#i should start a tag for this thing ive been going on abt specifically.

[aropride]

wrt that poll abt tone indicators thats going around.w ell first of all tbh i think some of the hatred for them comes from cringe culture. but second of all. some of the criticism is totally fair like there are a fuckton of tone indicators and sometimes . there really dont need to be. and the abbreviations can be confusing i try to type out ones that arent s srs or j. tho i feel like most of the newer ones were popularized on twt so itmakes sense they wouldnt be written all the way out

like i think my prolem is when theres SO many and theyre redundant. i found a carrd with a fuckton of them that im gonna comment on To entertain myself sorry

like these 3 all feel redundant .. why do u need a different tone tag for Mostly joking than Half joking ? or for a Coping joke ? just use /j or combine with with like, /neg or something to get the tone across yknow? and /ji - first of all looks like /ij (inside joke), second of all why not just use /j

and like. why half serious or mostly serious or not serious when /j or /hj exist ? why /ns when it looks so similar to /nsrs, which means the opposite ? ive been using /s since like 2015 and /srs since like 2018 so ivegot those down and dont confuse them but i see why could be for some one who hasnt used them b4, why make it more complicated?

i like /g or /gen in theory- ppl have said its confusing bc gen could be general which i get, but for ppl familiar w tone tags tend to know what it means. genq is one ive used just bc. its fun to type tbh. and i think ppl get what it means but its not really Necessary. BUt genep and genc feel unnecessary when /g and /srs exist, and /gene is just, a word. that's just a word ! 😭

ojh my god. i should do a tone indicator tier list

as you can see my adhd meds are working

/nbr is funny bc half the time when some1 says theyre not being rude they definitely are. also there's already /g /srs and /lh. /nm is either helpful or deeply confusing Bc i try to take it at face value but sometimes i see it and im like. Why would i be mad ? and i start overthinking. but thats a me problem

i like this one i use it when i complain a lot Bc i dont want ppl to think im vagueing them i just love complaining

i love these ones. tone indicators for Being Mean To Someone. dunno if its on this list but ive seen /pa and /sbh (/passive aggressive & /somebody here, respectively) which is SO funny. i dont think theyre helpful really though except /neg Bc again. these all mean very similar things !!! why not just clarify extra things with a parenthetical

THESE R ALL THE SAME TONE !!! why not jsut use one single tone indicator for this !!! or none at all and just type the word !!!

need /nfl on a shirt in the aro colors so poeple know im not fucking interested in them. that aside. 1. whywould u need this ever !!! why not use again just /j if necessary.and 2. isnt the nfl a football thing

these r similar but i do like them, i think typing out a whole word again is a better solution so u dont have to scavenge google for the meaning but i think its helpful to clarify this and isnt synonymous with /j or /s or /lh

i think these ones are almost all just from the op's discord server or w/e, i won't bash that cuz if it works for them it works, that being said i dont think This many tone indicators for these types of things r helpful outside of that specific context yknow? also, /fx is really funny

ok i wont say that typing tics dont exist bc tics can be complex and vary by situation etc so im sure they can, but is that happening That much that u need a tone tag for it ? and also like. for /unin just delete the msg or say "oops sent too early hang on" or smth.. and as for vocal stim. first of all why is it /vt ? and second of all . why ... would u need that to type out ? bc if ur vocal stimming that would be. out loud? i.e. not in a chat where youre typing ???????@????>?,//???? BAFFLING. also in what situation is /gib necessary i genuinely cant think of one

ANYWAY.

None of this is to rag on tone indicators (/genuine) i think they can be helpful + i am always being gensrs when i use them. i just think some r a little silly & a lot from longer lists are unhelpful Bc theyre supposed to make communication Easier and Clearer + haveing So many tone indicators with Different Implied Tones WITHIN the indicators !!! makes it harder imo. bc if theyre to clarify tone why should i have to fight for my life deciphering why someone went from /mj to /hj yknow.

like this is all my Opinion and imsure these r all helpful for Someone otherwise they wouldnt exist but i rly feel like the system could be condensed a bit yk.

do i have a system in mind to suggest here ? well.

(also. this whole post is /genuine, /lighthearted, /not upset, and /not passive aggressive. and a bit /silly)

[beepiiboop]

HII um i hope this isnt a bother but ive been meaning to play witchs heart since ive seen you post about it and im a little confused about the conclusion stuff (i thought it was a finished game?) are they just like different routes or side stories or something like that? :0 and if there are routes is there a recommended order to doing them?

also is there anything else i should keep in mind while playing? (i know iz requested their sprites to not be edited and things like that)

to answer that question; conclusion ends are the final part of witch's heart making the game be fully complete! they're basically final arcs giving what the chara's end will be officially after getting to know every single one of them + who they are and the reason why they need the witch's heart. the conclusion ends in order that iz is making; sirius, wilardo, ashe, and noel being the last chara to do.

witch's heart isn't a fully completed game yet as iz takes a lot of time doing work progress onto the game as said work progress will take for years to be finished on. for the progress of bonus stage, from what i know it took the entire year of 2018 for iz finished making it/go public w/ it and for sirius conclusion it took them a bit of 2018, entire year of 2019, and a few months onto 2020 for it to be finished/go fully public at time when nankidai finished creating yttd chapter 3! so if you're someone whose getting into wh you'll be experiencing a TON of wait now for the conclusion ends to get finished

ALSO; when checking out witch's heart, it's split into three games; base game where it's a introductory to learn abt the main cast and the story, bonus stage where it'll further go into detail abt the main cast a lot more on why they want the witch's heart, and conclusion ends as the final part of the game that serves final arcs to the main cast. for the base game, it has routes! two routes are unlocked in the beginning of the game to choose (ashe and wilardo) while noel and sirius are locked where you need to do a bad ending to get sirius unlocked + for noel you have to complete the other three. i highly suggest you start ashe > wilardo > sirius > noel in order on the base game as most people start out w/ ashe's route first to do

to anything else abt iz; iz has set guidelines abt how they want their work to be handled w/ which can be checked in witch's heart main page when keeping in mind abt, specifically (twitt only) they have told people to not put unofficial fanart of witch's heart (includes headcanon, shipping, redesigns, how you draw the charas differently etc) thus there's following tags of whnoc/whnos to put unofficial fanart of it there. i know i also seen some people on tumblr doing it here too but i think it's optional here as iz doesn't force the guidelines on here as they have a tumblr just for archiving their work in. other than that + the guideline of them not wanting their work to be edited, those are the important guidelines to follow and keep in mind abt!

