#for some reason i cant remember but they gave me their own money and told me to please enjoy in their place

[certified-anakinfucker]

ok this is unprompted but if you pride yourself on being the reason people leave a space for something they genuinely love and have done no objective wrong - youre a piece of shit btw. like full send youre horrible.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for not wanting to regift gifts?

im in my 20s but i moved back in with my mom some time ago. i dont really have much of a social circle of my own and nearly all of my friends are long distance but i am somewhat involved in my moms friends circle and their drama. my moms friends somewhat often gift stuff for us for birthdays, holidays or just because. this is stuff thats either meant for both of us to share like chocolate boxes or something for either of us individually like skincare products or perfumes. my mom will sometimes get books.

of course since her friends are very generous my mom wants to also give gifts to them. i dont have an issue with this at all however sometimes she just picks up a gift she got recently and gives it away. im against this for reasons i cant quite put into words but i am a fairly sentimental person and i feel like it just feels rude to both the original gifter and the new giftee even though neither of them will know. i just think a gift should be more sincere than this, something you actually pick out for the recipient.

when she does it with things she got i understand that she can do whatever she wants with her own things but i always tell her it feels rude and gross to me. sometimes though she will ask me if i am okay giving up something i got for her friends, and i never am, and she will scoff at that but wont push the issue. the thing is i do end up with things i dont really use, like i dont really wear perfumes bc i dont go out or anything, but i always feel like i WILL get use out of them eventually, and also i just appreciate the gifts i was given and dont want to get rid of them.

(specifically the woman that gives perfumes the most for me recently told me a story about how she was really hurt by a friend of hers giving away a perfume she gave them back at the time she was struggling with money, but i felt this way even before i learned about this, so it isnt super relevant though it makes me feel more justified.)

i should also mention that this isnt a money issue for her, she can absolutely afford to buy new things, but she is very busy and i think she also struggles with time management and sometimes will remember that she wants to get a gift for her friends in the last moments before meeting them, otherwise id be fine going on my own to pick something out since i have more time on my hands.

aita for being bothered by this?

What are these acronyms?

[battiegutz]

dunno what the actual reason was as far as what was told to me as a kid but multiple times as a kid and early teen i ended up selling (spcefically selling not giving away) a large chunk of my toys/stuffed animals/other interest related stuff and while i dont think it was ever malicious on my parents part i do think its such a tragedy to not have those things now esp as an autistic person who was very fixated on these things but bc of societal pressure and shame i only felt i could enjoy these things in private but at some points it got so bad that i felt ashamed to have any interests at all and felt the need to sell anything "childish" which im guessing my parents viewed as just me becoming more "mature" as a teen but in reality was the result of masking so hard i didnt feel like i could enjoy my own interests at all bc they were "childish" or "lame". a couple specific things that stand out to me when i think of this stuff is 1. a large leopard plush i had at a very young age and was very special to me bc of memories attached to it and i was made to sell it at a garage sale which i was devastated by. 2. me around age 11 being told that if i wanted to make some money for something i cant remember what i had to sell all my lps which i was again devastated by bc they meant a LOT to me but my mom kept saying how proud of me she was while i packed them into freezer bags with a blank face shutting down my emotions so i wouldnt cry over the fact that my little plastic friends would be going to someone unknown and i would never see them again. and 3. early teens i got into minecraft but suddenly it was "cringe" and everything thus far had taught me to sell the precious few items i had of this interest bc it was shameful to love things dearly and wholly. idk where im going with all this. i miss my lps. my little plastic friends, the worlds and characters id make with them, the connection they gave me to a friend, their perfect weight and texture, their sweet faces. i miss them. no reason to this post im just rambling i guess. i guess a lesson is encourage your kids interests or whatever.

[blackmoonrose13]

I just wrote a long rant post, then deleted it...I regret that. TLDR US MEDICAL INSURANCE SUCKS

I am sick of taking pills...they hurt, I don't know why but I assume due to how big my pills are due to how high the dosage is, and for some reason one of them is a fucking rectangle it hurts my throat, I don't like the feel of them going down my throat any more, it just hurts. (and also having memory issues taking them but like ugh thats a different rant)

I asked the doctor who prescribes me my brain pills as I call them...yes for some reason my insurance wanted me to do that. I get why, but the doctor isn't even my therapist they are just in the same damn building. Its stupid and complicated and us medical is dumb some days.

Anyway I asked him if there is a liquid option. I remember folks talking about that. He doesn't look up if my medicines are available for that, just goes. "If they are your insurance wont cover it" I go. "Okay how about another medicine that does the same as my current pills just in liquid form?" He again, doesn't look up, doesn't check the computer which is in the office. Just waves his hand and goes. "Your insurance wont cover it." To be honest I don't think this man knows, or cares to look it up, or even know what my insurance is...it has changed a couple times and he thinks I am on an older one. Also I am technically already taking a generic of a generic so its not like my body aint used to generic options.

I also don't think he cares period and just I don't know. Any time I ask for like an alternative he goes no...but not in a flat out no we cant do this. He does this like hand waving dismissal.

Due to many friends I know who also have adhd, anxiety and depression who also take medical mary jane...listen I can't spell the name right and spell check gave up on helping me. I thought, hey a good alternative, I can take a chocolate laced with the stuff, that shouldn't hurt. I think I can do this. I asked them about it, did a bit of research on my own. Ready to talk to him about this...he once again waves it off going. "It takes a long time to get approved," I can wait if it will make me not take a lot of pills. "it will cost a lot of money." Around 600 bucks and most of that money is for the card according to mom who has helped me research. "It might not even work." That last one irked me the most because he had no issues putting me on new pills which had a slim chance of working. And him going, "We wont know till you take them for a while"

I am just tired of him doing this it seems like he doesn't care or something. I am also scared to be more assertive because the last time I got assertive with a psychiatrist (not the one I am with now), he threatened to call security on me. All I did was point out the hypocrisy he said to me and how rude it was to say what I did was frivolous when he told me I should pursue the thing.

Fun fact about that asshole he asked me why I wear so much black and when I responded honestly. "It's my fave color and things I like come in black." He told me I was deflecting and using sarcasim as a barrier. While yes my autism can make me come off like Daria, or Wednesday addams with bluntness and monotone, I was actually being honest there and open with him, when he said that comment I did clam right up again on him. You know being vulnerable and made fun off when you do that kinda makes you wanna not socialize with that person.

I am off topic.

Any way so I am just really annoyed about my situation...fun fucked up fact only reason I am ranting all this shit, is because my mom knew how in the brain fog I have been as of late and knew my issue with pills and suggested a medication she is on that does the job of two of my pills, while yes not no pill, it is one less and smaller pill for me. And while I love this idea...I remembered all the shit my doctor currently has shot down, and think that is going to happen again...I wont know till june.

Now before anyone asks me this. No I can't go to the same person my mom sees, for 2 reasons, one insurance doesn't cover her, and 2 I don't feel the most comfy sharing the same doctor as my mom. Which I think is understandable.

I just really wish living in a small town wasn't so...annoying. Hard to find good medical people near me who take my insurance...good news can find a oral surgeon that covers me...4-6 hours away.

If I have a hospital emergency I swear the hospital I go to is going to the ground, because how the fuck they treated me the last few times, sexist doctors calling me sweetie, doctors commenting on my weight when that is not why I came to the emergency room, oh the dismissal of my issues, going "I am in pain" yet go "You seem fine to me" The covid deniers oh the list goes on.

I need a drink...or something.

[pridefulrose]

I just want to kind of document how I am feeling with what is happening right now. I remember back in the day when there was this article about how Bezos did not know what to do with all the money he had so he decided to invest in spaceships and space travel not for the bettering of humanity but because he wanted an exclusive trip around the world that not many people could pay. I remember the delusional declarations of Elon Musk saying that we will be able to live on Mars one day. I thought to myself but why? Earth is comfortable and rich and perfect for us. I still remember that he had so much money he said he could give money to the ONU if they could prove to him that world hunger could be eradicated with some of his money and the ONU gave him the exact number to do so and he retracted his statement only for a few months later buy twitter for 4 or more times the amount required to end poverty around the world.

I remember when COVID happened and the people around the world were dying by the thousands but somehow we didn’t have enough money, resources,nurses, doctors or even masks to combat the epidemic. I remember how the growing number of people were by the thousands and how these numbers were considered inaccurate.

I am in University now and people keep complaining about the cuts in programs and budget for students. They were decimating entire faculties because there was not enough money. They barely made any effort to tell the students what were the programs available and then proceeded to tell us the reason why they were taking away these programs were because nobody used them.

I remember that when I was a preteen my father bought me a laptop that lasted my entire high school career until I was in my first university year and this computer lasted me until the second year. That computer was $400 and it was given to a preteen that did not know how to handle carefully a computer and it still lasted YEARS before it died.

I talk to students around my age struggling to buy food, to pay rent. They are exhausted and surviving with caffeine because they cant afford to sleep. A girl told me she was vegetarian and proceeded to tell me that the reason why she was one was because she could not afford to buy meat and she tried to laugh it off. I did not know how to answer so I nodded and I remained quiet. I couldn’t even say anything because what comfort could I give her when we even my refrigerator seems emptier than before.

The students outside of my province and insidemy province got another increment in their tuition this year and every single one of us have thousand of dollars debt.

I remember my mother telling me that a mansion near our house was sold for 350,000$ now you can only buy a small house with two or three room with that price. The dream of having a house of their own has evaporated for thousands of people especially in places like Vancouver and Toronto and New York.

I had to go to the ER the other day and it had always been slow but I have never been so slow for me to wait 16 hours to see a doctor and then another 6 hours to get my exams. I was so tired it took me a week to recuperate.

And now now I see that there is money, actually way too much money but not for us, never for us. Not for my beautiful Canadians, not for the middle class or the lower classes, but there is always money to save the multimillion companies.

Canadians are struggling to buy food because a billionaire decided to squeeze every penny from them and he smugly declared that if someone tried to do anything he would just squeeze Canadians until they are gasping for air.

There were record sales for millionaire companies but the average person can barely eat three meals.

But there is always money for those who want to kill and destroy. There is always money for terror and bloodshed of people that we don’t even know. What was their greatest sin? Be the stepping stone between the interest of those who want to be ultra rich and richer and the land, resources or power they want.

