#i still watch this like. once a week at least
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🪶 crusty first kiss rookanis enjoy 🪶
By the time they come out of the Diamond and into the marketplace, even the crystal peddler is closing up.
"Mierda."
"What?" Rook comes to a halt next to him. Little less than a week ago, he would have stepped away from just how close she stands to him.
"I meant to buy groceries. We're out of some spices."
Rook is quiet, like she's working up courage to speak her mind. Strange.
"I mean.. I've got groceries at home, if you still got time."
"How would you know the contents of the cooking rack?" Lucanis asks, despite motioning for her to lead the way. "I've not seen you use it once."
"Because someone always hogs the stove." She playfully knocks her shoulder into his arm. "No, I meant in my pad. It's just- well, up the roofs, but down the road. You get it."
She takes his hand and guides him down the road, up the trellis, over beams and through strategically broken windows.
"It's probably smelly in here," she says as she pulls out a keyring from under her cloak and opens a doorlock hidden behind an overgrown trellis. "Haven't been here in.. oh, over half a year."
"Hit the Antaam and hauled out of Treviso."
"For all the good that did, yeah. Oh, dear, sorry about that!"
Smells like stale air and rotten onions. Spite makes gagging sounds next to him as they both thread themselves through the open frame.
"Kitchenette's over there, you can just pick up whatever you like - let me open another window." She says over there as though her room wasn't so small it was already crowded with two short Crows and a demon.
A grunt, as she breaks open another of her windows. "Curse this forsaken rookery."
Sweet. Rook lives in a rookery.
"I'm sure her name hasn't been Rook her entire life, Spite. Or that she lived in a rookery all her life. How would a babe even get up here?"
If Lucanis had been told a year ago that he would comfortably talk to a demon inside him out loud while his dear is well within earshot, he would have fallen off a beam cackling.
Rook laughs. "It is a little funny, he's not wrong." Smart girl.
"Varric's chosen Rook for the chess piece, though. Says I think in straight lines. Can't imagine why."
"What's wrong with your own name?" Instead of going through her cabinets, he watches her light what seems like enough candles to burn down half of Treviso as she weaves a path through the clutter on the ground. Messy girl.
"He has this old friend of his, from where he comes from, who he'd given it as a nickname. Also an elf. Shorter than both of us, still, apparently. But she was Daisy first, I guess."
"I'm taller than you are."
"And I heard what Teia said to you about me. How you found the one Crow shorter than yourself." No bite or judgement, none at all. He's said worse to Davrin on a good day.
There's a spell of quiet, as he turns to actually take inventory of her reserves and she collects things she wants at the Lighthouse off the floor into an enormous backpack. Clothes, mostly, from the sound of it.
At least, quiet except for Spite logging every individual smell he registers. Every herb, every spice, the old must of damp fabric on wood planks, garlic so rotten the cloves have turned liquid inside. Lucanis' own cologne and Rook's strange mixture of cocoa and wet soil, though he dismisses those as Known and therefore uninteresting.
"Your kitchen is well-stocked, Rook." When she leans against the side of her tall cupboard, her plumed jacket hangs haphazardly over the doorknob behind her. By the door, her overstuffed backpack and a strapped milk crate filled with shoes.
"Don't sound so surprised. I remind you my shit-frys were at least edible, as opposed to whatever Harding does to the poor produce."
"That you call them shit-frys makes me all the more concerned." His sigh is playful, and she knows it. She hands off a basket to him, to collect the kitchenette's loot in.
She moves her hair over her bare shoulder, watches him collect containers of dried herbs, pink salt and ground garlic, syrups, jams. Some jerky, preserved damson.
"I don't actually put shit in it, you know." Through the sleeve of his shirt, she pinches at his arm.
"Do I know that?" She plays at offense when she catches his glance.
"Shit-fry's said faster than random assortment of fried vegetables. If I had grains, I'd call it Crow Feed."
It hits him like a blind bird hits a tall window, the domesticity of what they're doing here.
The achingly familiar weight of her skin on his. The unconditional trust as she lets him raid her kitchen. The fact that, when he'd asked to touch her back just that morning, to rub the visible tension from the muscles along her spine, she'd brushed her hair over her chest and turned away from him.You don't have to ask, Lucanis. You never have to ask.
The way that, even though he holds himself still as marble, his muscles still soften to accomodate for her touch.
Her forehead rests square against his triceps. Fingers curl in the fabric of his waistcoat, the other hand covering the edge of the countertop with the familiar ease of having suffered many injuries at its points.
Lucanis doesn't dare move. The spell of the moment would be broken faster than a splinter takes to skin. Spite runs across all four walls and the ceiling like a rabid cat.
"Never thought I'd see this place again," she admits, quietly. "Funny. I always hated it here. That I could never dream to live anywhere better. That this rancid, abandoned nest covered in birdshit was all my life would ever amount to."
The fingers in the fabric of his waistcoat pat gently against his small back as she collects herself with a deep, steadying breath.
"If you miss it that much," Lucanis starts, slowly. He holds himself so taut he can feel her brows pull together, even through his shirt. "You can always come back. A hideout from the hideout."
He moves to meet her gaze when he can feel her move to look up at him.
"Are you coming, too?"
"If you lead, I will follow."
Spite hurls curses at him in languages Lucanis never heard in his life, for reasons he isn't privy to, but it doesn't matter.
Not with the way Rook looks at him, right now.
"I really want to kiss you, Lucanis," she whispers. Her eyes flick up at his, down at his mouth.
"So do I." Spite chokes on the lump Lucanis tries to swallow out of his throat.
"Oh, good."
And then she leans up and does.
It's short, doesn't even last a heartbeat, and somehow it's both the smallest and the biggest thing that ever happened to him.
Her hand settles, surprisingly warm, on his low back. Even Spite is quiet, crouching in the sink with eyes wide as saucers. Rook's palm is still shielding him from the countertop corner.
People kiss like that all the time. Good-morning, good-night, I'm-still-too-sleepy-to-speak, I-just-felt-like-kissing.
It means nothing, and it means everything.
She comes back up for another.
YES. Again. More!
And another.
Her lips are parted now, wrap warm and soft around his.
Or his around hers.
Lucanis isn't sure.
The noise out of her throat, from balancing on her bad knee, rings loud as a chantry bell to him.
He's still holding on to the sweet potato.
Drops it to steady her, hand near her elbow. The sound turns curious, but she leans into the touch. There's renewed strength behind her lips now.
"Maker provide me," Rook huffs when she comes back down. She abandons the countertop corner, her nails slide onto his welt pocket.
When he looks at her lips, somehow there's more glitter on them than before.
"I could get lost in your puppy eyes for the rest of all time."
Lucanis has neither breath nor words.
So he ducks his face down to hers again.
🪶
this is spite
ALSO I PUT MY THESIS INTO THE HANDS OF MY COORDINATOR TODAY IM FINALLY FREE WHEEEEEEEEEE
also idk what first kisses w someone you actually care about are like dont come for me the reason I write like a wattpad preteen is bc when it comes to intimacy i AM the wattpad preteen
@lanafofana what we talked about is coming i promise <3
[~rina]
#rookanis#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#dragonage#dragon age#lucanis my beloved#lucanis x rook#dragon age lucanis#lucanis dragon age#spite dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#antivan crow rook#rook#de riva#rook de riva#de riva rook#veilguard spoilers#rinawrites#rinascreamsaboutbioware
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.. that idea on ghost coming back with his therapist’s contact is brilliant, could we get a pt2 when we do hit him up cuz,,, it’s inevitable and he pulls up in that same motorbike and actually plans a banger date?
Just for you! A part 2! Original post for anyone curious is here.
Also thank you for what I am percieving as patience, I had things to accomplish today. But it gave me time to think about this...
CW: I can't think of any.
You held onto the business card. No real explanation that would satisfy you or anyone who might have asked. And your best friend did ask. Repeatedly.
“You still have the card?” She asked over drinks.
Running your tongue along the inside of your teeth you debate on how to answer.
“Yes,” you reply curtly.
“And have you called the therapist or texted him yet? Do you even know his name?” She followed her questions with a sip of her drink.
“All I know is that when I search up S. Riley I get a few hits about a brother to a home invasion that ended badly a few years ago and nothing else. No one on social media matches him and without his full name or maybe a birthday I can’t find much else about someone that might be him.” Flopping back into the couch you watch your drink slide side to side as you tip your glass.
“You don’t have to call him but you have to make a decision about this soon,” she chides.
“No decision is a decision though.”
She gives you the flattest stare she can muster. Seeing as your best friend is autistic it’s a pretty impressive flat look.
Heaving a sigh you concede the point.
“Fine. I get it. I can’t avoid this forever, what if he finds me at a coffee shop again and asks why I haven’t called? S. Riley sure does seem like a man who doesn’t know how to leave well enough alone.”
“I think you should call and tell the therapist to inform him that you would like to never see him again, but you have this whole ‘attracted to the adventure’ thing going on.” She rolled her eyes.
Aghast at being so well identified, it does not matter that she is your best friend, you fire off a rude gesture at her. She only laughs.
“At least I never have to worry about not realizing I fumbled the woman of my dreams three months late,” you say with a wicked grin.
“It was one time!” Your best friend launches one of the couch pillows at you.
“Twice.”
The purest look of concern crosses her face.
“Twice?” Comes her panicked ask.
“Once at the bar,” she nods, “And then last week at the bookstore.”
Watching her eyes go wide and her mouth drops open you can’t help the full-body laugh that overtakes you.
“I thought she was just being nice!” Her voice gets squeakier with each word.
You are laughing so hard you can’t breathe.
“I fucking love you and am so glad we are best friends,” you manage to croak out between ab-shredding laughs.
💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠
Your next early day off of work you pop in your headphones and call the number printed on the business card. It sat between your insurance card and your driver’s license. Those two cards didn’t see much action and would keep the business card from disappearing.
“Thank you for calling Healing Sky Therapy, how can I help you?”
“Yes, is Anna Mortz available?”
“For a phone call or an appointment?” The sound of clicking keys bubbles over the line.
“A phone call, I am calling to speak to her about a current patient of hers.”
“Okay, and are you a provider?”
This causes you to pause. Did you really need to explain why or how you were connected to this crazy situation? No. Bare bones it is.
“No, I should be listed as a person who can discuss the care of a patient of hers who goes by S. Riley?”
“Okay,” she drags the word. “It looks like I can drop a call in her schedule in about forty minutes if that would work for you?”
“That would work great, can I give you a callback number?”
“Yes, I can take that when you are ready.”
Finishing up the phone call you grabbed your grocery list and headed out the door. Your phone rang as you were transferring bags from your cart to your trunk. The number looked vaguely familiar and so you answered.
“Hi this is Anna Mortz, I am returning a phone call.”
“Yes, hi Anna. I am the one who called.”
“That was in regards to Simon Riley, right? Let’s go through some information on my end to make sure that we can discuss him first okay?”
“Absolutely,” you slam the trunk closed and return your cart while confirming all of your information.
“So, what questions can I answer for you?” Anna started.
“Let me get settled and I will give you the rundown.” Tossing your purse to the passenger side and locking the door you get situated in your seat. You push a large breath from your lungs and start. “Okay, so this is a weird situation. The long and the short of it is that Simon had been dating a friend of mine several years back and they were not good together. He was being a pushy asshole who refused to let the relationship die and she was codependent to a deeply unhealthy level. My friend asked for help in telling him off once and for all. She tended to cave and give into having sex every time he came by to start a fight. That is where I met Simon.”
Anna made a noise of confirmation. You took it as permission to keep telling your story.
“Nothing more came of that except my friend and I drifted apart, nothing major and not important to the story. I ran into Simon next at my friend’s wedding reception. I don’t know if he showed up to confirm to himself that it was really over or if she actually invited him but,” you paused here eyes tracing the dash of the car parked in front of you. With a slight shake of your head, you focus back on your phone call. “That is neither here nor there. He hit on me that night and I told him basically to fuck off and go to therapy if he wanted a shot at that conversation.”
Puffing your cheeks with air you slowly let it out, you felt like you were explaining a whole crazy situation to the principal.
“He ran into me at a coffee shop close to probably a year later, dropped your card on the table with his number on the back, and insinuated that I would call because I was interested in him.”
“Okay, that is pretty close to the story he told me as well,” Anna speaks with kind authority. “What I can tell you from a clinical standpoint is that Simon struggles with C-PTSD, which is complex post-traumatic stress disorder. This basically means that Simon has been through so many traumatic events at so many points in his life that he has a hard time functioning day to day without it affecting every aspect of his life. I can also tell you that we have been working on him gaining some coping abilities and practicing social skills.”
“Okay, I guess what I am asking is that if I go on a date with him will I end up with a stalker who will end up killing me in the night if I say I don’t want to see him again?” You lay your concerns bare. She’s not your therapist so her judgment worries you a bit less.
“While nothing is guaranteed,” she hedges, “I cannot see that kind of behavior occurring with the progress Simon has made. He has scheduled out appointments weekly for the next three months with me and has even mentioned he is working on some other types of therapy I have recommended to help him process his traumas further. He’s actually doing the work to deal with his issues. I think he is here because he wants to be, you happened to be the trigger.”
Resting your elbow on the steering wheel you leaned your head into your hand.
“Whew, okay. Thank you. That is actually really helpful. How is he about accepting boundaries?”
