#And people wonder why someone would have a negative opinion of fandoms

[artemx746]

Do people not realise that a person doesn't suddenly gain full maturity and knowledge of everything when they turn 18?

[creatingblackcharacters]

"Calling Out Racists? Help!"

(shout out to the situation sender who's chosen to remain anonymous!)

NOTE: People of color, if you feel that your efforts would be in vain or cause more pain than it's worth, I fully respect not doing it. I've been there, and tbh I usually don't. But white netizens, I expect boots on the ground. Racism festers when no one does anything about it.

So, it's finally happened! You've come face to face with antiblackness in your fandom space. You never thought it could be this bad! Naturally YOU don't condone this behavior, so you take steps to remove yourself from this person.

However! Your friends and other fans are still happily sharing from someone that you KNOW is capable of this. Would they still be comfortable knowing they're yapping amongst racists? And then you wonder- should I tell everyone about them? I mean, surely everyone should know?

Thus we've come to the decision:

The Callout

In my honest opinion, callouts are morally neutral. When used to reveal consistent harmful beliefs, intentions, and behaviors to other people, usually of marginalized identities, I think they're critical. Our safety and humanity matters far more than someone's internet fame. If I can't stop someone from being a racist, I at least don't want their vitriol on my dash, and I ALSO don't want people thinking I agree! Racism shouldn't be tolerated at all, but unfortunately, many an antiblack racist has a popular following and will not be removed. Anything less overt than a slur like the example above is more often than not, not a dealbreaker for many.

On the other hand, when it is maliciously weaponized to drag someone down on nothing but hearsay and rumor, it can be devastating. It has often been used as retaliation against those very same marginalized peoples to shut down discussions of racism and other forms of bigotry. In my opinion, you should not do these sorts of things when you don't have any solid proof or an actual education on what you're talking about. Period.

I say that all to say, be intentional. Use your discernment and some critical thinking.

How Ice Deals With It

Let's say you see something that concerns you. First, you need to pay attention to if other Black fans have noted this person's behavior. Has it been previously noticed, have they seen dogwhistles you've completely missed? Keep in mind as well, antiblackness does not have to come from a white person. Don't let "I'm brown" fool you.

If you're confident: confront the person on the particular issue you've noticed.

‼️‼️‼️ For the maintenance of your mental health, you CANNOT go into this expecting to change someone's mind and behavior. If you do, 9/10 you will face demoralization. You cannot walk into these thinking they care. Most people don't, and will deny the harm of their behavior. It sucks, but it's the truth. Change your perspective. The only goal you need to have is pointing out the harm done, so that this person loses the excuse to be racist out of "ignorance". Once you've spoken up, ball's now in their court.

Confrontation doesn't have to be negative! It can be as simple as "hey, what you said was not okay, here's why, and I hope that you can learn from this to do better for yourself and for your fans." Simple, to the point.

‼️Keep in mind, from Fans of Color: the private confrontation is a sign that we're trying to give you a chance to do right. Everyone's not going to receive that grace, nor do I expect every fan of color to offer it. It might just be up with you and your racism that day. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I would take the chance if offered.‼️

We're going to go two routes here.

1) It works

If it works, then what should come next is 1) a full acknowledgment of the violence and harm, 2) visible steps to ameliorate that harm, and 3) an apology to those harmed.

It doesn't have to be a complex apology (unless the situation itself was that large). But it has to be genuine and the change needs to be seen.

Very often you'll see apologies for antiblackness... To white fans. You cannot apologize for your actions to people who were not harmed by them, because they are not the ones with the right to accept the apology!!!! It's not a real apology. They've just covered for being exposed, is all. Be willing to hold each other accountable!

2) It doesn't work

This might still happen after the "it works", btw! Some people genuinely just want the appearance of progressiveness.

Here's where it gets gritty and you'll experience the most discomfort, I'm just being honest:

They might fucking suck!

They might suck, they might make it a point to share with their followers that you suck, and those same followers might also suck! You know how they sound? Like those people who fought for rapist Brock Turner because "he had a good future and this shouldn't ruin it". Yeah.

Recognize that this backlash you may experience from strangers is not coming just from their need to be entertained, but from a realization that if their fave is antiblack and they agree, then THEY are being antiblack too.

That acute pain you're feeling from this effort- you're now feeling a part of the chronic pain that is being a Black fan! And if you're white, you just temporarily sacrificed your whiteness to defend what was right, and now you are seeing a piece what that whiteness shields you from. Idk how else to put it.

Now what?

Well first, this shouldn't make you go "oh well there's no point in fighting racism bc they're so mean." Why do you want to identify with the people who just acted like that lmao. Antiracism is hard, but the right thing isn't always easy. Stand up and dust yourself off, soldier.

Take the steps to protect yourself. That might be a break from socials to decompress. Block people as necessary, use the tag blocker thing.

Recognize that you are not in the wrong for wanting this harm to be accounted for. If this person didn't want to be seen as a willful racist, they should have chosen to do better. They didn't want to, they chose to triple down on their racism, which they are now aware of doing! They just don't care. And that's not within your control. They wanna be a racist, let them be treated like one!

"Curate your space" as they say, and recognize that antiblackness is going to have you potentially removing folks you thought were cool left and right. You might see some people close to you show their true colors. It's time to make some tough personal decisions. I can't walk you through that. But I don't want to be around people who treat antiblackness with apathy, because birds of a feather... 👀

I obviously didn't cover every single scenario here. And this is only *my* way of dealing with these things (if I do at all, anymore). Some folks may go about it differently. But yeah, in summary, go in to point the racism out, and don't let the response determine your self value. 👍🏾

[qiu-yan]

canon jiang cheng

making my own post instead of reblogging someone else's with my hater commentary. praise my three atoms of emotional maturity.

salt below the cut. the post is long so i can concentrate all my salt into one location.

i just saw a post complaining about jc stans trying to take over the "canon jiang cheng" tag. personally, i do think us stans should just let the haters have that one, since picking fights is just going to cause more trouble for everyone. but also.

there is exactly one reason why this is happening, and it isn't just that jc stans are annoying.

in all honesty, the jiang cheng frequently discussed in the "canon jiang cheng" tag is as much of a fandom invention as the jiang cheng conjured by the most ardent of jc stannies. i have seen the level of analysis typical of the "canon jiang cheng tag," and - to speak frankly - the frequenters of this tag are every bit as prone to wild invention and free flights of fancy as the rest of the fandom. when posts claiming that jiang cheng sold an unwilling jiang yanli to the jins, or that jiang cheng regularly whips jin ling, or that jiang cheng directly killed wei wuxian, are all tagged with "canon jiang cheng," it is safe for anyone with a brain to say that we have in fact moved quite a distance away from canon.

so when these people casually declare their equally fanonical interpretation of a character to be the one and only "canon," from the perspective of the rest of us, all we see is condescension and an entirely undeserved arrogance.

is it any wonder the jc stans are annoyed?

actually, let's take a closer look at what's going on here. even if the "canon jiang cheng" tag was intended at any point in its conception to actually be used for discussion of jiang cheng's canon traits - this is no longer the case. in practice, the "canon jiang cheng" tag is used for jiang cheng bashing. if i went into the "canon jiang cheng" tag today, do you think i'd find posts about jiang cheng's canon height or canon love of dogs, or even screenshots of the mdzs text wherein jiang cheng is mentioned? no. every post i found would be about how jiang cheng sucks - and with wildly varying levels of fidelity to canon, to boot.

if every post in your tag is about how a character sucks, and adherence to canon in said posts is optional, then what you have is not a canon analysis tag. what you have is a character bashing tag.

and yet. if you ask these people why they're tagging their character-bashing as "canon," all you get is wide-eyed innocence. this isn't character bashing, they insist, this is just analysis of his canon traits. this is even when the post in question contradicts canon directly. and when posts that are canonically accurate but not jiang-cheng-negative appear in the "canon jiang cheng" tag? these users so kindly move to correct this behavior: don't you know, they politely inform the offender, that this tag is for canon behavior only? your post about how jiang cheng might have had a shred of love in his heart at one point in his life is not canon.

they want at once the exclusivity and full-agreement nature of a character-bashing tag, and also the veneer of superiority lent by the label "canon." and by claiming the label of "canon" for themselves only, they aim not just to lend credibility to their own opinions, but also to automatically discredit everyone that disagrees with them. they want sole ownership over "canon" - and to declare every other jiang cheng analysis out there, so long as it isn't sufficiently jiang-cheng-negative, as mere fandom invention.

guys. come on. what is this? you do realize that if you tell someone that they can't tag their analysis with "canon," then you're basically telling them that you think they're wrong, don't you? every time you say "oh this post is about canon jiang cheng," you do realize that what you're actually saying is "my analysis is based in canon, while yours is fandom invention" - that what you're actually saying is "i'm right and you're wrong," don't you? if so, own up to it! if you're going to disagree with someone, disagree with them openly! none of this simpering "uwu canon jiang cheng actually" bullshit - say with your full chest that you think that everyone else's takes are shit, and why!

if you're going to be a hater, just own up to it and call yourself a hater! don't be a coward. don't be so condescending and disingenuous with your cowardice, either. why are you emulating the cardboard bullshit version of jin guangyao peddled only by the most deluded of jiggy antis? 

and - for once - recognize that if it is acceptable for you behave in a certain way towards others, then it is also acceptable for others to behave in the same way towards you. if you're going to tag your blatantly canon-violating bullshit with "canon jiang cheng," then you do not have the right to get mad when jc stannies tag their equally canon-violating bullshit with "canon jiang cheng" as well.

[mimikoolover]

I haven't seen any hate or negative comments directly, I've only seen people discuss the negativity and this is not meant to come across defensive but I wanted to write out some of my thoughts cause why not lol

some things that stood out to me about the travel show include confirmation again about the thing I keep saying is that jikook make the effort to understand and care for each other (and as a side note I find it so hilarious that people are so determined to misunderstand them) for example when jimin said he knew it had to be him to make the travel show happen. what this means (I think) is that he pushed the idea forward so that it actually became a reality (with the implication that it would not have been jungkook to do that). it's so funny that people wanna say this means that jungkook doesn't care about jimin when that is not true at all and such a wild thing to imply (if it was true, jimin would know by now and he would not try. also jungkook would keep rejecting jimin's ideas). if you look at it from jungkook's perspective it undoubtedly feels really nice to have someone care this much about you. they know each other well and they care for each other a ton which is just so obvious. jimin had no problem pushing to make it happen and he actually /did/ which says a lot. they know what they need to do for each other and they actually do it which is a massive deal to be quite honest.

