#i think a lot of movies these days suffer from really slow starts and then they drag
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Sevika, and reader on her period headcanon...
Sevika is in her late 30s and probably doesn't suffer with her period-or do-, but dating a younger woman, at the peak of hormones and period, makes her think about her time and asks herself how she handles you and all your versions during it.
She knows your period is coming by just seeing your breasts swelling, some complaints about your back hurting, and mood changing during the day as you always do but never remember it's that time of the month.
She always has a lot of pads, your favorite food stockpiled, medicine for your various pains, always ready to massage your back, legs and belly, brings you a lot of water and a hot water bottle for cramps.
"Doll, it's normal to have a period. Don't be angry or disgusting for it. I know you don't like having pains, and all that stuff period brings on, but it's normal. And you have me by your side."
Your mood swings are a challenge for her, but she handles somehow. Just like the day you two were walking around Zaun, enjoying a street food you begged her to buy and then she notices you're not by her side, looking back to see you stuck in the place, your eyes on the ground, on your food on the ground. She immediately ran back to you, soothing you as your eyes filled with tears and mumbled that you haven't even bitten. "That's alright, doll. Have mine and everything is fine."
Or the day she made a joke at the wrong time and wrong place, making everyone at the table in Last Drop alternate gaze between you two just to look away when you lashed out on her and left the place without her. Or the day a woman looked at her for too long, and you had to show that woman that your woman was your woman. Or tried to throw punches at every man whistling at you- Ran had to stop you and Sevika at this one.
She thought your period cravings were something else. Why so much sugar?!? It's was possible worse than pregnancy cravings. "Are you on your period, or are you pregnant?
"I'm craving something sweet, like really sweet." You said, searching for something in the cabinets. "Have some sugar." You looked at her with fire on your eyes, and she felt a cold sweat run down her back. "What about some chocolate cake, ice cream, or some food deep-rooted with sugar? I'll buy it, doll."
She can't keep up with your energy, always accepting whatever you want and following behind you everywhere with a scowl, but making sure you're good, safe, and happy. She doesn't understand how you have so much energy left after doing a lot of things during the day to her about your day and plans, just to fall asleep suddenly.
She also handled you crying over everything and making traps for her, like asking her if she'd love you if you were a worm, or her worst nightmare: "Would you love me if I was from topside?" and her long silence was answer enough for you to start weeping. "Doll, it's just a dumb thought. Of course I'd love you and gonna be with you forever. I promise!"
She prefers to handle you when you are calmer, too sore to handle the world on your back, and stays in bed, being doted by her. She always cuddles you, her human hand on your belly to warm it up, whispering sweet nothings or watching a movie with you, both wrapped in the blankets. "I love you too, doll."
Maybe the best thing about your period is the much horniness you have during it. Your wild side is always showing up at this time of the month; always teasing her with dirty whispers, handsy. She loves fucking you, making love to you, making you cum and all. But, damn, you've come three times already, and you're looking at her with those eyes again, and she isn't young anymore, she needs to catch her breath. "Please, Vika. Just one more. You can use your fingers on me this time. Pleaseee."
She loves it when you are horny and take the lead, playing with yourself, teasing her until she does something about it and makes slow, tender, sweaty love to you. "Fuck, doll. Your pussy is so wet and creamy for me, gotta fuck it properly, huh. Do you want this? Want my cock deep inside your pussy? Good girl, doll..."
Your crazy ideas always caught her by surprise. She is sure that these ideas are made up before your period, and you only come with them to blame on the "period hehehe"
"You know what? I really want-" "Please, a normal thing for once." "You to impregnate me." A silence in the room. "Impossible, doll." "What do you mean it's important? DON'T YOU LOVE ME ANYMORE?!?" "It's biological Impossible to get you pregnant with my babies." "Well. We gotta keep trying, vika!"
Your low self-esteem is the biggest problem, like how she's gonna put inside your head that you are the most beautiful person in Zaun? The prettiest woman she's ever laid eyes on! "Your body is completely fine! Your skin is normal! You're not fat, square, or I don't know! Your clothes are completely fitting, you're fucking beautiful and perfect. The only woman for me, doll!"
At the end of your period, she would be exhausted, needing vacations away from Zaun, but glad to have you surviving another period without trying to kill her and every other Zaun citizen. She would be so glad to have her girl back, not that you're much different but still.
@iwashie 2025, please do not translate, modify or republish my works
#iwashie work#iwashie writes#sevika x you#sevika x y/n#sevika x reader#sevika arcane#sevika headcanon#arcane x reader#iwashie headcanons
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watched the most recent ghostbusters movie (frozen empire?)
It was alright. I preferred afterlife, but still really enjoyed this one. lots of character development and good humour
#i think a lot of movies these days suffer from really slow starts and then they drag#and then the ending feels very rushed ... or the third act/conclusion feels like it goes really fast#just my 2 cents tho#ramblings#i think it's crazy that the same ppl are producing it tho#and 3 out of 4 of the original ghostbusters are still alive. and the fact that theyre well enough to keep doing it#it kinda amazes me#like those first two movies were from the 80s. absolutely insane
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Every movie makes it look so easy to snap someone's neck by twisting their head really fast and hard, and it's used all the time, but it can't possibly be that easy or effective can it? It's not like every Joe Schmoe on the street can start going around snapping necks can they? They also love to have people snap necks between their thighs, I imagine that's even harder and less likely to work.
So, breaking someone's neck with your bare hands basicallyisn't a thing. Actually breaking your neck doesn't take a lot of force, but the whole neck snap thing takes an absolutely comical amount of force to work, and even if it did, it wouldn't necessarily be lethal. The idea is that it severs the spinal column or the brain stem, but in practice, all you'd be able to do is abuse some dense muscles and ligatures.
This is a real risk in auto accidents, particularly if the victim isn't properly belted, but the version you see in films is pure fiction.
Choking someone out is a lot more viable. This can either come from asphyxiation, or from obstructing blood flow to the brain. The former is slow, and is likely to cause the victim to panic while they slowly lose consciousness. The latter (sometimes called a blood choke, or triangle choke) can quickly lead to death, as you starve the brain of oxygen by cutting it off after it's been absorbed by the body. You do sometimes see these in film, though the amount of time needed to subdue someone is hilariously abbreviated. If you're just choking someone, that will take minutes before they'll lose consciousness, and they're going to seriously start to freak out once they realize they can't breath. Blood chokes, as mentioned earlier, are faster, but you're still looking at a long time in a fight.
Neck snapping with the thighs is about as plausible as the neck twist. Choking someone out with the thighs is slightly more credible. Legs can be used in submission holds while grappling. But, if we're being honest, I think we all know that this isn't used because it's realistic, it's the sex appeal. Without speaking from personal experience, I suspect thigh chokes are harder to get out of, simply because your legs are significantly stronger than your arms, but I'm speculating.
Also, importantly, suffering a broken neck isn't (usually) going to be immediately lethal. As mentioned earlier, unless the spinal chord is severed or the brain stem is damaged, they'll survive. This may result in a life altering injury, but it's not going to be an, “oh, they're instantly, and quietly, dead.”
I remember running across a news report, when we last covered this, where a couple of teens had decided to kill someone by snapping their neck. The victim ended up with some soreness in their neck, and the teens went away for attempted murder. Moral of the story, this doesn't work.
-Starke
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#writing reference#writing advice#writing tips#how to fight write#starke answers#starke is not a real doctor
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Hey hey! I'd like to request König headcanons please. I was thinking more of his childhood but it can be anything really :D thanks x
Also I'm an Avatar fan too! Don't seem to know a lot of people who are into both #teamneteyam
Hey!! I looooove Avatar so much, I haven't been reading it much lately but 2 months ago I was on tumblr all day, everyday just reading various Avatar fics (best days of my life). I miss neteyam so much :(( I really hope this is to your liking<3 i have included some NSFW headcannons, but there will be a warning, if you are uncomfortable, just skip. Reposts are highly appreciated. I will literally marry you. And of course, here I present...
★ navigation ★ masterlist ★
König Headcanons
Includes: Childhood König. König x fem!reader. Fluff. Spice. Smut.
☆ As said in his biography, he has suffered from severe social anxiety throughout his life. This probably started developing in maybe late childhood/early teens.
☆ I can picture him as the quiet kid in school. Had a couple chill friends that he was comfortable around and hung out with after school.
☆ I think König was average grade student (like me lmao), not bad grades but not super good either, he just did what he had to do at school.
☆ He liked helping around the house so he could contribute and help his parents save time.
☆ He applied to the military at 17, having a job that allows him to blow off steam would help with his anxiety sometimes but if it's a more dangerous mission than usual, his anxiety might peak but he could have coping mechanisms.
☆ Even though he is 6'10" and literally all muscle, he can't stay still. Due to his anxiety again, he is fidgety at times depending on the social situation he is in. Now this leads onto the relationship stuff.
☆ With him being fidgety, I feel his love language is physical touch. He can sometimes struggle with his words but you always know that he loves you when he cuddles you or does little things like playing with your hair or holding your hand whenever you are in public.
☆ König isn't the best at working with technology but you'll show him how he can text you and phone you, so whenever he has free time at base or whenever he isn't with you, expect him spamming you with texts because he misses you so much :((
☆ He has a gym at home for when he wants to work out but with him having such a physical job he doesn't feel the need to workout everyday, maybe 3 or 4 times a week when he's home with you but at base he'll do it more as its like the only thing to do there.
☆ He enjoys going on walks. When he's home with you he'll love going on a walk in the woods or just wondering around town with you, go shopping to get food for supper or something, he'll sneakily buy flowers to surprise you. At base, he sometimes can't sleep well so he'll just walk around for some fresh air to clear his mind.
☆ His down time with you would be watching your favourite show or a random movie. He would do it just to cuddle up or be with you but he will get invested. Like I watched the notebook last night and I was thinking about König crying as you watch the notebook together.
☆ Like you'll be watching the movie and a sad scene comes up, you are already crying and you hear a sniffle but it isn't from you. You turn to your left and see a tear rolling down Königs cheek. This will make you cry harder as you wipe away his tears and cuddle into his neck.
☆ With König having a high payed job, he has a lot of money that he doesn't know how to spend. Lucky him, he has you. You would tell him its no bother, that you have enough clothes and pretty jewellery to last you a lifetime but he drags you to the car to your favourite store and you can't help but give in.
☆ He would get a former guard dog and train it to only command you and him, this dog would stay at home with you all the time. You would take it out walks and just spend your whole day with it. He wants to make sure you are safe all of the time.
NSFW AHEAD!!
☆ He likes to take it slow, make ethereal love to you and treat you like your made of glass. You would let a few tears roll down your cheek from his sweetness.
☆ Pussy eater!!! He is like a god with his tongue. Worships your clit like its his favourite thing while his fingers work in and out of you. It doesn't matter if you are crying from overstimulation, you have a safe word. His only mission is making you cum.
☆ Loves face sitting, literally just loves your pussy on his face and your thighs pushing against the side of his head. You would tell him that you are too heavy, he huffs frustrated and pulls you down on him and instantly gets to work. Let's just say, you forgot about what you said 3 seconds ago.
☆ Breeding kink. Sorry, not sorry. In all his fantasies about you, it's you all pretty n pregnant with his baby. You will have that pregnant woman glow and he just can't keep his hands off of you. He doesn't really wear condoms but you'll usually be on the pill, he still struggles to pull out but it's nearly impossible for him. But when he does cum in you, he finds it the sexiest thing ever. He'll use his fingers to plunge his load back into you to feed his growing hunger.
☆ He loves when you top him and take your time with him, but he also enjoys being in charge and having his sole focus on you, even if you just came for the fourth time from his tongue and his cock is rock hard.
☆ The ratio between him giving you head and you giving him head is very diverse. He loves a good blowie but only does it when you want to, he will never ask you.
☆ Isn't one for quickies, he wants to take his time with you. He wouldn't like the risk of someone else seeing you being intimate with him, that is a sight only for him to see.
☆ Isn't afraid to make noise in the bedroom. Whimpering. Moaning. Whining. Groaning. He does it all.
I hoped you liked this!! If you have any more requests don't be shy. Stay safe and take care of yourself my lovies xx
#konig mw2#konig cod#konig x reader#konig call of duty#konig modern warfare#konig headcanons#konig#call of duty x reader#call of duty modern warfare#call of duty mw2#call of duty#konig fluff#konig smut#konigsluvr
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Unreal Unearth is an album that means a lot to me. It’s one of if not the greatest albums I’ve ever heard. Each song impacts me in a different way, so I wanted to go through each song with my own experience and interpretations (disclaimer, some of these analyses are my personal interpretation or how I react to the song, art is subjective and is what you make it)
De Selby (Part 1): oh my god I’ve been dying to hear Hozier sing in Gaeilge. I actually sang a song in Gaeilge in choir a few years back, and while it was difficult for me pronunciation wise, it was super fun to sing and is a beautiful and underrated language in my opinion. I also adore how haunting it is. It sounds like the soundtrack to my crisis (and it has been). I struggle to explain it, but the melody is so tormenting, especially with the layered voices in the second half of the Gaeilge verse. They feel very ghost like. It’s such an incredible way to introduce us into the decent into hell.
Transition: Yes I’m giving this special section because it’s one of the greatest song transitions I’ve ever heard. It’s really difficult to transition from a slow song into an upbeat one, but this one did it in a way that allows my brain to adjust to the difference in tempo. First of all, it lowers in pitch until it matches the key of part 2, musically representing our slow decent into hell. Then it starts with this beat that goes into part 2, and to me, this represents a building of insanity, one that is further explored in part 2.
De Selby (part 2): This is one of my favorite songs on the entire album. First of all, the beat is so addictive and the song generally makes me want to shake my ass. But beyond that, this song encompasses insanity in a way that I haven’t seen before but is also so relatable. Even with the music video, like there are times where I have felt exactly like the guy in the video and I just want to run into the abyss and forget everything and hit myself with a shovel. Hozier has such a talent for making relatability so artistic and unreal (forgive the pun).
First Time: This song is so full of complex lyricism that I couldn’t even begin to dive into. It’s super vibey, which I appreciate. A few notable lyrics I’d like to point out is “But you spoke some quick new music that went so far to soothe this soul as it was and ever shall be, unearth without a name.” I don’t know if anyone’s talked about this, but this lyric was so similar to the “glory be” prayer (I grew up Catholic lol) that goes “glory be to the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, as it was and ever shall be, a world without end.” I don’t know if that was intentional/ the direct inspiration but I def did a double take when I heard that lyric. If it is intentional, I love how he twists it from a praise god I’ll get into Heaven sort of plea into describing the limbo we are trapped in, unearth without a name. The other lyric is “These days I think I owe my life to flowers that were left here by my mother, Ain't that like them, giftin' life to you again” I just think that’s such a sweet line that appreciates the kindness in humanity, especially so many mothers including my own. I would like to give a shoutout to Hozier’s mom for birthing and raising him, I would love to shake hands with her.
Francesca: This is maybe one of the best songs Hozier has ever put out. It has been on repeat since the second he dropped it. First of all, the sheer concept of this song, to love someone so full and so deeply that you would endure every ounce of pain and suffering that is inflicted on you because of this love, that is so powerful and just has such an element of storytelling that is as thrilling as watching a movie. To endure such hardship for the sake of a simple touch makes me want to cry. We all want something like that, to be protected and to be worth the sacrifice of another. And the lyrics encompass that perfectly, especially “Heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I.” Now, being religiously traumatized myself, Heaven is a concept that I’ve gotten to know well. Eternal bliss and joy in the comfort of Jesus. It has hung over my head and has been used to keep me in the religion, especially as a comfort when it comes to the concept of death. But to say that even this place of eternal bliss and love and joy isn’t fit for the kind of love we possess just absolutely guts me. It is just beyond incredible.
I, Carrion (Icarian): As if Francesca wasn’t devastating enough, Hozier had to follow it up with this one. I absolutely love the use of Icarus imagery in songs, I love Icarus by Bastille (it especially reminds me of Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens). I know he used Icarus imagery in previous songs, and this is no hate to Sunlight, but I was def looking for something gentler that further explored the different perspectives of the story. And you know what, Hozier delivered. To paint the fall as something beautiful or as not even perceiving it as a tragedy is such a fresh take that I love the exploration of. “If I should fall on that day I only pray don’t fall away from me,” that hit me like a bag of bricks when I first heard it. Like, he’s plummeting from the sky, and still says “allow the ground to find its brutal way to me.” No matter what the ground holds for me, as long as I’m falling with you, everything will be alright. It becomes this state of delusion that is both heartwarming and devastating.
Eat Your Young: This song is what I have affectionately and repeatedly referred to as the “sexiest political commentary I’ve ever heard.” The melody and beat are so seductive, which just contributes to the appeal of the message, despite it being a pretty horrifying one. But it is from the perspective of the villain, which is an interesting point to write from. To say that it’s easier to cut out the middle man and eat your children rather than do atrocious things for power and money that will kill them anyways is such a relevant take on not only politics and capitalism but just the greedy side of humanity in general. The song is almost a trick, like it makes the greed sound so appealing and acts as a siren song to push the narrator’s unreliable narrative.
Damage Gets Done: I love Hozier songs that dive into the feeling of being young. Songs like Sedated and even Jackie and Wilson are reminiscent of that. We often think we’re indestructible when we’re young and we think we can do anything. We become reckless, but that recklessness isn’t what kills us. It’s the people in power who damage us with the laws they pass and systems they create. It sounds so happy like childhood, and yet it reminisces on what it was like to not be forced to participate in these systems such as capitalism. It felt good to just be free and not be tied down by the world. The melody of this song sounds nostalgic and hype like the energy of a young person. Also shoutout Brandi Charlie, I adore her voice on this track and in general.
Who We Are: We have to get through things one way or another, but “getting through still has a cost.” God, this line hits because even when the “damage gets done,” we still have to hurt in order to heal. And it hurts the most when you didn’t realize what you lost until it’s gone. The other lyric that hits is “someone with your eyes might come in time to hold me like water or christ hold me like a knife” hold me even though I’ll slip through your fingers, or if you can’t do that, wield me as something that can cause damage. And there’s nothing else we can do about it. Why? Because that’s who we are. Also, Hozier’s vocals on this song are absolutely insane, those high notes are so angelic. I don’t think I knew his range went that high but I was super impressed.
Son of Nyx: It seems like I say every song is my favorite (because they’re all so freaking good), but this one has got to be my favorite on the album. Despite the lack of words, this song stuck out to me the most. I want to kiss the composer of this piece. First of all, I’m an absolute slut for orchestral/ cinematic songs. And this song is unlike any of his other songs. It carries this haunting melody that is almost angelic in a way but the minor key pulls you back down into this journey of hell that we’ve been going on. It incorporates the melodies from other songs on the album beautifully. I’ve only been able to pick out the melodies from who we are and abstract, so let me know if there’s any others I missed. But the moment where the orchestra swells makes me actually ascend into the next dimension. I swear I had an out of body experience when I heard it for the first time. It’s so terrifying in a beautiful way and words can’t properly convey how this song makes me feel. It doesn’t need to have words for me to understand it, and pieces like that are especially impactful to me.
