#i think it makes their dynamic way more interesting

[evilmenenjoyer]

Gratitude

Pairing: The Salesman x fem!Reader

SEQUEL to City of Love. Probably not a good fic to read as a stand-alone; read City of Love first for context.

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: smut (minors dni), dubious consent, rough sex after a fight, degradation, dom/sub dynamics, bruising, marking, pain play/sadomasochism, mirror sex, manhandling, hurt/comfort (but mostly hurt), lots of angst.

Tags: @apookalypse @thecutiepieishere / I do not have an official taglist yet, but I'd be willing to make one if people were interested. If you'd like to be tagged in my fics, or in any additions to this story, let me know somehow!

–––

It's three days later when you see him again, just when you were convinced he left Paris for good.

You knew it would take a lot longer for the reminders of him to leave your mind as well as your body. He's in the marks his hands left on your hips, in the scrapes and faint bruises along your back from when he tossed and squeezed you against the brick wall, in the ghost of his lips on your skin. You can still feel them every time you close your eyes, hear his voice whisper your name against your neck as he came.

It shouldn't surprise you, after everything, to have him knock on your door right as you’re getting ready to have a night out. It still nearly takes your breath away to see him, looking as impeccable as usual in his dark gray suit, smiling as if his mere presence doesn't rock your world upside down a third time.

“What part of ‘don’t ever contact me again’ did you not understand?” you ask, though right away you can tell you don't sound nearly as firm and assertive as you’d like. You wonder if he can tell you hoped, against every rational thought in your brain, that he would come back.

Judging by his smile, you’d bet he can.

“I couldn't help myself,” he responds, raising his hands slightly in mock surrender. “Can I come in?”

That part of you that still clings to rationality, that can tell a good idea apart from a horrible one, lights up like a loud siren in your brain. There's nothing good that could possibly come out of this. Hasn't he toyed with you enough already? With his weird twisted games, tracking you down all the way to a foreign country, sending you off to those horrific games?

Still, you find yourself stepping aside, leaving a gap for him to come through. You’ve never been good at controlling your impulses, after all.

The apartment you’ve been renting for the time being stands in the heart of Paris. It looks exactly what you pictured a typical, glamorous Parisian apartment to look like – high walls, hardwood floors, large arched windows with a stunning view of the city and the Eiffel Tower. It's furnished with all the essentials, and nothing more. You didn't see the need to bring in new furniture or decorations when you didn't even know for how long you’d be staying in the city. At this point, you’re already considering moving on to somewhere else.

“Make yourself at home,” you say. “But I’m going out soon.”

“I see that.” His eyes run over you as he sits at the arm of the couch, shamelessly lingering on the black dress that hugs all your curves at the right spots. “Where are you going?”

“Out.”

You turn your back to him, looking for the earrings you had put down somewhere when you heard the knock on the door. You feel his body heat approach you from behind, his fingertips brushing against a red spot on your shoulder blade that the spaghetti straps of the dress fail to cover.

“Did I do this to you?”

His voice doesn't sound remorseful or apologetic at all. If only, there's a hint of pride to his tone, a small smile at the corner of his lip that you can tell is there without even looking at him. It should upset you, thinking of how roughly he pushed you against that wall, but it has goosebumps blooming all over your skin around the spot he touches.

“Who else would it be?” Your voice shakes ever so slightly against your will, and you clear your throat to get rid of it.

You expect him to pull back, but instead he inches even closer. He has to lean down to mold his chest to your back, his lips brushing the delicate skin of your neck when he speaks. “I can make it up to you.”

“Oh, really?” You turn your head just enough to chase after his lips. Screw the night out. He lets you capture them, indulging you in only a quick kiss before pulling away.

“I’m serious. I have something for you.”

“Oh.” You frown at the loss of contact, turning to face him. “What is it?”

“Close your eyes.”

Your frown deepens, and he raises his eyebrows at you. “Don't you trust me yet?” he asks.

No. Absolutely not. Still, what's the worst that can happen? What would he do while you have your eyes closed that he can't do right now; that he couldn't have done three nights ago at that bar, when you gave yourself to him so willingly?

You close your eyes, with a small sigh as if letting him know it's a nuisance. There's no real heat to it, and you both know it.

The Salesman’s hands find their way to your arms, guiding you further into the apartment. You follow his lead slowly, careful not to bump into any furniture or clutter you left around the place while picking an outfit and getting ready.

“You didn't have to give me a gift,” you say, still confused about what this is about. He stops walking the two of you, leaving you in an unknown part of the apartment. Your heart beats slightly faster than normal; distrustful, but excited. No man has ever bought you a gift before. Gifts are for girlfriends, for women they're trying to impress. Somehow, in all your years on this Earth, you’d missed out on being that woman to anyone.

“I was feeling romantic,” he explains. You feel something cold land over the exposed skin of your neck and chest, and he fiddles with a clasp at the nape of your neck. “Blame it on Paris. You can open your eyes.”

You do so, finding yourself standing in your bedroom, right in front of the large mirror resting against the wall. The necklace stands out against your skin – thin white gold chain and gemstones shining so bright you can immediately tell they're real, a ruby and a sapphire encrusted by tiny crystals. The color choice is an odd one for a necklace, prompting you to take a closer look. That's when any hints of a smile vanish from your face.

The gemstones are placed beside each other, the shapes and markings in them identical to those of the ddakji tiles you and the Salesman had played together in the subway station.

“I had it custom-made for you,” he says. Standing behind you, his reflection on the mirror takes up almost the entire background, but you don't pay him any mind. Your eyes are all but glued to the red and deep blue stones hanging from your neck, hoping against hope that you had seen it all wrong, that this was just a figment of your imagination and the real necklace will reveal itself if you just look hard enough.

It never does.

Reality hits you then. This isn’t some fun new fling, or the beginning of a Paris romance. This is the man who lured you into a horribly traumatic experience when you were at your most vulnerable, who came all the way from Seoul just to rub in your face that you didn't deserve to make it out of there alive. And now here he is. Prying his way into your apartment, your body, your mind. And you just let him.

Horror floods you, nearly pushing you to your knees right here. You touch the pendant with shaky fingers, and it takes everything in you not to grab the chain and yank it off your neck. Finally, your eyes meet the Salesman’s in the mirror.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He blinks innocently. “You don't like it?”

“Why would you do this?” you ask, unsure of whether you want to burst into tears or slap him in the face.

His fingers join yours where they rest on the necklace, only grazing your skin on their way to touching the pendant. “I thought you'd like a reminder.”

That makes you spring into action, pulling away from him and pushing his hand away with a ferocity you didn't know you still had, not since the Squid Games.

“A reminder? What makes you think I want to remember that shit?” You raise your voice; something to make up for how small you feel, by the way you need to tilt your head to look him in the eye. “If I could erase that night from my memory for the rest of my life, I would.”

“I find that hard to believe. Would you erase our night together at the bar as well?” His eyes leave yours only to look back to the mirror behind you. “Look at you. Wearing those bruises so proudly.”

For a moment all you can do is stare at him, unable to believe the sheer audacity he has to stand in your house and say these things. The worst of it all is you can’t fully deny it – you picked the dress deliberately knowing it left the upper part of your back exposed, happy to catch glimpses of the bruises he left you with if you happened to stumble upon a mirror or reflective surface throughout the night.

“I would,” you insist. “What the fuck makes you think I’d want to remember the night that ruined my life?”

A laugh comes out of him; a short, but cruel sound. “I ruined your life, is that what you're saying?”

You scoff. “Don't act like you don't know you did.”

He steps even closer to you. You refuse to step back, even when it feels like his chest is about to bump into your forehead. “Your life,” he says, “was already shit way before I came around. Debt, an awful job, an even worse home, no future prospects, no friends. What exactly was there about your life that was good enough to be ruined?”

Rage consumes you to hear him talk like that about your old life. Things were bad, yes, but there was a positivity about you that's been lost ever since you stepped foot in those games. You could barely make ends meet, and your shifts were long and exhausting, but you had hopes of going to school, of turning your life around. Your home was a tiny, shitty house in an even shittier neighborhood, but you still took the effort to decorate it and try to make it feel more like a home. Where did that go? Now, you have all the money you could ever wish for, and all you do is spend it on clothes and expensive trips you don't even have the motivation to enjoy, your only goal being getting far away from Seoul.

“At least I felt like a fucking person! Do you even know what that’s like? Feeling human?” you all but yell, grateful for the language barrier in case any neighbors happen to be listening. “I’d never killed anyone. I’d never wanted to kill anyone! I didn't have nightmares, and I didn't wake up every day wondering if I deserve to be alive after everything I did to survive!”

“You had nothing,” he reminds you, his voice cold as the winter outside. “Not even your dignity. Or did you forget how we met? How you asked me to play ddakji with you, willing to get hit in the face repeatedly not for money, but just to have my attention?”

You hold back a sob, shaking your head furiously, but it's of no use. The words sting hard enough to bring tears to your eyes; it stings even more to know they're true. 

“Get out of my apartment,” you demand. You wish you'd never let him in. You wish you'd never met him at all.

“Things are different now,” he says, ignoring your order completely. “You’re rich, and you’ve matured. You’ll never struggle again in your life, if you're smart.”

“I said GET THE FUCK OUT!”

Finally at your breaking point, you push him, shoving at his chest as hard as you have the strength to. He barely budges. It's only then that you notice how cornered he’s got you, your back about to bump into the mirror.

He brings his hand towards your face, cupping your chin and forcing you to look higher up at him. You thrash and claw at his wrist, trying to push it away from you, but he only tightens his grip until it's almost painful. There’s a darkness in his eyes that’s unlike any expression you’ve ever seen on him.

“I made you stronger. You're a millionaire now because of me,” he says. “How about a little gratitude?”