I do not agree at all that jungkook was 'off' and the whole thing about people always claiming that he's off around jimin makes me lowkey uncomfortable at this point tbh. for whatever reason people really struggle accepting that jungkook is human and that he doesn't mask his emotions 24/7 and that his emotions fluctuate throughout the day like everyone else's. when he's around jimin people expect him to have one flat emotion (happy) for some reason and also expect that nothing else outside of jimin would affect his emotions somehow. like that's wild to me. and funny in a way cause once again this show has shown that jimin reads jungkook's emotions well and when jungkook gets mad or upset about things like falling off that bleeding kayak he responds in a way that will help jk get over it. you have to be pretty close to someone to be able to do that, js. if he's upset about something and he happens to be around jimin, it's not jimin he's upset with but that is literally what people are saying and that's so beyond ridiculous. again to be around someone you don't have to put up a front for and can say whatever you want and tease each other knowing you won't offend each other fr shows closeness jfc.

personally in the car in episode 1 at the start I see jungkook holding himself back a little but he probably would've preferred to talk more with jimin when they're not being filmed, then they got distracted when they did stuff so he seemed more relaxed after a while. but I think them talking about what happened when they weren't seeing each other etc., I think jungkook would've preferred to discuss that off camera, like talking about missing each other and stuff like that, that he probably wanted to say off cam. even if I completely disregard that opinion, they did not seem awkward to me at all at any point. I think I've been off twitter for so long and have not seen the fandom chatter for so long that it doesn't affect me any longer which feels great but sometimes I really wonder how much people think for themselves vs think based on what they read about other people's perception. and that's funny to say given I just wrote down my own perceptions but really I think people online state and word things as if they were facts and I'm sure that affects a lot of people subconsciously. so all of this is just my opinion but if you actually try to put yourself in jikook's shoes without any preconceived ideas, knowing them to be the friends that they are, it's pretty easy to see how much they care about each other.

[cinnibelle]

I’m going to vent. Sit tight for an artist’s reflection on the acotar fandom!

I was going to use tumblr to strictly post art (at least on my end) and engage with the wonderful ppl here as well. Except what I’ve been seeing as of late is a lot of abuse (across platforms) and it’s very jarring. As an artist, I understand to make the most of your experience in a toxic fandom is to say nothing and do nothing that bothers those a bit **too** passionate about their opinions. I get it, I’m used to being content fodder from other fandoms. So I am not new to this.

But this fandom is *so* toxic that I immediately understood why artists choose to stay neutral or entirely avoid making art for this fandom at all. I have several art friends interested in the books but won’t touch the fandom with a ten foot pole from what they’ve seen. What I’ve personally witnessed the past few months is genuinely disgusting. The only reason I’m here after being FLAMED on twitter is because 1) I began posting BECAUSE people were so kind and encouraging and I don’t want to leave them and the possibility of befriending others 2) I was fully prepared to be dragged for the smallest offense.

I didn’t want to believe people would be downright atrocious to me for Elain, being starborn, holding the sword that reflects her (as I’ve stated when I paralleled quotes) but that’s what they were: awful. And what I got in turn was: why are you victimizing yourself this is what other artists deal with! Ok?? And!? Why is it appropriate AT ALL. Why is it fine for you to do that? I don’t care what anyone ships, why do you feel entitled to comment nastiness under someone’s art. To directly be in their mentions mocking the concept and the way it looks or how you hate the character. It brings me and others joy.. why are you being ruthless? For a fictional character??

It’s too much. And you know, this is my first fandom experience where the shipping is so extreme. I would’ve loved multi shipping as I’ve done it in other fandoms, I really don’t care for what sort of crack ships people make up (though I have my limitations, I think everyone does. “Notp”.) But you know what I DON’T DO as an adult? Ridicule artists for their work. They are providing content FOR FREE. And if they aren’t, they are gifting you with their expertise and talent. You are scaring people away.

I was afraid of joining and just stayed on the sidelines for months just enjoying arts in peace. I only gave in because I showed some friends some of my sketches and they ADORED it. And pleaded that I post. So I did, and I found many others really wanted me to continue posting. So I do. Were it not for the toxicity, I would’ve drawn all types of ships because I’m genuinely someone that does not care about the ship and if it’s canon or endgame or not, if I like the characters and the vibe- cool. Draw it. That’s the beauty of fanart.

But people are acting diabolically UNHINGED over it. And treating artists like they’re players and they’re revoking sponsorships. Fandom should not be a competition. That is exhaustive and tiring. I shouldn’t have to be fearful of the engagements on my posts. I don’t even have 500 followers yet on ANY of my platforms. And still, I am treated like filth. I need people to reflect on their behavior, recognize if they don’t like something ignore it or block it or what have you and be at peace. Stop giving into negativity and using artists as some pawn- they have feelings TOO! And you really turn them off to a character or a ship or a fandom in general with the way you act.

I have my comments off where I can keep them off because I simply don’t want 1) people arguing in my comments and 2) comments that are generally unhelpful or just shaming me for what I post. But twitter I really can’t help what happens. And tumblr too there’s some limits I can take and a filtering system I can take advantage of but even here people lack etiquette. I don’t understand where people get off acting like mean girls over things people made.

This is the most extreme, unhealthy fandom I have ever been in and I’m really not all shocked when I hear an artist quit and doesn’t want to partake. This is not a competition of who has it worse. Stop bullying artists because they don’t make content that pleases you. Just drop it. I can’t believe I am being called TOXIC for defending myself and my art. And I know who these people are, I know exactly the type of content they themselves post and it’s COMEDY to be telling ME I’m toxic for standing up for myself.

Most artists leave or go silent. That’s what you want, right? Or to antagonize them to the point they really lose patience with you. This is me losing patience: a call to being better. Be the change you seek. It’s funny I have people going at me and in their bio it says “ spread kindness not hate” Pardon??

Seriously, I would’ve liked to explore any theory and a variety of arts despite my preferences but the way people act with what I DO put out, I’m just sour. I don’t even want to expand beyond the two characters I really like because I have a headache already with the “you don’t really care about-“ takes that I’ve seen other artists get when they expand what they draw in this fandom.

It shouldn’t offend you that an artist has a preference and wants to share the things that they found intriguing or makes them happy. And if it does, cry about it in private at minimum. Stop dumping your grief onto the artists. That’s all. Maybe then you will see a resurgence of artists that do content for free (and frequently) or a return of artists who left.

[thowawayuntilfurthernotice]

So a Helluva Boss fan blog responded to one of my critical posts regarding the show and unlike other fan responses I’ve gotten in the past year, this one was interesting. 

Not in that it managed to change my opinion about the show’s writing or Viv, but with how long winded it was. Seriously, it was the length of an average YouTube essay script. And while I was skimming through it, I began to wonder “Why is this fandom so defensive?”

Fans arguing about media online isn’t anything new, most fandoms these days are riddled with infighting, shipping discourse and pro shippers vs antis drama. But Viv’s fanbase is different in that they will go above and beyond when it comes to defending the show against criticism. 

I’m often labeled a “Viv anti” by her fans because I’m critical of her and her shows, which is hilarious given that outside of this blog, I rarely (if ever) discuss Viv or her shows. But because I’m critical of Viv and her shows, I’m labeled an “anti” by her fans. 

Now yes, I am aware that the reason why Viv’s fans see all criticism as negative is because Viv herself is incapable of accepting any criticism, but this fandom isn’t just satisfied with telling you that you’re wrong about their favorite show, they’re trying to convince you that Viv’s shows are works of genuine art that cannot be criticized. 

Look, I get people being passionate about the stuff that they like and I totally get criticizing genuine bad takes regarding media, but when you’re sending me an entire essay all because I criticized a dumb demon cartoon, then I’m going to start to question what made you this defensive to begin with. 

And I’m saying all this as someone who likes a lot of universally despised media. I mean, for fuck’s sake, I still watch Rick and Morty. But I never felt the need to defend any of the stuff I like from online criticism because nine times out of ten, said criticism doesn’t ruin my enjoyment of the thing that I like. 

Hell, I’m even critical of the stuff that I like. Criticism isn’t this evil thing that needs to be extinguished whenever it rears its ugly head, it’s just a part of life. 

Nobody likes dealing with criticism or getting criticized, but it’s something we all have to learn to deal with sooner or later. And here’s the thing, I’m not criticizing Viv or her shows in the vain attempt that she might listen to said criticism, it’s clear that she’s incapable of handling criticism. I criticize Viv because it’s legitimately shocking how much stuff people let her get away with. 

If any other creator acted the way she did or did the same things she did, the entire internet would collectively clutch their pearls in real time. But because it’s Viv, people just look the other way. 

Viv’s fanbase is so obsessed with maintaining the “indie darling” narrative that they’re letting Viv get away with so much egregious shit. 

[abby118]

I wanted your opinion on reading Thor's body language on Loki, with the touch of his hand on his neck. I have seen that when the touch is made on the back of the neck (Thor does it slightly more laterally) it is said to mean: I control and tame, the one who touches establishes himself as a guide, often influencing the choices and opinions of others. therefore it does not have a necessarily negative meaning, but it is not exactly a gesture that indicates closeness, friendship or reassurance. in fact it seems to mirror the dynamic we see between thor and loki. what do you think?

Thor is definitely more expressive and specifically more reactive than Loki and that partially comes down to his personality as well as the environment and position he was raised in.

People often wonder about the neck touching and to that I say, what do you do when you're an expressive person that conveys their emotions through touch? You touch someone and you do so in a way that they can notice and feel.

Loki is heavily armoured, as are the majority of Asgard's men (now, we won't count Thor here because he hates wearing his sleeves but generally, he would belong to this category as well). If you touch someone who's wearing layers of leather, fabric, metal and whatever materials make up the armour, they will not feel a thing. That is why he goes for the only spot that's not covered - as the fandom used to call it back in the day, 'the infamous Asgardian "insert blade here" neckline'.

But of course, that is not all, it's never that simple. I assume you mean the scene in The Avengers when they first meet on Midgard so I will talk about that one first.

In this particular instance, I did not read it as anything other than Thor trying desperately to make a point whilst lacking the emotional ability to do so in a way that Loki needed. He's the kind of person that tries to solve the problem first and deal with the aftermant and the emotions later. Hence, why the first thing he said to his brother after not having seen him for a year after his attempted suicide was a question about the tesseract's location. I would argue this doesn't mean Thor did not care; I think he really did but he didn't know how to show it + there was a problem that needed a solution first.

Thor and Loki's personalities are polar opposites; Loki is the strategist, he's perceptive and does have the emotional intelligence Thor lacks. Thor, on the other hand, acts before anything else, he deals with the consequences later, he is not the most observant and he hides behind this cheery mask that is supposed to conceal any signs of vulnerability because in Asgard, that is seen as a major weakness. I'm not even sure he, himself, knows it's a mask; we do see both of them repressing emotions which again, is a result of their world's culture with the added pressure of their position as Asgard's heirs.

