#i think im fine? maybe? you tell me.
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tbh i think volo would have been significantly more normal and fine if he hadn’t been hiding so much of his true feelings and personality. like when you deny yourself genuine human connection to that degree you’re probably going to come off as a machiavellian monster who wants to make the world and the lives of others worse, but looking at his actual stated motivations and intentions it’s clear to me at least that the guy is deeply empathetic and idealistic and more than anything disappointed that the world can’t be better
#volo#pla#i don’t even think the game wants you to think he’s That Bad#given the way laventon discusses him talking about the pokédex and peacefully/awkwardly leaving#the way his eyes go all weird makes me think they were going for almost a jekyll and hyde psychotic break thing#but people kinda projected another kind of villain trope onto him—the calculating immoral sociopath—and that’s the common interpretation#it’s like the opposite of when people look at villains who are meant to be completely terrible and find redeemable things about them#insisting that the writers wanted people to see those things as well#i might be doing that myself but just looking at the text and themes of the game it seems to me that you’re supposed to feel bad for him#rather than like violently hate him#even just with the way the player looks at him when he walks away#and that’s not even getting into shit that happens in pokemas#like sorry man volo unintentionally and incidentally prompting arceus to separate the train guys does not make him evil#that was arceus…#same with the player character although i think volo would have had more of a reason to tell them what’s going on#ingo was accepted in hisui#they weren’t#anyway sorry i just wanted to add my take to the many floating around#maybe im wrong or you disagree! that’s fine#but yeah
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i would like to say my ideal PJO adaptation (if i was being physically forced against my will to have to pick a live action adaptation over an animated one for some reason) would be a combo like writing of the musical + casting of the show + visuals of the movies
BUT the show actually does have the playwright for the musical as one of the major writers for like three episodes and that did nothing for it. so...
#pjo#riordanverse#pjo tv crit#i do love the casting for the musical lots and lots though#it was really good#i do also have some nitpicks for show casting but they're largely inconsequential#like majority i very much enjoy and think are cast well#i only have one i'd say im actually disappointed with and that's Poseidon. idk he just feels. bland??? does that make sense?#like idk maybe it's the costuming but im not getting Sea God *or* Fishing Dad from him#like i think i kinda see what they were going for and i saw some gifs of him in another show where he plays a pirate and its like#okay. *little* bit better. but idk im just not getting Poseidon from it#in general most of the immortals in the show dont feel very Immortal(tm) but thats definitely mostly just the writing/show itself#not any reflection of the casting#my only other two are i would have liked plus sized Clarisse. i am VERY sad we didnt get that#Dior is a VERY good Clarisse though so i'm not too upset about it. i like her Clarisse energy. the yelling is fantastic.#my most controversial pjo tv take is im still meh on Walker. like he's fine. but like he's kind of Just Fine to me so far#its probably mostly the writing being bad but he hasnt grown on me as Percy yet. i can tell he has the energy though in interviews n stuff#and the main trio dynamic in interviews and stuff is *very* good. i just wish the show writing was better#because the casting IS very good but they have so little to work with. you can really tell theyre trying their best#i like to joke the show would be better if they just set the cast loose in the woods doing in-character improv#like its clear basically all of them know their characters SUPER well. id watch 8 episodes of in the woods pjo cosplay improv.
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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also writing au version of characters is so fun but also so difficult because you are constantly balancing "he would not fucking say that" with "but he WOULD say that if he worked in a coffee shop and drank three free lattes per shift." u know. like if you write them in a way that exactly matches canon they quickly become nonsensical but if you go too far it becomes a different guy altogether. the good news is i have found most readers are way more flexible about interpretations than it often feels like as an author but it is still a nice & occasionally stressful project to try to get it right
#like i genuinely think readers can tell if you put the work in to create a consistent and sensible interpretation#but they don't care as much as people think if that interpretations differs from their own#anyway relatedly im trying to write light in therapy as we speak#i think people care a lot re: meta esp frankly ime regarding light and near specifically#& this sort of freaks authors out bc you see people heavily critiquing certain versions#but i don't think people actually mind that much when it comes to fic#i mean like. maybe im wrong and there are people somewhere seething at my admittedly bizarre au characterizations#but i have only actually had someone say this to me on two occasions#if they're seething in private thats fine that's their right ghjlgh#the ONE thing people constantly get mad at me about is that genshin post for some reason lmao#but thats not a fic
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omfg in the end of Saiki K Live Action its pretty much implied he was going to let her have the date she worked so hard for because she had solved everything else, then the rival school delinquents attack, etc etc and when he rewinds the time to do it perfectly this time, he catches Teruhashi's coy glance his way and he exasperatedly smiles with affection. thats the only way i can describe that expression literally he looks like hes trying to hold his face in place but the smile is bursting out by force causing the awkwardness. THEY HAD THEIR DATE IN THE LIVE ACTION UNIVERSE
#mypost#saiki k#saikik#saiki k live action#saiteru#terusai#idk how to explain it but live action saiki is more into teruhashi than anime saiki#like saiki is also begrudgingly going along with her schemes but live action saiki feels like. hes actively suppressing this...#this...inclination to like her? like he almost does#hes always blankly going “i cant like someone who thinks like that” but it almost feels like playfully telling your friend theyre being evi#like “lmao ok you know what i cant be friends w you anymore ok bye”#i cant like someone like this teruhashi-san *eye roll* *lets her grab his arm and run all the way to the gym*#idk the FONDNESS is stronger to me. maybe the blank voice+ limitation of animation makes saiki look more dead#and kento yamazakis face betrays anything. like that twinkle in his eyes when she genuinely asked him if he was ok with no ulterior motive#he went O.O -.- oh yea im fine. thanks.#great acting great direction i caught every crumb
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AU where Brent is a drone to help out at crime scenes and offer input after Right finds the drone. And basically he befriends the really weird guy possibly controlling the drone but has his doubts as to how human the drone's source can be. So Right and Brent just go around trying to solve crimes while Right just calls the drone "Fuckwad (affectionate)".