Even from your position, you still manage an incredulous scoff at him. “Gratitude?”

“Yes.” A grin stretches the corner of his lips, not a trace of warmth of friendliness behind it. “You should be thankful I pulled you out of your misery.”

He moves faster than you’re ready to, grabbing you by the waist and tossing you down. You brace yourself for the impact of your head hitting the floor, gasping in surprise when your back bounces over the soft mattress instead. He hovers above you, using his heavier body to pin yours down before you even have the chance to start struggling against his grip.

“Get off me!”

“Calm down.” He holds both your wrists together with one hand, while the other manages to somehow pull your panties off your body, using your kicking legs as leverage. Your eyes widen in shock. “I’m just giving you another reminder.”

“W-what?” Your voice wavers with fear. All that fury is slowly but surely being replaced with it, or with a mixture of both feelings that leaves you heaving for breath.

He doesn't have to pull your dress up – your own struggle does it by itself, leaving the fabric rumpled up at your hips and your bottom exposed. You stop kicking him in an attempt to cover yourself, and he takes advantage of that fraction of a second to stick his knee on the spot on the mattress between your legs, stopping you from shutting them. You gasp, the heavy pressure on your core cutting off all your thoughts for a moment. You can think of nothing to do other than to yell for help.

As if reading your thoughts, his free hand covers your mouth.

You voice your displeasure through a muffled grunt. You keep on struggling, trying to kick him off you, but each movement unintentionally rubs your bare clit over his thigh that pins you down. He applies even more pressure and you cry out, mortified to feel heat pooling between your legs.

“Christ, you're wet. I can feel it.”

You can feel it too, the fabric of his pants damp and hot where it connects with you. You're torn on whether to keep fighting and essentially humping his leg or giving up, if only to have a few instants of relief.

“If you scream, I’ll slit your throat,” he warns in a hoarse whisper. “Do you understand?”

Out of options, you nod.

He releases your mouth, then your wrists. It occurs to you to scream anyway, but you force yourself to remember who you're dealing with. He wouldn’t give you empty threats. Anyone involved in bringing people into those games has no qualms about slitting your throat open and leaving you to bleed out on your silk sheets.

The Salesman makes his way down your body, now holding onto your legs with his hands.

“What the fuck are you doing?” you manage to ask, the answer rather obvious but it had all happened so fast, leaving you dazed and confused.

“Giving you yet another reason to be thankful to me.”

The sudden, damp feel of his tongue on your entrance overcomes your senses, and you wouldn't be able to hold back a shout if you tried.

Fortunately, he forgives you for it. You squirm under the sensations, but he holds your hips down against the mattress in a firm grip, immobilizing them completely and prying you open all at once. You hoist yourself up over your elbows only to be met with your own reflection on the mirror across the room, your hair a mess already and your face contorted in fear and pleasure and indignation all at once. You can’t bear to watch yourself like this, mortification entrenched into every muscle of your body that reacts to his touch as he continues to penetrate you with his tongue. You fall back towards the mattress with a broken moan.

“God– Y-you can’t–” Whatever you were about to say dies out in your throat as his lips rise to your clit, enveloping you so expertly in the wet heat of his mouth. You clench your whole body, eyelids all the way down to your toes, and for a moment you’re grateful for the hands that hold your legs open just so you don’t have to face the shame of spreading them wider.

Your hands, perfectly capable of putting up a fight once they’d been released, twist into the sheets beneath you, holding on like your life depends on it. You curse yourself for not trying harder to push him off, for not really wanting to; for always being so unwilling to say no to him. Moans leave your lips like they’re being ripped out of you, growing in volume like you just can’t help it. It makes you wish one of the pillows were within reach so you could bury it against your face and muffle them, or simply to hide yourself from how incredibly good it feels to be at his mercy.

It doesn’t take long at all. Say whatever you want about the Salesman, but this is a man who knows what he’s doing with his tongue. In only a few minutes he reduces you to whimpers and pleading, your orgasm hitting you like a wave crashing full-force over the shore. Your back arches off the bed, mouth open in a long moan, and he continues to dine on you like a starving man until the moment you fall backwards, spent.

When you come back to yourself, you’re covering your face with your hands as he presses kisses to the line of your inner thigh. You feel him make his way up your body, feel his hands on your wrists, gently moving them out of the way and exposing your face, the deep flush that has colored your cheeks.

Looking into his eyes, you’re overcome with a rush of emotions you’re not sure how to name. How can a person make you feel so many things at once? How can you still want him – ardently, desperately, profoundly want him – after everything? How can he be so addictive, leaving you already hooked from the scraps of attention he’s given you? You tilt your head just a tiny bit towards him, a silent invitation, and he leans in the rest of the way to take your lips in his.

He kisses you deeply, hungrily, holding you through the shudders that run through your body from the aftershocks of your orgasm until they subside. Kisses you like you’re more than just a hookup, tempting you to believe there must be something about you that’s special. Kisses you for long enough to get you drunk in it, like he’s happy to do nothing but this for the rest of his life.

The next time he pulls back, he removes his suit jacket and tie. You somehow manage to help him unbutton his white shirt, motivated by the promise of feeling his bare skin on yours. You nearly forget his pants are still on, letting him work on that as you press kisses to down his neck. Of course his body is as perfect as his face. He makes an approving sound that you can feel on his throat, and you follow the vibrations of his vocal chords until his pulse point, pleased to find his heartbeats as fast as yours. You can’t resist taking the skin there between your teeth.

He growls, hands tightening on your hips and flipping you on the bed so you’re facing the other side, your back to him. You hold onto the bed frame to steady yourself, body half-bent forward.

You expect him to thrust into you without warning, just as he had the last time. Before that, he brings a hand underneath your chin, tilting your head upwards, your sight landing squarely on your joined reflection on the mirror.

“Keep your eyes right there.” Now he enters you, and you watch your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion. “Watch yourself get fucked on my cock.”

The sheer filth in his voice prompts you to obey, to look. Your knuckles turn white on the bedframe and your body rocks forward with each of his thrusts; slow at first, but steadily gaining power and speed. He reaches down to rub your clit in circles, and it makes your body jerk to feel it and see it at the same time, to watch your reactions in real time. The sight of the necklace still hanging from your neck prompts you to look away, a confirmation of what’s actually happening to you that you’re not prepared to stare in the face.

His hand leaves your clit to wrap itself into your hair, yanking it back. Your body arches to follow it, your reflection on the glass confronting you once again.

“I said look,” he says into your ear. “Don’t you wanna see what a pretty mess you are for me?”

You shake your head, although his death grip on your hair makes it difficult to move. That’s precisely the issue: seeing the mess that he made you into, seeing yourself so overwhelmed and dirty and ashamed, the sounds leaving you suggesting nothing other than aching, raw need. It’s too much. It doesn’t stop you from pushing your hips back to meet his, trying to match his rhythm. 

He angles his thrusts to hit a spot inside of you that makes you see stars. “Oh God,” you croak, feeling the heaviness of tears behind your eyes and another orgasm fast approaching.

Just when you’re close, impossibly close to your release, he stops. You watch him on the mirror, panting just for a moment before he pulls out of you and releases your hair. You’re about to protest, or maybe plead for mercy, but he pushes you to lay on your back on the bed again, back inside of you before you can even think of a sentence.

“How about that thank you now?” He pounds into you, somehow even deeper from this position.  “Say it.”

“Shut up,” you say instead. The pause, brief as it was, only served to make you more desperate to come, and the last thing you need right now is to hear this. “Please just shut up.”

The necklace gleams over your chest, catching his attention. The Salesman runs a thumb over the sapphire, as if contemplating something, before he presses down on the pendant hard, digging it into your skin.

You gasp, throwing your head back. He’s moving fast enough that the bed rocks underneath you, the headboard slamming into the wall, his fingers still on the necklace like he wants to imprint it into your chest. It fucking hurts, the sharp metal edges unrelenting, digging in hard enough to leave a bruise. It makes your body sing, awakes the deeply-hidden, fucked up parts of you that crave this kind of pain.

“Every time you wake up,” the Salesman says, slightly out of breath himself, but much more composed than you, “and you look out of the window and see Paris, or anywhere that’s not the gutter in Seoul, you thank me for saving you.” He punctuates his words with a particularly hard thrust. “Say it.”

You don’t want to say it. Saying it makes you feel like it’s true, like you should give in and believe what he’s saying. That you are a piece of trash who got lucky, after all, and you should thank him for anything close to success that you achieve from now on. But your orgasm is so close you can feel the force of it numb your ears, your wrists; and in this moment, you would say anything, do anything, so long as he keeps you feeling this good.

“Thank you,” the words are just barely above a whisper, like you wish you could keep them to yourself as a shameful secret.

“For what?”

He gives you another hard thrust, almost painful if only the lines between pain and pleasure hadn’t been blurred a long time ago. You push your chest into an arch, the pendant digging even deeper into you until it breaks skin and the pain turns into agony.

“F-for saving me.”

“Good girl.”

You come then, thinking about the mark that the necklace will leave on you, thinking about how you’re going to feel it for days, how you’re going to remember it every time you feel it or see it. That there will be evidence on your body that he touched you this passionately. It feels like you’re floating, rising to the sky as you clench and unclench around him, as sound after humiliating sound leaves you.

You collapse back against the mattress when your orgasm finally lets you go, boneless and spent. You didn’t see or hear him come – in another situation, it might’ve upset you to miss it, if you weren’t still riding the aftershocks of that incredible high –, but he’s still against you, breathing hard into your neck. His release leaks from between your legs. He stays like that for a long time, slowly softening inside of you, before he finally pulls out and away from you.

