#i seriously spent so much time on this

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

Snowbaz & Co Barbie Outfits

I was chatting with a few others in discord and we were all in agreement that Simon and Baz would absolutely be going to see Barbie, and would be bringing Mordelia, Petra, and Sophie along.

But what would they wear?

This is how I’ve spent my job hunting free time over the last few weeks.

Pink and nonsense below the cut.

Petra

I feel like she’s a total horse girl. She spends all of her time thinking about horses and drawing horses and riding horses both real and imaginary. When Baz tells her they’re going to dress up for the movie, Petra is ready with her pink accessories to be Equestrian Barbie. There are a few versions of this Barbie, but I wasn’t that into them. Petra can do better. I asked my horse-riding friends how they would Barbie-fy the standard English riding look, and they said pink accessories. So:

Let’s start with our base equestrian look. White top with pink lining on the collar/cuffs, beige or... whatever color that is for the breeches, and field boots (I hear this is what they are called?). Then we add the pink accessories! (Yes, that is a unicorn on the end of that crop). Hot pink breeches optional. I’m foregoing the riding coat because it’s summer and we just don’t need that extra layer, but it does really pull the look together, and I did find a suuuuuper cute pink one. 

I don’t know anything about riding, especially English riding, so don’t come at me if this doesn’t make any sense (I would like to know how you would Barbie-fy your own riding look, though!).

Links: Base Outfit (left), Gloves, Crop, Helmet Cover, Breeches

Sophie

Sophie heard “wear pink” and knew just the dress for the occasion. This was the dress she wore for her most recent birthday party (because they totally have super posh, fancy kid birthdays that require nice new dresses, right?). I’m pretty sure the twins are somewhere around 10 now, and this is definitely something I would have worn as a 10 year old.

My inspiration for Sophie’s look was the 2010 Modern Princess Barbie (left) and the 2011 Cut ‘N Style Princess (right).

Links: Barbie Modern Princess (left), Dress, Barbie Cut ‘N Style Princess (right)

Mordelia

I imagine Mordelia goes immediately to a retro look. She’s around 15 at this point and could totally be into makeup and fashion. I like to imagine she’s kind of artsy, and while she’s the perfect age to be in her emo phase (which I would love for her to have), I understand this is not a “thing” anymore among the youths. Either way, I like to think Mordelia is a bit of a chameleon and floats around to whatever style inspires her at the moment. (Am I projecting? Yes. Yes, I am.)

I think she would prefer to go for the original 1959 Barbie with the black and white swimsuit (bodysuit?) and sunglasses, but Baz insists on pink (or Simon... yeah... it’s definitely all Simon). So they compromise on a modern take on the Flower Power era of the 60s and 70s. The dress has the large-scale, brightly colored floral print and miniskirt of the 60s with the bell sleeves more common in the 70s. I used this 1969 P.J. Talking doll for inspiration.

She goes all-out on the makeup with the recently revived and renovated mod eye look (top left) and sort of clumped, thick bottom lashes (bottom right) (there’s got to be a better way to describe that....). And the knee-high white boots, of course. She’s really just an amalgamation of all the most fun trends of the 1960s.

Can you tell I had the most fun with this one?

Links: Mod-inspired Eye Makeup (top left), Dress, P.J. Talking doll, Boots, Classic Mod Eye Makeup (bottom right)

Simon

I had a really hard time with both of the boys. But here we are. As soon as I saw the 1982 Ken Fashion Jeans, I knew that was my inspiration for Simon. It just felt so right. Though I didn’t use the actual jeans part as the inspiration, I did go with another 80s jean staple: acid wash jeans. And imagine the light pink shirt is actually the most obnoxious hot pink you can think of. 

I like to think Simon already had both of these pieces in his closet. Baz will be ensuring those top buttons stay undone all day, as god intended.

Honorable mention to this shirt that also has a Simon-look-alike for a model (tbh I still think maybe I should pick that one every time I look at it) and this basically mesh shirt.

Links: Soft Pink Knit Shirt (top left), Hot Pink Polo (top right), Acid Wash Jeans, Ken Fashion Jeans doll

Baz

The one that I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for that I’m also sure is going to disappoint... Baz. Boy did I struggle with Baz. What would he wear? A suit? More casual? More costume-y? Ultimately I decided casual since everyone else would be casual, it’s summer, and, more importantly, I couldn’t find any hot pink floral suits for men.

