#i still have to do a mock presentation for my other class tomorrow but im almost free lol

[defendglobe]

*crawls out of the google doc covered in blood* hey

[scentofpines]

long ass text

yesterday was one of those days where i felt like the whole world really did conspire against me. when i was at the train station i heard someone call my name and it turned out to be the girl from the welcome event last week that i got along with really well but hadnt seen since and guess why?? she switched programs. to ECONOMICS :| and we were on the train together for 30 minutes and usually that wouldve killed me to do with someone i dont know well but we were really vibing and this makes me so fucking mad, i was really looking forward to having courses with her :(

then i had a seminar (the one abt women and gender history) and it sucked. the lecturer seemed nice (albeit in a bit of a manic way) but the thing is a) half of the seminar will be reading this AWFUL book about basically the history of gender history/philosophy which i tried to force myself to read a few weeks ago and gave up after 40 pages bc i didnt get ANYTHING. and she said repeatedly how well written and understandable that book is :))) and b) even though i asked her via mail before i signed up for the course what the exam will look like and she said its a written one now she came out and said we will have to do a book presentation. and, like a normal presentation would be bad enough but doable but a book presentation?? presenting a modern scientific book about a topic instead of just presenting the topic itself seems so fucking useless to me????? i think i will drop out of this course and do a lecture abt prehistoric drugs instead bc i genuinely dont have the energy for weirdly structured stupid classes anymore.

today we were SUPPOSED to have a lecture about greek archaeology and the dude who was supposed to do it just didnt fucking show up???? we waited for 50 minutes and then just left lmao. i just looooveeed taking a stinky, 3 hour long (there and back again) train ride for nothing.

but at least i got to know two girls i guess. i already chatted with one of them on whatsapp and we talked about ukrainian/russian folk music which she also likes lol and i complimented her name, which is kinda arrogant bc i have the same one lmao just spelled differently bc hers is transcribed from ukrainian. and then she complimented mine back lol. so she seemed pretty nice and the other girl too, buttttt they are...idk extremely girly girlypop perfectly styled girls and i always feel soooo weird and out of place with women like that.

oh god and at one point they both said that they were "for real on the spectrum". bro. BRO. i have literally NEVER seen more well adjusted women who had ZERO issue conversing in this full loud ass room for 50 mins straight, who also had customer service jobs that they can do with basically no issue and that were completely chill just randomly chatting with ppl they dont know well. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING AUTISTIC. YES I TAKE THIS LABEL AWAY FROM YOU. ITS NOT YOURS. MY LEFT ASS CHEEK IS MORE AUTISTIC THAN BOTH OF YOU COMBINED but i still dont go around telling ppl im on this fucking "sPeCtRuM". this term has become so meaningless. i cant imagine how absolutely awful actually autistic ppl have to feel with everyone nowadays basically appropriating their (often) life ruining disorder if i already feel like shit. i know ppl dont mean it like that but it feels so mocking.

and tomorrow i have to get up at 6:30am and drive there again and i will probably get my presentation topic for this other course. but at least i will be back home at 1pm and then i wont have to go to uni for friday and the weekend. its only week 2 and i already feel so awful. oh and btw i fucking miss my fav professor so much it hurts, i know men are evil blabla but i have insane father hunger sometimes (i think thats what its called) and my god. would i do anthing for him to be my father. and then i see my actual father and i just want to throw up and kill either him or myself. genuinely my prof has shown me more loving consideration than my father in the last 15+ years. ok now you know the depths of my pathetic soul if you read this far congrattssss and goodnight

[dreamii-yume]

im weak for scenarios where the boys lust after a teacher!reader. Epel's the sort of boy that'd use his adorable looks to make her lower her guard and then..you know ;) ;)

I am equally as weak too, Darling (╥﹏╥) I can feel it in my KNEES.

Warnings : Non-Consensual Touching | Yandere | Toxic Manipulation | One-sided Teacher-Student Relationship

He’ll definitely pull that one stunt he did in Chapter five where he pretends to be all vulnerable and weak just so he could take advantage of Darling’s weakness.

Like— Yume can definitely see Apple boi purposely failing his class to catch Sensei Darling’s attention. It’ll either be you who approaches him about it or Epel himself if he’s impatient enough. With just a few tears and pitiful sniffs here and there, Darling Sensei will instantly be alert and comfort him about it. He’ll eventually get you to teach him afterschool, going to your office sometimes unannounced and becoming a full-blown teacher’s pet. He’ll listen to you talk religiously with a beautiful smile that never leaves his face, and even asking for a few questions just so he could scoot closer to you and feel your skin against his.

This behavior would only get worse in the time of his birthday as of course, you’d be invited but oddly enough— I don’t see Epel doing anything DURING the party. The real time where this boy shines his desires is right AFTER the celebration where he’ll personally invite you to his room. You’d have no choice on the matter, he was begging for you to come and teach him that one principle in alchemy since he has an exam next week! Maybe it’s just your teacher’s intuition and morals, but you just can’t ignore a struggling student, especially on his birthday. So, you get in his room, noticing subtle details like how neat and quiet it is as his roommates where nowhere to be found, but not noticing how Epel had to cover his mouth to hide an excited smile as he swiftly locked the door with a silent click.

You don’t know when or how, but you would soon notice that this little study session doesn’t seem as...normal as before. For one thing, Epel doesn’t seem to be listening to you anymore and with his cheeks resting on his palm, you initially thought that he was becoming sleepy. But when you were about to call it a day, you instantly noticed how much his eyes were burning into you. He’d smile like before once you started to call out for him, but it was obvious that there is definitely something off about him. “Sensei, are you going already?” He’d ask as soon as he noticed a shift in your breath, his tone disappointed with his eyebrows scrunching together in sadness.

You gulped, knowing how weak you are when it comes to a student’s puppy eyes. “Yes, but maybe we can continue this tomorrow? You should get some rest.” This was when you started realizing how rushed you sounded like, your tone of voice was too similar to someone who just wants to leave this place as soon as possible. You sincerely hoped Epel didn’t notice, but of course, it didn’t seem to escape him at all as he placed a hand over yours as soon as you tried to stand up from your seat.

“You’re leaving...? Already?” He’ll pout his lips, eyes shining as if tears were about to come out soon. “But we still haven’t gotten to that part yet, Sensei.”

Now, that got you confused. Part? What part? You’d rack your head for what he was talking about and how that confusion shows upon your expression so clearly just...amuses Epel to the core. I feel like this would be the point where he wouldn’t be able to keep up the weak boy facade anymore and lets out a condescending snort, still trying to cover his mouth. “Cute.” He’d say, which would instantly catch you off-guard as chills ran up your spine. But whether he slips up or not in that moment doesn’t matter, all you need to know is that he’s prepared for it and now that you’re in his room, you’re not leaving until you give him that one present that only you can give.

He’ll trap you; he won’t even let you move an inch from where you’re seated and you wouldn’t be able to because he’ll move faster than you can expect. Capturing your lips before you could even think was his first move, putting his hand on each of your shoulder to keep your body down and viciously attack you with his tongue. You’d probably widen your eyes and try to move away, struggle, or anything that can get you out of this dangerous situation but Epel knows how to use the advantage he has. He knows how you won’t hit or use magic against him because that’s not the kind of person you are, you won’t ever hit a precious student of yours. The whole world will judge you for it, and your pride wouldn’t allow that.

But still, you’d be understandably dumbfounded by what happened and Epel will absolutely take advantage of that, giggling ever so elegantly to mesmerize you even more. “The truth is...I’ve liked you for a long time now, Sensei.” He confesses, a line that he obviously had practiced over and over again as he takes off his suit and unbuttons each one skillfully. “That’s why, I want you to continue taking good care of me.”

You can’t protest, not when he begins to sit on your lap in a reverse manner, seductively wrapping his arms around your shoulder. You gulped as nervous sweat forms on your forehead, scared to how outsiders might perceive a student like Epel clinging into such a dangerous position with his teacher. You can tell him to stop or get off, still trying to be as professional as you can but the only response he gives you are those small, wet kisses on your cheeks and lips. Epel has no intention of hearing you out, shutting you up by indulging in your lips deep once again but this time his hands travels your body, slowly pulling your outfit down to reveal some skin. He’ll grab the hand that was pushing him away and guide them towards his chest and down to a more...dangerous place where a teacher like you should never touch.

You’ll panic because of this, trying to pull your hand away from his crotch, but his grip was awfully strong and tight. One that you never would expect someone as fragile-looking and feeble as Epel to have. “Hey, Sensei...You’ll help, won’t you? You’ll take care of me, right?” Epel asked again and just when you could describe his eyes to be that of an innocent fawn, his expression suddenly twists into that of a smug individual. “I mean...You have to, right?”

It was as if he just couldn’t keep up the act anymore, his voice deepened to a lower volume, giving it a sardonic feel upon reaching your ears. “You’re...already touching me this much, Sensei.” He said in a sickeningly sweet tone, a blush was painted across his cheeks but he was clearly mocking you for falling for such a cheap act. He leaned forward once again, wrapping one hand around your neck with a wide, egoistical grin on his face. Lovesick eyes burned deep into you with no intention of letting you go any time soon, an expression that made you sweat profusely that you just can’t help but gulp in response. “...Aren’t teachers supposed to be the to take responsibility for their own students?”

“Hey, Sensei...Isn’t that just the right thing to do?” He whispered as he was quick to clear out the evil in his face and brought out the good boy persona that you were so used to. But now that you have met his other side, you can’t help but feel how just as unstable this side of him as the other one...It wouldn’t even be a full stretch to say that this superficial expression might be the one who’s even more dangerous. “Sensei...Please teach me.”

“What do you really want to do?”

[avengersapology-vid]

Avengers: College Edition

Steve: Criminal Justice and Studio Art double major. He doesn't want to torture himself with anything difficult and still wants to study what he loves. He is still an over achiever though. Highkey hates frat parties, saw someone twerking upside down and almost cried but stayed because hes the designated driver (responsible KING). prefers small get togethers with his friends. Roommates with sam and bucky!! Joins Criminal Justice club, jokingly rivals with Engineering (Tonys Club) Everyone on campus loves him including the professors, wins Homecoming king and is very happy. Sam jokingly asks to be his queen, Bucky butts in and says "NO, im his queen". Can be found in the library or art studio, usually with ink or pencil markings on his hands.

Tony: Obvi an engineering KING has physics as a minor. procrastinates to the max "No Bruce I have everything under control" *crams for 46 hours straight on a constant IV drip of Redbull and coffee* Super smart and helps draw the blueprint for the new engineering building. Roomies with Bruce! Tony was in a frat for a bit his freshmen year but hated it and wanted real friends (Throws better parties anyway) met Bruce and all the other avengers during a 1301 intro class. Pulls women like no tomorrow. On the presidents list every semester and tutors math for free on the side. He is basically the Dad in STEM. Tries hitting on Natasha but she is just like :/ nah, when her and bruce start dating tony is surprised because bruce is his "quiet little cinnamon roll." Tony constantly teases bruce and is like "yall fuckin (;" Steve butts in "tONY PLZ I JUST WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE" Bruce is thankful for steves intervention. You know how he rivals Steves Criminal Justice club? He butts heads with Business Clubs leader (Pepper) until everyone catches them together at a party. Has a caffeine addiction. Works out with Thor and Bucky one day in the rec and almost dies.

Bruce: Physics and Engineering double major (Hardworking KING) In math club with Vision and Wanda. He loves being roomies with Tony because it helps him out of his shell. Likes to draw with Steve sometimes and enjoys the quiet. Doesn't procrastinate and gets things done in a timely manor. 4.0 icon we all strive to be. Him and Nat already know each other, but bond and get a lot closer while studying in the library and they eventually start dating. He takes her coffee when she works across campus and is always almost late to class because of that (He doesn't care though bc thats his BABY) "Um.. Bruce your class is in 5 minutes" "Okay and?.....Wait I have an ex-" *Sprints to his building* Takes boxing at night with Thor, Bucky, Sam and Steve!!! Loves sparring with Thor and can surprisingly take the big buy on pretty well. Gets his butt kicked by Natasha in a MMA class though.

Natasha: Majors in Criminal Justice and Minors in Psychology. Ballet club AND MOCK TRIAL!! Has a Job at the Criminal Justice Deans office and takes MMA classes on the side. She is on Mock Trial with Loki and they actually get along quiet well once they stop butting heads about the case. Introduces Sam and Wanda to dance and they have so much fun. Coffee dates with Bruce!! Her and Steve become RAs in the following years and are the coolest RAs you know. Prefers night classes, Bruce walks her to all of them. Psychology classes are her favorite and really wants to help children one day. Volunteers at a daycare during breaks. Sis can really out drink Tony and Thor. Puts Wanda under her wing and helps her with fafsa and what not. Her and Bucky get the Russian language credit by simply testing out. Has her sh!t together and while she has a lot on her plate she can take it. She is really the Mom of the group. Can be found dancing or with Bruce. Her and Clint are icons in psychology classes.

Clint: Deaf Studies with education minor! (we stan deaf clint in the comics) In the Archery club and wins nationals for the Uni. Loves to draw with Steve. Helps Bruce ask Natasha out! PRANK ICON! loves to do prank wars with tony, bucky, loki and sam. Was in the same frat with Tony but hated it as well. While he seems to have a more reserved demeanor he is still the life of the party. (Like he knows people at the clubs ya know?) Can get in anywhere and helps everyone rent out a club for the night in celebration of midterms being over. Loves reading in the library and loves morning classes and being productive early in the day. Cracks Tonys netflix and hulu passwords (no tony... tonyr0cks69 is not good enough) Wants to teach at a school for the Deaf. Bruce sets him up with a girl from engineering and that is his future wife.

Thor: Physical Education major and Communications minor! Here on a football scholarship and is in a frat (not the asshole one tony was in) and is a partying ICON. Tries to get Loki to party but Loki just wants to drink wine with the cat he snuck into his dorm. Learns Sign from Clint to prepare for his career in education. Loves working out with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Takes up boxing during football off season and spars with Bruce. Despite being everyones fav himbo he gets really good grades and is a very good writer. Loki dorms across the hall from him. Thor actually rooms with Peter. Peter is the freshman baby and Thor takes peter under his wing and introduces him to everyone and helps him with college stuff in general. Also hooks him up with MJ and brings him to the occasional boxing session. Has a loud booming laughter you can hear in all floors of the library when he sees a funny meme. One time he actually makes a very good point and notices a flaw in one of Tony and Bruces projects leaves everyone stunned. Picks on Loki in big brother fashion. Unironically calls weed the devils lettuce.

Loki: Pre-Law and Criminal Justice. LOVES to argue. (Devils advocate ass) In Mock Trial and Criminal Justice Club. Tony jokingly calls him steves sexy secretary in CJ club. Loves Mock Trial and is the president with Nat as his right hand woman. Sneaks a cat he found at the shelter into his dorm and names it muffin. Stays in the Library writing or going over cases. The one time he was taking Natasha a copy of the Mock Trial case packet and caught her and bruce smooching. (He screeched) "Haha funny joke yall heres the case packet BYE." He automatically texts the group chat "i think nAT AND BRUCE HAVE SOME TEA FOR US HMM". Lets Peter and Bruce come over to his dorm because he knows their roommates can get a little too much sometimes. Loki also becomes an avid twitter user and thats how he gains popularity on campus. (He called the uni out for their awful and expensive parking) Was able to convince the Dean with tony and steve to create a new parking lot. Caffeine addict!!! Him and Tony always bump into each other at the coffee shop. Brings baked goods to meet ups with the gang. Loves to play pranks (especially on Tony) Him and Bucky come up with a genius prank on him and even get pepper involved. Best dressed on campus and is in the fashion club. He is the embodiment of dark academia.

Sam: Criminal Justice Major with Aerospace Engineering minor. Gets introduced to Bucky and Steve during move in and they literally become brothers. Is both in Criminal Justice Club and Engineering Club. In the Historically Black Frat on campus and takes huge pride in that. Parties with tony and thor BIG TIME. Procrastinates by throwing paper airplanes at Bucky until Bucky is like "Um...dude your paper is due in like two hours." At that moment Sam got into work faster than he ever had. Loves gossip sessions with Loki and Wanda. Works out a lot with Bucky, Steve and Thor to get rid of stress. When he and Bucky finish a final they go to loki's dorm and ask "Hey can we see your cat." Helps prep food for friends-giving and decorates the dorm for holidays. HATES 8ams so so so much. Steve promises him pancakes if he gets up and goes. Binge watches shows during weekends and screams when Destiel is finally canon. Loves running and gets a Track Scholarship when Thor gets him to join a sport. Gets Peter to join track.

Bucky: criminal justice major and psychology minor. Buck is also in ballet club with Nat, it really helps him relax and gives him a free space to think (also he runs that shit like no ones business) Criminal justice club as well and LOVES to work out and box. One time Sam accompanies him to ballet and Bucky pushes Sam into a split... the scream was heard for miles. "Sam ballet is good for athletes it helps w-" "Yeah but its not good for my balls" Doesn't willingly procrastinate but once in awhile he will forget an assignment, you best believe his eyes will snap open from his nap and get to work asap. For one of his psyche labs he had to question Steve as if he were Steve's therapist to which Steve responds "Hey bro you dont have to hit a nerve that deep" He also likes to do dance with peter since it helps him get away from Thor for a bit. Not a big partier but once the weight of finals are off his chest you best believe he will go all out. Picks on Nat and says hes gonna steal her man, to which tony interjects and says "Not if I do first" Bucky also has a very comfy dorm, comfy lighting and tons of pillows, the man loves his sleep... and so does everyone else. Sometimes he finds peter, sam, THOR, tONY EVERYONE just napping in his bed before their study time. Overall, bucky is a smart boy and his time in college is kind to him.

Wanda: English Major and Education Minor. After being an orphan Wanda knows what it feels like to not have a parental figure there and she wants to change that for other kids by becoming an english teacher. She volunteers at an orphanage, specifically the one her and pietro were in for a brief moment when they came to the states. She loves to draw as well and takes plenty of art classes with steve. She paints a portrait of the entire gang and gives it to tony as a graduation present (he cried). She loves to do volunteer work for children and also spend a lot of time in the library, She helped Nat calm down before Bruce asked her out. Her and Loki are in constant competition for best dressed. "Loki ill let you win best dressed but you have to let me see your cat" "ugh fine... btw your shirt doesnt match your boots" "hEY" Her and Peter take alot of intro classes together and are constantly running around craft stores trying to get the right stuff for projects. Visits Vision at his Job on Campus and he visits her where she volunteers and eventually they start dating. She is constantly getting visited by pietro at 4am asking "Um do you have milk" "Pietro its 4am what do you ne-" "my OREOS"

Pietro: Track star business major, frat ICON with Thor. poor boy is STRESSED he hates college and is here on a track scholarship, constantly late and running around getting shit done. Queen of late assignments but still gets them graded because he is in Track. Yeah he has alot on his plate but he still parties with thor for hours. When he is drowning in assignments Clint is always there to help him, Bruce also helps him with biology and the more science-y classes. Likes to mess around and race sam at track practice. Not into coffee but will run on all the monster energy drinks you could possibly buy. Seriously is tired of 8 a.m courses, he just wants to nap after practice. Walks into the study room that everyone was in and actually looks more sleep deprived than tony. He gets a lot of tips from steve on how to have an easier time in college and it really helps him.

Vision: Grad student working on a civil engineering masters and a TA. Meets Wanda in the library and she asks him where the biographies are. He mistakenly says they are on the 2nd floor "Uh theyre actually on the third" "Then why did you ask?" "Cause I wanted to talk to you :)" He swooned. Through Wanda he met Tony and Bruce and became their best friend, He helped out a lot with engineering club and got them far. He spends a lot of time doing research for his masters degree, he loves relaxing with the group on weekends and picks on pietro as if he is already apart of the family. Him and Loki bond over intellectual conversations from time to time. Bruce and Nat go on double dates with him and Wanda. Went to a bar once with tony and bruce and had to stop tony from singing Queens entire discography, he had the best night that night. Helps everyone with getting into jobs and into grad school in general while everyone helps him let loose and have some fun.

Peter: Peter is a Physics major and eventually works his way up to biochemistry. (hardworking icon) He is the freshman baby of the group and is introduced to them through Thor. He dances with Buck and Nat sometimes as well. Tony obviously takes peter under his wing and helps him with assignments. One time everyone was in the same study room and him and pietro have a redbull shot gunning challenge. When Peter wins Thor picks him up and almost yeets the poor boy into the ceiling. "VERY WELL DONE YOUNG PARKER YOU SHOULD BE DOING THAT WITH BEER IN NO TIME." "Thor plz" Tony and Thor help him ask MJ out and even spy on them during a dinner date. (Imagine thor with sunglasses and a scarf around his head pretending to be tonys date) He feels so accepted in college because of the gang and gets all his work done on time. Goes out of his way to get everyone christmas presents and is so excited for friendsgiving. Becomes a little stressball during finals and midterms and stays in the library till it closes. He spots loki alot in there and helps loki with science classes while loki helps him with political science classes. He meets MJ through wanda and is obviously blushing the whole time while being introduced. Gets embarrassed when the guys flirt with aunt may. "guys plz stop" This is when Sam earns his "milf hunter" nickname. "Pete hows your aunt?" "She doesnt want you sam i-" its not like that... actually it is like that"

Coulson: Alumni Icon. Is the gangs Intro professor and is the reason why everyone meets eachother. (the class was chaotic indeed) Coulson loved that class so much and he still gets visited by everyone from time to time. He is obviously close with Nick. They were there that night when Tony was signing Queen at the bar and couldnt help but laugh.

Nick Fury: Dean for criminal justice and is heavily involved with criminal justice club and mock trial. He is tired of everyones shit as always. Makes a tiktok account for the criminal justice club and has no idea how to manage social media so gets Loki to help. Has to delete it when Loki commented "hah losers" on the engineering tiktoks page. He looks intimidating but in his office he has a picture with the club and has all the gifts he gets on display. (He even framed lokis comment because it was hilarious afterall)

[ssamie]

six. she likes someone else, idiot.

oikawa tooru x fem langa!reader

(hq x sk8 the infinity)

warnings: spelling mistakes, swearing, 2k+ words, u have langa’s blue hair sorry 

gen masterlist.            “snow” masterlist.

"as promised, here we are" oikawa greeted her as she opened the door to reveal him and iwaizumi. "good morning " she greeted them with a bubbly smile "hey" iwaizumi nodded at her. 

"oh, you're not skating today, y/n-chan?" oikawa hummed "well, i don't want to accidentally leave you behind again" she said as she closed the door behind her. oikawa sweat dropped and nodded along "how thoughtful" he chuckled 

"here's your coffee, oikawa-san" she had a determined look on her face as she hands him the beverage in a disposable cup

"oh... yes.. my coffee" oikawa deeply inhaled a breath of air and took it from her. "thank you, y/n-chan. i didnt think you were serious about it, though" oikawa laughed as he took a sip of the coffee 

"oh, well i thought you'd be bummed if i forgot a promise" she said 

as soon as she looked away, oikawa gagged and shuddered, making iwaizumi sweat drop and look at him in concern. "dude what the hell?" iwaizumi deadpanned 

as y/n looked back at them, oikawa's dread filled expression quickly changed into one of delight as he happily chugged down the drink 

"haha, i was just amazed at this coffee!" oikawa exclaimed with a grin "and y/n-chan made it so its extra special!" 

