chiaroscuro. In theory, I totally get why they'd look at him and go, "his shit is like comics brought to life, pick him." I wish he'd just... allow a bit more colour into it and let people colour grade properly, because the Metropolis/Gotham Clark/Bruce contrast could've been played up beautifully with visual language and colour too. I mean, I know he can do overwrought iconography and imagery, look at how they went to the trouble of CGI'ing Clark's cape in every scene because it was such a banner, and the pop of red. 

I'll admit, I wasn't always all-in on Affleck's performance, though it was one of his best in his back catalogue (I am one of the few people I know who has zero problems with him as an actor and tends to find it more the material, but I grew up on Kevin Smith films and his shtick works for me, even if he has a manner. I'm not too discerning). But. A Bruce who's tired and broken-down and greying and has lost even more, and still in the aftermath of that, tries to find hope and "I can't let this happen to anyone else" again, in the wake of one more death? God yes give it to me. A Bruce who's taller than Clark and just plain tall in general, because maybe Kryptonian ideals are different and because it'd give Bruce one more thing to desperately play down? God yes. Just... in general, middle-aged Bruce but without a lot of the Batfam stuff (which I like, I have a love for several of the Bats, but my favourite stories are always solo) with a regimen of painkillers and who's turned Wayne from an "I'll just jump into the water feature" jackass to a schmoozer and flirt and maybe a drunk. Take out the branding. I wanted Bruce as a broken idealist, not a fascist. It's actually way more fascistic than the original Dark Knight Returns, even. But goodness, the whole idea of an established, tired Batman is good. There’s a reason the comics and animations keep coming back to it.

"Superman was just a story. Superman was just the dream of some farmer from Kansas." I forget the exact phrasing, but everything about that idea, and this idea that Superman is as much an ideal for Clark to live up to as everyone else, and he’s daunted by it? Yeah. There’s something in there.

I loved everything about Jeremy Irons' Alfred. Seriously, everything. Tech guru, little less RP, little rougher around the edges, clearly has some scars of his own. Absolutely biting, even more than most incarnations, and gets all the best lines. Yes, keep that, it'll do.

I liked the voice changer... halfway. To me it makes way more sense than putting on a voice, which is a bit daft and way more variable. I just wouldn't have gone that heavy on the processing, so that Bruce sounded less like a hacker from 1999. I also thought it was a good way of representing how Bruce desperately tries to emotionally distance himself when he’s the Bat, and how his anger has made him colder.

Batman as just a rumour or an urban legend is great, and a wonderful contrast to Superman, who’s this bright, transparent... common god. Bruce never did it for credit, he did it to get it done. It’s stretching the bounds of credulity, sure, but in this strange, semi-operatic storytelling with heavy myth feel, it makes a bunch of sense thematically.

Bruce meeting Martha Kent, and their first meeting being him saving her life. Even this broken-down Batman who thinks he’s a mess. Actually, just more Martha in the DCEU in general.  I mean, I get why they didn't lean into it so much because they maybe wanted Bruce and Clark to feel more like equal peers, rather than Bruce being too dadly, but... god, again, more Martha. In JL, in something, if nothing else. Martha who's lost a son (Jason); Martha who later has a son in another city trying to do good and is worried as hell about them (Dick's canonically in Bludhaven PD at this point); Martha who is one of about five people in the world who knows who Batman is and hasn't spilt that information; Martha who saw Bruce at the cemetery and might have some really interesting things to say to him, angry or forgiving; Martha who is one of the few people who's seen the good in the Bat (when Bruce himself couldn't)... Man, I was so, so glad that fic leaned into that. I would read a regular comic book of just Martha and Bruce Being Reluctant Friends and Worrying A Little About Their Kids, But Maybe In An Enemies-To-Friends Way Because Holy Shit You Had A Fucking Spear What the Fuck.

No, really, wait, I’m going to go on about Martha again.  The scenes in BvS where she was basically saying, "God, don't kill yourself for them, come home, if they're gonna hate you they don't deserve you..." On the one hand she could've been a contrasting voice to Jon, but this way also makes sense. "I know you want to help but please don't kill yourself..." It was always both parents in the comics who affected him equally, even if the Donner films had his father's death, iirc. It was Martha who pushed to keep him, Jon who taught him not to break people and show off, Martha who taught him how to cook and be gentle with things and in Superman: Birthright, which MoS is heavily, badly based upon (I love that miniseries, time to read it again) she researches alien sightings in the hope he won't be alone. I get why they went for a more "grounded" Kryptonian uniform thing, but Martha made his costume, in the original canon. In all canons, she was a huge help in creating the "Clark Kent" persona (yeah, sure, maybe a woman would have something to say about making yourself quiet and shrinking in a room and having to look helpful and nonthreatening all the time, but Snyder and Goyer were never gonna be the kind of people to explore that and even Waid, whom I love, barely touches on it). Every other film or comic book is crap, dead, or crap and dead dads. Clark's relationship with his mother and father is hugely important.

Getting to see Bruce doing the society beat, and just a little more philanthropy would've been great. You don't have time to build that character? Sure, OK. Take out the Flash dream sequence and the sleeping-with-random-women, maybe don't have a totally unnecessary but kinda hilarious shower scene, and replace it with some identity weirdness where Bruce and Clark are stuck interacting as civilians a little more. Or something about what the hell happened with Jason and the manor, though I don't mind most of it being unexplained. There, still building character, still serving a purpose, you can fit a brief scene into your three hour movie. Civil War had a ton of "Steve Rogers and Tony Stark brood or sit in rooms talking to each other."

