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#i think it’s like 1/4 of the way done
bad-surprise · 1 year
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i am so fucking worn out y’all and feeling sad but i did a little promptfill from the next chapter of but i thought you might and forgot to share it here.
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uncanny-tranny · 11 months
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Another bonus to learning a fiber art is being able to speak to others in a Lovecraftian language that nobody else understands...
...and also being able to read things like THIS:
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fbfh · 30 days
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Hey! Could you please do some headcannons of cuddling with Jay from descendants?
Thank you!
oh fuck yes baby boy NEEDS a snuggle so fuckin bad. Jay is SO motherfucking - his full name is Janasheen Lagmani Mufti btw (successor, born at nightfall, one who gives council or legal advice) - Jay is SO motherfuckin touch starved that he'll get injured on purpose just so he can feel you touch him up. After a while you start to catch onto this because you don't have the heart to tell him he's not quite as slick as he thinks he is. So OBVIOUSLY I have a medieval game OBVIOUSLY I have a jousting game the only way you're gonna get him to turn into your snuggly lil bunbun (yes he does insist you call him that after you say it once as a joke and he loses his mind) is to make him think YOU'RE really the one who needs cuddles. like of course you're feeling kinda sad and tired from all your schoolwork so of COURSE you need a big strong tough cool guy star of the tourney team to make you feel all safe and cozy. obviously it's TOTALLY for your benefit. not at all because Jay was not hugged once as a child! that's hilarious and true and totally not the reason at all! I just washed my hands that's why they're wet! no other reason!
but yeah once you actually start cuddling with him it's going to take approximately less that six seconds for him to become a total and complete velcro boyfriend. it takes longer to watch any vine in existance than it does for Jay to latch onto you like a small baby bird. he did not know that touchy feely stuff could be so... nice. especially when it's with you. he tried giving Carlos and Evie and Mal bear hugs between classes when he's away from you and it was good, but it wasn't the same. Maybe it's because Carlos still thinks he's going to get suplexed whenever Jay grabs him like that or maybe it's because Mal keeps asking if he huffed her spraypaint and that's why he's so huggy out of nowhere (Evie doesn't mind too much as long as he doesn't wrinkle her outfits or mess with her hair and makeup. she actually approves of you two and likes that you're bringing out Jay's more affectionate side. she makes a mental note to give you the friends and family discount on any future designs you order from her.) but shortly after that first time you snuggled up with Jay and had him tell you all about the video games he's been playing and about tourney practice he's full on addicted to your touch and cuddles. Coach sometimes has to pull you off your extra curriculars to give Jay hugs and kisses during practice when he cops an attitude or gets too rowdy. you're known as the Jay whisperer immediately and believe me the nickname sticks. Carlos asks what the hype is once and you give him head scratches and he understands.
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bonefall · 10 months
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As a big sibling with a lil sib with epilepsy, when they read TBC they Honestly thought if they got struck with lightning reciting the lord's prayer they'd be cured like Shadowsight is from their epilepsy. I had a discussion with them on how that's not how it works, but ge was so upset they took it away from Shadowsight that he hasn't picked the books back up and has stated that 'he hopes Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.,'
I do not even know how to respond to this besides saying that your little sibling is 100% right to be pissed and I now also hope Ashfur wins and starts a new religion.
