#i see this shit all the time and it makes me feel way too old to be here sometimes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
a/n: gojo comfort drabble bc i need it :P
masterlist
gojo satoru has always been privy to your emotions. maybe it’s because you have a terrible poker face and you just can’t seem to lie to him, or maybe he just pays close attention to you.
regardless of the reason, it seems too obvious to satoru when you start to become more distant. he takes it personal at first, a pout on his face when you hit him with single word texts, heartstrings tugged and stepped on when he’s left on read. it seems all too sudden, you were just fine two days ago, what could’ve happened?
satoru thinks back to every word and action between the two of you, finding nothing that could’ve caused your mood to sour so quickly. he’s frowning at his phone, scrolling up and down your conversation to try and find the root of the problem, then it hits him.
I’m starting to get overwhelmed with everything idk T^T
there it is, he thinks, the frown on his face growing as he already knows you’ve slipped into your old ways. distancing yourself, shutting yourself off and more than likely spiraling. he sighs, grabbing an extra crewneck, spraying his cologne on it and grabbing his car keys.
the sharp knocks on your front door has your heart jumping out of your chest, making your quickly wipe the tears from your face and staying absolutely still. maybe if you didn’t move they’d leave, you reason.
“y/n, open up i know you’re in there” satoru sighs, staring straight at your front door through his sunglasses. “please? just wanna make sure you’re okay sweetheart.”
satoru’s voice makes you sit up straighter, panicking to fix your appearance and hiding the mess that’s become of your living room. you’re quick to splash water on your face, hoping your eyes aren’t too red as you put on a fake smile and open the door for your boyfriend.
“toru! didn’t know you were stopping by” you grin, making sure the door stayed as closed as possible to hide the state of your apartment.
“you’d know if you replied to my texts” he snips back, pushing past you with two bags in hand and placing them on your kitchen counter.
“wha- hey!” you protest, rushing after him and trying to stop him from going any further, “sorry i was uh- i was working on some stuff and got caught up” you nod, almost believing your own lie.
“oh? what were you doing?” his tone is innocent, and the way he cocks his head at an angle makes your resolve disappear, you knew you were caught the second he knocked on your door.
satoru sees your shoulders slump and chest deflate, and when he catches your bottom lip quivering he doesn’t waste time pulling you into his chest. it’s heart wrenching as you fall apart in his arms and he struggles to keep you together in his embrace. he’s got one arm squeezing you tight and another softly rubbing your back.
“I’m right here, just let it out” he whispers, his own eyes watering as you clench your fists full of his ridiculously expensive sweater.
“work has been shit and my boss is a dick and then the deadlines and i don’t wanna be a failure and-” you’re cut off by your own sobs, unsure if satoru even understands a word you’re saying. you’re mumbling into the soft fabric, letting everything you’d bottled up out.
you don’t know when satoru had picked you up and taken you to the couch, you just hold onto him tightly as he cradles you and listens to everything you have to say. he’s silent as you calm yourself down, his grip not once loosening as he continues to rub your back.
his grip only loosens when you softly push against him, letting him know to let you go. satoru complies instantly, his firm grip softens to let you choose wether to stay on his lap or move next to him. your linger for a second before settling in the spot next to him on the couch, sniffling and thanking him for the tissue to blow your nose.
“sorry” you whisper, voice shaky as you stare at the ground.
“it’s okay” he replies, “that’s why i came, do you feel better?” you nod, he smiles softly. “do you want me to say anything about it?” his voice is gentle, there’s no judgement, just love.
you think for a second, “not right now” you sigh, biting your bottom lip to stop yourself from crying again. satoru nods, a small ‘okay’ leaving his lips as he gets up and brings you the two bags he’d walked in with.
“eat before it gets any colder” is all he says before silently moving and cleaning the living room.
“you don’t have to i was gonna get to it” you say, puffy eyes staring at him as he shakes his head, leaning down and kissing your forehead.
“let me do this for you” there’s no room for argument, that much you know. instead you nod, heart warming when you see he’d brought your comfort food for you. the action itself is enough for a sniffle to escape you.
by the time you finish your meal satoru had cleaned your entire apartment, vacuum in hand as he hands you his crewneck, shorts and fresh pair of underwear. “i already turned the water on, go shower and then we can watch some tv, yeah?”
it all seems too perfect, what did someone like you do to deserve this? to deserve him? as the hot water hits your skin you sigh, letting it run over every inch of your body and letting your mind be silent for a moment. you can hear the vacuum over the sound of the shower, and your eyes land on the crewneck he’d handed to you.
it’s the same one you always use when you go over to his house, the one you’d been eyeing to steal from him for the past month. it’s his favorite one.
when you exit the restroom, freshly showered and finally feeling a bit better you’re met with a sparkling clean apartment.
“i put the dishes to wash, changed your bedsheets and dusted a bit” satoru says, taking your dirty clothes and throwing them in the washing machine alongside your other clothes.
“you wanna stay here or go to mine?” he figures you’ve had enough of your apartment for a bit, offering the change of scenery, and he could pamper you a bit more at his place.
“can we go to yours?” you sheepishly ask, avoiding eye contact.
“of course we can love bug” he replies, practically whisking you away and into his car.
it’s the first time in two days you’d left your apartment, the fresh air hitting you, almost breathing life back into you. it’s not too long before you’re arriving at satoru’s place, and he almost immediately has you under his covers and handing you the remote.
“put whatever you want, just gonna use the restroom and change first” he smiles, kissing your cheek before heading into the restroom with a change of clothes.
you were cuddled up to satoru’s side before you knew it, creating in his cologne and letting your eyes flutter shut. his body heat bringing you more comfort than a weighted blanket ever could. you scoot closer to him, wanting to be as close to his as humanly possible and never let go.
“want me to kill your boss?” satoru smiles down at you, dimples flashing when you smack him softly.
“as much as i wanna say yes i know you’d take it literally, so no” you giggle, the sound makes satoru’s heart flutter and stomach flip.
it’s a win for satoru, seeing you relaxed and refreshed as you cuddle into his side, slowly drifting off to sleep. your breathing evens out before long, holding him tightly in place. he can’t but press a gentle kiss on your forehead, tracing your features with his eyes and committing them to memory.
satoru lets his eyes flutter closed, your steady heartbeat lulling him to sleep. after all, he has to be up before you to have a word with your boss.
#not proofread oopsies#gojo satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru drabble#gojo satoru x reader fluff#gojo satoru comfort#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo imagine#gojo satoru imagine#jjk gojo#gojo x you#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru one shot#jujutsu kaisen imagine#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk satoru#satoru gojo comfort#satoru gojo x reader fluff#satoru gojo drabble
326 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking about this song a lot again since yesterday, and if you'll indulge me in being overly wordy and a bit sentimental, I kinda wanna share some of my thoughts here:
so I alluded to this a bit while rambling on bluesky earlier, but early in the process of composing this song I REALLY wanted it to have lyrics. I tried writing some, and having looked at them again this morning, frankly they're kinda garbage and I stand by my decision to scrap them and let the music just speak for itself. but I only really wanted to write lyrics in the first place because I got ONE specific line (and subsequently a chorus, or at least one version of it) stuck in my head and wanted the rest of the song to kinda revolve around it.
the scrapped verses were sorta loosely about how, when you're younger, you tend to have a very straightforward and simple sense of optimism and justice - kids generally believe that things WILL just work out somehow, and often have surprisingly obvious and on-point responses when they learn about societal issues, but adults will often talk down to them and tell them they just don't understand how the real world works yet. and as you get older, that optimism gets conflated heavily with childlike naivety and kinda gets metaphorically beaten out of a lot of people over time, until they're just kinda consigned to the status quo and thinking of societal problems being too large/permanent for them to fix or influence.
this song was meant to embody a sense of rebellious optimism - a stubborn belief that we have a say in the kind of world we live in, and furthermore that our inner child would never forgive us for shrugging and giving up now that we're finally Adults and Adults are supposed to be the ones with the power to actually Fix Things. it was meant to evoke some nostalgia too, sure - thus the title "Grass Stains", which came from the scrapped first verse about childhood, and also just the general musical style being reminiscent of pop punk music I really liked as a kid and still tend to associate with summertime and old video games from that era. but more than that, I wanted to convey the idea that, sooner or later, we have to stop waiting for the Adults to decide how to fix things and get a hand on the ball ourselves; the idea that growing up should empower us, not make us cynical and detached and too tired to care anymore.
anyways, I will spare you most of the unfinished lyrics because I really do promise they're not interesting or good at all, but here's the chorus part and the specific last line that I was really fixated on back then and (for reasons that are probably not hard to imagine) thinking a lot about again now:
you keep pacing
so sullenly facing
away from the task left to you
why can't you see it?
if you want hope, then be it
those gears aren't just going to move
you gotta change the world, before it changes you
so yeah. shit's rough out there right now. shit's been rough for a while and it's gonna continue being rough for the foreseeable future. like I mentioned in the original caption, i wrote this song when I was feeling pretty awful (both mentally and physically, actually - I'm pretty sure I had covid for the second time when I made this lol) and needed something to perk up my mood, and it... kinda worked honestly? and now when I listen to it again I still kinda get a boost from it, especially if I let myself think back to the original message I was trying to imbue it with. it's hard for me to feel totally hopeless or unmotivated while I'm listening to it, and I hope that energy sorta comes through for other people too (though I would obviously be just as happy that people like the music I made anyways, without deeper context or ideas attached to it).
I guess i just wanna say this: remember that the world's gonna change one way or another, but your contributions to it are never meaningless, and their absence would be felt. and you also have the power to embolden and support those around you to become a stronger force for good together. the only real way to fail in all of this is to give up and lay down and let whatever happens wash over you, to believe them when they treat you like you're too small to be a threat or a challenge. and even if you don't believe your efforts matter to anyone else, let them matter to you. if you want hope, then be it. strive to be a force for good in spite of all opposition, and that goodness will in turn continue to propel you forwards.
ok I think that's about as sappy I can stand to be, I'm going to bed lol
hey i finished a new song!! check it out!!
my prompt for starting this was essentially "i'm in a bad mood and i want to make music that'll fix that". apparently what that translated to was whatever genre "music that would make 9-year-old me think they could do a backflip off the swings at the park" is, but like... it DID cheer me up? so, mission accomplished? i hope you enjoy it too!
♫ made with OpenMPT! ✎ cover art by me!
#look at it again#buny text#feeling very self conscious about posting this addition honestly but it was literally preventing me from falling asleep til i got it out#it's past my bedtime so i am going to go ahead and use that as my excuse if this turns out to be corny and insufferable
616 notes
·
View notes
Text
soft launching (hard) -d.riccardo
summary: you and daniel decide it's time the world know about you
pairing: daniel riccardo x fem! illman! mechanic! reader
(for context, kym illman is an f1 photographer from australia)
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
You were livid. You wanted to scream, to sob, to shout, everything. It wasn’t fair. You were exhausted, hours and hours of practice, hours and hours of expertise, and yet, Daniel had just crashed the car into the wall. You were usually quite good at turning off the ‘mechanic’ side of you to turn into the ‘girlfriend’ but it was hard today. You’d worked overnight. You’d worked until you were practically falling asleep at the side of the car.
And he crashed it. Again.
You knew it wasn’t his fault.
It wasn’t his fault.
You kept repeating that in your head. The looks on the faces of the other mechanics were… unwelcoming to say the least. You didn’t want Daniel to see them, or you. You walked on, ready to hide in the bathroom until Daniel got into his room.
Then he saw you. Daniel had a certain way he liked to calm down after races. Shower, relax in bed for an hour with you, then back to the hotel for some food.
You couldn’t do it. You knew you’d blow up on him. You knew you’d freak out.
“Baby-” he started, running up to you and wrapping his arms around you. “I’m sorry.”
Your heart stopped. ‘Mechanic’ you, was gone. Replaced whole-heartedly by the need to comfort him and make sure he was alright. Yes, you still felt bad for the other mechanics and yourself, thinking about how you’d have to put it all back together in Milton Keynes. But Daniel needed you.
“It’s alright,” you whispered, holding him close. “You’re alright baby.”
He nodded, his eyes wet with tears. He knew if he’d talk he’d break.
“Does it hurt anywhere?” you asked, pulling him into his driver’s room. He shook his head. “Did you get checked out?”
He nodded. You sat him down on the bed.
“It’s alright darling,” you whispered. “It’s Lance’s fucking fault anyway-”
“I don’t want to lose you if I lose this,” he responded bluntly, his hazel eyes filled with tears. “I know I can be better, I just… it feels like a classic case of old dog, new tricks, and I just can’t get the hang of it. If I could just get one shot at the RedBull seat, I know I could do it. I just… it feels like shit battling it out at the back for one point. I used to stand at the top of podiums, and now I’m… this,” he sighed, discouraged.
“You won’t lose me,” you assured him, running your hands through his hair and he leaned his head against your stomach. He loved sitting like this, his head on your stomach as you stood in front of him. “I’m not going to let you go, don’t ever worry about that.”
“I do,” he admitted.
“Then talk to me about it,” you told him, pulling his chin up so he had to look at you. “I am here for you no matter what. Always and forever, Dan.”
“You swear?” he asked.
"I swear."
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ You were there when he got the call. He sobbed for hours. You were both there, just laying in your bed, holding him as he cried. For the first week, it was rough. He barely got up. You helped him. You made him food, made him get up and walk, made him shower. He was grateful to have you there, because he didn’t know what he would’ve done without you. He probably would’ve sulked for months. But you, you brought him out, brought him home, brought him to see Josh and Hailee. You even bought him a hat (his new favourite) that says ‘retired!’. You made him happy again. Yes, there were still down days, and yes, he still looked at his trophies longingly. But he had other things in mind too. He wondered a lot about how you’d look in a wedding dress, or how you’d both look with a baby in your arms. He was finally thinking about the future for once, and he felt like slowing down, for the first time in his life, was just as exciting as going fast.
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
Being in F1 when Danny wasn't was hard. He was your boyfriend, and it meant you didn't get to see him all the time anymore. You still adored your job, so you weren't going to quit, just... step back a bit. The season came to an end, you were 7th in the constructors, and off you went skiing with half the grid.
