#i should do my uni work but alas

[gooutandtouchtherain]

s21 of svu sucks ass pass it on

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

sending a good vibe to the poor twenty or so mice in ur trenchcoat for this essay 🫡💕🩷💖

🥺🥺🥺 sweet little angelnon . i am scooping up your vibes and kissing you on the lips ..…. thank you …….. will do my very best to make you proud !!!!!!!!

[dear-future-lovers]

penetration is so very appealing to me but i’ve never been able to do it in a way that actually feels good :( and last night i lowkey was fuckin myself w the estrogen applicator and i was like wait i kinda get it?? i kinda get it? and then i went to the bathroom and was bleeding because i hurt myself so like. fuck me i guess idk.

[whoviandoodler]

I need to figure out stuff to do sometimes soon I'm wasting away indoors

[an-au-blog]

more zosan reversed tropes bc uni wants me dead and this is my way of coping:

not fake dating, but where everyone is super convinced that they aren't ACTUALLY dating...

One day, Zoro and Sanji call everyone over and announce that they are getting engaged. It comes as a big shock to almost everyone because: 1. they say it too matter-of-factly, with disdain almost; 2. they never told anyone they were dating. Luffy, being Luffy is very happy for them and tells them they can't get married if he doesn't wed them as their captain. They respond that they never expected anything else. Robin and Franky congratulate them, Brook starts getting ready with the music, but Nami and Usopp? Nami and Usopp couldn't believe it. And they refused to let everyone else believe this lie. They decided that both Sanji and Zoro are lying, but why??

They make a makeshift investigation, but it turns out that Luffy and Robin genuinely believe them, Franky and Jinbei think it's none of their business and they can't bring themselves to break it to Chopper and Brook because they were too happy to attend a wedding. Soit was up to Nami and Usopp to prove to everyone else that there was no way they're dating.

At first they start looking at how they interact with each other. It was obvious they were faking it - they never started bickering and fighting and even when they just sat in silence Sanji would throw a ladle in Zoro's direction because he's snoring too loud. Or Zoro would make a biting comment about Sanji and it would start all over again.

But that was how they usually were, so it wouldn't prove much if some of their friends were so willing to accept their announcement at face value knowing they act like this. So Nami takes upon talking to Zoro in private, while Usopp talks to Sanji in private.

At first, Nami starts telling him how she would take money off his debt if he tells her the truth, but then he says the same thing that he said to the crew. That yes, the cook is a pain in the ass, but they love each other and want to get married. She threatens to tax him for lying, but he keeps insisting there's nothing else to say. She meets up with Usopp again, hoping that he did a better job than her, but he just said that Sanji caught onto him from the start saying it's for real and whatever he's scheming will not work.

They change tactics and switch partners, hoping that Nami will have more luck with Sanji, as he can't say no to her, and Usopp can try getting under Zoro's skin.

Usopp starts off by telling Zoro about how a great swordsman should have a nice and powerful partner, mentioning Hiyori, but then the unexpected happens and starts almost defending Sanji as his choice. "Sanji is stronger and nicer than her." "He's a worthy opponent and we already have the same priorities (Luffy)", "He's stubborn and driven, it's great." he says it all with a shrug and Usopp almost feels like he misheard him. "But you always fight?" Usopp says as a last resort. Zoro smiles widely "Yeah, it keeps me on my toes, my blood pumping. I love him so much, Usopp."

The sniper wasn't sure he wanted to prove they weren't a couple anymore. In fact he was starting to believe them. Nami came back with an equally defeated face. Nami tried using her charm, but Sanji kept going "Alas, my dearest Nami, Zoro and I are really getting married, unfortunately it is no joke. Unless you'd like me to take you out on a date!" And in desperation, Nami said "yes", but then Sanji flipped a switch. Saying there's no way, he was just joking and he'd never do that to Zoro. He's done self sabotaging and he really doesn't want to ruin things for them.

Robin overheats then and goes. "Oh, why didn't you ask me. I've seen them sneaking into toilets and private places like teenagers for months now."

And the theory had been debunked.

[belovedhoon]

hibiscus

pairing: renjun x f! reader fandom: nct dream

a/n: i've been working on this for so long...I started it at the beginning of Jan, but uni started and I was BUSY! but alas here is a new fic! i hope you guys enjoy! <3

wc: 5.8k words contains: boat crash, smut, fluff, angst (obvi) taglist: @shypen @st1llm0nster @squoxle

synopsis: to take a break from your stressful life as a journalist in seoul, you decide to go on a cruise to hawaii. but on your way to hawaii, the ship encounters a huge storm causing the boat to crash. you think for sure you’re dead but when you end up on a remote little island, you don’t know whether you are lucky or doomed. when you awaken on the island, you notice you’re not the only one to survive the shipwreck. that’s when you meet renjun, who appears to be handed the same fate as you. it’s up to just the two of you to survive, your survival and rescue depends on each other.

fic under cut >>>>>>>>

“Yes Mark, I’ll let you know when I arrive in Hawaii. I’ll be fine! I’ll talk to you soon.” You said to your brother on the phone, trying to ease his worries about you traveling to Hawaii alone, which wasn’t unusual for you, you were a journalist after all. “I love you too Minhyung, stop worrying so much! Bye!” You said pulling out his government name to stop him in his tracks from rambling again, before hanging up before he can try to convince you to get off the cruise ship. You chuckled shaking your head at your brother’s worried nature. It’s not like you haven’t traveled alone before, you’ve been all over the world, seeing as it is your job to travel and to report stories happening around the globe. ‘This is gonna be good for me, to travel with no worries of work, I haven’t done that in a long time.’ You thought to yourself, heading to your room on the ship. 

You scanned your key card to your room and walked inside taking in the surroundings. It was really fancy inside, not that you expected any different, you had splurged and purchased a nicer room, just because you thought you deserved it. You placed your suitcases on the ground by your giant poster bed and decided to shower before you went out to grab food and explore the ship. As you made your way to the deck, you heard a weird noise but brushed it off thinking it was just a normal mechanical noise from the ship. You continued further onto the deck looking out to the sea, and wow how beautiful but dangerous it was. You would soon realize just how dangerous the ocean was, you just didn’t know it yet. 

As you are walking around the deck, you feel the boat swaying more than you have felt it do so the entire time you were on it. You look up and notice the storm, realizing that must be why the ship is swaying so much. A slight worry goes through you but you bury it down with the thought that cruise ships encounter storms all the time, you were just being paranoid.

Then all of a sudden a huge wave hits the ship, jarring it so much that you tumble, a shriek leaving your mouth at the sudden movement. ‘Maybe I should head back to my room, I’ll be more at ease there.’ You thought to yourself. As you are starting to head back towards the inside of the ship, another bigger wave hits the ship causing the ship to jar violently. You turn around to look at the storm, just in time to see a catastrophic size wave heading towards the boat, but before you can run, move, or do anything, the wave hits, tossing you so hard that everything goes black.

You blink your eyes slowly, a pounding in your head as you finally open your eyes. When you do open your eyes all you see is brightness, thinking that you are for sure dead. Then your eyes adjust and you turn your head slightly to the side and realize you’re on sand. You turn to the other side and notice a body lying about 10 feet away from you. ‘Oh my god, what happened?’ You think to yourself, when everything comes rushing back to you and how the last thing you remember is being on the cruise ship and a giant wave coming towards the boat, and you being paralyzed in fear. 

You sit up slowly, the pounding in your head getting worse the more you move around, but you need to know where you are and if that person is dead… You get up slowly, your legs wobbly, like you’re a baby dear learning to walk and make your way to the body of what looks to be a man. As you approach the almost lifeless man, he shoots up and sputters out water, turning his head side to side frantically, causing you to jump back startled. 

“W-who are you?” The man asks, his voice raspy from the water that just came from his lungs. Your eyes widen and you stare at him for a second before you reply.

“I-I’m Y/N..” You say quietly, studying the man. The man mumbles something quietly and you think he says something along the lines of “Y/N…that’s a pretty name..” finding it odd that, that is the first thing he thinks in this situation but don’t question it. The man turns to look you in the eyes before looking you up and down as if he’s assessing your condition.

“Are you hurt…?” You trail off when you realize you don’t know his name. The man shakes his head, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans against the tree close by him. 

“I’m not hurt…just a little shaken up.” He replied, his tone almost nonchalant for the situation, his eyes still fixed on you. You too keep your eyes on him assessing him the same way he did you. 

“Oh um, that’s good I suppose…what’s your name?” You ask awkwardly, not really knowing what to do in this situation. He chuckles softly, the sound soothing, as if he were waiting for you to ask him his name the whole time. 

“My name is Renjun.” He said, his gaze still intense and unwavering. You nod, testing out his name, “Renjun”. He hums in response, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips as you say his name again in confirmation. 

“Well Renjun, do you have any idea where we are?” You ask him. He looks around the area, his expression serious as he takes in his surroundings. You do the same and notice that it appears that you are on some type of island. 

“Um no idea, it looks like we’re on some deserted island of some sort,” Renjun replied, his arms still crossed. How is he so calm about this? Must be in some sort of shock, because you felt like you were 2 seconds away from having a breakdown. 

“Yeah, it looks like it. What do we do? How do we leave?” You ask frantically. Renjun pushes off the tree and begins to walk around, inspecting the surroundings more closely. 

“I-I don’t know. We’re going to have to wait until rescue arrives or find a way to signal for help.” Renjun says his eyes scanning the shoreline and then the trees surrounding the back of you two. You follow behind him. 

“That’s a good idea…Should we…do you think we should try to find other people?” You say to him, which causes Renjun to stop in his tracks. He turns to look at you studying your face, not knowing how to say this without making you panic even more. 

“No, I don’t think there are any other people here. We’re on a deserted island remember?” He said his tones indicating that he thinks you should have realized that already. You scratch your neck sheepishly, feeling silly for asking that when it was clearly just you two present. 

“I suppose that was a dumb question. Sorry.” You say to him avoiding eye contact. Renjun lets out a soft chuckle, a hint of amusement in his eyes before he replies.

“No need to apologize. We’re both still disoriented from the crash.” Renjun says softly, his voice gentle as he approaches you. 

“I guess so…” You say as you take in your surroundings. “Should we find shelter? It looks like the sun is going to go down soon.” You finish. He nods his head in agreement, looking up at the sky.

“Yeah, we should find shelter before night falls. We don’t want to be caught in the dark without a place to stay.” Renjun says, scanning the area and searching for a suitable place to take cover. You nod your head, following after Renjun to find shelter. He leads you further into the woods on the island, looking for a spot that is both dry and safe. Finally, he spots a small cave, hidden among the trees.

“This should do.” He said, gesturing for you to follow him inside the cave. You follow him inside the caves entrance and the first thing you think is that it’s cold inside. 

“Okay…I don’t suppose you know how to start a fire do you?” You ask looking at him. Renjun just laughs before smirking, his eyes glinting with confidence. 

“Of course I do. I’m not completely useless you know.” He says, walking over to gather some dry wood and sticks from the ground. Your eyes widen at his words and you stumble over your words blushing.

“I-I didn’t think you were!” You say frantically. He glances back at you, a hint of a smile on his lips as he sees your flushed face. 

“Oh? But you’re flushed, are you sure you don’t think I’m useless?” He teases, continuing to gather the necessary materials for the fire. You sigh exasperated.

