#i swear they keep make purposefully vague

[xyymath]

Grad school: Where you learn the art of pretending you understand what your advisor is saying.

[vyainide]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ౨ৎ kento, shoko & thigh riding

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ2024 ©1864RERUNS

includingㅤ━ㅤnanami kento, ieiri shōko

tag(s)&warning(s). drabbles, afab! reader, nsfw, vague bdsm dynamic (for both), brat taming (nanami), a littleeeee bit of sadism and dacryphilia (shōko)

from vyon. i... got carried away... sorry... idk why shōko's was more beautiful and poetic and symbolic, lesbians just do it for me, shoot the messenger ig 😰😰 wanted to get this out on the 3rd but shhhhhh 🤫 NEARLY LOST THIS DRAFT TO MY DUMB WIFI 😭😭😭 ( & @sugojosgf cheer up baby 🫀🫀)

nanami swears he hates this as much as you do. he hates having to punish you for being a brat but he knows what has to be done when he's met with that petulant frown, your eyebrows pinched together like the foldings of an envelope that'll only reveal the simmering annoyance in your eyes when he drags a hand over your jaw, nodding your head up to his gaze. he takes in the subtle way you flinched when he breathes a deep breath through his nose— obvious disappointment in his ministrations. he doesn’t like out–right denying you though, and you appreciate that, you really do— but when it ends with your legs spread over his thighs, hopelessly grinding down for the smallest fractions of friction, it starts to feel worse than not having him at all.

Your hands fisted the material of his dress–shirt, marking folds and creases into the otherwise ironed shirt. Nanami's hands are settled on your hips, patting an encouraging rhythm— other than that, you have him no where else. It's a punishment, he reminds you, he's not going do anything more than this, than what's necessary to put you back into your place. So you're left to fend for yourself, trying your best to hump against Nanami's thigh with no footing; it feels stupid, you're sure you look stupid. Your feet hang just a few millimetres from the floor, dangling in the air as your toes stretched out purposefully so you can stabilise your lower half enough to push your hips forward.

Frustrated tears have been blurring your vision for however long this has gone on, Nanami leans back into the support of the chair, making a point of keeping away from you as his hands tap. You can't help but grumble, frustrated and whiny, at his constant reminder to keep your pace even. "If it's not to apologise for the way you behaved," Nanami speaks after what seems like hours of silent watching, "then I don't want to hear anythin'."

he makes you hump against his thigh as a punishment, knowing that no matter how long you spend trying to find the right position to purposefully push your clit down, you'll never get satisfied enough to cum. he doesn’t touch you, he doesn't talk to you— it's like he isn't there at all, reminiscent of all the lone nights when you have to settle for your fingers to press against an ache between your thighs that nanami had worked into you. his patience is the most annoying part of it— how his eyes brush over your features without a care for your struggles. depending on how stubborn you feel that night, nanami will either interfere with subtle touches to break down your walls or he'll soften at the sound of your apology between sobs.

Exhaustion taunts your movement, unfortunately, Nanami knew that you weren't ready to give in; his eyes trail over the clock and finds himself surprised by how long you'd been at this. Memories of your actions trickle back into his mind, wondering why you felt so especially wronged to sulk this long— maybe he'd been in the wrong this time. He wonders the specifics for a bit before coming to the conclusion that you were just being particularly stubborn about this and he'd hadn't been wrong to issue a correction for your behaviour. However, it didn't seem to be doing its job, neither helping you nor him.

Decidedly, he reaches an hand out to push your hair behind your ear. You curl into the touch almost immediately and he has to fight the satisfaction that corrupts inside him when you chase after him. Sweat lines your forehead, features permanently scrunched up, your mouth parted open as you panted. Full of unbridled tears, your eyes flickered to Nanami and you finally squeeze out a please, whisper to him that you're sorry. It's all that Nanami's wanted to hear so he leans in, a hand pushed upwards under the hem of your shirt and the other grabs your leg, hooking it over his other thigh so you could slide into his lap comfortably. You settled right over his bulge, a satisfied sigh shivering through your spine as Nanami trails his hand up; he pushes his fingers through your hair at the base of your hair and holds it out of the way when he nods his head down to press kisses at your neck. Sorry's fall out of your mouth at a hurried pace when you finally get to grind against his bulge, finally able to focus some kind of attention to your clit.

you're always tired by the time nanami decides that you've been good enough for your punishment to end or you give in and apologise; your legs ache from all the strenuous effort, no matter how long you'd been at it. since you've already shown regret for your actions, there's no need to nanami to shy away from taking over. he allows you to lie weightless underneath him, only twenty–one grams left of your soul boneless and floating as nanami finally gives you gentle reprieve. fucking you slow as he hums, praising how good you've been, telling you you'll always be his doll— no matter how you act out.

it's mere fun for shōko. something about it is electric, evokes some disturbing sense of feeling through nerves that she's left in slumber for years; thrumming inside of her, pandora's box bursts open inside of her bones, insects buzzing alive and rattling through narrow calcium passageways in search of an exit. she erupts with life when you're so desperately chasing after your own high, neglecting her touches, on her thigh. your whines and mewls feeding the torturous ache inside her to always have you here, ready–made for her. it's strange for shōko to like this as much as you do— maybe even more, when she gains no physical gratification from it, despite that, she's obsessed.

High–pitched moans have been altering the space of Shōko's bedroom for a while, the furniture all oozing down into the walls and floor as her brain focuses both hemispheres on you; they both fight to see which side can get more of you. Her left hand squeezes the fat of your hips, switching between mean grips and soothing cirles; her right hand is messing with the clasps of your bra, trying to get it off so she can see your tits bounces everytime you jostle forwards. She's all over you and encourages you to do the same with her.

Her face pushed right into the burrow of your neck, desperately kissing and licking over your skin, like she could wear it away enough with her tongue alone to have an entrance to push herself into your body to make home. Spurned on by the fact that you're grinding against her so desperately and still it's not enough, she's untamed. Her kisses are broken into intervals where she stops biting and sucking to murmur praises into your skin, making herself known to your intimate body.

there's little logic as to why exactly shōko enjoys the practice so much. she thinks it's the view, honestly. your flushed face— too fucked up to worry about appearances, your hair sticking to your forehead like strokes of paint, how you scramble your hands over her in search of some texture and stability, the tears and the sobs that follow. she watches it all with a patience and steadiness that could only belong to someone with her kind of profession and it only spurns you on more, knowing that there was some kind of obscene part of shōko that loved this. even though she shushes you so gently, wipes your eyes, and gives you soft kisses over the parts of your cheeks where makeup has loosened from sweat and tears— she makes you keep going until your body gives out.

She hums, pleasant and supportive next to your ear when her kisses lead her back up to your face. Your nails tightened into her shoulders, the tension of a cable holding an elevator wound up your body, a burn in your thighs like you'd been awake with the weight of the world on your shoulders for a millennia and more. You've been asking for something for a while— you're not sure what exactly but Shōko knows. She always does when you're whimpering please's in her ears. Your head lay on her shoulder, pants falling from your lips and a dazed look on your face as your hips shift and stutter, prompted by her encouraging hands. "Please, Shō," you beg again and again, "I— I need," and you don't finish cause she swats at your thigh.

"Jus' a lil' more, okay pretty?" Strangely, she sounds just fucked up as you. "A little more, then I'll take care of everything." Shōko's never disappointed you, she's not cruel enough to be made for that, so you trust her and you keep going. When your breathing slows, breaths more purposeful and you're sniffling, obvious tears rolling down your face, she waits for the weight of your hips to shift entirely into her palms— a burden on her shoulders— and then she'll take over. "You did so good," she hums as she moves you to lay down on the bed. "So, so good, 'm gonna take care of you now, 'kay?" You nod and her tongue swipes over the tears that fall from your eyes over to your ear before kissing the skin.

when she's satisfied with how worn out you already are, she takes over. shōko thinks this is also why she enjoys having you tire yourself out on her thighs first; you're so docile, so quiet, so receptive to everything she does now. every slow, tantalising stroke against unassuming expanses of skin makes you twitch and squirm; you're too tired to even call her name so she listens to your squeals and whines instead, using them as guides for her next movements. she knows that you'll hate her in the morning for managing to talk you into this, but right now, she doesn't hear a bratty peep out of you and it's how she likes it. she already deals with too much stress in her life— the last thing she needs is for you to add onto that and even though you'll pout at her and turn away from her warmth in the morning, she knows you like your mind reduced to liquid, you don't like the weight of your own thinking either.

[lilacxquartz]

Those Late Summer Nights I Chapter 17

satoru gojo x f!reader × suguru geto

plot: you moved to tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. as you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

chapter summary: suguru loses himself again, finding that he can’t keep carrying on this way and getting later confronted by shoko doesn’t do much to help him either.

warnings: noncon

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

17. Insanity

Suguru stared at you with a resigned glare, as if he already knew that stopping himself was far from possible.

“I need you to answer this for me,” he pleaded almost, your silence was beginning to madden him, “do you trust me or not?”

Nodding, you spat out a rushed answer, “Y-yes.”

“How much?” he demanded.

“I-I, um… uh,” you stammered as your words scrambled in response, failing to get a single coherent response out.

Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath to calm himself down before realising that he wasn’t going to get anywhere with you if he kept being so purposefully vague before continuing, “Let me rephrase it then. Do you trust me enough to… to let me hurt you?”

Momentarily freezing, you didn’t know how to reply to him at all. Your tongue danced at the edge of your lips, your breath faltered as you tried to push a response out but nothing happened at all.

“You promised me, remember?” Suguru reminded you of something that happened not too long ago, feeling his mind spiral. “That you’d let me be the only one who could hurt you so that I could make it better.”

Finally getting some words out, you tried to defend yourself, “I-I didn’t want him to do it-“

“—I know, [name], I know,” he sighed, fully understanding that he wasn’t being fair, “I know that it wasn’t your fault, but, it still happened.”

“Why are you being like this?” you asked, watching the light fade from his eyes the longer he looked at you, settling on a decision that was sure to break the both of you.

He continued to react based on envy alone, his tone darkening as he spoke, “I didn’t want to do something like this again, especially not after last time, but…”

All you could do was simply stare straight ahead instead, realising that’s what he meant by hurting you. It was happening again because in his messed up mind, you gave up a part of yourself to someone else and he wanted to reclaim that.

You didn’t quite believe him when he claimed that he didn’t want to do this, however. If he truly didn’t want to, then he wouldn’t even consider it to begin with.

“—I swear,” he continued to pile on, “it’ll be just this and then I’ll actually fix things, but I can’t control myself just yet…”

You simply zoned out as he trailed off, describing that he had to make it right with you by surrendering to his wrongs first, as if a shred of his psychotic ramblings were making a semblance of sense at all.

His mind was surely a mess, indeed. He felt as though he needed to give you an experience that would somehow override the one that Satoru gave you, just to keep you reminded of who to glue your focus on.

When in reality, you wanted an out from them both.

Just like before, you didn’t have a say in how he reacted to you; his sweatpants pitched a little as he surrendered to the thoughts of reclaiming you, his arousal becoming strongly evident the more that he glanced on and off at you.

He leaned back a little, sliding off his trousers with a shaky hand as he surrendered his thoughts to pure and utter insanity. He remained sat against the edge of the bed, deciding that he didn’t have to move for it.

Much like before, the humiliating reality was left up to you. Forcing you to take it on the easily offered way (or the hard way if you chose to struggle your way out of it).

“Will you… get into position?” he asked you, trying to avoid your gaze. Suguru really hoped that you would follow along, at least ideally. He didn’t want to force you again, but he would absolutely do so if you didn’t do as he asked.

Continuing to space out, you understood fully well what he was asking of you but no matter how much you tried to move away or tried to tell him how you truly felt about giving into something like this with him, you simply couldn’t do a single thing.

Noticing your hesitation, Suguru nudged you a little bit, “I won’t ask again so nicely.”

You sighed as you were forced to make a move sooner than never. Remaining still for a further five seconds, you forced yourself to peel yourself from the bed and reluctantly positioned yourself on the floor. It felt just as humiliating as the last time, knowing that you were effectively submitting yourself before him in a kneeled position.

He liked the sight, he thought, it was just a shame that he couldn’t be normal and accomplish it through better circumstances, though.

Something inside of him ate away at his troubled mind as he envisioned his supposed friend doing this sort of thing to you with that exact same look on your face.

Without saying much, he tangled his fingers into the locks of your hair to begin with—weaving through the strands so that he could secure a good grip on you before dragging you closer, guiding the tip of his throbbing erection towards your lips.

He considered letting you ease into it slowly and to figure out your own pace, but he supposed that Satoru didn’t and so he wouldn’t be gentle either.

“Just… don’t bite,” he murmured.

Pushing himself into your mouth, he went as far as he could before your gag reflex kicked in. You struggled slightly in response as you felt him fill out your mouth with his girth, feeling all sorts of wrong as your tongue tasted him while he slid through you. When his cock finally poked the back of your throat though, is when your eyes watered and you pushed back.

Understanding what your limit was, Suguru continued to mutter on and off to himself, “Okay, so that can’t happen for too long then…”

Rather than keep your head in a steady bobbing motion like Satoru however, Suguru instead thrusted upwards against you. His preferences were usually rougher to begin with as you were quickly finding out, even when he did his best to remain calm. Instead of you doing anything to him, it felt as though he was trying to fuck your mouth instead.

Initially, he committed to his slow exploration of what you could do but then he gradually lost himself to the sensation. His grip around your skull began to hurt as your hair pulled and as he speared his length into your throat, regardless of your protests—physical, vocal—it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“Sorry,” he whispered, despite the fact that he kept doing it.

Your body continued to protest as your palms pushed back at his legs but he didn’t stop, instead grabbing your wrist with his other hand to pry you off; to squeeze your wrist in warning and to keep you grounded in place. He then accelerated the pace, the only sounds in the room present being his grunted whines, your pained cries and skin slapping onto skin.

Of course, Suguru was in too deep into his jealousy to even realise that you weren’t actually doing too well at all. His pursuit left you feeling almost breathless as he continued to keep you well gagged, keeping his length constantly working on you without a single break.

Shushing you, he picked up the pace ever so slightly and tilted his head back. Both to avoid the sight of you and both to surrender to his own building pleasure.

This wasn’t going to be a pleasant sensation from the start. Not physically for you, not mentally for him and yet something like this kept happening, again and again.

“Almost,” he gritted, his jaw clenching as he chased his release.

You tolerated it for a while longer, just barely. Your hands fought him more frequently now, demanding a break. Even Satoru despite his forcefulness, gave you a moment to breathe. Suguru wasn’t doing such a thing however, choosing to be unrelenting instead; your eyes burning as they watered, your vision almost beginning to blur the longer he abused your throat.

Suguru was close though, genuinely. He continued to ram his shaft back and forth, fucking himself into your skull—his release so very close, almost painful as a familiar sensation built up in his stomach, feeling himself literally become milked dry against your resistance.

He grunted as he emptied himself into your mouth, immediately releasing you on reflex and partially missing where his cum had landed. Your expression slightly souring as you tasted him partially while also feeling a creeping sense of discomfort as it dripped at your chin and partially over your clothes.

Flinging his head forward, he fed you an unreadable expression as he processed the sight of everything while letting what he had just done to you settle in the back of his mind.

Maybe you were confusing sweat for tears, but his raw red eyes partially gave him away. You didn’t look at him for too long but you could have sworn that he was crying too.

Figuring Satoru probably requested something similar, with an almost strained, hoarse voice, he requested one more thing from you that he knew you wouldn’t want to do, “…Swallow what you can.”

You did as he asked, albeit reluctantly.

Seeing you do so, he felt the almost violent jealous rage subside at last, only to be replaced with a hangover of almost crippling guilt instead as he softened. It was twice that he hurt you, not once, but twice. Then there was Satoru who did so too. He was genuinely starting to go crazy as a result; why wasn’t he able to handle this like a normal person?

Quickly pulling his sweatpants back up, he couldn’t say a word to you as you perhaps rightfully spaced out from everything. He should have taken things slowly from the beginning. He should have protected you from the start, taking you away from the root of all of your problems and tried to do right by you when it all started to go wrong instead of whatever… this… whole thing was.

If he was being honest, he was beginning to hate himself for what he kept doing to you.

He had to stop. Somehow.

It was almost funny to him in a bittersweet way, how he spent so long obsessing over the feel of your skin to almost feeling repulsed with himself whenever he had the chance to do so now.

Suguru looked down at you again.

Your face was still flushed and pink, your skin had rolling beads of sweat trickling down from your forehead. The almost dishevelled look that you wore was admittedly hot in his eyes, but he hated it all at the same time given the circumstances with how it was accomplished.

After a long and strained moment, you pulled yourself back at last. Your knees gave out as you sat on your bottom instead; your legs tenting in a bowed position as your hands planted themselves onto the floorboards. You had no idea of what to do or say now and neither did Suguru; the two of you staying quiet for the longest time.

After a while however, you slowly picked yourself up as he looked straight past you, his eyes barely following you as you walked towards the en-suite. In an attempt to follow you a second later, he found himself in an almost nauseating position, clutching at his stomach with one hand while the other palmed against his forehead.

By the time you came out of the bathroom, he had since then moved to a lying position on the bed with his eyes pointed at the ceiling.

“Join me for a bit,” he said softly, stretching out his arm in invitation.

You couldn’t refuse him either way, so you reluctantly made your way there. The locks were still in place and if you went outside alone, you risked bumping into Satoru, so you warily accepted his offer and settled right beside him.

He reeled you in as a result, holding onto your side with almost desperate strength to keep you secured into place. The more he thought about it, the more he concluded an understanding (albeit not one that made sense) that the reason that you were both suffering so much was due to the location and the company you kept.

If he moved away sooner than never, then it would all go away.

Pulling you closer, Suguru remained convinced that this was the only way as he settled on the decision. He technically thought about it before but this time he wasn’t going to ease you into it as he had originally planned.

No, this had to be a quick move.

Sitting up ever so slightly, he shot a glance at you for a moment, “Look, I’m going to… I’m going to be back later.”

You didn’t say anything in response and he didn’t expect you to do so. Instead he quickly hopped off into the shower to refresh himself and his mind before getting dressed in a change of new clothes, looking deeply troubled in his expression.

