#i think he would and then aziraphale would be either very confused

[clownhonkbonk]

so question.

if aziraphale fell / wasn't an angel anymore ( by choice or force . ) would crowley still call him angel? even just as a slip up

gimme opinions

[im-the-j-in-anthony-j-crowley]

Okay, here me out, i can't stop thinking about demons and the fact that many of them can't spell

Crowley says that spelling is not their strong point, and we see this exemplified especially in Shax and Furfur, but now recently it occurred to me to look up how to pronounce food in Italian. Remember Hastur? If you look it up, you'll notice it's cibo, and if you listen to the pronunciation, you'll notice it's VERY similar to the pronunciation of ciao (what Crowley says in that scene, remember?).

Learning this is what gives me a start for what I had been thinking for quite some time, because at the beginning I thought that the spelling thing was something for only the lower level demons, after all, Shax and Furfur have leveled up, but initially they were at the bottom. But not Hastur, Hastur is a duke of hell.

And the confusion between cibo and ciao proves that he must likewise have some kind of problem with language comprehension.

Also, I want to add, I'm not entirely sure if this is a good point, because I may be influenced by the fact that I'm not a native speaker, but Dagon's motivational speech doesn't directly reflect poor language use, but I get a sense that it doesn't reflect great command of it either

And then we go to Crowley, I assume we all think at first glance that Crowley has no problem with language, right? But let me remind you of something: Crowley hates books.

Yes, he has books. But the one book we see, has pictures, lots of pictures. An illustrated astronomy book. In addition to this, Crowley demonstrates a strong dislike of books. Contempt. Hatred. Yes, we've seen him write things. Yes, they are well written. But it doesn't seem to be something he enjoys

With all of this information, I'm going to reach the conclusion that ALL demons have a problem with language, especially written language. Even despite the fact that they are able to speak every existing language.

And I feel that this is a curious detail, because taking into account the powers they have, one would think that they could compensate those difficulties by miracles, right?

They don't. They still have those errors, and you could say it's because none of them have thought of it but... Really? None of them have thought of it? In 6000 years? I don't believe it.

So it must be something intrinsic, there's something they can't change that makes it difficult for them to write/spell.

And we could even go further, because one of the things I find curious, is the fact that Shax has problems with sarcasm. A demon, problems with sarcasm. No one in 6000 years spoke sarcastically to Shax?

I don't have enough arguments to add this as a collective demon problem, since Shax is (I think) the only one we've seen with that problem, but it's something close enough to mention.

Mixing all this up, I should mention the big elephant in the room: Demons have written records of who enters hell

We've already established that the difficulties with language go as far as the dukes, and I feel it's not jumping too far if we say that Beelzebub and Satan possibly shouldn't be spared.

So, who are these reports for? It's not like they're going to read them, I know that's hell, but why would they force themselves to go through that torture?

The only thing that makes sense is that those reports are for someone external, and there are only two options: heaven, or directly God.

And both options seem pretty cruel to me, because we know one thing: angels can read.

Aziraphale can, Muriel can, Gabriel can, we don't have any example of an angel who can't read. Crowley had a book before he fell. So we can assume that demons could read.

They could, and the fact that now they can't makes me see only one possible explanation: Falling caused them those problems.

And I feel that if we mix my two conclusions, the ending is something very ugly. Demons have problems with language, especially written language. Those problems started when they were expelled from heaven. They make written records that are possibly presented to those who turned them into demons.

Basically it is a very strong level of cruelty.

Please recognize the demon's rights. They still deserve to have rights

[theonevoice]

Maggie's spelling mistake

Ok, I've just had a wild thought about this moment, that led many people to theorise that Maggie could be a demon in disguise, given that 1) everything is intentional in this show, so the accent on the "ugrency" detail cannot be meaningless, and 2) demons are repeatedly characterised, of all things, as being bad at spelling.

To be honest, I cannot bring myself to believe the "Maggie is a demon" theory, but I agree that the emphasis on her spelling mistake is weird and it very much looks like a hint.

And now I think I finally have a hypothesis that I like (not because it's plausible but because I find it funny) about what it could be hinting at.

Let me list a couple of premises first:

- we know that when Aziraphale and Crowley "do a miracle together" it ends up "working a little too well"

- we have evidence of animals brought back from death (the dove) and of people brought back from Hell (Mr Brown)

- we have the Nina Sosanya and Maggie Service recasting choice, that I was obviously very happy with but never really understood

So, when in s1 Aziraphale and Crowley meet Mary Hodges, former Sister Mary Loquacious, we see Crowley initiating the hypnosis miracle and Aziraphale "stepping in" and ending it.

He is not just reversing it, he is working within the perimeter of the "miraculous window" opened by Crowley and weaving in an instruction before closing it:

So here's the wild part: what if, upon meeting Crowley after eleven years, Mary Hodges, now successful business owner, was taken back to that fatal night of the Antichrist and her dream of "whatever you like best" got mixed with shreds of memories? What if the satanic order who clearly didn't appreciate her turned into an abusive partner who "never really liked her"? What if the assignment to go fetch some bisquits from the refectory turned into the idea of having a nice little coffeeshop full of sweets and cakes? What if the contact with "His Royal Excellency the American ambassador" caused said coffeeshop to be right in front of a certain bookshop that happens to be an Embassy to Heaven? What if Sister Theresa Garrulous, the only person who that night had showed Mary some validation (although only for a happy miscommunication incident), turned into a neighbour shopkeeper with a strong bond to her mother superior great-grandmother, who keeps coming back to her coffeeshop, over and over, to grab the superfluous child a cup of coffee and have a little friendly chat?

The unknown and unforeseen power of a miracle performed by both Aziraphale and Crowley, although not intentionally and only as a result of a partial overlap of miraculous actions, could have make Mary's dream actually and literally come true. So we are not seeing a funny casting choice, but two actual characters from s1 transformed by the accidental interference of an overflowing miracle and Mary's confused memory-dream cocktail.

But if Maggie was indeed Sister Theresa...

...that would mean that the miracle did not just magically get Mary/Nina a coffeeshop in Soho, it also brought back Theresa/Maggie from Hell. So her "ugrency" spelling mistake could be there not as a sign that she is a demon herself, but as the trace of a sort of demonic contamination, a bad-grammar-contagion either from her time as a satanic nun or from her eleven years in Hell after Hastur killed her.

And if this was the case, wouldn't it be convenient that the only person who can corroborate her family history is none other than Mr Fell, the one unknowingly involved in her comeback, possibly not even knowing himself that there never was any great-grandmother selling records in the corner of his bookshop in the Twenties?

So this:

this could literally be Mary's dream come true, where miss Hodges' entrepreneurial side was fused with scraps of Sister Mary's memories from the night of the Antichrist.

Of course, this could be just Neil Gaiman jokingly referring to Maggies Service's previous role as a satanic nun with demonic acquaintances, but where's the fun in choosing that interpretation when we can run wild with outrageous theories like this?

Also, I like to imagine Mr Brown inexplicably starting to make spelling mistakes all over his impeccable tax returns after his trip to Hell...

[ingravinoveritas]

So what ur thoughts on the bafias nominations David been nomination for best comedy actor while Michael hasn't been nominated for anything and the fan on twitter can't understand why now I personally think after Al aggressive behaviour on a post when they got his name wrong on his favourite radio station and how her stories on ig recently just werid behaviour do u think Al may had sabotaged his chances of getting a nomination for anything

What ur thoughts

Hi there! So I am once again on the road and attending a conference in Las Vegas that just wrapped up, and now I finally have a chance to comment on today's exciting news.

I'm sure everyone has seen by now, but congrats to our lovely David on his first (main) BAFTA nom for Male Performance in a Comedy!

It seems almost surreal that David has never been nominated for a (main) BAFTA before now, and given the breadth of his other recent TV performances (Des, Litvinenko) nominating him for Good Omens season 2 is certainly a choice...especially in the absence of a nomination for Michael. Looking at the list of nominations, it appears that Best Interests was nominated for Limited Drama, as was Sharon Horgan for Leading Actress...but no nomination for Michael for Leading Actor, either. So very quickly, this starts to look like a visible and intentional snub.

In terms of why Michael would be snubbed, I think there are a few possible reasons, but none of them have anything to do with AL. Readers of my blog know that I am never hesitant to call Anna out when it is merited, but in all likelihood the BAFTA nominations were decided long before now, and in my opinion she would not have any influence on whether Michael is nominated regardless of when her social media posts were made. So it does not make sense to place blame on her in this instance.

My feeling is that the reasons for Michael's lack of a nomination (and really, David's nomination specifically for GO) are likely twofold. One is that I'm guessing Amazon/whoever submitted David for consideration didn't want to pit Michael and David against each other. If they were both competing in the same category, it could split the votes, so only nominating one of them seems the best way of avoiding that. The second reason (again, in my opinion) seems to be political.

I was surprised to recently learn that Prince William is the president of BAFTA--British followers, help me out here, because this is very, very weird to a confused American--and as we know, Michael has spoken out on a number of hot button issues over the last few months: Opening a conversation about Welsh independence. The question of the devolution of the crown estate to Wales. And of course, abolishing the title of Prince of Wales. Not to mention all of the backlash incurred by the release of The Way, which was roundly savaged in the press and accused of promoting anti-English sentiments.

Granted, there have been politically active nominees and winners at the BAFTAs in the past, but it really feels like the combination of all these things is somehow working against Michael. Let's also not forget this epic picture from the BAFTA film awards last month, with Michael giving Wills the side-eyest of Welsh side-eyes:

All this said, it is difficult (if not impossible) to think of Michael and David's performances in GO as separate things, because they are so inextricably intertwined. The reason that we got David's incredible performance as Crowley is because Michael was there as Aziraphale, and vice-versa. I think David and Michael themselves would be the first ones to say it, as well as to be in awe and so supportive of each other's acting. The response of fans to this nomination news--saying Michael is a better actor, Michael deserved to be nominated instead, etc.--is so perplexing to me, because I think he was probably the first one in line to congratulate David, and would chew out anybody who put down David's acting for any reason.