You stay right where you are, unmoving. Somewhere far away, you think you can hear him searching for his clothes and dressing himself. You don’t want it to upset you, but it does; because of course he would come here, humiliate you, give you the best fuck of your life and then immediately leave, without so much as a word to you. Your head falls to the side, and even that small movement feels incredibly difficult, like your entire body is a limb that has fallen asleep. Your vision is blurry, far-away, until it finally focuses on the large window that overlooks the city. Tiny snowflakes flutter over the city lights and the dark night sky.

“It’s snowing.”

That pulls his attention to you. He’s got his pants and shirt on, the first few buttons undone, his once perfectly-styled hair a mess. He follows the line of your gaze to the window. “Were you looking forward to it?” he asks.

“Yeah.” It feels like forever ago since the last time you even thought about it. The Salesman was right; the city is beautiful at this time of the year.

You expect him to return to his clothes then head out the door. Instead, he reaches for the covers over the bed and wraps your naked body up in them like a baby. “Ow,” you hiss when he moves you, pain exploding on your chest where the necklace was pressed against you. A few drops of blood dry on your skin from when the skin had split. You feel the Salesman lift you bridal-style, much to your surprise, but you’re still too dazed to find it in you to question it.

He sits you both on the thick windowsill, him behind you and you leaning against his chest, framed by his legs. It’s gentle, somehow more intimate than you’ve ever been with him even after sleeping with him twice. You watch the snowfall outside, mesmerized, letting the steady rise-and-fall of his chest behind you soothe your aching muscles.

It’s the closest to safe you’ve felt in what feels like forever, and you’re crying before you even realize it.

Once it starts, it’s impossible to stop it. Your body trembles with the force of your sobs, tears flowing from your eyes like they haven’t since you were a little kid, at least not this openly. He wraps his arms around you from behind, pulling you flush against himself and pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, keeping his lips right there against your scalp. He rocks you ever so slightly, shushing your cries, the sound as soothing as a soft lullaby. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” you sob. You think about the snow in Seoul, about how the first snowfall always made you excited, even when it happened every year. You can feel your tears rolling down your cheeks and into your neck, your collarbones. “I want to go home.”

“Then go home,” he says, like it’s simple.

“I can’t.” How can you walk the same streets you always did, as if your life wasn’t completely changed? As if the price you paid for this change wasn’t much, much greater than you could deal with? “You’re right. I have nothing. No one.”

“You had nothing. You can have anything you want now.” You want to tell him there are things money can’t buy, but you’re so tired, so exhausted. You can’t muster the willpower for much other than wallowing in your own misery, weeping in his arms like a child. “And you have me.”

That only makes you cry harder, shaking your head. “Don’t say shit you don’t mean.”

“Look at me.” He nudges you to turn to him, the angle awkward but it’s so worth it the second he cups your face in both hands, brushing your tears away with his thumbs. “I mean it. Come back to Seoul.” He kisses the corner of your mouth, then your heavy eyelids. “You just need to see things from a different perspective. I can help you.”

He coaxes you to lay back against him, and you do so without protest, burying your face into his chest. For a moment you actually consider it. Dropping the plans you had for a next trip and following him to Seoul, letting him finish corrupting you with whatever twisted worldview he has. Maybe it would be blissful, you think, to see all that violence and bloodshed as a blessing, as something that saved you rather than ruined you. It has to be a trap, or another one of his games. But it doesn’t hurt to dream about it, just a little bit.

Little by little your crying subsides, your breaths returning to normal. He holds you through it all, stroking your hair in a way that’s so tender, so soft, like you’re fragile. Like he cares about you, or even loves you.

You silently wonder if he can love anyone at all, much less someone as broken as you.

With his fingers drawing circles on your scalp, you drift off into a dreamless sleep.

–––

You wake up alone. You’re still naked but on the bed, tucked into your blankets. There’s no confusion over what happened last night, no delusions that your brain would come up with a dream like that. There’s only memories hitting you like a truck, one after the other, and it’s too fucking early for this.

You pull yourself into a sitting position, and you jump at the sight of yourself on the mirror. You barely notice the smudged makeup from last night, your eyes going straight to the star of the show: the angry red spot right on the center of your chest, already turning into a deep purple at the center. You flinch before you even touch it, your hand hanging in the air halfway through like you’ve changed your mind. The necklace finishes it off like the cherry on top of the cake, the pair of precious stones right next to each other like eyes watching you, mocking you.

You button your coat all the way up before you leave the house.

It’s still early enough that the sun has just begun rising, coloring the sky in a bright blue that bleeds into the buildings and streets. There’s probably nothing open right now, but you could really use some coffee. Or a drink. Probably a drink.

You find him at Pont Neuf, watching the river below. There’s no one else around, the city in a rare moment of quiet and peace. He hasn’t spotted you yet, seemingly lost in thought, and it occurs to you that you could sneak up behind him, push him over the edge and just keep on walking. Sever your ties to him forever, and simply keep going like nothing ever happened, bury it along with all the other memories you try so hard to forget.

You don’t do it, but knowing you could brings you a bit of comfort. You lower your head and keep walking in the opposite direction, not sparing him another glance.

[illyabata]

diluc x subby f!reader

content: nsfw but not explicit/descriptive writing (lots of talk of dynamics and preferences i think diluc would have for intimacy), vanilla diluc and reader at first, ur married, dom/sub dynamics, soft dom/service top diluc, talk of kids at the end, bratty reader, hint of breeding kink at the end as well if you squint and if you want to interpret it that way. diluc is really just an upstanding gentleman i love him very much and want to marry a man like him someday

diluc is one character i feel strongly to be a taker of zero risks with intimacy—neither would he enjoy such risks if he were to partake. to him, the act of sex is reverent, the purest display of love between him and his partner. never should that act be tainted by fear of discovery, discomfort, or shame.

diluc would want his lover to feel completely safe and secure during such vulnerable moments. i think he’s generally very “vanilla”, and that’s not a bad thing at all. he just enjoys making you feel loved in the most intimate way, and to him, that way is in the setting of a bedroom, lights dimmed, without the company of any other save for his beloved. his favorite position is missionary, of course it is—he can see you, see your face, kiss you silly, all while protecting you from the world. he’s the perfect husband for a pillow princess, truly—just lay down and let him do all the work, sweetheart. he’d be happy to indulge in anything new you suggest, but i feel that a relationship with diluc is steady, conservative, and gently paced, as he is so very much a gentleman. should you desire to explore more, he would never stop you, but his own desires tend to remain consistent. if you are content, he is content.

diluc’s honor and gentlemanly nature will always take precedence over any sexual desire he may harbor for you, however much he may feel. he is simply an honorable man. therefore i feel strongly that he cannot even will himself to think of doing anything promiscuous with you in any sort of public setting, no matter how hidden it may be, and no matter how much he may want you, or how much you want him. it’s not comfortable, and it’s not appropriate—it’s just not his jam. i think that is probably his only hard ‘no’ when it comes to things you may ask for. he will take you home swiftly if he is able, or you will both simply endure the yearning until night falls.

i think the furthest he’d stray into kinky territory is dom/sub dynamics (this is surprising to no one). really anything where he gets to be the protector, the guiding hand, the gentle touch with a firm grip—he’s the definition of a soft dom. his demeanor is too gentle, his heart too bleedy, his soul too pure, to do anything other than love you sweetly unless you should explicitly ask for something else.

for example, if you ask him to be meaner, rougher, or crueler, i honestly think he’d be quite perplexed, and it would take him some time to adjust to the idea. that’s definitely not something to spring on him in the moment. it goes against his nature, to be honest, because he could never imagine bringing harm or even risk of harm to someone he loves so much, whether that harm be physical, mental, or emotional. diluc would have to mull over it for a while before he’s able to approach you and say he’s ready if that’s something you would enjoy, because if it’s for you, he’d try anything. once it happens and he gets into it, oh i think he’d be into it—it’s just not something he ever would have known he’d like unless you bring it up, because he is naturally selfless in love.

the diluc soft dom to hard(er) dom pipeline is crazy cause when he gets the okay from you to be firmer, he naturally takes on that role as if it was made for him, and he remains a service top through everything. his pleasure comes second to yours, and that’s how he has always operated (which also makes for very interesting flip dynamics whenever he gets desperate👁️). if you ask for him to be firm, if you tell him you want him to be in control, that you want to submit to him, that you want him to be strong, to guide you, to take what he wants?

he’s putty.

he’d ask you several times if you’re sure. if that’s really what you want. when you say yes, it is, i’m telling you that it is—he’s still rather nervous at first. at first he wonders if he even knows what he wants, because he’s always so focused on what you want.

but truly, what he wants is just to love you in a way that is safe and comfortable for the both of you. if you are pleasured, he is pleasured. that’s honestly the baseline for anything he ever does.

perhaps, though, just once, he can focus on his own pleasure a bit more. you’ve given him the explicit go-ahead, many times, and even asked for him to be rougher, after all.

so he becomes more truly dominant, giving you more directions, and asking for more from you. he even takes, sometimes, and he has never taken anything before. it makes you feel very giddy.

his new firmness opens up the opportunity for you to explore being bratty. you’ve found yourself becoming increasingly playful, while he remains rather stoic and hard-assed as he learns to deal with you, and you love it—you know he does, too, because he has told you. taming you is a nice fun precursor to the intimate and very romantic missionary sex that you two will have.

and if you’ve talked about kids in your marriage before, this is the point where a hidden desire will finally emerge in him.

he really wants kids. more than he let you realize before. and he really wants to get you pregnant. like whenever you’re ready, he is rearing to go. as soon as you give him consent, he is more needy and wanton than you’ve ever seen before. he takes more, manhandles you, and loves you firmly, and it’s literaly awesome sauce : 3

sorry lost my energy to write more and forgot how to be serious : 3 just got inflicted with the diluc brainrot for a solid 45 minutes and got the urge to write about it bc i for some reason was thinking about people having public-ish/risky sex and how i would never be comfortable with that personally for multiple reasons . and then i thought about diluc and i was like oh my glorious king he’s like a mr darcy dreamboat i swear ugh anyways

[writingwisterias]

How would the different eras of Leon act if he knows he shouldn’t be with the reader (ada wong typa shit) but he can’t escape from her like whenever something happens (like maybe she spotted arias’s wedding in vendetta ?) she is deff a part of it and he keeps running into the reader 🙏 i love your work btw you’re the reason why i keep refreshing the tag 💪💜

Hiii

I love this idea lmao and thank you! You are so sweet - I hope you have a great day <3

Warnings: None Fem! reader

RE2:

Post the events of the game let's say he sees you around the training grounds

After the events you both went through at a young age I think he finds it easier to blame you for letting him fall for Ada's tricks

It grows heated and hurts you that he treats you like that around the camp

Krasuer actually makes you sparing partners on purpose hoping that you would hone in your anger and focus on creating your skills

It doesn't work

RE4R:

He sees you as he's running around but almost plays it off as just a figment of his imagination

It would a similar reaction to Ada in the game but let's say he actually is hung up you and has feelings then he would slip up more

He'll expose these feelings more often than showing you he's angry.

