#i should test if this is still in game its so silly...

[mercless]

[cloudcountry]

SUMMARY: you test just how pink you can make idia's hair.

COMMENTS: happy birthday @edith-is-a-cat!! i wrote this while listening to one of the sappiest songs i have ever heard in my life so if it reads Sappy THATS WHY....i hope its a good birthday gift ehehe <3333 AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY MAKE SELF SHIP ART

His hair is already pink.

“Idia, love, you’re not going to last long if you keep getting embarrassed.” you giggle, gazing at him adoringly, “Just let me hold you for a little while.”

“Only because it’s your birthday.” he mumbles, arms circling around your waist. He buries his face into your shoulder as if to hide, even though he doesn’t need to.

You drag him out of the shell he’s built around himself, pressing kisses to his temple until he slowly shows you his face, cheeks burning as bright as his hair. You coax him closer, gently leading him hand in hand toward the idea that he is loved, that he is cherished. Your fingers trace his cheekbones and the curve of his jaw, down to his collarbone. You laugh quietly as he squirms when you touch his neck—he’s ticklish, you know this, but you’re also a little bit mean.

The kiss you place on his collarbone is full of reverence. It makes the pink spread closer towards his scalp.

You’ve almost forgotten the purpose of this little game, it’s easy to forget when you’re sitting in his lap as his fingers flex against your waist, his hair fanning out around you like a giant halo and a pair of angel’s wings, enveloping you in their warmth and the promise of forever.

“You’re an angel, Idia.” you breathe, pulling away to admire him.

He freezes when he sees your face, eyelashes fluttering as his lips part. He's so beautiful, really. You could stare at him forever.

“Wh...!? Why are you crying!?” he scrambles to hold your face, frantically swiping the tears away with his thumbs.

You choke back a laugh that sounds more like a sob—how did you not realize? How is it so easy to forget everything but him when he’s near?

“I guess I just love you too much.” you smile, tears rolling down your face, “I love you so much.”

The pink flames reach his scalp.

“That’s such a silly reason.” he says weakly, hands still pressed to your cheeks.

“But it’s mine.” you say back, placing your hands over his, “It’s my reason.”

[leikeliscomet]

(Reposting from twitter)

My POV as a Black fan that thinks Dot and Bubble's racism commentary is trash

Rewatched Dot and Bubble and I'm gonna break down from my POV as a Black fan why this episode didn't work for me & why it's an awful racism commentary. Long arse post incoming:

The whole "You should've noticed the cast was all white except for fifteen ha your bias is showing" doesn't work for a show that's been predominantly white for 60+ years. D&B casting has been the default for most of the show so its not abnormal enough to be a racial litmus test. An example is the Matt Smith era The only reoccurring character of colour in s5 (2+ appearances) is Liz 10. Artie n Angie in s7. 0 in s6. RTD's own era isn't fully safe either. For many eps Martha or Mickey are the *only* Black characters. Most POC are side characters or extras.

White fans should be aware of the predominantly white casting of the show but this late in the game feels cheap. Most of the show has gone through 100% white episodes including fan faves and it was never an issue back then bc it was beneficial. This is so hollow. Representing racists as cartoon caricatures SEVERLY underestimates the danger of white supremacy irl. White supremacy is system designed and constructed and rebranded over centuries. It is not accidental. People aren't racist bc they don't know they're racist because they *do* They know the system that oppresses POC, Black people especially, benefits them socially and financially and that is why they participate. Its not stupidity it's intention. That should've been the Finetime core not Lindy goofing around bc the arrows are gone or some shit.

Human Nature showed us racist young people that exercised this power bc they knew this. They may be children but they are still dangerous bc of their views. Martha knew this. The silly tech obsessed gen z angle erases this danger and that of actual gen z white supremacy

Instead of the camp goofy tone we could've gotten a serious focused episode. The slugs and millenial/gen z social media silly distracts from what could've been the main theme of colonisation instead of saving it for 10 mins of exposition at the end & scattering microaggressions. Saving Fifteen's racism scene for a goofy episode was a horrid idea. Spending 30 mins on representing racism as silliness then giving a dramatic dangerous score is the definition of tonal whiplash. Representing his oppressor as a blonde bimbo again does not take this seriously. Fifteen went to 1960s BRITAIN & got through it unscathed. Finetime is a fictional futuristic land but the racism of 1960s Britain was real. If anytime was right it could've been Devil's Chord. Distancing yourself from a panto villain is easy but addressing your history is hard.

The scene itself is incredibly performed so I'll give Ncuti his flowers but what he used this skill for could've been so much more. Having his FIRST SCENE begging to save a racist is disgusting. It isn't Black people's responsibility to show compassion to people that want us dead. Yes the Doctor helps the baddies bc they care. But they're aren't ignorant to prejudice. The liberal anti racism of who is so jarring and why I still think Thin Ice is performative. When white people are angry at injustice it's radical. When it's Black people we're aggressive.

Respectability politics is a tool of white supremacy. That if one pleads and is nice enough they can earn liberation. What would white fans think of Fifteen if he DIDN'T beg Lindy? If your allyship with Black people depends on showing kindness to racists you are NOT an ally.

Next up is Ricky. It was established ALL Finetime citizens have white supremacist views yet Ricky September stans refuse to see him in any negative light. Just like Joan Redfern white dw fans refuse to see racism if a character is likeable. If nice guy Ricky's a racist, then anyone no matter the niceness can be racist too and that's a pill white fans aren't ready to swallow. If racism is systemic and not about individual character, then what's keeping them safe? What happens when YOU are under the microscope.

THIS is why we NEED Black writers in Doctor Who. The nuances, depth and complexity of the Black experience can only be told at it's best by Black creatives and not guessed, assumed or spoken over by white fans and white writers. It's okay to put ego aside and say you don't get it.

"Im white but I loved the Doctor's reaction" "I'm white and i thought the racism commentary was great" "I'm white but i-" Yet again, we have to sit through another round of white and non Black fans of colour dictating Black representation for us. I'm so fucking tired man. AGAIN IM YELLING FROM MY HILLTOP TO WATCH SHOWS BY BLACK WRITERS. Almost EVERY single theme in Dot and Bubble and frankly most of the show has been done WAY better in other media. RTD is not the authority on Black stories. We are. Always have been and always will.

Tl;dr Dot and Bubble is an unserious and tacky racism commentary. It's core message is drowned by more RTD Who camp. Don't tell me this episode was good at representating my own experience. It wasn't. S15 having Black writers isn't a need it's a must. Goodbye.

Reblog this version pls

[penkura]

Merry Christmas, Ace

Summary: You and Ace enjoy the morning of your first Christmas married.

Note: I hope you all enjoyed these Christmas themed fics! :) I'm taking a break until the new year, so I'll see you guys then! 💚 Small note warning for pregnancy but that's it. :)

Ace has this unfounded fear that one day, he’s going to wake up and you’ll be gone. He worries you’ll decide you don’t want to he with him anymore, too much emotional baggage and daddy issues with your husband to bother anymore, and you’ll just up and leave him someday. He knows it’s silly, you wouldn’t have married him if you were going to leave so easily, you’ve told him that before when he’s spoken this worry to you.

Still though, it’s always there when he wakes in the morning, even on Christmas when he sees you still fast asleep beside him, breathing a sigh of relief to see you. He stays and watches you sleep for a few minutes, still unable to believe this is real and you married him.

You’re really the best thing in his life, apart from his brothers of course.

On days like today, where he wakes before you, Ace will stay up and watch you sleep for a bit, sometimes he thinks you’ll wake up and be weirded out by it, but when he’s woken up to you do the same, or kissing his freckles to wake him, he thinks you probably don’t mind if he watches you for a few minutes. Especially so when you do wake up, seeing Ace wide awake, and giving him a sleepy smile that he returns before you throw an arm across his chest and bury your face in his neck, making him laugh.

“Good morning, [Y/N].”

“G’morning…” Smiling again, you place a kiss on Ace’s cheek, “Merry Christmas~”

“Merry Christmas, babe. Wanna get up and open gifts?”

“Mm…sure!”

You both still take a bit to get all together, it’s just the two of you this morning, Luffy and Sabo will come by later for the rest of the holiday and their own gifts from you. Its nice to have them come by often, for Ace to see his brothers whenever he can. Luffy and Sabo have already spent many nights in your house having sleepovers, they wants things to stay as normal as they can now that you two are married and you don’t mind when they stay over, so long as the three brothers aren’t loud.

Once you’ve gotten up and to your living room, though it’s not a lot, you and Ace go back and forth with the few gifts you’ve gotten each other. Its mostly clothing items you’ve both wanted and a few fun things like games, but it’s still nice to know you both pay attention to what the other wants or needs, you’re grateful that Ace pays attention to you.

“Well,” Ace sighs and brings you over to him, kissing the top of your head, “Guess we gotta clean up before Sabo and Luffy get here.”

“Mm-hm,” When Ace moves to get up, you stop him with a smile, “Actually…I have one more gift for you.”

“What? What do you mean?”

Ace is confused while you reach over the end of the couch, pulling out another rectangular box and passing it over to him once you sit back down. He’s not sure what you’ve done, but the label that reads ‘To: Daddy, From: Mommy’ makes his breath catch in his throat as he snaps his head over to you.

“Are…what…you’re—”

“You should open it, Ace.”

The grin you have while Ace looks from you to the gift and back with wide eyes makes his heart rate pick up, especially with the tears he can see forming in your eyes when he finally opens it. He starts to tear up too, seeing an ultrasound image, baby onesies,  and the positive pregnancy test in the box.

“Are, are you,” he’s trying so hard not to cry but Ace starts to pull you closer to him, bringing you into his lap, “Are you sure? You’re…you’re pregnant?”

“Mm-hm,” you wrap your arms around his neck and let Ace bury his face in your shoulder, you know he’s happy just in shock, “When I had the flu earlier this month and went to the doctor, he ran several tests to figure out what was making me so sick and, well, it was the flu but also our baby. I was going to wait for your birthday next week to tell you…but I just couldn’t anymore.”

You let him have the few minutes he needs to let the information settle, but once it does, Ace quickly stands up still holding you, and spins you just a bit with a laugh before setting you down. He takes your face in his hands, grinning away as he rubs his nose against yours before kissing you. Its unexpected, you’ve not even been married a year, but he’s just so happy.

“A baby! Our baby!! This is…this is the best gift ever!”

Ace hugs you tight while you let out a relieved breath, glad he’s happy about your pregnancy and that you’ll be parents in a few months. You know he’ll want to know more later, like your due date and anything your doctor told you, but for now, you’ll enjoy the happiness radiating off him as he holds you, and how you spend the rest of your morning lying on the couch with Ace wrapped around your middle, his head against your stomach as he tries to talk to your baby already, telling them he’s excited to meet them, how Luffy and Sabo will be happy too, and you’ll be the best mom ever, he’s sure of it.

You hug Ace close to you, kissing the top of his head and smiling away yourself.

“Merry Christmas, Ace.”

[luvzshy]

can you do gf!billie and reader going on live together and its just cute and funny fluff💖

a/: awh i love this, so cutie 🙁💕

Drive-Thru Moments

The phone is propped up on the dashboard, the two of you waiting in a slow-moving drive-thru line for burgers and fries. Billie’s hand is resting on the gear shift, and your legs are casually stretched out as you scroll through comments on your phone.

“Alright, you ready?” you ask with a grin, already hovering over the button to start the live.

Billie glances over at you, smirking. “Let’s do it. But don’t roast me when I mess up the order.”

You hit the button, and in seconds, the comments start to flood in. “Hey, guys!” you greet, waving at the camera. Billie leans in slightly, adjusting her hair and giving a small wave. “We’re currently stuck in this drive-thru getting food because, well, we’re hungry.”

“And the line is insanely long,” Billie adds, drumming her fingers on the wheel. “So, we figured, why not hang out with you guys for a bit?”

The comments start flying in, some asking what you’re ordering, others hyped to see the two of you live together. Billie squints at the screen to read the comments. “Okay, someone asked what we ordered. Uh, burgers, fries, and milkshakes, right?”

“Yep,” you confirm with a laugh, pointing at Billie. “She went for the double cheeseburger, and I’m keeping it classic with the single.”

Billie nods. “And extra fries for you, of course.”

“As always,” you say, reaching over to snag a fry from the bag you’ve already half-eaten while waiting in line.

Another comment catches your attention. “Someone said we should do a ‘who knows each other better’ challenge,” you read aloud, glancing at Billie with a raised eyebrow. “Wanna test our knowledge?”

Billie chuckles, sitting up straighter. “Oh, I got this. I know you better than anyone.”

“Yeah, okay, we’ll see,” you tease, rolling your eyes playfully.

Billie looks at the screen, reading out the first question that pops up. “Alright, ‘What’s her favorite thing to do on a lazy day?’” She turns to you, confidently answering. “Easy. Movie marathon, snacks all day, and no interruptions.”

“Okay, okay,” you say, nodding in approval. “I’ll give you that one. Now, for you…” You pause, pretending to think it over. “Video games or lying in bed listening to music for hours.”

Billie points at you with a grin. “Spot on. Next question!”

The live continues with you two bouncing back and forth between questions, playfully teasing each other and reading out comments. The next question comes in: ‘Who’s more likely to forget something important?’

You immediately point at Billie. “Oh, 100% you! Do we need to talk about the time you forgot to bring your ID to the airport?”

Billie groans, her face scrunching up in embarrassment. “Ugh, that was one time! And I had to go all the way back home to get it while you just sat there eating snacks, not even stressing.”

“Because I know you!” you laugh. “I knew you’d figure it out, but still—definitely you.”

Billie waves her hand dismissively, but she’s laughing too. “Okay, okay, fine. I forget things. Your turn now.”

More questions come in, one asking who’s more likely to start an argument over something silly. You laugh before answering, “Probably me. I mean, have you met me? I get fired up over the smallest things sometimes.”

Billie nods, smirking. “Yep. But it’s cute, so it’s fine.”

As the live continues, the car moves up in line, and Billie starts getting ready to order. She’s about to roll down the window when you glance at the comments again. “Wait! Someone asked if we’ve ever had a disastrous cooking experience together.”

Billie bursts out laughing, almost forgetting she’s next in line. “Oh my God, do we tell them about the pancakes?”

You shake your head, already cringing. “Okay, so we thought we’d make breakfast together one morning, right? Easy, pancakes and bacon. But someone…” you give Billie a side-eye, “… decided to eyeball the measurements for the batter.”

“I thought I knew what I was doing!” Billie defends herself, still laughing. “I had no idea pancakes could come out that thin. Like, they were almost see-through.”

“They were basically crepes,” you add, laughing too. “And the bacon was burnt because we got distracted.”

“By playing with the dog,” Billie finishes, nodding. “So, yeah, don’t let us near a kitchen unless you want a breakfast disaster.”

Finally, it’s your turn to order, and Billie rolls down the window. She gets through the order perfectly, even remembering your extra fries, and as she pulls forward, you give her a dramatic round of applause.

“Redemption,” you say, grinning. “No mistakes this time.”

Billie leans over, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek. “Told you I got this.”

