#i still got given all these moments so
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there's no way the bathroom at peppino's pizza is actually that big but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . hey ummm anyway.... i care them...... anyway there's a lil ramble on my take on fake pep's like psyche or whatever in tags on the og post if ur into that kinda thing :y
hey! it's a series! fake peppino world tour: [noise] [noisette] [peppino]<- u are here [gustavo] [gerome] [noisette again]
#ramble after realtags yeag. shoutout to serrangelic btw suggesting the silhouettes thing bc i would have Died otherwise#pizza tower#peppino spaghetti#fake peppino#gustavo and brick#arting#pizzaposting#so anyway i think fake peppino has like. a general awareness that he is supposed to Be Peppino and that he was Made to do that#and likewise he does generally try to...do that. the thing he does NOT realize is hes like really goddamn bad at it#not to be mean but like...c'mon. they are pretty distinctly different kinds of guys even beyond the physiology yknow.#he's neither on-brand nor fooling anyone dsjdsjjkgfsd. BUT!#since the rest of the cast generally likes him [at least as I play it] he thinks hes doing just fine#he's like 'oh they r happy with me so i must be getting a good grade in being peppino :)'#so getting told that 'yeah you actually really suck at that but that was never the reason people liked you'#and told that by og model peppino no less--yknow THE guy he's supposed to be living up to#who's already a bit intimidating for that and who ALSO totally wrecked him TWICE in the tower#making him acutely familiar with just how formidable the guy is and how much there IS to live up to....#it's a Moment for sure. not really a sad or hurt one though. just... contemplative.#thinking abt people liking him for being the guy he's already naturally been being even though that guy is Not Peppino#i don't think he's gonna be super broken up about realizing he has a bad grade in peppino given everything else hes got now#nor do i really think he cares enough to go like reinvent himself or whatever after the fact#he seems to b pretty clearly having fun with it already so i think he just keeps doing that#and in some cases he still has the pre-installed peppino traits/instincts like to cooka da pizza. and that's fine#is this projection. yes. but if youve been following me awhile you know most of my character writing is ghdhfdgf#gonna kinda expand on all this in the gerome one which is...one after next. itll be a bit but man.#anyway peppino will never admit to anyone and especially not himself that he's gotten a little attached to the guy. hee hoo#pep tends to be kinda surly but he certainly has his ways of showing he cares. all of which are on display here#''that thing is not my son'' says man currently watching thing's antics with the 'bemused dad' arms crossed pose. yeah ok buddy.#gus is totally onto him already but hes not gonna say anything.#if u read all this ur prize is not having to go decode fp's rot13. his lines are ''meant to be you...?'' and ''wrong question.''
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ngl i've been kinda surprised by the lack of veilguard stuff i've seen on my dash since it released - i've very thoroughly given up on it, but even ppl who seemed hyped about it have largely just... not been posting abt veilguard at all.
then i looked in the da critical tag and, uh, yeah. i can understand why. it's not an actively bad game, but it sounds to be very... shallow and mcu-ified? i'll admit i had basically given up on veilguard, but i did kinda want bioware to prove me wrong. not that i would've bought it anyway given the way they've treated their company veterans. it's just such a shame.
#weirdly though reading ppl's thoughts on veilguard makes me want to continue my da:o replaythrough even more#origins is *so* good#it may have its issues and god knows i've spoken about them#but you can see the creativity seeping out from the limitations of 2009 tech#bioware#dragon age critical#da2 did its damn best too given how quickly they had to crunch that game to release#inquisition even had its moments as much as i don't care for it#anyway. thank fuck i still have obsidian inxile larian and owlcat for great rpgs#see i want to add logic artists to that list bc i've been playing expeditions rome recently#and my god. i'd guess the budget is a bit/fair bit below owlcat's typical budget for their games#but it's still really fun and playing as a female character is a delightfully (and sometimes depressingly) impactful choice#BUT the studio got fucking dissolved by the founders so they could create a new studio focused on the goddamn blockchain#zero points for the founders all the points to the actual employees who clearly loved the setting they were working with
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i've been dying for a poll option ever since i saw my followers' answers to that text post from february 2022 asking people whether they pronounce beloved as "be-lov-ed" or "be-loved". many people were emphatic about only using one option, and many others use both but were not always able to articulate when they use 2 syllables vs. 3. so out of the goodness of my heart and my insatiable lust for knowledge i have gone through the notes on that post and written down some likely contenders! you're welcome!!!!