I don't think however you would use this to your advantage but find it cute that he is struggling

He's almost drawn to be at your side more than he is to focus on the mission. Ashley's presence is a reminder of what he's meant to be doing

Infinite Darkness:

Grows frustrated at first, like how are you here again

At this point I think he'll just assume the universe thinks you are meant to be together

Again is more likely to draw in close and team up in a way where he's not just straight up being used

He's been there done that

Better at hiding his feelings but does slip up a few times

Damnation:

He's beginning to get used to it at this point, I don't think he would really get mad

I think again it's just surprising how you are always there as a thing in his life and he never seems to know you very well

Playful banter, enough to get through the mission

Kinda accepts what you do as he's just used to it at this point so there's no tension or arguments on that front

He assumes you are hear on orders for someone. Doesn't agree to it but if you don't stop him from doing his job he wont stop you doing yours

RE6:

He surprised you are here, like he just wasn't expecting you to be involved with this plot scheme or that it was that large you would have an interest in it

Smiles to himself every time you talk or do something to help him. He's smitten at this point.

The dynamic has shifted dramatically at this point, there is hidden feelings waiting to be exposed or spoken about.

But when do either of you have the time?

It's just forever left unspoken

It would be easier to deal with it like this but at the end of the day it's too obvious now

The final 'goodbye' is the hardest

Vendetta:

So I think he would actually get annoyed but because he's not in the right frame of mind to deal with the emotions that follow from seeing you

He would provide information for the others about you if you are involved.

When he actually sees you he's silent. Not really talking to you all that much.

After the mission though when he's starting to get in a better mindset I think he will attempt to reach out

Maybe for some stability after all you have been there through literally everything

It could progress romantically but I think that's just what you were both expecting at this point if it does happen.

Soulmates in a way

Death Island:

You are either currently fucking or have fucked recently

Lingering touches when he does see you, its playful and the other don't really know how to react

He's not surprised that you are somehow involved and will stick by your side during the fights just in case

You both meet up together of course

At this point you just accept each others company and allows it to develop in whatever way it does

If it works out then great. If not then until next time.

[charleemoon]

jumping up and down thinking about klapollo. the idea that klavier gavin is an actual famous rock star who has gone platinum multiple times and he falls for. some guy. they have more intertwined history beyond that but genuinely just. a guy he works with SOMETIMES. not even. a guy whose cases overlap with his once in a while. some dude he sees around the courthouse at times. genuine STAR with a huge fanbase and a million connections who has traveled around the world and he falls in love with a boy who is simple and honest. it's like if taylor swift started dating a barista like. could you imagine the pop culture outroar . oh it makes me sick

like it's not entirely the "oh you could have anyone but you want him" like the idea that he genuinely lives a COMPLETELY different life than apollo and most of the characters. two separate worlds and he falls for truth and snarky remarks and from the day he met him, he made him feel a way he hadn't felt before (i don't care if he was just flirting it has IMPLICATIONS). i just love the idea of just crossing paths with apollo completely upends everything klavier thought he knew about his life. his fame, his truth, his family, his entire world flipped on its head, through the unyielding resolute will that is apollo justice. and he just loves him

it's just so interesting to my dynamically it's like idk its the domesticity. i like grand and loving klapollo i love klaviers silly big gestures and ways of showing love but i also love how apollo allows him to be safe in the mundane. in the comfort of quiet morning and breakfast in bed and them spending their lives together just happy to be in it. that he doesnt have to be anyone else but himself with apollo

and that he expresses this attraction through his persona (which maybe be only partially false, he does seem to enjoy himself) and apollo never buys it. they always seem to connect best when klavier isn't focused on playing up an ante or a role (during the chaos of the concert, in 4-4s trial, solving a case together)

and i dunno. imagining klapollo confession where the both of them have to put down these walls they haven't realized they have up (klaviers performantive gestures, apollos dismissiveness in order to be taken seriously) and just admit they want to be in each other's lives. because it makes them happy

i don't even remember what i was SAYING ANYMORE. i just think someday the world invented the best ship ever. i think it should be real. it has to be. foams at the mouth. IT HA

[kryptonbabe]

The Transformers | 1×15 - Fire on the Mountain

Another 1st season fever dream episode in the same veins of Roll for It – with a plot held together by tin foil and some cool light strings. It develops in unexpected ways, and while not always the most logical ones, this show keeps the action fun and the dialogues amusingly silly, making the whole experience worthwhile.

A down point, however, is the sadly anticlimactic comeback of Skyfire, he deserved better than an unexplained resurrection, we could have an emotional moment, an unstable Starscream both angry and relieved with his frienemy's return, chaos, cheering, toxic Megatron lines, robot drama, so much that could've been. But no, apparently Skyfire died and was just chilling in a block of ice waiting to be defrosted again, my boy trapped in cycles of ice ages. At the end though I'm glad he got back so we could have this:

Dead, alive, dead again, alive again, Skyfire remains silly [Chuckling].

We also got an almost treason arc involving Thundercracker and Starscream, which I also wish was more developed because one of my favorite things about the Decepticons is how evil they are with each other, how their organization is not kept by admiration for a leader or strong convictions, but by a thirst for power and mutual fear. The Thundercracker / Starscream conflict on this episode adds to the tension of the already fraught relationship of Megatron and Starscream. Thundercracker's shady intentions are introduced to the power play, adding to the constant scheming of the Decepticons.

"Byyyye!" Mockery & contempt among the Decepticons.

That creates an interesting dynamic between the groups, particularly because the Autobots work closely together and care for each other in ways that make their team work way more effective than that of their enemies.

The difference between Autobot and Decepticon group banter.

I'm not saying anything about the plot, and that's because I don't think it matters much here, there is a story, but only as motivation to keep the characters moving, the focus is mostly on the character interactions and the action scenes. We have great episodes in this 1st season that I truly believe could be adapted into higher budget animation films (or other projects) – like The Ultimate Doom or Countdown to Extinction – this is not one of these, but it's still highly entertaining, a messy and yet joyful experience, much like what I've come to expect from this show, at least at this 1st season.

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

HELP I answered like half of these in my yap session yesterday

I'm just going to answer them anyways XD

Lore and clarification of game dynamics beneath the cut lmfao (I don't have the patience for ask box games today /lh)

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Vizzie currently lives with her mom. Her dad passed away two years ago over the summer under "mysterious circumstances" - which she fully believes her mother had play in. While she has gathered circumstantial evidence, she has nothing substantial. She and her mother were never on good terms, but without the buffer of her father things have only gotten worse. Her change from grade 9 into grade 10 seemed out of the blue/out of character, but nobody has gotten her to open up about it. She doesn't particularly care if her mother were to do the same thing to her as she suspects she did to her father, but the tension at home is far too much to bear continously, thus her finding every reason to not stay at home.

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

She finds her habits interesting. She feels the lovey-dovey act that she puts on after being confronted about following Azul to be extremely artificial - this is just because most emotions that aren't apathy or anger already come off this way to Viz. She likely knows her name and a couple of her classes/what teachers she has. This is pretty standard for most people she meets- she compartmentalizes people's schedules in her head, and knows where people typically are at any given time. This is nothing sinister, it's just information that happens to stick.

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

I would like to think she and Azul met in grade 9/the equivalent during some sort of spelling or science competition. While they're not quite as close as they used to be, she will sometimes rib him about academic achievements, and has his phone number. They're good friends, but she's definitely closer to Floyd now than she is with Azul.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs? (THIS IS DYNAMIC!! I CAN AND WILL ADD TO THIS IF OTHER PEOPLE WANT TO CHAT/COLLABORATE!!)

Floyd - honestly, the only person she feels she can act her age around. She loosens up around him - not enough to open up, actually, they know like NOTHING about each other, they just. Vibe. Ride or Die friends. One of the few people that makes her genuinely happy.

Jade - More casual friends. She eats lunch with him sometimes, and they text each other niche microbio/myc-olgy memes :D

Cater - He's a year ahead of her, but her dad (and her) helped him and his family move into their place at the beginning of her grade 9 year/his grade 10. They live down the street from each other, so he would walk her to and from school, and sometimes, to avoid the rising tension at home, she would hang out at his place. She used to walk him through his homework because she would study extra just to try and impress him. He painted her phone case as a thank you. (NOTE: THIS IS NOT MY AU. THIS IS LORE I'M MAKING UP ON THE SPOT. IF IT DOESN'T FIT/OP HAS DIFFERENT IDEAS, THIS IS NULL.) /lh/gen

@distant-velleity Yuhua - friends that fell out over misunderstandings :( She misses his company, but feels that her associating with him might drag him down with her. She knows the standard he holds himself to. She knows she's also been more bristly, harder to talk to, but if not even her former best friend could see past the mask she wears, maybe it's for the better she's no longer 'best friends' with him anyways...

