#i think it's very helpful for people with ongoing depression

[weird-obsessed-girl]

Harry dealing with abuse trauma/people finding out about Dursley’s treatment

Ok so I didn’t know exactly how to word this particular genre of Harry Potter fanfiction, but I have been reading some fanfics where either the teachers, Sirius or the golden trio find out that Harry has been abused by the Dursley’s and how Harry deals or heals from that trauma. #cupboardreveal

so therefore below is a list of fanfics that deal with this topic, this is pretty obvious but TW for child abuse, some of these I haven’t read yet so i don’t think any of them feature active abuse, more so past abuse.

All of these will be angst but many with a hopeful/happy ending. Organised by word count. If you would like some fic recs that don’t focus on Harrys abuse here’s the link to my master list Harry Potter Fic Rec (mostly Drarry)

How Each Weasley Found Out About The Dursleys - burnthebodiesandbedonewithit

What it says on the tin, Harry/Ginny (very light tho), protective Weasleys | G | 1k

Food For Thought - LoveHP

Snape notices some things throughout the years, have not read yet so IDK | T | 1.2k

Bottle It Up - mallfacee

Disabled Harry, Severitus, hurt/comfort, hiding medical issues, apart of a series | T | 2.1k

Aftermath - CreateImagineWrite

Post-final battle, Harry is dealing with trauma, Ron helps him and finds out, Trigger Warning for food issues and trauma responses | G | 3.1k

Disguised as something else - aloneintherain

Everybody lives, au war ends early, Wolfstar custody of Harry, hurt/comfort, THIS IS SO GOOD #cupboard reveal | T | 3.1k

Muggle Management - LadyWinterlight, NerdyKat

Hermione recognises the signs of abuse, part of a series, Hermione finessing the muggle system | G | 3.4K

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell - IamShadow21

Not focused on past abuse but is mentioned, Ron and Harry friendship through the years | T | 3.7K

The Cupboard - GreenEyesGreySkies

Drarry, panic attack, harmless prank that turns out to not be so | T | 4K

Bruised Hearts and Painted Skin - mikimouze16

Lupin, McGonagall and Snape find out, therapy, depression | G | 4.4K

Cascade - taradiane

Drarry, post-Hogwarts, Harry has nightmares, discussion about the Dursleys | PG | 4.7k

Claustrophobic- Annie1025

Summer at Spinner’s End, sevitus, 5th year, hurt/comfort, panic attacks | T | 4.8k

Where the Sunbeams Start - zedpm

Sirius/Severus, Soulmate au which leads to Severus getting Sirius freed, then they adopt Harry! T | 7.1k

Locked Cupboards - Lomonaaeren

Redemption, Draco is assigned to guard Dudley, Dudley talks about their childhood | T | 7.2k

Darker Than You Think - Lomonaaeren

Drarry, Draco is very much a psycho, bent on revenge, dubious consent | M (definitely should be E) | 7.8k

Fac Mihi Viam - MistressKat

Canon divergence, Harry stays at Grimmauld Plac, abuse not necessarily discussed but implied, Wolfstar | T | 7.9k

The Uncle - copprbadge

Wolfstar, gangsters au, Remus saves Harry from Dursley’s | T | 7.9k

Tugging Sleeves - Windschild178

Harry isn’t responding to Rons letters, POV Ron, Ron to the rescue | G | 8.1k

Harry Potter And The Summer At Grimmauld Place - Silver_Queen_DoS

What it says on the tin, Sirius is free, home renovation, book 3 | G | 8.6k

Listen - Marchling

Need to sign into Ao3, Sirius spies on Dursleys, hurt/comfort, misunderstandings, reconciliation | T | 10.9k

Finite Incantatem - skullcandy11

Rogue spell hits Harry and reveals some truths, manipulative Dumbledore, Harry joins the dark side | T | 12.3k currently, ongoing

Scars - pheonixgirl26

Some Gryffindor’s see some of Harry’s scar, and decide to help | M | 12.5k

Timeshare - astolat

Honestly i have not read this yet but it looks promising, Harry is spending summer at the Dursleys and then the Malfoy’s | M | 14.1k

Seven Plus One - ABlackRaven

Sirius adopts Harry, 7 times Sirius is called uncle and 1 time he’s called dad, Peter caught, hurt/comfort | T | 15.4K

What’s Left Unsaid - angel74

Post-Order of the Phoenix, Hermione and Ron look into Harry’s life at the Dursley’s, angst, hurt/comfort | T | 16.1k

A Hero - Celebony

Dudley begins to see his family in a different light | T | 18.1k

The Lioness - Aya_Diefair

Molly becomes suspicious of Harry’s relatives, she visits them, BAMF Molly, Sirius is freed | G | 18.3k

That’s Your Punishment? - slytherclaw7

Molly actually asks Harry questions, this is definitely a fix-it fic, Sirius is freed, Peter is caught, Dumbledore bashing, Tonks family taking Harry in | IDK how fanfiction.net ratings work | 19k

Pinky Promise - etymolodrarry, huffinglepuff

Remus is observant, angst with happy ending, Dumbledore bashing, implied self harm, Wolfstar | T | 19.5k

Listen Now - mrsfizzle

Harry confides in Remus, hurt/comfort, Wolfstar adopts Harry, moving into Grimmauld | G | 21.2k

Conquering the Dark - noeon (noe)

Healer!Harry and neuromagic!Draco, both work together, unearths trauma | E | 23.7k

The Chamber of Secrets and Half the Adults are Idiots - Des98

Apart of a series, Drarry, Harry recognises Lucius’ treatment of Draco, fix-it, inter-house friendships | M | 42.8k

The Article - LeeASherlook

outed by the Daily Prophet (not in the gay sense), 6th year, Drarry friendship | T | 43k ongoing

Burnt - lastcrazyhorn

Disabled Harry, Slytherin!Harry, have not read so refer to tags | T | 104.9k

Memories and Dreams - paganaidd

Series, one part Dudley’s POV | T | 140.3k

Malfoy Family Values - belana, Merry1978

This only really mentions Harry’s mistreatment but i thought it is an interesting fic to possibly explore, Malfoys adopt little Harry | G | 141.7k

Stronger At the Broken Places - enigmaticblue

More so focus’ on Sirius’ trauma, but it’s a whole Wolfstar family affair | T | 174.9k

Digging for the Bones - paganaidd

Hogwarts starts screening students for abuse, Snape conducts Harry’s screening, Snape is Harry’s bio dad, Severitus | M | 212.2k

The secret language of plants - Endrina

Severus/Remus, Sev rescues toddler Harry, this is a series of Severus/Remus being Harry’s parents, pre-Hogwarts to post, future Drarry | rating varies | 373k

Innocent - MarauderLover7

Ok so this does not focus on Harry’s abuse but Sirius gets freed and raises Harry when he’s 8 | M | 487.5k

A Year Like None Other - aspeninthesunlight

Disability, slightly Severitus, 6th year, canon divergence, Snape forces Harry to read letter from Dursleys | T | 789.5k

[gossippool]

what do you recommend for people who are very new to deadpool comics and looking to get into them?

hiii thank u for asking!! this is kind of a complicated question because there's no right answer really. especially with deadpool, there's no actual best starting point because besides the basic origin story that he was experimented on, everything else about him is fair game (he just lies all the time and has false memories about his past) and so all the comics are different, although some are connected. but here's a list of a few comics depending on what you want to explore (i have not read every deadpool comic ever so this is not the best list but i will get there):

for shorter and more lighthearted reads:

deadpool (2022)—SO so cute wade has a crush on this non-binary assassin and it's actually adorable how much he likes them lol. in terms of shorter deadpool comics i think this one is quite a standout [update: the ongoing deadpool (2024) is brilliant as well and is a direct more in-depth continuation of this]

deadpool infinity comic (2021)—a short partnership with sue storm. funny and the art style is so cute too

deadpool (2018) #6—the issues in this run are all kinda standalone stories (although they all connect at the end). they're all a fun time but this issue in particular is hilarious. comics usually don't make me actually laugh but this one did

for a more meta read that explores exactly what makes wade unique from other superheroes:

deadpool kills the marvel universe (2011)—in my opinion THE most iconic deadpool run, i'm sure everyone's heard of it lmao. a little darker but hey cameos from every marvel character ever. this was the first deadpool comic i ever read and it was a good time

for a familiar face from deadpool and wolverine (for other specific familiar faces you could just search "deadpool vs [character]" and that comic would probably exist):

honestly just search "deadpool and wolverine" and you'll probably get the whole list but here are some i've read that are lovely:

deadpool & wolverine: wwiii (2024)

deadpool vs. wolverine: slash 'em up infinity comic (2024)

weapon x-traction (2024)

for long in-depth characterisation that explores a lot of deadpool lore:

deadpool (2012)—if you've been following me you might know this is my favourite deadpool comic ever. it's pretty depressing and much grittier than the movie deadpool you might be used to, also REALLY long so it can be daunting but it's very worth it imo. it starts to get really good by the good, the bad, and the ugly issue and there's just SO much in it. for me wade in this run is inseparable from wade as a character to me (this comic is also followed up with deadpool (2015) and despicable deadpool (2017). these aren't necessary to read because 2012 kind of wraps up on its own, but it's definitely bittersweet to get to the end)

deadpool (1997)—another hulk of a comic run. i have not read this yet but i've heard very good things about it, and many people say that joe kelly is the defining deadpool writer so you could give it a go! older comics may be a little harder to read though, from experience

for comics featuring ellie (wade's daughter) that you may want to read in order if you want to fully appreciate her and wade's relationship:

deadpool (2012, 2014, 2015)

deadpool (2018, issues #8, #12, #15)

deadpool (2024)

a lot of comics will sometimes redirect you to other comics that explore a sideplot, and the main comic will just pick up where those left off so you could miss some storyline. despite this it's not necessary to read those other comics, but if you want to avoid multiple instances of this when you first go in, then i would suggest starting with the shorter runs!!

i hope this was helpful lmao sorry this got really long but i think the starting point really is different for everyone depending on what they like

[ldysmfrst]

American Mate (13) - Shall We?

Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 13 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 10,166

Work count for Story: 101,472

Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work because I almost died in August of 2024.

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, comfort, possessiveness, angst, major mentions of past trauma, Violence, Loss of pregnancy, and Alpha fronting.

BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit

AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

Knock knock knock

Startling you out of your depressing thoughts, you call out, “Who is it? I am in the bath still.”

“Ma’am, I am Bethany Ann, Omegan Alaskan Bear Hybrid and head of the preparation team. Prime Alpha Kim sent us to get you ready for the Gala. Whenever you are ready, please come out,” calls a sweet voice.

“Oh, is it really that time already?” you comment.

“Yes, ma’am, but no worries, we have plenty of time. Prime Alpha Kim stressed the importance of going at your pace to ensure your relaxation,” Bethany Ann informs. “We will wait for you in the living room.”

You think whelp time for solitude is over as you climb out of the bath and dry off. You must remember that in the future, you can ask the boys for anything, even alone time. They have told you that, and so has their manager, Sejin. You have to be confident enough to ask for it, which is the problem.

After slipping on Namjoon’s robe, you cannot help but smile as the scent of leather blends with the vanilla from your bath. Surprisingly, it is a delightful mix. The vanilla softens the leather, offering comfort and a sense of safety.

Namjoon is the leather boy of the group. Being a Prime Alpha, it makes sense that his scent is naturally more pungent and identifiable. It makes it easier for him to leave his scent behind as a show of possession and territory.

Walking out of the bathroom, a blush settles over your cheeks at the thought of having the Alaskan Timber Wolf hybrid claim possession over you.

“Ma’am?” asks a younger woman standing at your doorway. “If you please, would you follow me to the living room? Bethany Ann thought that it would be easier for the Alphas of the house to watch you from there without being in the way.”

“Sure, but you won’t have to worry about them. Jimin and Yoongi know to stay out of the area,” you mention, following behind her.

“True, I believe it was the two of them that may have dragged the third one away,” she giggles.

“Oh? Third one? Jungkook?” Your confusion is showing.

“Ah yes, he wasn’t happy with Bethany Ann being present since she is of hybrid descent,” the young lady smiled softly. “He was worried about scent tainting, but Miss Bethany Ann doesn’t have any scent glands.”

“Yep, I was born with them, but they weren’t very strong. My mother was human, and my father was a hybrid, which means I only got the smaller scent glands, fluffy hair, body structure, and strange sleeping habits,” Bethany Ann says as she joins the conversation.

“Oh, I didn’t know that traits would pass down like that,” you say in awe.

“There are more hybrid mixed humans out there than people are aware of. Many end up losing their physical animal features but keep some of the other behavioral or physical traits.” Bethany Ann smiles.

“How can you not have a scent, but you have scent glands?”

Bethany Ann’s smile falters, but before you can withdraw your question, she says, “Bears have glands in either their hands or feet.  I ended up with skin cancer that spread to the scent glands in my feet. I was lucky we caught it and removed the infected tissues before it got any farther.”

“Anyways, we are here to turn you from the pretty woman you already are into a gorgeous princess ready for her ball, right?” Bethan Ann says as she has you sit in a portable salon chair.

Everything before you that is set up on the vanity before you look brand new: makeup, jewelry, and hair pieces. Bethany Ann is the principal stylist and has two human assistants: Cindy and Kat.

Bethany Ann oversees your makeup, Cindy works on your hair, and Kat deals with your nails. Soon enough, the three of you are laughing, and it feels like you have known them for years.

You learn that Bethany Ann met Cindy and Kat, a mom-and-kid duo rocking the Cosmetic industry, during BTS’s Love Yourself World Tour. They were set to go on the Map of the Soul tour, which got canceled. However, they got along so well and had an equal love for Ateez that they made their own line of cosmetics called MayNell.

You notice a purple, white, and silver trend in all choices. “I take it, my dress is purple or white?”

“Ah, well, we have a few choices for you: purple, white, silver, or black. Namjoon already has his suit ready, and we will match his accessories to the color of your dress,” Bethany Ann informs you.