I also think that if the lack of a nomination is due to the above-mentioned political reasons, then Michael is probably wearing it like a fucking badge of honor. I think he is also happier for David than anyone else on the planet right now (because that's his boyfriend, damn it), and I truly hope the stars align and give us Michael presenting David with an award again like at the NTAs in 2021. (Michael subsequently carrying David off the stage bridal style would be the cherry on top of the already extremely homoerotic cake.)

I also feel that there is no question David is as taken aback by his nomination/Michael's lack of a nomination for GO as much as the rest of us are. While I have no idea what David's chances of winning truly are, I think he would wholeheartedly and enthusiastically share that award with Michael. And I think he will share that night with Michael no matter what, regardless of what happens on the broadcast.

So many possibilities come to mind, really. I can imagine David and Michael re-enacting Every (without the heartbreaking bits, of course) on stage. I've seen people making references to the infamous Slow Show fic/how it parallels to real life, and while I've only read part of it (haven't gotten to finish), the thought of any kiss between Michael and David is beyond gorgeous to contemplate. Not for the sake of "content" or as a joke, of course (because I don't think they would be willing to kiss as a joke, because if they were, they would've done it by now), but because we would see a facet to Michael and David's relationship that's always been there in private become public. And it would be their choice to share it with us.

Those are my reactions to the BAFTAs announcement today. I'd love to hear from my followers as well with your thoughts and comments. Thanks for writing in! x

[crowleysgirl56]

Wildest dreams wishes for Good Omens Season 3 which will probably not come true but I can still hope hey!

Number 17.

Sex! That’s right we’re going there. Because my latest random post got a lot of differing opinions (which was really just for shits and giggles. Nothing I say should be taken seriously 😜) I thought I’d address what my actual prediction and also wildest hope for season 3 is.

I think what we will get is an implied sex scene. For a number of reasons.

1. The tone of the show is not explicit. Even though you can definitely point to other Amazon Prime shows that will go there (exhibit A: American Gods), I don’t think we would get that for Good Omens.

2. It’s a comedy. So if anything we would get something that is almost silly. Probably to parallel the ridiculous and funny sex scene between Anathema and Newt in season 1 (think of them under the bed popping in and out of frame as papers fly everywhere). I don’t think the S3 scene would be specifically played for laughs, because this is the type of show that is very respectful of a same sex relationship. We’ve had way too many horrible experiences for decades of television programs playing up “men having sex = stupid/silly/funny/not serious/etc”. Neil would not let something like this happen (Exhibit B: American Gods, again). So I would suggest the situation leading up to the act would probably be ridiculous or something we can laugh at, but the act itself would not.

3. Neil reblogged a post a few months ago and annoyingly I can’t find it. But it had something to do with same sex coupling in media and how important it is, and he basically said something along the lines of “I don’t write these kinds of scenes but now I wish I did”. I think he was possible responding to someone saying “Neil wouldn’t do something like that”. That’s a pretty interesting thought and a very pointed comment to make at a time when he had either just started writing season 3, or right before it. Or at least that’s when I saw the post. This is Tumblr so for all I know it could have been posted 2 years ago (seriously, how does Tumblr work? I’ve only been here 6 months!).

So what do I think will ACTUALLY happen? I think we’ll get Crowley and Aziraphale passionately kiss, get to Aziraphale’s bedroom and then fall onto the bed out of shot. If we’re lucky we might get close up shots of hands intertwining, more kissing, some removal of clothing perhaps. Then the scene would shift outside to Whickber street. People will probably noticing a trembling in the ground. Maybe in Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death we see tea and coffee cups rattling on the table and Nina looking confused and concerned. Then a brilliant white light pours out of the upper floor window of the book shop. Cut back to Aziraphale and Crowley holding each other and panting, but it’s a tasteful shoulders up shot.

Subtle, implied, still pretty hot.

So in the mean time, if you want something explicit, to AO3 my fellow Smutgoblins!

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P4 - London (1941) and Soho (1967)

So, was anybody actually fooled into thinking that our angel was really working for the Nazis in this scene? It was a little confusing at first I’ll grant you, but the moment we see him giving away books, particularly first editions, and especially first editions of books of prophecy, that should have given the game away to all and sundry. I do love how much Aziraphale is enjoying himself in this scene though, like it’s all just a big, exciting game that he’s winning at.

His use of the phrase “our side” is interesting to me, particularly if we take into account the conversation he has with Crowley about sides at the end of this episode. But I’m getting ahead of myself. In truth, I’m not sure whether he uses the phrase as part of his own Heavenly cover story or because he really does believe that his “side” is now with the Allies in the war. If it’s the latter, it would suggest that his allegiances sit more squarely with humanity in deference to Heaven at this point. That said, he very quickly switches to it being “your people” when he realises he has no control over the situation. I’d just like to take a moment to appreciate the extreme reaction we see on Aziraphale’s face at that point – it actually feels like it’s over-reacted to the point of falsity, but it’s clear from the following dialogue he was not aware he was being double crossed. I can’t help but laugh every time I watch this little clip:

Ah, what a surprise! Crowley has arrived to save Aziraphale at exactly the right time, despite not having seen or spoken to each other since their disagreement over the holy water in 1862 (as confirmed in the Script Book). It’s like he somehow knew exactly where the angel was and that he was getting himself into trouble… Not only that, he’s putting himself through some severe discomfort to come and save the day. (Side note: anybody else find the image of Crowley walking on a hot beach in bare feet extremely amusing?) Aziraphale genuinely appears surprised to see him, so as with Paris I don’t think he knew the demon was within his proximity - although there is a look of recognition on his face as he realises who it is walking down the aisle towards him (and what a cute image that is), his first question is to demand to know why he’s there.

Crowley is more than happy to declare that the ONLY reason he’s in that church is to stop the angel getting into trouble. No excuses, no stuttering, just a flat-out statement – I am here for you. I’d really like to think that we might get a bit of backstory about how Crowley is always in the right place at the right time for Aziraphale in season 3 – it’s just one of those little bits of canon I’d like to have more detail about (I know, I know: “what and see”).

I have to hand it to Crowley in this scene – he still has the dignity to be insulted at the suggestion that the Nazis are working for him even, not lose his temper that the suggestion has been hurled (rather thoughtlessly) at him by his only friend, and reiterate that his reason for being there is for Aziraphale, all whilst trying to preserve the skin on his feet. Having seen how quickly the demon can lose his patience (and temper), this feels like it would have taken quite an effort to achieve.

We find out two things from Glozier here: first, that Crowley is “famous”, presumably amongst the Nazis, though we don’t find out what he’s famous for. Whatever it is, it’s not so impressive that they’re not prepared to kill him. Second, that he has changed his name again – retaining the “Crowley” as a last name, implementing a first name (Anthony) and a middle initial (J). I’m sure I’m not the only one that enjoys the lovely bit of small talk that goes on between them both as Crowley hops around, as if discussing this bit of news were the only thing on either of their minds. I also love that the demon seems genuinely invested in whether Aziraphale likes his choice or not, and Aziraphale’s response that he’ll “get used to it” says so much about how he feels about their relationship at this point. He actually doesn’t look particularly impressed with the new name, and perhaps it’s telling that we never hear Aziraphale refer to him as Anthony (even though he did adapt the new name when it was changed from Crawly).

Crowley’s realisation that there’s a whole font of holy water, completely unguarded, serves as a poignant reminder of the previous scene, despite the fact that he’s still hopping around in a now vaguely irritating way. It makes me wonder if this is where he gets the idea that he can get hold of his “insurance” without Aziraphale’s help by robbing a church (as will be seen in 1967).

We’re back in the land of hidden communications in this next exchange:

This feels like the angel and demon partnership that we have, so quickly, come to love. Teamwork, understanding, and a little bit of sacrifice to achieve a common goal, without the need for explicit declarations of intent. It’s so very different from the strained conversation we saw in 1862, but this definitely feels like it’s a truer representation of their partnership.

I want to take a moment here to talk about something that feels inconsistent to me in the scene that follows the explosion. I had initially wondered about the fact that the ground no longer appears to be consecrated after the bomb has hit the church (Crowley has stopped hopping around like a madman), but having done some (very shallow) research it would appear that churches can only be considered consecrated if they are suitable for worship. Seeing as that bomb pretty much obliterates the building, I think we can probably declare the ground now deconsecrated. My brain however is focussed on that font of holy water. When the church was blown up, that font, including its contents, would have gone everywhere. And I mean, everywhere. There’s no way that Crowley was getting through that explosion without some of it getting on him, or something that he touches (like the book bag he’s about to tear out of a dead Nazi’s hand). I have supposed that there is a possibility that it would have evaporated in the heat, but I’m not sure that fixes the problem – water evaporated becomes steam and Crowley would likely have inhaled some of it. So we’re left with two possibilities here – either Aziraphale did something that would cover these eventualities in his own miracle or Crowley actually can come into contact with holy water. Not that he’d ever be able to test the latter theory of course, it’s a pretty deadly experiment for a demon to be carrying out. I think the former of the two possibilities is probably the right answer, even then it seems like a bit of a stretch – what exactly did Aziraphale’s miracle do?

Moving on, we have another instance of Aziraphale calling Crowley a name that the demon would not wish to have as a label – “kind”. And as with Paris, the reaction is a very different one from what we see from him at Tadfield Manor, this time simply attempting to brush it off but this time the exchange happens without his glasses.

Not only that, there’s a little smirk on Crowley face suggests he’s actually rather pleased with the outcome of his actions.

Aziraphale seems very humbled by Crowley’s intervention here too, which is not something we’re used to seeing from him. I suspect he knows that he was in genuine danger during the meeting with the Nazis and is well aware of what a huge favour he’s just been afforded. And I’m sure he’s probably thinking about how badly things ended between them the last time they met. He also knows that thanks and appreciation are not something that Crowley does, so tries to make light out of it pointing out the most trivial of the consequences that this act of kindness has granted him – the paperwork.