If they were going to throw away all the secret-identity potential, they could at least have done it interestingly. That scene at the gala made it clear how hard they both had to act, and Jesus, the idea of Clark eventually, finally finding someone else who has to lie and cut off what they can do, who has to bumble almost the way he does... That could've been interesting and also maybe worried the shit out of him. Or made him want to talk to this crazy billionaire who goes round combat-booting people in the face and try and get what his deal was, which could've led to more interesting misunderstandings. 

And then there's Diana, who's not a bumbler but a "nothing to see here, rich eccentric" type too (no wonder she and Bruce had weird insane chemistry in that "sizing each other up/I know exactly what you are" way), and why the hell does Clark basically never see her? I actually don't mind the whole "she's only here for her photo and never meant to get involved, so she's only needing to chase Bruce," that makes sense, but after Doomsday?! In Justice League?! She understands what it is for the world to be frightened of you, resistant to you, the urge to go and hide where it's safe with your family, the loneliness. I mean, just imagine MoS!Clark meeting her and the goddamn relief of it. And the way it could've played off the whole Jonathan Kent is a creepy "kill em all" weirdo now thing, if they insisted on keeping it.

Similarly, please god please show Clark being a journalist more. Perry chewing him out more. A mild hint of office politics. That's the perfect place to leaven a rough film with a dose of humour. People wouldn't have been so bothered by "Is she with you?", which is actually not that terrible a line next to some Marvel "zingers", except for it being so tonally inconsistent. A gentle thread, a few moments of it. Maybe have Clark save someone and have to scrabble to keep his identity a secret, like in MoS - maybe a minute, you could go for some physical humour or a mild sight gag. Obviously, this'd be pre-bombing the courthouse. Relatedly... 

Take out Nairomi and the branding. They serve very little purpose, story-wise, basically never come back into the plot, and only serve to make Clark and Bruce look like dicks unnecessarily when if you want to inject flaws, you have a ton of opportunities to do it with how they deal with people and their loved ones, how they deal with perps, and their brooding moments. 

Seriously, Bruce kicking the shit out of people and investigating shipments from the Black Zero and World Engine crashes would be enough to worry and piss off Clark, as would the whole "I am the night"/lack of transparency shtick. I mean, for a start, John Byrne retconned their first meeting that way in the 80s and that issue is actually great (Clark is trying to arrest Bruce when they meet, because he's young and idealistic and maybe a little up himself and he's been Supes for about five and a half minutes). Look: Clark is being revered and hates it. He blames himself for Black Zero, at least a little. He has excellent reason to be desperately projecting brightly-coloured not-a-threat and also hate that someone else is terrorising a city and violence is being revered, especially when Metropolis and Gotham are still so raw. I mean... Snyder and Goyer did the fucking stupid offensive 9/11 comparisons. Look at how that affected people and still does to this day; emotions run bloody high, and the entire point of Clark is that he's still human and terrified and guilty. And with Wallace O’Keefe and all the threatening notes... look, there's already a good plot in there! 

Meanwhile, Luthor clearly knows Bruce has been sniffing around the K shipments and could've just tipped off Clark about that as well, saying, "He clearly is gonna use it for his own power, and with how sinister and opaque and violent he's already been, he's gonna hurt people." Having his heritage used against people is one of Clark's worst nightmares, it was implied pretty clearly in MoS, and you'd still have the righteous anger. No branding needed. Kryptonian artefacts and the entire masked violent vigilantism are already enough "this is someone who thinks he's above people and can decide their lives" to piss Clark off. He could even investigate that as himself rather than Supes. You need it to be an unanon tip-off and Keefe wouldn't have access to that information? Sure, OK, just filter it through Mercy Graves and make her a "worried confidential source." I mean, she's in the movie and completely wasted. Why not actually, you know, do something with her? Clark wants to believe the best in people, and he might dislike Luthor personally, but he doesn't know Luthor's out to get him yet - or wouldn't, if the writing was better. Again, Birthright, the text Goyer repeatedly ripped from, did this brilliantly. The brand... it's overkill. Grimdark overkill.

I actually... look, I had a really fun, if baffled, time with this movie, but goodness I’d like to see what it could’ve been. And now all the film sites are waving goodbye to Batfleck again while running DC retrospectives due to Birds of Prey, and Cavill’s blue tights are in doubt, it seemed like as good a time as any.

[multifandom-panda]

HOW CHIBNALL PISSED ME OFF

I have been away from Tumblr for years, but here I am now. The reason for my return is simple: Chibnall pissed me off and Facebook is not the right place for a a rant like the one you are going to read. Posting it on twitter would make more sense, you say? Probably. But I have no time to count words. I will start with why I had high expectantions on Chibanl and then I will explain how he shuttered every single one of them. 

1. When I heard Chibnall was coming after Moffat I was happy. I have always had that twisted relationship with Doctor Who where I loved the adventures, the adrenaline, the jokes, the discoveries, the aliens, but I also loved the feels and angst that came with the Companions and the Master. I had seen Broadchurch, so I “knew” Chibnall, I was sure enough he would not mess around. I was so wrong

2. Female!Doctor. Not a fan. Nu-uh. I have never felt the need for a female Doctor. There were plenty of great female characters in Doctor Who, both in the Classic era and the New era. Every single one of them had their own personality, their own skills and flaws. It was great, because they were actually people. Doctor Who was the first show that I watched where I didn’t get annoyed by female characters. They were strong in their own ways, and that didn’t mean being a super killing machine without special fighting skills. They were real and they were fundamental. Without them the Doctor lost his moral compass and we saw that more than once. So no, I didn’t need a female Doctor, I was alreay represented by amazing women in the show who were not less important than him. Moreover, I have no problem feeling represented by a man, I mean... men are still people, they have feelings and I am capable of understanding that. It’s called empathy. I am not so stupid that I cannot relate to a character only because they don’t have my genitalia. 

