#i saw something somewhere which said this

[garciasgirl]

Secret Sunshine | spencer reid x reader ｡𖦹°‧

genre: fluff!!

summary: spencer and reader were childhood best friends, until spencer had to leave. spencer left reader when he went to college and they haven’t spoken in over ten years. one might, at a some random local bar garcia dragged the BAU too, spencer finds someone he wasn’t expecting to ever see again. his sunshine.

content: sunshine!reader, use of y/n, awkward!spencer, but he starts to get more confident slowly? idk, lighthearted teasing, spencer left her, spencer and reader are childhood best friends, nervous!spencer, nervous!readet, bubbly!reader, lots of longing for each other, super fluffy and cute, spencer struggles with being affected by his job, baker!reader

notes: guys this is my first time writing like this please im so so sorry if it’s bad!! pls don’t be mean i will cry

word count: 2.8k

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spencer didn’t often entertain the teams schemes of bringing him out to a club or bar. however, their last case in particular got to him. the details still fresh and relentless in his mind. a case involving children. cases were hard enough, but when it involved children, that came with a different feeling. A stronger one.

Spencer hated how much his job affected him. Especially when he looked at his team members, they never seemed to have any issue. Sure, the pictures could be gruesome and disturbing, which the team were affected by. But Spencer, it wasn’t just the pictures. It was guilt that came along with it. maybe the only downside to an eidetic memory. He could never take his mind off of anything. The cases, the victims, the guilt. What if he could’ve done better? What if he figured things out faster? Would he have saved those victims? Was this his fault? It was eating at him too much, maybe that’s why he agreed to garcia’s team bonding event at a local bar.

“having fun, genius?” Morgan’s familiar teasing tone suddenly appeared. no, he was not. but Penelope was right there, and he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he said anything of the sort in front of her. he settled on “sure, a blast.” spencer wasn’t usually one for sarcasm, but an occasional snippy response happened here and there. “come on, spence..loosen up!! we all are in need of a break.” jj sat down next to him, her smile was warm and her voice kind. the teams teasing was playful and light, it always was. but spencer did not need any more stress, and this environment was starting to feel a lot more overwhelming than expected. too loud, music playing and people shouting over it, too bright, light for every corner yet it was so dark. and way too many people. he just needed a break, just a couple seconds.

“im going to get a drink.” spencer muttered, standing up and making his way to the bar. “uh, just, a sprite please.” he never liked alcohol, spencer liked control. and alcohol came with uncontrollable chaos. spencer lingered at the bar for a couple minutes, at first it was a bit calming. there weren’t many people surrounding him, and the music wasn’t as loud over here. that was until a swarm of people came over to the bar, shouting and practically pushing spencer out of the way. he sighed, a bit annoyed, and grabbed his drink. he returned to the table filled with his coworkers, and sat back down. jj said something to him, he doesn’t respond. he means to, but he just can’t.. his attention was somewhere else. on someone else.

her. those brown curls that bounced with every step. the dimples, you hadn’t changed much since he last saw you. which was, the summer when you both were thirteen. your tan skin glistened under the lights, and the smile stretched onto your face was so familiar, he almost felt pulled to you. he knew he couldn’t go over to you, what if you didn’t remember? but, he could just…look, right?

“Reid? Hello…pretty boy?” Morgan snapped his fingers in Spencer’s face. Spencer shook his head slightly “huh..?” He muttered, not turning his attention away from you. he took a quick glance at morgan, his attention springing back to you almost instantly. Derek laughed at him, “welcome back man, what were you..”

he trails off, following Spencer’s eyes. a low whistle followed by some deep laughter. “well, look at that, pretty boys’s got himself a crush.” Spencer shook himself slightly and cleared his throat. Taking a sip from his drink. “Shut up morgan, I uh..” emily shook her head at him “don’t even try Reid, he is never letting this go.” She was right; but Spencer couldn’t bring himself to care much in that moment. You were in the center of his brain, and you were hard to shake.

He thought this couldn’t get any worse, any more awkward. the moment he noticed you, he felt overwhelmed with nostalgia. Even though he was scared that you would notice him, and how you would respond. he still felt a longing for you. a longing for the person he had considered his home, and the person that he was forced to leave when college came around. the shock from seeing you and the embarrassment from his team, which he knew was coming, was all to much. just enough to make his hand twitch and sweat, which in result, the drink in his hand spilled. not all the way, but just enough to cover the part of the table in front of him. as he scrambled to clean it up, his ears turning pink from his teams teasing, he heard that voice.

you weren’t even talking to him yet, you had walked in the bar with some unfamiliar faces. friends of yours, he assumed. the feelings of embarrassment and nostalgia were pushed down. and the pain of guilt flooded through his system. spencer didn’t mean to leave you. you were, well, everything to him. but college was important to him, and even more important to his mom. he couldn’t say no. losing you was heartbreaking, but you encouraging him to go, that buried him deep into the ground. you were just so kind, so caring. even though Spencer was the only person you ever truly trusted, you told him to move across the country because you wanted him to chase his dreams. he still felt guilty, he still felt like an absolute idiot. maybe it was the creepy staring from both spencer. Or maybe it was the equally creepy staring from his team. but eventually you turned around, and you had noticed him. you had seen Spencer. The man you have been dying to see again since the moment he left. you walked over to him, not meaning to leave your friends behind, but doing it anyway.

“Spencer Reid? that cannot be you!” A warm voice flooded the area Spencer and his team were currently occupying. “y/n, uh..hi..!” He mumbled awkwardly, the teams glance stuck on Spencer, except for morgan, of course. Who was busy ogling over y/n. He did that with every pretty girl, but, y/n was different. Spencer didn’t understand the feelings arising, but he knew he didn’t want morgan looking at you like that for any longer.

laughter, soft and feminine broke out. “Spence, really? We’ve known each other for what? Over ten years? Don’t be so awkward!!” y/n spoke directly towards Spencer, not even acknowledging the rest of his team yet. Morgan nudged Spencer with his shoulder. “Pretty boy, ten years!! You’ve known this gorgeous lady for over ten years and you’re acting like a high school boy?”

“Shut up- morgan! I, I just didn’t expect to see her, okay?” Spencer responded, his voice unsure, which wasn’t common. “You didn’t expect to see me? Seriously spence, am I that forgettable?” You teased lightly. Not in a mean way, but in the childish way you had done all those years ago. “Wait, years? Oh you have some explaining to do!!” Garcias chirpy voice sounded out. The rest of the team, agreeing in hums and yeahs.

“right..” he cleared his throat, again. “Guys, this is y/n, she is, was, a good friend of mine.” despite the sting from his words, y/n smiled politely at everyone, “hi, it’s so nice to meet you all!” you were ushered to sit, by penelope, and you complied, taking the seat next to Spencer. you, feeling uneasy about all of the new faces, stared down at your feet. Spencer watched you, his eyes not ever leaving you. Not even for a second. His eyes were trained on you confidently, but spencer was nervous. His face was flushed, even though it was barely noticeable under the fluorescent bar lights. The team all watched the two of you with knowing eyes, their reactions pleasant to seeing their genius yet awkward Dr. Spencer Reid having such a connection. Morgan seemed the most amused, giving Spencer a playful slap on the back “my man!!” He joked before walking off with penelope.

Spencer had laughed at Derek slightly, but stopped when his eyes finally lingered over you again. he looked at you deeply, his eyes caressing over your features, he couldn’t believed how different you looked. but in a way, you looked the exact same. your hair was just as curly, your eyes bright with that same spark you held when you were young. even though you looked a little different, you still felt the same to spencer. like warmth, like home. spencer must’ve been staring for too long because you had noticed, giving him a small smile, biting her lip hesitatingly before saying.

“hi..sorry for, intruding.” you whispered, a soft, but apologetic smile on your face. for the first time during this entire conversation, spencer smiled. This was a good sign, you believed. At first, when you had sat down, you felt the nerves rush over you. It had been a long time, and even though Spencer was the one who had left. You felt worried that maybe, he wasn’t as fond that you returned as he made it seem. You wanted him to still care about you, and you were worried that the love he had for you may have faded over the years.

