#i struggled to come up with what ted could say | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adhdtsukasa · 5 months ago

Text

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

198 notes · View notes

princessbiteme0o0 · 7 months ago

Text

Jealousy~ (JSchitlin x Reader)

The current request I’m working on is kinda dark and I need a break from it for a moment so enjoy this smut with almost no plot.

Also, a side note- whether or not Schlatt is in a relationship is none of our business. If he is then I’m inexplicably happy for him, if not, then that’s (probably) his choice. As fans, I feel like we should just be happy for him, rather than push him towards something he doesn’t want or try to pressure him for information that doesn’t belong to us. ALSO, this isn’t meant to offend anyone, but Schlatt deserves all the privacy he wants. Don’t forget that creators are people too :)

Love you guys 🩵🩵

WARNINGS: Jealousy (obviously), mostly smut, porn with very little plot, fingering, ownership kink, let me know if I need to add more :)

—🩵—🩵—

She hated parties; hated them.

He knew this and he was well aware of why. With her history, it’s understandable why she hated being surrounded by drunk men. He knew she was beautiful and he knew that she had to deal with men (and women) flirting with her all of the time. He also knows that he has no right to be jealous, but currently that didn’t matter to him. His eyes were locked on Ted, who despite him only being six or seven inches taller than her, seemed to tower over her.

She awkwardly smiled when Ted leaned against the wall in front of her, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he stared down at her. She was internally questioning why she agreed to come; she should’ve known that if her and Schlatt got separated that she’d have men approaching her. Her mind is drawn from her thoughts and frustrations at her best friend as Ted speaks.

“Hi there, Honey.” He hums, low voice melting the tension between them. It was her turn to speak and she struggled to decide whether to flirt back or not.

“Hi, Ted.” She whispers softly, a warm blush spreading across her cheeks. As Schlatt stood back and watched this interaction, he felt a jealous rage swelling in his chest. Before he knew what he was doing, his feet directed him in their direction.

“You look absolutely adorable in that pretty little skirt.” He drunkenly slurred and she could smell the alcohol rolling off of him. A warm blush warmed her cheeks, making Ted chuckle softly.

“Thanks…” She trailed off, a nervous insecurity swelling her chest. Ted moved just the slightest bit closer and she could feel the warmth rolling off of his body.

“Why so shy, (Y/N)?” His voice is low and gravelly as he speaks and she furrows her brows when she looks up at him.

“You know I’m not a big talker, Ted.” She mumbles softly, bowing her head slightly. His fingers snaked their way under her chin and tilted her head up to make her look at him.

“I bet I could make you one-“ His words are cut off when Schlatt clears his throat beside them and slips an arm around her waist, pulling her away from Ted. Ted opens his mouth to say something, but shuts it as soon as he sees the glint in Schlatt’s eyes. Grumbling under his breath, Ted rolled his eyes and glared at Schlatt.

“Why don’t you go get a drink, Toots? I need to talk to Teddy Boy.” He smiled down at her and as a soft blush spread across her cheeks. Nodding quickly, Schlatt grinned as he watched her scurry off towards the kitchen. Turning back to face Ted, he raises a brow. Ted stares right back at him, glare boring into him. “What in the hell is wrong with you, Ted?”

“What?” Ted snapped in return, shifting on his feet as he moved to rest his back fully against the wall.

“You know how I feel about her.”

“Well you better tell her. If you don’t take her, I will.” Ted grumbled drunkenly, pushing off of the wall. Schlatt had to fight every urge to launch himself at Ted, instead he focused his attention on her. His eyes found her cute little figure, head down and cheeks pink as she grabbed a beer for him through the crowd of people. Before he could even think about it, his feet were guiding him towards her. Snaking his right arm around her, she tensed for a moment.

“Easy there, Pumpkin, it’s just me.” He whispered to her and she audibly breathed out a warm sigh, looking up at him and smiling softly. His eyes ran over her face for a moment before he spoke again. “Can I talk to you upstairs?”

“Sure.” She hums, eyes soft and sweet; that was one of his favorite things about her- if he stared into her eyes, he could see into her soul. Her kindness and subtle purity making a warmth flood his gut every time he looked at her. He gently takes his hand in hers and guides her through the crowd and up the stairs. Once the two of them made it upstairs, he leads her into a room and leans his back against the door after he shuts it.

“Jay…?” She whispered and the way her voice sounded nearly made him snap right then and there, biting back a growl. He slowly took steps towards her, fully expecting her to walk backwards as she does with everyone else, but she just stood there and watched him. He only stopped when he could feel the warmth of her body radiating through the tiny gap between them. Lifting his hand, he slowly and gently ran his fingers over her collarbone.

“So fucking sweet, like candy…” He mumbled as his fingertips still carefully explored her skin, ghosting up the side of her neck. “So pure, like a pretty little angel…”

“Jay, I-“ She whispers out, but the words die on her tongue as his thumb runs across her lower lip.

“Open.” He stated simply, watching her mouth as her lips part and he slips his thumb into her mouth, watching the way her pretty eyes widen in surprise.

“Suck.” And she instantly did as he said, pulling a growl from deep within his chest.

“And oh God, you’re so damn obedient.” She stared up at him, shuffling in place to press her thighs together in hopes of relieving the ache that was spreading through her abdomen and leaking between her legs. Pulling his thumb from her mouth, he’s surprised to hear her whine softly. “Shh, shh.” He gently shushes her while his hand moved to the back of her scalp, tangling his hand in her hair.

“Please, Jay… Please.” She chokes out, their faces a few millimeters apart. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers as he whispers.

“My sweet, little, forbidden apple.” He hummed out, pressing a small kiss to the corner of her lips.

“So tempting in everything you do…” He mumbles, free hand traveling down her side to her hip. “From the way you move, to the way you speak… All the way to when you look at me. Mmm, the way you look up at me so innocently- makes it so hard not to grab your face and kiss you right there.”

He chuckled momentarily when he saw the subbed out expression gracing her face. Her hazy eyes, pupils blown wide, stared up at him with so much softness, swirling with passion and making him take in a sharp breath. Nudging his nose against her cheek, he whispered again, “All mine.”

“Jay…” She whined softly, pulling away to look up at him. Her pretty blue eyes flip between each of his eyes and her lips part to speak, “Why don’t you kiss me then?”

“Because if I kiss you…” He pauses a moment to try and gather his thoughts- the way she’s looking at him makes his brain turn to mush. “If I kiss you, I don’t know if I can stop.”

“Oh yeah?” She hums softly, still staring up at him with wide eyes. When he gives a small nod, she continues, “Who says I would want you to stop?”

Her words made a soft growl leave his lips and the two practically pounced at each other, their lips colliding, much like waves crashing upon shore in the middle of a violent storm. She laced her fingers into his hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Before the two even realized they were moving, her back was slammed against the wall, him holding a hand behind her head to carefully press her further against it for support. His tongue clashed with hers, setting a bright, vibrant fire in her chest. While their tongues mingled together, his left hand slid down her side and gripped her thigh, lifting it to rest on his hip.

“Tell me you want it, (Y/N). Tell me who you want.” His voice comes out in a shaky growl against her lips, words barely audible over the heavy thumping of her heart in her chest. Upon a lack of reply, he pulls away just enough to look into her pretty, bright eyes and a soft whine leaves her at the lack of touch. Her lips tried to chase his, but he moved the hand behind her head to carefully wrap around her neck. “Tell me.”

“You, Jay. Please, need you. Please.” Her voice cracks and her chest heaves as she struggles against his hold, desperate for any touch from him. A smirk crosses his lips as he leans down and kisses the side of her head.

“Good job, baby. I’m so proud of you.” His praise pulled the most lewd mewl from her lips and she struggled in his hold once more, hips incidentally grinding against his. “So impatient.” His words are teasing… mocking… But she doesn’t mind- in fact, the way she was nearly dripping down her thighs at his tone made her oh so aware of what he does to her. His lips ghost down the side of her neck and he gives a playful nip to her collarbone, pulling the prettiest little whimper from the back of her throat.

“Please, please, please…” She begs and pulls away just enough to see his eyes- heavy with love and deep with affection.

“Anything for you.” He whispers in return, fingertips sliding carefully up the thigh over his hip. Slipping under her skirt, he slowly worked the pad of his thumb in circles around her clit making her head fall forwards against his chest. “Does that feel good, honey?”

“So- so good.” She whimpered softly, her body quivering with each slow, deliberate stroke of his fingers. Gently he pushed aside her panties and sank just his middle finger into her, making her gasp and grip onto the sleeves of his shirt for dear life. He torturously worked his finger back and forth before adding another. The lewd mewl that left her lips made him grunt out a soft reply as he felt his cock twitch in his pants.

“It’s too much, Jay!” She squeaks out softly as she clenched around his fingers. Her body trembled in his arms as she quickly approached her orgasm.

“Yes you can, Angel. You’re gonna take it and I’m gonna be here to catch you when you fall apart.” He whispered softly in her ear, kissing her temple. Schlatt held her there against the wall, wrapping his free arm around her body and carefully holding her up and against him. His warmth made her feel safe, like a giant blanket protecting her from everything- he helped her just to… Feel.

“I- I’m gonna- I can’t- please don’t st-stop.” She choked out on a sob met somewhere in her voice with a moan.

“That’s it, baby. Let it all out. I know you’ve been neglected, my love. I’m here now. I’ve got you.” He praised her softly as her body twitched and her eyes closed tightly, basking in not just the glow of her orgasm, but the light of his love.

-A/N:- Pt. 2? I know it was a cheesy ending but the romantic in me couldn’t help it 😭

#jschlatt x reader #schlatt x reader #schlatt fluff #jschlatt fluff #jschlatt smut #schlatt smut

231 notes · View notes

writingduhh · 3 months ago

Note

i literally got my wisdom teeth removed a few hours ago and i am in PAIN

pls pls can we have some comfort ted to schlatt?

love you sm stay safe 💓💓💓💓

Ahhhh I love this idea! I’m so sorry about your wisdom teeth I’ve heard it’s so painful :( please rest up and take care of yourself! Hope this can offer a little distraction 💜

❥ Jschlatt :

▷ Before your surgery, Schlatt does a deep dive into what you’ll need post-op. How to relieve pain, help you heal faster, and everything in-between. He also makes sure to stock up on tons of soft foods, wanting to make sure you have lots of options

▷ On the way to the office he immediately notices your nervousness. He takes it upon himself to lighten the mood the best he can. If all attempts at humor fail he takes a much sweeter approach.

He lays his hand on your thigh, giving it a tight squeeze. “You’re going to do great, y/n. And I’ll be right here with you.”

▷ After the paperwork has all been signed he tightly hugs you goodbye, gently whispering to you that title be ok. Once you’re taken back he sits down in the waiting room. He insists on staying in the office until you’re done, no matter how long it takes he refuses to leave without you.

▷ As soon as you’re out of surgery schlatt is by your side, making sure you’re comfortable whisky he intensively listens to the nurses aftercare instructions.

▷ Even though you might be a little grumpy or out of it, due to the anesthesia, Schlatt is incredibly patient. If you try to say something but it’s all garbled he listens attentively. He tries his best to decipher your words, occasionally making silly guesses that get you both laughing.

“Can you say that one more time, toots? I couldn’t hear you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and tried again, but somehow it came out even more garbled this time.

“Uhh… you want me to turn it up? Like the radio?”

“No, no, no,” you mumbled, struggling to get the words out. He looked a little flustered now.

“You want to… fuck? Darlin’, you just got out of—” Before he could finish, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

You pointed dramatically at the colorful suckers sat in the cup holder that the receptionist had given you on your way out.

“OH! You want a sucker.”

The two of you broke into laughter, tears forming in your eyes from how hard you were laughing.

Once you both finally caught your breath, Schlatt grabbed one of the suckers from the cup holder and handed it to you, making you smile even wider.

Through the gauze in your mouth you managed to say a “thank you.”

“Of course.” He lovingly says, pressing a kiss on the side of your head.

“Ya know, if you hadn’t just got out of surgery I wouldn’t have said no.” He subtly smirks, earning a playful slap from you.

“Hey! Hey! I’m just being honest.”

▷ When he notices you’re feeling tense from the soreness, schlatt offers to give you a gentle shoulder or neck massage. He’s surprisingly good at it, and you find yourself relaxing under his touch, the pain melting away a bit as he works out the tension.

▷ When you’re too sore or tired to eat by yourself, Schlatt happily feeds you spoonfuls of soup or pudding, joking about how he’s becoming a pro at this. He makes airplane noises just to see you roll your eyes, but you secretly love the attention.

▷ Knowing that you’ve been through a tough time, Schlatt takes it upon himself to spoil you with little gifts. He surprises you with a cozy new blanket, a scented candle, or that book you’ve been eyeing for a while. Each gift comes with a cheeky comment like, “Just a little something to make you smile, even if you’re still puffy.”

▷ He is super protective of you during your recovery. If anyone asks to visit or call, he gently but firmly lets them know that you’re resting and need your space, all while making sure you know that he’s there for anything you need.

▷ He can’t resist teasing you a little about your puffy cheeks, but it’s all in good fun. He pretends to take “before and after” pictures, making goofy faces in each one to match your swollen expression.

▷ If you wake up in the middle of the night feeling uncomfortable or in pain, he is right there to comfort you. He gets you a fresh ice pack, helps you take your meds, and stays up with you until you’re able to fall back asleep, all while holding your hand and whispering reassurances.

❥ Ted :

▷ On the way to the dentist, Ted can sense if you’re feeling a bit anxious. He gives you a lighthearted pep talk, reminding you that it’s just a quick procedure and that he’ll be there every step of the way.

▷ Once you’re taken back into the surgery room he makes his way to a nearby store. He buys all of your favorite treats, drinks, and foods. Well, at least the ones you can eat

▷ Ted is the first face you see the moment you come out of surgery. He gives you a reassuring smile and plants a small kiss on your forehead. Before the nurses can bring out a wheelchair, Ted has already decided to carry you out to the car himself.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks sweetly, cradling you in his arms as he walks through the parking lot.

“Mm, good,” you mumble, your arms snugly wrapped around his neck.

“Alright, let me just figure out how to open the door here…” he grumbles, trying to find a way to reach the door handle without setting you down.

“Ted, it’s okay. You can set me down—I can open my door,” you say softly.

“Nope. It’s my job to take care of you and keep you safe.”

“Well… I think you might need to put me down to be ‘safe,’” you smirk.

He sighs. “Alright, you might’ve got me there.”

Ever so carefully, he lowers you to the ground, his hand resting gently on your back as he ushers you into the passenger seat. He even manages to buckle your seatbelt for you. Not without giving you a quick kiss

▷ On the ride home, Ted reflects on how proud he is of you for getting through the procedure. He playfully teases about how you handled it like a champ and how he’s going to tell everyone how brave you were. His words are full of admiration, making you feel cherished.

▷ When you get home, Ted carefully helps you out of the car, making sure you don’t trip or stumble. He wraps an arm around you to keep you steady, guiding you inside and straight to the couch or bed, where he’s already prepared a cozy spot for you to rest.

