#i think i'm funny

[thecourtofteeth]

it's the same picture

No one can ever tell me these aren't the same characters

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

One of my favorite D&D gags that I ever came up with is part of a oneshot I've run a few times where the party is hired by a young wizard to help clear out a few active security measures in a tower that the wizard inherited from her old teacher.

The first obstacle to be cleared is the re-animated skeletons that the old wizard was using for gardening help. It's a pretty straightforward fight, but during the encounter, players may notice one particular raised bed of herbs that is set back in a corner of the garden by itself.

Upon further investigation, this one raised bed is absolutely shining with magical protections. There are runes carved into the wood of the bed, gemstones inlaid in the top of it, this bed is absolutely protected out the ass... and an arcana check shows that the protections are all pointed inward, attempting to keep what's in there from getting out.

What's growing in that raised bed, you may ask? What is so dangerous that the old wizard felt the need to place all these protections?

Mint.

[3bagshotrow]

going to make one of those "WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FOR THE **FIRST TIME**" videos on youtube but say things like "wow boromir looks especially rugged in these mountain scenes, almost like the actor actually hiked to the filming location instead of taking a helicopter" and "wouldn't it be funny if all those soldiers from rohan were women in fake beards" and "his scream sounded really genuine there, I wonder if he broke any of his toes"

[austinramsaygames]

[leavemebetosleep]

Damn I Love Fluttershy

[authormars]

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

[lt-oreilly]

idea that's been floating around in my head for weeks (TRANSGENDOR)

[mxxnpills]

please laugh

[carrottheluvmachine]

Geralt: Why don't you ever look any older? Jaskier: I don't like to age. Geralt: What? Jaskier: I don't like to age, so I don't do it. Geralt, now highly suspecting that Jaskier may be much more than a normal human: ...

[aaayyygender]

Running with the burrito I just got (stole) from Chipotle while a HATER cop tries to catch me:

[percythejedi]

This is all I have to contribute

[thevoidstaredback]

Nightwing: "We'll have to talk to Agent A, but it shouldn't be a problem."

Flash: "'Agent A'? Who's that? And why do you need to ask their permission? Batman's right here."

Nightwing: "You don't actually think Batman's in charge, do you?"

Flash: "What?"

Nightwing: "We can get away with upsetting B, but we'd all rather die than upset A. It's why their names like that, by the way. A's in charge, B's just the public figure."

Batman: "That's not true and you know it,"

Nightwing: "You gonna look me in the eye and say that?"

Batman: "..."

Nightwing: "That's what I thought."

[winter--padfoot]

Harding: So the Crows don't work in Ferelden anymore because of Loghain? Why, exactly?

Lucanis: House Arainai embarrassed themselves so badly on that job, the Crows buried six different Eighth Talons.

Harding: You're... you're saying they actually die of embarrassment.

Lucanis: Some of them weren't dead at the time. But they got it eventually.

[layer-of-slayers]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer as tumblr text posts 29/?

[agenderautomaton]

[aquilacalvitium]