“I swear..I just know I don’t know how to. I’m a journalist for crying out loud. It’s not exactly in our job description” You say embarrassed. He just chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. 

“No need to explain yourself, I was just teasing you. Journalists have their own skills and starting a fire isn’t one of them I suppose which is okay.” He said stacking the gathered wood in a neat pile in the cave. You smile softly at his words and nod your head.

“Yeah…so what do you do for work Renjun?” You ask trying to make small talk. He glances at you as he begins to arrange the wood for the fire. 

“I’m a model.” He says casually, his eyes now back and focused on his task at hand. You process the information and your eyes widen at his revelation. 

“A model?! I didn’t know models needed to know how to start fires…” You mumble confused. Renjun huffs out a soft chuckle, amused by your reaction. 

“Well, we don’t usually have to start fires normally, but sometimes you need certain survival skills for…other things.” He said vaguely, a sly smile playing on his lips. You nod deep in thought.

“I see…” You say softly, watching Renjun so focused on trying to start the fire. “Is there anything I can at least do to help?” You ask, feeling bad, you aren’t doing anything. He looks up at you, his eyes meeting yours. 

“Actually, yes. There is something you can do to help.” Renjun said, gesturing for you to come closer. You nod getting closer to where Renjun is. 

“Okay! What do you need me to do?” You ask enthusiastically. Renjun grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

“Come here and light the fire!” He said, holding out the lighter to you. Your eyes sparkle in delight as you take the lighter from him, your hands barely brushing against each other and you spark the lighter. Renjun watches as you light the fire, a hint of admiration in his eyes.

“You did it. Good job Y/N.” he says, his voice filled with a mixture of pride and approval. You smile up at him.

“Thank you Renjun, I couldn’t have done it without you.” You say softly. Renjun smiles back at you, his gaze softening as he looks at you. 

“You’re welcome, but don’t forget, I did most of the work.” Renjun teased, sitting down beside the fire and patting the space next to him. A small smile tugs at your lips and you roll your eyes playfully.

“Right, right.” You say laughing at his gleeful expression. He laughs with you at your eye roll, clearly enjoying the banter between you two. 

“Come on, sit down, it’s getting dark, let’s rest.” He says gesturing for you to take the seat beside him once again. You nod and take the seat beside him. 

“So, what’s our plan for tomorrow?” You ask, shivering as a cold gust of wind rips through the cave. Renjun notices you shivering from the cold, wraps an arm around your shoulder, and pulls you closer to his warmth. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll need to scout the island for food and fresh water. And maybe we can try to find a way to signal for help. Renjun says, his voice low and steady. You nod your head in agreement.

“Do you…”you say hesitating, before whispering the next sentence as if someone or something else would hear you. “Do you think there’s a mountain lion or something that’s in the cave or close by?” You ask with unease. Renjun looks at you and then chuckles softly, his grip on you tightening slightly. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe from any wild animals.” He said his voice firm and reassuring. “And I doubt there are any mountain lions on this island, it’s too small for that,” Renjun said softly. You nod your head slowly at his words, feeling more at ease. 

“Yeah…that makes sense. I guess I’m just a little paranoid.” You say to him. Renjun gives your shoulder a gentle reassuring squeeze, his expression softening. 

“That’s understandable to feel that way, considering our current situation. But I promise, I’ll keep an eye out for anything that might threaten us.” He said his eyes scanning the cave surroundings, the glow of the fire illuminating his stunning features. You thank him sincerely with a soft smile and then a small yawn. He notices your yawn and chuckles. “Looks like someone is tired,” Renjun says, his voice gentle as he pats your shoulder affectionately. You nod slowly.

“I can stay up and help keep watch though still.” You say, another yawn breaking through you. He shakes his head, telling you it’s fine and that you need the rest, that he’ll watch over you. You nod gratefully at his words. “Okay, thank you, Renjun.” You say lying your head on his shoulder and dozing off. Renjun smiles fondly as you rest your head on his shoulder, his hand gently rubbing your arm. 

“Sleep well, darling.” He whispers, watching over you protectively as you drift off to sleep.

You awoke the next morning disoriented. You look around to check your surroundings and notice that the jacket Renjun was wearing the previous day was draped on top of you. ‘Renjun…wait where is Renjun?’ you thought to yourself as you looked around searching for him but not seeing him anywhere. 

“Renjun…? Renjun! Where are you?” You yell out panicking. Renjun emerges through the cave opening, carrying a bundle of fruit and berries. Renjun looks at you and notices your panic.

“I’m here, I’m here! I just went to gather some food.” He says hearing the nervousness in your voice. Relief spreads over you as you let out a sigh of relief. 

“I was so worried Renjun! I’m glad you’re back.” You say quietly. Renjun chuckles as he approaches you, and sets the fruit down. 

“Don’t worry so much, I wasn’t and won’t leave you here alone here.” Renjun said his tone serious, before ruffling your hair playfully. You smile softly at his words. 

“Thank you, Renjun…what did you find?” You ask the man. Renjun sits down beside you, sorting through the fruits and berries he gathered. 

“A mix of mangoes, berries and some wild vegetables. Not the most exciting breakfast, but it’ll do.” Renjun said handing you a mango. You smile and accept the fruit.

“This is great! Thank you!” You say gratefully. Renjun smiles as you take the mango from him, his eye softening. 

“No need to thank me. I’m just glad we have something to eat.” He said, grabbing a berry for himself and popping it in his mouth. You smile and nod in agreement. Renjun smiles back at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

“You look beautiful when you smile, you know that?” He said his voice soft and genuine. You look up at him surprised by his words, a soft blush on your face. 

“Oh, thank you Renjun, that’s sweet of you.” You say softly. He grins, clearly pleased with your reaction. You are both just looking at each other for a bit, enjoying the moment, when you remember the situation and look down sadly. 

“What are we gonna do? How are we going to leave? My brother is probably worried sick…” You say, your tone was solemn. Renjun notices the sadness in your expression and his smile falters slightly. He sighed, his expression becoming more serious as he thought about the situation you two were in. 

“I-I’m not sure yet…but we’ll figure it out. We’re both smart and resourceful. And I won’t give up until we find a way to leave the island.” He said sincerely, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. You look up at Renjun and nod. 

“I’m glad it was you I got stuck with.” You say sincerely. He smiles at your words, his eyes sparkling with affection. 

“Me too, I’m grateful it was you too, we make a good team don’t we?” Renjun said, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You smile agreeing with a cheery “We do!”

“Should we look around the island now?” You ask, with newfound vigor coursing through you. Renjun chuckles at your enthusiasm, his heart warming at your smile. 

“Absolutely. Let’s explore the island and see what we can find. Who knows, we might discover something to help us find a way to leave.” He said, standing up and offering you a hand to help you up. You take his hand, nodding in agreement. He pulls you up, firmly gripping your hand as you both stand. “Ready to go, partner?” Renjun asks, his eyes filled with a new determination. You grin and nod once again in agreement. 

“Let’s do this Junnie!” You say excitedly. He grins at the nickname, his heart fluttering at the sound of it. 

“That’s the spirit, darling.” He said, intertwining his fingers with yours, as you begin to walk. You smile softly, squeezing Renjun’s hand, thinking hopeful thoughts. Renjun squeezes back as if he can sense your positive thoughts. He can’t help but feel hopeful as well, feeling a newfound determination to find a way off the island with you by his side. As he thinks this he can’t help but also feel a twinge of sadness as he wonders what will happen once you off the island. Will you forget about him? Will you lose contact? He really hopes that's not the case. 

“What if we made a sign? Like we could put some giant rocks that say Help or something.” You suggest bringing Renjun out of his thoughts. He chuckles at your suggestion, nodding in agreement. 

“That’s not a bad idea at all. Let’s do it.” Renjun says in agreeance. You two look around for some large rocks that you could use. When you find them you arrange them in a way that spells out “HELP” large enough that it might attract attention from anyone that might be flying by. 

“That should do right?” You ask once you finish arranging the giant rocks. You look at your and Renjun’s accomplishments. Renjun steps back and admires the sign a satisfied smile on his face. 

“Yeah! It looks great. It’s definitely visible from a distance.” He says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into a hug. You grin, looking up at him hopeful, Rejun returns your smile, gently brushing a strand of stray hair out of your face.

“I have a good feeling about this Y/N, someone will see our sign and come to our rescue soon.” He says, his eyes filled with confidence and hopefulness. You nod with a small “I believe so too.” Renjun leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead.

“That’s my girl, always stay optimistic.” He says, his hand moving to cup your cheek. You blush and look up at him, Renjun chuckles at your blush, finding it adorable. 

“You’re so cute, optimism looks good on you darling.” Renjun says, gently tracing his thumb over your cheekbone, as if in a trance. You give him a knowing look before you lean up and press a quick soft kiss to Renjun’s lips. Renjun is caught off guard by the sudden kiss, but quickly recovers and kisses you back, his grip on your waist tightening slightly, before pulling back after a moment, a playful glint in his eyes.

“You’re getting bold, now aren’t you?” He teases, his lips curling into a small smirk. You just smile cutely.

“You deserve it after all your hard work…and for you know…protecting me.” You say bashfully. He laughs softly, his heart melting at your words. 

“Oh? You’re just trying to butter me up, aren’t you?” He says pretending to be annoyed but failing to hide his amusement. “I won’t deny it’s working!” He says again. 

“It’s just the truth Junnie!” You say smiling playfully, pushing his chest. You look up at the sky and see it’s getting dark again. “Look it’s getting dark again, should we head back to camp?” You ask when you notice the sun going down. Renjun glances up at your words and nods his head in agreement. He reluctantly releases his hold on you, before taking your hand in his leading you back to the makeshift camp you have set up, guiding you through the darkening forest with ease. When you get back to the camp, you stow the fire making it big enough to keep you two warm throughout the night. Renjun watches as you tend to the fire, appreciating your resourcefulness. He helps you gather more firewood and sets up a comfortable spot for you both to rest for the night. You lie down by the fire to gather warmth, before gesturing for Renjun to come to where you are lying down. 

“Come, it’s particularly colder tonight.” You say softly. Renjun nods at your invitation and joins you by the fire, sitting down beside you and pulling you into his lap. 

“You’re right, it’s cold tonight. But we should be able to keep warm with the fire and each other’s body heat.” Renjun says, wrapping his arms around you and holding you close to his chest. You smile appreciative of Renjun’s warmth and kindness. He rests his chin on your head, enjoying the feeling of having you in his arms. He gently runs his fingers through your hair, feeling content and protective of you. You both fall asleep this way, with you held tight in Renjun’s embrace. 

You awake the next morning to the sound of Renjun hitting a coconut. You rub your eyes sleepily, before getting up and walking over to where Renjun is opening the coconut. You lean against the tree next to where he’s struggling to get the fruit to open. 

“Any luck?” You ask with a playful grin. Renjun scoffs and blows his bangs out of his eyes. He looks up at you and shakes his head clearly upset at the fact the fruit is so hard to open. You gesture to the fruit asking if you could try. He steps away to let you try. You look around and spot a sharp-looking rock and beat it against the coconut, it takes a few tries but the fruit finally starts to split enough so that you can use your hands to open it fully. Renjuns eyes widen and he laughs in disbelief. 

