#i think ignoring me would make me the most sad

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

Home (you) | Gi-hun x Wife!Reader |

Summary: He finally returns to you.

Warnings: Post S1 - Non canon events - Non canon background for Gi-hun - Sad!Gi-hun - Paranoid!Gi-hun - Trauma - Soft!Moments  - NON CANON EVENTS FROM S2  - ANGST -

When Gi-hun was left with nothing but his underwear and a credit card full of zeros his mind did nothing but drift off.

He could not forget them. The others, the ones who died in order for him to be here today. Alive, looking at the account, sounds and smells from the city, ignorance from what had happen to him and others.

Gi-hun knew you were there, at the small aparment you two shared. The small yet filled with love place. It was his safe heaven, the home he loved. Where you waited for him, never once judged him and rather tried to help.

You have been nothing but the best wife, woman and friend. More than what he could ask for and more of what he deserves.

In his mind you should have left him, for someone better. But he could be selfish and when it came to you he was.

But now after everything that had happen..did he deserve to go back to you ? To his life ? When he had promise that he would not dissapear again? But he still did ? Knowing he may not be back ?

His mind driffted back and he found himself walking without a destination, not caring for the cold or nasty looks along the way.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Another morning came, the bed felt cold but you have to get used to it. Thats whar you keep telling yourself. However when you see the ring on your finger you cant help but let out some tears before getting up and prepare for the day.

It has been at least three months now since Gi-hun dissapear without a way to find him.

You tought the loan sharks would look for you but that never happened. Part of you did wonder if they had killed him but when being confronted by you they just said a quick excuse and went off.

You hated your life without him. Besides the pity looks you got at your work or the few words of compassion, you missed him. A lot. You were used to his laught, to his touch, the silly jokes he would make...but that was in the past now.

With a bottle of shake you went to your home. Another day, another week, you should think on moving maybe that way it would hurt less. But the memories with him were deep in your mind and you could not shake them off.

You were going to Open the old door when you took notice that it was slighty Open.

A robbery ? The loan sharks decided to come ?

You moved the door slowly, the old thing making a sound that felt louder than it actually was. The aparment was dark, no light or sight of life. It was just and the forniture.

Or at least thats what you thoguth when suddendly you hear a muffled "fuck" and "I never cleaned that"

Even if it was small you knew in an instant from who it was. You went there, not caring if maybe your mind was playing you a cruel trick. You needed to know.

Once outside the bedroom you turned on the lights seeing his form trying (and failing) to repair some broken base he had most likely knock off.

You also took notice on the big spoot on the wall, yeah it was caused by him once and he never took care of it, but it added personality to the room.

He looked at you. Eyes big like a fish, he was a mess. Hair larger and dirty.

"Gi-hun?" You called taking a step towards him while he took one back. He did not want you to see him like this. He came on impulse, a rational part of him said to not come, but his feelings....he missed you. Wanted you again by his side.

"Please tell me this is real" You tried again voice now breaking as you stopped one hand reaching for him.

Gi-hun felt his heart break, he moved slowly taking your hand in his, the same hand that he had used to fight off Sang-woo was now holding yours.

He almost fell as you pulled him into a big hug, crying on his chest, you had to take a moment to listen to his heart beat. You eyes going over his face.

"Oh Gi-hun...what happened to you?" You asked pulling him for a hug again his own hands returning it with more force. He never wanted to let go of you again.

"(Y/N)...Please" His voice broke at the end "Hold me, I will tell you everytning but please"

He fell on his knees you followed still hugging him, his cries were muffled by your shirt as she held you like you were the only thing that could keep him sane.

"Shh I got you Gi-hun, let it out"

He cried for a bit more only moving when he felt you move from discomfort because of how you two were.

"Gi-hun...you should take a bath" You said to him very careful "I can prepare it for you.."

"Will you stay?" He asked his eyes letting out the raw vulnerability he was feeling

"Of course I will, I will stay with you"

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

Gi-hun havent feel this...relaxed in such a long time. You carefully washed his hair, and relaxed his tensed back. There was nothing sexual out of it. Just you taking care of him.

And it felt like heaven.

