#i still remember the pain it was so bad

[thesingingrevolution]

reading my diary entry from 8th grade when the boy i liked so much gave me a kiss on the cheek..

[pineapple-frenzy]

Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Good morning, Sleepyhead.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[arcanegifs]

Arcane Gif Requests: anon + Caitvi Scenes: 27/? ↳ "We need you back on your feet. What was the name Sevika gave you? Jinx?"

[jackass-jones]

Mizuki and Date though like. Imagine being 8 and your parents are filthy rich and going through a bad divorce. Your mom treats you like shit, lashing out at you, hitting you, saying she wishes you were never born all because you were behaving like a child. Your dad is more comforting, but he doesn’t do anything to stop the abuse and he spends his time invested in a completely different family, a girl who you love and look up to but he loves her more than you and it fucking shows. Then your dads new friend, some fucking bachelor in his late 20s, is just like "wow you guys are the worst fucking parents ive ever seen" and next thing you know your dad is sending you off to live with him. And it’s just a massive kick in the head cuz you go from a rich lifestyle to living in some really shitty tiny ass apartment with this guy who’s clearly never been around a child in his entire life and he doesn’t know how to behave and does a really bad job of censoring himself like he has a bunch of dirty magazines that he can’t hide very well cuz it’s literally a studio apartment and also he talks to himself sometimes, it’s really weird. He doesn’t even have the slightest clue what he’s doing

And he’s the best parent you’ve ever had

Because fuck, it all really hurts. You have to cope with having never received any love from anyone, and with the fact that your parents clearly don’t want you and can’t even be bothered to send you with anyone even kinda responsible. And this guy has a scary job with crazy hours and you don’t know anything about him and neither does he. But still, he never once hits you or tells you you’re not allowed to cry. He just gives you space and doesn’t push you to feel any sort of way about him. And sometimes, he’s even kind. He makes you some stew, even though it’s a bit chunky. He lets you sleep in the bed and takes the couch for himself, even though he complains about the massive back pain he’d never trade his spot for a second. He pays attention to events at your school and gives you your favorite stuffed animal when you make good grades, even though you called it ugly. He gets worried sick when you come home with bruises and puts on a goofy voice and trains you to defend yourself and you develop some highly deadly skills and even though it’s really abnormal, he buys you a bench press so you can get stronger. There’s this distance there, and you feel really weird caring about someone who you aren’t related to, but you find yourself wishing it was meant to be like this all along, that maybe, he’s secretly your real dad and he loves you like his real daughter

And when you say "I’m back" he says "welcome home"

[quartergremlin]

Loose Change: Migraine?

WAS ANYBODY GOING TO TELL ME THAT MIGRAINES CAN HAVE SIMILAR SYMPTOMS AS ALLERGIES AND GET WORSE IN THE WINTER OR-

transcript:

Q: It burns!

2: No it doesn't. Stop being dramatic.

20 years later

Q <- (in hell): Wait a second. Have I been having migraines this entire time?

[sysig]

I invite you to imagine (Patreon)

[heartorbit]

SPARKLE ON ✨✨✨

[theladyspanishes]

Apologies but you were at the top of my Tumblr feed and I have been instructed to randomly tell someone online a painful truth.

Here goes.

Closing your posts to comments is an inherently hostile act.

Again; sorry. Nothing personal. We all serve the random number gods in our own fashion.

Mndrew, I recognise your profile pic, I've seen you around, I know you're a chill community member and active participant and stuff, so I want to be clear that this isn't like a dig on you or anything, it's just a response to the thesis statement: "Closing your posts to comments is an inherently hostile act". I don't know how many of you know this, but a while back, while I was still at university, I spent around a year? Maybe 2? dealing with an obsessive online stalker.

They made it very difficult to spend time anywhere online, but they especially weaponised Tumblr (I think they realised it was a less public account of mine where I could seek respite). I would wake up in the morning to find they had sent me hundreds, on one occasion close to a thousand, messages. The messages would range from threats of self harm or against me to seemingly nonsense phrases designed to just remind me that they were still there. The tumblr notification sound still spikes my anxiety.

You can't block someone like that. First of all, they would and do simply make more accounts (I just checked - I still have 30+ accounts of his blocked over here). Secondly, this kind of behaviour leaves you in a trap; If you interact with them, they know they have access. If you block them, they know that you saw their message... so they know they have access.

During this period, I had the good fortune of being able to ask Grace Helbig, of all people, whether she had any advice. She got so furious on my behalf I still tear up a little when I think about it, but *she* told me a painful truth that day: As much as you might like to, as much as most people know how to behave appropriately, you cannot leave yourself open to every line of communication your audience might want.

If you look around at my socials you'll probably start to notice a trend. You can't comment on my instagram posts unless you're a follower. You can't DM me unless I follow you on Twitter. Places where I can't control those settings, I simply do not ever open my inbox. In fact, it was really only a short time ago that I turned tumblr messages back on, after a loooong hard think. In many cases this is something that actively hurts my engagement, but it's a choice I've made to draw a line on where and when and how people can access me.

All of that said, you don't need to be an internet personality with digital stalker trauma to draw your lines. Closing your posts to comments is not inherently hostile, it can be an act of self-care, self-preservation. No one is entitled to be able to access you in every way they want to.

