#i think also the longer it goes on the harder it is to accept different interpretations?

[theirwolfbicanthrope]

I think one of the biggest drawbacks of being the primary writer for a ship/fandom is you can get so caught up in your own interpretations and headcanons. and it's not even that those are bad or wrong but having other people's takes on what you love is healthy and can even help your own grow and evolve. it opens up new avenues, things you might never have thought of on your own. that is truly my biggest frustration with some of my niche pairings and fandoms.

[atinylittlepain]

Hi, love your writing!!! Anyways, I was thinking, a Joel x Reader! One-shot, where the reader possibly messes up a deal or trade with a different group and Joel is PIIIIIISSSSSEEEDDDD (grumpy angry Joel bc yes obvi 🧎🏻‍♀️) so anyways they go back to Jackson and he slowly gets over it y'know, BUT then when the next occasion for a trade arises, Joel brings reader along and it seems like Joel is betraying the reader, trading her for supplies (possibly handing her over to enemies or some real sick people) but then he reveals its a ploy to get the upper hand on the group and the two take out (k1ll) the bandits and Joel is basically like " I would never trade you for anything even if you mess up sometimes" Yada Yada fluff 💕💕💕

-yc :3

baaaabe, apologies for my delayed reply, but i love some good angst and wanted to do it right <3

gif by @riley-keoughs

Cold as Ice

Joel Miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

when she messes up on a job, Joel's anger freezes her out harder than the biting Wyoming winter.

warnings | 18+ angst, canon-typical violence, feelingsssss

..................

She was freezing. It was the middle of winter in Wyoming, and she was shaking so hard she could barely steady her hands on her rifle. It didn’t help that she was laid out in the snow on her stomach right now, peering out from an overlook at Joel and the men he was dealing with. She knew it shouldn’t be much longer though, so she did her best to steady her focus back on the scene in front of her. 

Joel had asked her to hang back while he traded with them, men that he had encountered a few weeks back on a solo patrol shift. Always careful to keep the existence of Jackson a secret, Joel had told the men that he was a lone survivor, making camp in the valley of the mountains for the winter. While the men had accepted this lie, they had also asked to meet soon to trade, something that Joel couldn’t deny without stirring suspicion. So, he made a plan to return to the plains the next week, bringing her along for hidden back-up if need be. 

She had said yes to joining him without hesitation.​ They’ve been partners for a while, having traipsed across the states with Ellie in tow and witnessed their fair share of horrors. Somewhere along the way, they had started seeking a little more creature comfort in each other, but she had chalked it up to just that, comfort, no need for feelings messing things up. 

Where Joel goes, she goes, and vice versa. But as she shivered in places she didn’t know could shiver, she wanted more than anything to be back in town where the unfathomable luxury of space heaters exists. 

Her nose was running, snot freezing right to her face as she tried to keep her eyes on the men down in the valley, but the deep itch of cold kept forcing her to rub her face in the crook of her arm.

It happened so quickly she didn’t have time to even think of stopping it, a hard sneeze racking her body. She was lucky her finger wasn’t on the trigger, but the men still seemed to have noticed it, heads whipping around to look up the hill that she was tucked behind. She could hear a swell of heated murmuring between Joel and the men. She pressed herself as flat into the ground as she could, praying that they would chalk it up to the whipping wind or an animal. The men’s questioning chatter died down into silence and she held her breath as the only sound that remained was that of boots trudging closer through the snow. 

She craned her neck up just enough to look out over the hill, relief flooding through her at the sight of only Joel hiking toward her, the four other men receding in the opposite direction. Her relief was short-lived, however, with the way he hauled her onto her feet with a harsh hand hooked under her arm, pushing her to keep walking along with him.

“What the hell was that?” Suddenly, the cold was the least of her worries, with the way Joel was seething beside her. She stumbled over her reply.

“I-I fucked up. I’m– I’m sorry.” 

“We don’t get to fuck up. Not out here. You know that.” Her heart dropped at the harsh tone of his words.

“Wh–what happened with those guys? Where are they going?” Joel huffed, keeping his eyes forward as they continued to trek back home.

“They got spooked. Gonna have to come back in a few days to finish this fucking deal. You’re lucky they weren’t smart enough to think anything more of that sound.” It was the last thing either of them said the whole hike back to Jackson, Joel’s anger cracking and fissuring between them until the distance felt insurmountable. 

For the first time since they settled in the house Tommy gave them, she slept in her own bed that night, startling awake to the sound of Joel slamming the door to his room.

…

It had been a quiet few days back in Jackson. She had been avoiding Joel as best she could, and he did nothing to stop her, each of them taking odd shifts to stay out of the house as much as possible. Ellie had sensed there was something wrong right away and had asked her “what the fuck happened” but all she could do was sigh and shake her head at the thick heat rising in her throat. 

More than anything, she was upset at herself, that she had made such a stupid mistake. But a close second to that feeling was the wary fear she felt being the subject of Joel’s obvious ire. If they happened to cross each other’s paths, he wouldn’t so much as look at her, keeping his head down and his brow furrowed as he quickly shuffled off. She hadn’t been sleeping at all either, having gotten so used to tangling up with him each night. There was no warmth, no steady heartbeat to lull her to sleep alone in her own bed. 

She was starting to resign herself to this new reality in which Joel Miller seemed to want nothing to do with her. She told herself that she’d stick around for Ellie, but otherwise, she’d keep away from the man she had so clearly let down. This didn’t last long, however, not when Joel sought her out at the stables, sidling up next to her where she was grooming one of the mares. It was hard to look at him, and she resolved herself to keeping her attention on the horse as he spoke in a hushed tone.

“I, uh, need your help tomorrow.” She couldn’t help the scoff she let out at that.

“Why would you want my help? I’ll probably just fuck it up anyways.” She knew it was a childish thing to say the moment it left her mouth, a heavy silence falling between them after. Joel finally cleared his throat to press on. 

“Gotta go back out tomorrow to finish that deal. Nobody else can know what’s going on, Maria’d probably have my head if she found out.” Her heart sank at the realization that the only reason he was asking her for her help was because she was the only person he could ask. She let out a harsh cough to mask the thick sadness creeping up her throat, nodding at his words, but still not looking at him.

“Alright, fine. We’ll head out in the morning.” Another stilted silence fell on them. She knew Joel well enough to tell that he had something else to say, by the way he was toeing his boot into the ground and lingering next to her. But he seemed to think better of it, letting out a sigh and grumbling that he’d meet her at the gate in the morning as he was already trudging out of the stables. 

…

The silence was maddening. They had been walking for a few hours, getting closer to the meeting point, but it had felt like an eternity with the way neither of them was speaking. They had never been particularly talkative on the road, but by the time they had settled in Jackson they had warmed to each other enough to usually keep a quiet conversation going. No longer able to stand it, she finally cleared her throat, words puffing out into the cold air.

“Joel? I am sorry– about last time. I–” Before she could finish speaking, Joel came to a halting stop, pressing her back behind him, and it was then that she saw the four men coming toward them, guns cocked. Shit.

“Drop your weapons! And whoever you got tucked behind you better step out to the side.” Joel glanced at her over his shoulder, a hesitant nod as she shuffled out alongside him, both of them shouldering off their guns, palms up as the group of men closed in. 

One of the men let out a low whistle, looking her up and down like a piece of meat.

“Was that noise we heard last time you, pretty?” She pressed her lips into a thin line, trying hard not to give anything away in her expression. The men all laughed, but Joel was quick to cut through it with a firm few words.

“This doesn’t have to be a problem. We can still trade.” The men instantly steeled back into silence, the mouths of their guns all aiming at Joel. The man who seemed to be the leader sneered.

“Was I talking to you, man? No.” He turned his attention back to her.

“Why don’t you walk over to us, pretty? Then turn around nice and slow so you’re facing your man.” With four guns aimed at them, she knew the man wasn’t asking, he was telling, so she did as he said, quietly trudging through the snow closer to the group before turning around to face Joel.

“Can’t blame you for hiding this one from us, buddy.” The man sauntered closer to her and she had to will herself to keep from flinching as he pressed up behind her, frostbit fingers skittering along her cheek. 

“What’s your name, honey?” She muttered her name to the man, trying to keep as still as possible as he skated the barrel of his gun along the side of her neck. She couldn’t help the quiet yelp that escaped her lips when he brought his other hand to the swell of her thigh, squeezing hard. She didn’t dare look at Joel, shame rising like hot bile in her throat.

“S’a pretty name for a pretty girl. Don't you think your boyfriend here was a little rude for not introducing us?” The men laughed again, a sound that sat heavy in her stomach. The man behind her hummed a little, pressing his cheek against hers as he looked over her shoulder at Joel.

“Isn’t he a little old for you, honey?” The men snickered, and her eyes finally darted to Joel’s face, his eyes squinted, mouth screwed up. A shiver of fear ran up her spine because for the first time in a while she couldn’t read him, couldn’t parse out what he was thinking or feeling in that moment. She had never felt so alone.

A gasp escaped her mouth when the man wrapped his forearm around her chest, cocking the barrel of his gun right under her chin as he kept his eyes set on Joel. She thought she could see his fingers flex where his hands were still held up.

“Tell you what, pal. I’ve got a new deal for you. You let us take this sweet thing off your hands, and in return, we won’t shoot you where you stand.” Blood rushed in her ears, an icy panic settling in at the way Joel wasn’t seeming to refuse, to offer up some alternative. She couldn’t help thinking that maybe this really was it, that Joel Miller was cutting her loose and feeding her to the wolves. Her thoughts were jolted by the sound of the man cocking his gun again, pressing the barrel a little harder into her jaw.

“I’d rather not ask twice, man. Do we have a deal or not?” She could see the bob of Joel’s throat, but he refused to look at her, his gaze staying on the man holding her up. 

“She has my knife. Just let me get it back and she’s all yours.” His words felt like a quick kick to the stomach and she choked on her breath, but her mind followed fast with the realization that what Joel said was a lie. His face was still unreadable, but it was becoming clear that he had a plan. The man behind her let out a breathy chuckle before harshly shoving her forward toward Joel, he catching her forearms to steady her.

“Go ahead, then. But make it fast.” Joel finally looked at her, reaching around her to unzip her pack, she guessed to look like he really was digging around for his knife. He ducked his head down, his words a low murmur just barely heard above the whistling wind.

“Know you keep a side piece in here. You still got your knife?” She offered him a faint nod.

“I’ll cover you. On my word.” She could feel his hand in her pack closing around the pistol she had stowed in there. She met his gaze again, one more jerk of a nod followed by Joel’s muttered “now.” 

They did what they do best. She whipped around in a flash, Joel already shooting one man down as she ran up on the others. The three men left standing were so disoriented, unsure where to aim their guns, and she made quick work of a second man, striking her blade across his throat and sending him down to his knees, warm blood spurting across her face. Joel was quick to put a bullet in another one, leaving the leader for her. She was more than happy to jam her blade up into the softness beneath his ribs, watching blood gurgle out of his mouth before he slumped to the ground. 

Her hands were shaking as her eyes swept over the aftermath, but Joel quickly came up behind her, spinning her around to face him and cupping her jaw in his palms, eyes searching her expression.

“You alright? Not hurt anywhere?” She shook her head in his hold, finally letting out a stuttering laugh, making Joel furrow his brow at her.

“What? What is it?” 

“I just– really thought you were gonna let them take me for a second there. Thought you were finally done with me.” His face slackened at her words before he snapped back with a gruff scoff.

“You fucking serious right now?” She shrugged, eyes not quite meeting his.

“After last time, figured you didn’t want to work with a fuck-up anymore.” Joel made a harsh sound in the back of his throat, dipping his head down to try to catch her gaze.

“That’s bullshit. You’re my partner. I’m not gonna fucking dump you just ‘cause you made a mistake. That’s not how this works, how we work.” She finally met his gaze, a little fire kicking up in her anger.

“Oh, it’s not? Then why have you been avoiding me like the fucking plague ever since?” She didn’t get an answer, Joel breaking away and quietly muttering that they needed to get home.

Another agonizingly quiet walk back to Jackson.

…

When they got back, she was quick to stomp off toward their house, but could feel Joel watching her the whole way as he trailed behind. She was sick of getting jerked around by him, and now it seemed the tables were turned and it was she who wanted him out of her sight.

She took the stairs two at a time, quickly shuffling into the upstairs bathroom and shutting the door behind her. She wasn’t expecting there to be so much blood spattered across her face when she looked in the mirror, and the sight made her pause, her breath catching in her throat. It wasn’t the first and it wouldn’t be the last time she had to harshly scrub away the remnants of violence. 

The soft click of the bathroom door opening didn’t stop her from continuing to drag a damp washcloth across her face, skin going red and splotchy under her ministrations. 

“Hey, hey. Just stop– will you look at me, please?” Calloused hands grabbed her wrists to stop her movements, turning her toward him. Joel let out a long sigh when she still wouldn’t meet his gaze.

“Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted. I was never mad at you– was mad at the fucking situation. A-and I was trying to create some distance before I said something I didn’t mean. Never wanna hurt you– you’re– I–” he stopped himself with another sigh, leaning back against the sink. She tentatively stepped between his legs, her wrists still held firm in his hands between them.