With the food in hand and the live still going, the two of you settle in to eat while chatting more casually about upcoming plans and reading random comments. At one point, someone asks if you have any plans for a road trip, and Billie smiles. “We’ve talked about it, maybe doing a little getaway soon. Nothing too far, but yeah, we’re thinking about it.”

“Probably somewhere with no distractions,” you add, popping a fry into your mouth. “Just us, good music, and a whole lot of snacks.”

As the live winds down, Billie glances at the screen and gives a little wave. “Alright, guys, we’re gonna head out and eat before everything gets cold, but thanks for hanging out with us!”

“Yeah, you guys are the best,” you add, blowing a quick kiss to the camera. “We’ll do this again soon. Maybe next time with less drive-thru and more… whatever this chaos is.”

With one last laugh, Billie ends the live, and the two of you sit back in the car, smiling at each other. You grab a fry, holding it up to her. “Not bad, huh?”

Billie bites the fry you’re holding and grins. “We’re kinda fun together, aren’t we?”

You laugh, leaning over to kiss her. “Totally.”

[spacey-xannabelle]

[Template]

2024 Art Summary!

Artist notes/ramblings under the cut

January - March: A lot of the art I did during this time was mostly doodles and sketches that I didn't post anywhere, but during this time I did start planning the test comic project for my story, Startrails!

April: Only art that I posted during this was the art of one of my Startrails characters, Mira.

May: I finished the test comic during this! It was a great practice to do and it gave me a lot of insight on what part of the comic process I should work on so it flows more smoothly for myself. And it was really cool to see my two main characters in a comic format qvq

June: On June, I wanted to do a bigger illustration to practice backgrounds more. And since I was in a Splatoon mood at the time, I went and drew a nice little scene of some inklings and octolings hanging out in the locker room before a match.

July: Artfight month!! I was team Stardust this year, and the art featured in this art summary was a character by @/artisticdragons. I'm honestly proud I drew as much as I did for artfight!

August: Earlier in January, I had started and finished playing Outer WIlds (along with the DLC) and around here was when the brainrot returned tenfold and had be in its clutches. This was one of the many silly doodles I did for the game

September: Major outer wilds spoilers for this art! But this here was the comic I spent a little over a month working on. A comic inspired by an Undertale quote that I felt really encapsulates Hatchling's journey. I also posted this on Twitter and it got noticed by both Mobius Digital and got a comment by Andrew Prahlow and I'm still losing my mind over that qwq

October: Outer Wilds DLC spoilers here! I drew a lot for October bc during this, I was participating in an Outer Wilds Inktober event ^^ This art was something I did as a little bit of a break from the inktober stuff. But also bc the DLC gave me a lot of feelings and I had to draw them out

November - December: During this time, the Outer Wilds server I joined created our own Nomai clan so I spent.. So Much time drawing mostly Nomai ocs djdfg. It was a lot of fun and I enjoyed being able to be silly with my art and participate in this group endeavor!

Overall, I'm proud of how much I was able to draw this year despite juggling a full time job that would usually leave me too drained and tired to draw. Some days it's still difficult to keep drawing but joining a group of creatives really inspired me to create for fun.

I'm hoping to continue creating art next year, maybe make more fanart of stuff I love. And absolutely hoping to draw more oc stuff, especially of my story, Startrails! :)

[leapingbadger]

Cadets

So, this started as part of the WIP tag game and took on a life of its own and veered in a totally different direction. I had a fun time trying to write the Batch as cadets though. Hope you enjoy it.

Summary: Young Hunter struggles with his enhancements during an off-world war game, the results of which could have a scary outcome.

Read on AO3

They had been on the jungle moon for two rotations now and there was no sign of when the test would end. Their surely instructor had dropped them off in a LAAT with Hunter, Crosshair and Tech hanging to the sides of the door opening, Wrecker being the only one tall enough to reach the handles above their heads.

The packs were heavy on their backs as they traipsed through the jungle, Hunter in front, quickly followed by Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker bringing up the rear.

Hunter lifted his right fist as he paused, crouching, his palm digging into the dirt in front of him. “I think we’re getting close,” he said, turning the dirt over in his palm before bringing it to his nose.

“I still do not understand what the smell of dirt could possibly tell you about our position.” Tech said, holding his datapad above his head for a better signal.

“I don’t know how to explain it. They passed through her about thirty minutes ago. If we keep going on this trajectory, we should be able to reach them before dark,” Hunter responded.

He didn’t blame his brothers for their confusion, he still wasn’t sure how his enhancements worked or how they were supposed to be helpful when they were eventually cleared for duty. It was clear that Crosshair’s marksmanship would make him a dangerous foe to the separatists, same with Wrecker and his brute strength and demo skills. Tech could figure out any problem in a split second, work on mechanics and knew everything there was to know about science.

When compared to his brothers, Hunter felt silly. He could sniff dirt and track animals, which didn’t seem like a very helpful skill when he was supposed to grow up to fight droids.

“Let’s get a move on then,” Crosshair said grumpily. His curly white hair had exploded in the humidity, sticking out at odd angles and making him look like he had a halo above his head. Hunter had offered him one of his bandanas but had been rudely rebuffed. But that was nothing new when it came to Crosshair.

They continued on, pausing occasionally for a rustle in the trees above or a strange smell that crossed their path. For every time they stopped, Hunter could feel his brothers getting more exasperated.

Hunter pulled his training blaster from its holster, “I think they’re up ahead,” he said, hedging his bets just in case he was wrong and at risk of gaining the ire of his brothers.

“Let me look,” Crosshair snapped, climbing a low branch of a tree above and peering narrow eyes into the clearing. “They’re there alright.”

Crosshair jumped down, a triumphant look on his face. He lowered his voice, “We need to spread out and rush in. Hunter and I will take the front, Wrecker and Tech the back.”

“I feel the need to point out that this is not your mission, Crosshair. Hunter has been given the commanding role for this exercise.” Tech said, pushing his goggles up his nose and turning to his oldest brother.

Hunter felt all eyes on him and fought the urge to turn away.

“Hunter doesn’t have a plan, do you?” Crosshair quipped.

Hunter turned to look through the clearing. He could definitely smell the other team of cadets; the adrenalin was practically choking him. Their heartbeats hammered in their chests as well as they waited for the squad to spring the trap. But there was something else, something on the edge of his senses that he couldn’t quite make sense of yet. But it felt like a warning.

“I uh… I don’t think rushing in is the best idea, Cross.” He said at last, trying to avoid his brother’s steely gaze.

“Why not?” Crosshair responded.

“There’s something else there, other than the cadets… I just can’t…”

“Oh, here we go…some kind magic sixth sense that you’ve discovered?” Crosshair quipped with an eyeroll.

Hunter scowled. He knew crosshair was tired and cranky but was getting sick of his attitude. He wasn’t the only one who was hot and hungry.

“Hey, be nice,” Wrecker barked, punching Crosshair lightly on the shoulder. Hunter smiled at Wrecker, the bruiser winked back.

“There’s something else going on here.” Hunter said, more confidently. Boyed by Wrecker standing up for him. “There’s a faint hum that I can’t place, and I feel…tingly…it feels like all my nerves are on fire and I’m getting weird twitches…”

“What do you think it means?” Tech asked, concerned, “It is possible you have contracted some kind of aliment from the vegetation on this moon. Perhaps we should surrender and get you analyzed by the medical staff.”

Hunter shook his head as Crosshair spoke, “We’re not surrendering when we’re this close to completing the mission. If Hunter is sick, I’ll take command. Hunter, stay here, the rest of us will rush the group.”

“Crosshair I…”

“Perhaps he’s right.” Wrecker said quietly. “We don’t want you getting hurt if you really are sick.”

Hunter hung his head and turned to Tech for support. “What do you think?” he asked.

To his disappointment, Tech avoided his gaze as he looked back through the clearing. “Perhaps, in this instance, we should be cautious.”

Hunter nodded his understanding and stepped back from his brothers. He watched from a distance as they disappeared into the woods, tracking their increased heartrates as they made their way in a circle around the other cadet’s base.

Hunter chanced getting closer to the tree line. He may not be able to participate in the end of the mission, but he could at least watch his squad in action. The hum seemed to get louder the closer he got to the edge of the clearing. The hairs on his arms stood on end and every muscle in his body twitched uncomfortably and uncontrollably.

Something wasn’t right. He was sensing something new. Taking out his binoculars he scanned the camp again, his eyes flicking quickly over the squad of six cadets, laughing around a heat lamp.

His eyes finally found the source. He scrambled to his feet and ran back into the dense forest until he was far enough to speak on the comm.

“Crosshair, come in. They have a shield generator. You won’t be able to get through. Crosshair?”

There was no answer.

“Wrecker? Tech? Do you copy?”

Still no response.

Hunter rushed to the edge of the trees again but didn’t see any sign of his brothers. Taking a deep breath, he dashed back into the woods, following the scent of his brothers in the hopes he would come upon one of them before it was too late.

The scents diverged with Tech seemingly going further into the thicket of trees. He followed the scent, quickly picking up his boot prints in the wet mud underfoot.

 “Tech?” Hunter called.

“Hunter?” a voice came from in front of him. Tech’s goggles glinted in the dappled light through the trees.

“Why didn’t you answer your comm?” Hunter asked

“Crosshair wanted radio silence,” Tech said with an eyeroll.

Hunter sighed and pinched his nose. His brother always loved the idea of radio silence, even when it made no sense to the mission.

“They have a shield generator. You won’t be able to get through. Can you hack it? Disable it?” Hunter asked, pulling out his binoculars again to see if his other brothers had made any movement.

“Of course,” Tech said, tapping a few buttons on his datapad. “We need to warn the others though, or they could be injured. How did you discover this information?”

“I looked,” Hunter said, simply. But Tech didn’t seem satisfied.

“The feeling you had. Do you think you were sensing the generator?”

“I don’t know. Maybe. Can we talk about this later? “You find Wrecker, I’ll find Cross.” Hunter said, not waiting for an answer before heading deeper into the forest in search of his youngest brother.

Again, he picked up the scent easily and this time looked up when the scent went cold. Crosshair always loved to perch on high during missions.

“Cross? They have a shield generator. Tech’s trying to disable it but…”

“Hunter? What are you doing? You’re going to give away our position.” The sniper spat as he rested on a high branch.

“You won’t be able to get through. They have a shield…”

“You’re no longer in command, Hunter. The others agreed with me.”

“Cross, you’re not listening. They have a shield generator. Your shots won’t get through.”

Hunter watched as Crosshair’s eyes flicked down, a signal he was thinking something through. He turned away from his brother, raised his training rifle and fired a shot.

Hunter watched in disbelief as the blaster bolt hit the shield with a hiss and got caught, briefly illuminating the arching web of protection over the camp and those residing inside it. The heartrates of the cadets pounded in Hunter’s ears as they whooped and gathered their things.

“They’re coming,” Hunter whispered.

Hunter hid in the thick brush as the cracking of twigs and crunching on feet on the ground grew louder.

“I’ll get the flag, you distract them.” Crosshair hissed, sliding down the tree with little effort and darting for the clearing.

“The shield is still up,” Hunter called after his brother, but it was no use.

Hunter did his best to quell his anger. He would have to deal with Cross later. As the footsteps drew near, he crouched into place, not entirely sure how he would distract them other than tackling them one at a time.

Hunter was lucky that the environment of this moon played into his skill set. The dense forest meant sound was insulated to the earth, making his already exceptional hearing all the more concentrated.

He heard the low murmuring of a couple of cadets. Hunter sunk lower into the mud, completely obscured by the foliage on the ground. His training blaster rang out before they even knew he was there.

“Where did that come from?” the taller of the two asked, his eyes scanning the underbrush. The second, smaller cadet raised his blaster, carefully circling the bush Hunter was hiding in. Hunter let out a low growl.

“Get away, what if it’s one of those creatures we found earlier?” the first cadet said, fear evident in his voice.

“Nah, it’s got to be one of the defectives.” The second cadet said.

Hunter closed his eyes, listening intently to the sound of the cadet’s heart beating against his cheat, the breath making his nostrils flare as he tried to control his breathing. He didn’t need his eyes to know he was standing directly in front of Hunter’s hiding spot.

A crack of wood in the distance made the cadets spin around and Hunter took his chance. His arms sprang out of the bush just enough to wrap around the older cadet’s waist and drag him backwards. The training blaster was directly up against the scoring plate when he pulled the trigger.

He pushed his way out of the brush and the stricken cadet unfolded himself from the tangle of branches and leaves.

“What are you playing at, defect?” The cadet spat, his cheeks pink with embarrassment as he brushed himself off.

“You’re out,” Hunter said triumphantly.

“Well, you haven’t won yet.” The cadet said with a scowl.

“We’ll see,” Hunter said before setting off to find his brothers.

He was able to circle back to Tech without coming across any of the other cadets. He bent over panting as he almost collided with his brother whose nose was buried in his datapad, fingers flying at exceptional speed.

“how’s it going?” Hunter asked, breathlessly.

“I have almost got it. We did have a slight distraction in the form of a couple of cadets.” Tech said with a scowl to his left.

Hunter had been so focused on his brothers he didn’t notice the three older cadets milling around, glaring at him.

“So that means there’s only one left. Have you seen Cross?” Hunter asked, grabbing his binoculars from his pack and searching the tree. “He said he was going to get the flag.”

“Negative, although we have been preoccupied. Wrecker?”

“Not me. Haven’t been able to hail him on the comm either.”

“Well, he did request radio silence, Wrecker.” Tech said in an exasperated voice.

Wrecker shrugged, unpeturbed.

Hunter looked over Tech’s shoulder as he continued to prod buttons.

“Maybe I should go look for him,” he said, starting towards the tree line.

“Perhaps we all should. I have one more firewall and…” Tech paused, his eyes narrowing on the screen. “The shield it down.”

The three squad members charged for the clearing. Hunter heard Crosshair’s heavy boot falls as he ran to the flag in the center of the camp. As he broke through the brush first, Hunter saw the flag, proudly displayed on a pole. No match for Crosshair who spent most of his training exercises climbing up high for a better site line.

Crosshair sprinted into the open, his shot at the final cadet narrowly missed as the older clone rolled to the ground. Crosshair continued shooting aimlessly while sprinting.

Hunter, Tech and Wrecker were close on his heels, Wrecker shooting the final cadet, so he was out of the game. He gave a defeated sigh and went to join his brothers on the outskirts of the clearing. They glared at Clone Force 99 as they watched Crosshair scale the pole to retrieve their final prize.

As Crosshair’s hand closed around the flag and he started to ease his way down, Hunter’s senses exploded.

His head snapped sideways to look at the shield generator. It had started to spark and vibrate.

“Tech? what’s happening?” he shouted as a piercing electrical wail echoed in his head.

Hunter dropped to his knees, arms clasped around ears and the sound threatened to cleave his head in two. He looked around, no one else seemed to be affected. He struggled to his feet, trying to push the pain away.

Tech’s fingers flew over his datapad, “I…I am not sure…It appears there is a failsafe.”

“Go. Now,” Hunter said, shoving his brothers and pointing to the cadets at the far tree line. “I’ll get Cross.”

