#Malak arcana

[xaharadesert]

MC’s Familiar Having a Crush on LI’s Familiar - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6 + Familiars)

A/N: another poll winner! The request for this one specifically asked for the reactions of the LIs and their familiars, so it doesn’t really fall into “x MC” territory :) also, I’m leaving the species of MC’s familiar purposefully vague, but with the assumption that it’s not the same species as LI’s! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes!

TW: swearing in Lucio’s section

❤️Julian❤️

As a man of science, he has many questions

Are relationships between different species common in the magical world? Does a “crush” indicate that familiars have a similar level of sentience to humans? Is this an innate trait, or something that manifests as a result of magic?

The temptation to launch a scientific investigation is strong in this situation, but he restrains himself

It feels immoral to toy around with love, even if he doesn’t really understand it

However, that means that he’ll be supporting this crush from both the standpoint of a friend and a scientist

🌑Malak🌑

He had never really thought about romance before

Most of his time was spent bothering people and collecting shiny things, and he was content with that life

So finding out that another creature had a crush on him was an odd experience, to say the least

Not to mention that it was someone he already knew, and shared a strong connection with

He thinks he might give it a try. He won’t be sharing his collection of shiny things, though

🧡Portia🧡

Immediately thinks it’s the cutest thing to ever happen

100% supportive, no matter the species difference

Gives your familiar the shovel talk (Pepi is her baby, after all)

Makes all the classic parent jokes about keeping the door open

After making that joke, she sits in silence and contemplates the reality of the relationship, and now also has many questions

Will not be asking them though; might ask Julian about it later

🐈Pepi🐈

Embarrassed by her mother, which is difficult to achieve, given that she is a cat and feels no shame

When she finds out about the crush, she just kind of shrugs it off

It makes sense, after all; she is a cat, and cats are perfect

If the crush seems serious, then she’s willing to reciprocate

Probably would not be the best partner— she prefers to spend her time napping in the sun, so if your familiar is high energy then it might not work out

💛Lucio💛

What the fuck

Like, genuinely, what the fuck

I mean, he’s not really one to judge, given his own weird tastes

But, like, really? How the fuck does that happen?

Thinks his dog(s) can do better than your familiar, and makes this well-known

🐾Mercedes OR Melchior🐾

Makes perfect sense to him— he would fall in love with himself too

Not really interested in reciprocating though: he is a very busy boy

Many squirrels to chase and bones to chew

May pursue a more dedicated friendship, though

And if he’s feeling generous, then he may share one of his toys with your familiar

💚Muriel💚

A bit hesitant at first

He’s a very reserved kind of man, and he really only has Inanna by his side all the time

So he doesn’t know how he feels about losing her to any degree

But if it makes her happy, then he’ll support it

After all, it’s your familiar, and he trusts you

🐺Inanna🐺

Really did not expect that

Immediately rejects the crush, partly out of panic, because she really doesn’t want anything to change

But over time, she realizes she might like something more with your familiar

Eventually, the crush is returned

Mostly, she truly feels comfortable with it when she realizes she will always have Muriel’s support

💙Asra💙

Makes perfect sense to him; he’s loved you for years, so it’s only natural that Faust would form a bond with your familiar as well

He thinks it’s really cute, and encourages them to spend time together

Sometimes jokes with Faust about her “snake charm”

As a bonus, your familiars spending time together means that the two of you can spend more time together as well

Most definitely plans double dates (platonic or romantic)

🐍Faust🐍

Faust had a crush on your familiar before they had a crush on her

So she’s delighted to see it’s returned!

Very enthusiastic about having a partner

If your familiar is larger, then she’s hitching a ride whenever they hang out

Very cuddly for a snake, especially if your familiar gives off body heat

💜Nadia💜

Keeps her thoughts to herself while she tries to understand how exactly your familiar can have a crush on hers

She doesn’t want to judge what she doesn’t understand, so she asks you a few questions about it

Once she gets the gist of it, she’s very supportive, and finds it rather cute

Keeps an eye on Chandra though, since she knows her familiar likes her personal space, and helps to enforce boundaries

Overall thinks it’s harmless fun

🦉Chandra🦉

Eh

She’s not into romance, and let’s your familiar down as easily as she can

Still wants to be friends, but needs her own space

She’s a very solitary creature, and she has no desire to change

Will still occasionally be more affectionate to your familiar when she sees that they’re feeling down

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Malak, being Julian's familiar, is desperately fond of you and genuinely lost about how to show it.