"oh, that's great!" y/n cheered as oikawa gave her a thumbs up paired with a wink "im glad you like it" 

"yup! looking forward to the next one tomorrow" oikawa chuckled 

iwaizumi watched the whole thing go down with a look of bewilderment. he was just about done with these two and their shenanigans. "dude.." iwaizumi muttered as he watched oikawa gulp the whole thing down "why're you doing this.."

oikawa turned to him with a grin and clocked his head to the side "what do you mean, iwa-chan?" he asked "i told you, y/n-chan made it so its extra special!" oikawa said with a laugh as he threw the cup away at a random trash can

iwaizumi's eyes widened as he watched his friend jog over to the girl and happily start up a conversation 

"jesus christ.." iwaizumi sighed "i don't know if him being like this is a good thing or not.." 

now, its no secret that y/n was attractive. her features were head turning. and her eyes alone could bring a grown man to their knees. she was quite captivating, to say the least. 

so it shouldn't come as a surprise if boys and girls start flocking around her for the same purpose. 

to have her as their girlfriend. what else? 

"hey, hasegawa-chan" a boy greeted her as she exited the classroom. "oh. hello.." she replied with a hint of confusion 

"are you free today? if you want, i would love to treat you to some snacks after school" the boy said with a nervous chuckle. "oh, thank you but.. i have club duties after school." she said "maybe some other time" 

she then walked away from the boy, absolutely clueless to the fact the she was just asked out on a date. 

from inside the room, oikawa watched the whole thing go down with a look of distaste. "hey, hey, iwa-chan!" he slapped iwaizumi's arm. "that boy just flirted with y/n-chan, look!" 

iwaizumi spared him a glance before looking back down at his comic. "i know, shittykawa." he sighed "its no big deal anyways. she declined, didn't she?" he said 

"it doesn't matter! people are trying to steal her before i could even exit the friend zone!" oikawa exclaimed "actually, im not sure if im even in the friend zone yet!" he pulled at his hair in distress 

"i told her we'd be best friends in the future but that means we're not right now, right?!" 

"you're thinking too much, shittykawa" iwaizumi sighed as he pushed him off his desk, since he was hitting his head repeatedly against the wood 

"im gonna follow her and shoo the boys away" oikawa perked up with a determined look on his face. "dont do that" iwaizumi grunted in annoyance. "and you look stupid. your forehead has a red spot now, dumbass" 

"actually, what if i ask her out before they do?" oikawa hummed thoughtfully to himself. 

"you did that already. didn't she say she has the 'boyfriend spot' reserved for someone?" iwaizumi raised a brow 

"whatever im gonna follow her" oikawa waved him off. "dont do that-- and he's gone." iwaizumi merely sighed as he watched oikawa rush out of the door 

"now.. who is that ugly guy?" oikawa muttered to himself as he watched a boy flusteredly hand y/n a letter 

"h-hasegawa-san..this is for you!" the boy exclaimed as he handed her the letter without making any eye contact. "oh.. its a letter" she muttered as she went to open it 

"no! uh- read it later when you're alone.." the boy stammered out "it's a bit embarrassing for me" he said. "oh, okay then" y/n simply nodded and put it in her pocket. "goodbye" she said as she walked away 

"right! bye, hasegawa-san!" the boy nervously waved 

oikawa sweat dropped as the boy looked at her with a lovesick grin even though she just straight up ignored him and walked off. well it's not like he has room to say anything. he's the exact same, if not, maybe even worse. 

"tch. hey" oikawa called out to the boy. 

"me..?" the boy muttered in confusion as he pointed to himself. "yeah you" oikawa raised a brow as he judgingly looked him up and down "why'd you give y/n-chan a letter?" he scowled 

"oh well i -" before the boy could finish oikawa laughed at him in a mocking way. "yeah yeah, save your voice. it's not like i'll listen to you anyways" he said with his usual charismatic smile 

"but don't do that again, okay~" oikawa cooed "y/n-chan doesn't need a boy toy like you! but maybe try with another girl!" he suggested 

he patted the boy's shoulder and waved him goodbye "good luck~" he cooed. the boy watched oikawa walk off with a look of dread and confusion. "what the hell, man?" the boy muttered 

"now, where is she-- another one?!" oikawa groaned to himself as he watched y/n receive another gift 

except this time, it was a from a girl in the first year who was shakingly handing her a bento with a cutesy note "hasegawa-senpai..! um- this is for you" the girl said as she shyly presented her the neatly wrapped lunch box 

"i made it myself, i hope you like it!" she said with a bow before hastily running off with an alarmingly red face. "..?" y/n cocked her head to the side as she waved the girl goodbye "thank you..?" she muttered 

she opened the bento slightly and gasped in awe at the food 

"no! don't be swayed by the food, y/n-chan!" oikawa silently screamed to himself "its a trick!" 

y/n then closed it and continued to walk away.

"yes! she wasn't swayed by the food. that was close" oikawa let out a sigh if relief as he placed his hand over his pounding chest. "maybe i should cook her food from now on" he muttered as he took a mental note for future use. 

"now--" before he could move another inch, he was suddenly crowded by girls that came out of nowhere. literally. 

"oikawa-senpai!" "oikawa-senpai, we made you a bento!" "oikawa-san i made you cookies, see?" "oikawa-san let's hang out!" 

"ah, hey there girls~" he cooed at them. as much as he wanted to leave them, he couldn't just ignore his fan girls. as annoying as they were, they were still his supporters after all. 

"oikawa-san, are you practicing later? can we watch?" "we'll bring you snacks during practice!" "i'll cheer for you, oikawa-senpai!" 

it had been roughly five minutes since the girls arrived. and it had also been five minutes since he's lost sight of y/n. oikawa was starting to get antsy. his sole purpose was to shoo her admirers away and yet he was being bombarded by his own. 

suddenly, the blue hue which he seemed to grow so fond of caught his eye. he turned to look at her, walking so casually while she frowns down at a piece of paper in her hands 

"y/n! -" sadly his voice was drowned out by the shouts and squeals of the girls, although the noise still got her attention 

y/n looked up to see the brunette waving at her with a girl latched onto his other arm. and being the clueless one that she is, she simply waved back with a smile before walking away 

"that might be the girl he liked.." she muttered with a hum. "he mentioned it at the park that night.." 

"ack! she wasn't jealous at all!" oikawa spluttered with a gasp 

"oikawa-san what are you talking about?" "do you like someone?" "what?! oikawa-senpai, you like someone?!" 

oikawa waved them off and hastily ran after the blue haired girl. "y/n-chan!" oikawa exclaimed as he slammed their classroom door open 

y/n, along with the rest of the class looked over to him in confusion. ".. yes?" y/n replied "ah sorry" he sent the class a peace sign before rushing over to her side 

"i was gonna ask --did  anything interesting happen just now?" he mused with a huff "did ya maybe get something from someone..?" 

oikawa, bless his heart, was trying to be as discreet as he possibly could. though it's not like he has to try since she was probably as dumb as a rock when it comes to shit like this. 

"oh.. i got a letter and a gift" she said as she shuffled through her bag for the said things 

oikawa dramatically cried in his mind as he looked away from her. "she has no shame! so she really doesn't care about my feelings!" he muttered to himself in distress 

"its this." she said 

oikawa reluctantly faced her with a furrowed brows and quivering lips, ready to throw the love letter and bento away. that is, until he actually saw what the 'letter' and 'gift' was. 

"uh what is this?" oikawa sweat dropped as he pointed to the pair of school shoes and a note from the dean. 

y/n sulked as she reluctantly started removing her converse. "i got in trouble today" she said "apparently, im not allowed to wear these" she said as she stuffed her shoes in her bag and slipped the school shoes on 

"well yeah, everyone knows that" iwaizumi sweat dropped. "then how am i gonna skate?" she faced them with exaggeratedly teary eyes as she uncomfortably moved her feet about 

"guess you're gonna have to make do with that" iwaizumi comforted her 

"is that all you got?" oikawa asked again 

"oh. i actually got a love letter and a bento. but that's about it" she casually replied 

oikawa gave her a painfilled smile and a thumbs up. "ah. i see." he grimly replied. "well.. aren't ya gonna give them a response?" oikawa asked followed by a strained laugh 

"i can't.." she mumbled with slight embarrassment 

"why not?" iwaizumi asked 

"i can't read it.." she admitted, her face gradually getting hotter and hotter from shame 

"what?" 

"i can't read it!" she covered her face with her hands "japanese is still hard for me! i can only understand certain parts!" 

"and i also ate the bento because i was tempted!" she confessed 

oikawa and iwaizumi sweat dropped and nodded along. "i see.." oikawa laughed 

"well it's no problem" he said. "you can choose not to respond. you're not really obligated to, anyways." 

"really? that's great!" she perked up. "i didn't know what to do anyway" she chuckled "i could only understand parts of the letter cus i wrote it for reki!" she said 

"im glad im not stuck in that pinch anymore.." she sighed in relief "im not used to people liking me.." 

iwaizumi watched as oikawa's face visibly fell at the mention of the redhead's name. his already pained smile quickly turned into a frown. 

"y/n-chan! can you come here for a sec?" one student called for her "oh sure." y/n replied before quickly making her way to them 

oikawa pouted and trudged over to his seat, plopping himself down on the chair and resting his head on the desk with a huff 

"so, what'll you do now?" iwaizumi asked as he glanced at his friend "dunno" oikawa replied 

"hey iwa-chan. am i ugly?" he asked. "i was gonna say yes but that'll be too mean at the moment. so no, shittykawa. you're not." iwaizumi replied with a sigh as he put his comic away 

"is that reki guy hotter than me?" he asked again. "i dunno, dude" iwaizumi shrugged "i mean, probably." 

"do ya think i have a chance? i mean, i always get with girls so easily!" oikawa huffed. iwaizumi rolled his eyes and hit him on the head with his fist. "wanna know why you don't got a chance, shittykawa?" he said 

"ouch -- yeah sure, enlighten me, iwa-chan" oikawa replied with a wince 

"its cus she likes someone else, idiot." 

oikawa rolled his eyes and rested his chin on his hand, watching y/n converse with another student from across the room 

"just how amazing is this reki guy anyway?" 

"I HAVE 40, 000 YEN AND A SKATEBOARD!" reki exclaimed as he slammed the money and the board down before cherry "IS THIS ENOUGH TO VISIT Y/N, CHERRY?!" he asked with an excited smile 

"for a plane ticket!" reki replied "do ya think if i sell this skateboard i'd get at least a thousand yen?" he asked 

cherry sweat dropped and pushed the things away. "what is this for?" he asked with furrowed brows 

cherry watched the boy fuss with a smile of amusement, chuckling lightly to himself as reki starts listing down the jobs he's done for the money. "a plane ticket costs roughly 15 thousand to 30 thousand yen. with your budget now, you won't be able to afford a trip back home" cherry explained 

"whaaa?" reki groaned out "then i have to work more? but thats so boring! i haven't skated in forever for this!" he whined 

cherry patted his back as the redhead sulked. "don't worry, we'll be going with you anyways" he said "you can borrow money from the gorilla" cherry suggested with a smile 

"why not from you?" reki raised a brow. "because i don't want to." cherry replied 

reki sweat dropped but nodded anyways. he gathered the money and the skateboard before running on his way over to joe's restaurant. 

"JOE HELP!!" reki exclaimed as he slammed the restaurant doors open. "yo, what the hell?!" joe yelled back as he watched reki rush over to him and cling on his arm with a cutesy pout 

"hey hey, joe~" reki cooed "can i borrow money from you? i can right? right? great!" he exclaimed "i'll need 20 000 yen atleast!" reki said with a grin as he held his hands out expectantly 

joe spluttered as he stared down at the redhead. "hey, who said i'll give you money?" he scowled 

"cherry did!" reki exclaimed 

"kaoru.." joe muttered through gritted teeth. "that damn brat." he sighed. "whatever. i'll give ya money." he said. "it's to see y/n right? we've been planning on visiting soon anyway" 

"really?! great! can i have it now-" reki was cut off by joe's laughter. "no, no" joe cooed

"you're gonna have to work for it" he smirked as he pulled out an apron and a menu and shoved it into the redhead's arms. reki's expression morphed into one of dread as he held the apron against his body ".. am i supposed to be a waiter?" he groaned out 

"you're a smart one, aren't ya?" joe said in a teasing tone 

"but why do i have to work?" reki whined. "oh, cmon! it's for y/n, don't ya care about her?" joe taunted him 

reki sent him a glare and reluctantly put the apron on. "for y/n.. sure" he muttered with a blush of embarrassment as joe started ruffling his hair like a child

"hey, joe.." reki trailed off "if i have to work.. the shouldn't he be working too?!" he shrieked out as he pointed to miya who was quietly sitting by a booth. "hah?!" miya exclaimed "i actually have money, unlike you, you slime!" he yelled 

"how?! you're thirteen!" reki shrieked out 

"and you're seventeen but poor! shut up and take my order, slime!" miya hissed back at him 

"i hate you!" reki hissed back "im not letting you near y/n after this, just so you know" he said. miya simply rolled his eyes and huffed. "shut up, slime. i want a drink." he said 

"you shut up" reki muttered back in annoyance, but quickly wrote the order down anyways 

"haha, keep this up and you'll see y/n in no time!" joe cheered as he patted reki's back. "why can't you just give me money, dude?" reki groaned 

joe laughed and sent him a cheeky wink "gotta milk the opportunity, you know?" he mused 

"so you're just using me!!" 

ppl r asking for them to see y/n skate,, dw that's coming soon haha,, and reki and the others are also appearing soon :) 

"exactly!" 

sorry for the spelling / grammar mistakes if there are any :<

[quirklessidiot]

Title: tough luck Pairing: GN! Reader x Suna Rintarou [college au] Genre: domestic fluff and my bad comedy (teeny tiny angst if u squint)

Synopsis: “This is what some people call a bad day, Rin-chan.”               [this request of suna rintarou + fluff ]

Warnings: minor bad language but thats it Notes: 

omg i was finally able to write something fluffy yay! Hshdhdhd the mind- after all that angst. I hope yall enjoy this domestic college au suna hakhak where can i get one of these.

im posting three requests per week (its to help writers block and well, my english in general, they’ll be posted on random days) ill probably limit it to one when school starts though sike currently have four more requests to finish aye.

navigation

Thesis papers be damned.

You might as well burn your group mates to the depths of hell for leaving you to dry these past few weeks. They weren’t even replying to your messages tonight and you were having a mock presentation first thing in the morning.

You aggressively started to mix more cake batter after frosting the cupcakes.

“Baby?” a low voice echoes throughout the quietness of the kitchen, your steely gaze snaps to find your half-awake boyfriend standing there in his sleepwear, his raven hair completely a mess, if it were a normal day, you’d coo and snuggle next to your good-looking man and annoy the fuck out of him but no, you just had to be in a bad mood, “It’s four am, what’s with all the sugar overload?”

“I’m celebrating the death of my sleep schedule and my sanity. Want a cupcake, baby?” a sarcastic grin makes its way to your lips and honestly, despite his deadpan features, Suna was very worried. He had been bugging you these past weeks to stop living in coffee and instant noodles so he decided to crash your place tonight to scold you, cook yourself a hot meal, and smother you to sleep with his hugs but it seemed like it didn’t work at all and you just violently wormed your way out of his grasp.

He slowly made his way to you, eyes half-lidded, and grabbed the rubber spatula from your hands and snuggled his head on your shoulders like a kitten, “Sleep, Y/N. It’s not worth to stress over those shits.” his voice was blank as usual but you knew he meant well.

“Well those shits will be my downfall tomorrow if they can’t answer the panel’s questions.” You spat as you cracked the eggs harshly on the batter and snatched back the rubber spatula from his hand, letting out a loud huff as you continued to mix aggressively.

“Y/N…”

Silence.

“Y/N…” 

“Fine.” you grumbled, “Just let me-”

“I’ll clean up.” Suna sighs, grabbing the spatula once again from your hands, “Go to sleep, I’ll wake you up at seven am, just in time for your class, right?”

“But i can-”

“Y/N.” Suna narrows his eyes, determined to get the last say between you two.

“Ugh.” You grumbled, shoulders slouched, “six thirty-”

“No, seven am. Your class doesn’t start until nine. You need more rest. No take-backs.”

Giving your boyfriend one last stink-eye, you slowly trudged yourself to the bedroom and just flopped yourself towards the bed. Ah, how bad could this day even get?

You shouldn’t have jinxed it.

You were almost late since the professor had moved the presentation time to eight am, thank god your apartment was near your uni, your boyfriend literally watched you shove the most decent outfit you could find and throw yourself out the door in a hurry. In the midst of the presentation, your stomach started to grumble too since you weren’t able to grab a cracker or your usual bread to go before class.

Even worse, your stink of an eye group mates weren’t able to get their parts right.

You were downright ready to throttle them, thank god that this was just a mock defense.

Your mood doesn’t exactly brighten even after the defense, you sit there and look like those cartoons who had fumes coming out of their ears. After class ended, you decided to bring it up to your professor and he tells you it’s too late to take the names out.

Your mood dampens even more.

Exiting the classroom with a scrunched up feature, you stop to see a very familiar figure standing there holding a brown paper bag and a cup of steaming hot milk on his other.

“Mornin’” Suna quietly greets you as he gives you a light feathery kiss on your cheek.

You blink.

“Shouldn’t you be in class right now?”

“The professor was absent, he had some staff meeting so I decided to get you a bento box and some milk. Try to avoid coffee for the time being.” Suna explains as he transfers the cup of milk to his other hand so that he could hold your hand, “Let’s have breakfast, Y/N. You don’t have class until another hour, right?”

Before you could protest, your boyfriend drags you to the field and under the shade of a large tree to eat the bento he bought.

Suna quietly listens as you rant on about how annoying and how much you want to throttle your good-for-nothing groupmates, occasionally wiping the little crumbs on the side of your cheek, “...You should take it easy.” Suna simply replies after you finish your rant, “You’ll get a cold if you keep this up.”

“My okaasan will definitely let me live in the cold if I fail a class.” You shiver at the mental image of your mother giving you a sermon. Suna just sighs as he fixes up your trash, he could never argue with you.

“Come,” he stands up and holds out his hand for you again, “I’ll walk you to your next class.”

The sun shines brightly yet your day doesn’t get any better, you had a pop quiz on one of your weakest subjects and you couldn’t even finish the readings since you were too preoccupied with your thesis and your groupmates.

You inwardly let out a groan as you made your way to the library, your phone rings and your brows contort in confusion at the name of your boyfriend. “Hello?”

“How’s class?”

“You’re such a miracle worker.” You sighed, “You always know when to call.”

“That bad?”

“Everything just sucks, ah life feel so shitty these days-” You confessed, scratching your head in annoyance.

“Hey.” He cuts you off, voice dead serious, “It’s just a bad day, Y/N. Don’t worry, we all have these days. How many classes do you still have?”

“Just two.” you huffed out, completely frustrated by how bad your day was going.

“Take a deep breath and drink some water, alright? I’ll see you after class, let's walk home and order some takeout then sleep early alright? My class ends the same time as you today.”

“B-But…” You stop protesting, realizing that Suna would shut down the idea. Saying goodbye to your boyfriend, you take in a deep breath and do as he instructed. 

Thankfully nothing major happens on the next subject and as you were about to proceed to your last class, Suna texts you that he has some milk bread on your locker and your favorite banana milk. A small smile made its way to your lips, one more subject and this wretched day was over then you’ll get to snuggle next to your boyfriend.

Again, you shouldn’t have jinxed it.

Someone had accidentally spilled the banana milk you were drinking all over your white shirt along with his cup of mocha drink (which thank god was cold because if it wasn’t, you’d be suffering a burn)

You had to sit through the whole class with the sticky feeling on your chest and that ugly slosh, you really should’ve brought a jacket today.

“Hey baby- jesus christ, Y/N what happened?”

It’s quite hard to gouge a reaction from your boyfriend most of the times but you can’t believe that something as easy as the big ugly slosh of mocha and banana milk stain on your plain white shirt would actually shock him.

You pressed your lip into a tight line, pissed, as you open your arms, “This,” you exclaimed, “This is what some people call a bad day, Rin-chan.”

Suna shakes his head at your antic and just takes his sports jacket to place it on your figure, he’s awfully reminded of a Pomeranian when you’re angry but he’d never say that out loud. 

Instead he softly grabs your hand and tugs it lightly, your quiet on your way home. He notices that maybe the fatigue is slowly sinking in, so the minute you guys enter your apartment, he urges you to change into your pajamas while he orders take out.

After a quick bite, you lay on top of him and snuggle on his neck, humming an unfamiliar tune as you draw circles on his chest, “Thanks.”

“Hm?’

“For being there.” You hummed, “I wouldn’t know what I’d do if you weren’t my boyfriend. So yeah, thanks...”

Suna feels a small smile make its way to his lips, he doesn’t respond, instead he just kisses your head and lets you lay on his arms, “Hey Y/N…” He paused and when he notices that you’re soundly asleep on his arms, his smile turns wider. i love you, he thinks randomly as he watches you sleep, “Goodnight.” he whispers instead out loud, kissing your forehead again and hugging you into his arms.

[honsoolie]

don’t rush | 02

pairing: Yoongi/reader

genre: slight enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, eventual smut, classical pianist!yoongi, violinist!reader, they’re both actually really into each other but won’t admit it

warnings (for this chapter only): mentions of stage fright/performance anxiety, swearing, sexual references, slight angst, dad jokes :|  

words: 6k 

rating: +18

summary: You know, when Min Yoongi’s face isn’t screwed into an accusatory scowl, he looks exactly like the kind of guy you’d have no trouble falling in love with. Or, the conservatory au where Yoongi helps you get over your stage fright. In more ways than one.

a/n: didn’t plan to take this long for an update, life gets in the way, you know the drill. read 01 here and as always, this is crossposted to ao3 :) 

When you get inside, the warmth welcomes you in. You’re not quite sure if it’s from the heating in the hallway or how Yoongi’s eyes had shone in the moonlight. You lean against the inner door frame, a happy smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, legs a little weak in the knee. You feel light-headed, maybe from being up late, maybe from your exhausting day, maybe from the lingering remnants of Yoongi’s cologne. 

Did that really just happen? Did he really just ask for your number? Was this all a dream?

The euphoria is short-lasting, however. You still have some assignments waiting for you, and only a couple hours left until your morning classes. The tiredness never lets up, and your limbs heavy again as you make your way inside the lobby of your dorm.  

Unknown number (2:47am): hi this is yoongi 

Unknown number (2:47am): did you get inside ok? 

You (2:48am): yeah

You (2:48am): did u? 

  Yoongi (2:50am): im walking back now 

Yoongi (2:50am): you should sleep soon :// 

  You (2:51am): I still have hw :( 

You (2:51am): text me when ur back inside too 

  Yoongi (2:53am): lmaoo is it counterpoint hw 

Yoongi (2:54am): it’s so sweet that you care for my safety ;( 

  You (2:54am): yes sadly 

You (2:55am): ofc I care, we can’t have our amazing star pianist get hurt 

  Yoongi (2:55am): im home now

Yoongi (2:58am): you have a thing for praise, don’t you 

Even though you can’t see him, you splutter alone in your room, roommate fast asleep. There is no way that means what you think it means. 

You (3:00am): idk where u got that from 

You (3:03am): maybe i do, you’ll have to find out 

  Yoongi (3:04am): I would, but you have to finish your analysis worksheet :/ 

  You (3:15am): ugh, fuck it

You (3:15am): im going to sleep 

You (3:15am): ill just wake up early tomorrow to finish it before class 

  Yoongi (3:16am): what? No goodnight? >:( 

Yoongi (3:17am): some manners you have 

Yoongi (3:17am): what a rude girl 

  You (3:18am): aw have i been bad? 

You (3:18am): I’m sooooo sorry 

You (3:19am): gn 

The minutes tick by, and you grow more indignant than you should. Is he serious? 