Once I narrowed it down to casual, I still couldn’t decide. I didn’t even have a good reference for inspiration. Nothing felt quite Baz.  Honestly, I need help.

I think I’ve settled on this large-scale floral print on the top left that feels like a very Barbie-esque print, but it’s not quite right. It for sure needs to be a little less boxy and a little more tailored like the slightly more classic Bazzy floral shirts below. The cherry blossoms (top right) are pretty and pink, but not quite Barbie and not quite Baz. The bottom left seems the most... typical? Not a bad choice (aside from the fact that Baz absolutely would not shop at Target or Walmart where I found this shirt). The bottom right is a little more bold and has the hot pink, but... I’m just not sure. 

And of course we need a good “Baz, you’re wearing jeans!” moment. Why is there a picture of Trent Crimm/James Lance instead of jeans on the left, you ask? When is a photo of Trent Crimm not relevant to Baz? He’s wearing jeans, isn’t he?

Links: Beautiful James Lance in Jeans, Large-Print Floral Shirt (top center), Cherry Blossoms Shirt (top right), Small Floral Print Shirt (bottom center), Shiny and Bold Floral Print (bottom right)

What do you all think? Which top is the most Baz x Barbie? Has anyone else thought about what everyone would wear to see Barbie? I’d love to see!

[thefirstknife]

Some lore tabs that killed me dead and I'll never recover from them. Seasonal gauntlets are about Zavala realising and coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and has mortal pains. Also, finally, the full confirmation that Guardians resume aging when they lose their Light:

He moved his chair back and considered his knee. What had he done to hurt it? He had not exercised yet, he had not gone on his usual patrol… he had done nothing. Why would a knee hurt from doing nothing? The riddle dissolved. He was starting to age.

But also:

He allows a hand to rest on his aching knee. To venerate it. He feels it solid under his palm. It is his, it is real, it is both portentous and precious. He is aging. He will age. An absurd and joyous thought warms in his chest: how fortunate, to have lived long enough to grow old. How invaluable, to make the space between himself and the horizon matter. How much time is left? And is it best spent with his knees under a desk?

Genuinely crying over this. How fortunate to live long enough to grow old. Man. Also at the end he asks for a break for one week and Ikora offers him two weeks.

The next one just... I have no words. It has to be read in full. It's about Saint going through it, having memories of his past and also dealing with the guilt with what's happening to Mithrax. Truly every sentence in this one is a gutpunch all the way to the end. Excerpts:

The hum of activity was overpowering yet reassuring to Saint-14 as he stopped to watch an older Eliksni expertly weave fabric on a well-worn loom. The woven symbols were unique and unfamiliar to the Exo, but he watched in awe as an iridescent glow emerged within the vibrant cerulean cloth. Fit for a Kell, Saint mused to himself— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory echoed in his mind. All he could feel in this moment… was shame.

Saint remembering his crimes against the Eliksni and feeling shame.

He hurried past the weaver and through the crowd, landing squarely in front of a tea stand, a sample placed in his hand before he could open his mouth to refuse. He looked down. The opaque liquid steamed in his cup, pungent and medicinal. Like distilled Darkness, Saint realized— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory filled his sight. All he could feel in this moment… was sadness.

Tea reminded him of all the stuff with Osiris and he is not processing it well. I say excerpts but I have to put the rest entirely because like. Okay.

Saint placed his favorite keepsake, a small stuffed bear, on the Kell's throne. Gently, he adjusted the lavender ribbon at its neck; the crisp satin sat in stark contrast to the bear's hazy black eyes, to its slightly worn ear and well-loved fur. A gift, once a comfort to a child of the City. A gift, once a comfort to Saint in the face of loss, in the face of— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory swelled in his heart. Osiris. His strong laugh. His deep, soulful eyes. The warmth of his smile. Of his touch. Memories of comfort, but all he could feel in this moment… was guilt. Intense and overwhelming, like daggers cutting through him, sharpness bleeding through sweetness. Saint breathed deeply and stared at the medical equipment around the empty throne before him. "The cost of my joy," Saint whispered, and he wept.

