#at least its not the usual “oh what type of money are you going to make with whatever that is” go fuck yourself. what if Im taking a

[pielove123clan]

Me: Hey, Im going to work in the field of Sociology!

Someone: You should go into human resources. You'll make lots of money.

Me:

[itsalwaysdark]

also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry

[uplatterme]

Honorary Maid, Aether!

a/n: im not even gonna say anything, i just wanna fuck aether in a maid outfit. there’s plot i suppose but y’know. also ended up longer than it should have been…

cw: sub!aether/dom!amab!reader, top!reader/bottom!aether | aether wears a maid outfit, blowjob(chara!receiving), aether calls reader “master”, his eyes get covered for a bit, mirror sex, slight cockwarming

————

The traveler has been faced with different types of commissions. So he’s not really one to complain no matter its difficulty or strangeness. After all, he’s been often tasked to jump on mushrooms back in Sumeru and nothing can get weirder than that…he supposed. He’ll take anything, since this is what keeps his mora pouch full.

Unfortunately for him, today was looking a little scarce. 

“I’d like to apologize, but we have run out of commissions for the day. You may come find us tomorrow.”

Aether clicks his tongue. He needs to save up if he’s planning to travel to Fontaine anytime soon.

“None at all?” He asks again.

“I’d like to apologize, but we have run out of commissions for the day. You may come find us tomorrow.” Katheryne repeats word for word.

That’s troublesome. He’s a few mora short of what he usually earns.

He’s already done his share of bounties and requests for the week. He doubts that they’ll let him take another in fear of both exhausting him and taking opportunities from other adventurers.

And almost as if Katheryne could read his thoughts, she speaks up.

“There is a commission. Although, we have declined it for being too suspicious. Would you like to take a look, traveler?”

He nods, and she hands him a flier.

With one look, he understands why exactly it would be described that way. The details are vague and the mora that is being offered is far too much considering it’s only asking for housework.

“I’d advise against it but if you are going to take it, it is good to be careful.” She says.

That would be the most reasonable idea.

Aether, however, takes the flier and puts it away in his bag.

He did not think it would be that difficult. Perhaps the mora was reasonable after all.

The directions written on the flier weren't helpful at all. He’s been in circles, has been ambushed by three groups of hydro slimes and his clothes are a mess to look at.

It is his fault, he deems. He underestimated it, but who could blame him when he’s saved four nations from being ruined? A simple commission should have been easy. Exactly that, it should’ve.

Aether icks at how sticky he is. He tried to get off as much goo as he can, but some of it just spread to his skin and to his clothes.

He sighs, wondering if he should turn back.

That is, until he finally sees the mansion mentioned on the map.

It would be rude to show up in such a state, but going back empty-handed after going through so much trouble…

The money, Aether. The money. He thinks to himself.

He fixes his hair at least, making sure his braid is clean and neat. 

The mansion is big, perhaps even bigger than the Dawn Winery. He wonders what kind of person would live like this and this far away from others. He grits his teeth. His opinions when it comes to rich people aren’t that great, he has met his fair share of aristocrats without manners.

He knocks on the door, waiting patiently, although a bit anxious at how they’d react.

The door finally opens.

Oh.

He did not expect that.

What opens the door is clearly someone who gives off elegance. You wear a silky robe, a wine glass in your hand as you lay on the door frame.

Aether gets eyed up and down.

“May I help you? You may wash yourself if you want, I see you’ve been attacked by slimes.” You hum.

“I—Yes. Thank you.” He stutters out, not expecting such kindness. He follows you inside and then remembers what he’s here for. Right, no time to get distracted.

“I’m actually here…because of a commission you sent? I believe you need some help with housework.” 

He watches as your mouth gapes open. “Of course. I didn’t expect anyone to be coming truthfully, with how late it is already.”

Aether winces at the indirect insult. Maybe, if you actually drew the map better—

“I got a bit lost.” He says.

“Yeah, I can see that.” You say, alluding to the slime that remains on his body.

Aether flushes, not expecting that. He coughs it away.

“As I was saying, you could take a shower first. I only need the house to be lightly dusted and cleaned. If you have time to cook, that would be fine too.” You inform the traveler.

“That’s it?” He asks. Surely, there was something else. No way you were paying him such a high price for just sweeping and cooking.

“Oh. If you finish early, you can come by my office and see if you can help me out with things.”

Is this really it?

“You didn’t add a few extra zeroes for the reward right? It’s 100,000 for this?”

You stare at him confused. He concludes that he was right that you had sent the wrong price.

“That’s fine. I’ll still do it for 10,000.” Aether replies with a reassuring smile.

“No, no. I clearly wrote a million.”

Did he hear you right?

“I’m pretty sure I wrote a million when I sent the letter…” You mumble, trying to remember what you had written.

Meanwhile, Aether is stunned.

Even he wasn’t paid that much when getting compensation from the Qixing.

“Ah, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have to work now, if you’ll excuse me. Your uniform is in the bathroom closest to my office!” You rush out before he can even deny the high price of such a reward. 

…

Wait, what uniform?

Aether doesn’t see you for a while after that. He focuses on keeping every surface clean due to what he's being given. He sweeps and dusts what he can, only being limited by the locked doors you told him not to bother with. 

The blond does all that while wearing this ridiculously fluffy outfit.

He shouldn’t be this flustered. He’s seen Adelinde wearing these kinds of outfits.

It’s in no way revealing, the socks he’s wearing even reaching up to his thigh. Yet, he still stumbles whenever he passes by a mirror.

He takes a deep breath, flattens out his skirt, and checks his braid before knocking on your office’s door. You tell him to come in and you don’t even spare him a glance, too busy with whatever it was that you are currently working on.

You still wear the same silken robe and he smells the alcohol mixing in the air with each deep breath.

“I’m done with everything.” He says.

“That’s good. You may rest now, I’ll give you the payment after I’m done.” Is all you reply to him, eyes not leaving your desk.

Your cheeks are tinted a bit red due to the wine so he assumes you’re a bit tipsy. It doesn’t do well talking to drunk people, he knows that much thanks to a certain archon.

“M-May I help you with anything else?” He interrupts.

That’s when you finally stop and glance at him. He’s red, embarrassed that he sounded like a squeaking animal. You place your head on your hand, tapping the pencil as you gaze upon him.

A smile lingers on your face. “Just sit next to me, if you really want to do something.”

“Sit?”

“Yes, It would be nice to work next to a pretty maid, no?” 

Aether flinches at how you described him. He walks to the chair in front of your desk, staggering his steps.

He watches you work and realizes that you being this near is not good for his heart. He notices it from before, that you weren’t exactly wearing anything under the robe, showing more skin than necessary. He doesn’t want to look down—He’s not going to—but if he was to look under…

Archons.

“Is there something wrong, dear?” You ask.

Aether quickly shakes his head. “No! Not at all!”

He swallows the feeling of embarrassment. He shouldn’t have these kinds of thoughts, you are his employer, and he should treat you with proper respect.

Unfortunately, he can’t ignore the tired grunts you make, the way your robe seems to lower even more, and at this point, he’s not sure if he’s hallucinating.

The skirt is getting uncomfortable to wear, and a certain problem emerging. In fact, the whole outfit has started to do so. He fixes the collar, sweat starting to drip down despite the coolness of the temperature.

He places his palms on his cheeks, staring down, trying to calm himself.

He wonders how it would be if instead of the wine glass, you were to place that hand on his neck instead, to have you cup up his chin as you’re behind him with his back against your chest.

Aether continues daydreaming, not noticing that you’re calling up to him until he feels his wrist being taken away.

You pull him towards you and finds that you’re really warm.

“Traveler? Are you sick? Shall I send you home right now?” Your worry outstands him.

“N-No. I’m fine,” He glances down and tries to hide the growing tent with his apron. “I can wait. I’m good.”

You sigh. 

If Aether was standing right now, he’d be down on his knees.

“No, I refuse to have you here any longer. You are clearly not well, I’ll compensate for it.” 

Compensate? Does that mean you’ll be adding more to that ridiculously high payment?

He can’t have that.

“It is alright! I just uh—” What? Is he just supposed to admit that he was eyefucking you in his head?

He closes his mouth, scared that he’ll say something just as embarrassing.

“Don’t you have another task that I can do?” Aether asks.

“You can go home, I won’t take it against you—”

“Are you sure, Master—”

And Aether immediately wants to bury himself underneath. He didn’t mean to, he just didn’t want to go yet. Oh, when did he become this stupid? He’s always been rational when it comes to most things. 

He hears you chuckle softly, which then turns into a burst of hard laughter.

He’s embarrassed himself and now you’re laughing. You’re laughing so hard that you start tearing up.

“W-Why did the Adventurer’s Guild send me such an adorable maid?” You say.

Aether thinks he’s far from adorable. In fact, he’d consider himself to be scary. He’s defeated three harbingers, fought a dragon, and gone through multiple battles. He is not…adorable. Not in the least.

He can’t find it in himself to argue with you.

“What’s wrong, baby? Don’t want Master to send you out?”

“I—You’re mocking my words! It just slipped out! I have a friend and I also call him by that title sometimes!” He frustratingly yells. Right, because of Diluc, that’s it.

“So you’re saying you…just have a habit of calling people your Master?”

Aether tries to stammer out a response. “W-Would you stop with all the teasing?”

“Oh, I’m the one teasing? Not the one who’s been so quiet as a mouse his whole stay, but all of the sudden drools as I innocently do my work?”

“You noticed…?”

“Of course, I noticed. You aren’t exactly sneaky when you stare at me as if you can see through my robe.”

Aether covers his face and crouches on his knees. Yes, he won’t argue that he does want your attention. However, he didn’t expect to get everything thrown at him all at the same time.

“Don’t worry, I think it’s cute.” You reassure him, helping him stand up.

“Sorry…I know you employed me for cleaning and all I’ve been doing is bothering you with your work—and you’re paying me too much already, I’ll just leave—”

Ah, Aether did not expect that.

He did not expect to be cut off from his mumbling with a kiss. Your lips were calming, soft and gentle. He feels you try to pull away.

He doesn’t want you to.

He pulls you closer to him, compared to you, he’s messy and in need. In need of your touch, in need of your attention. It’s a bit fast, he thinks. He’s only met you today, after all. 

Aether doesn’t mind.

You separate from him, out of breath. “You know I’ll be holding that against you, right?”