“hey, don’t be sorry. im glad to see you.” you had calmed down slightly at his words, spencer wasn’t one to lie unless completely necessary. So you trusted he was being truthful with his words. Even if he wasn’t, to hear them was so enticing, you just wanted him to talk on and on. About whatever, his voice and his words were all you wanted to hear anyway.

Spencer hadn’t realized how much he missed that, the simplicity of it. When life had been so cruel, you had been his escape, a source of light in a house full of shadows. ‘Sunshine,’ he used to call you, but now it felt more like a warning. Maybe, just maybe, you were the one thing that could make him feel like himself again.

And that voice, spencer swears he could hear that voice forever and never get bored. he would dream about you, often. your appearance was vivid, but as the years passed, the familiarity of your voice started to fade. when he finally heard it again, it was like heaven. you always spoke so beautifully. it was purely angelic. everything about you was an angelic. and was spencer glad that you were finally back in front of him, and not just in his dreams.

the smile on your face turned brighter, you took a sip out of your drink. “so..it’s been a while.” You comment, not sure how to start a conversation when the two of you haven’t talk for over 10 years. “sure has, sunshine.”

sunshine. that nickname, spencer used to call you that all the time. he said you were like his own personal piece of sunshine. quite poetic for a thirteen year old boy, but then again, it was spencer. warmth flooded into your cheeks, a soft look of joy and nostalgia filling her eyes.

spencer looked different, his hair was longer, and he looked a lot more mature. even though his outward appearance had changed, spencer was still spencer, and you liked that. when the rest of the team, who had been lingering, dispersed amongst the bar, spencer calmed down.

“what are you doing here anyway, not that im not happy you’re here, but..” you laughed softly and shook your head. “I just started working a new job here, speaking of jobs, you’re finally the fbi agent you dreamed of being!!” you said accidentally, putting a gentle hand on his arm. “im proud of you, spence.” his eyes softened, his other hand placed on top of yours. he gave it a quick squeeze. “thank you, sunshine.” the quick squeeze, the comfort that came with it was almost breaktaking. you hadn’t felt the calmness that spencer’s touch brought in years. feeling it, was almost overwhelming. even though spencer was the one who had initiated the sudden touch, he still felt the warmth flood through him. your hand, even just the simplest connection had almost knocked the wind out of him.

spencer wasn’t sure why he felt so comfortable. After all, you two haven’t seen each other in years. and, as cliche as it might sound, it feels like you two never parted ways. you were always his comfort, a home, in a way. between his absent father, schizophrenic mother, and the torment he suffered in school from his peers, you were always the person he went to. you were his little piece of sunshine. and now that he’s an fbi agent dealing with his own personal demons, maybe that sunshine is just what he needs?

Spencer shakes himself from this thoughts, turning to face you more. he hasn’t take his hand off of yours, and you haven’t made any move to retract your hand. so he keeps it there, resting gently on top of yours. it’s relaxing. Spencer realizes he hasn’t said much so he makes small talk. “new job, you said? what kind of job?” he asks, looking at you. his eyes flickering from your eyes to your lips. you smile, brightly. a sense of pride shining through. “a bakery!! you know I used to talk about owning one all time!!” spencer does know. you were an amazing baker, and the way you gushed and smiled over your job, almost made spencer feel giddy inside. he grins, a boyish and familiar sight.

“y/n, that’s amazing!! you truly are the best baker I’ve ever known.” you laugh, giving him a serious nod. “oh you bet I am!! so, back to you. big shot fbi agent, hm?” spencer dulls just slightly. but, of course, you notice. you’re about to spill out a string of apologies for even bringing it up but Spencer stops you before you even get the words out. “don’t apologize, it’s just hard. all the..victims, and cases. I used to think I was helping people. But now, it’s almost like im just losing myself more and more.”

your eyes get sad, a sympathetic look on your face. you know Spencer hates being pitied, but you couldn’t help it. “you are helping people. you always have spencer, that’s just the kind of you person you are! but trust me, we all get overwhelmed and we all get lost in things we don’t want to. im here, yeah?” you comfort him with your words, it was always something you were perfect at. you could always solve all of his problems, even for just a moment, with your words.

spencer looks deep in your eyes, for just a moment. “you haven’t changed at all, you know that, sunshine?” he mutters, his voice deep and gravely. you shiver at his tone. you couldn’t say the same for him. “you are completely different, did you know that?” he chuckles, his loose hold on your hand becoming just a bit firmer, his thumb rubbing lazily against the back of your hand. teenage spencer was your everything, but this new, more mature side of him? oh, you could get used to it.

you stir your drink with the straw, looking at him, lingering a bit too long. he was captivating, you felt drawn in by his presence. You weren’t sure if it was the slight buzz from the alcohol, or the adrenaline from seeing him, but you could not take your eyes off of him. obviously, Spencer had noticed. he laughed, the deep noise rumbling in your ears. “Careful there, sunshine. you keep looking at me like that..I might just start thinking im interesting.”

you laugh, Spencer always made you laugh. In every situation, every scenario. “Well we can’t have you grow an ego can we?” You nudge his chest playfully with your hand. Spencer is slightly stunned by the sudden and unexpected touch, but he raises an eyebrow and gives a slow nod.

“I don’t think I can help it..” you mutter.

“Help what?” He questions, looking down at you, his voice low.

“Staring at you.” You say, playing with you drink, a ghost of a smile playing on your lips.

“Good, I didn’t want you to stop anyway.” He plays along, getting bolder as the minutes pass.

you blushed at his words, spencer used to be a shy and awkward boy, and some of that old personality had shown through tonight. but right now, when it was just you and him. spencer was confident, and it was different. a good different. it made you never want to leave him again.

but It was staring to get late, and even though you both didn’t want to. You knew that this was going to have to end soon. But Spencer was determined, he wasn’t letting you go. Not again, not ever. He wouldn’t let it happen.

As the night began to wind down, you glanced at your phone, realizing how late it had gotten. You stood, your chair scraping softly against the floor. “I should probably head out,” you said, a hint of reluctance in your voice.

Spencer stood with you, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. He didn’t want the night to end, not yet.

As you reached for your bag, Spencer hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, his hand brushing lightly against yours. The contact made you pause, your eyes meeting his.

“Y/N…” His voice was quiet but firm, his usual nervousness softened by something deeper. “I don’t want to wait another ten years to see you again.”

The sincerity in his words made your chest tighten. You smiled, warmth flooding your features as you reached up and gently pushed a strand of his longer hair out of his face. “You won’t have to, Spence,” you said softly.

For a moment, it was just the two of you, the noise of the bar fading into the background. Spencer’s lips curled into a rare, boyish grin, the kind you hadn’t seen in years, as you slipped your hand into his.

It wasn’t a grand gesture, but it didn’t need to be. As the two of you walked toward the exit together, his hand still resting in yours, it felt like the first step toward something you’d both been waiting for, even if neither of you realized it until now.

And for Spencer, for the first time in years, the world felt just a little brighter.

[shivunin]

Honey and Lavender

In which Lucanis grapples with his feelings for Rook after their near-kiss in his bedroom (AO3 Link)

(Rook Ingellvar/Lucanis | 3,586 Words | No CW, romance progression spoilers)

“Who has seen the wind? Neither I nor you: But when the leaves hang trembling, The wind is passing through.” —Christina Rossetti, “Who Has Seen the Wind?”

No matter what he’d told Rook, stepping out of the dining room did not help Lucanis clear his head. No matter where he stood, it would always be too loud, too cramped. 

“Go back,” Spite snapped. 

Lucanis wrapped his hands around the wood railing and squeezed, trying to shake the sensation of Rook’s breath on his cheek. She had been so very close—close enough to breathe her in, to feel the brush of her clothing against his. Close enough to touch, though he had not done so.

