#i still feel like a learned things about how to read papers from my short time there and i also learned how to give myself sleep paralysis

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[beenbaanbuun]

cockwarming w/ san

words - wordcount? not round here, partner 🤠

genre - fluff, nsfw

warnings - stressed!reader, dom!san, sub!reader, subspace, guidance, soft!san (both him and his penis), cockwarming, clothed, san manspreading…

——————————————————————————

thinking about cockwarming sannie… am i absolutely feral? definitely! ANYWAYS!!!!

you’re sitting on the floor, glasses slipping down your nose as you stare at the documents in front of you

not many of then make sense, but that could just be the tediousness of reading them setting in and slowing down your weary brain

all the words are moulding into one and entire paragraphs are jumbling together as you desperately try and focus

you so desperately want to reach for your phone and give yourself a break

but you remind yourself that you’re just looking for distractions which is really not what you need when you’re struggling to focus anyway

so you start from the top, attempting to read the paper from the beginning

and you don’t get very far when you hear the front door open and your attention once again slips away from the paper

you turn slightly, just enough to see san step into the apartment and take his shoes and coat off

the way his shoulders sink in relaxation is visible and he lets out a long, deep sigh of relief at finally being home

your papers are almost forgotten as you watch him make his way towards the armchair in the corner of the room and take a seat

in fact, as he relaxes, spreading his thighs out until there’s a perfect you-sized gap between them, the papers are the last thing on your mind

“hi, pretty,” he croons as he shuffles to get himself comfy, “good day?”

you nod, mouth going dry at the way his hand naturally falls to rest just inches from his crotch, his pretty fingers flexing a few times before settling against his thigh

his beautiful, thick thigh that is almost fully exposed by those little gym shorts he insists on wearing

you stare at it for a moment or two, noticing the way it flexes slightly against the hem

his honey skin is still slightly shiny from the residual sweat of his evening workout

just the thought of him using his pretty thigh muscles to lift himself up from a squat is enough to send your brain into a dizzy haze

“looks like you’ve been working hard,” he smiles, head dipping to gesture to the pile of forgotten papers on the table, “is that research for your thesis?”

it is, you think to yourself, not that you’d actually learned anything from reading, sorry, trying to read any of it

“yeah,” you answer him, “but it’s all so boring than i can barely even look at it without wanting to die. i’ve been at it for hours and i can’t tell you a single thing i’ve read.”

there’s a pout on your face as you mumble out your complaints; you’re adorable when you’re all moody like this

“learning isn’t linear, baby,” he chuckles, “the fact that nothing’s sticking in that little brain of yours probably my just means you need a break.”

“i’d love a break,” you admit, “but i’d also love to get through this pile of research by the time we go to bed, so…”

“so… take a break and go back to it later,” san shrugs, “not like all that paper is suddenly going to grow legs and run away, right?”

you scoff at his sarcasm and the smug look on his face, but you know he’s right; you probably should take a break…

“but i know if i take a break i won’t want to do it anymore,” you say, although the excuse sounds weak even to you

“then do it tomorrow; it’s not like it needs to be done tonight, honey,” and he’s right, so you nod, and he smiles

but the feeling of stress doesn’t go away as you pile up the sheets of paper in the centre of the coffee table

and it doesn’t go away as you save your thesis draft and close the lid to your laptop

your shoulders are still very stiff, and your head is still feeling weary from just how hard you’d been trying to focus

even when you slip your glasses off, a physical weight lifting from your face, your brain doesn’t slow down

it just doesn’t let you settle like you and san so badly want you to

he watches you fidget with your surroundings, eyes flicking to the pile of papers every so often whilst your fingers drum against the table restlessly

he sighs; clearly you’re going to need some help with this

“baby,” he says softly; you look at him and all he can see is stress written across your features, “do you want me to help you relax?”

your eyes flick over to him, still manspreading in the chair and looking the the picture of masculinity itself

you know it wouldn’t take long for him to silence your brain; not when he already has your brain feeling a little on the foggy side

you nod, mumbling out a small ‘please’ that he can barely hear

“come here then, baby,” he pats the inside of his thigh with his palm, the sound ringing around the room, “come sit with me, yeah?”

it takes a second for you to register what he’s asking you to do, but when it finally does, you feel your breath hitch in your throat

he hasn’t closed his legs for you to sit on, and the hand that rests on his thigh doesn’t shift to make space for you

why would it when there’s already a you-shaped space between his thighs?

you watch as he reaches behind him to grab the cushion from the chair, pulling it out and placing it on the floor between his feet

you cant stop the soft whimper that leaves your throat

“come on, pretty thing,” he coos, “you know it’ll help you.”

and you do know that, you really do

it’s exactly the push you know you need to take your mind off of everything, and holy fuck do you want it

so you shuffle towards him on your knees, inching closer and closer to that spot that seemed to be just made for you

he smiles at you as he watches you settle in on the cushion, the plush material taking the pressure of the cold, hard floorboards off of your delicate knees

you shuffle around a little, trying to get comfy before looking up at him, wide eyes looking into his own

and he can’t help but brush a hand across your cheek, chucking as you lean into his gentle touch

“my precious girl, aren’t you?” he whispers, running a thumb over you cheekbone, “working so hard; you’re so good, aren’t you?”

he shifts his hand until two of his fingers press against your lips

you separate them to allow his digits inside of the warm, wet cavern; he can’t help but fill with pride when he sees just how good you’re being

the tips of his fingers slide to the back of your tongue, caressing it slightly until he feels your throat constrict around them

he pulls them back slightly, instead pushing them down on the centre of your tongue to make your drool puddle up around them

“just let yourself stop thinking, okay?” he says as he plays with your tongue, “you’re too stressed, baby, and it’s not good for you.”

he caresses your wet muscle with his fingertips; you let your eyes flutter closed at the sensation

“turn your brain off for me,” his voice is soft as he talks you down into an all-too-familiar headspace, “be good for your big boy, hm? let me take care of you.”

and with the combination of your position between his legs, the fingers in your mouth, and his pretty words, you find it so incredibly easy to just… slip away

any thought of your thesis is gone and replaced with san

the worries about finishing on time, and the concerns about the reading you don’t quite understand; san

everything is just… san

you let out a small sound as you push your head down onto his hand, taking more of his fingers into your mouth

the weight of them on your tongue was nice, you decide, but not quite enough

they don’t quite hold the warmth and heaviness that your tongue is craving

it’s not quite enough to completely ground you like you know you need

“you want more?” he always has been so good at reading you; you nod around his fingers, “want your big boy’s cock in your mouth?”

you moan at the thought, desperately moving your head up and down to tell him yes

“does my precious girl want to warm her big boy up? is that it?” yes, yes, a million times yes, “want to wrap your pretty lips around me while you relax, hm?”

he chuckles when you pull off of his fingers and sit there looking at him through your lashes with a slack jaw

so pretty, he thinks when you stick your tongue out and blink up at him through those fluttery lashes of yours

pretty enough that you have him wrapped around your pinky finger

he really would do anything to make you happy, and it seems that what would make you happy right now is him in your mouth

so he wastes no time in reaching for his waistband and pushing it down his thighs to reveal his soft cock

he takes it in hand and holds it out for you, waiting patiently as you lean forwards to press a kiss to his pretty pink tip

“no teasing, baby,” he taps the blunt head against your lips, “open for me. warm me up like a good girl.”

his voice is smooth and buttery, and it makes you want to listen

you open you maw, rolling your tongue over your bottom lip and waiting for him to feed himself into your mouth

there’s a hand at the back of your head as his tip makes contact with the pink muscle

the hand pets your hair softly as it guides you onto the cock, pushing you further and further down until your mouth is stuffed almost completely full

“breathe through your nose, baby,” san instructs you as he pushes the tip of his cock to the back of your tongue, “come on, pretty girl; i know you know how.”

you don’t need the reminder, having done this plenty of times before, but you still like the guidance he gives you in that low cadence

you like his voice, and the way he tells you what to do because he knows just how much you don’t want to think right now

you close your eyes as you feel your nose brush against the smooth, sticky skin of his lower stomach

his freshly shaved pubes prickle you, but that’s the least of your concerns when your senses are just overloaded by the comfort of your boyfriend

the smell of his cologne mixed with his natural musk settles in your nostrils filling you to the brim with the familiar scent of home

and the way he sits in your mouth, hot and heavy and full makes you melt against his muscular thigh like it’s your own personal pillow

his hand on your head threads its fingers through your roots, fingernails scraping against your scalp in the most comforting way imaginable

a deep sigh leaves your mouth; one of relaxation and contentment

san hears it and feels his body ease into the chair

“good girl,” he hums, “so good for me.”

[akutasoda]

hold my hand, lean on me

synopsis - jiaoqiu adjusting to domestic life with you

includes - jiaoqiu

warnings - gn!reader, spoilers for 2.5, angst w/ some comfort, fluff, maybe ooc, wc - 1.3k

a/n: i actually cannot get this darn foxian out my mind :( shouts to @thelightofmylife for some vv helpful pointers and information ^^ tbh i feel like this is just 1.3k words of word vomit HAHA

the healers finished informing you of the situation, thanking them you then closed the door to the shared abode. a sigh you didn't know you were holding back escaped alongside a glance down to the papers the healer's handed over. you could read them later, the news followed by the details of it wasn't exactly a pleasant thought, if anything it might be a final push for the tears to start falling.

your thoughts were distracted by the sound of hesitant, shuffling footsteps. turning around, you were met with the sight of jiaoqiu standing idly not too far from you - almost as if he was taking in the surroundings, although now it was more him trying to piece together the memories of what it looked like.

jiaoqiu had arrived back at the yaoqing not too long ago, admittedly rather late, but the luofu's alchemy commission had kept him for a while. he'd been forced immediately to the yaoqing’s alchemy commission as they were now the ones responsible for his treatment plan for the future. a short talk with them had then led to him being escorted back home. to you.

upon arrival, some of the alchemy commission healers explained to you about the entire situation. they kept it short but soon handed you a full document containing everything from “patient’s injuries” to “doctor’s post-charge advice” - each and every sentence pained you more and more, you refused to acknowledge what would've happened if moze hadn't found him, you would have to thank him later.

the healers had asked you to take upon the responsibility of looking after him at home, and in most day to day life scenarios - at least until he adjusted properly. they asked you to keep strict to the “post-charge advice” as otherwise it probably would cause more harm to him, making his healing process longer and maybe even worsening it beyond healing.

“jiao-ge” you called out, to let him know that you were still near. it pained to see the somber look on his face. the last thing jiaoqiu saw wasn't anyone, anywhere or anything he loved. no. it was something he hated, someone he loathed in unfamiliar territory surrounded by no-one he knew.

now he stood in familiar territory, with the person he loved the most. but he couldn't bask in the sights or even see you. all he had was memories to cast images in his mind, to help pretend that nothing was wrong and that he could see what he remembered.

you knew that he wouldn't want you doting on him. jiaoqiu needed to adjust, to learn how to go about his life as usual and you overly fussing over him would only probably annoy him and prolong that.

it had been a long day, any proper conversations could be held tomorrow. to no surprise, jiaoqiu insisted he could get ready and do everything by himself. you granted him that independence. eventually, admittedly with some help, you two were ready for sleep. and even though you were right there beside him, jiaoqiu never felt further from you.

---✩

the process was slow. nobody would've said that it was going to be anything other than that. jiaoqiu very clearly wanted independence. he didn't want to seen as a burden, he chose to do this, and knowing that people were constantly doting on him instead of continuing with their lives made him feel awful.

one of the first things you did was help make your shared abode more compatible with his needs. an easy step was making sure that everywhere was clean and free of obstruction, normally moze always

showed up and helped with cleaning as well. another step was helping jiaoqiu become able to navigate the home on his own, mainly he acted on memory but you needed to make sure that where he frequented was always obstruction free.

occasionally you could hear a bump or hurried shuffling from the room over, each and every time you dropped what you were doing and checked up on him. it was never anything major and if anything it always resulted in jiaoqiu silently cursing at the piece of furniture he walked into.

you two always adopted a verbal calling system at home. should you need to leave the room he was in, you would tell him exactly where you were going and what you were doing - that way he knew where you were. jiaoqiu would also inform you of where he planned on going just in case something happened or he got lost.

although, admittedly, for the first couple of weeks jiaoqiu stuck to you like glue. to him, it was a way to quickly adjust and therefore he wouldn't have to be a burden for long. however jiaoqiu subsequently had developed a rather interesting habit, one neither of you addressed - you because you thought it was sweet and didn't want to embarrass him, him because he didn't want to admit it.

and that was him using his tail as a guidance. at home, it was either curled around your waist, wrist or leg. in public, it lingered around your wrist, so much so that it constantly tickled you. it was a way of him making sure you were there with him, you hadn't left him and he was okay.

although most admittedly it was worse at night. he would hold you close, an ironclad grip that usually you would ask for him to let up but you knew he needed this. tail curled around your waist, preventing you from escaping. in his opinion, you helped him sleep easier, much easier than any fragrances he was prescribed.

however, this always came with a risk. due to residual lupitoxin still in his body, jiaoqiu became frequently prone to nightmares which plagued him constantly. everytime his mind was tricked into believing that the borisin were waiting, patiently looking for an opening to get revenge.

he wakes up because of them, drenched in fear and swear, and because he's so fearful the lupitoxin can take hold easier. suddenly he's tricked into believing that the borisin have found him. unbeknownst to the fact that it's you. so you sometimes take the liberty of sleeping away from him, but then he wakes up to an empty bead but he can hear someone in the room over and when he finds out it was you, sleeping away from him, he becomes consumed with guilt.

a major change for him was his inability to cook anymore. jiaoqiu was determined to do so with his impairment but he needed to learn. nowadays you cook with him. instead of being hushed out of the kitchen, you stood closely beside him, handing him the tools he needed, telling him where you put them so he could find them again on his own.

gently reminding him to lay off the spices when he requested more, he was to avoid spicy foods at all costs for the time being. a hard change, one that he absolutely despised but he knew better than to go against a doctor's order. helping him go out and buy ingredients, listening to what he told you and carrying out the tasks diligently.