"Im going to brush your hair a bit is that alright with you?" You asked from behind him inside the bathtub  worried that it might trigger something from him.

But Gi-hun just nodded letting out a content sound when the brush made contact with his hair. You were very patient with him, slowly untangling his now long hair. He knew he needed to get it cut off. But he had let himself be lost and...and he could not bring to take care of himself.

"We should also cut your beard too..if you want" You softly asked after you ended with his hair doing a small bow that made him look quiet cute.

He touched his beard without realizing how long it had got. But finally gave a nod to you. He saw you move towards the cabin getting the tools and now taking a seat in front of him.

"Im going to do this slow, ok? You tell me if I need to stop" You tone let him knew that he was the one in charge of the situation. You did not know what had happen to him but it must be more than the old threats the loan sharks would use against him.

No, this was something worse. And you wanted him to feel safe with you.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~○~

After it you offered him a fresh change of clothes. He asked you to stay with him and you nodded. He was slimmer than the last time you have seen him. And there were some bruises too. You wanted to ask him, to know what did happen. But you also knew he would come around, that you needed to be patient with him.

After he changed he muttered that he was tired and you were ready to guide him back towards the bedroom you two shared.

To him the bed sheets felt softer than he did remember. Even if the mattress was old it was better than the beds from the games. A shiver ran down his spine and he had to hold his head to prevent memories from coming back.

"Gi-hun..."

"Can you get me some water...? Please" Gi-hun asked his voice almost breaking. He did not want you to see him like this. So broken so....

He had no words to describe the pain he was feeling.

He felt when you left, and he decided to take some deep breaths, letting the familiar smell of the room fill his sense. He was back, he was at home.

"Gi-hun? I got your water?" You said from besides him giving him the glass as he gulped it down.

And you were with him.

He finally looked at you. Seeing how tired you were. It must have been difficult for you. To be alone and worried over him. He wanted to blame himself even more for leaving you like that. He did not deserve you and part of him wanted you to hate him for leaving and then be back without a explaination.

But as he looked all over you his eyes ended in your hand, most precise on the ring. You were still using it, a solid proof you never gave up on him.

"(Y/N).." Gi-hun said your name with so much care as he took your hands on his bring them up to kiss them. "Im sorry, im sorry that I left you. Im sorry for not coming back sooner" He said between broken sobs. "I know I must have caused you so much pain, and im so sorry for it"

"Gi-hun please stop, you know I would have waited for you a lifetime" You responded gently caressing his face "I dont know what happened to you, and you dont have to tell me. I will wait till you are ready. Just know, I love you. And that wont ever change, just...dont leave me again"

"Never, I wont ever leave you again (Y/N)...you are all I have and all I will ever have. You are the most important thing to me, and from now on I will do my best to show you how grateful im for you being by my side. For putting up with me"

You smiled at him giving him a soft kiss then pushing him down so he could get comfortable.

"And you are the best thing that ever happened to me Gi-hun. You dont have to prove me anything" You laid besides him both facing each other. He pulled you against his chest his face on your hair.

"Promise you wont ever let me go? Not tonight or ever ? Even if...things change" Gi-hun knew he was a different Man now, he could not just ignore his trauma. He was positive nightmares would still come to haunt him and that at some point he would tell you the truth.

But not tonight. Tonight all he wanted was for you to hold him and promise him that everything would be fine.

"I wont ever let you go Gi-hun, not tonight or ever. You are with me till death do us apart, remember ? Now get some sleep I will be here once you wake up"

And that was all he needed to hear. For the first time since he won these games...he got a nice sleep. Besides you anything seemed to be possible. Even finding his way back to life.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Would most people realistically use 'carry' and 'convey' as synonyms in typical speech?? Seems a slightly reaching comparison to me lol

[atopvisenyashill]

What would happen if Joffrey executed both Ned and Sansa?

I mean…a small riot happens? but maybe not? things definitely get more tense between the north and the iron throne that’s for damn sure. There’s not a reason to execute Sansa - she cooperated, she tried to help Cersei, and she’s eleven, and Ned specifically confessed to keep Sansa safe. If Joffrey says “all traitors and traitor’s blood must die” and then has eleven year old Sansa’s head lopped off in front of a crowd, i do imagine this is gonna ruffle some feathers.