▷ Ted is super thoughtful, having already set up a recovery space with everything you might need. He’s laid out blankets, pillows, and has the remote within arm’s reach. He’s also got your medications and a glass of water ready, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.

▷ Once you’re back home and resting, Ted sits quietly beside you, holding your hand or gently stroking your hair. Even if you’re too tired to talk, he stays with you, offering silent support and comfort just by being close.

▷ As you start to come around, Ted sits beside you, keeping the conversation light and soft. He talks about plans for when you’re feeling better, maybe a fun date or a small trip, to give you something to look forward to while you recover.

▷ At night, he insists on sleeping next to you, even if it means squishing into the bed with all the pillows and blankets you have piled up. He keeps an eye on you, waking up occasionally to make sure you’re still comfortable and not in any pain.

#chuckle sandwich #chuckle sammy #ted nivison #jschlatt #jschlatt x reader #ted nivison x reader #ted nivison imagine #ted nivison headcanons #hc #jschlatt hcs

99 notes · View notes

foreverisntenough · 5 months ago

Text

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

INDEX

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, SMUT (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, parenting, mental health struggles, eating disorder, self doubt, body image issues, daddy kink, angst, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant/ baby logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 21 - More Spontaneous | ‘Ours’

“Do you like the wawa, Teddy girl?” You cooed with a big smile seeing your little girl sitting on the first step into your pool kicking her legs splashing in the warm water. Was having a pool in the north of England the post logical thing? No, but it was fun during the times when you did get to use it. Teddy was in the cutest frilly floral Zimmerman bikini. It was absolutely adorable. Her skin golden brown shimmering in the sun. You just wanted to eat her chubby little tummy, she was perfect in every way. Her beautiful pout turned up into a smile.

“Mama! Like wawa!!!” She squealed. You giggled and pressed kisses to her cheek sporadically, keeping her close to you not letting her leave her seat safe on the step.

“I know you do. It’s fun, right? Want to go further out into the wawa with mummy and swim?” You looked at her and pulled her to sit on your knee. She nodded excitedly. You leaned over to the ledge and grabbed her little floaties. You pulled them on her arms and held her in your arms walking further into the pool. She swashed around trying her best to ‘swim.’ “Teddy baby, how did you get so good at swimming? Have you been swimming with daddy?” You asked her fixing your hold of her, rubbing your nose against hers as you bounced her up and down in your arms.

“Dada best swimmy” She giggled, grabbing your face with her hands. You smiled at her, putting together she was attempting to tell you Trent was the best swimmer. Trent had been going out in your pool with her a lot since the weather turned. You took her to learn how to swim fairly early just for safety but they were having a great time together every time they could outside. They’d stay out there for what felt like hours until they would inevitably come inside and give you a wet cuddle and ask for something to eat.

“Mama! Mama! Mama! Hungwy! Dada and Teddy Hungwy!” Teddy came in running with a big towel wrapped around her. Her wet feet slapping against the hardwood floors. You heard Trent follow inside sliding the glass doors back closed.

“Are you? What do you want, Teddy bear? What can I make you for lunch time?” You asked her, scooping her up engulfed in terrycloth. “What about a cheese toastie, baby?” You cooed.

“Yeah, baby. That’s exactly what we want. Doesn't that sound yummy, Ted?” Trent cooed coming into the kitchen running his hands over his head. You smiled seeing him come in shirtless, still a little damp, looking drool worthy as his muscles contracted dropping his hands back down.

“Most, dada! Yum!” She squealed, reaching out for him again. You handed Teddy over to him, as if she hadn’t spent enough time with him yet today. They looked on as you began to make their lunch. You turned around to see Trent, beautiful and toned as ever, nuzzling his face into the crook of Teddy’s neck, peppering her with kisses, bouncing her up and down, eliciting all sorts of giggles from her. They were perfect. You pouted as you turned back to the burner.

“Gonna say thank you to the best mummy, hmm?” Trent asked Teddy, pushing his nose against her cheek as he walked closer to you back around the kitchen island. He moved Teddy to one hip and used his free arm to pull you into him. He wrapped his arm around you pulling you by your stomach back into his chest.

“Tanks mama.” Teddy cooed, pushing her lips out expecting a kiss. Of course, you gave it to her, pressing your lips to hers with a dramatic ‘Mwah!’ Not to be left out, Trent impatiently waited for his looking at you with his lips pushed out and pursed. You rolled your eyes and cocked your head back awkwardly to press your lips to his. Again, seemed with a ‘Mwah!’

You laid Teddy down for sleep and crawled into your bed exhausted. Trent had a dinner with Adidas down in London but he had planned to come back home later tonight. You wanted to wait up but you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. You had spent the better part of your day sitting out in your back garden by the pool with Teddy. You did absolutely nothing but just being in the sun all day chasing after her had you wiped. It was nearly 3 or 4 am when Trent finally made it back to your house.

“I’m home, baby.” Trent whispered, crawling into your bed pulling you into him. You hummed his name and pulled yourself tight to him despite being fast asleep, instinctively his hands dropping to your ass underneath your flounce shorts. “Missed you so much.” He purred, wrapping his arms around you, kissing your head. You nuzzled into his neck comforted by his presence. Until you got a little too comfortable and found yourself on top of him cuddling up to him more and more, unintentionally rolling your hips to get settled. “Wanna wake up for me, baby? Making me so hard, right now.” Trent left out a breathy laugh. You hummed and just settled in your place. He shut his eyes and suppressed his groan. You had no idea you were even turning him on but you were and he was dying. He eventually fell asleep accepting his fate, eager for morning to come so he could too.

“Good morninggg.” You cooed sleepily kissing his bare chest, happy with where you were waking up. You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled yourself up him, grinding your body on top of his. “Did you miss me?” You giggled nuzzling your face into the nape of his neck nipping at his sensitive warm skin.

“Of course, I missed you, beautiful. Happy I’m back with my girl.” he cooed, kissing your hair. You began sucking on his neck as if setting off some sort of starting gun. “Want me to show you how much I missed you?” He whispered in a tone that sent shivers up your spine. He pulled your head out from his neck and held your face above his. He cupped your cheeks rubbing his thumb over your soft skin. You nodded. Your morning was spent in bed tangled between the sheets with him. Giggles filling your room when you finally decided enough was enough. Your daughter would be up soon and you needed to shower.

“Get away!” You yelped wiggling out of his hold. “T! Let me go!” You giggled trying to break out of his arms tightly wrapped around you restricting you from getting into the shower.

“Nah! Let me come with you, baby.” He dragged you by the waist in his direction. “Just shower with me. Take this off. C’mon.” He cooed peeling your his t-shirt off over your head. You made it through the shower eventually succumbing to Trent’s puppy dog stare, him joining you, naturally. It took longer than you probably would’ve expected but nevertheless you were finally clean and you had a slightly cheerier disposition the rest of the day thanks to him.

“Gonna let me finally take you out? You asked me on a date days ago now.” Trent cooed cheekily coming up behind you in the kitchen. He placed his hands beside you on the counter in front of you caging you in, your back to his chest.

“I did not ask you… You just were taking too long to ask me.” You quipped turning your head to the side to see a little bit of him. You turned your focus back to the fruit you’d been cutting up for Teddy. Trent shook his head and leaned over to rest his chin on your shoulder. He kissed your cheek with a sarcastic hum. “But also, we would need someone to watch Ted and its last minute now.” You cooed with a more realistic note.

“Oh, I am so so so sorry, I took so long.” He kissed your jaw now. “ We’ll figure it out though. C’mon, baby. Let me take you out. You can get dressed up in something pretty… then I can peel it off when we get home, huh?” He whispered the last bit just to you. He moved his hands from the counter onto your stomach pushing your top up a little. Dragging his hands over your bare skin. He moved his lips onto your neck.

“Mmm maybe.” You teased him pretending to ponder if you’d want to go or not. He squeezed your waist with a hum impatiently awaiting your answer. “I don’t know, really…” You giggled before both of you fell into a fit of laughter as he pressed you for an answer incessantly kissing you all over, pinching and tickling your sides.

“Dada no hurt mama!” Teddy yelled in her high chair looking incredibly concerned as you keeled over and tried to escape Trent.

“Oh, no no, baby. Mummy’s okay, she is just silly.” Trent stopped tickling you momentarily but still tried to maintain his tight hold around you though. He smiled at her. “She’s okay, promise.” He kissed your cheek in a more calm way to try to display it wasn’t as chaotic of a situation as you two had made it out to be.

“No! Teddy girl, help me! Daddy’s attacking me!” You giggled, breaking away from him when he switched his focus off of you. You ran towards her and scooped her up eliciting her own fit of giggles. Trent rolled his head to the side at your theatrics. “Don’t let daddy catch you! Run, Ted!” You yelled, putting her on her feet and running out of the kitchen with her following with a squeal.

“Nah! C’mere. Going to get you, baby bear!” Trent cooed but gave her a minute to make her way out of the room before he purposefully ran up behind her, making his steps extra loud and grabbed her. He threw her over his shoulder and kissed her little legs flailing in front of him. “Gotcha, Ted. Now, where’d mama go?” He laughed very obviously being able to see you ‘hiding’ behind a pillar in your living room. He jogged over and you let him wrap his free arm around your waist clumsily.

“Oh no! Ted, daddy caught us.” You feigned disappointment with a smug smile at Trent while Teddy continued her giggles loving the game you’d begun. Trent kissed your forehead with a loud ‘Mwah.’ before dropping Teddy from his shoulders down to his hip before he collapsed backwards onto the couch in your living room.

“My beautiful, beautiful girls.” Trent cooed, kissing Teddy’s identical pout pulling her tight to him while she outstretched her arms to reach around his neck. You wrapped your arms around his waist and pulled yourself into him, resting on his chest. You kissed his shoulder, swiping your thumb over Teddy’s cheek, admiring her pretty face as she continued to settle her heavy breathing after all the laughter. Trent had managed to convince Tyler to watch Teddy for the night, so you were fairly excited. You two needed a minute alone just to be together and not be parents. Trent was surprising you or so he said. You had no idea where you were going and he wouldn’t tell you which bothered you, more so because it was hard to figure out what to wear. ‘You look good in anything’ wasn’t exactly helpful either. Nevertheless, it was summer so you figured that’d be your guide point. You wore a Prada blue linen skirt with a navy tank top and bag from Bottega and a mule heel. It would have to do and you’d hope Trent would tell you if you’d need to change.

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look?” Trent cooed as you popped into the back of an uber. You looked at him with a cheeky yet annoyed smile.

“Yeah, you did 10 times but you also still haven’t told me if what I’m wearing is okay.” You feigned annoyance and squeezed his bicep teasingly. He rolled his eyes at you.

“Alright, alright, I won’t tell you again! Sheesh, baby.” He kept a straight face and feigned offense scooting in the back of the car slightly away from you. You pulled at his arm to bring him back but he stayed strong and leaned against the car window now opposite of you..

“Wait… No! You can tell me. Please.” You whined pulling at his arm. “Tell me I’m pretty…” You giggled childishly begging him. He tried to roll his eyes and keep his feigned indignation but he started laughing at you.

“Oh yeah? Want me to tell you how sexy you are?” He slid over to you quick sliding his hands around your waist pulling you into him. He tucked his face into the crook in your neck placing wet kisses, sucking and biting on your skin. You couldn’t hold back the little laugh as his hands overzealously grabbed at you. “Yeah? You want me now? You just want me to gas you up all the time?” he whispered. He licked your ear nibbling at it as he tried to whisper dirty things to you the driver wouldn’t hear, squeezing you so tight you could barely breath.

“Okay! Okay! Not anymore! Relax.” You giggled. “Enough, get off of me!” You squirmed in his arms. He pressed one more dramatic wet kiss to your cheek. You loved to pretend you wanted to get away but you both knew you loved when he was like that with you. You loved when he was silly and overly affectionate. You smiled at him and held his hand before you thanked the man and got out to see a restaurant you hadn’t been to in ages.

“I haven't thought about this place in forever. I didn’t think you’d even remember it, you know.” You sat at dinner dragging your foot up his leg under the table temptingly. “What? We came here… almost 5 years ago, right?” You asked, swooning a little seeing his slightly more grown up face now compared to the one that first took you here..

“Baby… I remember absolutely everything we’ve done. We went erm… day 3 maybe 4 when you first visited because you were so obsessed with me.” Trent teased in a very confident tone, looking at you with a cheeky smile. You rolled your eyes but he took your hand in his. He pulled it towards him over the table.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You were begging me to visit you. Get over yourself.” You giggled, removing your hand from his but he was quick to pull it back to him. He softened his gaze on you and you felt butterflies fill your stomach. “It was a good decision though to be fair.” You cooed softly, giving him a gentle smile in return.

“In my opinion, the best one you’ve ever made.” He said sweetly, rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand. You hummed watching his fingers move over your skin by the candle lit table.

“Not the yes I gave you?” You asked with a cheeky smile, squeezing his hand.

“It’s up there but I don't know… seeing you in the stands for the first time, that just was different. When you decided to come over I feel like I knew we’d get here.” He said earnestly, almost like he was unlocking his chest and opening up his heart to you in real time.

“You thought we’d be getting married with a baby?” You looked at him a little surprised.

“Well, I hoped that’d be the case. I mean I fell in love with you on that first date.” You rolled your eyes. “Nah, you can believe me or no, but I was absolutely infatuated. It was game over for me. No one would ever compare to you. I wish I wasn’t such a melt about it but you got me. Then the weeks we were apart, all the time on the phone, all the letters and gifts. I don’t think I’d ever written a letter outside of maybe primary school and there I was writing my feelings on cardstock tucking it in with gifts to send you dreaming I could give it to you in person. I knew I loved you and I knew I wanted to be together. I think when I saw you at the match though.” He smiled and shut his eyes. He shook his head for a moment. “I don’t know it sounds mad and I know it’s corny so make your jokes but…” You squeezed his hand once more before you picked it up and kissed the back encouraging him, letting him know you weren't going to poke fun because this wasn’t funny, not one bit. “I knew I wanted that view for the rest of my career. I knew I wanted to come home to you for the rest of my life, and I was absolutely certain I never wanted anyone else to have you. I wanted that girl up in my box to be mine. ” He picked his gaze that was fixated on your hands up and flicked his eyes at you. He could feel his heart falter a little making eye contact with you. You looked soft and serene, patient.

“Oh…” You felt tears build behind your eyes so you blinked a few times to fight them back. “T, that's…that’s so sweet. Fuck, I feel like I’m gonna cry.” You whimpered with a pout on your face. One tear tipped over the edge. Trent reached to you with his free hand and wiped his thumb over your cheek to catch it. “I was so scared that night. I was trying to be calm but I had no idea what I was doing. I was so scared that being back together wasn’t going to work but as soon as you wrapped your arms around me in the tunnel, I don’t think I ever wanted to leave, not for the rest of my life. Being embraced by you gave me a sense of home and security I’d never known.” You cooed with glossy eyes. He leaned over and kissed your lips.

“It’s a forever thing, baby. Can’t leave me, alright? Always remember that. Always gonna take care of you.” Trent spoke sincerely.

“You know, when I first saw you I thought I was so stupid for imagining you’d be a nice guy.” You sheepishly admitted to him recalling seeing him on the TV on the couch with your dad.