BEFORE YOU ANSWER! think about how you would pronounce beloved in the following syntactic contexts:
noun, talking directly to the beloved: hey there beloved
noun, talking about rather than to the beloved: my beloved lives in a pineapple under the sea
adjective in a noun phrase: my beloved x lives in a pineapple under the sea
verb participle: x is beloved by y
okay poll time! there are no wrong answers!! and apologies in advance if i didn't capture your truth, i only had 10 options and life is a rich tapestry!!
#oh man i could have easily come up with another 5-8 options but they cap you at 10. which is probably a good thing#one person said they say 'my be-lov-ed x' but 'my much be-loved x'. the only difference being the 'much'. couldn't fit that one on here#someone else said they use 3 syllables in a possessive noun phrase (my be-lov-ed x) but 2 if it's not possessive (the be-loved x)#one person said it depends on whether it's past or present & i wasn't exactly sure what that meant. 'x is beloved' vs. 'x was beloved'?#i also think there's likely a distinction for some people between 'x was beloved' and 'x was beloved by y' but couldn't get into that#oh and then there's 'beloved by' vs. 'beloved of'#and since some of these are syntactic distinctions and some are semantic or otherwise i'm sure there's a whole matrix of combinations#like '3-syll noun if it's a person but 2 if it's a thing. 2-syll adjective/verb participle for both people and things'#that was beyond the scope of this poll lol#but mostly why i'm so curious is because people will very emphatically say something that might not mean what they think it means#like for instance i got the impression that at least some of the people saying 'be-lov-ed when i'm talking to them‚ be-loved when i'm#talking about them' actually mean they use be-lov-ed as a noun and be-loved otherwise#and some of the people saying 'always 2 syllables' probably have exceptions that they weren't thinking of at the moment#in particular 'dearly beloved'#and i'm very curious to know if 3-syllable people still use 3 syllables in the construction 'he was beloved by all'#so i think people's answers might change when given a list of more detailed options#fun with pronunciation#prosody#my posts#also i stressed for so long about what to call beloved in the 'x is beloved by y' construction#but settled on verb participle because i think it's fairly descriptive and accurate#so hopefully that's not too confusing? like it is a verb participle but for a verb that doesn't exist anymore (other than the participle)?#and even in 'my beloved x' beloved is a verb participle being used as an adjective if you're thinking more etymologically#but a lot of people were distinguishing 'be-loved as a verb' from other forms and i assume what they meant by that was 'x is beloved'
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Considering the. Ahem. Ways this year has gone, I've not been thinking about it all that much, but. I did start this year with the motto of Year Of Unfucking My Life. With a few goals involved in that.
I got an official adhd diagnosis, as well as a diagnosis for PCOS. Other diagnoses in progress. Gotten adhd meds and birth control to regulate periods. I've gone back to school and I'm keeping up with it better than ever before. I've even been working on practicing driving, something I've been largely neglecting since I first got my driving permit, um... 11 years ago...
I just need to actually Get my license. And I need to get it before the end of the year. If I can accomplish that, then I'll say the Year Of Unfucking My Life was successful.