“I’m sorry too, Joel. It was an accident– but it was a stupid one. Fucking hate that I let you down.” He let go of her wrists to bring one hand to cup her jaw, tilting her head to finally get her to meet his gaze.

“Didn’t let me down. Even if you did– more than made up for it today with the way you took out those fucking fools.” That coaxed a half-hearted smile from her as she leaned into his touch.

“We did that together.” He nodded lightly, thumb stroking the arc of her cheek and making her breath hitch.

“We did. Make a good team. Right, partner?” Her smile stretched into a grin at his words.

“Right– partner.” When he kissed her, it felt different. This wasn’t their usual lust-driven tangles. It was careful, and dizzyingly sweet, something she hadn’t known Joel was capable of. He pulled away just slightly to rest his forehead against hers as they silently followed the push and pull of each other’s breath. 

“You know I wouldn’t do that, right? Would never leave you.” She sighed, nodding her head slightly against his.

“I know you wouldn’t. But it wouldn’t hurt to be reminded every now and again.” That made him chuckle as he brought his other hand to her hip, squeezing lightly.

“Consider this your first reminder then.” 

The kiss he gave her that time was just as sweet as the first. It was all the reminding she needed.

[souliebird]

[[and then I met you || ch. 3]]

Series: Daredevil || Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader || Rating: Explicit

Summary:

A one-night stand years ago gave you a daughter and you are now able to put a name to her father – Matthew Murdock. Everything is about to change again as you navigate trying to integrate your life with that of the handsome and charming blind lawyer’s and Matt realizes he needs to protect his new family from not only Hell's Kitchen but from the world.

pt: 1 | 2 |

words: 9.1k

You change aspects of your outfit about seven times before you finally settle on something you deem acceptable.

You know the meeting isn't about you, but you can't help but want to dress nicely. But not too nicely that this will no longer be a casual lunch. You choose one of your nicer t-shirts with your nice jeans and try to be fancy by doing a French tuck, but kind of ruin the vibe by pairing it all with your walking sneakers. Minnie picked them out and they are obnoxiously neon orange, but they are incredibly comfortable and supportive. It's warm out, so you do something with your hair that is simple and won't get in the way. 

You even dabble in some make-up. Nothing fancy but enough that you no longer look a little too tired. 

Minnie, of course, is perceptive to your nerves and also wants to Dress Up. This, of course, means her Princess dress and you want her in a good mood, so you turn your daughter into a giant pink and yellow cupcake. She is absolutely thrilled to be able to wear it out so getting all packed up and ready to go goes smoothly.  You debate telling her that you are going to meet someone but ultimately decide against it. She's already picked up on how nervous you are. If you tell her she will be meeting a new person, she might start getting upset and you aren't going to chance ruining her mood. So you bundle her into her stroller and start towards the diner at a quarter 'til eleven.

You want to get there early and get all settled before Matt arrives - maybe get a few doodles in on the sketchbook you've packed so Minnie is nice and distracted. It is a pretty day out and you take your time as you walk, not wanting to get all sweaty after dressing up. 

It is a route you've taken many times before, so you let your mind wander as you stroll. 

You had needed a full day to process that you had found Minnie's father and he wanted to be in both of your lives. It recontextualized so much. You had spent your entire evening reading 'how to co-parent' articles and making lists - you now had about three pages filled with your daughter's likes and dislikes, contact information for anyone Matt might need to reach out to, and multiple different schedules. Your plan is to make him a huge binder, filled with whatever he might need to know. 

You don't know if you are going overboard or not but this is how you are dealing with everything. 

You don't exactly have anyone you can reach out to to talk with. You aren't close enough with anyone who you would feel comfortable opening up to about Matt. You know you should probably find a therapist but there is no way you can afford one.

To be fair, you aren't even sure how you feel about everything. You put your emotions aside to deal with all the practical changes and to focus on your daughter's well-being. Despite all your anxieties, everything has been going as well as you think it should go. You've only had two conversations, but you are hoping the trend continues. You desperately want Minnie to smothered with people who adore her because you never had that and you pray Matt wants the same. 

As you cross into Hell's Kitchen, your heart starts beating a little harder in your chest. You can't fight your nerves, so you try to channel them into something productive. 

"Do you know where we're going, Mouse?" You ask as you wait at a corner.

"Chicky waffles!" is the excited response, making you chuckle.

"Exactly, we're gonna go have some chicky waffles," you say with a little smile. Chicken and waffles is a featured menu item at the diner and for some reason considered your daughter's Celebration Meal. "And if you aren't too sleepy afterwards, we can do something fun."

Minnie gives an excited wiggle in her stroller, "I wanna see the duckies!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, we can go see the duckies after lunch." You are hoping the promise of something she wants to do will come with the desire to behave, even if she starts to get fussy. You know you can't stop a tantrum if meeting Matt does truly upset her, but you can try your best to deter them. 

You are being overly precautious. You know you are, but you couldn't turn your mind off if you tried. 

You've long accepted your fate and just try to navigate your anxiety the best you can.

As Minnie lists off what she's named all the ducks, you debate coming up with some talking points for her and Matt. You doubt they have similar interests, though you know that doesn't mean much - as you don't have similar interests as your daughter - but animals and food are easy discussions. You worry when it comes to art, things may get a little harder.

You have no idea how to explain blindness to Minnie. You are really hoping that Matt has that experience and can help her understand. After all, you don't actually know how much he can see. You know he needs Braille - his flirting at the holiday party all those years ago had been to ask you to read the drink menu to him - and uses a cane, but that doesn't mean he can't see shapes and such. You definitely do not want to speak for him about his abilities.

Maybe afterwards you can look up some videos to help Minnie understand better. There's a plethora of resources online, you just need to know what to look for - a jumping off point. Blind parents with Seeing children are not a new thing and you bet you can find a bunch of tactile art projects beyond folding paper that would suit Minnie's age. 

The diner comes into view and you sigh in relief over the lack of a crowd. Maybe the Fates had smiled on you and everyone else would find somewhere else to have lunch. There is no one standing around outside, so you use the space to take Minnie out of her stroller. Instantly she tries to help you unpack, dragging her backpack out of the little storage area under the seat. You grab your purse and a collapsible booster seat, then start to fold up the stroller while she patiently waits.

She's still too small to pull open the heavy glass door of the diner, but that doesn't stop her from trying. She tugs on it twice before you are able to help her. She beams up at you and you return your little girl's smile as you enter the diner.

"Oh, well don't you look special," the waitress, Linda, says as she comes around the counter with some menus. You are convinced she must live above the diner because she is always there - but it also means Minnie is comfortable with her, so your daughter does a little twirl to show off her dress.

"We're gonna see the ducks!" 

"I see," Linda coos, "Well in that case, you're going to need a nice lunch to fill you up. Lemme see now, it looks like your booth is all open, so why don't we get you all settled in?"

Minnie takes off across the diner to the booth while you lean the stroller in the corner where you've been told you can store it. Once that is done, you head over to the booth. 

Linda places a menu where you will be sitting and as you slide into the seat next to Minnie, you ask for an additional menu in Braille. She looks a little surprised at the request, but doesn't question it and the menu is quickly placed across from you.

Minnie doesn't pay attention to the second menu at all, focused on pulling out her crayons and paper. She knows as long as she doesn't make a mess she's allowed to play on the table here and she doesn't waste any time getting right to it. 

"What do you want to drink, sweet pea?" Linda asks. 

"Lemonade, please, thank you!" Minnie answers like a little princess. Linda smiles at the response and asks the same to you, without the term of endearment. 

"An iced tea, please," you reply. You wait until she turns to go back behind the counter to pop open the booster seat. You set it on the seat beside Minnie and she carefully climbs into it before going back to laying out her crayons. 

"Do you want chicky waffles?" You ask Minnie. She shakes her head, ignoring you in favor of starting to scribble. You wait a few moments, giving her a chance to think and reply but that doesn't happen. You say her name, then repeat the question.

"No, I want grilled cheese," she says, looking up, "with fruit. Please. Thank you."

"With fruit?" You confirm, a little amused at the declaration. She nods and goes back to her work. 

You refuse to check the time. You know as soon as you do you'll spiral into an anxiety attack, so instead, you drag the menu over to you and start reading it over. You don't really know what you want - your stomach is more nerves than hunger. 

Linda drops off your drinks with a little smile, "I'll be back for your orders."

"Thank you," both you and Minnie say. 

You fall into a silence, half looking over the menu and half watching Minnie drag her crayon over the page. She's got the yellow one in her little fist and you wonder what could be going on in that head of hers. You hope her thoughts are good ones - all about ducks and cupcakes and magical things and no worries exist.

The bell above the door to the diner chimes after about two minutes and you look up as Matt walks in. Your breath catches in your throat and your heart pounds hard. 

There is no argument about whether or not Matt is physically attractive - he's gorgeous and could easily be a model if he wanted to be - but you can tell that Effort was put in that morning. 

His scruff is trimmed down to a neat five o'clock shadow and his hair is a little fluffy like he's run his hand through it a few times. He's sporting a leather jacket, black tee shirt, slacks, and wing tips - he looks casual but cool. He's so incredibly handsome and for a moment you question if you're right about him being Minnie's father.

There is no way this man took you to bed. You think you're pass-ibly attractive, but he's on a whole other level of hot. 

You are so busy ogling him it doesn't register right away you need to alert him to your whereabouts. Linda makes a bee line right for him, exchanging words you can't hear. She turns to look at you, one brow raising up in question. In response, you raise your hand in acknowledgement. She nods then leads Matt over to your booth. You finally notice he is holding a pink medium sized gift bag and you can't help but wonder what is inside.

He stops at the edge of the table, brushing his fingers over it to find the boundaries. You speak first, to let him know where you are.

"Hi." 

It comes out far shyer than you mean and Linda gives a pointed 'are you serious' face.

It doesn't matter because he replies just as shyly, "Hi." 

"Um, the seat to your right is empty, with a menu in the middle of the table," you direct. Minnie looks up at him and you watch her watch him fold his cane and slip into the seat. You can tell she is curious, but cautious. 

"Can I get you anything to drink?" The elderly waitress asks and Matt asks for coffee. She then turns to go fetch that, leaving your new little family to finally meet each other.

You clear your throat and start the introductions, "Minnie, this is Matt. He is going to be our new friend. Can you say hi?"

She's quiet for a few seconds before mumbling out, "Hello."

Matt completely lights up at the greeting. His smile gets so big and boyishly happy you have to bite your lip so you don't break out into your own smile. 

"Hi, Minnie. It's…it's so nice to meet you." 

Your daughter presses the fist clutching the crayon to her mouth as she looks Matt over. Her little eyes dart all over his features before she turns her head to look up at you. Her brow scrunches up in a way you know means she wants to ask something, so you gently prompt her.

"Do you want to ask something, Mouse?"

She gives a barely there nod. 

"Okay. You can take your time. Is that okay, Matt?" You say, gently redirecting the conversation back to him.

"Take your time," Matt tells her, his voice so soft and sweet. Encouraging.

She squirms in her seat and you quickly offer up your hand so she can hold onto it. She grabs your hand with her non-dominant one and squeezes tightly, needing the anchor to know everything will be okay - only then does she talk, her mouth hidden behind fist and crayon. 

"You're Mommy's friend?" 

Matt nods, smile still on his face, "I am. Or I hope to be. I'd like to be your friend, too."

Minnie rocks side to side in her booster seat, still looking over Matt like she's trying to parse out his motive. Despite not being able to see her contemplating, Matt waits patiently until the next question comes.

"Is it…your Birthday?" She asks after about ten seconds.

Matt shakes his head, his smile going from bright to a little softer, "No, it's not. This," he picks up the gift bag and places it in front of Minnie on the table, "is for you."

Her head automatically turns to look up at you with big questioning eyes, silently seeking permission. You gently squeeze her hand, "You can open it."

She pulls away from you and reaches out to pull the bag closer. It's too tall on the table for her to see into, so she very very gently, like she's scared it will break, tips it over onto its side. The packing tissue matches the bag and your little one gets distracted by that for a moment. She scrunches paper so it crinkles and folds before pulling it out and handing it off to you to hold. You assume that means she wants to keep it, as she knows wrapping paper gets thrown out. To your surprise, the tissue is thicker than what you are used to - it won't rip to shreds if you look at it too hard. That must be why she wants it - it's something to play with later.

A delighted shriek rips through the diner making you and Matt and everyone else in vicinity visibly wince.

"It's Scooby!" Minnie absolutely screams, revealing what is in the bag. It is indeed a Scooby Doo plushie - one of the good quality ones that looks extremely soft to the touch. He's seated and you can tell he has weighted paws to keep him upright and he looks more like a puppy Scooby than the one from the old show, but you know that doesn't matter. 

Mouse loves him. 

She practically shoves the plush in your face to show you. "Mommy, it's Scooby!"

Her excitement makes you laugh and rub at her back, "I see. Do you like him?" She nods before smashing the plush into her chest and hugging it tightly. You smile more, "What do you say to Matt?"

Matt has the biggest smile on his face and that, plus the gift, seems to soothe Minnie's anxiety. She looks right at him, matching his smile with her own beaming one, "Thank you, Mister Matt!"

"You're welcome, sweetheart." 