Kat, you had learned, is gender fluid, born female. Their mom, Cindy, was a widow and that “cat friend” that everyone had. Both were human but found themselves more comfortable around hybrids than anyone else.

“Oh yeah, I… you guys were amazing. I feel great and relaxed because of you three,” you sigh. “I just wish I could see you again. Can we exchange numbers?”

“Oh, of course! In fact, I am sure if you bat your eyes a little and let those boys know that you want us around, we can find a way to become your primary team,” suggests Cindy.

“Really?” You question with your hopes up as you hand over your phone. “I couldn’t flat out ask Namjoon for that. You have others to work on.”

“Actually, we are contracted. Which means we can take on any client we want, if the proposal to be your prep team comes by our desk…” Bethany Ann looks at the other two, “I don’t think any of us would be against it.”

Taking back your phone, you think about the proposal. Could you ask for that? You are just a Playmate. It’s not like you will be in front of the camera that often, right?

You got along with all of them, but Bethany Ann felt more like a sister, like how your Omega Evie felt. You could easily see her getting along with your family pack, but now wasn’t the time to add new members.

You learned that as a hybrid descendant, she didn’t have a “predominant” second gender like full-fledged hybrids, but she identified as a Beta. When she was younger, she hated being a part of the hybrid “collective,” as she used to call it, until she was an adult.

She got her college degree in fashion and cosmetics and started working under JYP. While working under JYP, she met several Idols and ended up working with StrayKids. She admitted that she now follows the hybrid culture because of one of the StrayKids members. This led to an almost hour-long session for all four of you about StrayKids.

You confess that your Bias is Felix and your wrecker is Chan, which causes the others to almost fall off their chairs in laughter.

“Chan, as in Bang Chan, aka Christopher?” asks Bethany Ann.

“Well, yeah, not Changbin, though I used to get their names confused at the beginning because I knew Chan as Chris, but that man has so many names. I mean, heck, one of them even has numbers in it!” you playfully complain.

You look at Bethany Ann as she continues to laugh but pulls out her phone.

She puts her phone on speaker, and you hear it ringing a few times before a voice comes on, “Hey, babydoll, aren’t you working right now?”

Your eyes turn to saucers as you hear the Australian accent in the voice over the phone. Involuntarily, you let out an unladylike gasp of “no way in hell” and cover your mouth, looking rapidly between the phone and the bear hybrid.

“Hi, Channie, I am at work, and my client turns out to be a StrayKids stan,” she says with a giggle still in her voice.

“Oh, was that her in the background that I heard?” Chan asks. Of course, he would hear it. Like most idols, StrayKids has only two human members, but Chan, the leader, is an Alpha Tasmanian tiger-wolf hybrid.

Shaking your head, your eyes still unblinking, you attempt to stop Bethany Ann from bringing the phone closer to you.

“You got it. Guess who her bias is?” teases Bethan Ann.

“Me?” questions the Aussie with a hilt of excitement.

“Nope, sorry, love. It’s Felix-ah. Is he nearby? Though maybe she could say hi,” inquires Bethany Ann.

“Nononononono,” you hiss quietly, “Bethany Ann… noo.”

However, to your luck(??), you hear Chan’s muffled yelling before he gets back on the phone, “Can I talk to the Stay, babydoll?”

You let out an undignified eek sound, which caused another laughing fit and a laugh from the phone: “Wait, wait… did you tell her?”

“Nope. I guess I should, though. Y/n, Christopher is my mate. We found out the first time I worked with StrayKids, he courted me, and it's been official for a little over a year.”

“Oh my god!” you exclaim with a mortified expression. “My wrecker is Mated! I am sorry! I can pick someone else. I promise!”

Again, you are met with more laughter from everyone, and Chan over the phone says, “Babydoll, let me talk to my Stay.”

“You are on speakerphone, and her name is Y/n, and technically, she is Felix-ah’s Stay,” Bethan Ann says as she places the phone in your hand. You just look at it.

“Hello, Y/n; I am Bang Chan, leader of StrayKids. Thank you for being a stan of my pack,” he says smoothly, his Aussie accent coming out the more he speaks.

“Hi,” is all you can say.

“You don’t have to worry about picking a different wrecker. Bethany Ann knows that I have people who like me. While I can’t say I am happy only to be your wrecker,” the idol sighs over the phone. “I can say that I am honored to have a fan who would respect my mate as well as you do.”

“Hey, Innie said you wanted me, Alpha?” A very deep-voiced Felix is heard through the phone, causing your breath to catch.

“Bethany called and wanted us to talk to someone. Here. Say hi and introduce yourself properly,” Chris says before you can hear the phone move around.

“안녕하세요, 저는 StrayKids의 Felix입니다. 잘 지내시죠?” the deep voice says.

It’s at that moment you die.

Like almost literally.

It isn’t till Bethany Ann nudges your shoulder that you respond, “안녕하세요, Felix-ssi.”

“Oh, Y/n speaks Korean? She was speaking English,” you hear Chris comment in the back.

“Y/n-ssi, do you prefer English?” asks Felix.

You nod, then remember this is over the phone, “Ah yes, please. I know Korean... kinda, but I am American, so English is my first language. Icanspeakineitherwhicheveryouwantmeto.”

You hear a chuckle rumble over the speaker as Felix understands what he got brought into. Dropping his voice into his lower register, Felix asks, “Y/n-noona, you wouldn’t happen to be one of our lovely Stays would you?”

Your palms are sweating as you answer, “I am.”

“Hmm…” he almost growls. “I take it from Channie-hyung’s face that he isn’t your bias then?”

From the background, Chris comments, “I am her wrecker, at least.”

“That’s very nice,” Felix says, causing you to giggle softly. “I would think it would be even more nice if that meant… I was your bias, Y/n-noona. Am I?”

“Ah huh,” you affirm, as you cannot believe you are even having this conversation. StrayKids is known for not working with any Playmate service companies, so you knew you would only get to meet or talk to them if you could only find a way to afford a fan meet or a send-off.

“Well, now you at least have talked to us, Y/n,” Felix states.

“Shit. I said that out loud?” you question, looking around only to have the team trying their best not to die from laughter.

“Yes, you did, but that is okay; you're mine, and any friend of Noona’s is a friend of ours,” the blonde Aussie says.

“Careful now, Felix-ah. Y/n-noona is Bangtan’s newest Playmate and my client. So, keep flirting to a minimum. Thank you,” Bethany Ann playfully scolds the boy.

“Alright, noona, I will behave, but you have to find a way for her to come see us. I would still love to meet her,” says Felix with a whine.

“That is if she can get away from Bangtan Pack,” Chris pipes up.

“두 분이 계시네요,” another voice joins in . “이제 행사��으로 갈 시간입니다.”

“Okay, Innie,” Felix agrees. “Oh wait, INNNNIIEEE.”

“뭐가 필요하세요, Lix?” the voice, now known as Innie, says.

“Say hi to my Stay Y/n-noona,” Felix instructs. “In English.”

“Oh. Hi, noona! I am Jeong-In. You may be Lix’s stay for now, but don’t worry. I will save you!” says a playful voice in the background.

“Yah!!!” you hear before a clattering noise takes over.

“Jeong-In-ssi, Felix-ssi, Chan-ssi???!!!” you exclaim.

“Got it!” Chan says, picking up the line. “Innie always tries to convince Felix's stans to fall for him instead. No worries, noona. It’s all fun and games. But yeah, you should come see us one day,” Chris affirms.

“I hate to cut this short, but we really must get over to Music Bank. Babydoll, you know what to do. See you when you get a chance,” Chan says before the line goes dead.

“I cannot believe you!” you playfully slap Bethany Ann’s shoulder. “I was not prepared! Like you cannot just call up someone like that!”

“Sorry, but I couldn’t help it after your 5— or was it a 10-minute speech about why Chan is the best leader and how amazing Felix was for persevering?” Bethany Ann smiles at you and goes back to getting you ready.

((if you want to see follow the link for LACMA -Date with Namjoon))

After trying on a few gorgeous dresses, your heart stuttered in your chest when you tried on a specific purple one. Purple had always been your favorite color, and you had your fair share of purple dresses, but this… this was something else.

It was a Fongt African Evening Maxi Dress, allowing you to move comfortably while showing off your natural shape.

There was a peephole in the chest area that was not very provocative. According to Bethany Ann, “You gotta keep it classy but still appealing.”

The sleeves had a slit from neckline to wrist with one strip of cloth allowing it to still move with your arms just above the bend of your elbow.

The cuffs were lined with satin and pearls, which you learned were real when they matched with beautiful dangle earrings with a flower resembling the bracelet that Seokjin gave you.

Your shoes were made of white satin and wrapped around genuine pearl ankle straps. The heels were high enough to be a heel but still comfortable to walk in, but what they did was elongate your leg when you stepped forward, and the slit in the skirt of the dress opened to just above the knee.

Your makeup was done with a dramatic black winged liner, purple eyeshadow to match the dress, and white accents to pull more pearl and satin into your look. Your lips were kept natural with a simple satin-speckled gloss.

Your nails were painted an almost hombre look, going from white tips to deep purple and an almost matching satin-speckled topcoat.

Finally, your hair was curled, re-curled, and pinned within an inch of your life, but it looked amazing. It flowed like a river in soft waves down one side of your head. Somehow, they gave you volume and fake bangs, which you could never do on your own.

“All done,” announces Bethany Ann.

Ring Ring

“Hello?” you answer your phone.

“Y/n, it’s Namjoon,” replied the wolf hybrid. “Jen should be there with the car shortly. Are you almost ready to go? Did MayNell do well?”

“Yes, they are amazing. I haven’t had this much fun getting ready for a Gala in my life,” you say, smiling at the team. Movement behind them catches your attention as you see Jen's approach.

“Oh, Jen is here now. I have to go, Namjoon. I will see you soon,” you hurriedly say to the Alpha.

“Really quick, please hand the phone to one of the team before you go,” instructs Namjoon.

“Bethany Ann, he wants to talk to one of you,” you say, holding out the phone. A series of Yes, Prime Alphas, that won’t be a problem, understood, and hums come from her while you wave hello to Jen.

The conversation isn’t long and ends with Bethany mumbling something about it being in the trunk before she hangs up and hands you back the phone.

“It looks like we will be seeing you again, as we will be on stand-by at the Gala for last-minute touch-ups and maintenance throughout the night,” she says with a smile. The other two clapped excitedly as they piled up the used makeup so they would know what to use for later tonight.

“Miss Y/l/n, we should get going soon. Prime Alpha Kim is already on location,” Jen informs you.

Nodding, you make your way to follow Jen, waving goodbye to the team. Once outside, you see it’s the same black car used for your date with Seokjin. Carefully making it down the stairs to the car, you hear a cat call coming from behind you.

Spinning around, you see Yoongi still whistling at you, and Jimin and Jungkook join in with hoots and hollers.

“Who is that sexy beast?” Jimin calls out, causing you to blush.

Jungkook is snapping probably a trillion pictures while he yells, “Work with me, pose, and pose. Now Vogue!” To which you playfully comply.

“Have a lovely night, Princess,” Yoongi calls out while holding onto the back of his younger mates to keep them from running after you like they all want to.

Even if they were a bit dorky about it.

With that, your mind wanders to the rest of the boys. They all knew that you were nervous about tonight. It wasn’t just the Gala with the dancing, tons of famous people, and the media that was making you nervous– it was Namjoon.

Sure, you went on a non-date date with Seokjin, which felt more like an actual date than any you had ever been on, but that was with Jin. Someone closer to your age, not the Prime Alpha of a sizeable mate-bonded pack, and someone not powerful enough to make or break your career.

Prime Alpha Kim Namjoon was.

Looking out the car window, you see you are on a beautiful winding road, not the busy streets you expected, which piques your curiosity, asking, “Jen, where are we?”

“We are almost there, Miss. Prime Alpha Kim is waiting for you just ahead,” she responds with a smile.

Turning around a final bend, you see the unmistakable dome of the Griffith Observatory. When you first got to California, you used to come here all the time. You can see a few spattering groups of people, but it was autumn, well, almost winter, and getting colder earlier, so it wasn’t unusual for there not to be a ton of tourists right now.

After Jen parked the car, she got out and opened your door. Guiding you around the side of the building, you see a few men in suits blocking a path for visitors, but allow the two of you in.

“He is right down this path, Miss,” Jen instructs. “The car will be waiting and ready to head to the Gala when you are finished.”

“Thank you, Jen,” you say as you walk down the path around the left of the main building. 

Once you come around the last of the curve, you see a stunning view of Los Angeles. The sun is starting to set, casting a red and orange tint on the skyscrapers. You can see the lights from homes and offices turn on, making it look like the sky has blessed the ground with stars, but that isn’t what falters your steps.

Right now, you see him.

Kim Namjoon.

He was observing the same setting sun with his back to you. He looked like a king looking over his kingdom, and his power and presence exuded from his very being.

100% Alpha.

His suit isn’t the one from this morning—no, no. It’s solid white from top to bottom, and against the bleeding colors of the sun, it makes him look stunning. His broad shoulders and solid back look like they could carry the world. The suit jacket accentuates his waist. The pants—wow, the strain of the material emphasizes the musculature beneath them.

Absent-mindedly, you have continued to walk forward with timid steps, and the slight breeze from behind you carries your scent to the Prime Alpha before he hears you.

With a quick turn, he faces you with a smile that turns to awe and shock as he takes you in. He knew you were beautiful before, but now, “You look like an angel.”

You shy at his words as you join him, “You are the one in all white, Namjoon. You look more like an angel.”

Upon hearing your words, a faint blush dusts his cheeks. Clearing his throat, he genuinely smiles at you, dimples and all, “I could never be an angel, but you sure could be mine.”

“Thank you,” you accept his compliment with your own responding blush.

Looking past him to gather your thoughts, you smile again at the view, “It’s so pretty up here. Isn’t it? I used to come here all the time.”