“He is familiar and comfortable with them in a work context but if you choose to interact with him I know personal boundaries will come up in our sessions. So, I would keep it in mind when interacting with him.”
“Okay, thank you so much Anna this call has been,” a slight pause, “Enlightening. I appreciate your time.”
“Happy to help. Have a good day!”
With that the phone call ends and you stare down at your phone. Flicking open your messaging app you add the contact you saved to it almost a month ago.
<Your therapist seems nice.
Three minutes pass as you watch the screen. It goes black once and you wake it with a tap on the screen.
Tossing it to the passenger side on top of your purse you put the text from your mind. You instead focus on pulling out of your spot. Parking lots are of the devil and you aren’t even religious like that.
Five days pass before a message dings on your phone from one S. Riley.
>Can’t say she is nice to me. I get a lot of mean looks from her.
Setting a timer for an hour and thirteen minutes you let the text simmer. You hope he can see that you have opened the message.
<You normally take a work week to respond?
>Only when I am on a job.
The reply comes in instantly.
<What kind of jobs keep you from your phone?
>Classified.
<Ooh big brain work then. Got it.
You snort at the eye roll emoji he sends.
>So, have you decided if I can hit you up yet?
<I’m thinking about it. If I were to say yes, where would you take me?
>Indoor sky diving.
You read the three-word message at least six times, check out the closest indoor sky diving place near you, and then finally reply.
Starting and erasing three messages you finally settle on one.
<Would we ride your bike there?
>Unless you would prefer to talk on the drive over?
What do you talk about with a man when you had to check with his therapist that he wouldn’t murder you?
<Bike sounds like fun.
>Saturday?
<Maybe. Time?
>2
<Done. Pick me up at noon and we can grab lunch?
>No, you’re going to want an empty stomach. Dinner instead.
Narrowing your eyes at the message you debate the logic of testing a boundary yet. The advice to not have a full stomach did look like a good one.
<Fine, but nowhere fancy. If I can’t roll up in the same outfit I don’t want it.
The only reply you get for several hours is a thumbs up on your message.
Guess you had a date coming up.
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i miss you (Park Jihyo x Reader)
Angst with happy ending , smut
Was going to post this yesterday but I got sick again (or well I got worse after I felt better) but here we are! That being said I wrote this in a sick ish blur so if it’s not good I’m so sorry it was a fever dream writing it.
Your girlfriend Jihyo wasn’t always distant, even with her busy schedule of performances and recordings she still found a way to make time for you, more time than she had probably but then her solo debut came around and that changed.
Missed texts, calls, dinners, pretty much everything was met with a “I’m sorry baby, practice is running late”. She left the house before you woke up, and got home after you were in bed most days, though she was attentive and caring the few times you see each other, constant affection as usual.
Tonight was no different than the last how ever many, it was seven in the evening and you had cooked dinner for the two of you as she had promised she would be home in time and she was so stressed, it’s the least you can do for the love of your life.
Of course you trusted her words when she said she’d be on time, even if that was the naive thing to do, but now she was an hour late than she agreed to and you were sat on your couch drinking the wine that was meant for dinner. Then you get a phone call.
*Incoming call*
Hyo❤️🔥
You sit up fast, placing your wine glass on the coffee table before answering.
“Hyo, is everything okay?” You answer, “where are you?”
“Hey baby.” She starts, you can tell it’s not good news from her tone, the way she putting fake happiness in her voice.
“You’re not coming, are you?”, Disappointments laced every one of your words.
“I’m sorry love, they want to extend rehearsal for a couple hours.” You can hear the guilt seeping into her apology, “I have to stay since it’s you know my song, so I’ll have to miss dinner and I’ll be back late.”
You let out an amused huff, figures, how could you think tonight was any different than usual.
“Right.” You pause, looking at the made dinner on the table that is now cold and her wine glass that is still full, a couple candles scattered around, flowers sitting in the center waiting to be gifted to Jihyo,tears welling up in your eyes.
“I’m really sor-“
“It’s fine. Really.” Your voice breaks slightly, almost unnoticeable except for the fact that Jihyo knows every little thing about you especially when you’re not okay.
“You don’t sound fine.”
“Jihyo it’s okay, I’ll see you later.”
She knew it wasn’t okay, from your shaky voice to the fact that you called her “Jihyo” instead of “Hyo” or some other sweet pet name but she decided not to push while in front her band members.
“Okay, I love you-“
Jihyo can barely get the words out before you hang up, teary eyed glancing once again at the set dinner table with full plates, the sink with dishes from your couple hours of cooking.
Deciding to leave everything where it is, you head back to the couch and pick the wine glass up once again, sitting there until your girlfriend got home which was about three hours later.
You hear the door unlock and close, her keys being thrown onto the table by the door, and her heavy bag hitting the floor before she walks into the living room you’re in. She finds you sitting, watching some movie or more so dissociating while staring at the screen, empty wine glass in hand with the bottle on the table not empty but close to it.
“Baby..” she says, it’s quiet like she’s scared.
You don’t answer you just look at her, eyes watery and red from crying, tears stained your shirt.
“I’m so sorry I’m late.”
No answer again.
“Let me make it up to you.”
The only noise you make is a little chuckle, a familiar promise of her making it up to you that she has been making for weeks but never followed through.
“Did you eat?” She asks, quieter than before if possible.
“Does it look like I did?” You bitterly ask while waving your hand at the dinner table in the other room.
Jihyo’s eyes follow your hand, seeing the full untouched plates with a full wine glass, then she see the flowers and candles which causes her eyes to fill with guilty tears.
“Oh..” it comes out as a choked whisper, “I’m so sorry.” She finally walks over to you, getting on her knees in front of you and placing her hands on your knees, “I really wanted to be here, but rehearsal-“
She can’t finish her sentence before you’re pushing her hands off of you and standing up to go into the dining room.
“Can you stop making excuses Jihyo?” It comes out louder than expected, as you speak you start picking up the plates to throw the food away but she puts a hand on your wrist before you can get to the trash can.
“Don’t throw it out.”
“Really? You’re going to eat the dinner I made 5 hours ago? now?”
“Maybe, if it makes you feel better.” Jihyo can feel herself getting irritated after the long day of rehearsal, she knows she shouldn’t be seeing as she’s the one hurting you.
“I don’t think it will.” Before you throw the plates in the trash, admittedly harder than necessary, the both of them shattering when they land.
“Hey! can we just talk? Instead of throwing things” she says exasperated at the new angry behavior of yours.
“Jihyo, I’ve been wanting to talk. For weeks. And you were nowhere to be found.”
“I’ve been here every night.”
“Yeah when I’m already asleep. And then you leave before I even wake up. When should I talk to you during those times? Huh?”
“Baby you know how my job is, the schedules-“
“Yeah i do. And I know i agreed to dealing with it but… I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“You do know me, I’m the same person as I’ve always been.”
“No, Jihyo, you’re not.” A pause. “When’s the last time we went on a date?” Tears filled your eyes again.
“I-I don’t know, a week ago?” She stuttered, taken aback by the sudden questioning.
“3. 3 weeks ago. When’s the last time you ate a dinner I made you while it was still hot?”
“I- I don’t know.” She looks at the ground in shame.
“Exactly.” You try walking to the door.
“W-“
“No. I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore.” Turning back to face her.
“Please, baby. Let’s talk about this.” She goes to grab your hands which you quickly pull away as you walk in the other direction, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“Go ahead. You have 5 minutes.”
“Wh- are you serious? 5 minutes?“ The shock leaves her face as she sees the serious look on your face, “I know I’ve been distant, and truly I am so sorry. I know my job isn’t an excuse but you have to understand I can’t exactly say no to staying longer or canceling schedules.”
“That’s not ev- the problem is that when you don’t have a schedule you’re nowhere to be found.”
“Because I’m tired, y/n. It’s exhausting sometimes to do what I do.”
“Too tired for me?”
“That’s not what i meant.”
There’s silence as you look as her, contemplating your next words.
“Maybe we should break up.”
“Wh- what? N-no.” Panic fills Jihyo as you speak, nausea taking over her body.
“Hyo, I don’t know if I can do this anymore, barely seeing you when you have a comeback and when you don’t, you’re on tour.”
“But-“
“You’re losing me Jihyo. You being gone all the time, it hurts. I just want you to be around more but you can’t do that.”
“I’ll do better. I’ll make them cancel some rehearsal days, bring you on tour with me, anything. I mean I’ll even take a hiatus.”
“You’d do that?”
“If it meant keeping you.” She was genuine, in all the years you’d known her you had grown to distinguish when she wasn’t being truthful, “Please, give me another chance.” She grabs your hands, this time slowly but you don’t pull away this time which ignites a hope in Jihyo.
“Fine. Maybe not a hiatus but-“
She cuts you off with a kiss, hands going to your face, it was soft and sweet, her love being translated through it.
“I love you.” Her eyes staring into yours, hands still on your cheeks, “I’ll do better. As a matter of fact, I’m going take tomorrow off.”
“Can you even do that?” You ask shocked, but a smile returns to your face.
“I mean, I am the idol, what are they gonna do without me? And they can’t fire me, I’m too valuable.”
You push her away playfully at the last part but she’s quick to grab your hands and pull you into her.
“How can i make it up to you?”
“Well, in general a lot, but just tonight? You can start by doing the dishes and then maybe joining me in the bedroom?” Your eyes are mischievous and suggestive as you look at her.
“Can’t we just skip to the bedroom part?” She pouts as she looks at the dishes in the sink and on the stove from the day.
“If you don’t do them, there will be no bedroom part.” You answer as she push her off you and towards the sink.
“Come onnnn”
You keep walking as she pouts heading to your shared room, deciding on skin care and changing to waste the time.
As you’re standing in front of your dresser, only wearing a pair of sweatpants, a voice from behind you appears.
“I think putting on clothes is kinda pointless.” Jihyo rasps out, as you meet her eyes in the mirror on your dresser they’re dark with blown pupils and staring directly at your bare chest.
“I have eyes you know.” At which she shifts her gaze up to make eye contact, a playful smirk on her face. But you do slide your sweatpants off onto the floor causing your girlfriend to smile.
“And I love those too.” She says walking behind you to wrap her arms around your waist, head on your shoulder with her mouth next to your ear, “but.. I’ve just missed touching you so much.” You feel her lips press into your neck and leaving a few marks as her hands glide up to squeeze your chest, fingers pinching your nipples, lips moving down to your shoulder before making eye contact with you, “Why don’t you go lay down for me pretty girl?” A soft dominance wafting off of her, you of course follow her orders immediately laying on the bed and spreading your legs slightly to show the growing wet spot on your underwear. Jihyo just stands at the end of the bed, staring at you with her lower lip between her teeth, eyes slowly moving from your face down your body almost lost in the sight of you, a minute passes before you speak.
“…Hyo?”
“Hm.”
“Are you going to stop staring and join me or?”
A blush spreads across her face before a smirk takes over.
“Sorry for admiring my absolutely gorgeous girlfriend.” She teases as she finally gets on the bed and climbs up to hover over you, hers eyes shining with love and once again staring you down as she studied your face for the millionth time in your relationship. You try interrupting her stares by leaning in to kiss her but she playfully pulls away, “I’m not done looking.” A hand goes to rest on your cheek.
“Hyo, I love you so much, but if you don’t touch me after today then I’m making you sleep outside.”
“Going to kick me out of my own house that I pay for?” She smiles but that goes away when she sees the quirk of your eyebrow that tells her you’re dead serious, causing her to capture your lips in a passionate kiss her tongue swiping at your lips begging to be let in which you part your lips letting her tangle her tongue with yours before pulling away and biting your bottom lip bring it with her before letting it go saliva still connecting you and looking at you, eyes darker than before.
She moves her lips to your jaw leaving light kisses, moving to your neck where she starts leaving marks. One hand squeezing your thigh, the other sliding from your hip to your chest.
“Hyo.” You whimper out.
“I know baby, let me take care of you.”
The kisses and marks move down to your collarbones and chest, she wraps her lips around your nipple while her hand attended the other one. After your chest is littered in purple marks and little bites her hand goes to your underwear feeling the wetness and rubbing you through the fabric making you gasp and rut up into her.
“So needy. You’re so wet baby, miss me that bad?”
“Please.”
Her kissing continues down your stomach until she reaches the waistband of your underwear, pulling them down slowly making sure to leave a feathery kiss on every inch of new skin that showed, worshiping your body with her loving kisses. Reaching your knees she finally pulls your underwear all the way down and throws them to the floor, returning to her original place her face hovering over yours and you can feel the light touch of her lips on yours as she speaks again.
“I’m going to use my fingers first so I can see how much you missed me, okay?”
“Whatever you want.”
Her hand that rested on your thigh moved to your center, rubbing small circles at first. Small whimpers come out of your mouth as you close your eyes, truthfully you hadn’t really had sex that wasn’t a quickie in a green room for a performance in weeks so even her light touch had you close to finishing.
“Wait.” You say which causes her to stop and worry, “You know, you’re fully clothed…”
“Uh huh..” she says a smile on her lips, her fingers going back to making small circles on your clit now that she knows you’re not uncomfortable.
“And I am not. I don’t think that’s fair.” You can barely talk as she moves her fingers, but you get out the words even if they’re shaky. You didn’t want to tell her the real reason you wanted her clothes off is because you loved the sight of your nail marks and scratches on her back the next morning, you would trace them with your fingers as she laid down or in the shower.
