#i think he doesn’t care about using sick time either but haven’t confirmed that

[lilgynt]

hate my stupid ass company. why do i have occurrences for using sick time. why can i not switch days i am actively trying to work with you. like why is that also an occurrence. why do they not drop off after 90 days im gonna eat raw wood

[melishade]

Attack on Prime New Age Anthology: Return to that Sick Mind II

Main Story

Icebreakers

Strange Technology

Return to that Sick Mind I

"I told you the Autobots are still on Cybertron," Megatron stated as Optimus continued pace in the forest, his battle mask equipped. Meanwhile, the former warlord was leaning against a tree watching the Prime pace, "I don't know if anyone attacked."

"Yet you do not have evidence to prove you claim," Optimus retorted.

"I left the planet after you became one with Primus. How many time do I have to explain that to you?" Megatron demanded.

"They are my comrades, and what makes you so sure that I can believe what you're telling me?" Optimus demanded.

"It's not like either of us can return to Cybertron," Megatron said, "This planet could be billions of light years away and this world has less technology than Earth. It hasn't even invented electricity yet. Besides, I killed the one threat to Cybertron before I left. Airachnid was stranded on Luna-1. She would've planned an attack, knowing her, so I had to intervene before it was too late."

"So you did kill Airachnid," Bumblebee spoke, directing the current Megatron from the memory.

"Airachnid was the only threat that I had a confirmed location on," the current Megatron explained, "If she decided to attack Cybertron with her horde of Insections, you wouldn't have stood a chance, considering your numbers."

"...thanks for that, I suppose," Bumblebee said.

"Don't thank him!" Ratchet shouted through the comm. link.

"Bumblebee, you need to ask about these claims," Ultra Magnus reminded.

"Look, I know that you have a history with Optimus, and Optimus would probably advocate for you," Bumblebee began, "But these other humans...did..." Bumblebee was afraid to ask, but... "Did one of them blackmail you?"

Bumblebee froze in place when he saw Megatron's optic twitch in response before he let out a groan of frustration.

"The mad scientist told you!" Megatron pointed at Bumblebee, "I knew they would say something like that because they know they can get away with it! I bet they had a smug grin on their face when telling that fragging story!"

"What the frag?" Bulkhead questioned in confusion.

"That's exactly what Jack said in the text," Smokescreen added.

"So!...that happened?!" Bumblebee demanded.

Megatron rolled his optics as the memories shifted once more to that of a small room. Bumblebee saw the human in question, sitting at the other end of a table while Megatron was in his human form, standing up.

“Your threats, your murderous tendencies, nearly shooting Levi in the gut, threatening to destroy humanity unless Erwin resigned, almost killing Historia. Believe me, that list goes on for a while!” Hanji stood up and glared at him. “It becomes my business when my comrades get threatened. Your help isn’t worth it if my subordinates don’t feel safe.”

Megatron smiled wickedly. “Is that supposed to be threatening? How pathetic must you be?”

Hanji clicked their tongue in response. “If anything, you’re the pathetic one. How low do you have to go in order to make Optimus happy? Especially since he hasn’t forgiven you for all the shit you pulled during the war.”

Bumblebee saw the shift in Megatron’s eyes before it turned into anger, but the human continued. “You haven’t been one to deny it. I mean, you have no issue murdering anyone or anything that gets into the way of what you want, something you know Optimus doesn’t approve of.”

“I don’t care about what Optimus thinks of me,” Megatron proclaimed.

Hanji tilted their head in response, and Bumblebee saw their calculated expression turn into one of apathy as they shrugged.

“Fine,” Hanji walked past Megatron and to the door, “If you don’t care, as you like to put it, I’ll just go talk to Optimus right now. I’m sure Optimus would be happy to know that you blackmailed humanity’s strongest and the 13th Commander of the Survey Corps. Even better, Optimus would love to hear those words you said to Eren back in the coup, which started the domino effect of him wanting to put a bullet in skull.”

Bumblebee could see genuine panic in Megatron's eyes as Hanji reached for the door. He saw it crack open and he did see someone else on the other side of the door before Megatron rushed over and slammed it shut. Bumblebee couldn't help but fear for Hanji's life as they looked up at Megatron's murderous expression. But they didn't cower in fear.

They smirked in response to his action. “Did I touch a nerve?”

“Give me one good reason why I should not kill you where you stand,” Megatron ordered ominously.

Hanji sucked in a breath and thought it over. “That’s the thing: you can’t kill me.”

Bumblebee flinched in fear as Megatron wrapped his hand around Hanji's neck and slammed them into the door. Bumblebee also noticed the current Megatron actually flinching at the memory too.

“I’ve told you before that I could snap your neck before another word comes out of your mouth,” Megatron reminded them, “Do you really want your last words to be a bluff?”

Hanji chuckled before speaking in a strained voice. “You’ve always made these types of threats. Honestly, it’s kind of boring and redundant.”

Hanji winced as Megatron’s grip became tighter, but they still smiled wickedly in response. “So go on. Kill me so I don’t have to hear your horse shit.”

Megatron still had that murderous look in his eyes, but he made no move to end their life.

“Aw, what’s the matter?” Hanji goaded, “Killing a human suddenly too hard for you, or is the tactic too easy to be traced back to you?”

“You should be terrified,” Megatron told them.

“Believe me, I am,” Hanji admitted to the titan, “But I thought it over. You haven’t killed me because I’m an ally to Optimus Prime. You care for Optimus; you can’t deny that now. You care about him, and his interests. So…if a person is a sure threat to Optimus, you can make a move to eliminate them. But…if the person is an ally: You. Can’t. Touch. Them. Which is why you didn’t kill Levi when you had the chance, why you were hesitant to kill Historia, and why you won’t kill me right now. So unless you want Optimus to go batshit crazy on you, you might want to put me down.”

Bumblebee couldn't help but wait in anticipation. He waited for the other shoe to drop and for Megatron to kill them, but Megatron dropped them. Hanji gasped as they collapsed onto the ground, coughing while rubbing their neck from the pain.

“Looks like I was right,” Hanji spoke.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” Megatron warned.

“Those threats are empty now,” Hanji retorted.

“Then let me make a real one,” Megatron began as he grabbed Hanji’s face, “The same one I gave to your predecessor: go against Optimus’ wishes, and I’ll destroy the island.”

“Hurt any of my subordinates and I’ll make sure Optimus never forgives you,” Hanji threatened.

“…It seems we are at an impasse,” Megatron commented as he let them go, “What I don’t understand is why bother to go through the effort?”

“You are a powerful titan from among the stars,” Hanji reminded, “I’d do anything to know what’s inside that head of yours.”

"All of that just to get a reaction?!" Bumblebee exclaimed.

"Looking back, I'm certain something else trigger Hanji's little hypothesis," Megatron explained, "Still, our relationship is...strange and chaotic. Part of the time, they asked for my assistance. Other times, they asked about my mission. And multiple times they have tested my patience as an experiment."

"...They threw a whiskey bottle at you!" Bumblebee exclaimed.

"That!...actually wasn't related to their demeanor," Megatron confessed.

"I'm confused, because it sounds like you're not blaming them for throwing a whiskey bottle at you," Bumblebee accused.

"...When I was infiltrating Marley, I had aligned myself with someone who proclaimed to want to help the island. However, we had learned that this ally was responsible for the death of their comrade that was marked off as missing in action. I got him to make a confession and it caused them to spiral. They demanded that I kill him out of revenge and spite, but the vitality of the mission was more important in that moment."

Bumblebee watched the scene shift into that of an office. The same person that displayed confidence moments before was now lying on the couch, drunk and tired, while Megatron's holoform was standing on the other side of the room, with a young teen right behind him.

"I told them no," Megatron declared.

As if Hanji heard the current Megatron's response, they shot up from the couch and lifted their head, and Bumblebee saw their gritted teeth and angry eyes, their cheeks dried from tears spent earlier. Hanji grunted as they threw the whiskey in their hand at the two. Megatron quickly got in front of the teen behind him and the bottle hit Megatron directly on the side of his head. The action stunned Bumblebee. Megatron protected a human with no incentive again.

“Are you,” Hanji grabbed the other empty whiskey bottle, “FUCKING SERIOUS?!”

Hanji chucked the bottle with better accuracy, but Megatron was able to catch the bottle in time before throwing it aside.

“I’m telling you to KILL ZEKE!” Hanji shouted as they stumbled towards him, “You hate Marley! You hate humanity! I’m telling you to go insane! Do what you’ve been doing for the past four million fucking years! AND YOU WON’T EVEN TAKE THAT CHANCE?!”

Hanji tried to throw a punch at Megatron, but the titan caught their wrist with ease. Hanji then shoved their other hand onto Megatron’s face, wanting to yank on something. Maybe his hair. “I BET YOU’D DO IT IN A HEARTBEAT IF IT WAS OPTIMUS ASKING YOU!”

Bumblebee watched Hanji continue to struggle and do damage to Megatron, but nothing seemed to be working. Bumblebee glanced over at the current Megatron and saw...pity in Megatron's optics.

“WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU?!” Hanji screamed, earning Bumblebee's attention, “Humans didn’t hurt you, or torture you, or do god knows what! What did humanity ever do to make you hate us so much?! Do you just hate us because you can?! Are you just that spiteful?!”

Hanji grabbed the coat of the holoform as tears fell down their cheeks. “We didn’t do anything wrong! We didn’t hurt you! We didn’t hurt anyone out there! We just wanted humanity to be free! Maybe I tortured and killed people! So did Levi! But Mike didn’t! Mobilit didn’t! Petra, Oluo, Eld, Gunther, none of them did! They were good people! They died for a noble dream!”

Hanji hung their head as their tears hit the floor. “They died for a dream that never existed. For a lie. It was all a lie. God…god…I’m so tired…I just…want to die.”

Nothing was heard in the room besides Hanji's tears. Bumblebee grew fearful as Megatron moved his hand towards Hanji. He grabbed their chin and forced the Commander to look up at him with their teary and heartbroken face.

“Hanji, you know just as well as I do why the Beast Titan is still alive,” Megatron said to them, “He still has a use for the island. A resource like him cannot be so easily wasted. He also holds the power of the nine titans, and is of royal blood. I’m certain you don’t want to put the Queen in danger so soon. When the Beast Titan’s usefulness runs its course, which it will eventually, I will grant you your wish. I will make sure that human goes through unbearable and unspeakable torment to the point where he will be begging for death. Then I will force him to undergo something far worse than death itself. Until that day, you must wait and be patient. But I assure you that day will come sooner than later.”

Bumblebee could tell Hanji wasn't satisfied with Megatron’s response. They forced themselves out of Megatron’s hold before stumbling over to the table. They hunched over it before holding the mechanism that was there in their arms with the utmost care.

“Get the fuck out of my office,” Hanji ordered in a defeated voice.

"Pretty violent reassurance," Bumblebee remarked, trying to ease the tension.

"I'm not good at providing reassurance," Megatron reminded.

"I'm just surprised you'd provide it at all," Bumblebee confessed, "It's unlike you."

"Bumblebee, don't be deceived. This is Megatron we're talking about!" Ratchet warned.

"Wait, Knockout, did you get snacks?!" Smokescreen yelled.

"I've done many things that aren't like me ever since I've arrived on this planet," Megatron declared, "I've been working with humans, pretending to be a human, and-!"

"Created a cure for an energon virus for a human," Bumblebee interjected, causing Megatron to look at him in surprise. Bumblebee expected Megatron to lash out in anger. Deny the action and demand who would tell him such a ridiculous claim, but instead, Megatron opened his mouth and said-!

"Colt's alive?" Bumblebee looked flabbergasted at the concern and relief on Megatron's face. Bumblebee saw the memories change and he found himself in an infirmary. Megatron's holoform was holding a notebook while seated, talking with a rather sickly teen lying in bed, forcing himself to sit up.

“Did…did you find a cure for me?”

“I wouldn’t call it a cure,” Megatron admitted, this time in a different accent, “We still haven’t seen long term effects of the substance I’ve made. I have been working non-stop to come up with something however.”

Colt shook his head in disbelief. “I…I don’t understand.”

“Understand what?” Megatron began as he reopened his notebook.

“Why would you go through that much effort to find a cure for me?” Colt asked him, “Why are you going through that much effort to save my life? I’m an Eldian: a devil. I shouldn’t be worth your time. A-and it’s not even now. The first day we met, the treats, the acts of kindness. I don’t understand why you’re doing all of this.”

“Do I really need a reason?” Megatron asked him as he read his notes, “I’ve lived in an environment where Eldia and Marley don’t matter. While everyone around you see you as a devil, I just see a little kid. When you realize that Eldian and Marley don’t matter, the world is your oyster.”

Megatron looked up at Colt, and the ex-con could see the somewhat sad and tired expression on his face. Megatron shut the notebook and leaned forward.

“I…I also think that you’re a good kid,” Megatron confessed, “You don’t buy into the Marley propaganda, and you just want to keep your family and brother safe. It’d be disappointing to see someone like you die so early.”

"I know I crafted a persona that didn't care for Marley's glory or the Eldians," the current Megatron began, "But I did mean those words."

"...you grew attached to the enemy?" Bumblebee asked in surprise.

"More pity than attachment," Megatron clarified, but even Bumblebee could tell that was a weak lie, "Eldians were forced into internment zone because they had the ability to transform into cannibalistic titans. If the pure titan isn't able to find a titan shift, one who can freely transform from human to titan at will, they would be stuck like that for all eternity. No humanity, no intelligence, just the innate desire to consume humans in order to regain their humanity by the slimmest of chances. Because of this, Eldians like him have been treated as second class citizens. Less rights, less food, discrimination, these humans aren't even allowed burial rights. Their bodies are devoured by pure titans or carted off for experimentation."

Bumblebee saw a memory of Megatron's holoform reading a book while four children and that same teen were running laps. "They were brainwashed into believing their devils, and the only way to prove that they were 'good Eldians' were to become weapons of the state. A false glory that shortened their life by thirteen years if they were lucky."

Bumblebee looked towards the faces of those kids, running out of breath as they ran with large backpacks on them.

"You probably could have done more to help them," Bumblebee retorted.

"It wasn't that simple," Megatron declared, "Not when the entire world hates Eldians and wanted them dead. My moves had to be calculated or Paradis would have fallen."

Bumblebee watched as there was chaos and fire at the military base. The woman, Pieck, had transformed into a titan to attack her enemy, while Megatron's holoform was on foot, running towards those four children. Bumblebee saw one with glasses sitting up and exposing himself.

“Keep your head down!” Megatron shouted at them, but it was too late. The sniper fired, the bullet flew past Pieck’s rampaging titan form, and ran through Udo’s head. Gabi watched in horror as Udo’s glasses flew off and his lifeless body hit the ground.

“UDO!” Gabi screamed as Megatron reached the dune and grabbed her before forcing her head down. Megatron finally managed to get a good look at the scene before him. Zofia had some shrapnel from the explosion that flew and hit her in the leg, and Falco was initially trying desperately to remove it and patch it up with what little he had. But both were distracted, staring in disbelief as blood pulled from Udo’s head.

“Udo?” Zofia could only breathe.

“No! No!” Falco yelled.

“UDO! GET UP!” Gabi screamed from her pinned position as she tried to reach for her dead friend.

"...I suppose I could have done more." Bumblebee looked up at Megatron, but the ex-con was looking away from the memory and him.

"...Are the others alive?" Megatron asked.

"What?" Bumblebee was confused at the question.

"Optimus, the Survey Corps, even the Marleyans, are they still alive?" Megatron demanded, facing Bumblebee, "Because I know that Lara is dead. What about the others?"

Before Bumblebee could respond, the memories changed into that of his own just moments before, with Ultra Magnus going over the names and faces that Jack had given him.

"Scrap, Bumblebee!" Ratchet yelled at him.

"It wasn't me!" Bumblebee hissed in the comm. link as Megatron approached the screen. He scanned the names of all the people in Jack's text and sighed in defeat.

"So Connie is dead, and Levi and Jean are in surgery," Megatron read the list before turning to Bumblebee, "Do you have a status on the ones in surgery?"

"Recovering, from what I've heard," Bumblebee replied.

Megatron didn't seem satisfied with the answer, but let it go for right now.

"...who's Lara?" Bumblebee asked, "Ratchet and Knockout said she wanted to talk to you in her last moments."

Megatron sighed in response as the memories changed. Bumblebee saw Megatron's holoform fighting with another woman. The ex-con was attacking the woman with a sword, while the woman was swinging a rather large hammer.

"Lara Tybur was apart of the Tybur Family. Holder of the War Hammer Titan, and sister to the head of the family: Willy Tybur," Megatron explained, "I had come into contact with the family by sheer accident, saving one of the children from a hostage situation on a train. Willy wanted to express gratitude by offering me a favor. I was going to that favor to escape from Marley in the event my identity had been compromised. But since I had the connection to the only Eldians that the world ever respected, I figured I could learn some useful information from them."

Bumblebee saw a memory of Willy talking and laughing with Megatron, although Megatron didn't seem too amused. "He asked me to train Lara. I learned as much as I could. He considered me a friend because I didn't laud him like the others, but I was still using him for my own gain. And Lara...developed feelings for my human persona."

"What?" Bumblebee's mouth dropped.

"NO WAY!" Smokescreen yelled.

"Oh my Primus, this is the best day of my life!" Knockout cackled.

"I need some of those rust sticks!" Bulkhead demanded.

"Please don't tell me you-!"

"By the Allspark, no!" Megatron yelled as the memory changed, before pointing at it.

“Ignore her, and ignore what I said that week,” Lara insisted.

“I think it needs to be addressed because it sounded like a confession,” Megatron declared.

“…it was stupid,” Lara admitted, “Just a silly crush, especially for someone like me with a shortened lifespan.”

“…Lara, I have no idea what you could possibly see in me,” Megatron told her bluntly, “But even if the shortened lifespan and my unwillingness to actually be in a committed relationship didn’t matter, you’re not my type.”

Lara seemed a little hurt by the proclamation. “I never had a chance to begin with.”

“You’re nice, but you’re…obedient and reserved,” Megatron told her, “I’d like someone who would challenge me.”

Lara huffed at that. “So much for hoping.”

Bumblebee could hear Knockout dying of laughter while he could hear someone gagging in the background. Meanwhile, the Warrior felt his face heat up in embarrassment. "This feels weird to watch."

"Regardless." Megatron regained his composure, "...I ended up saving the Tybur's life one more time. Maybe because I...felt something for them. I don't know."

Bumblebee watched Megatron's human form shove Willy off the stage before he was crushed by a giant hand. "I guess it helped that you didn't actually die."

"...I'm sure it devastated him when he learned the truth," Megatron proclaimed, "And Lara as well. But...in her final moments she seemed content, and died a warrior's death, earning the honor that her family had lied about for years."

"...So you have respect for Lara, but do you consider Willy a friend?" Bumblebee asked.

"...no," Megatron decided.

"You hesitated there," Bumblebee commented.

"I don't want to talk about it," Megatron declared.

"Wait, did he do something to make you upset?" Bumblebee asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Megatron repeated, but the memory was already changing...to that of a human party...and Megatron in a suit...dancing with a middle aged woman.

"WHAT IS THAT?!" Bumblebee and all the other Autobots screamed.

"No." Megatron ducked his helm in embarrassment.

"Why are you dancing?!" Bumblebee demanded, and he could've sworn he heard someone collapse on the other end of the call.

"It was for the mission!" Megatron declared.

"You're wooing a crowd!" Bumblebee gestured to another memory.

"Shut up!" Megatron yelled at him.

Meanwhile, outside of the Patch, Knockout was dying of laughter on the floor while Ratchet had passed out altogether. Smokescreen and Bulkhead were trying to wake him up, while Ultra Magnus looked like his processors had short circuited.

(So this might actually be multiple parts. There are quite a few memories to sort through anyway. So maybe there will be 2 more parts to this section of the New Age Anthology. We'll see.)

[metamorphosisff]

|Chapter 14| The Motions

My body felt heavy as I left Dr. Mitchell’s office and reentered the damp heat of August in the city. It’s been this way ever since I have been at odds with my father. We still haven’t talked since our argument last month. I had mixed feelings about the whole ordeal. Feelings I had yet to process much to the chagrin of Dr. Mitchell, which is why he tasked me with reaching out to my mother. I have inadvertently ignored her in the midst of this and it was not fair. She did not ask to be placed in the middle of our mess. In my mind though, I automatically put her on his side. Not once considering how our actions were affecting her until Dr. Mitchell pointed it out. By the time I rode the subway, walked to my building, showered, and redressed, I knew it was time to call her. 

Grabbing my phone, I plopped onto the couch where a stack of papers waited to be graded on the coffee table as soon as this conversation was over. Like always, she picked up on the second ring, her sienna face filling the camera from her perch on the kitchen island. Her glasses sat on the tip of her nose which let me know she was probably in the middle of doing work. As a personal accountant to a few executives in the finance district, she often brought home extra documents to comb through uninterrupted. We were alike in that way, always working, never quite comfortable with idle time or hands.

“Look who remembers he has a mother who is worried sick about him,” she teased, pushing her glasses further back onto her face.

Outside of a few sporadic texts which were mostly about Granddad, she hadn’t heard from me, so the barb as light as it is, was warranted. “I’m sorry about that. I just needed to clear my head.”

“And have you? It doesn’t look like it from what I can see. Have you been getting enough sleep Xavier?” she fired off, face leaning in closer as she observed me.

Ma has always had a sixth sense when it came to my moods. I don’t know how she did it but she knew when something was off with me. Usually before I even had the words to express so. There was not much I could keep a secret from her and I currently did not have the energy to try. 

“I sleep but it doesn’t really help with the kind of tiredness I’m experiencing. To answer your question, no, I haven’t cleared it yet. Well, in some ways I have and in others…I don’t have the energy to,” I shrugged. 

“Care to expound on that a bit?” she asked warmly. “It’s only me and your sister here, and she’s upstairs talking to her friends so you can be real with me. I’d like you to be real with me. I don’t like seeing you so out of sorts.”

Once again, Ma knew my concern without me having to verbally express it. Since she confirmed that I wouldn’t be overheard- potentially adding more fuel to the fire that flamed between Pops and I answered her question with no hesitation.

“I have come to the realization that I am never going to be good enough for Pops and I can’t force myself to be what he wants nor apparently, can I make him like me by being myself. So I think I’m done trying,” I said.

Maybe we weren’t supposed to have a close bond. Pops and I got along best when we stuck to neutral subjects like sports and Veronica’s shenanigans. Well that wasn’t entirely true. We shared a lot of the same interests and were more alike in our demeanor than either of us realized. There was a layer of something though in our foundations that made us appear to be oil and water. It appeared the moment I turned fourteen. Like a switch went off, Pops went from being my dad to my drill sergeant without any warning or notice. My first reaction to the switch was anger but over the years that has settled into what I’ve found to be is disappointment.

“Your father said something ugly in the heat of the moment but it wasn’t true. Even as he was saying it, I knew it wasn’t which is why I was shocked he told such a bold lie in an attempt to try and even the playing field with you. I had to remind him that there is no game to be won when our child is hurting. No points to be made. No puffing of the chest. Nuh uh, none of that,” she said, wagging her finger for emphasis.

Though glad that she had stood up for me, it did not change much for me. “He still said it though.”

“That he did.”

“That shit hurt. Like a lot. On top of all of the other stuff going on between us, that felt…,” I sighed, shaking my head. I was still having trouble trying to name the exact emotion that is evoked when I relive the argument. “It felt like something I don’t think I can bounce back from.”

“I can’t blame you for that. When I was around your age, my mother said something hurtful to me and I didn’t talk to her for months. Me and you are alike in that way. We need time to sit with situations and that time can range until the moment we feel like we can face it,” she said, which was true.

I didn’t know how to move past anything without over analyzing it. Especially when I was dealing with someone I loved. It was hard for me to set boundaries and even harder to enforce them but I can’t go on like this with Pops. I shouldn’t have to. 

“So I’m not going to convince you to speed that process up,” she continued, pulling me from my thoughts. “All I ask is that if your father approaches you in the interim to give him a chance. You and your sister are teaching him that the world is not the same as when he was a child. Change is scary but he’s learning though it doesn’t seem like it at the moment.”

“No it doesn’t,” I sighed out, squeezing the bridge of my own. “Pops always said a man stands on his word. So I’m taking his words for face value at the moment and if he is changing, then he’ll stand on that too, and we’ll be able to see it. Until then I’m going to keep my distance.”

Nodding her head, she said, “Like I said, I understand baby I do. That’s my piece on that. So let’s talk about this new girlfriend.”

A laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head. “She’s not my girlfriend Ma’.”

She was close though. So close to being everything. The thought both scared and excited me because it was new. I never had a woman fit so intrinsically into my life or heart. There were days I questioned if she was real because how had I been so lucky? Mila was my better half in every way that it mattered and in every way that it didn’t. What we had was rare.

“Not yet but soon by the way you're blushing over there. I can’t wait to meet her. You’ll excuse me if I say, I hope she’s nothing like that high string Miss Thing you were last with,” she said, refusing to say Mariah’s name.

I shook my head. “Nah, she is the complete opposite, trust me.”

“Let me refill this wine glass and then I want to hear all about her!” she says with a silly smile that makes me chuckle. 

As she gets up to head to the refrigerator, I make a mental note to check in on her more often. I may be at odds with Pops but Ma’ has always been one of my best friends. 

Having enough of my “bitch ass moping”, Aiden said he was taking me some place to get my mind off of things. Knowing that was code for hellish workout, I dressed ready for the gym, and called an Uber for the Williamsburg address he sent me. I could have taken the train but my attitude wasn’t ‘take the train’ ready. This past week I have not been able to distract myself enough from the issues with my father. The minor incident I had with Granddad the other night had only worsened my mood as he overheard me on the phone with his doctors and launched into a two hour lecture on how he didn’t need any more check ups or anybody meddling in his affairs. Whatever Aiden had up his sleeve, I hoped it was enough to tire me out to the point where I’ll be too exhausted to overthink. 

It only took me thirty minutes to pull up to what seemed to be a converted warehouse. Converted to what remained to be the question. I could not tell by the crowd filtering in and out of the large building that sat on a dead end street across from another converted warehouse that was used for indoor paintball. It took a few seconds but eventually I spotted both Aiden and Rah standing not too far from the entrance.

“Ayo,” I called out, catching both of their attention as I strolled up. “What is this place?”

Rah snickered and shook his head. “Let me pull my camera up. This is about to be good,” he says in lieu of greeting and answering the question.

I turn my gaze to a mischievous looking Aiden. “What exactly does he mean by that?”

“You know he's just dramatic,” Aiden says with a wave of his hand. “But to answer your question, remember when we talked about participating in amateur boxing matches?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose already knowing where this was headed. “Vaguely.”

“Great so you do remember. Anyway I signed you up and you're slotted to fight in an hour. I got everything with me so don’t even trip,” Aiden said.

“You signed me up for a boxing match and didn’t think it would be a good idea to give me more than five seconds notice?” I asked, with a raised brow.

“Yes. We haven’t been in the gym doing drills for nothing. Now, let's go,” Aiden said, walking towards the door.

I stared at his back incredulously as Rah zoomed in on my face. “I hope all that practice wasn’t for nothing,” Rah laughs.

“After I win this fight, I’m beating both of y’all asses. Both,” I said, pushing his phone out of my face so that I could follow behind Aiden.

“Not it’s fuck 50,” Rah cracked beside me.

“It definitely is. You know this is wild,” I said with a shake of my head.

“Eh it’s better than what he initially planned. I was able to talk him down to this,” Rah said with a shrug. 

“That is…oddly comforting.”

“I thought it might be.”

In the hour before the fight, we are placed into a small room with just enough space for me to change into shorts and my shoes. Aiden wraps my hands and leads me through a few warm ups that gets my blood pumping. There’s a sharp knock on the door followed by a deep voice shouting, “We need Taylor upstairs in five!”

“We're leaving right now,” Aiden yelled back before turning to face me. “You got this shit bro. Use all that anger you keep inside, let that shit out, and win some money in the process.”

“Money? Is this legal?” I asked.

“Legal-ish.”

I don’t have time to curse Aiden out because we’re being called again and the man magically sounds even less impatient than he did thirty seconds ago. Within the next few minutes I’m ushered upstairs where a boxing ring has been set up in the middle. The crowd is thick in attendance and the workers have to lead us ring side as a Meek Mill song blasts from above. My opponent is reaching the ring the same time as me and I instantly start picking out our differences. I take note of his height and build, which hand he uses while he talks, and how he shuffles his feet in constant motion. This is supposed to be an amateur fight but it’s clear to me that he is a bit seasoned.

