#i shouldn't feel like this at this age should i?

[harpyjack]

I'm going to be real with you right now. I also worked supervising children that age. The way you reacted to this makes me feel like you shouldn't be watching children that young unsupervised.

You are twenty two years old. You should be old enough to look at a picture and understand the difference between five boxes on a shelf five feet off the ground and an entire aisle, and I'm saying this because folks younger than you are hired to stock those some shelves.

You are an adult. You should be able to understand things like context. You see how other people move their children throughout a store. You know that nobody is taking their child down to this aisle and holding them up to look at these boxes.

We really need to stop coddling people your age in regards to children because it happened to my generation and we ended up with a bunch of emotionally frustrated adults who didn't know how to communicate their needs.

[doberbutts]

With this latest round of discourse being "trans men shouldn't complain about being kicked out of women's spaces", I felt the urge to write up a relatively long post regarding the topic, as I feel it is a long tangled mess and involves a significant amount of people simply talking past each other.

To begin, what is a woman's space? I ask this, because "women's spaces" often fall under one of three categories: medical services, social services, and social gatherings. Of the three, trans men need access to nearly everything if not everything included within "medical services" and "social services". These things often need to be considered co-ed anyway, but are still considered "for women" and often are labeled things like "women's health" or "women's defense". Social gatherings- things such as book clubs, concerts, festivals, and other similar outings- can have a nuanced and complicated history when it comes to the inclusion, or exclusion, of trans men.

As an example- I am a binary, gay trans man who has not yet been sterilized. If I become pregnant and need to seek out social services, I must do so via my provider's "Women and Babies" department. I am neither of those things, and yet regardless of whether I am completing or terminating the pregnancy, I must label myself a woman in order to receive care. If I wish to have a pap smear, receive birth control, or investigate my chances of ovarian and cervical cancer, I must do so via the "Women's Health Clinic". I am not a woman, but I must label myself as one in order to discuss sterilization options. Many trans men who have had their gender markers changed prior to sterilization have reported difficulty even booking an appointment, as well as difficulty convincing their insurance to pay for this appointment due to a discrepancy with gender markers vs gendered care. Many have discussed the realities of being a pregnant man, whether they remained pregnant until their child was born, or whether they terminated said pregnancy with an abortion.

It should come as no surprise that the statistics for trans men receiving quality gynecological care are abysmal. It should be equally unsurprising to hear how many trans men have died from botched abortions, untreated miscarriages, infections and cancers of the uterus and cervix and ovaries, and complications during pregnancy or birth. We belong in this space, despite it being labeled "for women", and the only thing pushing us out has done is quite literally what's been killing us.

This is, of course, not even taking into account the numbers of trans men who have been forced to become pregnant via their husbands or families as a means to detransition them, and those who have become pregnant as a result of corrective rape. There is a saying among trans men of my age- it isn't "we all know a guy this has happened to", it's "which of us haven't experienced this? who among us doesn't fear this? who will it happen to next?"

Which brings me to my next point: women's social services. As with women's medical care, nearly everything labeled "for women" as a social service must be inclusive to trans men. Shelters for domestic violence survivors, rape crisis centers, self defense classes, family planning, these are all things that honestly should already be co-ed. But, many times, they are exclusively targeted towards women. I understand why, I do. But with trans men being statistically more likely than cis women to experience the need for these services, it seems a cruelty to close their doors to a vulnerable demographic reaching out for help.

Where should trans men in crisis go? Shutting the door to us without addressing the reason we need to access these resources gives us a single ultimatum: detransition, or die. Go back to being a woman, or die knowing the likelihood that a woman's name will adorn your headstone, and "daughter, wife, mother" will be said in your obituary. Much like the medical services, this incomplete answer has lead many trans men to their deaths. Whether by their own hands, or by their attackers'.

But there are other social services out there that perhaps are not as dire. Women's scholarships, colleges, all girls schools. Girl Scouts, women's sport leagues, gym memberships. Trans men don't need access to these, right?

Well... is the trans man in question out? Has he been living as a man, or is he still closeted? Is it safe for him to come out? Does he pass, or has he just bought his first binder and given himself his first buzz cut? Is he living under the control of his parents, or is he able to freely decide for himself the type of person he'd like to be and the type of life he'd like to live?