“Yes…and no compensation needed. Please.” He stresses out. He doesn’t want this to come off as you are paying for his body. He wants this, it’s dizzying but relaxing. He’s been needing this kind of break, especially as of recently.

“Alright.”

It’s a shame that his black stockings are ripped this much, he thought they were rather cute. The desk is a bit uncomfortable on his back but he’s too distracted by your mouth on his cock, mouth gasping out pleasantly as you hold him still.

“S-Shit—” He curses out.

You apparently take that as a sign to go even deeper and multitask with your hands at the other end of his cock. You grumble something incoherent, and the vibrations send pulses to his nerves.

“W-What?” He asks, and then regrets it since you answer him again with him still inside your mouth. He tilts his head back, squirming on the hard desk.

You remove your mouth before he can even climax, just edging him to the point of him shuddering. His legs are so sticky, he can’t see it due to the skirt, but he feels it, the way his thighs slide against each other.

“Such pretty noises…I might just get tempted to keep you here if you keep doing that.” You state.

“I can’t.” He breathes out.

“Really? You’re sure I can’t convince you?” 

“You can try.” Aether smirks.

You sneer at his confidence.

“Come here.” You direct.

“Stand?”

“Mhm, I’m sure laying like that can’t be good for you. Unless, of course. You already can’t stand up?”

Aether rolls his eyes at you. His legs shake with each step but he manages to position himself well, his back against your chest. 

He hears the sound of the robe hitting the ground and he’s tempted to see. No, he wants to see. 

He turns his head but his eyes are covered with your hand.

“Ah, no looking. Not yet.”

He can feel his entrance being stretched out, your fingers clearly taking their time. His heart thumps as his vision remains in darkness. Noises of satisfaction sounded from his throat.

He’s starting to get impatient with it, if he’s being honest. He remains still, however, he trusts that you know whatever’s best for him.

You hum and the tone of your voice seems satisfied.

After a few seconds of emptiness and silence, he finally takes you in. The urge to bend down right there was uncontrollable, but you hold his shoulders up. He’s this close to having a misstep and falling down.

His legs quiver, struggling to stand on their own. 

You push further in and a silent cry comes out of him. He hopes that’s the last of it.

It isn’t, but he doesn’t have to know that.

God, he feels so full. He curses your hand, he wants to see it. See how filled he is, see how your length bulges from his stomach.

“P-Please, move your hand.”

“In a bit, dear.”

It doesn’t take much for his body to succumb with a few thrusts. Each breath seems as if you’re somehow getting even deeper. He seethes at the pleasure, close to spilling.

“Hngh—” Aether grunts out.

It’s intoxicating how you hold him by his waist, rubbing his stomach. And with each pump to his body, his mouth releases a satisfied sound.

He swears in his head. Close! He’s so close!

He taps your hand on his eyes repeatedly, wanting you to take it off now. But you ignore it, pounding deeper instead as a response.

His body shrivels, and the next thing he knows, he’s screaming because of how good it is.

He’s blinded by the light when you finally allow him to see, his vision taking a while to adjust. The first thing he sees is how much he spills on the floor and how there’s still some coming out, dripping on his thighs.

“Would you look at that? My maid, creating a mess. Aren’t you supposed to be doing the opposite?”

He tries to turn around and almost slips, if not for your arms.

“Want to see, my baby?”

“Yes.” He answers.

Right after he says that, he feels himself getting lifted up, you still inside of him. A soft moan quickly escapes his lips. 

“W-Wait!” He complains, confused at what you’re doing.

That’s when he notices the mirror across the room. “No, you’re not actually thinking of—ah!”

You walk towards it all the while his legs are lifted and spread out. The movement has him bouncing on your cock despite still being sensitive from his first orgasm. It’s only a few steps. He can count how many you took with his fingers.

So, why is it that his body is responding too well to the point that he gets hard again?

“You alright there?” You ask him, his head still overwhelmed that he can’t hear you.

You blow on his ear and he looks at you annoyed.

“Why don’t you look in front of you before you pout at me?”

He stares at himself and looks away, having trouble maintaining eye contact with his own. The scene is so…passionate.

The way his skirt is lifted up to show his waist, his ripped stocking, and his flushed face. All the while you’re carrying him so lightly, your cock only halfway inside of him, wet from all the juices he’s leaking out.

Halfway? He questions himself. There’s no way you weren’t fully inside him earlier, right?

“What are you thinking?” You ask.

“N-Nothing!”

“Is that so?”

He whines at how you push further in, stretching his walls out fully. It’s way too big for him and he has no idea how he’s being able to take you so well. He watches the reflection as much as he could, despite his vision being blurry at most.

His body writhes at each slight movement that he makes, making him be reminded of the fact that he’s still being lifted up. He wants to say something, to speak about how you’re so mean to him for placing him in this position that you know will ruin him and his vocal cords. Yet, he doesn’t, knowing that’ll push you even further.

He’s so drunk and breathless, which doesn’t make sense considering you’re the one who’s been drinking the whole day.

You slowly pull yourself out to make space and Aether sobs. He sobs at how his walls clench onto you as if it depended on it, he sobs at how much pleasure this is giving him than what he expected.

He’s scared of what might happen after this. Of how his body will be affected by how much affection you’re giving it.

And then you thrust in. 

A loud whimper breaks out of him, and as the noises of skin slapping together get louder, so does he. 

Aether sings out pleas and how much you’re ruining his body, that he’ll never be able to take anybody else after this.

“You shouldn’t even be considering that, to begin with. You’re mine now, yes?”

And he hastily nods. Yours, of course.

He struggles to breathe, not knowing where to focus on when you’re pounding ruthlessly into him. His body feels so heavy and so brittle at the same time, You’re—

Aether’s thoughts get interrupted when you empty inside of him, filling him up. Warm, you’re so warm. 

He throws his head back as he reaches his second climax, everything draining out of him.

“Hah—give me—a sec…” He stutters out.

“Of course, should I pull out?”

“No, keep…keep it in.”

It took a while for Aether to recover. You suggested that you two should sit down but he immediately shuts that off once he remembered that warranted more movement. So, he stays there slightly lifted up, bearing the slight twitches of your cock.

You waited patiently, having a sight to look at just like this wasn’t exactly a complaint of yours.

He grabs your arms, lowering himself to the ground.

His legs aren’t exactly what you would call stable.

He moves on his own, pushing his body in and out. It’s slow, but it’s also gratifying at the same time. Some of your cum slips out with each push, being used as lubrication by your maid.

“You’re doing so well, keep it up.” 

“‘Love your cock.” He says.

“Hmm…I see that. Need some help?”

He nods embarrassingly. 

You position him to face you instead, making it a lot easier for him to work his way through.

It’s adorable how he hard he tries, his fingers are barely grabbing themselves onto you, in fact, you’re the one that’s the cause of Aether being to at least be on his feet.

He cries out loud as he hits that sweet spot of his, tongue lolling out from the pleasure. He’s tight and the movement is riling up the fire inside of you to use his body to your own accord. You fight against it, admiring at how much he’s trying to get that satisfaction without overwhelming himself from being too sensitive.

“That’s right, baby. Keep going. You’re so close aren’t you?”

“Mhm.”

He shudders at it, his core boiling to its brim. 

“Please don’t let me fall.”

“I would never.” You promise.

Aether goes at a quicker pace, from what strength he has still, and lets his lower half do all the work until he spills out again, breathless but finally satisfied.

Aether knocks on the door again, waiting for you to open it.

As usual, you carry a glass of alcohol in your hand. Although more clothed, ever since he got possessive that someone else might see you like this.

You smile, and he braces for the teasing.

“My, at this point I really have to ask. Do you enjoy getting ambushed by hydro slimes or is your memory that bad?”

Aether rolls his eyes. He needs to persuade you from having a proper path made to get here. “I need a shower.”

“Ah, I’ve set up a bath.” You offered.

“And I assume you’re coming with?” The blond snickers.

“Of course, I am. Like you even have to ask.”

[astonmartinii]

love love love these social media aus. i am obsessed. would love to see a soft launch with carlos maybe of him showing her spain and his home? carlos just screams old money european vibes and i love it

old money | carlos sainz social media au

pairing: carlos sainz x reader a class in soft launching 101

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 301,671 others

carlossainz55: some much needed time at home

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username WHOMST?

landonorris so i see my invite was lost in the mail?

carlossainz55 i thought you were tired of third-wheeling?

landonorris touche

username was deluding myself that it was maybe his sister but the third-wheeling comment just slapped me in the face

charles_leclerc ahhhh my favourite sainz

carlossainz55 thanks mate you're my favourite leclerc too charles_leclerc i meant the dog mate arthurleclerc that's not what you said to me at imola sainz

yourusername

liked by carlossainzz5, yourbff1 and 21,761 others

yourusername: let's go explorin'

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username i'd eat her last when we eat the rich

username what i'd do to be her friend? assistant at least?

username i saw her in madrid the other day and omg she's even more graceful in person

username her posture is insane i need it bad

username while she looks great and you're all right - are we ignoring that a MAN is driving the car?

username i am ignoring it because i don't want to think about it username she can't be the coolest person in the world and be in a relationship it's not fair

carlossainz55

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 359,561 others

carlossainz55: blood is thicker than water

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username my favourite pastime is watching the old money aesthetic overtake carlos' entire being as soon as he sets foot back in spain

landonorris oh he's getting braver

carlossainz55 you gonna be bitter under all my posts cabron? landonorris until i'm wifed again, yes.

username so like why is y/n here?

username is that defo her? username i was referring to her liking the post but now you say it, the girl on the horse does look suspiciously similar

charles_leclerc mommas boy

carlossainz55 didn't know it was a crime to love my mum

username so yall be yelling about y/n but not telling us who she is and why she matters

username y/n y/ln is a spanish socialite whose family own a lot of the high end restaurants in madrid but she's most known for her poetry and style username so do we hate or love her? username i like her, and a lot of people do, just usual dislike for being grossly rich but from what i've seen she's pretty down to earth

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc and 29,871 others

yourusername: keeping the operation smooth

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username THIS ISN'T FUNNY

username stop playing with us please

username i feel like this is all the confirmation we'll get

username y'all i know he's an f1 driver and everything but we all know he's PUNCHING

username i need her haircare routine STAT

f1wagsupdates

liked by username, username and 1,249 others

f1wagsupdates: it's all but confirmed!! after a pretty solid soft launch from both carlos and his new lover y/n y/ln, her latest post was captioned "keeping the operation smooth", playing on carlos' iconic theme song. our sources state that the driver and socialite poet have been together for as long as six months but after other relationships and relative platforms, both were determined to take it slow. what do you think?