#my characters#i love right so much and i think he would actually do pretty dang well with a lil assistant drone because not a person#which means not liable to get hurt with a bit of contact so he can just#tap the lil drone or poke it to push it away a little#anyway hi i had a very VERY bad morning and im not gonna lie#i was genuinely at one point thinking huh what if i get hospitalized that sure would suck#and i was thinking huh maybe i should think of how to instruct my mom on how to post on tumblr to tell you guys im hospitalized#which in my defense i had to bother my mom at 2am bc i went down to get pain meds and couldnt make it upstairs#and was breathing so intensely on the stairs hunched over i was like hmmmm not the usual panic attack feelings#and she immediately asked me if i wanted to go to the hospital#so im like cool not gonna let that outta my mind thats fine surely no problem#just gonna fixate on being hospitalized#anyway i finally got helped upstairs and was in incredible pain and couldnt breathe v easily#and it was leading to a bit of a panic attack because i was in so much pain simply trying to inhale and#my breathing was so shallow and sharp and my arms were just having bad circulation and shaking and hm#yeah it was p bad#anyway as a treat to myself not being in a hospital i drew my beloved raccoon son right
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Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....
#scu neg#sonic movie negative#do you guys even have a specific single tag? genuine question#scu negative#like bro you just had to say 'plz tag negativity posts better :(' you didnt have to go on a tangent abt how sonic wachowski is a perfect#little angel ...#and writing off criticism abt the movie as 'personal issues' is also just. Mean. undermining ppls genuine investment in the characters#shadow means a lot to me. his storyline js extremely powerful. ofc im disappointed they fucked it up. thats personal but it has real world#consequence. taking a character whos entire plotline is driven by an anti-militant message and who is a genuine and powerful representative#of PTSD in media and making him. Whatever He Is Now is Bad Actually. even if you think thats just a personal take it still has Real Effects#and i dont expect the scu to be a masterpiece of art. i take sonic seriously but i understand that im maybe an Exception and also that#perceptions of characters change between literally Everyone. but i think its still fine to say that i dont trust the writers to tell the#story they want to tell. they very clearly Dont understand what made adventure-era sonic so powerful in the first place and thats a valid#take even if it is 'just a personal opinion'#ok sorry for getting heated. as a board-certified PTSD haver shadow the hedgehog is important to me its like i imprinted on him as a child#like. i dont think its a stretch to assume that theyre probably going to make shadow Dull and Lame compared to his old storylines. gerald i#already so fucked up that i honestly have lost all hope this movie will have good writing. and i can Expect good writing becuz this project#is from a huge corporation that can Afford good talent and Chose to do their movies this way instead#and they were like 'you guys cant b mad that the character you like didnt show up!' when the criticism for THAT is that the scu is doing#EVERYTHING in its power to AVOID adding new and substantial female roles to the cast. rouge not being there is a larger issue besides just#Missing Her. we have 3 reoccurring women/girl characters. out of a cast of roughly 13 main characters. cant you see how disgusting that is.#i think its 13 anyway hang on. im counting wade tom sonic tails knuckles shadow eggman gerald those two gun guys. yeah#'but theyre adding another woman character!' yeah.... and shes another military official..... when we coulda had Rouge the Bat???#thats not the win you think it is.........#ig theres sonics owl mom too genuinely forgot abt her tbh#she exists only to b a mom and die tho so she isnt rlly That Great as a woman character either#and maddie exists only to b Sonics Mom and rachel only exists to be the Funny Aunt and jojo only exists to be The Girl Cousin so......#SORRY ESSAY SORRY i feel very passionately abt sonic!!!! especially in this case!!!!!!!#ok well ig maria is there too but shes also just. Uhm. Ok. Look. i love maria robotnik. but she is a Plot Device not a character. sorry#wades family dont count either becuz. well. they suck NO NO NO JUST KIDDING
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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In the words of Jessica Day, "Work sucked today, my friends"
#at least im 90% sure she said that once#anyways it sucked. a LOT#i i paid for something i shouldnt have causing my boss to have to reimburse me and they were. less than pleased#and like i get that i should have communicated better but maybe so should you guys?#i dont know. i think im not completely in the wrong about this but its hard to tell right now#i just want to cry and not think about it ever again#at the moment only one of those is happening#i just. it cant have been ENTIRELY my fault#and i honestly dont know why its such a big deal#but my boss and i have VERY different minds#uuuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhh#i feel like everything turned out fine but i also feel like its all my fault and everything sucks#and maybe i should stand up for myself but. i do. not. want. to#i KNOW im gonna say my thoughts on it and theyre gonna say something else and ill be like uuuuhhhhh#sure yes whatever im clearly wrong#sigh