“What the–” He starts but stops and laughs again amazed at you.  “What would I do without you?” He says to you. You just grin and shake your head. 

“Well you wouldn’t open coconuts, that's for sure!” You say playfully. Renjun just scoffs playfully and takes the piece of fruit you hand to him. 

“Well then good thing you’re here right?” Renjun says teasingly. “No, but seriously, I’m glad you’re here…” He says his tone genuine. You grin at him.

“I’m glad you’re here too!” You say just as genuine. He smiles and nods.

“Good, because you’re stuck with me darling,” Renjun said playfully. You laugh at that.

“Well, I guess you’re right.” Renjun smiles at your laughter, loving the sound. 

“Damn right, I’m right. You can’t get rid of me that easy,” he said. You snorted at his words.

“I can’t get rid of you, even if I wanted to…but good thing I don’t want to get rid of you.” You say teasing him. Renjun realizes what he said and blushes at his ignorance, choosing to ignore that and steps closer to where you're still standing up against the tree. You grin up at him and hug him to let him know you were just messing with him. Renjun hugs you back, nuzzles his face into your hair, and lets out a low chuckle. 

“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” Renjun lets out. You let out a noise of surprise, not expecting him to say that. You swallow thickly. Before responding shyly. 

“You’re right…it’s becoming harder to resist you Renjun.” You say softly. Renjun pulls away a bit and smirks at your admission, a sense of satisfaction washing over him. He then steps closer to you, closing the distance between you two until you’re mere inches apart from the other. 

“Is that so? I never thought you’d admit to wanting me darling.” Renjun says gently, yet with a hint of lust in his voice. You sigh looking away from him.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to admit that I want you…It’s just that I feel guilty because of the fact I shouldn’t be thinking about things like that when we are trapped here.” You admit to him quietly. Renjun tilts your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze. 

“Guilt? Sweetheart, you shouldn’t feel guilty for being human. And in case you haven’t noticed…we have nothing better to do other than wait.” He says his fingers tracing patterns on your skin, his touch sending sparks down your spine. You gaze into his eyes and nod hesitantly in agreement, letting out a small “You’re right.” Renjun steps even closer if possible, your bodies now flush against each other. His eyes never leave yours as he whispers to you in a low sultry tone. 

“So stop holding back, princess. Let go and give in to what you really want.” Renjun says barely above a whisper. You nod slowly and lean into him for a soft kiss. Renjun returns the kiss, his hands moving to your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. The kiss is slow and tender, yet it holds a promise of something more. He deepens the kiss, parting your lips with his tongue, tasting you as if you’re the only thing that can satisfy his thirst. You moan into the kiss, leaning deeper into Renjun. Renjun groans as he can feel your body melting against his own. Your moans drive him crazy as he grips your hips, holding you still as he takes control of the kiss, claiming your mouth with a possessive hunger. 

“Renjun…I don’t want to lie to myself anymore. I want you.” You say against his lips. Renjun pulls back slightly, his breathing ragged as he looks at you with a mixture of desire and satisfaction. 

“Then you won’t have to lie anymore, darling. I’m all yours…” Renjun says his voice husky with need. You smile and kiss Renjun again, this time the kiss is more needy. He responds to your neediness with equal fervor, his hands roaming over your body as your tongues tangle together. Renjun backs you up against the tree you were once just standing against and pins you up against it as he presses his body against yours, desperate to feel every inch of you. You moan in surprise at his sudden dominance and then begin to unbutton Renjun’s shirt slowly all while kissing him deeply. He lets out a low groan as you unbutton his shirt, the feeling of your touch igniting a fire within him. He breaks the kiss to nip at your neck, his breath hot against your skin.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, sweetheart,” Renjun says gruffly. You just smirk up at him.

“I know what I’m doing Jun.” You say sultrily. He just chuckles against your neck, nipping at your earlobe.

“Is that so? Then I guess it’s time for me to take control.” He says as he spins you around and presses your front against the tree as he leans in close, his chest against your back.  You moan in surprise at his sudden roughness. 

“Oh? Show me your best then Renjun.” You say smugly. He just smirks against your shoulder, his hands gripping your hips possessively. 

“With pleasure.” He responds before he begins to trail kisses down your neck, nibbling and sucking at your sensitive skin. Renjun’s hands slide under your shirt, his fingers tracing patterns on your stomach. You whine softly at the feeling telling him not to tease. He smirks at your whiney voice, enjoying the effect he has on you. 

“I can’t help it…You’re just too cute when you whine like that. He says as he continues to tease you, his hands dancing along the waistband of your pants. You sigh in disdain before grabbing Renjun’s hand and guiding it inside your pants.

“I said don’t tease Jun.” You moan out. Renjun’s breath hitches as you guide his hand, his smirk turning into a full-blown grin. Renjun lets out a growl as he can feel the heat emanating from your body. 

“Someone’s eager,” Renjun whispers, his fingers tracing along your inner thigh, deliberately avoiding where you want him to touch you. You roll your eyes playfully. 

“And you’re not? I can feel how hard you are Renjun.” He just chuckles and nibbles your earlobe again. 

“Oh trust me.” He whispers. “I am very hard, but making you squirm first is much more fun.” He says again as he nuzzles your neck, his breath hot against your skin. He slowly moves his hand closer to where you need him most but not quite there yet, so you take the initiative and guide his hand even further into your pants to cup your center. Renjun’s hand finally moves to where you need it most and he cups you through your underwear, he lets out a low groan when he feels how wet you are. 

“You’re so wet for me already pretty girl.” Renjun all but moans out. You nod with a smirk.

“Mhm…now do something about it?” You ask seductively. Renjun can’t help but chuckle at your audacity but lets his hand start to slowly rub you through the wet fabric of your lace panties. 

“So demanding. You really want it that badly, huh?” He asks. You nod eagerly letting out a whiney “You know I do Jun,” He hums, his fingers slipping past the waistband of the lace, finally making contact with your bare skin. You moan at the feeling. He groans at your moan, enjoying the effect he has on you. His fingers begin to move in slow circles, teasing your sensitive nub. You squirm as he increases the pace of his fingers rubbing you slightly as you can’t help but let out soft moans at the feeling of his fingers rubbing you so deliciously. He chuckles, loving the sounds you’re making for him so prettily. He moves his other hand to grip your hip to hold you in place as he starts to work you closer to the edge.

“You’re so responsive…I love it.” Renjun groans out. You just whimper asking for his fingers. He teases you a bit more before finally giving in to your pleas, slowly sliding a finger inside you. You moan loudly in response. Renjun lets out a growl as he feels your walls clench around his finger. 

“So tight and wet…You’re doing so good for me darling.” Renjun praises you. You groan and yelp out that you ‘need more,’ Renjun adds another finger, curling them up to hit that sweet spot inside you. 

“Is that what you wanted? What you needed princess?” Renjun lets out deeply. You whine at his deep tone.

“Please Jun…I want your cock…please!” You all but whimper out. He smirks, his eyes darkening at your words.

“You’re a greedy little thing, aren’t you?” Renjun teases out, quickening his pace. You yelp out a ‘please’. Renjun can’t resist your begging much more and so he pulls his fingers out of you to unbutton his pants and pull out his long slender cock. He places the tip of his cock at your entrance before slowly pushing into you, savoring the feeling of you taking him so nicely. He moans as he bottoms out, resting his forehead against your shoulder. 

“You feel so good…you’re taking me so well,” Renjun says breathlessly. You just moan, not being able to form words other than “so deep” Renjun grips your hips tightly, trying to keep his control as he starts to move slowly, pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in. 

“You’re so tight, I could stay buried inside you forever.” Renjun groans out. You moan clenching around him as you feel your high quickly approaching. Renjun can sense your high coming soon so he speeds up his thrusts, one of his hands reaching around to rub your clit.

“Go ahead, cum for me princess,” Renjun says gruffly. You scream out a quick “cumming” as you clench around Renjun’s cock so tightly. Renjun groans as you clench around him, your walls fluttering as you cum. He thrusts a few more times before he follows you over the edge, spilling inside you with a low moan of your name. 

As you both come down from your highs, Renjun spins you around and kisses you gently. You two get cleaned up and sit back down by the fire reaching for the forgotten coconut fruit and munching on it. As you eat the fruit you look up and out to the shoreline and see a boat heading toward the island you are on. You jump up and shake Renjun pointing towards the boat in excitement. Renjun sees the boat and the two of you look at each other before grabbing one another’s hand and rushing towards the shore so you can wave down the boat. 

As the boat stops a few feet away you hug Renjun close to you before you both swim out in the water to get on the boat. The people on board are hurling questions at the both of you but at that moment you can’t help but hold Renjun and sob. You two did it, you survived the island together, and now you two will go home together. You don’t know what the future holds for you and Renjun but you do know that he will forever be a part of your life.

[whaddayadothatfor]

Shit Outta Luck

Pairing: Gojo x fem!afab!reader x Nanami, mostly Gojo x Reader

Content warnings: Free use, dub-c*n, dirty talk, excessive amounts of c*m, degradation, teasing, naked female clothed male (kinda), cliffhanger

Word count: 2,595

Summary: One day your best friends Nanami and Gojo come over to hang out and help you pack to move. You end up stuck under your bed. Instead of helping you out, they help themselves.

AN: This is so ridiculous y’all. Unedited. Thanks to my bestie for hyping me up when I was writing this. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed it! ❤️

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, intended for audiences over 18+

Chapter One:

You can’t believe this is happening to you.

To think, the day has started off so normal. Maybe that should’ve been a hint. You’ve had the worst luck since grade school. You were always the kid to scrape your knee on the playground or get random bruises bumping into desks or walls. Hell, you even managed to be the only person to get bird poop on your cap and gown during your high school graduation. A series of unfortunate events. You’ve got the coordination of a preschooler and shitty luck. It’s a rare occasion when things work out well for you.

That’s why you should have been wary when you woke up early this morning, even without your alarm. You really should have caught on when the your face was free of breakouts and your shower was warm and toasty. Maybe you should’ve clued in when you found your comfort hoodie tucked squarely in the middle of your doom pile your desk chair. It had been missing for over two weeks and you hadn’t even washed it since the last time you wore it and it still smelled like laundry detergent. The last straw should have been having a perfectly normal breakfast, with perfectly seasoned eggs and a sweet coffee at just the right temperature. That really should have sealed the deal.

But alas, you’re as oblivious as you are unlucky.

Earlier

You scrolled through TikTok as you finished your breakfast and began making a mental

note of all the tasks you should complete today. Nanami and Gojo, your two best friends since uni, promised to help you bring your heavy furniture and boxes down to the moving truck and then move them up three flights of stairs into your new apartment. If there was one source of luck in your life, it’d be those two.

It was your sophomore year of college and the both of them happened to take the same upper division course you had signed up for that semester. Initially, you were nervous at being in a group with both of them, as they both were the most popular and attractive boys in your major. A feat, since all three of you attended one of the largest universities in Japan. However, you were amazed at how well you got on with both of them. You were calm enough to deter Gojo’s hyperactivity but energetic enough to bring Nanami out of his shell. For some reason, your group dynamic just worked.

They stuck to you like glue for the rest of University. You had lost touch a little after graduation, but then you had moved to the same city they lived in a year later. It was nothing to slip back into your old routine. Now, being with them both was as normal as brushing your teeth in the morning.