I don’t need several laptops in10 years, i don’t need a new phone every year. At this point in the fight to survive climate change we don’t even need more oil.

Scientific discoveries don’t excite me anymore. They make me fearful and make me feel dread. The “cute” robots we were dreaming about once upon a time when we were kids are only being conceived to be used for maiming and killing and to automatize death. When people presented us with AI they made it look fun and trendy like it was this new toy we would all enjoy somehow, in the end it jeopardized the entire arts field and even worse it was used to practically in front of our eyes be one of the most helpful tools to accelerate the death of thousand of innocent people.

When I read the hunger games for the first time it was just a novel and now I wonder if I am not actually living in a dystopian reality myself.

[megismorallysunny]

26/09/23

ok so an okay day, i think writing a blog has unexpectedly made me feel worse about myself. i remember more, but i feel like shit more than usual, but i like writing so im not sure what to do. it sucks. i had history first "the sub" was in today he wanted us to acc learn shit, sooooo boring. Carmite, Emerald and "sapphire" all sat together. i cant remember if i mentioned sapphire but hes one of the boys.

they played a roblox obby in class and they kept getting caught so they decided to take out their calculators and PRETEND, it was so embarassing the sub told them not to go on their phones after 10 minutes of them fake playing on their calculators just for carmite to say "hehe not a phone its a calculator, gottem" it was SO EMBARRASSING. HE SPENT 10 MINS. anyways, granite is gone to tenerife so its just me and diorite for a while.

french was good. yknow that girl bluebird that i talked about yesterday, well she got in trouble for not doing her hw again and like she was talking to the teacher and the teacher had to ask her what three times because she was so quite. some other things but i cant remember. for pe we did badminton because the pitch flooded, me and diorite were partners and we bet 1 other team. i was pretty shit tbh. for lunch diorite bought me a chocolate bar and stole some kinder bars. she talked about how she started feeling guilty last night cuz she stole some stuff from a shop and then she found out that there was only one of them (not family owned but not a corporation). i said i also felt guilty when i did that because i have the resources to pay i just dont like spending money. i dont steal, it was a once off chance and just felt like shitty of me.

for business a bunch of 2nd years were in our seats eating lunch and chatting, they musnt have gotten the message to leave when i thre my bag over them to reach my fucking seat. i had to get the guy in crutches to help me out because i just dont like talking to 2nd years because idk they have a weird vibe. also at lunch coming from the shop me and diorite got swarmed by 1st years we didnt know, and asked us for stuff, they asked me for popcorn and i kinda just ignored them and walked through them, maybe i should have been nicer and given them the rest but also im a hungry hungry hippo. they also knew my friends name?? my friend stopped and gave them kinder bars, on the way to business another first year asked for a kinder bar and she gave it to him, "they really took the worst you can get is a no to heart". it was really funny and sweet though the way they flew to food like bees to pollen. anyways the teacher didnt show up for the first 15 mins in class and it got REAL silent, so a girl in my class decides we need to d icebreakers (the only new person in the class is bluebird, and weve all known each other for a little over 2 years). we have to say our full name then our hobby, im 2nd and i CRUSHED it. i did amazing, we got to every1 and out of like 28 only 4 people didnt do it. in geography i felt rly lonely, sure i got a back seat but at what cost, i didnt have anything to do, i felt like shit, and a group of people played among us and i kinda wanted to aswell but i dindt have it downloaded and i just felt awkward, the worst they can say is no but, they remember that no, it was kinda nice seeing them play but i didnt want them to see me smiling so i did it every rarely. diorite wasnt there becasue they had a music thing, i dont do music cuz i sound like a drowned rat. i then walked to my dads work, stayed in his van for an hour so he could finish work and then went home.

i forgot to mention but 1st class ended 10 minutes early for some reason, and no teachers were told so it was rly confusing, my mom got home 4 hours late from work, her top boss is visiting her work and shes one of the managers so she has to do lots of things, we didnt get dinner till 9 cuz dad had to drive my brother to basketball which he just started. i could have just made dinner myself but also yknow, your supposed to eat the food people cook for you and they were going to cook it was really a matter of when. ive decided to learn portuguese which is really stupid but of well, i can try. i hope i shift tonight, wish me luck xoxo

[existentialintrovert]

guess who hasn’t slept and just remembered the deadline to pay 2.5k for accommodation halls i won’t even get to sleep in until february is today

[panickingpansexuality]

Telling Jumin about some of the abuse getaway information

TW: Abuse

You and Jumin were having dinner with your mom at her house. The night had been going great and your mom seemed to like him. Jumin excused himself to the restroom when your mom took you to the living room.

Your mom had sat you down on the couch and with a worried expression started to ask you questions.

"You have a separate account right?"

"Yes Mama."

"And you still have that nice jewelry I gave you?"

You nodded.

"Everything is ok right?"

"Yes Mother." You press. "Really he isn't like that."

"That's what I thought too." She said grabbing your hand.

"You can sell your ring too." She said. "It has to be the first thing to go MC."

"Mama." You sigh out. "Its ok really. He's never going to hurt me."

Your mother looks at you and nods, she Pat's your hands and looks behind you. Jumin is standing at the doorway and you get up to give him a peck on his cheek. He wraps his arm around your waist and gives it a light squeeze.

When you two leave the car ride is quiet your hand is gripping his to try and let him know everything is alright.

"I love you." You tell him, he's looking out the window and gives you a tight smile.

"How much did you hear?" You ask. "With my mom?"

"When she told you to sell your ring." He says in a tight voice. His eyes are full of tears.

"I'm not leaving you." You tell him softly your own eyes filling with tears. "I swear I'm not."

"Then what was that about?"

"Oh Jumin.." you sigh out. Tears fell from his eyes and you reached up to wipe them.

"There's something passed down." You begin. "From woman to woman, about how to leave a man in case he ever becomes abusive."

"What?!" He says. "Does your mother think that I'm abusing you?!"

"No! No!" You say quickly. "She worries too much, she was abused and of course I've had a share of relationships that didn't go smoothly...."

His hand moves from ours and wraps itself around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"So we have rules in place, rules that help us survive. Some of them are a but outdated but they help us.."

"I see.." he says. "So you cant ever let your guard down.."

"I do around you." You say kissing his cheek. "I have sooo many rules broken because I trust you."

You two arrive at the house and he goes straight to Elizabeth. You can tell he's not sure how to feel about this, you go and sit by him.

"I'm gonna tell you them." You say. "Every last one I was taught so you know I trust you."

Jumin looks at you surprised and nods.

So you start

"Never let him know where your personal documents are, Birth certificate, ID, Social Security number.."

"But I know where all of that is.."

"I know." You tell him with a soft smile.

"Have a separate bank account."

"I have one." You explain "Because I am not going to use your money to pay bills or get myself things."

"Jewlry can be pawned off even for a little. Some places will even give you money for donations."

"Gain his trust so that he suspects nothing, keep your head low until the end. Fight back back only when you know it wont cost your life."

"Let work know so that they cant come to your work."

"Once you leave constantly stay with someone. Sometimes leaving with your purse is all you can do. Leaving for work and then not coming home is one way to get out."

"Have a spare phone under. Flip phone is the cheapest, new SIM card and make sure your partner doesnt know about it."

"Do you..have one?" He asked.

"No." You promise. "Elizabeth would've found it by now even if I did."

It's a joke and you both know it but it feels wrong to try and joke right now. Still, Jumin gives you a faux smile. You took his hand and kissed it. You got up and moved with him to the couch.

"Always know where to go." You say. "A friends house, a shelter, churches, even if you save up for a shittt apartment."

"What about children?" He asks "what if you have children.."

You squeeze his hand tightly and release a breath of air to stop you from crying.

"Call schools to let them know what's happening and get them into a different school once you're away from them."

"Once you're away." You continue. "You change all passwords you have, throw out the phone your abuser is in and use the other phone and redirect your mail."

"Is that all?" He asks.

"All I can remember.." you say.

He's silent, he looks over at you and says nothing. He squeezes your hand so tight it hurts.

"Jumin." You say. "I know you would never hurt me. I trust you more than anyone I've ever dated and I am so happy to be with you. I am so happy that I get to call you my husband.

I know I can trust you with this information and know that I will never have to use it with you."

He pulls you into his chest and hugs you as tight as he can. He knows all of this he knows you trust him and that your mom worries too much. He just hates how you carry this information. How long have you had it?

"I know." He whispers out. "I know love. I know. I love you so much."

He holds you like your his lifeline. He knows that if you two have a daughter that she'll be passed this information and he can do nothing to protect her...but if they had a son...he would make sure that he would never be the reason that their lover had to use that information.

(A/N: This is not a stab at men and abuse that happens towards them this a nod to women who are being abused. This same information can be used for men in abusive situations.)

[shit-scfandom-did]

so i have a few questions

1)i cannot understand how you ship k*ramel. their relationship was FILLED with toxicity. from mon-el failing over and over again to listen to what kara had to say to him basically telling her to give up being kara danvers. convincing her that "being supergirl and having you is enough” was absolutely horrible. karamel had their moments but overall it was toxic. then in s3 mon el was married and the whole point of season 3 was allowing them to move on. accepting the toxicity from s2 and pushing past that romanticized time. mon el was a better person by 3b but he was still married. even if mon el and imra did break up in the finale there’s no future for karamel. even during 5x13 kara went to ask on advice about lena. and when winn came to visit from the future not a word about him. she’s moved on and it just wouldn’t make sense for kara to end up with him.

2) how can you hate lena so so so much?? it’s been said over and over again that all she’s ever wanted to do is good. though she’s designed to be this morally grey character. she has FLAWS but that’s what makes her so good. she’s a victim of abuse and you can see her struggle with that especially in seasons 4 and 5. in 5 she definitely goes down a questionable path but how can you expect her not too? after being emotionally abused by her brother, betrayed by her family, andrea (this did happen before kara), and then eve. finding out that kara and EVERYONE she loves has betrayed her as well. I mean how could you not go mad?? and even when she “went mad” she was trying to rid humanity of PAIN. something she later realized was a necessary part of life. her hurt blinded her from reality and lex’s manipulation pushed her down further. she’s been hurt and broken so many times and while that’s not an excuse for what she’s done you have no sympathy for her and that I find appalling. lena has realized what she’s done is wrong, that she’s made mistakes, what she did to kara, and she will have to live with that isn’t that punishment enough? she’s apologized and is trying to make up for everything she’s done by saving the world (again). your unnecessary hate towards her infuriates me. cant you take a step back and see the whole picture?

