#i struggled to come up with what ted could say

[caffeinatedopossum]

I wrote a poem

"This won't make you happy"

That's what people say when I confess

Well I know they think they're helping

But it doesn't ease my distress

This won't make me happy,

Don't you think I knew that at the start?

The goal was never to be happy,

Just to not fall apart

A gravely injured animal

Does not have happiness on its mind

And in its desperation

Will take any escape it finds

"Things will get better"

That's something I hear all the time

But it's biased information

Even if its not quite a lie

Things will always change-

That's the version I believe

But knowing things change for the worse

It's not much of a reprieve

Hope is a fickle thing

Like a shape shifting beast

It's both beautiful and ugly

Depending on which side you see

Hope is everything you have

When you've got nothing left

But with just one thing worth fighting for

Can be a flame burning in your chest

I was born with this restless pain

But introduced to something new

There are few pains greater

Than finally having something to lose

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?

Some background about my cat first.

I (25F) have a pet cat named Max (not real name. It would be too identifiable if I used his real name). Max is a rescue. He had been abandoned by his previous owner because he would meow too loudly. This had happened several times, so he has been in and out of the shelter a lot. None of the previous owners had tried to figure out why he always meows so loudly, so I took him to a vet. It turns out that Max is deaf, so I don't blame him for meowing so loudly. He can't hear himself! He is scared of strangers and tends to hide, so I don't try to force him to come out if he doesn't want to. I also don't usually take pictures of him because the cameras and phones scare him. I just do what I can to respect his boundaries. Max isn't just a cat to me. He is my treasured family who brings a smile to my face everyday. I can't imagine life without him.

My friend, Amelia (22F) is trans. Her folks are transphobic and were not accepting of her when they found out. However, they had not kicked her out of her home right away. They had given her a week to pack her things and find a place to stay. I'm not sure what they were trying to do with that but another friend, Nina (24F) thinks that they did that as a manipulation tactic to get Amelia to retransition and Amelia thinks so too.

But the week had passed and Amelia couldn't find a place to stay. Nina had said she would have offered, but she lives in a small apartment that hardly had enough room for two people. So Amelia had asked out friend Ted (26M) who had also said he couldn't because he was housing his younger siblings since their parents had passed and he was struggling financially.

So that left me. But Amelia said she wouldn't be able to stay unless I got rid of Max. Why? Amelia is highly allergic to cats. Whenever she had come over to my place in the past, she had to take allergy medicine to keep from having severe allergies around Max. The allergies are bad enough that they could trigger an asthmatic attack. I told her that I refuse to get rid of Max because of his past with being abandoned. I do not want to become one of the people he distrusts, not after it took so long to get him to feel comfortable around me.

Amelia is upset with me for this and says that she doesn't want to have to always take allergy medicine. She said that I should get rid of Max because he is just a cat and his needs are not as important as hers when she could become homeless soon. I argued that he wasn't just a cat and was part of my family. Max would be staying no matter what. Amelia ended up renting a motel room, but she couldn't afford to stay for more than 4 nights. Nina ended up taking her in, but that has made her own living situation harder.

Amelia and Nina are calling me an asshole for choosing Max over giving Amelia shelter. They are saying that I am being a horrible ally and friend by valuing an animal over a human life. I don't think I made the wrong choice by choosing Max, but it doesn't feel great that they are starting to tell some other friends that I am being transphobic for not choosing Amelia. A part of me is saying that I should have chosen Amelia, but that same part is also saying I would fee guilty for being one of the people to also abandon Max if I chose to do that. Amelia and Nina barely talk to me aside from saying that I am being a transphobic asshole for "choosing an animal over a trans person's livelihood." I am thinking about just cutting them off now, but I'm afraid that would just lead to more backlash.

AITA for choosing my cat over my trans friend?

What are these acronyms?

[ohbabydollie]

omg heyy 🤭 ive only just found your blog but i absolutely adore your writing!! could i please request some housewife headcanons? ty <3

my ideal career is housewife but i js need to marry schlatt so i don’t have to worry abt money first 😔

taking care of him during streams!

bringing in water, food, anything he needs

he takes that chance to show you off to his stream, shower you in compliments before you head out of his office

he will literally take any chance he can to rub it into anyone’s face

“what am i eatin right now? it’s just some soup my WIFE made me, it’s whatever, she does it all the time” he says with a cocky grin

he loves home cooked meals and will asks for seconds constantly

he gets a taste for your cooking (and baking) to the point he doesn’t enjoy eating out as much

he loves that you basically can be around him 24/7 since he works from home and you don’t have a job

if he ever tries cooking for a stream, he’s struggling so hard

he gains so much respect for you if you make almost everything by scratch

if you take up a little hobby like baking or pottery or gardening

he.fucking.loves.it.

he shows off anything and everything you make

drinks from mugs you make, eats whatever you baked or grew and makes a point to tell everyone

“well ted, while you’re eatin’ your nasty ass rap snacks, i’ll be eating this” he says smiling and holding up a bowl of strawberries, “delicious, home grown, organic, non-micro plastic, strawberries, that my wife grew” he says with a satisfied smile “not to mention she also made the bowl, it’s bpa free”

hes literally such a dick to everyone about how he’s married to you

“i’m havin’ chicken n dumplins for dinner, they’re HOMEMADE by the way, not the nasty trader joe’s shit you gotta eat” schlatt says to ted with a grin “m’ wife is makin it all from scratch”

he says you “balance him out” with how sweet and soft you are

makes tradwife jokes all the time

he also likes making jokes about other people wanting you and actively brags about it

“we were a beach the other day and i saw men eyein her up, didn’t even care ‘cause i was the guy rubbin tannin oil on her back”

he loves buying you pretty new clothes, jewelry, makeup, etc.

he pays for you to get your hair, nails, etc. done

loves doing little things with you from grocery shopping to wasting time at a retail store

he says the cats got into something on stream and always comes back with light lipstick marks on his lips and face

looks for any excuse to kiss and touch you on camera

flirts with you even when you’ve been married for years

he only has eyes for you as you do him and every one knows

everyone can tell that even with the jokes he makes he loves you so much

[vor-leser]

Benny now an animal, I knew AM would let him play.

(Stuff about my own version of pre-monkeyification Benny below the cut because i have too many thoughts on this)

It's kind of hard to make heads or tails of any of the ihnmaims characters since the cannons of the different adaptations contradict each other so much, so I reconciled my own version of events in my head as to what I think Benny was like pre monkeyfication. I tried to fit everything from the comic, game and book in though.

Benny was a very masculine guy, excelling in every sport, and despising everyone who did not live up to his standard of what it meant to be a strong man. All his life, he tried to embody this ideal, not only marrying and having two kids, but going on to join the military. When he became general, he was known amongst the soldiers as an authoritarian punitive leader, often abusing those below him to whip the weak ones into shape. His ideals were solidified under the pressure of the continuing third world war, instilling a kill or be killed mentality into him. Eventually, he came to the realization that he was gay. However, because this reality threatened to break apart the way he viewed the world and his masculinity. With the mounting pressures from a chain of losses and his own internal struggles, he reacted by overcompensating and becoming more brutal than ever, leading him to kill multiple of his own men. Returning from the Chinese American War, he developed a severe case of PTSD. Constantly making him feel as if his life was at stake, he found himself unable to show any weakness. He hid his own war crimes thoroughly, all the while continuing to receive accolades from his superiors for his tenure. He constantly felt the need to not only hide his crimes, but also his sexuality, making him paranoid that people would realize he was a fraud. This did not only put a strain on him, but also on his family.

AM specifically chose Benny, because he embodied the many ways in which humanity tore itself apart through war, constantly finding new methods to make their own existence miserable for an imagined ideal.

At first, Bennys presence among the survivors proved very useful. Out of all of them, he had the most experience in dangerous situations and a lot of physical strength. His wisdom and leadership helped them a great deal, eventually though, they would inevitably disappoint him. Falling into his old patterns of behavior, he would berate Nimdok the most for his obvious weakness, saying he was holding them back. With time, he did the same with Ellen, Ted and even Gorrister, which formed a rift between himself and all of them. He felt as if he could rely on no one but himself.

Still, his usefulness irked AM. He had gotten one over on him too many times, but this would make his coming defeat even more crushing. It started with his mental state. Paranoia had already slowly crept up on Benny, but when he was forced to relive his trauma, it spiraled out of control. Being starved, beaten and defeated, he started to lose his humanity. His egoism, distrust and brutality, all born out a desire for survival made him a nightmare for the others. AM found it amusing, how he had turned Benny into a parody of humanity and its worst aspects, seeing it fit to strip him of his last remaining bits of humaneness, breaking his body into the shape of an ape-thing.

His spirits were now completely broken, being reduced to a bumbling fool. Even though his shame mellowed him out, there were still occasional outbursts. Now ironically enough, he had become the survivors greatest liability. Luckily for him, the others pity him and keep him around, a kindness he likely wouldn't have awarded them.

(Also drawing a guy thats canonically supposed to look handsome while making him resemble a monkey is hard :,) )

[r4d0m-13]

Ranting about God Games (Specifically Apollo)

I’m so normal about this.

So the live stream just came out and AAAAAAAHDA TO ESTHFRR DE H

ok.

So a lot of people are talking about how Apollo really didn’t even have much of an argument and really didn’t want to be involved much. I raise you, he wanted to make it easier for Athena. Apollo and Athena are Knowledge and Wisdom, they get along well. They probably have tea and talk about what budding civilizations will grow into mighty empires. And they have probably broached the topic of Odysseus multiple times, once Apollo had gotten over the sacking of Troy. (enough for Apollo to be familiar enough with him to USE HIS NICKNAME)

So when Zeus chooses Apollo to be one of the Gods who needs to be convinced, he has no idea what to say AND wants to make it easy.

Another thing is the visuals, (THE ANIMATOR FOR HIM DID SUCH A GOOD JOB AAAAA) every other Deity shows Athena have to visually struggle even just a bit to convince the others.

Hephaestus was not that big of a struggle, Athena has to maneuver her way through his forge to get through to Hephaestus. He and Athena have a more passive relationship so she has to navigate more carefully than she would for someone like Artemis.

Athena and Aphrodite have a much more antagonistic relationship. Athena has no interest in love as an Eternal Maiden. Aphrodite has always had problems with that in myths. So they don’t like each other. Because of that, Athena has to stop her from dismissing the conversation and get her stop and think about it. Ares interrupts and he and Athena have that sibling rivalry as they are both war gods and Athena is more favored. They physically fight and argue and Athena has to win to convince Ares and Aphrodite in extension.

Hera and Athena could have varied relationships, but they seem somewhat cool with each other so it’s just a dance battle. All Athena needed was one good move but she didn’t know what was good enough for Hera, so she went for the “He respects the sanctity of his marriage” card.