[itsbeenliketenyearsitsprettywild]

on tag responses and reply trains or: "click the readmore for my analysis of the the (mostly) Greek love terms that sum up jayvik and jaymel and also at some point i forget how to shut the fuck up and turn this into what might as well be a thesis paper on jaymel as a duo and How Mel Is Dedicated To Jayce Her Own Way"

starting from op @aurieeeeeenyx's tags that got me thinking:

#you mightve guessed that ive been listening to the hadestown soundtrack again recently#but anyways. jayce going back over and over and failing in timeline after timeline in the hopes that maybe this time. maybe just this once#he'll succeed and get his partner back#viktor putting the whole of his faith and trust in jayce that jayce will come back for him even though he fails again and again#but still viktor cannot imagine not believing in jayce one more time#the way the entire universe hangs in the balance of their bond oh man#i feel like jayvik is beyond categorization they're like the peak of classical romance which is not necessarily kisses and dating etc#but like the purest form of intimacy and affection. or something#i should write a fic abt this#anyways . idk . im a big fan of meljayvik so mel fits in here SOMEWHERE i just havent figured it out yet#if you made it to the bottom of this wall of tags here's a pie 🥧

(the last tag isn't exactly relevant, but hey. free pie 🥧) my response in the replies (with a few spelling edits):

moreso than calling what Jayce and Viktor have 'classical romance' (as such a phrase feel like it could be confused with the Romantic movement in the arts, which doesn't have much to do with love directly), I feel like it would almost be more accurate to describe it using the ancient (and a just few more modern) Greek terms for love. They already exist as a way to delineate the many types of love that can exist either combined or singular that can be part of a relationship between two people. (there's like eight or nine different Greek/Greek-derived words to categorize love at this point depending on who you ask, feel free to look 'em up yourself - there are six ancient Greek ones in there too. the Greeks have been dissecting love for a *very* long time) Of the types of love exhibited between Jayce and Viktor specifically, I think what you're getting at is that it's a bond which involves this incredibly beautiful blend of philia and agape, with a bit of mutual meraki as well. In actual English - their bond is made of deep personal affection on a mental/personality level (philia literally translates to 'soul connection') which isn't hurt by their shared love of creating/inventing new technology together. All of this being further boosted by the fact that they would anything for each other, even if it means damning themselves or other reallities in the process. I'd love to go into meljay as contrast, in large part because their relationship feels pretty unique in terms of what we see in media, but there's only so many characters allowed in a reply lol. feel free to ping me if you want me to put the rest of the deets on this or another post, though (and clarify you want it on a reblog instead of a reply if that's the case, as i default to replies otherwise)!

op's reply:

actually it's funny you say this because the romantic movement in the arts is pretty much what i had in mind just because of the like...aesthetic? i feel like it comes with a certain mood of sublime beauty and some mix of nature/humanity/passion/nostalgia while being both subdued and Not, which the jayvik finale sort of embodies to me if that makes sense (but then again i'm not an art connoisseur so i could be spouting total bullshit) i do agree with your analysis of their bond in the framework of greek terms for love and think that funnily enough it goes back to the orpheus and eurydice thing again (arcane when i come for you and your greek tragedies WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU--) sooo i guess i'll have to do some more research on that and i'd love to hear about your thoughts on meljay! if you feel comfortable i think a reblog might help more people see it (in which case you might need to put my notes and/or your comment as context to this admittedly very short post) but i don't mind either way :D

And, since the notes and comments have been placed, time to continue (I've been using this website for reference and been extrapolating best i can, but I'm no expert on the subject so feel free to correct me on it)

I honestly find JayMel really interesting to analyze from this perspective, because I feel like media doesn't show many relationships with this unique blend of loves, and especially not presented in a way where it's actually given some weight and value to both people within it. So, to start:

This list is very, very long, so let me this for the sake of everyone's sanity...

TL; DR - While Jaymel absolutely involves sexual attraction between the two of them (and is sometimes connected to these more casual, playful moments between the duo), those aren't nearly all the facets of their love. Some of the other types include: how they both enjoy working on Hextech (from the angles of technology and politics respectively), even if they sometimes have to make deals and do things with it they personally don't like; the surprisingly tentative yet compelling nature of their friendship together; the practical ways they (read; mostly Mel) are willing to help and support each other on a much more functional level, and how that in turn plays a very large part in letting them further emotionally connect with one another and deepen their bonds as people.

First (and most obviously), Mel and Jayce's dynamic obviously has a fair amount of eros in it. Eros can best be described as 'sexual love' or 'physical desire for each other' - the kind of love most people (largely allosexuals) assume are a part of "romantic" relationships by default, though one doesn't have to be a couple to act upon mutual eros. Either way, it's absolutely a part of their dynamic that deserves to mentioned and recognized - pretty sure none of us are going to forget the Sextech scene any time soon, and all. But that's only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to their dynamic.

In a fair few scenes where eros between them is evident, there's also pretty obviously some ludus going on. Ludus is one of the more modern categorizations love types, and describes 'playful love' - something more casual or carefree, no strings inherently attached, but a noted expression of affection all the same. You know that forge scene in season 1, where Mel sarcastically calls Jayce's smithing 'a delicate art' and she watches him sexily hammer out some metal, or at the end of that same scene, where she leans into him seductively... only to smack him in the tiddies with his own forge bolt and adds the one-liner, "Hold onto your nuts?" That absolutely reads as ludus following up on the eros within their dynamic. After all, ludus is the kind of love found in booty calls and one night stands, but could also just be enjoying a night out drinking with your pals. Which makes jaymel really interesting, considering the fact that it's also steeped in the opposite type of love....

....Which, in all honestly, I feel like I'll only be able to talk about once I've described meraki. You see, this and the next type of love seem pretty deeply entwined with one another when it comes to my categorizing and understanding of jaymel, but it feels like this is the one best needed to help describe the context of the other. Now, meraki one of the terms coined after the ancient Greeks, being a modern word that most people who don't speak Greek down know about. Essentially (and i could be wrong about the best term to use - but honestly i legitimately feel like this a type of love that shapes them, and don't know a better word to use), meraki is the love of creation, the love one pours into the act of making art or writing poetry or skillfully setting a table - or, best as i can sum all that up, a love of your work/what you do. And, lest we forget, the thing that brought them (alongside Viktor, though he's not the focus of this post) together is... well, Hextech. It's just that the work Jayce and Mel happen to be doing in relation to creating Hextech happen to be quite different in nature. Nonetheless they're both quite necessary for its creation to come to fruition. For Jayce, this 'love of creation' he has for hextech is quite literal - he's one of the two geniuses who invents, designs and very directly builds machines and technology that utilize Hextech within them, and it's obviously from the get go that he loves the idea of it so much that he dedicated his life to it (something something what that means in terms of what he said in the finale-). Mel, meanwhile, also loves Hextech and how she goes about creating it - but, in her case, she creates far less literally than how Jayce and Viktor do, though still plenty important. Because, for all the boys physically create the technology, it wouldn't be able to have nearly as much of an impact as it does if there wasn't someone politically advocating for its use and working for it to become societally integral. For all Viktor and Jayce may love making their gadgets and gizmos that utilize it, she's the one who loves it enough to build it up as A Brand and help get Jayce into top enough form that Hextech can even have its own seat on the council (no matter how much she regrets that decision almost immediately afterwards. But, it's this difference in terms of how they precisely they go about creating Hextech that can lead to a divide in how much they enjoy particular parts of shaping that leads to struggle in staying dedicated to specific parts of the process, which really comes down to their comfort with....