3) why DONT you ship supercorp or accept the queerbaiting? (watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C2w2GBXd_Pg) They are the core relationship of the show while the danvers sisters are the heart. they’ve gone through so so much together and practically dated in early season 2. they love each other it’s just oh so apparent. i like to believe one of the reasons lena reacted so strongly in s5 is because she was in love with kara and she couldn’t handle the person she was in love with lying to her. and kara flew around the world to get lena’s favorite food!! if that’s not romantic idk what is. I feel like you’ve developed such a clouded view of supercorp that you need to take a step back and understand what lena is the love of kara’s life.

wow what a long message. im not here to hate. im here to inform & undertand. i get it. karamel had their moments and even MY perception of them might be a little cloudy. im not going to hate you for liking them. hell I even shipped them for a little! my brother thinks 3b mon el and kara would’ve been perfect but he understands that supercorp is just where the show is leading and he wants them to be endgame. but what I will hate is your hate. what’s the point of all this? this thread, this account is going to do NOTHING. so why bother? I debated sending this and I hope I’m not too harsh at times but I really wanna see what you say. I hope you can open your eyes to lena and supercorp. maybe even become a supercorp shipper yourself!

- thanks and supercorp endgame 💙❤️

First of all, if you want to discuss ships in the future send this type of anons to facepalming-since-chernobyl, this blog is not for this, but for gathering receipts.

1.I just ship it, I don’t get why you have to understand it. It’s shipping. But if you insist:

No, it was not filled with toxicity. Count me when he failed to listen to her when they were in a relationship. Secondly, he is not a dog, he has his brain, he is his own person. People don’t always do what others asked them to do. It’s not slavery.

He has NEVER said to her to give up being Kara Danvers. How did he exactly convince her? How can you read the scene that he convinced her that being supergirl and having him is erasing Kara Danvers? In this scene he supports anything SHE WANTS to do. Also, Kara Danvers doesn’t equal Kara being a reporter in CatCo. On that moment she had her blog. She change people’s live with it like a real reporter. She took the risk and met consequences of her actions aka being fired by Snapper. Also, remind me who told her to create a blog? With your logic Lena was erasing Kara Danvers too.

Friendly reminder that he was forced to the marriage to keep peace. Also, friendly reminder Imra and the Legion out him in this situation without telling him about her plans. She and Brainiac put him there, knowing exactly how much he loved Kara and how much she meant to him. Imra knew that, that’s why she asked him to stay and solve his feelings. She said if he had come back, she would have known he had no doubts. But he wanted to stay, that’s why they broke up. He came back because once again he sacrificed himself for the greater good, like a real hero. Maybe watch the Argo eps because they clearly show that no, it was no about moving on.

It was not accepting about so called toxicity. First of all, she already forgave him that he lied. Secondly, all of she was screaming in that scene, when she was infected with M’rynn’s powers, happened before they got together and it was already approached in the musical ep. Aka, this scene had no point.

There is no future for karamel because you say so?

Kara went to asked him, because she truly believed and trusted him and his judgment. And yes, she asked about Lena and what did he said? That Kara deserved the same compassion she gives others, something Lena never gave her. And sorry, I know all scs scream the 100 ep was about sc, but it was about Kara fully realizing she is not responsible for Lena’s horrible choices. That’s it. And friendly reminder she called her a villain in the last scene. Also, the ep showed than no matter what, Lena always ends screwing something, because she has too big ego, always knows better, doesn’t stand criticism and doesn’t trust anyone.

It doesn’t make sense for you. Suit yourself.

2.Her fans made me hate her :) Thanks to them and how they excuse her every horrible action, how they treat her as a victim, while she abuse everyone etc. I started to watch her more carefully. And well, she is a horrible, white, privileged capitalist, who plays god, judge, jury, has mommy issues and acts like typical Luthor while crying she is not one, while still using Luthors money and resources.

Yeah, many people want to make good and end doing evil things. Common people pay for their sins, she has never. Since allowing hostile Daxamite army to invade the Earth (also, her portal affected the other aliens who destroyed the NC), producing a device that could recofnize aliens without their consent (and it was used by Children of Liberty,)producing and lying about Kryptonite, trying to make people superpowered without any supervision, killing Adam during illegal experiment, supporting openly alienphobic president and in a way Agent Liberty, killing Lex and then blaming Kara and finally manipulating Kara for months, lying, gaslighting, yelling, making her steal Lex journal, trying to lobotomize her and tortured with kryptonite, hurting every way possible, physically and mentally. Working with mass murderer, enslaving 3 people (kidnapping Eve, without her consent putting AI into her mind, basically RAPING her brain and making her a puppet in her own body; enslaving end experimenting on Malefic and Russel – threatening to kill him to steal Andrea’s necklace) – none of it are flaws. It was horrible abuse and violating every human right and the fact some people excuse it is disgusting.

First of all, being victim of abuse doesn’t give you the rights to HURT other people. The fact I have to explain pains me. Secondly, what abuse exactly? Lillian didn’t love her? Lex kidnapped her? Said he was going to kill her? You know what? Winn HAD HORRIBLE past and he didn’t turn into a murderer. Mon-El was abused by his mother and never tortured Kara with Kryptonite. J’onn killed a lot of white martians but last time I checked he doesn’t feel good about it. Also, never said the things he has done were GOOD. See a difference?

Yeah, and all of it, still doesn’t give her the rights to torture people. Also, friendly reminder she lied to Supergirl about Kryptonite in s3, much before the whole drama. Remember how she destroyed the life of a girl that stole boyfriend in middle school? It clearly shows she always had THAT in her. Plus, sorry not sorry, if she wanted different life, outside her family she could have easily done that. She was in Star City, with Jack, doing her researches, making her career. And she threw it all away, because she WANTED to be a Luthor.

Plus, sorry not sorry, if you feel betrayed and hurt because your friend didn’t tell you something she didn’t OWE you, you go to therapy, not trying to lobotomize entire planet.

Mate, she wanted to lobotomizer entire humanity, without ANYONE’S consent, because SHE, one single Lena, felt hurt. This is playing a GOD. Nothing explains it.

Planning a cold ass revenge for months is not being blinded by feelings.

Once again, even if could argue about how many times she was broken, most of that was a white privileged life she chose herself but whatever, it still doesn’t excuse her. All of she has done should meet consequences. Paying for shit you have done, accepting it, fully realizing what you have done is a part of redemption. Still in s5 she didn’t even apologize to Kara. Because she still didn’t understand what she has done and doesn’t feel sorry about it.

Feel appalled as much as you want, because I’m not going to feel sorry for a white, privileged woman who has never paid for her actions and is basically a living avatar of the worst Karen you can imagine.

She realized Lex was using her horrible experiments (remember? She experimented on puppies too) to his own agenda, that’s why she went to Kara. That’s not grasping a thing. Mhm, if you call that an apology then suit yourself. She is not saving the world, she is helping once again other people fixing the shit she created.

Feel infuriated as much as you want, because I don’t care? Especially when it comes from a person who tells others to take a step back while being totally narrow minded about Mon-El and karamel.

3.Because actors, prodcuers, writers call SC a female friendship. Mel did that in her last interview. See whatever you want but maybe stop forcing people to ship a horribly abusive ship.

Well… no. Kara is the heart and soul of the Supergirl. Alex is her most important relationship. Lena is an important friend, who doesn’t deserve it yet, but we all know Kara is the Paragon of Hope so of course she is going to forgive her.

I know you people think sc dated because they breathed in one room, but in s2 Kara dated, had sex, kissed, cuddled and enjoyed her time with Mon-El.

Yeah, they love each other as friends. It was said more than once.

That’s your delusion, you are free to do it.

Kara done that to Alex too, so you are saying she is romantically in love with her sister or something? If bringing people food is romantic and damn, most of the people I know loves me, god.

No, lena is not Kara’s love of her life.

Cool, you are not going to hate me because I ship karamel, I’m touched.

Sorry that you are going to be super disappointed in the end of the show I guess.

You will hate my hate – what’s the point of it?

Once again, because I don’t think you understand the point of this blog or read the description – it’s gathering receipts of assholes who cross tag and hate on the actors. Maybe go and search #gross hate or #cast hate on this blog so you can see how amazing your fandom is. Have fun.

I would rather eat my own shit than starting shipping the victim of abuse with her abuser.

Thanks and no :)

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[bridgyrose]

“We cannot allow her to remain!” James Ironwood stepped up to a podium, looking around at the collection of gods and goddesses among the masses. “Its in our laws that only those who are naturally born as gods can serve as one. Never those who were created!” 

“She was dying and I had to do something!” Blake stood up, looking at the god of war and famine with a gaze that could pierce anyone. “Where’s the justice in letting her die like that?!” 

Ozma let out a heavy sigh as he looked around the room, listening to each of the gods argue amongst themselves. “Quiet down.” He looked over to Blake, shaking his head a bit. “You knew the rules to creating someone like us. I know that we have a vacancy with our original god of death having disappeared-” 

“I didnt have a choice! If I had let her die-” Blake felt her voice leave her as a pair of blue tendrils formed out from the ground and pulled her back to her seat. 

Glynda rolled her eyes, moving her fingers and letting a small, purple orb spin around them. “Blake, you know the rules. You’re lucky we’re not punishing you for this. Now, do you think you can behave?” 

Blake let out a silent sigh and nodded, looking away from the other gods and goddesses. 

“Good.” Glynda flicked the purple orb at Blake, watching as it went down her throat. “Now, Ozma and I know you had good intentions, but this is a serious matter. We have the rules set for a reason: we cannot allow for another uprising like before. We need to be unified.” 

“But we cant just kill her,” replied Blake. “She’s a tortured soul and would know only unrest if we end her life.” 

“Which is why we are only going to banish her from our realm.” Ozma stood up and created a small necklace. “She will be banished until she can assist ten generations of souls to the afterlife. As for your punishment Blake, you’ll be the one to tell her, and to give her this necklace.” 

Blake’s eyes went to the necklace, a red gem hanging off a golden chain. “I… understand.” 

Ozma nodded and moved the necklace to Blake’s hand. “Then this meeting is adjourned.” 

