#i should have an ableism tag too bc there’s. so much.

[atopvisenyashill]

i think there’s a really easy workaround for dany’s infertility and it’s that she should just do what i did in my silly female line post and pick the houses that have a female line claim and reach out to them. i think it shows very clearly that she’s not thinking about the good of westeros but only of her claim to westeros because while she thinks frequently of her infertility she doesn’t ever think about what the hell happens because of it.

and i hate the “dany’s infertility is a metaphor for her not thinking of the future” bc it’s ableist as all hell but it’s exactly the sort of thing that would appeal to george and i think it’s correct (same way the “bran the broken” nonsense is ableist but unfortunately correct foreshadowing). she could easily work around it by naming an heir through the female targ line!

a) it gets her allies in westeros and for all that she’s constantly thinking about going home she doesn’t try to reach out to any of the lords at all. her whole focus is on an army, not on making connections.

b) it might make her female line claim more palatable to the lords, if she can get a few on her side bc they have a similar (albeit way more distant) female line claim as well that might get their house on the iron throne

c) she can also make the argument that robert is doing the exact same shit bc the maesters used his grandmother rhaella targaryen’s marriage to ormund baratheon as proof of why he gets the iron throne. if he can claim female line inheritance, surely she can get fancy with it as well?

but none of this ever occurs to her. she doesn’t even show an interest in learning about westeros once she has power. when she meets barristan she doesn’t wonder at all about why he’s hesitant to talk of her family. she doesn’t ask jorah for more information on why aerys & rhaegar were overthrown. she knows viserys was delusional yet doesn’t ever attempt to unlearn anything he taught her. the smallfolk praying for viserys’ return is silly but for her it makes sense because she’s the mother of dragons - except the last time dragons existed in Westeros the smallfolk slaughtered them because they were constantly used to subjugate and terrorize people! why would they want her dragons back? why would they see her any differently than meleys blackfyre, a foreign invader with a foreign army threatening to upend their way of life?? her thoughts of westeros center on finding the red door and the lemon tree. it’s all about what westeros can do for her, that westeros can love her and give her a home, but she never thinks about how to make them love her! she just assumes it’s a given and it’s why i think she’s going to fail.

[vampiiric]

slightly serious but its been on my mind so. as someone who went through autism-specific abuse from parents as well as the american school system from a young age, i don't like people using experiences of people like me to discourage self diagnosis. like.

i've seen people in the wild saying that if you self diagnose autism, you're making a mockery of people who underwent the abuse, especially in schools. but the thing is, the schools especially knew i was autistic before i did!! they treated me as autistic long before i was diagnosed, and were in fact the ones who pushed for my diagnosis. i did an entire paper on autism specific abuse for school and did a lot of research into the topic, which is how i realized what i went through was autism specific abuse and how it affects me. and yes it exponentially affects those diagnosed from a young age but it was awful before i got diagnosed and it got worse after!! so a professional diagnosis can hurt people!

if you were able to mask well enough to escape it, i am so fucking happy for you. like. this is incredibly traumatizing. and it's really underrepresented. and if you use the trauma and abuse people like me have gone through to tell people they aren't autistic and are hurting us, don't you fucking dare. you need to be blaming the people who abuse us and who make it hard for the people who are self diagnosing to get the proper diagnosis- and make life exponentially harder for those of us who are diagnosed.

by attacking people who are just seeking help and community and understanding, you aren't helping ASA survivors. you're hurting people (who might even have experienced that!! you don't know!!) who are trying to live their life with the most understanding of themselves.

anyways this blog supports self-diagnosed autistics and autistics who didn't learn until later in life and autistics who masked so well nobody realized and autistics who didn't realize that what they went through was autism specific abuse. i love you guys. we're in this together.

[soullessjack]

so one of my other problems with babyjack is that the fandom just seems to have this sort of collective cognitive dissonance about it, in almost any context or discussion. like this post as probably my only standing example (bc it’s the only one to have gotten traction), there are all these tags about how babyjack leads to bad dean criticism, or how it’s nice in aus but they want canon complex jack, and like I’m not entirely disagreeing with that, but it is so fucking frustrating that people are still ignoring the actual problem with it and either only focusing on the most surface level issues that personally affect them or their corner of the fandom, or making up some point of acceptability for it that frankly isn’t theirs to make.

it’s the autistic experience of our struggles never being seen or cared about until they become other people’s inconveniences, and our voices being used to say something else entirely. when the main takeaway of that post is how the fandom’s treatment of jack being in a way he’s explicitly shown to hate being treated directly mirrors autistic people’s struggle for autonomy in the real world, I really do not need you to make it about how it makes your golden website boy dean look like a big meanie pants, okay? that’s definitely a part of it, but it’s not at all what we are talking about, and it 100% should not be the only reason you care.

and especially when the other takeaway is how this is just a smaller scale issue that comes from autistic infantilization, the absolute last take I want to hear is that you find that infantilization acceptable as long it’s an AU or something else separated from canon. believe me, I’m beyond glad more people actually prefer canon complex jack—like, I don’t think you guys understand that that is legitimately a rarity to find here— but the thing about babyjack is that the concept itself is inherently ableist, and directly relies on his complexities (and the representation he means for us) being removed and erased so that he can even exist in the context of those AU’s. It feels very… ‘have your cake and eat it too’ to me.

I’m trying not to sound angry or accusatory, but I am also tired of having to force civility on a problem that’s pretty much just an open secret thar everyone collectively ignores and beats bushes around solely because they prioritize #domesticdestiel over all. I mean, do you guys even hear yourselves sometimes? Like half of it just boils down to “Autistic infantilization is always bad, except for this one context where it makes my ship look domestic and redeems my blorbo,” and it’s getting really fucking annoying to have to constantly explain something that is not only painfully easy to understand, but is understood and actively ignored, and still play nice so that somebody out there might listen.

