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#i scrubbed out as much as i could
bedtimeemmy · 4 months
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It may have indeed been a bad idea to buy a cream-colored sofa, even if it was on sale
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undersea arc. undersea arc. when. undersea arc when.
#my post#please. please. please. on my hands and knees BEGGINGGGG#maybe if gill didnt get donjon'd theydve gone#bcus it was like. that was when they were like 'its too dangerous out here we need to get ollie home Now.'#but if theyd just gone to the feywild. put on a funny show. fought the doctor. and then gone back to liquidis?#ollie wouldve gone 'just oneee more adventure pleaseee :( pleaseeeeeee :(' and chip wouldve caved and well. well. opens the map.#yeah the undersea capitol is actually pretty close to liquidis#they couldve gone. they couldve gone#I NEED THINGS TO BE NOT DIRE. I NEED THINGS TO BE SILLY AGAIN#although if they go to the undersea its automatically going to be dire anyways.#goddd i want an undersea arc i want gillion to see the REAL elders again#yknow how in ep 53 chip and gill sorta stood in the back and shouted encouragement to jay but ultimately let her handle the situation when#it came to her dad. i think confronting the elders will go much the same way#guh. god i want them to go to the undersea i luterally think about this all the fucking time#going to warn the elders about the navy and the black sea spreading and the nameless prince.#wwhat if gill could show them the room he grew up in. what if they go there and its bare empty. what if they scrubbed all evidence gill eve#existed.#alternate also evil version. what if they somehow ran into gills parents. and he doesnt recognize them but they recognize him#more because of the coral crown than anything else#guh. idk man i just desperately want them to go to the undersea
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ducktracy · 1 year
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he needs what us city folk call "a bath", but my vintage cartoon collection grows as i accidentally drown myself in more pigs because nobody made any Daffy merch in the 40s
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swine shrine
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dandyshucks · 26 days
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literally every item except for the pkmn game 😭 which, I should be clear, i am very very grateful for fjkdkl i was actually not expecting to receive more than two or three things, and the frying pan will be immensely useful djdkdl but aough there is a certain disappointment to the game not being one of the gifts fjdjkl
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maybe, alongside Photography With Kim, Ulixes would meet up with some of the Speedfreaks to go dumpster diving in Revachol East.
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t4tstarvingdog · 10 months
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just had the best shower of my life but i hate coming out of it
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telomania · 2 years
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I logged into Sheila's tumblr after a week and a half to do another bot sweep and had to block, like, 19 bots.
Thought Eve's blog would be even worse since I haven't logged into her for a few months, but she had nothing. Wild.
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orcelito · 2 years
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anytime people complain about golfers (like real golf, not mini-golf) i think of my rich ex step family where we’d take family trips down to south carolina and every trip without fail there would be a day where all the men would go golfing and all the women & children would just hang around the house. which like i was 100% fine with, i was perfectly happy just hanging out and swimming in the pool or whatever. 
but like. in hindsight. what a fucking Rich Person thing to do lmao
#speculation nation#oh god do i got STORIES from having rich step family for a time#my ex step mom was Not rich. the only one from the family who wasnt (she wanted to be a school teacher)#so our lil family unit was the only relatively normal one there. and god fucking Damn the passive judgement was insane#some of them were nice. but some of them were such judgey assholes#gotta love the uncle who gave his kid a fucking uhhh like mac laptop back in the year of like 2009 ish where they were Real expensive#i mean theyre still expensive but ya kno#or maybe it was an ipad. or maybe it was BOTH at different times. i barely even remember.#whatever you've read about rich people is true. these were relatively nice rich people and it was still true.#i did enjoy the benefits tho. like hanging out in a private movie theater next to the sauna (which was also connected to the hot tub)#same house had heated bathroom floors and ipads installed into the walls as system controllers. still fucking insane.#and there i was in this basement fucking around with my homestuck blog and watching mirai nikki and listening to some GOD awful mashup music#i did not exactly fit into the rich scene. as you could imagine from how i am today.#certainly gave me some experiences tho. ive been around both rich and poor lives alike.#and Let Me Tell You i am always MUCH more comfortable amongst the poorer sides#rich shit is just so scrubbed clean of imperfections. i always felt like a giant zit.#better off where i am lol. have Some nice things but i dont ever want a mansion. Thanks
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I don't eat all day and then my partner takes me out for dinner and we eat fish and chips and they're greasy and now it's 3am and I've not slept and my tummy hurty and I have lots of regret
#i couldn't finish it either!#usually we get takeout and we share a mini cod and chips but he insisted we ate in cus his house has no electricity and mine has 2 cats that#will try and eat the fish#and the place we ate has a strict “NO SHARING” policy for food you eat in??#so i ate half my fish and a quarter of the chips and i was embarrassed the whole time cus when i eat out it becomes very clear to everyone#around me i have *issues*#and i was utterly mortified the whole time and it was awful and now i feel unwell#not to mention cus hes not actually moved into his new place yet cus its having work done the bathroom was FILTHY#like sticky toilet seat with god knows what dried onto it??? and filth everywhere#and another one of his friends has been staying a few nights a week whilst they work locally and HOW ARE THEY USING THAT BATHROOM???#i couldn't sit on the loo and i had a panic attack looking at the state of the bathroom like its absolutely gag worthy its so fucking gross#how can someone be showering and shitting in there and??? be okay with that??????#anyway the bathroom may have influenced how much i was able to eat i am still thinking about it now it was absolutely so fucking gross#i feel physically sick#like#i have real bad ocd mostly about contamination and getting sick#and my flat gets into some right states sometimes cus depression but the one thing i can say with pride is that my bathroom is so clean#you could eat out of my toilet it is so clean#its the one room that HAS to be clean#my kitchen is a tip (a clean tip but still a tip) but my bathroom????#its sparkling! shiny and clean and delightful and not triggering as fuck!!#and i use other peoples bathrooms and they make me feel so unwell#like SO UNWELL#the place hes living atm is another ocd household so their bathroom is very clean for similar reasons to mine#but honestly the new place??? rancid!!! awful!!!!!! i may go over with cleaning supplies at some point soon and scrub it so its not so bad#its a genuine health hazard and someone is USING IT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!#sosososososooooooo gross#it needs cleaning properly#ro rambles#ocd
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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months
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Did you know guinea pigs are born just like. Tiny adults? They’re fully cooked. They come out, eyes open, fully furred, ready to do the whole array of guinea pig activities.