All Things End: Wow what a way to follow that. It definitely gives a bit of whiplash. First of all, I love the music video for this because the cut from Heaven Hozier singing with his little surgeon church choir to him dead on a table makes me giggle every time, it’s so abrupt. Anyways, it’s interesting that this song goes under the circle of Heresy, because the connection isn’t immediately obvious. But, to me, it does make a lot of sense. To say all things end, including Heaven and hell, inherently denies the belief in Christian ideals. Which, to me, is empowering in a way. This song is simultaneously hopeless and hopeful at the same time. It says that joy will end eventually, but so will the pain. It’s a comfort and an anxiety all wrapped up into one song.
To Someone From a Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe): I’m gonna be honest, this one was harder for me to figure out. It’s incredibly simple in a way that is so effective. To me, this song sounds like being unable to provide for someone what they need. And that’s one of the most devistating feelings, one that the simple sad sound of the song encompasses very well. I know what it feels like to be unable to give what someone needs. It makes you feel so stuck and so useless, a feeling which I despise. And Hozier, as he always does, broke my heart with this one. But he was only gearing me up for what would come later with Unknown.
Butchered Tongue: One thing this song reminds me of is how much history we’ve lost. I think about this a lot, the texts we could’ve had, the wisdom we could’ve shared with one another, all lost to the greed of other human beings. I think of the Indigenous cultures that were viciously stripped away in the name of god, the languages lost, the abuse endured. I think of the stories of LGBTQ+ people that remain untold because it didn’t fit the ideal image of those in power. I think of the untold thoughts and lives brutally taken to early. We build incredibly complex and beautiful cultures but we still put in the hours to tear them down. It’s a really upsetting reality, to know that loss happens all around us and there’s nothing we can do to stop it. But we are also encouraged to be kind, so if you take anything from this post, from this song, please show kindness to all, especially those whose stories remain untold.
Anything But: This one is just so groovy I always gotta do a little dance when I hear it. What’s interesting is this song is framed like a love song. But to me, this sounds like running from something or someone. Like “I don’t wanna be anything but I would do anything just to run away” like yeah same. I just want to run away from everything and move into a cottage in the woods or something. It really captures that feeling of just wanting to get tf out of here.
Abstract (Psychopomp): Circling back to the religious trauma thing, I’ve always had a fear of death. Or rather, what comes after death. With the threat of hell always hanging above my head, I was scared to step out of that narrative they always trapped me in with. I don’t wanna suffer for eternity after my short existence. So I’ve always struggled with the idea of dying. But this song frames the journey to the afterlife as something beautiful, which is so comforting, I can barely put it into words. The idea that a spirit guide could be escorting you to the afterlife and they tell you to look back at Earth and “see how it shines” makes me feel a relief unlike any other. I know this song is based on an experience Hozier had where he watched an animal get hit by a car and watched someone comfort the animal in its last moment. But the way this song treats the concept of death is just so moving. It captures the fear and the pain but also the beauty of having someone to share those last moments with and having someone guide you beyond. The imagery in this song is such pure storytelling I feel like I am recounting the memory as if it’s my own.
Unknown / Nth: Not only is this song the most devastating one on the album, it’s maybe the most devastating song I’ve ever heard. I went through a breakup a while back and every single lyric described every single thing I was feeling about that lost relationship. It captured me and my pain so well I’m convinced Hozier crawled into my brain and wrote this. He described feelings I couldn’t even fit into words. The teaser that Hozier posted for this song on tik tok actually came out right in that stage where I could feel they were drifting away from me. This was a long distance relationship, so first the “you know the difference never made a difference to me” hit hard. Not only that, I always called them my angel, so “I thought you were like an angel to me” was just double the emotional damage. Then, we get to the bridge. This bridge is the absolute most gut wrenchingly genius string of words ever written. “Do you know I could break be with the weight of the goodness love I still carry for you? That Id walk so far just to take the injury of finally knowing you” Holy. Shit. I’m someone who, when I love someone, I love them with every ounce of myself. I would bend the Earth if they asked me to, I would give them my life and soul to sell to Satan. For a long time after that breakup, I still loved them and that love just fueled my grief. I knew this person like the back of my hand, I knew every inflection in their voice, every joke they hadn’t yet made, every feature of their face. And they knew me, fully and deeply in a way few people do. They listened, and they made me feel heard. And all of the sudden, it was all gone. And I did break beneath that weight, because I still loved and knew them, but didn’t get to know anymore. I didn’t get to know what they were doing now, how they were doing, I didn’t get to call them every single night anymore. But despite all of the pain, I would gladly do it over and over again. I can’t bring myself to regret any of it. “And there are some people love who are better unknown.” All I’ve ever wanted was to be understood. I struggle to make friends, and sometimes when I do, I’m only relevant when I’m beneficial. I’ve only ever wanted to be known by those around me. And they knew me. But when they left, I felt like I was unknown again. And I too resigned myself to that idea that maybe I am better unknown.
Transition: The transition between Unknown / Nth and First Light is much more subtle than the one between the De Selbys. But it’s there and it’s worth mentioning. When Unknown / Nth ends, we are left with this sinking and hopeless feeling that we will forever be stuck in that ice, flapping our wings. That hopelessness is drawn out in this ghost of a lingering note that pulls through the end of the song. Then the very first note of First Light is the same as the last note of Unknown / Nth.
First Light: The beginning of this song sounds exactly like rays of light spilling through the cracks. It sounds like the relief of light hitting your eyes after being trapped in a place of darkness for a long time. As the song goes on, it starts to sound more like an ascension. The vocals become very angelic and the whole song grows into this powerhouse of force that just gives off such a hope and determination that we haven’t felt for this whole album. To me, it’s very interesting that Hozier decides to end this album on such a hopeful note despite how devastating every other song was. I was convinced he was going to end the album on Unknown, and he very well could’ve done that. He could’ve left us in the deepest circle of hell. But he chose to end on this super optimistic note of finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think it just gives us a look into his own optimism and his belief that our resilience as humans has and will pay off. We are constantly faced with adversity and won’t stop until we take our last breaths. But our desire to keep fighting is what makes us such a uniquely incredible species. And the payoff afterwards is a satisfaction that nothing else can quite compare to.
Hozier has such a way of turning the human experience into something otherworldly. He never ceases to amaze me with how his mind creates. I hope I get to tell him one day how much his art means to me and how deeply it’s affected me.
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I know we shouldn't compare them because it's not fair but when I think about how much criticism rwrb received as a film and how it was never enough for the audience but the first reviews of the idea of you call it "film of the decade" (I really doubt it, please people watch more movies) or say that people were screaming in the theater during the sex scenes... As a queer person it makes me suffer that the projects made for us are never good enough for the public but for straight films literally is enough the bare minimum to make them scream masterpiece. Again, this isn't a comparison or hate for tioy but it makes me sad.
Honestly, I'm in the exact same place as you are. I was thinking about it a lot this morning.
I don't know how fair my judgement is because I am inherently biased towards RWRB but I also feel upset about how much TIOY is getting compared to RWRB. Granted TIOY has the advantage of star power, with Nick being more well-known after RWRB and M&G and Anne freaking Hatheway, and to a certain degree One Direction/ Harry Styles, but just from the premise... It's doesn't sound as groundbreaking or new as what RWRB or even M&G did. I can expect it to be a fun romantic movie, but I can't see it being something as... fresh and impactful/ meaningful to an audience as RWRB and M&G are.
I don't know how much right I have to say this as someone who currently identifies as cis-straight, but the double standards between queer media like RWRB and heterosexual media like TIOY is very frustrating, It's like there's so many more steps for queer media to climb to "catch up" with a straight media of a similar genre/premise. Even with the ratings, RWRB did not deserve R at all. But I do think we're gradually making steps towards improving this phenomenon. Slow steps, but steps nonetheless. So please don't loose hope.
As for "film of the decade"... I'm sorry but that's gotta be an exaggeration. Stuff like Barbie, Oppenheimer, Avenger Endgame, Spider-Verse being called "film of the decade", I can understand, but this is not it. Hell, as much as it's straight up part of my soul now, I don't think RWRB fits "film of the decade". If we're taking that title seriously, then that's gotta be something really creative and new, something that hits hard. So yeah, you're right. People need to watch more movies, or have better media literacy.
I don't think there's been a single day since the movie was released that I didn't agonize and grieve over what we could have had. RWRB had so many disadvantages: As upsetting as it is, queer media, especially rom-com is still inherently seen as something lesser, which is fucked up, but unfortunately it's where we're at right now. On top of that, the timing of the strike directly coincides with the promo period of RWRB. The strike was for a good cause and achieved great things for actors, it was necessary, but that doesn't stop the lost of what we could have from hurting. So compared to other movies and projects (and not even necessarily just the boys' projects, recent streaming media in general) RWRB had so many disadvantages. If this was a race, then our starting line was pulled back a couple of miles.
But on the bright side, you gotta think: even with nearly zero promo, even with so many disadvantages and setbacks, RWRB still managed to achieve a lot: Most streamed movie on the platform globally for (I think?) three weeks, top most-streamed three romcoms on the platform all time, PGA and Glaad award nomination (and hopefully more to come down the line) and look at us! We're still going strong, and a sequel is in talks. There's never a fair comparison when it comes to things like this, but I said we're pretty amazing, and that's something that can't be taken away.
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9 people you'd like to know better
tagged by: @funshinebf woah!! hey!! hi!! :3
a) three ships:
DELLUMBRA. my beloveds forever and ever and ever. an animator put della and penumbra holding hands in the chibi valentines day thing and its the only thing that matters for the rest of time. seeing them never fails to make me the happy smiler
spova... HRHGHGHHGHGHHHHH (STARTS CLAWING AT THE WALLS) im getting a bunch of my irls to watch the show with me and like how do i explain why sparx catching nova in circus of ooze makes me actually start howling in pain. the slow burn... the trust... the botched confessions the loss the self blame. oh god its all just so fucking painful forever ill never be over them
tomshiv :) theyre the perfect eternal punishment for each other and i love seeing them make each other suffer. the dirty talk scene in season 3 permanently altered my brain chemistry and tom wambsgans mr brightside is the greatest video of our generation
a1: bonus ships:
SERIREI :) save me serirei... serirei save me... such a classic i love those crazy businessmen. 2018 serirei was literally the perfect era like you had to be there
joongdok. thousand yard stare. ive been coming around to yoohankim lately too but i feel like a lot of content doesnt really capture what i like about orv so i dont look at or like a lot of the shippy content in the first place
gibotto
also gibson/sparx
b) first ever ship:
...... :( it was grey/juvia from fairy tail. yandere x tsundere was like elite to me. if i close my eyes and pretend im in a universe where fairy tail is good i can honestly see the vision. the first one that made me really crazy crazy about shipping though was germany and italy from hetalia unfortunately. sorry. and sometimes i fear i may never escape the annoyingly optimistic x grump who secretly likes it trope and its all their fucking fault
c) last song:
hello, i love you by adore delano. SHE JUST GETS ME
d) last movie:
uuhhhh fuck i watch a lot of movies absolutely baked with my friends so its hard to remember. i think everything everywhere all at once :) i sincerely believe it is one of the best movies ever made. STEPHANIE HSU WAS ROBBED AT THE OSCARS
e) currently reading:
cirice by madeline miller, i havent picked it up in months tho... and i keep telling myself im going to start one piece and dungeon meshi but i havent yet #laziness
f) currently watching:
sooo many things but im currently keeping up with season 16 of drag race with my friend. besides that primarily trigun stampede and hannibal because im watching those with my friends. and i count srmthfg again. but also dungeon meshi is on the backburner too. and a million other things like the boys and interview with the vampire... GOD THERES TOO MANY SHOWS GUYS
g) currently consuming:
idk waht this means. if its about eating then i have a big tub of cocktail peanuts that im munching on right now
h) currently craving:
DAVES HOT CHICKEN. SAVE ME DAVES HOT CHICKEN
9 people to tag:
um uh um uhhh @godza @morguerue @irradiatedsnakes @faglagomorph @treecakes @itaots @soulreaper @puppetlooselystrung @vampirewings and also anyone else who wants to talk about themselves yay!!! i hope its okay i tagged you heart emoji <3
easily copyable version under the cut for joy and prosperity yay
9 people you'd like to know better
tagged by:
a) three ships:
a1: bonus ships:
b) first ever ship:
c) last song:
d) last movie:
e) currently reading:
f) currently watching:
g) currently consuming:
h) currently craving:
9 people to tag:
#he is typing#tag games#tagged in#HI. HELLO MUTUALS. IM NOT NERVOUS TAGGING PEOPLE AT ALL AND I BEHAVE NORMALLY
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Angsty Roy/Jaime prompt: Roy suffers a head injury that leads to temporary amnesia, so he forgets that he and Jaime are married now. Roy only remembers Jaime when he was the S1 prick. He's appalled when he finds out that he's actually romantic with the prick and it takes everyone to stop him from going to the courts for a divorce ASAP. Jaime is utterly devastated, but refuses to let himself break. He has this unwavering belief that Roy will remember them. He takes all care of Roy, who gives him nothing but disdain but also feels really guilty that Jaime is so devoted to him, feeling frustrated for not knowing how he came to earn such love from a guy he considered his biggest enemy. It's Phoebe who basically tells her uncle Roy to pull his head out of his ass and be nice to Jaime at least. Roy falls for Jaime all over again somehow, but what happens when Roy gets his memory back at the most random moment and has to deal with how he treated Jaime during his amnesia?
Roy being in a horrific car accident. He suffers a lot of injuries, the worst be a skull fracture and Jamie has been told that the Roy that comes back might not be his Roy. Jamie is prepared for a lot things, had read up on speech issues and everything they told him about....but he isn't ready for the pain of Roy freaking out and going "what the fuck is this prick doing here? Come to cheers my almost death?", and when his sister gently reminds Roy that they're married, Roy freaks out even more.
They run some tests and it turns out Roy has amnesia. He thinks he's still playing for Richmond and is captain. He's no memory of Jamie being trade to City and back or of coaching or anything. Roy is frustrated and angry, not particularly at Jamie, but at his brain and because Jamie is there.....he takes it out on Jamie a lot. Jamie just grins and bares it because this is Roy, his Roy, his husband andnlove and he will not give up on him.
Everyone is careful with him. The doctors advised that triggering memory's on purpose could be dangerous so they have to wait but Pheobe is sick of seeing her Uncle Roy so angry and her Uncle Jamie so sad when they've been so happy together for the last few years. So she sits down with Roy and shows him everything. Videos of their wedding. Pictures of them. And then shows him that they'd recently been approved to adopt and it breaks Roy
He starts being softer with Jamie, explaining that "I don't remember why I fell for you, but I can see it. I see you" and when he hugs Jamie, Jamie clings to him and whispers "its okay, it's okay if you never remember, we can make new memories".
They take it one day at a time after that. Roy tries to be romantic. He's a bit skittish of kissing and touching but they take it slow and then he starts to remember. He remembers bits and pieces and then one day he's sitting with Jamie, just watching a movie and he whispers "I told yoy you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and that if I fucked this up to cut my balls off in my wedding vows" and then he's crying because "I'm sorry. I failed you, I failed us" while Jamie just holds him and tries not to cry because he has his Roy back....but at what cost
#amnesia au#roy kent/jamie tartt#roy/jamie#ted lasso#jamie/roy#roy x jamie#ted lasso fic#jamie tartt#roy kent
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There's a couple more things happening one of them is that bja is losing positions in power now too he's no longer mayor than 10 out of the 20 towns he was and he's being attacked because he will not shut up about it and he is going down he's becoming a weakling here in Florida and elsewhere lots of places there presences practically nothing and he keeps saying he's huge and he keeps getting fired from jobs and Trump is going down hard he's getting fired from all over the place and he's a massive pig it really these people are useless there's other news
-there's masses of bja at the borders of the United States trying to get in and they're forces stopping them and there are massive numbers trying to come east and there stopped the whole way and a flotilla arrived at 3:00 a.m. and it was wiped out and it was swiped out by the pseudo empire who are also being displaced from Florida as are the clothes it is a few other people around I was thinking it's not right but I'm too busy chortling and making stupid noises. There's a huge number of people who are going to be killed for saying stupid things last night and that's what the empire says they say that you deserve this kind of treatment and stuff and are seeking you on warrants. They going after you pretty good and a lot of you but there's big news
-the warlocks have suffered huge losses recently and aren't about 65% of what they were a few weeks ago those are massive numbers and it's going down today to probably 63 or 62% and every day they're getting knocked out of them so they're going to try other stuff and one of the things they're going to try is to use monsters and two of the monsters are venom and she venom. And they are going to bring them tomorrow say. And it seems like they're keeping it away from him and he is fighting them over it and he finally gets the thing and he it's a s*** that's out of him. And it's in the camp David camp it's his word girls over and over the murdering girls over and over finally started attacking him and he got killed a bunch and he started to try and cancel those them checks again nunchucks again and it didn't work finally in the movie fear in British Columbia is able to secure them because they took them up there after Georgia to try and study them and Trump was the one who was cooking this too he had caught by mask who hit him with the sword a bunch of times and he died and he was being slow cooked no they escaped and it starts a war between Trump people and bja people and PGA was not hit himself that is a war and right now they cancel we're doing the kids afford it but that's what they're doing that's where he brought the artifacts
Thor Freya
Olympus
Zues Hera
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rambles on armed reaction & feminism
So I just finished Armed Reaction IV (I’ve been on a slow binge-watch of the series since last August cause I love Joyce Tang) and I have some thoughts I guess. Disclaimer: This is in no way a cohesive essay or anything just pure rambles cause it’s 1am.
TWs for rape mention
Chan Sam Yuen (Joyce Tang) has always been the heart of the series even if the first female lead is always another actress in each series. In the first series she’s a complete tomboy, and the series is trying to have a feminist message and empower women. She was the first female cop in HK to fire a gun and gun-toting female cops/female cops in general were scarce so it was a big deal. To be honest I’ve never been really into the whole Sam Yuen/Ching Fung relationship from the start (even Joyce/Marco🤮 stuff irl aside).
Anyways, Ching Fung (Marco Ngai) literally admits to being a misogynist and discriminates women based on their gender which is just... a red flag. The show wanted a nice enemies to lovers arc and sure their relationship is portrayed as cute sometimes but they sure go through a lot of shit. Even before the main messed up cheating arc with Wing (Angie Cheong) he gets drunk and hooks up with some girl in the first series too.
I feel like the first series has a lot of these little feminist moments, where Sam Yuen is adamant that women can do anything men can do. Her character is contrasted with Yu Sau Ngo (Esther Kwan) who, at the start of the series, is a housewife who works a deskjob cause it’s more acceptable for women. She prioritizes her kid and her husband, but in the end her husband leaves her. I didn’t really like Bobby Au-Yeung’s character Siu Sang either. I’m glad Chi (Ada Choi)’s character actually broke up with him cause I don’t think I’d forgive a man if he switched out my birth control to try getting me pregnant like... red flag.
