#i think america just needs more culture

[bioswear]

Actually I think we as America could potentially Benefit by more white people digging into their white culture (barring people like nazis bc that’s the bad side of history and you should not be taking up Nazi history as your identity and yet😬 but I digress), but like if your family is Finnish or German or French, I think we should let the white insta-girlies connect to it more.

At least it would give them a more interesting facet to their personality beyond iced mochas, Pilates, and social media.

[iniziare]

Consider Yelan's facial expression to be my own in reaction to opinions shared on both X and Tumblr, and I guess I'm in the minority of the 'loud ones', but I'm pretty excited for Natlan since that trailer, actually. The previous teasers left me a little 'eh', but this definitely got my hopes back up, and I'm back in the right spirits for it (and ready to catch some Pokémon.)

Now I wouldn't be me if I didn't touch on the salt that I've seen scattered across the dash, so here I go. Listen, I read people's objections and I see what you're all aiming at, but in that light want to note that it's often incredibly easy to point fingers (arguably too much so) at others while being, quite honestly, hopefully rather aware that many of our own countries, cultures, and its populations across the board (and no, I'm not excluding anyone here) would likely be just as easily guilty as MHY is with these things. And no, I'm not blindly defending them, but I also won't point fingers at only one without pointing them everywhere else as well, including those you might think would 'never do such things', because I'm absolutely certain that they would. /continues on in the tags.

[shallowrambles]

So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.

Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.

If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.

[pestercide]

YIPPEE MORTIS ANGST!!! :D

HELLO you want to see my poor son suffering,, Enduring the worst times of his life,, Dealing with everything he was put through on his own cuz he had literally NOBODY to go to

Because if so...

So do I lol

[mooifyourecows]

I wrote a post about some things I've seen on European tiktok but maybe I won't post it because I'm not in the mood to see a bunch of angry Europeans talking casually about dead American children in retaliation of me pointing out how generous the British grading scale is in comparison to the USAs lmfao

[trashfartofficial]

while this is obviously true outside of the us, it does still showcase an interesting element of the typical usamerican social psyche: the concept of work itself as virtuous, even when it serves no purpose.

a common example of this is a pair of fictional individuals, both potato peelers by trade. both peelers make minimum wage peeling their potatoes, and suddenly, both peelers win a large sum of money, such that neither needs to continue working, let alone peeling potatoes, for the rest of their lives. one peeler takes advantage of that, and quits peeling potatoes for a living for the rest of their life. the other—a paragon of the ‘american dream’—persists in peeling potatoes. a study from ulhmann et al. in 2007 showcased a discrepancy in attitude amongst usamericans on these two potato peelers. not only did the participants feel positively towards the persistant potato peeler, they also felt negatively towards the young retired peeler for refusing work. (this is one of many consequences of puritan protestantism on modern usamerican culture.)

while this example is a larger scale than the ‘social dance’ mentioned by op, i think they serve as parallels of each other, with a commonality of ‘working for works sake’. again, while this does occur outside the us, i would imagine its in no small part due to the pervasiveness of yankee culture—be it more subtly, or by force.

readable link to the article i mentioned: https://randomdomainnamehere.com/docs/Uhlmann.Poehlman.Tannebaum.Bargh.2011.pdf

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[pantestudines]

I think my biggest americanism is that I do absolutely have like paragraphs of opinions on fast food and soda. I can fine tune my exact thoughts on pop and how it is best enjoyed and my opinions on various fast casual restaurant chains. Part of this came from working in fast food for a bit, you tend to meet a lot of other people with similarly vast opinions on the subject. I'm always a little shocked how long conversations can go with coworkers when you start asking questions like "alright so who has the best fries".

[kendallroygf]

i think the hatred or dislike of british/english people is real and right bc this country is shit and shouldn’t exist but when talking abt culture and history i do think being britasian is it’s own thing at this point

[autogyne-redacted]

Let's Talk About Security Culture: Why Keeping Secrets is Cool and Sexy

It's a natural impulse -- if you love crime -- to want to talk about how great it is. And if you hate America, it's only natural to want to share your dreams for its future with the rest of tumblr dot com. It can feel brave and transgressive. And there is a drive to share your soul with the world at the heart of social media. Surely I should be posting the most concrete implications of my politics, right? This is the poster's curse.

Security Culture refers to a set of "best practices" developed over the past several decades, largely (in a US context) coming out of radical environmental groups as they faced intense state repression, infiltration and entrapment. If you're not familiar, there's some fascinating crimethinc write ups to give you a window into that world:

Much of it boils down to: don't talk about crimes, past or forthcoming with people who don't need to know about them, and be mindful of the possibility of surveillance and infiltration. And, we can support each other as a community in minimizing risks, with an eye towards enabling bold action rather than getting bogged down in fears and anxieties. The guidelines that make sense for AG-based trouble-makers are different from the guidelines that make sense for posters, but plenty of common principles apply. To speak briefly to our position here as posters:

First, it bears saying that long term anonymity is nearly impossible to maintain. Unless you've never accessed Tumblr without a vpn, and avoided connections with other ppl who can be associated with you/your location, and never shared pictures without scrubbing metadata, and a bunch of other 100% consistent steps, it's trivial for the state to know who you are.

Second, just because something isn't actively being prosecuted now doesn't mean it can't be prosecuted later. The priorities of the state change and a shift in power towards the right or a growth in radical action from the left can suddenly make it a priority to destroy anarchist networks or just find a few ppl to prosecute as examples (who probably weren't that plugged into larger networks before getting arrested). Advocating for specific anti-government crimes or declarations of intent to commit such crimes are likely prosecutable, and even if charges don't stick, they're an easy vector for legal harassment.

Third, it's worth thinking about heat as separate from prosecutability. There are modes of engagement that may not be directly criminalized but signal that you are someone worth watching. Some people choose to be public in ways that make heat unavoidable. But it's worth noting that heat isn't strictly individualized, that it persists over time but also is going to shrink over time.

It's easy on here, ime, to see yourself as a proud member of the crime fandom but not much of a content creator. And it's easy to feel like you've generated an amount of heat where you're locked into that role. But heat you generated 10 years ago is probably pretty well gone. Heat you generated 5 years ago has faded substantially. It's worth thinking about how the world might shift in the coming years and what doors you want to keep open.

The non-individualized nature of heat also means that leaning into the spiciest of anti-state positions will make it a bad idea for people who are acting out those positions end up tied to you. Loudly talking about how "more people should be doing [X/Y/Z]" unfortunately sets you up to remain distant from people who might be doing or thinking about doing such things.

Which brings me back to: keeping secrets is sexy. Not spelling everything out builds intrigue. You can lay out a theoretical position and leave working out the practical implications of that as an exercise for the reader. There's value in opacity. The poster's curse and the drive to confess are extremely convenient for the state, but we can resist them. We can hold dreams in our hearts that we refuse to offer up to the posting spectacle.