#speculation nation#i had some pretty major negative And positive influences for this goal of mine.#primary negative influence of course being my dad abruptly dying.#but that also led to the primary positive influence of the life insurance payout that's letting me just focus on school for my final year.#it's like a monkey's paw curl kind of moment. i got a genuinely astounding amount of money#more than enough to live off for a year+ and pay off the rest of my schooling.#with this i have finally exited the purgatory of part time school full time work to pay my way through school#a setup that led to endless stress (both physically and mentally) and suffering grades.#failing some classes and taking longer bc part time Anyways. locking me into years and years of this perpetual fucking Hell.#ive escaped it. school is so so so much more manageable when i dont have to work a job. im actually keeping up with my assignments.#for once theres no uncertainty about passing any of my classes. i Will pass them all. and i expect As in most if not all of them.#it's been fucking Amazing. everything i couldve wanted. and it came with the low low cost of losing my father when i was only 26.#... 'low' being sarcastic here of course. he was the 2nd worst person i couldve lost in my life. second only to my sister.#the 2nd worst grief i will Ever experience. bc he was my Good parent. hes the very reason i have a future at All.#and losing him fucked me up Severely. im still working on recovering. i kind of figure i always Will be.#thank god id already been taking spring semester off bc that would've been Horrible to go thru while in school.#i honestly probably would've just withdrawn from the semester. theres no Way id have kept up with it#given how damned BUSY those first few weeks after were. between funeral prep and inventorying and packing up his house.#so fucking much involved in settling an estate. and im the lucky one in that my sister's been handling all the legal shit.#so i simultaneously was dealt one of the most severe blows i ever Will be dealt#while also being given probably the biggest boost i'll ever get in my life.#if everything goes well with graduating and getting an IT job then i'll never want for money again.#considering there was a time early last year when i got as low as literally $7 in my bank account. this is a pretty big deal.#it's just... strange. the ways things go in life. this has been a very strange year for me.#just doing my best to use this boost to the best of my ability. even if it feels like im taking advantage of his death.#it's what he wouldve wanted me to do.
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I know I’ve made other posts talking about or alluding to this but like. obviously there are like the old hollywood movies in the sort of dyke subtext canon (all about eve, rebecca, johnny guitar, etc) but like. there are so many movies that like 10 people have seen but I have such a clear gay vision or interpretation for it. most of them aren’t even GOOD. and yet!!
like the great lie is the one that haunts me the most (or the women but I think that one is kind of different for me perhaps bc I’ve already talked about it here a lot or perhaps bc I think of it as being more well known and watched than I think it actually is? actually it’s probably that I think it is an overall good and well executed and entertaining movie which isn’t really true of most of these tbh). but I also think a lot about like when ladies meet, or old acquaintance, or sadie mckee, or the shining hour, or the model and the marriage broker, or a woman’s secret, or the bigamist, or craig’s wife, or born to be bad, or separate tables, or even dark victory to a degree. others too certainly those are just the ones that come to mind. for half of these it’s not even like oh these women are gay together it’s just like hey I think she’s a lesbian. and I’m right. but my genius will never be fully appreciated in my day unfortunately.