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Hhh,,, might cave and make a fanfic about Them
#slenderman x zalgo#zalgo x slenderman#i NEED more content of them and there's already so little so i'm at the point where i'm like `fine i'll do it myself` yknow#zalender#zalder#creepypasta#somerandomdutchfangirl#going clinically insane over this ship u dont understand omfg#i have so many headcanons on both species and their relationship as a whole and im. aaaaaaa#plus my oc who's basically like. their lovechild (cringe? maybe. but also cringe culture is dead and i can do what i want so.) but im still-#-working on her char sheet so yknow. which is also sort of an au i think?? idk yet#anyway headcanons!! like the importance of jewelry and shit. if you have request pls tell me bc im going Insane#(idk if anyone will even read these tags but oh well. if you did have a cookie 🍪)#going to explode just thinking about them ngl.#gonna hit post and hoping i dont get threats over shipping this <33#zalgo#creepypasta zalgo#slenderman
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Me: Hey, Im going to work in the field of Sociology!
Someone: You should go into human resources. You'll make lots of money.
Me:
#thoughts#i mean yeah sure#their right but i dont want to work for a corporation like that i guess. i might#but id rather not be blamed when management goes 'we need to underpay some people in the company and thats your job to find out who gets#the brunt of this dumb decision'#or 'we need you to be as round about as possible to the employees about receiving their pension“#their right i should. maybe my rage isnt warented. i need to do more research#id like hr if it protected the employees like its supposed to but my bosses will see it as I have to protect their liability#so fuck. i dont want to get into middle managment. id be so ass at it#at least its not the usual “oh what type of money are you going to make with whatever that is” go fuck yourself. what if Im taking a#self suicidal route and torpedoing myself into poverty. is that the answer you want? you want to tell me to find another field?#nerve of some people because they think think in money. fine. but i dont want that for myself. if i die like that#so be it
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My partner finally finished BG3 but has no idea that his ending was actually bad cause he was a pro-Vlaakith githyanki who rode off with Lae'zel but got NO EPILOGUE where Withers points out y'all died im 😭😭😭
they have no idea what happened with Gale or anyone else (who was still alive) after flying away 🙃🙃🙃
#i cant even tell him cause hes gonna play again more “normally”#its so tragic he would like skip dialogue and just fight to get the jump on boss battles instead of waiting for the cutscenes to start#and he didn't exhaust dialogue trees!! like... how... why...#and also he staked Astarion 😭 and p much never reloaded#and didn't clear the shadow curse so no Halsin#also everyone at Last Light Inn died so Dammon was gone and Karlach only got 2 upgrades#and he didnt know moonrise towers was basically a second town#and his game was buggy a lot maybe? cause he kept trying to be hella creative with things and do things out of order#like killing gortash before doing steel watch 🙃#it's fine it's fine everyone plays differently#he tends to care more about gameplay than anything else but still!!#i just want him to know all the character backstories and see everything that made me emotional#i mean he did say he was sad when Lae'zel broke up with him in act 3 and when Karlach died and when he had Gale use the orb in act 2#which he considered his canon ending :/ sigh#i dont think he got Jaheira's lines about death#and he didnt understand why Karlach wouldn't go back to the hells#and he thought Wyll was happy being the duke (and has NO idea you could save his dad cause the mission didn't happen!! 😭)#the iron throne was like my fave mission outside of killing Cazador and I can't discuss either one cause he didn't do them properly yet 😭😭#he also avoided talking to children so he missed those quests and yenna glitched so no cat appeared in camp 🙃#sighhhhh cannot believe he plays so differently than i do lollll#he didn't even do unlimited kisses with Lae'zel!! meanwhile im over here kissing Astarion every night hahahah#hoping my partner doesn't see IRL if I have the office door open as if it matters lmfaooooo#i need him to play again and see why im in love with a video game character lol#maybe we could both um... benefit from knowing more about all of Astarion's scenes lmao#but like he has NOT SEEN Astarion's silly or sweet side yet just him being a bit of a chaotic vampire#and thinks i like him cause of vampires WRONG!! play the game again and see that i love his silly & sweet real self!#bg3 spoilers#baldur's gate 3 spoilers#bg3#baldur's gate 3