There’s a few flashpoints here - the actual execution, Robb’s reaction to it, and Tywin’s reaction to Robb. Take the execution first.

there’s not a lot Ned can do in this situation but if Joffrey is stupid enough to say he’s going to kill them both, Ned is not going to willingly walk to his death. He’s gonna start screaming that Joffrey is a bastard born of incest, or he’s going to insist that Sansa is innocent and he never told anyone of his treason, but either way he’s gonna get the crowd riled up and start acting up to get Joffrey to change his mind, and let us remember how recent it was that a stark father pleaded for the life of his child and a stark child pleaded for the life of their father In This Very King’s Landing. If this becomes A Whole Big(ger) Scene, that’s bad. If Joffrey kills Ned and THEN says “actually bring Sansa up here too”  - and doesn’t Sansa pass out at some point after Ned is killed?? - what does he do here? Has her woken up so he can kill her? has her executed while she’s passed out or heaving and sobbing and saying she never betrayed him and she loves him? I don’t think Joffrey has enough reason to execute her, and if Ned, Sansa, or both are yelling and pleading as they’re held down and executed, it’s gonna give a lot of people flashbacks. He can do it, of course, but I do think there will be some hesitancy, maybe some arguing, and probably some loudly expressed opinions. and meanwhile Arya is watching all of this happen with Yoren. What is KL going to even look like after this? by the time Tyrion gets there, what’s happened without Sansa there? Dontos is dead. Littlefinger has to go back to fixating on Catelyn. Joffrey has started sexually abusing random maids and ladies because he has had no Sansa outlet for his temper. They can’t hold onto staff because Joffrey put Sansa’s head on a spike and won’t take it down and it’s freaking people out. Cersei and Joffrey keep having knock out fights in public over what to do about Jaime. Joffrey is devolving much faster here, and Jaime’s life hangs in the balance. 

Then there’s Robb’s reaction to whatever the hell happens in this scenario. He has just captured Jaime, and remember Cersei was nervous about Joffrey killing Ned bc Robb might kill Jaime in reprisal. If Joffrey executes Sansa? I think without Sansa as a hostage, Robb gets more reckless on the whole. I don’t think he’ll do anything stupid - nor would the lords at Riverrun agree to anything they thought was stupid - but Rickard Karstark and Edmure Tully as well as several other lords, are pushing for Jaime to be killed. He’s not fighting to save anyone at the capital anymore; this has strictly become a rebellion. I’m sure the Lannisters would try to lie about having Arya but Robb has Jaime, he has Riverrun, he has the North, he has everything to lose, and the Lannisters have no bargaining chip. Even if you assume battles and tactics stay completely the same, would Catelyn release Jaime in this scenario, if she knows Sansa is dead, and they have zero proof Arya is alive and zero explanation for her disappearance? I think it’s more likely she’s either continuing to work as an envoy, praying she’ll get word of Arya from someone if only she keeps asking and searching, or somehow in contact with Tyrion, trying to get more information on what may have happened. It’s possible she still gets herself in trouble, but is she going to just randomly set Jaime free? No, not without proof Arya is alive. Robb could choose to use Jaime in his terms - acknowledge me as King in the North and of the Trident, get your people out of the Riverlands, agree to these borders, and I’ll give you Jaime back - or give into the anger of the people around him and send Cleos Frey back to KL with Jaime’s head and a note that says fuck you and your family. Even if Stannis and Renly are still acting dumb (likely), and Catelyn comes back with Brienne and a wild story, does Robb just send her back out as an envoy to someone else? I mean potential shadow baby assassins notwithstanding, Jaime’s presence at Riverrun (or death to lord over everyone) is useful for Robb here. 

(I keep dancing around Arya because - is Yoren unable to stop her from straight up storming the execution, if Sansa gets brought out? In the commotion of whatever scene is happening, does Arya get lost? Get caught? Get hurt? Are there more guards out looking for her because she’s the only chance Cersei has of trading for Jaime now? Can she even get out of KL? Is Yoren more desperate to hand her off quickly now that he’s seen Sansa get executed? Lots of factors here!) 

