#i seriously spent so much time on this

[brilla-brilla-estrellita]

Snowbaz & Co Barbie Outfits

I was chatting with a few others in discord and we were all in agreement that Simon and Baz would absolutely be going to see Barbie, and would be bringing Mordelia, Petra, and Sophie along.

But what would they wear?

This is how I’ve spent my job hunting free time over the last few weeks.

Pink and nonsense below the cut.

Petra

I feel like she’s a total horse girl. She spends all of her time thinking about horses and drawing horses and riding horses both real and imaginary. When Baz tells her they’re going to dress up for the movie, Petra is ready with her pink accessories to be Equestrian Barbie. There are a few versions of this Barbie, but I wasn’t that into them. Petra can do better. I asked my horse-riding friends how they would Barbie-fy the standard English riding look, and they said pink accessories. So:

Let’s start with our base equestrian look. White top with pink lining on the collar/cuffs, beige or... whatever color that is for the breeches, and field boots (I hear this is what they are called?). Then we add the pink accessories! (Yes, that is a unicorn on the end of that crop). Hot pink breeches optional. I’m foregoing the riding coat because it’s summer and we just don’t need that extra layer, but it does really pull the look together, and I did find a suuuuuper cute pink one. 

I don’t know anything about riding, especially English riding, so don’t come at me if this doesn’t make any sense (I would like to know how you would Barbie-fy your own riding look, though!).

Links: Base Outfit (left), Gloves, Crop, Helmet Cover, Breeches

Sophie

Sophie heard “wear pink” and knew just the dress for the occasion. This was the dress she wore for her most recent birthday party (because they totally have super posh, fancy kid birthdays that require nice new dresses, right?). I’m pretty sure the twins are somewhere around 10 now, and this is definitely something I would have worn as a 10 year old.

My inspiration for Sophie’s look was the 2010 Modern Princess Barbie (left) and the 2011 Cut ‘N Style Princess (right).

Links: Barbie Modern Princess (left), Dress, Barbie Cut ‘N Style Princess (right)

Mordelia

I imagine Mordelia goes immediately to a retro look. She’s around 15 at this point and could totally be into makeup and fashion. I like to imagine she’s kind of artsy, and while she’s the perfect age to be in her emo phase (which I would love for her to have), I understand this is not a “thing” anymore among the youths. Either way, I like to think Mordelia is a bit of a chameleon and floats around to whatever style inspires her at the moment. (Am I projecting? Yes. Yes, I am.)

I think she would prefer to go for the original 1959 Barbie with the black and white swimsuit (bodysuit?) and sunglasses, but Baz insists on pink (or Simon... yeah... it’s definitely all Simon). So they compromise on a modern take on the Flower Power era of the 60s and 70s. The dress has the large-scale, brightly colored floral print and miniskirt of the 60s with the bell sleeves more common in the 70s. I used this 1969 P.J. Talking doll for inspiration.

She goes all-out on the makeup with the recently revived and renovated mod eye look (top left) and sort of clumped, thick bottom lashes (bottom right) (there’s got to be a better way to describe that....). And the knee-high white boots, of course. She’s really just an amalgamation of all the most fun trends of the 1960s.

Can you tell I had the most fun with this one?

Links: Mod-inspired Eye Makeup (top left), Dress, P.J. Talking doll, Boots, Classic Mod Eye Makeup (bottom right)

Simon

I had a really hard time with both of the boys. But here we are. As soon as I saw the 1982 Ken Fashion Jeans, I knew that was my inspiration for Simon. It just felt so right. Though I didn’t use the actual jeans part as the inspiration, I did go with another 80s jean staple: acid wash jeans. And imagine the light pink shirt is actually the most obnoxious hot pink you can think of. 

I like to think Simon already had both of these pieces in his closet. Baz will be ensuring those top buttons stay undone all day, as god intended.

Honorable mention to this shirt that also has a Simon-look-alike for a model (tbh I still think maybe I should pick that one every time I look at it) and this basically mesh shirt.

Links: Soft Pink Knit Shirt (top left), Hot Pink Polo (top right), Acid Wash Jeans, Ken Fashion Jeans doll

Baz

The one that I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for that I’m also sure is going to disappoint... Baz. Boy did I struggle with Baz. What would he wear? A suit? More casual? More costume-y? Ultimately I decided casual since everyone else would be casual, it’s summer, and, more importantly, I couldn’t find any hot pink floral suits for men.

Once I narrowed it down to casual, I still couldn’t decide. I didn’t even have a good reference for inspiration. Nothing felt quite Baz.  Honestly, I need help.

I think I’ve settled on this large-scale floral print on the top left that feels like a very Barbie-esque print, but it’s not quite right. It for sure needs to be a little less boxy and a little more tailored like the slightly more classic Bazzy floral shirts below. The cherry blossoms (top right) are pretty and pink, but not quite Barbie and not quite Baz. The bottom left seems the most... typical? Not a bad choice (aside from the fact that Baz absolutely would not shop at Target or Walmart where I found this shirt). The bottom right is a little more bold and has the hot pink, but... I’m just not sure. 

And of course we need a good “Baz, you’re wearing jeans!” moment. Why is there a picture of Trent Crimm/James Lance instead of jeans on the left, you ask? When is a photo of Trent Crimm not relevant to Baz? He’s wearing jeans, isn’t he?

Links: Beautiful James Lance in Jeans, Large-Print Floral Shirt (top center), Cherry Blossoms Shirt (top right), Small Floral Print Shirt (bottom center), Shiny and Bold Floral Print (bottom right)

What do you all think? Which top is the most Baz x Barbie? Has anyone else thought about what everyone would wear to see Barbie? I’d love to see!

[thefirstknife]

Some lore tabs that killed me dead and I'll never recover from them. Seasonal gauntlets are about Zavala realising and coming to terms with the fact that he is mortal and has mortal pains. Also, finally, the full confirmation that Guardians resume aging when they lose their Light:

He moved his chair back and considered his knee. What had he done to hurt it? He had not exercised yet, he had not gone on his usual patrol… he had done nothing. Why would a knee hurt from doing nothing? The riddle dissolved. He was starting to age.

But also:

He allows a hand to rest on his aching knee. To venerate it. He feels it solid under his palm. It is his, it is real, it is both portentous and precious. He is aging. He will age. An absurd and joyous thought warms in his chest: how fortunate, to have lived long enough to grow old. How invaluable, to make the space between himself and the horizon matter. How much time is left? And is it best spent with his knees under a desk?

Genuinely crying over this. How fortunate to live long enough to grow old. Man. Also at the end he asks for a break for one week and Ikora offers him two weeks.

The next one just... I have no words. It has to be read in full. It's about Saint going through it, having memories of his past and also dealing with the guilt with what's happening to Mithrax. Truly every sentence in this one is a gutpunch all the way to the end. Excerpts:

The hum of activity was overpowering yet reassuring to Saint-14 as he stopped to watch an older Eliksni expertly weave fabric on a well-worn loom. The woven symbols were unique and unfamiliar to the Exo, but he watched in awe as an iridescent glow emerged within the vibrant cerulean cloth. Fit for a Kell, Saint mused to himself— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory echoed in his mind. All he could feel in this moment… was shame.

Saint remembering his crimes against the Eliksni and feeling shame.

He hurried past the weaver and through the crowd, landing squarely in front of a tea stand, a sample placed in his hand before he could open his mouth to refuse. He looked down. The opaque liquid steamed in his cup, pungent and medicinal. Like distilled Darkness, Saint realized— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory filled his sight. All he could feel in this moment… was sadness.

Tea reminded him of all the stuff with Osiris and he is not processing it well. I say excerpts but I have to put the rest entirely because like. Okay.

Saint placed his favorite keepsake, a small stuffed bear, on the Kell's throne. Gently, he adjusted the lavender ribbon at its neck; the crisp satin sat in stark contrast to the bear's hazy black eyes, to its slightly worn ear and well-loved fur. A gift, once a comfort to a child of the City. A gift, once a comfort to Saint in the face of loss, in the face of— Breath caught in his throat; hands shook— Flashes of memory swelled in his heart. Osiris. His strong laugh. His deep, soulful eyes. The warmth of his smile. Of his touch. Memories of comfort, but all he could feel in this moment… was guilt. Intense and overwhelming, like daggers cutting through him, sharpness bleeding through sweetness. Saint breathed deeply and stared at the medical equipment around the empty throne before him. "The cost of my joy," Saint whispered, and he wept.