So many people will say they like canon Jack and want more of him from the fandom, and I more than agree, but motherfucker you have a blog! You have the tools! Be the change you want to see! He doesn’t have to be your fav or your blog thesis blorbo, but if you want it, you are literally fully equipped to make it! Write some meta, draw some fanart, whatever. Better yet, you could even stop engaging with and perpetuating content that actively pushes down on what you want and, I must reiterate, is actively harmful and ableist. If you want domestic silliness go right ahead, but you don’t need to resort to ableism to do it.

I don’t think I’m asking too much or asking rudely, and frankly I don’t even think I owe niceties to anyone when it’s a problem that has been openly ignored for 6 years and holds plenty of bearing in the real world concerning my identity and community and shit we face constantly. Outside of our screens, we are constantly fighting for autonomy and recognition and representation, and even to be seen as people. Online spaces, especially fandom spaces, are a huge source of escapism and support that we wouldn’t get otherwise. So for the love of god, please stop bringing that fight here.

[shirogane-oushirou]

[cw mentions of ableism. talking / venting about the sharing vs non-sharing shit (i do not lean towards supporting one "side" over the other); starts out relatively neutral-toned but i start to sound frustrated part way through. i also have a more personal ramble at the very end that has a separate cw list. it's also long... don't feel obligated to read. i just needed to say things and be Done with it.]

man. i'm ready for all of the sharing vs non-sharing back and forths to stop.

to be clear: this isn't some "i'm above this argument" thing. on the contrary; i completely see where both "sides" are coming from! i simply mean it shouldn't be so difficult for a select few shit-stirrers to Get that selfshipping is a personal thing, and we should be able to ship in whatever way makes us most comfortable.

if someone is non-sharing, they should be allowed to create those boundaries without being harassed or called "immature" or "delusional" by sharing people. beyond how supremely ableist that is, nobody has the right to say they can't view their f/os in a certain way, no matter if other people don't understand those feelings.

if someone is sharing, they should be allowed to share their feelings for a character openly with other sharing people without being sent hate from non-sharing people who think they're "loose" or who want to be their f/o's "one and only". shaming people for being open to sharing is fucked from multiple "sexual / romantic purity" and "anti poly-[sexual / romantic / platonic] relationships" angles, and nobody has the right to claim sole and total ownership over a character they did not make.

and yet, every couple of weeks, we get posts from a vocal minority making a huge fuss over "the other side", when it's just a vocal minority FROM that other side ALSO making a fuss. and then those vague posts leave their intended orbit and cause more mis-worded posts and misunderstandings and off-the-cuff bigoted statements, and the cycle starts again.

we should theoretically be able to respect each other while focusing that energy on, oh i dunno, chasing harassers out of the community? getting selfshippers who aren't part of a specific marginalized group to help selfshippers from that group when they're harassed, maybe?? especially when the sharing vs non-sharing Thing very often coincides with bigotry; people who are harassing others tend to not just stop at being petty or mean, they make it personal.

and -- not as important but a nice little bonus -- i would think that working towards a community that's more safe for everyone in it would also "coincidentally" (/s) get rid of the shit-stirrers, whether because they were kicked out or because they realized what they were doing and grew as people.

---

[cw ableism, vague death ideation, non-physical self harm mention]

i was originally gonna put this bit in the tags, but i think i should put it under the cut bc it's a little personal + it got too long.

also, i try to stay in my lane and not discuss details about delusions or how to approach them -- i've only experienced them a couple of times, so i'm not going to claim to know much about them -- so if i've overstepped, PLEASE let me know and i'll edit or remove anything i've misspoken about.

but coming from someone who went too deep into selfshipping in the past and worries about the mental health of people who do: It's None Of Your Business!!

delusions aren't morally "bad" or "wrong". holding deep feelings abt a character isn't inherently delusion-based and also isn't morally "bad" or "wrong". and neither of those is the same as -- speaking from experience (above content warnings come into play here) -- being obsessed with a character to the point that you self-isolate and emotionally self harm because you wish so badly that the character was real and you believe there isn't a point to life if you'll never meet that character... and this is also not inherently delusion-based and ALSO not morally "bad" or "wrong".

these separate things -- delusions, deep feelings, and unhealthy obsession -- CAN intersect but just as often don't. none are immoral, and all are deserving of being approached with compassion and respect, in whatever way is most appropriate.

negative, harmful ACTIONS that some people take in these states are worth bringing up to them when it's safe to do so, depending on the details of their situation, but the states themselves don't have any moral weight. ie, if someone's harassing others for sharing their f/o because they're in a dark, obsessive place, that is a morally negative ACTION, not a morally negative mental state. they need to take responsibility for harm they've CAUSED, not for what they're experiencing internally.

but if you're calling people "immature" or "delusional" as an insult, something tells me you're not really considering that! whether through malice or just a lack of compassion, you don't see worth in how another person approaches this community.

you aren't better for thinking of a character a certain way, and neither is the person you're being ableist towards. if no harm is being done to you or others, you're just being a dick for the sake of being a dick. listen to other people, learn, and do better.

if you think someone is genuinely in a bad mental place because of selfshipping (wrt isolating and self harm), approach them as another human being. meet them where they're at. don't patronize them, don't call them "delusional", treat them like someone who has their own thoughts and values.

they may want help, or they may not, and you have to respect them for their choice no matter what YOU think is right. there is no truly right way to approach someone who's in a dark place, but you can at least avoid saying things that FOR SURE will make them feel talked down to, belittled, or shamed. if they aren't ready now, maybe they will be ready for help in the future, and shutting them down will make them less likely to seek that help.