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username they're very cute and i can't wait to see her paddock looks

username bestie i fear you'll be waiting a while she's notoriously private when it comes to event appearances - really only going out for her family or her own events

username they're annoyingly sexy like save some for the rest of us

username this soft launch feels like its been going for about seven years

username f1 drivers defo have a type

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, yourusername and 720,778 others

tagged: yourusername

carlossainz55: mi hermosa

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username AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

yourusername you live in my heart

carlossainz55 and i never want to leave landonorris free real estate yourusername my favourite third-wheel carlossainz55 stay out of grown people's business landito

username they're so lana del ray coded

yourusername

liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55 and 71,230 others

tagged: carlossainz55

yourusername: life with you feels like poetry in motion

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username NOOOOOOO WE LOST HER

username but does this mean new poetry ??

carlossainz55 you make me crazy baby

yourusername crazy in love

username when will it happen to me?

landonorris finally i can interact without having a year long argument with carlos

lando.jpeg

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 301,285 others

lando.jpeg: a study in third wheeling, a six month project by yours truly

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username i'm obsessed with this couple actually

carlossainz55 as much as you are annoying landito, thank you for these ❤️

yourusername we love you landito landonorris so i can use the boat yourusername i don't love anyone that much carlossainz55 eh? yourusername other than you obviously

username lando just starts domestics in these comments and i love that for him

note: sorry this one is a bit short, but i hope you enjoyed anyway!!

[ovenbakedbones]

JASMINE!

chapter 2 !

pairing : mafia!yoongi x (eventual) str1pper!reader

genre : romance???? mystery? smut??

summary : yoongi gets tired of seeing you only once a night for a few minutes, so he takes it into his own hands.

note : sorry this took so long ! i’ll start uploading frequently i swear ‼️

thank you for enjoying chapter 1 !

———————————————————————————————

yoongi spends the next week spending as much time with you as possible. its not enough.

everyday, he sits at the bar, nursing his whiskey until the lights turn red and the music slows. he sits in the leather chair thats centre stage, not too far back, but not too much to expose him. just enough for you to notice him. thats all he needs.

he studies you while you sing, taking note of every mole and freckle that paints your perfect skin, and how your hands wrap around the mic stand in front of you. his favourite part of the night is when your eyes travel towards him. you’ve noticed how he started coming in every night, you’ve heard from the other girls that he has no interest in watching them dance or taking them to a private room, and most importantly, you’ve heard of how he always dashes through the dressing room and to the back door in hopes of catching you.

it is pretty cute how badly he wants you.

namjoon has proved useless at finding information about you. jasmine was clearly a stage name and it’s pretty hard to find someone who disappears after 3 minutes. yoongi has debated putting his men in front of the back door so he has no chance of missing you, but namjoon convinced him that it would probably creep you out.

it’s now a sunday night and yoongi is sat at the bar, waiting for you to perform. jin is off flirting with some of the dancers and yoongi cant help but feel a little stupid obsessing over a woman he knows nothing about. his thoughts are interrupted by the dimming of the lights and he walks to his usual seat, his eyes skimming over the crowd.

there is a certain type of crowd that comes to a strip club on a sunday night, and yoongi isnt especially happy to be lumped in with them. unemployed losers who throw their money at women who want nothing to do with them. he chooses to ignore the irony that he is doing the same thing. if not, worse.

his eyes are glued to you as you take the stage and the music begins to play. you’re wearing a black off the shoulder dress that finishes near the top of your thighs. yoongi cant help but admire your collarbones and the way your hair falls onto your shoulders. you look perfect, as always.

but something about your eyes today look different. almost sad.

family (with suzanna son) - the weeknd, suzanna son

arms like the branches of a poplar tree

eyes like the ocean or the great big blue sea

love just like my mothers with a price, its not free

the music starts playing and yoongi notices that it’s slightly off too, it still has the seductive undertones that you use regularly, but something about the lyrics unsettles him. the rest of the crowd are too busy drooling over your bare legs and figure to notice, but yoongi cannot tear his gaze away from the somber look in your eyes.

voice like my fathers, when he screams the house shakes

dreams like my brother’s, oh, we pray for his sake

hopes just like my mothers, only last till her wake

there’s something eerily beautiful about the way you’re singing tonight. your focus seems to be on the back of the room or the floor instead of eyeing up the customers as if you’re interested. how can someone so melancholy look so beautiful?

thats my family

oh, we dont like eachother very much

oh, im okay with that

but it breaks my mothers heart

yoongi furrows his brows, trying to not listen to the lyrics and soak up the little time he has with you, but he cant help but go over the lyrics in his heart and wonder what happened to change your personality so completely. he’s seen you perform at least 6 consecutive nights, so what is so different about today?

he spends the rest of the song overthinking and his eyes dart up when the music fades out. he blinks and you’re leaving the stage, the money that you collected tucked away into your dress.

he gets ahold of himself and half heartedly walks towards the backstage area. he knows you wont be there but he cant stand the possibility of missing an extra moment with you.

the dancers are used to his presence so they ignore him barging through their space and pushing open the back door and looking down the alley.

his eyes widen and his heart stops when he sees you leant against the brick wall with a cigarette in your hand.

he blinks, half expecting you to disappear, and is pleasantly surprised to see you still standing there, one arm wrapped around yourself and the other hovering near your mouth while you take a drag from your cigarette.

he doesnt have time to think before you notice him and lift your head up, tilting it slightly as you take in his appearance, finally not hidden in darkness.

“guess you finally caught me” you tease and take another drag from your cigarette.

yoongi has to clench his jaw in order to keep it shut. how was your speaking voice as beautiful as your singing voice?

he wants to punch himself for how starstruck he must look. he is in charge of hundreds of people, he deals with criminals on a daily basis, he gets any woman he could ever want. why does he feel like a teenage virgin whenever you look at him?

he clears his throat and leans on the wall next to you, speaking up in a raspy voice.

“oh yeah? you been hiding from me?” he smirks and lights a cigarette of his own.

you smirk and shrug and yoongi forces himself to look away from you. he cannot be one of those losers who can’t even speak to a woman without cumming in their pants.

“i see you’ve become a regular. any particular reason?” you ask innocently and look up at him.

fuck. he’s whipped.

he chuckles and blows some smoke towards your direction “you know damn well why”

you smirk and nod while looking away from him.

“yeah, i have an idea”

yoongi bites back a smile. he’s glad you’re as intoxicating to talk to as you are to look at.

“any particular reason you decided to grace me with your presence this evening?” he says while taking another drag.

you laugh a little “decided to put you out of your misery, i’ve heard enough stories of how you try to beat me here every night”

okay. that’s a little embarrassing. fuck those dancers for snitching on him like that. but at least he can finally talk to you now. maybe he should thank those dancers then?

“yknow, you get caught up in your thoughts alot” you say while looking up at him

he smirks “how observant of you. and here i thought you were too busy eye-fucking me to notice”

you laugh “don’t feel special, i eye-fuck all my customers”

“do you have little after-hour chats with all your customers too?”

you roll your eyes “okay, maybe you can feel a little special”

he smirks and puts out his cigarette.

“so what was with the song today?”

you turn to face him with a raised a brow “what about it?”

“dont bullshit me, it was different than the other days i’ve been here” he scoffs

you turn to press your back against the wall again “now whose the wobservant one?”

“come on, angel. be honest with me”

you tilt your head at him “angel?”

“im not calling you jasmine. i’ll either call you your real name, or angel” he grunts, hoping you’ll tell him your name so he can feel at least a little closer to you.

fuck mystery. he wants to know you.

you smirk “angel is fine”

fucking brat.

he rolls his eyes “so? fess up”

you sigh and put out your cigarette.

“its my birthday”

this catches yoongi off guard a little. he doesnt want to bombard you with questions that you most likely wouldnt answer, but he cant deny his curiosity about why you were so sad on your birthday.

so instead, he settles with ….

“oh. happy birthday”

[urfavslytherclawgirl]

Date Night

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Reader

Word count: 1k

Warnings: Implied nudity and sexytime, mainly fluff, just one POV

Summary: After a long week, you and your husband finally get to have a romantic night.

Bruce went on a work trip a week ago, leaving you bored as hell, you'd call him every night and after long talks, he'd be the one to hang up after noticing you had fallen asleep.

So, as usual, you were in the living room, with your phone near your ear talking to your husband who was kilometers away, or so you thought.

"I think I'm going to bed, goodnight Bruce. I miss you." You said covering yourself with the blanket that was on the sofa, you could hear a faint laugh from the other side of the call before he answered.

"Look at the door, sweetheart." You did as he said and gasped while seeing your husband with a suitcase in his hands, holding his phone and with his usual cocky smile plastered on his face.

"Bruce!" Your phone was tossed on the sofa along with your blanket as you ran towards him, the hug you too shared was warm and helped you with the cold weather of a typical November in Gotham.

"Do you still miss me?" He chuckled kissing your head and cheek, you let go of his comforting hug while your lips touched his, answering his question.

"Let's go out, and make up for our lost time. It's been hell without you." Bruce suggested, making you think for a little, "I'd have to change." You said looking at your fuzzy pajama, he nodded and got his suitcase so the both of you could get up the stairs into your shared bedroom.

"Which dress should I wear? The red one or the black one?" You asked Bruce, who was leaning against the doorframe, while you looked at the dress section of your closet. You could say being married to Bruce Wayne had its perks.

"The red one is nice. Although...you'd look better with nothing on." He said walking towards you and grabbing your hips while towering over you.

"Not tonight, let's have some sweet time together." You whispered, he nodded and kissed your temple.

"Where is Alfred? I haven't seen him yet." Bruce asked while looking at your clothes, "Oh right, I gave him a day or two off. He deserves it." You answered while changing clothes.

"You're making him soft, love. Just joking, I get it, he needs one, he's getting old." You slapped his shoulder due to his rude, but funny, comment about Alfred while he laughed his ass off.

"I'll just put on a bit of makeup and we can go." You explained while going to your vanity, he laughed, knowing that 'a bit of makeup' meant at least thirty minutes of it, and kept looking at your stuff.