[luveline]

helloooo, how are you? i’ve been rewatching criminal minds and i finally got to the post-prison part, so i’m really missing shy!r and post prison spencer <33 if you’re felling up to writing something for them again, i would love to see it!! maybe when they kiss for the first time or something else (completely up to you, i would love anything that you write hahah) but if you’re not really feeling it at the moment, please don’t worry about it, it’s so understandable 🩷 have the best day!!

ty for your request I love first kisses <3

Spencer takes you for a walk and explains a couple of courting rituals. shy fem!reader, 1.5k

Profiling is still very hard, but seven months into your new job at the BAU, you’ve become proficient in Spencer Reid. You can tell when he’s eager to work, when he’s down about something, when he’s feeling good. He holds himself differently on his good days, he takes care to coil his hair and wears a clean pair of shoes. 

In the bullpen, he’s sitting at his desk beside yours, craned over a desk covered in loose papers, books, and files. You attempt to hide your approach, lest he startle. 

“Good morning,” he says. 

“Good morning.” Can’t hide anything. He’s been an agent for ninety percent of his adult life. “What are you doing?” 

“Just reading.” 

You sit at your desk, clearing a space for your bag among your own mess of files and books. Your monitor turns on with a nudge of the mouse. Your screen is filled swiftly by notifications and Outlook, then the FBI messaging system, and then the ‘filing cabinet’ Garcia built to help you understand the insanity that is the BAU online system. It submerges you every morning regardless. 

“What are you reading about?” you ask. Your emails can’t wait, but you don’t want to read them, so you won’t for another ten minutes. 

He stumbles over a breath. 

“Spencer?” 

“It’s courtship rituals.” 

You regret asking. Whenever you and Spencer talk about feelings, or love, or romance, you end up hot as a kettle on a stovetop, steam billowing from your ears. You choked on a mouthful of lukewarm tea a few days ago when he’d mentioned America's developing hook-up culture. 

He doesn’t tell you any more, which is unlike him. Spencer Reid loves to talk, or loves to share what he’s learned. You looked it up —it’s called info-dumping, and it’s usually because the person telling you is so deeply fascinated by the topic they’re investigating that they can’t contain it. It’s a common symptom of ADHD, or autism, or both. Spencer’s done it since the day you met, which is nice. You feel like he trusts you. 

And so you’re wondering now if you’ve done something to make him think he can’t do it today. Or maybe he’s not feeling well. 

You prop your face in his hand and watch him. 

He doesn’t look upset, only focused. 

You hate quiet. You love not talking, but gaps of silence have you overthinking things. Maybe he’s mad. Maybe you’ve finally pissed him off. 

It’s scary because he’s amazingly kind. Overwhelmingly nice. He’s lovely and good looking but it’s his heart that shocks you every time, how he’s looked after you, defended you.

“Spencer, are you okay?” you ask. 

He blinks to attention. “What?” 

“You’re not talking.” 

He grins. “I’m thinking.” 

His smile when he looks like he’s about to laugh is everything. 

“Don’t think too much,” you say as you play with a button on your coat. “Isn’t that what you always tell me?” 

“Don’t think too much because you think about things you don’t need to,” he amends. “You worry about everything.” 

“Well, so do you.” 

“Exactly. I’ll worry enough for you, too.” Spencer gives you a smile you don’t understand. “Will you come to the archive with me? I want to talk to you about something.” 

“Spencer…” He just acknowledged that you worry about everything. 

“Sorry,” he laughs. “Something with no pressure. I’ll explain it as we walk.” 

You shed your coat and walk together out of the BAU offices down a long hallway. You take the elevator down to the ground level, spring air in the hallways, early morning sunshine lapping at your shoes where it’s settled golden against the marble floor. Spencer professes that it’s nothing to worry about again, but he doesn’t elaborate, and your heart begins to pulse too quickly. 

You can’t look at him. 

“I’ve been reading about these courtship rituals and… looking at which ones are the best. There are thousands of them, but contemporary courting isn’t easy. It confuses me. With my last, my only girlfriend, we wrote each other letters. But I wanted this time to be different, because– because love is different?” He grimaces. 

“Love is different,” you agree. You’re not sure who he means, your chest panging in two different beats. Is he… talking about you? “It’s different every time.” 

“I was looking for the more subtle rituals. I kept thinking I’d find the right one, and that I’d know it when I saw it, but I can’t find anything suitable and I might need your help. Um, if you even want to help me.” 

“Of course I do.” 

Spencer slows just outside of the archive’s door. “Everything I read about feels like it would just embarrass you. I picture buying you flowers and I feel like you’d just– just explode.” He says it with affection and apology alike. “I wrote you a poem. Emily told me not to give it to you, though.” 

“You wrote me a poem?” 

“I made you a love spoon, too, but I can’t whittle, and it looks terrible. I even cut my hand, and if you rejected me you’d have to give the spoon back and I think that would make it worse.” 

You turn completely still. The last thing you expected that morning was for Spencer to confess. And he is confessing, a small smile on his face, patience, nervousness, close enough to feel the heat of him beside you. You short circuit in an attempt to compute the magnitude of it; Spencer wants to court you, and you can’t handle it. 

Your exhale shudders out of you. Goosebumps attack your arms. 

“Sorry,” he says quietly, “are you okay?” 

“Spencer, I don’t think you could ever find a way to tell me that wouldn’t make me feel like this.” 

“How do you feel?” 

“How am I supposed to feel?” 

Spencer’s smile fades a touch. “I don’t know. You can feel how you want to feel, it isn’t up to me. But I have feelings for you. I thought you knew.” 

It’s like knowing that the lottery numbers were chosen specifically to match your ticket. The thing he’s talking about doesn’t make sense. 

“Are you kidding around?” you ask. 

“What? No.” He holds your wrist gently. “Of course not.” 

You swallow a lump and try not to overreact, though you’re already doing that. This is a good thing, it is, but he’s him and you’re you and every time he touches you it’s like fireworks are bursting warm and tingly over your skin. You smile at his chest, cheeks dimpling from how wide it stretches. 

“You don’t have to court me, um. Not in any way like that. I’m just like every other girl, you know? I like flowers. I,” —your cheek lists down toward your shoulder bashfully— “probably would feel a little embarrassed, but I like flowers. I can get you flowers.” 

Spencer really laughs. “You want to get me flowers?” 

“Maybe?” 

He laughs again. His eyes lock onto you and his open hand closes on the opposite arm, putting you face to face. “It was my idea,” he says, playfully argumentative. 

“Okay.” 

“You want to hear the poem?” he asks, quietening again. 

You nod slowly. “N’I wanna see the spoon.” 

“Can I please kiss you?” He takes a breath, like he’s been running. “I know this isn’t the right place, but I didn’t expect to want it this badly.” 

“I don’t think there’s a wrong place…” 

“So I can?” he asks, lifting a hand to your cheek, to hold you with care. 

You nod into his approach, find yourself kissed and held tightly in a split-second of warmth and warm smells. His nose touches yours in a kiss of their own, his lips part lightly before pressing in again. Two kisses lend to a third, but then he pulls away to look at you. As quickly as it started, it’s over. 

“You're overheating already,” he says, thumb rubbing a sweet path under your cheek. 

You don’t know what to say. He ducks his head just that little bit to make sure you’re okay. Understanding flows between you both. His hand falls behind your back to pull you in for a hug. 

“I’ve never been the confident one in any of my relationships,” he admits. 

“I usually am.” 