“I know,” he comments, causing you to look at him with a furrowed brow. “I may have asked your Beta where your favorite spot in the city was. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Looking into me, I see,” you tease. “I don’t mind. I think it’s sweet that you were interested in knowing and wanting to surprise me. Brownie points for caring.”

Your last comment now draws a look of confusion from him, prompting him to ask, “Has no one ever brought you here before?”

Walking up to the railing, you debate how much you want him to know before the Gala. This would be the best time to discuss things with him before he goes from Namjoon, the man, to RM of BTS.

“I... I don’t have much experience in this, Namjoon,” you start. “Everything I tell you tonight, you should tell Bangtan.”

Without waiting for his agreement, you continue, “After moving to California when I was 11, I pretty much became an only child with a controlling but oddly distant mother. I learned what it meant to be a family or a pack from Evie’s family.”

Namjoon joins you at the railing. His body turned to face you, his attention on nothing else. Glancing at the intensity of his focus, you pause and focus back on the slowly darling sky.

“I learned in high school that touching, hugging, cuddling was equal to whoring around since I wasn’t a hybrid. So, when a boy or girl would become comfortable with any of it, I took it as if they wanted to be with me.

“How wrong I was,” you sigh out. Namjoon, having moved closer to you while slowly pushing his calming leather scent into the air.

“I dated a few times,” I almost shyly admit. “According to my mother, I slutted my way through the short time I was in college till I ended up meeting Eric. I thought he was going to be my forever.”

It takes everything within Namjoon to keep his Alpha at bay while you talk about being with someone else. You are their mate and no one else’s. How dare someone lie to you about you being theirs.

At your silence, Namjoon tentatively takes a step forward and places a hand on your shoulder, “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Y/n.”

“I know, but with you being the Prime Alpha of the pack, there are things you should know,” you explain. Taking a deep breath and leaning into Namjoon’s touch, you feel your nerves settle down slightly more.

“Eric was fantastic at first. He even helped my mother when she was ill and bought her a condo when we decided to move in together. Mom was thrilled that I was not only with someone from a societal class, but he wasn’t a hybrid. He was so kind, respectful, attentive, but that changed. At first, I thought it was me. I didn’t make dinner on time. I was being flirty with the waiter. I dressed improperly for the occasion.

“It started with underhanded comments and backward compliments. It wasn’t long before it turned into leaving bruises from harsh grips to busted lips from getting slapped and the occasional twisted ankle from him pushing me out of his way.

“I was with him for almost ten years because I thought he loved me. Why would anyone who didn’t love me buy me gifts and sleep with me if they didn’t love me? Right?” you asked facetiously, knowing you wouldn’t get an answer.

You wipe the tears that start falling, only to have Namjoon hand you a handkerchief, “oh, thank you.”

“I am sure you saw in the medical portion of the contract that I had a miscarriage, right?” you question, turning to face him.

Not trusting his words, Namjoon only nods in confirmation. His Alpha is eerily quiet now, waiting for your following words.

“I found out that I was pregnant,” you say with a hint of lingering excitement from the idea of ever being a mother. “Seven weeks along. I was so happy because it would explain why I constantly felt exhausted and nauseous. I just knew that this news of a baby would make Eric elated, then we could finally get married, and he would treat me better because I was carrying his baby.”

By this point, your bottom lip and chin are trembling, your breath is stuttering, and your skin is hot from the turmoil of emotions, but you knew Namjoon had to know, not only because of the contract but because of his pack. He needed to know you had so much more baggage than the contract said.

They all needed to know that you were broken and worthless.

“So, I made his favorite dinner, wore his favorite pink dress, and waited for him to return home. I waited… and waited… and waited but ended up falling asleep at the dining room table before he got home.

“He finally came home late that night, almost 2 am, and yelled at me for wasting food. He was slightly buzzed and had gone out with the boys. I, of course, apologized but told him I had something special to share.

“So, I told him,” looking down at my nails, my throat so tight it is almost impossible to speak, I try to continue, “He wasn’t happy. He punched me for the first time that night. Right in the stomach. Then he grabbed my purse, took me by my hair to the stairwell, and pushed me down it.”

“The whole time, he was screaming at me about how ugly I was, how fat I was, how worthless and pathetic I was. He threw me my purse and told me to get rid of the devil’s pawn that I was carrying. I ran and ran. I don’t remember calling Evie. I don’t know how she found me and took me to the hospital. But she did. I ended up with two fractured ribs, an ankle sprain, and a miscarriage.”

Next thing you know, Namjoon is pulling you into a hug. His large form engulfs you in leather and vanilla scents, a soft growl rumbling in his chest, and he just holds you like you will fall apart if he lets go.

“It broke me,” you mumble into his chest. “After that, I moved into my flat, focused on work, brought Derek into the pack, and took time healing enough to look at myself in the mirror without crying.”

Pushing slightly on his waist, Namjoon slowly releases his hold and looks at you. His eyes hold pain and anger for what you have gone through, but there is something else. It isn’t a pitiful look; it almost looks like awe.

“Namjoon, I haven’t been with anyone since,” you say, hoping he understands what you mean.

Rubbing his hands up and down your arms, you can see him try to process his thoughts before he says, “That is… he caused… skinship. This is why you are hesitant about skinship outside your family pack. The one person you allowed to be close to you with skinship destroyed its meaning and true purpose.”

“Angel. Y/n. I don’t mean to be rude, but he is an asshole. He is worse than that, but” he growls. “I don’t want to rant. Thank you for telling me all of this. I can see why you have reacted to the pack as you have so far.”

Namjoon takes a moment to look at the now-set sun and the night skyline before continuing, saying, “First off, Angel, you are not broken; you are beautiful. Bangtan is so lucky to have such a strong and fierce woman to be with. Secondly, there is nothing wrong with not being with anyone else after going through what you have been through, and we are not going to force you to do anything you are uncomfortable with.”

“But the contract said...” you start to say.

However, Namjoon cuts you off, saying, “I know what the contract says, and we are sticking to it. You don’t have to be the world’s best at skinship. Skinship takes time, trust, comfort, and connections. Omegas are naturally prone to want skinship. Betas use it to regulate the pack, but Alphas do it out of desire and desire.

“Yoongi-hyung wants to be your safe space, Jungkook-ah desires to be your happy place, and the rest of us are right there with them. We weren’t lying when we told you that you are special to us, but we need you to see if we are special to you as well. In time.”

Taking in a deep breath, you shudder as you look him in the eyes. “Derek told me to heal and see where this all goes before he left the meeting yesterday. Now, I know he was talking about more than just my wrist.”

Searching your eyes, he tentatively asks, “And are you okay with that?”

“I…I think I am.” Your statement draws a stunning smile from the wolf hybrid, “But. But… it’s still going to take time. Just today, Jungkook and Taehyung barely kissed, and I felt like I was watching a private moment.”

“It was a private moment, but it was a private moment they wanted to share with you, Angel,” says Namjoon. “In front of the cameras, Bangtan pack is very playful, like on Run BTS, or stoic, like at Awards. However, behind closed doors… Bangtan is very affectionate. Sometimes, the younger ones can get a bit lustful, and I have to shove them behind closed doors because it’s too much for even me.”

You giggle at the thought of locking the trio in a closet and offer, “Have you ever tried a bucket of ice water?”

That pulls a hearty, honest laugh out of the Prime Alpha, “That would be very funny, but no, we haven’t. Jinnie-hyung would hate getting the packhouse wet like that.”

Taking your hands with seriousness on his face, Namjoon says, “Y/n, I will let the rest of the guys know what you told me. I will do my best to ensure that none of them hunt down this Eric person.

“But I want you to be ready for them to comfort you, to want to hold you, to show you what skinship is supposed to mean. Also, be aware that if we don’t want you to be involved in our private moments, as you call them, we wouldn’t do them while you are there.”

You smile softly, and something inside you vibrates with almost excitement about being able to feel all these things again, even though it still scares you a bit. Having an entire pack of Alphas at your back is thrilling, but you also know you must help them keep their image.

Patting his chest softly, you inform the Prime Alpha, “Well, you don’t have to worry about Eric. Evie and Derek, even before he was a pack member, had been collecting documentation and evidence of Eric’s abuse, and now he is in jail. He isn’t getting out because there were others before me.”

Stepping away from him, you glance at the sparkling city below. “Even though this chapter of my life started with a minor disaster, I think it will be a journey worth taking.”

“And you have seven men to take it with you, even step of the way,” Namjoon says, stepping up behind you and placing his hands on your shoulders, observing the sights below.

Like Yoongi, Seokjin, and Jungkook, you felt calm around him now.

He offered you his arm as you walked back to the car, which you were grateful for since it had turned chilly with the night sky.

“Angel, I have something for you,” Namjoon says as he points to a purple and white bag one of the guards at the trail entrance holds. He reaches inside and pulls out a lovely satin and lace bundle. Shaking it out, you see that it is a cloak!

You reach out to take it from him only to get it pulled away, and Namjoon wraps it around your back with a flourish, saying, “I had this made for you after I heard how well your date with Jin-hyung went. I wanted you to join me tonight, and I knew what I would be wearing, so I wanted us to match.”

He continues talking as he ties the cloak in place, “It’s made of thicker satin around the shoulders because I heard you get cold quickly, and the lace is made in the design of our Smeraldo flower, which symbolizes love and hope. It also has a hood, but I don’t want to ruin your hair.”

Wrapping yourself tighter in the folds of the cape, you can’t help but feel like the material is hugging back. You softly smile and say, “It's lovely, Namjoon. Thank you so much.”

Nope.

After adding a purple pocket square, amethyst cufflinks, and button covers (you didn’t know that was a thing) to Namjoon's look to match you more, Bethany Ann deems you ready for the Red Carpet.

You are escorted to a different car with extremely heavily tinted windows. Jen is still your driver but is now in an all-black pantsuit with purple and white satin accents.

You guess it is a BTS image thing to be all matchy-matchy.

The drive to the Gala is relatively short but still long enough for your nerves to try to kick in. Namjoon is holding your hand while scrolling on his phone, “Well, it looks like the news broke about you being our new playmate.”

You reactively squeeze his hand tighter.

“It seems like many are supportive of it because we are on tour, and they hope you can comfort us,” he smiles down at you with moon eyes. “Our Army already loves you, and so will everyone else after tonight.”

The car stops, and you can see the flashing lights through the tinted windows. Both of you take a few deep breaths.

 “Ready?” he asks. With your nod, he knocks on the window, and Jen opens the door.

The next eternity is spent getting blinded by flashing lights and being asked an excessive number of questions that you can barely hear. Namjoon, thankfully, noticed your anxiety. Bending to whisper in your ear, “Don’t worry about answering these questions. Just ignore them.”

Well, you thought before that you were getting blinded and bombarded… now it was 100 times more than that just because of the whispering. You can imagine how intimate it looked between you; all you can do is hope you look happy, not like a deer caught in headlights.

Finally, you go to areas where panels and cameras are set up. You notice a few Hollywood Stars, like Dakota Johnson from 50 Shades of Grey, Lil Nas X, who stopped to say hello to Namjoon, and even Kate Capshaw with Steven Speilberg. You had lived in Los Angeles long enough to conduct yourself properly around the Hollywood Stars and not embarrass yourself or the name of BTS.

Soon, it was time for the interviews. Thankfully, most of the questions were geared toward Namjoon. The random few that were asked of you could answer without difficulty. Some interviewers made you laugh, while others were more serious, and Namjoon would step in and take over if they got too pushy or personal.

You were concentrating on the cameras and the questions so much that you missed how Namjoon’s attention was on you any time you spoke up. His pride in your strength to not waver or fumble your words was amazing.

You were perfect.

You were his angel.

“Well, that went smoother than what I thought. It’s not so bad and kinda easy now that I look back on it,” you comment once inside the Gala.

However, the groan and the headbutt on your shoulder contradicted your feelings, “Namjoon? Are you okay?”

Holding on to your shoulders with his nose at the nape of your neck, Namjoon breathes in your sweet pea scent laced with god knows how many emotions. His Alpha is back to clawing his way forward, wanting to get your scent to stabilize.

His lack of response causes your scent to spike with worry, and you try to get him to answer, “Namjoon?”

“Hello, is everything okay?” A woman’s voice asks. Looking up, you see it is none other than Jennie from BlackPink.

“안녕하세요, Jennie-ssi. Umm… I think everything is okay, but umm,” you look over your shoulder as best as possible, only to be met with a deep growl. “Okay, maybe everything is not okay.”

“Your Y/n, right? The new Playmate for Bangtan pack?” asks Jennie.

“Yes, I am. My… word travels fast,” you smile and attempt to bow in greeting again to be growled at by the Prime Alpha at your neck.

“Miss Y/n, I don’t know if you know this, but I am a Siamese Hybrid, and your Alpha is not happy with your unsettled scent… I think,” she states with a look of concern.

You frown at the thought that your scent is causing issues for Namjoon in such a public event. Grimacing, you say, “Oh! Well, I don’t have a good handle on my scent. Umm… Do you know if they have hybrid rooms for situations like this?”

“Yes! They do… umm, hold on,” she says as she walks over to another man, and they talk in rapid Korean. Soon, they both return to where you are, but now Namjoon has decided to band his arm around your waist, keeping you closer than before. You want to giggle about the wolf hybrid asking like a koala hybrid out of nerves, but you manage to keep that locked away. Right now, the main concern was to get Namjoon out of his worry and into a safe and calm place.

“Hello, I am Lee Jung Jae, human, but I know where the rooms are. Please come with us. We already told Jennie-ah’s manager to let Namjoon-ah's manager know where you two are going,” the man says. Following them down the hall and around a corner, you see a few rooms labeled: “Hybrid only.”

“Oh, 감사합니다 선생님! Thank you for all your help,” you smile, hoping they will excuse you for not bowing.