#Legit I did not know that Shadow's epilepsy being taken away was so deeply upsetting to SO MANY people#I put it back because putting it back was just the right thing to do (even asked the small following I had at the time what type to portray#(they picked the full tonic-clonics. I would have just done localized or absence if they'd asked me to)#And I did all that research for one single anon who asked for an epilepsy herb guide#So holy cow I didn't know that SO MANY people were snubbed and upset by canon's choice to do that. I'm so sorry#Your little sib isn't missing anything btw they do just go on to confirm that Shadow no longer has seizures.#In book 4 of TBC they say that it was all Ash all along and that's what they've stuck with into ASC#I'm sitting on an essay about... That plot thread. The Ashfur Grooming one#But it's in my drafts because I was a bit afraid of controversy#because i think it was written poorly. Even on top of Book 4's pivot to retcon away Shadow's seizures#I know a lot of people like and are invested in the grooming subplot of TBC. But. I think it was executed AWFULLY#and its really telling that THIS is the plot they tout as grooming *by name* in-canon.--#--and that Shadow has to 'pay' for what he 'did' in some way as if there was ever a choice in the books they wrote--#--But seemingly didn't even seem to clock that what was happening in Spotted's H was grooming until there was intense backlash#and a big part of my contention is the way that Book 4 suddenly tries to retcon that Shadow was groomed from the time he was a child#when it was actually part of book 1 that Shadow was able to personally tell the difference between a real vision and Ash's suggestions--#--BECAUSE he didn't have an accompanying seizure#So like... just know it's also NOT just 'you' if you connected to the character that was epileptic. It WAS there. It was a BIG part of him#Book 4 retconned it so that his epilepsy was part of a long scheme when before that point it was part of him#''ohh ur destiny is to see into the shadows'' BULL SHIT!!#bone babble
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coquelicoq · 1 year
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crashes ur board meeting n drags u out by the collar but its fine bc youre the one always saying shit like "im looking for people i can use" ok lol. get used idiot
#just tracing like. the sequence of events that had to take place in order for this to come to pass#1. natori and his shiki are skulking around homura stalking ban. possibly it's just his shiki and natori is elsewhere.#either way 2. natsume shows up and natori learns about it either bc he witnesses it or a shiki comes to tell him#3. natori gets in his little richard scarry apple car (this is my mental image for some reason) & fucking. BOOKS IT to the matoba compound#4. goes inside. presumably matoba lackeys try to stop him bc their boss is in an important meeting but somehow he gets past them#(possibilities here are v fun to think about. maybe natori does this all the time and they're used to it. maybe he's never done it before#but they're all on orders to let natori in if he ever shows up. maybe natori convinces them he's supposed to be IN the meeting#which is great because it sounds like some important clan thing so what is he in the clan now??)#5. interrupts matoba's meeting like 'i need you' and matoba's like 'bye everyone whatever this is is more important'#6. they get in natori's comical apple car (again the apple car is not canon don't worry about it)#& natori drives like a bat out of hell back to homura. (SOURCE: matoba is so scarred he refuses natori's offer for a ride later)#i wonder what they talk about on the way there? because they don't talk about why natori is stalking ban until much later#so they must be busy talking about something else. but what??#that or they're both too distracted by all the near-death experiences from natori's crazed driving lol#natsume's book of friends#natsume yuujinchou#homura cats arc#horrible exorcists#my posts#sidenote i feel like that page at the end where both matoba and sensei refuse natori's offers of a ride is really funny because#sensei's reason is that it will take too long. but sensei did you know natori drives like a speed demon? think it thru...#also like. how long did it take him to decide to involve matoba? was that his backup plan all along?#also it's pretty lucky that he found matoba at all considering he could be anywhere...the matoba have like 15 houses...#he has matoba's schedule memorized lol#natori sparkling to the assorted clan members in the meeting: sorry ladies and gentlemen i just need to borrow this~#*throws matoba over his shoulder and fireman-carries him to the parking lot*
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worstloki · 5 months
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saw someone on twitter say "one of the main characters in a loki show should have been thor odinson, not some random Sylvie or Mobius.
...... It's like a written law"
wdyt do you agree
I don't think it was necessary to make Thor a main character in a Loki show, the same way it WOULD be possible to throw together a Thor movie without having Loki be a main focus.
The issue comes in the quality of the narrative itself, and writing that if evidently without intention to care for (whichever) main character's importance will not work out. Neither the Loki series nor Thor 4 cared about the arc, motivations, history, or continuity of the titular characters beyond trying to make the media marketable.
Overall messaging can add a layer to the impact a story will have. Musical score can be a bonus way to control tone or tie a story together. Supporting cast can be vital to tell a good story. Prioritising their presence over anyone's (especially Loki's) characterisation is what the Loki series suffered from, not that other, original-adjacent characters were there.