Then there’s Tywin’s reaction to Robb. Jaime may or may not have been executed but he’s certainly in a much more perilous situation. Even with Roose helping to sabotage shit (would Roose decide this is the time to enter his villain era or would he figure joffrey is too much of a risk, and bide his time a bit more??), even if Robb still sends Theon with the exact same deal, at the exact same time, and that happens the exact same way, Tywin has to take into account that Jaime is a hostage in Riverrun when he gets to king’s landing to scheme the red wedding up, OR he gets to King’s Landing ready to scheme the wedding up and devices something 100x more brutal because Robb killed Jaime. Lannister dynamics are WILDLY different here with Jaime not coming back with Brienne, too!! 

Uh anyways the point is I think most everything in Westeros is affected by this.

My opinion is that KL becomes much more stressful to live in, because Joffrey has to crack down on the population, because they didn’t appreciate him killing Sansa, and also Cersei is hysterically angry with him, Tyrion has a much harder time getting control of the city back, the Tyrells are much more nervous about negotiations with Littlefinger in Bitterbridge, and Catelyn does not set Jaime free, which puts both the Iron Throne and the North/Riverlands in a weird ass position. 

[sysig]

Bad time of it, all things considered (Patreon)

[creepy-scrawl]

My gf begged me to be on FB and I went there for a week and I felt so 🤡🤡🤡🤡 bc her main argument is that she misses me so much and "that is a way to interact in our day to day" but I'm there w no one to talk to and she is not even there. It just made me feel so stupid and even sadder bc I feel so alone in my relationship.

[lapdogchase]

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

[loverdotpng]

Found more really cute images of him

[floral-hex]

real depressing, probably delete when I’m not miserable and about to fall asleep

Ummm how do trigger warnings work here… tw: substance abuse. Alcohol. Uhhhhmmm just general sad times.

I’ve been thinking a lot about drinking again. Not that I was ever an alcoholic, but… maybe I was a little. I get a little loose with anything that makes me feel good. Long story short, apropos of nothing, I got drunk one New Year’s Eve a couple years back. It was nice. Then I kept getting drunk once or twice or thrice every week for a year before I decided it wasn’t worth it any more. Stopped being as effective, made me gain a bunch of weight, and was just all around a pricey habit. So… I mean, why would I think about doing that to myself again?

Life fucking sucks. A lot. My mom is slowly dying, some days worse than others. I’m so drained and exhausted and I hate this. She’s been in the hospital for about a week now, her second extended hospital stay in two months. I don’t know how to cope with this. I’m taking care of my brothers right now and it’s just so much. Cleaning, shopping, making sure they eat, taking care of them, the animals, everything, driving to see my mom who’s almost an hour away. I’m emotionally exhausted and I feel so alone and scared and to add on to that my hearing started to get muffled today and I’m worried another wave of intermittent hearing loss is coming on. It makes me feel so closed off. I’m trapped. I feel trapped and suffocating and scared and my mom is dying and I’m so alone and don’t know what to do and I just want something that will, even temporarily, take some of that away. I used my last klonopin today and it didn’t do much of anything for me. I just want to get so fucked up out of my mind that I can’t worry about anything. I’m barely sleeping. I’m so tired. I just want to be held. I want someone to hold me and tell me it will all be okay, even if it won’t. I just want someone to lie to me and comfort me for a little while. I’m so scared. I don’t know how to do this. I can do this because I have to. I don’t know how, though. I’m just flinging myself forward, or the world is pushing me forward, I can’t tell the difference right now. I hate saying all of this. I feel so needy. I know I’m allowed to be needy. My therapist gets on to me for always qualifying what I’m saying or down playing or ignoring my feelings, but I feel like such a burden when I complain. I don’t want to be selfish. I’ll suffer in silence all day, I don’t want to add more stress to everyone else. I have to be a rock. I have to be steadfast. I don’t know where to put it down. I don’t know where to rest myself. There is no where. There is nothing. My ears are full of droning noise and I’m in this dark room and I feel so cut off from the world. Like I’m in a small dark box and outside the box I know my life is falling apart but I just can’t quite make out what’s happening. I can’t see but shadows through dark glass. I want to stop feeling like this.