(…Was he actually going mad? He couldn’t tell.)

“I’m going to do something,” he announced in a low voice, his hair still damp, “gonna lock the front door on dual looks and also, don’t tell anyone else that you’re here. Text me if you need anything.”

And with that he left you all alone in the silence with your own troubled thoughts.

~~~

Shoko’s ears perked up when she heard her door open, hoping that it would be you so that she could finally tear you away from this whole mess but it turned out to be Suguru instead.

Feigning initial ignorance, she greeted him passively, “Need something?”

“Just collecting some things for [name],” Suguru replied, seeming just a little bit too tense, “she’s still upset after what happened, you know?”

“That so? How about cutting the shit, Suguru?” Shoko sighed, following him to your room, “I know you’ve done something and I’m not gonna drop it until you come clean.”

She stood her ground, crossing her arms as she blocked the doorway. She had an idea of what he did, but she didn’t know the full extent of the details just yet, hoping that he would confess at his own will instead.

Suguru feeling already all sorts of messed up from everything that had been going on thus far, started to ever so slightly crumble.

“Alright, look, Sho…” he sighed, latching onto your clothes that he held almost desperately onto, “I know I went about it very wrong, so you can spare me the lecture-“

“What did you do?” she replied, really hoping that she was actually wrong about the whole thing. “Seriously. What the fuck did you do?”

Suguru took another deep breath, sighing as he combed his fingers through his hair, instead taking a seat on your bed with his shoulders slumping forward, “You can guess.”

“No, no, no. You’re fucking serious?” Shoko scoffed in response, rolling her eyes in sheer disbelief, “I’m guessing some not great things here— and you’re not… you’re not even gonna attempt to defend yourself? You realise I’m accusing you of sexual assault right?”

“I know what I’ve done so I’m not gonna sugarcoat it,” Suguru sighed, he needed someone to talk about all that has happened, maybe he even needed to be scolded a bit too, he deserved it anyway, “but I’m also gonna make it up to her, I promise.”

“By cutting yourself out of her life, right?” she asked.

“It’s not that simple, Sho,” Suguru sighed, “you don’t know the full story-“

“—this should be rich,” she snorted in a sarcastic tone, “tell me, Suguru, why are you justifying staying with her despite what you’ve done? I can’t believe I’m friends with an abuser. What the fuck happened to you?”

Albeit reluctantly, Suguru attempted to defend himself, “I’m the only one who knows exactly what she’s going through for one-“

Only to be cut off by Shoko, “—you caused it though, you dumbass.”

“You don’t get it,” he sighed again, straightening his back, “she has nobody else. I can’t just leave her behind, not when her only option is to go home to… go back to that life. Better yet, what, do you want me to call Satoru over to fix the mess he started so he can touch her up in the alley again? Fuck, man, I might have done a lot of wrong, but I’m at least genuinely putting in effort into fixing things.”

“Hold on a second,” Shoko said, catching onto one detail in particular, “let’s rewind there, what do you mean by Satoru touching her up in the alley…?”

Her mind blanked for a moment, was it really Satoru who did that to you? You were so shaken up back then, so roughed up, so upset. What were her two friends that she trusted to get to know you even doing? If she had known then she would have acted sooner. God, how guilty she felt. She needed to make this right; she needed to get you the hell away.

“Oh yeah, that’s the rich part,” Suguru scoffed as he started to spill the details, “he kept it so well hidden too, that fucking liar. Guess he’s no better than I am, so that’s just fair game, isn’t it?”

“Great,” she sighed, taking a wary step back while feigning self control in her tone, “so you’re both fucking disgusting.”

“Correct… but, like I said,” Suguru reminded her, “I’m going to fix things.”

Shoko groaned in almost exasperated tone, rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands, “How are you gonna do that exactly?”

He wanted to tell her the full truth, how it all started with eliminating the bully from your past and then moving up from there, but he had to keep it better contained or else he wouldn’t be able to pull it off, “I’ll remove her from Satoru’s grasp and take both her and the girls far, far away to start something new. You’re welcome to stay in touch, just don��t tell anyone else,” he murmured in an added warning, “I mean it.”

“And does she want this…?” Shoko asked, not quite buying that this was something you just blindly agreed to.

Suguru shrugged, “She wants peace.”

“Then leave her alone.”

Suguru started to however ignore her, fetching a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up in the room itself. Shoko initially wanted to protest, knowing her landlord would berate her for it later, but instead just cracked open a window and lit a stick up too.

She was going to get you out of this whole mess either way, so perhaps it was for the best that Suguru thought that she was resigning in her attempts to do so. He probably thought that she had no real idea how to do so anyway.

“No more bullshit then,” she stalled, withholding the information that Utahime was on board to help her, that the second she could catch you truly alone, was the second that she’d jump in and get you out.

Not that Suguru could know about it.

Not that Satoru would ever hear a single word.

“No more bullshit,” Suguru agreed, understanding that it wasn’t that simple in his now regained clarity, because this whole thing was complicated and so was he (but as soon as he’d fix it, then the bullshit would surely stop. That’s the promise he gave you and that’s what he owed you and he had to see it through).

He’d stop.

Surely.

[calmlb]

have some silly skk wedding hcs bc. idk i just wanted to yell w someone abt them

chuuya cries in sporadic bursts the day of but taken altogether it's like 3 hrs of hysterical sobbing

dazai doesn't cry at all because he slips into like a shocked fugue state the second he sees chuuya but he DOES bawl like a baby the next morning

nobody who attended remembers past like hour 4 of the wedding and six months later they're still uncovering some of the wild shit they did during the afterparty. this is because the wedding staff accidentally became part of the celebration and the photographer, who was supposed to record the whole thing, ended up sleeping with one of the cast. it was kunikida.

just to be obnoxious ranpo proposes to poe and chuuya has to be held back by a crying w laughter dazai from Physically Attacking Him

dazai insists on having a bouquet to throw, which he purposefully angles for akutagawa to catch. atsushi faints, lucy's face progresses from angry -> considering in real time (they r a throuple real)

chuuya picks his best man/maid of honor fairly easily (hirotsu and kouyou duh) but dazai basically told the ada to figure it out amongst themselves and come back to him with their decisions (he's lazy/genuinely didn't know who to pick and wanted to outsource) and there was Actual Violence

lots of drama over whether or not to invite mori and verlaine. turns out to be a nonissue bc all verlaine does is cry in a corner about a) rimbaud and b) holy shit my little brother is getting married and after hour 6 mori and fukuzawa disappear from the event (neither they nor anyone else remembers this. very lucky)

ango receives an invitation with no context and has like 3 mental breakdowns about what this means for his and dazai's relationship

7 hours in (it was a long party) kenji's cow somehow shows up (he swears up and down it wasn't him, everyone's very confused the next morning)

it was a sunset wedding, dazai wore white and chuuya wore blue

adam and shirase and some other members of the sheep are there. adam makes fast friends with kyouka, meanwhile the former sheep are very narrowly spared dazai's wrath, mostly bc he keeps forgetting they're even there. it's a big wedding

tachihara tried to drunkenly breakdance, gin laughed so hard she thought she got heart palpitations and was afraid for her life. she went to look for mori and walked in on him and fukuzawa. none of them remember this but now gin feels a vague sense of horror every time she looks at her boss and she's not really sure why

yosano tries rizzing kouyou up and fails by any normal metric (yosano: please please please please please please please please please please) but kouyou is Tipsy and Charmed

dazai does indeed burn the marriage certificate (TRY RETURNING ME WITHOUT A RECEIPT, CHIBI!!). chuuya is so in love he starts crying again

higuchi and tanizaki had philosophical discussions about life on the rooftop and accidentally solved the secrets of the universe. they do not remember this

kunikida returns from his steamy rendezvous with the photographer and immediately sets his sights on ango. drunk kunikida knows what he wants (twinkish men) and when he wants them (now). there is a reason one of the most important ideals in his notebook is to Not Drink

the guild is there and are generally having a good time until fitzgerald sees tsujimura (only there as ango's plus-one, got abandoned bc of drunk kunikida's machinations) and calls her a blue-haired liberal, and hey, what's a party without a brawl in the middle of the dance floor

between the guild and the wedding staff half the people at the party weren't even invited. which is why the doa and hunting dogs are also there

kenji, kyouka, q, elise, and aya are having a Kids' Party in a separate room with adam as an extremely enthusiastic babysitter (well, more like occasional check-in-er, he's swinging back and forth between the parties). tecchou joins them after a while and has a great time, as all except aya are extremely fascinated by his unholy food combinations

bram and lovecraft kickstart their enemies-to-lovers arc the second they set eyes on each other

fyodor, dazai, kajii, and nikolai start up a game of Knife Monopoly, to everyone's surprise the extremely determined caterer sweeps them all. sigma is smitten at once and immediately starts to flirt with her (the caterer is a milf who is seduced by sigma's transgender rizz, sigma will eventually have an entire 'convincing the stepkids' family movie arc)

teruko FUCKS IT UP on the dance floor, haruno is so impressed she immediately falls into her first disastrous sapphic crush

hirotsu and natsume mutually agree to restart their homoerotic situationship without ever even actually saying two words to each other, someone has to take skk's place now that they've more or less gotten their shit together