“You weren’t thinking how sexy I was first?” He laughed, flashing you a million dollar smile. You rolled your eyes and slapped at him telling him to stop with the jokes. “Yeah? Alright. Well what do you think now?” He asked you, moving his chair to sit closer to you.

“I think you’re the nicest.” You whispered, cupping his cheek with you hand before you leaned in to kiss him. “And sweetest.” You kissed him again. “Boy I’ve ever met.” You giggled, pulling away from your final kiss.

“Only for you, baby. An absolute sop for you.” He laughed looking away from you recalling how down bad he’d been from day one.

“I kind of hoped you weren’t a nice person, I think. I remember imagining a walk of shame leaving The Plaza the next morning and instead I ended up with a baby 5 years later.” You let out a breathy laugh.

“I’m glad it ended up this way though but why’d ya hope for that?” Trent asked you curious why you would’ve wanted him to potentially not be nice to you.

“I told you that our first night together, I just was so scared you would break my heart. You don’t think someone can possibly be that perfect.” You looked at him seriously. It was humorous but you remember feeling that way.

You continued staring at his strong arm draped over you, his warm tanned skin looked so soft and rich, a white gold Van Clef Alhambra bracelet dangled off his wrist. He actually might be perfect and you felt a little sick at his flawlessness.

“And yet here I am.” He cooed cheekily with another priceless smile. He squeezed your thigh above your knee. You leaned your head on his shoulder. You outstretched your neck momentarily to kiss the soft skin of his.

“Here you are, incredibly humble as well.” You teased him. Trent shuffled in his seat and pulled your head off of him. You looked at him confused why he’d move you when that was such a tender moment.

“Humble but also very sorry about what’s been going on baby. I know it can’t always be perfect but the vibes lately, I never want that again.” He gave you a sympathetic smile that made your heart ache. You could see the hurt behind his eyes.

“Yeah. I agree, T. No, thank you. I feel much better when I’m with you.” You sighed with a pouty smile.

“I feel really horrible about the necklace so… I did get it fixed up for ya.” You smiled and grabbed for the suede green box he had put on the table but he dragged it back from you before you could reach. You raised your eyebrow and then he bent over in between you two. He came back up holding another box, this one wrapped neatly with the Van Clef & Arpels packaging. Your eyes widened with intrigue. “It’s so you can layer it.” He cooed, naturally peaking your interest as to what it would be.

“T…” You pouted peeling the paper off to open it. “You didn’t have to…” you got cut off once you opened the box to see a 20 motif Alhambra long necklace with diamonds matching your original necklace. Inside you were screaming and couldn’t wait to tell Winnie and Lauren. It was a extravagant buy. It was expensive to say the least.

“And this one.” He talked over you before you could finish your sentence. He stacked another Van Clef & Arpel’s box on top of the other. You rolled your eyes with a smirk seeing a very cheeky smile pull on his face. It was beautiful. His dimples deepening. You looked down next to him and saw what was a stupidly large bag for a jewelry store so you sat back folding your arms and let him continue on knowing there was more to come. “And this one.” He placed another box, slightly different in size. You giggled. “This one too. Oh I actually fuck with this the most, I think.” You covered your face with your hands hiding embarrassed by him spoiling you. You shook your head in disapproval but of course you were excited for all these gifts. Peeking to see how many stacked up

“Thank you.” You moved the boxes. After he placed the final one, maybe 6 boxes in total; a ring, a bracelet, earrings, a watch, a second or you guessed third necklace all stacked. “I love you.” You giggled inspecting the entire jewelry store that laid in front of you.

“I knowww.” He sillily dragged out in song. He kissed your lips and you pulled away holding his face in your hands.

“You’re very dumb.” You giggled before kissing him again in return. You shook your head at how ridiculous this was. He accidentally broke a necklace, he didn’t do anything to harm you. If anything, you were probably the one more in the wrong the past few days. You owed him a table full of jewelry.

“I knowwww.” He responded in the same way with a smile. You finished dinner and drove home. Trent was kind enough to carry the Van Clef shopping bag for you. Tyler had offered to take Teddy for the night so to say you were being handsy on the ride home was an understatement. To say you were touchy when you got home was an even bigger understatement.

“You know you told me a bit ago that you wanted me to try to be more spontaneous…” You cooed walking backwards up the staircase pulling Trent after you. He had a cheeky smirk on his face listening to you intently trying his very best to stay calm despite the palpable tension between you two. You got to the top of the stairs and draped your arms around him. You kissed his neck and he groaned. You made it to your room and you pushed him on to the bed.

“Wow, so bossy.” Trent smirked again looking up at you. He had his legs spread and he looked delicious. You walked to him, stood in between his legs as you grabbed the hem of his t-shirt pulling it over his head. He hummed with inquiry. He leaned back onto his hands behind him to continue watching you. You stepped back and unzipped your mini skirt and let it pool around your feet. Trent’s eyes widened.

“I want you to the boss though.” You cooed in a quiet seductive tone. You peeled your top up over you and stood on display for him still in your heels. His jaw slack. He blinked his eyes a few times to adjust to the vision of you. You wore lingerie a lot but this seemed more purposeful. You looked good to be fair. You were in a navy and black Kiki de Montparnase set that just hit right on you. You climbed over top of him and straddled his waist. His hands immediately on you, magnetized.

“Mmmm baby, you look unreal.” Trent cooed, dipping his head to pressing feather light kisses onto your neck. “Fuck…Did I tell you how good you smell?” He ran his hands down your body, keeping his face nuzzled against your skin. Everything about you was sublime. This was nirvana for Trent. He leaned all the way back onto the mattress to lay down taking you with him. He shifted up the bed and then he heard something fall off of it. He pulled away from you momentarily and peered over the edge, bending awkwardly assuming it had been a phone or something mundane. “What’s going on?” His eyes lit in confusion and excitement identifying the item that had actually fallen. You smirked and pushed your hand against his chest telling him to sit back more and so he listened.

“You got me Van Clef…” You dragged out the words. “And so I got you this to say I’m sorry.” You giggled while kneeling on the end of the bed after picking up a silicone toy that had fallen. “I’m going to put this here and…” You noticed his eyes gloss over as he watched you intently. Winnie had suggested you do this, naturally it was her idea. You weren't a big toy girl, nothing against it, but here you were sliding a silicone toy inside of you, one part covering your clit, and another bit reaching back to stimulate your other hole.

“He just doesn’t strike me as like a neon dildo guy.” Winnie spoke to you over a Facetime as you both scrolled online on different sites trying to find something to ‘spice’ up your life. It’s not that you hadn’t messed about with things before or things weren’t going well in the bedroom, you just thought it’d be a little fun to lighten the mood after what had gone on between you two and make him feel good in the process.

“No…” you sighed, having a think about it. Frankly you weren’t that girl either. She laughed and sent you a link to something a bit more quirky in the sci-fi realm of sex toys. You rolled your eyes. “Winnie! I’m trying to be serious here!” You whined at her with a laugh trying to find something you’d actually want to use.

“Y/N, you’re trying to get T to fuck you… it’s not exactly mission impossible is it?” She teased you. “When was the last time you had sex” She asked, genuinely looking at you, taking her eyes off the website she was on.

“This morning…” You giggled embarrassed, hiding your face with your hands. Winnie rolled her eyes. You only proved her point but you were trying to say you were sorry and have fun with him, the last time you had sex wasn’t the point.

“Are you listening?” You giggled breathily adjusting to the toy inside of you now.

“I’m really trying, I promise.” Trent laughed and shook his head taken aback by the unexpected turn of your night.

“and this is for you…” You tossed him your phone with the control app. His jaw slacked as you crawled towards him more.

“What is happening right now?” He laughed with the most childish giddy smile on his face, just utterly taken aback and riddled with excitement. Usually if you had done these kinds of things before it was a bit more of a joint effort, something you had talked about and decided on together.

“You told me to surprise you.” You whispered as you worked kisses from the side of his lips down his neck.

“Fuckk. Consider me surprised.” Trent groaned as you palmed over his trousers. He grabbed your face and pulled you into a messy makeout but he was quick to flick his eyes open and over to the phone now in his hands. He turned the toy on and you moaned into his mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity for his tongue to enter your mouth blending with your own. You pulled away from his kiss and trailed your lips down his neck going to the spot you knew would make him weak. A soft groan left his lips again. You squeezed your thighs together trying to simultaneously bit your own lip to muffle your pleasure as he continued to play with the toy’s controls. You pulled off his trousers and boxers and freed his hard cock already leaking precum from its confinements. You flicked your eyes up at him. There was so much desire in your needy eyes Trent’s breath hitched. Your hand wrapped around the base of his length letting your spit drip from your mouth onto him. You dragged your tongue from the bottom all the way back up to the tip. You circled it before you took his whole cock in your mouth, pushing it all the way back into your throat. You bobbed your head in perfect repetition. Trent losing focus on the app only making the sporadic vibration patterns and interchanging levels that much more of a tease. You could feel yourself dripping down the inside of your thighs as your one hand began to massage his balls. He whimpered and you smirked with your mouth full. Trent wasn’t too pleased about that so he dragged the toy’s to a place that had you almost letting out screams. Your squeal of surprise brought a genuine smile to his face. You shut your eyes in pleasure trying to focus on your task but were incredibly distracted by the pleasure. Your moans around his cock only getting louder as the pressure built in your stomach just as his high was approaching as well. “Fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum. You’re gonna make me cum.” Trent’s breath was getting caught in his chest. He ran his fingers through your hair and gently pushed you further down until he filled your mouth with his cum. He stilled and you pulled off of him with a smirk swallowing every bit of his release. He shook his head with a laugh but agile and fit as ever he popped right up pulling you down to the bed before he climbed over top of you. He kissed your neck then down to your chest. He unclipped and peeled off your satin and lace bra before latching his lips to your nipples. He continued playing with the vibrations of the toy edging and edging you over and over again. His index finger and thumb pinched at your free nipple and then he swapped his tongue for his fingers and his fingers for his tongue.

“T… Please, baby. I need to cum. Please please, baby.” You whined. He had been edging you relentlessly. Just as you got close he’d slow the momentum of the toy’s vibrations or stop it all together. Finally, he sat back looking down at you predatory with the toy and lust burning behind his eyes. You were practically crying begging for it so he let you cum. As fun as it was to push, it was satisfying to see you like that and he wanted you to feel good also. His greedy smile had you weak.

“You know, as much as I have enjoyed this, and trust me I really did, I’ve had enough. You need something much more suited for you, yeah?” He whispered coming in close to your face while his one hand dropped and removed the toy, placing it god knows where on the bed. You were absolutely drenched. He ran the tip of his cock through your folds. He slapped it against your wet pussy a couple of times. You whimpered desperately craving him. He pushed inside you easily. Both of you gasping at the feeling. He bottomed out and waited for you to adjust before he began to move in and out. “I love you so much, baby.” He cooed, staring directly into your eyes. He began to move slowly reaching deeper than ever letting you know just how well he knew your body, the feeling was exquisitely perfect. No man could ever know you the way he did. Trent loved fucking you and there was some level of possessiveness that overtook him when he was with you. It turned you on a lot. Right now was no different, the only thing running through Trent's mind was how he could mark you more as his. A baby… check, marriage…essentially a check, but what about another baby? With two kids surely you’d be more his.

“Oh, fuck, T.” You moaned as your back arched off the mattress taking all of him. He continued to hit the spot you loved that was just for him driving you mad. “Feels so good, baby.” Your hands gripped his biceps, nails leaving crescent shapes in his brown skin as his thrusts increased.

“We should have another baby.” He whispered in your ear dropping to lay his body on yours slipping his hand in between you two playing with your clit. His fingers moved in precise tight circles. Your pussy squeezed him that much tighter. This was Trent’s heaven right here. You getting turned on more by the thought of him getting you pregnant again. “Make you a mummy of two, please, baby. Let me get you pregnant” He sounded so whiny as you clenched around him. You moaned as another orgasm came fast approaching. Your eyes rolled back. Your pussy began to throb until your high crashed over you.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, baby. Please.” Your brain couldn’t even process what his question even was to begin with. To be fair, if he asked you this with a clear head at dinner you probably would’ve had the same answer. You’d do anything for Trent.

“Fuck, baby. Gonna cum, alright? Doing so good, beautiful. Gonna fill you up.” He grunted as his thrusts became messy and unregulated before he came inside of you, filling you up to the brim. He pulled out and his lips met yours in a passionate kiss. He gently pulled out of you but was quick to push his two fingers along with his leaking cum back inside you for a few moments longer. “Let’s have another baby.” He whispered collapsing to the side of you with a giant grin pulling you into a cuddle.

“Mmmm okay, T. I want everything with you. Just want to stay here, please.” You cooed resting your head onto his chest, running your hand up his abs. You did want a baby but you’d say anything to cozy up to him in this moment.

“Keep you forever.” He whispered into your hair, pressing a kiss. You woke up the next morning cuddled up to Trrent. You let him sleep in. Tyler told you he’d be over around 8:00 am. You checked your phone and it was about 7:45 am. You kissed Trent’s forehead and made your way to the en suite of your bedroom quietly to be sure not to wake him. You washed your face and tied your hair up. You pulled on a pair of Trent’s joggers and a tank top. You went down stairs and you sleepily walked into the kitchen turning on the lights of the house gradually on your way. You leaned over the kitchen island, resting on your forearms scrolling through your phone checking emails from your wedding planner confirming and coordinating. Tyler texted he was leaving his with Teddy so you waited impatiently patient for your baby girl to come home. You told him to knock because you knew the doorbell would wake Trent upstairs but you got too excited and decided to meet them outside. A short 15 minutes later you popped outside and watched Tyler holding Teddy walk up the pathway up to your front door. She was clinging to him looking incredibly sleepy but also so comfortable.

“Teddy girl, don’t you want to get home and see mummy?” Tyler cooed, swiping his thumb over her cheek. She nodded her head ‘yes’ but kept her eyes shut tiredly.

“Is that my baby?!?” You cooed in a sweet voice out to them as Tyler kept walking with her. Teddy was quick to lift her head off his shoulder. She whipped around to see you.

“Mama!!!!!” She squealed, eagerly wiggling to get out of his arms, her tiredness vanishing. Tyler laughed and placed her on the ground. “Mama! Mama! Miss!” She ran to you giddily, having to use her arms to help her get up on to each of the steps up to you.

“Hi, my beautiful girl! Did you have fun?” You asked as you picked her up and held her up on your hip. You kissed her cheek repeatedly. She nodded to answer. “Can we say thank you to Ty for letting you sleep over?” You cooed, picking your head up to look at Tyler. She got out her best effort at it, sounding a bit more like tank than thank but it was the thought that count.

“Of course. We had the best time, didn’t we?” Tyler smiled and came to give you a hug. He kissed Teddy goodbye after you two caught up for a bit. You carried her back inside as she cuddled up to you, pushing her face against you emphatically.