“Don’t let that nigga’s size fool you into think he’s better,” Rah says, appearing out of nowhere with a towel draped over his shoulder. Apparently while we had been downstairs, he had been up here getting the corner ready with supplies. “His name is Chris but he is known as C Knock-Out. That changes tonight.”

“Rah right. Niggas his sized get beat up everyday. This just another day,” Aiden said.

“Got it,” I said as he popped in my mouth guard. 

There wasn’t time for any more conversation because things were underway with the flashing of the lights. In what seemed like instantly, we were given the rules and expectations of the match. There would only be three, two minute rounds and any dirty moves would result in points being taken away or automatic forfeit. After that we were touching gloves and a bell was sounded.

Chris wasted no time in charging at me, his style of fighting was aggressive but his movements were clumsy. I was able to tire him out in the first round but it cost me a few body shots. We’re both feeling each other out because my hits are surprising him with how close they land to his face. To his ribs. The last jab I send to the latter area wakes him up. I can see the moment he realizes this won’t be an easy fight and he locks in. I spent the last twenty seconds of the second round dodging a flurry of punches, two of which connect to my jaw and send my head snapping back. I duck the follow up punch with just enough time before the bell us rung again sending us back to our corners.

Aiden is pulling out my mouth piece and I’m not surprised to see it filled with blood. Rah gives me water which I use to rinse my mouth out some.

“He mad now. He getting sloppy. He gon’ give you a window of opportunity, use that shit big dawg,” Aiden coaches, slapping my shoulder.

Rah tossed me a look.

“What?”

“Stop holding back your punches. Rock that nigga.”

I nod my head and with that, I’m ready to go back out. 

Like the two times before, Chris charges at me but isn’t prepared for me to charge back. We met in the middle and instantly began to search for openings. He lands a punch to my arm that sends me a few steps back.

“You know I’m putting that ass to sleep right?” Chris taunts.

“We’ll see about that.”

He starts sending punches to my ribs again and one of them causes me to bite back a groan. The muffled sound I do make is enough for him to sense a weakness. He continues his onslaught of punches but I don’t make it easy as I take him around the ring. I’m quicker on my feet than he is, something that he has yet to take notice of. He relies on his arms being longer so much that it has become a disadvantage. The moment he rushes to close the gap between us I send a right hook to his jaw and follow it up with my left. The shock of the punches causes him to stumble and that gives me the leverage to continue my assault. Like instructed, I use all of the anger that has been flowing in the undercurrent of my being behind my punches. Every stressful conversation, argument, and lost memory pours out of me until the bell rings and we’re being separated. I don’t knock him out but by the end of this final round only one of us is leaning and it isn’t me. 

It doesn’t register to me that I won until Aiden picks me up. The crowd is cheering and the energy is electric. Chris and I slap hands, him with a promise to see me again but he won’t. As much fun as this was, I think I prefer using boxing a method to clear my head, not as my livelihood. I didn’t need to take a spot from someone who really wanted this life. All I wanted was a distraction and Aiden, as backwards as his methods are, came through. I don’t know if it’s from winning or burning off some of the dark energy I had been carrying around but I feel lighter.

I’m riding this high as I go downstairs to change into my regular clothes. I have a busted lip and what I’m sure are fractured ribs but I feel amazing. Until I get around to checking my phone that is. My screen is filled with notifications and when I unlock it, I have five missed calls and thirty six texts. 

All from Mila.

[desolateice]

 Headcannon time:

When writing Root Beer Floats and Green Tea I had this genre I wanted to take a crack at which was, dating games. I wanted to have hints at all these other possible routes laid out that I would eventually get to. Which with the cobras was easy but when I got to the second film I tried to figure out how I was going to deal with Chozen. And as I watched the second film very very very slowly I realized how short the timeline was and to my amusement how many costume changes happened in essentially a few days time that made time wonky the way it always is in The Karate Kid universe I tried to figure out why. Why would Chozen, who wears Okinawan formal wear all the time and is upset about Daniel, an outsider being there, be trashing a dojo where his uncle learned karate? Would would he be digging up vegetables and destroying bonsai so readily for his uncle? And the answer I came up with was grief. One of the threads that continues to pull through all the films is grief and how we deal with it. It really cemented as a head cannon when I watched the fourth film, which I did want to include and originally planned to include in Root Beer Floats and Green Tea, however at that point the story was already massive and I was grieving myself and so what ended up happening was hints.

But in the Next Karate Kid, for those who haven’t seen it, Julie Pierce is being raised by her grandmother and she’s angry all the time. Snapping and rude and her grandmother keeps mistaking her for her dead daughter. And I realized while I was watching it again for the first time since I was little, that Julie is grieving. But it’s not a quiet sob in a corner type of grief, it’s an explosive angry grief where sometimes she says things she doesn’t mean and she doesn’t know what to do and she’s lost. And I looked at Chozen, living in a small village on Okinawa whose uncle taught karate, without any parents seemingly being raised by a somewhat distant unhappy uncle (at the time the new season hadn’t come out to confirm that). And the guy who left the village and upset his uncle returns right when the man who taught his uncle is sick and shortly after passes. And I thought oh, there’s no way Chozen doesn’t know Miyagi Sensei. And if you’ve ever lived in a small community and a person dies it tends to effect people. But Chozen isn’t just some village kid. His uncle was supposed to marry Yukie, the person taking care of Miyagi sensei. His uncle was taught by Miyagi sensei, was best friends with Miyagi sensei’s son once upon a time. There’s no way Chozen didn’t know Miyagi sensei better than just the average person in the village. So maybe he’s angry on behalf of his uncle. But what if he’s also angry on behalf of Miyagi sensei, whose son didn’t come home until he was on his death bed? That, to a kid who knew Miyagi sensei and respected him would feel extra cowardly. A level of cowardly that just confirmed and sealed everything his uncle believed. I mean okay the uncle jumps straight to fight to the death, but I mean people used to fight to the death over honor all the time and for dumb reasons. (See Hamilton, The Count of Monte Cristo, countless times throughout history, ect.) But the for all of those is that you usually had an out. A second or someone who could go talk to the other party and try and figure out a solution that didn’t end up in bloodshed. And I truly like to think that the original fall out could’ve been avoided. But Mr. Miyagi was a kid. He was what? 18? The love of his life was going to be married off to his best friend and he panicked? A duel of sorts is kind of a...normal thing for embarrassment of that level. But surely someone could’ve talked it out, come to an agreement of sorts. But from how Mr. Miyagi talks about it, he just ran off. Which I totally get. You don’t want to kill your best friend, you don’t want to even fight your best friend and you don’t want your death to be on his hands either so your best option is to flee. I mean he was 18. (ish) He hadn’t gained all that Miyagi wisdom. But to never contact your family? To never write your dad again? To not say hey pops I fell in love, we’re getting married, we have a kid. Well he probably couldn’t have actually because during the war I’m sure there was a lot of scrutiny on him for being Okinawan and if he wrote home who knows what would’ve happened? And it sucks. But to have never contacted his father again later? After the war? To never even sort of wonder, did my village survive the war? Did my father? Heck, what happened to his mother? Did he miss saying goodbye to her? Did she pass before he left? Anyway, I went on a tangent, let’s go back to Chozen and I’ll set my Mr. Miyagi and Sato and Yukie feelings aside for the moment. (There are so many!) Chozen is close(ish) to Miyagi Sensei. Just through his connections. It’s one degree separation at most. Not just some dude in the village, a small village, that everyone knows. But someone from stories he’s grown up his entire life with. And then he dies. Chozen already isn’t particularly popular right? Because of his uncle? I assume he’s already a grumpy kid. And then Mr. Miyagi has the gall to return and bring some American kid with him? Mind you, America and Okinawa have a rough history, heck the USA occupies a ridiculous amount of the island still. I know, Sato teaches American soldiers, but I assume based off of how Chozen interacts with Daniel in CK that they didn’t teach Miyagi secrets. But to pass on the knowledge to an outsider? And it could also be construed as Mr. Miyagi brought back up. Like some mob boss returning from the USA. We know Daniel’s not there for that, but Chozen and them know nothing about Daniel and his relationship with Mr. Miyagi.  Heck they don’t know what Mr. Miyagi has been up to. And then Miyagi sensei dies. So all that tension, all that “I’m gonna fight you you coward” that Sato’s been fanning these flames of and Chozen is just lost and confused and grieving. Because here’s the thing, what if they were close? Instead of getting to spend time at Miyagi sensei’s death bed he’s got to be out of the way because Yukie is in charge and Mr. Miyagi is there. So he got shoo’d out by this guy who hasn’t been there for 40 years and his American student. Oh he’d be pissed. Heart broken and pissed and it’s so easy to be pissed when you’re grieving. And he’s not mad at Miyagi sensei no, he directs that anger at Mr. Miyagi and Daniel. Outsiders who came, who weren’t there when they should’ve been, and who brought death. Even if it wasn’t their fault at all. But he’s throwing it on them. And he’s backed up by Sato, who probably is also grieving, but that’s a different post. And then Daniel keeps making a fool of him. Poking holes in his scam, winning the bet with the ice, and it’s like salt in a wound. And he’s looking bad in front of his uncle. Who is his only family and all those emotions. Oof. Trying to keep his uncle proud of him and not letting that angry grief his uncle is feeling turn on him? And then his uncle he think dies in a storm and he’s just so lost. Like he’s lost everything. And he’s scared. Because I mean CK cannon, his parents are gone. All he has is his uncle. And he’s filled with so much grief that he’s just frozen because it’s stunning to have lost both Miyagi sensei and his uncle in such a short time. But then Daniel is out there, going into the storm saving people. Being a hero. And so is Mr. Miyagi. Proving Sato and Chozen wrong. They’re not cowards, they’re heroes and they’re brave. And the final straw is his uncle being alive and saved and rather than a reunion or a hug which I think he desperately needed because I doubt they’ve talked or worked through their individual grief, Chozen is cast out. All he has left that he is clinging very tightly to is fighting to the death, something I think got skewed terribly in his mind as the only option after hearing about it his entire life and it being Sato’s primary goal for the film. Because if he wins his uncle will see him again, if he looses, well his uncle will still see him. Because his uncle hasn’t seen him the entire film.

He’s not really family, he’s a lackey, a yes man, and he’s now a ghost. And it’s not like he has anyone else to go to. As Sato’s yes man he was already sort of not liked and then Miyagi Sensei is gone and he’s hurting  and that makes you do dumb stuff. And I think he’s self destructive. He’s got all this anger and nowhere to direct it so he picks a choice. The story he’s heard over and over again. The fight that was supposed to happen but never did and that will solve everything. Sato versus Mr. Miyagi. But instead it’ll be Chozen versus Daniel. If he wins then he was right. If he loses then, he won’t be in pain any more. And maybe he’ll see Miyagi sensei again. But either way he won’t be a ghost. He’ll be able to move forward again in a straight line.

And I think Daniel showing him mercy in a playful way like Mr. Miyagi shocks him to his core. It’s an option he hadn’t thought of. He hadn’t thought he deserved mercy. He probably was looking for someone to punish him for not being there when the people he loved needed him, his uncle in the shrine, Miyagi sensei at his deathbed. And instead he’s allowed to live and no longer is a ghost. He’s been freed and his uncle isn’t the same as he was, and I like to think that they’re made the better for it. That they figure out how to grieve and grow and how to make things for the village and island better. Because they’re no longer in pain and full of hatred. And Chozen might get the chance to be his own person and not just a yes man, because he’s finally seen and no longer a ghost. TLDR: I view Chozen’s entire actions of the second movie propelled by grief stuck in the stage of anger and denial. That he was close to Miyagi sensei and blocked from being by his side at his death and it propels him to self destructive and projection.

[catch-the-wind]

when reader is sick hc's

finally posting writing here so true

n e ways okay so i’m brainrotting about the genshin charas taking care of their s/o’s when they’re sick 🥺 and now i'm feeling sick, sigh

ohm and sulien ambros belong to @teyvattherapist! they're such good chara's, i know i'm writing them here but i deffo recommend reading up on them

okay here u go, have some hc's that are kinda sorta long and by that i mean 2.5k- i haven't proofread this bc it's 4am and im going to BED but if i write for any other chara's i'll post a second part <3 mwah

tags: gn!reader, diluc x reader, kaeya x reader, jean x reader, lisa x reader, albedo x reader, dainsleif x reader, tartaglia x reader, ohm ambros x reader, sulien ambros x reader, soft bean hours

diluc

is not working or traveling when his partner is sick

absolutely makes them soup and hot tea and drinks

he’s trying to make them food but he’s not the best cook so he’s asking adelinde for help

absolutely asks jean, barbara, and ohm for help while his partner is sleeping but he’s so awkward LMAO

was absolutely frantic the first day he found out his partner was sick tho, he made them come over to the winery so they could sleep there and he can take care of them <3

absolutely lied about what room was his so they slept in his bed

“hmm this guest room is so furnished diluc are all your rooms like this” and no, no they are not, this room is his, bestie

diluc slept on a sofa in his bedroom and did work on the table that was supposed to be for flowers. kinda stressed over abyss order locations but was more worried ab his partner being okay so he was distracted

he just put the flowers on his nightstand for his partner to see when they woke up <3

gives his partner forehead kisses because they won’t let him kiss them on the lips and he gives them the gentlest cheek kisses while they sleep

also gives his partner his clothes to wear <3

cuddles them and reads to them when they’re awake and TEMPLE KISSES OH MY GOD

kaeya comes over because he’s worried his brother and his brother’s s/o haven’t been seen in a little while

n e way, diluc gets sick after his partner gets better and they nursed each other back to health

kaeya

like diluc, he took off work so he could take care of his s/o i,mediately after he found out they were sick

wouldn’t force them to stay at his place tho, he’d probably let them recover in their own place

but he might make them go to the kof hq or the cathedral just so they can be taken care of by a proper healer

he absolutely soothes their fevers and stuff w cryo and also the man can heal himself w his elem skill ofc he can fix someone if he tries hard enough <3

he gives kisses no matter how much his partner says not to but he’ll also give them butterfly kisses so it’s soft moments too~ sigh, ur too cute alberich

asks ohm and barbara and albedo and lisa for potions and such to help his partner feel better but he’s really lowkey so he doesn’t seem SUPER worried

he just hates seeing his partner not feeling so well </3

refreshes his partner’s vase of flowers at their bedside every day

brings home work so he can watch over his partner. he can’t cook super well either so he asks for help and brings stuff home from good hunter too

jean was okay to let kaeya off of work and diluc would never admit it (man practically swore everyone to secrecy smh) but he helped take up some of kaeya’s duties in his stead

and kae, the alcoholic, didn’t even drink while his partner was sick bc he was lowkey worried they would need his help w smth and he didn’t want to be drunk just in case <3

many cuddles despite protests of getting him sick <3

jean

absolutely uses her healer skills to make her partner feel better

panicked when they were still sick and thought it was her fault </3 she asked barbara and ohm for help and they just told jean to relax a bit bc her partner was sick and it wasn’t going to be a quick fix

wanted to take off work but didn’t, so she just brought her work with her

kaeya and ohm very kindly took up her other duties where she had to leave so she could be w her partner

her partner is staying in the kof hq where they get access to ohm and barbara comes to visit <3 but also so that jean can sleep comfortably enough close by bc you cannot tell me this woman does not sometimes sleep in her office or the library and barely makes it to the kof dormitories sometimes

she’s so worried the entire time, she’s probably got a few gray hairs and a new frown line smh

she has clothes that aren’t her work clothes???? it’s so foreign seeing her in stuff like pajamas. you didn’t even know jean owned pajamas

jean sets them up in her bed at home (yeah she has a place outside of the kof hq??? it’s surprising) but it’s a big bed so they can rest and she’ll have the lamp on her side on while she sits up and does work

absolutely dotes on them. she’s good at making foods that make them feel better, she’s just a good healer that way <3

albedo, klee, venti, kaeya, lisa, and ohm all come over to check on jean and co and make sure everyone is doing okay <3 lots of food brought

if jean was asked to sing to her partner normally, she probably wouldn’t bc she’d probably get embarrassed but i think she probably sounds v good and venti would give her his lyre to try out a musical instrument too. but also she’d read to her partner and they’d probably fall asleep together uwu

lisa

works part time hours at the library so she can go visit her s/o

probably asks them to stay at the kof hq for easier access to medical assistance and plus she’s almost always there

“cutie” but worried and very 🥺 (pleading emoji)

makes soup and potions and reads to her partner until they fall asleep

also super playful omg she’s still got a smile on and is full of affection while she walks her fingers up her partner’s arm to their face so she can cup their cheek

she’ll make her partner laugh and smile and blush even when they’re sick, but she makes them laugh until they cough sometimes and immediately feels so bad

jean, barbara, kaeya, albedo and ohm all come to visit with different foods and soups and medicines and such

klee comes knocking and gives lisa some good fisherman’s toast and asks lisa’s s/o if they want to hug dodoco b/c that always makes klee feel better

purple roses galore, lisa has them in her partner’s room and they’ve got a potion to make the. uh. sniffer? to make the sniffer feel better. don’t ask me how, idk but she would find a way to make them physically feel better with flowers

reads to her partner ofc, and she tells them stories ab her own life and time at sumeru sans the crazies

worried looks when her s/o is sleeping but also the softest smiles when they wake up pls-

albedo

cutest lil frown on his face when he finds out his partner is sick

immediately they are taken home and he’s testing to confirm what’s wrong w them and what he can do to speed up their recovery

he’s more distracted than usual at work but he’s coming over to your place all the time w what paperwork he can do

also sketches his partner while they don’t know. he’s got lots of beautiful candids of his partner sleeping, looking out the window, falling asleep, reading, even drinking water. he’s made the most mundane things look captivating

kaeya and ohm come to check on albedo when he doesn’t show up for work after a few days and it’s bc he’s taking care of his s/o with food and soup and alchemical potions and shit. and when kae and ohm come in, they find his partner opening the door wrapped in a blanket while albedo is asleep cuddling the pillow they left bc he stayed up the night before making soup and reading to them

klee has camped out on his partner’s couch, she helps w the cooking too~ she absolutely lets them hug dodoco and gives them a treasure to feel better too LOL

many kisses from klee and albedo, and they also go out to get treats for albedo’s partner too

domestic albedo cooking in his partner’s kitchen and for once it isn’t some alchemical potion that he might blow up the stove with

tartaglia

takes off work entirely but BOY OH BOY is he stir crazy smh

brings his partner to his apartment to rest <3

he’s so worried ab his s/o that he makes all the sick ppl food the first day, orders from wanmin restaurant when his partner wants smth different, and also gets toys and such to entertain them otherwise

also reads to his partner but, again, he gets stir crazy after a while

absolutely does workouts and katas in the living room and phew shirtless tartaglia working out? gets the heart rate up for sure ahem

rushes to his partner tho omg- need soup? water? a trip to the bathroom? another blanket? he goes to them the MOMENT he hears them moving around. absolutely dotes on them <3

his family knows ab his partner and he’s probably written letters ab them being sick~ his family sent snezhnayan herbs and flowers and medicines and such

zhongli comes around because he wants sugar daddy!tartaglia with tea and medicine from bubu pharmacy. hu tao is in tow with well wishes and a “hope i don’t find you at work!” which is. a little worrying because aren’t you just a little sick-

many kisses from tartaglia because he is Needy and he’ll absolutely get sick from cuddling his partner while they sleep

also he’ll probably just like. envelop his partner while they sleep. they’re all cuddled into him and he’s actually so warm it’s nice bc they’re cold w a fever and he’s living for comforting them

he’s so worried tho, he’s got the frowny face and he’s so adorable but he just doesn’t want his partner to feel sick

dainsleif

the man camps in ruins, he’s going to his partner’s house smh

he doesn’t go into the church either LOL so expect him in his partner’s home making dinner and doing their grocery shopping thanks

he would get ohm and barbara to come over tho <3 “fix them please” but also “how can i fix them”

is so dead set on making sure his partner takes their medicine at the right times, he’s so soft for them and them alone

cooks soup and old recipes he barely remembers from khaenri’ah. he doesn’t really get sick, so he doesn’t remember these ones too clearly. deffo brings back old memories he’d long forgotten

reads to his partner and tells them old stories of how the world used to be, his travels, gives them the gossip on a certain khaenri’ahn but doesn’t give away the name

ohm comes over with medicine and lollipops bc dain is so unlikely to go to the cathedral to get barbara smh

but also dain, so self-sufficient, is unlikely to want to ask for help, so ohm just goes to help anyway

dain with the old khaenri’ahn lullabies and tucking his partner into his arms and singing quietly while he holds them and rocks them to sleep

dain is immortal, he’s giving his partner kisses bc “i’m immortal, ofc i won’t get sick”

he got sick

but his s/o nursed him back to health and then there were smooches the end

ohm ambros

the doctor with his ill lover oh my god

he’s frowny, he’s taking care of his partner at his home in springvale and his home clinic is open to everyone else. but everyone knows his partner is the first priority LOL

kaeya and albedo come over to see if ohm is okay or if his house needs to be checked up on. they’re wondering if he went on a last-minute expedition to sumeru and didnt tell them

diluc comes over too, he’s just checking up on his best friend but he’s also stealing a cherry lollipop smh. he heard from kae that ohm’s partner is sick tho, so he brings some soup and good food over from adelinde. he also brings some of his own specialty food tho, the once upon a time in mondstadt <3

sulien sending letters to his big brother to see if his brother’s s/o is okay

ohm is also just super protective of his partner, there are not many people who come into his life who he loves and lets in in the first place. he’s absolutely trying to heal them with his own vitality, so their recovery is much shorter than initially expected

barbara also comes over w jean to check up on ohm and co, complete w a goody basket of soup, a teddy bear, flowers, and books

ohm reading to his partner <3 he’s got such a soothing voice even if his accent is wack LMAO. he’s reading stories and even his paperwork because just his presence is comforting

he puts his hands on his partner’s forehead to soothe the fever goodbye

ohm will not sing for his s/o simply bc he doesn’t think he sounds v good. and he probably doesn’t but it would be so cute to hear him try and please ohm? 🥺

n e way i want smooches idc if i’m sick KISS ME OHM AMBROS

sulien ambros

when he finds out his partner is sick, the man blinks like twice and then suggests so calmly that they go to his apartment in liyue

man does not sleep normally, he’s just going to nurse his partner back to health and read during their recovery. fruit tart can cover his duties for him <3

sulien cooks for his partner tho, he’s making soup and stuff and getting medicine from bubu’s pharmacy. he’s also picking up books on the way home but some of them are to be read to his partner so it’s okay-

like tartaglia, sulien works out while his partner rests and goes to them if he hears them moving around. he’s reading to his partner and not so frowny, but the slightest furrow of this man’s brow is already such a big expression of his concern <3

sends letters to ohm asking for advice ab how to help his partner feel better. ohm just sends a letter back with “i’m coming” and shows up within the day LMAO

reads to his partner, and the monotony of his voice is soothing and lulls them to sleep. he just looks at them affectionately (well affectionate for him) and presses a kiss to their forehead before finishing the story on his own and in his head

tartagalicious comes over and brings food, flowers and a teddy bear with some of sandrone’s paperwork but he sends a smile to sulien’s partner with some well wishes

scara comes over too just to visit and check to see where sandrone is, but scara is a grumpy bean so he just says “feel better” all brooding and like it’s a command to one of the fatui subordinates LOL

sulien like ohm uses his cold hands to soothe his partner’s fever and also gives them forehead kisses <3

Edit: a link to part 2

[tendouluvr]

not telling them you’re pregnant - f!reader

- fluff, sliiiight angst maybe

- characters: suna, sakusa, semi

- warnings: pregnancy (i don’t go into detail of giving birth or anything), cravings, morning sickness aka throwing up, two mention of the act of sex in semi’s, some cursing

- wc: 1.4k, 888, 946

a/n: it’s f!reader cuz pregnancy but there’s no specific pronouns/gendered terms used

also idk how suna got so long, he was the last one i wrote for bc i couldnt think of anything lmao

[2. iwaizumi, atsumu, kageyama]

SUNA

#! suna has been practicing late into the night the past few weeks

#! there’s a big game coming up and the entire team is feeling the pressure and adrenaline from the crunch time

#! you haven’t been feeling too good lately, a lot heavier and more tired than usual

#! thinking it was just stress from work and the missing presence of your boyfriend, you pushed through it and thought it would go away in the next few days

#! unfortunately, luck wasn’t on your side and you started to get sudden needs to throw up

#! it didn’t take you long to realize why your physical and mental drive have been down lately

#! you’re pregnant

#! or you believe you are

#! you bought a few tests, some of different brands so you can have a variety, and headed home to confirm your suspicion

#! a few minutes later, staring back at you was multiple positive symbols and the bolded ‘PREGNANT’s

#! taking a few deep breaths, you decided to tell suna tonight once he comes home

#! you thought it was better to let him know as soon as possible

#! it wouldn’t hurt anyone plus the faster you rip the bandaid off, the easier it’ll be to deal with it

#! so you waited

#! and waited

#! until 11pm that night, when suna finally came through the front door

#! “tarō! how was practice? can we talk?” you hurriedly greeted him

#! he was taken aback, not expecting you to be right beside him and in his ear as soon as he came in

#! of course you weren’t, you made sure to put some space in between you and him

#! but suna was stressed and tired, so everything is intensified to him at the moment

#! “can you back up?” he mumbled, pushing his way from in front of you to walk to the kitchen

#! “oh, sorry. can we talk?” you sheepishly smiled, hoping he would say yes

#! you’re not blind, you can tell that suna was tired but you really didn’t wanna put this off

#! you were just gonna tell him, he gets surprised, you both talk it out, and then go to bed and continue figuring things out tomorrow morning

#! but before any of that can happen, suna bluntly told you, “no. i’m tired. i’m sure whatever it is isn’t a big deal. can it be tomorrow? i wanna sleep.”

#! you didn’t get to answer before he was already walking away to the bedroom

#! understanding where he was coming from, you mentally agreed to talk to him tomorrow. one day wouldn’t change anything and you’ve seen plenty of people not tell their partners until a few weeks in

#! he was right, it wasn’t a big deal (yet)

#! so you waited until tomorrow

#! and waited

#! and once again, he came home late

#! “hey! can we quickly talk, babe?”

#! “i’m tired. tomorrow, okay?”

#! “oh, okay. night, rin!”

#! “g’night.”

#! night came and there was still no talk

#! this continued on for about 2 weeks, you finally choosing to not care anymore and just let him find out whenever he finds out

#! technically, you could’ve just blurted out a simple, “i’m pregnant.” any point during your nightly five seconds conversations

#! but seeing that he really was tired, springing it onto him would either put him in a full body shock for three days or he just doesn’t fully process your words until three days after

#! a month has passed, your stomach was still barely showing like most women at their one month mark

#! you decided to book an appointment for a checkup, it’ll be while suna’s at practice

#! and that doctor appointment was the exact reason suna found out

#! he was at practice when komori entered the gym

#! he had a doctor’s appointment for his annual checkup, and that’s where he saw you

#! you didn’t see komori, busy reading the directory to find your way to the right office

#! but he saw you on the way out. seeing that you looked a bit busy, he chose not to greet you and just quickly walk to his car lmao why is this funny to me

#! entering the gym, he greeted everyone and apologized for his tardiness even though it was excused

#! walking up to suna, he tapped him on the shoulder and quietly told him, “i saw yn at the hospital earlier. it’s been awhile since we all got together huh, they looked a bit different.”

#! ok so komori, being the smart person he is, deducted that you were pregnant when he saw your finger pointing at the ob/gyn office

#! and he genuinely thought suna knew so his comment was suppose to be a small joke that was meant to tease suna and his sex life

#! suna, however, was confused

#! look different? did you get surgery?

#! “what do you mean?”

#! komori rolled his eyes and gave a sweet smile at suna, “congrats you two! when were you gonna tell the rest of us?”

#! suna: 👨‍🦲 huh

#! “are you guys not pregnant?” he blinked at suna’s frozen reaction

#! suna became unresponsive so komori just walked away mumbling to himself about being sure he read the sign right

#! a loud whistle blew and it shook suna out of his daze, everyone got ready to play a practice game of 3 vs 3 while suna ran over to the coach

#! “hey coach, um i think there’s an emergency at home. can i go? ok thanks.”

#! his coach just stares after him as he sprints off, you think? is there an emergency or not?

#! suna quickly drove home, he may or may not have speed a little, and entered the apartment

#! “yn? baby?” he called out only to be greeted back with silence

#! probably still at the hospital....what were you doing there? he thought to himself while rummaging around the house to find anything that could give him somewhat of an idea

#! he was digging around in the bedroom when you came home, his head so frenzied he didn’t hear the front door open

#! but you heard the ruckus from the bedroom and immediately went into fight or flight

#! panicking, you took out your phone to call suna while quietly opening the front door to make your way back out before the intruder catches you

#! the phone rang and rang until it was picked up. “suna?” you whisper-yelled into the speaker. you had a habit of calling him by his last name when you were freaking out. he noticed and was equally alarmed

#! “what’s wrong?” he whispered back just as panicked

#! “there’s someone in our apartment. can you come home?”