katai wasn't there physically but was supervising through security cameras. he's the only one who will ever know everything that happened that night and deleted the footage due to trauma :( sorry katai

tsujimura and mushitarou bond over how desperately they Do Not Want To Be There

skk Try to have a romantic wedding night(/morning, given how long the afterparty stretched) but they are both too drunk, chuuya trips and falls flat on his face and dazai laughs so hard he throws up

omg i started yapping and then i just didn't stop. i didn't even know i had this many thoughts in my head. i am sending this before i can regret it feel free to delete if u want to

anon. THESE ARE SO GOOD OMG???? i could literally visualize a whole fic just by reading these hcs

adding my comments under the cut so it doesn’t get too long 🫣

ok first of all… the skk crying hcs??? CANON OMG im so obsessed

Ranpo turning skk’s wedding into his engagement party is so true of him. he absolutely would

Dazai totally would insist on a bouquet to toss, & him throwing it at to Akutagawa is so funny 😭

SOMEONE SAVE ANGO PLS-

KENJI’S COW IM SOBBING it reminds me of that wan episode where Atsushi asks Dazai what Yosano needed & he was like “… a cow!” boba eyes & everything

i had never thought of Adam & Kyouka being buddies but my life is changed now tysm for this revelation

NOT GIN BEING SCARRED BY ZENKU SKK 💀 someone get my girl outta there

ok but tipsy + charmed Kouyou is a vision

Chuuya tells Dazai that burning the marriage certificate means they’re not married anymore & that’s when Dazai finally breaks down into tears

ok Higuchi & Tanizaki is another duo i never considered and i LOVE IT???

KUNIANGO SO TRUE

TSUJIMURA A BLUE HAIRED LIBERAL I AM SCREAMING

omg i love the kids party & skk are both good with kids so they definitely would make sure the kids are taken care of 🥹 Adam would be such a good babysitter, and Tetchou too??? omg giving me fic ideas with this one

super invested in this caterer x Sigma arc tbh

ykw i was thinking abt bsd rarepairs the other day & couldn’t figure out who to ship Teruko or Haruno with… should’ve thought of this honestly

SOMEONE SAVE KATAI TOO OMG THAT POOR MAN-

now that you mention it… i actually love the idea of Tsujimura & Mushitaro but i think it’s mostly bc her hair matches his suit PFFT

skk’s ideal honeymoon = SLEEP 😫

i’m so glad you didn’t stop yapping non, this was so wonderful tysm i feel blessed 🥹🩷 please feel free to yell abt hcs or say hi anytime!! 🫶🏻💕💕

[genderkoolaid]

okay. i swear to god im gonna write out a whole post on this at a time where my brain isnt fogged tf up and i can actually think. but looking into the criticism against trans* reaffirms to me that the narrowing of purposefully vague terms is less about the word and more about our cultural aversion to blurred lines and open-ended concepts & our desperate need for everything to have a strict little box. & also that its vital to me that we acknowledge genderqueerness/transness outside of people who identify as something different than what they were assigned at birth.

& there are people who use trans in a queer way, keeping it open to gnc people, drag artists, people who do their agab but in a queer/trans way. but trans* feels like it really emphasizes that (& also was originally meant to include transsexual/transvestite & i think that language is still very valuable, esp. in making people understand that just like there is no one trans identity, there is no one trans method)

[xaharadesert]

MC’s Familiar Having a Crush on LI’s Familiar - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6 + Familiars)

A/N: another poll winner! The request for this one specifically asked for the reactions of the LIs and their familiars, so it doesn’t really fall into “x MC” territory :) also, I’m leaving the species of MC’s familiar purposefully vague, but with the assumption that it’s not the same species as LI’s! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: swearing in Lucio’s section

❤️Julian❤️

As a man of science, he has many questions

Are relationships between different species common in the magical world? Does a “crush” indicate that familiars have a similar level of sentience to humans? Is this an innate trait, or something that manifests as a result of magic?

The temptation to launch a scientific investigation is strong in this situation, but he restrains himself

It feels immoral to toy around with love, even if he doesn’t really understand it

However, that means that he’ll be supporting this crush from both the standpoint of a friend and a scientist

🌑Malak🌑

He had never really thought about romance before

Most of his time was spent bothering people and collecting shiny things, and he was content with that life

So finding out that another creature had a crush on him was an odd experience, to say the least

Not to mention that it was someone he already knew, and shared a strong connection with

He thinks he might give it a try. He won’t be sharing his collection of shiny things, though

🧡Portia🧡

Immediately thinks it’s the cutest thing to ever happen

100% supportive, no matter the species difference

Gives your familiar the shovel talk (Pepi is her baby, after all)

Makes all the classic parent jokes about keeping the door open

After making that joke, she sits in silence and contemplates the reality of the relationship, and now also has many questions

Will not be asking them though; might ask Julian about it later

🐈Pepi🐈

Embarrassed by her mother, which is difficult to achieve, given that she is a cat and feels no shame

When she finds out about the crush, she just kind of shrugs it off

It makes sense, after all; she is a cat, and cats are perfect

If the crush seems serious, then she’s willing to reciprocate

Probably would not be the best partner— she prefers to spend her time napping in the sun, so if your familiar is high energy then it might not work out

💛Lucio💛

What the fuck

Like, genuinely, what the fuck

I mean, he’s not really one to judge, given his own weird tastes

But, like, really? How the fuck does that happen?

Thinks his dog(s) can do better than your familiar, and makes this well-known

🐾Mercedes OR Melchior🐾

Makes perfect sense to him— he would fall in love with himself too

Not really interested in reciprocating though: he is a very busy boy

Many squirrels to chase and bones to chew

May pursue a more dedicated friendship, though

And if he’s feeling generous, then he may share one of his toys with your familiar

💚Muriel💚

A bit hesitant at first

He’s a very reserved kind of man, and he really only has Inanna by his side all the time

So he doesn’t know how he feels about losing her to any degree

But if it makes her happy, then he’ll support it

After all, it’s your familiar, and he trusts you

🐺Inanna🐺

Really did not expect that

Immediately rejects the crush, partly out of panic, because she really doesn’t want anything to change

But over time, she realizes she might like something more with your familiar

Eventually, the crush is returned

Mostly, she truly feels comfortable with it when she realizes she will always have Muriel’s support

💙Asra💙

Makes perfect sense to him; he’s loved you for years, so it’s only natural that Faust would form a bond with your familiar as well

He thinks it’s really cute, and encourages them to spend time together

Sometimes jokes with Faust about her “snake charm”

As a bonus, your familiars spending time together means that the two of you can spend more time together as well

Most definitely plans double dates (platonic or romantic)

🐍Faust🐍

Faust had a crush on your familiar before they had a crush on her

So she’s delighted to see it’s returned!

Very enthusiastic about having a partner

If your familiar is larger, then she’s hitching a ride whenever they hang out

Very cuddly for a snake, especially if your familiar gives off body heat

💜Nadia💜

Keeps her thoughts to herself while she tries to understand how exactly your familiar can have a crush on hers

She doesn’t want to judge what she doesn’t understand, so she asks you a few questions about it

Once she gets the gist of it, she’s very supportive, and finds it rather cute

Keeps an eye on Chandra though, since she knows her familiar likes her personal space, and helps to enforce boundaries

Overall thinks it’s harmless fun

🦉Chandra🦉

Eh

She’s not into romance, and let’s your familiar down as easily as she can

Still wants to be friends, but needs her own space

She’s a very solitary creature, and she has no desire to change

Will still occasionally be more affectionate to your familiar when she sees that they’re feeling down

[purgemarchlockdown]

Hm, seems like you didn't find who you were looking for.

---------------------------------------

I've been (not) working on the next Es Quest update and also my 7 other responsibilities so of course I *looks at notes* drew the Es Quest-ed of Yuno and Fuuta made by @74n5n the Es Quest-ed Kazui and Shidou by @stuffedsand and OoA Amane by @oboetemasuka I- I thought about it.

Originally these were all supposed to be base loop iterations and but some drifted a bit.

I have THOUGHTS on everyone, I added too much symbolisms but I'm also rather tired so there going to Sound Silly:

I Like Miku so I was probably going to do him no matter what but like, well:

Which of your choices belong to you? Make sure to obey properly

I will do everything… I swear!

I'm unsure if he would pull the same somewhat patient mostly not manipulation Amane did but I DO think he would bite people and then get punished for biting people. I don't know how long it would take to train this behavior out of him, I have a hunch that it's Much Shorter than I would like. Oparant Conditioning Moment. He has a cloak to replace his blanket, it's much stiffer than it seems.

Ayame...uh:

My wish is to stay like this forever, I'm scared, I'll grant your wish

Very much God's Specialist Girl and she's totally completely utterly fine with this :)))))

Run away, run run, you're done once you trip and fall. Was it a mistake? What's a mistake? You don't want to be punished again. 

(...you can really tell Miku is my favorite)

Kazui: Very "Haha this must be a peculiar situation for you" I Think. He's so very normal about being here actually and has no complicated feelings, he's FINE ACTUALLY About usually being type casted as the monster that people need to kill to save the world, he's Sooo Normal about being tired and dying all the time like he's so very normal about it actually.

Shidou:

Shidou really wants to stop being vaguely Sick all the time please, he doesn't remember how feeling healthy felt like. Someone give him some paracetamol at this moment. He keeps the Hero at a distance cause he's scared it's Actually Infectious. Most Diseased Middle Aged Man. His Stethoscope is tied around and caught on the stake so every time he moves he's scared he'll break it and he can't break it he needs to help people even if he is sick-