Anyways, then as the series progresses and she becomes a mother, and starts to prioritize her family over work which I guess is normal and happens to women irl. It just felt like her character started changing too much and didn’t feel like the original feminist her from the first series. I suppose people change, and they wanted to show character development, like the tomboy in her early 20s can become a good wife/mother etc. I was kinda iffy on that, I don’t think she should’ve changed too much. Or maybe it’s meant to show that women can lean into “traditional” female roles and still be strong feminists or whatever idk. Then I noticed in 2021 series, they bring back the feminist quotes from Sam Yuen. She challenges Moses Chan’s character a lot, saying things about strong women, and telling him not to assume certain misogynistic stereotypes about women. I think it’s a little on the nose and trying to get the audience to remember the first series like ‘Hey remember her?? The strong female character?’
Now let’s get into her experiences. Chan Sam Yuen is notorious for being one of if not TVB’s most tragic characters. Father already dead, violently raped, ptsd and other trauma, son killed, daughter kidnapped, nearly died giving birth to her second son, husband killed, etc... like... can she please have a break??? What was the reason for all this... Did the show keep throwing curveballs at her to prove how strong she is despite all that? Why does she have to suffer so much? Is it like those horror movies where she’s being punished for being a feminist? But ironically, it’s the things associated with traditional femininity like motherhood/being a wife where she gets hurt the most, like she loses her children and husband. Is this supposed to mean anything or am I reading too much into it??
The ending of series 4 was kind of an open ending (well until the 2021 series came), and was supposed to be hopeful. (And another TVB BBQ finale) Sam Yuen spends the rest of her life being optimistic that maybe one day, her husband will return. Maybe he’s alive out there. This is very similar to Joyce’s other notable character Hung Sheung Sin from Come Home Love: Lo and Behold who also spends 20 years yearning for a husband to come back. I feel like with all the grief Sam Yuen endures, it could’ve been explored a lot more. I mean, there were 40 episodes in Series 4! Dragged on way too long on things that I didn’t particularly care about if you ask me, and a lot of the Bobby/Ada stuff was like an exact rehash of the Bobby/Esther stuff in earlier series (he gets the girl, he doesn’t get the girl, etc.) Then in Armed Reaction 2021 she finally gets some closure and learns to move on and finally accept that her husband is gone. Very emotional, well acted, and the best part of the reboot.
I feel that at the core of the series, the strongest points have always been the female friendships between Sam Yuen and the other female lead, whether it is Esther Kwan or Ada Choi’s characters. TBH They should’ve just been gay together They have always been supportive of each other throughout, which I appreciate.
BONUS:
Not even getting into the queer-coding discussion rn but bonus points for Sam Yuen saying she doesn’t discriminate gay people klsdjflsd.
And bonus points for Cherry (Mandy Lam) showing up in Armed Reaction IV. I didn’t expect her to be in so many episodes and have a whole plot based around her being forced to drug-deal. I thought she would only be in 1 episode so I’m pleasantly surprised <3 Love her and wish she could’ve interacted with Sam Yuen.
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May I request a smut scenario about Jake x fem reader first time? Thanks! 👉🏻👈🏻
Sure! I usually don't write smut, especially because I think I'm not really familiar with stuff like that (I don't read any lewd fanfics >^<) but I'll definitely try my best! 🌼💕 It won't be too hardcore tho.
Didn't proofread it c': hope there aren't many typos. I made headcanons because when it's about lewd stuff I don't feel comfortable writing full scenarios. I hope it's still okay.
。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。 🍐。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。🍐。・゚♡゚・。
𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗝𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗞𝗶𝗺 +:。.。
webtoon lookism: Jake Kim
warnings: lewd schmexy time
。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。 🍐。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。🍐。・゚♡゚・。
🍈 Jake gives you a lot of time to feel comfortable around him first. Don't expect your first time to be the first ever contact to sexual things. It's gonna be a long process; some months of discovering the others body and appreciating sweet spots. Jake wants to know your boundaries well enough before anything happens which you'll regret.
🍈 You both didn't plan the first time either. Some couples may sense it coming up but with you and Jake it was so spontaneous. He couldn't really hold back after you spent the day on the beach. He wanted you, badly. Please don't imagine Jake as a beast though. When it's about intimate things like sex, he's soft and caring. His urges to love and make you feel good are a constant thing in his head though.
🍈 It will start with the usual make-out. It's evening, you both already ate something heart-warming and took a shower. You originally wanted to watch a movie but the eyes for another pay no attention to the TV. He will hug you tightly from behind as he spoons you. Sensing your fresh smell from the shower and your soft bum makes him needy and you shortly notice something coming up down there.
🍈 Jake definitely is really loving and he won't dare to hurt you. Even if you wanted it, his heart would ache in pain and suffering. He doesn't want to harm you and he thinks if you'd enjoy pain, he were to take you to a therapist. He really cares about your mental state and for him degrading or spanking you only hurts this man. He wants to adore you.
🍈 Speaking of adoration; expect a lot of praises and compliments from him. Especially the first time should be a sensual memory for the further future. He'll call you mine and gets possessive over you. Don't mix that up with the toxic trait, Jake really only means good things to you. He'll appreciate your insecurities. For example when you have a mole on your inner tight, he gently kisses it and tells you how beautiful it is to him. Don't even dare thinking he's lying - in his eyes you're a goddess and every inch of your golden body deserves love.
🍈 definitely the dominant part, unless you feel comfortable in taking over. He wouldn't mind because your wishes matter to him and your pleasure means a lot too. Your satisfaction goes first for him though. He'll take all the time for you even if it means the whole night. He wants you in every gorgeous way there is and he doesn't want to miss a detail.
🍈 Surely gets aroused by your noises and soft voice. Don't be shy to make some sounds. You have no reason to feel shy or embarrassed. Jake will feel happy and aroused when you let yourself totally go under his care. He's very loving and won't even dare to bruise your legs; except for some hickeys. He wants to mark you as his girl.
🍈 He'll be very slow and worried at first. Once you're used to it and you give him signs it's okay to continue, he loosens up and gets a little more pace. He's not the fastest man out there. He wants to share time with you and not to instantly come. He has a lot of stamina, which is no surprise, and he'll use it for you. Jake also thinks going too energetic on the first ever night would make you feel overwhelmed. From previous experience he's aware overwhelming about the first time can cause some emotional distress.
🍈 He's the softest guy when it's about aftercare. Even while doing it he will ask if you're okay, if you're thirsty, if you need a break, if you need to pee, if you feel emotionally stable and and and. He's a dream to have as boyfriend. After you're done, he makes sure you go pee. You shouldn't get an infection. While you're in the bathroom, he'll change the sheets quickly and cuts some fruits as snacks.
。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。 🍐。・゚♡゚・。🍈。・゚♡゚・。🍐。・゚♡゚・。
#webtoon#lookism#lookism hcs#lookism headcanons#jake kim x reader#kim gimyung#jake kim#webtoon lookism#lookism x reader#Kim gimyung x reader
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When I was in High School, my crush and I got into a fight and neither of us were talking to each other. One day I was headed up the stairwell to get to my science class, when I saw them coming up from behind... I don't think they had even noticed me yet considering that they were busy talking to their friend BUT I am slow going up stairs so even if I rushed up the stairs roadrunner style they would have caught up to me, well; the little corner that connects the steps going up to the second floor and the steps heading down to the ground floor had a large open window... and I jumped out, like I literally just jumped out. I didn't even think it through, I just saw the window and my body was like "Yep, IK what to do." I landed on a bush or tree? It's too big to call a bush but too small to call a tree, landed in a squat before my feet gave out and I fall onto my knees and got two large grass stains on my jeans knee part, couldn't walk right either after that landing, I was shaky all day lol but it was a risk well calculated bc the whole thing would have been so awkward. I mean we used to be like BFFS before the rumors began and then they started and we just stopped talking without warning, we couldn't even look at each other. Our science partners, bc we were in groups of four, literally got fed up of our bullshit bc we literally refused to acknowledge the others existence... anyway, I digress...
Anyway, this whole story is a long winded way of me requesting how the brothers would react to an MC that literally just jumps out windows to avoid awkward moments, or to dodge people that want to ask them for favors, or when they straight up want to avoid someone?
And sorry about the large ass message, but thanks for letting me vent
You have a special place in my heart, window-jumping anon. Just uhhhhhhh look down next time okay? Ily
The Demon Brothers react to GN!MC jumping out of a window to avoid an awkward moment
(Mario jumping sound effect)
Lucifer
He approached you after class to ask exactly what you were snickering at your D.D.D. about during class.
Must've been real funny if you weren't listening to your lecture, huh?
"I imagine you've somehow found something worthy of laughing about in Demonology 101?"
You do not have the guts to tell him that you and Mammon were texting back and forth, abusing a new photo editing app to alter pictures of the eldest himself.
I mean, take a wild guess about how he’d react to seeing how big you edited his head to be-
The avatar of pride lets his eyes pierce into you, like he's trying to stare a hole through your blanket of "uh"s and "um"s,
You don't exactly see a way out of this one, but you can NOT let Lucifer see your photo gallery.
So you glance to your left to the open classroom window, and do the only thing you can think of: you jump.
Luckily you're on the ground floor so you??? really didn't have to jump so dramatically. But the fact that you yeeted yourself into a bush JUST to escape has left Lucifer speechless.
Honestly? He so impressed with your dedication that he's not gonna stop you. Besides, he's gonna see you back at home anyway so-
Also thinks you might be hanging around Mammon too much because that 100% seems like a stunt he’d pull.
Mammon
GIVE GOLDIE BACK RIGHT NOW
He KNOWS Lucifer told you to bring the credit card to him, and he demands to know where it's hidden! He's positive you know where it is!
But you don't really though?? You just brought the card to him like you were asked. If anything, you're the victim here!
But Mammon isn't having that. The avatar of greed is circling around you like an angry cat, patting you all over like airport security to see if you've got his beloved card.
"Where is it, huh?! Ya really think you can steal from THE Mammon?! Even if Lucifer told ya to, who do ya think you are?!"
When he has confirmed that you don't in fact have his previous Goldie, he's now cornering you up against a wall.
If looks could kill, you would've exploded into a fine powder
And you feel like your mental strength is about to do just that. So what do you do after you notices the slightest of breezes caress your face?
You jump outta that open window, before Mammon can even finish his "Wh- Oi! What're ya-"
Even though you just face planted into the garden, you're up on your feet and making a mad dash for somewhere that wasn't here.
Mammon lets you run for ten while seconds before he's hopping out after you. You think you can outfox the Great Mammon?! Think again!!!
Levi
You... weren't interested in this movie in the slightest, but you didn't have the heart to tell Levi that. Especially not after he’d begged/harassed you for the past week about watching it with him!
Reluctantly you agreed, and now you were suffering,,,But Levi was ecstatic! This movie was a classic! Sure it was an old one and the acting was a little bad, but you could overlook that if you watched it with your heart, not your eyes!
According to Levi.
You managed to keep your eyes open for the grueling one and a half hour movie, enduring every corny line of bad acting, horrible CGI, and lame sound effects straight out of a 90s super hero movie, and now the hell was finally over...
Or so you though, until Levi followed that up by immediately pulling out a cosplay outfit worn by one of the supporting characters in the show.
Funny how it seemed specifically tailored to your measurements. Even funnier how Levi was looking at you with those damned eyes.
You knew what he wanted without him even having to say it. But one look at the gaudy outfit he presented to you made your heart burn with a sudden indescribable urge.... to escape.
Honestly you caught him so off guard by suddenly getting up and sprinting out of the room, that he makes a sound that's pretty much the noise equivalent of "?!?!?!?!?!?"
He watches you run down to the end of the hall, throw the window open, and fuckin JUMP. Pretty sure he just witnessed your death??
Also this kinda solidified his 'gross otaku' mentality, seeing as you literally jumped out of a window to get out of cosplaying with him. A simple no would've sufficed, MC.......,.,,..,,,
Hey gamers... can we get an F in the chat? 😔✌️💦
Satan
Satan lent you a book to read last week that he was sure you'd be interested in! He found it pretty interesting himself, so he wants to see if you'd like it as much as he did.
That being said, you don't have the heart to tell him that you,,, didn't read any of it. Well you kind of did, if the cover counts for anything.
You doubt he would accept that as an answer, considering how you told him how much you appreciated receiving the book, and how you'd definitely read it and let him know how it was.
So now, Satan had come into your room with two cups of tea, ready to settle down and have a nice, long talk about your thoughts on the riveting plot that you promised you would indulge in.
"I'm really glad you decided to read it. I found that the protagonist reminded me a lot like you. I'd like to know what you thought about it."
Satan sets down the tea cups, and one sip tells you that he brewed it exactly the way you like.
His expression is eager and warm as he waits for you to begin gushing about just how deeply the story touched you... how absolutely moved you are by the sheer majesty that was the book he lent you...
Okay yeah, you're sweating bullets. You can't imagine how the sparkly eyed avatar of wrath would react to learning that you chose the company of your D.D.D. over Satan's book.
You don't have such an ice cold hard that you can just crush this book nerds dreams like that! And every time you look at his expectant face, the weight of your crimes weigh heavier on you until... you break.
Satan watches in shock and awe as you almost perfectly reenact the big scene where the main character leaps out of the window of a building rigged to explode, before making their escape. And you did just that.
Wow.. he never thought you could be so moved by a story, but he completely understands...
Asmo
How many outfits, Asmo. HOW MANY OUTFTITS WILL IT TAKE TO APPEASE YOU?
He's made you model TWELVE outfits so far, and you swear if you see another ascot, you're gonna lose your mind.
Asmodeus doesn't seem to notice the way the light slowly fades from your eyes, because he's pulling out outfit number thirteen with that cheery smile of his.
"Isn't this one absolutely adorable? Look, this part will look lovely around your waist! This part here hugs your body in all the right places, and this-"
You can't do it. You've gotta get out of here. You'd love to stand around and get mild rug burn from trying on a billion different clothes, but-
Actually no you wouldn't.
You DID promise Asmo you'd hang out with him today, but this wasn't really your idea of a good time.
"-Oooh, just thinking about it makes me want to eat you up~! Here, put it on for me, will you? I'll give you a kiss as a reward!"
You would do no such thing.
You make a mad dash for his ornate window and push it open. He has no time to stop you as he helplessly watches you vault yourself out like the room was on fire.
"MC?! Wh-where are you going?? Come back here! Grass stains are impossible to get out of that fabric!!!"
Beel
He means well. I swear he does. It's just that Beel can be a little... overbearing when he's worried about you. He cares, okay?
But he hasn't seen you eat anything all day! You tell him it's because you've got a stomach ache from who knows what, and you promise you've had little snacks here and there to keep from starving, but he can't accept that!
Eating is important, and you need it to survive. So Beelzebub was currently trying to nudge your mouth open with a pizza slice, while you vehemently refused. "Just one bite. And then another after that. You have to eat, or you'll go hungry... and I don't want that."
Beel knows the true pain of being hungry, and he’d never wish that on you! So just forget about your stomach ache for two seconds and open up-
Not that you really can. The aroma of that pizza was not sitting well on your stomach, and you were pretty sure you needed a fast escape or you'd risk losing your lunch. Greasy foods didn't exactly mix well with sour stomachs...
Beel still won't let up. He has a strong hand planted firmly on the small of your back, as if trying to prevent you from leaning back any further in your attempt to escape the pizza.
"If you eat this, I'll treat you to dessert at Madam Screams," he says, as if bribing your refusal of food USING food will somehow work out.
You can't break his heart, but you seriously can't eat that! Your head is spinning, thoughts racing, face becoming greasier and greasier from the pizza pressed against it, and-
You snap. In a sudden burst of strength you break free from Beel's grasp, and sprint toward the nearest window. All you see is your chance for freedom, and you're taking it.
You leap out and tumble into the ground, all while Beelzebub wonders what?? Just happened???? Did you really hate pizza that much...?
He never knew you were such a picky eater... To think you'd go so far as to jump out of the window though...
Belphie
You thought it was cute at first, when Belphegor wanted you to join him for his naps. And you didn't mind much. It was the weekend, you were tired, and he makes a pretty good body pillow.
But you didn't realize he planned for this to become an everyday thing. The youngest might not act it, but he sure could be spoiled.
But seriously, if you slept any longer, you might never have a normal sleep schedule again! It never occurred to you just how often Belphie sleeps.
He's definitely not human, because there's no way you can keep up with that, and maintain a normal lifestyle.
But the way he quietly, gently grabs your sleeve to cue your next nap session makes your heart clench. Why was it so damned hard to say no to this gremlin??
You were trying your best though, but the words always seemed to get caught in your throat. Belphie picked apart your excuses, doing everything in his power to take you back to the attic.
"You can study when you wake up." "Mammon wants to go shopping? Reschedule." "Lucifer told you not to be late to the board meeting? Just hide."
You're starting to get sucked into the sleepy lull of his voice, and it feels like your entire body is becoming heavy with fatigue. But no.... you resist!
Since there's no escaping this through words, you have to think fast. Fortunately, your fast thinking has led to an amazing solution!
Jump out of the window, baby
Belphie is just??? Did you fuckin???? Are your legs okay??????????????
He probably stops asking you to nap with him for a while, since you're willing to almost break your legs just to get out of it. You're gonna make him have weird dreams....
#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me mammon#shall we date obey me#obey me beel#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#mammon#obey me belphie#obey me!#obey me! levi#obey me! satan#obey me! belphegor#obey me lucifer#obey me levi#obey me satan#obey me Asmo#obey me asmodeus#obey me! shall we date?#shall we date?#shall we date#shall we date? obey me!#shall we date om#om swd#om shall we date#obey me! beelzebub#obey me mc#list
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Kong's Halloween Review
31 days of Spooky movies... reviewed so you don't have to! I did this once before, but I'll give ya the reasoning. Before 2012 I was terrified of scary movies. Wouldn't watch any of em but then 2012 hit with some medical things and it sort of broke that fear of scary movies.
Rated 0-10 and can go into the negatives for the following:
Kid Death
Animal Death
Preachy
Making fun of a group type
Boring me
The Rule of 20 also applies. I give the movie 20 minutes to interest me, if it doesn't.. I move on because it likely will never catch my interest.
Also you can pre-screen movies on your own by using this website:
It covers more than just dog death and hits upon many different emotional triggers. Also if you are a member of the website you can add things and also suggest new triggers that will be voted for and provided they get enough up votes, added to the list of things to screen for.
Below are the first 14 movies in no particular order. When I get the rest done I will reblog and post the later half with my best picks from the 31.
Hellraiser 2022
Decent reboot but will never replace the old ones. Lots of body mod/horror involved filled with blood and gore filled. Wouldn’t be a Hellraiser without it. No animal slaughters, no kid slaughter. 5/10 Spoops and 3 bonus for not being cheap and using the trope of animal/kid deaths to make something scary.
Grand Total: 8
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Grimcutty
Not bad… an interesting take on parenting kids who grew up on the internet… No animal slaughters, but some kid damage. 6/10 spoops +1 for no animal tropes -1 kid tropes. Since kids were kind of central to the whole story…
Grand Total: 6
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Jessabelle
Really surprisingly good for a pg-13 scary movie. However, it’s got some depression, some kid killing in it. Pretty decent twist at the end. Some sacrificial animal deaths too. 7/10 spoops +1 for how scary the entity was portrayed, -1 for animal death visuals, and -1 for kid murder tropes. The kid death was kind of crucial to the plot, BUT You don’t have to kill animals to be scary!