He has a teddy bear. He once gave it to a child, but someone returned it to him when he was grieving about Osiris, to comfort him, and he'd kept it. And he put it on Mithrax's throne because he feels guilt that Mithrax is suffering because he helped him and Osiris.

I'm ending it all.

[adhdtsukasa]

tsukasa tenma has ADHD!! except it's an actual analysis because 1. look at my url 2. i'm mentally unwell (and i started to love tsukasa mostly because i immediately recognized my ADHD traits in him). which is a thing i should probably leave for ADHD awareness month, HOWEVER!! it was my birthday yesterday and i wanted to spoil myself (i just kinda overlooked how much time writing it from scratch would take me, so i'm a bit late with it). and i reaaally don't wanna wait until november when i finally wrote it down because i'm so HYPED because i was preparing for it like what? two years? somewhere around it. and that's a LONG time.

please keep in mind that i'm no psychologist, psychiatrist nor a neurologist and while i do use some sources (cannot really confirm if they are true, though... because i forgot to write credits down... so i'm really sorry for that), most of this analysis was just based off on my personal experiences with the disorder (and i don't really have the full professional knowledge of what i struggle with i'm just a Boy). i mean, i am analyzing a character from a hatsune miku game. i think i'm already putting way too many effort than i should.

also the examples of tsukasa's behavior here are not all of the things, because i wrote down only the things i remember off from the top of my head. sorry, guys. my hyperactive ass is not sitting thru all the stories again just to get my crumbs, unfortunately.

anyways, with this a little bit unprofessional and messy introduction, let's get it started!

1. THE MAIN PART OF THIS WHOLE THING, AKA HOW THE ADHD SYMPTOMS CORRESPOND TO TSUKASA'S BEHAVIOR

i wanted to write it down in my own words, but i think the screen above has summed it up perfectly; there are some established symptoms of ADHD, but to be an ADHDer you don't have to experience them all. and this is going to explain why i'm gonna show a lot of these symptoms later, yet gonna connect only some of them with tsukasa. it's only these i have evidence for, and yet i think they're good enough to point at tsukasa and already say woah! an ADHDer!!

in short, there are three types of ADHD: hyperactive, inattentive (ADD) and combined. the combined one is the most common iirc, so that's also what i'm going to focus on today. especially since for a rep of the other types, i could say that shizuku's a rather great representation of ADD — but that's not the point of my ted talk today, so i'm not going to go into the detail about it. i'm sure some momojan or shizuku oshi would do better than me in this field, so i'm leaving it to the experts.

these are the symptoms that i managed to gather — the first two screens being about the symptoms viewed in children, the last one being about the symptoms viewed in adults. "in which one of them tsukasa belongs to?" that's a good question, because i actually don't know. calling a high schooler a child doesn't sit quite right with me, yet a freshly turned 17/18-years-old is not exactly an adult, either (although most of the symptoms i'm analyzing come from these that are viewed in adults). and while i do think tsukasa has more of the symptoms viewed in adults, we're gonna analyse them all! because i'm putting my all into this.

FORGETFULNESS

i believe there's not much left to say, as this is the most obvious one and everyone already knows that. even though it's not touched that much anymore for some reason, tsukasa's forgetfulness is his very apparent trait. it varies in severity a lot of times: from him basically forgetting both his childhood and true feelings in the main story to him, for example, forgetting his own phone and lunch (in the same day!!) in hinamatsuri. even saki in the same event, while they were arguing, called him a "big, dumb forgetter" and assumed that he forgot what happened the day he brought her the hinamatsuri dolls to hospital. while forgetting basically half of your life is not exactly normal and can be a sign of something bigger, like dissociative amnesia, his forgetting of just the ordinary things and it happening a lot definitely still fits this trait.

EXCESSIVE TALKING/PHYSICAL MOVEMENT

while this is something that you'd rather connect to emu (and for a good reason), it's not like tsukasa is completely devoid of it either; he talks a lot. he moves a lot. it's not on emu's level of hyperactivity, but it's also not "a lot" that's taken as a social norm, based on how the people around him react. he's putting the 1 in oddball 1 2, after all.

in holy night or some side stories connected to it (it might be meiko's side story? but i'm not exactly sure) it was also said that tsukasa moves in his sleep a lot to this point that his parents have to leave his christmas presents under his door instead of next to his bed.

oh, and he also talks to himself a lot. even in class, which was confirmed in chapter 6 of dazzling (or maybe even earlier, it's just the one moment that i remember). (but i'll get to this moment later on)

he says his long monologues, he strikes his poses at every occasion — and while i don't think that's the first thing you think of when you have "excessive talking/movement" in mind, for me it sure does count as it.

LITTLE OR NO SENSE OF DANGER

this point can seem rather weird, because "isn't tsukasa always riddiculed at rui's weird inventions"? well, yeah, he is, that is not a thing to deny. but he also agrees to try out most of them, if not all, if it's for the sake of the show. he's aware of what can happen, but he also doesn't back away if it means that he'll be one step closer to achieving his dream of stardom.

does it count as "little sense of danger"? well, i'm actually not sure, for me it doesn't, but maybe for someone it does. i'd say that's a rather weak point, but i wanted to include the explanation for the counterpoint of it — that's why i even mentioned it in the first place. i don't have a lot to say about this tbh.

update: oh, actually no, wait, i just remembered. remember how tsukasa in phoenix decided to not eat anything for three days just to be able to resonate with rio, while also having to do straining exercise on top of that? you certainly cannot say that's a safe thing to do, but he still went along with that in order to get the role. it makes me come to a conclusion that tsukasa actually has a sense of danger, but sometimes chooses to willingly ignore it if only it makes him get closer to fulfilling his dream. i think it's coming close enough to the little/no sense of danger to be actually considered an ADHD trait.

DIFFICULTY KEEPING QUIET

while i'm not sure if what i'm going to talk about is a difficulty keeping quiet in a traditional sense of way, it definitely counts as it, somehow: tsukasa is loud. like, really loud. and that's another obvious fact both for us and for characters in-universe, especially when thinking of tsukasa shiho's first thought is that he's kinda noisy, which can be seen in the "a friend's brother" 1koma. (and probably a lot of other cases. free shiho.)

tsukasa doesn't seem to realize that he's way louder than he should be and that him being loud is his first impression in most of the cases, though, or at least i don't remember any moment where it happens (and it's a possibility. then that's on me, i guess.). and yeah, i know what's the reason for it, obviously — he's supposed to be a comic relief character. because wansho's stories are mostly supposed to make you smile, as this is what wansho's aspiration is. however, as much as being intended to make the viewer laugh it wouldn't be, it still is a part of tsukasa's character, and a rather important one on top of that. his constant loudness is something that's definitely not considered normal by the society and could very well fit into this symptom.

and since i promised to elaborate on the mentioned before scene from dazzling chapter 6: when tsukasa talks to himself in class, it always ends up to be loud. and it already happened a few times.

(tl by tsukasa's #3 fan on youtube because i don't have proseka on my phone wah)

if it's not a difficulty keeping quiet, then i don't know what is. bro can scream up to 120dB as measured by robonene for god's sake.

IRRITABILITY/QUICK TEMPER

again, this is something that was more apparent with early game tsukasa, maybe he just got medicated. idk man. but even if it happened three, almost four years ago, it still happened, i don't make the rules. back in the early game, tsukasa was really easily losing his temper and getting annoyed, mad even — i mean, that was the whole point of the main story argument: tsukasa's first response to nene accidentally messing up their show, which was not even her fault, was to shout at her. and while this was obviously very important thing to him and being upset at this is a rather understandable reaction, taking this as far as screaming at a poor girl for not being to face the audience because of her anxiety is not something a person who can control their anger would do.

it could be also easily seen by his reaction to emu and rui's antics back in the early game, which were often stained with irritation.

another example is his hinamatsuri argument with saki, where, despite loving her so much, he still got slightly mad at her for not liking the new dolls he bought her. he started to regret his harsh words and actions soon enough, obviously, but it doesn't change the fact that it was rather easy for him to get him across.