Pragma, or 'practical/dedicated love'. Pragma is the final love term coined after the time of Ancient Greece, and essentially acts as the complete opposite of ludus. While ludus is all about fun and in-the-moment playfulness, pragma is the love shown by doing what needs to be done to keep things functional, even if said actions are not particularly fun or enjoyable themselves. It's not the same thing as agape/'sacrificial' love, because it's not a case of being willing to throw everything just to keep this one person happy. These things are being done because they have to be done to make sure everything stays okay, not because the thing they love comes before absolutely anything else. Though it might seem boring (or maybe even selfish, if you compare it to agape in particular), it's a huge part of all kinds of relationships you can find between people, and says as much about nature of a dynamic as anything else. But, as stated, this type of love between Jayce and Mel is seen very specifically when it comes to their mutual love for Hextech and less directly for each other. In making Hextech and allowing it to flourish as a technology, steps have to be taken to ensure sponsors and investments, so that they never lose access to the resources required to continue working on it. As such, deals have to be cut and made, as seen in the concert scene, and continuing to make sure Jayce and Viktor's projects are properly funded is something they have to do over and over again just to keep things moving. In this sense, the main difference between the two of them in this context is the nuance of their meraki - for all they both enjoy creating Hextech in some way, the types of work they enjoy dedicating themselves to contrast quite a bit. For Jayce, politics and lobbying for funding are only a small part of what he does for Hextech - and not what he gravitate towards naturally, charismatic as he can be. To him, his love of is for the literal process - the one that Viktor both enjoy creating as a team moreso than they'll ever enjoy doing it alone. Meanwhile politicking and dedication to Hextech's social and financial success (which is where a lot of the pragma comes to the forefront) is what Mel enjoys doing - alone if necessary, but preferably with one of the creators of Hextech at her side, to have another hand on deck and a more direct face to associate with it. As such, it *does* make its own kind of sense that the duo (jayvik) whose meraki is almost identical have an time easier time bonding personality-wise (tho i do think Mel and Vik would have an easier time of it- *shoves my melvik-in-the-polycule headcanons in a box for later*), in comparison to the fascinatingly tentative nature of Jayce and Mel's....

Philia, or 'soul connection'. For all it sounds like a term for soulmates or such, what it really just means is that two people get along well with each other when it comes to general socializing and interaction. This is the type of love that underpins deep friendships, but also romantic couples that go beyond just being sexually compatible (or queerplatonic couples - sadly, the terms for love never developed in such a way to make it *easy* to differentiate aspec couples from other kinds of dynamics, but we work with what we got), or even just coworker who get along pretty well. And it's here in particular that I find jaymel compelling as we see them in the show, because, for all we see them work together well on Hextech and be playful with each other and Do The Fuck, their philia seems... surprisingly awkward, or at least not nearly as natural as it is for jayvik (or how i headcanon it would be for melvik). To be clear: you're allowed to headcanon jaymel as more naturally friendly than this, like how many people like to extrapolate jayvik out to include some level of eros (which, once again, not disparaging, just noting as not being shown in Arcane directly). But in terms of what we actually see in the show... jaymel has a bit of a hard time with getting close on an emotional level. Which i honestly really appreciate; the show doesn't invalidate the love that is there simply due to this fact, after all. All the other parts of their relationship exist and are recognized in the narrative while still letting the philia between them not come as naturally as everything else. People's personalities may end up with them clashing fairly often, but they can still be close anyways. (well, as long as they work at it - but I'll segue into that subcategory in a little bit.) And because of this, they're able to take a very fun option: showing some of these moments of tension or awkwardness between them, and letting us as the audience watch how the two navigate and end up resolving these moments. Though some of these moments do end up getting interrupted by a third party, which can end up impacting how these moments of tension end up getting resolved. (I'm looking at you, Viktor, for how you interrupted that moment between jaymel and instigated the season 2 council room fight. go to ur eldritch jesus shame corner /lh/j) Speaking of reaction: Mel and Jayce each have distinct ways of expressing emotional distress (at least most of the time - Mel lets herself get a lot more angry with her mother than she would otherwise). For Jayce, his reactions are what he's infamous for in fandom - impulsively jumping into action based on his current feelings without considering what consequences. (read: almost always not what he wanted.) Meanwhile, Mel tends to withdraw into herself and act more emotionally unaffected than she actually is - for example, how her reaction to Jayce leaving in the middle of the night after Sextech is to... well, paint, and respond relatively neutrally up until Jayce justifies his actions. But it's in resolving of these conflicts that the two of them are able to start building up their philia and comfort with each other (beyond their mutual focus on hextech or sex) into a deeper level of companionship. The reason why their philia is able to end up further developing is due to the active usage of...

Pragma, not within the framework of Hextech. You see, Hextech-focused pragma can quite often lead to added tension between them instead of anything getting resolved, as seen when Mel gets Jayce voted onto the council without asking him first. In comparison, many of the moments of pragma between them that aren't focused on Hextech itself often lead to to bonding moments between the two of them as individuals. (Which makes sense as talking about work, even if you like doing it, doesn't tend to lead to much personal emotional intimacy.) Alongside that, there's one other thing that differentiates these moments of pragma from those focused on Hextech directly: in those situations where willingly taking action leads to them getting closer, it's almost always Mel who takes the initiative. For Jayce, the vulnerability he shows to her is never from a place of willingly dropped guard or conscious intent, but instead due to being absolutely overwhelmed by his emotions. As such, it's Mel who consistently dedicates herself to their relationship by reacting in ways that only really serve to benefit or support Jayce, such as: -> accepting her suddenly-given role as emotional after the discovery Viktor is dying -> voting Heimerdinger out of the council on Jayce's inferred behest -> comforting Jayce over said vote that he pushed through -> stalling while he's supposed to be leading the council so he has time to find Viktor -> implicitly supporting Jayce's decision to bring Viktor back from at least the brink of death, if not death itself, at the beginning of season 2 Even past the ones I listed, there's so many moments Mel has which speak to her own brand of love for Jayce, especially in season 1. Times where she very much chooses to act in favor of his interests, even though it in no way benefits her, can be readily pointed to as cases of pragma. For all they might not be big and noticeable, they help keep the dynamic functional and healthy. Though, that's not to say Jayce doesn't have a moment of pragma outside of working on Hextech. Though, unless I'm missing something, it is just. A singular moment for him. Which is after his implicit apology for the argument the two had in the council room before the Viktor fight in season 2. After the apology, Mel goes on to open up to him about how she unlocked her abilities as a mage, that he comforts her by saying that Mel could never be just a passenger in her body - this is a moment that, while it does nothing to help him personally, still speaks to him caring about Mel. But... that's pretty much we only case we have of him directly engaging in pragma in relation to Mel. (...But then again, we see a lot of him and his active cases of pragma in those situations in season 1 focused on Hextech in particular, so in that regard it evens out if you consider pragma a whole without those specific contexts in mind. But I digress.)