“No,” he said. 

Spite loomed in his peripheral vision, his face pinched. 

“No,” Lucanis repeated, his grip tightening until the uneven wood pressed hard into his palms. “We have to stay focused. Getting attached without—no. No, it is a poor idea.”

“Liar,” Spite spat. “Make up your own reasons later. I want to touch her. Go inside.”

The demon’s grip tightened, like a fist around the base of his neck. Lucanis gritted his teeth and pushed back. Waking from sleep to find himself already standing, the taste of strange words on his tongue, had become all too familiar. 

Rook’s presence when he woke was also not unfamiliar. He wished he knew how to feel about that. 

That was, in the end, the problem: he didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know which of them wanted Rook, or for what. When he thought of setting his hand on her shoulder, was that his or Spite’s? When he imagined how her bare hands would feel on his face, was that something Spite wanted, for reasons beyond Lucanis’s understanding? Or worse, was it the remnants of infiltration training he’d rarely cared to use?

How could he hope to understand when Spite would not stop saying that?

“I said no,” Lucanis told him. “She isn’t for touching. She is—”

A what? A client? A friend? An associate, he had called her when Teia had flirted with her, and realized too late that she’d only done it to prod him. Rook was none of those things; she defied easy categorization. Rook was a threat when threatened, a friend when friendship was offered, a leader when leadership was called for, his voice of reason when it seemed easiest to believe the worst of himself…

Rook was important. He would never pretend otherwise. It didn’t make any of this less of a distraction. 

“She wanted to touch. You wanted to. I felt it,” Spite said, and Lucanis felt the demon’s grip tighten at the base of his neck. He gritted his teeth against the pressure and tightened his grip on the railing. 

“It does not matter what I want,” he said, and with some force pushed the demon further away from his mind again. 

Alone for a moment, Lucanis pressed his knuckles to the trickle of blood that already dripped from his nose. 

She is not for touching, he’d told Spite. 

He wished he knew if he believed it. 

|

Lucanis would have been lying if he’d said he wasn’t watching Rook more closely in the aftermath of the near-kiss, but such a lie would have been pointless. Spite saw everything he did and nobody else seemed willing to ask about it. Who would he have lied to? 

At first, he might have thought there was no change in her behavior. She still followed her general routine, sparring and cooking and seeking ways to fight the gods. She still took him with her when she and Neve hunted Venatori in Minrathous and still joked with him when they were around the others. When he walked unsleeping in the rotunda, he could still hear the haunting strains of her violin from the meditation room. 

There should not be any difference, yet he would have sworn that something was amiss. Rook was more prone than usual to drifting silence, gaze fastened somewhere in the distance, a frown furrowing her brow. It wasn’t until several days later that he overheard her speaking to Neve and put the pieces together. 

“Hey, there. Something bothering you?” Neve asked. The door to the dining room creaked shut. “You haven’t seemed like yourself these past few days.”

There was a long silence, which Lucanis disregarded. Whoever she spoke to, it was not his current concern. He needed to prepare for—

“Do you think people are capable of changing?” Rook asked.

Lucanis, who’d been in the middle of a long series of stretches, paused and listened. 

“Rook!” Spite said. 

Lucanis resisted the urge to tell him to be quieter; nobody would hear the demon but him. 

“What sort of change do you mean?” 

Soft sounds, liquid pouring (“Eugh—smells like burned coffee,” Spite muttered, and Lucanis could not blame him), and a quiet sigh. Lucanis slipped silently to the door and stood very still just before the threshold.

“Because,” Neve went on, “I have a hard time believing some people can change. You know, lifetime of power and murder makes it a little hard to start thinking that other people matter, for example. But if you’re talking about, say, learning to like a new food? I’d say yes.”

Rook laughed slightly. Something scraped—a chair pulling away from the table. When she spoke again, her voice was much quieter. Lucanis had to strain to hear her. 

“I mean—do you think we’re doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again forever?” 

A pause. Footsteps—Neve’s. 

“I’ve got a lot of experience in being where I’m not wanted,” Rook went on. “I mean, it’s sort of what has to be done when it comes to our current situation. But even before that, I was used to people—I mean people I cared about—I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m asking, I suppose.”

“No, go on,” Neve said, and a second chair scraped over stone. 

“You’re a detective,” Rook began, and paused. 

“I am, yes.”

“How do you know when you’re putting clues together and when you’re reading into something that isn’t there.” 

Spite hissed.

“Ah,” the syllable carried a heavy weight. 

Lucanis braced his hand against the wall and bent forward, anchoring himself to the sensation of solid stone against his fingertips. Something that isn’t there. She could mean anything. He wasn’t willing to try to fool himself into thinking she meant anything other than whatever was happening between the two of them. 

“I lay out the facts,” Neve said at last. “Clear as I can. What was actually done, what was actually said, what I know about the situation as a whole. I write it all down together, get everything I know in one place.”

Someone sipped from their cup. The hearth on the other side of his wall crackled faintly—almost time to add a log. He did not think he would do so while they were still talking. 

“Right,” Rook said at last. “Right. That makes sense.”

“I try to stay out of my head about it,” Neve went on, voice lowered. “Easy way to get distracted from the facts. That’s when you get into trouble.”

“Out of my head,” Rook repeated. “It sounds good in theory, but I’m not sure how I would achieve something like that.”

Neve laughed. 

“Sounds about right,” she said. A chair scraped across the floor again. “But if you want my opinion? Just between the two of us?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not imagining it.” 

Soft footsteps—Neve’s—and the creak of the door. Slowly, it creaked closed again. In the other room, Rook sighed and pushed her chair away from the table. Her footsteps were quiet—barefoot again, even after she’d scraped her foot on the wooden steps to Davrin’s room last week. They hardly grew louder when she approached his room. 

Lucanis, still leaning against the wall, curled his hand into a loose fist and tried to decide if it was worth pretending he’d been doing something else. Maybe he would resolve this instead, make it clear he’d heard her. That he thought…

What did he think? 

That he’d only really slept once since they’d almost kissed and he’d dreamt of pressing her back against this wall and tasting her? That he had been wondering what her hair might feel like caught between his fingers? That Spite talked over everyone but her, that his fascination with her had probably been sparked by Lucanis’s? That he was no longer entirely convinced that he felt like this only because of Spite?

That it had only occurred to him to want to do this once before and it had been a disaster?

His door creaked slightly, as if Rook’s hand rested upon it. This close, he could hear the soft intake of her breath. She was only a few inches away—less than a foot. He could open the door himself. He could tell her…

The door rattled slightly as the pressure on it released, followed by a soft sigh and footsteps moving away. 

“She’s walking away,” Spite snapped, surging for the door. 

Lucanis reached for the handle before he caught himself, violet sparks burning in the corners of his eyes. He shook his head and stepped back slowly, deliberately. His hand stretched forward against his will, grasping for something it could not reach.

“Let me talk to Rook,” Spite went on, as he so often did. “Open the door.”

Rigidly, Lucanis walked back to his cot and sat, wrapping one hand tightly around the other. In the next room, the door swung open and closed again. 

“She’s leaving. Now!” Spite said, seizing his hands. 

The demon warred with him for control. Lucanis pushed him away, but the effort took several minutes and left him exhausted. Temporarily alone, he pressed a hand to his face and took several long, slow breaths. 

If he could touch her without touching her—if there were some way to make his feelings clear while holding her at a safe distance…

Unbidden, he remembered the way she’d smiled at him that first time in the cafe. Surprised, cheeks slightly flushed; he had not had her measure then. He was not entirely sure he had it now, for she spoke so little about herself. But she had smiled at him and said—

That was it. 

Lucanis stood, remembering precisely which set of stretches he’d left off on before the conversation in the other room. He had a plan now. Now, he had only to wait for the right time to set it in motion. 

|

“Do you think Harding believed you?” Lucanis asked from the other side of the fireplace. 

Rook, midway through dumping her pile of vegetables into the stewpot, glanced at him. 