He has a teddy bear. He once gave it to a child, but someone returned it to him when he was grieving about Osiris, to comfort him, and he'd kept it. And he put it on Mithrax's throne because he feels guilt that Mithrax is suffering because he helped him and Osiris.

I'm ending it all.

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[cauldron-burn-and-fire-bubble]

control (2019) + king of pain by the police

[boygirlover]

Mabel Episode 32: Temporal Snake. In which they all fall down.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

[rux363]

"He was, unfortunately, very handsome."

This one's a real interesting prompt because I overthink this a lil too much - but here’s what I have for this year's KaiShin One Prompt Challenge!

Please do check out how everyone has gone about with the prompt at @dcmkkaishinevents! And once again, thank you mac for organising it!

Thoughts on it under the cut!

Right. Okay. I really struggled with this one. Not only in terms of time constrains (it's been a really busy time) but also because the prompt is reaallllly interesting. Like super interesting that I just jumped onto to join the event because I wanted to challenge myself (been in a slump lately and this prompt was screaming at me) and I was latching on real hard to something here:

Shinichi and Kaito look alike. So alike that Kaito has gotten mistaken as Shinichi before, and he has used it to his advantage too.

How do I use the prompt, while also remembering that they would look the same? I thought about going the crack route, as seen below:

Kaito: He is, unfortunately, very handsome ??: ... don't you guys look exactly the same? [Narcissist much?] K: oh. Right

But I wasn't up for it. I tried thinking about the idea of one of them looking like an absolute dork (affectionately), and then the line - but it kept feeling wrong to me, because I feel like that would be attractiveness. Handsome is too much of a physical word for me.

As Faith (@indelibleme) says, "this prompt is more for the "damn he's hot" type of vibe lol" - which is absolutely true.

So it's something about the physical appearance. Or at least that's what I want to focus on. But they look the same. (Kinda. You get the idea)

And then, it hit me. What if we make it so that Kaito likes Shinichi - everything from his intelligence to his appearance, and it's not because he looks like Kaito - he doesn't feel attracted to himself duh - but it's because it's how Shinichi looks. Kaito just happens to look like him. And is pining after him in the mirror.

Like. Does that even make sense? Probably. I don't know And right after that thought, I had that image of Kaito looking at the mirror and seeing Shinichi.

AND THEN THAT ONE FIC THAT POPPED UP IN MY HEAD KEPT REVOLVING IN MY HEAD WHENEVER I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE IT IS ABSOLUTELY NAILING IT I JUST HAD TO HUNT IT DOWN AGAIN yea. Here's the link to it: the only victim of these innocent crimes (is me) by dytabytes - it's an explicit fic so 18+ only and please read the tags and summary. I guess this drawing is an ode to that fic because when I went back to reread it, the premise really hit all the right spots.

Anyways, again, Kaito and Shinichi has their similarities, and they also have differences. This is just one route I went and m quite happy with what I have.

There was going to be an exposition and conclusion that used the prompt more explicitly, featuring the crack portion, before what I have - but time and energy. I am lacking of them.

If you have read uptil here - seriously thank you and have a good day/night/whatever time is a social construct haha

[itsalwaysforyou]

I AM FOREVER YOUR MOST DEVOTED BELIEVER

kenny ortgea, descendants 3 / katy prickett, medieval 'love motto' gold ring found near frinton / x / x / x / 墨香铜臭, heaven official's blessing / mitski, geyser / dove cameron and khalid, we go down together / mitski, i'm your man / anne sexton, 'a letter to w. d. snodgrass' / x / florence + the machine, heavy in your arms / x

[crehador]

completely forgot to say in my other post but TIME SKIP AKIYAMA HELLO?????? bonding with the future father-in-law already i'm absolutely obsessed with this

[spookythesillyfella]

"You're not ashamed of only doing unnecessary things – far from it, you're proud of it ; you must be feeling GREAT!"

★ alt verzionz under cut :

★ song : "Eh? You're serious? Wait!" – Dobu no Awa

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[dreadfutures]

i know everyone loves talking bout solas feet but

(not really spoilers, but technically some of these crops are from da4 - literally no spoilers tho)

since like? 2018? 2020? we've seen that Solas is wearing this golden sentinel plate under his new jacket.

and all ancient elves - sentinels in the temple of mythal; spirits in Trespasser...

and those we may have seen in DA4 - wear it too.