Tech went to protest but Hunter gave him a stern look he knew not to rebuke. Crosshair was oblivious to the drama below and he slid happily onto the grass. He grinned as he waved the flag in Hutner’s face before his smile faltered.

“We’ve got to go, now.”

“Why?” Crosshair asked, oblivious to the intense sensation spread from his ears to the rest of his body. He felt his nerve endings quiver and tingle, all at once. Every piece of his body was on fire as the generator started to self-combust.

“Go,” Hunter shouted again but Crosshair didn’t seem remotely concerned. Only when the generator started to physically shake, spitting out electric blue tendrils in the air did his eyes widen.

“Cross, we have to go, now!” The words were barely out of his mouth before he realized it was too late. Hunter knocked his brother off his feet, throwing his smaller frame on top of him as the shield generator disintegrated, spewing an electromagnetic wave throughout the forest with such force the trees were pushed sideways, some cracking under the pressure of the pulse.

Hunter’s entire body twitched and flailed excruciatingly as the electromagnetic waves poured over him. Crosshair pushed himself out from underneath his brother, turning him over.

“Hunter?” he shouted, his mouth moving but Hunter was unable to hear. He saw Crosshair’s angular face, twisted with concern, hover over his vision before the blackness took him.

***

“I believe he is waking up,” Tech’s clipped voice said.

“You said that thirty minutes ago,” Crosshair murmured.

“Well, without a med scanner it is not exactly a precise science.” Tech responded grumpily.

“Shh, they’ll find us if you don’t keep quiet.” Wrecker whispered with an unusually cautious tone.

“Don’t be such a baby,” Crosshair sneered.

“Don’t call him a baby, Cross.” Hunger rasped.

His three brothers head’s whipped around as he spoke. Hunter tried to open his eyes, but the glaring white light of the room forced him to close them again. Even so, in a short time he could tell he was in the med bay. He noticed the lights dim behind his eyelids and tentatively opened them again.

Wrecker was over by the controls and nodded, seemingly satisfied that it had done the job.

“How long have I been out?” Hunter asked, sitting up and brushing his long hair off of his face.

“Approximately seventeen hours. When they were unable to raise you after the training exercise, we were all medevacked home.”

“Was anyone else hurt?” he asked, casting his eyes around the empty med bay.

His brothers shuffled their feet. “Not really, Crosshair received a few minor scratches from shrapnel, but you bore the brunt due to…um…”

“Being an idiot,” Crosshair said, his eyes flashing.

Hunter’s eyes narrowed, “You’re welcome, Cross” he said sarcastically.

“Hey, I didn’t ask for your help,” his brother said, rounding on him as Wrecker and Tech exchanged a look.

“Well maybe if you’d listened to me the first time, we would both have been clear before…whatever happened, happened.” Hunter finished lamely, realizing he had no memory of what had transpired once the machine had started to malfunction, and he had jumped on top of his brother.

“You have no recollection of the incident?” Tech asked, casting worried eyes at the other brothers.

“No. Just, you know, diving on top of Cross. Why?”

The three boys were silent. Hunter sat up and asked the question again, “Tech, why?”

“You. Um… you looked...”

“…like you were dying,” Wrecker finished, his large brown eyes sad and watery.

“What?” Hunter asked. He looked down at himself. Aside from a few cuts and scrapes he felt fine.

“Your body was twitching all over and you were screaming. You covered your ears before the explosion. I believe you were reacting to the electromagnetic field.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like something that will help during combat. That sounds like a problem that will get me decommissioned.” Hunter said, desperately trying to keep the panic out of his voice.

Again, the brothers were silently shifting their feet and avoiding eye contact.

“We won’t let them take you.” Crosshair said in a strained voice.

Hunter felt his eyes grow wide. His brothers were rarely this serious, they must genuinely consider him being decommissioned a possibility.

“I do believe it would be advantageous for us to test the hypothesis…”

“Shhh,” Hunter whispered as he started to pick up the faint sound of Kaminoan feet in the hallway. “Someone’s coming. Hide.”

The brothers scattered, Wrecker rolling under one of the beds, Tech squeezing behind a medical cart in the far corner and crosshair cramming himself between the wall and the headboard of Hunter’s bed.

The door opened with a whoosh and Nala Se slowly slunk into the room. Unusually she was alone. She was often accompanied by a series of droids and medical staff, their absence made Hunter’s heart pound in his chest. As the panic took hold a machine to his left started beeping incessantly. He cringed at the noise and the Kaminoan crossed to his bedside.

“Do not fret CT-9901, there will be no testing today. I am simply checking on your recovery.”

The beeping of the machine slowed down in response and Hunter nodded his understanding. She ran a medical scanner over him methodically. He froze as the blue light traced over him, remembering the arching blue electricity that emanated from the shield.

Nala Se took note, restarting the device once it shut off and running it over him again.

“You seem fearful of the device. Does this cause you discomfort?”

“No,” Hunter said honestly but wincing as she brought it closer to his face.

Nala Se’s large black eyes narrowed as she cast her eyes around the room. She stepped over to the cart in the corner, removing a strange device Hunter had never seen before.

“What about now?” she asked, switching on the long, thin wand and holding it under his chin.

Hunter shrank away as the hum of the device seemed to vibrate in his ears. The nerve endings in his cheeks and chin started to tingle and he could feel his teeth as though they were slowly being tugged out of his mouth.

She held the device there longer than was necessary, not just testing his aversion to it but his stamina as well.

“Stop,” a voice called from the corner, “It is hurting him,” Tech said bravely.

Nala Se didn’t stop or turn around, all her attention focused on the scared cadet in front of her.

“Do you feel discomfort now?” she asked calmly.

Hunter swallowed, his throat tight, “yes,” he said.

Nala Se slowly lowered the device but didn’t turn it off, instead setting it at the end of the bed.

“And now?”

Hunter looked from the device to the Kaminoan, “I…um…I still feel it, but it doesn’t hurt.”

Nala Se took hold of the device again and moved it back to the cart, ignoring Tech who was still standing behind it. “And now?” she asked again slowly.

“I can still feel it,” Hunter said, trepidatiously.

“But no pain?”

Hunter shook his head, his eyes quickly darting to Tech for reassurance.

“Very Well. CT-9902, CT-9903 and CT-9904, you will return to your barracks. CT-9901 you will remain in the med bay under observation. We will continue with your testing tomorrow.”

Hunter heard furniture scrape against the floor as his brothers came out of their hiding places. Nala Se waited at the door, presumably to make sure they left. His brothers all gave him a nod, maybe for courage or support. It didn’t really matter, as they filed out Nala Se turned off the light and the room was cast into darkness.

Hunter laid down and pulled the covers up to his chin. The faint whirring of the device still emanating from the corner of the room.

***

“Again” an echoing voice sounded over the central comm in the training room.

Hunter wiped sweat from his forehead as he moved back to first position by the entrance. He watched the Kaminoans in the control room pressing buttons, causing the room to rearrange itself. Walls sank into the floor only for new ones to be raised, creating a personalized labyrinth, just for him.

Hunter chanced a glance up to his left. He knew his brothers would be in The Hole, a storage closet with a perfect view of the training room below. Tech had long ago hacked the lock so they could use it whenever they needed. He couldn’t see them through the tinted glass but knew all three of his brothers were there.  

An unpleasantly shrill chime sounded to indicate the start of the next test. Hunter yawned behind his hand.

“Are we boring you, CT-9901?” a cool voice rang out over the comm?

“No, Sir.” Hunter responded automatically. He hadn’t been sleeping well in the med bay. The isolation from his brother and change in routine made him feel uncomfortable and untethered.

The signal sounded for the second time and now he needed to move. The tests in the training room varied from everything from tracking practice, target practice, war games with other cadets and specialized training for the 99s. His last few days in the room had been the latter.

Nala Se had grown very interested in his reactions to electromagnetic fields. His first fully conscious day in the med bay was spent having various devices waved in front of him to see his reaction. A band strapped to his head measured brain waves and something else he wasn’t sure of.

He must have passed that test because the next day there was a new one. With every test he passed more medical staff entered the room, poking him, staring at him, and talking about him as though he were an object rather than a person.

Today was his third, and hopefully, final day in the training room. The tests had been getting more and more intense, this final one involving counter fire, the canons, and the need for him to find the offending device before the timer ran out.

The test may have only just started but Hunter already knew where the machine was, it was just a question of getting to it. He darted out, shooting out one of the canons on the left and settling behind a low wall.  From this vantage point he couldn’t reach the other canon so needed to get closer.

He sprinted back the other way, blue energy bolts flying over his head. Skidding behind another low wall he sent a bolt at the second canon. It deactivated with a whirr. Hunter could still sense the device, as he had moved the intense tingling on his skin had faded. He stepped into the entrance of the maze of tall walls, taking out training droids easily as he rounded the corners. He could hear the chrono ticking in the background. He closed his eyes to zero in on the device. It was still there but it would take too long to get around all the walls to it.

He looked up at the wall in front of him. The face of it wasn’t completely sheer, there were tiny diverts every few feet. He could climb that, he thought, as he attached his blaster to his back. He gave a quick look to the window of the Hold for reassurance and started to climb.

He reached the top of the first wall quickly, dropping to one knee he took out the remaining doids from above. There were only three other walls in the way. He jumped from one to another before finally sliding down the final wall in front of the device.

Hunter had expected the test to end but the chrono was still running. He looked around, confused and hoping for additional directions but none came. He took the blaster off his back and held it ready, anticipating some kind of attack. The device was almost fully enclosed in a compartment within the maze. He turned to leave and work his way back through the maze when a wall sprang up in front of him, trapping him with the device.

Hunter banged his fist on the wall as he heard the threatening whir of the machine turning on. He searched the room for an escape, hoping to climb out but realizing these walls were sheer and lacking in the handholds necessary.

Hunter again looked up to his brothers as the machine in front of his started to vibrate, blue tendrils curling out in every direction.

Panic had started to grip the young cadet as he traced his hands around the room, desperate for a way to claw his way out. Finally, realizing he was stuck, he looked to the Kaminoan’s in the command booth. He pulled his shoulders back resolutely, closed his eyes and waited for the electromagnetic pulse to engulf him.

He bit his lip as he felt the fire in his nerves. He would not scream this time; he would not give them the satisfaction. As the wave erupted around him, the pain seemed to dissipate. It wasn’t as intense as it had been on the jungle moon. He still felt it, and it didn’t feel pleasant, but it wasn’t painful and was no different from the barrage of tests the Kaminoan’s put him and his brothers through on a weekly basis. The lights of the training room flickered and blinked out before returning with an overwhelming brightness. Hunter tensed as he cautiously opened his eyes. He looked down in surprise, patting his chest and arms as though checking he was still in one piece.

The walls of the maze collapsed into the floor of the training room as quickly as they had risen.

“CT-9901. You are excused. You may return to your barracks.” Nala Se’s sing song voice sounded over the comm.

Hunter didn’t need telling twice. He dropped the blaster and ran to the far entrance. As the door slid open, he almost collided with Wrecker who pulled him into a tight hug, Hunter’s feet dangling off the ground.

“Nice to see you too, Wreck,” he said with a grin, his voice muffled against his brother’s chest.

The squad spent the rest of the day in their barracks. Hunter curled up in his familiar bunk, snuggled with Wrecker’s tooka doll for comfort. He heard his brother’s low murmured conversation as he drifted in and out of sleep.

“Do you think he’s safe now?” Wrecker asked in a hushed voice.

“Shh,” Crosshair hissed.

“Well, is he?” Wrecker continued, worry in his voice.

Hunter heard Tech furiously tapping on his datapad, “The results of the testing are sealed but are marked with an E, representing ‘Exemplary conduct’. I believe he is safe, Wrecker.”

Hunter listened as the group let out a collective sigh and smiled into his pillow. After days of anxiety and stress, he finally felt his heartbeat return to normal. He was safe, they were all safe. For now.

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Bastard’s Mistress ~ A Don John x Servant!Fem!Reader Fic

So I caught the don John brain rot this weekend…very contagious, 10/10 recommend. This might be @scarlettspectra ’s fault, from all her beautiful gifs she’s been posting!😆 I didn’t go full Shakespearean here but had some fun with the syntax. I apologize in advance. Reader is properly deferential for the time, but she’s got a little spunk.😬 

Warnings: the line between dubcon and noncon here is VERRRY thin. I don’t even know. So if that bothers you do NOT read this! What else. Period correct misogyny and degradation. Corruption. I’m so bad at itemizing these things. Please take care. If u have squiks i probs wouldn’t read this…

You are a chambermaid in His Excellency don Alejandro’s hacienda. It gives you a certain distance from things, as you come and go, doing your best to keep the country house clean and stay out of sight. But don Alejandro’s bastard, the fire-eyed boy with such a burning contempt for the world, has always seen you. 

When you were young children, don John would play with you all, the offspring of the servants who were too young to work. Not because he enjoyed your company, but because he delighted in ordering you all about. Luckily in those days he ignored you as often as he tormented you. 

Then there was a time, when the two of you hovered on the precipice between childhood and adult responsibilities, that you had almost been friends. Or at least, not enemies. He, the bitter outsider with the privileges of a full blooded son, but none of the standing. You, unmoored in your fatherlessness, the fever having taken your sire when you were just a babe. 

Don John goaded you into shirking your chores one day to go play in the hills. He’d only taunted you a little, as you played your silly games, which mostly consisted of him manipulating you, ordering you to do this and that, always testing just how far he could go before being met with rebellion. It was still better than working your hands raw in the laundry. “We should run away,” he’d said in that devil-may-care way brash young boys have, so sure the world is destined to fold for them. You, however, had begged to go home, for all it won you. Upon returning your mother absolutely tanned your backside, and you never associated with Don John in such a familiar way again.

You saw him around the grounds, of course, as you scurried from one backbreaking chore to the next, and as he went through the motions of learning how to become a gentleman. Amidst his riding lessons he would wink at you from astride his fine black horse, but the cruel turn of his mouth never failed to halt you in returning it, even if your heart quickened in your chest.

That did not mean you didn’t think of him later though, on your lumpy cot of straw, as urges began to awaken in your body that was well on its way to becoming a woman’s. You saw his face at night, so achingly handsome you could hardly contain your longing. It felt like madness, and so you shoved it down in the deepest dungeon of your heart, as far as it could go. 

It was not helpful, or good, the times when young don John passed you in the halls, and you felt that he would like to just eat you up. He would tug at your apron strings with a smirk before striding on to whatever lark he plotted for the day. The unholy feelings just a look from that man called up in you had you reaching for your rosary–and late at night, when all others lay asleep, between your legs.

You’d felt a certain relief when he went off to war with don Pedro. Even though your heart ached for the inevitable change, a part of you hoped he would never return.

As it turns out, your hopes were not to be realized. He has returned to his father’s country house, on the tails of some scandal in Messina. His temper is even fouler than you remember. His scowl, crueler. He has met with some disappointment, out in the world. You hope he will not take it out on you blameless servants.

Perhaps that is too much to ask of the upper caste.

You feel his eyes upon you again, as in the old days, but different. There is a weight in his gaze that makes you uncomfortable in your own skin, as though it no longer fits upon your own bones. It makes you ache for something no pious unmarried girl should yearn for, something you cannot name, only feel in the darkest hours of night when you lay awake on your mattress of straw, your sinful fingers exploring the bud of flesh between your legs.