“About the letter from her mum? ‘Course she did. There was an actual letter.”

“Oh?” he lifted a brow and angled his head to the side. The firelight traced the lines of his face the way she would’ve liked to, painting dark hollows under his eyes and limning the angle of his nose and cheekbones with gold. He was just so—

Shouldn’t be watching him like this. It’d been days since they’d almost kissed. She’d been strong. Focused. Had kept things aboveboard and friendly, no matter how much she wanted to ask him…

What? What could she say, really? How’s your head feeling these days? Pretty clear? No, that was silly. There was too much else to be worrying about to worry about whatever was between—whatever she’d imagined was between them. 

“You’re not imagining it,” Neve had told her, but it felt awfully dangerous to believe her. The consequences for believing her and being wrong would be far worse than she could handle right now. Worse than all of them could handle, if she was being honest. More than anything, it was her responsibility to make sure that they all held together. There was no room for her to make a mistake that big over her own feelings. 

“Well, I remembered it was Lace’s turn to cook,” she told him, focusing on the cutting board with far more attention than was warranted, “and Davrin may have mentioned something about an alarming amount of cheese earlier…”

“It was for a cheese soup, I believe,” Lucanis agreed, and his hands moved in her periphery. Taking another sip of coffee, presumably. She suspected it was a proportionately significant component of his blood content at this point. She wasn’t going to watch the way his lips moved when he pressed them to the rim of the cup. 

“You can’t be serious,” she said, though she knew he was. Lace had been most of the way through grating a block of cheese when Rook had walked in. 

“You don’t think her capable of it?” 

Rook laughed at that, settled the lid on the pot, and turned away again. There was half a block of grated cheese to do something with now—a troubling thought, since none of the rest of them were Fereldan and thus did not share the scout’s love of cheese. Maybe she’d just set it aside and Bellara would make khachapuri again. 

“Well, in any case,” she went on. “The letter came in a little earlier. I may have waited until she’d started cooking to let her know.”

“Devious.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to say so.”

She tapped her hips, surveying the available ingredients before selecting a likely-looking loaf of bread. Lucanis shifted in her periphery. Despite herself, she looked at him. He’d pressed a hand to his face, forefinger and thumb pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Spite?” she asked, and he nodded. “He want to say anything in particular or is he just hungry, too?” 

The muscle in his jaw twitched. Slowly, deliberately, he set his mug on the table beside him. 

“It is nothing worth sharing. I will brew more coffee. Would you like some?” 

What could she say? Pity would shame him and sympathy was hardly better. She sometimes wished she had Emmrich’s talent for hearing spirits. Perhaps if she could address both of them at once…but no. Maybe letting him do something for her would help. He seemed comforted by taking care of the people around him in that way.

“If you’re making it.”

“Sweet with cream, yes?” he said. 

The soft sounds of metal and glass to her left told her he’d already begun. Could he see her smiling? Surely not. She’d turned her head enough that she wouldn’t be caught. 

“You remembered.”

“How could I forget?” he said. 

She laughed. He didn’t, but Rook was distracted enough in retrieving the bread knife that she hardly noticed. Water bubbled in the kettle and was poured into Lucanis’s coffeemaker. The fire crackled between them, its sound like a warm blanket over her shoulders. All at once, for no apparent reason, she felt—well, it was strange, but she could almost say she felt a sense of belonging, of rightness, like she was meant to be here at this moment with him. Her hand stilled on the knife, as if moving too much would dispel the sensation.

Had she ever felt like this before? Like she belonged anywhere that wasn’t the Necropolis? Maybe it didn’t matter if he wanted her or not. Maybe it was enough just to be near him, to know that he cared. Maybe it was enough to be in a place where people cared about her and told her so, where she cared enough to cook for them and worry about who would eat what. 

A place where somebody remembered how she liked her coffee. 

“Rook?” Lucanis asked, abruptly beside her. 

“Sorry,” she said, straightening. “Did you say something? I was…lost in thought.”

Whenever he looked at her, she had the odd feeling that he was reading something far deeper than her skin. She often wondered how much he saw, how much he understood without ever asking. 

“Your coffee,” he said at last, and held out one of the delicate coffee cups that’d appeared in the kitchen shortly after his arrival. 

Rook took it, still trying to cling to that feeling of comfort. His hand lingered on the mug, brushing against hers. His skin was warm, unexpectedly so. She wished that she could linger in the heat of it, but perhaps the warmth of the mug could satisfy that want instead. 

“Thank you. You make the best coffee—but I’m sure you know that.” 

“Nobody else here has the experience,” he agreed, and drank from his own cup. 

Lenore blew across the surface of hers and took a sip, wary of the heat. Lucanis seemed less sensitive to it than she was and she’d burned her tongue on his coffee more than once. Caution had made her careful. 

There had been no reason for her caution; this was the perfect cup of coffee. It was slightly cooler than boiling, perfectly sweet (though it was a warm sweetness that could not have come from sugar), and tasted faintly of…what was that? She closed her eyes and drank more deeply, trying to name the flavor. 

Coffee, honey, cream, and…something floral. 

Lavender! That was lavender. Oh. 

Honey and lavender cream, sweet and intriguing, he’d said at Cafe Pietra. Like a first kiss. 

When she opened her eyes again, Lucanis was still watching her, index finger tracing the whorl in the ceramic cup he still held. Two steps away—that was all. Such a small distance. She could have closed it so very easily.

“Honey and lavender cream,” she said. Her breath seemed to have deserted her; the words came out in a whisper, so quiet that someone standing on the other side of the hearth would not have heard them. 

His eyes were—she never stopped thinking about them, but they seemed especially deep, especially fathomless in that moment. She wanted to touch his face, to trace the dark lines of his beard, to cup the angle of his cheekbone. She wanted to watch his eyes change when she kissed him, wanted to know if that self-contained focus of his would dissolve or sharpen in response. 

“I can make you something else if you would prefer,” he said. His voice was as quiet as hers had been, but so gentle it hurt her heart to hear. 

“This is perfect,” she said. She drank again while he watched. The coffee was just as sweet and luscious and strange the second time. She’d never tasted anything like it. 

“Perfect,” she repeated. “The best I’ve ever had, I think. Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure,” he said. 

She wondered if Lucanis would turn away and break the moment, but he did not. He stood very still and watched her instead, his own mug cupped in his hands. 

I lay out the facts, Neve had told her. Get everything I know in one place. 

Maybe they were both working on too little information. Maybe the only way to fix that was to put all the facts in one place. 

“What are you thinking?” she asked impulsively, clutching her own mug in mirror to him. Lucanis angled his head, longer strands of hair slowly drifting over his shoulder. 

“I am thinking,” he said at last, “that it may be a poor substitute for the alternative.”

A slow breath. Her heart raced on anyway, refusing to be calmed. The coffee warmed her cool hands and the taste of lavender and honey still lingered on her tongue. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” Lenore told him. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I told you it’s been a very long time, and even then I wasn’t any good at it. If this is something you—something you want…I’m not in any rush.”

A ridiculous thing to say, considering the forces arrayed against them and the tight timeline they were always working under. It didn’t feel ridiculous, though. It felt right, in the way that cooking in the same room as him had felt right. Facing the idea of some sort of romance head-on made her feel faintly ill, as if looking down on the world from some great height. But this? It might be roundabout and oblique, but it felt good anyway. 

Lucanis opened his mouth to answer, but the door to the dining room opened and Bellara rushed in. 

“Is it my turn to make dinner? I can’t remember where my copy of the list went. I think it might have gotten stuck under something again. Hi, Rook!” 

“Bellara,” Rook said. “No, you’re fine. It was Harding’s turn, but I took over for her. If you don’t mind, I’m running a little behind. Could you slice the bread while I finish with these?”

“Sure!” Bellara said, slipping between Rook and Lucanis. The latter set his cup on the table and returned to the hearth. 

“I will keep this from burning,” Lucanis said, lifting the pot lid and looking inside.