Who doesn’t say goodnight back? Maybe you scared him off. Maybe all this “flirtatious” banter was just how Yoongi talked to his friends. How would you know? You don’t know anything about him. 

The same insidious doubt creeps back in. Maybe this is all a game to him. Maybe he just wanted to introduce himself to another music student in the department, you all were supposed to know each other anyway. Maybe, worst of all, he had really only meant to wake you up in the music building as a simple courtesy, no intent behind it. You groan as you sink into your bed, cradling your head in your hands. 

You (3:27am): some hypocrite you are 

  Yoongi (3:30am): I was in the showerrr relax 

Yoongi (3:31am): hm you have been bad 

Yoongi (3:33am): maybe I should punish you 

  You (3:29am): u wish 

You (3:30am): but goodnight for real, we have class in five hours :”( 

  Yoongi (3:31am): goodnight

Yoongi (3:31am): save me a spot next to you 

~

You were in the world’s smallest big crisis. 

Was Yoongi actually serious when he asked you to save a seat? Or were you just indulging in wishful thinking? Was he flirting with you last night? And if he was, what are you supposed to do now? 

Whatever he meant, you would have to face him now. 

The endless litany of maybes and what-ifs grows louder in your head, even louder than last night during your text correspondence with him.You elect to use your backpack to save the seat next to you as class time draws nearer, chiding yourself for overthinking something so casual, but it does nothing to soothe your existential anxiety. 

“Thanks for saving me a spot, I’m so glad you remembered.” A voice brings you out of your reverie. It takes a moment to register who it is at first. Your eyes meet the traditional college garb first, sweatpants and an overwashed fundraising t-shirt, then the half-tamed cowlick, that ever-present cup of coffee. Your breath catches in your throat, breathtaking despite the casual circumstances. It’s just another class lecture, you chastise yourself, but your gut twists nonetheless. 

Seeing Yoongi in such close quarters is still an adjustment for you, his presence (or even the thought of being close to him) a shock to your body. You had spent so much time languishing after him that even now, it still feels like waking up into a dream. 

You clear your throat, stalling, “Yeah, putting my backpack in the seat next to mine was sooo hard. You should compensate me for my labor.” 

You try to put on the flirty smile that you were wearing last night, but it feels like a grimace. God, you are way too nervous for this. 

You realize you’ll never get tired of the way he laughs at your shitty jokes, the way his shoulders shake and eyes crinkle at the corners. 

“Yeah, I will, don’t you worry about that.” He sinks into the seat next to you and doesn’t spare you a second glance. 

Dr. Won walks in, the picture of put-togetherness, killing whatever flirty response you had formulated. 

You thought you had enjoyed having a crush before, but admiring someone and imagining a life together from afar was worlds away from talking and sitting next to said object of affection. This shouldn’t be that big of a deal. You shouldn’t be tripping all over yourself when Yoongi sits next to you in lecture. 

Whatever Dr. Won is saying is drowned out by Yoongi sitting next to you. It feels deeply unfair how he affects you, when he gets to sit next to you like nothing important is happening. It’s just another day in lecture, preparing for the midterms coming up. 

He’s not even doing anything, minding his own business. You shouldn’t be swooning when he is just sitting there, again bouncing his leg, taking diligent notes. From the furtive glances you steal, even his handwriting is attractive. Endearing, even if it was a little messy and looping over the printed lines.

~

True fact: the only reason why Yoongi fidgets so much is because of the effect you had on him. It drives him up the wall, the way you keep tucking your hair behind your ear. He envies your unfaltering concentration, the look in your eye when you see something on the Powerpoint slides that you have to jot down. 

Yoongi can’t stand to silently sit next to you without doing anything anymore. Taking his pen, he scrawls on the corner of your neat notes. He knows it’ll piss you off, but that’s the reaction that he wants. 

  do you have any idea what is going on 

  He watches carefully for your reaction. Satisfaction creeps into his neutral expression when you notice, confusion turning into what could only be a lovestruck smile, and then into an irritated grimace. Fuck, even the curve of your wrist was enough to drive him crazy. You pick up your pen, writing back. 

  No, stop writing on my stuff 

  Okay, new plan, Yoongi concedes. He settles for writing on the corner of his own notes, tearing off the corner. He slips the paper into your lap, fingertips skimming the top of your thigh. He doesn’t notice, but he leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake. 

  don’t you think dr. won dresses like an old hag 

  You write back on the scrap of paper: 

actually you could learn a thing or two from her 

  Yoongi smirks, in classic Yoongi fashion. 

You know I would rock a long skirt like her 

  Yoongi watches you read his message, smile, and then tuck the note into your notebook. 

~

After class, Dr. Won reminds everyone of the midterm coming up two weeks from now, and that’s when Yoongi senses an opportunity. The two of you walk out of class together, forced to walk side by side because of the student foot traffic.

“Do you like, want to study together sometime?” Yoongi blurts out, louder than he needs to be, even among the hum of the other students. 

 He clears his throat. “I mean, we’ve shared a lot of classes, so.” 

You can’t help but laugh in surprise, or maybe incredulousness. You resist the urge to let the satisfaction show on your face. “I didn’t know you ever noticed.” 

“Of course I did. You’re like, the biggest nerd on the planet.” Even when Yoongi is teasing you, he can’t help but sound bashful. 

You gasp in mock offense. “There’s nothing wrong with being a nerd.” You both stop, standing at the mouth of the lecture hall. 

“Of course not.” He’s awfully close to you, close enough that you can see the mole on the tip of his nose. “That’s why I’m asking you to be my study buddy.”

It’s not necessary to be standing this close. Sure, the hallway is busy, but not that busy. 

“Study buddy? That sounds lame.” You scoff, playing hard to get. Both you and Yoongi know you’re going to say yes anyway. 

“What else do you want me to call you? My homework homie?” 

“Uh, yeah . That sounds way better than study buddy. ” You’re more proud of your humor than anything else, even if it earns a deserved eye-roll from Yoongi. 

“And midterms are coming up. So you know, mutually beneficial.” Yoongi takes a sip from his coffee, peering at you from behind the rim.   

“Like… friends with benefits?” You can’t help yourself. It’s just too easy to flirt with him. 

Yoongi tongues his cheek, he grins. “Only if you want it to be.” He’s having way too much fun with this. 

You try to hide your reaction, but Yoongi notices anyway. (He notices a lot of things you don’t realize.) Your wide-eyed shock, the blush that’s flushing down your neck, the way you open your mouth as if to say something equally as flirtatious back, your laugh, like this is actually way more casual than it is. 

“So I’ll take that as a yes,” He says. You could get used to the playful lilt in his voice. 

“Only if you promise you won’t just copy my work.” You cross your arms in front of your chest, suddenly very aware of how tall he is. 

“I live and die by the honor code, y/n. Of course I won’t,” Yoongi says, leaning ever closer to you in the cramped hallway. 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Does a man of honor text me like you did last night?” 

“Oh come on. If you’re going to be friends with me you’re going to have to learn to laugh at dirty humor.” Friends? It’s a start, at least. 

“Who said that I didn’t like dirty humor?” 

“Hmm, I did.” There’s a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. “You’d have to be a woman of your word and show me.” 

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” You flash an innocent smile, like you don’t see the implication of what he’s saying. 

~

Tuesdays have always been the most bittersweet day of the week for you. It’s lesson day, but oh, it’s lesson day. It feels like the day of judgement, every single week. It’s a culmination of all the blood and tears that you’ve poured into your music in the past week, another chance at evaluation. You’ve known your violin teacher longer than you’ve been in college, and it still shouldn’t scare you this much.

The nervousness spins and dips in your chest as you make your way up the winding stairs that lead to the music building. You usually soothe the apprehension by reminding yourself of all the things you’ve done to prepare, just like you usually do before you go out on stage. This week you were supposed to get the rest of the Bach partita memorized and cleaned up, but it still resides in your memory as disjointed bits and pieces of what it’s actually supposed to sound like. You try to run through the parts that you were stuck on last night, but you draw a blank. You usually don’t take this long to commit pieces to memory, but when you open up your score, all you can think about is the unmoving stare of the audience. Seeing your life flash before your eyes every time you stare at your pencil markings isn’t exactly conducive to productive practice sessions. 

As you retrieve your violin from your locker and make your way to the practice room, you feel like you’re preparing yourself for your own undoing—every scale, every tick of the metronome—another step towards your demise. 

It shouldn’t be this serious, but the pitter-pattering of your heart says otherwise. You glance at the clock. It’s time. You pack up now, so you have a couple extra minutes to wait solemnly outside of her office, staring at the posters that advertise the professionals who come to perform concerts at your college. Next week, a pianist and violinist duo is coming. In the picture, they’re smiling proudly next to a Steinway piano. They look proud of themselves. They probably don’t feel like they’re allergic to the stage, probably live for the audience’s applause. That’s probably how they ended up there on the poster, after all. 

Your violin teacher isn’t scary. She’s a homey, lovely old woman whose wrinkles come from a lifetime of smiling. She’s the type to bring you sweet, homemade pastries that are almost as warm as her hugs during the toughest parts of the semester. Which makes the moments when she’s unhappy all the more painful. It’s not her fear that plagues you, but disappointment. 

The door clicks open, and you have no more time to ponder your failures as a musician. You gather your things and head inside. Nothing inside her office has changed since the previous week. The same teetering stack of well-loved method books sits on her chair, the same humidifier whirring steadily in the corner, the same Dr. Kim Hyung-Seo sitting on the piano bench. 

“Good afternoon, y/n! How’s the Bach coming along?” She asks, like you haven’t spent the past week treating this piece like your mortal enemy. She takes a sip of her warm chamomile tea, from the same snowman-shaped mug that she’s used every week, because she is that endearing. In another life, she would probably be your grandmother. 

“Good morning. Ah, you know…” You trail off and gesture into the air, trying to hide your grimace. How could you possibly describe the unease and unsureness around performing without crossing some kind of professional boundary? 

“Let’s hear it, it’s okay. Are you all warmed up?” You nod as you unpack your things again. As you move to put the Bach score on the music stand, she tuts. 

“Didn’t we agree that this would be memorized last week?” Dr. Kim flips through her lesson notes, inky blue scrawling over the pages. “Yeah, it should be memorized. Close the score, darling.” Usually, when Dr. Kim calls you darling, warmth unfurls in your chest and you beam. You’re not feeling particularly warm right now. 

“Ah, okay…” With slow reluctance, you close the score, the plain paper cover mocking you. You lift your bow to your violin, and shut your eyes. You don’t want to watch this. 

~

Yoongi (4:38pm): Hey 

Yoongi (4:38pm): wanna study tonight :] 

If there’s anything Yoongi is good at, it’s having perfect timing. You half-walk, half-run out of the music building, sucking frigid air into your lungs. The cold weather seems to force the tears back into your eyes. If there was ever a worst-case scenario for how a lesson could go, then that was what just played out in the music room. 

Shutting your eyes won’t stop the barrage of images, playing the world’s cruelest slideshow behind your eyelids. Your teacher’s pursed lips, the still fingers clasped over her mug, the pinched brow. 

“y/n, we don’t have much more time to clean it up…” Her words echo in your head. “We’ll try again next week…” The disappointment was the worst thing, the downward tone in her voice. “I expected better…” 

You (5:15pm): maybe 

You (5:15pm): what time? 

  Yoongi (5:20pm): like now 

Yoongi (5:23pm): are you busy? 

  You (5:25pm): no I just finished up a lesson 

You (5:26pm): i’m about to study in the library if you want to join me 

  Yoongi (5:30pm): I don’t want to go to the library :( 

  You (5:31pm): why not 

  Yoongi (5:32pm): if I feed you dinner will you come to my apartment 

Yoongi (5:33pm): I really don’t want to walk to the library it’s too damn cold 

  After all, the best way to a woman's heart is through her stomach.

  You (5:35pm): fine 

You (5:35pm): it better be a hell of a dinner 

  Yoongi (5:36pm): of course it will 

Yoongi sends you his location, and you’re walking as fast as you can through the campus to make it to his apartment before you can freeze your fingers off. 

~

Yoongi’s expression is nothing short of scandalized when you show up at his door. It’s a typical mouse hole apartment, his front door identical to all the other ones that you’d passed to get here. 

“You’re not wearing gloves? In this weather?” 

“I don’t have any…” You rasp out. You’re tired. Your throat hurts from trying to hold tears back during your entire lesson, and you have no spirit left to give Yoongi an innuendo-laced comeback. 

I expected better. 

“Oh my god, you’ve been playing violin for how many years and nobody ever told you to wear gloves when it’s cold?” He leads you inside, the warmth abating the cold that’s wormed its way underneath your clothes and into your bones. 

“For God’s sake, y/n, hasn’t anyone ever told you about the importance of blood circulation?” Yoongi clasps your hands between his, rubbing and blowing air on them to warm them up. He doesn’t notice your surprise amid his chastising, muttering something about common sense. You don’t try to keep your guard up this time, just trying to bite tears back at the mention of musicianship. The firm press of his hands grounds you. 

“There.” He smiles, proud of himself. “Warm now?” 

Oh yeah, you’re definitely warm. In every dimension of the word. But you don’t tell him that, so you settle for a weak nod. 

“You can put your stuff there. I’m hungry now, let’s eat first?” You hum in affirmation as you settle your heavy backpack on his cramped couch. 

It turns out that Min Yoongi’s idea of gourmet cooking is heating up two freezer-burnt Hot Pockets while you watch him putter around the tiny kitchenette. This is the first time you’ve ever seen him without his glasses, and this is when you finally internalize that Yoongi will always look good no matter what he does or wears or says. 

“You made it seem like you were cooking,” You say, just to fill the silence. 

“Uhhhh, I don’t know who told you I was capable of cooking, but they were wrong. I can show you a good time in other ways, no?” 

You snort. 

In hopes of saving time, he microwaves both of Hot Pockets at the same time. You silently bristle at the fact that even your dinner is getting more action than you are these days. 

You and Yoongi eat together in his tiny living room, sitting on mismatched stools.  

“How did your lesson go?” Yoongi says, more focused on eating than on you. 

“Oh…” You set your Hot Pocket down, sighing in defeat. The image of Dr. Kim sitting behind the piano bench, her dissatisfaction like a noxious cloud. “I… I…  got ripped apart. I’m a little behind with preparing for the Bach festival, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing I do or prepare will make me less stressed about it.” You slump onto the counter, recounting all the things you did wrong in your lesson today. I expected better. 

“What’s the stress about? We still have over a month, right?” You’re suddenly jealous of Yoongi. His nonchalance, his seemingly constant reassurance that everything is going to be okay. 

“I’m not worried about that… just, no matter how much I practice, I’m gonna fuck it up on stage.” Your forehead pinches in frustration. 

“Are you that nervous?” 

“I’ve always been this nervous. For any performance. I haven’t performed alone in a while… and you know. It’s Bach, and everyone expects me to do some amazing job, and it’s like, I don’t know if I can deliver that and-” Yoongi eases his hand on your shoulder, calm, reassuring. He looks concerned. Like he cares. Like a friend. 

“When was the last time you played something just for the fun of it?”

“I don’t know, maybe my freshman year? I used to arrange themes from movies.” 

“We should work on something together, just for fun. We’re such a perfect instrument combo, there’s so much repertoire for violin and piano.” 

“What did you have in mind? Do you even have enough time for that?” (You know you don’t have enough time for that.) 

“It doesn’t even have to be a difficult piece. It could be something easy or hard, I don’t care.” Yoongi ponders his next words over a bite of his food. “I… I... just want to see you less stressed out. And music should always be fun, not just for a grade. What kind of music would you be making if you weren’t happy?” 

“I don’t know…” 

“I know this one Brahms piece that I think you’d like. Totally fits your vibe. We can just work on it slowly, you know? Or we could arrange the Anpanman theme song, I don’t care.” 

~

“I think I’m mostly good for the midterm, except for the composer dates,” Yoongi spins around in his office chair, dragging his feet on the ground. 

“Me too,” You say, as you drink in the sight of his room. For someone who claims to abhor studying and all things academic, Yoongi appears to be quite the organized student. Despite the constant claim that his education is merely a necessary evil, he keeps his notes organized in uniform binders on a well-cared for bookshelf. The bookshelf is adjacent to the extremely detailed wall calendar, marked full with due dates and deadlines in pens of various colors. 

He runs his fingers over the binders to locate the binder allocated to the species counterpoint class you’re taking together. 

“I already have flashcards for everything before the Romantic Era, but I’m so fucked for everything else.” 

“Why not just use Quizlet like everyone else?” You say. You eye his neatly made bed and the Kumamon stuffed animal shoved hastily underneath it. 

“Back in my day, we used flashcards like cavemen,” Yoongi reasons, despite the fact that your birthdays are months within each other. “And besides, they feel better in your hand.” Of course, they’re indexed by color and musical era. 

~

“Ugh, I hate sitting at my desk. My back is starting to hurt,” Yoongi says, despite having worked for about ten minutes. “Do you want to lay down?” He pats the fluffy comforter adjacent to him. Yoongi doesn’t wait for your response however, plopping down on the bed with an audible thump. 

“Okay, old man,” You jibe, but you’ve also been sitting for a majority of the day. Your back is aching too, but you’ll never admit it to him. 

Sometimes, at times like these, you wish you could just muster up the courage and stop playing this game of cat and mouse with him. When you lay on his sheets that smell like him, quizzing each other, you wonder what would happen if you confessed your feelings for him, right then and there. 

Or outlined exactly how exactly you would take his cock in your mouth, given the chance. Other times, you consider the fact that he might like to play with his food before diving in. Whatever it was, it scared you, the unease climbing up your spine and staying put. 

You wonder if he understands the implication of you so casually lounging on his bed, but then you realize that you likely don’t exist in the realm of romantic possibilities for him. He likely sees you as the nerdy, sexless violinist that spends all her time slaving away in the practice room or the library. That’s why you’re here, after all. To help study for the midterms coming up. “Being friends with him is better than nothing,” you tell yourself, but you can’t really bring yourself to believe it. 

You don’t remember, or at least don’t care to, when Yoongi started touching every aspect of your life. It’s really only been a couple of weeks since the two of you started studying together. You don’t dare to imagine how much of your thoughts he would occupy if you continue your friendship into the coming months. If your crush of massive proportions was bad before, it’s truly out of hand now. It certainly didn’t help that he actually knew you existed now. He spammed you gifs of baby animals while he was on the way to class, texted you links to performances of pieces that he was working on. He even began to send you teasing texts on the mornings that he made it to the practice rooms before you. 

Every experience you have is colored by thoughts of him. The coffee that you drink like ambrosia conjures up images of him sitting across from you in some far-off sunlit cafe, laughing at all your jokes. On the nights when sleep escapes  you, you lay awake rehashing over and over what you had said to him on the previous day. You even fall into reveries when he’s sitting there right next to you. 

 It’s inescapable, especially with the Bach Festival looming over your head. The more time you spend in the practice room, the more you go back to that one fateful night. You can still see the image of him now, sitting before the piano, playing Chopsticks. 

You both make your way through the fat deck of flashcards, Yoongi quizzing you first. 

“J.S. Bach?” You note to yourself even the upswing in his voice was cute. How did you ever let yourself get so whipped?

“1685 to…” You falter, still stuck on his voice. Even his voice drives you crazy. 

“Come on, you should know this.” He drives his point home by poking you in the side, and he likes the gasp that you make. 

“1750.” Of course you know Bach’s birth and death dates by heart. You see it every time you open up your score. Even the scant prod he gave you in the side, over your clothes, is enough to make your skin heat up. 

“And if you ever tickle me again, you won’t live long enough for midterms,” You threaten, but your harsh tone of voice doesn’t reach the light in your eyes. 

“Brahms?” 

“Ugh, fuck, I don’t know. 1832 to?” 

“Wrong.” He sets the cards down next to him, looking at you in mock disappointment. In an instant, he attacks you with tickles, and your efforts to bat him away are fruitless. 

“This-this is what you get for not knowing when Brahms was born! Learn through punishment! 1833 to 1897, remember that next time!!” He collapses on top of you, burying his face in your neck, unrelenting. Yoongi sounds almost gleeful in your torture. 

You writhe under his touch, and for all the wrong reasons. 

For the first time in your life, you’re almost glad you’re ticklish. Your eyes roll back into your head, not of your own accord. It’s too much, the soft skin of his cheek pressed up against your neck, the warm weight of his body against yours, the way his legs cage you in. A moan slips in between your helpless giggles, and Yoongi doesn’t miss it. 

“Uhhh, what was that?” He doesn’t stop, merciless in his advance. “I didn’t know you liked tickling… like that.” He’s teasing you, now. He can’t hide his pleased grin. 

Between gasps, you manage to pant, “I… don’t…” 

“Then what? Tell me.” That’s when Yoongi relents, leaning back. He continues to straddle you, because he’s cruel like that. (And because he likes it too.)

“You’re just… ugh, I don’t know… so close.” In Yoongi’s eyes, you’re a study in debauchery. From your struggle, your hair is mussed, the hem of your shirt awry. Your cheeks are flushed, from embarrassment or from the tickling, you don’t know. Your chest frantically rises and falls, trying to regain your breath. 

You, on the other hand, feel fucking ridiculous. Contrary to popular belief, being on the recieving end of tickling is fucking physically exhausting. 

Yoongi is stuck on the hot and bothered look on your face, except for the hard look in your eye. You despise being tickled, even if it is Min Yoongi doing the tickling. He wonders what you’d look like if you were underneath him in… different circumstances. 

Would it compare? 

“I… I… I just…” You avert your gaze now, hiding your face behind your hands. You can’t stand to look at him right now. 

“Spill it, or I’ll go back to tickling you until you break.” He grabs your hands away from your face, pinning them next to your head. 

He really isn’t going to make this easy for you, is he. 

This is overwhelming. The eye contact is too much. The weight of his hands on your wrists, holding you down, is too much. The way his panting breath tickles the skin beneath your collar is too much. You’ve had a bad day, the voice in the back of your head whispers. He makes you forget how awful this semester has been. He makes you feel better. Make this day easier on yourself. Just give in. 

There’s no hiding it now, you concede. 

You shut your eyes, unable to face him. “It’s just… been a while.” 

“Uh-huh. Continue?” He places his hands back on your stomach, as if in warning. 

“Since uhhhh… I’ve done… anything… with anyone…” Your words hang heavy in the air. Your secret is out. 

He laughs. He really has the audacity to laugh. 

“Shut up! I’m just like, touch starved, okay?” You’re definitely just blushing out of embarrassment, at this point. 

Yoongi starts to ponder if he crossed too far of a line, but you continue anyway.�� You huff, indignant and desperate to cover your ass. This is not how you ever imagined telling Yoongi you were ever interested in him, sexual or not. 

“Not everyone is like, the campus pussy magnet and gets to fuck whenever they want,” You say. 

He rolls his eyes. “Okay, I’m not the campus pussy magnet. We’re... not so different. I haven’t been with anyone, um, in a while.” Now Yoongi takes his turn to blush and stutter. He does that thing he always does when he’s nervous, runs a hand through his hair and lets it rest on the nape of his neck.  

“I find that hard to believe. No need to lie out of pity. Like, come on. Look at you. You’re all…” You gesture down his body, “And you have that whole vibe going on, and you’re tall, and you have good taste in cologne, and-and-and you play the piano , and ugh. You should know that by now.” You babble on. You’re not that good at keeping secrets, anyway. Might as well let the cat out of the bag while you’re at it. 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, but you’re not fazed. By now, you’re used to the long silences that elapse when you’re with him. You wait for him to talk first, just so you can discreetly enjoy the feeling of him straddling you for a little longer. You try to pass off the silence as you quietly fuming at him for calling out your lackluster sex life, but you’re really just trying get yourself together. 

