#i think its kind of a response that says a lot by not saying a lot

[moghedien]

I think that Popular works really well in the movie, because for one thing the comedic timing is great and it low key pulls off the unvocalized "why isn't Galinda unpacking her trunks" joke so well by having her open them all during Popular to reveal increasingly ridiculous and impossible things inside

but also I feel like it does Elphaba soooo much better when you sort of remove the audience being literally present in front of the performers.

because I wouldn't say that Popular is inherently always a mean spirited song on stage, but it is to some extend a joke a between the audience and Galinda at Elphaba's expense. like not entirely not even purposely from a character standpoint so don't start getting defensive, but on stage, with basically every song, they're performing to and looking at the audience when delivering these lines. if you remove that, then its exclusively between Galinda and Elphaba, and it just feels so different that way

For one thing, even before the song starts, the build up to it feels much more personal when they're sharing secrets and bonding and it is for the first time literally only them there during this scene. You see that Galinda hasn't really changed all that much in how she acts, she's just nicer now, but it feels like Elphaba might have.

Elphaba's guard is completely down for the first time and she's sooo much softer and letting herself smile, and you can see what she's smiling at a lot is specifically how Galinda is acting and reacting to her. like even when Galinda throws a tantrum at Elphaba not telling her a secret, you see that Elphaba's reaction is to smile and let her guard slip again and she just looks so fucking fond of Galinda even when she's being like that.

And Elphaba tells her something incredibly vulnerable and something that she has never told anyone, which is that she thinks she's responsible for Nessarose's disability and her mother's death and that her father hating her is deserved. This is the first time she's ever told anyone she feels like this, and Galinda's response is to tell her that she's wrong, that none of it is her fault and she doesn't deserve to be hated or have to live in guilt over it??? like hello?? can we actually talk about this more in general?

and like yes, all of this happens on stage, but without the audience literally being there, these little moments, these reassurances, these playful actions and kindnesses are literally only for the two of them and it isn't being played off for a literal punchline where they pause for a reaction before continuing. it just feels so much more intimate

Then you get into Popular itself, which I said always is a little bit of a joke at Elphaba's expense and I wouldn't say its entirely free of that in the movie. But if you have it so that literally the only person that Galinda is playing off of and getting reactions from IS Elphaba, it feels sooo different.

Like its built up because you have these moments where you can visibly see how much Elphaba is actually fond of Galinda and her silliness. And it makes so much sense that after that and after Galinda was the only person that basically said "you don't deserve to be hated" for something she genuinely blames herself for, that Elphaba would just sit there and let Galinda play dress up with her. And on Galinda's part, it is so much clearer that it IS something she's trying to do to help Elphaba (and we can discuss how fucked her worldview is for thinking this is the best way help Elphaba because Popular is basically Galinda also showing how deeply unwell she is) and not just a joke she's having with the audience.

Because like during the song, she's directing it all to Elphaba and all of the things they try on and do are only seen between the two of them because the audience isn't literally there. like its so much clearer that Elphaba wants to be there (even when she thinks its silly and ridiculous and is clearly questioning everything on the floor while Galinda swims around her like a gay little fish) and that she's enjoying it and letting herself enjoy it, and is specifically enjoying it because Galinda is the one there with her.

I think the movie just does it so well and it just feels much kinder than it sometimes does on stage

[trans-axolotl]

Do you know of DIY psych meds or any writings/info on it, DIY meds in a similar way to DIY HRT, cause I noticed you can buy some psych meds on some of the same shops you source diy hrt, I haven't found any thing on it but I figured its just not a very popular topic because being forced on meds is usually a more pressing issue, the legal grey-ness of buying "prescriptions" with out an offical prescription, and the if-y effectiveness of a lot of psych meds but I feel like I can't be the only one who's ever thought about it

so i don't really have anything I can link to because most of what i know about this is what i've learned from my experiences with DIY HRT distro. and so there's a lot of stuff that I only feel comfortable talking about vaguely on tumblr or other public facing social media.

long story short: there are already some DIY HRT collectives out there that are also distributing psych meds in a similar way. not going to name specific names for obvious reasons, but there's around 3 or 4 DIY hrt collectives i could name in the northeast US who are already doing this. there are some challenges with distributing psych meds that are slightly different than distro for DIY HRT. part of it is due to the need to be able to keep up an ongoing supply of psych meds that might cause withdrawal. if people are relying on you as a supplier for psych meds that can cause life-threatening withdrawal if you're off of them, that is a much more severe consequence then temporarily being unable to supply someone with hrt. and so that might impact the resources needed to be able to offer a consistent supply. i think another challenge is the lack of easily accessible information about psych drugs and how they actually work in our bodies.

and like--i think about psych drugs the way i think about all drugs. they're substances that are going to have both desired and undesired effects. that is going to vary from person to person. and everyone has the right and autonomy to make those decisions for themselves, regardless of their diagnosis or whether they are seeking "treatment" or "healing" or whether it's just for fun or connection for any fucking reason. so i think it is really good and important to find ways for people to access psych drugs outside of psychiatry.

and at the same time, i also think that in the current climate, where so many people are forced on psych drugs against their will, where so much misinformation is purposefully spread by psychiatry, where so many of the undesired effects of psych drugs are hid from people, it also feels important to be able to share accurate and helpful information about how psych drugs work and what to expect, as well as information about dosages, withdrawal, tapering, etc. so i think that anyplace that is sourcing and supplying psych drugs does have a responsibility to make sure that they do know that information and can help their community find and share that kind of information.

in terms of practical information, it sounds like you're already probably familiar with how to find sources online. all i'll say on tumblr is that if you're familiar with how to use tails and tor for browsing that it's not super hard.

it's not the exact same focus, but Four Thieves Vinegar Collective has a lot of projects for different types of autonomous healthcare.