-

The car ride was calm, with Bruce talking about the things he did on his trip while having his hand rest on your thigh, and the soft music playing on the car radio.

"We're here. I heard it's a nice restaurant." Bruce said while parking the car in front of the restaurant. After he had gotten out of the car and opened the door for you, like the gentleman he is, you guys walked in, the live music could be heard from outside the place along with your heels clicking while you walked.

"Good night, what's the name of the reservation, sir?" The host of, what seemed like a French and expensive restaurant said. "Oh, we don't have a reservation!" Bruce said sarcastically while his hand rested on your back.

"Shame, we only work on reservations. But, you can give me your name and we can make a reservation for another time." The host said bluntly.

Bruce smiled, "Bruce Wayne."

"Oh! Uhm, it seems like you are in luck, Mr. Wayne there is a free table right there." The host announced with shock in his voice.

That annoyingly good-looking smile of Bruce's never left, he loved flexing his fame and money, especially to you.

"Aren't we just lucky, sweetheart?" Bruce said looking at you while you tried to hold in your laughter.

Dinner was good, although the food was amazing, the portions were small, like five rigatoni and one tablespoon of sauce type of small. Yes, that was a French restaurant but who can't resist pasta? And why would they make such small portions?

"Did you have a nice dinner? Bruce asked while you guys got in the car.

"Sure. I loved the place." You answered. You didn't want to seem ungrateful, plus, the place was amazingly decorated so you technically weren't lying.

"Let's go somewhere else, the night is still young. " Bruce explained while chuckling at his statement.

"That's an old person phrase." You whispered looking at the window.

"What?! I'm not old! I'm in my 30s and, I think you would've noticed by now, I'm in amazing, great, splendid shape." Bruce defended while resting his hand on your thigh.

"How does Drive-thru work?" Bruce asked while looking forward.

"Wha--you brought us to McDonald's?!" Bruce nodded and looked at the menu.

"The food at the restaurant wasn't the best. What do you want?" Bruce asked, you told him your order and after a while, you two were eating hamburgers wearing fancy clothes in a dark parking lot.

"I didn't know Bruce Wayne ate like a mere mortal." You joked while eating your fries.

"What can I say, I'm full of surprises." Bruce laughed and took a bite of his burger.

"I'm glad you're back. My nights were starting to get boring." You announced, he looked at you and smiled.

"Let's change that later." He winked as you rolled your eyes, he sure didn't give up.

Even though many people thought of Bruce Wayne as a distant person, he was an amazing husband. The best one ever.

[sunnynwanda]

Hi, sorry to bother!

I’ve had this idea lately but I wondered if you would like to write it, feel free to ignore it if it doesn’t convince you btw

Pet hero whumpee but not the docile type of pet, more like superhero/supervillain has conditioned/deshumanized them to be like some sort of rabid, aggresive pet that attacks anyone who isn’t their “owner”

Maybe they’ve been missing for some time already and when villain (or any other character you want to) finds them, they worry about the fact that hero is attacking them and doesn’t seem to recognize them at all

I hope you’re having a nice day✨✨✨

Master

Warning: dehumanisation, conditioning, pet whump and everything that comes with it, mentions of physical and psychological abuse, graphic injuries, suffocation, blood, gore, murder. I have no idea how I wrote this. Please do not interact if any of those might be triggering for you.

The door opens with a taunting creak, the sound reverberates off the empty walls. Villain takes a tentative step in, glancing around for any traps. The apartment looks perfect in its apparent abandonment - not a thing out of place, no sign of a fight or kidnapping. Hero had been gone for a little over three months. Just like that, no traces left behind, no warnings - nothing. It's like they vanished into thin air. Evaporated. Villain didn't know why or where they went. They had no idea who to contact or what to do about Hero's sudden disappearance. The only thing Villain did know was they missed their nemesis. 

Oh, they missed Hero like crazy. 

They still recalled the brawl they had the day before. Villain was attempting to cause a riot in the city stadium for the fun of it; Hero had been their ordinary cheeky self as well. Nothing new to the usual scheme of things. They took turns delivering the blows and tumbled around a bit; Villain ended up restrained against a wall and accepted temporary defeat despite being capable of obliterating the entire stadium - Hero included - with a flick of their wrist. Both were accustomed to the game plan and felt no need to deviate. The next day, Villain seized a bank and demanded Hero's presence - per standard procedure.

Except, Hero never came. 

They robbed the bank despite not needing the money and departed in a sour mood because nothing was supposed to be of more importance than their battles. Villain expected Hero to return the next day and intended to make them apologise relentlessly for such disrespect.

Needless to say, that wish never came true. 

After a week of waiting in vain, Villain started suspecting something was off. They spent the following weeks in search of any clues to decipher Hero's mysterious disappearance, any clues that could lead them to Hero's whereabouts - to no avail. 

That is, until today. Villain pulls the letter out of the envelope and unfolds it. An invitation to Superhero's estate. Villain hums, scrunching their nose. That's the last place they want to go to, but at this point, they'll resort to anything to find Hero.

Little did they know that finding Hero would be the least of their concerns.  

Villain exits the apartment, making their way outside the city right away. A deep-set sense of anxiety pushes them forward, a feeling of urgency and despair. They can't comprehend what it is yet, the idea building in their subconscious mind, but they can tell it's bad. They can tell it's entirely vile.

Villain doesn't bother announcing their arrival, instead sneaking over the high fences and past the numerous guards. They walk into the manor, darting past the hounds that roam the first floor, and climb to the second floor, where Superhero's study is. Their hands shake with dreadful anticipation. 

Villain pushes the door open, and in the same instant, something lunges at them. Their first guess is that it's another dog, but the assumption soon proves untrue. The creature withdraws at the sound of a whistle, skipping back to the leg of its master.  

"Good boy," Superhero smiles, brushing Hero's hair the wrong way. Villain watches in shock as Hero turns their head to the side, leaning into the touch and licking Superhero's palm like a dog. 

"What the-" Villain breathes out, too stunned to form a coherent thought. They stare with widening eyes at whatever is left of their Hero as they rub their head against their owner's leg, looking for praise. But when their gaze lands on Villain, Hero's expression shifts to pure rage. They snarl, aggressive and aggravated. Villain's voice is barely audible behind their growls. "What have you done?" 

"Me? Nothing much," Superhero grins, hooking their fingers into Hero's collar and pulling at it harshly until Hero starts to choke. "I've taught them what they really are. What they deserve to be."  

"But why?" Villain glances at them, seeing insanity in Superhero's eyes. They look back at Hero's dehumanised form on all fours. Their back is arched in what Villain assumes is a defensive stance. Their mind is reeling, running a hundred miles an hour. They cannot grasp the situation in full yet, refusing to believe that the creature in front of them is indeed Hero. Their Hero. "W-why?" 

"Why, you ask?" Superhero drawls, fisting Hero's hair and tugging with brute force. Hero falls onto their back, letting out a whimpering whine. Villain turns away, unable to take the sight of them in such a state. "You think I haven't noticed the little play you two have devised? Your little game of back and forth?"

"What are you..." Villain starts, getting up from the floor. Hero jumps up, preparing to attack. Superhero zaps them with a shocker, sending their body back down with another loud whimper. "Stop! Please... For the love of God, stop!" Villain yells, their lips and hands trembling in desperation. 

"Hero failed. Their purpose was to defeat you. They could have done it months ago," Superhero explains, using their foot to prompt Hero's chin up. "They chose not to. They betrayed their pack, so they needed to learn how to be a good dog." 

Villain shudders at the impassive tone of their voice. "You've conditioned them into submission. You've turned them into an animal, you monster!" They spit out, their eyes flaring up with newfound rage. Their fingers curl into fists as they look around the room, trying to find a solution. An escape.  

"No, I've made him my pet. I'm a patient master," Superhero caresses Hero's cheek and rubs their ear, their touch looking almost soothing until their fingers squeeze, digging into the skin on Hero's chin. "Now, attack."

Hero switches into a fight mode with a snarl, their teeth glimmering white in the dim-lit room. Villain dodges the attack by jumping to the side and reaching out to take hold of Hero's head, prompting them to meet their gaze. 

"Hero, it's me!" Hero's pupils are dilated and empty. They seem incomprehensive. "Please, Hero, it's me, me..." Villain pleads, tears brimming their eyes. For a short moment, something seems to flicker behind Hero's gaze. But, Superhero blows their whistle, and Hero loses all sense of self again, attacking Villain with renewed vigour.  

"No, no, no," Villain tries their best to hold Hero back without hurting them. Their voice is thick with emotion when they speak again, struggling to contain Hero.

"Look at me! Please, just look at me..." Their expression is nothing short of begging, but Hero remains unaffected. With no other choice left, Villain grasps Hero's collar, hooking their belt through it and securing it. 

Hero is rabid against their leash, thrashing on the ground as Villain stands, facing Superhero. 

"No matter how far you take them, they'll always be my pet," Superhero hisses, crossing their arms over their chest with an unmistakable sense of victory. They are so confident in their conviction that they don't bother to arm themself.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Villain lets out a dark chuckle, but there's no humour behind it. "It's not them that betrayed the pack by refusing to defeat me. They could never defeat me in the first place. It was me. I'm the variable you didn't take into account," Villain growls through gritted teeth, taking a step towards Superhero and wrapping a hand around their forearm. "And I will burn you to ashes." 

Before Superhero can register it, their skin starts melting off their body, the tangy smell of burnt flesh filling the room. In mere seconds, Superhero's body hits the floor, their moaning sounding like music to Villain's ears as fire washes over them. Hero howls, tagging at their impromptu leash, but Villain remains unyielding. They kneel next to them, ripping the whistle off Superhero's neck, then wrap the belt around their knuckles, forcing Hero to their feet. Villain cups their cheeks, their fingers tender on Hero's clammy skin, and looks into their eyes in hopes of finding recognition - all they see instead is fear.

Primal, animalistic fear.

They gulp down the lump in their throat and blow the whistle, watching Hero's eyes light up in recognition of their new master. 

Villain knows it's going to be one hell of a journey to get their Hero back. They know it will take weeks, if not months, of constant grind to heal what was so thoroughly broken and even then, Hero might never return to their former cheerful self. But they also know there is no one more worth fighting for. 

Villain misses Hero like crazy. And they will have them back. 