Jennie holds the door open for you, “I haven’t seen him act like this since Jungkook-ah joined the pack. It’s a good thing; you have nothing to worry about. Just relax for 5 to 10 minutes, and everything will be fine.”

Nodding in understanding, you shuffle the two of you into the dimly lit room. There is a desk with a chair and a small couch. Couch it is.

“Alpha? Alpha, can we sit down, please?” you ask, moving toward the couch. You feel Namjoon move his head, hoping he is looking around the room. When he still doesn’t verbally respond, you try another tactic. “Alpha, my feet are hurting. Can we please sit together on the couch?”

That works.

Before you finish the sentence, Namjoon pulls you to the couch. Taking a seat, he grabs at your hips and sits you down on his lap. His arms curl around you, and his eyes, now a lovely forest green, observe your expressions.

“Hello, Alpha Joon. Are you going to be alright?” you ask while casting your eyes downward. You remembered something about eye contact and wolves not being an intelligent thing to do.

“Your scent is everywhere,” Alpha Joon replies, which shocks you since it's not the stilted speech you have heard from Alpha Yoon and Alpha Chim.

“Oh, well, yes. I suppose it is because this is a new experience for me,” you smile as you remember the reassuring touches from Namjoon during the whole thing. “Alpha was very helpful in keeping me safe and not panicking. Thank you for your attention, Alpha Joon.”

The compliment pulls a smile from the wolf hybrid, “It’s my job as Prime Alpha. Need to calm your scent. Sweet pea. Angel’s sweet pea.”

Adjusting how you sit on his lap, Alpha Joon grips on tighter, but you smile and move a little bit more, allowing you to lean against the arm of the couch while still leaning on his chest. With a relaxing sigh, you say, “I should be fine soon, Alpha Joon. I actually enjoyed walking the carpet with you.”

“Too many were watching you. Lots of people were flirting with you and with what you shared earlier… I guess my Alpha was just in protection mode or something,” he grumbles, resting his head on yours.

“Oh, you are silly, Alpha. They are just doing their jobs. You saved me when it got uncomfortable, but everything is fine now. We get to enjoy dancing and stuff now,” you try to reassure.

The room is silent when you feel a large puff of air on your head, “Sorry about that, Angel. My Alpha has been trying to front since our time at the observatory. I guess your mixture of emotions was too much,” the wolf hybrid says.

You tilt your head to see his eyes return to their darker brown color, “No worries, Namjoon. I am just glad that Jennie-ssi and Jung Jae-ssi were around to help find this room,” you smile at him, still looking between his eyes. “Your Alpha’s eyes are pretty, by the way.”

“Thank you. The green is a rare color, but the pack says it makes sense because it takes a rare breed to be a Prime Alpha,” he says with a hint of shyness.

Nodding, you say, “I would agree with them. Your Alpha also has better speech than the others so far.”

“Ah yes, that is also part of why I am the Prime Alpha. It allows me to be understood and protect my pack,” informs Namjoon.

“Make sense,” you hum. “Now, do you think you are ready to head back out? I am sure Manager Sejin is worried by now.”

He searches your face and takes a deep breath of your scent, which still isn’t entirely settled but more than it was before. Reluctantly, he says, “I am, if you are, or we could just go home… if you wanted to?”

Knowing how important and exclusive this event is, you try to smile honestly and answer, “I would like to stay. I haven’t been to a Gala with a dance floor in a while, but it looks fun.”

Those attending looked like they walked off the catwalk from New York or Milan’s fashion week. Quietly, you thank whatever powers that be granted you the talented team to make you look like you might be able to fit in with this elegant crowd.

Before taking a seat, you could spot Jennie and Jung Jae, give them a quick thumbs up, and thank them again for all their help.

The evening's events started with Michal Govan and Eva Chow’s speeches about LACMA and why we were all here. They were followed by tributes to Amy Sherald, Kehinde Wiley, and even Steven Speilberg. A short film was shown by someone you had never heard of but are now interested in.

Next came the dinner.

Shit dinner! How would you avoid being rude and eat the food without knowing what was in it? Gourmet meals at these high-flaunting Shindigz never look like what they are made of.

As if sensing your internal panic, Namjoon squeezes his hand over yours. You glance up at him, your concern showing in your eyes, but before you can say anything, he leans over and says, “Are you worried about the meal?”

Nodding you, lick your lips, trying to figure out how to explain to Namjoon how you could… could… maybe hide in that room again till dinner was over?

Watching your tongue wet your lip, Namjoon smiles at the nervous habit you share with a particular mate and informs, “It’s okay, angel. The seats are assigned, and they know your restrictions.”

Instant relief comes from his words. You should have known. They have told you many times that they will take care of you. He has told you that he will take care of you.

Maybe it’s time to start believing them.

Smiling brightly at the Prime Alpha, you turn over your hand and lock your fingers with his. You hope this conveys gratitude for the precautions and attentiveness during such a grand event.

Namjoon's eyes widen at your movement, now focused on your intertwined hands. His mate is holding his hand, not out of need but because his new mate wants to.

At that point, a strong wave of vanilla comes over the Prime Alpha, the mate bond. It’s forming between the two of you. He can feel the pull now. He didn’t destroy the bond before it got a chance to start with his proposition.

He may be known as the God of Destruction, but he will never allow any bond to break between his mates and you.

A famous DJ took over for the small, formal orchestra-like band playing in the background. He played music from all around the world.

Namjoon danced with you as best he could. That man almost had two left feet, which caused you to laugh never-endingly. Teasingly, you ask,  “How?!? Namjoon! How can you be so bad at dancing?”

“I can dance! I have only stepped on you twice, and that was because you were doing some kind of fancy thing that I hadn’t seen,” he huffed but still danced along with you until you abruptly stopped in your tracks.

“Hey, you almost got stepped on agai…” Namjoon stops talking and takes in your wide eyes and blushing(?) face.

You aren’t looking at him; you are looking past him. Turning around to see what you are looking at, he sees nothing but other guests. Looking back at you again, he notes that you are watching something or someone moving. Trying to track what you see, it hits him… Lee Min Ho. You are watching Lee Min Ho.

Stepping behind you, placing his hands on your hips, Namjoon leans into your ear, “Should I be jealous that your eyes are on another man? Not only that, but Tae-ah’s good friend Lee Min Ho?”

You snap your attention back to Namjoon, “Friends? You know Mr. Lee? Wait… jealous?”

Chuckling to himself, Namjoon looks back at the famous Korean Actor and whistles, catching his attention. A smile blooms on Min Ho’s face when he sees Namjoon, and he heads towards the two of you.

“Namjooooonnn! Why did you do that?” you harshly whisper through your toothy smile.

He whispers teasingly in your ear again, “I thought you would want to say hi to someone you clearly know of.”

“Min Ho-hyung! I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight. It’s good to see you. How is the pack search going?” Namjoon greets the stunning actor with a hearty handshake-guy hug thing.

You move out of the way, and your brain is awed to see him up close. You can handle Hollywood stars because they are everywhere, but foreign stars… that is a whole different thing because they don’t come here often.

You accidentally watched him film a little for his show The Inheritors in 2012 or something. That is when you first noticed him, but since most of his stuff was on streaming channels you had to pay for, you didn’t watch many things until recently.

Namjoon noticed your movements but continued to speak with his friend to let you relax or fangirl out.

“Joon-ah, may I ask who this lovely creature is?” Min Ho asks, turning his attention to you.

With a prideful smile, Namjoon introduces you, “This Angel is Y/n. She has graced me as my date for the Gala tonight.”

Attempting your best to maintain professionalism, you smile and respectfully bow, “만나서 반갑습니다, 선생님.”

“Oh, you speak Korean?” Min Ho says with shock, “Joon-ah, you did find a gem for tonight. Tell me, Miss Y/n, how does dancing the night away with this clumsy wolf feel?”

“Yah! I am not that bad,” exclaims Namjoon.

You giggle out, “It’s not bad. He keeps shying away from the classic dances with too much footwork, but I think my feet are grateful for that.”

“I am not shying away from classical dances. I don’t know much about ballroom forms. Besides, the band gives the DJ and guests breaks from dancing like we are now. That’s all,” Namjoon defends himself.

“Guest breaks? And here I thought I was the oldest one,” you tease.

“You ballroom dance, Miss Y/n?” asks Min Ho.

Looking at the actor, you can’t tell if he is asking because he doesn’t think someone of your size can ballroom dance or he is honestly curious.

“Yes, Mr. Lee. I have been trained in multiple ballroom dance techniques but prefer competing in classic Waltz, Salsa, or Tango,” you reply with pride. Your face becomes a defensive mask as you say, “I wouldn’t expect anyone to guess that. Besides, it's not like those dances are very popular anymore.”

A look you are unsure of what it means flows over his face as his eyes flick to Namjoon and then back to you. “Joon-ah, you know it is rude to deny a lady her request to dance. Since you won’t be joining her, I will,” he says, stepping closer to you. He bows, asking, “Miss Y/n, I would very much like to have this dance with you.”

You stand there shocked, your mind trying to grapple with the fact that A) Lee Min Ho just asked you to dance following traditional etiquette, B) Namjoon is right there, and C) LEE MIN HO just asked you to DANCE!

Before you can accept or deny the request, the band starts with a piece you recognize as Underground Tango by Goran Bregovic. The actor then takes your hand and pulls you to the center of the floor.

“Mr. Lee. Mr. Lee, I..” you try to say before he pulls you into the classic Tango hold.

Bending down to your ear, he says, “Namjoon is a little slow when it comes to taking what he wants. Dance with me, but watch him. Let’s see how long it takes for your Alpha…”

You glance at Namjoon and see that he is, of course, watching you. You're his date, so why wouldn’t he?

“Shall we?” Min Ho asks before he takes the first step into the dance. Your eyes automatically return to Min Ho’s, and your body falls into the dance like it was meant to be there.

The Tango is an intimate dance with constant body contact and wordless communication between the dancers. It requires concentration to perform well, and at this highly publicized Gala, you don’t want to look like a fool.

It was surprisingly easy to follow Min Ho’s lead. He kept his hands in proper and respectful placements, showed respect in his movements, and played up the sensuality of it all with his facial expressions… he is an actor, after all.

You maintained proper eye contact with Min Ho and followed the energy of the dance by adding flourishes to your movements and the flicks of your dress. It felt like old times pretty soon: just you and your dance partner on the floor, with the music acting as your lifeblood.

In one turn, Min Ho brought you back into his hold but placed your back in his front, which, in the proper hold, pressed the two of you together. That’s when you hear a soft chuckle coming from your dance partner.

Glancing up at Min Ho, he tilts his head toward the audience, causing you to follow his gaze. You would have frozen in place if it hadn’t been for the years of training and Min Ho’s stronghold on your body.

No longer was Namjoon standing and watching you dance with his friend – It was Alpha Joon.

With deep, even breaths and his hands clenched at his side, the forest green eyes watch you like a predator watches his prey. Flicking all over your body, they sear heat into your skin as they trace all your contact points with the actor.

“If I could wager anything, I would think your Alpha doesn’t like you being touched by me right now. Possessive much?” Min Ho says quietly.  “Let’s finish this with a show.”

Min Ho spins you around without warning and takes you into a dip. As he dips deeper, you cling to the actor, afraid to be dropped. Trailing his nose along your neck to your shoulder. His hand is securing your lifted leg through the slit at his hip.

As the music dies, he pulls you up and stands you nose to nose. Your heart is pounding, not because Lee Min Ho looks like he will kiss you… No no. It’s because Lee Min Ho looks like he will kiss you while Alpha Joon watches from somewhere in the formed crowd.

A coy smile plays on his lips as he glances behind you, “I have a feeling you may be going home early, but still, enjoy the rest of your night, Miss Y/n.”

Next thing you know, strong hands grip your waist, pulling you away from Min Ho, and a low growl rumbles through you. Your breath is stolen, and your body is not only thrumming from the dance but from the Alpha at your back.

Min Ho steps back, looking Namjoon in the eyes. He says, “Hello, Alpha Joon. Thank you for allowing me to dance with your date; she was divine.”

“Mine,” a deep, gravelly voice comes from the wolf Hybrid.

“Is she?” asks Min Ho, his eyes flashing yellowish. “My Alpha thinks she is unmarked.”

“Your Alpha? You’re a hybrid?” You are shocked to hear this as you take in the man before you but do not see any hybrid features.

“Alpha Bobcat hybrid. You didn’t think I was this graceful by being human, right? Couldn’t you feel my athletic but lithe build while we were dancing so closely?” Min Ho says as his eyes wander up and down your form. A look of something passes over his face when Namjoon’s grip tightens, and the growl grows louder.

Putting his hands up, Min Ho steps back farther. “Alpha Joon, I don’t want to push or pry. I only meant to allow your date to have a moment of fun. I will respect your claim on her… for now,” the actor says, his face turning into a mask of friendliness that does not meet his eyes.

Without looking at you, he says, “Y/n, please tell Tae-ah he needs to give me a call. It was an honor to dance with you this evening.”

With that, he turns and disappears into the crowd. However, you also want to disappear into the crowd but cannot because you have a Prime Alpha at your back with a death grip on your waist. Glancing around, you are at least relieved to see that it is mainly hybrids watching with worried looks on their faces, but no one has responded or reacted like anything is out of the ordinary.

This may be something normal for Alphas.

Running through everything you could do next to escape from the dance floor, you keep thinking about the fact that you didn’t know Lee Min Ho was a hybrid, and dancing caused Namjoon to be this unhappy. Instinctively, you should be scared, and you are… right?

Or are you excited?

It’s just adrenaline. That’s what it is; you attempt to convince yourself until you shift your weight and feel the sooo very telling dampness between your legs.

Why?

Why are you, now of all times, turned on?

It isn’t from the dancing; you would have noticed that with all the movements. Here you go again, getting turned on by a mated man: his possessiveness, his Alphaness, the body-consuming growls.