The funny thing about the fact that you were a mechanic, was the fact that your father was one of the main photographers in F1. You'd picked up that skill from him, and you usually jsut took photos of your friends, but to cut costs RedBull had asked you to be their on-track photographer as well, and you'd gained quite the reputation.
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
ynillman
liked by pierregasly, jackdoohan, landonorris and 4,987,736 others
ynillman: 2024 is over and done with! I cannot wait to have a regular sleep schedule for three months!
comments
kymillman legendary photos this year! see you at christmas, and enjoy skiing! liked by yourusername
landonorris PLZZ LET US BORROW YOU NEXT YEAR -> ynillman maybe... but even I can't make papaya look good 🤷
lancestroll time to hit the slopes! -> ynillman bro i broke my fucking arm last time wtf -> lancestroll let's hope you break both of them this time! maybe then you won't capture another video of me falling!
oscrapiastri thank u for your service, lily is very happy with our couples photos! -> ynillman anything for lily! so happy for the two of you! -> user89 did we miss something...? ->user829: oscar did say he'd rather get married than get a tattoo...
user88: when's the next yt video queen??? -> ynillman tomorrow!
nicohulkenberg amazing work this year!
olliebearman thanks for the great photos this year!
jackdoohan thank you for making me not chop all my hair off again! (oh, and the photos were cool as well ig) liked by ynillman
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
ynillman
liked by pierregasy, charlesleclerc, danielriccardo, and 8,098,364 others
ynillman didn't break an arm this year, only my ego!
comments
user8 lance serving boyfriend in this so hard
user99 hear me out, lance and y/n... -> user7 yes officer, it's this one -> user882 me when i'm clinically insane -> lancestroll prolly not.... -> ynillman please guys I have some standards
oscarpiastri i swear i was so surprised you didn't kill yourself
landonorris you're genuinely a danger to society on a snowboard -> ynillman because of my skills? -> landonorris because you can't fucking use one. I have the bruises to prove it
user83 lando, lance, oscar, and y/n????? what the fuck is this multiverse of madness
user0 still serving with the photos OMG QUEEN
estebanocon remind me to never go skiing with you again -> user82 estie bestie!!!!!!
mickschumacher who tf let her out of her cage? -> jackdoohan you did. you gave her the vodka.
user9: jack, mick, esteban, lance, lando, oscar, and yn? who else??? -> charlesleclerc i was there too -> alexalbon same -> carlosainz same -> francocolapinto me too! -> danielriccardo same... -> user9: and all of their wags were there too! what a cool friend group!
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
lilymunihe
liked by alexalbon, ynillman, alexandrastmleux and 890,876 others
lilymunihe guess who took these photos? @.ynillman
comments
landonorris that's actually a normal sized bear in Alex's hands -> alexalbon so you're calling me tall? thanks??? -> landonorris fuck no, i meant a regular sized teddy bear
read more...
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
ynillman
liked by robertirwin, pierregasly, francocolapinto and 9,987,625 others
ynillman new video out with robbie! (my sleep schedule is still fucked someone save me) (i love australia(ns))
comments
danielriccardo what a group of legends -> ynillman aka you're jealous i didn't invite you? -> user8239 y/ndaniel CRUMBS !!!!!
read more...
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
danielriccardo
liked by ynillman, francocolapinto, fernandoalonso and 987,253 others
danielriccardo she's looking beautiful these days. missed home :)
comments
user8240 yall know who else is in australia this week... -> user247 i am picking up what you're putting down... delusion!
read more...
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
danielriccardo
caption: you think she likes the bay?
dms
landornorris SOFT LAUNCH?
oscarpiastri taking the soft launch approach?
alexalbon BOO HARD LAUNCH YOU'VE BEEN TOGETHER FOREVER
lewishamilton mate if you don't hard launch her i'll do it wtf is this bullshit
yukistunoda bro... try harder.
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
Daniel had decided something, which was almost always a dangerous idea. It was the off-season, you were in Australia to see the sights, see family, and catch some waves. He'd made his mind up about something days ago, and you'd been trying to figure out what, but he wouldn't budge. He was secretive and giddy, and slightly more childish than usual, so naturally, you started to panic.
That all changed when he brought you down to the beach. There were candles set up everywhere, he was smiling, and you were crying already.
"Y/n, you have made me the happiest man in the past four years," he smiled, despite the way his voice cracked with emotion. "You've been with me through everything. You've held me on the nights I've been my weakest, and championed me on the days I've been my best. I never asked you to love me, but you do it like it's breathing. You make the ups and downs feel like goosebumps on my arm, instead of mountainous waves. You make me smile. You make me laugh. You make me feel so fucking stupid when you start explaining something to do with engineering, and I realise I couldn't do that. The way you dedicate yourself to things is incredible. The way you treat others with kindness and respect even when they don't deserve it, is commendable. I love you with every bone, every nerve, and every cell in my body. I love everything about you, inside and out. I can't wait to get to sit in a front porch someday when we're old and wrinkly, and still get to tell people that you're my wife. So, Y/n, will you marry me?"
You nodded through tears,. pulling him up off one knee and kissing him harshly, only pulling back to look at the ring.
"I love you too," you smiled through tears. "I love you so much."
"I love you so much more," he smiled, elated that you'd said yes. "You saved me."
And that was that. You were were engaged.
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
danielriccardo
liked by landonorris, ynillman, liamlawson, and 893,273 others
danielriccardo she was there for me through thick and thin, and she still likes me years later. you swore you wouldn't get rid of me, so i'm here to stay! love you more than anything, my love, my life, my (future) wife!
comments
landonorris HARD LAUNCH
robertirwin So happy for you guys!
oscarpiastri must come and visit you two oldies
maxverstappen man had been stolen... kidding! (not) Very happy for you two! (not).
read more...
୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ⋅୨ৎ
navigation for my blog :)
redbull and vcarb masterlist
#x reader#imagine#x fem!reader#f1 social media au#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#formula one imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#dr3#daniel ricciardo#formula 1 imagine#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1#f1 x you#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x you#formula 1 x you#formula one#f1 fluff#formula 1#mclaren
317 notes
·
View notes
Text
age gap? w/ 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂!𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓮𝓻
the two of you are sprawled across his couch, the remnants of a lazy afternoon stretching into the quiet of evening. the soft hum of some old record plays in the background, filling the space with a kind of nostalgia that wraps around you both. your legs are tangled with his, your head resting on his chest as his fingers trace absent patterns along your arm.
"you ever think about it?" he asks, his voice low, almost hesitant, like he's testing the waters before diving in.
you tilt your head up, catching the serious set of his jaw, the way his eyes flicker toward the ceiling. "think about what?"
he pauses, the rhythm of his fingers stilling for just a moment. "our age gap," he says finally, his tone careful, like he's trying not to spook the question away.
you blink, considering. it's not something you've dwelled on too much—not with the way he makes you feel, how easy it is to just be with him. "not really," you admit, shifting so you can see him better. "should i?"
his lips curve into a small, rueful smile. "i guess i just wonder if it bothers you. if people say shit or if you ever... i don't know, second guess it."
"do you?" you ask, your hand coming up to trace the line of his jaw, fingers brushing over the scruff that's always just a little uneven.
he catches your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. "not when i'm with you," he says, his eyes darkening as they meet yours. "but when i'm alone, sometimes i think about how much younger you are, and i worry it’s gonna make things harder for you."
you smile softly, leaning in to kiss him, slow and reassuring. "j, you wanna know what i think?" you murmur against his lips, feeling the way his body relaxes under yours.
"always," he whispers, pulling you closer.
"i think you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time," you say, brushing your nose against his. "and i don't give a damn about what anyone else thinks. you make me happy. that's what matters."
he exhales, a long, relieved sound, his arms wrapping tighter around you. "fuck, y/n," he murmurs, voice thick with emotion. "you have no idea how much i needed to hear that."
you kiss him again, letting the moment stretch, letting the warmth of your words sink into the spaces where doubt had started to creep. the age gap? it's just a number. what you have is something bigger, something that makes all the noise from the outside world fade into nothing.
author's note: i lowkey feel like jensen wouldn't care too much about the age gap, but would definitely worry about how baby feels with what the press says.
taglist: @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @legalmente-loca @bluemerakis @gibson-g1rl
#lamy garden#jensen ackles controversially young gf#jensen ackles#jensen ackles x reader#jensen#j.ackles#jensen fucking ackles#jensen x reader#jensen x you#jensen ackles smut#jensen appreciation
189 notes
·
View notes
Note
mmmm no super great ideas for you but im craving for virgin!rindou and single mom reader… aaaaaauhagghg.
collection
慢一點,久一點,真一點。
Rindou initiates the talk first.
It happens on a game of WNRS in your living room, takeout boxes long forgotten on the coffee table. The TV is playing a movie you're sure neither of you are really watching, yet you still want to pretend that you are.
You've been giggling at him for the past hour. He's a pretty funny guy, you think. Doesn't have as big of an ego you thought guys like him would have.
He's a nerd who's always so observant and nice. He's nice to you, your son, the ladies living in your apartment complex who always needs help switching light bulbs because they're too old for that now. One time behind doors Yuzuha's said that she'd smash if he weren't such a loser all the time.
(You think he is, too.
But it's what that makes him so... fuckable.
You think it's bad that you keep having these thoughts, knowing that you're most probably leading him on.
You're not ready yet.
But your heart still thumps weirdly when he comes to visit with warm food and occasionally new toys that you can tell he's had a hard time picking for your boy 一 because he's somehow always one colour off, or one category away.
When he bought Hot Wheels, the kid's already moved on to playing Legos. And when he gifted an expensive Star Wars set that he saved up for, the little shit just has to be in his Mommy phase.)
He gets embarrassed easily and you can just tell he's a virgin with the way he treats porn magazines that Yuzuha has somehow gotten her hands on, stuffed behind cabinets so that Shou doesn't find them. Neither of you let her know that she's been exposed, but it's more fun this way.
He's just a guy. Genuine, very smart despite what he says. Not book smart, but he reads up on things a lot. A bit clumsy at times, but he's still responsive than most men.
He's easy to talk to. Easy to know.
Easy to一
"What's a compliment you wished you received more frequently? Oh, dang. I gotta think about this." He flips the card around, throwing his head back onto the couch.
And yet again一
"Do you wanna go first?"
What are guys like him?
"I wish more people told me I was pretty."
Your response came to you naturally. It poured like waterfall, thorny chain tightening around your heart, squeezing your flesh tight, and you busy yourself with a loose thread on your blanket.
Rindou only stares at you from the other end of the couch. Almost like a deadpan, but not really. His violets pierce through your soul, dissecting you up one by one. You don't make eye contact even when you can hear the silent screams for you to look at him.
"You're kidding."
"What? It's true."
"No. I mean, no one tells you that all the time?"
You crack a smile, glancing up to take just one quick look. He's still as handsome as ever, boyish features much more prominent under the yellow light illuminating the room.
Soft nose, pretty doe eyes. Cracked lips pink from the Malatang you love eating. Veiny hands 一 one thick, desirable finger twirling around the drawstring of his pants 一 that draws you in so close you can't help but go wild at the sight.
"What, you think I'm pretty?"
He doesn't cough like you'd expected him to. Doesn't get embarrassed or act any more like a classic, textbook virgin at your poke.
"Yeah. You're pretty." His voice gets softer with every syllable. Dodgy eyes looking away with each word.
You don't respond at that, but you can't lie that his compliment did make you feel something swirling on the inside. Something blooming in your tummy from the way his eyes look into your own.
It's true 一 you haven't been told for your looks as much as you've always wanted. You're hot, you're sexy, sure 一 but you haven't been pretty to them. You've always hoped that they could see past your body 一 to see you for who you are on the inside.
"You're一" He shifts in his seat, suddenly feeling a little too hot, heart beating a little too fast in his chest. "You're pretty, okay. You always spend too much time in the mirror but I think you're fine just like this."
You purse your lips, listening.
"You're... Shit, I'm一"
You understand him when he throws his pillow to the side to run fingers through his hair. He's not always good with words, hasn't always been. But he still tries, and you like that about him.
He always puts in effort.
"You're pretty, like music. There's no boundaries, no... box. You can be anything. It's cool."
You grin at that. "Really?"
A nod. "I can tell you that everyday from now on."
An awkward silence too heavy for any of you to handle covers the room like blanket too fast. The soft, anticipating smirk on his face drops when you shift in your seat, clicking your tongue. Fingers scratching at your brows, teeth biting into the corners of your lips.
"Rindou, I'm sorry if I have been leading you on, I一" You sigh. "I don't think I'm ready for一."
"No, wait一" He tries inching a hand towards you but you dodge. "I thought we一 Aren't we onto something here?"
Rindou feels pathetic. He feels as if he's reaching for something that seems close but is still so, so far away.
"No, I'm sorry. I'll pay you back for tonight's dinner. And I don't think you should come over so often anymore. I'll talk to Shou-chan, have him understand."
He lets out a breath too short, standing on his feet as if it'll help him figure you out better. "Why? Is it me?"
"I just don't think it's fair to you, okay? We should stop. I'm sorry."
"What isn't fair to me?"
You give him a look so sad that his heart hurts.
"You're gonna be dealing with a kid that's not yours. He's hyperactive and naughty before bed. He's picky with food and doesn't like taking showers. Worst of all you're gonna be dealing with me. I'm not easy. I'm difficult to manage, to handle, to一 You'll not like me anymore when you see it for yourself. Guys like you deserve better things."
Fuck.
Rindou scrunches his brows, face twisting into one of confusion, one that makes you seem crazy for saying what you said.
"Why do you say these things about yourself? Why do you say these things about him? He's just a kid, I'm not good with kids but I'm sure I can handle him out of all." He throws his hands up in the air a little. "And, seriously, guys like me? What am I like? Why do you assume that way about me? I'm not that kind of person. I don't like doing that."
You fight the tears threatening to fall. It hurts, to say the least.