3. Lack of imagination. Another problem I have with a female Doctor is the same I have when authors remake characters, when they change gender or ethnicity to a character to give people representation. It’s insulting. You are basically saying that you are not capable of creating a new character for that minority (being women, an ethnic group or disabled people) without using a pre-existing character. It means that in your head, to detach yourself from the negative stereotypes, you need a white male model because you are not able to imagine a minority character without those flaws on your own.

4. Companions: Graham was fun compared to Ryan and Yaz, but if we compare the Companions to the older ones, the new ones lose. And lose real bad. They left me nothing. They characterization is non-existent, they follow the Doctor and that’s it. Ryan should have disability but it appears only when the screenwriter remembers. Meh. I don’t have much to say about them, they really didn’t left any impression on me. I was not fond of Martha and I can list reasons why, I couldn’t stand Clara and I can go on 30 minutes saying why. These new ones are just... meh.

5. The Doctor. I didn’t see him... her... them. Let’s start with a note: I saw Jodie in Broadchurch and I didn’t like her there, so when I found out she was going to be the new Doctor, I was not amazed. If it had to be a woman, I would have preferred someone else, but anyway. This Doctor didn’t have any special features, it just looked like an hyped 10 or 11, but without their depth. Kind is an adjective, not a character trait. I feel that her character was not studied enough, she didn’t have enough depth. It got better with the beginning of this new season but honestly? You can’t be able to write a character properly only when they face their nemesis. 

6. The episodes. Oh. My. God. The first season of this new Doctor was a series of episodes that looked like they jumped out of the 60s. Teaching people through an entertainment show doesn’t mean you have to take the show, make an episode on whatever the problem you want to discuss is and make some sort of documentary about it. It means you try to explain to people through fun, adventures, analogies... those who watch DW now are not 6 years old. They know that if you show them a genocide on another planet with segregation, spaceships etc, you are telling them not to be racist assholes. They do not need Rosa Parks to give them a lecture. Episode in which appears a villain with an unkown objective and we don’t see ever again, but ok. 

7. The cherry on top. The timeless children. What. The. Actual. Fuck. So Chibnall just decided to take 60 years of TV show and toss it into the garbage can, right? That was the purpose, right? Because otherwise I don’t see it. So the Doctor is a creature from another planet, not Gallifrey, who can regenerate. The Gallifreyan see them, think “oh nice” and go all Frankenstein on them. Noice. I have just a teeny tiny itsy bitsy problem with that. And for one I mean so many that they are more than the leaves on the trees in the Amazon forest. You are nullifying “End of time”, “This is Gallifrey”, the 50th anniversary... moreover Clara saw their past, she would have seen that something was off. They can’t remember? Fine. But it’s still there, it’s not like they transplanted their brain. 

8. The name of the Doctor. The big secret. The name that must never be spoken. The name that was keeping the universe together... and they revealed it like that. Brendan? Really? The name of the Doctor was a legend, you were not supposed to name them for real! Brendan? SERIOUSLY?

9. Doctor and Master. They were friends since they were kids. They grew up together. They studied together. They went on adventures together. They lost friends together. They grew apart and they kept fighting each other... but they were best enemies. Ok, a couple of times one really killed/let the other die, but go back to the beginning and count those times. They were two faces of the same coin, getting on each other nerves and saving each other over and over again. For the Doctor, the Master was the only other Time Lord in the universe for so long he was willing to pardon a genocide to save him (more than once). Their relationship was based on the fact that in a way they were complementary: the Master has no restraints, while the Doctor tries to be good when they both have done so many terrible things (including genocide, eh Doctor? You are not so innocent, honey). Their relationship was beautiful and painful. And it went down the drain. You are telling me that the Doctor is a superior being, they are not equals anymore, they are not two faces of the same coin, they are not even the same species so what are we talking about? And the coldness of the Doctor while she lets him die? Who the hell are you?

TL;DR Chibnall took a character I loved from a show I loved and torn it apart. The season and the characters were not written as I expected, I mean that they were 2D version of themselves, no depth there. Nothing interesting. I think he tried too much all at once: female Doctor, 3 companions, one shot episodes. Man, pick one thing you want to change and stick with it. You already have to run a show you have never run before, so you have to understand how to make it work. 4 characters are difficult to handle all at once and at the same time give them all the right space, depth and characterization in seasons that have less than 15 episodes each.

I am so pissed. I didn’t appreciate Jodie, but in a little corner of my mind I had always tought I would come back to Doctor Who once she was gone, but that’s not possible anymore. Funny thing is, this show made me meet the majority of my friends, the people with whom I started hanging our 6 years ago. We would have never met without DW probably. I kind of feel robbed now.

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Handmaid's Tale: Mary and Martha (3x02)

Yep. Still amazing.

Cons:

I really can't think of anything to complain about. I guess I oddly missed checking in with the Waterfords this week, but I'm sure we'll see them again soon enough.

Pros:

Commander Lawrence is even more fascinating than he was previously, and now Mrs. Lawrence is intriguing me as well. I knew that Lawrence wasn't going to be a 100% nice guy. I could tell that he was twisted. I did think maybe he'd be a more active resistance member, but now I see that the dynamic is even more complicated than that. He's furious with June, and with his Marthas Cora and Beth, for drawing him in to this messy situation. But at the same time, there's really no fear here from the audience that he's suddenly going to turn June and the others over. He won't help, and yet by covering for them, he's doing so much more than any other Commander would dream of.