And it would keep working, as long as you could pretend to not notice how goddamn fine they were. That’s really why you had been friends so long. They had told you as much in University. They were sick of women on campus treating them like meat. They liked the fact that you only ever treated them like people. So, you hide how you feel about them and keep them at an arm’s length, so they never figure out the truth.

You finished the last bit of your breakfast and put your dishes in the sink before heading back to your room to finish packing up your things. The rest of the apartment was ready to go, but you had saved your room for last. Mostly because it had the most clutter and you had the worst habit of not cleaning your room well, something Nanami always chided you for. He was a stickler for neatness, after all. Anyway, Gojo said that he’d be by in an hour and Nanami said he’d come by after work, so you wanted to make sure that the bulk of your room was decluttered and packed up by then. So you set off to work, pulling up a playlist and busying yourself tidying things up and placing trash and old boxes into trash bags. After about 45 minutes, you decided to start cleaning the mess up under your bed.

And that’s how you found yourself in your current predicament.

Present

You can’t believe this is happening to you.

You really, really can’t believe this is happening to you.

You had gotten stuck, under your bed. It was like a scene straight out of a bad porno. You were cleaning up under bed, pulling different bins and Knick-knacks out from under it when your watch had gotten caught on something deep up under your bed. It was an older bed, with a brassy-colored metal box spring. Somehow, and you don’t know how (because you have been wracking your brain on how this could have happened for the past ten minutes) in the process of trying to untangle your watch from whatever it was caught onto, you tangled your hair into the box spring.

So, let’s recap:

You’re stuck. Under your bed. With your two best guy friends on the way. One of which is a notorious little shit who loves to tease you in any given situation. Your whole bottom half of your body exposed. With only a hoodie and spandex exercise shorts on. Face down, ass up.

You can’t even call for help as your phone is on the dresser at the opposite side of the room and Siri has, you think, purposely misunderstood your calls for help as a request to play Help! by the Beatles.

You don’t even like the Beatles.

The slight anxiety you had at being trapped did not hold a candle to the humiliation you’d feel once Gojo came in. You wished belatedly that Nanami was coming over first. He would have been much nicer about the whole thing. Or better yet, that you saw the signs early. You never have such an easy going day, you should’ve known something like this would happen.

Just as you were wallowing in self-pity at your own life choices, you hear the door unlock and tense up. You really regret giving Gojo a key to your place.

“Oh honey, I’m home!” His irritatingly deep voice calls out mockingly in a high pitched tone. Even when he’s goofing off he sounds sexy. You hate that about him. And when he finds you in the stupidest, most embarrassingly compromising position of your life, you know that he’ll hold it over your head until you die. Even at your funeral, he’d bring it up. You hated that about him more. You heard him plop his keys on the counter in the kitchen before calling out to you.

“Hello? Anybody home?” You remained silent, hoping he’d think you stepped out and leave. But no such luck. You heard his footsteps inching closer and closer to your bedroom. “I brought your favorite. A matcha latte,” he called out.

That jerk, you thought. He knows you hate Matcha lattes. He brought it just so he could drink it. Suddenly, you heard the door open.

“Y/N?”

You scrunched your eyes closed, desperately wishing that you could be anywhere else than you were in that moment. You anticipated laughter at any moment, but strangely it didn’t come.

“What happened?” You jumped at the sound of his voice. He sounded much closer than he did a moment ago.

“W-well, I was cleaning from under my bed and I got caught on something and now I can’t get out. Can you help me?” The embarrassment welled up inside you, causing you to stutter. Gojo said nothing for a while.

“Yeah, okay.” His voice sounded deeper, huskier than normal. It was strange as usually he put on this silly facade to lighten the mood. He was never this serious. “I’ll have to feel around a bit to see where you’re stuck, I don’t want to hurt you.” You nodded, and you were touched. A pang of guilt struck you. Maybe you didn’t give Gojo enough credit as a friend. You promised yourself you’d treat him better in the future.

Suddenly, you felt a hand caress the back of your thighs, moving closer and closer to your ass. You jumped a little.

“G-Gojo? What are you doing?”

“I’m helping you. That’s what you asked for, right?” He said, playing dumb. He continued touching you more boldly, squeezing your cheeks firmly before caressing your thighs again. You were too stunned to say anything until one of his thumbs lightly stroked your clit over your shorts. You jerked away from him, but your options to escape were limited.

“What the hell are you doing?” You screamed at him in frustration, in more ways than one. You should have never given him the benefit of the doubt. This kind of humiliation was much worse than any other kind you could think of. When you get loose, his ass is grass.

Worse, he was turning you on with his manhandling and gentle touches. You couldn’t help it, you hadn’t been fucked in over a year since your last situation ship and the only thing that had kept you company was your rose toy.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he cooed, rubbing your clit in a slow circular motion before stopping and running his hands all over your ass again. “I promised to help you. I think it’s a tight fit down there, so I’m gonna help you loosen up, that’s all. Then you’ll be able to slide right out, no problem,” he said.

His tone was saccharine sweet, but his actions were anything but. You wanted to protest, but he stopped you.

“Just relax. I can tell by that wet spot on your shorts that you’re really enjoying this.” Your face burned with embarrassment, and all your protests died down in an instant.

You focused instead on choking back heated whimpers and moans because you’ll be damned if you let him know how good he is at making you feel. And he is good. His touches are so experienced, you start getting mad at the imaginary women who taught him how to fuck that well. Although you wouldn’t be surprised if he was just naturally that good. He seems like the type.

It was almost as if he could tell that your mind was headed somewhere else, because he slowly pulled your spandex shorts and thong down in one go and that jolted you back to reality.

“Gojo,” you warned, but he ignored you as usual.

“A thong?” He questioned. And you could almost hear his eyebrow being raised.

“I packed the rest of my underwear! Plus, no one likes panty lines,” you mumble, embarrassed. He just chuckled at you.

“It’s okay baby, though in the future I’d rather you not wear anything at all.” Before you had any time to think about what he meant in the future, he licked a stripe up from you clit damn near to your ass. While you managed to stifle your moan, you couldn’t hold back the shudder that wracked your body.

“C’mon, don’t hold back. It’s no fun for me if you do,” he rang out. He paused. “Actually, try to stay silent. It’ll make it more fun for me knowing that I made you scream when you tried not to.” He chuckled, and you could feel his warm breath cover the expanse of your pussy as he spread your lips wide.

He proceeded to eat your pussy like it was his last meal.

All you could hear was him smacking and slurping up your wetness. He left no area untouched, especially your clit. He alternated between swirling his tongue around your nub and sucking on it till it was puffy and swollen. Your cries of pleasure only spurred him on, making him moan as you grinded back on his face.

Gojo attached his lips to your clit once again, humming this time as he sucked and licked all around it. It was too much. You kicked one of legs out in hopes that you’d receive a reprieve— no such luck. Gojo caught it and put it back into its original position. He chuckled with his lips still suctioned to tour most sensitive part. The sensation had you crying out, trying to run away. Finally, Gojo let go.

“Oh, c’mon. Is that all you can take? I remember all those conversations you’d have with your girlfriends, about how men never satisfy you. Can never go long enough. Are you running from me because you don’t like it? I can do more if you like.” He said teasingly. When you didn’t respond, he slapped your pussy, hard.

“You’re hurting my feelings, sweetheart. Answer me,” his tone, although still lighthearted, turned mean.

“Yes, Gojo, please, I-I can’t,” you responded, breath airy and sparse.

“Please what? I can’t help you relax if you don’t tell me exactly what you want me to do.”

“C-cum. I need to—“ you broke off your sentence with a moan, but it was enough for Gojo.

“Your wish is my command, princess.”

He worked you up until you were at the precipice of an orgasm, except this time he didn’t stop, not even after you tumbled over edge. You had never come that hard from oral, ever. Hell, you had never come that hard in general. He ate you out until the aftershocks of your orgasm died down. He stopped for a moment.

“You know, I still think you’re a bit tense. I think after another orgasm or two I’ll really be able to help free you.”

You moaned in response, still a bit out of it from your last orgasm. Gojo spit a thick glob of spit on your pussy, landing right on your hole before sticking two of his long slender fingers inside of you. It was an uncomfortable stretch and your whine said as much. You hear him unbuckle his pants with the hand that’s not on you as he shushes you.

“Just relax. I’ll make you feel good soon.”

An hour later

“Yes,” Gojo moaned out, deep and guttural, as he sunk into you. The stretch was so much worse than his fingers. You now understand why he made you come so many times. The burn would have been unbearable otherwise. Still, the slow sink into you had you writhing as much you could, still being trapped under the bed and between Gojo’s strong hands.

“Fuck, I knew I should have done this years ago. You feel better than I ever imagined.” You mewled as he sank in all the way to the hilt. He gave you no time to adjust as he slowly started to thrust in and out.

Everywhere felt so hot. You could hardly stand it. Gojo was merciless and soon set an unrelenting pace that had you curling your toes. It was a heady experience, one that made it hard to think about anything else except how hard and hot Gojo felt inside of you.

“I never should have listened to Nanami,” he muttered angrily.

“W-what? Are you—“

“I have been fantasizing about this moment since the moment I first met you, but I. Never. Thought. It’d. Be. This. Good. Fuck!” He shouted as he came. He stilled, his hips jumping slightly as he dumped his come into you. It only made you hornier. He languidly fucked his come deep within you. His tired voice rang out, but not to you.

“I bet you wish you had gotten here earlier, huh Nanamin?”

You froze.

[thebluntstudent]

FIVE TIPS FOR STUDYING WHEN ILL OR OTHERWISE INCONVENIENCED...

disclaimer: when at all possible, you should always prioritise physical and mental wellbeing over a good grade. If you are seriously ill to the point where it is heavily impeding your capacity to study, you are not fit to take an exam, or write an essay, and I hope your educational institute has measures for exceptional circumstances/extensions/deferrals to allow you to do so! Alas, it isn't always possible to do the ideal thing in life, and that is where my experience comes into play.

°•☆•°

Sometimes you find yourself in a crappy predicament a couple weeks before an essay is due, or an exam is scheduled, and you find yourself slipping further away from the stacl of textbooks on your desk, and closer to the comforts of your bed and the rest you really wish you had the time to make the most of.

Right now, my hormones are currently out of whack in a way that could meaning anything from (the most likely cause) PCOS to perimenopause at 22 to plenty of other less likely possibilities I'd rather not dwell on. This means that sitting up for more than 5-10 minutes in the same position sends my abdomen into spasms and sharp pains, and generally existing hour to hour is a painful, emotional, hot-flush filled experience.

That being said, I have an exam in a few days, and since deferral is not an option for me (this is my last attempt, I can't take any more time off of uni, my last attempt was last year during a period of several losses that occurred on an interruption year I had taken due to burn-out and unresolved trauma sliding into my life- you get where I'm going with the 'sometimes life is a bitch and your general and academic life can't be pretty and pristine' bit) I have been doing my best to balance comfort and productivity in a way that helps me look out for what I need right now whilst still getting in as much revisiom as I'm able to.