Inner Compass Initiative is not a perfect website but does have a lot of info on psych med dosages, tapering, effects, etc.

there's some other zines i'll try to find in my room and take photos of at some point if i'm able to.

biggest takeaways for me is that it always comes back to autonomy and informed consent, and figuring out ways to make that possible in our communities outside of psych authority is something that feels important and possible to me!

[mayweneverdie]

Heyyyyyyy I love your work do you have have any hcs on what red flags the rdr characters would have

Yes!!

RDR2 Red Flags

Cw: bad habits/behaviors, red flags (duh)

Notes: i’m putting the (who I consider) main people of the gang plus pookie bears ef and paytah, some of these red flags are already practically canon, but i cannot not add them. If you want any of the members not mentioned down below then send in another ask!!!

Sorry for dying 😭

If any of these seem ooc then send in an ask or dm me and I can review them! I got some help from @tempting-andromeda

Characters: Arthur Morgan, John Marston, Charles Smith, Sadie Adler, Javier Excuella, Dutch Van Der Linde, Hosea Matthews, Eagle Flies, Paytah

—

Arthur

Way too negative about himself

To the point it starts getting people around him negative/uncomfortable

Because they know it ain’t true

Sometimes gets too into fights and picks at you in a way that you don’t understand/catch until way after the fight

John

Trouble committing to something (or someone)

Does obviously stupid shit that can often inconvenience or hurt someone

Take responsibility? Hardly know her!

I feel he has a youngest sibling complex where he can kinda snake out of consequences

Charles

Not the greatest at communicating

Gets snippy and short when he’s at his wits end (but you wouldn’t know unless he told you)

Similarly to Arthur I think if he’s heated enough he’ll make a jab at you that you won’t realize until after the argument

Sadie

Easy to set off (though more due to trauma)

Slow to forgive

Also makes jabs but it’s very obvious and you feel it the second she says it

Rarely apologizes (too prideful)

Javier

Also slow to forgive (though isn’t as quick as Sadie to anger)

Ignores you rather than arguing or making jabs

But he will argue if pushed far enough

Dutch

Ok so what about him isn’t a red flag?

Arrogant and pompous in a ‘holier than thou’ way

But not in a Angelo Bronte way more of a savior complex way

Wandering eyes

Deceitful

If its you and him running from a pack of wolves but they all have one limb he’s still pushing you down to make sure he gets away

Uses gifts and services as leverage

“I give you xyz and you act like this?” “Even after all I’ve done you won’t do this/that?”

Ik his list is way longer than the others but like…

It’s Dutch

Hosea

Kind of condescending in a very fatherly way

Also like dutch but it’s very discreet

I cannot stress this enough but in many aspects they are different sides of the same quarter

This man is a con artist so he’s manipulative in subtle ways

Similar to Dutch he also uses things he gives or does for you as leverage

Except more nice like “Since I did abc it’s fair you do xyz.”

Drum roll please…

Eagle Flies!!!!

Like Sadie he’s quick to anger and slow to forgive

But it’s mostly as a defense mechanism and not because he’s an asshole

Doesn’t communicate and tries to find the quickest way to solve something or to send a message

Has the ‘you’re either with me or against me’ mentality

Spoiled as in wants things his way

Paytah!!!!

Shout out @tempting-andromeda for helping me with Paytah’s portion!!!!

Ends up ignoring you and others a lot accidentally (ie replies in his mind but doesn’t verbalize it)

Gets super defensive even if you’re on the nose about it (esp if it’s concerning his home life)

Subconsciously labels everything like if one girl he knows likes pink then that must mean all girls like pink

And it’s gotten him in very avoidable situations.

—

AGGHGGHH I’M FINALLY POSTING SOMEWHAT AGAIN!!!! Sorry for falling off the face of the earth, it will happen again!

[soup-du-silence]

I've been meaning to do a rec list for a while as part of an initiative to be more proactive about the kind of slow depreciation of fic culture in fandom, as well as being better about leaving comments and second kudos, so here are a few of the TWST fics I've enjoyed this past year

Overthrown | T | JamiKali | 1.5k words (complete)

By @thatgirlonstage

Silk City has become discontent with the Asims. Despite everything, Jamil has never wanted Kalim dead.

This is my favorite JmKl fic. Yeah its 1.5k words. Yeah it’s barely shippy. But it’s such a perfect, condensed encapsulation of who they are, the elevator pitch for the ship, imo. It boils it all down to its essence: Kalim’s unwavering optimism, Jamil’s betrayal, their enduring loyalty.

Jamil’s Expressions, As he Dances | T | JamiKali | 1k words (complete)

By thatsrightdollface

“Kalim watches recordings of the gift performance.”

Short, soft and very sweet. Kalim watches recordings of the GloMas performance to see Jamil, has Kalim-typical thoughts about him.

Borrowed Time | E | JamiKali | 44k words (complete)

By Lalaen

Crowley announces a fun new event he’s already put into motion - Parents’ Tour! Jamil needs to host the Al-Asim at Scarabia dorm, and hide what happened during his overblot, and pretend he isn’t sleeping with Kalim. Not to mention keeping Kalim - no, their entire dorm from letting anything slip.