“Sweet pea, bergamot, and sugar,” Alpha Joon says as he takes a deep breath. “Min Ho left none. Good. Mine.”

“Alpha Joon, umm, should you be fronting right now at the Gala?” you ask softly.

“Fine, many hybrids are here,” he responds, rubbing his wrists along your sides and sending out calming scents to you. “Bergamot means scared. Nothing to scare from, my Angel.”

“Can we talk about this somewhere else, please?” you ask. Stepping out of his hold and quickly facing him. “Scenting in public won’t look good for your pack, Prime Alpha.”

His forest green eyes narrow at you. The look is calculating. Dropping his hands to his sides with slight irritation and sulkiness, the Alpha hybrid steps forward and cautiously asks, “Scenting is accepted, but not here?”

You smile at his tone and respond, “Yes, Alpha Joon. You may scent me, but please remember I am still getting used to this.”

Still, wanting to get away from the many hybrid eyes and not run into Lee Min Ho again, you reach for his hand and step into his personal space, asking, “Alpha Joon, can we head home now? You can scent me in the car if you’d like.”

His green eyes shine like emeralds, “I’d be honored, let’s go home.”

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[shitposting-fox]

Personal head cannon: the reason Okarun gets depressed in his yokai form is due to the lingering effects of Turbo-granny and the location-bound spirit. Spoilers for the manga will be under the cut!

This is due to a few things:

1. The backstory of the tunnel, yokai, and spirit

2. "Dandadan" as a word's potential meaning (major manga spoilers at that point!)

First, the spirits. We've already seen with Momo her ability to view the past of a yokai (Arco Silky) and we know Seiko was aware of the ongoing history behind the tunnel both Turbo-granny and the location-bound spirit where in.

With a combination of the curse, it's not a far stretch that the lingering emotions from the deceased may be having a subtle effect on Okarun.

While it's not been very overt, we've seen how the origin of a yokai is important to how they act. Those who are more vengeful will be more likely to attack whereas those who are from grief may try to protect (albeit a violent way).

While Turbo-granny is in the maneki-neko and her powers are in Okarun, there's a chance that the feelings that helped form those powers may have a subconscious effect on him. Hence, the general depression but extreme protectiveness.

Spoilers from the manga below!!

We saw him literally get on all fours like a guard dog, and push his body to the breaking point repeatedly. Going with the assumption the deceased are subconsciously effecting him, it makes more sense why the protectiveness is amped up too.

Many of the girls were probably desperate for someone to save them, anyone, and that urgency could translate into the need to protect the others (especially Momo) as a result.

The second reason I have this theory is because of the potential meaning of "dandadan"!

This one is a lot more flimsy so bear with me here. While I've already wanted for manga spoilers I'm gonna mention again MAJOR SPOILERS for the manga.

Alright so! Dandadan as a word is similar to だんだん or "dandan" which often translates to "gradually".

I don't know very much about Japanese wordplay besides a few from songs (Love Ka, song based on the Japanese word for frilled shark and the English word love), so I could be completely wrong in this guess. But I feel like the word could be an original creation for implying the gradual change of an individual due to surrounding yokai and spirits

Before I get into the Shinto rambling, I'll mention the big point that got me thinking this was the effects after Okarun lost his powers. He still excelled is a lot of sport areas and, while it could be attributed to him working out consistently, there's also a possibility he has some... Influence, let's say, from a certain yokai.

We haven't seen much of him yet after all of this, so it could be very wrong, but the way it was brought up seemed to imply a greater importance than just normal athleticism.

Now for the Shinto rambling!!

To keep it pretty short: the body plays a major role in Shinto. We've seen it with the golden balls (strong life force amped up by a yokai) plus the give and take of various yokai forms (physicality for Okarun, hair treatment for Aira).

Shinto itself has the body on a pretty high importance. Most Asian religions tend to have more focus on the body, weather it be on asceticism (bodily denial) or purity

Dandadan has shown a lot of Shinto aspects already, from the existence of Yokai and Kami to the various interacts people have with the world.

Since the body is important, it's not too far a stretch to assume the continued themes of religion and the body are going to continue through the rest of the series.

While it may not be as overt as Okarun attempting to get the rest of his genitalia back, it's still likely to appear as a major plot point.

Hence, the potential implications of "dandadan"

I could be remembering wrong, but I believe at one point Count Saint Germain even asked someone if they knew the meaning of the word, which implies it may be crucial to his current purpose in the story

We already know there's a large group of aliens who want to steal the yokai and Kami abilities so they can take over Earth and colonize more planets, and many are looking into ways of stealing them.

With the introduction of Kouki and people's powers being able to be stolen from a direct injury, we can reason that the current goal is for the aliens to find a way to get more people's powers to be then transfered to themselves.

If we go under the assumption dandadan is the gradual bleeding over of powers and/or merging of aura to where it allows a human to gain more supernatural powers they wouldn't have otherwise, it makes sense that Count Saint Germain and/or the invading aliens are attempting to find a way to utilize this ability

Of course this could be completely wrong, but it's been rotating in my brain for a while. Wanted to get it out there somewhere lol

[ladyloveandjustice]

My Favorite New Manga and Graphic Novels I Read in 2024

I read 114 manga volumes and graphic novels last year! Here’s a link to my Goodreads year in books, which tallies one book from each manga series ( I've arranged it so the manga/gns at the beginning, the novels start with Red, White & Royal Blue) and my storygraph wrap up.  

I have a post for my favorite books of 2024 you can read here! I also have a post on my top 12 anime for 2024 and you can read it here! (Also, since a lot of this is yuri, check out my broader yuri manga rec post here!)

Now let's get to all the new manga, with a little check in on ongoing titles at the bottom!

Love Bullet by inee

When someone who never had the chance to experience love meets an untimely death, they're given a chance to become a cupid. If they help enough people fall in love, they earn the chance to have another shot at life. Koharu meets her end after her best friend, Aki, confesses her love to her, and she becomes a cupid...

Love Bullet is a brand new yuri with fun characters and a cute art style that feels a little charmingly retro. The concept of modern day cupids using firearms and behaving like sharpshooters in an action movie is so fun, but there's also a beating heart behind it. The tragedy of Koharu's life being cut sort and the bittersweet arc where Koharu tries to help her living best friend deal with her lingering trauma over her sudden death...it's touching and well written. All the cupids already have a really great dynamic, and as befitting a yuri, the way the girls approach their jobs is casually queer, with the "targets" often shown to have both guy and girl options.

It's a story with great potential that seems like it could go a ton of interesting places. It's a little different than the rest of this list that it's not officially out in English yet. The reason it's here is because the author sent out an SOS that the first Japanese volume is struggling in sales, and the international yuri community, excited about the awesome story they've seen so far, rose to the challenge and bought out the first volume in Japanese! So far it's been successful! If you end up reading it (you'll have to rely on scanlation but they're easy to find) or even if you just simply want to support a cool story. I really encourage you to do the same. Here's a document on how to buy the Japanese version. Hopefully, the grassroots support will mean we get an official English release soon!

The Summer You Were There by Yuama

All you lovers of tragic lesbians, this is for you. The manga follows Shizuku, a deeply depressed girl who is so guilty about something in her past she's got some serious suicidal ideation going. But when Kaori, a girl in her class, reads her writing and guesses what's behind it, she challenges Shizuku to a bet where she has to write a novel about a romance between the two of them. Now they're suddenly spending a lot of time together, and Kaori is helping Shizuku unpack her guilt. However, Kaori is struggling too. She's actually very sick, and though she hides it, it's getting worse.

The manga is a heart wrenching meditation on grief and redemption. For very different reasons, both girls think they don't deserve love and both girls are shown they're very, very wrong by the other.

I like how Kaori tries to be the manic pixie dream girl who fixes all of Shizuku's problems, but then Shizuku very firmly says "what the hell. no. You need support too" and they're both allowed to be full characters who find solace in each other. Shizuku's backstory is also really interesting, and it hits hard. It's just a very touching, but very sad read.

Barefoot Gen by Keiji Nakazawa

Barefoot Gen is a semi-autobiographical manga by Hiroshima survivor Nakazawa Keiji. Nakazawa said the story is taken not just from his life, but those of fellow survivors he talked to and lived with.

The story follows a boy named Gen, depicting how most of his family were killed by the atomic bomb, and how he struggled to survive in a post-war Japan, while surrounded by the horrible effects of radiation poisoning, economic devastation, and American imperialism.

It sticks out from other animanga I've seen about WWII bombings in that it's very critical and angry at the Japanese government, to the point that Gen even calls the Emperor a war criminal. What stands out even more is how direct it is in denouncing of Japan's war crimes against Korea and China, as well as condemning Japanese racism against Koreans. It makes sure you know that Korean POWs and forced laborers also died and suffered because of the bomb, and that the Japanese doctors discriminated against them, forcing Koreans to wait on receiving medical treatment until every Japanese person was treated.

It does a stomach churning, effective job depicting the horror of radiation poisoning and war, and its message is extremely firm: Its the common people who suffer in the wars while those in power exploit them, that war and violence are an endless vicious cycle we must break free from, and nuclear bombing must never happen again.

Though it puts a lot of blame on the Japanese government for entering the war and on citizens for supporting it, the story is also critical of America's cruelty and imperialism, depicting lot of things America did to Japanese citizens post-war we don't get taught-- like soldiers sexually assaulting Japanese women, like getting Japanese labor activists and protestors removed from their jobs, like literally torturing Japanese leftists, like luring Japanese citizens to treatment centers with promises of medical aid for radiation sickness, only to collect the data and send them off with no help...

Though the manga is brutal, there are moments of comradery and kindness (and a lot of silly humor). Gen helps a lot of people along the way, and his resilience and his message not to give up is the heart of the manga. It's educational and very direct about subjects that both sides don't want to acknowledge-- both Japanese nationalists and American nationalists do not like it (you can learn more about that here). Despite extremely gruesome content, it's aimed at kids, so it's very blunt and direct in its messages and dialogue. But that can be kind of refreshing.

 It can get a little repetitive on occasion and storylines and characters tend to be introduced very abruptly, but it does keep you rooting for and feeling for the characters all the way through. I think it's an essential, highly informative and unforgettable read, and everyone should read at least a little bit. Or at the very least, read this interview with Nakazawa. If you can't handle the gruesome imagery of the comic, he describes his experience pretty in depth here, and there's a lot of other insight.

This Monster wants to Eat Me by Sai Naekawa

Hinako is a depressed girl who survived a terrible trauma and has been searching for death ever since. One day she gets approached by, Shiori, a mermaid who wants to eat her…but the thing is, this monster mermaid is a gourmet who wants her to be as delicious as possible, which means she’s going to make Hinako happy first before she eats her (as apparently that enhances her flavor). In the meantime Shiori has to fight off all the other monsters who want to snack on Hinako.

This is TOP TIER yuri horror and a must read for any lover of monster girls. It was custom made for a freak like me, who thinks a monster girl covered in the blood of her enemies seductively telling the protagonist she wants to devour her is the stuff that dreams are made of.

Shiori, the woman-eating mermaid in question, is a fascinating character right off the bat, always having a hint of menace and inhuman mystery, but showing some potential for genuinely caring for Hinako someday. There's an ongoing mystery of why monsters are so attracted to Hinako that's a good hook, as is the irony of Hinako starting to come alive thanks to a girl who wants to kill her. It's good stuff! And it'll get an anime soon, which I'm praying is worthy of such a cool story.

The Guy She Was Interested Wasn’t a Guy at All by Sumiko Arai

The green yuri! This web manga finally gotten a physical release this year! It tells the story of Mitsuki, a girl who works at a record shop. Her classmate Aya wanders in. Aya doesn't recognize Mitsuki with a face mask and hair hidden by a cap and immediately assumes Mitsuki's a guy. They bond over their mutual love of rock music and slowly start to get closer…and Aya finds her heart is fluttering not only over this mysterious boy, but her female classmate that seems a lot like him...

Despite it's clunky title, this manga makes a premise that could have been painfully cliche and, in the worst case, extremely uncomfortable and makes it work. It never swings into homophobic or transphobic territory imo. It helps that Aya is clearly catching feelings for "girl" Mitsuki along with "guy" Mitsuki from the beginning, subconsciously knowing they're the same person.

The focus of the story is the way their relationship develops through a shared love of Western rock music and it really captures the joy of finding someone who can share your interests and the affection that can spring up for that. The characters are very likeable and cute, the art is absolutely gorgeous, and the story as a whole has this laid back, naturalistic feeling while still developing at a good pace. I just really enjoy kicking back with my green yuri, and it's good reputation is well earned!

Maus by Art Spiegelman

This comic about Spiegelman interviewing his father, a Holocaust survivor, and learning his story (with Nazis being represented as cats and Jewish people as mice) is, of course, incredibly well known to the point it feels almost redundant to talk about it. But I did read it cover to cover for the first time last year, and unsurprisingly it's a great piece of art and an important story for anyone to look into.

The parts recounting the Holocaust were heartbreaking and horrifying as expected, and I'd expected that. But the things I hadn't heard as much about was how much the book explored Spiegelman's complicated relationship with his father, and his anxieties as an artist and whether he was the right one to tell this story. It was fascinating to see him struggle with those things, and it added a lot of layers.

The Moon on a Rainy Night by Kuzushiro

One rainy night, Saki runs into Kanon and is immediately infatuated with the other girl. When she sees Kanon at school, she discovers Kanon is hard of hearing. Kanon is understandably frustrated at the ableism she tends to endure. But as Saki reaches out and gets to know her, Kanon starts to open up. And Saki, having gone through struggles related to her sexuality in the past, starts getting anxious about her feelings for Kanon...

The Moon on a Rainy Night is just... REALLY good. Kanon is just a great character, and as a lover of stubborn, prickly girls I just find her so charming. She has a lot going on with her, like her interest in music and relationship with her family and various quirks.