INABILITY TO DEAL WITH STRESS

if i'm not mistaken, tsukasa has once said something along the lines of "is it anxiety? there's no way a star like me would feel anxiety" — but i cannot recall for the love of my life in which story it appeared, so i don't want to take it as a face value when i don't have a solid proof for it.

other than this vague mention of "something that's in the story but i don't remember where", i'll admit, i don't really have anything backing me up for this tbf. i mean, i guess maybe tsukasa doing his best to appear strong as a child to not worry his parents could work? because the stress of saki being in the hospital definitely was also present here, although i just see this more as a coping mechanism for his situation than a reaction to stress, so that's not a solid evidence either.

so, yeah. take this one with a grain of salt, actually.

from the symptoms that weren't listed here, i remember reading something about people with ADHD enjoying to show off more, which is certainly what tsukasa does often — and while it actually applies to me too, it wasn't on an english site so i didn't screenshot it and i cannot really find it anywhere in english... so even though i treat it just like my whole argument for the inability to deal with stress, i thought it's just worth mentioning.

however, there is obviously one more thing...

HYPERFIXATION/SPECIAL INTEREST

obviously, i'm talking about acting here: for tsukasa, acting aligns with all these criterias. it is his deep passion; it is something highly engaging for him; it is sometimes all-consuming for him; he tunes out the world around him when he thinks about how can he possibly improve his acting (see: the dazzling moment i showed earlier. yeah, i like to use it as a backing point a lot, as you can see.); and it is something that is his life-long interest.

is it his special interest or his hyperfixation, though? well, it's hard to tell...? because while according to screen two, spinterest revolves around a topic and hyperfixation revolves around an activity, so it would qualify what tsukasa feels towards acting as a hyperfixation, it's still kinda hard for me to call it so because of its length. yes, screen three clearly says that hyperfixation can last years, but they mostly revolve around shorter periods of time, after all (my longest hyperfixation was just a year long, for example). i think it's up to you to determine whether you'd call tsukasa's love for acting a hyperfixation or a special interest, but it's something from these two most certainly.

i'm also a big fan of the headcanon that tsukasa's other spinterest is kaito ww it's in no way a canon evidence (unfortunately!), but kaito's 1* side story, where tsukasa and emu are watching kaito's show and tsukasa is explaining to her why kaito's wearing a scarf somewhat implies that tsukasa knew a thing or two about kaito before the main story. and i'm all for it. colopale let tsukasa be a kaito fanboy pleaseee.

2. I REALLY LIKE ANALYZING SONGS, IF YOU CAN'T TELL

those who have already read a few of my things probably know what i love to do the most — analyzing songs!! so i wouldn't be myself if i just left tsukasa's commisions without analyzing them under the angle of neurodivergence, especially since the sole reason i became obsessed with the thought of ADHD tsukasa was that one sekahaji line (there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse you will always be famous).

of course, remember that only the world hasn't even started yet should be taken as a canon value! producers are often given space to do whatever they want in the lyrics of the songs they are commissioned for, so they're not canonical in any way. i think it's still fun to look at their lyrics and ramble about them for a bit, though. i've already got too carried away anyways.

won't be posting photos of the lyrics since i'd hit the images limit, but you can check them yourself — all the translations i'm taking, as always, from the vocaloid lyrics wiki. (since filament fever has two tls on there, i want to clarify that i've only looked at and considered in my analysis the official english one, because it's, well, official.)

THE WORLD HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET

besides the mentioned earlier there's too much noise, so much noise and it keeps getting worse, which i think of as a representation of overstimulation (since i used to see people asking "oh but why tsukasa has something about there being too much noise in a song made out of his feelings when he's such a loud person himself". because he likes the noise he makes, not the overwhelming, overstimulating noise from the outside!!), sekahaji also has a rather good amount of quotes that could be read as something connected to neurodivergence (based on the fact that it's not supposed to be a song about this topic): the main theme of these are procrastination, which can be seen in let's cross the end of all of this, partying forever and the world hasn't even started yet line itself. the thought of the world not even starting implies that there's still a lot of time left to do something, while "partying forever" can refer to deciding to give up on doing the things you should do and going to drown in something that indulges only you and yourself for the rest of eternity. while procrastination is not counted as an official ADHD symptom, it's a trait that people with the disorder very often have (for reasons obvious).

other lines, which i couldn't entirely fit into a box of a certain symptom, are there's too much conflict, so much conflict and it keeps growing (a parallel line to the noise one, so it means something! right) and let's break the plans for a harmonious future. in my personal interpretation, they both can be viewed as your typical neurodivergent struggle in a neurotypical society — "too much conflict" refering to an internal struggle of not being completely normal, while the "harmonious future" that's going to get broken are just the social norms that are going to be broken because of an off-putting, neurodivergent behavior. something that some neurotypical people dooon't really like.

TONDEMO-WONDERZ

since i've just talked about breaking the social norms, "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you, huh? line from tondemo-wonderz is going to go first, because it revolves around the same topic. it's the same case: it's about (subconscious, not intentional) fighting what's accepted by the society by just being yourself — because you're neurodivergent, you're different.

from the other lines in tondemo-wonderz, i have only one and it's take an eraser to your memories?!, which is pretty much self explanatory. as always, a mention of forgetting something in tsukasa's commision. who would've thought.

88 SHOOTING STARS

another self explanatory line that i have written down as first: it's okay if you only remember a little part of it sometimes. another mention of tsukasa forgor™, and while it corresponds with what happened in dazzling, it's still a line mentioning forgetfulness — so it's worth mentioning.

aren't we just inevitably going around in circles? and it's okay if you take a rest for a little bit sometimes can be interpreted as another mention of procrastination and while it's not that apparent as it was with sekahaji, because going in circles can refer to something else and taking a rest sometimes is not a bad thing at all, i still wanted to mention them here. for the record.

you ought to slip and fall in panic in the final moment is connected to a symptom that i showed, yet didn't elaborate on it (because i didn't have anything to work with) — making careless mistakes. the same case, yet with another symptom goes with is this not enough yet again? is this not how it's supposed to be? couldn't we go even further than this?, which can be seen as a reflection of unability to listen to instructions. a bit of reaching with this one (like this whole part damn), but as i said earlier: for the record, i'm leaving it here. to show that i had some intense thoughts.

tbf, when i think about it now, maybe the mentioned earlier "why?!" and "do it like this!!" aren't like you [...] could very well fit this symptom too.

MR SHOWTIME

mr showtime you will always be famous, because this is a song that gave me a looot of things to work with. i was so flabbergasted when i read these lyrics for the first time. tsukasa tenma why are you like this. /aff

there are a lot of lines hinting being easily distracted, and these are basically the very first ones, too: you know what? i just can't make up my mind, it's so messed up that i can't put my thoughts together and a merry-go-round (my thought process) goes round and round are all about it. like you cannot deny it this time, if it's not about being unable to stay focused then i really don't know what is [insert the tsukasa don't look away stamp here because i love it and it's my biggest motivation to actually focus whenever i do something]. the more i mess around and waste time, the more i become hungry / and i can't handle it can be seen as about procrastination again, and even not "can be seen", it's literally being frustrated at yourself for wasting time, that's the sole outcome of a procrastination!! being bothered by feeling anxious, meanwhile, is resonating with the inability to deal with stress once again.

also jumping the gun. driving in a zigzag manner can actually connected with the little to no sense of danger. because, as far as i'm aware, driving in a zigzag manner is certainly not a safe activity. don't do it at home.

from the symptoms that i haven't yet mentioned to this point, am i taking a long way? am i making a fruitless effort? can be reflecting difficulty organizing tasks — since the poor planning of your activities can make you take a long way and can make you do a fruitless effort. then, where's the fun in taking shortcuts all the time? can be read along the lines of something coming close to extreme impatience and while a person that's extremely impatient would actually enjoy taking the shortcuts to get closer to their goal or destination, said impatience can be also connected with the desire for something interesting to happen. a task can make you impatient not because it's long, but because it's simply boring — avoiding shortcuts can make it less boring, even if it extends its duration. with this explanation, it makes the unexpectedness (unexpected program) is the best part of the show (my life) perfectly fit into this category, even though i wouldn't call this line a sign of impatience on its own.

i have some issues with i'm pathetic. i can't satisfy myself, because... at first i thought of connecting it with either mood swings or inability to deal with stress, however i'm not sure if that's really it. i'm pretty sure it connects to neurodivergence in some way, but i just can't put my finger on it, so... i'm just leaving it here for the record, once again.

oh, and there's also i got lost in the world (stage) and / the end credits rolled (the curtain fell), which also is pretty much summing up the experience of being neurodivergent in the neurotypical society. in the middle of trying to stay true to yourself and having to mask just to be accepted, it's easy to get lost — and once you do so, there's no going back. the curtain falls.

to end this part of the analysis, i'd show the lyrics from filament fever and sekai wo terasu tetrad here. i won't do this, however, and the reason for it is fairly simple — they don't give me much material to work with and i'm not really surprised, because mr showtime has succesfully sucked all of the neurodivergent coded lyrics into itself. there just won't be another song like mr showtime, i fear.

i can just say that in filament fever there is running away from the flow of time — which got me thinking of either procrastination and unability to stick to time-consuming tasks, with the former being more plausible as a potential interpretation... but that would be it.