You can hear the emotion in Matt's voice and it touches your heart. He looks just so happy. You get the feeling he would have been crushed if she hadn't liked the toy.

Minnie holds Scooby up and out to Matt and wiggles him back and forth, "Do you like Scooby? I love Scooby. He's my favorite - he solves mysteries! With Shaggy!"

"I haven't watched cartoons in a long time, but I remember Scooby Doo. I liked the girl with the glasses," Matt replies gently. You give a pleased hum at his response.

"Velma! That's Mommy's favorite!" Minnie exclaims, hugging her new toy again. She's so excited and wiggling with delight. You can't fight your smile as you watch her - and how could you? Matt's own smile is infectious. 

"Oh, is she?" He asks and your little girl gives another eager nod. 

"Uh-huh. 'Cause she's not scared of the monsters!"

That earns a little chuckle from both you and Matt, and he asks, "Are the monsters scary?"

"Yeah! But - but they are really just People," she screws up her face and emphasizes the word, pausing before starting again, "so they aren't Really scary." 

"Ah, I see. Velma must be pretty brave to not be scared of the monsters."

"Mommy's braver," Mouse says proudly, puffing up her chest. She puts emphasis between each word,  "Mommy's not scared of anything." 

Your cheeks burn at her declaration. 

"Is that so?" Matt asks, tilting his head a little towards you, his smile turning amused. You can tell he knows it's not true, but he won't break her illusion.

"I try to be," you say, rubbing Minnie's back again,  trying to get her to calm down just a little bit. She's too happy over the new play thing to be nervous. Matt's done good - she's going to want to talk about cartoons - at least until food comes. 

Linda has been eyeing your table and finally breaks away from the counter to come over to you, dropping off Matt's coffee then taking out her order pad. 

"Can I get y'all started on some food?"

Minnie's attention is ripped away from Scooby and she looks up at the waitress. She squirms in her seat to sit up even taller and proclaims, "I want grilled cheese. With fruit. Please. Thank you."  

She's ordered her own food from Linda before, though usually with not such confidence. You think this is part of her push to be a Big Girl. She's gotten to the age where she's started telling you she's not a baby anymore, even if you disagree, and you wonder if she's trying to impress Matt by showing that. You think it's absolutely adorable. 

You can tell Linda does, too.

"One grilled cheese with fruit for the cupcake. How about Mom?"

You consider your options and decide quickly what you want, "Let's go with a grilled cheese with french fries."

Linda jots down the order and turns her attention to Matt, "and the sir?"

"I think I'll have to round it out and get a grilled cheese with fries."

Linda laughs to herself like she's very much enjoying the free reality show she is getting. "Three grilled cheese, two fry, and one fruit coming right up. Think about what y'all want for dessert." 

You duck your head in embarrassment, knowing you are turning pink at the tease. You know she knows Matt is Minnie's father. She looks just like him and sitting there smiling together, there is no denying it. You don't need a DNA test. 

One hundred percent, Matt Murdock fathered your precious little angel.

And Linda seems to think this is the Best Thing in the World. She is absolutely thrilled and you know she's going to gossip with the cooks. 

Matt's got a blush to his cheeks as well, licking his lips shyly.

That makes you blush even more.

Minnie is totally unaware of the implications and declares she wants a sundae.

"Okay, then, I'll go get your order in so you can get that faster," Linda tells her before going to check on the next table. 

"Cupcake?" Matt questions once she steps away, raising his brow over his glasses as he does. His smile is turning into a smirk and you think he's over being shy now. At least towards you. 

"Minnie is sporting her Princess dress," you advise. You don't think his smile can get any bigger.

"A princess dress? Am I under dressed?"

You gently nudge your daughter, "Can you tell Matt about your dress?"

Minnie hugs Scooby to her chest before happily launching into a description of her dress, "It's pink! And yellow! And puffy! It has sparkles! And I can run in it."

"You can run in it?" He clarifies. The answer is a vigorous nod, so you jump in to help.

"The bottom is kind of like a tutu - lots of tulle. It only goes to her calves, so it won't drag on the ground. She looks like an upside down cupcake." You don't know if that helps at all, but he doesn't push for more information. 

"It sounds like a really good Princess dress. Does that make you the Queen?" He teases. It gets a giggle from your daughter, which only makes you blush more. He directs his next inquiry to Minnie, once she's done laughing at you.

"Can you tell me what your Mommy is wearing?"

Your little one doesn't question why Matt needs things described to him and jumps right in, always so eager to please, "Mommy's wearing her fancy pants and a pretty top and she's got pretty hair. She looks pretty." Matt makes a pleased little noise over her description, encouraging her to continue on.

You resist the urge to hide your face in your hands. Your pants aren't fancy - she just rarely sees you outside leggings and sweatpants. You are going to have to take her to nicer places so she doesn't think jeans are formal wear. And pretty? Well, Mouse thinks everything is pretty.

"Do you think Mommy's pretty?" Minnie boldly asks instead of describing you more and you feel like you are going to die. You'd much rather prefer if she was being shy right now.

"I do," he says gently and of course it makes your blush even harder. This meeting should be about him meeting Minnie, but it is apparently about them ganging up on you to explode your heart out of your chest. "My eyes got hurt when I was a kid, so I can't see through them anymore. I see things through hearing and touching. I think you're Mommy has a very pretty voice. I like how she says different words. I can't see you're Mommy rubbing your back, but if I listen I can hear it. I can't see that your Mommy is wearing a pretty shirt, but now that you told me, I know. I use my hands to find out what shapes things are and where things are around me." He demonstrates by gently, and exaggeratedly, patting the table until he finds the menu. Mouse watches in fascination as he pushes it to be between them. 

"I can't read like your Mommy can anymore with my eyes, so instead I use my fingers. Each set of bumps is a letter. It's called Braille and it's the English alphabet for people who use their fingers to read instead of their eyes."

You watch as your daughter listens to the explanation. She scrunches up her face as she processes the information, before looking down at her hands. She flexes her fingers a few times before looking back up at Matt. 

"You got hurt?" She asks. Matt nods and gives an affirmative, pulling the menu back towards him. Part of you wonders if he's explained being Blind to a child before - his words and the concepts are simple enough for your little one to grasp. You're glad you left this to him.

"Something bad got in my eyes and made them not work anymore." You know this is something your daughter understands - she's gotten things in her eyes before that made it hard for her to see. You can see the dots connecting in Mouse's mind - she rubs a little fist into her left eye like it's irritated.

"Do you need a band-aid?" Minnie asks before dropping her arm with a little gasp, "or a kissy? Mommy gives me a kissy when I get hurt." Her concern is adorable and before Matt can answer her, she's jutting her new toy out towards him again, "Scooby can give you a kissy."

You can't see Matt's eyes behind his red glasses, but you can totally tell Minnie has already got him completely wrapped around her little fingers. You don't know if it's instinct to love her or he's just charmed by her sweetness. 

"Thank you, sweetheart. I don't need one right now, it happened a long time ago. They've healed, they just don't work anymore. But if you could help tell me what things look like, I would very much appreciate that." His words are gentle and your daughter absolutely lights up over being asked to help. She loves to help.

"I can do that! I know what lots of things are!" She's practically bouncing in her seat, and deciding this is something you need to practice as well, tell Matt as such. 

He tilts his head towards you, and it might be a trick of your mind, but for a moment his smile looks a bit softer before his attention is pulled back to Minnie. She's holding up Scooby again - you think she's not going to let go of the toy for the rest of the day - and once both you and Matt are focused on her, she starts describing him the best she can. 

"He's brown and he's got a big head and he's a dog!" She turns the toy so it's back is facing Matt before telling him Scooby has black spots, "But not like Pongo. Only a little bit of spots. Pongo has.. Pongo has ten spots." She nods with authority over her assessment and you smile down at her, pride warming your heart. 

"Thank you for telling me what he looks like," Matt says gently, making your little one just beam back at him. "You're very good at it."

You lean on your fist and watch her giggle and hide her face against Scooby. You don't want her to get too embarrassed and not want to talk, so you guide the conversation to something easy for her. 

"Do you want to tell Matt about what we're going to do after lunch?" You ask, knowing it's a topic that excites her and she won't be shy, but it's also something he can relate to. 

Across the table from you, Matt leans forward a little, clearly giving all his attention to Minnie, "Are you going to do something fun after lunch?"

The question gets her to look up from trying to hide away and she nods. She pushes her drawing, which has been ignored since Matt arrived, across the table towards him. You think she doesn't fully understand the concept that Matt cannot see yet, but she'll figure it out. 

"She's sliding you her drawing," you say to try and help. You don't know if he needs more description than that - you can't remember how assistive you were during your night together. You're hoping it's another conversation you can have so you can adapt better to his life. 

Matt feels around the table in front of him until he finds the notepad and he pulls it towards him. Minnie presses her face back into her plushie as she watches him run his fingers around the paper. You are all silent as he locates one of the circles Minnie has scribbled and begins to trace it. His lips begin to twitch at the corners and you wonder what he is thinking - what he is feeling.  You hope this isn't a cruel thing - Minnie trying to show him her art. 

You can tell he can feel the indentation of the crayon being pushed into the paper and you hope it is enough. You are definitely going to look into tactile art when you get home. You don't want to risk being this cruel and embarrassing again. 

"We're gonna see the duckies," Minnie says after a beat and much to your surprise, she pushes herself up so she can reach across the table and places her finger on a circle Matt's not touching. "That's Quack." 

Matt moves his finger to brush against hers, grounding where he is then begins to trace that circle, "This one is Quack?"

"Yeah! He's yellow. And this one," she pushes her finger to the third scribble, which is more square than circle, "is Moose. He's mean." 

"He's mean?" Matt asks as he follows her finger with his own. The drawing is not very big, so he easily finds her finger again, bumping up against hers. All the yellow circles and shapes look the same to you but you know that isn't the case to your daughter and listening to her explain to Matt makes you want to pull out your camera and record the breathtaking smile he has right now.

You're sure there's plenty of time for that later. You're not going to break the moment getting out your phone.

"He bites," Minnie says wisely, like it's a warning. Matt takes it as such and nods in understanding as he follows her finger around the drawing.

"That is mean. You shouldn't bite people," Matt replies, taking in the shape of Moose. "What color is he?"

"He's yellow too," she answers, "but he's only got one feets. That's why he's mean." She carefully moves herself back so she can plop down in her seat. "Mommy says…Mommy says he can't runs away so he bites."

You turn your head a little so you can smile into your hand. Hearing her repeat something you have previously told her always makes your heart melt - she's learning and retaining and growing up. Soon, she won't be your little baby girl. 

"That's right, sweetie," you praise. "He can't run away like the other ducks, so to tell people to stay away, he bites. How do you keep from being bitten?"

Minnie screws up her face in thought and you glance at Matt to gauge his reaction. He still has his hand on the drawings, though he's stopped tracing them since she sat down, and he looks so enraptured by your daughter - his daughter. 

As if he senses you looking at him, he sends a soft smile your way. You return it, not caring that he can't see it. This happy little moment is perfect in your eyes.

"You can only pet the duckies at the zoo," Minnie says after a few moments of thinking. She looks up to you to make sure that is the correct answer and you nod, smiling down at her.

"Exactly, we can only pet the ducks at the zoo. Those ducks like to be pet. The ducks in the park don't want to be pet, so we don't touch them," you gently reinforce. 

"That is a good way to keep everyone happy," Matt agrees, moving his hand away from the notepad so he can take a drink of his coffee. 

Minnie quickly moves to mimic him and you watch as she carefully brings her glass of lemonade closer. Linda already provided a straw, so you don't need to worry about her trying to pick up the glass so you'll let her do this herself unless she asks for help. She has to sit up straight, but Mouse is able to wrap her lips around the straw and take a few sips.

Then of course, as soon as she's done she holds Scooby up to the straw and pushes his muzzle against it a little too hard. Your hand flies out to stabilize the glass before it can wobble too much. You don't chastise her, as she did nothing wrong, and simply hold the lemonade while she plays.

"Slurp slurp slurp," Minnie whispers to herself before 'walking' the toy back into her lap. 

"Do you like watching the ducks?" Matt asks once she's done, bringing her focus back, and instead of nodding, your little one makes Scooby nod for her before she turns him over and starts messing with his weighted paws.

"They're funny. They have lots of fights. And put their butts up in the water." You try to not huff at her description, as she is not exactly wrong. Part of you wants to jump in and explain what she means, but you want her to bond with Matt. You don't want her to rely on you as a go-between for explaining things to one another. They need to learn each other's language. 

"They put their butts up?" Matt asks bewildered and you don't know if it's genuine or played up for Minnie. 

Either way, your little girl giggles, "When they go down in the water. They go butt up!" She looks up at Matt then turns her plush over so his tail is pointed towards the ceiling, "like this!"

You do decide to intervene at this point, tapping on Minnie's shoulder so she looks up to you, "Matt can't see with his eyes, remember? You need to tell him what it looks like or let him feel."

You can see the little wheels turning behind her eyes as she mentally puts the pieces together. She looks back to him then plonks Scooby face down, ass up on her notepad. 

"Like this," she repeats before patting the sides of the plushie. She then leans back in her seat and smiles at Matt, proud of herself. You bite your lip, waiting to see what Matt does. 

