#i should have taken this as a sign
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i am going to fight god this fine monday morning because that fucker seems to have it out for me and it’s not even ten am
#i’m venting in the tags be warned#so basically#i wake up with a craving for kolaches and a cakeball from [local donut shop] bc their kolaches are top teir#however due to the logistics of living in a four person house with a two car garage in which everyone has their own car#my car is in the garage with two cars parked on the driveway behind it#i should have taken this as a sign#i did not#now at this moment i was the only one at home out of bed#and i didn’t want to make anyone get up to help me move cars around#and i don’t entirely trust myself with my brothers car anyway#but my mothers car was free!!#so i got dressed and went to her with a proposition:#if she would allow me to take her car to [local donut shop] i would bring her back whatever she wanted#she agreed so off i went#braving the monday morning traffic on the Main Road between me and kolache heaven#only to arrive at [local donut shop] and see a sign on the door#announcing that they would be closed for the week bc fourth of july#so now. i am tired. i am hungry. i am driving a car that i don’t like to drive. and my kolache dreams have been dashed#but!! there is another donut shop!! a local chain that also carries kolaches!!#sure they aren’t as good as local donut shops. but they’ll do in a pinch#local donut chain is as also closed this fine morning#i return home empty handed#accepting my fate of yet another day of egg and toast for breakfast#as i am preparing said egg and toast#i see my latte cup (the one i use every morning) in two pieces on the counter#so now here i am. with a sad latte-less egg breakfast#wearing clothes that are not currently comfortable#ranting on tumblr dot com to make myself feel better
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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guys “sam used to be Angry At The World For No Reason but then he changes for the better” is a horrible lie enabled by the narrative and by dean. one of the saddest in fact. ask yourself why sam was angry and why/when he stopped being angry and whether his eventual lack of anger truly benefited him or not.
#your anger at being taken advantage of/mistreated is healthy!!!!!!!!!!!!!#I used to have to explain this to incompetent managers#that their employees’ anger at them wasn’t a sign of Ungratefulness or Wrong Attitude That Needs Correcting#but in fact a sign that they still cared abt their workplace and their coworkers enough to honestly express their complaints#when ppl are treated so badly for so long that their anger drains away that’s when you’ve lost them.#if you’re angry you believe that you can and should be treated better#if you’re no longer angry you’ve lost all hope of that happening or you’re too burnt out to care abt anything anymore#anyway I wish ppl would stop spreading this common misconception abt the show in the tags of my posts </3#tag vomit#fandom mythbusting
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The Sign is only at the halfway point of its narrative and just did an entire episode of filler…concerning.
#i can’t really say it’s off the rails because it was never really on them#but that episode was truly pointless#it wasn’t even fun filler it was just boring#and right at the point where the narrative pacing should be ramping up#maybe they should have taken the holiday week off after all and taken another pass in the editing booth#the sign the series#thai bl#shan shouts into the void
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Tomorrow Is Election Day And I Am So Fucking Stressed
#marzi speaks#marzivents#hi folks. i haven’t been making much art lately. apologies! i want to be#unfortunately shit is Stressful in both my little world (i’m starting to get overwhelmed with my meds and refills and driving)#and on a broader more societal scale (if trump gets re-elected shit is going to go so fucking bad oh my god)#PLUS we’re in the It Gets Dark At 6PM Zone now#i think i’ve lowkey been catastrophizing a bit with all that’s been going on#i should probs look into those psych referrals my doctor gave me#she offered them bc the almost-dying earlier this year was Traumatic and i was showing signs of anxiety/depression#but i think they’ll just be helpful in general#god though i hate being on prescriptions. it feels like there’s a constant timer hanging over my head#refill these pills before this time so you don’t have to miss a day. woops! the pharmacy’s out of stock on this one#so you’ll have to come back at another less convenient time. fail to do so and the medication goes on hold#which requires a phone call where you speak to a Robot that may not understand the nuances of ur situation#grrrgh it sucks so bad. thankfully i refilled my prednisone the other day and have like 3 months’ worth now#and that’s the one i really can’t afford to miss bc steroid withdrawals could really fuck me up#but uggghhh i hate it. so much. bc it looms over me always#i hate keeping track of when i’ve taken my pills too. i keep a checklist for every day#so i remember what i have to take and if i’ve taken it#but god it sucks. i’m at the point where it’s basically routine now so i do it automatically#but i know if i stop monitoring i’m gonna forget if i’ve taken my steroid one day#and either double dose or skip the day. and that’ll fuck me up pretty good#anyways. hoping hoping hoping this election goes well bc idk if i can take it if our country tis of thee elects the fucking fascist#this one’s fine to rb. i think many of us share this sentiment lmao
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I'd ask if this was a sign of mental illness but one of them doesn't have a perfect chain...