[ruskatuskapuskasapuska]

Ì̸̢͉̯̜̹̗̇͋̉͌ ̸̥̪̆͗Ẅ̶̭̠̟́̋̄̀͠͝A̶̢̻̣̤̿͐́N̴͍̒̐͝T̵̛̬̦̬̻̘̦̅͗̈́̋̊ ̶̧͈͊̅T̵̪͉̩̠̐̏̋͐̔̿͝Ó̶͚̟͙͙̩̮͆̒̂͒̕ ̶̡̥͚̥̅̈́̾E̵̱͖̦̘͍͂́̍̈́͋X̷̱̃͒͗I̶̩͉̎Ş̷͍͓͇͙̭̓͂͝T̵̩̆́̒́̔

asdfghjkl mephiles i am so normal about mephiles i want to toss him into the void then dive after him and kick his pathetic ass and give the guy a hug and ask him to pay child support for all the little guys he keeps conjuring out of the goo and put said little guys in a salad spinner and-

I was quite happy when he got a boss battle in Shadow Generations :)

"Oh I'll just spruce up this sketch a little," I said. "I won't spend days/weeks on this :)"

vvv The og sketch in question vvv

[yeehawbvby]

My piece for the kbnz Scale and Shade zine!! :3

The zine is free, I recommend y’all check out everyone else’s hard work too if you haven’t already 💕

[venmotif]

new mayoi has me feeling. things. also he killed me with all of this fucking hair but I'd like to think it turned out well

total time 4 hours 49 minutes but at least 2 of those hours were spent solely rendering hair lmao

[makingshortstorieslong]

Merry Christmas!

Have a very silly Christmas-y short story!

Last year, I was inspired by this post to write a story for @milk-lover. This year I finally went back and edited out some typos, and I wanted to share it with everyone for the holidays.

Heads up that due to it being written as a gift there will be some references in here that aren't going to be meaningful or make sense to a general audience, but I don't think they detract from the overall story (which isn't honestly intended to make much sense even without the references.) (Also if you know me you very possibly also know @milk-lover and will get the references!)

And so without further ado, I present to you, in a little over 3,000 words:

The Daring Adventures of Milk-Lover in

The Dairy Dystopia

Three days out from Christmas, Leslie ran out of milk.

“For fuck’s sake.” They half-slammed the empty carton on the counter, beside the mug it had failed to fill.

Any other day of the year, if they went to pour from the half-gallon carton in the fridge and discovered it yielded less than a quarter cup – not enough for cereal, not enough for hot chocolate, not even enough to charge their phone – they would have simply shrugged and added ‘milk’ to the grocery list, and done without until the next shopping trip.

But it was almost Christmas, and Santa Claus was on its way.

They had to have enough milk.

They groaned at themself. They should have been more careful. They’d set up the cookies yesterday. But when it came to the milk, they had just glanced into the fridge and seen that there was still a carton in there, and one not due to expire until the 27th. They hadn’t touched it in days – of course they didn’t remember how much was in it.

They downed the minimal layer of liquid in the mug in one gulp. It was pointless to save it. That amount didn’t even come halfway to meeting Santa’s requirement.

They’d have to go back out for milk.

Leslie bundled up in both their coats, a hat, and a face mask. The sun had gone down in the time between their return from work and their disappointing dairy-free discovery, so they needed to dress to face the cold and snow.

Of course, snow didn’t really fall here anymore. After New Year’s Day, the weather would get back to the regularly scheduled 60 degree Fahrenheit winter. But the town had splashed out for a couple weeks of WinterWonderland™ climate control system. It was kind of nice by light of day - the snow in the sunlight made everything look bright and clean. But to maintain it, they had to turn on the snow-makers and turn down the temp every night.

Leslie walked with their head bent against the manufactured wind, unsure if they more-so regretted that they didn’t possess gloves or that they did possess fingers as the chill stole all feeling from their extremities in the hour-long walk. They passed a dozen other corner stores and supermarkets in that time, all of which certainly sold milk, but none of which met Leslie’s needs. There was only one place for Leslie to buy dairy products. They considered themselves highly fortunate it wasn’t even more difficult to get to.