Then he starts laughing. Again.  

“What are you laughing for now?” Your brow furrows in frustration. 

“Nothing, nothing, don’t be mad. I just didn’t think that tickling would be a turn on for you.” 

“It’s not!” 

“To be completely honest with you, you look like one of those really innocent soft girls on the outside but you’re actually like, into choking and have a secret sex dungeon.” He doesn’t seem to care that you’ve all but revealed your massive, terminal crush on him. 

You sigh, but you’re just glad he gave you something to fire back with. 

“You and I both know that the university dorms are too small for a sex dungeon, Yoongi. I can’t even have candles in my room. What sex dungeon is complete without candles?” 

“Oh, a devil in the details. The ambiance is important, I see…” That devious smile of his makes a comeback. 

“Oh, shut up. Give me the flashcards, four-eyes.” He relinquishes the flashcards, but he still continues to straddle you. 

“Woah, there’s no need to insult my glasses.”

You ignore him, desperate to move on from your momentary lapse in judgement. “Haydn?”

“1732 to 1809. What about music? Music must be important if you care about the ambiance. Answer my question.” 

You laugh to cover up how worked up you are. “Maybe you can find out after we finish reviewing. Scarlatti?” 

“1660 to 1725. What kind of music do you listen to? R&B, something sexy?” He sits up now, spurred on by your refusal to answer his questions. 

“Or do you listen to classical music then, too? Does Chopin get your blood flowing?” He’s being insufferable now.

You groan into the pillow. “Yoongiii, let’s focus.” 

“If it’s something like Liszt, I’m sure I have a couple recommendations.” 

Yoongi sits up straighter, waggles his eyebrows in a way you definitely shouldn’t find endearing. “Or, I could record something for you…” 

You snap. “Just, I don’t know, sometimes I listen to music?” Your attempts to stop the blushing are in vain, heat blooming across your cheeks and down your neck. It’s even harder to stop when it’s your embarrassingly short sexual history on the line. 

“I prefer dirty talk anyways…” You murmur under your breath, wishing he could just get the fuck off your case. The more he keeps talking about things like this, in that tone of voice, the harder it’s going to get to keep your ever-growing crush a secret. 

Still, some small part (let’s be honest, the monkey brain part of you) of you, the part of you that aches for him, wants to spur him on. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing! Nothing.” 

“Hmm… something about dirty talk?” Fuck, does Yoongi have a good ear. He smiles. He knows he’s gotten you now. 

Okay, you should probably admit to yourself that he’s flirting with you now. The touches, the holding you down, the insistence on pushing this tiny matter, it all adds up. And the math says that Min Yoongi is flirting with you. 

“Mmm, nothing.” You snuggle a little deeper into his bedsheets, playing coy.

“You know, like during sex? Don’t make me tickle you again, because I will stoop that low.” 

“I don’t remember saying that…” You mock-pretend to ponder his question, catch your bottom lip between your teeth. Out of the corner of your eye, you can see his gaze fall downward. You know you’ve gotten him now. 

“Can you refresh my memory?” 

“Like… you know.” He shrugs. 

“I’m an auditory learner. Do you have an example?” 

“Hmm, let me think… I’ll tease you until you’re begging for me to touch you properly? Does that ring a bell for you?” 

“No…” You bring your hands to your face to cover up your blush, and because you can’t stand to look at him. Not when he’s talking to you like that, with that look in his eye, his hands on your body. “It doesn’t…” You laugh, even beneath his weight. 

He laughs. “I���m just teasing. You’re so cute when I get a rise out of you.” 

Oh. 

[jj-ktae]

Protect me not - Chapter 1 -

Title : Protect me not Genre : Soldier!Au, Action, Angst, Fluff Pairing : Mark Tuan x Fem!Reader Words : 3597 Summary : You’re just a university student, they are part of a hidden force in the Army. Their duty is to protect you from the people who want you dead. Their plan? Do whatever it takes to succeed. It’s the very first time they get handed such a job, so it’s no surprise when one of them gets involved more than he should be. 

AN : It’s a rewrite from a series I started back in 2016 on another website so if you already saw this around the internet, don’t freak out.

Every chapter will have a picture, always ‘from the past’ and in different locations all over the world. Obviously, the locations won’t match with where the pictures were actually taken. I will use them as photos taken during previous missions. 

Credit to @softseunies​ for the picture! 

Teaser / 

Chapter 1 

“Food is the best.” Seven boys are walking down the streets, enjoying a well-deserved day off. It’s a sunny day with many people walking around, something they have yet to get accustomed to.

It’s been two days. Two days of coming back to old habits and finding peace in the comfort of their home.

“Jackson, you got drunk so many times that I’m surprised you are still alive.” One boy answers, tone mocking.

“It’s not like we almost all died because of Bambam.” A third person adds.

“It’s not my fault!” Said Bambam sounds outraged, his accent getting thicker with each word. “You tell me to press the detonator, so I press the detonator! This is because the initial plan was a failure. Jinyoung thought we could kill twenty Russian Mercenaries in fifteen minutes…no wonder we almost died.” Bambam adds, tone accusing.

“The plan was just fine!” Jinyoung snaps, “If Youngjae could actually use a computer, it would have been easier for you.” His mocking tone makes them laugh.

“I can use a computer, not a Russian computer. Yugyeom played online games and it all turned gibberish!” Youngjae is quick to answer, hitting Jinyoung on the back with a loud scoff.

“It doesn’t matter, we’re all here, right? You’re so tiring, kids.” One very annoyed boy chirps in, jaw tensed and eyes dark.

Jackson agrees, repeating the same sentence in a falsely angry tone, sticking his tongue playfully toward the rest and laughing when a couple of cursing words are thrown his way.

“As I said,” Jaebeom adds lowly, “you’re so tiring.” He opens the entrance door of a little building, trying to busy himself with anything else but the constant bickering of the boys he calls his team.

“Well, I miss Russian women.” Bambam presses on the elevator’s button, mouth curving upwards and eyebrow wiggling.

Jinyoung snorts, rolling his eyes because how on earth did Bambam become such a womanizer?

“Mark was the luckiest, and he didn’t even touch any of them.” Jaebum muses before wriggling his brows at the latter, who still hasn’t uttered a word.

“So much for calling them kids…” Said boy barely sighs, not the least surprised by their behaviour.

None of them are normal.

Jackson puts an arm around his shoulders comfortingly, whispering about how much of a pro his friend is.

“I don’t get how you can think about this even when you have guns put on your temple.” Mark answers, eyeing the boys as they are busy mimicking weird dance moves.

They shrug, not getting how much of a problem it is to think about their needs, no matter the situation.

“If we could put all the shit off of your head, they would be room for a real brain, actually.” Mark’s comment makes them laugh, not the least annoyed by what he implies.

“Bastard.” Is the only answer he receives.

The day is quiet, with no major events and too much noise. The group of boys barely came back from their last mission and can finally rest – and Jaebeom would hardly call it that way if you ask him – while doing nothing.

But it never stays that way.

“Come here! The major is on the phone.” Jaebum’s voice makes them stop to go to the living-room, where he is sitting on the huge couch, eyes serious.

“Sir, yes sir! Private Im Jae beom speaking.”

They all hear some shuffling on the phone, followed by quick whispering. The major looks busy sorting things out so they keep quiet, waiting for what seems to be important enough to call them while they’re off-duty.

“You’ll be on duty starting tomorrow. The next mission is in South-Korea. The name’s Y/N. She’s 25 and is a university student at Korea University. The mission is to Keep her safe. I sent the mission’s content to Private Choi Young Jae. You have until tomorrow to agree on a plan. If the target dies, we all die. You’re all dismissed.”

Youngjae is quick to grab is laptop. His fingers fly on the keyboard while the rest gathers around him. He opens a file that turned them all silent, too busy reading.

Y/N, 25 years old. University student. Main mission: Infiltrate the university and keep her alive. Second mission: Discover the secret behind a chemical medicine called Orion. Means: Full permission.

You are all part of the university now.

Im Jaebum: University supervisor Mark Tuan: Student, International Transfer from the US. Jackson Wang: Student, International Transfer from HONG KONG Park Jinyoung: In charge of tutoring and academic support. Choi Youngjae: Information Technology worker. Bambam: Student, International Transfer from THAILAND Kim Yugyeom: Security volunteer.

Here is a file with all the information about the target and your false profiles.

They all look at each other.

“Looks like a shitty mission.” Jackson says.

“I’d rather go back to Russia. What do I do, do I tell them not to run in the hall?” Yugyeom sighs, not the least convinced.

Mark points at Jackson and Bambam who bat their lashes at him before coughing loudly, not liking the team choice.

“You three are too unstable to actually work at a university.” Jaebum seems to hear Mark’s silent plea and smirks when the later closes his eyes, already done with them.

Y/N lives in Apgujeong, Gangnam. No relatives. One friend: Kim Yebin. Majoring in Marketing. Working part-time at a convenience store in Apgujeong. Background: Dr Cheol’s daughter and only alive member of his family. Here is a picture. She mustn’t discover about the mission. You will be dismissed as soon as she knows it.

Tomorrow, 8 a.m., Korea University.

PS: Report is every night at 9 PM

“That’s all?” Jinyoung says. He doesn’t know about what they should do, but he can already tell this isn’t going to be easy.

“I’m going to be a university student!” Bambam boasts, already overly confident because he is going to be such a perfect student, he can’t wait.

If only they knew.

*-*

It’s barely 8a.m when you hear your best friend complain loudly. The day barely started, but all she can do is whine at how you didn’t let her grab some random guy at a party. Her voice is too high for someone who woke up less than an hour ago.

“Better thank me rather than sulking. If it wasn’t for me, you’d have slept with him.” You stop midway in the stairs to point a judging finger at her dishevelled state.

She starts sulking, her face a tad swollen from her wild night.

“You have a boyfriend! Next time you want to do this, just…don’t do it while I’m here.”

“But you’re my best friend!”

“That’s right, that’s what best-friends are for, Yebin.” You conclude, feeling apologetic because Yebin totally looks exhausted despite her silly grin. “My first class is English. How about you?”

“Economy. Meet you at 12, same place?”

You wave at her, hurrying before it gets too late. The class is barely filled with students when you enter the room, head dipping in your bag and feet fast as you pick a sit somewhere calm.

Calm is what you aim for, no matter what.

It has been that way ever since your father died. Well, even before that, considering he spent most of his life locked in his laboratory to work on things that were out of your reach.

When he died, you decided to continue your own way, because there wasn’t a lot you could do anyway. You were not sad nor happy, and every day was more like a calm road. University was great so far because there were so many people that you were barely noticeable in the crowd.

English is the most bearable class and you could even sleep, sometimes. As the teacher enters, a simple wave serves as a greeting before a suitcase falls on the long desk.

“We’ll be working on a text about stock exchange and monetary system. I’ll put the course on the internet platform so just take notes.” A huge text appears on the whiteboard and the teacher sits, ready to read the exact same sentences with a monotone voice.

You take your laptop off your bag and start taking notes but it ends up looking like a mess when you notice you won’t be able to concentrate.

And you can totally thank the three boys in front of you for making things harder than they already are.

“Fuck you, I don’t understand!” One very agitated young guy whispers, hair wild and clothes shiny.

“Shut up, just sit down.” The second guy answers. He looks bored and it seems his arms are crossed over his chest in a laid-back manner.

“I’m going to hit you, Bam.” The third one is a bit bustier, you notice it from the way his arm looks huge as his head rests over his hand.

“I’m Thai! How would I know about Sock exchange!”

One of them whispers a soft it’s stock exchange, making the guy laugh, not even embarrassed.

You shake your head, blaming your lack of concentration on the lack of sleep. You can do this. You can totally listen to-

“What’s the point in taking this class if I can’t follow.” You end up glancing again just as the agitated guy leans, arms going behind his head.

You don’t remember seeing them and you’ve been taking this class for quite a few years now.

The teacher starts explaining about what you’ll have to do for the next class, which includes a series of questions about the text and a presentation of the stock exchange and how you think it would work, based on three big companies of your choice.

You sigh yet don’t stop typing, not ready to spend more sleepless nights. You hear the guys in front of you complain about having homework while the skinny one laughs and when the busty guy tries to kick him under the table, his arms almost knock your laptop over the little desk. He turns around hastily.

“Sorry! Did I break it?” You are finally able to see his face, surprised by his perfect switch into another language to address you.

You just shake your head and the guy gives you his best goofy smile. “It’s boring, right?” He adds before the quiet guy’s voice cuts him, icy. You’re not sure but he seems to be talking about distracting other students.

“I almost broke her laptop! Just listen and leave me alone!” He raises some protective arm and proceeds to engage in a heated argument with his friend about how university is also supposed to be about being friendly.

You stay put, blinking at the two when a deep and icy voice startles you. He seems to be trying to threaten his friends but they barely listen to him and soon the guy turns again, hand going up in a polite manner.

“My name’s Bambam, I’m a transfer student from Thailand.” He extends his hand, smile cheeky yet looking genuinely friendly.

“Y/N” He nods and shakes your palm, his eyes shining. He gives you one last smile before turning around, avoiding his two friends’ death glare.

When the class ends, you were barely done answering the questions and your text was full of mistakes. You give up, putting your stuff back into your bag and proceed to go to your next class.

Marketing Analytics.

You enter an almost empty class – the fact that it was abnormally hard to score good grades with that evil teacher probably the reason why no one was picking this subject. You let your bag rest on one of the tables at the far end of the room and sit leisurely, ready to fight against sleepiness.

A hand on your arm makes you look up, hand freezing on your laptop.    

“You’re taking this class, too!” This Bambam guy is back, with his white teeth and extraordinary fancy clothes.

“Yes, why?”

“Just sayin’. Can I sit here?” He sits down without waiting for an answer, making you narrow your eyes at the sudden intrusion.

“It’s our first day here. We need to make friends, right?” Bambam giggles, stopping when he hears exasperated sighs. You both look to the side, slowly

His two friends are literally glaring at him.

“Come and sit with us, at the front.” The quiet guy is looking at him like he is dead meat but Bambam brushes him off, already dismissing the other two take a notebook from his shiny backpack. You shrug, turning your laptop on and deciding not to engage in more conversation with the guy in hope he would let you be for the rest of the day. You hear noises and the sound of chairs moving so you assume they decided to join because a second later everything is silent again as the teacher enters.

“We’re going to continue where we left things off. There are, as we saw, tools that can help gauge how successful the marketing of a company is. What I want is the creation of your own tools. Take 4 items, explain them, and send me the report. Since this project is only going to last two hours, you’ll start now and will continue next week. The deadline is the end of next class. You can do it alone or in group. The number doesn’t matter; I just want everybody’s name written.” He puts a blank paper on the first desk and proceeds to go out of the class, leaving the students to discuss things with each other.

“That’s so cool! Let’s team!” Bambam squeals, his hand aiming for your shoulder again and making you flinch.

“I’d rather do it alone…” You try to explain, eyes reaching up to meet the guy’s pouty face and puppy eyes. He blinks cutely, looking hurt and sad to be rejected.

“We started today, we know nothing about last week’s class…” He trails off, hand stopping on his notebook and eyes looking around the room in distress.

“We’ll figure something out, Bam. It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” The busty guy leans and sends you a sorry smile before leaning back again. The piece of papers arrives at his desk and you see him write his name briefly before passing the paper.

Great, now you feel guilty. You sigh inwardly, already regretting what your next words are going to be.

“Ok, let’s do it together. I’m not really good when it comes to Analytics though…” You explain, hoping they won’t hate you later when they’ll discover their grade.

But Bambam dismisses your worries, explaining that Jackson is smart - and even the latter seems surprised by the sudden praise - while jumping on his chair.

You smile at Bambam and chuckle when he reaches for his pen to listen to whatever you’re going to say.

They know a bit about analytics and Bambam was right, Jackson is rather smart. He translated a couple of sentences from English to Korean and it helped them a lot. Bambam noted everything down, teasing his friend yet complimenting his skills. The third one was silent and didn’t say much so she didn’t push him.  The two others were already taking a lot of your space anyway.

You noticed they can be quite noisy, too.

When the class ends, you take your stuff and leave before they can greet you, eager to find your dear peacefulness back.

The three find themselves alone in the classroom and it doesn’t take a minute before Mark speaks, shaking his head and looking terribly annoyed by the situation “If we weren’t in a university, I would have already attached you to a car and took the speedway.” He threatens, a hand reaching for his scalp to rub his locks messily.

“We need to make sure she’s alive! What’s so bad about being friends with her? It’s not like we can stalk her! We’re not in battlefield, y’know.” Bambam answers defensively.

“I thought he was crazy at first, but it makes sense. We can’t stalk a girl like that. She might think we’re crazy, but at least we’re crazy friendly, not crazy creepy.” Jackson adds, trying to calm an obviously fuming Mark.

“We can’t be too close. Did you forget that she can’t know about this?” Mark tries to explain, feeling like he will not have a choice in what is going to happen starting now.

“You’re the weird one. We’ll watch out for her, that’s all.” Jackson concludes, putting a hand around Bambam’s shoulder as the two proceed to leave the classroom.

Picking these three as students wasn’t just some random idea from their hierarchy. The reason behind such a choice also had to do with the fact that each private had its specialty. Each of them had something they were the best at and with Jackson, Bambam and Mark watching after you, it was going to be complicated for anyone to hurt you without ending with broken limbs or a hole in their body.

Jackson is specialised in Martial art. His knowledge of the combat techniques is beyond anyone else and his agility makes it hard for anyone to win a fight.

Bambam is an expert of weaponry. His love and knowledge about guns put him in charge of supplying the group, just like his skills in craftsmanship which makes him unbeatable in this field.

Mark’s situation is not the same. He has a different background and a different path, one that doesn’t put him on the same page as the others.

Because Mark is nothing but an ex-assassin.

It doesn’t make him unskilled or incapable of protecting a target and on the contrary, his ability to do whatever is takes to succeed a mission makes him one of the most dangerous to deal with. He also has a thing for cutlery, something that he explains as something that had to do with his past.

Making the three of them the closest persons to the target wasn’t just out of pure luck and with them, you are the safest girl around town.

You meet a yawning Yebin during lunch, eating leisurely and looking as done as ever.

“I can’t believe I survived a 4 hours long Economy class.” She sighs, stretching slowly and groaning when a couple of bones crack in the process.

You laugh, “I survived a bunch of weird guys, today.” You explain, grabbing your food quietly. “Transferred students.”

Yebin can only laugh tiredly, fork dipping into your lunchbox to steal some food. “Life is hard.”

*-*

“We can’t even hang out with the guys because of their schedule.” Jackson complains as he gives his friends their sandwich.

“Seven new guy students together is a bit too difficult to hide anyway.” Bambam answers, aiming for a calm spot to eat.

Mark is silent, eyes scanning the unknown place because all of this is so not familiar. Students run, others are asleep in the park, he can see guys flirting with girls, others playing football.

He sees his two colleagues go toward the park and follows, glancing around from time to time. He is not used to such commotion, unless it comes from a battlefield or a fight. This place makes him go on alert so much, because everything is unpredictable and he feels like something would run into him any minute. He sees the target with her friend and puts a hand on Bambam, signalling him to aim for a spot not far from the two.

“She’s at 6, don’t turn around, Bam.” Jackson says, looking at his food. “I suppose it’s Kim Yebin.” he adds.

Bambam groans “I wanna see too! Is she hot?”

“Can you stop this?” Mark turns to them. “We don’t give a shit if they’re hot.”

“Correction: You don’t give a shit. We do. We get stuck with you party pooper and we don’t even get to check out on girls.” Bambam claps his hands at Jackson’s sharp comment, nodding in appreciation.

Mark gets up silently and leaves the two guys, which doesn’t even worry them. Bambam grabs the opportunity to sit next to Jackson before grabbing his pink sunglasses to let them rest on his nose.

“Is this your cover? You look stupid, Bam.”

Mark decides he’d be better off alone. He isn’t surprised when his friends don’t try to stop him.  It’s a habit; he’d leave to go on his own and appear when help was needed. Mark isn’t one to put up with such stupidity and he knows better than strangle them in public, so might as well isolate himself and check on the girl alone.

He sits in another corner where he could see her without revealing himself. She is chatting happily, smiling and pushing the other girl whose cheeks are turning red from all the laugh.

She looks like a normal girl.

What could possibly be the cause of such a mission?

Mark tries and observes. He looks at the way she stares at the crowd, how her hands play with her jacket, but nothing strikes him. You’re just a university student. Mark isn’t one to think for too long. His thing is running in the heap, cutting bodies and finishing the work, making sure everyone was still alive.

Jinyoung calls him the Punisher because he is killing faster than a heartbeat, or so to speak. He isn’t just an emotionless military dog, but his character is one of an executor, and it had been this way for 10 years now. Thinking of a plan is usually Jaebeom’s role, his objective being making sure nothing could stop them. Mark sighs when he understands he’d only be baby-sitting. 

What a shitty mission.

-

[mydarlingvioletine]

‘Just a Puppy Crush’

Ship(s): Violet/Clementine

Media: The Walking Dead Game (Season 4)

Summary: a zombie-less modern AU in which two dorks finally get together with the help of their friends.

                        Chapter 1

It started out with an invitation Violet found on her desk. A light purple envelope, her name written on it in beautiful calligraphy.

                 Well, it started a little bit before that.

Violet missed her alarm. And six of the backup ones she had set in advance. Her mother had left early for her shift at the diner and her father didn’t come home last night, so she slept peacefully and uninterrupted.

Until she lazily stretched out with a yawn, eyes opening and landing on the alarm clock across her.

                     7:20

She hardly had time to register what it said before the alarm started angrily beeping again.

        “Holy shit… Fuck… Shit!” Violet scrambled to get up, smacking the top of the alarm clock to silence the robotic screaming. She threw her sheets to the side, grabbing her jacket off the door hook on the way out.

While vigorously brushing her teeth, she looked down at her phone.

            15 missed messages from Pain in My Ass.

[ur uber is Here… am outside]

[got your drink & bagel, where are u?]

[viiiioooooleeet]

[ v i o l e t ]

[did you put the key in a different spot?]

[coward.]

Violet scrolled through the herd impatiently, getting to the latest messages, about 15 minutes ago.

[violet please fucking get up i didnt do my english homework i need to copy off of you marlon won’t let me copy his anymore]

[fuck i have to go i cant be late to pre-session but I’ll have brody come check on you to see if you can make the late entrance with her! ill keep your breakfast with me im sure mr. everett wouldn’t give a shit if you ate in class. i do it all the time]

          As if on cue, there was a faint, nervous knock on the door. God bless Brody.

“Be right there!” Violet shouted, quickly throwing her work messily into her backpack. She grabbed a couple dollars off the kitchen table for lunch, threw on her boots, and booked it towards the door.

     "Hey,“ Brody grinned at the shaggy-haired, droopy-eyed messy Violet in front of her. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

Violet grimaced, mumbling to herself as she ducked into the passenger seat of Brody’s truck. She caught a glimpse of herself in the rearview mirror, and pulled up the hoodie of her jacket to cover her shame.

         The drive felt like forever, with Brody’s insufferable choice of music. Who still listens to Coldplay? In 2019? Violet was too grateful to complain, and clenched her jaw to hold her tongue.

Brody tried to hold a conversation, but Violet was too out of it to contribute anything other than nods and the occasional “mhm.”

      “Then Marlon was mad at me! I can’t believe that guy. I swear, if he wasn’t my best friend I’d…” Brody’s voice petered out as she pulled into the school parking lot, backing into her spot next to Louis’ car.