One thing I really like is how narrative allows her to be frustrated about the stuff she goes through, allows her to have complex feelings about being disabled, and pays attention the little details. She has to clear up misconceptions she can't hear anything, she points out that only 20 percent of deaf people use sign language (but starts using it when she really relates to a movie and the way the cute actor uses it, which is such a teenager thing to do), the lip reading isn't treated as some magic thing, Kanon has to remind people to look at her or she can't hear them, and she misreads things a fair amount.

I'm not hard of hearing, so I'm far from the authority, but most examples of deaf and/or hard-of-hearing female characters I can think of in anime (okay so there's only two I can think of, can't say that qualifies as a pattern) are depicted as shy, super sweet and socially naive, so it's refreshing to have a character who brings some variety.

Saki is also super compelling as she wrestles with her insecurities.I really related when she was learning sign language and got bummed out by the heteronormativity of one sign (using "man" and "woman" for marriage). I also like that Saki finds an adult lesbian who gently supports her and mentors her, it's all very sweet. It's just a fantastic romance and character study, and I hope the upcoming anime does it justice.

Wash Day Diaries by Jamila Rowser and Robyn Smith

Wash Day Diaries follows four best friends and their daily lives through interconnected short stories. As the official summary states: "The book takes its title from the wash day experience shared by Black women everywhere of setting aside all plans and responsibilities for a full day of washing, conditioning, and nourishing their hair".

The comic makes a great use of color to reflect the characters' moods, and the girls are drawn vibrantly and distinctively. The peek into the characters' daily lives feels like getting to know some good friends, and there's a great attention to detail, especially with the comic's beautiful step-by-step depiction of how each woman does her hair and what it says about her.

 The comic touches on topics like depression, dementia, and homophobia. Just like real life, these things aren't neatly resolved, but the story does offer some hope and catharsis. It's a pretty quick read, but it's packed with good stuff.

Magilumiere Magical Girls Inc. by Yu Aoki

I'm going to give myself a little break and just reuse my entry for the anime. (The only difference between them is that the manga flows a bit better than the anime, moving at a faster pace with huge panels suiting the art style and the action!)

Being a magical girl is no longer the domain of teenagers, and has evolved into an actual career dominated by adult women. Kana becomes a magical girl for a scrappy start up company, and tries her best to navigate working life.

It’s the magical girl story about adult women I’ve been craving for years! Magical girl media often explores the struggles of adolescence and growing up, and this show takes us to the next step by using magical girls to explore what it’s like to be a young woman entering the working world. The focus is one Kana struggling to grow her confidence and accept support from her workplace, but it also has a lot to say about companies exploiting their workers, prizing efficiency and growth over actually taking care of their customers, and it shows how the world could be better than what it is right now. Check out my review here for more detail!

I Married My Female Friend by Shio Usui

A pair of best friends enter a platonic marriage they both agreed to with the promise they’ll divorce if one of them falls in love. But one woman has decidedly not platonic feelings for her wife, and is trying to repress them...

This is a sweet, laid-back story from the creator of Doughnuts Under the Crescent Moon. It has a very slice-of-life feel, with the characters feelings and conflicts developing subtlety. There's a focus on domestic life and the compromises and struggles one makes along the way. It's set in a world where gay marriage is legal in Japan, which is cool to see. If you liked Doughnuts, or are just looking for a chill yuri, I'd check this out!

Himawari House by Harmony Becker

 Himawari House follows the story of Nao, a half-Japanese woman who immigrated to America when she was young. She's now returning to Japan and feels a feels a deep sadness from how disconnected she's gotten from Japan's language and culture. While in Japan, she lives with two other girls, Hyejung and Tina, who are from South Korea and Singapore respectively. They form a friendship as all of them struggle to get used to Japan and deal with language barriers.

We get the interconnected stories of all three girls, and all of them are really interesting in their own way. This story does a lot of cool things with language, for example, showing words fading out when someone can't understand them, giving the reader the same experience the character is having trying to understand the language. It was a fascinating experience. The book does an effective job exploring Nao's feelings of alienation from both America and Japan, while having a lot of other interesting plotlines that made all the characters feel rounded and developed, such as struggles with independence and expectations from parents, trying to navigate romances, and dealing with homesickness. The art is beautiful as well. This is a well crafted and insightful story, that you might find especially great if you're interested in languages, cultures, stories about identity, and stories about Japan.

Kiss and White Lily for My Dearest Girl by Canno

Kiss and White Lily follows multiple lesbian relationships, with its main storyline being about two academic rivals, where one is determined to rank first in class, and the other is an effortless genius who becomes intrigued at the possibility of someone beating her.

The main couple have the kind of messy combative sexual tension I wish we’d see more often in yuri because it’s so good. I just love the drama and mixture of rage and attraction. The manga follows other couples too and while some stories are stronger than others, they're all usually entertaining in some way and its fun to watch the characters grow. The art's also very cute and the characters are vibrant. The ending is really strong too, putting a perfect cap on the story of the main couple especially.

However, big warning for some nonconsensual kisses in early volumes, with Kurosawa being especially pushy. There's also a storyline with...well it does leave you a little wiggle room on whether it's actually incest between a minor and an adult portrayed romantically??? but um. the implication is strong. Fortunately, that's mainly contained to the seventh volume--you can just skip any stories about the sisters.

When the manga is good, it's really good, and that makes up for some of the questionable elements for me, even if I wish they weren't there. You might agree or disagree!

Ongoing and ended titles:

Here's a look at some of the ongoing titles I've been following! You can look at this post for breakdowns of what they're all about and why I recommend them.

I Think My Son is Gay and I Want to Be a Wall both wrapped up with fairly open endings but remained good reads over all. I finally got around to finishing After Hours, a yuri about a girl who gets ditched by her friend at the club, only to meet a cool punk girl who introduces her to the world of DJ-ing. It's a very charming three volume tale, and I love the playful vibe and more natural-sounding dialogue, especially for the cool party-girl love interest.

There are several manga that just stay the course as far as being excellent go: Otherside Picnic (which is finally at some of the best parts of the light novels! It's getting real!), Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun, Witch Hat Atelier, A Man and his Cat, How Do We Relationship, March Come in Like a Lion, The Summer Hikaru Died and She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat.

For Yuri is my Job, I have to warn for a intense predatory sexual assault scene between an adult antagonist and one of the underage main characters. It's even ambiguous whether the underage character in question got raped for a few pages (but she wasn't). It's completely framed as a an evil, bad act by the antagonist, but how it was handled was SO intense and kind of weird I'm not sure how I feel about it. Yona of the Dawn has gotten incredibly intense lately and continues extremely slowly but surely approaching the finale. Maybe we'll get it in four years or something.

And that it! I'm going to happily keep reading all these manga, as well as continue checking out some new ones, like Akane-banashi! I hope you enjoyed these recs.

[reasonsforhope]

I'm sorry I'm sending so many asks. I've been struggling like this for a year now, and it's barely gotten easier, but you've often been a good help with my anxiety. I really appreciate everything you do. It's hard to have hope.

I've had a really bad moment again recently. I have to be honest, the worst thing, that makes me the most anxious out of everything else, is COVID. Because it feels like nobody is paying attention, and that there is no good news. There is never any good news. COVID is always the catalyst for the worst of my anxious slumps. It's really bad. COVID is very, very scary. If you somehow have anything for that, I'd be thankful. Often I've only been able to set my heart on nasal vaccines, or next gen vaccines in general, but they're not going fast enough whatsoever.

I'm sorry, again. I don't want to try and treat you like a therapist. I just trust you. If this is too overwhelming, you can just delete it, but if you do, I'd like to know. Just so I'm not waiting for it to be answered.

I just ravaged through someone's doomy collapse blog, again, after stumbling on it in my rising anxiousness, and it was not good. I think I'm clearly too open-minded of a person to some degree, and I feel so pulled around by information that I see. I don't want to be placated, out of the loop, or lied to, but I don't want to feel hopelessly depressed. Everything is too complex. I feel like I've been through this maze, top to bottom, over and over again, and again. I just wish I knew how much truth their words held, or anyone else's words held.

And I wish we were all masking, at the very least. I'm holding myself back from swearing. I don't know if you'd have a good way to counteract general "collapse" thoughts, either. But that's also a thing.

<3 I'm touched by your trust.

I just found some good news about COVID - the first genuinely good covid-related news article I've seen in a while, instead of all of the "ah but young abled people are fine!" bs - and remembered this ask.

"As new varieties of the coronavirus took center stage during the COVID-19 pandemic, the odds of developing long COVID dropped. Those who were vaccinated against the virus saw the biggest plunge over time.

For every 1,000 unvaccinated people, 104 developed long COVID up to one year after an infection during the pre-delta phase of the pandemic. That fell to 95 per 1,000 during the delta variant’s era and 78 during omicron’s reign. Among vaccinated people, just 53 out of 1,000 developed long COVID up to a year after infection during delta and only 35 during omicron, researchers report July 17 [2024] in the New England Journal of Medicine.

The study of U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs Health Care System data looked at people who had a COVID infection from March of 2020 — the month the pandemic began — to the end of January in 2022. The researchers, from the Veterans Affairs St. Louis Health Care System, compared the rates of long COVID during three phases of the pandemic among those who had and had not gotten vaccinated...

A comparison of omicron infections with infections from prior eras found that 72 percent of the drop in the long COVID rate during omicron was attributable to vaccines. The remainder was due to changes in the virus and improvements in medical care and the use of antiviral treatments during the omicron phase.

Even with the steep decline in the occurrence of long COVID for vaccinated people, there is still a risk, the researchers write. With “the large numbers of ongoing new infections and reinfections, and the poor uptake of vaccination,” they continue, this “may translate into a high number of persons” with long COVID."

-via ScienceNews, July 17, 2024

--

Masking continues to be important. The virus continues to be a problem. But especially given the decline in masking, I'm really encouraged to see this news. Because long covid IS scary. And I'll take any good news on this front that I can get.

It's especially encouraging because it shows how much staying on top of your vaccinations really does matter and really can prevent long covid.

I'm also really hopeful (though I don't have a related background and have no idea how realistic my hopes are) that this trend has been continuing past the end of the study (2022).

[conclaveyaoi]

Thomas Lawrence's Fav Four at the moment (it took him weeks to write down this answer and he had to ask Aldo for the name of the last one because he forgot the title)

I. The Seventh Seal: I can see him watching this for first time quite young, early 30s maybe, coincidentally during a major crisis of faith/suicidal ideation episode and he felt seen. he's not much of a cinema fan so this was a landmark for him, he understood that cinema sometimes is about connection when you feel the most alone and kept that in mind. I chose this one because I think everyone who is sadly suicidal quite often/has major existential crisis will find some sort of solace in the philosophical discussions in this and it happens to be my fav Bergman.

II. Andrei Roublev: even though I haven't seen it, I'm guessing it's a staple in the type of film he actually sits down to watch and he watched it early in his life. considering his ongoing crisis of faith and depression, I can see how this could be inspiring. fun meta fact: Ralph Fiennes seems to be a fan of Russian cinema.

III. My Night At Maud's: again we're staying in theme and I like to think this was a recommendation from Aldo, again in their early 30s and it was the first movie they watched together so he holds it dear to his heart. next to Andrei Roublev, this feels provocative and he was impressed by Aldo's liberalism. I can see them talking for hours about how the church has to progress and the benefit of learning about other point of views afterwards, with Aldo adding the usual "this is what Tedesco doesn't understand" and Thomas starting to fall asleep sweetily.

IV. First Reformed: again a suggestion from Aldo, who read about its premiere at the Venice Film Festival and had been eager to watch it with Thomas ever since. again, because catholicism is so very insular the idea of getting to take a peak at stories set in a protestant context can feel inherently interesting and in a way this is their equivalent of watching a really gritty movie so I can see them being very giddy about it. the eagerness dies down a little bit in the beginning and turns personal for Thomas very, very quickly. they watched it probably around summer 2018. I can see him holding a pillow or his vest throughout it. he cried at the end and thought Aldo didn't notice (he did because he cried too). I can see how this would be extremely cathartic for Thomas, reminding him of The Seventh Seal but this time it ends with his heart filled with love and he's glad he watched it with Aldo.

+ bellinibonus!

I'll keep my rationale short and simple for his: It's A Wonderful Life because of christmas nostalgia and a typical Bernie-like liberal representation of a strong sense of duty and standing your ground especially against those who want to control a system so they can keep it from moving forward and helping people (cof, cof). he loves All The President's Men and not just because Robert Redford is very cute and reminds him of Thomas but also because he loves some political drama. Some Like It Hot may seem bold but I'll stand by it. he doesn't recommend it in public obviously but he can quote it in his sleep. unlike Thomas he's more open to cinema for fun and not just for self-reflection. he loves the "nobody's perfect" line so much and smirks at the screen every time, maybe a bit teary-eyed. he wonders if some day he might convince Thomas to watch it with him. he loved the discussions he had with Thomas about First Reformed and I wanted them to having a matching film so I went with this one.

lawrellini extra:

I like to think they have been watching movies and docs for decades so the list of movies they've watched together is long but I can see them both really enjoying these two in recent watches.

[brw]

Ty and Tandy are in an interesting position where both of them are underdeveloped in different ways in their comics right now. Like, I've read their 1983 mini, their 1985 ongoing, their joint series with Dr Strange and now the Mutant Misadventures series, so I feel pretty confident in talking about this issue with them.

Tandy is underdeveloped because we never really dig into the meat of her personality. She is depicted as this ever-perfect golden child, an inherent beacon of purity and goodness, who hates crime, hates violence, but will also be righteously angry at the Right People. And there's something here asking to be deconstructed, but that hasn't happened yet. We've never been made to question her morality, never been made to question the righteousness of her fury. It's always directed at drug traffickers, child abusers, literal demons. She does not fail because she is incapable of it. She doesn't make mistakes, and she doesn't apologise because she has never done anything to warrant an apology. She's always very forgiving, maybe a little too trusting, and while again, there's enough substance there to deconstruct and analyse, it simply isn't done. She's perfect, and other than that, she isn't given much to be.