#a woman’s secret has kind of been haunting me since I watched it like a week or so ago in that it’s literally got so many interesting#pieces and facets and I find so much of it very interesting but they just like really don’t dig in or come together so it’s enough that#I think about it and not remotely satisfying which I’m beginning to think is just how I feel about nicholas ray’s stuff. I don’t really#have a large sample but like born to be bad is not a movie that I think is good but it has like infected me somehow. which i did and still#do largely attribute to joantaine. but like idk. and also I wanted to like Johnny guitar and obviously there’s a lot of interesting stuff#in there to dissect it just… feels unsatisfying/like it doesn’t come together. idk what it is.#also like it is fully sampling bias that across the three I listed as noted subtext and then all the others I listed#there’s uh. 4 joan crawford movies 4 bette davis movies 3 joan fontaine movies#but it’s still really funny to me lmao… I will say how did I not list ANY babs movies… that can’t be right… I mean like night nurse#and ladies they talk about def have some gay moments and like. walk on the wild side exists lmao#but I wouldn’t really consider any of those to be consistent with the thing I’m trying to describe here lol#anyways. I think that’s enough rambling for now.#old hollywood#my post#also I would happily expand on my vision for any of these lmao. it’s just that I think it generally requires a certain familiarity with the#movie itself and. a lot of these I wouldn’t necessarily recommend? not that they’re all bad just like. not incredible idk#which kind of hinders this a bit. and now like I could give background provide clips etc but then that’s requiring a level of effort#that I’m not gonna spontaneously exert while sitting in bed Thinking. which is what this post is lmao. (‘that’s enough rambling for now’#I said several tags ago… a fact which I could easily change but shan’t.)#(edit of prior tags to say that I wrote the tags before mentioning the women in this post bc idk for a moment I lived in a world in which#everyone knew the women was about dykes. so anyways it’s now 5 joan movies 4 joantaine movies#which is neat. the sampling bias is also fun bc like yes 5 joan movies is a lot to mention but I’ve seen like 30 joan movies so.#of course there are other movies of hers where I would be calling her gay but like im less invested. joantaine is a lot funnier to me bc#I’ve only actually seen 7 joantaine movies. and like ok including the bigamist is admittedly wild given that my queer interpretation of it#is like. her and ida lupino who do not so much as meet in the film. but the extent to which I wish they did fuels me)
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MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 14 / 31 * JENNIFER'S PORCH SWING 」
Lone Pine Timeline
Marty leans back, his lips spread wide in a grin as the porch swing rocks underneath them. It’s a perfect day—almost too perfect—the kind that just invites disaster, because when the weather is nice, the sun is a brilliant blue as far as the eye can see, and the birds nearby are singing their own joyful song, as if they’re just as happy to be free of the shackles of high school as they are, something must go wrong.
It’s Murphy’s Law, after all, and he knows all-too-painfully well that there’s something to that law.
He’s making progress—or at least he thinks he is. Right now, he’s smiling—something that even just four months ago felt impossible at times—filled with hope for the future despite the still-foreign land he’s been teleported to. High school, Strickland, they’re all things of the past and even back in his time, he and Jen have been eagerly awaiting the day they said good-bye to that hellhole. They’re one step closer to their lives together, to the kids, to their gorgeous house in Hilldale and a future he won’t screw up, not this time.
Maybe he’ll never be their Marty, not in the way their loving stares and easy laughs and multitude of family albums’ worth of memories that he’s still slightly envious of the other Marty over hope he is—think he is—but he’s learning. If that means fusing himself with this shadowy version that only exists in memories so he can believe that he belongs—
—or at least be allowed to stay here—
—then he will, no matter how difficult it is.
Maybe he doesn’t remember the trips to Disneyland, the block parties his father would coordinate for the ‘big’ holidays that everyone in Lyon Estates turned up to—remember the year Dad got the dunk tank and was so confident everyone’s aim would suck that he volunteered to go in it himself?—or all their little family traditions that everyone, even Jen, seemed to know and reminisce fondly over, but he’s learned how to pretend.
Bit-by-bit he’s learned how to make the smiles look a little less forced to stop worrying his mother, to stop Linda’s scrutinising stares and avoid the awkward conversations, to stop Dave from pulling him aside in confidence to tell him he can talk to him—about anything—to stop his Dad from sneaking around, trying to rope Doc and Clara into his plans to help because I’m just worried about you, son.
He pads his fractured heart with ideals and memories that, to him, will only be stories, using them to shield the truth—a reality only he and Doc seem to remember—and all its aches and pains and scars from prying and smothering eyes alike. From the people who would just try and say he’s crazy, send him to a shrink and give him a couple of pills and say it’ll all get better.
“Don’t forget your parents are throwing us that huge graduation party in a couple weeks,” Jen says, smiling as she leans up against his shoulder.