You see, I was a Girl Scout once. And, if we are to believe to our core that trans men are men even before they know the words "transgender", this means I was a boy in a girl's space. I didn't know that being transgender was an option for me at the point where my troop disbanded, and another leader to replace the first within my local area was not found until after I had aged out.

But also... I was in 7th grade when my troop disbanded. Two years later, I would learn the word "transgender", and suddenly everything would make sense. Two years later, I would come out to my parents and my sisters. To put this into perspective, I graduated high school in 2010. The Boy Scouts officially allowed cisgender girls and transgender people of all genders to join all programs in 2019.

I was not expelled from my Girl Scout troop. My leader simply stopped showing up to meetings, and my troop disbanded to go our separate ways when leadership could not find someone quickly enough to replace her. But... if this had not happened, I would have been a recently out transgender boy in a girl's social service, still wearing push up bras and frilly shirts because that's all my parents would buy me until I became an adult and moved out and had a job with my own money to re-purchase myself a wardrobe. Indistinguishable from any of the others, outside of what went on inside my own mind.

I would not have been accepted into the Boy Scouts, if Girl Scouts had been taken from me as abruptly as it was from a different transgender boy in the same state I was born and raised. Which would have left me with... nothing. Neither. And the only reason I even joined the Girl Scouts was because I had wanted to join the Boy Scouts and the local troop had refused to allow me, because they had labeled me a girl.

I don't believe I'm the one that coined Schrodinger's Gender, but I do reference it often. In this situation, one is both a boy when it hurts, and a girl when it hurts. Even if that gender label changes by the second, the point is to use your gender and your assigned sex to hurt you.

But then, why do these services even have to be gendered to begin with? After all, Boy Scouts just updated to be The Scouts, and has removed (on paper) the insistence on gendering.

Well... I certainly agree that the majority of gendering these services is at this point a concept that needs to be reformed, but I'm unconvinced that we will be able to completely integrate without addressing the reason they were segregated by gender in the first place.

Women's gym memberships are gender segregated for two reasons. Women and girls- and anyone labeled as women and girls, regardless of true identity- are frequently not afforded the same access to resources as cisgender men and boys. Women and girls- and anyone labeled such- are frequently at high risk of predatory sexual behavior and physical violence. Both of these problems are symptoms of a larger system of misogyny at play, and both of these problems directly affect trans men especially those who have not transitioned in a way that makes them pass for cis men.

Regardless of the truth of my identity, the reality is that I was seen as and treated as a girl when it came to physical fitness, and thus barred from the same activities freely offered to the boys. Regardless of the truth of my identity, I have experienced predatory sexual behavior from cis men as young as 8 or 9 years old, continuing past when I came out and began to transition socially.

If the problem is not addressed, cis women cannot re-integrate with cis men. But, additionally, if the problem is not addressed, the choice still remains clear for trans men. Detransition, stay closeted, or go without.

A common complaint of trans men is the invisibility and erasure our demographic faces. It should be easy to see why this happens. The problem of a misogynistic society is one that continues to this day, and without addressing the problem we cannot hope for success in creating a more inclusive space. At the same time, trans men are being pushed out and isolated as they realize they must make a choice.

As for social gatherings, such as a woman's retreat or a woman's music festival? Of course, it may sound odd to say that a trans man should feel welcome there. But the truth of the matter is the majority of the trans men asking for the ability to stay are trans men who have been within that space for years already, prior to coming out, prior to realizing some things about their genders, prior to taking their first steps as men.

I'm pretty good friends with an older butch who told me that I am the first person they ever told that they were a nonbinary man. This person is in their 50s. They're married. But the wife doesn't like it, and they love their wife too much to cause friction in the relationship, so they keep it to themselves, and they keep quiet, and they don't say anything about being transgender, but in their head they aren't a woman. This person is not a woman, by their own insistence. Should this person be forcibly ejected from their local lesbian community, which they and the wife helped form decades ago? Should they divorce their wife, since that would make her not a lesbian anymore?

What harm is it, truly, to allow this person to stay? Social isolation kills people. The trans man suicide statistics are just as abysmal as any of the others I've mentioned here. Forcing someone to burn 20, 30, 40 years of their lives and their friends and their achievements because they are finally living as themselves is a deeply hurtful and isolating experience.