He and his master already have a relationship comprised of misunderstandings and begrudging appreciation, so he knows that trying to get Julian to tell you that he wants to be your favorite raven is not going to help him. He also doesn't want to mess things up in his own corvid fervor between you and his master. What he does know, however, is that the silly doctor he loses so many feathers stressing about is always ready to pull out the stops for a romantic rival.

Julian doesn't know why the bird is suddenly so attached to you, but he's starting to feel a little shown up. The damn thing brings you trinkets, accompanies you wherever you go, amuses you whenever you're lonely, and even nestles up to your cheeks with fluffed feathers and soft little croaks when you're sad. The doctor doesn't feel jealous, necessarily, but he is feeling ... upstaged. This won't do.

You have a bit of an inkling about why Malak has been so overtly affectionate in the last month (something you hope stays that way) and why Julian has been dialing up the charm in the last two weeks or so (something you also enjoy). And no, you don't see any harm in quietly pitting them against each other if it means they both stop overworking themselves.

[lagsemantics]

Dubious little creatures getting up to mischief

(I made it through the finals btw ty y’all!!)

[muriels-brainrot]

💚Muriel Headcanon #7

Muriel would have made a great lighthouse worker, if he ever had different side jobs as a teenager [before he became a gladiator]

Spending every waking moment by himself working, cooking, eating, writing - it's basically the exact same lifestyle he has now except his sleeping hours would be in the day than at night. Because lighthouse workers needed to keep the tower light burning bright every 4 hours until sunrise.

He'd probably still have his hobbies, if not more new ones, to keep him company. His own clothes are probably knitted by himself

[moon-upright]

if i could animate, i tell you, this would be julian and malak.

[majulians-groupie]

Headcannon idea! The main 6 finding mc stuck on the roof. How did they get there? Who knows!.

I LOVE THIS!!SOO....

Sorry that it took me so long to update,I will be doing all of the ideas that you guys recommended,it is just that it may take some time since studying architecture consumes my life energy.(LITERALLY,MY INSOMNIA ALMOST IMPROVED SINCE THE TERM STARTED😭)

I started writing a prologue to set the scene and I accidentally again wrote a 3.5k fluff one-shot.I'M SORRY I HAD TO,when I realised that my bullets were TOO long for a headcannon post , there was no coming back really.SOO,I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing it,it was such a fun idea.Thanks for the feedback,it is amazing when we guys interact with eachother and share ideas!My dear anon,I hope you enjoy the belated reply!🪷✨️

EDIT:This idea fits surprisingly well with #vesuviaweekly 's latest theme,so I will be adding some very minor changes to make the story fit into that theme perfectly and submit it!♡

•To the fic:

♡JulianxMc FLUFF

"An unconventional proposal"♡

!(Just to disclaim,I tried to keep this gender neutral,so the words "knight" and "damsel" refer more to the stereotypes of these roles rather than the gender they traditionally come with")!

It was a casual Monday morning.You had just woken up and you were getting ready for the day.You decided you wanted to wear your favorite opal ring that was a perfect match to the earrings you were also wearing today.The thing is,the ring was nowhere to be found in your jewelry box.You angrily muttered to yourself as you were searching your entire bedroom,making a mess out of everything.It wasn't that you were so desperate to wear it today,it was just that this ring wa special,as it was a gift from Julian.

Julian,the sweetheart he was,had noticed you starring at it at the display of that jewelry shop every time you passed by.You were hesitant to buy it for yourself,since it was kinda expensive,but your softboi doctor decided it had been a while since he gave you a gift.He indeed, was a firm believer that gifts were not only meant gor birthdays and special occasions but for any moment you wish to give a little bit of joy to a person you love.He also generally loved to throw little surprises for you from time to time.

As you were getting angry that you couldn't find it anywhere,you see something shining from the window.It was your own ring,trapped in Malak's beak.You make a dissapointed gesture as you walk towards the raven

-"Of course.."

"Malak!Please give it back,I know it is shiny and you love it,but I don't want you to drop it like you did my necklace last time!Someone had snatched it off the street in seconds!

You knew it sounded ridiculous,but you could swear Malak glared at you before turning his back on you

-"OHH don't act offended mister!You got to admit you are just as clumsy as Ilya is.That's why you are so perfect for eachother!",you say in a fake sweet voice

Apparently your smartalk has only managed to piss him off more,since he decided to fly away.

"FUCK!"

As you climb up the window and jump to the front garden ,you notice malak on the roof,looking at you with a smug expression.You couldn't understand how a bird could express emotion so well.On the other hand,it was of course,Julian who would have the most dramatic familiar to ever exist.

-Malak come down!I have to open the shop!Asra is away with his parents!Come on!

As Malak literally ignores your entire existence, you hastily fetch the ladder  climbing on top of the roof and screaming muttering to yourself.