Masterlist

A/N: Hello, darling! Oh, it's not a bother in the slightest! I'm glad to have you here. I have to admit, for the longest time, I had no idea if I would be able to finish this story. It felt very raw, very painful and hit a little too deep. But at the same time, I felt the need to explore the theme, both as a writer and as a psychologist. So, thank you for this request. I hope it turned out how you imagined it. Love, xo Sunny

Taglist: @marvellousdaisy @alltimelowing@lateuplight @surplus-of-sarcasm@betwist@excusemeasibangmyheadonawall @enemies-to-idiots-to-lovers@miaowmelodie @thatonerandomauthor @hhabaddon@burningoutlikeicarus @daemonvatis @weepingcowboywolfbat @thelazywitchphotographer @kaiwewi @soul-of-a-local-bard @pigeonwhumps @aflyingsheepnamedrose @thatneptune @ohwellthatslifesstuff @worldsfromhoney@thiefofthecrowns @crow-with-a-typewriter @qualityrabbitsoup @stargeode@villain-life @villainsblood @whumpifi @glassthedumbass @silviathebard @misskowe @ayeshaturnedtoashes4444

[the-s1lly-corner]

TADC cast celebrating valentine's day!

figured i may as well make a TADC version of the previous post while im here tonight and waiting on making money for my roblox tycoon!! expect more typos than usual im fighting the sleepy demons but i gotta finish this tycoon because im !! i dont know LMAO

CAINE:

i keep saying how down bad caine is for his partner, and i think he would amp it up on this day! hes going to drop everything for you and make sure youre going to be drowning in gifts and affection! hes going to be following you around listening to your every whim. gives you something every hour of the day, and he might take you out to that cute little restaurant he and bubble went to in the pilot... makes you a digital meal catered to your palette. probably takes your hand and 'kisses' the back of it when he sees you arrive to the dinner date... 8/10 deducted points because he might get overbearing at some point.... not sure if thats the right word, though...

POMNI:

oh i think shes the type to forget its valentines season! she would probably scramble to get you something... i think she would give you flowers, from the grounds! probably tries to hastily throw together a date for you, trying to make it sound like she had it planned this entire time... oh she feels so so bad, please reassure her that its fine..! its just her first valentines with you and shes already blowing it, at least in her opinion! otherwise, though, shes very sweet... although still a little tense in her word delivery when shes trying to flirt with you, but thats only because pomni in general is an awkward person, at least in my opinion.. 7/10 shes doing her best

RAGATHA:

oh she loves valentines day, me thinks... i think she would sew you something, perhaps a plushie and a matching blanket! of course it wouldnt be a valentines gift if it didnt have hearts all over it and had the classic holidays colors! i think she would wake you up with flowers..! i dont think she would expect much in return but she would be over the moon if you returned the same energy to her.... giving things is nice but receiving is also nice because it shows her that you think about her too! tries to spend the day with you as an extended hangout/date, very nice very sweet... you guys go to the carnival! 9/10 i love her

JAX:

oh he definitely forgets the holiday and doesnt scramble when he finds out what day it is. i think he might MIGHT share his sour candies with you but dont expect more, hes not going to be twisting himself in notes to right his wrong... plus i dont think he sees much point in the holiday, and perhaps holds a "eeeeewww feelings" sentiment, despite literally... being in a romantic relationship with you... hes a little.... errrr.... you know? though he doesnt really put up much resistance when you try to take him out on a date around the grounds, so hey, at least you got that going! he would totally shut it down if he wasnt interested 4/10

KINGER:

very romantic, very much so. i think he would write you a poem... probably stays up for a few nights trying to perfect it for you... gives you a bouquet of flowers, i think he might try to take you out on a picnic... generally very nice... leans deep into the gentleman role, lets you hold on to him while he escorts you around the grounds. tells you how pretty you are that day. gives you a lot of compliments, takes the leads with things... if theres a puddle hes going to let you walk over him/hj ... i think he would be a little stunned if you give him anything in return... not stunned in a bad way...! he was just prepared to be the one spoiling you today..! sheepishly tugs on the collar of his robe and bashfully thanks you... very sweet, love this man 9/10 but i admit im biased for kinger but also this just sounds like a dream

ZOOBLE:

i think theyre more lowkey. i think they make you a unique card, handcrafted... definitely radiates their aesthetic, but also theres some of your charm added into it because they were thinking about you... awww, their thoughts about you shined through their own vibe.. might give you some candy, if they can get their hands on some... doesnt expect a gift in return but their eye kind of sparkles if you present them something... might do better with a gift that generally reflects their personality rather than something thats in line with the holidays traditions of candy and flowers... they dont have the words to express their gratitude but they do take great care of whatever youve given them 8/10 i like them too grrrgrrr

GANGLE:

i think this comes as a shock to absolutely no one, but she makes you a card with her own hands. but i think it would be intricate. gangle seems like the type to better express her feelings through writing rather than verbalizing them... so for you, in this card, she pours herself out to you. theres multiple segments, youre going to have to hold it sideways and let it fall open, it probably hits the ground... she even make little pop-outs, of the two of you and hearts and other things... theres even some tuggy things to reveal portions and make things move... she looks so anxious giving it to you, perhaps thinking shes done too much,, but she awaits your response... yeah i dont think anything is going to top this, its deeply personal and its crafted for you and only you.. 10/10 i would frame it up honestly

[edenicsin]

spell write-up: money box

(this is a very messy description of my long-term money spell. enjoy!)

first of all – i decided to do a money box instead of a money bowl for two reasons: i dont have that much space (and thus need to be able to fit things on top of other things), and im quite clumsy and prone to knocking things over on accident.

i bought a silk(?) piece of clotch to line a small box. the primary ingredients were rice, cinnamon, a drawn solar symbol, a written prayer, and possibly more herbs though i dont really remember. over time i added a LOT more things – cedar oil, basil, a key, flower petals, vanilla… basically anything and everything i had in the cupboard, in small amounts. not all of it was money-specific; sometimes i add things to bring peace to my financial matters, for instance. indeed i consider the variety useful in symbolizing multiple income sources.

i work the box every thursday during the hour of jupiter, usually first thing in the morning, since i think about december? january? the couple of times i missed it i would do it after sunrise on sunday. the standard procedure is lighting the designated candles, ‘mixing’ the contents while thanking the involved spirits (oh yeah i involved a number of entities in this) and burning incense as offering, adding something (new or more), continuing the mixing while talking specifically about what im currently in need of, thanking the sun and jupiter another time, closing the box and blowing out the candles (so the smoke may carry my wishes to the entities in question).

i actually dont really do specific petitions atm, hoping to add that to the repertoire in the coming weeks, along with writing more prayers (rn i just have the one). this has been my longest term magical operation (so far!) and i really want to continue it… functionally indefinitely, so it may change over time, as it already has.

the major conclusions are thus:

1. people are not kidding when they recommend a money Bowl. the effects are definitely strongest on thursdays, to the point where it feels like the universe conspires to bring me money Only on those days (very rarely on wednesdays). im hoping to move my workings to a nice bowl as soon as i have the space – possibly also work it more often? not sure how achievable that is for me, though.

2. a big container is a must, not because of the amount of contents but because of the ease of interaction it offers. though also because of the amount yes.

3. basil is awesome for bursts of cash when necessary; however…

4. this is definitely more of a long-term project than an emergency solution. ive noticed a significant build-up effect, where at the beginning it wasnt very strong but now its, well, bending reality for real. however, with the ingredients and work ive used and done its less so about specific amounts and moreso because of the opportunities it seems to generate – at least from my unemployed perspective. possibly very detailed petitions could work around it?

5. leaving cash in the box is not only good magically, it also makes it smll very good. this is a very fun thing when youre giving people cash n u see them go Huh?

i think thats the bulk of it? i dont want to be too specific just in case, but im open to answering questions if anyones interested. in conclusion, i would highly recommend this spell type(?), as long as you give it ample time to kick in. i imagine it could be adapted to a lot of traditions and practices!

[b-r-a-i-n-v-o-m-i-t]

Swap AU Premise :)

The people have spoken! My only warning is that you have brough this upon yourself.

The Swap AU as a Concept

The basic premise was that I put a whole bunch of Highschool stereotypes on a wheel, and spun it to randomly assign one to each character. These included archetypes from the original ibvs, but also several additions of my own such as 'band kid' and 'pixie dream girl'.

I created a personality and story for each of the new characters, as well as a whole network of information surrounding them, because I cannot ever chill or stop when I have an idea. Due to each character having such a fair amount of 'lore' behind them, I will probably have to make individual posts or share them in pairs. For now, I will provide each character's new role and a brief summary of their personality.

Felix - Assigned Isaac's role (Unsociable nerd). He's new to Foxfield, having just moved out of a fancy ass private school due to getting picked on by other rich kids. At first he tries very hard to be a tough jock who can't be pushed around, but he's terrible at it and eventually his persona dissolves. He's quiet, very awkward, but very passionate. He loves the supernatural and believes in its existence despite a lack of proper proof.

Autumn - She goes second because back when this was going to be a fic she was the other protagonist. She got assigned manic pixie dream girl. She's very airy-fairy and a bit of a space-cadet, usually talking over people, but she really does love to be around people in general. She likes to make gifts for everyone she meets. Even when she's only had half a conversation with them, she still views them as a friend. She has a hat she always wears even in doors because it helps her attune to psychic energy or something.

Drew - Band kid lol. He started music as an excuse to get out of the house and away from Nevin breathing down his neck, but he found he had a natural affinity for it. He's very popular, the type of kid who's on good terms at least with everyone. He's Foxfield High's collective therapist, and he always gives good advice. He's uplifting, and far more confident and mature than in the original story. This is due to an 'im independent' phase he had after starting music, in which he would not confide even in Abuela no matter how much he struggled. Thus he is less naieve. He is, however, incredibly stubborn, leading to tense relationships with a certain two someones. He sings and plays guitar, mostly folk/folk-rock music.

Dez - She has to go next or nothing makes sense. Dez got Edward's role; Popular jock/school queen. She started out as the leader of a group of self-described 'weirdos', and strongly advocated for self expression. Over time, however, her gaggle of cronies got so big that she kind of took over by sheer force of numbers. Of course they kind of have become the thing they set out to destroy during this process. Dez is a bit situationally unaware, and doesn't seem to realize she is the leader her gang looks up to. As a result they will sometimes cause chaos and she does absolutely nothing about it or accidentally encourages them. Also she is an etsy witch.