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WE WERE DEF CALLING OUT MR JAMES ALLEN WHITE BS!! 😡😡😡
This production crew is so deeply unserious with the way they're being I feel like they're approaching almost SPN level of fucking with fan's minds. Because if Carmy and Syd's level of emotional intimacy/ reliance on each other to fulfill deep-seated self-fulfillment goals is strictly PLATONIC, all I have to say to the writers/cast is:
#sydcarmy#the bear fx#the bear hulu#the bear#they HAVE to be lying to us otherwise this is some unmatched level of clownery on television#galaxy brain clownery - alpha beta omega clownery- no hope for humanity clownery- hell is hot clownery 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡#sydney and carmy#carmen x sydney#jeremy allen white#ayo edebiri#carmen berzatto#sydney adamu#IF IT'S JUST PLATONIC THEN SHOW US THAT- DON'T JUST SAY IT AFTER HAVING YOUR CHARACTERS' DYNAMICS LOOKING ROMANTIC AF🗣#i feel like they should just dodge questions on romance entirely than to look so foolish because the story beats between carmy and syd:#are currently trodding on some very well worn signs of a slow burn romance#jaw: “she is his peace- but just platonically though” - man stfu 😭#i thought we'd have evolved past this sleepy hollow bs- but if what they're saying is meant to be taken at face value- i guess not 😔
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Talking to [leftist/socialist/progressive/whatever] white people as a brown girl is always an experience
#🐈⬛⚜️#A couple weeks back I was stopped by these uni students who were promoting a convention and advocating for Palestine#I was really sad and tired then so I was like sure. let's chat#I signed a petition and began talking to these 2 girls#One was a white girl. the other wasn't. could not pinpoint her background though#Anyways. we talked about the state of the world and Palestine and how the US and by extension the Western World has failed them#(which is a topic of its own because the Western World did not 'fail Palestine' they literally wanted this annihilation to happen#and have been an active participant in it)#And I pointed how ultra rich Arab countries have completely turned a blind eye to it but poorer countries such as Yemen. Lebanon have#been doing so much. despite their own vulnerable position#And this girl said but they're still not doing enough. they could lend military help#I was just disappointed because it doesn't take more than 15 seconds to realise why a regional war is not the solution#By virtue of wanting justice. I would want the IOF to be blown up too but that's not the solution#simply because the casualties will be the civilians of all of these countries and we cannot put millions of people at risk#And she kept telling me about how they're a socialist group. and she was also kind of taken aback by how much thoughts I had about this?#They're having a convention on Socialism and co (social issues. Marxism and all that jazz) next month and that I should consider cominv#Then she hit me with 'The entry is only $90' and there's a student bundle where you can get a book and a tote bag#Honestly funny as shit#And she kept insisting I should buy the book. it was 'Introduction to Marxism' I believe#I did not know how to tell her that I did not want to read that. and even if I did I would just pirate the Communist Manifesto#Anyways. interesting experience and it did make me focus back on how different Brown Leftists and white leftists are#I like to give them grace because it's hard to know context and history and social rules about somewhere you haven't lived or grown up#But I do believe if you're advocating for another group of people. you need to learn and understand first and foremost#I actually don't know what to make of that whole interaction tbh
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Aaaaaaaa tattoo???????????? Maybe??????