I learned this as a child. I was perhaps ten when this story took place. Our female guinea pig was pregnant, but she’d gotten mites and needed a bath. She was wildly pregnant. Bulging at the seams with babies. Ready to burst at any moment because all the babies needed to stay in there long enough to be full pigs. But we wanted to avoid the babies all getting mites and needing baths. We failed, they all needed baths. Mites are a bitch.
We knew she had three babies cooking in there. How did we know? We could feel each individual bulge in her belly. My mom was overseeing the pig bath but I was pretty much just doing my own thing, scrubbing her gently, rinsing the soap carefully.
After the bath our mother pig was not in the best mood. I was carrying her back to her freshly made mite free bedding when she’d had enough.
I was acutely aware that I was holding four lives in my childish grip, and I bore her along as if she were made of precious jewels and spun glass. Balanced in my hands I could feel the bulge of each of her babies slithering wetly around under her skin.
Which is why when she hauled off and sank her teeth into the meat of my hand I didn’t flinch. I didn’t drop her. I bore her as carefully and steadily as if I weren’t now bleeding freely, and I set her gently into her pig palace.
As I drew my hands away I screamed:
“FUCK!!!”
I then turned to look at my mother, who’d been watching the process intently.
I was fully aware that I had just done the worst possible swear directly in front of an authority figure and was very probably going to be punished. My mom was looking at me with a blank expression that I was waiting to turn stormy or disappointed.
“That must have hurt a lot,” was all she said.
She helped me throughly clean and bandage the bite. All the babies were born healthy and sound, looking like someone had used a shrink ray on trio of a guinea pigs.
Years later my mother confided in me that contrary to my belief that she’d be angry for swearing what she’d felt for me in that moment was overwhelming pride that in the face of pain and shock I had refused to let harm befall my little charges.
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rival-the-rose · 7 months
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I have. So much bitching to do
#it's just bitching nothing serious but#ok so the surgeon i work for is at a conference rn#so all of sx team is hunting for hours#the only options are to work er or drive nearly an hour at six am to work for a diff surgeon#i chose that option bc fuck er#then last minute that option was cancelled for today#so i told my partner that if er really needed me today they could call me in#(my partner is working er swing shift bc that's their natural schedule and even tho they don't love er they take any chance they can get)#so they call me in at three for what should've been an easy quick fb but turns out it's actually a 4.5 hr disaster#that i was scrubbed in for all of#so now I'm just now getting home and i need to be back at work in 8 hrs#which is not even what's pissing me off the most#it's that the surgeon apparently is coming home early??? and cutting two cases??? and non sx team ppl who don't need sx training#are gonna be doing it???#they don't need hours they don't need sx experience#at least if you're not going to call in your team then train new ppl? and don't make your team travel hither and yon just to make rent???#I'm just very tired and so painful(i injured my neck and still can't look to the left)#and i don't do well with changes to my routine esp when they're completely unnecessary and benefit no one??#and also this all means that the five or so hours i worked today is all I'm gonna see my partner until Friday... and we're gonna be on call#i love this job so much but at this rate I'm gonna be down nearly a full week of pay this month and yet still had to miss every tkd class#anyway#i still need to shower and then sleep#so I'm done bitching
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alsklingwille · 8 months
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tonycries · 7 months
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“She My Best Friend, Yeah We Not a Couple.”
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Synopsis. You know it’s wrong to fuck your best friend. But how can you complain when you’re slammed against the library desk and stuffed full of his big cock like this?
Pairing. Multiple x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, unprotected sex, panties in your mouth (+ some other very heinous things), really fucking dirty, public sex, jealous sex (from his side), pet names (my angel), swearing.
Word count. 1.3k
A/N. My ancestors are prolly so proud of me rn. Art by @_3em on X.
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“Best friend” his ass. 
It’s laughable really - the way those other losers think they have a chance with you when you’re begging for his dick every night. 
He’s known you since you were both whiney, snot-faced brats - and right now he’s got you sitting prettily on his lap in a study room tucked on the campus library. Your needy mewls are muffled into the crook of his neck as he holds you steady by your hips, the length of his achingly hard cock nudging the line of your ass. 
Panties hastily pulled to the side, your slick pools on his flushed tip, dripping along his length to his tight balls. Pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your racing pulse, he drags his hefty erection teasingly along your dripping folds. 
God, he could feel the way your pussy was clenching desperately around nothing and it was driving him insane. 
Surely that study buddy of yours could wait a few minutes. Who did that scrub even think he was? Eyeing his pretty lil’ best friend like that.
“Hngh- please, I want-.” you whisper into his ear, the heat of your breath sending blood rushing straight to his already rock-hard cock. Your needy whimpers are cut off as he subconsciously thrusts in-between your swollen folds, juices making the prominent veins along his length glisten.
Fuck, this was getting too much for him too. 
“Tell me what you want, my angel.” he leans down to murmur raspily in your ear, sending a trail of goosebumps down your spine. You were so fucking hot. 
That scrub couldn’t even imagine this. How perfect you were. How wet you were for him. How lustful your voice is as you sinfully whine, “I want your cock in me so badly. Want you to fuck me right here. Right now.”
With lightning speed, he’s got you bent against the cold surface of the library desk, painfully hard cock throbbing under the thin material of your panties. You gasp as his length grinds against your quivering cunt.