You decide don John carries the flames of Hell in his burning dark eyes.

You dream of him, as though he has possessed your flesh in your sleeping hours.

He corners you one day, as you are changing the linens in one of the many airy rooms of the hacienda. You eye him warily, as he shuts the door, his large and forbidding form blocking your exit. His dark eyes upon you are black as night.

“What a flower you have blossomed into, y/n,” he muses, stepping slowly into the room with the measured calculation of a predator stalking prey. “No longer the knees and elbows girl I remember.”

“You…have also changed, my lord,” you offer cautiously. No longer the awkward, rail thin youth, his shoulders have the breadth of a man who rides a charger and wields a sword. You have tried not to notice.

“How so?” he fishes, canting his head with a smirk.

Your face feels as though you have caught on fire. “You are…taller,” you offer, winning a cruel little chuckle.

“Oh? I do like the sound of that. What else?” Another step closer, his booted heel clicking on the floor, and you are veritably boxed in between the walls and the oversized bed.

“My lord?” you stall, mortified.

“Did you miss me, y/n?”

This question also takes you aback, and perhaps that is why you answer honestly.

“Sometimes.”

“Well. That is more than any of my relations here will bother to claim,” he answers bitterly. In that moment you still see a boy just striving, yearning for his father’s recognition. Perhaps it was ridiculous, but you always felt bad for him, in a way.

“Did you hear the happy news? Don Pedro has taken a wife, and opts to dwell in Messina,” snarls don John with a mocking brightness.

“How…fortunate for him.”

The man before you makes a sound that suggests he barely restrained himself from spitting upon the floor in his half brother’s name.

“Indeed.” He takes one more step, and you know you are done for, your heart in your chest. There will be no escaping now. “What of you, fair y/n? Assumed the yoke of marriage yet?” The disdain in his words hangs bitter in the air.

You are tempted to lie, but know no good should come of it. “No, my lord,” you answer, your voice barely louder than a whisper.

“How fortunate for you.” 

Perhaps in your fear, you forget yourself. “John, please–”

He moves to strike, and you are but a rabbit in the jaws of a wolf, quick but not quick enough to evade him. His arm is like a band of iron about your waist, lifting you off the floor in his fury. He slams you down–albeit upon the feather mattress–a luxury you’ve never experienced for yourself, your back accustomed to scratchy tick straw.

“Insouciant wench! How familiar you are, to address me so.” He sounds so cruelly delighted by it, wedging his lean body like a knife between your legs, his narrow hips locked against yours. When you attempt to sit up he easily pins you down, his large hand spanning two of your wrists with ease, his other pressed lightly over your throat. You can hardly hear, hardly think, over the sound of your heartbeat thundering in your ears. He can surely feel it in your pulse, fluttering against his fingers. You are filled with fear–and the sharp ache of desire, God save you.

“Please, my lord…”

He makes a low sound in his throat, his lips tracing your jaw. “Please what, pretty maid? I have a mind to make a meal of you.”

“Please…don’t hurt me.”

“Hurt you? That is up to you, my dear. I will have you. Sweetly, or by force, tis your choice.” Your heart lodges in your throat. Your mother warned you about this, time and again. Men are dogs and gentlemen the worst of them. Never let them catch you alone.

And in your darkest heart of hearts, you know that a part of you hoped don John might do just that.

He kisses the corner of your mouth, surprisingly gently for such a villain, but you attempt to turn away. It only wins his annoyance, his large hand turning your face back to him. Before he can press his mouth to yours you say, “You merely seek to make sport of me in your boredom here. It is not right.”

He laughs at that. “Sport, I shall make,” he muses, hiking your skirts above your thighs. “Let us test the truth of your righteous outrage?” Boldly his fingers climb the trail of your leg, to the apex where he finds the damning evidence of your treacherous loins. “My lovely girl, so wet for such a reluctant quarry.” His long fingers dip inside your weeping center, and the sound you make does not resemble protest at all. He smirks down at you like the very devil. “And a virgin my little rabbit is not.”

Javi the stableboy took care of that for you, in a quick and disappointing tumble in the hay. His touch…had felt nothing like this, if truth you tell.

Ashamed, and burning, you look away. Tears trail out of your eyes, and a part of you wishes it shall just be over soon. He frowns at the shining tracks of water upon your cheeks, a menacing scowl that makes your eyes screw shut tight.

“Do not seek to engage my sympathy or my better nature, for you know I have none,” he growls above the dip of your throat, his lips searing as a brand upon your chest. 

“That wasn’t always true,” you dare, winning naught but a growl from this ravenous beast of a man above you.

“You are the only one who thinks so.” For the barest moment you see a flash of vulnerability in his eyes–the ghost of the memory of the boy he once was, there and gone like ripples in a pool. It is as though this second of softness spurs him on in his deed, as though he must shove it aside to enjoy his sordid pleasure.

Clever fingers tear at the laces of your stays; you are freed to breathe, but you are bared to his hungry gaze as he tugs down your shift for his delectation. “Such lovely fruits, just ripe for picking,” he muses, cupping your breast in his hand, suckling upon a nipple.

You never knew how such a thing could make your insides clench, your sinning cunt tightening in its aching emptiness. Your hips move against his of their own accord, your legs wrapping about him as you mindlessly seek some relief from this madness. He withdraws with a dramatic pop, laughing at your body’s treachery.

“You are a fiend.”

“Pray, tell me,” he taunts you.

“I hate you.”

“Is that any way to speak to your master?”

He is enjoying this far too much.

“You forget your place, don John, as ever.” 

That is when he slaps you. Not hard, nay, your own mother has hit you harder, but it certainly gets your attention. “I will rule here someday, y/n. Have a care with that tongue. I can think of better uses for it.” His piercing eyes fix upon your lips, a moment before he falls upon you, kissing you as though he means to devour you. You tense, thinking to bite him for being so cruel, so conniving, for just using you for no other reason other than he can.

He plays a very dirty trick on you, though.

That dexterous hand slips under your skirts again, swiping up your slick before circling that small nub of flesh that causes you such great tumult and shame. You moan into his mouth, and you feel him smile wickedly against you.

This man is the very devil, you are sure of it.

“Now who is ready to forget?” he taunts you, rubbing you in slow circles that drive you mad, make you writhe for the unbearable tightness coiling between your legs.

You can only manage a small cry, words escaping you. You’ve never felt anything like this, not at your own hands, and certainly not with Javi the stableboy.

“Please,” is all you can manage, and you’re not even entirely sure you know what you’re begging for.

“I like to hear you beg so sweetly.” He reaches to free himself from his breeches, his swollen tip hovering at your entrance. “So beg, wench, what favour is it you ask of me?”

You should entreat him to leave you be–you should beg for his mercy. But the delicious weight of him atop you, this dastardly man whose touch is such sweet sin–you are not sure you wish for him to leave you be. Your whole life has been such a march of drudgery. Even just the possibility of feeling something that is not pain or exhaustion makes you willfully forget every lesson your mother ever taught you, every fiery sermon the Padre ever flung down from his pulpit. Tis easy to renounce the Devil, until temptation has you in its clutches.

“I know not what to ask for,” you answer cautiously, and that at least is true.

Don John smirks down at you, a wicked gleam in his dark eyes. 

“Ask for my cock, you stupid girl, and if your quim pleases me perhaps I may be moved to share in the spoils.”

“Yes.” You strain your hips towards him, craving that satisfying, stretching burn of a man’s first thrust. That, atleast, you know something about.

“Yes, what?” he taunts you, delighting in your torment as he holds himself just out of reach.

“Yes, my lord,” you whimper, hating yourself as much as him in that moment. “May I have your cock?”

His smile widens in his devilish delight, almost showing teeth. “Remember that you asked for it.” But he taunts you no further, his thick head penetrating your weeping hole, the fullness of him stealing the very breath from your lungs. He groans once fully inside you, burying his face in your neck. 

“I’ve always known you would have the sweetest little cunt in the sierra,” he growls against your skin, and he begins to thrust.

If there is one thing you have always known about don John, it is that he loves to hear himself talk.

“You are mine, little maid,” he goes on, filling you so deeply you fear he must be in your belly. You are not sure you like it, and you only whimper in answer, straining for a better angle against him, seeking that certain friction that made you see stars.

“Say it,” he demands, understanding what you seek very well. You whine, turning your eyes to the ceiling. You know you are a mere peasant, and you know you do not own anything, much less yourself. Yet some small defiance rises in you, for his demanding tone.

“Perhaps I shall, if you make it so.” 

You wait for him to strike you again, but to your surprise he smirks with a sort of dark delight, only turning your gaze back to his with a rough hand upon your jaw. “There is the saucy wench I remember of our youth. Do you remember how you used to defy me?”

You don’t very much, recalling that he usually always emerged the master and victor of your games.

“No, my lord.”

“You do not recall striking me with a stick, in defense of a hapless bird?”

You blink, finding it rather unfair of this man to expect you to command the capacity to think in this situation. But then you do recall. You had all been small children. The boys sought amusement in throwing rocks at an injured sparrow. You had taken exception to it. 

Don John had sworn he would tell his father and have you executed.

You’d cried for days, but the sword never fell.

You’d nearly forgotten all about it, perhaps willfully burying the memory out of shame and fear. Mostly fear.

The bastard had deserved it.

He never forgot a slight, it seems.

“I always told myself I would have my revenge for that,” he tells you with a smirk, pressing his thumb into your mouth. You try to shrink away, but he has you like a fish on a hook. “Suck,” he commands you. You do not understand why those jetty black eyes boring into yours, paired with that unyielding tone, makes your needy cunt clench around him, only that it is extremely satisfying to see his eyes flutter closed, even if just for a moment.

You do as you’re told.

He uses your own saliva against you, reaching between your legs with that spit-wet thumb to touch you again. 

You forget everything else, but the carnal heaven that is his clever fingers with his manhood inside you. The sounds the two of you make are barely human, as you strain and writhe against each other, chasing your release from this hell. Those full lips made for sin devour you–his mouth on your breasts makes you see God, a searing pleasure crashing through you in a spine-cracking rush. How can something that feels so wonderful be so forbidden? Only then does don John truly let himself go, the sound of flesh striking flesh filling the room as he takes you with all his pent up fury. It is not long before he roars his release, filling you with ropes of his hot seed, his powerful body trembling in its tangle of limbs with yours.  

For just a moment you wished would last, his fingers lace with yours rather than pin you, his head heavy on your chest as he catches his breath. Yet when he lifts his gaze to you, his eyes gleam with their usual malevolence. 

“You will come to my chambers tonight,” he orders you. “For I am not finished with you yet by half.”

When your mouth opens–indeed to give protest–he silences you with a hard but heart-melting kiss, his long fingers tangled unforgivingly in your now loosened hair. 

“Do as I say, servant girl. Though if you don’t, I may enjoy making you.” That proud mouth ticks as he seems to imagine it, that fire igniting once more in his mesmerizing eyes. The thought simultaneously makes your blood run cold–and a thrill of desire run raucous down your spine.  

This man is the very devil. You are as sure of it now, as you know when the household goes to sleep, you will find your way back to his merciless embrace.

[omorimodreverie]

Reverie Dev Log - 2024 January + February

Overview

January and February saw ups and downs in activity, but overall significant progress was made. The start of the year was initially slow due to breaks, but activity picked up slowly. You may have noticed that there were less promotional posts or updates in general during this time, as we were focused on development. Thanks to these efforts, though, we’re fairly optimistic that this will be the final dev log for Chapter 3.

As for me (Stahl) personally, I have not been able to do much this time round as I have been busy (hence lack of public updates), but this time round invaluable progress was made by others in the team.

Quick rundown:

First round of playtesting has been done - This was a very rudimentary one aimed at finding basic bugs

NPCs are now mostly finished, and our writers are now working on flavor text and side writings

Portraits are all done and implemented

Battles have been planned out in more detail

Various organizational changes

Extra writers and RPGMV members have been recruited

Updates

The first round of playtesting is complete! This one was rather rudimentary, containing only basic story points. The aim was to test progression and to fix major bugs, both of which we’ve now finished. There are still some major aspects missing, like flavor texts and quests but vital components to main progression like cutscenes and maps are completed and being tested. Hopefully, this round of playtesting should wrap up soon, and more will follow. 

Minor and Side contents

There’s still a lot of design decisions to make, mostly regarding seemingly minor aspects of the game that actually take large amounts of resources. A lot of thought must be put into whether these features, like flavor text and shops, are worth the amount of time needed to make them, and if so how much. 

Due to this chapter being a real world section and story centric, the remaining gameplay would be left to mostly side quests. This is an interesting challenge, as unlike base Omori, Sunny is not familiar with the city like back in Faraway town, meaning it’s more challenging to find opportunities to give him quests. 

As for Reverie specific side content, battles won’t completely be abandoned in the real world. They’ll be taking forms in various challenge battles found throughout the city. For a rough idea, think of the Jackson poster found in Hobbeez from the base game.

Miscellaneous Changes

Another thing yet to be done are tweaks to previous chapter content. They will mostly affect quality of life, but some will also be major gameplay changes. Here’s some examples of planned changes (not exhaustive):

Picnic allows the player to change difficulty mid game (Trust me, later dream world chapters will feature major difficulty spikes and players may get stuck)

Hit Rates on equipment changed, mostly heavily nerfed. This makes evasion buffs actually relevant (and also, 300% hit rate is just silly).

Some skills entirely changed (e.g. Spaceboy Preserve will change into another Attack skill instead).

In game info to indicate that emotion influences Enemy AI very strongly in reverie compared to base game.

Conclusion

Overall, development on chapter 3 is reaching its later stages, reaching the first round of playtesting. This should hopefully be the last dev log in relation to Chapter 3 development.

As thanks for reading this far, here is a remade portrait of real world Sunny! It’s a bit more softer than the previous one, and the proportion has been improved as well.

[luv4fandoms]

Ti Amo (Marko x Fem!Reader)

This story was inspired by this idea

So thank you so much anon! I definitely couldn't have come up with a Valentine's Day themed story without your help. And I know this late, I'm sorry, life has had me busy.

For this I had to do some research on how Valentine's Day is celebrated in Italy and can I just say, that I much prefer the Italian way of celebrating! Like... America! You took a wrong turn somewhere and got off course.

Anywho, all Italian is translated by Google translate so if anything is wrong I do apologize.

Word count: 2,665

Pairing: Marko x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pure Fluff!

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐈 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬, 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐬, 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞.⚠️

Ko-Fi

The shops suddenly being filled with red, white, and pink everything indicated only one thing…Valentine's Day was approaching. A holiday you hadn't cared for in many many years…Until you met Marko. As cheesy as it sounded, Marko changed your whole life, and actually made you believe in love again. So now that the holiday of love was approaching, you wondered what to get for your own Cupid. You knew a handmade gift would be best, since making things was something you both enjoyed, that and the fact that the both of you often made fun of the overly marketed cheesiness of the Hallmark holiday, stating that along the way it had lost its actual symbolism and was now simply a way for stores to cash in on love. Though as you were scoping out the shops that night on the boardwalk you have found something you knew he would love..But you wanted to do something more, something he wouldn't expect…and that's when the thought hit you. You only had a few weeks until Valentine's Day, which meant you had to cram as much studying into those few weeks, and the studying began the next day when the library was actually open. Marko was a bit suspicious when you started to get sleepy earlier in the nights leading up to Valentine's Day, but you would just assure him that it was a surprise and you were ok. To which he would grumble but pull you close to him, kissing along your neck and telling you not to put your health at risk. You studied as much as you could, tested yourself over and over again until you could say the words at least almost flawlessly, and finally felt at least somewhat ready for your Valentine's surprise. 