So! I thought I'd share my little tips for building a comfy study space when conditions are not ideal but you still gotta keep moving:

• abandon the 'do not study in bed' tip, but only for as long as it helps you as opposed to hindering you. I have tried sittimg up at a desk with pillows and blankets swathing me- and all I get for it is hefty back pain and constant awkward readjustments every time I start heating up or shift around in my seat too much. If you're ill, you aren't doing yourself any good sitting hunched over a desk either- and frankly your sleep is probably going to be buggered until you're feeling better anyways. So, if sitting at a desk is putting you off, prop up some pillows, rest your writing materials on a hard surface (a folder, an A4 hardback- a chopping board works for a cute wannabe lap desk too), and set a zone of your bed aside (or just use a bedside cabinet if you have one) for anything you'll be using fairly often- by which I mean stationary, textbooks you'll be using over the course of the next hour or so- just enough stuff to save you constantly getting up out of your comfy study bubble.

• listen to tesco: every little helps. What I like to do to get myself going when I'm feeling naff- which works also if you're simply having a difficult time focusing yourself for the day- is to do micro pomodoro sessions, where I'll dedicate myself to 5 minutes minimum of focused study. If I really can't bring myself to continue longer than 5 minutes, I'll let myself rest for a little while (up to 20-30 minutes) before getting myself to do another micro session. This may not seem very productive, but you are more likely to do a good hour of work on a bad day when you tell yourself you only need to do little 5 minute sessions, than procrastinating studying because you feel as if you'll have to sit up and focus for a much longer period of time for it to count. Every. Little. Helps. In 5 minutes you can run through a topic of flash cards, do a slide of lecture notes, answer small exam questions, do a page or two of readings- and on a good day, that 5 minutes might turn into 10 with a small break, then 15, then you'll find yourself picking up your regular pace in no time! But again, even 5 minutes, just one little session, is a win when the world is throwing hurdles at you <3

• maximise your comfort: you know the little things that bring you joy, and you don't habe to be rolling in cash to surround yourself with little things to keep you going when all you want to do is sleep. My current comforts are the loyal presence of my cat next to me, a few old blankets I can swaddle myself in to stare at the ceiling when my ovaries are throwing a tantrum, a little variety of teas (currently rocking a chai latte with home bargains vanilla syrup, girl gotta have her sweet relief), a pack of energy drinks, some painkillers, and a little incense tray nearby that I forget to use 70% of the time (though the remaining 30% makes up for that). None of this is in particular mandatory- if it were, the dog people of the world would be doomed. The point is, find your little comforts- an activity you can do from the comfort of your bed like a puzzle, sensory toy or just a book to doodle in, a certain type of drink or snack you really love, some smellies (perfume, incense, candles, wax melts, and so on), supplies for whatever ails you- little personal things to relax you whilst you try to gather your energy.

• Now is not the time to push it. I tend to find the times in which I am most likely to push myself past my limits are the times in whicj something is inhibiting me- the frustration of being bed-bound, fatigued due to chronic conditions, etc tends to make me feel even more than usual that I am not doing enough because of my awareness of my present restrictions. Though this post is about pusning through bad times, you should be doing so with self-compassion, and with the mindset that every little bit you achieve in your current state is a win, a bonus, even if you find yourself unable to work to the same standard as normal. You aren't well- you aren't supposed to be functioning at 100% because your body is only functioning at 50%, and if you want to get back to your regular stressed student self you need to rest! Remember that a slightly lower grade than you were expecting in the short-term is not a reflection on your character, and it's better to *be* better for the long-term than to work yourself into a ditch and burn-out when you are already at a low point.

• If healthy study you is a carefully rehearsed play, then sick study you is a completely improvised show. Don't knock the analogy, even if it is silly and obscure- when I am at my peak, I will time-block my studies, plan to do certain topics on certain days, do 30-5 or 50-10 study sessions, work during a set period from the morning to the mid afternoon.

When I am ill, I do not know when I will be unable to sit up to work. I do not know when I will be able to sleep, to stomach food, to concentrate- so I have to accept that the normal routines that keep me consistent have to be chucked in the bin for the time being. Instead of planning my whole day, I create a vague, rough outline of the next few things I want to get done. This way, I don't feel crushed when I start working on lecture notes and find myself flat out on my back crying 10 minutes later- I just pick up where I left off when I'm ready, and work in increments from there.

°•☆•°

Right now my sleep is a bit fudgy because of night sweats/panics and p a i n, and by building a cosy space and letting my plans adapt to my body's needs I've managed to get 3 hrs of lecture notes, 2 sets of flashcards, and a set of logic practise questkons done over night between 8pm-4:30am. If I had tried to stick to my regular 'good day' study routine, I don't think I would have lasted 15 minutes before giving up and crawling over to youtube with a bowl of white chocolate and a horlicks in hand.

It is this kind of adaptability to external conditions that allowed me to survive an unstable home situation during college that meant weeks without wifi, constantly moving between different homes and constant fear of eviction due to family debts I was too young to do anything about- and allowed me to get into the top university in London* as a working class girly from a council estate.

I was given the opportunity to do an extra year at college for free due to these circumstances and a great support network within the institute to make sure I got into the specific university that I wanted to, and I had to take an interruption after my firdt yesr of university because I am not a super-human, and I knew my limits- but I'm still going, and the time away I've had has paid off and gotten me back to my scrappy, chaotic, passionately nerdy self.

You can be messy and be a good student too- and you can get through the worst of times with a little adaptability, perseverance, a good support network and a little self care ♡

*Times Good University Guide, 2024.

[neonwizardheehee]

little work rant (I'm just having privileged first-world-problems):

why is work so frustrating? I just want to understand at this point. I have a really good job, finally nice collegues and i do what i dreamt of doing - it's insane to me how i come home super exhausted and feeling like i achived nothing for months on and on :(

i thought the switch between uni and work would take half a year, so the people said but.. it's been 2 years now and i still feel like my not-work-life is without control (i am being dramatic here, i am in no danger luckily and i have enough food and everything i could wish for it feels insane and empty)

but yeah my work place is not responding about renewing my contract which sucks :/ not that i wanted to stay there for the rest of my life but... moving to another city again sounds draining to me now bc I've only now started to meet some people here and enjoy the town for itself. (and currently are no job spaces in my work field here so moving it is if i have to get a new job, which also i smth i new when i started studying it, that i don't have a choice in the city if i want to do what i studied)

but alas i love my work field and it's not like I haven't moved before.. maybe i jsut need to accept that i won't make a home at some place but rather online and see it as a chance to see smth new again.

maybe traditional life with a huge house where people can visit me is smth my childhood-self dreamed about but not happening bc i just move too often and have to find new friends again and again

i shall miss the ones i've made here, esp bc it took me so long to get there even tho i should've know better

alas now i know not to focus only on work in a new city bc apparently this one will always be stressful and makes me feeling life i'm never enough even tho i'm trying my best (it's bc no one is telling me if i'm doing a good or a bad job KSKSKKSKS pls i need criticism so badly!! i can handle people not liking me or ´saying i'm ass.. i just wanna know okay :( is that too much to ask for?

ffs it's friday i should be happy it's the weekend, and i don't even have to work this time... and all i wanna do rn is cry like a baby bc i did smth wrong and idk what it is :(

i know it's my own fault for picking a job field so wary and having standards but pls... i don't wanna have a burnout with 30 ksksksks

[infiniteorangethethird]

hello remember when heartstopper season two came out and i sent you an ask about it?

so anyway, season three happened. have you seen it yet? how are we feeling? are you satisfied with what we got of isaac in s3? how do you feel about the season overall?

if you haven't seen it yet then uhh idk xd

how are you? how has this semester been treating you so far?

ok that's all i think. as usual, you answer when you answer (if you answer at all). bye :3

HI hello hi thank you for appearing in my inbox I've actually been wanting to reach out for a while now but alas I have been too Intimidated to say anything 😔

But in any case, I've actually just finished watching s3 yesterday ahsfdfksjdh and if I'm being honest, I... wasn't too satisfied with it, truth be told? Like don't get me wrong the story arcs we did get were very good and I'm glad the comics were done proper justice in the adaptation, but just... idk I was really looking forward to having an aspec storyline to relate to and see myself in, and the base concept of Isaac feeling like his friends are leaving him behind for their romantic partners is so relatable, but then it felt like the series itself seemed to have forgotten about that whole concept, and what we got was almost like reading one of those "what is asexuality?" pamphlets that are meant for people who don't even know what queer means.

I dunno, maybe I'm being mean here. After all, Heartstopper isn't about Isaac's story, this is acknowledged even with the original comics, so the fact that we get even this much in the show should already count for something. Still I can't help but feel like we were robbed of something that could have been so good if it got the proper time to develop into a full story. Idk.

That being said, I did enjoy the season overall! It was really great to see how life isn't just about cuddly romance and romance solving every issue on the surface of the planet. I esp liked Elle's trans-focused plotline and how it highlighted that sometimes you can love someone from the bottom of your heart and still not completely understand what they are going through (see: Tao) but you still have to try regardless. I did cry at a few parts tho like damn this season was emotional ahskdfjdh

Anyway, what are your thoughts abt s3? Did you like it? What are your thoughts on Isaac's arc?

The semester thus far has been okayish, not the best but def better than last year lol. I've started working on plans for after uni ends and damn thinking abt the future is stressful sometimes 😩 but hey if everything goes right I might be able to move out of the country in about a year, so I suppose that's nice (if not terrifying to think about)?

How are you doing? I'm sorry I never come to check in, I swear I want to but I never know what to say so I keep putting it off until suddenly it's been weeks and aaaaaaghuag why is social interaction so difficult 😭 anyways, how's your semester going? I hope ur doing at least mostly okay <2

[brynn-lear]

dear brynn,

brynn. ik this makes me sound like a 5yo but is discord like very addictive or smth? like i genuinely wanna join but AAAAAAGHHH i have SM work to do the entire day and if it's like too bad then i don't think i can :( is discord like whatsapp? should i join it? 😭 because once i'm done with uni work i also have commissions to do (astrology ones! opened another blog after fucking up the previous one lmao) and then i also work at a nearby restaurant 😶 so do you think i should??

times have been rough but such is the nature of life. uncertainty is no longer a fear, in fact, recently i have been hoping that whatever bad happens is at least funny. well, the human spirit is unbreakable, anyways. i hope life has been treating you better and that others have been well, too.

i may drop by for christmas, but yanfei insists that i stay. let's see, i may as well just drag her out with me.

yours, chryseis valois. (cherry)

Dearest chryseis,

honestly I have no idea cuz I only have it for the hostelry BUT you're always free to join us, you're a memorable friend to me <33. I often just drop by to chat whenever I'm free, dw everyone there is understanding (cause we're all busy mostly-STEM college students there, I can only count on one hand who are the non-STEM lmaoooooo-)

also working at a restaurant sounds really cute and I genuinely hope all goes well for you in your comms!!! I always thought your astro work was scarily amazing (yes I refuse to remove the scary adverb HAHAHAHAHA-)

"I've been hoping that whatever bad happens is at least funny" how queer, cause I have been using that exact motto word-for-word for most of my adult life! I've heard them somewhere around conversations with blue birds before.

I wish I can offer you some reassuring words, but alas, I am also living through life with the phrase "it do be like that sometimes" at the back of my head. We just have to live through this, Chryseis. Someday, it will be okay. It must be okay.

With love and a a copius amount of hope.

— Cranberry N.V~

[usmsgutterson]

Caaaallllllllll 🩷 how have you been, love??? Are you on summer break yet?