So I’ve been thinking about alcohol. and weed. and whining on some dating app about wanting to make out. I took a vistaril earlier, too, but it really didn’t do anything for me. It’s not an anxiety attack, it’s… it’s the void. and sadness. and stress. and loneliness. It’s too heavy. It’s too much.

I just need to sleep. What a loser.

[wewontbesleeping]

when you’re in love, really in love, you always feel like you finally did it, like you cracked the code and Beat The Odds and you found It. Soulmates are real and everything is perfect now. When I fell in love for the first time, I thought “how could anyone ever get divorced? just wait until you get THIS feeling, and then you know it will last forever!” and now I look back into that relationship and think I don’t even recognize either person who was in it. Things break and burn and end and it’s interesting to me to see people say about Taylor and Joe “but she really thought it was forever, something terrible must have happened” and all I can say is that we always do think it’s forever, and frankly people who are in love are not the best judges of reality. I don’t know anything about their relationship and it’s honestly not really my business, but I’m just reflecting on it right now as I think about my own long term relationship and the potential direction it will go.

[theartinmyheart]

.

[itsalwaysdark]

read asoue to weeman as a bedtime story he liked it YAYYYY

[urdtarah]

ugggggggggghhh

[kuuhaiyu]

i really can't emphasize how heartbreaking it is that the recent harassment campaign against @/90-ghost (among others; see: 1, 2, 3) has led to well-meaning people telling others not to listen to him. he is one of the most visible survivors of the genocide here on tumblr. his entire journey of escape is so well documented! and yet, it only took a few people confidently pointing fingers to create an entire witch hunt accusing him and other palestinians of being disreputable scammers and liars.

i can't help but feel like the reason why people were SO eager to believe those accusations, is because it was uncomfortable to see posts from palestinians every day asking for our time, attention, money, and support; so when someone presented the perfect excuse to ignore all those posts and asks while also taking the high ground, people just LEAPED onto it. they wanted to believe it, because it would be more comfortable.

honestly, i understand feeling overwhelmed by bad news, by the number of asks and messages in your inbox, and so on and so forth. i understand needing to set boundaries for yourself so you don't get burned out. i think this is really when you have to have a set of principles to fall back on, even when you're tired, uncomfortable, angry, and/or sad. so here's the one i suggest, which has been working for me best: don't make your discomfort with this situation into someone else's problem, and for god's sake don't make it a public problem.

if you hate seeing fundraiser posts or news about gaza, i can't emphasize this enough, JUST MOVE ON. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND SCROLL PAST! all you have to do is absolutely nothing. which is what you were doing anyway, so it shouldn't be hard. if you don't have the heart to read, or reblog, or share, or donate, or support in other ways, at the very least, don't obstruct the efforts of people who ARE trying to make a difference. this is, quite literally, the least you can do.

[lilowoof]

OUGH, these feelings of loneliness have been so strong lately.... going from having someone to talk to here n there to just radio silence kinda hurts, ngl X'D

I've done this song n dance before and IDM waking up to no messages or not having ppl close to me to chat to but still! Having a taste of closeness with ppl, only for it to be ripped out of my hands, by my choice, or theirs, or both just...... It hurts!

Thankfully I do have some great pals whom I can reach out to if needed so it's not like I am 100% alone XDD I guess I'm just trying to readjust to the current situation. And I know that I have the power to reach out to ppl and also to check out events in town to meet ppl! It's hard for me to do those things but I have the power to, gotta give myself grace and take things one step at a time, as I usually do!

I just wish it didn't hurt so badly haha!! (also this is not an invitation for ppl to dm me (unless u really want to for some reason). I just like writing down my thoughts so I can dissect them better and of course not bottle things up, etc etc)

[chaepink]

can u make headcannons on sub!yan’s tendencies in the relationship?

also can i be 🉑 or 🌝 anon?

dating sub!yandere boys hcs ♡

sub!yandere boys when they date you.

wc: 1.1k+ words | masterlist

dom!fem!reader, unhealthy relationship, mention of killing/murder, both sfw and nsfw!, mention of feminization, bondage

note: yes you can be 🌝 anon!