Nevin - Got assigned Barry's role (Lorekeeper). Nevin is extremely good at going unnoticed, uncovering things that are hidden, and getting into places he shouldn't be, skills which he has put to good use. He takes what he calls 'commissions', meaning he will get paid by someone (usually Dez) to dig up dirt on whomever his client requests. When he has the information, and if he's feeling nice, he'll graciously grant his victim the opportunity to cough up more money than his client, to stop him sharing what he's found. Sometimes he'll pocket both sums and go and spill the beans anyway because he is sillay like that. What does he need the money for? He won't say. He doesn't seem to have a non-transactional relationship with anyone.

Isaac - Got Felix's role (uh oh). No one can take this greasy little slimeball seriously. He tries very hard to be his idea of a big bad jock, but he's like 'give me your lunch money' and everyone is like 'calm down dude, this isn't High School Musical'. It's obvious that he's playing a persona, but he won't break character. He has a small following of cronies, most of whom are more jock than he is. They go around calling people names and shouting threats, but they're not very feared. For some reason Isaac has decided wearing 13 layers makes him cool, maybe because it means he looks bigger, so he is always very sweaty. This has garnered him several nicknames including 'sewer rat' 'greasy rat' 'grease ball' 'sweat shop' and 'Boss baby' (The latter being courtesy of one 'Drew Jovel')

Edward - Got assigned inverse jock or whatever they're called. Edward is one of Isaac's cronies, and he has more sense than all of them combined. He doesn't actually really like Boss Baby, but he's running his own secret club with Drew that investigates the paranormal, and they think Isaac might know something. Edward acts very much like a detective, viewing everything as a puzzle he needs to piece together before deciding what to think of it all. He's an impartial judge towards everyone and everything, and is very matter of fact about it all. He's also pretty blunt, and straight up just does not bother if he thinks something is a waste of his time.

Chris - Emoooooooo. This is one of the less developed characters. Essentially my concept was that Charlie is far more active in this timeilne, and so partially due to his influence and partially to scare people away Chris began to dress more and more outrageously. He doesn't talk to anyone and always sits by himself. There are a lot of rumors about him, probably thanks to Nevin, and many say he talks to people who aren't there. Really Chris reckons he has enough to deal with, and just wants people to leave him alone. He keeps telling himself things will get better after high school.

Barry - Again, not much. He got 'resident weirdo'. He's one of Dez's minions, but honestly he's a bit creepy even for her standards. He's obsessed with demonology to a concerning degree, even compared to Felix and Edward. The only reason no one is hurt yet is because Dez thinks summoning entities from hell is a neat party trick and so all his time is taken up helping her.

I believe I also assigned roles to some notable cronies of Edward's, but I lost my original list as it was two years old and I moved house since I made it. It is also half past midnight and my brain is not functioning. If people like this enough I will post in more detail about the characters.

[booburt]

Hi, I've been wondering for the photography AU what general time period it's set in, what type of camera(s) does Koby use (it looks like a canon to me but seems to make polaroids, at least that's the surface level observation I can make from my extremely limited knowledge on cameras), what type of photography he personally enjoys and the type he usually does for work (if he does it as his profession too). What does Koby aim to capture with his images, the casual mundane life of an average person, an unreal, etheral sight in a place the average person can't go, Luffy's luffiness, etc? Also what's the general budget Koby has towards camera equipment (doesn't need to be that exact, just a general "he's broke" or "He spends all his money on lenses" would suffice)? My questions are kinda vague here because I'm going to research more about photography later. Thanks in advance :D Oh yeah and also does Koby travel, if not what's the general landscape of his nearby area. You don't need to answer this since I'll probably make it up but it'd be good to know.

okok i wrote this all in the few free periods i got earlier take what you will ^_^

also a doodle i did ages aaaaago with a bit of slightly illegible info in my awful handwriting (sorry)

actual answer vvv

- its a modern au!! so set like. now!

- koby uses sony cameras primarily but yes he does have a few canons (nikon confuses him)

- he has a seperate polaroid camera!!! he usually prints digitally from sd though

- for type of photography, he started with a passion for ocean and landscape photography, mostly beaches and any scene with water in focus. he also has an interest in portraiture but his love for portraiture only comes to play when he meets luffy. cheese cheese cheeeesyyyy because luffy smiles and hes IMMEDIATELY enamoured. anyway, he starts to study and practice portraiture in depth because of the pretty boy he met in maths class and eventually works up the courage to ask him to model for him. they get super close and eventually start dating; luffy likes how dedicated koby is to his work and how cute he is when he blushes.

-SORDY got carried away with the sappy lovey stuff. koby sells his landscape/wildlife photography at local stores as a side hustle thing haha. but he doesnt really do it professionally, he much prefers to keep it as a hobby / simple income.

- koby aims to capture the beauty of colour! he loves vibrancy when shooting with a softbox or some other source of light he will usually use something to change the hue rather than plain old bw on a simple white bg

- following on he HATES shooting black and white photos unless theyre negatives because idk i think he would think it looks cool. what a guy

- with luffy photography he just likes catching luffys smile or just luffy in general; whipped dud!!! he thinks he is gorgeous

- ahahhhh budget budgettt. lenses are fucking EXPENSIVE!!! he uses a 50mm that helmeppo got him for his birthday one year (rich kid stuff. he knew koby likes photography and searched Best Lense For People Pictures and bought the first one he saw) the 50 is canon as consequence so koby uses canon for loofy pics. he has an 18-55mm he uses as well.

- he is broke yes. koby does have a minimum wage weekend job to pay for living expenses but all in all that boys pockets are empty. luffy is the breadwinner (miss rabbit with the one zillion jobs) he works about 4 different jobs and is happy to pay for anything koby wants despite kobys adamant NOs. like i said he gets helmeppo to pay for a bunch of stuff and helmeppo pays on his dads card LOL.

- koby does travel! mainly by train or boat, not often does he go to an entirely different country but he has previously a few times. when he does go abroad he takes luffy with him!!!! (he looks pretty in the snow. he likes taking pictures of him in snow)

IM SO GLAD SOMEONE LIKES MY AU ENOUGH TO ASK ME THIS MANY QUESTIONS LMAO i had fun answering all of this !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tehyunnie]

this was inspired by this

i did this 4 u @strawberry-kirby @mazeinthemoon 🙏🙏💖💖

 A grunt left your lips as you finally sat down after hours of standing and serving customers. Rush hour just passed by and you couldn't be more grateful that it was over.

 Sure it meant more customers but it also meant having to stand around longer and having to put up with more annoying customers.

 You were about to scroll on your phone before your mind began wandering about a certain blonde boy.

 Kai was his name and he was a regular. And by regular, i meant going to the cafe every single day at least two times a day and ordering the exact same thing.

 You even memorized his name, his order, what he looks like, what time he usually comes— which reminds you. Where was he?

 It was already 5:53 pm— which is wayyy past the time he would usually comes. 

 Negative thoughts soon engulfed your minds, what if he found another cafe? what if he got tired of this cafe? what if he just decided to just not come here anymore? what if—

 And speak of the devil and he shall appear.

The door of the cafe swung open, revealing none other than the blondie himself. You could clearly tell he's been running from the way his sweat glistens under the dimming sun; to the way soft panting escaped his beautiful soft lips— wait what?

"Yn! H.. hey!" A breathless kai made his way over to the counter, leaning against it as he catch his breath.

 "Woah slow down there, big guy. Take a deep breath then talk to me." You advised him, a slight undertone of worry hinted in your voice.

 Kai did exactly as you told him and took his time before looking up at you, his eyelashes batted itself at you while a soft smile made its way towards his face.

 "The usual please." he politely said, a cheeky grin now replacing the soft smile. You nodded and typed his order in, ringing it up for him. "Its on the house."

 Kai looked at you before shaking his head "On the house? Pleaseee just take my money pretty." he said while shoving the exact total. You rolled your eyes at this— trying to hide your red face as you shoved the money back at him "No I insist!".

 This goes on for a while before you finally give up and just take his money before dragging yourself to the kitchen to make his strawberry acai.

 Kai sat at his usual spot, waiting for his orders and you.

 You brought out his order, placing it neatly in front of him— then proceeded to drag yourself back behind the counter.

 But before you could get far, kai tugged at your wrist halting you in your steps. "The cafe seems pretty empty so.. chat with me for a bit?" You looked around the cafe before sitting down in front of him.

 Peals of laughter filled the once-quiet cafe, seemingly brightening up the atmosphere. Unfortunately, you both were too busy chatting with each other to notice how the sun has already bid farewell with the moon now replacing its place.

 "Oh, what time is it? I should close up the cafe and you should probably head home now." Kai looked at you, clearly sad now that you have to go. "Don't look so sad now, you'll see me again tomorrow!" 

 Despite saying that, kai's mood didn't seem to change. 

 "Um.. Oh I know!" You quickly grabbed a pen from your apron and wrote something down on a tissue. "Here!" You beamed while sliding the tissue, with your number, towards him.

 Kai's face got noticeably redder upon seeing said tissue. "Text me!" You said while getting up to close up the cafe.

 Kai smiled and grabbed the tissue and shoved it inside his pocket— almost skipping while making his way out of the cafe.

 Just know that your phone will never be empty again after this.

follow my writing blog!! @tehhyunie

[plaindangan]

I'm not entirely sure if Its the blog to ask it but eh, its danganesque enough! Oh nuuuuu, the ladies of project eden's garden are locked in a killing game, the DRAMA. Anyway something something plot, and to get out they must wear slutty costumes and show off their curves. Look I dont know what plot to put this around, basically a disguised tierlist of THICCNESS of the project eden's garden gals, like,tsumugi judging ranking and analyzing the SEX appeal of the girls (in front of them, and tsumoomoo being a total GOONER (who also takes her job very furiously, she wont hesitate to be harsh and even condescending to flatties plain er than plain!) (with each having a stat for boobies, butts, tongue length (as im told by people it matters) and body type (looking at u muscle mommy ingrid) as well as (if you feel like it) sexy costume wore)

Disclaimer: R18 material! If not to your liking then please do not view!