[angelpuns]

I was gonna draw a Leo comic about my arm hurting but it hurts more to draw so ig I will just not do anything ;-;

[teddybeartoji]

yeah no i can't let either of the guys know i can do yoga and i can even less let them help me stretch they CANNOT find out that i like the pain😭😭😭😭

[delightedchips]

about the timebomb healing period ..

particularly interested in the idea of ekko also struggling to adjust having returned back to the current universe so suddenly and being whiplashed by a lot of things like the scar & sevika team up 😭 (i assume anw by how casual the two pop in tgt during the recruit meeting) it does offer a neat foundation of a shared sorrow of some kind between timebomb .. jinx watching him pour so much of himself taking care of her and also catching glimpses of him when he's away struggling to digest all the happenings of the firelights during his absence, grieving heimerdinger, rebuilding a semblance of a relationship with sevika, seeing the current dissipation of the tree, getting bombarded by news of an upcoming war and still having a big chunk of his heart to help jinx, making sure she's eating, her bed is warm, water is always ready .. a boy of many burdens ..

maybeee. the sadness cycles back to jinx because the sight of it all tugs her heart to guilt (maybe even anger) and she has this sudden urgency to save him from what hes committing to by taking her in . a part of her actually wants this second chance but she still doubts ekko understands who she really has become and desperately wants assurance that he does . But instead of asking for it she opts to try and convince him to give her up again via rashing out in cold-hearted anger . with the outcomes of either ekko actually giving up (which, in turn, to jinx, 'saves' him. which is viewed good! ekko doesn't deserve another burden. ekko deserves the 'truth'. at least to jinx) or, ekko not giving up (which, in turn, to jinx, assures her. affirms she is still worthy of love at all even at this point. maybe it's not too late. but jinx won't admit how appealing it all actually sounds or how she would much prefer that outcome).. I don't think ekko would react w comfort .. i want to think he'd break too . All the rage cracking thru .. but in the end he still chooses to pursue this path .. something something

A shared sorrow . Kinda. A cycle of sadness . Kiiinda. Just two broken people trying to figure it out .. carrying a semblance of a want to save the other but each of their efforts costing a part of themselves

[atsukunaritai]

「つうか、みっちゃんが一番好きだ。」

「俺が死ぬまで一番。」

— Actually, you're number one for me, Micchan.

— You're number one until the day I die.

永遠の昨日　第３・８話　　　　　　　|　　　　　　　Eternal Yesterday ep. 3&8

[chaotic-average-child]

getting back on my drawing slowly but surely ^^ here's an aleena

[recitedemise]

Before I get on to some replies, I am sat here trying to digest all my thoughts again nearly 1 year after leaving my abusive ex.

And what struck me is how absolutely racist they were and are.

It doesn't escape me that their last two exes (including me) were Asian. It doesn't escape me that they consume a lot of Asian media. It doesn't escape me that, one time, they came to me to vent about their ex before me, upset people said they had an asian fetish when their ex 'was tan and aggressive' when, if they really had an asian fetish, they'd go for a pale and more meek person.

It doesn't escape me that after they would corner both me and their ex before me to absolute mental breaks where we would retaliate with anger that they would call us aggressive abusers. It doesn't escape me that I tried breaking up with them countless times, was begged to stay because 'I was the only thing that made them happy' and that 'they wouldn't know what to do without me'. It doesn't escape me that when we did FINALLY break up because THEY allowed it, they told me that we should break up because 'they can't be with someone with such inordinate anger' when, in my last attempt to break up with them, I tried breaking up for 4 hours. Straight.

The last break up attempt came after they blew up at me and my friends. I was so stressed out with this constant abuse, and them freaking out so royally was too much. They then asked me to go on a trip to see them because it would be good for our relationship. They said I didn't have to, though, and because I wasn't ready to see them after everything, all the crying, all the breaking down in parking lots, all the driving lost and in tears and sitting on the side of a highway for hours just wailing, I said no. I'm not ready.

They then got so upset and kept going 'well, you went to see your other friends. I don't come down there that often. I came to see you when I was upset. I was really looking forward to this. If you don't want to go, then you don't. I don't need you there to bring down the mood.' They said they weren't guilt tripping me, by the way.

Fed up, I finally had enough. I said we're breaking up. It isn't my first time wanting to break up either because I would constantly capitulate when they crossed my boundaries and ignored my discomfort and desires. But I would capitulate because they NEVER took no for an answer, and I was too weak to stand my ground, and I would always just want the talking to end. I was consistently overstimulated and gave up.

So. I tried breaking up one last time, and again: distress.

4 hours of me saying 'I want to break up. That's final.'

4 hours of them going 'no, please. Why? I'm so confused. I wasn't guilt tripping you. I don't know where you see that?'

4 hours of them going 'please stay with me. Please water the seeds of our love.'

4 hours of calls and constant texts.

4 hours of them going 'I know you love me still somewhere. You used to love me. You can learn to love me again.'

4 hours where they wrote me letters and sent them to me during their therapy session.

4 hours of never listening to me when I said 'I think I feel better/healthier away from you.'

4 hours of them telling me they thought I was in therapy and that I have to keep going to love them again. Ignoring the fact that I was in therapy primarily because of my distress being in this relationship. Them denying the possibility that my health, I realized, was better without them, and them refusing to allow me that space.

4 hours of repeatedly disrespecting my desires and boundaries for their own comfort.

4 hours where I finally blew up and called them stupid and annoying, something they threw back at me as proof of my 'inordinate anger' when they finally agreed to the break up 3 DAYS LATER.

Yeah. I guess Asians are all docile and sweet. They just happened to end up with the two that weren't. I say this all very sarcastically, but how unfortunate.

And after all that, they told their friend, who later came to me saying they were trying to do a nice and good thing for us with which I blew up at and that I was exceptionally cruel.

Okay. I guess good people just suck it up always, huh, and have no boundaries ever? I shoulda been super sweet and did whatever they wanted for the millionth time at the cost of my own sanity. Why not! I'm disposable in comparison, after all! Sucks I missed the memo!

[angelstrawbabie420]

in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.