He doesn't push for or request more description, instead quickly finding the edge of the notepad, then feeling over Scooby. You're pretty sure he's putting on a show of patting over the toy by the way it's making Minnie giggle. 

"Do you know why they put their butts up?" He asks and you wonder how much longer you will be talking of duck butts. It's cute, but you are also in public. Matt seems to not care at all so you push aside any embarrassment creeping at the edge of your psyche. 

They both absolutely deserve this.

Your little one shakes her head with a 'not-uh' at Matt's question. You've told her why before, but you are sure she's forgotten - it is not useful information to her three year old brain. 

"It's so they can get food underwater," he says as he flips Scooby over so he's sitting properly again. "They float on the water, but their food is underneath them." He bounces Scooby lightly, like he's floating in water. As she watches and listens, Mouse sticks her little hands into her mouth. "They have to dive down to get it, because they don't have hands to pick it up," he demonstrates by tipping the stuffed dog forward, so he's once again face down ass up. "So they end up sticking their butts out of the water. They look for food like this."

As he finishes his explanation, he pushes Scooby towards Minnie, pretending to make him snuffle and sniff for her, including making the sound himself. She hides her face behind her hands, giggling loudly, "There's no food here!"

"Oh no, there's not?" Matt asks in an overly dejected voice, tilting Scooby back up so he's sitting. He lets go of the plush and to keep up the fun atmosphere, you quickly pick it up instead.

You bounce the toy towards your daughter, teasing lightly, "is he going to have to gobble you up instead?"

"No!" She mock wails, lightly kicking her feet and still hiding her face, "I'm not food!"

"Are you sure?" Matt asks, leaning forward a little bit. "You look like food to me."

"Nom nom nom," you say in a deep voice, having Scooby's muzzle bump into her arm repeatedly. His pun doesn't dawn on you until Mouse starts squirming around and giggling.

"Noooo!"

"Well, looks like I'm here right in time," Linda declares as she very suddenly appears at the end of the table holding a tray with your orders. You flush in embarrassment, instinctively moving to sit up straight and behave and pulling Scooby into your lap. You feel like a misbehaving kid who got caught playing in class.

Matt has the most shit eating grin on his face, like he doesn't care who saw him playing with Minnie. He probably doesn't - this is his first time meeting her and it's going so well. 

Your meals are placed in front of you, with Linda narrating to Matt where his plate is and where the food is on the plate when she sets it in front of him as she collects the menus.

"Thank you, Linda," Matt says from across the booth, managing to look and sound boyishly charming.

Again, almost instantly, Minnie copies him, giving her biggest and brightest, "Thank you, Miss Linda!" 

"Thank you, Linda," you echo with your own little smile because you don't want to be rude and because you know she'll fucking love it. 

"Well isn't that just the sweetest thing you've ever seen," she coos at you and you have to bite your lip so you don't laugh. You just know she is going to corner you at some point and demand answers. But that is for later, right now you are in your own bubble.

Beside you, Minnie helpfully pipes up, "Mister Matt can't see, you have to tell him what you see. Or let him feel." 

You close your eyes tightly so you don't cringe or laugh. Your little Mouse is trying her best to do what she has been taught and you can't fault her at all. Linda gives a surprised yet amused laugh while Matt addresses your daughter. You can hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you, Minnie, that's right. She's talking about us and I know that, so she doesn't need to explain. I appreciate your help in telling her, though." You look over to your daughter to gauge her reaction and she is still all smiles and Love.

"You're welcome!" She brightly replies then turns her attention to you and the toy in your lap, "Mommy, can I have Scooby?"

Linda gently taps the edge of the table with her knuckles as she steps away from the table, "Y'all enjoy your food and let me know if y'all need anything else." Her grin is enormous, and you'll have to give a nice tip for not completely embarrassing you.

You thank her again and once she's left, you pass Scooby back to Minnie, with a gentle reminder, "Put him to the side, so he won't get dirty." She nods in understanding, taking him and plopping him on the other side of her booster seat. Then she leans on the table and stretches her little arms until she can grab the napkin holder on the other end of the booth. Before you realize what she's doing, she yanks a handful of napkins free and falls back into her seat with an "oof".

"Are you alright?" Matt quickly asks, reaching his hand out over the table towards her like he can actually catch her from there if she falls. 

His instinct to protect her makes your heart sing as you answer, "she's okay. Mouse, if you can't reach, you can ask for help." You still pat over her to make sure she's completely okay and it causes her to squirm in her seat.

"I can reach," is her slightly pouty reply. You don't want to get her cranky when she's been doing so well, so you let this pass and pull your hands away.

"Okay, sweetheart, just be careful, okay?" 

Instead of answering, she ignores you and slowly she starts to unfold the napkins one by one. You have no idea what she is doing so you just watch. For a moment - then you remember Matt has no idea what is going on and you try your hand at narrating, "She grabbed napkins and now she is unfolding them."

"Why are you doing that, sweetheart?" He asks your daughter, brow knitting up and mouth turning into a frown. 

She looks up at him as she pulls open another napkin and lays it flat on the table, saying like it's the most obvious thing, "Scooby doesn't have a lap."

"Scooby…doesn't have a lap?" Matt clarifies, clearly confused. You are as well until Minnie turns and starts draping the napkins over the plushie, covering him with them like a patchwork ghost. 

Then you get it. "He doesn't have a lap to hold his napkin." 

Realization dawns on Matt's face and he huffs in delight, "Of course." He makes a big show of taking the napkin around the silverware of his place set and putting it in his lap, even though your little one barely looks up at him. "We don't want to get dirty while eating."

"No crumbs," you agree, taking your napkin and putting it into your lap. You are constantly amazed by what your little girl retains - usually you have to put the napkin on her lap or remind her. Big Girl table manners is something you've only just started working on and pride swells in your chest at her actions. Even if she's just trying to impress Matt you are thrilled your lessons are working.

Once Scooby is hidden under napkins, Minnie puts one still folded napkin into her own lap. She pats it carefully so it's flat. As she does that, you check her plate to make sure everything is ready for her. Her kid's grilled cheese is already cut into four triangles, so you don't need to make anything smaller for her, and the fruit cup doesn't require any help. She's big enough to be able to stab the cut fruit with a fork and eat it on her own. You don't need to fuss with anything on her plate, so you start picking at your french fries. Matt has the same idea as you, going for his side instead of the main, but your daughter picks up the closest quarter of her sandwich and starts to nibble at it, like the Mouse she is.

A comfortable silence falls over your booth as you all start to eat. 

You're still a little hesitant to trust everything is really going so well. You've conditioned yourself to believe that eventually everything will always fall apart - you just need to give it time. People leave and things go wrong, and you're left hurt and alone to pick up the pieces. You pray and hope and wish this curse the universe has put on you doesn't get passed down to your daughter. As long as you are breathing you won't leave her - and maybe if you believe hard enough Matt has come into Minnie's life and you are only there by extension, things won't come crashing down around her. 

You'll fight tooth and nail for her well-being if it comes down to it, but it's something you don't want to have to do. She deserves a good, easy life.

Matt breaks you from your depressing thoughts, tilting his head and that handsome sweet smile towards Minnie, "How is your grilled cheese, Minnie?"

She looks up at him from behind her food, eyes going wide at being addressed, like she forgot Matt was even there. She sets down her half-eaten slice before answering, in a shy little mumble, "...it's yummy." 

"Yeah?"

You duck your head with a fond smile. After the brief excitement of playing, of course she reverts back to being shy. You can sense she wants to start squirming and hiding at the direct attention, so you try to redirect the energy. It's amazing how bold you can be when trying to comfort your daughter. You can let yourself be uncomfortable until the cows come home, but you don't want her to experience that.

"Matt, can you tell Minnie a little about yourself?" You ask, maybe a little bit louder than you intended to.

He tilts his head towards you just slightly, his lips parting slightly and brow furrowing like he doesn't quite get why you asked that now. But he doesn't question you, instead leaning back into his seat to think over the question. 

You want Minnie to know more about Matt to get more comfortable with him but you are also curious. Hearing what someone says about themselves is more telling than reading about them in online news articles.

"Let's see, I first met your Mommy a few years ago at a party. That's how we became friends.  My other friends and I run a law firm where we help people when they get in trouble," He pokes at his fries while he talks and that seems to help Minnie relax more. She picks up her grilled cheese triangle and resumes eating while she listens. "I grew up here in Hell's Kitchen and want to help all my neighbors the best I can, because they are good people who don't have a lot of people to help them. I am able to help them, so my friends and I do the best we can to help them if they need it. I want to live in a happy place where people help each other." 

You have no idea if he has experience talking to three year olds, but you think he'll have no problems with Minnie. Even if she doesn't understand exactly what he's saying, she watches him with interested eyes and you can tell she's taking in the information the best she can. Even if she's getting shy again, it's obvious Matt doesn't scare her. 

"You help people?" your little one asks as Matt eats another fry. "Like a police man?"

He shakes his head, "No, after the police man comes. Like, if a police man thinks someone did something bad, but they didn't. They need someone to come tell the policeman they are innocent. That means they didn't do the bad thing." 

Mouse pauses her chewing, sandwich still partly in her mouth. You haven't really discussed the topic of police with her - she's just three after all, but you know from the shows she watches the police are viewed in a good light. Personally, you've seen the bad side and know very well Matt helped clearing out the corrupt cops in Hell's Kitchen, but the concept the police might get something wrong seems to be a big one for her. Her little nose and brow scrunch up as things roll around in her head. 

Matt seems to realize she's processing, as he continues to eat his fries and wait for the next question. 

Finally, she puts her sandwich back down and looks up at Matt with slightly narrowed eyes.

"Are you Spidey-man?"

You try very hard to not laugh at the series of emotions that fly across Matt's face. First, he looks confused, then he makes this face like he smelled something bad, curling up his lips a little, before forcing it back into a smile with the help of a deep breath. 

"No, sweetheart, I'm not Spider-Man, I'm a lawyer." 

Minnie visibly deflates with a tiny 'oh', picking up a new sandwich triangle to start eating while looking like she's been told Christmas has been canceled. You suck on your bottom lip so you won't laugh. Across from you, Matt looks like he's angry at himself for not being Spider-Man and for disappointing Mouse over the fact - like how dare he not be the spunky superhero. 

You feel the need to intervene before the mood shifts into something negative.

You pick up one of your french fries and wave it a little at Minnie to get her attention, "Matt can't be Spider-Man, Mouse. He's too tall." That gets her to look up at him again and he offers her this tiny hopeful smile. You feel like he's silently begging her to not be upset at him over something he can't control. "Remember? The balloon lady said he was as tall as her and Matt's taller than that." 

You have no idea if she even registered how tall Matt is or if she can even mentally compare his height to the height of someone she's never seen in person, but you know pointing out how things are different in the past has worked.

She screws up her face at your words, carefully considering them, then finally nods and declares, "He's too tall to be Spidey-man." And just like that, everything is fine and she goes back to eating. 

You grin to yourself and pop your fry into your mouth. Matt sits there, like he needs his own moment to process what happened. You are used to toddler wild mood swings and how to deal with them - you speak fluent Minnie logic. It will take him time to learn and you are sure there will be plenty of chances for it. He will be a master of it in no time if his fancy law degree is any indication.

Matt clears his throat after a long pause before picking up half of his sandwich, "Is he your favorite superhero?"

You wonder if he is really ready for this conversation. Minnie is part of the first generation to grow up with Super Heroes being a Real thing and not from war stories and comic books. You've tried to keep her away from all the news stories about all the horrible world events that keep happening, but capitalism sure loves to sell the idea and you can't fight capitalism. You're half convinced the Avengers are funded by their merchandise sales alone. Spider-Man isn't a part of all that, as far as you know, but New York loves the guy and you can get bootleg Spider merch on most street corners. Which you have, because Mouse thinks he's Cool. 

"He saved a kitty," she says with lots of pride in her voice. "I saw on TV." 

You remember the news segment from a few weeks prior: someone had filmed Spider-Man rescuing a cat that had gotten stuck in some construction equipment. It was heartwarming.

"He saved a kitty?" He asks, pretending to be in awe. Minnie gives a vigorous nod before shoving more of her grilled cheese into her mouth.

"She's nodding," you narrate, finally moving to eat your sandwich. "It was a daring rescue. I had to save the video on my phone so we can rewatch it. It was on top of a crane."

"Do you like Spidey-man?" Mouse asks as soon as she swallows her food. You know he can't see you, but you still look at Matt with raised eyebrows, wanting to know his answer as well.  

"Well, based off what you said, he sounds like a good man. He wasn't around when I was growing up, so I'm partial to Captain America. I used to read his comics when I was little like you." It's a very diplomatic and lawyer-y answer and it makes you wonder if Matt even likes the topic. Hell's Kitchen did get the short end of the stick in the Battle of New York and the whole thing might be a touchy subject, especially considering his career. You know developers tried to take advantage of all the destruction and that must have caused a tonne of legal trouble. 

Not that Minnie knows any of that, so you try to divert the conversation with the first thought that comes to mind, "what about ducks, Mr. Murdock, are you a fan of ducks?" 