Game Mechanic: If Quartz can make Viz and Yuhua make-up, they'll be able to incapacitate/distract Floyd for some time. This can be achieved by

Sending both of them to detention (medium difficulty, a few hours)

Obtaining Vizzie's journal and giving it to Yuhua (extreme difficulty, the entire next day)

@boopshoops Yuu Shi - Unlikely friends. Viz needed a favour and she paid a good price - Yuu Shi is the only person thus far that has been allowed to read any entry she wants from Vizzie's journal. In exchange, Viz was lent keys long enough to make a replicate of a store room key, and the roof access key. After that, the two keep in touch via post it notes - some are cute, but some hold more significant meaning.

Game Mechanic: If Quartz can get to the sticky notes before Yuu Shi does, (as they are left on the outside of her locker), she may find clues that pertain to Viz and Yuu Shi's future meeting spots to exchange info, puzzles to find out certain people's phone passcodes, or a hint as to where a weapon or usable item may be hidden.

If Quartz is caught by Viz, she'll only end up telling Yuu Shi so as to have someone who is more...influential to start up an embarrassing rumour with some truth to it, or planted evidence to make it true. The sticky notes will no longer be on the outside of Yuu Shi's locker. (They'll find another way)

@alestrameria Yukari - Toxic, one-sided Yuri? (Not on Vizzie's half)

Overall, Viz is a ride or die type of friend once you get to that level of trust. You won't know when you've achieved that though :)

5. What grade/year is your OC? Answered here!

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

At this point, she's holding on for the kids she babysits and for her birthday to roll around- so she can finally move out of her mom's goddamned house and maybe hire a P.I to open her dad's case again.

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Honestly, being framed makes her a little bit excited, but she'll try not to show it. To her it's a puzzle, it's a matter of backtracking both Quartz's interactions and demeanor. This is a competition, and she doesn't intend to loose. She takes the accusation in stride, but the old 'honour student' comes out. She's direct and concise with her alibi, can and will manipulate the situation to her advantage. After all, she had her mom to learn from :)

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Nope! She's armed too and she hates the school uniform. Might tell Quartz that it's showing. Depending on how Quartz responds/their friendship level at that point, she may offer to modify her skirt for her, so that the pockets blend more seamlessly into the folds of the skirt, making it more difficult to detect anything in her pockets. If Quartz has pissed her off, when Quartz has gym class she'll be cutting the bottoms out of her skirt pockets. She makes a point of wearing gloves and using her old school uniform, new hairdo, and a mask to be harder to identify. Lockers ain't got shit on her.

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

She tends to be a bit of a floater during lunch. She doesn't mind keeping her own company, but she likes quieter places. She compulsively memorizes people's schedules - it's really not something she wants occupying her brain space but it does, so if there's someone she wants to meet with or...observe in particular, she usually knows where to go. During school, she skips most of the classes, hiding out in the greenhouse, a storage room, or on the roof of the building....she likes the roof.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Despite the shit she's been through, she was a gifted kid. Now she's just not putting in the same amount of effort, but she's still averaging A-/B+ in most classes. All her assignments are still in on time, and she's there for tests, but she no longer ties her grades to her self-esteem. Her grades still aren't 'good enough' for her mom.

ANYWAYS

There's my yapparoony fest FOR NOW mwahahaha

(No Yan Sim AU) Questions for OCs! + Quartz and other characters' lore

You don't have to do these if you don't want to! You can write and answer how ever you want (3rd person or as the OC)

These answers are just examples and they also give lore to other TWST characters in the AU

1. Does your OC have parents or family in the AU? If not, what is their current living situation?

Riddle currently lives with his mother. Because of her influence, he is the strictest in the student council (which consists of the dormleaders.)

2. What are their thoughts on Quartz?

[You can yap about it here since I already used Quartz as an example in the fourth question]

3. What is their thoughts and relationship with Azul? How did they meet Azul?

Jade is Azul's right hand man. He assists Azul with a lot of student council work and is mostly by his side with Floyd. They are friends from their middle school days and up to their highschool days (although the three of them won't admit it).

Jade found Azul's hardwork and scheming nature very exciting so he and his brother always stayed by Azul's side to see what fun events would happen.

4. What are their relationships with other characters/OCs?

[They are speaking about Quartz as example]

Floyd: "Who again?"

Floyd doesn't really acknowledge Quartz since she's so quick out of his sights. Genuinely believes there isn't a person named that but is suspicious.

Jade: "Oh, that shy girl? She's a little funny."

Definitely suspicious of Quartz but they don't interact much so he has no other information about her. He probably needs to be more skillful when studying her.

Riddle: "Quartz?.. Uh.. I-I don't recall who that is."

Quartz rarely interacts with Riddle.

Ace: "Ah? You mean that girl who's always so weird? I've seen her watch Azul. Pffftt! Do you think she likes him?"

He notices her sometimes because he thinks her appearance is a little flashy.

Idia: "I-Isn't she one of Azul's admirers?... She's the shy type right? She's a little strange though.. Sometimes she takes photos of me! W-Wait.. Maybe she's into me instead?! EEEKK!! H-HOW SCARY!!"

Completely misunderstands Quartz's actions but he's quick to know how weird her actions are. He stays away from her if Azul isn't present.

5. What grade/year is your OC?

Azul, Jade, and Floyd are all 2nd years (17).

Leona has been held back so he is still 20.

6. What is your OCs goal for the school year or in life?

Quartz wishes to kill Azul 🙏

7. Your OC is being framed for murder of another student by Quartz, how does your OC react to that? Does your OC know it's Quartz?

Floyd is jumping her.

8. Your OC notices Quartz carrying a weapon in her skirt pocket. That's strange since the female school uniforms don't have skirt pockets. Does your OC report this?

Riddle is absolutely reporting that! He's calling the cops and everything 🫡🫡🫡

9. Where is your OC usually with or at during school? Classes? With Azul? Skipping class? Where do they eat lunch?

Quartz is always in class but she'll come right before the bell rings since she was.. busy. She doesn't have a particular place she goes to all the time. She's never in one spot.

Quartz's lunch spot varies because she's always spying but her usual spot is in the courtyard.

Riddle is assigned being a hall monitor so he usually watches the halls when he is able to. He usually eats lunch with Trey and Cater.

Leona is always found napping under trees and skipping his classes. Ruggie manages to find him and give him his lunch from the cafeteria.

Rook is watching you.

10. How are your OC's grades?

Deuce tries, ok. (Awful)

[centrally-unplanned]

So something you often hear as a criticism - or praise depending on the context - of the Republican factions is their loyalty, of how much they "shut up and march" even when sidelined in order to win. I won't get into the reality of that (they are stronger relative to Dems, but that is more about Dems just faceplanting than them being super amazing at this), instead I want to highlight the pro-life faction for a second.

A probably-effective move of the Trump campaign was to pretty much shove the pro-lifers in the closet. Trump pledged to never support an abortion ban, he pledged to subsidize IVF for all Americans, he said "this is a state's rights issue, they got that, we are done now". And the pro-life faction pretty much didn't budge an inch in support, they took it all on the chin, that much is true. The question is, how smart is this to do?

I think a lot of the criticism is kind of misguided. It is essentially saying "why aren't you stupid?" It is really common for a faction's "motte" demands to be politically popular and perhaps sustainable, but their "bailey" demands to be outside the overton window. If they push for them it just won't work. A smart faction knows when it is time to double down on defense instead of going on offense. Abortion seems clearly in that camp in the US - people are gonna get used to some states not having abortions while their state does. In a certain sense the pro-life faction was really smart.

But not that smart! Because, well, let's see what their win got them:

Oh. Turns out people really, really like abortions, and if you make them illegal in "some states" they will go elsewhere or smuggle in pills. Maybe should have thought of that, before, well before being pro-life? But anyway, pro-lifers generally believe in their stance - it isn't an excuse to Hate Women or w/e, they really, truly think that millions of babies are being murdered. And all they accomplished was increasing the murder rate slightly. They failed! Completely, totally. They haven't won an inch.

Now obviously that is "from a certain point of view", and ofc you can see this as a Step 1. But I think a lot of pro-life people won't really see it that way - people just really suck at the math of policy efficacy. By no means is this unique to their faction, everyone confuses the symbolic and the real. Many will say "well it isn't happening next to me" and consider that a win. Others won't, of course - and tension will eventually emerge over this, now that Trump is in power we are gonna see! But still, it is interesting how often people in politics just think they are winning, and how much that shapes coalitional dynamics.