-"I.NEVER.SIGNED.UP.FOR.MORNING.RAVEN.SITTING"

You calm yoursef down as you try to keep balance, and you slowly get close to the thelittlethiefbundle Malak.

-"Please Malak,come on!I haven't even had coffee yet!"

As Malak gets a little bit  sympathetic to the well known fact that you were INDEED not a morning person,--and has been entertained enough by the whole to ordeal to get bored of your little cat and mouse game--he decided to fly back to you.

However,as he makes a movement and gains momentum,a stone hits his body and he falls to the ground,dropping the ring to the garden.You get over your shock as you see a bunch of kids no older than 12 years of age ,holding slingshots, laughing at the scene.

-"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" you exclaimed angrily

"You can't hit animals like that!"

-"Oh but it's fun!"One of the kids,that seems to be the oldest and the possible "leAdEr" of the group replies as the rest keep laughing loudly.

-"No it is not!You could have seriously hurt him!" You notice that thankfully Malak is okay,and he is slowly flying back to you.

"What if his wing had been broken?"

-"But he stole your ring,we were helping YOU!" another kid exclaims.

-"He was just messing around!All pets do stupid things from time to time,but you are never supposed to be violent with them!"

-"Oh calm down nerd" the same kid says,which earns even more raucous laughter from the rest of the group

-"You little s-"

Your insult is interrupted by surprise as you notice one of the kids picking up your ring from the sidewalk.

-"Put that down,it's not yours!"

You make a movement towards the ladder,but two of the kids notice you and before you can reach it,they grab it and throw it down.

-"HEYY!" You scream as you almost loose your balance,but thankfully steadying yourself up.

-"Since you don't seem so upset about that ring being stolen,maybe it is time for it to go to someone that appreciates it" the oldest kid shouts cheeckily.

He picks up your earring from the floor and makes a move to leave with the rest of his little gang following him.Even though Malak could be injured,that doesn't seem to stop him from immediately flying towards the kid's hair and grabbing it with his tallons.

You stare at the scene in horror as the rest of the kids try to untagle Malak from their friend's hair,but to avail.When one of the kids gets particularly aggressive, the raven bites them sharply making the kid run away screaming and crying.Seeing that they ought not to mess with Malak, the rest of them run away as well.The oldest kid,now alone with Malak still pulling his hair rather aggressively,tries to grab malak from his neck.This throws off Malak,and surprisingly,in one swift motion,the kid manages to get free from his tallons,but the raven still chases him down in hope of getting the ring back,leaving you alone on the roof.As you try to get over the shock of what you just witnessed,you can't manage to feel a little bit bad about the little rascal,but can't deny that he got a well deserved lesson about both animal cruelty and stealing.

"That will teach him some respect",you muttered to no one but yourself.

"Do some parents even bother to teach their children basic principles?"

You quickly realize there is literally nothing to help you climb back to the ground safely that does not involve a great amount of risk,a self induced levitation spell included.Since there is no one around to help you in case of injury,you decided to chill on the roof and enjoy the scenic view of your roof.It was literally one of the reasons you and Julian chose this house.It may be a little small cosy and a little far from the city center,but the view that hill gave you and the peace the little grove of trees is creating more than makes up for it.

The sounds of the cicadas and the birds chirping reminded you of your hometown. It wasn't long ago since you suddenly started getting flashbacks from the life before .

It first started with blur,infant memories of your early childhood,which mostly consisted of sounds and smells rather than images.As the months passed,your dreams were becoming filled with memories of you and your siblings playing,singing,fighting and your parents scolding you or laughing at scene.Your memories were still kinda foggy ,and their timeline was not exactly linear , but it gets better and clearer over time and still is of course,better than not remembering nothing at all.

You almost don't realize you begin to doze off,as the last thing you remember is watching a little chipmunk stuff it's cheecks with some seeds he found on the ground.

It was a lazy late evening.Last day of the week,and Vesuvia was going through its golden hour tranquility,where the the market stalls and the shops would close,giving their place to the lively taverns and dimly lit pubs.The only people left on the streets were merchants that were gathering up their stuff,or workers that were sheepishly returning home from their jobs.Julian was one of them, and was tired .

Even though open clinic days were the most entertaining, as he had the chance to socialize and come in touch with people from all around the city,there was always one vital issue.Along with his energy, they would also drain his social battery.And yes,even he,the infamous theater kid  community theater star doctor had one.

And when in times like that,he could only speak to one person in the entire world,his darling MC.He was feeling a bit dim as they had not spoken to eachother at all today,since he woke up earlier than them,and didn't have a heart to wake them up.Limiting himself to a kiss on the forehead and a silent promise of one of their regulars cuddling-while-they-look-at-the stars-and-discusssng-about-life-while-slowly-falling-asleep-in-each-others-arms sessions,he left a goodmorning note on the kitchen and left for the clinic.