The majority of trans men asking to be included in these spaces are not trans men like me- who never really jived with the idea of womanhood and distanced ourselves as much as possible the moment we saw the opportunity. They are men like my friend, often existing outside of the binary, often with a deep love and appreciation for womanhood despite realizing that perhaps the label does not fit them as well as they once thought. They often have many years of connection, entire lives spent intwined in these spaces.

What good does it do to chase them out? What harm does it to do let them stay?

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Well, seeing as we are nearing the end of book 7 (Please?), I've been reflecting over the dreams and my thoughts about them, and it can basically be summed up as, "This could've been an email." Like don't get me wrong, I'm freaking out about Malleus but at the same time I'm so ready for book 7 to be over and to move on with the story. Even saying my criticisms (chaotic dream pacing cough cough Lilia, explanations that are too vague, etc.) Feels like beating a dead horse at this point. I wish they had added some sense of urgency to the story to hurry it along too. Maybe add a time limit to how long they can spend in a dream, or maybe they could include a deadline of a week before things go to shit, idk.

I'm remaining optimistic as always because I love twst so much and always will, but man. If we have another 100 parts of untrimmed fat to go through I may pass away from old age.

I think there's nobility in trying to keep optimistic about a hobby/interest, but I also think that there shouldn't be anything wrong with critiquing what you enjoy. It comes from a place of love and wanting that hobby/interest to be better because you care about it so much! So really, I encourage everyone to critique as they wish.

I kept track and did the math because I'm silly:

Yuu/Grim's dream spans 7-40 to 7-43 and 7-51 (5 parts)

Sebek's dream spans 7-51 to 7-54 (4 parts; 1 part has overlap with Yuu/Grim)

Lilia's dream spans 7-55 to 7-100 (46 parts, but feels much longer due to this segment having multiple battle maps)

Idia's dream includes 7-38, 7-39, and 7-109 to 7-116 (10 parts)

Epel's dream spans 7-120 to 7-123 (4 parts)

Rook's dream spans 7-124 to 7-130 (7 parts)

Vil's dream spans 7-131 to 7-139 (9 parts)

Kalim's dream spans 7-140 to 7-146 (7 parts)

Jamil's dream spans 7-147 to 7-157 (11 parts)

Floyd's dream spans 7-158 to 7-165 (8 parts)

Jade's dream spans 7-166 to 7-173 (8 parts)

Azul's dream spans 7-174 to 7-191 (18 parts)

Jack's dream spans 7-192 to 7-202 (11 parts)

Ruggie's dream spans 7-203 to 7-211 (9 parts)

Leona's dream spans 7-212 to 7-226 (15 parts)

Deuce's dream spans 7-227 to 7-235 (9 parts)

Cater's dream spans 7-236 to 8-244 (9 parts)

Ace's dream spans 7-245 to 7-256 (12 parts)

Trey's dream spans 7-257 to 7-268 (12 parts)

Riddle's dream spans 7-269 to 7-280 and 7-283 to 7-294 (24 parts, but 7-286 has 12 portions and not 1 portion so the true number is closer to 35)

Averaging that out, that means a character's dream to waking segment takes ~12 parts (rounded down from 12.4) 💀 but of course we have outliers like Sebek and Epel, who only have only 4 parts and Riddle (that glory hog/j) taking up an ABSURD 35 parts, which is almost triple the average.

I think the dreams were definitely novelties around the time they initially come out. We get fanservice and the high of speculating what the dreams could mean for each dreamer. But then as more time passes and that excitement wears off, we start to scrutinize these segments a lot more. We start to realize how the pacing is extremely uneven, how they keep overcomplicating or reexplaining how the dreams operate, and/or how Malleus has not been present since 7-112. Lilia hasn’t been present since even further back, in 7-100. The devs should have cut back to Malleus and Lilia’s brawl to catch up with them between dream hopping from one dorm to the next. The repeating patterns (like how each boy uses their UM once, how the boys from the previous dorm stay behind to let the OB boy jump into the next dorm's dreams, etc.) quickly become repetitive and predictable. We become annoyed with how none of the characters seem to be acting with urgency; they often stand around talking about funny experiences or their families or whatever when they should be investigating seriously because they don't know how much time they have left before Malleus's magic shrouds all of Twisted Wonderland. They really should have added a cap to how long they can spend in each dream or how long they have until it's Too Late for the world. It feels like there are no stakes when the characters are wasting time watching Rook's Vil and Neige fancams or eating a bunch of cakes in Cater's courtroom. The devs only started to change up these formulas WAY too late (around like Savanaclaw???), like having the freshly woken dreamer attack us (Jack), having a very depressing dream (Leona), Malleus becoming relevant again (Riddle), NPCs helping us instead of harming us (Leona and Riddle), etc.