[obsidianpen]

After reading No Glory and Hauntingly, it's hard to enjoy hetero romance, and it's not just because your way of writing is elite; there could be so many reasons that I went hardcore m/m and f/f shipper. Like, I am dead serious when I say my favorite telenovela pairing is Luisa x Rose from Jane the Virgin. So, I am really, really excited for your original work, and even more stoked that you decided it to be an m/m pair. But yeah, would love to know why you decided that?

you know, it was an interesting thought process that involved a lot of self reflecting. There’s definitely controversy around women writing gay male romance. Most of it is, I think, bullshit, and the arguments such as ‘its fetishizing’ are way off base (no, that would be male directors and producers creating plotless w/w porn, imo). But it was a Big Question: why should I, J…Jamie (lmao I’m almost more OP than myself anymore when I’m online) write a story with a bi male lead, when I’m a female (I love writing bis okay we need more of us!!) ? The reason I like writing Harry/Tom has everything to do with their dynamic and roles in the canon, and nothing to do with the gender. Id ship them regardless. In fact I probably would have realized I shipped them sooner if it was f/m; I was just too young at the time to realize that’s what I was rooting for because I was a bit sheltered in that regard.

anyway - so yeah, why am I still interested in m/m outside of fanfiction? I asked myself, staring at the mirror. So I wrote a little bit out of this original idea, one version as a female lead and once as a male, and you know, it was a pretty interesting exercise. When I was writing a male protagonist, I was… calm? Idk, I didn’t overthink him. I knew who he was and I just wrote what he did and what he thought. But when I was writing a the female version, my anxiety was so much higher! I found myself agonizing over every bit of her personality, worrying if people would find her ‘too this’ or ‘too that’, too predictable, too pretty, not pretty enough, too tough, too weak, etc etc. I felt like no matter who I made her, people would be upset and fucking hate her. And then I realized, oh. This is probably why so many women authors like writing male leads. Because that agonizing feeling, that’s how it is to be a woman, all the time. And it’s so relieving to get to leave that behind when writing a male lead. Maybe this is all deeply problematic on my part, I’m not sure. Internalized misogyny? I don’t think so, just the bleak reality. But yes I likely have issues lmaaao

Another reason was simply that the last original work I wrote has a female lead, so I thought I’d switch it up again. Writing an m/m story is what got me into writing in the first place, so it feels weirdly like have to acknowledge that in new projects I take seriously, too?

and to acknowledge that story I already wrote with the female lead - Starlings - I agonized quite a bit less over her, and in hindsight, I think it’s because she’s a child. She goes through puberty during the story, surrounded by older women, and there are almost no men in the whole thing, so the dynamic is totally different. It’s not big on the romance, either, which also helps. So yeah. No anxiety there. But with a grown ass woman in a story that’s centered quite a bit around a super problematic romance? Anxiety. Anxiety for days. I also feel this anxiety when I write Hermione, btw.

there will definitely be a different kind of worrying writing this new original thing, though - writing a gay magical romance set in southern 1920s America is gonna require a TON of research, and I’m not taking that lightly. But that worrying isn’t nearly as personal, which makes a lot of difference.

I’m interesting in other people’s opinions on this! So please share if you’re willing. 🌸

[420technoblazeit]

so interesting 2 me how the spin of mels canon voicelines abt viktor casts her as being disappointed in him post-herald moment. narrative parallel to viktor being disappointed in mel about how she is handling her power in ur fic. to me. they both saw someone they thought was completely admirable and idolized them (without looking beyond their mask) and both feel let down by the others insatiable humanity ♡ (their lack of compassion for each other at their lowest moments despite their overflowing compassion for most others reads to me as seeing themselves in each other and externalizing their self-hatred. btw)

AH I FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS ASK ive been thinking abt it a lot as ive been writing the next chapter. your analysis is SO good i feel so honored that you've been thinking so much about my fic and characterization of these two. i do think that viktor and mel have this kind of complicated relationship where even independent of jayce they see each other as being different than the other people in piltover. mel i think really appreciated viktor for putting scientific progress over personal gain and pursuing a peaceful solution even if she didn't initially agree on his refusal to make any hextech weapons. they're both pacifists who prefer diplomatic solutions and she respected that. in the same way viktor began to see mel as different from the other councilors because she was the only one other than jayce to really fight for the peace treaty in the council. that and her belief in his and jayce's shared dream was probably a big deal for him, a zaunite who felt out of place and underappreciated in piltover

i think what i'm getting at, and i'll expand on this more in the fic bc it deserves exploration, is that viktor's disappointment that mel isn't standing up to her family is born out of two things. one, the obvious class divide between them where viktor was born in zaun and had to work for his place in the academy. i think it would be natural for him to not so much harbor resentment against mel for her upper class status, but have complicated feelings about what she does with her privilege. she fought for the peace treaty with jayce but i don't really think she was on the front lines fighting for equality for the undercity because it wasn't a priority for her. the great thing about mel as a character is that she has selfish intentions initially and then puts those aside as she distances herself from her family

but the other part of viktor's disapproval is that he's fresh off the whole herald thing. a situation where he, while under the influence of the arcane, abused the power he had over people and led them to their deaths. i think postcanon viktor would be hyperaware of power dynamics and imbalances and i think to some extent he's projecting that guilt over what he did onto mel and that's part of why he's being so hard on her. viktor sees mel's running away from her family as being complicit to some extent to their crimes. and it's true that she is kind of running away from her problems here but he's also refusing to be compassionate to her current situation because he doesn't think he deserves that same compassion

[kars-stan-3000]

About me:

Hello, you can call me Joni - I was born in 2005 and I am a writer, drawer, cosplayer and general content creator.

My pronouns are she/they/he/it - feel free to use whatever for me, I do not mind at all. I am a genderfluid lesbian, taken and I love my girlfriend. My account is a safe space, intended to support and welcome anyone and create a safe community.

I vow to do that for you all.

Anyway, so let's get into who I am.

My interests:

Jojo's bizzare adventure 🗣 (main, if you can't tell)

My favourite jojo characters are here (in a tier list, relatively in order too)

I am the real-life embodiment of Jonathan and Giorno - call me a real-life JoJo with the way I capture the Joestar genes.

I love making tier lists. I have loads of them.

Creating (art, stories, cosplays)

I like to create - it's my biggest passion, which will definitely be on my blogs. I draw and write mostly jojo fan-material, so that's a heads up.

I'm planning on getting into cosplay, I have a list and everything I need to buy planned out just don't have the finance to YET but I will start, soon, probably going to post about my cosplans next.

Music

I quite literally listen to anything, I love music - having studied it at school I just appreciate music as a whole. I love goth music (thanks to my girlfriend for supplying me with a fantastic playlist), I love anything alternative, I adore the jojo ost - I think the creativity behind them is magnificent, I listen to some classical music, jazz, pop - literally anything.

I think music is the window to the soul, it's the easiest way to communicate for me, I use music to not only cope BUT I also use music to express emotions that I usually can't express. Music is addicting, I truly appreciate the creativity that musicians have.

My princess (my girlfriend)

I love my girlfriend, she's the greatest, prettiest most stunning goddess on earth and there's nothing you can do to hope to compare to her (sorry), she's so perfect, my darling girl needs to know how gorgeous she is to me. #needthat

Me and my wife, gonna wife her up one day, she's literally stunning (ps, she's Abbacchio, I'm Bucciarati)

Jojos 🗣‼️

Top five (if you didn't see the tier list above):

Secco - my SON, I LOVE MY SON - my son is amazing, if you don't like Secco you can FUCK OFF

Giorno - literally me. Trauma, personality, everything is the same as myself I relate HEAVILY to Giorno, my beautiful Giorno

Jonathan - literally me, I love Jonathan, he's so sweet

Jotaro - my HUSBAND, oh my God I LOVE Jotaro, he is amazing, well written, complex just perfect (bonus, I LOVE Star Platinum)

Dio - I love Dio, they are complicated, well written, layered, they look amazing #needthat, my KING, I adore Dio, one of the best villains I've read so far - my genderfluid, bisexual pretty vampire

Haven't finished it yet, so I don't have a favourite part at the moment - however, I just love it as a whole, it's all amazing

My top ten Stands:

Star Platinum

The World

Cream

Metallica

Baby Face

Oasis

Heaven's Door

The Greatful Dead

Golden Experience

White Album

My favourite groups in jojos:

The Pillar Men (including Santana): I LOVE the Pillar Men, they are amazing, I adore them - I would have them all as my top favourites BUT they're not because there are characters I like more, I just love the Pillar Men for different reasons. I love their lore, their dynamic, their everything is just. Yes. Perfect. Beautiful

La Squadra: UNDERRATED in all hell, I love La Squadra, all the characters are funny, their designs are cool, I love their Stands, their lore, the reason behind why they are doing everything they do in part 5 is just amazing - their storyline is beautifully tragic

Any group in jojos that contains Jotaro: must I explain? I will anyway, I love Jotaro and the groups he's a part of all have beautifully intricate dynamics and I find the way they're all written to be fascinating

Bucci gang: I love Bucciarati's group, their dynamic is the best by far - I love their found family vibe and heavily lean into that in all my fandom creations

Dio's followers (minus the REALLY SHITTY ONES (you all know)): solely because I think it's absurd about the Stands and people they chose like what???

My art:

I usually study Araki's art style, I love developing my own skill whilst studying his creations because his style literally blew life into my own creativity - if it wasn't for jojo I fear I wouldn't be able to create anymore, my burnout was BAD, terrible even, until I was introduced to jojos thanks to my girlfriend.

I can't wait to share my art and I hope when I improve enough to be able to do commissions, I can't YET but I will be doing commissions when I feel ready to.

I draw anything sfw and nsfw (just because I can, I think it's funny) - although my favourite things to draw are jojo characters or jojo ocs, I know I know you're probably tired of jojos but I am NOT.

Jojos saved my creativity.

Interactions, moots and important stuff:

I am usually friendly to anyone, as I said this is a safe space, unless you are the following (aka my dni):

General dni, (r*cist, p*do, anti-lgbt etc)

Pro-ship (please fuck off)

Infantalising, stereotyping, demonising and sexualising mental health issues, disorders, disabilities (mental and physical) and any other issues - get the fuck off my page you sad little shits

THOSE art critics who "fix" other art non-consensually

People who sexualise alternative people - again, fuck off

I highly encourage the following to interact though:

Jojo fans

Artists, writers, cosplayers

Goths

Lgbtqia+

If you want to be a mutual, then feel free to dm me to talk bout it! I have a few images below that summarise my interests, I am always ALWAYS willing to talk to people.

