#i think i'm funny

[ihaveatypeanditstrickstergods]

One of my favorite D&D gags that I ever came up with is part of a oneshot I've run a few times where the party is hired by a young wizard to help clear out a few active security measures in a tower that the wizard inherited from her old teacher.

The first obstacle to be cleared is the re-animated skeletons that the old wizard was using for gardening help. It's a pretty straightforward fight, but during the encounter, players may notice one particular raised bed of herbs that is set back in a corner of the garden by itself.

Upon further investigation, this one raised bed is absolutely shining with magical protections. There are runes carved into the wood of the bed, gemstones inlaid in the top of it, this bed is absolutely protected out the ass... and an arcana check shows that the protections are all pointed inward, attempting to keep what's in there from getting out.

What's growing in that raised bed, you may ask? What is so dangerous that the old wizard felt the need to place all these protections?

Mint.

[euniexenoblade]

YOU know him as the human pet guy, I know him as the "modern militaries need medieval armor cuz they reflect bullets" guy. We are NOT the same.

[3bagshotrow]

going to make one of those "WATCHING LORD OF THE RINGS FOR THE **FIRST TIME**" videos on youtube but say things like "wow boromir looks especially rugged in these mountain scenes, almost like the actor actually hiked to the filming location instead of taking a helicopter" and "wouldn't it be funny if all those soldiers from rohan were women in fake beards" and "his scream sounded really genuine there, I wonder if he broke any of his toes"

[nadinescholtes]

Aww poor babies! This is great, thank you! 🥰

Since we have seen people like Moon and Monty get drunk on the show I am curious. What would Laia be like drunk? I can kinda see her as a cuddly or giggly drunk given her personality.

She actually can’t get drunk because her body doesn’t work like that. She can’t absorb nutrients or poison. Like in the comic where she ate the daycare’s candy she said they don’t have an effect on her.

The only thing that could make her “drunk“ is a virus or very low on battery. And I guess she would be more cuddly than usual but also emotional, like she would cry about how cute the cats are.

[leavemebetosleep]

Damn I Love Fluttershy

[authormars]

MC: How do angels reproduce?

Simeon: Well, it's a very complicated process and the Father-

Lucifer: Mitosis

MC:

Simeon:

Lucifer, pointing to Satan: Mitosis

[aaayyygender]

Running with the burrito I just got (stole) from Chipotle while a HATER cop tries to catch me:

[percythejedi]

This is all I have to contribute

[thevoidstaredback]

Nightwing: "We'll have to talk to Agent A, but it shouldn't be a problem."

Flash: "'Agent A'? Who's that? And why do you need to ask their permission? Batman's right here."

Nightwing: "You don't actually think Batman's in charge, do you?"

Flash: "What?"

Nightwing: "We can get away with upsetting B, but we'd all rather die than upset A. It's why their names like that, by the way. A's in charge, B's just the public figure."

Batman: "That's not true and you know it,"

Nightwing: "You gonna look me in the eye and say that?"

Batman: "..."

Nightwing: "That's what I thought."

[agenderautomaton]

[mxxnpills]

please laugh

[carrottheluvmachine]

Geralt: Why don't you ever look any older? Jaskier: I don't like to age. Geralt: What? Jaskier: I don't like to age, so I don't do it. Geralt, now highly suspecting that Jaskier may be much more than a normal human: ...

[sluttyhenley]

I set him loose on purpose

insp

[layer-of-slayers]

Buffy the Vampire Slayer as tumblr text posts 28/?

[thedenofravenpuff]

Finally had enough of this little guy's stink and decided it was time to try scrub some of that gunk off.

He does NOT like the sink, whatsoever!

Had to burrito him.

Couldn't do much with the gunk, so he's still pretty messy and lost all what little trust I built with him.

*sigh*

I know what I signed up for, adopting one of these without the usual companion counterpart.

[jasondeansgothwife]

they should put this at the beginning of scream (1996)