Your deadpan lights him up. His hug turns strong armed, and he walks you back, giggling, arms a comforting vice around you. “You can be the shy one this time,” he says, seemingly unaware of how his using the word ‘relationship’ has thrown you for another loop. 

You’re hot as a furnace all morning. Spencer makes excuses for you, but Emily’s amazing at her job. 

“Jesus, Spence, you didn’t read her the poem? I told you it was too much.” 

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Do you have a list of good sex ed books to read?

BOY DO I

please bear in mind that some of these books are a little old (10+ years) by research standards now, and that even the newer ones are all flawed in some way. the thing about research on human beings, and especially research on something as nebulous and huge as sex, is that people are Always going to miss something or fail to account for every possible experience, and that's just something that we have to accept in good faith. I think all of these books have something interesting to say, but that doesn't mean any of them are the only book you'll ever need.

related to that: it's been A While since I've read some of these so sorry if anything in them has aged poorly (I don't THINK SO but like, I was not as discerning a reader when I was 19) but I am still including them as books that have been important to my personal journey as a sex educator.

additionally, a caveat that very few of these books are, like, instructional sex ed books in the sense of like "here's how the penis works, here's where the clit is, etc." those books exist and they're great but they're also not very interesting to me; my studies on sex are much more in the social aspect (shout out to my sociology degree) and the way people learn to think about sex and societal factors that shape those trends. these books reflect that. I would genuinely love to have the time to check out some 101 books to see how they fare, but alas - sex ed is not my day job and I don't have the time to dedicate to that, so it happens slowly when it happens at all. I've been meaning to read Dr. Gunter's Vagina Bible since it came out in 2019, for fucks sake.

and finally an acknowledgement that this is a fairly white list, which has as much to do with biases with academia and publishing as my own unchecked biases especially early in my academic career and the limitations of my university library.

ANYWAY here's some books about sex that have been influential/informative to me in one way or another:

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Virginity Lost: An Intimate Portrait of First Sexual Experiences (Laura M. Carpenter, 2005)

Virgin: The Untouched History (Hanne Blank, 2007)

Sex Goes to School: Girls and Sex Education Before the 1960s (Susan K. Freeman, 2008)

Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex (Mary Roach, 2008)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women (Jessica Valenti, 2009)

Not Under My Roof: Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex (Amy T. Schalet, 2011)

Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality (Hanne Blank, 2012)

Rewriting the Rules: An Integrative Guide to Love, Sex and Relationships (Meg-John Barker, 2013)

The Sex Myth: The Gap Between Our Fantasies and Realities (Rachel Hills, 2015)

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Tranform Your Sex Life (Emily Nagoski, 2015)

Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men (Jane Ward, 2015)

Too Hot to Handle: A Global History of Sex Education (Jonathan Zimmerman, 2015)

American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus (Lisa Wade, 2017)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Workers' Rights (Juno Mac and Molly Smith, 2018)

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex (Angela Chen, 2020)

Pleasure in the News: African American Readership and Sexuality in the Black Press (Kim Gallon, 2020)

A Curious History of Sex (Kate Lister, 2020)

Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity (Peggy Orenstein, 2020)

Black Women, Black Love: America's War on Africa American Marriage (Dianne M. Stewart, 2020)

The Tragedy of Heterosexuality (Jane Ward, 2020)

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021)

Strange Bedfellows: Adventures in the Science, History, and Surprising Secrets of STDs (Ina Park, 2021)

The Right to Sex: Feminist in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021)

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021)

Superfreaks: Kink, Pleasure, and the Pursuit of Happiness (Arielle Greenberg, 2023)

[snickerdoodlles]

one of my most formative fandom experiences was a comment i had gotten on a fic i wrote for a halloween themed fandom event.

this was for a manga/anime, so the fic was a general ghost story obviously set in Japan. the beginning of it involved a pizza delivery and while writing it, i had spent like 30 minutes just double checking tipping customs and the types of pizza they serve and even fell down a wikipedia rabbit hole looking up the history of pizza in Japan.

now, i just like the research part of writing, i do stuff like this because i have fun doing it. and while i was writing this particular fic, i had laughed at myself for my 30 minutes of googling that amounted to 2.5 offhand lines in a 3500 word fic. i didn't think anyone would care about or even notice those particular details except for me, especially since none of them were relevant to the ghost part of this ghost story.

except, when i had sent this fic to a Japanese friend, the first thing she said to me about it was "OH MY GOD YOU GOT THE PIZZA RIGHT"

and that was the moment when it had really clicked for me. what had just been 30 minutes of effort on my part had become a moment of relief for her. my friend was far more used to reading ethnocentric fic that ranged from unintentional ignorance to outright superiority against part of her culture (the original story's culture no less). and even with the "innocent" ignorance (heavy quotes on that) far outstripping any outright maliciousness, that's still so many people saying her culture was not worth learning about. the pizza in my story was a small detail, but i had cared enough to put in some effort to check it. and for her, coming from a fic experience where her norm was bracing for hundreds of inaccuracies born of ignorance, especially at that time after a flood of stories centered around "Halloween as a cultural holiday in the US" premises instead of the "Halloween is a commercial gimmick in Japan" reality, seeing someone put in some effort even for minor story details meant something to her.

this also throws me back to the discourse that arose in a french show fandom a few years ago because there were a lot of fic authors that wrote 'dollars' instead of 'euros'-- but when people brought this up as a prevalent issue across the fandom but an easy one to fic/watch out for, many of these writers instead pushed back to complain that they were posting stories for free and it wasn't that big of a deal. which really upset a lot of people, but then this upset was met with a new wave of indignation that people needed to 'get over it' because they're writing fic ~just as a hobby~. but, even if 'dollars' instead of 'euros' wasn't a big deal, by digging in their heels about the issue, they were saying "your culture isn't worth even five minutes of my time or effort."

I've been thinking about these things lately because the ethnocentrism in Thai drama fandoms is...staggering. just over the turn of the year, there were waves of Christmas fic for Buddhist characters. and just. Christmas in Thailand is a tourist thing at best. sometimes a pop culture gimmick for international audiences or maybe an offhand high school thing to blow off steam between midterms. it's not a cultural thing. and even if a character is a part of the Christian minority, a Christian Thai's holiday customs and culture are going to be vastly different than a Christian's customs in the Americas or Europe. and while the Christmas fic is at least finished for now, I'm already bracing myself for the Easter fic wave that also seems to pop up for Thai dramas. it's so frustrating to see this sort of cultural overwrite all the time, especially since most Thai drama holiday works aren't about Thai holidays.

but the thing that really got me bristling about all of this again was i saw a post the other day where op said that they weren't going to write [thai drama] fic because they don't know much about thailand.

what an absolutely appalling statement to make.

google is right there. wikipedia is free. you don't even have to leave tumblr or AO3 to learn more because there are Thai natives in fandom who write essays to explain common elements of their culture. hell, even just watching these Thai stories and considering the values and messages imparted by the narrative framework and story lens tells you something about that culture. the audacity to look at a culture different from your own and say "this is not worth my effort or time to learn anything more about," are you kidding me?!?