Ironwood glared at Ozma. “You cannot be serious! We cant let Ruby continue existing-” 

“And with Salem gone and collecting souls for her own reasons, we need another god to help save these souls. As much as I hate to admit it, we need Ruby. And this will be her chance to prove her usefulness to us.” 

Ironwood huffed, folding his arms and watching Blake leave through the corner of his eye. “Then she better be worth it.” 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ruby fondled the necklace she wore as she waited for a bus in the pouring rain. The gem no longer shined brightly, dimming with every soul she moved from the mortal realm to the afterlife. She let out a sigh, keeping her eyes watching the street. “I thought I told you that you cant stay here with me.” 

“Maybe I want to see how you’ve been surviving down here.” Blake walked over to Ruby, keeping an umbrella over her. “Besides, they never said I wasnt allowed to visit.” 

“Visiting is one thing, but this…” Ruby shook her head. “If you’re going to stick around, then you’re going to have to follow some rules.” 

“And they are?” 

“First, don't use any of your powers. I still live with humans and they arent ready to understand that gods and what they call magic actually exist.” 

Blake gave a small nod. “I can do that.” 

“Second, I live with a few… troubled people. So I need you to understand that they may do or say things that normally would invoke your wrath and I need you to let it slide.” 

“I… cant make any promises on that.” 

Ruby let out another sigh. “And third, no matter what anyone says to me, I need you to let me deal with it myself.” 

Blake cocked her head to the side for a moment. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” 

“The owner of the place I’m living at isnt exactly… friendly. And I dont need your protection.” 

Blake let out a small sigh. “Fine. But if anyone hurts you-” 

“That includes if anyone hurts me,” interrupted Ruby as the bus finally arrived. “Just… stick close and follow my lead please.” 

Blake nodded and followed Ruby onto the, watching as she paid the driver. The bus started moving just as she found a place to sit, looking through the window and watching the buildings pass by. It wasnt often she made her way down to the mortal realm, usually observing through whatever means she could. Cats, crystal balls, pools of water… but none of it gave her the same experience as being here. 

Ruby quietly put her headphones on, tapping her foot to the music that played. A sad smile crept across her face as she listened to the voice of an old friend that had died many years before. It was still the one thing she hated about this life: all she could do was watch those that she cared about move on with their lives without her, and eventually, she would guide them all to the afterlife. 

Blake slowly tapped Ruby’s shoulder, starting to look concerned. “Is… everything alright?” 

Ruby slowly moved her headphones off and nodded. “Y-yeah, everything’s fine. Just… listening to an old friend.” She smiled a bit, wiping her tear away. “Its been… strange watching those I become friends with grow old and eventually helping them to the afterlife. This one was a woman who went by Tock. Strange woman, but I cant say I didnt like being around her.” 

“Why get close to anyone if you’re going to outlive them? That would make things easier, wouldnt it?” 

“Easier, but lonely.” Ruby looked out the window, grabbing her bag. “Alright, we’re almost back to my place.” 

Blake nodded and followed Ruby off the bus, pausing when she saw they were stopped at an old building that looked like it desperately needed repairs. “This… is where you live?” 

Ruby nodded. “For the last ten years now.” 

“But you’re a god. Shouldnt you be living somewhere a bit… better?” 

“Unfortunately, the mortal realm requires money for that. And unfortunately, if I dont want to draw attention to myself, having a bank account and leaving it isnt exactly the best option for me.” 

Blake dropped it as she followed Ruby inside the building, looking around. As far as she could tell, the inside looked better than the out: the walls didint look like they were going to crumble, the paint looked a couple years old, and the carpet seemed to be freshly replaced. “This… seems a bit better…” 

“It’s really not as bad as it seems, once you get used to it.” Ruby slowly unlocked the door and opened it, immediately getting hit with a couple pillows being tossed at her. 

“You’re late,” replied a redhead as she walked over to the door. “Which means you better avoid Emerald until she calms down.” 

Ruby rubbed the back of her head. “S-sorry about that, Nora. Work ran a bit late and I met up with an old friend for a bit.” She stepped inside, setting her bag down. “Besides, Emerald will get over me being late-”

“You know she’ll hold this over you until you can make it up to her.” Another girl walked downstairs, smirking at Ruby. Her gold eyes glistened in the light as she moved a few strands of hair out of her eyes. “Who’s that?” 

“Oh, right, I forgot to do that.” Ruby smiled and took Blake’s hand. “Nora, Cinder, I want you to meet Blake. Blake, meet Nora and Cinder.” 

The redhead, Nora, walked over to Blake and looked her over. “She’s not one of us, is she?” 

“One of… you?” Blake leaned over to Ruby and whispered into her ear. “What does she mean by that?” 

Ruby sighed as she watched Cinder grab an apple and start peeling with a knife she had never owned before. “Remember how I told you I lived with a few troubled people?” 

“Yes, I remember that.” 

“They’re… thieves.” 

Blake frowned, immediately engulfing the room in a flash of light and leaving a couple coins where Nora and Cinder were standing. 

Ruby pinched the bridge of her nose, groaning. “This… is going to be a rough night…” 

[pillage-and-lute]

Thicker Than Water (Part 8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, (here)

Ao3 link HERE

Please note, this is pretty heavy, it deals with a lot of common insecutiries for adults with ADHD and Jaskier blames himself for a lot of things, but it’s not triggering in the traditional sense. Much of this fic has been about the ways Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and other ADHD symptoms can cause self-destructive actions, this focuses on other insecurities, common blames, and then the self-isolation that can come from guilt, even unfounded guilt.

Please remember, in this fic’s world Geralt and Jaskier actually do have a loving and pretty healthy friendship, albeit with communication issues. People fight some times, these are just ways in which RSD can mess with healthy relationships.

OTHER TW: Mentioned child abuse.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Yennefer and Ciri asked Jaskier to come down for supper that evening. Between lunch and dinner he’d napped, evidently passing out wasn’t the same as actual good-quality rest and his body was demanding it’s due. Evening came around, though and Yen took his elbow to help him stand.

They walked at a slow pace down the hall, Jaskier’s body not up for much more. Ciri stuck behind them, but the pace was embarassingly painstaking.

“Ciri,” Yennefer said. “This is a lot for Jaskier, and will take some time, why don’t you go see if they need help in the kitchen?”

Ciri gave one more concerned look at Jaskier, then bounded off. 

Yennefer steered Jaskier to an alcove in the stone of the hallway. He was embarrassed to find himself out of breath.

“What are you going to do?” She asked him. She wasn’t asking about his lungs.

“Eat supper I suppose.”

“I mean about Geralt.”

He knew she meant Geralt, and sighed. “I don't know, Ciri says I'm angry and I am...”

“But?”

“That day on the mountain I didn’t give him space,” Jaskier said, feeling a lump grow in his throat, blocking off his already small air supply.

“I never know when to give people space, I never have, I've been working on it my whole life and I still don't understand.” His chest ached. With emotion, with pneumonia, with tiredness. With shame.

“I’ve always been different, you know?” He looked up at Yennefer. He was taller than her but she sat regally, and he was hunched over, conserving his air.

“In stories being different is usually a good thing, you get cool powers and people love you, but life isn’t like that. And being different is...it’s so much worse when you’re a kid.”

“I know,” Yennefer said. Those purple eyes...she knew. She understood, probably better than anyone. There were parts of her story that Jaskier didn’t have, wasn’t entitled to, but she understood.

“I cant do things I'm not interested in, not don’t want to, can’t. Even if I am interested, they don't always get done,” Jaskier whispered, like he was confessing to a priest, not a barely-friendly witch in a cold hallway.

“I’m nothing but a ball of loose ends, tangled up and bouncing around, running into people and making them as tangled as I am,” Jaskier said. It came out half-sobbed, which upset his breathing and he began to wheeze, then cough.

“If I’m not interested in something, if nothing lights up my mind, I get so sad and tired it’s like this horrible weight.” Jaskier kept talking, feeling the emotions fighting to get out. “Being around people helps, I can get things done, be more normal. And interesting people, oh they’re the best, of course. They keep that awful sad, tired feeling away because they’re always interesting.”

He looked down at his knees, wrapped in their battered trousers.

“But I need to be around them so much,” he whispered. “And I’m too much for anyone to want around long.”

He leaned his head against the cold stone of the alcove wall, staring blankly and watching as his field of vision blurred with tears.

“I’m dramatic,” he said. 

“You’re a bard.”

Jaskier shook his head. “Dad called me a pansy, among worse things. He tried to beat it out of me. I just, I seem to feel more than other people. Happy is more happy, but sadness, fear, rejection, they’re all so much worse. I overreact and it makes me hard to deal with.”

He felt a tear roll down and get caught in the scruff on his chin. “I need people though, and I need people to like me. Crowds come and go I just needed one person to like me so I forced it to be Geralt.”

Jaskier was crying in ernest now, full tears falling and shoulders shaking, clogging up his breathing so his cries mingled painfully with coughs. Yennefer reached out and pulled at his shoulder, bringing him up from his hunched over position.

“I’m angry at him even though it was my fault,” he said, wretchedly.

“I followed him and took advantage of the fact that he doesn’t talk because he wont tell me to go away. I took advantage of his patience like that so someone could keep me around and I let myself believe that he actually wanted me around, that just one person could bear being around me. And being with him left me time to go seek out other interests, go ahead or stay behind, I never got bored and it was perfect for me and probably hell for him.”

Jaskier sniffled, looking away and studying the wall because he couldn’t bear to see the condemnation that would surely be on Yennefer’s face.

“And I fell in love with him. Which was stupid because I've been using him this entire time,” he whispered. 

“I used him for music and money, then I used him to bandage my self esteem and its all my fault.”

Jaskier finally managed to look at Yennefer and saw that she was actually rolling her eyes.

 “It’s not your fault, he was on a horse, you were walking, he could have left you behind anywhere.”

“He’s too kind to leave me to die on my own.”

“What about towns?” Yennefer asked. “What about the djinn?”

“The djinn was my fault.”

“The djinn was his fault,” Yennefer said, stubbornly.

“The djinn was my fault, I thought he was joking. He’d do that, you know? I’d ask him what he was doing and he’d say ‘cooking a unicorn’ or ‘hunting a gabledegook’ so I just thought he was joking again because I thought surely a djinn was only a story. Even if they weren’t there was no reason Geralt would want one. I made horrible wishes, they could have ruined lives, can you imagine?”