It already is, Rook thought, for there was heat from her cheeks to the tips of her ears. She said nothing aloud, but took one more sip from her mug before setting it aside. 

As first kisses went, it was certainly better than her last one, and given with a great deal more care and attention. I don’t think you’re imagining it, Neve had told her. Lenore had to agree. This—whatever it was, whatever it would become—was entirely real. 

“What are you humming, Rook?” Bellara asked a moment later. 

Rook, who hadn’t realized she was humming at all, smiled. 

“I don’t think it has a name yet,” she said, “but I’m working on it.”

[wondergirlsthings]

Love at First Sight: Jude Bellingham’s Journey to Finding and Connecting with Reader. Part²

Jude Bellingham x Reader

Part¹

The match had ended hours ago, yet Jude Bellingham still found himself thinking about you. He replayed the fleeting moment when your eyes met in the stands, the way you had smiled—so effortless, so genuine. It was maddening, the pull you had on him without even knowing it.

Back at the training center, he couldn’t concentrate. His teammates noticed something was off. Even his usual banter with Eduardo Camavinga was half-hearted. Finally, after a long pause during lunch, Jude leaned back in his chair and sighed.

“You alright, mate?” Camavinga asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, just…” Jude hesitated before running a hand through his hair. “There was this girl at the match yesterday.”

“Ah, I see,” Camavinga said, smirking. “The one from the stands? I noticed you kept glancing up.”

Jude’s cheeks flushed slightly, but he didn’t deny it. “I don’t know who she is, but I have to find her.”

Camavinga laughed. “You sound like a guy in a rom-com. What’s your plan? Just announce it on Instagram?”

Jude rolled his eyes, but the idea stuck. Later that day, he posted a photo of himself from the game with a cryptic caption: "Sometimes, the most important moments happen off the pitch." His followers flooded the comments, speculating wildly about its meaning, but none of it brought him closer to you.

It wasn’t until two days later, during an event at the club’s headquarters, that fate finally intervened. Jude had been reluctantly attending a fan meet-and-greet when he caught sight of a familiar face in the crowd. It was you, standing near the back of the room, chatting with a friend.

His heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he froze. Was this real? After all his wondering, after all the what-ifs, there you were, looking just as captivating as you had in the stands.

He didn’t think twice. Excusing himself from the group he was with, he made his way through the room, his pulse quickening with every step. When he reached you, you turned, clearly surprised to see him standing there.

“Hi,” he said, his voice slightly breathless. “This might sound strange, but…I saw you at the match the other night.”

You blinked, stunned, before a small smile crept onto your lips. “I remember. You were staring at me.”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Guilty. I don’t normally do this, but I couldn’t get you out of my head. I had to find you.”

Your cheeks flushed, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to fade away. “Well, here I am,” you said softly.

Jude smiled, his confidence returning. “Yeah, and I’m not about to let you disappear again. Can I take you out sometime? Maybe somewhere less… crowded?”

You nodded, your heart fluttering. “I’d like that.”

In that moment, Jude knew this wasn’t just a chance encounter—it was the start of something special.

----------------------------------------------

The evening arrived sooner than expected. After that initial meeting, Jude couldn’t stop thinking about you. He was used to getting attention, used to the constant buzz of people around him, but something about you felt different. It wasn’t just the way you looked—it was your confidence, the way you carried yourself, and the ease with which you spoke. You weren’t fazed by his fame, and it was refreshing.

True to his word, Jude planned something quiet for your first official hangout: a cozy dinner at a discreet restaurant tucked away in the heart of Madrid. He was taking no chances—he wanted to get to know you, not just be another name on your contact list.

When he arrived at the restaurant, you were already there, sitting at a corner table, the soft light from the candles illuminating your face. You were even more beautiful in person, something that took Jude by surprise. The connection he’d felt before was there again, stronger this time.

“Hey,” he greeted you, his voice warm with a hint of nervousness, though he tried to hide it.

You smiled up at him, and his heart skipped a beat. “Hey, Jude. You look nice.”

“Thanks, you too.” He slid into the chair across from you, the moment feeling a little surreal.

You both fell into easy conversation, the initial awkwardness of meeting again quickly fading away. You talked about everything—what you did for fun, your favorite places in Madrid, and even your mutual love for football. Jude was struck by how down-to-earth you were. You weren’t asking for autographs or obsessing over his career; you were just... normal.

As the night went on, the atmosphere between the two of you became lighter, more playful. Jude laughed easily, something he didn’t always do in public. You were funny, sarcastic, and sharp-witted, always keeping him on his toes.

The waiter brought over dessert—chocolate mousse—and you raised an eyebrow.

“This looks dangerous,” you said, teasing him.

Jude grinned, leaning back in his chair. “What’s life without a little danger?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got a sweet tooth, so I’m not complaining,” you said, taking a spoonful of mousse.

Jude watched you for a moment, his eyes softening. “I’m glad you agreed to come out tonight.”

You shrugged nonchalantly, but there was a warmth in your eyes. “I’m glad you found me, actually. It’s not every day a footballer tracks you down in front of thousands of people.”

Jude laughed at that, but his gaze stayed fixed on you. “I know. I wasn’t sure if you’d think I was crazy, honestly.”

“Well, you kind of are,” you said, grinning, “but that’s part of your charm.”

“Charming, huh?” He raised an eyebrow. “What else have you noticed about me?”

You took a sip of your drink, eyeing him playfully. “You’re humble, for one. I thought you’d be all arrogant, but you’re nothing like I expected.”

“Good to know I’m living up to my reputation,” he said with a smirk, though inside, he was relieved.

The rest of the evening flew by in a blur of laughter and genuine conversation. There was no pretension, no awkward silences. It was just you and him, two people who had somehow ended up in the same place at the right time.

When the night wound down, Jude offered to walk you back to your apartment.

“You sure?” you asked as you stood outside the restaurant, the cool night air wrapping around you both.

“I’m not letting you walk alone,” he said, looking at you with that soft intensity you had come to recognize.

The walk was quiet at first, but comfortable. Every now and then, your hands would brush, and Jude couldn’t help but notice the electric spark that shot through him each time.

“So,” you said, breaking the silence, “what’s the plan now?”

He paused, considering it for a moment. “I don’t know. Maybe… a movie night? But no football documentaries, I promise.”

You laughed. “Good. You’re already a footballer. I think I can handle a break from the football talk.”

You reached your apartment building, and Jude stopped in front of the door, unsure if he should make the next move.

“Well, this is me,” you said, glancing up at him. “I had a really good time tonight, Jude.”

“Me too.” He stepped closer, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with a quiet confidence. “Can I see you again?”

You smiled up at him. “I’d like that.”

And before he could say another word, you kissed him. It was gentle at first—testing, hesitant—but when he kissed you back, it deepened, a spark igniting between you both. Your heart raced, and for a moment, you forgot about everything around you, lost in the warmth of his embrace.

When the kiss finally broke, you were both breathless, standing there in the moonlight, eyes locked.

“I guess that’s a yes, then,” Jude murmured, a playful glint in his eyes.

“Definitely a yes,” you whispered back, your lips curling into a smile.

As you watched him walk away, you realized that this was only the beginning—there was something special between you two, and you couldn’t wait to see where it would go.

[petermaximoffsgirl]

pietro

summary – peter is upset after scott and jubilee tease him about his name. 

content – angst, fluff; self-esteem issues, swearing

words – 1.4k

“where’s peter?” you asked, glancing around the room at scott and jubilee. 

jubilee flushed. “no clue,” she said quickly. 

scott nodded. “yeah, i don’t know. no idea where he is.” 

you raised your eyebrows, then snorted. “yeah, right.” they were clearly lying, and you couldn’t help but wonder why. were they planning some sort of prank? 

scott grimaced and focused his gaze on his shoes. “if we tell you, do you promise not to flip out?” 

you groaned. “is he stealing that new pinball machine he saw at the arcade? there’s no way he’s going to get that out unnoticed.” 

jubilee bit her lip. “not exactly.” 

you laughed, then stopped immediately when neither of them joined in. worry began to swirl inside of you. “what happened?” you asked. “is he okay?” 

scott scratched the back of his neck. “yeah, i think so. we just…well, we kinda–well, not kinda, we totally fucked up the tiniest bit.” 

