#i would add more tags but this post took me like at least 20 hours over two days to write out

[itsbeenliketenyearsitsprettywild]

on tag responses and reply trains or: "click the readmore for my analysis of the the (mostly) Greek love terms that sum up jayvik and jaymel and also at some point i forget how to shut the fuck up and turn this into what might as well be a thesis paper on jaymel as a duo and How Mel Is Dedicated To Jayce Her Own Way"

starting from op @aurieeeeeenyx's tags that got me thinking:

#you mightve guessed that ive been listening to the hadestown soundtrack again recently#but anyways. jayce going back over and over and failing in timeline after timeline in the hopes that maybe this time. maybe just this once#he'll succeed and get his partner back#viktor putting the whole of his faith and trust in jayce that jayce will come back for him even though he fails again and again#but still viktor cannot imagine not believing in jayce one more time#the way the entire universe hangs in the balance of their bond oh man#i feel like jayvik is beyond categorization they're like the peak of classical romance which is not necessarily kisses and dating etc#but like the purest form of intimacy and affection. or something#i should write a fic abt this#anyways . idk . im a big fan of meljayvik so mel fits in here SOMEWHERE i just havent figured it out yet#if you made it to the bottom of this wall of tags here's a pie 🥧

(the last tag isn't exactly relevant, but hey. free pie 🥧) my response in the replies (with a few spelling edits):

moreso than calling what Jayce and Viktor have 'classical romance' (as such a phrase feel like it could be confused with the Romantic movement in the arts, which doesn't have much to do with love directly), I feel like it would almost be more accurate to describe it using the ancient (and a just few more modern) Greek terms for love. They already exist as a way to delineate the many types of love that can exist either combined or singular that can be part of a relationship between two people. (there's like eight or nine different Greek/Greek-derived words to categorize love at this point depending on who you ask, feel free to look 'em up yourself - there are six ancient Greek ones in there too. the Greeks have been dissecting love for a *very* long time) Of the types of love exhibited between Jayce and Viktor specifically, I think what you're getting at is that it's a bond which involves this incredibly beautiful blend of philia and agape, with a bit of mutual meraki as well. In actual English - their bond is made of deep personal affection on a mental/personality level (philia literally translates to 'soul connection') which isn't hurt by their shared love of creating/inventing new technology together. All of this being further boosted by the fact that they would anything for each other, even if it means damning themselves or other reallities in the process. I'd love to go into meljay as contrast, in large part because their relationship feels pretty unique in terms of what we see in media, but there's only so many characters allowed in a reply lol. feel free to ping me if you want me to put the rest of the deets on this or another post, though (and clarify you want it on a reblog instead of a reply if that's the case, as i default to replies otherwise)!

op's reply:

actually it's funny you say this because the romantic movement in the arts is pretty much what i had in mind just because of the like...aesthetic? i feel like it comes with a certain mood of sublime beauty and some mix of nature/humanity/passion/nostalgia while being both subdued and Not, which the jayvik finale sort of embodies to me if that makes sense (but then again i'm not an art connoisseur so i could be spouting total bullshit) i do agree with your analysis of their bond in the framework of greek terms for love and think that funnily enough it goes back to the orpheus and eurydice thing again (arcane when i come for you and your greek tragedies WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU--) sooo i guess i'll have to do some more research on that and i'd love to hear about your thoughts on meljay! if you feel comfortable i think a reblog might help more people see it (in which case you might need to put my notes and/or your comment as context to this admittedly very short post) but i don't mind either way :D

And, since the notes and comments have been placed, time to continue (I've been using this website for reference and been extrapolating best i can, but I'm no expert on the subject so feel free to correct me on it)

I honestly find JayMel really interesting to analyze from this perspective, because I feel like media doesn't show many relationships with this unique blend of loves, and especially not presented in a way where it's actually given some weight and value to both people within it. So, to start:

This list is very, very long, so let me this for the sake of everyone's sanity...

TL; DR - While Jaymel absolutely involves sexual attraction between the two of them (and is sometimes connected to these more casual, playful moments between the duo), those aren't nearly all the facets of their love. Some of the other types include: how they both enjoy working on Hextech (from the angles of technology and politics respectively), even if they sometimes have to make deals and do things with it they personally don't like; the surprisingly tentative yet compelling nature of their friendship together; the practical ways they (read; mostly Mel) are willing to help and support each other on a much more functional level, and how that in turn plays a very large part in letting them further emotionally connect with one another and deepen their bonds as people.

First (and most obviously), Mel and Jayce's dynamic obviously has a fair amount of eros in it. Eros can best be described as 'sexual love' or 'physical desire for each other' - the kind of love most people (largely allosexuals) assume are a part of "romantic" relationships by default, though one doesn't have to be a couple to act upon mutual eros. Either way, it's absolutely a part of their dynamic that deserves to mentioned and recognized - pretty sure none of us are going to forget the Sextech scene any time soon, and all. But that's only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to their dynamic.

In a fair few scenes where eros between them is evident, there's also pretty obviously some ludus going on. Ludus is one of the more modern categorizations love types, and describes 'playful love' - something more casual or carefree, no strings inherently attached, but a noted expression of affection all the same. You know that forge scene in season 1, where Mel sarcastically calls Jayce's smithing 'a delicate art' and she watches him sexily hammer out some metal, or at the end of that same scene, where she leans into him seductively... only to smack him in the tiddies with his own forge bolt and adds the one-liner, "Hold onto your nuts?" That absolutely reads as ludus following up on the eros within their dynamic. After all, ludus is the kind of love found in booty calls and one night stands, but could also just be enjoying a night out drinking with your pals. Which makes jaymel really interesting, considering the fact that it's also steeped in the opposite type of love....

....Which, in all honestly, I feel like I'll only be able to talk about once I've described meraki. You see, this and the next type of love seem pretty deeply entwined with one another when it comes to my categorizing and understanding of jaymel, but it feels like this is the one best needed to help describe the context of the other. Now, meraki one of the terms coined after the ancient Greeks, being a modern word that most people who don't speak Greek down know about. Essentially (and i could be wrong about the best term to use - but honestly i legitimately feel like this a type of love that shapes them, and don't know a better word to use), meraki is the love of creation, the love one pours into the act of making art or writing poetry or skillfully setting a table - or, best as i can sum all that up, a love of your work/what you do. And, lest we forget, the thing that brought them (alongside Viktor, though he's not the focus of this post) together is... well, Hextech. It's just that the work Jayce and Mel happen to be doing in relation to creating Hextech happen to be quite different in nature. Nonetheless they're both quite necessary for its creation to come to fruition. For Jayce, this 'love of creation' he has for hextech is quite literal - he's one of the two geniuses who invents, designs and very directly builds machines and technology that utilize Hextech within them, and it's obviously from the get go that he loves the idea of it so much that he dedicated his life to it (something something what that means in terms of what he said in the finale-). Mel, meanwhile, also loves Hextech and how she goes about creating it - but, in her case, she creates far less literally than how Jayce and Viktor do, though still plenty important. Because, for all the boys physically create the technology, it wouldn't be able to have nearly as much of an impact as it does if there wasn't someone politically advocating for its use and working for it to become societally integral. For all Viktor and Jayce may love making their gadgets and gizmos that utilize it, she's the one who loves it enough to build it up as A Brand and help get Jayce into top enough form that Hextech can even have its own seat on the council (no matter how much she regrets that decision almost immediately afterwards. But, it's this difference in terms of how they precisely they go about creating Hextech that can lead to a divide in how much they enjoy particular parts of shaping that leads to struggle in staying dedicated to specific parts of the process, which really comes down to their comfort with....

Pragma, or 'practical/dedicated love'. Pragma is the final love term coined after the time of Ancient Greece, and essentially acts as the complete opposite of ludus. While ludus is all about fun and in-the-moment playfulness, pragma is the love shown by doing what needs to be done to keep things functional, even if said actions are not particularly fun or enjoyable themselves. It's not the same thing as agape/'sacrificial' love, because it's not a case of being willing to throw everything just to keep this one person happy. These things are being done because they have to be done to make sure everything stays okay, not because the thing they love comes before absolutely anything else. Though it might seem boring (or maybe even selfish, if you compare it to agape in particular), it's a huge part of all kinds of relationships you can find between people, and says as much about nature of a dynamic as anything else. But, as stated, this type of love between Jayce and Mel is seen very specifically when it comes to their mutual love for Hextech and less directly for each other. In making Hextech and allowing it to flourish as a technology, steps have to be taken to ensure sponsors and investments, so that they never lose access to the resources required to continue working on it. As such, deals have to be cut and made, as seen in the concert scene, and continuing to make sure Jayce and Viktor's projects are properly funded is something they have to do over and over again just to keep things moving. In this sense, the main difference between the two of them in this context is the nuance of their meraki - for all they both enjoy creating Hextech in some way, the types of work they enjoy dedicating themselves to contrast quite a bit. For Jayce, politics and lobbying for funding are only a small part of what he does for Hextech - and not what he gravitate towards naturally, charismatic as he can be. To him, his love of is for the literal process - the one that Viktor both enjoy creating as a team moreso than they'll ever enjoy doing it alone. Meanwhile politicking and dedication to Hextech's social and financial success (which is where a lot of the pragma comes to the forefront) is what Mel enjoys doing - alone if necessary, but preferably with one of the creators of Hextech at her side, to have another hand on deck and a more direct face to associate with it. As such, it *does* make its own kind of sense that the duo (jayvik) whose meraki is almost identical have an time easier time bonding personality-wise (tho i do think Mel and Vik would have an easier time of it- *shoves my melvik-in-the-polycule headcanons in a box for later*), in comparison to the fascinatingly tentative nature of Jayce and Mel's....

Philia, or 'soul connection'. For all it sounds like a term for soulmates or such, what it really just means is that two people get along well with each other when it comes to general socializing and interaction. This is the type of love that underpins deep friendships, but also romantic couples that go beyond just being sexually compatible (or queerplatonic couples - sadly, the terms for love never developed in such a way to make it *easy* to differentiate aspec couples from other kinds of dynamics, but we work with what we got), or even just coworker who get along pretty well. And it's here in particular that I find jaymel compelling as we see them in the show, because, for all we see them work together well on Hextech and be playful with each other and Do The Fuck, their philia seems... surprisingly awkward, or at least not nearly as natural as it is for jayvik (or how i headcanon it would be for melvik). To be clear: you're allowed to headcanon jaymel as more naturally friendly than this, like how many people like to extrapolate jayvik out to include some level of eros (which, once again, not disparaging, just noting as not being shown in Arcane directly). But in terms of what we actually see in the show... jaymel has a bit of a hard time with getting close on an emotional level. Which i honestly really appreciate; the show doesn't invalidate the love that is there simply due to this fact, after all. All the other parts of their relationship exist and are recognized in the narrative while still letting the philia between them not come as naturally as everything else. People's personalities may end up with them clashing fairly often, but they can still be close anyways. (well, as long as they work at it - but I'll segue into that subcategory in a little bit.) And because of this, they're able to take a very fun option: showing some of these moments of tension or awkwardness between them, and letting us as the audience watch how the two navigate and end up resolving these moments. Though some of these moments do end up getting interrupted by a third party, which can end up impacting how these moments of tension end up getting resolved. (I'm looking at you, Viktor, for how you interrupted that moment between jaymel and instigated the season 2 council room fight. go to ur eldritch jesus shame corner /lh/j) Speaking of reaction: Mel and Jayce each have distinct ways of expressing emotional distress (at least most of the time - Mel lets herself get a lot more angry with her mother than she would otherwise). For Jayce, his reactions are what he's infamous for in fandom - impulsively jumping into action based on his current feelings without considering what consequences. (read: almost always not what he wanted.) Meanwhile, Mel tends to withdraw into herself and act more emotionally unaffected than she actually is - for example, how her reaction to Jayce leaving in the middle of the night after Sextech is to... well, paint, and respond relatively neutrally up until Jayce justifies his actions. But it's in resolving of these conflicts that the two of them are able to start building up their philia and comfort with each other (beyond their mutual focus on hextech or sex) into a deeper level of companionship. The reason why their philia is able to end up further developing is due to the active usage of...

Pragma, not within the framework of Hextech. You see, Hextech-focused pragma can quite often lead to added tension between them instead of anything getting resolved, as seen when Mel gets Jayce voted onto the council without asking him first. In comparison, many of the moments of pragma between them that aren't focused on Hextech itself often lead to to bonding moments between the two of them as individuals. (Which makes sense as talking about work, even if you like doing it, doesn't tend to lead to much personal emotional intimacy.) Alongside that, there's one other thing that differentiates these moments of pragma from those focused on Hextech directly: in those situations where willingly taking action leads to them getting closer, it's almost always Mel who takes the initiative. For Jayce, the vulnerability he shows to her is never from a place of willingly dropped guard or conscious intent, but instead due to being absolutely overwhelmed by his emotions. As such, it's Mel who consistently dedicates herself to their relationship by reacting in ways that only really serve to benefit or support Jayce, such as: -> accepting her suddenly-given role as emotional after the discovery Viktor is dying -> voting Heimerdinger out of the council on Jayce's inferred behest -> comforting Jayce over said vote that he pushed through -> stalling while he's supposed to be leading the council so he has time to find Viktor -> implicitly supporting Jayce's decision to bring Viktor back from at least the brink of death, if not death itself, at the beginning of season 2 Even past the ones I listed, there's so many moments Mel has which speak to her own brand of love for Jayce, especially in season 1. Times where she very much chooses to act in favor of his interests, even though it in no way benefits her, can be readily pointed to as cases of pragma. For all they might not be big and noticeable, they help keep the dynamic functional and healthy. Though, that's not to say Jayce doesn't have a moment of pragma outside of working on Hextech. Though, unless I'm missing something, it is just. A singular moment for him. Which is after his implicit apology for the argument the two had in the council room before the Viktor fight in season 2. After the apology, Mel goes on to open up to him about how she unlocked her abilities as a mage, that he comforts her by saying that Mel could never be just a passenger in her body - this is a moment that, while it does nothing to help him personally, still speaks to him caring about Mel. But... that's pretty much we only case we have of him directly engaging in pragma in relation to Mel. (...But then again, we see a lot of him and his active cases of pragma in those situations in season 1 focused on Hextech in particular, so in that regard it evens out if you consider pragma a whole without those specific contexts in mind. But I digress.)

There's potentially one other type of love i was tempted to add to all this, but this post has gotten very, very long, so i think I leave it here. If you somehow got this far down: holy shit what the fuck (impressed). For the sake of the sane people. I think I'll be putting my TL;DR at the top of the list.

oh yeah also jayvik are extremely orpheus and eurydice coded i don't make the rules

[megumi-fm]

26th to 30th Apr; doa🚲 complete!!

hi. gah. okay. here's my wrap up for the month

📝 prepped for and completed the last set of internal tests for this degree [2/2] (which I got through after much cribbing and whining and quite literally projecting study topics onto my blorbos 👍 ) 📝 started GRE prep!

🎓 got some gradecard related paperwork done 🎓 spoke to my prof regarding my internship deliverables for uni—report format, certificate requirements, etc etc

📥 I voted! it was the first central elections since I turned to an adult and the whole experience was quite interesting

💻 completed a bunch of tasks for my internship

💻 made like a super extensive flowchart about all the work done at my internship which took me like a total of 20+ hours T-T 💻 finished preparing my Uni Internship presentation! 💻 submitted the presentation to the assistant guide, waiting on her response to make changes atm

🍶 7+ glasses of daily water intake 🎵 svt's new single is out and I've been going insane about it and thus this challenge comes to an end... I had started this off as an 18day daily habit tracker but then it kind of grew out into a challenge for the month. Special thanks to Yumi the loml <3 (@thelastneuron) for starting the Days of April challenge (Yumi idk when you'll see this but i miss you and I hope you've been kicking ass during your hiatus). also massive thanks to Zip (@zipstidbits) for leaving the kindest comments/tags on my post during the past week and to Tanishka (@booksbluegurl) who is literally the sweetest and has been sending in asks and keeping me company during this challenge <3

there's a lot more i wanna yap about in regards to how the month went but I'll leave that under the tags xD goodnight besties <3

month end brainrot

april started off with dips and more dips but by the end of the month it feels like I've caught up. productivity is a wave so as long as I keep riding at it i'll be okay.

also. progress is cumulative. even the seemingly inconsequential completion of daily tasks has lead to an overall improvement through the week. things add up

I spent a lot of time this month (and moreso this past week) feeling dejected that I've been leaving my tracker posts (and my digital planner entries) incomplete... but like. the whole point of trackers and planners (and this studyblr) is to get work done. work is the priority and the tracking is a means to an end. so if im getting work done that is already a win. yeah... i've had to keep reminding myself that

there is no one-tool-fix for tracking and journalling. what works for planning out one task will not work for the other. I need to strop trying to fit all my plans into one formulaic strategy box

on that note. it's time to return to handwritten journaling. digital journalling (notion + YPT + discord + tumblr) was fun while it lasted <3 but my brain needs novelty again so it's time i switch back. I think I finally have an idea for a system that could be sustainable for me... although I say that every time I switch to a new form of tracking. but hey. as long as it helps me get work done for whatever duration of time, it's good enough

using kpop and kdrama references to make notes and study really paid off. ngl I only did it cause I was super desperate but incorporating stuff I couldn't understand with a topic I really like paid off. It also gave me the motivation and momentum to study for much longer than I otherwise would have

last but not least. my water intake has been really good this month! I've also been eating healthy and I've been cooking more my phone usage has also been reduced by a lot. sure none of them have had a perfect streak but i started at zero and it feels like I've levelled up quite a bit. the exercise component has been a bit difficult to maintain given my workload :/ i need to figure out what to do about that...

yep. that's it for now. this month really tired me out, I think im gonna lay off daily challenges for a while. For now I guess I'll stick to my (bi?tri?)weekly tracker posts xD

[sorcerous-caress]

hope this isn't weird to ask but how long have you been writing and how old are you? did you ever take any courses related to writing or have you been improving through writing as a hobby?

Hey it's not weird at all, I'll happily answer!

I'm 20 years old, and I have been writing non-continuously since I was 12.

My first fic was written with colon punctuation for spoken dialogue instead of quotation marks bc I didn't know what those were at the time. For example:

Bob: nice weather we're having today (he said with a smile)

Bob2: I signed the divorce papers, they're on the counter. (Sighing at the other's stubbornness)

I posted it on wattpad.

Afterwards, I never wrote anything else, but I learned about Ao3 and kept enganging in fandom spaces. At 14, I joined roleplaying group chats, which made me think and write faster to keep the rp going. Eventually, it became one on one rp with another person where we would take our chat history log, freshen it up a bit, then post it as a fic.

By 16, I joined a fandom server with a semi serious writing subcategory in it. People more experienced and much older than me would beta for other's story. It's where I picked up the habit to write drafts in google docs so I can easily share the link for a beta reader to add suggestions to.

I still haven't written another fic by then, not by myself, at least. I got very insecure at the time about my writing and lack of knowledge. Mind you, I joined the server, not knowing what punctuation was. It took several beta readers adding punctuation for me until it finally clicked that I should use it.

It felt like I was an outcast in a way? Sure, everyone treated me just as nicely as others there, but I noticed the little things that added up over time. Like how no one would react or talk about the stories I post, but if someone else shares theirs, then the entire server gushes over it. Or how one time I reacted to my own story with an emoji, only for someone else to mention how it's me who clicked it and I shouldn't do that. It was a very unhealthy environment for a 16-year-old surrounded by 30-20 years old, but I stuck to it because I wanted to improve my writing.

Even if I was ignored, they'd still beta for me as a chance to offer "constructive criticism." Artists can be very petty when a low skilled person joins them.

My skills improved, and I posted my second fic! It was nothing remarkable, but it felt like the first stone into the stairway of improvement, yk? I loved that fic, it was my crowning jewel.

But as a result, I started to hate writing. It was a struggle, I'd spend hours on two sentences while others on the server were bragging about their 50k fics. I hated my own inability to perform better, to write better.

I got sick of reading my own writing from the number of times I'd rewrite it in an attempt to format it better. I couldn't even bare look at other's writing or read fanfics on AO3 because I'd always compare their writing to mine. Break their style down and analyse it in an attempt to spot what I'm doing wrong.

I left the server eventually, abruptly too. It was for the better.

I swore off of writing.

For two years, that was true. I gradually came to reading fanfics again, but just looking at a blank document was enough to get me nauses.

By 18, Aot happened, and the boom in x reader fanfics.

Everything I've written up to this point has been ships. Not once did I consider the idea of an x reader. For a while, I used to scoff at it and label it as cringe, as if the ship fanfics I was reading wasn't cringe either. Elitism, I tell you.

I saw these request blogs and how posting on tumblr seemed less intimidating than AO3. How intimate it felt to have an anon talk to you about your own fic that you wrote for them, to have people discussing your writing and stories with you! And they ask for more!

Sign me tf up.

I started my first writing blog, and I didn't know shit. I learned as I went. The new formatting, the tumblr tag system, creating a masterlist.

How important presentation is in here.

In AO3, your fic has the same chance of being read as any other one. Only your description is there to judge it by. But on tumblr? The shiny bookcover was almost as important as the material inside. In here, you have to market your own fic, present it with a lovely bow on top, add a pretty eyecatching header, and all the right trending tags.

Luckily, it clicked easy for me. I used free domian paintings from past centuries to make my covers, and they stood out amongst the anime cover galore. It was a little pretentious, I admit, but I also was a little pretentious, so it's alright.

I played my cards right, answered requests enthusiastically, and delivered fics at a fast rate. Paid attention to what styles worked best and what genres attracted more attention. At that point, it was a numbers game for me. Play marketing right, and you'll win at capitalism.

It felt very degrading and dirty.

My personal style fazed out, and my fics had a sanitised safe for mass consume feel to it. It was written to appeal to you rather than written out of any real love or passion.

It was soulless garbage.

Not to mention at the time I still used the same unhealthy and needlessly convoluted writing method I learned from that server. Yes I cut ties with them but I still didn't have any other alternative writing method to use.

What's that? Just write however I want? Are you crazy? What like my 12y old self wrote on wattpad? My 18y old self would rather die than actually be true to themselves.

I was extremely insecure and afraid of being labelled as "cringe" I completely ereased any stray stains of personality that managed to trickle their way down into my writing. Not once did I write for myself during that time, and not once did I actually enjoy a single piece I made.

I hated all of them, I couldn't bear to even read the fics I wrote. But I still made more and more to appease the requesters, still forced myself to sit and write each morning for hours on end.

A tight timeline, an exhausting production and no friends or hobbies to fall back into and relax. It was a fucking nightmare.

What ircked me the most was how people would just keep requesting more without a thank you or even a fuck you afterwards. It's like it's a fast food drive-through and I should be grateful for any attention I get.

But I never said a word. I never complained because complaining drives away people and engagement. No, I needed to keep my happy chill imagine and never show any emotion or talk about my struggles in real life or writing.

Instead of realising I hated my writing because of its lack of essence and soul, I convinced myself instead that it's because my skill level is still too low.

So I searched online. I found writing courses I couldn't afford, and neither could I ask my family for money for anything at the time because of personal reasons.

So I put on my pirate hat.

Apparently, people don't bother uploading the scam writing tips courses to pirate websites. That's fair.

Instead, I pirated books from famous authors talking about writing. Read them and tried to apply their methods, ignored my own preferences, and wrote to fit their subjective standards of what good writing is.

I signed up for free trials courses that didn't require a credit card and copied every single file into my hard drive before the trail ended.

I had so much material to study. I watched youtube videos about writing. I really really tried everything I could.

But I still loathed every fucking word I put down on these pages.

And I hated how a general advice in writing was to "follow your heart" what is that supposed to mean? I can't do that. Others do not like my heart, It has been proven many times before so how about you just give me some useful advice instead you useless wrinkled piece of shit book?