At this point, I'm SO tired and I just want book 7 to be done and over with (good luck to EN only players experiencing this for the first time) OTL Here's to hoping we don't have to sit through another useless 100 parts of Nothing... The end of the book 7 chapter 12 part 3 (yeesh, that's a mouthful) update gives me some hope at least; it looks like there's going to be actual danger moving forward!

[miwiheroes]

We analyse the rinkomania, pizza place, dessert but not so much the blyer scenes in the California house before the heart to the heart scenes. Maybe I haven’t come across any posts yet.

But did you spot any Blyer scenes or have any analysis surrounding those scenes?

Sorry for asking so many questions. All these years of being in fandom (more than 20 years) but finally get a slow burn and sweet queer couple where it might be really endgame and the feelings are all love and care from the very start.

Hi it's okay I love the questions :)

I'm not totally sure what scenes you mean, is it the one at the breakfast table?

Because I guess I have a little analysis on this scene <3 Thanks sosososooo much for bringing it up because I just watched it and I literally died because of how subtly sweet it is on Will's part, which makes it more painful when Mike walks away.

Basically, this scene is supposed to show the level of understanding and care Will has for Mike's feelings. Even after their fight. So when Mike ignores the feelings and walks away, it's all the more painful because it's like Mike has no idea what's right in front of him -- a guy that truly understands him. Therefore, the audience is supposed to root for Will's happiness and Mike seeing that Will loves him.

ALSO THEIR CLOTHES MATCH BUT IM NOT GETTING INTO THAT

So we start the scene with Will staring at Mike while Mike worries about his fight with El. This is to establish Will's POV in this scene. When Will notices that Mike is looking at the plate and the door to El's room, the directors decide to give a separate shot of Will's longing/upset look just to really drive home how much he cares about Mike's reaction and how he's feeling.

To the viewer, it should be pretty obvious by now that Will has feelings for Mike.

Jonathan then suggests that they see a movie and Will, instead of deciding for himself and thinking about what he wants, he looks to Mike.

In this small space of time, Will notices how upset Mike is. He knows that he's not in the mood to see a movie. He also knows that Mike won't say anything. So he makes a suggestion to Jonathan that's not for his sake, no, it's for Mike's. Even if it means making himself sadder, Will is ready to allow Mike to stay at home and probably heal his relationship with El.

What's so lovely about this is that Will doesn't embarrass Mike by throwing him under the bus. He doesn't go: "Mike's feeling upset so we should stay home", he knows Mike well enough to know that Mike doesn't like that, so he just makes a general suggestion.

Jonathan's annoyance at them moping is integral to the scene because it shows how much Will gets Mike's feelings. Jonathan doesn't understand Mike but Will does.

Will then defends Mike and says "It's just..." then looks at him, deciding what to say. In rhetoric, he's saying "It's just... Mike is upset and we shouldn't go", but again, Will understands Mike enough to not only know that he's sad, but also to know he wouldn't want to be thrown under the bus ofc. So he comes up with another excuse.

A super cute and painful thing about this is that Will could easily take all the credit for letting Mike stay at home like he clearly wants. Will could take the credit for understanding him. Instead, he just pretends that the movie is going to suck. Showing how selfless he is. Showing that all he wants is for Mike to be okay, no matter what, even if it makes himself sadder, even if he doesn't reap the reward.

So after all of Will's gentle understanding of Mike's moods and his needs, the audience wants a reward for Will's good deed. Instead, Mike walks away, completely oblivious to Will's act of understanding and love.