It was insane to him how well they communicate. How speaking to them somehow would make his mind relaxed,his chest lighter and his soul calmer,as if all the troubles in the world were insignificant.He was so greatful of those little moments of serenity.Six years ago,he wouldn't be able to convince himself that the existence of one person,could make him understand the importance of cherishing life rather than enduring it.

As he reached their home ,his sweet thoughts were interrupted by genuine surprise which didn't know whether it should turn to concern or laughter.

Not only MC was sitting on the roof alone,but they appeared to be calmly sleeping as if nothing was wrong.Julian quickly reached the house and went under the spot of the roof that MC was laying.He wanted to make sure they hadn't somehow fainted.To how on earth he found them unconscious on the fucking roof,was problem for another minute.

-"MC!MC ARE YOU OKAY?OMG

WHAT THE HEL-"

-"OH darling HI!"

You woke up startled,squinting your eyes,smiling at the site of your beloved doctor.

"You alright?You look tired!Was open clinic worse than usual?"

-"I...uh..WHAT?"

Julian could seriously not find the words to express his question and surprise about not only your whereabouts,but to also as to how could you take them for granted.

Seeing the confused look on his face made you remember that he indeed,found you sleeping on the fucking roof,so he pretty much deserved an explanation.

-"OHHH fuck.Yeah..about that...well,it's kind of a long story.."

-"Yeah I ASSUMED that love.Mind filling me in?You know I can't resist them",he smirks and looks at you playfully,now that he is sure that you are okay.He really can't wait to hear that one.

As you fill him in on the events of the morning,you begin to realize Malak has not returned yet.

-"You think something has happened to him?"you say worriedly.

-"No love,he is alright!I actually saw him chilling on his birdhouse at the clinic's garden before I left.No need to worry about him!He honestly looked rather calm, nestling and eating his snacks.He actually even accepted the almonds I have been trying to make him eat off my hand for ages.He also did not appear injured.Your knight in shining armor probably got tired and wanted to rest a little.."

-"But my ring..."

-"There is no use crying over tangible goods my dear."

-"But it was from you!",you said in an almost childlike naivety.

-"I will always be here,ready to go to the bowels of the earth,to fetch the finest of rings this world has to offer,one worthy to match your beauty,my fair damsel.But first,I am afraid I will have to assist your safe return back to the ground."

You see that look on his face,the spark in his gaze and his polished way-too-charming-for-his-own-damn-good smirk of his.He now is in theater mode. Well,there is really only one way from now on...

-"Oh my dear knight,thank goodness for your arrival!I was beginning to worry I will stay here for ages!Who knows what would happen if I were to miss the harvest ball?It would be such a scandal!"

-"I don't know whether you could really avoid that my fair lady.Court has been whispering you know.They speak of your shenanigans.They say that you are a scandal waiting to happen."

He throws the flirtiest and cheeckiest expression.

-"Oh..that's what have they been saying now haven't they?And where do you stand,curious knight?Do you wish to undig the secrets the face of the next subject of royal gossip is holding?While you also pretend to offer me guardianship nevertheless!How dishonorable of you!How dare you carry that shield and look me in the eyes?"

-"Honestly love, I wasn't exactly looking at your eyes at the moment though they are the most beautiful th..OH...um",Julian stutters as he realizes he broke character,which is very unusual for him.

"I am terribly sorry,my lovely vision!I wholeheartedly swear to you that my intentions were as pure as the light of the morning sun!It is just that I got enchanted by your glowing presence my dear!And can you really blame my curiousity?Who would not want to learn more about the secrets that angelic face holds?Oh,the witty and devilish thoughts everyone whispers you are capable of!I could only hope of ever gaining your trust to share them with me!"

As he steadies the ladder and carefully climbs towards you,he extends his arm.

"My love,I am happy to announce your little adventure is over!I am here to assist your safe return to the ground !Would you do me the honor of-

As Julian speaks a loud caw is heard from a distance.

-"Malak!" you exclaimed!

Malak flies towards Julian's hand with an incredible speed,dropping none other but your ring to his hand.

"Heyy!You got it back!Thanks buddy!You are amazing!" you excitedly say to him

As you turn towards Julian,you begin to realize,that he is positioned on a level lower than you,now with a ring on his hand.

Your nervoussness and awkwardness betray you as you simply stare at him,biting your lips,not knowing how to break that damn iceberg the ice

-"Uhhhh...."