#i'd say it was tell not show but frankly the plotline was so poorly done i don't think showing would have helped#it would have solidified the side characters better though#if they had put effort into characterising Loki right then poorly done side characters could've been a non-issue#messing up the main characters which are supposed to be part of a continuity is the number 1 issue#not managing the screen-time well was the number 2 issue#too much time wasted setting up characters that were going to monologue about their importance anyway??#too much time spent trying to establish the TVA as something important and controlling but somehow good#so much could have been cut out of the show and still gotten all that across#the relationships people built did so in like 2 days in-universe iirc so i wouldn't call them solid#season 1 was a useless introductory setup for the multiverse that didn't have any impact because there were like 4 other setups#scrap the characterisation and call it a reboot and it still threw Loki out as a weak and completely conventional protagonist#that's not engaging when every other character is also boring overall#even if their concepts weren't boring the way it was done was#The Loki Show#i can't be bothered thinking about the show because there's just so much#where would one start#i don't care enough about it to hate the show but i did find the fight choreography lacking too#the camera angles and general videography wasn't good#i have the same complaints about the choreography with every other disney+ show they put out#not even bothered with the MCU frankly#i'm happy to pretend the movies stopped after phase 2
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cerealmonster15 · 3 months
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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solar-halos · 2 months
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i’m coming for another one of yall this mood board monday. this one is for you and me on the rock by @the-sun-and-the-sea
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#now you’re just gonna have to hear me out on this#this fic had a lot of soft and romantic imagery but since im relying on the internet i picked a lot of pics based on vibes#for example for the first pic (top left corner) there’s obviously not an aesthetic for making wedding nets so i went w the wedding dance#so i could ref the convo they had about marriage#then the next pic is a ref to their lil dinner date… there’s no dinner (just flowers) cos i couldn’t fit it in all in the frame 😔#the next pic is also vibe based it’s just to capture how silly they get#cos there’s a scene where finnick puts on a capitol accent and annie is like whatever! (in a silly way)#next pic is to 1) emulate the sunset vibes 2) a nod to them running AROUND when finnicks prep team goes to 4#ik this pic is obviously not that sorta frantic vibe at all but remember it was me and pinterest against the world#next pic is a reference to annie being comfty and cozy w finnick and being in his bed reading her books#next pic: sunset imagery + them cuddling. next pic: reference to annie’s frizz. next pic: canon odesta wedding cos of the very last scene#next pic: ok i just think this one emulates odesta’s vibe in this story and other stories by miss mdr#like the way they’re wrapped around each other and looking at the ocean#next pic: all the sea glass jewelry options were UGLY so i just had to rely on beachy jewelry imagery to ref the lovers day scene. sorryy#next pic: annies stuff in finnicks room <3 like her books and mirror and stuff#ok i’m done going ham in the tags but again i needed to explain myself since SO many of these were just based on a vibe of a vibe#mood board monday#odesta#annie cresta
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cathodic-clairvoyant · 4 months
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There's a lot about discussion of hdwr that baffles me (not all discussion to be clear, because i do think there's a lot of good discussion about hdwr. But equally so are there the ones that make you wonder if you're reading the same story) and I think one that is especially annoying is the constant infantilization of miwa as this passive eternal victim. It drives me up a wall because this is quite literally an issue she's struggled with within the text of the story! She had an arc about how she dislikes how people treat her this way like towards the beginning of the story! And like even ignoring that, this story is about like nuanced and realistic portrayals of being in relationships and learning how to navigate them and so it's like what's the point if you're going to immediately reduce the characters to "the victim" and "the victimizers?" Is that even interesting? Is that a useful lens to look at interpersonal relationships?
#how do we relationship#hdwr#this is about the poll in the subreddit but i also saw similar comments (mostly about sae) on the website i was initially reading hdwr#i dunno like i'm like miwa fan numero uno so like i get ardently defending her but in my opinion#part of what makes these characters interesting is that all of them are extremely flawed in ways that can negatively feedback on each other#miwa has also done bad things to the other characters and been bad for them as well#i do think miwa repeatedly trying to turn being fwb with sae into a second chance despite sae clearly saying no#and repeatedly breaking sae's boundaries during that time was bad and shitty of her#i do think her avoiding tamaki and trying to supress her feelings despite that not being what tamaki asked for or wanted was bad andimmature#i do think that while miwa was under no obligation to say it to her i do think miwa's inability to tell sae that she loved her#even while asking to get back together was undeniably bad for sae as someone who had insecurities about being loved#personally these things are not unfortunate irredeemable aspects of her character#nor do they justify or excuse what happens to her#but instead characterize her as being inexperienced with romance and having strong feelings she isn't always able to completely express#or understand fully. this is an aspect of her character that is relateable and understandable to me#i find it hard to say that if i was in her position i wouldn't make the same mistakes as her#and like this is just one aspect of miwa's character. she of course has more than this which is why i am miwa fan numero uno but also#the same is true for like all of the main cast#they have depth and flaws that are relateable and realistic. even if you don't like a character's actions they're internally consistent#within not only the character themselves and the context of what they've been through but also the narrative itself i feel#which is why i like this story#so it feels unfortunate to flatten that all into who hurt who more or who is innocent and who is evil or whatever#like yes i obviously do think what sae did in like volume 5 was bad i also think what she did in vol 1-4 were also various shades of bad too#yes i do think what tamaki did in 103 was obviously bad#i mean ch. 119 and ch. 120 most likely are about exploring the consequences that has had on miwa#i just don't think it's useful interesting or even correct to look at those events as 'bad people doing bad things'#also while not related to miwa i think people who treat yuria and sae's relationship this way also baffle me i cannot understand it#channel 3