#I reached out to a tattoo artist last night and she got back to me this afternoon#and I’m !!!!!!!!!!#I’ve never gotten this far#I’ve just dreamt about it for years#and never actually taken the next step#and I haven’t like booked an appointment or anything#but I’ve contacted her and confirmed her books are open and she would be interested and on my basic description about what price range#holy shit#my whole chest tightens up and I like panic response any time I think about it#and my friend had to sit on the phone and encourage me to hit send on the email#and I don’t know if that’s a sign I should just not do it but also I’ve wanted one for so long but do I actually or just the idea of one????#but also!!!!! I’ve had so many fucking god damn needles in my life#it would be kinda nice to finally have some that I CHOOSE#anyway!!! maybe getting a tattoo this winter????#maybe????#I haven’t booked or anything yet but#I rlly like her art style and her books are open during the window I’m home#idk how to navigate this around my mom while I’m home but#I think I’ve almost settled on a black line cecropia moth on my upper inner left arm#anyway I’m freaking out and I can’t tell if the terror out ways the excitement or what I’m actually afraid of#I’m not gonna get it before thanksgiving for sure bc that’s too much attention for the once a year we’re all together#and if I wait until mid December then my sibling will be home to go with me too tho Ik my friend would go with me if he’s home too#but anyway anyway anyway anytime I think abt this for longer than a few seconds my brain shuts down and I can’t breathe so#first I gotta parse what that reaction means#Im a rambling sam
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ok this is unprompted but if you pride yourself on being the reason people leave a space for something they genuinely love and have done no objective wrong - youre a piece of shit btw. like full send youre horrible.
#cheeri rants#this is brought on by me finally letting myself get back into smth i loved for like 5-6 years#and got squicked out of by senseless witch hunts and trans/misogyny and the like#im really sitting here remembering all the nights i stayed up with amazing friends#the shoulders i cried on and the hands i held for others#the people who stood with me through some of the toughest times i can remember#we all loved the same silly things#we all poured bits of ourselves into everything we created and we shared that with everyone#i still so vividly remember lamenting that id never get to see our interest irl#and someone i didnt even know all that well dm’d me a few days later asking if i had venmo or paypal#because they were going to give me $50 to buy a ticket. they wanted to go but couldnt#for some reason i cant remember but they gave me their own money and told me to please enjoy in their place#and you know what? i fucking cried that night. you dont see that anymore#the all-nighters i pulled with my best friend watching the live reruns of our interest before we even got into the fandom#doing my homework while we were on facetime together squealing#and all of this came to a screeching halt because of some . PEOPLE.#who figured we were having fun the wrong way because they didnt like it#and we put up all the flashing neon signs to warn people#warn them of smth they should have already known#and just because people ignored those signs it was taken out on us anyway#and i have never been so heartbroken to watch one by one as some of the brightest people i ever knew#started leaving. breaking down. their light was being stomped out because some assholes cant mind their own#and i will be fucking damned before i stand by and let that happen again. to anyone.
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20 // hamper
Sawyer huffed as she looked over formulas and figures, the graphite in her hand tapping an impatient spot into the paper where the dulled tip hit it. Even as she reached forwards for her cold tea (per the usual, she’d forgotten it was there while it was hot), she continued to glare down at the page, her brow set into a focused scowl.
Behind her, errant wings tapped at her shoulder—one, two, forcing her to pay attention to her posture in her chair as the other two skittered across the paper lightly and poked at the material samples that lay atop them.
Sawyer turned in her seat as the raen’s pointed nouliths folded neatly against her back, and the raen reached out to touch the page.
“Frustration and fury. No stranger to the Hawk, but poured into what, the oasis rarely knows.”
Sawyer hummed a note, answering in her comparatively unembellished fashion, “Modifications to those tools of yours. I’ve traded letters with some acquaintances in Sharlayan that were thrilled to see an original iteration of the concept and asked for schematics in exchange for…”
She paused, watching the way her partner’s hand felt aimlessly at the fibers of the page. She had tried to involve Amesha in as many steps of the design process as she knew how to, initially, having her try to attune herself to a great many different crystals and conduit metals, but the parchment-bound stage of design was always… rather one-sided.