Having you splayed out so sinfully for him, he’s never been more thankful that the old librarian was such a heavy sleeper - probably wouldn’t wake up for a stampede of elephants if it happened. 
“This shit is getting in my fucking way.” he groans out as a large hand grabs your soaked panties. 
A sharp rip! of fabric sounds throughout the still air of the study room. “Much better.” he grins dangerously, harshly groping every inch of skin now laid completely bare for him.
“Please. Put it in.” you mewl, voice dripping with need for him. Fuck, he’ll never get used to this. 
“Shhh, my angel.” with a low hiss, he bullies his thick cock into your dripping cunt.
“God. S’tight, so tight. Pussy so desperate for me hah- sucking me back in. She doesn’t want me to leave, huh?” he grits out through strangled moans as he sheaths himself completely into your wet pussy. Shit, at this point they’ll hear him and not you.
Warm walls squeezing him to insanity, he fucks you at a feral pace, pulling out till his tip teases your dripping entrance, only to ram himself fully inside once more. 
“Ah! Hngh- It’s too much. Please!” 
He would never get to know the feeling of your snug cunt desperately sucking his cock back in every time he rams into you. He would never get to feel the way your walls clamp down on him, struggling to adjust to the burning stretch of his thick cock. He could never make you feel this good.
That loser probably has a small dick anyway.
He drinks in the pornographic ah! ah! ah! leaving your mouth at each harsh thrust, feeling intoxicated off the animalistic cadence of his hips, and the thick white ring of slick forming at his base. 
“Shit. Always so good f’me, my angel.” he groans, your pretty moans only making him thrust impossibly deeper in a way that has you scrambling to hold onto the table for support. 
His throaty groans and the merciless slapping of his heavy balls against your ass echoes across the room as his fingers dig deep purple marks into your hips.
“S-someone’s gonna hah- hear-” 
“Then we must be quiet, hm?”
Before you have a chance to process what’s happening, the wet panties that were tightly gripped in his hand are now stuffed into your mouth. You moan around the large fingers forcing themselves inside, cold rings stretching your mouth as much as your cunt.
His cock twitches as he forces you to taste yourself, feeling you getting impossibly wetter. That’s his girl. 
He could never fuck you like this. 
Moans now muffled by the fabric in your mouth, his saliva-coated fingers move down to draw rough circles on your clit - making you yelp at the stimulation. 
He knows someone could walk in at any moment - and a part of him actually wants it to happen. Let them see, he thinks. At least then those fuckers would finally take a hint.
A soft whine of his name snaps him out of his pussy-drunk thoughts, blown-out eyes now meeting your dazed ones as you lock eyes with him over your shoulder. Lipstick smeared, tears clinging to your lashes, and panties half-hanging out of your kiss-bitten lips.
Ah, actually scratch that - he’s gonna keep his pretty lil’ best friend all to himself.
“Shhh, my angel. I’ve got you.” he towers over you, pressing a trail of kisses up the curve of your spine before angling your neck to attach his lips with yours. He delights in your surprised squeal, clearly not expecting him to kiss you with your panties still in your mouth. But for you, he’d do anything.
Cock twitching, your feet almost lift off the ground as the rhythm of his hips gets harsher. He intertwines his tongue with yours, sweet slick-soaked panties wrapped in the middle. Fuck, he was going insane at the contrast of your soft tongue with the lacy fabric of your panties, hand around your neck getting tighter.
You moan incoherently as he sucks on your tongue, drool dripping down the corner of your mouth and onto the polished library desk. 
It was so fucking lewd. Doesn’t matter how many losers swarm around you - none of them deserved you. None of them could fuck you like this.
Your sounds of pleasure get more and more frantic as his cock still slams inside you relentlessly, ringed-fingers continuing their abuse on your clit - getting closer and closer to what you crave.
He can feel the way your walls flutter so snugly around him. God, he’s so fucking turned on that he doesn’t know whether the heartbeat he feels between his legs is his or yours.
Neither of you have to wait long. His tongue still continues its dance with yours, around your soaked panties, as you both cum with a muffled moan. 
Your pussy clenches around him as you climax him as if to milk his cock for all he’s worth. And you do, thick ropes of his hot cum painting your pulsing hole white. 
Riding out both your highs, he fucks his cum into you animalistically - feet lifting off the floor at his firm grip on your waist and the sheer power of his rough thrusts.
So messy. Damn, he has to send the librarian an apology gift later - a fruit basket or something, he wonders, barely lucidly. 
His mind is still foggy as he pulls his sensitive cock out, and pockets your panties for a lonely night without his dear best friend. Promptly plugging his fingers in your quivering pussy, cum smearing on his fingers, he mutters out a quick “Keep it inside.”
Walking out of the heavy, sex-filled atmosphere of the study room, he bumps into that fucking study buddy of yours - running late and clearly surprised to see him there.
With a slow smirk, “Sorry in advance, my girl made a bit of a mess in there. Hope you don’t mind.”
Hey, this is what best friends are for, right?
- GOJO, GETO, Choso, Tsukishima, ATSUMU, SUNA, Oikawa, Kuroo, EREN, Armin
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A/N. Teehee *blushes like a slut*
Longfic Sunday incoming if I manage to write 6k words by tomorrow.
Plagiarism not authorized.
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yoshistory · 10 months
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genuinely cant tell if i made things worse by trying the kitty litter thing
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bruhstories · 27 days
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sweet like honey ˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:・˚₊ *˚
summary: logan ended up spending his evenings in the bar across the street from your bakery, watching you do your job. he never approached you, never talked to you, but he always kept an eye on you, until he has a bad feeling. pairing: logan x fem!reader warning & content: swearing, violence, reader almost gets assaulted (but logan saves the day), she/her pronouns for reader, wade being wade, unprotected p in v, fluff, angst, lots of baking and mentions of food, slightly ooc logan (if you squint), slow burn, sex in a bakery wc: 6k
a/n: i don't always write, but when i do, it's a fucking thesis. unedited.
︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵
Logan was never a fan of sweets. He hated chocolate, cheesecake, gummy bears — literally anything sweet. The only thing he could barely stomach was tiramisu, and only because it had coffee in it. Other than that, he steered away from sweets like they were the fucking plague.
Yet despite all that, he found himself enjoying the smell of freshly baked croissants, custard donuts, brownies, and whatever goods you baked in your little bakery, conveniently situated across the street from his go-to bar.
Cleverly named Flour Power, it was all pastel both inside and out, with little pots of hyacinths hanging from its window and a big sign above the entrance. Not that Logan ever went there, but he always walked past it when he went for a drink. Flour Power stood out from all the shops with its baby blue windowsills and bubblegum pink door. As much as he disliked vibrant colours, his eyes were always drawn to the bakery. But not because of how it looked or the way it smelled.
No, Logan strategically sat down by the window in the bar to see you. Every evening, he watched you sell everything you had on display, from wedding cakes to éclairs, greetings customers with a warm smile on your face. He watched you turn the sign from open to closed, lock the door, clean the display shelves, the counters, the only two tables and four chairs inside, and sweep and mop the floors. Then you disappeared in the back for a while, perhaps doing the dishes or preparing dough and frosting, before you walked out, locked the door again, pulled down the blinds over the big window on the right side of the door, and left.
It became a ritual for Logan to watch you. In a way, it brought him some peace, despite him never speaking to you. To him, you were innocence personified, the type of girl who made others feel better simply by being there, and he didn't want to disturb that peace.
Tonight was an ordinary night for the 200 year old mutant. He swirled the whiskey in his glass, drank it all, then went to the bar to ask for another round, killing time until you closed the bakery, then he could finally go back to the apartment. You closed at 7 for clients and left at 8:30 every evening except for Sundays, when you didn't work. Logan knew your schedule a little to well, even knew you opened for clients at 8 in the morning, but you were there much earlier, because he could smell the pastries at around half 6. This time, however, you seemed to have a bit more work. It was past 9, it was dark, and you still hadn't left, and Logan was slightly concerned.
He watched you like a hawk, how you tucked rebellious strands of hair behind your ear when you mopped the floor, how you wiped your hands on your cute little apron after you finished scrubbing the countertops. Logan thought you had extra orders from customers, perhaps a wedding cake. He scrunched his nose at the thought of having to try so many flavours only to pick a damn cake that he probably wouldn't enjoy anyway.
But finally, you were done.
It was almost 10 when you locked the door to the bakery, double checking to make sure it wouldn't budge. Then the blinds and off you went. Logan was satisfied to see you go, but the hairs on his back suddenly stood up, his nostrils filled with the scent of danger. Bitter, sour, it went straight to his brain, and so he finished his drink and left the bar, following you down the street but keeping a safe distance.
You walked past a group of drunk men, gripping your tote bag with your left hand and your keys with your right one. You've learned to place the keys between your fingers, like claws, in case someone attacked you. Going home at that time wasn't something you enjoyed, and you always tried to avoid working late, but sometimes that was inevitable. When you heard footsteps approaching you, you picked up the pace, but paranoia kicked in, and you didn't want whoever was following you to find out where you lived, and so you took a detour.
Logan was like your shadow, going everywhere you went, until he heard something drop in a dimly lit alleyway and he sped up, finding you round a corner, pinned to a wall by a man while another guy had his hand up your dress. It was too dark to see, but Logan didn't need eyes to know that was you. He could smell the vanilla extract and icing sugar and fear.
"Take my wallet!" You told the men, but they weren't there for the money. They wanted something else from you.
"Nah, doll, I'll take something else from you. Somethin' more precious than money." One of the men said, his breath reeking of alcohol, the cheap kind.
"Hurry up and fuck her, bro, I need my turn-"
Something flashed, then a shadow lunged at the second guy who couldn't even finish his sentence before he was struck down.
"Mike?" The man who pinned you against the wall asked, his hands trembling on your body. "Stop fucking around."
But Mike was seeing stars somewhere on the alleyway. It happened so quickly you couldn't understand what was going on. When your eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, you saw him, rough, handsome and very, very angry.
"Who the fuck are you?" The man asked, but all he got in response was a guttural growl. "Hey, man, I don't want any trouble. My girlfriend and I were just talking. Stay out of it." He grabbed you by the neck, dragging you away from Logan.
You seized the opportunity and wrestled out of his grasp by biting your assaulter's hand, dashing behind a bin.
"Ow! Fucking bitch!" He lunged at you, but Logan was quicker, piercing his claws through his shoulder and holding him in place.
"That's no way to talk to a lady." The mutant snarled, and you watched how his claws retracted before he punched the man in the face, effectively knocking him down.
He was the Wolverine. You had seen it all over the news, how he saved your universe, how he came from a different world. You couldn't believe he was the one helping you when you thought no one would save you in that moment.
"You alright, kid?" His raspy voice startled you and you barely nodded, still too shocked to move or speak. "You sure?"
You shook your head and tears rolled down your cheeks as you finally started to process what just happened. Logan scrunched his nose — comforting someone wasn't his strongest skill — and instead he picked up your bag and keys from the pavement.
"Shit, um, don't cry." He handed you your belongings, and you looked up at him with a frown.
How could you not cry when you saw your entire life flashing before your eyes? Logan swallowed a lump in his throat and offered his hand to help you stand up. You looked at his hand, reluctant to grab it. The only thing he could compare you with was a cat — cautious, yet curious.
"No claws." He said when he understood the meaning behind your eyes. "Come, I'll- um, I'll walk you home."