Jihyo makes a show of sitting up on her heels and pulling her baggy shirt over her head, too slowly you think, her abs showing from her countless hours of rehearsals and her earlier workout. Then she unclips her bra and takes it off just as slowly, she leaves her sweatpants on though as she settles herself back, two fingers immediately going back to where they were but soon slid down to enter you agonizingly slow and were unmoving when fully inside, her thumb working circles on your clit.
“Don’t tease” Your voice is breathless and almost a whimper as you look at her heavy lidded eyes, “please.”
“Anything you want baby.” Her fingers move inside you as she speaks, the pace going from 0-100 almost instantly, after all she did promise to make up for her behavior so who was she to deny you, your playful threat of leaving her in the driveway for the night for not listening to you still present in her mind.
“Fuck.”
“Feel good pretty girl?” Her lips brush on your ear, and her warm breath causes shivers down your spine.
“So good.” It’s more of a whine than actual words.
The feeling of her fingers inside of you is dizzying, vision a bit blurred, all of your thoughts consumed by her.
“You’re doing so good. Taking my fingers so well.”
The words alone makes you tighten around her, wetness dripping onto the sheet below. You thought you were already close but then she angles her fingers up just right and it feels like you’re on fire, you hands grip her back nails digging into her skin dragging down to her waist where you pull her closer to you if possible.
“I’m so close.”
“Let go baby. You deserve it.” She whispers before kissing you but pulls away as you reach your orgasm, she just can’t miss the noises you make for her.
Your vision is white as you reach your peak, back arching off the bed and into your girlfriend’s chest, nails digging into her skin again as you moan loud enough for the whole world to hear. Jihyo’s fingers don’t stop moving inside you until you whine and put your hand on her wrist. You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until she speaks again.
“Breathe baby.” A light chuckle falling from her lips while she strokes your cheek with her thumb, “are you okay?”
“More than okay.”
“Does that mean you forgive me?”
“Actually I think you might have to do a redo on that apology.”
“Oh yeah?” Jihyo’s eyes shined as she looked down at you
“Mm.”
“I think I can do that.” Before she retreats underneath the blanket with her head between your thighs.
She ended up apologizing about 3 more times that night before you were satisfied, but Jihyo didn’t mind as long as she had her girl.
#kpop imagines#twice jihyo#twice x reader#twice#twice imagines#twice x fem reader#jihyo x reader#park jihyo x reader#jihyo imagines#jihyo smut#park jihyo#park jihyo smut#park jihyo x fem reader
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H-hey mootie
So it’s my birthday this week
So if you would make a blurb about drider!Miguel killing readers shitty husband then fucking her 🕷️
I would love it 🥺🥺🥺
Yes it’s Halloweeny that’s cause I didn’t have the energy to write it myself no matter the word count or format I know you can do it Justice!! Love ya!!
YES U CAN MY WONDERFUL MOOT. 🎉🎂 Dedicated to the amazing moot 🖤 HAPPY BIRTHDAY ILYYY 🕸️🕷️ @cullen-rutherford-wifey
Huge thanks to my moot adqui for the Spanish translation help, and to @politemenacephd for the inspiration and their flawless Drider!Miguel smut in Arachnophilia that helped me a ton with this fic. 🖤
can I be him
CW: MINORS DNI, X FEM!READER, MONSTERFUCKING, SMUT, P IN V, LOTS OF CUM, NIPPLE PLAY, LIGHT BONDAGE, SPIT, BREEDING, CREAMPIE, ANAL PLAY(idk if that's what it's called) EDGING, DRIDER!MIGUEL, ANGST, MUTUAL PINING, SLIGHTLY STALKER ISH BEHAVIOR, GRAPHIC BLOOD AND VIOLENCE, DOMESTIC DISPUTE, YOU HAVE A SHITTY HUSBAND, MURDER, INFIDELITY, A DARKER PIECE PLS PLSSSSS MIND THE WARNINGS.
Words 6.1k
Miguel shouldn't be doing this. But he can't help it. It was wrong to watch you like this. To want you like this.
The warm glow cast by the screen floating in front of him softened his chiseled features as he gazed longingly at you through the portal of dimensions that kept you apart.
A gorgeous, living variant of his own version of you that he could not save. The only one out of thousands he had come across. And believe that when he first lost you, his unfathomable grief kept him searching, scouring, waiting, hoping for months that there was one more universe out there where death didn't rip you away.
And the first he discovered just had to be one where you belonged to someone else.
Dated for almost five years now. Married for going on three. And the kicker was that bastard didn't even deserve you.
The multiverse was cruel. In every other reality, tragedy irrevocably tainted the legacy of Miguel O'Hara.
Always so close, and yet, never finding peace in any set of cards he was coldly dealt.
In this particular dimension he was watching you from, he was a mutant with his top half being that of a man and the lower half, that of a spider. A large abdomen adorned in fuzzy black hair with eight enormous thick legs like a tarantula and venomous fangs, irises of bleeding crimson to match. He was a drider. A monster, as far as he was concerned.
But there were times when he'd watch you that he'd allow himself to be crazy enough to dream that you could love someone like him.
At least in his mind he wasn't chained back by his fears and insecurities. At least for now in the sanctity of his office, your shitty husband didn't exist and you weren't lightyears away in an opposite plane of reality. You could be free to be all his, monstrous features be damned.
A version of you loved him once, would it really be all that far fetched to think you could possibly learn to love him again?
---
Another long day ended. You exhaled a weary sigh as you left the cold of late fall that was descending quickly into winter in the icy world behind you. Closing the door to your house that seldom felt like home these days.
You supposed your life was okay, but still you wouldn't have chosen it had you known this feeling of monotony would haunt you everywhere you went.
From your job, to sometimes family, but most of all your marriage. Nearly all your life, you felt out of place, but never quite like this. You supposed it started as early as nine months into your relationship with your now husband.
When he stopped buying flowers, when his texts became fewer, hours at work became longer, his patience shorter. You chalked it up to the unpredictable ebbs and flows of love.
"Love isn't perfect. Not all rainbows and butterflies," you were told time and time again.
When your husband wanted to, he could be great. When he was bad, he could be exceptionally worse. But how could you be so sure? With practically nothing to compare it to, you supposed this was simply the path that was carved out for you. Mediocrity may be disappointing but passion alone couldn't keep a roof over your head. Stability was still a wiser thing to choose than comfortability.
Even so, on the eve of your birthday, the empty spot next to you in bed that you slowly became accustomed to delivered that sharp reminder of just how lonely you really were.
Tears fell and seeking solace, you shamelessly indulged and allowed your mind to visualize him. That mystery man from afar who haunted your dreams and took up permanent residence in your mind with his bewitching crimson eyes. Sometime around when you suspected the love your husband once had for you had all but ceased.
You don't know why, but this being seemed to call for you, seemed to speak to you. To that forgotten part inside that for the life you couldn't explain why it remained empty.
It was almost like a cosmic bond to him, an adept yearning. An invisible lining etched into your very being that somehow recalled him in a different life. That gorgeous face without a name.
Miguel.
----
Miguel stirs awake, realizing he was a victim of sleep while watching you. His attention is called immediately to a growing spat between you and your husband.
"I asked a simple fucking question, John. Where. were. you."
"And I GAVE YOU A SIMPLE FUCKING ANSWER. Don't. fucking. worry. about. it."
Miguel sits up, high on alert, spider senses kicking in. Something about John's tone this time was highly unsettling.
"You know what, I've lost count by now, John..." You flung your hands in the air, weary, defeated and broken down by the endless disappointment, tear soaked trails running from your eyes that hadn't stopped since last night. "But of all the days out of the year...you just couldn't keep it in your pants on my fucking birthday..."
"Do you fucking hear yourself??" John screamed. "Nobody said anything about cheating! Where in this entire conversation has there ever even a hint about cheating? I'll fucking tell you: NONE." He points an accusatory finger. "You brought this all on yourself, not me!"
"It was Carla again, wasn't it." You nodded with a tearful sob, pacing around the living room. "Carla, fucking, Carla..."
Maybe fixing these pillows could distract you from the agonizing realization that you were reliving the nightmare of John's infidelity. Going on three for three when you thought the first and second time he had learned enough.
"I didn't sleep with goddamn Carla!!" John grabs a mug and hurls it at the wall.
That's it. Miguel draws a portal immediately. His yearning had reached a breaking point, and this fight was all the push he needed to come to shove. Miguel O'Hara normally obeyed the rules, but this version of him was unlike the others.
No rule was above being broken when it came to the lengths he would go for you.
"Real fucking mature, John. What are you gonna do huh? Gonna hit me, choke me?? Maybe then you'll actually be half the man you think you are!"
"Ohhh you fucking little..."
But before the worst can happen, an otherworldly threat makes itself known with a random buzzing orange window opening, allowing an enormous half man, half spider through.
You and your husband scream in horror, your conflict between you temporarily forgotten.
"Shit shit SHITTTT!!! WHAT THE FUCK!! John what's happening??"
"I don't fucking know..." John mumbles in disbelief, flinching as Miguel's long legs pound on the hardwood floor, echoing under his formidable size. His eyes appeared menacing, deeply laced with venomous dislike as he glowered at John, but seemed to soften, if not only for just a fleeting moment when they landed on you.
"If...if we both don’t get out of this. I need to tell you something" John mumbles almost incoherently as your fingers dug into his arm.
"W-what?" You turn to look at John, at this face that housed a soul inside it that you once knew but no longer recognized. Almost wordlessly appealing to whatever final shred of respect he had left inside for you as a last ditch effort to give you some semblance of the man you once loved.
"I ruined everything. Your sister and I fucked. Just know, I'm sorry..."
And before you could even have a moment to compute that final godforsaken dagger he had the nerve to drive into your heart, he shoved you in the way of the monster like a piece of meat so he could save his cowardly ass.
"JOHN!" the sound was wretched and broken. Devasted by betrayal. You shrieked in fear and brought your arms over your head, prepared to absorb whatever immense pain was about to wrack your whole body, praying frantically for a quick death.
But, you gasped in alarm when no such fate arrived and Miguel charged headfirst at your fleeing coward of a husband, pinning him to a wall as nearby photographs came down with crash of splintering glass.
His head hit the wall with a deafening crack, a dark pool of maroon beginning to leak from behind him and drip out of his nose.
He yelled but the sound was quickly muffled as Miguel's calloused hands wrapped around his throat, a couple trails of blood oozing down his fist.
"B-babe....aacghkk...please m'ergh sorry, I'm..." John tried to choke out, his teeth now coated in sheer red from where he bit his tongue, quiet trickles audible as the blood from his head seeped onto the floor underneath him.
Miguel was only moments away from crushing his windpipe, but he untensed his jaw when he heard you trying to catch your breath on the floor. He turned, taking note of how helpless and fearful you looked.
Though it would have given him immense pleasure to pull the plug, he had to think of you first.
"Do you mind?" He merely asks, his eyes cold as his fingers tightened just a bit.
"P-please..." John croaks. "Please...Babe..."
You're still reeling from anger that was slowly turning to anguish. As you looked at John, for the first time you felt nothing. It only took years and him nearly sacrificing you before himself for you to wake up and realize the sorry shell of a man he had turned into.
"Goodbye, John." You uttered like venom and turned away as you heard the sickening crackle and then wet sound of choking blood as Miguel snapped John's neck in half.
----
"You okay?"
"Fine."
Miguel could tell you were lying. After swiftly disposing of the body in a different dimension and washing up, he had came back to discover you hadn't moved an inch from your spot on the floor. Your numbness kept you anchored, gazing into the haunting abyss of the blood spatter that remained on the wall.
"Hey, easy now. " Miguel murmured as you finally began to stand up.
"I can handle my own, thanks."
"Of course, I mean..." He clears his throat, stomach uneasy when you became short with him. "Sorry."
You two sat opposite each other in the living room with you and on the couch and Miguel on the floor as that was the only space that could accommodate him.
Sometime during the seemingly infinite silence, you realized all of this bullshit your now dead ex managed to put you through in his final hours on earth made you profoundly indifferent to the fact a literal drider broke into your home.
"Who are you?" You ask at last. "And why didn't you kill me too?"
Miguel looks at you quickly, glad the empty silence was broken at last. "My name is Miguel." He looks down, shame in his expression. "And I, well.."
He doesn't think he should divulge all of his secrets yet. Surviving near death by drider and having your husband's cheating revealed shortly before his untimely death was more than enough burden to bear.
"I'm not from around here."
"I gathered that." Your eyes rake over his enormous form. You should be beside yourself. This man creature just killed your husband after all. But something about his voice was calming. Oddly soothing. Dare you say it was, rather attractive?
"So what are you, half spider?"
For the first time, an inkling of amusement shows on his face. "What, did my eight legs give it away?"
"Just a little." You hum, bringing your knees to your chest as you allowed yourself to relax.
"You know, you're...eerily calm about all of this."
"Heh...I know. Guess I kind of feel like I'm still asleep and I'm gonna wake up any minute."
"Wanna test that theory?" Miguel quirks a brow.
You pinch yourself while keeping your deadpan stare, holding it for a moment as if it would do anything. "Nope."
"Wow." Miguel says sarcastically to which you can't help but snicker. "So, do weird occurrences like this happen to you often? Still doesn't explain why you're not completely hysterical about all this."