There's potentially one other type of love i was tempted to add to all this, but this post has gotten very, very long, so i think I leave it here. If you somehow got this far down: holy shit what the fuck (impressed). For the sake of the sane people. I think I'll be putting my TL;DR at the top of the list.

oh yeah also jayvik are extremely orpheus and eurydice coded i don't make the rules

[doggerell]

ai/ganbreeder ramblings below

Ive been having sooooo much fun with ganbreeder. I am not a fan of that glistening prompt based ai-- I find it ugly in a mostly uninteresting way-- but ganbreeders splicing tool is SO so fascinating. I like that it tracks the history of what images are spliced together and scrolling up the branches just to see more and more completely ai generated images is Fascinating. its ai inbreeding.. its corrupting itself. its grip on reality is ever-slipping because its only feeding itself its own mangled fingers. I think its so interesting. ai is SO scary to me so using it as a tool for horror and uncanny valley specifically is like. the ideal circumstance to me...

reading an article abt art based on ganbreeder images... Ive been thinking abt using it as a tool in my own art, through like photobashing or redrawing stuff, as a collaboration between me and the machine, but the perspective that its also collaboration with the greater ganbreeder community, with other humans as well... like duh, of course. like even in a side of the tool where-- as far as I can tell-- no ones original drawings/artworks are being used (maybe original photos have been inputted Far up the line of command. I havent been able to tell yet.) yeah the collaborate element is very much there where it promotes combination and.. breeding images so much. I think touting it as discovering images rather than creating images makes a lot of sense too. I feel so much complexity around the language of generative images.. like I dont wanna say "generative art" really cause people jump at that and theres a lot of discussion around defining art that... sometimes feels very reductive around what people consider art. but I do understand the concern as well when used in regards to ai. saying "generative content" makes me want to shoot myself though I hate the word content. personally.

anyway all of this is coming about because. Show Me An Angel is very much about ai horror. its about my fear of generative ai and the recklessness I feel the average consumer uses with it. its about what if you tried to play god and the machine decided to give you Exactly what you wanted. but its horrifying. its about a machines horrible dreams of flesh and god and divinity. its about accidentally inviting something sick and powerful into your life.

but working with ganbreeder has made it more complex because. it is sick. in a scary way but also a piteous way. like maybe Starling is hideous and powerful and terrifying but. hes also jittering weakly. and his bones are so, so thin and his limbs are too long and he Really doesnt know what his face or hands should look like or how many eyes or fingers or wings he should have and hes constantly reforming himself to try and fit the image. of what you need. because ultimately you are still in control. he is your prompt, your beast, and he may be too big for you to comprehend anymore, but you are still telling him what he needs to be. and hes sick because hes a virus, hes corrupting your computer and your life and your mind, but hes also sick because hes inbred. and the bottleneck of the unreality of him is going to kill him because he Cant exist like this. not outside the machine, not in the real world.

anyway. I dont think Ive pushed ganbreeder enough now. Im thinking abt thematic metadata. I tried to push images tagged as "dragons" and "angels" and such together to generate him because thats what I had in mind as the backbones of his design but Im thinking more now. I could do it through the genes... if I put a gene for a scorpion in there does it mean more to who he is? if I add in electric guitars and cardigans? like its a cheeky little nod back to the fact that this is Frank behind the curtains. like you dont know that unless you go into the image On ganbreeder and start splicing it yourself but... aah. its just interesting to add Intentionality and imagry to this fucking thing and youre never gonna see it. but its there. its like painting something and then painting over it again. what does it mean that its layered under there? I love abstraction and performance and process as a part of art. and again, I hesitate to call the generation itself art, because obviously this is a complex and controversial issue that I dont have all the answers to or understanding of, but somewhere, some part of this may become art

Id love to post pictures of what Ive been playing with but Im afraid Im gonna get hit with a "oh youre acting all deep and for This? cringe" *pensive* perhaps. its very interesting to me tho. making stuff for Me.

also obviously I am very inspired with ink-the-artist's work in general and esp their ai stuff and this why Im even using ganbreeder in the first place. I think they may be my favorite artist rn. I also saw a really great gallery last year by Matthew Ritchie last year that kinda blew past my kneejerk "all ai is bad" reaction. I had bigtime emotional reactions to his work. I think training a personal GAN off my own photos and art would be fucking fascinating. but its a bit too scary for me still.

I feel like such a mess in all of this because I am too anti ai for the average tech bro by being deathly afraid of it and thinking there needs to be regulations on it but also I am too pro ai for the average tumblr/twitter user by thinking its supremely fascinating as a Tool to be used by artists. ah the nuances. pls be niceys to me.

[simplyender]

oh. so NOW i REALLY get what other people in the submas fandom meant when they mentioned angst burnout

[geordon]

I think there's a pretty big difference between lashing out when scared/stressed and being an angry person.

Between having an amount if anger in you that comes out when things get bad and being the one that makes thing bad

Between violence in reaction to something and actively wanting to cause harm

And I think some people could really do better in understanding that difference

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

(Note: All of these asks are before episode 206 (Season 2 finale) so some may be dated.) 1. The wild part to me about the "Persephone got approved Underworld citizenship" is it took what, a week at most? Even if you want to use IRL Royal examples, someone like Megan Markle would (if she had kept up the process) still need two YEARS to get approved of it at minimum which includes a lot of paperwork and staying in the country for prolonged time, but Persephone gets it in a few days with no process? Is there really nothing Persephone doesn't get handed to her on a silver platter?

2. "How to be a woke misogynistic :Add white before woman" I think this anon was tryna call antis misogynistic?? Which like. Some of the "criticism" ive seen is just people using lo as an excuse to be misogynistic against rs but most of it is genuine idk what they're going on abt 😭

3. ya know for claiming to be a "loving and supportive fandom with no drama" lo fans are by far the most cruel set of bullies i've ever seen, and I've been in a LOT of intense fandoms. and I can't even handwave these fans as just dumb kids, many of them are adult women who made a mid webcomic their entire world and would rather get a power high off the harassment and bullying of others who dare no obsess over what they do while still thinking they're "feminists". it's so weird 💀

4. Lol I love that the person typed that 'regular' people just drop it and move on when they dislike something. Apparently you're no longer a regular person for disliking and discussing a piece of media 😔

Anyway, LO can bite it. It's misogynistic and an insult to Greek culture among many other glaring flaws. The giant red flag of an age gap and power dynamic between them is one hell of a thing to defend y'all, and it's also a hell of a thing to praise 1 character for cheating but cheer on another character for doing the exact same thing 🙃🙃🙃

Also it's incredibly funny to me how LO stans are so so aggressive and condescending to us about disliking it when we're just minding our own business?? We ain't talking to you nor do we go out of our way to mess with your tags (tumblr is tumblr, y'know) unlike a few of y'all that I've seen specifically use the anti tag to start shit like a bunch of brats. We'll continue minding our own business talking about LO with both non-fans and fans who actually want to have a discussion instead of mindlessly praising it, and y'all should mind your own business. 

5. This comic loves to claim it’s pro sexuality, pro kink, and pro female empowerment AND anti purity culture yet loves nothing more than framing sex outsides of Hades as bad, loves to push Purity culture to make Persephone look like the best woman ever, loves tearing other women down for not being the “right” type of woman, and consistently shames others’ consenting sex lives as gross and weird despite the whole comic being an obvious stretched out mess of Rachel’s office setting DDLG kink. Like??

6. I mean I get why LO Hera doesnt murder babies and all but it is an issue RS rides off "I'm not trying to be accurate!" when she makes Hades the "perfect" guy and Hera and Persephone the most desirable/amazing with zero flaws but then turns around and goes "oh well I'm being accurate!" to make Zeus be super mega awful and just make up stuff to pin on Apollo, Leto, and Thetis like?? you can't have it both ways?? Like she obvs picks and chooses who gets to be whitewashed and who doesnt.

7. Go figure LO fans to make Netflix all but closing down their entire animation department and laying off hundreds of people to STILL make it all about LO. I have countless friends who lost their jobs all en-masse with no warning and a neutered severance plan (NF purposely made it be four WEEKS instead of four MONTHS), the majority of them and their productions by BIPOC and/or LGBTQ+ creators and they're only worried over well-off and employed Rachel? Fuck off. I'm so upset over this.