“I can.”

Of course she could. It had been stupid of him to say that, Yennefer knew better than anyone how a careless wish, or even a not so careless one, could turn out.

“I have to ask,” Jaskier said, since Yennefer didn’t seem in the mood to turn him into a salamander. “Did geralt wish for you to love him?”

“He wished for me to be bound to him the sex was just...adrenaline, magic, wanting another outsider, a little bit of the djinn. I won’t do it again.” She said, fervently.

“You don’t have to promise that, I have no claim to him,” Jaskier said.

“No one has claim to anyone,” Yennefer snapped. “But you love him. Anyway, I wasn’t telling you, I don’t want him. I don’t want sex with him I want his destiny, our destiny, nothing more.”

“I love him very much,” Jaskier said, after she settled from her outburst.

“Have you ever told him?”

Never, he might think he owes me something.”

“I think you think he’s more self sacrificing than he is. He wouldn't date you out of obligation, he’s not that sort of man.”

Jaskier tilted his head back against the stone. “But he feels guilty, for everything, all the time. What if he did it as an apology.”

“Geralt wouldn't do you the disservice of a pity relationship.” 

“We had a pity friendship.”

“You didn't.”

“We did.”

Yennefer peered at him with those strange eyes. “You love him though.”

“I do.”

“I don’t think its a lost cause.”

“I do.”

Yennefer shifted, pulling her hair over one shoulder. “When I asked earlier, I meant what do you want to do after this? Do you even want to see Geralt?”

“Oh gods I rambled and --”

“Shut up, you needed it off your chest.”

Jaskier sighed. “I always want to see Geralt, but I don't think I should be around him. He needs more space than most people and I need less. I do want an apology, I don't want him to grovel, I don’t want him to beg for me back in his life because that's a choice I want him to make on his own. I don’t even need him to tell me through speech because I know that can be hard. He could write a letter.I just...”

“And if you got an apology?”

“I intend to apologize first. I’ll apologize, maybe he’ll apologize, and that way we can at least be friendly, if not friends. And then in the spring I’ll leave, take a different path and it won’t matter anymore.”

I won’t be able to hurt him anymore, Jaskier thought, darkly.

“Nilfgaard wants you,” Yennefer warned. 

“I know,” Jaskier sighed. “I may have to fake my death or... oh!” He looked up at Yen, smiling even as he wanted to cough. 

“You can wipe my memory!”

Yennefer actually recoiled. 

Jaskier’s excitement had set off the coughing and he felt it tear through his throat and squeeze at his ribs until the fit eased.

“I’m not wiping your memory,” Yennefer said, severely.

“Why not? Yen, it’s the perfect solution, and Nilfgaard couldn’t get anything out of me.”

“And Geralt get’s his damned wish,” Yennefer snarled.

Jaskier looked down. “I know he didn’t mean it, he’s a good man, he wouldn’t wish anyone gone in that way, but yes, that wish would be granted and I’d never bother him again.”

“Geralt has a habit of making stupid wishes that he doesn’t actually want granted,” Yennefer snapped.

“You’re supposed to be on his side,” Jaskier said, smiling wetly. “It’s my fault, remember?”

“I don’t think even Geralt’s on Geralt’s side,” Yennefer said. “I won’t take your memories. You wouldn’t remember anything.”

Jaskier deflated. “I guess I’m as good as dead if I can’t remember songs or how to play the lute.”

Yennefer shifted uncomfortably.

“I would forget how to play, wouldn’t I?”

“Well...” she said. “No. You would remember anything you’d learn, knowledge isn’t memories, you know? You’d even know your songs, just not why you knew them or that you’d written them.”

“If you won’t do it, is there a mage who will? I’d only need to get to a city, how much do you think a spell like that would cost?”

Yennefer groaned. “No, bard, I’ll do it. If it’s what you still want, if you’re sure at the end of winter, yes, I’ll take your memories. It’s better than some quack doing it, or worse, turning you in to Nilfgaard but...I don’t like it.”

Jaskier was surprised to see her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I won’t take that choice from you,” she said, blinking hard. “But I hope it’s not the one you make.” She sniffed, she tried to make it seem disdainful but it was definitely tearful. 

“Anyway,” she said. “What about Ciri? She adore’s you, if you didn’t remember her it would break her heart.”

Jaskier waved a hand. “I”m only a storyteller,” he said, wishing bitterly that it wasn’t true. “She has a whole marvelous family full of stories they can tell her.”

“Didn’t you hear her, she doesn’t feel like this is a family,” Yennefer said, sharply. 

“We’ll fix that.”

“So that you can abandon her, you mean?”

Jaskier grimaced. “It’ll be safer for her. Even if I traveled with Geralt, there’s no guarantee Nilfgaard wouldn’t take me, wouldn’t read my mind and put her in danger.” He looked Yennefer right in the eyes. “I won’t let myself hurt her.”

Yennefer hung her head. “We’ll discuss it at the end of winter,” she said. “Do you still feel up to dinner?”

Jaskier thought about it. He felt lighter, in a way, unburdening himself of the guilt he’d been carrying was better, but he was exhausted, and his chest felt raw. 

“I think I’d rather eat in my rooms,” he said sheepishly. 

He ate dinner alone, wishing he wasn’t but he was practicing giving people space, and he felt proud of himself for it. He only had to continue it, apologize, and get through the winter.

Then he’d never remember he had problems to begin with.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They will get there. Please read the note at the top, these are all very common ADHD insecurities and relationship problems. Remember, Geralt is not the villain. He needs to apologize, and he’s trying, but the villain is the insecurity.

Tag List!

@frywen-babbles @mordoriscalling @thedarkestangel1 @kerfufflezz  @samukai  @charlies-dragon @live-long-and-trek-on  @holymotherwolf @morte-mistrata @mewithanie @sharondnovels @stinastar @ionlylikemycat @annafortoday @its-the-quenchiest-stuff @kkiyomizu @so--many-fandoms @endless-whump @ineffable-monster-romancer @tookarma @seraphim-miryam  @sweetiepieplum @nerdy-numinuos @ravenclaw-dirt

[simp-for-all-genders]

Ateez reactions to you walking out in only lingerie

Warning- suggestive & cursing

Summery-your friend is over but you didn’t know about it so you only walkout in lingerie cause it’s your own house duh

Word count-1,953

None of the gifs or pictures belong to me credit to the respective owners 

Seonghwa- “are you waiting for someone” you grab a blanket that was near and covered yourself “can you tell me when you’re coming over so I can be prepared asshole” “but answer my question are you waiting for someone” “no I’m not I just wanted to take pictures cause I feel pretty today” “girls do that” “some girls but why are you here” “I wanted to hang out with you but I kinda wanna do something else now” Seonghwa got up from the couch and walk towards me and pulled me closer to him “w-what are you doing” I was blushing hard “well you teased me so you got to finish what you started” he then looked down I looked down as well and saw that he had a boner “take the blanket off Y/n” “why should I you cant tell me what to do” he pulled me closer and whispered in my ear “you have no fucking idea what’s going to happen to you slut” he pulled the blanket off me and kissed me full of lust. The rest is up to your imagination hehe

Hongjoong- ”special occasion” I quickly turned my head just to see Hongjoong so I calm down *sigh* “no just wanted to feel pretty” “you’re always pretty there’s no need to wear lingerie to feel pretty” “thanks Hongjoong but do you think it's pretty” “yeah I think it’s pretty but you look beautiful in anything” I blush lightly and giggle “I’m going to change into real clothes be right back” “no don’t change it don’t get to see you like this often but I wish I did” he walks to me and kisses my forehead “your so beautiful I wish you were mine every day you know that” “no I didn’t but I have thought the same though” “great minds think alike” he hugs me and kisses my neck “will you be my girlfriend Y/n” I kiss him “yes”

Yunho- I automatically feel something hit me I see it was a hoodie Yunho’s hoodie to be specific “cover yourself you shouldn’t just walk out in lingerie” “BRUH if you would have told me you were coming over I would have this is my house after all” “I did tell you I texted you” I checked my phone it didn’t say Yunho texted me “it didn’t come thru so you didn’t tell me” “oh well umm okay sorry” “it’s whatever” “but why are you wearing lingerie” “I going to sell the pictures for money” “WHAT THE HELL Y/N, NO YOU CAN’T DO THAT I CAN PROVIDE FOR YOU DON'T DO THAT PEOPLE DON'T DESERVE TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS” “hahaha I was joking I wouldn’t do that I’m just wearing them I haven’t worn lingerie for some time now so I felt like wearing them and I look pretty in them” “put on the hoodie Y/n and please dont scare me like that” I giggle and put the hoodie on “sorry yunho but will you really provide for me” “of course I care about you so i'll do anything for you” I kiss his cheek “thanks yunho” i wasn't prepared for what yunho was going to say next “i can only see you like this don't let another man see you like this or i'll kill him okay” he gave me light kisses on my neck “okay” he kisses my lips “good”

(this man's going to be the death of me i swear)

Yeosang- “someone's feeling their self huh” “AHHH KANG YEOSANG WTF YOU SCARED ME” “I can see that haha” “why didn’t you tell me you were coming” “there isn’t a need to I come over almost every day” “true but dame dude” “your lingerie is cute by the way” “thanks but of course you do, don’t you have a thing for lingerie” “yeah but that doesn’t mean I can’t compliment you does it” “no it’s just that you like girls in lingerie in general so it doesn’t feel that special to me” “well your the first girl I have seen in person so it is special but also you’re just beautiful in general” I blush a little “well thank you” “your welcome and I know you took pictures can you send them to me” “KANG YEOSANG” “what~ I just wanna have them keepsakes” “what so you can get turned on by them, pervert” he comes over to me and whispers in my ear “no I already have you here so I can do whatever I want to you I just want them to remember how fucking beautiful you are” I felt my heartbeat go down to my pussy i weakly said fuck “ah~ turned on be my words how cute” “y-yeosang stop” “aww but you're the one who ask why i wanted to pictures” i whispered to him “you don't know how bad i want this right now” “i’ll give it to you then” yeosang started to kiss me full of lust and then kissing down my neck and leaving marks and started going lower. The rest is up to your imagination hehet