Your question throws him for a moment, but eventually he hums at the inquiry before nodding, "I do like ducks. Even ones who bite." He shoots you a little smile, something charming that makes your heart stutter. So instead of continuing to look at him, you turn to your daughter.

"Do you think we should invite Matt to visit the ducks?" You ask, wanting to make sure she is comfortable with the idea before properly asking Matt if he would like to come along. You have no idea if he has plans after this or not, but it is worth a shot.

Minnie looks from you to Matt and back again, pursing her lips in thought before lowering her voice into an unintentional stage whisper, "Mommy, he can't touch the duckies."

You try your best to not coo at her concern. You want to wrap her up in your arms and never let anything bad happen because how can your little angel be so thoughtful after only knowing him for half an hour?

"It's okay, sweetie," Matt softly says, and you turn your gaze to him. You swear you can feel the emotion coming off of him in waves - the desire to spend more time with his daughter, to learn more about her and bond. "You can help describe them to me, if you want. If you want me to come with you." 

The last part hits home - you are very familiar with that way of speech. The want and ache to be included but knowing you'll most likely be denied the opportunity. 

It feels like an infinity passes before she looks away from both of you and shyly admits, "I can help." She was so enthusiastic with her new toy and you do want to try to get that energy back. The park is one of the places she forgets to be a timid little mouse and you are hoping once she's not trapped in the booth, it will be easier for her to express herself.

"May I go with you to visit the ducks, Minnie?" He asks so proper and politely and it makes your stomach do funny things. You really do not understand how this wonderful man picked you of all people to sleep with.

Mouse squirms then pushes her wrist against her mouth, mumbling into it, "I wanna see the duckies. With Mister Matt. And Mommy."

You lean in and gently kiss the top of her head, rubbing at her back to silently tell her she did such a good job. "We'll all go see the duckies after we finish eating. All together."

Minnie peeks up at you, that shy sweet smile brightening to a look only reserved for Mommy, "We're gonna see the duckies. All together."

From the other side of the booth you hear Matt confirm in the softest voice, like you weren't meant to hear it.

 "All together."

tags list:

@midnightreids @cloudroomblog @yeonalie @thychuvaluswife 

@dorothleah @mattmurdocksstarlight @mars-on-vinyl @mywellspringoflife @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @simmilarly @soupyspence @darkened-writer @akila-twt

@murc0ckmurc0ck @groovycass @sumo-b98 @just3rowsing @tongueofcat @zoom1374

@theclassicvinyldragon @aoi-targaryen @lunaticgurly @nikitawolfxo @shireentapestry @snakevyro @yondiii @echos-muses @honeybug-victoria @the-bisaster @ristare @mrs-bellingham @eugene-emt-roe @cometenthusiast @stevenknightmarc @hunnybelha @Specialagentjackbauer @yarrystyleeza 

[lifegoesonevenifeverybodyisgone]

Needle-Grass 03: Windsong and Avgust are kindred spirits (and a little bit of Windla)

Windsong and Avgust's age difference is the same between me and my youngest brother so their bond in the Rayashki story hits different. Like if I didn't have delays in college, then I would be in a field internship at this point or be writing my thesis. Like how is Windsong a doctor at 22!? I'm 21 and I am still doing readings and analysis, not going out in the field as the ONLY REMAINING researcher in your school of thought!

Anyways, back on my previous post, I can definitely tell that those two are kindred sprits since I first watched the Farewell, Rayashki. When Windsong and Avgust first met, Windsong's perception of him changes when it is clear that Avgust has a boundless wonder and curiousity for the world. (Perhaps just like him, she too had that boundless wonder and curiousity until it was stomped down by the people around her)

She was pretty formal and awkward with the people of Rayashki at first but from the get-go she already considered Avgust her friend.

It hits harder when you consider that Avgust is seen as the "weird kid" or someone that people don't easily understand. Early on from the first chapter, when he goes missing, Evgeni expresses annoyance on having to deal with Avgust's quirks.

Unlike Windsong's experience, at least he has Vila to defend and support him even if he is unconventional from the rest of the kids. Since he is the youngest of the kids and the most easily misunderstood, I noticed in official art and in the game that Vila is always holding Avgust close or affectionate to him. Now let's go back to when Vila and Windsong first met.

Vila overheard the conversation between Avgust and Windsong, which I believe is what caused Vila to be drawn towards Windsong in the first place (but of course, initially she is cautious).

NOW carefully look at the 03 Needle Grass, where Vila and Windsong have their intial conversations.

As we can see, the description for this part describes Avgust, Vila, and Windsong respectively. The main thing about this part is that it establishes the dynamics of the main three and begins the start of Windsong getting the support she needs and considering herself as part of Rayashki. In a sense, if this was a play, this is when the actors take their places on the stage.

So basically to summarize it, it basically starts with Vila checking Windsong out: asking her name and where she comes from, sniffs Windsong to check if she is hostile and check her intentions, and checking if Windsong is just a tourist or someone that has future plans on staying longer in Rayashki -> to eventually joining Rayashki.

When Windsong clarifies that she isn't like the other researchers and that regardless of the prospects she will still research, this confirms even further in Vila's head that Windsong might stay. Then right after when Windsong states about her surprise that she is accepted here and her insecurity regarding her ley lines research, Vila says:

I think even Vila sees how similar Avgust and Windsong with each other except Windsong was unable to get the support that she should have gotten from her environment. Other than that, she was drawn to her because Windsong has a good heart deep down despite their awkward first encounter.

Next, we cut to the kids' conversations with each other. Just like Evgeni, Pyotr also gets annoyed or bothered by Avgust and his quirks.

But carefully look at this, Avgust considers both Windsong and himself as "most" meaning best.

Except it leads to Pyotr thinking that Windsong is also a freak.

Of course the interaction leads to the kids asking Windsong a multitude of questions, shocking Windsong and telling them not to study it because people thinks its useless. Of course, Vila doesn't back down and asks Windsong if SHE thinks its useless too. Once Windsong reveals that ley lines is her passion project and shows how determined she is basically,

Vila is convinced and is like "yep, I want this one" then proceeds to hit on Windsong with a trifecta of physical touch, encouragement, and a winning smile:

[bunnakit]

last twilight e2 thoughts feelings etc

As always, I'm just some dude on the internet. I could be way off base with some of this but I just think it's fun to think about. Night asking Mhok to make him a cup of coffee was very interesting. Mhok is not there as a general staff, cook, etc. He's there to help Day and only Day and Night is fully capable of making himself a cup of coffee. Curious if this is a hint at Night helping himself to things intended for Day, coveting things Day has, etc. It definitely didn't feel like a throw away action.

I appreciate Porjai very, very gently reprimanding Mhok for being nosy in cleaning up Day's room. It was a bit of a misstep for Mhok and he needed to know that. It's important to let us disabled people ask for help when we need it and not assume we always need help. While the state of Day's room was very likely a concern for safety reasons and general health he should have been asked at the very least if it should or could be cleaned. It's not unlike grabbing the handles of someone's wheelchair and pushing them when they didn't ask to - You don't know what Day has a system for, you don't know what paths he's memorized, or even what obstacles he may have set up for himself intentionally to guide himself to different parts of the room. While it seems difficult for Day to ask for help it is something he's going to have to get accustomed to and he will with time, jumping in and making changes without his consent robs him of more of his already so very scarce agency he's been allowed.

Aon telling Day he needs to be patient and learn to talk to sighted people is huge. I made a post last week about my favorite thing being Day's anger and this is absolutely true, however, it can be so very easy to wallow in your grief and anger if you let yourself. It's important for Day to be angry, it's important for him to be impatient, but it's also important for him to push past those things and grow. Day needs to reevaluate his interpersonal interactions, he needs to relearn how to socialize especially without social queues from body language (something we often process subconsciously and take for granted.) All Day has now to go off of is voice inflection and his own critical thinking skills. He's going to have to be patient with people, he's going to have to adjust, and he's going to have to give Mhok a genuine chance. It's easy to isolate yourself when you're disabled, far too easy, and it's so much harder and scarier to try.

In the same vein as my first comment, the fumbled eye drops scene is so important, I loved it so much. It's Day realizing his limitations, coming to terms with them, and accepting that he needs help - he can't do everything on his own and that's okay, there are people there to help him if he just asks. And Mhok just does it. He doesn't make him feel silly or stupid or feeble, he just looks for the eye drops and hands them over. It's not A Thing, it's not anything more than just helping someone. It's easy, and it should be.

The Boob Grab sure is something. I did not know Jimmy was built like that. I'll talk more about this later.

"Living alone in a small fish tank is lonely, right?"

Oh fuck me UP. Living alone in this tiny bedroom is lonely, isn't it Day?

"Goldfish have a short memory. It can't be lonely."

Perhaps the goldfish's memory is so short because no one has ever taken the time to stick around. No one was worth remembering. And maybe the goldfish wishes he remembered some things less.

The fish is dying, suffocating in it's own filth and loneliness, suffocating from a lack of consideration and care. But suddenly the goldfish goes outside, it breathes fresh air, smells the blooming jasmine, and suddenly it doesn't feel like it's suffocating anymore. Things are a little clearer - not literally but it no longer feels like it's swimming through a miasma. (The goldfish is Day, btw.)

FUCK. ME. UP. I'm eating all of this like the delicious anniversary dinner I had tonight.

So lunch. I noticed this at the beginning of the episode but it's really driven home here. Zero accommodations have been made for Day in the span of a fucking year. There's been no safety measures made, no pathways made more accessible, and even more frustrating they've reorganized the fucking kitchen. It's like they sealed Day in a tomb and are just waiting for him to die so they can move on with business as usual. I would ask 'how is Day supposed to do anything for himself' but it's very clear no one thought of that. They all thought of him as this shambling shell of a man that couldn't possibly do basic tasks like find the soy sauce for himself, they didn't consider him even as an afterthought when rearranging everything. It shows Day's fall from grace within his own family in such a brutal way and it makes me so angry with his family.

The scene with Night and his friends is a lot. Day's anxiety is so palpable and the comments made make me wonder if Day's condition has been kept under wraps as some sort of shameful secret. I would be interested to see if there was an NDA in Mhok's contract.

And then we get Mhok's anxiety and raw fear. Mhok's worst nightmares came to fruition and he knows what hopelessness, frustration, and despair can do to a person. He knows it only takes the smallest thing to push someone into the unthinkable and he can't allow that to happen again. He failed to see it last time, failed to answer a call for help. He won't ever miss that call again.

Here's where we're going to come back to the boob grab and here's where I could be WAY FUCKING OFF BASE. I know we all love it, Jimmy boobie stress ball teehee, but there's also a moment of shock on Day's face when it happens. He's alarmed and taken aback and rightfully so because what the fuck this man is half naked in his room??? Then we come to this point where Mhok has just burst into his room while Day is naked and vulnerable and he knows Mhok has seen him. His reaction might seem harsh or impulsive but here's the tragic thing - A painful, horrible amount of caretakers in the world take advantage of their charges monetarily, sexually, or otherwise. (It's something I've personally seen happen to friends and family.)It's not the rule, but it happens enough to be notable.

It would not be difficult for Day to be taken advantage of and this is only his.. third? fourth? day with Mhok who is still very much a stranger to him. Mhok was completely justified in his reaction (and realistically should have a key for Day's room for emergencies only because God forbid Day fall in the bath or something) but Day's reaction is every bit justified as well. But I don't blame Day for his reaction because he very likely was afraid and his emotions were already so heightened from the mess with his brother, and I applaud Mhok for just leaving and leaving it at that. They both needed to calm down and Mhok leaves. He respects Day's decision, his agency, etc. He walks away from a job that could change his life.

Once again The Little Prince narrates the lives of these two perfectly. No notes, perfect, beautiful, muah.

The fucking slippers. Finally, someone has taken the time to understand. It was a simple solution to a large part of Day's frustration and pain. It has given him some of his agency back, taken away some of his fear. These stupid ugly goldfish slippers have given him so much and perhaps Mhok understands far more than Day gave him credit for because finally someone is listening to him, listening without him having to beg.

And Day going to see Mhok? That's huge. He could've asked Porjai to bring Mhok or ask him to come by but no; like The Prince he approaches the untamed fox.

And Mhok's desperation to understand. Fucking hell. He's gone above and beyond just being a caretaker and the way he says 'the way people look at us.' Because it's an us now, he wants to stand right by Day's side and shoulder this journey with him, to hold his hand and tell Day 'I'm here with you, you aren't alone.' I'm gonna chew my fucking upholstery.

This is only solidified with the addition of Big Mhok. Little Day isn't alone anymore and Big Mhok might be scary and intimidating but not for Little Day, never for Little Day. And then Day uses some of his precious ten fleeting seconds to see Mhok, to put a face to this insane, caring, brusque, ridiculous man that would live his days blindfolded just to understand someone else's perspective. Because Mhok is worth seeing.

Anyway they make me fucking insane, your honor. I don't know if I'll do this for every episode (if people like it enough, sure) but this one in particular had me feeling a lot of things.

[vivaciouscynner]

Contingency Plan

I am hopeful that we will miraculously be smart enough to not allow a fascist to be elected president again.

I am hopeful that people will realize everything will be worse under Republican rule - read up on project 2025 to give you a clearer idea what that looks like. Listen to the awful rally at MSG last weekend.