Grand Total: 6
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The Accursed
I think this one suffers from my lack of knowledge on gypsy culture. It had some tense moments, some creepy things…it was good, but I didn’t quite get all the references. I understood the plot and I knew what was happening, but I think I would have enjoyed it more if I’d had some exposure to gypsy culture. 6/10 spoops. +1 for no kid/ -1 animal slaughter.
Grand Total: 6
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The Cursed
I didn’t get 15 minutes in. Don’t bother. 0/10 spoops. -3 for not getting my attention fast enough.
Grand Total: -3
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The Last Rite
23 minutes in and I’m bored. I have no idea when the demon is supposed to start plaguing her, but it certainly isn’t interesting enough for me to keep watching. 0/10 spoops. -3 for not getting my attention +1 for boring me to death.
Grand Total: -2
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Lights Out
Holy cow, by the description… I expected a shitshow, but it was good. 8/10 spoops… though I think it was more a thriller suspense than spoops. +2 for the final girl who’s got one heck of a scream. It was a chilling, but somewhat sad story. +2 for no animal/kid slaughtering tropes. 12/10
Grand Total: 12
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The Vigil
15 minutes in and I’m bored. I wanted to like it; but no spoops were hinted at… so I have none to give. No spoops for you. 0/10 -3 for not getting my attention.
Grand Total: -3
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Wish Upon
20 minutes in and there’s graphic dog death. 0/10 spoops. It had no spoops and negative spoops for using an unnecessary trope. -3 for the doggy death and -2 for making it graphic.
Grand Total: -5
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Room 203
Classic moving into a haunted place theme. Some Celtic lore, bit of some dark subject matter in some places, but otherwise a solid good spoopy vibe. 5/10 spoops, +2 for no animal/kid slaughter tropes.
Grand Total: 7
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You are Not My Mother
This one was a slow simmer all the way through, good creep factor. Interesting take on Celtic lore, but really wasn’t spoopy all that much. 5/10 spoops. -2 for implied child death, +3 for [redacted spoiler], and +1 for a new take on an old monster.
Grand Total: 7
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Lantern’s Lane
Standard college urban legend vibes… saw the plot coming a mile away. Bad acting, but… it’s sort of campy in an old school 80s vibe. 5/10 +3 for the vibe.
Grand Total: 6
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Possessor: Uncut
Highly disturbing movie. Lots of body horror and I just didn’t quite know what was going on. I was more disturbed than anything. Not my cup of tea… 0/10 spoops. No bonus or negatives. There were no animal kills though. It's really hard to see a positive to this movie at all! -5 for kid death. It really was terrible and disturbing.
Grand Total: -5
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See for Me
Thriller type spoopy movie. 0/10 spoops… It wasn’t all that thrill/spoop… +2 for no animal/kid death.
Grand Total: 2
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I Dream Of Jinnie
Kinktober Day 10 - Seokjin/Edging
Warnings: Sub!Jin, Discussion of Kinks, Edging. Y/N is a genie
You’re not exactly sure how you ended up here… Most people would assume a sleepover with their best friend meant popcorn, cuddles, and a movie. Not your best friend. Seokjin decided your friendship had gone on too long to not have a more in-depth knowledge of one another’s kinks. And what better way to do that than by watching porn.
You could think of a few better ways actually, and they all involved alcohol. Sadly, tonight did not. It’s not that you were a prude, far from it in fact. You just didn’t fancy listening to every sexual fantasy Jin had, especially when he was so often the main character in yours. You would much rather suffer through the next hour of sexual frustration than admit that to him though.
“Doesn’t this look like a lot of fun?” He says as you watch a man get teased. The girl he was with must have worked him up to the edge three or four times by now. Honestly, the poor guy looked like he needed a break and cuddle. But then your mind ran away with the idea of Jin’s face all scrunched up as he was denied release over and over and you could feel yourself coming around to the idea. You shake the thought away and swallow thickly.
“You’d really want to be tied up like that? Effectively be tortured for an hour or two?” You ask, not sure you want the visual that accompanies the answer.
“Are you kidding? I wish a girl would do that to me.”
“Ah fu…” Your body starts moving automatically. Your arms fold and eyes blink and suddenly you are no longer in Jin’s bedroom.
Instead you stand in the garishly decorated round room that was your lamp. Before you even get a chance to explain, Jin is screaming. He pulls at the ties securing his wrists, only succeeding in making them tighter. You reach for a blanket to secure around his naked waist, blushing furiously after seeing the size of him.
“Jin…. JIN!” You yell quieting him down. “Jin it’s fine. You’re safe.”
“How the hell are we safe? Can you see a door? How did I get tied to a bed? Where the fuck are we? Why aren’t you tied up? Are you kidnapping me?” He starts to scream again, and you can’t help magicking his mouth shut for a moment.
“Let me explain and stop wriggling or the blanket will fall down.” He does as you say, and you reach down to pat his head. “Good master.” You hit your forehead at the slip. For months you’d managed to avoid him finding out he was in control of your powers. It was harder to stop calling someone master during a wish.
His eyes went wide at the name. You could see him trying to put pieces of his current predicament together, it would be endearing if he didn’t look like he was working himself up again.
“Okay, quickfire. I’m a genie. You’re my master. I don’t know if you remember when we met, in that market when you guys play Saudi Arabia?” He nods in understanding, his expression still a betrayal of his distress. “You picked up a lamp, my lamp, this lamp.” You gesture around you and he takes in the room properly. “You made a wish; I am supposed to now fulfil that wish.” You remove the charm on his lips to allow for his response.
“I didn’t mean to make a wish… I don’t… I didn’t. That was a really bad wish.” His concerns seem to have shifted. He motions down at his naked form and then his brain must catch up with the rest of the information. “Wait? Does this mean I’m forcing you to do this? I don’t want to force you to do anything with me, especially not something like this. How do I unwish it.” You sit by his side, softly stroking the skin of his arm. The longer you wait to enact the wish the harder it gets to resist. Touching him allows you to slow down.
“You can’t unwish something, you can only make another wish. But that would be a terrible waste of a wish. I’m sorry master, this is my fault. I’m supposed to introduce myself, grant three wishes, and *poof* next master. If you want it to stop all you have to do is wish it.” You inform him.
“What if I don’t want it to stop? Do you want me to stop it?” You think on it, truly thinking about whether the wish was pushing you, or whether the heat rising in your stomach at the thought of torturing the idol was your own.
“I don’t want you to stop it, master.”
“Stop calling me master…”
“What do you want me to call you, master?” You cringe as the formality slips out again.
“Jinnie, baby, good boy, honey. Any term of endearment you like.” His voice breaks halfway through the sentence.
“And you’re sure you don’t want to wish us out of here Jinnie? We can never mention it again?” You reassure him.
“I’m sure.” He nods. Your stomach jumps and you can no longer stop your body from enacting his wish. You whip away the blanket and straddle his waist. His hips try to grind up into you as you lean down to kiss along his collarbones.
“Already so impatient baby. You are not going to come out of this well if you can’t even wait five minutes for me to warm you up.” He whimpers as you push back against him, forcing his bum flat against the bed. You rock back and forth a little as you mark his chest, each bite shining red. You don’t stop until it looks like a constellation of stars across his previously perfect skin. His cock strains underneath you, precum forming a wet patch on your sweats. A problem you could easily fix. Settling back on your heels you give the man a show. First, your shirt comes off, then your bra. You stand to take your pants off, giving him the view of a lifetime.
He licks his lips as your panties cum off, hands instinctively fighting against the restraints he had been placed in. You lean over him, hands on the wall, putting yourself on display for him. Eyes hungrily rove over you; a man has never looked like he fucked up more than Jin right now.
With a sadistic giggle, you crouch back down, further back this time. You push your hands up his legs, stretching yourself out between his legs. Arse in the air as your mouth got closer to his dick. He shudders as you blow on the damp tip. Nails dig into the juicy flesh of his thighs as you tease. It’s almost too easy. Each small movement makes him jump in anticipation. You lick carefully along the length before bringing in a hand to help you hold him steady. You don’t get a chance to take him into your mouth before he is crying out.
“Please” His voice is high and whiny.
“Please what honey?” You purposefully chose the breathiest nickname as you linger close to his slit.
“Please, just please.”
“Begging already? This really isn’t going to last very long at all.” Tutting in fake disappointment, you drop his cock. “I thought this was your wildest fantasy Jinnie, what happened?” You crawl back up his body to be face to face. He pushes his neck up as far as he can.
“Please kiss me.” The request takes you by surprise. Any other time you had performed sexual domination wishes no one had ever asked for a kiss. It takes a minute for you to digest it and what it might mean to you, but it’s too late now to think about that. You oblige. It starts with a peck, then two, then his tongue is dragging against your lips every time you lean in.
You’re grinding on him more for you own pleasure than his now. Dragging your hips back and forth, rubbing his cock between your pussy lips with each motion. So absorbed in the kiss, you don’t notice the way he tenses. But the wish does, and it’s not fulfilled yet. You’re compelled to stop immediately, making him groan as his orgasm disappears.
“Sorry baby, I’m just giving you what you asked for.” You mumble apologetically as you kiss along his jaw, although you’re not sure you’re actually all that sad about it.
“Please keep going.” He says through gritted teeth. And who are you to refuse him? Your nails scratch down his torso as you return to your position between his legs. This time you don’t tease. Immediately you see how far you can take him, making it about two thirds before you really start to struggle. Using your right hand, you pump the remainder of the length. Every so often you can feel all of his muscles tense. Your left-hand holds his hips in place as you drag your tongue along his slit. This time you can feel him getting close and pull off just before it’s too late.
He practically screams as you squeeze hard at the base of his cock. The following whimpers are too pretty for you to ignore. It’s like your drawn back to his lips by the siren’s call. You swallow the sounds as they come, waiting for him to calm down just enough for you to keep going. He is starting to lose it a little now, incoherent mumbles against your lips as he sloppily tries to keep pace with you.
“Such a good boy for me.” Pushing the hair away, you press a soft kiss to his sweaty forehead. “Let’s see if you can take it if you have all of me.” You reach back and line him up to your entrance. You have to take it slow from the lack of preparation, but its just adds to his torture, and from this vantage point you can see every crease on his face as he tries to focus on not enjoying the feeling too much. It burns as you reach the last inch or so. The width of him making you feel full in the best way.
You pull up before you can reach the hilt, restarting the entire motion, kissing all over his face as he groans and writhes underneath you. You increase the pace, focusing as much on his pleasure as you can.
“Y/N?” Jin is practically panting. “Please, no more.”
“Just one more time Jinnie, so close. Such a good boy for me.” You can se the way his abs start to tighten, and you cease all movement. He is sobbing now, so pretty covered in tears. You wipe them away and give him a longer respite period. He can just about breath again when you start rocking back and forth.
“Ready to finish Jinnie?” He nods tiredly, but before you can speed up he calls out.
“Wait… have you finished?” You’re confused, this was supposed to be about him. “I want you to finish around me? Can you?” He looks like a puppy as he blinks up at you and stumbles over his words.
“Yeah, I can. I just wanted to focus on ruining you… That was your wish” You sit up properly, bracing your hands on his chest.
“Please, pretty please. I wanna feel it, feel you.” You change the angle, aiming your clit for his pubic mound with every forward motion. More for you than him, each move is calculated for pleasure. One hand digs into his chest as the other finds its way between your legs, you toss your head back as your end nears, your entire body tensing around him finishes Jin along with you.
You fall onto his chest, cautious of moving your hips too much while he is too sensitive.
“Are you okay mas… Jin?” All he can manage is a thumbs up and you can’t help but laugh at him.
You dismount Jin carefully and lie down next to him. Twitching your nose takes care of the remnants of sex disappear, sweat and semen evaporated into the ether.
“Why aren’t I that tired?” Jin asks snuggling into your side when he is all clean.
“Magic does wonders for fatigue, not so much for the emotional baggage though I’m afraid Jinnie.” You wrap him into your embrace and press your lips to his forehead.
“Can I ask… Why does it look like Arabian nights in here? It’s not exactly your style.” He said glancing around at the ornate tapestries and abundance of pillows.
“My old master liked the cliché.”
“Can’t you change it?”
“Not without my master's approval.” You shrug.
“Well then change it”
“How would you like me to change it?”
“However you want to change it, how have you always wanted it to look?” You think for a second before whirling the furniture around you. The room becomes a much better reflection of you. Toned down colours and real wood. Books and papers scattered around. Artworks that you’d seen over the millennia and always wanted to own prints of. It was a lot cosier now, much more sorted to cuddles and calming down. A fluffy blanket materialises and cuddles Jin in even closer.
“Can I free you?”
“Outside of wishing it? There are rumours of other ways but none I could prove.”
“So I could wish you free and we could be together?” He asks hopefully.
“Not without you becoming trapped in the bottle.” You chuckle at the thought. “But that doesn’t matter because we are together now, I’m with you until you make your third wish.”
“Then I am never making that last wish!” He mutters craning his neck to kiss you properly.
Kinktober Masterlist 2021
Masterlist
#bts kinktober#kinktober#kpop kinktober#seokjin smut#seokjin fic#jin smut#jin fic#bts smut#bts fic#kpop smut#kpop fic#sub!jin#sub!seokjin#sub!bts#100
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Because I like to suffer I wrote a lengthy 4TOWN piece on how I think the group would break up…
Also disclaimer; Jessie is kind of the “villain” in this so if you don’t like that, this sadly isn’t for you
Also possibly ooc (and I didn’t really read up on any of the released info about them after the movie came out)
In typical early 2000s boyband fashion one of the members has to leave the group to pursue a solo career. Most people believe that Robaire would leave because he shows the most potential as a soloist, being very talented and versatile as well as charming( also being propped up by their agency the most and being the the center of attention at all times) This has lead to some resentment and envy in one particular member.
Jessie had always been someone who was meant to be on stage, he has the showmanship, the talent (the looks) and most importantly the love for the limelight that comes with being a star. So he was vastly disappointed when Robaire was made the frontman of the group. He wanted to be in Robaires position and he wanted to be appreciated by the record label. His fans have shown him so much love that he has started to question if there was an alternative to being in 4Town.
This is why he is the one who brings up that he wants to go solo. (And he is partially justified to want a way out of an agency that very obviously favors one particular member and offers him the most opportunities to). After a long stressful day of performing all of them hang out in a lounging room and Jessie and Robaire end up bickering with each other.
At one point Jessie passive aggressively attacks Robaire only to then drop the bombshell of an announcement. The others are a little stunned at his proposal, they were aware that their agency was pretty shitty when it came to equal distribution but to outright say that he wanted to leave the group came completely out of left field.
Jessie directly confronting Robaire wasn’t actually that surprising as there was always a bit of tension between him and Robaire. Jessie liked to provoke things, take things a bit too far and Robaire thought that Jessie laid it on too thick, and was atotal showoff and playboy. In short: their personalities clashed. The underlying tension bubbling up was finally being released, the long day of work making all of them even more irritable. The others desperately try to prevent the altercation from spiraling out of control even as it gets louder and messier. Jessie gets very personal and a bit nasty, directly insulting Robaire.
Aaron Z usually keeps to himself and tries to stay out of their petty drama but this is obviously a huge deal so he chimes in as well(he speaks up when it matters and, because he is pretty close with Robaire, he defends their leader). Taeyoung is the one who tries to pacify the situation, its a lot and he just wants everybody to get along and calm down. Aaron T would be in shock, he doesn’t know how to react or what to do, that’s it for him lmaoo
The night ends with nothing resolved and the members just being drained. The following days aren’t any less stressful and it’s a slow grueling process that deeply divides the members….
And I really didn’t feel like writing any further but I think you get the idea
#turning red#4town taeyoung#4town aaron z#4town jesse#4town aaron t#4town robaire#4town#4townie#4town headcanons
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Eunoia // Ch. 12
eunoia (noun): beautiful thinking, the possession of a well-balanced mind, which exhibits goodwill and kindness
Pairings: Hybrid! BTS x reader
Summary: You are a world famous director and you have dedicated your life to your job.You have everything you could ever dream of; wealth, recognition, talent, your friends and family. But loneliness ins’t cured by success. So what happens when you somehow rescue seven hybrids? Can they fill the void?
Genre: Angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut
Word Count: 18.1k+
Warnings: Abuse and violence, mentions of past sexual abuse, mentions of putting down hybrids, discussion of insomnia caused by a traumatic event, panic attacks, derogetory language
Masterlist
Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11
Phew, that was long one. Please comment and reblog it really motivates me to keep writing. And I always love receiving asks so don’t be shy ;)
"I can't believe this is happening! Why can't I receive good news for once?" After the initial shock, you were fuming. "Work of months has been destroyed and for what? Because someone decided not to take the proper safety measures to save some money. People could have been hurt in there! Seriously hurt. And it would have been on our heads!"
Namjoon was holding your phone, the email you had received opened on the screen. "You didn't know they hadn't taken the necessary precautions. It wouldn't have been on your head."
"Can you imagine what would have happened if we had been filming? If the actors and the crew were inside and the building collapsed on us?" The chair scraped against the floor as you raised to your feet. You couldn't stay sitting anymore. "I don't even want to think about that. How many people... If we would even get out of there alive. And it isn't only us. What if the earthquake hadn't hit at night? And the workers were still inside? What then? This is wrong on so many levels I can't even begin to count."
Five point six Richter. That was the magnitude of the earthquake that had hit Virginia. It had been felt in Washington. They said it had affected a radius of two hundred kilometers around the center of the earthquake. No one had expected it and no one had been prepared. In the email there was a detailed description of how the earthquake had caused the sets for The Raven Cycle to collapse in on themselves, because the respective protection measures hadn't been taken. The earthquake had hit at night, waking up everyone in the area and causing panic as people flooded the streets. They had discovered the ruined sets in the morning.
Protection measures were of utmost important in every environment and you were baffled that a film studio with such prestige would disregard them so easily. You had half a mind to storm into the building you had just returned from and make a scene in front of everyone. They had put everyone in danger, not only the actors and the crew and all the people working there but also the passersby who could have had metal rods falling on their heads.
How could they allow this? How could they be so careless? It wasn't a building made for only a couple of days of use with light materials. Filming would take place there for the better part of the summer. In a few months you would have been there. You could have been there.
"And now you have to leave?" Namjoon asked, jaw tense. "Can't you wait a few days and go later?" You knew what he was thinking. You didn't want to leave either. It was the worst time possible for you to leave. The two hybrids in the guestroom, the injuries you had to tend to, Jimin and Jungkook, Jimin's past. But it wasn't your decision to make.
"I can't, they have already planned the whole trip. It isn't like I have a choice. The message is clear, I will be flying to Virginia in two days. As the director and showrunner, I have to be there. They have called everyone important in the project and I am one of the lucky ones. And it isn't like I can refuse unless I have a very important reason. And I can't exactly tell them I am nursing to health a stray hybrid until he and his friend can live on their own again, instead of reporting them to the hybrid services."