---✩

and that was a shortlist of changes. you were very happy to accommodate anything for him, so long as he felt comfortable and loved. it wasn't uncommon for jiaoqiu to experience major lows, it was only natural and you needed to be there for him.

to listen to him, to show him that the support he needed was always a simple ask away - you didn't want to push to dote on him for many reasons. but that was different to showing genuine care and love to him when he started seeing himself as a useless, dependent person.

life would be different. for a while or maybe even forever, perhaps feixiao would strike lucky in her search for a healer that knew how to help. but for now, you two would have to learn how to adjust. to be there for eachother.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[lokiandbuckysdoll]

Cockwarming Loki

Summary: You ask Loki if you could cock warm him.

Paring: Loki X ChamberMaid! Reader

Word count: 1.5k+

Warnings: 18+!! smut, unprotected sex, sir kink, cock warming, slight mention and an indication of dom/sub dynamic, riding Lokis cock, spanking,tiny fluff at the end, overuse of the words cock and pet (sorry not sorry), love confession ish. ^ I think that's all but as always please let me know if I forgot to tag something!

A/N 1: This is inspired by @sarahscribbles Loki takeover with this question, and this is also my submission to her 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐂𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 I use fluff prompt: "It's you. It's always been you." and Smut prompt: "I told you that you would start begging eventually.".

I also dedicated this to @loopsisloops as well :)

A/N 2: This is my first time writing something like this so I hope you don't have high expectations because I feel like this could b better !! 💀

Loki's relationship with you was peculiar, not just friends, but more than just his maid. "Lovers" wasn't the right word to describe it either, but deep down you both knew there was something more going on between you two than just sex. 

When it came to sex, you were Loki's and he ensured you knew it; you were his pet and plaything. He has demonstrated and exposed you to a variety of things. You were his submissive and he was your dominant, and you both entrusted each other with the mental and physical parts of your body.  

Since Loki was the one who usually brought you new things to try and teach you, imagine his surprise when you approached him and asked if you may try to cockwarm him. He was nearly at a loss for words until he remembered you were his tiny pet, and where could you learn about such a thing? You weren't stupid when it came to sexual actions, but you'd never been one to make a recommendation.

" Do you want to cockwarm me, darling? I'm not against the idea, but where did you get that word, mhm?" He questioned, his voice amused, as he anticipated your response.

You cast a bashful glance up at him as you shift from your right to your left foot. "I read it in one of your books, and I was wondering if you wanted me to try to cockwarm you because it's something we haven't done." You stood there uneasily staring at him, waiting for him to respond. 

"I see, well pet, let's not wait to try it," Loki stated, quickly undressing both of you as he led you to his desk. He sat in his chair, patting his lap, and invited you to sit on him. You walked forward, hesitantly, and went to straddle him; once fully straddled, you grasped his throbbing cock in your hand, stroking him a few times before sinking directly on top of him.

 You let out a short sigh as he was now completely inside of you; it was so nice to feel him stretch you out even in this position. "Does it make you feel good?" His face held a smirk, and his tone of voice was sarcastic. You responded with a nod, but he didn't like it. "Words, pet," he exclaimed as he slapped your behind, forcing you to yelp. "Yes sir, "it feels good!." You responded quickly. 

" Good now, remain still because I need to get some papers signed," he said, summoning his work on his desk with his magic. You maintained comfortably for a while, loving the sensation of him filling you up, however as you always did, you grew needy.

To prevent yourself from squirming, you tried to expand your legs discreetly. You couldn't help but whimper when the slightest movement of your legs caused Loki's cock to move inside you. You tighten your hold on his shoulders gently, hoping loki wouldn't notice, however, he did notice because nothing gets past the god of mischief

" Oh my dear pet, how I adore the feeling of your warm little cunt stretching around my cock, and the little noises of pleasure that escape you," he kissed your shoulder before slowly sliding his hips up into you. That was a mistake because you became more dependent on his touch, and he could feel your fingernails sinking into his shoulders as the movement became too much for you. "Speak up if you want something," he said into your ear, and you could only murmur a little "faster." 

" Please move faster sir, I can't take it, I need you," you whine like a cat in heat as you start rocking your hips back and forth. Loki immediately abandons his task to place his large hands on your hips and stop your movements. "But you wanted this, didn't you?" You wanted to be my good little pet and cock warm me, didn't you? So that necessitates you not moving," he mocks your neediness, knowing that it would make you want more from him. "I did, but I need you." "I need my king to fuck me please," you whine again as you can't wiggle your hips to relieve your hurting thighs, and you rest your forehead on his shoulder. 

" I give you everything you desire, yet you still want more? I told you that you would start begging eventually. Now you'll beg me to stop fucking you right now, because dear, no sound is better than your begging," he tightens his grasp on your hips as he thrusts into you. He begins in a steady pattern, but when your mouth fully opens and pleasure sounds depart it, his rhythm quickens until he's virtually jackhammering into your eager hole. 

Before you can say anything, he stops moving for a split second before standing up with you, grabbing your thighs and wrapping them around his sinful waist. You don't realize he's shifted you to his bed until you feel the silk bedding on the back of your body. He waits a few seconds for you to adjust your position before proceeding. His dominant side takes over, and he starts fucking you. 

" The sounds I can coax from you will always make me weak; you are mine." "Do you understand?" Every word he says is met with a strong thrust, and you're starting to get lost in the raw side of the pleasure he's giving you. As you go into your subspace, you are unaware that he has asked you a question until you feel a stinging sensation on your cheek. 

" ANSWER, PET! "To whom do you belong?" He holds his hips steady for a split second to hear your response. " YOURS! "I'M ALL YOURS, SIR!" you exclaim. Loki moves in for a possessive yet bruising kiss, satisfied with your response. Your arms reach up and encircle his neck. You continue like that until he pulls back for oxygen and his throat vibrates as he recovers his breath. 

He has swapped positions in an instant, and you now lie on top of him while he rests below you. "Ride your king" he demands and without thinking, you started rocking your hips, and Loki's massive hands went to your breasts, palming them in his hands. This drives you to go over the edge as your tempo quickens, and you'd believe his cock would snap if you rode him hard enough. "I'm close... ug!" his hands return to your hips. "Norns! Exactly like that. "Like that," he muttered, madly insane. The contracted state of your muscles around his size has brought him closer to his release. 

" SIR! "Can I come?" you beg as you near your climax, Loki setting a terrible yet pleasurable rhythm. He only needed a few thrusts before he said. "Come on, y/n let go!" The pleasure of feeling him empty inside you and the sensation of your orgasm overwhelm your senses at the same time. Slump against him and move forward, gently regaining your breath. You both stayed like this until you both cooled down. However, you did not move, which made Loki nervous. Had he pushed you too far in your pursuit of pleasure? "Y/n?" he quietly asked as his hands rubbed up and down your back.  

"How are you feeling ?" he inquired pleasantly as you hummed in answer. He could tell you were still in your subspace. He was gentle with you. You finally spoke as you lifted your head to look at him. "I'm fine, just tired." "I believe a bath would be beneficial." He nodded, understanding, and gently slipped out of you, and you complained about the lost contact. "Let us get you cleaned up, my dear." He carefully took you off the bed bridal style before carrying you to the bathroom, where he gently placed you on the edge of the tub while filling it with Asgardian flowers and oils to assist relieve your muscles. 

He assisted you into the tub once it was ready, and he carefully cleaned your hair and body, taking special care of your painful and sensitive areas. It was times like this when you wondered if he loved you or if it was all a game for him to enjoy. "My darling, your thoughts are very loud." You were taken aback by how delicate and low his voice was. "If you must know, this is not a game for me to play. I'm falling in love with you, and if I'm being honest, it's you. It's always been you. Who has had my heart since my mother assigned you as my chambermaid. You're much more to me than that." You turn around, startled by his statement, and glance up at him. 

You study his face for anything that suggests he's joking, but there's nothing. You cupped his face with your hand, looking at his lips before looking at his eyes, before leaning in and kissing him. This kiss was different from the others you'd shared with him. This one was more meaningful. This one was filled with feelings of affection. When you pull back, his hand reaches for your cheek and he tenderly says, "I love you," and you grin at his admission. "I love you too," you respond, touching your foreheads whilst you savor this lovely moment.

TAGLIST🏷️

Add yourself to my tag list :)

@caothicshit @huntressandlioness1 @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @just-another-blog34411 @shadeysprings @hannibals-favourite-meal @silverfire475 @vbecker10 @sarahrogersevans @Tomandcakes @hallecarey1 @ladyofthestayingpower @mochie85 @coldnique @joyful-enchantress @nana1000night @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl

[spockandawe]

Here we go! I have some smaller books to share as well, but I've been absolutely VIBRATING with excitement to share a BIG one, and I'm going to indulge myself and post that today, then figure out words for the rest. Because I bound a new cnovel. Check it out, guys, I bound jwqs/clear and muddy loss of love :D

Let me indulge myself and backtrack a little! First, these are quarto books, so they're short. But I think these average a little under 500 pages each, and jwqs is a LONG book (my beloved), and this adds up to a total eleven inches of lesbians. More like twelve once they're in their cases. It's over a million characters in Chinese and I think the English translation comes in somewhere around 890k, it's HUGE

Making these books was SO FUN, I hadn't read jwqs and still haven't, and will probably read on my phone when I do. I don't have any exciting photos of the typesetting, but I knew this was an imperial succession story, and that made me nervous, those stories don't always click for me. Well, the process of typesetting and adding footnotes for this beast definitely confirmed that I'm going to have a good time with this thing when I have the time to read it, but there was also so much going on that only the vaguest of spoilers sank in. I went into an absolute FRENZY of typesetting, and after I printed, cut and folded it, well. That was one afternoon of sewing. You're looking at the reason I'm scrambling to make up a few hours of missed work, hahaha

After that, I needed cases. At the very beginning of march, I received a shipment of some FASCINATING bookcloth. It's called Duo, and it's made by layering a thin gauzy fabric of one color over paper of a different color. Depending on the combos, you get a really cool range of color-shifting effects. And they've gone out of production! But I was part of a group order to get some of the goods, and hadn't yet finished a new project. Reader, I went for it.

That purple and green is bananas!!!! It's so hard to photograph, this midnight picture of a few cases is one of my most successful attempts to capture the full range up close. Originally I'd been thinking of trying to evoke imperial gold, but I figured this was still the kind of drama and luxury suited the book, and also something something the hidden colors suited Qi Yan's character. I tied it back a little to the imperial gold with the endpapers, then titled them in silver foil, since the endpapers had silver in them.

But once the books were made, I felt like it wanted something... more. Something like a BOX!

And me, I chase novelty. A set this large would be tricky for anything clamshell, but a slipcase for all seven would leave books tipping all over if it was wide open, but putting walls between slots would be demanding in terms of precision and would risk similarly-sized books getting stuck in the wrong slots. Then I remembered learning about slipcases where you could put in a little insert to support the weight of the text block, and the concept SNAPPED into place.

Colors aren't going to photograph well at midnight, but I made the supports using the scraps and off-cuts from my endpapers, to tie it back into the bindings. The back of the case is lined in more of the duo, and the walls are lined with a faux leather bookcloth I like a lot, it feels buttery smooth and seemed like a good neutral material to tie the papers and bookcloth together. I listened to some of the DEEPEST layers from the nine-hour conspiracy theory iceberg video while I was working on this, haha, it was a TRIP.