And Mrs. Lawrence - she's shaky and sickly and something seems to be wrong with her, but at the same time, she has her own moments of resistance. For one thing, she's part of the bald-faced lie that June and the Lawrences are undergoing the ceremony. She clearly doesn't want to do it, and neither does Commander Lawrence, and neither does June, but just the fact that they're not trying to get June knocked up is a bonding force between the three of them, a secret that they must keep to protect themselves, and consequently, each other. Then there's the moment when the house is being searched, and questions are being asked about the rebellious Martha who is currently bleeding out in the Lawrence's basement, and Mrs. Lawrence, surprisingly, is the one to step in and distract the men to help out in concealing the truth. This is obviously in her own best interest, because it would be hard to explain why the dying woman was there... but at the same time, she could have turned on June and the Marthas, and she didn't. I'll be keeping an eye on her.

I love this version of June, with no more shits to give. As she told Nick in episode one, she's perfectly aware that she's going to die in Gilead. She really doesn't have hope of escape anymore. She doesn't know how to escape with Hannah, and she refuses to leave without her, so... honestly, what more could she lose at this point? I noted before that this season seems to be focusing more on resistance, and we're seeing that even more now. June joins in with the network of Marthas. She disguises herself as one and helps a woman to escape. But not to Canada, as June believes - this woman is supposed to be going deeper in to the resistance to help make bombs. That's some heavy stuff. In this episode, June watches a woman die and then drags her corpse out to the garden to bury. She has been through a lot, and it has hardened her. You're never sure what you're capable of until you have to do it.

I loved the comedy mixed with world-building that came from June's exchanges with her new walking companion. This woman is totally indoctrinated, it appears. She's 100% on Gilead's side. This is obviously disgusting to June. I loved the moment at the end where they discuss another Handmaid who died in a traffic accident. June remarks that one day her walking companion snapped and pushed her in front of a bus. So funny. As is often the case with this show, though, there's always a bit more going on than first meets the eye. I think it's so important that we as an audience remember that this woman, who is supporting her oppressors, is still oppressed. Falling into line with Gilead could be a survival tactic. Maybe she doesn't really believe what she's saying. Or maybe she's been brainwashed. Either way, she's still a victim of this system.

Aunt Lydia. Oh boy. I was excited to see her, in a sick way. I loved the way her interaction went with June. June seems to be on this kick of offering genuine sympathy to everyone around her, including Serena and Aunt Lydia, but it's important to note that while she's kind to Aunt Lydia, she doesn't really bother with being overly subservient. Aunt Lydia is clearly a proud woman, who doesn't like June to see her weakness. When June tries to help her up the stairs, she gets a cattle prod for her trouble. Prior to that moment, Aunt Lydia was being polite. I was actually surprised by how nice she was being to June. And then - bam. It's good to be reminded how quickly people flip the switch. We see it here with Lydia, but there are also moments with Commander Lawrence that show the same tendency.

Meanwhile in Canada, it appears that Luke isn't bonding with baby Nichole. It's understandable, really. That's his wife's child with another man, and his wife is stuck in a situation where she's being tortured, and his daughter is still lost to him. Bless Moira for picking up the slack and helping out. I really like the dynamic here, because we've seen from the flashbacks in earlier seasons that Moira and Luke were never the best of friends. They were connected only through June. And now, they're family. And family don't always like each other, but they do love each other. I loved the moment when Luke finally held Nichole and told the baby that she looked like her mother. That was enormously sweet.

Emily is understandably having some issues adjusting to her new freedom in Canada. This show has a great knack for making ordinary things feel uncanny and off-putting. Emily being told she has high cholesterol at her doctor's appointment was just so mundane. It's a concerning yet pretty common health concern. It's such a great contrast to everything Emily has been through up to this point. The dinner scene with Luke and Moira was great - I like how Moira understands the complexities of what both Luke and Emily are feeling, and is able to make allowances for it, all while putting Emily's comfort and safety first. And then Emily calls her wife. God, that scene was so touching. Sylvia stops her car in the middle of the road to talk to her on the phone. Again, mixing the mundane in with the extraordinary. Emily just... had Sylvia's number. Was it the same number she'd had years ago? Why wouldn't it be? I love that.

Onward to the third episode! This show is just as intense and enjoyable as ever before.

9/10

[journeythrough-impossiblethings]

Journal of Impossible Things   Journey Through Impossible Things

John I – Fobwatched Tenth Doctor – David Tennant – #Journal-of-Impossible-Things-Volume-I / #Human-Nature-Family-of-Blood – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

The Tenth Doctor was hiding away from the Family of Blood in England in 1913. He used the chameleon arch to become John Smith, a perfectly ordinary human being, a man with his head in the clouds perhaps a bit too much. He was a school teacher who dreamed of being a Lord of Time. His dreams were filled with fantastical, almost fairytale-like adventures with monsters and aliens and a tiny, enormous, impossible box that travels anywhere and anywhen in the universe. And she was there, in his dreams. Her face was in his dreams, even before he knew her (he had proof, too; he drew her in his Journal of Impossible Things before he met her). She made John Smith fall in love and showed the Doctor what it was like to be normal for once. They were married and the Doctor almost had a chance at an ordinary, simple, beautiful life. But they found him, and John Smith had to wake up from his dream of an ordinary life and become the Doctor again. He left her behind, because she was just a fairytale. He didn’t know he would meet her again.