the messages and values of a story tell you about the writer's values, which are going to carry their cultural values, beliefs, and biases. Thai culture is going to be heavily relevant to any Thai story, even the ones that aren't explicitly about Thai culture/customs/etc. (hell, Thai bl/gl as a genre alone-- just the fact that queer Thai writers are making these stories in Thailand's current political climate is highly political, even the "fluffy" ones that don't seem to make outright political statements.) to approach any story like it was made in a vacuum is to remove the writer(s)' culture and values and to overwrite them with your own.

especially because this is fandom. these are the lowest stakes to learn! it sucks to see people say things like "but i'm scared i'll get something wrong" and hold up that fear as a shield to justify their ignorance. no one's expecting anyone to get every detail right, especially not for a culture that isn't theirs, just make an effort to learn something new about it. pick out something that caught your eye as different to learn more about and see where it leads you.

and for the record--making a mistake trying to broaden your horizons is a far, far better thing to do than to superimpose your culture on everyone else's because you're scared to confront your ignorance.

edit: check out this reblog thanks

[improbable-outset]

📂 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐢 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨 𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭.𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞

I don’t think there’s any trigger warnings needed for this. But I just wanna give a heads up that I did not write these in order so there might be some HC that looks rush— I couldn’t elaborate on some, sorry 😢

𝐔𝐥𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

📄 𝐀𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji’s past experiences and personality traits shape how he shows affection. Having lived in America for most of his life, his way of showing love blends both American and Japanese elements

In America, people are generally more direct with their affection, and public displays of affection (PDA) are more socially acceptable, or at least not that frowned upon, including hugging, kissing, and hand-holding. While gift giving is important in American culture, it doesn’t carry the same significance as in Japan (cuteeeee).

In contrast, Japanese culture often values subtle and indirect expressions of affection, with intimate gestures usually kept private. Kenji’s approach combines both culture seamlessly

Kenji might express his love in a mix of direct and indirect ways. His approach to PDA might vary depending on his surroundings. As a star baseball player that’s constantly in the public eye, he might save more intimate gestures for private moments. However, he won’t shy away from holding your hand or giving a quick peck on the cheek

Drawing from Japanese culture, Ken will give gifts as a way of showing his love— and given that this man is loaded, they do tend to be pretty extravagant. He might also embrace more grand gestures typical in American culture

Though he appreciates your thoughtful gestures too. Whether it’s leaving small gifts or notes in his duffle bag before a game or making him breakfast, he cherishes these moments with you

Overall, Kenji is grateful that you love all aspect of him, appreciating the different ways he shows his affection and your understanding and acceptance of his unique blend of cultural influences

📄 𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝.𝐝𝐨𝐜

I’m glad that there are more people acknowledging the struggles Kenji faced as a Japanese person newly moved to LA. In his first interview with Ami, he stated how he was made fun of for the way he looked and talked, indicating he had a hard time making friends in America. This was a difficult adjustment period for him.

But if you thought that was bad, moving back to Japan presented its own set of challenges. Despite returning to his home country, Ken struggled to fit in with the Japanese crowd. We’ve heard the unwarranted comment from the catcher: “We’re waiting for the Japanese version of this guy,” highlighting his continuing struggle with acceptance.

So it is canon that this man is lonely. Given everything he has been through, you would expect him to have a bitter attitude and be more closed off. However, that’s not the case.

Ken can be sociable when he wants to be. He often masks his internal struggle with his cocky exterior, which might add another difficulty in making friends, but it doesn’t define his character entirely.

Beyond his bravado, Ken has the potential to be a great friend. We’ve seen the way he warms up to Ami later on in the story. He can be fiercely loyal when he wants to be and stand by those he cares about and be there when they need them.

The real question is: will he let you be there for him? How long will it take for him to let you in his psych? This is a complex layer of his character that we’ll explore later on in the alphabet

📄 𝐂𝐮𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Oh, this man definitely needs to be held. At the start of your relationship, Kenji would always be the one holding you close. His arms would wrap around you while you nestled on his chest. He found comfort in the role and didn’t think much about needing to be held himself, until you gently asked him about it

He was reluctant about it at first but eventually he relented, allowing you to hold him close. Feeling your heartbeat near his ear and your arms around him, he quickly grew enamoured and melted into your touch.

It took him a few cuddle sessions for him to adjust to this new dynamic, but once he did, he embraced it fully (all puns intended)

As your relationship deepened, Kenji became more comfortable with initiating cuddle sessions himself. He’s not shy about expressing when he needs to be held

I can see him climbing into bed and nuzzling into your neck, seeking closeness. From being the one who held you, Kenji appreciates the reciprocity of being held by you. Knowing someone cares for him deeply gives him a sense of contentment

📄 𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Over time, Kenji’s desire to settle down grows stronger the more he spends time with you. Seeing the stability and fulfilment a settled life can bring, he envisions a secure, private home environment where you both can unwind away from the public eye

Kenji’s cooking skills are basic but heartfelt. He learned to cook out of necessity while living in the America, often preparing meals with his mother as a way of spending quality time together.

He sees cooking together as a way of bonding and creating lasting memories. Despite having an advanced automated delivery system in his home, he often prefers to cook with you, valuing the personal touch. He is open to learning new recipes and techniques, often taking lead in the kitchen

While Kenji prefers to keep his living space organised, he isn’t fond of the labour of cleaning. He relies on his high-tech home and Mina to handle most of the household chores efficiently. He appreciates the comfort and peace that a well-maintained home provides

He utilise the technology in his home to make his life easier, ensuring that everything is kept in order.

📄 𝐄𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.𝐝𝐨𝐜

The way he handles your break up really depends on the situation, but he would always prefer to do it face-to-face for clarity and honesty

If it was you at fault, it might be because he feels like there’s a lack of support from you or because you betrayed his trust.

He may seem resentful on the outside but is shattered on the inside. After you both go your separate ways, you’ll never hear from him again, but you won’t know that he’s holding back from contacting you and forgiving you. However, his pride won’t allow him to.

But if you do something seriously bad, like continuously disrespect him or, worse case-scenario, cheat on him, he’ll be colder towards you. Don’t expect him to give you another chance after that

If he’s the one that’s at fault here, it’ll probably be because he prioritise his career and baseball over your relationship and has unintentionally neglected you. He’ll be upset and pissed off.

He���s not angry at you, but more at himself for not being better. He’s already dealing with his mother’s absence and now he has lost another important person in his life.

But unlike his mothers disappearance, he had control over the situation, and it could’ve been avoided if he changed

In this case, he won’t beg you to stay but rather wish you well for your future and would seek to provide closure

📄 𝐅𝐢𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji take’s commitment seriously, especially given everything he has been through while moving the the US and back to Japan, often feeling lonely. Despite his loneliness, he won’t make a move unless he’s fully committed to building a future together, and ensure that you’re both are emotionally ready for the next step

However his career in being in the spotlight and having eyes on him might impact his decision. He has already mastered separating his personal life concealed from the media, but having a partner might spark some unwanted attention and an uproar of press conferences asking about his love life.