The camera lingers on Will for ages, showing that the scene is not about Mike missing El. The audience is not intended to be happy about Mike leaving the table to see El. They are supposed to be frustrated that Mike doesn't see how much Will cares about him. They are supposed to see how good Will is for Mike, and the writer's intention here is to build chemistry between them on Will's end.

oh my god this may just be the most painful scene now im so sorry

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

I'm personally not a fan of the 5 minutes to detransform rule. It was fine in the earlier seasons, but it's ultimately not a fun gimmick. It makes the five segmented designs of the miraculous seem pointless, specifically with adults. I, personally, would have the segments represent uses (i.e. five sentimonsters, five cataclysms, five time jumps through burrow, etc.) before they have to consciously detransform to recharge the kwami powers. I think it gives the characters more purpose than just being a one time use power per battle/episode (and they can still contribute without the abilities), and it nerfs some of the more overpowered abilities to create more risk.

Hey, same brain! I argue for a very similar fix!

My ideal version of the miraculous is that you get five charges that the spots, claws, etc. count down. Then, once the charges are used up, the spots, claws, etc. reappear and start counting down. I don't think you should get all five charges at once, though. I think you should either need to train to get more or that getting more should be a product of age.

I take this stance because I like the idea of older or more experienced Chosen having more power, but I hate canon's one-or-all approach. It just feels silly. There's no buildup to more power. You just randomly get it one day. Boring! Way more fun if the characters get it slowly over time.

It would also fix another issue I have which is that the miracle cure shouldn't be free. It should cost Ladybug the same way a lucky charm does. It would be so interesting if she could do it mid-battle, but then also have to recharge, making it way more of a strategic thing than just a final cleanup move. It goes perfectly in line with my preference for Chat Noir having a sister move that is the opposite of the cure. Ladybug can do a wave of Creation, Chat Noir can do a wave of Destruction, but both cost a move so they have to be careful about when and where they use them. That just makes so much more sense lore wise!

[camiffeine]

25

[aliusfrater]

for the life of me i cannot figure out why people are so desperate to apply a version of dean's facade to sam

[undercover-stories]

Imagine Lan zhan falls head over heels at first sight. Against his will of course because one should not bring feelings to work. That would just complicate things. But his heart races in his chest everyday when he hears Wei Ying coming in with his cheerful hello's and personalized "how are you"s because of course he'd know everyone's name, even the janitors.

Lan Zhan is trying so hard not to make eye contact with Wei Ying, who passes by his glass office doors enroute to his own station. He fails everytime because he'd hear that triple tap on glass that makes his eyes shoot up and Lan Zhan doesn't understand how it's been 2 weeks but his heart still feels as if it's lurching out of his chest at the sight of Wei Ying grinning at him. Their eyes lingering maybe a little too long before it ends with a wink as Wei Ying continues on his way.

Lan Zhan knows it's his moral duty to tell Wei Ying the truth even if it would just make things uncomfortable because he'd been brought up to always be honest and Wei Ying has a right to know because more than anything else this is biology. He'll eventually notice anyway. Wei Ying should have the opportunity to change course should he choose. Before he planted roots. A younger more immature version of Lan Zhan might have simply tried his best to stamp out his emotions but he's seen how that had only worsened his brothers entangled misery with his soul mate and how being honest and open about their needs was what allowed them to understand each other and to open both of them up to the possibility of something new. Though polyamory was rare where they live, Lan zhan has never seen Lan Xinchen happier, and that's all he needed to know to realize that maybe his approach to his own soulmate had been wrong. He had dwelled for months on whether to try and make contact with his soulmate. But he had ended it so abruptly years ago. Did he have a right to even do so?

That's when Fate decided to deliver the man right on his doorstep.

It takes several peptalks from his brother before he finally bites the bullet and lays it all out to Wei Ying over a cup of tea one afternoon.

Lan Wangji had expected coldness. An insult perhaps. Maybe even a warm beverage thrown in his face though he can't imagine Wei Ying doing so.

Instead he receives a laugh. Full with mirth but tempered with age.

"I know," Wei Ying tells him. "I've always known."