At last, with their hands jammed up under their arms for warmth, they came to the last turn in their journey. They imagined the moment they would step gratefully into the heated interior of the store. Maybe they’d even buy a hot chocolate along with the milk, and take a minute to savor the warmth before once again facing the artificial outdoor cold.

They turned the corner, and their dreams evaporated.

It couldn’t be… the corner store… the little semi-independent corner store, that still employed a human cashier out of some sense of retro charm… where you could still buy a half gallon of milk and a dozen eggs and whatever horrible new flavor the sick fucks at Oreo had dreamed up last without once consenting to share your biometric data with the corporations that had produced them all. The shop that had even taken cash up until two years ago. The only shop in town that would sell Leslie open-source dairy…

It was gone.

It had been there the last time they bought milk. But now, in its place, stood a Walmart Mini™.

Too cold to do otherwise, Leslie moved through their frustration and dismay down the street and into the store.

If nothing else, at least it was warm in there. They unzipped their jackets, and took stock of the situation.

They were alone. No other shoppers stood in the aisles. The cashier was gone, replaced by motion-sensitive cameras that followed Leslie through the store, and a self-scan checkout.

The bones of the shop were still there. The store had had the same layout as long as Leslie had known it. It wouldn’t last much longer now; WalMinis™ were contractually obligated to rearrange every so often, in a bid to confront consumers with new goods and perhaps coax them into buying something new, something extra, more than what they came in for.

But for now, Leslie walked straight-forwardly to the refrigerator at the back, the place they had come routinely the past three years for every milk run.

Maybe it would be okay. Maybe they still had to sell out of the old shop’s stock before switching fully to WalProducts™. Sure, Leslie would have to find a new source for accessible dairy moving forward, but at least they’d be able to get their Christmas deliveries tonight.

The refrigerator itself looked the same as ever. The products within it, however, had changed.

It was here.

Two-factor authentication enabled milk.

Leslie pulled a face at the words on the label. “Enabled”. Yeah, right. Two-factor authentication mandated milk was more like it. There was no way to opt-out.

Since dairy had become so valuable with the invention of lactose-based electricity, it only made sense to the people selling it that the people buying it should prove they had paid for what they used. It wouldn’t do to let people run around wildly, stealing each other’s milk. So two-factor authentication was the simple solution. You buy the milk; then, any time you want to open it to use it, you simply use your smartphone to prove that you’re the one who bought it.

For most people, it wasn’t a problem. Everyone had the Google Account they’d made in kindergarten. It was easy as pie to follow the link on the milk carton, log in to your Google Account with ID, password, thumbprint, and retina scan, click the button to send the One Time Password, miss the text notification with the One Time Password because your phone’s messages were muted, send a new One Time Password, check your messages and see the first one, enter the first one, be confronted by a blaring alert accusing you of stealing your own identity for entering the wrong number, do the CAPTCHA in which you identified which pictures showed men who’d never in their lives stopped to look at the moon, re-log in, get a new One Time Password, and finally, verify your identity with the milk’s receipt-of-purchase to send a wireless signal from your phone to the Bluetooth enabled milk carton cap so that it would open up.1

(1 If this sounds more complicated than implied by ‘easy as pie’, it’s possible you’re interpreting that analogy in terms of eating pie. There are a lot of steps in most pie recipes!)

The point is, as long as your phone was charged so you could use it, it was easy to access the TFA required to open your carton of milk to charge your phone. People around the world used TFA every day, usually several times.

Leslie, however, was locked out of Google two-factor authentication.

The thing was, they had liked their little old iPhone 34. It fit in their hand and in their pocket. The camera was good enough for what they needed. Sure, the holographics looked more like something out of Star Wars than modern technology, but it was a vibe.

So when the iPhone 35 came out, they hadn’t upgraded. Nor had they upgraded for the iPhones 36, 37, 38, or 38Ultra.

After the release of the iPhone 39, they’d received a warning. The software on their iPhone 34 would soon cease to be supported, and they would be unable to update it. They had expected that. They had done some research. Once new hardware was in wide circulation, it was only natural for software support for older models to fizzle out. It was something like having a technological disability – not always easy to live with, but manageable with the proper considerations. They were willing to take on that challenge. They would update one day, but not yet.