Bust Size

Ass Size

(Forgot Mara - she's in Big and Booty-ful)

Tongue Length

Body Type

(Not in order of favoritism, just a listings of body types so far)

Costumes

(Not in order of favoritism, just a listing of their costumes)

-

"I hear someone wants moi's opinion on the new upcoming spin-off show of Team Danganronpa? Why, I'd be glad to give you a behind the scenes assessment of this nine beauties~"

Tsumugi's Report:

"Best Boobas: "C-come onnnn, this is torture!! Both Eloise and Ingrid are so damn FULL it's unreaaaaaaaaal!!! Who to choose?!! A usuall ynaked-apron having, sweaty, mega-pecs flashing, Ingrid?!! Or a walking wardrobe malfunction that can rival Cowede's in sheer TANK size?!! God it's so haaaarddddd!!....Least Toshiko is a breeze!! Sorry short-stuff, but while shortstacks are appealing, it's better to have some booba than none at all!!!"

"Best Booty: "Okay, this one was a landslide, but it's not as if the others weren't trying............it's just Eloise set the bar too darn high~ Her pudgy, clapcakes, are just, mmmmmhhhhhhhhh!!! Too damn scrumptious!!! It just blows everyone else out of the water, especially Grace - poor bunny has ZERO ass~ Honorable mention to Toshiko and Cassidy!! Toshiko really puts the STACK in shortstack and all those gaming sessions on her ass for Cass really paid off~"

"Best Tongue: Like the chameleon she's fond of, Diana's tongue is friggin' huge! You wouldn't believe me since she's so good at keeping it inside...but get her horny enough? Goddd, it's like if Genocider was a cutie-pie from the staaarrrrrtt! Also do have to give respect for those like Grace who almost cinched the win, Wenona (money can buy you quite the 'pop' sucker, huh?~) and Eva (can see why she gets away with so many lies~). Too bad this is also the category where Ingrid just lacked, admittedly. These days, regular plain-ol lickers just aren't doing enough for the audiences..."

"Body Sizes: "Feels like this is an accurate assessment over which beauty goes where. Though, personally, the network favors pushing girls that are on the muscle mommy side (like a certain ASSassin~) or kind of busty and thicc (a cow-ish pianist would know) As such, Mara, Ingrid, Diana and Eva would generally be the winners here."

"Costumes: Tsumugi's Rating Time!!! They were tasked with wearing a sexy outfit that corresponds with their animal theme!! Let's see how they did!!:"

Cassidy - "Gotta admire a good Spiderman cosplay....albeit, it would have been better if she didn't wind up buying the cheapest one around. All those rips, especially in the peach area, while it makes for good fanservice, it doesn't quite make for good cosplay. 1/5"

Diana - "Attention!! A slutty soldier enters the arena. AKA Diana with a rolled army shirt up to her boobs and a small camo green cargo shorts. But, that's not all!!! Any skin that was showing was covered in quite the impressive body paint as well~ Now that's creative! 5/5"

Eloise - "We really needed to get her a more fitting costume or suggest better stores for her to go to. The ballerina idea was a great idea, but whatever pinhead gave her that costume had it too small for her so....it was pretty much malfunction central~ 2/5"

Eva - "You might wonder how one can make a plague doctor be sexy given how much they cover up. Eva can tell you that at least~ On the surface she was dressed up in quite the thick set of coats...but that was just a feign! Once she took those off, she showed off her skin-tight, leather, bodysuit that was HUGGING her figure! Excellent misdirect!! 5/5"

Grace - "A pink bunny suit!!! Honestly, expected given the hat (if a bit on the plain side), but she really makes it work!! After all, what better than a dirty-talking Aussie woman shouting at you to throw her tips while she poles poles dances for you!! The viewers just eat those sort of things up!! 3/5!"

Ingrid - "I will forever respect Ingrid's dedication to the bit. Sure, her attire was just too darn short and exposed everything from minute one. Sure, she was a bit too rough in her movements and had top & sleeves midway through. Sure, her attempts at making ketchup art on eggs just...had her put too much force into it...but darn she tried and that's what matters!! 1/5"

Mara - "Our resident silent, but sexy girl!! She might not express it much, but I think she really loved dressing up even more than the others. Her ninja outfit had quite the incredible hip vents, that sarashi showed juuuust enough cleavage to it, and can appreciate the full-on face mask given her usual style. Also helps she brought an actual katana with her as well!! Props for her for doing her best!! 4/5"

Toshiko - "Stunning!!! She was a flamenco dancer with quite the moves to back herself up...and, well, back 'it' up as well~ Yeah, you can bet your own booty that Toshiko was shaking her's, and with her curvy hips going into overdrive, it was a performance that really highlighted that she knew her stuff. 4/5"

Wenona - "Money can't buy you happiness, but it sure as Hell can buy you a good berserker outfit. Fur capes, boots and, God that fur bikini was stunning!! It really highlight how goddamn beautiful this rich bitch was and it wasn't as if she neglecting the 'brutal' side of a berserker as well. She even got her own axe to to slice at some wood they brought in - and cut them clean in half!! Guess Wenona is just a perfectionist for these types of things~ 5/5"

"Final Rankings - the P:EG girls were judged and given points based on their placement in the categories, AKA the first two. Getting in first place nets you two points and getting in the second spot gets you 1 point! For the categories of Body Size and Costumes, judging based on how got a '4' and '5' for the latter, and for the former those who the network prefers gets a '2'."

"Now....tallying up the scores we get -!!!!"

"DIANA VENICIA!!!!"

"Congratulations!!! When it comes down to it, this girl just new had the perfect know how to blend in to this environment and be consistently in the top Networks eat cute, yet busty, girls like her for breakfast, that tongue of her's is just PERFECT for getting fantasies to go wild, and her cosplay game makes me just want to hire her for some 'less than safe for work' practices~ Ahhhhhhhh!!!~ She's bound to be a fan favorite for when Eden's Garden first chapter comes about, so all eyes stayed glued to her and her 'talents'~ Director Shirogane demands that of you!!!"

[beyondmoonriver]

Being experienced at life leaves its mark. Being an experienced MIB agent leaves an even deeper one.

As Kay walks into the office, he doesn’t see or hear – he senses something is off. A group of people stand in a corner and chuckle, looking at something on a phone screen. A couple of others talk in whispers, obviously gossiping. Gossips usually don’t bother Kay, except for those which hinder the work.

“What’s so funny?” he asks Jay when sees his small grin.

“An international scandal,” he replies jokingly and explains, “two guys dropped a cake. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal, if it didn’t happen at a Royal wedding, the cake didn’t cost a crazy amount of money and those two weren’t a Prince and Claremont’s son.”

“Now I see why everyone is talking. Couldn’t be any other way, if the First Family is involved. The only question is, why are you interested?”

“‘Interested’ is a strong word, man. I would say,” Jay thinks for a second, “it found me. You’d have to live under a rock to miss this.”

“Or just not be into tabloids and gossip forums,” Kay returns. “Nothing wrong with that, if we’re talking about free time, but I doubt unwanted alien guests would be enthusiastic about your cake stories.”

***

The suspect sits at the table in a corner, waiting for a client to arrive. Jay and Kay watch from a table in an opposite corner. As soon as the client appears, both the buyer and the seller will be captured, but now partners just try to look as casual as possible, as if they are just two friends having lunch and not secret agents.

“How was your trip to Texas?” Jay asks to seem even more normal than, he hopes, he does already. “Nothing new in good old South?”

Kay nods and takes some leaflet out of his pocket to fan himself. The heat is unbearable even in New York, the air in a cheap diner is hot and thick.

“Getting an AC won’t kill them,” Jay mutters.

Kay hands the leaflet over to his partner, and he reads,

“Vote for Democrats, vote for the future. Didn’t take you for this type of guy. I mean, it’s not like you to accept political stuff – or any stuff, really – from strangers.”

“Hard not to when it’s shoved into your hands by Mr. First Son himself.”

“Wait, what?” Jay gasps in surprise. “You saw the First Son?”

“In the flesh. The kid ran up to me in the street, started talking a mile a minute; ‘Hello, Sir, your suit suits you, Sir, have a nice day at your Special Service, Sir!’ And a second later he was already chatting to someone else.”

“At least he didn’t think you were from funeral service”, Jay chuckles.

“You know,” Kay looks at his partner thoughtfully, as if studying him, “you two have something in common.”

“Oh?”

“You both are…” he pauses, looking for a right word.

“Illegally handsome?” Jay winks. “Or charming beyond limits?”

“I was going to say ‘loud’.”

***

One day, several months later, when Kay enters HQ, the office is buzzing. Two young female agents stand right in the doorway and argue, gesturing emotionally.

“Didn’t see that coming! I mean, dating? Them?”

“That was pretty clear to me,” her friend replies boastfully. “The first time I saw them together I knew there was a spark.”

“But why go for him? He gives off those crazy straight-white-male vibes. An odd match for someone not as privileged.”

“Well, turns out, he’s not so straight after all,” she chuckles. She opens her mouth to add something, but then her eyes flicker towards Kay. Both girls stop smiling this instant, mumble their apologies and walk away as quickly as their high heels let them.

“What’s going on?” Kay asks cautiously when he approaches Jay. “You seem to keep track of all the drama.”

“Just people enjoying reading other people’s emails,” Jay sighs. “Pretty fucked up, if you ask me.”

Looking at his partner, Jay notices the signs of tension, invisible to others but clear as day to him, and adds, “It’s not about us, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Of course, Kay would never admit he was worried (or that he was capable of worrying in the first place), but his muscles relax a little, face expression softens.

“Those guys,” Jay explains, and for some reason Kay knows whom he means. “Someone hacked their emails, posted on Reddit and leaked to the press. A shitty thing to do. Poor boys.”

“Democrats are doomed,” Kay remarks. “In South, at least.”

“Yeah, things definitely went south for them,” Jay jokes, but his smile is anything but cheerful.

***

“Turns out, the guy’s too serious when it comes to keeping his word.”

They are in some diner again, watching the president’s speech on a TV hanging on a wall behind the counter.

“What do you mean?” Kay asks, his gaze fixed on a blonde young man holding hands with Alexander. He seems familiar, but it’s hard to recall who exactly he was.

“He said he was going to flip Texas, but he flipped the whole damn world,” Jay smiles, looking proud, as if he was secretly cheering for the First Family, both old and new members. “With the UK in the first place.”

Suddenly Kay remembers, and it all falls into place.

“Funny, though,” Jay remarks, “HRH has been in the spotlight for his whole life, but the aliens we welcome don’t look half as scared as he does.”

“Well, usually they don’t come to us after both family and international scandals.”

“Ain’t that the truth.”