She’s watching, he knows, ever observant, even if she doesn’t understand. She’s tried, and the fact that she has makes him fall even more in love with her—sometimes I don’t think I deserve her—especially on those days where he was ready to crawl out of his skin when it all threatened to crush him from the inside out.
Marty wraps one arm around her shoulder, still wearing a smile although it’s faded at the edges, and brushes his thumb against the faded wood of the swing, remembering that one night everything came rushing to the surface and Jen stayed there with him for hours, the most comforting presence he could have possibly asked for.
Their memories didn’t line up exactly, but she was still Jen, and he needed that desperately.
He only wishes he could have been the one to give Jen all those wonderful memories he keeps hearing about.
But isn’t that what the future’s for? Doc even said—
“Marty?”
“Yeah?” He blinks, looking over and nearly slamming his nose into the top of her head. “Sorry—how could I forget? It’s all Mom and Dad have been talking about since March. I think he was serious when he was talking about inviting all of Hill Valley.”
“He’s just proud of you, you know that.”
#mcflyjuly#mcfly july 2024#back to the future#bttf#this one's a mess because i still feel not great but again - it is what it is eyyyyy#do i think jen's porch swing is the setting for a lot of rough moments for marty in lp? absolutely#and not just lp either i think jen and marty also sat there a lot in tp just being together - chatting about their future and all that#i think that swing has seen A LOT in both timelines#good things and sad things and awful things#i think for a while - at least that first year or so - even the happiest moments for marty are interspersed with melancholy#given his situation - he's got a lot to navigate and figure out and thank god for jen honestly
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These cute adults, wth (Patreon)
And a Bonus Fionna
Because she’s still a kid lol
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Betty Grof#Winter King#Fionna Campbell#Like I said! She may be an adult but she's still a kid! Emotional maturity and all that#She's doing fine ♥ Fionna's a good lad#Anyway - mostly just an excuse to draw the Wintrigrof trio pulled closer to my style lol#I got curious and it turned out fun ♪ I Have to make them fluffy you must understand this#Simon's under-fluff is really one of my favourite little quirks I've given him lol it's just so fun to shade!#Plus I always enjoy his kind of design - the bowtie the lapels the tired eyes and fluff and glasses and nasolabial fold and button down#He has so many good elements :D#And his younger self is just cute as heck ♪#Little vest moment to denote his youth lol#Betty has so many glasses designs ahh I probably could've done several with just her! Decided to also stick with her younger look tho#She gets the dot eye style inside the anime frames inside the glasses frames since that's what her eyes normally look like hehe#Simon gets light eyes with pupils! Differences in eye styles! It's fun#And then Winter gets full on weird eyes - I had the idea of him wearing contacts and his glasses being strictly aesthetic at one point lol#Ice contacts :0 I made a quite mini of him offering some to Simon and he's like ''I think you can only have those 'cause the Crown''#And he's like Oh Yeah Haha nevermind :)#He is also quite fun to draw like that ♪ Pretty man (derogatory (affectionate))#And as said - little Fionna 'cause she's cute <3
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Coincidentally my usable warp is like exactly as long as my dining room. Point is tho, i am finally done thank fuck
#already snipped them#need to wash them still. guess ill just do a load of laundry later#now i just have like 12 hours of cleaning#not sure why i did all of this all at once right at the beginning#i had in fact planned to pretend these were cleaning breaks and interspersed them. and then forgot#oh well#definitely realizing i should have done more weft stripes. only did them in the last two bc i thought changing colors all the time#would be a pain#it wasnt tho and also it looks a lot better#the ones that are just warp stripes (most of them) look very plain and boring#which is a little gutting tbh#couldnt really tell when its just the amount visible on the loom at any given moment but laid out flat its like. hm. ok#idk maybe she'll use them more if theyre boring and ugly ?