And in the end, each of the supports is sized to comfortably sit in the smallest of the volumes, and evenly spaced, so I believe it will take the books in any order with no problems. It's easy to grab the books without having to cut notches into the walls to grab them from. And even though weight is less of an issue for quarto sizing, the books in here have their weight supported no matter what angle the box is at! I'm so, so pleased with how this concept worked out and definitely plan to do more with it in the future.

So there we are! Jing Wei Qing Shang! I had such a fabulous time with this project, and I'm so excited to get to share it with all of you. The story was fun to work with, the bindings and box were fun to make, and everything here came together just as well as I could possibly have hoped. I'm so proud of this, and incredibly, incredibly excited to show it to you!

[kunaigirl]

Long post ahead, but I really want to talk about this...I think? Oh lord here we go, lol. Anyways, confession time!

I struggled with illiteracy and learning to read for a chunk of my life. I've mentioned it (in passing) in this post that I made about my experiences with having epilepsy, but I decided to make an whole post just for this for a change.

Somewhere around when I was in the second grade, I lost my ability to read and write due to a bad seizure I had. (That combined with the medications I was given too.) A lot of my memories are blank from that era, except for a very few instances I remember clearly. What I do remember though, has nothing to do with the seizure or even what lead up to it, all of that's still gone to this day.

I had lost my ability to read, and also was diagnosed with dyslexia during the quest to re-learn from scratch. (On top of already being diagnosed with ADHD when I was about 6.) I remember very vividly how HORRIBLE everything felt. I couldn't remember the names of things, and I had to re-learn, from preschool up, both reading and writing from scratch.

Somewhat luckily, I didn't lose anything else besides those chunks of memories and my ability to read, and I still remembered who I was, what cartoons I liked, my favorite music, etc. But suddenly, I couldn't read the CD titles anymore. I couldn't read the VHS covers. It was gone, ripped away from me very suddenly, and I knew it was missing. I knew that I already learned how to read and write, but it was forced out of me by a malfunctioning brain. I was home schooled because of it from grades 3rd-5th. (2003-2005)

In the third grade, I had made just enough progress to get books for 5 year olds. Everyone around me acted so proud, but all I could do was cry. I was humiliated. I felt so incredibly stupid, as being illiterate leaves you with no choice but to feel stupid. I threw those baby books around my room and sat on the floor crying. It wasn't fair, I didn't do anything wrong, it was my damn seizures. I had no control.

When I went back to public school for 6th grade, I got called stupid, the r-slur, illiterate, slow, basically every name in the book. Both kids and adults, all throughout those years while I continued to re-learn in real time. In middle school, my reading level was still low for my age, and I had to be in a special program with extra assistance and teacher accommodations. As soon as word got out, the kids were RELENTLESS. It was 06-07, nobody cared about bullying/etc, especially for a public middle school. The bullying never stopped.

I kept working and studying, slowly making progress. Years of struggling, learning to cope, inventing my own short-cuts to help read a little easier, using rulers and paper edges to help guide my eyes, everything. I was still in "special" classes with accommodations all through high school too. My senior year of high school, I graduated on the honor role list. Did that make me happy? It felt nice for sure, but better? Not by much. I knew how hard I still struggled, and still felt very embarrassed by it all. I'll never forget.

As a kid, the pain I felt was so intense. Physically from the seizure, and in every other way with having to re-learn how to spell t-r-e-e. Starting over with pre-K toddler books at 7. Kindergarten level at age 8, and a first grade level as a 9 year old. The feeling of having my memories ripped away just enough to leave me unable to recognize the symbols that decorated everything from posters to TV to book covers. Being told by a room full of doctors and neurologists what had happened, and being quizzed and tested to see what I still had left.

I have never forgotten those long nights. Even though I was a child, the shame and guilt and fear I felt were VERY real and very tense. And the jokes/remarks from both kids AND adults, the notebooks filled with raw squiggly anger, the uphill climb to regain what was taken from me. I will NEVER forget it. Even in college, I struggled with those heavy textbooks and their tiny fonts. I did well enough, but no one else struggled the way I did with them. I did my work and wrote my essays, but it would take full entire days. It still does.

At times, as an adult, I still get stuck on words. I can obviously read and write again, as you can see with this exact post, but it's not over. I struggle with certain fonts, and some books are just to difficult. I still work at it and still try as hard as I can even to this very goddamn day. It never truly ended, all these years later, 20 years later, I still sometimes fight to understand. I feel like an angry and humiliated kid again in those moments, but I'm not that kid or teen anymore. I lived thought it somehow.

I had a dream back when I was 17, where I'm standing in from of my 9 year old self and that pile of baby books. She's crying and looking at me, desperately. I walk over and hug her, proudly telling her "We read The Great Gatsby in high school, and we understand it."

To anyone who has struggled with illiteracy at non-toddler-points in their lives, I see you. To anyone who's struggled with reading comprehension, I see you. To anyone who struggled with writing, I see you. We don't talk about it enough, and I want to change that. I don't want to hide that side of my life experience anymore. Fuck shame, we climbed out of it.

And to this day, a copy of "The Great Gatsby" is still on my shelf. Because I read it in high school, and 9 year old me would've thought that was the coolest achievement ever.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 5 . As I Know It

tags: reader has never experienced the warmth of love, abuse as the norm, hints of anxiety and trauma, short chapter

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read navi)

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Weird

If _____ is asked to describe Cale’s group that’s the word they would use.

From their strength to how they act, _____ finds all of them weird.

But it’s not just the individuals in this group that the healer finds weird. It’s the group itself.

Everyone acts so weirdly.

Maybe it’s because they aren’t family but the dynamics here are so different from what _____ is used to.

However, that’s not it either.

Even without it being said, the Medicus could tell that the way the group sees one another is like family. Blood-related or not, with official adoption papers or none; with or without those things _____ can see that the way everyone cares for each other transcends any friendship or servant-master relationship.

Proof and documentation were trivial to such a group because their bond transcends it all.

Whether _____ is part of that extraordinary bond is something they choose not to ponder about.

They feel as though they don’t need to know. Do they fear that the truth might hurt? A little. But it’s mostly because they don’t want to get attached. Because their kindness is already so addicting, what more if _____ allows themself to indulge further and act as though they have a place in the group’s family-esc dynamics.

So they try to settle by acting as an outsider.

Try to be content that they can even see such amazing things.

However, sometimes greed takes over.

Moments like when the kids are playing a prank on Choi Han or everyone doting on Cale. Moments like that make _____ want to join in.

And sometimes they do.

As soon as they do they regret it. The fear of getting attached only to be thrown away eats them alive. The fear of the possibility that one day the group will wake up and realize that _____ is only a liability makes them fear the group’s kindness.

They feel as though they are a naive month trying hard to not be drawn by the flame.

Nonetheless, despite all their walls, everyone is still kind.

But that’s what makes them all the more weird.

They see one another as a family but don’t act like one.

Well in _____’s opinion at least.

From what _____ has learned in their almost 18 years of living, a family doesn’t let anyone make mistakes. Family must discipline each other.

Well, they do…

But why are they so gentle?

Why is the worst punishment being deprived of their favourite things?

Why are there no physical punishments?

Do they care less than _____ thought?

Or perhaps are they not aware that you need physical punishment to get your point across?

_____’s family has always told them that without physical punishment, they would not learn. It’s the way a family, especially parents, shows love. The moment they stop punishing you for your mistakes, you know your family doesn’t love you anymore.

_____ can’t understand the weirdness of it all.

They care for each other but show unorthodox ways of showing it.

They discipline one another but in a way _____ does not understand.

They teach the kids to be frugal by giving them an allowance but still spoil them.

They want everyone to be independent and strong, well maybe except for Cale, but they don’t leave them in a desolate place for a week to teach them how to fend for themselves.

They want to know that they care for others but won’t blatantly list all of the good things they have done for the group.

_____ can’t understand all of it.

The way this group acts is the opposite of how the healer has been taught. The way they show care is different from what _____ has experienced. This group is something the Medicus has neither seen nor experienced.

Oh wait…

_____ has seen it before.

They’ve read it in fairy tale books.

Tales of different people coming together and building a family where the foundation is love, trust, compassion, and care. Tales of where your blood relation or abilities don’t matter in creating a family.

Tales of where someone will love you unconditionally because you’re you.

And that’s so weird

Because at the end of the day, that’s all those things are, fairy tales.

They are something that is not possible in real life.

Something that is written to help broaden a curious child’s imagination and vocabulary.

Something to put children to sleep.

Something that you forget as you grow older because reality hits you that family is crueller than those flowery words written in children’s books.

But despite everything. Despite the unorthodox ways Cale’s group acts and all the norms they break.

_____ can’t deny that they enjoy this weirdness.

Maybe in the end, _____ is the weird one.

[interstellarlyinlove]

Established Relationship (May 20th)

word count: 683

@wolfstarmicrofic

“What do you mean? What’s there not to like about summer?” Sirius asks, looking at Remus from above the book he’s reading. The book the both of them are reading, actually, except Remus is a quicker reader so now he has to wait until Sirius finishes to be able to talk to him about it. 

“The stickiness of it all,” Remus says, resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder and closing his eyes. They’re sitting under their favorite tree near the Black Lake and today is their last day in Hogwarts until next September. Sirius is spending the summer with Remus and his family. 

“When else am I going to spend my days eating ripe fruit and wearing too-short shorts? Summer is great.”

Remus smiles. “Sure. If you say so. You're burnt for three months straight, though.”

“I would’ve been too powerful if I had the ability to tan and not burn.”

Remus laughs. “Yeah, that does make me feel better about you being unfairly gorgeous. At least you can’t tan.”

“The universe gave me a boyfriend that tans beautifully though, so I’m not complaining.” Sirius looks at Remus. “You’re unfairly gorgeous.”

Remus’ favorite thing in all the universe is Sirius complimenting him. Still, he makes a face. “Gross.”

Sirius closes his book. Remus raises an eyebrow. “You are never going to finish that book, Godric. I swear you have until tomorrow before I spoil it for–”

“What do you want to do?” Sirius asks, kissing Remus’ cheek. 

Remus blinks. “Like, right now? I want to read to you, maybe make out a little bit, you know how it is.”

Sirius laughs Remus’ favorite laugh. “Sure. I mean, I’d love to. I just meant, like, later. Like, next summer.”

“Next summer?”

“There’s no more Hogwarts after next summer.”

“Ah,” Remus says. Next year is their last at Hogwarts. “That’s a little terrifying, isn’t it?”

“A little.”

“I think I’d like to teach,” Remus says, then he flushes. “I mean, if I could. A werewolf teacher sounds pretty horrible, doesn’t it?”

Sirius flicks Remus’ temple. “I hate it when you say things like that. You’d be an amazing teacher. Academia looks too good on you, moonstone.”

Remus might die. Having Sirius believe in him even more than he believes in himself is something that is so dear to his heart. He wants to tell Sirius this but he flicks Sirius’ temple instead. “You’re sweet. You’d be an amazing healer.”

Sirius looks at him funny. “How do you know what I want to do, and I don’t know that about you?”

“I’m a better boyfriend,” Remus says, grinning. “Also, everyone knows everything about you because you are a professional blabbermouth.”

“I am not.” 

“It’s cute.”

“I do not talk a lot,” Sirius says. “I will take a vow of silence right now.”

Remus laughs. “Don’t! Your blabbering is my favorite thing about you.”

“How romantic,” Sirius says. His voice is monotone but Remus knows he’s trying not to laugh.

“I’m excited about living with you. After school”

“You want to live with me?” Sirius asks, and he sounds sincere. 

“No, I don’t, actually,” Remus says, and he flicks Sirius’ temple again because how can he not? “Don’t be stupid. Who else would I live with?”

Sirius’ smile is the sun. “I love that you love me. It’s my favorite thing.”

Remus’ heartstrings tug. “Why do you say things like that? Godric.” He pauses. “You loving me is my favorite thing, too. Whatever.”

“We need to learn how to break into vaults.”

“Sure.”

“I need to steal some of my family’s money. Really. I wasn’t thinking about buying a flat before getting disowned. I should’ve toned it down a little bit. Did you know I officially got disowned on a stupid Tuesday night while making new paper from old scraps of paper? It’s a whole thing where you shred it and then dunk it in water and wet tiny scraps of paper have such a weird texture. Anyway, It came out of nowhere, really. The disowning, not the paper making.”

Remus laughs. “You are such a blabbermouth.”