But Crowley’s not done with his gifts, is he? If we set aside the question hovering around how he even knew there were any of Aziraphale’s prized books to be rescued in the first place (no seriously, how does he know? Maybe he saw them on the table before Harmony bundles them into the bag in the church, but he doesn’t seem to be paying that much attention), there’s no doubt that this is probably the most thoughtful gift someone could ever give the angel. And Crowley knows it very well – the relish on his face when he knows he’s about to deliver something that will give Aziraphale so much joy is absolutely previous.

And here we are. You all know what’s coming. In fact, there has so much coverage been done of the rest of this scene, that I’m not even going to bother talking about it.

What kind of fan would I be if I didn’t gush about the finger touch and Aziraphale’s look?! I’m going to try not to spend too much time on it though, purely because it really has been talked about by every single person before me, and will continue to be discussed by many.

So, the things I love about this are everything the fact that neither of them flinches when their fingers touch (this despite us not having seem them physically touch in any of the previous historical scenes); that they establish and maintain eye contact for the touch; and (last, but most definitely not least) that Crowley actually lifts his thumb to stroke Aziraphale’s finger when their digits meet. Seriously, that last one really gets me – it says so much about his knowledge of his feelings and his intent with the saving of the books. In all honesty, I watched that GIF about 10 times before moved on with the rest of this write-up, this tiny moment genuinely makes my heart sing. I also happen to love the extreme nonchalance of Crowley asking Aziraphale if he wants a lift home, as if none of the previous 5 minutes has just happened. Side note: this will be the first time that Aziraphale will meet the Bentley. He likely doesn’t even know that Crowley has a car, so being asked if he wants a “lift home” will be a first in their 6000 years of friendship.

And then of course, there’s Aziraphale’s look as Crowley leaves the scene.

He’s so adorable isn’t he? Only finally realising how important he is to Crowley, and that the feeling is mutual, after he’s been handed a bag of old books prised from the hands of a dead Nazi. Silly angel.

So the first thing I’ll point out about this scene involves a bit of gazing into the future (as far as the series was concerned anyway) – the pub that Crowley meets his cronies in is the Dirty Donkey. Which means he was conducting this meeting directly across the road from Aziraphale’s book shop. And has probably been hanging around in the general area of Aziraphale’s book shop. Like, a lot. It’s never talked about (or not yet anyway) so we have no idea of how frequently Crowley is in the area or why he picks this particular pub to conduct his criminal activities from, but it’s certainly worth noting.

Let’s give David Arnold another tip of the hat for his treatment of the theme tune for scene setting. This time we hear it in the stripped back tones of a 60s guitar sound, not so dissimilar to Buddy Holly’s style (apologies, that’s another bit of future gazing, unless you’ve read the Script Book, in which case you’ll know that Buddy Holly should have featured very prominently throughout season 1). Holly actually died in ’59, but that doesn’t stop this piece of soundtrack doing what this soundtrack always does so beautifully – enhance the setting of a scene.

I also quite enjoy the fact that the format of this scene appears to mirror the one from 1941 – opening with just one of our heroes, who appears to be getting themselves into potential danger, with the other coming to rescue them. There’s also a symmetry in the giving of gifts – Aziraphale’s presentation of the holy water mirroring Crowley’s saving of the books. It’s a lovely way to communicate to the audience that we are meant to view them as equals, and that they balance each other out (just as Crowley says way back in the Kingdom of Wessex).

We shouldn’t be surprised that Crowley refuses to tell his “employees” what exactly it is they’re going into the church for – I should think they would consider there to be something highly suspicious about breaking into a church to steal holy water after all. And I would dearly love to know what it was that Shadwell spent time in prison for, I mean I know he’s a distinct oddbod, but criminal? I wouldn’t say he had it in him. And for the record, £300 (the amount being paid to each criminal to do this job) equates to about £5.5K in today’s money. Not a bad little earner.

Let’s talk geography for a moment, shall we? Specifically, I’m talking about the alleyway that Shadwell has squirreled himself away down. Which looks suspiciously like the alleyway that runs down the side of Give Me Coffee or Give Me Death in season 2 (again with the crystal ball, I know. There is a point, I promise).

The picture doesn’t make it painfully obvious, but the ramp, steps, and barrier that you can see on the left-hand side of the alleyway are a match – 1967 on the left, season 2 present day on the right. Not only that, we get a glimpse across the street from the alleyway entrance when we see Crowley turning towards his car.

Knowing what we know about Whickber Street from season 2, the positioning of the Bentley would appear to be directly outside Aziraphale’s shop, though the shop fronts tell a different story. What would seem to confirm that Crowley has in fact parked his car directly in front of the angel’s shop is the entrance to the corner unit – again 1967 on the left, season 2 present day on the right:

Perhaps this is just “the magic of television” and the need to re-use the same set for multiple different settings for cost purposes. I’m not so sure about that, but it seems almost too obvious for Crowley to be hanging around Soho in such a blatant way if he was trying not to be seen by Aziraphale. After all, the angel has been in the Bentley in 1941, so would know what it looked like, and it’s not like they would have been a common car in 1967.

I also want to take a quick moment to consider that Shadwell is hanging around an area in London that is painfully at odds with his views on sex workers, as we see in the way he speaks to Madame Tracey later. Perhaps those views are established later in his life, maybe even as a result of his spending time in London’s Red Light District (or at least, it was in the 1960s).

If you didn’t know something was about to happen as Crowley opens the car door, you should perhaps feel a little ashamed of yourself because… it’s the magical miracle noise! We know it’s not Crowley doing it because we can see him getting into the car, so I think it’s fair to say we should be assuming it has something to do with Aziraphale before we see him on camera. What I don’t understand is why he apparates inside the car. Or possibly why he bothers to apparate at all – as he’s about to point out, he works in Soho so it would be easy enough to simply approach Crowley on the street at any time. Perhaps it’s to ensure that the demon can’t make a hasty get-away? That doesn’t make a lot of sense in the declared canon of the series at this point. However, it’s my belief (and that of most of the fandom I think) that something happened between them after the scenes we get to see of 1941. I also think Aziraphale got spooked by it and left sharpish (more of that in the 1941 apology dance fanfic when I get to it). If we take that as canon, Aziraphale’s cautionary tone and covert apparition, along with Crowley’s look of surprise and longing at Aziraphale’s appearance make a lot of sense all of a sudden.

It looks as if Aziraphale is really struggling to say what he knows he must here, and the way Crowley reacts when he realises that the angel knows exactly what he’s planning makes it pretty clear that he’s not exactly comfortable with the topic of conversation either. I actually find it painful to watch this whole conversation (and I don’t think I’m the only one, though it’s not as tough as some we’ll come to later in both seasons). From the subtle revelation of how much Crowley has taken Aziraphale’s refusal to provide him with the holy water to heart (seeing as he knows exactly how many years have passed since that disagreement), to the searching look Aziraphale gives Crowley after he hands over the thermos (almost as it he’s trying to memorise his face), and everything in between, this is the most emotionally available we’ve seen the couple being with each other. And it takes its toll on them both – Crowley is rendered speechless and Aziraphale almost in tears, breathing heavily to try and stave them off. The angel is making a personal sacrifice to ensure Crowley stays out of danger here and Crowley knows it. What really is there to say, other than “thank you”? Alas, Aziraphale draws the line there (in a vaguely symmetrical fashion to what we say in Paris, when he asks Crowley if he can say thank you for the rescue), so he has to come up with something else. It’s such a desperate little gesture too - the only thing that he can offer to show any sort of favour in return is to offer Aziraphale a lift.

There’s a little reflexive noise from Crowley in response to Aziraphale’s refusal of his offer that really does convey how disappointed he is, and for once the angel is paying attention. I suspect he tells him not to look so disappointed because he finds it very hard to deny Crowley anything when he knows he really wants something. He even offers an alternative, something with promise and future in it, something that sounds suspiciously like a date.

Perhaps one day we could… I don’t know… Go for a picnic… Dine at the Ritz…

Crowley’s not done though, he’s going to keep trying to string out this meeting as long as he can. Let’s just bear in mind that his offer to take Aziraphale anywhere he wants to go is rather a moot point – they’re in Soho, a very small area of London, which is where Aziraphale works and lives. Even if we ignore the fact that the Bentley appears to be parked within 6 feet of the door to the book shop, there really wouldn’t be any need to drive to get from one place in Soho to another place in Soho. As such, I think this offer is simply Crowley wanting to spend time with Aziraphale, and it’s something he wants so much that he almost pleads with the angel to reconsider the invitation.

Tiny side note: the bullet holes you can see in the driver side window are referenced in the book. They’re actually a sticker, tied to a James Bond film promotion. The only time Crowley has ever put fuel in the Bentley he did to get it.

Aaaaaand we’re here. At the line. You all know the one.

Hnnnnnnnnh.

The first time I watched this show, I was only half paying attention and I just thought he was talking about Crowley’s driving. It wasn’t until I rewatched prior to bingeing through season 2 that I realised he really isn’t, and I can tell you it hit me like a tonne of bricks. If we assume it’s likely they haven’t seen each other since 1941, which makes sense if we’re also assuming that something happened between them at that time, Aziraphale has only been in the Bentley once before this (well, maybe multiple times in one evening, but you get the drift). What’s to say that one experience was typical of Crowley’s driving? Decades have passed since that evening, so it’s not out of the question to consider that his driving style might have changed in that time. And why not just say “yes thank you, but do you think you drive a bit slower”? Or even for Crowley to offer to drive slower on his behalf? No, this heartbreaking line has nothing to do with the driving at all, and Crowley’s lack of resistance to it and look of resignation says he knows it but has no idea who to talk the angel down from his position. This scene ends in the Script Book with Crowly driving away and Aziraphale watching him go, but my head canon has given me a different outcome here (which fits with what we actually see in the show), which I’ll be writing a fic about in the future.

This one has run a little long (hardly surprising given that it covers the 1941 AND 1967 historical scenes). I toyed with the idea of splitting into two parts but that felt excessive, particularly given I still have to deal with, what I think, is the first of the ineffable divorces later in this episode. As always, questions, comments, discussion, all welcome!