I am hopeful the arrogance of the privileged that are aiming to "protest" by not voting will change their mind as they will be the reason for more blood to be shed. Not just in Palestine, but also right here. School shootings will increase. Deaths among women, be it by abuse or being forced to carry to term. Deaths among minorities.

I am hopeful, however.

But if this election turns to shit, you're going to need to understand how to stay safe - as safe as you are able.

There are many things you need to change regarding your online and offline life.

Online:

If you feel you are a target of republican policies, you'll want to purge or just simply stop posting data about yourself regarding your online presence.

selfies

pictures of your home inside or out

pictures of trips you've been on and posted online

any reference to your real name

any reference to your real home address or general area

jobs (where you work or what you do)

Privacy is REALLY important to me.

update your DNS settings, preferably on the router you use, but you can also do it on your PC, to use cloudflare dns 1.1.1.1 and 1.0.0.1 Updating the DNS to cloudflare will prevent your ISP seeing some traffic and will actually improve website response times too)

please use a VPN like NordVPN or something. There's a lot of them out there. Using a VPN will not only encrypt data, it will also hide your ip.

Use a more secure browser - Tor Browser is good for that given it goes through the onion network - but it can make websites harder to use because of how strict it is. You can use LibreWolf as an alternative which comes with pretty secure settings "right out of the box".

Use offline Password Managers (don't use or let your browser remember them). I use KeePass

Get off any app that tracks anything. This includes but not limited to period trackers, fitness trackers, anything that tracks your location and uploads it to the app developers. An app that says "We don't track your data" today does NOT mean that they won't update and start tracking you tomorrow. Be VERY wary of all app privacy policies. You will need to literally read them now. If they share your data, don't use it. Because these companies sell your data to not only advertisers but also law enforcement.

[Please take some time to search and understand the above by yourself, otherwise this will be a gargantuan post if I have to explain it all.]

Offline

You're going to have to accept that convenience is no longer possible or feasible. Everyone's situation is different and I can only recommend looking to the people you trust the most for help in any which way you can. Even crossing state boarders is dangerous for some people.

Breathe. Think it through. Ask for help.

Please also provide resources if you have any to this post so we can send it around.

[bearsinpotatosacks]

Fic idea where Richie fully tries to reconnect with life

First chapter is Richie being invited to go dress shopping with Frank and Tiff as she's their flower girl. He gets along with them and thinks he could be friends

Second chapter is him reaching out to his parents, who he cut off contact with since he left home. He tells them what they missed, how they were partially right by their suspicion of the Berzattos because Richie feels like he keeps getting drawn in only to be pushed out when things get tough, he feels like their caretaker and the one putting them back together. It's rocky but it's a start. His dad apologises for the hard, neglectful way he treated him, and that he missed having him in his life a lot more than he cared about the rules he put in place. He shows them the Bear and his mother apologises then.

Third chapter is Richie applying for jobs. He's realised how this is another sinking ship and he can't go down with another Berzatto. I think it would be interesting if Carmy started to improve, he talks with Sydney and she ends up staying but Richie ends up leaving. He's spent most of his career in the same place and he's grown more than that. I think it would be a nice end to his character arc to have him leave the Bear, and in some ways the Berzatto family or at least him putting boundaries in place, while Sydney gets accepted in and let's herself be accepted.

This could also have him having some interviews that don't go well. Him being rejected, perhaps mirror Tina's episode with him putting so much time in at the Beef that's now the Bear but not being good enough for the same role elsewhere as he's not educated and doesn't have enough experience.

Fifth chapter is him getting a job. I can see him working somewhere not Michelin star as he doesn't care for them, but somewhere that cares about the food and the people. I can also see him working in a hotel, or, controversially (?) leaving the hospitality industry as a whole and taking his passion for people and working somewhere else.

Can anyone else see Richie as a good nurse or is it just me? Him seeing the same faces, having a rapour with them, making them smile and helping them, I can see him flirting with elderly ladies to make them smile (yes I'm thinking of him being a palliative care/geriatric nurse

He hands in his notice at the Bear and when asked why he goes into how it's heartless. He's trying so hard to improve himself but how can he when there's so much tension and he's not respected, he's earning the same wage as he did at the Beef but is working so much harder and longer and is still relying on tips even though people pay $175 a head. He also tells them, trying to be respectful, how they've all collectively failed at making the Beef better by wrapping their dysfunctions in a different jacket, so to speak. Syd wanted things to be better, for people not to feel and act shitty but now it's even worse because there's no fun. They've got more debt and everyone's unhappy and he can't put another Berzatto back together, he can't go down with another sinking ship and he respects himself more than that.

Sixth chapter could be a time skip. Think 2 years later, Richie’s finished his associates degree in nursing and is starting as a nurse for a carer company. He goes out to celebrate, someone books the Bear, he's heard that things are better, not Michelin star but not shitty quality like the Beef, somewhere in the middle.

It's strange for everyone else, seeing Richie as the customer. He kept in touch, but life's busy, he became more like a true cousin, one you see more at family functions than day in day out. He’s on good terms with his parents, good friends with Tiff and Frank, Eva’s growing up, turning 8 now. They stay close to closing, he leaves a big tip but waves through the window before going.

[mysteryshoptls]

Magic 3 Voice Lines

As part of the 3rd Anniversary new features, there is a new Magic 3 given to each character, available on each SSR card that has been Limit Broken 3 times. These are the possible voice lines they say when they attack with their Magic 3.

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle

Do you think yourself a threat?

Are you ready?

You've managed to anger me!

I'll hand down my sentence.

Ace

You underestimated me, didn'tcha?

Here on out it's my one-man show!

It's my shutout win, no cheating needed!

Too bad, but it's game over.

Deuce

Don't chicken out on me, punk!

I see you lookin' down on me.

Ain't no way I can be lame and run away here!

Let's let our fists do the talking!

Cater

Guess I gotta show off just how cool I am ♪

Just don't go too overboard.

Oh, sweet!

Gotta be careful not to get hurt!

Trey

That's why I told you already.

Think I went easy enough?

Let's paint all the roses red.

Don't make this harder on me.

SAVANACLAW

Leona

You wanna be hunted down?

I've had enough.

I'll do what I want, how I want.

You shouldn't turn your back on me.

Jack

My fangs are sharp.

I won't let you escape!

Feel my power!

Remember my name!

Ruggie

I'ma flip ya!

I'ma turn you into a sandwich.

I'ma pick ya up and throw you away.

Shishishi, this finishes it.

OCTAVINELLE

Azul

Put simply, dialogue is futile here.

Say your goodbyes.

I'll accept your payment now.

Come now, what will you do?

Jade

And after I so kindly gave you guidance.

No need to be frightened. Fufu.

You need to be taught a lesson.

Dissolve into seafoam and disappear!

Floyd

C'mon, how's this? Ahahah!

Don't be scaaared.

Cry and beg for help! Ahahah!

I'ma squeeze you to the bone!

SCARABIA

Kalim

I'll make you dance for me!

Now I'm serious!

It's a party, now dance!

Party's over!

Jamil

Disappear to the ends of the earth!

This is the difference in our abilities!

Don't ever get up again.

I'll take everything from you.

POMEFIORE

Vil

This is the end.

Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Come, show me!

This is my power!

Epel

Let everything freeze over.

If you underestimate me, you'll regret it.

Don't judge me by the way I look.

Sleep for eternity!

Rook

This is my bow and arrow of love.

I beg you, let me hear your thoughts.

I hope to see you fall to the ground gracefully.

Adieu, Monsieur!

IGNIHYDE

Idia

It's only halftime.

I just want to be left alone...!

Let's go into sudden death!

It's time for the main event.

Ortho

Eliminating target.

Destroying obstacle.

Magical cannon at maximum output!

Energy cannon, firing all rounds!

DIASOMNIA

Malleus

Behold the power of a king!

Bow before me!

You truly thought you could win?

You fool!

Silver

I will not make you to suffer.

I will put you to sleep.

There is something I wish to protect.

Sleep deeply.

Sebek

I'll drag you in.

Do you think you've cornered me?

I am faster than light!

I am stronger than lightning!

Lilia

You're goofing around too much, kiddo.

I'll have to scold you.

Time for me to put you to sleep.

I won't overlook a single snag!

OTHERS

Grim

You ain’t nothing special!

Bow down before me!

I'ma gonna can ya and eatcha!

Leave everything to me!

Crowley

You'll be held back at this rate!

This is my Lash of Love!

Tough love is also a kindness!

This is real magic!

Crewel

You don’t even know how to sit and stay.

Watch and enjoy the show.

It’s time for your punishment.

What terrible taste.

Rollo

Even if I have to burn down the whole city!

There is nothing to fear, now is there?

This is so you no longer need suffer.

Don’t struggle so uselessly.

Fellow

Ah, see, just as I expected.

If this goes well...

From now on, everything'll be alright!

An easy mark.

Requested by @dida-books.

[marveloustimestwo]

Hi cutie pie (: How you think Anakin would react if Obi-Wan falls for the reader platonically?

Hello :) Thank you for the request!

Warnings: Yandere themes

It would be difficult for Anakin to ever really share his darling with anyone, even if the other person is only platonically obsessed.

The closer he falls to the dark side and the more obsessed he becomes with you, the harder it becomes for him to let anyone near you if he thinks they're a threat.

He's extremely paranoid about his darling's safety and has a mean jealousy streak, which only worsens over time.

However, it can be possible for him to share, but only if it's Obi-Wan or Padme.

With Obi-Wan, I think if it starts early for both of them, it will be easier for them to share. The two of them are practically brothers. The trust they have for each other is immense.

While I think that it would take Obi-Wan longer to grow obsessed, if it catches him in at the right time, it gives him a good chance at working well with Anakin.

I see Obi-Wan as being mainly a protective yandere. Sometimes manipulative, but he excuses both of these by saying he was just looking out for you.

If you're still a padawan when he grows obsessed, he definitely tries to take on a mentor role with you, which Anakin will immediately notice.

But as I said, if Obi-Wan started to do this earlier, like when Anakin is still his padawan, I think that Anakin would find it easier to accept it.

Especially with the way Obi-Wan goes about "protecting" you.

His way of protecting you takes a few different forms. One of the bigger ones is how he takes to scaring off all of your friends, and once again, he excuses it by saying he's looking out for you.

"You seemed a bit too close to that boy. I was afraid you were growing attached. Don't worry, I won't tell your Master."

In reality, Obi-Wan didn't like how your friend was being a bit too rough with you during training.

It's to the point where Anakin is your only friend. Mainly because Anakin's not about to get bullied away from you, but it also could easily be Obi-Wan's favoritism and trust in his padawan too.

It works out well for both of them. For Obi-Wan, it doesn't really matter that you have a Master that's not him. He's still going to act like he is, which also leads you to spend more time with him and Anakin.

Another reason Anakin has an easier time accepting. After all, his spending this much time with you could have been seen as him growing attached otherwise, but now he can easily excuse it by saying he was just training under his Master, and Obi-Wan said it was good for both of you to have a training partner your age.

However, as Anakin falls closer to the dark side, he's more prone to paranoia and jealousy, especially with Palpatine whispering in his ear.

If Obi-Wan tries to come in later, Anakin finds it to be much more difficult to let that happen. Even if he grew obsessed early, the longer things go on, the more Anakin's trust in Obi-Wan deteriorates.

As Anakin turns to the dark side, the fight for you becomes vicious. Both of them believe that they are in your best interest.

I could definitely see Obi-Wan sensing Anakin's change toward you and him early on. Anakin's never been one for subtlety, so Obi-Wan can see how jealous he gets of others, and how paranoid Anakin is becoming over your safety.

As Anakin starts to grow jealous and paranoid of Obi-Wan as well, your safety is immediately prioritized in Obi-Wan's mind, which means that you're suddenly up and kidnapped to some faraway planet as Anakin becomes Darth Vadar.

It's a very complicated fight between these two. It's rarely an actual physical fight. The fact that Obi-Wan opted to keep you hidden away means that Anakin has to actually track the both of you down.

He has plenty of resources to do so, as well as the drive for it as well. Despite that, Obi-Wan isn't easy to track down. Your safety is his top priority, so since he sees Anakin as a clear threat to that, he's putting his all into making sure he can't find you.

When it comes to you, neither of them is willing to let this matter go. While it all started out good, these two will turn into bitter enemies at the end of the day. I don't really see it turning out any other way.

[borathae]

https://www.tumblr.com/anikore/718515947758026752

Honestly, this has been plaguing my mind for days. I’ve recently fallen back in love with your writing again, particularly kookie and Yoongi.

This scenario has just been running wild. Imagine if, either (or both) have decided with their girl (I’m thinking ceo au and witch au) that they’re going to dedicate a full day to kink. Specifically a (consensual of course) free use day?

I’m obsessed with groping by the way so imagine for the entirety of the day, neither are fucked, only pseudo-banged. So, they’re being bent over a counter and thrusted into over and over and their balls are being played with as well. Or, their domme(/ partner) has them grind against a counter (that’s a far fetched idea but 🥵) and just working them up. Until eventually, in the evening she just puts them into the best really sensual sun space and shows them truly how much she loves them.