However for Apollo, they were just in a pleasant spot with him playing his Lyre while they talked. He put up a small qualm he could reasonably have with Ody, and Athena responded in kind. It was a short exchange as they both agreed that he needed to be let go but they needed to put on a show of disagreement first. He didn’t want to waste time while Ody was wasting away on the island and sent Athena off fast as he could.

YOU SEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[kitkatpancakestack]

Just re-watched some eps in s4 and I know it's all been said before but I'll say it again. My favorite thing about one Evan Buckley? His anger. He has so much pure, burning anger in him. This man is not just a "hothead," he has some mfing demons. The scene when he blows up at his parents? All of his flashbacks in Buck Begins, especially when he crashes his motorcycle? Up until season 4 we just see Buck as this idealistic, kind of ignorant and gullible, boneheaded frat bro with somewhat good intentions. But Buck has been egregiously hurt throughout his life. Also he's enormous. He could be a really mean dude. He could be rough and aggressive and violent and spiteful.

But he isn't.

We are all paradoxical but damn do I love the flavor of paradox that is Buck.

And I know we all like to bemoan Buck's screen time and his storylines but tbh he did start the show in such a place (age, demeanor, kind of an impressionable blank slate) that afforded him an advantageous position. And nothing is perfect but like, his story kind of slaps though. And season 4 cracks him open in such a fantastic way and I honestly wish they would explore the internal struggle of that more. I mean, what would it take for him to snap? How much does he have to battle those demons? Was he always like this or how did he learn to quiet his anger? Show me THIS. The entire lightning strike arc was a big ass flop to me sorry.

Anyway, long story short, the best part about Buck is that he isn't this pure uwu baby that needs to be taken care of and coddled, and I won't let the growing faction of Buck stans who just get hard-ons for pouty white boys, and who have clearly never watched the source material, permanently defile his character. He has some serious darkness in him, and he could have so easily turned out different. Buck is the master of facades no matter how mature he becomes. Choosing kindness and goodness is always more work than the other way around. And that's why Evan Buckley will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[scarletttries]

Write A Kiss Request: Roy Kent (Ted Lasso) x Reader ...a kiss in public

(prompt list here) & 2025 Request List - requests open

...a kiss for Roy Kent in public

It had been a little disarming getting asked out for lunch by Roy Kent. Maybe it was the way he stared at you without blinking and grunted out the wordy request all in breath. Or the way that he had felt the need to formally ask you, despite the two of you often sharing a meal or a drink without ever arranging a thing. It could just be that his jaw had been tightly clenched the whole time he had been marching you both along the Thames, struggling to make conversation where it usually flowed so naturally between you. Whatever tension was stirring between you, you wondered if it had to do with the fact his hand seemed to be flexing and straining where it hung beside yours.

"Where do you want to go for lunch Roy?" You quizzed after a particularly lingering pause in the conversation, watching his shoulders rise slightly at the question.

"We're going somewhere special." He grunted firmly, nodding resolutely to himself as he finally took your hand in his for the first time. You started to realise quite why Roy had gone out of his way to ask you to lunch today, recognising his silence as a sign he had some more meaningful words he intended to share today. You couldn't help but smile and squeeze his hand in reassurance at the thought Roy Kent was building himself up to do his least favourite thing; talk about his feelings.

"Roy Kent, over here!!" You saw a flash of light as the words rang out, demanding tone immediately threatening to make the footballer on your arm see red.

"Not today mate." Roy bit back what he really wanted to say, worried any outburst would give the rest of the afternoon an uneasy feeling he couldn't risk with something so important on the line.

"Oh come on Kent, just pose for a few pics and tell me about your date!!" Roy could feel the venom rising inside him, threatening to spill out and indiscriminately wound everyone in the area.

"He said not today, so just fuck off you creep!" You stepped forward, throwing out expletives before Roy had to, the dark edge in your glare enough to send the paparazzi scarpering off in a cloud of mumbled apologies. You turned to an awestruck Roy, ready to apologise for losing your patience before seeing an unusually sincere smile spread across his face.

"That was fucking incredible!" He laughed out, beaming with pride at you as you replied bashfully,

"Well I learnt from the best." You gave his hand a small squeeze as smiled back at him warmly, the two of you now stood motionless drinking the other in. Roy couldn't hold it in anymore. His affections had been building up for weeks, and while he had hoped to name the feelings in a high end restaurant, he didn't think he could take another step without letting you know how he felt. Words still caught in his throat, he dropped your hand in favour of wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his body with effortless strength. You let out a small gasp as finally his lips closed in, more gentle than you expected from such a forceful man, hovering just over yours as if to give you the choice of where the contact could lead. Eagerly you leant forward, relishing in the soft brush of his lips against the slight scratch of his stubble. It was sweet and firm and simple, a perfect introduction to the man who had spent what felt like his whole life waiting for this moment.

"Ahah!" You heard a man's voice ring out from down the street along with an intrusive flash of light that burned your eyes even as they had fluttered shut.

"Excuse me, I need to go kill a man for interrupting our first kiss." Roy growled out, chest heaving in a mix of rage and euphoria that he finally knew what it felt like you have you held so close. You clutched his side as he went to move away, leaning your face barely a breath away from his.

"Or you ignore him, and we have our second kiss?" Roy's brow furrowed as he considered the offer,

"Fine, but if he takes a picture of that too I'm going to murder him. Slowly." You knew better than to argue, placing a hand gently on his cheek to pull him in for a kiss again.

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me (part 3)- matt sturniolo

part 1, part 2, part 3

summary: matt hates your guts but all of that changes when he finds out your his mate.

contains: vampire!matt x reader, highschool au! (18 years old), smut (not in this part)

a/n: a short chapter but the next ones a biggie. love yall and thank you so much for the support

——————————————————————————

when i wake up, i’m strapped to a bed frame. i struggle against the restraints but all that comes out of it is another dizzy spell.

“hey, your awake” i whip my head around to see two blue eyes staring back at me. fear shoots into my chest again, as i stare at matt’s brother, chris, in front of me. if matts not human, then i bet he’s not either.

“get away from me” my voice shakes and i gear my legs up to be ready to kick if necessary. “i know matt scared you pretty bad yesterday, but i promise, no ones going to hurt you here.” he comes and sits on the side of the bed, placing his hand on my knee gently

chris and i have only ever had one class together and it was in our sophomore year, but i always thought highly of him. he was nice and funny, unlike his brother. i may have even had a crush on him, if i had allowed myself to. the version of him i knew before, overides my fear of what he is and as he strokes my knee some of my fear goes away. but then all of a sudden, anger spikes within me that somehow doesn’t feel like my own. chris’ hand that was once comforting felt like a hot clothing iron on my skin. i wince and chris takes his hand off me immediately. instead, he looks towards the doorway apprehensively.

in the doorway, is none other than the matt sturniolo, and he looks furious.

fear and another feeling i can’t put my finger on fills me at the sight of him. i take a deep breath to try and calm myself down. at least he looks like he’s back to normal, no more red eyes and black veins.

“hey, she was freaking out, i was only trying to help. it’s not like that, i swear.” chris puts his arms up defending himself and trying to ease matts anger.

“whatever, get out” he snarls and i wince at the sound. chris scrambles out the room and matt marches up to me, sitting in the exact spot chris was moments before. unlike chris’ gentle touch, matt grabs my thigh roughly and possesively. even though the move was aggressive, when i feel his touch my body relaxes and my thighs clench together, hard. why is this turning me on and why did i stop panicking all of a sudden? his presence and touch should do nothing but scare me after everything he’s done. after everything i’ve seen.

“there you go” he coos darkly. “just relax, i have a lot of shit to tell you.” he says staring into my eyes intensely. the stare sends a heat surging through my body and i feel myself starting to get wet. if i could punch myself in the face i would. “get to it, make it quick.” i snip.

“have it your way then, i was gonna take it slow but i guess not.” he shrugs. “i’m a vampire and your my mate. thats why i went ape shit yesterday. thanks for listening to my ted talk.” he deadpans and cocks his head to the side.

even though it sounded like it was a joke, we both knew it wasn’t. my mind didn’t want to believe it, but my body knew it was true. matt is a vampire, and i am his mate.

“how? how am i your mate? whatever the fuck that is!” my voice raises in anger. did he pick me? maybe, to just to fuck around with me and tie me into all his weird vampire shit. did he really hate me that much?

“what, you think i know?!” he matches my angry tone before taking a breath, bringing his other hand up to rub his temple. “trust me, i have no idea sweetheart. if it were my choice, i’d have anyone but you. but for now, your stuck with me” he rolls his eyes. “and vice versa” he mutters.

his hand is still gripping my thigh and not a fiber of my being wants him to move it, even with all the arguing. and judging by the way he’s looking at me now, it looks like he’s stopping himself from doing more. i feel myself getting annoyed with myself for wanting him to do whatever he pleased and more.

“stop getting annoyed” he snaps. “its just the mating bond making us react to each other this way. nothing you can do about it” matt breathes in deeply and a shudder racks through him.

“what was that?” i ask weirded out by the almost animalistic behavior. “you just smell really good to me right now. i couldn’t help myself” he breathes out, eyes darkening slightly.

this man could really eat me alive if he wanted too. i shiver at the thought, but then my mind reels again. how did he know i was annoyed??.

“how did you know? that i was annoyed, i mean” you say bewildered by what being mated might entail. “now that you’re mine, i can feel your emotions almost like their my own. you can do it too, but humans aren’t as good at pin pointing it as we are.” he smirks like being a whole monster is something to be proud of and being human is childs play.

that would explain the random surge of anger earlier with chris. another wave of annoyance courses through me. he’s sooo possessive already. his words from yesterday rings through my head.

“because you’re mine.”

matts voice breaks through my silence. “but don’t worry this is all temporary” he smiles to himself. “i know a girl, and im pretty sure she can get rid of this” he gestures between the both of us. i can’t help the smile that rips through me at the good news.

“then what are we waiting for” i say impatiently.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@katie-tibo

@cindylcuwho

@mattslolita

[diamond-champagne]

Point of View

Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

In which sometimes you need someone else's POV

Part II

It's like you got superpowers

Turn my minutes into hours

Paige is struggling

She’s tired from the lack of sleep, sore from practice, and stressed from school. Paige isn’t necessarily sure when she started to feel like everything was too much but everyday she feels herself giving way to the pressure and expectations that she and others place on her. 

The blonde isn’t sure when it all got to be so hard. It wasn’t always this difficult but somewhere between studying on planes and not getting enough sleep something in her had snapped. 

It was like those huge buckets at the waterpark that slowly filled with water and on a set interval turned to drench all the little ones with water. Except there was nothing playful or even exciting about how Paige was feeling. She was simply just waiting to tilt over; to let it all out. And when everything became too much and she spilled over, Paige would adjust herself and keep it moving because she doesn’t have time to dwell in it; whatever it is. Not when there’s workouts to be had, homework to do, and events to attend. 