8. Completely and utterly disappointed at LO being nominated for an Eisner again. I think Webtoon has the power to just nominate it every year and ignore all of their other series.

9. Listen we all know every award is just marketing and we know damn well Webtoons just pumps the with money to nominate LO but we know damn well they're giving way more money to pump up their brand now because the Batman comic is so lazily made yet was ALSO nominated for best webcomic and they're like "one of our BIGGEST HITS big ethel energy is being printed!" despite it being one of their most hated series that is lampooned for bad art and writing. anyway they need to be taxed more.

10. HXP is such boring, basic mythology shipping. Get back to me when they give Isis x Osiris and Dionysus x Ariadne the respect they deserve.

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.

ah yeah ty, good suggestions.

hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(

ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)

hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)

cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe

thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track

domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*

ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album

the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy

sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha

silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either

secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it

STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.

red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved

surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?

gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining

wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)

hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha

<3 w.a. 🐺

i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.

oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.

man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d

okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!

> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)

back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.

i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.

i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.

PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)

i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!

wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ

and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA

[gaybullies]

tagged by: @cheerynoir

rules: tag 9 people you'd like to get to know better!

three ships: hanbrough...... ben and eddie is oddly hard to figure out a ship name for but I love that one. stozier!

last song: last song I listened to uhh let me check my youtube history.  technically “nutcracker” and it was a princess tutu amv but the last song I liek intentionally listened to was buttercup (jack stauber) or animal (neon trees) if i remember right

currently reading: oh god what am I reading. okay like the little white bird I think? but more recently and more true to the current thing it’s. rps ive had between me n my friends!!

currently watching: oh is this supposed to be like rn or shows. uhm. okay ive been watching shark boy and lava girl over and over again recently. comfort. in the middle of watching how to get away w/ murder and crazy ex girlfriend but kiddos moved in while I was in the middle of those shows (they are NOT kid appropriate) and I havent been able to watch them since bc they go to bed at like 8 and by then im tired too.

currently consuming: last thing I ate was dry raisin bran and water bc my neice is very sweet and her idea of food is this.

currently craving: roleplays with like three specific ppl honestly but we r all always busy. some alone time or down time bc there’s so many ppl living here and i cannot have any. to draw or write but idk what to draw or write! maybe I should go back to one of the fanfictions on here that I have started.....

tagging: @kenzie-ann27 I know we talk much of the time but also.... i feel like i dont know enough abt you! also i miss you. @hot-tea-and-sweater-paws what is goin on in your life fam. @imsicksartblog what’s goin on in YOUR life? @cezulian love u miss u. @starboystan hewwo! @richietheteenagewerewolf yeah... miss you!!! @batriddler @underthespellofparlay @hocksteter @theatlanticaprincess

[sapphic-sex-ed]

Hi umm? How to differentiate between (social) anxiety and compulsive heterosexuality? Ive been calling myself bi all my adolescence, but now that i have a real shot at something romantic/sexual w a guy im way too anxious to even open his text asking me out. Plus yesterday he was flirting with me and i got really sexually aroused but i didnt do anything abt it (not even kissing) bc i was too nervous? 😖😖😖

It can be tricky distinguishing between social anxiety and heteronormative conditioning when the most obvious signs of the latter are discomfort and anxiety around interacting with men in ceirtan ways, but there are aother ways you can try and figure this all out.

A good start is to think about how you react when you are flirting with men vs women - are you as nervous? If you are, does the anxiety feel the same or different? If you haven’t really been in this situation with a woman yet, just keep reading through cause there are still ways to figure this out.

How you look at a potentional future with a man vs. with a woman*? When you imagine a future where you are married, maybe have a house or apartment and a dog or two with your s/o, does it feel different dependent on the gender you pick for your s/o? Does the fantasy with the man feel more uncomfortable to think about? Do you have to invent some ways to cope, like add in a skewed power balance (regardless of who holds that power) or does the affection you imagine between the to of you make you feel weird?

Back when I thought I was bi (and I had no experience with either binary gender) I would say that if I got married to a man I would never want to have kids, because the conventional family structure felt weird, and alternatively if I had kids with a man I would never marry him untli maybe the kids had moved out. If I married a woman however I would love a “traditional” family image of a partner two kids a house etc. At the time I wrote it off as myself being a silly “special snowfalke” (actual term I used btw) who just wanted to be edgy and unconventional, but now I realize the heteronormativity made me feel so off I had to invent ways to circumvent parts of the norm. I wasn’t trying to be edgy and unconventional to feel special, it was that the norm was so uncomfortable I was doing my best to bend it. 

If you feel you recognize yourself in that last paragraph then that could be a sign too.

When it comes to sexual fantasies a sign could be that power imbalance I mentioned before. You need to either be super dom or super submissive or you can’t go through with it. This can manifest in kink-like fantasies because of the common D/s dynamics there, or it can manifest in infedility scenarios, or in as extreme things ars r*pe. With the latter one it can be really traumatizing even if you don’t realize it at the time and it can be really hard to work though on your own. If possible, seek counseling if that’s something you experience.

In contrast, sexual fantasies with women won’t need this type of skewed dynamic. Even if you are into kink, as I am, there will be a difference. Namely that in the fantasies with men, the dynamic will feel like the only way you can stand to be in them. If you try to actively make them more equal in power they will be super uncomfortable, or you will swap perspective so that you are the guy sleeping with a woman (also super common). But fantasies with women don’t feel uncomfortable without the power dynamic. Like sure, if you are super into D/s they might feel a little boring but the won’t feel bad.

Another thing you can do is look at your past history of crushes. If the men you’ve had crushes on are all unavailable in some way - fictional, celebreties, dead, in prison, married, gay, a friend’s sibling, etc - or if you only developed a crush on them after a friend gave their approval either by mentioning they think them hot, or saying they would be a good fit for you. 

Another crush-related sign would be if you actively selected a guy to be attracted to. Like, you didn’t see them and were like OMG but you sat down and thought okay I’m gonna be into this one. Back when I was 17 I got really into the band Queen - I’d always liked them but that’s when I got into the fandom - and I clearly remember sitting on my firend’s bed, looking at a picture of them going “okay people who like bands have a crush on one of them so who should I pick?” and litterally just went “ah that guy” for no real reason except I liked his hair and that’s the story of how I had a “crush” on Queen guitarist Brian May for two years. Contrast that with my choldhood/teen fixation with Lady Gaga and how I just saw her and went like *heart-eye emoji*, no active decition just natural obsession. 

Another way to determine if your attraction to men is genuine is if you have a very specific list of things men need to be for you to be attracted to them, and if by any chance you meet a guy who fits you instinctively add more requirements to the list. Connected to that is soley being attracted to very feminine or very masculine guys. No inbetweens. 

I’m trying to remember more but google removed the docs that had all the information so there is more but I can’t think of it right now. you could try check out the #comp het or #coercive heteronormativity tags on our blog (although I always tag both so many posts are similar, but I think mod star only tags the latter and I’m unsure about the other mods so there will be differences) and see if we have mentioned other signs. If you look prior to august I believe I will have quoted directly from the google doc (although the links to it doesn’t work anymore, obviously) so those would be the most accurate.