^ Kira Yoshikage, drawn by yours truly (I love this, it's an old character study) ^

Alt accounts and my wife:

Check out this account, this is my darling: @miistafucker

Here are all my alts (can not figure out how to mention them so take the links) -

Giorno - the-real-giorno

This is my ART BLOG ✨️

I upload my art here, mostly, love that for me - anyway, yeah so this is full of my art process, sketches and my journey and all that - because I adore art and want to share that

Dio - king-dio

This is my COSPLAY BLOG 🗣‼️

This is where I post my cosplay journey, talk about it etc, follow this is you wanna keep up with that

Santana - sleepy-santana

This is my jojo content that is NOT art or fanfic based

This is where I post any other jojo content, usually theories, memes, thoughts and feelings etc

Joni - joni-joestar

This is my REAL BLOG 💯

This is where I post rants; things that bother me, my girlfriend, my personal thoughts and feelings - kind of like a personal, general blog

Melone - melone-the-freakazoid

This is my WRITERS BLOG 😈

This is where I post fanfiction (specifically jojo fanfiction), I love Melone so based this one off of Melone because it makes me laugh, if you like fanfiction follow along here to have a regular flow of fan made material

Rohan - i-am-rohan-kishibe

This is my OFFICIAL PORTFOLIO BLOG 😱✨️💯🗣🗣‼️‼️

This is where I post any art that I believe is to my standards as part of an official portfolio for future commissions, this will be updated slowly (given I'm still improving), but it will be updated rest assured

The Giorno blog will always contain the speed-draws/speed-paints of the art I create, though

Pillar Men - number-1-kars-fan

This is my PILLAR MEN ACCOUNT 🎉

I literally post ONLY Piller Men content on here, I love them a lot and could talk about them 24/7 365. They're so cherished by me they have their whole separate blog (sorry Jotaro)

"But Joni, what content can I expect on here if all your stuff is on there?"

I hear you, and let me tell you - whilst there isn't much else that one could put here, I have SOMETHING

This is going to be my information centre where I put super duper important updates - and potentially my reblog account, where I reblog content from my fyp that I like OR from my alts (if they're from my alts I'll literally say "reblogged from [alt name], check it out!"

Anyway, aside from that, I can't think of anything else. Don't feel shy, feel free to comment, like, interact - I can not WAIT to start posting content.

You can find me on TikTok under the same name and on Instagram as "kars-stan-30000" as opposed to 3000

Anyway, here are some photos for more about me stuff:

[vrischlatt]

I DO NOT LIKE WILBUR. I may not like shubble either, but here the thing even if i dont like her...

Im not a fucking wilbur supporter.

Wilbur is a shitty person, and the fact it took Shleby, a person whos had a LOT of holes poked into her story, but probably still was abused in the same way Wilbur abused everyone around him, ESPECIALLY TOMMY AND QUACKITY.

Ive had people tell me theres a lot of suspicious patturns of behevoir in the dynamic of Tommy and Wilbur that scream heyyyy Tommy, especially when he was a minor should NOT be left alone with this Wilbur guy! The extents of which we will NEVER know, because while its easy for Tommy to dunk on Dream, he could NEVER dunk on Wilbur.

Shelby was a wake up call for Tommy. Tommy probably needs to go to serious fucking therapy after stepping back and reexamining his dynamic with Wilbur. Because the abuse is subtle and incased DEEPLY into Tommy's psyche. His humor is of im better than you, im richer than you, woman arent funny, drugs, is EXTRMELY influenced by Wilbur's own "humor" and shitty behvoir, which people are quick to call out, but conviently ignore when Tommy does it.

Its too the point that early showings of the how to be a millionaire had hints that Wilbur was ACTUALLY meant to be refrenced in the show, by name, but the drama dropped and he probably was hastily written out of it, implying the show was based off his quote book, which he co wrote with wilbur he makes an appearence in the book but it was his book first and formost.

Like that one clip for example, of Wilbur barking at Tommy to shut up, and instead of protesting or cracking a joke like he would do with ANYONE ELSE, he... shuts up. Uncharacteristically, shuts up. Apparently further context was he may or may not be talking about something he and Wilbur did, and Wilbur refused to let Tommy spill the beans on what happened and NO ONE TO THIS DAY KNOWS WHAT HE WAS GONNA SAY BUT HIM AND WILBUR.

Also obviously the smashing the hand with the foot, and he was oddly harsher if not out righr crueler when he didnt think he was on live stream with Tommy, changing his tune when he realized thousands of people were watching him.

Its got a lot people wondering what hes like off camera honestly and KNOWS hes off camera.

Its so bad its lead me to believe Wilbur... wasnt roleplaying in the skilled actor who plays a facade way, but was playing as a self insert, as himself, and could avertly be more open about who he was by playing it off as a character.

Speaking of him as a roleplayer he was NOT good to his fellow CCs as roleplayers, and was nortious for trying to force ideas on them- sich as fundys character being a girl because he wanted a daughter irl apparently that was the reason i guess so he forced fundy to be his kid for some reason and to be his daughter, which Fundy wanted very little part in, hence where him being trans orginal came from, it was him trying to met part way with Wilbur, and even protested to having his character be a minor.

Which yknow, some of the fandom FUCKING IGNORED.

Hes also done similar to Quackity, plus some. Hes honestly an ass friend to Quackity. And i feel so fucking bad for Quackity.

Also if he cant be the one writing the lore, or cant control other peoples lore he generally looses interest. See point: as DSMp continued and more CCs took control of their stories, he kinda either left and generally stopped streaming or gave his character generally less to do.

Also he generally refused to the show up for Karl's side series, a series even SCHLATT who killed off his character showed up for. So. Yeah. Also on QSMP? Basically abandoned it, even after Quackity lore baited him to join SO HARD MAN. I honestly do NOT like Tallulah and hot take dont think she should ever been added and is a mistake on Quackity's part. She was ALWAYS doomed to have been abandoned by wilbur and everyone should have seen it coming. I hold no sympathy for those who genuinely thought he was ever coming back.

Sorry not sorry, minus Quackity. Im sorry to him because unlike fans he was personally affected by this, even if i seem fit to critize him for it, i do so gently and knly hold sympathy for him on this matter. No one else. Minus the egg who yknow played the egg, and got played by Wilbur. Even if i dont like the egg, being in that situation where you have to be the bait to get wilbur with his self centered short ass attention span fucking ass is NOT a fun postion to be in. Your fucked from the start and they didnt even seem to realize it until too late either.

Wilbur is just generally a bitch, and im glas i never joined the fandom for Lmanberg. I joined for Las Nevadas, for the eggpire for Manberg, not jokeass over here.

And look, im not here to bash on his music. I like his music and i do not give two shits if you still listen to his music. Either through him directly or from someone else reuploading his works or a remix of it or whatever. Look i get it, his music is like the one redeeming thing about it, even if its not a good enough of redeemingly quality to ignore and forgive all the fucking assholary this man gets up to.

Hes EXTRMELY dickish, and whether or not you believe shleby or not should not subtract or distract you from the fucking fsct hes NEVER a good person, hes just a likable person who is good at charming people.

Worst still is hes probably actually happy all of this happened because he doesnt have put up a facade and "deal" with people he clearly has no respecr for and never did, and treat them like accommodations he has to put up and he ignores as his own convience.

[dangermousie]

Awwww, I ship it now.

Their dynamics are very much FL x SML only he's going to get the girl (insofar as they will let anyone get together) and it's so interesting because the Magistrate is very much more my type in terms of character/looks/dynamic etc but - as I was telling @aysekira - it's like LYF where if it was me, I'd be climbing Xiang Liu like a ladder - but it so very much makes sense that for LYF FL it can only be 17.

I get why it will ultimately be the governor's son for FL (and I appreciate that even as late as 26 out of 36 eps in, it's slow going - she smacks him and bolts after the kiss because her history has given her such issues about trusting or relying on or loving men.) Because of his circumstances, he can dedicate himself to her and put her first and have the time/energy to woo her utterly the way the Magistrate simply cannot, as a man with his own path and career and ambition and simply being older and thus having more of a life/goals/views before he met FL.

FL's complex issues and background make it hard going for any man to get close (and once Magistrate broke her trust, even if she later found out it was to get her the freedom papers, psychologically she cannot go back to that trust. She does not in the least blame him and is in fact grateful to and appreciative of him, but emotionally her heart slammed back shut. Not to mention that she is not a person to ever fight for being with a man, and she'd have to fight to be with him. Now that I think about it, she is very much like LYF FL only in proper costume setting.)

Interestingly, we learned she was the daughter of a minor official which means that with the papers in hand her status is not terrible - it's still very very far removed from the status needed for the wife of the governor's son (even the youngest "spare" one) but this latest mess shows that it's not that she will get elevated but more likely that his family will be brought down. Hmmmmm.

[blainehasregrets]

What’s your view of the Blam crush?

Also you should tag your meta with character name as it’s not being seen, only by your followers.

It makes sense Blaine would find someone to project on/have a crush on in the meantime while he’s broken up with Kurt, since he’s someone who loves love (Silly Love Songs comes to mind), but he gets over it pretty fast (he could barely even think of any good parts of Sam’s personality in Tina In The Sky With Diamonds lol I also think quite a few Blamtina scenes felt very much like Blaine completely forgot he ever had a crush on Sam) with, in my opinion, little lasting effects.

I feel like, since Blaine moved on so quickly and just went back to Literally planning his wedding with Kurt like nothing, it showed being rejected by Sam didn’t foster any hurt, resentment, or regrets inside of him. He literally just did not care anymore lol Whereas I think Kurt’s crush on Finn and even interest in Sam, though brief and done after their arcs were over, continued to affect him going forward. Those events definitely furthered his communication issues and knocked down his self esteem, which in turn ended up causing problems within his relationship with Blaine.