[reallyhardydraws]

2023.

i hope any of you reading this will forgive the essay. i started posting to this art blog ten years ago in 2013 when i was just at the very end of high school, uploading short animations i'd made for one of my final projects, preparing myself for art school where i was gearing up to become an illustration/animation student.

i went into my art foundation course in 2014, still thinking i was going to be going into storybook illustration or with faint hopes of becoming like a concept artist for game/animation, although even then i'd started thinking about patterns...

and then in 2015 i did go into my BA, going in for that illustration with animation degree that... usually when i talk about it in real life, i say didn't really feel like the best place for me. if i think back, the best things i got out of it were two of my best friends, one of whom is now my partner. looking back on my BA era, there's some bits of sketchbook stuff...

and while i was at university my main fandoms were thunderbirds are go and x-men for a bit... these are from the end of 2015 into the beginning of 2016...

then for a little while i was doing this still sort of pastel-ish lineless situation:

and i alternated between that and this thin fineliner type work (pretty sure all of the linearted pieces were done on paper and scanned, and all the lineless were graphics-tablet-only) - it was in this style that i started to offer commissions for the first time too.

and i also had fineliner-lined work in sketchbooks that i coloured with marker and posca pens, the colours of which were generally a bit more intense just based on not being able to slide the hue/saturation around on paper:

also 2016 was when i discovered the spongebob musical just after it's trial run in chicago (which ended in july of 2016) and i started making fanart at that point... which would have the biggest effect on the way i drew (and i did end up handing in a piece of spongebob musical fanart as one of my art school homeworks lmao)

from summer 2016 until early 2017 things were still quite soft and pastelly in my digital art, colour-wise:

and then suddenly everything got whacked up to 100% on saturation. also i was using the binary tool to give everything really thin pixel lineart for some reason.

then i went on vacation in summer 2017 and didn't draw for maybe a month? just short of? and when i came back i decided to change everything up again... giving characters blobbier, more ugly-cute faces with large squinting eyes and big nostrils and i was worrying a lot less about making anything look smooth, lineart-wise. i turned off the pen stabiliser in SAI and let it wiggle.

then... the spongebob musical opened on broadway in late 2017, i went to see it live in person for the first time... and my whole brain was ENTIRELY consumed by my love of it. i was putting that david zinn inspired pattern explosion into everything, even if it wasn't sbm fanart.

as we go into 2018, i started colouring my lineart. my biggest interest was still broadway musicals (with spongebob at the top of the list)

i think summer 2017 - early 2018 is probably my favourite art era, i was at my most bright and colourful and exciting... although i know in my actual real life i was struggling a lot with my home situation and i had been for some time. art was definitely my escapism back then, and i think a lot of the time i drew really bright, joyful stuff to try and inject that feeling into myself.

as for my university work, i was putting my focus into 3D paper-mache puppets:

and i was also starting to do more repeat patterns, mostly inspired by things around me. i'd learned how to make patterns actually tile and repeat in 2017, so made a few during my time at uni just to accompany some of my projects, but never as the focus of them. one of my university tutors told me that maybe i should put more focus on doing surface pattern, and maybe applying it to textiles, but i said i wasn't interested.

i graduated from my BA in the summer of 2018, and immediately began volunteering at the whitworth art gallery doing anything i could - stewarding, helping with arts and crafts, dancing with families...

in 2019 i was still very colourful... i was trying out more chunky colouring on characters skintones that i think was def inspired by tumblr artist jadenvargen:

but the blobbyness and ugly-cute style of drawing faces was gone by here, and i think... the way i drew characters probably had better *anatomy*, proportions were maybe a bit more realistic...

in 2020 i started adding the black shading to under the chins and some other places on characters' bodies because i started watching the anime my hero academia with my brother, lmao (and i was starting to pastelise colours a bit again, these are the most pastel-ish examples) my lineart has really smoothed back out too, though i never turned my pen stabiliser back on in SAI. i think my hand just adjusted. probably seems a bit insane to miss that, but i do.

by the end of 2020, the almost-year of lockdown over cobid had... made me a bit insane, i think, and i moved out of my mother's house and into a flat with a friend from university.

in 2021 i think things were much the same... i think from this point on is where things have sort of settled. i don't want to say stagnated, but i do think things have been very... like this for a while.

2022 - got the most exciting examples out...

also i was very into these little frames in 2022.

and then on to 2023! in 2022, i did begin trying to shift gears a bit -- hoping to put more energy into sewing and making products (like my tutor has suggested back in uni, even though i'd really resisted the idea.) i sold at a few in-person markets during winter of 2022, but got disheartened by the amount of money i had to sink in up front to sign up for a spot...

which has made me VERY grateful for the people who have supported me via online sales. it has really helped me stay afloat in 2023 - AND it has felt more wonderful than i can describe that there have been people interested in my work... especially when a lot of it has been my original designs, rather than the fanart that i expect a lot of people initially followed me for.

i've also... in the past 2 years... branched out a bit more when it comes to 'being an artist' - and have had the opportunity to deliver arts & crafts workshops with local refugee & asylum seeker support charity, afrocats. it's taken me to their home base in a church to hotels across the city where asylum seekers were temporarily placed while waiting on their new homes, and of course to my beloved whitworth art gallery, where we welcomed visitors from all backgrounds: from the typical white middle class visitors the gallery usually expects, to all the refugee visitors coming into the space for the first time.

and through my volunteering at the whitworth, i showed up so often they decided they might as well pay me. so i've also become a facilitator of... creative play sessions, my favourites of which have been outdoors. monthly, year-round, we have 'outdoor art club', where i get to paint with mud and make potions from leaves with kids & families - here you can see me tell you a little bit about it in this video below with 'crempog' a puppet character that makes videos about activities for kids and families around manchester (my bit starts at 01:10 although i am in the intro and thumbnail haha)

and then of course the summer 'PLAYTIME' activities we've had the past two years: scrap studio in 2022, and play market in 2023. it's the best freelance gig ever -- just to hang out and encourage families to be creative and have fun.

in working more in these new avenues... outside of being - as i've called myself for a long time - "an internet artist"... i've found myself more interested in this sort of thing. in being a "real world artist" too. in doing surface pattern design, and being a workshop facilitator, i find myself wanting to put more energy into these sorts of projects.

in 2023 i've also dabbled a little bit more in youtube videos! i have had a channel for a while and have made videos in previous years, but 2023 has been the year i've done the most in. admittedly most of them haven't been about my art, and more just like... random things that interest me (the spongebob musical in particular) but i've really been enjoying video editing. that's kind of an art form too, so i'm including it here!

moving forward, want to keep putting even more of my energy into other things. my shop, with a bigger range of products to offer. workshops in real life, where i can make a difference.

as for my art blog... i feel like i've done the least drawing in many years in 2023, and... well, things have been weird and complicated for a bit in my real life. i hope to draw for fun a bit more again very soon, and to return to doing things in more of a wild and crazy way, to be more creative and exciting with the way i draw things. still, here's some of my favourites from 2023:

thank you so much to everyone who has borne witness to my art journey this past decade!!! i hope you will stick with me, who knows, maybe for another 10 years if tumblr holds out. especially a big thank you to everyone who has ever commissioned me, or bought anything from my store, you literally keep me able to make art at all and i cannot, cannot, cannot overstate how much it means to me.

i'm moving homes soon, possibly into very cramped temporary conditions for a little while before HOPEFULLY starting my real life with my partner. if i can take one more moment to plug my work, then [here is a link to my online shop] and [here is my ko-fi page too.]

cheers, cheers, cheers!

- LOREN 🌈🍍🎉

[oursecretways]

Is this what you call self-care?

Felix × Reader note(s): I am at the point where I feel like playing 72 hours of Stardew Valley is perfectly reasonable, so I hope u enjoy my first fanfic. Also, idk about you, but I feel like he would def enjoy some Zelda 😌… also, this isn't the longest fic out there, but it is a short story after all. Enjoy!☻ genre(s): fluff, silce of life word count: 1,795 warning(s): light cursing Just a chill day with Felix, while you’re trying to make progress with your uni work

masterlist

It was a regular Saturday for you, waking up at 6 AM and feeling your boyfriend's arm around you. After you turn your alarm off, you turn to look at him, smiling. His long, blond hair fell into his angelic face. It is so hard to not say fuck it and stay in bed with Felix, but you—with the smallest of movements to not wake him—get out of bed, making your way to the bathroom to get ready. After you get yourself into some comfy stay-at-home-and-study clothes, you brew yourself a cup of coffee with some coconut milk.

You've been researching for your midterm paper for a while now. It wasn't the worst topic, but selecting what's important and what isn't is where you were hopeless.

After restarting it for the hundredth time, you heard movements from your bedroom. You peeked out of the study/gaming room to see Felix's tired face, which filled your heart with warmth. "Good morning, love. How did you sleep?" He looked back at you while he grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. "I slept well until some gremlin left from next to me way too early this morning." A smile crept up his face, reaching out for your hand so he could pull you in for a hug. He kept you close with one hand, resting his face on your head while you hid in the crook of his neck. His sweet scent filling your nose. "How's your university work going?" you scrunch your face, not even wanting to think about the research and writing your essay. "Well, I read a lot, but I do not know where to begin or what things are the necessities to put into my paper." You felt yourself wanting to throw a tantrum like the 5-year-old who you are at heart. He kissed your forehead, then put his pinky out. "Okay, I have a trade offer; once you're halfway done, we can play on our farm together." Your eyes lit up. You've been pretty hooked on Stardew Valley for a while now, especially since the new update, and you got Felix to play with you on his days off. Sadly, they've been pretty busy with their comeback, so you couldn't hang out as much. He usually got home by the time you were asleep, and you went to class or to the library to learn before he woke up, since it was soon time for your final exams. You only have one year back from your university, and you don't want setbacks, so it is important to get a good grade. Your parents would be pleased as well since you flew to another city to learn specifically there, so you want to make them proud. You link your pinkies together to form an unbreakable promise. "Okay, but no distractions! If you want to play, please play in the living room; we both know I won't ever finish my assignment with you distracting me." He chuckles and nods his head in agreement. You happily made yourself another cup of coffee, then went back to the study to work on your task. You still cannot believe it that you somehow snagged such a perfect man: he is supportive, understands your concerns, and can always accept your compromises. He openly talks to you about how he feels and bravely tells you if something bothers or concerns him. You honestly can't believe these past couple years have been real.

You've made a bit of progress; it helped that you talked with your old dorm roommates—you moved in with Felix about half a year now; you two realized that it would be the easiest since you went over any given chance anyways. They gave some good suggestions. Once you caught up with each other, you four said your goodbyes, since all of you have a lot of work to get done by the end of this month. After some time, you smelled a sweet scent coming from the kitchen. The door opened before you could sneak out to have a peek. Felix brought in your favorite cookies; it was a mixture of his classic chocolate chip and your oatmeal cookies recipe. You two perfected it while he got some time off, and you didn't have school just yet. His brown eyes looked at you proudly behind the plate of cookies with milk in his other hand. "How's your progress, baby?" He bent down to give you a peck on the lips. You waited until he put the plate and the cup down, then patted the ground next to you, signaling for him to sit down. He didn't waste any seconds, and plopped right next to you, happy that he could sit beside his girlfriend. Felix didn't want to make you feel pressured; he just wants to spend as much time as possible with you before he has to go back to endless dance practice, content creation, etcetera. You both know he loves doing what he does, but it can get overwhelming sometimes. They got cussed out a lot for the smallest of things, getting bullied and going as far as getting death treats. He was grateful for being able to work his dream job, and he is also happy that you understand what this kind of life comes with.

Felix watched you type your thoughts out in your document and started to play with your hair, which made you relax instantly. You couldn't help but melt into his touch. You leaned onto his shoulder, feeling exhausted. "I am almost done with half of my assignment; I just need another page, but I feel like my brain cells are giving up on me." He chuckled, placing a kiss on your head. "You got this; I believe in you." He started giving kisses all around your face, which soothed your tired thoughts. Felix eventually kissed your lips; the kiss was sweet and made you feel like you're under the sun at the beginning of the spring. You reciprocated immediately, feeling as though time had stopped—no tasks, no school, no pressure—just you and him tangled together in a complete state of Nirvana. Before it could get heated, Lixie pulled away, holding you firmly, so he kept up his strenght to not distract you further. "Is it okay if I play Zelda while I lay in your lap?" You saw a hint of pink on his face, making you smile. "Well, I am close to finishing it, so why not? I don't think it can cause any harm." Felix got up excitedly to get his switch with his headphones. He laid down and got comfortable, then started playing his game. He has been quite into it lately. The game was beautiful, and there were a lot of things to do. The excitement in him got you into playing it, asking for his help in some harder situations.

When you got done with half of your paper, you looked down and saw a sleeping Felix with a gaming console on the ground next to him. He looked so peaceful like this: his pink lips parted, his eyelashes casting shadows on his face, and his freckles painting constellations onto his features. You can't help but start connecting the dots on his face with your fingers, making his eyes flutter as he awakens. "What are you doing, gorgeous?" You lean down to kiss him as a response. You feel like you're going to explode with all the feelings inside your chest. "I am done with half of my paper; I didn't want to wake you, sorry." You pout just a little, earning a smile as he reaches for your face to caress it. "That's my good girl. Are you ready for some farming time?" You nod, knowing that you're going to end up either playing until the sun gets up again or none at all and will end up cuddling in bed.