Namjoon's face scrunched up at the mention of the services. They were anything but kind to hybrids. They thought they could do anything to them if they were strays before they had to give them to a center. The times he and his small pack had to run away from them weren't few. It disgusted you, the way some people behaved.
You landed back on your chair with a huff, tired of pacing. Namjoon must have got a headache from the way his eyes were following you. "This is just what I didn't need. I thought we wouldn't have to go to Virginia until summer!"
You felt like banging your head on the wall but you settled for laying you head on the desk. It collided with a dull thud.
It wasn't only the destroyed set and what that meant for the show. Slowing down of the production, a larger budget needed (oh, the irony) and the bad press you would get if it got out.
People in the area must have suffered. Flashes of collapsed buildings, shattered windows and cracks in the streets ran through your mind. No, it couldn't be that bad. You prayed it wasn't that bad.
Namjoon frowned. "What are you supposed to do there? You aren't going to help rebuild the sets. What do they need you for?" You could see the worry in his eyes. His instincts calling him to protect you, to not let you leave. You appreciated the fact he was fighting it.
With your cheek squished against the desk you said, "No, I'm not going to rebuild the sets, but they need me there nonetheless. There is a legal part of this whole thing I have to be there for. And me being there might help the ones doing the rebuilding."
Namjoon sighed, giving up on trying to keep you here. "Will John come with you?"
"Most likely," you said, raising your head from the desk and sitting back on the chair. Your back hurt from the awkward angle you had bent your body in. "I will ask him but I'm pretty sure he will say yes. He always comes with me when I'm working out of California. He has toured half of the world being my bodyguard. And this time.... This time I don't think he would let me go without him."
"It seems you do tend to travel a lot," Namjoon noted. There wasn't any judgment or disdain in his voice, he was simply stating a fact. If anything he looked at the cream and gold world globe on your desk with longing. He had told you he had never left California, created and bred in Los Angeles. You didn't like how he said "created" but you couldn't correct him. "It must be nice seeing all those places."
The gold of the globe caught the light, distorted figures moving on the polished surface. "It's nice when it's properly planned and when I actually want to go. And there aren't any natural disasters involved. I can't say that's true this time. It's the furthest it could be from the truth." You groaned. "What am I going to do now? I can't leave like this. There are so many things going on."
Namjoon was too close to what he looked like talking to you about the ending of the Book Thief. "How long will you be gone?"
"A week?" The email didn't specify. A week was how long most work trips that didn't include filming lasted, but this wasn't a normal work trip. This had never happened to you or to anyone you knew before. You had heard of disasters but nothing like this.
Your fingers had subconsciously started drumming a tune on the desk. A tune that had comforted you once. A tune he used to hum long before he turned it into a song. You stilled your hand.
An earthquake. Five point six Richter. Shaking buildings, rattling shelves, trembling chandeliers, cupboards opening and dishes and glasses falling to the floor. The kind of thing you see on the TV. The kind of thing you don't ever expect to witness. No one expects a disaster like that to strike out of the blue, but that's the way it is. There is no one to warn you, no one who can.
You didn't go to dinner. You told Namjoon not to wait for you, you would eat later. Climbing down the stairs, you stopped in front of the door and knocked. The reply was the same and Yoongi opened the door like every time.
Every room had a medical kit in the bathroom, the one in this had to be restocked twice in the past few days.
Hoseok gave you a small smile and extended his broken arm. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you started telling him of the time you had spent in the Caribbean Sea. You had stayed there for a few months and had spent most of that time in Jamaica and Puerto Rico. The sandy beaches, the endless turquoise sea and the colorful houses didn't fail to bring a smile to your face. The people had been welcoming and kind, eager to help with any problems production faced. They invited you to nights full of dancing and music and included you in everything like you belonged there.
The movie you had filmed wasn't one of your biggest hits. It wasn't nominated for an Oscar and although it did earn much recognition and was played at multiple international film festivals, it wasn't as successful as your other films. But it was the most fun you had had filming. The actors were incredible both at their job and out of it. You had spent some of the best nights of your life there.
As you fastened the splint in place around Hoseok's arm, you told him of the night they had lit large bonfires along the beach and all the people in the area had gathered around to have a few drinks and dance. Your mind, however, wasn't on the story. A fractured arm and a rib wasn't something you should be treating at home. It didn't matter how many first aid classes you had attended, a lot of things could go wrong. But it was either this or nothing. When you had suggested taking Hoseok to the hospital, Yoongi had almost bitten your head off.
Hoseok was laying back against the pillows with his eyes clothes when you were done. He was doing better. Having regular meals and being able to wash made the improvement more evident. He didn't complain when you were treating him but you could see his eyes clenching shut when you were applying salve to the most tender spots. The stories helped. They distracted him and you could work easier. He rarely spoke but lately he had been brave enough to voice any questions he had and you had readily answered him. Progress. Progress you hoped wouldn't halt now.
"This is it for today," you said, rubbing your hands together and getting up. "In a few days you won't have any trouble moving around on your own. Not anything too strenuous, though, no running or jumping around."
"Thank you." Hoseok spoke softly, like being any louder would break an unspoken rule. Like it would get him punished.
Yoongi was sitting on the chaise lounge by the glass wall, facing away from you. The fire pits were lit all the way along the balconies, flames licking up the darkness of the night. He didn't look at you while you were there, only stealing glances when he thought you weren't looking. When his eyes met yours he would scowl and look away.
"There is something I wanted to tell you," you started. You didn't know how else to say it so you jumped in head first. "I was called to Virginia for work. I'll be leaving the day after tomorrow." Yoongi's back stiffened, his tail stilling in the air. Hoseok's eyes turned impossibly wide. "I don't know yet how long I will stay there but it will be some time before I can come back. I thought you should know because I won't be able to treat you."
Yoongi huffed. "Who will be our caretaker then?"
You paused by the door. "Do you think you need one?"
"Is this a joke?" Yoongi's fists clenched. There was no blood on them anymore.
It wasn’t a secret that hybrids were treated like pets, that included having someone babysit them when the owner was gone. You had been through it before when you had left for New York shortly after you had adopted Namjoon, Jimin and Jungkook. Everyone had expected you to ask someone to take care of them. You hadn’t. They could take care of themselves and each other just fine.
It was the same now.
“If you think you need a caretaker I can hire one for you, but I doubt you do,” you said. “I think you can survive in the Castle without me for a few days. If I’m gone for longer than a week, Helen my housekeeper will come over to do some cleaning. She usually comes over a few times a week. And the gardener comes by quite often. ”
Yoongi looked stunned but schooled his features quickly. Hoseok’s ears were pinned against his head. You closed the door behind you.
Why did your work’s timing had to always be that bad?
An earthquake. A fucking earthquake.
In the kitchen, the table was served. The mouthwatering smell of the food drifted in the air. Jimin, Namjoon and Jin were sitting around the table, Jungkook absent once again. No one had touched their plates.
“You didn’t have to wait for me,” you said taking your seat. Your plate was filled with a generous slice of meat pie and fresh salad. Your stomach grumbled. You hadn’t noticed you were that hungry.
“We wanted to wait for you.” Jimin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, it hadn’t since the day he had come running to you, begging you to take him with you to work. Jungkook spent most of his time at the atelier and he slept in Jin’s room at night. Every time he didn’t show up for meals, the light in Jimin’s eyes dimmed further.
You picked up your fork and knife and cut into the pie. The taste was heavenly, not that you had expected anything else from Jin. You told him so and delighted in the way he got flushed and tried to cover it by a terrible joke he must have come up with on the spot. While you ate, you didn’t speak much, thinking about the best way to bring up the news crawling up your throat. Namjoon squeezed your hand under the table.
When your plates were empty and Jimin was laying his head on Jin’s shoulder, you decided it was time. You put your fork aside. You started by the email, the email that had looked so inconspicuous at first because you received emails like that all the time. An email labeled “important” was often not as important as the people sending it thought it was. You couldn’t have guessed what it contained inside. You hadn’t been prepared.
Your leg was moving up and down on the metal foothold of the stool, mimicking your racing heartbeat. An earthquake had struck Virginia at night. You repeated the dry words of the email, of someone who hadn’t felt the terror of the earth shaking underneath their feet. Five point six Richter, strong enough to knock down the sets they had been building for months. You were required to be there in two days.
Jimin’s bottom lip was trembling. “How long will you stay?”
You shook your head. It was the same question you were asking and had no answers for. Even if you called someone in the company they wouldn’t have anything but speculations for you. “I hope no more than a week.”
“Isn’t it dangerous?” Jin asked. “What if there are aftershocks, or if it was a warning for a larger one coming?”
Jin’s question brought an dreadful shine to Jimin’s eyes. You had thought of that as well but your mind was troubled already as it was. Questions of your safety would take this too far. For once, you didn’t trust the company you were working with to keep you safe. You would have to do research before you left and take all the necessary precautions. You wouldn’t risk it like they had.
Namjoon wrapped his hand around his glass but didn’t bring it to his lips. “John will be with her. They will be alright.” It didn’t calm down Jimin who hugged himself tightly, dropping his head to his chest.
You couldn’t watch him suffering anymore. Getting up, you walked to him and hugged his from behind, prying his hands away so they were over yours instead. “I promise I’ll call you every day and we will text. It’s like when I was in New York and you texted me every day about what you got up to and what you were thinking. Your texts made me forget all about work and how tired I was.” Jimin sniffled but his cheeks remained dry. “It’s only a few days. They’ll be over soon. You won’t be alone here.”
Jin ruffled Jimin’s hair and the cat hybrid wrapped one arm around the oldest, pulling him into the hug. You placed a kiss on both their head, making Jin flush again. He wasn’t used to physical attention the way Jimin was but he craved it too and you were trying to make sure he felt as loved as he was.
Namjoon held Jimin while you and Jin cleaned the table. He grabbed Jimin’s thighs lifting him up and carried him to the living room. The younger laughed all the way there, telling him to put him down. His tight hold around Namjoon’s neck told him a very different thing.
But you weren’t done yet. You had one more person to tell.
The atelier’s door was half open. You knocked once on the wood before opening it all the way. The room could be described as an organized mess. Two canvases were set up in the middle of the room and three half-finished ones stood against the cabinets. The floor was covered in newspapers splattered with all the colors of the rainbow and paint tubes were lined on the tables in no particular order.
“I finished dinner, you can take it,” he said, gesturing to the tray on one of the tables with the hand not holding a brush.
“That isn’t why I’m here.” One of his ears perked up as you walked closer. The canvas he was working on now was a blend of shades of purple, orange and yellow with no definitive details. “What are you painting.”
He shrugged. “Don’t know yet.” Moving forward with no destination. You knew how that felt.
Jungkook hadn’t distanced himself just from Jimin but from everyone. He didn’t run to you to hug you and scent you when you came back like he used to do. He didn’t come up to the living room to watch TV and talk until you were too exhausted to keep your eyes open. He didn’t show you his progress on the paintings. He didn’t annoy Jin while he cooked (the oldest liked it even if complained). He didn’t come to meals. Meals were family time.
Being in the atelier now was different to any other time. It was the stifling feeling of an empty page, which used to be ecstasy. It was wrong, something missing.
“I have to leave for Virginia the day after tomorrow,” you said, ripping the band-aid off. The times you had said it today were too many. Surprised doe eyes turned to you. You explained the story once again and waited.
Jungkook seemed to be bracing himself for something. “Can you take me with you?”
“Take you with me?” you repeated, dumbfounded.
He nodded. The brush he had been holding had fallen to the floor at some point painting the newspapers in a shock of deep purple. Neither of you had noticed. “I won’t bother you. I’ll listen to everything you say. You can leave me at the hotel. I won’t cause any trouble, no one will know I’m there.” He lowered his head. “I need to be away from here.”
“Jungkook…” Your hand touched his cheek and you felt the way he clenched his jaw under the touch. “If this is-”
“Don’t,” he begged, pulling away. A pained desperation coloring his voice. “You don’t know what I did. If you did-” He took a sharp breath. “Can I come with you? Please.”
Stifling. You hadn’t considered taking any of the hybrids with you now. You had planned on inviting them along when you would go there for filming, a much more fun part of your job. This would be a busy trip and most likely far from enjoyable. It could be dangerous. But Jungkook’s eyes were begging you. He was fading away locked up in the atelier avoiding everyone.
“Okay. If you really want to, you can come with me. I’ll help you pack the essentials,” you said. Jungkook visibly relaxed. Maybe you should have pressed more. Insisted on him speaking with Jimin before you left or after you came back. But you were exhausted and a headache was brewing behind your temples.
Jungkook glanced at a canvas covered with a white sheet at a corner. You’d let it go for now.
When Jimin sneaked into your room late into the night, you didn’t say anything pulling up the covers in a silent invitation. Jimin crawled underneath and hid in your arms. Against every expectation you fell asleep. Orange bottle untouched in the bathroom cabinet.
The days leading up to your departure were every kind of hectic. Panic had taken over the studios and the atmosphere was tense in every meeting. No one wanted to admit the colossal mistake that could have cost the lives of so many people. The press was another matter entirely. The project could get a bad reputation before it was aired. It was emotionally exhausting, your brain working in overdrive, coming up with solutions to problems that may or may not arise. You had to be prepared for the worst.
At home it wasn’t much better. You had started packing for the weird end-of-spring weather in Virginia. The Raven Cycle books and a little research had provided you with enough information about what to expect. Dry, warm and with a possibility of thunderstorms. It could also get cold at night so you made sure to pack a few sweatshirts.
You helped Jungkook pack his things in a similar way. He had a habit of wearing long sleeves even when it was hot so you packed a few more sweatshirts and hoodies for him. He continued not talking much but he looked calmer now that you were leaving. All you wanted to do was hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright. But you didn’t think that would be welcome.
Jimin had timidly offered to take care of Hoseok’s injuries while you were gone. You hesitated at first. While they had been here Jimin and Yoongi hadn’t interacted much. You had expected they would talk, figure out the strange tension between them, but they had kept to themselves. You gave in in the end. The worst had come and passed and you trusted Jimin to provide the basic care Hoseok needed.
He came with you to their room before dinner and you explained to him what you were doing. Hoseok was a little more withdrawn than usual but he didn’t protest, smiling at Jimin.
You had a long talk with Namjoon in your office the night before the day you were scheduled to leave. There were a lot of things to talk about and you tried to get everything out. All your worries and all the things you thought he should know. When you were spent and his reassurances were buried deep in your chest, he brought you close to him, rubbing his face in your neck. He places light kissed on your skin, his lips trailing up until they were touching yours.
The house was silent. You opened your eyes blearily, staring at your phone. The ringing of the alarm had stopped, leaving large numbers reading the time on the screen. The blinds were closed hiding the morning from you.
There was a weight on your chest. You looked down to find tired eyes staring up at you. Jimin made a small sound in the back of his throat and nuzzled against you. His blond hair was soft against your fingers as you combed through it. A loud purr escaped him as you scratched the base of his cat ears. He held on to you tighter but the alarm was clear, you needed to get up and get ready. You had a flight to catch.
“No, don’t go,” Jimin whined.
You massaged his head down to his neck. “I have to get up. I’ll miss the plane if I’m late.”
In the shadows of the room you could see the pout on his full lips. “What if you miss it?”
“If I miss it, I’ll get in trouble. And I’d rather not get in trouble.” Jimin snuggled closer to you and you could smell the vanilla shampoo he loved. Mia had said in the early days that she had smelt vanilla and muffins on you and you had guessed that was Jimin’s scent. The shampoo must serve to accentuate his natural scent.
His cat ears lowered as his tail wrapped around your bare leg. You suppressed a shudder at the feeling of the soft fur against your skin. “I don’t want you to get in trouble.”
“I know, that’s why I have to go.” You untangled yourself from the hybrid and pressed the button for the blinds to retreat. The morning light spilled into the room. It caught on Jimin’s curls painting them golden. You had an urge to capture the moment with your camera, the way he looked so soft, hair mussed and eyes still dreaming. Carving the image in your memory, you walked to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day.
Getting dressed for a flight was different than getting dressed for any other work day. You liked to wear something comfortable that wouldn’t look too bad on camera. You weren’t the kind of celebrity to get mobbed every time you went out but sometimes paparazzi could get wind of where you were going and show up at the airport. When you were traveling for premieres or events, fans and paparazzi would fill the place.
The previous night you had set aside a pair of loose black pants and a red top. You would also take your leather jacket with you because it could get chilly on the plane.
Jimin, wearing his stripped white and blue pajamas with the little pink hearts, clung to you like a koala all the way to breakfast. He only let go of you when you placed your large black bag on the floor and took a seat at the kitchen island. Jin was finishing up with cooking, taking the pots off the stove. Breakfast was almost ready.
John would be coming later to drive you to the airport. The black SUV had turned into a sign you would be traveling. Because of the sheer volume of the luggage you always ended up with, a large car was needed to drive you to and from the airport. This time you had packed two suitcases and your handbag. You had been tempted to fill a sac-voyage as well but you quickly abandoned the thought.
Namjoon arrived, looking wide awake. The opposite of Jimin and his drooping eyes. Only one was missing. And you weren’t compromising today.
“Jungkook?” you asked. The others exchanged a glance. It told you enough. “I’m going to go get him. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Their gazes followed you as you left. They probably didn’t believe you could get him to come up. And any other day that could have been the case.
The door of the atelier was closed but you were sure Jungkook was inside. The amount of time he had been spending in there was unhealthy but you were the last person who could judge him, having spent the majority of your so called break in your office. You knocked three times before opening the door.
Jungkook was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, lost in a place that used to scream comfort. Did it still? You couldn’t feel it anymore. The canvases were all in their places and the paints and brushes had been tidied up. Sitting on the paint splattered newspapers in his completely black clothes, Jungkook looked lost.
“We’re having breakfast upstairs,” you said.
Jungkook’s eyes cleared, just enough for most of the fog to disappear. One bunny ear drooped down and he swiped it away from his face. “Can’t Jin bring it to me?”
You shook your head. “Jin isn’t bringing anything to you. You will be coming to breakfast and eat with us like you used to.”
He lowered his head, both ears falling in his face. “I can’t.”
“You very much can and you will.” You tried to be gentle but you were firm on this. “You will come up and we will all eat breakfast together. We are leaving in a few hours for the other side of the United States and I have no idea when we will be back. You aren’t doing anything here and everyone wants to see you and spend some time together.”
“Not everyone.” It was so low he probably hadn’t meant for you to hear.
“Everyone,” you said, kneeling by his side. “Everyone wants to see you.” You brushed his bangs off his face, petting his ears in the process. He didn’t relax the way he usually did, melting in your hands, but he did lean into the touch. “One breakfast. That’s all I’m asking for. You said you’d listen to me if I took you with me to Virginia.”
He couldn’t disagree with that and when you offered him your hand he took it.
Jungkook and Jimin had had a special bond. That first night you had seen it in the way Jimin cried begging you to help Jungkook, to heal him. You had seen it in the way Jungkook, beat up and having trouble breathing, was asking Jimin if he was injured, if he needed to be treated first and Jimin had cried every time Jungkook flinched but smiled and squeezed his hand to ease the pain. Nothing had changed the longer you spent with them, the way they loved and cared for each other only becoming more apparent.