"Like, why do you think I've been around for so long? I would've turned on my back long ago if you and Shou were so hard to love."
requests are open
#r(evol)ution#writing#rindou haitani#haitani rindou#rindou x reader#rindou haitani x reader#haitani rindou x reader#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers x reader#tokrev#tokrev x reader#tr#tr x reader
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
I Do
A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot
Gif by @barissoffee
Hunter x femaleJedi!reader
Summary: Your wedding day finally arrives
Playlist for inspo:
Warnings: Limited (Y/N), swearing, reader nickname of 'Spark' and 'sweetheart' is used, wedding traditions mentioned and applied, my interpretation of the Force, my limited wedding ceremony knowledge, references to past torture and death, vague references to alcohol/hangovers, limited wedding dress description, LOTS of fluff and feelings, I make up a mission plan, kissing, for the sake of the plot they can leave Pabu safely, SMUT (dirty talk and innuendo, marking, reader wears lingerie, light body worship with mentions of scars, use of a toy, teasing, brief edging, light marriage kink if that's a thing?, switch reader and Hunter, unprotected P in V but let's be safe irl please!) mildly bittersweet ending
<Previous Oneshot (not totally necessary to read but helpful for build up)
Masterlist for S1, S2 and S3
Word Count: 13.4K
Rating: 18+
Author's note: Well, the state of the world is concerning and pretty depressing rn but in a bizarre way, it acted as that final motivator to finally finish because I wanted to focus on something that brings me joy. So, with that, I hope everyone is doing okay and that this was worth the wait!
“How did it go?” Hunter asked as he entered your living room just as you finished your call with Jax.
“Aren’t you supposed to be with your brothers right now?” You asked instead.
“I convinced them to come get me later. How did it go?” He asked again, unwilling to let you change the subject so easily.
You heaved a sigh and shrugged as you slouched against the couch and fidgeted with your ring. “Fine? I think? I don’t know, I feel like I’m just making this up as I go. I guided him through the ways meditation can help him if he starts to lose focus, or things feel out of control, but I have no idea if that’ll be helpful.”
“It sounds like good advice.” Hunter replied whilst he put his stuff down.
You grunted, “I don’t know that it’s fair for me to preach the benefits of meditation when all I’ve done with it has come up with a whole lot of nothing.”
“Still nothing from your master since Christophsis?” Hunter asked sympathetically as he sat down beside you.
You nodded dejectedly. “There’s just nothing there. I know that it was a long time ago and we had Tantiss to deal with, so I wasn’t as on top of it as I used to be, but I thought Christophsis opened some sort of door.” You breathed heavily and leaned against his shoulder. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.”
“You’re awfully down for someone getting married in two days.”
You snapped your head up and stared at the ghost ahead of you but also tugged on Hunter’s sleeve. “You’re seeing this too, right?” You double checked as you saw the face of your master staring at you with a smile on his face.
Hunter found himself going back into autopilot and his days as a soldier because he immediately stood to attention as he clocked the pale blue figure.
“At ease, Sergeant. No need for such formalities and with the war being over and me being dead, it’s not like I could write you up.” Your master said to the clone at your side.
“I- um- right.” Hunter stammered because now he had no idea how he was supposed to act or behave when speaking to someone from the dead. Never mind the fact that this was your old Jedi Master. He relaxed his posture, but only slightly because he still had no clue what to make of this entire situation.
“Hello, Spark.”
“That’s all you have to say?” You questioned the ghostly blue figure with a frown.
“I believe that to still be the appropriate greeting.”
“I don’t understand this. You can really show up that easily?”
“When the need arises, yes.”
You let out a laugh that was void of positive emotion.
“I’m sensing some rising anger, Spark.”
“No shit!” You shouted in irritation.
“Spark…” Your master said with a tired sigh.
“I’ve been meditating for months, and you’ve been a no show all this time! I was taken prisoner and tortured and you weren’t any help!”
“An awful feat to endure but you haven’t needed me. You relied on your training and sense of self; you didn’t need me there to bring you back.”
“I almost didn’t! I nearly gave up on Tantiss!”
“Dwelling on the almost helps no one, you did not and that’s the outcome that matters. If you had needed me, I would’ve provided my assistance but there’s never been an opportunity or requirement for that in the recent times.”
He sounded so unapologetically himself and like the master you’d studied under that you couldn’t help but let the initial anger you’d been feeling over this leave your body. “Hey, there was a perfect opportunity for you to show up a month ago! Technically, I died! A few times I might add!” You pointed out.
“You sound a little too delighted by that.” Hunter grumbled.
“You were nowhere to be found!” You continued to be disgruntled.
“Please, I know you’re far too stubborn to die at the hands of a bounty hunter.” Your master said dismissively.
You gave up with a sigh, “So, why are you here now?” You asked instead since you realised you were going to get nowhere disputing the past with him.
Your master nodded to Hunter. “I wanted to formally meet the man who pulled you away from your Jedi teachings.” He said sternly.
Hunter’s eyes widened in distress. “I didn’t- it wasn’t- sir, I didn’t mean to-” He stuttered in a panic.
“Surely you understand how encouraging such serious attachment from someone in her position is dangerous?”
Hunter couldn’t calm his ever-increasing alarm. A Force ghost appearing suddenly felt so small compared to what he was having to argue with said ghost about. “Sir, I’d never risk- I don’t- when we happened I-” He was scrambling to find anything that would reassure the man, but he was failing miserably.
You shook your head in disapproval at your master who now had a rather pleased smile on his face, “Would you stop torturing him? Talking to Force ghosts is already hard enough for someone not used to it.” You gently pulled on Hunter’s hand, “My love, sit down.”
Hunter dazedly sat down beside you.
“And remember to breathe.” You prompted him quietly as you patted his knee before you glared at your master, “Are you done?”
Your master chuckled, “I couldn’t help myself, but yes, I am. Although I did want to meet you, Sergeant. I wanted to know more about you if you’re amenable to that?”
“Y-yes, sir.” Hunter collected himself as he straightened his shoulders and awaited the questions.
“You led a small squad during the war did you not? You and your brothers were made to be different from the other clones and battalions that existed during that time?”
“That’s correct, sir.”
“But you made a habit of deviating from standard protocols and orders? You never considered that to be a reckless course of action to take?”
Hunter sensed you getting ready to defend him, but he placed his hand on yours to signal that he was fine. “Yes, sir, but with respect, that’s why we were as successful as we were. Our unique skill sets made it that going against the usual procedures was better for us and the war effort.”
Your master nodded appreciatively over the honesty in the clone’s voice. “And you understand the added responsibility you’re taking on with having a Jedi in your life and as your partner? You are aware of the risks that will remain in place for you and your squad even with this home you’ve created?”
“I understand it, sir, but it never felt like extra responsibility to me. I look after my people the best I can, I always have, and she was a part of our squad and family long before my feelings developed into what they are now. Making the choice to stand by her despite the dangers it comes with was simple.”
“I see. And what about-”
“Okay, what is this?” You interrupted, “You’re dead, and I stopped being your student years ago. You don’t get to approve or disapprove-”
“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, Spark. The mere fact that you’ve been seeking that connection with the techniques I passed on shows that our relationship has not ended. And yes, I may have become one with the Force but that doesn’t mean I stopped being your teacher- dead or not, there’s always a lesson to be learnt. Something you should keep in mind since you’re on your way to becoming a teacher yourself.”
You suddenly felt rather bashful as you heard the hint of pride in his voice, “I’m not really doing anything.”
“You’re doing far more than you realise and I’m not solely referring to those children you rescued. That young girl you’re raising is going to do great things.” Your master complimented you both.
“We know.” Hunter agreed.
The soft change in Hunter’s voice and the fondness in which he said that and made your heart soar with affection.
Your master smiled warmly as he saw the unfiltered emotion written across your face as you looked at the man by your side and he knew there was nothing dangerous or wrong about the feelings you had for him. He addressed Hunter once more, “I just have one last question…”
Hunter braced himself.
“Do you love her?”
Now that was something he could answer very easily. “Yes, I do.”
“Good.” Your master said with a nod of approval before he turned to face you again. “I wish you both a happy future and Spark, remember, you don’t need to see me to feel me with you.” Your master reminded you before he faded away.
“Spark?” Hunter asked with a curious look in your direction.
“Do you want the embarrassing or the more emotional answer?” You replied lightly.
But before Hunter could reply, Wrecker came barging through the door.
“Time’s up! Get moving!”
You caught the look of dread on Hunter’s face. “You’re going to have fun.” You said through a laugh as you both got to your feet.
“Remind me why I can’t just stay here? Your plans for tonight sound relaxing.” Hunter pleaded jokingly.
“Because we don’t want you here, Bandana.” Phee responded with mock seriousness, “This night is for us girls only. You’ve got your own thing.”
“Right, how could I forget.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. “I’ll be back tomorrow evening.” Hunter promised you, hoping he slipped it subtly enough into the goodbyes that it would go unnoticed.
You’re not that lucky. You said with a grin as you noticed Omega’s look of horror.
“Nu uh! Wedding tradition number three states that it’s bad luck to see the bride the day of the wedding so you can’t stay the night tomorrow!” Omega insisted as she yanked on Hunter’s arm to take her place next to you instead whilst Phee and Lyra pushed past the rest of the men to join you in the living room.
Tech tapped on his datapad. “Yes, the schedule for the next two nights and two days sees to it that proceedings begin with Phee, Omega and Lyra staying here whilst we go to Shep’s to pick him up before leaving on Phee’s ship to-”
“Celebrate tonight! Recover tomorrow! Celebrate again!” Wrecker bellowed merrily. “It’s really not that complicated, Tech.”
“Yet you still got confused the first time we were planning this.” Crosshair pointed out wryly as he chewed on a toothpick.
“Not my fault! Shep brought out a plate of dessert when Tech was figuring out the days, I was distracted!” Wrecker said defensively but with a smile on his face.
“I still don’t understand why you planned it this close to the actual ceremony.” Echo pointed out.
“With those two wanting to hurry things along, our timeline got rather rushed.” Tech replied.
“Sorry for not wanting to give the next bounty hunter another chance to ruin things.” You joked.
“Or an Imperial invasion.” Omega added.
“Or the chance for (Y/N) to get herself killed.” Crosshair piled on but his tone was laced with familial teasing as he looked at you.
“Hey!” You protested indignantly. “The more recent ones have not been my fault.”
“Crosshair…” Hunter scolded as he moved his way around Omega and instinctively wrapped his arm around your waist.
“Thought I was helping.” He said with a nonchalant shrug.
“Your definition of ‘help’ should be re-examined.” Tech interjected as he adjusted his goggles.
“Well, point made anyway.” Echo acknowledged with a slight grimace.
“Great, now that that’s settled, let’s go!” Wrecker demanded again as he reached for Hunter.
Hunter gave you one last desperate look. “You’re really forcing me to do this?” He feigned needing to be rescued as his brother pulled him into the group.
“I’m not doing anything, you’re the one that let Tech give Omega the list of readings about all the different wedding traditions that exist in the galaxy.” You pointed out with a smirk as you warmly rested your hands on the young girl’s shoulders whilst she stood in front of you.
“Yes! This is tradition number seven!” Omega said excitedly as she pulled up the various files that she’d pulled on the subject and recited, “Bachelor parties and bachelorette parties are iconic pre-wedding celebrations that mark the end of singledom for soon-to-be-weds.” She waved the datapad in Hunter’s direction. “You can’t argue with that.”
“No, I suppose I can’t.” Hunter replied through a sigh, but he wasn’t referring to the information as he smiled at the young girl.
“It’s not like spending time apart will kill you.” Lyra added absentmindedly as she got to work on unpacking the supplies for your night here.
The room went silent as you all turned to stare at her.
“Okay, that was a bad choice of words,” Lyra acknowledged sheepishly, “But you know what I mean!”
You chuckled before you noticed the impatient way Wrecker was bouncing on his heels. “Okay, time to go.” You ushered them out but caught Hunter’s wrist just as he was leaving. You went to kiss him but before he could help close the gap, Crosshair pulled on his arm. “If I’m going to throw up tonight, it’s going to be during the party, not before.” He said in faux disgust.
“Alright, alright, I’m coming.” Hunter conceded as he shoved Crosshair away in a brotherly fashion. “See you in two days?” He asked you by way of farewell.
“See you in two days.” You confirmed with a mildly nervous but excited smile. You waved them off before you shut the door and accepted the drink from Lyra as your lovely night of rest and relaxation got underway.
--
The sound of your comm chirping woke you up from your peaceful slumber.
“Morning.”
“Good morning.” You teased as you heard the pained rasp in his voice.
“No, it’s not.” Hunter grumbled.
“You sound like a ball of energy.” You quipped and the only reply you got was a disgruntled huff and it made you smile to yourself. “Sooo, how was your night?”
“I haven’t celebrated like that since our days as a fresh squad during the war. I don’t know how we did it.” Hunter responded with a weary sigh.
“And here I thought you were trying to be sensible.” You taunted.
“Somewhere between Tech insisting that he could make Crosshair a hand and trying to steal Echo’s to prove it whilst Wrecker kept trying to get the bartender to give us free drinks by challenging him to an arm wrestle and Shep lamenting over what’ll happen when Lyana gets married, I gave up.” Hunter through a groan.
You laughed, “Kinda wish I’d been there to see that. But how are your senses holding up? Your headache isn’t too painful, is it?” You asked with more genuine concern.
“I’m fine, this is nothing too overwhelming, I’ll be okay in a few hours.” Hunter reassured you.
“Promise?”
“I promise. I knew what I was doing last night.”
“Okay, good. And you had fun?” You double checked.
“Yes, I did.” Hunter admitted.
“Omega will be delighted by that. I think she enjoyed this part of the wedding planning quite a bit.”
“Your night was good too then?”
“It was a nice time! We just chatted and ate good food- it was all very calm and fun. We all turned in at a reasonable hour. Oh, and Omega finally got permission from Lyra to see my dress, so she was very excited by that.”
“Sure, Omega’s allowed to see it.” Hunter grumbled with light-hearted seriousness. “Remind me why we let this tradition slide through?”