#! “huh? oh, are you home?” he cackles into the phone speaker making you move the phone away from your ear, “it’s me, sweets, c’mere.”

#! you warily walked on your tiptoes over to your bedroom, peeking your head in and what a surprise, it is suna

#! “jackass! why are you home?!”

#! “why didn’t you tell me?” he cut straight to the point

#! “huh?”

#! “you’re pregnant. when were you gonna tell me?” his voice sounding stern, but the quiet smile dancing on his face tells a different story

#! “i tried.”

#! “huh? what do you mean?”

#! “all those times i asked if we could talk. i was trying to tell you.”

#! his heart dropped, eyebrows furrowing, while he stared you down

#! suna became unresponsive once again, standing there trying to think back to the first time you asked him

#! two weeks ago

#! “i’m sorry,” he quietly whispers

#! “hm? i..it’s fine....i was a bit sad, but i’m over it. at least you know now,” you casually shrugged it off like it wasn’t a big deal

#! “no. i shouldn’t have pushed you aside like that. even if you weren’t pregnant, even if you had just wanted to tell me about some stupid video you saw that day, i shouldn’t have told you off. i’m sorry, i love you a lot and you deserve so much better.”

#! “tarō, shut up. i accept your apology and i forgive you, now make it up to me by giving me a back massage while i show you the ultrasound pictures!”

#! he kisses you before lifting you up bridal style making his way to the bed

SAKUSA

#! contrary to popular beliefs, sakusa is not an obsessive germaphobe who finds everything disgusting but you

#! he wouldn’t be playing volleyball if he was that afraid of germs,,,,,

#! yes, he cringes if random little kids grab onto him after games because 1) he’s drenched in sweat and that feeling is not fun

#! 2) he doesn’t even know themmm

#! and 3) he wanna go home

#! but sakusa loves you and if you happened to get pregnant, he would love your kid(s) just the same

#! however, he never told you this. he never really had a reason to voice this out loud

#! so when you actually did get pregnant, you were confused

#! the only interactions between sakusa and kids you’ve seen multiple times were the moments between him and his fans

#! you guys have been to family parties and his nieces, nephews, and cousins looooves him

#! maybe it’s the fact that he’s a tall looming giant and they just want to climb

#! but besides those moments, you don’t recall him ever telling you upfront that he wants children of his own

#! and the constant stress and pressure he always seem to be working around also doesn’t help reassure you in any way

#! being an athlete for a living means always watching your body, health, and looks for the cameras (but omi could care less about the last thing)

#! he also has to make sure whether or not he’s working well with his teammates, practice and improve on anything he’s having problems with, and deal with atsumu’s dramatic ass

#! you’re an overthinker and because of that, all of these reasons were just reasons for you to postpone the pregnancy news to your long term boyfriend

#! it wasn’t too hard anyway, considering practice runs late sometimes and he’s busy majority of the time doing other stuff

#! when you guys do have alone time together, you both are so focused on one another that you actually forget that you’re pregnant and you never told him

#! you’re about to hit the three months mark now — time goes by fast — and sakusa has noticed you and your body changing

#! at first he just thought you were going through a phase of cravings and a bit of bloating, so he didn’t mention it and just let you be

#! he never got to witness you getting morning sickness because he goes on early runs or he was just out doing morning errands so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later that day

#! so when he caught you in the kitchen cutting up a lemon, the last thing he was expecting you to do was bring the lemon directly up to your mouth

#! “uh, what are you doing?” his deep voice caught you off guard, effectively stopping the hand that was holding the lemon

#! you just stare at him, not wide-eyed, not surprised, just stare

#! “eating a lemon.”

#! “i can see that.... why exactly?”

#! “dunno, the baby i guess.” you casually shrugged it off before popping the lemon slice into your mouth

#! “ah-,” he opened his mouth to stop you from eating the lemon, your words not fully processing in his mind, but cut off midway and froze when he finally realized

#! hearing him pause like that made you suddenly remembered that you never told him you were pregnant

#! you slowly turned back to look at him, mouth still slowly chewing the lemon slices

#! a moment of silence later, he unfreezes and just starts stiffly walking towards you

#! he grabbed you by the shoulders, made you look him in the eyes, before whispering, “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “y-yes..”

#! his eyes were wide, black pupils expanding as he stared you down, his lips slowly curving into a small smile

#! “you’re pregnant....,” he whispers, mainly to himself, hugging your head into his chest

#! “mhm, get off me i’m trying to eat,” you gently pushed him off but he wouldn’t budge

#! “omiiii please, if you get off i’ll give you a slice,” you tried bribing him. he couldn’t tell if you were being serious or just teasing

#! “no.”

#! “um ok, two slices?”

#! “no.”

#! “omi!”

#! he giggles before opening his arms to let you go

#! “why didn’t you tell me?”

#! you didn’t reply right away, making him start to overthink

#! did you not want the baby? or did you not want a kid with him? did you not want to be with him anymore? or was it not his?!

#! he childishly shakes his head side to side at the last question. he knew you wouldn’t do that

#! but you were still silent, making him nervously glance at you from the side

#! “sorry, piece of lemon stuck in my teeth. i just forgot to tell you,” the words easily flowing out of your mouth nonchalantly

#! sakusa’s fingers were literally about to start twitching from anxiousness beside you

#! a sigh of relief was heard from him and you turned to look at him

#! “you okay?”

#! he doesn’t answer, just gives you a smile and goes back to hugging you from behind

SEMI

#! you were currently sitting on the couch in your shared apartment waiting for semi to come home

#! he’s been on tour for a few months now, you both kept in touch by facetiming, texting, calling, and any other methods of virtual communication

#! you would tune into the live recording of all of his performances when you had time so you could watch him

#! a few weeks into tour, you suddenly felt different than usual but shook it off as nothing and probably just you missing your boyfriend

#! you believed that until one morning you were woken up by the sudden urge to throw up, dashing to the restroom as fast as your drowsy body can go

#! it was then that you realized you might be pregnant

#! the night before semi left, you both had sex to enjoy your last few hours together before he had to leave for a few months

#! with the new realization, you quickly dressed yourself to make a short trip to the store to pick up some tests

#! after half an hour of looking at yourself in the mirror, trying to wrap your head around this, you finally opened the first box

#! a few minutes later, all 5 tests were lined up on the bathroom counter showing positive

#! you stared at the tests, trying to make sure you weren’t reading it wrong

#! once you began to understand the responsibility of being pregnant a few hours later, you made a mental note to go out and buy some food for yourself the next day

#! you decided to sleep off the rest of that day

#! through all of the facetime calls with semi, you never once told him you were pregnant

#! you knew that if you told him he would freak out and either demand to go back home, or stay but all of his attention would be on you being pregnant alone at home for the rest of the tour

#! so here you are now, sitting with a 4 1/2 months baby bump waiting for your beloved to come home

#! it was around 6pm when the front door opened, sounds of shuffling bags and heavy steps could be heard from the musician

#! he cursed under his breath when he almost tripped over a duffle bag with some of his loungewear, calling out for you as he walks further into the apartment, “baby? i’m home!”

#! he was about to speak up again when he saw you asleep on the couch

#! bouncing his way over, he got onto his knees at the edge of the couch to observe your face. god i miss you, he thought to himself

#! he gently shakes you awake, you jolted in surprise not knowing you fell asleep in the first place

#! “hmm- what?,” soft murmurs falling from your lips as you adjusted your eyes at your surrounding

#! “eita!” he grinned at you, both of you pulling each other into a hug

#! “fuck, i miss you so much.” he whispered into your ears before placing his face into your neck

#! “i miss you more.” you tightened your grip around him making him move up on the couch to get more comfortable

#! you both moved around until he had you cradled in between him, your back against his chest

#! his hands going under your his shirt to caress you there when his movements stopped right on top of your stomach

#! it was silent as his warm hands rubbed your stomach in circles, the gears turning in his head

#! “are you- you feel- why’s your tum so round and hard?” he quizzically asked, still rubbing your stomach

#! “pregnant.” your voice a low whisper, he almost didn’t catch it

#! “what?”

#! “pregnant.” you repeated, a bit louder this time

#! “huh?”

#! “pregnant!” you sighed, moving his hand so you can get off of him

#! he grabs your wrist to stop you from walking away and turns you to look at him

#! “you’re pregnant?!”

#! “i just said that. yes.”

#! you knew you sounded blunt and a bit mean, it wasn’t his fault he doesn’t know at all, but your hormones have been making you crankier and it’s out of your control

#! “sorry. yes, i’m pregnant.”

#! his eyes continuously darts up and down from your eyes to your bump

#! “how long?”

#! “since you left.”

#! “was it the night before?” he was referring to your act of intimacy the night before he left

#! “yea.”

#! “wow. why didn’t you tell me?”

#! “because.”

#! “‘cuz what?”

#! “because i know you. you would either stop touring and come home, or stay but lose focus. i was just trying to not distract you because i know how important your career is to you. and because i thought that you’ll be having a six months break after this tour before your next comeback, i would tell you when you came home. i’m sorry if you’re ma-,”

#! “i’m not mad. oh don’t cry, babe, look at me.”he carefully cups your face, “it’s okay, it’s okay. i get why you kept it from me. and now that i have no schedule for the next six months, i can be there for you until the end of your pregnancy and the beginning of our baby’s life alright?”

#! you weakly nodded against his palms, and he brings you back down to lay your head on his chest as you both softly talk about the past months without each other

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Eighteen. The Package.

warnings: swearing word count: 4.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

a/n: me: *it’ll be a much shorter update* also me: *makes it 4.3k words* okay 🧍‍♀️ basically um.... strap in :D

**********

As expected, Y/n’s appearance on Quackity’s stream had caused a panic on Twitter, half of their fans screaming about how cute Bugity was, the other half defending Dreamsy with their lives. It was all very amusing to Y/n, knowing nothing could ever happen between her and Quackity and that neither of them actually had feelings for each other. 

It seemed certain people thought otherwise. 

Dream, the confident and bold man that he usually was, had once again gone quiet towards her. Though it had only been a couple of days, they hardly talked after the stream and had little contact since then, which was very unusual for the two, who normally FaceTimed at least once a day since he showed her his face. 

The weirdest part was he hadn’t Tweeted any jokes about Quackity being too short for her or how Dream was her self-proclaimed Minecraft husband. Maybe he was just busy or tired, but she had a suspicion that it was because she and Quackity had succeeded in making Dream jealous, and she didn’t like it. 

Unlike last time, Y/n knew to confront him about it and work it out before whatever was going on became a bigger issue. She couldn’t deal with him being weird around her again and she had a feeling that he couldn’t either. Even if he was just busy, she wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.

After sending a text to Dream to see if he was busy, Y/n was startled by her front door opening.

“Y/n!” Karl shouted as he ran in, hands full of as many white, plastic bags as possible without dropping or tearing any, though there were a few bags on his right arm that looked like they were about to give. “My beloved!” 

“Karl!” she said back in a slight panic, not expecting him to burst into her house so abruptly. Naomi followed behind him with a few bags in her hands, kicking off her shoes by the entrance and dumping her keys next to them. The two friends set their new purchases on the kitchen counters and Y/n made her way to them to sit at the counter. “Enjoy your trip?”

“Oh for sure,” Naomi nodded sarcastically, unbagging a few items. “Grocery shopping with this one is always sooo fun.” 

Y/n laughed as Karl perked up like he remembered something and dug through a few of the bags Naomi was sorting through. “LOOK WHAT WE BOUGHT!” 

“Uh… cereal?” she guessed, eyeing the brown box her best friend held up proudly.

“Dude, it’s Cocoa Krispies!” he clarified. “I forgot these exist! I’m so excited, it’ll be like eating childhood.” 

Naomi rolled her eyes fondly at his antics before turning to Y/n. “Any word from Dream?” 

She shook her head. “But I only just texted him.” 

“What about Dream?” Karl asked softly, worry in his eyes as he looked between the two girls. “Did something happen? Besides, you know, you showing him your face.” 

Y/n groaned. “I’m never going to hear the end of this. I’m sorry you found out from a stream and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first. It just happened so fast.” 

“As long as I’m the first person you tell when you inevitably start dating.”

“Oh, like you tell me anything, Mr. I’m-Obviously-Texting-Someone-Cute-Because-I-Never-Stop-Giggling-At-My-Phone-But-Haven’t-Mentioned-Anything-To-My-Best-Friend,” Y/n accused, lifting her hands to put air quotes around the last two words. Karl turned bright red and Y/n raised her eyebrows as his phone buzzed on the counter, his eyes darting to it before looking at Y/n with a bashful smile, face still glowing. “Yeah, I thought so.”

Karl sputtered out some attempt of an excuse as he grabbed the ends of his green hoodie in his hands before giving up and huffing. “Okay, and? I only keep things from you because you keep things from me!” he said with a laugh.

“Lie,” Naomi cut in. “We know you've been texting someone for a while. We just respect your privacy about relationships, but we’ve definitely noticed.” 

“I'm private about relationships?” Karl laughed. “Says you!” 

“I'll tell you anything you want to know as long as you don't share it with fans,” Naomi challenged, crossing her arms and looking at Karl pointedly, as if asking him to test her.

Karl dropped his hands and paused before genuinely asking, “Are you guys dating dating?”

“We’re waiting until we meet to see how it goes,” she answered. “Your turn! Is it the camera girl at work that you mentioned a few months ago?” 

“Anyways!!” Karl dragged out the word loudly, pretending to not hear Naomi's question or either of the girl’s laughter. “What about Dream?” he tried redirecting the conversation and luckily for him, Y/n didn’t mind. 

“Well, I kinda....” she took a deep breath as she started helping Naomi put groceries away. “I really want to... I think, well, I know—”

“She decided to tell him she likes him,” Naomi answered for her, receiving a glare from the taller girl. “What? You were taking too long.” 

Karl’s mouth opened. “Wait, really!? When? Today??” He fired off questions and Naomi chuckled. 

Y/n took a shaky, but excited breath. “I don’t know when. But I’m going to tell him,” she said with determination clear in her voice. 

“What made you decide to?” Karl asked with a wide grin, reaching over to Naomi to help her place a box on a higher shelf than she could reach. “Why all of a sudden?” 

Y/n shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself tightly with excitement. “Well, I started to think he likes me too and I really want to know if something could happen or if I should try to just move on. I’ll never know unless I ask, right?” she said, and Karl and Naomi both smiled at her. “I'm sick of not knowing for sure.” 

“I’m so excited for you!” Karl giggled. “I’m—Y/n, this is gonna be good. I know it.”

She smiled widely, scrunching her nose lightly. “I think so too.”

“So do George and I,” Naomi commented as she took a handful of Cocoa Krispies from the box, earning a look of betrayal from Karl, who snatched the box from her to have a snack too. 

“Does everyone talk about him and I?”

Karl nodded slowly while Naomi took a more blunt approach. “Yup.”

“What are the odds that he’s the only one who doesn’t think we like each other?” 

Karl giggled. “1 in 7.5 trilli— OW! You just hit me!” 

“Overused joke,” Naomi explained, retracting her hand from the back of his head with a sweet smile. 

Y/n pulled her phone out of her pocket as it vibrated and gasped lightly before looking up at her friends. “Okay Karl, I need to know details about this secret person you’re keeping from us, especially if it's camera girl because she sounded adorable.” 

“No,” he protested pointedly. “Not until something actually happens.” 

“Is.. is that a confirmation that it's camera girl?” Naomi snapped her head to look at him.  

Karl paused, turning pink. “N-no?” 

“Karl!” Y/n pouted and he winked dramatically at her. 

“Go talk to your boy. I know it was him that just texted you.” 

“Make him your boyfriend,” Naomi demanded jokingly, though the glint in her eyes told Y/n that she meant it. 

“Not happening right now,” Y/n assured, getting up from her seat. “But I am going to go talk to him. So love you both, bye.”

“Hi,” Y/n greeted happily as she propped her phone up on her desk and tucked her knees to her chest.

“Hello,” Dream said with a weak smile, less enthusiastic than he seemed over text, though he was trying his best to make that not noticeable. He pulled his hood over his hair but kept his face in view and Y/n could clearly see him being vaguely distant, not looking directly at his phone.

Focus on the mission: make sure he's doing okay and if not, find out why, she reminded herself as her thoughts started to focus on how adorable he looked all tired and pouty. Don't tell him you like him if he's mad at you for something.

“Are you doing okay?” He nodded distractedly at her question and she frowned softly. “What’s wrong, Clay?”

The man stuck with his story, adding a slight smile and a breathy laugh in an attempt to make his obvious lie more believable. “Nothing. I’m fine, Bug.”

Y/n took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing it suddenly. “At the risk of sounding… narcissistic,” she paused, “are you by chance upset at all by the... stream from the other day?”

Hesitation was written all over Dream’s face as he chewed on his lower lip and hummed.

“Or something completely different? I just wanna make sure I didn't do anything to upset you..”

“I'm not upset at you,” he clarified quickly before hesitantly adding, “but... maybe it has a little bit to do with that.”

Y/n nodded, hoping she was understanding correctly and wasn’t about to make a fool of herself. “In a... jealous way?”

Dream huffed, clearly frustrated. “Yeah, I get it, the whole point was that Alex wanted to make me jealous because he knows how much I care about you and… and whatever. Well, it worked,” he admitted the last part softly like he was embarrassed.

“Dream,” Y/n sighed, “I’ve said it before, you have nothing to be jealous of.”

“I’m aware that I’m not allowed to be jealous, Y/n,” he said harshly, though she knew the slight anger wasn’t directed at her specifically, despite the use of her real name, which he hardly ever used.

She frowned. “That’s not—no, that’s not what I’m saying. I mean that there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

Dream looked at the camera skeptically. “I mean… there kinda is, to be fair. Two of my best friend’s reading—”

“Dream,” Y/n deadpanned, looking softly but sternly at him through the pixels that made their distance seem closer. “I’m serious.”

The blond boy shrugged slowly, seeming to realize how dumb it was to think there was a possibility of him losing Y/n’s attention in any way. “I know it’s stupid to be jealous anyway. You can, you know, have whatever friends you want. I just…” he trailed off like he wanted to say something important but shook his head.

Y/n took a deep breath, so tempted to just blurt out the words at the back of her throat. Just tell him you like him, she scolded herself, do it. It’s the perfect chance. She didn’t know if she was being dumb and was just reading into things or if she was right, but she felt like he liked her. Even before he saw her.

“Sorry I made you mad,” she whispered and he frowned.

“You didn't—Bug, I'm not mad at you. Or Quackity. I’m mad at myself if anything but… not mad.”

“So… you don't hate me?”

He rolled his head back and smiled, scoffing lightly. “I could never be mad at you. Like, actually.”

She rolled her lips between her teeth, feeling the words bubble at the back of her throat again. But before she could open her mouth to let them fly, the boy on the other side of the phone spoke up.

“Hey, did you get my package yet?” Dream asked suddenly. Y/n couldn’t tell if he was changing the subject on purpose or if he just remembered and didn’t want to forget, but it made her want to hit her head on her desk. She needed to figure out a way to subtly bring the conversation back around eventually so she could make herself tell him she liked him.

Y/n let out her breath shakily and her shoulders dropped. “Oh, uh, I don’t think so. The mail hasn’t come today though.”

Dream groaned. “I wish it would show up already,” he pouted. “It’s supposed to get there sometime in the next couple days. I don’t know exactly when because UPS is being vague.”

Y/n laughed. “What did you send?”

“The hoodie!”

“Oh yeah!” she gasped, forgetting about her self-appointed task from moments ago. “I’m very excited. Thank you again, by the way. It’s very sweet of you to send me your merch for free.”

“Of course,” he said with a soft smile. “Anything for you.”

“I’ll just have to pay you back by giving you the very first Bugsy merch.”

“Ohh!!” he gasped excitedly. “Are you working on some?”

She shrugged vaguely to tease him. “I may or may not have a few ideas.”

“Please, can I know? I really wanna know.”

“Why are you so excited?” she asked with a laugh. “You can find out when I announce stuff.”

He pouted. “I don’t get any sort of privilege?”

“Pretty privilege will only get you so far in life, bud,” she teased and he shook his head. She wondered if she would have butterflies in her stomach still if she called him pretty under different circumstances, like if they were dating. Would he react in a different way or still just give her that smile.

“I just can’t wait,” he interrupted her train of thought. “I love having every crumb of BugsyGames content I can get.”

“You already get more than anyone except Karl and Naomi. So greedy.”

He hummed and smiled at her fondly.

“Hey, you said you wanted to talk about something?”

“Huh? Oh… that… uh, well.” He stopped abruptly and his brows furrowed in deep thought, like he was deciding how to say something important again.

She decided to give him a way out by offering, “Was it just about wondering if I got the hoodie yet?”

Dream’s face lit up and she didn’t mistake the grateful look for anything else. “Yeah, that. Just let me know when you do get it. Or I’ll text you if they ever let me know where it is.”

A few days later, Y/n got a notification on Twitter from Dream’s alt account. She rolled her eyes fondly at his theatrics, knowing he didn’t text her like he made Twitter think. 

Y/n lifted the large, brown box from her doorstep and shook her head as she brought it into her apartment. She dropped it on her bed with a huff, hoping that Dream didn’t send her more than one of his merch hoodies. She read the label on the front and immediately knew he did; the white sticker had her nickname written in a small, neat but childlike script instead of a label printed off from a factory. He made her believe he had ordered one from his website and had it delivered to her house, but this clearly showed it had been at his house, giving her the impression there was more than one. She breathed out and grabbed her phone, hoping Dream would pick up her FaceTime call.

After only two rings, Dream answered. “Helloooo,” he greeted slowly but happily. He was slouched sideways on his couch so his cheek pressed against the back and he smiled sleepily.

“Clay.”

“Clay?” he laughed. “Are you mad at me or something?”

“What did you send me?”

“Hoodies? Did you get them?”

“Plural?” Y/n emphasized and he smiled.

“Plural,” he confirmed, making Y/n groan.

“I feel so bad! I didn’t even want one free—”

“Come onnn, it’s fine. Bug, I’ve gifted you, like, 700 subs in one stream before but you don’t want more than one of my hoodies?”

She paused. Did he mean ‘his’ hoodies as in his hoodies? Or as in his brand?

“Just open it!” Dream prompted as he sat up a little. “I’m excited!”

“Which ones did you send me?” Y/n asked as she grabbed scissors from her desk and started opening the box, propping her phone up on her pillows so he could see. “Also, nice handwriting.”

Dream laughed. “Yeah? Sapnap says it looks like shit.”

“I doubt his is any better. I like the little… thing you drew? What is that?” she asked as she paused and leaned closer to the package to get a better look at the artwork.

“It’s a bug!” Dream laughed. “It’s not that bad. Okay, it is pretty bad but you could have figured out what it was from context clues.”

“It's just a scribble.”

“Okay, Miss Artist,” he mocked. “Just open the package!”

Y/n finished opening the box and was hit with an unfamiliar scent. It was nice, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter. She grabbed the material on top, a classic lime green hoodie with Dream’s smile printed on the front, and held it up with a wide smile.

“IT’S SO CUTE!!” she complimented, stepping back from the camera and holding it up to her body. “And also the perfect size! Thank you so much, Dream, seriously.”

“Put it on!” he said with a giggle and she complied, wanting to feel how soft it was while wearing it. She pulled the hoodie on, noting how the scent from the box lingered on the green fabric, but wasn’t strong enough to be the source.

She stepped back and lifted her arms, showing how it fit just how she liked her hoodies to. “It’s perfect!” she assured.

“It looks good on you,” he complimented. “There’s still another one.”

“I know, because you just can’t help but to break rules and go against our agreement,” she joked as she took off the new hoodie and poked her head in the box to see what else he had sent her.

Her eyes locked onto a maroon-colored hoodie with an unfamiliar logo on the front, definitely not more merch like she expected.

“It’s mine,” Dream explained softly from her phone. She looked at him to see him doing his best to hide behind his hand without making his embarrassment obvious.

“No, it’s not,” she challenged in disbelief. No way he sent her his actual hoodie.

Dream nodded and she grabbed it from the box, noticing how much larger it was than the last one. She held it up to her body again and almost fainted at the size difference.

“It’s from, like, forever ago when my family went to the Florida Keys on vacation,” he explained. “Thought you might want a reminder that warm places exist while it gets colder there.”

Y/n smiled widely, not even trying to hide her happiness, which made Dream crack and flash his own grin. “Wanna try it on?”

She didn’t need to be asked twice, slipping it over her head like the last one. It smelled amazing. This was definitely the source of the cologne and she just knew it was his. If this is what he smelled like, she was going to have a hard time not cuddling with him 24/7 when they went on vacation.

“Y/n, you look so cu—”

“It smells so good,” she voiced abruptly and distractedly, making Dream cut himself off and turn a pink that even his phone camera could pick up on.

“Glad you think so.”

She lifted the material over her nose and was even more overwhelmed by the scent that surrounded her. If her stomach butterflies were fluttering before, they were raging lunatics at this point.

“You look so cute, Bug,” Dream complimented fondly and she smiled at him, flipping the hood up to cover her face. “I was right, you do look much better in my clothes than in Karl’s.”

She hummed happily and fiddled with the hoodie strings as she walked back to her phone and took a breath.

She needed to just say it. It was obvious now; there was no way he didn’t like her, sending her his hoodie practically drenched in his cologne and saying she looked cute in his clothes while he blushed. She had nothing to lose in telling him she liked him.

“Thank you, Dream. It really means a lot to me,” she said genuinely and he smiled at her.

“One more thing,” he said and she could detect nervousness in his voice, worrying her only slightly.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know how to say this because I’ve never done this like… this… but you know there’s a first for everything I guess, and, uh—”

“Dream,” Y/n got his attention with a small laugh. “Just say whatever you need to say.”

“I lied about what I wanted to talk to you about the other day,” he admitted, tightening his hoodie strings before loosening them and huffing loudly. “I mean, I did want to see if the package was there, but I also wanted to… I have a better explanation for kinda ignoring you after Quackity’s stream and stuff um…” he paused and took a deep breath. “I know I can get kinda, I don't know, possessive about people,” he stated, his voice raising at the end like it was a question. “And it's something I'm definitely working on because it’s not a really good trait to have, but I do it especially when I like someone a lot so I’m sorry for being jealous of Quackity and Karl and even Naomi but, uh, I really like you a lot so if I’ve ever come across as overly jealous, that's why. But, again, I'm working on that.”

Y/n didn't know how to contain her smile even if she wanted to. Her heart raced as she looked at Dream’s embarrassed and red face.

“This is also not how I wanted to do this but, I’m pretty sure if I went another day without telling you that I like you, especially after seeing you in my hoodie, I was going to actually explode.”

“You asshole,” she mumbled, a huge grin contradicting her words.

“Oh god, I'm so sorry for rambling. I understand if you wanna send me the hoodie back or even just burn it if you want. Go ahead and burn it. I didn't mean it to come across as creepy if it did. I can see how it would be because I told you I like you after telling you to wear it and… oh god. And I'll stop texting you so much and not go on streams you'll be on and—”

“No, no! Dream, I don't want any of that!” She laughed. “I called you an asshole because you beat me to it.”

“Beat you to what?” he asked, the shakiness in his voice telling her how anxious he was.

Put him out of his misery, Y/n. “I was going to tell you I like you,” she explained before softly adding, “You beat me to it.”

Dream looked at her like she hung the moon just for him. “You do?”

“Yes, dummy. I really do.” Her face was on fire and she lifted the collar of her (his) hoodie over her nose like she always did when she was flustered. This time, the action only worsened her state since she was reintroduced to the scent of Dream’s cologne.

Y/n’s screen showed Dream’s ceiling as he set his phone down abruptly and put his head in his hands, which she could kinda see by his mess of blond waves shoved into the camera lens as he leaned over his desk.

“Dream!” She laughed. “Come back!”

He grabbed his phone and held it close to his face, absolutely beaming. “You have no idea how happy— Bug, I like you a lot.”

“I like you too, Dream,” she repeated and his smile only grew.

“Holy shit. You have a crush on me!”

“Shut up,” she joked. “What are you gonna do about it, huh?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I'm going to take you on a fucking date when you get here, that's what I'll do about it. Sound good?”

She bit her lips and nodded. “I can check my schedule.”

“Oh, come on,” he whined lightly. “Really?”

“Yes, I’ll go on a freaking date with you, Clay. What kind of question is that?”