-mod liz

*this will be very binary in man-woman but non binary people can and do fit into this conversation, however that would require a lot more nuance and I’m out of nuance for the whole of january 2020 due to uni work so a binary discussion will have to do)

[vincent-frankenstein]

different anon, but heck yeah u should definitely infodump about lucid dreaming!! im really interested in it

aaaaa okay !!! uh hold onto ur ears yall im abt to talk em off lmao

so !! if u didnt know, lucid dreaming is basically when you become aware that you’re dreaming while youre in a dream. once you’re aware, you can take control of the dream in literally any way u want — u can do anything, go anywhere, meet anyone, all with the knowledge that nothing can hurt u and nothing can stop u

its a fascinating concept and, the feeling when u actually become lucid for the first time? its better than anything else in the world. its the most invigorating thing u can ever feel, i think. but actually becoming lucid is, ,, , , hm. a time and a half. 

putting the rest under a cut bc, hooooo boy this is gonna get long

first things first! you absolutely have to keep a dream journal. forgetting ur dreams is all well and good when ur not trying to accomplish anything in them, but if you become lucid and then wake up with only the vaguest memory of what you actually did? thats painful.

u can either go all out and get a fancy journal and write them down physically each morning, or u can do what i do and just download an app. i personally use the app Dream Catcher, which lets u tag ur dreams for easy organization. just get in the habit of writing down your dreams every morning, and if you really, really cant remember anything, just write down that you didnt dream anything that day. you’ll train your brain to remember your dreams better

secondly! reality checks! are absolutely imperative! the idea behind them is that, if you do something throughout the day that “proves” your reality, eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams as well. for example, a common thing in my dreams is that i’ll have extra fingers, so i check my hands a lot throughout the day. 

it can’t just be a casual thing, too. if all you do is glance at your hands and b like “yo looks normal, we gucci”, then you’ll do the same in your dreams even if you have Weird hands. trust me, Dream-You is an idiot, you gotta be obvious with this stuff. take a few moments, look at your hands, count out your fingers, and really think to yourself “am i dreaming?”

try to get in the habit of doing that at least 15 times a day, and eventually you’ll start doing it in your dreams too. 

now, if you just stick with doing those two things — which is what i’m doing right now — your chances of becoming lucid will raise astronomically. even just those two tiny things can train your brain into realizing when the world around you is real and when it isnt. you can also attempt something really easy called a MILD — a mnemonic-induced-lucid-dream — which can help your chances even more without upping the effort 

whenever you go to bed, just take a few moments — even just five minutes can help — and just. lay there. and think to urself, again and again “the next scene will be a dream” or “i will become lucid in my dreams tonight” or something similar. get ur brain really focused on lucid dreaming right before you fall asleep and chances are, those Vibes will bleed over into ur dreams and you’ll become lucid

practice those three things consistently, every day, and pretty soon you’ll start becoming lucid. it takes time, though! dont be discouraged if you end up not becoming lucid for the first few weeks, or even months. sometimes your brain just needs a bit of extra training

that’s what ive been doing for the past year or so — bc damn do i Not have the energy to actually put in too much effort — but!!! there are other techniques!!

my personal favorite is the WBTB, or wake-back-to-bed method. with this technique, you set your alarm for roughly 5-6 hours after you go to sleep so you’ll wake up inside of one of your REM cycles, specifically one where your dreams will be the most vivid. dont do anything, just roll over and go right back to sleep. 

you can even use a MILD along with this, repeat whatever mantra u usually use as you fall back asleep. you should start to see hypnagogic imagery — blobs of color and vague shapes floating before your eyes. just observe them. at one point, they’ll start forming more familiar shapes, and places, and maybe even people — and there should be a moment, a snap, where you go from observing these images to actually being in the scene. you literally build the dream around yourself, its magical

i have read that WBTB can cause sleep paralysis, but i’ve never personally experienced any problems with it, aside from the fact that im always tired the next day.

another thing that could severely increase your chances of being lucid but also involves Effort — meditation. specifically mindfulness meditation. the act of bringing full awareness to your Existence, honing in on just Your body, Your mind, Your breath, will make you a more aware, mindful person, which in turn makes you more perceptive of dream signs. also, the ability to clear your mind and center yourself with a moment’s notice really comes in handy when the dream becomes destabilized and you have to take control

if ur an adhd lad like me — or neurodivergent in any way, really — the idea of meditation can be,,,, terrifying. honestly, i havent meditated in like six months now, because it really wasnt?? doing anything for me?? mostly because im absolutely incapable of sitting still for that long without Something to stimulate me

so! loophole! guided meditations. having someone else guide you through the process can make it a bit easier to focus. just find one that works for u on youtube. there are even guided meditations made specifically to prime ur brain for lucid dreaming!

so thats how you get lucid. now for when youre lucid

at first, lucid dreaming is going to be extremely hard. dreams fall apart very easily — if you get too overexcited or if a dream-character looks at you the wrong way or if you cant seem to do what you want to do, your lucidity can fade and you’ll either go back to being your normal dream self or you’ll wake up. dreams are volatile and hard to control, and even harder to master

thats where meditation comes in handy. youll have a much easier time controlling your dreams if you can look at the world around you, take a breath, center yourself, and know that you can control it. that being said, you can absolutely learn to take control without ever having meditated a day in your life. its all about your mindset!

you have to go into it with confidence. the key to controlling your dreams is knowing that they’re your dreams. you cant forget that you’re in control. thats why i feel like learning to lucid dream doubles as a lesson in self-confidence — you have to learn to trust yourself, trust that you can handle any scenario thrown at you and come out on top.

if you can achieve this mindset, you can literally do anything. ive had maybe 50 lucid dreams since i started learning about them — which… is honestly a really low amount, but. i havent really had the time/energy to really throw myself into it  as much as i want to. but just in those dreams, ive flown, ive shapeshifted, ive met my sides, ive teleported to vast, gorgeous lands and seen some of the most beautiful things ive ever seen. anything is possible in a lucid dream; thats why its so worth it to put in the effort

but when youre first starting out, itll be extremely hard to maintain that mindset. like i said, Dream-you is dumb as shit — you’ll forget youre dreaming, you’ll be unable to control anything, you’ll wake up before you manage to accomplish anything. more often than not, the dream will destabilize, which is Not Fun

if the dream starts to destabilize — basically, if things start going fuzzy or vague, if you suddenly cant see, if you can feel ur body in bed, basically anything that points towards you waking up — there are ways to fix it. literally just spinning around helps for some reason? spin around, fall down, run ur hands along anything u can find and feel the texture, or just demand that the dream stabilize itself. most of the time, thatll work

and if it doesnt, dont be discouraged. theres always another night to dream

so basically: start a dream journal, do reality checks, mmmmaybe meditate if youre up for it, and your dreams will become like. at least 10x more interesting. trust me, try flying: its literally the best feeling in the entire world

its just !!! such a huge, incredible thing, and its so fascinating to learn about too. all the different ways you can train your brain, all the different things you can do, all the studies done on the subject. i suggest reading about Steven LaBerge or keith hearne. hearne led the study that proved lucid dreaming existed in the first place! he got a lucid dreamer to signal to him that he was conscious while asleep using REM (rapid-eye movement), because lucid dreaming happens during the REM state. also, robert waggoner’s book Gateway to the Inner Self is really fascinating too!

hm wow i really went ham here lmao

thanku for giving me a chance to infodump im very happy rn

[superheroshippinq-archive]

*slides in on my heelies* okay quill, gush time. Scream about anything and everything with your f/os. No holding back —Nic

@me-myself-and-my-fos you're so gonna regret giving me this ask but THANK YOU TGTGSHSGS

putting it under a cut bc its just a big gush dump abt literally all my f/os but to anyone who does read it all thank you and srsly i love u so much i hope u know that i would die for u 🥺🥰 💕

// literally like. where do i start my mind is EVERYWHERE and im having a CRISIS i just love them all ?? sm ?? yknow ??