While I don’t agree with his characterisation of the Asim family, I’m in this one for how horrible and ugly Jamil is. He’s just simmering with disgust and loathing and its very delicious imo. This one played a big part in my own “Oh Kalim likes the brainwashing, obviously” headcanons. Also Rook and Vil are there helping Jamil find his footing! We love the Scarabia/Pomefiore friendship in this house.

I Need You To Be Okay | M | JamiKali | 6k words (complete)

By Lalaen

It’s just Jamil’s luck that the one time someone tries to poison Kalim at school, he ends up getting hit with the full dose. Stabilizing Kalim is something Jamil is used to. Unfortunately, Kalim isn’t good enough at alchemy - or controlling his own trauma response - to return the favour.

Sickfic basically, featuring Jamil being stubborn, Kalim regretting, and RookVil assisting.

Honestly I think all of Lalaen’s stuff is worth checking out so be sure to click through to his profile.

Scales of Contrition | T | JamiKali, LeoKali | 52K words (ongoing)

By Pareidolia

“Jamil returns to the Scalding Sands after a decade. Time doesn't stand still.”

This fic has everything I would normally filter out of my searches: Jamil or Kalim shipped with literally anyone else, those ships with biological babies…but it works and it’s good. Lots of really good world building, political stuff, angst and pining and drama. Missed opportunities and the consequences thereof. The Asim legacy and what it means for Kalim now that he’s a father. Jamil trying to figure out where he belongs. Leona being Leona. (there’s also a second ongoing fic that documents Leona’s POV, be sure to check it out)

The Hungry Heart, The Roving Eye | T | LeoRuggie | 5k words (complete)

By @thatgirlonstage

Five things Ruggie stole from Leona and one thing he gave back.

What it says on the tin! I feel like there’s not a ton of LeoRuggie fic that’s like……sweet? Because Leona is the way he is. I imagine he makes it difficult. But this one is really cute and I like it a lot.

How to Ruin Yourself | T | LeoRuggie | 190K words (ongoing–abandoned?)

By apple_fairy

Your name is Ruggie Bucchi. You are a no-good, lowdown hyena from the slums of the Sunset Savannah. You are quick-witted, prideful, a terror, and a young boy just trying to survive the world. You bend your morals where you see fit, break the world to ensure your survival. You do not suffer from guilt, but only the idea that the world owes you overdue payment, and that you had a right to live just as anyone else does. You laugh where you can. You don't show anyone your tears. His name is Leona Kingscholar. In the beginning all he had been was a prince from the royal family, a name whispered in the markets, a faceless thing for you to hate during your hungry nights. It all begins when you finally meet him at Night Raven College. This is how you ruin yourself.

I grabbed this one off of Hilling’s rec-list and jumped into it without looking at the stats and the first chapter knocked me on my ass and then I quickly realized it was 190K words multichap and hadn’t been updated in 2.5 years, so. Oops. I looooove the prose, great world building and Ruggie characterization, and its second-person(!!!!) and I think it's got a lot of really really great stuff in it! (also it 100% needs an M rating) But I ran out of steam on it somewhere around chapter 16 and I think there are few ways to tackle this fic:

Read chapter one for how they meet, how they connect, as a sort of character study, and stop

2. Read a few more chapters to see how they become a couple, and stop.

3. Read up through Leona’s overblot, see how that affects their relationship, and stop.

Or

4. Continue reading as it was meant to be read, up through the current updates. (I haven’t done this. I lost interest. I very much like the concept that they have a brief, intense fling, become obsessed with power, and it all collapses. It could have ended there and been great, imo, but it’s clear the author wanted to follow them through the rest of the game)

Night Sculptor | E | LeoRuggie | 7k words (complete)

By shoeburn

This room, door locked, lights dim, belongs to the two of them alone. This is where Ruggie belongs. He wants Leona to belong here too.

Doomed LeoRuggie smut. Just fucking SAD, man. But good.

Unexpected Proximity! | T | FloRid | 15K words (complete)

By elo_quentalias

On an otherwise routine trip through the Hall of Mirrors, an unseen student pushes Riddle into a coffin — along with Floyd Leech. Riddle is about to discover just how far his work-in-progress patience can possibly take him.

“Two characters trapped in a tight space.” This is one of those ships that when they interact in canon Im like “hell yeah i get it” but they dont take up too much space in my mind otherwise and I havent found much good fic that helps solidify it as something possible, they always kind of show up in the background of other fics as a love/hate jokey thing. This is a good one though, Riddle has to test his patience and so does Floyd, and it forces them to meet in the middle.

Such A Funny Way to Fall | E | TreyCater | 6k words (complete)

By undeuxtreycater

Trey walks in on Cater having sex. Cater makes sure he does it again.

I do not give two farts about this ship but this is good smut to me. And everything else they’ve written is also good smut about ships I don’t care about. And it’s all they have. And I’m like 95% sure this is a side account just for someone’s TWST porn and Im really fucking mad about that because they have NO bookmarks and an empty bio and how am I supposed to see what else they’ve written?? Why would you do this to your readers? It’s just mean. Anyway Cater’s a whore check it out.

Lavendar haze | T | LilIdia | 3k words (complete)

By la_nuit_porte_couseil

“How is it possible that you have been alive for untold decades yet you’ve never been high?” aka Idia encourages Lilia to try smoking weed. It gets gay.