The part they hadn’t anticipated was that they would lose the ability to update the Google software on their phone as well. Eventually, they couldn’t use it at all. And when Google was disabled on their phone, and they went more than a month without using their Google Account, they found that they were locked out of it, no matter what device they attempted to access it from. Reactivating the account would take more time, effort, and money to fully prove their identity to reclaim their data than they had to spare.

So Leslie lived the life of the technologically disabled, with an outdated iPhone and no Google Account. Some things, they did the old-fashioned way, forgoing whatever apps would make it slightly more convenient. Other things, though alarmingly few, offered their own proprietary takes on TFA as an option in addition to the usual Google Account based one. Leslie had a whole folder on that same iPhone 34 devoted to TFA apps for various services.

But dairy TFA all went through Google.

They sighed.

If they couldn’t leave milk and cookies out for Amazon Santa Claus™, none of the gifts they had ordered would be delivered. As a condition of the premium delivery service, users had to provide cookies on the local server with the information the automated delivery drone needed to complete its delivery, and milk to recharge it enough to move on to the next delivery. Without them, it would quickly skip over Leslie’s house, holding the presents they’d already paid for hostage.

Maybe they could just… break the milk open. Sure, they’d get fined, and maybe get banned from the WalMini™, but it was a distant branch on the mega-corporation family tree that connected it to Amazon Santa Claus Delivers. Even if breaking the milk open eventually had repercussions for their Amazon usage, it would take some time for those consequences to come into effect.

Still. There would be consequences, sooner or later. It was impossible for Leslie, unversed in corporate rule-dodging as they were, to predict what they would be exactly.

Physically breaking open the milk would have to be the last resort. There had to be another option.

They weren’t the tech savviest guy on the planet. Sure, they used Firefox with a host of extensions to browse the web, and had installed a DreamCatcher by their bed to block most of the D wave ads and avoid subscribing to Microsoft Sleep Premium™, but they’d followed directions online for both of those. And both of those were legal, for now, and technically freely available even if the corporations did their best to bury the info online deep in a mess of AI-genned search results.

But by-passing two-factor authentication…

They imagined they’d need to go to the DarkNet to even get an idea of who to ask to help with that.

Well. Desperate times.

Leslie bought a gallon of TFA-enabled milk. Usually they went for a half-gallon, but they figured they may as well make it worth their effort. After they got it open once, they could pour it into analog water bottles and dispose of the milk jug.

The walk home was even colder and more desperate. Leslie managed it in forty-five minutes, hugging the milk to their chest, their mind racing even faster than their legs.

Alone in their apartment, they hurled the milk into the fridge and slammed the door.

Then they slammed themself down into their chair, turned on their computer, and opened a private window.

An hour into their search, they found a forum: Posts that Say Milk dot com. A banner across the top of the web page read: We Are All Citizens of Milk.

There was an array of different pages available with posts about different topics: recipes involving milk, debates about different kinds of milk, milk memes… At the end of the list was a tab labeled ‘milk help’. It sounded promising.

Leslie clicked it.

A long list of posts appeared, each with a title in large letters, saying attention grabbing things like: Help! Drank One Month Expired Milk! and Brother Keeps Drinking All the Milk Before I Can Charge My Headphones, How to Stop Him?

None of the problems sounded like theirs.

Then they noticed the sidebar. The site hosted a few voice-only chatrooms, where nothing was recorded and voices were automatically disguised for privacy. The text on the sidebar suggested, “If you have any problems that are too *much* to put in writing, bring them here to talk to one of our dedicated mods!”

They put on their headphones and entered the Milk Tech Help chatroom.

It was quiet when Leslie arrived. There were two mods present, but that was the only information the screen showed. There was nothing else to see or hear.

“Hello?”

A picture appeared – an avatar of a black and white rat. “Hello. What brings you here?”

“I have a bit of a milk problem.”

“You want the addictions chatroom,” said the other mod, represented as they spoke by the avatar of a purple dog.

“No, not that kind of problem. It’s – I bought milk tonight. But I don’t have access to my Google Account anymore. So I can’t open it.”