You two made some lunch and plopped down besides each other. Your desks have been set against one another, his PC taking up one desk while yours is cluttered by notes and books for your university courses; you just keep pushing it back each time you take your laptop out instead of organizing it. Felix tried to reason with you or help with that mess, but that's how you were, looking unorganized yet knowing exactly what is where, always on point. That's what your grades always reflect: perfect or almost perfect scores, even though you procrastinate until the last minute. He smiled to himself, knowing how he and the boys wished they had this superpower.

You put on your two's favorite chill playlist and booted up the game. We made a lot of progress, stopping to occasionally show physical affection for each other or taking a quick bathroom or snack break. I didn't even notice how the time flied until you looked down on your watch, seeing that it had passed five a.m. "Yongbok, we have a problem. Have you checked the time?" He has been so into the game that he almost looked up into the corner to see the in-game time, realizing that this might become a problem in the future. "Oh shit, I didn't notice when it got this late. I mean, I am going to be okay; I won't work for a couple of days now, but when do you need to send this assignment in?" he asked, knowing damn well that you have a habit of sending in your tasks with one minute left on the clock, giving him a scare. One time, Chan got to see your study progress and felt his soul leave his body. He still remembers how he and Han watched how their leader scolded you about your academics and your attitude towards your learning, painting a picture of an overworked father lecturing his rebellious daughter, who—no matter what she's doing—will always be his treasure. It never got said out loud, but you became the younger sister of the group, with all the older members looking out for your happiness and safety. And Felix isn't sure that if you two ever break up—which, let's face it, is highly unlikely—he wouldn't get the shorter stick and wouldn't get scolded.

Once you two saved and logged off for the day, got ready for bed, you snuggled close to each other leaving sweet kisses on one another, fighting the strong urge to sleep. When he heard your breathing change, he knew that you were fast asleep, what he waited for all along. It makes him happy and calm, knowing you are asleep. He pressed a light kiss on your forehead.

"Good night, my love," and with that, he dozed off to sleep as well.

[lost-in-lamentation]

💌💋 - love letter, first kiss.

satan × gen!reader. fluff.

warnings: very brief angry satan.

content: you've accidentally read satan's unfinished love letter to you.

back to the 500 follower event: here.

the sound of a bell rang distantly in your ears. you looked up from your notes with a frown, locking eyes with satan as he cast you a confused look. “MC, don’t you have devildom law in your last block?” 

“ah, the study block is done already?” you flipped your d.d.d. over, taking a look at the time. “this class is going to kill me. the more he talks, the less i feel like i know,” you sighed. hastily, you gathered your papers from the table, sliding them into your folder. “pass me my textbook?” 

satan leaned forward in his chair, gathering the textbook and the papers underneath it before placing them in your hands. “that teacher was always difficult,” the blond mused while he leaned back again. “if you need help with that class, just ask me. i’ll help you through it.”

your eyes lit up at the idea. “yes please.” satan didn’t expect you to say yes so easily; his eyes flickered with surprise and the tips of his ears turned pink at your eagerness. “you don’t have class this period, right? will you just stay here?” 

“most likely. this library is always more peaceful than the study at home.”

“then, can i come back here and meet you after my class?” satan replied with a nod and a dismissive wave, shooing you away before you ended up late for law class. 

you barely made it in time, sprinting up to the doorway just as the second bell echoed through the halls. exhaling in relief, you plopped down into your chair and settled your bag at your feet. however, your relief was short-lived. the teacher had begun handing out a surprise test, much to your dismay. but another part of you was glad you didn’t have to listen to another lecture today. by the time you finished your test, more than half of class time had passed. with nothing else to do other than watch the clock tick by, you pulled your notes out of your bag, deciding to double check that your answers for the test would suffice. 

when you opened your textbook, an unfamiliar piece of paper fluttered down to the floor. you blinked at it, confused. quietly, you shifted your chair backwards just enough to reach under the desk, swiping it off the ground before straightening back up. with a curious gaze, you unfolded it, the mysterious content revealing itself to you.

My dearest MC. My dearest, MC. 

I’ve spent a long time thinking about how I might tell you these things. I considered over a phone call first, thinking that my voice would get my intentions across. But then it occurred to me that if I wanted you to hear my voice, then I should tell you in person. And I realised further that I might not be brave enough to tell you these things face to face just yet. So, I thought maybe just texting you would be the way to go. It was my main plan for some time, until I saw a character in Levi’s anime reject a confession through text because it wasn’t “genuine”. I ended up stumped. At least, until I came across the idea of a love letter in a novel of mine. And so, I’m writing this love letter to you in the hopes that you’ll accept it; accept me. Ever since you’ve come to the Devildom, you’ve taught me more than any teacher, any novel or any tome ever could. Not only have you taught me practical skills, but you’ve also taught me so much emotionally, and that means more to me than anything. For anyone to brave me, the embodiment of wrath, it felt impossible. But you came in, albeit not as quietly as I would have expected a normal human to come in, and tore down the walls I hid myself in. MC, were it not for you, my relationship with my brothers would have taken much longer to improve. I am still learning how to deal with them, and how to deal with my anger, but you taught me that I am more than my anger, and that I am more than the creature that split from Lucifer. First and foremost, I need to say thank you. For being the human that you are. Though you can be chaotic, reckless, and a bit overwhelming at times, I cannot imagine a life without you in it. You’ve weaved yourself a place with me; with everyone. And now that I’ve had you for so long, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go. MC, there are a lot more things I’d like to say. But considering what kind of a letter this is, I have to at least say it once. I

the unsigned letter cut off abruptly. at some point, tears had pooled at the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over onto the paper, where a name should have been left. it was no mystery as to who wrote the letter; he had most likely slid it into your textbook by accident while he was trying to help you collect your papers. suddenly, the bell rang loudly, signalling the end of class. you wiped your tears away with the back of your hand, throwing all your belongings into your bag and keeping only the letter in hand as you dashed down the hallways. halfway to the library, you saw satan peering into an empty classroom, expression rather frantic for someone who didn’t have any classes left for the day.

“satan!” you called out to him, sliding to a stop just in front of him. 

“MC?” the demon shifted to face you. panic was etched into his gaze, and he had to take a quick breath to calm himself before speaking again. “i’m just looking for something right now, i can meet you in the library after i’ve-”

“is it this?” the letter swayed as you held it out to him, the words clearly visible in it’s unfolded state. 

satan acted fast, tearing it from your grasp as his expression changed into something that looked like fear. “where did you get this?” his voice was low, question sounding more like a demand. 

“it was in my textbook,” you said as you struggled to catch your breath. “i think you might have put it in there by accident when you were helping me pack up earlier-”

the avatar of wrath turned away from you. “go home,” he snapped, crumpling the letter into a ball. 

you took a careful step towards him. “what?”

“i said, go home.” satan trembled ever so slightly, his knuckles white as he dug his nails into his palms. “forget what you read, and don’t ever bring it up to me.”

“wait a minute, let’s talk about this.” you pleaded gently, but satan was stubborn. 

without warning, his horns manifested from his head, and his tail became known as it whipped against the floor with a loud crack. “i’ve already embarrassed myself enough by letting you read something that was never supposed to be read by you. i don’t need you to reject me along with it.” he glared at you from over his shoulder, eyes glinting with anger, fear, and for a split second, sorrow. “get out of my sight.” 

“would you just-!” satan began stalking away, but you refused to let this, or him, go. you lunged forward, your hand catching his wrist just before he got too far. satan attempted to pull his arm free, jerking it towards himself, but you held strong. you stumbled towards him, causing you to use his body as a pillow instead of smashing directly into the wall. “just listen to me!” you shouted now, glad that hallways were vacated of students at this time of day. 

“why should i?!” his voice continued to grow louder as he took a step backwards.

“because i’m not going to reject you!” finally, satan held his tongue. his eyes flashed with doubt, but for a fraction of a second, there was hope as well. “satan,” you breathed his name softly, loosening your grip on his wrist. slowly, you slid your hand down, wrapping your fingers around his. “i really, really liked what you wrote.” you watched as his stare fell to your joined hands. “i wanted to ask about the letter because it wasn’t finished. i…” heat rushed to your cheeks now that you were realising what kind of conversation this was becoming. at some point, your heart had jumped up into your throat, beating so loud that you wondered if satan could hear it. “i want to know how the letter ends.”

the storm that raged in his gaze steadily calmed, clearing into the sea of emerald that you knew so well. “you do?” for once, satan spoke meekly. wrath was gone, replaced instead with a demon who had yet to find his place in this world. 

“i do.” little by little, your free hand inched up to his face, hovering just below his chin. when satan made no move to push you away, you took the leap, cupping his jaw and brushing your thumb over his cheek. “how does the letter end?” 

satan made a choked sound. the way you treated him so gently was something he could never have imagined for himself. for someone like him, love was just a construct; it was an idea, meant to never fully appear in his lifetime. but here you were anyway, waiting to hear those three words that satan thought he would never get to say. “it ends with…” satan stopped to see your reaction, trying to make sure you weren’t doing this just to get him to calm down. but you remained steadfast, waiting until he was ready. “i love you.” the words tumbled out, the simple phrase stirring a barrage of emotions inside his already troubled soul. 

“you know, if i wrote a letter to you, i’d end my letter with the same thing.” 

“you would?”

“i would.” 

satan stepped closer to you, his face close enough to yours that his breath fanned across your cheeks. he released a shaky breath, fingers tightening around you as he tried to process everything he was feeling. 

“satan?” he didn’t say anything in return. instead, he cast you an expectant look; one made up of both fear and wonder. “i love you too.”

the tears fell silently, cascading down his cheeks and onto your hands. tenderly, you pulled his face even closer, smiling at him as you placed a kiss just below his eye. satan shuddered at the action, but he refused to move away. you did the same on the other side of his face, catching his teardrops before they fell to the floor. and when they stopped appearing, you leaned towards him again, lips slotting over his. 

satan all but melted into you, affection as strong as his wrath beginning to sweep through him. your lips against his felt both like a tidal wave and an undisturbed lake. your love felt unconditional, unending. and although the situation was a bit chaotic, reckless, and just a bit overwhelming, satan wouldn’t trade it for anything else. 

a/n: pls someone get the reference in the love letter pls pls

reblogs are really appreciated (´ω｀) ♡

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[angstywaifu]

The Lost Sister - Part 19

Synopsis: Xaden is known as an only child due to his sister who 'died' during the Rebellion. Little do they know she didn't die and has been so close this entire time.

Garrick Tavis x OC A/N: Hope you are ready to see our girl get angry at our boys. Garrick really needs to think before doing things sometimes. Being observant sometimes always doesn't pay off.

The Lost Sister Masterlist | Masterlist

That night I don’t see Xaden, Bodhi or Garrick. I had looked everywhere and come up short. I had even asked Mealladh if their dragons were there. When she came back with she couldn’t find their dragons I knew they were off doing something. But what? The last few days had been a blur. Violet and I had nearly been assassinated. Amber was now dead because of it. I had manifested my signet. And Jeremiah…. Jeremiah had gotten his and died. Jeremiah who had read some of Garrick’s mind. Who I had sworn was about to say Aretia before Xaden cut him off with his shadows. Why had Garrick been thinking about home? Yes my thoughts occasionally went back to there. But his thoughts had been panicked. Worried he would find out about something to do with Aretia. I was sure of it. That night my dreams took me home. To Aretia.

I wake to the sun shining through my window. I groan as I shield my eyes. I had left the curtain open like an idiot. Today was a very rare weekend day first years had off. And my dumbass had left my curtains open on the one day I could sleep in. Though it was still a small win, I had gotten to sleep in longer than I normally would. As my eyes adjust I notice the small package on my bedside table and a note attached to it. Someone had been in my room while I slept. Someone had gotten past my so called bodyguard. I sit up and carefully grab the note has my heart rate picks up. But as I see the handwriting it settles. It was Garrick’s.

’Sorry I wasn’t around last night. Hope this makes it up to you. - Garrick.’

I can’t help but smile at the note. We hadn’t gotten as much time together since we’d had our talk and celebration. Both of us busy. But I knew today I would have to find him and get what time I could. I had to talk to him and Xaden about my signet and the Jeremiah thing. I had to get answers. I was still yet to tell any professors about my signet. And I couldn’t delay it for much longer. I needed to start taking Professor Carr’s class. I needed to understand my signet and learn how to control it. Though so far I seemed to have pretty good control over it.

You have amazing control over it. You should be proud. Mealladh says to me.

I just feel like it has come so easy. Too easy. I reply.

I told you I picked you for a reason. You are perfect for this signet. This is only the beginning. But you do have incredible control over it already. I am proud of you. I can feel through the bond every word she speaks is true.