You could see Julian's cheecks getting scarlet,his gaze anxiously going from the ring,to you .After a few very long seconds,he starts staring at the distance,his anxious expression ,turns into a michevious one with a playfull smirk appearing on his face.However,his gaze hid something more.A meaningful and deep look.If you didn't know him that well,you wouldn't also have noticed that the michevious looks was followed by another very specific expression.The expression he made when he realised a situation was getting serious.Our lovely doctor,master of improv,is actually able to handle this rather serious situation more than well.

Your thoughts are racing in your head,not daring to think that he would actually turn this into-

-"So...!!!!"he abruptly interrupts your inner monologue.

He clears his throat,trying to hide his nervousness.He really was a great actor.You wouldn't have realised the panic that hid behind that well practiced barrier if you didn't know him as much as you do.He may knew how to conceal the twitch of his eyelids,and the biting of his lower lip with practiced ease,but you could almost hear his brain-gears gritting.

"My darling MC,you royal Highness.My beautiful flower,sweet dove,light of my life in the darkest of moments and the most treacherous of times!I came here with a proposal!Your return to the ground can not only be done with the utmost of safety,but the acceptance of an offer.An offer that holds the most sacred of promises.A promise to cherish you,to protect you,to love you endlessly and stand by your side as you do what you always do,being the amazing person that you are!From the moment I first saw you I could realize that!Smart,funny,witty,and beautiful with the kindest of souls and the purest of hearts!Always down for a great adventure,one that would make one of the finest of stories to share with our beloved ones over warm drinks,or for us to remember when life shows it's harsh side to us!Always ready to sacrifice their own needs to help others,to open their home to everyone needing shelter and defending the ones that have been wronged even when they are not able to do it for their own selves!A true knight,hiding behind a damsels disguise!I could only dream of being a part of your legendary tale!Seeing it unfold,as the years pass,right in front of my eyes!The greatest of honors a kinght could be granted!Will you, my lovely vision,my comrade in crime,accept my humble offer?

You can't seem to be able to hide your surprise.A huge smile seems to be glued on your face as small tears escape your eyelids.To this day,when you recall this lovely and sweet memory,you still don't understand how on earth you were able to stay in character.

-"My lovely and brave knight!My dashing warrior,one able to overcome the darkest pits of both the mind and the soul.When I first saw you,you blinding presence was able to lit my dark mind,and give me hope.Hope, that things could start to make sense,as they never did around me.You were the last piece of a very chaotic but worth owning puzzle.You were right by my side as everything around me fell apart,as everything I ever knew about my world crumbled before me. As one of the biggest of revelations hit me during the most vulnerable of moments.But you were there.You stood by my side,supported me, became the backbone I needed to keep myself steady and keep fighting,as if we had no other choice if we wanted to protect the world as we knew it.You showed me what true strength meant.The strength of the mind,trust and the strength of patience.These are the ones that allow you to be vulnerable enough to accept the deepest of changes and thus,allowing you to evolve.Thanks to you, I stepped out of my comfort zone,and began the journey of discovering my new self,since the one I used to have was so abruptly taken from me.Thanks to you,I have learned to embrace change and move on,not dwelling into chasing a shadow of a long forgotten past.I learned to look into the future.And you my love,are my future!So yes,it would be only natural to accept your offer,and be your partner in life,along being your no 1 partner in crime!"

I throw a not so subtle wink at the last line.However, as soon as I finish pouring my heart to him,I realise I can not hold my tears anymore.But it is not just me.Julian does not even bother to wipe his own tears as he leaps from the last step of the ladder towards me and gathers me into his embrace.I almost feel I could dissappear into his arms,as he holds me as tight as humanly possible without hurting me and cradles my head,more tears of joy falling into my hair.He kisses my forehead and then we share a very emotional and deep kiss that turns into more and more.I feel him smile into my lips,and indeed,a big genuine laugh escapes him.I am now hold his face as I gently try to wipe his tears with my thumbs,beaming at him.

-"Happy about something"?

-"Only about the fact that my partner made me the happiest man alive!!And yeah,being the happiest man alive usually makes you look...I dont know..HAPPY!"I was actually trying to plan this for so long...Always trying to find the perfect time,place and moment.Always rejecting every ring I found at the market because it was not "the one".I was seriously overthinking this,as if deep down I thought a imperfect bad proposal would make you realise how bad I am for you, how I can't provide you with everything you deserve.He sighs.

"I'm sorry it took me so long...Malak must have seen me rehearsing in the mirror and decided to give things a *little* push.You think that's why he took your ring in the first place?"

-"Well..maybe.He always takes every shiny thing he finds at our home though.But I supposed he purposely opened my jewelry box."