(i was also going to put THIS in the tags but i should probably put it here: when i say 'learn and change' i mean it as a positive. people have the capacity to learn and grow and become better; if you've said something in all of this that can be read as harmful... consider why it's harmful and why you said it.

you aren't the same person you were a year ago. 5yrs ago. 10yrs ago. you have grown and you will continue to grow. but if you can be more aware of it and grow more purposefully and consciously? all the better.)

[xycuro-illuminati]

Why do you dislike the way mcu fans portray fratt, I'm assuming you don't completely hate the ship but hate the portrayal by most fans.

I've answered this before in a few details in asks here and here but I will continue them with more info on this ask: Fratt was originally p niche in terms of mlm pairings for Matt, but unfortunately as more m/cu fans got into it, they began writing horrid fanfics including them either being extremely abusive, abo shit, ooc hell where it reads like the authors have never watched the show and only took context from gifsets of the netflix show on tumblr, to straight up ableism in terms of how they portray Matt in these stories. A lot of the good fratt writers I enjoyed have moved on from the pairing so it's just a cesspool at this point (I don't check the tag anymore but unfortunately, some of them add the daredevil comics tag and it'll sometimes show up). This goes for m/cu dd fans in general, bc the type of woobification and ableism stretches over to the m/cu mattfoggy fandom and other pairings. However, in my experience, it's so much worse with fratt. I don't see this type of portrayal when it comes to pairing Frank with other male characters, it's only when he's paired off with Matt. Examples of this type of ableism is def how fratt fanfic writers love to portray Matt as the helpless blind man that cries and whines about everything and he needs big strong Frank to be there and take care of him despite the fact that he's a grown man who is able to take care of himself. A lot of caretaker fetishes as well since they love to imply that Matt is significantly younger than Frank despite their age gap not being that huge both in the show and the comics (both of these men are in their 40s/50s) and this goes hand in hand with the infantalization. M/cu fratt fans also love to use the terms top and bottom as if they were secondary gender norms bc I've seen too many where Matt is written as the "woman" of the pairing, which is not only homophobic but ableist as well. M/cu dd fans also believe that the whole dynamic that Daredevil and Punisher has an extremely black and white in terms of their morality when it's a lot more gray than that. A lot of Catholic™ Matt Murdock tags used to the point of ooc both in terms of the show and comics which is just overall super annoying to read, especially when making some type of conflict with Frank. It literally feels like I'm reading the current dd run written by Zdarsky which btw is Not Good in terms of how he's writing Matt as a character.

Not only that, m/cu fratt fans literally write about the same fucking thing over and over again. It's either a season 2 rewrite but Frank patches up Matt, throw in some Catholic shit and ooc talk about redemption, and then they fuck. Or it's just porn with no plot. I've also seen horrible takes on the tumblr tag ranging from "Matt and Frank would adopt Peter and hang out with Tony Stank" to "Matt is in love with Frank bc he reminds him of his father/kinda looks like him too bc daddy issues 😍" to someone straight up suggesting that there should be more fics of the REAL LIFE ACTORS being together, and so many more. A lot of them def taking the whole top/bottom thing as if those are personality traits and more posts that infantalize Matt. Not only that, a majority of fratt fans are just gross in general and I don't want to interact with them overall. It's thanks to what the fratt fandom has turned into that I no longer enjoy the pairing and I'm now starting to hate it as a whole. It's no wonder why comic dd fans call it the gay ship for straight people. Looking through the fratt tag anywhere now will give you psychic damage from all the nonsensical garbage there is. If you still enjoy this pairing, then okay, good for you ig. But don't expect me to make more content for it anytime soon and I will not pull back any punches on my honest opinions about it, especially the opinions I have towards certain fans. Sorry for this super long answer, anon, but hopefully I got out all of my gripes with the pairing and how its on par with how I feel about m/cu dd fans overall too.

[raksh-writes]

What do you think about this? I’ve recently had a fight with a gang of nasty people on tumblr and my account is being reported so I’m posting this anonymously. I’ve got to share this with someone and you’re the biggest stiles fan I know.

So basically, there’s a blog on here (but I forgot the name and I had to block them) that literally HATES on stiles stilinksi and actually has it in their bio, and not even as a joke. Their whole account is based on hating him. And the fact that they have a whole BUNCH of followers and supporters is disgusting.

They say that he’s the WORST friend and character on the show and they choose to forget the fact that stiles was willing to step into that puddle of gasoline and die with scott, he helped save his life so many times, he’s been a brilliant friend throughout all their lives, and multiple times he willingly stepped in front of guns for him and tells him how much he loves him and how he’s like his brother.

They blame the nogitsune possession on him and VICTIM SHAME him for it, acting as if everything he did was his own doing, and that’s just a horrid thing to say to anyone. They say that stiles was being an abusive friend when he was hitting scott with the lacrosse balls in s1, even though he and scott came up with the plan together in order to trigger his anger and learn to control it and it WORKED! They say stiles belongs in prison and is dangerous because he’s always threatening to murder derek or peter etc (“can someone just kill him again please”) even though it’s CLEARLY A JOKE!!