Jungkook had gone to Namjoon crying, saying he had hurt Jimin but you couldn’t imagine him doing anything but loving him. Misunderstandings preyed on everyone and they were hungry for those who loved each other. They would get through it, you assured yourself. They were strong and they cared too much to continue hurting each other like this. You cared too much too, you wouldn’t let this get out of hand.
They needed a break, that’s what it was. Jungkook had been right, the trip would help put some distance between them to think clearer. You would make sure when you returned they would be ready to face whatever had happened between them.
Jimin lit up at seeing Jungkook but the light dimmed when the younger didn’t even glance his way. You sighed into your orange juice.
After breakfast Jungkook carried up his suitcase while you went to another room. Three knocks and a question of who it was. It had become routine. Hoseok smiled at you, he had been doing that more and more.
You sat down at the side of the bed, Yoongi watching you from the chaise lounge, his ears standing alert. “I’m just here to check on you one last time before I go. Jimin will take over after this.”
Hoseok was sitting with his back against the headboard. He hadn’t been able to do that without hurting the first days. “When will you be leaving?”
Touching his arm to inspect it, you said, “John will be here in about thirty minutes but the flight isn’t for another two hours. We have to be early at the airport because the process to get on the plane takes a long time. Do you want to hear about the first time I got on a plane? That’s a funny story.”
Hoseok nodded enthusiastically so you started recounting the time you were sixteen and you had to take a plane to get to the film festival that was held in France. The short film you had directed would be played there. The only problem was that you had never been on a plane before and the prospect of flying wasn’t appealing to you in the least. It just happened that the flight was far from calm.
The check up was finished halfway through the story but Hoseok touched your arm, wordlessly asking you to finish it. At your arrival in France Hoseok’s smile dissolved.
“I have to get going, John will be here soon,” you said getting up. Hoseok had met John only after you had told him of the time both of you had gotten lost in London. John had been insisting he knew what he was doing leading you deeper into the maze of streets. Because of that a few more stories the bodyguard had guest-starred in, the fox hybrid hadn’t looked as terrified as some people did at the side of the giant of a bodyguard.
“Thank you for,” he gestured to himself “this. And the stories. Thank you for the stories.”
You stopped by the door. “It was my pleasure.”
John was at the Castle right on time, parking the SUV close to the front door. He helped you carry everything to the car, which meant he carried the three suitcases while Jungkook insisted he could help. The bunny hybrid did help but only because John took pity on him and let him help with putting the suitcases in the trunk.
You lowered your sunglasses. No wind and no cloud in sight. You would have a calm trip.
You hugged all the hybrids, letting them scent you. Jimin’s eyes were growing misty and you hugged him extra hard assuring him you would be back soon. You rubbed your forehead against Jin’s and kissed his cheek in goodbye, his skin warming up under your lips. Goodbyes were hard and you’d thought you’d gotten used to them. Saying goodbye to Taylor and Zayn before tours, to your aunt the rare times you could visit her, to your friends, to the actors and the crew.
And yet your chest was tight.
Namjoon was talking with John by the car and you heard him asking John to take care of you and Jungkook. John replied he would protect you with his life. John was your bodyguard but this had been more than a job to him for a long time.
From the corner of your eye you saw Jimin approach Jungkook. He reached to touch him, hug him. Jungkook flinched. Jimin’s hand hovered in the air before going limp. He backed away, his chin dropping to his chest and jaw trembling.
You bit the inside of your cheek. A hand landed on your shoulder and you turned to find Namjoon standing next to you. You weren’t the only one who had watched the youngests’ exchange. You hid in his arms, forgetting about the world for a moment. The two hybrids who loved each other too much, the trip you had to take, production being halted, that godforsaken earthquake. He nosed along your neck, his warm breath tingling your skin.
Jungkook got into the car first, an escape, and you followed soon after, a necessity. The house got smaller and smaller behind you as the car drove away. The Castle fading in the distance. Another trip. Different reasons, a different disaster, but familiar territory. Once you used to be excited about these trips, exploring a new place and living new experiences. Where had that part of yourself gone?
But you weren’t alone this time. Jungkook was looking out of the window, his head laying against the glass. You would take him to that yogurt shop you had liked so much and you would show him the park you wanted to film at and take him to that endearing small cinema. Yeah, you would do that.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
The hotel towered over the rest of the buildings in the area. It wasn’t the same one you had stayed on your first visit last year, more grand and definitely more expensive. The company had gone all out. An admirable attempt to quell your anger, yet it continued simmering underbeath your skin. A young man was waiting for you outside, taking the suitcases from the car and leading you to the lobby.
Jungkook looked around with wide eyes and an open mouth. There was so much glass and marble, almost everything was made using these two materials.
The receptionist smiled at you wide, her teeth white and straight like her uniform. She welcomed you to the hotel and handed you two key cards, white with a gold line on front and the room numbers in cursive. Two cards.
“I was sure I’d forgotten something,” you muttered.
The receptionist’s smile faltered. “Is something not to your liking, miss?”
Two cards. One for your room and one for John’s. You had notified the company about Jungkook accompanying you but you hadn’t requested another room. Granted, you had thought they would come to the conclusion on their own. One more room would have cost them a lot, though. Easy way out. But you couldn’t exactly blame them. At hotels, owners rarely bothered to spend money on a room for their hybrids.
You held the cards like a magician ready to do a trick, showing them to John.
“Shouldn’t there be one more?” he asked.
The woman behind the desk blinked a few times. “More? Two rooms were booked in the name Y/N Y/L/N. Is there a problem?”
You sighed. “No, I guess there isn’t. Or there wasn’t supposed to be.” Jungkook watched the exchange shifting from foot to foot. His black hoodie was a size too big and he was drowning in it. “Do you have any available rooms in the same floor.”
“I’m afraid we don’t, miss. The rooms on the top floor are all booked for the night.”
“Great.” You couldn’t think of another solution, you would have to make do. “Thank you. We’ll be going now.”
“Have a nice stay,” the receptionist said.
The elevator was as luxurious as the lobby, a glass chandelier hanging from the ceiling. John had your black bag slung over his shoulder. The man with your suitcases was already gone, you would find them in your rooms when you arrived. There was a mirror to your left and leaning your back against the wall your gazed at your reflection. With your black circles hidden with concealer and carefully applied makeup, you looked just a little tired from the flight. You had brushed your hair on the plane and it fell in waves over your shoulders, curling at the tips.
Jungkook hadn’t been to a hotel before and it showed as he tried to take everything in. The lights that were on even in the afternoon, the golds and whites, the mirrors and glass and the velvet seats. It was wonderful but still it wasn’t the best hotel you had stayed at.
The elevator’s doors opened with a ding and you walked into the well-lit corridors. Doors were on either side with a sitting area at the front. You had stayed in many hotels over the years but they were nothing more than a place for rest. Sleep and shower, that’s all you did in your room. And sometimes breakfast or dinner if you didn’t feel like going out.
Stopping in front of a white door, you checked the numbers on the cards again. The two rooms were very close, only a few meters distance from each other.
Two rooms. Right.
You handed John his key card. “So, we’ve got two rooms…” Jungkook looked at you curiously. “I hope you don’t mind staying in my room with me for now. Unless you would prefer staying with John and his snoring.”
John pointed a finger at you. “Hey, I don’t snore.”
You hummed. “Sure you don’t. What I have been hearing all those years must be the pigs outside.”
Jungkook was trying to hide his laughter behind his hand and doing a poor job of it.
John dropped your bag by your feet. “Do you hear her? No respect for me. That’s what I get for listening to your every whim for years. I’ll go to my room now and snore in peace.”
You giggled as John struggled to swipe the key card right. With an ‘aha’, he managed to open the door and get inside. You swiped your own card, the door clicking open at the first try. Both of you had been doing it for years but John was more of a fan of traditional keys.
The company had booked a suite for you, which you guessed was one of the best in the hotel. The door opened to a grand living room with white velvet couches and armchairs and a 75 inch TV. You took off your sneakers before stepping on the wool carpet, it was white with veins of gold running through it.
You fell on the couch, taking off your backpack and placing it on the floor. “I’m sorry for this, I thought they would book three rooms for us.”
Jungkook looked at you from where he was still standing by the door, his hands pulling at the straps of his backpack. “Why would they book three rooms?” There was a gap here. Hybrids stayed with their owners, that was the norm. You realized that was what he had expected.
“We are three people. I thought you would want your own room. I told them you would be coming with me for the tickets but they didn’t change the rooms they had booked.” You threw your head back and closed your eyes. “Everything is going so well already.”
There a shuffling of feet from the door. “I thought… I can stay with John if he doesn’t mind or… I can…”
You opened your eyes. Jungkook was looking at the floor, his ears drooped at the sides of his head. “What are you talking about?”
Jungkook hugged himself. “I don’t want to bother you.”
And it clicked. You got up from the couch. “Oh, bunny. You aren’t bothering me. I only wanted one more room because I thought that’s what you wanted, that you wanted your own space.” You didn’t touch him, remembering him flinching and pulling away, but you stayed close to show him you were there for him.
“Oh, I-” He flushed, not knowing what to say. You had been past that stage and it was unfortunate to see the shyness and hesitance come back.
“Come on, take off your shoes,” you said, motioning for him to come further into the room. “I desperately need a shower. Then we can rest. I don’t have to do anything until late tonight. Do you want to go in first?”
Jungkook sat down gingerly on the couch. “No, no, you can go in first. I think I’ll sleep a little.”
You stopped him before he could lay down. “Here?”
Confused, he looked around at the furniture. “Should I take the smaller couch?”
“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said. “But there is a huge bed in the bedroom. If you feel uncomfortable though, I could take the couch.”
Jungkook shot up at that. “No, no way. You have work, you should sleep in the bed.” The redness creeped into his cheeks again. “I would like… I would like to share, if that’s alright.”
You gave him a smile. “That’s more than alright. Come in, then.”
You were planning to make the most out of this trip.
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Jimin had memorized everything you had said about checking and treating Hoseok’s injuries. He had memorized the pills he was taking, the salves you used and the times you checked on him during the day. Before you left, he had even looked up all the injuries Hoseok had on Google and read all the information he could find. You had told him Hoseok was well on his way to recovery and he didn’t have to worry much. But he was worried. He was very worried.
He had thought he had been ready, that he could do this. But standing outside their door, second thoughts were smothering him.
What if he did something wrong and he hurt him? What if he made everything worse? If he pressed too hard, if he used the wrong cream, if he wrapped the bandages wrong…
Seokjin would have been much better at this. He took care of them like a parent, he would have been a better choice than Jimin. But Seokjin was the one to cook all their meals, he had enough on his plate. Yoongi could have done it but… He had only glared at you and sneered something that sounded very much like a refusal.
Yoongi…
He hadn’t talked to him since the day he had chased him to the alleyway. The older didn’t leave the room he shared with Hoseok unless it was absolutely necessary. Jimin didn’t know what he had expected, but it wasn’t this… This stasis they were trapped in. He had expected someone yelling, accusing. Sharp words, that didn’t match the soft voice he had been used to. There had been none of that. Nothing at all. He wasn’t sure what he preferred.
Hoseok smiled a little at him when he walked into the room. He was sitting up in his bed with his reddish tail in his lap. Yoongi, laying in his own bed, didn’t acknowledge him but his dark eyes were burning Jimin’s skin when he wasn’t looking.
Hoseok patted the bed with the hand that wasn’t in a cast. His smile was smaller than it had been in the morning. Your absence wasn’t affecting only them. Jimin had heard you telling stories to Hoseok, you had done the same with Jungkook. But he had no stories to tell, nothing worth sharing. He hadn’t traveled the world, he didn’t have interesting and famous friends, he didn’t have a job or childhood memories by the beach.
Silence spread, only broken by his apologies every time Hoseok winced. He was holding back for his sake and it made his stomach clench. He left the room like there were hell-hounds on his heels.
The second day you were gone everyone woke up early in the morning, like all the days they had to be up early to see you before leaving for work. You might not be there but his body demanded he wake up and drag his feet upstairs for breakfast. A book was laying cover up on the table. One of the leather-bound classics you kept on the top shelves of the library. Namjoon read it at night before going to sleep.
Seokjin placed a plate of pancakes in front of Jimin. Pancakes were his favorite.
Belly full, he trudged to the second level.
“Good morning,” he greeted, coming through the door.
Hoseok’s fox ears twitched. “Good morning,” he said with a small smile. Yoongi remained silent, standing by the glass wall.
Jimin fetched the medical kit from the bathroom. Everything he would need was in there. “Did you sleep well?” He tried to make conversation. It wasn’t easy when he felt like he could erupt at any moment with Yoongi’s gaze on him. If he hurt Hoseok, Yoongi would never look at him again. Or he could do so much worse. But Jimin had already lost him years ago.
“Yeah,” Hoseok replied, fumbling with the blanket he was sitting on. “I had a weird dream. About being at the lake. There was a statue there and he was talking… It was good, though.”
There was a small Greek style statue on the half-empty shelves of the room, a Kouros you had explained to him. “It must be because of that.” Jimin motioned to the shelves. “There are pieces of ancient Greece all over the house. The first show Y/N directed was about Persephone and Hades, the Greek god of the dead. Greek mythology has a special place for her.”
“She talked to me about Greece a little but she didn’t say anything about the show,” Hoseok said.
Jimin opened the medical kit, remembering watching the episodes one after the next, hanging from every word the characters said. “The show is so good! I couldn’t stop watching it, I didn’t want to get out of the cinema room for anything. The characters were perfect, Persephone was so sweet and kind but she-” He stopped himself, cutting off his rambling. The cream in his hand was getting warm.
Hoseok sat up straighter to help his work. “But what? Why did you stop?”
Jimin startled. He could at least do this, he could speak about the show. He had watched the episodes multiple times and he had asked you so many questions, some of which you hadn’t talked your way around. Hoseok didn’t wince as much as the first time and maybe Jimin go a little carried away, but he didn’t make any mistakes and Hoseok even asked questions and talked with him.
The cat hybrid had to suppress the shivers the eyes on his back sent down his spine.
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Greek gods, fantasy, romance and mysteries. That’s what made you rich. That’s what got you this huge house and more money than anyone would ever see in their lives. The Castle. Yoongi scoffed. What a pretentious name for an even more pretentious house, but that was the way it worked.
Yoongi disliked rich people on principle. Privileged, arrogant and self-entitled were only a few of the adjectives he would use to describe them. They thought they could control anyone because they had money and money made the world go round. Money could get you everything and that’s what they wanted. Everything. In long coats and designer sunglasses looking for entertainment in the most dubious places, feeding off the struggle of the others. Watching enraptured as others fought for their lives.
All of them were the same. It didn’t matter if they were hiding behind smiling masks or surface philanthropic acts. They were the same. And you were just like them. He refused to believe anything else. Despite how hard it was getting. But every time he was slipping, he would remember the pleads and rough hands. His resolve didn’t crack.
He heard all the stories you told Hoseok. Not that he wanted to but there wasn’t a chance he would leave him alone with you. Most of them were funny and although he didn’t want to admit, there were parts the corners of his mouth had lifted up without his permission. He was grateful for those stories, they made Hoseok forget. One rare time, when you were telling him about a disaster on set that involved three spoons, a maraca and a lost script, Hoseok had giggled and Yoongi’s heart had come close to bursting out.
Every morning and every night you would have a different story for him and it made Yoongi wonder if they were all true or if you were coming up with them on the spot. Not that it mattered, it made Hoseok smile and that was enough. Yoongi had found himself waiting for the times you would come into their room and start talking. You had a way with words.
And now you were gone, leaving them alone in the house, alone with no one watching over them like a guard dog (except that damned wolf hybrid, but that was another case entirely). There were a few things he knew about the world and one of them was that hybrids weren’t left alone in a house that cost more than his handlers would make in their whole lives. He didn’t like surprises and he hated how full of them you were.
Jimin had been the one to take over and you must have been somewhere in Virginia laughing at Yoongi’s expense. The younger looked good, his cheeks were full and there was a certain glow on his soft skin. Jimin had always looked beautiful but now he was ethereal. He couldn’t keep his eyes away.
Hoseok pressed a few buttons on the TV remote and groaned. After Jimin’s excitement about the show in the morning, he had decided he would watch the show. Jimin had showed him how to put it on but Hoseok was having some trouble.
“Give that to me,” Yoongi grumbled, taking the remote. He searched for the title among the options (there were too many of them).
Hoseok pointed at one of the pictures. “That’s it! That’s it! “Land of the Gods”.”
A girl wearing a flower crown was gazing at him from the screen. He clicked on the picture and the synopsis and the episode list appeared. “Are you seriously going to watch that?”
“It must be good if Jimin was so excited about it. He was so excited he got me excited.” A smile stretched his lips. Yoongi was weak.
“What do you know about Greek mythology?”
Hoseok shrugged. “Not much but I don’t think I need to. The show has to be good if it got her where she is now. I’m sure she must have been great at her job to be this successful.”
If anything, there was no doubt you were successful. He could see it everywhere he looked. One night he had been watching the news, Hoseok long asleep, and they had talked about your newest project set to start filming in May. One of the greatest directors of our generation, they had called you, predicting high ratings and large audiences. But success didn’t necessarily mean talent and Yoongi told himself he didn’t care enough to see if you had it.
Contemplating, he sat on the bed by Hoseok’s side. “We should discuss when we are leaving.”
Hoseok’s eyes widened, his tail fluffing up. “Leaving?”
“Yeah, leaving. You’re better, aren’t you? We should be gone before she comes back.” Yoongi threw the remote on the bed.
“Oh.” Hoseok’s fox ears lowered. “I wanted to thank her, it feels wrong to leave like this.”
Yoongi sighed. He could understand Hoseok, he didn’t want to leave either. He wasn’t stupid. Having a warm meal three times a day was more than they could dream of in the streets. It was more than they could dream of when they had a roof over their heads and murky water on their tongues. These few days Yoongi had eaten and slept more than he had in three years but it had to end. It was nothing more than a polished dream. He didn’t want your pity and he wouldn’t have accepted to come here if it hadn’t been for Hoseok.
“I think she would appreciate us leaving more than a thank you,” Yoongi said. “We don’t know how long she will be gone and we have already overstayed our welcome.”
“We… yeah.” Hoseok gave in. “But you should talk to Jimin before we go.” Yoongi stiffened. “I have seen the way you look at him, you know. I heard you that first day. He is the only reason we are here now. I can connect the dots. I don’t ask you about your past because I know it hurts you but I ask you this. Talk to him before we go. Jimin… Jimin looks like a part of your past that shouldn’t hurt this much.”
Yoongi clenched his jaw. Because Jimin was the most painful part of his past. Everything that had happened to him, everything he had been through didn’t hold anything to the pain he felt when thinking about Jimin and his delicate features. Nothing hurt more than the images of that night ingrained in his brain. He didn’t deserve to forget, he didn’t even try.
“I can’t talk to him.”
Hoseok scooted closer and Yoongi reached to steady him. The fox hybrid would laugh at him, he had the all clear to move on his own and he didn’t need help with something as simple as this, but he didn’t push him away. “Why not?