.

..

...

You can't force or fake creativity.

You can fake an elegant writing style, you can copy interesting lines from famous books and apply them to your own writing, you can include every trendy word in all the right places.

But you can't fake creativity.

I wished I was 12 again. Writing fics on wattpad, where my style was worse than garbage, and yet I loved it. People loved it.

Because it was garbage with a soul, a garbage that had empty chocolate milk bottles and spilt sprinkles. A garbage that showed personality and where my priorities were. With kids' fingerprints in colourful paint and a toddler's fridge artpiece.

A garbage that mirrored my love for the art.

And I ruined it. I traded it all for stupid punctuation that I didn't even care for.

I was happy.

Like every other probome in my life, I ran away.

I hit my breaking point. The requests were never ending, the studying and writing books were getting more and more pretentious and contradicting themselves. I barely had time to eat, I don't talk to people or go outside.

I do not have the time for anything, I missed having friends.

I left the blog. I stopped writing, it was too anxiety inducing.

I got into videogames again, I enjoyed the text heavy ones. I chose to ignore what that implied.

They were so...beautiful.

And fun!

I made some friends, I was happy for a while.

Then, one of my favourite characters in my video game mentioned missing their parents, how hard the funeral was.

It hit home.

I'm not writing, I convinced myself with a lie, I'm just gonna put down my thoughts on them...in a google document.

See just around 1k words, easy peasy. I AM NOT WRITING. It doesn't count.

But I did write it. Not with any calculated formula or method. I wrote my thoughts like how I hear them in my head and what I felt, what I imagined the character would feel.

Then, I added some dialogue, trimmed the corners, and sprinkled in euphemism.

It was simple and bare, vulnerable.

I posted it. It never got much traction.

But I was happy, I liked it, even loved it and kept rereading it.

I was 19.

I nervously showed it to my friend. They mentioned how much they can't stand reading books or fics because the words overwhelm them courtesy of their ADHD.

But they managed to read mine. Very smoothly.

Because my style, my own personal style that is set to my preference, makes me write in small paragraphs and straightforward. I never linger on details or focus on one thing for too long, I always give breaks and seperate events from each other.

And it clicked for this one person who struggled with reading, a style that will get criticism in any serious writing circle for being too simple or childish.

They liked it.

I hate needless convolution.

I just turned 20 years old, I asked for Baldur's Gate 3 early access as my birthday gift.

I received it, I played it.

I fell in love with its writing.

Then I made this blog, and I promised myself not to follow rabbits into any holes again. To reject the requests I don't want, to write because I love to, because I find it interesting or fun.

To never feel obligated to any thing or person. Only write if I want to, only post it if I want to. And if I don't want to? Then I simply won't.

And yes this blog gets much less attention than my first one but the people in here, the anons and my readers, they interact much more with me and my writing. It feels much better to have a handful of people genuinely excited and curious about your stories than a hundred people who would only leave likes and leave.

I have never touched a writing course or a helpful book since then. I block every writing tips blog, I see. I hate each and every single post about writing tricks and immediately skip past it.

I don't care if I improve anymore. I don't care if people don't read my stuff. I do not care if my style degenerates so much and reverts back to wattpad. All I care about is the fact I love writing and I enjoy it, I plan to keep it this way.

-

It's also funny that I'm writing in English since I when I first started writing at 12 it was in Arabic. My first fic? In Arabic.

And I was willing to go down that road yk. Keep true to my heritage and culture, write in my own beautiful language.

But. I wrote about queer topics and stories. Homophobia is still a massive thing in our society. My story was more infamous and taboo than famous and beloved.

I had so many people coming to my dms to "educate" me about religion and sin. How what I'm doing is wrong and the message I'm spreading is haram.

It was funny at first especially when it was the quran that made me want to write in the first place. Because it's actually a collection of poems! It just loses its rhythm when translated to English. It was so beautifully written, I'd listen to it always as a kid.

But then those dms became unbearable and I decided to learn english to join the western fandoms instead. A 12y old just deciding to fuck it and learn a whole new language to write gay fics.

A lot of my struggles in writing at 12-17 was because I was still learning English at the time.

This was fun. Thank you so much for asking this, anon! I had the chance to reminisce about the past.

I made so many mistakes. But I'd rather having made them and reached this point of content with myself than not having made them at all.

[angryschnauzer]

The Dark Wolf

Summary:  The Dark Wolf hadn't picked an Omega yet, it had been three months since the Spring Equinox and still the omegas that had been selected hadn't been successful. With your heat approaching you could only however think of the gentle Alpha that would visit you at work, distracting you from your impending heat... and you selection as the Omega for the Dark Wolf.

Pairing: Adopted Stark Omega Daughter Reader x Alpha Bucky Barnes

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, ABOAlpha/Omega, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Werewolf, Mating Rituals, Ritual Sex, Heat Cycles, rut cycles, Full Moon, Witchcraft, Unprotected Sex, Mating, Breeding, Knotting

I do not run a tag list but please follow @angryschnauzerwrites​ and put that blog onto notifications to get alerts whenever i post new stories. Oneshots will be posted on Tumblr and AO3, Multichapter stories will be AO3 exclusives. Masterlist is now AO3, link HERE.

The Dark Wolf

 It was springtime yet a keen wind swirled at your ankles as you quickly made your way home. It was late in the day and the sun was already dipping below the horizon, the thick forest that surrounded the village making the days shorter with their tall canopy. A group of girls around the same age as you ran past, laughing and joking as they made their way towards the tavern, unaware of you as you carried the heavy basket from the market. The stalls had been packing away by the time you got there, your job at the bakery keeping you busy most of the day.

As the girls passed by, their scent was thick on the air; cloying and sickly as the synthetic heat pheromones they had added to their perfume to make them more attractive to any Alpha’s at the tavern assaulted your senses, making you quietly sneeze. Their voices were high pitched and clawed at your ears as they squealed and laughed;

“Maybe that dress will be enough to convince the Dark Wolf to take you tonight!”

“Ooh do you think? He hasn’t chosen a mate yet this season, do you think he’ll do it soon?”

“It’s coming close to summer, usually he’s chosen by now”

 “Who do you think the Dark Wolf is?”

 “I don’t know, but the full moon is in two days’ time, and if you want to get chosen, you’ll need to bring your heat on pretty soon”

 “I just need a big dumb Alpha that’s about to Rut to trigger my heat!”

 “Well keep an eye out for the red paint on your door, you know that’s how the Dark Wolf chooses his Omega”

They all laughed as they went, and you could smell arousal in the air, little did you realise it was your own.

 The wind blew their scent away as quickly as it had brought it, and pushing against the gusts you pulled your cardigan tighter around your body. You had always dreamed of an Alpha to take care of you, to help bring his pups into the world, have a whole pack of little ones. Shaking your head you tried to rid yourself of the thoughts that wanted to enter your mind of the Alpha you pined for, knowing if you got distracted it would only make you feel worse.

 Finally the tall eaves of your father’s house came into view, giving you a sense of relief as you made your way up the pathway and into the house, closing the old black door behind you.

 Your Adopted father was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the two of you, his arms still covered in soot from where he’d been working all day at his forge, if there was one thing Tony Stark knew how to do, it was fix anything made of metal. Dropping the vegetables he was peeling he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pressed a kiss to your forehead;

 “Hey Sweetie, are you doing ok? Get everything you need?”

 “Yeah, thanks Dad” you replied awkwardly.

 Tony had raised you alone, doing his best to raise a girl - and now a young woman in her early 20’s - and had done his best to help you with the more feminine side of things. He had never suppressed your urge to learn your mothers art of witchcraft, helping you where he could, and when it came to the time when you had started to feel the Omega Heat, he had encouraged you to deal with it however you had felt right. 

 Setting the heavy basket of herbs and produce onto the table, you set about resting the fresh herbs into little vases with water to keep them fresh, and opening the package of freshly roasted coffee beans to let them cool enough to store them in jars;

 “I’ll make an elixir tomorrow, the bakery had me run ragged today… I’m not feeling great”

 “If you’re sure Honey. Why don’t you go take a bath and I’ll have dinner ready in an hour”

 “Thanks Dad”

-

 The next morning you woke and felt the first pang of pain in your stomach, telling you that your heat was closer than you thought. You had slept fitfully, dreams marred by a large wolf; the Werewolf that haunted the village and wanted to claim a mate. You’d felt fear but also something else, something you couldn’t place, and in the dream when the wolf had been close enough to touch you had seen a familiarity in his eyes before suddenly you were awake.

 Drenched in sweat you knew you needed to get your elixir made unless you wanted to try and cope with a heat without an Alpha to knot you, so you dressed quickly in the previous days clothes and quietly made your way downstairs, moving around the kitchen as you set the large pot of water onto the stove to boil before starting to add the herbs you bought the day before. Stirring the aromatic mixture you suddenly stopped;

 “Rosemary!” you muttered quietly to yourself, before stepping out of the front door and crossing the garden barefoot, the dewy grass cool on the soles of your feet. Plucking a handful of sprigs you raised them to your face and inhaled their fresh scent, smiling as it hit your senses as you turned, and that’s when you saw it. The red paint.

 “NO!” you screamed, frozen to the spot. 

 Seconds later your father appeared at the doorway, looking around wildly before seeing you and rushing to your side;

 “What? What is it?”

 You pointed, your hand shaking and he followed your gaze before sharply inhaling; there it was, a wide and vivid swipe of red paint on your black front door;

 “Daddy… please… get a rag. It still looks wet”

 “Honey… ok honey…”

 His reassurance was interrupted by a quiet cough at your garden gate, causing you both to turn and that’s when you saw him;

 “Constable Rogers…”

 “Tony… you know its Steve, not Constable”

 “Steve… really? The pack chose my Little Girl?”

 Steve set a large hand on Tony’s shoulder;

 “It’s the choice. She won’t be harmed. But you know it’s the ritual and it's the law” Steve paused, and you could see the conflict on his face as he spoke; “She’s not a little girl anymore Tony, she’s a beautiful woman”

 Tony stood partially in front of you, trying to protect you;

 “I get that Steve… but it should be her choice. This seems so… so… barbaric…”

 “Maybe so, but I’m not here to argue with you… you know my job…”

 Tony nodded. He knew the laws. He’d done his best to bend them or influence them as much as possible, but the rules of the Werewolf that lived in the woods called for a mate once a year, his chosen Omega would spend the first full moon after the spring equinox with him, and if she was suitable she would bear his child and become his wife… and yet no-one knew the face of the man who was this wolf, just that it was one that walked among them. And for the last three months the chosen women had been returned to the town at the end of the three nights of full moon. Each said the same of their time away; it was not to be spoken of; they were unsuitable.

 The Constable - Steve - held out his hand for you and you paused, still grasping your fathers’ hand before he spoke to you;

 “It’s your choice. I will fight it for you if you don’t want to go”

 “It’s ok Dad. I haven’t been able to make the suppressant elixir in time, there isn’t any other way to deal with this Heat that is coming”

 Tony nodded before he glanced at your feet;

 “At least let me get you some shoes. Barefoot in the forest is not as enjoyable as barefoot on a soft lawn”

 -

 Standing on the cold stone slab in the clearing you watched as Steve tied the rope around your wrist to the solitary tree that stood in the centre;

 “Why are you doing this?” you asked.

 He froze. It was the first thing you’d said since you’d left your father’s house. He had almost forgotten you had a voice you had been so quiet. He cleared his throat;

 “You know it’s the way. And as the village constable have to uphold what it written”

 “Is this not… not archaic? To leave me out here to be taken against my will?”

 Steve stood straight and looked at you, his hand softly cupping your face;

 “It’s not like that. When the Dark Wolf appears, you will know if it’s right. He will know. He will approach you and if your scent pulls you from his Lycanthropy, he’ll know you are the right Omega”

 “What if… what if it doesn’t trigger his Rut? What if I’m not the right Omega?”

 “Then he will try again tomorrow night”

 “And leave me here to suffer my Heat? Alone?”

 Steve took a deep breath, looking away and unable to meet your gaze;

 “You will not be alone”

 He had finished tying the ropes and had tested them to make sure they were secure before stepping away, and with a sigh he turned and quickly made his way out of the clearing and into the dense forest. You had seen him flinch each time you’d screamed out his name, your throat finally becoming hoarse and you let out a pitiful sob as you fell to your knees. Curling up against the side of the old oak tree, you tried to clear your mind, your fingers drawing patterns in the soil, trying to remember some of the old magic you knew. The full moon was setting in the sky above you as morning broke, the sequence of the phases seemingly out of sorts.

 Suddenly you felt a pain in your stomach, you knew exactly what it was; your Heat was fast approaching. The sweat started to bead across your chest, your breathing getting heavier, as the first spasm shot through you something suddenly moved in the thick brush at the side of the clearing. Your eyes darted in that direction but saw nothing but ferns and undergrowth. As another wave of Heat pains started to build, movement out of the corner of your eye distracted you from your impending heat. This time whatever it was stood still, yet all you could see was a glowing pair of eyes in the darkness of the surrounding forest. 

 Forgetting about your Heat and your incantations you were trying to draw in the earth, you instead focused your attention upon the rope that tied you to the tree. When Steve had said you would not be alone, was this what he meant? Your scared fingers worked on the knot in the rope, trying to loosen it. 

 A quiet growl echoed from the darkness and as the panic set in you felt a rush of power surge through you, grasping the rope that tied you with both hands you pulled it harshly and it snapped at the tree. 

 You did not wait, you were running, running as fast as your feet could take you. Blindly rushing through the dense forest, you could hear creatures chasing after you, the growls and gnashing of teeth. The surge of energy your heat was giving you powered you on, deeper into the forest, further from home. A shrill howl sent a chill down your spine, but you continued your sprint. The sounds of the creatures behind you were getting closer, ahead the forest floor rose steeply, the sharp incline slowing you as your feet slid on the dry pine needles that had fallen from the tall spruce trees that towered above you. 

 You slipped, your smooth and simple slippers giving no traction and your fingers dug into the forest floor. You fell to your knees and squeezed your eyes shut, doing what little you could do to prepare yourself for whatever happened next. But… but the growling stopped, the forest fell silent. Opening one eye then both you slowly turned, letting out a cry as you saw the pack of wolves surrounding you, but none were looking to you, their attention fell upon the rocky outcrop above you.

 Turning you looked up and gasped, he was there; the Dark Wolf. 

 With a loud snarl he jumped from the rocky outcrop and over you, landing gracefully at your feet as he growled loudly at the baying pack that surrounded you. Circling around he trod silently, the hairs on his spine standing on end as he bared his teeth at the pack as they kept trying to approach, before standing beside you. He seemingly paused before pointing his snout to the sky and let out a powerful howl. 

 You watched, dumbfounded as each wolf sat. It was clear that the Dark wolf was in charge; that he was the Alpha of the pack. He turned, his icy blue gaze directed at you before he reached his head down and took the rope in his mouth that was still tied to your wrist. He tugged it gently and you pushed yourself to your feet, the smooth soles of your shoes slipping on the loose pine needles that covered the dirt, and he rested the side of his body against your thigh, steadying you. Resting your hand on the coarse fur to steady yourself as he led you down the slope, you found yourself surprised by how soft his fur was, almost as if it was spun silk. 

 The pack parted like a tide, letting the Dark Wolf lead you into the darkness of the forest by the rope between its jaws. You could hear the pack following, keeping its distance, yet somehow you weren’t afraid; you felt safe with the Dark Wolf. 

 Through the dense trees a solitary cabin came into view, its windows black as if abandoned, yet deep red geraniums had been carefully planted around the doorway. The soft forest floor made way for sandstone paving, and you let Dark Wolf lead you to the entrance. 

 Arriving at the porch he sat beside you and whined like a dog would, looking from you to the door and back again. 

 “Oh, right… no opposable thumbs in your paws”

 If wolves could roll their eyes it would have, and as you reached forwards for the door handle you tested it, the door swinging open on its creaky hinges. Looking to Dark Wolf you smiled;

 “Whoever lives here needs to do some maintenance”

 The wolf let out a snort before standing, gently leading you by the rope that still hung from your wrist. He paused in the hallway before pushing his behind against the door to close it, leading you into the cabin through dark hallways, finally coming to a single room, surrounded on three sides by floor to ceiling windows that looked out to the forest. Pulling you onto the bed he sat on his haunches before you tumbled onto the soft mattress.

 Only then did you realise how tired you were, exhausted from not only the chase through the forest, but also the drama of the morning on top of a poor night’s sleep. As if on cue you felt the cramp in your stomach; remind you that your heat was starting, and without thinking you curled up onto the bed, clutching at your stomach in the foetal position. Screwing your eyes shut you couldn’t help the whimper that escaped your lips, the surge of heat flowing through you. And yet… suddenly you felt a cold nose press against your neck, before a heavy snout rested on you. It calmed you. Curling your fingers into Dark Wolf’s fur, you screwed your eyes shut, the waves of heat tiring you, until you blacked out and a deep sleep took hold.

 -

 You could feel your mind pulling you from your deep sleep and you snuggled into the soft pillows a little further. You felt movement against you and your hands sought out the soft fur that was pressed to your chest, curling it between your fingers. There was something calming about the beast that lay beside you, even with your eyes closed you could hear its breathing was steady and strong;

 “You’ve helped, you know?”

 At the sound of your quiet voice it shifted slightly, and although you hadn’t yet opened your eyes you could sense it was looking at you as you continued;

 “For whatever this is, you calmed me. I was so scared, not just of the pack, but of what would happen. I had been waiting… hoping… you see at the bakery there is one man that visits, I had been hoping he would ask to court me, but he always seems so shy…”

 The wolf’s breathing caught before you heard a voice;

 “I think it’s time you opened your eyes Omega”

 No. It couldn’t be… your eyes were squeezed shut but you wanted to look… yet you didn’t… you knew that voice, you’d heard it the day before when the soft and quiet Alpha you’d always pined for had visited the bakery the and had ordered the last of the cinnamon buns you had coveted so much, the ones you always ordered right before your heat arrived, that were your comfort food.

 “Omega…”

 “James?”

 “Open your eyes”

 Meekly you did as he asked, and he was there; in front of you. Your fingers were curled around his long dark hair and his face was inches from your own, his pale blue eyes staring straight into your soul. After what seemed like an eternity you finally found your voice;

 “You’re the Dark Wolf?”

 He nodded;

 “For the last few months, yes”

 Frowning at his response, you didn’t understand what he meant.

 “It is a different member of the pack each year… For the last three months whenever an Omega was brought to the clearing, they weren’t a match…”

 “A match? But, surely it’s just the nature of an Alpha and an Omega?”

 “Not for Werewolves. The right Omega will pull a werewolf out of its cycle. It’s why I’m here, like this, now…”

 You thought over what he’d said, your eyes going wide in the realisation of what it meant; that you were meant to be his;

 “Is this why you never said anything? At the bakery? Or when I would see you in the market? You were saving me for this barbaric ritual?”

 James’s face dropped, the hope seemingly leaving his body at your words;

 “I… I… I would be made to choose. If it’s your ‘year’ as the Dark Wolf, if you choose a mate before you have taken part in the ritual, that mate is rejected… I didn’t want that to happen to you…” he looked up at you through watery eyes; “When Steve told me that another Omega had been selected this month, I hoped so much it would be you…this is my final month, my final chance...” 

 His words trailed off and you didn’t want to think what would have happened to him if he hadn’t of picked a mate this month. Cupping his cheek with your hand you gently stroked your thumb over his stubbled skin before closing the distance between the two of you and your lips met. 

 The kiss was soft at first, but as you both became bolder and Bucky’s arms wrapped around your body to pull you flush with his, you found yourself relenting to his charms. 

 You were mid kiss when you felt the first pang of cramp in your stomach, this time you whimpered loudly, James pulling away and started to strip you of your clothing;

 “C’mon Omega… let me help you…”

 “James, it hurts… its hurts so much…”

 “I know, let me at your skin and I can take the hurt away. And please, call me Bucky… the pack leader calls me James when I’m in trouble…”

 You let him move you, quickly unbuttoning your dress before pulling your underwear off, finally untying the rope that was still around your wrist, and he moved back so he could take in your naked beauty… and yet you felt ashamed, embarrassed, trying to cover yourself with your hands until he gently caught your hands in his own large grasp;

 “Omega, what is it?”

 “I have never…”

 “You’ve never been with an Alpha?”

 You shook your head, and Bucky leaned forwards and pressed his forehead to yours;

 “Oh, my sweet Omega, I am here to help you, we can do as much or as little as you want or need”

 He settled you against the soft pillows and rested his head against your chest, listening to your heartbeat as you wound your fingers through his long hair. Finally, he felt your pulse slow and he started to press kisses down your torso until he reached your soaked core. Running his fingers through the copious slick that coated your folds, he hummed his appreciation at the sweet scent that filled his senses, before leaning forwards and pressing a kiss to your swollen clit;

 “You smell so good Omega, can feel you trembling, let me taste you, make you cum with my tongue”

 “Bucky…” you whined, and you felt more than heard him chuckle as you wanted him to stop talking and start doing… something, anything.

 He got the hint and with one long lick he covered your entire pussy, tasting you, groaning at your sweetness. Hooking your legs over his wide shoulders he gripping onto your thighs, burying his head between your legs as his long tongue delved deep within you, fucking you with the strong muscle and you could feel the heat pains ebbing away and being replaced by those of pleasure. His fingers found your clit and he strummed against the sensitive nub, making you scramble for something to grip onto. With your legs shaking and your fingers curled through his soft dark hair you were coming hard, and he relished every drop, drinking your slick as it gushed from your core until you were spent. 

 When your legs went limp and your hand fell to the sheets he slowly pulled away, pushing himself up to sit as he used the back of his hand to wipe the shining slick from his chin. Reaching the other hand he pressed his warm palm to your stomach tenderly;

 “How do you feel now Omega?”

 “Good… oh my god, so good…”

 “Wait here, I’m going to go get you some water”

 You lay there on his soft bed, eyes closed and listening to nothing but your heartbeat until you finally heard him approaching, pushing yourself up to sit only to let out a squeak of surprise;

 “You’re naked!”

 He stopped in the doorway and looked down as if it was a surprise to him too;

 “Yes? So are you?”

 “But… you’re naked!”

 You couldn’t draw your eyes away from his body, your gaze raking up and down as you tried to take in every chiselled plain and curve. From his wide shoulders and muscled arms, down his torso and stomach where his abdominal muscles tapered down in a deep v to his crotch. The thick thatch of dark hair that surrounded the thick and heavy length that swung between his legs, to the powerful thighs that looked bigger than you could ever have imagined;

 “Omega…” he gently laughed; “I literally woke up from being a wolf half an hour ago… I haven’t left your side…”

 He closed the distance between you, sitting on the side of the bed before handing you a glass of water and a plate. The scent of the treat the plate contained drew your attention, and you instantly recognised what it was;

“The cinnamon buns from the bakery! I always have these as my heat starts!”

 He smiled and as you ate you couldn’t help it, but your eyes continually strayed to his crotch, watching as his thick length would twitch and slightly swell the longer you looked at it. When you had finished eating, he silently took the plate from you before handing you the glass of water which you gratefully took, downing it quickly before handing it back;

 “Thank you”

 Setting the glass and plate onto the floor Bucky turned back to you;

 “How are you feeling now?”

 “Sleepy still, hot… yet cold…” you looked away shyly; “It makes me want to curl up but have you here with me…”

 “That we can do… scoot over, unless you want me to climb over you…”

 Laughing you moved to the centre of the bed watching in the pale light that still came in the large windows that surrounded the bedroom as the sun set having slept through most of the day. Bucky grabbed the oversized quilt as he shuffled in beside you, pulling it over your naked bodies as he curled his arm over your stomach and pulled you flush with his chest. Turning until you were the little spoon to his big. 