Ty, on the other hand, has a much more deep and nuanced personality. As Cloak, he is constantly wrestling with his own mortality; people constantly judge him unfairly and make the very worst assumptions of him because of their racism, and he seems to really internalise that and fear that what they say is true. His desire to be a good person and be an equal moral compass to Tandy is constantly at war with his sense of justice, his anger at what horrible actions people are committing. He is constantly worried about his own moral compass, his own ability to judge others, and he is constantly, constantly filled with fear that he is leeching off Dagger, that he takes and takes and takes while she only gives. Despite her seeing their partnership as an equal one, perhaps even sees things as Ty giving more to her than vice versa, Cloak is always struggling with his fear of using Tandy the way so many men in their lives have sought to use Tandy, and this is constantly warring with his love and desire for Tandy. He views his own wants and his own love that's born out of their connection as something evil and possessive, and every time he indulges in his desires he feels wrong for it.

And as Ty, not Cloak, he is constantly struggling with self-hatred, feeling like he isn't good enough because of his autism and learning disability, because of his stutter that makes it hard for him to communicate. He's always felt like an outsider to every community he's ever been a part of, because he's never been able to make connections in the same way because he's an autistic boy who stutters and again, has a learning disability that makes reading and writing difficult for him, and when he can't take to these the way Tandy can, he feels like he isn't good enough, and hates himself for it.

Ty has just a lot more substance to his character than Tandy does. He's brooding, complicated, is constantly thinking about his own mortality and his own sense of right and wrong, and really struggles with his self worth, because seemingly almost everyone he's ever known has told him he's worth nothing. He sees his own desires as monstrous, and yet can't help but indulge them, but the life situation he's in, the racism he faces, the internalised ableism in his own mind, his clear depression, they all keep him down and make him feel worse when he is happy, is enjoying himself. That's an interesting character! And of the two, he is the more grounded, more realistic, more tangible figure, and he's one I really really love.

But equally, we also know so much about Tandy that we don't know about Tyrone. Tandy is given multiple figures in her family, so we've really been given a very full portrait of where she's come from and what has happened to make her who she is. We spend multiple issues with her mother, who is neglectful and career driven and doesn't have any time for her daughter. She sees Tandy as attention seeking, embarrassing, and doesn't have a lot of care for her personal safety. Her step-father is one of the most reoccurring characters across all of the series' so far, who for a long time was the only person in Tandy's past who really cared about her, but equally was rejected by her because of her father leaving and getting various step fathers as her mother cycled through marriages. He wants to protect Tandy, but is clearly ill-equipped to do so, but even in his overprotective nature you under he very genuinely cares for her. He helps nurse her back to health, he moves across states to try and help her, and he repeatedly affirms that this is his daughter, who he loves, and he even divorces her mother due to her neglect, choosing Tandy, his daughter by circumstance, over the woman he married. We meet Tandy's uncle, a Catholic priest from Ireland, who is kind and tries his best to help, particularly when she is blinded. He seems to feel quite guilty over not being there for Tandy while she was growing up, and he's taking great cares to be more present now, and is one of her biggest confidants other than Ty. When she tells him of her struggles with her step-father being overprotective, he understands, and tries to help both her and him figure this out, and he's even the person to hire a therapist for Tandy to help her when she goes blind. And we get extensive moments of Tandy and her therapist together, and it all builds a very fleshed out picture of Tandy's life, her past and present, the people who are in her corner and are thinking about her.

Ty, by comparison, we know very little about. He apparently has a younger brother named Otis, and an unnamed younger sister, but we know nothing on his relationship with those two, and frankly they could be fabrications entirely. We know his parents struggled because he was autistic, but we don't have many details on what his upbringing looked like. The main thing we know about Ty's past is that his only friend was a victim of a police shooting, which Ty blames himself for because his stutter kept him from being able to tell the policeman that his friend wasn't responsible for the crime, but other than that, we don't really know much about him. We haven't so far met a single person from Ty's past, despite Tandy having at least 3, all of whom have enjoyed multiple issues across multiple writers and series'.

It's odd. I'm curious to see when the scales balance out, because it's becoming increasingly noticeable how oddly these decks are stacked.

[angelnumber27]

you are literally faking all of your “problems” for attention. I have bpd, past severe subst abuse problems, suicidal treatment resistant depression, abuse history and I’m not on here all ditzy posting kittens and tits, in fact my shit on here is disgusting and scary. No one with severe problems has a lil flower blog, just lying and begging 4 money making us REAL troubled ppl look fake as u are

So because I post images of kittens and tits I don’t have the mental illnesses I’ve been diagnosed with? Where’s the logic like this is the most absurd stupid thing I’ve heard in a while and it’s actually incredibly harmful to think like this.

I think maybe you should not be on this website or the internet at all if this is how you’re going to act

I hope you feel better bc this is not how you treat people 🖤 and this entire take in general is very very dumb

Here’s screenshots of my ongoing health conditions :) I cropped out a couple bc I felt like it lol

I’m sorry that I don’t solely post depressing negative shit. I don’t see a reason to do that. My goal here is to lift people up not tear them down. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever

You need help babe. Badly

[everything-transmasculine]

i just wanna pop in and yap on a topic that i initiatially wrote as a post, but am too afraid to post

___________

(based on a post from a transrasfem blog I've seen recently talking about transandrophobia)

___________

you people do realize that it's a very fucking weird thing to say that "trans men who still associate with femininity and their afab'ness are on their way to detransition and become TERF's"?

trans men still struggle with PCOS, trans men still stuggle with bad gynecologists, trans men still are affected by abortion laws, and saying that "well maybe you shouldn't care about abortion laws/feminism/insert something afab-esque affecting you because you just unnecessarily tie yourself to femininity, you are a man now, stop trying to get into womens spaces, if you want to get privelege from both sides so bad just go kys" IS STUPID AND HARMFUL and i hope i dont have to explain why

just imagine that you have this super insane condition that can kill you, disable you, make you blind, make you develop chronic pains, make your depression worse and etc etc (pregnancy) and the only ability to prevent it anyhow(abortion) is being stripped away from women, which ALSO affects you because of your anatomy, NOT because you are a detransitioner or "are secretly on your way to become a TERF", but when you bring it up, or say that saying that "imagine if men could get pregnant" is harmful to trans men, you are getting hit with a huge metallic hammer across the face a thousand times in a row, because howdareyou speak about something that affects cis women and tie it to yourself(are you a terf? are you a detrans in hiding? etc etc), you are a man now, you shouldn't even try to say that something can harm you or else you explode your nuts and die, you should solely focus your entire life's purpose on helping trans women and never caring about yourself

the problem is that trans women (and other amabs in general) don't really have the exact same problems that are tied to their anatomy that trans men do(imagine having ovarian cancer and being denied care for months if not more because you are a trans guy and a lot of gynos are uncomfortable with you, especially if you are on T and passing)

so i only suspect for them without knowing what PCOS is, it sounds like trans men unnecessary want to still secretly be women, which is wrong

anyways im tired of talking about it im gonna go sleep

i think i know what post youre talking about, anon, and ive actually been discussing it with my partner irl. the idea that transmasculine people are just one step away from detransitioning and becoming terfs at all times is… well, its transphobic to say the very least. theres no issue in having a relationship with your asab - i mean, i know i definitely have a complicated one myself! - but thats no reason to tell transmasculine people to stop caring about issues that still affect us. the reduction and removal of transmasculine people from reproductive healthcare is an ongoing struggle, and one that really isnt talked about enough.

however, i am going to push back against your groupings of transfeminine people and other people with male sexed anatomy (sorry for the weird language there, im trying to be as neutral as possible as to not be offensive) - the internal anatomy of the male sexed body often IS neglected and turned away similarly to transmasculine people. many proctologists and urologists refuse care to transfeminine people the same way gynecological care is refused to transmasculine people. its not an us vs them, but all of us vs the oppressive systems of healthcare in place that deny the most basic rights to non-cis (and non perisex) bodies. intersex people and trans people alike are often subjected to discrimination in the healthcare field, no matter whether they are transfeminine or transmasculine. i mean, i saw it plenty times myself when i worked in healthcare - they dont care about “what kind” of transgender you are, just that you ARE transgender, and that alone is enough to warrant discrimination.

[pastel-medic]

So, wait, if Axel is the Spy that Red Medic removed the head of, how are they in a relationship? Wouldn't that spawn some kind of resentment?

I'm going to trigger warn this post for topics of s//cide, depression, and poor health because I can't exactly explain their dynamic without getting into Axel's mental health. I tried to make this as brief as I could but it ended up becoming an oc ramble anyway 😭 sorry in advance for the long post!!!

Also please note my personal lore and hcs for them isn't strictly based on canon lore, so RED Medic having Axel's head in fridge is due to different reasons than just being a crazy doctor :V

You have been warned!!!

This will be delving a bit more into Axel's character, and a lot of this I will try not to spoil too much as it is a plot point in an ongoing fic I'm writing.

Axel is, to put it simply, someone who struggles immensely with self identity and has a very nihilistic point of view. Working as a Spy for years since he was young has created a sense of worthlessness in his mind, as he viewed himself as a nobody who wears the faces of other people (especially after an incident that I won't detail since it's spoilers). He hasn't been able to hold relationships because he constantly "changes his identity", adopting a new fake name and fake history with every new assignment he's given while leaving the people he once formed bonds with behind once his work is done.

On top of that the people who had taught him to be a Spy often compared him constantly to his brother Pierre (RED Spy), so he never felt like he was good enough. He developed depression when he was a young adult and hasn't been able to cope in healthy ways, which led to him having very poor health and malnutrition. Every time he was offered help and support he rejected it out of fear and ran away (metaphorically and literally), the folly of pride and the guilt of being a burden to someone else. He's had many s//cidal tendencies (a lot of Axel is split from my personal trauma so bear with me), and believed that if he were to just disappear one day nobody would notice. He's waiting, HOPING, that one day he can just disappear forever...

So when he's taken by the RED Medic as a mere head in a fridge imagine his confusion when the enemy doctor refuses to kill him immediately no matter what he says. "Kill me" he keeps saying. "Later" is the only response he gets. Yet the doctor doesn't ever seem to want to. At first Axel thinks it's because of scientific curiosity, and he'd be right at first, but that's not the real reason Medic keeps him around. As it turns out Ludwig has a slightly twisted and odd excuse for keeping him around.

Seeing the Spy in a state of self destruction and withering health hurts Ludwig as a medical professional. A doctor's duty to heal others is something that even with his crazy mind still remains true. He can't help but feel the need to heal this person, his own enemy, who has become nearly broken beyond repair. He wants to help the Spy, but his solution is pretty bizarre and unconventional. If he keeps the Spy around he can try to heal the brokenness in his mind. As a head in a fridge he can't run away from the help offered to him. He realizes he doesn't want to just heal the Spy, he wants to help him; He wants to give Axel that feeling of value in his life that he struggles to have. He wants to be the person who can save Axel no matter how insane his methods are, a Don Quixote.

He wants to help Spy live.

"You are not the masks you wear, nor are you a nobody without them. You are you. And you are important no matter what."

As foolish as this logic is it's effective, as it doesn't give Spy that door to escape to. Now he HAS to see the damage to himself. Though the longer Spy stays with the enemy Medic the more he can see that he isn't the only one who needs healing. Out of all the people Ludwig can heal, he doesn't seem to be able to want to heal himself. All of his struggles are private, and he keeps the pain hidden away behind closed doors. It seems Spy is not alone when it comes to blocking others out. Medic knows he has sins crawling up his back, yet he actively pretends the Devil on his shoulder isn't there. Yet the more he ignores his mental strain the more volatile and unstable it becomes. He cannot see the damage he is inflicting on himself, and Spy knows he will continue to turn a blind eye unless he sees the harm it is causing. Regardless of how crazy it is, he realizes he wants to help the doctor too.

Spy wants to be someone who can help Medic see his self worth, a mirror to show him that he is more than simply a healer for others.

"How can you help those around you if you refuse to help yourself? You are deserving of healing too."

TL;DR to reiterate one of my previous posts about my MedicSpy ship their dynamic has always been about healing and finding security and comfort in someone who cares about you. Yes they have their flaws and are not perfect by any means, but they uplift and support each other because they care.

[rohirric-hunter]

My headcanon is that Eowyn learned this story from Gandalf, but not until after the War of the Ring.

The implication I think is very much that Hera, after meeting Gandalf, got caught up in his ongoing investigation of Sauron -- presumably some of her many great deeds that Eowyn-as-the-narrator mentions at the beginning of the movie were in service of that goal. They might have ended up knowing each other fairly well.

Maybe Gandalf wanted to tell Eowyn stories of Hera, but that kind of story could only have hurt her while she was still depressed and suicidal. Dramatic retelling of a story where a woman goes out to duel her enemy in defense of Rohan's people, declares herself the bride of death, almost dies in service to her kingdom, and then doesn't even get remembered for it would have been. Not really the kind of thing Eowyn needed to hear.

Gandalf shows a lot of concern for Eowyn in the Houses of Healing. She's one of the sick people that he convinces Aragorn to enter the city for, and he has rather a lot to say to Eomer about the things that led Eowyn to that place. He probably kept tabs on her, as best he could, and checked to make sure she was recovering well. And when he was sure that she was in a healthier place, maybe he went to her and told her a story of another woman of Rohan that he knew once. Here's a piece of your history that's been forgotten. And it probably helped drive home the idea of deeds not being less valiant for being forgotten for her.

[gffa]

If Kenobi season 2 happens and they bring back Commander Cody, how do you think they should handle Obi-Wan and Cody storywise?