I've heard your call for fic requests and I have one for Pin! What if Pin and his dad are family friends/neighbors of an old lady, and Pin has been helping take care of her during the winter since she lives alone. Then Reader, the woman's granddaughter, comes to live with her when her parents die, Pin teaches her how to ride, the fall in love, the whole 9 yards.

Thoughts?

Get Together- Pin Hawthorne x fem! reader

hi! I've not quite hit summer break yet--I've got like, seven and a half weeks left and in that time there's prom, senior skip day, a whole lot of studying, three classes worth of exams, grad rehearsal and then grad itself--but I am literally counting down the days til summer and even though I hate the warm weather I also cant wait for it, honestly.

What about you? How are things on your end? I hope all is well!

Fic type- fluff

Warnings- mentions of death, mentions of car accidents, a mention of making out (referenced as a snog)

"Ah," said a spry older woman as she noticed the sight of a dark blue toyota camry rolling into her driveway. "My grandbaby is here! Edward, do me a favor and help me down the front steps?"

"Of course, Mrs. L/N," Pins father intoned. Pin tried to hide his smile as he leaned back in the rocking chair that the elderly woman kept on her front porch, gently rocking back and forth by gently pushing the back of his foot off the ground.

Pin had been nineteen, would be twenty in February--it was barely the beginning of November, and Pins father had volunteered him to help take care of Mrs. L/N two, nearly three years beforehand--and still, he'd never quite met the person who stepped out of the camry when it was parked.

He watched Mrs. L/N approach you, saw your tired grin and puffy cheeks as you pulled your grandmother into a hug.

"Pin!" She called. "You must come down here this instant! I have someone I want you to meet."

"Grandma," Pin heard you say exasperated. "Don't make him get up! Don't make him do anything. I didn't mean to cause a fuss."

"You haven't," Pin called. "If you're fine to let me stay in my seat I'll gladly do so. My name is Pin Hawthorne."

You grinned at him, watched his tongue dart out to wet his lips before he returned the gesture to you.

"Y/N L/N," Mrs. L/N said proudly. "My granddaughter! She's just transfered to an asynchronous online program through a university in the city, and she'll be living with me until she finishes her degree in about three years time."

"What's your major?" Pins father asked.

"Writing," you said. "Creative writing. I'm minoring in journalism as a back up."

"Pin is currently enrolled at the same uni," Pins father said. "Should be catching up on his coursework before exams in December, but alas, you can't win them all."

Pin laughed easily as you came up the stairs, letting your grandmother hold onto you to keep herself steady.

"What's your major then, Hawthorne?" You asked.

"He's on his way to becoming a farm vet," Pins father intoned. "He'll work for the local horses stables. Only difference is that they'll have to start paying him for his contributions."

"They do well enough."

"Because you rescued them from bankruptcy and they find you terrifying."

You cast a glance at your grandmother. "Are they always like this?"

"Unfortunately, yes," she responded, giving you a reassuring grin. "But Pin is more sarcastic then his father, and Ted here is always the one who gets it started. One look, though, and they'll both shut right up."

"Or a cup of tea," Pin said.

"Biscuits," his father admitted, a guilty expression on his face. "Oh my word, your grandmother makes them wonderfully."

"Yes I do," your grandmother said with a proud grin. "Now, inside! You've flown, taken a train, and you've driven. You must be bloody exhausted. Rest up, we'll have dinner and tea in three hours."

You nodded at your grandmother, turned your gaze to Pin and his father.

"See you two in a bit," you said. "Lovely to meet you both."

Pin and his father both nodded, and when you'd fallen out of his line of sight, Pin turned his gaze to his feet in an attempt to hide the grin that'd spread to his face.

He ignored it when his father lightly elbowed his forearm, offered your grandmother a grin when she tutted at his and his fathers antics.

He offered her an arm. When she took it, he let her lean on him and lead him into the kitchen, his father following closely behind.

-

The weeks to follow were simple. Pin would come to yours and your grandmothers place to help look after her and to work on his studies.

The two of you often found yourselves in the sitting room on opposite ends of the couch, idly chatting as you typed away at an assignment or reviewed coursework to prep for exams that December.

Eventually, Bright Fields came up. Pin offered to teach you to ride using the horse your parents had kept in the stables before they'd passed, had told you you didn't have to do anything with the horse if you didn't feel comfortable with it yet.

Pin had ended up staying later and later, helping you take care of your grandmother during the day and relaxing with you in your room during the night, laughing and drinking tea that'd gone cold and studying together for the upcoming semester exams.

Without realizing it, you'd opened up to one another, had begun to rely upon the other person. By the end of that January, you'd told Pin about the accident--your survival, your parents deaths--and in turn, Pin had told you some of what happened with his mother.

At the end of that January, you'd finally taken Pin up on his offer to teach you to ride. You'd go to Bright Fields after your grandmother had called it a night, laugh and joke as Pin taught you basics and eventually you were almost better at it then he was.

It was when his father had offered to take his place in looking after your grandmother for a couple of days that he realized his father had known everything the whole time.

"A tip for subtility next time around," his father had said as he passed Pin a mug of tea. "Don't blush every damn time your phone dings with a text from her. Gives you away right quick, it does."

Pin nearly snorted, but managed to keep his composure. "I wasn't trying to be subtle," he said. "I have nothing to be subtle about."

"You're in love with her and you haven't even noticed?" His father asked incredulously. "Goodness, even with my lack of luck in the significant other department, I thought I raised you better. Mrs. L/N thought Y/Ns parents did a decent job too, but it seems she's just as oblivious to it as you are."

"I'm not oblivious," Pin had known he'd fall in love with you quickly from almost the get-go. He'd realized it the very day you met, and it was March. Spring was only two weeks away from donning on the island. "I do know that I'm in love, I just was raised by you. Love confessions really aren't the Hawthorne specialty."

His father laughed. "Fair enough," he said. "Just say something before it's too late. She's got a place at Bright Fields with the usual crew, and I'm sure Marcus has noticed. He'll try to bro-talk it with you, no doubt."

Pin scrunched his lips. He didn't much like the idea of talking his love life with anyone except someone he was in love with, and the idea that Marcus, of all people, might've found it an interesting point of discussion made him want to die.

"Yeah. I'll bring it up with her."

Pins father nodded. "Good lad. Enjoy your tea, I'll go check in next door and see how things are with Y/N and her grandma."

Pin nodded, took his tea up to his room as his father left.

-

"It's nothing big," Zoe said. "Just something small, to celebrate Spring. A get together!"

The two of you were in the stables, you running a brush along the horse your grandmother had kept in case you'd ever wanted to learn riding like your mother had once. The horse was called Luna, her coat a silvery white color.

"At the Dukes estate," you rebutted. "A get together is not a get together when it involves a butler named Arthur, nor when it involves professional chefs."

"It could be," Zoe said. "A get together is a get together when people get together."

You scoffed. "Get togethers in America are chips, sugary soda, a couple of bags of Sour Patch Kids dumped into a big ass bowl, some shitty lighting and fake laughter amongst people who are regretting agreeing to go within five seconds of their arrival."

"You miss it?"

"Somewhat," you laughed. "Oh, American get togethers were just small parties. I do miss that part, but I do not miss the stale beer or the stench of sweat. College parties were almost worse, though."

"Was it that bad?" Zoe asked. "Oh, you are so going to make me glad I chose to take asynchronous online schooling. I have to wake up at three am for zoom calls in the states sometimes, but if it means I don't attend shitty college parties it will be so much more worth it than I'd thought."

"College parties are glorified high school get togethers with shitty plastic solo cups to indicate relationship status. I used to always pick 'happily coupled' just to avoid being hit on so that I could drink my stale vodka in peace."

Zoe snorted. "Yeah. Feeling blessed. Thank you."

You laughed as you finished brushing Luna, placing the brush on the hook you'd always kept it on.

You turned to the entrance of the stable in time to catch Pins eye, the grin spreading to your face before you could stop it.

"Hi," Pin greeted. "Zoe, would you be all right if I took a minute to talk to Y/N?"

"Go ahead," Zoe said, shooting Pin a look and an eyebrow raise as she grabbed Lunas lead with the intention of passing her to Becky so that she could get some exercise because it had been a busy few days and you hadn't had time to see her at the stables with everything going on.

"Do tell her what a get-together is, though! She's got it wrong!" Zoe called as she walked further away, closing the stable door behind her.

Pin glanced at Zoes back before turning to you, confusion and surprise both present in his gaze.

"What was that?"

"Living on the island for too long has poisoned her," you said nonchalantly. "She thinks a get together is a party with a minimum of fifty people. I think it's like the shit I dealt with in college before my grandmother needed some extra help to look after her and I transferred. I think it's stale vodka, the stench of frat boy sweat, shitty lighting and laughter that makes ones ears hurt."

"Zoes right."

"How dare you?" You asked. "You were supposed to be my ally in this, Hawthorne! How dare?"

Pin shrugged. "Can't help it. She is."

"A get together is not fifty--you know what? You're going to make me sound like a bloody broken record. I am not doing that shit."

Pin laughed, and your heart fluttered for a moment.

"Calling it a get together is how the over twenty-five islander crowd discusses partying," Pin said after a moment. "It's 'we're going to get together, probably get drunk and definitely do something stupid regardless of how sober or not sober we are, but we're not in our early twenties and partying sounds too reckless.'"

"It is not," you said. "Hawthorne, you've found the hill I'm willing to die on. A get together and a party are very different things."

Pin smirked at you, shook his head as though he meant to clear his mind.

"I was wondering if you had a minute to talk," he said. "Not about the debate that we will most definitely be continuing later, but about something different."

"Yeah," you gave a nod, leaning against the stable wall. "Shoot."

"I'm in love with you," he blurted.

You thought on it for a few moments. You'd fallen for him too, across the five months you'd known him. You fell in love quick and hard, and somehow it seemed like it was paying off.

"Ditto," you said.

Pin scoffed. "That was easier than I tho--ditto?"

"Yes, Hawthorne. Ditto. It's very American of me, but if I say that I love you back I might just melt into a clingy puddle and I am not ready for you to see that side of me yet."

He scoffed again, though you couldn't help but notice his grin. "May I kiss you?"

"Please," you responded. He stepped forward, cupped your face in his hands and kissed you. You kissed back, arms moving to rest on either of his shoulders. You felt weightless almost, like nothing mattered more in that moment than the two of you did.

As you pulled away, you heard clapping. Pins arms wrapped around your waist as you pulled him close, not daring to look up and meet the gazes of those you knew were standing outside of the stable doors.

"Finally!" Marcus called. "I've been watching this trainwreck for five months, and finally it happened!"

"We're not a trainwreck!" Pin called back.

"Oh, yes you are! First, you meet at Y/Ns bloody grandmothers house," Mia called.

"Then you fall in love over tea, creative writing essays and fucking biology assignments," Zoe added.

"And now, look at you lot! Having a snog in a bloody stable!" Gabby finished off.

"We were not having a snog," you fired back, ignoring the heat in your cheeks. "It was a kiss--one kiss! Stop being lewd."

Pin let you go as the two of you turned, letting you grab his hand instead, other hand moving to rest on his elbow as your fingers interlaced.

"Did you at least bring up the--" Zoe started, cutting herself off. "The thing, relating to the other thing that's happening at your estate?"

"He's taken your side on the get-together debate."