As Lan Wangji had presumed, it was biology that had given it away. Wei Ying had felt the same static sense of familiarity he did when their eyes touched for the first time. Wei Ying does not react the way Lan Wangji assumed he would. Instead he's told a tale of Wei Ying trying his best not to make things uncomfortable and to let Lan Wangji know through his small but daily routine that he would welcome any attempt to connect should he want to . Tap. Smile. Wink.

But Wei Ying still remembers vividly of Lan Wangjis previous request to keep their connection strictly neutral and he'll respect that but he'd also like it if they could at least be friends.

Something inside Lan Wangji aches in a way he's never felt before. Shouldn't he be grateful that Wei Ying was so understanding? So Lan Wangji nods and tells himself as they part ways that this is best possible outcome.

He realizes quickly that Wei Ying means it when he said he wanted to be friends. He strikes a conversation with him every day. Invites him to lunch together. Gives him a wink and a smile every time they have a work meeting with Su She presenting something benignly stupid. Gives him little trinkets as gifts with no other reason other than he had thought it would brighten up Lan Wangji's day

But it's not hard to tell that Wei Ying is still keeping him at arms length. He talks about his little boy and how smart he is. Talks about his family Wen Qing and Wen Ning, all about how brilliant they are and how content he is now with his small family that he adores with all his heart.

But he never talks about the scars. The dog bite that had left a permanent wrinkly trench on his arm. The elongated scars across his back that had appeared on Lan Zhan's one after the other from as young as 8 years old. The fine line of raised skin along his right abdomen just above his pelvic bone that looked carefully made.

Lan Zhan desperately wants to know. Desperately wants to ask about the hurt he must have endured. Maybe even all by himself. Why hadn't anyone protected him? As reticent as his uncle had been, he'd always made it a point to ensure that he and his brother were safe-guarded from anything that could have caused them harm in any way. How had no one seen the bloody lacerations that would have littered his skin when the marks were made?. Did it help to cover them up with ink? Did it make it easier to forget? All questions lay on the tip of his tongue.

But he doesn't have a right to ask. Not after what he said all those years ago.

Soulmates AU wangxian where their skins reflect. So Lwj has all of Wwx' scars (bite marks from dogs, belt scars from Madam Yu, a surgery from when JC needed a kidney, a burn mark on his chest, etc) and Wwx has... Nothing. Because they have the same callouses from sports and bruises from training but Lwj has no scars nor does he write on himself or accidentally gets ink on his hands. So Wwx thinks he has no soulmate, because even when he writes things to him (Hi! How are you?? WHO are you?? Are you well??? Are you there????) he gets no reply. Lwj does see it, he just knows his parents were soulmates and their relationship was fucked up, and that his uncle's soulmate didn't want him, and that his brother's relationship with his soulmate is stranged because he likes someone else. So he doesn't want a soulmate at all.

Anyways. Shit happens in Wwx's life, he hits rock bottom and starts getting tattoos. Why not? It's not like he's saddling anyone with them.

Cue Lwj watching ink accumulate on his skin while he's working a CORPORATE JOB. His uncle thinks it unprofessional and they are creeping towards the neck and hands.

So he writes to his soulmate to please stop.

His soulmate: so you DO exist uh.

Lwj: I do not want a soulmate. Or tattoos. Please refrain from getting any more and from trying to contact me.

Wwx: ...

Wwx: okay.

Thirteen years later Lan Wanji falls in love with the gorgeous Biomedical Engineer working at his company, Wei Wuxian, and is doing his best to approach this man who has been so very obviously mistreated (Wwx is on his YLZ era with others). They get closer little by little. And then one day they are on a date and Wwx rolls up his sleeves and Lwj comes face to face with a lotus flower sleeve he knows intimately well.

Cue angst.

[kerosene-saint]

I wish people didn't act like dd/lg or abdl were like pedophilia. not even into it and I'm a sfw age regressor (non community due to this problem) but like. ugh. and the problem is my views on it have changed so much over just this year. because guess what. whatever people do in their free time surrounding sex, as long as it is not genuinely illegal, should not fucking matter to you. it is not your fucking business to tell people you think their kink is gross and pedophilic, especially because it's not pedophilia. it is fine. to be uncomfortable with a kink page of a certain kind interacting with you. I get it. and there are some pretty mean people in those communities but guess what? there are mean people in EVERY COMMUNITY. and you do not have to relate that kink to pedophilia to say you'd prefer their kink blogs to not interact with whatever blog you have. but when you say shit like "pedos and also people into ddlg and abdl dni" it's annoying. you could say "ddlg/abdl blogs dni" absolutely fair. but saying don't interact abt an entire group of people of which you do not necessarily have the means of checking everyone for being in that community??? alright then. you have fun in puppy play isn't anything like fucking dogs but ddlg is like fucking children world.