3. NAKAYAMA IS A METAPHOR FOR NEURODIVERGENT MASKING AND IT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER SAID BUT YOU HAVE TO HEAR ME OUT ON THIS

listen, i know how it sounds.

i'm not actually a fan of trying to fit every thing a character does into a box of a metaphor, symbol or allegory, i really am not. i think some things should just stay as simple as they are, but this thought has been bothering me ever since i've first seen spoilers of what's happening in a story where you're the star for the very first time. i'm in no way saying it has any canonical meaning, but i just thought it would be fun to include. because maaaybe someone sees my vision.

for those who haven't seen tsukasa4 yet or want to have a recap of what has happened in it: the whole event story revolves around tsukasa trying to grasp his role (as always). wxs got recommended to shunmei-za by shousuke and went there to practice their acting skills, immediately getting thrown onto the preparation for their next performance. tsukasa, however, is not a lead this time — he got the role of a supporting character and has got basically three lines to say on stage total. since tsukasa's used to playing lead roles, he obviously has issues with grasping the role — it's hard to use method acting in regards of a character that says three sentences total and nothing more. with help of bakuno reki, one of the actors in shunmei-za, and the rest of wxs, he manages to create a portrayal of nakayama that would make him "come to life" and "be a protagonist of his own story", something that would make it easier for him to get into role, however...

he gets a little bit too carried away with his acting during the actual performance.

and this is not something that would ruin the whole play, obviously, he's just a supporting character, the less invested audience would probably forgot about his impact on the story after five minutes of his last appearance — but he still made a slip-up. he still resonated with his role, but didn't achieve the utmost perfection. he still did well acting, after all, he managed to receive praise from the director in the end... but it's still a very apparent mistake that was made.

(tl, once again, by the awesome tsukasa's #3 fan)

and that's where the nakayama masking metaphor theory (it's not even a theory but it sounds cooler this way) comes in.

nakayama is supposed to be just a man. from what we know about him, he's in his late twenties and works as an editor — and even though tsukasa makes up a whole backstory for him later on, he's still supposed to be ordinary. nothing special. he's coming nowhere near the other roles that tsukasa has played, he's not on the same level as miles, torpe and rio. and while you could possibly consider torpe and rio as rather ordinary, they still had something interesting to happen to them, the main reason why they were lead roles for their respective plays. in the tsukasa4 play, nakayama has nothing like that. he's literally just a guy, he's normal. and "normal" is a keyword here.

tsukasa did everything he could to fit into nakayama's role. he followed the script, he took the advice from a more talented and professional actor that is bakuno, he didn't do any mistakes during his preparations — and yet he still managed to mess up in the end. why?, besides of the fact that he just let himself become one with nakayama during the performance and it resulted in a supporting character outshining the lead?

if we take as a fact that tsukasa is, in fact, neurodivergent, it would make sense that he's having troubles with playing a normal person — because he's not exactly normal either. and this would very well work out as a metaphor of masking; even when you try your best, even when you mask yourself perfectly, you can still make slip-ups. you can still accidentally drop the act in middle of something that absolutely required it, or, similiar to what tsukasa did, can accidentally overdo it and end up perceived as even more weird than you'd be without masking. something something i got lost in the world and the end credits rolled. rings a bell?

and i'm not saying that tsukasa has a problem with masking, because he doesn't. he tries his best to pass as a normal member of society, but he also makes no effort in actively masking his weirdness (or else he wouldn't be a part of oddball one two). however, if you want to neurodivergent code your character, it would make sense to include a possibility of it in some way, right? especially since wxs stories' already had the theme of dealing with being perceived as weird (eg. rui's whole backstory, obviously). even if it's not affecting tsukasa directly, i think it would be cool to include something that indicates this issue's existence in his story and, in a way, his struggles.

however, as i said earlier, this is a very stupid thought and that's why i left it for the very end. i don't actually think that how tsukasa played nakayama was supposed to be a metaphor for masking, it's just a pure coincidence that it could be interpreted like that when you think about it too much.

aaand with this, we've finally come to an end!! (finally. i'm so exhausted.) i don't have anything more to say about this topic. maybe i'll retweet it with some more evidence in the future if we ever get more ADHDkasa content. for now, it would be all!

is tsukasa actually intentionally written as an ADHDer? Who Knows! there's a possibility that he is, but even if he's not, he's still one in my heart. regardless of the status of his possible neurodivergence, analyzing his behavior in this light was still very fun! and maybe i even converted someone into the ADHDkasa hell.

feel free to add something if you want to, and feel free to correct me if i got some things wrong! i still hope that even though of how messy this whole thing is written, i did tsukasa justice and didn't accidentally say too much nonsense lmao

...i hate ending analyses.

[boygirlover]

Mabel Episode 32: Temporal Snake. In which they all fall down.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?

put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings

[rux363]

"He was, unfortunately, very handsome."

This one's a real interesting prompt because I overthink this a lil too much - but here’s what I have for this year's KaiShin One Prompt Challenge!

Please do check out how everyone has gone about with the prompt at @dcmkkaishinevents! And once again, thank you mac for organising it!

Thoughts on it under the cut!

Right. Okay. I really struggled with this one. Not only in terms of time constrains (it's been a really busy time) but also because the prompt is reaallllly interesting. Like super interesting that I just jumped onto to join the event because I wanted to challenge myself (been in a slump lately and this prompt was screaming at me) and I was latching on real hard to something here:

Shinichi and Kaito look alike. So alike that Kaito has gotten mistaken as Shinichi before, and he has used it to his advantage too.

How do I use the prompt, while also remembering that they would look the same? I thought about going the crack route, as seen below:

Kaito: He is, unfortunately, very handsome ??: ... don't you guys look exactly the same? [Narcissist much?] K: oh. Right

But I wasn't up for it. I tried thinking about the idea of one of them looking like an absolute dork (affectionately), and then the line - but it kept feeling wrong to me, because I feel like that would be attractiveness. Handsome is too much of a physical word for me.

As Faith (@indelibleme) says, "this prompt is more for the "damn he's hot" type of vibe lol" - which is absolutely true.

So it's something about the physical appearance. Or at least that's what I want to focus on. But they look the same. (Kinda. You get the idea)

And then, it hit me. What if we make it so that Kaito likes Shinichi - everything from his intelligence to his appearance, and it's not because he looks like Kaito - he doesn't feel attracted to himself duh - but it's because it's how Shinichi looks. Kaito just happens to look like him. And is pining after him in the mirror.

Like. Does that even make sense? Probably. I don't know And right after that thought, I had that image of Kaito looking at the mirror and seeing Shinichi.

AND THEN THAT ONE FIC THAT POPPED UP IN MY HEAD KEPT REVOLVING IN MY HEAD WHENEVER I THINK OF THIS BECAUSE IT IS ABSOLUTELY NAILING IT I JUST HAD TO HUNT IT DOWN AGAIN yea. Here's the link to it: the only victim of these innocent crimes (is me) by dytabytes - it's an explicit fic so 18+ only and please read the tags and summary. I guess this drawing is an ode to that fic because when I went back to reread it, the premise really hit all the right spots.

Anyways, again, Kaito and Shinichi has their similarities, and they also have differences. This is just one route I went and m quite happy with what I have.

There was going to be an exposition and conclusion that used the prompt more explicitly, featuring the crack portion, before what I have - but time and energy. I am lacking of them.