#altho she's not the kind of practical handmade gift reciever who is like 'oh its too pretty to use i will tuck it out of sight forever'#so i guess its a moot point#idk. its fine. she doesnt have a ton of towels or dish mats anyway#weaving#cats tw#(thats their food board and one of many water dishes)#wow actually i thought i got like 5 or 6#literally only 4#and the first one is a mess that i am keeping bc i didnt hemstitch it and im certainly not gonna hem it today#the last one was just supposed to be an ugly washcloth for me but i may give it to her bc otherwise its only 2 ?#or maybe i have 5 ? ive literally already forgotten and i cant tell from the picture
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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Another batch or Mr. Puzzles quick sketches. I kept forgetting to draw his side pocket in the last couple ones. Random character featured in the little comic-ish Live Interview is some version of doodlesona. Can’t guarantee the dialogue will be believable/sound in character for Puzzles because honestly I’m still working on understanding his talking style and when he sarcastically jokes around or when he chooses to be serious and drop performance act. But in the off chance you wanna read it goes from left to right with reading
#GUYS it’s so hard drawing a character who uses his hands to communicate 24/7 jksjsksp PLEASE#my brain doesn’t know what pose to put him at any given time because he keeps SWITCHING inbetween words#he’s so animated and that’s why I love him so much expression and emotion in display#but I don’t like drawing hands at any given time if I can avoid it so screw him jskjso#the last two pages I think I’ve started to get a hang of how his expressions operate#still need to see if I can pull off the full range in my own style tho#and yes I inserted my silly doodle sona in the interview segment hello wazzup lol#although it’s very much a caricature because in reality I have no issues being on film. Been doing that since I was a toddler it’s natural#was even in a production class in high school operating camera equipment like I honestly love it#speaking of that art��still trying my best to figure out how his dialogue is meant to sound?#like I’ve always struggled with writing character dialogue I’m unfamiliar with the style of#thing is I’m good at acting the part if you give me a script to follow and example of tone inflections#but writing it from scratch is a whole nother struggle#so I’m sorry if it doesn’t feel on point I’ll try to get better at analyzing his speech patterns#honestly think I made it too formal sounding here? Or jumbled in some parts because I was stumped on how he’d translate thoughts to words#still fun interaction tho!#like I think he’d try his best to drop a few moments of empathy and try to get someone with anxiety to feel comfortable#but he’s also got the ratings to worry about and can’t afford it being ruined by someone’s anxiety hiccup#so kinda treading the line of being compassionate and giving advice to calm them v.s impatience to get the show rolling#or something idk still trying to analyze him and how he reacts to given circumstances#can you tell I think way too deeply about all this trivial stuff?#doodles#sketches
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#why was i born to be a passenger yet forced to be a driver#like. my mom relentlessly nagged at me to start and then so did my dad#and am i grateful they did? sure.#by i still have yet to find the true joy of driving#i know my mom did it bc she didnt learn and had always regretted it#but like they kept on at me for like . the moment i got outta uni#and yet. they’ve already given up on my younger brother :|#whose excuse is…. he’s too scared and like buddy. you think i wasn’t scared?! i still am but i did it !!!#wish they’d keep on at him bc he expects lifts everywhere all the time from my dad#he’s the one who needed to learn more than i did :|#its crazy bc he’s certified to operate several vehicles in a warehouse#but that mf won’t go and get certified to drive a car 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#brother pls 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#personal#drives me insane like . parents pls match that consistent nagging for him too#actually the curse of being the older sister.