San- “someone looking like a snack” I choked on my own spit when I heard san “CHOI SAN WTF” I go an grab a blanket that’s on the couch and cover myself “aww why are you covering yourself” “cause I feel uncomfortable now” “sorry I didn’t mean it like that it’s just you look sexy” “thanks but why in the hell didn’t you tell me you were coming over” “I wanted to surprise you but it looks like I got surprised instead” “can you stop san” “you’re getting flustered by my compliments how cute but you should get showered in compliments every day if you look like this” I was blushing super hard and didn’t even want to look at him “look at me Y/n” he lifts my chin to look at him “your so beautiful any man or woman would want you but they cant cause your mine isn’t that right Y/n” “I never claimed myself as yours” I looked away from him “well you’re going to be mine after tonight” he picked me up my blanket fell and I wrapped my legs around him so i didn't fall then he started kissing my neck lightly then up to my lips while kissing he took us to my bedroom. The rest of is up to your imagination

Mingi- ”surprAHHHHHH Y/N CLOTHES PLEASE” “MINGI why are you here” I cover myself with the robe I luckily had on “I wanted to surprise you but as you can see that didn’t work out are you covered yet” “yes you can look now” mingi looks at me with a red face and an awkward smile “hi” “hi you okay” “yeah just wasn’t expecting it that’s all” I just laugh at him “I know for a fact that you’re not innocent you live with 7 boys for crying out loud” “I know but I wasn’t expecting for you to be wearing lingerie cause normally it for a special occasion” “yeah it normally is but I don’t have a boyfriend to wear them for so I wear them for myself and take pictures” “why do you take pictures” “so when I do get a boyfriend I can send them to him” “ah~ so if I become your boyfriend I can get pictures of you wearing lingerie” “hahaha yeah why do you ask do you want the pictures I took hahaha” he scratches the back of his neck “no not really I was just asking” “are you sure you were just asking” i walk closer to him and sit on his lap facing him his eyes go wide “yeah i was just asking your my friend i wouldn't need those photos” “ah~ okay then” i try to get off his lap until he puts his hands on my hips to keep my still “don't move” i sit still like he asked me to he puts his head on my shoulder and i can feel him undo my bow on my robe and take it off me he then kisses my shoulder and looks at me “why would i want the pictures when i have the real thing in front of me” he then kisses me again but on the lips this time and i of course kiss back. The rest is up to you imagination

Wooyoung- I saw that wooyoung was there on his phone not paying attention so I was going to go to my room to put on clothes but the floor creaked when I tried to turn around “nice ass Y/n” I said fuck under my breath “wow thanks wooyoung” “yeah no problem” I turned around to face him “I was being sarcastic” I saw Wooyoungs face go flush “you flustered that I have a nice body” “shut up I just wasn’t expecting you to turn around I thought you were still going to get clothes” “I’m not going to get clothes anymore you already saw me so there’s no reason” “oh okay” “do you want to eat something” “sure” that's when I started my plain I played music and the song that came on was she said by crush feat, BIBI which is a song about sex ironically and started to cook I felt wooyoung intensely staring at me but I just let him but said “take a photo it will last longer” “your such a fucking tease I swear” I heard him get off the couch and walk towards me then I feel his arms go around my waist he whispers in my ear “i already have know need to tell me but it does confused me that you didn't get dressed even when i had saw you are you trying to turn me on” i felt something poke my leg “so what if i was” “your such a fucking slut” he starts leaving marks on my neck and shoulders so i turn the stove off cause i already knew where this was going so i turn around and wrapped my arm around his neck and kiss him. The rest is up to you imagination 

Jongho- “well you look cute” “oh hi jongho and thank you” you look down at yourself and saw that you never changed out of your lingerie but you were glad that it wasn’t one of you more revealing ones “umm I’m going to go change” “okay but you don’t have to I really don’t care your not showing to much anyway” “okay well I’m just going to grab a hoodie then” “you can wear mine” he takes off the hoodie he was wearing and hands it to me “thanks” I put it on and of course it was big on me cause I’m a couple of inches shorter than him I look at him and he looks at me smiles “you look even cuter now” “haha thank you” I whisper to myself that I love his smile “can I have my hug I normally get a hug from you every time we see each other” “oh yeah sorry” I go to hug him and he gets up from the chair to hug me too I pull him close to me in a very loving hug then I feel his hands go to my thighs then a second later I was in his arms with my legs wrapped around him “your so beautiful Y/n” jongho kisses me and i kiss back he pulled away and smiled “i love your smile” “i love your smile too but wanna know what i love more” i hum in response “you i love you Y/n” “i giggle “i love you to jongho”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Anonimous said: Hi sweetheart, how are you? I hope you doing great. First of all, I’m a huge fan of you and I’m from Saudi Arabia I CAN’T STOP SMILING WHEN I READ A FANFICTION FOR U♥️. So if you don’t mind and the requests are open could we have something for Kai, Kaito, Kin, and Haru doing a pajama party cuz that is ANGEL B-day n she’s like these things? Sorry for my bad English. AGAIN THANK YOU BECAUSE YOU MADE MY DAY♥️

“You two want to do what again?” he sighed, one of his hands supporting his head with his elbow on his desk as his free one pinched his covered nose.

“A pj party!” Kin giggled as her older brother nodded at her, confirming to his father he also wanted the same thing.

“Why? You both know none your colleagues like to even step closer to the Hassaikai, is useless.” He gave an nonchantly look at Kaito when he facepalmed, mocking him surely the little brat, as Kin huffed and put her hands on her waist with a frown, reminding him very much of you.

Damn those brats took after both of you very well

“Dad..” Kaito groaned before pointing at the door with both arms “Is for mom’s birthday! She loves those things!” The boy exclaimed as he deadpanned.

“Don’t tell us you forgot!” Kin spoke with a cold tone of voice while glaring at him with a pout, matching gold orbs staring back at his own.

“I haven't.” he sighed, getting up from his chair and leavuing his office, his son and daughter following him like baby ducks, causing to a nearby precept to chuckle at the scene before yelping when he saw the death glare Chisaki gave to him over his shoulders. 

“Then you letting us do it then?” The nine year’s old boy asked, face same as his father but on his (E/c) coul be noticed a tinge of hope and happiness.

“Your mother is how many years older than you both again? The answer is no.” He said in sarcasm as he walked before sighing when his three year’s old daughter got on his front and sucefully stoped him on walking “What?”

“Papa pleasee??” she got her tiny and chubby hands interlocked together while doing the puppy eyes up at him “You can help us and say is a gift you also gave!”

“Absolutely not-” He growled and rolled his eyes up when she started to sniffle, then to help even more he felt a tug on his jacket, and when looking down he saw Kaito with a pout and the same look Kin carried.

Those brats knew it how to get to him, dammit it was the same look his wife gave it to him all the time and fucking succeded it. He had to remember to have a long, LONG chat with you later for this attitude of the kids.

“Do whatever you two want without messes. And your mother better like it.” he watched his son and daughter’s face lighten up and shout their thanks at him while running to whatever they were planning “NO running inside the house you brats!”

Just listening to his son and daughter’s gigglesgave a simple smile to the usual cold man as he shook his head and started to walk again only to be met with his wife, entering the house along with Chrono after she went out.

“Kai!” he watched you put the bags carefully on the ground to walk towards him witha bright smile, also noticing the quick greeting Hari gave to him before his daughter jumped and lauched on his leg with giggles.

“I see you wiped off the money I had on my credit card.” he said nonchantly as you giggled, letting him, one more time on that day, smile and touch your cheek with his gloved hand to carres it.

“Says the man whose not even once stop buying things. Hell Kai, not even me or the kids can’t look at something and yoy’re already grabbing and paying for it.”

“Is for a different reason, and with those brats I agree I have to come to a stop before they become spoiled pests.”

.

.

.

He was walking on the halls, finishing reading some of his paperwork until he heard some giggles, catching a bit of a blanket little thief run and enter one room of the house.

Cringing at the thought of that blanket slidding and catching all the dirt on the floor, he sighed before going after and opening the door.

"You brats better not make a mess of this-" he stopped abruptly when he saw the state the room was in... full of pillows, lanterns, blankets forts which btw he learned what it was from you.

It even had the freacking coffe table from the living room full of snacks.

"So one of you stole the table huh little rats?" He asked nonchantly as Kin poked her head out of the blankets and kaito looked at him over his shoulder.

"Hah?" The boy said monotonously before accidentaly using his quirk on a pillow. Causing to explode and the room be filled with feathers.

"That makes a great decoration Kaito-kun!" He arched one of his eyebrows at seing Chrono's daughter inside one of the first, putting on some Christmas golden lights inside of it.

"Haru." He nodded towards teh girl whose shyly gretted back and returned to her going "Ordered someone to help make your work? Kaito?"

"No way!" The boy exclaimed before getting up "Me and Kin invited her as well!"

"Yeah! Kaito has a bitty wittyy crushy on Haru-chan!" Kin singed while twirling the blanket on her fingers as Kaito gagged but soon scoffed, crossing his arms much like he would do.

Damn Kaito took after him shit-

"As long as none of you cause a mess that is not my problem." He sighed, turning his back at the kids and waving at them over his shoulder "Try to not destroy the house while I'm not looking."

"We wont!" Kaito huffer before picking the shattered pillow before frowning "uh... daddy?"

"What now..?" He grimaced before looking at the shy kid whose begrudily showed the torn out pillow on both his hands.

"Help..? I still cant control it that well..." the boy said in shame and he soften his eyes at the much familiar dark brow hair son of his.

"Give it here." He sighed while crouching down and grabbing his son's hands while one of his free one had on the pillow "Concentrate on what form you want it, and how the pillow was before you used your quirk on it."

It was quiet until he saw the two girls looking in interest as he deadpanned.

"Isn't the surprise suppose to be ready until my wife comes here?"

"Right!" Haru yelped and grabbed the rest of the lights. He noticed the anticipation of his son to also help so instead he used his own quirk to put it back together.

"Huh?" Kaito noticed before being patted on the head.

"Go on. We can have lessons all the time, but your mother's birthday is only one time at the year so." He commented nonchantly as (E/c) eyes widened and shined as a little but bright smile appeared on the boy's face as he let out a happy giggle when Kai got up.

"Thank you daddy!" The boy said cheerfully before joining the girls and helping them with the lights since he was the tallest out of the three.

His gaze remained on them for a little before scoffing and going back to his work.

When he had became so... soft over two brats and one kid that wasn't even his own?