So, Paige pushed through despite how much she didn’t want to. She pushed through practice, studying, and she’s pushing through the group outing at Ted’s. The blonde doesn’t want to go but she doesn’t want to miss out on what could possibly be her favorite moments with her favorite people. The basketball player also doesn’t want anyone to think less of her or know she’s anything less than 100 percent. 

It takes damn near all of her energy but she manages. Cue fake laughter here and a small joke there. Insert a smirk there and faux interest here. Every movement planned and placated specifically to not raise any eyebrows. 

But then Azzi arrives and suddenly Paige isn’t acting anymore because her laugh is real and the banter is effortless. Her smirk is natural and she hangs onto every word that Azzi says because she wants to memorize her voice for years to come. Slowly but surely the dark cloud that has been a permanent fixture over Paige has evaporated and the body that used to lag with exhaustion is now buzzing with energy.

The best friends have only been engaging in conversation for a few minutes but Paige swears that Azzi has been fighting off the looming darkness for a lifetime. 

You got more than 20-20, babe

Made of glass the way you see through me

You know me better than I do

Can't seem to keep nothing from you

Maybe Azzi has been fighting off the dark cloud that seems to follow Paige. It seems to be the case when she shows up at the older girl’s apartment one day to demand answers. 

Paige doesn’t immediately give in though, wanting to not bother her best friend with her own battles. Her not being able to swim does not mean Azzi is to drown.

“What are you talking about?” Paige asks. The blonde thinks she might have gotten too good at lying because the way her voice goes up a pitch and her head cocks to the side is so natural to her, she almost believes that she doesn’t know what Azzis is really asking her. Almost.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Bueckers.” Azzi growls. The use of her last name makes Paige flinch and that makes Azzi soften. The curly-haired girl is simply tugging on the tether that keeps them connected and afloat. The last thing she wants to do is push them further away. So despite the frustration that flows through her veins, she takes a deep breath before reaching for her favorite blonde-haired girl. 

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi whispers in Paige's ear as she engulfs her in a hug. Her tone is soft like she’s trying not to scare her blue-eyed girl away. It is accompanied by a soft hand that runs from the base of her neck to the end of her back. 

Paige doesn’t know what exactly causes her to break like a cheap rubber band but suddenly she wipes one tear. And another. And another until there’s too many and her body is shaking. 

She guesses that despite not wanting her team to know, she wishes that someone did; that someone cared enough to see when she wasn’t okay.

Azzi knew. Of course she did.

How you touch my soul from the outside?

Permeate my ego and my pride

“Babe, tell me what’s wrong.” Azzi gently demands of her best friend. The words acted as a key for a lock that Paige didn’t know existed because suddenly she can’t stop talking. 

She’s going on and on about her classes and then work and the team. How everything is too much. How it’s all pulling her in different directions. How she feels the need to be everything to everyone and nothing to herself. Is she allowed to not want everything she’s worked so hard for? Is she allowed to breathe?

When she’s done, the boulder that has situated itself on Paige’s chest is gone but it’s pain is still prevalent. Her vision is blurry and spotty. Her voice feels so far away as if she’s not in her own body. Her ears are hot and her heartbeat is loudly beating through them. 

Paige is spiraling but well maybe not. 

Because soon, Azzi’s voice is in her ear telling her to match her breathing and Paige feels a cold hand over her heart before those same hands are pulling her closer.

“Babe, why didn’t you tell me?” The question rings on the blonde’s ears but she can’t answer because Azzi has tears running down her face and the sight is devastating to Paige. 

“Don’t cry” the blonde whispers as she reaches to wipe the stray tears from her Azzi’s face. The action causes the younger girl to chuckle because how is it that the most caring person she knows is experiencing so much pain.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to be a burden. I also didn’t want the team to think I wasn’t 100 percent. It’s been tough since my injury and the last thing I need is for people to doubt me again because I can’t handle a little pressure.”

“Look at me.” Azzi commands. She waits until her favorite pair of blue eyes meet hers before continuing. “You could never be a burden, P. No one worth listening to would ever doubt you for your internal struggles. It’s shitty, yes but this does not define who you are.”

Paige nods a little before leaning in to hug her best friend once more before settling herself on Azzi’s chest.

“You don’t have to be 100 percent to be loved, Paige. I love you through it all.”

“I love you too”

[princessbiteme0o0]

Jealousy~ (JSchitlin x Reader)

The current request I’m working on is kinda dark and I need a break from it for a moment so enjoy this smut with almost no plot.

Also, a side note- whether or not Schlatt is in a relationship is none of our business. If he is then I’m inexplicably happy for him, if not, then that’s (probably) his choice. As fans, I feel like we should just be happy for him, rather than push him towards something he doesn’t want or try to pressure him for information that doesn’t belong to us. ALSO, this isn’t meant to offend anyone, but Schlatt deserves all the privacy he wants. Don’t forget that creators are people too :)

Love you guys 🩵🩵

WARNINGS: Jealousy (obviously), mostly smut, porn with very little plot, fingering, ownership kink, let me know if I need to add more :)

—🩵—🩵—

She hated parties; hated them.

He knew this and he was well aware of why. With her history, it’s understandable why she hated being surrounded by drunk men. He knew she was beautiful and he knew that she had to deal with men (and women) flirting with her all of the time. He also knows that he has no right to be jealous, but currently that didn’t matter to him. His eyes were locked on Ted, who despite him only being six or seven inches taller than her, seemed to tower over her.

She awkwardly smiled when Ted leaned against the wall in front of her, grinning like a Cheshire Cat as he stared down at her. She was internally questioning why she agreed to come; she should’ve known that if her and Schlatt got separated that she’d have men approaching her. Her mind is drawn from her thoughts and frustrations at her best friend as Ted speaks.

“Hi there, Honey.” He hums, low voice melting the tension between them. It was her turn to speak and she struggled to decide whether to flirt back or not.

“Hi, Ted.” She whispers softly, a warm blush spreading across her cheeks. As Schlatt stood back and watched this interaction, he felt a jealous rage swelling in his chest. Before he knew what he was doing, his feet directed him in their direction.

“You look absolutely adorable in that pretty little skirt.” He drunkenly slurred and she could smell the alcohol rolling off of him. A warm blush warmed her cheeks, making Ted chuckle softly.

“Thanks…” She trailed off, a nervous insecurity swelling her chest. Ted moved just the slightest bit closer and she could feel the warmth rolling off of his body.

“Why so shy, (Y/N)?” His voice is low and gravelly as he speaks and she furrows her brows when she looks up at him.

“You know I’m not a big talker, Ted.” She mumbles softly, bowing her head slightly. His fingers snaked their way under her chin and tilted her head up to make her look at him.

“I bet I could make you one-“ His words are cut off when Schlatt clears his throat beside them and slips an arm around her waist, pulling her away from Ted. Ted opens his mouth to say something, but shuts it as soon as he sees the glint in Schlatt’s eyes. Grumbling under his breath, Ted rolled his eyes and glared at Schlatt.

“Why don’t you go get a drink, Toots? I need to talk to Teddy Boy.” He smiled down at her and as a soft blush spread across her cheeks. Nodding quickly, Schlatt grinned as he watched her scurry off towards the kitchen. Turning back to face Ted, he raises a brow. Ted stares right back at him, glare boring into him. “What in the hell is wrong with you, Ted?”

“What?” Ted snapped in return, shifting on his feet as he moved to rest his back fully against the wall.

“You know how I feel about her.”

“Well you better tell her. If you don’t take her, I will.” Ted grumbled drunkenly, pushing off of the wall. Schlatt had to fight every urge to launch himself at Ted, instead he focused his attention on her. His eyes found her cute little figure, head down and cheeks pink as she grabbed a beer for him through the crowd of people. Before he could even think about it, his feet were guiding him towards her. Snaking his right arm around her, she tensed for a moment.

“Easy there, Pumpkin, it’s just me.” He whispered to her and she audibly breathed out a warm sigh, looking up at him and smiling softly. His eyes ran over her face for a moment before he spoke again. “Can I talk to you upstairs?”

“Sure.” She hums, eyes soft and sweet; that was one of his favorite things about her- if he stared into her eyes, he could see into her soul. Her kindness and subtle purity making a warmth flood his gut every time he looked at her. He gently takes his hand in hers and guides her through the crowd and up the stairs. Once the two of them made it upstairs, he leads her into a room and leans his back against the door after he shuts it.

“Jay…?” She whispered and the way her voice sounded nearly made him snap right then and there, biting back a growl. He slowly took steps towards her, fully expecting her to walk backwards as she does with everyone else, but she just stood there and watched him. He only stopped when he could feel the warmth of her body radiating through the tiny gap between them. Lifting his hand, he slowly and gently ran his fingers over her collarbone.

“So fucking sweet, like candy…” He mumbled as his fingertips still carefully explored her skin, ghosting up the side of her neck. “So pure, like a pretty little angel…”

“Jay, I-“ She whispers out, but the words die on her tongue as his thumb runs across her lower lip.

“Open.” He stated simply, watching her mouth as her lips part and he slips his thumb into her mouth, watching the way her pretty eyes widen in surprise.

“Suck.” And she instantly did as he said, pulling a growl from deep within his chest.

“And oh God, you’re so damn obedient.” She stared up at him, shuffling in place to press her thighs together in hopes of relieving the ache that was spreading through her abdomen and leaking between her legs. Pulling his thumb from her mouth, he’s surprised to hear her whine softly. “Shh, shh.” He gently shushes her while his hand moved to the back of her scalp, tangling his hand in her hair.

“Please, Jay… Please.” She chokes out, their faces a few millimeters apart. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips against hers as he whispers.

“My sweet, little, forbidden apple.” He hummed out, pressing a small kiss to the corner of her lips.

“So tempting in everything you do…” He mumbles, free hand traveling down her side to her hip. “From the way you move, to the way you speak… All the way to when you look at me. Mmm, the way you look up at me so innocently- makes it so hard not to grab your face and kiss you right there.”

He chuckled momentarily when he saw the subbed out expression gracing her face. Her hazy eyes, pupils blown wide, stared up at him with so much softness, swirling with passion and making him take in a sharp breath. Nudging his nose against her cheek, he whispered again, “All mine.”

“Jay…” She whined softly, pulling away to look up at him. Her pretty blue eyes flip between each of his eyes and her lips part to speak, “Why don’t you kiss me then?”

“Because if I kiss you…” He pauses a moment to try and gather his thoughts- the way she’s looking at him makes his brain turn to mush. “If I kiss you, I don’t know if I can stop.”

“Oh yeah?” She hums softly, still staring up at him with wide eyes. When he gives a small nod, she continues, “Who says I would want you to stop?”