“it’s not that bad,” jubilee said quickly. “we just…we didn’t know he was going to get so upset.” 

anger bubbled in your chest. “what happened?” they both hesitated; you glared at them. “either you tell me what happened right now or i–” 

“okay!” scott said quickly. “so, jubilee heard that the professor had this folder with everyone’s birth certificates in it, and we thought it’d be cool to snag it. have a laugh at everyone’s stupid middle name, right?” 

“naturally, we had peter grab it for us,” jubilee cut in. “you know, since he has more experience in this area. and to be funny, we were going to tease him about his middle name.” 

“i thought it would be something like wyatt or otis,” scott groaned. “it’s not. did you know he wasn’t born here? somewhere in eastern europe, and i kinda fucked up pronouncing some stuff. i think we kind of ended up offending him or something, because he took the whole folder and ran off. he’s upstairs.” he hesitated, then continued. “and i probably shouldn’t have gone to ask him to put the folder back. i panicked, ‘cause i didn’t want the professor knowing we took it, but he threw the thing in my face and slammed the door. now he’s locked in his room. he won’t come out or say anything.” 

“we didn’t know it was going to upset him,” jubilee said, biting her lip again. “we didn’t mean to be rude, and we’re really sorry.” 

you glared at the two of them, shouldering by and making your way toward the stairs. you considered yelling at them, but there wasn’t really any point. they seemed sorry, and screaming wasn’t going to do anything to help peter, although it might make you feel better. you just couldn’t believe that they had been so blatantly insensitive. 

you slowly approached peter’s door, tears filling your eyes when you heard what sounded like muffled sobbing. you hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would be better to give him space, then decided against it. time moved faster for your speedy boyfriend. he’d probably already spent what you would have perceived as hours alone in his room. you knocked gently. “peter? can i come in?” 

you heard the telltale fwip of him speeding around the room. the door rattled slightly, indicating that it was now unlocked, which you took as permission to enter. you shut it again behind you, glancing around nervously. 

his room was in its usual state of chaos: twinkie wrappers piled on the floor, band posters threatening to fall off the walls, a plethora of stolen items stashed in various places, bed unmade, cassette tapes strewn about. peter had his back to you as he played pac-man, his hands blurring as he worked the controls. “what’s up?” he asked, not turning. 

if you didn’t know him so well, you wouldn’t have noticed that his voice was slightly strained, confirming what you had suspected: he’d been crying. you slowly walked over to him, gently wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him into a hug. his breath hitched as his entire body tensed. he was at a rare standstill for a moment, not moving until the stolen arcade machine flashed game over.  

suddenly, he vanished, tearing away from you and reappearing on his bed in the blink of an eye. you swallowed hard as you took in the sight of his red eyes and tousled hair. “do you want to talk about it?” you asked softly. 

he glanced at you, looking so miserable that you wanted to cry. “no,” he mumbled. you gasped as he sped over to you and pulled you over to the bed, carefully depositing you near him before he curled up into a ball. in a flash, he tossed you a crumpled up piece of paper. “d’you think it’s funny?” he asked quietly, picking determinedly at the sleeve of his silver jacket. “or…or stupid or weird or something? it’s okay if you do, i just…just want to know.” 

you carefully smoothed out the piece of paper, squinting as you took in the faded words: pietro django maximoff. the birthdate was too smudged for you to make out, but you could see that he was born in sokovia. “no, i don't. what would be funny or stupid or weird about it?” you asked. 

he kept picking at his jacket sleeve. “i dunno, maybe that it looks like pie-tro duh-jango maxi-moff,” he said angrily. “i don’t get why it’s so hard to pronounce. ‘s got nothing to do with pie, and it’s not duh, and it’s definitely not maxi. i don’t see what’s so funny, but it’s always been fucking hilarious to everyone.” he laughed bitterly. “my mom always hated that i wanted to be called peter, but it’s just easier than having to explain.” 

you gently placed your hand on his shoulder, smiling sadly when he quickly melted into your touch. “do you want to cuddle?” 

he nodded slowly, carefully crawling over to you and snuggling into your side. he fidgeted for a moment, then wrapped both arms around you so he could rest his head on your chest. “i know i’m overreacting,” he muttered. “it’s…it’s like i was a little kid again, having to ask the teachers to just say peter when they were taking attendance. i didn’t need to give everyone another reason to laugh at me. they were already going to, because i couldn’t sit still and i was the stupidest kid in the class and i didn’t have fancy new clothes every week, but i could get past all of that. this just…it always felt different because it’s my name, not me wearing the same shirt twice in one week.” 

you slowly ran your fingers through his untidy silver hair. “you’re not overreacting. kids can be nasty, especially to people like us.” you hesitated, then continued. “i don’t think scott and jubilee were trying to be mean, but they were way out of line. you don’t have to be okay with any of this. no one should get to be mean to you just because they want to or think it’s funny.” 

he shrugged, leaning into your touch. “nah, ‘s better to not care. if people think they can’t get to me, they stop at some point.” he smiled thinly. “i’ve never been good at acting like i don’t care though. the kids at school used to figure out how to get a rise out of me and land me in detention or some shit.” he groaned. “scott sure got a rise out of me today. i didn’t mean to totally flip out, but i wasn’t expecting it to make me so…upset.” 

“all of your feelings are valid,” you said. “it doesn’t matter if you’re angry or sad or frustrated or what. i’ll always listen to you, i promise.” 

he grinned mischievously. “even if i’m pissed off about the stupidest shit ever?” 

“even if you’re pissed off about the stupidest shit ever.” 

he went quiet for a moment, then glanced up at you. “thank you,” he said quietly. “i…i really needed to hear that.” 

you gently kissed his forehead. “i’ll always be here for you, no matter what you need, peter.” 

he sighed happily, snuggling up against you. “pietro.” 

you blinked, confused. “what?” 

he hesitated briefly. “my name. ‘s pietro,” he murmured. “you can call me that if…if you want.” 

you smiled softly. “i love you, pietro.” 

[alexhasalotofthoughts]

Okay it's been long enough since TIT that I can share my thoughts with a clear head. I literally slept the whole of yesterday because I was so tired (thank you, London).

Seeing Dan and Phil was a really big deal for me—as I'm sure it is for most fans. I've been a fan of DnP since primary school and now I'm nearing the end of secondary school and the start of uni so this feels like a very big full circle moment.

As cringe and stereotypical as it is, DnP videos have always been there when I needed them. When I was having a bad day at school, or struggling to come to terms with my sexuality/gender, there were Dan and Phil, ready to put a smile on my face. Dan's coming out video was released the same year I started being bullied for my sexuality and seeing someone I looked up to as much as him be so honest and open really helped me to feel less alone. I rewatch that video a lot. I will always be grateful for that.

I've worn my Interactive Introverts bracelet everyday since I brought it with the DVD (my mum would not let me see them live at the time as I was "too young" lol) so Dan and Phil, in some way, have been there for every big and small moment in my life. They were technically there when I got an offer from the uni I want to go to. I literally wore a Dan and Phil shirt to my autism assessment. They were mentioned in my autism assessment report (though I am not the person who said that for the confessions part of the show, that was someone else. I am not trying to steal their thunder lol). I can't even begin to express what a big part of my life their videos have been.

As I'm sure has been mentioned many times by now, my show was filmed so I might even end up on YouTube or a DVD (PLEASE DAN AND PHIL, KEEP PHYSICAL MEDIA ALIVE) or something, though I doubt that because I was in the royal circle. Also a drunk girl hung if the balcony and heckled for most of the show. I think even ended up getting kicked out. I saw somewhere on twitter that Phil asked for her to be kicked or mentioned to staff that she was too loud but I have no idea how true that is as I was on the opposite side of the circle to her and I have never and probably will never speak to Phil to confirm this.