But noooooo, they point out all of his sarcastic little jokes he makes (which are really funny because that’s just who he is as a person and we love him for it) but APPARENTLY he does it viscously and cruelly and he’s a horrible person for it and no true friend should talk the way he does. They make fun of his adhd, which is just ableism tbh. There’s a whole LIST of shit that I can’t remember and I wish I’d screenshotted it to expose them but sadly I lost their name. (If I remember I’ll send it to you)

But if you see a blog that says something along the lines of ‘certified stiles stilinski hater’ (if I’ve got that right) and the theme colours are pinkish (I think??) STAY AWAY FROM IT, because they’ll jump down your throat if you comment on their stuff and try to tell them they’re wrong and they’ll gang up on you and start threatening you 😣

Are they also a Scott McCall stan? Because if so, then I might have seen their account once or twice. But anyway - to be perfectly honest, I just avoid those types of people all together. I don't really go into Stiles' tag and generally don't interact or even read any type of hate posts, so you can be asured I won't ever interact with them, nonnie, I just stay away from it all to not ruin my mood ;p I apreciate the warning tho, and Im sorry you got into a nasty fight with those people 😔 I see you blocked them already, so there's not really much else I can say, besides maybe to follow people that like Stiles just as much as you do and fill your dash with positivity. I never understood or will understand the need to just pour out tons of hate on whatever - like, there's a ship I kinda came to dislike a lot (bcs hate is too big of a word, but it does irritate me a lot whenever I see it), so basically a Notp, but Im not going out of my way to shit on it. I stay in my little corner that I love to death and pour all my energy into it because that's what I enjoy ^^

I get where you're coming from, nonnie, seeing it all said about a character you love can be really infuriating and no wonder you felt the need to defend them, but I dont think those people would ever want to hear it, they're set on hating and that's honestly a bit sad - I, for one, prefer to focus on things I love and enjoy - like, how mentally unhealthy cultivating that venom must be 😔 But, anyway, I really dunno what more to say to you, nonnie. I'm glad you felt that you can share it with me, I'm very honored and hope it did help you feel at least a little bit better 💗 I think I'd just block all those people, cut myself off from those type of posts, and focus on those corners of fandom that enjoy similar things to you, and I hope the (much bigger in presence) love for Stiles will soon cover up the nasty aftertaste from this 💗

And for the end, have our lovely boy shaking his head at all this silly nonsense, he's got much better things to do, am I right? 💗🥰 (like Void ekhm-ekhm)

[yellowhearther0]

I'm genuinely obsessed with shitty live action concepts.

It's presented to Tommy like he should forgive Wilbur, despite the whole insane Wilbur situation being handled terribly

They get enough money for a shitty sequal series. Ranboo is given DID and his "evil personality" does all the bad shit. They have to some how bullshit Wilbur being alive and how it effects the story

SAME KJHGFDSDFGHJ (I yell abt it so much its terrible- if u wanna hear more abt it check the DSMP Live Action AU tag i have. I’ll tag this post with it too kjhgfdfghj)

MHM THEY WOULD- The show would already paint wilbur as some misunderstood misguided war hero whos lost everythings he’s worked for (🥺🤪✨💕) and as such they’d 100% say Tommy would be in the wrong for disliking Wilbur’s actions and they’d probably have tommy forgive wilbur at the end of the finale episode after phil stops wil from pressing the button (they laugh it off like its nothing)

As for Ranboo, even with how the show would probably do that if it was real i do very much wanna avoid doing that myself in this au (bc ableism isnt funny point blank. i’ll figure some other terrible reason at some point-) and with wilbur, they just kill him off screen and boom- ghostbur bb (man. i love using the fact that this show would have alot of plot holes to my advantage asdfghjhgfds)

[izukukuzi]

you know, i respect people who want bkg to be redemmed bc we all have our own opinions and stuff. but to me??? i want him OUT of the narrative, nothing he will ever do (just looking at what we have till now, almost 300 chaps) will be enough,nothing will happen so yeah, to me he is iredemable. is it me selfprojecting years of cruelty i had to deal with with bothableism and racism? maybe but in a word qith quirks where people can be pink red or black with no problem

(2/4) what sets you aside is your quirk. or lack of it since without it you aint even a person, and bakugou spent 10 years and MORE ruining the equivalent of a disabled child while showing how privileged he was, he is rich, has a powerful quirk, can hurt anyone and get away with it, he has both parents, he is everything izuku isnt AND yet we have to sympathize with him rather than the victim??? i dont get it.i know a lot of people want him to be redeemed but i dont understand why he has to become friends

(3/4) like if someone told me be friends with the person who ruined your youth and selfworth and just straight up made your life hell im just gonna be really, astonished and he didnt get better, it is just the narrative accommodating him, because he is like pretty much the same as the start. and something that i dont get is why people try justifying him while hating mineta,they are the same age so lets just admit that yall care about appearence rather than actual characters and flaws

(4/4) sorry i ranted dhf hdbhjcsd but like. im just tired and your inbox is one of the few places that make me feel understood ?? ;-; sorry, and love u!!! have a nice day honey bee

first, I want to address your last point, nonnie. neveeeeeer apologize for sharing your thoughts with me!!! to be honest, I became more vocal about my feelings towards bakugou because I imagined that others felt that way too, or similarly enough, and I wanted to make space for us all to comfortably talk about it. the fact that that’s working, even for one person at all, makes me feel good!!! so no apologies, and no worries babes (and I love you toooooooooo!!)

now, onward to the stuff:

you bring up a lot of points that i probably don’t have all the depth to explore in their entirety, but yes to all that ^^^^^

as you mentioned at the start, there are variations in opinions, which is how things work. the beauty of it is that everyone can take what they want out of the show/character(s) and every interpretation (within reason hdebfdbnjd) is valid. soooooooo if you’re someone who has dealt with real life discrimination of some sort (like racism, ableism, sexism, along with the other -isms) I think it’s beyond fair to not only identify with izuku, but to raise issue with bakugou and his actions. I mean, even if you haven’t felt those struggles, seeing and then calling out a character’s shitty behavior is not... a bad thing?? even for bakugou, even at the start of his “redemption.” being wary of his growth makes sense, especially when it took us over two-hundred chapters to get where we are currently.