Her words made a soft growl leave his lips and the two practically pounced at each other, their lips colliding, much like waves crashing upon shore in the middle of a violent storm. She laced her fingers into his hair and he wrapped his arms around her waist. Before the two even realized they were moving, her back was slammed against the wall, him holding a hand behind her head to carefully press her further against it for support. His tongue clashed with hers, setting a bright, vibrant fire in her chest. While their tongues mingled together, his left hand slid down her side and gripped her thigh, lifting it to rest on his hip.

“Tell me you want it, (Y/N). Tell me who you want.” His voice comes out in a shaky growl against her lips, words barely audible over the heavy thumping of her heart in her chest. Upon a lack of reply, he pulls away just enough to look into her pretty, bright eyes and a soft whine leaves her at the lack of touch. Her lips tried to chase his, but he moved the hand behind her head to carefully wrap around her neck. “Tell me.”

“You, Jay. Please, need you. Please.” Her voice cracks and her chest heaves as she struggles against his hold, desperate for any touch from him. A smirk crosses his lips as he leans down and kisses the side of her head.

“Good job, baby. I’m so proud of you.” His praise pulled the most lewd mewl from her lips and she struggled in his hold once more, hips incidentally grinding against his. “So impatient.” His words are teasing… mocking… But she doesn’t mind- in fact, the way she was nearly dripping down her thighs at his tone made her oh so aware of what he does to her. His lips ghost down the side of her neck and he gives a playful nip to her collarbone, pulling the prettiest little whimper from the back of her throat.

“Please, please, please…” She begs and pulls away just enough to see his eyes- heavy with love and deep with affection.

“Anything for you.” He whispers in return, fingertips sliding carefully up the thigh over his hip. Slipping under her skirt, he slowly worked the pad of his thumb in circles around her clit making her head fall forwards against his chest. “Does that feel good, honey?”

“So- so good.” She whimpered softly, her body quivering with each slow, deliberate stroke of his fingers. Gently he pushed aside her panties and sank just his middle finger into her, making her gasp and grip onto the sleeves of his shirt for dear life. He torturously worked his finger back and forth before adding another. The lewd mewl that left her lips made him grunt out a soft reply as he felt his cock twitch in his pants.

“It’s too much, Jay!” She squeaks out softly as she clenched around his fingers. Her body trembled in his arms as she quickly approached her orgasm.

“Yes you can, Angel. You’re gonna take it and I’m gonna be here to catch you when you fall apart.” He whispered softly in her ear, kissing her temple. Schlatt held her there against the wall, wrapping his free arm around her body and carefully holding her up and against him. His warmth made her feel safe, like a giant blanket protecting her from everything- he helped her just to… Feel.

“I- I’m gonna- I can’t- please don’t st-stop.” She choked out on a sob met somewhere in her voice with a moan.

“That’s it, baby. Let it all out. I know you’ve been neglected, my love. I’m here now. I’ve got you.” He praised her softly as her body twitched and her eyes closed tightly, basking in not just the glow of her orgasm, but the light of his love.

-A/N:- Pt. 2? I know it was a cheesy ending but the romantic in me couldn’t help it 😭

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You (Chapter 6)

summary: the morning after your night with astarion, you discuss a plan to take down the man who attacked you.

rating: E

word count: 5.2k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader, reader is tav)

cw: 18+. bit of fluff, lots of angst, more smut. dom!astarion, oral (f!receiving), very dirty talk, possessive sex, p in v, breeding kink (no pregnancy tho), mating press, blood/vampire bites, overstimulation, creampie. full list on ao3

a/n: so i knoooow that classic vampires dont have telepathic abilities but were talking about a vampire ascendant baby girl which is very homebrew so im giving myself the right to rizzle dazzle his powers for the means of this fic, thank you for coming to my ted talk

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He says, "Ooh, baby girl, you know we're gonna be legends

I'm the king, and you're the queen, and we will stumble through heaven

If there's a light at the end, it's just the sun in your eyes

I know you wanna go to heaven, but you're human tonight"

-

You’re taken out of your deep slumber by the sun’s brightness shining upon your face. You turn away, hiding your eyes from the blinding light to enjoy a few more minutes of rest, when a warm, honeyed voice greets you.

“Good morning, little love. Had a good night of sleep?”

You hum, your voice dozy from sleep, while he strokes your hair, and you find yourself snuggling closer to him as you press your forehead gently against his thigh. His warmth was always surprising, but not unwelcome.

“Would you care for breakfast?” he continues.

You grumble, pulling the bed sheets over your head. “Do I have to? I’d rather stay in bed if I have a say in the matter.”

He smiles, “That can be arranged.”

You raise your head when you realise he hasn't moved, unsure if he's waiting for your response and instead, you find him with his eyes closed and brows furrowed. He opens them again after a moment and meets your gaze once more.

“There. Shouldn’t be long now.”

You sit up, puzzled by what just happened, but he’s quick to reply to your unspoken interrogation. 

“A master holds a telepathic connection with his creations, and this bond can hold between great distances.” You suddenly remember the encounter you had with Astarion’s siblings back then; how the spawn twisted in pain when it received Cazador’s orders and Astarion notices your worry. “It doesn’t hurt them, if that’s your concern.”

“It didn’t look that way the last time I witnessed it,” You bring your knees to your chest as you sit up, before covering yourself with the light silk bed sheet.

“That’s because Cazador enjoyed to torture us, and unlike him, I’m no monster. I would expect you to know me better than that by now.”

It’s true, he never mistreated his spawns, not in your presence anyway, and Amedee even mentioned how well she was treated since she had become his servant. You had no reason to believe otherwise, aside from your own lingering preconceptions.

As you think of her, Amedee enters your room with a prompt salutation, carrying along a golden platter of food that she leaves at the end of your bed. You could tell she was embarrassed despite the lack of pink in her cheeks, as she struggled to look at you and quickly left after Astarion dismissed her. If she had only looked up to you, she would’ve seen the grin that appeared on your face from this brief interaction. Once she leaves, Astarion brings the plate up to you.

“Ask and you shall receive.”

The plate is generously filled with a variety of fruits, cheeses, and meats, along with freshly baked bread slices to pair with them. By the amount displayed, you would assume that the plate is meant to be shared, but Astarion doesn’t indulge. Instead, he waits for you to serve yourself. You’re overwhelmed by the vast selection and hesitate before reaching out to make a pick or your first bite; you settle on a bit of dried meat and cheese, their aromas complementing each other perfectly. You close your eyes as you savour the rich flavours on your tongue; although you still had no intention of getting up anytime soon, you were thankful for the breakfast. Astarion smiles, happy to see you eat to your heart’s desire, and he leans back on the stack of pillows, admiring you.

In truth, you’re extremely grateful for everything he’s done for you, especially with what happened the day prior, and you want to express it, but somehow you struggle to get the words out. You can’t find the right words, and you don’t want to risk breaking the comfort you have just managed to create with him, after so many days of hatred and tension. You open your mouth once, and twice, without a single sound coming out, and you think, maybe I should let it go, maybe if I say nothing it’ll be better than saying anything at all. Maybe if we don’t talk about it, then I can pretend this dreaded ball never happened.

“What troubles you my dear?”

Well, now you can’t.

You sigh heavily, getting ready to finally pour your heart out to him. “I’ve been meaning to thank you. For yesterday, after the ball. After what happened, I was… I’m not even sure. It’s always something you hear happen to others, I never would have imagined it happening… to me.” You feel yourself spacing out again into the events and you snap out of focus to find Astarion staring back at you earnestly. “I’m just glad that you were there to stop him, is what I’m trying to say.”

“Had I known the bastard would’ve followed you out, I would’ve gone with you into the gardens. All I can do now is assure that he will never get close to you again.”

“Wait so– You know him?”

“That was Sir Virric Othros. He’s a merchant noble, he deals directly with the economy in Baldur’s Gate. The two other men from the ball, the ones you confronted?” You nod, awaiting more information. “Those were his business partners. Pretentious little shits if you ask me. I know they don't particularly appreciate me, arseholes will bad mouth me at any chance they get. Usually I would let it slide, I don’t have time to deal with petty comments, but attacking you draws the line,” he says, now frowning.

“That checks out, they were doing exactly that when I spoke up in the ballroom, but then I don’t know how his business relates to yours and why he would want to take you down.”

His gaze snaps back at you, “What?”

“That’s… the reason he attacked me. He meant to use me against you.”

He looks away, his eyes flicking left and right, searching his mind for a solution to a problem he couldn’t solve and when his eyes fall back on you, they are filled with a darkness that sends a shiver down your spine. “You can’t leave this palace, do you hear me?”

“What?! Why?”

“Don’t you realise what this implies?” He gets up and picks up his clothing from the previous night to dress himself back up in a rush. “If these people have it in their mind to take me down, they won’t stop until they get what they want. We don’t know who they hired, if they already have something else planned–” 

“I can defend myself!”

“Like you did so wonderfully at the ball?” He catches your frown as you avert your eyes, resigned from answering back and he sighs remorsefully. He leans closer as he settles back on the bed, drawing your gaze back to him. 

“You might be the strongest woman I know, but they’re vile, they won't fight fair, and they won't hesitate to use underhanded means to get what they want. I cannot risk having you out with a target on your back, the only place I can assure you will be safe is here, in the palace.”

You blink a few times and your eyes light up as a sudden thought crosses your mind, “Then let’s take them down first.”

He scoffs, “Darling, I’m not against the idea, but I can hardly see how. We are talking about nobles amongst the most influential of Baldur’s Gate, their disappearance won’t go unnoticed.”

“We could say that they got abducted? Disappeared without a trace, somehow, I don’t know, but we’ll find something, we need to get rid of them. If they’re that dangerous and influential, prison won’t cut it.” You glare into his eyes trying to convey your devotion. “We need to take them out ourselves. And I will kill this Virric myself.”

Astarion can see the anger burning in your eyes as he stares back at you with the same intensity; for the first time since his ascension, you’re both thinking of the same thing. He gets back up, grabbing the remaining discarded clothes from the previous night before heading for the door. “Get dressed and meet me in my office. I might have an idea.”

—

By the time you get to Astarion’s office, he’s already completely immersed in a world of his own, shifting between multiple pieces of papers that populated his desk. You had never taken the time to visit his personal rooms, you’re surprised to see his office filled with books on various topics, but you notice a recurring theme around necromancy, vampires and their powers, and nobility in Baldur’s Gate. Astarion only notices you minutes after you’ve entered, lifting his head to see you approach him.

“For this to work, we would need to attack them somewhere we have control over – the crimson palace, obviously – so I will be hosting a soiree, this way they are within reach and we can deal with them however we see fit. We can work out the details as we go, but it should cover the essentials: lure them here without suspicion, and allow us to proceed under cover.”