“Did you have a good sleep, Ted?” You asked her softly once back in the house. She told you the cutest sleepiest ‘yeah’ you’d ever heard. “Good, I’m glad, baby. Do you know who is still sleeping upstairs?” She looked at you with a furrowed brow at first but then her eyes widened with excitement. “Daddy is. Should we go wake him up?” You cooed. Teddy gave you another ‘yeah’ only this time with slightly more energy, pulling at your top to get more comfortable on you as you made your way back upstairs. “Daddy?” You softly sang as you knocked on the door of your bedroom. “I found the cutest, sleepiest girl in the whole world who wants to see you.”

“Oh, my baby bear. C’mere give me a cuddle. I missed you.” Trent yawned, stretching his arms above his head before he reached them out to you, sitting up back against the headboard. You placed her on the end of the bed on your side and let her crawl over to him. You climbed back into the bed following her. You cuddled up to Trent but got tired and stopped listening despite the very adorable conversation ensuing. About a half hour must’ve passed when you started to doze a little further off. “Is mummy going back to sleep?” Trent teased squeezing your side. You giggled out a ‘no’ squirming away from his hands. Maybe you were but you weren’t now. “Who’s gonna make us breakfast?” Trent asked Teddy with the presumption it’d be you.

“Dada!” She yelled to your delight and to his displeasure. You laughed and sat up some. You pulled Teddy into your lap. You smushed your cheek against hers and looked at Trent with a smug smile.

“Yeah, good girl. Dada should make breakfast for us.” You cooed in a teasing tone, holding your smile. Trent rolled his eyes and threw his head to the side less than impressed with Teddy’s response, throwing him into work this morning.

“Alright, anything for my girls. You want to stay with mama or come with me?” Trent pressed a kiss to your lips and then looked at Teddy. She let out another more rambunctious ‘dada.’

“Of course.” You rolled your eyes with a giggle. You’d felt much more secure in your relationship with your daughter but she was the dictionary definition of a daddy’s girl. It was no surprise she wanted to go downstairs with him. She was entertained when he did absolutely nothing. He didn’t even have to say a word and she’d giggle. So the morning alone with him, undivided attention, no training, just them, it was a dream.

“Can you say ‘bye mama we love you’ for me?” Trent asked her, pulling her back from you and squishing her cheeks together with one hand for a kiss before she could answer him.

“Bye mama!” Teddy yelled loudly. It was early but honestly seeing her excited, happy, talking, it would never get old, it would never feel bothersome, not even the loudest of ‘mamas’. You’d do anything to see her in moods like this.

“Bye, Teddy girl. Kiss, please.” You asked her, pushing your lips out for her. She leaned in and pressed her pout to yours. “Give one more.” You giggled holding her to you now. ‘Mmmmwah!’ you let out an extra loud sound with the last kiss and then proceeded to kiss her everywhere overzealously squishing her. Her giggles flooding out before they went downstairs.

You looked at Trent apprehensively in the car as he drove. He could sense your nerves. The tension in the car radiating from you was thick in the air. At a stop light Trent sighed and looked at you. He didn’t want to say anything yet, he figured he’d let you have the car ride in peace before he bombarded you with a barrage of support. He picked up your hand and laced his fingers with yours though. He picked them up and brought them to him, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand. He rested your hand in his lap now with his. You exhaled and shut your eyes when you saw the signage up ahead for the clinic you promised Trent you’d go and check out. When he parked you sat in the front seat for a moment with your elbows resting on your knees, your head in your hands attempting to compose yourself. Trent came to your side of the car and opened the door for you. He ran his hand up and down your back waiting for you.

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. You’re strong. We're just making sure you're healthy. Yeah?” You let out a measly ‘yeah’ in response. He kissed your temple. “I’m here the whole time. I’ve got you, baby.” He gave you a soft sympathetic smile when you finally mustered up the courage to look up at his brown puppy dog eyes.

“Thank you for coming with me.” You shyly said before lacing your hand with his. Your other arm reached across you and wrapped around his bicep. You needed him with you. The times you’d gone to doctors, which was plenty, was always a fairly terrible experience. You were either with your mum who wasn’t all that empathetic, you were going against your will, or you were by yourself.

“Not doing this alone, beautiful.” He cooed, holding the door open for you. You’d never been here before but even going to the waiting room was giving you ptsd from all your previous experiences at doctors appointments. Probably one of your worst qualities was your ability to pretend you were fine, you avoided medical help purposefully so when you were here, it really hit home that things had probably gone too far. You rested your head on Trents shoulder, doing your best not to cry. His arm was draped around you. The other still holding your hand in your lap. A nurse came out and called your name. Trent stood up with you but gave you a hesitant look to see if you wanted him actually with you in the room. You definitely did so he smiled and walked alongside you.

“I’m sorry we’re even here.” You looked at Trent sitting on an extra stool in the room while you hopped up on the examination table waiting for the attending doctor. He smiled at you once more. He shook his head disapproving of your apology. It wasn’t necessary in his mind. All he wanted was to make sure you were okay. You sat on the table for what felt like hours kicking your legs back and forth anxiously hitting the bench with your heels before Trent rolled over on the stool and put his hand on your knee to stop the annoying noise. “Sorry I’m scared.” You looked at him with a panic threatening to spill over your lash line in the form of tears. He kissed your knee and slid a little closer to you.

“Do not apologize to me. I know it feels scary, but there's no need to be. I’m here for you. I’m not going anywhere. We’re here to make sure you are healthy for yourself and for our family, and that beautiful little baby girl we have. It’s all going to be okay, I promise baby.” His voice was low and calm. Incredibly steady and sure. It put your mind at ease until the door opened and your heart began beating wildly in your chest. A knot in your throat immediately forming.

“Ms. Y/L/N?” A woman asked. You nodded shyly. “Don’t be nervous, hun. It’ll only be a few simple things today so let’s just take a look and we’ll take things as slow as you like, alright?” She cooed sweetly. She performed a physical exam, taking your weight things like that before she reviewed some of your vitals, she took some blood to examine, and then a more psychological evaluation to learn more about your eating behaviors and beliefs. She was kind and gentle the whole time. A few tears definitely were shed though. “Most new moms experience postpartum ‘baby blues’ after childbirth.” The doctor began speaking and Trent was quick to leave his seat to come and be next to you. “I think of course, with your previous medical history, you have had an incredibly amplified response after the birth of your daughter. Additionally, when considering your environment and the high stress social factors you're under, it is quite a storm but the good thing is, storms do pass.” She continued and Trent felt like someone punched him in the stomach. This was his fear. He asked you if he made things worse and you said no but he knew that the environment you had been thrust into, his environment was a driving factor, and the doctor just confirmed it. It was and it wasn’t in your mind. Subconsciously you’d be going to his games absolutely panicked about what you looked like but it never clicked for you that it was something you wanted to do anything other than worry. You wanted to be good for him. It didn’t feel unhealthy and yet it most definitely was.

“We’re going get you better, baby. Keep you happy and healthy.” Trent cooed trying to distract himself from his current spiral of thoughts as he drove you both home. You felt… okay. It was odd. It was validating to hear from the doctor and have the support of Trent but obviously they weren’t exactly the best things to have confirmed about yourself.

“I love you, T. Thank you so much for coming with me. I want to be better for you.” You cooed sadly staring out the window not being able to look at him. In a backwards way you felt like you were disappointing him.

“Be better for yourself, alright? Teddy and I will always be there to support you, baby.” He kissed your cheek at the next light.

“I honestly don’t even feel like I want to go after everything.” You whispered to Trent laying on his chest. After a long day you had put Teddy down for bed and you decided to cozy up in the cinema for a movie. You had bachelor and bachelorette parties planned by your friends. “I just want to stay with you right here.” You pouted as you continued to whine to him. You weren’t doing things rigidly traditionally but you’d still planned small holidays with your respective friends a month out from the wedding. Yes, a month. Your wedding was in a month and you were getting increasingly more and more anxious about all the things you still needed to get done but ahead of that, holidays.

“Well, baby I think it’s pretty planned but I’ll see you right after. Will go by quick” He kissed your head but he really was trying to focus on the film you were watching. The idea of going on a hen do with the likes of Lauren, Winnie and a few of your friends sounded like an amazing time but you also just were so terrified something like your night pre-webley would happen again. Both Lauren and Winnie assured you that wouldn’t happen. Trent did as well. He had even gone as far as to call Winnie and talk about making sure you’d be okay.

“They should go without us. We should just have our own holiday right here. Me and you.” You giggled. You propped yourself up on your elbows resting on his chest looking up at him. He gave you a soft sleepy smile. You returned it before you kissed his lips.

“Oh yeah? What do you want to do on our holiday?” He hummed, switching his focus from the screen to you. Your angelic smile was more captivating than any silver screen. He kept his cheeky smile, one of his hands sliding down from the small of your back to your ass, the other picking up your chin.

“Could just be us, stay in bed the whole time. I’d get to kiss you whenever I want.” You cooed nuzzling into his hand holding your face. He shook his head at how silly you sounded.

“Baby, that’s literally us now. Every off day I have, we spend extra time in bed. You genuinely kiss me whenever you want anyway. That’s not exactly a holiday is it?” He cooed tilting his head looking for your recognition. You just smiled shyly. “If we’re going on holiday, skipping a stag do mind you, I’ve got rules.” You then tilted your head to the side looking at him with inquiry. “Rule one… need you by my side the whole time.” He began mapping out his ruled for Trent and Y/N’s fictional holiday at home. You hummed in agreement wrapping your arms around him and pulling yourself tighter to his warm body. ‘Second, most importantly, no clothes, none, if you’re with me, you’re without these.” He snapped the strap of your tank top back down on your shoulder. “You don’t need any of this” He spoke a bit softer now.

“Rule three…” You cooed, interrupting him to fill in another mandate. He smiled at your interjection “You fuck me all day, every day.” You whispered in his ear coming to nibble on his earlobe. He let out a breathy chuckle. He squeezed you tighter to him, dropping his hand to join the other kneading the fat of your ass.

“I can do that. What about at night? Anything you want every night from me?” He teased cheekily kissing your cheek. You pulled back and straddled his lap. You shrugged innocently. “I think I will fuck you all night too, yeah? Just to keep things balance, you know? What do ya think, baby?” He cooed with a cheeky smirk. You nodded. He pulled you by waist and wrapped his arms around your back in a bear hug aggressively tight to him. He rolled side to side bringing you with him. “Love you so much. So so much.” He grunted muffled into your hair. You could barely breath thats how tight he squished you. You giggled and attempted to wiggle away at first but you gave up knowing you could never out strength him. You laid limp and let him man handle you until he got tired and pulled your face to kiss your lips.

“Get up!” Trent said fairly harshly as he slapped your ass while you laid half asleep still in bed. The morning light barely was even coming through your windows. You didn’t even know what time it was, that’s how early it was, you couldn’t even have a guess.

“You’re in off-season. Go back to bed, you psycho.” You retorted with a groan, nuzzling further into your pillows. You pulled the covers up to cover you more but Trent was quick to fight you on it, holding the other end tight.

“Nah, let’s go. We’re going to work out.” He said picking up your arm from beside you and pulling you. Your body slid along the mattress but you were dead weight. After you had gone to the clinic to meet the doctor she had discussed getting more into fitness for strength and stress relief. Creating a new and healthier relationship with working out aside from using it solely as a tool to lose weight. Trent’s eyes lit up because he knew this was something he could help with.

“We’re not doing anything. You can go do that.” You grumbled trying to wrangle your hand free from him. This was something he was good at. He wanted to be involved and if there was one place he knew he would feel comfortable assisting in, it would be in a gym.

“Come on! Gonna make you a real buff ting” He laughed using a bit of slang he probably wouldn’t use day to day but it applied and was funny. He was trying to be light and fun and not say ‘get out of bed, you’ve had a terrible month and you were told by a doctor you have to work out because you were getting widely unhealthy.’ He was far nicer than that though. He loved you too much.

“I don’t want to be a buff ting.” You rebutted. He smirked at your American pronunciation of a very British phrase. You rolled your eyes unamused with his fascination with your accent.

“Not having it, I’ll bring you down just like this. Nothing’s stopping me from just carrying you as is to the gym with me now so if you want to wear one of your cute little workout sets you better get up on your own.” He quipped tapping at your ass covered by the blankets.

“You just want me in a cute little workout set.” You cocked your head to the side to look at him. He looked beautiful. He hadn’t put a top on yet. His shorts hung low with a pair of white crew socks on. Frankly, you just wanted to pull him back into bed and do some cardio there.

“I do. I really do.” He cooed running his hand down your back over your butt, not without slapping your ass once more. You whined but he continued dragging his touch down the back of your legs. He got to your ankle and pulled, dragging your body physically down the bed.

“T!!!” You wiggled helplessly. “Okay! Okay!” You fell into giggles. “I’m going! You're so annoying. Just let me change into the silly set you want to see and then we can go.” You looked at him with a stupid smile on your face and his face pulled into a smug grin letting go of you. He stood with his hands on his hips waiting purposefully impatiently and more than happily watched you peel your t-shirt off and struggle to pull a sports bra over your head.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter 🤍

Next part - Chapter 22 xx

#trent alexander arnold #trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander arnold imagines #taa x reader #taa66 #footballer x y/n #footballer x reader #trent alexander arnold smut

128 notes · View notes

obsessivestar · 3 months ago

Text

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - A Ted Nivison X Reader

{{-Ooooh we gettin' juicy in Chapter 5 folks, next one might be a lil' spicy ;^))). If you wanna catch up on how we got here, I'd recommend starting at Chapter 1 and go from there! All old *AND* new Chapters will always be linked at the very bottom ♡ Thanks so much for bein' here and enjoy! :^) -}}

//General Warnings: 18+ fic, Reader implied to be afab and under 5'5.

Chapter Warnings: Heavy language, implied sexual thoughts ig

Word count: 4.6k\\

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 & @callsign-scully

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

Chapter 5: You're Going To Be Trouble.

The rest of that day on set was spent filming a few more scenes with the extras. I found it a little strange at this point that we had filmed almost nothing with some of the main characters. Turns out, some of the extras could only be up here for the first week, so Tanner was getting all of the filming done with them first. It was fine by me, I needed a little break after that first kiss anyway.

God, that first kiss.

We did too much, I know we did, but...I can't say I regret it. Not at all. Ted was a better kisser than I was expecting. Suddenly, I find myself wanting to be one of 'the homies' he claims to smooch up so much. Truthfully, I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. Joseph seems to be cool with the idea of Ted and I fooling around now, but maybe he wasn't wrong before. I couldn't relax for the kissing scene until we were alone, and then I practically jumped on him. Tanner admitted it wasn't what he was expecting, but he liked it anyhow. Still, these feelings are starting to affect my job. What even are these feelings?

They could just be coming from the film, right? What if this isn't real? Or even worse, what if it IS real? Ted seemed to be struggling just as much with that kiss, not to mention all that flirting. Does he feel this tension as harshly as I do? What if we do find some twisted way to sleep together? What happens when it's a wrap on the whole film?

What if we have to part ways?

What if I don't want to?