You stroke his cheeck

"Anyway,it's not like I wasn't hesitating to plan a proposal as well,even though I wanted this as much as you.We really ought to give credits to Malak,for reminding us how stupid we are to still question how much we mean to each other"

-"Well,at least it worked well for me.I got to be in time to propose you before you did!"

I playfully smack him in the arm.He  chuckles and reaches for my hand,interwining our fingers together and softly kissing it.

For the first time in that evening,I take notice of the night sky behind Julian.How he was sitting exactly in the middle of the diagonal line the galaxy drew along its surface.How the light of the moon and the stars ,along with the help of the dim light the lanterns in our garden provided embraced his features so perfectly.I was simply staring at at him,gaping,admiring him like a work of art,savoring the moment,working on preserving this wonderful memory forever in my mind's eye.

Even though he turns scarlet again,he can't bear but to be a smartass

-"Like what you see darling?

-"Very much dear"

We share another passionate kiss,and we end up on the highest point of the roof,nestled in each other's arms,admiring the beautiful scenery for the thousandth time as if it was the first.And in a sense,it was the first.That day we made a promise.That day we finally overcame our fears,trusted eachother and expressed an internal promise we had actually silently made years ago.A promise rather simple but complex at the same time. That we will always be by each other's side.That day,was the first day of our life.

☆☆☆

Sooo,THAT WAS ALL FOLKS!

I hope you liked it,I know it was kinda long,so if you are still with me,you truly are one of a kind🩷✨️🪷.

I didn't even plan to turn this into a proposal fic,it just kinda happened along the way LMAO.In retrospect however,this feels exactly like the way Julian would propose.Out of a sudden AND in theater mode.Gotta love the ✨️chaos✨️

Tell me if you want Headcannons of the same incident with the rest of the M6,I am thinking of writing them!

Until next time,if architecture has not consumed me

Stay cool,stay chill stay HYDRATED

Eva🩷🪷✨️

[snobgoblin]

the other day I saw a "beware of attack dog" sign outside a shop and I went in because i wanted to see the dog and anyway there was no dog but there was a very skiddish pet bird and anyway headcanon Julian has a sign like that outside of his clinic

[asmo-cosmetics]

there's this really sad and unfortunately super common thing with abused/neglected parrots where there's only a handful of things they know how to say, because those are the only things their former owners ever said to them, usually awful, heartbreaking shit like "shut up!" and "stupid bird!"

and i'm just thinking about like. lucio at the red market looking for a new pet, and there's a vendor there he's never seen before, but they have gorgeous animals, many pristine white. maybe they were tipped off.

"good eye, my lord," they say when lucio smiles and pets the scruff of an adorable fox kit. he couldn't take her home, mercedes would get jealous, but she snuggles into his palm and he's tempted.

"lovely, no? the breed comes from the south," which lucio knows, obviously, and he meets the vendor's eyes with an arched brow.

"my dog would kill her," he says, more regretfully to the kit herself than to them.

they don't seem to mind. "perhaps a heartier beast, then," they say with a flourish, and gesture to a small cage housing a terrified bear cub, much too young to be away from his mother. "still on the bottle, but he'll be eight feet tall, at least." when they hook their long fingers through the bars, the cub ambles up and licks at their fingers, seemingly searching for a teat. poor darling.

still, "i think, in that case, my wife would kill me." nadia still hasn't gotten over the macaques.

the vendor attempts another smooth transition, but before they can, from behind them, there's a horrible screech of "ARREST THEM!"

all around there is a slight bristling reaction; the voice clearly isn't human, but the words obviously prick up the ears of these sorts of people.

the vendor scowls, turning their back to lucio to lift the blanket over one of the cages and scold, "for gods' sake, shut it, you horrible bird!"

"THIEF! POACHER!" replies the bird.

"i'd like to see him," replies the count.

the vendor whirls back around, incredulous, but stern, their lip curled. "only if you intend to buy," they say. "if i take the cover off, that damn bird screams all night."

lucio sets his jaw, and sets a purse of coin on the table. "i'd like to see him."

"s'not enough."

"HORRIBLE BIRD!"

"you seem to want him off your hands badly enough."

and reluctantly, the vendor pulls away the blanket to reveal a sulfur-crested cockatoo, brilliantly white and gorgeous and nervously plucking healthy feathers from his wings.

"UGLY BIRD! SHUT UP! STUPID CAMIO!"

"camio? is that your name, gorgeous boy?"

"STUPID CAMIO," screeches camio, then lowers his head, somehow looking self-conscious, and quickly goes back to pulling at his feathers. "UGLY BIRD!"