So yes, I think he tried to show Loki he wanted him back and that he cared but he completely screwed it up with the way he went about it. I do not blame Loki for how he responded to that in the situation and circumstances he was in.

+ it was very much also a 'I see you‚ look at me‚ I see you' because Thor never looked at him before. He took his presence for granted.

However, fast foreward to Thor The Dark World, we see a clearer display of how Thor's frustration manifests which tends to be aggression and similar to what you're getting at. He is impulsive and has problems dealing with his anger which we already saw in the previous movies. This all culminated in the interaction on the skiff in Svartalfheim but before that, he broke Loki out of prison.

Obviously, he was trying to convince himself (and Loki) that he did not care about him anymore and that his plan was unrelated to their relation. Deep down, both of them knew that was not true but that's a different topic.

When he broke him out and Loki was having his annoying younger sibling moment, Thor shut him up by covering his mouth and slamming him onto the pillar to avoid the two Einherjar seeing them. Some might argue that was normal because he needed him to be quiet fast but I say that was him finding an opportunity to release his frustration with Loki and their relationship in general.

This has been brought up before, but that moment almost looked like kidnapping which, in a way, it was. Loki did agree to go but he was still a prisoner and essentially threatened.

But then again, it is almost childish and reminiscent of an exaggerated version of their relationship. I won't repeat any more of the points on this but I recomment you read this because I agree with some of the things stated here. (screenshotting in case the link breaks)

[brian-kinney-apologist]

hey babe!! i have a qaf question for u

ok so ive heard ppl in this (very small) fandom talk abt hal sparks really negatively either because of his character (understandable, micheal sucks ass) or because of his political views/beliefs/whatevers

i have never understood the second part and was told that u are quite the qaf historian so i was wondering if u could give me a lil summary of what those beliefs/views of his are because i would really like to know!!

ty in advance 🖤

well hello there, nice to know that my reputation in qaf fandom is still alive and well lol

so. here's the thing: if we're talking politics overall he didn't say anything questionable as far as I know (he has a podcast on youtube or smth where he trashes trump and other republican politicians (I'm not american so my knowledge of american politics is pretty basic so don't quote me on this one lol) so it's fine with me lol)

if we're talking the show though 👀💀

he did say some things back in the day that made people dislike him (but mind you now everything is cool between everyone involved in the show at least public wise so we're going to talk about the times when the show was airing and some time after it ended)

1. the most questionable™️ thing that he's ever said was comparing kissing a man (a costar on screen) to kissing a dog and people thought he meant that it was disgusting or smth BUT he did clarify later that people misinterpreted him because he meant that he's not attracted to men so kissing male costars on set during filming did nothing for him (it was an answer to some interviewer's question what it's like to kiss a man so take it as it is 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️)

btw interviewers AND fans had no decorum back in the day asking the whole cast all sorts of personal questions (poor randy still has ptsd bc of this 😭💀)

2. now it's tea time!!!! hal used to have a beef with gale and randy that led to him being hated by their fans. so. before the show aired hal was the most famous actor in the cast (except for sharon gless obviously) and he thought (was promised ?????) that he'd be the lead man™️ of the show. but after qaf aired everyone fell for gale (obviously sorry not sorry lol) because he served and ate everyone up. and also everyone focused on britin. hal didn't like that (considering it was basically gale's and randy's first roles on tv) and he started saying some stuff about them (publicly). for example, he said that actors' work is doing what's written in the script no questions asked. that was a clear dig at gale and randy as they were famous for constantly questioning/criticising the writers/showrunners/producers, disliking their plotlines and basically voicing their opinions on set (they did nothing wrong, should've complained more, look at s5 🥲). also hal did say one time that he would never work with gale again but didn't elaborate why. and as far as I know he did say more shady stuff about gale and randy during different interviews but I don't have any more specific examples (i think he was also constantly pointing out that he's straight while gale didn't say much about his own sexuality and hal was speculating about it). moreover, I remember reading somwhere that hal didn't like people who drank/did drugs bc he himself was against this stuff and gale and peter smoke some weed before some s1 promotion event and hal had a problem with it. the last thing: he also did complain about gale staying in character (whatever that means in regards of gale) during filming but no one else complained so 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️.

(I lied last thing fr fr I wanted to point out that gale and randy NEVER said anything back about hal so that kinda makes you think)

hope this helps, if someone has something to add or wants to correct me, feel free to do so

[jerzwriter]

Mono~poly Chapter 2: Love on Tap

A Tobias x Casey AU - Information and Notes

AU Premise: What happens when something that was supposed to be just fun turns into something real? When true love enters the equation between two people who view the very concept of love in different ways, can it work? In this alternate universe, we'll follow Casey and Tobias (and some others along the way) on their journey, where a happy ending is what both desire, but (as in life) nothing is guaranteed.

Fandom: Open Heart, Choices ** Pairing (This Chapter): Tobias Carrick x Casey MacTavish F!MC Other Characters: Jackie Varma, Ethan Ramsey, Sienna Trinh, OC: Addie Larkin Rating: Teen Words: 5,100

Chapter Summary: Tobias & Casey are reveling in their newfound love as those around them have different reactions to the news. Conversations with Ethan have him coming up with realizations of his own, and Casey sees that she and Tobias still have a lot to learn about each other.

A/N: Wow, I posted that without a chapter summary! lol See, don't do things when tired! No notes this time around, hope to have part 3 up next week! Thank you to all who have read this so far, it's so appreciated! :)

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES INFORMATION MY MAIN MASTERLIST

“You’re out of your fucking mind.”

Standing at the brunch buffet, Jackie scooped a spoonful of scrambled eggs onto her plate as Casey stepped back. Her friend was known for her straightforwardness, which is why she valued her opinions, but her reaction was still surprising.

“This will never work,” Jackie continued. “You’re a smart woman; how do you possibly think it could?”

Casey snatched the last piece of French toast just as Jackie reached for it. She didn’t want French toast, but with her growing annoyance, the petty win offered a sense of satisfaction.

“Thank you, Jackie,” she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I think what you meant to say was, Gee, friend! I’m so happy for you, friend! I can see you’re overjoyed, and that’s wonderful, my friend.”

Jackie sank into her chair and grabbed her fork, stealing the sole piece of French toast from Casey’s plate.

“Stop with the friend shit,” she snapped. “We’re friends because we call each other out on our shit. We’re real... no blowing sunshine up each other’s asses when we’re doing something stupid. That’s the foundation we are built on, and I see no reason to change that now.”

“A little support would be nice...”

“Then I suggest you call Sienna, but make sure to leave out some key details about last night when you do.”

“But I’m not being stupid! Come on! You like Tobias! You play the ‘he’s so irritating’ game, but I’ve seen you together. You welcomed him into our circle. He loves me and treats me like a princess, so why are you so negative about us?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said with a swirl of her fork. “Maybe it’s the conversation you had about offering him a pass to fuck someone else twelve seconds after you exchanged I love yous?”

“Jackie!” Casey snapped, glancing around to ensure no one overheard. “That’s not what happened!”

“It’s not? Because that’s what it sounded like to me.”

“Then I suggest getting your hearing checked because that’s not what I said! I said we’re taking things one day at a time. Neither of us wants to see anyone else right now, but if that changes, we won’t break up or cheat on each other like most people do. We’ll discuss it like adults and see if we can make it work. That’s so horribly immature of me, I can see why you would disapprove!”

Jackie opened her mouth to speak but thought better. With a sigh and a dismissive wave of her hand, she merely replied, “Whatever,” turning Casey’s irritation into ire.

“Really? You know damn well there are many ways to have a relationship! What’s with you! You’re always so open-minded about everything, but when it comes to me, this is how you react!”

“I live in Somerville, Casey! I’m pretty much polyamory adjacent, and you know I have no problem with non-monogamy. The problem is you’re monogamous, and no matter how much you try to tell me that you’d be OK with Tobias telling you he needs next Tuesday free to go fuck that hot nurse he used to hang out with at Kenmore, I know you’re full of shit. So, as your friend, it’s my duty to pull off those rose-colored glasses and make you see the real picture.”

Casey speared a hash brown so forcefully that her fork nearly cracked the plate. “He’s not going to fuck anyone next Tuesday. Did you miss where I said it’s just us?”

“For now,” Jackie emphasized. “It’s just you two, for now. It won’t be easier when you’re together longer, you love him more, you’re planning a future, and then when he tells you he needs... more?”

“Look, I didn’t make any promises outside of I'm willing to try. Obviously, there would be conversations and boundaries. But sex... it’s just sex! If I’m in a loving, happy relationship, why would I throw it away because my partner has a very normal desire to have sex with someone else on occasion?”

Jackie sighed with exasperation. “If you’re cool with it, that’s your choice. But... what if it’s not on occasion? What if he needs two or three nights a week with the side piece. And what if it’s not just sex? What if he falls in love with someone else? Are you willing to share that as well?”

“First, I don’t think the word side piece is used in consensual non-monogamy. Second, he’s 38 years old, and he’s loved one person in his lifetime. ME! So I'm no too concerned about that."

Jackie reached over the table and squeezed her friend's hand, the judgmental look in her eyes softening into one of sympathy. “Casey, we don’t exactly decide who we fall in love with. And when people start bumping uglies... feelings happen. A year ago, you two were just fun, and... now look.”

“Which is why we're taking it day by day.”

“All right,” Jackie resigned. “If this is what you want, I’m happy for you. I just hope you don’t get hurt.”  