Violet immediately jumped out, gave a quick “thankyousomuchioweyouone,” and booked it towards the front doors of the school. The front desk ladies were distracted, so Violet was able to sneak past them and make her way down to the math wing.

            106… 108… 110!

Relieved, Violet peeked through the window, seeing Marlon’s pathetic excuse for a haircut as confirmation that she was at the right place.

     She tried her best to quietly open the door as to not interrupt the class and draw attention to herself, but wasn’t surprised when the door noisily creaked open, everyone’s heads turning towards her.

Really, Ericson? Ever heard of WD 40?

Violet shyly ducked her head, placing herself between Louis and Aasim. Before she could say anything, Louis placed her coffee and bagel on her desk, a patient smile on his face.

         Violet was able to manage a “thank you” while she was scarfing down the bagel. Cheeks full and a dab of cream cheese hanging on her top lip, it’s safe to say that she did not expect Clem to approach her desk at that moment with the worksheet she’d missed.

“Hey, Vi,” Violet’s head jerked up, meeting eyes with Clementine. Embarrassed, she took a tissue and wiped her face, swallowing before she took the worksheet from Clem’s hands. “Grabbed this for you.”

        “Thanks,” Violet managed to stammer, giving a sheepish smile while pulling her pencil case out of her pocket. Clementine hadn’t moved.

Violet tensed up, waiting for Clem to make a comment on her appearance or tease her. Instead, she placed an envelope on top of the worksheet, uncertainty embedded in her actions.

         "Uh, that’s for you. I’m having a birthday party tomorrow night at my house.“ Clem pushed the envelope towards her with emphasis, and cleared her throat nervously. "You don’t have to come if you don’t want. It’s on a Friday night and I know you probably have pla-”

“No,” Violet interrupted her, her voice louder than she anticipated. She received an exhausted look from Mr. Everett. “I’ll totally be there.”

      Clementine immediately perked up, a dorky smile on her face. “Awesome. Oh, and it’s gonna be a sleepover. You don’t have to stay for that.”

Violet frowned, cocking her head and looking at Clem under a suspicious lens. “You don’t have to invite me, y'know.” She sighed, placing the envelope back into Clementine’s hands. “I get it.”

        Clem froze up, visibly upset. “No, fuck. I really want you to come. I just didn’t know if that was your kind of thing.”

Violet, unconvinced, lowered her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. Cold. The heat of Clem’s hand covering her own was a nice contrast to that.

            Wait.

“I want you there,” Clementine insisted, squeezing her hand between her own. The heat from the touch quickly flushed to Violet’s face, her pale skin unable to mask the blush that covered it. “Please come.”

     Louis and Aasim exchanged an annoyed glance at the useless sapphics. Mr. Everett had stood up and taken an interest to their conversation at this point.

“Clem, go back to your seat please,” Mr. Everett cleared his throat, to which Clem recoiled, dropping Violet’s hand. “Violet is more than capable and doesn’t need hands-on help.”

       Clem, face red and flustered, ducked her head and moved back to her seat in the front of the classroom. “Sorry, da- I mean Mr. Everett.” She squeaked, glancing over her shoulder one more time at Violet, uncertainty and sadness on her face.

Mr. Everett continued the lecture, but Violet was too busy staring out the window. She was completely zoned out. She figured she’d just get the notes from Aasim later. She saw Louis give her the occasional worried glance out of the corner of her eye, and kept her focus on the kids playing in the courtyard.

      The class couldn’t have gone any slower, but eventually the bell rang, and all the tension that had built up in Violet’s muscles was relieved.

She didn’t know why this class stressed her out so much. She was pretty good at math, only the second highest grade in the class behind Aasim. Mr. Everett made her feel uneasy.

     He wasn’t a bad guy. Quite the opposite, really. He was a fun teacher who had gone to great lengths to help Violet out with her work. A little by-the-book, but a big sweetheart.

   Plus, he picked on Louis a lot. So he was pretty likeable in her eyes.

Clementine had gone up to Mr. Everett and they were now talking, Clem dropping the classroom decorum to tug on his arm and take a $5 dollar bill out of his wallet for lunch.

        Violet didn’t realize she was staring until both of their gazes landed on her. Startled, she pulled her hoodie back over her head and started gathering her books as quick as she could. She could hear distant murmuring, but couldn’t make anything out.

Her panic was interrupted by Louis swinging an arm around Violet’s shoulders, holding an almost identical envelope up in front of her face, but it was green.

     "If it’s about transportation, I can pick you up. C'mon, the Vi I know and love would never miss out on a chance to get her ass handed to her in Super Smash Bros.“ Louis teased, earning a playful punch on the shoulder from Violet.

"Yeah, right,” Violet rolled her eyes, looking over at Aasim to see he also had one, but orange. “You going?”

       "Nah, my moms are taking me camping this weekend.“ Aasim chirped, a glint of mischievousness in his voice. Noticing the curious glances from his two friends, he cracked an evil grin and spoke one word. "Campfire.”

“Smokey the Bear, Aasim,” Violet giggled, shaggy hair falling in front of her eyes. “What can you do to prevent forest fires?”

       Louis laughed while Aasim rolled his eyes, picking up his backpack and swinging it over his shoulder. “I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

Aasim was gone for what seemed like half a second when Clementine appeared at her desk again, followed by Mr. Everett. Violet froze, her grip on her books tight.

      “My dad wants to introduce himself. Not as Mr. Everett, but as ‘Cool Dad Lee.’” Clem raised her hands to make air quotes, while Le- Mr. Everett held out his hand to shake Violets’.

        Bewildered, she shook his hand.

“Hello, Violet,” Mr. Everett looked happy, glancing between Clem and she. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

      That line earned an elbow in the stomach from Clementine. Violet, still frozen, gave a robotic laugh.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you to ignore that part of the envelope where it says 'presents mandatory.’ My mom is a bit of a smart-ass.” Clem snorted, before cocking an eyebrow over at Louis. “Not you though, rich boy.”

       Louis gave her some finger guns, a big, goofy smile on his face. “Respect for that.”

The second bell rang, interrupting the conversation. Violet threw her backpack over her shoulder, and shot a glance towards Louis. “Fuck, Ms. Martin is gonna be so pissed.”

       "I’ll write you a pass. Don’t worry about it.“ Mr. Everett pulled a notepad out of his pocket and took the pen that was perched on Clementine’s ear. "Just.. try to make sure he actually gets there.” Mr. Everett gestured to Louis, who gave a mock gasp at the implication.

“Will do,” Violet promised, grabbing Louis by the neck of his coat. “I’ll uh.. see you two tomorrow night.”

      “You’re coming?” Clem squealed, her eyes giving away how happy she was. Violet nodded sheepishly, looking back at Mr. Everett before dragging Louis out of the classroom.

“I like that girl,” Lee stated, capitalizing on the blush that had taken over Clem’s cheeks. “Reminds me of someone.”

     Clementine rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, tapping her foot impatiently as he made up a pass for her. “That’s good…”

Lee tore off the front page of the notepad, and held it high before giving it to Clem. “You have my blessing.”

Clementine’s flustered state turned into a fit of anger, as she jumped up to try and grab the pass out of his hand. “Shut. Up.” Clem grabbed onto the slip, wrenching it out of his arm. “I introduce you as my Cool Dad and this is how you repay me?”

      Lee chuckled, putting the pen back behind her ear. “If you think I’m bad, just wait ‘til Carley sees her.. Oh, boy.. Her cheeks are gonna be red from all that pinching.”

Clementine huffed and stomped out of the classroom, putting all of her weight onto her prosthetic foot, so it noisily clattered. She kept up the noise until she knew she was out of ear shot, and smiled to herself, bunching the bottom of her sweatshirt up in her hands.

          Her seventeenth birthday was going to be perfect.

[hey-hey-chan]

Grincherella - Chan

❀ Comedy/fluff/romance with a dash of angst (Cinderella AU)

❀ Word count: 9, 284 

❀ It is THAT time of year again, yes, Christmas season and y/n seems to hate everything and anyone who talks about it. Once she is forced to attending a Christmas party, she is forced to sing, onstage, with the cute boy in her psych class. But the thing is: he doesn’t recognize her. Will she finally let go of her troubled past and present or will she let her insecurities haunt her forever?

❀ A/N: ummmm a mix between Cinderella and High School Musical ? idk what i was thinking but i felt nostalgic i guess .,,, this is the longest fic i’ve EVER written pLEASE dont let this flop AHAHAHA /sweats/ but i also feel bad for making u sit through 9k words /sweats again/ so do what u want i guess

P.S I LOVE YOU ALL! this is a treat for you guys who have been missing my writing!! now im on break so im back in the game !! 

---------

“MERRY CHRISTMAS!” I suddenly got a puff of snow to the face, which made me crinkle my red nose in disgust. “Y/N!!” I slammed my book shut and glared at the boy.

“What?” Jisung giggled and sat on the bench next to me. 

“It’s funny.” 

“What’s so funny about throwing wet snow in someone’s face when they’re trying to read.” I pointed at my book exaggeratedly, a signal for him to leave. He didn’t take it. 

Jisung fixed his scarf, making sure it knocked into my face as usual. He then proceeded to scooch closer to me, which was the final line. “Jisung? What’s your deal? What do you want?” I finally caved. The boy only came to me when he is bored, wants him, or is bored; all in that order. Don’t get me wrong, he was my best friend, but sometimes I just wanted to punch him in the face. 

He chuckled and kicked his feet in the snow. I noted they were adorned with new black snow boots. “I don’t know, I’m just in the Christmas spirit I guess.” I crinkled my nose. “Oh c’mon, I still don’t get why you don’t like Christmas so much. That’s like... illegal.” I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration. 

“Just ‘cause everyone else likes it, doesn’t mean I have to.” I slammed my book shut and looked at the boy in the eyes. “So, it would be great if you would stop pestering me about it because you’re not going to change my mind.”

I got up from the bench and started to walk off to my next class, already starting my day off feeling irritated. 

It wasn’t like I hated Christmas, I just hated when people started to be fake because of is. Kids would act nicer to their parents and relatives to get more money and loot for the winter, but return to the devilish children they are when January rolls around. Cuffing season starts and then couples start to pop up, only for the intent of getting gifts and a “cute” Christmas romance for the holidays. Then, their forced relationship ends. Everything about this season was fake, fake, and more fake. 

And I like real. 

I stopped by a coffee shop and ordered my usual drink: black coffee. It tasted bitter, but I liked the harsh taste of it. It woke me up. 

I walked into my early psychology class and took a seat at the back, my usual spot. I immediately was greeted to the group of loud and rambunctious students who sat in the front row. I groaned internally but simply leaned back in my chair and plugged in my earbuds. 

Suddenly, I felt a presence beside me and out of reflex, I took my earbuds out.

“Good morning, y/n.” I immediately smiled at his cheeky voice.

“Morning, Chan.” The light haired boy frowned and gave me the famous dimple that killed all the girls on campus. Besides me of course. 

“Aw, not even a good in front of that? Now how am I supposed to know what kind of morning I should have?” He pouted, tugging off his scarf and beanie since the room we were in was overly heated. 

I scoffed and shook my head. “What’s so good about it, dude? Our final is today and I feel like death himself.” I joked. It was true, our final was today, and yes, I felt horrible, but even I couldn’t help myself from feeling giddy about the end of the year. 

Chan smile and leaned closer to my desk. “Aw c’mon, y/n, it’s almost Chris-” 

I groaned and made a motion to put my earbuds back in. “I swear to God, if I hear one more person talk bout Christmas, I’m going to explode.” I sighed. Chan broke out into cheerful laughter, like he always does, and shook his head at my reaction.

“You know, you’re the only person I’ve ever met who hates Christmas so much. How can you hate it?? Everyone’s in a better mood, everyone’s in a relationship so you don’t have to run away from boys anymore-” He nudged me jokingly while I rolled my eyes. “And plus, you love peppermint.” 

I nodded, affirming he made a good point. “Ok, you’re right, I do love peppermint.” He was about to give me the cheekiest smile but I cut him off. “BUT, I hate that everyone is so happy this season when I swear everyone looked like they were about to cut me in half in the other 11 months. Plus, my devil for step siblings are shitloads nicer in December but once it hits New Years, all of a sudden they’re stealing my stuff again and pretending to be each other, ‘cause you know...”

“Twins.” He finished my sentence. I nodded and fiddled with my necklace. 

I’ll admit, ever since my dad got remarried, it had never been the same. It’s not like I hated my step mom... all the time... but she wasn’t mom. My mom had always treated me like an adult, even when I wasn’t. I had matured faster than all the kids in my grade, and always had felt like an old soul compared to everyone else. 

Mom used to let me have a sip of her eggnog, that had a little bit of burbon in it, and it wasn’t a big deal. But in my stepmom’s house, it wasn’t allowed, neither was running up the stairs or listening to the music while walking because I could “trip”. I had the same rules as her children, and it was irritating at times. Ok all the time. 

“Hm, well I hope that some day a person will change that for you.” Chan said melodramatically. I chuckled comfortingly, but I knew that would never happen. No one could do Christmas like my mom. 

“Just like how Chaeyoung did that for you?” I teased. His pale cheeks turned a soft red color, blending into his red sweated. I laughed even harder. “Oh come on, you cannot still be embarrassed about your girlfriend, you’ve been dating for a month now.”

Chan tsked and slumped back in his chair. “See, you said two completely different things. Chaeyoung is not my girlfriend, but we are dating. Different. People who have dated someone can understand the difference.” He teased. Usually that would offend people, but I let the insult roll off my back. 

“You act like it’s a bad thing I’ve never dated, it’s normal, weirdo. Also, I know you Chan, and I know that you’re a hopeless romantic who just started ‘dating’ someone because it’s cuffing season and you want someone to hold your hand in the snow at night.” I spat back. 

Before he could say anything, the teacher walked in, signaling the start of the final. I got out my number 2 pencils and gave a thumbs up to Chan.

“Good luck.” I whispered.

“Break a leg.” 

------

“Finally!!” I screamed into my house when I got home. Finals season was officially over and winter break had commenced. I flung my backpack into my room and plopped down on my bed. My back had ached from carry my backpack around everywhere and from the unneeded stress from school. It was finally time to relax. 

Suddenly, I heard a slight buzz to my left. I groaned and looked at the text message. 

It was from my stepmom, saying ‘will be home late today, theres some shrimp in the fridge, u can make pasta’. 

Well, that was a long vacation. 

I rolled out of bed and threw on a flannel, ready to cook some pasta. It wasn’t hard, but I just hated deshelling shrimp. It was time consuming, even though shrimp was one of my favorite foods, I would rather someone else cook it for me to be honest. 

After I cleaned the shrimp, I got out the pasta, preparing all my ingredients before I had to start actually cooking something. But before I could do that, I heard my phone ring. 

I rolled my eyes at the caller ID: Han Jisung, aka, Han Solo in my phone. 

“What.” I answered. 

“So....” He paused. I rolled my eyes

“Jisung, I’m cooking dinner, just get on with it.” I heard rustling in the back ground, which meant he was laying down in bed. Lucky him.

“Fine, fine, so, you know how I’m going to that holiday party thing tomorrow that’s for like 3 days and 2 nights right?” I nodded, but realized he couldn’t see me.

“Yup, why, you need me to watch Pepper?” 

“Nope, my sister said she can take him for the days I’m gone, but anyways, my friend, he really needs a date and he-” 

“Jisung, no-” 

“Ok, so I already knew you would say no, so I already said ye-” 

“YOU DID WHAT?” I screamed into the phone. 

I could feel my heart beat pick up in panic and I had to set down my phone to calm down. “Ok, ok y/n, I know what you’re thinking and I’m really sorry but-” 

“No you’re not Jisung, you love this don’t you? UGH, why do you always have to set me up with people?” I felt whiny but I couldn’t help myself. I hated when anyone, especially Jisung, tried to set me up on dates. They always ended terribly where either I, or the dude, was awkward or the thing just never clicked. 

Most of the dudes weren’t even friend material for me, it was a terrifying experience. 

“Ok, but look, this time, the dude is really a good guy. He’s funny, talkative, charming, attractive, good at singing-” 

“Oh then why don’t you just date him?” I mocked. Jisung made a whiny noise and said “Y/n, please, you know I’m already going with Naeun, I made a commitment!” 

I stared at the bowl of dead shrimp, wishing I could be that chill for one day. “God Jisung, you know how uncomfortable this makes me, why would you do this?” I finally said after a long time of silence. 

He sighed and I knew he truly felt guilty. “Ok, I swear I’m really, really sorry. But this time, I think this guy is at least a good friend match for you. Plus, he’s my friend, so he’s got to be a good friend for you, right??” 

“Please y/n? I’ll make it up to you I promise!” 

I tapped my foot rapidly, trying to make a decision quickly.

“Jisung, even if I say yes, my stepmom is a whole nother story. I need to watch the twins, remember?” 

Jisung sighed like he had forgot I had siblings. I guess it was even a new thing for me sometimes, even though it had been seven years. 

“Ok, fine, if she says yes, are you game?” 

“Game.” I muttered. He squealed in delight. “But don’t think I’m not mad at you, ok? I’m still mad.” I pouted, even though I couldn’t really be mad at him when I had just finished finals. My world seemed like it was so much calmer now, yet it never got exciting in the first place. 

“Ok, ok, I’ll make it up to you, all of it! It’ll be great, we’ll have so much fun! AAAH!” 

I hung up the phone before he could convince me to do anything else. I sighed, opening the box of pasta.

“What have I gotten myself into?” 

-----------

Once I was done with the pasta, I heard the door unlock, soon followed by rambunctious screaming and yelling.

“Heeyoung!! I can’t believe you asked Jake for his number, I called dibs first!” 

“Oh shut up, he was way into me anyways.” 

Suddenly, I heard some sort of wrestling on the ground. 

“Girls, girls, c’mon now, you both can have Jake! Remember, if you guys behave, then I’ll get you two new phones.” At the mention of a new phone, the girls both shut up immediately. 

The girls were twelve years old now as Hanna, my stepmom, already had them with her previous marriage. At 12, I never remembered being so spoiled and entitled, it was disturbing to say the least. 

“Oh, y/n, is dinner done?” She said like she just noticed my presence. I nodded and flicked off the stove. 

“Yup, just finished cooking, you guys eat first, I’m not hungry.” I lied. I was starving, but I hated eating with them and I knew they would rather eat with my as well. That’s just how things worked in this household. 

“Ok, you go upstairs then.” Hanna’s attention then turned to her girls who were trying their hardest to not tear out each other’s hair. It was hilarious and sad all the same time. 

Before I could go upstairs, I heard the doorbell ring, which meant Jisung was here. 

“It’s Jisung!” I called out to the table and they didn’t really pay me any attention besides the two girls who were giggling. Yes, I knew they had a crush on Jisung. Yes, it was weird. 

I threw the door open and saw the boy all bundled up in his bright white winter jacket. I raised a brow. “You’re really gonna-”

Before I could finish, he walked into the house and went right up to my mom, who adored him, only because Jisung was rich, funny, nice, and good looking. 

“Jisung! You’re here, oh gosh, did you have dinner? I made dinner, go ahead and have some.” I wanted to correct her lie, but it would do nothing except make me feel awkward. Jisung raised a brow at me but said nothing either.

“Oh no thank you, I just had dinner at my house. But, I just came over to ask you a very important question, Hanna.” I could tell my stepmom loved the attention and was already blushing. God, I hate Jisung and love him all at the same time. 

“Of course, darling.” She cooed at him, her botox hindering her from smiling widely. 

Jisung smiled and brushed his hair out of his face. “So, there was this little get-together thing that I wanted to bring y/n to, and it’s only for a couple nights and-” 

Hanna shook her head and set her fork down loudly. “Jisung, honey, you cannot ask for stuff like that. I like you a lot but you know y/n needs to stay home and watch the girls. I work and can’t be tied down all day.” 

Jisung feigned sadness, which I knew hit some pity points for Hanna. “Hanna, please, it’s a holiday party and-” 

Hanna scoffed. “Ok, we both know y/n hates anything Christmas, she’s the grinch in girl form.” 

“Ok, yes, but she promised me she would go because it won’t just be about Christmas, but about meeting new people, and hanging out in a nice lodge. So please, can she go, only for a few nights?” 

I felt my heart thump rapidly, for some reason, hoping she’ll say yes. I shook away the thought as quickly as it came; I hated Christmas and the snow and the mountains, which is what I would be facing if I went to this party.

“Well...” 

Everyone’s ears peaked up to hear her answer.

“Well, y/n shouldn’t make promises she can’t keep.” Hanna continued to down her dinner and Jisung turned his head to shake his head in failure. I smirked and shrugged my shoulders. 

“Sorry Jisung, it’s just that me and the girls are going to this huge Christmas party tomorrow night as well and I need someone to watch the dog. You know how they get.” Hanna lied lamely and took a bite of shrimp, that was her favorite food as well. “But that’s ok, y/n hates Christmas anyways, I’m sure you can make cooler and better friends at the party anyways.” 

Five years ago, those words would’ve hurt me, but now they were just annoying. I couldn’t wait til I finished college and didn’t have to depend on her for college tuition. I wasn’t like the normal girls in the fairytales; I wasn’t exceptionally smart and heading to Princeton or an amazing dancer like Selena Gomez, I was just... me. 

Jisung didn’t stick around to hear her annoying jabber and made up some excuse. “Well, my mom is expecting me home and I need to pack me for my trip. It was nice seeing you guys.” The all waved to him as I just shrugged at him as he left. He looked defeated in the moment, but with the evil glint in his eyes, I could tell this wasn’t over. 

------

“Don’t forget to feed Princess!! She needs some real food too so just cook her some fried rice, ok!?” 

“OK!” The door shut loudly, signaling I finally had the house to myself. 

I covered my mouth with a yawn, feeling warm and cozy in my flannel pajamas. My hair was tied loosely into two braids. 

“Thank God I don’t have to go out tonight,” I whispered to myself. I felt bad that Jisung had to go to this event by himself since his girlfriend was going with a group of friends. But I didn’t feel bad enough to go. 

I pulled out my guitar and started to strum lightly on the strings. I never could play and sing when they were home; the twins always complained about my music being too loud when they were studying, even though they never studied. 

“All I hear is raindrops

 Falling on the rooftop 

Oh baby tell me why’d you have to go 

Cause this pain I feel 

It wont go away 

And today I’m officially missing you”

I gently strummed the strings on my guitar, feeling the groove of the music. 

Breaking my magic, I heard my phone buzz. I set my guitar down on my bed and looked at my phone. 

‘open your window’ -jisung

I scoffed and popped open my window and somehow, Jisung jumped inside my room. That’s what I get for not chopping down that humongous tree I guess.

“Jisung... what the hell are you doing here?” I finally asked in confusion.��“You’re gonna be late to the party.” I deadpanned slowly. Jisung shrugged off all the snow on his body, leaving my carpet wet. He was dressed with raggedly clothes and a black mask over his face. Of course he would go as a ninja. For some reason, the party planner decided that the ball should be a Christmas costume party... interesting. 

“HEY, asshole, what do you-”

“You know, I love hearing you sing, why don’t you do it in front of-.” My cheeks were now as red as cherries from the anger and compliment. 

“Jisung, what are you doing here?” He shrugged and adjusted his mask.

“Well, um, so we are gonna go to that party.”

I paused at his words and stared at him in silence. 

“No... I’m not going because you couldn’t convince Hanna. Done deal, bye!” I tried to shove him out, but obviously I wasn’t strong enough. 