Honestly, this was just a thot dump, really, but I hope you enjoy 😭

CONSENSUAL FREE USE DAY OMFMGM *barks* 😩😩 this is so these couples coded 🥴🥴 and why do I feel like either would have such a different approach to it

Sanguis Yoongi x OC

he'd be cool about it

because he knows the goal of that day is to rile him up, he'd want to pretend that he isn’t into it

the first time she comes up to him with the intent to hump, he'd be all like

"okay this is happening. Fine. This isn’t gonna work, princess."

then by the tenth time she bends him over something, he'd be all like laughing fondly

"Again? I’m telling you this isn’t working."

while his fingers are secretly twisting the pillows of the sofa she bent him over and his ass is secretly chasing her movements

but the thing is? the more often she pulls away again the cuddlier he gets

like he'd begin wanting to randomly hug her or just give her hand a little squeeze or play with her hair

and he'd get unnaturally chatty

and she'd know that it IS working

because he is so obviously trying to pretend not to be affected with all the talking he is doing

I can also see them never getting naked during the day and her doing all the groping over his clothes

also lots of kisses because Yoongi goes crazy for them

one time she slipped her hands in hid pants and Yoongi let out a small breathy moan accidentally

she stopped with a smirk and left with a "see?"

while he is all 🥴 trying to regulate himself in the small corner she pushed him in

so by the time it’s night, Yoongi practically rips off his clothes so he can finally feel her fingers on his skin

and he will finally beg and whine and squirm just for her

Aaol Kook x OC:

he'd be an openly needy boy from the beginning

he'd moan with the first touch

and those moans will only grow in volume the longer the day drags out

he'd also writhe and squirm with the first touch

and become squirmier the older the day gets

he will also very proudly accept that he is getting hard each time she humps him

and that those boners become harder (pun intented) and harder to get rid of afterwards

by the end of the day, Kook will run around wtih a constant semi so sensitive that the sensation of taking off his pants is already enough to turn it into a leaking hard on

I can also see them being a lot more kinkier

I feel like next to excessive humping, there'd also be some examination play involved where she makes him take off a certain parts of clothing so she could "check up on how he is doing"

you know for example he takes off his shirt because she is "worried that his nipples are rubbing against his shirt too much and she needs to make sure he's okay"

or he has to take off his pants and bend over so she could make sure that she isn’t "rubbing too much against his hole and therefore hurt it"

just very obvious bullshit excuses so she can play with his sensitive spots without ever going further than feeling them up

and like one time, the play is cleaning out for later and then her taking a shower with him so she can "make sure his dick is also clean enough"

while Kookie is basically sobbing cause he's so needy for her as she gives him a soapy handjob "to get him clean"

okay bestie I gotta stop because this is going to escalate into me becoming feral

Consensual free use is so hot to me omfg 😩

[vyunok-obyknovenniy]

A little analysis of this part in the Odyssey:

Reading time: ~10 minutes

Book 23, The Great Rooted Bed, Fagles' tr-n There he sat, leaning against the great central column, eyes fixed on the ground, waiting, poised for whatever words his hardy wife might say when she caught sight of him. A long while she sat in silence … numbing wonder filled her heart as her eyes explored his face. One moment he seemed … Odysseus, to the life— the next, no, he was not the man she knew, a huddled mass of rags was all she saw.

“Oh mother,” Telemachus reproached her, “cruel mother, you with your hard heart! Why do you spurn my father so—why don’t you sit beside him, engage him, ask him questions? What other wife could have a spirit so unbending? Holding back from her husband, home at last for her after bearing twenty years of brutal struggle— your heart was always harder than a rock!” “My child,” Penelope, well-aware, explained, “I’m stunned with wonder, powerless. Cannot speak to him, ask him questions, look him in the eyes … But if he is truly Odysseus, home at last, make no mistake: we two will know each other, even better— we two have secret signs, known to us both but hidden from the world.”

Odysseus, long-enduring, broke into a smile and turned to his son with pointed, winging words: “Leave your mother here in the hall to test me as she will. She soon will know me better. Now because I am filthy, wear such grimy rags, she spurns me—your mother still can’t bring herself to believe I am her husband.<...>

Telemachus is a precious baby, we've established that.

But he does act a bit like a brat with Penelope a couple times. Of course I don't think that any of that is malicious or that he doesn't love her, but he's still being a bit of a brat.

They both suffered, their pain was similar, but also very different, their experiences and the way they processed it were different as well.

Moreover, at this moment Telemachus has already spent some time with Odysseus. They already had their meeting/reunion and they already cried it out (to an extent. I'm sure there's more crying they'll do afterwards). They even had a father-son bonding activity (a.k.a. the slaughter of the suitors). Telemachus got to know his father at least a little bit over the past couple of days and at this point he processed and accepted the idea of Odysseus being back.

Penelope, on the other hand, was told about it just a moment ago. She can't immediately go "oh, you're saying Odysseus is back? Wonderful, let me greet him", no. Odysseus wasn't away on a short hunting trip or something, he was away for two whole decades, half of that time he was pretty much thought to be dead by most people (the first half wasn't that much better, as he could've still died any time during the war, but at least he wasn't lost, Penelope knew where he was).

Now she needs time to wrap her head around what is happening. We even see her thoughts as she goes to meet Odysseus:

Penelope started down from her lofty room, her heart in turmoil, torn … should she keep her distance, probe her husband? Or rush up to the man at once and kiss his head and cling to both his hands?

She wants to reunite with him, she wants this to be true, but she can't be sure of anything now. They have been apar for longer than they knew each other. Does he still love her like he used to? Is he the man she loved? Is it even the real Odysseus in the first place? She needs to process everything, as well as confirm all the information herself, and Telemachus, at least at this moment, doesn't comprehend that. He's acting quite immature, scolding his mother for not immediately believing and accepting that Odysseus is back.

This is a very interesting detail. First it once again shows us that Telemachus still lacks a lot of maturity, despite having been on his coming of age trip. He's still very young.

Yes, he definitely grew a lot in that short time, but it would've been impossible for him to learn everything at once, he still has a lot of that immaturity left in him, there's still a lot of room to grow and that's completely understandable. We, as people, grow for our whole lives and Tele is doing remarkably well, especially considering his circumstances.

Another interesting thing about this part is that it shows Telemachus', perhaps a bit childish, impatience. He is a kid, who finally met his dad (and his biggest hero), he knows that his mother was suffering and grieving for pretty much his whole life (with things getting a lot worse over the past decade). From Telemachus' perspective Odysseus' return is supposed to solve all their problems, especially since their biggest problem, a.k.a. the suitors, was just taken care of and it wouldn't have happened without Odysseus.

Telemachus just wants a happy family. His dad is back and seems to love him, the suitors are gone, now his parents should reunite, his mother will stop grieving and everything will be perfect. This is something he dreamt of his whole life and it's finally so close, but his mother doesn't immediately believe him. She doesn't immediately accept Odysseus and Telemachus doesn't understand why. He is too preoccupied with wanting things finally to be okay, that he doesn't take time to think about what Penelope must be feeling. It doesn't even occur to him. Perhaps it's also partially the need to be believed and listened to, which is also something he lacked growing up around suitors and being treated as a child, but I'm not diving into that right now.

Odysseus, on the other hand, understands what's going on. He assures his son, that everything will be okay. He pretty much does a more adult version of "mom and dad will take care of this, you go play for a bit". Odysseus understands Penelope's reaction and goes from there. Of course he wants to be in her embrace as soon as possible, but considering everything she has been through, he definitely can't just suddenly grab her and do what he wants. This is his dearly beloved wife and he wants her to take on that role voluntarily, like she did before, he wants her to accept him as her dear husband, like she did before, and for that he has to let her do it at her own pace. He tries to meet her where she's at, to do this reunion on her terms, to assure her, that he is, who he says he is and who others tell her he is.

This is just so amazing and I love their relationship so much (T▿T)♡

I also love Penelope's reaction to Telemachus' words. She doesn't react negatively, she is remarkably calm and part of it is probably the shock from what's happening, but still, she is "well-aware". I think that she knows Telemachus really well, because even though he has surprised her with how much he matured, he's still the same boy, he's still her kid. She most likely understands where Telemachus' outburst is coming from and doesn't get angry, doesn't scold him for his impatience, she reassures him. She lets him know, that he doesn't need to be scared of things falling apart and that she isn't looking to reject Odysseus. She's looking for Odysseus and she hopes she can find him in that familiar and strange man before her. She just needs time, but she will be taking the effort to search for what she's looking for, now that she has a way (she wouldn't have been able to go searching for Odysseus at sea, but now he's, supposedly, right here and she will handle it like the queen that she is).

[bringerofplagues]

Daddy Issues Of The Kraken: An Analysis of Theon and Asha Greyjoy

 Daddy issues a recurring theme in ASOIAF. The most famous examples are probably Jon Snow with his tendency to bond with many male authority figures and Tyrion Lannister with the entirety of his relationship with Tywin. However i think one of the most interesting executions of this theme are Theon and Asha Greyjoy. Specifically i belive that Theon and Ashas relationship to their dad Balon Greyjoy and their respective surrogate father figures acts as a microcosm of their entire characterization, especially in regards to their relationship with Ironborn culture.

I will start by examining Theon as i believe his daddy issues are more obvious than Ashas. Theon has obviously been greatly impacted by growing up with the Starks. While he never seems to think of Eddard Stark as a father he does consider Robb Stark a brother. The tension between his love for his stark family and his desire to be accepted by his Ironborn family is the central element to Theons character. It gets illustrated very well in a short passage in ADWD where Theon is in the crypts of Winterfell. Theon sees a statue of Theon Stark, a king winter known as the hungry wolves who acclaimed fame by fighting the Andals and kicking the Ironborn out of Bear Island. When seeing the statue Theon thinks to himself that Theon Stark is his namesake.This is interesting as him being named after a Stark king and not a Greyjoy symbolically ties him to the Starks, especially considering that Theon Stark was an enemy to the Ironborn. One must also remember that the Ironborn claim to be a completely different race than the peoples of mainland Westeros and take great pride in this difference. As such Theon being named after a main lander also differentiates him from Ironborn culture. There is also the option that Theon is wrong in this belief and that he is actually named after some other historical figure named Theon. If this is the case it shows us that Theon thinks of himself as more of a Stark than a Greyjoy, at least after all of the rejections and torture he had gone through during the series. Earlier in the series when Theon goes to the Iron Islands to meet with his father it is clear from the start that he no longer fits into the culture nor his own family. His father rejects him based on his clothing and he is constantly met with mistrust as people are concerned with the time he spent on the mainland. Whats worse for Theon is the fact that most people seem to expect Asha to follow Balon and not Theon. Asha also ends up tricking and humiliating him, thus showing that she is above him in Ironborn society. This is where his surrogate father Dagmer Cleftjaw becomes interesting. Dagmer is in many ways an archetypical Ironborn, he enjoys reaving, songs about reaving, drinking, and has his characteristic cleft jaw. Dagmer thus acts as a symbol of Ironborn culture to Theon, and unlike his father Dagmer is willing to accept Theon.I believe this is why Theon cares so deeply about Dagmer as he is the only Ironbron who truly accepts him and cares about him, at least from Theons point of view. With this i will now move on to discussing Asha.

Ashas problems with her family and the Ironborn are a lot harder to notice. This is partly due to us first meeting her through Theons POV. As such our first perception of Asha is colored by how Theon sees her. Specifically Theon sees Asha getting much of the acceptance that he desires for himself. Theon is very jealous of Asha and this impacts how we see her. It is only once we starts Ashas POV that this perception of her starts getting torn down. For one Asha is not as happy with her father as Theons chapters would leave you to believe, as she mentions that the she considers Ten Towers her true home, not Pyke. We don’t know why this is, but we see that Asha rejects Balon, despite being his preferred heir. If we contiue with the theory that Balon represents traditional ironborn culture / the old way this would symbolise Asha rejecting those ideals. And we do see this in Ashas POV chapters at the Kingsmoot, she even at one point claims that the old way is dead due to Aegons unification of the seven kingdoms. Asha instead proposes a much more pragmatic world view in which the ironborn should focus on achieving whatever gains they can most realistically achieve. Specifally she proposes that the Ironborn should exit the war and consolidate their gains along the stony shore. If we now look at Ashas father figure Rodrik Harlaw we see that he is a highly atypical member of ironborn culture who also seems very pragmatic. We know he used to hire septons to tend to his books despite not being a follower of the faith of the seven. Meanwhile many people on the Iron Islands outright hate the faith and would never hire a septon. Other than Rodrik, those who are okay with septons are usually worshipers of the faith. We also see his pragmatic nature after the kingsmoot when he gives Asha a way to reverse the kingsmoot and escape her arranged/forced marriage, since Theon would be able to overturn the kingsmoot. The kingsmoot is also interesting as Ashas status as Balons preffered heir is suddenly ignored due to her gender. This shows us that while ironborn culture is willing to accept Asha and give her power when the alternative is an outsider, as a woman she will still always be seen as lesser than the men from her culture. This may be part of the reason why she rejects the Old way, and again it is interesting as Rodrik never rejects her based on her gender, seemingly not caring about it at all. It is worth to note that Asha doesn’t fully agree with Rodrik as she enjoys the idea of going out and seeking glory while seeing Rodrik as a craven since he would rather stay in his tower and read

To summarize, Theons character is centered around the conflict of his love towards, at the very least, Robb Stark and his desire to be accepted by an Ironbron family who constantly rejects him, this is what leads him to making the many bad decisions he does throughout the series. The latter part of this conflict is reflected in his relationship to his two father figures. Balon rejects Theon while Dagmer gives him the acceptance he craves. Meanwhile Asha seems to be accepted by Ironborn society, at least when compared to Theon who is seen as an outsider. However she rejects her father in favour of the more pragmatic Rodrik Harlaw. In the same vein she rejects the old way in favour of a more pragmatic new way of thinking. We also see that Asha is seen as lesser than her uncles due to her gender by many ironborn but not by Rodrik. As thus their relationships with their respective father figures acts as a microcosm of their relationships with ironborn culture.