I lay awake at night, staring up at the ceiling like I had done yesterday, once again thinking about Ted. All of these thoughts are racing through my mind, and I can't properly grasp any of them. When I close my eyes, I just see Ted kissing me. I feel his hands around my waist, I feel his stubble against my fingertips, his lips refusing to part from mine, his implied desire to go further, 'be louder'. I take a deep breath, breathing out through my mouth to calm myself. Even if all I do is kiss the guy for the next 2 and a half weeks, I'll be thinking about it every night. I know I will.

I wake the next morning to the sound of a lot of people moving around downstairs. Many members of the film crew were searching the entire living room. Some had lifted up the sofa, some were looking around the kitchen, moving cameras, practically pulling the place apart. I could see Tanner, Joseph, and Dan were helping out, Joe especially. He seemed upset.

"Is there a fucking bomb somewhere in the house?" I asked with a chuckle, coming down the stairs to walk to Joe. "What's happened?"

"Your clothes are gone." Joe admits with a frown, rummaging through some of the kitchen cupboards. He must've been desperate if he was looking through the kitchen for clothes.

"Uh...no they're not?" I furrow my brows in confusing, gesturing upstairs. "They're...in my room, I just changed."

"No no no no, the ones I brought. Your film wardrobe. They're just--they're just gone." Joe groans, closing some of the kitchen cabinets. Uh oh. That's over half of my clothes for this trip. My personal suitcase was way smaller than the one Joe had brought and had barely a week's worth of clothes in it. We had spent days getting all of those other outfits together for 'Kara', and I was supposed to take it all home when the film wrapped. Everything I was going to wear for the next 2 and a half weeks were gone.

"Alright, we've checked...literally everywhere. I even went outside.." Ted approached Joe and I, wearing a baby blue t-shirt and some brown slacks kept up by a nice black belt. I believe this fit was one of his own. I could tell. Ted had a nice sense of style. "I didn't leave it outside." Joe huffs, crossing his arms as he leans back against the kitchen counter. "It was down here by the kitchen, away from the camera's, in a bag."

"...It was in a bag?" Tanner asks from across the room, stretching his neck out a bit so he could see us. "Yeah, the suitcase I had it in fucking broke when I brought it upstairs last night, so I had to put it all in a bag until our hangers came in." Joe explained, running his fingers through his hair. "I couldn't drag it up the stairs by myself so I left it in here."

Tanner frowned, coming over to join the 3 of us in the kitchen. "What kind of bag?" Tanner asked with a nervous smile, gesturing his hands out in front of Joe.

"I had to throw them in--" I see realization hit Joe like a ton of bricks, his expression changing from frustration to near anguish. "I'm a fucking idiot."

"What?" Tanner frowns again. "You're not an idiot."

"I'm an absolute fucking idiot."

"Why?"

"Tanner?"

"Yeah?

"Did the garbage get taken out today?"

"Yeah."

"The garbage was her clothes."

"...OH..."

Joe places both of his hands over his face and moves his finger up into his hair to pull at it with another groan, a frustrated smile and a chuckle leaving him. I honestly felt pretty guilty, even if I had nothing to do with this. Maybe if I hadn't been the first to turn in for the night, I would've been able to offer to put the bag in my room.

"How many outfits we talkin'?" Ted asks, placing his hands on his shoulders. "Like...10? I think?" Joe answers, shaking his head and swallowing thickly, making an audible 'gulp' noise. "I don't know man--I'm just--I'm overwhelmed. I'm fucking sorry."

"No no, it's okay, we can fix this.." Ted speaks to Joe in a comforting tone, holding his hands out with his palms pointed to the ground. "We're literally 5 minutes away from the city, we can get new clothes, right?" Ted asks, turning his wrists in a little shrug.

"I'm not letting either of you front any of those costs." Joe replied, shaking his head. "Oh, they don't have to." Tanner chimes in, looking at Joe. "I got an emergency credit card literally for when something like this was gonna happen."

"Emergency credit card?" I repeated, furrowing my brows again.

"Yeah, it's got a little under a thousand in it right now." Tanner explained, reaching into his back pocket to pull out his worn leather wallet. "I signed up for it a couple weeks ago just in case we needed it. My instructor recommended it."

Joe and I look at each other and I smile at him. I see a sense of relief wash over his body, but he's still a little reluctant. "Tanner, I--I don't want to spend a thousand of your money because of my fuck up."

"See, that's the best part: It's technically not my money. It's the school's." Tanner smiled, pointing at Joe. "As long as it's related to this film and I can prove it was an emergency, they cover it."

Joe gives a humorous smirk and shrugs. "OK that's different, I'm OK spending your school's money." He chuckles, getting a laugh from Tanner.

After informing everyone to stop the search, the 4 of us have a talk and agree to split up for the day. Tanner and Joe will stay here and take the time to get some of the last solo shots with the extras done and over with, and Ted and I will head out in his Tacoma once again to go outfit shopping. In reality, Joe could've been the one to go with me, but he lied about wanting to watch Tanner be a director. I know he was lying because he winked at me as Ted was busy putting a long sleeved brown shirt on. It was meant to be a little chilly today anyways.

As soon as we stepped out, it was just Ted and I once again.

After pulling out of the driveway, we're once again on the road to head into the city. It's a Friday, so the roads are a bit more packed than usual. At one point we even ran into some traffic, which caused Ted and I to start an out of the blue conversation detailing interesting facts about each other. I had told him a few interesting things about myself, but boy did I feel boring compared to him. He told me all about some of the things he had done for YouTube content, like his trips to the Rainforest Café and Margaritaville with Eddy, his 400mg Nerd Rope incident, when he watched all the barbie movies, all of It. Anything I said, he'd immediately upstage me. But the one thing; the one thing that surprised me about him the most was...

"Your whole name is Theodore?"

I turn my head to look at Ted as he kept his eyes on the road, or more like on the still SUV at the red light in front of us. "Theodore Nivison.."

"Junior, too. I'm the sequel." Ted grins, glancing at me for a moment. "I almost introduced myself to you as 'Theo', actually, but I figured Tanner had already told you about me."

"Oh yeah, that would've made you sound even more like a prick."

"Well, see, I had this idea that I needed to be charming, but now I see you're a fucking wench, so.."

"Wench!?" I start laughing, tilting my head back. This mother fucker. He does not need to be this funny. He can't be handsome and funny. It isn't fair. "You're a fucking tool, Theodore"

"Oh I hate hearing my full name in your voice." Ted cringes playfully. "Don't do that."

"I'm gonna start calling you Theodore now."

"Please, don't. I'll take 'Theo' and 'Teddy', those are fine."

"I thought you didn't like Teddy?" I make my voice sound a little higher and lean my arm against the storage compartment between us, batting my eyelashes at Ted. He turns his head to look at me and say something, but he pauses. Our faces are close again and I think I see him blush for a moment, but he rolls his eyes and turns his head away to look out the front window again. "I don't mind it from you."

"Awe, Theodore! You do care!"

I'm giggling to myself in the passenger seat as the light turns green, adjusting myself so I'm fully seated. Ted gives me playful smacks on the arm before he starts driving again, pestering me to be quiet as he drives. I'm lightly whacking at his hand whenever he tries to pester me, giggling like an absolute fool. I just love messing with him. I absolutely love messing with him.

We drove around for a little bit, trying to decide where to go to get these clothes. We didn't want to spend hours and hours going from store to store and we certainly didn't intend to max out Tanner's card, even if it wasn't his money. Ted mentioned that he usually just goes to Old Navy, so we settled on there. The closest Old Navy was in a strip mall, so we had to find a parking spot and walk around inside for a little bit just to get to it. A lot of the smaller stores we passed by were either completely empty or closed down entirely, yet there were a lot of people walking around just for the food court. Valid.

"You wanna get lunch after?" I ask Ted, glancing up at him as we walk. He's so tall. "You askin' me out?" He remarks with a smirk. "I'm asking if you're hungry. I'm hungry."

"...Yeah, I could eat, but not here." Ted agreed with a little shrug, slipping his hands in his pockets. "I'll take us somewhere better later."

"Not the Rainforest."

"...Alright, but you're no fun."

We spend the entire late morning and half of the afternoon together in that mall. The entire time we're joking with each other and laughing together. It felt like it did on the very first day when we had to get breakfast: little to no tension, just good vibes and even better chemistry. As much as I enjoyed getting weak in the loins by his charming looks and deep voice, I also enjoyed just casually getting along with him. I enjoyed having this friendship

This friendship has A LOT of sexual tension in it, but still, I like being his friend.

I had tried on a TON of clothes at that Old Navy. Turns out, not a bad place to shop. They had some sort of flash sale going on, so we got a lot more than just 10 simple outfits. Even Ted had decided to buy a new shirt, letting me help him decide between a few before we'd pay for our stuff and leave. We took a lot of photos, too. At one point, Ted had completely underestimated if whether or not a shirt would fit me. I came out of the dressing room with it about half on. It barely covered my bra and completely showed my midrift. There was no way I was able to pull it down, I looked like an overgrown toddler. I looked ridiculous, but man, were we laughing about it. At another point, we accidentally took the long way back around to the entrance we came in from, so we passed by a fairly busy Victoria's Secret. Ted sneakily moved over to a full set of pink lingerie and held it up to his body, gesturing over at me with a humorous smirk.

"You're not buying that for me." I snicker, crossing my arms at me. "It's for me, bitch!" Ted remarks with a cringey, feminine lisp, hooking the lingerie back up where it belonged to scurry back to me before being seen. I laughed hard enough for my voice to start echoing across the mall. Everything he did today was making me laugh. Even when we were leaving the mall and I realized Sweet Escape was playing, Ted was making me laugh with his...unique idea of dancing. Maybe he liked making me laugh, I don't know. I wasn't complaining.

We get back to Ted's tacoma just before it starts raining. Ted has to rush to throw all of the new clothes in the backseat before he can get in, some of the rainwater weighing down his tall hair a little as he sits down in the driver's seat and closes his door with a huff.

"Look at us, getting caught in the rain." I grin at Ted, watching as he ran his fingers through his now damp hair. "Yeah, super romantic, I'm sure.". Ted playfully scoffed, starting up his truck to pull out of the mall parking lot. He'd drive a little slower once the rain would pick up, keeping his eyes on the road. This particular drive was quiet, but that changed once we parked by the restaurant we were planning to get lunch at.

"No way am I walking in that.." Ted speaks, taking his seatbelt off so he can relax back against his seat. "I don't think it'll last much longer." I reply, taking my seatbelt off as well. "It's probably just a passing storm. We can just kill time.." I lean forward to look up through the front window, trying to see how dark the clouds above us are.

"That works, got a question for you anyway." Ted spoke, shifting his body a little so he could face me more comfortably. I gesture at him to let him ask his question, checking my phone's weather app to see how long the storm was estimated to last.

"Why couldn't you kiss me yesterday?"

I stop scrolling through the weather app to look at Ted, raising a brow at him with a smirk. "From what I can remember, I had no problems kissing you yesterday.."

"Yeah, once we were alone." Ted smirks at me, tilting his head a little when I didn't give an immediate answer. I stare back at him for a moment before adjusting in my seat to face him more, leaning a bit against the storage space between us once again. "You couldn't kiss me either." I smirk back at him, squinting a little as if to examine him. "You're the one that said you could kiss the--"

"Yeah I know what I said, 'pretty lady' I know. I know." Ted interrupted me, holding his hand up in between us. "I'm asking you, I have my own reasons."

"And what reasons are there?"

"I'm asking you, princess. Don't dodge around it."

"No no no, now you've got me curious."

"I don't fucking care what I've got you, I'm not telling you shit until--"

"You're the one that was supposed to give the tell, Ted."

Ted and I lock eyes once again, my smirk turning into a knowing smile. It's true. All of those nerves? Ted technically started it. At first, Ted was too nervous to give the tell on camera so Tanner wanted us to do a practice kiss. That's where I was personally messing up.

"Why couldn't you kiss me, Theo~?"

Without even realizing, my eyes linger down to his quaint blush toned lips, quickly darting my eyes back up to meet his once more. Did he notice? I hope to god he didn't notice. I had been thinking about that first kiss for nearly an hour last night, but being alone with Ted makes me think about it again. My stomach feels fluttery just looking into his eyes. I have to hold back the urge to giggle anytime he smiles at me. Part of me even wants to kiss him right now.

Ted's silent smirk turns into a charming smile, raising his chin a little.

"...I don't think it needs to be said at this rate, does it?" Ted finally responds, his eyes seemingly searching my face. That certainly isn't going to help the butterflies in my stomach, but it's the closest thing I'm probably going to get to a clear answer about Ted's feelings, at least for now.

"Well...I guess we're both disappointments, then." I say, resting my chin on my hand.

"Guess so.." Ted shrugs lightly, keeping his gaze on mine. I glance at his neck before looking at his face again.

"You're going to be trouble for me, aren't you?" I ask in a gentle voice.

"I kinda hope so, yeah." He grins back at me, lowering his chin to fully meet my gaze. "That's what I'm goin' for."

The sun's harsh rays slowly move over to practically light up the inside of the truck, revealing that the storm had finally passed. I wonder what would've happened if that storm had lasted just a little bit longer. I probably would've kissed him. God, I wanted to kiss him.

Ted and I finally exit his Tacoma to go inside and grab some lunch, deciding to dine-in despite knowing we had been out longer than anticipated. I brought this up to Ted, but he assured me Tanner wouldn't care. I'm starting to think Tanner and Joe are trying to set us up. Even as Ted and I sit at our booth and continue to talk casually about ourselves, I get a sense that Ted and I have a timer between us. I don't know what it's counting down to, but either this tension is going to just fizzle out as harmless flirting and we go our separate ways, or it's going to explode in our faces. Yesterday's kiss makes me feel like it's going to be the ladder.

I had a big storm of my own on it's way.

After lunch, Ted and I returned to set with everything we had bought, plus some leftovers for Tanner. Joe and I spent the rest of the evening getting all of the outfits together, making sure to keep them all hung up in my room this time. Next thing I know, the day is over and I'm once again in my room, just looking over social media on my phone. I'm wearing a flowy nightgown to bed tonight with only pajama shorts on underneath, but I'm comfortable, even though it's late. I probably should've put my phone down an hour ago, but it was hard to fall asleep. It sounded like everyone else was out cold, it was dead quiet out there.

Suddenly, there's a knock at my bedroom door.

I look up from my phone, furrowing my brows a little. Who could that be? Joe?

"Yeah?" I ask in a confused tone, resting my phone in my lap.

"Can I come in for a bit?"

Holy fuck

It's Ted.

At my door.

At my fucking door.

"...Why?" I ask, sounding even more befuddled. Ted responds back with something, but I can barely hear him over the door. "Open the door, I can barely hear you."

Ted slowly opens the door, in the same blue shirt he was wearing earlier with some sweatpants on instead and a laptop in his free hand. "Tanner fell asleep in my bed and his door is locked."

"How did Tanner fall asleep in your bed?"

"We were playing Smash Bros on his switch and he--he just conked out, like magic."

As ridiculous as that would sound to the average person, I believed him. Tanner does just fall asleep sometimes. It's funny.

"What does his door being locked have to do with this?" I ask, pointing down.

"Well, I was gonna just take his bed, but I can't get in."

"Uhh-" I let out a nervous chuckle. "You're not fucking sleeping in here, weirdo."