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I hate when I get into these phases when once I process through one thing causing me anxiety there's another thing right behind it
#we've moved on to ye olde ''what if i have repressed memories and horrible things have happened that I don't remember''#which...#like...#to some degree you have to go with a schrodinger answer. like... it's inherently not true#but the weird part is that I have weird anxiety when I think about certain family members bc of this#but when I'm actually around them it's no more uncomfortable than any family member you're not around often#so I'm like OH NO WHAT IF SAID FAMILY MEMBER WHO I HAVEN'T SEEN IN YEARS DID SOMETHING TO ME#BUT I REPRESSED IT#and like... a what if is just a what if. do I believe it? no. do I fixate on it and get wildly afraid? sometimes#also it's not even consistent sometimes I'm like ah yes family member I haven't seen in ages I wonder what he's up to#and then other times it's like I'VE HEARD SO MANY STORIES OF FAMILY MEMBERS RAPING THEIR NIECES AND STUFF#WHAT IF THAT HAPPENED TO ME#actually I feel like watching law and order SVU made a lot of these anxieties worse like that's part of why I stopped watching it#bc it exacerbates a lot of anxiety my mind tries to throw at me#anyway I do not actually think any family member has done anything and I don't actually believe I have repressed memories#or else I would have probably brought it up to my parents. I'm still like ''ooogh anxiety monster what if?'' about it tho#which is why we have philippians 4:8!! is is true? categorically due to being a ''what if'' anxiety — nope!! okiedoke moving on#k I just needed to talk through this I'm done now#*I'm barely any more uncomfortable than with any family member I haven't seen in a long time#(tbf I'm generally less comfortable with my dad's family bc 1) no female relatives other than grandma and 2) I see them way less often)
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Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...
#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random#internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too#just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc.#My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates'#and 'worst roomates' would be the least common#very long also since I like to be thorough I guess#THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more#likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous#people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc.#(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic#lol... I need a peaceful quiet household)#Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site#before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0#The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a#''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers#to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc.#But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers#that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category#then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the#'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization#and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that#there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal#'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc.#BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz#for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something#now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm....#(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)
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skrunksthatwunk · 9 months
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yakuza: dead souls - american vibes, bigass guns, and why zombies are super weird to have in ryu ga gotoku thematically/ideologically speaking
so i've been playing dead souls recently (hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah) and although i'm having the time of my life with it, there was something about it that kinda felt off to me, and i think i've figured out what it was, but i'm gonna have to walk you through a bit of my thought process to get there.
my first instinct was that it felt... american? and upon further examination i think that boils down to a couple of things:
everyone suddenly has lots of guns and also way way bigger guns
high emphasis on individual heroism (this itself is quite typical for rgg, but it manifests differently here; more on that in a bit)
military/government incompetence, which must be solved by the right individuals having the biggest and bestest guns
[for the sake of transparency i will note that my experience with zombie media is pretty limited and skews american (and i myself am american), so that may create bias. however, the 'this feels american to me' instinct is a rare one for me even in genres where i have seen little/no non-american media, so i think the fact that it did occur to me is notable. what about dead souls triggered that response when little else has? that's why i examined it and, truthfully, i think there's merit in the idea itself.]
the first point is pretty self-explanatory. america's got more guns than it does people, and its gun worship is infamous. japan's ban on guns (aided by its being an island state) means there's far fewer guns in the country, as well as far fewer people with guns (and likely far fewer guns per gun owner, excepting arms dealers/smugglers) than somewhere without such a ban. obviously, there are guns anyway. due to their illegality they are clustered within the criminal population, which explains their presence within organized crime within the series. very few guns will be sitting around in the homes of otherwise law-abiding citizens.
and yet, when the zombie outbreak hits kamurocho, plenty of civilians suddenly have access to quite an arsenal. everyone has the knowledge they need to aim, fire, and reload smoothly and quickly; ammo is infinite for certain guns. characters we've never seen using firearms before suddenly have shotguns under their couches (looking at you, majima). it's not only very different from reality, it's very different from guns' place within the series up until this point, when they were limited weapons used primarily by the enemy.
and they're making a zombie shooter, so of course they would have to do this. it has to be unrealistic to be simultaneously in this setting and in this genre, in the same way that yakuza solving their problems with bareback fistfights instead of guns is itself both unrealistic and necessary to being the kinds of games rgg are.
