#i so so so badly want to get better

[angelstrawbabie420]

i dont know how i can simultaneously feel like i should just die and that i have so much potential that i could be great. what does that even mean

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

[martyryo]

long hair marla long hair marla long hair marla lo

[spliqi]

on the topic of akutagawa being atsushi’s “strength”and the person who pushes him over the hurdle of his self-doubt it will always destroy me that in akutagawa’s mind, atsushi is the opposite. his point of weakness, the obstacle he has to overcome. and when akutagawa dies he does so with a smile because he’s fulfilling his wish, making a sacrifice that will surely place him above atsushi and get him the acknowledgment he craves, even though he won’t be alive to see it. while in the same moment atsushi’s purpose disappears in front of him - all the training he’s done is suddenly for naught, and he spends the remainder of the arc trying to stand on his own without the support of a rock he had no idea he’d been leaning against

[ganondoodle]

( elden ring dlc spoilers )

(sort of personal rambling post about my feelings about it, not looking for lore discussions)

its so obvious to me that base game radahn and dlc radahn are two entirely different entities really

one is a nigh mindless mess of what remains of a respected and once, and still in a way, very powerful general, like a tragic memory of what once was, even in this zombie like condition you can get an idea of who he was, even if only a little bit, the way he fights in synch with leonard for example

the other a recreation of him but like it was made by someone who didnt know him at all, shallow and surface level, either unintentionally so bc he really didnt know him well (and didnt care to get to know him) or intentionally made into somethign that fit miquellas IDEA of him, who he wanted but not who he really was, it shares name and design traits, to some degree fighting style, but it lacks "him", he has no voice, no shift in expression, he does whatever miquella wants, a perfectly obedient, silent, animated statue (even more obvious in second phase ...)

i mentioned it in a previous post but even his changed designed feels strangely off, basic elements are there (red hair, yellow eyes, golden lion theme) but it lacks cohesion (imo), like an action figure not a real person, its shiny and cool looking but doesnt make sense for him, he even has the sixpack armor thing, and overall a roman aesthetic to him, mulitple braids in his hair (a trait of miquella), useless swords hang around his waist, arms exposed, overall incredibly thin compared to base game radahn (be it just the armor or not), like designed by someone who has no or little idea of how swordfight works, almost .. childishly cliché

and yes, the fact that leonard is entirely missing is significant in my eyes, he is very important to radahn, its one of the few things we actually know about the real radahn, but miquella probably either didnt know or doesnt care, he doesnt care about leonard, of course he isnt here

"promised consort", promised by who to whom? if miquella, perfect little miquella, says it is promised to him, it has to be true and good and no one would would dare suggest hed lie (i dont think radahn would like that title either, ...like even his title in the end isnt about who he really is)

its all about what miquella wants, his perspective is told to you over and over- what radahn wants, his perspective, what he believes in doesnt matter, radahn doesnt matter, the only thing that matters is how he can serve miquella, how this idealized, silent puppet that is nothing of himself apart from basic design traits and name obeys miquella

by rot or by miquella, just a mindless toy whenever you see him

and it just makes me sad and angry ......... its tragic but so much so that it borders on cruelty for crueltys sake, it was never about radahn :(

[mxtxfanatic]

Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?

Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?

[fung-fungus]

the way jack is like “he’s fine” when will, sick as a dog, shot a man outside of alana’s house at ass o’ clock is ASTOUNDING

like ik jack’s always terrible and overworks will but why does it take hannibal urging jack to do something?

why did no one but hannibal notice will was sick and not doing well AND did something about it?

ik it’s an obvious running theme about the ablism in how people besides hannibal treat will (yes even beverly) but god every time i find a new instance of it or a new angle i fly in to rage

[soullessjack]

I am sooo sad that they stopped doing clever disguises for cases in later spn. Every day they’re regular civilians or feds. I need the priests and yoga instructors and psych ward patients again!!!!!!! I need them to be in situations!!!!! All of their cases are soooo boring and lame and contained where was the IMMERSION!! Where is the leadup to the monster and the twist and the detail and the creative insanity of it??? where is the PRESENCE!!!! Where are the stakes!!!!! Where are the left field episodes that intentionally feel out of place with the narrative and then directly tie into it later and leave the juiciest implications to be picked apart!!!!!! ? Where is the clashing of the normal world in such a funny way that they can bluntly tell the truth of their lives to be admitted to a ward. Where is the communicating something you don’t entirely remember through a silly game. Where are the lasting effects of what they go through!!! Where is the CINEMA.! If there is one thing I could ask for from the prequel it is this. . I need those beasts to be in actual situations again.