"I'm taking Y/Ns out of spite from here on," Pin mumbled. "And loyalty."

You snorted where Zoe scoffed. "She's wrong and you know it!"

"I'm loyal!" Pin said in his defense. "Kill me, Zoe. Kill me for my loyalty. How would that look on your resume?"

You leaned up and pressed a kiss to Pins cheekbone, shooting Zoe a pointed look.

"Oh, fuck off! Both of you!" Marcus shouted. "Ah, now they're a couple, it's going to be hell around here."

"Oh no! Two people holding hands, kissing, and taking the other persons side in group arguments! How awful!" You mocked, one part of you wishing you and Pin were at your place, relaxing and trying to do course work, one of your hands idly running through his soft brown hair.

The other part of you wanted to be in the field you and Pin had found a good distance from the beach, leant up against a tree as you drank tea you'd poured into flasks and talked about anything and everything.

Pin gave your hand a squeeze. "All right," he said. "That's enough gawking, you all have work that needs doing."

Marcus gave a mock salute, Zoe and Mia nodded.

Gabby nodded. "Marcus is wrong. You'll be good for each other."

"Thanks," you and Pin said.

You were almost entirely sure that, since the deaths of your parents, since your survival after the accident, those moments were some of the first wherein you felt genuine happiness again.

[squish36-writes-and-draws]

11 November: Unraveling

Quick little update: I have burned through my stash of prewritten pages, and now, when I need to write more, I have a cold and a shit ton of school things I should be doing. We're going to be on shaky ground until probably Saturday.

Word Count: 510

TW: Keefe is swearing a lot. Also, general Keefe angst. Self-esteem is in the single digits.

General Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @faggot-friday @kamikothe1and0nly @nyxpixels @florida-preposterously

@poppinspop @uni-seahorse-572 @solreefs @corruption-exe @rusted-phone-calls

@when-wax-wings-melt @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @hi-imgrapes

@callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree @hi-my-name-is-awesome @katniss-elizabeth-chase @sillyguy-supreme

@void-kill @thefoxysnake

Unraveling Project Specific Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed/upgraded): @cutebisexualmess @crippling-pages @daizythegreat @sophiefostersno1stan @iggydancebreak

@theleopardstalker @you-will-meet-your-downfall @multi-fandom-lunatic

On Ao3 or below the cut!

First (3 November) / Previous / Next

I once loved a gardener with his dirt-smudged face and hands Trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again But now my love is gone And I am left here withering Withering

Keefe Sencen's Journal

  I hope you’re happy now, mother dearest. 

    I hope you know how much you’ve fucked me over. 

    I should have never even attempted to draw Taylor into this mess. I just—wanted to think that I’d be safe for once in my starsexile life, but that’s too much to ask. 

    Over the last couple of hours, I’ve bounced around the globe looking for a nice place to go and also trying to figure out how the pathfinder determines coordinates. I’ll probably be working on that instead of actually reflecting on my life tonight because exile I don’t want to think about my life anymore. Absolute dumpster fire of a life right there. 

    I think I’m in Paris? I can see that famous tower thing but let’s be real when we say that I’ve got no fucking clue where I am or how human society works. It could be some other ostentatious tower just to fuck with me in particular. 

    Anyway the time zones are really different between Sydney and wherever I am because I left right around dawn, and now it’s sundown. If I thought my sleep schedule was bad enough as it is, it’s about to get so much worse and I’m here for it. 

    I haven’t had any interactions with humans around here, and if I could, I would definitely try to avoid speaking to anyone about anything ever because we saw how well that went last time. Alas, I don’t trust myself enough for that to not be a possibility. 

    I’ll probably be bouncing to the next city in a couple of days. Maybe if I pick a new place often enough, no one will be able to find me. Maybe then I can stop hurting everyone around me. It won’t work, but it’s a nice possibility to think about. 

    I found a nice garden to loiter in for the next couple of days, and in the case that I get bothered by the legal authorities, I can just simply…leave. I could cause so many crimes on purpose. That bank heist plan doesn’t actually sound that unrealistic now that I’m genuinely considering it. I won’t, but it would be funny, and that’s the real measure of success. 

    You know what else is funny? I don’t, but someone across the street does. It’s much less overwhelming than it used to be and on the one hand, that’s a good thing because I don’t have a constant migraine, but it also means that I’m going to be fucked to exile in another couple of weeks, let alone centuries of this. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I’m making it centuries without Gisela finding me. I just need to hold out long enough that I’m not useful to her little schemes and machinations by the time she comes to collect her little unethical science experiment. 

    If I can’t solve the problem in its entirety, I’ll settle for being annoying. It’s gotten me this far which isn’t exactly a glowing endorsement, but it’s better than nothing, and that’s all I have. 

[inkofamethyst]

January 27, 2025

I want to understand.  I want to understand why the processes and pipelines I’m using work the way they do, the types of models under the hood, the way that certain assumptions are made.  I want to get good at bio-statistical computation, even if I'm not necessarily building tools myself.  I want to wrestle through mathematics to reach that proficiency.  I want to be able to hold my own in those kinds of conversations with those kinds of academics.  That is what I want to get out of a computing course.  And I wonder if I judged the one at my uni too harshly by its cover alone.  Because I’m kind of feeling it now, after this first class.  I dunno.  I’ll hold on to it in my schedule for a bit longer; next week I’ll take both this one and the one I have to cross-register for.  See how I’m feeling.  I wonder if I could audit the course at my uni.  I don’t need the credits, exactly.  Just the skills.  That may not go over well with the prof in such a small class.  I dunno.

I suppose I could take the syllabus and teach myself.  Am I motivated enough for that? I'd like to think so..

The other factor to consider is the whole spring break thing–if I do the cross-reg class, I’ll miss out on a true spring break.  

I’ll see how I feel at the end of next week (outside of just tired from all the running around).  I suppose it’d not be worthwhile to do both. There are pros and cons to each that kind of balance out for me. I may need to present a list of them to my advisor with a preliminary decision. I'll need to take a close look at the syllabi and perhaps go to office hours.

What a pickle I’m in.

Honestly, if I had it my way, I’d axe the popgen course my advisor wants me to take this semester and stick with the two others.  They are far and away more suited to my interests. But it will likely be useful to build connections with faculty and to diversify the types of knowledge bases I can pull from, I guess. And two computation-heavy courses would likely be a lot. Especially during my quals semester.

First day went fine, I suppose. Accidentally took a nap. Managed to read a paper (fell asleep while reading its rebuttals). Need to go to bed earlier. So, uh, goodnight.

Today I'm thankful for... hm. Uh. Hmm. Lol I'm thankful I didn't buy nvidia stock last year like I'd planned to do. I don't think this is a permanent tank but it sure looks bad. Maybe I should buy tomorrow. Frankly I should've bought in 2022 but alas.

[restlessmaknae]

of taekwondo & confessions [k.y.h]

Annoying or not, your mom asks you to take your little sister to her taekwondo classes, but you don't expect to see your once middle school crush being the practice teacher there.

➳ Characters: taekwondo practice teacher!Yohan x female!reader/you

➳ Genre: childhood sweethearts to lovers, fluff, comedy

➳ Words: 3.7k

➳ Warning: -

➳ WEi taglist: @dat-town, @effulgentfireflies, @hyu-won, @littlestartonightsposts​, @ishuayou​

It wasn't even a bad day. In fact, it was a pretty good day, your boss even praised you for your work that day, so you couldn't say that you had a strike of unlucky things happening to you. However, when you bumped into Kim Yohan out of all people at your little sister's taekwondo academy, you were definitely in for a surprise.

Not that his presence at a taekwondo academy should have surprised you. After all, his father was a taekwondo master and he had been doing taekwondo professionally when you had last seen him. It was the fact that he was the one teaching your little sister as a practice teacher under a senior instructor’s supervision that surprised you. Oh, and of course the fact that you never expected to see your middle school crush again after he had gone to a different school, and your silly little broken heart had convinced you that you would never find true love after the boy you had confessed to had not only said nothing in return, but he had also left your school altogether. Back then, you had no phone, no social media account, so he had gone without a trace.

There was no doubt that it was him though. He had the same boba eyes, the same bunny smile and the same pitch-black hair that you had always imagined ruffling like those main leads in your favourite young adult books that you had loved back then. You had imagined Yohan in the love interest's place so many times, and you remembered that aching feeling of wanting your love life to turn out like the ones in those books all too well.

Alas, you had been young and naive and foolish and...

"Hi!" Yohan greeted you with a wide albeit surprised smile. Well, at least he didn't expect to see you here either.

"Hi!" You responded slowly, still taking in the sight of the boy who had grown into such a handsome young man. Not that you hadn't considered him handsome back then because you had. It's just that his features were even more defined now, his shoulders even broader and he was even taller than he used to be. Though you had last seen him around a decade ago, it shouldn’t have been surprising.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"Me neither," you reciprocated his semi-nervous laughter with a smile as you tried to keep it cool. After all, he must have forgotten all about your confession, right? It had been so many years ago, he must not have even taken you seriously if he hadn't replied back then (not that he had a chance because you had practically run away from him after your confession, too embarrassed to bear his gaze).

Just like that, silence enveloped you, and you knew that Yohan had never been good at awkward situations, so you tried to keep it casual.

"I came to pick up my little sister, Yeji. She attends a class here. Your class, it seems," you explained, referring to the fact that you had seen your sister come out of the exact same practice room he had come out of.

Yohan's mouth formed a surprised O in return, but then, he was back to his usual coy self as he mentioned:

"It's not my class as per se. I'm still just a practice teacher."

"Everyone has to start somewhere, right?" You joked, trying to ease the slight awkwardness in the air, but you weren't sure that you saying such a thing was helping at all. God, you two were full-grown adults now, him already practising to be a teacher and you doing an internship, you should have known how to communicate better. Maybe it was just that the surprise hadn't worn off. Yeah, that should be it.

"How about you? Are you at uni or already working?" Yohan inquired after clearing his throat, and it was such a Yohan thing to do. He had always cleared his throat like that before giving presentations or being asked to solve a task by the board. It was such a silly thing to suddenly remember, but what could you do? You had been once head over heels for this boy.

"Oh, I finished uni during spring. I'm now doing an internship. I'm a sales intern for a fashion company."

"Sounds exciting."

"Yeah, it is," you responded with a smile, then to fill the silence, you told him about what tasks you had and what products were sold at the company and how you were working part-time, so you could pick up your little sister from now on because your mother now had a schedule change due to a colleague going on maternity leave. Not that he asked about half of it, but you knew that your little sister needed an awful lot of time to get ready, so even though kids were leaving the changing rooms one by one, you weren't surprised that you didn't see your sister coming out anytime soon.

In return, you asked about Yohan, and how he had ended up here and how long he would stay here and such, and he responded casually. These weren't such difficult questions though, but you were glad that the initial awkwardness wasn't lingering anymore.

Finally, your little sister showed up, her face still quite red, but her smile was as wide as it could be. Especially when she saw that you were talking to her teacher.

"Did you ask him how I was doing?" Yeji chirped, reaching out to hold your hand - something she always did when you were around others. She was extra clingy around strangers.

"No. We were catching up."

"Catching up?" She looked at you with wide eyes, then at Yohan. To that, you explained that you had been middle school classmates, and since she went to the same middle school as you did, she found it extremely fascinating that her taekwondo teacher went to the same school as she did.