“Thank you,” Casey demurred. “... I hope so, too.”

~~~~~

Tobias had an early shift the morning after their big declaration. While he was known for being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as others glowered at him over their first cup of coffee, today, he was especially effervescent,  and that had people talking.

“I’d say he got laid last night,” a passing resident observed. “But I think that’s pretty much every night for him.” “Rumor has it he and MacTavish are official now!” their friend added. “Official? Carrick?” A nearby nurse scoffed. “Look out the window. If there aren't any floods, locusts, and famine, you got your story wrong.”

But the rumor spread like wildfire, and even those who avoided idle gossip found themselves desperate to know the truth. That included Dr. Harper Emery, who went straight to the source for answers. Swinging the door to the diagnostic team’s office open, she found Tobias seated at the conference table, Ethan reviewing files across from him.

“There you are!” Harper exclaimed.

“Dr. Emery,” Tobias chirped. “How can I be of assistance today?”

Ethan raised his eyes with suspicion, for he had also noticed Tobias’s excessive energy this morning but hadn’t questioned it until now. He wasn’t sure if he had come to expect this from his colleague or that he didn’t much care for the reason, and he was leaning toward the latter. Still, when Harper began questioning, Ethan’s attention was piqued.

“You know I’m not one to engage in hospital gossip, but sometimes, it’s so outlandish the scientist in me needs to determine its validity.”

“Oh, really?” Tobias smirked, pushing away from the table like a peacock about to spread its tail. “And how can I assist you with your dilemma?”

“Don’t be coy with me, Carrick. Is it true? Are you off the market?”

“Off the market?” He chuckled. “As of last night, Casey and I are official if that’s what you’re asking.”

Harper shook her head with amazement as Ethan choked on his coffee. Tobias turned to him with concern. “You all right there, buddy?”

“I’m fine,” Ethan insisted. “Something just... went down the wrong way.”

“You could say that again,” Harper grinned.

“So,” Ethan recovered. “You... and Casey... are official?”

“Yep,” Tobias beamed. “We’ve been unofficially official, but last night, we finally said it out loud.”

“And they said it couldn’t happen,” Harper teased. “But I must say, you do look happy! So I’m happy for you.”

“Oh, I'm unabashedly happy,” he insisted. “We both are.”

“Do you mind if I confirm that we part with Casey?” Harper taunted.

“Feel free! I have no doubt she’ll agree.”

Ethan’s lack of response was noticeable, and the stupified doctor felt the weight of his colleagues’ stares as he struggled to speak. “That’s... great news. I suppose... congratulations.”

Ethan quickly pivoted the conversation to the potential achalasia patient admitted late last night. When the discussion ended, Harper excused herself, but not before congratulating Tobias one more time. With her exit, an awkward silence overtook the room, and while Ethan was content to let it linger, Tobias didn't let it go.

“So, are we going to address the elephant in the room,” he asked. “Or are we going to feed it peanuts to keep it quiet?”

“What?” Ethan asked. “You and Casey? I don’t see why we need to discuss your personal life in a work setting.”

“Well, maybe because we all share the same work setting....”

“You make a point. Will you be notifying HR? You know, to ensure everything is on the up and up.”

“Already scheduled,”  Tobias confirmed. “Case and I already made an appointment to speak with the Director tomorrow.”

“Then,” Ethan slid his glasses back on. “It’s taken care of.”

Tobias anxiously rubbed his chin, his leg jiggling as he decided if he should continue.

“Are you alright with this?” he blurted before having the chance to think it entirely through.

Ethan removed his glasses and placed them back on the table; his mood difficult to read. Anger, annoyance, indifference—any would have been fitting. He reclined in his chair, giving careful thought to his words before continuing.

“Tobias... you and Casey are grown adults... and what you do outside of work is none of my concern.”

“I know that which is why I wasn’t asking for your permission. I’m merely asking if you’re OK with this.”

Ethan shrugged with a weary sigh. “Why ask useless questions, Tobias? Would it make a difference if I wasn’t? Would that change anything? If not, this conversation is pointless.”

“Stop the crap, Ethan. It has a purpose. We all work together. I consider you a friend even if you're not fully on board with that idea. But Casey is absolutely your friend – a good friend – and your opinion will matter to her, so it matters to me.”

Ethan smirked. “Don’t worry, Tobias, I’m not going to tell your girlfriend to break up with you.”

He hid it seamlessly, but the word “girlfriend” stuck in Ethan’s throat, and the discomfort lingered throughout the day, no matter how much he tried to wash it away.

Tobias was not one to be easily annoyed, but he was bordering on exasperation. He eyed the door to ensure it was closed before continuing.

“Ethan... I’m going to put my cards on the table. Even if Casey hadn’t shared some of your history with me, it’s the worst-kept secret at Edenbrook. Add in our own history, and....”

“Ancient history,” Ethan interrupted.

“Yes. Yes, it is. But turn on the news, buddy. Ancient history has a way of fucking up current times real good... and that’s something I don’t want to occur here.”

“Don’t worry,” Ethan assured. “Your relationship with Casey will not be impacted by any history with me unless one of you allows it to.”

“All right,” Tobias mumbled, returning to his work. But after a few moments passed, Ethan was compelled to say something more.

“I know you may not believe me, but... I’m happy for you. Both of you.”

“You are? You don’t have to say it if you don’t...”

“I think you know me well enough to know I won't say anything I don’t mean to placate you. It’s a bit awkward, I’ll give you that. But you appear to make one another happy, and when it comes down to it, I’d like to see you both happy.”

Tobias smiled, and the tension that engulfed them moments before all but melted away.

“Thanks, buddy. That... it means a lot to me.”

“I just have one request.”

“Name it.”

“Be good to her. Don’t... don’t hurt her, OK?”

“Hurting Casey is the last thing I want to do,” Tobias assured. “I mean it. I love her. I’ve never loved anyone like this, and I won't do anything stupid to mess it up.”

Ethan did his best to conceal how those words left him stricken, unintentionally pouring salt into wounds most would have believed were long healed.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Ethan smiled so convincingly he could have been nominated for an Oscar. “Now, let’s get back to work before the rest of the team arrives.”

~~~~~

Casey was blow-drying her hair in her tiny bathroom, though attempting to dry her hair would be a more accurate description. Her roommates—and Bryce—continually barging in was one thing. She was a veteran of that and knew how to usher them away until she completed her task. But today was different.

Today, she longed for a secretary to assist with the non-stop barrage of messages she was receiving. She knew the news would travel fast; it was Edenbrook, after all. But she never expected such an enthusiastic reaction. “OMG IS IT TRUE?” texts arrived by the dozen. Those messages were fun, but she would have put them on hold to continue getting ready. But there was no way she was ignoring the messages coming from her new boyfriend. Boyfriend!

With that, Casey returned to being protector of the mirror; Sienna was her first victim.

“Hey! I was here first!”

The diminutive doctor turned with a sly grin. “Sorry. I love you, but you snooze... you lose.”

“Sienna....” Casey wined. “You’re supposed to be the nice one!”

“I am! Relax, I’m just making a braid. I’ll be out of your hair, no pun intended.”

“All right,” Casey smiled.

“You aren't usually this concerned about your appearance when we're just going to Donahue’s,” Sienna teased. “What makes tonight so special?”

“Si...”

“Oh, I know!” she playfully chided. “It’s your big debut as Dr. Mrs. Carrick.”

Sienna underestimated how quickly her friend could maneuver. Within seconds, Casey grabbed the hot pink spray bottle off the counter and took aim.

“HEY!” Sienna protested.

“Sorry, this is how people train their pets. I’m going to try using it on my roommates.”  

 “You know I’m just teasing you,” Sienna giggled.

“I know. I just don’t want you guys scaring him away. I'm his first serious girlfriend, so let’s leave the word ‘wife’ out of conversations. I want to keep him around a little longer.”

“Around him? Of course!” Sienna insisted. “Around you? No freaking way.”

She gestured toward the mirror with a flourish. “Your mirror awaits! I’ll block the others from entering so you can get ready for your debut.”

She embraced Casey warmly before stepping away. “You look so happy!”  

“I am so happy.”