I don't think the characterization on this one really hits (in op’s defense it's two years old and we had significantly less Lilia then) BUT it's like a really elaborate shit-post with some turns of phrase that live rent free in my brain, worth reading for that alone. I might take “I finished all my panic attacks” with me to my grave.

[sillygoose067]

A Masked Promise

Ch.9

Dick Grayson (Nightwing) x Reader

The bright, artificial lights of the climbing wall illuminate the space as you stand at its base, eyeing the towering structure with trepidation. It’s an odd feeling, knowing you’ve never been much for physical challenges, but Dick is standing beside you, already in his harness, his easy confidence making you question your own hesitation.

“Come on,” he encourages, his tone gentle but firm, a trace of mischief playing at the corners of his lips. “You’ll love it.”

You pull your harness tight, trying not to focus on the rapid fluttering of your heartbeat. This is just climbing, you remind yourself. Not a big deal. But it feels like a lot more than that, especially with Dick beside you, watching, his blue eyes sparkling with anticipation.

“I’m not sure scaling a wall is my idea of fun,” you mutter, fumbling with the buckles on the straps, your hands more nervous than you’d like to admit.

Dick’s fingers brush yours as he adjusts your harness for you, his touch steady and warm. “You’re overthinking it,” he says, his voice smooth like he’s trying to ease the tension out of you. “Just go for it.”

You look up at the wall again, and your stomach churns, nerves mixing with excitement. “Alright, Gray. If I fall, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

He chuckles, a sound that’s deeper than you expect, as though it’s a laugh he’s only just letting slip. “I’ve got you.”

You begin climbing, your arms burning with the effort, but each pull up feels like a small victory. The higher you climb, the more your nerves are replaced by a strange sense of pride. Dick is above you, moving with fluidity that almost seems effortless, his strong arms reaching up as though gravity doesn’t apply to him. You can’t help but watch, a twinge of admiration creeping in as you push yourself further.

“Everything okay?” Dick calls down, his voice easy, though you notice the subtle alertness in his tone. It’s as if he’s constantly scanning, always prepared.

You swallow hard, trying to steady your breath. “Yeah, just taking my time.”

But as you reach the top, feeling like you’ve conquered the world from that height, Dick is already there, smiling like he’s proud of you. “Told you you’d love it.”

You laugh, the sound a mix of relief and victory. “I’ll admit—it wasn’t terrible.”

He offers a hand to help you down, but before you take it, you pause. Something in his gaze catches you—warm and steady, like he’s seeing you for who you are, not just the girl who hesitated.

————

The bookstore smells like leather and ink, its narrow aisles brimming with old stories, wisdom, and mystery. You feel a sense of comfort here, the pages whispering the kinds of secrets that make you feel safe, grounded. Dick follows you quietly, but you can’t ignore the slight discomfort in his posture, the way his eyes dart to the shelves, then back to you.

“I’ve got to admit,” he says as you pull a book from the shelf, “I didn’t think you were the type to read philosophy.”

You glance up at him, trying to gauge if his surprise is genuine or just curiosity. “It’s not all philosophy. It’s just that, sometimes, I like to read something that makes me think about… bigger things.”

His eyes narrow slightly, and you notice the intensity in them when he scans the cover of The Brothers Karamazov. “I get that. About good and evil… what makes something just.” His voice softens as he considers it, like he’s testing the words in his mind before speaking them.

You smile, intrigued by the rare glimpse of seriousness in his expression. “Yeah. It’s about the struggle, you know? Whether what’s good can ever truly be defined, or if it’s all just relative.”

Dick runs a hand through his hair, a thoughtful gesture that feels almost reflexive. “That’s kind of how I see it, too. The world isn’t black and white, and sometimes you do things you’re not proud of—for the greater good.”

There’s an undercurrent of something in his voice, something darker, but he says it so casually, so thoughtfully, that you can’t help but wonder what he means by it.

You offer a smile, trying to ease the moment, but inside, you’re beginning to realize there’s a lot more to Dick than meets the eye. “I think that’s the point of the book,” you say, “it makes you question what you think you know about right and wrong.”

He nods slowly, his gaze returning to the book, lingering on it as if the words are drawing something out of him. But then, he places it back on the shelf. “Maybe I’ll pick it up.”

You notice he doesn’t seem to shy away from philosophical discussions, but somehow, it’s clear that he’s not simply a reader—he lives it.

————

The air smells of grilled meats, tangy sauces, and something warm. You try not to focus on the tantalizing aromas filling the space, especially when Dick orders his tacos with such enthusiasm that it’s hard not to laugh. He’s completely at ease in this environment, confidently making his way through the food trucks, grabbing bites here and there, his quick grin so natural that you feel like you’ve known him far longer than you actually have.

You join in, trying a few different options with him, your favorite being the spicy jhal muri from a fusion food truck. The heat is almost overwhelming, but you watch Dick take a bite, laughing when he immediately reaches for his drink, his face reddening from the spice.

“Not bad, huh?” you tease, your own mouth still burning from the kick.

He laughs, wiping his brow. “Maybe too spicy, but yeah, it’s got a bite. I could get used to this.”

As you share food, exchanging bites like old friends, you notice the ease between you. But there’s still that undercurrent of something in Dick—his eyes, always scanning, his body poised like a coiled spring, as if he’s never fully present in the moment, but always aware of everything around him.