“Consent is key!!” he declared. “I'm not gonna force you to go out with me—”

“You'd have to force me not to,” she laughed. “But just to be very clear, do you see now that I meant it when I said you had nothing to be jealous of?”

He frowned seriously. “I'm really sorry. I know it's unattractive and unhealthy and I'm working on it, I really am.”

“Honestly, you've done pretty good, I think. I mean, I didn't even know you were jealous of Naomi until you told me. And you didn't blow up at Quackity… at least not during stream or in front of me, which shows you have some self control.”

Dream laughed through his nose. “I actually didn't yell at him for that at all. Just… pouted to George and Karl.”

“W-wait to KARL? Karl knows you like me? AND George? That means both of us told them how we felt and neither of them let us know!”

“They hate us,” Dream joked.

“Just for that, I'm not telling either of them about the date. Purely out of spite.”

“I made them swear they wouldn't tell you anything though. So I understand why they didn't say anything.”

Y/n hummed. “I guess I did the same… okay fine they're super loyal, perfect friends. Still annoying.”

Dream smiled at her attitude and her frown melted away.

“By the way, I never said you being jealous wasn't hot.”

Dream’s eyebrows shot up. “What the hell did you just say?”

“Unreasonable jealousy isn't but you sending me a hoodie just because you don't want to see me wear Karl’s is kinda…” she suddenly got shy at her words but still raised an eyebrow at him. “It's definitely attractive.”

Dream shook his head fondly. “You're going to kill me.”

*********

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[saeyoungchoismaid]

The brother’s reaction to having a shy s/o who is inexperienced

Genre: fluff Warnings: none

Lucifer: 

he was really subtle about liking you at first

until he found out that you like him back 

then, all bets were off 

he acted so cockily and confident 

well, more than usual, that is

he was all about flirting and being touchy 

teasing you constantly 

when you two actually started dating, he was surprisingly pretty slow about going about things 

you guessed it was because he hasn’t been serious about anyone in a while 

a fiery blush came to your cheeks when you first held hands and he thought it was the cutest thing ever to see you so flustered 

when he finally decided to kiss you, he notices you dodge his attempts

the first time it happened, he got the message and didn’t try again for a long while 

he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, after all 

when he tries again though and you still refuse him, he decides to talk to you about it 

he’s absolutely 100% okay with waiting but he just wants to know why

does he scare you or make you nervous? Are you not as attracted to him as you thought? 

when you confess that you’re nervous to be affectionate with him in fear of messing up, he’s confused 

“Darling, I don’t care how good or bad you are. That’s what I’m here for. I’ll teach you all that you need to know,” he purrs suggestively into your ear 

when you finally do kiss, he can tell you’re inexperienced but the kiss alone was enjoyable because it was done with you 

Mammon:

it took him all of two seconds to try to first kiss you when you started dating

when you dodged it though, he felt his heart break a little

you’re his human now, right? So why can’t he show you how much he likes you?

true to Mammon manner, he throws a fit without really thinking about it 

“Why won’t ya let me kiss ya? ‘U’re my partner, aren’t ya? I should be allowed to kiss ya!” he whines

as much as he wanted to kiss you, he was okay with waiting if that’s what you wanted 

he’s just dramatic 

when you teared up at his words though, his mind instantly shuts off and he doesn’t know what to do 

“Yeah, ‘u’re right. I’m not being a good partner. I’m sorry,” you apologize, tears starting to fall down your face

he gapes at this, his heart beating faster when he realizes that he’s the cause of your tears

“What? No! You’re perfect! Stop crying! If ya don’t wanna kiss me yet, ya don’t have to!” he shouts

you sniffle and wipe at your cheeks, still not making eye contact with him 

“Really?” you ask unsurely, thinking he’s just saying that to make you stop crying 

you see his feet come into your view and then feel his hands on your cheeks, fear shooting through you when you think he’s going to try to kiss you anyway 

“(Y/n), ya know how much I...like ya. I don’t want to make ya do something that ya don’t wanna do...”

you sniffle again, a smile slowly coming to your face as you look up at him 

“Thank you, Mammon. This means a lot to me,” you thank softly

he huffs and shoves you into his chest, your arms coming around him for a tight hug

“Yeah, whatever, human,” he grumbles, failing to hide his blush from you

Levi:

he’s just as nervous as you are 

yeah, he’s been around hundreds and hundreds of years but that doesn’t mean he’s all that experienced 

he prefers hiding in his room to play video games and watch anime rather than going out and actually talking to all the normies 

you make him want to leave his room though 

he wasn’t exactly subtle about having feelings for you 

then again, you weren’t the best at hiding it either 

all of the brothers constantly tease you both 

so, when you finally do get together, neither of you make a move to even hold hands

the most you do for a while is hug, to be honest 

as time went by and you two got more comfortable around each other, he finally worked up the nerve to hold your hand 

both of you had blushes the entire time though 

it took him even longer to try to kiss you for the first time 

when you avoided it though, he freaked out 

“Sorry! Ugh, I knew I shouldn’t have tried that! I really am sorry! I didn’t mean to—”

he stops when you tighten your grip on his hand, his throat seizing up a bit at the extra pressure

are you going to dump him? 

“I’m sorry. It’s not you. I’m just so afraid of messing this up...” you confess 

cue confused Levi™️

“What? Why would you think that?” he asks as he turns to face you more now that he knows you’re not revolted by him 

after you explain everything to him, he smiles softly at you and turns you to face him 

“Hey, I don’t care about that. You’re talking to me, after all. There are plenty of things I haven’t done and I’m nervous to try. I want to try them with you though. For you,” he says softly, his free hand lightly cupping your cheek

you smile brightly at him now as you give him a hug

“Thank you, Levi.”

Satan: 

he was really calm about the entire thing 

well, other than when you would do something beyond cute and he’d just get so flustered

when he realized he liked you, he didn’t hesitate to ask you out once he ‘confirmed’ that you liked him back 

when you said yes, he was beyond ecstatic 

he practically dragged you to your first date right away 

he held your hand easily, not noticing how you tensed up at the gesture before slowly relaxing into it 

when he tried to kiss you after your first date though, you retreated from his face 

he visibly deflates at the denial but he doesn’t push it 

you two did just start dating, after all. Maybe you’re just not ready yet 

and he’s okay with that

“Goodnight, (Y/n),” he whispers before kissing the back of your hand and leaving you at your door 

he doesn’t try again until much later 

when you do the same thing again though, he looks crestfallen 

“(Y/n)...why won’t you let me kiss you?” he asks quietly, starting to become afraid that you didn’t actually like him anymore or that you’re scared of him 

after hearing you explain that you’re afraid of messing up or that you’re not good enough for him, he looks heartbroken 

“My love, don’t think so negatively about yourself. I want all of you, your faults and your downfalls included. I like you for who you are,” he says gently, cupping your hands with his 

when he sees you smile, he pulls you into a hug 

“Now that I know, I’ll wait as long as you want me to.” 

Asmo:

we all know how affectionate this demon is 

you two weren’t even dating yet before he tried making a move 

when you shot him down or shied away from him, he just brushed it off

when he actually started liking you though, all of that stopped 

he didn’t want you to be uncomfortable or nervous around him 

he hated the thought of it 

you, and everyone for that matter, noticed his change in behavior 

he didn’t really bring anyone home anymore, he didn’t even really flirt with anyone that wasn’t you 

it was freaking everyone out, honestly 

well, everyone but you 

it made you realize how serious his feelings for you are 

so, when you two start dating, he’s ready to get things on the road 

when he tries to kiss you though, you avoid it with a nervous gaze

this makes him just as nervous 

does he still make you uncomfortable or anxious? are you worried about him cheating on you? 

he let it go the first time, wanting to give you time to adjust to your new relationship with him 

when he tried again though and you still avoided him, he just got more upset 

“Why won’t you let me kiss you? Do I make you that uncomfortable?” he snaps without thinking about it 

in his eyes, he’s been nothing but a loving, caring, and loyal boyfriend and you’ll barely cuddle him 

everything comes to a stop when your eyes start watering though 

“You’re right. I know. I’m such a bad partner. You can kiss me. Go ahead,” you concede, body shaking as you move closer to him 

kissing you is what he’s been wanting but not like this

you clearly don’t want it 

“What? No! Look at you! You’re shaking at even thinking about kissing me! I’m not going to force you to do it!” he shouts as he moves away from you 

his yelling and denying you just makes you more nervous. You just keep messing up 

“I’m sorry. I understand if you want to break up with me. I know you’re the avatar of lust. I’m such a bad partner. I can’t even kiss you,” you sob, your body shaking even more

he frowns at this, a pit forming in his stomach as he tries to figure out what to do 

he sighs and moves to you, wrapping you in a hug and letting you sob into his chest 

“Babe,” he calls out to you, getting no response. “Darling,” he tries again. “Sugar. Love bug. My honey bunches of oats,” he keeps going, the pet names getting more sickeningly sweet as he goes on 

you start giggling at the fourth one, pulling away to look up at him 

he smiles softly at you, his hands cupping your face and petting your hair as he speaks 

“(Y/n), it doesn’t matter that I’m the avatar of lust. I want to be with you and if that means you don’t want to kiss me yet, then that’s okay. I’m sorry for shouting. I just thought you were still uncomfortable around me from how I used to act...” he confesses 

your smile slips into a frown, your head starting to shake 

“That’s not it at all. I just don’t want to mess this up. I really like you...” you confess 

he smirks and kisses your cheek before saying, “Good because I like you even more.”

Beel: 

my pure honey bunch sugar plum pumpyumpyumpkin sweetie pie cuppy cake gum drop schnookums schnookums baby cakes 

I love this man so much I-

when he figures out he likes you, this demon can barely look at you without getting butterflies and a pink blush 

when he finds out you like him too?

those butterflies turn into full-on birds and he swears he’s going to be sick 

he gets so nervous around you after that 

suddenly, things he used to do without thinking, he now overthinks about

you look so nice today. Should he tell you or will you be creeped out? He’s trying out this new recipe. Can he ask you to try it or is he pestering you? He needs help with his homework. Can he ask you or will you think he’s dumb or annoying?

MY POOR SWEET BABY 

when you two get together, it helps him relax a lot 

you wouldn’t be dating him if you didn’t like him, right?

takes him like three months to even hold your hand

after he first does it though, he ALWAYS holds your hand after that 

he likes the feeling of your small hand in his 

it takes him 47420959584 years to try to kiss you 

he’s honestly so excited but also very nervous 

he is constantly looking at your lips and imagining them against his

when he tries and you deny him, he thinks he might puke 

“I’m sorry. I can’t,” you say softly

he swallows down his nerves and nods his head, moving away from you to give you space 

“No, it’s okay. I understand.”

“But you don’t...” you mumble

what doesn’t he understand? 

“Okay, then explain it to me?” he replies, it coming out more as a question that a statement

you sigh before explaining the situation 

he smiles at your words though, thinking it’s kind of silly 

“(Y/n), you don’t ever have to be worried when it comes to me. I care for you in ways that I can’t explain. If you aren’t ready to kiss me yet, then that’s completely fine. I want to kiss you only when you’re ready,” he reassures before giving your forehead a kiss 

Belphie: 

you two were cuddling in bed before he even realized he liked you 

once he did realize though, he became nervous around you 

he didn’t show it though 

he just started acting indifferent towards you 

he wasn’t fooling anyone though 

it was the little things that showed everyone that he cared for you

giving you his leftovers instead of Beel, pulling a blanket over you if you fall asleep on the couch, pulling a piece of fuzz from your hair with the utmost care, the list goes on 

when you two started dating, nothing really changed at first

Belphie is bad at expressing himself, so cuddling with you was already a big step for him 

when you two move up to hugging and hand-holding though, he slowly starts to open up more 

one day, he finally goes to kiss you only for you to avoid it 

he’s confused but it doesn’t really bother him all that much because he knows what it’s like to received unwanted affection 

but wait 

why would his affection be unwanted? He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he?

he softly asks you about it, letting you know that he’s not upset in any way. He’s just confused

once you explain that you’re afraid of messing up, he chuckles a little as he pulls you into a hug 

“Now why would you ever be afraid of something like that? You know that I like you. Both of us will make plenty of mistakes but we are a couple so we will work on them and improve together,” he coos at you

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[naughtyneganjdm]

Trapped

Summary: After Negan and Maggie become trapped in a home from The Reapers' attack on the group, they are forced to be together to talk about the tension going on between them.

Characters: Negan & Maggie

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33529606

Warnings: Swearing, smut, mild dubious consent, rough sex, hate sex, etc.

Notes: This was a request. At first, I thought it was a joke, but when the person wrote me very kindly to ask me for this, I agreed. I know Negan and Maggie as a couple would enrage a big part of the fandom. If that's you, just don't read the story. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, but I hope the person who asked me for it enjoys it. Warning, this does have some spoilers from the end of episode 2, in case you haven't seen the episode yet.

“Come on,” Negan called out, waving his hand on when he made it to the broken-down home that he had found with Maggie while running away from the attack that The Reapers brought down on their group.

Clinging desperately to the door at his side, Negan waited for Maggie to catch up and the moment she made it into the home, he slammed the door shut behind her. Immediately locking up the door, he reached for the nearest china cabinet that was right beside the door to block off the doorway. Testing the weight of the cabinet, Negan made sure it would definitely be hard for someone to open the door. There was no way someone could open that door without struggling to do so.

The windows were already boarded up and Negan moved over toward one of them to look through the gaps that were there to see if they had been followed. Thank God, it seemed like they had snuck away without being spotted. Then again, these people were good. They could be out there and they would have never even known it until one of them got hit again. Fuck. How did he get stuck in a situation like this? He knew that he should have said no when they asked him to come on this trip. For some reason, he just felt forced into trying to continue to prove his worth in the community. Then again, if he would have said no to begin with, he was certain they would have forced him anyways. There was no way that Maggie would have let him stay back in Alexandria. There was a reason he was here and he knew that by now.

After standing there for a few minutes to make sure there was no movement in the distance, it seemed like they were safe and Negan took a moment to finally catch his breath. “I think we are safe. For now.”

When he turned on his heel, he let out a grunt when he saw that Maggie had her gun raised once more at him. It was pointed directly at his face and Negan held his hands up in the air defensively. “What now?”

“You made me leave them,” Maggie scowled, her face scrunched up in rage making Negan theatrically bob his head before lowering his hands at his sides. An irritated smirk pressed in over his exhausted features and he shrugged his shoulders. Here they were again. He did something right and that led him to having a gun pointed at his face. This seemed like it was going to be a never-ending cycle between them. “I could have saved Agatha. We could have helped her.”

“If you didn’t leave and I didn’t save you, you would be walker food right now too,” Negan snapped, his eyes narrowing while he stared out at Maggie. There was tension in the air. It wasn’t the first time she had that gun pointed at him today and he knew it wouldn’t be the last. “Instead of letting you die, I saved you. Your friends…all of em’, they are dead. There was nothing you could do to save them. You would have lost your life if you would have tried.”

“Those people were like my family. It should have been you out there instead of them!” she declared making Negan mutter something under his breath and roll his eyes when she said that. Somehow, he managed to save her life and he was still the bad guy. If he did something wrong, he was the bad guy. If he did something right, he was still the bad guy. There was no escaping this tiresome cycle. “They were some of the best fighters I knew.”

“Well clearly it doesn’t matter how good of a fighter you are when it comes to these people. You are dealing with master tacticians here Maggie. If you would have stayed and I didn’t do what I did, we wouldn’t be having this little stand off right now. You would be dead if I didn’t do what I did,” Negan pointed out, wiggling his fingers between the two of them, his eyes big with annoyance. “I made sure that your little boy just might have a chance that his mother might return to him after all of this.”

There was a deafening silence that fell over the both of them and Maggie’s eyes narrowed. A moment later her gun lowered. At this point, he was just getting sick of constantly being threatened with death even when he was doing something morally right. Negan wobbled over to the stairs to see that the upstairs area was blocked off. Checking the rest of the house, Negan confirmed that they would be safe in the small living room that they were locked up in. Everything else in the house appeared to be locked up very well.

A pained wince fell from his throat when an ache flooded down his right leg. Looking down toward his leg that had gotten injured in the attack, Negan could see the blood that was seeping through his pants. After the injury, he had wrapped the bandana around his leg to stop the bleeding, but who knew if it was actually fucking working. It burned like hell.

“This is your moment to relax. Gather yourself. In case they find us again. ‘Cause we are either going to have to run like hell or fight back,” Negan instructed, nodding over toward one of the chairs that was in the corner of the room. Instead of listening to him, she simply glared at him and Negan threw his hands up in the air. If she wasn’t going to take the time to do it, he was. “Or just ignore me. It’s not like I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about or anything.”

Moving over toward the corner of the living room, he dropped down in the corner to rest himself. Clutching tightly to the tire iron in his hands, Negan surveyed the dark room around them. The lights from the cracks in the boarded-up windows is what filled the house with light and he grumbled to himself. The house looked like it had seen better days. The green walls had dirt caked on them and there was a smell of mildew that lingered in the air. A floral chair was sitting upright in the corner and Negan found himself surprised that even though this place was a mess, that it still looked somewhat livable. Setting the tire iron aside, Negan tried to give himself a moment to let the tension from his body leave him. If he continued to be anxious, he knew it would make him fuck up. In order to get through this alive, he knew that his mind needed to be clear.

Loud, uneven breaths fell from Negan’s throat. Dropping his head back against the wall, Negan bit down firmly on his bottom lip and groaned when he felt the pain radiating from his leg. Clearing his mind and thinking of a plan was hard to do with the immense ache. Lazily, his eyes opened and he could see that Maggie was looking him over from where she was standing by the window. Her eyes locked onto his leg and the expression over her face was cold.

“I hope it hurts,” Maggie slurred after finally moving over toward one of the seats at the other end of the room and it made Negan crack a smile after she said that. Nodding, he looked down toward his leg and let out a grumble.

“It does. You’re in luck,” Negan sneered back knowing that things had been tense since the subway station between the two of them. Well, hell…they were always tense. Just not trying to save Maggie when she slipped undoubtedly made everything worse. It felt like only a minute had passed before Maggie was getting up from where she was seated to pace through the living room. She was looking from window to window as if trying to come up with a plan. “You’re going to wear a hole in the damn floor with the pacing if you keep that shit up.”

“Do you ever shut up?” she jeered and it made Negan snicker. Part of him wanted to be a smart ass and give her the answer he often would others, but instead he stayed quiet. “I’m trying to think of a way to go back. Maybe one of them…”

“None of them made it out Maggie. They are gone. You saw it. I saw it. Pretending that you can somehow save them is only going to get you killed. We need to move forward,” Negan instructed, swallowing down hard. Visibly she hated the answer, but so did he. The more numbers they had, the better chance they had against The Reapers. It was just the two of them and they had no chance of making this work. “Before we keeping moving, we first need to take a few minutes to gather our strength. If we run on empty, we’re just going to be easy targets for these people. You saw how easily they killed everyone. We have no chance just the two of us.”

Instead of listening to him, she continued to stare outside the cracks in the window. With a frustrated grunt, Negan reached to pinch at the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “You know, just because you hate me doesn’t mean you have to be stupid. Sometimes I know what the hell I’m doing and saying. I could be helping you here.”

“You don’t care about helping,” she yelled at him from where she was standing by the windows and Negan dramatically threw his hands up in the air before rolling his eyes. “I don’t want to hear your bullshit.”

“You’re right. I don’t give a shit. If I didn’t give a shit, I would have left you to die! I didn’t!” Negan maintained, his eyes getting dark with anger when he rose his voice back at her. “I am so sick of you people telling me how I feel and what I’m doing when my actions are going against what you are actually saying. You’re right, I left you there at the subway train, but let’s be honest you would have pushed me off the fucking thing if roles were reversed and you fucking know it.”

There was a silence and her face twisted with an emotion he couldn’t quite read. Lifting his finger, he spun it in the air and pointed at her, “Exactly! You would have and you know it! But I just saved you a few minutes ago. I could have just left you to die and then I would have been fine. You would have been out of my life and I would have been so much safer. Yet here we are after I just saved your ass!”

Maggie’s face twitched in irritation after he said that and a defeated breath fell from her lungs. She moved over to the opposite side of the living room and dropped down in the corner facing straight at him. Her bright eyes glared out at him and pierced through him making an uncomfortable sigh escape his throat.

“Listen,” Negan panted, still trying to catch his breath. His heart was hammering inside of his chest and he reached up to wipe at his face with the back of his hand. “I’m sorry that your friends died out there. I know that…”

“Don’t,” she held her hand up in the air to cut him off, to keep him from saying anything else. “You’re not someone who is sorry. You may have saved my ass. Okay. But you’re not someone that is sorry. If you were sorry, you would have already apologized a long time ago. You’re a cold, dark piece of shit. Where your heart should be is a blackhole of emptiness. So don’t sell me that you are sorry.”

“Are you talking about Glenn?” Negan inquired, his thick eyebrows arching up when her head tilted to the side. Yeah, he fucked up knowing that she hated even the sound of Glenn’s name falling from his lips. “What would apologizing for what I did to Glenn do for you?”

“Shut up,” she demanded and Negan shook his head, his loud breathing filling the air around them. “Don’t say his name.”

“Are you telling me that saying I’m sorry for what I did to Glenn would make you feel better?” Negan pushed the subject harder and his voice filled with just a little bit more venom. Her body locked up upon hearing his words. Shaking his head, he bit at his bottom lip and threw his hands up again. “Me apologizing would do absolutely nothing for you Maggie! It won’t bring Glenn back. It won’t make up for the pain and the agony I caused you. It won’t bring your little boy’s father back…”

Almost immediately Maggie stood up from the ground and stomped over toward the corner where Negan was to whip the gun against the side of Negan’s face again. This time it connected hard enough for him to get a bloody nose. The taste of his blood over his lips was enough for him to prove that. Instead of moving, Negan watched as Maggie brough the gun up to point at him again.  

“I don’t know what you want me to say Maggie. Do I regret what I did? Every fucking day of my life. I didn’t know you were pregnant, but at the time I didn’t give a shit. I saw a group that killed my people and I was out to get revenge. I thought back then the man I became was the man I was supposed to be. I was wrong. I didn’t think about the awful, horrible things I was doing, but me apologizing is not going to make up for the things that I did,” Negan insisted with a sadness in his tone, his hazel eyes almost tearing over as he spoke. “I still did those things. Yeah, I’m the not man I used to be anymore. I hate what I did to people. I hate the man I became. I hate the person that I was. I wish I could go back, but I can’t. But what good would apologizing do? I can’t change what happened. I took the person you loved away from you. I can’t make up for that. I never will, no matter how hard I tried.”

There was rage in the way that Maggie was breathing, her finger was over the trigger and Negan’s bottom lip was trembling while he stared up at her, “So am I sorry Maggie? Yeah. I’m sorry. But does it change the way you feel about things?”

Maggie’s whole body shook while she kept the gun raised up and when she lowered the gun to look away from Negan, he cleared his throat. Pushing the blood away from his nose, Negan knew that it hurt like hell, but there were other things on his mind. Inside of his chest, he could feel his heart pounding away, but he knew that he needed to get it off his chest, “If you find peace in killing me, then do it Maggie. Do it now. Get it over with. I’m accepting of it. This cat and mouse game of constantly threatening me is helping neither of us. I’m trying to be a better man and if the threat of death is over my head all the time, then what’s the fucking point? I know you hate me. If killing me…”  

“Shut up,” she lowered down on her knees and he heard her shuddering breaths filling the air. Uncertainty filled his body at how to handle this whole situation. Getting up from the corner of the room, he moved across the room and knelt in behind her. Placing his hand over her shoulder, Negan for some unknown reason even to himself was attempting to comfort her. “Don’t…”

“Listen, I know you’ve lost a lot,” Negan began and he felt the power of her turning toward him knocking him over onto the floor.

Scrambling backwards toward the corner of the living room where he was originally, Negan knew that he wanted to let her have her space. God, that was a stupid idea. The stare she was giving him made him cuss to himself when she took her time walking over toward where he was seated. Looking up at her with his big eyes, a grunt escaped his lips when she smacked him firmly across the side of the face.

“Do you ever shut up?” Maggie repeated an earlier question, hitting at Negan’s face over and over again. Lifting his hands up, Negan tried to block his face, but her hits lowered to his chest and instead of fighting those, he let her do it. The face he wanted to keep safe so he could still think with his head when the time came, but if beating on him helped her release whatever was going on…he could handle a few bruises. “Do something!”

“No,” Negan shook his head with a grimace when she hit him determinedly in the center of the chest. There was confusion that flooded her face. A loud grunt fell from Negan’s throat when she reached out to slam her hand into the center of Negan’s throat making his head slam back against the wall. A pained sound fell from his throat that was replaced with shock when he felt her lips over his. The kiss was rough, but Negan didn’t react to it because he didn’t know what was happening. Frozen, Negan was utterly confused with her actions while she kissed at his lips with quite some strength.

When Maggie pulled away, Negan’s eyes narrowed out at her and he cleared his throat uneasily. Staring in Maggie’s vibrant green eyes, Negan knew that she was still furious with him. So, what the hell was happening here? Did he just picture that whole fucked up scenario in his mind? “What’s going on here?”

“Just, shut up Negan,” she demanded, her hand still sturdily placed over the center of his throat and Negan hummed when her mouth covered his again.

Part of him was fucking terrified still. How couldn’t he be? It just had been so long since he had the soft caress of another pair of lips over his. Because of that, his better judgement was slipping away. Gradually, he started to kiss Maggie back. The adrenaline was flooding through his body while she kissed him. There was a need to want to reach out and touch her, but he kept his hands firmly at his sides. Just now, he wasn’t holding back in returning the gesture with his lips against hers.  

“Fuck,” Negan growled out when she bit at his bottom lip and tugged on it with her teeth. Wincing when she looked him over with her big eyes, Negan didn’t know how to respond. Was that her angry at him for kissing her back? Was that her way of being rough? Pretty much right now Negan was staying still because he didn’t want to make the wrong move. His breathing had gotten louder and he watched her shift over him. When her hands reached out for his belt, he finally lifted his hands to grab a hold of hers. “You don’t want this. You don’t.”

“For all you know the two of us could be dead in the next few minutes Negan,” she reminded him and his eyebrows arched in curiosity when she said that. Sure, that would usually make someone look at sex differently, but sex with Maggie made him think he would certainly be dying within the next few minutes. It felt like some kind of trick from her end. “Now do us both a favor and shut the hell up.”

Against his sense of logic, Negan lowered his hands and watched her pull apart the belt in his pants. Truthfully, his breaths were panicked ones. Biting down on his bottom lip, Negan adjusted his hips when she struggled to get the material of his pants apart. When she got the zipper down, Negan felt her hand pushing beneath his pants to grab a hold of his manhood to pull it out into the cool air surrounding them.

Looking down, he watched her hand pumping over his length clearly working to get him hard. Licking at his bottom lip, Negan didn’t know if he should be asking her what was on her mind. Was she going to get him hard just to cut it off? At this point, that’s what he thought she was doing. So yeah, he probably sounded like a scared little bitch, but he was. With his dick out and his enemy being the one in control of it, that wasn’t exactly something he was comfortable with.

A deep rumble of a moan fell from his throat when his body reacted to the firm grasp her palm had wrapped around him. Even frightened he was getting hard and he cussed to himself wishing like hell he wasn’t having this reaction. Involuntarily, Negan’s hips arched up toward her closed fist that was pumping over his length. Damn, he wished this didn’t feel as good as it did. The moment was horrible. They had people after them. They needed to be quiet, yet here Maggie was giving him a hand job. That in itself was confusing enough.  

“Fuck,” Negan grumbled, his throat flexing while watching the determination in her eyes. Even though he tried to force himself to be quiet, muted moans fell from his throat. Dropping his head back, short jolts of pleasure filled his entire body and he didn’t know how to react. When he was completely solid in her grasp, he let out a wince and bit harshly at his bottom lip. “What’s happening here Maggie?”

Silence. Nothing in return to his question. Looking down toward his lap, Negan gulped loudly. There were a lot of thoughts running through Maggie’s mind. She wasn’t saying anything, but he could tell that there were so many things she was thinking about. The look in her eyes told him that. Maggie bit at her bottom lip before getting up. Pulling her jacket from her body, Negan watched it drop to the ground and his throat went dry. When she reached for her pants, Negan felt a warmth flood throughout his cock making him grunt. There was no lying that his body was excited at the idea of sex with the incredibly beautiful woman before him. Just, he kind of wished he knew what the hell the outcome of this was going to be.  