"i certainly disagree," he says softly. when he reaches a finger through the cage, camio lets him pet the soft feathers on his forehead, closing his eyes and bobbing his head like a little nod.

lucio slams another purse on the table and memorizes the vendor's face to describe to the guards.

nadia rolls her eyes when he arrives home with the bird, but her face crumples much like lucio's had at the cry of "UGLY BIRD!" and when lucio tells her of the vendor - the poacher - she agrees, for once, to have them hanged.

camio is loud and a bit frustrating, with her headaches, and nadia worried her husband would never have the patience, but now, when she hears the parrot's shrieking voice, it says:

"HANDSOME BOY!"

"CLEVER BIRD! CLEVER BIRD!"

"CAMIO'S DADDY'S PRETTY BIRD!"

[arcanarubinaito]

How It All Went Wrong

Inspired by the “Who Broke It” meme from Parks and Recreation.

This week I’ve decided to do a reader insert fic! I was originally planning to do a special Incorrect Quotes post, but I ran out of time to even start editing it together. I’ll probably do what I planned eventually, but to meet the deadline I switched over to a mini-fic.

(I’m still figuring out how to format my mini-fic/creative writing posts so please forgive the inconsistencies.)

Summary:

It’s the start of a new day and the familiars have all gathered in the Palace to play and run around the mostly empty halls while you and the M6 share drinks and relax on the Veranda. Unfortunately, while they were romping about and having fun, you discovered one of the familiars broke a very expensive vase Nadia was planning to auction off for charity…

Tags:

SFW (<18), 1k Words, GN Reader, Reader Insert, No Established Relationship, Asra Alnazar, Nadia Satrinava (Mentioned), Faust, Chandra, Malak, Inanna, Pepi, Mercedes & Melchior, Camio, Reader's Familiar, Whodunnit, Parks and Recreation, Who Broke It?

“So. Who broke it?”

The pack of animals in front of you all exchanged guilty glances. You’d caught them running through the halls in a panic, a mess of feathers and fur as they frantically tried to get your attention; and they had led you back to the scattered shards of what once was a very expensive, very delicate vase. Nadia had planned to auction it off, raising money to instate a proper orphanage; she wasn’t going to be happy about this. You sighed and crouched down, so you weren’t towering over the frenzied herd. “I’m not mad.” You said soothingly, reaching your hand out. Pepi was the first to rush forward, pressing into your hand with an apologetic purr. “I just want to know.”

They were all quiet for a long, long moment before your own familiar tentatively broke the silence. “I did it,” They said, but you knew it wasn’t them. They didn’t know who it was, either; the creature was attempting to take the fall for their friends. You huffed out a slight, gentle laugh.

“No, no you didn’t.” Your other hand found the top of your familiar’s head, and you gently scratched at it soothingly. Glancing up at the rest, you swept your gaze over the sea of guilty faces and focused on Malak. The raven looked a little more disheveled than usual, his beady black eyes darting around and his head cocking back and forth anxiously. “Malak?” You prompted. You regretted it almost instantly when you saw the look in his eyes.

“Don’t look at me!” Malak shot back, and his wings flared out. His talons clicked against the marble floor as he began to pace, eyeing the other familiars with a paranoid and scrutinizing glare. “Look at Chandra.” He swept one wing towards her, and the other animals turned to focus on the owl. Her eyes widened further, both surprised and indignant at the accusation.

“I beg your pardon?” Chandra brought herself up to her full height, glaring down at Malak with cold, dark eyes. “I certainly didn’t break it. Unlike yourself I watch where I’m flying.”

“That’s weird, how’d you even know it was broken?” Malak said, almost smugly. As though he thought he’d caught Chandra in the act somehow. You glance at the scattered pieces of sharp ceramic in front of you all, and then back up at the two bickering birds.

The owl extended her wing, feathers flaring as she gestured towards the broken vase. “You imbecile, it is right there in front of us and it is clearly broken.”

“Suspicious.”

“No, it is not–”

“If it matters.” Another voice interjected quickly, and you all turned to look at the two Borzoi standing just off to the side. Melchior had spoken up, Mercedes pressed up against his side and eyeing Pepi. “Probably not… but Pepi was closest to it when we ran past.” Mercedes nodded in agreement.

You saw Pepi’s tail slowly puff up, her pale blue eyes widening in disbelief. “Liar!” She yowled at them, and her ears flattened against her skull. The fur on her back spiked up. “I don’t—push things off of tables, that is a stereotype!”

Mercedes looked amused now, baring her teeth in a grin. “Oh really? Then what were you doing up on the table earlier then?”