The night of the holiday you had put on an outfit you knew Marko went crazy over and headed to the boardwalk, excited to see your Romeo..What you didn't expect, was for him to not be there. Looking at the boys, your eyes wandered for Marko, but couldn't spot the soft blonde curls anywhere in the crowd.

"He's just running late" Paul told you, slinging his arm around your shoulder. When Marko wasn't around, the boys, often Paul, took it upon themselves to be your protector on the boardwalk.

"Running late?" 

"It's a surprise," he smiled, before pulling you along.

"Come on, let's go hit up the games til he gets here, I'll be your temporary Valentine" he said with a wink, making you laugh, Paul was definitely your best friend, but even being your best friend, you began to get worried after an hour passed and Marko still hadn't shown up.

"Are you sure he's ok?" You asked, for what was probably the tenth time.

"I'm sure if it sis, come on, you know Marko, he's reckless sure but not stupid, he can handle himself" 

"I know that!...But it doesn't stop me from worrying" you sighed while looking down.

"Worrying about who?" You heard a very familiar voice ask. Looking up quickly you came face to face with a little stuffed bat.

"My silly boyfriend, you see he's an hour late and I'm starting to think I should go look for him Mr.Bat" you told the toy, trying to hide the smile as you shot a glance to your boyfriend.

"I'm sure he's fine, just maybe hoping you won't be mad at him for being late" the bat spoke, and you couldn't hold in the laugh as you reached out and took him.

"Not mad" you said while turning to look at Marko.

"Good, cause I promise I had a good reason"

"Oh?"

"Come on" he smiled, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards his bike.

"Thanks for hanging out with me" you yelled back to Paul as Marko pulled you along.

"Anytime sis!" 

You happily climbed onto the back of Marko's bike, the stuffed bat tucked into your shirt.

"You keep doing that and I'm gonna get jealous of that little guy" he joked while starting his bike.

"Hey it's only fair, I let you ride in my shirt when you're in bat form remember"

"No way I could forget that amore, best seat on the whole boardwalk" he joked

"Funny, my vote would be your lap" you joked back, earning a grin from him as he leaned back, tilting his head until you could lean forward and kiss him, the kiss was short but full of love before he leaned forward again and took off. The two of you rode down the beach for a while, and honestly you felt like you could spend every night like this, with him, just riding. But soon you felt the bike beginning to slow before he stopped completely. You were a bit confused since you were at the edge of where the beach met the woods, but you trusted Marko, so when he got off the bike and held his hand out for you, you took it. 

"What are you up to Romeo?" You giggled as you followed him through the forest.

"Now if I told you that it would ruin the surprise" he grinned back at you. The two of you walked for a little ways, slowly ascending, until the woods began to thin and you stepped out into a clearing that overlooked the ocean, but that wasn't what caught your eye, what caught your eye was the setup before you. A blanket laid over the grass with a basket, two glasses on-top and candles sprinkled throughout the area to give it a warm glow.

"Marko" you gasped, tearing up at the scene, no guy had ever done anything like this before, a quick burger at a fast food joint sure, but not a full blown candlelit picnic overlooking the ocean under a blanket of stars.

"Happy Valentine's Day amore" Marko whispered, gently pulling you towards the scene. You sat down and watched as he pulled a bottle of wine from the basket, glancing up at you and chuckling before saying with a wink.

"Don't worry, it's actual wine" he handed you the glass before pulling out the covered plates of food.

"How were you able to do this?" You asked with a laugh, happily taking the plate, Marko had never cooked for you before.

"I…May have snuck into your house after you left and used your stove" he confessed with a sheepish grin at your shocked expression.

"I'm not even mad cause honestly this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done" you laughed.

"Really? That makes me the best boyfriend then huh?" He grinned.

"Definitely the best boyfriend" you smiled, leaning over and giving him a quick kiss, a kiss that had him chasing your lips when you leaned back.

"I will also forgive you for breaking and entering because this smells absolutely delicious" you gushed, looking down at the plate of pasta.

"Busiate alla Trapanese...it was something my grandmother taught me to make" he confessed, looking at his own plate, and you swore your heart could burst…he made you something that you knew brought up memories of his past life…of good times from the small smile he had.

"I'm honored" you spoke quietly, causing him to look up at you.

"That you made me something from your childhood", his smile soon matched yours, before he just shrugged, happy that it was dark so you couldn't see the slight blush. Before the both of you dug in…and you couldn't stop the moan even if you tried. It was so.freaking.good. 

"Ok…Are you a witch as well as a vampire, cause there is some magic in this, I'm sure of it" you told him, causing him to laugh, chest puffing up a bit in pride.

"I could be" he shrugged.

"You never know" he added with a wink.

"Well if you are I am fully under your spell" you winked back, earning a bigger smile. The both of you finished your food, Marko promising to cook for you more often. And now you were just leaning back against him, looking out at the ocean while you sipped your wine.

"I wish I could have found some Perugina chocolates, you would have loved them" he spoke after a moment, to which you just simply grinned, leaned forward and reached into your bag.

"You mean these?" You asked, looking back at him as you held up the box, watching his eyes widen.

"How did you?"

"I may have asked around, the Sweet Shope on the boardwalk was able to order them for me, straight from Italy babe" you smiled while leaning back into his arms while he happily opened the box on your lap.

"But how did you know?"

"I...may have done some research on how Valentine's Day is celebrated in Italy" you confessed, looking down to hide the blush as you felt Marko go stiff. You suddenly became worried that maybe that was weird, maybe you shouldn't have…and if that was weird then your surprise was gonna be too much. What you didn't expect was you feel his arms tighten around your waist, box of candy temporarily forgotten on your lap as he buried his face in your neck.

"You trying to make me fall in love with you amore?" He chuckled against your skin.

"Maybe?" You blushed.

"Maybe?" He smiled.

"I also have this for you" you told him, grabbing the small box out of your bag. He happily opened it and held up the little bell, a skull with a crown and red jewels in its eyes adorning it.

"It's a bike bell, they say it's–"

"For protection" he finished, kissing your cheek.

"Thank you baby, I love it" he told you before leaning your head back and kissing you. But just as you began to lose yourself in the kiss he began trailing kisses down your cheek and neck.

"I…I may have something else" you spoke hesitantly, causing him to pull his face from your neck.

"Oh?"

"Ho una confessione (I have a confession)" you spoke after a moment, seeing Marko's eyes widen again from the corner of your eye.

"Non mi sono mai sentito così prima (I've never felt like this before)" you tried to remember what you practice, your words coming out a bit slower than you would have liked.

"mi fai sentire così amato, protetto, libero... voluto (you make me feel so loved, protected, free…wanted)"

"Lo so, nella mia anima, non c'è nessun altro per me. non oggi, non mai.(I know, in my soul, there's no one else for me. Not today, not ever.)" 

"ecco perché non ho ripensamenti quando ti chiedo questo (that's why I have no second thoughts when I ask you this)" you took a deep breath and slowly pulled away from his grasp, placing the box of candy on the blanket and turning to face him. A look of pure shock and love adorning his features, and as you looked at him, the moon giving him a soft glow while the candle light danced across his skin. Eyes shining as he looked at you, and lip gently caught by his teeth, almost as if he was trying to keep himself from speaking or smiling too much. You looked at this man, this man who had swept you off your feet in a flurry of laughter, sweet gestures, long talks, wild bike rides and slow walks on the beach, and you knew there was no one else you wanted to spend forever with.

"cambiami (change me)" you finished, watching as his teeth released his lip, mouth opening as he looked at you as if you had just told him the most shocking news.

"Che cosa? (What?)" He asked, unsure he has heard you say the one sentence he had wanted you to say since you met. Surely you hadn't just asked that, in his own native tongue, after confessing how much you loved him,in his own native tongue! Did you know what you were doing to him? Did you know how crazy you were making him? How crazy for you you were making him? 

"Cambiami (change me)" 

There it was again, that simple request that held such a heavy weight and yet you said it as if you had just told him the stars were pretty. But the look on your face said you had thought about it, ran it through your head a thousand times and the answer stayed the same…You wanted to be with him…Forever.

"Amore" he breathed, reaching up to hold your face in his hands, you leaned your forehead against his, smiling as you held his hands.

"per sempre? (Forever?)" He asked, still not believing it.

"Per sempre (Forever)" you smiled, and he leaned forward, crashing his lips to yours to try and show you just how happy you had made him, even though he knew he would never be able to fully show you…But now he had forever to try. Once he pulled away you couldn't help but laugh.

"Is that a yes?" You asked

"Sì, yes just name when and where and we'll make it happen" he smiled.

"As long as it's your blood I'm drinking, no offense to David but I really don't want him as my sire" you laughed

"No way in hell, you're all mine" he spoke while wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his lap.

"Sorry if my Italian wasn't that good.. I'm still learning" you spoke after a moment, earning a groan from him as he pressed his forehead against your chest, holding you tightly. God if you only knew what you did to him.

"Amore, it was perfect"

"Really?" 

"Really, and I will admit…I wasn't expecting it" 

"I wanted to surprise you"

"Was all of it true?" He asked, and you knew that deep down Marko struggled to believe it.

"Every word" you told him

"non c'è nessun altro neanche per me, sei tu amore mio, solo tu (there's no one else for me either, it's you my love, only you)" he spoke, looking at you like you hung the stars.

"Ti amo Marko (I love you Marko)" you breathed.

"Ti amo y/n (I love you y/n)" he whispered before leaning in to capture your lips, his hand cradling your cheek while his other wrapped around your waist. The two of you losing yourself in one another under the night sky. 

"So what other Valentine's traditions do they have in Italy?" You asked after a while as you now laid against Marko, your head resting on his chest.

"Well…there are a few things?" He spoke, a grin that could rival the Cheshire cat making its way across his lips.

🦇🦇🦇🦇

"Come on" he laughed, pulling you along.

"Is this legal? You know what, don't answer that" you laughed.

"Wise choice" he replied as the two of you made your way to the chain fence at the boardwalk. Once stopped, you tried to once again fix your clothes.

"Having some problems amore" he smirked when you shot him a glare that held absolutely no anger.

"Oh no just my boyfriend messing up my clothes to the point I can't get them right again" 

"Mmmm they looked a lot better on the ground" 

"Marko!"

"Just the truth babe" he chuckled while watching you, and watching the earring that swung from your ear as you moved, the earring that matched his. 

"Come on, we do it together" he smiled

"I like the sounds of that" you smiled back.

🦇🦇🦇🦇

The guard would never find out who put the padlock on the fence, or who crudely carved M x F/I into it, though it looked like it was clawed in and that weirded him out to the point of simply leaving it, after all, he didn't have the keys, nor would he ever find the ones that had been tossed into the ocean once the lock was clicked shut.

I hope everyone enjoyed it! Also this is the bell and it can be found on Etsy

[yooo-gehn]

A late night rant about sex

A porn star once had an erectile dysfunction right in the middle of shooting porn, he just couldn't get it up, so you know what he did? The naked super sexy lady on top of him was just not arousing him, so he grapped his phone, and played his favorite porn clip, and shazam, he was back in the game. How crazy meta is that? A porn star needed porn to be sexually functional! Even when he knows exactly how unreal it is. I know it's easy to use this story to condemn porn, but actually screw that.

All I was thinking is damn, sex is never ever as simple as feeling aroused by mere naked bodies. It's a whole complicated very personal world we are taught to automatically feel ashamed of. It's a personal mood, taste, kink, type, fetish, and of course, it starts and ends in the mind. So much so that when it comes to turning yourself on, you can't do it because someone is naked and going down on you, you can only do it with seducing your specific mind with what it sexually craves.

But we are collectively and extremely sex starved that we become nations of hungry people eating the first thing they manage to put in their plate, for a starved person doesn't get to pick what they eat. They go for the bare minimum, or less. That porn star who couldn't get it up still have a better sex life than most people I know. We talk a lot about how bad porn is to the mind because it confirms our worldview, so nobody talks about how bad our actual sex life is, we are either masturbating alone as our little dirty secret, or we are denied our right to even admit we have personal nontraditional sexual cravings, cause you'd instantly be a filthy animal.

I read an article once in Psychology Today about how porn psychologically affects the sex life of married couples, bearing in mind we're Not talking about porn addicts who consume porn excessively, and you know what it basically said? The therapist didn't preach us about how porn automatically damages our sex life, but rather said what I always thought, that couples who had no problem with porn, found it arousing and helpful, and other couples who were uncomfortable with it, found it to be harmful, and consider it disloyalty if they found out their partner watches porn.

So your personal beliefs and preferences can make or break your sexual experience? And manifest itself physically? There's no "one ring that rules them all"? No ultimate manual or guideline that applies on everyone of us? Go figure.

You know, Napoleon once sent a letter to his wife saying "Home in three days, don't bathe", and it never grossed me out, in fact, it felt genuine, intimate sex as it should be, sex IS gross, we're fancy apes, who worry too much about looking our best, like it's a goddamn performance test. Like the brain doesn't fire bursts of electrical impulses from nowehere to nowehere during sex. Like it's not all about how ripe the moment is, how ripe your labia is, how ripe your cock is, how ripe your whole state of being is, and to be with a person who knows how to play the instrument of your body, cause they know, cause they made it safe for you to say, is sexier than every porn clip and every meaningless sex and every traditional soulless sex.

There's been a trend that looks down on passion cause it's a luxury for those who can afford it, missing the fact that just because something is out of reach, doesn't mean it's not important. We adapt to not having passionate lives by claiming it's silly to try to find our passions in life. But you know what eventually happens? We become a porn star doing his job and not be able to command his body to betray its nature. We become a porn star who sooner or later wouldn't be able to get it up.

[devastatedloyallute]

Waiting On A Miracle -A Guitarspear fic, sequel to BTTWS Chapter 4

Summary: Something unexpected happens. ______________

Read on [AO3] 💕 of under the cut! ______________

Lute had seemed to become less affected by the upsetting news she had received from Asmodeus weeks before. Things were almost back to normal now, aside for the occasional weak moments after intimacy. The pleasure was always rewarding, but sometimes the knowledge that it would never result in a child got to her. 

In those weeks Lute was determined to get her head back in the game and start preparing for the next upcoming extermination. There was plenty of work to be done; better armor to order and fit the exorcists with, the training they would need, and the paperwork. Ugh, the paperwork. She was not looking forward to that. 

“Adam, have you put any thoughts into getting those new uniforms ordered?” Lute asked.

Adam stared at her blankly, “Uh…no. Should I have?”

Lute covered her face with her hand, shaking her head, “Just because little miss princess’s hotel is starting to work doesn’t mean we get to slack off.”