“Y/n, y/n, listen, listen.” I crossed my arms at the desperation in his voice. “The girls and Hanna are all gone tonight, and probably tomorrow morning-”

“Jisung, they’re coming home at one am, and it takes an hour to just get to the location of your party, and maybe even longer in the snow. I’m not gonna risk it.” I walked away from him, hoping he wouldn’t follow. 

“Y/n, for Pete’s sake, you never do anything bad or even a little rebellious. You stick to rules and you stick to routine, and yes, I know it’s ‘cause of your mom-”

“She’s not my mom.”

“Right, sorry, I mean Hanna, she controls you but she’s finally not here! That’s gotta be a sign, right??” He spoke with such a desperation that I almost felt sorry for him, and myself, but what could I do? I was stuck here until she came back!

“Jisung, really, I can’t just sneak out, what if she catches me? There goes my college tuition and I can’t even finish college and become a choir teacher like I’ve always wanted. It’s just... I don’t wanna risk it.” I said lamely. 

For a few moments, Jisung was silent, which was extremely rare. He sat on my bed, making it creak slightly. I felt like the atmosphere was tense, even though I didn’t know why. 

“I just... you never take chances y/n, the party is gonna be amazing and all I want is my best friend there.” I sighed and patted him on the head. 

“Jisung, I’m not Cinderella, I can’t sneak out of the house and get back before one.” At those words, he shot up and stared at me.

“You know what? If Cinderella can do it, we can! We can just leave the party at midnight and then we’ll make it home before one, I swear on it. It’s not like the road is crowded when it’s that late anyways.”

I laid in bed, the plan not sounding too bad when he said it that way.I tried to protest, but I had little fight left since he was making such a good argument. 

“I don’t even have a costume.” I mumbled lamely. He raised a brow and gave me his signature smirk. “Oh what this time, Jisung?” 

-----

Before I could comprehend what we were doing, we were sorting through my closet and dug out something I never thought I would be pulling out. 

“Really, my mom’s wedding dress... why.” I spoke, but I was quite breathless. I couldn’t imagine wearing something so beautiful. 

Jisung shook the top off the box and shrugged. “It’s perfect for the winter and perfect for a costume as well. You know your mom, she loved...”

I smiled sadly. “Yeah, she loved winter and Christmas.” I mumbled quietly, but I lost my voice once I saw the dress. I covered my mouth and pulled out the outfit. 

“You’re trying that on now.” Jisung yelped. 

I took my time trying on the dress; as I stared at myself in the mirror, I was astonished by the detailing.

It was a beautiful, pale white dress that was adorned in glitter and sparkles. There were small flowers which resembled snowflakes that fell over the poofy skirt. The cut wasn’t too low, but wasn’t too high either. The sleeves were decked out in glitter, and somehow, it fit me perfectly.

“Y/n, we don’t have all day now!” I hurried up and walked out. As he caught sight of me, he dropped my phone. “Damn, you look so much like your mom.” He whispered. Jisung was one of my only friends who had known me when my mom was still alive and that’s probably why he was still friends with me, because I wasn’t the nicest person after she passed. 

“Ok, hurry up, Grincherella, we’re getting in the car.” 

-------

This was the most fun I’d ever had. We were jamming out to classics in the car and not caring who were waking up. 

Jisung turned down the music and shouted to tell me something.

“Oh yeah, that guy who I sold you out too? He doesn’t need a date anymore, I felt really bad so I told him you weren’t looking for a serious date and he said he’d rather go alone anyways. So now we get to party together, WOOP!” He shouted turned up the music again. I almost forgot about my so-called date and now I was happy I didn’t have one. I could just hide in the corner and eat all the food they had.

Soon, we arrived at the venue, and I couldn’t even hide that it was beautiful. There was a fountain up front that was decked out in Christmas decor. There was a machine that projected snowflakes on the building that made the snow around us stand out. And also, it was huge. 

“Oh shit.” Jisung suddenly said. I turned to him in surprise.

“What??” 

“I forgot a mask for you.” He mumbled. I shrugged. 

“That’s fine, I don’t really need one.” I noted. He glared at me. 

“That’s a lie, hold on, lemme pull out my party box.” I was about to question what that was until the boy pulled out a box from the back seat and started to rummage through it. “YES!” He said pulling out a black mask that was lacey and probably too beautiful for me to wear. “Ok, it’s not white like I wanted it to be, but... hmhmmh hold on.” 

I groaned as he pulled out a paintbrush and some white paint and glitter. “Hold still.” Before I could question him, he put on my mask and started to draw white swiggle lines from the mask and out. He layered silver glitter on me and brushed some glitter all around my face and neck. 

“I love being friends with an art major.” He let out a chuckle and threw the art stuff in the box. 

“You look hot, I hope you get laid tonight or else this all will be in vain.” I rolled my eyes.

“Please, I’d be lucky to even get someone to stare at me.” Jisung laughed and helped me out of the car. The cold air hit my arms, making them erupt with goosebumps. 

“Oh they’ll be staring all right. Now c’mon!” 

-----

If the outside was already wild, the inside was even crazier. Music was blaring through the speakers, people were grinding on each other and I’m sure some people were blatantly just making out. This is why I never leave my house.

“C’mon grinch, at least look alive.” I rolled my eyes and tried to hide myself as stares started to come my way. “Don’t look so nervous, they’re looking ‘cause you’re h o t.” I slapped his arm and chuckled, feeling nervous at all the attention.

Before the two of us could get far, I felt Jisung being pulled away from me. 

“JISUNG! Baby!” I looked to my side and saw all of Jisung’s friends. Naeun had pulled him into a deep kiss, one that I felt awkward to look at. 

“Oh hey, y/n, you look so pretty!” Naeun greeted happily, opening her arms for a hug. Honestly, I never liked the girl, but she was a good fake nice I guess. I smiled widely at her and hugged her back. 

“You look stunning as well!” I exclaimed. “All of you guys look really cool.” I complimented to the entire group. 

“You look hot too, y/n, who knew you could dress up so well?” One of the boys exclaimed, making me feel a bit embarrassed. Jisung rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, let’s go get some drinks.” As they all went to get drinks, I pulled Jisung back. 

“No drinks until after you’re back at the party, I am not going to die or kill anybody when sitting in a car with you, got it?” The boy nodded and gulped, knowing I would actually run over him if he drove under the influence. 

The rest of the night moved by slowly, until the party started to pick up at 11. 

“OK GUYS, EVERYBODY ON THE DANCE FLOOR!” A crowd of people started to swarm into the middle of the venue, making me feel restricted and uncomfortable. In the corner of my eye, I saw Naeun pull Jisung into the crowd, leaving me to fend for myself. 

Great, I expected this. 

I immediately stepped back and found a way out of the crowd and ending up in the corner, like I had imagined. 

“Stupid Jisung, forcing me to come out here.” I pulled out my phone that showed I only had 30 minutes left. Suddenly, the DJ stopped played music and another due stepped on the stage. 

“Ok people, so tonight, like usual, it’s our annual karaoke night! Since most people hate singing in front of people, it’s best that we have our costumes on tonight am I right?!” The crowed screamed and whooped. It was a gigantic crowd, probably the most people I’ve seen together in my entire life. Ok that’s a lie but still. 

I drowned out the rest of the yelling and went back to my phone, mindlessly watching food videos online until someone had sat next to me. I tried to ignore the person, but he kept getting closer and closer, and me? I got further and further.

“Hi.” The dude stated. I looked over to him and noticed he was dressed as a mummy. Clever. Not. 

“Um, hi.” I said to not be rude. I shouldn’t assume he was hitting on me, maybe he just wanted to be friends.

“You’re beautiful, what is a girl like you sitting here alone?” Ok scratch that precious thought. I rolled my eyes and scooted away. 

“’Cause I want to?” I spat back. Before the creepy guy could advance even more, the strobe lights started to go crazy. 

“SO PEOPLE! Who wants to sing first?!” Numerous people were screaming and others were shoving their friends forward. I somewhat enjoyed the multiple people becoming targets. 

“ME ME!” I heard being screamed louder than anyone else. I watched as a blonde haired boy jumped onstage. His back was facing my side, but I could tell he was dressed as Prince Charming. 

“Well, Chan, isn’t it time we’ve seen you again?” Chan and the MC hugged.

Wait... Chan ...

My heart raced faster at the realization when the boy turned around. He had a white mask over the top of his face, but I could recognize that face anymore. 

“Oh shit.” 

“For those who don’t know, Chan is the best singer we have here and he’s here every year, what a guy! Without him, most of the girls wouldn’t even show up AHAHAHA” The MC laughed loudly into the mic and I flinched back to cover my ears. 

Suddenly, Chan’s eyes danced across mine, giving me a mini heart attack. I locked eyes with him, unsure of what I wanted him to do. After a few moments, he just looked away, making the whole interaction anti-climatic. 

Wow, he doesn’t recognize me.

I felt part relief that he wouldn’t make me in a wedding dress and attending a holiday party a big deal. But part sadness that a person I considered my friend couldn’t even recognize me when I was dressed as something else. 

“Well, let’s stop the chatter and get this party started! You know how it goes, you start with a duet first to break the ice!” The crowd oohed and awed while I just wanted the clock to hit midnight as soon as possible. 

“So what’s gonna happen is that this light.” The MC pointed to a giant yellow light that seemed quite intimidating. “Is going to land on one of you lucky people who is going to get to sing with Chan, ok? Everyone excited??” Screams erupted even though I knew someone who was probably a crappy singer would get picked. 90% of these people were drunk and the other 10% were drunk AND high.

Suddenly, the light started to wave everywhere, blinding everyone’s eyes. 

“Chan, you get the honor of yelling stop!” Chan took the mic gladly and closed his eyes. Typical Chan. 

Before I could take off running, the light landed right on my face, warming my entire body from head to toe. 

“STOP!” He yelled loudly. I felt my vision blur as everyone in the room turned and looked at me. 

Fuck, shit, fuck.

“Wow, lucky Chan, choosing his Cinderella for a partner! C’mon up here, miss!” I felt my heart throb immensely as I forced myself to stand. Ok, I’m just gonna run it’s fine-

Suddenly, a group of people started to usher me to the stage, which I started to protest, but it was no use. I wobbled up on stage and tried to not look at the looming crowd.

“Well, well, aren’t you two the perfect couple? You even have matching outfits!” I glanced over to Chan shyly, and avoided all eye contact. Still, even standing so close, he couldn’t tell who I was. I guess I had never dressed up or put on makeup, and I had tons of detailing on my face so whatever.

“So, what song do you want to sing?” The MC asked me. I grew nervous, as I hadn’t chosen a song.

I turned to Chan and gestured for him to choose. Chan gave me a small smile. 

“Sorry, the guest has to choose, but whatever you choose is fine with me.” I felt my face blush with his words and I was suddenly thankful I had a mask on. I felt more empowered with it on as no one would know who I was. Except for Jisung and his friends of course. Oh shit, I wonder how Jisung is reacting to this. 

“Um, ok, h-how about... Rewrite the Stars?” 

The MC clapped his hands and suddenly music started to gear up. I felt my palms get sweaty and my dress started to feel too big for my small pride. The lights dimmed and the venue turned dark, probably for dramatic effect. If I knew that this happened at these events, I would have not have gone. But it’s too late now. 

“You can do it!” I heard from the audience. I almost smiled at Jisung’s yell, but I was too nervous for that. 

The spotlight focused on Chan, making him look more ethereal than before. 

“You know I want you. It’s not a secret I try to hide.” I heard Chan’s voice fill the room, melting the heart’s of all the girls around us.

I knew Chan had an amazing voice, but with him staring right at me while he was singing was a little too intense for me. I smiled gently as his singing, but then he sang the next line to the audience, which showed he knew how to own the stage. The embellishments on his shoulders dazzled in the light, making his shoulders look broader than usual. 

“it’s up to you, and it's up to me No one can say what we get to be So why don't we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours Tonight.”

Shit, shit, it’s my turn real soon. 

My brain turned off and I only reacted on instinct now. My palms drenched the mic and made my grip tighter, but still slippery. I closed my eyes at the light focused on me and opened my mouth.

“You think it’s easy, you think I don’t wanna run to you?” The first note was shaky, yet filled with more composure than I imagined. 

“But there are mountains, and there are doors that we can’t walk through.” Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned, finally gaining confidence. I stared at Chan who was already watching me with steady eyes. 

Soon, it came to the duet, 

“All I want is to fly with you All I want is to fall with you So just give me all of you”

“It’s feels impossible.”

“It’s not impossible”

“Is it impossible?”

“Say that it’s possible?” Our voices blended smoother than expected, making the crowd ooh and ah. I couldn’t deny that I felt the connection too as he made his way over to me, getting into the song. 

I felt him grab my hand,

“No one can say what we get to be Why don't we rewrite the stars? Changing the world to be ours”

I could hear his breathing so closely. His palm was quiet sweaty from holding the mic, but our hands felt so perfect together. 

Finally, I ended the song,

“You know I want you It's not a secret I try to hide”

I let go of his hand for dramatic effect, 

“But I can't have you We're bound to break and My hands are tied”

The lights turned black, and then right back on when cheers and clapping started to erupt. Once the lights turned back on, I felt the anxiety ride in my stomach again. 

We were still about 10 inches apart from each other. Chan’s eyes were stuck on me; the intensity was almost enough to cut right through me. 

He looked stunning in the dim light; his blonde hair was neatly done and his face was shiny from all the sweat, but he still looked beautiful. 

Damn, what am I thinking? I thought. 

Suddenly, he cracked a smile. “Hey, you’re a really amazing singer... but you also sound quite familiar. Have we ever met?” I smelt the alcohol on his breath, making me crinkle my nose in disgust. 

My heart pounded as I thought of answers to say. 

“Uhh, um, no? Not that I remember.” 

I saw his famous dimple splash onto his face, which sent butterflies in my stomach. What the hell am I feeling-

I saw him lick his lips and peer above us. I raised a brow and followed his stare. The crowd started whooping and hollering as our eyes landed at the thing hovering above us.

“Huh, mistletoe.” I felt my heart thump in anticipation as he leaned much closer to me. “Is this ok?” He whispered against my lips. I answered him by finally connecting out lips. 

Suddenly, the rest of the crowd disappeared and it was just us. 

Just me and Chan.

He pressed deeper into me, letting me taste the alcohol on his lips. I tried to not focus on the alcohol, letting myself fall deeply into the kiss. He pulled away slowly, confusing me. 

Gently, he made a move to take off my mask. Hypnotized by how close he was, I couldn’t move until I felt my phone buzz. We both flinched back at the loud alarm. 

It was midnight. 

Meaning it was time to go. 

“Um, I’m so sorry, I have to go!” I ran down the stage, not looking back, even when he yelled “WAIT!” I could NOT be late to getting home.

I ran towards the entrance and saw Jisung already there. His eyes widened.

“We are going to have a long talk, but let’s go!” I turned back, big mistake, and saw Chan looking for me. I pushed Jisung out the door in a hurry and we both started to run towards the car.

“So, uh, wanna tell me what the fuck was that?!” Jisung panted as he got into the car and immediately started the engine.

“Jisung, I wish I could say but I HAVE NO CLUE.” I emphasized. I tossed off my mask as the thing was starting to itch like hell. 

Jisung groaned and started the car. “So are we just gonna ignore how you made out with one of my friends on stage?” I turned to him with wide eyes. 

“Wait, did you just say that Chan was one of your friends?” Jisung rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I did. We’ve known each other for years, he’s Changbin’s older cousin and we hang out like all the time. How the hell do you know Chan? ‘Cause no way would you let a stranger make out with you on stage, even if he was hot.” I gulped and shook my head in disbelief.

“We were in the same psychology class and we sit, sat, next to each other.” I mumbled. I fiddled with my hair nervously, unsure of where our relationship stood now. Oh wait, he doesn’t even know that was you, you’re still just classmates., ex classmates.  “And he didn’t recognize me, so I’m just going to forget this ever happened.” 

Jisung scoffed. “Oh hell no, that was the most intense thing I’ve ever seen you do. You’re an amazing singer, y/n, I don’t know why you hide it all the time. Plus, you had SO much sexual tension on stage.” I slapped his arm as he cackled. “You know why this is so funny?” I shook my head as he continued “it’s hilarious because Chan was the dude I was going to set you up with but cancelled.” 

Suddenly, all the thoughts flooded back to me. 

“Oh my god, that was Chan? Oh shit, wait, that means him and Chaeyoung aren’t seeing each other anymore?” Then I realized, I had kissed Chan, knowing he was dating someone else. But I guess I forgot. But how could I have forgotten that? “Fuck, I didn’t know that Jisung, that means I kissed him and he could have been dating Chaeyoung! I am a terrible person.” I screamed into my dress. Jisung sighed and shoved me slightly to knock some sense into me. 

“Jesus Christ, y/n, it’s fine! They were never serious and Chaeyoung wasn’t that into him anyways, she was dating other people without Chan knowing, that’s why they broke up. You know Chan, hopeless romantic, he was devastated either way.” I closed my eyes in anger. Jisung was terrible at making things better. But I couldn’t focus on whatever their relationship was right now when such an intense thing happened.

“Well, it’s whatever anyways. He didn’t know it was me and in his eyes, that’s the last time he’ll ever see me again. And technically it is the last time I’ll see him because we don’t have a class together anymore. It’s done, over.” I said turning up the radio, but Jisung turned it back down. 

“Y/n, you cannot just ignore this! He was so into you!” I shook my head. 

“He doesn’t even know me! It’s whatever Jisung, he’ll probably forget about it the next day or give up some time over another. This conversation is over.” I made a statement by turning up the radio, the conversation truly ending this time.

-----

The days went by so slowly. My thoughts couldn’t help but constantly be surrounded by Chan, thinking about what he was doing, if he still was pining over me. 

*ding dong*

I heard my doorbell ring unexpectedly, making me jump out of my bed quickly. I pulled a hoodie over my tanktop and walked downstairs. Weird, I wasn’t expecting anybody. 

I pulled open the door, “hello-”

My heart stopped and so did everything else around me as I looked at the person standing at the door.

“Oh my god?? y/n??” Chan exclaimed, going in for that weird dude hand shake. I patted him on the back and pulled away, feigning a happy surprise.

“Wow, um, what are you doing here Chan?” I exclaimed. He was wearing a turtleneck with a long jacket, my favorite outfit on him.

“Jisung sent me here saying that I needed to pick up something?” I rolled my eyes and closed the door, letting him into my house. Weird. 

“Yeah, um, follow me.” I walked to the kitchen with him behind me and picked up the baggie of peppermint bark. I placed it in Chan’s hands while he looked at me with confused eyes. “It’s his dad’s favorite and Jisung asks me to make it every year and on his dad’s birthday because his dad likes mine the most. Of course his dad thinks Jisung makes it, but whatever makes him happy.” I shrugged.

Chan laughed and shook his head. “Wow, that’s so Jisung!” We both chuckled at the joke but then there was a silence. 

“So, uh, I should ask how you know Jisung but he talks a dude named Chan sometimes and I’m assuming that’s you?” I feigned innocence. Chan nodded. 

“Yeah! I’m Changbin’s, his neighbor, cousin, so we see each other a lot.” I nodded as we slowly walked to the door again.

“Well, I guess I should apologize on Jisung’s behalf for making you come here just to pick up peppermint bark. He’s an idiot and tries to set me with random dudes sometimes.” I rolled my eyes as Chan laughed.

“Wow, we both think you need to start dating, hmmm. Time to start searching.” I couldn’t help myself from feeling a bit hurt from him wanting me to date someone else, I guess I shouldn’t expect anything from him anyways.

I forced a chuckled and shook my head. “Nah, not into the whole dating game, sorry.” I waved him goodbye as he opened the door. He turned to leave, but looked back at me.

“You know, you’re fun to talk to. We should hang out sometime.” I raised a brow, knowing that was never going to happen. 

“I guess, yeah.” I noted lamely. Chan squinted his eyes at me and laughed.

“Wow, trying to spare my feelings now?” I blushed, caught in a lie. He just laughed though. “It’s fine, y/n. I know where you live now so you can’t escape me.” He laughed as he playfully punched my shoulder. 

As he stepped out the door, he looked back up at the top of it. “Oh what, is that a mistletoe?” I furrowed my eyebrows in shock and looked up. There was nothing. He broke out into laughter as I turned red in the face. 

“Dude, why I was about to barf.” I joked. 

He chuckled and put his hands in his pockets. “If there was a mistletoe there, would you have kissed me?” He asked abruptly. I leaned back, pretending to look confused. D-does he know? Impossible.

I raised a brow, wondering what his motives were. “I don’t know.” I deadpanned, closing the door in his face. 

I was about to walk away but I heard a knock on the door again. Then again. And again. And again. I let out a low growl and opened the door.

“Jisung told me.” He said before I could let another peep out. 

W-wait

I felt my hands turn numb and my legs go shaky. We stood in silence for a solid minute, which was a long time without saying anything. 

My mind felt numb and I couldn’t think of any lie to save myself. 

“Um... I’m sorry, you need to go.” I started to close the door, but he stopped me gently. 

“Y/n, wait, I’m not mad, and technically I knew before he told me. Look, I feel terrible for not recognizing you earlier but I was really fucking drunk. And I wasn’t in the right mind since I had ended things with Chaeyoung and my mind was just not thinking of anything. But I swear as soon as I got shown a video of us singing the next day, I knew. And I felt terrible, so I’m so sorry.” 

I felt shocked at his apology and I was unable to say anything in response. 

“Please, say something.” He took my hands and pulled me closer to him. 

And I felt terrible when I pulled back. I saw hurt run across his face as I said, “Look I was drunk too and--”

“No you weren’t, you were completely sober, I could tell in the video. Y/n please...” He made an attempt to come closer but stopped. “Look I know it’s bad that I just kissed a random girl and am now making attempts at you but there was something just drawing me to you that night. I mean the alcohol was helping me act on instinct but still. 

I was so happy to find out it was you. I had no idea who the girl was gonna be but when it was you, I couldn’t help but feel so relieved because it’s you, the girl I had a crush on in my psych class who was sarcastic with a weird sense of humor but that’s what was so awesome about you so please, we can just work something out. We don’t have to work fast.” 

A part of me wanted to just say yes and jump into his arms, but these things don’t happen to girls like me: girls who are constantly stuck in the background. He was still in love with that girl who sang confidently at karaoke, not that dull one in his psych class. 

“I’m sorry, Chan but I just can’t.” I spoke softly. I couldn’t bare to look at him as he left, but he said nothing as he walked off my porch.

------

I laid in bed, feeling like the whole world was pressing down on my chest. 

“Y/n! We’re going out to aunt josie’s house! Watch the house for us, we’ll be gone for 5 days! Merry Christmas!” The door slammed shut and I was officially alone on Christmas.

I’d always spent Christmas alone, every single year. 

Jisung had his own family to tend to and I didn’t wanna bother him. I told him that I was fine being alone since I hated Christmas anyways, and he didn’t push thankfully. It was time for me to be alone, to mourn my parents. 

It had been a few days, or maybe a week, since I last saw Chan. Jisung didn’t push the subject, knowing there was a more confusing internal battle in me. 

I felt my phone vibrate, signaling a text. My eyes grew wide when I read the contact name, scared to read the message. 

‘can we meet up right now?’ it read.

My fingers shook, unable to type a message. I hovered my finger over the ‘block’ button, wondering if that was a good idea. But before I could do anything, I got a call from Jisung. .

“Wha-”

“DON’T BLOCK HIM!” I pulled my phone away from my ear. 