The invitation had you perk up and gain courage, and you quietly took the bag from his hand. He walked with you in complete silence, until you stopped in front of a building. You lingered, unwilling to go in. Logan asked if that was your place, and after you nodded, he offered to take you all the way to your apartment, which made you feel relieved. He could see it on your face when you sighed. You guided him up the stairs, constantly looking behind you to make sure he was there.
You stopped in front of a tall wooden door, keys in hand.
"Go on. I'll wait until you lock the door." Logan encouraged you.
"Can you stay?" You finally spoke, and your voice was sweet like honey, fitting for a baker.
"I don't know, kid-"
"Please." You looked at him with glossy eyes, pupils blown from the fear that hadn't left your body yet. The fear he could still smell.
"Yeah. Okay, I'll stay."
"Thank you."
Logan followed you in, and you flipped the light switch on before locking the door behind him. He looked around and, just as he expected, the apartment was a direct reflection of your bakery — clean, colourful and calm. There were recipes stuck to the walls with pink pins, and between them little paintings of sunsets, skies, flowers, cats. All things cute. They weren't framed, and so Logan figured they were hand-made, his assumptions confirmed by the easel in the corner of your living room.
Of course your sofa had to be colourful, too — mustard yellow with sage green cushions and blankets. Even your curtains were sage green. Despite the explosion of colours, Logan found himself enjoying being there. Not everything had to be brown, black and grey, he thought. Probably the only vibrant thing in his life was his suit, since the only people that brought colour were his friends, and they were gone.
"Drink?" You cracked the walls he put up around his heart with that sweet voice.
You shook a bottle of gin to get his attention and he nodded. Logan wasn't a fan of gin, but he didn't expect you to have any hard liquors. He watched you pull out two blue glasses from the kitchen cabinet, and of course they had to be funky, with white flowers on them.
"Where'd you get these?" He asked, swirling the drink in his hand.
"I made them. Kind of." You said. "Bought them from a charity store and painted the flowers. Do you want some tonic water?"
"Fuck no." Logan choked on his gin when you asked him that question. Simply being in a place so... colourful was enough. He didn't need a girly drink.
"I'm Y/N, by the way."
"I'm-"
"The Wolverine!" You cut him off a little too eager.
"-Logan. Call me Logan." He cringed when the beverage tickled his taste buds. It wasn't bitter enough for him.
"Logan. Thanks for tonight. Is there any way I can repay you?"
The question was riddled with innocence, but he couldn't stop the degenerate thoughts that popped in his mind when you asked him that. You were just so pure that he wanted to both protect you and ruin you.
"Don't mention it. I couldn't just walk past without doing anything." Logan lied, because, really, he wasn't just walking by, was he? No, it was downright stalking.
"I could bake something for you." You offered and he shook his head.
"I don't like sweets, kid."
"What?" You were baffled. "Everybody likes something sweet."
"Not me." He shrugged. "All I like is tiramisu and only if those biscuits are doused in coffee."
"Ladyfingers." You corrected him with a chuckle. "They're called ladyfingers."
"Bullshit."
"I'm serious! Here!" You rushed to your pantry and pulled out a whole box of them, showing Logan the name.
"That's just stupid." He shook his head. "Who calls them ladyfingers?"
"Uh, everyone?" You laughed at his surprise, and the thoughts of your bad evening slowly dissipated, like a bad dream.
Logan truly was clueless about baking, but spent hours listening to you talk about types of sugar, extracts and their uses, and the difference between baking soda and baking powder in cooking. You rambled on and on and not once did he get bored. He could listen to you talk for hours with your voice soothing. Logan thought about it, and he genuinely never met someone like you before. The women in his life were all so different, but you took the cake. You were special in ways he couldn't understand. And he was just so drawn to you.
"I'm sorry, I haven't stopped talking once!" You apologised, realising how safe you felt with him there. You would never let a stranger inside your house, let alone talk about baking while having gin. But Logan wasn't a stranger. Not after he saved you.
"'s alright. It's not every day I learn about baking." He chuckled, finishing his drink. "Listen, I should get going."
"Right." You sighed, eyes darting at the floor. "No, of course. I've kept you too long."
Logan got up and you walked with him to the hallway. He was slow to put his leather jacket on, as if he was waiting for you to say something, anything, but when you didn't, he unlocked the door and opened it.
"Hey, Logan?" You tugged at his sleeve, whispering so you wouldn't wake your neighbours. "Are you sure I can't bake you something? Not now, I mean. I really want you to try something besides tiramisu. And that way I can repay you."
"Hell, why not?" He shrugged.
"Great!" You beamed at him like a child on Christmas day. "Stop by my bakery tomorrow at twelve. It's on Granville Street."
"I thought you didn't work on Sundays."
"Oh, how'd you know?" You quirked a brow at him.
Caught red-handed.
"Educated guess."
"Fair enough." His answer satisfied you. "Be there or be square!"
Sleep was for the weak. All night, Logan tossed and turned and abused his poor pillow with with punches. The mere thought of seeing you, no, interacting with you, had him wriggle like a worm on the mattress. It didn't help that Wade instantly noticed something was up.
"Oh, my, did you shower, peanut?"
"Not today, Satan." Logan poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Mmm, and what do I smell?" Wade sniffed the air. "Wait, is that my perfume?"
"Forgot to pack mine when I swapped universes." The Wolverine barked back.
"Hah!" Blind Al chimed in from the living room. "I think tall, dark and handsome here has a date!"
Logan rolled his eyes while Wade pouted, plopping on the sofa next to Al.
"You never called me that."
"That's cause you’re a degenerate." The woman snorted.
"Takes one to know one, doesn't it- ow! Stop hitting me with your cane, I know where you hide your nose candy!" Wade fought back.
"Touch it and I'll bust a cap in your ass!" Al scoffed.
"And I'll regenerate."
Logan used the opportunity to slip into the hallway, but his roommate was quicker, and blocked the door.
"You're not going anywhere until we have the talk."
"The talk?" The Wolverine snorted.