If you have read uptil here - seriously thank you and have a good day/night/whatever time is a social construct haha

[itsalwaysforyou]

I AM FOREVER YOUR MOST DEVOTED BELIEVER

kenny ortgea, descendants 3 / katy prickett, medieval 'love motto' gold ring found near frinton / x / x / x / 墨香铜臭, heaven official's blessing / mitski, geyser / dove cameron and khalid, we go down together / mitski, i'm your man / anne sexton, 'a letter to w. d. snodgrass' / x / florence + the machine, heavy in your arms / x

[crehador]

completely forgot to say in my other post but TIME SKIP AKIYAMA HELLO?????? bonding with the future father-in-law already i'm absolutely obsessed with this

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[ruskatuskapuskasapuska]

Ì̸̢͉̯̜̹̗̇͋̉͌ ̸̥̪̆͗Ẅ̶̭̠̟́̋̄̀͠͝A̶̢̻̣̤̿͐́N̴͍̒̐͝T̵̛̬̦̬̻̘̦̅͗̈́̋̊ ̶̧͈͊̅T̵̪͉̩̠̐̏̋͐̔̿͝Ó̶͚̟͙͙̩̮͆̒̂͒̕ ̶̡̥͚̥̅̈́̾E̵̱͖̦̘͍͂́̍̈́͋X̷̱̃͒͗I̶̩͉̎Ş̷͍͓͇͙̭̓͂͝T̵̩̆́̒́̔

asdfghjkl mephiles i am so normal about mephiles i want to toss him into the void then dive after him and kick his pathetic ass and give the guy a hug and ask him to pay child support for all the little guys he keeps conjuring out of the goo and put said little guys in a salad spinner and-

I was quite happy when he got a boss battle in Shadow Generations :)

"Oh I'll just spruce up this sketch a little," I said. "I won't spend days/weeks on this :)"

vvv The og sketch in question vvv

[dreadfutures]

i know everyone loves talking bout solas feet but

(not really spoilers, but technically some of these crops are from da4 - literally no spoilers tho)

since like? 2018? 2020? we've seen that Solas is wearing this golden sentinel plate under his new jacket.

and all ancient elves - sentinels in the temple of mythal; spirits in Trespasser...

and those we may have seen in DA4 - wear it too.

[venmotif]

new mayoi has me feeling. things. also he killed me with all of this fucking hair but I'd like to think it turned out well

total time 4 hours 49 minutes but at least 2 of those hours were spent solely rendering hair lmao

[mint-ty]

While Damon is busy with his perfume promo (which I need to get my hands on) and doesn't have time to lurk here, I made another dumb test. He said he's dreaming about smiling Kris, but I don't believe that's his favorite Kris 🤨 Pls help me choose:

[logansargey]

https://www.tumblr.com/tsarinablogs/756141182300602368/httpswwwtumblrcomtsarinablogs756094651068497

The L*stappi*s are at it again! 🤦🏻‍♀️

What do you make of the constant “Max and Daniel aren’t really friends - it’s all for PR” stuff? They’ve really kicked it up a notch with the absolute Maxiel feast we got with the Goodwood Festival of Speed this weekend.

I'm actually so tired of L*stappies and how much they hate on Maxiel. They will do anything but accept the fact Max and Daniel are friends. They'll say Maxiel is for PR but hate when you say Charles and Max aren't actual friends and are also PR. The amount of hate Maxiel gets from L*stappen shippers is INSANE!! I have NO problem with ppl who ship them but as soon as they hate on Maxiel I'm completely done with them. It's disgusting.

Also, I love the fact that when you guys see L*stappies hating on Maxiel or seeing them say it's PR, you guys instantly show me. Like yes, this is our Maxiel safe space and I will go on a rant. And a lot of people enjoy it lmaoo

Lastly, if you guys think I'm crazy abt Maxiel, just wait until I see a hater on Simi. Literally made someone apologize to me for hating on Simi. Simi, Maxiel, Piarles, and Princess cake are protected by me.

[batsplat]

Hi bat!!! I was the motogp beginner anon from a while back... About a month later and working my way thru old races from 2000 I have accidentally developed a deep and profound fondness of Sete Gibernau... is it fair to say he is THE prototype for everything Vale did to his later rivals? Your posts on him and their relationship are everything to me - they have given me much to think about, and also facilitated the brain rot! Any thoughts on their 'reunion & make-up' from 2014 onwards?

hi!! I really hope the race recs tag was useful lol, despite my obvious failure to actually finish answering that ask. and omg a sete convert!! it really is going to be half a dozen people soon, exciting times. I'm going to put a pin in the 'reconciliation' half of the ask because the other half was already long enough... and I decided to focus here on valentino's actual tactics rather than his emotions. I still think the sete rivalry did lay the emotional groundwork for subsequent rivalries - but I don't currently have all that many more thoughts from what I said here, here, here, here, here, here, and here (lol)

so yeah, I think the sete rivalry functions as a mix of a prototype and a warning - and it's the first bit I'll be talking about in this post. valentino does have a few rivals pre-sete who he has at least a little bit of tension with - biaggi most infamously, but also jorge martinez and harada in his 125cc/250cc days. and while all these rivalries are formative in their own right, they also come with a certain... spontaneity. valentino makes a flippant comment about biaggi to some reporters, a feud is born as a result. it's kind of the training wheels feud - valentino's just saying shit really, he's provoking biaggi sometimes deliberately and sometimes less so, it's all very earnest and youthful and unrestrained. while he's already a natural communicator, he's a lot less skilful in actually using the media to his own ends, to pursue an agenda or press home an advantage. he's just reacting to every situation as it occurs, leaving us with a feud that consists of mostly isolated flashpoints. that isn't to say there wasn't a sense of escalation - catalunya 2001 and its fistfight beckons - but it's missing a narrative arc... and the reason for that is that valentino is not quite yet exerting his authorial hand on events. obviously valentino is not, in fact, a god and isn't exerting perfect control how each rivalry unfolds - but it is noticeable how many of them end up having such a scripted feel to them. sometimes, this stage-managing didn't work out for him and he came out second best when the dust had settled - but more often than not, he played it to perfection. hence the nine titles

and it's that narrative autonomy that really becomes a feature of valentino's game during the sete rivalry. at first, this magic touch isn't really maliciously wielded against sete... they're not enemies, they're still going on holidays together, valentino is just using sete as a sounding board to work through some things. the stakes in 2003 aren't as much directly competitive as they are psychological - despite 'only' having a 29 point advantage 9/16 rounds into the season, valentino was probably always going to be fine on that front. he's not worried about losing the title... but he is feeling unhappy at honda, he is frustrated with how much he's being criticised, he hates to lose to sete. and so, he uses the humiliation of his sachsenring loss that immediately preceded the summer break, twisting it so that it becomes an inflection point of that season (and also that rivalry). he does all the mind games hair dyeing and decides to sign for yamaha and all of it, and then he bounces back to claim the victory at brno by .042s. where he does his extremely on the nose prisoner's celebration to perfectly define what that season was all about - he's breaking free and taking control of his own story. zero subtlety whatsoever. and that's the climax of the season... like, he's crowned champion in sepang (where he crucially brings back the prisoner celebration but indicates with the novelty lock that he is now free), and his defining victory that year is probably at phillip island... but essentially, his arc that year is resolved at brno. after that, he's reaping the rewards

this is still valentino playing it on easy mode relatively speaking but it's kinda freak behaviour to just decide he 'won't be taking any more prisoners', as he puts it in his autobiography, and then basically stops losing. uses his fury to drop fifteen seconds on the field in australia. remember this is the first time he wins valencia too, because he needs to say goodbye to his bike the correct way or whatever. okay

sete is a little bit incidental to the narrative that year - they're mostly just setting the stage for what's to come. we do get little hints... suspicions on valentino's part (whether founded or not) that sete was taking this competition business rather seriously after all. valentino's remarkably out of character face of thunder after losing at the sachsenring. how they're both playing off this rivalry as so so different to the valentino/biaggi fiasco... they're different, you see, they're friends! you can be rivals and respect each other. it's all fine. sete mainly functions as a plot device to put pressure on valentino - a new consistent rival emerging, one who wasn't supposed to be the challenger, a little older and smarter and without much of a track record of success. not the guy who should be challenging valentino. valentino is generally very pro the concept of rivals, even when he's obviously attempting to destroy them. he's aware that they're part of the show, that you need a great rival for a great fight, that beating the very best is what it's all about. also, obviously, it's an important way of motivating himself. valentino is made better for that sachsenring defeat, for having to sit with his mistake at the very last corner, for knowing he should have won that race and had allowed it to slip through his fingers. for that first half of 2003, he's all over the place, error prone, emotionally a bit of a mess - he's been winning so much, it really isn't hitting the same way anymore. he hasn't been winning the right way. sete reminds him of just how much valentino hates to lose. and valentino learns the lesson gladly