“But you-” Adam stopped himself. She had been “slacking off” just as much as he was. Clearly she’s projecting and looking for a way to get her mind off the baby troubles. “Sure, babe. Where should we start?”

“We should start with explaining to everyone what is happening. I assume that they’ve just been off doing their own things since…since last year,” Lute hesitated. She hadn’t even talked to any of them since the last extermination. She had been so stuck in her head coping and taking care of Abel, that the exorcists had barely crossed her mind. Bringing herself back to her line of thought, “We should inform them that the hotel and its people are strictly off limits. With any luck, she should know to keep them indoors to avoid any accidents.”

Adam nodded, “Sounds good, and uh, you going to work up training plans? Or should I?”

“I’ll do it,” Lute snorted a laugh. “You can do the physical portion though,” she flashed him a wink.

Adam grinned. It was great to see her acting normal again.

As the early morning sun rose, casting its light through the windows, Lute found herself once again in the bathroom. Still wishfully hoping for a miracle to happen, she had taken another pregnancy test. After placing the test on the sink counter for it to process, Lute threw her head into her hands, ‘Why am I still doing this to myself…’

After anxiously waiting those few minutes, Lute begrudgingly reached for the test, her eyes closed because she knew what she was going to see anyway and didn’t want to be right, ‘Why am I even bothering with–’ Opening her eyes revealed that extra blue line she had been wanting to see, ‘–this.’ Her breathing began to shallow the longer she stared at the item in her hand. She could hear her heart beat pounding in her ears. ‘What? How is this possible? Maybe this one’s defective,’ she reached for the packaging to check for an expiration date but didn’t find one. Things don’t expire in Heaven, silly.

Lute clutched the positive test in her hand, part of her fearing that if she let go of it that it would disappear. Stepping into the kitchen, Adam was trying his best to make something that one could consider breakfast. Hearing her footsteps drag along the floor, Adam poked his head up, “Woah, you’re looking paler than usual somehow, you feeling okay?”

Still in shock, all she could do was hold the test out in the palm of her hand and hope she wouldn’t have to say anything. She wasn’t sure she could force her mouth to say any form of words or even sounds. Adam tilted his head in confusion, eyeing her down until he realized what she was holding. His eyes widened. He hadn’t realized she would still be taking these. This was pure luck on his part because he had no way of trying to coerce her into taking one, it being a sensitive topic and all, and on top of that not wanting to out himself. 

He carefully took the test from her hand to get a better look. Yup, that shows two lines alright. Not that he had any doubts, of course. He let the test slip from his grasp as he lifted her by the waist into the air, “Holy fucking shit!”

Lute breathed a faint yelp as he raised her, automatically wrapping her arms around his neck. She couldn’t help but smile as he littered her cheeks with kisses, “It– It’s probably just a false positive, so let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.”

“What? Babe! This is fan-fucking-tastic!” Adam exclaimed as he returned her feet to the floor.

Lute looked at the fallen test on the floor, crossed her arm over her chest and ran the cool metal along her skin, “…It’s just that…I was told it wasn’t possible. And now it’s showing positive? I’m just in disbelief…” She paused, looking up at him. “I’m sorry, but I don’t want to get our hopes up on an impossibility…” She pressed herself against him as she felt she couldn't hold herself up. The weight on her heart was too much. 

“It’ll be okay, babe. No matter the outcome, we’ll be alright,” Adam wrapped his arms tightly around her. 

Lute nodded into him before pulling away and wiping the tear threatening to run down her cheek. “I know...thank you,” she whispered as Adam caressed her cheek and ran his thumb over her cheekbone before kissing her forehead. She softly smiled at him before making a face when catching a scent of smoke in the air, “I think your breakfast is burning.”

“AHH- No!” Adam yelled as he went to check the stove. With a chuckle, Lute bent over to pick up the discarded test. She looked at it discouragingly as she placed it into her nightstand beside the bed. Maybe it’s a false positive, but…it’s sentimental in a way.

Returning to Adam in the kitchen, Lute pressed into him, hugging him from behind. With a whisper she sighed, “If I start showing, maybe then I’ll start to believe it.”

After a brief moment of quiet, Adam turned to hug her properly and kiss her. Breaking away from the kiss she laughed, “But that doesn’t mean making me eat more to make it seem like I’m pregnant when I’m not.” She raised her pitch to mock what he’d say, “You gotta eat so the baby will grow!”

“Hey but that’s true!” Adam laughed.  “You do gotta eat more when you’re growing a whole ass baby in your tummy!”

“Alright, alright. Don’t be so loud, Abel’s still sleeping,” Lute shushed.

“We gonna tell him when he gets up?”

“No. As I said, this was supposed to be an impossibility, and so who’s to know if it even stays viable. Things could happen that we have no control over. So we’ll wait,” she said cooly, regaining that stoicness she inadvertently used as a way to protect her emotions.

As the coming months passed, Lute had indeed began showing, even if only a little, much to her surprise. Adam however, couldn’t contain his enjoyment. Every morning that Lute exited their bedroom and came down the hallway, he would immediately meet her and frame her belly with his hands, and nuzzle his face into her. 

“Would you stop that, there’s barely anything there,” she would say with an eye roll. But who was she kidding, she loved it.

Adam turned his face to peer up at her, and with the most seriousness, “Never.”

Over those months, despite the occasional bouts of morning sickness, Lute had to admit she wouldn’t have it any other way. This would all be worth it, right?

One afternoon a knock came at the door. Emily had stopped by for a quick check in. Okay, maybe Adam had texted her and told her everything because there was absolutely no way he would be able to keep this excitement to himself. Besides, Emily was the entire reason they were able to do this, so of course she should be in the loop. He did have to remind her to “play dumb” and act as though she has no idea of the pregnancy.

“What?! Oh my gosh guys, that's amazing!! Congratulations!! Oh my gosh, I have so many questions!” Emily exploded into tears and cheers when Lute told her she was pregnant. Adam of course pushed her a little into sharing. He didn’t mind, sharing the news with one person wouldn’t hurt.

“Ask away, might have answers for ya,” Adam smirked.

“Ooh okay so first things first! Have you told Abel yet??” Emily asked, peeking down the hallways towards his room. “What does he think? Where is he?”

Lute shook her head, “Not yet. We wanted- well, I wanted to wait until we fully knew for sure. It’s been a handful of months now though and to be honest it’s getting a bit difficult to hide.”

“And Abel is actually over at the daycare. He wanted to spend the day with his friends there, we’re picking him up later,” Adam cut in.

Emily gave an understanding nod, “Okay next, boy or girl?! Which is it, which do you want?!”

“We aren’t picky,” Lute said, shooting Adam a look.

Adam shrugged, “I’m leaning towards girl, buuuut…honestly? Doesn’t really matter.”

“What about name ideas then?” Emily asked giddily.

Adam swiped his hand, “Nope! I’ve named enough things, that’s gonna be all her.”

Lute rolled her eyes with a grin, “Not really, no.”

A silence fell through the room before Lute cleared her throat to speak, “Actually, Emily. I have a question or two for you.”

“Uh, sure!” Emily hesitated and bit her cheek. Was she about to figure out their little plan? Did she come off too knowing somehow?

“I was wondering if perhaps you knew how long angelic pregnancies are? Don’t get me wrong, this has literally been a blessing and half, but how much longer will I have to wait?” Lute asked. “...I miss sushi,” she pensively whispered to herself aloud.

“Yeah I was thinking about that too. Are they like human pregnancies where they take like nine months, or are they longer?” Lute made a disgusted face at Adam when he implied at the chance it could be longer.

Emily pursed her lips in thought, “Uhmmm…Gee I don’t actually know! It’s not very often a new angel is born…I could always ask Sera?”

“No!” Adam had hollered louder than he had meant to. “I mean– Nooo need to get her involved, right? We don’t need to have her on our case, being all helicopter-y. She doesn’t need to know our business. We want to surprise everyone, after all,” Adam explained as he stepped over to the couch behind Lute and rubbed her shoulders, all while staring Emily down.

Lute raised a brow at him skeptically before looking back to Emily, “I was only curious because of the extermination. I need to try and plan around that.”

“Oew…you’re still doing those…Right,” Emily recoiled.

“Well, she’s not, but yes,” Adam clarified. Lute opened her mouth to argue but was interrupted by Adam covering her mouth, “Nope, shut your face. We went over this.” Lute tried to lick herself free from his hold, but as he was accustomed to that being her way to get out of their play fights, he ignored it.

Unintelligible muffled grumbled noises continued to come from her as Adam resorted to petting her hair like one would a cat. “Anyway, yeah she’s not going because if going to Hell will trigger a period, then what the fuck is it gonna do while she’s pregnant? Yeah, I don't wanna find out. Not taking that chance, so be mad all you want,” he stuck his tongue out at her when he tipped her head back. Lute snarled at him, returning the gesture.

Emily looked between the two and smiled, “That does make sense, a miscarriage would be horrible! Or any other compilations would be bad too…Which reminds me, you are seeing a doctor, right?”

The room fell silent.

“Nothing has been wrong so why would she?” Adam asked bluntly.

Emily squished her face in disbelief and horror, “You’re supposed to be getting prenatal care! Even I know that much!”

“Pfft, that shit wasn’t around when my kids were born, sooo how would I know? Everything turned out fine then,” Adam waved nonchalantly.

Emily ran a hand down her face, “Oh my gosh, unbelievable. Okay. Lute, I will get you an appointment set up and then you’re both going.”

“That might not be–” Adam bit his tongue before he said something that would out him, “–such a bad idea! Thanks kid, you’re a lifesaver.”

Later when they arrived back home with Abel, they sat him down on the couch to tell him the news. They sat on either side of him. Adam began, “Abel, we’ve got some big news, you wanna hear it?”

“Big good news, or big bad news?” Abel asked innocently.

“It’s big good news,” Lute reassured.

“Oh okay!”

“You’re gonna be a big brother soon,” Adam said with a soft voice and smile.

Abel’s eyes lit up, “Wait, you mean–” he looked to Lute and down to her basketball sized belly, “there is a baby in there?”

“Mhm, you’ve got a little brother or sister cooking up in mama’s tummy,” Adam lightly rubbed at the baby bump.

“You can touch, Abel. You might even feel them kick,” Lute offered.

Abel gently placed his hands onto her belly, waiting and watching in wonder. When the baby did kick at him, Abel withdrew his hands to his face giggling. “When will I get to meet them?”

“You sort of already are,” Lute said with a light chuckle.

Abel looked at Lute for a long moment before he spoke, “I kind of had an idea that there was a baby in there, but I didn’t want to say anything and be rude…”

“What do you mean you “had an idea”? They teach you about babies and shit in that daycare?” Adam asked with abrupt laughter. Abel shyly shrugged his shoulders, in that little kid way that means, ‘I don’t really know, I’m just pretending to know.’

“Mama?”

“Yes?”

“Is it gonna be a boy like me?”

Lute ruffled his hair, “We don’t know yet, buddy. I think we’re going to wait until they’re born to find out.”

“Oh! Right, hey kiddo, this is top secret information! We’re planning a big surprise for when the baby’s born, so you can’t tell anyone,” Adam made a shushed gesture to his lips. Abel nodded and pretended to zip his lips.

Lute lifted a brow in thought. There was him mentioning surprises again. It seemed strange, but then again she would rather not be the center of attention, so keeping things ‘a surprise’ was just fine by her.

Has Lute caught on to Adam's little secret? Return of the artwork!! 😁💕

[writingpei]

wicked games (l.m.) - chapter fourteen

previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

pairing: lee minho x reader genre: academic rivals to lovers wc: 5.2k words

i still don't know where everything went

it was practically possible to hear the sound of the clock hands moving second by second in the silent room, filling the environment with a constant tick-tock. the pen's weight was tangible in her palm, as if it were made of lead, and the rhythm of its heavy strain fed the up and down movement of her chest, drenched in nervousness that didn't seem to have disappeared.

the minutes continued to pass, and the questions on the physics test in front of y/n were answered one by one, with absolute caution, as if she was following a fragile surgery, as if at any moment some bogeyman might appear out of nowhere in the room if she wasn't delicate.

she was well aware that her decision to go to work had significantly reduced the time she would put into her academic performance, but she was never someone who allowed herself to be easily shaken.

now, it was no longer her who taught hyunjin, but studied with him, keeping an eye out for the materials he reviewed when there weren't any in the cafe so that she could take advantage of even the free seconds she had, which became scarcer with the pass the days.

she knew she was being left behind in the eternal competition that was her and minho's relationship, and despite all the hate that many viewers would consider "uncalled for", she found herself a little scarred by an anger that burned her chest like a forrest. fire whenever she saw him in the hallways, backs against lockers laughing out loud at silly things with his friends without a care in the world. the poster child for the aristocratic lifestyle of today's society, a boy with the world in his hands and people who worked for him cleaning his shoes kneeling on the floor of the huge mansion he lived in.

it was nothing more than a raw and genuine hatred inside y/n when all the paths her mind went through when thinking about minho came to the inevitable conclusion that this, all of this was a sport for him. studying was a sport, getting good grades was a sport, excelling, being popular, winking at dumb girls across the cafeteria like you were television's newest heartthrob. it was all one big joke and when she looked at how she led her life, the lack of jokes was almost suffocating, a snake around her neck all the time just waiting for the right time to coil completely against her flesh.

when she felt pathetic, she tried to imagine him cleaning the cafeteria bathrooms using only a toilet brush, or having to listen to customers throwing tantrums over a cup of coffee with a smile on his face, not being able to retort or shout back. these thoughts brought her out of her own exasperated situation and made her laugh. she couldn't tell if it was because of the strangeness of minho's presence in these scenarios, how he would look wearing the uniform she has to wear every day, or if it was because, greater than this hatred was the restless desire that maybe, just maybe, lee minho wasn't exactly how she imagined he was.

but she knew it was impossible for that to be real. it was impossible because minho had only shown her his true personality, so she knew her like no one else.

the anger heats up until it cools down and settles in the throat like a stone, accompanied by a feeling of disgust. despite the considerable efforts she had made, her second-place name on the huge ranking list at the entrance to the school screamed in her face that they hadn't been enough. and the damn name of minho was above hers. she could only feel disgust. disgusted because of him? it was no longer a surprise to anyone. however, the disgust she felt was mostly directed at herself. she should have studied harder, spent more late nights studying until her hand ached and her eyes burned with exhaustion.

but now it was too late, and his failure was exposed to all who walked those halls. the feeling of dismay followed her, like a constant shadow, reminding her that her expectations were not met and that she had lost the opportunity to win.

as soon as she turned to flee to the classroom for her first class of the day, she saw minho walking towards the panel, eyes glazed over the top to see who had won, who had gotten the best grade.

she didn't wait long to witness the look of satisfaction on his stupid face and soon she was stomping against the floor, a red fury circling her entire body and she didn't even consider taking a step to the side to avoid him, and she certainly didn't feel pity when she bumped into him with her shoulder, knocking him off balance slightly.

she only heard a scoff behind her but didn't even bother to turn around, however much she felt like it when she heard him whisper “you need to be tamed, jesus”

but, contrary to what one might imagine, no ghost of a smile appeared on minho's lips when he saw his name at the top. all he could think about was what it meant to have his name on top of all those others, a hierarchy. he imagined his father's satisfaction at seeing him do exactly what he'd demanded, a silent submission, a reminder that minho was just the son and that no matter how much he kicked and rebelled, his father would always win.

he felt a bitter taste in his mouth.