 It felt natural to be there in Bucky’s arms, to have his breath on your neck and his hands on your stomach. You could feel your body getting hotter and whimpered, you knew the heat hadn’t been sated, that you needed more, and your Alpha picked up on the change in your scent immediately. His lips found you bonding mark and he pressed kisses to the skin, soothing your body as he rubbed at the spot with his nose, his lips brushing against your shoulder as he felt you push your ass back against him. His dick was growing harder for every second he held you in his arms, and with you rubbing against him he couldn’t help but to rut against the soft globes of your ass, your voice startling him for a moment;

 “Bucky… Alpha...  I need you…”

 Bucky knew what you needed, and before he had even moved a muscle you were turning, getting to your knees;

 “Omega… are you presenting for me?”

 Looking over your shoulder you nodded;

 “Please Alpha… I need you… need your knot…”

 Bucky positioned himself at your soaked core, the feel of your hot slick against his dick almost overwhelming, and as he breached your entrance, he let out a low growl as he sank into your swollen channel. Moving his hips fluidly he coated his heavy girth in your slick, and with each thrust he knew he was in heaven. This was it; he was never going to find an omega better than you; you were the one he wanted to spend the rest of his days with;

 “Fuck, Omega… you feel so good…”

 “Bucky… Please… make me yours”

 His hands gripped your hips as he fucked you, stretching you out so beautifully that he feared he would cum far too soon, but as you rocked back with each of his thrusts he regained control. Putting more power into each push, his powerful thighs became coated in your slick as it spilled out of you around his dick, filling the room with your combined scent. 

 You were crying out his name, begging, pleading for him to let you cum;

 “Please Alpha…”

 “Omega, you want me to cum? Want me to fill you with my seed, let you grow full with my Pups?”

 “Alpha! Please, I want your Pups, want your knot…”

 With a final flurry of thrusts he sent you over the edge, your body squeezing him so tight it triggered his own orgasm as he filled your fertile body with his potent seed.

 As his orgasm ebbed away, he bent over and wrapped his arms around your torso, pressing kisses to your back as you trembled beneath him. When you finally spoke your voice was hoarse;

 “That… that was amazing…”

 “That’s nothing Omega…” Bucky muttered, shifting slightly and your eyes went wide when you felt he was still hard inside you.

 “Alpha? How…? You haven’t knotted yet?”

 He chuckled lightly;

 “An Alpha can only grow a knot once he is spent… I got a good two or three more goes before that happens… and trust me; you’ll know it when I do my sweet Omega”

 “Oh…” he moved within you, setting off aftershocks of your orgasm; “OH!”

 Bucky moved you, somehow twisting and sliding you onto your side before pulling one of your legs up flush with his chest, all with his hard length still snug inside you. Pressing kisses down your calf he started to rock his hips back and forth, the added lubrication of his own cum adding to the sensations.

 It was starting to get dark now, and without any light in the room the only illumination was the rising full moon, casting its pale glow over the pair of you as you rutted together like wild animals. As Bucky threw his head back the moonlight caught every muscle, his skin gleaming with beads of sweat that looked like a thousand jewels.

 Looking down you watched as this meaty girth split you open and you welcomed him into your fertile womb. With one strong arm gripping your leg, the other hand found your centre, rubbing this thumb against your clit as he teased another orgasm out of you, fucking you through it and chasing his own release. With each new thrust his attention was drawn to your chest and you found yourself being bent in two as he pushed your leg ever higher until he shifted it to the side and was able to take your breasts in his hands as he continued to fuck you;

 “These titties, they’ll look so beautiful when full of milk for our pups…” he reached forward and took one peaked nipple between his teeth, sending shockwaves through your body. The pleasure was building in the pit of your stomach again, and as you shut your eyes and let the sensations take over, your imagination gave you a glimpse of the future, of a future with Bucky.

 The summer breeze blew warm air against your bare legs, the lace trim of your light summer dress brushing against your skin. Smoothing your hands over your swollen belly, your pup kicked inside you and you smiled. Looking out over the garden you saw your husband, your Alpha, your Bucky playing with your two-year-old twins, smiling as you heard their squeals of laughter as he chased them around the soft grass…

 As you came back to reality you felt the sudden rush of pleasure that told you your orgasm was imminent, you were completely surrounded by Bucky and you felt yourself surrendering to the pleasure he was giving you as you came again, this time with a low groan he filled you with another heavy load of his fertile seed.

 You held each other for the longest time, Bucky resting his face against your neck and you doing the same to him, rubbing your nose over his scent gland and picking up on the slight change in his scent. Before it was as simple as dew on soft pine, but now there was a warmer tone, cinnamon and coffee. Running your hands through his hair you spoke softly;

 “Bucky?”

 “Mmmm”

 “Bucky, your scent…”

 He pushed himself up on his strong arms, looking down at you and that’s when you realised what was happening;

 “Omega…” his pupils were blown wide, pools of dark arousal as he took in your naked form beneath him; “You’ve triggered my Rut…”

 Your bodies were still joined, and as he ducked his head down to kiss you, you could feel him still hard within your aching body, a body that was desperate for more, for his knot. Clouds moved across the night sky and momentarily blocked out the moonlight, and that’s when you saw it; movement outside the windows. With a gasp you pulled away from Bucky, your eyes wide as you searched the shadows, trembling as you saw eyes, glinting in what little light there was. 

 Bucky pressed his lips to your bonding mark, surrounding you, protecting you;

 “It’s the pack… they’re here to watch”

 “They what?”

“It’s part of the ritual, the pack needs to see me knot you… only then will they allow you to be mine, and for me to be yours…”

 His lips were driving you crazy, and as much as you wanted to fight it, you were also excited by the prospect of being watched as you were claimed;

 “Let’s do it Bucky… make me yours…”

 Above you Bucky was shaking with need, his rut starting to take hold and he looked almost feral with need. Pulling out he quickly moved you into position on your knees, and you found yourself parting your legs and arching your back to present for him. Looking down at your soaked core, your slick pouring down your thighs whilst mixed with his cum, he let out a growl and thrust forward, filling you completely. 

 He held himself deep within your welcoming body for the longest moment, before with a surprisingly gentle grip took hold of your shoulders and pulled you upright, your back flush to his chest as his lips brushed against your ear;

 “Show them, show them that I am yours and you are mine”

 Bucky held you, his arms encircling your torso as he held your breasts in his large hands, all whilst thrusting up into you with powerful grind of his hips. This time felt different; you felt fuller, and that’s when you realised what it was; his knot was starting to grow, to inflate. Even though you were practically melting, from your heat and from the energy being expended by your lovemaking, you shivered. The realisation that it was happening; you were about to be knotted, claimed. Bucky picked up on your nerves, the slighted change in your scent;

 “Omega, you’re doing so well, I could never have wished for a better mate…”

 As he spoke his teeth brushed over your bonding mark and you felt yourself rocking down harder with each of his thrusts until you felt it, his knot just slightly caught then slipped out again, causing you to whine like an animal denied its favourite treat;

 “Nearly there Omega, near-ly th-ere…”

 Each syllable was punctuated by a thrust, your body trembling, on the precipice again with your orgasm, until you heard his words;

 “It’s time Omega…”

 “Claim me Bucky, make me yours”

 With one final thrust you felt his knot notch inside and this time stick just as your orgasm crashed through your body. The added tightness of your body gripped his made Bucky let out a howl, roaring up at the sky as he bared his teeth, and with a rumble in his chest he brought his teeth down to your neck and claimed you.

 You felt the skin break, his teeth digging into your bonding mark and the warm trickle of your blood down your neck and chest. The moment seemed to be frozen in time, noise filling your ears before you opened your eyes and saw the pack outside; all wolves, all howling simultaneously as they celebrated the pack leader having claimed his Omega. 

 Pulling his teeth away from your skin Bucky gently licked over the wound, helping it to heal, all whilst your bodies were still joined. You felt weak, exhaustion taking over, and with careful movement so not to jar his knot within you, Bucky moved your pliable body until you were lying on your side, Bucky’s strong arms wrapped around you. The forest fell quiet and you heard the gentle sound of paws retreating into the distance, and the last thought that went through your mind as the pack retreated was that you were complete.

 -

 For three days and nights you spent it in Bucky’s arms. After that first night the drapes were pulled across all the windows, Bucky laughed that the pack had their show, now it was time for a private performance. And oh boy did he perform; your body was tired and aching but in the most beautiful way, you had a glow to you that both of you already knew was the first sign that Bucky’s seed had taken, and already you in your mind could feel the pups within you start to grow. Bucky gently laughed when you’d told him;

 “Surely it’s too early Omega?”

 “I just know Bucky…”

 You’d been in the huge tub at the time, your bodies joined yet again, warm water lapping at his knot as you let the scented water wash over your bodies for some interesting lovemaking, straddling him as he lay back against the side, you took his hands and rested them on your stomach;

 “Do you feel it? Can you sense it?”

 Bucky paused for a moment before his eyes went wide;

 “There’s something… I can feel this heat, this power coming from you…” he laughed happily and pulled you to him, wrapping his arms around your body and burying his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as he sobbed tears of joy.

 -

 Walking up the path to your father’s house you gripped Bucky’s hand tight, nervous about what you were going to say. As you approached the porch the door opened and you saw him, standing at the doorway as he watched you. For a moment his face was neutral as he took in the two of you, and then he sensed it and you could see his eyes starting to water. Rushing to you Tony wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tight before finally stepping back;

 “Will you look at that, my baby is gonna have her own baby…”

 “Dad! How do you know?!”

 “Honey, a father knows. Plus, I can pick it up on your scent” Finally he turned to Bucky and extended his hand; “It’s good to finally meet you…”

 “Thank you, Sir. Its James, but everyone calls me Bucky”

 “Please Bucky, call me Tony”

 “Well Tony, I guess I’d better ask for your permission to marry your daughter?”

 Laughing Tony let go of your shoulders;

 “I thought that was a given… seeing a you’ve already knocked her up?”

 The two men laughed and you rolled your eyes, letting your father lead you into the kitchen. Over pancakes and bacon, you worked out your future, your dark wolf beside you the whole way.

[lovely-v]

LOTR (films) Review

So I finally watched the LOTR films (20 years later). I’m super excited to review these because I read the books very recently so I feel at least a little prepared to voice some opinions. Overall I loved the films, here’s a very long (but by no means exhaustive) compilation of my thoughts, which are of course, totally subjective:

(Warning: a lot of me saying “well, actually, in the book...”)

THINGS I LIKED

- Casting! not much to say here, I thought the casting was great. One of my favorite actors that I didn’t think i’d have a huge opinion on was David Wenham as Faramir. I was kinda ambivalent on him when I saw pictures but i thought he did a great job. he showed his quality.

- Music. so much has been said about the films on the music front. I can’t offer too much original insight but when a bit of the Shire theme started to play as Frodo tries to make his way up Mount Doom I cried a little.

- Boromir and Aragorn. I liked the scene where they interact a little in Rivendell. I also like how Aragorn saves Boromir in the Moria battle and gives him this little nod of friendship. I think the films did a great job portraying the dynamic they have where Aragorn is clearly suspicious of Boromir’s motivations but grows to respect him to the point where he doesn’t even blame Boromir for being corrupted by the ring because he understands that, at heart, Boromir is a good person. 

- Sam and Frodo in Osgiliath. I expected to be kind of annoyed with the way this plot point played out (I knew ahead of time that it strayed from the book), but I actually liked it a lot. As I’ll say later, there’s some gripes I have with the way the films extremely play up the disagreements between Frodo and Sam, but I loved the scene where Frodo pulls the sword on Sam and then seems so defeated when he realizes what he’s done. I was pleasantly surprised by how emotional this scene made me. It’s admittedly A Lot, but it was done nicely, especially in conjunction with Sam’s “there’s good in this world” speech.

- Treatment of the ending. I almost think I should dislike the ending as it is in the movies, but my heart is soft and I like that they sugarcoated it a bit. I know the whole point of the Scouring of the Shire and Frodo’s depression conveys a lot about war and trauma and I think that is important, but after watching these things for twelve hours I just wanted Frodo & co. to be happy and I was kinda relieved that they cut the Scouring. Does that make me weak and perhaps bad at film analysis? yes. do I care? no. I was also very glad that the movies didn’t portray how depressed Sam was about losing Frodo in the end. Yes, he cries, but when he walks home to his family he seems happy and in the books that scene came off so much bleaker. I definitely liked the lighter tone.

THINGS I WAS NEUTRAL ON/DIDN’T LIKE

- Arwen. (Neutral) I don’t hate her, I don’t love her. I think the story she and Aragorn have is compelling and I 100% get why the filmmakers decided to add it to give her character more depth, but it felt misplaced at times. maybe it’s just because it was the only storyline I didn’t know in depth, but the scenes with the Arwen/Aragorn flashbacks felt a bit confusing and disorienting. Don’t have anything against Arwen as a character though, I think she’s pretty alright.

- Gimli. (Complicated thoughts) I want to start off by saying I don’t dislike Gimli. I like him a lot! I just think the movies did him a bit dirty. He had some good movie-exclusive moments, but I think his character really fell into this place of being the butt of too many jokes. Would have liked to see some more serious Gimli development, especially with his relationship to Legolas. Their friendship felt too much like subtext here, whereas it’s explored far more in the books.

- Two Towers Pacing. (Didn’t really like). The pacing of TTT was...weird. maybe I’m going into this with a closed mind because of the books, but it was odd to have the movie begin with Frodo and Sam and then have them only appear for a few rapid scenes after that. I think the fact that a WHOLE LOT of what happens to Frodo and Sam in TTT is moved to RotK is what makes it feel that way? In the books, Two Towers ends with Sam discovering that Frodo isn’t dead from Shelob’s sting, and I was surprised by how long it took the movies to get to that part. However, I will give the films a little leeway because I think they needed Frodo & Sam content for RotK, since most of what happens in that book is them walking through Mordor basically starving and dying. Doesn’t make for great cinema I guess, so they had to put the whole Shelob/Cirith Ungol saga into the final film. Still, I think there’s a weird lack of Frodo and Sam’s presence in TTT.

- The go home/missing bread arc. (Full of rage abt this one) yeah. so. my criticism of this is gonna sound pretty tired because people complain and complain about this part of RotK. but I’m gonna complain some more!! I don’t think the split between Frodo and Sam does anything for the plot. I really don’t. I guess it emphasizes the fact that Sam doesn’t understand how much Frodo is projecting onto Gollum, but it’s just. unnecessary angst? They had enough angst in the Osgiliath scene! Which I actually liked! And it simply doesn’t make a lot of sense for Frodo to suspect Sam of eating the bread when Sam had already offered Frodo his own food and made it clear that he would very much starve if it meant making sure Frodo could eat. But what I hate most about this scene is not that Frodo gets mad and tells Sam to go home. No. It’s that Sam actually... thinks about doing that? he actually? goes down the staircase? emotionally this is bad because Sam clearly cared enough about Frodo to follow him this far, to nearly drown for him, so why would he leave now. Practically this is bad because 1. how would Sam get out of Mordor alone and 2. where would he go. He turns around almost immediately, yes, but what was his plan. where was he going. why.

THINGS I LOVED

- For Frodo! This line, and every other shoutout to Frodo. In the books, they didn’t really actively talk about/worry about Frodo (and Sam) as much as they do in the movies. I like that they talk about Frodo more in the movies! I like that they’re thinking about him! I know it was implied that they were in the books, but I really like how it’s shown here. I think it gave a more complete picture of how much they all care about him on a personal level in addition to just needing him to succeed from a pragmatic standpoint. 

- Merry and Pippin! I feel like Merry and Pippin were so well rounded in the films. I’ve heard criticism about them being turned into comic relief characters (which they always were a little bit) but it honestly didn’t feel that way to me. They had a bit of a rough start because the films didn’t make their motives for going with Frodo as deep as the books did, but I think that by TTT they were absolutely amazing characters in every scene. In RotK their respective arcs hit really well and the scene where Pippin is singing to Denethor? *chef’s kiss* poetic. beautiful. sad. idk man I just feel like I have such a newfound appreciation for Merry and Pippin.

- Parallels! people have pointed out the parallel of Frodo and Sam’s hands before (drowning scene/mount doom scene) and I love how the movie did that. Just stunning. Also! The moving of the Smeagol & Deagol scene to RotK surprised me because in the books it was like,,,at the beginning of Fellowship, but I think the placement of it in the movies really helped emphasize the similarities between Smeagol & Deagol and Frodo & Sam (and how much Frodo fears this similarity.) There were a lot of other well done parallels between storylines and a few bits of dialogue that were repeated with great timing, but I can’t remember all of them at the moment.  

Edit: here’s one I remembered! when Frodo wakes up after being rescued and sees Gandalf, he says Gandalf’s name in a very similar tone to the one he used at the very beginning of Fellowship. It was a nice little subtle connection.

- I can’t carry it for you...alright this is self-indulgent. everyone knows I love this line. I’m just so glad it made it into the movie intact. Sean Astin’s delivery was amazing. I cheered. My mom cheered. It’s a raw line and it makes me feel secret emotions...like if shrimp colors were feelings. that line makes me feel shrimp feelings. idk i’m so tired i just watched twelve hours of movies this review is decreasing in quality by the minute but i’m about done for now anyway

Various silly afterthoughts

- I would have liked to see Sam kiss Frodo’s hands at least once. This happens 50 thousand times in the books, they could have given me one scene. one little extended edition scene. Please Peter Jackson I’m dyin’ out here

- They literally made Gollum so hateable. kinda the point yes, but I was so on board with Sam’s murderous rage. I know why Gollum’s a profoundly complex character, I know why Frodo pities him, I know why murder is bad, but I too would throw hands with that creature. also he literally body shamed Sam so much what was that skdjksdjksd. Sam is lovely. let him commit a small homicide. 

- the scene where merry and pippin drink the tall boy juice (as someone once referred to it in the tags of one of my posts)... not accurate to the books (since they don’t ever drink it with the end goal of getting tall) but so accurate to life. if I found some water that made me taller than my friends? let me at it

- Frodo panicking when he falls into the spider webs. so real bestie. i felt just as panicked watching that. i am terrified of spiders and Elijah Wood did an amazing job doing exactly what i’d do in the situation. yelping a lot and falling down.

- I feel like it’s never stated that Sam’s a gardener (or at least that he’s specifically Frodo’s gardener) until he tells Faramir he is. Did I miss this. Or do they really never say.  are you just meant to know. are you just meant to pick up gardener vibes from him.

*

This has been a very chaotic lotr movie review. Thanks for reading.

[mrsseverussnape]

Love Is You - chapter 2

a/n: I made some new additions to the chapter while reading it. Wattpad, AO3 and Tumblr versions will be all different than each other😅 Whenever i read it before posting it on somewhere, i cannot stop myself and add new stuffs…

Ps: Severus is making an appearance in this chapter and we will see him more and more with each chapter😏

Also i am linking Sirius x Scar relationship post here, you can learn about their backstory😌

     Scarlett has spent the night at her own house, of course she didn’t want to go back to their family house and even how much she needed a company tonight, she couldn’t go to her parents either since she didn’t know how to tell them what happened tonight.. Scarlett couldn't sleep even for a second; the moment she closed her eyes the bedroom scene appeared in her mind non-stop. So she decided to go to work early, there was no point in trying to sleep. She fixed herself as much as possible and headed to the Ministry of Magic. She went to the Minister of Magic's room directly, as the deputy minister she had to acquaint him about the conferences in Paris.

"Good morning sir."

"Good morning Scarlett. I wasn't expecting you that early. Have a seat please."

 The Minister Dorian Blackwood poured some tea for themselves and opened a biscuit jar while she was sitting. They talked about Paris conferences for almost half an hour. The Minister has noticed that something was off with Scarlett since he knew her since she was little. But he decided to stay silent, if she wanted to talk she would.

"Before i leave, i need to tell you one more thing Dorian." 

"Sure, i am listening."

Scarlett was scratching her hands and biting down on her lip. She was having second thoughts but she believed she had to do that. "I…I want to resign..."

Dorian raised his eyebrows in surprise, that was something he wasn’t expecting at all. "May i ask why? Because i see you as the next minister and i know you want that too, Scarlett. That was our plan."

"I do, i still do want that but i just can't work here anymore." She took a deep breathe, she continued to talk but her voice was shaking. "I don't know how to explain this at all but yesterday i found out something including a third party and i and Sirius are no longer in good terms. I don't want to come across with someone here and that someone is not Sirius..." Couple of tears escaped and ran down on her cheeks.

"Oh my dear girl...” Dorian walked up to her and rubbed her back to ease her pain a bit. Scarlett was like a daughter to him and he cared about her dearly. “I guess i understand the situation... but i don't want you to resign. Maybe we can do something else."

"What is that?" Scarlett looked at him questioningly.

"I am guessing that someone is not as important as you here so...I can do it right now."

She shook her head. "No not fire her, that won't be fair. It is my personal problem, Dorian."

"Okay whatever you want but just let me know if you change your mind, i can do anything for my lovely deputy minister. But i really want you to stay Scarlett, i don’t think you thought about that decision very clearly."

"I thank you for your kindness and for everything Dory but i don't think i will be in a good state of mind for a while. I don't even want to stay in London. Please accept my resign." Scarlett was almost begging at this point. The minister thought for a while then nodded slowly. 

"I can't force you Scarlett, it is your decision in the end. But i am really upset about it, i will miss my partner in crime” Dorian gave her a sad smile. “Give me a week to arrange some stuff then you can fully resign. And you don’t have to come here this week, i will take care of it myself and promise me you will take care of yourself."

She nodded. "Thank you for your understanding, i am not happy about it either but that will be the best for everyone i guess... I cannot promise but i will try..."

Then she left the room before crying her eyes out, this was way harder than she thought. Then she went to the law department to arrange the divorce papers, this was even harder than the resign talk for her. It was hell of a day and she just wanted it to finish already. After the work, she went to their house to get some of her stuff since she didn’t have  much in her house because it hasn’t been used for over 20 years. Unfortunately for Scarlett, Sirius has left the work early and he was at home. When he heard the door, he rushed to the doorway it had to be Scarlett.

"I knew you will be back Scarlett!" Sirius cheered with happiness, though he was looking rough. Apparently he didn’t have good night either.

"I didn't come here to stay, i will take some clothes then leave. I will be moving out as soon as possible." Scarlett said sternly without looking at him.

Before he could say anything else, she started to go upstairs where their bedroom was. Sirius followed her immediately like a puppy. She didn't want to enter the room after what she has seen yesterday but she had to, so she took a deep breath and started to pack a bag, avoiding looking at their bed.

"Scar, baby, we can talk and solve this, please." 

She let out a laugh angrily. "We can solve it huh? You cheated on me right here, in OUR bed and now you are waiting for me to forget everything!? You have no idea how hard it is for me to be in this room right now. We are done, understand!? You will get the divorce papers in couple of days."

She took her suitcase and got out of the room as fast as possible. "I will take the rest of my stuff later."

"Scarlett..." he called out her name and held her hand before she could walk out the outside door.

She stood there for a second then turned to look at him for the first time today. The tears were collected in his moon coloured eyes, ah how much she loved his eyes. She has never seen him looking so sad, he was always the cheerful one with a grin on his lips. Seeing him like this gave her pain, she was very angry with him but the love she had for him wouldn’t disappear in a day. Then without a second thought she pressed her lips against his softly. It was a quick kiss, but it was full of mixed emotions. Then she pulled away and mumbled a "Goodbye." before she apparated and left Sirius there crying silently.