Jay has been sympathetic with them for this whole time. This must be infectious; for some reason Kay can’t help but feel happy for these boys too.

huge thanks to @larsulrichburneracc for pre-reading and giving advice!!

[kimyoonmiauthor]

Another correction with GenAI as the lead

Leads with a GenAI image, so... still give it a chance? Maybe not written by AI but by a human? Then why so many errors?

A great way to tank yourself as a creator is to use a GenAI image as a cover, as part of your marketing. People will start to doubt if you wrote anything.

So to demonstrate, I'm going to go through the errors in this article. Because often people think, "Oh, self-pub is EASY and I'll make all the mulah" from articles like these, but the hardships aren't showing up.

The first issue is this table...

Screenshot 2024-12-24

That's an odd thing....

Did you write this?

So this is attributed to Jane Friedman, who is a real person.

The problem with this chart is that this is not her chart. Look at the actual chart here: https://janefriedman.com/key-book-publishing-path/

Huge honking red flag.

This is shaky legal ground, I would think too, attributing a work that is soooo clearly shoddy to a professional.

This is also why it's so filled with errors.

So let's go over the items: Trad Publishing:

Publisher contracts with author for rights to manuscript

Not always easy to sever relationship

Possible royalty paid up front and with book sales; author may need to pay for extras

Offset printing for large runs

Traditional Publishing Today The “Big Five” major publishing groups handle most traditional publishing, earning approximately 25% of their income from ebooks. You must secure an agent to present your work to these (or most other) houses. Getting an agent can be a daunting task, and crafting an agent’s query letter is an art in itself, but it’s necessary to avoid your request landing in their proverbial slush pile. Once a publisher accepts your manuscript, they own its rights, and your contract specifies what they can do with it. You receive royalties, while they manage editing, cover design, marketing, and distribution. You have minimal input or control over these processes, but they cover all associated costs. A traditionally published book can take up to two years to reach bookstore shelves. Royalties from traditional publishers are smaller than those received from self-publishing, but an expected larger number of sales offsets this.

The “Big Five” major publishing groups handle most traditional publishing, earning approximately 25% of their income from ebooks.

That's their source. No. It's authors who earn about 10-25% from ebook sales of their total sales within traditional publishing. This does not mean the publishers do.

I smell genAI. Like how could you be an author and miss this from your *checks source* Reddit and Quora??? Like really? You're taking these figures from Quora?

Again, for small presses that are genuine small presses, you DO NOT ALWAYS need an agent, however, when dealing with an entity not your own with a long term contract, you should have an IP lawyer or an agent or at least be up on your legal shit before you sign.

Getting an agent can be a daunting task, and crafting an agent’s query letter is an art in itself, but it’s necessary to avoid your request landing in their proverbial slush pile.

This sounds like a copy-paste of the other article?? Is genAI spreading misinformation and bad organization skills?

A query letter ain't that difficult. Does it take time? Yes, but can you learn the art of it? Yes.

To be clear, the system for trad publishing, which is why I have suspicions they didn't really do the research is:

query an agent (usually for bigger presses and medium sized presses)

If you get accepted, then you go to signing the contract with the agent, who usually asks for 15-20% of your total earnings. Money flows first to you.

You have to make a comp package.

The comp package goes out to editors at presses. You need to communicate clearly to your agent which type of publishers you wish to court.

The book is picked up by a publisher who edits your manuscript and often works with you on your press releases, etc. Sometimes you are given control of the cover. If you make the cover yourself, make sure you get paid separately for that. There should be a built-in reversion clause. !@#$ Make sure there is a reversion clause.

The payment from the advance is made out in installments over a long period of time.

If the publisher fails to publish, then the rights should revert back to you. Usually the time period is a year (more likely) or two.

The book is then after copyedits, etc released at a given date.

You get your first payment on the first book signing (usually)

Royalties only happen after the advance amount is met in sales, not before then.

I should note that often people who are shitty at queries are great at synopses and people who are shitty at synopses are great at queries.

So let's go over the list items:

Publisher contracts with author for rights to manuscript

Yes. This is true. Limited rights to publish the manuscript in various forms. The publisher pays for each form of the media which should be delineated in the contract. Look out for in perpetuity. Agent, reversion should be in the contract especially sinc eit's popular these days for publishers to try to screw you over by saying they own your manuscript's license for the rest of your life+copyright time. That's what the reversion is for.

Not always easy to sever relationship

More often than not the publisher severs the relationship with the writer by usually either non-payment or failing to publish. It's often more often than not for the writer to be both paid and published.

The only reason to sever is if there is something egregious.

Possible royalty paid up front and with book sales; author may need to pay for extras

Untrue.

The ADVANCE is the usually 15K-20K for the PoC authors. And that you have to make back in sales. A whopping 20% only make that back. You in effect borrow that against the sale of your book. But if you ask for a lower advance, you better ask for a higher royalty rate.

The "standard" royalty rate is around 20-30% last I saw.

You absolutely do NOT need to pay for marketing, editing, translation, etc. The publisher handles all of that and the covers, typesetting, etc. They sometimes will also assign a publicist, though famously, this is usually for famous white male authors, which shouldn't get me into trouble since it's been reported waaaaayyyy back.

Offset printing for large runs also make books available through online channels

They do absorb the cost for printed books. They do help with listing it on amazon and getting you an official ISBN, etc.

With Indie the problem is the costs are absorbed by the author.

I've known writers to pay up to 5,000-25K dollars to be published. Which is eye watering. And you should be getting full service editing at that point.

You can also circle around and get no profit and face a loss of 4,995. Again, you need great marketing to make any money off of it and be aware of marketing, which you may or may not know.

I've seen authors that only got 5 dollars back from their sales because they simply don't know how to market their book. They didn't do the reading, they didn't start doing the marketing, their marketing is too timid, they didn't know how to network to other writers, etc.

The most successful online sales writers usually write shorter works, nonfiction, and put a lot of effort into doing a professional type setting and layout, including the covers. They really put themselves out there in terms of marketing. They know how to build connections, get onto podcasts, into newspapers and know how to angle themselves so they can break that 10% barrier.

But this comes with an additional cost as well. These people often don't have the time to write another book because the time chasing podcasts and arranging, etc is the time you're not writing. So to be an indie author, you really, really need to be able to make back your investment and research before you write the book.

True Indie authors have to write a TON of books in addition to the marketing. And it's an eye watering amount.

As for combination outfits...

They are often rife with scams, and usually aren't worth your time. It's often better to find a small limited press that's genuine with a genuine track record than to pay a combination press.

The problem is when you do indie there are less automatically there supporting authors to help you out.

BUT getting through the doors of trad publishing is hard and you may, especially as a queer disabled PoC, etc face more discrimination.

Ultimately, the choice is yours, but I wouldn't listen to the idea that Indie publishing is a quick and easy buck either. You have to absorb a lot of costs up front, and have A++ hussle game. This doesn't mean that Trad publishing doesn't have the problem of you having to do your marketing, but there are more support systems in play.

Either way, I'd look at Jane Friedman's actual chart rather than what seems to be an AI generated chart. I defer to people who have experienced it all versus a chart that is wholly inaccurate.

So my last bit of advice is this:

Gen AI is not your friend.

It never will be and never should be used for official articles or images. There is nothing faster to tank your sales than to use GenAI for those things. Nobody wants to read GenAI. And GenAI fails become rapidly apparent when people do things like fact check you and find out you got your info from Reddit and Quora and didn't pause for a hot minute to consider if that was the wisest source, which then makes people think, you're a shitty writer, or you used GenAI. Don't do it. Don't be a creator that steals from other creators, whether they are known to you or not.

Humans love, love when they feel something genuine from your heart and work. Practical effects are coming back in movies.

And there is always someone like me out there that will check your work. And I'll catch you. Like Kenneth Rowe stealing from other writers, despite being a Lit professor. I'll be sure to let people know. And do you want to do that to yourself?

Simply don't do it.

[saffronscales]

ADSHFSAKKSBVJAIKA Hi hi hi i found ur “anyalive au” recently AND I’M IN LOVE WITH IT!!!! I LOVE UR ANYA DESIGN SOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH FAT ANYA IS UNDERATED!!!! AKAKFSJHAHAHJ!!! I hope u don’t mind a few questions i have so sorry if u answered these before i have a bad memory on many details but i’ll try!

does anya keep looking into getting in to medical school? if she does, how does she get money for it?

wat was it like when she lived with curly? tense? sad?

how does anya deal with her trauma with jimmy? is she very very mad that he is still alive? what support does she have?

Dat should be all of mine! ONCE AGAIN I AM IN LOVE WITH UR AU AND UR ANYA DESIGN I SAID IT ALREADY BUT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT!! Have a good day! :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD. HOLY SHIT. HELLO??? HELLO??? ANON DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING. YOU JUST SET A LIVE BOMB. (positive)

i think anya looked into medical school to help people- to make someone’s day better for them, at least. she’s never ever given up on that- she’s just not the type of person to. however the “monetary compensation” that she and curly got for the absolute bullshit they faced was only really going to last them a year or two- otherwise they would have to find a way to live in the capitalist society theyre in right now. fast. while anya is still working on a way to get money for groceries/rent/etc. she is also trying to figure out a way to achieve this dream before its too late. she hopes its not too late. and then she remembers that its sort of the same as it always was and she throws up a little (dont worry it gets better for her in the end) she works in retail to get the money and ends up becoming more financially stable once she moves in with nurse

OH BOY it was something with curly. yes she was tense. yes she was sad. she was miserable even but admitting that feels like betraying something inside herself so she doesn’t do it. yes she was ANGRY and she wanted to HURT and she felt horrible because what is she even going to say. he can’t even do anything now so what’s the point. there’s really nothing that’s ever changed and she’s still feeding him painkillers and making sure he’s okay and remembering what he did and remembering what he didn’t do and she realises that it’s sort of the same as it always was and she throws up a little (there might be a theme to this)

anya doesnt even know how to feel about it. it feels different- like something should have happened. she’s always been resilient and shes always gotten through things knowing that good things will come around and if its not good its not what’s coming around- but she’s really wondering because he’s still alive. he’s still alive but he’s in jail and he can’t hurt anybody but she still feels so hurt but she can��t get stuck on these things when she has things to take care of- she’s still working, after all. she’s still trying, after all. even when she wants to rip her own skin off.

MY THOUGHTS ARE REALLY JUMBLED (as they usually are) also @blimbo-buddy come get your juice