[queer-reader-07]

i feel like all the theories that exist for why aziraphale went to heaven that basically boil down to “he was out of character so here’s what the plot twist is” really cheapen the story and underestimate the depth of aziraphale’s character and his potential. and also underestimate neil’s talent as an author and writer.

neil doesn’t recycle plot twists. he doesn’t do cheap cop out plot twists. he doesn’t leave out loose threads. everything is so carefully thought out and intentional.

i would be genuinely so put off if he wrote a plot twist of “actually it’s not aziraphale it’s crowley” (body swap 2.0 can go die in a hole i hate it) or “omg woah aziraphale was drugged” (one of these days i will write a meta on why coffee theory can go die in a miles deep PIT OF DESPAIR because i hate it even more)

because neil is a better writer than that. neil can and will do better than that. you might think there’s loose ends hanging out but i don’t think there are.

i remember reading american gods and thinking to myself more than once “this scene feels kind of random why’d he include it?” only for it to be actually very important later on in the book. whatever you think is a loose thread right now is more likely something that connects to whatever neil’s got planned for s3.

and also. aziraphale is a more complex character than either of those theories allow him. i’m sorry but if you think that he needed to be DRUGGED to make the decision he did you have not been paying any attention. everything leading up to this point has shown us that aziraphale believes that heaven can be good if only someone (him) can change it. that smile we saw on his face at the very end of s2ep6? that was the smile of an angel who has plans. who knows he can’t go back now, and is ready to gut this place from the inside out.

and body swap 2.0 doesn’t even compute for me. because like 1) body swap happened it’s not gonna happen a second time. and 2) it logically and logistically makes absolutely no sense that at some point in those last few minutes they agreed to body swap and send crowley to heaven. that would completely defeat the entire point of the conflict that is the Final Fifteen, and it would just make it all the more confusing as to why crowley looks so angry at the end? because if it was body swap and that’s actually aziraphale, aziraphale wouldn’t look that mad?? and he’s not even around anyone else so he has no reason to pretend.

and like i get why on some level these theories are fun to play with. but i just can’t shake the feeling that all these theories are on some level rooted in people thinking aziraphale isn’t a complex character. aziraphale has so much nuance and depth to his character, why do you have to convince yourself he was drugged in order to make a nuanced decision?

[avelera]

Where the heck is Satan in Good Omens S2?

And could we perhaps find evidence of him in the places where the furniture used to be?

For reference:

Hastur & Ligur, 1.1: "All Hail Satan." "All Hail Satan."

Crowley, 1.5: "I never asked to be a demon. I was just minding my own business one day and then… oh, lookie here, it's Lucifer and the guys."

Adam Young 1.6: "You're not my dad and you never were."

Satan, 1.6: "No, no, no!" (He promptly dissolves into black ash and vanishes. Immediately after, Aziraphale and Crowley look at their no-longer-flaming sword and tire iron as if not entirely sure why they're there.)

Crowley, 2.1: "Do you ever think, what's the point? ... Heaven, Hell, Demons, Angels?"

Crowley 2.2 (circa ~2000 BCE): "Satan and his diabolical ministers..."

Gabriel 2.3: "I remember when the morning stars sang together and all the angels of god shouted for joy.” (emphasis mine. Lucifer/Satan was the Morning Star. Why the heck is morning stars plural??)

Edit: Shax 2.6: “I demand that you hand over both Gabriel and Beelzebub as gifts for Satan, our master.” (Could debunk the whole theory, might not only because she seems pretty low-ranked and could be going through the motions even though he's gone, but we'll see. Including to get all the evidence down.)

... And I think there's some other S2 references to higher ups and "Our Lord" by Shax supposedly, but I'm too sleep-deprived to go combing through for them (I'd be much obliged if anyone else could grab any other exact quotes that mention Satan by name or seem to refer to him in Season 2.)

Let's first get the Doylist explanation for why Satan might not be around out of the way: Satan was the Big Bad of Season 1. He's been dispatched. Furthermore, he's played by the most likely very expensive Benedict Cumberbatch, so he's not likely to be back in a hurry if it at all can be avoided, and alluding to him at all might just create confusion with viewers who will then expect to see Satan.

(Below the cut: but what if there's more to it than that?)

But as others may have seen with the, "Metatron is actively editing the Book of Life in S2 and that's why things are weird," meta, there's quite a bit of speculation going around that something fucky is going on in S2.

However, while I agree that some points in S2 are certainly fucky I'm not convinced on all or even most of the supporting evidence. Most of the explanations have a Doylist counterpoint like "It's just bad writing," or "They just wanted to bring back some actors they enjoyed working with," or, "The film crew just made a mistake," or "They just forgot that bit of continuity." After all, half of the original writing duo is tragically no longer with us, so there's going to be some level of story drift regardless.

While in general I find the, "It's not that deep," explanation more plausible in most instances, I'd be a very poor disgruntled English Major indeed if I made sweeping claims that the wallpaper being blue is always a coincidence. It's muddier with TV because there's so many proverbial cooks in the kitchen and plenty of human error to go around, but I'd equally never claim that I think Good Omens S2 wasn't a labor of love by those who worked on it, and certainly there's evidence that care was taken in its production, so everything that's off being a mistake is also not a sweeping generalization I'd want to make either.

Which is my way of saying that I'm not convinced by the Metatron meta but I think some of the ideas there are on to something. I don't think it's plausible that a writer would in S3 reveal that in S2, the heretofore largely off-screen character of the Metatron was actively editing the story as we went with the heretofore only mentioned once, never seen, and immediately denounced as a joke Book of Life. BUT, there is some fucky stuff happening that I won't say was the result of some Genius Mastermind Writer deciding it was a good idea to actively write badly and provide stories with no payoff, but I will consider that some of the apparent continuity errors might not be so accidental as they seem, because this was a labor of love and at least on this count, I don't think that Neil was necessarily that careless. Or at least, I'm more inclined to look for clues in places where I can see logistical choices being made, rather than in more subjective claims like "This bad writing is meant to be Bad Writing and therefore a Clue." Because writing is hard even under the best of circumstances, especially in TV and having lost the aforementioned half of a beloved writing duo.

Moving on! Thing is, if we're to believe that there's some sort of mystery hidden in plain sight that was introduced in Season 2, then it did not pay off yet. This makes me a little suspicious of the overall claims that there was a hidden Season 2 mystery, because a good mystery really should pay off within the text, and expecting the reader to keep their unsatisfied suspicions in their heads for 3-4 years for a later satisfying conclusion is... optimistic at best and downright sloppy at worst.

Unless, the mystery spans the entire show. If the clues we're seeing are meant to pay off in S3, and we assume some level of competence, then more likely these are series spanning mysteries that will be satisfying when one is able to watch all three installments. And that means, if there is a mystery in S2, we should be checking back with Season 1 to look for the roots of it.

Which is what brings me to Satan.

What on Earth happened to Satan?

Is Satan still around?

Now, my theory would be much more satisfying to me, personally, if Satan's name was never spoken in S2 but alas, there is the Book of Job episode and I believe some other mentions by name, mostly by Shax? I'd love some backup on that. But I very deliberately don't count demons just saying things like, "Our lord" or making vague referrals to the powers that be to be references to Satan because if he's vanished, someone could have easily filled the power vacuum or there could be an empty throne room somewhere and everyone is just going through the motions (or he's become the Sandman Lucifer who fucked off to lie on a beach, which would be delightful. Anyway).

When Hastur and Ligure showed up in 1.1 they specifically said, "All Hail Satan," and Crowley was shown to be an outsider that he did not return this familiar call-and-response. Yet no one in Hell in S2 uses the All Hail Satan greeting. The references to Satan are few, even in Hell. There doesn't seem to be a lot of fear of Satan either, but more around other higher-ups like Beelzebub, Duke of Hell, who appears to be the highest ranking person we see in Hell?

And also interestingly, Crowley and Beelzebub are both lamenting how pointless all of this seems. Kind of interesting for two individuals who still despise Heaven too and, presumably, took Satan's side once long ago when they all Fell. The political fire has definitely gone out of them, which can be plausibly attributed to the Apocalypse failing and/or the two of them falling in love with their Angelic counterparts, but it's also just kind of weird that suddenly they both really don't see the point in any of these conflicts that once defined their existence.

Perhaps, and this is where I go out on a limb or ten, because Satan isn't around anymore?

Is there no longer a hand at the wheel in Hell, reminding everyone of their loathing of Heaven?

Is there no longer someone actively above Beelzebub, telling them what to do, such that they have the freedom to sneak away and pursue a romance with an archangel and not have their boss show up to stop them the way Gabriel's did?

Did Adam, when he made Satan not his father but more importantly that Satan never was his father, undo more than we realize?

Because that's the kind of Gaiman mystery that I can wholly believe is lurking in plain sight, because Satan was a big deal in S1, he was the Big Bad! It's in the text! The damned book series is built on the idea of a satirical Antichrist take on The Omen. All Hail Satan is one of the first spoken lines of dialogue in the book. Satan is kind of central to any story that's going to revolve around a battle between Heaven and Hell!

And yet... he's barely mentioned this season. And demons suddenly don't remember what they're fighting for. How odd.

Maggie and Nina's actresses also played nuns of the Satanic Chattering Order of St. Beryl. If there was no Antichrist, isn't it possible that neither of those women would have become Satanic nuns and might, instead, own a coffee shop and a record store somewhere?

If there was no Antichrist, isn't it possible that through some convoluted series of events, Madame Tracy, a witch, fell afoul of a demon or managed to become one herself?

Isn't it possible that once you open the door to the ripple effects of a Satan who either never existed (though the Fall still happened) or who only existed up until at least Job, but who was never Adam's father, that some other fucky things could happen too, like Aziraphale suddenly not being fond of alcohol? This continuity detail is much more of a stretch but it is such a plot point in the book that Aziraphale loves to drink and S1 that I do find that particular continuity break particularly vexing and it's one I side-eye the most in terms of "not sure if sloppiness or a Clue".

Anyway, point is:

Satan is curiously absent this season and technically, he was unmade or at least unmade as Adam's father last season. If something is fucking with the timeline, I think that on-screen, very visible event deserves some scrutiny over and beyond vaguely alluded to, off-screen fuckery by the Metatron with no in-text confirmation at all.