She made an angry noise to herself at the injustice of it. As much as she tried to offer Amesha agency—asking what might better enable her rather than assuming, giving her a means to feel her way through a space rather than be led. "Unfettered by sight" as she so often described herself, and yet there were still realms that Amesha was kept from.
“...Hawk?” the raen called, the lengthy pause no doubt causing her worry as she reached out comfort Sawyer with a scaled hand that the hyur took and pressed to her cheek.
“Sorry, I was lost in thought for a moment. I… find it unfair that I’ve spent all this time designing these wings of yours and yet I’ve not included you in the design as much as I could. The wood models are serviceable, but only once I’ve gone through iterations upon iterations with little of your input.”
The raen’s head tilted, and though she smiled, she knew better than to placate. She’d learned well than to give Sawyer an empty reassurance when the hyur was set on the idea that something could be improved for her partner’s sake. Honestly, the hyur might have felt more strongly about it than even she did, but she knew Sawyer would argue back, “All the more reason to be a part of the solution.”
Sighing, the raen withdrew her hand and returned it to the page. “Would that quillstroke and letter could be writ into parchment like the river writes a canyon. Engraved upon page as it is engraved upon earth…” With this, her noulith tipped itself into the sheet, pressing a deep line into a corner of the page that nearly threatened to tear.
Sawyer sat up, at first ready to give the raen light admonishment, but quickly stopped herself at a realization. “...That’s less of a fantasy than you imply. I think you’ve quite possibly come up with the first step towards a solution all by yourself.” she mumbled, looking up and around her desk at the various materials there. “Just a moment.”
She leaned forwards to grab for a narrow metal rod, then grabbed for a blank sheet of parchment while she moved all others aside. The shuffle of paper followed by the quiet scraping of metal caused Amessha to wonder quietly what Sawyer was, presumably, sketching onto this new sheet.
“Now,” the hyur said, papers shuffling again. She pulled Amesha’s hand to the table and laid it gently across the parchment, where the raen explored with her fingertips delightedly. “What do you think I’ve drawn?”
Amesha made an unsure noise as she explored, but indeed, she did feel raised lines in the paper. Long, not quite straight, narrowing shapes that met a tight, rounded end. Many of them, fanned out and layered not unlike scales—
“A… bird’s wing?” Amesha questioned, and she could practically hear Sawyer beaming.
“Yes, exactly right,” she said, in that tone Amesha knew meant she’d be spending a while longer hunched over her work table. She was pulled in briefly, a kiss planted on the raen’s cheek before Sawyer excitedly mumbled. “I’ve got some additions to make to my schematics.”
#ffxivwrite2023#[ ffxivwrite2023 ]#[ the steel hawk ]#[ drabbles; sawyer ]#to be clear amesha is not the one hampered here#sawyer is often stuck in her own lanes of sighted thought#because me and s&s have two ships both with one impaired character#(dug is virtually deaf and amesha is blind)#and because i've been training on accessible document design for work this year#i have been thinking about accessibility in my favorite worlds#and sometimes i wonder why it's not mentioned more#i know most people think that medieval fantasy settings /should/ be WORSE for everyone and /especially/ for marginalized groups#but like#it's fantasy?#why CAN'T a world where accessibility as a real concern for everyday people be a thing?#better yet#why isn't there a fantasy setting that has already taken this into account and has made its world fully accessible?#and that means for people who don't just develop y'shtola-style aether sight as well#like dug learned sign language to communicate with people easier#and when a bunch of people suddenly all began signing at him i was sort of taken aback#i felt like it should be RARE for some reason abut then I got to thinking#it's not as rare as i think it is and also why shouldn't a more accessible world be a part of peoples' ideas of fantasy#i think sharlayan would be all over accessibility personally#aging archons and scholarchs with degrading vision and hearing that use magical lenses and link pearls that enhance their senses??#C'MON it's RIGHT there#i'm sorry about the essay in tags#i am not an ADA expert but i have been trying to be more aware and thoughtful about it and i guess it's made me a lil bit of an advocate#...an advocate who needs to remember to add alt text to her images more
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My dumbass putting off writing what would be a legendary Huntlow jatcch au bc I’m trying so hard to come up with ideas for a Darimila jatcch au even though that specific au is not au’ing
Maybe I should just make. A Howl’s Moving Castle au for those two bc this is not working
WAIT
*scribbles down ideas aggressively* OOOO BUDDY WE HAVE OUR NEW AU
Out of curiosity @petitincendie what do you think
(ik there are like 2 Darimila shippers on tumblr so I’m basically talking to a brick wall but have you ever had an au where the characters just did not want to fit in and you had to give up?)