"Anyways, let's not keep up your teacher any longer," you announced firmly when silence settled over the three of you. As expected, Yeji complained a bit, but eventually, she let her teacher go his way and you two also went your way which meant home in your case.

It didn't take long for your little sister to gossip about the fascinating revelation that her new practice teacher was your middle school classmate. To make matters worse, your mother knew exactly who Kim Yohan was, and she couldn't keep it quiet either.

"Wasn't he the boy you liked so much back then?" She exclaimed beamingly as if she had received great news, and you felt like falling head first into your bowl of pasta.

"You liked my teacher?" Yeji immediately shrieked excitedly, and it took some serious minutes to explain to her that it was a long time ago, you didn't like him anymore, and that he wasn't her teacher back then, so it didn't sound that weird.

Ever since then, you tried your very best not to run into Yohan when you went to pick her up or when you did, Yeji couldn't be around or ask anything regarding your middle school crush. Miraculously, it worked for some time, but once you had an urgent matter at work, so you couldn't leave on time, and you were almost half an hour late than you usually arrived. You basically ran from the underground station to the academy because Yeji didn't have a phone, so you couldn't tell her that you were on your way, and you were afraid that she would be panicking when she didn't see you after coming out of the changing rooms.

The sight that welcomed you was totally different though. Yeji and Yohan were sitting on the chairs opposite the reception desk, and they were playing cham cham cham. You let out a long, relieved sigh upon hearing your little sister's laughter, and your heart did a silly little somersault when Yohan's bunny smile was on full display while playing with her.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry that I was late. Something came up at the company, and I had to stay a bit longer," you explained in one-go when you walked up to them, but instead of being angry, your little sister seemed more understanding.

"It's okay. Mom didn't always arrive on time either," she just shrugged, and god, you thanked the gods for having a sister like her in that moment. This gratefulness didn't stay with you for long though. "We were playing some games with your crush while waiting."

Oh. My. God. How did she... Why... How could... No. This wasn't happening. Nope.

"I've told you not to call him that," you muttered through gritted teeth, trying to act natural with a smile in Yohan's direction, but he definitely did hear you two talking, and if it was possible, he was even more flabbergasted than you were.

"Why not? You've said you told him-"

"Come on, that was a long time ago. Right, Yohan?" You glanced in the boy's direction quite frantically. You felt like it would have been better if the ground had opened up beneath you. You really just wanted to evaporate.

"Right, it was. You didn't even let me respond," he brought it up, almost sulkily, but you swore that you were on the verge of making an even bigger fool out of yourself and tell him that he was still handsome, and you found it cute that he was teaching kids, and he was seemingly good with your little sister too and that was adorable...

And so on and so forth, so you needed to leave.

"Anyways, we have to go now. I promised mom I would get groceries before going home, so we need to do that too," you clapped your hands to announce it and grabbed your sister's gym bag from the floor, throwing it over your shoulder.

Thankfully, your sister perked up at the mention of grocery shopping - which meant free food sometimes due to the promotional samples -, so she gave in easily. This way, you could bid your goodbye to Yohan as soon as possible, and you could leave before wanting to admit something that you just couldn't.

Yohan was kind enough not to bring up your awkward middle school confession, so your conversations could actually be about things that didn't cause awkwardness. He was still very much the introverted boy you had known him to be, but he could get really chatty when it was about a topic he was interested in or stories with his friends that he was trying to tell with big hand gestures and voice intonations. It didn't help your silly little heart though, in fact, you felt like you just fell deeper and deeper with no way out. Once your sister took an extra long time changing after practice, you could also see Yohan in a non-uniform outfit because he had already changed into his usual clothes before your sister came out, and oh boy, he did grow broader and stronger. He also knew how to dress himself, so the tight black jeans, simple white tee, leather jacket combo didn't help your heart at all.

Though you didn't meet outside of the taekwondo academy because why would you? You also had around 15-30 minutes twice a week to talk, so it's not like you talked a lot, though with him, you felt like you could listen to him all the time, so it wouldn't be enough anyway. He might have given you his number (in case you were late to pick up your sister, so at least he would know about it even if your sister didn't have a phone), but you didn't start messaging each other too intensively.

The first time you met each other outside of the taekwondo academy was at a taekwondo competition. It was your sister's first competition, so she was super nervous, but she got encouragement from both of her teachers and you as well. Her fellow taekwondo team members supported her as well, but she eventually lost before the semi-finals, and instead of staying out on the field, she didn't come up to you to the stand during break, so you got worried.

You walked down the corridors, and walked into the changing room where you had previously put down her stuff. However, she wasn't there. You were almost about to call Yohan, hoping that he looked at his phone during the breaks, when you caught sight of the said boy crouched down to be at eye-level with your sister and hugging her while she was crying.

"It's okay. I've lost in competitions too, it's inevitable. Next time you'll be even better. Almost making it into the semi-finals is already a great achievement," you heard Yohan say to her, patting her back reassuringly while Yeji was still constantly sobbing. Hearing her cry broke your heart a little, but the boy's reassurance warmed it a bit, too.

"Yohan is right," you said as you halted beside their duo, and gently patted your sister's shoulder to gain her attention. You reached a pack of tissues out to her, and she took it, immediately using up two to blow her nose and wipe away her tears. "It was your first competition. You did so well. Now you know what you can expect, and you'll smash it next time."

"And maybe even become a teacher like me one day," Yohan added with a light-hearted smile as he stood up straight.

"Really? Can I do that after losing here?" Yeji stopped crying to ask that question and blinked up at her giant of a teacher with bright, shining eyes. He nodded and told her just how many times he had lost in the past until she felt better and eventually went to the bathroom to wash her face.

"Thanks for being beside here. I thought she disappeared, but I'm glad that wasn't the case," you turned to Yohan after your sister got out of hearing range, and displayed a grateful smile.

"Don't mention it,” the boy shrugged casually, but you were truly grateful for his assistance, so you kept thanking him until he was called by the taekwondo master to get ready for the end of the break. He directed an apologetic smile at you, but you told him that he should go, you would fetch up your little sister afterwards.

Once Yeji was done in the bathroom and felt better, you two went back to the stand to watch the rest of the competition. Even though your little sister was a bit under the weather when her opponent made it to the final, she seemed supportive of her team members nevertheless, and she almost went back to her usual, bubbly self by the end of the event. You waited for her to change and get her stuff, and as usual, she was almost the last one to leave. That just meant that you managed to bump into Yohan on the way out.

You and Yeji were about to have some lunch, and your little sister was so pumped up about telling her teacher that she would have her favourite kimchi stew that she somehow ended up inviting Yohan as well. As expected, the boy tried to turn down the offer, but the grumbling of his stomach and Yeji’s puppy eyes convinced him to join you. Your sister couldn’t have been happier.

You couldn’t deny that you were happy as well. It was fun talking to the boy like this, and you had a fun time watching the boy’s facial expressions change when your little sister asked him very random questions such as his favourite childhood snacks, if he had ever seen Santa or if he had ever farted during a competition. That last one, though, was embarrassing even for you, so you tried to avert the topic to something more pleasant.

You three had different meals, and Yeji always tried others’ food if it didn’t involve something she absolutely despised, so she had some from your lunch and from Yohan’s lunch as well. Then, insisting that his meat was really good, Yohan even wrapped a piece of meat, rice and garlic in a perilla leaf and reached it out to you. You looked at him for a few seconds, confused, but ended up reaching for it while thanking him for the gesture. He gave you a gentle, almost proud smile in return, and there it was again: that warmth that ran through your body seeing his smile, feeling like you had just ran a marathon, but it wasn’t enough to tire you out, you were just so pumped up.

“Why didn’t you put it into her mouth? They always do that in dramas,” Yeji chirped in obliviously, and you almost choked imagining the scene of Yohan putting the perilla wrap into your mouth like couples would do. Yohan had the same reaction, but he tried to mask it with a few well-timed coughs.

“It’s because we are not a couple. It’s a thing that couples do, so it would be weird if we did so,” you explained to your little sister who seemed to be pondering for a few seconds before asking the very simple yet very complicated ‘why’. You blanched at the boldness of hers, your eyes growing twice their size, and your throat going dry. You reached for your glass of water and took a few sips of it, trying to come up with an answer that wouldn’t hurt Yohan's feelings either, but it wouldn’t give away your feelings either.

However, taking your silence as if you couldn’t understand her question, Yeji continued with her honest, child-like curiosity.

“Do you really not like each other anymore?”

“It’s not that. It’s compli-”

“Then, do you still like him, no?”

“I mean…” You protested fervently, your embarrassment growing by the second. Sure, kids were honest, and they didn’t hold themselves back, but they also didn’t know the complexity of human emotions and how people didn’t always like each other back. You were sure that the movies and dramas she watched weren’t about unrequited love either.

You were about to go into a long-ass monologue about how reality could be different from what she saw in the media, but Yohan spoke up after clearing his throat.

“I like her. I always did,” he admitted coolly, but the way he was picking on his food with his chopsticks without looking into your eyes gave away his nervousness.

You practically froze in place, unable to move or speak because you just couldn’t believe that he had confessed that he liked you, and he had always done so. It was what you had been imagining all those years ago while rolling on your bed and listening to heartwarming pop songs about first loves, it was what you had been imagining when you had picked up the courage to confess to him on the last day of grade 7, and it was what you had been imagining ever since, and now that it was out, you were unable to form coherent words.

“But… like… why didn’t you tell me before?” You mumbled, still puzzled, when you managed to pull yourself together enough to speak up. Yohan’s eyes darted between different parts of the restaurant before landing on yours, and his gaze made it impossible to look away. There was just so much in his eyes, a whole galaxy if you wanted to be corny, that you felt like you would never be able to have enough of looking into his orbs.

“It’s not like you let me tell you back then. You practically ran away!”

“Because you were frozen, and didn’t say a thing. So I figured you don’t like me and ran away to save both of us from further embarrassment.”

“I was frozen like you now. I couldn’t believe that someone like you would like me back,” Yohan insisted, and this almost sulky side of him was so adorable, so similar to his younger days that you almost felt like hugging him to your chest when he was already way taller than you. Gosh, you really did think that he said nothing because he didn’t like you whereas he was just surprised. You had to process that information and his pouty lips and his twinkling eyes and…

“Are you going to kiss now?” Yeji blurted out, too excited for her own good, but both you and Yohan answered with a vehement no before locking gazes again and bursting into laughter. You almost forgot about your little sister being there beside you because you were so into your own little world, but how could you forget about her presence and enthusiasm towards you and your crush on Yohan?

“We can try later though,” the boy mentioned with a teasing tone, and you held up your chopsticks warningly, but the boy’s giggles made you let go of any (theatrical) annoyance you held towards him.

Now that was out of the way, the rest of the lunch was fun and almost peaceful, but you would have never thought that his confession would happen at a restaurant on the way home from your sister’s first taekwondo competition, over perilla leaf wraps and bowls of steaming noodles. You wouldn’t have had it any other way though. It was so like you and Yohan, and it was just perfect.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading the story! It means a lot to me.❤️

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for WEi or for other bands, consider signing up for my taglist here.

Have a lovely day/night!

[enha-stars]

i SHOULD be doing my uni work but alas, jay comes first. as in, my jay soulmate au fic has been posted 🙏🏽