#i think i'm funny

[mexican-texican]

Princess Peach™️: Showtime!

Manuel Amado (1938-2019)—That's the Princess [oil on canvas, 2004]

[itonlyhastobetruetoday]

The Outsiders as shit my friends said

"i'm very intimate with the guitar" -soda

"he's here to work and learn"-darry "nah he's here to get worked"-two-bit

"lift my fat ass"-steve

"do you think Jesus had a secret handshake with his disciples?"- pony

"at least he's gotta be trained to be a pervert" -johnny

"that was the day darry curtis found out I had an ass"- dallas

"can i play with his feet?" -pony

"part the caucasian sea" -ace

"watch out, he's literate" -cherry about chet

"I no longer lick plates" -melvin

"i'm a hoe for potato salad" -soda

"come to find out, that's a felony" -two-bit

"all testosterone people sound the same" -beverly

"submissive AND breedable, like steve" -pony

"anyway so darry and semen" (about paul) -two-bit

"I have feelings but only one pair of underwear!" -johnny, probably

"if prostitutes are nice i can imagine strippers are nice" -sergei

"I don't trust him that's why i wanna make out with him." -cherry

"darry is father, darry is daddy." -two-bit

"women respecting women"-marcia "shut the FUCK up"-bev

"i'm too blond that this particular moment"-soda

"*whispered* you fucking narc" -steve

"I have a lot of time to be young, hot, and in control of everybody." -brillbev

"I'm a rich and powerful asshole, i think i win." -paul

"darry looks so breedable right now." -two-bit

"attention all: trip just said our blenders could have a threesome." -marcia

"it's ok, you only need one arm for a handjob." -ace

"God didn't make me to iron boobs" -darry

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

One of my favorite D&D gags that I ever came up with is part of a oneshot I've run a few times where the party is hired by a young wizard to help clear out a few active security measures in a tower that the wizard inherited from her old teacher.

The first obstacle to be cleared is the re-animated skeletons that the old wizard was using for gardening help. It's a pretty straightforward fight, but during the encounter, players may notice one particular raised bed of herbs that is set back in a corner of the garden by itself.

Upon further investigation, this one raised bed is absolutely shining with magical protections. There are runes carved into the wood of the bed, gemstones inlaid in the top of it, this bed is absolutely protected out the ass... and an arcana check shows that the protections are all pointed inward, attempting to keep what's in there from getting out.

What's growing in that raised bed, you may ask? What is so dangerous that the old wizard felt the need to place all these protections?

Mint.

[euniexenoblade]

YOU know him as the human pet guy, I know him as the "modern militaries need medieval armor cuz they reflect bullets" guy. We are NOT the same.

[thedenofravenpuff]

@theinfamousdoctorf

Firefly at Earth

[3bagshotrow]

going to make one of those "WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FOR THE **FIRST TIME**" videos on youtube but say things like "wow boromir looks especially rugged in these mountain scenes, almost like the actor actually hiked to the filming location instead of taking a helicopter" and "wouldn't it be funny if all those soldiers from rohan were women in fake beards" and "his scream sounded really genuine there, I wonder if he broke any of his toes"

[leavemebetosleep]

Damn I Love Fluttershy

[realitysperception]

Hope you don't mind me just.....

(It was too good to pass up. Air Raid is such a cutie)

Headcanon for @ugly-bug-starscream and @edd-drawsyo’s Transformers One AU!!! AirRaid potentially being in the final battle is such a great concept to chew on but I wondered how exactly he might hold his own considering he’s, well… a kid. I think he’d be really good at sports so I think he’d just cave soldiers heads in like a football.

And he could use the thrusters on his feet to power his kicks! Little soccer bot over here about to hit a home run. Idk, I don’t play sports.

[authormars]

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

[lt-oreilly]

idea that's been floating around in my head for weeks (TRANSGENDOR)

[austinramsaygames]

[mxxnpills]

please laugh

[carrottheluvmachine]

Geralt: Why don't you ever look any older? Jaskier: I don't like to age. Geralt: What? Jaskier: I don't like to age, so I don't do it. Geralt, now highly suspecting that Jaskier may be much more than a normal human: ...

[aaayyygender]

Running with the burrito I just got (stole) from Chipotle while a HATER cop tries to catch me:

[percythejedi]

This is all I have to contribute

[thevoidstaredback]

Nightwing: "We'll have to talk to Agent A, but it shouldn't be a problem."

Flash: "'Agent A'? Who's that? And why do you need to ask their permission? Batman's right here."

Nightwing: "You don't actually think Batman's in charge, do you?"

Flash: "What?"

Nightwing: "We can get away with upsetting B, but we'd all rather die than upset A. It's why their names like that, by the way. A's in charge, B's just the public figure."

Batman: "That's not true and you know it,"

Nightwing: "You gonna look me in the eye and say that?"

Batman: "..."

Nightwing: "That's what I thought."