“minho" yongbok appeared beside him magically, as if he had materialized there. “i met professor choi on his way here and he asked me to give you your test and congratulated you on first place”

the sheet of paper that yongbok held out to minho made a wave of discomfort run down his spine, but he took it from his best friend's hand none the less.

he looks down at the sheet and looks at the shoulder where the girl had bumped into it on purpose for a few seconds, before the urge to rip the test in half takes over him. ripped it into a thousand pieces and threw it in the nearest garbage, leaving yongbok with a dumbfounded expression on his face.

he pointed at minho, then at the trash can, then at minho, then at the trash can.

“but… why?” he asked.

“it’s just a stupid test, yongie” he shrugged putting his hands in the pocket of his uniform pants and walking unbothered while some people congratulated him on his performance in the hall.

but yongbok didn't understand, so he chose to ask more.

“stupid? i thought you cared about that kind of thing”

“no, at least not now. i have other things keeping me up all night”

“i wonder who that is…” yongbok whispers and pushes the big glasses back into place with his finger.

“what was that?” minho asks suspiciously, having just heard rumbles coming from the friend. minho still can't quite catch the things he whispers when he doesn't want him to hear. it's a normal thing to happen within their friendship, yongbok doesn't know how to shut up and minho can't mature enough to leave his nosy lifestyle behind.

“do you want to go with me to the varsity basketball game on friday?” yongbok asks him as they walk through the noisy halls. minho never went to a basketball game with him in all their years of friendship because when minho didn't want to do something, nothing could make him do it, it didn't matter how much he loved his best friend.

but this time, unlike previous opportunities, minho had a real and concrete reason for not wanting to go. a person, to be precise. as he dragged his steps down the hall, he could see the blond boy approaching, standing out among the other bustling and noisy football players. a feeling of disgust that rose from his feet to his head in a matter of seconds took over his entire body, while yongbok, beside him, seemed mesmerized by the presence of the school's basketball team.

minho's eyes locked on the approaching figure. he had never noticed hwang hyunjin until he bloomed in his field of vision like a very insistent weed. apparently he was the only one who hadn't fallen into the hands of the undeniable charisma he didn't care to hide. for minho, beneath that charming smile and effortless charm, there's something about hyunjin that rubbed him the wrong way. he couldn't explain if it was a gratuitous animosity that resided in the back of his mind, but it was strong enough to make his breath get heavier every time he saw him.

his friend turns to him so quickly, minho wonders if he had a whiplash.

“please minhoooo” for a second he thinks that yongbok, the shy and withdrawn boy who never raised his hand to ask a classroom question in his life was going to kneel on the floor of the packed hallway and beg.

the group of basketball players passes by the two and the air in the hallway disappears for minho. hyunjin smiles at his friends without a care in the world as he hears one of them saying “hyunjin, your pitch was great! i've never seen anyone score that far from the basket!”, cheeks reddening a little at the cheers of his teammates.

minho's eyes travel between him and his friend a few times, until his expression suddenly darkens and he turns to yongbok. “calm down” he says, seeing his best friend's anxious expression. “no need to make a scandal out of it, i’ll go with you”

the words are bitter in his throat but yongbok opens a huge smile and it seems once again that he is going to throw himself on his knees in the corridor, this time to thank him, but minho doesn't give him time to do that and soon starts walking towards the classroom for their first class, lip between teeth and head away from where his feet were taking him.

y/n has never had an easy time functioning in crowded places, a bonus is when those (many) people are screaming like animals and squirming in their seats as if they were trying to keep from flying off their chairs.

her constant hesitation to enter the large gymnasium in the midst of all the revelry and excitement was constant throughout his journey from the cafe to school, under the slowly darkening sky, leaving a gentle farewell to the brightness of the day and giving way to night. her journey was longer than she thought it was going to be, partly because her shift had been increased by a few minutes and her insecurity forced her feet to walk more slowly, needless to say, she was obviously late.

but all roads lead to rome or whatever, and she's been staring at the entrance to the gym for the last few minutes as if, if she walked in, she would be consumed by it.

the screams that rang out to her from the other side, outside the party, were wild and just made her want to get as far away as she could and go seek comfort in the dark and lonely cubicle that was her home, but her feet remained rooted to the ground, neither going in nor leaving.

she just found the courage to put her hand on the doorknob because she remembered the message that hyunjin had sent her earlier: a photo of the place he had reserved specifically for her. it was a front row seat, the most privileged and coveted by those who genuinely enjoy that spectacle of sweaty men hitting each other and running like dogs after a ball.

the seat was the most apparent and she was late, hyunjin must have noticed. she just opened the door because of that. she didn't want to upset him and destabilize him in his most important game, and he really wanted her to be there, for some reason.

sea ​​of ​​screams and cheers hit her full on as soon as the door was opened and the exasperated sound of tennis shoes against the polished wood of the court floor showed that the game was already close. y/n walked quickly to the only empty seat right in front of the court, where there was a yellow sticky note with the word “RESERVED” written in large, shaky letters, staining the paper black.

she sat quickly, taking in every detail of what was going on around her. hyunjin's team was dressed in vibrant orange jerseys, while the rival school's team sported uniforms in a deep shade of dark blue. the players on hyunjin's team moved around the court with an almost choreographed precision, like roots in a perfectly rehearsed dance.

the ball did not remain for more than five seconds in the hands of a single player, passing quickly from one side to the other. it was a frenzy of intense contests, a relentless battle for control of the element that dictates the game. every possession was a source of palpable tension.

it wasn't hard to find hyunjin in the middle, the hair gave it away, vibrating as if it wanted to be seen, to draw attention. he had a focused look on his face, his feet moving him across the court with mastery, and for the first time, she could understand why he wanted so badly to devote his life to this. she definitely hadn't seen him with the same full of life eyes looking at the endless math worksheets.

the court came alive with every jump, every dribble and every accurate shot. energy pulsed through the air, enveloping everyone present, as excited fans applauded and cheered with each play behind her back. it was as if the game itself was a living entity with a life of its own.

in the blink of an eye the ball stops in hyunjin's hands. his eyes quickly scanned the opposing defense, looking for an opening, and with a dribble he was already heading towards the basket. his purposeful stride, hard against the floor, stopped abruptly and morphed into a jump, and at the apex of his rise, he reached out, releasing the ball in a perfect arc.

the entire gym exploded with joy as soon as the ball went into the basket. hyunjin returned to the floor with a smile and a heavy breath, and his gaze went directly to her chair, regretting y/n not having seen his move.

but she had already arrived and was right there.

y/n didn't scream or jump, but a discreet smirk and slow clapping was her celebration for her friend's point, and he was happy because that was the most he could get out of her in that situation. she found herself silently rooting for hyunjin and his team, even though she didn't want to admit it. she didn't want to budge on something she considered so silly, but they were friends now, weren't they? hyunjin had said they were, but his words that could very well be empty didn't make her discover what it was like to be friends with someone overnight, and as much as she imagined that the normal thing within a friendship was to share that kind of joy, the idea of ​​opening herself up to someone still made her body tingle and her breath hitch.

but at that moment, where his teammates were ruffling her hair and congratulating him, she couldn't stop herself from clapping louder, only stopping when the game had returned to normal and the frantic rushing back and forth across the street square will return.

her attention, however, was stolen when her phone started to vibrate inside her purse, which was an unusual occurrence, giving that she almost never received messages.

she reached down to retrieve it from the bag that was on the floor beside her chair, and her breath caught in her throat when she saw the “ignore” contact texting.

ignore:

i need to talk to you

ignore:

it's about the study groups thing we have to prepare

her gaze goes up once more to the game, but the magic was gone, which was normal with anything that lee minho got into; for her, ruined. a wave of anger crept up her spine like a parasite. why did he have to send a message right now? it wasn't like she expected minho not to be an inconvenience in general, but she wasn't going to stop being irritated with him no matter how much his antics were awaited.

y/n:

i can't, i'm busy

the message was written with exasperated fingers, and quickly sent. but realized she had forgotten to add something.

y/n:

and don't text me anymore, i'll talk to you tomorrow morning

when she was about to put the phone back in her purse, the screen lit up again, revealing yet another message. she couldn't fight the instinct to ignore it and soon brought it close to her face once more.

ignore:

own, you'd rather i call than text and you're too embarrassed to admit it?

ignore:

if you want to hear my voice so badly, let's meet in the schoolyard to talk about what we have to do

her face heated with anger and embarrassment, even though she was never going to admit that he elicited any reaction from her that wasn't just hatred and disgust.

y/n:

no

y/n:

i already told you i'm busy, minho, i know you can't help but be a pain in the ass 24/7 but now is not a good time, you'll have a lot of time to bother me tomorrow

her attention was snapped back to the game once more as the crowd roared, and apparently hyunjin had scored yet another point. he was smiling as he looked at her in the crowd and gave her a thumbs up, which she instinctively returned without thinking.

the messages stopped for a few minutes and she thought he had left her alone once and for all, but the shy vibration that indicated a new message made her huff and quickly bring the phone closer.

ignore:

i thought you really wanted to be student president, but i guess you just wanted the win, my mistake

ignore:

i'll have to do all of it by myself…

and now he was teasing her pride at his fingertips, and the anger she knew so well every time she interacted with or thought about him came on like a lightswitch.

minho knew he was pushing all the right buttons to piss her off, partly because of years of practice with everything to do with her and partly because he was looking at her, higher up in the bleachers, with a hawk's stare.

from the moment she had entered the court, his eyes had been irrevocably drawn to her, as if she were a walking magnet, and there they remained fixed for a long time. not even when Yongbok grabbed him by the arm, anticipating the basket the player was about to make, could he look away. it was so impossible to even imagine seeing her there, at a high school basketball game. however, what made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up was his theory about why she was there. the motive for that was inside the court, moving majestically across the polished floor with a cockiness that minho thought was all he could take in about him. y/n's eyes were glued to hyunjin's figure, and somewhere in his chest he swore that she was playing with his ego somehow, even though he didn't fully understand what that meant.

he was overcome by a brutally suffocating feeling and felt an unchanging urge that he needed to do something soon to break the gaze she was extending towards hyunjin. he needed it, it was almost vital, but if someone asked him why he would have nothing to answer, but he wasn't worried about his lack of motives, much less his thoughts about what it said about him and what he possibly felt for her instead of the insignificance and disdain he so pledged to feel.

he took the cell phone in a swift motion from the pocket of his uniform blazer and went straight to the contact list.

minho had lied the last time they'd seen each other, during the incident of sooyound locking them in the file room. he'd had her number for years, since begining of high school. it had been very difficult to get it and it really was a long journey, but when he got an idea in his head, he didn't give up easily. what if he wanted to start pestering through her on her phone too? what if she disappeared out of nowhere and never went to class again? what if he just wanted to talk to her? it was always good to be prepared, he told himself during the nights when he had trouble sleeping and he checked the list of contacts just to prove to himself that she was still there, that the contact hadn't been magically erased.

one day he had called her in the middle of the night, a year before, just to test if that number really belonged to her. it was two in the morning and the night was silent, so silent it was too loud for me, and sleep would not come to him at all, no matter how many times he tossed and turned in bed. the cell phone magically appeared in his hand and the contact was already open, curiosity bubbled in his chest and he didn't fight against it for a long time, pressing on top of the phone icon and quickly touching the cell phone to his ear.

the ringing noise seemed to go on forever, and minho was starting to get anxious. for a second, he was afraid that she would know he was the one calling and his fingers itched to hang up the call, but as soon as he moved the phone an inch away from his ear, the noise ceased and was replaced by silence.

"hello?" her voice is hoarse on the other end of the line, showing that she had just woken up.

minho's mouth opened slightly, wondering what to reply, but he stopped himself from letting any words escape his lips. perhaps, if he spoke, everything would be ruined, and a giant inexplicable fear rose in his chest.

“it’s 2 in the morning, what the hell...” he could hear her scoff, but it was in a different way from the scoffs she gave in his presence. she sounded more vulnerable, there was a fragility that seemed to echo in her very core. he was also vulnerable. he didn't know if it was the nocturnal silence that stripped him of his usual mask, the games and teasing that used to mark their interactions, but he did know that it was very different from anything he'd ever been through together with her.

“say something” she whispered on the other end of the line like an impatient but gentle plea. gentle was never a word he thought he could use with her, but all the others he could say fled his mind. the sound of her breathing echoed free as he held his to make as little sound as possible on his end of the line. “say something or i will hang up” she says, more determined but still nowhere near her usual attitude.

minho didn't say anything, he just took his hand slowly until it reached his face and covered his own mouth, pressing it. he knew he wouldn't say anything, but even so, he found it necessary to physically forbid himself, as if something was taking over him and he opened his mouth and said something he shouldn't.

she remained for a few more seconds that seemed eternal, only the sound of her breathing and some groans of tiredness for being woken up reached minho's ears, but he waited patiently to see what she would do.

“well, have a good night then” she said softly and minho brought his legs closer to his chest, curling up. “since you decided to call someone at 2 in the morning and not say anything…” she was stubborn no matter the situation. “don’t wake up anyone else with prank calls like you did right now” was the last thing he heard before the call was disconnected. if he was no longer able to sleep, the rest of his night was spent awake trying to imagine if what had happened had just been a hallucination in his head and, after that, he never dared to look at her contact again.

that is, until that moment.

he opened her contact and started sending her messages, messages where he feigned disdain but gulped as he wrote. when she looked away from the phone to look at hyunjin and give him a thumbs up that's when his patience was cut short and he let out a huff through his nose and sat on the edge of his seat, gripping his phone tightly.

“nice shot!” yongbok exclaimed, clapping his hands wildly to celebrate the school's lead in the game. it was only then that he realized that minho's body was turned sideways towards the court, not even watching the game, and after whispering a "what are you doing?" softly, his eyes followed the direction where his best friend was looking, and noticed the scene, where hyunjin was looking at her right after scoring his point and minho's knuckles turning white around the cell phone, which was open in a chat with a contact with the name “y/n”.

“what are you doing?” yongbok repeated it louder this time so that minho could hear. he didn't turn around to answer his friend, he just lowered his head and went back to looking at his cell phone and typing quickly.

“solving something” he answered simply.

minho, now without self-restraint, opted to openly tease her, joking about the fact that she won the election just to get a rise out of her. and he knew it had worked, because her shoulders hunched as she read what he'd written.

the typing symbol appeared, then disappeared, then appeared again and disappeared from view again. minho waited for her answer, tapping his foot impatiently on the floor.

y/n:

you have 1 minute and that's it

and her answer made a smile appear on his face, and when she started to rise discreetly from her chair, he quickly got to his feet and started to dodge the people sitting next to him, trying to get to her as quickly as possible.

y/n waited to get out of her chair in the middle of a play, while hyunjin wasn't looking, and made sure to leave her purse on top of the chair so he knew she didn't just leave. she walked discreetly to the entrance of the gym, and when she had passed through the door and was closing it, it was opened on the other side, where minho appeared right in front of her.

her breath shook as soon as she saw him, and he was panting as if he'd hurried to get to her. the realization that he too was watching the game and yet pestering her to talk to her made her even more uncomfortable, and she just took a step back to put distance between them and crossed her arms.