my point is that this is a kind of focus on and valorization of gun ownership and competency unusual for the series and setting. further, it serves as an argument for why an armed, competent populace is crucial typical in american media.
which brings us to the third point (we'll get to 2 in a minute). guns are often marketed as self-defense weapons. the implication is that the government's defense of the individual (via law enforcement or the military, but particularly the former), are insufficient. this is objectively true. if someone pulls a gun on you at the gas station, will a cop manifest out of thin air to intercede? no. that's impossible. but if you have a gun, or if some bystander has a gun, you or they may be able to do something with that gun to stop the armed person. thus, there is an undeniable gap in the effective immediacy of such responses.
many gun advocates also point to the incompetence or insufficiency of law enforcement, even when they are present to stop an armed aggressor. the fact that law enforcement do not have a 100% success rate in protecting the citizenry is also objectively true.
so, when you are in danger, arming yourself increases your chances of being able to put down (or at least take armed action against) a present or potential threat. whether it is viewed it as a supplement to or a replacement for law enforcement, it is meant to make up for the shortcomings of the government's ability to completely protect all its citizens. it's a safety net for state failure.
back to dead souls. rgg has always centered political corruption in its stories, including politicians, the police, and sometimes even the military, though usually the former two. sometimes this is treated sympathetically (i.e. tanimura, a dirty cop, whose dirty-cop-ness allows him to work outside/against the law to help disadvantaged people, not unlike how kiryu views being a yakuza), and other times it's simply a matter of greed or lust for power (i.e. jingu).
however, something that's almost never touched on so clearly is government incompetence. when the government fails to help people or hurts them or does corrupt things, it's usually due to a competent, malicious bad apple who is removed from power by the end of the game. this implies holes in the system because it keeps happening all the time, but that's on a series-wide scale, a pattern ignored by the series in favor of the individual game solution of "this guy's gone now :) yay".
but in dead souls, the SDF's barracades fall, their men are killed, they are unable to help protect the people outside or inside the quarantine zone. they are weak in a way the government usually isn't in these games. and who is stronger than them? our individual good guys with guns. so we need to be armed because the government is weak and can't protect us. boom. america.
returning to point 2, i'd like to say that dead souls is not particularly more individualistic than any of the other games in the series (other than, perhaps, y7). rgg is an incredibly individualistic series, actually. its protagonists are usually men who defy, oppose, and skirt around the law as a way of helping others and doing what is truly right (with a few exceptions, like shinada and haruka). the romanticized view of the yakuza as a force for helping the community in the face of government incompetence is a real one, and one that tends to manifest itself most in kiryu and how the series treats him. it shows us yakuza who aren't willing to kill, yakuza who cry about honor and justice and humanity and brotherhood, yakuza who never dip their hands into less palatable crimes, or only do with intense regret (and only ever as part of their backstory). the beat-em-up style emphasizes this as well. i mean, what's more individualistic than a one-man army?
put more clearly, this series is about men defying legal and social laws and expectations to live in a way that feels right to them, and about making themselves strong enough to combat those who would get in their way. the individual is placed before the society in importance, (though generally in a way that benefits the community, because they are good guys who want to use that agency and power for good).
all of this is true in dead souls as well, technically. those who live on the outskirts of society are the ones who actually save the day, and the ones who go in there and save people rather than just walling them off and pretending like they don't exist. they have the guns, which are illegal and mark them as criminals, but this broken law is what gives them the power to save themselves when the government will not, and to save their community if they so choose.
where dead souls differs is in the nature of that strength.
rgg places a lot of emphasis on self-improvement, both of one's body and of one's character. do both of these, and you will be strong enough to back up your ambitions. what allows someone to carve their own path in life is the ability to put down ideological and physical resistance by having resolve and the ability to tiger drop whoever won't be swayed by your impassioned speeches. you make yourself a weapon. you make yourself strong. in dead souls, that strength comes from an external, material possession. strength is something you buy (or that you take from someone else). who is able to survive the apocalypse comes not from the heart, nor from rigorous training, but from who has the most, the biggest, and the most bestest guns. it's an intersection of capitalism, militarization, and individualism. simply, deeply american.