     2 days have passed since Scarlett moved out and still she haven't talked to her kids or her parents about what's going on between her and Sirius. The twins were 21 years old so they could understand the situation, but she still didn't know how to tell them about it at all like their marriage was going great and in one night everything went upside down. Leonidas was working in New York and she didn't want to tell him through a letter, this would leave him with so many questions. He would probably come to London for Christmas, so Scarlett decided to wait till then. But Carina was working at Hogwarts and Scarlett got ready to go there, she didn’t want to lie to Carina through letters acting all was well. 2 hours later Scarlett was wandering around the castle, she hasn’t been there since she graduated. She didn't know where Carina's room was exactly, so she decided to go to the potions classroom since Carina was Professor Snape's assistant. She wasn’t ready to enter that class at all and that was why she avoided coming to Hogwarts for years but right now this was such a small problem beside the other things. Scarlett knocked on the class's door and heard the deep voice she knew very well saying "Come in." Severus Snape was ready to scold the person who interrupted their study but when he saw who it was, he stood there in shock, he couldn’t say a single word.

"Mum!?" Carina asked in surprise, she wasn’t expecting her at all.

"May i talk to my daughter privately, it is important." Scarlett requested but she  was not looking at him directly.

Severus didn’t talk for couple of seconds then nodded lightly. "Yes. i will finish rest of the potion by myself Carina, you can leave."

Carina nodded and rushed to her mum. "Is everything okay mum?" She asked while they were leaving the class. Carina noticed she wasn’t looking any good, she wasn’t even wearing her signature red lipstick that she always do and that was concerning.

Carina escorted her to her chambers but she has started to panic, her mum’s silence wasn’t helping the situation at all. 

"Mum could you please tell me what happened? Are my grandparents okay?"

"They are fine." Scarlett sat on the bed and motioned Carina to sit next to her. Scarlett's eyes have already filled with tears.

"Mummy? Are you alright?" Carina held her hand softy.

Scarlett shook her head as no, she was squeezing Carina’s hand to gain some power. "Carina, i and your dad... are having a divorce..." end of the sentence she was crying her eyes out.

"W-WHAT!? What happened mum!? I saw you two like 10 days ago and you were totally fine. What's that now?" She was in pure shock and couldn’t know how to act.

"We were... we were good at least that's what i thought... But apparently, we weren't because when i turned back from Paris, i found him..." she started to sob uncontrollably at this point, saying it out loud made it worse for her. "cheating..."

"Did you say cheating!? Daddy was cheating!?" This sentence was something that Carina has never imagined hearing in her life.

Scarlett just nodded; she was unable to talk.

Carina hugged her mum tightly "Shhh mummy, everything will be fine, we will get through it..." 

She was trying to calm her mum down, but she was devastated herself too. Carina has always wanted a relationship like her parents had. They were the most in love couple she has ever seen in her life. But she just heard that her dad has cheated on her mum after all those years even they weren’t having any problems. Carina had no idea what to expect for the near future right now but she knew that she will be her mum’s side no matter what.

Taglist:

@snapefiction @lizlil @elizabeth-baelish @misselsbells06 @mais-e @lunnybunny12 @anfre109 @entirelymesmerising @wolvesofwinter13

@mrssnivellussnape i am tagging you too since you seemed interested but i can remove you if you’d like 😊

If you wanna be on my taglist, let me know!

[borealis-strange]

Chapter 2: The Lake

Summary:

Regina finally decides to travel on her own (accompanied by Freddie)

Notes:

Sorry, this took so long to post. Hopefully the next chapter will be out soon.

A detail I forgot to mention is that this story is heavily based on Minecraft, so there might be a lot of references to that game. And a funny fact is that the idea came to me while I was watching a Minecraft series I really like (It's not the DreamSMP, it's Elitecraft) and there will be more references to that.

Tag-list:  Tagging some people that might be interested in this: @freesiafields @bambirexwrites @whitequeen-ofwillowgreen @vaeya @sirenlovesqueen @moreofthatqueen

If someone wants to be added or removed from the tag-list just tell me :}

During the following days Regina did not do too many things, Franco insisted that he felt bad and could not go out in those conditions. Regina didn't complain too much; she continued to practice on her own and occasionally helped Sarinha in the tavern.

Finally the day she had been waiting for so much arrived, the day where she would go out on her own (accompanied by Freddie).

She got ready as usual and ate something before leaving.

—Bye, guys — Regina said as she headed for the exit.

— Hey, hey, hey — Franco interrupted — Where do you think you're going? -

— I'm going to The Wedding Veil with some friends —  Regina replied with a smile

— With whose permission? — Franco questioned.

—  With my permission —  Regina said with a smile and left before Franco could say anything else.

Franco sighed heavily.

—  What am I going to do with this girl? — Franco asked

—  You should be glad. She has finally made friends —  Sarinha commented who came out of the kitchen.

—  So what? —  Franco said annoyed —  she will get into trouble if she goes out like this, without me taking care of her—

Sarinha gave him a sympathetic smile and sat down across from him.

— You must understand that the girl is growing up —  Sarinha said - she must also go out and fight to learn. Someday she will be like you -

Franco sighed heavily.

— I hope she is never like me — 

________________

Freddie said we would meet at the Step of the king  turnoff, it was a middle ground for both of us.

In the distance I saw Freddie along with a girl. I ran a bit to catch up with them. It didn't seem like they had been waiting long

— Hello girls! — I greeted them with great emotion when I got to their side — Are you ready? —

— Hi regina! — Freddie greeted. She looked me up and down somewhat confused — You came… in armor? — Freddie asked

— Yes of course! — I said with pride — We come to have a great adventure. —

— Actually ... We had planned to just eat by the lake and maybe explore the surroundings a bit — Freddie said a bit embarrassed.

Until that moment I had not noticed the basket that Freddie was carrying, probably full of food. I hadn't brought anything. Has Freddie told me something about this? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember.

— Oh. Okay, later we can… do something like that — I said nervously.

— Okay ... This is Jane. She will accompany us —

— Nice to meet you — I greeted her shyly.

— Well, we better go. We don't want to be late —

The journey was silent, a bigger one than I would have liked.

After almost an hour of walking we finally arrived.

It was the first time I had come to The Wedding Veil, and I had to say that they were as beautiful as everyone said. The falls did not measure more than 20 meters but that did not take away from the impressiveness.

The place was surrounded by huge trees that slightly blocked the passage of light. There were flowers of all colors and little luminescent mushrooms; plus a few tables where there were already a few people having their own picnics.

Freddie led us through the woods until we found a quiet place near the lake. I understood that this was the largest lake, at least in Farfania.

This part of the waterfalls was quieter, being a little further away, the noise of the water was not going to bother us so much, in addition to that it was no longer so full of trees, letting the light pass a little more.

When we found the perfect spot, the girls started putting together the little picnic. I wanted to help with something, but Freddie insisted that I was like her guest and it wasn’t necessary that I did something.

Once they finished, we all sat down and Freddie began to distribute the plates to start eating.

All kinds of foods came in Freddie's basket: an egg tart, meat patties, and a few milk candies. A real feast.

— Did you cook this by yourself? — I asked while taking one of the milk candies.

— No, no, no. Jane helped me a lot. We cooked it together last night — Freddie said as he hugged Jane — I hope you like it —

— The truth is, I even feel bad eating your food — I confessed — You did all this and I didn't bring anything —

— Don't worry darling — Freddie said making a gesture with his hand — It's something I enjoy —

I took a bite of the candy, it was glorious, one of the best I had ever had.

— Then, next time I invite you to have a drink at the tavern —

— I think it's excellent — Freddie said with a smile.

We ate in tranquility, enjoying the atmosphere. I had to say that the food was delicious, the best I had had since I arrived in Step of the King (forgive me Sarinha)

After eating, Freddie took out a board game that was in the basket.

It was the army game, a strategy game. I haven't played it in years, at least since I left The Shelter.

Even though I was a bit rusty I managed to win a few games against Freddie. Although Jane showed superiority to us, managing to win all the games that she played.

After a few games, Freddie and Jane talked about a million topics, I was not contributing anything and I was not even paying attention.

The girls were trying to get me to add something to the conversation,, they would ask me things and stuff but I just couldn't focus.

My mind was on the lake and the mysteries that it could have. Probably not many. The only thing I knew was that there was a small community of mermaids there, I doubted there was a treasure or something, like in The Shelter. My uncle told me how in his youth he revealed a thousand and one secrets, not only about The Shelter, but also about the Empire.

I don't know how long I lasted like this, pulling grass and flowers. Until I came up with something to make this all more fun.

— Hey — I caught the attention of the girls — A few races across the lake? —

Without even waiting for something to be said to me, I got up off the ground and started running towards the lake.

Freddie grabbed me by the collar of the armor, preventing me from continuing, and pulled me to stand next to her.

— You cannot just walk on the water — She said in a serious tone — It is a dangerous lake, besides that mermaids do not like to pass through their home—

— Of course I can walk on water — I said contemptuously, ignoring the second warning — A few days ago I got the Ice Walker spell for my boots — I said while pointing at them — I'm not in any danger — I said puffing up my chest with pride.

— Even so, I don't think it's a good idea — She said with concern — Another day we'll go somewhere where we can swim —

Freddie turned around and started walking over to where the picnic was.

I did not move. I continued to appreciate the lake, as it reflected the rays of the Sun. I took some stone and threw it against the lake, I saw how it took a few jumps before sinking.

The lake couldn't be that dangerous, deep perhaps but not dangerous. I turned and saw that Freddie had already gone back to where things were. I saw the lake again, it was tempting. A few steps wouldn't hurt anyone, right? They would only be to prove that the enchantment on the boots worked and nothing else.

Noticing that Freddie wasn't paying attention to me, I walked over to the lake. I took a step in the water and waited for my foot to get wet but that didn't happen.

A small platform of ice had formed where I had stepped. I took another step and the same thing happened.

It worked perfectly! A few more steps wouldn't be bad.

I continued taking steps without paying attention to where I was going, just looking at my feet. It was fascinating, it was the best 20 gold coins invested in the armor.

— Regina! — Freddie shouted from the coast — Come back, something will happen to you!—

— Did you see? — I yelled turning around to see her — The boots work! —

— Very well! But please come back! You are going to hurt yourself! — Freddie kept shouting

— Of course not! — I exclaimed — I have to see if they work perfectly well! —

— Then we go to another lake but come back! —

She looked worried. I wanted to keep walking and see how far he could go with his boots but I didn't want to cause Freddie any more trouble.

With a sigh, I started to walk back but something had caught my foot. It was an algae. I shook my foot to shake it off but it seemed to hold on tighter.

— Regina? - It was the last I heard before the algae dragged me to the bottom of the lake

Oh gods, oh gods. I tried to swim to the surface but it was useless. The algae began to wrap around me, preventing me from moving.

I struggled in an attempt to free myself from the algae, but the more I moved the more they squeezed me.

My heart was beating faster and faster

My lungs ached and everything around me became blurry. The last thing I could make out was a figure approaching me.

Someone dragged me to the surface where I could finally breathe. I never believed that breathing felt so good.

The girl left me on the ground, and I watched her walk away and return to the lake.

I lay down on the ground again and in the distance I heard Freddie shouting my name.

— Regina? Regina are you okay? — Freddie said when he came to my side — Regina talk to me — Freddie whimpered as she shook my arm.

— I'm good. Just let me rest — I tried to pull my arm away from hwe.

— I told you not to go in — She did not sound angry, but rather ... worried — Then we do whatever you want but please don't do that again -

She started saying other things to me that I didn't pay attention to, I just stayed on the floor trying to breathe normally.

— I think it is better that you return to your house — Suggested Freddie — So that you can rest from all this -

— Yes, that's fine —

Freddie helped me up. He said something to Jane that I couldn't hear before accompanying me to Stone Pig.

__________________

Fortunately, we found someone who offered to take us in his wagon. I greatly appreciated it.

After about an hour of travel, I finally reached Step of the king where Freddie made sure that I would get to the tavern safely before flying back to her house.

Although the sun had not yet set, the tavern was already beginning to fill up.

I had the intention of going to my room to get some sleep but Franco intervened.

— Why are you soaked? — Franco asked.

— I fell into the lake — Franco looked at me confused — A strange plant dragged me to the bottom of the lake and I almost drowned but a girl saved me —

Franco rubbed his temples in frustration.

— That's why I don't want you to go out alone, things like that can happen to you. What if that girl wasn't there! You would have drowned —

— Pfft ... It's not that bad — I said trying to downplay it, but I had already ignited Franco's anger.

— It's not that bad? It's not that bad! — Franco yelled, calling the attention of other people— You are also a princess — Franco reminded me. I rolled my eyes — I can't let something happen to you. What am I going to tell King Silithur? That his beloved niece drowned because the little girl was not careful? —

For something I had left The Shelter. To stop being treated like a little girl who can't do anything on his own.

— You are a terrible teacher — I mumbled.

— What did you say? —

— I said you are a terrible teacher — I repeated with disdain.

Franco glared at me

— What kind of teacher won't let me train elsewhere? I've only been faced with holograms made of magic. What will happen when I go to the real world? —

— You shouldn't worry about that —

— Well, I should be worried. At some point it will be my job and I won't know what to do. Because instead of traveling I spent it sitting in a tavern doing nothing —

I didn't let Franco speak.

I immediately got up from my seat and went up to my room.

Who did he think he was? More and more my patience was being filled with his silly rules and worries. On one side I appreciated his concern, but on the other, it seemed that he believed I was just a little princess who left home on a whim. I know what I want and I don't need anyone to tell me what to do.

__________

The next morning, I decided to return to The Wedding Veil as a kind of "protest." Franco had to understand that I could take care of myself without needing his help. (Though I doubt he could do much)

I went downstairs, ready for the day.

— Can I have some of the buns? — I asked Sarinha as soon as I saw her.

— Yes of course —

I took one of the baskets and started filling it with the buns.

— Why do you need so many? —

— They are ... for someone —

Sarinha seemed unconvinced but she didn't say anything else.

— Where are you going? — Franco asked when I passed by his side.

I didn't answer and left the tavern. I always wondered how Franco got up earlier than me.

I headed straight for The Wedding Veil, hoping to meet up with the girl from the day before. I didn't even have time to thank her.

I got there faster than the day before and went to where I had eaten with the girls.

— Hello? — I yelled at the lake.

This is very silly, I should have thought better of this. I didn't even know her name, what was I going to say to her? "Hi, I'm the girl who almost drowned yesterday." How stupid.

I sat down heavily on the dirt and set the basket aside.

Surprisingly, the girl poked her face out of the water a few seconds later. I couldn't help but smile a little.

— Hello — I greeted her shyly.

The girl did not move or say anything, only she continued to observe me.

— I'm Regina. The girl from yesterday. —

The girl seemed to get a little closer.

— I came because ... I wanted to thank you for saving me yesterday — I said hesitating with my words. — And well ... I brought something to eat. I hope you like it —

I sat down on the wooden boards and opened the basket.

I watched as the girl approached until she reached the dock and sat next to me. Even though the girl had wet hair, they still defined her curly hair, mermaid magic I guess.

— What is your name? - I asked to break the silence.

— Brianna — The girl said in a low voice.

—It's a nice name — I said with a smile.

— Thanks —

Brianna took one the buns and looked at it doubtfully.

— They're made of chocolate — She said with a smile — I thought ... you might like —

Brianna took a small bite and for a moment I saw her eyes light up.

— They are delicious — Brianna said, her voice was sweet and calm — Did you make them? —

— No… no. They were made by Sarinha, the owner of The Stone Pig. You should go someday—

Brianna gave a little laugh.

—Maybe one day I will — she said with a smile. I couldn't help blushing a bit — I've heard of that place —

— Really? — The girl lived in the water, how did she find out?

Brianna nodded slightly.

— I've heard some travelers. I just know it's the closest hostel from here —

We spent a few minutes talking and eating, and apparently we had quite a lot in common. She also wanted to explore the Empire and study the stars, the only difference was that she did not travel out of fear. The Empire was huge and there could be people with bad intentions, but I guess it's a risk to take.

I thought about telling her to travel together but I didn't, it would be a strange thing when we had barely met.

I decided to spend the rest of the day in this place.

Brianna showed me some “secret” areas of the forest, mostly very rare plants.

She showed me some giant mushrooms where some nano dragons used as homes, although unfortunately we couldn't see any clearly.

We also saw some small flowers that were similar to dandelions, only the petals were purple. Brianna said she called them "Timids". They were beautiful but when I tried to touch them the petals contracted against the stem.

When the sun began to set, I decided it was time to go home, I didn't want to walk in the woods in the dark.

I arrived in town just when the first lights of the businesses began to turn on.

I entered the tavern and headed straight to the kitchen, to steal some food before I went to sleep.

As I passed Franco's table, I heard that he called me. I let out a long sigh but didn't go with him.

— Regina — Franco tried to get my attention once more.

The truth is, I didn't want Franco to ruin my good mood besides that I was tired and needed to eat something. He called me again. A little resigned, I sat down in front of him.

—I've been thinking about what you told me yesterday— Franco said calmly, I would even say that he felt sorry — And I think you're right —

I never thought I would listen to Franco admit that he was wrong.

— I did not train you as I should have done and I think you are ready to go out into the real world —

-— Seriously? — I asked puzzled.

— Yes... But I'll go with you. You are still under my care, plus I miss those old days when I was going all over the empire with my friends. —

I opened my mouth to say something but the words did not come from me. Franco couldn't be serious, it must have been some kind of joke. But the seriousness on his face told me it was true.

— You're not serious — I said amused.

— I tell you with all the seriousness in the world — Franco said with a small smile.

I had to restrain myself from screaming right there. Oh gods, oh gods. I'd finally get out of Step of the king! Finally I would know other places or explore ancient temples. Although you shouldn't have high hopes. Most likely we were only going on a day trip. But you start with something, then I could convince him to go elsewhere.

— What do you think if tomorrow we travel to Tree city? — Franco suggested.

Tree city? It was in Illusia, at least a couple of days' walk away. And if we traveled by train, it was only 6 hours but the only train that could leave us in Tree city was in Paladium.

— Isn't it a bit far to go in a day? —

— Who said we will travel in one day? We will do it the old-fashioned way. With a trip of several days by road. I thought we could make several stops in different places — Franco said with a sly smile — Even visit Paladium city —

Oh gods, oh gods. This was better than I had thought. This would be fantastic!

Tree city! That would take us days to arrive. We will travel throughout Farfania to reach Illusia. This would be great! And maybe later we could go to The Shelter. Oh gods. I couldn't wait for tomorrow!

[snowdice]

Finding the Time to Study Fic 2 [Day 18]

Here is my starting post for today’s study break stories session. See this post for more details and feel free to send me asks to keep me going! It’s been a lot of fun so far! I will reblog this post with the story as I write them today. I’ll be constantly looking for ideas of times and places for Janus to have missions, so feel free to send in any you can think of at any point!

If you are a new follower or just don’t want all of these posts clogging your dash, please feel free to block the tag “study break stories” as all posts and voting about it will go there. You can still see the finished product of the story even if you are blocking that tag as I will not tag the edited chapters with “study break stories” but with the tag “folds in paper.” See edited chapters below. Chapters 3-8 and what I have of Chapter 9 are under the cut.

My Masterpost Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

I also have a playlist on youtube (because Spotify didn’t have one of the songs I wanted). It’s short, and not really for serious listening, but I had fun with it.

I have homework due tomorrow, so let’s go.

Arc I: Finding Cinderella

Chapter 4

Janus was frozen in surprise for a few long moments after Pat disappeared. Which had been, admittedly, his mistake, because, while their window had technically been until 11:17pm and it was only 11:10, the loud crack that whatever Pat had been using for time travel made, garnered the attention of someone else.

“Uh oh,” Remus said, likely hearing footsteps. “Hide.”

That snapped Janus into action, but instead of hiding immediately like a sensible human being, he chose to go for the only link to the man who’d just stolen time travel tech and waltzed away, the mask.

Which was why he ended up getting arrested.

 Remy tsked the moment they were all alone in the police car having come to ‘transfer Lee to another facility.’ Remus was already waiting in the front seat, and flashed Janus a smug smile. If Janus wasn’t still handcuffed, he’d slap him.

“Well,” Remy said. “At least you didn’t shoot anybody like I asked. I was joking by the way. I didn’t really want to pick you up from a 1920s police station period.”

“It wasn’t my fault.”

“Mmm, nah, ‘cause Remus managed to not get arrested this time, so you defiantly screwed something up.”

“Oh, he defiantly wanted to screw something all right,” Remus said joyfully.

 “Remus,” Janus hissed.

“What?” he asked. “I’m not the horny one for once. Well, no, that’s a lie, but it didn’t affect the job this time.”

Janus groaned and leaned his head back against the seat.

Remy pulled into a seemingly random garage around 20 minutes later. “Alright,” he said. “Here we are.” He got out of the car and then helped Janus out before uncuffing him. “Here’s your ‘watch,’” Remy handed him the timepiece that had been confiscated when he’d been arrested.

Janus put it on and activated it. “Shit,” he said.

“What?” Remus asked.

“An appointment with cultural outreach has already been downloaded to my calendar for once we get out of decon.”

 “Oof. Going to baby jail,” Remy laughed. Remus was cackling.

“This,” Janus said, “was not a cultural faux pas. I did nothing that indicated that I was not from this time. I am not some rookie.”

“Don’t forget cell phones don’t exist in the 1920s,” Remus sang.

“The real question is whether or not my foot exists in your…” Remus disappeared before he could finish, a smirk on his face. Janus growled. “By Remy,” he gritted out. He selected the decontamination chamber from his queue, ignoring the appointment that came after it for now.

He knew exactly where Remus would be standing when he landed, which was why he stepped forward on reentry to ram into him.

 He yelped in surprise. “Sorry,” Janus said pleasantly. “I must have also forgotten landing procedures.

Remus laughed good naturally. “Aw, come on Jay,” he said, bumping Janus back, albeit much gentler than Janus had been. “It’s not a big deal. You just go talk with some crusty old college professor who is far too interested in spoons and then everything’s fine.”

“It’s the principle of the thing,” he growled. “They’re treating me like I’m an idiot who accidently invented disco in the 1920s when I was conned by some free agent time traveler.”

“‘Conned,’ Remus said. Is that what they’re calling it now?”

 “I know where and when you live Remus,” Janus said.

Remus gave him a dopey smile as the decontamination cycle finished and the door unlocked. Janus’s wrist buzzed telling him that the coordinates to the cultural outreach office were now unlocked. Instead of pulling them up, Janus walked to the door.

“Um,” Remus said, following him. “Aren’t you supposed to be going to your appointment?” Janus just kept walking towards their office. “Uh… Jan?”

“It’s absolutely ridiculous that I have to go to cultural outreach,” Janus said. “In fact, no one can make me. If they want me to go have a discussion about the definition of ‘bushwa,’ they’re going to have to have me dragged there.”

 “Mmm, I feel like The Boss won’t be too happy about that, and I have a feeling she’d be 100% down to dragging you there herself.”

“Well, then, let her,” Janus said, stalking through the door to his office. “I’m not going to…”

“Ah, Agent Picani,” the woman standing next to his desk, clearly waiting for him, said when he came through the door. “Dr. Picani was informed that there were complications with your last mission and wishes to have a conversation with you and asks that you meet him in his office at the AMO.”

“Oh, um,” Janus said, stumbling a bit before plastering on a regretful half smile. “Unfortunately, I actually have an appointment right now at Cultural Outreach. It’s mandatory and very important, and I have to go now. So, I’ll have to take a raincheck on that.”

 “But-” she started, frowning.

“Remus, work on the report!” Janus said quickly as he waved his hand to bring up his timepiece display and jammed his finger at the glowing appointment card in his queue. A few moments later, Janus was at Cultural Outreach.