[amethystina]

Hi there <3!

I hope you’re doing well! I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions from the fanfics ask game. Here:

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

18. What’s one of your favorite lines you’ve written in a fic?

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

Happy New Year! May this year bring you success, happiness, and good health. Wishing you and your loved ones a prosperous and joyful 2024!

Hi there, darling! 💜

13. How much planning do you do before writing?

It varies. For shorter fics like oneshots I usually start when I have the concept and a sketchy grasp on what I want to accomplish with it. Maybe I have a couple of scenes in mind and the ending, but it's all pretty undefined still. Since the fic is meant to be short, I don't waste too much time on plotting and planning.

For longer fics, I try to be more careful with my planning. Though "planning" might not be the most accurate term. It sounds way more structured than what I'm actually doing, which is basically just thinking about the fic for a couple of days/weeks/months before finally deciding that I'm ready to start it. I rarely write anything down — like notes and such — but I do spend a little more time trying to figure out the structure and what events I want to occur, as well as the themes and plots to address. Since the story is meant to be longer, I need to make sure that the pacing and plot actually last long enough to make the story plausible. Or that it doesn't drag on forever, for that matter. Both would be undesirable.

But, just like with my endings, I like to keep things pretty open so while I always have a general idea of where I'm going, I try to leave gaps for changes and unexpected bursts of inspiration. This may seem like a bit of a risk but I seem to have an innate ability to gauge pacing and how to plot the actions and events to make the fics rewarding (except, perhaps, for Who Holds the Devil — which I have completely given up on at this point 🤣)

I'm lucky enough that I don't actually have to plan all that much and can still write engaging and well-plotted fics. It's very neat.

18. What’s one of your favourite lines you’ve written in a fic?

I've already gotten this question so I'm taking this as an opportunity to showcase another section of writing I'm very proud of. It's more than one line, I know, but cutting it off wouldn't do it justice. This is from Who Holds the Devil and is, quite possibly, one of the most poetic and pretentious pieces of writing I've ever written but, by god, do I love it:

Something within Ga On resonated with the darkness and secrets that hid at Yo Han's core. Like a constant pull, a taut thread of tension, tying them together. Drawing them closer, making them align. Like a steady hum of rightness that left ripples long after they parted, reverberating inside Ga On until his very essence seemed to change frequency.

Until the only thing that mattered was that resonance — to feel the faint, lingering echoes of Yo Han.

19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.

This one is honestly very tricky because I don't have much to show, I'm afraid. I have many WIPs, yes, but nothing written on the ones I think people are the most interested in. Or nothing finished at least.

But, uh, here's a snippet from that chapter of The Gentle Light that I'm slowly ambling my way through. Because some Yo Han is always nice, I guess?

___

It hadn't been like this before Ga On.

Back then, everything had been easy, Yo Han's goals crystal clear — the road ahead of him winding but carefully mapped. He'd known exactly where he was heading and how to get there. He'd maintained an iron grip on his emotions, never hesitating, never faltering. There had been no room for doubt, let alone gentleness or compassion. Everything had been under his control.

And now it wasn't.

Now, the sight of a couple of withering plants was enough to throw Yo Han off balance, his chest tight with concern. His emotions surged without his consent, the taste of guilt lingering on the back of his tongue, acrid and distracting.

Yo Han was no longer in control.

And he loathed that. Some part of him even loathed Ga On for having taken that control from him. For having such power over Yo Han — power Yo Han couldn't remember giving him. The thought of it made Yo Han's skin crawl, his instincts screaming at him to face the threat, to challenge it, to seize it, to destroy it.

But he couldn't, could he?

Because while Kim Ga On was a threat, he was also what Yo Han wanted most of all.