[eowynstwin]

stargazer and cool dice! also if you’re inclined to answer and if it isn’t too invasive/personal, I relate a little to well to reader in your fic and it’s insinuated that finishing can feel better like hello???(!) it’s not supposed to feel like that or is that not actually finishing??? what do I need to research to get on the next level - not even asking for a friend, I’m asking for myself (again feel free to just delete this - I don’t want to be disrespectful or cross any boundaries. I’d been praying one day you’d turn anon back on so I can ask)

Hmm, that's a tough one, because I feel like I can't give you any advice that you haven't heard--you just need to experiment more and try different things.

I know, I KNOW, that's such a vague answer lol. So here's some more concrete advice, on the assumption that you have a vagina and all its accessories (EXPLICIT SEX ED UNDER THE CUT FOLKS):

Find a dildo or other penetrative instrument with a clitoral attachment, make sure they both vibrate, and use it in different positions for longer than you would normally go. Try on your back, your stomach, your side, or even sitting up. What you're looking for is twofold: a too-much feeling on your clit, like, when you feel it positioned just right you'll want to JUMP out of your skin, and a tightening feeling around the penetrating part of the toy.

You're probably used to that really fast, intense wave that happens somewhere near the start--I don't honestly know if that's a climax or not, but I do know there's way more beyond it. You've just got to stick it out and dedicate some time to this, and don't be shy about moving the toy around. Try different angles on your clit, try different depths with the dildo (if you get one that's wide in the middle but tapers at the end you might have some great success with that). There's a sweet spot--you just have to find it.

You'll know you're there when it feels like you're about to shoot the damn thing out of your pussy by pressure alone. You might stop breathing (I do), because asphyxiation just helps to prolong it for some reason. I'm no expert lol I just know it helps.

Oh, and it's important to note, orgasm is way harder to achieve, I think, when you don't start out physically aroused. Yeah, you might feel it mentally, but when you feel it in your body it will feel like you're tightening up around nothing, like you're honestly a little bit sore. So spend some time on some sexy fanfiction, erotica, audio porn, or even real porn (although I tend not to find real porn arousing, because I'm usually uncomfortable witnessing other people being intimate--ymmv).

Overall don't be too hard on yourself and try to enjoy the experience. Accept also that it might not happen, and there's nothing wrong with you if it doesn't. It's really hard, when life is the way it is right now, when maybe you've been raised to believe that pleasure is a terrible thing for you to pursue, when you've been taught that your sexual experience is destined to be disappointing. Be patient and be the lover to yourself that you wish you had.

I just realized you asked for research advice and I just straight up told you directly what to do. I'm not sure where to send you for any other advice, because I truly never found any that helped. I figured this stuff out by experimenting, and that's really the best advice I can give you too. Try this out, and spend some quality time with yourself and learn about your own body. Hope that helps!

EDIT: @captainjamster reminded me of the book Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski and I CANNOT recommend it enough. If you’re AFAB it is a great place to start. Nagoski goes into minute detail explaining the architecture of the vulva and the myriad issues that need addressing in order to achieve female pleasure.

[chikuto]

Hello I saw your post about your breakthrough with ADHD and art and!!! Yeah!!! Similar hat!!!

Something I think that goes into it as well is the idea that ADHD people are undisciplined, like 'oh they're so smart in class but just don't apply themselves' but it's because (at least in my experience) our 'applying ourselves' looks different than what the typical (capitalist) school system demands! I work in short bursts of like 10-30 minutes and break doing nothing and do this for Hours, and this extends to working on a project for days and then not doing anything for weeks before picking it up again. The rhythm is chaos and there is no predicting it but to me it's important not to force myself into doing something I don't want to because it literally will not work and will ONLY make me miserable!!

I tried to be a semi-freelance artist in my gap year and early uni years, and had schedules for myself for how much to draw and practice and especially post down to the week and guess what happened? Literally nothing, I didn't follow that schedule at all, I procrastinated and didn't do much and felt incredibly guilty for not being productive or a proper artist, and ended up burning out within a couple years and did basically no art last year, I've only got back into it this year because I've let myself do it because I Want to and not force myself to, it's no longer a Priority task in the sense of 'this has to be done' and now more a priority in the sense of 'i do this because it makes me happy'.

It was interesting reading your post because yes! I resonate! And feel like I've been in that position and have now come to find ways that I can still draw that work for me and mean I enjoy it and don't fight my brain because doing that for my entire childhood (when you're told you're inherently just lazy and need to work harder than oh boy do you run yourself into the ground) made me absolutely miserable and unable to do anything. Part of my getting back into art was accepting the chaotic and strange way I worked and just letting that flow and not fighting it, as Frustrating as it could get sometimes and as unhelpful it was to a 'traditional' model of work that industry demands.

Idk if this is helpful but you mentioned being unsure how to go from where you are after this revelation and I guess all i want to say is: figure out your workflow and Do Not Fight It. ADHD brain is distracting, yes, but it is also the most stubborn bitch ever and fighting it will just make you unhappy and tired. Figure out how you work best in a way that keeps you content and happy and work with it.

Of course there can be discipline aspects there too; I do find pushing myself to get up and pick up the sketchbook when I am feeling lazy is good, there's definitely elements where you can push yourself just to do a little bit more or work a little bit harder - but only to the point it still works for you. Once it gets hard, stop fighting and let yourself flow naturally.

Ajdhjsja idk if this makes sense I've just done a lot of thinking about this over the years and hoped it might be a bit helpful

I feel you man. Schedules are foreign things to me, and trying to make one for myself is both physically and mentally painful. When I was doing my webcomic, holding myself accountable day in and day out to pump out page after page after page made me so ill. Even when I tried to take it slower and make it easy on myself, I would just get laden with guilt. I had to put it down for my own health and figure out what was wrong with me.

I have received the "Don't Fight It" advice from other ADHD friends before, and i'm STILL FIGURING OUT HOW TO APPLY IT TO MYSELF ... like i said, there are always gonna be external factors that impede your ability to do what you love, even without ADHD (living situation, general mental/physical health, etc).

I definitely wanted to post this ask though, because I hope other people can also benefit from this advice. It's definitely helpful, and after reading everyone's responses to that post, I think it's something I should start being more mindful of too. Thank you for sharing your experience!

[outofangband]

daegred-winsterhand asked:

for the headcanon game, 🖤🐣 for Aerin or Morwen

From this headcanon ask game here! Still accepting them!

I went a bit lighter for the dark headcanons because I recently posted a really intense piece about Aerin (to ao3 not here) and it took a lot out of me…I still had some dark ones but I’ll compile a few more really dark ones later

I did most of these for Aerin, im going to make a separate post for Morwen, but I did include a couple for her tooo

Happy HCs (all my happy HCs for Aerin inevitably make me sad because most of them involve things she loses either completely or mostly, post Nírnaeth)

-Aerin learned to swim in the deeper pools of Nen Lalaith. She loves the water and is a strong swimmer. She also loved to watch the minnows and other tiny fish dart through the stream. When she was little she would take longer and longer walks trying to reach the source of the stream. When she got older and was able to ride longer distances she eventually got there, taking a three day trip with Húrin and another one of their cousins. It’s one of her happiest memories

-Aerin is one or two centimeters taller than Húrin and was absolutely delighted when this happened, when she was fourteen and him a couple years older. I headcanon that Indor was one of Galdor’s liege lords and one of his most trusted kinsmen and their children grew up close.)

-When Húrin was home him and Morwen would often spend evenings in the day room of their house. They would read or work on individual projects or they would play a chess like game. Sometimes they would have long debates. These peaceful evenings she almost felt completely at home.

Dark HCs (post Nírnaeth Aerin related warnings)

-Every time Aerin is punished for helping Morwen or some other transgression it makes the next time harder. She still does but it takes so much out of her to the point where leaving the house becomes panic inducing.

-Aerin is so grateful she never has children. She could not bear to bring someone else into this. And it brings her a grim satisfaction that Brodda will have no heir, no legacy, something the Narn specifically says he wanted and which was part of his reasons for what he did (I actually have a separate post about this, if you’re interested, that goes into my thoughts about this and why and the significance and the different possibilities)

-No matter how much Aerin may hate and fear Brodda, she has to know him on such a personal level; she has to learn his habits and moods and preferences because she has to, the alternative is dangerous. This is definitely something I want to work more with but the effect it has on her is profound. Just thinking about the level of very unwanted casual familiarity and closeness(?) unsure of wording here

(Will post more dark HCs for Morwen later but)

-It gets to Morwen, knowing that some people want to violently hurt her because in their minds that would make them powerful because they’ve decided you’re a scary witch and that if they tried, there’s very little she can do to defend herself or Niënor. Even when she’s in Doriath, that fear never fully leaves her

-Morwen will never admit this but she has had a fear of fire since the Bragollach. Lighting candles is usually fine, lighting a contained fire in the hearth gets easier over time. But when she can feel smoke in her lungs and feel the heat of the flames? It can be panic inducing. Of course as this is Morwen her panic tends to show as her being sharper and more brusque with others or isolating.

Rían on the other hand has a morbid fascination with fire.

On a semi related note I headcanon that several Hadorian festivals include bonfires including the celebration for the new year as I think I’ve talked about. Morwen is displeased by this.

[deathandnonexistentialdread]

Ryosuke Kira and the Stages of Grief

So where were we?

ah yes, Kira lost.

The 5 stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These feelings are not linear and might intersect with each other. So let's accompany Kira through these non-linear stages of grief.

Denial (ft. Isagi)

Look how as soon as the buzzer rings, he questions Isagi about what happened even tho he knows what happened himself. He doesn't want to admit that he lost. He is in denial about what happened, subconsciously at least.

2. Anger (ft. a disgruntled Igaguri and a shocked Isagi)

He is outright angry over here questioning Ego on why his future is being destroyed when he has so much potential [on that note, someone seems pretty entitled over here.] He is pointing out how Isagi and Igaguri are less talented than he is, seeing that they are the lowest ranked here. I would like to point out that he is also showing his anger at the fact that those two have passed the test despite their mediocrity by shifting the blame for his loss onto the two of them. This is pretty out of character for the Kira that we know and Isagi feels the same way. This is anger, and it is just going downhill from here.

3. Bargaining (ft. an annoyed Ego)

Now let's see what the definition of bargaining is. "In the social sciences, bargaining or haggling is a type of negotiation in which the buyer and seller of a good or service debate the price or nature of a transaction." (source: Wikipedia).

If Kira's loss is the output of the game of football death tag, then in this case football death tag is the transaction. And Kira is now debating the nature of the transaction (football death tag) with Ego.

Since on the surface, the game of tag has nothing to do with football, Kira latches on to that. And Ego is here to tear each and every one of his arguments down.

Ego points out that the size of the room is the same size as the penalty area on a football field (which is 16.5x40.32 meters or 54x132 feet). Those who are running away from the ball must have awareness of their surroundings. The person who is 'it' must have the ability to aim and shoot at the same time, and precise dribbling skills, making this excellent football practice.

But Kira is not taking this lying down.

He tries to reason with Ego (which is futile) by saying that the total time should have been longer. Ego breaks that argument with cold, hard facts, cutting off all his arguments. This is bargaining.

4. Depresssion

Depression is characterized by persistent sadness which is present in undertones throughout all of Kira's actions thus far. but I think that this scene captures the despair and numbness of depression pretty well.

Now we are going to retrace our steps backward as Kira goes through..

3. Bargaining pt.2 (ft. Bachira)

2. Anger pt.2 (ft. shocked Isagi)

and..

1. Denial pt.2

In the end, he leaves the facility and can never represent Japan internationally.

But at least he will get his phone back.....so it's not all bad?

You might ask, where is acceptance, the 5th stage in all of this? One could say that Kira leaving is him accepting the fact that he lost but I think that it happened at the very beginning: when he lost the game.

Grief is not just a singular emotion. It is the combination of different emotions that intersect with each other in different ways. Humans have this characteristic of simplifying everything, putting everything into neatly labeled boxes, where there is a method to feel things, and ticking complex emotions down into a grocery list where there is a checklist to be followed. So what I am trying to say is that there are a lot of things in this world that cannot be divided neatly and concisely. Emotions like gender, sexuality, and colours are on a spectrum, which makes defining what one feels a lot harder, especially when it comes to complex emotions.

Also bye-bye Kira. It was nice knowing you.