There's a lot of weird and bad writing in S2, sure, but some of the continuity breaks do, admittedly, feel too big to be simple oversights and I don't think it's entirely conspiratorial to think something more might be going on and if such a mystery is going to span multiple seasons, we should look back to S1 for the seeds.

It is possible that the unmaking of Satan has had ripple effects that explain some of these continuity changes and some of the cheeky casting of S1 actors in new roles as perhaps not entirely without in-story justification.

So in my mind, the question I have no answer to, but that might deserve some scrutiny going into Season 3 is:

How much did Satan never being Adam's father alter the timeline?

Edit: And here's one last spooky quote to consider: “I remember when the morning stars sang together and all the angels of god shouted for joy." - Gabriel's weird prophecy / quoting of God

Why single out the reference to morning stars plural? Lucifer is very famously the Morning Star, you can't accidentally allude to morning stars in this context without referring to him, you just can't. So what the fuck is going on with this Biblically sourced quote that sort of alludes to Satan, but not by name, and makes the reference to the Morning Star plural?? And even though it is the original text, apparently, it's still a choice by the writers to really highlight the line about morning stars and give that line to Gabriel to say in the present too. Something is sus.

[ineffablenlghtingales]

Oh my, the flashback of Crowley and Aziraphale before the beginning of everything. Angel!Crowley is so adorable. Those little squeaks of delight when he's making the stars...

Aziraphale ends up popping his happiness when he mentions the plans that the universe and all of that is supposed to end in about six thousand years. Then Crowley's understandably upset but just asks (with genuine desire to know, I think) “How much trouble can I get into just asking a few questions?” Okay so I know I asked earlier about Crowley's Fall and y'all said it was implied in one way or another. Was his Fall because he dared to question the Almighty's plans and by those questions seemed to go against the great plan? Because if so, that isn't fair and I don't think Crowley deserved to be cast from Heaven into boiling pools of sulfur and condemned to an eternity as a demon just because he didn't understand the point of creating something so beautiful that would only be destroyed in the blink of an eye. (Another thing I could probably write more about at some later point...)

Then we're brought to present-day London where Crowley meets Shax (hm I decided I don't really like her.) So as I understand it, she's taken Crowley's place as Hell's ambassador? (Did I miss something in S1 or was it explicitly said that Crowley was Hell's ambassador on earth bec it was news to me). I love how Crowley just doesn't give a shit at all.

Memory-wiped Gabriel shows up in his skivvies and I felt sorry for Aziraphale and the massive headache he must have had dealing with him. But I loved John Hamm's performance. Like Gabriel is kind of stupid but not so much stupid as his head is just empty of everything.

Ever the one to help people in need, Azi lets him in, gives him a blanket and tries to figure out what the heaven is going on. Okay, but “You know what it’s like when you don’t know anything at all but you’re totally certain that everything would be better if you were near one particular person?” had me. Azi reacted a little bit too strongly to that, and are we to understand that he's denying the fact that Crowley happens to be that person for him? Open your eyes, dear Azi. Don't deny it, love. Then Gabriel, mentions that “something terrible” might happen and there’s a “thing” he’s supposed to give Aziraphale. The thing turns out to be an empty cardboard box.

Then, one of my favorite scenes. Crowley loses his shit when he sees Gabriel, and you see the poor demon is very much startled.

Crowley (very angry and confused): What's he doing here? Aziraphale: I don't know. Crowley (not impressed): Ask him! Aziraphale (helplessly): He doesn't know either. Crowley (really very much not impressed) *growls*: Ask him, properly! Crowley (to Gabriel): WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING. IN. THIS. BOOK-SHOP-PAH. (makes sure to pop that 'p') Gabriel (a little bit confused): I. Am. Dusting. *Waves the duster in the air)

Then the goose chase for Gabriel begins, Crowley is dragged back to Hell and gets threatened a bit by Beelzebub. Oh! I almost forgot. Crowley gets so mad he electrocutes himself. It was kind of funny. Like I loved how he's stalking out of the bookshop trying (not very hard maybe) to control his anger, and then he starts smoking. Then he shakes and gives up. "I can't do this. I'm so angry!" and yep, electrocutes himself also locking Maggie and Nina in their shop.

Crowley eventually frees the women with a snap of his fingers and goes back to apologize to Azi. But the angel wants the "I Was Wrong Dance” before he’ll forgive his friend for ditching him — and though Crowley is not so okay with that, he does it in the end with this fantastic flourish and bow at the end. Excuse me, sir.

So then they put their heads together and try to figure out what to do about Gabriel and decide to each do half a miracle to hide the amnesiac archangel. They do and are pretty convinced it works. BUT it sets off big alarms in Heaven, whoops.

Recap for 2x02 to come tomorrow, hopefully!

Next episode's recap ➵

[icyolive]

IMO Crowley's brief "how long have you two been together" conversation with Nina was extremely important to the end of the season. This is where he puts two and two together, or at least what leads him to it. He already knew how he felt about Aziraphale; Aziraphale is his best friend, his only friend, His Person. (He says it outright and unapologetically several times in both seasons!) He already knew what human love is (although not the specifics of how to have a healthy relationship).

But it wasn't until Nina asked the usual human "couple questions"--so nonchalantly, so easily, not really even entertaining the idea that they could be not together--that he put those two previously unrelated thoughts together and started to realize they were very very similar.

Sure, he denied it--after all, it wasn't true, not exactly the way she was implying. But that's the face of someone realizing on a fundamental level... it's also not not true. If you take the extremely human concept of sex out of their relationship (something that's not strictly even required amongst humans!) it's preeeettty similar. He knew she was implying a different sort of relationship, but he also knew those questions did actually apply to him and Aziraphale.

As someone who had to be informed by friends that they were dating their now spouse.... that conversation with Nina is the "what? no." that comes right before the "ohhhhhhhhhhhh."

I don't think this significantly changed how he feels about Aziraphale, but it changed how he understands his feelings.

He's wanted to be around Aziraphale for years and years... but 'we're friends, let's hang out' hits a lot differently from 'I love you, I think you love me too, please be with me.'

If the Metatron hadn't interrupted, I don't think there would have been a kiss, at least not for a while; that kiss was such a desperate act, and didn't follow Crowley's usual pattern of gently offering temptations. But it wouldn't have happened without that conversation with Nina, either. Comparing their relationship to a human romantic relationship gave Crowley a new (physical! still physical! use your damned words!) vocabulary to express how deeply he feels for Aziraphale. And he used it in a last ditch effort to get Aziraphale to give up the charade and choose them.

And Aziraphale? He has such a beautifully complex reaction to the kiss because (in addition to the fundamental upheaval their relationship is suddenly going through) he too had never framed their relationship like that. He has that "ohhhhhhhhh, is this--?," right on camera, over a few short seconds, in the middle of an already emotionally charged argument, and out of the two of them, he's the one experiencing a whole lot of cognitive dissonance over the whole "friends with the enemy" thing. So there's this beautiful succession of emotions, anger and desperation and then he touches his lips and oh, but he's still angry and scared and rejected, too.

Anyway, enjoy this wall of text based on two split-second confused expressions performed by David Tennant and Michael Sheen, A++ acting.

[pommedepersephone]

I feel like I'm the only one in the Good Omens fandom who doesn't get the subtext behind the "aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" quote. Do you have thoughts to share on what it means to you?

Ooooh do I. This is probably one of my favorite lines in all of Good Omens. And that is saying something because I'm one of those with an old dog-eared copy of the book AND the S1 script book, both full of underlines (don't tell Aziraphale, he'd be horrified). So, here is my unhinged passionate explanation of what that line means to me, and how I think it actually applies to multiple moments through S2, specifically moments where there is some kind of performance/deception taking place. I will try to keep this only marginally long, so I will break down the three moments I think are MOST important, and then sum it all up at the end. Ready? Here we go!

What the line means in 1941

"Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" clearly applies to the mechanisms of the bullet catch in S2E4, so let's start there. What does the bullet catch tell us about their relationship? First, they are always being watched. By humans (the audience) but also by their respective sides (in this case Hell). Second, they have to pretend they don’t know each other but still have ways to communicate throughout their charade. Third, they HAVE to trust one another. Like, a LOT because - Fourth, their relationship puts them both in danger.

In this context, the line is really interesting because the idea of aiming for the mouth and shooting past the ear can also be interpreted as speaking and acting in ways that either pacify or confuse those watching, but that clearly communicate to one another. There is SOMETHING about the fact that in the presence of the Nazis Crowley speaks very plainly but in a way only Aziraphale would REALLY understand - “If the bomb does land here, it would take a real miracle for my friend and I to survive it” - yet when they are being watched unaware the line that the Nazis manage to get is “banana, fish, gorilla, shoelace with dash of nutmeg” because never, not even alone, do they speak in a completely straightforward manner. This does not mean they do not communicate, it means they communicate in their own language.

What the line means in Job

But wait! There is MORE! Because 1941 isn’t the first time we’ve seen these two perform for an audience! "Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" also applies in Job. There is one big difference - at the start of the story, Crawley is performing alone. He is saying all the right demonic things - "I want to. I long to destroy the blameless children of blameless Job, just as I destroyed his blameless goats." And at first, Aziraphale is in the audience, unaware of the sleight of hand taking place in front of him. But Crawley offers to read him in by showing him… the crows. And Aziraphale ends up stepping into the roll of magician’s assistant as Crawley works to save Job’s kids, human and otherwise.

What I find interesting is the way you can think about mouths and ears here - Crawley lets him hear the crows bleat (shoot past my ear) which lets Aziraphale understand who Crawley really is. Then Crawley offers him the ox rib (aim for my mouth) which in some ways makes Aziraphale begin to actually examine who HE is. Both are necessary if they are going to eventually become An Us, and it really starts here, with Job.