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#i haven't really participated in any discourse as of late but watching that movie kinda made me think about dwd and mp#like. we know the holivia mess was such a shit show and i know that they wanted to make it look like they met on set or whatever#but i think that that stunt was in the works way before the movie deal even happened#we know that harry was seen with the mp novel in 2019. which isn't out of the norm for him because he has previously owned art by queer#artists. so in that moment of time it passed by easily. however now that we know that harry literally read that novel letter to letter and#convinced the director/producer that he would be best for the role it means that he's wanted to be part of it since 2019 itself#knowing that i think his team was already on the lookout for a role for him where he could play the straightest man possible to cover up his#role in mp. dwd was also in the talks for quite some time before that given that the script#was out in 2019 and olivia acquired it in the same year too. while yes shia was originally cast for it and we all know how that ended#but i'm just thinking about how mp started in 2019 too and dwd started around the same time his team was definitely aware of it#and it aligned perfectly that shia fell out of the movie and harry got the role and olivia got the contract of her lifetime#like. i don't think that harry organically got the role and then the stunt happened. i think harry getting the movie was FOR the stunt to#happen so that it could overlap his role in mp#i fully think the contract was ''you get an actor and a public boyfriend and we get a beard and a public straight narrative''#so like tldr version : harry wanted mp badly enough that his team found the most straight role for him and saddled him with a beard to cover#up his role in mp. and it worked too because his scenes in dwd blew up and people still thirst over that#even though mp got way more success than dwd did#which is also why they were pushing so hard for it to be a theatre release first and then onto streaming unlike mp which went to streaming#straightaway. apart from the select few theatre releases they did#and also like. so many actors who have played queer roles in media get asked about their sexuality repeatedly. like kit connor#or nicholas galitzine to the point where it becomes an obsessive need for the public to know about it#and by doing this harry doesn't get asked about it explicitly (maybe he has them banned idk) and still gets to do whatever he wants however#he wants. okay byeeeee#my policeman#don't worry darling
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Thinking again about my plans for Vash and Knives in ITNL
Which I can't really get into the specifics for How I'm going to do things w/o going into spoiler territory. But I Do have Vash & Knives tagged on the fic for a reason. I set up in the first chapter that Vash is determined to try to save Knives too.
Which. That choice, as well as the entire basis for all of this, depends so much on that final fight in trimax. The one that was literally a scene away from where ITNL Vash went back in time. His mentality just a hair's width away from that...
At the end of trimax, there was reconciliation, however brief and incomplete it was. In ITNL, my question to myself was How could I induce that again? Under different circumstances, How Else could we get there? And that is the long-game in ITNL.
#speculation nation#itnl shit#i say reconciliation instead of redemption. because i think redemption is a difficult thing to capture well.#and it would require Knives to feel remorse or regret for his actions. which i dont think he would really.#but. potentially. if the stars align. maybe his goals can be redirected into something productive.#and maybe reconciliation can be achieved. just maybe.#the redirection here is important bc i dont think Knives would abandon his ideals Even If Vash got thru to him#but the key is convincing him that theres another way. that he can protect the plants w/o killing humanity.#easier said than done though. vash and knives are two peas in a pod after all. so incredibly stubborn.#but vash would want to try. because he Doesnt want to kill anyone. not even knives. though if it ended up necessary.....#well. better to try for reconciliation first. that one's as a last resort lol.#ultimately vash Does miss his brother. we see this at the end of trimax. that's the crux of that moment i think. for both of them.#realizing that once upon a time they only had each other. they were Brothers. they were Close. and they both Miss That.#those feelings were buried under miles of anger and resentment on both sides. but under the right circumstances.....#thats why it's important that ITNL was a hair's width away from that scene. bc he was on the verge of having that realization himself.#i replaced that moment with ITNL vash feeling thru the plant conglomerate the whole of knives' self. and his Realization.#the Knowledge that the brother he used to love is still in there somewhere. but he also wouldnt be able to survive this.#and thus his about-turn from 'nothing remained of the brother he loved. he had to stop him.' to 'i'm sorry. i'll save you too.'#hfalhxksd ultimately it's all so FINICKY and ive barely touched on it so far in ITNL. bc Knives has been off in the goop tube or whatever#but ive given it a Lot of thought. and id be so close to Getting There... to the next steps at least... if i kept writing.#hrrgmg. i am Thinking Thoughts...