She throws her shield up leaving me alone again. She must be out hunting or something. I had felt her slight hunger through the bond as we spoke. I turn back to the package from Garrick and pull it into my lap. I pull on the string he used to wrap the brown paper around it. Inside is a box. When I open the lid a huge smile breaks over my face. Inside is one of my favourite treats from back home. It wasn’t something we could easily get back home either. It was something the Gryphon Riders would trade with us only a few times a year. My eyes go wide. Wait. Only those from Poromiel knew how to make this. They’d never taught us. Only Gryphon riders brought this to us. Garrick wouldn’t know how to make this. It’s as if my mind pieces it all together. The multiple nights they have been missing. Jeremiah reading Garrick’s mind and almost saying what I swear was Aretia. And now the food that sat in the box in my lap/ I throw my sheets off me as I quickly remove my sleep attire and pull on my uniform. I grab the box before running from my room. I push past Liam who tries to stop me till he see’s the box in my hands. I swear he goes slightly pale at the sight. But I don’t have time to ask him anything. I rush to the dining hall. Garrick or Xaden nowhere to be seen. I go to the gym next. Not there. I go to head to the flight field when I see Bodhi walk out from the dinning hall. I rush over to him. He smiles as I rush over.

”Where are they?” I demand, cutting him off as he goes to say hello.

His eyebrow furrows and then he looks down to my hands and see’s the box. I watch as his skin turns pale like he’s seen a ghost. He looks back up at me as he swallows nervously. He knows I’ve put it together.

”Ophelia I-”

”Take me to them. Now.” I cut him off angrily.

Bodhi merely nods before leading me into the academic building. Towards the tower Xaden and I had found to get away from the quadrant. I can sense how nervous and scared Bodhi is. His weakness right now is the truth they’ve been hiding from me. The truth that is about to come out. And he is scared. Our steps echo off the tower walls as we ascend the stairs. My heart thuds with each step I take. What the hell was I going to say? What the hell did I want to say? They’d lied to me. Hidden something important from me. As we ascend the last few steps I push past Bodhi and throw the door open. Garrick and Xaden turn to me, shocked at my sudden appearance as Bodhi slowly joins us.

“Is everything-”

I throw the box at Garrick, cutting his sentence short. Xaden goes pale as his eyes narrow and glare at Garrick.

”Want to explain how you got that?” I hiss at the men in front of me. “And don’t you dare say you made it. Because I know you didn’t.”

They all stare at me with guilt all over their faces. Except Xaden who looks like he might actually want to kill Garrick right now.

”You’re right. I didn’t make it. You know where I got it.” Garrick says in the most monotone voice I’ve ever heard from him as he looks me in the eyes.

I narrow my eyes at him. “I want to hear you say it.” I demand.

He gulps nervously and nods slowly. “Gryphon Riders.”

I turn to Xaden. “That’s why you panicked when Jeremiah locked onto Garrick’s mind. He was going to say Aretia before you cut him off. Wasn’t he?”

He begrudgingly tears his gaze from Garrick. “Yes. We had been talking about it before he burst into the courtyard.”

”And why were you talking about Aretia? Our home? Cause last time I checked it was gone.”

I was smart enough to piece together the puzzle in front of me. But I wanted to hear it from them. I needed to hear it from them. There was a reason Xaden had seemed so similar to our father recently. But I needed to hear it from the three people I held closest to me. The only family I had left.

Garrick and Xaden look at each other and they both nod, Garrick sighing in defeat as he prepares to tell me. He steps forward and holds the box out to me. I stare at it for a moment before I take it back angrily.

”Because we’ve been smuggling weapons to them. To help them. To protect them. To build an alliance with them. We’ve been doing it as soon as we were able to get away from the quadrant without raising suspicion.” He tells me quietly, as if he’s scared I will run off.

I can feel Garrick’s presence and I reach out. I can practically hear his rapid heartbeat beat through whatever connection I can make with this signet. He’s scared as hell. Everything him and Xaden have worked towards is out in the open. I also feel the worry of him losing me over this. He’s nervous at how angry I am. Damn right he should be.

”You’re building an alliance for another rebellion aren’t you?” I ask after silence falls over us.

Xaden stares at me intently as if trying to read my thoughts. His brow furrows in confusion before he nods. “Yes.”

I shake my head before walking back and forth in front of them. They hadn’t lied to me per say, but had kept something big from me. Something they all knew I would want to be in on. Aretia was my home. And we had all believed in my father’s course of action. Because it was the right thing to do.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why did you keep me in the dark?” I finally ask as I lean up against the railing over looking the quadrant.

“I just wanted to protect-“

I whip around to face Xaden who had stepped forward to talk to me. “To protect me? Gods, I don’t know how many times since I have been here that I have proven I don’t need protecting anymore! I am not that little girl you said goodbye to that day in Aretia!” I yell at him as Bodhi and Garrick look at us in shock, Garrick stepping back to stand near Bodhi.

“You’re my sister. A sister I thought died all those years ago. I will not lose you again!” Xaden fumes as he storms over to me.

“But you didn’t. I spent five years with him. Spent five years fighting for my life every single day. One wrong move and he would have ended me and we both know that. Five years I played the part he wanted me to play. The small naïve Riorson daughter who didn’t know better at the time. I fought every single day to make sure I could come back to you all. So don’t you dare say to me I need fucking protecting Xaden. Because I have proven I can look after myself. I have proven I don’t need any of you to do it for me. Because I did it for myself for five years.”

Garrick and Bodhi stand behind Xaden frozen in place as we stand toe to toe. Xaden and I had never raised a voice at each other. Yes we would butt heads and say some colourful words at each other. But this was a first. Bodhi and Garrick looked torn at pulling us apart or coming to defend the girl they use to know. I was not letting them push me around and coddle me like the young girl I was. I had proven I could defend myself.

“I don’t need your bodyguard. I don’t need you to have the other marked ones keep eyes on me like I’m some fragile little girl. She died the day she left Aretia.”

“Yes she did die. She literally did for all of us five years ago. We all thought you were dead. I cannot go through that again. I won’t go through that again.” He almost pleads to me as he goes to put his hands on my shoulders. “Just let us watch-“

“No!” I yell as power surges through me.

All of a sudden we are not standing in the tower anymore over looking the quadrant and the valley surrounding. We’re standing in the courtyard of Aretia. Except it’s were not. Its not real. There’s a sheen to it as if it’s a figment of our imagination. All four of us staring at our surroundings in awe. Xaden is the first to snap out of it as he turns back to me, his eyes wide with shock. I had somehow managed to feed on our collective weakness right now. Our home. Our home was our weakness and we would all fight for it. Like we were right now. I had somehow projected it for us all to see.

“How…. How did you do that?” Xaden asks as I look back at him.

“I-I don’t know. It just kind of happened.” I say as I look around in shock.

The image of Aretia slowly fades away, putting us back in the tower. Back in the quadrant. As it does so I can feel the presence in my head that I had tugged at. Xaden. I had pulled at his presence. But I hadn’t fully felt it when I did. As if my mind had reached out with out me willing it during my out burst at Xaden.

“You need to keep that part to yourself. If the professors find out you can do that…. They might see you as innistic.” He says sternly.

I slowly nod my head. He was right. Even though we were yet to tell the Professors I had manifested my signet, revealing I could cast projections like that would definitely have them questioning me. As Xaden had always said, I had an uncanny ability to see peoples strengths and weaknesses. And now it seemed I could project on that. Make them see it. Something the higher ups would want to either cut out or use for themselves. And I’m sure Melgren would find a way to keep me for himself if he found out. Seems I could do a lot more than just will things to move with my mind.

Behind him Bodhi and Garrick are staring at me shocked. They had seen me throw someone against a wall and float things towards me. But being able to get in someone’s head and project something like that was something neither of them had expected.

“Now can you please let me in on this. Let me fight for our home again. Let me help.” I plead to Xaden. “You know my signet can help. I can help. I want to fight for my home.”

He sighs before shaking his head. Torn at if to let me help, or keep trying to protect me. “You need to get it under control first. But you are right as much as it pains me to say.”

“Xaden.” Garrick goes to start before Xaden raises a hand silencing him.

Garrick’s lips tighten into a thin line as he holds back the words he wants to say.

“I can’t let you on the supply runs. It’s too risky with a first year. Too hard to explain. Especially if Melgren is keeping an eye on you. But I can tell you what is going on. Next year I can give you more. I’ll need someone to help Bodhi here when Garrick and I have graduated.”

I can tell the words are hard for him to say. But he knows I can help. Even if it’s just being in on what’s happening, it’s better than being left in the dark. Eventually my signet could be a big help. Meaning I would need to focus as much time as I could into mastering it and strengthening it. I let out the breath I didn’t realise I was holding as my anger starts to dull.

“And no more bodyguard.” I add as I look between Garrick and Xaden. “I’ve proven I am just as good as Liam.”

Xaden goes to object as Garrick steps forward and places a hand on his shoulder. “She’s right Xaden. She doesn’t need one. She has proven she can defend herself as much as I hate to say iot. She’s not the girl we use to know. And if you ever get worried she can stay in my room. I’ll look after her.”

Xaden looks between the two of us. Clearly he’s not overly impressed about the idea of Garrick and I sharing a room even though he is happy we finally sorted our shit out. But eventually he slowly nods. Garrick would pretty much always be with me minus some classes, where I would be with Liam anyway. Meaning outside of classes Liam would only have to keep his focus on Violet.

“Fine. But I swear to gods you two better put up silencing wards. I do not want to hear anything.”

Part 20 Tag List

@riorgail @going-through-shit @fw-gt @bbkissme99 @xceafh @leptitlu @came-to-laugh-but-cried @onthewaytotimbuktu @daardyrnitta @lovemesomevesey

[righteous-r0de0]

A Meeting of Misguided Minds | Audio Rp | M4A

to old endings, and new beginnings (script and link to ao3 under the cut)

Read it here on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57404290

[squeaky door opens, bell jingles, door closes] [quiet instrumental music, voices, silverware clatter]

Employee: Welcome to Elysium! Oh! You’re the one who called us about the interview. I’ll go grab him for you. Do you want something to drink in the meantime? No? Okay. Two seconds!

Perseus: [footsteps] Hello! Welcome, welcome! Look at you, all prepared! I can take those for you, super star. I’m Perseus or Percy, rather. And you are? [pages flipping] Oh right, right here at the top, perfect! [laughter] Sorry, I’m a bit jumpy. I don’t do interviews like this very often, if you can’t tell and I’ve had more than enough caffeine this morning. Here, you can follow me back to the office. Thank you, Emilio! [footsteps] [door open, close, chair scraping] Make yourself comfortable. 

I gotta say, when Emilio out front said you’d called about an interview, I was a little surprised! I mean, I know we’re a registered business and all, but most of the staff either doesn’t care or doesn’t know about all that. And to be honest, I like to keep it that way, but I’m never one to turn down an opportunity to be helpful. Especially if who I’m helping is going to be a helping hand in return. [chuckle] I don’t gotta tell you how rough things are out there right now. And with my main host gone indefinitely for bereavement, we’re a little overworked and understaffed. [clears throat] Um, at any rate. [pens rattling in cup] With how Emilio described you, this interview is mainly just a formality, but you don’t mind if I take notes, right? Perfect! Let me just get sorted. [papers rustling]

Why don’t you go ahead and tell me a little about yourself. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve done this kind of work [chuckle] but everyone had to start somewhere. And Emilio said you had some experience in food service. For now we can keep it as personal as you like. I’ll go through your resume during the hiring process. 

[humming in agreement, recognition, pen scratching, heavy sigh] I’m so sorry to hear that. With everything that’s been going on, I can’t imagine how rough it must be, dealing with that on top of the loss of your spouse. I don’t need anything special to tell that you’ve been through the wringer lately. I can practically feel how stressful it is [sad chuckle]. And being in a completely new town, let alone state? Everything must feel so fresh and terrifying. I certainly hope the transition was easy. [soft skin-to-skin contact, patting hand] If there’s anything I can do to make this process easier, let me know. 

I remember when I first moved to California, everything was so different from how it was in the midwest. Uhuh, yeah! I spent my, uh, formative years [chuckle] bouncing around the midwest. Michigan was always my favorite. Tried university, but there weren’t any that taught what I was looking for. Everyone thought I should be learning what everyone else like me was learning, but all I really wanted to learn to do was cook. I saw how it made people happy and that’s what I wanted to do. I mean, obviously, right? [laughs] I spent some time in Chicago and I’m still not sure why those people don’t put ketchup on their hot dogs. Ketchup’s great. [clears throat] Sorry, listen to me rambling. Long story short, I understand what it’s like, moving cross-country and all. 

Honestly, if you decide that this isn’t something you want to do at all, I completely understand. There’ll always be more applicants and I’m sure there’s someone else up for the job. I’m sure you didn’t have much of a choice in the matter. We’ll, of course, keep your resume on file if you decide to revisit this offer.