In other words: He's really not dealing with this "Being a diseased kitten that needs to be killed to save the world" thing well.

Yuno and Fuuta have already been talked about when it comes to loop iterations and I don't really have much to add there, but I purposefully made Fuuta's leash Bigger so that when it's around the stake it's Really Clear that he could get out. Everyone in Es Quest suffers from Learned Helplessness because Time Loop Torture Dimension (And they Could Actually just move over and remove it from the stake, they have hands. The only exceptions would be the ones with chains and Kazui cause his isn't on a stake, but even for the chains their too big so really they would just have to lug it around, for Kazui he could straight up bite through them-) but I wanted to really ram it in for him.

Kyanako we have already talked At Length about OoA Es Quest Edition but I put her Sideways so that her blindside Would Not be facing the Hero. Also I like to think that early Loops she was a bit soaked. Just... :DDDDD

[rainbowsandwhumperflies]

The Winged Servant - drabble

content warnings: gun violence, discussion of murder

masterlist

notes: This takes place about five-ish years before the current timeline?? Give or take a few months. I know I've been vague about history that Onyx isn't aware of, so for some context, this was the Raos' last day living in the castle. also yay ryan pov!!

It had been about six minutes since Jayden had told Ryan about the rioting on the first floor. The castle was understaffed most Sundays, and this Sunday was worse, and everyone knew it, and everyone knew that there was no way this ended peacefully. 

But Cardan and Lucia were taken care of. The doctor and Onyx were taken care of, because of all the things that might be found in this building, the angel project would look the worst by far. And Jayden was taken care of. 

All Ryan had to do now was get out. And that shouldn't be too hard, because the riots were still confined to the first floor—second, maybe, if they had a large group—and the tunnels could only be accessed from the fourth floor. He was close to the tunnels already, just another few hallways. A left there, and-

There was a gun. Pointed at Ryan's forehead, right in between his eyes. 

It hadn't been used. Not tonight, anyway. It was cold and clean against his skin. This was not a rioter that had made it up here by being faster and more brutal. This person had purposefully separated from the rest, looking specifically to get to the royal family. 

“I know you,” Ryan said after a moment, when he hadn't been shot. The braids, previously purple and down the person's waist, were now green and piled on top of his head. Ryan wondered absently when he'd had time to get them done, but he wasn't difficult to recognize regardless. “You tried this before. Last week. And you escaped before I could kill you for it. It's- fuck. It's Kieran, right?” Kieran had been too uncomfortable with violence to do any real damage. Judging from the tremor that traveled from his hand down the barrel of the gun, that still held true. 

“Yeah. Uh. Cardan?”

“Ryan,” the prince corrected. “Cardan is too far gone by now. You won't find him. You can keep me alive if you wish, but I will not help you look for him.”

“It wasn't supposed to be like this,” Kieran whispered. “I don't want to kill you.”

“What did you think would happen when you came?”

“You could surrender, Ryan.” He barely kept himself from recoiling at the use of his first name. “No, I'm serious,” Kieran insisted. “I wouldn't just senselessly kill you, I'd give you a trial. A fair trial, I swear. I know your mom forced you to do some of the things you did—you could tell people.”

Ryan glanced between Kieran and the gun. He had no weapons. He had no exit routes. And when he refused to denounce the queen at a trial, he would be killed.

“Please,” Kieran said softly. “I could help you, kid.”

He was trying to diffuse the situation. It was almost laughable. People who were good at diffusing situations didn't use nicknames like “kid” to do it.

“Hey, Kieran?” Ryan asked softly. He leaned slightly away, the corners of his mouth turning up when the gun didn't follow him. “A word of advice, if you plan to make yourself the king? You cannot fix every problem by being nice. The people here will tear you apart if you let them.”

He turned around

and he sprinted down the hall

and he waited for a bullet to hit his head

but Kieran's gun didn't fire.

~

taglist: @kaleidoscope-of-thoughts @toyybox @rainydaywhump @risk606

[derangedanomaly]

yugioh anon here again for another imagine :3 saw the post where it turns out they’re only nice to us cuz chaos accidentally got em on a metaphorical leash but i have already gotten attached so face the wrath of blade angst comfort <3

You’d been here for about a month or so, sitting down on a very fancy gothic sofa. It was a contrast to the dull interior, so it must’ve been Chaos attempting to get Nightmare to show his interests more. You only figured out it was Nightmare’s because in bright red ink on the side it reads, “LMAOO NIGHT STOP BEIN AN EMO”. You have a hunch that Blade wrote it. Speaking of, scanning the room he is nowhere to be found. It IS late night but he’s normally still bouncing around. Ace has a book held in his hands as he eagerly tells Ted about a suspenseful plot point that adds onto his earlier theory. Ted seems vaguely interested, but the popcorn is a good motivator to keep him there. Nightmare and Chaos are chatting back in the kitchen. Chaos had been testing out a new recipe and while Nightmare vehemently denies supporting anyone in anything, you can see a smile twist onto his face when Chaos explains how proud he is of his new creation.

… You aren’t sure if they’d notice you leaving. As a new member, nobody had really taken the chance to get to know you. Sure, they are civil and conversate with you but there isn’t a real connection. Chaos is a lovely fellow, but he can’t force everyone to ask about you or how you feel. Crying here would be humiliating. You get up, footsteps thunking less on the carpet than they would on the floor. It doesn’t matter if you’re friends or not, you’re here for a job! You’re not there to make buddies with everyone, it doesn’t mat-

A sound snaps you out of your spiral. Muffled sounds, broken and purposefully hushed. When you do fully hear them, they remind you of how you sounded when you broke your leg. It was violent crying and whimpering coming through that door. What was strange is that the sign had read “Blade”. Blade. He was funny sometimes, a bit of an ass to you but he was an ass to everyone it seemed. Watching anime with him was a fun way to kill time. Thinking about it, you’d not seen many of the other residents chat with him. Chaos, sure, but Ted frowned when he came by and Ace would get up and leave the room sometimes! Nightmare criticizes everyone because cultivating a garden of negativity is all he seems to do. He was like you. He was new even if he’d been there for so long. You knock on his door gently, hoping he’d even listen.

“Blade? Hello?” You whisper, calling out with concern.

No response comes. You expected as much.

“Blade, please? I know we don’t talk all that much but I’m willing to reach out. It.. I know how it feels to be left out, likely not as deeply as any of you but I still understand.” An irritated groan is all you get in response. Acknowledging you is an upgrade from ignoring, probably!

“You don’t have to let me in. I just want you to know you’re not gonna be alone. Not anymore, okay? I think that you’re a fun and silly person but that isn’t all you are. You’re far more than the goofy one in the group. You’re skilled in many things. Battle, listening to others when you want to, dealing with Nightmare’s irritating ‘suggestions’ on what we can do better. I’m willing to bet you’re a bright individual too. That you can get lonely like anyone else. That you’re a complex person who isn’t just one thing. I’m not leaving you behind, okay? Not just because we’re technically a team, but because I care.”

No response. You quietly sigh, but hearing a sniffle and another start of a whisper back shuts you up.

“Alright.. You’re sappy as hell, you know that? Still, I’m up to talk.” He’s reaching back and extending his worries. You smile. Perhaps you’ll both have a friend.

AHH THE WAY I DROPPED EVERYTHING I WAS DOING WHEN I SAW YOU REQUEST ME!!

I swear I'm in love with your imagines! ><

You're always on point with the characters personality, and always super creative! I love this! ^^

Keep blessing me with masterpieces like this, and I'll personally draw something special for you! :D

[fxlsealarm]

starlight ──────────────────────

commander cody x reader

summary | cody can't help to wander from time to time, thinking about perfect times and everything he could've had done differently.

warnings | fem!reader, jedi!reader (third person), vague mentions of death and injuries

word count | 853

note | i started writing this after the solitary clone, what cody said really make something to me, so this is more like a thought about him and a sad thing i made up

────────────────────────────────

For the first time in what feels like forever, he’s alone. Maybe it’s an exaggeration, maybe he's right to think it could be forever, not that his life has been that long at that point, but it feels like it.

He can't think of a single moment in his life when there wasn't someone by his side, someone he could go to when he needed to; he didn't do that too much anyway, he always tried to keep his problems to himself, but still. He didn't used to think about any of that, but now his chest quivers at the realization. He is alone.

He can't look away. An image so familiar yet so strange at the same time, the stars glowing at the distance, creating patterns that surround the ship that’s floating in the middle of nowhere, but even that’s better than the place he just left. He shifts on his seat, was it right to think about it that way? He starts to wonder if he made the right choice and, even if he didn't, there’s no turning back now anyway. There would be questions and he doesn't have answers, not even for himself.

The empty black space stares right at him in response, what is it seeing? Is it staring at the clouds in his head? like everyone looks at them in the sky when they say that a storm is coming. Maybe it’s trying to figure him out, but there’s no way to know it, maybe it’s waiting, for what? He doesn’t know, but he likes to think that something better is gonna happen, even when he doesn't deserve it, not after everything he’s done.

It’s in times like this that the silence starts to feel uncomfortable, like one of those parasites he’d heard about, the ones that get in your head and start messing with everything that’s there. He enjoyed the silence once, but in that time there was always someone with him, helping him fill the gaps with their presence and he could get lost in the beauty of a quiet room, away from the horrific sounds of everything that was always happening around him.