John II – Fobwatched Twelfth Doctor – Peter Capaldi – #Journal-of-Impossible-Things-Volume-II / #The-Newest-Time-Lord – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

Anna finds out she is pregnant, and Anna and the Doctor decide it is best to use the chameleon arch to turn him back into John Smith, and settle down on Earth until the baby is old enough for it to be safe for them to travel together. They live in the 21st century, which takes some getting used to for John, since he was from 1913, but he adjusts quickly. He gets a job as a schoolteacher again and continues to write his dreams down in his updated version of the Journal of Impossible Things, only this time knowing it is all real. Anna secretly works for UNIT to do her best to keep trouble away from the Doctor and the baby while the Doctor is human and the baby is young, trying to give them as normal a life as possible. Except for Him, of course. Their sentient ex-war machine “Living Construct” companion who has basically taken on the role of nanny while they’re grounded on Earth. That part is still a little unusual. Also that the Doctor still talks to his son through his watch, and sometimes the Doctor’s doppelgänger (from another life), literally, shows up.

John III – Human John – Eddie Redmayne – #Journal-of-Impossible-Things-Volume-III / #A-Life-Of-His-Own – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

After the Doctor gets stuck in the confession dial for four and a half billion years, he has a lot of emotional issues to sort out. He can deal with the pain fine, but what he can’t deal with his the pain his own pain is causing his empathic wife. She can literally feel what he feels, and he can’t stand to let her go through all that pain, so the deal was that she would live on Earth until he recovered enough from the trauma. He wouldn’t be alone. He had Tavin, and he would of course have companions like he always does. He promised he would not be alone. He wouldn’t let her be alone, either, of course. He found a couple on Earth, Sydney and Verity Lambert, in the year 1982. After the birth of their first son, they were unable to have any more children due to complications with the first pregnancy, but they really wanted their son to have a sibling. The Doctor helped them have another child, if it could be John. So he put John’s personality into the new embryo. John was a test-tube baby, but no one knew that except his parents (and the Doctor and Anna). John’s memories of his other lives were suppressed, but they still leaked out, usually in the form of dreams that he wrote down, like always. When he was in his twenties, he was a school teacher as a History teacher at the same school that Anna works at. They started dating, and not long after that Anna helped John’s suppressed memories come to the surface. They got married and had five children together and adopted a sixth, Terra Verity, their identical twins Aiden Daniel and Calder Sydney and their adopted Zygon triplet Pete Basil, Martha Skye, and Sarah Jane II.

John IV – TARDIS Matrix Ghost – Eddie Redmayne / Peter Capaldi / David Tennant – #Journal-of-Impossible-Things-Volume-IV / #In-the-Matrix – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

Anna died of old age after the human John died, and Anna was reborn as a man, going by the name of Sean. Sean finds the Twelfth Doctor, who is currently a lecturer at a university, where he and Nardole are guarding Missy in a vault beneath the school. Sean and the Doctor take the TARDIS and go back to find John as he is dying, where John’s consciousness is uploaded to a fragment of the Time Lord Matrix kept in the Doctor’s TARDIS. John stays in the TARDIS Matrix while Sean occasionally sits in the Doctor’s classes and visits John, goes on adventures with the Doctor and his student and companion Bill in the TARDIS. John gets very lonely in the Matrix by himself and they discuss the possibility of finding a way to get him out of the Matrix at about the same time they discover Anna/Sean is actually a fobwatched (second version of) Patience, the Doctor’s Time Lady (now Time Lord) wife from Gallifrey, and Anna didn’t reincarnate into Sean, she regenerated into him. They had tried to keep Anna’s marriage to John and her marriage to the Doctor separate until now (even though it’s been in debate about if they’re even different people or the same person), but when they decided to find a way to get John out of the Matrix they all accepted that Anna is going to be with both of them.

John IV.5 I – HoloJohn – Eddie Redmayne – #Journey-Through-Impossible-Things-Volume-I / #HoloDreams / #HoloJohn – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

They project a hologram of John outside of the Matrix, just within the TARDIS, so he doesn’t have to be stuck in there all the time. He travels with the Doctor, Bill and Sean as they figure out their new dynamic, but has to stay within the TARDIS. Patience and Sean decide to stay as one person, so that Sean releases Patience and has both Anna/Sean’s memories and Patience’s, but still goes mostly by Sean/Anna. At the end of The Doctor Falls, Sean stays with the Doctor as he’s blowing up the Cybermen, and the explosion causes Sean to regenerate back into a woman, who is the fourth incarnation of Patience.

John IV.5 II – RoboJohn – Eddie Redmayne – #Journey-Through-Impossible-Things-Volume-II / #Androids-Dream-of-Existential-Crises / #RoboJohn / #John-Synth – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

During Twice Upon a Time, when Testimony had the Twelfth Doctor’s TARDIS with John still inside, since he only exists within the TARDIS, they found him in there. They talked to him and found at the Doctor and Anna saved him very similarly to how they save people, but he’s stuck inside the TARDIS. They asked him if he wanted to join them, so he wouldn’t be trapped in there, but turned them down because he didn’t want to leave Anna and the Doctor. Later Testimony helped the Doctor find a synthetic body for John on New Earth from the time that Testimony comes from.