His thick eyebrows bounced up in surprise and a panicked exhale escaped his throat. Maggie was swiftly tugging at the material of her pants after she kicked out of her boots. When she kicked the material aside, Negan felt his mouth go dry. Licking his lips, he let out a shuddering breath when she moved in over him.

“Maggie?” Negan tried to get her to look at him to find some kind of reason as to why this was all happening. Reaching out, Negan tried to grab her face in his palms and she slammed his hands back down at his sides. Obeying, Negan kept his hands down with tension in his body. When she crawled in over him, Negan let out a sigh. Reaching down, Maggie pushed the material of her panties aside and Negan couldn’t help but steal a glance. Noticing that she was getting more comfortable over him, he couldn’t keep the idea that this was fucked up out of his mind. “Wait, are you sure about this?”

“What? You don’t want this?” Maggie reached up with her right hand to grab a tight hold of Negan’s throat again, putting a tiny amount of pressure on the soft spot at the center of it. Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat and his teeth gritted together. “That’s a shame. I thought you might be the kind of guy that likes to be dominated by a woman.”

“Well, yeah…” Negan stammered, his body quivering when he felt her warmth hovering just over him. In another world, yeah, he would have jumped right into this. No questions asked. Maggie was fucking beautiful. But knowing their past, knowing what happened…he was having a hard time having this all make sense. “I’m very interested, but I just…”

“Then sit back, shut up and enjoy it,” she ordered and Negan’s jaw flexed when she reached down between them with her free hand to caress over Negan’s solid form. Lifting her hips up, Negan kept his eyes hooked with hers. When the tip of his cock traced through her folds, a moan fell from his throat and his eyes got heavy with lust. “For the first time I think you’re speechless Negan.”

A grunt fell from Negan’s parted lips when Maggie lowered her body down his length. The sound of Maggie’s gasp filled the air and he felt her fingers clinging tightly to his shoulders when she attempted to brace herself. Damn, Negan wanted to touch her. To put his hands on her hips, but this was all Maggie.

Attempting to look down at her body lowering down over his length, Negan felt her bang his head back against the wall again making him hiss when she did it. Tugging her fingers through his hair, she demanded his eyes to be hooked on hers. The warmth of her surrounding him was almost too much to take. Watching her lips part and her eyes come to a tight close, Negan felt his heart pound harder inside of his chest. God, he was looking at Maggie in a new light and he had no idea where this would leave them afterwards.

By the time she lowered over him completely, Negan lifted his right hand and slid it in over her side. Grasping loosely to her body, he was surprised that she didn’t force it back or yell at him. Maggie adjusted herself over Negan, trying to find the right positioning to keep herself comfortable before her hips started to raise over his length before lowering again.

There was a fire flooding Negan’s veins while he watched her face scrunch up. She was taking her time getting used to his body and it was causing chills to run through his whole body. Grunting, Negan felt Maggie’s nails biting into his shoulders from where her hands were grasping firmly at his shoulders to help her movements over him.

Each roll of her hips over him had started to become more confident. The rocking of her hips up and down had become steadier, fluid movements. They had to be quiet, he knew that, but he couldn’t help the occasional moans that fell from his throat while Maggie had absolute control of his body. This was something he could never even imagine in his dreams. Even in his dreams he would have known better, so whatever was happening now was a mystery to even him.

“Maggie,” Negan spoke her name and she hushed him, lifting one of her hands to place it over his mouth. Each thrust down over him started to get more powerful and his eyebrows clenched. Pulling his head away, he wondered if she was thinking of someone else. With her eyes closed, he didn’t know what was going through her mind. Leaning forward, he claimed her lips in a kiss and it seemed to shock her when he did it. Negan was unsure of himself at first, but the more she seemed to get into it, the more he did as well. Brushing his tongue between her lips, he flicked it faintly against hers before growling out when he felt her dominant movements over him. “Fucking hell…”

Maggie was rough. She was using him the way she wanted and there was no fooling anybody. This wasn’t out to be romantic. This wasn’t out to be a gentle moment between the two of them to fix what had been happening. This was a hard fuck and she was using his body the way she damn well pleased.

Hissing out, he felt her biting into his bottom lip again and undoubtedly this time she broke the skin. Curling his fingers around the back of her neck, Negan let his thumb drag over her throat and down her jawline. There was a darkness in Maggie’s eyes that he hadn’t quite seen before. He hated to admit it, but he liked it.

Going to speak up, Negan felt the firm smack of Maggie’s hand against the side of his face and he made an angry sound. Instead of saying a word, Negan powerfully wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her in firmly to him. Using his strength, he helped her bounce her hips over him. Their breaths became more frantic when they started to work together. Another firm smack filled the air after she hit him again, but Negan took it. This was hate sex. That’s what she wanted, so what the hell? Negan was going to give it to her.

Starting to thrust his hips up from underneath her, Negan was matching her movements over him. Each time he would buck upwards toward her, a whimper of sorts would escape from her throat. Kissing her again, Negan knew that they were attempting to be quiet. The last thing they needed was walkers hearing them and drawing them to the house. Then it would certainly lead The Reapers to them.

The sounds of their bodies smacking together were loud. Maggie was grasping to him tightly, trying to take control of the moment, but Negan kept bucking his hips up toward her. Maggie’s body froze over him and he could feel her nails digging into the cotton of his shirt. Keeping up with the movements of his body beneath her, he watched her eyes slam shut. Her palms dropped to press in over his abdomen as if to try to stop his movements. Maybe she didn’t want to have an orgasm because of him, but Negan picked up on the want of her body and continued to use his power to thrust up toward her repeatedly.

With a cry from Maggie, Negan pulled her to him. He felt her body start to tremor and shake over him. His mouth covered hers and he felt her forcefully pushing into his abdomen to get him to stop when she reached that orgasm he had worked so hard to build up inside of her. With shaking, tremoring thighs and her body flushed, Negan took his time to admire the woman he knew fucking hated him over him. If things were different, he could easily find himself getting attached to a strong woman like this, but their pasts would make it impossible. The natural glow she had after having an orgasm made her look stunning to him. The hate still lingered in her eyes, but the pleasure laced into her expression turned him on so much. Visibly, it seemed like she was not exactly happy with herself that Negan had been able to make her climax, but her body certainly enjoyed it.

By the time she finally shook the feeling, her eyes lifted to his and she looked angry. With a firm shove, Negan’s back hit the wall again. Her right hand pressed in over Negan’s mouth and her left reached back to brace herself over him. It was the hurt leg she grasped to and Negan immediately let out a pained sound against her hand that was covering his mouth. Using the stability she had in the moment, she sturdily brought her hips over his again and again. It was hard to focus on what he was feeling most in the moment. The pain from the injury she was digging her fingers into or the incredible amounts of pleasure she was drawing out from inside of him while she had her way with him.  

Growling against her hand, Negan’s eyes slammed shut. There was a fire burning in the pit of his stomach and he felt the muscles in his abdominal area start to flex. Desperate moans began falling from Negan’s throat when he could feel his orgasm approaching with her forceful movements over him. A frustrated, mumbled sound pressed against Maggie’s hand when she lifted her hips from Negan before he could cum. Her fingertips wrapped around the tip of his penis where the head met the shaft forcing him to hold back on his orgasm. A pained yelp fell deep from his throat when his body was absolutely ready to fall apart.  

God, she was fucking torturing him with this. When he was denied his orgasm, she crawled back in over him and with ease her body slid back down over his. Shakily, Negan reached for her hips and tried to help move her over him so he could work his body back up to that pleasure point. Almost immediately though, she reached for his hands and forced them back against the wall over his head. Holding tightly to his wrists, Maggie continued to control the movement over him and Negan cried out into her mouth when she began to kiss him again.

“Please…” Negan begged noticing that her movements were rough until she felt him tensing up beneath her. Whenever he was close to coming, she would stop all movements and it had him a shuddering mess. Negan wasn’t one for begging, but his body was tingling. Everything was eager for a release of some kind, but she wasn’t allowing it from him. “Maggie, please.”

“It hurts to want something so bad, doesn’t it?” she hovered her lips over his and Negan’s eyelids were heavy with lust. There was a want in his eyes and she knew that she had him in the palm of her hand. “To be controlled in every way possible.”

Negan didn’t say anything, he just desperately tried to move his hips, but she had the power and the strength over him right there. Maggie’s eyes were locked on his. The grasp she had around his wrists was getting tighter and Negan’s lips parted. He was panting, his chest rising and falling repeatedly.

“I asked you a question, does it hurt?” she repeated what she had said and Negan’s head fell back. His eyelashes fluttered and he felt her adjusting his wrists so she had them hooked together with one of her hands over his head. Using her free hand, she smacked at the side of his face again making him grunt before she grabbed a tight hold of his chiseled jaw. “Speak when you are spoken to Negan.”

“Yes,” Negan finally gave in and gave her the answer that she wanted to hear. She was using his own words against him and he was picking up on all of the hints. “Yes, it hurts. It hurts a lot.”

“Good,” she nodded her head, keeping her hips still over his while he remained inside of her. “Now beg me. Tell me you want to cum.”

“Please Maggie,” Negan felt her smack him again and he winced when she did it. The side of his face was starting to burn, but the sensitivity of his body was increased from it. Her beating the hell out of him surprisingly turned him on more than he expected when her hips started to unhurriedly move again. “Maggie, I’m begging you…”

“Do it better,” she demanded with another smack and Negan felt her hips starting to bounce powerfully over his extremely aching body. He was ready to explode and he knew that. It wouldn’t take much more. His body was shaking beneath her. His thighs were tremoring and his thick jaw flexed.

“Please, I’m begging you with everything that I am, let me cum,” Negan whimpered and after a few more steady movements over him, Negan threw back his head and let out a roar of a moan. His jaw dropped, his body shaking when his orgasm started. His hips eagerly bounced up toward hers and he was surprised how good his release actually felt. When she stopped moving over him, she dropped his wrists down and firmly shoved his head back again. Pulling her hips away from Negan, he cussed out a slew of incoherent words while she shakily pulled herself back and away from him. “Fuck me.”

Licking his lips, Negan looked down at his aching body and felt butterflies in his stomach. No one had ever taken control of him like that before and he found himself in awe of Maggie. When his eyes connected with hers again, Negan could see that she was fixing her panties and reaching for her pants. While she was still sitting on the ground, she was tugging her pants back up her body.

It took Negan a while before he could even gain the strength to pull his pants back together. Pushing himself back beneath the material, Negan started buckling them back together and his throat went dry. Doing that had Negan looking at Maggie in a new light and he was surprised how just having sex with her could affect him so much.

Almost immediately, Maggie had herself put back together and she was looking out the window again. On wobbly legs, Negan managed to pull himself up and finish putting his pants back together. Taking the time to gather himself again, Negan moved across the living room and reached out to try to touch Maggie’s shoulder.

“Maggie…” he wanted to find out what that was. Yet, he felt her pulling away from him.

“I still fucking hate you Negan,” she informed him, looking over her shoulder at him and Negan’s jaw flexed upon hearing her say that. “I want you dead and it’s still taking everything inside of me not to kill you. It was just hate sex. That’s all it was. It’s changed absolutely nothing.”

“Okay,” Negan simply responded knowing that sadly, it changed some things for him. It wasn’t like he was in love with the woman before him, but he definitely was starting to see her in a different light. While he wanted to talk about what just happened, he knew better than to do that. She was done with it. She didn’t want to talk about it, so it was best for him to forget it. That was probably half the torture in itself. It was something he wanted to think about. It was something that felt so good, yet she didn’t want to acknowledge what happened. That was torture in itself. “So, what’s the plan boss?”

Maybe it was for the best for Negan to forget this all happened in general. Hell, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that, but this changed nothing for Maggie. And no matter how much he wanted there to be something more to this, he knew there wasn’t. It simply was what it was and nothing more.

[sokayisaidiot]

Why Tommy is one of THE BEST written characters in existence.

Alright, that’s it

Here I give you my fuckin Take on why Tommy is one of the best written characters out there and can easily compete with best-selling Novels like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter. I’m sick of a trashing that doesn’t even make sense. So buckle up. Here I will tell you why Tommy has one of the best written characters in history of Books and Movies. Remember, I write this all in my perspective and take many examples of other character books as well

Before this all starts, I will also talk about the main characters of some series, since Tommy has the reputation of being a “main” character.

When I look at the books I’ve read, I see a large range of characters and there way of making the story interesting.

Now, to establish a good character, we need key points of motivations, to make them relatable and bla bla blub:

Personality

Part of the story

Their Powers

Flaws

Relationships

Prized Possessions

History/the backstory

The moral and story the character tells

First tho, I want to explain some words I’m going to use here!

Mary Sue/Gary Stu:

Those are characters who are flawless, have missing chunks of personality and mostly one way written. They are easy to achieve when you are trying to make your character look badass.

Examples in some Fandoms are

·      Rey Skywalker (Star Wars Sequels 7-9)

·      Hermione Granger (Harry Potter Movies)

·      Bella Swan (Twilight)

Tree-System:

Imagine a tree. You plant something small and soon you have something giant with many branches, roots and connections. You have the seed you plant and with caring and care you let it grow. Then you have somewhat a sapling. The tree grows with the care and soon you have a tree with many branches.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality

Negative:

Tommy’s personality is very brash and out of control = He’s barely containable in fights, going off to do his own risky plans and starting two or so fights. He can’t forgive a person very easily like Eret, who took it a long time to get forgiveness and Techno, as he shot Tubbo at the Festival. He makes decision that also cost his life like the duel because he hates losing

Tommy can be very lazy, giving the thought he wouldn’t have to do the hard work = Shown when he tries to steal the hearts of seas from Eret or potions from Techno, bargain with “drugs” by Puffy and Ponk or gives other people the work he doesn’t want to do like he did with getting cobblestone

Like a child, he often clings to close people and annoys others for attention = His desperate attempts to have company or someone praising him shows, when he tries to get Philza’s approval (or a pat on the back), constantly looking out, if Tubbo’s either okay or where his is,

He doesn’t like to wait or doing things in the long run = He constantly asks when something is finished, when they could go or in his exile, when he was allowed to go back to L’Manburg

He doesn’t show often his cooled down, scared and vulnerable side = He often overshadows his trauma with a facade of jokes and bad hidden hurt he brings out. When he talks about something bad, he’s clearly confused, not really knowing on how to understand it. Also he runs away from things he can’t control a panic attack like visiting the final control room or looking away from the holes in Logstedshire

He runs without head into a battle so often as possible = Only when they had their final showdown for the disc, Tommy was seen preparing in story, thinking it would be his last fight

---

Positive:

But as he has negative traits, his positive shows to many people clearly.

His unwavering loyalty to the closest of people = His loyalty to Tubbo, Wilbur And L’Manburg are, were and always will be a part of him. He stands against anyone who goes against that, even if it means pain in many ways.

Passionate about dear projects of his = You can see Tommy talking about his discs or see an video where he would spent days getting different discs. Those things are very known to be rare things, so for Tommy to possess it gives him somewhat power. L’Manburg was the same passion, even a bit more, as you can see he was ready to give up his most prized disk. The last and in the moment is his hotel

Bravery like no one makes him as one of the dangerous person on peoples hitlist = He stands up for others. He stood up to L’Manburg. He in the end didn’t care that he lost a life. When he sees a foe, he won’t stand down and submit, he will fight against the oppression and tell them that in the face. During the mission to get a visa, he stood against Schlatt, even if they were clearly in the loose of people and disadvantage. Or getting an apology of Sapnap for killing Niki’s fox. Fighting against 5 people with just one ally while the other is a hostage.

His leadership = There are not many people who can take it up, but Tommy is an exception. He can coordinate people with his loud voice and somewhat thought plans. He is charismatic, even if he’s not so good at it like Wilbur, he still can motivate people to fight for themselves or others. He’s seen to lead others into battle and taking in the fighting part a leading role

Unselfish. That’s one of the most arguable things about Tommy`s character = You can´t look at a kid and say he is selfish because he wants to get something dearly back. Especially Tommy, after he gave the things up, he cared about. But if something is happening again, he will lay it down to do the other thing. As seen by the egg, he had a hard time thinking what to do. He, in a long time, didn’t want to be catalyst for something to happen. Not when he in the moment could have stopped it. So doing this act for himself ones, was a good decisions, since they clearly weren’t ready for war

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part of the Story

Outside of the story:

Let’s all just get something “straight”. What would Dream SMP without Tommyinnit. Now. Don’t get me wrong. All the creators on the SMP are amazing. They are all wonderful and deserve every bit of Attention and fame they get. But just imagine.

We heard from Tubbo, he was the one, who got him into the SMP. Schlatt and Wilbur came because of a “visit”. Quackity was added because TOMMY said he was bored. And from that, we got somewhat of a tree system. As Tommy was invited and drawn into conflict by Sapnap (shoutout to best boy!), he got more people.

He also has the highest viewership and kind of shortest streams, since he is doing college next to Youtube and Streaming. He can’t give up his high viewers since all of those 200.000 (average) – closing 650.000 People (doing something like a big lore stream in prison or the disc final), choose to watch him.

Also a reminder again, Tommy has his storyline as does everyone else. When we saw Tommy and Techno during the partner up arc doing something with the dogs, they saw the start of the red vines arc BUT said they were on the wrong storyline. Tommy was asked by the eggpire writers if he wanted to be a part of the story and he said yes. Why do you think he nearly says nothing about the egg. He leaves it to the writers. Also, it was said by one of Wilbur’s Character descriptions, that Tommy was okay with others doing something with his character, while Techno was more reluctant with his.

Let me say it again, every creator is awesome and individual! Nobody should be compared to others. But with Tommy coming to the Dream SMP, there really was a change in the game.

Remember, that’s because we also have a BT (before Tommy) and AT (after Tommy) Timestamp in the wiki!

Inside of the story:

Now, with Sapnap, Alyssa, Ponk and Tommy in the first ever big conflict its shown the importance. People assume Tommy is one of the conflict bringers, even though he was dragged in it by having something stolen by Sapnap and then forced to fight with him, to get it back.

The Consequences he’s got where having his discs get stolen. This is what Tommy’s biggest character motivation was the first two seasons. Those discs are known on the server and when you think about gifting something to C!Tommy, it would be a disc.

Techno = Disc Wait

Badboyhalo = Disc Pigstep, Chirp

HBomb = Disc Pigstep, Wait

Tubbo = Stal

LazarBeam = Far

Tommy is a openminded boy who longs for funny little adventures and pranks, since he is just a young person. It’s in his nature.

So why, when he does something, are people looking on him?

Because the things he was and is a part of some of the biggest events. And him being so loud and brave and rash lets him stand out. If you look at the old (hah) Revolution of L’Manburg, who can you hear talking the most and the loudest? Tommy and Dream. They were the most outgoing about the war with Sapnap, Tubbo and Wilbur following. Fundy was more quieter (thankfully he has so much more lore now).

Tommy’s character is known to fall or be dragged head first in almost every conflict. He has connections to who? Mostly everybody. So of course he’s connected big parts to the stories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Powers

Okay. Every “main” character or character with huge importance to the story has some kind of power. Looking at Dream, who is a “demigod” or Ranboo who I don’t even have to talk about. So what about Tommy?

Well. He doesn’t have any. Tommyinnit is one of the people, we get to have as an “human” character

Hannah = nature “Spirit”

Karl Jacobs = Timetraveller

Antfrost, Technoblade, Ranboo, Fundy = Hybrids

Dream = Something something green blob

Awesamdude, Puffy, Philza, Sapnap, Eret, Schlatt = Adding Features (wings, eyes, body parts)

Badboyhalo, Skeppy = completely different species apparently

Tommy has, as we know of the moment, a not confirmed power. The assumptions of the egg are not clear, since we haven’t seen those interact in a while. All we know is, Tommy didn’t get hurt, destroying a part and not feeling anything, while being in contact. That in canon considered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flaws

As talked before in personality and also in an assumption, we see the pattern of loyalty and brashness repeating.

Flaws are the most important parts of a character. It shows the struggle of their adventure and learning how to live with it.

Percy Jackson learned loyalty is nothing, if you don’t have someone to project it on.

Harry Potter and Luke Skywalker learned being a hot head didn’t really bring him forward and it’s important to have a plan

Frodo Beutlin learned that it is okay taking care of yourself and what attachment means

Anakin Skywalker learned fear is controllable and it shouldn’t be a remaining part of your life

Tommy learned over the time that his rashness could hurt others, loyalty couldn’t come back to him like he gave it out and he learns even more in the coming future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Relationships

Tommy’s relationships is a mess of strings. Some are badly knotted and some are very clear.

A characters connections is an important part for the character himself.

Relationships in life are

·      Enemies(-figure)

·      Rivals(-figure)

·      Friends(-figure)

·      Family(-figure)

·      Lover(-figure)

·      Complicated family(-figure)

·      Complicated friend (-figure)

Relationships are a part of everyone’s life. Not with everybody is a good relationship holdable. Either it’s because their hurting each other or another person. People change and that’s a part of life.

Tommy realized, even tho it hurt, that Techno wasn’t good for his mental state and health. It went against everything Tommy ever stood for.

And Tommy and Tubbo’s relationship wasn’t really that broken. It’s normal for friends to fight. Normal for them hit their heads in. Tommy and Tubbo were surrounded with people who were, at the time, a terrible addition to their mental life.

The Dream SMP doesn’t talk it out, hell the talking club was just destroyed because they preferred fists over words. So why do you think everything is going out with a fight, if it’s all they learned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Priced Possessions

Every character has to something a connection.

Might it be Percy Jackson and his sword

Might it be Harry with his glasses, broomstick and wand

Frodo and his stupid ring

For Tommy we all know it’s his ender chest inside and secret chest. He keeps many belongings in his chests and always has been one for those things. He kept flowers, compasses, Friendship signs and most importantly, his discs.

The care for something of items are important. Might it be a teddy, old photo or jewelry. People get protective over it, because it holds sentimental value to the person.

If you ask me, to let go of my teddy bear, I will show you my middle finger. Probably beat you up too.

You can’t just throw out your memories into a fire or pit of lava. This is just showing you never had a care and everything you had a memory with it before would have been gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

History/Backstory

We don’t have much here, but still something to work with.

A Hero doesn’t have an easy live. And it’s an said thing that every Hero needs an origin Story.

Tommy, said not really anything about his past.

All we know is that Tommy didn’t have anyone, presumably an Orphan, he knew the sleepy bois already a long time ago and he never learned on how to ride a bike, saying he never really had a family.

Signs that he didn’t even leave half a good life are:

·      his knowledge on stealing and preferring this over working for it

·      Liking to live in weird spaces like carved out holes in sides of hills (his hobbit hole or the basement by Techno) or living in his tent over a hole house

·      His liking of cobblestone and dirt, which are easy gettable blocks

·      Holding his goodies and friends close to him

·      Craving for attention or contact in general

And now for the part with the dream SMP.

We saw how it changed him. We saw his trauma and all the bad things that happened to him.

And that’s why we say his actions came from those past experiences and things. We are NOT excusing them, but showing. Past trauma CHANGES a person. It brings experience and a heavy amount of pain and anger. ESPECIALLY at a young age, you will change due to your experience in life. You will grow worried and anxious. Tommy did that. He grew more anxious, angry, scared and also experienced.

Stop saying trauma doesn’t explain it. Yes. It does. His lashing out came from his past and negative experience. Imagine growing up in a world where this is the norm. War and banishing. As well as death. Tommy has reasons why he is acting and does stuff.

Understand it. You don’t have to forgive him or anything. But understand it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moral and the story the character tells us

When we see Tommy, we see a boy who went nearly through it all. Mental/Physical Abuse, Abandonment, War, Suicidal thoughts, betrayal, Death, etc…

He doesn’t show forgiveness for his abuser. Still has signs, that he fights with the past abuse, but he tells us a story of learning from past mistakes, that even in the darkest hours, there’s a way out. Things will, can and be ugly and those are dark hours, but in no way should you think that it’s over. Life is more than one way and can always turn into a new direction.

Life takes something old away from you. Life gives you something new. You lose someone, you find someone new. Friends can turn into enemies. Enemies can turn into friends. You can meet the weirdest people. You can meet the most amazing people. You can be alone and in the next second, you’re not. You will often lose, but you also can win if you give everything.

Life can be weird and that’s okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Fazit (that’s german)

The thing is, he is very real for many viewers such as myself. He acts like how many teenagers his age reacts.

He doesn’t be “baby”, because he shows the “ugly” sides of trauma. He shows that attachments are good and you shouldn’t forgive your abuser. In no way. He shows that acting out and lashing out are two things that happen, when you have been in wars for many times and nearly just know that.

He has many flaws and mistakes but those make him even more real. He is showing how he is growing.

As a person, friend, (pseudo-)family.

He is real to many of the viewer since he doesn’t have any powers that are existing in our world to solve their problems. He knows that nobody would have helped him and Tubbo against Dream if he didn’t pay others.

Also that you can’t be friends with everyone and that it’s okay that not everybody likes you.

Tommy´s character is the most human and realistic character in a way of how we would react. We are humans who are lashing out and who are having ugly sides.

And also please stop saying that, since I really can relate to Tommy and I don’t want to be feeling like a “bad-written Character”…

And Don’t even get me started on Tommy’s acting dude!

He is one of the best actors and that one livestreams! In from off 200.000 – 600.000 People!

On the face cam alone is so much to see…  

·      You can see his face with each emotion shifting,

·      when something funnily weird happens, he looks dead eyes in the camera

The voice acting…

·      His breathing,

·      the stuttering in his voice,

·      THE GODDAMN EMOTIONS IN HIS FACE

HIS MUSIC CHOICE!

·      He changes the music fitting for the situations as in fighting scenes or funny moments.

·      He also has some funny bits with his music.

·      Like a goddam DJ!

The ingame character

·      His movements and head stares

·      The jumping around when he gets overactive

·      Long stops when he thinks or is sad!

You can see, I am a person from Tumblr and saw way too much bullshit around tommys character.

Stop critiquing him so badly.