"Ah, they grow up so fast." Wade told Al. "Now, son, when a man and a woman love each other-"
"I'll give you three seconds to fuck off."
"Oh, but I need to know everything! Who is he?"
"She." Logan rolled his eyes.
"Oh my god, is this you coming out to us? Al, he's straight! I promise we love you anyway." Wade went for a hug and all Logan could do was accept it. He learned to live with Wade, even though he dislocated his jaw a few times after he moved in.
"Alright, that's enough."
"Nooo, we're just getting started. Name? Age? Occupation? We could do a double date with Vanessa-"
"Absolutely fucking not." Logan pushed Wade off of him.
"Okay, okay. Just make sure you wrap your willy, and if you need any advice, daddy's here." Wade opened the door for his roommate.
"Actually." Logan lingered in the hallway. "What kind of flowers do girls like?"
The blinds to the bakery were closed but you were inside, pastries in the oven and dessert in the fridge. You couldn't help yourself and prepared something savoury as well, in case he didn't like the lemon cake. A knock on the door startled you, and you rushed to check who it was.
Logan stood there, a bouquet of peonies in his hand. You welcomed him in with a smile, but he could tell it was different than the one you flashed your customers. It seemed more genuine. And it felt like a date.
"These are for you." Logan handed you the flowers, taking in the scent of pork pies. "I thought you were gonna bake something sweet." He flared his nostrils.
"I did, I just thought I should have a plan B in case you didn't like my cake." You placed the bouquet in a vase on one of your tables. "How did you know I liked peonies?"
Logan couldn't believe Wade was right about those damn flowers. And there he was, thinking roses would be better. Maybe the Merc with a Mouth wasn't so bad after all.
"I had a hunch." He shrugged. 
"Well, Logan, I love them! Now sit, sit!" You ushered him to his seat. "I hope you're hungry, because there's a lot for you to try."
"A lot? I thought you'll make me a cupcake or somethin', bub."
"A cupcake?? Don't be silly." Just as you said that, the oven made a loud ding sound, and you turned on your heels, heading in the back.
Logan waited patiently, observing every little detail from the front of your bakery, from the spotless display shelves to the neatly organised paper bags, to the fairy lights around the window. It was obvious to him that you had put your mind, body and soul into this bakery, and his expectations were quite high after all the fuss you made. But he decided to be nice not matter how the food tasted. He couldn't bear seeing you upset if he didn't like what you made.
You reappeared with a tray in your hand, and on it two plates, one with a small pork pie, one with a croissant, and a cup of coffee. Hell, even the cutlery was cute, with swirls engraved on the handles of the fork, knife and teaspoon.
"I decided to leave the cake for last." You said, placing the tray in front of him. "This is a simple pork pie, start with that." You urged him. "Careful, it's hot."
The Wolverine struggled with the cutlery, too small for his large hands, and the brief thought of slashing the pie with his claws crossed his mind, but he decided to be civil. You watched him butcher the food, eager to see his reaction, but he was taking his time.
"I'll let it cool off a bit."
"Ooh, that's probably a good idea." You nodded.
"Aren't you having some?" Logan asked.
"Noo, no. I like to bake for others, not for myself."
"So what do you eat, then?" He sipped on the coffee.
"Instant noodles usually. I'm too tired to cook when I get home. I do occasionally have leftovers, but whatever isn't sold I take it to the local shelter." You explained.
Christ, you couldn't be any kinder. Logan was stunned by your beauty and your soul, which was why he decided that after today, he will stop any interaction with you. He couldn't ruin you, not with his lifestyle, not with the danger that followed him everywhere.
The only problem was that the conversation flowed naturally, and he felt safe with you, just as you did with him. Like you were the missing piece to his puzzle. Logan pushed away those thoughts and decided to try the food. He took a large mouthful of the pie, chewed and swallowed, and you waited expectantly.
"Shit."
"What? Is it bad?" You jumped from your seat.
"Fuck, this is the best pork pie I've ever had." Logan wiped his mouth with a tissue you provided. "I'm serious, kid. Did you put drugs in it?"
You laughed, shaking your head as he finished the rest of the pie. He truly seemed to enjoy it, and you felt so satisfied. But the real test came after.
"Pistachio croissant." You said. "I thought about making almond ones, but I figured pistachio wasn't that sweet."
"Right, let's see." Logan took a healthy bite out of the pastry, and lo and behold, he closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. If heaven had a taste, it would be that damned croissant.
"Is it good?"
"Good? Jesus, this is the best one yet." He finished the rest of it, the pistachio cream tickling his taste buds in all the right ways. "Who taught you to bake like this?"
"My grandma. She was the best cook I knew." You smiled.
Logan noticed your use of past tense, and he didn't want to bring up any bad memories. He wasn't the nosy type, but something possessed him to ask you about your life, your family, your favourite colours. He needed to know more about you, and you answered all his questions, opening up to him like a flower in bloom. But when it came to him talking about himself, Logan was reluctant.
Talking to Wade was easier, because Wade didn't take anything seriously, nor did he ask personal questions. Well, he did, but in his own stupid way that provided Logan some distraction, as well as a reason to punch him. But with you it was different. He felt like he owed you serious answers that he wasn't yet ready to tell a stranger who made a mean pistachio croissant.
"The cake!" You spun on the chair, changing the subject when you saw Logan dodging your questions like bullets.
Although he didn't say it, he was grateful that you didn't put any pressure on him to talk. He wasn't a talker. That was definitely Wade. You came back with the whole cake, and it looked so good that Logan didn't want you to cut it. Perfectly round, a layer of cream in the middle and white frosting on top. You even went so far as to decorate it with all kinds of yellow flower petals and what seemed to be mint leaves.
"Alright, hit me. What's this one called?"
"I call it the Mojito Cake. The sponge cake has lemon zest, the cream is made of lime, mint and rum syrup, and the frosting is buttercream with a dash of actual rum." You explained.