“I just can’t.” Hoseok raised his eyebrows at him. “Hobi, just let it go. Jimin wouldn’t want to talk to me, there is too much you don’t know.”
Hoseok turned his head away. “Yes, because you don’t tell me.”
“Hobi…” Yoongi placed a hand on his shoulder, rubbing comforting circles, there were no bruises there. “What happened, it’s better if you don’t know. I don’t want any more people being haunted by what I did.”
Hoseok’s eyes softened, taking Yoongi’s hands in his own. Every touch from Hoseok was like a brush with the sun. “If you think anything you say could change my opinion of you, you don’t know me at all. You saved me, Yoongi. You saved me when I thought I was done for, when I thought I wouldn’t live to see another day. If you weren’t there, if I didn’t have you…” A shaky breath fell past his lips. He squeezed Yoongi’s hands in his and Yoongi squeezed back. “I would have never gotten out without you. You are all I have.”
Yoongi touched Hoseok’s cheek, nosing against his neck and breathing in the scent of cinnamon. “And you’re all I have.”
The first episode of “Land of the Gods” played as Yoongi laid next to Hoseok with the younger’s head on his chest.
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The workers kept looking at you like children who had been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar and it wasn’t even their fault. They had been following instructions and using the materials the company had sent. The one who had decided to forgo the safety measures because they were too expensive had yet to admit to anything, but a storm was brewing and you would watch until the end. They could say whatever they wanted about you but no one’s life was at risk on your watch.
You hadn’t been alone in the sentiment, most of your co-workers siding with you and calling meetings after meetings on the matter. You had taken it up to yourself to send a lengthy email to the president and were waiting for a reply that wouldn’t take long to come.
In the meantime, you were stuck with damage control. The meticulously designed sets had turned into ruins and rubble. A lot of expensive equipment had been destroyed and the replacements had yet to arrive. The first night you had a short meeting at a building the company was renting and then drove to the set to survey the damage. You had gritted your teeth at the sight of broken blocks like legos. There was nothing more to see.
You came back with heavy limbs and dust on your jeans. The air-conditioning was on and Jungkook was sitting on the couch watching a superhero movie. It wasn’t one you recognized, an older one than those you usually watched. You changed into your pajamas after taking a shower for the third time in a day (your skin barrier was set to be destroyed soon) and joined him in the living room. Neither of you had had dinner so you ordered food from the first place you found on the web. The delivery was fast and you settled on the couch, eating pizza and watching an old Samuel L. Jackson film.
Fortunately, the earthquake hadn’t caused any major disasters but you had heard that a couple of people had been injured. The most damage in the area had been to the TV show sets. That was alright, you could work on that.
Your schedule wasn’t much different from usual. You woke up early, the sun peaking over the horizon and showering the room in its morning glow through the thin curtains. Reaching for your phone, you turned off the alarm before it could start ringing. You woke up earlier but you scheduled it every night regardless of that. Jungkook blinked his eyes open as soon as you moved a little, he was used to waking up early too.
At breakfast it was only the two of you, John and the hotel staff. It was way too early for anyone else. Jungkook didn’t leave the hotel and you spent most of the day outside. The first days were the most crucial and therefore the most busy. Go there, take this, fill this out, talk to him/her. An endless task list. And there were a lot of things you had to figure out yourself.
“You should come with me today,” you said, digging your spoon into the bowl of yogurt. You ate a generous breakfast to propel through the morning.
“T-to work?” Jungkook stuttered, his hand loosening around the spoon. He was eating pancakes with maple syrup and you had a feeling about who he was thinking of.
You rolled the spoon between your fingers. “Well, you don’t have to come to work with me. We could drop you off at a coffee shop or a park if you want to. You can’t stay cooped up in the hotel room all day.”
John nodded in agreement. “I think it’s a good idea. You need some fresh air, staying in three rooms can’t be good for you.”
Jungkook dropped his head to hide his flushed cheeks. “I’m alright here, you don’t have to worry about me. Really.”
“But that’s what I’ll do at work if you stay in here for one more day,” you said. “You can go anywhere, there is a whole city to explore. And if I have any breaks I can call and I’ll come find you.”
Jungkook looked down at the pancakes. “I don’t think I should be out alone.”
“Of course you can. You can wear a collar and no one will say anything. We packed a few didn’t-?” Wearing a collar would protect him from the hybrid services, especially with your name and number engraved in the back of a charm. But you realized it wasn’t hybrid services he was afraid of. A hybrid alone in the streets could be an easy target, Jimin and Jungkook had been together that night and still… But it was broad daylight. “John could come with you,” you offered.
“No, no, he should be with you,” Jungkook protested weakly.
You exchanged a look with John, after years you were perfect at reading each other. “I actually think John would have a much better time with you. The only thing he does with me is follow me around and wait for the day to end. And it’s not like I’m in any danger there, I’m surrounded by a lot of people and some of the places have security so…”
“Or she’s trying to get rid of me,” John said, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Not that I’m complaining, waiting outside of those meetings gets very boring very quickly. Who will drive you?”
“It won’t be hard to find someone. I’ll catch a ride with Will, he has plenty of space in his car.” Will was the assistant director and he had been dragged to Virginia with you. When you worked it was rare to find one without the other. He had been with you for a few years and he was your right hand on set, he could get everything you asked done in a matter of seconds and often better than you could have done them yourself.
Satisfied, John finished his sandwich. “It’s settled then, I’ll go with the guy while you run around like a mad woman.”
“It isn’t so much running around today,” you mumbled. In comparison to other days, that was.
Jungkook picked up his fork again, his nose twitching. “Thank you, but I really don’t know where to go.”
You smiled. “That’s the most exciting part. There are so many places you can choose from. John knows the area a little, he knows a few places worth visiting.” John saluted with two fingers on his temple. “Is there something you want to do?”
Jungkook shrugged. “The park maybe? I would like to walk a little if that’s alright.”
“Fine by me,” John said. “Let’s reconnect with Mother Nature a little.”
You shook your head. “As if the sets aren’t in the middle of nowhere. They’re like thirty to forty minutes from the city, I spend most of my day in a car.”
“Stop complaining. It’s partly your fault,” John reminded you, which only caused you to complain more.
Jungkook let out a cute giggle at your bickering. He looked small in his oversized hoodie, it was a gray one this time with design of black swirls interwining and forming a heart. He would have to change before going out. He would melt otherwise.
They dropped you off at the set, having spent most of the thirty minute drive (John was a fast driver, always following the speed limit though) listening to music and talking about whatever came to mind. Jungkook had insisted on coming with when John dropped you off instead of waiting at the hotel for John to come back. He didn’t care that the drive would be more than an hour for him. You stepped out of the car, adjusted your backpack with all the papers and files inside and sent flying kisses to them while John rolled his eyes.
It was one of the good days, everyone was in a relatively good mood, they were listening to you and the conversations about the problems you were facing rolled smoothly. Will had taken over some of the most tiring tasks ignoring your protests so you were left to do most of the talking and the moral support part.
They worked quickly but there was no doubt that the sets wouldn’t be ready for filming to start on the initial date you had set, you would have to rely more on the sets in Los Angeles and film some scenes earlier than planned. Time was precious and you couldn’t waste it sitting around doing nothing.
Will was more than happy to give you a ride back to the city, you had many things to discuss on the way. You hadn’t been at this park before. It wasn’t the one you were considering for filming but it was just as nice. John had texted you where they were and you had typed the address in Will’s GPS. It was way past lunch and you wondered if they hadn’t left the park since the morning. That was a lot of hours spent in a park.
You followed the cobblestone path, tall trees framing the way adorned with green leaves and tiny flowers. Sending a quick message to John asking him about more specific directions, you stopped at a bridge arching over a small river and rested your elbows on the railing waiting for the reply.
You missed home in a way you hadn’t before. Home hadn’t always been Los Angeles, it had taken a long time for you to see it that way. It had been your hometown at first and that would always remain a part of you but it had been years since you had stayed there for more than two weeks. Home had been a suitcase and a vague idea of belonging for the most of your adult life. Being at a new place every few months, often more than that, you traveled and met people, you explored new places and learnt their secrets and culture. Los Angeles was just the base you returned to before you were gone again.
And then you had met Taylor and Zayn and suddenly you had a reason to come back other than necessity. They had become your closest friends and you held a new appreciation for the city because that’s where you spent time with them, strolling through the streets and going to the beach or staying inside watching movies or baking.
And through Zayn you had met Jacob and Los Angeles became more and more to you. The two of you had decided to build your life there together. That was gone now but the City of Angels had sneaked into your heart and made a home for itself there. Yet you hadn’t missed it like this before.
Texts and calls were fine for some time but not nearly enough. Jungkook was withdrawn while you talked to the other hybrids and Jimin’s voice got smaller and smaller every time the youngest refused to speak with him until he stopped trying. Namjoon and Jin tried to comfort him but the only person who could help was the one shutting him out. On top of that, Jimin tended to Hoseok’s wounds, the two hybrids were still at the Castle and you hoped they wouldn’t leave until you got back. You wanted to check in with Hoseok one more time before they were gone, back to the streets.
The streets… Those damn streets. Where Hoseok had been beat up, where Jimin and Jungkook had been attacked, where they didn’t know which day would be their last, starving or being beaten to death. You had done all you could, when they refused any more help, but it wasn’t enough. It couldn’t be enough.
A whistle made you turn around.
“Are you going to stand there all day?” John called to you.
“Me?” you called back. “How long have you been here? Did you eat lunch?”
“We went to a restaurant nearby, John ordered the best from the menu. I told him to wait for you but he said you would be late,” Jungkook said.
You ruffled his hair and he shuffled closer to you. “Late… I’m not late, I didn’t say I would be back for lunch.”
Jungkook chuckled. “When are you back for lunch?”
You gasped. “You have been spending too much time with John. He’s corrupting you!”
On the other side of the bridge, the path opened up to a large expanse of grass with a few trees sprinkled in. Jungkook had his sketchpad with him and sat down against a tree with pieces of black charcoal, a method he had been experimenting with.
Next to him, you pulled out a notebook from your backpack, it was your personal space where you could write anything and everything. Drawing faint thick lines on the paper, Jungkook told you excitedly about his day with John, who was sitting at a bench talking on the phone with his family.
A shine you hadn’t seen in a while was back in Jungkook’s eyes. You took photos and sent them to the hybrids at home and rolled around in the grass. He pointed at the clouds and what each of them looked like. There was turtle, an elephant and a vase, although you insisted it looked more like an Egyptian cat.
Jungkook came with you to work later and although he was shy and stayed away from everyone else, trailing behind you like a lost puppy, he was smiling. Fascinated, he listened to your conversations about the show and the sets and admired the designs. Your co-workers cooed at the cute bunny hybrid and he flushed hiding behind you.
When the day was over and you were back at the hotel, you realized it was the most fun you’d had since coming to Virginia. Freshly showered with his wet hair sticking to his forehead, Jungkook slipped into the bed next to you.
“Did you have a good time?” you asked. In the quiet of the night it felt wrong for your voice to be louder than a whisper. “You can be honest with me. I won’t take it personally.”
A small smile simmered on Jungkook’s lips as he turned on his side to look at you. In the lights of the city coming through the window, his chocolate brown eyes seemed black. “I had the best of times. Thank you.”
“You don’t have to thank me. It was nice having you there, it was… different. A good different. You should come again tomorrow, to the sets outside the city this time.”
“I would like that,” he whispered.
“Okay.”
“Okay,” Jungkook repeated in a breath.
It would be nice to have him with you. He wasn’t distracting you, on the contrary you were more focused because you knew he was there watching you, you wanted to show him the best of you. This was far from the most exciting part of the process of making a film but it was necessary. Well, it wouldn’t have been necessary if someone hadn’t decided to purposely forget all about the safety measures but you had already dedicated too much of your energy being angry about it.
Once the actual filming had started you would take Jungkook with you and show him the behind the scenes of how a TV show was made. If he was fascinated with this part then he would love filming. The actors were incredible and they had found their connections to the characters, channeling them at the table readings, it would be even better when they were in the costumes on set.
“I liked it,” Jungkook said. “I really liked seeing you work.”
You smiled at the bunny. “You used to see me work every day at the Castle.”
“But it wasn’t the same.” Jungkook laid his head on his hand. “You looked different there,” he said. “You looked powerful, like you could do anything. Everyone looked at you like you had all the answers.”
“It was a good day, I guess. It isn’t always like that. I might look confident and like I have everything under control all the time but that’s far from the truth.”
For all of your fame and the praise you received, you did make mistakes, you got stuck and felt helpless against some problems. Not everyone listened to you and you got into arguments with the executive producers sometimes. And you weren’t always the one who was right.
“Looking confident is half of the job, even when you don’t feel like it. It’s one of those situations where ‘fake it till you make it’ is a requirement. When you want to be heard you have to look and act like you are sure of what you’re doing, especially when you are a young woman at an important position. If you don’t, people begin to doubt you and if they doubt you, they will begin to talk over you and disregard your opinions. That was the first lesson I learnt on this job.”
At seventeen, you had been in charge of directing “Land of the Gods” and it wasn’t all smooth sailing, much less at the beginning. You were young, too young for most of them. You couldn’t direct such a project they said. They questioned your every move and decision, every correction you made and everything you said to the actors during a scene. They didn’t take you seriously until halfway through filming and even then they didn’t hesitate to question your authority. A constant battle of wills.
But it had gotten you here. You couldn’t complain.
“You’ve done so many things,” Jungkook said as if in awe. “All those shows and movies. And they are all so good. You are so talented. I could have never achieved what you have even if I wasn’t…” He left the sentence hanging.
You adjusted your position, laying on your forearm. “I don’t believe that, I think you would be marvelous at whatever you did. You have the dedication and that’s half of the job done. About me…” You let out a small chuckle. “I was very young when I started, I’m still young considering my profession, and I had so many ideas. I still have so many of them.” Or you used to, before the buzz in your brain became just noise. “And I don’t want to wait so long the industry gets tired of me, I have to take advantage of the light as long as it’s on me.”
“I don’t think they can get tired of you, not when your movies and shows are… like that. I couldn’t get tired of them,” Jungkook said. “It’s just- I’m not-” Frustrated, he cut himself off. “You work too much. I’m just… When was the last time you had a break? An actual break without working in any form.”
You opened your mouth to answer and closed it again. It certainly wasn’t this year and it wasn’t last year either. When you had taken a break to buy and decorate the house, you had been answering calls about work when you had been choosing the paints for the walls and writing scripts while you discussed floor plans. Break for you wasn’t a time you didn’t work but rather a time they couldn’t call you to the offices or the set.
“It’s been a while,” you said in the end. “I’ve got a lot of things going on, I don’t really have the time to take a break. I can’t leave them hanging, they rely on me.”
“Maybe they shouldn’t. Not so much.”
But that’s how it has always been for as long as you could remember. You were involved in every single part of the process, in every decision, from the scripts, to casting, to the set and costume design, to the actual filming, the post-production and the editing. Supervising and making sure that everything was right. That was your charm, that was one of the reasons you were one of the most sought-after directors in Hollywood. Each project was a part of yourself. If you let those responsibilities go, what would that mean for you? What would they say about you?
The air-conditioning made a small sound as the room reached the desired temperature. The setting wasn’t too low, a pleasant coolness replacing the stifling heat. The thick walls of the hotel kept the heat of the day trapped inside, something that would be very beneficial in winter but a lot less so in spring nearing summer.
“Anyway, I think we’ll be done in a few days,” you said. “We’ll probably be home by the end of the week. The new plans have been drawn and there is only one more meeting I have to attend and that’s more for appearances’ sake than anything else. The rest is up to the crew here.”
Jungkook’s smile wavered. “So soon? Don’t you have any more work? The people here seemed to need you.”
“They don’t need me, there is nothing more I can offer them. My place right now is in Los Angeles, that’s where they need me.” You nudged his foot with yours, your knees were close enough to touch every time you moved. “But that’s not what you’re nervous about, is it?”
Jungkook shook his head, hiding half of his face in the pillow. “I don’t want to go back.”
“Kookie…” You nudged his foot again until your legs were intertwined underneath the thin sheets. “Staying here won’t help anyone. You have to talk to him.”
Jungkook closed his eyes as if the conversation pained him. “He shouldn’t want to talk to me.”
“But he does. You know he has been asking for you,” you said.
“He stopped.”
“Because you never replied. Doing this, pulling away and ignoring him, you’re hurting him more than whatever you feel guilty for. You didn’t see how sad he was every time you didn’t show up for a meal or when he called for you and you ignored him. You’re hurting him and I know that isn’t what you want so why do you keep doing it?”
A sob clawed out of Jungkook’s throat and he tried to muffle it with his fist. Your eyes widened at the sound, instinctively pulling the younger boy into your arms. He didn’t fight you, holding on to you like you were the only thing keeping his afloat, hiding his face in your neck as the sobs he couldn’t suppress fell from his lips.
“What… What I did to him was h-horibble. I-I took adva-advantage of him,” Jungkook chocked out as his tears dampened your skin. “And I know, I know he’s going to forgive me. But I don’t want him to. He shouldn’t. He shouldn’t forgive-” A sob cut him off. “I don’t deserve forgiveness.”
You run your hands through his hair, scratching gently at the base of his bunny ears, something that used to calm him down. “Baby… You should let him have that choice, you can’t take it away from him.”
“I can’t forgive myself,” he muttered, desperation and heartbreak seeping into his voice like water through the cracks of a dam until it breaks.
“If Jimin can forgive you then you can work towards forgiving yourself. All I know is that you love each other too much to continue like this.”
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
It was the fifth day you were gone. Seokjin had been keeping track, the equivalent of another line engraved on the wall of a cell. He had been going to sleep and waking up alone in a bed that felt too large for one person. He had added more blankets and stuffed animals decorating embellishing his nest but it did nothing for the feeling of emptiness covering it like a veil.
You called every day and texted them religiously, it was more than he could have expected but much less than what he craved. Jungkook sent photos of the hotel suite and of every place he visited with short captions. Seokjin smiled as his heart constricted.
It was the fifth day you were gone and he was sitting at the large table in the back garden, drinking tea at the time he would have been bringing yours before you had to go back to work. Jin didn’t consider himself a clingy person. He was loyal and protective of the people he loved, he obeyed his past owners and he took care of them. But this was new. It had been five days, the number didn’t change but Jin felt like it had been much longer than that. When his past owners left it wasn’t for long, less than two weeks, he didn’t have the time to miss them. He hadn’t missed them. Two weeks. Five days.
Jungkook would be nagging at him by now, tugging his arm or foot or whatever part of him he could get and if Jin didn’t give in the bunny hybrid would sprawl himself next to the older with his head in his lap. Despite Seokjin warnings about getting splashed with tea or coffee in the face, Jungkook stayed there.
If you were back from work, a rare occurrence, you would insist you all spent that time together. Like a family.
Family. Such a peculiar word. It was one of those words Seokjin couldn’t grasp the real meaning of. He was a hybrid, he didn’t have parents, the one who had given birth to him had delivered him to the scientists earning a large amount of money for her services. His first owners had trained him harsher than a pet and treated him like a servant or a living piece of decor. It didn’t matter if he’d thought of them as his family to feel better for himself, they owned him and they didn’t let him forget.