Ah, no, I get it! I’m the same way. Some people need to rest through their grief and others need to wrestle through it. No point in sitting around in a new home where all of your recent changes are so clearly apparent if it’s just gonna make you feel worse. If you need to work through your heartache, it might as well be through, well, working [chuckle]. 

Speaking of working, should you decide to take the job, we’ll start you out at the host stand. It’s really very easy and relaxed. We don’t take reservations and truth be told, we’re never overly busy so the most you would be doing is showing people to their seats, taking drink orders, and keeping an eye on wait times. That being said, if hosting doesn’t end up being your thing, we can move you to something else and go from there. We have the kitchen of course, as well as a fully operational bakery. We could also move you to serving, if that’s more up your alley.  

We try to rotate responsibilities every so often, just so everyone has the opportunity to hone their skills and stretch their metaphorical and physical legs [chuckle]. But if you find you’re more particular to the bakery than to hosting or hosting than to serving or anything like that, we can of course accommodate. Any questions? 

Yeah, sure. So all positions have the same starting rate which you’ll find is well above minimum wage. I prefer to keep my employees as happy and stress-free as possible. You can accept tips, but I would obviously pay you a livable wage as well. We usually ask people to donate to local charities as opposed to tipping, but there’s always the generous few who won’t take no for an answer. 

Sick days and holidays aren’t really a thing, either. We have an honor system. Basically if you’re scheduled to work, you’re getting paid for the day. If something comes up and you can’t make it, as long as you let me or your coworkers know as soon as possible, you’re getting paid for the day. If we close early or you get cut early because of how slow it is, you get paid for the full day. Holidays are the same. We’re closed on most calendar and religious holidays, but you’ll get paid regardless. Same goes for both solstices. Not sure where you fall on that spectrum, but we’re closed both days, regardless. 

And if you ever find anything to be a bit too much, we can of course work out some mental health days and vacation time for you. Any other questions?

[hums] Uhuh. So as far as uniform goes, we don’t ask much. We’ll give you a few free t-shirts and a sweatshirt when you start, but other than that, we’re really chill. Just dress in whatever’s comfortable and appropriate. If you decide you want to work in the kitchen, we do ask that you follow food safety laws, but we provide aprons and such. We also have a shoe program to keep you in something reliable and safe. Anything else?

When can you start? [laughs] I have a feeling I’m gonna like you, super star! You’re gonna fit right in. I know this must feel like such a relief, having a place to land after all the changes you’ve experienced recently. We’ve been in a bit of a slump as of late, what with everything going on. I think a fresh new face will definitely get everyone out of the rut we’ve been in. 

[papers shuffling, tapping on desk, chair scraping] I’ll admit, I was a little worried when the Department said they were gonna be sending someone down for an interview. I figured you guys were all stuffy office jockeys, especially an investigator [scoffs, chuckles]. And I know you’re gonna take the whole ‘keeping an eye on things’ seriously, but you’re just such a doll. At any rate, I’ll get all this put away and-

I’m sorry? Oh right, sorry. Yeah, DUMP said you’d be coming. Don’t worry, you didn’t surprise me or anything, dear.

Oh. Oh. You’re not from the Department? [swallows] You… don’t know what the Department is? [stammers] Oh my god. I’m gonna be in so much trouble. I should have asked for a badge and- [deep breaths, pacing footsteps] I could just…no… no no no no no, you need this job. And I think I need you too [tight laugh]. I did think you um, felt a little off, but I figured it was just the stress and the grief and… ooh sorry, I’m gonna stop talking now. 

Okay, okay, okay [grounding breath]. [To himself] This is all gonna be okay, Percy. We just need to have a chat with the hosts about communicating exactly what is said on phone calls regarding applications and interviews.

What? Oh, I’m so sorry. Please completely disregard, um, all of that? Um, it should go without saying that you definitely got the job! I mean, I already kind of implied that, but I can see how all of that could make you reconsider that assumption. You definitely got the job. I’ll call you, or would you prefer text? You know what, never mind! I’ll just text you to ask later [nervous laugh]. We’ll set up a day and time for you to get started. In the meantime, if you’ll excuse me, I now have another interview to prepare for. One much more frightening than this one [clears throat]. 

[out of breath] Please grab something to eat or drink on the way out, and please tell Emilio that I’m covering it. I’m sure these last few minutes have been equally as stressful for you as they have been for me. 