What the line means in the Final Fifteen

By the time we get to present-day S2 “Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear” has taken on such a deep meaning for these two man-shaped beings. Their communication is so rich and layered, where they speak in metaphors and puns and have rituals like the I Was Wrong dance. I mean, just look at this silly little act of love -

I. Simply. Cannot. These two! They deeply enjoy one another. BUT this very complicated language they have developed together only works when they are ON THE SAME PAGE.

What happens in the Final Fifteen? They stop speaking the same language. For the sake of this analysis, we are assuming that Aziraphale is feeling threatened, and is aware that Metatron has ill intent, okay? Okay. In that context… just like 1941, they are AGAIN being watched (this time by Heaven), pretending they don’t know certain things about each other, need to trust each other and their relationship has put them in danger. But here is the kicker - they have slipped back into their roles from the start of Job, except reversed. They don’t have the same information and awareness. Fell the Marvelous is desperately putting on the performance of his life, and Crowley doesn’t even know they are on stage. There was no time for a backroom conversation to discuss the finer points of the trick. In the end, Crowley decides “fuck shooting past your ear, you aren’t hearing me."

And in the MOST devastating way possible, these two aimed for the mouth and shot right past each other's ears. Ouch. OUCH.

*Clears throat, dries eyes* in summary, this little line of poetry does a heavy lift for S2. It applies to scenes where a performance/sleight of hand is taking place, but it reads differently in each one. Importantly, "Aim for my mouth but shoot past my ear" only works out when they are properly partnering not pretendy partnering. If there is information withheld, or they aren't in agreement (this applies to Edinburgh toooooo) things just implode. They have to have TRUST for this to work.

Just in case I seem even remotely normal at this point, here is the little poem I wrote after watching S2 the first time, as the brainrot started to take real hold:

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

tell me the lines but show me your eyes

so i learn how hearts can hide truth in lies

here beside you

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

i promise to burn you if you hold the match

you walk through fire but i'll turn to ash

a shade grey for you

aim for my mouth and shoot past my ear

show me the words i can't seem to hear

give me something to hold as i go through my fear

and here return to you

[chaos-monkeyy]

Okay I never actually thought I'd write proper full-on smut for Aziraphale and Crowley but it's how I cope with Having Feelings, so here you go 😂

Take me to bed (full work on AO3)

…

Crowley eased off on the spur-of-the-moment kiss he’d pressed to Aziraphale’s lips in a ridiculous fit of mortal-inspired romanticism, and… waited. 

Nervously. 

“Oh,” Aziraphale said, wide-eyed. He had turned a rather fetching shade of pink, brushing his fingertips lightly over his own mouth with an expression of pure wonder.  “Oh. I… I can… I think I see why the humans enjoy doing this so much. Oh, my.” 

Crowley cocked his head, genuinely surprised. “What, in all this time… Have you really never kissed anyone? Not even to see what all the fuss and bother was about?” 

Aziraphale shook his head in that familiar, innocently flustered gesture. “Well, no, I mean… I never thought it would… Do it again?” 

Teeth baring in a slow grin, Crowley took a moment to relish the hopeful look shining in Aziraphale’s eyes, and obligingly kissed him again. A little less of a desperate plunge, this time; a little gentler, and slower— and deeper. Aziraphale’s soft exclamation was lost in Crowley’s mouth as he parted the angel’s lips with a carefully insistent touch of his tongue. He couldn’t completely tamp down on his own hunger, though; not after millenia of unconsciously and consciously pent-up desire and need for this, this closeness. This feel of Aziraphale melting against his body, all while making those same quiet sounds of pure pleasure as he did when eating some particularly delectable human food concoction. 

Without really noticing he was doing it, Crowley walked Aziraphale slowly backwards until they came up against the wall, mouths still locked together and Aziraphale panting soft little perpetually-surprised moans into Crowley’s mouth with every breath. The angel didn’t even need to breathe, neither of them did; and yet he was, and breathing hard, no less, the very act bringing another toothy grin to Crowley’s face as he finally broke away just far enough to watch Aziraphale pout in confusion when he did. 

“I take it you’ve never done any of the other things humans do with one another either, then?”

…

[shades-o-grey]

GOOD OMENS FICLET- The Origin of the Apology Dance

My headcanon for how the apology dance originated

It didn't start out as an apology, the content of the dance and the song don't come across that way, so my idea is that it started out as something else and was later used as a way to apologize (or rather get the other to accept an apology).

And so my idea is...

It started out as a silly bet,

Honestly, Aziraphale should've known better than to enter a wager with a demon. But the temptation of proving Crowley wrong was just too well... tempting

Not that an Angel can actually be tempted, it was purely for a moral and angelic reason, a feather on his wing, chalk one up for the side of angels, thwarting the wiles of the wicked sort of thing. I mean it was practically his job!

(Pay no attention to the fact that it is indeed his job, one that he tends forget or just not do)

The only trouble was... what did Aziraphale want Crowley to do once he'd won?

"And what should the winner demand of the loser then?"

Crowley asked staring into his 8th cup that he held loosely in his grasp.

"Buying lunch?"

Aziraphale suggested the first thing to pop in his head.

"No no we always do that, besides, I believe I s'still owe you from, from... I don't know such n' such and you had the thing"

He dismissed the absent recollection of when they'd last dined together with a wild gesture of his hand.

"Mmm"

Aziraphale nodded his head in drunken agreement, also remembering that they had indeed lunched together at some place, at some point, and that he did have - the thing.

They both sat silently for a moment pondering. Trying to think what exactly the penalty of their bet should be.

Suddenly Aziraphale shot up with excitement

"I've got it! The loser must demonstrate a grand gesture of defeat!"

He said with the triumph of someone who had just come up with a brilliant idea. Even though his suggestion was missing and important part.

The part where it provides an actual suggestion.

"n-Yeah - Obviously, that's the point of a bet -Angel. Win so you can recieve something from the defeated. Money, property, y'knoe those sorts of things, humans do it all the time"

"No no, you missed the point. A Grand Gesture, you know a gesture that-thats -gratuitous"

Said drunk Aziraphale who had confused the words Gratuitous and Grandiose

"Wot? You mean like the whole "prostrate yourself, kneel at the feet and beg for for absolution" sort of thing?"

Crowley continued, missing what Aziraphale had tried to say while somehow still wandering in the general direction of what Aziraphale had been attempting to suggest.

Aziraphale wrinkled his pert nose in distaste at the idea of what Crowley thought he might be suggesting.

"No, I don't think either of us would enjoy seeing that very much"

"No, WE- would not." -

Crowley paused, recalling someone who would enjoy such a display. He refocused back on Aziraphale.

-"Then what is it you are trying to suggest? Stand on my head and talk in a silly voice? Run around with you on my back like a mule?"

That made Aziraphale giggle

"hehe AHEM m-no. Not quite that either, but I think we're on the right track"

Crowley's suggestion (which was clearly meant to be a joke) gave Aziraphale an idea.

"Oh! I know! how about... a silly dance?"

"A wot?"

Crowley responded, confused as to how dancing had come into the conversation.

"A dance! You do know what dancing is don't you?"

"Nghk*-n-yeah...but, I thought angels don't dance?"

"Oh! It wouldn't even count as dancing, really it's just a *he waves his hand in the air* silly little... dance of sorts."

"Right, and what would this *he imitates Aziraphale's hand movement* silly little dance look like exactly?"

Azirpahale frowned in concentration,

When he'd made the suggestion, he hadn't thought he'd have to know what the "dance" looked like.

"Well...maybe something... something..."

He paced, gestured, and mapped out movements in his mind.

"-something like this!"

*Aziraphale began to sing a song with some footwork in small dance steps*

"🎶You we're right, you were right-🎶"

Crowley interrupts

"you didn't say anything about singing being a part of it?"

"-its part of it!"

Azirphale quipped back, annoyed at having his concentration interrupted

"Now let me start over"

*He starts the dance over again*

🎶"You were right, you were right"

"I was wrong"

"You were right!"🎶

Aziraphale finishes the song and dance for Crowley

"See? I think this will work splendidly, don't you?"

He gives a proud little wiggle.

Meanwhile, Crowley gets an idea...

"Could you do it again? I don't think I get it"

He asks, clearly up to something.

"Look, you'd have to go like this-"

Aziraphale demonstrates the dance a second time.

-"Now, I hope you were watching closely because I expect a perfect rendition from you once I win this wager, no half-ing it!"

He wiggled his finger at the demon, feeling quite plum and pleased at his cleverness. Seeing Crowley do the dance promised to be quite satisfying.

"Maybe give it another go. I really~ wanna make sure I know what I'm getting."

Crowley was laying it on thick, exaggerating his eagerness to "learn" this new dance while a smirk was desperate to escape his face.

Aziraphale goodnaturedly starts to demonstrate for a 3rd time.

"It really quite simple its-

He stops abruptly

Crowley is shaking with the force required to contain his mirth.

Aziraphale has a realization of what Crowley has been doing-

"CROWLEY!"

Azriaphale exclaimed, abashed- A dash of reproach added in his voice for good measure towards the wily demon.

*Crowley burst into a loud cackle*

"AAh hAhA  *snort* haha ha!"

"You were having me on weren't you!"

"hehe -You *snort* caught on a lot faster than *hehe* then I expected"

"Really now? You were just going to make me repeat the dance over and over!? It's supposed to be for the wager!"

"Oh come on Angel-"

"Well you're not getting me to do it again."

Crowley smirked, remembering something Aziraphale seemed to have forgotten.

"Well, once I win, you'll have to do another show of it"

Aziraphale began to pale, turning a similar shade of white to his hair.

Crowley leaned over so his citrine serpentine eyes peered over his dark lenses. His eyes crinkled in amusement at the flummoxed angel before him.

"I'm looking forward to the encore Angel~"

(It would come to pass that Aziraphale would demonstrate the dance many more times throughout their history, much to his chagrin and to Crowley's great pleasure)

FULL FIC ON AO3 HERE!!!

"The Little Dance"- (Origin of The Apology Dance)

VillianousAce (TheSleepParalysisDemon)

[badaziraphaletakes]

This may be a bad place to ask this question, but I have a bad headache and feel like making poor choices.