now, 2004 doesn't have quite so neat a turning point, and instead features multiple moments where valentino acts to take control of the season. the drama starts early, at welkom, featuring a bit of a biaggi cameo appearance at a time where biaggi was no longer valentino's major rival (though he does still feature in that year's title fight). as valentino describes in his autobiography, he knows demanding victory of himself and his team wasn't a realistic expectation for that race - but sometimes, you just have to tell yourself a story, engage in a little self-delusion... and, hey, maybe you can turn that delusion into reality. after that, it looks for a little while like that success might have been illusory, like valentino might be on the back foot on his weaker bike after all, with sete's back-to-back victories at jerez and le mans. and then you get another inflection point - the trio of races, mugello, catalunya and assen, where valentino takes control of the season after duelling with sete for the victory back-to-back-to-back. each race comes with its own special significance, from sete's rain dance comment at mugello and alleged yellow flag infringement, to his defeat on home turf at catalunya, to his inability to successfully play the gracious loser at assen. the cracks are appearing in the friendship, yes, but valentino is also wrenching back momentum to his side in rather a dramatic fashion. from then on, it looks like he might be able to see out the season in a straightforward manner

except, of course, he can't. because then you get qatar. I do increasingly feel like I have a fairly good grasp of what Really happened, but that's for another time... the key point is that it's a humiliating experience for valentino, both the penalty itself and then the crash, and it's one where he completely loses his head in a fairly uncharacteristic manner. plus, he hurt his pinkie finger. valentino could have emerged from that weekend cowed and chastened, having to backpedal on some of the... more creative remarks he'd made about sete. clearly, sete was expecting that valentino would do so - or at the very least not continue to escalate the hostilities. and it is during that sepang 2004 weekend that valentino's stage managerial skills are truly allowed to shine. the high drama of the presser, valentino's refusal to concede any ground to sete as sete had to realise in real time he'd wandered into the wrong genre and his previous close friendship with valentino counted for nothing. valentino's subsequent domination of the weekend, the imperious form as sete buckled when the title was in sight. the cruelty of valentino's celebrations, making sure to properly twist in the knife while he had the chance. title fight back on track

after that, of course, comes the process by which valentino unravels sete entirely. he presses home the advantage at phillip island, taking quite a few risks to snatch the win from sete on the very last lap - he did not have to win the race to win the title, but he did so anyway because he needed to beat sete. call it an investment for the future. the opening round of the following season brings with it the rivalry's single most dramatic moment that... well, it doesn't quite end the rivalry, as discussed in this post sete does still have plenty of chances to win in 2005 - but essentially valentino ensures at jerez that he will have an enduring psychological advantage. a victory that really should never have been dramatic! valentino learned his lesson from the sachsenring, he wasn't trying any dramatic last lap overtakes. he overtook sete with three laps to go at jerez, which should really have been that. as detailed in this post, it's his last lap mistake that even necessitates that dramatic final corner overtake. now, as it happens, everything works out perfectly for valentino. losing a home race like that on the final corner is absolutely brutal, valentino's deftly played post-race theatre and the perception that sete didn't stand up to him only makes things worse. valentino was always going to win the 2005 season, but he ensured in the very first race that there would not even be a title fight. but again! crucially! valentino was not planning this! the last lap of the race was very much not what he was intending to happen - it was an error on his part that could have easily cost him the win in rather painful a fashion that started all of this. valentino is ready to risk a crash when he shoves it up the inside of sete... his desperation is key, but so is his lack of planning

so that's where we're at with the sete rivalry... high drama, all these turning points and on-track and off-track theatre that coalesced into a narrative - of which valentino was the master. it feels different from the biaggi rivalry... this isn't just two guys that hate each other, it's a story. and when you frame it in those terms, when you speak to how it feels like valentino is flexing his authorial hand in helping these events unfold... well, then you do start seeing the blueprint for subsequent rivalries. the 2008 and 2009 seasons have a key similarity: a single race that completely changed the momentum of the season, remembered in part for a single highly memorable overtake that valentino inflicted on his title rivals. so if you take that trio of races - jerez 2005, laguna 2008 and catalunya 2009 - you're in a situation where valentino's three most famous overtakes weren't just fun or memorable in their own right, but fundamentally changed the dynamic of their respective rivalries. which... I mean, that feels unlikely, right? sometimes, dramatic races just happen - there's no guarantee they're going to completely transform the rivalry as well as the season. once can happen to anyone, twice is pretty striking, but three times? bit odd innit

I've already talked about this a bit here:

and I've just posted about this in considerable more depth in the context of the 2008 season, which we'll circle back to later. it's one of the most interesting seasons in terms of how the momentum shifts happen over the course of the year, which is why I've detailed the build-up to laguna in considerable detail on this blog. see posts on mugello, catalunya, donington, assen, sachsenring, and laguna itself. here's a basic overview of how the 2008 season unfolds:

the key turning points are valentino getting to grips with the bridgestones, the post-race catalunya test where ducati finally gets their shit together, and then the race at laguna. I don't think you quite get the sense of how dramatic a turning point laguna was if you just look at the results - it's important to emphasise that despite still being behind in the points, casey was the title favourite headed into that race. the idea was that once casey and ducati got going, we could easily be in for a repeat of 2007. just total domination. casey wins those three pre-laguna races very comfortably, having basically led every single practise session throughout those weekends. by the time you get to laguna, it's his fifth straight pole position. even if valentino comes in second to casey every single time for the rest of this season, the points gap is at this stage still way too small for that to work out for him. if you told someone before the race at laguna that casey would win every remaining race that season - sure, it wouldn't have been likely, but it definitely would've been seen as plausible. quite frankly it would've been seen as plausible even right after the race at laguna itself, as is reflected in the discourse in the immediate aftermath of the race

in 2009, the title fight is looking extremely open headed into catalunya. valentino is actually third in the standings before that race, behind casey and jorge - though of course nobody knew at the time that casey would not be in title contention for much longer. there is again this slight sense of valentino having his back against the wall... horrendous race at le mans, then brings it home to third in a similarly messy race at mugello because he knows he can't afford to be throwing away any more points. which... losing at mugello? the race he'd won seven times in a row? the one race in a season where you could reliably pencil in valentino's name as the winner, even if he often achieved his victories in rather chaotic a manner? the italian press was not happy with him, and even less so when jorge beats him to pole at catalunya. there are several references in the race commentary to the italian press writing valentino off, calling him washed (to paraphrase), which is objectively a teensy bit of an overreaction but. y'know. getting consistently beaten by your younger teammate is just not a good look. valentino needed that win at catalunya, both him and jorge desperately wanted to beat each other in a direct duel - and all in front of jorge's own home crowd

which, again. it all just feels scripted, doesn't it. that's what we're coming back to here - this feeling that from the sete rivalry onwards, valentino somehow manages to control the narrative to such an extent that things just keep perfectly working out for him. he wins both laguna and catalunya, everyone remembers those as two of his greatest victories - not just because he needed the win but because of how he executed them. the corkscrew, catalunya's final corner... these defining images that have outlasted the context of the seasons in which they happened. and crucially - crucially! they actually do manage to completely change the profile of their respective seasons. 2009 is a bit messier, though broadly speaking valentino is in control of that year's title fight post-catalunya. let's bring back 2008's results:

that laguna to motegi run? absolute sicko behaviour. casey is the faster rider at the very least in laguna, brno and misano. motegi is valentino's title-sealing race. valentino isn't really the title favourite anymore headed into laguna, and he literally does not lose another race until he wins the title. competing against prime casey. how does that happen, right

so that's the case for sete being the prototype: it's the authorial intent that's striking in these subsequent title-winning seasons, something that originated with sete. you just have these races where it's like valentino draws a little red circle around the date on the calendar and goes, 'okay, this is my momentum switch race'. like sepang 2004, his back is against the wall and he manages to change the complexion of the title fight in a single weekend. like phillip island 2004, he won't be denied his fairy tale victory. like jerez 2005, a single dramatic overtake permanently changes the rivalry. which is all well and good, but there's an obvious follow-up question. how is valentino doing this? why do his rivals not simply say no to being woven up in his dramatic narratives? why is he being allowed to pick and choose his momentum switch races? how does he keep getting away with this...