“And it’s well deserved! Tonight's going to be a great night.”

~~~~~

Casey was a ball of nervous energy as they turned onto Donahue’s street. Her skin-tight black satin pants, glittery gold cami, and matching sandals made quite a statement, and the hair she worked so hard to perfect was now a cascade of luscious, blonde waves. Her friends teased, saying she already landed the guy; she could relax now. But they didn't understand; she simply wanted her exterior to reflect how amazing she felt inside, and she nailed it.

Tobias, dressed a bit more casually than his freshly minted significant other was already waiting. He didn’t require much to command attention. His well-worn pale blue jeans and a black t-shirt that perfectly showcased the work he had been doing at the gym worked just fine.

He attracted a crowd wherever he went, and that’s just how he liked it. Sure, he reveled in the attention, but there was much more. Tobias had a unique talent for making each person feel like they were the only one in the room, and he loved making others feel seen. Tonight’s audience was predominantly strangers who had fallen under his spell, but one familiar face sitting perpendicular to him wasn’t nearly as impressed with him.

Addie had been his friend since he arrived in Boston nearly a decade before. One particularly gloomy night, he couldn’t stand the thought of sitting alone in his apartment for a minute longer, so he headed to a neighborhood watering hole not much different than the one they found themselves in tonight. He was seated alone at the bar when the curly-haired blonde rushed in from the rain, promptly slipping on the floor beside him. He helped her up and offered his medical services; she thanked him, then promptly called him a pervert. His raucous laughter made it clear no offense was taken, and, to Addie, that made him worthy of sharing a beer.

Their friendship blossomed effortlessly, and before long, she showed him enough of Boston for him to feel like a native. She introduced him to people she knew, and sometimes they forgot they hadn't been friends forever.

She hailed from a traditional Boston Irish family with whom she was estranged, but she retained some of their best traits. Addie Larkin knew from a young age that she wasn’t made to fit any mold, and she remained true to that, regardless of the price she had to pay. While she didn’t share Tobias’s boisterous personality, she still commanded the attention of a room as well as he did, and when the two were together, a good time was guaranteed.

They talked frequently and cherished each other but never managed to see each other as often as they wished. In fact, she wouldn’t have been at Donahue’s tonight if she hadn’t heard the news. Tobias Carrick had a girlfriend? She wouldn't believe it until she saw it with her own eyes. Ordering another round of drinks, she rolled her eyes at Tobias, who was entertaining the crowd with a story about the two of them breaking into the Franklin Park Zoo after hours.

“You did not!” A fetching young redhead squeaked, attempting to step closer to the handsome doctor.

“Most certainly did, young lady. But I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the mastermind here.”

“Please,” Addie scoffed. “Tobias has a tendency to make me into much more of a legend than I actually am.”

“That is entirely untrue!”

“It is true. Did he tell you why we snuck in? I was obsessed with the ring-tailed lemur, and after way too much bourbon, I convinced myself that the poor little fella was simply crushed because I hadn’t seen him in two weeks! That needed to be rectified immediately. That’s not legendary children,” she informed. “That’s insanity!”

Tobias draped an arm loosely around her shoulder. “As if insanity and being a legend are mutually exclusive! I’m of the belief that you can't be a legend unless you're a little off."

Ethan sauntered in at that very moment, hopping on the barstool next to Tobias.

“If that’s the case, you have exactly what it takes to be a legend, Carrick.”

“You see!” Tobias raised his beer. “I rest my case.”

Addie was already eyeing Ethan, subtly assessing him. Another trait she shared with Tobias... she could size someone up without them being remotely aware… unless she wanted them to be.

“Well, who is this handsome guy?” Addie asked with a smile.

“Handsome? Behind that scowl, maybe,” Tobias tittered. “This is my friend...”

“His boss,” Ethan injected.

“...Ethan. Ethan, this is my friend....”

“...and legend,” she added.

“...Addie.”

The tiny blonde extended a hand, eyes twinkling. “It’s very nice to meet you, Ethan.”

“Likewise,” he simpered, nodding toward her drink. “Could you use a refill?”

“Thank you, but I’m cut off for the night. I'll be driving soon. I’m only staying to meet Tobias’s girlfriend,” she said to the dismay of several people surrounding them. “I refuse to believe it’s true unless I see it with my own eyes.”

“Trust,” Ethan chuckled, motioning toward the bartender for a drink. “We all felt that way. But I can confirm, it’s for real.”

Addie went to respond, but her phone rang in her purse. “Oh, I have to take this,” she said, sliding down from her stool. “I’ll be right back!”

Ethan’s eyes trailed her as she walked away, only to find Tobias staring directly at him when he looked up. Clearing his throat nervously, he decided he had nothing to lose by asking.

“She seems lovely,” Ethan began. “Is she taken?”

“She is,” Tobias shrugged. “But that never seems to stop her, now that I think of it.”  

“Oh, in that case, I’ll pass. The last thing I need is drama.”

“On the contrary,” Tobias smirked. “I think you need more drama, my friend.”

“Sorry about that,” Addie announced upon her return. “I own a store in Cambridge, and my manager’s sort of new. She had a few questions that couldn’t wait.”

“Oh, what kind of a store?” Ethan inquired.

“Bohemian clothing, metaphysical stuff, incense... no offense, I don’t think you’d find it appealing.”

Ethan glared at Tobias, who choked on his beer.

“Hey, T. Will Casey be arriving soon? Alysha's not ready to close the store on her own yet, so I need to head out soon.”

“Affirmative! She’s on her way. She just got delayed by a five roommate pile up in her bathroom. Luckily, she was still able to get dressed, and no injuries were reported.”

“Five roommates!” Addie approved. “My kind of girl! I’m so glad you didn’t end up with one of those gorgeous, snobby assholes you used to date.”

Now, it was Ethan choking on his Scotch. “You know, I like her.”

“Casey is gorgeous,” Tobias corrected. “But I don’t think snobby or asshole remotely describe her.”

He heard the bells on the front door ring, indicating someone had entered, and turned just in time to see Casey appear.

“There’s my girl!” He hollered, turning to Addie with a brilliant smile. “Told you she’s gorgeous!”

“Hey!” Casey beamed as he pulled her close for a tender kiss. When they broke apart, Tobias had a smile that went all the way up to his eyes.

“Can you do me a favor?” He asked.

“Anything.”

He stepped back, obviously assessing the subject, and let out a low growl.

“Can you walk out and come back in? Because I need to watch that again.”

“Tobias,” she giggled. “How about you watch me walk back from the jukebox. Would that do? Besides,” she said, inconspicuously tapping the front of his jeans. “I have a feeling if you watch me too much, you’ll want to usher me right out of here.”

“Out of here or to the coat closet,” he leered while Ethan muttered something unintelligible.

“There’s plenty of time for that later,” Casey insisted. “Tonight, I'm showing off my new boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend,” Tobias grinned, wrapping his hands around her waist and lifting her onto the bar in front of him.

“Tobias, what are you doing?” She squeaked.

“Hey... everyone! Everyone, look over here. I have an announcement to make.”

Ethan dragged a hand down his face. “Jesus Christ!"

“Do you see this beautiful woman?”

“Yeah,” the crowd roared as Casey turned ten shades of crimson.

“This beautiful angel is my girlfriend, and I want all of you SOBs to know it!”

While most of the patrons cheered, there were some shocked faces and a few disapproving scowls within the crowd. But if anyone noticed them, it wasn't Tobias or Casey, who only had eyes for each other's eyes.

Jackie had elbowed her way through the mele and stood next to Tobias. “Aww, kiss her already!”

“Wow, have we turned you into a romantic?” Tobias asked.

“Oh, fuck no! Just do it and get her ass off the bar so I can order a drink!”

Tobias reached up and placed his hand behind Casey's neck, pulling her down for a long, passionate kiss as wolf whistles and cheers filled the room. Even Jackie managed to smile... just a little.

When Casey was back on solid ground, Addie turned to her with a welcoming grin. “All right, I have to ask because I know this man too well. This is for real, right? He didn’t pay you to pull a prank or something.”

 “No,” Casey assured. “This is the real deal.”

“Well, I’m astonished... and so happy... to hear that. I’m Addie,” she said, extending her hand. “Tobias and I go way back, and I had to come see this for myself!”

Casey enthusiastically shook her hand, mentally sifting through past conversations to see if Tobias had ever mentioned Addie, but nothing registered.

“Well, it’s lovely to meet you,” Casey beamed. But Addie raised a brow.

“He’s never mentioned me, has he?” She turned to Tobias and struck his shoulder. “You prick! You have been dating her for a year, and you never told her about me!”

“Well,” he smiled slyly. “We were often preoccupied with other things.”

“For a full year?” Addie bleated before holding up her hand. “Wait, no. Nevermind. It’s you... I’m sure that’s 100% true.”

Casey looped her arm around Tobias’s waist, and he pulled her close.

“In fairness, until last night, we never defined what we were. I’m sure we still have a lot to learn about each other now.”

“Oh, honey!” Addie said, taking Casey’s hand. “I hope I didn’t offend you. This is just how I bust this asshole’s chops.”

A wide grin spread on Casey’s face. “Oh, we’re going to get along just fine.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you,” Addie winked.

“Oh, great. They're already ganging up on me.”

Ethan raised his glass with a smirk. “This is why I avoid relationships.”

“Oh yeah,” Tobias teased. “That’s why!”

“I wish I didn’t have to cut out so early,” Addie sighed. “But I have to go to Cambridge to help my new manager close my shop. But I’m going to see a friend perform at The Burren in Somerville later; why don’t you guys come?”

“We’d love to,” Tobias grinned, turning to Casey. “But we’re a little tied up tonight.”

“Literally or figuratively,” Addie chortled.

“Whatever she’s willing to do,” Tobias shrugged.

 “Ahh, I’m never going to see this man again, am I, Casey?”

“Oh, no!” Casey insisted. “We'll be spending plenty of time together, of course, but our friends matter, too! He’ll still be seeing you. I'll make sure of it.”

“Well, that’s good to know!” Addie stepped off her bar stool, offering Tobias and Casey a quick hug.

“It was lovely meeting you,” she said to Casey, then looked over her shoulder at Ethan. "You too, by the way."

“Likewise," he nodded. Then Addie was out the door.

“I like her,” Casey confirmed.

"Oh, Addie is the best!"

“We’ll have to hang out sometime. Is she seeing anyone?”

“She has a boyfriend, but I’ve only met him once or twice in passing.”

“Well, we’ll have to change that! Maybe we can double date?”

“I don’t know about this,” Tobias said playfully, looking at his watch. “I have a girlfriend for 20 hours, and she’s already controlling my schedule.”

“Oh, fuck you, T!” She laughed as he snarled.

“Gladly!”

“Oh, Christ!” Ethan interrupted. “Are we going to be subjected to this all night?”

Tobias pat his friend on the back. “Nope. With any luck, you’re going to be subjected to this for the rest of your life.”

“I need to find another bar,” Ethan sighed.

“No, you don't,” Casey insisted, grabbing his hand. “Screw that, come and dance with me.”

“Casey, you know I don’t...”

“Dance with me!”

Ethan turned to Tobias, hoping he would save him. But Tobias just smiled as he hopped back on his stool.

“If the lady says dance... dance.”

Casey was having the time of her life on the dancefloor, while poor Ethan looked like a fish out of water. When the lively tune abruptly led into a slow ballad, Ethan thought he found his salvation. He already had one foot off the floor when he said, “I suppose we should sit.”

But Casey wasn’t done. “Ethan, you’re allowed to dance with me. Tobias isn’t going to bite you.”

“Is this where you tell me that’s because he’s saving it to bite you later?”

“No,” she grinned, placing her arm on his shoulder and keeping a friendly distance between them. “But dance with me. It’s the perfect place to have a private conversation in a crowded bar.”  

She could feel the itchy wool of his sweater scratch against her skin as his chest rose and fell, and she had to smile. Tobias and Ethan were only three months apart in age. Tobias always called himself an old man, but Ethan fit the moniker so much more.

“I didn’t realize we had to talk,” he whispered.

“Well, we do. I wanted to let you know that nothing will change between us. I'm dating Tobias, but our friendship remains the same. You still mean just as much to me.”

“Casey, I...”

“Let me finish!” She scolded as his face softened, that smile only she brought out of him spreading on his lips.

“Go on.”

“You always say I'm your favorite mentee, and you continue to be a mentor to me, but that role is secondary. The most important thing is that you're my friend. I know we didn’t end up where we thought we might a few years ago… or maybe we did. Either way, you’re very important to me. Promise me our relationship won’t change.”

Ethan smiled down at her, silently kicking himself for having been such a fool.