"No, I--keep fucking dreamin', alright? I just need a space to rest my back while I finish this script. I'm sleepin' downstairs."

"Why can't you work downstairs?"

"Because that couch fuckin' sucks. Can I chill here for a bit or not? Like an hour, tops."

I let out an annoyed huff and roll my eyes, patting the empty spot on the bed beside me.

"Thank you." Ted mockingly bows at me before entering the room, closing the door behind him. I scoot a bit further away so he has more room, watching as he sits down next to me and stretches his legs out in front of him, placing his laptop in his lap.

"I don't see how the couch sucks." I shrug, looking down at my phone again. "It was pretty comfortable the other day."

"Oh cool. Can I steal your bed for the night, then? You can take the fuckin' couch." Ted looks over at me with an amusing smirk.

"Oh now you wanna sleep in my bed?"

"Not if you're yappin' in it."

"I wasn't yappin' in it till' you started fuckin' yappin' in it."

"Well now we're both yappin' in it when I need to be yappin' up my fuckin' work, princess. Quit your yappin."

"I'll stop yappin' when you stop yappin'."

"Alright."

"Fine."

"Good."

I let out a huff as I hold back the urge to laugh, but Ted starts laughing quietly, making me start chuckling as well. I shake my head to myself, lightly wiping my eyes.

"God, we never stop, eh?" I chuckled, looking at Ted again. "No, I don't--I don't think we can sometimes." Ted admits with a grin, running his fingers through his hair briefly before returning to his laptop, scrolling through what looked to be a long page of words before moving to the bottom to start typing again. I look back at my phone and smile to myself. I'm so comfortable with this man. It's a little jarring to me sometimes, but I am.

Ted works quietly alongside me for a few minutes. I'm scrolling through Instagram with my audio muted, so the only sounds are Ted's fingers clicking down against his laptop keyboard and the occasional hum that leaves him. After a little while, the clicking stops, and he decides to spark another conversation. Writer's block gets the best of us, I suppose.

"What do you think about filming so far?" Ted asks me, turning his head once again to look at me. I like the way the laptop is illuminating his face. "I've really enjoyed it." I admit with a soft smile, settling my phone down in my lap once more. "I like...how challenging it's been, y'know? I wasn't expecting this to be the easiest thing in the world or anything, but the amount of problems we've had to solve and the anxieties I've had to push through...it's all been fun. I'm having fun."

"Yeah, it's been a ride for sure, so far.." Ted nods at me, lightly licking his bottom lip. "I've liked getting to hang with Tanner and Joe again, I got to meet you, Dan's a little strange at times but I think he's openin' up. I think he's chill. I like this....tight little group we've developed. I like it. Um..."

Ted pauses for a moment, glancing at his computer screen before looking at me again, his eyes searching my face as if he was contemplating something. "Can I be honest for a sec? Just...between you and me?"

I feel those butterflies in my stomach again, meeting his gaze with a gentle blush along my cheeks. He's so dreamy. "Absolutely.." I speak in a soft tone, giving him a little nod as well.

"Who was it that was supposed to be me again? Mason, I mean. Carl?" Ted points at me as he tries to guess Conner's name, shaking his head at himself. "No. Con-Conrad?"

"Conner." I correct him, a giggle escaping me.

"Conner. Thank you." Ted chuckles a little, looking down at his hand for a moment before bringing his soft eyes up to look into mine once more. "I'm...I'm kinda glad he didn't make it up here. No I am. I am glad he...didn't make it."

I'm met with an incredibly genuine smile from Ted, making me smile back with a quiet sigh, as if one of those butterflies in my stomach flew up and out of me. I didn't need to guess what Ted was implying there, I knew. I just knew what he meant, and it was incredibly sweet. Probably might've been the sweetest thing a guy has said to me in a long, long time.

"But don't tell Joe I said that, he'll probably smack me upside the fuckin' head." Ted makes a smacking gesture to his head, getting another flirty giggle out of me. "No worries, I'm great at keeping secrets." I reply with a confident grin.

"Oh are you?"

"100%.."

My gaze lingers on him, my soft smile relaxing as I gaze into his dark, earthy eyes. The lights were off when Ted had initially entered the room, so the only thing really illuminating us were the screen lights of his laptop and my phone, but still, I could take in every detail of his handsome face. His dreamy eyes, the unique curve of his nose, the plucks of his growing stubble, the little moles along his cheek, the small dimples he creates when he smiles, his quaint but inviting lips, the shape of his jaw, all that hair on his head...

"...Did you just look at my lips?"

__________________________________

|| Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 14 (smut) || Chapter 15 ||

#ted nivison x you #ted nivison fanfiction #ted nivison fanfic #ted nivison x reader #ted nivison #ted nivision #youtuber x reader #youtuber fanfiction #jschlatt #chuckle sandwhich #AllARomCom

54 notes · View notes

wellcomeoneileen · 2 months ago

Note

Why does Randy Harrison deserve compensation? What happened to him? You can DM me if it's not okay to be public

Hey! No it’s totally okay.

⚠️disclaimer - I am a NEW fan and so I am NOT the most informed at all. Other people like @brian-kinney-apologist like really know shit. I initially found things bc watching S4 made me go oh there is bts shit going on for sure and googled, and then when I got on tumblr I saw a bunch of posts talking about it, too.

Lots of older sources are harder to find now bc they didn’t do a digital preservation or the website is expired, but here is what I’ve found, from heated Advocate articles whilst the show aired and then from more measured reflections from podcasts around 2016.

Randy was young and it was his first TV show - when he started he didn’t even have an agent, and really didn’t know what he was getting into. He had done sex scenes on stage and thought that he was pretty prepared for what was to come.

However, he has stated he ended up feeling pretty objectified, such as hearing “we need more shots of Justin’s ass” regularly or expressing a desire to not to go-go dancing type scenes (King of Babylon upset him) and then even more go-go dancing being added (S2 Sap scenes). He was also told to act less gay by casting directors for the show, and to “try to be more butch because Justin isn’t out of the closet”

The show pre-dates intimacy coordinators and there have been allusions, including from the actresses Thea and Michelle, that the sex scenes could be uncomfortable to film.

There was BTS clashing, with producer Tony Jones !!reportedly!!! Saying that Randy was a bitch to work with and “showrunners” “reportedly” saying they would never work with Randy again. There are two interview clips, one from when the show was airing, and one from 2016, when CowLip say they wanted all actors to be comfortable on set, and in BOTH clips , like 15 years apart, Randy kinda like laugh/roll his eyes and Gale looks at him very bemusedly. They had bigger reactions in the ~2003 clip.

He was openly pretty angry as the show went on. He told the Advocate that he would never be friends with or respect Justin if real. He disapproved of the Britin relationship. He said he had to fight to include the scene of Justin topping Brian, which was very important to him. Leading into season 5 he stated he hoped Justin was killed off by getting hit by a truck (obviously being glib, but like he was mad lol)

He has said that lots of scenes needed to be reshot because he struggled to do them so much, like the Cody sexy gun scene that made him so uncomfortable, and then either he or Gale said S5 sex scenes were reshot a lot because they just couldn’t stop laughing at that point anymore.

Peter and Scott recently have said the only time anyone asked for actors’ opinions was right after season 1 ended, and to ME they sounded kinda cheeky about it, all these years later, so perhaps it was a cast sticking point? Unsure, and it wasn’t even Randy who said that. Fat grain of salt.

He has more recently reflected on this time period and expressed regret he went out the way he did, and he understands things better and honors his craft more (heavy paraphrasing!) bc he was mentally checked out by the end and wishes he had finished strong instead.

Also, the cast didn’t realize when signing on how isolated they would be from The Industry. Randy has spoken about this in an unrelated podcast, as have the actors who play Ted and Emmett. NYC or LA are where you want to be for networking, and then signing on to spend the majority of the year in Toronto negatively impacted their careers, they feel. Randy has said he had to start from scratch after the show ended, and Peter and Scott have said Showtime had no idea how to market the show nor their stars, and so they had to just watch as all the initial hype fizzled and nothing was done with them. They were contracted to work too much to seriously be involved elsewhere, while simultaneously not getting good exposure, which I IMAGINE created a dire sort of mood and morale on set. < personal interpretation and fictionalizing history.

Meaning, Randy probably at the very least FELT like he had spent five years on a show that didn’t respect him and it was largely for nothing. He has since stated he appreciates the opportunity and it is the reason he was finically secure, for which he is deeply grateful.

And then finally the fans! He had stalker(s?) and tons of creepy people and was heavily typecast and people would come up to him frequently, which made him uncomfy, and would furthermore act like he was actually Justin, which made him super uncomfy. He was kinda like Chappell Roan!! He was like hey I’m not Justin I’m a person and y’all are freaks. He has publicially declined to speak on the stalking issues, which given his vocal responses to other issues, indicates to ME that it’s pretty personal and upsetting (I mean it’s stalking it’s obviously horrible but you know what I mean). During the show he had a boyfriend that fans like tormented online and even on posters (that bit comes from Tumblr or another forum, so not like verified info on my part at all) because they shipped “Gandy” so hard. I know I’ve read on tumblr about the insane Gandy people but all I remember is they were intense and insane and negatively impacted Randy’s actual real life. Again, that’s info from fans that I haven’t read in article or heard from out of his mouth. Secondary source lol.

This point is PURE speculation, but early interviews with the whole cast were super excited, and they all talked about how excited they were for something ground breaking. By the end, people were angry or giving fluff responses, or in Peter’s case; calmly stating the show was a soap opera and that’s okay. I FEEL like everyone thought they were signing up for something more real/gritty/positive impact to society and then were like oh I’m here to look hot in this show that only moms watch to get them turned on to have sex with their husband. Cool.

Now, do I agree with that - no. But, the show audience was vastly different than expected, and the artistic direction might have been too, both of which might have really disappointed people. Esp Randy and maybe Gale. Randy was a capital T theatre person, and Gale was too and had lots of experimental work and like performance art. Randy has ALSO expressed displeasure with some theater work he did because he didn’t think it was fresh and the audience was only older wealthy white people, so we do know that this sort of thing does matter to his sense of fulfillment at work.

TLDR; had to shoot scenes he didn’t want to, several times, felt objectified on set, disagreed with his character’s direction, maybe felt like he wasn’t being listened to artistically, was cut off from other work opportunities, didn’t appear to get along with leadership, had bad fans, was young and in deep over his head, and at the very least *started* with no career or social support system.

Again!! Am not the most knowledgeable person !!! I do NOT want to spread misinformation so hopefully I’ve tagged where I’m reading into things vs actual quotes but also people who have actually been around pls feel free to say 🙋um actuallllyyyyy

#qaf #queer as folk #ask #randy harrison #this is everything in my head but literally if I’m wrong let me face my punishment

51 notes · View notes

astarionancuntnin · 5 months ago

Text

Die For You (Chapter 6)

summary: the morning after your night with astarion, you discuss a plan to take down the man who attacked you.

rating: E

word count: 5.2k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, reader is tav)

cw: 18+. bit of fluff, lots of angst, more smut. dom!astarion, oral (f!receiving), very dirty talk, possessive sex, p in v, breeding kink (no pregnancy tho), mating press, blood/vampire bites, overstimulation, creampie. full list on ao3

a/n: so i knoooow that classic vampires dont have telepathic abilities but were talking about a vampire ascendant baby girl which is very homebrew so im giving myself the right to rizzle dazzle his powers for the means of this fic, thank you for coming to my ted talk

Masterlist

previous chapter

read on ao3

next chapter

or keep reading down below~

He says, "Ooh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends

I'm the king, and you're the queen, and we will stumble through heaven

If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes

I know you wanna go to heaven, but you're human tonight"

You’re taken out of your deep slumber by the sun’s brightness shining upon your face. You turn away, hiding your eyes from the blinding light to enjoy a few more minutes of rest, when a warm, honeyed voice greets you.

“Good morning, little love. Had a good night of sleep?”

You hum, your voice dozy from sleep, while he strokes your hair, and you find yourself snuggling closer to him as you press your forehead gently against his thigh. His warmth was always surprising, but not unwelcome.

“Would you care for breakfast?” he continues.

You grumble, pulling the bed sheets over your head. “Do I have to? I’d rather stay in bed if I have a say in the matter.”

He smiles, “That can be arranged.”

You raise your head when you realise he hasn't moved, unsure if he's waiting for your response and instead, you find him with his eyes closed and brows furrowed. He opens them again after a moment and meets your gaze once more.

“There. Shouldn’t be long now.”

You sit up, puzzled by what just happened, but he’s quick to reply to your unspoken interrogation.

“A master holds a telepathic connection with his creations, and this bond can hold between great distances.” You suddenly remember the encounter you had with Astarion’s siblings back then; how the spawn twisted in pain when it received Cazador’s orders and Astarion notices your worry. “It doesn’t hurt them, if that’s your concern.”

“It didn’t look that way the last time I witnessed it,” You bring your knees to your chest as you sit up, before covering yourself with the light silk bed sheet.

“That’s because Cazador enjoyed to torture us, and unlike him, I’m no monster. I would expect you to know me better than that by now.”

It’s true, he never mistreated his spawns, not in your presence anyway, and Amedee even mentioned how well she was treated since she had become his servant. You had no reason to believe otherwise, aside from your own lingering preconceptions.

As you think of her, Amedee enters your room with a prompt salutation, carrying along a golden platter of food that she leaves at the end of your bed. You could tell she was embarrassed despite the lack of pink in her cheeks, as she struggled to look at you and quickly left after Astarion dismissed her. If she had only looked up to you, she would’ve seen the grin that appeared on your face from this brief interaction. Once she leaves, Astarion brings the plate up to you.

“Ask and you shall receive.”

The plate is generously filled with a variety of fruits, cheeses, and meats, along with freshly baked bread slices to pair with them. By the amount displayed, you would assume that the plate is meant to be shared, but Astarion doesn’t indulge. Instead, he waits for you to serve yourself. You’re overwhelmed by the vast selection and hesitate before reaching out to make a pick or your first bite; you settle on a bit of dried meat and cheese, their aromas complementing each other perfectly. You close your eyes as you savour the rich flavours on your tongue; although you still had no intention of getting up anytime soon, you were thankful for the breakfast. Astarion smiles, happy to see you eat to your heart’s desire, and he leans back on the stack of pillows, admiring you.

In truth, you’re extremely grateful for everything he’s done for you, especially with what happened the day prior, and you want to express it, but somehow you struggle to get the words out. You can’t find the right words, and you don’t want to risk breaking the comfort you have just managed to create with him, after so many days of hatred and tension. You open your mouth once, and twice, without a single sound coming out, and you think, maybe I should let it go, maybe if I say nothing it’ll be better than saying anything at all. Maybe if we don’t talk about it, then I can pretend this dreaded ball never happened.

“What troubles you my dear?”

Well, now you can’t.

You sigh heavily, getting ready to finally pour your heart out to him. “I’ve been meaning to thank you. For yesterday, after the ball. After what happened, I was… I’m not even sure. It’s always something you hear happen to others, I never would have imagined it happening… to me.” You feel yourself spacing out again into the events and you snap out of focus to find Astarion staring back at you earnestly. “I’m just glad that you were there to stop him, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Had I known the bastard would’ve followed you out, I would’ve gone with you into the gardens. All I can do now is assure that he will never get close to you again.”