You wonder about it. Wonder if you’ll ever truly understand the man in front of you.

————

You both settle down on the blanket, the movie flickering to life in front of you. The golden hour sunset turns everything in soft shades, and for a brief moment, the world seems to slow. The sounds of the park fade into the background, leaving only the soft rustling of your blanket and the warmth between you two.

“I’ve watched this a hundred times,” you say, a nervous laugh escaping your lips. “I’m kind of a sucker for cheesy old school romance.”

Dick looks at the screen, then back at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I can see why you like it. It’s a simple happy ending. Everyone likes that.”

You glance at him, surprised by his observation. “Yeah, I guess. Sometimes, it’s nice to know that things can end… well.”

You can’t help but notice the way his gaze lingers on the screen, but there’s something in his expression that tells you he’s not just watching the movie. His eyes are unfocused, distant for a second, and you wonder if he’s thinking about something else entirely. Something that’s too complicated to fit into the happy ending of a simple romance movie.

When the movie ends, you lean back slightly, still unsure of where things are going. You’ve learned that Dick isn’t the type to show all of himself all at once. But every time you meet his eyes, you sense that there’s something waiting—waiting for the right moment, the right time.

————

Dick’s favorite spot, a quiet café tucked away on a rooftop, offering a view of the city skyline. It’s the kind of place that invites a slow drink and deeper conversation, and you find yourself enjoying the warmth that surrounds you both. You order drinks for both of you—he takes a smoky mezcal cocktail with a hint of lime, and you can’t help but wonder if you’re beginning to figure out what he likes.

As you sit back, sipping your drinks, you notice that, for once, Dick doesn’t seem like he’s scanning the horizon. He seems present in this moment, his posture relaxed, his conversation easy. There’s something comforting about the way he holds himself, like the city’s noise can’t touch him when he’s here.

“I like it here,” he says, looking out over the city. “It feels like a different world from down there.”

You nod, taking in the view yourself. “It’s nice, isn’t it? A place where you can just… breathe.”

He smiles, his eyes meeting yours, and for a second, it feels like there’s no one else in the world but the two of you, sharing this space.

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “A place to just be.”

The evening drifts on, and you find yourself feeling comfortable in his presence, as though this is something new—not an experience you’ve ever had before, but something worth savoring.

———————————

TAGLIST:

@mybones537 @thereeallink

[shin-kenooubu]

First Date

featuring - Chuuya Nakahara & Dazai Osamu

[sfw . third person limited if anyone cares]

a/n : this was inspired by a conversation between me and the other admin where we both agreed that Dazai would be the type to say i love you on a first date. I also didn’t actually think I’d try to write something substantial so bear with me if it’s not too good.

—

First dates aren’t really all that bad. You meet a cute girl, get to know her for a bit and you fall out because you don’t tell her where you’ve been going late at night. Thats just how it is.

As Chuuya looked at his partner for the night he couldn’t help but wonder how he got in this situation in the first place. He switched his attention to his cup of tea while letting his date blab about life. Was it him who proposed this date? Yes. Had he been thinking about it for a good long while? Yes. Did he ever think he would actually be sitting in a dainty cafe with this particular person? Well… no. Who would think that Osamu Dazai would say yes to a date with a guy who hates him? Though he supposes it could be some twisted self hatred game that he somehow managed to manipulate Chuuya into being a part of.

Whatever the case he was here now, and seriously doubting his choice of location. It was a cute cafe, usually a favorite of the girls he’s taken out before but was it the best decision to take a man here? He looked up from his cup to see his date still happily blabbing away about how boring work can be and his favorite juniors.

he seems to be happy enough.

“Chuuya I get not many girls ask you out but you should really listen to your date when they’re talking”

“Oh shut up. I was listening, you were talking about your junior atsushi. You talk about him way too much, it makes me sick. Now let’s go.” He stands up while his partner attempts to rationalize his ramblings about that particular junior. It’s weirdly sweet seeing Dazai act similar to a doting mother when talking about him. So sweet it makes him want to vomit. That feeling was one Chuuya was all too familiar with as it was constant from the minute he first met Dazai. Lately he’s been questioning whether it’s a natural feeling of hatred, or something more complex. He took a moment to take a deep breath of air as he walked out of the cafe, the air was somehow always fresher at night. “Where are we going now?”

“On a romantic walk. Obviously.” Girls liked this kind of thing. He figured he could basically treat dazai as if he were a tall girl from his reaction at the cafe. “It’s hardly romantic. How did you ever get girls to keep dating you?” He didn’t. If he could he would probably be married by now. “What? Do you want me to hold your hand? Tell you how beautiful you look? It’s hard to be romantic when I remember its you im out with. How am I supposed to know what an enigma like you wants?” There was a beat of silence before Dazai stopped walking and turned to face away from Chuuya, crossing his arms in the process.

What the hell is he doing?

“Hey.” He doesn’t turn. “Oh come on, dont do that.” No response again. He tries to walk over to where Dazai is facing only for him to continue turning so he cant see his face. “Stop.” He holds on to Dazai’s shoulders to stop him from turning, in retaliation Dazai turns his head towards the sky and closes his eyes, arms still crossed tightly, completely rejecting Chuuya’s attempts at communication. “You’re being ridiculous.” Still no movement. “Fine.” Chuuya struggles to uncross Dazai’s arms and pries his fingers apart to interlock them with his own. “Happy?” Dazai’s response comes in the form of leaving the hand that Chuuya is trying to hold fully flexed, not attempting to reciprocate the gesture in the slightest. He’s a lot more like a girl than Chuuya originally thought. So what would make a girl forgive him?