John IV.5 III – WereJohn – Eddie Redmayne – #Journey-Through-Impossible-Things-Volume-III / Howl-on-the-Moon / #WereJohn – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse

During one of their adventures, they came across a lycanthropic virus that can apparently mutate to infect synthetic bodies, and John got infected with it. The Thirteenth Doctor went back and got pregnant with Sean’s daughter who they name Jamie Alistair. Anna (Patience IV) gives birth to the Tenth Doctor’s son they name Jason Chesterton, and later somehow John gets Anna pregnant with fraternal triplets, two daughters and a son who share John’s lycanthropic virus. Their two daughters Diana and Connor and their son Lowell. Thirteen, Anna and John raise all five of the children together. Later John has a child with Patience V named Eirlys, who has a mutation of the lycanthropic virus making them a wereseal. Sometime later, during the time of the Eighteenth Doctor, Anna becomes Sean II, and he has a baby, Rosalyn, with a version of John from another universe, Kara Jon, and Kara Jon and her Anna, and Sean II, John and Eighteen all raise her, mostly in a split-custody sort of way since there’s a bit of a long distance thing, being from different universes and all.

John IV has interacted with Pete White from the Venture Bros. Fandom and Jareth the Goblin King from the Labyrinth Fandom. We also have a character who is a regular in this verse who is a Warforged OC (called Him) from the D&D Eberron Campaign Setting Fandom.

_____________________________________________________________

John IV from Mainverse - #Journey-Through-Impossible-Things-Unbound - Doctor Who TTW-verse AU/Canon Divergent

Once, before Thirteen was an actual thing, and before I made John III, just after the first Fantastic Beasts film came out, after I saw the movie I really wanted to play Newt Scamander, but Anna hadn't seen the movie yet, so very briefly I made an AU OC version of the Thirteenth Doctor with Eddie Redmayne as the FC who was basically just Newt Scamander but as the Doctor. Later, after I officially made Eddie Redmayne the main FC for John, we briefly talked about combining the two verses where John and the (Thirteenth) Doctor looked like twins. Although, now that I think about it, he could also be the elusive Eighteenth Doctor who is the Doctor during Sean II's time, instead of the Thirteenth. Idk.

_____________________________________________________________

Fobwatched Doctors AU

Fobwatched Doctors – #Fobwatched!AU – William Hartnell (Richard Hurndall, David Bradley), Patrick Troughton (Reece Shearsmith), Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, Paul McGann, John Hurt, Christopher Eccleston, Matt Smith, Jodie Whittaker, Peter Cushing – Doctor Who, Time Traveler’s Wife Whoniverse 2

John Smith One (AU Fobwatched!One) | William Hartnell (Richard Hurndall, David Bradley) | Scientific Journalist

John Smith Two (AU Fobwatched!Two) | Patrick Troughton (Reece Shearsmith) | Nursery Assistant

Jon Smith Three (AU Fobwatched!Three) | Jon Pertwee | Mechanical Engineer

John Smith Four (AU Fobwatched!Four) | Tom Baker | Sailor and Artist

John Smith Five (AU Fobwatched!Five) | Peter Davison | Writer and Author

John Smith Six (AU Fobwatched!Six) | Colin Baker | Weatherman

John Smith Seven (EU Fobwatched!Seven) | Sylvester McCoy | Human Nature novel | Teacher

John Smith Eight (AU Fobwatched!Eight) | Paul McGann | Zookeeper

John Smith War (AU Fobwatched!War Doctor) | John Hurt | Diplomat

John Smith Nine (AU Fobwatched!Nine) | Christopher Eccleston | Police Officer

John Smith Ten (Fobwatched!Ten) | David Tennant | English Teacher | Human Nature/Family of Blood Canon Divergent Fobwatched Tenth Doctor

Anna met and married John before she knew the Doctor. She finds out about the Doctor from John's dreams, his journal, and by confronting John's living pocket watch with the Doctor's consciousness inside about it. This version of John also meets Jackson Lake while he believes that he is the "Tenth" (or actually Eleventh) version of the Doctor.

John Smith Eleven (AU Fobwatched!Eleven) | Matt Smith | Toymaker

John Smith Twelve (AU Fobwatched!Twelve) | Peter Capaldi | Teacher

Joan Smith Thirteen (AU Fobwatched!Thirteen) | Jodie Whittaker | Mechanic and Inventor

Dr. John Who (AU Fobwatched Unknown Doctor) | Peter Cushing | Scientist and Inventor

The Celestial Toymaker kidnapped the Doctor, made him use the chameleon arch making him believe that he's a human scientist named Dr. Who, who invented a time machine, and travels with his granddaughters Susan and Barbara and Barbara's boyfriend Ian, and later his niece Louise, as well as a man named Tom Campbell by accident, fight the Daleks and reliving some of the First Doctor's adventures with some small changes.

[brandonatrandom]

BrandonAtRandom Reviews:

“Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice”

This one’s gonna be a doozy.

I can remember the months leading up to March 25, 2016 vividly. My heart was full of hope, my mind was full of wonder. My biggest hope was that we would finally see some version of Frank Miller’s epic story “The Dark Knight Returns”, come to the big screen. TDKR is a tale of an aging Batman coming out of retirement to take down a gang that has overrun the city, then he eventually fights Superman who was tasked by the president with taking down the increasingly dangerous Batman. The movie I went to see that March, BVS, with a couple friends, proved to execute that pretty poorly considering that was at least somewhat the mission at hand.

This movie takes the liberty of cramming several elements from multiple comic book stories into one, but proceeds to attempt to tell its own tale instead of just doing more of a true adaptation of a comic book. Don’t get me wrong, I feel that a lot of different parts of this movie have a lot to enjoy about them, so I don’t want to oversell the film as a whole as terrible or completely unwatchable, which is a temptation I’ve been wrestling with. A lot of what I see here is just heavy-handed over-the-topness. But not completely.