— your yandere would be possessive of you, even more compared to when you two were just friends

— well, you thought you two were just friends. he already assumed you two were together sometime earlier during his friendship with you

— he would do anything for you in order to make sure you're happy and safe

— a friend of yours is getting too touchy with you? well the next day that friend is ignoring you and when you confront them, they look at you scared and quickly scurry away from you. did your yandere do something to them? surely not

— a weird guy keeps following you around your neighborhood? well a couple of days later you see on the news that his body has been found near a river and weirdly enough, you havent seen your yandere on the days before the guy's death

— you complain to your yandere about how a teacher gave you a bad grade on something you worked so hard on? suddenly your grade changes to a A and that same exact teacher suddenly resigns from the school

— he'll try his best to know where you are most of the time and try to follow you back home to make sure you're safe (though its really obvious, you don't acknowledge him so he thinks he's actually doing something)

— but no matter how scary and possessive they are of you, they just want to be good for you, really

— its almost as if they're a puppy for you, always there for your beck and call

— give them a simple command and they'll do it immediately, no questions asked

— ask them to buy you a snack from the nearest store? he'll return back with a bagful of others that he thought you would like

— they're super clingy and always want to be near you

— somehow they manage to have the same exact classes that you have and at the same time. maybe you guys are just lucky? little do you know that your yandere hacked into the principal's computer to change his schedule to fit with yours

— if you're sick, they would immediately fetch you some medicine and make so many bowls of your favorite soup that you're not sure you could finish them all

— they would be so sad when you're sick cause that means they can't be as close as they usually are with you :(

— in bed, nothing changes at all. rather, he becomes even more infatuated with you

— they're still so good and obedient for you, always following your commands. its cute

— like what i said with him doing it with no hesitation, your yandere is eager to do what you say

— tell him to get on his knees? say less as he's already doing so, staring up at you with such innocent eyes

— tell him to open his mouth for you to stick your fingers inside? he opens wide and sticks out his tongue in such a sinful manner, hazy eyes absolutely begging you to make him choke on your fingers as drool drips down his chin

— order him to suck your strap and get it all wet? he's quick to get in between your legs and get his hands on the fake dick, his mouth going straight to bobbing it up and down and gagging as it hits the back of his throat. he'll try to subtly grind his hard on against your foot without you noticing but you do anyways but he's being a good boy so you allow it

— and oh my god is he so shameless in public

— no hesitation in telling you what he wants you to do to him when there are people around

— you'll be at brunch with some of your friends and suddenly you'll feel a hot breath on your ear, such sinful words coming soon after

"im wearing lingerie under my clothes, your favorite set too. wouldn't you like to just ruin me right here and now? make me cry and look so pretty while you show everyone im yours?"

— safe to say that you immediately dragged him to the family bathroom and fingered him until he was gripping onto you for dear life, begging and crying out for you to stop and take pity on him (he's lying about wanting you to stop)

— when you're out with errands or just at work, he'll take such sinful pictures of himself to send to you randomly

— the pictures would include his legs spread out, a obvious bulge in his underwear, and something adorning his body whether its lingerie, a maid outfit, or rope that's tied so tightly on him

— if he's feeling like teasing you even more, he'll send whimpering audios that beg you to come home and fuck him and if you listen close enough, you'll hear some wet noises that let you know that he's masturbating

"f-fuck, [name] come back s-soon, please? i-i miss you so much! i- ah! i-im wearing your favorite outfit right now! i'll be a g-good ngh boy waiting for you ♡"

— itll end up with you rushing home after you're finished to fuck him dumb in that outfit, making it stained with his tears and cum

— he knows you can't really get him pregnant but your yandere just loves those straps with cum in them that you can just shoot inside him whenever you're fucking him fast and rough

— that'll make his eyes roll back and head throw backwards as he lets out such a loud mewl at the feeling of your fake cum filling him up

— and afterwards he'll tease you by using his fingers to push the cum thats gushing out of his hole back in before licking his fingers

— although your yandere is a good boy for you most of the time, theres times where he's a brat

— he'll talk back to you whenever you command him to do something or cum without permission