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i very rarely get a sense of satisfaction from completing tasks. ive heard people say this is an ADHD thing, but idk. personally i think i might just be bad at being alive
#anime life#i wish i could do something for myself but it just feels so hollow. like why fucking bother yknow?#i wrote a lot of my fic Book of Red Murder and then started to lose steam#and i thought maybe posting it would encourage me to finish it#and it did at first#but then there wasn't a lot of readership or energy around it#which like. is fine and not weird. it's not a big deal and it's not like it's something im OWED#and also i had. a bit of a mental breakdown and had to stop being active in the fandom#so now DEFINITELY no one's gonna read it lol#idk i feel bad even posting about it because i don't want anyone to feel bad or like im trying to guilt anyone about it#i just have trouble articulating what i feel and why and it helps me to try to reason it out#no one did anything wrong but i think it's still understandable for me to say that i was discouraged#when it felt like people didn't really like my writing. or. to be honest. me as a person#i guess the lesson here (if there is one at all) is that if you like a fic you should probably tell the person writing it
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maybe i need meds???
#knocks on skull like GOD CAN YOU JUST FUCKING EMOTIONALLY REGULATE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD#been swinging wildly between 'i need help' & 'im faking it' every single HOUR#the thing is. and this is the thing. my life right now is as close to perfect as i'll ever get there is literally nothing wrong#im MEANT to be HAPPY why am i UNSTABLE#im thinking meds maybe but also it's just such a pain#to book a drs appt to get put on a mental health plan to be put on a waiting list for a shrink then convince said shrink that I need meds#sounds painful#don't think I can do it...#but. ive booked a drs appt so baby steps.#but see like I booked it on wed bc I was very much going to have a breakdown at my desk then immediately felt silly on thurs morning bc#I felt fine??? then hours later I was like no. not fine actually#im going to fucking chuck#hex.txt#personal#personal posts are only on this blog bc u guys are more used to hearing me blabber bullshit than my main#does anyone wanna tell me some good news or something nice happening in their life
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rip batarou shippers you would've loved kuwameshi...
#im being like. mostly deadass#like if any of u have seen both yyh and opm DO YOU SEE IT LIKE#i just think i could make one of those 4 circle venn diagrams for these guys#tell me kuwa and badd aren't the same mf 😭#garou is basically a yusuke that doesn't get his development arc at the beginning of the show#maybe if he doesn't get hit by that car. or smth idk#if he and kuwabara dont meet til later on. he's awakened and not reformed or wtv#and kuwa is the spirit detective instead like.#okay i will elaborate if someone reminds me later.im braindead rn but YEAH DO YOU SEE#but like batarou just has their vibes without that familiarity. like i like batarou it's fun#but kuwameshi im like. that's fine dining to me simply because they have sm more time together#anyway. yea wtv#batarou#kuwameshi#qeued post#yu yu hakusho
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And another thing-
I'm not a super big fan of the way that CK subtly reframes (through the perspective of other characters criticizing Daniel in story) Miyagi very obviously sharing his culture with Daniel out of mutual respect and affection as, instead cultural appropriation.
Why? For what purpose?
#do not get me started on the “dont be there. what. you couldnt even teach him English”#i Will start throwing rocks#ck negativity#i swear im not trying to be like thia but just i mean what#they did that to try to make him less sympathetic i think.#which. tbh. is bad writing.#ghe same way they flipped the script to Daniel being rich and johnny being working class to frame them against#each other. and in a situation where jt was obvious story telling shorthand which person you were SUPPOSED to find sympathetic#which. did NOT. need to be done. because it could've been very easy to humanize johnny#and flesh out his character. without trying to walk back or reframe his already canon characterization#because people and characters can be complex and are allowed to be more than one thing at once#which again. was better done in the first two seasons and then juat dropped?#what because they were worried the new fans werent smart enough to get it?#or because they were purposefully aiming to please those new fans who Did Not Get It#and just liked the classic rock and beer and jokes#the number of times uve seen “hes so un PC i love it!” no. like. a vwry big part of his character arc#in the first two seasons was that he was getting better about that! his entire thing with Miguel. “hes Dominican”#his entire thing like “oh. maybe violence isnt always the answer”#just to be like “lol psyche”#I would like to sit johnjoshhayden down and make them try to explain exactly why they made all these writing choices#disrespectful to the characters and the audience tbh#im fine lol
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