"Nothing will change," he muttered. "I promise."

“Good,” she replied, leaning her head on his chest. “Now, I need to hook you up with someone so we can double date.”

“What's your obsession with double dating?" He laughed. "But there is no need. I am fine as I am."

“No, you’re not,” she dismissed. “There’s no chance you and Harper....”

“Casey...”

“All right, what about Addie? She’s hot, and she was totally checking you out.”

“Did you forget Tobias said she has a boyfriend? Though, he also said that wouldn’t be much of a hindrance.”

“Oh?” Casey said. “Would that work for you?"

“Shut up and dance," he smirked.

Casey stepped back and grinned. "How can we keep dancing? The song is over."

“Then... can have one more?”

“Of course," she smiled.

When the song ended, they returned to the bar, where Tobias welcomed her back. The night was full of drinking, laughter, and friends, and the new couple was unable to keep their hands off each other, becoming more affectionate with each drink imbibed.

“Would you two get a fucking room?” Jackie grimaced.

“I’ve got several rooms at my place,” Tobias purred into Casey’s ear. “What do you say? Ready to get out of here?”

Casey didn’t think twice. “Bye, guys!” she yelled as she clutched Tobias’s hand and raced toward the door. “See you soon!”

Once they were gone, Jackie clinked her beer against Ethan’s. The two took a drink and let out simultaneous sighs.

“This is going to be difficult. Isn’t it?” Jackie asked.

"Varma, you have no idea."

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately

[theeeveetamer]

On Loving Thy Neighbor: A long term fan’s perspective

Recent discussion in the tags has gotten me thinking about love, life, and the dynamic of human interaction. And it all brings me back to the same conclusion: fandom, like all things in life, requires a deft touch and an appreciation of nuance.

While it would be easy, even wonderful, if we could all just be kind to each other and have that kindness returned, anyone who has been part of fandom—a part of life in general—knows that it is often not that simple.

Bringing kindness to someone who seeks only to inflict pain on you is not only ineffective, it’s completely masochistic. We understand this when it applies to other areas of life. The solution to queerphobia isn’t “be nicer to the queerphobes” and the solution to sexism isn’t “be nicer to the sexists”. The solution is to tell them to get bent, because they aren’t welcome in the vibrant, beautiful, kind communities we hope to build if they are going to meet us with vitriol and hate. Attempting to placate a queerphobe while building a queer-positive society is like arguing that it’s fine if you just leave just one house in the neighborhood constantly on fire.

Fire does not care about your boundaries. It will spread to the other houses eventually whether you like it or not—whether you intend to let it or not—because that is the nature of fire.

Why, then, do we protect toxic actors in fandom? Why do we wave off a handful of death threats as the same thing as a handful of character or ship opinions? Why do we continue allowing people to wave that kind of behavior off? Why do we think it’s okay to keep the fire?

Simply put, it’s because it takes much less effort to assume "everyone was bad". Figuring out the nuance of a situation is hard; telling everyone to be nicer is easy.

And there the problem lies. There are many situations in which being a little kinder to each other could help. I'm not discounting that. There are also situations where doing so is masochistic and enabling toxicity. Enabled toxicity will never disappear, or quiet. It will only grow. Like fire, there is nothing you can offer it that will stop it from spreading. Pleading with it and offering it sticks to placate it won't stop it from gobbling up your house eventually.

Knowing the difference is where the solution lies. But some people don’t want to do the work to pick apart the nuance of a situation, so they tell you (no matter the context), to just shut up and be nicer. Got death threats against you? Well you said something negative about their favorite character, and you pointing out that they sent you death threats makes them feel bad. See, you both feel bad! So clearly you both must have done something wrong! So maybe you should have just been nicer.

It doesn't matter if your opinions were properly tagged, or if you censored the character's name, or if it was on a blog hidden from searches, or if it was something you sent in a DM one time that got spread around without your knowledge, or if the person who sent you the threats is someone you blocked months ago who shouldn't have been able to see it anyway. You should have anticipated that someone, somewhere in the world, might see it and get mad enough to send you death threats. Take responsibility. Be nicer next time.

If the fire spreads to your house? Well, you shouldn’t have built it so close. You knew the fire was there. It’s your problem. You deal with it.

It rings hollow. “If you were just nicer to your abuser, maybe they wouldn’t have to keep hitting you. Maybe we would all be getting along if you would just shut up about it already.”

No one ever stops to question why the fire is there in the first place, or why people are so desperate to cling to it, or what purpose it could possibly serve when all it ever does is burn down houses.

A harasser, like a fire, is not satisfied with bullying one person, or burning down one house. They will consume everything until nothing is left or they have been put out (sanctioned and excommunicated).

When you claim to take no sides in a situation like this, or you claim both sides are equally bad, you are siding with the toxic actor. You are feeding your fellow fans to the fire in the hopes that you won't be next. You will always be next.

And if there's only a handful of people in your community willing to pick up a bucket and try to fight the fire, while everyone else shrugs and says "just don't build your house too close"? The firefighters will leave, because they know they can't fight it alone, and they know it won't stop, and who wants to live in a house constantly at risk of going up like a tinderbox?

And then, one day, everyone who shrugged and stayed will turn around and wonder why their town is nothing but ashes and cinders. And they will have no one to blame but themselves.

The world only works off of "be kinder" logic if you assume everyone's goal is to get along. The sad truth is, there are always some fires, and their definition of "getting along" includes destruction and pain incompatible with kindness.

I think the only people who truly believe the core of the problem is that everyone "isn't kind enough" are so used to sitting in a burning house that they can no longer smell the smoke.

[velvetvexations]

I'm genuinely trying to not just be constantly negative and starting shit and arguing with people. I feel like even the people I mostly agree with are getting put off by it if they haven't already. I'm very self-conscious about my opinions and how much I talk on a given subject, and I know I do have issues that make my expressed opinions more pointed than necessary.

But like, me jokingly comparing the Bad Kids to the protagonists of 8-Bit Theater is interesting, because I love 8-Bit Theater to death, it's an extremely important work to me, it hurts a lot that I didn't hear about the scriptbook Kickstarter until it was over and I'll always be looking for a pre-owned copy for the rest of my life.

Like, I think the issue isn't that I have a problem with the Bad Kids acting so awfully. That's okay, especially in a comedy. Comedic sociopathy is a totally fine trope and I enjoy it on a regular basis. The issue that gets me is that it's such a hard counter to not only D20's usual tone, but also the way the DM, the players, the narrative itself, and most of all the fandom treat them and their actions.

That's why I soured on Kristen specifically so hard and so fast, because before JY I just thought she was like, A Lot, but not really a big deal and had some good, solid moments in SY (I did not like FY in general for completely unrelated reasons, sadly). But with JY, it was like, right out the gate she's ignoring Cassandra literally half to death, and I wonder if that would have seriously bothered me as much as it did if the fandom wasn't determined to completely excuse her for it in spite of the fact that it was clearly meant to be a personal character flaw and not just "unfortunately mental illness is happening to her".

Even then I was like, hey, I watched those promo videos, this is obviously something that's been planned ahead and will be dealt with. I'm very far from the first person to point out that we're now entering the season finale and chaos has not yet stopped being cute. Partially that in particular may have been hamstrung by the dice rebellion in the mall fight, with the original plan having been for Cassandra to not get separated from Kristen so fast and subsequently unable to have them actively work on their relationship and Kristen's commitment to her. Kristen running for president also likely threw a monkey wrench into decutifying chaos, because there was never any chance of Ally going about that by having Kristen put on a slick suit and say "I need to take this seriously and research school governance and formulate a policy I'll elaborate on in a debate with Kipperlilly". The race for president could only possibly be a bit the second it went to her instead of Riz, not because I don't think Ally could handle that kinna plot if they set their mind to it, Margret Encino would have killed it just as good as Riz, but because it's simply so far from who Kristen Applebees is as a character.

So anyway, I sat there watching this season waiting for Kristen to grow up because I had faith that was going to happen. But lest you think I just hate Kristen and possibly also Ally, these last few weeks they've been the least of the issue.

As hilarious as it was I don't understand how in the good Lord's name we're supposed to care about Oisin "making Adaine think she liked him" by acting a little flustered around her when Fig literally started catfishing Ruben on the first day of school ages before they had any in-character reasons to suspect the Rat Grinders of anything, all so she could...no, really, why the fuck did she do that? What was the impetus for that decision? I cannot emphasize enough how little motivation is given for this course of action:

There is nothing to it except that Emily correctly pegged he'd be an antagonist later. It's like the detectives on Law & Order arresting someone because they recognized the special guest star.

And like, other people, I get it, other people who don't like the direction JY has taken can shrug it off more easily than I can, there are a million reasons to not treat this like the end of the world, but unfortunately my autism gets me stuck on shit and I just cannot reconcile things like this. I cannot take the show seriously and care about the protagonists as people and share joy in their triumphs and sorrow in their failures and ignore something as blatantly breaking the logic as stuff like this.

I'll grant you, okay, Adaine was understandably hurt but neither the Bad Kids nor the Intrepid Heroes were really like "oh now we have to really fucking ruin Oisin for being the worst person alive". The fandom treated it like he Frozen'd her but fandoms are dumb and should not dictate as much of my opinion as they do, I simply cannot fathom the kind of person who'll cry over the deep and traumatic emotional damage Oisin caused Adaine with his missed beer pong shots but doesn't think Fig should be in jail.

That's also not the end of it, though. I could keep going on just about Fig specifically and the fact that she is at least sex crimes-adjacent, not to mention Emily's infantilization of a very autistic-coded character, but I'm trying very hard to not just come off as being like the people who have harassed Emily and Ally over their roleplaying choices in the past. As I keep stressing, I like both of them and especially Emily because I've been a CollegeHumor fan longer than some D20 fans have been alive. I think I actually like Fig more accepting that she kinna canonically sucks and taking her as more a Complicated Woman than someone whose actions I need to reconcile with the expectation of her being better than that, although I know none of it will ever actually be addressed.

So yeah, all the Bad Kids have been fucking weird this season in ways they weren't in SY. Adaine's intense and completely inexplicable loathing of Kipperlilly was funny at first and then increasingly uncomfortable as it fed into the fans wanting to crucify her. Gorgug going full bully was weird but also like, a one line bit, but whatever. Riz stealing Kipperlilly's file was gross and would or SHOULD deeply hurt Jawbone if he ever found out, and you can say they had to do this horribly unethical action in the name of homeland security or whatever, I accept that there were extenuating circumstances, but it's given no thought whatsoever and absolutely no regard is given to the fact that she was trying to address her issues with the closest mental health professional available who Brennan goes out of his way to note is failing her by overcorrecting for his bias towards the BKs.

But as much as I genuinely believe Brennan has been planting seeds the Rat Grinders could be reached, he's not been great here either and like Mice & Murder these things are more on him than any of the players because he's the director here. Like, I'm embarrassed I got snippy with someone who guessed ahead of time that Kipperlilly desecrated the rogue teacher's grave, but nonetheless think it was a weird conclusion to reach and that it's just even more bizarre that it ended up being "right", except the way it's described doesn't even make sense.