You could say, I woke up and chose violence

>:D

[dasomlimie]

Heyyy! I hope ur doing okay if ur requests r open can l request reader asking if she can see whats under sanzu’s mask like that one scene in naruto where he tried so hard to see kakashi’s mask something similar and funny like that take ur time l love ur work <333

%% BEHIND THAT MASK! #!/

characters : aged up!—Sanzu Haruchiyo

a/n : i cant believe im rewrtiting this sorry if this is half assed tumblr didn't save my draft earlier, enjoy ig

Sanzu Haruchiyo..... your masked bf sometimes you were wondering what behind that mask but ofc you wanted to respect his boundaries and dont want to make him uncomfortable, but curiousity start to eat you alive so you have a little plan in your mind

sometimes there's a lot of idea in your mind on why Sanzu didn't remove his mask, maybe he have big lips that unmatched with his face future? or maybe he have crooked teeth? or even worse he doesn't have mouth! but you scratched the last idea since how did he speak if he doesn't have mouth? his nose? yeah that idea once stuck in your head but you decided to remove it because it doesn't make sense at all

you called Sanzu to meet you up infront of a restaurant which he agreed since maybe you were hungry and he is too, you greet Sanzu before taking his hand and walk into the restaurant with him

"today is my treat" you said smiling he raise an eyebrow you were cheerful more than usual "did something good happen?" he ask you shook his head "nope i just wanted to spend time with my lovely boyfriend" you said he nodded start looking at the menu

"are you ready to order?" he ask after a few minutes you nodded letting him call the waiter, you both said your order as the writer write down your order, you noticed Sanzu's order was a heavy meal he probably going to remove his mask

you smile to yourself before mentally patting yourself for coming up with this idea as soon as your food arrived you stare at Sanzu causing him to raise an eyebrow "whats up my love?" he ask you shook your head "nothing eat up" he nod "you too" you nod

you stare as he was about to remove his mask until your phone start ringing you look at the caller ID noticing it was your boss you look at Sanzu "eat first i have to answer this call" you said he nod as he watch your figure walking out from the restaurant

you listen to your boss rant about how her husband keep cancelling their date and how she think he was cheating on her while you were wondering why the hell your boss telling you all of this as she finally hang up you walk into the restaurant only to be greeted by Sanzu scrolling through his phone you blink

"oh baby! what took you too long? oh and im sorry i finished my food first i haven't eat since yesterday" he said giving you closed eyes smile you nod sitting "did you forgot to eat again?" you ask he nod "im very busy yesterday and just go to sleep as soon as i got home" he said you nod

attempt 1 : failed

"want some?" you ask offering your food he shook his head "im full already" he said you nodded visibly deflated "whats up pretty girl? you were all cheerful a while ago" he said chuckling you shook your head from side to side finding a reason and decided to use your boss phone call as your reason "she did it again" you said he pat your head

"did she start ranting to you again? what was is about?" he ask you sigh "about her husband this and that you know the usual why don't they just divorce?" you said leaning to your chair

"maybe you should find a new job if you were that sick of your boss personal life rant" he said you nodded "yeah i should" you said

the second attempt might make him mad but what is life without a little thrill and spice right? right.

you took a deep breath before apologizing gripping the tray in your hand you walk inside the room smiling at Sanzu you walk toward him then purposely trip yourself

you watch everything happen in slow motion how the juice flew and wetting his mask you cheer silently before your face kiss the floor you groan but being muffled by your carpet Sanzu gasp ignoring his wet clothes and mask

"y/n?! are you okay? oh my why are you suddenly become clumsy?" he ask as he help you to get up you have to swallow your image its not even 6 month into your relationship here you are doing stupid things just to what behind his mask

he hiss when he saw your red forehead with a little bloody lips "we should get that lips treated" he suggest you nodded "let me put this away your hoodie was in my closet along with extra mask" you said silently before walking out from the room leaving a little space for you to peak in

you feel your cheeks heat up as you watch his half naked body you silently cheer as he was about to remove his mask when your doorbell rang causing you to curse silent

you keep debating either to look and discover what behind your boyfriend mask or to answer the door you were deep in thought when Sanzu clear his throat his cheeks tinted with rosy pink just like his hair

"i didn't know you're that type of person" he said clearing his throat again you look up before cursing yourself "oh no you got the wrong idea let me go and answer the door ok?" you said walking a little bit too faster "be careful!" Sanzu called as he look you who almost tripped twice

attempt 2 : failed

you look at Sanzu as you keep following—more like stalking—him you tried to make sure you didn't lost him maybe he would remove his mask at the most random time especially when he's alone? yeah thats what you think ,you were now dressed in all black outfit paired with black cap and black mask

yup much like a stalker

you watch him keep turning and leading you to a dark hallways wondering what he was doing here, little did you know he noticed you following him but didn't have any idea it was his girlfriend

"fuck" you curse silently as you lost him you were about to take another turn when someone pull you to opposite turn you yelped both in suprise and pain when your back make a harsh contact to the cold and dirty wall you hiss from how strong someone's grip on your hands is

"who are you and why are you following me?" he ask you stay silent too scared to answer him, Sanzu chuckle "why are you all silent? acting all scared are we?" he said you shiver under his sharp gaze

"i ask you questions" he said you shut your eyes he sigh annoyed and start to loose his patients then decided to remove both your mask and cap you felt his grip on your hands loosening

"y/n?" he said in softer voice than earlier you still shut your eyes tightly slightly trembling "darling look at me" he said as one of hand slither to your waist while the other cup your cheeks thumb caressing your cheeks "open your eyes my love im not going to hurt you" he said you open your eyes slowly meeting his soften gaze

"why are you following me like that? i thought you were one of those people who tried to get me again" he said chuckling you didn't answer instead hugging him burying your face into his chest

"did i scare you that much?" he ask you shook your head as a no, you were actually embarassed of yourself for doing dumb thing to get him to remove his mask

"then why?" he ask hugging you close to him "im sorry" you said he raise an eyebrow "why?" "im sorry for doing dumb thing lately and following you like earlier" you said he chuckled you look up to him

"i get it now" he said removing you from him gently then cup your cheeks with both of his hands "you know you can just ask right?" you pout "i just dont want to make you feel uncomfortable" he shook his head

"you will never im actually waiting for you to ask me by yourself" he said you nodded "then can i uh you know" he nod letting you remove his mask

heart beating loudly Sanzu was prepared from any insult from you yet nothing came our from your mouth, does he freak you out? he was about to apologize when you whispered out a very unexpected word he expects you to say

"beautiful" you said he froze not believing what he just heard "what?" he ask for confirmation "i said beautiful" you repeat before caressing his scars with both of your thumb he sigh in relief

"really? i thought you were going to freaked out" he said you shook your head with confused face while your attention was still on his face "why would i?" you ask

"people always told me its disgusting i thought you would too but apparently not im relieved" you heart broke a little from his words "who the hell said your scars is disgusting?! let me beat them up" you said with determination he shook his head "its okay you were an absolute angel i cant imagine you beating people up" he said pressing a kiss on your forehead

"you look hotter without mask" you whisper he smile "is that so?" he ask you nodded then cover his face with his mask "and only me can see you my beautiful and handsome and hot boyfriend without his mask no one can see your full face they would fall for you" you said he chuckled before ruffling your hair

"whatever you say angel" he said you smile as he lead you out from the hallway just so your know he would use your silly attempt to tease you in the future

attempt 3 : successfully failed

!%! © HNEULWH— i did not allow my work to be used or adapted in any form without my permission !#//

[lololova]

Beyond the words - 47 reasons

Prompt: “Fic prompt I’m throwing out there: 47 Seconds arc - Beckett receives the DC job offer during the time Castle starts shutting her out.” Tweeted by @/bunysliper

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it! Until next time, xxxx

----------------------------------------------------------

Kate Beckett looks down at her phone, still not sure if she should call or not. How is she supposed to make a decision like this? She thinks back to the conversation with the agent from F.B.I. who’d said she’d be a great addition to the bureau if she decided to make an appointment for a job interview. She thinks back to how badly she’d wanted to tell her partner but he’d been nowhere to be seen. She thinks back to the case and how he’d all of a sudden literally been nowhere to be found every time she wanted to discuss a new lead with him. She can’t stop thinking about the glances of - what? Hate? Disgust? - that he’s kept throwing at her the past week. And she can’t think of a reason why.

“It’s like he’s pulling away,” she’d told dr. Burke no more than a couple hours ago.

“What are you most afraid of Kate? That he won’t wait for you, or that he will?” he’d asked back and she’d held back a groan.

The therapist was of no use when it came to the talking about her partner. He never gave her a straight answer when she asked something. And today has been no different.

“Argh,” she groans as she once again puts away her phone. She wants to smash something, anything. But she also knows it won’t actually help.

One part of her just wants to make the call, do the interview, get the job, move and never look back ever again. But another part of her can’t even fathom the thought of leaving her partner to never see him again. Not when they were so close! Which brings her back to the constant thought screaming in her mind for the past week. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THEM?! Why has he pulled away? Why doesn’t he text her anymore? Why doesn’t he answer when she calls? Why is it killing her? You know why it kills you. She shrugs the voice away, tries to ignore it and pretends she didn’t hear it. But you did.

Kate feels the tears prickle her eyes as she picks up her phone once again. But instead of calling the DC-number she touches the screen until she has the photo of him covering the entire screen. It’s a photo she took not that long ago. She’d actually taken it without his knowledge, even though he’s staring at her she’d managed to take it without him figuring it was a photo she’d taken with her phone, and he just looked so relaxed and so in love with her that it made her sick to the stomach. He hasn’t been looking at her like that since their bomb case. What did she do?

Before she can do anything about it her cheeks are wet from the tears and she can’t stop the crying no matter how much she tries. Can’t stop feeling the pain of her heart aching inside her chest. It’s worse than she thought at first because suddenly it’s also hard to breathe. She tries taking deep, calming breaths, but she has a feeling it won’t help fully. What she needs is confirmation from her partner, any type of confirmation. She needs to know if he still loves her or if she’s screwed it up completely. Without thinking she’s calling his number, phone to ear as she hopes he’ll answer for once.

“Hi, you’ve reached Richard Castle. Sorry I can’t come to the phone right now but please, leave a message after the beep.” Beep.

Kate doesn’t know what to say, and so she just hangs up. Instead she goes to messages, and starts to type one out. Before she knows it she’s clicked “sent” and can see the message turn delivered before freezing. She actually sent it.

-Please give me a reason to stay in NY.-

To her surprise he answers within seconds.

-What do you mean?-

She takes a deep breath before typing out a reply. -They want me to do a job interview in DC. And right now I can’t see a reason to stay.-

She waits patiently, hoping he will answer soon.

-What makes you think I have a reason? You’ll do whatever you want anyway.-

Ouch. She sighs, thinking about all the conversations she’s had with dr. Burke about her partner. -You’re the only reason I want to stay.- She writes it and sends it before she can regret anything.

When he still hasn’t answered after ten minutes she feels disappointment in the pit of her belly. She lets her phone fall out of her hands before she sets her steps towards her bathroom. Once in there she starts to strip her clothes off. If she showers it won’t be as obvious that she’s crying. He doesn’t want her anymore and he can’t even find the words to say it.

“What are you most afraid of Kate? That he won’t wait for you, or that he will?”

That he won’t, she decides. Everything had been going so great and she knows it’s her fault it’s all falling apart but she can’t for the life of her figure out what she did. It’s killing her not knowing, but she has a feeling that even if she’d get the courage to ask him she wouldn’t get an answer. She’d just get an “We’re fine”.

Kate’s so focused on her thoughts, on trying to calm down her crying and take deep breaths, that she doesn’t hear her phone ring. She doesn’t hear the knocking later on either. It’s not until she’s walking out of the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around her body that she’s realizing she’s not alone. When she sets her foot inside the living room she lets go of a yelp when she sees her partner stand by her front door.

“I-sorry! S-sparekey,” he says as he clenches his eyes shut. “You didn’t answer,” he adds and she holds the towel a little bit tighter around her.

“What are you doing here, Castle?” she questions with a hoarse voice. She hopes he doesn’t figure out it’s because of her crying.

She observes him as he puts his hands over his eyes as if he’s making sure he won’t accidentally look at her.

“You can’t leave New York,” he says and she feels her pulse quicken.

Is he going to say what she’s hoped for during the last week?

“Why not?”

“You’re needed here, your dad is here, Ryan and Espo are here. How are they going to keep their jobs if you’re not there to help them keep the closing rate up? You already have forty-seven reasons to stay so why did you send that text to me? I don’t mean anything to you so why send those texts to me?”

She takes a step back, what makes him think she doesn’t care for him? Again, what did she do?!

“What are you talking about?” she asks, her voice raspy and she can hear the desperation herself.

He sighs and she can tell he’s about as irritated with her as she is with him. Maybe even more. “Call your dad and ask him what to do, you listen more to him than me anyway.” He starts to turn around and she sees his hands go down to reach for her apartment door again.

Oh no. She’s not going to let him get away that easily. Not when he’s the one to come to her apartment. She takes quick steps to put herself in front of him, and therefore in front of the door, blocking his way out. And she’s suddenly well aware of their height difference.

“What are you doing?” he asks and she sees his widened eyes flinch down to her chest before they focus on her eyes.

“What did I do?” she asks, emotion raw in her voice without her intention.

She’s standing here, right in front of him, literally open and naked. Completely vulnerable. With only a towel separating his eyes from seeing her body, her scar.

“Nothing, let…”

“No.” She stops him by putting one hand on his chest. “Don’t lie to me. Castle, I’m… sick and tired of this behavior! Rick, just tell me what I did to make you hate me so much!” she can’t stop the anger and frustration and pain from starting to spill from her eyes as she starts sobbing again. And here she thought she didn’t have any more tears.

She hides her face behind her hands, grateful she’d fastened the towel before she went out to the living room. Her knees start to give out and so she simply lets them, slowly moving down to a seated position on the floor. She’s not sure what she’s supposed to do, if she’s supposed to do anything else.

“Beckett?” she hears his hoarse voice ask before he clears his throat. “Kate, what… what’s going on?”

She shakes her head, she can’t form words anymore. She’s just focusing on her breathing and her attempts to stop the breakdown she’s feeling. Why is this happening right in front of him?

“Hey,” she feels his hands land on her shoulders, his thumbs electrifying against her naked skin. “Deep breaths, Kate, deep breaths,” he says in a slow soothing voice which she finally recognizes as his. The real him.

And so she does what he says, she starts taking deeper breaths to calm herself down. He keeps mumbling the mantra as she feels her body start to relax and find strength again. When she’s breathing normally again she feels his hands let go of her as he’s slumping down on the floor in front of her. She carefully looks through her lashes to glance at him.

“You okay?” he asks when his blue eyes meet hers.

She bites her lower lip before she shakes her head slightly. “No,” she tells him honestly. “One part of me wants to take that job interview to get away from you.”

He gulps. “And the other part?” he asks carefully.

She takes in a shaky breath. “One part of me… just wants… you.” She just whispers the last word, too scared to say it too loud. She’s still scared he’ll leave her and never talk to her again.

“I don’t think I can do this partnership anymore, if you only want me as a partner in crime I… I don’t think I can do it,” he tells her and she feels her insides clench.

“What do you mean? I don’t only want you at the precinct,” she whispers as she looks up at him.

He’s avoiding her eyes, concentrating on the fiddling of a piece of the rug that’s been crippled for months now.

“I heard you,” he confesses and she wrinkles her forehead. “In interrogation you told a suspect you remember everything from your shooting. You heard me telling you that I…” he sighs, “that I love you. And I assumed the reason you haven’t told me is because you don’t feel the same way. I can’t…”

Kate shakes her head violently. “No, that’s not… I was not ready to… hear it or deal with my feelings for you just yet.”

He looks up at her and she looks down as her hand runs through her hair, only to stay at her forehead, leaning against it.

“Your feelings?” he asks and she nods.

“I like you Castle,” she confesses. “I really like you. And the thought of losing you…” she has to stop to try and get the lump down her throat as she sniffs. “Just tell me now if it’s too late for us, because I can’t… I can’t…”

She feels her eyes tearing up again and isn’t able to stop them from going down her cheeks. She knows she won’t be able to talk without breaking down again.

“I still love you, I’ve tried not to but I do,” Castle confesses and Kate feels her heart skip a beat before her insides start to melt with relief.

Without missing another beat she crawls over to him and throws her arms around his neck in a hug. She’s surprised to find herself falling as he’s losing his balance, ending with Kate laying on top of him with his arms around the middle of her body.

“Sorry,” she mutters but doesn’t move away. In fact, she snuggles even closer with her head into his neck.

She hears him gulp as his hands don’t seem to know where to stay on her back. That’s when she realizes she’s still in her towel. Only her towel. She starts to roll off of him, carefully placing her hands to keep the towel from falling off. As soon as she’s off she’s sitting up, eyes on him as he, too, sits up.

“Sorry, I should probably go… get dressed,” she says with a blush exploding on her cheeks. “Will you stay?”

He nods without a word and she has a feeling it’s because he’s surprised about everything. She moves to stand and goes to her bedroom, quickly putting on some clothes, including some black yoga pants and a gray N.Y.P.D. shirt. She picks up the speed as her mind starts to wonder if he’ll actually stay or if he might’ve changed his mind and gone again without saying anything. What if he decides it was a bad idea coming here? The second her shirt is on she’s leaving her towel on the ground to go and find out if her partner is still here. When she returns to the living area she does find him in her kitchen, brewing coffee for the two of them. He looks up at her almost immediately, as if he can feel her coming into the room, or he just heard her.

“You stayed,” she breathes out in relief and he nods.

“I made coffee,” he says as he pours the black beverage into two cups. “Figured we could use some if we’re going to talk.”

“Yeah,” she says in a breath as she nods. “Good thinking.”

As she comes closer he holds out one of the cups for her to take and she accepts it with a smile and a thanks. Once he has his own cup in his hand she’s gesturing towards the couch and they both go there to sit down.

“So,” he says as she takes a sip of her coffee, “you’ve gotten a job offer in D.C.?”

She feels a blush come on. “It’s only an interview, but yeah,” she says.

“And you’re planning on…?” he asks and she looks at him with fear in her eyes.

“No,” she quickly says. “I want… I want to be with you, I want you. I don’t want to leave, I don’t want our partnership to fall apart.”

“I don’t want it to, either,” he says and she smiles. “But,” he says and her smile falters a bit, “does this mean you’re willing to give us a chance?”

She bites her lip as she looks down in her coffee for a second before he looks up again to meet his eyes. “Yes.”

“Good,” he mumbles as he takes another sip from his coffee but keeps his eyes set on hers.

She licks her lower lip and sees his eyes spark in that way they usually do when she flirts with him, or he observes her and she does those little extra teasing acts she does sometimes. Now that she knows he still loves her, she can’t help but feel the want to tease him even more. She pulls up her knees on the couch, setting her arms around them with her cup on top in order to take sips a bit now and then.

“So, do you want to stay for the night?” she asks, stretching her foot towards him to nudge his thigh with her toes.

His eyes widen a bit before they narrow with his lips turning into a smirk. His free hand, the one that doesn’t still hold his cup to his lips, sneaks down and lets his fingers run up and down her foot, making her shiver.

“If you allow me to, I will,” he promises in that deep voice he’s used so many times without even knowing the effect it has on her. He will soon.

She nods, taking the last sip of her coffee before setting the cup on her coffee table. His soon joins hers and she locks eyes with him as soon as his fingers climb from her foot to her knee along with his body growing closer to her. She sits up and meets his lips halfway, the kiss a lot more passionate than either of them had intended. Probably because of all the tension between them that went unanswered for so long. Too long. His hand on her leg doesn’t stop at her knee but keeps stroking its way up to the hem of her shirt where it continues to slide under to end up at her hip, his hand slightly touching her naked skin at the hem of her yoga pants. She gasps at the feel of his thumb stroking her skin and his mouth immediately takes advantage of her parting lips by letting his tongue find hers. As his taste fills her senses she finds herself moaning and one of her hands lands on his cheek, her fingertips moving into his hair as she holds him close. She deepens the kiss which makes him groan with her and she smiles at that, their lips pulling apart.

“Thank you for coming tonight,” she whispers against his lips, her fingers caressing his scalp.

He pulls slightly back in order to look at her and he smiles. She giggles when he kisses her nose carefully. “Always,” he says their promise to her and she feels such relief to hear it once again.

She runs her teeth on her lower lip again as she lets go of his cheek to reach for his hand, intertwining their fingers. “I’m staying,” she says and sees his eyes fill with relief of its own. “I can’t say it just yet but I really want you. Just you.”

“I understand,” he assures her and she nods.

“Good,” she mumbles before she stands up and pulls him with her. “What do you say we go to bed?”

He smirks, but it’s so much more than just a smirk. “Lead the way.”

And so she does. And she doesn’t regret sending that text, desperately needing a reason to stay. She didn’t need the 47 other reasons he suggested she had, she only needed one. Him. And looks like she got it.

The end

[my2phetaliaheadcanons]

Hey hey heeey~ I just thought of something. What if from the order where the female reader country was forced to get married (That one from Germany and Russia) her boss tells them after a year of the marriage that they want her to get divorced and marry another country for convenience? Saying something like:

"Oh well, since we are better off there is no need for you to stay married to that country, rather I will engage you to another one from which we will get more benefit. Think about your people first and then how you feel, I don't care if you are both in love, you are someone very nice and outgoing lady, I'm sure any other better country will want to marry you."

Do you think it could be with the characters England, America, Russia, Germany, Canada and Sweden. All separately with 2p version and Yandere 2p? If you want to do it either way that's fine! Thank you very much

I only did four out of the six characters. This is because of my character limit is four, unless you ask for a specific group. You are more than welcome to request part two for the ones I didn’t do, or even a part one for the ones I did this time. A yandere version could also be written. Thank you again for the request, I hope you have a good day!

Russia – When his little wife comes to him with this appalling news Viktor will not be pleased. He had publicly declared that he loved you, and you had done the same. Viktor had also gone above and beyond in his duties as a husband. His love for you had led to amazingly beneficial for your people, and yet your boss wanted to end that.

Viktor, on the other hand, does understand that your boss wants what’s best for your people, but he doesn’t care. As long as you are healthy and he can help you, then there is no need for another. Viktor also carries the belief that divorce is only needed for extreme situations, and that other problems can and should be worked out.

In addition, if you are willing, Viktor is willing to raise hell to protect your marriage. He starts simply enough, pressuring your boss with his presence and offering details about why the two of you should remain united. Treaties and trade are the biggest pushes Viktor gives, but as time goes on, they become what Viktor uses against your boss. Many nations would avoid trading because of Viktor’s words, while enemies would start to rise from almost nowhere.

In the end, your boss will give in. Viktor is a big nation with lots to offer, he is correct in that he can not only provide for you but your people as well. So, why not keep letting him do so.

Sweden – Bernard only looks like he takes the news well. Though his hustru knows better, they can see the tightness in his smile. He is not pleased. Even if you thought had a fleeting feeling of just giving in to your boss, Bernard is there to remind you why it is important to fight for your marriage.

Being silver-tongued, Bernard has the benefit of easing his hustru while also convincing your boss to drop this evil idea. It may take some work, but Bernard is not easily dissuaded. He will spend hours with your boss, learning all he can while still dropping hints about how there is no benefit to taking you from him.

If it doesn’t work, then your boss gets annoyed. He won’t outright yell because Bernard has been nothing but diplomatic to him. Your boss may not even be able to deny the good points, but your boss refuses to give in. Especially since other bosses have sent in letters about marrying you to their nations. This is Bernard’s tipping point.

From this Bernard will resort to his final trick, disappearing. He has done with all kinds of people for all kinds of reasons throughout the centuries. Even though his own bosses have found some hiding places, they haven’t found them all. So, Bernard, will bring you both to the oldest one and hunker down until this is all done away with.

Since both of you are important, I can see this working. After like three months, your boss will give in and your marriage will be stronger than ever.

England – At the news Oliver is going to be shocked. He knew that bosses could be stupid, but he never knew that one would be so stupid as to cross him. His shock turns into giggles as he walks over to you and gives a quick kiss. Smoothing your hair, Oliver lets you know not to worry.

Oliver is the king of getting his way. He comes on strong because he wants to make sure that your boss knows why this should not go through. Firstly, Oliver is gonna send a box of cupcakes and a letter. The cupcakes won’t kill, but your boss is gonna feel all kinds of sick. Think the cupcakes Todd Packer gives out in the Office. The letter will be simply written, but still carry the deadly intent. It contains details about what should happen if your boss would continue to attempt to destroy his marriage.

You won’t be able to warn your boss about any of this, because you’ll be with Oliver, enjoying a wonderful date. He also won’t tell you that this is his plan. The only clue you get that anything happened is a phone call.

The call pretty much your boss apologizing for attempting to hurt you and saying have a good night with Oliver. After you two celebrate, Oliver will call your boss. He tells your boss a simple thank you, before walking over to cuddle with you.

Germany – This lazy guard dog gets aggressive once in a while, and this is that moment. He is your husband; he has given himself to you and only you. If you can’t stop your boss, he will. The thought alone of you being taken, causes his angry burns so intensely that he starts to turn red. His breathing gets ragged, and Luther grabs the nearest phone.

With the phone in hand, Luther dials your boss. In those tense few seconds of silence, attempts at calming him down only lead to him pulling you to him. There he just pets your head, until your boss answers. Not even a syllable is spoken before the grilling starts.

Words of anger, betrayal, and threats fly from the mouths of both parties. It takes about five minutes before the phone is angrily thrown down. Pulling you even closer, Luther promises that he will fix this and ensure that you two will remain as one.

Luther’s next choice of action is to use his resources. First, he will go to his boss. Offer deals in ways that could help you two remain together. If they work great, Luther will return to his laid-back self, if not then it's gonna get scary.

Luther calls on favors that he’s been owed. It adds up to quite a bit and tell them all to either drop their courtship or face his fists. This works for many nations, there are many recalls and a huge drop of interest in you. Those that still persist, Luther calls in the rest of the Axis for help. He will do the beat down, but the rest of them help keep away the allies of the offender.

In the end, you two win. Mainly because everyone realizes Luther loves you enough to give up his lazy lifestyle, and this leads to no one wanting to court you. Luther’s aggressive state will calm with the news, and he will go back to being a lazy guard dog. Always close, giving you affection and you two will celebrate like true husband and wife.

Yandere Version: So, the yandere version of this story would have ended differently. There would have been more stalking, and preparations made by the nations to ensure that their sweet little ray of light remains theirs. Also, in my opinion, yandere is a horror trope and as such having them as her husband would be horrific. Unless Stockholm syndrome takes hold, it's only gonna be bliss for one party.

Russia – As a yandere who had his родная within his arms, Viktor is willing to go to war to ensures that she stays there.

It will start simply enough, like his normal self, Viktor will mention lists of why they should remain together. Similar things as before, but his patience is much shorter than before. As in, the second it is confirmed he has a rival, hell will be raised.

Yandere Viktor does it very simply. Starve your country out. It starts with blockades, the intimidating huge Russian warships start to affect trade. Then it escalates to raiding incoming ships and shooting down planes. It is nothing pretty, and your country will struggle to fight back against this world power.

As your citizens suffer, you will start to feel ill. Viktor’s hurt by your pain; he doesn’t show it though. Instead, he holds you close, doing his best to comfort you. Running his fingers through your hair, asking what you need, administering medicine, and more. Though, there would be times when you are alone because of Viktor having to lead the charge against your people. After all, he was the one that wanted it.

In the end, your country is on the verge of collapse. So, they give into the Russian Government, maybe even suggest a merger. Viktor is pleased that you won’t be taken from him and didn’t even have to resort to full-out war. Viktor is saddened at your ill state, but he promises to help you rebuild, after all his influences will help make it all better.

Sweden – Bernard is quick to act the second he realizes that your marriage is under threat. He has a horribly awful plan.

First and foremost, you are hidden away. Just like normal Bernard, he will use one of his oldest and best-hidden hiding places. For anyone that is curious, his best hiding spot is like a big hobbit hole. Deep in the ground, warm and cozy. That little piece of nerdiness is where you will stay. It’s nice until you realize that only Bernard knows where the door is.

Well, Bernard then goes on the offensive. Taking care of any challenges that threaten his spot as your husband. Eventually, that’s not enough, so Bernard decides to target the source of his marital distress, your boss. With the begrudging help of his brothers, they take your capital. This is where you start to feel ill. For as your capital burns, so do you.

Once your boss is cornered, a simple secret declaration is signed. It is a law that decrees that you shall never be taken from Bernard. As nations, no regular citizens shall be alerted to this new law and it leaves you tied to him. After all, it is said until death do you part.

England – Oliver acts very similarly to his yandere self. Though he is much more direct as a yandere.

Yandere Oliver walks into your boss’ office the moment he hears about this foolish plan. His sources, the flying bunnies, would ensure that he hears this plan before you even have a chance to. At this point in your marriage you have finally calmed down, started to accept your place by his side, and he will not risk having you riled up again.

His smile will be like an angered Cheshire cat, wide and tight. No one will want to interact with him and those that watch him pass will pray for his victim. Once he corners your boss and making sure that no one will interfere, Oliver wastes no time drawing his knife.

He is clear with his threat. Let him and his dearie stay together or face a deadly curse. One that would affect all the choices he makes, and yet somehow not harm you in the slightest. Even if your boss gave in to Oliver would make sure scandals would abound, and hopefully, this would push him to either resigning or causing trouble. If your boss causes more trouble then he would have no choice, but to act on your behalf, and kill him.

In the end, Oliver got his wish. You two are still together, and the troublemaker is gone.

Germany – As a yandere, Luther will appear calm at first. It will feel like a trick being played by his kitten. Another attempt at getting away, that is until his own boss calls him.

After that phone call, Luther is quick to start fighting against the order. He starts by asking if you know of anything that could be used against your boss. Scandals, blackmail, family, or even secret pleasures that he could use to his advantage. If you don't give it willingly, then he's gonna force it out of you. Whatever you name, Luther is gonna use.

From there it is simple Luther has his own government back him with whatever info you had forced out of you. It makes for an interesting engagement with your boss. He isn’t happy with what happens, but he is willing to work with the German government.

At first, your boss may just extend the time you two are married. Maybe it’s another year or only a few months, but Luther will take it. This gives him more time to figure out something more damaging.

That more damaging thing is killing off your boss. Luther reasons that if he kills off your boss, the next one will keep you together. Luther will do it up close and personal, using his brass knuckles and then his firearm to finish the job. Sure, your nation will be in flames, but his government can clean up the pieces.

From there it's simple, he helped you in a crisis, and now your marriage is secure.

[pokedash55]

ULTRA LONG TIME TWIN HEADCANNONS

@sippin-on-waterfalls your post is ready

From Pokedash and Purplefern

Ooooooookay here we go.

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-Krux perceives time slower than others so he is easily late to events (plus he gets distracted and way into projects so he can easily lose track of time, ironically) so he could end up missing a lot of Elemental Alliance meetings

-Acronix made sure he informed Krux it was time to go (whenever he remembers, anyway) otherwise he’d be uber late all the time. Good thing they always go together

-Acronix is super early all the time because of his powers and he and Griffon Turner’s grandfather got along really well

-All the same, between lack of attention span, focusing on other things, and not caring for the meetings in general, Krux and Acronix miss a LOT of meetings 

-Before alliance meetings Wu is training little Morro and the Twins and the Master of Speed just waltz in the monastery doors an hour early

-Acronix teaches Morro some sick fighting moves (some rather underhanded)

-Krux advises him to never let people get away with harm cause you are the most important thing in your life. (Revenge!)