"Shit, I can't tell if that sounds disgusting or incredible."
"Only one way to find out." You cut him a thick slice, and Logan wasted no time trying it.
"I think you found yourself a new customer."
"You're too nice."
"I'm anything but nice, kid." He took three more spoonfuls. "But I ain't a liar. This is delicious." Logan spoke with his mouth full and it made you chuckle.
"Oh, there's a bit of frosting on your face."
"Hm?" He used the tissue to wipe his chin. "Did I get it?"
"No, it's still- here, I'll get it." You leaned forward and delicately ghosted your thumb over the corner of his mouth, eyes locked with his.
Without thinking about it, you dragged your tongue over the frosting, and Logan couldn't look away from you even if he wanted to. A gesture so innocent, but it destroyed any form of restraint. He pressed his lips onto yours, tasting the rum and the cream, but before you could kiss him back, he pulled away.
"Sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't have-"
You gave him no time to finish his sentence when you placed your hands on his shoulders and kissed him with fire on your tongue. God, he hated being touched, but when you did it, he melted in your hands. Lust battled reason and prevailed, and you found yourself straddling Logan's lap, arms around his neck and chest pressed against his.
His large hands found their way under your dress, fingers digging in the plush of your thighs until a moan escaped past your lips. Logan could've sworn you were pure in all ways — a virgin — so, naturally, he was surprised to see you eager to jump his adamantium bones.
With the last shred of reason left in you, you glanced at the door and window to make sure they were covered, and pushed Logan's jacket off his shoulders, peppering his neck with soft kisses. He wasn't the gentle type, no matter how hard he tried, and he didn't need to be when he felt your hips grind in his lap. It was more than obvious that you wanted him then and there.
Logan lifted you up as if you weighed nothing and slammed you down the empty table. His roughness sent a chill down your spine, because you really wanted him to manhandle you from the moment he stepped foot in your bakery. He kissed you again, pressing his whole against yours until your back hit the table. You felt like a cornered animal with nowhere to go, and the thrill of it turned you on.
"Are you sure you want this?" Logan asked despite you unbuckling his belt.
"I don't want this, I want you. I need you to fuck me so hard I can't walk." You unzipped his jeans, and although he was taken aback by your sudden use of filthy words, he couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing that side of you.
"Greedy little girl." Logan's hand slithered between your legs, fingers rubbing circles over your clothed clit. "Shit, you're soakin' wet. Can feel it through your fuckin' panties already." He flared his nostrils, taking in the scent of your arousal.
With his jeans loose around his waist, you palmed his cock through his boxers, and it didn't shock you for a second that he was rock hard. What did shock you, however, was the size of it. It was probably the biggest you've ever taken, and you didn't want any other man anymore.
You tugged at the waistband of his boxers, making it clear that you didn't want to waste any more time. Not that you didn't want to suck his dick or explore every inch of his body and worship it the way a man like him deserved it, but you were impatient.
Logan got the hint when you whined and scoffed, and he tore the pink panties off of you, tossing them on the floor. At least he had the decency not to put them on the table, which you were going to disinfect anyway. He pushed his boxers down, and you propped yourself on your elbows to look at him, and it was a sight for sore eyes indeed. He had perfectly sculpted abs, you could see them under the half-lifted t-shirt, but it was his cock that made your mouth water.
"Like what you see?" Logan was smug, confident in his good looks.
"I need to permanently imprint this image on my retina." You told him, and he couldn't help the chuckle.
"Likewise. Now spread 'em."
"Yessir!" You very quickly obeyed, parting your legs for him, and Logan couldn't deny that he enjoyed being in control.
He wasn't one to take orders, nor give them, but watching you comply scratched an itch he couldn't get rid of. Logan pressed the tip of his cock against your slick folds, earning another whine from you. You bucked your hips, craving more, and he scoffed.
"That desperate, hm?"
"You have no idea." You dug your manicured fingernails into his shoulders, bracing for temporary pain, because you knew damn well it would hurt.
"I don't know, I didn't hear you say please." Logan frowned, and you understood what game he was playing. A game you yearned to be part of.
"Oh, please, please, please fuck me, Logan! I'll be so good for you! I'll do anything you want." You clung to his shoulders, bringing yourself closer to him. "I'll even take it in any hole you want." You whispered, dragging your tongue over his lips.
"Shit." Logan was weak in the knees from your words, and the worst part was that he believed everything you said. But there was a time and place for everything.
You were the perfect mix of sweet and spicy, and you begged so nicely that the Wolverine just couldn't say no. You felt the leaking tip of his cock push past your folds and you audibly gasped at the size of it, drawing blood from his skin with your fingernails.
"It won't fit-" You whined with lust in your voice.
"I'll make it fit." Logan promised, painstakingly slowly thrusting into you.
He gave you time to adjust to his girth, constantly checking if you were alright, if you wanted him to carry on or stop, and while you loved that he was so caring, you needed him hurry up and fuck you.
To assure him that you would survive his monstrous cock, you planted a soft kiss on his nose, and there it was again, the change in your personality, from sultry to innocent. It was as though you embodied everything he ever wanted, and his desire to never contact you again went down the drain. How could Logan ever leave someone like you?
"I'm ready." You nodded, and he pressed his forehead onto yours, slowly rolling his hips.
You weren't ready, because it hurt like a bitch when he stretched out your velvety walls. But the pain was soon replaced by pleasure, and Logan picked up the pace when your whimpers turned to moans, and the slight frown on your face disappeared.
"So tight." He hummed, forehead resting against yours.
Were you tight, or was he just so incredibly big? Either way, you were a panting mess already, clinging to him for dear life, and Logan forgot his worries, even if it was just for that one moment. You were too good to be true, with your parted lips and glossy eyes — a beautiful sight for his sore eyes.