that then leads me into the responses to the responses to bakugou dbedhd I haven’t really had the chance to speak to many people who are put off by my stance on bk, but I can sort of guess that some people grow defensive on his behalf because 1) they feel the need to justify the fact that they like him, or 2) they identify with him, maybe in a way that I, or you nonnie, identify with izuku, so they take criticism geared towards him as something personal (and as I said, this is me guessing. I don’t know shit about shit so please no one take offense or anything). and you know, when thinking about that, I believe:

you don’t have to justify liking a character, even when they’re “bad.” I know there’s lots of shiggy stans around and I would never ask any of them to justify enjoying his character (though I will continuously joke on yall for calling him attractive lmao). people criticize shig’s actions and how he operates in the plot, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still like him. the same goes for bakugou

me, in this case, disliking a character that you see parts of yourself in does not mean I have any ill feelings towards you as a person. for example, I love izuku! I think I was in the tags of someone else’s post early this morning talking about how I connect with him as a black person and how I love his storyline because parts of it make me feel seen. so like, all that in mind, there’s a decent amount of people, both in and out of the fandom, who haaaaaaaaaaate izuku. there’s a number of reasons why, and while I don’t agree with that stance, obviously, I know that people’s feelings about him do not also reflect onto me as a person because their perception of him has nothing to do with me. the same line of reasoning can, and probably should, be applied to bakugou. 

and so with all of that being said... that’s what I think is (part of) what’s going on. now, as someone who doesn’t care for his character, and being shit-talked for not caring too much for his character, I am still frustrated by it. plenty of people have already talked about the importance of holding bk accountable, and it’s okay if we get that in canon and it 1) changes how you feel about bk (because honestly, that’s what I want. I want to see him do good enough by izu and his past mistakes to like him... or tolerate him better duebndnwd), 2) it doesn’t change how you feel, or 3) it makes you dislike him more. all of these are valid reactions. what I do hope for is that people are understanding of how others feel, regardless of how it shoves against your own/the fandom’s general opinion, because they’re allowed to feel differently. 

people are allowed to problematize problematic behavior, they’re allowed to enjoy a character despite said problematic beahvior, and these things can (and should) coexist.   

okay but all this bullshit is basically me saying you’re valid anon and anti-bakugou fans/bakugou haters/whatever deserve more rights eubfudwnjndjw

[solitarelee]

I feel weirdly patronized to on parts of that 'reblog ettiquette' post, as an entire autism. It feels like they think it's objectively rude to reblog stuff that they think is too personal, but I would disagree on their criteria on Too Personal (as presented in the post). I dunno, it feels like they're kinda saying that this is (or should be?) a Universal attitude, and I don't think I agree.

Yeah, that was my problem with it too. Like, I feel like they maybe should have listened to the people in the notes talking about ableism, one, but honestly even past that it’s just. It’s so purely subjective. They’re just outlining their guidelines for how they think it should be. And sure, some of them will work on some people some of the times, but that’s... that makes for a pretty bad rule of thumb.

 There’s a much simpler way to make sure no one reblogs something on the reblog social media: indicate in the post or in the tags that you don’t want it reblogged, or post it on private so no one can, or have a sideblog no one or only your friends follow (you can have whole blogs password protected on here, presuming that feature didn’t die when I wasn’t looking), or use a social media that does have the feature of making posts that aren’t shareable, like Mastodon (just using that as an example bc it’s one I’m familiar with). 

It’s just unreasonable to expect people to randomly conform to your way of operating on social media, see my note about the whole “reblog spam” thing. Several of their “guidelines,” while not only impossibly subjective, are actively against what I would want my own followers to do. It’s just not universally applicable, and while I know they meant well, it’s just kind of self-centered and short-sighted to think your way of going about things or your concept of what’s “normal” and “proper” are universally applicable and “the correct way.”

(And before anyone starts, this has nothing to do with artists asking for exposure, which is a Totally Different Thing, they are asking for exposure if you enjoy their work bc it’s the only way they can gain an audience and, potentially, a career, same as why youtubers always ask you to like/comment/subscribe and Twitch streamers ask you to subscribe.) 

[binickandros]

i'm sorry to be bothering you with this but you're like the most active blog with the stand content, and i like your opinions. but i'm here just to vent, cause i was so fucking disappointed at the show and i actively decided "you know what i'm just gonna pretend it never happened and go on with life", but i can't. not a day goes by that i don't feel extremely mad or that i do not check on the stand tag on tumblr to check other people's opinions, and tbh i am so fucking sad i cannot let it go, you know? every day i am taken over by a wave of anger. and i know the topic of nick being disrespected and the topic of harold having a show just for him has been overly discussed. but i don't even think it matters? cause everything was so incredibly bad? i mean, it was lazy. and i mean literally everything. the only thing that would be defendable would be the cast, which is a lot of very talented nice people, but then they cast hearing boy for a deaf character (i'm not shitting on henry zaga, he's a good enough actor, but ableism, yk??) and then AMBER HEARD? they fucked up the one good thing they had going on wich was the cast... but anyway, the whole thing with the laziness just... kills me. like no character development for anyone at all. not even "main character" harold had development. you knew the exact kind of shit he was from minute 1 and nothing changed. what about frannie and stu?? simply out of no where. glenn didn't even get a backstory or flashbacks of his own?? and omg the dreams?? like... so shallow and i felt like it wasn't enough to convey how much of it permeated the story development?? i am just honestly mad and i am sorry to vent on your asks i just don't have anyone else to vent to who will get me.

Okay first thing I meant to answer this last night and somehow...didn’t idk. Second thing, you’re not bothering me IN THE LEAST so don’t worry about that!! Third, and I say this as someone who’s been on tumblr a while and absolutely no criticism is meant, but when did tumblr start allowing asks this long?? This is like a fan mail of old.

Anyway...a cut bc y’all know why...

God DAMN it makes me so mad bc of the wasted potential. Like you’ve got this book that’s beloved by millions, one of the most popular books written by one of the world’s most popular authors, and like. There’s not much you need to change!! Mostly it’s updating things!! Say what you want about SK, but the man KNOWS storytelling, and with the exception of some bad tropes he uses too often and outdated depictions, he knows character development!! Like it is literally RIGHT THERE on the PAGE!!