-Wu be like plz stop encouraging my kid into violence and dishonorable tactics.

-Krux brought refreshments to an EA party exactly once. It was pickled beet tea and nobody liked it. He took it very personally. 

-Back during the war, the love triangle with Misako was actually a love rectangle. Krux had a crush on her too but he literally had no idea how to act on it so his part of the rectangle was staring at her longingly from afar and not saying anything. 

-Yes Acronix teased him immensely about this. And tried to act as a wingman several times but Krux swore if he did he would murder him 

-Pre-series, Misako would do work for the museum a lot, so she ended up working with Sanders Saunders quite often. Despite her relationship to Wu and Garmadon and their “history”, he did like working with her ok

-They both also worked with the Explorer’s Club a lot, and have equal disdain for Cecil Putnam and Clutch Powers 

-Krux hates Cecil’s stuffy rules (even though he couldn’t show it while being Dr Saunders) and Clutch’s….everything

-Krux’s doctorate is real, and he has a doctorate in History and and Master’s degree in Museum Studies 

-He’s the Curator of History at the museum, and the other curator is the curator of natural sciences 

-Acronix is a big nicknames guy. He doesn’t usually call people by their actual names. Only the people he actually cares about or that he super hates. 

-But he also generally despises nicknames given TO him. The only people allowed to call him Nix/Nixie are  his brother and mother (and later Shannon). 

-Krux only calls Acronix "Nix" if he's feeling particularly vulnerable/scared/etc (so like, when being the older twin isn't feeling that fun and he decides to ignore those 3 minutes and be more like the "younger" twin.) So this becomes a lot less as he becomes more arrogant. 

-(Based on how he describes Dareth getting beat up by the Vermillion warrior) Krux likes watching wrestling. It’s a guilty pleasure of his 

-And of course Acronix loves it once he learns about it, so the two watch it together 

-Krux occasionally plays strategy board games. He tried to get Acronix into them but he found them boring. 

-(Sometimes he’ll suck it up and play with him anyway, though.) 

-Both are sass masters

-Both also like science

-But like completely different facets of science. 

-Krux of course likes the more stable and earthy sciences. Biology and geology, ecology. Those elemental science that have always existed but we just haven’t yet understood them

-Krux is also a total history nerd. Things like paleontology and anthropology are also really interesting to him 

-Yes he was a dinosaur kid. (Especially since dinosaurs had just started to be discovered back in his day.) 

-Acronix of course likes advancement and the otherworldly sciences. Technology, Astronomy. Sure we build upon the discoveries of the past but what about creating something new for the future? 

-Acronix does like bioengeneering since it is a new advancement but he knows saying so would make Krux grin with “I told you bio was cool” vibes

-Krux can engulf himself into his work or his schemes for days. As he is very patient. 

-Acronix is less so. He sees time constantly moving forward so sitting idle to “Plan” seems a ridiculous waste of time. 

-He jumps from activities quickly as the novelty of it wears off and he is always on a quest for what's new and what may work, not really what has been confirmed to work

-Krux of course sees this as a fool's errand. We need to respect the knowledge we have and use it and plan with it. 

-But when they are in sync you should be SCARED

-Both thinking in the Present can make them in perfect harmony, Both in fighting and talking.

-Their different planning methods can help eachother get things done. So yes, when they work together you should be scared 

-Krux can get really fixated on an idea, and get into major creative blocks. Acronix helps propose out of the box solutions that keep his ideas moving forwards that he wouldn’t have thought of himself. 

-But as we see they can also be reeeeallly different and fight over the miniscule things.  

-Krux lingers on Grudges easily as he physically cannot not put value to the events of the past.

-Acronix’s main grudge with the alliance came from his ego and arrogance, not his element. I think he feels very internally about wrongs to him in the moment but if he sees nothing really changed a couple of days later he loses interest in holding such a grudge easily

-Each of them have the ability to not be affected by the other’s powers

-Acronix has no patience to listen to anything he doesn’t want to hear. Back when he had his powers he COULD and WOULD just “skip” peoples’ dialogue if he got bored of it. 

-Krux has a bad habit of “freezing” people if he feels like they’re interrupting him. Like, he will freeze people who are trying to get him to stop working on something while he’s trying to get something done, and then get back to them when he feels like it. Everyone has to work on his time. (Annoyingly, this does not affect his brother, which is why Acronix is the only one who can actually get him to stop working on his projects.) 

-Whenever Krux & Acronix would hang out with Chen, Acronix loved messing with Clouse. Clouse reminds him of his brother, but even more stuffy and annoyed somehow, so he just has an instinctual urge to annoy him as much as possible. 

-(Clouse does not appreciate this, but Master Chen says they’re “important” to his plan so Clouse just suffers quietly.) 

-Acronix likes the Master of Speed, but also finds it annoying that he can resist his slo-mo powers by going really fast. (On the bright side, though, this does make him the closest thing to an equal he’ll get for a sparring partner, if Krux doesn’t want to train with him for whatever reason.) 

-Because of his element, Sound is one of the rare people who doesn’t really mind Krux but REALLY dislikes Acronix. Acronix is just so loud all the time and it physically pains him because he is so sensitive to vibrations and volume. Krux is generally pretty quiet so doesn’t bug him as much. 

-Acronix is an Entrepreneur (ESTP)  and Krux is an Architect (INTJ) 

-They have no Feeling whatsoever

-Otherwise, they are complete opposites

-Both of these personality types hate rules, regulations, and micromanaging restricting authority figures (hmm, wonder why they broke away from the alliance…)

-Acronix is arrogant in the way that he doesn’t care about his flaws, because obviously he is awesome and everyone else is just jelly, Krux is arrogant in the way that he hates people pointing out his flaws, because shut up he doesn’t have any 

-Their mother is Polaris, they take after her physically 

-Father is Kronos, they got their powers and ego from him 

-Their father actively encouraged them to have immense pride in their element -- being the former master of time himself 

-Ordered them the sweet matching armor

-He was a samurai back in his day, which is why the Twims wore samurai helmets.

-Between their two loving parents, the Twims were nearly spoiled 

-Krux and Acronix grew up pretty rich, Kronos was pretty much high society and Polaris was too 

-They went to a fairly fancy private school growing up

-But everyone there were snobs so they didn’t get along well with their classmates (what a surprise)

-Their parents died in a skirmish with Serpentine, leading the Twims to join the alliance full of vengeance. 

-Acronix has a battle scar from being grazed by an anacondrai sword on his left pec cause I said so

-Also a lot of misc snake bit scars and a burn scar from that one time (Ray’s got a bad temper and Acronix likes pressing people’s buttons, so that went super well)

-Acronix super cares about his looks so has a ton of, like, haircare and beauty products. Krux has a single bottle of 3-in-1 and a bar of soap and says that that’s sufficient. 

-Back in the day Acronix had a bunch of oils and whatever for his hair, and when he’s in the present he’s got a bunch of fancy shampoos and such.  He’s definitely the vain one of the two twins

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A collection of Neurodivergent Twims HCs

-Acronix has ADHD and Krux is autisitc

-Acronix is early, but only to things he remembers. He often forgets dates. And Krux will get involved with something else, and has a warped sense of time. Together, the two miss a lot of EM meetings 

-And when they’re at them, neither of them are good at conversations. Acronix talks a mile a minute and doesn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. Krux either doesn’t talk to anyone or similarly dominates conversation and doesn’t let anyone else talk. 

-The two also get sent on solo missions alot

-They don’t focus well in a group setting (Acronix generally ignoring the plan for what he prioritizes as the better option and krux simply not being popular with the others and only really battling well beside his brother)

-They are generally strong enough to protect a village by themselves

-The other EM work better with them out of the way since they are “annoying” and no one really likes their arrogance, pride, or entire personhood

-They seem to be happier working only together than with the whole group

-Once during a group charge on a collection of Serpentine races Acronix notices a horde heading in a different direction and follows them impulsive

-All of these things together make them especially unpopular with the other EMs

-Especially with the Master of Ice, who considers their actions disrespectful and often scolds them on their behavior 

-Krux and Acronix can BOTH get hyperfixated on things they are interested in, and can also forget to eat and sleep.

-Acronix struggles with insomnia a lot because his brain doesn’t shut up. Luckily his brother never really sleeps either. They spend a lot of long nights talking about nonsense 

-Acronix tries to use time skip powers to not waste time while sleeping. He skips the night, but he still didn’t get sleep. He crashes after a few days of this and Krux tells him that he’s a moron 

-Acronix has a fidget spinner, which he got for the memes but ended up finding unironically helpful, and gives Krux a fidget cube (which Krux reluctantly accepts and actually does use pretty often.) 

-Before learning what a fidget spinner was he would flip his phone a lot. It was both an easily accessible stim and assurance he knew where it was cause he tended to leave things around at random. 

-Krux used nail-biting as a stim, mostly because it can appear pretty neurotypical 

-Acronix is “annoying” around the ninja during his lil redemption arc, but instead of reacting like the elemental masters, the Ninja actually do research and come to an understanding (especially Zane, who is perceptive, understanding, and has an instantaneous link to the internet). 

-Altogether he’s a little surprised when they actually put effort into tolerating and understanding his differences. Huh. How’s bout that? 

-Jay is also pretty understanding, he’s got a lot of nd cousins and has ADHD himself so it’s kinda just *shrugs*

-Modern dyes and preservatives really trigger Acronix’s ADHD to be even worse than usual. 

-Zane picks up on this, and like the mother hen that he is starts to put in a special effort to keep dyes away from Acronix (or to keep Acronix away from dyes, as the case may be)

-Jay has a similar problem with dyes (which Edna let the Ninja know about, thanks a lot ma ) so Zane works double time to keep them both away from dyes

-Makes special dishes that are “ADHD safe” 

-Neither appreciate it (well Jay does but will complain openly at every chance he gets)

-Acronix got into a lot of trouble with their dad when he was a kid, because he just couldn’t pay attention 

-Has bursts of anger a lot, oftentimes this happens during things like parties or pre-meeting conversations. (which easily leads to him getting a label of “aggressive” or “hotheaded” by the EMs) 

-DEFINITELY struggles with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria

-Ninjago history is Krux’s special interest 

-Krux freezes people around him when he needs a sec to destim

-Krux is pretty high-functioning, but is on the borderline. He's high-functioning enough to be aware of himself and mask, but not enough to avoid things like shut/melt downs 

-Acronix is fiercely protective of his brother whenever he shuts down. Messing with Krux while he's like that (whether the antagonist is aware or not) is a one way ticket to his wrath as well as physical punishment. 

-Whenever things got too intense at a meeting/party type thing, Acronix would ditch and sneak them both out whenever Krux was heading towards a shut down. Being the awesome supportive twin that he is, he learned to pick up on the signs of one and was certain to prevent them pretty much whenever possible. 

-Acronix failed in his efforts only once (he was kind of sick that day and wasn’t at the top of his game to be keeping a watchful eye on his bro), and Krux kind of ended up time freezing a few of the EMs in the process. It was something the elemental masters (or Krux himself)  did not soon forget or forgive. 

-He'll go nonverbal sometimes, to the minor aggravation of the alliance. Sign language isn't a thing yet so anyone trying to understand him when he's like this are pretty much reliant on Acronix and his twin sense to translate. 

-When their parents died Krux went nonverbal for a little over a month. 

-Krux was pretty delayed in learning to speak, he didn’t say his first word until he was 3 ¼ 

-Even during his redemption arc, Acronix does not tell the Ninja about Krux's autism, from a built in fear that the knowledge would be used against him in possible future battles. (Also because he knows Krux wouldn't want them to know.) 

-Krux doesn't just hate phones because “ugh technology”, he also just hates talking on the phone because it’s super difficult

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK there are way more that we have but... did you know there is actually a word limit on Tumblr? Heh heh... If you want more Twim goodness you can read our extensive fanfic collection... or maybe we’ll make a part two (That’ll probably consist of Home life pre-war stuff, post-canon AU junk, Vermillion family nonsense, and more random stuff)

[specialagentsergio]

wish i were

summary: Emily’s back where she belongs, but she’s learning that you can’t come back from the dead the same as you were before. Spencer’s reeling from betrayal and broken trust. Then there’s you—their safe port in the storm. But you’re not okay either, and you have a choice to make.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: lots of swearing, mentions of/implied sex, mentions of vomiting (nothing descriptive), fighting, negative feelings towards other team members, bittersweet ending

a/n: it’s finally here. thank you all for your patience. i wasn’t planning on posting angst and unrequited love on valentine’s day, but i don’t want to wait another day to post this; i’m kinda sick of looking at it tbh. anyways, i hope you enjoy it and it lives up to your expectations. sorry it’s so long. apparently i have a lot to say.

word count: 8.7k

series masterlist || masterlist

Ten weeks ago.

“Absolutely not,” Emily croaks out. Her voice is rough and broken from the breathing tube, and it hurts her throat to speak, but she ignores it. “No. I won’t do it.”

She can hardly believe what she’s hearing. She’s only been awake for a few hours and she’s already fed up with the bullshit the world is throwing at her. Right now, it’s in the form of her boss asking her to fake her own death. “You can’t seriously think this is an acceptable solution.”

Hotch is unreadable, his unit chief face firmly in place. “It’s for your own safety.”

Emily scoffs, then immediately winces at the pain that shoots through her midsection. But she continues. “So put me in a safe house or something. I’m not making my friends bury me.”

“It’s for their safety as well,” he replies. “Doyle’s still out there. He’s targeted them before. You know he’ll do it again to get to you if he finds out you’re alive.”

“Then let them in on this,” she argues. “They can keep a secret.”

His expression slips—just a little bit, but she sees it. It’s hesitance.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” she asks, a feeling of dread settling over her. “I want to see her. I’m not making a decision like this without her.”

Hotch folds his arms over his chest. “It’s not your decision to make, Emily,” he says quietly. “It’s already done.”

Her breath catches in her throat. She looks him up and down, searching desperately for any sign that he’s lying, that this is all just some cruel joke, that any second now you’ll be walking through the door, a smile on your face—

There are none.

Her lungs burn and she’s forced to take in a breath. “You son of a bitch,” she whispers. “You... son of a bitch. How dare you? How dare you.”

He doesn’t so much as flinch as her voice increases in volume, which only serves to make her angrier.

“How fucking dare you! You let me see (Y/N) right now, you bastard!”

The door opens—her heart leaps—

It’s JJ, who, if Hotch is to be believed, is the only other one to know about this. JJ hurries to her side and reaches out, but Emily yanks her arm away.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she snarls. “You—” Her eyes land on the water pitcher on the table in front of her and she lunges forward, the searing pain it causes barely registering. She seizes it and throws it with all the force she can muster.

Hotch doesn’t move out of the way, letting it hit his chest and soak the front of his clothing. Its accompanying cup follows, then the TV remote. It’s not until she grabs the vase of flowers that he ducks out of the way. The glass shatters on the floor. All the while, she’s screaming obscenities at him.

JJ tries in vain to calm her down, holding up her hands placatingly. “Emily, please—”

“Don’t talk to me!” she yells. “You have the audacity to come in here and speak to me when you know I’m alive and my girlfriend doesn’t!”

“Emily!” Her voice is stern. “I understand you’re upset—”

“Don’t use your fucking mom voice on me, Jennifer, I’m not a fucking child—”

“What’s going on in here?” A pair of nurses enter the room, no doubt drawn by the commotion.

“She’s bleeding,” JJ answers immediately. “I think she might have aggravated something when she sat up.”

“She’s not supposed to be sitting up at all. What did you two do?” one of the nurses scolds.

“She just got some bad news—”

“Well, isn’t that a nice way to put it!” The nurses are trying to coax her into laying back down, but Emily resists it. “A really great way to describe the two of you trying to force me into letting my family and girlfriend think I’m dead!”

“I think some of the stitches tore,” the second nurse says.

“Go get the doctor,” the first one instructs an orderly standing in the doorway.

Movement catches Emily’s eye and she looks towards it to see Hotch taking a step backwards.

“Don’t you dare leave!” she screams. “I’m not done with you, you motherf—”

“Agent, please, you need to lie back.”

“And you two need to leave,” the older of the nurses says.

Then there’s a third person at her side. Judging by the white coat, it’s the doctor. “What’s the problem?” he asks them.

“She’s agitated and we think some stitches might have burst.”

“Damn right I’m agitated!” Emily cries. “They’re trying to—I—” She looks past the doctor to find that JJ and Hotch are gone.

“Emily, we’re going to give you something to help you relax,” he tells her.

Her vision goes blurry and she can’t figure out why until she feels the tears sliding down her cheeks. She lets the nurses push her back now and her head thumps against the pillow. “Please—” she chokes on a sob. “Please, I want to see my girlfriend.”

“What’s her name?” the doctor asks kindly.

“(Y/N). We’ve been together for almost a year. I need…” Her limbs are starting to feel heavy. “I need to call her, or—or something. She thinks… she thinks….”

“Shh, you’re okay,” one of the nurses soothes. “You’re going to be okay.”

Emily blinks slowly and shakes her head. “But she won’t be. She…”

The world fades to black.

---

There are tear stains on your pillowcase.

That’s the first thing Emily notices when she walks into your bedroom. She recognizes them so quickly because similar ones were on her pillows in Paris.

“Sorry, I’ve been meaning to run the sheets through the wash,” you say when you notice her looking.

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” She sets her bag on the bedside table, careful to jostle Sergio as little as possible. He’s in her arms, pressed against her chest and purring loudly. He definitely remembers her—she’d been a little worried that he wouldn’t.

Emily is absolutely exhausted. It has been a very long day. Doyle is dead, Declan is safe, and now all she wants to do is take a nice, hot shower and curl up in bed with you. But you haven’t been able to keep eye contact with her for more than a few moments at a time.

She expected something like this to happen. She knew once the relief of seeing her alive wore off, there was going to be a heap of more, uglier emotions surfacing.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

You glance up at her just briefly, busying yourself with stripping off the pillowcases and replacing them with a clean set. “I don’t know what to say, Emily,” you sigh. “I just… I don’t.”

She strokes Sergio’s back a couple of times to calm herself before replying. “You can say anything. You’ve been through so much, and I… I’m not going to hold what you’re feeling against you.”

You shake your head. “I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

It confirms her suspicions. “(Y/N), you’re allowed to be mad at me,” she says. “Hell, you could even yell at me if you wanted to and I’d be okay with it.”

You snort. “I don’t want to yell at you. But, um, could I ask you a question?”

“Anything.”

“Okay. Well…” You shuffle from one foot to the other. “I’m… not really sure how to ask this, but, how… how did this happen?”

Your voice is hesitant. You’re holding back, but Emily can read between the lines. “You mean, how could I let you think I was dead?” she corrects softly.

You breathe in sharply and wrap your arms around yourself. Your eyes are wet when you look up at her and nod.

Emily tries not to let her next words come out too fast, lest it seem like she’s dismissing your feelings or making excuses. “I didn’t get a choice.” Her voice cracks and she clears her throat. “When I came to after surgery, the funeral had already been held.”

Your mouth drops open. You stare at her for a few seconds, then blink several times. Your eyes move around, focused on nothing in particular as you try to process what she’s just told you. Eventually, they settle on the bedroom door behind her. “I’m gonna punch his face,” you whisper.

Emily can’t stop the genuine laugh that bubbles out of her. “Yeah, Hotch heard similar things from me.”

“Oh my god, Em,” you breathe out, and her heart skips a beat at the nickname. “That must have been awful.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t fun,” she admits. “But at least I knew you were alive and that I’d see you again someday. It can’t come close to what you went through.”

You shake your head. “This isn’t the suffering Olympics. It was harder for you in some ways than it was for me, I’m sure. Like, if I was waking up after being stabbed, I’d want my girlfriend there holding my hand.”

Emily’s eyes prick with tears as she listens to you, remembering how it felt to be at the hospital without you there to hold her hand through all the scary bits. But you? You had buried her, and now you’re here considering how Emily had felt throughout all this. She’s not sure if you’re actively trying to make her fall even more in love with you, but if you are, you’re succeeding.

“I can’t promise to never be mad at you about this,” you continue, “but I’ll take being mad at you for actually being alive rather than being mad at you for dying.”

“That’s… really mature of you,” she observes.

“I started seeing a therapist a few days after the funeral,” you say with a shrug. “Can you put Sergio down and help me change the bed sheets?”

She nods and places him gently on the floor. She’s about to ask why you’re wanting to change them right now, when you’re clearly just as exhausted as she is, when she finds a tie wedged between the top and fitted sheets at the foot of the bed. She frowns as she lifts it up—it’s not one she recognizes as yours or hers, but she does think she’s seen it before.

“Oh, so that’s where that went,” you say.

“I don’t remember you having a tie like this. Is it new?”

“It’s Spencer’s,” you clarify.

“Oh. What… what’s it doing in your bed?” she asks hesitantly.

“He would stay over sometimes when I couldn’t sleep and he’s too long—“ you spread your hands apart “—for either of the couches.”

“I see.” Emily smooths out the wrinkles in the fabric and crosses the room to put it on top of the dresser, trying to tamp down the sting of jealousy. The other side of your bed is supposed to be hers.

“Nothing happened,” you say and she realizes she’s frowning.

“I know,” she replies, and she does—she just wishes it had been her in the bed with you. But you’ve at least given her a good lead-in for her surprise. “Anyways, you wouldn’t have even had the time with the amount of online Scrabble you were playing.”

Now it’s your turn to frown. “How do you know about that?”

The corner of her mouth turns up. “I was there for every game, sergio2010.”

It takes you a moment to put it together. “You’re cheetobreath?” you ask. “I thought that was JJ.”

“It was her idea,” Emily says. “And that’s what you were supposed to think.”

Your reaction delights her—you start laughing. “That’s ridiculous!”

“I had to stick it to Hotch somehow,” she defends, barely holding back her own laughter.

You shake your head fondly as you finish tucking in the fresh sheets. Emily helps you spread the comforter back over the bed and return the pillows to their spots. She isn’t sure what to do after that, though, and nervously clasps her hands in front of her. You’re silent for a few seconds, watching her from across the bed.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” you say eventually.

“Um, okay,” she replies. “But you know, I could go stay at a hotel instead if you’d prefer.”

You shake your head. “You’re gonna join me.”

“Ah.” Emily swallows, part nervous, part thrilled. “That’s… I mean, yeah. Okay.”

You hold out your hand in invitation; she circles the bed and takes it.

After, when you’re both clean and settled into bed, she pulls you as close to her as she can. “This is so nice,” you sigh into her skin. “You’re so soft, Em.”

Her eyebrows furrow. “Um, thank you?”

“Spencer’s bony,” you explain.

Emily snorts. “Yeah, I know. I fell asleep on his shoulder on the jet a few years ago and it was painful.”

You giggle. “Did you know he talks in his sleep?”

“Morgan’s mentioned it. You learn anything else when you were snuggled up with him?” she teases, running her fingers through your damp hair.

“It wasn’t like that,” you protest. “We didn’t snuggle. I’d just kind of… press my forehead on his arm and one leg against his.” Your voice lowers as you continue, “I just really missed being close to someone.”

“I did, too,” she whispers back. “I wish it had been me, but I’m glad you had him.”

You nod against her in agreement. “I love you, Emily,” you say, briefly tightening your grip on her.

“I love you, too,” she replies, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “So much.”

You drift off to sleep quickly, and she’s not far behind.

It’s the best sleep she’s had in months.

---

Spencer’s barely heard from you since the hearing last week.

He’d gotten plenty of texts from Jennifer (all of which he ignored), but only a few from you. That’s probably normal for most adult friends, but not for you two, especially so when the fact that you were the only two people not to apply for reinstatement to the BAU is taken into consideration. He thought that he’d be able to seriously talk about it with you, to share his feelings and maybe work it out together. But all he had gotten was a brief message:

Emily was reinstated, so I’m going back, too.

It left him frustrated, but when it came down to it, he understood—he was the same. Since you were going back, so was he.

On Monday morning, everyone’s first day back together, he gets off the elevator and is immediately confronted with the last person he wants to see.

“Hey, where have you been? I wanted to do brunch this weekend,” Jennifer says.

Spencer barely resists rolling his eyes, instead keeping them fixed on the file he’s holding. “I had to deal with some stuff with my mom.” It’s not a lie—he did have to check in with his mom. It just didn’t take as long as he’s implying. “Have you seen Garcia?”

“Uh, she’s with Rossi,” Jennifer answers, and she sounds startled by his behavior, but he doesn’t care. You’re at your desk, and as he passes by, he takes your arm.

“Wha—Spencer?” You’re taken aback, but you let him pull you along and into a file room.

“What?” you repeat when he turns to you after closing the door.

He tucks the file into his bag, the folds his arms over his chest. “I barely heard from you last week.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together. “Well, yeah, I’ve been busy,” you say. “Emily’s moving in with me so we’ve been taking her things out of storage and to my apartment to unpack.”

Spencer glances away, trying to ignore the stab of jealousy in his chest. Just two weeks ago, he was in your bed and he’s quickly been replaced. And sure, he knows you don’t feel that way about him, but it was easy to pretend you did when you were asleep right next to him. “Not busy enough to make a decision about work,” he points out.

“So?”

“You’re the only other one who didn’t apply for reinstatement to the unit,” he replies. “You’d think that would be something for us to talk about.”

“You never said you wanted to,” you say, giving him a little shrug.

He doesn’t resist the eye roll this time. Does Spencer know he’s being a bit unfair? Yes. Does he care? Not particularly. No one bothered to seriously check in with him last week. He wasn’t expecting everyone to, but he was expecting it from you. He’s only been at work for five minutes, but his emotions are already running high, and he doesn’t care to reign them in. “I didn’t think I’d have to.”

“You should’ve. I can’t read your mind.” Now you’re getting defensive. “And what does it matter, anyways? You’re not my boyfriend; I don’t have to run my decisions past you.”

“I know that,” he snaps. He really could have done without hearing you say that. “I’m just there to warm up your bed when you’re lonely is all, huh?”

You’re shocked for only a moment before pivoting to anger. “I didn’t make you do anything. You could’ve said no. And I certainly don’t owe you anything from it.”

“Clearly,” he mutters.

You heave an angry sigh. “Look, I know you’re mad about the whole thing, but don’t take it out on me. I don’t know why you’re so surprised that I wanted to spend the past week catching up with my girlfriend after thinking she was dead for ten weeks. If you wanted to talk, you should’ve said so. Stop being such an ass.”

Spencer doesn’t answer. You’re right, and he knows it, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to admit it. He just looks down at the floor, avoiding your glare.

When it becomes clear to you that he has no intention of responding, you mutter, “whatever” under your breath and duck behind him, walking out of the door and leaving him alone again.

---

The case has been miserable.

In rural Oklahoma, their unsub is burning his victims with acid. Not the worst they’ve seen, but not pleasant, either—this job never is.

You’re still mad at him, which is bad enough, but he’s also had to watch you be far more… touchy with Emily than you ever were before. It’s not super apparent—you still keep it professional at the local P.D. and when you’re out on work assignments, but you’re going out of your way to find any excuse to touch her that you can outside of that.

Then there’s the motel they’re staying at and its thin walls. He heard a few things last night from your room next door. It was quickly followed by shushes, but he heard enough to infer what was going on. So he’d dug his noise-canceling headphones out of his bag. It had been a good solution at the time, but then he’d fallen asleep with them on. As a result, he’d slept with his neck at an odd angle. It’s midday now and it’s still aching.

To top it all off, there’s Jennifer. He’s been trying to keep his distance from her, and had thought the snide remarks he hadn’t been able to hold back might encourage her to stay away. But she keeps pressing the issue, and when she tells him she thinks he’s mad about micro-expressions, he can’t hold it back anymore.

“You think it’s about my profiling skills? Jennifer, listen, the only reason you were able to manage my perceptions is because I trusted you. I came to your house for ten weeks in a row crying over losing a friend, and not once did you have the decency to tell me the truth.”

She protests, so he brings up Dilaudid. He knows it’s a low blow, and that she still feels guilty about them splitting up all those years ago, leading to his abduction and subsequent problem, but he doesn’t care. He just wants her to hurt like he is.

The team is staring and Emily says his name, but he just tells Jennifer that it’s too late to be sorry and leaves without another word.

Outside, he sits on the curb in front of one of the SUVs and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to calm himself down. He’s not alone for long, though. Just a few minutes later, he hears footsteps coming from behind him. The sound that involuntarily comes out of his throat can only be described as a growl.

“God, Jennifer, what do I have to do to get you to understand that I want you to leave me the fuck alone!” he nearly yells.

But it’s not Jennifer that answers. “It’s me,” you say softly.