Cultural Outreach was not part of the TPI, though it often worked very closely with them. It was a collaboration between the government and multiple universities to help government workers, politicians, and other citizens understand and bridge cultural gaps. It had existed before time travel was invented but had expanded to also teach people who needed to time travel how to behave in unfamiliar times and cultures.

 After it had to be expanded to provide for the TPI, it had been moved to Silver Mountains University. The building had once just been a museum, but it had been thoroughly renovated and there had been add-ons for office space and some classrooms. It was still a museum, however, its purpose had expanded greatly and there were many areas that were off limits to the general public.

One of these areas was the fourth floor, where Janus’s timepiece had dumped him. This was the floor that was almost exclusively for TPI agents and staff of Cultural Outreach who worked with them.

 He immediately turned away from the reception area, hoping that he could escape and go sit on the university’s quad or something of the like for the next hour or so in hopes the woman his brother sent to fetch him would give up and go back to the AMO. Yet, the receptionist apparently saw him.

“Janus Picani?” he asked.

Janus grimaced and turned back towards him. “Yes,” he said.

“Is something wrong?” he asked. “You’re 5 minutes late for your appointment and seem disoriented.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Is your timepiece malfunctioning?”

“No.”

“Uh… okay. Well, if you sign in here, I can take you to your appointment.”

“…Fine.”

 He begrudgingly stepped forward and touched the screen he’d gestured to sign with his fingerprint, and then let the man lead him down the hall.

The door they stopped at was propped open slightly, but he still paused and knocked. “Professor Eran? Your 2:30 is here.”

Janus had just a moment upon hearing the name to think that maybe there was actually some sort of intelligent design of the universe and whatever being of ultimate power had crafted it was a dick.

The door opened and Virgil Eran’s eyes immediately narrowed on him. “Janus.”

“Virgil.”

“I see you’re still late for everything.”

“I see you’re still a bastard.”

 Janus saw the receptionist slowly back away in the direction they’d come.

“Why don’t you come in?” Virgil said faux pleasantly.

Janus did, because he really didn’t have much of a choice at this point unless he wanted to jump out of a window… or push someone out of a window.

Virgil turned back into his office and took a seat behind his desk. Janus unhappily followed him in and sat across from him.

He took his time pulling up whatever the TPI sent him and reading it over. “So, I see you failed your recovery mission and were arrested in 1923.”

 “It wasn’t like that,” Janus said. “I shouldn’t be here.”

Virgil gave him that same suspicious look he used to give Janus whenever Janus claimed to have not eaten his hot pockets out of the freezer in the middle of the night. He’d only been lying 80% of the time. Virgil had a tendency to forget what he’d eaten in a half-conscious state at 3 o’clock in the morning.

“I shouldn’t,” Janus snapped defensively. “Nothing went wrong with anyone from the time period. An illegal time traveler screwed up the mission details.”

“Well, it is still protocol to make sure nothing slipped when agents go off script. You weren’t prepared to be in a jail cell, and it is possible that you screwed something up.”

 “I didn’t screw anything up,” Janus growled.

“Alright,” Virgil said pulling up a document on his desk. “The mission started on July 27th, 1923 at 9:58pm, correct?”

“Oh, god, we’re not really going to fill out a time sheet. I don’t have time for that today.”

“It is protocol and best that the information is documented when it is still fresh in your mind. Besides, your schedule has been cleared for the rest of the workday.” The bastard was enjoying this. He knew how much Janus hated this stuff.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” Janus said, “it was the damned illicit time traveler.”

“And I will be the judge of that,” Virgil said. Janus should have just bit the bullet and had coffee with his brother. “If you truly did nothing wrong, your supervisor will see that when I send this to her.”

 Yet, despite the fact that Virgil clearly relished in his suffering, he was charitable enough to do most of the actual filling out of the forms. He’d read out the questions and write down what Janus said instead of making him do it himself. Janus really only had to do a quick quality check and sign it at the end.

He still was an asshole about the details, but really he’d been like that about stupid thing like the settings for the dish washer and how the pantry was organized during their college days before they’d had their falling out, so Janus wasn’t particularly surprised. When they were finally done, Virgil sent it off to get filed by the TPI.

 Then, they were left staring at each other with nothing between them but almost a decade of radio silence and a whole lot of awkwardness.

“I should go,” Janus finally said, standing up.

Virgil tilted his head slightly to the side and gave him a half smile. “Don’t lock the door behind you,” he said. “Not that I’d expect you too.”

Janus took it for the clear attempt at a joke it was intended to be and puffed out a breath of amusement with a head shake. “No risk of that,” he said. Then, he turned and walked out of the office.

 Chapter 5

Janus stepped back into the reception area and booted up his time piece. Instinct said to go back to the office despite the fact that it was late enough that most people had gone home, but he hesitated. Surely Emile had given up by now, but considering he’d sent someone to ambush him in his office, Janus wasn’t sure if he should trust that. He could just go home, but he already knew his mind was racing too much to sleep tonight so he’d probably just end up staring at the lake for the next 6 hours. So, he decided on the only other legitimate option he had. He pulled up Remus’s home coordinates and selected.

 The home that Remus had chosen (after his long line of rejected requests) managed to somehow make no and absolute sense simultaneously to anyone who knew him. It was a small farm in the United States just west of the Mississippi in 1842 in what would be ratified as the state of Iowa in a few years. When asked why he would choose that time and place, Remus always responded with “I thought it was funny,” whatever that meant.

Unlike most time agents who simply used the identities assigned to them by the AMO as a cover, Remus actually lived his part time.

 Janus was… fairly certain he was cheating a bit to get everything done, but he maintained his small farm all on his own, growing most of his own food. The neighbors he had lived very far away, but he still spoke with them far more than Janus did his own.

Janus appeared inside the small home, his eyes already shut. “Are you hear and dressed?” Janus called. Something bumped lightly into his legs.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Janus peaked his eyes open and squatted to pet the cat at his feet. “That doesn’t answer my question!” he called back to Remus.

 “It’s a surprise!” Remus said.

“Remus.” Diesel Fuel the cat flopped to her side on the ground as Janus continued to pet her ears. He heard Remus’s footsteps, and saw cloth covering his legs, so risked looking up. He was currently not only dressed, but wearing an apron that Janus was fairly sure was not time appropriate judging by the fabric and cat pawprint design. He had a bit of flour on his hands, and it may have been a bit too white for the time and place, but Janus couldn’t be completely sure.

“What’re you doing here?” Remus asked.

 “My day has been an endless series of frustrations,” Janus said. “So, I have come to see the only tolerable being in the history of the universe.”

Remus snorted. “Since I know that isn’t me, I’ll assume you’re talking about the cat.”

“I still don’t understand why you tolerate this creature,” Janus addressed Diesel Fuel. She blinked slowly up at him. “To be fair, he was assigned as my partner. I didn’t have much of a choice in it. You could go always run away and become feral in the woods if you’d like.”

“So could you, technically,” Remus pointed out.

“I’m thinking about it after today.”

 “Would you like some bread?” Remus asked. “That’s all I’ve been making this afternoon. Some fresh should be coming out of the oven in a few minutes.”

“Do you have anything stronger made out of wheat?”

“Ew, no, but I do have vodka.”

“Vodka works.”

“Want me to mix it with something?”

“No.”

“One of those night then,” Remus said, easily. “Let me finish up the bread, so I don’t burn the kitchen down. You can go get the alcohol from the cellar while you wait if you want, or you can just flop down on the couch.”

He was going to just flop down on the couch.

 He did just that as Remus disappeared back into his kitchen. The cat hopped onto his stomach, proceeding to purr loudly and kneed at chest. Janus petted the cat and listened to the noise of Remus moving around in the other room, letting his mind drift. His mind drifted to Virgil for a bit and he steadfastly did not allow it to drift to his brother. Yet, the thing that most was on his mind was the strange man who had flirted and charmed Janus all night before mercilessly screwing him over. ‘Pat’ he’d said his name was, but surely that was not his real name.

 Janus sighed and scratched the cat’s ear. “He certainly wasn’t an amateur,” Janus mused to the cat. “With that amount of precision to get in before we did, he must have someone not on the ground feeding him information. Perhaps more than one.” He was part of a group of time traveling thieves perhaps or something worse. “I didn’t get a good look at his face since he was wearing a mask,” Janus said, “but I spent a lot of time with him, and I’m sure Remy swiped the mask from the police since it had been on me when I was arrested. It’s a good lead.”

 He continued to pet Diesel Fuel. Eventually, Remus came back in, noticed Janus hadn’t bothered to get the alcohol and went outside to the cellar. “I’m going to find him,” Janus told Diesel Fuel. “I’ll stop whatever it is he’s doing, and I’ll bring him in.” Diesel Fuel mewed her support, and Janus patted her on top of the head.

Remus came back in with the bottle of vodka and handed it to him without a word. He sat down on the couch near Janus’s feet and patted his lap so Diesel Fuel would come over to him and allow Janus to sit up.

 The bastard waited until he was approximately 3 shots in (he didn’t have a shot glass and was just taking drinks from the bottle) to ask the questions Janus really didn’t want to answer. “Are you mad at Emile?” Remus asked.

Janus groaned, trying to wash out the bitter taste of shame and grief with the sharp sting of vodka. It didn’t work. “No,” he said to Remus.

“Then why have you been avoiding him?”

“Shit, I’m here because I didn’t want to think about it. Can’t we just not.”

“Don’t want to think about what?

“It’s none of your business, Remus.”

 He could feel Remus frowning at him, but Janus stared resolutely ahead. At least, he did until a foot poked his face. He slapped it away, but it did the job of getting Janus to look at Remus.

“It is my business,” Remus said, foot still in the air. “I’m your partner and your friend.”

“If I’m your friend, you’ll drop it.”

“So, you’re not mad at Emile,” Remus continued, contemplatively. “Did you do something to him, then?” Janus bit his lip and looked away. “What?” Remus asked. Janus didn’t respond. “Look, I’m sure he’ll forgive you for whatever it is. He’s a good guy. Just talk to him about it.”

 “I can’t,” Janus said.

“Whatever it is, it’s probably been long enough that he forgives you. You literally just have to have a conversation, say you’re sorry, and everything will be A-OK.”

“I can’t,” Janus repeated.

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t know about it.”

Remus paused. “So, as far as he knows, you just cut contact with him all of a sudden for no reason and have been avoiding him ever since?”

Janus looked at his shoes. “Yeah.”

“That…” Remus said, “is not fucking fair Janus.”

“I know.”

“Then why the hell are you doing that to him? He’s like… soft and feeling-y. He’s probably really upset.”

 “I know, Remus.”

“Tell him. Whatever it is.”

“I can’t.”

“Look,” Remus said. “You tell him and he either forgives you or he doesn’t. If he does, everything’s fine. If he doesn’t… well, it’s not like it would be any different from you two never being in the same room the last few years. Either way, you can’t just do this to him. He’ll probably forgive you. He’s your brother. Brothers don’t… brothers would forgive each other.”

Janus laughed softly and met Remus’s eyes. “That’s the problem,” he said. “He’d definitely forgive me.” He turned away and opened the vodka bottle again. “Now, if you’ll shut up for a few minutes, I’m going to drink until I black out.”

 Chapter 6

“Really, Khalid,” Janus said, storming into his boss’s office. “A yellow?” It had been about a week since the 1920s incident, and his incident report had finally been cleared. Sure, it wasn’t a red or a black and he wasn’t facing any reprimand, but it should have been a green.

She looked up at him, clearly unconcerned. “There was an incident,” she said. “You handled it well, but there was one. Therefore, yellow.”

“It wasn’t a time travel incident! It was a rouge time traveler.”

“Janus, you helped me make these rules,” she said impatiently.

“Which is why I know this is bullshit,” he snapped.

 She rolled her eyes. “If it was anyone else, you would agree with me. While you didn’t go against protocol and had no time related incidents, the fact of the matter is, you were still distracted by this ‘rouge time traveler,’ didn’t complete your mission, and were arrested.”

“He was good,” Janus said. “You can’t fault me for that. He also could be dangerous and you’re busy handing out yellows instead of working to track him down.”

She raised an eyebrow. “We are working on tracking him down,” she said. “We have done an analysis on the mask and found fibers dating to the 2010s and some DNA. Though it isn’t exactly a high priority.”

 “We have no idea who he is or what he’s planning to do. Why is that not a high priority thing?”

“At the moment?” she asked. “Because we have reports of a time bomb being activated.”

“What?” Janus asked sitting up. “When?”

“New Years Eve going into the year 3,000 in Brazil,” she said. “Which you’d know about if you’d bothered to check your integration port this morning before storming into my office.”

“It’s my mission?” Janus asked.

“The incident investigation is over and your active again despite the dreaded yellow,” she said, clearly making fun of him a bit. “So, yes, and it’s a high priority mission, so I’ll be running it.”

 “Who all is going?” he asked.

“Other than the two of us, Remus, Lena, and Fred,” she told him. “We leave in three hours, so, you might want to run off to Rhi before Fred gets to her and ties her up for an hour on details.”

Janus nodded and got to his feet. He turned back at the door. “I still don’t deserve the yellow,” he hissed.

She waved him off. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Picani.”

He ground his teeth a bit about the dismissal of his worries, but his resentment was slightly soothed by the fact that she’d assigned him to go on such a high priority mission and with only senior agents.

 He took the advice and grabbed Remus from the office, noting Lena hadn’t been able to wrangle Fred yet as she was still at her desk, and they both headed off to see Rhi.

A few hours later, they were all in decontamination together, decked out in truly god-awful costumes. The turn of the third millennia had been a wild event, and the best way to fit in was to look like you’d grabbed something from every century in recorded human history, dyed it in neon paint, and rolled around in a vat of glitter.

Remus had opted to stick his head in a vat of glow in the dark green paint that costuming had offered them, and it wasn’t even going to be slightly disruptive to their covertness.

 In fact, costuming had frowned when Janus had insisted he not get his hair dyed and instead wore a bowler hat. They had required him to have flowers made out of glitter on it.

There were five people waiting for them when they landed 6 hours before the turn of the millennia. Three were touchdown agents, including Remy, and two were on location tech support. Usually it would be overkill to have that many people there just for support even with five agents in the field, but today the TPI needed to be cautious because they were planning on instituting a time lock.

Time bombs were dangerous things that would ripple through time if not contained. Even if it did end up going off (killing everyone in its reach), the time lock would serve to prevent most damage outside of the city and, more importantly, the year it was planted.

 Janus had only been in two time locks before, and he was one of the most senior agents in the TPI, outranked only by the founder: Lia Khalid. Time locks were designed to keep all time linear in a certain fixed time and geographical area as well as prevent any time travel in and out. Once it was engaged, all forms of time travel would not work for the duration, bar the pin device. Khalid was already switching out her regular timepiece with the slightly bigger one that was designed to support the time lock.

There was a failsafe back at the TPI that could be engaged in an emergency, which was why tech support was here, but other than that, the only thing that could break the time lock was that timepiece, and it would break the moment the time lock ended.

 As soon as it was on Khalid’s wrist, she looked up at them all. “Our information says the time bomb was planted in the costume of one of the ‘Millennium Birds’ who are the organizers of the different events,” she said. Janus had seen a photo of the identical costumes in the mission details. They were all robe like garments with giant fans of feathers coming from the neck that coalesced in a peak a foot above their head to hold a fake bird egg. At least they’d be easy to find. “There are 25 of them throughout the city. We need to find each of them. So, we don’t double count, you’ll need to subtly,” her eyes touched on Remus, “scan each one you find for the bomb and tag them with a tracker if it’s not on them. You can view the already tagged ones, as well as the rest of us on your timepiece even once the time lock is engaged. When you find the bomb, call it in.”

 They all nodded, and Khalid looked over at one of the techies. She nodded at her and then the techie flipped a couple of switches. “Three, two, one,” the techie said. There was a slight shift in the air that most people would disregard, but Janus as a seasoned time traveler could feel the change even before his wrist buzzed. He glanced at his timepiece to see it had a big red ‘X’ across its display. He tapped it and was still able to bring up the map of the city with 10 green dots on it all clustered together in their current location.

 After that, he tested the scanner on his timepiece that he would use to search for the bomb, just to make sure the time lock hadn’t messed anything up with his equipment. He glanced up to see everyone else was doing the same.

“Keep in contact,” Khalid said before everyone split up. Janus and Remus started by going North while Fredrick and Darlene were to go South. Khalid was a floater who would tag any Birds she saw but was mostly there for backup and orders.

Janus and Remus stepped into the chaos of New Years Eve before the turn of the third millennia. The streets were already swamped with people and it would only be getting worse the later it go.

“Where should we start?” Remus asked.

 “Let’s go all the way North to the games area,” Janus said. “We can work our way back here.”

“Okay!” Remus said. “I wonder if they have those fun little genetically modified goldfish as prizes. I’ve always wanted to eat one and see if I end up getting whatever design was on the fish on my body.”

Janus gave him a disgusted look.

“What?! People eat fish all the time!”

Janus shook his head. “We’re not playing the games anyway. We have work to do. Important work.”

“Boo,” Remus replied. Janus chose to ignore him as he spotted one of the Millenia Birds letting people into the gaming area.

 They walked over towards the entrance. Janus got in range first and moved to subtly scan the Millenia Bird, Remus doing the same the next moment. After a second, Janus’s timepiece buzzed and lit up red, meaning the bomb was within range. “Well, that was easy,” he said. “It was on the first one we found.”

“Uh…” Remus said. “Jan.” When Janus looked, he was holding up his wrist to show his green lit time piece.

“What?” Janus asked. He quickly moved to rescan the Millenia Bird, and his timepiece came up green as well. Which, meant the bomb was not in range, even though the Millenia Bird had not moved. “But…” He and Remus’s eyes met, and they quickly both started turning in a circle to look at the crowd around him. No one looked like they’d just stolen a time bomb off the Millennial Bird, but then Janus’s eyes caught on a man. He blended in perfectly to his surroundings. He was wearing the disgusting garb of the times, a large light blue piece that bubbled near his hips, and had most of his skin covered in rainbow neon paints. Yet, something about him, the curl of his hair or the way he moved, drew Janus’s eyes to him. He recognized the man immediately even in a completely different dressing style. Yet, what cinched it was the moment Janus’s eyes met his and they seemed to sparkle slightly in the afternoon sun. The next moment, the person Janus knew as Pat, turned to disappear into the crowd.

 Chapter 7

“Him,” was the only thing Janus said before taking off after the figure who had just disappeared into the game area.

“What?” Remus’s voice followed after him. “Janus! What?!”

Janus did not pause, just continuing to run after Pat, hopping over two barricades as a shortcut. Janus cursed when he lost sight of the man for just a moment near the prize table filled with colorful goldfish, but he was able to spot him once again walking into one of the tents. Janus blasted into the tent. It was a game where they raced rats, and when Janus entered, Pat was cooing at one of them.

 “Who’s a tiny little squishy precious baby?” he was asking one of them, wiggling his pointer finger at it.

“You,” Janus growled stepping up to him.

He turned and tilted his head at Janus with a frown. “Um, me?” he asked, pointing to his chest, all sorts of innocent, but Janus could see a spot of hidden amusement in his eyes.

“Where is it?”

His eyebrows drew together, but it was an act. It was clearly an act! “Where is what?”

“The…” he glanced around them at the people surrounding them. “Thing you just took.”

“I didn’t take anything,” Pat said with a frown.

 “Oh, no,” Janus said. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fooling me twice is not an option.”

“I’m sorry sir,” Pat said. “I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Bull. Shit.”

Just then, Remus jogged into the tent. “What’s going on?” he asked.

“It’s him,” Janus said pointing. “He took it. He has it.”

“I… don’t know what you’re talking about,” Patton said. He looked over to Remus with a confused frown.

Remus looked at Janus. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Janus said. “It’s him. It has to be him. He’s the mask guy.”

Remus squinted at Pat. “He is?”

“Whoever you think I am, I’m not. I haven’t worn a mask all night. I just did the face paint,” he pointed to his cheeks.

 Remus raised his wrist and his timepiece lit up green. He looked at Janus.

“I lost sight of him for five seconds. He must have stashed it somewhere,” Janus said. He turned on Pat. “Where did you put it?”

“…Are you,” Pat asked, his eyes going back and forth between Janus and Remus, “… the police?”

“We are, actually,” Khalid said as she stepped into the tent. Remus must have called her. She inserted herself between Janus and Pat. “Agent Khalid,” she said, offering a hand with a smile. Pat looked at it in surprise and then smiled back hesitantly as he took it. “Apologizes, one of the big game prizes was stolen by someone matching your description. Would you mind coming down to security for questioning? Just to clear it up.”

 “Oh,” Patton said, hesitant. Janus expected him to refuse outright, but then he said. “Uh, sure.”

“Thank you very much, Mr…”

“Jonas,” Pat told her earnestly. “Do I need to be handcuffed?”

“No,” Khalid said. Janus frowned at her, but she ignored him. “It’s just a talk for now.” She gestured to the tent entrance. “Come with us.”

He did without argument, and Remus and Janus followed behind the both of them. Khalid did not lead them back to the base, but to a little spot that said “security” near the center of the event. Remy was already there waiting for them at a desk.

 “Remy, would you please take Mr. Jonas to go sit down?” she asked.

“Sure, boss,” Remy said, standing up. He led Pat away.

Khalid turned to Janus and Remus once they were out of earshot. “What is going on?”

“It’s the mask man,” Janus said, “the one from 1923, and my scanner said the time bomb was on the Millenia Bird outside the games entrance, but then it was gone the next second, and I saw him, and then he ran away.”

“So, does he have it on him?”

“No. I lost sight of him, and he must have stored it somewhere, but I know he took it.”

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“He’s the man from 1923?” she asked.

“Yes! Remus, that’s him, right? You recognize him.”

“Well,” Remus said thoughtfully. “He was in a mask, and it was dark in the room with the necklace. Other than that, I only really saw his back, and he was wearing pants. Mr. Jonas is wearing a dress, so I can’t really tell if their asses match.”

“Okay, but I was with him for hours. I swear it’s him, and I swear he took it,” Janus just about shouted.

“We’ll question him,” Khalid placated, “and Fred and Lena will keep looking in the meantime.”

 “He knows where it is,” Janus insisted. “I swear.”

“Okay,” Khalid said, before leaving to follow where Remy and Pat had gone. She stopped Janus with a hand on his shoulder. “I think Remus and I will do the interrogation.” He opened his mouth to argue. “You know the most about him, so observe from the sidelines and see if he makes any mistakes that indicate you’re right.”

“That’s just to placate me and you know it.”

“Observation’s over there,” she said pointing.

He got a thumbs up from Remus as he walked by, and Janus glared at his back before walking off to the indicated location.

 He watched as Remus and Khalid entered the room, and Remy left it. Remy joined him in the observation room after leaving and leaned against the wall.

Pat was sitting at a table and watched Remus and Khalid with that same rubbish placid confusion that he had before. “So,” Khalid said, “Mr. Jonas.”

“You can call me Nick,” Pat interrupted.

“Lia,” Khalid replied. He smiled at her happily. “So, are you enjoying your day?” she asked.

“I am!” he replied. “It’s a big day. You only get to see the turn of a millennia once in your life.”

“Ah, yes,” Khalid said. “Doing anything special for it?”

 “Um, not really,” he said. “Other than the party. I’m going to meet up with my roommates after dinner. Kevin doesn’t like this sort of thing, and Joe couldn’t come.”

“Your roommates,” Khalid said, considering him. “Do you live around here?”

“Uh huh,” Pat replied.

“Do you have any ID?”

“I do, want me to get it?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

Pat unzipped one of the bubbles on his waist and handed her a chip. “Remus, would you mind going out and getting the ID scanner?” she asked, even though her timepiece would be able to read it.

“Ah, shit,” Remy said. “Props. What do those things even look like?”