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

"[A Stitch In Time] is near and dear to my heart. I got out a lot of stuff I wanted to say about the character, and also about me. Because, basically, after a while there's that strange symbiotic relationship that happens between an actor and [a character]. When you really love a role and you really get inside the skin of that role, that's what happens. And that happened with me and Garak."

Happy Birthday, Andrew J Robinson! 🎉💖

[shroomerr]

HAPPY NEW YEAR !!! here's some of my fave/most popular art I did in 2024 <3

[anti-marauders]

Its funny remembering that in a way Mulciber and Avery are more respectful than The Marauders.

Cause The Marauders bully Lily's ex best friend Severus, despite James being in love with Lily and them claiming to be the good guys. Like bro if you want the girl befriend her best friend, damn.

And Mulciber and Avery, who are friends or acquaintances with Severus which is said by Lily, apparently don't do shit to Lily cause when she tries to get Severus to see how bad they are she only brings up the shit Mulciber did to Mary, someone Severus doesn't even know. Avery & Mulciber are clearly blood purists so they would obviously talk shit and I really think they'd talk shit about Lily wether they were friends with Severus or not cause she's a muggleborn and a gryffindor.

Yet Severus still hangs out with them and has no other issues with them especially cause he'd throw a fit if they talked shit about Lily. And if he did they'd clearly hex him cause they won't take shit from a half blood. Like wether they left Lily alone in an effort to keep Severus on their side to recruit him or not, they seemed smarter then the marauders. Cause while they didn't try to befriend her obviously, they knew if they wanted Severus on their side they didn't target the one person he truly cares about.

Now wether Mulciber and Avery were really close to Severus or not they still didn't target Lily or say shit cause I feel like they would considering how much James goes after her so they'd hear a lot about her. I feel like they'd attack her out of annoyance or berate her incase they thought she believed she was all that but apparently not cause Lily doesn't bring anything up and I know damn well she would have. Severus probably would have left them if they did.

[daffodil--lament]

look i figured out how to put this post underwater

my personal opinions and interpretations of a piece of literature are incoming. this is me nitpicking but: by the end of the first ghost scrooge is already ashamed of himself and looking toward change and when the third ghost comes he assumes that theyre looking upon a future in which he has changed so he's terrified and devastated when he sees the reactions to his death because he doesn't know if the scrooge they know in a year's time is one who has changed, or one who has changed enough.

like yes i do think that seeing his own miserable lonely celebrated death is vital to the man he becomes on christmas morning BUT. it's not just that. scrooge's fatal flaw isn't just greed, it's isolation and indifference. seeing that there is tenderness and love in this world not far from him is as important as watching his own kin disregard him as lost and loathsome.

that's why, in my mind, seeing how loved tiny tim is, understanding the love and faith and perseverance of the Cratchits as well as his own hand in continuing their poverty and illness, and being struck with the abject tragedy of tim's (really quite preventable) death changes him as much as the businessmen's jokes about him do.

i think what the point one might make here comes down to the fact that it isnt until scrooge is confronted by the reality of the suffering he is enabling that he understands how badly he needs to make a change. he knew Bob Cratchit is poor, I'm sure, but he was able to ignore that fact until the spirits show him the Cratchits' home and their malnourished children. Healthcare CEOS see that every day, they arent ignorant. healthcare companies actively fight to keep people in poverty and sickness. so maybe they're way more evil than Scrooge, who's to say

[lbhslefttiddie]

suddenly seized with the desire to write/draw a few short little scenes from the world after the events of You Can (Not) Redo (the uh. the yqy timeloop fanfiction. not the evangelion movie which i named it for) because it is, generally speaking, a happy ending, but also yqy is left deeply, deeply broken in ways that would be both fascinating and hilarious to explore

[pumpkinsouppe]

There’s def a lot I wish to be in Tears of the Kingdom, especially things like regional/diverse enemies. But the thing I really wish to see is Link express negative emotions. And not just “he’s angry at fighting enemies” but rather he’s angry and tired and upset and confused at his situation. He has followed orders from the king the moment he touched the master sword as a CHILD. We don’t even know if he truly got to be a child because his whole life has been about duty. And I’m pretty sure in this timeline he was descended from the Hylian knights so who knows how long he’s been training to just be a standard knight before the master sword.

Link SHOULD be angry that he’s stuck in this cycle of rebirth. Even when he died, the fall of Hyrule was blamed on him and he didn’t even get to stay dead. He was woken up and had to finish his duties while also being constantly reminded that his death is what lead Hyrule to look like is does. He should be angry, angry at Ganon and Demise and at the Hylian Royalty for forcing him into this situation over and over and over.