Other than that, though, the show was absolutely brilliant!

Genuinely! It was so funny and it was absolutely lovely being in a room of people who have the same interests as me; I literally saw a "Be More Chill" "Boyf" bag, "Heathers" tracksuit bottoms, a FNAF Bonnie keychain and a Doctor Who badge all in the space of 5 minutes of one another. My people. Someone even complimented my hat, though I find London so overwhelming that I forgot to respond properly lol (sorry hat person, you were very nice! I liked your whiskers!).

Before the show, they played "Hot To Go" by Chappell Roan, and the whole theatre sang and danced along, which was absolutely lovely!

I was laughing and cheering for about 2 hours straight, so I'd say it was money well spent, though my mum literally fell asleep during the first act so I don't know if she'd agree.

One thing I will say: seeing sister Daniel in the flesh is literally a HOLY experience—I am so... Gay? Straight? Bisexual?? I'm not sure which word go use in this situation but Daniel was hot, so who cares?

To conclude this overly long blog post no-one will read, it was fun and I feel like 12 year old me would look at me now and smile. I saw Dan and Phil live. I got an offer from the uni I wanted to study film! I write!! I have friends who care about me!! I'm not ashamed to like the things I like!! God, they would be so proud of me. And I am proud of them.

TIT pics below ;)

(That last pic was taken by my mum, hence why I look so awkward. I was happy, I swear.)

Thank you very much if you read this! I really do go on a lot but also this is my blog and I suppose that means I can go on as much as I want.

[paxaz535]

Brothers Best Friend

♡pairing ♡

paige x black!oc

chapter vi

series here

—————

The pool room was filled with music, laughter and enjoyment. Daveli was currently playing chicken fight with Makayla, Paige, Emma, Carol and Azzi. Eli was on Paige, Azzi on Carol and Makayla on Emma. “Bro, Paige do not drop me.” Eli spoke as she looked down at the blonde. Paige laughed, grabbing onto the younger girls thighs. “I won’t.. just make sure they don’t push you off me or we both going down.”

Jaida was the person to tell us to start. “Alright, yall ready?” Makayla, Eli and Azzi nod. “Go!” Emma and Makayla were the first ones to attack, Makayla had both hands out to push both Eli and Azzi. Luckily, Daveli grabbed her hand and began to push her. Azzi also pushed her, making the two girls fall in the water.

“Uh oh.. looks like Makayla and Emma are out!”Jaida commented as she laughed. “Yo! That was two against one!” Makayla spoke when she came back up from the water. “You attacked us first, kay.” Daveli said as she blew Makayla a kiss. The girl just flipped her off, her and emma swimming towards Jaida.

Azzi and Eli looked at each other, both smiling. Paige decided to move first, automatically making Daveli attack. Azzi screamed as she and the 18 year old fought. “Damn, y’all strong as fuck!” Jayden yelled as he and everyone else watched, making a few of them laugh. The twins were currently sitting across from Nai and Mia but close to where Jaida was. They couldn’t help but peep the looks they were giving Daveli.

“You see that too, right?” Connie asked as she looked at her sibling. Caniya looked over and nodded her head. “It’s kind of giving hating, right?” Connie nodded, “Right.” They knew to keep their eye on the two, already knowing about how Nai and Daveli fought a few months back.

At the end Daveli and Paige ended up winning, the two cheering in the water. “Yea yea, yall got lucky.” Carol spoke as they all gathered in one spot of the pool. Eli laughed and shook her head, “whateverrrrr, yall hatin.” Carol just let out a giggle, she thought Daveli was a very funny person and was starting to genuinely like her. “I gotta pee, i’ll be back.” Daveli spoke as she left the pool.

She checked her phone while drying off. she had a lot of notifications but decided to ignore them. It was already almost seven, time really does go by when you having fun. She dried off as much as she could and went down the hall to the bathroom.

The girl then began to remember how Paige was grabbing on her. She looked down at her thighs, cheesing in the process. She could still feel the older girl’s hands on them, making her slightly tingle. She’d do anything to have paige touch her again.. maybe even do something more.

As she began to grab toilet paper, she saw a spider on the door. She screeched, daveli hated spiders with a passion. It was so close to her too. She hurried to wipe herself and got up slowly, trying not to trigger the insect. She grabbed another piece of tissue and quickly smashed the spider. She screeched in disgust and threw it in the toilet, flushing it with her slide.

“Ugh.” She left out of the stall and quickly washed her hands, her mind going back to the blonde. She walked out the restroom with a smile on her face, making her way towards the pool again. She didn’t look up until she heard laughter. What she saw made her smile drop, completely. Paige was sitting on the edge of the pool with only her legs in, while Mia was in the water between her legs.

The two were looking at each other laughing. They looked in loved which is crazy because they only met today. She could also see David and Jaida dap each other up, making her heart drop to her ass. The scene brought her back to when she saw paige with another girl at the age of 14 and 13.

————————

13 year old Daveli was currently at the water park with her mom, david and paige. The three kids got separated due to paige running off somewhere and david spotted a few friends, leaving Eli by herself. She spotted her mom, running up to her.

“Ma, you seen paige?” She asked, angelica was lying in a lounge chair, reading a book. She looked up to see her daughter, a small apologetic smile on her face. “I’m not quite sure, honey. you can try over there.” She pointed towards the pool area of the waterpark. Daveli just nodded, thanking the woman and walking towards where she was directed.

She looked around, not spotting her.. until she did. and she was with someone else. a girl daveli never seen before. why was paige with someone else? why wasn’t she with david? the 13 year old was curious on who that girl was.

“p!” Paige turned and her face lit up, she looked back at the girl and got up, and jogged towards the younger girl. “hey, eli.” Daveli smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Hey.. who’s that girl?” Daveli couldn’t help herself but she didn’t care either.

The young girl could see the blonde’s face get red, trying to hide a smile. “Oh, that’s reese. I met her a few weeks ago.” Eli just nodded, paige looked like she wanted to say more. “I… I think i might like her.” Eli heart dropped. Paige liking someone else wasn’t something Eli was fond of. it just made her upset, because she liked paige first.

“really?” eli tried to be supportive, paige just nodded. “you can’t tell anyone, though.” paige quickly looked at her, her finger pointed at the 13 year old. Daveli was hurt but nodded, looking back over at reese. “she’s pretty.” Eli spoke. and she was.

Eli could give her that, reese was gorgeous. she had wavy hair with glasses, even from where she was standing, she could tell that reese’s eyes were green. the sun made them pop. paige was looking at her too, a faint smile on her face. “she is, isn’t she?” Eli looked over at paige. ‘why can’t you look at me like that?’ She thought. Paige then looked over at Eli and sighed, “okay. I better get back, she has to leave soon. Remember, don’t tell anyone. it’s our little secret.” she spoke as she walked away, still facing daveli. Daveli did a sealed lip motion, forcing a smile.

Paige chuckled and turned around, quickly walking towards reese. Daveli let out a sad sigh, standing there a few moments before turning around. she felt her eyes watering, just thinking about paige was hurting her. she was slightly slumped, walking towards her mom. Angelica automatically noticed her daughter’s mood change, closing her book. “What’s wrong, eli?”

Daveli just shook her head and sat on the lounge chair next to her. “I don’t feel like playing anymore.” Angelica knew her daughter was in a bad mood but she didn’t want to push her either. She knew her daughter didn’t like speaking when she was upset so she’d just ask her later.

——————-

that moment happened a month ago and today Daveli found out that the two officially started dating. She saw a story paige posted. The two girls were in paige’s bathroom, hugging each other. it was captioned

‘my pretty girl💕’ and daveli just turned her phone off. She should be happy for her but she couldn’t bring herself to be happy. Not when the girl she liked was took by someone else.