“1 minute, and don't abuse it” she turns around until she leans her back against the wall next to the door and looks at him with her head up and her nose in the air.

minho just took short steps until he stood in front of her, regaining the closeness she broke off, a huge gratification in getting her out of the gym that he couldn't explain.

“sooyoung spoke to me today, she said that we need to do full reports with all students who are interested in joining the tutoring group. i'll do one part and you'll do the other, then we'll put it all together when it's ready,” he says, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth that he can't quite control.

"is that it?" she asked in disbelief. “is that the only reason you were bugging me nonstop?”

"me?" he chuckled and also crossed his arms, mimicking her. “bugging you? what are you talking about, y/n? i was just talking to you, it's not my fault you get so rilled up every time you talk to me"

she rolled her eyes and stepped away from the wall, taking a small step towards him and looking him in the eyes.

"is that it?"

the proximity made minho stop for a few seconds, just looking back at her, thinking of something to reply to her. time passed slowly and he only awoke from his trance and looked away when a wave of cheers erupted in the gym and escaped through the thin door beside them. he swallows hard and takes a micro step back, backing up slightly.

“that was it” he whispers without any jokes or comebacks, because during all that time nothing came to his mind except the memory of the day he called her in the middle of the night, as if that memory that had been kept for so long had been unlocked into his brain without further ado.

she snorts with a know-it-all look and tries to circle him to make her way back to the gym, but an anxiety creeps up his spine and he unconsciously steps to the side and places himself in front of her once more. she stops in her step so she doesn't bump into him and looks up at him again, confused by his sudden movement.

“what the hell, minh-” before she could finish the sentence, the door next to them bursts open, and hwang hyunjin, breathing quickly for air, appears in their field of vision.

hyunjin looks at y/n and opens a smile the size of the universe and doesn't even notice minho's presence, and even after noticing, he doesn't care.

“y/n!” he exclaims, walking up to the two. "where have you been? you missed the endgame!”

he grabs her by the shoulders and pulls her out of minho's way.

“oh…” she starts to say, shame rising in her chest. she gives minho an angry look, before turning her attention to her friend once more. “i’m sorry, i…”

“we won!” hyunjin exclaims and the hands on her shoulders yanked her forward as he led her back into the gym. “let's go celebrate! you left your bag in there too, didn't you?"

the door closes, leaving minho alone in the night breeze. he gives in to the uncontrollable urge to bring his hands to his face and press them hard against his eyes, wondering what the fuck has been wrong with him lately, and why the shoulders that were relaxed before in her brief presence are tense, once again.

stay tuned for chapter 15! new chapters (almost) every sunday ☆

taglist: @liphglos@kiyoomimybeloved@lilactangerine @swiftlydirectioning @lethallyprotected @yhawnnzz @whatthefsposts@sleepyleeji @ddazed-lhs @thatoneperson1911 @poutingbean (if you want to be a part of the taglist, send me an ask, comment or message <3)

[undertale-encyclopedia]

Heres some games ive been playing:

Mario Wonder is very cool and a fun mario game, dont think its winning any serious awards though.

Got back to playing Super Lesbian Animal RPG, if you are any one of those adjectives i suggest checking it out. Cute and emotional and really funny and epic swaggy. i think theres a demo on their website also.

Mario RPG remake is fun. i found the lack of a more detailed soundscape to be odd, no text noises and some enemies look like they should be making sounds but dont. i played the original like 4 years ago and thought it was fine, this feels more fun to play than that.

New Warioware was a little disappointing. No silly toys to unlock and motion controls were a little unresponsive at points.

I played a little bit of Who's Lila, which is like... a horror puzzle game about controlling your face? Its SO weird and so confusing and i got lost and kinda just dropped it. No idea about anything at all in this game.

My friend convinced me to play Dont Starve Together. A lot of "What the fuck do i do to live" and then "Ok everything i do makes it harder to survive". Started getting fun like 10 hours in once i started understanding things a bit more.

Deltarune Chapter 3 was alright, Stylep Groove was maybe my favorite song even though the fuckin channel switching puzzle was awful. Pierre my beloved....

Im not good at thinking, but despite that I decided to start playing FEZ. I havent gotten to anything really puzzley yet but so far its charming.

Other hyperfixation i have rn is Keyboards. Im looking into getting a pretty custom keyboard that sounds nice and feels good. Im still researching switches, ordered some test ones today! Dont know what im gonna do about a case though, but i know i need a hotswappable one because i REFUSE to solder anything. (if you have any suggestions please let me know :) )

And uhhh think thats about it WAIT! Music recommendations. Very into Vylet Pony rn, and EX-LYD released a new single thats pretty nice. Also slowly going through Patricia Taxxon's "TECHDOG", which goes from "strange, slightly overwhelming noise that are sometimes bops" to "i feel like i just jacked my brain into a computer and god is speaking to me through it".

alright thats it. have fun today :)

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: july 2023

I don't have a cool and witty opening for this one. I read a fuck of a lot of books this month and I want to tell you about them LET'S GO

Black Water Sister (Zen Cho, 2021) - Black Water Sister has a very fun premise: a closeted lesbian and unemployed recent graduate moves back to Malaysia with her parents and is already having a bad enough time when she starts hearing the voice of her dead grandmother, who turns out to have been deeply involved in supernatural organized crime. our hapless protagonist becomes a medium against her will, and has to navigate to world of Malaysian spirits and superstition to lay her grandma to rest. unfortunately the actual style of the story wasn't more me; although definitely adult fiction, the prose is breezy in a way I affiliate strongly with YA, which is not to my personal taste but is still so hashtag valid. if you're one of the countless people trying to make that jump from YA to adult fiction and you like queer urban fantasy then Black Water Sister might be a great fit for you, although I should provide a warning for a pretty surprisingly graphic near-rape in the book's climax that really took me by surprise in a story that's otherwise pretty zany in its violence.

The Bride Test (Helen Hoang, 2019) - I think I said last month that Alexis Hall's A Lady for a Duke was the best so far of the romance-novel-every-month scheme I'm trying to pull off this year. the Bride Test has pretty swiftly displaced it; have I finally discovered the really good romance novels? (worry not; I know what I'm reading for August and my hopes are. low.) our two protagonists, Mỹ/Esme (her chosen American/English name) and Khai, are both genuinely charming and are pretty strong characters independent of each other, which cannot be said for A Lot of romance protags. despite the absolute insanity of how they met (yes, Khai's mother went to Vietnam and offered, uneducated a poor single mother a tourist visa in exchange for trying to seduce her autistic son. yes, that's shady. don't think about it too hard) and Esme waiting until WAY too late in the game to reveal the existence of HER LIVING HUMAN CHILD, I liked this book a lot. it's silly and heartfelt and I had fun; what else do you need? 5/5 eggplant emojis.

Giovanni's Room (James Baldwin, 1956) - there's probably nothing I can say about Giovanni's Room that I could say that someone smarter and gayer hasn't already said, but god. it really is breathtaking. I so often see this book talked about as a gay tragedy, and honestly that feels like almost too glib of a description. it's a really meticulous dissection of white male masculinity and the claustrophobic constraints there of, and our narrator's claustrophobic fear of divesting himself from the power that he's entitled to by virtue of being a white American man perceived as a heterosexual. this man would rather live in repressed misery for his entire life than risk being like those effeminate faggots at the gay club, but spoiler alert! being miserable doesn't make you better than your fellow fags; it just means you're miserable AND a fag. sharp and painful and so so so smart. also I'm going to summon @zaricats because I was supposed to tell you what I thought about this book. oops!

Lone Women (Victor LaValle, 2023) - okay so listen. did I just say Black Water Sister wasn't really for me because of the simplistic prose? yes. did I really enjoy the very sparse, straightforward style of Lone Women? also yes. leave me alone, I contain contradictions. anyway, Lone Women is a ripping piece of historical fiction spliced with supernatural secrets, based on LaValle's research into 19th century Black women homesteaders who made their lives in Montana. LaValle opens on a scene of irresistible intrigue - Adelaide Henry, lone woman, sets out for Montana with a mysteriously heavy trunk after burning down her family's California farm with her parents' mutilated corpses inside. and boy, does it escalate from there! it's a story about isolation and community and the people who are failed by so-called close knit small towns, and the ways in which vulnerable people band together to protect one another. it also makes the compelling point that maybe, just maybe, the real monsters were your local transphobe and her husband's lynch mob all along.

Black Disability Politics (Sami Schalk, 2022) - what a cool book! Schalk's argument begins with the idea that Black disability politics are distinct from predominantly white mainstream disability politics, and are therefore often overlooked in conversation, activism, and academia. Schalk analyzes the historical work of the Black Panthers and the National Black Women's Health Project to showcase what she describes as Black disability politics in action. in Schalk's conception, Black disability politics take a much more holistic approach to disability, conceptualizing as just one form (and, frequently, as a result of) of oppression tangled up with a myriad of others that cannot be meaningfully addressed when they're treated as separate issues. the book concludes in interviews with contemporary Black disability activists and organizers that shed light on ways in which the wider movement is often unwelcoming to folks of color, and an exhortation from Schalk for readers to continue the conversation well beyond the confines of the book. in a killer show of praxis, the entire book has been made available to read in PDF form, and I strongly recommend giving it a look!

The River of Silver (S.A. Chakraborty, 2022) - mentally I am kicking myself a little for waiting so long to read this continuation of my beloved Daevabad trilogy, because it did take me a minute to get back into the swing and mythology of the world and that did make me feel unpleasantly like I wasn't appreciating these character-focused short stories as much as I could be. but even having said that - man! fuck I love the world of Daevabad, and I adore these characters so much. getting to see them again, even briefly, was a delight, and I am once again congratulating Nahri and Ali on being the invention of heterosexual romance. (also, on a related note, but I ADORE the way Chakraborty writes her characters having crushes. they crush SO hard and it's very sweet. these books are such big drama all the way down.)

Men We Reaped (Jesmyn Ward, 2013) - an absolute powerhouse of a memoir, and devastating the whole way down. in Men We Reaped Ward attempts to make sense of a series of tragedies that befell her community when five young Black men - beginning with Ward's younger brother - died between 2000 and 2004. the word 'unflinching' is hopelessly played out, but it's difficult to figure out how to describe the head-on way Ward explores each young man's life and ultimate end and her own upbringing. the men in Ward's history - her brother, the friends she lost, her father and other male relatives - are never idealized; their demons, miseries, infidelities, addictions, and violence are placed on full display. but Ward is also insistent on displaying these men with dignity, compassion, empathy; showing them at their best and, most importantly, as men who were loved and deserved better than the violence that poverty and racism wrought on them. it's a furious memoir, one that will leave you mourning too.

Nimona (ND Stevenson, 2015) - did I only read this so I can make more informed complaints if/when I end up watching the netflix movie with my wife? YES. but listen, it wasn't JUST petty hater behavior. Nimona is just really good, and I think I got a lot more out of it this time around that I did when I first read it years ago. this comic is wild and unfettered and so spectacularly weird; I wish more things felt the way Nimona does. I also with more things starred small girls begging to kill cops and stage a violent overthrow of the government, that rules hard. also man I love Ballister, he's SUCH a good protagonist. he's curmudgeonly, he's deeply principled, he's held a grudge for years, he's paternal, he's even gay. what a guy!

[virocci]

おはよう　みなさん！ welcom back to the blog ppls

i figured i should do a life update once more since its been a good while.

firstly,

i think i wanna try speaking more japanese, im learning it with my school rn and ik that i understand and can speak quite a bit. its just i forget vocab so easily :,) maybe ill start tryna speak/test more in my blog posts :>

game segment *woosh woosh super cool transition*

i bought the $30 season pass for strinova hehe. i went level like 85-87 and then bought it and gave me and extra 25 to complete the battle pass :> idk if im gonna go ahead and do that again, it all depnds what in the pass and if i feel that ill be able to finish it :,)

i also pulled THE HERTA in hsr :> (my last post) but i speant all my stellar jades on her which is soooo sad. i was planning to get jade for her if i got herta early... but i didnt :( i think ill try to farm for jades and to see if i can pull jade :> i reeeeeeally wanna build a herta team hehe. i also still havent built sunday yet... or rappa for that matter. i think one day ill have to sit down and js do allll my grinding lol

also, i havent acc rll touched zzz since i completed the event but ive been feeling and itch to log again so maybe ill do that. im saving to get the vtuber girls and they supposedly are supposed to come out in march SO I REEEEALLY gotta be saving HARD.

also miku in fortnite. i legit downloaded fortnite JUST for miku and am acc lowk thinking abt buying her skin lol. only problem is that both of skins is like 4.6K vbucks and if I were to buy it id need to spend 50$ and i cant rlly afford to do that rn :(

ive also gotten like 10-ish hours into persona 5 :> the point to when your exploring the second castle. :D im reeeeally enjoying the game so far AND I CANT WAIT FOR FUTABA.

game segament done *super cool silly woop woop transition*

this next two weeks i have aaaaall my finals so iv been studying super hard. this friday i have my grade 12 math final exam and omggg im have been studying HARRD. I AM LOCKED IN FRFR. i rlly hope i do well so i atleast wont have to redo the exam when i do the course again :>

also eggrolls (the g u y, refer to past posts lol), COMPLETELY turned away from me when i went to see a friends that has lunch on the same floor w/ him. theres a whole group of ppl there and he eat w/ those ppl since his gf is there. And, my friend wasn't there so i was tryna ask someone ik we she was, and i looked to eggrolls for a minute (HE COMPLETLY avoided me btw) and HIS GF answered saying my friend isnt eating there anymore (or today idk what she said). but either way i found it kinda funny. idk if i mentioned this but i ended up never following him back on his public account, i js thought he didnt deserve it :) also there was a day we were doing some activity in class and he tried asking me for answers, i js pretended i didnt hear him and didnt move (there was also a group around his desk/behind me so it was plausable i didnt hear him) and i feel kinda proud of myself for not budging.

also there was a day during winter break i saw people from my old school when i was out with wifey 2. they were two guys who bullied me and were just assholes to me back in 8th grade. they just made fun of me for watching stuf like gacha and anime (listen i was in a phase back then) and also for wanting to dress more alternativly. acc, everyone in my class would say i was weird cause i wanted to dress differently and less basic (if i may say). that day i was wearing like a SCRUMPTIOUS fit. and after we saw them, i felt so proud of myself for being able to prove them wrong. like it felt so satisfying showing the ppl who put me down for being myself and prove that i executed it SO WELL.

anyways, i believe thats it for now :) i think another life update will have to come after exam unfortuanelty :(\

side note... if anyone actually sees this and reads this its kinda just a public journal :3 i feel i should be documenting more things that happen to me so this is my way of doing so. either way id still appreciate some interaction... i like seein ppl listen to what i havce to say :3

here is a yummy song for chu since you read allllll that :3