A time ago he wanted to get rid of the noise, now he needs it, because the silence just gets louder and louder and it reminds him of her. It’s not that he doesn’t like to remember her, but with her memory comes things that he would rather erase from his head.

Everything reminds him of her these days and sometimes he just wants to forget, but how could he? When he swears he can hear her calling his name in every silent place, when the warmth of the sunlight feels like her fingertips brushing against his cheek with that softness only she posses and when the stars that now stare at him look exactly like the shine of her eyes when they meet his. How can he forget when every single thing in existence reminds him of her?

He stops looking outside, his eyes clinging to the empty seat at his left, imagining that if he stares at it enough time she's gonna appear, giving him one of her sweet smiles and assuring him that everything's gonna be fine; maybe that’s what he needs now, his name falling from her lips one more time, in a different way that the last time it did, less worried, less afraid.

His forehead gets against the panel in front of him, the cold material making chills run down his spine and, with eyes closed and that awful feeling crawling to his chest, he thinks about her one more time; maybe in a comforting way, maybe he's just blaming himself again, for everything. That pops another question to his head and with that, another memory.

Would it be a little masochistic of him to think about her purposefully? He never saw himself that way but couldn’t help but wonder if he really was like it, just like she said once.

He was back after a mission where everything went wrong and, as always, who was going to carry the blame? Him. No one said anything about it, it was more like a joint defeat for everyone else, but he couldn’t stop thinking that maybe if he had done something different there wouldn’t be any casualties.

"You have to stop beating yourself up" were her words in that tone she used when she was worried, her voice always seemed to soften when she talked to him, he never said anything about it, enjoying the privilege of seeing a less cold side of her "I'm starting to think you enjoy it" she said, caressing his arm, fingertips brushing over the patch on his most recent injury.

He didn’t answer at the moment, melting into her touch and the peace her presence brought him, but he’d like to tell her how wrong she was. He didn’t enjoy the pressure he was in, but he needed to get through it, he needed to keep his image and so was she, they just had instants when they could let go, instants when nothing but them mattered and they could simply enjoy. Now those instants were gone and so was she and it was, ultimately, his fault.

[legitimatesatanspawn]

Star Wars EU question: what's going on in the creche?

Okay so I never watched the Clone Wars series and my knowledge of the EU is rather... scattershot. I read a good chunk of the Jedi Apprentice books as a kid (and its been a while). Obi Wan is treated like trash there, I swear. Like constantly facing Soap Opera level problems from around 13/14 years old right up until Qui gets killed off when he's around... 26?

Anyway. If anyone has read the Jedi Apprentice books, you know how Obi Wan was almost "aged out" of the Jedi Temple and got tossed to the Farm sidegroup instead of staying in the temple. This was actually part of a scheme by Yoda to get him paired up with his favorite grandpadawan Qui Gon for... uh... basically child-as-therapy. You can boo Yoda for this. I know I boo Yoda for this.

The reason why Obi Wan was nearly tossed was because of anger issues. Anger issues that were because he's a human kid in a stressful position knowing he's gonna be Too Old soon and he lives with a huge bully who keeps goading him into fights.

The bully is Bruck Chun by the way and he is salty about "Oafy Wan" and just...

So there's this wild theory I have as to why this sort of thing was allowed to happen in spite of the Creche masters having the Force on their side and should've been on the ball about the Baby Jedi in spite of narrative convenience making them ignore the bullying and be unable to see the truth.

The two main ideas: one/some of the Creche masters are at the tipping point of Falling from sheer stress, because let's face it young kids are HARD even if you have the best intentions and burnout is real and Force Sensitive kids would probably be both easier and harder. Or... the Sith plot that we vaguely saw revolving around hemming the Jedi in and manipulating the Senate to make things Actively Worse all around had a part in it.

If Creche Masters are known to be more likely to fall from constant stress then there'd be a better watch on the creches so unfortunately it's likely to be the Sith Plot. Which actually makes sense!

The Jedi have been purposefully or not reacted hard against being anything like their Sith counterparts in the wake of the Ruusan Reformation. Their Code while good in itself is imperfect and the way things have built up, there's a huge misunderstanding in how the Jedi are perceived versus how the Jedi are intended. The Senate limits what the Jedi can do and in some cases the Jedi are treated more like Space Attack Dog Cops.

But...

What if there was a subtle shift in how the Jedi babies and Initiates are treated because of the Sith Plan? It's not intentional on the Jedi's part as a whole but there's a slight bend to how the Baby Jedis are handled. Even in IRL bullies are given more leeway and bullied kids are judged harder but a Jedi should be able to tell who really started things and who's lying.

The arrogance, pride, anger issues, and even issues with self-confidence (some Knights/Masters might be less willing to take on someone who doesn't properly display their skills with the saber) cause more would-be knights to phase out of the Temple whether they are like Bruck or like Obi.

The would-be Padawans either find better lives outside of the Temple or they possibly become bitter. The ones who WANTED to be Jedi Knights but were seen as being bad or wrong or ill-fitting. The kids who become Padawans could be too good at hiding their negative feelings, some peacock about, and some of them are mostly good until they reach a tipping point and become Worse. (A canonical example of someone known to be a jackass but trusted until the reveal: Krell).

The colder Jedi and the ones who come off as douchebags and dicks feed into the cultural perception of Jedi as Aloof Asshole to be feared. We straight up see people in Coruscant react to "Jedi Business" in Episode 2 like cops: don't get closer, don't draw attention to yourself, the person getting their arm lopped off did something but you Don't Know and Don't Want To Know, and one Absolute Idiot just moments before tried to sell drugs to a Jedi only to get Force Mind Tricked "I don't want to sell you Death Sticks, I want to go home and rethink my life".

And then of course we get Episode 3 with the Jedi as "war mongering people" who fight in the "civil war" against Ex-Jedi Dooku only to get thrown under the bus by Sidious who claims that they tried to kill him and now the Galaxy will be safe from the threat they pose. 3 years could be enough to make a shift but... considering all the faff about the "grand sith plan" then it'd make more sense than it's been centuries of prep and getting everything Just So not only for taking over the galaxy but RUINING how the Jedi are seen and how the Jedi raise people trusted to them.

Deliberately sowing discord not merely among the various planets but also setting the Jedi up to Fall or be crushed no matter what happens? That'd definitely take generations of Sith to get right.

(Partially inspired by a discussion with @evilminji .)

[goodfully]

a little delayed but i wrote most of this in my notes app waiting for internet access hahaha i finished reading the third book yesterday, mostly in the car, im in the middle of a trip with family and relatives so this might be more vague/disorganized. mm okay thoughts on "those who leave and those who stay"!

i mean all of this in a lighthearted way! but wow idk what i was expecting with nino, i was lowkey hoping he wouldnt be a major character in the third book. oh my god, i swear every time ninos name was revealed (the author of some article, somebodys friend, some babys father, etc..) i mentally rolled my eyes.. i get that hes an important character and its great how he encourages lenu with her academic work much more than pietro ever did, but wow, tbh ive had enough with this guy hahaha

okay! i think what i liked most about this book is that that while the first two books were centered on lenu and lila looking towards their future and escaping their neighborhood, the third book was so much of them both looking back on the past. by that i mean, both their own lives in that neighborhood in naples, as well as history and politics globally.

anyway im glad we got more political history in this book, it just makes sense to i think. lenu and lilas lives are very much affected by it, and always had been, but it becomes much more clear to them now that theyre older, altho ig in different ways. mm like understanding the connection between the violence in the neighborhood they grew up in and the systems of exploitation that exist globally (like imagine finding your first boyfriend is the leader of some fascist thugs that beat ppl up in front of the factory your friend works at). i think its important bc ever since the first book im sure that we've been hearing from both lenu and lila that they feel as tho something beyond their grasp and comprehension is keeping them from escaping from the lives they had/have. and like.. maybe theyve known it was the patriarchy, fascism... before they even knew what it was. ahh the stuff that lenu said in the beginning about how we cant really escape bc the world is poisoned everywhere. its a bleak view, but that part in the very beginning was ahhhhh...

oh god, lenu having daughters.. like.. more mother/daughter relationship things... the things girls learn from their mothers (dede and elsa in front of the mirror acting dissatisfied with the way they look.. i know it was a short, insignificant scene but i would have cried) and also. when lenus mother came to take care of her, and she said "i was afraid she would never return. but she always did"... ahh!!! and then when elena told her daughters about leaving their father and both of her daughters asked if she would take them or begged her to stay. screams. oh oh oh and every single time she notices that one the younger children resembles their father???