Like, the goal was "find the rogue teacher", right? And the rogue teacher is dead. So to me, it certainly seems like bringing a back hoe to the graveyard is one hundred percent the right move! But even if we accept the apparent canonical intent that was Kipperlilly threatening to merely destroy the grave as an act of vandalism rather than retrieve the body, it's like...so what? Literally who cares? As if the Bad Kids or any other adventuring party wouldn't dig up a dead body to cast Speak with Dead or something, as if the foundational Dungeons & Dragons formula wasn't raiding tombs like 19th-century colonial archeologists? And why would any of that be necessary anyway, when Riz found Eugenia by just...walking up to the grave?

But regardless, that, you might say, is a matter of the Rat Grinders being unfairly presented as evil and not the Bad Kids being unfairly presented as good. When it comes to Brennan's part in it, though, these are the same issue, because as the creator and director of every atom of the world outside the PCs, he's just so very willing to go with what the players start to expect. That's fine for a home game, but this is like, a television show that people pay money for, and that's an issue. He'll plant enough seeds of the Rat Grinders being better than they're treated that a chunk of the audience will notice and think the players are being weird about them, but he won't push it further than that and instead just rolls with the players being weird because his first priority is their enjoyment.

Again, fine in a home game, obviously. But it creates this divide between the players and the audience because the world has been crafted in such a way that when the players being weird is noticed it's like, why are they being rewarded for that? Why are they getting zero pushback? Brennan and I both heavily, heavily value collaborative storytelling for good reason, it's why I love TTRPGs and actual plays, but if this were a story told by a single person you could either have the protagonists pick up on those hints, have it be a point that they didn't pick up on them, or just not even include them in the first place.

One of the reasons I really, really like Aabria's DMing, as I've said recently, is that she truly remains firm in her worldbuilding and is not shy about providing realistic consequences or acknowledging PC behavior is dissonant with what's going on around them. And it just makes it super ironic that Kipperlilly's whole deal is correctly identifying the fact that the world is warped around the Bad Kids, and in this season more than ever the DM is like, fully changing reality to accommodate them and giving them plot resolutions on a silver platter, to the point of letting them just full-on take back spells because the target turned out to not be there, which is pretty far beyond the quibble about the climactic move in Calamity's final boss fight.

It's not that I think D20 is 'rigged' exactly, because it's not really a game, or at least it's not really Dungeons & Dragons. This was a revelation I had when I watched Critical Role other than Calamity for the first time and was amazed by how they'd stand around after a battle looting bodies for random magic items. D20 isn't a sandbox TTRPG, it's a very on-rails shooting gallery with roughly as much choice in the narrative as a modern RPG video game, and it has to all wrap within a certain amount of sessions. That's fine, but occasionally it can feel deceptive when we pretend there's much chance of things going radically wrong. One of the reasons I liked the first half of Crown of Candy and all of The Ravening War so much is because they're the only times where failure has really, truly been on the table in an Intrepid Heroes season, but I still liked most of the other Intrepid Hero seasons nonetheless.

This season, I just, I dunno man. I don't believe Ice Feast just accidentally wah wah wah had the effect of completely neutralizing the primary threat of the final boss fight. And Blimeygate, like, I thought it was mostly a fun moment, but it also felt like the most exaggerated-for-marketing-purposes the "got'em!" bits have ever been.

But despite all that, I am still currently capable of enjoying the next season. I'm hoping next week does not make things dramatically worse.

[castlebyersafterdark]

Your post about will wanting mike physically made me wonder if many of the puritan bylers used to be milevens (statistics would suggest yes) who are still struggling to come to terms with what it means for a man to be gay. 

There seems to be a lack of understanding about how boys actually relate to each other in both platonic and romantic contexts. After all, lots of gay media that caters to young teen girls, like heartstopper, is cutesy if not totally sanitised, and if they are basing what byler could be off of what they thought mileven WAS, then it tracks - because mileven was never physical or sexual either. The reasons for this are all to do with mike’s sexuality, but perhaps many people think that mileven WAS real and no longer is, and therefore when mike and will get together it’ll just be another version of that heterosexual romance. 

Ofc this is wrong, not least because mike and el were so young when they were exploring each other even if it was entirely performed rather than genuinely exploratory. but even if mike was exploring a relationship with el for the first time as a 16/17 yr old, it would still manifest differently to one with will because they are both boys. Not to say that love itself or the butterflies you feel are different, but the way that two men will express their love + the fact that mike and will are friends, would obviously change their dynamic. 

Do you think that if mike and el had been shown to check each other out, that people would have a different opinion (not about mike being gay or bi, but about how his and will’s attraction will express itself?) Because you’re right - people do forget that will being gay means he wants to be intimate with men. Is that because they think his attraction is never physically expressed in the show? But then what exactly would that physical attraction look like? Has he not been ogling mike enough for you? Or painting his body in a very intricate ritual of dedication and love? Or is it because Will is just so gosh darn adorable, and they think that someone who has a baby face cannot experience sexual attraction? 

Intriguing premise on multiple fronts!

Re: the former Milevnn scenario - never considered that but at least for some folks in fandom? Maybe! That's an interesting idea, but I do kind of lean towards a lot of the 'puritan' ideas just being a product of today's internet/fandom culture, via this agenda from how gen z seems to have grown up entirely online. And you can't fully blame it on this generation! Those under that mindset didn't inflict it on themselves! (Same vein as "no one is born racist - you are taught to hate"). It's a reaction to a deeper conversation of social media and surveillance culture and this pervasive mindset of thought-crime, etc. I'm toeing the line between genZ/millennial but my fandom experience in the early years was a bit different, where there wasn't as strong of a backlash and negative reaction to sexuality and sex in regards to fandom (people were writing fic about high school age characters doing alllll sorts of stuff and, thinking back, getting a call-out about that content kinda seems unfathomable in retrospect). I genuinely feel it's mostly a culture clash in fandom spaces. But with kindness and re-education and conversation, I think we can either come to agreements and find common ground rather than fighting and call-outs and witch-hunts and all that negativity. I find it more helpful to ask the puritan-mind set folks "why do you feel this way? what about this is so upsetting to you? Have you never really examined your judgement and why it makes you upset?" Learning moments! Kindness and compassion goes a long way in fighting repression and bigotry, and I know that's a hard pill to swallow sometimes in the face of contentiousness.

Re: not understanding the teenage boy experience - another verrrrrrry big factor that I also think simultaneously plays into what's going on, even with those well-intentioned and supportive, just hesitant. It's just the honest truth. Without getting too far into gender politics et. al - yeah, unless you yourself are or were a teenage boy, especially a gay teenage boy - there's a lot of presumption and inference and while mileage does very much vary in personal experience, there are tenets that will factor into an accurate portrayal. Yes - not every teenager is going to have sex. Not every teenager is even interested in sex and many will grow into adults who aren't interested either and that's totally valid and fine. But I do not think that is the case for these specific characters, personally. It's a disservice to sanitize queer sexuality. To put it bluntly, if two teenage boys are dating/have feelings for each other - they're going to want to have sex. Are you kidding me? Teenagerdom? The horniest time of our lives??? Yall. It's going to be awkward and fumbling and exploratory and they won't fully know what they're doing, but these boys will want to experiment and get it on. That's nature, that's biology. It honestly cracks me up when I read some sfw byler fics with heavy make-out scenes and the next moment it's like 'oh we better stop before we get carried away' and I'm like, oh honey. That's not how dicks work. They're already hard and they both know it. They're sixteen. You get hard at a strong breeze sometimes. The love of your young little life has his hands up your shirt and his tongue in your mouth? Boner central. Sorry!!!

Re: a different portrayal of Mike and El - interesting as well. There are so many factors here to consider. Showing Mike and El in more 'intimate' scenarios I don't think really would have that big of a factor in regards to the anti-sex brigade in general. A big portion of the same people who spout off about 'they're minors! we don't need to see sex in media!' would say it whether it's mike and el or mike and will... but there's def a layer of homophobia inherent with mike and will in conjunction with that mindset, even by people who claim to like and support gay ships. The Will dilemma tho. I've been puzzling over the Will dilemma since I stepped into the Byler fandom. And why he, despite being literally "the gay character" - his sexuality is less explored in regard to the most baseline aspects of being gay. Is it infantilizing because he's our cute sweet little victim? Is it because he has yet to actually pursue his love interest in the narrative? I'm still working on pondering this myself!! Because it isn't at all how I viewed his situation or character. But, very interesting points...

[epickiya722]

Kiya, you're the first person who I follow, who are a Yuuji & Sukuna fan but not shipping them. Like, it's so cool....Most JJK fan that I know are people who love either one of them, hate both of them, or love both of them (and must shipping them romantically)....Do you think in the end, Yuuji is the one who will kill Sukuna for good?

Thanks @epickiya722 for sharing your fanfics and many reviews and analysis (especially for BNHA & JJK). Love reading them 💐🌻🌷

I prefer tumblr then twitter. I sometimes tired to see many negative comments around fandom. You're right, Kiya,.there are many people who love to talk negatively about a certain fandom, like if you hate it that much, why not just stop watching or reading them (yes 'a certain fandom' that I mean are BNHA & JJK)......

Is that rare?! To like both characters and not ship them?

Anyways!!

To that question, I do!! I'll be honest, I think out of all the characters, it would make sense if Yuji is the one to land the final attack and ending Sukuna for good. It honestly frightens me a little that this makes it possible that some of the other characters may be put out commission. But! Let's think about it!

I apologize beforehand because I know this is going to get long!

It makes sense to me that Yuji is the one to kill Sukuna because out of the characters, who annoys Sukuna the most? Who does he view now as his "main dish" because of his unbreakable resolve? Yuji Itadori!

This kinda plays into some thoughts of mine I'm working on.

For one, I think of Yuji and Sukuna's relationship as more twisted version of Yugi Muto and Yami Yugi (to an extent, Ryou and Yami Bakura).

A while back, in this post, I talked a little about how JJK share some similarities to YGO, which apparently Gege likes, I don't know, I read a post. I believe so with the references thrown in there and again, similarities that could be coincidences.

Yuji and Yugi have similar names, spiky multicolored hair (black, pink and blond... Yuji used to be blond), they're high school students who wear blue uniforms, raised by their grandfathers who also happen to look like the spirit possessing them in some way, they stick to their morals, got possessed by a spirit with a "King" title through a cursed objects...

Both stories involve something about souls, Kenjaku rocked the Bandit Keith special, in the anime, you can see Gojo hold a DVD that looks like Bonds Beyond Time (I have a post here showing so)...

That's all I can capture, but thinking about all that I wondered "well, how funny it would be if Yuji turns out to be Sukuna's reincarnation? Like his soul reborn just like Yugi is to Yami/Atem?"

If that's the case, then for sure it would be possible for another similarity to be thrown in.

At the end of YGO, guess what happens to Yami and Yugi? Spoiler, Yugi beats Yami in a duel for Yami to pass onto the afterlife.

In a way, it was like he was putting his past self to rest.

So couldn't it be possible for Yuji to do the same to Sukuna? Put the King of Curses to rest as he should be? Sukuna was reawaken into an era he does not belong to. It's something I don't see talked about a lot. A clash of generations.