Ever the planner. Some things never change, you think to yourself. “Luring them here won’t be enough, we also need to lure them away from the party, where we can deal with them personally.”

“That should be easy enough; if they notice you before you walk away from the rest of the guests, they should take the bait and follow you. They wouldn’t be smart enough to catch on to the trap we lay out, and I could follow them to you, make sure you’re safe.”

You raise your eyebrow at him, “Having the host disappear into the darkness with a few guests and come back out alone? That’s one way to raise suspicions instantly.”

“Well then little soldier, you were always the most intricate strategist, what would you suggest?”

“We need you to be visible at all times, no one can suspect you to be in on this, otherwise we’ll have much bigger problems to worry about. As for me, no one has seen my face yet, but everyone has seen me dance with you at the last ball. I can’t be seen at all during the soiree. You’ll tell the guests I’m sick and cannot attend, and meanwhile I’ll hide in the shadows until the time is right to lure them away.”

He hums, reflecting upon your idea. “Not bad… But then once alone with them, what will you do?”

“If I hide a weapon beneath my dress, I should be able to take care of two of them easily, but three might be tricky. Plus, they’ll probably be armed, as they were last time.”

“I could send you reinforcements. I would just need your signal to have my children come to help.”

You shake your head; something is missing. “We would need to be able to communicate through the party.” You sigh. “I never thought I’d say this, but the tadpoles would’ve been really useful in this scenario.”

“Well…” He pauses. “There is a way to do this without involving those parasites.”

“Which is?” He tilts his head to show the bite marks on his neck and the realisation dawns on you, “You would need to turn me…”

He moves away from his desk, slowly approaching you, “We would be able to talk to each other no matter the distance and without raising suspicions. You would be stronger, swifter, sharper, and any injury you would receive – should you get hurt – would be healed in a matter of seconds.” He reaches you and tilts your chin up to meet your eyes, almost whispering, “You would become untouchable.”

You gulp, as a knot in your throat builds up. There had to be another way, something else that could provide you a way to communicate somehow. You curse yourself for lacking any magical abilities; maybe then you wouldn’t have to resort to such extremes.

“I want to share this gift with you.” He continues as he grabs a hold of your hand. “I’ve only been wanting the best for you, my love. With this strength, no one will dare to take advantage of you. You’ll never have to fear anyone, ever again. Neither of us will. We will be unstoppable, as we should’ve always been.”

When he offered to make you his consort six months ago, you turned him down immediately, almost disgusted by the offer. How ironic for you to consider it now. You can only imagine what your life would’ve looked like had you accepted back then: if it had been anything like these past weeks, you would've had nothing less of a lavish life. Endless parties, custom clothes, all the perfume and jewels you could imagine, and all the attention from the man you loved. As a vampire, you would’ve had the strength to defeat anyone foolish enough to even try to come close to you. You would be able to assist Astarion in helping to rebuild Baldur’s Gate and take down corrupted nobles, as Gods only know how rotten those roots seem to be. Chances are, with your added influence as the saviour of the city, the rebuilding efforts might’ve been further done by now, maybe more nobles would have joined your side and funded the repairs. You wouldn’t have had to travel from one city to another in search of a bed or even company for the night, living comfortably within the walls of the palace besides Astarion.

Lady Ancunín did have a nice ring to it, too...

“If I’m to do this… what will change? Aside from the red eyes and fangs.” It was your biggest fear, to become something you were not.

“You’ll still be you, only better. You’re already perfect, it’s hard to improve.” He senses your incertitude and brings back your eyes to him. “You don’t need to make a decision tonight, no invitations have been sent out yet. You can take all the time you need to think this through. I’ll be by your side no matter what.” He softly strokes your cheek with the back of his hand. “I only care about what’s best for you”

It’s a truth you’ve been denying yourself for too long now, and the signs have only piled up since you’ve been back in his world, but you kept ignoring them, too proud to accept that you had been wrong to leave him. You sigh heavily, letting go of any lingering anxiety about your decision.

“If we’re doing this, I have demands,” your voice is stern, asserting the gravity of your words.

“Anything you wish,” he smiles playfully.

“I know you can have control over your spawn. I don’t give you the right to force me to do anything, ever. I mean it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

His tone suggests otherwise, but you carry on, “I want to be properly fed. No starving tactics to manipulate me in any way.” He nods and you continue, “And finally,” you take a deep breath, as the angst builds up in your chest, “I don’t want to become a ruthless monster. Please stay by my side, help me, guide me.”

“Of course my love, that goes without asking,” his gaze softens, “I’ll guide you through every step of the way.”

You sigh heavily, relived by his promise, “Then it’s settled. I don’t want to waste more time discussing the matter, my mind is made up.” Your eyes wear a new shade of confidence, “I trust you.”

“Thank you, my love,” he smiles softly. “I want this experience to be most pleasurable for you. It’ll be nothing like what I experienced, I'll make sure of that.”

His words reassure you for the time being, but the uncertainty of what to expect creates a lingering anxiety in your chest. To prevent yourself from spending more time chasing those thoughts away, you make a proposition.

“We should do it tonight.”

“Eager, aren’t we?” He teases you.

“The faster it’s done, the faster we can carry on with our plan.”

“And I won’t be the one opposing you, my dear.” He walks back behind his desk where he gets started on arranging the papers he had previously scattered around. “I’ll call for the servants to prepare dinner. Do you have any requests for your last meal?”

A memory suddenly flashes before your eyes and you know exactly what you want. 

“Yes actually. Balduran Mash.”

—

After experiencing the most bittersweet dinner of your life, you sought solace in the gardens, enjoying the last hours of sunlight, the feeling of the sun's warmth over your skin, before going back to your room to change into your nightgown for the evening, pondering about how tonight was going to go. You never thought this day would come, and yet, here you were, sitting at your vanity, looking back at your reflection for the last time. By the time you wake up tomorrow, you will be a vampire. Undead. 

One of Astarion’s spawns.

The thought still sits uneasy with you, even though you know it’s necessary to see this plan unfold. You will do anything to make it happen; you would rather die than let this Sir Virric get away with what he had done to you. It’ll all be worth it, you think, and Astarion promised it would bring me protection. It truly is for the greater good.

As you think about his words, Astarion knocks at your door before entering your room. For the first time, you see him wear his casual clothes, similar to those he used to wear when you camped together. He approaches you at your vanity, stopping right behind where you sat.

“Having second thoughts, little love?’ He lays his hands upon your shoulders and you look back at his reflection in your mirror.

You sigh heavily. Even if you did have doubts, you couldn’t let fear cloud your judgement. “No. I need to do this.” You look back to your own reflection, your resolve coming back to you. “There’s no other choice.”

“Good.” He lowers his head next to your ear, murmuring. “Are you ready to experience your final night alive?”

A shiver runs down your spine as you feel his hot breath against your skin. “Yes.”

“Then follow me,” you spy the wicked smile appearing on his lips as he whispers, before he straightens up. He extends his hand out to you as an invitation for you to follow him, and you rise from your seat as you take him up on his offer. 

You would lie to yourself if you said you weren’t terrified. It’s as if your heart was stuck in your throat, and your mind was racing from one thought to another. You stop in your tracks as you near the bed and Astarion turns back to you when he notices your hesitation, “Is something the matter, my dear?”

So many things, and yet you struggle to find which one to mention first. “Will it hurt?” When you speak, your voice is barely audible, as if voicing those words with a quiet voice made them less real as you considered them.

“I promise, the pleasure will be far greater than the pain,” he purrs, caressing your cheek, and you close your eyes at the contact, breathing in deeply. “You trust me, don't you?” You open your eyes back up to find him staring lovingly at you and you nod, “Then you have nothing to fear.”

His hand gets lost in your hair as he pulls you into a deep kiss, and it's as if all the air gets pulled out of your lungs. He grasps your waist roughly, his nails digging through your silk nightgown, and a soft moan escapes you. As you break the kiss gasping for air, his lips trail down to your neck, leaving a path of kisses in its wake. When you breathe in, you’re hit with the intoxicating smell of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy, and you find yourself leaning into him, dizzy from his essence. His hands make their way to your shoulders, lightly grazing your skin there as he pushes away the straps of your nightgown. Your nightclothes are quickly discarded, as the silk easily slides off from your body to your feet, leaving you bare before him. Your chest rises with anticipation at each breath you take, longing for his touch, and yet you remain still – awaiting his next move. As he lifts your chin, your eyes lock with his, and your lips part in anticipation of tasting him once more. He hovers close, murmuring softly, his breath just a whisper away from your mouth.

“You are a vision, my love.”

He leans next to your ear, his hot breath creating a warmth pooling at the bottom of your belly.

“Absolute perfection, ethereal beauty.”

The back of his hand slides along your arm, down to your hand that he brings to his cheek, kissing your skin ever softly.

“And you will be, forever.”

When he faces you again, your eyes are filled with lust and you can’t contain the hunger growing at your core. You close the gap between the two of you in an instant, devouring him, and your hands fall to his trousers, fumble to remove them. Astarion growls into the kiss as you rip open his shirt, not caring for the buttons breaking apart in the process. With his clothes out of the way, he lifts you up to bring you to bed, laying you underneath him all the while continuing to give you the attention you deserve.

“Gods, I wanna devour you.”

Astarion wastes no time to lavish every inch of your skin, starting with your navel, licking and kissing his way down to your thighs, worshipping you as he leaves love bites on his trail. He props your legs up on his shoulder as his mouth bites the soft skin of your thighs, only drawing out the slightest drop of blood, and you grab the bedsheets trying to get a hold of yourself through his teasing. He laps at the fresh wounds to clean it and lets his tongue find its way to your entrance, giving it one long lick while his eyes look for yours.

He tastes your juices on his lips, smirking at you. “Still just as delicious as the first time I tasted you.”

He keeps playfully licking you, barely grazing over your neglected clit, and you squirm under him, until he grabs your thighs strongly, keeping you grounded against his face. You try to move from his grasp, but it's useless; you are nowhere near as strong as him, you would have to take whatever he would have the mercy to give you. He bites down deeper into your other thigh, savouring the richness of your blood, and you gasp. You didn't expect it, but the pain quickly turned into pleasure and you were delighted by the sensation. He pulls away soon after and you whine, pleading for more.

“Yes, my treasure?” The words roll deliciously on his tongue, only teasing you further and you groan, frustrated.

“Please.”

“If you want something, you’ll have to use your words,” he purrs seductively. “Please what?”

“Please…” you take a few breaths, trying to compose yourself. You can hide your desperation for his attention anymore, not after all those days you’ve been craving him. That time in the hallway when you wanted nothing more than to kiss him, when you danced together and the proximity was stifling you, how his words disarmed you, made you want him in the most depraved ways, how you made him yours last night… You want him. “Please, I need you, Astarion.”