He grimaced and shaked his head to rid his head of this thoughts and returned to his office.

.

.

.

"I'm so tired..." you sighed while taking your heels off aa Kai stared at you.

"Dinner wasn't of your liking?"

"No no, it was amazing but you spared too much money as always." You giggled while hitting your head on his chest as he carresed with his gloved hand your hair.

Usually after a dinner, especially on your birthday he would... take you to the bedroom and... well, you know.

Ut just when he was about to kiss your neck after pulling his mask down he remember immediately the work his kids and Haru had done. Grimacing, he had to be strong to push his selfishness and lost aside to cup your cheeks to leave one passionate kiss. Enough for him to leave your head quite dizzy.

"Woah.." you whispered as he smirked, pecking your forehead as you pouted "Not going to continue what you started handsome?"

"Sadly, it seems like you have plans already." He sighed while walking and montioning for him to follow you.

"Huh? I don't have any? Or do I?" You followed him as he gave three knowns with the back of his fingers on a door.

"The brats have you for the night." Was the only thing he could muster before your son and daughter threw themselfs at you as Haru laughed but from some safe distance before going to you; on the ground by the way, your kids werent gentle; and giving a cheerful happy birthday along with the Chisaki twins and a hug.

"Woah!" You giggled before sitting up, Kin, giggling, and Kaito, smirking, on your lap "So that was the surprise you two hinted earlier?"

"We were actually scared that papa was going to tell you!" Kin exclaimed while climbing off from your lap and grabbing your hand.

"Yeah since he always fights with us to get you." Kaito mumbled before helping you up, smirking at the glare Kai had on him.

Little sh-

"So I-Oh my god you three did that?!" You exclaimed when you saw the room decorated as Kin nodded fervently before Kaito begrudilly pointed at Haru.

"Haru did most of the decorations..." the girl laughed before smilling up at you.

"I dont even know what to say kids.." you said with a smile as he sighed.

"I will let you four be for now. Anything just go to my office." He ignored your asking if he wasn't going to stay because he knew what was going to happen.

He didn't wanted Kaito or Kin to comment why he was hiding a toy on the middle of his pants.

He crossed paths with chrono, whose seemed torned out with something.

"Kai thank god." The male sighed before looking around "Have you seen Haru? I couldn't find her all day."

"She hadn't told you she was going to spend the night with my own pests and my wife? They literally stole her from the night." He commented nonchantly as Kurono face palmed.

"I forgot about that." He growled as Kai shook his head.

[robinofinashiro]

request from anonymous: “could i request something for shiggy? maybe she’s apart of Kai’s gang but friends with Dabi and when Overhaul asked for his help, Dabi mentions that he had connections to him and after the entire battle ends, shiggy somehow gets you onto his team?? sorry if this was confusing!!” 

request status: CLOSED 

pairing: shigaraki tomura x fem! reader 

“dabi, what are you doing here!” you asked, taking a sip of your drink, “I can’t just hang around here?” Dabi asked, taking a seat next to you. you rolled your eyes, handing your drink to the bartender to refill. 

you spun yourself to face him, “this is yakuza territory, Dabi. if I remember correctly, League of Villain members don’t usually hang around us,” you taunted. 

Dabi sighed as you grabbed your drink and let him pull you over to a more secluded corner. he knew that his boss had been in contact with yours over a few ‘endeavors’ lately.

“what the hell does your boss want with mine?” he asked a bit more seriously. you laughed a little too loudly, “why are you interested in Overhaul all of a sudden? I had no idea they were in contact,” Dabi could tell you were lying through your teeth. 

he stared at you more intensely making you sigh, “he wants to know if Shigaraki would be interested in working with him over something with the girl he has hostage,” you murmured. Dabi scoffed, “what girl?” he asked. 

you looked around for a moment, “I don’t know much but I guess she has something to get rid of quirks. truthfully speaking, the one you should be asking these questions should be Chrono. the only reason why I know any of this is because I watch over the child sometimes and just dragged into their meetings sometimes,” you explained sincerely. 

Dabi could tell you were telling the truth as you spoke up again, “so why are you talking to me specifically? for enough money, Chrono could have talked to you about this,” you mentioned. 

“well, that’s because Shigaraki would probably say yes if you went to that meeting at your bosses place tomorrow. he gets nervous around people like you and if you happen to be in the room, he might agree and stop being such a prick to everyone.” 

you gave him a look of confusion before sighing, “I’ll have to see if Kai even allows me in. the most I can do is lead them to the room. somethings even he won’t allow me to hear but I’ll try my best to introduce myself,” you mentioned.

Dabi nodded, taking a swig of his alcohol. you sighed disappointedly and he could tell the same thing was wrong. he didn’t need to know because he had already heard you complaints once before. 

you weren’t too happy about being apart of Kai’s gang. he knew you didn’t exactly fit into his kind of crime activity. the only reason why you even joined his gang to being with was because of your father. he had been great friends with Kai’s old man and when your father passed, you were the last ‘heir’ to your dad’s gang and stayed for comfortability reasons. 

“you know there’s always openings in the League. I’ve told you more than once to leave the Shie Hassaikai,” Dabi basically lectured. you shook your head no, “I’m basically tied to Kai until something happens. he knows exactly who to talk to if he finds out what happened to me and I don’t want anything to happen to any of you.” 

as Dabi was about to speak up, you cut him off. 

“call me soft, I don’t care but I can’t just leave the girl. I know what we do to others is horrible but the girl is six and being mistreated. the smallest bit of humanity left in my heart is begging me to make sure this girl is safe. even if it is in the hands of heroes.” 

Dabi didn’t understand your thought process but regardless, he tried too. he had known you for years now and knew you weren’t as harsh as Kai or Shigaraki. there was this soft side to you and he saw it from time to time. 

“but I’ll see if Kai lets me in. just try to warn your boss about Overhaul’s attitude. the way Shigaraki walks into that meeting will set the tone for everything that follows.” 

once you explained everything to Dabi, you quickly escorted him out the bar as you noticed Chrono walking in. you put on the beak mask and scrolled through your phone as he sat next to you. he looked to the door, a bit confused. 

“who just left?” he asked. you shook your head, “no one. why?” you asked back. 

the two of you stared at each other not bothering to say much else before you got up. you gave one final look to Chrono, “tomorrow should be interesting, right?” he remained staring at you as you laughed and finally left. 

+

the following morning, you got up and showered as you received the message you knew you were awaiting on. Kai had messaged you saying that the leader of the League of Villains was going to come to the hideout to give his answer. 

you put on an outfit, something you knew might give you an edge when Shigaraki first saw you. you knew that if tomorrows meeting went alright, both Kai and Shigaraki would get off be getting off everyone’s cases for the next few days. 

as soon as you finished getting ready, you received the message that Shigaraki, seemingly on his own, was ready to be let in. you had received a message from Dabi earlier in the day that Shigaraki was in an okay mood. 

being that Shigaraki believed he had the upper hand for the meeting, he was basically walking on cloud nine. 

you put in the passcode and walked to the gate to unlock it. you quickly fixed your hair one last time and opened the gate. you felt a bit stupid that you had even went out of your to do your face considering Kai had you walking around the hideout wearing the plague mask. 

“welcome Shigaraki,” you said ushering him inside. he stared at you without saying anything for a moment, “you’re Dabi’s friend, aren’t you?” he asked. 

you felt yourself falling stiff to his comment, not really knowing what to do besides nodding. “he’s told me about you. he’s mentioned that you aren’t exactly excited to be here,” he explained, “that you might feel the same way I do about your boss.” 

“I guess you could say that. Kai isn’t the most pleasant to be around,” you felt yourself wanting to shake Dabi by the shoulders the next time you saw him for outting you like that, “but I hear you and him have some unfinished business to attend to?” you mentioned.

Shigaraki nodded as you led him through multiple hallways, him complaining about how ridiculously long the walk was. you couldn’t help but laugh. you had never been around someone like Shigaraki before. the people in Kai’s gang were either very uppity and tight or nearing to be clinically insane. 

you could tell that from time to time, Shigaraki would look at you, almost as if he was checking you out. you wanted to call him out but you knew it was best to keep any comments to yourself until the meeting ended. 

“well, here’s the room you’ll be meeting Kai in,” you murmured as you opened the door. you saw Chrono, Kai, and Mimic already sitting down, “Shigaraki, sir,” you told Kai as he nodded. 

just as you were about to leave, you went to open the door when Shigaraki grunted, “the woman stays,” he practically yelled. you stared at him as Kai sighed and motioned you back in. 

you stood behind him and in the middle of Mimic and Chrono. the two of them got too speaking about the negotiations for when everything finally went down. you heard them bickering about Kai’s offer on Toga, Kurogiri, and Twice. Kai wanted all three while Shigaraki only wanted to give Toga and Twice. 

“fine, you can have the two as long as your assistant stays with us until the mission is completed.” Kai’s eyes widened, not expecting him to want you in return. he looked back at you, as if you had a say in anything, “Overhaul, this is your mission, whatever you choose to do with me, I cant say no,” you explained. 

Shigaraki saw you basically fall submissive to Overhaul and he wondered what the hell you owed Kai to make you so submissive to him. 

“no exceptions, the girl comes with us and in return, I’ll let you borrow Twice and Toga,” he restated. Overhaul quickly agreed as you felt yourself sigh in relief and nervousness. if Kai was this quick to get rid of you, you wondered if he even valued you as a member to the Hassaikai, “what is it that you even want from her?” Overhaul asked. 

“if any of my members die in the process of your mission being carried out, she immediately becomes a member to the League of Villains,” Shigaraki said as calm as possible. you felt yourself clutch Chrono’s sleeve in nervousness, “I know who her father was and I think you undervalue her power for someone who’s high up in the Yakuza. her connections could bring us more members to the League of Villains and who knows, maybe over power every other gang who’s attached to the underground crime syndicate.” 

Overhaul remained silent as you walked yourself over to Shigaraki and stood by his side. you had no idea of what to make of the feeling that was bubbling up in your gut but as you stood next to Shigaraki, you felt the overwhelming feeling of sudden power. you knew that the LoV only had one leader but standing next to him made you feel the same way Chrono must have felt next to Kai.

“and if our mission is successful, we get her back. no exceptions,” Kai replied as Shigaraki and yourself made your way out, “we might need her in the future,” he added.