“Because the argument about an ex-Jedi marrying a genetically enhanced clone being about as untraditional as we could get was hard to dispute so we’re making up for it where we can and keeping the reveal until the day of falls into that category according to Omega.”
“Right,” Hunter griped, “I should’ve fought harder.”
“You have one more 24 hour wait.” You reminded him with a loving but exasperated sigh.
“It’s not been as easy as it sounds. You’ve been overly secretive and non-informative about it for weeks now. Having the answer to my curiosity tucked away in our closet and being banned by every single person from seeing it has been a challenge; you do realise that?”
“Yes, because I live to torture you.” You said, playing into his dramatics.
“I can feel your eyes rolling.”
“Look, in all fairness, Lyra only finally decided she was finished with it a week ago. And of all the wedding traditions we’re doing, this is one I kinda like keeping. Besides, you’re getting your first dance tradition which is the one part of this whole thing I’m dreading.” You said lightly.
“Hmm, that’s true. And I hear marriage is all about compromise.” Hunter said playfully.
“Exactly. This is just good practice.” You replied jokingly.
Hunter chuckled softly over the comm, “Well, I can hear the pained groans of the others so they’re waking up now, so I better go. I love you.”
“I love you too. Safe flight back.” You signed off and breathed deeply as you realised that after today, the day you’d been waiting for was almost here.
--
Time passed by in a blur and before you knew it, you were waking up with the nervous butterflies in your stomach that signalled what was happening at sunset today.
You had barely opened your eyes when your door burst open, and a bundle of blonde hair and excitement joined by a ball of fur were jumping on your bed and clambering in next to you.
“It’s wedding day! It’s finally time!”
“Are you sure?” You double checked teasingly as you pretended to pull your covers back and over your head.
“Yes!” Omega tugged on them and insistently shoved your shoulder. “You need to get up!” She whistled to Batcher and pointed to you.
“I’m up, I’m up.” You said through a laugh as you avoided Batcher’s enthusiastic kisses and got vertical. “But you can relax, Omega, we have ages.”
“Not according to my schedule.” Omega propped herself on her knees as she revealed her datapad and showed it to you.
You scanned the list as you absentmindedly stroked Batcher’s side. “Okay that all looks good but what is that?” You indicated to the words with your name and ‘panic’ written side by side.
“My research said it is highly likely that a ‘freak out’ will occur once the time of the ceremony arrives, no matter how sure your feelings are. I’m just leaving it in as an option.” She said casually.
“I’m not going to freak out,” You insisted, “I’m perfectly fine.”
“For now…”
“Omega!” You gasped in faux offence.
“And, now you know there’s time if or when you need to.” She replied with coy indifference.
“Seems like you’ve got this all figured out.” You observed with a smile.
“Tech and I coordinated so he’s keeping Hunter on track,” She told you proudly, “And don’t worry, his panic time is longer than yours.”
“Great.” You replied dryly.
She clapped her hands together, “Now, you can have fifteen minutes to yourself while I go get breakfast started.”
“Alright, you’re in charge, Omega.” You said fondly as she tossed her arms around you and squeezed you tight before hopping off the bed to signal it was time for the preparations to get underway.
--
“You’re getting married today!” Lyra squealed in delight as soon as you opened the door.
“So, everyone keeps telling me.” You kidded as you stepped aside to let her and Phee in.
“Right on time.” Omega stated with a satisfied nod as she came out of her room.
“Between you and brown eyes, it would be impossible not to be.” Phee commented with a smile.
“You all look great!” You said warmly as you took them all in and your heart swelled as you saw Omega in particular. She was growing up every day before your very eyes and it was both terrifying but beautiful.
“Hush, we are not the focus here. Come on, let’s get you ready!” Lyra started shoving you towards your bedroom.
--
“Oh, this turned out better than I imagined!” Lyra said with a misty-eyed smile, “Phee, Omega, get in here!” She called out as she dabbed away the tears and re-opened your bedroom door.
“You look amazing!” Omega cried joyously.
“Okay, so can I look yet?” You asked nervously in response to Omega’s words and elated gasp and Phee’s wide smile.
“Go ahead!” Lyra said excitedly.
You took a deep breath and turned around to face the mirror in your room and you scarcely recognised the person staring back at you. You’d never been allowed to see this dress aside from getting a gauge of how it looked on you and even when it was done, you’d only seen how it had looked hanging up.
This was the first time you’d been able to see it properly and it took your breath away.
The silhouette complimented your body perfectly, the fabric was light enough for the Pabu climate but what really got to you was- as you angled yourself to see all side of it- the way the rays of late afternoon sunlight hit it and the tiny crystals scattered around the bodice and skirt glimmered a subtle red that matched a shade you were all too familiar with. “Lyra… it’s- I can’t believe- I don’t know what to say… it’s beautiful.” You said breathlessly. “Thank you, thank you so much!”
“I know.” She said, equally emotionally over seeing you in this. “Worth every hour of each day, the late nights and prick of a needle.”
You laughed, “I’m glad.”
“Hunter won’t know what hit him when he sees you in this.” Lyra added as she couldn’t help herself and started adjusting bits and pieces of your ensemble.
“Your dress is something new, the necklace from Lyra is your something borrowed. We’re missing your something old and something blue but that’s okay.” Omega said as she checked off the list.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, kid.” Phee said smugly as she went to her stuff and brought out a small, wrapped box and handed it to you.
“What is this?” You said in confusion as you took the package from her but the familiar thrumming in your veins that you sensed as you held it got your heart practically started beating out your chest. With shaky hands, you opened it and inhaled sharply, “Phee… how did you- where did you find this?”
“Liberator of ancient wonders, remember? The people I got it from had already scrapped the hilt so couldn’t get all of it but figured this was the important thing.” Phee said kindly.
“What is it?” Lyra asked curiously as she took it from you and tied it around your wrist.
“Something from my Jedi days.” You breathed as your blue kyber crystal hung delicately from the leather band. The comfort and familiarity it brought calmed your ever-increasing nerves as you realised it was almost time to go. “Thank you, Phee.”
Phee dipped her head in acknowledgment. “Tech helped me track it down.”
You were overwhelmed by the kindness that had been shown to you and the occasion of it all, but for once, it wasn’t a bad feeling. It only cemented how certain your feelings were and how sure you were that you wanted to do this, but you were only human, and the butterflies refused to die down.
“Still fine?” Omega asked quietly.
“Still fine.” You confirmed with a smile as you exhaled deeply to settle your nerves.
“Knew you would be.” Omega said as she wrapped her arms around your waist.
“Okay, come on. I have to do a few touch ups.” Lyra said.
“Lyra…” You groaned in an exaggerated fashion.
“Don’t question me.” She said firmly as she guided you back to your room.
--
“It’s time to go.” Omega announced.
“Okay, okay I’m done!” Lyra said with a satisfied nod as she finished off.
You took a deep breath as you got to your feet, but you smiled when you saw a familiar person standing ahead of you.
You playfully wolf whistled as you saw the lean figure standing in your living room donned in an all-black suit and tie. As always, Lyra knew what she was doing. “Looking sharp, Crosshair.”
Crosshair’s eyes widened slightly as he saw you step out before he gathered himself and hummed, “Not bad.”
“Not bad?” Lyra repeated with exasperated disdain. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I’m not the one marrying her.” Crosshair said with a shrug.
“I’ll take it.” You said with a fond shake of your head.
“Where are my credits?” Omega enquired gleefully as she bounded over to the clone.
“Credits?” You repeated.
“There may have been a wager on whether or not you would need the time to panic about today.” Omega revealed awkwardly.
“You bet on us?” You said through a huff of laughter.
“Omega was the only one that thought neither of you would if that helps.” Crosshair grumbled as he handed her the amount that she was due.
The fact Hunter hadn’t panicked either went a long way to steadying your nerves. “I guess?” You rolled your eyes and let it go because you honestly should’ve expected something like that from them before you realised you didn’t actually know why Crosshair had shown up, “Why are you here, though? Shouldn’t you be with Hunter right now?”
“The kid said you needed someone to walk you down.” Crosshair said airily.
You narrowed your eyes at him before you asked Omega in confusion, “Thought Hunter was going to have all his brothers with him so we decided that I could walk myself?”
“You did, I didn’t. With Wrecker as best man, Echo as the officiant and Tech as the ring holder and creator, we had a role for Crosshair that wasn’t just groomsman.”
“So, I’ve been forced into this.” Crosshair pretended to be put out.
But Omega wasn’t going to let him off that easily. “You volunteered!” She reminded him. “And you offered long before Hunter had even decided who was doing what.”
Crosshair sighed and glared at the young girl, “Thought we agreed to keep that between us.”
“Whoops.” Omega replied with a mischievous grin.
“Aww Crosshair…” You teased lovingly as you made your way over to him.
“I’ll take it back. I swear, I’ll walk out of here and you can forget about it.” Crosshair warned but he met your embrace.
Thank you. You said as you hugged him.
“Well, you’re family, it’s just how it goes.” Crosshair replied quietly before he released you. “Now, let’s get out of here so you can put my brother’s and I out of our misery.”
“Thought you said he hadn’t freaked out today?” You asked distractedly, missing the pluralisation as you fiddled with your skirt.
“He hasn’t. We just had to watch him pine over you for months on end. Today will finally bring an end to it.” Crosshair stated as he offered you his arm.
You clued in then, “Oh, so this is as much for you as it is for us?” You kidded as you looped your arm through his.
“Definitely.” Crosshair answered with a smirk before the group of you left to finally get things underway.
With your entourage and family by your side as you made your way down to the beach, you finally started to feel calm and ready for this next stage in your life.
--
Hunter, on the other hand, couldn't have calmed down if he tried. Sure, he’d disappointed his brothers in that he’d kept it together the entire day but that didn’t mean the nerves weren’t there.
He stood restlessly at the end of the aisle, the emotions of the occasion combining into a perfect storm of nerves and excitement as he waited for you.
Finally, the crowds had quieted down, and the overall feeling of bated breath from everyone around him told him that he wouldn't have to wait for much longer.
--
“Just don’t let me trip, Crosshair.” You requested through an unsteady exhale as the time arrived for you to make your way down the wooden platform that had been made to keep you from stepping on the uneven sand.
“Wouldn’t that be funny though?”
You shot him a look.
“Not a chance.” Crosshair reassured you sincerely.
With his nod of encouragement, you started to walk.
--
As he caught the change in expression on his brothers’ faces, Hunter finally turned around to see you and his breath caught in his throat. Every anticipatory worry and nerve swiftly disappeared, and it made him feel rather light-headed which, mixed with how enthralled by the sight of you he was, made for an inconvenient combination. If it weren’t for Wrecker’s subtle act of support to prop him back up, he was certain that he would’ve staggered backwards.
And as he realised what you making your way to him finally meant, he felt tears threaten to blur his vision and while he didn’t mind the display of emotion, he’d be damned if they were going to take away a single second of the breathtaking image of you walking towards him. He hastily wiped his eyes and collected himself.
It was then he caught the way the sun hit the scattered jewels on your dress, and he saw the colour that reflected off of them. He darted his gaze over to Lyra who only offered him a smug smile and friendly wink before looking back at you.
--
Sure, the sunset was gorgeous and added a stunning golden backdrop as the beams of light reflected off the turquoise ocean water but as far as you were concerned, the background view was secondary to the one you cared about and that was the man standing ahead of you who was wearing the same black suit as the rest of his brothers but wearing it in a way that made your skin warm and your heart skip a beat.
Everyone else faded away, your only focus was on the man in front of you and you’d never felt more ready for this next stage.
--
It felt like forever before you finally reached the end of the platform and into the waiting arms of the man you’d been waiting for your whole life.
Crosshair smiled at the two of you before he handed you off and took his place next to his brothers.
You passed your bouquet to Omega who hadn’t stopped smiling since she’d seen you this morning.
Hi. You said with a loving grin. Was it worth the secrecy?
Hunter could only nod dumbly before he searched for words to actually articulate himself. “You- you- look-” Hunter swallowed down the lump in his throat and tried again, “You look beautiful.” He murmured quietly as he stroked his thumb across the backs of your hands.
So do you. You comfortingly squeezed his in return as you felt the slight tremble in his grip.
Hunter released a steadying breath as he let your touch ground him.
“You two ready?” Echo asked quietly.
You both nodded and waited as Echo got the ceremony underway.
--
“And now it’s time for the vows. Hunter, are you okay to start?” Echo double checked.
Hunter nodded and, despite the butterflies in his stomach, this was the one part of today that he’d always been ready for. He exhaled steadily and started, “I was made for war. That’s all I knew, and I thought that was going to be my purpose for the rest of my life. I didn’t know any better and I didn’t think there was anything more I should look for. Then you came along, and everything changed. I suddenly realised that life didn’t have to be about living from one battle to the next, there was room for much more than that and you were the one I’d been waiting to have that with. And as much as I tried to deny myself those feelings in the beginning, I quickly realised that there’d never been a more pointless exercise than that. I’ve been yours for a long time, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. You can ask any one of our brothers and they’ll tell you the same thing. The fact that I argued against them for so long was probably far more stressful or frustrating than any battle.”
You glanced at Echo who dipped his head affirmatively before you looked past Hunter’s shoulder to see the grinning and nodding faces from the rest of his brothers. You brought your sights back to Hunter with a bright smile.
Hunter returned your grin before he carried on, “We’ve been through and survived a lot, perhaps too much, but we always found a way through it. And, although I wished they never had to happen in the first place, they reminded me of how much time we lost refusing to allow ourselves the reality of what this was, and I never want to do that again. We can’t get back the wasted months, but from this point on, I promise not to waste another moment with you. No matter what, you will have me by your side, whatever you need, whatever forever means for us, you’ll have it. I love you. I always have and I always will.”
You’d kept it together up until now but after that, after seeing the emotions behind his eyes and hearing the love and sincerity in his voice, your own body started to shake with emotion. You didn’t know how you were going to find the composure to speak.
Hunter picked up on that and he took a closer step towards you. He cupped your cheek and nodded reassuringly as he waited patiently for you to go. “It’s just us here,” He whispered, “Take your time.”