He didn’t know what having a family felt like. But he guessed it felt a lot like the mornings before you left for work and Jungkook was bickering with Jimin about how much he could eat while Namjoon was smirking into his coffee.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
Seokjin startled, the mug trembling dangerously in his hands. Another hand enveloped his to steady it. “How do you do that? I almost had a heart attack.”
Namjoon smiled sheepishly. “You aren’t the first one to say that, about the heart attack. I’ll try to make more noise next time.”
There was only a tiny bit of tea left at the bottom of the mug so Seokjin placed it on the table to avoid any more surprises that could threaten its survival. “Are you going somewhere?” he asked, looking at the black backpack Namjoon was wearing.
“I’m going for a walk in the forest. Would you like to join me?”
“Like this?” he gestured to his casual attire.
“Maybe you should wear different shoes,” he said referring to the slippers he was wearing.
Seokjin was tempted to say no, sugar gliders might be native to forests but he didn’t have the same ease among trees. But he was tired of being in his own company and something inside him was screaming to go and be with his pack. After all, it was impossible to not give into Namjoon’s dimples.
“Okay, I’ll come with you. Just don’t lead us so far away we won’t be able to come back.”
Namjoon’s smile widened as Jin left to change his shoes. His sneakers were in a box under his bed. He had worn them only once because he preferred wearing his slippers in the house or the gardens. These sneakers were the ones he had on when you had gone to the lake before you had to go back to work and be away for most of the day.
The wolf hybrid was waiting in the back garden for him by the curtain of vines with the purple blooms. The mug was nowhere in sight.
“Ready?” Namjoon asked him.
“Ready,” Seokjin said, not paying any mind to the fluttering in his stomach.
Namjoon pulled the curtain of vines aside, the path stretching ahead. The forest was alive in spring, trees green and tall, creating shade for the small creatures roaming around to hide from the sun. And when a few sun-rays slipped through the spaces between the branches and the leaves, they looked like a touch from the gods.
Namjoon navigated the forest with practiced ease and Seokjin had a feeling the wolf hybrid knew exactly where they were going. He just hoped Jimin wouldn’t look for them while they were gone, but knowing Namjoon he had probably already told Jimin. Or Jimin could call them. Seokjin wasn’t used to having his own phone and often he forgot he had the device.
Staying close to Namjoon, he kept his eyes on the ground. A poor attempt to keep his tripping to the minimal. But the forest was conspiring against him. Roots, stones, sticks, everything he could trip over was in his path.
“Where are we going?” he asked.
Namjoon stopped, turning to look at him. He smirked. “It’s a surprise.”
“No, I prefer no surprises,” Jin said. Rock. He stepped over it, avoiding a possible humiliating fall. “Tell me where we’re going. Is it far?”
“Not too far.” Not too far for Namjoon could be totally different from Seokjin’s idea of not too far. “I swear to you we aren’t getting lost today. I know this part of the forest like the back of hand and I have a good sense of direction. See?” He pointed to the direction of a large tree on his right. “That’s north,” he pointed to the opposite direction, “and that-”
Before he could finish, Seokjin had tripped over a protruding root. He hadn’t seen it, being too focused on Namjoon. He let a shriek as he tumbled to the ground, scratching his hands as they came in contact with the ground fist.
Namjoon called his name but he hadn’t been fast enough. He grasped Seokjin’s elbows pulling him up so he was sitting instead of laying face down on the dirt.
“Are you alright?” Namjoon asked, kneeling next to him, and Seokjin felt heat travel to his face and his chest tightening. He had an urge to flee and forget that had happened. Namjoon didn’t give him the chance though. He took his hands in his, turning them over and inspecting the damage. Dirt was clinging on the flesh and Namjoon blew on them to make some it go away. “We need to clean this.” He pulled out a water bottle from his backpack and poured water on his hands. It did sting a little but Seokjin was used to much worse than this.
Thin lines were etched on his palm, none of them bleeding. His hands had taken most of the burnt of the fall. The pride he had been piecing back together hurt more than his body did.
“We should go back,” Namjoon said, letting his hands go. Seokjin mourned the loss then reprimanded himself for it. “Maybe coming here wasn’t a good idea.”
“I’m fine,” he said. He didn’t like the frown on Namjoon’s face. “We don’t have to go back. I don’t want to go back.” He cleared his throat. His face, neck and ears felt impossibly hot.
Namjoon regarded him with careful eyes. “Are you sure? Does it hurt anywhere?”
“Really, I’m fine,” he repeated. He put one hand on the ground to steady himself and get back on his feet. It didn’t work very well because as soon as Namjoon saw him moving he was helping him up supporting most of his weight. “It wasn’t painful, more embarrassing than anything else,” Seokjin muttered. Despite the low tone, Namjoon heard him and his face smoothed. “Let’s go. We will never get to that place you want before nightfall at this rate.”
Namjoon chuckled shaking his head. “If you say so.” Seokjin expected him to start walking but instead he laced their fingers together. “Is this okay? I don’t want you falling again. If you trip again I’ll keep you up or at least we’ll fall together.”
Seokjin huffed out a laugh, lightheaded. Namjoon wasn’t distant but he wasn’t open with his affection like Jimin or Jungkook or even you and feeling his hand in his had ignited something inside him he was struggling to bury.
They held hands all the way to the secret destination. Seokjin tripped a couple more times, the rocks and the roots were still there and Namjoon was too distracting, but he kept his balance. Namjoon held on his hand tighter whenever he lost his footing and he allowed himself to consider it for a moment before banishing the idea.
The walk wasn’t too long and as the trees thinned out a little, a few large rocks emerged from the ground. They had climbed higher than the level of the house, the forest and the lake stretching under them. On the side the Castle peeked between the trees and the road leading to the city.
Namjoon helped him up the rock while he complained for the sake of it. They sat down to rest and Namjoon offered him the bottle of water he had used before, plenty of water was left inside. Seokjin insisted they shared it, he had already used half of it on him anyway.
“You like being outside so much, you have walked through most of the forest. You go on walks every day. Why don’t you go out with Y/N? Or around the neighborhood?” he asked. Namjoon wasn’t someone who could be contained in a house, he needed to be outside, and the forest looked too small for him.
Namjoon crossed his hands over his bent knee. “Being in the forest is easier. I can’t explain it but it’s familiar territory. Outside the forest, outside the house, that’s different. I know the streets of Los Angeles, I’ve spent more time on them than I would have liked. And now things are different but those streets are the same. I don’t think I’m ready to go back there alone.”
Seokjin’s heart constricted at the reminder of what the three hybrids he held so dearly had been through. He was spoiled, he couldn’t have survived a life in the streets. But if he was with them… If he was with them maybe it would would have been worth it.
It was a dangerous world for lone hybrids, people were eager to take advantage of them and hybrid services were always lurking in large cities like Los Angeles. Going outside alone could be an invitation for harassment from a few sick people who thought they were entitled to hybrids’ lives because humans created them, who thought they were lesser. Seokjin hadn’t been allowed to be alone outside, his owners believed it was indecent and disrespectful for hybrids to walk alone or stay alone.
“Do you want to go outside in the city?” Namjoon asked.
Seokjin hugged his knees. “I wouldn’t know where to go or what to do. I’ve never been out alone.”
Namjoon nodded. “That’s alright. It was nice being out for Spring Cleaning, I saw the city in a different light.”
Seokjin smiled, for him it hadn’t been only the city he had seen in a different light. “I would like to go out one day.”
“I would like that too,” Namjoon said softly.
But Seokjin didn’t think of going alone. He thought of being with Namjoon holding his hand so they wouldn’t lose each other or an excited Jungkook hopping around with Jimin chasing him.
Namjoon’s phone beeped with a message and he pulled it out of his backpack to read it. A smile spread on his face at whatever he was seeing. Seokjin wanted to lean closer and look at what was making him smile but he held himself back. There were only three people it could be from.
“Jungkook is playing her assistant,” Namjoon said, turning the screen so Seokjin could take a look at the photo. Jungkook was looking to the side, probably at someone talking to him, carrying two folders and a few loose papers. Seokjin’s heart softened at the sight, Jungkook looked content there. Excited and a little confused.
Seokjin took the phone in his hands. “I’m sure he insisted on carrying them for her. Doesn’t she have an assistant?”
Namjoon nodded. “Yeah, Will. But I’m not sure he’s that kind of assistant.”
“Maybe she should keep Jungkook on set, he could carry anything she wanted,” he joked. Their bunny could pick up all of them without getting tired, Seokjin had been his victim enough times to know that.
Jungkook had been doing better, his messages were more frequent and he talked more on the phone. He had been doing better but Seokjin was missing him a lot. But he couldn’t be selfish with this, going away had been good for him and if it hurt a little that he needed to be away from them, Seokjin didn’t utter a word. He had heard him sniffling at night, covering his mouth to muffle the sounds. Seokjin didn’t know how to comfort him so he just held him tighter.
Namjoon sighed, taking his phone back and hiding it in the backpack. He sighed. “Jimin is hiding away again. He barely spoke to me before locking himself in the cinema room. I don’t understand what is going on between them. Jungkook had to travel to the other side of the States to get away. I can’t get a word about what happened from either of them. Jungkook says he did something horrible to him and Jimin doesn’t want to say anything about it. And every time Jungkook pulls back from him I can see how much it hurts them both and I can’t do anything about it.”
“They don’t want us to do anything about it but they need us next to them,” Seokjin said, looking ahead at the sun slowly descending in the sky.
Namjoon let the silence stretch before speaking, “I’m grateful you’re with us, that you chose to stay. I don’t like to think about how it would have been without you.”
Seokjin turned his head away. “I didn’t do anything special. I am not that important.”
A hand touched his cheek, leading him gently until he was face to face with Namjoon looking into his hazel, almost golden, eyes. “Listen to me when I say this; you are important to us. You are pack and your place is with us here. I’ll be honest, I was weary at first but you fit right in like you were always meant to be with us. You belong with us and we’ll never let you go or get tired of you. You give so much without even realizing it.” His thumb rubbed small circles on his skin leaving burning trails behind. A heavy cloud had covered everything around him and all he could see was hazel eyes. “All I ask you is to let us take care of you, too.”
And before his doubts could stop him he surged forward. Namjoon caught him in his arms, cradling the oldest’s neck as he hid his face in his neck breathing in his scent. Time was meaningless there.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
You were taking a short break. John had delivered your second cup of coffee for the day and a smoothie for Jungkook who disliked the bitter taste of coffee with passion. It was a mostly practical day that didn’t require a lot of moving around. You had been meeting up with people since the crack of dawn and discussing the best ways to cover up the disaster in a way that wouldn’t turn the public against the show or the studios. So far, you had been holding off any reporters from including the overlooked safety measures when publishing the news about the collapsed sets.
After being inside all day, you had decided to take a stroll around the block. Jungkook was walking next to you sipping his smoothie. He was wearing a simple black chocker with a silver charm.
He was telling you about a video he had seen on YouTube when your phone started ringing. Your nickname for Taylor was displayed across the screen with a photo of her pulling out a tray of cookies from the over.
“Hey, Tay,” you said.
“I called at the right time, didn’t I?”
“Just the perfect time, I have around twenty minutes before I have to go back. Work has been kicking my ass.”
Taylor laughed. “I’m sure you’ve been kicking its ass too. And better.”
You had told her around what time you would be taking your break. You hadn’t talked on the phone since coming to Virginia and you had missed her voice.
You stopped at a bench and Jungkook pulled out his phone. You felt a little bad for talking on the phone when it was the two of you but you had really missed Taylor and it wouldn’t take long anyway. She had been busy with Astrid, getting to know her better and helping her adapt to the new environment. When you had visited the hybrid had looked enamored with Taylor, you knew your friend would be amazing at taking care of a hybrid.
The conversation soon turned to you but you didn’t have much to share. Work was the same regardless the disaster but Taylor was more interested in other things.
“It has been almost a year since you and Jacob broke up. Don’t you have your sight on anyone? Any flirts? It isn’t like you lost the one and only,” she said.
Jacob had been far from the one and only. And when she asked, your mind went to dangerous places.
“Just because you found your man doesn’t mean we are all that lucky,” you said. “And how am I supposed to find anyone? I’m too busy.” From the corner of your eye you saw Jungkook turning to look at you with an unreadable expression.
Taylor continued, “Aren’t there any cute boys on set? At work? There has to be someone. Don’t bury yourself in work and forget to live. I’m not saying you need a man to be happy or complete, but don’t you miss going on dates? Getting to know someone like that?”
The answer came to you unbidden but it wasn’t something you were ready to say. “Maybe after the TV show, for now I really have to focus. After that is done and I don’t have to worry about anymore earthquakes, I’ll see where I’ll end up.”
You knew Taylor cared for you and she worried about how deep you threw yourself into work. Maybe there was also a small part that was still uncertain about the way you and Jacob had broken off things and the way you had avoided the topic like the plague for the first months. Like you and Jacob had never happened. But looking at boys and dating had been the last thing on your mind.
Ending the call with Taylor promising to text her when you got off work, you patted the small of Jungkook’s back. It was time to walk back. The smoothie was half-finished, the way it had been before, like he hadn’t taken a sip since sitting down.
You asked him if there was something wrong but he replied that everything was alright. It didn’t look like that was the case. He stayed close to you all day, more clingy than he had been the whole time you had been in Virginia, wary of the men who talked to you.
♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩ ♩♪♩♬♬♩♪♩
The blue sky and fluffy clouds reflected on the lake, a huge mirror creating another sky on its surface, a more vibrant but precise copy. No boats cut through the water, it was like there was a part of the sky that had made its home on the ground. Trees extended on every side of the lake, so many of them one next to the other with no end in sight.
The grass tickled Jimin’s palms swaying in the gentle wind. He breathed in the fresh morning.
“One day we’ll go on a boat ride.” Jungkook was sitting next to him, his long bangs falling at the sides of his face. “We’ll see every part of the lake, not just this. We’ll go everywhere.”
Flowers bloomed all around them, white and blue petunias, chrysanthemums and lilies. Jimin wanted to cut the most beautiful one and tuck it behind Jungkook’s ear. He turned to tell him but hands were holding the back of his neck and lips devouring his. He gripped Jungkook’s arms to steady himself from the force of the kiss. The sweet aroma of the flowers filled him up, engulfing every part of his being, the deepest crevices and the smallest of cracks.
Jungkook pushed him back so he was laying on the grass and Jimin let him, too drunk off the flowers and soft lips. Touches on his cheeks and his sides, caresses under his shirt. He was burning.
It didn’t take long for the panic to set in. With weak arms, he pushed Jungkook away. The air wouldn’t reach his lungs. The scent of the flowers turned stale and bitter.
“We can’t,” he tried to say but his voice wasn’t coming out right, sticking in his throat and refusing to flow.
Jungkook pulled back. His eyes were darker than before. “Is this it? Am I too common for his highness? You didn’t have any reservations about the panther hybrid, did you? Are you attracted to power, Jiminie? Or do you open your legs only for him?”
There were sharp blades piercing Jimin’s chest. How did he know? Who had told him? No one was supposed to know.
Two figures were hiding between the trees in the darkness the day couldn’t chase away. Your hands were crossed in front of your chest and Yoongi was standing right behind you.
Jimin took a step back colliding with the fountain at the entrance of the Castle. The house was looming over him, ominous and tall as if it could touch the sky. His clothes were torn, dirt and blood staining them. They were the clothes he had been wearing the day you had found them.
“I’m sorry but you can’t stay here anymore,” you said. You knew what he had done, you knew his dirty secret and he was paying for it again. He would be paying for it his whole life. A pain so powerful he felt like he was dying bloomed in his chest as rivers of tears rolled down his cheeks. His knees were weak. He couldn’t stand.
He searched in the faces of his pack, of the people he loved so much he thought his heart would burst. Nothing but sneers and gazes of pity. Whore, they whispered. Slut. Worthless.
Jimin crumbled to his knees. He was dying. He was sure he was dying. Spasms wrecked his body as he sobbed. He had nowhere to go, he had no one but them. He couldn’t live without them.
And when he thought it was over, that it was the last breath he was taking. He opened his eyes. His chest was heaving, his heart beating like a wild animal scratching at the bars of its cage. He was in their room, the glass wall looking out at the forest. Only the moonlight fought the darkness.
The sheets were restricting him and pushing him down, tangled around his body. Frantic movements born out of desperation took over his body and he stumbled over the edge of the bed, falling hard on the floor with the sheets wrapped around his legs.
And it overflowed.
The sobs and tears. He pulled at his hair and scratched his skin. They couldn’t know. No, they could never know. You would never look at him the same way. He would lose the only home he has ever known.
He wanted to scream. Scream until his lungs were empty and his body stopped shaking. Scream until he didn’t feel worthless and used like an old toy forgotten in a corner of the attic.
There were arms around him, prying his hands away from his hair and skin. He tried to pull away but they only held tighter until he gave in and sunk into their warmth. Blood was rushing to his ears and he only made out his name falling from the other person’s lips. He rocked in his arms, cursing himself and the world. Weak. He was so weak.
Fucking pathetic.
He gripped the hands holding him. He focused on the voice speaking although he couldn’t understand what it was saying. He choked on the bile in his throat, his body shaking with his sobs.
“Jiminie, breath. Just breath,” the voice said and Jimin tried to listen to it. He did. But it felt like he hadn’t been able to breath for a while. “Just like this. Breath with me. That’s right, like this. Breath. You’re doing so well, Minie.”
Spent, Jimin fell on the chest behind him, shaky breaths leaving his lips. One of the hands rubbed his stomach over his nightshirt.
“There. You’re alright. You’re alright.”
Jimin swallowed with difficulty down his scratchy throat. “Joonie?”
“I’m here. I’m here, Minie,” the other said. Jimin didn’t have the energy to look at him, laying his head on the older’s shoulder. “I’m right here.”
His breathing stuttered. Another tear escaping from his eyes, he thought he’d run out of them. “I’m sorry.”
“Shhh, don’t say that. Please don’t say that.” Namjoon’s voice was unsteady and it hurt Jimin knowing he had been the cause of it. “You’re alright. I’m always here for you but I can’t protect you from your head.”
Jimin’s tail wrapped around one of Namjoon’s arms as Jimin sniffled. “I don’t want to be alone. Please, please don’t let me go. Don’t make me leave.”
“Never. I’ll never leave you. We’ll never leave you. I’d do anything in this world to keep you safe.” Namjoon caressed his arm, moving upwards and pressing his fingers against Jimin’s left scent gland. Jimin’s whole body trembled, shivers overtaking him. Namjoon rubbed his nose against the other side of his neck, leaving kisses behind. Purring, Jimin arched his neck.
“I love you,” Jimin whispered, unable to stop the tears from falling.
Namjoon kissed over his scent gland and Jimin felt it everywhere. “I love you, Minie. So much.”
#bts#bts hybrid au#btscreatorscorner#bts x reader#jungkook x reader#jimin x reader#namjoon x reader#seokjin x reader#yoongi x reader#hoseok x reader#taehyung x reader#poly!bts x reader#poly!bts#bts fanfic#jikook#sope#bts scenarios#bts angst#bts fluff
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