Kenji is acutely aware of the intrusive nature of the media. He wants to protect his partner and any future children from unwanted attention. Kenji will find a way to navigate through the chaos and maintain a balance with his career and his personal life

He’ll openly discuss with you how you could balance his career and future together. This includes talking about the timelines for your marriage so it won’t clash with his professional commitment

He values your input when making decisions and wants to ensure that you’re both are on the same page

📄 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji’s gentleness shines through both in action and his protective nature. We’ve seen the way he cradled and soothed Emi at Tokyo Tower after he accidentally fractured her arm, all while trying to keep himself calm after she got tranquillised by the KDF. Despite his strength as Ultraman and his athletic build, he still takes great care not to cause harm.

His physical gentleness extends to his interactions with you. Whether it’s the tender way he holds you or his carefulness during physical activities, Kenji ensures that his doesn’t go overboard with his strength

However, the same can’t be completely said for his emotional gentleness. While he has a good heart, he struggles to find the right words for reassurance. He tries emulating what his mother would say when she comforted him, hoping it would have the same effect on you as it did to him, even as an adult

He draws from his mother’s influence, replicating her warmth and security she provided, hoping it would bring you the same comfort

📄 𝐇𝐮𝐠𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Okay, we’ve seen how Kenji was literally running and jumping around with Emi outside of his cabin, you can’t tell me he doesn’t love hugs. After watching that scene, I can definitely see him sweeping you off your feet and spinning you around in his embrace during a moment of celebration or excitement (maybe when he finally wins a championship or when you accept his marriage proposal hehe)

His hugs have a grounding effect, making you feel safe in his arms. Given his athletic build, it’ll be a mixture of firmness and softness. And with his height, his hugs would be a full-body embrace, where you would be completely held

📄 𝐈 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮.𝐝𝐨𝐜

He’s not shy when it comes to verbally expressing his love to you; however, it was definitely you who said it first before he had the confidence to say it back. As your relationship deepens, he starts to initiate it too and uses other affirmations more freely, especially in private

Phrases like “aishiteru” are used sparingly and are usually reserved for serious committed relationships. He’ll probably use that every once in a while but not always, so he won’t overuse it and it’ll still hold its value

📄 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience. This is the first time he has build an emotional connection with someone (if you don’t count Ami, though I wouldn’t call that a true connection) so if he feels like the relationship is threatened by anyone, it’s only natural for him to feel some jealousy

Not saying that he doesn’t know how to act or handle his emotions— rather, he just doesn’t want to lose you. His relationship with you represents a huge step from his lonesome life, and though he does trust you deeply, there’s still some underlying doubt and insecurities.

Despite his confidence in many areas, when it comes to the matter of heart, he’s still navigating uncharted waters. However, as your relationship strengthens and he becomes more secure with your love, these jealousy moments become less frequent

📄 𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

According to the wiki page trivia, Kenji is approximately 6 feet tall (no surprise). So forehead kisses are a given, especially if you are shorter than him. He loves doing it at the most unexpected moments, it’s not too intimate for the public yet still tender.

He adores your kisses too, even if they aren’t as passionate— good luck kisses before his game, before bed, and surprise kisses.

You shared your first kiss at his place, alone together. He appreciated the privacy and having you to himself that night without any watchful eyes. You were the one that held his face and guided him, since he doesn’t do this often, or at least not in this scenario

📄 𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Before Emi stumbled upon his life, the thought of having children never really crossed his mind. His initial reluctance and emotional breakdown when he had to take care of Emi shows how unprepared he felt for the role of fatherhood. Despite eventually embracing the role and finding joy in caring for Emi, he still feels a bit iffy about having his own children (biological or adopted)

A human baby is much smaller and more delicate than a kaiju. Human infants are more vulnerable, and this amplifies Ken’s insecurities.

Every new parent will have the typical fear of not being good enough or making mistakes, and I think Ken’s insecurities stem from his past.

Ken’s strained relationship with his father, even though it was eventually resolved, left a lasting impact on him. As a child, he felt abandoned when his father stayed in Japan while he moved to America with his mother.

I feel like the sense of abandonment is a deep-rooted fear he carries into his own potential parenthood. He’s anxious that his double life as a star baseball player and Ultraman might leave his own child to feel the same way he did— confused and abandoned.

However, this might give him determination not to repeat history and ensure his child never feels the same way he did. Furthermore, the thought of his child watching him play, whether through TV or in person, might inspire him to excel in his baseball career.

He hopes that his kid will look up to him with admiration just as Emi did when she watched him practice and supported him

📄 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Unless you’re an early riser, he’s usually up before you, around 5:30-6am. He quietly gets out of bed to avoid disturbing you. His morning starts with either a run or a home workout (That scene of him jump-roping in front of the rising sun will forever be etched in my mind). He probably uses his simulation to replicate the workout scene, just like how he does with the baseball pitch

Once he completes his workout, he showers and changes into his casual clothes. By now, you would definitely be awake. He loves these little moments with you, so he puts effort to make breakfast together instead of relying on Mina to use the automated delivery system— just as he did in the scene when he was trying to feed Emi for the first time

After breakfast, Mina provides his schedule for the day and updates him on any threats, just in case he needs to leave for an unexpected mission. By 8:00 he’ll leave for his baseball training facility

📄 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Every night is not the same when it comes to living with Ultraman. Some nights, Kenji will come home late after another mission, protecting Tokyo. But if he doesn’t need to be out, he’ll be home by 6pm and will greet you with a tired smile

He will take a few minutes to unwind on the couch before he showers and changes to his loungewear. You’re always on your toes, checking for any injuries, and maybe even give him a massage if he needs it

He might rewatch some of his old video with his mom with you and share those special memories. This is significant because you’re one of the important people in his life, and sharing these moments means a lot to him

You’ll have dinner at around 7/8pm, sharing stories about your day. If he did have a good game, be prepared to hear him ramble and boast about it like you didn’t just watch his game on the TV

By 9pm, you both start to wind down, taking it slow and turning off any screens and by 10pm you’ll head to bed, cuddling together

📄 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kenji won’t open up to you immediately, especially regarding his vulnerabilities about his mother and how he doesn’t fit in. At first he’ll come off with his blasé attitude, brushing off or downplaying sensitive topics to make them seem less significant

But with your efforts, you create a safe space for him to express himself and his fears, something he’s still getting used to. You offer him constant reassurance (and trust me, be patient with him), reminding him that he can lean on you

After several sessions of you healing his wounds from a baseball game or another mission and constantly checking if he’s okay, he slowly warms up to you and grows more comfortable in opening up

You’re gonna make him weak on the knees if you keep on doting him like that and encourage him to take care of himself. He’ll have no choice but to spill everything to you because he knows you won’t think of him differently

📄 𝐏𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Even before you got together, we’ve all seen how he was with Emi, teaching her baseball and her rehabilitation training after she got injured. He never gave up on her, his patience blooming naturally.

He’s never the type to get easily angry unless you really do something that genuinely pisses him off or constantly doing something that you bothers him

After everything you’ve done for him, it’s only fair that Kenji give you the same level of patience as you do with him. The way you treat him inspired him to be better in your relationship

📄 𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐬.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Having an AI assistant that helps him keep track of his schedule and special dates makes it easier to remember anniversaries and other important events. But beyond that, Kenji is quite sentimental and has a keen eye for the little details about you.