22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing?

Copy-pasted answer from a previous ask with the same question:

Nine times out of ten, yes. I don't always know the journey there or the exact details of the ending, but I always know what point I want to reach before I start. That said, I'm not against certain things changing as I go along and, more than once, I've tweaked the events of the ending because I ended up exploring something in the middle that I then had to tie into the ending.

So while I know the general idea of what I want, I keep it loose enough that I can change it as I go along. I would feel too hindered if I didn't. The one time I did try to plan it in detail to the very end was my first fanfic The Thunder Moon Chronicles because that's what I was told that I should do. But I found that around 60% of the last instalment had to be altered compared to my original plan, simply because the story had evolved in a way I couldn't predict when I first structured it.

That's not to say that I ever lost track or control of it — I am very much in control the entire time I write — but rather that new and better ideas kept popping up as I was writing it and I wasn't stupid enough to discard them just because they weren't in my original plan. Sometimes, the story just has to be allowed to evolve, otherwise it might feel stilted or stagnate (or at least that's the case for me).

27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why?

The first fic in a new fandom is always nerve-wracking to post. Because I don't know the fandom, don't know if I've gotten the characters or tone right, don't know how it will be received, and don't know if I'll regret sharing it. I never have, though, so, by now, I know that anxiety is just me being silly. Usually, it passes once the first chapter is posted 😆

Sometimes, I also worry if people will even bother to read the fics, especially when they're too niche. I was pretty nervous when I started posting Autonomy, for example. Not only because it was my first fanfic in the Winteriron fandom, but also because it was a super long space opera and I had no idea if anyone would even be interested in it. The fandom was really small at the time so it felt like the story might be too specific. But, as always, I needn't have worried.

Another fic I was kind of nervous to post was Until Death Do Us Unite simply for how utterly unhinged it is. Like, seriously. Hallucinations? Gaslighting? Necrophilia? What even? I'm pretty sure I'm on some sort of list now, after having written that. And I did consider posting it from my secret AO3 account instead but, in the end, I decided I was too proud of the fic to hide it.

And yes, I have a secret AO3 account that I intended to use for fics I didn't want to post under the Amethystina screen name for one reason or another. But, so far, I haven't actually posted anything (so don't worry — there are no hidden fics out there that you've missed 😛). Partly because the fics I planned to post there were never finished, but also because I just... ended up talking myself into posting those that were finished on my main account instead.

We'll see if I ever end up using it. I admit that I have a guilty-pleasure ship that I kind of want to write for right now and, if I did, I might feel inclined to put it on that account instead. But I'm holding back simply because I don't have the time to start new fanfics, let alone in a completely different fandom. Especially a fandom that has enough lore, history, and world-building to fill literal books. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Anyhow! Thank you so much for the ask! I wish you the best possible 2025 as well! Please take care 💜

Fanfic Writer Asks

[navree]

unfortunately the percy jackson show means percy jackson discourse which means i once more have to see dogshit takes about rachel elizabeth dare, who did literally nothing except have a relationship with a boy she liked for a couple months, but the freaks are at it again because there's no worse crime in the world than being a girl getting in the way of a ship for a nanosecond

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

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[skwivr]

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[capricioussun]

US Pap question - Does he like to play pranks/jokes on people? If so what kinds? Does he have an instance where everything turned out perfect for the prank/joke? If not is there another way he likes to mess with people, playfully or not?

I actually already answered this in this post!

But overall, even if not much of a prankster in a traditional sense, he is definitely very playful and silly. I think people have a tendency to overlook how teasing/joking UT Papyrus is, I mean, pretty much every time he and Sans are in a scene together they turn it into a bit, but for some reason a lot of people tend to water it down to Sans being a jokester and Papyrus getting mad at him. They play off of each other!

So in that same vein, I feel like Stretch is more about hitting verbal beats and physical goofs than planning or preparing things usually :*)

[artemx746]

Do people not realise that a person doesn't suddenly gain full maturity and knowledge of everything when they turn 18?

[cheeseknives]

Instagram keeps showing me reels of someone with a handle named something like jamesmaythristtraps and like, they are truly doing gods work but I can't like or comment on these masterpieces because I know what kind of snitch of an app it is 😔