“Wait so– You know him?”

“That was Sir Virric Othros. He’s a merchant noble, he deals directly with the economy in Baldur’s Gate. The two other men from the ball, the ones you confronted?” You nod, awaiting more information. “Those were his business partners. Pretentious little shits if you ask me. I know they don't particularly appreciate me, arseholes will bad mouth me at any chance they get. Usually I would let it slide, I don’t have time to deal with petty comments, but attacking you draws the line,” he says, now frowning.

“That checks out, they were doing exactly that when I spoke up in the ballroom, but then I don’t know how his business relates to yours and why he would want to take you down.”

His gaze snaps back at you, “What?”

“That’s… the reason he attacked me. He meant to use me against you.”

He looks away, his eyes flicking left and right, searching his mind for a solution to a problem he couldn’t solve and when his eyes fall back on you, they are filled with a darkness that sends a shiver down your spine. “You can’t leave this palace, do you hear me?”

“What?! Why?”

“Don’t you realise what this implies?” He gets up and picks up his clothing from the previous night to dress himself back up in a rush. “If these people have it in their mind to take me down, they won’t stop until they get what they want. We don’t know who they hired, if they already have something else planned–”

“I can defend myself!”

“Like you did so wonderfully at the ball?” He catches your frown as you avert your eyes, resigned from answering back and he sighs remorsefully. He leans closer as he settles back on the bed, drawing your gaze back to him.

“You might be the strongest woman I know, but they’re vile, they won't fight fair, and they won't hesitate to use underhanded means to get what they want. I cannot risk having you out with a target on your back, the only place I can assure you will be safe is here, in the palace.”

You blink a few times and your eyes light up as a sudden thought crosses your mind, “Then let’s take them down first.”

He scoffs, “Darling, I’m not against the idea, but I can hardly see how. We are talking about nobles amongst the most influential of Baldur’s Gate, their disappearance won’t go unnoticed.”

“We could say that they got abducted? Disappeared without a trace, somehow, I don’t know, but we’ll find something, we need to get rid of them. If they’re that dangerous and influential, prison won’t cut it.” You glare into his eyes trying to convey your devotion. “We need to take them out ourselves. And I will kill this Virric myself.”

Astarion can see the anger burning in your eyes as he stares back at you with the same intensity; for the first time since his ascension, you’re both thinking of the same thing. He gets back up, grabbing the remaining discarded clothes from the previous night before heading for the door. “Get dressed and meet me in my office. I might have an idea.”

—

By the time you get to Astarion’s office, he’s already completely immersed in a world of his own, shifting between multiple pieces of papers that populated his desk. You had never taken the time to visit his personal rooms, you’re surprised to see his office filled with books on various topics, but you notice a recurring theme around necromancy, vampires and their powers, and nobility in Baldur’s Gate. Astarion only notices you minutes after you’ve entered, lifting his head to see you approach him.

“For this to work, we would need to attack them somewhere we have control over – the crimson palace, obviously – so I will be hosting a soiree, this way they are within reach and we can deal with them however we see fit. We can work out the details as we go, but it should cover the essentials: lure them here without suspicion, and allow us to proceed under cover.”

Ever the planner. Some things never change, you think to yourself. “Luring them here won’t be enough, we also need to lure them away from the party, where we can deal with them personally.”

“That should be easy enough; if they notice you before you walk away from the rest of the guests, they should take the bait and follow you. They wouldn’t be smart enough to catch on to the trap we lay out, and I could follow them to you, make sure you’re safe.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, “Having the host disappear into the darkness with a few guests and come back out alone? That’s one way to raise suspicions instantly.”

“Well then little soldier, you were always the most intricate strategist, what would you suggest?”

“We need you to be visible at all times, no one can suspect you to be in on this, otherwise we’ll have much bigger problems to worry about. As for me, no one has seen my face yet, but everyone has seen me dance with you at the last ball. I can’t be seen at all during the soiree. You’ll tell the guests I’m sick and cannot attend, and meanwhile I’ll hide in the shadows until the time is right to lure them away.”

He hums, reflecting upon your idea. “Not bad… But then once alone with them, what will you do?”

“If I hide a weapon beneath my dress, I should be able to take care of two of them easily, but three might be tricky. Plus, they’ll probably be armed, as they were last time.”

“I could send you reinforcements. I would just need your signal to have my children come to help.”

You shake your head; something is missing. “We would need to be able to communicate through the party.” You sigh. “I never thought I’d say this, but the tadpoles would’ve been really useful in this scenario.”

“Well…” He pauses. “There is a way to do this without involving those parasites.”

“Which is?” He tilts his head to show the bite marks on his neck and the realisation dawns on you, “You would need to turn me…”

He moves away from his desk, slowly approaching you, “We would be able to talk to each other no matter the distance and without raising suspicions. You would be stronger, swifter, sharper, and any injury you would receive – should you get hurt – would be healed in a matter of seconds.” He reaches you and tilts your chin up to meet your eyes, almost whispering, “You would become untouchable.”

You gulp, as a knot in your throat builds up. There had to be another way, something else that could provide you a way to communicate somehow. You curse yourself for lacking any magical abilities; maybe then you wouldn’t have to resort to such extremes.

“I want to share this gift with you.” He continues as he grabs a hold of your hand. “I’ve only been wanting the best for you, my love. With this strength, no one will dare to take advantage of you. You’ll never have to fear anyone, ever again. Neither of us will. We will be unstoppable, as we should’ve always been.”

When he offered to make you his consort six months ago, you turned him down immediately, almost disgusted by the offer. How ironic for you to consider it now. You can only imagine what your life would’ve looked like had you accepted back then: if it had been anything like these past weeks, you would've had nothing less of a lavish life. Endless parties, custom clothes, all the perfume and jewels you could imagine, and all the attention from the man you loved. As a vampire, you would’ve had the strength to defeat anyone foolish enough to even try to come close to you. You would be able to assist Astarion in helping to rebuild Baldur’s Gate and take down corrupted nobles, as Gods only know how rotten those roots seem to be. Chances are, with your added influence as the saviour of the city, the rebuilding efforts might’ve been further done by now, maybe more nobles would have joined your side and funded the repairs. You wouldn’t have had to travel from one city to another in search of a bed or even company for the night, living comfortably within the walls of the palace besides Astarion.

Lady Ancunín did have a nice ring to it, too...

“If I’m to do this… what will change? Aside from the red eyes and fangs.” It was your biggest fear, to become something you were not.

“You’ll still be you, only better. You’re already perfect, it’s hard to improve.” He senses your incertitude and brings back your eyes to him. “You don’t need to make a decision tonight, no invitations have been sent out yet. You can take all the time you need to think this through. I’ll be by your side no matter what.” He softly strokes your cheek with the back of his hand. “I only care about what’s best for you”

It’s a truth you’ve been denying yourself for too long now, and the signs have only piled up since you’ve been back in his world, but you kept ignoring them, too proud to accept that you had been wrong to leave him. You sigh heavily, letting go of any lingering anxiety about your decision.

“If we’re doing this, I have demands,” your voice is stern, asserting the gravity of your words.

“Anything you wish,” he smiles playfully.

“I know you can have control over your spawn. I don’t give you the right to force me to do anything, ever. I mean it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

His tone suggests otherwise, but you carry on, “I want to be properly fed. No starving tactics to manipulate me in any way.” He nods and you continue, “And finally,” you take a deep breath, as the angst builds up in your chest, “I don’t want to become a ruthless monster. Please stay by my side, help me, guide me.”

“Of course my love, that goes without asking,” his gaze softens, “I’ll guide you through every step of the way.”

You sigh heavily, relived by his promise, “Then it’s settled. I don’t want to waste more time discussing the matter, my mind is made up.” Your eyes wear a new shade of confidence, “I trust you.”

“Thank you, my love,” he smiles softly. “I want this experience to be most pleasurable for you. It’ll be nothing like what I experienced, I'll make sure of that.”

His words reassure you for the time being, but the uncertainty of what to expect creates a lingering anxiety in your chest. To prevent yourself from spending more time chasing those thoughts away, you make a proposition.

“We should do it tonight.”

“Eager, aren’t we?” He teases you.

“The faster it’s done, the faster we can carry on with our plan.”

“And I won’t be the one opposing you, my dear.” He walks back behind his desk where he gets started on arranging the papers he had previously scattered around. “I’ll call for the servants to prepare dinner. Do you have any requests for your last meal?”

A memory suddenly flashes before your eyes and you know exactly what you want.

“Yes actually. Balduran Mash.”

—

After experiencing the most bittersweet dinner of your life, you sought solace in the gardens, enjoying the last hours of sunlight, the feeling of the sun's warmth over your skin, before going back to your room to change into your nightgown for the evening, pondering about how tonight was going to go. You never thought this day would come, and yet, here you were, sitting at your vanity, looking back at your reflection for the last time. By the time you wake up tomorrow, you will be a vampire. Undead.

One of Astarion’s spawns.

The thought still sits uneasy with you, even though you know it’s necessary to see this plan unfold. You will do anything to make it happen; you would rather die than let this Sir Virric get away with what he had done to you. It’ll all be worth it, you think, and Astarion promised it would bring me protection. It truly is for the greater good.

As you think about his words, Astarion knocks at your door before entering your room. For the first time, you see him wear his casual clothes, similar to those he used to wear when you camped together. He approaches you at your vanity, stopping right behind where you sat.

“Having second thoughts, little love?’ He lays his hands upon your shoulders and you look back at his reflection in your mirror.

You sigh heavily. Even if you did have doubts, you couldn’t let fear cloud your judgement. “No. I need to do this.” You look back to your own reflection, your resolve coming back to you. “There’s no other choice.”

“Good.” He lowers his head next to your ear, murmuring. “Are you ready to experience your final night alive?”

A shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot breath against your skin. “Yes.”

“Then follow me,” you spy the wicked smile appearing on his lips as he whispers, before he straightens up. He extends his hand out to you as an invitation for you to follow him, and you rise from your seat as you take him up on his offer.

You would lie to yourself if you said you weren’t terrified. It’s as if your heart was stuck in your throat, and your mind was racing from one thought to another. You stop in your tracks as you near the bed and Astarion turns back to you when he notices your hesitation, “Is something the matter, my dear?”

So many things, and yet you struggle to find which one to mention first. “Will it hurt?” When you speak, your voice is barely audible, as if voicing those words with a quiet voice made them less real as you considered them.

“I promise, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain,” he purrs, caressing your cheek, and you close your eyes at the contact, breathing in deeply. “You trust me, don't you?” You open your eyes back up to find him staring lovingly at you and you nod, “Then you have nothing to fear.”

His hand gets lost in your hair as he pulls you into a deep kiss, and it's as if all the air gets pulled out of your lungs. He grasps your waist roughly, his nails digging through your silk nightgown, and a soft moan escapes you. As you break the kiss gasping for air, his lips trail down to your neck, leaving a path of kisses in its wake. When you breathe in, you’re hit with the intoxicating smell of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy, and you find yourself leaning into him, dizzy from his essence. His hands make their way to your shoulders, lightly grazing your skin there as he pushes away the straps of your nightgown. Your nightclothes are quickly discarded, as the silk easily slides off from your body to your feet, leaving you bare before him. Your chest rises with anticipation at each breath you take, longing for his touch, and yet you remain still – awaiting his next move. As he lifts your chin, your eyes lock with his, and your lips part in anticipation of tasting him once more. He hovers close, murmuring softly, his breath just a whisper away from your mouth.

“You are a vision, my love.”

He leans next to your ear, his hot breath creating a warmth pooling at the bottom of your belly.

“Absolute perfection, ethereal beauty.”

The back of his hand slides along your arm, down to your hand that he brings to his cheek, kissing your skin ever softly.

“And you will be, forever.”

When he faces you again, your eyes are filled with lust and you can’t contain the hunger growing at your core. You close the gap between the two of you in an instant, devouring him, and your hands fall to his trousers, fumble to remove them. Astarion growls into the kiss as you rip open his shirt, not caring for the buttons breaking apart in the process. With his clothes out of the way, he lifts you up to bring you to bed, laying you underneath him all the while continuing to give you the attention you deserve.

“Gods, I wanna devour you.”

Astarion wastes no time to lavish every inch of your skin, starting with your navel, licking and kissing his way down to your thighs, worshipping you as he leaves love bites on his trail. He props your legs up on his shoulder as his mouth bites the soft skin of your thighs, only drawing out the slightest drop of blood, and you grab the bedsheets trying to get a hold of yourself through his teasing. He laps at the fresh wounds to clean it and lets his tongue find its way to your entrance, giving it one long lick while his eyes look for yours.

He tastes your juices on his lips, smirking at you. “Still just as delicious as the first time I tasted you.”

He keeps playfully licking you, barely grazing over your neglected clit, and you squirm under him, until he grabs your thighs strongly, keeping you grounded against his face. You try to move from his grasp, but it's useless; you are nowhere near as strong as him, you would have to take whatever he would have the mercy to give you. He bites down deeper into your other thigh, savouring the richness of your blood, and you gasp. You didn't expect it, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure and you were delighted by the sensation. He pulls away soon after and you whine, pleading for more.

“Yes, my treasure?” The words roll deliciously on his tongue, only teasing you further and you groan, frustrated.

“Please.”

“If you want something, you’ll have to use your words,” he purrs seductively. “Please what?”

“Please…” you take a few breaths, trying to compose yourself. You can hide your desperation for his attention anymore, not after all those days you’ve been craving him. That time in the hallway when you wanted nothing more than to kiss him, when you danced together and the proximity was stifling you, how his words disarmed you, made you want him in the most depraved ways, how you made him yours last night… You want him. “Please, I need you, Astarion.”

He grins with your blood tainting his lips, “Anything for my precious pet.”

He dives into your cunt, devouring you as if you were his first meal in days and you can’t control the loud moan that escapes you. He laps at your entrance, drinking your juices as he did your blood, without wasting a single drop of your precious nectar. When he judges that your pussy had enough, he moves to your clit, giving it the attention it so badly craved. His lips cover it, allowing him to suck gently over your sweet spot, and that’s when you start to feel it, the build up within you nearing its peak. You chant his name like a prayer, each time speaking it louder, until you feel yourself reaching your edge. You try your best to muffle the sounds coming out of you, but Astarion would not allow it. He stops, for just a moment, just long enough for you to look back at him and wonder why he would torture you so and stop when you were so close.

“Don’t be shy, my sweet. I love the way you scream my name.”

As his nails dig painfully into your thighs, and his tongue dives back to abuse your sensitive bud, you feel the waves of your climax hit you all at once. The scream that leaves your lips is otherworldly, and you get lost in the feeling as your back arches into the mattress. The world around you vanishes and you see stars as your body still rides the aftershake of your orgasm, your breathing barely able to keep up. As you’re coming down from your high, Astarion kisses his way back up, making sure to leave additional bites on his way; noticeably one nicely placed over the curve of your breast. You finally look down to find him looking back at you, with his mouth covered in a mix of your come and blood.