“What? How did you know-”

“’Cause I fucking know you, don’t block him. Ok, y/n, let’s be honest right here right now. This isn’t about Chan, this is about you. I guess and Chan but anyways. You’re scared because of these insecurities you have, which you shouldn’t have ‘cause you’re pretty and you’re funny and cool so yeah. But, you have them, so what can you do I guess. But Chan, he’s a great dude; he’s funny, talented, hot, sporty, he’s everything a girl could want and more. Especially what you want. So I know you like him and you should take this chance because even if things don’t work out forever, at least you made the effort.”

I could hear loud music and talking in the background and I knew he was outside of his house where a big party was happening. I went soft knowing he was taking the time out of his Christmas to say this to me.

“Ok... I’ll do it.” 

“Wait what?”

“Call you later.” 

I hung up the phone and returned to texting Chan with Jisung’s confidence in me. 

‘yes... im home right now.’ 

‘are you flirting with me right now?’

I let out a bark of laughter. Chan knew how to get a girl to smile. 

‘no :/’ 

‘well i’ll still be there in 20 mins’ 

‘ok i’ll be here too’

He read my message, didn’t respond. Does that mean he’s on his way over now? 

I ran out of bed and looked at myself. 

“I need a fucking shower.” I took a 5 minute shower and ran out, dried myself and put on a little makeup, just to look not dead. I pulled on a white sweater and leggings, trying to look like I’ve been lounging all day, but cute lounging. 

Before I knew it, I heard my doorbell ring. I groaned in surprise but ran downstairs anyways. I took a deep breath, calming myself.

You can do this.

I threw open the door and saw him standing there, in a white button down shirt with dark fancy pants. His hair was now a dark brown, making him look more mature and casual than his chic blonde look. 

“Hi.” He said with a smile. 

“Hey, um, come in I guess.” I stood back to let him in and closed and locked the door behind him. “Um, merry Christmas.” He looked at me with kind eyes and smiled.

“Merry Christmas to you too.” 

We stood in a peaceful silence, one testing out the waters with the other. 

“What are you doing here instead of spending time with your family?” I asked finally. He shrugged. 

“Well, um, so both my parents died when I was 13.” I held in my gasp and held my head low for condolence.

“I’m sorry for your losses.” He nodded and looked up at me. 

“I’ve heard you have a similar story.” I sighed and sat down next to him as he took a seat on the couch. 

His body heat was radiating off him in waves and it made me feel like home. “Yeah, Jisung probably told you?” Chan nodded and I sighed. “Yeah, um, my mom died when I was pretty young, 8 to be exact. And my dad died just a couple years ago...leaving me with an ass for a stepmom and step sisters so.” I shrugged, not knowing how to go on.

“I’m sorry.” I nodded.

He leaned back in the couch and rolled up his sleeves. I couldn’t help but feel so attracted to him despite our situation being serious. 

“So-” We both started. 

“You go first.” He said. I nodded. 

“So um, I’m just really sorry about what happened the last time I saw you. I guess I was just afraid of commitment and um, feeling loved I guess. To explain it simply, I’ve always felt like I was background music while everyone else is a title track.” I shrugged nonchalantly, but I couldn’t help but feel emotional. His arm immediately went to wrap around my body and pulled me closer. He rubbed my back in circular motions which calmed me down. 

“I’m not blaming you for what happened, I guess we both have our faults.” I shook my head.

“No, you did nothing wrong, it was just me.” I argued as he laughed in surprise.

“Seriously, the first time we kissed, I was drunk as hell. I could tell you noticed ‘cause you made a face.” I blushed and hid my face in my hands. 

“Shut up.” 

As I said that, we returned to our usual banter and relationship. It felt normal again. 

“Hey, I never got to tell you, you’re an amazing singer you know that?” I gave him a small smile and shrugged.

“Thanks, you are too.” 

Then, he glanced up at the ceiling and raised his brows. 

“Mistletoe!” He called out. I grew confused and looked up. “There’s no mistletoe up there.” He gave me a boyish smile and shrugged.

“I know, I just wanna kiss you.” I let out a harsh laugh and slapped his chest.

“Dude, you can’t just say mistletoe whenever you wanna kiss me.” He wiggled his eyes brows and came close to me. My body grew warm since the look on his face was nothing but innocent. “You sure?” I nodded, daring him to go on.

“Mistletoe.” He pecked me on the lips, sending tiggles through my body, but leaving me wanting more.

“Mistletoe.” He leaned in again for half a second then pulled away.

“Mistletoe.” 

“Mistletoe.”

“Mis-” As he leaned in to kiss me for the fifth time, I pulled him closer and he didn’t fight it as he pulled me on his lap. 

He pulled away softly to look up at me. I titled my head at him in curiosity.

“Hm, so how do you like Christmas now, Cinderella?” I gasped and shoved him away playfully. 

“Cinderella? You are not calling me that!” I squealed as he tickled my sides.

“Really? How ‘bout Cindy? Ella? Cinder??” I flicked him on the neck harshly and he gasped in pain. 

“You meanie!” 

He laughed and held me down in his lap. “Ok ok fine! But I’m serious, how do you like Christmas now?” 

I thought about his question for a moment until I leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips, surprising him.

“I could get used to it.”

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

just gonna rant about my health issues to no one in particular for a bit under the cut sooo

im just so fucking tired of being sick all the time like. its been almost 2 years now of actively Going To Doctors And Having Tests Done And Trying To Get A Diagnosis and fucking!!! nothing works!!! and i only have until the end of this coming school year to get it figured out before my insurance runs out otherwise im just fucked!!! because im sure as hell not gonna be able to afford a fucking mri every six months making 10 bucks an hour at some retail shithole but so far ive seen SIX different fucking doctors (not counting 2 ER visits) because they all just keep shuffling me back and forth like “idk maybe have someone else deal with this? weird lol” or like “have you considered that maybe you might have anxiety :) you seem stressed :)” 

like yeah its a fucking stressful situation getting progressively fucking sicker for two goddamn years wasting thousands of dollars and reaching the end of a fucking ticking clock because almost every doctor ive seen is an incompetent jackass who does NOTHING but waste my time and money and then fucking condescend to me about anxiety like!!! yeah i probably DO have anxiety and depression and autism and what the fuck ever else but this isnt THAT 

and the literal ONE TIME i had ANY treatment that worked AT ALL helping with my eye spasms (literally One of Many Symptoms that i deal with on a fucking daily basis that still manages to completely fuck up my life) is something i cant take anymore because it damaged my fucking eyes!!! possibly permanently!!! i already HAD issues wtih light sensitivity that this medicine made WAYYY fucking worse and guess whats one of the WORST things at setting off my eye spasms??? anything to do with fucking light so YEAH thANKS for that @ the opthalmologist who had me take those damn eye drops for two months straight, which other neuro opthalmologist said was bullshit when i saw her again, not that im letting HER off the hook either since she REFERRED me to that incompetent bitch in the first place and then had NO solution other than “hm well you definitely shouldnt take that medicine again, but theres literally No Other Treatment, maybe blow another $400 in a few months to come see me again so i can continue to Not Help You In Any Way”

and its getting wORSE ALL THE TIME!!! and the best thing doctors can think of is “hm well maybe wait a bit to see if it gets worse? and maybe then we’ll know what it is?” well its getting worse!!!! but they still dont seem to know what it is!!! like at first it was just my vision going out of focus for a few seconds at a time, then it was a few minutes, then i was having visual distortion (or maybe hallucinations? who knows! certainly not any of the fucking doctors ive seen!), then awful fucking eye strain headaches, then spasms in my neck, then my jaw, then my arms, then my legs, now all fucking over, and now i get sick and dizzy just by moving my HEAD too far or too suddenly and like at work earlier today i was just stumbling around for two hours bc there was too much pressure in my head and everything felt tilted and i was just grabbing at every surface trying not to fall with my head like on my shoulder bc keeping my neck straight was too fucking hard and i swear to fuckign god a couple nights ago there was this weird buzzing on the side of my face??? and like it felt like my mouth was moving slower than it should??? but i dont even KNOW if thats a Real SymptomTM or if i was just freaked out and tired and imagining things or if i really am just getting to be a paranoid delusional nutcase about my health because every little thing terrifies me at this point, like ive been coughing for a couple weeks and instead of being like “oh its a bad cold” im like “maybe now my immune systems fucked up too maybe this is A New Symptom” i literally cant tell anymore i have no fucking idea 

and i dont WANT to think about all this All The Fucking Time but i do!!!!! i literally HAVE to bc it affects my life in every fucking possible way and i cant escape it like even rn the light from the fuckign computer is hurting my eyes and i cant even see what im typing half the time bc my eyes keep going out of focus and my teeth keep chattering and my head hurts or ill go to get a drink of water but then just Stand there for a few minutes bc i dont trust myself to hold a cup full of water and not spill it bc im having spasms or ill have to wear sunglasses at the dinner table bc my fucking idiot asshole dad got the BRIGHTEST possible lightbulbs for the dining room and i physically cant stand them 

or like im already dreading having to explain all this shit to my professors this semester about how like “oh so i probably wont be able to keep up with daily readings, especialyl not if theyre on physical paper and i cant scale up the text because my eyes just spontaneously stop working and i cant read..... and ill need a computer to take notes, i can Usually hold a pencil but one time i had a spasm in class and flung it across the room and it was super embarrassing and i ltierally skipped that class for weeks because of it so id really rather not deal with that again.... and even though im a fuckign AMAZING public speaker like, state champion debate level public speaking, ill still probably get super fucking nervous and suck at any kind of in class presentation bc ill just be thinking about my spasms the whole time and wont be able to focus....... and ill have to wear sunglasses all the time too so hopefully thats not an issue........ and also ill probably miss a lot of class bc whether or not i can handle walking half a mile Varies Wildly from day to day and also i have a lot of doctors appointments and sometimes im on medicine that completely ruins my sleep schedule so you know... looking forward to a great semester, hope i dont completely fail your class” 

and i have fuckign work tomorrow where ill have to deal with trying to pretend like even the most minor tasks arent painful and difficult and deal with awful btichy entitled customers complaining that im not SMILEY enough for you like the motherfucker who asked me how i was and i said fine and he was like “jUuUUuuuST fINE” like shut the everlasting FUCK UP with that ive met my obligation leave me ALONE my day isnt FINE im in awful pain and i HATE you and everyone like you or ill have to deal with my coworkers giving me weird looks while im having spasms or outright MOCKING me for them like the asshole that called me TWITCH (and a whore, but thats Another Fucking Story) or just not knowing how to deal and making bad taste jokes like when my teeth are chattering bc I Physically Cant Make It Stop like “haha are you chewing an invisible piece of gum lol” like no bitch im a neurological nightmare and my brain doesnt work and im Barely Holding Together would you PLEASE shut the fuck up 

and most of the time i just feel like everyone thinks im a fucking freak like even just sitting in the waiting room to see the neurologist or opthalmologist or whatever and everyone else there is Old and im the only person even remotely close to my age there and even the doctors dont seem to take me that seriously bc of it like “oh shes young, cant be that bad, all these old people out here are gonna die like tomorrow so why worry about this girl, its probably just anxiety from being on her period or having a test to study for lol” like straight up when the movement disorder neurologist was examining me she was like “im not used to seeing anyone this young or healthy’ and i know she meant it relatively speaking but like!!! clearly im NOT healthy or i wouldnt BE here like obviously something is wrong with me and its ruining my life and its serious and id like it fixed thanks!!!!! 

and i feel like No One Gets It like, obviously there are people wayyyy sicker than i am who suffer a lot more or people in similar situations but like. i dont Personally Know someone like that i can just talk to and like, of course i have friends who can Listen but.................................. theres a difference from being able to listen and being able to actually Understand and sometimes you just cant Get It unless youve gone through it like i really dont think ANYONE in my life has any idea how serious this is or how much it affects me and i know i cant expect everyone to just Always Think Of My IssuesTM but little things!!! like maybe NOT having the brighest possible lightbulbs in the dining room!!!! my brother NOT having his birthday party at dave and busters, which i had TONS of spasms at last time i went (and im even worse now!) AND the staff gave me shit about wearing sunglasses so now im nervous about That too or just! idk! people respecting and listening to me when i tell them that i Cant Do Something or that Doing That Thing Hurts and not just brushing me off or telling me im overreacting and then getting all shocked pikachu face when their dumbassery actually physically HURTS me and i get pissed with them for it!!!!

i dont think anyone gets how much it scares me all the time or how its Always on my mind and i literally cant think about anything else like. this could be the rest of my life. this could end my life. i dont know what i have. i might get diagnosed in the next month and have it completely cured, i might get a diagnosis and still be sick forever, i might not find out until its too late and i have LITERALLY NO FUCKING IDEA WHICH ONE!!!! ITS GREAT!!!!!!!! WELCOME TO MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[min-drop]

Your blog is great I really enjoyed reading it xd How abt Jimin x Hobi teachers au? They obv look like they both have a thing for each other but don't rlly do anything abt it until...one day BAM! Again, love your works 🌻🌻🌻

yesss jihoppeeee. its not even my otp but im so here for it ?? then again i literally love all jimin ships

also tysm

          “Okay guys, good work today, go get changed.”

Hoseok dismissed his class of thirteen to fourteen year olds, walkingto the corner of the room to turn off the generic rhythm music thatwas playing as the pitter patter of kids leaving filled the hall.This was the one time of the school day where he wasn’t thinkingabout kids or lesson plans because he was thinking about foodinstead. In around five minutes, the bell for lunch would soundthroughout the entire school and Hoseok was free to go and devour thefood he had packed for himself this morning before he left. Hoseokhad been a dance teacher at this high school for roughly two yearscome April, and it was the best job he’d ever had. He was doingwhat he loved still – dancing – but at the same time he was alsopassing on that same passion to younger people, and even if only twoout of fifteen people in a class began to love it just as much as hedid then he was doing something right. He pushed his black hairback, sighing as he stretched his back a little, he always preferredto put as much energy into his lessons as he expected the studentsto so he always ended up a little sweaty at the end. Not that heminded much.

           “Hey, how was class?” He turned around to see afamiliar smiling face peeking around the double doors. The appearanceof the brunette man put a soft grin on his face, and he waved theother inside, shaking his head and ruffling his hair up so he lookeda little more presentable.           “Hey Jimin.” Jiminwas a little shorter than him with chubbier cheeks that alwaysbunched up when he smiled or laughed and made his eyes look likecrescent moons, not that Hoseok always paid that much attention…“Yeah, it was good. There are a couple students in this class I’mpretty sure are going to sign up for the summer show.” He said,noting that Jimin had loosened his navy tie and unbuttoned the firsttwo buttons of his white blouse for comfort, knowing that he didn’tlike when things were too tight and stuffy.           “Yeah?”Jimin’s voice was light and airy too, Hoseok found it pleasant tolisten to – it had this calming and relaxing effect on him that nomatter how tensed or riled up about something he was, all he had todo was simply talk and listen to Jimin and it was as though he waslistening to a lullaby and could momentarily push down those negativefeelings. “I think the show will be really good this year. I have acouple bands that are really serious about music who are going to doit.” So with a voice like that, it makes sense that he’s a musicteacher. The passion Hoseok has for dance is exactly how Jimin feltabout music and performing in general, though while Jimin wassomething of a dancer himself, he chose to focus more on music as acareer path and Hoseok was secretly glad. If he hadn’t, Jimin would neverhave applied for the music teacher position at this school and Hoseokwould never have met him.           “Good.” Hoseok nodded,trying not to get too distracted by that little glint in the youngerman’s eye or the way he crossed his arms and jutted his hip out tostand comfortably.           “You sound a little out ofbreath.” Jimin chuckled, teasing him a little but still sporting anunderstanding smile.           “Just a tad.” There was apause after that, and they both looked down at the ground, unsure ofwhat to say. Jimin worried his bottom lip, playing with the fabric ofhis shirt before he cleared his throat.           “Do youwant to get lunch?” He asked, and Hoseok wasn’t expecting thequestion, so he simply said the first thing that came to mind withoutmuch thought.           “I brought my own today.” Which hethen realised made it sound like he didn’t want to get lunch withJimin. Which he did. He very much did.           “Oh okay.”Jimin put on a smile, looking a little awkward. “Nevermind then.”           “No, we can still…We can still eat together. If you want.” He tried to salvage thesituation. After all, any time he had with Jimin alone always endedup being a time that left butterflies in his stomach and made himforget that he was almost 26 years old.           “It’salright, I should probably get some marking done anyway.” Jiminshrugged, putting his hands in his trouser pockets and clicking thepen that was left loose inside.           “We could get lunchtomorrow?” Hoseok quickly interjected, knowing by the shuffle ofJimin’s feet that he was getting ready to leave.          “It’s Saturday tomorrow, Hoseok.” Jimin scoffed, an endearinggrin on his face replacing the previous stiff one that was hidingdisappointment.           “Yeah?” Hoseok wasn’t quitegetting what Jimin was insuating, not seeing the problem.          “Well, we’re not at school on Saturdays...” Which is whyJimin’s explaination had his mouth gaping open in an ‘o’ shape.           “You’re right, sorry.” He laughed, shaking hishead at himself and leaning his hands on the rail against the mirrorbehind him. “Monday then.”           “Yeah, cool.Monday.” Jimin nodded his head in confirmation, smiling down at thefloor. Once again, they reverted into silence until Jimin’s footstepped backwards with a hesitant tap against the floor. “Erm.Well… I’ll see you around.” He said and Hoseok nodded his head,waving as Jimin eventually turned around to walk properly away.          “Yep.” Hoseok whispered to himself, his hand droppingdown to his side with a sigh as the door swung closed behind theyounger man.

Hoseok wondered why he could never have a normal conversation withJimin. The two could talk for hours and hours about anything andeverything but by the end of it, it was always awkward. He didn’tknow if it was his fault or Jimin’s – most likely both of them –but whether it was conflicting plans or reluctant goodbyes, Hoseokalways felt that uncomfortable feeling in his chest that made himwant to scrunch his face up and sigh loudly in an attempt toalleviate said feeling. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily awkwardness butHoseok still found himself mulling over words he could have saiddifferent or things he could have done instead when it came to Jimin.Only when it came to Jimin.

          “You’re hopeless.” Yet another recognisable voicedrifted into the dance hall; this time it made Hoseok roll hiseyes with a groan.           “Yoongi, I swear you are alwayseavesdropping on me.” He huffed, pulling away from the mirror asYoongi walked over to him.           “No, I came by to see ifyou were finished with your class and I heard you and Jimin talkingand I can’t pass up on anything that might give me a reason totease you.” The older maths teacher hummed, a mischievous grin onhis face as he popped a crisp in his mouth from the packet he washolding in his right hand. “And your plain awkwardness is enoughfor that.”           “Oh shut up.” Hoseok frowned, notbothering to tell Yoongi that he couldn’t eat in here because theolder man would just continue anyway and tell him that he has tobecause he needs his sustenance.           “You two confuseme.” Yoongi said, loud crunching following his words. “Youliterally turn into teenagers when you talk to each other. ‘ohum, sorry… I, I mean if you want. Oh’.”He pulled a face and mockedthe way Hoseok and Jimin had spoken with each other, definitely notacting his age and pulling yet another eye roll from the dancer.          “Okay, I get it.”Hoseok started organisingthings, pulling the plug out of the wall and rolling the long wireup.          “Why don’t youjust ask him out to dinner or something? You’re both grown adultswhat’s the worst that can happen?” Yoongishrugged, speaking with his mouth a little full and Hoseok let out along breath before replying.          “He says no andwe have to live awkwardly avoiding each other which will beimpossible because not only are we co-workers but we work in the samedepartment and have to work together for the performing arts shows.”Yoongi looked at him with adead stare and Hoseok stared back with an equally blank gaze.          “You’rehopeless.” Yoongideadpanned before he turned on his heel and walked away, leaning hishead back to tip the rest of his crisps into his mouth whilst Hoseokglared at his back.

It’s not as if Hoseok didn’twant to ask Jimin out. He definitely did. However, it had been solong since he realised he had feelings for the younger man that hewas worried he would ruin things between them if he tried to pursueanything further. In hismind, even though Jimin doesn’t give him any inclination that hewould say no, there was no explicit reason for a yes either and theuncertainty was Hoseok’s biggest problem in trying to find thecourage to finally ask…

                                                              ~~~

So once again, Hoseok found himselfthinking of Jimin as he sat on his couch not watching the TV that wasplaying a show he didn’t recognise. Hetapped his fingers on the arm, puffing his cheeks in boredom.

However, his boredom wasn’t goingto last very long as there was faint knock at his door. At first, hethought he was just hearing things as it was so quiet but then itrepeated, much louder but still hesitant sounding. With a confusedpout, he stood up and pulled his shirt down a little, making his waypast the kitchen and through the hall to the front door. He had noidea who was knocking at his door at 7pm, it definitely wasn’tYoongi because Yoongi didn’t leave his house for anything but workor to go to a pub and if it was going to be anyone else, theywouldn’t come unannounced. Without any expectations, he reached hishand out and enclosed it around the cold handle, turning the lockwith his other hand.          “Oh, Jimin. Hey.”Hoseok opened the door to seethe slightly wind blushed face of the music teacher, hands in his coat pocketwith a scarf wrapped around his neck and touching the bottom of hislip. He looked bundled up despite the dashes of pink acrosshis cheeks and nose.          “Hoseok.” Jiminsmiled, bowing his head a little and sniffling.          “What are youdoing?” Hoseok asked, alittle confused and slightly concerned at how cold Jimin was lookingand sounding. Jimin looked down at his feet, rocking back and forth alittle.          “Well, I justwanted to take a walk and I guess my feet just took me here.” Hesaid with a shrug, glad that he could hide his blush behind the coldthat had been nipping at his face.          “I’m surprisedyou remember where I live.” Hoseokchuckled, stepping out of the way to let the younger man in, noddingat the small utter of a ‘thank you’ sent his way.          “Well, I’vebeen here enough.” Jimin said, unwrapping his scarf and taking his coat off, slightlytaken aback when Hoseok took them off of him to hang up.          “What’s up?”He asked, doing a good job athiding the fact he was slightly nervous Jimin was currently in hishouse for the fifth time but it was the first time he had come completely out of his own volition.          “Erm, nothing…Like I said - just took a walk.” Thebrunette said with pursed lips, clasping his hands together in frontof him and swaying a little on his feet. Avoiding Hoseok’s eyes forsome reason.          “You came herethough. You could have gone anywhere else.” Hoseoktook a teasing tone, walking to the kitchen with Jimin trailing behindhim.          “I guess I justwanted to see you.” Jiminsighed, smiling and leaning on the counter as Hoseok took a glass outof the cupboard. “Even if Ididn’t realise it.”          “I’mflattered.” ThankfullyHoseok had his back to the younger, so the heat colouring his facewasn’t on show and he could pass his comment off as a joke.          “Shut up.”Jimin chuckled, watching asHoseok moved around the room.          “Do you want adrink or anything?”          “You actually havedrinks? Other than water and alcohol?” Jiminmock gasped, pretending to be shocked because he knew exactly whatHoseok was going to say next.          “No, I havewater… And alcohol.” Theolder pouted, holding up the glass and staring at the tap in thesink.          “Never change.”Jimin shook his head,grinning endearingly. “I’lljust have water.”          “On a Friday? You’rea riot.” Hoseok quipped,pouring Jimin a drink and then getting himself the same.          “I don’t wantto end up saying or doing anything stupid tonight thanks.” Jiminreplied quietly, taking the cup and looking down at the water insideof it as he talked rather than at Hoseok.          “Like what?”          “Nothing...”Jimin shrugged, flushing andwondering why he had even said anything in the first place.          “Do you want towatch a movie?” Hoseokasked, noting Jimin’s sudden change in demeanour and not wantinghim to feel uncomfortable even if he wasn’t sure whyexactly he felt uncomfortable.          “Yeah, sure...”