I'm so very on the fence about whether I would even want a second season of the show--the first season was never meant to be anything beyond a mini-series and I think having it be self-contained that way made it so much more satisfying. It wasn't meant to be an ongoing story like The Mandalorian is, and Ewan was just leaving the door open for any potential future stories. On the other hand, I WILL NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF EWAN'S OBI-WAN. For me, I think any potential second season needs to really feel like it has a point and feel sufficiently tied to Obi-Wan's core story if they're going to the effort of bringing all the actors back again. Which means: Anakin needs to be a central figure in it, even if I'm not sure how well that would work after that unnamed moon wrapped things up pretty well between them and Obi-Wan was where he needed to be for ANH. An Obi-Wan show needs to be centered on Obi-Wan's story. Versus that I think whatever Cody's storyline is, it needs to be about him, and not about someone else story. Which means I'm not sure how good I would feel about him being part of an Obi-Wan show, which would make his issues about Obi-Wan, meanwhile Obi-Wan's been more about Anakin and Luke and the Jedi. (Leia worked because she was about Anakin and Padme and Obi-Wan's connections to the Republic/Bail.) I would prefer Cody's story about what he does after leaving the Empire to be told elsewhere because I think Cody deserves to get that to himself. What I really want is a story that can fully focus on Rex and Cody meeting up again and maybe joining the Rebellion or working together to help other clones. There's some really potentially good, crunchy conflict to be had between Obi-Wan and Cody because of Utapau, and theoretically what I would love is if it could be tied into a story about rescuing Luke and some clones somehow, that they intersect for an episode or two, that it has this undercurrent of how well they worked together--and still do, they fall right back into seamlessly understanding each other and complementing each other's fighting styles--but that they're on different paths now. Obi-Wan has his sacred duty to watch over Anakin's son on Tatooine. Cody has his need to help his clone brothers or fight in the bigger Rebellion. Both important paths, but they part ways as friends again, maybe Obi-Wan can put him in touch with Bail to join the Rebellion proper. I would love to see Cody and Obi-Wan crossing paths again, conflict about what happened on Utapau, maybe that's how Obi-Wan finds out about the chips, Cody gets closure and can go on to fight against the Empire that oppressed him and his brothers, Obi-Wan is watching over Luke to ensure the galaxy has a future, and both of their core stories are respected, but there's resolution here. I'm not against cameos in Star Wars, I just want them to be used for emotional resolution, not because of Rule of Cool. This is why I thought the 501st trooper was perfect for the show, because it was part of the theme of Obi-Wan seeing Anakin's ghosts everywhere, that's why Leia worked so well for me in the show, because it was about Anakin's ghosts again, about the missing part of Obi-Wan as a Jedi who was a teacher, about the loss of Padme in the galaxy, about his duty to help the people of the Republic where he could versus his own crushing depression and trauma. Whatever role Cody would play on the show, I would want it to support the core of those same themes, while also respecting that Cody has his own story to be told. What I picture so clearly in my head is, post-fight scene where they've wiped the floor with whoever was coming after them, is just the two of them nodding at each other in understanding, that there are scars between them but they both can let it go now, Obi-Wan knows it wasn't a betrayal, Cody knows that Obi-Wan doesn't hold it against him, they both know the other has purpose in their life, and they each have regained a friend. The galaxy looks a little brighter after that.

[crippleprophet]

Is it okay for people with agoraphobia to look and take some of the advice you have for housebound people on here? I'm not really great at picking up nuance so I'm worried that it'd be crossing some boundary or that it's not the intention of the tag

that’s completely okay, i appreciate your desire to be respectful even though i’m sorry you were concerned! i absolutely consider folks with agoraphobia my comrades + community members and i’d be super honored if anything i’ve shared is helpful (+ am always interested in hearing what that was if you’re comfortable!) the rest of this is not anything you need to answer your question, just thoughts i’ve been having on the subject

i haven’t had the opportunity to talk to enough homebound [due to chronic illness / “physical” reasons] people to know if this is a common experience but for me i’ve noticed that similar to chronic illness often carrying depression with it, since becoming homebound i’ve become terrified of leaving the house.

this is definitely influenced by the fact that it’s untenably painful, my photosensitivity (in the UV sense not the epilepsy sense), the ongoing pandemic, the fact that i only left the house to go to the doctor for over a year & i’m afraid of the doctors appointment itself due to medical trauma, etc etc but like. there’s also the very strong pull of habit – i’m an incredibly obsessive & ritualistic person – and what Goffman refers to as “the relief of self-isolation” for marginalized people sheltering from a hostile society, a phrase i read in undergrad 5 1/2 years ago that’s stuck with me ever since for how profoundly it resonates.

i’m not trying to say these are necessarily your or any other person with agoraphobia’s feelings & experiences, more to illustrate how the liberation of all homebound people & shut-ins & hermits is bound up together; any sanist strategy for oppressing agoraphobes can easily be leveraged against me, not least because as a severely underdiagnosed person, the medical establishment does not think there is any “legitimate” “physical” reason for me to be homebound. to respond to this oppression by arguing it’s inapplicable because i’m not crazy would be untrue + a cruel act of lateral violence.

i’ve been reading a lot of butch/femme history recently (i post about that on my main @campgender; followers age 18+ only please) & have found myself entirely reconfiguring my understanding of the queer art of isolation, the incredible ability of our ancestors to hunker down & survive under circumstances unimaginable to the average person. i absolutely don’t want to deny the deep pain – not only the aspects i experience but also the heightened isolation of people without or before internet access + the ways these circumstances / forms of oppression can foster abuse –

but my god, so many 50s butches didn’t leave their homes during daylight hours for years in order to not be hate crimed for their gender presentation, & that’s the folks who were making it to the bars. so many others – “discreet” couples who didn’t want to risk being outed by engaging in queer community; people assigned female who “passed” as men & their partners; butch sex workers & other people with identities perceived as contradictory or unacceptable – existed marginalized by both queer & normative communities.

every time i think substantially about homeboundedness i always get tracy chapman’s “subcity” stuck in my head. obviously my access to housing period is a huge position of privilege, & i’m in the most economically secure position of my adult life so far; the abjection i experience is nowhere near the scale of people in the position of the speaker of the song, who’s implied to be street homeless. but the line “people say it doesn’t exist ‘cause no one would like to admit that there is a city underground” is such a succinct & accurate depiction of living the kind of life society tries to convince itself is impossible. but there truly is a rich genealogy of homeboundedness especially in queer history.

again i hope some of my posts & such are helpful / resonant! wishing you all the best 💓💓

[theshypinkflower]

JACK!!! I love your version so much. He's so cute I just want to rub my face against his chest hair and pubes! Sorry (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ ).. Got excited! But... I wanna ask if you have any specific sfw / NSFW hcs about him especially the icky ones with his whole necrophilia thing (｡>﹏<｡)

OMG YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I AM TO SHARE JACK HCS he took forever for me to rewrite. Idk how but like necro with Lawrence is an experience, but necro with Jack is not enjoyable. Like they’re both doing a gross thing but Jack makes me cringe about it.

Anyways!

SFW:

-Sooooo in love with his wife (I rewrote his lore so it’s not MC it’s actually a woman). Would do anything for her (in fact he does since she can’t move), in fact it’s borderline obsession the way he keeps her in the basement

-Somewhere in the basements there’s acid strong enough to melt your flesh but not your bones! There’s also a bathtub, a drain, and a bed

-He still has the tuxedo from his wedding day!

-Despite his wife being dead, he still wears his wedding ring

-Has a PhD in psychology, so technically you refer to him as DOCTOR Buchanan

-Still a professor at a university, Sano is his favorite student! Sano literally is just like the best in his class and always seems invested in his lectures

-His favorite book is Metamorphis by Kafka, his second favorite is Crime and Punishment

-Professional gaslighter, bro knows your brain better than you

-He still goes down to the basement to visit his wife. Lays in the bed and cuddles her, he even talks to her like she’s listening

-Old literature enthusiast

-Writes texts like he’s writing an essay. With capitalization and punctuation

-Blind if he doesn’t have glasses, seriously his lenses are THICK

-Really exhibits some obsessive behaviors outside of his wife, at least when she first dies. Like at work he doesn’t want anyone touching his things, and he seems a little too invested in the school’s lab operation hours. You guess what blonde starts raising brows at his behaviors…

NSFW:

-He’s a switch! Usually does dom, but he likes being sub too!

-Mostly dates people so he can that semblance of his wife again. He’ll slowly change you into doing something with your hair or wearing contacts so that it feels like his corpse bride is once more alive

-Still, nothing replaces that feeling of something being so cold and stiff. At first he did it cause he was depressed and was grieving, but now he just can’t stop

-The feeling of cold skin and that sickly pale look is just what gets him going, it reminds him of when he first done it. All sobbing and apologizing to his wife, saying he just missed her so much. He thinks that even a corpse has beauty to it

-So good at oral its a shame he fucks dead people

-Has a huge bride fetish. Like seriously. He gets bridal magazines just so he can look at the dresses and lingerie and get a hard on. It’s like a teenage boy using a mundane magazine like it’s a playboy. If you’re gonna wear anything to impress him, it best be in white

-Clinger. Bro is wrapping his arms around you like a koala and he ain’t letting up until it’s over

-Unfortunately finding about his skeleton wife is automatic death. In fact it’d be one of the few times you witness bro crash out

-Usually grinds against his corpse bride or uses a fleshlight with her

-Very gentle sex guy. He wants to appreciate feeling everything during it. The way your breathing picks up, the way you throw your head back.

-It’s not that Jack can’t have sex with living people (in fact sometimes he wants it)m it’s just corpses help with his ongoing grief

[ldysmfrst]

American Mate (13) - Shall We? (TEASER)

Paring: Hybrid!BTS Ot7 x Plus-sized Human FemReader

Status: Ongoing series

Chapter number: 13 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 9,681

Work count for Story: 96,460

Genre: Hybrid Playmate Au inspired by works created by @yoongiofmine

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs, and the other loves everyone. I started a Patreon, and I would be grateful if you donated to help me make ends meet while I am out of work.

Warnings: NOT BETA READ!! This chapter does have pack dynamics, possessiveness, history of abuse discussed (bring tissue box), jealousy, forced interactions (phone/in person), and self-doubt.

BTS HYBRID ANIMAL TYPES: Seokjin - Roan Ferret, Yoongi - Black Jaguar, Hoseok - Marten, Namjoon - Alaskan Timber Wolf, Jimin - Red Panda, Taehyung - White Southwest African Tiger, Jungkook - Flemish Giant Rabbit

AMERICAN MATE MASTER LIST / LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

Knockknockknock

Startling you out of your depressing thoughts, you call out, “Who is it? I am in the bath still.”

“Ma’am, I am Bethan Ann, Omegan Alaskan Bear Hybrid and head of the preparation team. Prime Alpha Kim sent us to get you ready for the Gala. Whenever you are ready, please come out,” calls a sweet voice.

“Oh, is it really that time already?” you comment.

“Yes, ma’am but no worries, we have plenty of time. Prime Alpha Kim stressed the importance of going at your pace to ensure your relaxation,” Bethany Ann informs. “We will wait for you in the living room.”

You think whelp time for solitude is over as you climb out of the bath and dry off. You have to remember that in the future, you can ask the boys for anything, even alone time. They have told you that, and so has their manager, Sejin. 

After slipping on Namjoon’s robe, you cannot help but smile as the scent of leather blends with the vanilla from your bath. Surprisingly, it is a delightful mix. The vanilla softens the leather, offering comfort and a sense of safety. 

Namjoon is the leather boy of the group. Being a Prime Alpha, it makes sense that his scent is naturally stronger. It makes it easier for him to leave his scent behind as a show of possession and territory.

Walking out of the bathroom, a blush settles over your cheeks at the thought of having the Alaskan Timber Wolf hybrid claim possession over you. 

“Ma’am?” asks a younger woman standing at your doorway. “If you please, would you follow me to the living room? Bethany Ann thought that it would be easier for the Alphas of the house to watch you from there without being in the way.”

“Sure, but you won’t have to worry about them. Jimin and Yoongi know to stay out of the area,” you mention, following behind her.

“True, I believe it was the two of them that may have dragged the third one away,” she giggles.

“Oh? Third one? Jungkook?” Your confusion is showing.

“Ah yes, he wasn’t happy with Bethany Ann being present since she is of hybrid descent,” the young lady smiled softly. “He was worried about scent tainting, but Miss Bethany Ann doesn’t have any scent glands.”

“Yep, I was born with them but they weren’t very strong. My mother was human, and my father was a hybrid, which means I only got the smaller scent glands, fluffy hair, body structure, and strange sleeping habits,” Bethany Ann says as she joins the conversation. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that traits would pass down like that,” you say in awe. 

“There are more hybrid mixed humans out there than people are aware of. Many end up losing their physical animal features but keep some of the other behavioral or physical traits.” Bethany Ann smiles.

“How can you not have a scent but you have scent glands?”

Bethany Ann’s smile falters, but before you can withdraw your question, she says, “Bears have glands in either their hands or feet.  I ended up with skin cancer that spread to the scent glands in my feet. I was lucky enough that we caught it and removed the infected tissues before it got any farther.”

“Anyways, we are here to turn you from the pretty woman you already are into a gorgeous princess ready for her ball right?” Bethan Ann says as she has you sit in a salon chair. 

Everything before you that is set up on the vanity before you look brand new: makeup, jewelry, and hair pieces. Bethany Ann is the principal stylist and has two human assistants: Cindy and Kat. 

Bethany Ann oversees your makeup, Cindy works on your hair, and Kat deals with your nails. Soon enough, the three of you laugh, and it feels like you have known them for years. 

You learn that Bethany Ann met Cindy and Kat, a mom-and-kid duo rocking the Cosmetic industry, during BTS’s Love Yourself World Tour. They were set to go on the Map of the Soul tour, which got canceled. However, they got along so well and had an equal love for Ateez that they made their own line of cosmetics called MayNell.

You notice a purple, white, and silver trend in all of the choices. “I take it my dress is purple or white?”

“Ah, well we have a few choices for you that are either purple, white, silver, or black. Namjoon already has his suit ready and we will match his accessories to the color of your dress,” Bethany Ann informs you.

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