He sighed before bracing himself for what he was about to do. “Hey, don’t be like that” He softened his voice as much as he could using his free hand to reach for Dazai’s face and guide it to look down at him. “You got what you wanted didn’t you?” He caressed his cheek with his thumb and played with his hair until he felt his hand relax and reciprocate the hold Chuuya had on it. Dazai’s face remained contorted in contempt “You’re the absolute worst.” He gripped Chuuyas hand hard and continued walking. “I’ll take your death grip as a sign of you forgiving me.” He could tell that Dazai was having a hard time staying mad at him though his face was still twisted in anger. “Oh whatever.” Dazai’s face returned to its neutral state though he didn’t bother loosening his grip. Their walk continued comfortably and silently, making Chuuyas mind drift to his question at the very start of their date. What was he doing here? The question seemed to evolve the longer he was on this date. Just how exactly did he feel about Dazai? He’s never thought that he felt anything but hatred for him, but suddenly the word feels too simple and un nuanced to properly describe how he feels after so many years together.

And that’s when Dazai says the single worst thing a person could ever say on a first date. “I love you.” Oh my god. “What?” Chuuya instinctively tried to let go of Dazai’s hand but his grip remained tight not letting Chuuya break contact. “What do you mean what? I love you.” Dazai looked at Chuuya with a confused expression as if what he was saying was something obvious that they were both aware of. “Do you not love me??“ Chuuya didn’t know how to respod. “I never said that.” It’s not like he didn’t feel the same, it was a crude confession lacking buildup and preparation for what was supposed to be a crucial moment in their budding relationship. It left him speechless.“Well?” Dazai leaned in closer to hear what Chuuya had to say looking almost anxious to hear his answer, as if he doubted his previous assessment on how Chuuya felt about him. “Okay I love you. But you can’t be doing this.” He pushed Dazai’s face away from his to discourage him from doing something crazier. “Can’t be doing what?” It’s like talking to a wall. “Nothing,” Chuuya sighed “let me walk you home.” There’s no use trying to teach him date etiquette. It’s not like he’ll be having another first date now anyway.

—

[deoidesign]

happy birthday! I just wanted to let you know that I came across this account after seeing this sick horror piece of old time churches, decinding to follow the page, and then realising that it was the same artist who'd written that sick comic on time travelling werewolves and vampires which I'd lost. and they're both t4t too ! effervescent

thank you!

Honestly it is an extremely unfamiliar reality that someone could know me from multiple different things... Not sure what to do with that but I'm glad to have impacted you in small ways and I hope to continue to do so! So thanks for being here, I'm glad that fate brought us back together haha

[good-beanswrites]

Hello hello! It's me again! (That one Anon who requested Lies with Kazui & Yuno, but I've set up my account now so no need to ask anonymously again lol) Thank you for satisfying my previous request, it was such a delight to read. I keep rereading it every now and then and I'm still always left in awe with it like jesus christ you didn't have to go all in on that im sobbing with the 0207 friendship dynamic.

I've also seen your latest post and drabble asks. I'd like to request from the Drabble List#1 - #5 “Idiots. They are all idiots.” with Es themselves!

Let the prisoners have fun and Es just stares at them nonchalantly, silently judging their idiocy from afar, hell, maybe even let Yuno/Mikoto convince them to join. You can do anything as long as you think it'll fit, they're all just a little silly (minus the fact they're in prison lol).

With all that said, take your time and no rush! I can always wait. Thanks a lot! ...now back to rereading my previous request for the nth time,, i love it so much,, thankyouagain

Ah thank you so much, that means so much!! I'm so glad you liked it, that one was really nice to write :'D And yesss thank you for the request -- this was such a blast to do as well! (though I also made myself emotional over Es' lost childhood, that was less fun ;___;) I debated on several activities within the prison but thought this was plausible and fun for some mid-T1 shenanigans

Es had a job to do. They had many eyes watching them. They had several lives in their hands. They had heavy responsibilities. They didn’t have time for something as silly as ‘video game night’, regardless of the laughter that bubbled up from the common room as they passed by. They were not way tempted to join, regardless of how much fun the group seemed to be having when they peered their head in.

Fuuta had whined that Es had replaced all his requests with completely outdated consoles and games, confirming they had been successful in choosing things without any access to the internet or outside world. Plus, they thought, this gave the older prisoners a fighting chance with some of the games.

Not that they cared whether or not the prisoners had a good time. That wasn’t any concern of theirs. Even in these long periods of rest between their more eventful duties, they must remain focused.

The laughter crescendoed into delighted screaming.

Es figured one more look inside wouldn’t hurt. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on everyone, after all. 

The prisoners had gathered various chairs and bedding material, creating makeshift couches. Some piled onto the new seating, some splayed out on the ground, others stood in excitement. The television was so small, the two players needed to lean all the way forward to see. 

Mahiru bounced in her seat as Yuno whipped around her remote. Fuuta was demanding Kazui play better, gesturing wildly at the screen. Shidou chucked to himself as the others grew more intense. Haruka kept asking questions about the game, receiving an answer only about half the time. 

As the match got closer, Yuno leapt to her feet. She tried to shimmy in front of Kazui and block his view. He stood to prod her out of the way. Muu called foul play, though she said it with a thrill rather than accusation. Fuuta repeated it -- with quite a lot of accusation -- and tried to push Yuno out of the way. Mikoto tried to hold him back, voicing his support of Yuno’s methods. 