[when i was talking myself through this a few days ago, i spent a lot more time on the capitalism + individualism stuff, but i think i'll keep this moving. consider this aside the intermission]
dead souls also differs for a few other interlocking reasons. it can be described with this equation:
zombification of enemies + lethality of guns = loss of emphasis on redemption
if your best friend turned into a zombie, could you shoot them? or your child? or your lover? it's a common trope, but it's a damn good one. watching your family, your neighbors, your town, everyone turn into a husk of themselves, something that looks like them but cannot be reached, is deeply tragic. it's even more tragic when these husks are trying to kill you. unable to be reasoned with and unable to be cured, you must incapacitate them before someone innocent is hurt--or hurt, then themselves made dangerous; each loss adds to the number of threats surrounding you. your life is seen as more valuable than that of your zombified friend, not only because the zombie is attacking you and it's self defense, but because they are no longer a person to you. to be a zombie is to no longer be human; zombification is dehumanization.
and so in a series so focused on connection with one's community, on saving innocent civilians, often on saving kamurocho specifically, one would expect similar tropes to occur. even if one's friends aren't turned, perhaps the cashier at poppo you chat with sometimes is. it's the destruction of that community and of the members one has tertiary relationships with that i expect would occur most within a kamurocho zombie story, since they are likely unwilling to axe anyone more important than that, even if dead souls isn't canon. i'd especially expect to see that in the beginning, before the need to kill zombies rather than contain or redeem them becomes apparent.
this does not happen.
i cannot speak for the entire game, but i can speak of gameplay choices that affect this, and ones i think will not be subverted throughout, even if they are somewhat contradicted by plot events i am presently unaware of.
kamurocho is not a community to protect, nor is it filled with your fellows. it is a playground filled with infinitely respawning, infinitely mow-downable, infinitely disposable zombies. you are meant and encouraged to kill them by the thousands, and never to hesitate or consider whether they may be cured or who may be mourning them. who may be unable to identify their loved one because you were trying to reach a headshot goal from hasegawa. you are not meant to consider them as human, nor beings that were once human, nor beings that could be human again, in the eyes of the zombie shooter. they are merely bodies, targets, and obstacles.
the zombies are contrasted with the true humans, those barricading themselves within the quarantine zone or those living in ignorance outside it. humans are meant to be saved, zombies are meant to be killed. the player character is the only one who can truly help with either of these goals, because the other humans are cowardly, ignorant, or unarmed/helpless. you must be their savior. to be a savior is to eliminate zombies, who are less than human.
the black and white nature of this is also emphasized by another gameplay characteristic: the lack of street encounters. when you traverse the peaceful parts of kamurocho, you are never attacked. you are also never directly attacked by the humans within the quarantine zone. kamurocho feels very different without its muggers and hooligans, but it's because this is a zombie shooter, not a beat-em-up. in a normal rgg title, you'd subdue threats by punching, kicking, and throwing them. you'd use your body in (supposedly) nonlethal ways. dead souls does not have a combat system meant for civilians. you have your guns. you subdue threats by shooting them, preferably lethally. the game doesn't want you to do that to humans, so you never fight humans. this furthers the black and white divide between the salvation-worthy, noble humans and the death-worthy, worthless zombies. combat is only lethal, and only used against the inherent other.
this leads me to the part of dead souls i find most conflicting with the ethos of rgg broadly, and perhaps its greatest ideological/thematic failing.
because the enemy are incurable, dangerous, and inhuman, you must kill them to protect yourself and others, others who are still human. humanity is something that is lost or preserved, but never regained. once someone's gone, they're gone, and you not only must kill them, it is your duty and your right to kill them. you should kill them.
in dead souls, there is no redeeming the enemy.
and that's a big problem.
rgg is about a lot of things, but a key one is the ability of people to change for the better. its most memorable, beloved villains are those who see the light by the end and change their wicked ways (usually through some form of redemptive suicide, though that's another essay in itself). its pantheon of characters is full of those who come from questionable backgrounds struggling to be the best people they can be, to live as themselves authentically and compassionately. it's about the good and the love you can find in the moral and legal gray zones of life/society, and the potential/capacity for good all of us have, no matter how far we may have fallen. it is a hopeful series. it is a merciful series.
this is something bolstered by its gameplay. countless substories are resolved by punching a lesson into someone until they improve their behavior, either out of fear or genuine remorse/development. the games don't just discourage killing your enemies, they don't allow you to (yes, we've all seen the "kiryu hasn't killed anybody? umm. look at this heat action" stuff before, and while they've got a point, i believe it's the narrative's intent that none of this is actually lethal, based on how laxly it treats certain plot injuries (cough cough. y7 bartender) and the actual concept of taking a life, the gravity it is given by the text, particularly when it comes to characters crossing that threshold into someone who has killed. explicit killing is not an option open to you, even when you're being attacked by dozens and dozens of armed men. conflicts are resolved by simply beating up enough guys in this nonlethal manner.