Take Ben Affleck as Batman. The guy who got the most shit for being cast and he did, in my opinion, a remarkable job playing both Bruce Wayne and Batman, albeit in a not great story. Henry “stupid sexy” Cavill is not a bad actor at all, they just don’t have him doing jack shit to show any range or personality here. Gal Gadot is pretty decent as Wonder Woman, but her character inclusion feels like an afterthought. Amy Adams as Lois Lane is spectacular and committed to the role as always (also, check out “Arrival” with her). Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor is quite possibly the worst take on a character I’ve seen in a comic book movie and that’s really saying something. He seems high-pitched, flustered, and flummoxed when speaking, and I get trying to do your own take, but this doesn’t even really resemble the character.#NotMyLex

This movie has more arcs going than I can honestly remember between times I watch it. I highly recommend watching the Honest Trailer for a somewhat comprehensive list of Lex’s absurdly complicated plan, but suffice it to say things could’ve been simplified a bit to make it more digestible overall. There is shit like Lex somehow presumably putting a jar of pee on a senator’s desk in advance of a hearing because she made some weird comment about calling a bucket of piss “Granny’s Peach Tea”. Why are these things in here? Who are they for? Could they not omit this from the final cut? Fuck.

Some of the best scenes are Batman breaking into the warehouse, the titular fight is okay I guess, the Batmobile chase scene is pretty good, Wonder Woman is good but feels entirely tacked on…the worst scenes though? “GOT TO SAVE MARTHA”, Lex Luthor kind of force-feeding someone a Jolly Rancher, the aforementioned “peach tea” scenes, that scene where Lex is in the water with Zod, Batman having old Robin suit with Joker writing on it prominently displayed the Batcave, which just feels like it wasn’t earned.

All in all I would say that despite this movie generally sucking at storytelling, etc. it does still manage to pop a couple over the fence. I can’t truly recommend this movie, either in the theatrical or extended cut (but if you decide to watch, go extended to make sure you are disappointed by something that is 3 hours long instead of 2.5) but I do watch this movie more than I should considering I’ve rated it this low. But hey, it’s Batman and that’s how I roll.

Sorry if this felt rambly and nonsensical and overly bloated but I like to think that’s fair in the spirit of this whole thing. What a let down.

⭐️⭐️1/2

“I bet your parents taught you that you mean something, that you're here for a reason. My parents taught me a different lesson, dying in the gutter for no reason at all... They taught me the world only makes sense if you force it to.”

[sattickate]

Heathers: The Television Pilot

So I watched the pilot for the Heathers show yesterday. It's not faithful to the original film at all. like it goes in a completely different direction - more SJW than maintaining the "status quo" like in the film, that said, I didn't hate it.

I won't be watching the rest of the series because it's not my thing. It's Heathers in concept only, not plot. It does make some references to the original (quoting famous lines, big fun is a chip brand, the new happiness posters, the original score), but it very much is a departure from the film. And it is for that reason that I can't place it on the same level as the film or even the musical. 

Though it's not outright terrible, it's not a cult classic from and set in the late 80s. This show may be "just" but it is so not "very".

(via my facebook page)

Naturally, I have a lot of opinions on Heathers, the television show. I say naturally because the film is my favourite movie of all-time. And, although I recorded a video commentary/analysis/comparison of the show in relation to the film and musical, I have no idea when I’ll get around to editing that or exactly how clear and concise my opinions will be.  So, going back to the medium at which I’m best, let me take the time to go into more detail about the show so far, my opinions on it in relation to the source material and the musical and how it would be as a stand-alone show. Future Katey coming to tell you that I did edit the video and here’s the link to watch it. 

Spoiler alert below the cut as I will be going into detail of the events of the entire pilot (as well as the film and music as a whole but if you haven’t seen those where have you been?). 

If you’d like a plot summary but don’t actually want to watch the episode.

TL;DR: below the cut, my analysis may be quite long so be prepared to read a lot.

Let’s just clarify some things right off the bat, the show is set in 2017/2018, not in 1988 as was the film (or in ‘89 like the musical). The slang has been updated to fit the time, for example, ‘very’ becomes ‘just’. References are made to the original film: big fun is now a brand of chips, there are “the New Happiness” posters hung on the walls of the school, some dialogue from the film is recycled or repurposed for the show, and (my favourite nod to the film) some of the original film score has been used (or slightly updated) for the show. [This last thing is a very minute detail, but I am such a sucker for the film’s score, so I appreciated that little touch.]

The opening is a bit graphic, to say the least.

Eight years prior to the main events of the episode, we are introduced to an adult woman in a red scrunchie. She has just doused her house in gasoline and lit the match when her husband and son come home. The father quickly runs into the house while the son stays in the car as the mother waves at him from her bedroom window then shoots herself from (under her chin/jaw) as her son is left watching the entire thing. It’s safe to assume the boy in the car is JD because, by the episode’s end, that assumption proves to be true.

So how similar is it to the film, really?

Not very. Not very at all. OK despite my ass clinging to the use of the word very for dear life now, the show honestly has very little to do with the source material. One could speculate that Shannen Doherty’s character (JD’s mother who commits suicide in the show’s cold open) might be someone from the original film and that’s how they could be linked. Otherwise, there’s not much similarity to the original beyond the basic concept and shared character names. And the references. There are loads of references to the source material - not so much to the musical - but you’d be hardpressed to forget this is a reboot with all the allusions to the original.

Why are the diverse characters the villains?

I have no fucking clue. In the narrative, it’s because people who are different are now popular. 

Heather Chandler (HC) is fat (or as the show calls it “body positive” as if to say fat is a bad word and only overweight people can be body positive) and she appears to be into a more blackmail centred version of social justice. And she’ll continue to blackmail people even after her “death” it seems - if the sneak peek at the end of the episode’s any indication. 