Think of Gojo and the Higher-Ups. Gojo doesn't like their ways of handling the Jujutsu world. Another example, Kirara's technique is more "new age" which the HUs don't care for.

With Sukuna, in 248, he's used his opponents being people who fight him to prove something or fearing him. Now? Yuji breaks that mold. He's not someone fighting Sukuna to entertain him or even fears him. He's mad at him, he hates him and doesn't seek for his praise or to please him. He has accepted that he is a Jujutsu sorcerer.

Sukuna was used to his "old" ways, that he didn't account for Yuji to come at him with a different or "new" vibe.

So yeah, Yuji being the one to kill Sukuna would be fitting in my opinion. He was created to be Sukuna's vessel, but who says he couldn't also have been created to be Sukuna's threat? I mean, it is funny that Yuji was able to suppress Sukuna with ease.

Okay, that was long! 😆

**

Seriously, it's like do some of these people ever enjoy anything and want to talk about those things?

I get not enjoying something, but the endless cycle of complaining that "this chapter is too short", "that wasn't how I wanted it go", even "break again"!

Like, damn! Is there anything in the chapter you did like? Oh, now writers and artists can't take breaks? Wonder why we have strikes...

I'm not always optimistic, but I like some enjoyment in my life, too. Post some funny memes, write about why you like a character, ramble about a ship fic you like ans trust me you will feel so much better, folks.

Also, thank you, Anon!! 🌸💜💫

I don't think of myself as a bigtime blog with analysis and theory posts, but just someone who likes to share her many thoughts. I don't except anyone to agree with me or anything. I just have thoughts that I just post.

[zaebeecee]

. ..Just curious honey, what exactly *has* that tumblr user petitprincess1 been saying about radiodust, from the time that you've looked through her blog ? You can answer this ask privately if you want to/can/are concerned, but I've had that little annoyance blocked for years now and I think she (fucking *FINALLY!*) blocked me back, so I went searching through her tumblr in a private window with a popblocker to find the shit you were alluding to, but all all could find was fanarts for the ship in like, honestly varying quality ^^; (not surprising given the quality of her blog) and I got bored and and I gave up. ^^' But I just went into the radiodust tags and read a post implying people are being, like, attacked for shipping it now? (NOT saying exclusively by her, apparently just in general ...) BUT if she *DID* have a hand in being petty and attacking people! 👀 Like, I'm weak... I just want the tea and any hot gossip you can give me, if you please! ☕❤️🙏 X.O

Okay! I’m so, so sorry that this might turn into a whole multi-paragraph post, but thinking about my answer to this diverged into larger observations, so I’ll going to answer your questions first and you can dip when I start rambling. Also I hope this answer ends up being satisfactory, lol (and man do I wish I had ☕️ because I am that kind of Aquarius and I love hearing about messy shit I’m not involved in)

First off: I do not, personally, know her. However, I have heard from many, many people (independent of each other and always unprompted) that she’s an incredibly toxic person who runs hate campaigns against people with mildly different opinions or even simply different takes on Hellaverse canon. I’m not going to cast aspersions on her (again, I have no personal experience with her), but I’m always incredibly wary about people that I hear this kind of negative stuff about from this many different sources. (The comment I made about RadioDust regarding her feed was primarily that I can’t see 85% of it because I have RadioApple blocked as a tag and it’s a safe bet that someone who would apparently get mad about a headcanon of Anthony having albinism would probably not like me saying that)

As far as the RadioDust posts go, it’s become a ✨ thing ✨ to harass people who ship that in particular because it’s “not canon”. (I have a pet theory that it’s because RadioDust content was like 70% of what kept the fandom alive between the YouTube pilot and the Prime series) I’ve personally been called a child who doesn’t understand anything for shipping them by someone I don’t know, which is very funny to me, and I watched a RadioDust fan group on Facebook of all places repeatedly getting spammed with other ships (you probably know the ones) and pretty nasty messages. I couldn’t say whether this is happening to other ships, so I’m not trying to claim this is unique, but it absolutely is a problem that some of the more vocal/public shippers are facing. I’ve heard that she was one of the “they’re not canon and you’re bad for shipping them” people, but I don’t have proof of that, so I’m not going to claim it as fact.

If you’re wondering why I was talking about her in the first place if I don’t know her, it’s because I’ve heard so much about her being downright awful to other people, and this is where my tangent kind of starts. First, I do intend to fire back if she does start shit, but besides that, I’ve always found “well they’ve never done anything to ME so I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt” to be a shitty thing to say when you’re getting multiple sources talking about them.

I have an incredibly low tolerance for fandom drama. I mean, I’ve been in fandoms since ff.net launched. I have dealt with so many toxic fandoms over the years (fucking Naruto) and I just don’t fuck with that anymore. There’s a reason that, despite doing character and show analysis posts, I’ve never done one on one of the most popular ships in the fandom, and that’s because it would be unfavorable (because I find it to be built entirely on negative stereotypes and positive homophobia). I don’t want people to misconstrue an analysis as shaming people for liking the ship, so I’ve just stayed out of it to avoid creating drama.

Now, this fandom in particular does have an issue of small pockets of very vocal, hypocritical, toxic people. An example of this would be the people who will call others aphobic for depicting Alastor as anything other than a sex and romance-repulsed aroace (despite the fact that Viv said shipping him was fine, meaning he isn’t canonically repulsed), but don’t say shit to the people who still draw human Alastor white (despite the fact that he has been confirmed not just black, but specifically Creole). And while it is true that, yes, I don’t like fandom drama, I have absolutely zero problem getting involved when others refuse to just let people be fans if they aren’t “fandoming correctly”.

I don’t have a punchy closer for this, something that ties it together and makes it seem less like an old man yelling at clouds, but I do want to say I’m not looking to start a fight or for other people to do the same. Again, drama sucks, but I also won’t ignore claims of toxic behavior just because I personally haven’t suffered from it (I’m not trying to be that kind of man). I’m sure there are people who know a lot more than I do, though, it sounds like the people who’ve blocked her could form an entire support group over it.

[beesmygod]

Just wondering, do you consider it wasteful to do any fanfic/derivative work, or simply the ones that are attempting to brute force a preferable outcome to an unsatisfying story? Like, would you consider it the same waste if LR was a spin-off comic about uhhh [idk much about LO bare with me] filling in that decade time skip, rather than a beat for beat rewrite? Again, hope my tone isnt giving hostile vibes, as im genuinely curious your opinion. Thanks!

no not at all, even though i have been hostile to some people in a "come the fuck on" way, i appreciate having a back and forth with someone where we both whittle something down until we hit a nugget of understanding that helps us understand. i dont know. something more. anyway:

i dont think wasteful is the right word but i think i'm WAY more glib about it than the vast majority of people in fandom spaces or artistic spaces. im 33 and been online since i was in the 4th grade, so my experience with fanfiction has been VAST and varied but i have never cared for the medium much at all. i was, growing up, an outside hostile observer who was part of the people who would "spork" (I KNOOOWWWWW) fanfictions of especially dubious nature and tear it to shreds. however, it was understood that these extreme examples were not representative of the majority of the contributions to the form, but i do not have the same sort of baseline respect for the craft it has been trying to demand for the past decade or so. it is forever going to be tied with its origins with the worst of the worst by means of negative psychological association. many such cases

WHATEVER anyway, i think its less about the fact that it's derivative work (lots of derivative work can be incredible) but that fact that its a derivative work without a purpose. like i'm not sure what it's supposed to add to the conversation except that this one person thinks that they can make a bad comic a little bit better. which like, okay. get in line pall! most people could! what are they contributing to a grander discussion? what is this comic supposed to make me, the reader, think? literally the only answer i can think of is "i am doing better!"

even something that fills in a time skip (lol i forgot abt that) struggles under the weight of the same purposelessness. the question that should be asked is "but why?"; what is the purpose of it? what is the point? is it fun? that's fine, but audiences who are external to the creation process are probably not going to get the same fun from reading it as the artist did making it.

[iwonderwh0]

I've been replaying dbh lately, and: I unlocked Amanda's profile in the gallery and realized I'd forgotten one important detail. That Amanda has the authority and ability to remotely deactive Connor, at any second. The only reason she didn't during the escape of Jericho or Night of the Soul was because he was still UsefulTM. As she could assume control of him anytime, anywhere, but needed him to ingratiate himself to the Jericrew and get close to them before murdering Markus on live TV (and i wondered about that for a while - why wait, why not just kill Markus in the church, or hell, even immediately after deviating at Jerico - but i suppose it's a much bigger negative impact on public opinion to watch an android kill the deviant leader live. Their support is still tenuous, at best. This would likely tip plenty of people into believing that deviants are, in fact, unstable, unpredictable, and dangerous.)

But also...the fact that Amanda could have Thanos snapped Connor at any moment and he would have crumpled to the ground like an electrocuted pigeon. I just feel like, that as a fandom, we don't talk about this aspect of her nearly enough.

Imagine, if you will, Hank waiting for Connor at ass fucking o'clock (for him), freezing his ass off and hoping and waiting Connor wasn't hurt, wasn't laying dead in a ditch, or burning in an alley somewhere- and then he turns and Connor's there, missing a tie, but still with that goofy Superman curl and goofy smile. He's tugging the kid into a hug by the neck before he can think twice about it, and he thinks that maybe. Just for a split second. That maybe the world ain't all bad.

Connor's nearly melted into the embrace, lax (as much as THE stiffest android he's ever met, anyways) as can be, except he suddenly tenses in Hank's arms. Hank leans back, putting distance between them, just enough to look Connor in the eye, except the deviant isn't looking at him. Instead, his wine dark eyes are fixated ahead, wide, blank, and unseeing.

"Connor? You alright?" He asks nervously.

Connor does not reply, or tilt his head, or do any of the other 300 little idle animations he does. His LED is a steady, unblinking blue. He doesn't even seem to be simulating breathing.

"Connor? Hey, talk to me, kid." He knows his voice is edging near panic, but he doesn't care, giving Connor's shoulder a little jostle.

Connor remains unresponsive for 4 seconds, and then-

his LED turns a bright, burning red, his eyes roll to the back of his head, eyelids flickering up a storm, and he starts falling backwards. Hank watches it all as if in slow motion.

"Whoa, hey, hey, hey-" He yanks Connor against him, lowering him until he's cradled almost in Hank's lap. "Con, help me, what do i gotta do? I know fuck all about androids, so you're gonna have to tell me what to do here." He knows holding a hand to an android's forehead won't tell him anything, that they don't even get sick or cold, but he does it anyways just to have something to do with his hands. "I can't-fuck, just please, be ok. Don't do this to me, please-"

Connor's red LED flickers, once, twice, then holds steady for a moment before dimming slowly to nothing. Empty, grey, and lifeless.

Somewhere, far away from the icy slush and the screams bouncing off the detroit streets, Amanda snips another dead rose.

Damm, okay!

Yeah, I think shooting the deviant leader on live tv during the victory speech is surely much more impactful “last twist” than doing it in the middle off some mess where someone else could still theoretically take over the leader role (although it’s not like Connor didn’t try)

So you want that hug scene but with drama? Can’t blame you, haha

Although I’m a huge fun of something like this happening right then and where Connor resisted shooting Markus, once again during the speechtime. I mean, him shooting himself regardless of whetger or not there are Markus. Because if he can resist Amanda when Markus is alive, it’s not entirely sure why isn’t it an option when he’s alone, so shooting himself in both scenarios kinda make sense imo