He keeps momentous from your time together similar to how he treasures videos of his mother. These trinkets might include small souvenirs from places you’ve always wanted to visit

He uses his keep memory to choose thoughtful gifts that show how well he knows you. He might surprise you with something that reminds you of a special day you shared

Overall, Kenji’s attention to detail means he remembers and cherishes little things about you, making you feel truly seen

📄 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫.𝐝𝐨𝐜

One of his favourite memories in your relationship is when you came to watch one of his games live. Although he couldn’t see you in the audience, the thought alone of you being there gave him the boost to perform better. He probably flaunted a little just because he knew you were watching and wanted to impress you

Another memory he loves is when you made him his favourite green tea when he was sick. It sounds mundane, but it felt good having you take care of him and knowing you’d be by his side, even at his lowest. Also you tea-making skills is impeccable

📄 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Kanji’s Ultraman duties include protecting the city from any threats. When the baby kaiju egg hatched in his hands, his protective instincts kicked in when the KDF were actively searching for it. He brought it home without thinking about the consequences (fuck around and find out)— so it’s only natural that he’s protective over you too

There are different ways Ken would be protective over you. He would physically shield you by placing himself between you and the threat. I don’t know if he had any special ‘training’ as Ultraman but he is well-versed in combat and because of his athletic physique, he can handle physical threats effectively

He will probably teach you some basic self-defence techniques or emergency protocols, like having Mina track your location, just in case he’s not around

But even with all of this, he still respects your independence and personal space, the last thing he wants is to smother you. He trusts that you can handle situations on your own but always makes it clear that he’s there when you need him. He just wants to make sure you’re safe

📄 𝐓𝐫𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Having never been in a real relationship before, Kenji finds himself making an effort to make every moment special. Because he’s never had a deep connection with anyone like this, he will tend to ensure his partner feels valued and appreciated. Though he will go overboard as his fear of losing you drives him to go above and beyond

For dates and anniversaries, Kenji will plan every detail, from the venue place to the different activities. He booked a rooftop dinner that gave a view of the city for your first anniversary. His gestures can sometimes be grand and extravagant, as he wants to make you happy and create memorable moments

His dedication and efforts partly stems from people-pleasing tendencies that are shaped by his past loneliness and desire for acceptance. There’s a lingering fear of falling short and being left behind because he didn’t do enough which leads to him overextending himself, even if it is with good intentions (poor Ken…)

However, you remind him that he doesn’t need to do all of that to make you happy; you love him for who he is, not for his grand gestures. It’s an added bonus, but not a foundation of your relationship

While Kenji does struggle to maintain a balance of his grand gestures with the simplicity of his affection, his heart will always be in the right place. Your reminder that his love and presence is enough gives him a peace of mind and helps him enjoy your relationship more organically

📄 𝐔𝐠𝐥𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

We all know that at the end of the film, Ken sheds some of his arrogance from the beginning, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be completely free from it immediately. Sometimes his cockiness can get in the way, making him seem dismissive.

It’s not that he’s intentionally doing it, but he’s still learning to break away from his habits, especially if it’s harming your relationship. The last thing he wants is to ruin things because of his old character that he’s trying to fix

Just as mentioned earlier, he has never had this kind of connection with anyone, so he’s also new to being emotionally available. He struggles to communicate his feelings openly since he is used to concealing them, especially from the press and the public.

This might lead to misunderstandings and unaddressed issues. But together, you work through it, and slowly, he warms up to it

📄 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲.𝐝𝐨𝐜

This man has a whole car collection in his crib so he is definitely loaded. You can’t tell me that he doesn’t spend his money on his outfits, looking the best of the best. Kenji is fully aware of his good looks and he knows how to use them to his full advantage

He takes great pride in his appearance, not only because he’s often in the spotlight as a professional baseball player but also as way of expressing himself and his achievements

We’ve seen his outfits when he was in that interview with Ami— the blazer with the necklace. His confidence shines through in every aspect of his appearance, whether through his sharp outfits, that are perfectly coordinated, to his sleek jewelry collection

In your relationship, you appreciate his confidence and the way he takes care of himself. His vanity and fashion sense become a shared joy, with you sometimes helping him pick out outfits and new accessories. It adds to the charm and closeness to your relationship

All in all, Kenji’s vanity is a blend of his confidence and self-expression— it’s a reflection of his personality and journey.

📄 𝐖𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Although Kenji does value his independence, and even though he sometimes gets lonely, there are elements in your relationship that make him feel complete and fulfilled. Having a human companionship to come to, rather than just an ai assistant (sorry Mina, still love you), means a lot to him

Your presence provides Kenji the emotional support he craves. After a tough day, he knows you’re always there to listen to him. You both celebrate his victories, whether on the field or in his Ultraman duties. Same goes with challenging times, you both lean on each other for support

Your relationship has contributed to personal growth for both of you. Kenji has learned to be more open and expressive with his feelings. You both encourage each other to be the best version of yourselves

📄 𝐗𝐭𝐫𝐚.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Ken is definitely a foodie. While living in America, he found comfort in food and developed an appreciation for various cuisines. Because he struggled to fit in, he often turned to food as a source of solace.

He particularly loves Hispanic and South Asian food (<<self indulging here, can’t tell me he doesn’t like pani puri) for their rich traditions, even if they differ from the Japanese cuisine

When you’re together, Kenji enjoys replicating these dishes and sharing them with you. They hold a special place in his heart. His love for food isn’t just about the different flavours but the memories they bring

📄 𝐘𝐮𝐜𝐤.𝐝𝐨𝐜

One thing Kenji can’t stand from his partner is someone who always broadcasts everything about their relationship. He would prefer to keep matters like that private, especially when he has an image to maintain. The only reason he shared his mothers message at the end of the film with Ami was because it was a memory he cherished deeply

Speaking of family, after reconciling with his father, Kenji values his relationship with his family immensely. Having a partner who doesn’t respect or get along with his family would be problematic for him

Finally, one of the most important aspects is his passion for baseball and his duties as Ultraman. A partner who belittles or doesn’t support his career or responsibilities would not work out. Ken needs someone who understands and respects his dedication to both his professional and personal missions

📄 𝐙𝐳𝐳.𝐝𝐨𝐜

Okay we all know that it’s canon that Kenji sleeps shirtless :)))) yeah I don’t have to elaborate on that

I feel like he was a heavy sleeper before his Ultraman duties has taken a toll on his sleeping habits, he has to be more alert so he’ll probably become more of a light sleeper

𝐓𝐚𝐠𝐬: @clonedrone @f3r4lfr0gg3r @aise-30 @luneariaa @prettygirleli

@trasshy-artist @beabadobeee @doodlenoodleboi @just-me-and-my-world @mitski9328373

@ilovehobi101 @moonjellyfishie @unhingedsillygod @stfuchaase @myrootsgrowdeep

@mitskicain @graham-mckrackers @coinduck @n4muqr

I was surprised to see how many ppl asked to be tagged in this 🥹🥹 hopefully we have the same energy with the nsfw version