 As Remy scrambled to find something that would pass for an ID reader so “Nick” didn’t get suspicious of Khalid using her timepiece, Janus watched the two alone in the room like a hawk.

“I see you’re wearing a dress inspired by the 2770s,” Khalid noted, as Remus came to stand next to him.

“Yeah!” Pat replied. “Joe made it for me. He’s really good at fashion design!”

“Can I see?” she asked.

With a happy smile, he reached over the table to let her get a look of the sleeves. Janus saw her subtly scan the fabric, probably to make sure it was from the 2990s and not actually from the 2770s. Considering she didn’t mention it, Janus assumed it checked out.

 Remy came back with some sort of device then and handed it to Remus who saluted and wandered back into the interrogation room. Khalid pretended to scan the ID in her hand. She handed it back to him without comment. “So, you said you live with your roommates: Joe and Kevin?” she asked.

“Yep!” he replied. “We’re practically like brothers.”

“Would you mind calling them?”

“Erm,” he titled his head like he was confused by the question. “Well, like I said, Joe is a bit busy, but I could definitely call Kevin.

“Here,” Khalid said, “use my phone.”

“I have my own,” he said with a frown.

“Humor me,” she requested.

“Uh, okay,” Pat agreed. He took the offered 2999 phone and dialed a number on it. Khalid reached over to put it on speaker.

“Hello?” a voice asked after a few seconds.

“Um, hey Kevin, it’s Nick.”

There was a sigh on the other end. “Hello Nick, is something wrong? Why are you calling me from someone else’s phone?”

“I’m fine, I think.” He looked up at Khalid. “Why am I calling him exactly?”

“Hello, I’m Officer Khalid,” Khalid said. “I just wanted to confirm that you are Nick Jonas’s roommate, and he does live in Manaus.”

“Yes, we live together with our other roommate,” the man replied flippantly. “Officer? Is something wrong?”

“I believe there was just a case of mistaken identity,” Khalid said.

“Bullshit there was!” Janus hissed, though she could not hear him.

“No need to worry,” Khalid continued.

“I’m good Kevin,” Pat said.

“Are you absolutely sure?” Kevin asked.

“Don’t be Paranoid, Kevin. I’ll see you Tonight for the New Years Celebration. You know I Live to Party.”

“I am hanging up now,” Kevin said.

“No! Comeback.” The line went dead. Pat handed the device back to Khalid.

She took it and smiled at him. “Give us just a couple of minutes,” she requested. He nodded easily, and she and Remus exited the interrogation room. “I… think we’re done here,” Khalid said.

“No, he’s lying,” Janus insisted, and got a dubious look in return. “I know he is! Remus!”

“The alibi is pretty solid…” Remus said, “and he doesn’t have the bomb on him.”

“Oh, come on,” Janus said. “You can’t say there is nothing fishy going on here.”

Khalid and Remus shared a look. “Janus,” Khalid said. “I respect your intuition. It is usually very good, but you have been a bit intense about the man from the 1920s, and I think that may be blinding you a bit...”

“I am not imagining this!” Janus said. “That’s him and he took it.”

“You only met him once while he was wearing a mask,” Khalid pointed out with a frown, “and you didn’t see him take the bomb, did you?”

“No, but he looked at me and I knew,” Janus argued. They both gave him a skeptical look. “Oh, come on!”

“You know that’s a little weak, Jan,” Remus said.

“Let me talk to him,” Janus requested. “Just give me five minutes to talk with him.”

Khalid raised one eyebrow. “Fine,” she agreed. “You have five minutes, but after that, you have to let it go. We can’t waste any more time.”

 Chapter 8

Pat looked up as Janus stepped into the interrogation room. “Hi,” he said with an innocent smile that could cut steal.

Janus didn’t say a word as he took a seat; he just watched him intently. He leaned slightly over the table and steepled his fingers in front of his chin. “So, your name is Nick this time?” Janus asked.

“Nicholas Jonas,” he said. “Always has been.”

“Stop it,” Janus said.

“Stop what?”

“Cut the crap. I know.”

Pat leaned forward, mirroring Janus as he leaned closer, interlocking his fingers and laying his chin on top of his knuckles. “What did you say your name was again?” he asked, pleasantly.

 “Janus,” Janus replied.

“No, I’m Jonas,” he said, pointing to his chest.

“Not Jonas,” Janus spat. “Janus.”

“Um,” Pat said, eyes alight with amusement. The bastard. “Those are the same words.”

“No, they’re not. It’s Janus. J-A-N-U.-S.”

“Well, that’s confusing,” Pat said with a frown, but his nose was crinkling. “It’s close to my name. You should go by a nickname instead.”

“What?” Janus said. “No.”

Pat hummed. “How about Love Bug?”

“What! No!” Janus sputtered, almost flipping the table, as Pat winked at him.

“BB Good?”

“What does that even mean?!”

“Mandy.”

“No!”

“Okay, okay, how about Macy Misa.”

11594

Janus stared at him for a moment. “Fine. Whatever. What was I even talking about?”

“Hmm. I Believe we were talking about my name and how you think it’s not my name.”

“Right,” Janus said. “So, Nick. That was your roommate, Kevin on the phone, right? He seemed a bit unhappy with you. Any reason?”

“Nah, we’re Cool” said Pat. “That’s Just the Way We Roll.”

“Not because you’re messing up a mission right now?”

Pat’s eyes crinkled together. “A mission?” he parroted. “I’m not messing up a mission.”

“Oh, really?” Janus growled. “Because you’ve been captured by the TPI, and I know who you are and what you’ve been doing.”

“I have no idea what the TPI is,” he claimed.

“Yes, you do!” Janus said, standing up. “You obviously do! Or you wouldn’t be playing this game!”

 “Game?” Pat asked. “Macy I ask you what you’re talking about.”

“This is all just a game to you isn’t it!” Janus said, slamming his hands down on the table in front of them.

“Whoa,” Pat said, putting his hands up. “Calm down. Your face is getting all red. You must be Burnin’ Up.”

“I’m not sure what, but something about what you just said pisses me off.”

“And that is five minutes,” Khalid said, bursting into the room. He felt a tug on the back of his shirt and glared back at Remus who was putting his own body between Janus and Pat.

 “There was no way that was five minutes,” Janus growled.

“It was five minutes,” Khalid gritted out. “Remus, get him out of here.”

“Come on Jay,” Remus said, dragging him back towards the door.

“Remus, I swear to god.”

“Just chill, Janus,” Remus said, slamming the door closed behind them.

Janus shrugged him off. “You chill!” he snapped. “He’s playing you all for the fool.”

“Wow, Macy,” Remy drawled like an asshole. “I’ve never seen you so fired up.”

“Oh, my gosh. No one is going to believe me, and he’s going to get away with this.”

“You’re not really helping your case, babe,” Remy said.

 Remus grabbed him by the shoulders again. “Here, let’s go get some water.”

“I don’t want water,” he said even as he let Remus lead him to another room to get a glass of water.

“Look,” Remus said. “I know the Mask Guy thing really sucked, but you have to look at the facts.

“I am looking at the facts,” Janus insisted, “and the facts are, he’s fucking with me.”

“You don’t know what mask guy looks like,” Remus said. “You didn’t see Nick take the time bomb, he has an ID from this time period and a roommate in this time he called on the phone, and he legitimately seems to not know what any of us are talking about.”

 “Did you even listen to our conversation?” Janus asked. “He was screwing with me the entire time!”

“Janus…” Remus said.

“What?” Janus said, narrowing his eyes at Remus’s tone.

“I know you recently had a bad experience, but not everyone who flirts with you is doing it out of evil.”

Janus’s mouth hung open for a few seconds. “That’s what you got out of our conversation?”

“He called you Love Bug.”

Janus felt his face heat a bit at the reminder. “That’s not… I. I’m stealing your cat and then never speaking to you again.”

Remus laughed. “Ah,” he said. “Young lust.”

Janus elbowed him roughly in the side. “No!”

“Yes!” he crooned, pleased.

 “You are the worst partner,” Janus hissed. “When I’m right you owe me 10 loafs of your fresh bread.”

“Branching out from poptarts?” Remus asked.

Janus shook his head. He still wasn’t happy about the state of things, but he could feel himself cooling down a bit.

Khalid came out of the integration room after a few minutes, leaving Pat with Remy. “What was that?” she asked him.

“He got under my skin,” Janus said.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she said. “For now, we’re letting him go and then going back to looking for the bomb like we’re meant to be.”

 “Fine,” Janus relented. “Just do me the favor of tagging him before he leaves. Just that. I beg of you.”

“Sure,” she agreed. “If it will calm you down.”

He nodded.

“Then, let’s go,” she said. When they met back up with Remy and Pat, he saw Khalid make the subtle gesture that would tag Pat like they would have for the Millennium Birds. Pat sent him what could pass as a sweet smile if Janus didn’t know better. Then, they walked him outside, leaving Remy on clean-up duty for the make-shift security office.

“So, I’m free to go?” Pat asked. His bemused expression edged far too much on the side of amused verses confused for Janus’s taste.

 “You are,” Khalid said. “Have fun at the festivities.”

His hands went flapping about. “Oh, you too!” he said. “Well, I guess you’re working, but you can have fun anyway, I’m sure.”

“We’ll do our best,” she said.

He gave her a blinding smile and reached forward to shake her hand enthusiastically. Janus rolled his eyes and looked up at the heavens. “It was nice to meet you!” he said, “and you too, Remus!” He turned to meet Janus’s eyes. “Macy Misa.”

Janus pressed his lips together.

Then, Pat turned and walked away.

“Well, now that we’re done with that,” Khalid said, turning to them. “We have only a few more hours before midnight and we really need to find the time bomb.

 “Oh,” Pat called. He’d paused a few yards away and turned back to them. “Thanks for letting me go so easily by the way,” he said, “and just in the Nick,” he winked, “of time too.” Janus narrowed his eyes at him. He smiled back. “Wrist check,” he said holding up his arm to show off the timepiece there. Khalid immediately looked down at her own wrist just to see that the one timepiece that could move through the time lock was no longer there. Pat made a gesture and disappeared.

All three of them stared at the spot he’d been for a long moment.

Janus was the one to speak first. “I want. The yellow. To be erased. From my record.”

 Chapter 9

Khalid immediately called everyone back to base.

“What happened?” asked Fred when he and Lena arrived. The tech people were already scrambling to get through to the TPI and get the time lock broken from the outside.

“Remus, Remy, and Khalid got played by Pat or whatever his name is. It certainly isn’t Nick. He was just setting up a joke,” Janus told him.

“Stop being smug,” Remy said. “It’s not a good look for you.”

“Pat is…?” Lena asked.

“They guy who fucked me over in 1923,” Janus said, “and is currently in the middle of fucking us all over because he stole the pin timepiece, and by extrapolation, probably the time bomb too.”

 “It will be fine,” said Khalid, “because what he doesn’t know is that timepiece has a tracker on it. Wherever and whenever he went, we’ll have his coordinates.”

“Speaking of,” one of the techies said. “It’s about to break. You might want to hold onto something.” Janus grabbed for a support beam next to him as the techie put a device on the ground in the center of the base. It blinked once, twice, and on the third blink the ground rumbled. There were sounds of panicked yelps outside. The fail safe for the time lock was not nearly as gentle as ending it correctly.

 Everything settled after a few moments, and they all straightened themselves out. Janus’s timepiece buzzed to indicate it was now functioning normally. Khalid had returned her usual timepiece to her wrist and now used it to open a display they could all see. “The pin timepiece’s closest time/space coordinates are…” she trailed off. “Right outside?” She frowned. “That’s strange. Why would he still be here?” She turned to march outside, following the coordinates to a trash can. She pulled the pin timepiece out and stared at it. “Fuck,” she said.

“What just happened?” Remy asked.

“He ticked us,” Janus said. “Again.”

 “He was stuck in the time lock,” Khalid said. “That’s why he got our attention. He couldn’t leave with the time bomb unless he had the pin timepiece or we broke the time lock. Apparently, he’s smart enough to know that if he took the pin timepiece away from here, we’d probably be able to find him, but he knew we’d break the lock as soon as the pin went missing. So, he must have stashed his own timepiece and went back in time within the time lock to grab it while we were distracted with the past version of him. As soon as the time lock went down, I imagine he left.”

 “Probably with the time bomb,” Janus said.

“Probably with the time bomb,” she confirmed.

And everyone knew the only thing worse than a time bomb was a time bomb you didn’t know the location of.

They evacuated after that, of course, and time locked the location once they were out just in case they were wrong, but midnight 3000 struck without thousands of people dying in Brazil, so the time bomb had defiantly been removed from then.

The, they initiated a time travel lockdown for all nonessentials, not willing to let random history students get caught up in an explosion if Pat decided to set the thing off somewhere.

 Then, it was a matter of figuring out everything they could about ‘Pat.’ First, they checked the tracker data as Khalid had tagged him with one of the Millennium Bird trackers. It wouldn’t work outside of the zone they’d set up that day, but the record would show his behavior during the time lock after he’d escaped with the pin timepiece.

There had been many little green dots on the map that day as Fred and Lena had actually been doing the job they’d set out to do, but most of those were running around in the south. There had been one green dot, however, that appeared suddenly in the game area about 10 minutes before the time bomb had been stolen.

 They could see Janus’s yellow dot almost brush his when he’d been chasing the earlier Pat down, around when he’d lost him briefly. The earlier Pat must have all but handed it off to his future self.

“He doubled back,” Remus commented when they watched the recorded data. It was a ballsy move and one that most people balked at, because there were inherent dangers any time you interacted with yourself from a different point in the timestream. It was ripe for paradoxes. It made everyone at the agency even more worried, because if he was willing to risk that, then what else was he willing to do?

 Because of the lockdown of all nonessential time travel, people working for the TPI were not allowed to go home for the night. They were allowed to pick up anyone or anything dependent on them for care like kids and pets if there wasn’t someone in their home time to care for them, but other than that, they were unfortunately all sleeping in their offices for the foreseeable future.

“You are the only tolerable one,” Janus told the cat who upon being let loose in the office by Remus, immediately jumped on Janus’s lap.

“I have literally done nothing to you,” Lena said, but then added. “Yet.”

 “You exist. In my space.”

“Can’t we just all get along?” asked Fred. “It’s only been an hour past when we’d usually go home. I went and grabbed milk and I have my giant thing of different flavored hot chocolate under my desk. We can try them all and vote on which is better.”

“Fuck your hot chocolate, Fred,” Janus growled, having been one of the three who had chipped in to buy it for him on his last birthday.

“Don’t go after Fred, jackass,” Lena spat.

“He’s just testy because his boyfriend escaped,” Remus contributed.

Janus’s lips turned down into a frown and he cupped Diesel Fuel’s face. “We agree we’re eating him first, right?” he asked her.

 She purred her agreement.

“I’d have it no other way,” Remus replied.

“There is plenty of food,” Fred said, sounding stressed. “In fact, I was thinking we should all chip in on ordering take-out soon. “What does everyone like on pizza?”

“This is not a slumber party, Fred,” Janus pointed out.

“Shut it,” Lena snapped and turned to Fred. “I’m fine with almost everything, except…”

“Bananas and tuna salad!” Remus interrupted.

“…whatever Remus is about to say.”

Janus rolled his eyes as that started a debate about whether or not fruit and/or fish belonged on pizza. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, which was when there was a knock on the door.

 He froze when he heard the familiar voice. “Hello, hello,” said Emile, cheerfully. Janus looked up to see Emile standing at the open office door. Shit. Apparently, the man had decided to give up on sending lackeys to come fetch him and had decided to track him down himself when Janus couldn’t even escape without breaking a time lockdown. They met eyes briefly and Janus could see irritation if not anger in his eyes despite his otherwise cheerful expression and tone.

“Janus,” he said when he’d gotten their attention. “I’d like to have dinner with you.” The word choice told Janus everything he needed to know. Usually Emile was careful with how he said things to make sure people knew they had a choice. Typically he’d say something like, “I was wondering if you���d have time to have dinner with me tonight,” or “I’m about to go get food, would you like to come?” Today, there was no choice in the statement.

 Janus still dried to dodge anyway. “Uh,” he said. “We were actually about to order pizza.”

“Go ahead,” said Fred kindly. Janus wanted to strangle him. “We can order pizza with olives if you’re not here.”

“I…” said Janus. “Guess, I’ll be going with you.”

“Great!” Emile said. “Let’s go.”

“Oh,” Janus said. “Uh, now?”

“Now,” Emile said a bit of uncharacteristic steel to his tone.

 Well, Janus was screwed. He swallowed his nervousness and got to his feet, taking Diesel Fuel with him. He turned to hand her off to Remus with a plea in his eye, but he just got an eyebrow raise in return. Traitor.

Then, he followed Emile out of the office door. “What would you like to eat?” asked Emile.

“Uh,” Janus said. “I don’t know. You asked me to eat, don’t you have any ideas?”

“I don’t actually,” Emile replied. Right.

“…Noddle Bar?” Janus threw out the nearest restaurant he knew.

“The one noodle restaurant? Sure,” Emile answered simply. They walked side by side out of the front doors of the TPI building. Janus actually couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken these stairs. He usually used his timepiece to get in and out.

 The noodle bar was only moderately busy at this time. They were quickly able to find a table near the back and Emile pulled his menu up in front of him. Emile hummed as he flipped through the different displays. “What are you having?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Janus said, only then pulling up the menu himself, but still not quite looking at it.

“What about the fortune noodles,” Emile suggested.

Janus shook his head. “I don’t like those,” he said.

Emile glanced at him through the menu displays. “You used to.” Fortune noodles were a bit cheekily named. They didn’t actually indicate anything about your future. They were just supposed to taste like what you wanted from your future. A grad student might experience a feeling like they’d just aced a paper. A child that they got to stay up an hour later that night. Janus had liked the experience when he was younger, but in recent years, he’d begun to taste the underlying chemicals in the dish until that’s all he could.

 “Well,” Emile said lightly, eyes on his menu. “That makes me even more worried for your mental health than I already was because of the almost three years of you avoiding talking to me.”

“No small talk, huh?” Janus asked.

“Forgive me,” Emile said, eyes now focused on Janus, and tone much darker. “How has your life been since I last saw your face 5 months ago during a business meeting and you refused to look me in the eye? Anything interesting happen? Shave your head and let it all regrow? Develop an allergy to peanuts? Join a convent and take an oath of silence that you only just broke today?”

“No,” said Janus quietly into the table.

 “Great,” Emile said clipped. “Small talk over. Order your food.” Janus reached up blindly to select the first thing that came up on the food and drink menu as Emile punched something into his own and both menu displays disappeared, meaning there was nothing between their faces anymore. “You know, I was willing to give you a year,” Emile said. “I was willing to let you deal with it on your own because I thought eventually, you’d come talk to me about it, but apparently I was mistaken. The next year, I thought maybe you thought I didn’t want to talk to you, so I subtly made myself available, and you never took me up on the offer. I thought maybe I was just not being clear, and I should make my desire to talk to you more explicit, but as you have been routinely, clearly avoiding me at every single turn, I’ve decided I’ve had enough. So, let’s lay it all on the table. Is it me or do you need help?”

 Janus closed his eyes. “It’s not you.”

“Then you need help,” Emile concluded.

Janus shook his head.

“Yes,” Emile snapped. “Whatever this is has gone on far too long.”

Janus stood up and slammed his hand down on the table. “And it’s going to keep going on!” he said. The food popped up at that moment. It appeared Janus had ordered lasagna and bubble tea, and Emile had ordered something with spaghetti and a fizzy drink.

“So, you’re just planning to go on being miserable then?” Emile asked, and Janus wasn’t sure if it was worse or better that he didn’t sound angry anymore.

14656

Janus slapped his hand down on the “To Go” button and his dinner was insta-wrapped by the table. “Yes,” he said.

“What exactly do you think you’re paying penance for, Janus?” Emile asked.

“You wouldn’t understand,” Janus said, paying for both of their meals with his fingerprint.

“That’s a cop out and you know it,” Emile said. “All you’d have to do is talk to me. Or even just talk to someone else. Please.”

“Just…” Janus said, grabbing his bag of food to avoid looking at him. “Just, leave me be.” He walked out of the noodle shop without another word.

 Chapter 10

“And I thought Remus was going to be the most disgusting roommate in this equation,” Lena grumbled. Janus and Lena were apparently the earlier risers in the group as Fred was still curled up around a pillow and Remus was sprawled out under his desk.

Janus flipped her off.

“Protein infused Poptarts and caffeinated orange juice for breakfast?” she asked. “Just eat an energy bar and have a cup of coffee like a normal person.”

He took another pointed bite of his Poptart.

“You’re a horrible roommate. This is why they gave us different partners.”

“Yeah, well you snore, asshole,” Janus said after finishing off his meal.

 “I’d tell you to go eat shit, but you already did that once this morning.”

A pillow flew across the room and somehow managed to hit the both of them. “S’op fighting,” Fred mumbled. “It’s sleep time.”

“It’s morning Fred,” Lena said.

“No,” Fred mumbled.

Janus ignored them, turning back to his integration port to continue to keep plugging in phrases of interest, but he kept getting nothing.

“What are you doing?” Lena asked after a few moments of him huffing at his screen reader.

“Trying to do anything that may change our current living arrangements.”

She puffed out an amused breath. “Can I help?”

 “Can you see any connection between these words and phrases?” he asked, pulling away his screen reader and tapping at the words he’d typed out.

“Paranoid, tonight, I live to party, comeback, love Bug, BB good, Mandy, Macy Misa, I believe, cool, that’s just the way we roll, burnin’ up,” she said. “What are these?”

“They’re things Pat said when we interrogated that struck me funny,” Janus explained. “I feel like he was saying something more than what he said.”

“Hmm,” she said. “PTI for the first three?”

“Maybe,” Janus agreed, “but what about the rest of it? I feel like I’m missing something.”

15080

“Millennia,” Remus mumbled from under his desk. Janus hadn’t been aware he was awake. “He said something something about it being the only time he could see the change of the millennia.” He turned his head to look at Janus. “Considering he’s a time traveler, that’s definitely a weird thing to say.”

“Millennia,” Janus contemplated. “A different turn of the millennia. Oh no.”

“What?” Lena asked.

Janus sighed, and rubbed his temple. “I know someone who studied the 1700-2200s.”

“Isn’t that good?”

“No,” Janus groaned, “because now I have to go talk to him.” He stood with a sigh and then paused. “How do I even get to Silver Mountains University without my timepiece?”

[beck-a-leck]

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

Tagged by @thychesters Thanks Kate!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

56 on my main page, plus 5 others that are secret (aka Anonymous and don't show up in the count)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

772,412

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

~10, I have a lot of sub-fandoms as part of a larger fandom. Including but not limited to: Star Wars, Story of Seasons/Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, MCU, and many moons ago Voltron, Transformers, and Harry Potter.

4. What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 1218

Aggressive Negotiations at 312

Wells of Silence at 287

[Redacted Anonymous fic] at 280

Weekend Guests at 209

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! Or at the very least, I try to respond to as many comments as I can. I love being able to strike up conversation with my readers, and wallow in angst with them for a while. At the very least, I like letting them know I appreciate their feedback.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm... that's probably the fic where I gave Anakin Skywalker an almost happy ending; twins, husband, you know the drill. And then I violently took pretty much all of that away. Killed Obi-Wan, killed the twins, left her with a heaping pile of survivor's guilt. That's probably my angiestiest fic.

But also, I write rather a lot of angst, so...

There's also the one where I gave a child 23 older sisters, and then had them slowly and painfully die off, leaving her alone as the sole survivor. (Star Wars)

And there's the one where I detailed how an 8 year old accidentally killed his brother, thus screwing up everything so badly, the whole timeline had to be erased. (Loki)

And, well, Wells of Silence IS a canon compliant AU. And we all know how Revenge of the Sith ends.