The purple dog avatar made a knowing sound. “You want unauthenticated milk access.”

Leslie hesitated. It sounded so blunt put that way. But it was the truth. “Yes.”

“You know of course that that violates Google’s terms of service.”

“I know.”

“Well. If you know the risk you’re running, I do know someone who might be able to help.”

“You do?” asked the rat avatar.

“Well. Not personally. But I know someone who knows someone.” There was the faint sound of typing on a keyboard. “Just wait a moment.”

They waited.

Then there was a soft chime as a fourth person entered the voice-chat. “So you have a problem for my contact, hmm?” asked a low, grizzled voice.

“I guess so,” Leslie said.

“Who is your contact, anyway?” asked the rat avatar.

“They call her The Milk Lover,” the enigmatic newcomer said.

“No way,” breathed the rat avatar.

“Yes way,” said the purple dog. “I thought you might have heard of her.”

“I sure have. I heard she used to be –“ the rat avatar’s voice dropped so low that Leslie had to strain to hear – “a streamer.”

Leslie shuddered. Streaming had been outlawed for twenty years. “Can I ask – I mean, um… do you know what she streamed?”

“Old video games,” said the purple dog. “You know Minecraft?”

“No?”

“No, you’re probably too young. It was a classic. Anyway. Yes, she was a streamer. She used to blog, too. She’s seen things on the internet you and I can only imagine.”

The latecomer laughed. “She and I both. I’d say if anyone can crack open your corporate-controlled carton, it’ll be her. But I should warn you – you may find her a little… odd.”

“O- odd?”

The purple dog sighed. “You’re scaring the kid, Chad.”

Leslie found their voice. “I’m not a kid,” they said. “I’m – well. I’m a milk lover, too. How can I talk to her?”

Chad chuckled. “You’ve heard of Tumblr?”

“The old microblogging platform?” the rat avatar asked. “It’s dead.”

“I’ve never heard of it,” Leslie said.

“Yes, you have. You might not know it, but you have. Traces of its meme culture are laced through the entire structure of the internet. And I wouldn’t call it dead, exactly. I’d call it undead.”

“This is why I had to contact Chad,” the purple dog avatar said. “I can’t get in touch with the Milk Lover directly because I don’t go on that site, and its the only site she uses.”

The rat avatar asked exactly the question on Leslie’s mind. “How can a website be undead?”

“Simple. When staff finally called it quits on the sinking ship their site had become, some of the users stepped in. Not many of them, and not uniformly. It’s a loose network of a website, riddled with potholes, individually configured to each user’s specifications on their own little domain. But the connection is still there. The community for those determined souls who remained is still alive. It’ll die one day, when we do. There’s no way to find the site through any search engine. No new blood starting new blogs. But we persist.”

“Then how am I supposed to get on this tumblr to talk to the Milk Lover?”

“It’s simple,” Chad said. “All you need - “ there was the sound of typing - “is this invite link.”

Leslie watched the screen, waiting for a notification that something had been sent in the Posts About Milk website’s chat.

Instead, their phone chimed.

They picked it up, shaking slightly.

They had a message from an unidentifiable number. It was just a blue hyperlink that read milk here.

When Leslie looked back up to the screen, Chad was gone, and the purple dog avatar had gone off-line.

“Man,” the rat avatar breathed. “This is actually exactly what I signed up for when I started modding, but I still didn’t think it would really be like this. You good?”

“I think so? I guess – I’m gonna go talk to the Milk Lover.”

“Best of luck. Stay safe. Use up your milk before it goes bad.”

“You, too.” Leslie disconnected from the voice-chat and closed out of Posts That Say Milk.

They moved the hyperlink over from their phone to their monitor and opened it.

The screen filled instantly with a blur of black fur and sharp white teeth and red mouth. On edge as they already were, the sight of it set Leslie’s heart pounding. It took a few cycles of the images to realize it was a rotating set of photos of a black cat, always in motion, always mid-bite.

Scrolling down from that header image revealed a series of white rectangles covered in black text. It appeared to be encrypted somehow, scrambled to the sight of anyone who wasn’t a logged-in Tumblr user. Tumlrite? Tumblerina? Leslie didn’t know what word the denizens of this impossible undead website would use to describe themselves. Or possibly the text wasn’t encrypted digitally, but rather written in a particular code or dialect intelligible only to the die-hard Tumblroo.