Heather Duke (HD) is our genderqueer character, and we see she/her pronouns being used (I can’t recall if other pronouns were also used for Duke). She basically copies HC in that blackmail approach to social justice and she’s secretly very envious of HC

Heather McNamara (HM) is our biracial Heather, she is also supposedly a lesbian, but we see her making out with one of her male teachers in the parking lot of Snappy’s Snack Shack. HD catches her in this act and claims that HM is not actually LGBTQ+ (sexuality is fluid though so maybe HM is another type of WLW. Though, by the way, this show is going HD seems correct in her assumption that HM is straight).

Outside of this narrative though it doesn’t make any sense. We could have gotten a POC Veronica and/or JD (who they seem to be making more of an antihero than outright psychopath), or they could have gender-bent JD and made Veronica WLW to provide diversity in a way that doesn’t villainise the diverse.

Trying to Flip the Script

As I said above, they seem to want to make JD more of an antihero than the psychopathic killer he was in the film. And I noticed this was something they tried to do in the musical too. They may not have gone as far as making him an anti-hero in the musical, but they were definitely trying to make him a more sympathetic character.

In the film, there’s this element of mystery to him. What was his past? When did he start killing? Was HC his first or was framing murders as suicides always his M.O.? The film alludes to his mother’s presumed suicide as the catalyst for his strange fascination with death but it never comes out an says it. Maybe I like that because it’s also left a little ambiguous to how JD’s mother died. We all know he said it was a suicide - “she walked into a building right before my dad blew it up.” - but was that the whole truth? Did she really decide to die in such a way? Was she lured into the building under false pretences (every time I watch the film, I’m very suspicious of JD’s dad, and I get the feeling that he may have murdered his wife)?

I suspect that if this show continues, and based on reviews, it’s not looking good, we’ll see more of that: how his mother died and why he is the way he is.

I also wonder how much of the other characters they plan to change. In the show, Veronica’s only label seems to be that she thinks of herself to be a “good person”. In the film, she was bored with where she was in the school’s social hierarchy. JD provided her with adventure that she wasn’t finding at school or with her friends. JD disrupted that status quo, and that’s what was so intriguing to her. In this show, though, the status quo has already been disrupted. The outsiders are insiders now.So what could JD possibly offer than changes her whole perspective?

Betty or Martha

Just as in the musical, it seems as though these two characters get combined. Unless they intend to introduce or make mention of Martha “dumptruck” Dunnstock later, it seems as though she’s been combined with Betty Finn.

As for Betty, she’s not the innocent one you loved from the film. This one seems to be quite envious of Veronica. She’s got a chip on her shoulder, and after HC’s not-really-death she delivers a eulogy on campus which seems to be setting her up as the next Heather - the new sheriff in town, as it were. Though HD and HM are fighting to claim the void that HC left as the school’s ruler, it seems by the next day, Betty would take it upon herself to claim this role. And I really don’t know how I feel about that.

In the film, Betty was Veronica’s past and a place she to which she longed to return. Betty was her life before the Heathers. And she longed for that simpler time. She was a pleasant reminder of what Veronica used to have and what she was trying to get back. Similarly, Martha was Veronica’s future. After dethroning HD, Veronica befriends Martha, and they plan to spend prom together watching movies and eating popcorn. The chaos is out of her life, and Martha offers her a chance of normality.

Having said that, my next question is, what will be Veronica’s relationship with HM? In the film, HM was the quietest of the Heathers and only really partook in events because the rest of the group was. After HD mocked her for her troubles [Poor Little Heather], she attempted suicide - which was quickly stopped by Veronica who spotted the signs. Their relationship grew in the film because of this event. There was genuine caring and support that Veronica had with HM that she didn’t have with the other Heathers and I wonder if that will ever be explored in the show. I would love to see Veronica being friends with HM and Martha in the show, if the show doesn’t die a quick death, because those were the relationships that were being created at the end of the film so we didn’t get the chance to explore them further. Veronica saw the pain these women were having and made an effort to befriend and help them after they had both attempted suicide. That is something that would be really cool to explore, but I doubt they ever will.

Wait, so Heather Chandler didn’t die?

She did not. The final moments of the episode flashback to earlier that day where HC wakes up in the morning after having smashed through her table and seemingly died the previous night. At first, she’s pissed and is prepared to make Veronica and JD’s lives a living hell, that is, until she checks her phone and realises just how much more popular she has become now that people believe her to be dead. 

And that’s where we leave things. We get a little sneak peek of episodes to come. HC will seemingly blackmail Veronica and JD to help bring about “justice” for her. Which appears to take the form of killing other students and framing them as suicides at HC’s request.

Final Thoughts

I think this could have been a really cool show had certain monikers not been attached. This show is both trying to pay homage to the film and be its own thing, and I feel like that could lead to its downfall. If the character had different names, this could be a really cool stand-alone show. The plot of the show will obviously have to deviate from the film to allow for multiple episodes, so it’s really only similar in a general concept and sporting characters with identical names to the film and musical.

Had this show been a looser adaptation/reboot or had it only been inspired by the film I could see it having a much longer life than it probably will. While I love the allusions to the film, this show is a drastic departure, and although I don’t hate it and could admire it as it’s owe thing (had the title been different and the characters’ names changed), I won’t be watching it any further.

If I’m a “stan” for anything, it would be the 1988 cult classic on which this show is based. But I just feel that the show is both trying really hard to be it’s own unique thing while also trying to be a love-letter to the film and I think that’s where it’s going to struggle.