Writing angst is fun okay!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not really, no. Usually only when I'm messing around and being goofy, or if I'm combining a lot of sub-fandoms from a larger fandom group. But I don't really count those as true crossovers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nothing specific comes to mind. I'm pretty sure years ago (and I mean like well over a decade at this point) I got trolled/hate on a fic by someone who was out to attack me specifically. I remember deleting the fic, and beginning to distance myself from the fandom. but obviously it didn't stop me from writing so... jokes on them. 😂

Otherwise, more recently I can only think of instances where people have used my fic comments as an excuse to vent about canon things they hate thinking they'll find a sympathetic ear, or got 5+ chapters into a long fic before saying 'it feels unrealistic that this character would do these things' to which I'm pretty sure I just shrug and don't respond.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I don't really write fanfic smut, no. It's not really my thing, and I'm happy cutting things off at an M/PG-13 rating for sexy times.

That being said, I have written non-fanfic smut before. No I'll never share it. It is well and truly laughably terrible.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

To my knowledge, no I haven't.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Many, many, many years ago @jessi-08 and I co-wrote and absolute crack fic for Jak and Daxter. It was deliriously fun times. But in a more ""serious"" capacity, no I have not.

13. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Nobody? I guess?? I'm not much of a shipper, really. I enjoy reading and writing ship-content, but I've never really felt devoted to any single ship in any fandom. I'm a multi-shipper? Omni-shipper? Basically, if the fandom can bring its A-game to a ship, I'll probably quite enjoy it.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I mean, there are a couple dozen unfinished WIPs in my writing folder that I keep around with the intention of maybe finishing them, but deep down I never will. But also, none of those are posted.

Thinking of where I am and how my fandom interests have shifted, I'm probably never gonna finish Weekend Guests. And I stubbornly refuse to admit that Dust and Ashes is dead, but also, I haven't touched it in years, and kinda forgot what I wanted to include in the story. 😬

15. What are your writing strengths?

Oh gosh... (what is this question? I can't say nice things about myself)

I guess I would say my scene setting. I love spelling out descriptions and providing the sensory experience when I can in the scenery. Otherwise, probably my ability to sink my angst claws into people and hurt their feelings with words about fictional characters while I torture them worse than canon does (usually)

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Sticking to a goddamn regular posting schedule. I try not to get too wrapped up in writing regularly, so as to not punish myself for doing (or not doing) something that's supposed to be fun and relaxing for me. but damn I look at those WIPs that haven't been updated in months and I can't help but feel guilty.

Also, tied in with the above, starting too many projects before finishing up something else.

Also action scenes. and romance.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

It can work, I think, if it's done well. But usually, it's not done well, and it just feels clunky or tossed in for "spice." But like... pet names/nicknames in a native tongue, I am so weak for those! And it can also be a fun way to drop hints/foreshadowing, but as a bonus for the people who speak the language.

Idk, I'm not fluent enough in any language to feel like I have any definitive voice in the matter. I typically don't add other language dialogue because I don't trust google translate.

And if I'm writing for Star Wars, and it's an alien language anyways, I'm not digging that deep into the lore to construct a fictional language. That shit gets Universally Translated babey!

18. What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Jak and Daxter my beloved! I'll never let you go! Every five years or so, I'll spit out a new fic for you 💜

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh no! I can't pick favorites! Don't do this to me!

Wells of Silence still sits up in my top 5, for a number of reasons.

Another of my tops is actually one of my Anonymously posted fics, so I will not mention name or fandom, but it is very beloved.

And they've been on the forefront of my mind, so I've got a soft spot for Earth and Rebirth and Our Dear Empress

20. Who do you tag?

Hmmm, let's see. @durotoswrites, @jake-marshall, @lookforaspoopynewangle (I know kate tagged you, but consider yourself double tagged), @jessi-08, and... I have all of a sudden gone completely blank on which of my mutuals writes fic 😂😬 (i only slept for 3 hours last night. leave me alone. my brain is swiss cheese.)

As always, if you want to play along, you are more than welcome to say I tagged you!

[thejoshuaglenn-blog]

You're a Good Boy, Charlie Brown

The key purpose of a Tumblr blog here is really a brain dump: logging thoughts, feelings, narrative and such is easier in long form than via a brief Facebook post that generates half a dozen "oh no, what happened" comments. As I'm writing this, most of it seems like bullet points and organized timelines. If you're looking for a TL;DR or current state of thoughts, it's the last section titled The Day After, and the Day After That.

A few days ago, Niko and I said goodbye to our first dog, Charlie Brown.

I'm not keen to chat about it a lot. There's more to process than I have time to type; most of it centers around being fair to myself and to Niko, taking the time to appreciate his life without beating ourselves up, and avoiding the overwhelming mire that grief can become.

Joining the Family

CB was a rescue, a hapless victim of the 2016 Louisiana floods and a happy-go-lucky participant in a "dog for a day" event hosted by a local shelter. I fully expected to rent him out for a day, give him a few great experiences, and return him. For myriad reasons, we never did bring him back to Pet Rescue by Judy, and he's been with us ever since.

At adoption, he was estimated to be around 4-8 years old. With a kicked-in shoulder that offset his collarbone and ribcage, some assorted dental issues, and other little signs of damage (cigarette burns, what the heck is wrong with people), it was tough to really gauge his age. That means he left this world at the ripe old age of something like 9-13, which isn't terrible considering all he'd been through.

Charlie Brown was the iconic good boy. He seldom barked, he never licked or jumped, and just wanted to be in the same room as his favorite people. He had a few toys that he cherished, never ripping them up, just carrying them with him from room to room and whining a bit, unsure of where he could store them for safekeeping. Apart from some separation anxiety issues and an occasional urge to bolt out the door and book it as far as he could, CB was by all accounts an easy first dog: more like a low-effort cat than anything else.

Slowly Falling Apart

Over time, the health issues increased. Intermittent but predictably regular upset tummy. Bad gums, bad teeth. Random gooey skin lesion. Eye ulcers. Since October, we've been averaging 2-3 unplanned vet visits a month — many incurring some hefty bills. We'd take out another credit card, find another financing plan, but it adds up. So does the emotional toil on the family; so does the anxiety toll on the dog.

You start to think about quality of life for the dog, you know? He'd had a few teeth removed to sew up his gums after they kinda detached and fell apart from his jawbone — so he couldn't chew anything hard. Couldn't even chew a tennis ball, which was the only toy he took interest in anymore. Couldn't have any fun treats like peanut butter or other soft chews, as his tummy would have bad flare-ups that usually ended up with him attached to an IV bag. After finally settling in and learning to play well with Atlas, Charlie Brown started to get pretty irritable whenever Atlas got frisky.

He still loved running around outdoors, and was in otherwise great health.

I can't tell you how guilty that makes me feel, even now.

Moving to Waltham

Before we left Orlando, there were so many crisis moments in emergency vet offices where Niko and I talked about how long he could ride this roller coaster. CB obviously was not a fan of vet visits: loved the staff, but was notably anxious and panicky when separated from us, and he had grown very loathe to the process of poking, prodding, and whatnot.

Shortly after moving to Waltham (he was a champ in the U-Haul), Charlie Brown had a severe colitis flare-up. He was losing so much fluid and was growing very lethargic over the day. Vets are hard to get into these days: with the sweep of "pandemic puppy" adoptions, the vet industry as a whole is saturated with demand, and practices are responding as best they can. There were just no emergency clinics available to us within 20 miles, except one that noted "we have no availability, but you can come and wait, and we might be able to see you in 4 or 5 hours." So we did.

It was a very late night. Charlie Brown came home with us with another round of the same antibiotics he'd been taking almost regularly since December for his assorted ailments, and some probiotics. The next day, CB seemed a bit better and brighter, and Niko and I went into the city for part of the day. We came home to find he'd had an accident, but it was just... blood. So so much. And he looked so in pain, so ashamed, so guilty, so anxious.

So we went back to the vet ER. It was another very late night. I didn't know how many of these late nights we could afford; neither of us knew how many of these late nights it was fair to expect Charlie Brown to endure.

Do you plan on letting a pet go after an extended crisis visit? Do you plan on letting a pet go in a time of relative peace?

Camping Analogy, and a Best Last Day

When you're off on a long hike, and you see daylight start to fade as the sun begins to set, you begin to think about finding a good place to set up camp for the night. It's abysmal to do this after the sun has already gone down: where you could have had preparation and structure, you have chaos by flashlight.

A dog's life is in your hands. You're his whole world: all food, adventure, pampering, challenge, treatment, and care come from you. More than anything, we wanted Charlie Brown to have a peaceful, restful life. Now that we started thinking about it, we wanted to be able to give him a peaceful, restful passing as well: not as the climax of another overnight crisis with injections and yelps and beeps and cowering and anxiety and fear, but in the still quiet of familiar sounds and smells.

His very last day was a great one. Fresh Pond in Cambridge: a massive stroll around a colossal lake with an absurd bounty of new smells, kind people, happy dogs, and a brisk New England breeze. He got to swim in a little side pond — that boy lived for jumping into random lakes. He ran around the broad field that is Kingsley Bowl, chasing a thrown ball the very very farthest his sad pop could throw it — and he brought it back. We bought him a steak. We told him how much he brought to our lives.

And then we waited.

Lap of Love is a sort of home delivery service of dignified passing for pets. There's more to say on that hour than I care to pen, but throughout the procedure, we never left him. Charlie Brown passed enveloped in our arms and laps and sobs and hugs.

The Day After, and the Day After That

The rest is just thoughts. Your head starts to feel like a coffee shop where your grief comes in, sits at a table with you, and unloads. You nod, listen, and wish them well. I hope I can keep processing this way — I find it helpful, and less overwhelming.

I wish he had been able to play with his tennis ball more. Since his jaw surgery — even out on Kingsley Bowl, nearly a month and a half after he should have been fully healed — any kind of chewing would cause renewed bleeding and pain.

I wish we had hugged him more. But truth be told, he didn't like hugs. They made him uncomfortable. So we gave him a hand to lay his head on, or a knee for him to pop his head upon, as often as he liked.

There were so many times I felt inconvenienced by owning a dog at all. They weren't the majority, but... now each remembered time feels like a splinter of selfishness.

I miss how familiar the back of his neck felt under my hand, just behind the ears, where the waves of fur meet and crash and make a long cowlick of foof and fluff.

His happy smile and his stressed smile were very similar, but you could still tell which was which.

I loved being there for him in thunderstorms.

When you think about it, we sort of were hospice care for him. We weren't his original owners; we just wanted the rest of his life to be painless and fulfilling. He had so many trust issues when he first came to us. And in the end, he loved anyone he met.

I miss feeling around with my feet to make sure I don't step on him on my way to bed. I miss setting my feet on the floor as I wake, stooping down, and giving his head a good squishy rub.

He never did get to see Boston snow. I mean... thousands of dogs never get to see snow. But I was really looking forward to sharing that experience with him.

I wanted so badly to bring him to a point of health, and then say goodbye when he was feeling well. Seeing him have his Best Last Day, part of me whispered "murderer" with cold accuracy, and I have a hard time shaking it. He was so happy — but between jaw bleeding after playing with a tennis ball, seeing him scratch his eyes that were starting to ache with ulcers again... I know the unbridled happiness came with the reality of his declining health.

Atlas was the best thing that ever happened to that boy. I know Charlie Brown was at least a little disgruntled that his easy-going day-to-day had been interrupted by a chompy puppy, but Atlas brought out the young pup in CB: ripping palm fronds to shreds, playing tug, playing tag, meeting new dogs with confidence and assurance.

I used to get so mad at my mother-in-law for feeding Charlie Brown cinnamon donuts. I wish I'd given him more. Heck, I wish I'd given him more peanut butter. I'm frankly surprised he hadn't died of peanut butter overdose years ago.

Where Charlie's health had limits, we kept going with Atlas. That might mean taking Atlas out to play with a ball or a tug toy, because CB couldn't. It breaks my heart now to think of Charlie at the glass door just watching it happen, all because he physically couldn't play the same. I know he didn't understand that.

We took him out to Park Ave maybe once or twice. I wish it had been more. Truth be told, it was the same as the dog park, though: he was kind of a loner. Loads of people or dogs made him anxious. So while I might idealize the past and wish he had sat at our legs for lunch after lunch at an outdoor thoroughfare, ... I think he would have been miserable. I think he would have rather just curled up at the base of the couch and dozed while we watched a show.

He was so trusting. I could just drag him onto his back and onto my lap for cuddles and a good tummy rub. No complaints.

He looked so gaunt these past few months. I keep looking at earlier photos, and I really didn't realize just how grizzly and drawn he had become lately.

I miss seeing him randomly waiting for me outside the bathroom door — or curled up on the bath mat while I was in the shower, having sneakily nosed the door open and wanting my company while I was rinsing.

For his first few years with us, he was incredibly playful. I've been going through old videos — it's like going outside just blew his mind, and toys were either for cherishing daintily, or thrashing about and throwing to oneself and gnawing. He lost that after a time. He regained it a bit when Atlas joined the party. But it still faded. I'm sure that's inevitable, but it makes me sad to see the early vibrant puppy in those old recordings, and how different he had been in recent months.

[valiisthea]

Instructions: Always repost with the rules, answer the 11 random questions left for you and leave 11 more for the people you tag!

TAGGED BY: @tricksterreformed - thanks!​

TAGGING: @evilsded @goldxnwarriors @iscariotsdeputy @mcrningstxr @betterdcyz and honestly everyone who wants to do it. just say I tagged ya.

questions i’m answering

1. What did you do yesterday? - well, I mostly just worked. I watched a few really dumb horror movies while I was at it, because they entertain me to no end. After work I kind of just...went to sonic, got a route 44 drink because I was depressed, and then went to bed at 730 pm again, because I was depressed LOL

2. What are your favorite kinds of RP memes? (or if you hate rp memes, why?) - I actually love memes. Because I’m mobile 100% of the time, and a busy little bee, they’re SOOOO much easier for me to get around to answering. I like really angsty memes - the sentence prompt ones. The emoji prompts can be nice sometimes, but I feel like the sentence prompts really set the scene better.

3. When’s the last time you went on vacation? - Depends on what you consider a vacation! I rented a condo in Branson, MO about a month ago! I took the dogs with me and I got to visit my friend. I got a massage, and my friend and I went to an aquarium and a museum and explored the area. They live over that way, but apparently have not done a lot of the touristy things so we had a lot of fun being tourists. And I got to see dinosaur bones which are my favorite things ever in the entire world. I go on vacations frequently though, you’ll come to find. I usually take a small weekend trip at least once a month and then every few months I take a big trip.

4. Do you prefer writing narration or dialogue for your muse? (if you’re a multi, for the last muse you wrote a reply for). - For ANY of my muses, I always prefer writing narration. Dialogue is where I really struggle - capturing the voice of canon muses has always been tough for me. I try really hard, but I don’t often feel like I succeed.

5. Gut check! Are you hungry right now? - Nope! Just ate some breakfast :)

6. Are there any new fandoms you’re considering writing for? (or new OCs you’re thinking about writing?) - No new fandoms at the moment. I always have ideas for new OC’s. I’d like to add my latest OC to the blog but I’m pretty sure no one will play with him haha. His name is Lane and he scuba dives professionally and he’s a big freaking nerd. His FC is Mark Pellegrino. 

7. Do you prefer tea, coffee, or some third option? - of these options, definitely coffee. Iced coffee, to be exact. I am the most basic bitch the world has ever seen and I could drink about 688483 gallons of iced coffee. But I really am addicted to soda which is such a problem. 

8. Do you read or write fanfiction? - yes, both!

9. What’s something someone might assume about your muse before writing with you? ( for multis, pick a muse, any muse). - Hmm... I think a lot of people assume my muses sexualities sometimes. I have muses of all different kinds of sexualities and a lot of people tend to just assume otherwise and try and ship with me when it wouldn’t fit the character I’m writing.

10. Besides tumblr, do you have a go-to social media site? - yeah, Facebook admittedly. It’s where I get all of my information on rescues, keep in contact with my rescues, and all of my friends and family because I live hours and hours away from everyone I know and love (aside from my parents. They’re 20 mins from me).

11. What’s something you love about the RPC? - tbh there isn’t a lot to like about the RPC, let alone love. But, I do love the rare gems of people that are just so unconditionally sweet and so happy and want to write with you no matter what. Those people are truly amazing and their positivity is such a welcome change from the usual sea of jealousy, call outs, vague posts, and negative canceling nancies. The people who are here truly to make friends and to roleplay and not get involved in the ick that comes with it all, that’s the best thing. Making friends.

my questions for you

1. what is your favorite genre to write?

 2. what is one rule you cannot stand to have broken and will unfollow someone on sight? 

3. do you have pets? how many?

4. would you consider yourself more sympathetic, empathetic, or apathetic? 

5. do you have any plans for the weekend?

 6. what are your top three favorite fandoms in RPC?

7. if you could be any animal in the world, which would you be and why?

 8. how long have you been roleplaying? 

 9. Are there any muses you have been considering writing? Any particular reason why you haven’t picked them up yet?

10. someone says “treat yourself.” what is the first thing you do?

11. do you have an insatiable wanderlust, or are you quite content to stay within your bubble?

[hydra-collector]

Let Me Go: Chapter 8

Important news: Going to start a tagged page for this specific fic, it’s going to be over 30 chapters long (hopefully) and editing every chapter every time I post is getting harder. I’m still going to add links to each chapter for now, but it’ll be easier for anyone who wants to read it as well as me having everything in one place. There’s more posts in my queue, and I’m planning on reblogging posts to this blog more often, (opposed to not doing it at all) especially because I just hit 100 followers while my second blog has under 20. Reblogs will most likely be other people’s art and fanfiction, ask games, prompt games, and maybe something random here or there.

Whoops, didn’t mean to make that so long. You can go read the fic now, and if you didn’t read all that it’s fine too!

AO3 

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Pairings: Intrulogical

Characters: Logan Sanders, Remus Sanders

TW: suicide mention, homophobia, transphobia

Words: 725

Summary: morning and monumental moments in a relationship :3

Note: I apologize this chapter took so long to get out.

“I don’t wanna get up.”

“We have to, Re.”

“You’re so warm.”

Did he just...

Did he just sleep in the same bed with his partner for the first time?

He smiled and shimmied into his wheelchair, pulling the covers off of his partner, trying to get them up as well.

“Come back. I’ll murder your guinea pig.”

“No threats, especially ones you won’t go through with. You love Bin-Bin. Despite his dumb name.”

“Insulting me now?” They finally willed themself to stand up, kicking their legs over the side of the bed and trapping Logan in a hug before he could finish putting his shirt fully back on.

“No shirt until you apologize.”

“You just want me shirtless.”

“I still stand by the name Cannibal.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry for insulting the name Bin-Bin. Cannibal is far worse.”

“Hey!”

“I apologized, let me have my shirt!”

They fought over shirt and no shirt until Logan was able to pull it over his torso. They ended up laughing as Remus wheeled their boyfriend out into the hall, placing their hand on his shoulder tenderly.

“What are you two boys doing?”

Boys.

The word stung as Remus dropped their hand from their boyfriend’s shoulder.

“My son better not be in a relationship with you, Logan.”

“I told you, Mom, I have a girlfriend!”

“And I’ve yet to meet her.”

“She’ll be over soon, I promise.”

Remus sighed as she left, leaning against the wall.

“Is she always so suspicious?”

“Ever since I talked about not hating gay people. One time. She probably had a bad day yesterday, though. She’s usually at least a little more chill.”

“I’m sorry, Remus.”

“I’d give her a nice, big dick to wear for a day if I could. See how she feels.”

“You’re so wonderful, darling. And I’m so sorry I made her think-”

“Lo?” Remus began to smile, wide and genuine, “did you just call me a pet name?”

Logan’s cheeks burned, looking up at his partner’s pretty face.

“I- um, pet names aren’t my-”

“You did, Lo-Lo! You called me darling!”

“I, well, I guess I did.” Logan couldn’t help but smile and blush.

“I will remember this moment forever.”

“I- you don’t need to do that,” he thought for a moment, then grinned through his red cheeks, “love.”

“Oh my gosh.”

Now both of them were blushing, but Logan more so as Remus was bending down and kissing his face all over.

“What if your mom comes back?”

“You. Called. Me. Love.”

“It’s not that big of a deal!”

“Yes it is! Our super serious nerd has given me not one, but two pet names!”

“Your mother’s calling us for breakfast.”

“I’m not forgetting this moment.”

Their blushes subsided as Remus brought Logan down the stairs back into the kitchen. Likely the only reason Logan could come over after his attempt was because Remus had claimed it’d been an accident. Their mother and father would have deemed him ‘a bad influence’ and that would have been the end of their friendship (as far as their parents would’ve known).

“How does bacon, eggs and toast sound?”

Remus and Logan thanked her for the meal, stealing short glances at each other when she wasn’t looking. Logan supposed it was a bit fun, having a secret relationship. Less fun to see his partner repeatedly misgendered, but it did bring a bit of uncertainty.

Was that good?

Logan’s thoughts were interrupted as food was placed in front of him. Remus’s father called a goodbye to the group of them, heading off to his job.

“Your mother was going to pick you up, Logan?”

He wished he could spend the day in the city like he and his partner used to whenever they had a sleepover. Now, it would be too inconvenient. He wished none of this had happened. He supposed that was better than wishing he’d succeeded.

“Yes. She should be here in an hour or so.”

After breakfast, Remus and Logan played Minecraft with the time they had left. Logan paid back Remus’s sheep and diamonds as an apology, but made sure to kiss them an adequate amount anyway.

Both were disappointed when his mom arrived, but made a pact to text the rest of the day, along with a plan for tomorrow.

It would be Operation Roceit, stage two.

[expelliarmus]

I saw that ask meme with questions for gif makers going around, but I felt like answering them all on my own lmao

1. What are your top 3 favorite sets you’ve made

This one, this one (if the timing works lmao), and this one (I’m so proud of my AU gifsets... where did all that creativity go??)

2. What is your least favorite set you’ve made

I honestly don’t know... I don’t think I hate anything I’ve posted though. If I don’t like how it’s turning out, I just won’t post it lol

3. Which of your sets has the most notes

The most notes ever is this one I think

4. A set that flopped but deserved better

I don’t know... there’s a bunch, but I’m fine if a gifset flops

5. What is your favorite movie/TV show to gif

DOCTOR WHO

6. What is your least favorite movie/TV show to gif

I really don’t gif anything else lmao...

7. Who are your top 3 gif makers

I’ll just pick 3 people off the top of my head :) @shatner​, @melodyspond​, @stupidape​

8. What gif trend do you hate

The pale/black and white gifs that are so hard to see.......

9. What/who inspired you to start making gifs

I wanted to gif my favourite parts of DW that I didn’t see anyone else doing, so I was like alrighty, time to learn how to do this!! I think the people that inspired me are long gone from tumblr, or I’m no longer following them because they’ve moved blogs (Natasha aka lumos-maxima... wherever you are, I MISS YOU... also Courtney aka needlebug I MISS YOU TOO)

10. What was the first gif you ever posted

THIS ONE! I remember being so happy about posting it, haha. Also, I still love that Confidential episode so much. I miss my space hipsters...

11. What is that one set you made that just won’t die

The Zoboomafoo one

12. What is the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever giffed

Everything I’ve ever posted

13. Where or from whom did you learn how to gif

Various tutorials on here and just by experimenting. I don’t even think I used Photoshop to begin with, since back in my Neopets days I used Paint Shop Pro to make graphics so I think that’s what I used first to try making gifs of videos.

14. How long does it usually take you to make a set

45 minutes to an hour or so?? It’s been taking longer and longer because the screencaps are so huge though and my poor laptop can’t handle it.