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There's a part of me that definitely would like to do Kagurabachi fics but it's still too early to do so (at the time of this post, we're 19 chapters in) when events are focusing on the now (re: post-Sojo fallout, the Rakuzaichi auction and the Sazanami family plus Hakuri) and the worldbuilding is spoken of and hinted at but is still in the process of laying down its foundations.
#its worldbuilding reminds me of early naruto#as in: it feels quite lived in#but it's so far focused on a rather microscopic level b/c we're given fly-on-the-wall views of certain sects of japan#a'la the hishaku the kamunabi chihiro and shiba and even azami#even a peek into the window that was a specific moment of char's life at the end of the first arc#i actually think kagurabachi - so far - has done this better#whereas early naruto got hamstrung by editorial influence#as in: OG naruto was going to have more chapters dedicated to missions before the chuunin exams#chapters that i think would have served to expand the world- and character-building well#but that in itself is its own critique that i think has probably been made by others as naruto is an established work#whereas kagurabachi is still taking steps to paint the bigger picture#and you don't want to drop your worldbuilding all at once#you have to introduce it and address it gradually#and that is a process kagurabachi is succeeding at with all the hints of lore macro and micro being dropped#this is what i mean when i say you have to let your story breathe#is kagurabachi fast-paced? yes. but it also coasts long enough to allow enough room to breathe before it hits the gas when it needs to#armi reads manga
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#cops tw#bro I cannot handle one more thing happening istg#got pulled over on my way home after a 13 hour day#was already scared to drive at night and that just confirmed that I’m right to be scared#it was for running a red light n it was one of those situations of just not having time to stop on yellow#I was fully aware as it was happening that I was either going to slam on my brakes in the intersection or run a red and I could see the cop#so I knew I was getting pulled over either way I just hoped the yellow would be longer than .5 seconds. not so lucky#except I also Am so lucky bc he let me off with a warning#ig bc I don’t have any sort of serious history + with it being 420 once he saw I was sober he prob went easier#it’s the second time I’ve been pulled over in my life tho and it’s scary bc this is the first time since the accident#which maybe that was also ok bc it wasn’t my fault#I just know every warning or unlucky moment costs u more in the future if u happen to get unlucky again#like I know I got out of that bc I’m white. it was still a scary moment bc there were multiple cop cars#so it’s like is this guy abt to ruin my life am I gonna lose my license for being at the wrong place wrong time#when I’m already salty to be driving this late involuntarily#so it’s like I got unlucky And very very lucky#I just hate the confirmation that u can get pulled over at any given moment#I constantly rehearse every possible convo w cops in my head bc if u come off disabled u can die#or get arrested or whatever#and then they like don’t follow the script and u didn’t expect this to happen to u today anyway and I get flustered#anyway my point is. I’m fucking exhausted and too many things keep happening#it’s long day after long day w no end in sight rn and I’m like half asleep every day#I just want to sleep. without feeling like I’m already tired tomorrow#it’s too much. just all of it#and on top of it all. it’s 420 so the whole dorm building is basically a cloud of weed#happy u guys are having fun but u are physically harming me in my home#mine#txt#vent post#personal
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I miss posting my writing and I have like a thousand different drabbles but I'm scared they all feel very samey so I'm gonna democratize the choice out of the ones that are farther along so I can pick one to polish properly feel free to ask away if you wanna know more about anything and hi yes trick question they're all still Kurashiki angst
Also trick question again all but the last one are part of that not acknowledging canon au
#I'm so in love with writing about the most mundane shenanigans honestly you want domestic hurt/comfort? I got five of those in the oven#at any given moment#also addendum for the last one it's a lot of parental issues and sigma is kind of just there phi's the one I wanted to write#the second and third one are fun because I got artsy with the formatting to match all the Feelings ™#the first and fourth one are the messiest but they do have a larger cast even if it stays introspective because. well it me#okay? okay; this will run for a week this is still such a spur of the moment thing for me to be doing qwq....#writing#no main tags... hm I wonder
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