And this is exactly why I hope TOTK is similar to Majora’s Mask. Not because Majora’s Mask was scary. But because it dealt with the grief and isolation and depression Link had to face after going through an incredible traumatic journey, and then losing all of his friends as a result. Most notably losing the ONE friend who was with him the entire time. Who completely understood everything Link went through because she experienced the same thing. And she was the entire reason Majora’s Mask even happened in the first place, because Link was desperately searching for Navi because he was scared to be alone. I want TOTK to explore these hard and brutal emotions for both Link and Zelda. I want them both to be scared, angry, and distraught. I want them to cry over themselves and be selfish. I want them to do something impactful that isn’t for the sake of Hyrule. I hope there’s conflict with the Goddess Hylia. I hope they reject her outstretched hand after she has burdened two children to sacrifice themselves for the good of Hyrule.

I want there to be a good resolution to TOTK. I want both Link and Zelda to choose their own path even if that means leaving Hyrule. But I want the path to resolution to be painful and really explore Link’s true emotions. He is stoic and mute because he is burdened with the weight of the world. What good is a knight who talks when he is judged based on his actions and ability to use a sword.

With Zelda’s warning that she thinks that even Link can’t succeed, I hope we do see helplessness in Link. Again to Majora’s Mask we did get to see Link helpless. He was transformed into a small Deku Scrub with no weapons, no horse, and was an outlier in a town filled with humans. But he learned to work through that helplessness. He embraced the spirit who had to give his life for Link to look the way he does and figure out new ways to fight and communicate. He later became grateful for the Zora and Goron who let him use their spirits to aide his journey. He was able to confront Majora’s because he was never truly alone. Everyone he’s ever met has given him strength even if they aren’t with him presently.

And that’s what I hope to see in Link in TOTK. A helplessness due to his isolated burden, faced against something he could never win against alone. And thankfully we did get that to an extent in BOTW with the champions and even Zelda. But even then, fighting the divine beasts was optional. Link in a sense could have faced Ganon alone. Hell people even fight Ganon with no clothes and only carrying sticks.

No, I want Link, even in the most powerful armor with the most powerful weapon, to be helpless. And I want him to be angry about it. And upset. And hurt. Because he has earned the right to express every painful emotion for his circumstance and he deserves to be able to express his frustration. It is okay if he isn’t the hero.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

It's weird to expect lb to be able to read cn mind and called her a bad partner for it. But it's even weirder for lb to ignore cn WHEN HES OBVIOUSLY IN DISTRESS and not called her a bad partner for it because I think called her a bad partner for ignoring it is understandable and justified especially since she consider herself as his boss.

Every time I bring up this conflict, I try to make it clear that I don't think Ladybug was blameless, I just think Chat Noir's writing was worse. Let's walk through the problem to show what I mean.

Season four stars with Marinette extremely stressed by her new Guardian status. In Truth and Lies, the first episodes of the season, we get this:

Ladybug: Will you cut it out with the practical jokes? I could have really hurt you! Cat Noir:(answering while hanging by the yo-yo) M'lady, the only thing that really hurts me is when you make me go on patrol by myself. (sighs, relaxing his posture) I even missed your little angry pout. Ladybug: Sorry, Kitty Cat, I'm a bit over my head at the moment. (pulling him up) Cat Noir: I bet! "Guardian of the Miraculous", big name, big responsibility!

This is also the start to Chat Noir communicating poorly. In this episode, he's straight up told that Ladybug is in over her head and he never once asks how he can help. In fact, we even get him saying this when asked how he feels about the change:

Truth: Cat Noir, tell me what- (interupted by Ladybug throwing a present at Truth) Ladybug: (covering her parasol with foil) ...do you think about my new role as guardian! Cat Noir: If it doesn't change things between us, then I'm good with it!

So not a great start to the season. I know people focused on Adrien's terrible treatment of Kagami in these episodes, but this Ladynoir dynamic was actually what rang alarm bells for me. I kept waiting for Chat Noir to offer his support since it was really, really obvious that Ladybug was in over her head since she was late to patrols, the last season literally ended with her losing her mentor figure, and, you know, she straight up told him that was what was going on?

The next episode is Gang of Secrets in which we see Marinette out her identity to Alya. I get why she did this, she needed support and her partner doesn't seem interested in giving it, but she can't say that for certain because she never asked him directly and she should have. Trusting Chat Noir over Alya would have allowed Ladynette to maintain the security of her secret identity - a thing she claimed was more important than ever - and to honor their partnership. At the very least, she should have told Chat Noir that Rena Rouge was now a full time holder so that he could account for that in battle and to minimize the fallout by owning up to her mistake asap. The longer a lie goes on, the worse the truth will hurt.