"Fuck, I- fuck!" You wrapped your legs around his waist, the table screeching under you. Not a single coherent sentence could come out of your mouth. "Logan, shit, I-"
"What's the matter? Need something?" He cooed, fingers bruising into your hips. "Use your big girl words."
"Need it ha-harder!" You cried out but he slowed down, confusion written all over your face.
"Where are your manners?"
"Please, daddy, please give it to me harder!"
The term of endearment had Logan quirk a brow at you, but he wasn't surprised in the slightest that you had a daddy kink. And he basked in being called that.
"Are you sure you can take it?"
"Yes!" There was no hesitation in your response. "Fuck, yes!"
Logan growled when he felt your pussy clench around his cock, and he delivered, thrusting deeper, harder and faster into you, until the sound of skin on skin echoed in the bakery, and your breathing became heavier.
"Fuuuuck, I can feel it in my gut!" You threw your head back when the tip of his cock brushed against your cervix.
"Filthy. Little. Slut." Each word came with a thrust and a groan, and he filled you up so good, you became addicted to him.
Your toes curled up, and your legs began to twitch when you felt your orgasm build up. Each push and pull made your vision blurry, and Logan's grip on you tightened as his hips stuttered. He was feral, and he was close, you could feel it in your bones.
"Fuck, Logan, do- oh- don't stop!" Words spilled from your mouth incoherently, and after a few more thrusts, pure bliss rushed through your body.
"That's it, let go." Logan buried his face in the crook of your neck, slamming hard into you until all you could do was chant his name like a prayer.
You felt him fill you up, pussy hot and sticky and sore, and he slowly pulled out, eyes darting at the tissues on the table. He grabbed them, gently cleaning you up, and you couldn’t stop the grin on your face. There was just something about a man like him be so gentle. And you were absolutely delighted to have him take care of you.
"You know," Logan said licking his lips, "I'm beginning to think you didn't want me to just taste your pastries."
"True." You told him smugly. "But you liked them."
"I like you more." He blurted out without thinking.
You felt your cheeks burn at his sudden honesty, and after sliding up your underwear and fixing your dress, you planted a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I like you too, honey badger."
"Don't ever call me that again." Logan chuckled.
"Not happening. Now, could you pleaaaase help me clean up this place? The last thing I need is a surprise hygiene inspection tomorrow."
He couldn't even imagine what the inspectors would do if they found out you had sex in a bakery, and with a nod, Logan zipped up his jeans and began disinfecting the tables and chairs while you swept the floor.
In less than half an hour you were done, and the shop was squeaky clean. You were satisfied with the end result, and told Logan that you wanted him to have the rest of the cake, pies and croissants. He thought Wade and Al could eat something, and decided to accept your offer.
"Can I come with you? There's quite a few boxes of food." You told him, a sheepish grin on your lips.
"Is that your way of finding out where I live?"
"Maybe. I'll go home if you don't want me with you."
"No, you're good." Logan assured you. "Besides, I'm sure my roommate's gonna devour everything. He'll probably lock you up in our apartment and force you to bake for him."
"I don't know if that's a threat or a promise." You laughed.
"Both. It's both."
You walked with Logan down the street, boxes in your arms, and you were surprised to see him open up to you more. He answered almost every question you had, and you felt him more relaxed. And he was. Logan forgot how much he needed that kind of connection with someone. You were so easy to talk to, you didn't judge him, and most importantly, you listened.
He guided you up the stairs to his apartment and knocked on the door, because he couldn't reach his keys with so many boxes in his arms. You baked for a damn army.
Wade opened the door, and you were taken aback by his appearance, but it didn't scare you. Instead, you introduced yourself as Logan's personal baker, earning a chuckle from him.
"Come on in, Martha Stewart." Wade opened the door enough for you to walk through it with the boxes and not drop them.
"Wade." Logan came back from the kitchen with a croissant. "Eat. Seriously, eat."
You watched Wade wolf down the pastry without hesitation and his eyes lit up. He chewed and swallowed, then moaned, eyes rolling back. The look of disgust on Logan's face was priceless.
"Holy fucking shit, Y/N, what the fuck did you put in this?" Wade grabbed your shoulders, giving them a good shake. "It's so flaky and creamy and buttery, like a bunch of unicorns came in my mouth."
"I'm glad you like it." You giggled. "Try the cake."
"There's cake?!" He ran to the kitchen, leaving you and Logan in the hallway before coming back, a slice of half-eaten cake in his hand. "I am officially impressed. Can you make Rocky Road?"
"Yes."
"Dulce de leche?"
"Yep."
"Baklava?"
"Uh-huh."
"Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte?"
"Yes, Wade!" You rolled your eyes, then turned to Logan. "Sugar rush?"
"Oh, you have no idea. And this is him on a good day."
"Listen, sweet cheeks, if old man fuckface here won’t marry you, I will. Just don’t tell Vanessa." Wade whispered.
"Don’t even think about it, you degenerate limp dick."
"Ugh, fine. And here I was hoping all four of us could be a happy dysfunctional family. Five if you count Al. Six with Colossus. Wait, actually, eight with-"
"Wade, have you tried the pork pies?" You asked, effectively shutting him up.
Yeah, Logan could definitely get used to being around you from now on to sweeten up his life.
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b0tster · 8 months
Text
WHELP. IT HAPPENED
Sony contacted me 🫣
Long story short I need to scrub the branding off of what was previously known as Bloodborne Kart, which we will do. But that requires a short delay.
Don't worry, the game is still coming out! It'll just look slightly different 💙
Like I've said in multiple interviews, we were all expecting this to happen so we could be pleasantly surprised if it didn't
It happened, so we're shifting gears (ha) to take care of it. I'll get back to y'all ASAP when we figured out a new release date!!
As much as I pushed for this to be "the meme made real" so to speak, turning this into an original game that we have full creative control over is kind of exciting. This is a fan game no more!
Regardless, thanks for understanding everyone!!
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