He grins with your blood tainting his lips, “Anything for my precious pet.”

He dives into your cunt, devouring you as if you were his first meal in days and you can’t control the loud moan that escapes you. He laps at your entrance, drinking your juices as he did your blood, without wasting a single drop of your precious nectar. When he judges that your pussy had enough, he moves to your clit, giving it the attention it so badly craved. His lips cover it, allowing him to suck gently over your sweet spot, and that’s when you start to feel it, the build up within you nearing its peak. You chant his name like a prayer, each time speaking it louder, until you feel yourself reaching your edge. You try your best to muffle the sounds coming out of you, but Astarion would not allow it. He stops, for just a moment, just long enough for you to look back at him and wonder why he would torture you so and stop when you were so close. 

“Don’t be shy, my sweet. I love the way you scream my name.”

As his nails dig painfully into your thighs, and his tongue dives back to abuse your sensitive bud, you feel the waves of your climax hit you all at once. The scream that leaves your lips is otherworldly, and you get lost in the feeling as your back arches into the mattress. The world around you vanishes and you see stars as your body still rides the aftershake of your orgasm, your breathing barely able to keep up. As you’re coming down from your high, Astarion kisses his way back up, making sure to leave additional bites on his way; noticeably one nicely placed over the curve of your breast. You finally look down to find him looking back at you, with his mouth covered in a mix of your come and blood.

He speaks with a husky voice, his half-lidded eyes lost in yours. “You have no idea how much I want you.”

You manage to mumble a few words through your exhaustion, “Then show me.”

Without breaking eye contact, he moves down just enough to slide his hard length down your navel and between your folds, moving to get himself wet from you. At this angle, his shaft created a delicious friction against your clit that made you cry out louder from the overstimulation. He doesn’t torture you for much longer, as he whispers in your ear, before giving you exactly what you need.

“Sing for me, my treasure.”

He slides inside you with one powerful thrust, making you scream again and your hands fly to his back, searching to ground yourself. When he picks up a languid rhythm, your nails dig into his skin, scratching near his scars and he lets out a feral growl before grabbing your wrist and pinning you roughly against the bed.

“All these months, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about you; your voice, your skin, your delicious cunt. I'll never make the mistake of letting you leave. Ever. Again.” He pounds into you harder, pausing as he speaks these last words, and something clicks inside of you as you hear the possessiveness in his hoarse voice. If it had been anyone else you would’ve wanted to speak up, but when said by him, right now, you wanted nothing but to comply. 

“Do you have any idea of the things I’ve been wanting to do to you these last few days? Fuck, the thoughts that crossed my mind… How I’ve wanted to bend you over that dining table and overfill you with my come, having you dripping from me for days to remind you who you belong to, my dearest consort, mmh–” He picks up the pace, ramming into your cunt deeper, hitting that spot that made you see stars, “If it was only up to me, I would keep you chained to this bed and breed you, over and over again.” He laps at the spot he used to feed on you, the warmth it left on your skin, along with his depraved speech, only pushed you closer and closer to your second collapse. “How beautiful you would look, marked as mine with my bites and my come, mine to please, mine to own. Isn't this what you want?” His lips graze the shell of your ear and he whispers, “To be mine?”

Your mind is clouded by lust and all you can think about is how good he makes you feel, how great he’s been taking care of you, and hells, you really do, you want nothing more than to be his, and his only. Let him own you, use you. As much as you loathed him previously, you can’t help but admit to yourself that you’ve longed for him and his attention, his touch, his kiss, everything he had to offer and everything he’s been wanting to share with you. You always loved him, the only thing those several months spent apart did for you was affirming this truth, and now that you were finally back together, you couldn’t deny it any longer. Yes, I’ll stay with you, I’ll be yours, I’ll be everything you want me to be, I’ll love you until the world ends, you want to say, but only three words leave your lips in a whisper: 

“Make me yours.”

A smile creeps up on his lips at your words, and he bites down on your exposed neck through the markings he had previously left, drinking you in like a starved man as he resumes his thrusts into you. Gods, you missed this, missed him, missed how he made you feel, missed how good you two were together. His drinking on you always acted like an aphrodisiac; it made you see the brightest of stars, made you feel like your entire body was frozen only to be burning with desire moments after, as pure fire was coursing through your veins. You knew that following his bite, you were only moments away to feel the waves of pleasure over you. The vibration from Astarion’s growls against your neck as he drank only contributed more to your end. All it took was another sip from him and you were hit with the strongest of thunders, screaming once again as your body trembled with the aftershock, almost completely taking you out. The waves of your release rippled through your body, your heart pounding in your chest as if it was gonna burst out. If it wasn’t for Astarion savagely fucking you, you think you would have passed out by the strength of your orgasm.

You were feeling more drained than usual, dizzy, even. That’s when you notice your lover still latching onto you. Instinctively, you try to stop him but his grip on your wrist pins you down with no way to move out, and that’s when it all comes back to you. He was going to kill you, turn you into a vampire, make you his dark consort. 

You feel yourself getting colder and colder, his grip on your wrists tightening, leaving you with your last bruises. Your world grows dark and a tear streams from your eye as they get shut tightly. Nothing hurts anymore: not the fangs in your neck, not his hands holding your wrists down, not his weight upon you. 

This was for the greater good, to make you better, make you stronger, keep you safe. You trusted him, and you would welcome this new life he offers you. You wouldn’t be afraid of anyone ever again. In your last seconds of consciousness, you use what you have left of your remaining lifeforce to try and whisper his name, as a thank you for caring, thank you for everything, please help me through this, please never leave my side, A–…

“Star…”

I love you.

And you did, until your very last breath.

-

He says, "Ooh, baby girl, don't get cut on my edges

I'm the king of everything and oh, my tongue is a weapon

There's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs

And if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight

Thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are very much appreciated <3

tag list (comment or message me if you want to be added!): @grimistheangerinmystares @silverfangmarks @roguishcat @nyx-knox @anacdoce @jwera @annnagennnie @angeldarkness95 @marlowethebard

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

You Better Cross the Line

I'm Bright Baby Blue, Falling Into You

Chelsea!Roy Kent x Coach's Daughter!Reader

2k words

Warnings: Language, reader has a nickname, lying/sneaking around, adults drink beer, Roy is already down bad, no Ted Lasso characters except for Roy, fluff & flirting

“Yeah, Kent. You could call me sometime.”

Roy nodded, clearly fighting the urge to smile, and squeezed your hand. “You should probably go inside soon,” he sighed as he turned his face towards the sky. “Your dad’ll be looking for you.” As though he couldn’t help it, he looked back at you. “But I’ll call you,” he promised with a firm nod.

You reluctantly left Roy on the pitch, your head swimming with wondering when the footballer would call you and what he would say. Or ask. It was clear you were no longer alone in your attraction, and that this was at least something more than an entertaining flirtation on his end.

The questions still floated in your mind while you watched your father gather his work things. When he wasn’t looking, you quickly scribbled your mobile number on a sticky note and tucked it into Roy’s locker when no one was paying attention.

In the car you were uncharacteristically quiet; normally, you and your dad would spend the drive chatting about training, about the players, about any football news or rumors you’d read while sitting in his office. But today, your thoughts were too full of Roy Kent and his brown eyes and wondering when he’d call to offer anything more than little Mmm hmms and Yeahs to your increasingly perplexed father.

It was the moment you walked through the front door that your mobile and the universe had mercy on you. You all but scrambled up the stairs as you answered it.

“Hello?” Fuck, since when was your voice this damn breathy?

“Hey.”

Your heart and your bedroom door slammed in sync. Roy Kent was calling you.

How were you supposed to breathe, let alone talk, when a gorgeous, funny, talented, famous footballer called you up after holding your hand on the pitch?

Clearly, Roy could tell you were struggling to form words, because he went on speaking. “This is Roy.” As if you wouldn’t know that delicious growl anywhere.

“I know,” you finally managed. You collapsed on your bed. “You called fast,” you teased.

“Didn’t want you to think I’d forgotten,” he replied with a small chuckle. Why the hell did he sound nervous? You were the one living in a fantasy, lying in your room, chatting on the phone with Chelsea’s star player. For him, this was probably just a Thursday night. “I was wondering…” He cleared his throat, a low, gruff sound. “D’you want to come over? We could watch a film, have some pizza.”

You were living in the Matrix. That was it. That had to be it. There was no other explanation to why Roy fucking Kent was asking you out. Well, in. But still. How the fuck was this happening?

“Sure,” you managed, hoping he couldn’t hear how thick your voice felt. “That sounds great.” You sat up and cleared your throat, grimacing at your reflection in the mirror and trying to flatten your suddenly unruly hair. “What time?”

“Whenever.” There was that Roy Kent aloofness, almost as if he was trying to convince you he didn’t care as much as he truly did. “Just… you’re not telling your dad, right?”

There it was. The thing that was going to be perpetually hanging over whatever this thing was going to end up being. Dear Old Dad, Chelsea’s fearless leader, Roy’s boss. He’d never in a million years approve of you seeing Roy Kent. He knew what footballers were like, and he knew what Roy Kent was like. Your dad might have that heart attack he was always joking about if he got even a whiff of this conversation.

Not that you were going to let that stop you.

“Course not,” you hummed. “You’d be buried under Stamford Bridge if the old man ever found out you called.”

His chuckle echoed in your ear. “Appreciate it.”

He quickly gave you directions to his flat, and you agreed to be over in about an hour. When you hung up, you fought the urge to scream into a pillow. You were going to Roy Kent’s place. You’d be watching a movie, hanging out, with Roy Kent. Hell, you might wind up kissing Roy Kent by the end of the night.

You clambered out of bed and rushed to your closet. You’d gone on lots of dates, you reminded yourself. Dates with ridiculously good-looking guys even. Successful dates, you might add. But none with Roy Kent, the little voice in your head pointed out.

After stressing over whether or not you could even call this a date, you finally forced yourself to find a flattering pair of jeans and a light sweater. Comfortable, casual enough for a movie night, but something you knew you looked good in. A quick brush through your hair, a little lip gloss, some trainers on your feet. It was just right for a night in, and hopefully simple enough to not rouse your father’s attention.

“’m taking the car!” you shouted as you practically skipped downstairs.

“Where are you off to?” Your mother’s soft smile was a welcome sight when you were hoping to avoid your dad.

You fiddled with the strap of your purse. “Angela’s,” you blurted out, naming a friend your mother knew well. “Just having a girls’ night.”

She nodded; there was no reason to doubt you, not when your summers were always full of evenings with your friends. “Have fun.” A kiss landed on your forehead. “Be safe, alright?”