The others got caught up in the yelling. Amane’s eyes were wide in anticipation. Kotoko pumped her fist as the battle got even closer. The room erupted in movement and shoving and tripping and remote pulling -- until they yanked the tiny television forward. 

The thick cord came free, and the screen went black just before a winner was announced. Ten voices chorused their outrage.

Es shook their head. “Idiots. They are all idiots.”

They turned away as the prisoners hurried to set everything up again. They were just about to turn the corner into the panopticon when Yuno’s voice called from behind.

“Hey!” She ran up, taking advantage of their brief pause. “I saw you passing by. Why don’t you come join us?”

Not for the first time, Es wished they had enough height to look down on all the prisoners. “I’m your warden. I’m not some child here to play games with you all.”

She pursed her lips. “I’m not a kid either. But I’m still down for a night to unwind.”

“You’re lucky to have the luxury to relax. I, on the other hand, am busy right now.”  

Yuno made a show of looking left, then right, across the empty hallway. “And what exactly are you doing right now?”

“I’m working.”

She frowned. “Uh-huh…”

“I am!” They fumbled for more, coming up blank. They should have known the moment she came skipping over to them that it would be impossible to fool her. There was no need for this routine check of the prison; everyone was gathered in the common room except them. Yuno had known this before uttering a single word.

Her hands fluttered in a dismissive gesture. “Too much work is never good for you. It doesn’t matter how mature you are -- if you get too caught up in your job it’ll drive you to some crazy things.” She smirked. “Just look at Shidou. Or Mikoto!”

“I could look at you…”

Though surprise flickered across her face, she kept grinning. “Exactly! So let’s get you in here.” She tugged on their arm. Prisoners couldn’t physically move Es against their will. 

They huffed as they found themselves inching closer and closer to the entryway.

“I suppose I can come and watch,” they muttered, “and still keep an eye on you all.”

“No! No more working!” She managed to get them into the room. “Here, you can take my spot in the next round.”

Kazui looked over. “Who said you were getting the next spot?”

“Oh come on, I was clearly going to win that one.”

“Clearly? I'm pretty sure was seconds away from beating you.”

“Well then, I guess Es can take your spot.”

“Es is playing?” Haruka looked up excitedly. 

“I haven’t agreed to anything yet.”

It was as if they hadn’t said anything at all. The others launched into a discussion of who would give their remote to Es? Who would they’d face off against? Were they resetting the bracket they’d begun? Which game would they return to? The ten argued in circles for a while. For a group of murderers, they were insistent on a fair tournament. After breaking up some bickering that could have become physical, Es once again wondered how they ended up watching over a mess like this. 

At length the game was chosen, and a rematch was slated for Yuno and Kazui later in the night. To save themself time and sanity, Es went ahead and picked their opponent.

“I’ll play Fuuta.” 

He had been the obvious choice: he could supply enough chatter for the both of them, so Es could remain silent. Also, he was guaranteed to win and free them from an obligation to play more than one round. They flashed a look at some of the more observant prisoners, hoping they didn’t tip them off.

However, no one was really watching them too keenly. Mahiru clapped in joy. Yuno beamed. Mikoto shoved a remote into their hands. Haruka started rapidly explaining the rules to them. Shidou directed Es to their seat in the center. Kotoko gave them an encouraging nod. As expected, Fuuta was already deep into trash talk as he sat next to them.

They really were simple-minded people, more focused on this silly game than the fact their warden had just sat amongst them. It was dangerous to let one’s guard down in a place like this, Es reminded themself. 

With a little jingle, the match began. 

Their fingers flew across the controls. Though they had a rocky start, some sort of muscle memory kicked in. Surely this game had come out before they were born, and there was no way they’d played it regularly. None of that mattered much. Their little avatar was obviously gaining the lead.

Their eyes stayed fixed on the screen as they received slaps on the back and nudges. Their guard's cap was knocked off in the shuffling, but they couldn't risk picking it up. Voices called all around them.

“Aw, don’t just let the kid win!” Mikoto said.

“I’m not!” Fuuta was desperate. “They fucking tricked me! They’re a pro!”

Es felt energy run through their entire body. Their original plan already slipping away, they wondered if they could actually beat Fuuta. It would be fun to see… They leaned forward, holding their breath. The audience continued cheering the pair on. Once again, the room was swept up in shouts.

The match ended. A little banner flashed across the screen to name Es victorious. They jumped up, a small whoop escaping them. 

They would’ve melted in shame right then and there, if the sound weren’t already drowned out by the surrounding chaos. The others laughed and shook Es in amazement. Fuuta let out a string of colorful language.

“That was incredible!”

“Holy shit!”

“How’d you do that?”

Es placed the cap back on their head, pulling it over their eyes. “I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter. I’m done for the night.” They tried to pass off the remote, but Mikoto pushed it back into their hands. 

“Nuh-uh. I want to see this for myself.” He grabbed the other one from a dejected Fuuta. “Same game. Same characters. Lemme see what you’ve got.”

Es wasn’t meant to play one round, much less get caught up in their ridiculous tournament.

Don’t be an idiot, they told themself.

“Bring it on,” they told Mikoto.