but dead souls is a shooter. to avoid conflict with the series' moral qualms about letting its characters kill, the enemies cannot be human. furthermore, the zombie shooter genre can only fit within the series if its zombies are completely inhuman. this means their pasts as humans cannot be acknowledged, nor the possibility of a cure, nor the characters' own potential conflicts about killing them; or, at least, not in a way that impedes their or the player's ability to gun them down afterwards.
if you can't kill humans in your series, then it cannot be possible to save (in this case, rehumanize) zombies. this is especially true in a game where you are unable to fight humans, and thus human lives are universally more valuable than zombie lives. because if you kill a zombie that can be cured, you are, in a way, killing a human.
and so, in a series where you should always assume your enemies (and everyone, for that matter) are capable of reason, compassion, change, and redemption, and where they are always worth that effort, even if they reject it in the end, dead souls' enemies are irredeemable and only worth swift, stylish slaughter. there are only good guys and bad guys. good guys must be protected, lest they be turned irreversibly into bad guys. good guys are only protected by killing bad guys, and the only way to save good guys is to kill every last one of the bad guys. do not spare them, and do not ask whether or not it's right. only kill.
i love dead souls. it's a silly game. i like seeing daigo in decoy-drag and majima gleefully cartwheeling his way through zombies and ryuji with his giant gun arm prosthetic. it's fun. but when i was trying to figure out what felt off about it to me, one of the words that came to mind (besides american) was indulgent. that, too, felt odd, because i love indulgent media. i am not one to scorn decadent, hedonistic, beautiful high-calorie slop type media. if dead souls was just fan servicey, that wouldn't really bother me. i am a fan and boy do i feel serviced. it rocks. but i think my problem is in what dead souls is indulging.
i think dead souls indulges in the desire to cut loose, and to see these characters cut loose. thing is, they're cutting loose all over kamurocho, and all over the bodies of people they used to (at least in concept) care for. with lethal weapons. it is catharsis via bloodbath, not by pushing your body and mind to the limit in man to man combat, but by pulling a trigger before the other guy can hurt you, or even think about hurting you, for the crime of existing as the wrong kind of thing.
and i just don't think that's in line with rgg's beliefs.
yes, it's probably fair for dead souls' characters to kill zombies. i'm not against that. i'm also not against games letting you do purposeless violence. i spent a good amount of my elementary school years killing oblivion npcs for shits, like. that's not what bothers me about dead souls.
rgg as a series has always taken a hard stance in both its game design and narrative choices against killing and for the potential for redemption in its enemies. and i think the lengths to which it goes to promote that despite the probably-lethal moves you do and the improbability of a harmless do-gooder yakuza is one of the most endearing things about the games. so for this one entry to disregard that key theme for the sake of a genre shift that flopped super hard, well? i dunno. it feels weird i guess. it's out of place not just because it's a dramatic shift in gameplay and style and also zombies are only a thing here (and the supernatural/fantastical are thus only prominent here), but because of what those shifts imply.
so, uh. yeah. my pre-dead-souls thoughts that dead souls wasn't that out of pocket bc rgg's just kinda weird? turns out it was actually super weird to have a zombie shooter in there, but for way way deeper reasons than anyone gives it credit for.