If some fans who have posited this turn out to be right-I will not feel surprised or that the story choice was unfounded or unearned- but at the moment I'm of the personal opinion that Aziraphale really did like the idea of going back to Heaven to fix it from the inside with Crowley and that his face at the end is a mixture of sadness about breaking up with Crowley and alarm at what Metatron has just revealed about the second coming.

If we take the story at face value-I am struggling to see why this would engender quite so much hatred of Aziraphale. In taking the narrative at face value as I am currently doing- I see a being desperate for approval and acceptance in an abusive system that they've believed in their whole lives and breaking out of that is really really difficult and sometimes there are setbacks. I guess one of the emotions I feel for Aziraphale right now is pity.

Given some recent blog posts of your's on my dash, I think there might be something I'm missing though?

This may be a bad place to ask this question, but I have a bad headache and feel like making poor choices.

Hi! Thanks for reaching out! It’s not a poor choice! We definitely want to keep these lines of dialogue open :) We try our best to be respectful when engaging in discussions like these! After all, our goal is to promote a more respectful and inclusive fandom.

If some fans who have posited this turn out to be right-I will not feel surprised or that the story choice was unfounded or unearned- but at the moment I'm of the personal opinion that Aziraphale really did like the idea of going back to Heaven to fix it from the inside with Crowley and that his face at the end is a mixture of sadness about breaking up with Crowley and alarm at what Metatron has just revealed about the second coming.

It’s certainly possible. I don’t blame him for wanting to believe what the Metatrash said - after all, ever since Crowley fell, Aziraphale has never for one moment imagined that there’s any possible scenario where he and Crowley could be safe together, so no wonder he leapt at the idea of them both being able to be in heaven together (assuming that’s what happened and he wasn’t, idk, bluffing or something - but I’m not even gonna open that can of worms lol). Also, I don’t personally think it’s wrong of him to want to try to fix heaven from the inside, either. It’s not like he has any other choice, after all.

I am struggling to see why this would engender quite so much hatred of Aziraphale. Us too! :)

In taking the narrative at face value as I am currently doing Fwiw, I don’t think anyone is or isn’t taking the FF “at face value”. It’s very clear there’s a lot of the FF we didn’t see and a lot of things about it that were deliberately meant to be confusing. It makes sense that some people think Aziraphale was happy at the idea of Crowley going back to heaven and some people don’t and some people think Crowley stopped time and some people don’t and some people think the whole thing was planned and some people think Aziraphale had a bullet in his mouth and some don’t, lol! :)

I see a being desperate for approval and acceptance in an ab*sive system that they've believed in their whole lives That’s definitely one possible explanation and if that is what was going on in Azi’s brain, that’s FINE and NOBODY has the right to condemn him for it.

But here’s the thing: We saw that Metatrash could hear what was being said in the bookshop and that Aziraphale knew that.

Given that, it’s a very safe bet that the conversation was very different because Aziraphale knew he was listening.

(We also have the extremely unsubtle “coffee or death” metaphor and we saw that Metatrash tapped the Coffee or Death logo which just happened to be facing toward Aziraphale and that Aziraphale saw him do it. Metatrash was holding a gun to his head.)

Is it possible that Aziraphale wants Metatrash’s/heaven’s approval and acceptance / still believes in him to some extent? Sure. HOWEVER. We should never assume victims believe the things their ab*sers force them to say. As a survivor, I can attest that that assumption is exceptionally painful and burdensome for victims to have to live with and multiplies the psychological harm. (And sadly, the assumption is rampant in our culture. There have been studies that show that people think victims in hostage videos who read statements prepared by their kidnappers with a gun held to their head actually believe the things they’re being forced to say. It’s deeply troubling. Not saying this is what you’re doing just to be clear lol!)

Victims get into this horrible mental pretzel of thinking that they’re as bad as their ab*ser and must secretly like and/or deserve and/or "cause" the ab*se, and so on, yada yada yada. It plays into the ab*ser's goals of causing alienation from friends and loved ones so that the victim has to depend completely on them for physical and emotional reasons, and of eroding the victim's sense of self, by making them think they're a bad person. (E.g. Victim thinks "I must be a bad person, because if I were a good person, I wouldn't have let [ab*ser's name] make me say that my friend is fat" etc etc). It’s really one of the most depressing aspects of ab*se.

Given that, I think practicing giving Aziraphale (or whatever character) the benefit of the doubt and defaulting to the interpretation of his motives that attributes as much influence as possible to the literal gun to his head lol (i.e. he’s going back to heaven because he doesn’t have a choice and needs to do it to protect Crowley, slash also to save the world, because, let’s face it, it’s not like they have any other options; they were only able to interfere with Armageddon in S1 because Crowley’s official position working for hell gave him an in) is good for us to get into the habit of, so we can make sure we extend the same respect and dignity to real-life victims/survivors. (At this blog we are HUGE believers in the idea that the way we behave toward characters informs the way we behave toward real-life people, and also reflects it).

and breaking out of that is really really difficult and sometimes there are setbacks.

Absolutely. The physical setbacks (i.e. “my ab*ser will kill me if I leave” &c &c) are far too often underattributed, however, with far too much of victims’ motivations for staying being put down to “psychological confusion” or “emotional ties” or whatever. I wish we as a society would pay more attention to how to solve the problem of ab*sers committing ab*se in the first place, and then why they are so much more likely to kill their victims if they try to leave, rather than the question of why some victims are still in love with their ab*sers and so on and so forth. Because that is the only way we'll ever find a solution. Whether you’d want to stay with the ab*ser even if you had the choice to leave is completely irrelevant when you can’t leave because they’d kill you if you did.

I guess one of the emotions I feel for Aziraphale right now is pity.

Us too!

Given some recent blog posts of your's on my dash, I think there might be something I'm missing though?

Hope this helped! :) Again, thank you for a very thoughtful ask! It gave me an opportunity to revisit some points that I think bear re-iterating frequently on the blog anyway, so I appreciate that!

[mimisempai]

Losing Control

Summary

When it comes to Aziraphale, Crowley recognizes that his reactions aren't very rational, but he's about to discover that it's not just anger that makes him... electric...

Notes

It's the same frustration as Crowley after a trying nightshift that makes me write this little nothing to cope.

On Ao3

Rating G -  1248 words

"That one again. What does he want with him now?"

Sitting in the coffee shop at Nina's, Crowley watched as Aziraphale, who was supposed to join him, was once again pestered by Mr Brown, Mr Boredom himself.

"Too close, step back or I'll make you!"

The demon was annoyed that even though Aziraphale had introduced him officially as his partner, the other man still indulged in this kind of familiarity.

He inhaled and exhaled to calm himself and looked down at his hand, a small lightning bolt jumping from his index finger to his thumb. Then he closed his fist and made it disappear.

"Control yourself. You can do this."

"You're not going to turn off the neighbourhood power again, are you?"

Crowley glared at Nina, well, as much as he could, and replied, "No, I'm not that angry. And I'm capable of controlling myself."

Nina picked up his empty cup and passed a cloth across the table, telling him, "I'm not sure you're being rational about your sweetheart. I know I'm not if..."

"Maggie's involved?"

Nina swiped at his arm with her cloth and replied, "Mind your own business."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and countered, "Yeah, yeah, Nina, like you mind your own business..."

"Touché. Then let me get on with it. What are you so angry about? Don't you trust him?"

Crowley immediately replied, "Of course I do!" 

Then, seeing Aziraphale waving his hand and coming towards him, he stood up and said, "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to meet my sweetheart as you say."

Nina let him pass with a small mocking smile on her lips and as he walked through the door, having just joined Aziraphale, she called out to him, "And don't give us another power cut." 

Crowley held back a rebuke, cursing her inwardly for Aziraphale didn't know what had happened when he had left the bookshop in a huff after their argument.

The angel looked at him in confusion as they walked towards the shop and asked, "What did she mean by that?" 

Crowley muttered between his teeth, "Not here, Angel, I'll explain in the shop."

Moments later, as they closed the door behind them, Aziraphale immediately asked, "Tell me about it.

Crowley paced the shop for a few seconds and, after a sigh, explained, "When we argued about Gabriel and I stormed out, I was so angry that I first tried to calm myself down by doing the human thing, you know, just breathing and counting to ten before doing something stupid. But my anger and frustration were so strong that I couldn't do that and I let it out with a lightning bolt so powerful that it knocked out the electricity in the neighborhood and trapped Nina and Maggie in the coffee shop. Well, Angel, you know the whole story. Another demon quirk."

Aziraphale approached Crowley and, resting a hand on his arm to calm him, said softly, "It is not so much the quirk as the reason that concerns me, my dear. The fact that your anger was so intense. And that I'm responsible for it. Looking back, even though I don't think my decision would have been any different, I think I went about it the wrong way with you. Calling you for help to present you with a done deal instead of taking the time to discuss it wasn't very smart of me and..."

Crowley interrupted, "I didn't act very rationally either, because my last memory of Gabriel was the arrogant Archangel telling you to shut your stupid mouth and die. You and I were excellent at what we did best back then, not really talking."

He placed his hand on Aziraphale's, which was still on his arm, and grasped it, intertwining their fingers.

Then the angel frowned and asked, "But Crowley, why did Nina imply that you could have the neighborhood's power turned off again? Did you have any reason to be angry?"

Crowley started to let go of the angel's hand and walk away, but the angel wrapped his fingers around his hand and stopped him, saying softly, "Crowley, please tell me.

Crowley, avoiding the angel's gaze, replied, "About Mr. Brown..."

Aziraphale understood immediately and continued, "You were jealous. You know you have no reason to be, don't you?"

Crowley finally looked at him and replied, "I know Angel, I trust you."

Aziraphale replied, "You know I love you and I'd never betray you. So why..."

The angel seemed to realize something and said quietly, "Metatron... You're afraid I'll be influenced... again."

Crowley shook his head, "It's not that. I mean, not really. I know it in my head. I know you won't be swayed, but this visceral fear, I can't help but feel it. I trust you completely, Angel, but just letting this... Mr. Brown getting close to you... it was uncontrollable."