Be safe. Her words bounced around in your head as you climbed into your dad’s car, the one you usually borrowed when you were home. Be safe. Was spending time like this, alone in Roy Kent’s flat, being safe? You weren’t an innocent little dove, but you knew his reputation. You knew it well. You giggled over it with your friends, wondering if the things you read in the tabloids were true, rolling your eyes lightheartedly when the girls asked if you’d ever seen anything in the changing room.

Oh, the things they’d say if they knew what you were up to.

The drive to his building was shorter than you expected, shorter than you needed it to be with the nerves you were trying to control. Somehow, they got worse as you strolled into the building and found your way to Roy Kent’s flat. After a shake of your shoulders to try to get rid of the tension they carried, you gave a quick rap to the door.

You waited maybe two beats before you heard the knob turn. Roy Kent filled the doorway in a pair of dark jeans and a black shirt that fit him too perfectly. He smirked at the sight of you, not bothering to hide the way his eyes flickered down your body. He was less the guy on the pitch who quietly asked if he could call you and more the cocky man you’d read about in tabloids; you weren’t sure which you preferred, but you’d take either one in a heartbeat.

“C’mon in,” he hummed as he opened the door wider for you. You followed him inside, pretending you often found yourself in the flats of professional footballers. He nodded to a shelf filled with DVDs. “Pick something,” he said simply. “You want a beer?”

“Sure.” You turned your attention to the movies as you listened to his footsteps recede to what you assumed was his kitchen. He had a decent collection, you observed. A little bit of everything, and even a couple things you’d never heard of. A smile crossed your face when you caught sight of a familiar movie title.

Roy returned with a couple of beers and a box of pizza, his eyebrows raised when he saw the movie you were holding up. “When Harry Met Sally?” he read.

You nodded and accepted the bottle he handed you as well as the pizza box. “That alright? I really like this one.”

“Whatever you want, princess.” He took the case from you and nodded for you to have a seat.

Roy Kent’s couch was comfortable. It didn’t creak when you sat, not like the couches in residence halls tended to do. You put the pizza on his coffee table and opened the box, letting the delicious smell fill the room. After he turned on the television and set up the movie, Roy turned to look at you, something unreadable flickering on his face for a brief moment.

“Grab a slice,” he mumbled as he plopped down next to you. His eyes found yours, searching for a brief moment. “Thanks for coming over.”

There he was. The guy who’d laid next to you on the pitch and gently touched your hand and asked if he could call you. The guy you liked best, you decided.

“Thanks for inviting me,” you murmured, grabbing a piece of pizza before settling back into the couch. For the second time that day, you found yourself far too close to Roy Kent. Even with the whole couch to sit on, he chose to sit close to you, close enough for your arms to brush every time you took a sip of your beer.

The two of you watched the start of the movie in silence, except for a few breathy chuckles here and there when Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan were particularly funny. Thankful that the food had filled your stomach with something besides butterflies, you stole a glance at Roy. He looked comfortable, almost happy as he brought his bottle to his lips. With his eyes still on the screen, he lifted his arm and settled it behind the couch- behind you. His gazed flickered to you for a moment, eyebrows raised playfully, before he slouched into the cushions.

Was this what Roy Kent making a move looked like?

You tried to focus your attention on the movie, you really did. But you could hear his breathing and feel his side pressed against yours and your peripheral vision could see the pink in this cheeks and fuck, why did he have to smell so good?

When he leaned forward to place his beer on the coffee table, his arm wrapped around your shoulders. Oh, shit, you forgot how to breathe. Especially when he kept his arm firmly there once he sat back against the cushions.

Your inability to breathe only got worse when he bowed his head and whispered in your ear, “This alright?”

“Yeah,” you exhaled, feeling bold enough to turn to face him.

From this close, you could count every freckle on his face, memorize the shape of his nose and lips, see the brightness in his eyes. You could practically feel the rise and fall of his chest as he leaned forward, letting his nose brush against yours.

“This alright?”

Your heartbeat pounded in your ear, drowning out the sound of Billy Crystal singing “Surrey with the Fringe on Top” on the telly. The only thing you could think about was the tip of Roy’s nose bumping your burning skin and his lips only centimetres away from your own.

“Yes.”

Far too many nights in your dorm had been spent imagining Roy Kent’s lips on yours. But none of those dreams compared to the real thing. Because those fantasies didn’t tell you how soft his lips were, or how his hand rested on your thigh with a gentle firmness. Or how he tasted like pizza and beer and delight. Or the way his mouth parted so his tongue could gently flick against your lips before he pulled away, looking as breathless as you felt. Or, worst of all, how you knew he’d just ruined every other kiss for you.

He cleared his throat as he leaned back, his eyes roaming your face. “Well?”

“Well, what?” You knew he could see the flush on your face, but you hoped that you could hide it by acting as cool as he usually did.

“Well, are you going to let me kiss you again?” There was that cocky grin, the one you often saw on the pitch, the one that made your entire body go warm. “Or are you going to run and tell The Sun that Roy Kent is a shit kisser?”

Despite the swarm of butterflies fluttering in your chest, you laughed and rolled your eyes. “Sorry, I think I need another demonstration.”

Roy shook his head at you and cupped your face. “If you insist, princess.”

Taglist: @gee72sstuff @book-of-roses @kissykissymouth @emmy2811 @hart-kinsella @klaine-92 @dearvoidgoodnight @misshall14 @issieruby @royal-sunflower @kissmekent @veryprairieberry @itswhateveripromise

[potatomountain]

We Will Never Die

Pairing: Rocker Hongjoong x fem!reader

Au: Friends to lovers, band au

Genre: fluff, a lil angst, suggestive

WC: 1.4k

Summary: You stood by your best friend's side all your life, building up his dream because you were always a part of it to him. You underestimated how much, ready to leave, just for him to remind you that what the two of you have will never die.

Warnings: 17+, suggestive, a lil toxicity and implied smut

AN: was gunna have smut but was struggling and this is for the @lapydiaries January event! "Garnet" so today was the last day to post. Anyways. Enjoy the brainrot of one Kim Hongjoong. Didn't turn out how I wanted but eh, I'll play out the rest in my head. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk!

Banners and dividers by Me. Blank blogs WILL be blocked!

Make a band with your best friend, they say. It’ll be nice, they say.

Wrong.

So very wrong.

For starters you weren’t the musical genius he was. Playing an instrument to a skill that wows the audience. He also had the charisma for it.

Kim Hongjoong, your childhood best friend, was born to be on stage. You… weren’t.

That didn’t mean his dreams of touring the world excluded you however. In fact every time he talked about it, you were a part of his speech. All throughout high school as he got better at the guitar and his voice charmed more than enough people, you fell more into his shadow.

Your self confidence plummeted at first, but Hongjoong did everything he could to change that. He made his band, and you were part of it. You were there at every practice, every rehearsal. You helped him with auditions, Hongjoong saying he didn’t want anyone you didn’t trust. By the end of your high school days, he had a decent band and you were their honorary member.

What you didn’t tell him was you had decided to go to school to learn how to manage. You wanted to help, learning all about the trade and what it takes to become successful outside of good music.

Hongjoong protected your self-esteem all throughout high school. He hyped you up when you felt down, reminded you he believed in you, and never once doubted your presence in his life. So you wanted to do everything you could to protect his dream.

That was fine and all until you were both in your mid twenties and Hongjoong and the group “Garnet” had a decent following. Just earlier this year they had a single that played on the radio, really taking off their career.

He was getting offers to sign with other labels, better management, and in your opinion they were damn good opportunities. But that wasn’t the only reason that had you regretting this all.

Chicks lover rocker guys after all. And he ate that up, dominating the hearts and cunts of all sorts of girls that came to his show.

You were the one who had to make sure the girls didn’t try anything afterwards.

Sure, out of the whole band, Hongjoong had his bed preoccupied the least, but it was still enough to get your heart hurting. As if you could pinpoint when you started pining over him like a man and not a friend.

They were all teases, all eight of them to an extent, and you weren’t no saint either, but you avoided their advances. At least until the other night. The drummer, Wooyoung, really did enjoy eating you out. Too bad his mouth was so loud he bragged to the others.

Now, for whatever reason, Hongjoong was mad at you.

He never said he was, but there were signs. The change in wardrobe, the offhanded comments, the way Wooyoung also seemed to be in his bad graces.

And his teasing. God his teasing. He wore tank tops, talked about getting more tattoos and then would point to more intimate places on his body. He even joked about getting your name. Seonghwa, who did their makeup, started giving Hongjoong heavier makeup, and now he had a new piercing on his brow.

The crowd loved it, signs that were definitely not kid friendly were at the venue this night. Girls in skimpy outfits, fishnets and leather skirts. His type, and they were all vying for his attention. And he gave it. He winked and flirted, flicking his tongue out, but now after every instance, he glanced to the side of the stage and right where you were standing.

He was flirting to tease you, as if saying he could fuck anyone he wanted, rubbing it in your face.

You weren’t sure when he became an asshole, but you were going to give him a piece of his mind.

The band of course stayed and had a drink or two after the show while you oversaw the equipment back to the bus. It was mid cross country tour and you were not going to let his antics screw it up. So once it was all settled and you knew the men were back at their hotels, you went right to his room and barged in, not caring if he had a woman with him.

Which, he did. “Get out.”

“But we were just starting to get to know each other.”

“Is she someone important?” The woman on his lap, who was shirtless, asked.

“Just my manager.” He drawled, staring at you with that same angry look you couldn’t decipher. “Can this wait.”

“No. It can’t.” Blood boiling with anger you clenched your fists at your side. “Either we talk now or I had your contract over to someone else and walk out.”

That got his attention, pushing the woman off and grabbing her shirt. “Scram.” He climbed off the bed and over to you as the woman left, seeming hesitant as he stopped before you. “You wouldn’t actually do that… would you?”

“Why the hell not? It’s not like you need me! You’re getting better label offers and contracts that could really take your career to new heights. You can get any fucking woman you want, a better manager, probably one that doesn’t sleep with the bandmates so why the hell should I stick around? Because we’re friends? Ha, is that why you have been rubbing it in my face all night?” You let your insecurities and anger boil over, tears pricking your eyes.

You just didn’t feel good enough for him. You let yourself believe if you worked hard enough and gave him his dream then you deserved to stand by his side. You deserved his love.

The realization you might have been in love with him all this time shook you, a few tears breaking free from your lashes while he could only stare.

“Rub it in your face? No! No that wasn’t-” With a groan he slapped his palm against his face, running it up to pull off the red and black striped hat he had worn for the show earlier. “I was trying to make you jealous.”

“What?” Frozen in place, you gawked at him. He was trying to make you jealous?

“Yeah.” He avoided your gaze, looking down. “The teasing wasn’t working and I wasn’t sure how else to get your attention. I was too scared to approach you about it-”

“About what? Kim fucking Hongjoong what are you getting at?” Despite the threat your voice was barely a whisper, hope lodged in your throat.