You breathed deeply as you settled yourself. And with Hunter’s encouraging gaze and touch as your anchor, you were ready. “Before I left the Jedi Order, I thought I knew what family was but even when I was there, surrounded by people like me, I always knew there was something missing, but I was always taught to not seek something more out, to not pursue or let those feelings take a hold of me. And even though I argued against it, I still lived my life that way. So, when I decided to leave, I thought being on my own was the answer, that if I would be saving myself a lot of hurt and I wouldn’t have the disappointment of failing to find what I was searching for. Then I met you-” You paused for a second, “And Hunter, you shifted my world. Gravity was no longer my centre; it was all you. There was a time where feeling that way terrified me. I thought it was wrong, that it was a way to a darker path, so I kept trying to distance myself from it, but it was impossible because, no matter how hard I searched for it, there was never any darkness when it came to how I felt about you. You’ve always been my light, even when I didn’t realise it, you brought me back to life and showed me a different way to exist. I knew you were the person I’d been waiting for. You talk about how obvious your feelings were to the people around you, trust me when I say that you weren’t alone. Your brothers didn’t let me off the hook when it came to you either and I don’t even mind admitting now that they were so obviously right.” You added light-heartedly which got a hum of laughter from both Hunter and everyone else. You carried on more seriously into your last part, “I love you, Hunter, I love your kindness, your compassion, your strength. With every fibre of my being, I love you. I can’t wait for the future we’re going to have together. I’m yours too, I always have been. Whatever this next part in our life sees, I promise that I won’t ever stop loving you. You have my heart, my support, and that won’t ever change.” You promised through a choked breath as your feelings threatened to overwhelm you.
Hunter felt his heart tighten in his chest as your words hit him and now, he was finding himself looking forward to the next part getting wrapped up because every irritating second, he spent not married or closer to you was getting harder to patiently ignore.
Echo found himself getting affected by the occasion and emotions of the two of you so he quickly cleared his throat and got onto the next part, “Hunter, do you take (Y/N) to be your wife for as long as you both shall live?”
“I do.” Hunter said and he’d never felt more certain in his words as he accepted one of the rings from Tech tenderly placed it on your finger.
Wrecker and Lyra both wiped tears away from their eyes.
“And (Y/N), do you take Hunter to be your husband for as long as you both shall live?” Echo asked.
“I do.” You said as well, and you’d never felt more at peace than you did after saying that phrase. You took the gold ring from Tech to place on Hunter’s finger and it was then you noticed a small 99 and your lightsaber hilt had been engraved on the band. You looked to Tech who simply offered a nod and a warm smile.
Hunter impatiently looked at Echo as you let his hand go.
“Go ahead.” Echo said with an affectionate eye roll.
The two of you didn’t hesitate. Hunter cradled your jaw and kissed you within an instant and you needed no prompting to press yourself against him. You flung your arms around his neck as the two of you shared in a short but passionate embrace while the whoops and cheers of the crowd sounded around you and somewhere in between Echo officially announced the two of you.
When you pulled apart, you were instantly embraced by your family and the seven of you shared in the moment before you and Hunter led the way back down the aisle and to Upper Pabu.
--
The walk up to the colonnade was one that felt remarkably serene and calming since the citizens of Pabu had laid petals from the Maya tree on the ground in preparation for your ascent.
“Any regrets?” Hunter whispered into your hair as he kept you tight to his side as the two of you walked.
Not a single one. You said emphatically as the two of you reached the top and shared in one more kiss before the band started playing and the celebrations could officially begin.
--
The after party was well under way and you and Hunter were doing your part to speak to and thank as many people as you could.
“Congratulations you two!”
“Thank you, Shep.” You replied warmly as you hugged him tightly, “For everything you’ve done for us, it means a lot!” You pulled back so he could move on to Hunter.
“Couldn’t have had this without you.” Hunter agreed as he went to shake the jolly man’s hand but was instead pulled into a bone crushing embrace.
“Just wait, soon it’ll be Lyana’s turn.” You teased as he released Hunter, “I heard that future thought came up quite a bit a couple days ago.”
“Maybe but don’t forget your situation too… what about when it’s Omega’s?” Shep retorted fondly.
Oh. Right. You and Hunter shared a terrified look. That was a quick way to turn the tables on your playful banter and it left you both scrambling for anything to say in response.
“Uh huh. Think about that one.” Shep kidded smugly as he rested a strong, supportive hand on both your shoulders before he walked away.
You and Hunter both searched the dancing crowds and found Omega dancing happily with Wrecker, Lyana, Mox, Deke and Stak, and you knew Shep’s words were going to stick with you for some time. “
“We still have years and years, right?” You asked Hunter fretfully.
“Yeah… and longer if I have anything to do with it.”
He said the words seriously, but you knew him well enough to understand that neither of you would get in the way of her future happiness, however you could still view that time with a certain degree of apprehension. You glanced at him with a warm smile. I love you for that.
Hunter returned your smile before thankfully; a new voice broke you both out of your thoughts.
“I’m sorry but we gotta head out. Congratulations to you both.” Rex said sincerely as he and Gregor approached you.
You let Hunter bid Rex farewell first and you said goodbye to Gregor.
“Well, beautiful, you’re leaving me broken-hearted.” Gregor said unhappily but there was a kind smile on his face.
“I’m sure you’ll recover just fine, Gregor.” You said with a fond smile as you hugged him before you hugged Rex, “Thank you both so much for making it out here!”
“I only wish we could stay longer.” Rex said apologetically.
“We understand.” Hunter reassured him with you nodding in agreement.
“And you’re definitely okay with Echo joining you two later?” You double checked.
It was Rex’s turn to nod. “He’ll meet us at the rendezvous tomorrow. We’ll be fine.”
Gregor tossed Hunter a mischievous grin before he said conspiratorially to you, “Sure I can’t convince you to come along, beautiful? We can get this thing annulled in-”
“Would you stop that?” Hunter griped as he tucked you into his side even though he knew the likelihood of you actually leaving in any way was non-existent but even the thought illogically grated on his nerves. “I have never once found this in any way amusing.”
“Yeah, but you react every time. Can’t help myself.” Gregor said with a laugh.
You leaned your head on Hunter’s shoulder and placed your left hand on his chest, your rings proudly on display. “Sorry Gregor, I’m very happy with my decision.”
Gregor shrugged. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
“Pretty sure what you’re doing actually qualifies as harassment.” Hunter grumbled under his breath, but he was smiling at his brother.
You chuckled softly as you shook your head affectionately at your husband. You’re always my choice.
“We’ll get out of your hair.” Rex said as he saw the way Hunter’s face softened as he glanced down at you. He tugged on Gregor’s arm, “Good luck you two.”
“Same to you, Rex.” You said genuinely.
“Stay safe out there.” Hunter added before they walked away.
--
So far, everything about this celebration had been easy and fun and you’d been enjoying sitting at your table and talking to your family but that was all ruined as the time you dreaded finally arrived.
“What did we decide about Plan 42?” You muttered hastily to Omega who only shook her head at you and left it to Tech to answer.
“Since this is not in fact a hostage situation, the parameters of the plan do not apply here.” Tech stated matter-of-factly.
“Go on, I’m sure you won’t be that bad!” Wrecker encouraged enthusiastically.
“You’ve survived much worse.” Echo pointed out.
“And I need the entertainment of watching this anyway.” Crosshair added.
“I hate all of you right now.” You groaned.
“You’ve managed before.” Hunter said with an affectionate roll of his eyes as he took a hold of your hand.
“We barely moved, and something tells me that’s less of an option here.” You countered as you reluctantly let him tug you to your feet.
“You, my gorgeous and amazing wife, are incredibly capable and have lived through several attempts on your life. You will get through this.” Hunter said with great seriousness in his voice though his eyes twinkled with humour.
The use of that particular word sent a pleasurable shiver down your spine. “See, I can’t argue when you say things like that.” You mumbled as you walked beside him.
“Why do you think I say them?” He quipped lightly in return as he squeezed your hand.
Ah so there was always an ulterior motive. Here I was thinking it was just cause you love me. You replied with a playful frown but with every step towards the centre of the colonnade, your heartbeat grew more and more frantic.
“Well, there’s that too.” Hunter responded good-naturedly but when you reached the centre, he noticed you already staring at the ground and twisting the rings on your finger in an anxious panic. He delicately placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up “Hey, remember what I said earlier today. It’s just you and I here, no one else. I’ve got you, okay?”
The sweet melody of the music started to play, and you saw the trust and love in his warm, brown eyes and they grounded you. You took a deep breath and nodded as you grabbed a hold on his hand and rested the other hand on his shoulder and started to move.
--
The fact that Hunter knew what he was doing, and you knew you could count on him to not make you look like a fool made it much easier for you to relax into this and you were doing much better than the last time you were in this position, and you could feel yourself enjoying it now.
Hunter spun you around, much to the delight of the crowd, and as he brought you back in, dipped you backwards. “Told you, you’re doing just fine.” He uttered tenderly as he pulled you upright and placed a quick kiss to your lips.
“Well, I have a pretty good partner.” You said softly as you let yourself follow his lead and dance smoothly around the space.
Hunter grinned at you before he twirled you away from him but instead of pulling you back against him, this time he let your hand go and backed away.
“What-” But before you could finish your sentence, a pair of hands caught you. You glanced up to see the beaming face of Wrecker looking down at you. Wrecker, what are you-
“You didn’t think Hunter was the only one that wanted this tradition to stay in, did you?”
“I don’t understand?” You queried as the two of you took a turn about the floor.
But Wrecker ignored your question and enacted phase two of what this part of the tradition was really for. He kept you slowly spinning around the floor before he started his piece, “I’ve been there for both the good and the bad of what the two of you had to experience. And, especially after Ord Mantell, it was hard, it was really hard to watch him go through that. But you need to know that it wasn’t just him… I missed you too. I’m really glad you decided to take Hunter up on his offer on Devaron. No matter what this marriage with Hunter has in store for you, you ain’t getting rid of us any time soon.” Wrecker finished off; his voice gruff with emotion before he whirled you around and released his grip.
Wrecker, I- But you barely had any time to process what was going on before you Echo was the one now holding you.
“Instead of a speech, we all decided to do this instead.” Echo explained as he had his turn with you.
Oh. Was all you could manage to say. You didn’t trust yourself to speak out loud for the moment.
“I hadn’t been around this squad for a long time before we met you, but I like to think I knew them all pretty well and seeing how Hunter was around you and vice versa, I just knew you two had something. It was tough to watch you both refuse it for so long and when you finally acknowledged it, I truly didn’t think it would get much better for you two, but it did and I’m so happy for you. But you need to also know that it wasn’t just him, you got something out of all of us. You filled a gap I don’t think he or any of us really realised we needed filled until you stepped aboard that ship.” Echo removed himself and jutted his chin in the direction behind you.
You turned into the waiting arms of the next one who turned out to be Tech. All of you are really doing this?
“It was unanimously agreed.” Tech responded with a small grin before he said his piece, “Your feelings for Hunter and his for you were obvious from the start, that’s not what I’m here to convey tonight but I do have something to say that I feel is crucial for you to understand. Now, unfortunately I don’t have the exact data to hand, but I have observed this for quite some time,” Tech raised his arm, so you had to duck and spin under it before he brought his hand back to your waist, “You have a pattern of using the word ‘your’ when referring to us as Hunter’s brothers. I don’t think we have said it enough but, despite the official nature of today that cements this fact, you were a part of our family long before this day. We’re your brothers too.” Tech said with affectionate sincerity before he let you go into the waiting hand of the next one in line.
You kept one hand intertwined with his whilst the other rested on his forearm. “So, even you agreed to this huh?” You asked Crosshair with an amused smile but much to your surprise, this time he didn’t play into the joke, he just regarded you with genuine- almost tender- seriousness.
Crosshair exhaled a short breath before he started, “We weren’t really accepted by the regs and although we owned that, it wasn’t always easy, especially in the beginning. But then you came along, and you took us for what we were. I kept expecting you to realise the extent of the craziness that you’d signed up for and leave but you never did. You just fit. Hunter’s idea to ask you to join us was probably one of his best ones. And it wasn’t only that, you and Hunter worked on a level I’d never seen before. But you’re not just his perfect match you know, you were meant to be a Bad Batcher.” Crosshair said quietly with a smile before he let you go and walked away.
The final person was considerably shorter than the rest of them so instead of dancing, you crouched down to be eye-level with the young girl.
“When I was on Kamino, I didn’t hear much of anything about the war or the rest of the galaxy, but I always knew about this squad. And when I heard about you, I knew I had to finally find a way to meet you all again. I may have been new to the group, but I watched you. I watched you with Hunter and it was clear how much you loved each other. But it was also clear how much love you and the rest of the squad have for one another. I wasn’t just joining a squad; I was joining a family filled with people I admire. You have a bit of all of them in you and if I grow up to be anything like the person you are, I know I’ll be living my life right.” Omega said meaningfully, her voice choking up slightly as she finished.
You hugged her tightly. “Thank you, Omega.” You whispered, your voice clogged with emotion.
Omega let you go and smiled at you before she retreated backwards into the group of them, and she felt Tech’s hands on her shoulders.
You straightened up and stared at the group of six people that formed your beautiful, wonderful family and you didn’t know what you’d done to deserve them or this happy ending. “Okay, this isn’t fair,” You said through a weepy-eyed smile, “I was doing a really good job of keeping it together until now.” You dabbed away the happy tears that had fallen down your cheeks.
Hunter stepped towards you and kissed your brow before he pressed his forehead against yours. “Marrying you has been the best decision I’ve ever made and it’s an adventure I have been ready to take with you for a while, no matter how bumpy it could get, and I never want you to think otherwise. But I know you, and I know the doubt and anxiety can creep in regardless. If through the years, you ever need reassurance on how much I love you or how important you are to this family, there are plenty of people who would be willing to remind you.”
A sob mixed with a noise of elation sounded from your lips and you tugged on his tie to bring him closer as you kissed him deeply, tangling your fingers in his hair.
Hunter reacted instantly. He placed his hands on your hips and pressed you tight against him but even as the party raged on around you, at this moment, it was just the two of you now and everything had never felt so right.