To Ladybug's credit, she does eventually acknowledge her mistake after the Scarabella incident:

Ladybug: You... must've been pretty surprised to discover there was another holder! (Silence. She sits beside Cat Noir.) Ladybug: I'm really sorry, Cat Noir. I should've told you. I mean, if I found out that you told someone about your secret identity, I'd... probably be upset, too. I'm really sorry I hurt your feelings.

This is a decent apology. She doesn't try to absolve herself of wrong doing. Instead, she acknowledges that what she did would hurt her, too, if the shoe were on the other foot. The only thing she loses points on is the fact that she doesn't tell him about Rena Furtive.

However, instead of agreeing with her and telling her that she has hurt him, Chat Noir says that she did nothing wrong and never once brings up how their weakened partnership is bothering him:

Cat Noir: You didn't hurt my feelings. You did everything right. Paris will always need a Ladybug superhero to watch over her. It's just... I realized that if one day that hero wasn't you, m'lady, since we don't know each other's identities, that means... I'd never see you again. Ever. And now, I just don't know if I can bear it.

This is the thing that I hate about this arc. The reason why I say Ladybug is blamed for not reading his mind. Especially because, three episodes later, we get Rocketear, which gives us this:

Cat Noir: Everyone has doubts now and then, (looks down) even me... Ladybug: Is everything okay, Cat Noir? Cat Noir: Yeah, yeah. (prepare his fist) Pound it! Ladybug: (fistbumps) Pound it!

Rocketear is the episode where Nino outs that he and Alya know each other's identities while acting like Ladybug said identities weren't a big deal even though that is very much not what happened. You'd think that Chat Noir would want to know the full story, but instead he just lies and says that everything is fine.

So we have two situations where the show allowed Ladybug to give Chat Noir a chance for clear and open communication and both times he turns her down.

What's worse is that he clearly starts making up stories in his head, leading to Kuro Neko, which starts with Adrien avoiding a fight on purpose as some sort of shit test. He then gets upset when Ladybug... doesn't lament his absence on national TV?

Clara: (from TV) By the way, where's Cat Noir? You've saved Paris without him quite a few times recently. Are you two at odds with each other? Carapace, Pegasus, Vesperia and Pigella: (from TV) Pound it! Ladybug: (from TV) Of course not, it's just that... umm, he's a partner like any other! The most important is to pick the best superheroes for each mission, with or without Cat Noir. No matter what, we've got a great team and we'll always be here to save Paris. (Adrien is shocked.) Adrien: (turns off the TV and sighs) "A partner like any other..."

Dude, what did you want her to do here? Complain that you flaked on her? Make Paris feel less safe by saying she doesn't know where you are? Imply that the fight was barely won without you? What are you doing? Plagg, you are completely failing as a mentor right now.

The shit test continues as Chat Noir goes to meet up with Ladybug now that the battle is over, arriving just as Ladybug has finished instructing the team on what to do:

Ladybug: Come on, guys! Hurry up before you all detransform. I'll meet you at rendezvous points. (The heroes jump away in different directions, and Ladybug starts typing something on her Yo-yo.) Cat Noir: Hey! Meow are you, m'lady? Ladybug: Great, thanks, but I gotta go retrieve all these Miraculous. Cat Noir: I could lend you a paw to help save time. Ladybug: Thanks, kitty cat, but it's a guardian's job to do it. Cat Noir: I know who some of them are, remember? I was there when you first gave them their Miraculous! Ladybug: You don't even know where their rendezvous points are, I don't have time to— Cat Noir: Playing cat and mouse is my forte, you know— Ladybug: (yelling) If you wanna save me time, stop wasting it in the first place! (Cat Noir gasps. As Ladybug swings away, Cat Noir clenches his fist.) Cat Noir: And take my Miraculous back when you're done!

So Ladybug doesn't publicly chastise Chat Noir for missing the battle and rejects an offer to help because of very legitimate timing concerns, leading to Chat Noir quitting because she failed his stupid, petty, childish tests. Realistic writing? Yes. Writing that paints Ladybug as the one in the wrong? No.

Going into this episode, Ladybug has no idea that things are messed up between them even though she has actually kept communication lines open. She asks him if things are okay, but he lies. And when he's ready to quit? He plays stupid games and wins a stupid prize. It's really not shocking that the next scene sees Ladybug totally baffled by what just happened:

Plagg: For a while now, you've been neglecting this camembert— I mean Cat Noir, and going on adventures with the all other cheeses! Ladybug: But he should be happy about it, it gives him more time off. Plagg: Cat Noir doesn't wanna have time off, Ladybug! He is in love with you! And your persistent calling on all the other heroes has broken his heart.