He blushed, he actually blushed, playing with the hat in his hands. It was very rare you saw Hongjoong as anything other than confident and sure of himself. “I was jealous you got intimate with Wooyoung. I thought beforehand it’ll be okay as long as you stay by my side but…” He finally looked up at you, raw emotion in his eyes. “But then I realized I didn’t want anyone else to touch you like that. You’ve always been my other half. I was so sure that what we had could never die, even if we did…”

The hope blossomed in your chest and you swallowed hard. “Are you saying… you were mad and did all that because you want to be the one I fuck?”

He shrugged. “I want to be the one for you for everything. Me and you. That’s how this started. My dream isn’t anything without you, don’t you know that?” He stepped closer and reached out. “Through thick and thin it’s always you.”

You let him pull you against him, chest to chest, your breath knocked out of you. “Hongjoong… this sounds like a confession.”

“Maybe because it is?” He was already leaning in as if to kiss you; not that you were making any effort to pull away.

All it took was one moment, one kiss, and you were on the bed beneath him, lips locked and clothes flying off with a desperation you couldn’t recall seeing him with before. At least until you were completely on display for him, shy as he pulled away just to admire your body.

You tried to close your legs and cover your chest but he just shook his head and pinned your hands at your side. “I’ve waited for this, please let me have it.”

Even if you wanted to deny him, you couldn’t. His hair was a mess, made even worse now that his shirt was tossed somewhere but he still had his accessories dangling from his neck.

The sight of him like this would never grow old in your mind. Your desire and love for him, brought out by his touches, would never die.

[writingduhh]

i literally got my wisdom teeth removed a few hours ago and i am in PAIN

pls pls can we have some comfort ted to schlatt?

love you sm stay safe 💓💓💓💓

Ahhhh I love this idea! I’m so sorry about your wisdom teeth I’ve heard it’s so painful :( please rest up and take care of yourself! Hope this can offer a little distraction 💜

❥ Jschlatt :

▷ Before your surgery, Schlatt does a deep dive into what you’ll need post-op. How to relieve pain, help you heal faster, and everything in-between. He also makes sure to stock up on tons of soft foods, wanting to make sure you have lots of options

▷ On the way to the office he immediately notices your nervousness. He takes it upon himself to lighten the mood the best he can. If all attempts at humor fail he takes a much sweeter approach.

He lays his hand on your thigh, giving it a tight squeeze. “You’re going to do great, y/n. And I’ll be right here with you.”

▷ After the paperwork has all been signed he tightly hugs you goodbye, gently whispering to you that title be ok. Once you’re taken back he sits down in the waiting room. He insists on staying in the office until you’re done, no matter how long it takes he refuses to leave without you.

▷ As soon as you’re out of surgery schlatt is by your side, making sure you’re comfortable whisky he intensively listens to the nurses aftercare instructions.

▷ Even though you might be a little grumpy or out of it, due to the anesthesia, Schlatt is incredibly patient. If you try to say something but it’s all garbled he listens attentively. He tries his best to decipher your words, occasionally making silly guesses that get you both laughing.

“Can you say that one more time, toots? I couldn’t hear you.”

You rolled your eyes playfully and tried again, but somehow it came out even more garbled this time.

“Uhh… you want me to turn it up? Like the radio?”

“No, no, no,” you mumbled, struggling to get the words out. He looked a little flustered now.

“You want to… fuck? Darlin’, you just got out of—” Before he could finish, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

You pointed dramatically at the colorful suckers sat in the cup holder that the receptionist had given you on your way out.

“OH! You want a sucker.”

The two of you broke into laughter, tears forming in your eyes from how hard you were laughing.

Once you both finally caught your breath, Schlatt grabbed one of the suckers from the cup holder and handed it to you, making you smile even wider.

Through the gauze in your mouth you managed to say a “thank you.”

“Of course.” He lovingly says, pressing a kiss on the side of your head.

“Ya know, if you hadn’t just got out of surgery I wouldn’t have said no.” He subtly smirks, earning a playful slap from you.

“Hey! Hey! I’m just being honest.”

▷ When he notices you’re feeling tense from the soreness, schlatt offers to give you a gentle shoulder or neck massage. He’s surprisingly good at it, and you find yourself relaxing under his touch, the pain melting away a bit as he works out the tension.

▷ When you’re too sore or tired to eat by yourself, Schlatt happily feeds you spoonfuls of soup or pudding, joking about how he’s becoming a pro at this. He makes airplane noises just to see you roll your eyes, but you secretly love the attention.

▷ Knowing that you’ve been through a tough time, Schlatt takes it upon himself to spoil you with little gifts. He surprises you with a cozy new blanket, a scented candle, or that book you’ve been eyeing for a while. Each gift comes with a cheeky comment like, “Just a little something to make you smile, even if you’re still puffy.”

▷ He is super protective of you during your recovery. If anyone asks to visit or call, he gently but firmly lets them know that you’re resting and need your space, all while making sure you know that he’s there for anything you need.

▷ He can’t resist teasing you a little about your puffy cheeks, but it’s all in good fun. He pretends to take “before and after” pictures, making goofy faces in each one to match your swollen expression.

▷ If you wake up in the middle of the night feeling uncomfortable or in pain, he is right there to comfort you. He gets you a fresh ice pack, helps you take your meds, and stays up with you until you’re able to fall back asleep, all while holding your hand and whispering reassurances.

❥ Ted :

▷ On the way to the dentist, Ted can sense if you’re feeling a bit anxious. He gives you a lighthearted pep talk, reminding you that it’s just a quick procedure and that he’ll be there every step of the way.

▷ Once you’re taken back into the surgery room he makes his way to a nearby store. He buys all of your favorite treats, drinks, and foods. Well, at least the ones you can eat

▷ Ted is the first face you see the moment you come out of surgery. He gives you a reassuring smile and plants a small kiss on your forehead. Before the nurses can bring out a wheelchair, Ted has already decided to carry you out to the car himself.

“How’re you feeling?” he asks sweetly, cradling you in his arms as he walks through the parking lot.

“Mm, good,” you mumble, your arms snugly wrapped around his neck.

“Alright, let me just figure out how to open the door here…” he grumbles, trying to find a way to reach the door handle without setting you down.

“Ted, it’s okay. You can set me down—I can open my door,” you say softly.

“Nope. It’s my job to take care of you and keep you safe.”

“Well… I think you might need to put me down to be ‘safe,’” you smirk.

He sighs. “Alright, you might’ve got me there.”

Ever so carefully, he lowers you to the ground, his hand resting gently on your back as he ushers you into the passenger seat. He even manages to buckle your seatbelt for you. Not without giving you a quick kiss

▷ On the ride home, Ted reflects on how proud he is of you for getting through the procedure. He playfully teases about how you handled it like a champ and how he’s going to tell everyone how brave you were. His words are full of admiration, making you feel cherished.

▷ When you get home, Ted carefully helps you out of the car, making sure you don’t trip or stumble. He wraps an arm around you to keep you steady, guiding you inside and straight to the couch or bed, where he’s already prepared a cozy spot for you to rest.

▷ Ted is super thoughtful, having already set up a recovery space with everything you might need. He’s laid out blankets, pillows, and has the remote within arm’s reach. He’s also got your medications and a glass of water ready, so you don’t have to worry about a thing.

▷ Once you’re back home and resting, Ted sits quietly beside you, holding your hand or gently stroking your hair. Even if you’re too tired to talk, he stays with you, offering silent support and comfort just by being close.

▷ As you start to come around, Ted sits beside you, keeping the conversation light and soft. He talks about plans for when you’re feeling better, maybe a fun date or a small trip, to give you something to look forward to while you recover.

▷ At night, he insists on sleeping next to you, even if it means squishing into the bed with all the pillows and blankets you have piled up. He keeps an eye on you, waking up occasionally to make sure you’re still comfortable and not in any pain.

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Had a thought about what if Heimdall's powers doesn't stop at "reading people's minds"?

OK HEAR ME OUT.

There's a pretty good theory that goes around the God of War fandom that Odin casted a spell on Heimdall that made him 'unable' to read Odin's mind or even manipulate the things he reads in Odin's mind, plus a spell that made Heimdall fully obey/trust Odin blindly. Point is, there's a theory that Odin casted a magic that made Heimdall can't betray Odin.

Now, this is of course, a fan-theory of a fan-theory, but why did Odin do that? Obviously, because Odin likes to have everything under his control, and because Heimdall is the most useful person to him. But also what if Odin knows what Heimdall's potential was?

We know how arrogant and how much of a pompous ass he is, and that means he easily fights and wins every battle he's ever fought in his life. Heck, he might've never faced any difficulty in his life until Kratos. HECK, I'm about 87.5% sure that he didn't know he could materialize his own limb with bifrost until Kratos 😂 OK MY POINT IS -> Heimdall only lived up to only like 20% of his total abilities.

He's the damn God of Foresight. Foresight is literally being able to know the future itself, however, in the game, Heimdall is only 'locked'/'hit the ceiling' with being able to... 'read people's minds'

Also, 'reading people's minds' is a really broad term here, because how much of people's minds does he read? Does he only read what people are thinking at that moment? Or is he also able to know the past of the people he's reading? (this is possible because he knew of Atreus' origins during the ride from the wall to Asgard grounds, and when he got choked to death by Kratos, saying "monster" as he possibly (1) saw Kratos actively thinking of the other gods he'd killed at that moment, or (2) Heimdall unlocked his ability to read people's past.

ANYWAY back to my point, he's the God of Foresight. He's so locked inside the cage that he and Odin made, so he doesn't have any opportunity or even the need to train or to even explore his own abilities. What if Odin knew how much of a threat Heimdall would be if Heimdall even had a speck of will to betray/doubt him?

IF Heimdall had a chance to explore, deepen his understanding of his own powers, had a chance to even struggle, he might be able to look into the future itself, not only just reading people's mind at the moment. What if he's able to read the far future? He can know how a battle would end. He can know that before a fight, namely with Kratos, he can see the future that he won't be able to win the fight against Kratos?

Like, if he also can see the future, that means his power is borderline prophecy, very similar to the Giants' abilities, it's just that his foresight is not that far to the future like the Giant's (like how Faye could tell the future even after her own death), but it's more clear and precise -- you get what I mean.

If Heimdall had the power to actually tell the future, like the God of Foresight he is, he would also be able to tell Odin's plans, how he'd betray his own family to have everything under his control. He'd also be able to tell how Ragnarok will inevitably happen no matter what Odin does, and just literally everything that happens. It's also borderline Norn-like, but I'm not gonna get too ahead of myself here.

Yeah so back to my main point, Heimdall never lived his full potential because of Odin and his own arrogance. Fr he just need lots of Kratos' to make him struggle and slam his head to the ground over and over so he could upgrade his abilities.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.