Theyboth settled on the couch andplaced their drinks on the coffee table,each sat on either end with a space left between them, as Hoseokflicked through the channels until he found the only movie that wasclose to have started to watch. It was some coming of age movie thatHoseok is pretty sure he was made to watch in high school but Jiminseemed interested so he went with it. The silence soon washed over them asHoseok vaguely remembered the plot, he knew sometime soon that therewas going to be some big dramatic reveal that the main character’sfather was dead and that would, in turn, kick start the plot.

Wanting to get comfortable, he movedfurther down the couch to pull his legs up, arm laying on the back ofthe couch so that his torso wasn’t awkwardly trying to stayupright. He was closer to Jimin in this position however and he sawthe younger man shift his eyes to look at him, shuffling a little inhis seat and clearing his throat, the tips of his ear turning red.Hoseok tried not to thinkanything of it, and he especially tried not to look at the way thelight of the television highlighted Jimin’s face, from the wisps ofhis eyelashes to the tip of his nose and the outline of his plumplips that were slightly pouted in concentration. Instead, he tore hisgaze back to the movie and tried to look interested. He also tried toactually be interested but he was finding it difficult. The movie wasactually boring him and he wasn’t sure if the heaviness of his eyeswas just a random sensation or if he was slowly falling asleep… Hisblinks grew slower and slower and his limbs weighed down on him moreand more until his eyes wereclosed longer each time he blinked. He tried but eventually his eyelids just stayedshut…

          “Hoseok?” WhenHoseok finally woke up, not even realising he had fallen alseep, hewas greeted with the sight of everything appearing horizontal. He heard Jimincall his name but he didn’t respond as he tried to make sense ofwhat position he was in. He figured it out when he felt a hand in hishair and saw the edges of Jimin’s kneesin front of him. In his sleep, he must have started to fall over onthe couch and had ended up in Jimin’slap. If that wasn’t enough for his poor heart, the younger had also started to play with his hair at some point in his sleep (a sleep that waslong enough for whatever movie they were watching to have finishedand gone to advertisements). “Areyou awake?” Jiminasked but yet again, he didn’t respond. Rather, he wanted to relishin the moment for a second because he could just about believe it. Hewould have expected Jimin to push him off or at least lay him down onthe couch or something but instead he decided to twirl his fingersaround the black locks of hair as though it was the most naturalthing to do… He could barely believe it. He closed his eyes,planning on enjoying the feeling for a little while longer. He didn’texpect any more than this. This was enough. This was more thanenough. However, Jimin didn’t want to stop there it seemed as hecould soon feel the brunette leaning down and his heartbeat picked upin anticipation, though he wasn’t entirely sure what he wasanticipating. Then he felt something soft press against his templeand linger there. It soon clicked that Jimin was kissing him. He waskissing the side of his head. This is where Hoseok was sure his heartwas going to stop and he almost held his breath but Jimin didn’tlinger for long, soon sitting back up and also removing his hand fromHoseok’s hair. “Iwish we could do this every day...”Jiminwhispered with a sigh and Hoseok could no longer pretend.          “Jimin...”Hebegan, pushing himself off of the comfortable lap and turning to face the other man who was now staring at him with wide, scared looking eyes.          “You were awake?”Jimin gaped, hands coming upto cover his mouth in disbelief. “Ohmy god, I’m so sorry.” Hebegan to panic and Hoseok reached out to try and calm himdown.          “Jimin, no -.”          “I have to go.”Before his fingers could evenreach Jimin however, the younger man was bolting upright to a stand,brushing his hair back and looking around in a fluster, as though hewasn’t sure what to do with himself – which in all honesty, hedidn’t.          “Jimin, wait.”He said before the othercould walk off, effectively grabbing his attention. “Wait,sit down.” Jimin did justthat, a guilty look on his face that made Hoseok feel bad even thoughhe had nothing to feel bad about. This wasn’t a bad thing.          “Hoseok, I’mreally sorry. I thought you were asleep and I just. I don’t know.”Jimin couldn’t even look athim and Hoseok could only smile understandingly.          “It’s okay.”           “You’renot mad?” Hoseok shook hishead, unable to stop the little breathy chuckle that tumbled out fromhis lips.          “Why would I be?In fact, I’m… I’m actually happy.” Hesaid, rubbing the back of his neck. “Youjust did something I’ve wished I could do to you.” Fora second, Jimin looked surprised but that surprise soon melted downinto relief, and then there was soft grin on his face as his entirebody relaxed. The trust he already had in Hoseok telling him that this wasn’t a joke, Hoseok was being serious.          “Why didn’tyou?” Jimin asked, his voicewas quiet and near a whisper but yet loud enough for Hoseok to hear himloud and clear.          “I was worriedyou would reject me.” Heanswered honestly, unconsciously moving closer to Jimin, their kneestouching.          “So we’ve beenthinking the same thing this entire time?” Jiminhuffed, tilting his head and feeling rather silly as he buried his face in his hands with an embarrassed groan.          “I guess so.”Hoseok hummed with a nod ofhis head, the tips of his fingers brushing against the fabric of Jimin’strousers as his eyes looked down.          “We’rehopeless...” Jimin let his hands fall down onto his lap, somehow managing to both pout and smile at the same time.          “I guess we are… Neverthought I would agree with Yoongi.” Hoseokscoffed, thinking back to what Yoongi had said to him earlier thatday that he had primarily refuted.          “What?”          “Nothing,nevermind.” Hoseok shookhis head, just now realising that he hadn’t stopped smiling sinceJimin had sat back down.          “Sois it safe to assume our feelings our mutual?” Jiminasked hesitantly and Hoseok could only find it endearingly adorablethat even in this obvious situation, he was still nervouslyuncertain. Although, he could understand.          “Mostdefinitely.” He said, theirhands finding each other without looking, fingers naturallyintertwining on top of their laps. Jimin bit his lip as though he wastrying to suppress a smile – though it didn’t work.          “So can I kissyou again?”          “Also a most definitely...”Hoseok leaned forward, and sodid Jimin, their heads tilting. For a second they stayed there, as though they were waiting for the other to make that final move and Hoseok was more than happy to be the one to do it. With one hand holding Jimin’s and the other resting atop the younger man’s thigh, he pressed their lips together together and ifHoseok thought Jimin’s lips were soft when they were touching his head thenhe had no idea what soft felt like… The kiss was warm and more than hehad ever dreamed about (and he’d dreamt about it a lot). 

Everythinghe’d wanted to say for the past year, he poured into the kiss, andwhen Jimin’s hand came up to cup the side of his face, hecould say for certain thatthis was probably the happiest he had ever felt. Not even dancing couldcompare.

run era was iconic tbh

hope you liked it!

[notthetoothfairy]

He’s Got You High

For @a-simple-rainbow. ♥♥♥

She wanted something based on this post: Kurt sends an email to his TA while high on pain meds after a wisdom teeth extraction.

read on AO3

Blaine is in the middle of his theatre history class when his phone signals a new email in his inbox. Discreetly hiding the phone from his instructor’s view by keeping his hands behind a stack of textbooks on his desk, he goes to his email folder and checks the sender.

It reads, Kurt Hummel.

He has to bite his tongue to stop the smile forming on his lips. Kurt is a sophomore, only a year behind Blaine, and takes improv and stage combat class with Blaine. He’s also a student in one of Mme Tibideaux’s more advanced voice studio classes that Blaine miraculously got to be the TA for this year.

To say that Kurt is Blaine’s favorite student would be an understatement – in fact, hopelessly crushing on him is probably more accurate.

It’s not like Blaine is planning to do anything about it, at least not while he’s Kurt’s TA. It would be inappropriate, unprofessional, and probably also really awkward, especially if Kurt isn’t interested.

So, he’s not fooling himself into thinking that Kurt’s email will be anything out of the ordinary. Probably a note of absence or questions about the final exam… though, as Blaine notices with a frown, the subject reads “Paper Eggstension”. Autocorrect maybe? There’s no way Kurt’s spelling is that bad, Blaine has read and graded most of his MUS105 papers.

Glancing at the teacher to ensure he’s still unobserved, Blaine opens the email, intrigued and a bit concerned now. He scans the first few lines and – oh, wow.

Everyone at NYADA knows Kurt is full of surprises and he’s certainly made an impression on Blaine more than once but this…? This has Blaine blushing, giggling under his breath, shaking his head fondly and wanting to check up on Kurt all at once.

To: Blaine Anderson

From: Kurt Hummel

Subject: Paper Eggstension

---

Dear Mr. Blaine,

sry, I forgot your last name because Rachel calls you Mr. Dreamboat! And y would I use your last name anyway? You told us to call you Blaine. Thats a nice name. Blaiiiine.

You said other stuff too. Like that we could send you our MUS105 paper before we send it to Mme Tibidibideaux (I wish she let us call her Blaine too) but only if we dont miss the deadline. Now I gotta tell you: No can-do. But I have an excuse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know you don’t believe. But you should. Cuz Blaine, u see – I got my teeth removed. The smarty ones. The wisdom teat. Anyway. I got them out. It was brutality. So much pain, worse than when I watched you unfairly lose Midmight Madnesssss against that senior douche, whatever the fuck his name is again. You should have won Blaine. You were better. I think Rachel bribe the judge bc she went out with senior douche… what is hid name? Bobby? Barney?

But PLEASE could I get a few more days, could you ask Mme T.…??? I really wanna do well bc… you see, Mme T., she scares the hell out of me. Ha that rhymes, triple! Cuz I’m awesome. Yes, I am. You can just accept that as fact or you can also go out wih me and see how awesome I am for yourself, your choice (but pick the latter!). But anyway please please pls pls pls can I hand it the paper a bit later? I really cant submit something bad -- and Im afraid they pulled out my brain with the teeth!!!!!!!! I can’t write a well paper without a brain!

My doctor says Ill regret writing emails while Im hai (thats German for shark, funny fact) so I’m gonna stop and hope that you will say yes! Please bro? Oh! Brody. Brodouche. Midnight Madman. Destroy him next time! (He broke up with Rach, he deserves it.)

Thank you, Mr. Blaineboat. I really like you.

Kurt xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Blaine reads the email three times before deciding that he should wait until after class to type out a response. In the state he’s in right now, he’ll probably do something stupid and just write back, Yes to all.

He wants to, of course. He’d give Kurt an extension on his paper and say yes to a date with him in a heartbeat but… he knows he’ll have to convince Mme Tibideaux, sort out his personal TA-student dating policy (and maybe ask around if NYADA has an official take on it) and make sure Kurt really meant to type this and didn’t just do so in the spur of the painkiller-induced moment.

The class can’t end fast enough but as soon as it’s over and Blaine finds a quiet corner in the library to think of what to respond, he blanks, drafting several replies but ending up deleting all of them.

“Goddammit,” he mutters to himself. “Just write something.”

In the end, “something” doesn’t really compare to Shakespeare but Blaine figures that at least he won’t risk his job over it, either.

And maybe, just maybe, Kurt will catch the ambiguity in his words.

-

“What are you working on?” Rachel asks when she comes back to the loft, arms full of grocery bags that Kurt hopes are filled with veggies for him to make soup with. He seriously craves eating something that isn’t liquid but mushy veggies drowning in hot water really is the maximum of cheating when it comes to his pained cheeks. He knew it was a bad idea to get both upper wisdom teeth out the same day. But it’s too late to complain. At least he has a best friend who brings him soup.

Kurt sighs at the laptop in front of him.

“My paper for Mme Tibideaux,” he responds. “You know I love Sondheim but interpreting his work while physically injured makes me want to kill him.”

“He’s in his mid-eighties, Kurt,” Rachel tells him. “Let an old man be.”

“Ugh.” Kurt rubs his eyes. “The meds are making me tired, though.”

“Why do you even bother writing the paper when you got an extension from Mr. Dreamboat?”

Kurt frowns at Rachel. “Extension? When would I have gotten that?”

“In your email?” Rachel frowns back. “Come on, don’t tell me you chickened out just because you’re in love with him. He’s still our TA, he could probably do something about that deadline, so-”

“I don’t remember writing an email.” Kurt goes to student email and punches in his username and password. “Or getting one back, for that matter. Like, wouldn’t I rem-” He blinks in surprise, catching Blaine’s name in his inbox – twice, even. How high was he, exactly? “Wait, what did I…?” Clicking on the email, bits and pieces come back to him, and he suddenly grabs the couch cushion next to him, holding onto it for dear life. “Oh my god, no.”

“What?”

“Rachel.” Kurt feels the blood draining from his face. “Oh, Jesus, please tell me I didn’t write that…”

He scrolls through the quoted email below Blaine’s short responses (Dear Kurt, thank you for telling me! And yes, of course! I’ll talk to Mme Tibideaux, and get back to you once I know more. Get well soon! All the best, Blaine, and the more recent Dear Kurt, I got a yes from Mme Tibideaux, you’re getting one more week! Best, Blaine) and cringes when he reads the first line.

“I did. Fuuuuuck. Oh god, now I wish Sondheim could kill me.”

“Again, the guy’s, like, 85…” Rachel says slowly. “And why would you- whoa, is that your email to Blaine?”

Kurt doesn’t answer, instead opting to hide his face in his hands.

“You did not tell him we call him Mr. Dreamboat.”

Kurt whimpers.

“You did not ask him out!” Rachel squeals.

Kurt lets out a miserable whine.

“Oh my god, Kurt, you did not tell him you like him and signed the email with a dozen kissing faces!!!”

“WHAT?!” Kurt’s hands fly back to his laptop. He didn’t re-read that part. “Oh my god! I ju- Rachel, I can never go back to that school. I’m such a failure at life, Jesus Christ.”

“You’re very religious all of a sudden.”

“Don’t just sit there mocking me,” Kurt begs. “Tell me it was all just a bad dream.”

Rachel gives him a look of deep, genuine pity. “I really wish I could but I doubt my eyes can never unsee that email. Also, I know you wrote that while you were high on pain meds but I am a bit upset you never told me you didn’t like Brody. Might have saved me some trouble.”

Kurt rolls his eyes at her. “You honestly believe I never brought it up? What do you think we were we having that flea-market chair argument for? And don’t even pretend like you would have called it off with him just because I said something.” Rachel opens her mouth to speak but Kurt shakes his head violently. “It doesn’t matter, anyway – what am I going to do about this?!”

Rachel shrugs. “Kurt, it’s out there. All you can do now is roll with it.”

“In my grave, you mean?”

“In class. To which we’re going tomorrow since you’re so much better already,” Rachel tells him sternly. “Judging by Mr. Dreamb-”

“We can’t call him that anymore,” Kurt says quickly.

“Fine.” She sighs. “Judging by Blaine’s reply, he’s not bothered by it. Who knows, maybe he’s flattered. Or happy about it. It’s not every day you get an email from a cute guy confessing he’s crushing on you.”

“Yeah, right,” Kurt mumbles into the sleeve of his sweater. “As if I stand a chance with him.”

“No time like the present to find out,” Rachel says with finality. “Now, I’m making you soup, and you’re going to put on some Sondheim so you can work on your paper with some fresh insights and maximum concentration.”

It’s a nice thought – but Kurt doesn’t get anything done that night.

-

Blaine carefully keeps his eyes on his notebook when Rachel and Kurt walk into his class.

He was expecting Kurt to come back today (and no, he did not google how long it takes for people to recover from wisdom teeth extraction – he just asked Sam, who had gotten it done right before moving to New York), and he might have put a little extra effort into looking good today. He never got a response from Kurt, so he figures the guy has either silently acknowledged the paper extension, avoided Blaine for a number of possible reasons or forgotten about the exchange entirely.

Whatever the motivation behind it, Blaine will not despair over it. He’s Kurt’s TA, and as such won’t try anything anyway. NYADA doesn’t seem to have any policy against TAs dating students but nevertheless, he doesn’t want to put either them in an awkward position.

Which doesn’t even take into account the fact that he still doesn’t know whether Kurt remembers asking him out, whether he actually meant it, or whether he intends to ask again.

He might want to wait until Blaine’s no longer his TA as well. That’s alright with Blaine. After all, there’s a month left to this semester, so he can wait. He totally can.

He looks up from his notebook with a smile.

“Hi everyone,” he greets the class. “How are you doing? So, the deadline for your papers is Friday so I hope you’ve all sent me your drafts in case you want me to read them.” He can’t help but let his eyes wander to where Kurt is sitting. “Unless there were any reasons to hand them in late.”

Kurt blinks really quickly at the sudden eye contact, and lets out a nervous laugh.

And Blaine realizes he really totally cannot wait a whole month to get answers to his questions.

Before he can stop himself, he adds, “Everyone with extensions on their papers, please come see me after class.”

Of course, that’s just Kurt, but the class won’t know. Okay, Rachel might know, seeing as she elbows Kurt so hard it almost sends him flying off his seat. Kurt almost doesn’t seem to notice it as he’s busy staring at Blaine with a bit of a twitch in his eye.

Blaine suppresses a groan. This isn’t the plan. What is he doing?

-

“Blaine, I am so sorry!” Kurt exclaims in misery when the rest of the students slip away after class is over.

He’s beyond glad that Blaine didn’t make him sing any of his pieces today because apart from already being nervous whenever Blaine does ask him to do that, today his anxiety probably would have been the final straw. He might have run off or broken out into tears in front of everyone.

Blaine looks at him with a small smile. “You’ve got nothing to apologize.”

“Uh, yes, I do,” Kurt says stubbornly. He’s beyond mortified; the least Blaine can do is let him apologize properly. “I really didn’t mean to-”

“Oh.” Blaine looks down on the pile of sheet music he was stacking. “Yeah, right. Uhm, seriously though, I know how bad pain killers can be, I don’t blame you for-”

“Oh thank god, you know it was the pain meds,” Kurt breathes out in relief. “I was afraid you’d think-”

“No worries,” Blaine cuts him off. “It’s alright if you didn’t mean any of it.”

Kurt hesitates for a second, and gulps as he takes in Blaine’s slightly shaky hand movement as he stuffs the sheet music into his messenger bag.

“If…?” he asks quietly.

“I mean that,” Blaine says, eyebrows furrowing slightly. “Sorry, that, of course.”

Kurt’s at a loss. He’s getting mixed signals, and just judging by the last bit of the exchange – if that was the only thing that had happened, his stupid email and the fact that Blaine is his freaking TA forgotten – he might even be encouraged to inquire further.

But he can’t just admit to meaning all of it, right?

He settles for the safer topic. “So you wanted to speak to me about my paper?” he asks.

“Uh, yes.” Blaine smiles, though he still looks distracted. “I just wanted to ask you whether you had any questions about the material since you couldn’t join us for the last two sessions.”

“I…” Kurt shakes his head. “No, I think I’ve got it covered. Rachel caught me up.”

“Alright. Well, if you have any questions, you can send me an email.”

“Or not,” Kurt says quickly. “I think I’m swearing off emails for a while.”

Blaine laughs, the sound warm and pleasant in Kurt’s ear.

“Right,” he says. “I know this is a bit awkward but… it could have been worse. You could have written that to Mme Tibideaux or Miss July.”

Kurt is so relieved that Blaine is able to joke about it that he replies with a mindless, “Yeah, except I wouldn’t have told them I liked them, so…”

Blaine gapes at him, and Kurt realizes a second to late what he’s implying yet again.

“Oh,” Blaine says. “I, uh-”

“I’ve got to go,” Kurt cuts in, ears burning. “Can I go?”

“Uh, uhm, well, yeah, of course,” Blaine stutters.

As Kurt turns around and gathers his stuff, he can hear Blaine mutter something to himself. Kurt’s almost out the door, when Blaine calls out, “Kurt?”

Kurt turns around gingerly. “Yeah?”

“I really didn’t mind.”

“Okay...”

“Like, really really.”

Kurt wants to scream, But what does that mean?! Instead, he takes a deep breath, collects his thoughts, and says, “Okay… see you in improv, I guess?”

Blaine nods quickly. “Yeah. Later, Kurt.”

“Later, Blaine.”

-

Blaine is early to improv class, even though it’s all the way across campus. But he didn’t stop for his usual coffee, grabbed a salad to-go instead of lunch with his friends from his dorm, and also maybe, possibly hurried to get to class because Kurt is usually early to everything.

Blaine is the first to arrive, though, so he grabs his usual seat and gets out his salad. He’s about to slice the egg when he hears Kurt’s voice from outside the classroom.

“Talk to you later, Rachel.”

“Okay. And, Kurt, remember to ask-”

“Bye now!”

As soon as Kurt’s through the door, his eyes land on Blaine and he freezes.

“Uh, hi,” he says. His cheeks are slightly red, probably from the cold weather outside. “You’re – uhm, early.”

“Yeah.” Blaine looks down briefly, willing himself to just go for it this time. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Again?” Kurt bites his lip. “I thought-”

“Kurt, when I said yes in the email, I meant yes to both.”

“Both?” Kurt frowns. “I don’t-”

“Both questions. Or requests, I guess.”

Kurt’s eyes widen. “You mean…”

“Yeah, I mean,” Blaine says with as much conviction as possible. “At first, I didn’t want to say anything because, you know, TA and all, but… seeing you in class, knowing, or well, hoping that you meant it, and… I don’t know, I couldn’t wait those four weeks until the semester is over. So I asked you to stay after class but then that felt super shady, too, so… I don’t even really know what I’m doing right now.”

“Do you know what you’re saying, though?” Kurt asks breathlessly.

“Well…” Blaine can’t suppress a grin. “Unlike some people, I’m not on pain meds right now, so, yeah, I’m pretty sure I have full control over my words.”

Kurt glares at him but it’s mostly façade, especially considering he’s still looking like Christmas came a bit early this year, and Blaine… well, Blaine is floored at the thought of being the one to actually make him look like that.

“Well, apparently those pain meds at least made me confess something neither of us could admit to sober, so…”

“Hey, for the record,” Blaine says, getting up to stand in front of Kurt, “I fully intended to ask you out once the semester was over.”

Kurt’s eyes are locked on Blaine with sheer intensity, and Blaine isn’t proud to admit it makes his knees a bit weak.

“Really?” Kurt asks, clearly intrigued, then sighs. “So my email was completely unnecessary.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Blaine says. “I got so many laughs out of it.”

“Oh god, shut up.”

“No, I mean, it – eggstension?” Blaine chuckles. “Wisdom teat? There were some good ones there.”

“What part of shut up-”

Waiting really isn’t Blaine’s strong suit, he realizes, as he leans in to kiss Kurt, four weeks too early to be completely professional, yet about half a year too late considering how long he’s had his eye on him.

Kurt’s protest is muffled against Blaine’s lips, and dies down completely once they press closer together to get better access. They part for air briefly, and Kurt whispers, “When I got up this morning, I would have sworn this would be the last thing I’d ever say, but I’m pretty proud of myself for writing that email now.”

Blaine licks his bottom lip, chasing the faint taste of Kurt there. “I’m glad you wrote it, too.” This whole thing between them has lasted about a minute but he wants more so badly he feels like he’s physically incapable from drawing Kurt back in and kissing him again.

They keep at it until other students start to trickle into the room, and even then they share meaningful glances and press their ankles together between their chairs.

Between all the talking and kissing, Blaine didn’t get to eat his salad, so about halfway through the lecture, his stomach starts growling.

Kurt turns to him with a grin. “Forgot to eat?”

“I guess I was distracted.”

“Hm, by what, I wonder?” Kurt asks cheekily.

Blaine eyes his untouched salad in amusement. “I guess I got pretty egg-sited over this boy I like.”

It’s totally worth all the frustrated elbowing he gets in response.