So okay you don’t wanna make a shot-by-shot adaptation. That’s fine!! I don’t mind adaptational changes!! What bothers me is when you change things to the point that someone new to the material doesn’t “get” it. I mean duh obviously anyone can get the basic plot of the The Stand, but I mean like how...new ppl don’t understand why Nick’s death is a big deal. They don’t get the importance of the dreams. They only see “magic” in Flagg, and not in like...the entire fabric of the world King’s built. And also they aren’t fucking pissed at the US Military for starting the whole gd thing, and then acting like such dicks about it.

That’s the hardest pill to swallow for me: the letdown. I was so excited about having a new, updated Nick. More Nick!! Because it’s 9 hours!! Nick signing?!? I hate ofc that they cast a hearing actor, but there wasn’t anything I could do to change that, so I was hoping that at least they’d be, like, accurate in their portrayal of a deaf-mute character. But then they WEREN’T and it was BAD and LAZY.

I just see LAZY written all over this in mile-high letters. Coasting on King’s bonafides, trusting that fan allegiance alone would paper over their flaws and let things slide. I keep comparing it to Game of Thrones, but honestly that’s what it feels like. D&D were such lazy god awful HACKS, and it wasn’t finally until the last couple of seasons that fans started waking up to that fact. Boone & co didn’t have the benefit of goodwill from earlier seasons, so they’re getting roasted right away. As they should be. Nadine’s lack of gray hair = Dany’s lack of purple eyes. Lack of focus on the dreams = lack of focus on the direwolves...and it all just goes downhill from there.

I just wish for every adaptation from now on we could have a little committee in the room that calls the showrunners out on basic misunderstandings about the work they’re adapting. “Oh it’s just hair color, who cares??” “Well 1) a lot of ppl, but also 2) maybe it would be okay if you ALSO didn’t make all these other changes that clearly demonstrate how little you care about fundamental worldbuilding here...”

But!! That group is allowed 1 (one) token straight white male, and the rest have to be POC, women, and the gays. And a mixture thereof.

Literally I think 90% of our problems could have been solved by diversifying the writing room. Because even if they made adaptational changes we didn’t like, at least they wouldn’t be shitty white boy changes rife with tokenism.

[sea-chief]

A friend of mine is looking for comics that have representation for gay people, and I know they're a weeb so I'm thinking about recommending Killing Stalking. But I've heard about Killing Stalking being problematic and showing an unhealthy relationship, can you plz elaborate bcs I'm not too familiar with the anime genre

Oh woof. Before I get into this I want to say a thing

If this ends up in the KS tag and you want to defend your love of KS or whatever I don’t want to hear it and I will block you. I’m not going to discourse this again, leave me alone. KS fans have been shitty enough to me in the past

Anyway, anon. KS is a psychological horror manhwa, and afaik it isn’t even supposed to be a portrayal of a healthy relationship. The plot is that the main character, who I’ll to as YB to try and keep this out of tags as much as possible, is stalking a college student (SW), and at one point breaks into his house while he’s gone to find out he’s a sadistic serial killer. SW gets back and finds YB, and then kidnaps him. The rest of the story just follows SW’s heavy abuse and torture of YB, who is still in love with SW. The story itself is about a toxic and unhealthy relationship.

The problematic stuff comes in later. Some of it can be debated (is it misogynistic vs is SW being misogynistic a character flaw) but my biggest problems are a.) the ableism and b.) the fans. Many fans, including ones I’ve dealt with in the past, romanticize the relationship a lot, and are just generally horrible. The ableism comes in in the fact the writer did not mean to write SW as being either bipolar or having BPD (I don’t remember which, sorry) but then being like “ah it fits him!” when making and/or coding abusers/villains as having bipolar disorder/BPD is an incredibly overused ableist trope that has rendered almost ALL characters with those disorders as being shit people.

Basically, I do think that it can be enjoyed, like most things, with a very critical eye because at the very least most of it’s issues stem from the “psychological horror” thing but to me it feels kinda torture porn-esque, and I personally can’t imagine reading it due to my own issues, but also I just? Generally don’t think you should recommend it as a comic for gay rep bc it’s not supposed to be good gay rep, it’s supposed to be a serial killer abusing the shit out of someone.

[liquidstar]

Hi! Sorry to trouble you like this, I was wondering if it was okay to ask you a question about how to tag something properly? (Been trying to get better at tagging recently). I wanted to ask first in case you weren't okay with mentioning the heavier content being tagged and stuff. If you can't answer that's fine!

ill do my best to write a guide as straight forward as possible but sometimes i end up needlessly elaborating lol, but ill do my best to help out anon! ironically i wont be tagging things in this post bc im gonna talk about a LOT so im putting it under the cut

what do you tag?

first of all there are certain topics that should always be tagged even if you havent been explicitly asked to tag them. these include: pedophilia, incest, rape, discourse, reblog bait, and things like homophobia, misogyny, racism, ableism, antisemitism, etc.. basically any type of oppression because people shouldnt have to be constantly exposed and reminded of their trauma in regards to it. just to be safe, anytime anything sensitive is being discussed tag it as whatever that  is. 

anything else would be something that people have explicitly asked be tagged, either in their abouts or though an ask to you. these things can vary wildly and you should never ask why someone needs something tagged even if its weird. everything from “religion” to “boiled eggs”

when do you tag it?

im going to use “homophobia” as an example here, but it can apply to anything. here are examples of when to tag it

if the post is sharing a news article reporting on something homophobic, ex. a report of a hate crime or homophobic law being passed

if the post is a gay person talking about their experiences or the general experiences of gay people in a homophobic world

if someone in the post is being homophobic, even if theres a snarky reply. like a screencap or reblog of a very homophobic post with some type of comeback. the post itself still contains homophobia

if the post is a discussion on homophobia

if the post is a scene from a show that features homophobia

if homophobia is mentioned literally at all

i could keep going but the word “homophobia” is starting to sound fake. just always tag it! always! there are a billion examples. rule of thumb, if you ever have to think “should i tag this?” the answer is yes, you should

how do you tag it?