Spencer sighs. He drops his hands from his face but doesn’t open his eyes. “What?”

“Can I sit?”

He’s not sure he wants to be around anyone, but it’s hard for him to say no to you. “Sure,” he says dully.

You join him on the curb, but keep a few feet of space between you. You don’t say anything, though, just sit quietly, letting him make the first move.

“How are you okay?” he asks eventually.

“What?” You sound incredulous. “I’m not sure where you got that idea. I’m so mad at Hotch that I can barely breathe when I’m in the same room as him.”

Spencer considers this for a moment, recalling when everyone���s been in the same room during this case. He realizes that since he’s been preoccupied with you touching Emily and trying to avoid Jennifer, he’s missed how you tense up whenever you see Hotch, and that you keep him out of your eyesight whenever possible.

“But you’re fine with Emily,” he observes. That does honestly confuse him, because he’s mad at Emily as well. And if it had been you in her place? He’s not sure he’d ever be able to forgive you, even without you knowing the way he feels about you.

“For the most part,” you say. “I still feel a little mad at her sometimes, but it helps me to remember that it wasn’t her fault.”

He finally looks at you, raising an eyebrow. “Being alive in Paris and not telling you isn’t her fault?”

“She didn’t really get a choice. When she woke up after surgery, the funeral had already happened,” you explain. “Hotch made the decision without her.”

“Hmm.” He files that information away to think over later. “And Jennifer?”

You shrug. “I can’t be too mad at her, since she did so much for me during those weeks.”

He snorts. “Yeah, out of guilt.”

“Probably, yes,” you concede. “But not having to pack up Emily’s things and take them to storage myself, feeding Sergio and bringing him to stay with me, bringing me hot meals when I was surviving off of cereal alone because I could barely get out of bed, let alone cook for myself… it went a long way.”

On the one hand, it’s a bit comforting for him to hear how Jennifer helped the woman he loves. On the other, she could have ended your pain with three words—Emily is alive—but she didn’t. She let the woman he loves suffer the pain of the loss of a partner.

And she sure didn’t bring him hot meals.

This shouldn’t surprise you, Spencer. You’ve always been the afterthought. The burden. You should be used to this by now.

He clenches the fabric of his pants in his hands. “That doesn’t make me any less angry,” he mutters.

“That’s fine.”

“You can’t expect me to just—wait, what?”

“That’s fine,” you repeat. “I’m not trying to tell you to just get over it or whatever because she was nice to me. Like Em told me, you’re allowed to be mad.”

Spencer bites his lip, resisting the urge to ask you to stop calling her Em. You’re the only one that calls her that—or rather, is allowed to call her that, and it’s obvious why. It’s also similar enough to you calling him Spence that he’ll always start comparing himself to Emily when he hears it, and he’s been trying to stop doing that for months.

“Maybe you just, I don’t know,” you continue, drawing him out of his thoughts. “You could just try to be a little less passive aggressive with JJ?”

He opens his mouth, about to flat-out refuse, but before he can, you tack on, “For me? Just a little bit?”

God damn it.

“Only if she stops bothering me,” he says bluntly.

“Yeah, she, um… she was crying when I left, so I think she’s got the message now,” you say quietly.

He feels a bit guilty upon hearing that, but not enough to apologize, or even really regret it. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, he rationalizes to himself. She’s the one who decided to push it anyways.

After a few moments of silence, you reach out and pat his knee. “I love you, you know.”

He knows what you mean, knows that you don’t mean it like that, but his heart still skips a beat. He responds to you with a nod.

You push yourself to your feet, tell him to take all the time he needs, and you’ll see him when he’s ready to come back in, then walk away.

When he’s certain you’re out of earshot, he whispers back, “I love you, too.”

---

Emily sits down across from him on the plane, and Spencer is immediately reminded of the morning after he caught you and her together. That time, Emily had folded her hands in front of her on the table. This time, she slides something across it to him. He looks up from his book and sees his missing tie, wrinkles ironed out and folded neatly.

“It was in her bed,” she explains when his brow furrows.

Spencer wonders if that made Emily jealous.

He’s not a good enough person to not hope it did.

“Thanks,” he mutters, putting it away in his bag.

Emily’s quiet, but she doesn’t leave. She must have something else to say. He sighs. “What is it?”  

“Are you going to Rossi’s house tomorrow night?” she asks.

He looks back down to his book. “I don’t know. I’m not so sure I can make it.”

“Okay. Well, Reid, you can be mad at me for as long as you need to. I’m okay with that.”

Spencer frowns. He kind of wishes she wasn’t being so nice and understanding. It makes it harder to be upset with her, and he wants to be upset with her.

“I’d like to say something to you, though, if that’s okay,” she says.

He reluctantly looks back up. “What?”

Emily holds his gaze. “Thank you,” she says earnestly.

He blinks. “Uh, for what?”

Her voice wavers slightly with emotion as she speaks. “For looking out for her when I couldn’t.”

His eyes drift away from Emily and to the couch where you’re sleeping. “My pleasure,” he replies quietly. When he looks back at Emily, she has a curious look on her face.

For the first time, instead of panicking over keeping his secret, instead of shying away, Spencer looks right back at her. A few seconds later, he thinks he sees a flash of realization in her eyes, but it’s so quick he can’t be sure.

“Well, thank you,” she repeats, and takes her leave. He watches as she leans down and tucks the blanket closer around you. He closes his eyes, leans back in his seat, and imagines a world where he was the one adjusting it instead.

---

“You’re gonna go weeks, months even, feeling fine. And then you’re gonna have a bad day.”

Emily can barely get the hotel room door open, her hands are shaking so much. A bad day. What Hotch called it, she thinks, was a bit of an understatement.

She’s just come back from taking a witness statement to help wrap up the piano man case—or rather, she was trying to take one.

“I was told that you would only give your statement to me.”

“Why didn’t you let me pull the trigger?” Regina asks.

“Because you would be in prison.” Emily understands why Regina is mad at her, and she’s fine with taking the brunt of it. Lying to her to stop her from shooting the unsub was the right thing to do. “I know it’s hard--”

“No, you don’t. You have no idea what it’s like…” Regina pauses briefly, anger radiating off of her. “When the monster from your nightmares comes back for you.”

Emily breaks eye contact and looks down. She knows exactly what that’s like.

Regina recognizes it. “Wait--”

Redirect, redirect, redirect. “Look, I’m here as a courtesy--”

“Something happened to you.”

“So do you want to give me your statement or not?”

But Regina is relentless. “What did you do to him, huh? Did you arrest him like a good FBI agent? Or did you kill him?”

Emily sits down heavily on the spare bed, drawing your attention away from packing up your things for the flight home. “Em?”

She just shakes her head, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees and closing her eyes. “It was the right thing,” she whispers to herself. “It was the right thing. I did the right thing.”

You sit down next to her and place your hand on her back. “What happened?”

Emily swallows hard, feeling sick to her stomach. Her hair is sticking to the back of her neck; she tilts her head to try and dislodge it. You catch on and pull it to the side for her.

“Talk to me, baby,” you urge gently. “Just something, anything I can do to help.”

She takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to speak. “I—I think,” she stutters. “I th—think I just ruined a woman’s pe—peace of m—mind for good.”

You start rubbing circles on her back and ask, “How?”

“You know, when they talk about victims getting revictimized by the system, they mean you.”

Emily shudders involuntarily. “I… you know how we found the unsub with a—a victim?”

Slowly, in sentences fractured by gasping breaths, swallows to hold back the nausea, and even a few sobs, she recounts what Regina said to her.

You murmur something under your breath that she doesn’t catch, then, ever so gently, you pull her into your arms.

Emily Prentiss isn’t one to break down, not in her own home and especially not in front of others. She controls any “negative” emotions as best as she can, her feelings only displayed through a trembling voice, misty eyes, or run-down nails. Screaming, tears, and nervous gestures were not befitting of an ambassador’s daughter, after all, and those habits formed in childhood have stayed with her until this day.

But there’s one person who’s the exception. There’s one person with whom those walls just don’t seem to exist. That person, of course, is you.

You pull her into your arms, and Emily Prentiss breaks down, because she can. She can because she knows you’ll be there to help put her back together again.

“You never had a chance to mourn your own death, did you?”

She hadn’t understood what her therapist meant when she said it yesterday morning, but Emily thinks she does now. This time last year, what Regina said would have unsettled her, and she would have felt sorry for her, but she probably wouldn’t have dwelt on it much. It’s not last year, though. It’s this year, and she’s coming undone in your embrace over Regina’s words, words she knows will never leave her.

“I didn’t pull the trigger.”

“Still… your monster’s dead. I have to live with mine. That’s my statement.”

Emily has a promise to keep, so she boards the jet early. A few minutes later, Hotch slides into the seat across from her and waits. It still takes her a few moments to collect herself enough to say the words.

“I’m having a bad day.”

---

Spencer’s not sure if you’re going to be able to keep doing this job. He became very familiar with your nervous tics and outward signs of stress during those weeks, and now he can notice them almost immediately.

You seemed okay for the first few months. A few habits cropped up now and then—biting your lip, tapping each fingertip to your thumb in turn—but that was fairly normal. It’s a stressful job.

But then your bottom lip starts getting chapped again, and during conversions with anyone other than Emily, you’re quiet; you often have to be prompted to share your thoughts.

He tries to find out what’s wrong, but when he asks, you shut it down. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” he says quietly. “But, um, you probably should talk to… somebody, you know?”

You barely look up from your paperwork as you respond. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve been seeing a therapist since this whole shitshow started. I’ve got Emily, too. If anything, I should be telling you to go talk to a professional.”

Spencer just says “okay” again, then a few minutes later he excuses himself to go hide in the bathroom and nurse his hurt feelings. He knows you weren’t trying to be mean. Flipping around the suggestion to him most certainly came from a place of love. But he’s not interested in receiving any kind of psychiatric care—he’s actively opposed to it. So being told anything of that sort upsets him and often makes him angry.

Today it’s just salt in the wound, though. The wound itself is Emily. And god, does he ever feel guilty about the resentment that crops up every time her name is in your mouth. She was dead, and every day she was gone, he wished she weren’t. He cried countless tears over her and would’ve given anything to at least be able to say goodbye.

Then the impossible happened—she came back. He didn’t have to say goodbye at all. And sure, there was the initial relief and happiness, and the warmest hug ever, but now he finds himself resenting her. He’d never wish for her to be gone again, but he can’t stop the jealousy, no matter how hard he tries.

Recently, when Emily was shot during a case in California, he held back your hair as you leaned out of the door of the SUV and threw up upon receiving the news. Spencer Reid would never deny that he’s a germaphobe, but he wants that. He wants to be the one taking care of you, the one whose shoulder you fall asleep on, the one going home with you at the end of the day.

He doesn’t want Emily gone, never, ever again, but he wants you back. Those ten weeks, as awful as they were, weren’t the worst he’s had, because during that time, you were always seeking him out. He knows you didn’t want him that way, but if Emily had really been gone, he thinks one day, that might have changed. The thought always brings tears to his eyes.

Still, he would settle for having you the way he did during the years before he fell for you. Things just haven’t been the same since Emily came back. You don’t stay up late talking anymore. You haven’t a movie night in months. You don’t ask about the books he’s reading or what he did over the weekend. This is it: this is exactly what he was afraid of happening when he found you with Emily.

Spencer doesn’t think it’s personal. He thinks it’s because you’re barely hanging on these days, and just don’t have the energy anymore to do things like you used to.

It still hurts, though. He wonders if it’ll ever stop hurting.

---

Respite can come at the strangest of times and in the oddest of ways. Today, it comes to Emily in the middle of a hostage situation at a bank, in the form of a job offer.

The team is trying to find the I.D. of the Queen of Hearts, one of the robbers, when she gets a surprise call from Clyde Easter, her old Interpol Unit Chief, who gives her the information he knows about the unsub. He doesn’t know her name, but he reminds her that she’s seen the unsub before, at a robbery in Paris while she was living there. Then when the team learns that their unsubs want to fly out to Chad, she calls him back.

“Well, unfortunately Interpol doesn’t have many assets in that particular region in Africa. Maybe that’s something you could help me with when this is over.”

Emily scoffs. “Work for Interpol again? That’ll be the day.”

“Not work, darling. Run,” he corrects. “You see, I’ve been promoted. So, the team’s yours whenever you want it.”

“It’s a hell of a time to bring that up,” she says, ignoring the questioning glances she’s getting from you, Reid, and JJ.

Clyde asks her to think about it, but there’s no time to do that now. She pushes it to the back of her mind and goes back to work.

By the time the day is over, she’s tired. Just tired. You both narrowly survive the explosion in the bank thanks to the alcove you were in, trying to help two elderly patrons. Then a mere hour later, you scare the shit out of her by finding Will strapped to an active bomb and deactivating it yourself. So Clyde’s offer doesn’t come up again until the next morning, when light is spilling through the curtains, illuminating the bedroom with a soft, warm glow.

You face each other in bed, legs twined together under the covers. “What was that about working for Interpol again?” you ask softly, tucking your arm under your head.

“Clyde was promoted,” she replies just as quietly, as to not disturb the peaceful morning feeling. “He offered me his old job. He wants me to run the London office.”

Your eyes widen. “Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“How are you feeling about that?”

Emily blows out a breath. “I’d like to at least… consider it.”

You reach out, finding her hand in the sheets and lacing your fingers between hers. “What’s stopping you?”

“I’m sure you can guess,” she replies, squeezing your hand back.

“Well, then I think you’re more than just considering it,” you say. “You wouldn’t bring it to me if you didn’t want to take the job.”

Emily thinks for a moment, then admits, “I… I do want to take it. But I have to know what you think, honestly.” She was already robbed out of making one life-changing decision without you in this past year. She has no interest in that happening again.

“Honestly?” you repeat, shifting a little. At her nod, you continue, “I think it’s a good option for us.”

“Us?” she asks, eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, us,” you affirm. “What, you think I’m just going to stay here if you move away?”

She shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe. This is the first time we’ve talked about something like this.”

“Fair point,” you say, then sigh. “We’re… both struggling here in D.C., Em. I know it and you know it. This place, this team. It used to be my home, but now, I just… it’s not like it was before.”

“You don’t trust Hotch anymore,” Emily says quietly.

You let out a small, broken chuckle. “I’ve tried. I’ve been trying so hard. I know he did what he thought he had to, but I just… I can’t.”

“It’s okay to feel that way,” she points out. She lets go of your hand to reach up and wipe away a tear that breaks your lash line. “In fact, I’d say it’s reasonable, with what you went through.”

You close your eyes and nod, putting your hand on top of hers to keep it on your cheek. “I know it’s been hard for you, too.”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “I wanted to come back, and at first, I felt like I was home. But I just can’t go back to my old life and pretend that nothing happened. The only time I feel at home now is… well, it’s when I’m alone with you, just like this.”

“Emily Prentiss, I had no idea you were such a romantic,” you say, cracking a smile.

“Oh, stop,” she says, but she’s blushing. When your giggles subside, she speaks again. “I would love for you to come to London with me. But I don’t want you to forget what you’d be leaving. There’s still a lot of good here.”

You nod. “There is. I’m just not sure it’s enough anymore,” you say softly.

“I understand. You can think about it. I don’t need an answer now.”

So you don’t give her one, not right away. But you do a few hours later. So Emily picks up her phone and dials Clyde’s number.

---

JJ’s a beautiful bride, but Spencer’s eyes keep drifting over to you. The dress you’re wearing tonight is wonderful; from the cut to the color, it suits you perfectly. But that’s not what’s really got his attention. It’s the way you’re carrying yourself. You’re smiling, and you seem truly happy, without any reservations. But there’s also a bit of sadness clinging to you, and he can’t tell what’s causing it.

The party has been going on for a while by the time he finds himself dancing with you. You’d asked him, and now you’ve steered him a little ways away from everyone else. “There’s something I have to tell you,” you say just as he’s about to ask what’s going on.

To his dismay, he doesn’t have a clue what it’s going to be. He doesn’t like not having at least an idea. He swallows, then says, “Okay.”

You can’t meet his eyes; you look down to the floor instead and watch your feet move in time together. So whatever it is, I’m not going to like it, he thinks, and his anxiety spikes. “What is it?” he asks, tightening his grip on you without really meaning to.

You take a deep breath, then look up. “Emily and I are leaving.”

His heart drops and he stops in his tracks, causing you to stumble a little over his feet. “Oh, shi—sorry,” he says. “I just—you’re leaving the BAU? But you’re still going to be in D.C., right?”

You sigh, then guide him off the dance floor and to a quiet spot not too far away. “You remember what Emily said about working for Interpol again yesterday?”

“Interpol?” he repeats, his voice pitching upwards. “You mean, like, overseas?”

“London, to be specific.”

He opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know what to say. Things were a little rocky between you and him when Emily came back, and for a little while afterwards, sure, but recently he’d started to feel like he had his best friend back.

Apparently he couldn’t be more wrong.

Spencer’s used to people leaving. First it was his dad, then Ethan. Elle was next, quickly followed by Gideon. JJ was forced out, and although she ended up coming back, it didn’t erase the pain he felt in her absence. And then there was everything that happened with Emily.

So, Spencer’s used to people leaving. In a way, he almost expects it.

He just wishes it would stop hurting so damn much.

What is it about me? he wonders. What is it that makes people run away? There’s clearly something wrong with--

“Hey!”

He jumps, startled out of his introspection. When his eyes refocus on you, you put your hands on your hips.

“I don’t appreciate people being mean to my best friend, you know,” you tell him seriously.

“Uh…” He blinks a few times. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”

“That includes him being mean to himself,” you continue. “I know what you were thinking.”

“What? No, you don’t,” he protests.

“Don’t I?” You put the tip of your finger on your chin. “Was it or was it not something along the lines of, people always leave me, why do they do that, there must be something wrong with me?”

He hates that you’re right, so he doesn’t answer, just scowls and looks away.

“It’s not true, you know.”

“Sure,” he mutters. Sure it isn’t. You’ve only just added your name to the list.

“I mean it.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Look at me.”

Spencer doesn’t, and your resulting sigh sounds so frustrated, and then he thinks, Oh, great work, Reid. (Y/N) tells you she’s leaving and what do you do? You piss her off. Honestly, it’s no wonder--

And then your hands are on his face, cradling his cheeks, and he’s too surprised to resist your gaze anymore.

“It’s not your fault, Spencer,” you say, your voice equal parts firm and gentle. “You didn’t drive me away. Not even close. There’s nothing inherently wrong with you, okay? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He sniffs, trying to hold back the sudden onslaught of emotions you’ve just caused. “Well, I could have gone without picking a fight with you on our first day back at work,” he says, sniffling again.

“What’re you tal—Spencer, that was almost a year ago.”

“Nine months.”

“Whatever. The point still stands. You’re not why I’m leaving, okay? You’re…” you trail off and he’s alarmed to see your eyes grow wet. “You’re the opposite, actually. You were the only thing keeping me here when Emily was gone. And now, you’re why it’s so hard to leave.”

“I am?” he whispers before he can think better of it.

“You are,” you affirm. “I think Emily’s actually a little worried you’re gonna talk me out of it.”

It gets a laugh out of him, but right after a little sob escapes him and he squeezes his eyes shut. When you hug him, he immediately reciprocates, wrapping his arms around your middle tightly.

“Hey, this isn’t the end, okay?” you say, and he can tell from the way your voice is trembling that you’re crying, too. “I know you like to ignore it, but we do live in the digital age, and I’ll be hounding you to talk to me at least once a week. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“I’d certainly hope not,” he murmurs, resting his head on your shoulder.

The two of you stay like that for a while, just holding each other, trying not to cry too much. Eventually, you pull away. “Besides, it’s not like I’m leaving first thing in the morning. Our flight isn’t for another ten days. I’m gonna be around.”

Spencer nods. “Okay.”

“Okay,” you repeat, then swipe at your face, clearing away the tears. “Um, we should head back. You still owe me a dance.”

And dance with you he does, swaying gently from side to side with his hand resting on your waist. A look over your shoulder shows Emily and Derek dancing in a similar manner; judging by the way he’s holding her, she told him the news as well.

He has an eidetic memory, but Spencer makes the effort to commit this moment to his brain all the same. He wants to remember the way you’re holding him, resting your head on his chest and running your thumb over the back of his hand every so often. He wants to remember how your skin feels against his, the texture of your hair. The lighting in the backyard and the way it makes you glow. The words that you said, telling him that it’s not his fault, that nothing’s wrong with him. He’s not quite sure he believes it, but you’ve never lied to him before, so he’ll try to accept it.

The song ends, and tears threaten to fall again when you pick up your head and take a step back.

“Hey, no more crying tonight,” you say. “Because if you start crying, I’ll start crying, and I don’t want to cry any more tonight. Save it for my grand exit at the airport terminal.”

That makes him break into a smile and he’s able to blink back the tears. “Okay.”

“Do you mind if I take this dance?” It’s Emily, and she’s looking at him, head tilted in your direction.

“Oh, um.” He clears his throat. “No, um, go—go ahead.”

He passes your hand to her, and what he feels is silly. You’re not some prize to be won; you don’t belong to anyone other than yourself. But he feels like he’s passing you off to Emily, almost… entrusting you to her. The look Emily gives him makes him think she understands this.

“Wait,” you say before she can properly take you into her arms. You lean towards him and press a kiss to his cheek.

Spencer doesn’t stay around to watch you two dance. He retreats back into the house, fingertips on the spot you kissed. He lets them sit there for a moment, then forces himself to drop his hand. It’s far past time for him to try and move on. He doesn’t want you to leave, but it might be what he needs.

Maybe, just maybe, with some distance, he can begin to heal.

---

On the first day at work without you, Spencer finds a small frame on his desk. He immediately recognizes the picture inside of it—it’s the one you’d kept as your lockscreen for months, much to his dismay.

It’s a picture from the relatively early days of your friendship, well before he felt anything that wasn’t platonic towards you. You’d dragged him out on a weekend off to a nearby amusement park, because, “you can’t die without having ridden a roller coaster at least once, Spence.” He had no desire to do so, but he didn’t have any other plans, so he went along with it.

The roller coaster ended up making him vomit, and the picture is from shortly after that. You’re holding up the camera with one hand and making a peace sign with the other, smiling from ear to ear. He still looks a little queasy, only managing a small smile, but he still looks somewhat happy. And he was, that day. Other than the nausea, he’d had a lot of fun with you.

He picks up the frame and feels something on the back of it. He flips it over and finds one of his lilac colored post-it notes, displaying your handwriting.

“When it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

Tears blur his vision. Doctor Who. Of course you picked Doctor Who. And you’ve written something else, too, in smaller letters:

If you don’t answer my calls at least twice a month, I’ll tell JJ you’ve been stealing from her Cheetos stash for eight years. Love ya.

He laughs out loud, a little wet giggle that he has to follow up with a sniffle. He slips the note under the frame’s felt backing to keep it safe, then rearranges his things until he settles on the perfect spot for it to sit on his desk. He retrieves a fresh sticky note and scribbles down a reminder to himself to call you when he gets home, sticking it the cover of one of his books. After all, he can’t have JJ knowing about his thievery. The team’s good at what they do, but he doesn’t think anyone would be able to find his body once JJ’s done with him.

His eyes drift back to the photograph, coming to a stop on your face. He misses you already. He even misses the ugly bits, when you’d snapped at each other, when you were crying on his shoulder. When he saw you with Emily that first time. It’s an odd mix of emotions. Longing, nostalgia, grief, happiness, safety. Belonging.

Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.

Spencer couldn’t agree more.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

oh my god, i can hardly believe it’s over. there’s still going to be a small epilogue, but it’s optional. thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone who read and supported this series and your enthusiasm for it. you’ve made me so very happy. and if you relate to spencer in this, i want you to know you’re gonna find your someone someday. if that’s what you want, i believe you’ll find it eventually. much love to all of you. 💖

series taglist: @sobereinstein , @zizzlekwum , @goldensatine , @closetedreidstan , @afuckingshituniverse , @uswntxx , @johnmulaneyslut , @90spumkin , @mcntsee , @zhuzhubii , @shadyladyperfection , @mggbler , @eva-cadeau , @esmesisle , @anothergayinthelife , @wecouldbreakthedistance , @zozoleesi , @calm-and-doctor , i think that’s everyone?? so sorry if i missed you.

[masterhandss]

I’m sorry you have to receive so much Geordo-hate asks!

I mean, we know he is not a perfect character and has many flaws, but that’s precisely that what makes him interesting, as it’s been shown that he himself wishes to change for the better for Katarina sake’s

And even if we are few, I am also team Geordo ✨! So I’d be delighted if you could share more headcanons about his relationship with the King and Queen? I personally find his family life very interesting, as his “fake” personality may be a result of being kind of ignored in comparison with his other brothers

Thank you :D -🐢

Haha, I think this question was sent around S2 EP3 or EP4, and episode 5 pretty much answers this question for me so I feel really bad for getting to this one so late into the series qwq I'm really sorry!! Don't worry about the hate-asks, I either just ignore or delete them these days anyways, and people have been favoring Geordo recently so it's really slowed down!! :DD

As Episode 5 shows us, it's true that his "perfect prince facade" is the outcome of not receiving much love and attention from his parents, especially when compared to Alan. He realized that wanting something or having expectations only leads to pain and suffering, so he decided to close off his emotions and just do what everyone tells him to do so that he wouldn't be faced with disappointments. He becomes all smiles and charm, the perfect guy who can do pretty much anything, since that is what is desired and expected of him. To some extent, maybe using all of his time honing himself and studying is a way for him to forget any desire and disappointments that he feels in the moment. He basically planned on turning himself into a robot or machine who can do anything and can read people easily so he would know their intentions immediately without forming any expectations of them. Maybe his "sadistic" side in Fortune Lover is the outcome of him wanting to see pain and disappointment in other people's faces, since it is something he loathe and fear of feeling himself (maybe, idk).

He isn't perfect, but the series is definitely going out of it's way to show us that there's more going on in Geordo's head than just being possessive and overly-confident in himself. I guess that's why he's one of the more interesting characters in my opinion, his problems didn't end in his childhood, it's still something he's actively trying to fix until now. I really suggest reading this comment on Geordo's psyche based on Episode 5, it's such a cool read!!

Not really a headcanon at this point, but Geordo actively wants to experience parental love, especially from his mother. Most kids are closest to their mothers so that's no surprise. Queen Stuart doesn't seem like she can balance the duties of a queen and caring for her children, so she might have just put all her attention onto Alan since he's the youngest and is sick. I often hear stories from my dad about how his mom only really visibly cared for the youngest child even though there was so many of them in the family, so I'm shocked but not surprised by the Queen's behavior.

For the King, I'm sure he loves his sons a lot but given his role in the kingdom, he doesn't see them often. I feel like the relationship between the King and his sons is similar to that to most korean historical fantasy(/villainess) manhwas where he can't or feels like he doesn't need to be an overly affectionate father because that's just how it is in the royal family. Maintaining order and raising competent rulers is the priority, so being loving and affectionate wouldn't be in his list of things to do. He still loves his sons of course but as of right now we don't really have an indication that he actively seeks them out beyond social gatherings and important events.

Maybe the queen is the same, I'm not sure. What does a queen do anyways? I thought the priority of women in the middle ages was to raise and care for children almost exclusively. We don't really know if she still visits and cares for Alan a lot after he got better, and I don't think she had begun to give more attention to her other sons after that point either. It's almost like she became as goal-oriented as the King after Alan got better, which I don't like thinking about since she seemed like such a nice lady in Episode 5. Alternatively, I can imagine a scenario similar to Pryde's from The Most Heretical Last Boss Queen where upon the realization that his sons are living a happy childhood without her, the Queen started actively reaching out to the sons behind the curtains and tries to be a more active mother to them when they were getting older. Maybe it's that kind of thing that we don't really see but does happen, and could be another great differentiator to the relationships of the Stuart family in the prevent vs in fortune lover.

I headcanon that the more the Princes finally become involved with work and politics, they are actually able to bond with their dad more because they can finally be in the same room. Things like talking about their fiancés or making fun of idiotic and narcissistic vassals are the kind of things I can imagine them talking about.

I also like headcanons in fanfics where they make Geordo a momma's boy, who would call his parents "mummy and daddy" in private like in @/SixthOctavarium's Flip the Script. I think it's really cute because it shows how much Geordo loves and cares for his parents.

I hope we get more insight on the relationships between the royal family, it's content that I didn't know I needed to be honest haha. Sorry if I couldn't give a lot, most of the stuff I could save has been confirmed and deconfirmed by Episode 5, and I haven't read fanfiction recently enough to mirror how they write the King and Queen qwq Anyone is free to add more headcanons here if you guys want :DD

Thank you for the ask^^