and it is at this juncture that I will present my five-step plan to playing god in local motorcycling competition, a foolproof (mostly) way of ensuring that the fates intervene on your side. here goes:

choosing the occasion

going in with a plan

playing the 'joker'

milking the moment

bite harder when the opponent is already bleeding

there you go. that's the lessons he learned from fighting sete that later allowed him to script his rivalries. I've cracked the code

let's go through them one by one. the thing is, valentino really did pick his momentum switch races in both laguna 2008 and catalunya 2009. obviously, he couldn't have predicted things would've worked out quite so perfectly for him, but he wasn't just playing it like any other weekend. and both times, he made a great call. at laguna, it's notable that he tells his confidantes he does not intend to let casey win the eve of the race - aka after qualifying has already taken place. laguna might be a track casey was incredible at the previous year and valentino had a rather mediocre record at, but at least valentino knew he'd be lining up right alongside casey. he still needed to get a decent start, a metric in which casey is exponentially more accomplished than valentino, but at least it was theoretically possible for valentino to be in casey's vicinity (unlike at the sachsenring). the track layout of laguna also lends itself to the kind of race valentino was intending to execute in a way that, for instance, the next race at brno just wouldn't be as suited for. laguna is narrow, fast, scary - not a great track for overtaking. which makes defending against a substantially faster rider a way more feasible proposition than it would be on the considerably wider brno track. laguna was also just before the summer holidays, which is kind of a great time to inflict a humiliating defeat on your opponent - you're making them sit with the defeat for a few weeks, rather than letting them wipe the slate clean a few days later. (some might say it's preferable to immediately have more races so you can strike while the other party is still vulnerable but, well, that kind of summer break gap is fantastic for lasting psychological damage.) plus, the mismatch between casey's and valentino's laguna record was such - the momentum casey had built up was so considerable - that absolutely nobody was expecting valentino to challenge for the victory. more detail on the pre-race chat here

biblical levels of over

so yeah. this is obviously easier said than done, but there's really no better race to win when the pre-race rhetoric reads like that. catalunya 2009 has a similar combination of circumstances that make it the ideal momentum switch race... like laguna, it's when valentino really really needed a win. unlike laguna, it's a circuit where valentino has an excellent record at - and has been known to win quite a few duels in his time (as well as lose a rather memorable one to casey two years ago). it's also a circuit where jorge is strong, and unlike with laguna it's no real surprise that the two of them will be fighting for victory. a good circuit for racing and crucially also one that is good for valentino's racing - obviously, it's the last corner overtake that lives on in everyone's minds, but valentino has made much use in his time of his ability to brake particularly deep into the infamous turn one. and of course, it is jorge's home circuit. after beating valentino at his home track at the last race, there is nothing jorge would have liked more than to win in front of his own fans. he's even got a special livery... his celebrations if he'd won that race would have been something to behold. no better time to beat him... even better that there was a moment when jorge will have thought he already had the race won... like casey, element of surprise - just at a different point of the weekend

so, onto the next step. going in with a plan. again, obviously valentino could not have foreseen either of his infamous overtakes unfolding exactly as they did - but it is a case where you can trace back the overtake itself to his intentions going into the race. it's not just a complete coincidence he happened to pull off these specific overtakes in the most dramatic manner possible in what happened to be very important races... in both cases, the overtakes were a logical consequence of valentino's pre-race planning. at laguna, valentino knew that he could not allow casey to get away in front. the entire race was built around the single principle that he had to discard his preferred approach of shadowing his opponents, and instead had to go all in on disrupting casey from the front. by the time the corkscrew overtake happens, lap four, it's also pretty clear where each rider is strong and where they are weak. for all the fighting between the pair of them, casey doesn't actually cross the line of any single lap in first position. that's because valentino knows that casey cannot be allowed to do so - with the ducati horsepower and casey's own skill, casey is inevitably stronger out of the final bend and into the first corner. if casey is allowed to lead there, it's basically game over. all the overtakes in that race between the pair of them happen in the bits of the track that are at or before the corkscrew - and the corkscrew is the last bit of the track where valentino has an actual edge over casey. so, if you've committed yourself to beating casey whatever happens, if you know that you cannot allow him to lead out of the final bend and you're basically on your last chance to prevent it, if you've committed yourself completely to that strategy... well, you're going to stick it on the inside of your opponent, come what may. obviously it still takes a lot of skill and luck for valentino to survive that off-track excursion, but it is essentially a more dramatic repeat of the overtake he executed on lap one. it's a consequence of actual strategy, not just spur of the moment genius

with catalunya, if anything it's even more straightforward than that - valentino tells reporters afterwards that he'd been visualising that final corner overtake in the week leading up to that race. obviously, he would have preferred not to be behind jorge at this point of the race but... well, he knew he had an ace up his sleeve, if he could just pull it off. and he knew he could pull it off, because he'd executed that exact move on casey two years before - as casey jokes about in the presser - just not on the final lap. obviously this is also a case of dramatic irony very much haunting jorge - who, for reasons that remain mysterious to me, went around the week before that race telling reporters that whoever was leading into that part of the track would have the race won. jorge's mental rigidity and his refusal to defend the line properly headed into a corner he assumed valentino would have no hope of overtaking him in is what cost him that race victory. so again, like with laguna, obviously this could very easily have not come off for valentino, obviously it could've gone pretty disastrously wrong. but also... well, valentino had thought about the possibility of needing that move before the race, he was mentally prepared, he'd already tried it out a couple of years earlier - it didn't just come completely out of nowhere

the next step is pretty simple. 'joker' refers to this clip of valentino talking about having bonuses... these moments each season where you can risk a lot and go beyond your limit. don't try your luck too often, but you've got to have a few times where you go that extra step. this obviously doesn't really make sense in terms of like,, tempting fate, that's not how probability work - but it is useful in terms of the underlying psychology. this way of allowing valentino to let go of any inhibitions, to ignore any considerations for his own safety, and instead make a deal with fate... these are the races where he will do whatever it takes to win and he trusts that fate will have his back. and yeah, various races that have been mentioned in this post must surely fall in this category. phillip island 2004, where he makes daring last lap overtakes in the penultimate round of the championship - if he crashes, he's going to have to try and wrap up the title at his bogey track. catalunya 2009 - that last corner overtake could easily, easily, easily have gone wrong, and left valentino in the extremely awkward position of having taking out both himself and his teammate to leave their chief rival with a cushier championship lead. both valentino and especially jorge have alluded to the risk of that move... yes, it's not discussed in quite the same terms as jerez 2005 or laguna 2008 - there was nothing wrong with the move, no contact, it was completely clean. but but that didn't make it any less risky

and the most obvious example is, of course, laguna 2008. valentino has straight-up admitted he was willing to do whatever it takes to stop casey from winning that race, which could easily have involved taking out both of them at a downright terrifying track. it's part of the reason why casey took so poorly to valentino's conduct - less than the actual moves, it is the mindset behind them that was so objectionable to casey. valentino made a bargain with the universe that he would ride without any fear or caution on a track that generally tended to make him quite nervous (didn't even think the corkscrew was suitable to walk down, mind you) - and it's that bargain that allowed him to throw the bike down a terrifying blind corner into the direct path of his title rival. which is all well and good, but. uh. casey didn't get to sign up for this

then you've got milking the moment, which is such a key element of immortalising these races. at sepang 2004, valentino has his nasty pre-planned sweeping celebrations to make fun of sete. at jerez 2005, it's all spontaneous - he's reacting to the animosity of the crowd and hamming it up with absolutely zero restraint. pumping his fist, waving at the crowd, jabbing his finger around... the drama of parc fermé, the fourth wall break to take the piss out of sete's injury en route to the podium, the performative celebrations to really stick it to the spaniards on the podium. the way valentino makes use of his celebrations as another weapon in the psychological warfare arsenal is discussed a bit in this post, including with a pretty lengthy section on the laguna 2008 celebrations. the key bit is that he already knew the lap four corkscrew overtake would be everyone's defining memory of the race - so that was the thing he immediately paid tribute to