(Sorry if this is awkward I’ve been overthinking this way too much 😭)
#I can’t believe it was that easy#I should have taken it as a sign when I realized a Raeda jatcch au would actually be flawless#I have to make that a thing#LETS GO TWO JATCCH AUS AND ONE HOWL AU#i should#probably start writing
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-rests my head on the table-
I’m almost at the YOU’RE TAKING TOO LONG HAND OFF THE PROJECT point one something I’m working on at work. And it’s so hard for me to do that 1 cause I don’t know if my coworkers will do it the way I’m hoping, and 2 cause they’ve gotten on my case for taking too long and not asking for help.
And I can at least ask for help on one part cause it’ll take too long.
But I’m having the hardest time calming down after work.
Like my tension and anxiety and fear of failure is just. EATING AT ME. And I can’t turn it off.
#irl shit#mel babbles#mel whines#anxiety issues#mel used tumblr like a diary#it’s the first time in a while any project has taken more than 2 hours so that’s… probably a good sign#spiraling#and have a raging headache on top of cramps on top of rib pain#I should take Motrin
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Do you believe in the concept of soulmates?
Maybe not in the traditional sense, destiny-bound to be with each other and all that. I do think there are certain people out there that one is bound to "click" with bc of different factors, and it's just a matter of finding them. As in, I think I think there are lots of people you could consider your soul mate, but it's up to you to find them. Also, there may be more than one. (I also think a soul mate could be platonic, or in your family.) I think of it as "someone you're close to with your soul", and that can mean whatever you want it to mean.
#wow that's a lot lol#i just woke up apparently i have a lot of thoughts about this#i just remember being with my ex and the whole time worrying like#if i break up with him will i be able to find someone else?#which#should have been a sign i wasnt invested in the relationship#but eh#but anyway yes#there's people out there just waiting to make deep#meaningful tight bonds#you just gotta find em#AND OMG its hard sometimes#esp with poor social skills#but i have a bff now and i could consider her my soulmare#my sister is my favorite person and she could be considered my soulmate#hell even the old lady at work whos like taken me under her wing#soulmate#ill stop now cause my dog wants me to get up so he can go outside#thank you for the ask! btw#asks#moots#also am i going to count this towards my 300 word daily goal?#hell yeah i am
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related to that. when i was a kid there was nothing i wanted more than to be a martyred saint
#me 8 years old depressed & unaware: so. if i get killed for believing in god i go to heaven immediately? sounds great sign me up#things my parents should probably have taken note of & been more worried about
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MOODBOARD MEME — @unholymilf asked: maekar + zodiac sign [aries]
#oc: maekar targaryen#leg.ocs#leg.edit#leg.asks#🍯: ash#unholymilf#hotd oc#asoiaf oc#ASH ASHHHH TYTY ANGEL FOR THE ASK i missed my sweet boy sm <3 you dearie dear you!#spent all day yesterday looking for these aesthetics and working on this coloring kjasnxkjan :') IT TURNED OUT SO CUTE THOUGH <3#i actually was so taken aback when i realized he wasn't a leo like i originally thought? like aries fit him SO WELL ? its the loveliest!#i mean from his aesthetics and personality it should have hit me like a TRUCK hsjnahjn buuut i DID know he had to be a fire sign <3 teehee!#the fire of his sign and the element and his house and his crimson dragon i mean it was DESTINY#yes i have used that image of his fc before and it was so fitting for him his personality and this piece i had to use it again <3#*ocedit#*myedits#*ocmoodboards#☕️: caroline#for its aery's man <3 and also looking as to what her sign is asking for a friend <3
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