And how is she supposed to know that, Plagg? Was she supposed to assume that her partner was lying when he said he was fine? Because she did ask and he said that nothing was wrong. But something was wrong and it lead him to build up a story in his head, reading nonexistent intent into her actions, all of which is toxic and unhealthy communication.

I cannot stress how common this shit is. I've seen it so many times and I will own that I've done it in the past and wound up getting no support when I needed it because I'd directly told people I didn't and they committed the heinous crime of... believing me.

Here's the other thing, there are times when I'm in distress and legitimately don't want or need help. Times when I just need to be alone for a bit. So if someone asks me if I'm okay during those times, I'm probably just going to say, "Yeah, I just need a people break" or something like that. That's why the Scarabella scene is so bad. Ladybug can see that Chat Noir is in distress and he gives her a fully plausible answer: I'm not upset with you, I'm just saddened by the idea of losing you. And she believes him because why wouldn't she?

Same goes for Rocketear. It's reasonable for Ladybug to assume that Chat Noir is just shaken by the fight. She has no idea about the bombshell that Nino dropped right before the fight. She doesn't even know that Nino and Chat Noir are actually close friends, making this fight a lot more devastating than it looks at face value. Her actions here are not objectively wrong. They're only wrong if you know the whole story, including Adrien's needs. Things that she cannot know unless Chat Noir uses his words to tell her things.

I cannot over stress how much season four is a textbook example of denying yourself support because you cannot communicate your own needs. Is it an understandable character flaw for a character with Adrien's background to have? Yes. Absolutely. 100%. But it's still a character flaw. This season desperately needed an arc about Adrien learning to tell people what's wrong. Not because he's the only one in the wrong here, but because things cannot get better when Ladybug has no idea that she's hurting him. (Nino has no idea either, but let's keep our focus on Ladybug.)

One of the most important things you can do for your own mental well being is to dismiss the idea that your needs are the same as everyone else's. Everyone needs different amounts of attention and values different behavior based on things like their upbringing and life events.

I get the feeling that I'm wired pretty similar to Marinette. At least, it influences how I write her because I can go months without talking to my best friends and still call them my best friends, a trait we all share because two of use are artsy introverts and two of us are moms to young kids, which allows for very little free time. Meanwhile, my SO and his best friend spend hours on the phone almost every week. I swear that those two go into withdrawal if they don't talk at least once every seven days. If months went by without them talking? Something would be very wrong, but the exact same time gap isn't even remotely concerning when it comes to my friends. It's something my SO and I had to figure out when we got together because I need a lot less attention than he does. But we communicated and found a balance that we continue to work to communicate about so that he doesn't feel neglected and I don't feel overwhelmed by too little me time.

What I'm trying to say is Marinette wasn't horribly wrong for assuming that Chat Noir was telling her the truth or that he liked having a larger team so he had less responsibility. Those are reasonable assumptions. Especially since he never actually indicated that he wanted more responsibility until he was ready to quit and decided to shit test her by pushing for more to do when she was stressed and on a timer.

I do think that she should have offered it to him before that or - at the very least - the show should have clearly stated why she didn't do that since it apparently had nothing to do with Chat Blanc trauma like we all thought it did. I'm not saying that she's blameless or perfect or that there weren't things she could have done better. It's just really hard for me to look at Chat Noir's behavior in season four and go, "Oh yeah, he's the injured party here. Ladybug holds all the blame and did everything wrong." She did many things wrong, but generally speaking, she owned her faults and tried to keep communication channels open. Chat Noir chose to ignore those chances to talk or otherwise try to express his needs in a clear and understandable manner.

We'll end with one final point to drive this home: You said that she's his boss. Well, if my boss asked me, "is everything okay with the project?" and I said, "yes" while freaking out about the upcoming deadline that I'm probably going to miss because he's given me too much work, the issue is not all on my boss. It's on both of us. Him for overloading me and me for not telling him I'm overloaded. You could even argue that it's mostly on me because I'm the only one who can properly gauge my own ability to do a given workload. As soon as it was too much, I should have said something. And if I don't feel like my boss is approachable? Then I should quit. But that isn't the situation I'm in and it doesn't appear to be the one that Chat Noir was in, either. He wanted to stay part of the team, he just totally failed to tell Ladybug how being on the team was making him feel.

People magically knowing what you need and how you feel is a myth. I promise you, most people in this world do not want to cause you pain, but if you cannot clearly express when someone is causing you pain, then you will continue to get hurt by people who would be very happy to not hurt you if they actually knew that their actions were causing you pain.