15. Have you ever had gifs stolen and reposted

Yes, and don’t think that I can’t tell when those are my gifs, even without a watermark!!

16. How long have you been making gifs

Since 2011...... my god

17. 10 sets, 8 sets, 6 sets? How many gifs to you prefer in a set

As many as it takes!!!!! But usually between 6-8

18. For the aesthetic, for the laughs, or for the feels what your preference

For FUN!

19. What is your gifting process like

Open video, find scene, screencap, load screencaps in Photoshop, resize to gif dimensions, add colouring, curse myself for picking a hard-to-colour scene, continue adjusting colouring and become increasingly frustrated because it’s not turning out the way I want it to, give up, add text, save gif, POST!

20. Mac or PC

PC

21. PSDs or original coloring for each gif

Original colouring. PSD who???

22. What fandom/movie/show/person etc do you gif the most

DOCTOR WHO and more specifically, David Tennant... I think his tag has the most :’)

23. What is the thing you gif when you don’t have anything else you want to gif

Any episode with Ten and Donna, or The Eleventh Hour, or the Day of the Doctor, or Blink

24. 480p 720p 1080p? What is the minimum quality you’ll gif from

I used to be all good with giffing 480p back in the day, but I guess now it’s 720p since the gif limits have gone way up.

25. Old dimensions or new dimensions and why

New dimensions because they look nicer on the dashboard.

26. How many un posted sets are in your drafts right now

ZERO.

27. Have you ever made a set, decided you hated it and deleted it? What was it

Probably at least one or twice, but I don’t remember.

28. Have you ever posted a set, regretted it and immediately deleted it

No, I don’t think so. I’m leaving my mistakes there for all to see!

29. Have you ever posted a set, realized you made a mistake later but it was already too late

Yes, I did this just the other day with that Missy, Bill and Nardole set. I got the dialogue slightly wrong lmao..... shh

30. How frequently do you like to post

I try to do at least one gifset a day if I can!

31. Do you schedule/queue posts or do you post right after you’re done

Right away. These gifsets are fresh off the grill.

32. What is your favorite tool/adjustment layer in Photoshop

Selective Color or Color Balance

33. Do you like to/can you make edits and graphics too or only gifs

Yes, I can do both but gifs are way more fun imo

34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out

I’m gonna say this one again because I was so proud of it when I made it, and I can’t believe I used to put that much effort into my gifs.

35. Do you change your giffing style a lot or do you have a set routine

I have a routine, as described above. My gifs are pretty much all made the same way as I describe in my colouring tutorial too.

36. Do you gif with something specific in mind or do you just wing it

Usually a mixture of both. I like to try to gif a different Doctor each day, so I’ll know who I have in mind but I’m not planning on a specific episode. I’ll just open up one of their series and go from there!

37. What sets if any do you have planned to make in the future

Idk, I was thinking of doing yet another gifset with Donna in it since I just finished her Big Finish series... but maybe I’ll do one with Eleven and the Ponds??? We’ll see.

38. What are you really excited to gif that isn’t out yet

The next Doctor Who holiday special?? :D

39. How often, if ever, do you delete old sets that you don’t like anymore

Never!! I love seeing how my gifs have slowly changed and improved over time.

40. Why do you make gifs

Because it’s fun, and it’s a way for me to relax after a long and busy day at work.

41. What is your least favorite part about your gif making process

When it takes forever for my screencaps to load, and when it takes forever for my gifs to save sometimes

42. How is your gif folder organized? Is it organized at all?

Lol nope.

43. Do you keep videos forever or delete them once you’re done giffing

I keep the episodes forever, but honestly I think I keep everything forever because I forget about getting rid of the other stuff like trailers and interviews... I should go through my downloads folder.

44. Ever had a gif become a meme? Would you like that if you haven't

I’ve had people use my gifs as reaction gifs and it is a weird feeling, especially seeing the gifs being used on websites other than tumblr. I remember seeing one of my gifs used in someone’s book review on Goodreads and I was like “WAIT THAT LOOKS FAMILIAR!!”

45. Ever gotten hate over a set

Not really hate, but I do get a lot people that are like “WHERE IS ______?” in their tags. And sometimes I just want to be like “Make your own gifs if you think they should be there!!!”

46. Ever gotten a really sweet compliment over a set

Yes :’)

47. Any advice for novice gif makers/people who want to start making gifs

Don’t give up!! Make gifs of whatever makes you happy, don’t worry about the notes too much, and use your tags! KEEP PRACTICING!

48. How would you describe your giffing style

I don’t know??? If someone else has a way to describe my style, then please let me know haha

49. How much would you say you’ve improved since you first started giffing

It’s been almost 9 years since I’ve started, so I hope I’ve improved quite a bit! :P

Well, that was fun. Congrats on making it to the end of this post!!! Now I will go make a gifset.

[jamielea81]

A Walk in the Park

Chapter 2

Description: When your husband dies in an accident, you try to move on with your life. When the memories of your shared home become too much even after two years, you make a drastic change and move to California. A new career, a new way of life, and an attractive new friend help you move on to find the happiness you need. *This will be a slow burn*

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings for this chapter: A curse word or two, an annoying boss, fluff.

Unbeta’d, so all mistakes are my own. This is purely for fun. Comments and reblogs are always appreciated. Tagging those who wanted to see a second chapter. @flamencodiva @the--blackdahlia @angelus320 @deanwinchesterswitch @thefandomzoneisdangerous

Read Chapter 1 Here

“Y/N!” A shrill voice called from two rooms away. You groaned inwardly but sighed outwardly and plastered a tight smile on your face. You excused yourself from the kitchen staff and walked quickly to the ballroom passing staff carrying various sized flower arrangements, many of which would be sent back once Colleen saw them. Everything was always over ordered and then returned for one reason or another. Your flats pounded the ground with urgency. You learned by day two that heels would not do. While you rather be wearing sneakers or at least a pair of Keds, fancy flats were the most you could get away with. Your two pairs of black heels would be reserved for event nights where dresses and the occasional skirt and blouse were acceptable. If you were being honest, you truly were a barefoot or sandal girl. Feet curled up on the couch with a book in your hand, that was the life. That was your former life back in Minnesota when you worked Monday through Friday and were off work by 5. Now most nights you were busy and forget about weekends. 

“Yes, Colleen? How may I help you?” You asked with that same tight smile on your face. Colleen was your boss’s boss. Your actual boss, Victoria, who you adored was extremely busy so you rarely saw her. She was sweet and loved your ideas. Often encouraging you to come up with idea boards to help you with future events that she was confident you would be taking the lead on in no time. Colleen should really be behind a desk making sales and the rare appearance for approvals, but that’s not how she operates. She likes to take a hands-on role which is good in some aspects but, she’s too much.

“Ah, Y/N, there you are. I’ve been calling you for an hour.” It was not an hour. You just saw her 15 minutes ago. “I need to see the menus again for the Mayor’s Ball on Thursday”

“I was just meeting with the chef going over the changes you suggested.” Grabbing your phone out of your crossbody bag, you opened an e-mail, typed in Colleen’s address, and attached the updated menu, all before she had a moment to respond. “Just sent you the updated menu.” You looked up to see a questionable look on her face. She didn’t know what to say; you had beat her to the punch after only working for her for a little over two months.

“Ah, wonderful, Y/N. Now, where are those new flower arrangements I ordered?”

You gestured to the hall with your hand and followed her out. It was going to be a long two days before the event.

 It had been a week and a half since you met Chris. He hadn’t sent a text but neither had you since your response that first night. You had typed out maybe 20 responses, several included dog emojis. You settled on a smiling emoji. Ugh, why are you so awkward?

You continued with your nightly walks, often heading in different directions. Always keeping an eye peeled for an adorable dog on the loose. Victoria had suggested hiking in Runyon Canyon with her on Sundays, but you just frankly haven’t had the energy. Working 6 days a week most weeks and various hours of the day and night, walking in your neighborhood was all you could handle at the moment.

Finishing off your walk, you jogged to the back of the house seeing the Smiths enjoying a glass of wine on the patio. “You two look cozy.”

“How was your walk? James asked. Arm stretched around Connie’s shoulder as they sat on the patio loveseat.

“It was really nice. I’m loving this weather.” They both nodded. “I’m heading up. Have a goodnight.” Your head tilting up towards the staircase.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” Connie said.

Unlocking your door, you quickly changed into your pjs which consisted of an old pair of gray sweats and a white V-neck t-shirt. It was already after 8, more like closer to 9, as you worked later tonight running errands for Colleen. Tomorrow would be last minute prep for the next night’s Ball. You were exhausted. Falling asleep while on Facebook reading, about the adventures of friends and family back home. You’d finish commenting tomorrow when you weren’t dead to the world.

 It was 11 in the morning and you still haven’t had your coffee. The people here don’t seem to understand that you can’t do life without coffee. Cursing the Colleens and interns of the world for causing you to run around like there’s no tomorrow, you took a deep breath, plastered on a smile and ran to the fabric store once more. You’d hit up the Starbucks drive thru on the way back, yeah, that’s what you would do. Exchanging the Royal Blue fabric for the True Blue fabric because the color had more “umph” you were on your way back to your car. Your phone dinged, most likely Victoria or Colleen checking in. Most likely Colleen asking for lunch even though the interns are at her disposal. Dropping the bundles in the back seat and plopping yourself in the front seat of your sedan, you pulled your phone out of your purse. “Oh, it’s from Chris.” Clicking on the message you were both excited and nervous. Part of you didn’t think he would actually message you again.

“Hey, Y/N. Checking to see if you’re free Friday for game night. It’ll be low key, maybe 7 of us.” Friday, you could do Friday. You’d be off early with only the cleanup from the Ball and dropping off the items that are kept for the next event in the storage unit. You would be tired and maybe not the best of company, but you weren’t working Saturday.

“Hey Chris! Yeah, Friday works. Let me know what time and where. Say hi to Dodger for me.” Hi to Dodger? Really Y/N? At least you didn’t add a dog emoji. Waiting a few minutes with no response from Chris, you put your phone away and set your course for the nearest Starbucks.

 You were at the park again after walking a little more than a mile. Since you started the day at 6 in the morning, Victoria told you to go home at 5. Victoria said she would handle Colleen if she asked for you. This is why you love Victoria. The park wasn’t as empty today as it normally was. You sat on the grass listening to the chatter from other people in the distance who sat around the fountain. You had slipped off your shoes and enjoyed the feel of the green grass on your toes. Your phone dinged and saw that it was a message from Chris with an address and telling you to come around 7. You replied back with a picture of the fountain and told him that you’d see him Friday. He sent a reply asking if you’d be at the park much longer. You said you’d hang around for a bit and waited for his reply. After about 15 minutes, enough time to reply to those Facebook posts and pictures, you were being attacked with slobbery kisses from Dodger. Laughing and using your hands to shield your face you looked up to see Chris in front of you. Sans hat this time. God he is beautiful. Wearing a pair of beat up jeans and a gray graphic tee that fit in all the right places. Is everyone this pretty in LA? “Dodger, that’s enough. Come on boy.” He said while gently tugging the leash and flashing a smile.

“It’s OK. I had a dog when I was kid so I am totally used to it.”

Chris plopped himself on the ground next to you. Dodger doing the same. “No dog now?”

“No, I’m renting a studio.”

“Why a studio? The market’s slowed down, it would be a great time to buy.” He asked.

“Well, Mr. Evans, moving across the country and not really knowing what area of the city I wanted to reside in permanently, buying didn’t seem like the smart choice at the time.”

“So, you do know who I am.” Smirk resting on his face.

“Guilty.” You blushed. “Kind of got into the Marvel movies a few years back. That Robert Downey Jr. is pretty wonderful.”

Chris scoffed, placing a hand on his chest pretending to be mortally wounded with your words. “I see how it is.” He said with a wide smile.

You let of a small laugh and nodded. “I like this area though. Not sure I can afford it, but I am thinking about it. I’m going to wait a bit to decide. The ocean calls to me, but that would put a damper on my commute.”

“Beach houses are great. Kind of a pain to keep up, but I know the appeal. How does the ocean call to a Midwesterner?”

“Grew up around boats. Land of 10,000 lakes dontcha know.” You said adding in that fake Fargo accent that is often mistaken for Minnesotan.

“That’s right, that’s right. Well, will have to make a trip to the ocean some time. A buddy of mine has a good-sized boat. We usually go out in the summer once or twice.”

Um, am I making future plans with my new best friend already? Play it cool, play it cool Y/N. “Yeah, that would be fun, I might have to take you up on that.” You replied. “So, what kind of games are we playing Friday?”

“We usually start with the easy ones like Life or Sorry. After a few adult beverages we switch to card games like Presidents and Assholes.”

“No way! You know that game too? I used to play that in college.”

“We have ringer? I know who’s on my team.” He said pulling you into a side hug. You laughed and started to play with the blades of grass.

“Well, I’m looking forward to it then. I do have to warn you that I may be a little tired. We have a big event tomorrow night and I have been running raged all week.”

“Noted.” He replied making a mock check mark with his finger. He started to get up and you started to put your sneakers back on. “I’ll let you get back home since you have a busy day tomorrow.”

“Thanks for stopping out. It was great to see Dodger again.” You said with a wink.

“You wound me again! I’m starting to regret this game night invite.”

“Okay, okay, I take it back. Scouts honor.” You replied with a little bit of a salute. Chris gave another smile.

“Good luck tomorrow Y/N.”

“Thanks, Chris. Bye Dodger.” With that you headed out of the park towards home.

You just needed to get through tomorrow and then you could finally breath this weekend.

Chapter 3

[blueandgoldoffice]

None of my Asks are showing up and it's starting to make me upset..

Good morning, dear

Today is your lucky day; you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes tour of how things run at the Blue and Gold!

Hi! I’m Mother Maple - I’m Canadian, and I’m a mother. 

It’s just after 0800 here where I live in Northern Alberta (side note- when is the snow going to melt? It’s been on the ground for six months and three days, people. I’m over it) and my husband, recently returned from his third deployment and/or training mission in the last year and a half, has just gone to work. 

I’ve fed him and packed his lunch, and now I have to contend with the fact that my house is in complete chaos because there is army crap EVERYWHERE. (Seriously, they teach them how to be tidy in basic training, so why does my house look like a kit bomb went off in it every time he comes back from a trip?)

My high-needs toddler is still sleeping, thanks to daylight savings time, but he’ll be up soon and demanding breakfast. He will not stop eating until he goes to bed. And he likes his veggies and fruit chopped. (Already have a savings account devoted to feeding him as a teenager, heaven help me.)

Once he has his first protein fix of the day, he’ll be unstoppable. He makes Taz look lazy - and the mess he’ll make will make my husband’s army chaos look like dropped coffee next to an Atlantic oil spill. His current obsession is Lego, and boy is he good at it, but if he can’t find that one block that he needs, he will dump that entire bucket of Lego on the carpet and burrow like a Niffler until he does. 

At some point, I should probably eat something too.

 Pyjamas aren’t exactly day wear, either. 

Keeping my kitchen clean is something of a pipe dream at this point, but I should make an effort at that. I ran out of plates one day last week and it was not pretty. 

Oh, and Monday is laundry day - and one would think that wearing a uniform to work lessens the load but it actually triples it. Fun fact.

My next-door-neighbour recently had a hip replacement, so I’m taking turns with some of the girls to do her shopping. Hubby took the car to work, so I’m taking Shank’s pony to the shops. I’m also taking my kid, who likes to browse. 

So that’s just my morning and I won’t bore you with the rest of my day but you get the gist. 

Jandy has kids, too. And a full-time job. I would imagine that her kids, who are older and who outnumber mine, wear more clothing and eat more food. They probably tidy up after themselves though, so she does have that going over me. K is equally busy.

Recently I made a post on my own blog that mentioned that my therapist has put strict time limits on how much time I can devote to fandom - that is reading, commenting and blue-and-golding. I max out at one hour, but we prefer 45 minutes.

So - how we answer asks. I mostly dabble in lost fics, which are pretty straight forward. We either know them or we don’t. If we do, we link them up and put them in the queue. (We queue all of our asks because some days we have a productive fit and answer twenty all at once, and some days we don’t find anything and there’s really no need to publish evidence of our ineptitude all over Tumblr.)

If we don’t - well that’s when it gets fun. Obviously, our first step is a filter search. For example, we recently queued up an ask looking for a fic in which Jughead is a firefighter etc. I happened to know it off the top of my head, but it was well tagged so even if I didn’t know it, it would have come up under a simple ‘bughead’ ‘firefighter’ search.  (@transparentpicklezonklover your ask is queued)

Now, if it hadn’t been well tagged, we would have had to turn to Google which is sometimes a real pain in the back end. Per the firefighter ask, I would have searched ‘ao3 Jughead firefighter auction’ and received a whole lot of Captain America fic for my troubles. But no matter! We persevere, putting stranger and stranger combinations of words into that little search bar until it finally cracks and gives up its secrets. 

My record is six days of searching for a single fic. I saw it in my dreams. It was behind my eyelids every time I blinked. I even asked my husband, who wouldn’t know Bughead if he walked in on them in the bunker, if he’d read it.

Of course, sometimes we just can’t find it and we put it out to the audience, and someone invariably links it within three-point-five seconds, making us question just how inevitable our obsolescence is. (Just kidding, I actually love the community aspect of it and I feel all warm and fuzzy when people help us out.)

So. Your most recent ask is looking for Jughead visiting Hal in jail. It’s not a lost fic, but the principle will be more or less the same because I don’t know any off the top of my head. Which means searching for them - and filtering out all the FP in jail fics that come up first. I or one of the other mods will read, or at least skim, dozens of prison fics that come up on google (ao3 search has failed us, alas) to see which Riverparent is in jail (honestly though, they should all be in jail) and if Jughead or Betty does the visiting. Betty visits FP and Hal a lot, so we have to weed through quite a few. 

You sent your ask on Friday, and this follow-up yesterday. You gave us less than two days to answer an ask that will take literal hours to complete - when we already have 20 other asks in our inbox that were there first. 

I will also add that I posted this last time you were in our inbox decrying our delay in answering your asks. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt as a new blog, and took it as a teaching moment. 

You should also read this post that Jandy recently made on the same subject.

We will not respond to any further follow-up asks of this nature - particularly not from empty side blogs that seem to exist for the sole purpose of side-stepping our no-anons rule. 

If anyone truly believes that their ask has been lost - and we’re talking weeks of inactivity - please feel free to follow up (especially if you can provide more detail on which we thrive like ladybugs love aphids). We are here to help, and we don’t want to leave anyone out if it can be avoided. 

But, as I’ve said before, we are humans. We are not bots, and we only have so much time to devote to this. Please give us patience.

~MM

[murfeelee]

♡ Simblr Questions ♡

I saw these questions reblogged here, and I’m killing time again, so....

1) Which is your favorite Sims Expansion?

TS1: Makin Magic | TS2: Apartment Life & Night Life | TS3: Supernatural

2) How long have you been playing sims?

19 effing years. *pours another shot of Pepsi*

3) Do you have any favorite simblrs?

One of the very first simblrs I ever followed was Kosmokhaos. They’ve been wowing me since their days at Cstyles, and I’ve been in love with their style & creativity. So. Yeah.

4) How would you describe your gameplay?

Derivative and sporadic. I'm almost always inspired by fandoms -- shows I watch, other games I play, and things I’ve read. I bounce around regularly, and my gameplay reflects that -- one week I’m doing this, and the next week I’m doing that. I might not return to something for months or even years. Who knows. Welcome to my crazy.

5) What made you want to create a simblr?

I was lurking Momosims’ blog for CC, and TSR was getting on my nerves. So I killed 2 birds with 1 stone -- I was able to follow Momo, and post my CC conversions without needing to follow some other site’s rules and whatnot.

6) What is your favorite Sim age?

Young adult, of course. The Sims is just not optimized for the younger & older ages, despite there being an entire expansion pack dedicated to them. It’s ridiculous.

7) Do you use cheats when you play Sims?

8) What is your favorite thing about the Sims?

I was drawn to The Sims 1 because I love interior decorating, and when I was younger I was obsessed with architecture & design. My favorite part of simming is building lots. I only create CC cuz I’m often frustrated by the lack of objects I want to see in my sims’ homes. And I effing HATE making CC.

9) What is your least favorite thing about the Sims?

I'm strongly influenced by fanciful genres, so I am most interested in things from different time periods, cultures, religions, etc. And that’s like the least represented theme in the community. I wish more simmers would get into fanciful gameplay, particularly more content creators. The more simmers who play that way, the more we can influence EA to stop making boring AF packs about the same ole boring generic predictable stuff.

10) What expansion pack are you hoping for next?

The first TS4 EP to even marginally interest me was Seasons, cuz they added more holiday stuff than TS3 did. And they had that Day of the Dead patch, which was COOL. I hope they’ll keep including more holidays and festivals like that - give the Sims some multiculturalism, EA, dang. This franchise is so Westerncentic Californiacentric it makes me wanna puke.

City Living is a step in the right direction - I love the boho Asian-ish thing they added -- too bad it was in a weak AF half-baked EP where the “city” was just distant terrain. It’s mess like that that makes me nervous to even ask for a more fanciful EP like Medieval times or Steampunk, cuz the game engine's so dang limited. There's no horses, cars, or any transportation -- so how can we have knights? Or a live-in dirigible? Or dragon riders? How can we have mermaids or Pirates of the Caribbean or Chinese junk ships when sims can’t even swim in the frikkin ocean? Expand on THAT, EA. Ugh!

11) Do you like to play the Sims in the morning or at night?

Whenever I have free time.

12) Do you have a aesthetic for your Sims?

It depends on the gameplay. I TRY not to make my sims look too pudding, but I don't use reshade and HQ mods and any of that fanciness, so.... :\

13) What are your favorite Sim names?

14) What is your favorite Sim Career?

The Ghost Hunter from AMB, and the Magician from SHT.

15) What is your favorite Sim World?

Shang Simla, as always~!

It’s just so effing gorgeous -- the misty mountains and the DRAGON cave and the colors and the culture and the foliage and just everything about it. World Adventures was freaking awesome.

16) Do you prefer small or large Sim houses?

Larger houses tend to not have as many routing issues, plus you can add more clutter in them! I’m a cc-holic, okay.

17) Do you prefer more modern or traditional Sim houses?

Traditional. Which is ironic, cuz one of my 2 main gameplays is my Nagron couple, and they live in a modern home in freaking Starlit Shores. :P

But I chose that cuz this is how I play TS3 the “straight” way (LOL!) -- I took my Spartacus sims out of their original medieval-ish save, and integrated them into a modern AU. So the fun for me is how I imagine these 73 BC characters would live in today‘s time. (Which is why I use Nagron for all the OC prompts & questionnaires I do, too).

18) What is your favorite Sims Challenge / Prompt?

The Simblreen photo challenge -- I always look forward to seeing what simmers come up with; Simblr turns into Halloween Town, and I love it.

19) What Sim emotion would you most often be?

Asleep.

20) What is your favorite skill to level up?

Spellcasting.

21) Describe your favorite Sim.

I’ll just direct y’all to my Nagron Page, cuz I describe Nasir all the time. :P

22) What kind of computer do you play Sims on?

As of Nov 2017, a Windows 10 Dell laptop. Before that I was on a HP Vista laptop, which I sorely miss.

23) Do you use Mods in your game?

YES

24) How many hours of Sims do you think you have played?

Thousands. Mostly spent in Build/Buy mode. :P

25) What are you planning to do next in the Sims?

I have some conversions I’m working on, a few requests I took, some lots I want to get started on, some gameplay pics I need to finish, and just a bunch of simming!

I’m just so tired & low energy right now. But this is my last couple of months of free time I’ll have before I go to grad school in the fall, so I want to get as much done as possible. *sigh* I’m stressed.

I tag everyone!