Shigaraki couldn’t help but laugh as he looked back to Kai. 

“I guess we’ll see, won’t we? she’d look great as a member of the League of Villains.” 

+

the day finally came when the heroes and the yakuza were finally going head to head. you had been hearing all of the plans from Shigaraki who had been hearing them from Toga and Twice. 

within the few days that you were with Shigaraki, you got to know him slowly but surely. he wasn’t exactly an open book but Dabi did drop hints that you knew more about Shigaraki than maybe anyone else did in the league. 

“we have the bullets in our possession,” Toga said through the walkie-talkie. you quickly grabbed the walkie-talkie from Shigaraki, “Toga, do you know if they took Eri?” you asked a bit softly, “do the heroes have her?” you asked again. 

Shigaraki gave you a confused look, “yeah, they wheeled her away in the ambulance!” Toga exclaimed as you felt yourself sigh in relief, “thanks Toga!” you said before giving the walkie-talkie back to Shigaraki. 

between the two of them, you realized that Shigaraki was planning on stopping the ambulance that held Overhaul inside. you jumped inside of the truck with them, sitting next to Dabi and Shigaraki, as you ran your fingers through your hair. 

Dabi quickly stopped the ambluance as you and Shigaraki stared at each other, “I think he might be a little to hurt to do anything to you,” Shigaraki said as the four of you jumped out of the truck and walked towards Shigaraki who was pinned to the stretcher. 

you stood next to Shigaraki as he basically taunted Kai about having the bullets that he worked so hard to perfect. you didn’t feel the need to say much as Shigaraki grabbed Kai’s lower arms and instantly started to decay it, Kai letting out a piercing scream of agony. 

“I think she’ll be coming with us, isn’t she?” Shigaraki said as he slung his arm over your shoulder, “I told you, Kai. she’s better off in the League of Villains than she is in the Shie Hassaikai.” 

you stared down at Kai before crouching down, “sorry Kai but it’s time say goodbye,” you whispered in his ear before getting back up and standing next to Shigaraki, “it’s time my quirk and connections finally be used for something,” you added on as all four of you walked away from Kai who started screaming again. 

you looked to Shigaraki and gave him the tiniest smile, “welcome to the League of Villains,” he said proudly as you nodded. you had no idea what your future held with Shigaraki and Dabi but you knew that with Shigaraki’s urge to gain power, it was going to be a lot more interesting. 

plus, you knew that Shigaraki and you had a connection, not the same one both you and Dabi had together. this one was different. different meant good, right? 

[theravencawsatmidnight]

The Sendai Frogs Unofficial Fan Club.

“Remember! We love each member equally! We cheer our hearts out! We go to every game! We support them no matter what!”

Part One.

W! Dark themes, manipulation, branding. Nsfw

You were watching a video on the Sendai Frogs on the internet when the ad came up, it read ‘ join the unofficial Sendai Frogs Fan Club!!’ In bright green letters.

Curiosity got the better of you and you clicked on the ad, it seemed pretty legit, the way it was filled out and you were a really big fan of this team so..

You clicked on the Join button and started to fill out the form.

—

A little later that same night in a dark room with the only light being a computer screen , two guys were browsing the internet. They did not talk much to each other one was jealous of the other and usually angry about something. But they did have one thing in common.. and that thing kept them from killing each other.

An eager feminin voice broke the silence though.

“So the ad is up right?!?”

“Yes Amber.” A deeper voice said, annoyance falling off his lips. “Now we wait.” He reached down between his legs to rub the girls head.” You know we love you right?”

“Uh huh !!!”

“You better, these ads cost alotta money.” Said another voice.

“Yes Mr Kyo, i know, i'm sorry for asking.”

Kyotani smirked down at the girl and Kei pushed her to his cock again till her nose was touching his chest.

“Mmf.. you gotta pay us back for these somehow.” He grinned down at the girl watching her do her best to work on his cock.

“Im next, Kei” Kyotani told him

“Just go get Yuki.”

“Yuki cant suck dick for shit.”

“Hey!!”

The men looked behind them to see another girl on the bed , she turned a light on looking grumpy. “I try my best! “

Kyotani rolled his eyes looking back at the screen in front of him, he was hitting refresh over and over. Kei also ignored the girl and Yuki got up stomping over just to get between Kyos legs to jerk him off.

Both men looked at each other smirking, what a club .

*******

Kyo was still hitting refresh not paying much attention to Yuki, he never gave her attention and she seemed to get a kick out of that for some reason so whatever. Kei had grunted under his breath after a minute and pulled Amber off of him tossing her to the side and fixing himself.

“Nice right Mr Kei?!?”

“Always.”

“Hmph.” Yuki pouted at Kei and he placed his hand on his head smiling down at her.

“Hmm?”

“I'm good too!!”

Kyo was paying zero attention, just hitting refresh over and over .

“But you wanna be better right?”

“Yes Mr Kei!!”

A ‘!’ Appeared and a frog hopped onto the screen waiting for Kyo to click him.

“Maybe Amber can show you how to do it the right way. In exchange we will take you along on our trip against Argentina .” He said, reaching down to rub Yukis cheek.

“Ya meen it Mr Kei?!?” Amber and Yuki asked him.

“Yes yes, whatever.”

“We got one.” Kyo said . “Guess who's the favorite this time.”

Kei looked up reading the application then looked at Kyo. “Must be a typo.” He teased getting up from his seat to stretch.

“Fuck off, “ Kyo put your number in his phone and pushed Yuki off him , -never any good- .. he adjusted himself and got up too. “Looks like we get to initiate a new member.”

Both girls hugged the men thanking them over and over. Kei and Kyo could not be more excited, the new ones were the funnest to break in , the more terrified they were the harder it was to get in their head, Kei loved that part of this ‘club’ .

Kyo though.. was aggressive and placed fear in their hearts in his own way, and since he was your favorite.. then this would be alotta fun..

*

In the morning you were woken up by a phone call and an unfamiliar voice. They sounded a little angry but the way they said certain words it .. sounded playful and eager, almost like they were luring you in.

“Y/n..?”

“Who is this?”

“Kyotani of the Sendai Frogs.”

“ ky..KYO!!?”

“Mhm. I'm going to text you the address so we can meet up.”

“I.. to.. today? Now? I .. your my favorite i . I'm not sure how to react.”

“I'm excited to meet you y/n, i've been waiting a long time.. to be the favorite.. you wont stand me up will you?”

“No-no! Im on my way..!”

“Thats a good y/n.”

He hung up and you flew outta bed to get ready.

**

Kyo was busy on the phone with you and Kei was setting something up on a table , his eyebrow was twitching from the crying behind him.

“Shut them up Amber!”

“Yes Mr Kei!” Amber opened a door skipping in to see Kera and Missy holding each other in a trembling state. They were chained to a bed and had dirty clothing on. Amber pat their flinching heads smiling at them. “Mr Kei is trying to get things ready for our new member! So be quiet kay?”

Neither of them could talk , they were gagged and Bound . “I dont wanna have to go get My Kyo!” She smiled tilting her head.

Both girls got quiet and Amber jumped. “Yay!”

“If you just accepted the Frogs like the Oath says you would be free right now.” Yuki said from the door.”

“More for us!!” Amber cheered .

“Ill be back.” Kyo said, putting his phone away.

“Oh yay!” The girls yipped running over to hug him.

“Bring everything you need” Kei reminded him. Kyo grunted and slammed the door where Kera and Missy were , he shook off Yuki and Amber too before leaving.

***

You were waiting at a parking lot to meet up with Kyo wearing a skirt and long sleeve shirt and flats. It was strange to meet here but you just wanted to see Kyo so you didn't mind.

A car cruised next to you and the door opened to reveal Kyo to you. You were so excited you ran over and hugged him. Kyo put his arm around your head whispering in your ear. “Nice to meet you too y/n.”

“ im.. !! I !! I mean!! Your so cool Kyo i..!!!”

He smiled, still holding you. “How nice. I think you dropped something though.”

“I did?” Slowly you let go and turned around not seeing anything. Kyo wrapped a hand around your hips and brought his other hand up to your face pressing a cloth too it.

“Easy.. easy..” he whispered. “You look so pretty like this…” you started to go limp.

“I.. do..?”

“So beautiful.” Kyo held you in his arms and gave you a kiss. “So pretty, my own little doll.”

Everything went black..

*****

You woke up unable to move your wrists and knees next to your head , looking up was still foggy but it looked like someone was sitting there and holding your wrists down . You blinked a few times when a big light was turned on above you. Your eyes slowly focused to see a happy brunette girl was sitting by your head holding you down .

“ shes awake!” Yelled the girl.

Footsteps got louder causing a ringing in your ears, Kei leaned down to look you over with a happy blond next to him.

“Morning Y/n, thank you for answering our ad”

“I.. wha..?” Everything was still foggy for you in your head.

“Maybe Kyo used too much”

“ shut up no i didint.”

“Kyo..”

he came over to tilt your head to him , he lightly rubbed at your cheek while he spoke . “I'm right here, sshh..”

“ whats.. i cant move.”. you were staring at him, everything seemed scary right now, but looking at Kyo helped.. somehow..

Kyo lifted your right leg and Kei pushed your skirt up smiling at what he saw.

“Nnh..”

“ shh.. you wanna be in the club right?”

“Y-yes..”

“Then say the Oath!” The blond said. “Repeat after me!”

A buzzing sound alerted you and you lifted your head to see Kei holding a tattoo gun.

“Remember! We love each player equally!!” The blond said .

“Re.. member we love each playERRR -“

Kei pressed the gun into your inner thigh, brushing his knuckles into your clothed heat.

“E..equally…” what was happening ?!?

Kyo rolled his eyes at that . Bull shit, that first Oath was bullshit. He squeezed at your thigh and rubbed the sweat from your head. “It wont be much longer..”

“We cheer our hearts out! We go to every game!!!” Yelled the blond.

“We..” it was very hard to concentrate on this girl, Kyo and Kei.. somehow you got the words out, between crying from the pain and losing your breath.

“We support them no matter what!!!!”

This.. this was not a club…

“ we.. support them..” you whined loud from the pain and Kei pulled away to lean up and lick your tears. “Support them no matter what..”

The frog on your inner thigh said it all.

This was not a club.

It was a cult.

**

@squeaky-ducky @zeroended @knifeewifee