"I watch the news." You shrug. "Crazy shit happens in New York all the time. What with Spider-Man being a thing and all. Just a step above normal, I'd say."
"Ah." It made sense. Miguel should've known your dimension had its own spider. A little bit of relief washed over him. At least this made things a bit less messy on his end. He falls silent again, stealing little glances of you now and then.
You were fucking ethereal in person. Being this close was something he only dreamed about. Now that it was happening in real time, he was wracking his mind desperately for ideas on how to drag it out as long as he could.
"So if I may: how'd you become half spider?" You ask the hard question at last.
Miguel raises his eyebrows, somewhat relieved you took the first leap. He proceeds to tell you about his lab accident, and how he became spliced with spider DNA.
He tells you about the multiverse, and how there are many versions of him out there with the same story, but his cursed him with the lower half of a mutant unlike most.
"So, if there's a whole multiverse out there, are there multiple versions of myself too?" You lean your chin on your hand like a curious pupil.
Miguel nods stiffly, trying to disguise the weight of the information he held. "Yeah. "
You go silent again, then you ask, "Did you know me in your own universe?"
Miguel's heart pangs subtly at the reminder. "Yeah, I did..." He looks away from you but you can't help but continue to stare at him.
He really was so pleasant to look at. That brown, wavy hair that curled just slightly at the ends you could only imagine would run like silk between your fingers, eyes a hue of red that couldn't be replicated anywhere except the deep center of the rarest rose, lulling voice that dripped from those full lips. This formidableness about him that crumbled into gentleness only when it came to you did absolutely nothing but pull you closer to him.
For the first time, those unconnected dots in that unanswered part of you in your dreams might be falling into place.
"Was I quite close to you?" Your heart steadily begins to pick up.
Miguel shook under his desire to just let the facade fall away and pull you into his arms. But he remained still as he looked back at you, silent plea from behind his words that was only articulated in those eyes that put bleeding sunsets to shame.
"You meant the world to me."
The pieces coming together prompted these strong emotions you weren't expecting, coming out in broken tears. "So that's why you found me..." You shook your head.
Miguel's heart tugs outside of his chest. He stands up, drawing closer, then his legs folded as he leaned in to where you sat on the couch. When you didn't pull away, he got the courage to cup your face in both his hands, gently wiping the wetness away.
"Why didn't you come get me sooner?" It clicks at that very moment. That tender gaze that graced you now could not belong to anyone other than your starcrossed beloved who visited every time you closed your eyes.
"I wanted to." Miguel must suppress his own tears at this point. Oh how he wanted to, how he ached to.
"Believe me, I really did, mi vida.."
His term of endearment for you just encourages you to liquify under his touch even more. "But why didn't you?? I was so miserable. I waited for you. I thought you weren't real. Thought you were never coming..."
"I know, I know." Miguel closed his eyes when your foreheads met at last. This feeling of touching you for the first time elated him, shedded him of his internal torment. He felt like he was soaring.
"You were married and I was..." He sighs deeply, pulling away just a little, "I was... well, me."
"What do you mean by that?" You furrow your brows, your heart panged by hurt, trying to understand why. Why he deprived himself of this thing you both clearly wanted when it was right there.
"Nobody as beautiful as you would ever love someone who looks like me.."
A pit falls to the bottom of your stomach and you immediately shake your head. "No...no, that couldn't be further from the truth, Miguel..."
You sit up, leaning in as you took his face in your hands again. His eyes went wide in disbelief. "W-what are you..."
A million chills erupt in Miguel's body that become embers of warmth as your lips touch for the first time. He holds his breath, then sighs. The little break in between the kiss and the low, gentle sound coming from him just encourages you to meet him again, and again.
Your fingers wind their way into his hair and his own hands couldn't do anything but pull you even closer as the kiss deepened under the weight of the burning passion. The longing was set free, a million questions answered that just kept confirming to Miguel over and over that this couldn't be more right. Canon be damned, rules be damned as your lips and your hands became a slow dance of sensual exploration.
"Miguel..."
"Please I-mnghhh..." He pleads then relents immediately as he lets his head roll gently back, allowing you to continue blazing tantalizing trails of kisses all over his neck. Because of the size difference between you both, he scoops you into his arms off the couch. He can't help but indulge the feeling of your body pressed against his, using his grip on your thighs to grind you ever so lightly against his abdomen.
The pressure delivered from the press of his body shoots directly to your core and you shamelessly take that as permission to roll your hips slightly as you straddled him, releasing that first moan into his mouth when your lips came back up from exploring the warmth of his neck.
That delicious little sound you make nearly wrecks him in the best way. Miguel moans equally louder as his kisses dial up in intensity. His teeth begin nipping intermittently as the kiss morphs into a passionate exchange of saliva and collision of lips on lips. The potent venom laced in his fangs pools with the building zeal and it seeps into your mouth, leaving sweet aftertaste whose foreignness only fuels your arousal.
An enormous thud echoes as Miguel falls backwards, but it does absolutely nothing to deter the flame lit under you. You both find a comfortable rhythm as his hands guide your hips as you ride his large spider abdomen while your makeout session riled with fervor. The coarse bristly hairs were a delicious addition to the addicting friction with each slow roll of your body. Miguel's lips fall open and his eyes falter. You relish this feeling of power over him, this enormous drider who all but became a weak weak man when he was underneath you.
You bite your lip as each heavenly movement inspires you to leave all shame at the door and start to put on a show. You card your fingers in your hair, moving it in your eyes in erotic display, groaning as you rolled your head every which way in careless abandon, letting your fingers dip in your mouth, squeezing your breasts.
"Fuckkk me..." Miguel breathes out. "Fuck me, you're so...God, you're so beautiful..." He hands continue to knead the swell of your ass, gritting his teeth as his grip locks down even harder and he feels you humping directly over his slit where his phallus was hardening underneath the ocean of fur to the point of ache.
His hands then move to play with your breasts, your eyes widened when the spot on your hips is quickly replaced with two of his smaller forelegs, one of them teasing the waistband of your pants as his human hands quickly unclasped your bra.
"Miguellll...." You mewl as one of his forelegs holds your hip steady while the other works little circles through your clothed clit, all while you felt his warm, wet tongue flatten and tease your left nipple. All you can do at this point is moan and let him wreck you completely, this pleasure that was smoldering you from all sides.
You gazed down, amazed and aroused to discover that the lower half attached to this beautiful man you were tangled in only fueled the desire, this taboo. Knowing fully well that he was capable of bloodshed, but for now he only wanted to fuck you. You grinded harder against him, answering his soft ministrations of your clit with eager gyrations of your hips.
"Me vas a terminar matando..."(You'll end up killing me) He weakly chuckled, "So, so perfect..."
Miguel is intoxicated by your breasts, circulating and squeezing them together, while his lips dribbled and slobbered as he sucked them both greedily into his mouth in messy alteration.
Soon both round globes were coated in a dripping sheen of his venom, working the thickening syrup in sloppy circles over both nipples that tingled and numbed you so deliciously along with the teasing circles of his thumbs that it made your back arch to the heavens.
He leaned back momentarily to admire his handiwork, lower jaw shiny with a mixture of venom and spit, a steamy yet filthy display of his subtle ownership he now felt over you.
His.
His rightful claim when he snapped your sorry ass excuse of a husband like a twig. Each little noise you made all for him only swelling his pride and confirming his suspicion that the loser couldn't make you cum like he could.
Speaking of cumming, you were damn near close. Miguel doesn't want to be greedy and would love to let his sweet little darling cream and squirt all over his stomach right now, but the thought was more appealing for this first time being on his tongue or, if you were up for it, his drider cock.
"I wanna cum, Miguel, please I wanna cum..." You whined, temporarily losing that sweet spot as he removed his forelegs from their massage on your clit.
"I know baby, I'm gonna make you cum..." He kissed you. "You'll cum for me. Many times, I'll make sure of it..." He panted, moving a finger underneath your chin. "How do you feel about taking my cock?"
The straightforward nature of his question answered itself in the further dampening spot in your panties. "Please...Y-yes pleaseee, Miguel. Want you to fuck me...want you to give me your cock..."
"Yeah?" He groaned, hands slinking all up and down your body, under your clothes, stroking your breasts. "I'll give it to you then, baby...fill you up so good..."
He paused then kissed you deeply once more. "You're gonna have to trust me... We'll have to try something different so this can work..."
You nodded. "I trust you, Miguel."
"Okay..." He whispered. "You're still okay with this?"
"Yes, I'm okay..." You breathed back. "I'm okay, baby. I want you so badly. I'm willing to try anything so you can be so deep inside of me..."
"Fuck, me too..." He groaned back against your lips. "Okay, hold on f'me..."
He set you back down on the couch and you were floored as you watched your beloved turn into an artist, spinning an elaborate web that stretched from floor to ceiling, almost like a swing that was anchored solidly on both sides to the wall.
"Mi vida..." He offers you his hand like a gentleman, helping you up. "Can I?" He whispers as his hands disappear underneath your clothes.
"Yes..."
He strips you carefully and slowly like fine china, letting the anticipation build as every patch of skin slowly became revealed to him.
Somehow letting him undress you, sliding the rest of your panties off and simply letting his eyes roam freely all over your body felt like the most intimate thing you had done all night, even more so as he still remained fully clothed in his top half as he stood back and drunk in the sight of you like wine.
"You're simply stunning, love..."
His hands ghosted low on your hips until they rested on the bare curve of your ass. You jumped and wrapped your thighs around him, Miguel tensed his jaw with a smirk as he kneaded the plump flesh of your ass, hardening again when he felt your bare slick he drew out of your pussy earlier against his stomach.
He nestled you into the makeshift swing that was soft and sticky as the fibers clung to your bare skin in a natural adhesive. He spun more webs around your ankles, opening them slightly.
"Is this still okay?" He asked gently again.
Exhilaration washed over you but you nodded, grinning and easing your legs open in further tease to demonstrate your own building excitement for what was to come. "Yes..."
"Good." His voice went halfway between a groan again at your pretty pussy blossoming like a flower in front of him.
He stood back, eyes cloudy and trained on you as he removed his shirt, letting it fall in a quiet heap to the ground.
You drank him in as well like an offering, moaning audibly when the slit in his fur low on his abdomen opened to reveal a long, thick, hard red cock with pulsating black veins adorning both sides. It curved upwards, and it throbbed, making your mouth water.
This only made the full sight of your monstrous lover even more alluring as he stood before you in all his drider glory, towering over you even now when you were closer to his eye level in your makeshift swing, with your thighs spread and your silky cunt begging to be filled.
He shot a web onto your belly, pulling you in closer while you still sat settled on the swing, giggling as he smirked playfully at you, until just the tip of his cock kissed between your folds.
"Hi there..." You chuckled, tilting your head up, wetting your lips seductively.
He groaned quietly in a stew of lust as he saw your tongue rake over your bottom lip,
"Hello, sweetheart...fucking gorgeous thing, you..."
He gently pinched both sides of your cheeks between his thumb and pointer finger, immediately bringing you into a deep french kiss.
The feeling of his warm tongue sliding in your mouth shot directly down to your cunt, only amping up in electricity as he teased his plump girthy head of his cock all around your pulsing clit.
"Miguel....fuck me..." Your spine arched and your nails dug into his shoulder, aggravating the raging arousal he was simmering for you all over his body. "Don't tease me like this, baby..."
Miguel released a mischievous chuckle that tapered into another one of his low moans that goaded you even deeper into all this pent up frustration you wish he'd take out on your now sopping pussy already.
"Ten paciencia, mi vida, por favor... " (Be patient, my life, please) He cooed sweetly at you, lightly brushing his nose against yours "Gotta get you nice and ready to take me..."
You breath became choked in your lungs when he begins to massage the fat tip directly over your velvety clit, grunting as he felt another drip of arousal leak and coat all along the thick head.
"Besides..." He murmured heavily though soft parted lips, entranced with hooded eyes. "The more I edge you, the more pleasureable it'll be when I finally make you cum all over my cock..."
"Baby, please..." The crescendo of arousal swelled in your belly, making your eyes water. You coaxed your body against him faster, desperate to reach that peak, but your movements were minimal due to the webbing. The feeling of emptiness covered you but was quickly eased when he promptly removed his tip from your clit again, this time dragging it down to your dripping entrance.
"Kiss me..." Miguel murmured and he didn't need to tell you twice. His tongue rolled and rubbed with yours as he began to circle his cock into your wet opening, inch by inch filling you ever so slowly. You gasp into his mouth, realizing this whole time what he was talking about. You felt every rigid vein, every solid groove as his drider cock slowly pushed into you, stretching you beyond comprehension. It was unlike any you've ever taken before. Fuck, it felt better than any you'd ever taken before.
Once you got past the daunting size, the addicting feeling and pleasure of having his cock inside you set off a new chorus of breathy moans from your lips. You sighed deliciously as you greedily accepted everything he was giving you, so transfixed on his divine face that was watching you the entire time.
Miguel was irrevocably smitten, completely enamored with the way your warm silky walls wrapped around him, the way you looked at him with immense rapture. Fuck, this feeling was greater than anything he felt in his entire life as your pussy molded to him like it was made for him. "So tight, cariño..." He teased then hissed as he reached the hilt.
You two gazed at each other, completely silent for what felt like divine eternity. Simply enjoying the feeling of Miguel being buried so deeply inside you.