there are lots of ways to tag stuff, but that just makes it harder to navigate this place safely since people like having 100 different methods of it. generally, id say its best to just tag it as the thing itself, if the issue is misogyny, just tag it as “#misogyny” and nothing else. however with topics like pedophilia, incest, and rape, i think adding “tw” might be important so people dont think youre actually posting that stuff. generally people tend to blacklist “[topic] tw” and “[topic] cw” so if you want to add those on thats fine. also if something is only very lightly mentioned, you can tag it as “[topic] mention”

DO NOT use anything like // or / or ~ or ^ or - or * or anything else like that!! the reason that adding slashes to the ends of tags like that is a thing is because of old blacklisting extensions that arent used as much anymore because tumblr has its own blacklist, and unlike those extensions the post is blocked based on the tag itself not a single word in the post. it does nothing except for make it so it wont hide the post to people who have actually blacklisted the word.

misc.

DO NOT CONFUSE REBLOG BAIT WITH TAG GAMES!!! reblog bait is stuff like “reblog or else your mom dies” tag games are stuff like “reblog with your favorite color”, tagging them as reblog bait only makes them inaccessible to people with ocd and paranoia and other issues like that, excluding them from fun games. its like if you had a friend who was allergic to strawberry juice but loved raspberry juice, so to keep them safe from strawberry juice you label ALL red juice as strawberry juice and now if they want raspberry juice they have to take a leap of faith. of course... some people need both tagged and if they also ask for tag games to be tagged, tag those too!!  

generally, its a good idea to always tag different fandoms and ships. some people need those tagged for one reason or another, but it also helps you stay more organized. 

thats all :) good luck friend

[stelashe]

hi, this is kind of awkward but i didn't want to like the post you reblogged lol, but i really like your tags on it and agree so much about the ableism. i hope you have a nice day 💛

Oh thanks! Feel free to do whatever you like with posts on here, you are the one who should be comfortable, no one else. That post ,ugh, it pissed me off bc if you are a certain age and kill your time on tumble or fandoms means that you have no way to recover or cope with mental illness???!!!saying to people you're a lost cause is so damn dangerous and mean. Maybe I'm too sensitive but at least I'm not a Dick. Have a nice day/night and stay safe 💕

[eforest]

Oof my school is threatening to homebound me/take away my credits/fail me bc I miss bc I’m chronically ill..even though I have doctors excuses.. bro....Nd my fam keeps telling me how I ruin their life bc I’m disabled :((

that’s all really really awful, I’m so sorry you’re going through that!

I just want to quickly say that my answer to this is all going to be from personal experience so I’m sorry if it isn’t very informative and more just what my general ways of going about this were as I don’t really have much knowledge on this other than that. I’m also not entirely sure if all of this is the same in other countries. It’s likely also going to be a bit rambly due to it being late (I want to answer it rn regardless and it’s not like any trouble I just wanted to let you know that real quick).

My school ended up doing about the same before I ended up having to drop out due to my health. Especially the school I went to before having to switch to special ed, so I’m not too sure about how to actively handle it. But do you know if it would be possible to try and arrange a talk with your doctor and the school staff if you haven’t already done that?

I ended up usually taking my therapist/psychologist at the time along who’d also explain my physical illness parts and be the like contact person regarding all of it. For me that ended up helping a lot as they’d make the deals regarding it in the talks and because they were speaking to a medical professional they were a lot less likely to be as bad about it and when the deals were made they couldn’t just disagree again after (to ensure that I recommend getting a black on white statement from them that those are in fact the things you decided on).

I’m not sure if your school would be willing to do this, but what could also help is trying to ask for accommodations that they feel still qualify as a replacement for what you have to miss? Such as maybe even asking for video recordings of lessons and different assignments to replace an assignment you can’t do. Offering things like that tends to make them see you as actively motivated/trying and cooperative. While you are either way, that’s basically just some bootlicking which can help sometimes. 

I eventually ended up being able to drop several things, not do all the homework, get extensions, etc. but that might’ve been due to this being at the special ed school. At the school before that I ended up being able to for example not do PE and instead for example needing to an essay in its place. I also ended up being allowed to make up for the time I missed through doing a bunch of tests that summarised the work from the year. (Sadly though in the end they wouldn’t let me pass even after meeting all their requirements because some teachers were just rlly ableist and wouldn’t grade my work and made it so I had less time on tests etc. but that doesn’t need to be the same for anyone else! them not letting me pass was the reason I switched to special ed where they did let me pass.) 

In the end with the special ed they even went as far to allow me to purely focus on my end year (mostly from home) and just the exam related and absolutely required things as well (this was before my actual end year too) so generally these types of things /should/ be a possibility for them to offer. 

Which reminds me, if it’s at all option, switching to special ed can generally open up a lot more possibilities with these things, and staff/teachers tend to be a lot more understanding there! But I know that’s not an option for everyone, I only got to because my therapist at the time practically forced it onto my family as the only option at the time after all the problems with regular schooling, on top of living somewhere where this is an option at all.

Generally speaking, I think it might actually be illegal for them to do these kinds of things so that might be worth looking into and potentially fighting as well if you can manage to with the help of doctors and such. Maybe even just looking into the rights you have with this and letting them know you’re aware of those. But I know that’s really difficult when you’re already struggling as much. If it comes to that it might be an option to have others mostly figure it out for you like support workers and such things if the doctor(s) you have can’t.