He raised his hand in front of the Angel's eyes and showed him the small lightning bolt that went from his finger to his thumb before it disappeared.

Aziraphale asked him quietly, "And is there anything we can do to keep you from causing a blackout? I don't know... go somewhere deserted and let it all out?"

Crowley laughed softly before saying, "That's nice of you, Angel, but I think there's something that would help me a lot and be a lot quicker and easier to do."

Aziraphale looked at him curiously and asked, "And what would that be?"

Crowley's smile turned mischievous as he replied, "A hug, or maybe even a kiss, from an angel."

The angel replied with the same smile on his lips, "I guess that could be considered, come here..." then he opened his arms and the demon immediately moved forward and wrapped his arms around him. Aziraphale held him close and after a few moments whispered in his ear, "What more can I do for you, my love?"

He heard a small crackle behind him and felt the demon freeze in his arms. 

He asked, "Was that a lightning bolt?"

The demon nodded against him and Aziraphale murmured, "Because I called you my love?"

The same little crackle.

Aziraphale chuckled slightly and continued, "It seems it's not just anger that makes you react like that, my love..."

Crowley growled at him, "Angel, that's enough," and started to back away, but Aziraphale held him back, saying soothingly, "I'll stop, I promise."

The demon stopped struggling and after a few moments said, "It seems that anger isn't the only thing that triggers this phenomenon..."

Aziraphale asked gently, "Is it best if I stop calling you that, then?"

"No, please, Angel..."

The answer was whispered so softly that Aziraphale barely heard it. He said into the demon's ear, "Then I'll continue, my love."

Another small crackling sound.

Aziraphale couldn't help but laugh softly, then he pulled the demon aside a little to take its cupped face between his hands and said softly, "But I'd rather it be my words that cause this phenomenon than anger."

Then he brought his face close to the demon's and said softly, looking into his eyes, "My love..." before closing the distance between them and kissing him tenderly.

And although the demon's fingers crackled again, this time neither of them noticed.

However, a few days later, on Whickber Street, a strange phenomenon could be observed whenever Mr. Brown approached Aziraphale a little too closely. 

The man would suddenly start jumping up and down as if he'd been hit by... an electric shock.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Growing Love series : here (After season 2)

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here (Before season 2)

[actual-changeling]

TW // SA mention

What’s the difference between emotional manipulation and just being desperate? You said Aziraphale “speed-runs an emotional manipulation checklist” after he called Crowley back, but I didn’t get that sense at all…he just sounded confused and desperate to me? How is his “i need you” different from Crowley’s kiss, for instance? I think those are their respective most desperate moments. Can emotional manipulation be unintentional? I can maybe see it but it feels like the equivalent of calling Crowley’s kiss sexual assault. Like yes it was, but it feels like too extreme of language to use in this specific context with these specific characters, even if it does invoke an uncomfortable personal feeling (at least for me).

Hi anon!

Lots of difficult questions but I'll do my best to answer them—it won't be in chronological order, just going based on vibes and the easiest way to make it coherent. This will probably get very, very long, sorry in advance.

(side note: I will be discussing manipulation techniques in detail, so tread with caution if this is something that squicks you out or triggers you)

Can emotional manipulation be unintentional?

Short answer: Yes, absolutely!

The important thing here is that there is a gigantic difference between emotional manipulation as such and on-going emotional abuse; the latter is not something you can do on accident, it requires a certain amount of intent and power.

Emotional manipulation, on the other hand, can mean everything from the small actions we do pretty much daily to malicious attempts to influence someone else.

Appealing to someone's emotions is an average part of communication, you can see it in advertisements or when you talk your friend into doing something because "it'll be fun, trust me", and it's not necessarily bad! We're a social species, and that low-level emotional communication is a part of that.

This is commonly referred to as emotional influence or persuasion, it's generally harmless.

There is, however, a very big grey zone, and you reach that once the other person finds that they are uncomfortable or crossing their own boundaries without wanting to.

E.g. if you have a friend with a phobia of clowns and you talk them into going to the circus with you event though they do not want to, they will probably end up feeling like they have to go or you will be upset with them/it will impact your friendship.

At that point, it's no longer completely innocent, it's what most people would understand as mild (to severe depending on the situation) active manipulation.

You want someone to do something so you use what you know about them to get them to do it.

Manipulation is about control, it's about achieving your own goal without having to compromise while convincing the other person to cross whatever boundaries they need to placate you.

So, to summarize, the important questions to consider are:

what is the relationship of the people involved?

what situation is it about/what goal does one party want to achieve?

are there any relevant outside influences (e.g. a time limit)?

what is the emotional state of everyone?

are boundaries being crossed?

has this happened before/is there a pattern?

Now, I could use this checklist and comb through the entire conversation, but I will focus on that final part I mentioned.

The "status" of their argument is as follows:

Crowley has ended the conversation and wants to leave

neither of them changed their mind or has expressed any interest that they want to do so

Crowley is very hurt and no longer feels comfortable around Aziraphale (-> he put on his sunglasses)

This should have been the end of it, but Aziraphale follows him and stops him from leaving—this is not manipulation but it shows a lack of respect for Crowley's needs (and not for the first time either). Keeping an argument going when the other person actively wants to get out of it is not just unkind, it also harms the relationship you have with them; it's not like he storms off either, there is a proper ending to it.

Aziraphale's actions here made me uncomfortable too, and I can explain why!

While there are different vulnerabilities someone can exploit to manipulate someone, Aziraphale uses Crowley's biggest (and more or less only) vulnerability: his emotional connection to and dependency on Aziraphale. It is the reason Crowley has caved time and time again in the past, he loves him and does not want to lose him, and that makes him willing to hurt himself if it means keeping Aziraphale by his side and happy.

Let's go through it one by one.

Crowley! Crowley, come back, to Heaven!

He is using Crowley's name, which is the second time he does it after "nothing lasts forever". Using someone's name in a conversation is an attempt to make it more personal, to make it more 'urgent', so to speak. There is a big difference between, e.g. "I love you" and "I love you, Crowley".

Work with me! We can be together!

Here Aziraphale uses Crowley's own language against him. Earlier, Crowley said

I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can.

It's a phrase he uses a lot, be together, do something together, go off together—and Aziraphale knows that, so either consciously or subconsciously, he uses the same language Crowley used to appeal to him. Copying someone's wording can have a bunch of reasons and effects. In this situation, I think it's simply meant to rile him up again, to make him more emotional.

Aziraphale says 'together' to make it seem like they actually want the same thing and that Crowley is in the wrong for wanting to leave the bookshop & not coming with him to heaven. It definitely hits Crowley quite deeply because he looks like he got punched and then turns away.

Angels… doing good!

Not going to linger on this one long because that alone is worth a big post. It's a moral imperative. We can do good together, don't you want to do good? Be good? Good is the superior moral option to bad, so why would you not want to do good?

It works for Aziraphale because he has his own issues around the good/evil and angel/demon dichotomy, but it does not work on Crowley because his moral compass is far too complex; he knows that 'doing good' means absolutely nothing here.

I… I need you!

Pretty much the clearest example for the emotional manipulation taking place here.

I need you.

You love me, you want me to be safe, you have always protected me in the past, so do it again. I NEED you to do this.

Openly admitting to 'needing' Crowley puts more pressure onto him to act.

How dare you not give the person you love what he needs? Do you not love him enough? Are you that selfish? Would you leave him alone and weak on purpose and deny him the support he is asking for? Aziraphale loves you, he needs you, he wants to do good things with you, why are you being mean and disagreeing? You are the bad guy here, look at how sad you are making him. He needs you—give yourself to him.

This is also known as guilt-tripping.

In the past, threats along these lines have worked. He came back to help him with Gabriel, he did not leave earth, he returned no matter how mean Aziraphale was because Crowley wants to keep him safe.

This time, Aziraphale has pushed him too far and it doesn't work, so he resorts to the next item on the list.

I don't think you understand what I'm offering you.

You don't know what you are doing but I do, so you should listen to me and follow me in what I do.

Everyone always gets caught up on Crowley calling him an idiot (which imo is perfectly justified here) but no one ever talks about the fact that Aziraphale's line here is incredibly demeaning and condescending.

CROWLEY does not know what you are offering him? The angel who fell TRYING TO CHANGE HEAVEN? You are telling him that you know better than him what that is like?

It's insulting, it's a blatant attempt at manipulation, and it is the one thing Crowley responds to.

I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do.

"I understand" is a fact. He does understand. Even after all of this, Crowley does not say "I know better than you". He says I think, giving Aziraphale an opening to disagree with him, to explain his position and why he thinks he knows better than Crowley—but Aziraphale ignores it because he knows he's in the wrong.

Which brings us to the grande finale.

Well… then there's nothing more to say.

Exact mirror to their argument about Gabriel.

You're at liberty to go. If you won't, you won't. Do what I want and if you don't I will kick you out.

We can go back even further than that because Aziraphale has used this threat with a very similar wording before and had success with it.

It is essentially an ultimatum: Agree with me or I won't talk to you again. Same contents with a slightly different package. I think Crowley saw it coming this time plus Aziraphale has emotionally wrung him out already, so it does not have the desired effect.

Aziraphale still tried to use it though.

Saying Aziraphale attempted to emotionally manipulate Crowley is simply calling it what it is. It does not make him a villain or a bad guy, it does not mean that their relationship is somehow abusive.

You are right, Aziraphale is desperate and confused, he's feeling out of control, and that unfortunately makes people more likely to try and manipulate others to regain said control. I think some parts are intentional, others are unintentional and a consequence of his complete lack of self awareness and reflection, but it's manipulation nonetheless—and it's not alright that he does it.

Crowley—who is arguably even more upset and shocked—doesn't fall back on emotional manipulation.

Being upset, traumatized, in distress, mentally ill, whatever you want to list, nothing gives someone else the right to emotionally manipulate someone and abuse their known vulnerabilities. I could go through many of their conversations and write down in detail how exactly Aziraphale is trying to manipulate Crowley because this is really just the tip of the iceberg, but this is already wayyyyyyy too long, so I will save that for if anyone else has more questions.

I hope this helped clarify things, anon!