"I'm gonna start fucking you..." He whispered.
"Go slow at first, baby..." You purred back, clenching your pussy around him, biting your lip when it earned another weak grunt from him. "Wanna feel you nice and deep like this for a bit..."
"Haah...you're a goddamn tease..." Miguel huffed. "I'll try and go slow as long as I can..." The sound that came from him next was downright pathetic as he looked down at where he had you stuffed to the brim, feeling along the emerging bulge in your belly.
"You feel so fucking good, it's hard not to just fucking ravish you right now..."
"Mmm...just kiss me, then..." You murmured and he quickly seized onto that opportunity as he slowly began to pump inside you with lengthy, meaningful thrusts. Every movement was so wet and sloppy with drenched noises as a sea of slick began to drool from your pussy, coating his cock that slid in and out of you with greater ease as the moments passed.
You squeezed your thighs in a death grip around his large waist as you became more hammered off this euphoria, the bristly hairs tickling the sensitive sides along your clit, goading you to grind back into each deep thrust.
"Shit..." And Miguel's patience flew out the door with that lethal squeeze of your thighs, his hands gripped the curve of your ass as he began to completely unload on your needy wet cunt. You cried out as you took every torturous inch like the absolute whore you were for him in this moment.
It tested your limits but God, this feeling of him thoroughly fucking you nice and hard scratched that nagging, primal itch you experienced ever since you first laid eyes on him. You were practically drooling at this point, laying back and taking it, your submission just fueling his fire, unlocking that deep seated urge to fucking breed this perfect cunt for all it was worth, to ruin you and fuck your brains out so you could feel him for weeks.
"Miguel, Miguel, Miguellllll....." The hungry, wispy mantra of his name from your lips nearly set him off the edge alone, a raw possession washing over him completely as he railed his cock into you to new limits.
"You're all mine now, you know that..."
"I'm all yours Miguel...all yours baby..."
He cut you off with another fiery kiss. "Wanna cum inside you, baby, can I?"
"Fffuck yes....yes, Miguel, fill me..."
"I'll fill you up, baby..." His forelegs come up again, but this time one directly rubbing quick, vibrating circles on your clit, while one gently teased and massaged the puckered rim of your ass, all while his heavy slick covered cock continued to pound your pussy. "But you're gonna cum f'me first..."
"Miguel..."
You nearly black out as you see heaven. Miguel locks in, dipping his head down as he swallowed onto your left breast again, tweaking and tugging the nipple of the right, his mouth salivating and more venom dousing and dripping from his tongue, soaking down your already sweaty body.
The web renders you helpless as you have no option but to lay there and let him pleasure you past anything you thought you could handle. It felt like overstimulation as you shook and cowered and whined so loudly it could wake the neighbors.
Your thighs trembled, tears leaking out of the corner of your eyes as you forced yourself to let go. The premature ending of all the previous other treatments he bestowed on your spent pussy piled on top of one another, making this one far more intense and overwhelming than the others. Thick cream oozed lewdly out of you, making a sticky, glossy mess of both your pubes and coating his black fur.
"Cumming, sweetheart..." He panted, dripping sweat all down his reddened face, some of it landing in your mouth but you could care less. Everything about this encounter was so dirty and nasty already. The salacious feeling of consuming every part of one another from head to toe reduced you to nothing but a hole for him to dump his cum in, and you'd let him every time.
"I-love-you...."
And his heavy sweaty shaft and bulbous tip nudged your g spot simultaneously as his foreleg's massage of your swollen clit that your orgasm shuddered and rattled your bones, a new sinful coat of wetness squirting and seeping into Miguel's black fur that he soaked in like a badge of honor.
He forgot to warn you before, but when the coil in his balls finally released and he came inside you, the thick, viscous drider cum was like lava as it spilled and drooled and leaked from your insides. Even after you thought he had emptied, another spurt of a thick rope of cum painted your drenched walls and flooded out of you.
You both merely panted, eyes locked on each other in a display of intimacy of the deepest and most carnal kind, the overwhelming haze of orgasmic bliss made you both speechless. It almost didn't compute that he told you he loved you.
You laid there in your spiderweb tangled underneath your drider lover in the now fully emerged daytime, world outside none the wiser of the steamy, lewd acts that took place. All the more enthralling that this became a love nest built on top of your blood lust and mutual yearning that exploded like gasoline on a fire.
For now, real life could wait as you came back down to Earth and gazed at the flood of slick cum dripping and oozing from both of you. You felt that primal urge kick up again as Miguel smirked, softly stuffing the mess of what he could back inside the pool of glistening white that peeked between your aching folds.
"And I love you too, Miguel.." You whispered back.
All the puzzle pieces of his scattered life fell back into place as he heard those glorious words hit him like a train. He willed this himself. Even if it meant taking you from another dimension, this thread across time, this inevitable bond was now cemented permanently with your lovemaking and the deepest parts of him that were now inside you.
He could deal with all that bullshit later; he had his love back with him where she rightfully belonged.
You both laughed to yourselves as you sauntered down this path of mutual bliss and made a plan to leave all this behind and start a new life with your Drider lover in his reality.
But first...you couldn't help but pull him closer and he couldn't help but groan loudly as he effortlessly slipped inside you again,
"It's you and me against the stars, mi vida..."
And he groaned before rhythmically moving his body in that sinful dance with yours,
"But first I'm gonna prove it by fucking you all over again."
---
#from my trees . ˚ 𖧷 ·𓇥 ° . ♡#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel x reader#spiderman 2099 x reader#miguel x you#miguel o'hara smut#miguel o'hara x fem!reader#cw monsterfucking#tw monsterfucking#cw blood#tw blood#cw murder#tw murder#cw infidelity#cw breeding#cw angst#tw angst#cw violence#tw violence#cw dark content#tw dark content
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Ghostly Companion-- Chapter 3
<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
[Ao3]
So sorry for the wait! My ribs are really tender right now so I took an extra day to avoid moving my arms as much.
This is mostly a lot of introspective word-vomit (and adorable Mr. Crawling!) Have fun and enjoy!
When you woke up the next morning, bleary-eyed and limbs heavy, you didn’t quite register the weight on your stomach until it moved, long strands of hair falling directly onto your face and into your mouth.
“Pff–” You spit out, eyes blinking open to see your brand new companion looking delightful and far too energetic for whatever time in the morning it is.
“Hello!” He greeted happily. “You ∎∎∎!”
“Good morning…” You manage to groan out, gently pushing the brunt of his weight off your chest and watching as he rolls to your side.
You sigh, taking a few spare moments to fully wake up before hauling yourself up, carefully unwinding the gray arms wrapped around your body. Your morning routine was quick, methodical, and you hardly realized when you finished draping your futon on the balcony to air out until you approached your now-empty tatami mats and only saw Mr. Crawling sitting down patiently.
You… weren’t quite sure what to do now. Breakfast, maybe? Do ghosts need breakfast? You don’t recall ever seeing Mr. Crawling eat anything at all during your short amount of time together, but maybe that was because his world was a barren wasteland. You certainly saw other evidence of human-eating ghosts in his world.
Would his behaviors be similar to all those myths and legends– or at least to his fellow ghosts? Getting… human flesh to feed him wouldn’t be easy, if he liked it at all. But, you’d much rather him feast on someone else rather than on your own flesh if your hunch was right. You doubt he’d do much else than nibble at an unimportant limb, but you also never experienced a grumpy Mr. Crawling– or any version of him that wasn’t incessantly pleasant and sweet. He could go crazy, and you, the idiot who housed him and let him cuddle up against your vital organs, would be first in line to his stomach.
That won’t do. You made it out of a near death-match once already. You’re keeping yourself and your lovely prize of a companion safe and happy. Even if it means having to go elbow deep in blood. While somewhat chilling, the thought bringing up those unfortunate memories, you find it easier to think about knowing that the blood would be from someone you don’t even know.
An unimportant stranger. A stupid stranger.
Well, finding a person would still take some time. A part of your mind wanders back to the mountains where numerous people are said to have gone missing throughout the year– something to do with another ghost wearing a raincoat and umbrella. An urban legend, but one that’s pretty widely believed in these parts of the city. You don’t find it to be true– after all, you’ve been stuck there before and came out perfectly fine each and every time, so it must be other peoples’ lack of survival skills that killed them out there.
Which was great, honestly. You’d be able to chalk everything up to a nonexistent being. People wouldn’t bat an eye at a nice, young, and good-looking person such as you wandering around in cute looking clothes and ‘empty’ hands. Harmless. A naive adult who was curious and ‘stuck close to the trails.’ You could do that. Besides, it would only be for a few hours every… few weeks, maybe? You imagine harvesting human flesh to be something like cattle– one body would last a very long amount of time in the deep freezer.
Yeah. That would also fit into your schedule, so it all works out. The tedious part would be just finding a loner you could convince to take a run through the mountains to prove their bravery or some random trait like that.
Well, that part can always come later. For now, it was time to settle your needs.
You were hungry, and so you went off to your kitchen after giving Mr. Crawling a brief pat on the head, digging through your fridge for anything you could make.
Your fridge was still full of fresh foods from a grocery trip taken before your whole descent into that world that shall-not-be-named, and it was almost offensive at how nothing really seemed to care about your disappearance, but you could take it out on the food once it gets on a plate.
You fished out some eggs, rice, and random toppings, combining it into one mixed up bowl and placing it on your floor table as you turned on the television.
A quick offer of a mouthful of your food to Mr. Crawling resulted in his curious face sniffing and staring closely at it before taking the bite– and swallowing it after a few swishes in his mouth. No chewing.
Huh. So, he liked raw eggs?
You got up to grab two more, swiftly taking your seat on the floor cushion and holding one up in front of his face.
He smiled, inspecting it somewhat. “Object eat?” He asks, poking delicately at it.
You nodded. “You want?” You asked, making a move to show him how the egg was part of the stuff he had eaten.
When he nods, you crack the egg against the counter, holding it above his mouth, ready to break it open. He was briefly– and rather adorably– confused at the action, but opened his jaws wide, showcasing rows of razor sharp teeth.
You didn’t need to pass biology class to know that they indicated a very carnivorous diet.
You cracked open the egg, letting it drop into his mouth and watching, with mild repulsion, as he swallowed it whole, looking happy and satisfied as he licked his lips.
Well then– raw eggs would tide him over until an actual meal (if he even needs one). Good to know.
His mouth opened wide once again as you discarded the shell and cracked the second one open, letting it plop into his mouth and go down the hatch.
That was actually kind of fun. A few years ago, you briefly considered getting chickens of your own until you realized just how many eggs a small flock of 3 could produce in a week. Mr. Crawling seems to be an excellent excuse to get some– not after moving out, of course. Well, you doubt anyone here would care if they spot some fluffed up feathers every now and then.
After that brief breakfast, you steeled yourself to continue your normal everyday activities– as if nothing happened.
And you also needed to make an elaborate lie about where you were the past day. You had no doubts that, if you told the truth, you would be shipped off to an institution and have your companion exorcized within the next 24 hours.
___________________________
Your friends, very concerned, simply would not stop asking you questions and berating your decision to split off from the main group– as if they hadn’t dragged you to the bravery challenge against your complaints.
There were 5 people you needed to comfort. And, there will be about 15 people you’ll need to apologize to for your inability to work– paired with the cordial, expensive gifts and handwritten letter to your boss begging not to be fired.
Annoying, annoying, annoying.
You patted Mr. Crawling’s head as you searched up the nearest sales.
At least he was cute. Like a little, loyal puppy. He was so low maintenance outside of his potential human-flesh needs and his desire for attention– which you could most definitely work with. It was nice and relaxing being with him, not having to worry about all the tiny societal rules you had to follow with everyone else. And, now that you were back in your own world, it felt refreshingly nice having someone depend on you instead of it being the other way around.
You had power here. And it was nice.
“You mad?” Mr. Crawling ask, cheek pressed up against your neck as he looked over your shoulder at your laptop screen, fingers flicking through ads and discount codes with sharp tap tap tap’s that indicated your irritated mood.
“Me not mad you,” You mumbled, hand reaching up to play with his hair. It was nice and soft now, your conditioner having worked its magic.
“Humans.” You muttered, not particularly in the mood to elaborate.
“Humans?”
“Mhm,” You hum, gently rubbing soothing circles into his scalp and watching, satisfied, as he leaned more of his weight against you.
So, so cute. You couldn’t get enough of him.
<---- Last Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ---->
[Ao3]
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Hey y'all, here's some more Emerald Duo character headcanon writing. A bit of a throwback since I haven't done this in a while. For anyone not caught up on my weirdly elaborate headcanons/sorta au, I made up a whole 3000 year timeline for the life of c!Philza, and most of it is sad cuz I'm an angst writer :) You don't need to know much about my headcanons for this tho, just go with the flow. Enjoy.
Like The Spring Thaw
The reign of the Antarctic Empire was a turbulent time, not just for Phil and Techno of course, the political conflicts, scarcity, and relentless environment was a constant onslaught against all the people they ruled over.
Philza and Technoblade's friendship was new, at least by an immortals standards. Techno had been so young when they first met, brought together as allies on the grand battlefields of a war neither of them really cared about. Win? Lose? It didn't matter. Techno was there to try to tame the influence of the blood god hidden deep inside his brain. Phil had been fighting to forget at first, to forget what he's lost, the home, the community, the friends. But nothing builds a bond like fighting for the same cause. Techno gave him something to fight to protect again, after all those years of not having time to take anyone under his wing. So once the war ended the two decided to try to bring peace to a divided world full of conflict.