I also want to add that if these things still end up inaccessible to you, that dropping out entirely when you can or doing something like GED instead is not in any way worse, and that you’ll still be able to live your life in ways that work for you. I’ve dropped out myself and I’m currently getting on disability benefits and will be moving out early next year regardless. The road that gets laid out for you originally isn’t the only way, and for many people not even an option and there is absolutely no shame in that. 

Regarding your family, I’m really sorry you’re stuck with as ableist family. I know what that’s like and it’s really nowhere near okay for them to treat you that way! I know there isn’t much I can do regarding that sadly but keeping my fingers crossed for you that they’ll become more educated and understanding eventually. 

I really hope it’ll be an option for you to get away from them sooner than later if not because it’s really terrible to be in that spot and their ableism can also be really affect your health. And that once you’re away from their influences at least that you get to surround yourself with more supportive and understanding and generally good people! 

Please also try your best to remember that your disabilities will never be your fault and that none of these things make it okay for these people to treat you this way. Ableism is generally too light of a word as it’s just a form of abuse. Deciding on having a child means also deciding to care for and love said child no matter what turns their life take and this includes any forms of disability. You’re not ruining absolutely anything for them. Your disabilities in no way make you a burden, worse child, or anything like that, their ways of responding to this just make them horrible people.

I hope any of this could be of help and I’m sending lots of support, love, and solidarity your way. Please know that if you ever just need to vent or anything like that my inbox and DMs are open! ♡

I also want to quickly ask if you’re okay with me reblogging this to my mental and physical health blog @schizospoonie to put it in my advice tag there (a collection of asks I’ve answered in ways like these).

[lovingrot]

tbh the reason i say anything abt thinspo blogs at all is because i have far more thinspo blogs COME ONTO MY BLOG AND IGNORE MY DNI than any other type of triggering content. when more pedophiles were coming onto my blog i made a big point of telling them to fuck off. i do block tags, and i do block blogs, but there is literally no way for me to mass block every single thinspo blog on this site lol. like telling me i 'dont have to see shit that i dont like' is kind of stupid bc even if i did follow your advice and block (which i do anyway) i would still have to go on their triggering blog to do so (which i do. and it triggers me).

and the thing is, i DONT have a problem with ed blogs in general. the problem lies with the thinspo blogs who go onto non thinspo blogs and trigger people with eds because these people are too STUPID and SELFISH to keep their shit to themselves and their own. framing them as helpless victims of my 'going after them' when they are coming to me is very telling. like i also have an eating disorder, i am in just as much pain as these people, ive only stopped making excuses and using bad coping mechanisms (like cultivating a blog entirely devoted to reminding myself how disgusting and fat i am and how no one will love me until i starve myself)

tbh the reason i say anything abt thinspo blogs at all is because i have far more thinspo blogs COME ONTO MY BLOG AND IGNORE MY DNI than any other type of triggering content. when more pedophiles were coming onto my blog i made a big point of telling them to fuck off. i do block tags, and i do block blogs, but there is literally no way for me to mass block every single thinspo blog on this site lol. like telling me i 'dont have to see shit that i dont like' is kind of stupid bc even if i did follow your advice and block (which i do anyway) i would still have to go on their triggering blog to do so (which i do. and it triggers me). thing is, i DONT have a problem with ed blogs in general. the problem lies with the thinspo blogs who go onto non thinspo blogs and trigger people with eds because these people are too STUPID and SELFISH to keep their shit to themselves and their own. framing them as helpless victims of my 'going after them' when they are coming to me is very telling. like i also have an eating disorder, i am in just as much pain as these people, ive only stopped making excuses and using bad coping mechanisms (like cultivating a blog entirely devoted to reminding myself how disgusting and fat i am and how no one will love me until i starve myself)

and also yes, if someone has a blog of pictures of gorey self harm cuts and posts about how you should cut yourself because you are disgusting and dont deserve to live and deserve to be punished etc, they ARE promoting self harm and using bad coping mechanisms. like was that supposed to be some sort of gatcha?

people CAN use their blog as a diary of sorts to talk about their feelings (whether thats about how they feel like they should self harm by starving themselves or cutting etc) but when it becomes a bulletin board of reminders of how disgusting they are and dont deserve to be happy until theyre skinny (or to keep it vague, dont deserve to be happy at all and only deserve the pain of their self harm), that no longer deserves to be labeled as an outlet or 'good coping mechanism' if a coping mechanism at all. thats literally just giving in entirely to your illness and using it to cry ableism whenever someone points out that it is entirely harmful and not actually good in any way.

i understand that not everyone can afford a therapist (i cant either) but when you refuse help from others who are struggling with similar issues and know your pain, and know what does and doesnt help, and have gotten themselves out of that hole, you lose the right to say that NO ONE is helping you. if your entire coping mechanism is just circlejerking each others starvation habits and calling that "coping" you need to take a step back and think about what youre promoting for yourself and the people you call your friends

[briankang]

lmao u white able bodied straight cis bitches are the most annoying thing on this website so much that you can’t even let us have a selfie night to lift us up. @ofrunningfoxes & @nliallofficial‘s selfie nights on @swiftiesofcolor were what helped me come out, what helped me become more proud of my disability and sharing selfies of myself on such a large scale and not being afraid of my own body. it was never for taylor’s attention and bc you self absorbed narcissistic asses can’t handle the fact that taylor saw it Once without giving you attention you’re losing your goddamn minds and trying to take what isn’t even YOURS to begin with. you don’t have to deal w/ the constant racism i see in my mutuals inboxes. the constant barrage of homophobia. the ableism in my own fucking inbox. you’re too stuck up your own ass to care about that because i know GODDAMN well you don’t participate because that would require a level of empathy you don’t have.  shut the fuck up, get out of our tags, and get the fuck offline and learn how to be a decent human being, because you care so much about getting taylor’s attention, you do things that she’d find downright disgusting, and she should, because it is.