--
The celebrations had finally drawn to a close and you were making your way home, happy laughs and chatter filling the silent night of Pabu as you walked back with your family.
You and Hunter reached your home first and paused outside your door to say your goodbyes to everyone first.
As the group of you split off, you remembered the final thing you had to say today.
“Lyra?” You called after her.
Lyra turned around expectantly.
“Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me. I never thought meeting you on Ord Mantell would lead to having a friend like you but I’m very grateful it did. Thank you for being a part of my life.”
Lyra smiled and hugged you tightly. “I’m very glad to be in it. Oh, and don’t forget, I know that you’re finally using the gifts I got you, so I want the details when you're back.” She whispered to you, a mischievous tone in her voice.
You’d forgotten you’d told her about that idea, and you had to be sure to conceal your reaction and merely nodded and returned her necklace before she winked and walked away from you.
--
“Hey, can you do something for me?” You asked as the group faded into the distance.
Hunter glanced at you with a questioning look on his face.
The future isn’t always certain, I know that, but please don’t fall out of love with me.
Hunter huffed out an affectionate laugh and tugged you to his chest as he uttered into your hair, “There’s no chance of that. I will fall in love with you over and over again.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. I don’t care how, where or when.”
“No matter how long it’s been?” You questioned teasingly as you slowly kissed up the column of his throat.
“Mmhmm.” He murmured as he got lost in the sensation of your lips on his skin before he took a small step back and cupped your cheek as he looked into your eyes.
The slight coolness and weight of the gold band against the skin of your cheek made your breath hitch and the small act was enough to ignite the simmering tension that had been building between you since the ceremony.
“You’re mine.” You both said in unison before you met each other in a passionate embrace and Hunter all but kicked the door to your home down before backing you inside.
--
Muscle memory guided the way to your bedroom and despite the eager and frantic noises that sounded from you both as you kissed each other, when it came to turning you around and undoing the buttons on the back of your dress, Hunter was careful- almost delicate- in his touch. As your skin was revealed to him, he managed to plant a few adoring kisses to the fading scars on your back before you turned around and placed a hand on his chest to halt him from going any further.
“Wait a moment.” You requested breathlessly but you saw the flash of confusion in his eyes. “I won’t be long. There’s just something I need to do first.” You assured him.
Shoulders heaving, Hunter dipped his head in acknowledgement of your wish and dazedly retreated out of the room.
--
You shut the door and took a breath for courage as you took your dress off and hung it up in your closet before you studied your reflection as you were left standing in the final white lingerie set that Lyra had gifted you. If Hunter’s reactions to the red and black ones were any indication, you knew this would go down just as well- it was the second part of your plan that had you wondering about how long his patience would last and you couldn’t wait to put it to the test.
Feeling good, you donned your robe and, leaving it untied, you reached into your nightstand and removed the small black velvet bag that, along with other items that could be used at a different time, had the particular one you were searching for.
Feeling ready, you reopened the door.
--
Hunter only got as far as taking off his shoes and undoing his tie before the door reopened and he stopped everything he was doing and just stared at you.
It wasn’t just the striking image of you in the white lingerie that had him rooted to the spot, he’d also clocked the object you were holding in your hand. His breath hitched. “Sweetheart…” His tone was cautionary because already his self-control was evaporating and his own plan was forming in his head but he had a feeling he wasn’t going to be involved as much as he wanted to be.
You gestured to the small bag you now left open on top of your bedside table. “I’ll admit, I was a bit unsure when I first saw this as one of the things in there but after finding what worked for me, I understand why Lyra included it.” You responded, your voice low and enticing as you kept his attention entirely fixed on you.
“When- when have you used this?” Hunter said, his voice hoarse as the images were enough to make his head spin. He couldn’t help himself either and he closed the gap between you before he immediately removed the robe and traced his mouth along your neck and across your collarbone. His hands caressed the fabric that graced your body.
Your eyes flickered shut and a content sigh emitted from your lips. “Some nights you were home late and I just couldn’t wait.”
In response to your words, Hunter ground out a groan against your throat and his hands tightened their grip on your hips but from the way you took a hold of his wrists, he was beginning to understand that was as far as he was going to get with you for the moment.
“Remember what I said about not falling out of love with me?” You asked as you found your composure once more.
Hunter nodded slowly as he waited for you to elaborate and then you said the words that made him feel immediately faint and all he could register was the primal desire that was coursing through his veins as he got clarity on your intentions.
“I want you to wait. And I want you to watch. Can you be good and do that for me?” You crooned against his lips before you kissed him seductively and you watched the change in his eyes as your words registered with him.
A noise that was mixed with agreement and anguish left his lips as he could do nothing to prevent you from removing yourself and taking your place on the bed.
Feeling emboldened by his reaction, you offered him a coy smirk and laid down. You turned it on and a sharp gasp that swiftly morphed into a groan left your mouth as you ran the toy down your clothed chest, and further still, teasing yourself in the areas that heightened the arousal coursing through your veins.
“Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” Hunter begged. He needed to know what you were thinking about if he had any hope of standing by and waiting for your permission to touch you.
Now that was something you had no trouble divulging. “I always imagine you. I imagine your touch, your lips on my skin.”
In a bizarre way, that was the last thing he wanted to hear. He’d hoped for some generic fantasy, something different that could aid him in distancing himself from the moment so he could just enjoy the view but he was now unable to do that. Those words were not helpful in quelling his ever rising need for you. “Sweetheart, please…” Hunter croaked as he could barely find the strength within him to stay standing. Hearing and seeing you like this was sending every part of him into overdrive.
But you just about managed to shake your head as you kept going, “I imagine your fingers, your tongue, how right it feels when you’re inside of me.” Your words left you through breathless, pleasure induced whispers and your hips bucked as you finally pulled your underwear to the side and applied pressure with the toy where you were also craving his touch. Hunter’s quiet but eager words of encouragement only spurned you on. You kept changing the pace and vibrations so you could prolong the experience. You didn’t mind toying with him or teasing yourself, you knew it would only lead to the reaction from him that you were hoping for.
Hunter’s mouth felt like it was filled with cotton but he just about managed to gain control of his faculties to reply, “What was that you said about living to torture me?” He rasped, the raw, unfiltered desperation in his voice seeping through as he watched you in utter awe. He sank to his knees at the end of the bed, fingers clawing at the sheets as he forced himself to follow your instructions. His gaze alternated between what was happening between your legs and the expression on your face as you took control over your own pleasure. It was a sight that set his blood on fire but what he was watching was like no test he’d ever faced before, and he would give anything to do this with you, no matter how small a contribution it would be.
You couldn't find the words to reply for the moment. You were careening towards that cliff-edge that would bring your unbridled relief and you couldn’t bring yourself to delay it any further.
Hunter immediately recognised the change in your breath and the crinkle in your brow and he couldn’t wait any longer. His patience snapped and he grabbed a hold of your wrist to stop you from going any further. He crawled up your body and kissed you fiercely, muffling your sounds of protest. He pinned your arms above your head, all the while never breaking away from your lips and the slow grind of his hips served as a temporary relief for him as well as an easy and pleasurable distraction for you as he worked the toy out of your grasp.
Hey- You started to argue as you realised what he’d done.
“My turn.” Hunter growled against your throat as he sucked a mark on your pulse point, relishing in your quiet moan and the way your body arched under his in response to the action. He found the strength to remove himself from you and alter your places, so he was against the headboard of the bed and your back was against his chest. He angled your head to face straight ahead. “I’m not the only one who should be watching,” He murmured into your ear, “I want you to see how stunning you are and why I can’t control myself around you. You, my perfect wife, are a sight to behold.” With that, he raked his teeth across the skin of your neck and reapplied the toy to where he was longing to be but for now, he would resist. He wanted to have his way with you like this first.
You watched yourself in the bureau mirror and your breath quivered at the sight. Not only was there something particularly and devastatingly arousing about the fact that Hunter was still fully dressed in his immaculate suit while you were wearing next to nothing. But what also added to the excitement was that you had never seen yourself like this and you finally grasped what he was talking about. You couldn’t take your eyes away from your reflection. Your pupils were blown wide, your lips were parted in a perfect ‘o’ shape and your body slotted against his like you were made to be with him.
Hunter rested his chin on the crook of your neck and watched as your spine bent to his every design, watching your face carefully as he worked the toy between your legs. The noises leaving you fuelling his need to make this an unforgettable experience. “These sounds you make, they’re better than any noise I’ve heard before…. that furrow in your brow, the way your lips part when you can’t stay quiet… the tension in your body I feel before you find relief… all of it is something I can’t believe I get to witness or that I get to create.” Hunter said the words in a frenzied state of passion and he needed to make sure you also understood. “Do you see why I’m so glad to call you mine? Do you see how beautiful you are?”
“Yes.” You agreed with a broken groan as your hips chased the sensations he was giving you.
He removed the toy, ignoring your faint mewl of annoyance. “Who are you?” Hunter growled as he nipped on your earlobe.
“I’m your wife.” You gasped, practically delirious with the effect he was having on you.
Hunter hummed his approval and put the toy back, grinning against your jaw as he kissed a sensual path along it before he asked next, “And who am I?”
“You’re my husband.” You panted as you saw the way his ring reflected in the evening light.
Yes he was. And that was never going to change. “Come for your husband.”
You fell apart with a loud cry and panted breathlessly as you sagged against his chest, but he wasn’t done with you yet. “Hunter-” You choked on your words as he kept going. You went to snap your legs shut but the way he’d entangled his legs with yours made the act impossible. You were completely at his mercy, and you couldn’t think of anything better. As you kept your eyes fixed on your two reflections, you saw the hunger in them and you couldn’t believe you’d spent so long denying yourself these feelings you had for him but you couldn’t linger on those thoughts as you felt yourself stumbling towards another release. Another shout emitted from your lips as that build up of wonderful pressure crashed through you.
As he worked you through the second one, another idea entered Hunter’s head and he kissed the sensitive spot behind your ear. “I wonder how many times I can make you finish with this.” He purred with seductive intent but he allowed you a moment to recover as he traced his lips over any skin he could reach.
A whimper left you at the very thought but that wasn’t what you wanted yet. You wanted to feel him, you craved the feeling of him inside you. You wanted your husband. You used your freedom to turn and straddle him. “For the next two weeks, you can do whatever you want. But I need you. Now.” You insisted breathlessly against his lips as you practically tore his jacket off and frantically got to work on unbuttoning his shirt.
It hit him then. Two weeks. He had two weeks of pure relaxation with you. One week here, and one away on the neighbouring island planet that he’d been to a couple days ago upon Shep’s safety recommendation and he’d seen for himself how little the people there cared for or even paid attention to the Empire.
There’d be no interruptions.
No jobs needing done.
Just him and you.
Alone.
And the thought excited him much more than he’d anticipated. With a low, eager groan, he let go of the toy, wrapped his arms around you and captured your lips in a searing kiss and helped aid you in your attempts to undress him before he did the same for you.
You raised your hips before carefully bringing them back down to welcome him as your bodies became one, the sensation making both your breath’s catch in your throat.
Hunter kept you secure for a second as your hips became flush with his. He needed a moment to compose himself and he also wanted to give you time to adjust. He tenderly tucked the dishevelled strands of hair back from your face and looked into your eyes and he saw a love that he knew was reflected in the way he looked at you too- and it wasn’t an expression that was just for tonight but it was one that you shared for as long as you’d known one another. He couldn’t believe how there’d been a time where he thought feeling this happy, feeling this much love wasn't a possibility for either of you. “Tell me when.” He requested, his voice strained.
Move. Please. You gave your consent instantly as you kissed him once more and finally, he loosened his grip and the act gave you both what you were longing for.
The two of you moved in perfect synchronisation, swallowing each other’s groans with loving, passionate kisses.
There was nothing but pure, unfiltered love between the two of you as you got lost in the pleasure induced haze you were gifting one another.
“Sweetheart, I- I can’t- I’m-” Hunter stammered desperately as he moved his hips in tandem with yours. He’d already been close to the edge when he was both watching and participating in your little game and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold out with how perfect you felt now but he needed you to finish one more time. He needed to feel you come apart again.
You recognised the change in his pace and you knew he was nearing that same point you were. “With me.” You encouraged as you twisted your fingers in his hair to ground you as you were tumbling towards that moment of ecstasy.
Hunter felt you tighten around him which only brought on his own release. He buried his face in your chest as he finished with a deep moan.
You collapsed against his chest and for a moment, the only sounds that filled the air were your uneven pants and the island critters that came alive at this time of night. Wow, that- I- I don’t know what else to say other than that.
Hunter huffed out a laugh. “When we go away, bring that bag with you.” He requested into the quiet through heavy breaths as he stroked your back.
You chuckled softly as you rested your head against him and worked on catching your own breath. “So, Sergeant, now that you’ve made an honest woman out of me, what’s the plan for the next 14 days?”
“Keeping you in bed is a key part of my agenda.” He said with complete seriousness.
A rush of arousal swept through your body at that thought. “We’ll need to eat at some point.” You pointed out with playful logic, a smile in your voice as you listened to his heartbeat.
“Oh, I will… We know the counters here are strong enough anyway…” Hunter mused as his hands now slid up and down your sides.
You raised yourself to catch the gleam in his eye and you shook your head fondly. “You know that’s not what I meant.”
Hunter hummed out a soft laugh and made a path of kisses from the tip of your nose, to the hollow of your throat before he switched your positions, so he was now on top of you. “The second part of my plan is making sure I make you as happy as you make me.”
Your fingers stroked through the small pieces of his fringe before you threaded your fingers in his dark locks. “You’ve already done that and more. I’ve never been happier.” You said with deep sincerity, and you kissed him gently, the promise of your new life together implicitly understood in the tender way you met the passionate, loving strokes of his mouth.
Finally, you felt utterly complete and at peace.
--
Ten years later
The moonlight was her only guide as she walked the familiar path to the cave.
She quietly made her way into the cavern and to her new ship that was finally ready to fly.
She didn’t feel great about leaving in the dead of night without saying a proper goodbye but her mind was made up and she couldn’t face any more debates.