They had their laughs, taking over the whole world via a bureaucratic loophole, yeah people got pretty pissed at them for that. But something about having a group of people to take care of again helped Phil fix some broken part of himself he left to fester years ago. He was still, and would surely forever be haunted by the memory of his long and winding path in life. The screams of those who had taken shelter in his temple as it was raided became a echo forever reverberating through his head as he slept. But now, instead of nearly being smothered in his sleep by his fellow soldiers, furious at his habit of giving away their position, there was a gentle knock at his door, a friend who's head was filled with much the same noise there to make him a tea and chat away the nightmares.
That castle became home. Sure he was forced to maintain a persona faker then any he'd worn before and the cold and exposed machinery made binding his wings out of the way a must, but they lived a life of plenty. Phil began to enjoy the cold, at home above the layers of ice and frost. Eventually, it became easy to ignore the small and inconvenient plights of his people. Without even knowing it he became the kind of ruler he swore he'd always hate. The apathetic king who saw violent gangs of thieves roaming the countryside as a non-issue. The monarch filled with so much hatred they allowed two armies to needlessly fight for decades. With a uncharacteristic lack of his usual foresight he was among those tyrants now, and so when reports came from the fishermen on the outskirts of the empire that a deadly plague was whipping out every man, woman, and child, the duel emperors brushed it off as yet another mild health issue. Just like the last illness, nothing to worry about.
And in the blink of an eye it was all over. Him and Techno watched in horror over the course of a handful of weeks as the treatments they knew had no effect on this illness. Their advisors locked them away in the castle, hoping to protect them but it only made the helplessness worse. Their doctors, nurses, midwives, wise-folk, and scientists dropped like flies. As they made the decree that all must evacuate the death-cursed city it seemed less were alive to hear it by the minute. All supply lines and social structure broke down, their empire fell to ruin while their backs were turned.
Him and Techno evacuated. Like cowards.
They were hated for a time, scorned for their inability to save their people. But not nearly long enough for Phil. At times he felt the need to remind people, even as generations passed. How could death on such a scale be forgotten? He had truly become what he hated all along, not even brave enough to fight back on others behalf. His lady was his world, but it pained him to know he had become the omen of death that he had been accused of being. Techno didn't speak much anymore, but he knew that similar feelings must be bubbling up for him as well. The two were more similar then they cared to admit.
Soon Techno was on the road again, Phil settled into a cottage all his own, but it was far too lonely. He began to feel better day by day, year by year. He laughed to himself when his crows once filled with wanderlust returned home with stories of the fearsome warrior of the blood god who opposed governments of any kind. It seemed Techno had taken a far more proactive approach to the beliefs he too had felt solidify after their great failure. He hoped the memories didn't haunt his old friend like they did to him. He did nothing with the pain though, no actions of great conviction, which he knew would make it worse in time. But his cruelty had been transformed back into the compassion he had been missing all these years along the way. With it, he felt any remaining pride he had for his days of leadership fade. The days he spent alone filled his old soul with the soft and tender warmth of a hearth fire. It was time to move on, he had sought out those who hated him for long enough. At the very least it was time to unbind his wings. It was time to fly again.
#mcyt#dream smp#dsmp#philza#technoblade#emduo#emerald duo#emduo angst#emerald duo angst#dsmp headcanons#philza headcanons#dsmp writing#c!philza#c!Techno#c!philza character analysis#dsmp philza#dsmp techno#the antarctic empire#technoblade and philza#long post#angst#unapologetically angsty
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@theroundbartable here you go! Your Sick Fic 2.0
Better Together (I wouldn't leave you even if you wanted me to)
Camelot was calm and peaceful; the air was a little cooler, the grass moved a little slower, and the sun shone just enough, so laying in the gardens was like another world. At least for Merlin, it was like an escape from the rush and hurry of the court, where he had been officiated as the Court Sorcerer, just over two years ago. And those two years felt like a century, another weight on his shoulders after one had just been lifted.
It was not easy, though Merlin had learnt this after the years by Arthur’s side; the weight of the decisions he had to make, the people he had to consider and the overshadowing look of his father. A painting of Uther had been hung in the meeting room after he passed away a year before the magic ban was lifted, but the harsh strokes depicting the judgement in his eyes, became something that watched Arthur’s decisions, as if he were still there, unsure of Arthur’s worth. The first time Merlin saw it, was when Arthur officially lifted the ban and Uther watched, waiting for the next mistake. Lord forbid Merlin was a worse person, he would have taken a dagger and ripped the painting, from corner to corner. He was better than that. Maybe. He wouldn’t have disagreed if someone had accused him of thinking it - he thought it every time he walked into the room, staring Uther down as if he would come back to life.
Even though Merlin’s duties were extremely different to Arthur’s, there was a certain comfort in knowing that someone understood the pains of court life. Even if it was a surprise to every person who lived in Camelot, it’s not every day you find out that the King’s manservant is the greatest sorcerer ever to live, a dragonlord and would much rather you call him a warlock because he isn’t a sorcerer since he is actually magic itself. Many people fainted that day. Many more people did not believe him. But to Merlin’s surprise, Arthur did not doubt his words and instead asked what he would like done. And also asked if Merlin could do something about the horrid headache he’d been having for the past 4 weeks and as quickly as he could, after all, he was a very powerful sorcerer, and instead got a gorgeous rose placed in his palm. No, it’s not every day that things like that happened, or at least, until the ban had been lifted. Once that happened, flowers bloomed every day and Arthur’s headaches? Well, he wouldn’t tell Merlin about it, in case he worried too much.
“Merlin! What are you doing laying in the garden, with your crown on?!” Merlin was gifted a circlet from the Druid people - two silver dragons curling around his head - it was quite comfy and nothing like the horrid thing that Arthur had to wear. If only he knew the pleasures of not wearing gold on his head during every meeting, he would definitely be a calmer and kinder person. And of course, if Arthur could remember the name of the circlet, the world would flip on its side.
Turning onto his stomach, and holding himself up with his elbows, Merlin saw Arthur, watching him from the balcony, “Taking a well-deserved break from whatever was going on in there! And my circlet is quite comfortable on my head, thank you very much!”
If Merlin had started kicking his feet, Arthur would have combusted, right then and there, whether it be from the extreme amount of cuteness that Merlin threw into the air, the exasperation of Merlin leaving his duties or a little tinge of jealousy; Arthur would never tell. At least, he liked to assume he wouldn’t tell, something about the little smile on his face gave him away.
“If you don’t get back into this throne room this instant, that crown won’t be on your head much longer,” crossing his arms, Arthur stares down at Merlin, cocking an eyebrow and trying his hardest to put on a serious face. It doesn’t really work. It never did when Merlin was involved.
Standing up and stretching, Merlin turns his head to the side, with a twinkle in his eye, “Oh? What will you do? Try it on, maybe? It’s so much better than the preposterous slab of gold you have.”
“I think I’ll ask Gwen to turn it into a paperweight, or maybe a pitcher to replace the one you dropped a few days ago. Much better than you wearing it on your pretty little head, that’s certain.”
“You think my head’s pretty?”
Recollecting what he said, Arthur puts his hand to his temple and mutters something about being tired or more likely, telling Merlin to shut up.
“You really must stop muttering, I think it’s seeping into your normal voice. Nobody can understand half the things you’re saying.” Merlin appears beside Arthur quite suddenly, even though Arthur’s stopped questioning it - he still gets a bit of a shock.
“I do not mutter.”
“Mumbling, perhaps. Kingly mumbling, if you’d prefer.” Arthur fixes his crooked circlet as Merlin watches the soft sun rays reflect on Arthur's eyes. Maybe, if he stopped time, just for a moment, he could look at them longer than what was deemed appropriate. He could. But should he, was the question.
“I would much prefer you didn’t say I mumbled,” doing exactly that, contradicting himself, “I would also prefer you didn’t walk out in the middle of meetings.” He leaned in the smallest amount, “I believe there are some grumpy, old men in there, that are feeling a tad bit jealous.”
Arthur watched Merlin’s mouth creep into a little smile, trying not to laugh too loud, lest the said grumpy, old men heard the noise. Well, they may assume it was a noise, Arthur, on the other hand, thought of it as a stress reliever, a breath of fresh air, a little glimpse of what life without the crown was like. He had mentioned, long ago to Merlin, that he would find a farm and live off his work, had he been given a choice, and of course, Merlin would be taken along, to do the actual work. He knew that without Merlin, he might not be alive, but Arthur would never admit it especially not to Merlin.
“Sire! They’ve left! You may come inside now!” the sound of the doors closing, and Leon’s tired voice, allowed Arthur to exhale the breath he didn’t know he was holding. A soft pat from Merlin reminded him he should walk back to the room.
“If I had known you wanted a distraction, I would have brought you out here myself!”
“Really, Merlin? For what reason?”
Merlin takes a moment, feigning a thought process, because when had he ever really thought about a proper explanation? “I'm sure I would have thought of something, like every other time.”
“And when has that ever worked?”
Turning around to look at each other over the chairs and table in the meeting room, a smile washed over Merlin’s face, “I believe it worked quite well when I was still your manservant. Didn't you believe my excuses?”
“No. I most definitely did not!” Arthur pauses and at an ungodly volume, sneezes.
A few knights turned around and Leon, from the hallway, nearly jumped into another knight. He shook it off and kept walking, he really did not get paid enough for whatever was going on with Arthur and Merlin nor did he care enough to want to find out.
Merlin stifled a giggle, “I think it's time to start spring cleaning, your Highness, lord forbid you sneeze like that in front of the people. They'd assume a plague was around!”
“I'll get some people onto that immediately,” Arthur heard another giggle from Merlin beside him, “What do you want me to do about it? Get a feather duster and start dusting?”
“Only if you’ve had too much to drink,” Merlin says under his breath, catching Arthur’s eye a moment too late.
“What was that?”
“I said, that’s a great idea, don’t you think?”
“Well, yes I believe it’s a good idea, after all I thought of it. But I think it would be better suited for someone like yourself!”
“You want me to dust?”
Arthur scoffs, “It’s better than lounging around in the sun!”
“Now who sounds like a jealous, grumpy, old man?”
They walk together in exact movements, turning the corner without signals, the same footsteps and keeping in time. “Couldn’t you just magic it clean, or something?”
“I could, but relying on magic can be dangerous, and personally, I would much rather the castle didn’t collapse in the middle of the night.”
“That could happen?” Arthur’s eyes widen in fear. It had been a while since he was frightened, especially with Merlin constantly by his side.
They reach Arthur’s door when Merlin looks at Arthur with a soft smile to reassure him, “That’s exactly why I don’t use magic for everything. But no, unless the spell specifies that the castle should collapse, then we’re safe. Don’t look so scared!”
“I’m not scared! I’m just…concerned for the people… in case the castle collapses…I want to be ready for anything!” Assuming he was taking deliberate pauses, Arthur thought he sounded thoughtful and wise. Anyone who heard him assumed he was shaking at the knees. Merlin knew he was scared, but decided to let Arthur have his delirious moment of philosophical thought.
Shaking his head, Merlin turned around to walk to his chambers, “If you say so Arthur. Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow for yet another meeting.”
“Goodnight Merlin.” Arthur retreats into his room and falls straight onto his welcoming bed. It felt right, to go to bed in his day clothes, slightly suffocated by the amount of pillows that covered the mattress, sink into the warmth and pretend the day was not emotionally exhausting. The only thing missing was another person to hug him.
Tempting the idea of annoying Merlin with another set of questions, Arthur exhales the deep breath he had been holding, sinking further into the layers. It was a possibility, only Arthur would have to walk to the other wing and he would need a foolproof reason to do so, at this time of night. Originally having offered the chamber next to his, Arthur’s hopes of being slick and nonchalant were truly far from it. Merlin laughed and said that he did not want to deal with Arthur’s snoring and took a room in another wing.
To be honest, taking a room so far away was not Merlin’s plan, but being put on the spot, shocked and flustered, he didn’t know what to say and instead, in pure Merlin fashion, freaked out. And in Arthur’s defence, he truly did miss Merlin. Not his morning wake-up calls but having casual conversations and spending time with someone as a person and not a regent were Arthur’s favourite moments in his rushed life. Not that either would tell the other the truth, both simply nodded in understanding and tried to make up for whatever happened.
Merlin would still be the first to see Arthur if he woke up on time and Arthur didn’t leave early, and Arthur would not let a day go by without talking to Merlin unless either of them had to leave on a quest. With their relative constraints, it was not so simple, but unknowingly they both worked at it because truly, one did not work without the other.
“Good morning sire! I have your breakfast ready and when you allow me, I shall open the curtains!” A peppy voice was exactly what Arthur needed first thing in the morning, alongside a horse in his face, a burnt wooden table and a troll beside him. It was not at all what Arthur wanted, but the new boy he had put in the position could not do much else. He was a bit scared of Arthur and reverted to peppy when he was uncertain.
And to match the graciousness of his character, his name was Pickles. Because in Camelot, he truly was in a pickle.
“Good morning Pickles, yes draw the curtains immediately when you arrive, alright? And don’t forget to put ouACHOO!” Again, with the ungodly sneeze, Arthur shocked himself awake. A first for the king.