He speaks with a husky voice, his half-lidded eyes lost in yours. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

You manage to mumble a few words through your exhaustion, “Then show me.”

Without breaking eye contact, he moves down just enough to slide his hard length down your navel and between your folds, moving to get himself wet from you. At this angle, his shaft created a delicious friction against your clit that made you cry out louder from the overstimulation. He doesn’t torture you for much longer, as he whispers in your ear, before giving you exactly what you need.

“Sing for me, my treasure.”

He slides inside you with one powerful thrust, making you scream again and your hands fly to his back, searching to ground yourself. When he picks up a languid rhythm, your nails dig into his skin, scratching near his scars and he lets out a feral growl before grabbing your wrist and pinning you roughly against the bed.

“All these months, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you; your voice, your skin, your delicious cunt. I'll never make the mistake of letting you leave. Ever. Again.” He pounds into you harder, pausing as he speaks these last words, and something clicks inside of you as you hear the possessiveness in his hoarse voice. If it had been anyone else you would’ve wanted to speak up, but when said by him, right now, you wanted nothing but to comply.

“Do you have any idea of the things I’ve been wanting to do to you these last few days? Fuck, the thoughts that crossed my mind… How I’ve wanted to bend you over that dining table and overfill you with my come, having you dripping from me for days to remind you who you belong to, my dearest consort, mmh–” He picks up the pace, ramming into your cunt deeper, hitting that spot that made you see stars, “If it was only up to me, I would keep you chained to this bed and breed you, over and over again.” He laps at the spot he used to feed on you, the warmth it left on your skin, along with his depraved speech, only pushed you closer and closer to your second collapse. “How beautiful you would look, marked as mine with my bites and my come, mine to please, mine to own. Isn't this what you want?” His lips graze the shell of your ear and he whispers, “To be mine?”

Your mind is clouded by lust and all you can think about is how good he makes you feel, how great he’s been taking care of you, and hells, you really do, you want nothing more than to be his, and his only. Let him own you, use you. As much as you loathed him previously, you can’t help but admit to yourself that you’ve longed for him and his attention, his touch, his kiss, everything he had to offer and everything he’s been wanting to share with you. You always loved him, the only thing those several months spent apart did for you was affirming this truth, and now that you were finally back together, you couldn’t deny it any longer. Yes, I’ll stay with you, I’ll be yours, I’ll be everything you want me to be, I’ll love you until the world ends, you want to say, but only three words leave your lips in a whisper:

“Make me yours.”

A smile creeps up on his lips at your words, and he bites down on your exposed neck through the markings he had previously left, drinking you in like a starved man as he resumes his thrusts into you. Gods, you missed this, missed him, missed how he made you feel, missed how good you two were together. His drinking on you always acted like an aphrodisiac; it made you see the brightest of stars, made you feel like your entire body was frozen only to be burning with desire moments after, as pure fire was coursing through your veins. You knew that following his bite, you were only moments away to feel the waves of pleasure over you. The vibration from Astarion’s growls against your neck as he drank only contributed more to your end. All it took was another sip from him and you were hit with the strongest of thunders, screaming once again as your body trembled with the aftershock, almost completely taking you out. The waves of your release rippled through your body, your heart pounding in your chest as if it was gonna burst out. If it wasn’t for Astarion savagely fucking you, you think you would have passed out by the strength of your orgasm.

You were feeling more drained than usual, dizzy, even. That’s when you notice your lover still latching onto you. Instinctively, you try to stop him but his grip on your wrist pins you down with no way to move out, and that’s when it all comes back to you. He was going to kill you, turn you into a vampire, make you his dark consort.

You feel yourself getting colder and colder, his grip on your wrists tightening, leaving you with your last bruises. Your world grows dark and a tear streams from your eye as they get shut tightly. Nothing hurts anymore: not the fangs in your neck, not his hands holding your wrists down, not his weight upon you.

This was for the greater good, to make you better, make you stronger, keep you safe. You trusted him, and you would welcome this new life he offers you. You wouldn’t be afraid of anyone ever again. In your last seconds of consciousness, you use what you have left of your remaining lifeforce to try and whisper his name, as a thank you for caring, thank you for everything, please help me through this, please never leave my side, A–…

“Star…”

I love you.

And you did, until your very last breath.

He says, "Ooh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges

I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon

There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs

And if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @nyx-knox @anacdoce @jwera @annnagennnie @angeldarkness95 @marlowethebard

107 notes · View notes

jamiesfootball · 2 years ago

Text

Season two of the Ted Lasso rewatch and I am having some string feelings. Some strong feelers. Some shrimp about Ted and Jamie and how Ted really, really struggles between being Coach Shaped and being Dad Shaped when it comes to Jamie, and how Jamie is horrible at discerning either.

(Buckle up this is gonna be a long one)

Because what we start off with in season one is very much a man who is used to being Coach Shaped. He wants the boys to be inspired and to learn about life and to become the best versions of themselves that they can be. All of which could be very Dad Shaped, but in execution they’re not.

He steps back to let people grow, and sometimes that involves letting bullies be bullies so that the true leaders of the group can step up. Sometimes it’s letting Nate roast the other players- quite cuttingly at that - to get the team motivated. He’s directing the orchestra sure, but he’s not in the pit telling people how better to get along. He’s warm and welcoming, and he tries to foster good rapport and encourage people to talk to him and open up. He, dare I say it, actually has boundaries with people. He asked Rebecca in the first episode how she was holding up with the divorce, and when she seemed upset he noted it, offered a little commiseration, and moved right along without making a fuss.

And then he calls Jamie Tartt into his office to give him a compliment sandwich (“you’re a great athlete now pass the fucking ball and then you’ll be a super great athlete okay thanks”) and I think that’s where Ted’s boundary with Jamie first starts to erode. Because Jamie unintentionally ruins his whole fucking script. Jamie’s disaffected act crumbles at the first compliment. He’s sincerely taken aback by Ted’s praise, a little nervous and a little pleading. He breaks the rules of compliment sandwiching by demurring “well I work really hard”, which forces Ted to agree which is in a way TWO compliments, and when Ted tries to push through with his critique, Jamie ends up critiquing himself first about something completely different (“my left cross”), and then Ted has to wrestle them back to the actual critique, and the whole thing is just. Definitely not the ordeal Ted thought it would be.

So from early on we have these two working at cross purposes - because Ted thinks he’s being Coach Shaped, but the Shape he is doesn’t fit any Coach Jamie has ever had.

“what’s he like?”

“Great”

“…….”

“Well great at football”

“Yeah, I’ve know guys like that.”

And in return, Ted has known ‘guys like that’, competent athletes who are a necessary part of the game, but have such egos (“I’m not sure you realize how mentally healthy that is”) that Ted thinks he has to go to his players girlfriend for insight on how to motivate Jamie in the way that Ted needs for team cohesion.

So this is Ted trying to be Coach Shaped and give this kid a wake up call and this kid is so receptive that Ted barely had to lift a finger. But it doesn’t stick.

Ok. So next he attempts to give Jamie a book that he thinks will wake him up to the reality he’s living. He gave them to everyone. He’s still being Coach Shaped. He makes Roy and Jamie sit at the same table and tries to orchestrate a truce. He kinda gets there, but the next episode they’re still at each other’s throats. Jamie listened to Ted about the one in a million / one in eleven thing, but then Jamie ignored it. So he benched him. He’s Coach Shaped; it wasn’t personal.

Except Ted is not has not been anything Coach Shaped that Jamie could recognize, and football really is his life too. So it was very fucking personal. And here’s the first wrinkle in the narrative both of them have been telling themselves, because what does Jamie do? He fakes an injury and benches himself.

If Ted doesn’t think he should play, or doesn’t think that the way he’s playing is correct, then fine- he’ll make them both miserable. He just won’t fucking play. It’s kid logic at its finest. It’s cutting your nose to spite your face. ‘Well you said I wasn’t doing it right, so I won’t do it at all.’

It’s the same shit Jamie pulls on his dad when he leaves Man City to go be a reality tv star.

And it’s the first crack in the veneer between them, because the way Ted loses his shit at Jamie for it is not very Coach Shaped, but it is very very Dad Shaped. And unfortunately it was the sort of Dad Shaped that Jamie did recognize.

It’s the first loss of control Ted has in general, and it’s circling this player that Ted can’t seem to get a grip on.

And then there’s Jamie going to Keeley, and he’s got Manchester on his mind. It’s the first time we’ve heard him talk about the council estate he grew up in, and Keeley is telling him to stop battling people who want to help him. So he goes to the bonfire. And he talks about the fucking footprint his dad left in his wake. And he talks wistfully about his mom being proud. And this isn’t just about opening up to the team, it’s also about Jamie Tartt not battling Ted. Taking a risk that even if Ted isn’t very Coach Shaped, even if he appears closer to Dad Shaped than Jamie would like, whatever Ted is - Jamie is probably safe to be a little honest.

It’s not very Star Athlete With An Ego of him; but it’s very very Son Shaped.

“I was just starting to get through to him.”

Ted’s anger with Rebecca could be Coach Shaped. It could be. But it sure hurt him enough that it’s the first time he’s actually angry with Rebecca. Meanwhile Jamie was so hurt he had to tell everyone who would listen about it. Had to iterate that it was good riddance on being rid of Ted Lasso, because at least Pep was a proper Coach Shaped Coach. Someone who’d drill Jamie on the technicals. Someone who probably never once cared enough to pull him aside and tell him if he did a good job. Someone who probably assumed that’s what Jamie’s dad was for, showing up after matches.

“Good luck out there, Jamie!”

“Fucking mind games.”

Whatever Jamie already thought of Ted as a coach must’ve been rolling in the pit Jamie tried to bury it in, because Coach Shaped men don’t cheer you on when you’re playing for the other team. Pep wouldn’t do it if he still played for Richmond.

And maybe Coach Lasso does it for everyone he coaches. Probably. But it’s a very Dad Shaped thing. And fuck, Jamie’s actual fucking dad doesn’t cheer for him at all when Jamie isn’t playing for Manchester, so how’s Jamie supposed to know what it means?

Then there’s Ted, who just can’t help himself. Who can’t help but see potential in Jamie. And when he sees Jamie after the match, it’s a quick war on whether he should speak to him because in that instance Coach mode and Dad mode are in alignment.

Except reality hits as hard as a boot against the wall, because Jamie has a dad. And it’s not Ted. It’s not someone who’s come to tell him well done, or that he’s proud of the baby steps Jamie has taken, even though he’s been left to walk them alone. It is the opposite of what a father should be, but it’s taken up the mantle. Father Shaped. A thing of fury. A role fulfilled, not looking for new applicants.

Coach wins in that moment. Ted turns and walks away, and Jamie can finally see now in Ted Lasso the Coach Shape he’s familiar with.

Except even that can’t stick around and be familiar can it? Because while no one was looking, the Dad Shape in Ted scribbled him a little message. Left a note in his absence to let him know he was proud. Sent Beard with an army man, someone to lookout for Jamie and keep him safe. I’d say at this point a Ted Lasso couldn’t’ve drawn a line between Coach Shaped and Dad Shaped - this was a matter of pure human empathy, and decency, and an apology in its own way. I’m sorry for the roles we’ve been given. I’m sorry, but please know I care.

He walked away from Jamie and his dad. He didn’t have any obligation to Jamie. There was no more match to be won. Any involvement of Jamie Tartt in Ted’s life coulda woulda should’ve ended there.

“There’s something out there worse than being sad, and that’s being sad and alone. And ain’t nobody in this room alone.”

The look on Jamie’s face in that scene says it all. Because he is alone, but Ted clearly (desperately) doesn’t want him to be.

But being alone is better than being stuck in a room with James Tartt Sr.

Jamie doesn’t go to Ted first after Lust Conquers All. Why would he (think he had the right to)?

The first thing Jamie does do (after Keeley tells him it’s ok to go to Ted) when he meets Ted again is show him the Ted (Danson) Soldier. Ted may have made the gesture, and Jamie may have understood the meaning of it, but he does Not understand Ted. Not this Coach-but-Not-a-Coach. Still Jamie thinks he has the distinction down - what soft underbelly he thinks he needs to bare for this type of Coach to believe him when asks for a chance to come home.

“You were getting good minutes up at City.”

Ted redirects Jamie here in a very Coach Shaped way. He guides Jamie into admitting the real reason why he quit. He hears Jamie out, makes observations about how Jamie coming back would work from a team perspective, and makes only occasional eye contact. This is Ted clinging to a role that he’s used to, the one that comforts him in its ability to help other people.

(If there is something Dad Shaped in that scene, it’s an awful, haunting one. Not the one that Jamie grew up with, but the one that Ted grew up with. The one who took his son to play darts every Sunday for six years, who probably sat next to him and drank beer the way Ted does)

But Ted never set out to be anyone’s dad. He’s their Coach, and he has a responsibility to everyone on his team. It’s nothing personal; he’s just being a Coach.

They clink glasses. Cheers, and best of luck to your future endeavors.

There is something very tired about the way Jamie puts down his beer without taking a sip. He looks lost. He does not look surprised. (How could you have expectations for something you’ve never known? And how come that doesn’t make him feel any better about it?)

We don’t see Jamie after that.

We see Ted at training, worrying about Dr Sharon watching the team he’s made. He worries that she’s getting closer (metaphor). When Sam storms off the field, Ted is startled but relieved to follow. He doesn’t want self examination. He wants to be Coach. He wants to embrace the parts of coaching he’s always loved- helping other people improve and be better.

Sam tells him that he doesn’t want Jamie back on the team, and there’s a split second of relief from Ted because he made the right call.

Then Sam talks about his father, and how his father is grateful for Ted because with Ted around, he knows his son is safe. Because this has nothing to do with being Coach Shaped. Coach Shaped he may be in Sam’s life, but here’s Sam, who is very Son Shaped himself, and his father agreeing that Coach Lasso serves a greater purpose in Sam’s life than just being a supportive motivator. In their mind, in the absence of a father, Ted Lasso will do just fine. He will keep Sam safer than any little green army man.

That’s the final inexorable blurring of the lines for Ted, where the coach finally drops the ball to pay attention to the scraped knees that have been left behind.

Ted calls the Diamond Dogs meeting. Coach Beard and Coach Nate are very Coach Shaped indeed. What about the teamwork, Ted? “He’s the poop in the punch bowl.” Leslie is for bringing him back, but it’s for football reasons. It makes managerial sense.

But none of it means anything to Ted because at that moment he can not find it in himself to be Coach Shaped.

“I thought it was settled, but Sam went and unsettled it.”

“He reminded me that not everyone is lucky enough to have a good dad.”

“In sports aren’t we always on about second chances? Shouldn’t that apply to people too?”

This is not Coach Shaped. In some ways it’s not even Dad Shaped. But it is caring, and empathy, and wanting an excuse, any excuse, to try again. It is Love Shaped.

Ted Lasso is a coach to his team and a dad to a great little boy down in Kansas, and for Jamie Tartt he can try to fit on a third extra thing. Whatever that thing is called. Neither of them know what that thing is called. They’re too familiar with Coaches and too unfamiliar with Dads to know the difference.

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #good grief this is long #ted lasso rewatch

552 notes · View notes