— but just some long edging or overstimulation will break him and turn him into a sobbing mess

— tying his hands to the headboard and keeping his legs spread apart whilst a vibrator is inside him on the highest setting is his favorite punishment

— your yandere thinks you don't know that since you do it all the time but you actually do know it, you just love the way his face is stained with his drool and tears while his chest and the sheets underneath him is covered in his cum afterwards

— such a slut but we love him for it

ty for reading to the end! ❤ - chaepink

╰┈➤ masterlist | rules

[mangostarjam]

you've been touching him a lot since he got back.

itoshi sae doesn't do anything about it — doesn't dissuade you from tugging at his sleeve or sliding his jacket zipper back and forth while you talk. doesn't comment or bring your attention to it.

but he watches.

you've been around him a lot since his plane landed, making up for all the time he's spent abroad, as if your daily chat threads haven't been enough. most of the time it's just the two of you, the way it used to be. sometimes his brother is around, though thankfully it doesn't seem like you've gotten any closer to rin since sae left.

other times there's a group, mostly your friends, a mix of guys and girls who don't seem to know what to do with themselves around him. sae is used to this — fame brings strange things to light — but you treat him as you always have, except for the touching.

you don't touch anyone else.

it makes him think.

sae has his reasons. he's never let your relationship get past that line, drawn in the sand. he's a professional football player on the other side of the world, and you have a life here. you have friends (even though you still call him your best friend), you have a job (that you complain about all the time), you have family (that can't be bothered to ever congratulate you on anything).

it wouldn't be right — to make you leave. to take you away. not when he needs to focus on being the best in the world.

(he is the best in the world. all those years ago he showed the U-20 team in japan the difference between them, the way the most they could hope for was dating a gravure model. sae never cared about that aspect. he already had you.)

he lets you touch him, but he doesn't touch you back. he keeps you at arm's length — where you're safe.

and then you ask him to be your wingman.

someone else — touching you? kissing you? having you? unthinkable. sae steps out of the shower and barely dries off before pulling on his briefs and pants. steps into his room and there you are, sitting on his bed, looking good, if a little sad.

he considers telling you to get your passport updated and catches the way your eyes trail down his form. maybe this conversation would be easier if he's wearing a shirt — your gaze is too heated, too distracting. you probably think you're being sneaky, hiding your feelings as best as you can, but sae knows you.

and your casual touches are ocean waves washing that line in the sand away.

sae walks towards his closet when it happens again. your finger in his belt loop, stopping him in his tracks. "what?"

"you were ignoring me," you say. "i asked if my outfit is okay."

your outfit is more than okay. "i would have told you to change if it wasn't."

"if you're going to be my wingman, shouldn't you hype me up?" you huff.

sae feels his jaw clench at the reminder. "no," he says, and his tone comes out cold. you don't seem to notice, falling back on his bed and testing every bit of self control in his grasp. "this is a waste of time."

he goes to pull on a shirt before he does something drastic. you're saying something, but it hardly matters when his flight leaves if you'll be on the plane with him. you've covered your eyes with your forearm, so you miss the way he pauses at the foot of the bed, teal eyes drinking in your form splayed out so defenselessly.

sae climbs over you silently, knees nudging yours apart, hands planted on either side of your body. "this is a waste of time," he repeats, watching with amusement as you take in his position. a blush sweeps across your face, but you don't push him off. that's a good sign, at least.

"what, you think i'm not worth being a wingman for?" you ask. silly. you have no idea.

and then you reach for his belt loops again, as if that's a totally normal thing to do and not something that drives him a little nuts every time. sae prides himself on his control, though, so he doesn't lean down to kiss you just yet.

"tell me," sae says, "have you become this touchy with all your friends since i've been gone?"

"n-no?"

it's cute, how wide your eyes get. sae leans down a little closer. feels your breaths on his lips. still doesn't kiss you — yet. "then i won't be your wingman. you don't need one."

"why not?"

do you know how breathless you sound? sae considers his apartment in spain, how he'll need to make sure the bedroom doesn't share any walls with the neighbors. the way you sound is all for him and him alone.

"because you have a boyfriend, now."

(companion piece to this)