There was no indication that any other user was viewing the page, or that there was any kind of communication ability on this page at all, but suddenly, the voice of the Milk Lover was in Leslie’s headphones, cutting right to the chase. “So you want to bypass two-factor authentication.”

“Yes.”

“Right. Send me a scan of your milk.”

Leslie fetched the jug from the fridge. Using the 3D scanner on their phone, they captured the milk jug’s image from all angles. Then they moved the files over to their computer and sent them.

“Hmm.” On the screen, the milk jug spun around as the Milk Lover clicked it and observed it. “Send me the receipt.”

Leslie did so.

“Hmm,” she said again. “Not the easiest nut to crack. You’ll have to give me a minute.”

Leslie waited. Minutes passed. The only sounds were from the Milk Lover’s end of the line, and they were all mysteries to Leslie. The clacking sound was certainly a keyboard, but the squishing, squeaking, and, once, quiet shrieking, were all unidentifiable. They thought they heard, at a distance, as though the headset with the microphone had been removed from the wearer’s mouth “Marcy! Stop that!” but they had no idea what that meant or how it related to opening up their milk.

There was a shuffling kind of noise, and then a sigh into the mic. Leslie guessed the Milk Lover had put her headphones back on.

They cleared their throat. “You, uh.” They didn’t know exactly where this sentence was going, but in the silence, they felt they had to say something. They could only hope it would be a good idea. “You really like milk, huh?”

A hush fell over the line.

Leslie was seized with the sudden soul-shattering conviction that they’d blown it.

“Read my url out to me.”

“Uh. It says ‘milk lover’.”

“Right. I think that answers your question.” The typing sounds resumed.

Leslie resumed their silent, anxious waiting.

Their phoned chimed.

It was a message from Santa Claus. Their delivery was now scheduled for 3:28 am.

The milk had to be out and ready by that time. They twisted their hands nervously in their lap, wishing there was anything more they could do.

At last, the Milk Lover made a satisfied noise, making Leslie sit up right.

“Hold your phone up to the milk cap,” she ordered.

Leslie did so.

With a twist and a hiss, the milk jug unsealed.

Leslie smiled, the kind of pure, unintentional smile of relief that you can’t stop if you want to. “It’s open,” they breathed. “It worked!”

The voice on the other end remained calm and business-like, but Leslie thought it maybe sounded a little proud, too. “Glad to hear it.”

“Thank you,” Leslie said, sincere gratitude evident in their voice. “This means so much to me.”

“It was my pleasure.”

“Can I ask one question?”

“You just did. You can ask one more, though, if you want.”

“Why did you do this? Why help me?”

The answer came immediately and unreservedly: “Because everyone deserves milk.”

Without another word, the connection dropped.

Leslie was alone again, with their now opened jug of milk.

They checked the time. 3:25 am.

They jolted to their feet, and flew to the counter, where the Amazon Deliveries glass sat waiting. Hands shaking faintly with adrenaline, they hastily poured the milk, bringing it level with the pre-measured line. They gripped the glass in both hands and, leaving the milk jug open on the counter behind them, carried it out to their apartment building’s doorstep, where they’d designated the landing zone.

As they set the milk down, they thought they heard a quiet noise. Their breath caught. They leapt for the door, and slammed it behind them. They sank to the floor and listened.

Yes – it was the unmistakable sound of sleigh-bells and drone rotors.

Santa Claus had arrived.

Leslie waited with bated breath. They heard faintly the ‘ding!’ of the drone connecting to the local network and downloading the cookies they had left out for it. Then more whirring, more jingling as it flew as directed to the landing zone. The thump of the package settling on the floor was followed by the sipping sounds of milk through the drone’s straw and into the charger. It sucked until it drew air. Then the rotors’ whirring resumed, and Santa jingled off to the next delivery.

When all was quiet, Leslie slipped outside. There on the doorstep was a bag, containing all the gifts they had chosen for their family and friends this year.

Beside it was the empty glass of milk.

Leslie breathed a sigh of relief. Christmas was saved, thanks to the Milk Lover.

- The End -

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for reading <3 Go drink some milk