[determinate-negation]

maybe I am wrong but I think there's an interesting paradox in zionism's denial of the diaspora and it's appropriation of the diaspora because it can't form a culture without taking from the diaspora itself

its a paradox of zionism in general, from its start its been a movement that took cultural and political influence from its surroundings– being 19th century europe– its a colonial and nationalist project modeled after other colonial and nationalist european projects, yet tries to portray itself as indigenous. part of this is from shifts in political atmosphere and self-perception of zionism over the past 100 years. but there is an 'israeli culture' you can point to that is not taken from the diaspora but rather an inversion of what it conceives the diaspora to be, for the diaspora to be seen as weak, sickly, overly intellectual, cosmopolitan and disconnected from the land, thus israeli culture is more militaristic, chauvinistic, with an emphasis on the masculine, fetishizing labor and agricultural work. the paradox is this cultural conception is basically lacking everything that made jewish diaspora culture interesting and leave a long lasting mark on western history, jewish culture as a minority culture in particular. i think the cultural output of colonial or imperial nations mostly interested in projecting strength and militarism is generally poor, chauvinistic, and easily forgotten because it lacks the qualities that make particular things significant historically artistically etc. like look at the cultural atmosphere of the weimar republic, or even imperial germany (after relative) jewish emancipation and the influence of minority cultures vs cultural production in the nazi period and afterwards, or american settler culture in the colonial period vs cultural forms created by oppressed people in america. if you are interested more specifically in israels conception of itself as like a negation of the diaspora the artist eli valley made a cartoon about this, israel man and diaspora boy. israeli society historically tried to erase diaspora culture within israel, like discouraging people from speaking yiddish and banning yiddish cultural production. but also needed to construct a positive cultural identity (i dont mean positive to mean good, just like as in creating something rather than negating or destroying) and appropriated palestinian culture, through taking indigenous names, food, etc. if you want to read about this process in israel as well as other settler colonies like australia and canada and the us the article settler colonialism and the elimination of the native by patrick wolfe is a pretty significant article. i would say as far as i can tell israeli culture today seems to be mostly predicated on this, not appropriation of diaspora jewish culture, which they seem to look down on generally. but theres not much interest in israeli literature or art worldwide, besides in germany (lol), and perhaps their failure to create anything worthwhile is part of why israeli archival and academic institutions seek to claim ownership of diaspora jewish culture. part of it is just to legitimize themselves and give themselves prestige as well i think

[barcaatthemoon]

casual ii || jenni hermoso x reader ||

Your first camp with Spain after breaking things off with Alexia doesn't quite go as planed.

Previous.

"Oh god, this is a mistake. I can't do this. Jenni, I need to leave." You tried to scramble around and look for an exit, but you were stuck. Jenni pulled you back down into your seat gently. The last thing you needed was for her to think that she was annoyed with you. Coming back to Spain for a camp had been hard, especially since you had skipped out on the Olympics because you couldn't stand to play with Alexia so soon after your breakup.

"Hey, look at me, you'll be fine. If anything, Alexia is probably freaking out about having to see you," Jenni said. She had hoped that it would help, but it didn't. You chewed on the inside of your cheek as you tried to calm yourself down a bit, but it was no use. "Don't think about camp. Think about the whole weekend you're getting at Mapi's before you fly into Madrid."

The thought of hanging out with your sister was great. You had been missing her greatly since your move to America. Jenni was great to have around, but she wasn't Mapi. Also, there was still a lot of distance between you and Jenni with the older woman being in Mexico for the majority of the time. Still, she checked in on you more than anybody else, and if you weren't so afraid of opening up, you definitely would have tried to shoot your shot.

"Ah, there you are! I've been waiting so long for you to come visit," Mapi greeted you happily. She pulled you into a tight hug, holding you against her for several seconds as the crowd moved around you. She pulled away a little and turned to face Jenni. "I don't know what you said to her, but thank you for getting her to come."

"I don't know what you're talking about. (Y/n) made the decision that would be good for her career because she wouldn't let a silly breakup ruin such an important aspect of her life." Jenni spoke slowly as she looked at you, a silent reminder not to go back on your committment to your team.

"Enough about the camp. Mapi, are you sure that Ingrid is alright with me staying?" you asked. Mapi nodded as she moved to grab your suitcase. Jenni carried her own things, lagging just a bit behind the two of you on the way to the car. Your sister was excited to see you, which didn't surprise you at all. Ingrid had texted you a few times asking if you'd call Mapi to help improve her mood during your time away.

Barcelona was beautiful, and every bit your home in the ways that DC hadn't been. America was nice, but it wasn't the same. You missed the people and the culture. You were surprised that half of your old teammates weren't waiting for you at Mapi's, knowing that the woman had most likely been going on about your visit from the moment that she had found out about it.

Mapi had never been good about keeping secrets. If she was excited about something, then she wanted to tell everybody about it. She had always been this way, and to an extent, you had as well. You couldn't even begin to count all of the times that you had nearly told Mapi or another teammate about your thing with Alexia, which turned out to mean a lot more to you than it had to her.

"Hey, it's okay," Jenni said as she gently squeezed your hand. You caught a glance of yourself in the rearview mirror and realized that every bit of sadness and regret you were feeling was prominently displayed on your face. Mapi wasn't looking at you, her eyes instead locked in on the road. You were grateful for the distraction, especially when you started to blush as Jenni's hand lingered.

You could almost hear your older sister yelling at you in your head for thinking about Jenni like that. There were a lot of reasons that Mapi would have never approved. Jenni was older than her, and that was a big thing that Mapi hated. Jenni was also a teammate, and one of the only reasons that you had been able to stay in America. You felt like you weren't as alone, and if things went badly, then you had no idea where you'd run off to next. You had to stop dating teammates because you found yourself loving too much.

"(Y/n), let's go! Bagheera misses you." Mapi tugged on your arm, yanking you out of the car. You glanced back at where your backpack was still in Mapi's car, only to see Jenni carrying it up for you. She gave you a little smile and wave, the same one that made been making your heart flutter in your chest for the past few months. "Why are you dragging your feet?"

"Why are you trying to rip my arm off right before my first camp back?" you questioned. Mapi dropped your hand, which you thought was a nice alternative before she picked you up. At this, Jenni audibly laughed as you flailed until Mapi set you down in the elevator. You tried to get away from your sister by hiding behind Jenni, but the taller woman was not a willing human shield.

…

It didn't take long for you and Alexia to find yourselves alone with each other. In all honesty, it hadn't even been purposeful on either end. You didn't want to be anywhere near Alexia, and Alexia had only just begun to patch things up with Mapi, so she wasn't going to ruin that. It had been a complete accident really, one that you knew in hindsight that you should have been able to avoid.

"You've been playing differently," Alexia said.

"Is that a problem?" Your tone was snappy, something that Alexia would have punished you for before. Now, you weren't hers to punish. There wasn't much Alexia could do without you throwing something back at her face, so she didn't mention your tone.

"No, you bring something new to the team. I was just, um, noticing. I'm sorry if I was rude," Alexia said nervously. You liked the knowledge that you made Alexia nervous. "I am sorry for a lot of things, actually."

"Do you really want to do this in the locker room?" you asked. Alexia sighed as she glanced over towards you. She hadn't really looked at you much at all this camp. It felt easier for her to ignore you than own up to her actions. Alexia had always run from her feelings, but that was how the two of you had gotten here in the first place.