(footnotes in tags)
#1) i deemphasized the physicality of shooting to emphasize my points about the viscerality and personal nature of rgg#brawls and the colder more detached nature of gun use relative to that but i do NOT mean that shooting has no physical component to it#obviously it takes a lot of skill to shoot quickly and accurately and lugging a bigass gun around kamurocho would tucker me out for sure#2) no i don't think all those things i said were american were usa-exclusive. it's a big world out there. i'm just saying those things#combined feel like a particularly american flavor of thing to me#3) there's probably more to be said about the connection between wanton killing and american styling or anti-immigration theming in zombie#stories or dead souls But i figured that was a bit too disconnected to the funny zombie game. this shit was a lot anyway y'know?#4) also i don't think most of this was intentional on the part of rgg studios. i genuinely think they just wanted to make a fun zombie#shooter and didnt really think about it all that hard. whenever you make smth there's gonna be implications you never considered. it happen#5) is it ballsy to write a giant essay on a game i'm like 1/4 the way through? yes. i've done smarter things. i'll revisit it when im done#if i'm wrong then i'll figure it out probably. but like. i don't think they'd set up the hasegawa objective stuff or have akiyama just#unflinchingly start shooting zombies and then later challenge that. we'll see but my hopes aren't high y'know? i know rgg#6) i should also clarify that violent catharsis is a) a part of all rgg games and b) cool as hell. it's the lethal bit that doesn't fit with#the series y'know?#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#yakuza#like a dragon#yakuza dead souls#dead souls#classic skrunk 4 hr middle of the night impulse essay hooorayy
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dogearedheart · 8 days
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🏞🏞🏞
#the thing is I'm not proud of many things I've done. It's actually the exact opposite.#I kinda suck most of the time if I'm honest. but getting sober and doing it all on my own...#it's one of the only things I'm proud of when it comes to myself. sure.it's my third attempt but 1 year and 3 months...#it's the longest time I've ever managed to not try and deal with myself in a way that slowly but surely fucked me up in a very different way#I still struggle. some days are easier than others#but I'm still doing it.#being sober doesn't magically solve all my other issues but I don't spiral as much as I used to.#i don't think I'll ever be someone people can be around. which is like i don't blame people. i know how i am and how fucking difficult it is#to deal with that. the fear of abandonment that makes me push people away until they leave. the self-fulfilling prophesy of it all#the way i push and when i get the result i was expecting the immediate pull the fear and irrationality#the emotional disreggulation the self-pity#it's gotten better since i stopped drinking. less frequently and all that... but it's never gone not really#sometimes i think about the what could've beens.#what if my childhood went a little differently. what if my dad was there for me when i needed him. what if i wasn't me.#my ex best friend once told me that I'm to desperate to be saved. that nobody can do that anyway.#I'm not sure if I'd deserve it anyway. i have dreams in which I'm still me still dark and ugly and selfish and cruel at times#but i am trying i like to believe that i am already trying. i am. I'm just scared that it'll never be enough.#I'm not proud of many things but I'm 1 year and 3 months sober#only a few days and it's gonna be 1 year and 4 months#i didn't achieve much in my life but I'm here and i am trying every day i am trying and i hope on day it'll be enough#i hope one day i won't cause pain but build something good#sorry... I've just been thinking about it lately#because it is an achievement and i didn’t let myself be proud of how far I've come#alex talks#I'm still scared that people will look at me differently when they know... sometimes i feel like they can see the my rotten core anyway#to delete
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philosophicallie · 4 months
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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
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seventh-district · 3 months
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i ​also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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britneyshakespeare · 6 months
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throughout the series of drake and josh it pretty consistently implies that josh nichols is a christian (josh peck is jewish) and in the finale of the series helen (played by yvette nicole brown, not jewish[?]) is portrayed as a practicing jew
#i dont have a problem w either of those things necessarily i just find it interesting#if i had to guess. drake and josh was a mainstream that didnt wanna touch on religion generally#but josh was kind of a dork and usually when josh's religious beliefs are implied it is in dorkish ways#such as praying and thanking the lord after he has his first kiss.#but since dan schneider is jewish perhaps he wanted to make helen have a jewish wedding in the finale?#not that there needs to be a reason. but u do notice occasional jewish-related jokes in d&j but none of them are what you could call#offensive. in good faith that is. 'eric is a pacifist' 'i thought he was jewish?' like come on#text post#i have been rewatching drake and josh recently and i have had so many thoughts#im almost done. i just have left that stupid dance episode that they premiered last for the stupid reason#of a special dance-themed premiere night in fall 2007. they premiered the third episode of icarly and a new zoey 101 on the same night#which i think is so stupid. they should've aired really big shrimp last. it messed w my understanding of the series at the time lol#i remember not really knowing that the show was ENDING. like i knew icarly was starting & miranda was doing that#i thought really big shrimp was like just another special like go hollywood.#and then like two days later they premiered the helicopter episode for some reason#and i was like why is drake not famous in this. he just had a number 1 song in a superbowl commercial#and then a month later the dance one. which. if anything is satisfying about that as a final episode it's just that#that unnamed girl from the blues brothers episode who is obsessed w drake shows up again and congratulates them#and the very final line of the series is 'who is she?' because. because really who IS she?#that's a funny enough throwback to wrap things up with i suppose#drake and josh wasn't a highly serialized show so i can see how they could air those after the intended finale and act like it didn't matte#but i have to tell you it did fuck with my brain a bit at the time. lol. i still think of those episodes as having 'happened' after#and on paramount plus those episodes are still placed after really big shrimp. the injustice#but thats kinda messy. what a weird way to end such an influential and popular sitcom#season 4 had a few lowpoints while still also having some VERY solid episodes.#idk. ill have to continue my series review another time im getting way too longwinded here#helen dubois is jewish
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