the post also discusses how he behaves around casey in the immediate aftermath - how he just will not leave the poor bloke alone... it's something valentino doesn't really do with rivals who have just lost a race, he's not that type of confrontational character. which partly reflects the specific shape of his relationship with casey, but most importantly comes from an awareness that casey is not doing himself any favours with any of his post-race reactions. like, yes, valentino is clearly having fun teasing casey - but he also knows that casey is going to get shit for this behaviour, and the more of that is caught on camera the better. valentino even gets such a lovely rise out of casey when he interrupts casey's tv interview - giving us casey refusing valentino's handshake with cameras and microphones conveniently at hand - that he deploys the exact same tactic with jorge at catalunya 2009. to jorge's credit, for all that he clearly was very pissed off with valentino's celebrations, he manages to play it cool in front of the cameras and puts in one of his better performances as the gracious loser. which (beyond reflecting how valentino feels towards jorge vs casey) probably also helps to explain why valentino wasn't bothering him for the rest of the podium ceremony - it is jorge who pulls valentino off the podium to give him a proper hug, not vice versa

still, catalunya 2009 is in the same camp - because jorge and his team were pretty vocal in the 2010 title-winning documentary how irritating they found the triumphalism of the celebrations valentino and his team put on. again, it's valentino going full ham - yes, valentino likes his celebrations, but he does generally like to play it a bit more cool and jokey and above it all... not shaking his fist about so ferociously you worry he'll throw himself off the bike. there's also of course the lovely little touch of valentino securing his 99th win at catalunya 2009, a sign that the fates may actually for real be on his side -

- which, like with the corkscrew at laguna, is of course something valentino had the presence of mind to pay attention to. more discussion of this too in the 2008-10 jorge/valentino rivalry post

so yeah, milking the moment. making sure everyone remembers the race - and everyone remembers the best bit of that race. making sure it hurts as much as possible for the opponent, whether that takes the form of consistently hounding them or just being incredibly triumphalist in front of their home crowd. if possible, have a stab at letting them stitch themselves up as publicly as possible

might not be a lesson valentino learnt directly from how sete's reaction at jerez 2005 in parc fermé was seen as inadequate - but it's the kind of thing that does make you understand the importance of The Moment. these immediate reactions matter... valentino could play the gracious winner easily enough, but his rivals might well have been doomed whatever they did. sometimes it's about ensuring your opponents only have bad options, right?

and lastly. all of this would have been completely pointless, just an utter waste of time, if valentino had then gone off to crash in the next three races. this feels like one that's flirting with stating the obvious - yeah, no shit, it's better for you to keep up momentum after your big momentum switch race than to lose it again. but it is key! if you're making such a big fuss about your big dramatic win, then you've got to lock in and actually make them suffer... hurt the opponent when they're already bleeding etc etc. again, the 2004 playbook is instructive here - valentino promises sete won't win another race, and then he locks in to win the next three himself. one pretty comfortably after tormenting sete all weekend, one after a dramatic last lap battle, and the last at his bogey track (the final time he won there in his career). in 2009, this isn't all that spectacular - valentino wins the next race reasonably comfortably, but also... y'know, it's assen, he's good at assen, jorge has a more complicated record there. does allow him to secure his 100th win at the first time of asking. the other key moments that season is pulling off the sachsenring win by 0.099s (a margin he didn't commemorate but I'm sure he noticed), the misano win after the indy flopfest where he did the donkey ears celebrations, and doing such a good job phillip island pre-race that he managed to spook jorge into a first lap error. catalunya is the clear turning point that season, but valentino is also helped out by how casey becomes increasingly competitively irrelevant after that point. who knows how that season would have gone if casey, who obviously had not been psychologically affected by catalunya, had still been healthy. 2008 is more clear cut in that regard... I've just put out a post that discusses in plenty of detail how the immediate post-laguna stretch goes horrendously wrong for casey, but of course it is pretty notable that casey has his first ducati race crash at laguna and then immediately follows it up with another two out of the lead at brno and misano. it is also a span of races that is EXTREMELY relevant to the thesis of this post, since the writing around those races repeatedly pays direct tribute to the idea of valentino the storyteller:

or valentino the witch, whichever you'd prefer

as I repeatedly stressed in that post, there are absolutely other reasons why casey just happened to have that particular string of poor results - ones that have nothing to do with valentino's ability to exert pressure or cook up nasty spells. obviously, a big caveat in this entire discussion is that however you slice or dice it, the way all of this unfolded for valentino still involves a heavy helping of good fortune. but, well, you make your own luck!! valentino built a reputation for breaking his opponents off the back of putting a curse on sete - which means that by the time you get to casey, you've got people speculating about whether valentino is using black magic on the guy. it's a reputation valentino built on merit, but it's still one that acquired a kind of mythical status... and valentino was able to use that in its own right. those infamous skills of putting pressure on his opponents - ones that for a while there had extremely noticeably (and worryingly) not been working on casey. pick your fighter, a voice in your ear whispering to you mid-race or an invisible hand prompting you to make errors

and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you write your own sports narratives. make your rivals despair in five quick and easy steps

IN CONCLUSION. obviously there's also other ways in which sete served as the prototype for later valentino rivalries - again, plenty of this blog has been dedicated to detailing the emotional repercussions of that feud and how it may have affected valentino's approach going forwards. but!! I wanted to take a different approach in this post and really just focus in on the actual sporting implications... how interesting and intricate momentum is in terms of its sports psychology, how adept valentino is at deliberately picking and choosing his moments to rewrite the narratives of a given season + rivalry. momentum is one of the most important psychological aspects of competition and obviously valentino is hardly the first athlete to be particularly skilled at twisting it to his advantage, but you have to give him credit for doing so in such a dramatic and also fun manner. not everyone can use curses to ruin their rivals

and yes, of course valentino did get lucky for some of these races to go so perfectly for him - you cannot plan the corkscrew overtake or that final corner catalunya drama, and both of them are so risky he would rather have avoided him. but on the other hand, yes, I still think there's enough evidence here to suggest he also made his own luck. very accomplished in using the psychology of competition to his advantage! and a lot of it did start with sete - the first rival against whom valentino wasn't just reacting. what valentino did to sete was more than that... it was about taking control of the narrative. a lot of what valentino did to his subsequent rivals, especially in the context of winning the 2008 and 2009 title fights, can be traced back to tools and tricks he first started wielding against sete. sete was the emotionally fraught trial run - what valentino did in 2008-09 was the actions of a man who had already mastered his craft

[juliets-roller-derby-awesomeness]

favorite psych fics??? 👀

i honestly haven't read too-too many but here's an incomplete list:

food is life, and life hates juliet. this was the first one i read and i found it through @/thespiritssaidso answering my ask about spoiler free psych fics and it's so cute aksjsjdbs. i wrote a short little continuation here but it's a spoiler free shules sickfic/whump and it's pretty short and i've read it like 3 times bc it makes my feet kick. @/thespiritssaidso (Isolation68 on ao3) writes a bunch of really cute shassie stuff too but i like juliet far too much for this not to be my favorite of their work.

hidden emotions. it's less than 1k but just really good. it's pov second person (following jules) and has spoilers for the season 3 finale, but i love it a lot. i found it from someone answering my spoiler free psych post telling me to sort by date updated on ao3- which like- i wish i could find that notification and give you a hug bc that changed my life lol. i really really loved reading like a detached 2nd person fic, it's so well written because it doesn't make you feel like juliet but it gives so much information on her thoughts and feelings which was just a really cool experience and inspired me to write this (which i swear i will update soon i have like half of the next chapter on my notes app), which slight spoilers for season 4 but it's cannon divergence. anyway i love the concept and i love the execution and i love juliet o'hara

the door before me is open just enough. it's just really cute. another shules one shot i found the same way and it really stands up to re-reading

love game. fluff and smut, shules one shot i found the same way. there are a couple sexy shules fics that i love but for some reason this is the only one i have bookmarked. it's so good and the author does a really good job of keeping the characters believable throughout. theres some shawn and gus friendship stuff and karen vick, i just like it a lot

there are a lot more but these were most if the ones i bookmarked, if you're interested there are like 60 fics when you search psych >> shules >> english >> updated between 2006-2011, they're all pretty short (6k max i think) and probably 50 of them i liked so definitely check that out lol

edit: @/attic-nights was the one who told me to sort by updated on ao3!!! you are my favorite i love you so much go send them hugs lol