Though I do think Kurt ultimately loved and chose to be with Blaine because it’s what he wanted, I felt he sometimes had this belief that nobody but Blaine would ever love him. Ex: Saying “I don’t think I’m ever gonna find someone else who’s going to make me feel [safe, connected, and loved like Blaine].” in Love, Love, Love. But I don’t think Blaine had that same fear?

I mean, sure, abandonment issues are the go-to thing people talk about when it comes to Blaine, but I think his abandonment issues were like. Solely focused on being abandoned by Kurt. (Note how he didn’t give a fuck about abandoning the Warblers himself…they loved him so much and worshipped the ground he walked on and yet he left them as soon as Kurt said “I want to spend every minute of everyday…with you♥️” in PPP. Blaine would take that hyperbolic statement to heart and make it his life’s mission to accomplish just that.) I don’t think he ever thought “I have no choice! Nobody but Kurt will ever love me! 😩” It was more like “I don’t CARE about anyone else, even if another person proposed to me right now, I only want KURT!!!!!” Ex: Never pursued Sebastian despite all of his flirting, literally about to throw up after he had sex with Eli (and I think it’s interesting Blaine says “I cheated on the one person I love more than anything in the world” in Dynamic Duets, like that’s his takeaway here. It’s not about feeling like Kurt is his only option, it’s that Blaine wants his only option to be Kurt, which is made more obvious with how he could and did hook up with Eli, yet doing so just made him think “wow I really only gaf about Kurt”), had a crush on straight guy Sam which would clearly go nowhere (and could be argued to just be projection and a safe way to experience a crush without it being reciprocated…), dated Dave as a power move more than anything (and this could come with its own set of 5 canon scenes to link to and explain), and does not even care to give Jeremiah a second thought in Transitioning. Though maybe blangst fans would disagree lol

And okay I got ramble-y there for a second, but that’s all to explain why I don’t think Blaine ultimately cared too much about his crush on Sam after the fact!

And while it may be classic Klainer cope, I do think the song he sang “to Sam” in Guilty Pleasures fit Kurt better!

Also thank you for reminding me! I need to organize my tags a little more in general… I went back and fixed up my last post a little (it’s still more messy than I’d like and I also want to add more specific canon scenes as evidence 😔 I’ll have to keep working on it) and tagged it! I’m so used to writing my glee thoughts on private accounts I forget other people can and want to see this stuff…

[ahamkara-apologist]

OKAY I did not, in fact, forget about this, I merely got very distracted painting miniatures and thus did not actually get onto my computer until now. Time to explain what's been haunting me since Revenant's cutscene showing the Whirlwind occurred and why I think that the horror of the Eliksni losing their homeworld is, if anything, understated. Nor do I think that most fans really understand it either, bc it's a tragedy that's so profound that it just wraps right around to being unbelievable again

So, for starters, I have a bachelor's degree in evolutionary genetics (which is barely anything, but it's enough for me to know that there's a lot I don't know yada yada yada) and work as a researcher in a behavioral genetics lab. We primarily focus on neurodevelopmental disorders, including autism, and I work with the autism models because I'm interested in understanding what genes are interlinked with social behavior. Which is a lot of yapping to say that I work on figuring out what behaviors are intrinsic to a species and what are not...as much as you can attempt to make those claims. We study environmental effects on development and behavior just as much as we study purely genetic ones.

Here's the thing: we cannot fully separate ourselves from our environment. We're merely one thread woven into the full tapestry of the world around us, specifically molded to fit our spot in the ecosystem. Much like an ocean tumbled to a smooth circle by the churning of the tides, our species is the way that it is because of a series of random mutagenic events boosting reproductive success over millions and millions of years. Not only that, but we're dynamic beings as well; our patterns of gene expression can change throughout the course of our life, and does so often in response to great amounts of stress. Sometimes- but not often- these changes are heritable. And, as we are starting to figure out, moving people away from naturalistic environments is often seen by our bodies as a source of stress; people tend to have much better health when they have the ability to interact with and immerse themselves in nature, doubly so when animals are involved. One of the reasons why going out on walks is an effective aid for depressive symptoms is because being among trees reduces stress in of itself. Children who grow up with pets are healthier, and learning to work with animals increases empathy, lowers stress, and primes the immune system.

What happens, then, when access to those outdoors becomes shut off forever? When everything else around you goes extinct? What happens when beautiful fields and woodlands are replaced by the cold metal walls of a ketch, and hours spent roaming with livestock animals or listening to birdsong is replaced with the dim roar of the engines and the whir of machines? Eido speaks about the shanks of House Light with the fondness we might equate to a pet, but it's not the same as being with a real, living animal, feeling its heartbeat and sharing its breath. We know from Inaaks and Namrask's accounts that the times in the Drift grew dire enough that the corpses of the dead were used for sustenance, so pets and major livestock animals certainly did not survive to Sol. Likely only plants and farmed invertebrates (like Misraaks's pickled leeches) were able to be sustained on the ketches due to their simpler life cycles; companion animals are out of the question. In terms of more complex Riisian lifeforms, the Eliksni stand alone.

That's to say nothing of what the absence of a natural circadian rhythm might do; in humans, major depressive disorders and vitamin D deficiency can result from insufficient exposure to sunlight, whereas in birds and other reptiles, anything from impaired reproductive cycles and internal clocks (birds) to metabolic bone disease (lizards and turtles) can result from insufficient exposure to light/dark cycles and UV light. I'm sure that the Eliksni have fake solar lights, given that their society was much more advanced than ours was, but...what if it wasn't good enough? What if those lights had to be stripped for parts, so that better

One of the studies that we do is something called limited bedding and nesting, where pups are reared on a wire cage floor with barely any nesting materials, compared to our standard cages, where the moms get as much soft bedding as they wish. It's an assay done to study how early life adversity affects development on both a somantic and neurological front. Overall, pups reared in LBN environments tend to show significant developmental delays in both somatic and neurological milestones, increased anxiety and depressive-like behaviors, altered risktaking behavior, and cognitive impairments when compared against pups reared in a typical, low-stress environment. Additionally, stress on the mothers tend to result in over-anxious or physically rough means of handling their pups, which is sometimes seen as analogous to abuse. And these are studies where the mother and the pups are given constant access to food and water on a consistent light/dark cycle at a set temperature point; malnutrition or insufficient light/dark cycles is not a factor. I think it's safe to say that life on the ketches during the Drift was much worse than what mice in a lab might experience, and that such hardships did not end in Sol- drekhs and vandals are canonically stunted in growth, with drekhs barely getting enough ether to survive. Sure, some might make it to being captain-sized (aka, the proper size for an adult Eliksni), but they still had to go through that deprivation period to get to it. Which means that it could be possible that Eramis and Inaaks's generation were the last group of Eliksni to develop normally, and everyone hatched post-Whirlwind is deeply fucked up on a biological level

That's not even getting into epigenetics. One of the ways that animals survive rapid changes in their environment or overly stressful events is through epigenetic modification, where the DNA itself is altered in such a way that gene expression changes. I'm not going to get into the technical details of it, but a drastically simplified version can be read like this: your DNA is kind of like a bunch of scrolls on how to make a living organism, with multiple copies on those instructions (ideally with a little variation). Over your lifetime, some of those scrolls are rolled up so that they cannot be read (and thus cannot be transcribed), while some of them are unrolled so that they can be read out (and thus transcribed). Highly traumatic or stressful events, however, can force a LOT of those scrolls that were previously open to be rolled up, and more of those that were previously closed to be rolled out, resulting in a noticible change in gene expression. The vast majority of the time these are somatic changes and are thus non-heritable, but sometimes when the event is traumatizing enough (as in, surviving a life-or-death event), they can affect the germ cells as well, resulting in heritable mutations- such as the children of famine survivors trending towards having higher fat retention than their parents. Such an event was so traumatizing that it altered their parent's genetics to make them more effective at surviving the threat that their predecessors faced.

I think it's safe to say that the literal apocalypse is a bit of a stressful event. Assuming that the Eliksni have genetic material that functions similar enough to our DNA for epigenetic mechanisms to work similarly, and the fact that all survivors of the Whirlwind would have put under that same stress...well. Epigenetic mutations are almost always erased, but there's a small chance that they're passed down a generation, and the more people you put in that situation, the higher the chances are of that happening. The Whirlwind and the Long Drift might have altered the gene pool more than just bottlenecking it to hell and back. I don't think that there's been enough generations since the Whirlwind to see the long-term effects just yet, but the short-term ones would certainly be noticible by now. Sol-born Eliksni are likely significantly different from Riis-born Eliksni in terms of health and developmental milestones after the gauntlet of shit that they went through.

TLDR: These crabs aren't just depressed and loaded with PTSD, they're also probably developmentally fucked up in ways that you can't even begin to imagine

Someone remind me to make a post speculating on how the loss of Riis fucked up Eliksni biology (and how the stress of being in Sol might have caused even more problems on an epigenetic scale) when its not late as shit bc the more I think about it the more and more horrified I get

[faerune]

the more i think about them the more i think i want astarion and aoife to try being friends first because i really do love the "it sounds like you need a friend" dialogue because he does!!!

and of course it opens the door for mutual yearning and pining while they adventure together post game because of their "oh. im ready now. i want them really bad and i hate being just friends but i value our relationship so much i dont want to ruin it" tomfoolery

[cruelplatonic]

my personal headcanon is the vees were unremarkable nobodies when they were alive. i just love it as a thematic throughline for them. they love to let the public of hell speculate on them being famed and acclaimed since before death, but the the truth is they were a d-list failed influencer that got by on cheap controversey and scamming, a broke junkie who burned every shaky bridge he ever had, and a worn-out broadcast production assistant with more rejected auditions and tossed out script pitches than he could count. nobody missed them when they were gone, nobody cared who they were until they were dead.