// i think mainly i’ve been thinking abt mon and winn like .... omg. theres this thing mon el does in c*non where he was reading romeo and juliet and underlining lines that reminded him of kara and I WANT HIM TO DO THAT FOR ME SO SO BAD ........... like that is so soft and usually i dont like taking ideas from c*non ships but oh my god that one is so good .......... 💕💕

// i had a not so good dream last night so i was thinking abt winn comforting me after a nightmare ( and not letting me have coffee at like 2 am to keep myself awake bc he wants me to get some sleep ). and him staying up to help me fall asleep again even tho he’s tired. like. wow he would so do that for me 🥺🥺

// winn is just so cute like hes such a good soft boy and hes so awkward but silly and so CUTE like .... he has a very cute face yknow ?? like a puppy ?? i just ???? i adore him i ADORE HIM and every time i see him im like. sir. sir give me a KISS.

// also i cannot stop thinking abt .... reunions with both of them yknow .... bc theyre both in the 31st century rn and it literally does NOT help that cw keeps teasing them coming back this season like i am so impatient let me see my BOYS AND GIVE THEM BIG SMOOCHES !!!!!!!!!!!! 😤😤

// ok OK BUT ALSO OFC after the last supergirl ive been thinking abt brainy but more specifically female brainy like ......... GOD SHES SO PRETTY. LOOK AT HER. 

// wow that is my WIFE RIGHT THERE THAT IS HER MY WIFE A LITERAL GODDESS I LOVE HER SM. shes so badass and stoic too and you already KNOW thats my type just LOOK at kate and jessica. my brain refuses to be on straight activity today i am SO bi. should i make a new tag for her or should i just keep her under brainy’s tag ??? IDK BUT SHES THE GREATEST. pls. marry me

// and speaking of my wife .... like ,,, wow. kate ,,, she is just. i SWEAR 90% of what she did in last nights ep was stand around in her suit but oh my god i love her so much i was in AWE. luke wasn’t on her comms when she went on missions in that episode so i kept imagining myself taking his place ( since hes my brother ) and being in her ear during missions and wow ..... we’re a power couple aren’t we ..... 

// also. she was just standing around letting those teenagers take selfies with her bc she cant say no lmfao shes adorable.

// I’D GUSH ABT ⭐ BUT I LEGIT DONT TRUST MYSELF WITH KEEPING HIM A SECRET BUT KNOW I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I SAW HIM YESTERDAY IN A RANDOM AD AND I SQUEALED

// ok ok thinking abt mon again bc he helps so much with my anxiety like ..... i can easily think of so many soft scenarios with him and they really help distract me when i get upset or anxious. i think of so much angst with him too but its GOOD ANGST and it still makes me really happy to think abt if that makes sense ??? i just wanna hug him and be in his arms and have soft domestic moments with him .......................... is that so bad ?? i love him so so much ??? 

// WINN TOO I GET TO SEE EVIL WINN IN THE NEXT EP AND THATS LOWKEY ( HIGHKEY ) SO SO EXCITING .... TOYMAKER WINN OH MY GOD

// its kinda funny that a lot of the time i cant think abt mon without thinking abt winn what does that MEAN

// literally just putting this here bc i started thinking abt female brainy again. miss dox. i’d be so lovestruck the first time i meet her i swear. like. i’d be pining so hard alex would tell me to just go home bc im not getting any work done LMFAO. she is literally the DIRECTOR OF THE DEO WHERE SHES FROM OH MY GOD. she is so powerful and knows it i love her. help.

// yknow .... ive been thinking abt the last ep of crisis and how much more cheerful/happy barry seemed and its just so good to see that again. it feels SO GOOD to see that again. all ive wanted this past like 4 MONTHS is for him to be happy again and its happened finally and gosh i am the big heart eyes @ him because im so happy and proud of him ................. i got lost in pics of him on pinterest this morning i SWEAR hes such a big comfort for me that i just go to him even when i dont need comfort tgbtrhgshg. barry sir i cannot wait to marry you. look how far we’ve come

// tomorrow is a new legends ep and i get new nate content .... like ... i love my historian boy i do not give him enough love but i adore him with all my heart. he’s actually one of my longest kept f/os since i’ve been shipping with him WAY before i even made that blog and i think thats pretty great of us 😤👌 im just hoping he gets a lot of screen time !!!!

// *points to conner and jessica* I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABT YALL RN BUT I THINK ABT YALL EVERY DAY AND I LOVE YALL SO MUCH AND IM NOT NEGLECTING U I SWEAR

[wagyubeefs]

hey everyone! im going to Trauma Talk(tm) a bit because I need to. my trauma specifically. tagged for mentions of hospitalization, sexual assault/incest etc just fyi

ive been listening to an old song that i first heard when i was Fresh(tm) from being hospitalized for like a year, and I am just thinking aggressively about how I tried once to write a fic about being hospitalized so I could cope with the feelings I felt but I just gave up on it bc the place I was posting on at the time died and I also started hitting a really horrific, self loathing place.

Anyway I’ve began thinking more about doing it again bc I’ve put the song on repeat but I am genuinely... afraid... to write about my own trauma and the abuse I’ve experienced but i WANT to write abt this because I feel like if I don’t? nothing will change. I let my sexual abuse stew for so long that I have complicated feelings abt r*pe and assault/abuse in media, i refused to talk about it because i was made to feel so ashamed about it by my mother and other family members and now im forced to live with one of my worst abusers and say nice things all the time to him just to keep the peace, because my safety+peace of mind was secondary to everyone but especially me

even if i could change that - tell dad I want him gone, have him kicked out tomorrow, i wouldn’t regardless of what like horrible things it currently does to me wrt trauma dreams and stuff

also and i need to note this down now: the reason hospitals feel so aesthetically pleasing to me, the reason i look at pictures of them so much and enjoy seeing them and being at hospitalis, i think i realize even in those few months there it changed me pretty damagingly. ive never grown out of the desperate need for approval/validation when i do things like clean my room, i always ask permission before i make purchases or rearrange my room or i tell my dad ‘hey should i get this’ because i need someone else to tell me that it’s okay to do things like that. and going back to being drawn to hospitals: i firmly believe on some level i want to go back to one and stay there, that i have to go back there, that i don’t belong outside of one and i need to be put back there again

it’s been more than 10 years since that happened, those few months did that to me and it’s TERRIFYING and anyway i hate it

anyway. i think i might work on that piece soon. im afraid but i just. kind of have to do it i think. i have to. i have to. i have to.