“I mean, please put out the rACHOO! The ACHOO! Put out the rACHOO!” Sniffling, Arthur’s relay of sneezes would not end well for anyone in his near vicinity, they were sure to catch whatever he was throwing.
“I understand what you mean sire, do not worry. Shall I call the physician?” Pickles did not understand what Arthur meant.
Calling Gaius would mean Merlin would find out, and if Merlin were to find out, then Arthur would not be able to do anything for a minimum of eight days. Not that he would complain, but he felt that the people of Camelot would not be entirely joyous. Finding out the King had come down with a fever would push the citizens of Camelot into their houses and keep them there until he issued a notice that everything would be fine. Perhaps it wasn't a bad idea. Eight days of no duty, no people, no questions or queries. And mainly, eight days without any meetings. Such would be the life of Prince Arthur, but unfortunately having taken the crown and responsibility, it was not the life of His Royal Highness Arthur, the Great King of Albion.
"I would rather you didn't call for him, but tell me, Pickles, did you not say you were trained in the basics of physicianing?"
No, it would not end well for Pickles, in any circumstance.
It worked for exactly 12 days and 14 hours. That's what Arthur thought.
In reality, it worked for a little under 4 days and 19 hours. Pickles had been keeping count of every hour.
Every morning, as Arthur woke up he would sneeze at a horrid volume, cough for exactly 13 minutes until he was dressed and head off to his first meeting of the day. Often rundown by a burning headache, he would retire to his room for lunches and dinners, spent with another round of sneezing and coughing. Pickles, with his minimal knowledge of fevers and aches, kept the King quiet and hidden for as long as he could. The main objective of this whole charade was to not let the Court Sorcerer know of the King's illness, lest the King was told something he did not want to hear - bedrest, for anything longer than 8 hours.
It was fine, until the early hours, when the sun had not risen and the start were still shining, on this certain day when the King started sleep-talking in his delirious mind. Well, it was more like sleep-yelling and he only ever said one thing.
"Merlin?"
Pickles rushed around the room, opening and closing windows, adding and removing pillows, wrapping and unwrapping blankets around the King.
"mERlin?"
In his best whisper, Pickles leaned down to the King's ear, "You told me not to wake him, Sire, I believe he would be asleep in his room. Shall I go g-"
"MERLIN!! Where is he?"
"My Lord! I can get him tomorrow if you'd like, but he is currently sleeping. As you should too!" Pickles understood the depth of the events.
"merlin?"
Pickles did not understand the depth of the events. Nor did he know what to do, when the great King of Albion, the most courageous man that anyone had ever heard of, started weeping. Among the plethora of pillows that surrounded his head, Arthur was crying, he was on the brink of despair and self-rot, wallowing in his sadness, since he had not seen his past servant, Court Sorcerer, friend and silent love, for the entirety of the 4 days he was sick. And in Arthur's mind, he had not seen him for 12 days, much longer than it actually was, but much more painful than anyone had known.
In a rush of emotions, Pickles ran as if his life depended on it, which, in theory, was true. If he did not get the Court Sorcerer, the King may die. If he did get the Court Sorcerer, the King could have his head on a platter. But at least Albion would have a King! So, Pickles ran, quicker than he had ever before and knocked on the Court Sorcerer's door, only to be greeted by a sleepy man in his nightrobes, shocked by the circumstances.
Before Pickles brought a chair next to the King, Merlin was seated on the bed beside him. "He needs a cold cloth and water, also we need to remove some of these pillows beside his head! Pickles, did you really think a man with a fever needs to be surrounded by heavy bedsheets?"
"Well, I…"
"No matter for that now, please, hurry!" Merlin looked down at Arthur, with a hand on his head, feeling his temperature, "It's alright Arthur, I'm here, How are you feeling?"
Pickles was sworn to secrecy after this moment, leaving all knowledge of it to the three men in this room.
Arthur, opening his bloodshot sky-blue eyes, stared at Merlin for all of two seconds and fell promptly asleep after stating that he was "better". A ridiculously large grin grew on his face as if he had begun to dream of the house and the farm and the animals he tended to with Merlin, and had just needed to confirm that Merlin would join him. Almost as if he was dangerously close to admitting that he was not falling but rather buried in his love for the Court Sorcerer, and would have announced it to the world, only after he had seen his face.
"Did I kill the King?!" Pickles had a shiver sent down his spine with goosebumps all over his arms, as he looked at Merlin.
A lovely beetroot red flushed over Merlin's face as he looked back down at the sleeping King, almost as if he understood all that Arthur wished to say, preparing for Gaius to tell him that Arthur needed to be kissed to be woken up.
Turning back to Pickles with a soft smile plastered on his tired face, "It's fine Pickles, he just needed to see me."
For once in his career as the King's servant, Pickles understood that it was not a situation for questions or queries, but rather finally time for him to go to bed.
And as he left, he would swear he didn't hear the softest, "I wouldn't leave you, even if you wanted me to" from the Court Sorcerer to his beloved King.
Once Arthur had taken his well-deserved eight rest, all was well. The people of Camelot were not at all stressed by the situation and understood that the King had his duties, leaving warm food by the citadel, and showing their love for their King.
Merlin had stayed by his side the entire time, ensuring that Arthur did not fall into a pit of self-languish or pain, reminding him that it would be the two of them, forever and always.
Had they ever spoken of that night again? Perhaps not.
But was there an understanding of what truly lay underneath the moment of shared eye contact? Perhaps.
Perhaps they had known all along, and in the end, what mattered more than that?
<3
#bbc merlin#merlin#merlin bbc#merthur#arthur pendragon#Merlin fanfiction#Idk if this was how you wanted it but this is what came out#Don't hate me pls#Hope you liked it
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Klee’s fortnightly sleepover at the Gunnhildr mansion, originally some scheme cooked up by Lisa to force Jean to bed on time at least once every two weeks, has devolved somewhat into an opportunity for all the people who love Klee to gather for dinner at Jean’s place and swap stories and gossip far too late into the night.
But now Klee is in bed and the dining room is quiet, and Albedo, who is the last one out, having had the honour of putting Klee to bed tonight, is stepping out into the crisp fall air.
He turns around and looks up at the figure of the Acting Grand Master silhouetted in the doorframe. She seems softer, like this, with the strong lines of her body blurred by the golden light of her foyer lamp.
“Thank you for coming, Albedo,” she says. “I had a lovely evening. I know Klee did too.”
“It was my pleasure,” he says, the polite human response coming instantly to his tongue.
It is almost too easy, these days, blending in among the humans. He is a far cry from the awkward, socially inept homunculus he was only a few years ago, the one whose mannerisms marked him out as other even if not necessarily as inhuman. The vendors in the marketplace smile at him now when he passes — and, which is more, he finds himself smiling back.
And he forgets, day by day, little by little, who he really is. And he forgets that he does not belong here.
Which is perhaps why he says: “Master Jean, can I ask you a question?”
She shifts, her head tilting. “Of course.”
“How far would you go to protect Mondstadt?”
She blinks down at him, apparently thrown. “How do you mean?”
“I mean,” he clarifies, “if for some reason Mondstadt was in danger because of me. Or, to make it more tangible, if I had put Klee in danger somehow. Would you kill me?”
She makes a tiny, horrified noise. “Why are we talking about this hypothetical?”
“I’m a man of science,” he says, letting his voice tip halfway to joking. “Humour me.”
He watches the protests hover on her tongue before she swallows them down. “Walk me through the scenario again.”
“It’s quite simple,” he says. “The context doesn’t matter. All you need to know is that I have put Klee and the rest of Mondstadt in danger somehow, and the only way to save her is to kill me. Would you?”
Jean swallows, but he can see her answer in the set of her jaw even before she opens her mouth. “Yes,” she says. “I would.”
Albedo nods. This is the answer he was looking for. He is the anomaly, the transgression, the liability; she must be willing to kill him to save the people they both love. He shouldn’t feel as betrayed as he does.
“Still,” Jean says, before he can thank her and turn to leave, “there must be other options.”
“Pardon?”
“Either I kill you or I let Klee die. Why are those my only two choices?”
“I…” He trails off. “Just because.”
She shakes her head. “From a man of science, that’s not very scientific.”
He laughs a little incredulously. “I suppose I never saw any other way forward.”
“Well, the forced dilemma is part of the fun,” Jean allows graciously. “But real life is messier than that.”
“I think, in this hypothetical, there would be no other options.”
She makes a low, noncommittal noise. “I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m just saying that maybe you aren’t seeing the whole picture.”
“How do you mean?” he asks, echoing her earlier words.
“I mean…” She pauses. “Eula is out in the field a lot, so she sees much more of the day-to-day workings of the Knights than I do. But as the Acting Grand Master, I have a bird’s-eye view of the organization as a whole. As a result, when faced with a quandary, she often offers solutions I would never have come up with on my own, and vice versa.” She makes a small motion with her hand, like she’s going to touch his shoulder, then drops it again. “That’s why we have people around us. So they can catch things we miss.”
“I see,” Albedo says.
Jean’s blue-grey eyes, shadowed in the dim light, search his face. He fights the urge to look away from that piercing gaze.
“I would hope,” she says finally, her voice low, “that if you believed you were a danger to yourself or others, you would come to me. I’m not saying I can always help. But the Knights look after our own, Captain.”
“I see,” Albedo says again. His chest is tight. “Thank you, Master Jean.”
She scrutinizes him for a moment more, then smiles a small smile. “I hope my answer was satisfactory?”
“Very much so.”
She looks relieved. “Oh, good. I was worried I wasn’t making much sense there.”
“You made perfect sense,” he reassures her, strangely endeared by her earnestness. “But now it’s late, and you should get to bed. I’ll take my leave.”
“Very well. Have a good night, Albedo,” she says.
He turns away, and watches the sliver of golden light from the foyer fade into shadow as the door shuts. The chill autumn air threads around his ankles as he sets his feet towards home.
If he ever loses control, she will not be able to save him. He knows that already.
Still, it is nice to know that she would try.
#genshin#jeanbedo#albejean#pair so rare i'm making up my own tags#in my defense... i have no defense.#honestly i don't really have a rationale for these two i just think they're kind of goofy together#also i realize this reads like albedo&jean but it's albedo/jean trust me#is there anything more romantic than asking your boss to kill you? science says no#jean gunnhildr#albedo#drabble#leifyposts
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What is chained -Chapter 1
Summary: There was a dream named Rome, and saving it doesn't always mean to chop heads off.
Words: 1677
Characters: Marcus Acacius, emperor Geta, emperor Caracalla and others.
Chapter 1: Taraxia -Disturbance
Any man who has been to sea knows that, when a storm approaches, it is preceded by a shivering calm where silence and stillness are only the desperate cry of an inevitable terror. The air becomes salty, suffocating, the sails hang lifeless, the oars are stowed. And so Acacius thought of his own ship as the slaves loaded their belongings into a wide cart, pulled by a beautiful Gaul steed with its shaggy ankles and curly mane. Lucilla watched, paralyzed with anger from the porch, her hands wringing a sprig of lavender as she struggled not to cry. Her father said that what a free man earns should not be taken from him without cause, but her brother would have sadly agreed with his successors, those two little red-haired devils. Acacius turned away, once he had signaled to the servants that they could retire, and approached the woman with what he considered a reassuring face, which he well knew was not going to do much good. It broke his heart to provoke her to so much distress, but he knew, for that is only learned through years of iron and blood, that refusal would have been worse. “I'll be fine,” he told her, reaching out a hand to stroke her face. Lucilla closed her eyes, bowing her head over the powerful hand that tried to comfort her “Listen, give me a week, two maybe, I'll send messages in the meantime and then… I'll negotiate with the senate. They'll be reasonable, once they see results.”
Lucilla sighed, looking at him defeated. “I never wished this for you, and look at you…you're being sent into the jaws of wolves.” “I'll be able to handle them, you trust, don't you trust me?” he said it lightly, smiling, but his wife didn't play along. “When you raise your sword I do not fear for you, but these… enemies… how will you defend yourself if…?” “With the senate. One word from me and they will regret it. Please…” he added in desperation, giving her a kiss on the cheek, "trust, I know what I'm doing, or at least Gracchus does.’ It was all part of a defensive plan, Acacius said to himself after saying goodbye to Lucilla, riding with his things in the wagon that was taking him to his destiny, was that destiny? he wondered as he left his villa back to the scandal of the city. No celebrations, no making the matter public, that was the decision of the good Gracchus, a great and loyal friend of his wife and her father, so as to avoid angering the demons. It was true that in any case, the demons were already angry. Thraex was still trying in vain to reassure them when the cart stopped at the palace stables, so that Acacius barely set foot when he had clear duties to perform.
“General, I thank the gods you made it” whined the man, exiting through a double door from which could be heard shouts of two men fighting loudly. Acacius looked with exasperation at the door.
“They didn't take kindly to the news, I'm afraid.”
“No way, they're a wild beast, when I told them I thought they were going to kill me.”
Acacius was already used to Thraex hypersensitivity, so he didn't take it so seriously either, and walked through the double doors as if he had just entered an enemy barracks.
On one side, there was Geta, using one of those platters for exotic meats as a shield, and at the other end, his face so reddened that it showed under the heavy makeup, Caracalla, whose raging voice had become so high-pitched that Acacius thought he was going to summon bats.
“You can't tell me what to do!” he shrieked, waving a narrow-mouthed vase varnished in gold.