Anyways, I’m very, very excited to have you join the team, super star. I’ll walk you out [door opens, closes].

~~~

this takes place directly after the Inversion

If it wasn't totally clear the listener character (called Super Star, but will later be shortened to just Star) is an uninformed, unempowered human who called ahead about getting an interview at Elysium Eatery. They come prepared with a resume and a cover letter and dress up for the occasion. However, the speaker character, Perseus, or Percy, was expecting a different person for the interview. DUMP has been sending investigators and field officers into empowered businesses across town to keep an eye out for stray shades or any more trouble under the guise of employment at these empowered businesses. They've chosen Elysium to be one of these such businesses. It was originally supposed to be Sweetheart taking the job at Elysium, but it didn't pan out, due to Star being hired instead.

Thumbnail Template from @mokozroach

Logo and Thumbnail made on Canva

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Broken Shell

Epilogue for Sweet Treats AU: by character | chronological | epilogues

Warnings: these drabbles will include dark elements such as noncon, control, intimidation, and other stuff that may not be specified. Take this as you chance to scroll by.

Note: Sigh, oh Buck.

Please let me know what you think <3

🍒🍒🍒

"You really never baked?" You ask as you plop a bowl in front of Bucky.

The idea of him standing in your kitchen is absurd. You still can't believe it. It feels just a little fantastical. Your friends would never believe you, not they ever listened to your ramblings about earth's greatest defenders.

"No, I just… my ma hated me being in the kitchen and Co– my wife," he pauses and takes a breath, "before she went missing, my wife, baking was her alone time."

"Ah, makes sense," you open a drawer and pull out a whisk and a spatula, "sorry, didn't mean to bring all that up."

"Nah, nah, it's…it always comes up you know, you just learn to live with it." 

He puts on a smile. You catch him doing that a lot. Pretending everything’s okay. You’re not brave enough to push for more than that. You couldn’t imagine being him or going through that kind of pain.

“Well, it would be a good thing to learn then. To surprise her once you find her,” you offer the thin morsel of optimism.

“Huh,” his cheek dimples, “yeah, I guess you’re right.” He watches you pull out your tools and ingredients, “you always know exactly how to cheer me up, don’t you?”

“Eh, I don’t know,” you shrug as you plop the flour on the counter, “maybe I just don’t know how to handle bad thoughts so I go straight to escapism. Which baking is a great medium for that.”

He lets himself chuckle as you pull the open cookbook closer. You tap the page as he taps his fingers restlessly. It’s the first time he’s worn anything short sleeve around you, or even removed the glove.

“Take the lead.”

“What? What do I do?”

“Read each step and follow along. I’ll be here for moral support, mostly.”

“Uh, oh, really?” He looks back to the bowl fearfully.

“Don’t be like that, come on. With everything you’ve faced, I’m sure you can handle a simple cake.”

“Oh, I’ve been called simple before but I don’t know if I can handle this,” he clucks and leans forward, pressing his fingertip to the page as he reads. “Alright, cream eggs and sugar… we need cream?”

“No, mix the eggs and sugar,” you explain, until they’re smooth.”

“Ah, ha, alright, egg…” he grabs an egg from the tray and it cracks in his metal grip. His brows raise and his lips curve downward as its yellow innards leak from his fist. He opens his hand, “ugh, god, I forgot– I just–” 

He shakes his hand off as you grab the paper towels. You offer him some and clean up the broken egg. He’s quiet as he wipes off the vibranium and clutches the wad of towel. He plants his hands on the counter and sighs.

“I’m sorry, I fuck everything up.”

“It’s fine, it’s just an egg,” you hold out your hand, “let me throw that out.”

“No, you don’t understand. I break everything. I ruin everything!” He thumps his fist on the wooden countertop, “I… I was trying to fix things before it happened. Before she was gone and now it’s too late–”

“Bucky, please, you’re gonna find her and then you can fix it. I’m sure she’ll be more than happy to help with all knowing you looked so hard for her.”

He sniffs and closes his eyes. He blindly hands over the paper towel. He pinches the bridge of his nose and steps away from the counter. He tilts his head back and turns to lean with a groan.

“I’m not gonna find her,” his voice cracks, “I’ve been looking for so long… I don’t even wanna think of what’s happened.”

“Shush,” you drop the dirtied paper towels in the trash and face him, wiping your hands on a dish towel, “don’t talk like that. I hate… I hate hearing it. I hate seeing you like this.”

“You don’t know. You don’t know how lonely it is and how shitty it feels,” his timbre turns rocky as he drops his chin down, fixing you in his sights, “you can’t know.”

“I can’t,” you come closer, reaching hesitantly to rub his arm, the real one, “but I’m trying to understand, Bucky. You know I will always listen.”

“No, no, it’s not that I miss her,” he glances over at your hand as it caresses his sleeve. A wave of self-consciousness overcomes you. You recoil your arm and cross it over your chest, curling your fingers around your shoulder. “It’s that I don’t miss her as much as I used to.”

He looks back to you with glistening eyes, “because I think so much about you.”

“What?” You croak as the air rushes from your chest.

“I… I’m a piece of shit. I can’t stop myself. As much as I want to find her, to know she’s safe, I want just as bad to kiss you right now and it’s eating me up inside.”

“Bucky, I…”

“I know I can’t, I know, but she was going to a lawyer. It was over. I missed her a long time before she disappeared.”

“Oh, Bucky,” you reach to him again, not thinking as you take his hand. “I’m sorry.”

“I lost her already,” he squeezes your hand. “I won’t put that on you but could I have one thing?”

“What?”

“A hug,” he pushes out his lower lip pathetically.

“Of course,” you let go of him and open your arms, “friends can hug, Buck.”

He wraps you up in his embrace, strong and warm. It’s like a vice as he clutches you to him, tighter and tighter. A shudder rolls over him and flows through you.

You think to pull away, or try to, but stop yourself as he sniffles. He’s crying. He’s confused. He needs to get it all out. And you have to admit, it’s a tingly sort of feeling to know he needs you.

[flowercrowngods]

In which Eddie likes words that are pretty or funky or weird, and Steve goes on a treasure hunt for Good Words after learning that they make Eddie happy. They are utterly in love.

🤍 also on ao3

Eddie, with his bright eyes and brighter mind, has opened Steve’s eyes to a great many things. Steve just never anticipated that words would one day be included in that. 

It starts with his name. They’re hanging out at Eddie’s and Wayne’s new place, and his boyfriend is pouring over something — Steve can’t quite tell if he’s doing school work or working on his DnD campaign — when Steve hears it. 

“Stevie.” 

He looks up to see what Eddie wants, if he needs anything or if he wants to run something by him, ask for a different word, the time, anything. But Eddie isn’t looking at him. 

Steve frowns slightly and takes to watching his boyfriend instead of turning back to the magazine he’s been reading. Eddie is more interesting anyway, even when nothing’s happening. And, well, he’s right there for Steve to look at. How the hell is he supposed not to watch the way the light catches in those pretty curls and makes them shimmer, thanks to the new conditioner Steve bought him last week. 

Eddie is beautiful. So Steve watches. 

And then he says it again, quietly, as if testing how the word feels on his tongue. “Stevie. Steve. Stevie. Hmm.” 

Eddie doesn’t even seem to be aware of it, and it makes Steve smile, leaning back into the armrest of the couch, his head against the backrest, his view of Eddie unobstructed and perfect. He just wishes he could see his face, but there is a curtain of hair that sort of prevents that. 

“Stevie.”

It’s quiet, somewhere between contemplative and certain, playful and serious. Steve has absolutely no idea what’s happening, but he likes the way Eddie says his name. 

After a while, he can’t hold back on the affectionate amusement anymore and gently calls for Eddie’s attention. “Are you just saying my name?” 

And when Eddie looks up, he almost looks like a little kid that has been caught trying to sneak into a candy shop even though his parents said no. 

“Uh.” He leans back slightly, his pencil landing on the table and Steve follows it with his eyes, when— 

His smile grows, and so does this fondness inside his chest, the affection, the want and need to go over there and wrap Eddie in the tightest, longest, most intimate hug and never let go. 

“Babe, are you writing my name, too?” 

He knows he sounds terribly besotted — because he is. All of that is extremely endearing. 

Eddie, seeing that Steve isn’t mad or annoyed or demanding an explanation, relaxes immediately and shoots Steve one of his shy smiles. The ones that are for Steve’s eyes only. 

“Yeah? I mean, it’s a good name, Stevie, what can I say?” And then, with a different smile, his lips form the word again. “Stevie.” The smile grows, like it just makes him really happy to say it like that. 

“Hey, if it makes you happy, don’t let me stop you.” 

Eddie chews on his lip for a moment, not looking away from Steve, before he shrugs very slowly. “It does.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. I like it when words end on that ‘ie’ sound, y’know? I’m not even sure why I like it, but. Steve just feels too short, too crass, too… Too King Steve, if you know what I mean. Adding that extra syllable makes it feel more complete, more rounded, more… I don’t know, it’s just better like this. Stevie. You’re not Steve, you’re Stevie, because those feel like very different names to me.” 

Eddie shrugs again and then looks at the paper, huffing a laugh and nudging it with his pencil, smile still in place, though it’s a bit sheepish now. 

“And then sometimes when I like a word, or when I’ve made it better, I have to write it down. Or, don’t have to. But I want to, and it’s fun. Sometimes it makes me feel very accomplished afterwards.” He chuckles, scratching at the light stubble on his chin. “It’s a bit silly, I know.” 

Steve has been listening with rapt attention, soaking up every new detail about this boy that he likes so much, only to like him even more in the end. 

But he gets up at that last point Eddie makes and walks over until he’s standing between his legs. His hands find their way into Eddie’s hair where he’s tucking it behind his ear, caressing his cheeks, making Eddie look up at him with those bright, trusting, vulnerable eyes. 

“Hey,” he murmurs, hoping that Eddie doesn’t feel ridiculed or exposed just because Steve can’t ever stop being so damn emotional about him. “Eddie. We’ve been through hell and back. Fuck, we’ve been to hell and back. It’s kind of a miracle we’re still alive, okay, so, frankly, if saying my name like that makes you a little happy because it feels right, I am not going to judge you. I’m not asking you to stop. In fact, it’s kinda cute.” 

Eddie flushes and tries to hide his face, but Steve keeps him where he is and catches his lips in a tender kiss, then his nose, his forehead, his temple. 

“And so what if it’s a bit silly or whatever! You’re right, actually,” 

Now it’s Eddie’s turn to look surprised. “How do you mean?” 

“It does sound better like that, the way you say it. Nicer. I like it. So don’t stop on my account, yeah?” 

The surprise melts away and leaves in its wake something softer, something tender, something more. More than relief and understanding and affection. 

“Okay, Stevie,” Eddie says, still looking up at him with those big, brown eyes, illuminated by the desk light, and Steve can’t quite catch his breath. 

So he steals Eddie’s instead when he leans in for another kiss. Slow, careful, because something has changed between them. And it’s a good something, that’s for sure. 

Over the next few days, Steve realises that Eddie refuses to call him anything but Stevie for a while. No pet names, no exaggerated made-up terms of endearment, nothing. And he loves it. Loves seeing the small, shy smile on Eddie’s lips every time, loves the way his own heart skips, because he’s never been Stevie. 

He never got to be Stevie. It was Steven for his parents, Steve for school, King Steve for high school, and Dingus for Robin. This new name, handed to him on a satin pillow of trust and affection, brings something new to him, something softer. It makes him believe, hope, that he could be something softer, too. Soft because that’s what Eddie sees in him, because Eddie believes in him, because Eddie makes him all of that and more. 

Because Eddie makes him Stevie. 

And he thinks he’s falling in love with that boy. 

One night, as they’re holding each other, trying not to fall asleep because the night is fleeting and they barely saw each other today, Eddie refers back to that day a while back. 

“Y’know, I think the whole… Ordeal has done quite a number on me.” 

Steve freezes. They don’t usually do this before falling asleep, they know better than to challenge the nightmares like that, but he’s sure Eddie has a point with this, so he waits for it. 

“The almost dying part, or…?”

“Maybe, but actually just the whole thing. Because during D&D today, I… Or, well, not during DnD, because nothing can break the Dungeon Master, thank God! But before and after, it’s like I’d forgotten how to talk again.” 

Steve blinks. Eddie, forgetting how to talk? Eddie who’s always rambling, always muttering something or other, always keeping the conversation going even when there’s none to be had — forgetting how to talk? Again? That’s what trips up Steve the most, so he finds himself asking. 

“Again?” 

Eddie shifts in his arms, rolls Steve onto his back and crawls on top of him, his head on Steve’s chest, hands still finding his and drawing patterns on his palm. 

“When I was a boy, I was… Well, let’s say, I didn’t quite understand how basic communication worked, and no one really bothered to teach me. I’d just repeat words, repeat questions, entire sentences without really getting my point across, y’know? Like, I knew the words a lot of the time, but connecting everything was a bit overwhelming. It got better in time, I had a pretty great teacher, too, and then learned to just. Mask it. I’d be the crazy guy, sure, the one who’s not making sense when you ask him a simple question, the one who will answer in terminology he read in books because characters there can talk, right, and they don’t get made fun of, and they just. Get to live. By the time Wayne took me in, I knew how to say what I wanted to say, how to answer questions, even though I would still evade them if I didn’t know the answer.” 

“The Shire is burning, so Mordor it is,” Steve says quietly, and Eddie lifts his head to meet his eyes in the dim light of the room. 

“Hm?” 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to… But when. At Skull Rock. Dustin asked you to come along and I said we can’t just take a walk with you because you were still wanted, and then he asked you. You just said—“ 

“The Shire is burning,” Eddie fills in, as though realisation only just hits him. “So Mordor it is.” He swallows and puts his head back on Steve’s chest, where Steve’s hand immediately finds its way back into his hair. “Yeah. Like that. You got it.” 

“I always thought it was just a quirk. But it’s not?” 

Eddie sighs and seems to want to bury further into Steve. “I mean, I don’t even know at this point. But you understand what I mean.” 

“Yeah,” Steve says, though he’s not sure he really does. Doesn’t think he could, really. “So, what happened with the kids today?” 

“Remember how I have this thing with words? Where I’ll just say them over and over again because they feel good or funky or weird, all that jazz? Well, today’s word, apparently, was luminous.” 

“Luminous?” 

“Luminous. And boy, I think Dustin was mighty annoyed with me. Thought I made fun of him the whole drive home. And I used to have this under control, the funky words and the non-answers and the fucking quirky Munson freak show. Turns out, I don’t. And I blame Vecna.” 

Eddie is done, and he’s quiet, and Steve doesn’t know what to say. Doesn’t think there’s anything he can say, could say, to help. 

And he feels stupid when all he says after a while is, “Luminous is a good word, though.” 

But Eddie laughs, and the tension between his shoulders leaves, and he presses a kiss to Steve’s chest. Maybe not so stupid then. “It really is.” 

“What’s it mean?” 

“It means that something’s shining or glowing. Radiant. Bright. Something to do with light.” 

Steve smiles for some reason, forming the word with his lips again. “Good word.” 

Eddie just hums, and Steve mulls over everything that Eddie just told him. They lie there in silence for a while longer, before a thought strikes him. He braces himself the way he always does when he’s about to be vulnerable, when he’s about to expose himself and hope that no one is gonna strike where it’ll hurt the most. 

“Is that why you’re so patient with me?” 

“Come again?” 

“Your… Your difficulty with, uhm, with communication sometimes, right? Is that why you, why you don’t mind when I need a moment to get things, or to say things, or when I need you to use different words? You never make me fee stupid about it, not like… Anyway, I always wondered why you didn’t mind. Guess it makes a little sense now, huh?” 

Eddie is still for a moment before he raises not just his head but his entire body, coming up to straddle Steve’s hips and look him in the eye. 

“You deserve patience, Stevie. First of all. And second of all, it’s not a hardship — and it wouldn’t be a hardship for the buttheads either if they weren’t a bunch of self entitled teenagers. You’re not stupid. You hear me?” 

Steve nods, and Eddie cocks his eyebrow. “Not stupid,” Steve concedes, a smile forming on his lips. “Thank you.” 

“And don’t you forget it,” Eddie threatens, before cuddling back into his earlier position on Steve’s chest. “But yeah, I think you might have a point that you and I, we just…” 

“Match?” 

“Yeah, Stevie,” Eddie murmurs, the smile evident even in his voice. “We match.”

They fall asleep like that, holding hands, not willing to let go.

And that is how Steve finds himself looking at words differently. He listens to people differently, still oftentimes not catching their meaning, but he’ll catch their words as though they’re separated from any sort of meaning. He’s collecting them, and remembers that Hop once told him what he and El used to do. 

They’d have this word of the day deal going on, where El would learn one new, possibly big word each day. 

Maybe it’s silly, maybe it’s even offensive or patronising, but he still ends up telling Eddie about it, and the boy’s eyes are, well, almost luminous. 

“You’d want to do that?” 

“Sure,” Steve shrugs, tugging Eddie in for a hug because he never wants to stop holding him, dammit. “Maybe I could learn a thing or two, improve my vocabulary just to defy Dustin one of these days.” 

And Eddie just laughs into Steve’s throat, sounding happy and bubbly and excited. 

Steve realises he would do anything just for Eddie to laugh like this. 

They make it a routine. If Steve wants to get a goodnight kiss, he has to tell Eddie at least one Good Word, as they’re calling them now. The rule gets omitted more often than not, because Eddie simply cannot resist kissing him. Ever. Steve still collects the words for him, catches Eddie writing them down sometimes, over and over again, and just hooks his chin over his shoulder, never interrupting him. Never judging. 

Sometimes when they don’t know how a word is written or what it means, they’ll have a look at the dictionaries in Steve’s mother’s library, or call Nancy or one of the Wonder Whiz Kids with their endless wisdom; though even Dustin doesn’t know how to properly pronounce iridescence. They don’t care, though, because it looks pretty enough. 

The questions rise, people demand to know what’s up, and one day Steve tells them. Not the entire story about Eddie’s struggles with words and communication, but he tells them that, “Sometimes words that look or sound pretty, or funky, or weird, delight Eddie.” 

“Is delight one such word?” Lucas asks, and Steve flips him the bird. 

“Fuck off, Sinclair, or you can leave if you’re going to make fun of this.” 

They all realise pretty quickly that Steve is serious, and thad this is important to him. No one makes another snide remark and they all listen carefully as he tells them about how he and Eddie have been collecting the words.” 

“Like me,” El says, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips and Steve melts as he turns to her. 

“Yeah, El. Like you. I told Eddie how you did it back then, and he absolutely loved it.” 

Eleven looks so proud when he tells her, and Steve just really fucking loves these kids. Most of the time, at least. 

After that, nobody questions them anymore when Eddie or Steve call, needing their help with a word or two. Especially when they see how genuinely relieved and happy Eddie is when the remarks, the questions, the teasing stops. Even though he tries to hide it. 

One by one, everyone in their chaotic little group contributes to their treasure of words. They try to be sneaky about it, but Eddie finds out, of course. 

It’s on a Trauma Family Bonding Night where there’s pizza and ice cream in abundance and they all come together at Steve’s place, even Hop and Joyce joining them for the night. They talk the whole night through, and everyone will have brought their word. Ineffable, from Mike. Philanthropist, from Nancy. Epiphany, from Max. Catharsis, from Will, which quickly sends Eddie into a happy little spiral, rambling like he did that first time about Stevie. 

“It’s just, it’s a great word! Starts with a weak syllable, almost unimportant, but it’s crass, a harsh beginning even in its irrelevance. But then you get to the ‘tharsis’, and it’s big and bright and you can’t ignore it, can’t not open your mouth and by extension your mind and heart to this change, this realisation, this complete opposite to where you started. And then the end, the last syllable, and you don’t even have the chance to be harsh about it, to be crass, to be curt. Because the ‘sis’ needs you to take your time, making sure you end the word almost on a smile.” Eddie finishes his rambles and looks almost embarrassed about it, but Steve can only stare at him and find the most beautiful, most wonderful, most intelligent looking back at him because Eddie doesn’t quite dare to look at anyone else.

Steve moves to him, right into his personal space, and kisses him. It almost feels like catharsis, the word still hot on Eddie’s lips. 

“Told you it was a great word,” Will says and they all laugh, even when Eddie and Steve are breathless from just about everything. 

It’s that night that Eddie finds out that they all know, that they’re all in on their little word treasure hunt. 

He looks at Steve when everyone is gone, El leaving them with effervescent, and thinks, I want to spend the rest of my days with you, Stevie. 

Steve drops the spoon he’s been holding, half-empty tub of ice cream on the counter abandoned as he stares at Eddie. 

They’re both staring, because Eddie is realising what he’s just said out loud, and Steve just busy processing. 

“Forever,” he says after a moment, sounding dazed, feeling dazed, dizzy, floating, as he walks towards Eddie. “It’s a pretty big word, hm?” His hand finds Eddie’s cheek, caressing, mapping, promising. 

“Feels just big enough, honestly,” Eddie says before catching Steve’s lips in a kiss. 

They’ll talk about this. Of course they will. But not now. Now, they just create their own little forever. Just the two of them and the love they share.

--

written for @bethespark who wanted to see Eddie with echolalia, but then this ran away from me. well. you're not surprised.