"I don't know if I can do this later, so I guess it has to be here. I liked seeing you in my bed a little too much for what I told myself that we were, so I freaked out on you, and I am sorry," Alexia said. You almost wished that she would have told you that sooner, but she didn't. You almost wished that she would have stopped you from going to America, but she didn't. Instead, you just wished that Jenni would realize you hadn't made it back yet.

"Alexia, I only want one thing from you. Treat me like your teammate because that's all that we are. I was never your girlfriend, forget that we slept together. I'm your teammate and best friend's little sister, that is all." You felt like you had been clear and concise with your words. Alexia stiffened up at them, almost like she was going to say something to you, but just before she could open her mouth, your knight in shining armor came running in.

"There you are. Is everything okay? You were taking a long time, and I got worried." Jenni's words came quickly as she placed her hands on your shoulders. You gave her a small nod as you turned away from Alexia completely. Jenni grabbed your bag for you as she put her other arm around your shoulders to guide you. "She didn't say anything to you, did she?"

"No, no, just an apology. Thanks for looking out for me," you said. Jenni blushed a little, but still tried to play it cool. "I only wish I would have transferred a little closer to you."

"I'm glad that you didn't. You would get sick of me if I were any closer to you. I'm just far away enough for you to want me around," Jenni reasoned. You didn't know if that was true or not, but you doubted it. You had spent years in Barcelona with Jenni close by and never gotten sick of her. Not even whenever she had teamed up with Leila and Mapi to pull pranks on you.

Those had been the good old days, and you wished that you had been smart enough to look elsewhere for affection. Alexia had always claimed that she wasn't flirting with you to get back at Mapi and Alba, but you knew better. Deep down inside of yourself, you knew that it had been for revenge. Alexia had just let it spiral, and rather than break things off early, she let you keep digging your own grave.

Anger bubbled up inside of you, stewing the longer that you thought about Alexia. You had been doing good for most of the camp, but you were reaching your breaking point. The apology hadn't brought closure, but rather the opposite. Wounds were opening and re-opening at a pace that you couldn't keep up with. And just as you were about to fully break down, you found yourself at Jenni's door.

"Let me stay. Please Jenni, just let me stay." You were begging before Jenni could even ask if you were okay. The taller woman pulled you into her room, holding you tightly in her arms as you let yourself break down. It was far from your best moment, but Jenni gave you the comfort you so desperately needed.

"I can call Mapi if you want her," Jenni offered.

"No, all I want is you," you mumbled. Jenni seemed a bit taken aback by your statement. "Why couldn't I have liked you instead of her? We could have been happy by now, and I wouldn't be ruined."

"You're not ruined. I see every single day how much love and joy you have in your heart, despite how much you hurt. Some people aren't good at seeing that, so they don't understand how easily it can be snuffed out. You've been hurt, and every single day I see how you heal from it. One day, you'll make someone very lucky extremely happy," Jenni said. You heard her words, and you couldn't help but hope that she would be that person.

"Do you think that you could love me?" you asked her. It felt like a silly question. Jenni was a loving person, and even if she never could fall for you, she'd always love you. You meant something to someone who was important to her, and you could only hope that maybe you started to mean something to her as well.

"Of course I love you. I have loved you for years, and sometimes, I wonder if maybe I'm a little in love with you too. It's hard not to be. I'll never understand what happened with Alexia, no matter how hard I try," Jenni admitted. You tipped your head back a bit to stare up at her, hoping against hope that you found something disingenuous in her, only to find true honesty instead.

"I think I'm in love with you too, if it counts for anything. I'm just scared. After Alexia, the idea of letting go terrifies me," you said. Jenni cupped your cheeks, and before she could make another move, you leaned up to kiss her. You may have hooked up with strangers a few times, but it was nothing compared to Jenni. Not even kissing Alexia felt like this. There was a distinct lack of emotion with kissing Alexia that had left you feeling somewhat empty before.

"As much as I would love to invite you back to my bed right now, I don't want to rush this," Jenni said. Her voice was nearly a whisper, as if she was afraid of scaring you off. You started to pull away, but Jenni was quick to stop you. "But that doesn't mean you have to leave right now. It's not that late…"

[vermiciousyidreborn]

So people keep assuring me that Palestinians are also indigenous to the southern levant and...well, I admit I'm skeptical of this. Like, I'm NOT advocating expelling them or genocide, etc. Those are all bad, just questioning the notion of indigeneity here. Mostly as a consequentialist. If Palestinians are indigenous to the Levant, that seems to imply other things. Let's think through this.

We're going to set aside the UN notion of indigenous because that's crafted to exclude Jews and often enough this is a statement by people who reject that and consider Jews to be indigenous, they're often saying both groups are. So...I guess that means something like "A group is indigenous to the region where they underwent ethnogenesis" so we'll take that as our definition of indigeneity. Jews are indigenous to the Levant, check. We're good. Arabs are indigenous to Arabia. All makes sense.

So, anyway, what's an ethnic group? From Wikipedia:

An ethnicity or ethnic group is a group of people who identify with each other on the basis of perceived shared attributes that distinguish them from other groups. Those attributes can include a people of a common language, culture, common sets of ancestry, traditions, society, religion, history, or social treatment.[

Ok, so common language, culture, traditions, history, etc.

So European American Protestants are indigenous to North America? Common history (going back to the 1600s!), identify as a group, believe they have a common culture (even if we need to break things up more finely, you can find common cultures, say, New England, or Midwest, wee American Nations), common language (English, which I will posit is part of why there's basically a moral panic about Spanish and has been almost my entire life, in much of the country). Note that an ethnicity "can include" and doesn't need ALL of these things.

So it seems pretty solid that European American Protestants are, at the least, a collection of ethnic groups unique to North America. Which means they did ethnogenesis here. Which means they're indigenous now.

So...let's be clear, to me this is a reductio ad absurdam. OF COURSE white US protestants are not indigenous to North America! But I've yet to see definitions that mark Palestinian Arabs as indigenous to the Levant without also implying that white Americans are indigenous to fucking Ohio (along with the rest of the country).

Especially when you consider that white american protestant as an identity in this sense is older than a distinct Palestinian identity. It just brings us to the eternal questions that the Israeli/Palestinian conflict brings up and that people REALLY don't want to discuss:

When, if ever, does indigeneity expire? Personally, I think it doesn't, and Jews are and will always be indigenous to the Levant, just like the Cherokee Nation is indigenous to the US Southeast, even though they've been displaced. Though I know many "Pro-Palestine" activists implicitly believe indigeneity does expire, at least for Jews, but even if I weren't Jewish, I wouldn't want that precedent set because it would fuck over EVERYONE

When does a colonizer become indigenous to the place they colonized? This is rarely discussed, but lies implicitly behind a lot of things. Again, I want to avoid setting bad precedents, but I don't see how Palestinian Arabs can have hit this threshold and white people in the US haven't, which leads me to reject the idea that colonizers can ever become indigenous, at least while holding onto the identity that did the colonization (White and Arab, respectively, hell, White Christian and Arab Muslim if we want to get more specific).

Now, I don't believe colonizers need to be killed or expelled, I'm generally against violence outside of self-defense, but I do think that the rhetoric we use matters, and I want to interrogate it.