as much as i do adore lenu, i find myself attached to lila.. so when there was that big chunk of just purely lilas part of the story, i was excited (despite the very distressing events)... anyway thoughts on that lila part:

i was thinking about how much this part showed how revolutionary movements arent that straightforward, esp between the actual working class and the intellectual students, like when revolutionary movements arent led by the ones the revolution was made purposefully to liberate? ohh actually i have a lot of thoughts on this and the events that happened, i like how much ferrante talks about it, but ill keep it short.. the part with lilas speech in the pamphlet, the fight in front of the factory, pasquale and nadia disagreeing with lenu helping lila, local and state armed fascists, union organizers not truly representing the workers, its relation to the patriarchy etc..

also so heartbreaking, seeing lila lose her mind over her child, believing that the closer he is to her, the more likely he'll break.. like her. god god i understand that feeling, but i imagine its so much worse for lila when its her own child. that thing about feeling trapped in the same fate as your parents is just so so sad. ive literally never wanted to have my own children bc of this.

i know im projecting onto lila, but tbh the idea that lila is aroace is...!!! haha.. like when she was crying and telling enzo that she loves him and wishes every night to hold him close, but "beyond that i dont want anything." and hhfhrh idk i feel this way for a lot of ppl and know i risk being left if im unable to give what the other person in a relationship wants and they suffer for it. hh

oh! i think its cool that while the revolutionary/workers rights movement was a bigger thing for lila, the feminist movement was more significant for lenu.. god pietro was so??? idk why he was so insistent on following traditional husband/wife roles. i thought something was off about him since they first got engaged and he didnt care of her novel. tbh i am happy for her and hope she gets to be content with her self and her life in the next book. oh and the new thing that lenu writes is so interesting... i think maybe the women in the books would find it the truth for them, except probably lila. so it was interesting when alfonso tells lila that he wants to if he was a woman, hed want to be like lila.

oh some other random parts i keep thinking about: when she and lila were talking excitedly like when they were children, and the talk finally inspired something in her to write a second novel. and when lila read it, and cries. and they both say they dont know who they are without the other.. and when lenu starts rambling about how she believes lila has the intense capacity for apocalyptic violence like she did at the start of the second book, i go crazy i love that hahaha. hmm and gigliola... i remember not thinking much of her yet in the first two books, but really i like her and feel a lot for her.

mm there might be stuff i forgotten to mention, but ill end this here for now! i cant believe its only one book left already...

[thehydromancer]

Lordship at Last; A Scrub's Tale

After 268 hours (I know) and 173 levels (I KNOW), I finally cleared my first Elden Ring run. I... love it. It took me a long time to realize exactly why, but when it hit me it made perfect sense. The whole game is the Water Temple. I don't think I need to explain that to anyone. A simple statement, but the more you think about it, the implications are layered and sublime. I vaguely recall an ancient game mag interview with some dev or another who, when asked what his dream project would be, described a grittier Zelda with more subtle storytelling and more interesting uses in combat for traditional equipment such as the hookshot. I remember loving the concept, and later Breath of the Wild/Tears of the Kingdom. Elden Ring though feels like the logical conclusion to exploring the freedom and flexibility of modern fantasy adventure games, the masterpiece bookend to the world of possibilities that the OG NES Zelda began to reveal to us.

And what a journey its been. My first Souls-like game, starting out as a bandit named Torrent (IMAGINE MY SURPRISE WHEN THE GAME {I THOUGHT} ADDRESSED MY CHARACTER BY NAME IN THE FIRST FIVE MINUTES!!!), not understanding how shields worked, and grossly under leveling vigor (hell finished with only 40 before hearing after the fact that 60 is typically the goal). Dying to the lake side ruins bats again. And again. And again. Standing in the Church of Elleh thinking I was safe, studying the Limgrave Tree Sentinel with my shiny new telescope, only for it to drop the walls on me. Not understanding how elemental damages work till the last 3rd of the game. Breezing through some bosses only to be kneecapped physically and spiritually again and again by a pair of mangy mutts, cocaine bear, biblically accurate angel bubbles, or simply a zombie holding a torch causally away from their body. Spending the first half of the game dying in numbers that would make Rosus himself say 'hey slow down there partner, thanks for putting my kids through Raya Lucaria with all those runes you lost, but I really need a break.' Forgetting I'd picked up the crystal tear for cleansing during the Mohg fight, instead trying everything up to and including Law of Regression to clear the triple ring status effect during the fight.

Ever so slowly, painfully, learning the ins and outs of the game. Slowly morphing from a dex curved sword user with throwing knives and a bow to a mage knight desperately cheesing his way through the last 60 hours of the game. SO. MUCH. BACKTRACKING. I must have revisited Stormveil over the course of 100 hours, finding something new every time. Exploring every nook and cranny in the world, scrapping runes together as hard as I could in the early game, only to be shocked at how easy leveling became in the second half of the game. Hosting tryouts for every Spirit Ashes like I was assembling the outer-gods-damned Avengers to fight Thanos wielding the Elden Gauntlet. ACCIDENTALLY STUMBLING UPON DRAGON ELDEN LORD, WHOOPS SORRY SIR(S?) DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOUR ETERNAL TIMELESS SLUMBER! In the end, somehow, managing to defeat all demigods and I'd guess 95% of the bosses in the game. I know I missed a few, and there was 3 or 4 I purposefully decided to ignore for my own sanity (if Blaidd had been half red wolf he'd of been the next Elden Lord I swear).

Bosses that gave me the greatest trouble at the time;

Margit (pretty sure we killed each other at the same time, so I never got his runes)

Godrick (I'd like to think it'd be a different story now that I've developed some skill and muscle memory but boy was this a grind)

Dragon Tree Sentinel guarding Lyndell (probably over 50 deaths, just the worst, only read about the additional summons later!)

The Elden Beast (how do pure melee builds beat this guy!? I had trouble keeping up with it using various ranged spells, the opportunities to stab it felt few and far inbetween)

Bosses that I was shocked at how easy they were based on memes/carbot/the community;

Radahn (only demigod I beat my first time, still an awesome battle)

Placidusax (one of the most enjoyable fights in hindsight, really felt like I was hitting my stride with the ebb and flow of battle finally)

Malenia, Blade of Miquella (in fairness was probably grossly over leveled by this point, downed in 3 or 4 attempts)

Radagon (the cheese was real but I was also serving it)

Special shout out to the meteorite staff and rock sling spell, the true MVPs of my run and the breakers of bosses, especially dragons. The carian knight sword and grandeur skill had an incredible run until I was able to nab the Sword of Night and Flame, and eventually the Dark Moon Greatsword itself, fulfilling my transformation into Fierce Deity Tarnished. Loretta's War Sickle was surprisingly fun as well for non boss fights.

As I look ahead to the DLC and meander/experiment through a NG+ or 3 while I wait, I can't help but wonder, probably a true dark horse theory... are we, the Tarnished, in some way, shape, or form... Miquella? Why would Malenia, instead of seeking him out to rescue her beloved brother, wait for him in the one place she knows he isn't... convinced he'd return... when it was I, Tarnished, all along who returned? Silly I know. But Torrent (I hate that I have to specify this, the horse) also reacted to Torrent (the Tarnished) in a way that felt more meaningful the second time around after having experienced most of the story. Why would Melina choose us (assuming we were her only attempt) over all others? Did she even truly know?

Alright that was a lot. I wish I'd kept a running journal of my play through, there was just so much wonder and discovery. I look forward to picking up Bloodborne and Lies of P to continue feeding my new addiction!

[gctchell]

In her "from now on ; home again" verse, I purposefully leave the way Lilith was able to gain her leave from Heaven vague (outside of If You Do Not Let Her Go , Bad Things Will Happen ) for fun possibilities and different explanations, and one of the situations I like to think of is Lilith finding out about the Extermination upon the Hotel from Lute and immediately accosting her.

Lute does her best to put up a fight, she's running on pure adrenaline, rage, and heartache from battle and that does get her some leeway, but Lilith is an ancient being, and Lute is just fresh from being beaten in battle. Ultimately, Lute is caught within the nightmare weave of Lilith's hair and constricted, dragged into Queen's grasp and bitten deeply in the neck, and rendered down to seven years of the original vampire's curbed bloodlust.

While not drank to the point of comatose or even death, she is to the point of only being able to hang like a doll within Lilith's arms, barely conscious, and still finding it within full right to be pissed off about the situation. Everything is a blur, only configuring to muffled speaking and clearing just enough to see an alarmed Sera gawking at her. Her hearing bleeds in and out in terms of clarity, but she does hear the most important part of the conversation;

Lilith is demanding she be let free, and if she is rejected, that will come with the penalty of Lute's death before an audience to show just how merciless the supposed merciful Sera is.

Lute feels a watered down confidence that her own personal refusal is made clear. She swears she hears herself say; "Don't you do it, don't you let this bitch return to Hell. She's OURS. Don't give her what she wants!" -- everyone else hears 'don't let' and 'bitch' amongst a spill of slurring. Everyone present knows Lute enough to get her point.

The tension is palpable. All eyes, innocent and horrified, are on Sera. Lilith is shortening the time, tilting Lute's head with two fingers and keeping her eyes on one of the Speakers for the Voice of Heaven, all willingness to make the scenario into a nightmare.