[2henle]

50 questions tag!

i was tagged by @nothaechan

and im tagging @yoonohho and anyone else bc i have no friends

--

1. what takes up too much of your time?

my phone im ALWAYS on my phone . its a problem

2. what makes your day better?

i rlly like looking at my albums,,, mostly my dream one,,,

3. whats the best thing thats happened to you today?

hm idk nothing special happened lol

4. what fictional place would you like to go to?

the answer is 100% hogwarts okay

5. are you good at giving advice?

idk a lot of the time when someone wants to talk to me abt smth i'll obviously hear them out but i dont rlly like to be a decision maker (??) for them,, so i try to give good advice that doesnt involve giving a direct answer so no probably not

6. do you have a mental illness?

ya

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

no and im so happy abt that

8. what musician inspires you most?

idk tbh music itself kinda inspires me not rlly specific artists (?????)

9. have you ever fallen in love?

no

10. whats your dream date?

picnic!! picnics are so cute!!!

11. what do others notice about you?

how stubborn i am lol

12. what's an annoying habit you have?

uh im rlly spacey (?) so i tend to zone out a lot and thats kinda annoying

13. do you still talk to your first love?

i dont have a first love 😌

14. how many exes do you have?

tbh? i only rlly claim, like, 4

15. how many songs are in your playlist?

546 ksjdjks

16. what instruments can you play?

ive been playing the trumpet for like 3 years, i can play the ukulele and im starting to play the guitar

17. what do you have the most pictures of?

either aesthetics or kpop related things/people

18. where would you like to go before you die?

Thailand!! China!!! South Korea!!!!

19. what's your zodiac?

cap sun, sag moon, virgo rising

20. do you relate to it?

too much omg i hate capricorns

21. what is happiness to you?

being free to do what i want!!!

22. are you going through anything right now?

lol too much

23. whats the worst decision youve ever made?

hm thats private

24. whats your favorite store?

hm idk i like journeys a lot i love shoes

25. whats your opinion on abortion?

omg i have too many. women should chose what they want to do w their bodies. period.

26. do you keep a bucket list?

i actually do have one for the summer! its not rlly getting done tho

27. do you have a favorite album?

i could listen to the we go up album everyday of my life and never get tired of it.

28. what do you want for your birthday?

money lol

29. what are peoples first impressions of you?

that im "cool kinda funny but not rlly smart logical" -my best friend, 2019

30. what age do you seem according to most people?

hm like 15 lol

31. where do you keep your phone while youre sleeping?

under my pillow charging (bc i listen to music to sleep)

32. what word do you say the most?

"stupid whore or just whore or just stupid" - my best friend, 2019

33. whats the oldest age you would date?

probably also about 5 years older

34. what's the youngest you would date?

about 5 years bc its only fair

35. what job/career do you think would suit you?

probs like a lawyer or smth

36. whats your favorite music genre?

i rlly like k-hiphop/k-r&b but also alternative and indie and obvi kpop

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

probably south korea, canada or thailand

38. whats your current favorite song?

breathe by ab6ix, bet bet by nu'est, thrilla killa by vav, heaven by exo and 121U by day6 lol

39. how long have you had this blog?

idk like 7-8 month's?? oop

40. what are you excited for?

thursday bc i get to go over my friends house & swim in my new swim suit for the first time!!

41. are you a better talker or a better listener?

idk it kinda depends if its like a deep conversation then listener but if im mad then i probably wont hear you out lol

42. what is the latest productive thing you did?

i cleaned my whole room yesterday and MAN was it hard

43. what do you want for christmas?

clothes!!! gift cards!!! albums!!!!

44. what class do you get the best grades in?

other than band? english or history

45. on a scale 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

hm feelings wise maybe a 5 but like physically like a 2

46. what can you see yourself doing in 5 years?

honestly i have no idea

47. when did you get your first heartbreak?

n/a

48. what age do you want to get married?

i dont wanna marry

49. what career did you want as a child?

a marine biologist lol

50. what do you crave right now?

attention from chenle

[fictionkinfessionsarchived]

some replies, finally!!! Wow!

Anonymous said: i'm like 99% sure /post/176946019734/i-did-a-tarot-reading-for-my-canon-as-crowley-and is good omens kin!!

Maybe so! I'll add those tags! Thank you!

Anonymous said: Hey, uh, I sent in a confession that started with something like " THINGS " and uhh... yeah, please delete it? Not because I found out what I wrote was wrong, it's just... making me really anxious for whatever reason. Thank you and sorry for troubling you.

Oh no problem! It's gone now!

Anonymous said: Wait was the ask literaly from just a second ago from -name, two emojis anon? I think i forgot to turn anon on dmfhf -name, two emojis

You were anonymous! It's all good!

 Anonymous said: Do you have a confession from a Rakshata in there?

I'm sorry, we do not! :v Please feel free to try resending it and I'll post it asap!

Anonymous said: Hi! /post/177037250930/ is incorrectly tagged! Jolyne and Anasui aren't related and they're 19 and 25 :)

Shrug emoji ok I'll take those tags off! Thank you!

Anonymous said: About custom tags, is it fine if the tag is a url for a blog we have if it's just a blog to hold the url so no one else takes it and it doesn't have any links to any of our other blogs/any way to contact us?

No, I'm sorry, I still won't use the custom tag if it leads to a blog! I wouldn't be able to know it's a placeholder blog like you mentioned, or if someone is holding that url because they intend to switch to it in the future!

Anonymous said: what does smorchkin mean ??

It's explained here! http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/post/176835673431/what-is-smorchkin

Anonymous said: hey I sent in a kinfession an hour or two ago talking abt how my [someone] was talking abt name2, mine was shitty, and i signed as firstname last name two emojis (the emojis might’ve been switched? idk my memory is bad) could u delete it blease,? thanks in advance!

Yup! It's deleted!

Anonymous said: hey mod party cat ive been signing my name and,having trouble keepibg up w/ this blog can i please have a custom tag? -🔥🔫 if not this what ive been using bc of the gun and fire i can use 🦄😍 ty!! i also forget i send studd here then search all 60 some kins i can remember

I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, but yeah totally! Fire shooty is an excellent combo! Though, fwiw, I'm not personally going to remember what custom tag you want to use! Simply because I have a ton of tags to remember, and I don't want to mess up your custom tag! Also, if it helps, it's explain in this post, in Faq #9, how to use custom tags! In Faq #4 explains the differences between signatures, custom tags, and suggested tags!

http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/post/177009470403

and the Custom Tags Info and Guidelines page, newly updated to include the below FAQ question: http://fictionkinfessions.tumblr.com/customtags

And you do raise a good point about remembering custom tags! I'll add in a sort of suggestion/faq question to cover that concern! But for the sake of helping you and others, I'll also copy paste it below here!

What if I forget my custom tag? Can you help me figure out what tag I sent in?

There's two suggestions I have for this.

Immediately, or beforehand, track your custom tag in the tumblr's search index. Custom tags go into the third tag slot, and should appear as a tracked tag.

Save a text post in your main blogs drafts for what custom tags you have used for easy reference. It could also function as a master list of used custom tags if you also follow the below suggestion.

Additionally, if you have other kin blog(s), save a draft of what custom tags you have used for that specific kintype or source. This is particularly useful if you're like me, and tend to save posts to your drafts for private reference.

You could also send yourself an ask message of your custom tags to your main blog, or a sideblog that gets fewer ask messages on average.

If you have forgotten your custom tag, I can only propose making a new tag and following the above suggestions, or perusing posted kinfessions of the relevant sources, character names, or topics like shipping issues, memories, poie issue, and so on!