“I know, I know, I just want you to listen to me, if you keep going on like that...!”
“Do you think I care, I've never been insulted... like that...!”
Geta turned his head and met Acacius, his expression soured but he did nothing but clench his jaw, Caracalla instead dropped the vase - which shattered - and went running towards him, his brother unable to stop him; the older one clenched his muscles in case he rammed him, but the little twin was reduced to stopping a good few feet away, pointing a finger at him as he groaned:
“Et tu, Justus?”
“Calm down, you're embarrassing yourself,” Geta warned him, putting a hand on his shoulder. Acacius relaxed, he detested them both in equal parts, but ruefully admitted that the older twin was a bit more reasonable. “Your Majesties… I see the patrician Thraex has already informed you of the news in the senate.” “News? You call that news?” shrieked Caracalla, wincing ”They have mocked us, that's what they did, and you participated!” “If it wasn't me, it would have been someone else, my lord, and perhaps someone less sympathetic and more… interested in the privileges to be obtained than in the good of you and Rome” continued the general. “I don't know if you haven't noticed but we are no longer children, general” Geta rebuked him, still holding his brother ”We have ruled this empire for years, since we were very young, back then no one cared about our decisions and suddenly…” “You must understand, your majesties, that the people of Rome are no longer as they were in the time of Marcus Aurelius” at the old emperor's mention, Caracalla grimaced and Geta rolled her eyes, ”when the common people were… easily satisfied because they had all they could ask for. The empire is larger, yes, but not stronger or more prosperous.” "How are they not satisfied? We give them parties, shows, military victories, what more do they want?” hinted Geta, supported by his twin who nodded vigorously. Acacius made an effort not to change his expression, that was worse than talking to an infant.
“Yes, but none of it brings food to their tables or fire to their homes. Not all of them are nobles, or wealthy dynastic providers. That's why... that's why the senate has decided...”
“Yes, yes, we know! A curator...” The tone of contempt was not lost on the general.
“See this better as a... advisor in the face of the people” he tried. Acacius regretted not knowing how to speak with the astute finesse of politicians, just now a little lip service would do him good. “If I am always at their majesties' side and... advise them on matters of the people, nothing more, then the people will perceive you as... more... approachable.”
His brain was struggling to find the right words, and he wished he had Lucilla with him, she would surely know how to explain them better. Meanwhile, on the twins' faces there was an identical internal struggle. It was Caracalla who spoke first:
“Who was the idiot who suggested this plan? It couldn't have been you” He said it as if the very idea mortified him.
“No, I certainly don't know, the senate communicated to me only the decision... and that they voted for me as your... advisor.”
“And well, will you be glued to us at all hours? Will you follow us everywhere to tell us how to do our work, general?” asked Geta.
“Their majesties know that I don't know about politics. Of war, on the other hand...”
Yes, he thought suddenly, now that he could explain.
“Come, please, I want to show their majesties something” he requested as politely as he was able, approaching one of the exquisitely narrow windows. The twins followed him, wary. “See out there? Beyond those marble statues and those white steps…that's Rome, your subjects. Tell me, if you were down there, like them, arguing in the marketplace over the prices of a bit of garum and taking your boots to be darned for the third time in the year, how would you feel?” None answered, it seemed too existential a question for their brains. “The enemy can become an ally, if conquered…and it must not always be through violence. You want those people at your feet? You will have to win them back. That's what I'm here for.” The thought brought a strange smile to the twins' faces. Geta, the sharpest, nodded. “Ah, I understand… you'll make them love us, won't you? They adore you, how they get when they see you marching in your chariot! They almost deafen us, don't they?” he asked, turning to Caracalla. “Oh yes, good General Justus, they would make you emperor if they could…” he added with venom.
"Well then, if your majesties would offer your help, I could… well, I would take this matter very seriously. My duty…” he felt a shudder as he said it, "is for Rome to love you once more." That seemed to be enough for Geta, at least he was calmer. Caracalla however continued to insist. “What's in it for you, general? You already have a beautiful house, a noble wife, a superb horse… what more could you want?” Acacius thought it was amusing that the boy spoke to him as if he could bargain. “I do it for Rome, the people I swore to protect and glorify. Nothing more.” “Well… they certainly haven't announced the matter with fanfare” Geta commented, thoughtfully ”We would have expected you to arrive with full honors, a little party for your appointment…”
“No way, I'm not doing it for my own benefit and besides, it would be improper for me to have a party for such a thing. Too many parties would anger the people.”
“Especially since they are not invited” reasoned Caracalla with a silly chuckle ”Yes, yes, that's all very well, I think we can survive this. Don't overdo it, General, and I don't see why we shouldn't get along.”
“Excellent.”
Acacius took his leave, in order to go to his assigned quarters. Part of being curatormeant that he had to live in the palace, the one thing he abhorred most about that job; if Lucilla wasn't so friendly with Gracchus he would punch him in the face for getting him into that mess, but he would have time to ruminate on his frustration, perhaps later in the bath when he could relax as well. For now he had to go back to being the general, and come up with a strategy for this unequal war.
#gladiator 2#gladiator ii#fred hechinger#pedro pascal#joseph quinn#marcus acacius#marcus acacius fanfic#emperor geta#emperor caracalla#emperor geta fanfic#fanfiction#historical fiction#pedro pascal is daddy
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☆ how i originally lost weight quickly ☆
☆ i plan on doing as much of this again as i can ☆
☆ always have a bottle of water with you and refill it everytime you finish. constantly take sips throughout the day and drink at least one cup of water before every meal. it helps you feel fuller! i drink multiple bottles of water a day! ☆
☆ fast multiple days a week- doesn't even have to be a full 24 hours each time. i tend to skip breakfast and lunch or only eat veggies/fruits during this time then only have dinner (pushing it back as far as i can into the evening) so i can go to bed and sleep through any hunger. waiting this long for dinner makes me feel fuller or too nauseous to eat more. ☆
☆ a cup of coffee will help with and deter cravings in the morning. i don't like coffee so i would force myself to drink it and sip water afterwards to help with the taste. chewing gum also would help! ☆
☆ hate to say it but exercise really does impact the quickness (as someone who has always hated it and always said i would never do it) walking either 10,000 steps per day or 30-60 minutes on a treadmill. biking is a good way too. i would listen to music, watch a show or walk with friends to make it more enjoyable. ☆
☆ sleeping when you start to feel hungry and don't want to eat anything. this worked really well the farther i got in my progress due to the lack of energy and constant exhaustion. i slept most of the day a way when i wasn't working which made it easy to go long periods without eating. eventually you stop feeling the hunger. ☆
☆ stay busy! instead of eating do something else! clean, shower, read, draw, scroll online, paint your nails, dye your hair, brush your teeth. etc ☆
☆ try not to plan out meals too much. the less i think about food, the less i end up eating. eventually you just forget you're even hungry once you keep telling yourself you don't care. convince yourself food is really disgusting and if you do eat, make yourself overthink the textures, the taste, every little aspect to trick yourself into getting grossed out. ☆
♡ stay safe loves, remember recovery is still encouraged! ♡
#tw 3ating d1sorder#tw 3d bl0g#tw 3d vent#tw @n@ blog#tw @na#tw @na diary#tw @na vent#tw ana bløg#tw ana ed#tw ana mia#light as a feather#light as a 🪶#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#anadiet#ana angels🪽#tw an0rexia#tw ed disorder#tw eating issues#tw skipping meals#tw ed trigger#tw ed bløg#tw mia blog#tw ed not ed sheeren#tw ed mia#tw ed bllog#tw 3d diary#tw 3d diet#tw 3d blog#tw 3d not sheeran
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hello fallenfreaks! i made this a while ago but its on youtubenow i guess... so The People can see it instead of the fellow freaks in the discord!!
https://youtu.be/kjp4ewjPREQ?si=6pylbTpSkgVy-Y0M
-🎲
youtube
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everyone say congratulations to the first time homeowners!
edit: i may or may not have been inspired to write some headcanons based on this, if you're interested
#is this anything? idk if this is anything but i made it anyway#i wanna write the misadventures of the eepies in their haunted house.#i feel like ii is the ghosts' favorite. while they might mess with the others they are actively helpful to him#like if someone doesn't close the door all the way it'll just slowly click shut so he doesn't have to get up#iii is very jealous that the ghosts like ii so much.#he holds seances at least once a week (despite vessel's many protests) basically just like 'why don't u like me🥺'#iv tries to win over the ghosts by doing nice things for them#if you've seen the show ghosts on cbs i imagine him being a little like jay lololol#leaving the tv on for them to watch or cooking something so they can smell it#(they still love ii the most)#vessel is definitely at least a LITTLE BIT of a medium so to him the haunted house just feels really crowded#though sometimes he'll listen in on their conversations when he's bored#so it's not uncommon for him to suddenly laugh in the middle of a silent room#(the others definitely aren't jealous at all)#anyways if you read all that and would want to read more lmk because i WILL write it#sleep token#worshitposting#sleep token memes#sleep token vessel#sleep token ii#sleep token iii#sleep token iv#em's worshitposting
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every show I watched weekly for 5 seasons or more I've had moments where I was less into it and almost wished it would end. every one. except NCIS. been watching that show for 20 years and I do not get tired of it. it makes absolutely no sense but it's my constant. it's been there every week since early in my high school career when I was watching it dubbed in french. and it's still there into my thirties when I watch it in the original English as it first airs. when everything goes to shit, when I want it all to end, when I don't know what I want or enjoy anymore, it's always there. I get tired of other shows but not that one.
#ncis#my post#i don't rewatch it#i don't write fanfic about it#well i have once or twice#i don't go into the fandom#but i always watch it#i don't watch the spinoffs#except hawaii because of the lesbians#like grey's i stopped watching and caught back up later#i wished it would end at least twice including now#i let all the other crime shows end and didn't start new ones because i don't feel like that genre right now but i still like ncis#like if i want to watch a crime show i rewatch bones or criminal minds#but ncis i watch and enjoy every week and don't rewatch because 20 years is a lot of show to rewatch#i have the dvds for the first 11 seasons#I'm not sure they even make dvds anymore#and i don't know what streaming has it probably one i don't have#i don't know just thinking about how long it's been of watching this show#and i think the secret is to never get too invested in it
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am i tripping or is x3 relatively way better than dark phoenix like,,, obviously the second half of x3's plot is atrociously wrong (apart from when erik keeps bringing up charles) but the initial set up and premise feel less flat than dark phoenix with more things going on than just jean/phoenix and erik and the brotherhood don't feel as shoehorned?
i fear i feel you ..... however ive always held the belief X3 wasnt a terrible movie on the sole basis hank was there and the movie started with old man bickering while adopting their daughter so this aint a shocking opinion to meee
'but snap hank was in dark phoenix too' ok he didnt piss me off in X3 !!!!! moving on !!!!!!!!
#snap chats#so funny how things are intersecting cause people are talking about DP on twitter#like with X3. it wasnt my favorite but i could at least be like 'ok that was fine'#DP just had me bored or like. Miffed#idk i should rewatch them movies again.... awful because i rewatched dark phoenix twice in a week for some reason#I DONT KNOW WHY?? I WATCHED IT ONCE THEN AGAIN FOR SOME RESAON BUT OK#anyway no youre right with the brotherhood bit like we were actualy introduced to them in x3#or we saw how we got here. in dp We Just Fuckin Here. Inexplicably. Erik Werent You Wanted For Terrorism#why you just hangin out in this relatively nice field with supplies LMAO#oh but about hank tho. this my beef with the hank/mystique bit like girl why he so pressed at charles like that#as if mystique wasnt charles' sister like hank you gottttt nooooo right to be more upset than charles#like people crticize DP for how antagonistic people are to charles and WHILE CONCEPTUALLY i dont think thats a bad thing#i think it can be fun and interesting to criticize charles sometimes- or at least question him every now and then#but it do be kinda comedic in this movie cause its so....... Oh Hello JLAEKAJK LIKE WHY YALL SO MEAAN TO HIM WHATD HE DO#god this rambling is not meant for tags im gonna run out. all ima say is X3 did handle the dark phoenix thing better#even if the movie still isnt. super good. on consensus idk i should rewatch it it been a while
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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doodles of the gay idiots feat Mona and my girlfriend's oc, Lilly :) (who is also a gay idiot)
#oh the pain Mona would have Peter go through when playing#Jay tried to warn him but he didn't listen#though Jay would probably fall harder for Peter when watching him play with Mona#also yeah I got a girlfriend now look at me go I'm so cool#Jay would ask Peter to buy him the most random stuff btw#he'd ask a bunch of weird questions too. like “would you still love me if I were a worm” or#“would you still love me if I murdered your family and spoke German only and stitched your mouth to someone's ass?”#important questions. silly nonetheless#when moving in with Peter. Jay would lounge around the house a bunch once he'd gotten used to the place#and he'd get lost in the woods at least once a week. Peter would panic and go in looking for him#just to find Jay running through a stream or something. maybe fighting a bear or petting a bird idk depends on his mood#fun fact: in my friends au Mona is Lilly's and Jay's kid who's part pancake. more on taht later or something idk it's a long story#anyway idk what else to say#my art#void#friends au#peter yb#your boyfriend#your boyfriend game#Peter Dunbar#Jay#Mona#color palette#pansexual#transgender#jacob skelton#oc stuff
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