[liquidstar]

WOW I FINALLY FINISHED THIS SET. There were a lot of things I wanted to get right for them so I took some extra time but hopefully it was worth it! The guild for this set is Cobalt Heart- a guild with focus on maritime missions, lead by (of course) guildmaster Neptune. There was no other planet I could've picked for his namesake lol. They're the guild I jokingly call the most jockish, but some moreso than others. I really do hope I did all the characters justice, but if you wanna know more about the individual members, it's under the cut as usual!

Name: Neptune

Name Origin: The planet named for the god of the ocean

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 52

Guild rank: Guildmaster

Weapon: Trident

Ethos (Power): Ocean wave (Control over water- stronger with sea water)

Flaw power is based on: Originally based on his overly relaxed go-with-the-flow nature, but since becoming a father and guildmaster he's matured, and his power grew from simple wave control to more powerful control over the ocean's water. Waves aren't always peaceful, but he's become someone who understands their power and the responsibility needed for it.

Notes: If it's unclear, the marks on his chest are meant to be top surgery tattoos, but in cool wave shapes!

Name: Triton

Name Origin: Neptune's moon, aptly named for his son

Pronouns: He/they

Age: 24

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Twin sai

Ethos (Power): Ocean breath (Underwater breathing as well as other aquatic adaptions)

Flaw power is based on: His ardent wanderlust, especially in regards to the ocean. They literally cannot leave it alone despite any possible better reasoning, which is when it becomes a problem.

Notes: Was his other parent a mermaid or did they just do the fish thing on their own? The world may never know.

Name: Otrera

Name Origin: A trojan asteroid named after the queen of the Amazons

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 32

Guild rank: 5 star

Weapon: Brass knickles

Ethos (Power): Preflexes (Hightened reflexes)

Flaw power is based on: Her overly-guarded and cagey nature.

Notes: But her brass knuckles are pink so its quirky when she knocks your teeth out.

Name: Naos

Name Origin: A star whose name means "ship"

Pronouns: He/him

Age: 21

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Modified crutches

Ethos (Power): Helm (He can change the direction of inanimate objects. It's not limited to projectiles, he can change the direction of objects while they're in someone's hand too.)

Flaw power is based on: His avoidant tenancies, especially where more serious responsibility is concerned.

Notes: Honestly? Joined the guild to boost his playboy status.

Name: Aitne

Name Origin: One of Jupiter's moons, named after the personification of Mount Etna, a stratovolcano

Pronouns: They/them

Age: 27

Guild rank: 4 star

Weapon: Spiked gauntlets and armor

Ethos (Power): Molten Core (Lava manipulation)

Flaw power is based on: Their brash and destructive nature.

Notes: Likes all their food to be charred.

Name: Ariel

Name Origin: A moon or Uranus, named after an air spirit!

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 16

Guild rank: 2 star

Weapon: Baton

Ethos (Power): Harmony (Perfect balance on anything)

Flaw power is based on: Her own difficulty maintaining emotional balance under stress

Notes: She's a gymnast! And even though I didn't make the character named "Ariel" a mermaid, you can still see a scale pattern in her leotard!

Name: Maru

Name Origin: A white dwarf whose name means "Sky." It's orbited by the planet Ahra.

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 18

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Claymore sword

Ethos (Power): Sky walking (She is capable of interacting with air as if it were a tangible object, creating leverage for herself to walk and balance on as if it were solid)

Flaw power is based on: Her somewhat vain tendency to place herself above others

Notes: Complete and utterly confident she's the cooler twin

Name: Ahra

Name Origin: A exoplanet whose name means "Ocean." It orbits the star Maru.

Pronouns: She/her

Age: 18

Guild rank: 3 star

Weapon: Claymore sword

Ethos (Power): Wave riding (Creation and control of tidal waves to ride on, as if she was surfing them with no board. But she does have to be on them.)

Flaw power is based on: Her arrogance and recklessness

Notes: Completely and utterly convinced she's the cooler twin.

Name: Pipoltr/Pip

Name Origin: A star named for "a bright and beautiful butterfly."

Pronouns: Whatever really?

Age: 8

Guild rank: 1 star

Weapon: Giant lollipop

Ethos (Power): None yet!

Flaw power is based on: N/A. This doesn't mean they're flawless, but until their power develops they're really just here to go on fun little adventures.

Notes: This child hangs around with sailors all day long. The words they know....

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

[rolandkaros]

interested by aryna's response about iga's ban...

[system-architect]

thinking about the mlm and transmasc rep situation again and i think the thing that gets me about it is how exceedingly easy and completely inconsequential it would be for a single writer to just sprinkle in a bit of rep. like a bulk of the queer rep we already have is via random npc dialogue out in city maps or festivals or something and is not even voice acted. you literally have to change NOTHING and dont even need to pay for extra voice lines to just change a single pronoun or word in some npc's pop-up text from "girlfriend" to "boyfriend". this is not a replacement for centered, featured representation with actually memorable chararacters played by queer actors or so on, but it'd be SOMETHING and it's amazing in a sad way that we have like actually nothing right now

[dellamorrte]

ok i GOTTA post about it or ill go crazy but anyway. *pulls out my soapbox* something im obsessed w about lleyth is just how much love and affection they have to give Despite It All and how the #1 way to tell if they love you is if they're always fussing over you and trying to take care of you. which is frustrating to some people but to the right people it's so so good

[phagodyke]

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.

[dbphantom]

maybe i should have gone into practical effects instead of computer science...

[rainingincale]

Why is being a living exisiting human being so very confusing 🙃