She was going and that was that. She knew you’d all accept her choice in time.
–
As she entered and crouched down to turn the lamps on, she heard a faint bark and as she followed the source of the sound, she realised she wasn’t alone after all.
Of course, she should’ve known the couple that consisted of a Jedi and a clone with enhanced senses would make it impossible to do anything sneakily.
She fondly shook her head and made her way over to where you two were sitting by the area of the cave that looked out through and opening to where the moonlight and ocean met.
–
“Thought you could just sneak off?” Hunter said with an amused lilt to his voice before he sighed as he realised there was no changing what was about to happen. “Time hasn’t dulled all my senses.”
“And older Jedi or now, you forget that we know you pretty well by now.” You pointed out with a kind smile from Hunter’s left.
Omega sat down on Hunter’s other side. “This shouldn’t be a surprise. The Rebellion needs pilots now more than ever.”
Hunter simply released a resigned sigh.
“I’ve made my choice, Hunter. I want to do more.”
“And we want to keep you safe.”
A light huff of laughter left her lips. Some things time never changed and Hunter’s protective nature was one of those things. “You have but I’m not a kid anymore. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Oh, come on, Omega. You know we can’t do that.” You reminded her with a slight smile. You were prepared for this but the reality of it was always going to be hard to handle.
Hunter nodded his agreement with your statement before he said to her, “You’re our kid, Omega. You always will be.”
She glanced at you “Hunter, you’ve all fought enough. This is my fight. I’m ready.” She needed him to understand that or she’d be leaving with a heavy heart. Omega looked to you for confirmation that he was finally ready to let her go as you were the only one during the beginning of all the back and forth that had immediately shown a willingness to hear her out.
He’s not here to stop you but let him have a bit longer with you, okay? You requested gently and you saw her give you a subtle dip of her head that she’d heard you.
“Yeah I know you are, but I’m not.” Hunter admitted with a deep sigh. He registered your hand squeezing his knee in comfort.
My love, it’s time. You said delicately.
Hunter released a shaky exhale before you all got to your feet.
Omega gave Hunter a warm embrace before she pulled back but left her hands on his shoulders. “Keep an eye on the others while I’m gone. Batcher too.” Omega instructed with a sad but also content smile. Leaving was never going to be easy but at least now she had the blessing of those that mattered most to her.
You took your turn and squeezed her tight. Take this.
Omega’s eyes widened as she parted from you and saw what you were holding. “No, I can’t. It’s-”
“I want you to have it, Omega.” You insisted as you tied the bracelet with your blue kyber crystal attached to it. I love you, kid and I know you won’t exactly have time for a weekly comm chat but this way, I’ll always know where you are.
Omega gave you a happy but slightly teary-eyed smile as she nodded her acceptance of the gift.
The three of you shared in a final group hug before you separated for the last time.
“Off you go.” Hunter encouraged with a sad but accepting grin.
Omega darted up the steps of her ship.
“Omega…”
She half turned to face Hunter again.
“If you ever need us, we’ll be there.” He promised as he wrapped his arm around you and squeezed your shoulder.
“Just say where and when.” You affirmed passionately.
Omega nodded and powered up the shift and she’d never felt more ready for this next adventure. With a final wave of farewell from the cockpit, she got the ship in the air.
In response to Batcher’s quiet whine as the ship took off, Hunter reassured the hound, “It’s alright, girl. She’ll be fine.”
“They won’t know what hit them.” You said proudly as you watched the ship fade into the distance.
“The Empire or the Rebellion?” Hunter quipped.
“Both.” You replied with a smile. “Come on. We’ve got our family to get back too.” You intertwined your hands and the two of you and your faithful hound companion left the cavern.
–
“So, now that one of our own is off on the next adventure, are you still liking the boring, domestic life?” Hunter asked light-heartedly as the two of you made your way back to your home.
You paused and looped your arms around his neck with a doting smile. “I love my boring, domestic life and you forget, this life has my handsome husband in it and I would be crazy if I wanted anything different.” You replied sincerely.
Hunter offered you a small, playful smirk. “Still handsome huh? Don’t you mean old?”
You arched a sceptical brow. Surely he wasn’t serious? Your eyes hungrily scanned the healthy body of a man that didn’t have to live battle to battle or ration to ration and the grown out hair that had beautiful streaks of light grey mixed in with the dark brown locks. And the beard? You didn’t have enough words or time to even express how well that worked for him. He never failed to get your heart racing, no matter how much time passed. “Have you seen yourself, Hunter? It’s actually unfair how good you look.”
Hunter returned your smile and placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him. He nuzzled the side of your face as he murmured, “You get my heart racing too.”
You chuckled softly- you knew he would’ve sensed the increase in your heartbeat. You kissed him tenderly in response before the two of you walked on.
You ruminated in your thoughts as your home drew nearer. Omega wasn’t a kid anymore, this decision was hers to make and she had all the support behind her. Would you all worry? Of course you would, that was a given no matter what she was signing up for but she had proven time and time again that she could take care of herself. Your paths may be different now but family was the only thing you could always count on and no matter where any of you ended up, that was a certainty that was never going to fade with time.
Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @andreaaxy, @moonychicky, @notgonnaedit, @arctrooper69, @dizzy-9906, @nightmonkeysstuff, @allthingsimagines, @thegreymarveljedi, @jellybeanstacey0519, @callsign-denmark, @superbookishhufflepuff, @qvnthesia, @justsomerandompersonintheworld, @ooostarwarsfandom501st, @dreamsight73, @yourreababboon, @livin-life-to-the-coolest
#the bad batch#the bad batch season 3#the bad batch s3#hunter x reader#hunter x femalejedi!reader#hunter x female!reader#hunter x fem!reader#sergeant hunter#sergeant hunter x reader#hunter tbb#hunter the bad batch#the bad batch x you#hunter x y/n#tbb hunter x reader#the bad batch fanfiction#star wars#friends to lovers#fluff#smut
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
do you have any advice for someone who is 100% sedentary and wants to become fit in 2025? I never practiced any sports and never went to a gym
first advice is to bite a smaller piece. if you're completely new to fitness, you're better off not having "becoming fit" as your short-term goal (one year is not a long time for a full on body transformation imo). instead, I recommend that you just make "getting started" as your goal. smaller goals are easier to follow through!
my second advice is to try out different things, if that's available to you. most if not all gyms and studios have trial periods, often for free, so do that! go to different classes, talk to people who are already used to those practices, ask questions to tutors/instructors, get the feel of it to find out what kind of movement attracts you. same goes for sports, if that's more your vibe. lots of cities have community centers and non-pro groups that promote different sports, so seek those out if it's available.
(I honestly believe and always advocate that the most important part in building a healthy fitness routine is to find out what kind of physical activity you actually enjoy doing, because that's how you'll keep coming back to it.)
third advice is to take it slow and understand the process deeply. this shit takes a looooong time to present visible results, and that can be disheartening. like, you'll be exhausted, often bored, sometimes sore, even injured if you go too hard, and you still won't see the results that you're expecting. the effort is not directly and not immediately proportional to visible results.
I say "visible" results because, on the inside, the change is instant. one good workout session can completely turn your life around, I truly believe this. I remember the first time I did an hour of yoga, because it fundamentally transformed me as a person. but things like weight loss, toning, muscle definition, strength, flexibility etc take a long time, especially when you've never done anything physical before.
and my final advice is to not set your eyes solely on 2025! if you want to become a fit person, I can already tell you that it's not a one-year plan, but a lifetime commitment. you'll never reach a point where you're like, oh well I've done it, now I can quit and go back to my old ways. fitness and health are arrangements that need to last forever, because you'll never not need them. we as a society may treat them as optional, but as human beings we need them regardless of how we feel about them.
hope this helps you 💘
#inbox#anon#becoming that girl#it girl#self care#self love#self improvement#personal growth#wellness girl#clean girl#it girl energy#wellnesscore#green juice girl#pilates aesthetic#pink pilates princess#wonyoungism#that girl#fitspo
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
imma be so fr rn i think its homophobic when people are fine with yuri but go up in arms about yaoi. like seriously. because its so fucking stupid to act as though yuri is somehow less fetishistic than yaoi when legit the entire fetish appeal of lesbianism in yuri is the fact that its "so pure and untainted by men". Straight men who consume yuri love it because they have a thing for purity in a similar vein as straight women love yaoi for being guys "sinning" and shit. I think both of these sentiments are foul in their own respective ways and its plain ignorant to act as though the "purity" of yuri is made out of a respect for lesbians instead of fetishistic appeal. And dont get it twisted rn and think im saying yaoi and yuri both suck; you know i love both of these genres, but i can criticize it without saying the genre as a whole is some evil demon shit. Straight erotica also houses a plethora of problematic themes and sentiments because every genre is going to have issues, especially when its lewd content. Lewd content is made TO BE fetishistic because well... its lewd; the problems that arise are not black or white matters and I think that if people are willing to enjoy straight erotic manga critically but unwilling to give the same grace to yaoi or yuri then thats plain homophobic. Because when people act as though yaoi and yuri having these problems means that the genres as a whole are unsalvagable while straight erotica can still be excused, it implies that homosexuals are obligated to be BETTER than heterosexual content to be accepted. It creates this idea that homosexual content is somehow inherently more dirty and needs to make up for this fact by being morally superior in other ways. 50 shades of gray and twilight can exist with a littany of foul tropes and problematic themes that are completely put into a fetishistic light, and yes it recieves mockery and is called cringe (because it is), but how come thats all it gets while some yaoi has the same shit going on and is treated like the entire genre as a whole needs to be exterminated??????? nobody has ever said that all shitty novels made for lonely women need to be demolished because of twilight and 50 shades of gray, and anyone who has gets called out for their misogyny because its fucking stupid to act like an entire genre of content should be killed for some cringe loser shit being mixed in with it. All porn has problematic tropes, and its so homophobic to act like specifically the genre of gay men having sex is the most egregious offender of these tropes while passing off yuri as fine because the problematic tropes it houses feed into the idea of purity.
Like oh my god, the majority of yuri is not made for lesbians. Even though it is made by women, these women are not fucking queer women. They're straight women who are feeding into the misogynistic ideals of pure, feminine women remaining pure and feminine by keeping untainted by men while exploring eachothers bodies. thats why yaoi and yuris problems mirror eachother in that you see an abundance of heteronormativity in yaoi (big semes, small ukes; with the smaller feminine one being lured into a tainted world of sin by being gay or whatever) while yuri has the opposite problem with a lack of body diversity because it focuses on ideal feminine ladies remaining untouched by "sin" by only touching eachother. Why do you think that around the same time yaoi was full of shit like junjou romantica bullshit yuri was also notorious for being boring as hell with two girls thats have no personalities making out together? Because BOTH of these genres had these issues much more severely in the 2000s-2010s. Yaoi was too crazy with that sinning fetish while Yuri was too boring with that purity fetish. Its also so stupid when people keep using examples from that era of yaoi as evidence that western mlm work is sooooo much better and superior compared to the entire fucking genre because its comparing shit from ten years ago to shit made now. Idk if you remember but literally ten years ago pedo bear was a normal thing that was goddamn EVERYWHERE online. Culture changes and i can assure you western gay media was not so squeaky clean during that time either; but this is a whole 'nother enchilada to be devoured another time.
Anyways in short; its homophobic as hell if you embrace yuri but shun yaoi. All you're doing is showing you have a fundamental lack of understanding concerning the roots of yuri and who yuri is actually made for. You're acting like gay men having sex is inherently "dirtier" than straight people having sex and that they need to compensate by being more morally righteous. I'm not saying that the different problematic tropes found in each type of erotica is good and shouldn't be changed, but its homophobic to excuse straight porn while refusing that same grace to yaoi. And it disgusts me seeing people continue to perpetuate the sentiment of gay men being seen as sin and lesbian women being seen as pure (in an almost baby-fying way) only wrapped up in a new convoluted form of packaging while acting like theyre protecting homosexuals.