Sera breathes deep, and tells her she may go.

Lute is dropped in a heap, and Lilith departs immediately.

Lute is pissed. Pissed. Pissed at Lilith, and pissed at Sera. She doesn't have the energy to express it outside of hissing and growling, and slurs riddled with curses, but she is making it as audible as she can as she is taken to the infirmary.

From that point on, she has it out for the Morningstars personally - namely Lilith. Adam is gone, and where he had holes in his neck from being bitten by Lilith for the first time many, many ages ago in Eden, Lute, as an ironic and sick twist of fate, now bears the same in her neck. Golden and glowing.

This little route could definitely be called 'lute's no good very bad day' lmao

[ask-thedepressedkidatthetable]

SOCIAL PRESENTATION AND CONDUCT:

Based around what the general outward perception would be of your muse based on their social habits. We as writers and rp partners know the ins and outs of characters, but I think a lot about how those characters would actually be perceived by those around them who only have their interactions to go off of. Usual rules: repost don’t reblog,  bold for always,  italicized for sometimes and strikethrough for never or n/a.

Introductions in relaxed social settings: If it’s a relaxed social occasion, Danny doesn’t see why other people in attendance wouldn’t already know his name .  .  . If no one else is preforming introductions, Danny will give his name. He doesn’t shake hands or touch others unless he really trusts them. Paranoid about contaminants on the skin.

Introductions in formal/professional settings: Danny still thinks people should know his name in formal settings. However, if they’re too stupid to handle proper etiquette, he’ll still give his first name. The nuance of fitting into different social classes is lost on him entirely. If you’re above others, taking, dolling out misery, rather than taking your resources to make things better, Danny thinks they deserve nothing less than being spit upon.

Meeting new people: warm.  cold. guarded.  welcoming. friendly. rigid.  skeptical. judgmental.  chatty.  shy.  timid. outgoing.  easily initiates conversation. waits for someone else to begin conversation. closed-off.  intimidating.  approachable.  cheerful. internally wary.  externally wary.  small talk. eager to become personable.  avoids overly personal topics and questions. likes meeting new people.  neutral about meeting new people.  anxious when meeting new people. dislikes meeting new people.

Crowded social settings: social butterfly. wallflower. stays close to those they know. willing to branch out on their own. comfortable.  thriving.  anxious.  wary.  hyper-vigilant.  observant.  self-absorbed. attentive. distracted.  disassociates.  overwhelmed easily.  extroverted.  introverted. ambivert.  people watches. inclusive.  exclusive. hospitable.  unapproachable.  charismatic.  purposefully attracts attention to themselves. unintentionally attracts attention to themselves.  charmingly awkward. uncomfortably awkward.  suave. unassuming.  pretentious.  code-switching.

Conversation conduct: attentive.  distractible.  dominates. listens.  well-balanced.  shares. withholds.  keeps focus on the other.  likes to keep focus on themselves.  tries to keep a balanced exchange of attention.  opens up easily.  avoids vulnerability.  encourages vulnerability in others. uncomfortable with displays of vulnerability. rambles.  concise.  wordy. swears casually. swears conservatively.  never swears. descriptive. vague.  blunt. flowery.  analogies. wandering topics.  stays on topic.  meandering.  focused.  tangents.  reserved.  poised. expressive.  easily ends interaction.  finds ways to continue interaction.  lingers until the other indicates they’re done.  anxious to fill silence.  comfortable with silence.

Neurodivergents; Masked versus unmasked presentation: While calling Danny neurotypical would be a stretch, he doesn’t really put on a mask as to who he is. With people he trusts, he trusts wholeheartedly and will go into situations with less suspicion. Danny’s pretty genuine to who he is in a lot of ways.

Fashion presentation: colorful.  muted.  neutrals.  neons.  pastels.  academic.  office.  business casual. casual. business formal.  camp.  conservative.  sensual.  bright.  dark.  frilly.  form fitting.  somber.  plain.  whimsical.  rigid.  monochromatic.  light academia.  dark academia.  alternative.  goth.  punk.  grunge.  pastel goth.  boho.  ethnic traditional.  modernized traditional. glamorous.  elegant. experimental.  vintage.  artsy.  chic.  follows trends.  doesn’t pay attention to trends. vibrant.  practical.  sporty.  androgynous.  femme.  masc.  (A note here: All of Danny’s clothes are gifted, stolen, or found in gutters, so as long as it can be made to stay on his body, he’ll wear it. I think you can imagine how this ends up.)

Typical outfit? Boots if he has found them, multiple pairs of socks, baggy jeans or tactical pants, t-shirts over long sleeves and a large hoodie. If he finds them, he doesn’t mind wearing stylized masks to hide his face. Surgical masks and anything of the like are an instantaneous no.

When others need comfort they: If it’s an emotional situation, rather than a practical one needing solutions, Danny might try to help “logic it out” or, because he’s never learned to deal with his emotional distress, would do nothing. Either they’ll repress it or ride it out on their own.

When they need comfort: Danny will deal with it on his own. If another person is involved, Danny will come up with what he views as an acceptable solution. Take it or leave it .  .  . Comforting words can help a lot here, along with gentle touches. But only if he trusts the other. He just wants to know that everything will be okay, and that there isn’t any danger. Like, really know it.

Typical disposition and demeanor: Danny tends to wander a lot, studying everything in his surroundings. Speaking to others is an odd mixture of not speaking unless he’s spoken to, and asking unprompted questions, which leads to unprompted judgement. I think Danny comes off as a bit chaotic, innocent to the ways of the world, arrogant, and a touch philosophical. He has an intense interest in the ways of the world and people. He thinks it’s our duty as living beings to make things better. Or at least fair.

Tagged by: @taiinted Tagging: @heartxshaped-bruises - @eeliabwrites - @fromxbeginningxtoxend - @supcrfriends - @x-brokencrowns - @got-fire - and anyone else who wants to do this!

[inamagicalhallucination]

merlin but its just him sneaking out magic users to safety in ridiculous and obvious ways 

like it starts with him sneaking into the dungeons and leading them out the night before their execution but making sure he has an alibi for the night just in case (it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t tbh arthur will be there to explain how his dimwitted manservant could never pull this off)

then gradually he doesn’t even wait until it’s night (working for gaius and for arthur is hard and that doesn’t even account for his job as arthur’s secret protector - he has no time)

there’s a scene where some evil magic user tries to assassinate arthur but merlin finds out and

merlin: if i may ask, why are you trying to kill arthur

evil magic user: BECAUSE OF THE EVILS HIS FATHER HAS PLAGUED THIS LAND WITH

merlin: ah but you’re not killing his father, you’re killing arthur

evil magic user: I AM STOPPING UTHER’S BLOOD FROM CONTINUING TO POISON MORE AND MORE PEOPLE

merlin: well that’s not really fair to arthur, is it? your anger is understandable but arthur is not his father, it would be unfair to damn him for his father’s sins. instead if we show arthur that magic is not evil, he will know his father’s ways were wrong

contemplating evil magic user: how can we put our trust on a chance

merlin: arthur’s a good man, my word may mean little, but i truly know him. would you like to come up for tea and we can discuss it thoroughly and also how you should spend your energy finding other magic users so you have a community and you can all plan for a better future together

not so evil magic user: ... yes please

//

magic users who don’t have anywhere to go all get sent to hunith’s house where she helps them find their footing and sometimes they stay in ealdor and sometimes they leave but they’re safe

everyone in ealdor side-eyes the random ass people hunith’s kid keeps on sending her but ultimately dont say shit because god knows uther would just kill all of them for assisting magic or some bs and their own king isnt better

//

there is a scene where merlin sneaks a magic user out and they thank him for risking his life and merlin says “nah don’t worry i do this all the time” and then makes a note to himself to tell arthur that the security at camelot is awful (after arthur becomes king of course)

//

sometimes when all else fails merlin pretends to know whatever person is on the run and makes a big show about missing them and no way could they have magic maybe he uses his magic to block theirs or if theyre a druid cover their druid marks and yeah

//

he pretends mordred is his younger brother and no one questions it

//

arthur knows what he’s doing and corners him like “ARE YOU STUPID?? YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS MY FATHER WILL FIND OUT”

and merlin’s like “no offense but your dad aint known for being smart babe”

and arthurs like thats treason but he helps cover up for merlin anyway

//

merlin helping someone sneak out but then bringing them to arthur’s room real quick because he forgot something there

//

merlin using the residents of the castle’s stupidity and obliviousness against them

//

leon knows whats going on and he brings it up to arthur before arthur figures it out but he does it vaguely and arthur thinks its about his crush on merlin and swears leon to secrecy and leons like “aight” and helps cover for merlin too

//

arthur still doesn’t know about merlin’s magic

//

leon does though and he thinks its another thing that him and arthur have sworn to secrecy about

//

there’s now a place near ealdor where magic users can go for safety if they don’t go to hunith directly like a magic hotel thing

yeah

//

merlin accidentally and kinda purposefully at times (but mostly on accident) helps unite the magic community and that causes less people to go evil

unfortunately, it also means that people who are too far gone in their desire for revenge or just in their own evilness are more organized but merlin is strong so its okay and he doesn’t have to deal with half assed attempts made by people who don’t think they have any other choice

//

the servants all know whats up but they don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit

//

yeah thats all ive got for now