“Cats like to be high up to watch things, everybody knows that Mercedes—”

You sighed and held up your hands. “Alright, let’s not fight…”

“Well…” Camio bobbed his head thoughtfully. “Inanna’s been awfully quiet–”

“Really?” Inanna snarled, whipping her head in the cockatiel’s direction. The bird only cackled as the rest of the familiars broke into frenzied arguments, pointing claws and feathers. You could hardly hear yourself think over the uproar, the squabbling animals making so much racket it was a wonder the others couldn’t hear them from the veranda. With a long, suffering sigh you rubbed your hands over your face.

“Okay, that’s enough!” You called out, loudly and clearly enough that your voice rang through the entire hall and shut the bickering animals up. The guilty expressions returned tenfold this time as everyone quieted down, paws and talons shuffling. Your thumb and finger ran up the bridge of your nose, pinching together while you took advantage of the quiet to think. There were a lot of fingers being pointed—so to speak—but none of them were admitting it; and you were inclined to believe they were all speaking the truth as well. You opened one eye to survey the small crowd again, doing a brief headcount. Your own familiar, Malak, Chandra, Camio, Melchior, Mercedes, Inanna, Pepi… no sign of Faust.

“Found help!” Ah, there she was. You turned your head to see Faust slung over Asra’s shoulders as he walked down the hall, the periwinkle serpent waving her tail cheerfully at everyone.

“Faust told me what happened.” Asra crouched beside you and skimmed their fingers over the shattered pottery. “Why don’t we get this fixed up before Nadia sees, hm?” They threw a wink at the other familiars, all of them relaxing just a little bit now. Asra held their hands over the shards, and you watched alongside the familiars as the pieces began to glow softly and draw back together. Glowing golden lines formed where the cracks were as the pieces fit together, melting away to reveal a perfectly uncracked and unbroken surface. They picked up the object carefully and set it back where it belonged. “There we go, good as new. Nobody has to know.” They flashed a toothy smile towards you.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter who broke it then.” The familiars relaxed completely. The only reason you wanted to know was so that whoever broke the vase could properly apologize to Nadia; now there wasn’t any reason for that. You took a moment to give everyone some pets and ear scritches before standing up. “But let’s try to not break any more valuable objects, okay?” You chided them all gently and they murmured their agreements. As you turned back to Asra, you gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

“If they’re all together like this, it’s hardly surprising that something broke.” Asra chuckled, guiding Faust off their shoulders so she could rejoin the other familiars. “I was waiting for it to happen. Murphy’s law,” They held their finger up as you both began to walk. “Anything that can go wrong, will. It’s just a matter of how, isn’t it?”

[samtheplatypus]

Charles and Oliver are just a little bit too curious (much like Demien tbh)

Malak was just minding his business fr

They are grounded

[rasby]

Fem Julian, to start the year right 🖤❤️

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Malak who really wants to bond with Julian better, and in an attempt at making communication easier starts to adopt Julian's habits and mannerisms - except they're the wrong mannerisms?

Malak who figures out how to make his croak sound like it's stuttering whenever he gets unexpected positive attention?

Malak who starts trying to loudly perform some kind of musical number for his people whenever he wants to make them smile?

Malak who, when he feels a surge of affection, practically tangles his feathers trying to lavishly dote on his loved ones and in the process impede whatever Julian is trying to accomplish?

... Malak who saw how stressed Julian was about finishing some research, and took the liberty of dipping his talons in the ink pot and walking all over the parchment until it seemed sufficiently covered ...

[love-d-villains]

Malak's collector addiction.

Hair Killer

[bakerozza]

Okay, Princess Asra and Princess Ilya slow dancing in their pwetty wittle dresses? 🥺 (Malak and Faust are having a dance off in the BG)

how about focusing on Faust and Malak? I mean, look at them

[lordedlady]

humanAU!the-arcana-familiars

stay tuned for part 3 !

faust :

sneaky

thief... oh she totally is

flirts with malak

gets what she wants

acts innocent, the epitome of flair

model body fr

taller than malak, her bestie boo

calls everyone "bae"

on the asexual scale ? as in, likes flirting but not dtf

reads on occasion but thinks its sorta a waste

gambling addiction

malak :

grunts and appears irratated 24/7

tsundere for faust

beer addiction

rock-star

drunk constantly

5'11 but says hes 6'2

totally jealous of everyone taller than him

doesn't like speaking often unless intoxicated

caws constantly

inanna :

shy

loyal

gives light hugs

has no addictions wooo

likes rubbing on taller people's coats

concerned for faust's wellbeing

therapy friend

likes music

hates crowds

basically the fem!ver of muriel

[zzombie-gutzz]

i need to draw kiki and malak but also i cannot draw animals. sigh