#its like how r/adical f/eminism and t/erfs are so 'pro-women' that they wrap all the way back around to being misogynistic as hell and#closer to alt right ideology than anything else#im so glad people are more normal about yaoi now#but i still see anti yaoi sentiments sometimes and it makes me genuinely mad#i fucking hate white girls. its always white girls doing this shit.#or some 17-19 year old nonbinary person who calls me a perverted faggot and is apart of the reason i dont really feel attachment to the lgbt#community#i have a lot more thoughts about how people treat the word fujoshi and fudanshi too#but thatll be for another time#one thing though is that if you say that the fujo/fudan lable is inherently bad because fu = rot#then you are fucking stupid because uhmmm you ever used the word queer?#im a rotten man just like how gay people are queer 🗿
50 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was just ambushed within the turbulent halls of my own mind by some headcanons about rye ingellvar's childhood that did 15000000 points of psychic damage to me and my heart personally and also made me almost sure of how I want to play it all at the end (very very differently from how I imagined going in!). some 'oh holy fuck this changes everything' rocking my own world bullshit going on in my neurons right now I'm reeling
#I'm sorry to say that despite what I expected I think the dread wolf might be going down violently on my first run???#not because *I* love solas any less but because of who rye is and some of the twists I know happen down the line#which does make for a neat thing b/c I meant to play the crow I'm going with second as initially incredibly hostile#and then growing to feel for him and redeeming him at the end.#so if rye starts out very reasonable and sympathetic and then is brought to 'haha. no. fuck you forever for that in particular' at the end#...a pleasing cosmic symmetry in it I must admit. perfect and also makes me feel a bit sick#I'll try to put together something coherent eventually but for now#it's sort of a 'my name is ellaryen ingellvar you killed the guy#that my brain went 'close enough welcome back beloved and much missed deceased father figure' over. prepare to despair and die'#I think just the killing part might not have done it but everything that comes after? rye is a chill guy until he finally decides#that enough is fucking *enough*. and that was the most enough of all time for them#it also explains rye's accent (one of his primary caregivers growing up was a dwarf)! so many birds with one stone here#also I am so fucking sad now and I did it entirely to myself. I love fiction I love games (embarassingly genuine)#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#oc: ellaryen ingellvar#thank god that the romanced solas playthrough is the second one tho that does make things less dire haha#adaar would have given it the good old college try to get solas to change his mind right to the end I think#but even his capable hands and politician's mind could not hold back the sheer beware the fury of a patient man storm#that is about to hit solas for the shit he just pulled. I think rye and solas are -- as it turns out -- TOO alike in many ways#...solas buddy I'm so sorry I'll come back for you on the second playthrough and make it right I swear fhsak#it's just that a second dead dwarf dad has joined the chat to haunt the narrative (and this time it's fucking personal frfr)#it's almost scary how quick I've gotten attached to my rook tho. I've waited A DECADE to save this bald elf man from himself#and then rye shows up with steel in his normally kind eyes going 'no. I want that fucker *dead*'. and I just go anything for you babyboy#I'll see what we can do. unspeakable stuff
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i found loads of pictures of my uncle i am going 2 cry
#he looked so sweet…..he looks SO much like my dad#i found the last picture of him that my granddad took a month or so before he died it’s so sad#trying to decide if i should tell my mum that i know about him or if i should just keep it to myself#idk if somethings wrong with me maybe it’s because i was already grieving before i found out#but it’s really getting 2 me i can’t concentrate on my uni shit i just keep thinking about it#i think i rlly need to talk about it with someone but i have no idea who or how or what i’d say. but it’s weird because it’s a secret yk#like i’m not even supposed to know he existed#idk. i have a gender clinic appointment next week and i’m going to ask if they can recommend any therapists#me being very very brave and trying therapy again after being forced into it my whole life and ending up a bit traumatised#idk. i feel bad that i’m alive and i’m wasting my life when my uncle got killed when he was just a kid#it makes me feel like i should be more grateful and do more with myself.#and i am going to try but i’d rather he was here instead. same with my granddad#every time i experience something beautiful or good i wish my granddad could experience it because he deserved it more than me#and the best i can do is experience it for him and be grateful. but i would chance places instantly if i could#him and his kid deserve to be here they were so special. i know i don’t know his kid but i’ve heard they were similar#so i know he must have been special too#i found a fb comment today from a family friend i’ve never met and she was saying that she only met my granddad once#but she called him gentle and it made me cry. because he was very scottish and sweary and traditional and masculine#so everyone just assumed he was tough and scary but if you knew him he was really quiet and kind#and i’m glad someone who only met him once could see that#i’m going to be half asleep for the rest of my life i think. i’ve been dreaming since my granddad died and i don’t feel like i ever woke up#nothing has felt real since i was nine years old. everything just stopped and never started again#i’ve just been waiting. i’m waiting for him to change his mind and come back. idk. i don’t know what to do with myself#and i continuously feel fucking insane and stupid for being this way. it’s like fresh grief all the fucking time#but it was fifteen years ago. why does it still feel this way#i can’t even tell people because they won’t understand why i’m still so bothered by it#he was my parent for nine years. i lived with him he was my sole caretaker#i was nonverbal and him and my brother were the only people on the planet who knew what my voice sounded like#he’d think it was silly if i failed my exam because i was crying about him instead#he’d tell me to whisht and stick in. so i will
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
A post-canon, pre-reunion No. 6 playlist for Shion. This playlist follows Shion from the end of Volume 9, through Beyond, until just before he reunites with Rat. It concludes right before the events of my story, Summer Rain.
In the Country - La Luz There isn't one thing that I wouldn't do for you Why leave?
Good Grief - Dessa But I’m willing to work for this Just show me where to dig And I’m ready to hurt for this
I Don't Trust U Anymore - Left at London As a kid, I was idolizing millionaires and all the presidents But I don't trust them anymore No way, no way, no, not again And I may never trust at all No way, no way, I'm over them
Working for the Knife - Mitski I always thought the choice was mine And I was right, but I just chose wrong I start the day lying and end with the truth That I'm dying for the knife
Glass House - Screaming Females Whose house is this? A gift was promised Future structures till we all vanish
The Center Won't Hold - Sleater-Kinney I need a real affliction Gives me a reason to stay I need a new reflection Don't wanna see my face
Fear the Future - St. Vincent When the Earth split in two I was I, you were you I run for you Run for me, too
Kokomo, IN - Japanese Breakfast God, I wish we could go back there Left alone in my room I know they deserve you too And maybe I'm not that worthy
#no. 6#no.6 novel#no. 6 shion#no.6 shion#nezushi#More description:#In Beyond we see that Shion is super depressed and we see him make a power grab#so this is about his journey from grief over Safu's death and Rat's departure to trying to do the work on the Restructuring Committee#but eventually realizing that they're STUCK in old patterns all the other cities suck too so there is no just future in reform#1 is the end of Vol 9 where - why can't we just make this into somewhere we can both live#2 is about Shion trying to work through his grief re Safu (and Rat leaving) to do the work of “restructuring”#3 is his motivation for breaking shit down and “restructuring”#4-6 about realizing that “restructuring” is insufficient because all the city-states are fundamentally exploitative#7-8 are about essentially giving up and desperately wanting to see Rat again#And some extraneous info...#1 La Luz is a Seattle based all-women group and their instrumentals are HYPNOTIC imo#2 Good Grief seems really good for Shion dealing with losing Safu and not having time to process until way after#3 re the l@l song I feel like shion is like ok nezumi told me not to change but i also can't trust anything i ever learned before this#i know shion did not idolize the president but he was TAUGHT to do that and the point is he doesn't know where to look for guidance bc#Rat is gone. but like also i wonder if he's like wow i've basically just been dumped fuck the world#Left at London is a trans woman who sings about cool shit like taking down the government so she had to be here#4 i feel like after he kicks Yomin off the RC he's probably like that was for sure the wrong decision and also i should have gone with my b#also i love mitski and was deciding btw this one & Nobody#5 this is like extreme disillusionment. we were supposed to be doing something good but it's all still rotten!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#screaming females is also all women and so are the next ones so this is unintentionally an all women playlist haha#6 i love sleater-kinney and i feel like this fits shion well bc he was sort of everyone's light and now he's like never smiling#(per Karan in his Beyond chapter)#7 is so relatable. like please just tell me what's coming next!!!!#8 is the long distance theme song fr + i love japanese breakfast
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
long winded rant in the tags coming that’s partly about weight but in a very unfiltered sad way so if that triggers you do Not read on
#on holiday I was like oHHHHH this is what living in the moment is! What listening to your body is! what not worrying about how you look is#but doing what makes you happy#and then …… I came home and got sent the pictures#+ my friend being. unintentionally fatphobic as fuck#while hurtful as fuck too#and it’s all just been piling up too since I got home because I’ve been having a lot of conversations and seeing a lot of people that#confront me with who I used to be and who I am now and how I’m really not happy with that#and it feels like it’s not gonna get better#like I’m destined to be in a job I like but isn’t what I want because I’m not capable enough and I’ll never know what romantic requited love#feels like. I’ll never cure my vaginismus I’ll never be able to let someone in or they won’t want me this is just it for me#and SOMEHOW the way I look has become the ultimate culmination of all those things?#my face is suddenly a woman in her thirties face#I keep gaining weight despite not even eating all that much because FUCKING PCOS makes it impossible#my hair in my face grew back. my stomach is hairy and that plus the added beer belly just makes it look like I’m a 50 year old man#I am soooooooo tired of the dysphoria#and the way pcos ruins fucking everything because I can restrict calories all I want and move all I want but will it help ? No !#and of the fact that it impacts the way I feel about myself so much because I’m convinced now I’ll never find anyone#should have tried harder when I was 21 because that was the only time in my life I reasonably fit society’s standards like That was my shot#I’ve been taking supplements everyone says will help but I’m not sure I noticed anything in the past six months and I can’t take berberine#because it fucks with my heart medication. which. That too. I have that too#and I’m in pain! All the time now! ALL THE TIME so I can’t even work out to keep the weight stable because guess what ?#just after a normal day at the office I come home and have to lie down because everhthing hurts so much !#today I got an impromptu massage in an attempt to feel better but it didn’t fix shit and I had to buy clothes for kings day after#and I didn’t try them on just quickly grabbed some orange shit to try on at home and at what I saw in the mirror I genuinely got nauseous#I just don’t know who that is in the mirror but it’s not me and I can’t accept it. I’ve been trying so hard but I can’t#it genuinely makes me so sad and I keep telling myself that a reduction will help in feeling more like myself and it will help with the pain#but what if it doesn’t? what if my pain doesn’t go away after af all and my stomach just juts out and I feel like a gremlin all the time#what then. what the fuck do we do then. also I’m so fucking scared of that surgery anyway that I don’t fucking want to do it anymore#I want so many things and all of them feel out of reach and I know my own brain is my worst enemy and it’s not rooted in anything real but.#Isn’t it? really — isn’t it???????
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh mind electric we're really in it now.
#Cade.Txts#i think about tht song all the time.#when they say: Someone help me / Understand what's Going on Inside my Mind! / Doctor I can't tell if I'm Not Me!#I felt tht shit#like man.................me too.#idk tht bit of lyrics has always kinda hit me hard specifically.#Anyways how is everyone doin. sorry I don't ;ost much anymore.#I am posting on my stimblog mostly now BHINJGFDNI if u wanan see stimboards check it out.#im doing a series of stimboards on my favorite pokemon#so far got two boards out already d:)#Wanna keep working on it but i should also make gifs of stuff.#been kind of stressed by shit lately thts unrelated. worried about bigfoot.#he's been acting weird lately. real sluggish n tired. his teeth are bad- n we need to take him to get them checked#but it cost like. 600 to just get a few teeth taken from our dog frankie.#s o. -slides stimboard commission post on my stimblog- /nf#dont like advertising it. feels weird making things for money but if he does need teeyh removed#idk any other way i could make money for it.#hes just got me worried. he's a old man- even tho i always forget he is-#thinking about losing him scares me. am probably rly over thinking shit- he's old course he sleeps n lays around a lot.#but im stil worried.#ANYWHO. stimboard grind 24/7
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#helpp i know sometimes ppl use ai for school TO SUMMARIZE really long readings when theyre short on time#like i still dont think thats. ideal. but i can understand it.#what i cant understand is using ai writing for assignments.. which ive had ppl proudly talking abt before.. ew#and recently my brothers been using ai for like. cover page and resume layouts but like..#wait actually i think i could solve my brothers layout problem if he just wants to remake his old one but ANYWAY..#hes sounded pretty happy abt it and it makes me feel a little bad but even my parents r like. why r u using ai 💀#AND IM GLAD bc theyre usually. not right w their opinions im ngl#idk whats my dads deal with it but my moms is that people are getting lazier or dumber and not doing things on their own#and thats part of why i want my brother to stop too but hes stubborn and he probs like that it saves him some time#but genuinely i think he spent a good amount of time generating layouts and even asked me abt it#but i probably couldve remade his in google docs in less.. and he'd be able to edit and adjust everything to his liking too#idk why i just realized i could remake it today😭 saw the side column and my brain shut off idk! its possible even w my limited knowledge#ALSO ON AI. heard from a cousin whos in his late teens say that he has friends who are “dating” their ai bots?#like snapchat ai chats? girl huh#like i knew abt c.ai and shit but the snapchat bot? if ur on snap then just talk to people 😭#like i knew people would freak out that would freak out whenever c.ai was down for maintenance n shit#but i think even they have more awareness than the people who go around announcing theyre dating their chat ai#and like i get it! bot says everything u wanna hear n ur like ooh🥺#but like. at the end of the day thats still just a chat ai.. and apart from the “wtf” factor. i do feel bad if ppl cant remember that😭#where was i going w this umm. using ai writing! bad! and im not even gonna get started on art 💀#i think for me also part of it is like. do u really want to write to other ppl in some ai's words and not ur own?#and ai can generate u as many nice looking resumes as u want but when u need to update it ull have to redo the process of#generating a new one or a similar one all over again if u dont have access to it in a way where u can make edits..#like its just a waste of your time and the writing isnt sincere idk. ig it matters less if u think ppl wont see it#but i heard ppl r doing it for creative writing applications to universities too and its like. why? what are u writing#a prompt? girl get the fuck out of here#anyway. will quit yapping 💀 ai bad#44597
0 notes
Text
If anyone here keeps a reading/book journal what do you dooo. I feel like I’ve tried multiple options and none of them have really been perfect
#this year & 2023 i used a goodnotes template i found on etsy#what i like about it is it’s aesthetically pleasing to me; there’s one page per book; and there are places to keep statistics#what i don’t like is when i want to do a specific reading challenge like a bingo i always lose track of that page#and it doesn’t fit the rest of the journal aesthetically#i also don’t like how.. finicky it feels?#i don’t like writing with a smart pen. if i’m going to be writing by hand at all it needs to be with an actual pen#i make way more mistakes writing on a screen than i do on paper#i also ended up deleting a lot of stuff like series trackers (because i mostly read standalones) and stuff like colouring in books#as i read them. because that would probably be fun if i was doing it on actual paper but it’s NOT fun on a tablet i can tell you that#so basically the templates provided didn’t fit my style all the time and there isn’t a good way for me to add in stuff i do want to do#i mean i can duplicate pages but that’s it#i don’t think another ipad journal is for me. i gave zinnia a try but i didn’t find it intuitive at all#and i can’t justify the price of £35 for the year#for that amount i might as well buy a leuchtturm and some stickers and washi tape and go full bullet journal girly#i do think longhand might be the way. but my problem is i have a real tendency to run my mouth#i would have to enforce the one page per book rule rigidly or we’ll have a repeat of the filofax incident of 2019 (when i had to buy a ton#of filofax refills because i kept writing too much about the books i read that year#and i read 106 books that year so i physically couldn’t keep everything in the filofax)#also i can’t draw for shit; my printer is 10 years old and hates me; and i don’t want to buy anything#so it’s going to be so unaesthetic i will get bored Quickly#honestly i see myself going back to what i did from 2020-22 which was one long google doc for the year#number; book title; author; page count; date finished. bullet point thoughts#i don’t know why i left this behind. probably because it was a bit too spartan even for me#look i’ll figure it out#personal
0 notes