She grabbed her pillow and pushed it against her face. She screamed, her emotions getting to her. She started to silently cry and it slowly turned into sobs. Why did paige have this much of effect on her? Why is she crying over her brother’s best friend?

the girl didn’t really leave her room that whole day, only to use the restroom. Angelica tried to get her to come out because at one point paige came over with reese, the two, david and a few people david invited were chilling in the backyard.

“Sweetie? come on, come say hey to everyone.” Angelica spoke softly against the door. Paige stood at the end of the steps, waiting to see if she’d come out or not. “Daveli?” Angelica called again. Eli cleared her throat, “I’m not really feeling well, apologize to everyone for me.” you could tell that the girl was crying, her voice was usually bright and happy.

Angelica’s heart hurt for the young girl, she turned around and shook her head at paige. Paige just sighed and nodded, going back to her girlfriend. Reese smiled when she saw Paige come back outside. “Hey, is she coming out?” She sweetly asked.

Paige just shook her head, “I don’t think she’s feeling well. David, has eli been in her room all day?” David looked over to his best friend. “Yea but who cares? she probably got her period or something.” Paige just rolled her eyes, shaking her head at the 15 year old boy. Reese looked at paige, “I hope she gets better.” Paige nodded, agreeing with her. The blonde looked at her girlfriend and smiled, going in for a kiss.

Before she could see their lips connect, she quickly closed her curtains. Eli watched the whole thing unfold, secretly flipping off David in the process. Seeing paige like this really took a toll on eli but she couldn’t do anything about it. and that’s killing her.

——————————

“Daveli!” The girl slightly jumped, she noticed everyone looking at her. “Girl, is you okay?” Connie asked as she and Ciniya were now by Makayla, Azzi, Carol, and Emma. Eli just nodded, a smile trying to hide the embarrassment by everyone’s eyes on her. “I had saw a spider in the bathroom..” Which was true.. but that wasn’t what made her space out.

She looked over at Paige and Mia to see the two girls looking at her. She quickly looked away and got into the pool, going by Makayla. Makayla looked at her best friend. “Eli. is it because of them?” Eli looked back over to them, paige was fully in the water and had her arm around Mia. Mia was giggling at the blonde.

“Hell yea, it is. look at them and look at her face!” Ciniya teased as she leaned against the edge of the pool. Connie quickly looked at her sister. Ciniya put her hands up in surrender then looked at Eli, “Love you, girl.” Eli just faintly smiled looking back at the two. A few of David friends left to get settled in and comfortable for when the food arrived.

“I leave for 2 seconds and she’s already under her.” Daveli spoke as she began to grow irritated at this Mia girl. Eli felt like she was throwing shade a little bit, due to the fact that, that’s Nia’s friend. Emma noticed the girl’s mug and swam to be in front of her, blocking her view. “No. We’re not doing this.” Eli looked at her, eyebrows furrowed. “Wha-“ Emma held her hand up. Eli was taken a back, “It’s literally your birthday, mija. You need to block them out, fuck them!” Eli just sighed, emma was right.

she literally just turnt into a young adult, why was she focusing on the two? “Yea girl, after this we finna eat and party some more. It’s all about you right now.” Azzi spoke as she looked at the girl. Daveli looked at her friends, a smile on her face. “Y’all right. Fuck ‘em.” Daveli then remembered she had to leave early to get everything situated.

“Yo! David, what time is it?” Eli voice could be heard throughout the pool room. “It just turned 8!” Eli nodded, looking at her friends again. “Okay, I gotta get going so this food can be ready. Does anyone wanna come with me?” She began to leave out the pool, quickly grabbing her dry towel.

“Actually, yes. my fingers are starting to prune.” Makayla spoke, she then looked over at Emma. “you coming?” Emma shook her head, “Im gonna stay with these 4. they’re funny.” Makayla just nodded, waving at everyone before she and Daveli took off.

“I’m surprised Nai ain’t try shit, you know she usually do.” Makayla spoke as they got onto the elevator. Daveli laughed, “yea she knows better. and to be honest, i really don’t feel like whopping ass today.” Makayla chuckled, shaking her head. “Her little friend tho.. i don’t know. I feel like she up to something.” Daveli looked over at her.

“Like what?” Makayla sighed, looking back. “I just got a feeling she bad news. just look out for her, just in case she does try something.” Daveli just nodded, she was still confused but she knew to study Mia more.

——————

After taking a nice, hot shower, Daveli got a call.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this Daveli?”

“This is she.”

“Okay, I’m outside with the food, you might need some help.”

“Okay, we’re on our way.”

Makayla grabbed her slippers and followed Daveli out the door. She knocked on David’s room and Jayden was there to open it. “What’s up, yall?” Daveli smiled, “hey, could you come help us with the food? it’s here.” Jayden nodded his head, “oh yea, for sure.” He grabbed his slides and the three of them made it downstairs.

As they were coming down, Azzi, Carol, the twins, Emma, Jaida, Paige, Mia, and Nai were going up. “Where y’all going?” Emma asked. Daveli looked towards the door to see a lady get out of her blue car. “To get the food.” Paige quickly spoke up, “I can help-“ Eli just shook her head.

“It’s fine, p. you’re wet and probably uncomfortable. go shower.” She nodded her head towards Makayla and Jayden, beckoning them to follow her. “I call first!” Emma spoke as she quickly got into the elevator. “Well, me and Nai are gonna go in David’s room.” Mia spoke as she stood by paige. The twins just looked at each other, going back to their phones. Paige looked down at the girl and quickly looked at Jaida. Jaida just shook her head, going back to talking to emma.

uh oh

mia might be causing problems

we’ll see

taglist @melpthatsme @prettygirl-gabi @rebecca-woso @starfulani @avvwritesstufff @evry1luvzzae @hearts4morgancheli + more if wanted

[marscardigan]

can you write a little angsty fic abt joel accidentally triggering readers fear of being buried alive (as it’s happened b4) and reader has to awkwardly explain her disassociation episode?

sweater weather

joel miller x reader

thank you so much if requesting! I don't know if I understood correctly, but here it is!

summary: Joel brings back to life your biggest fear.

word count: 5.3k

content warning: being buried alive, past trauma, mentions of abuse. cursing.

It started snowing a week ago, and since then, it hasn't stopped. The patrols were paused, and Joel and you were the first to leave after it ceased a bit, to see if some infected got closer to the city. Snow made you anxious, and Joel could sense that.

He had known you for almost four years, when he arrived with Ellie. You were a waitress at The Tipsy Bison, where you met him. Before joining the community, you were an important soldier that fought with FEDRA, but left to join a better cause.

You didn't tell him what happened to make you leave. Only Maria knew, because she was the one who found you after.

"You could've grabbed a thicker jacket"

"Huh?" You turned to Joel, too focused on where were you walking to hear him properly.

"Just sayin', you are shivering t'much" He shrugged, but you could see concern somewhere, deep behind his gaze.

"The cold is not the reason why" You breathed, your eyes back at the snow.

Joel's eyes narrowed, now more confused than before. "You didn't tell me much about your life before Jackson"

You didn't like where this conversation was going. "You neither"

Your feet started to move quicker through the snow, but Joel was quick to get your rhythm. He put himself in front of you, frowning. "What's buggin' you so much?"

"You." You tried to push him, but he didn't move. Fuck him and his big and strong body. "Move, Joel!"

"I'm not movin' until you tell me why are you acting like that" He grabbed you, as soft as he could, by the wrist, "Please" He pleaded, saying tenderly your name.

"Why are you so fucking stubborn, huh?" You managed to get rid of his grip, walking backwards to face him. "Why can't you unders-"

A scream left your throat sore as you fell inside a whole. You tried to grab something, but it only made more snow fell on top of you, as you still screamed for help, shrieking Joel's name.

He cursed under his breath. He started to dig the snow out, calling out your name. You couldn't answer, you were too busy trying to calm down the anxiety that ran through your whole body, which was now paralyzed by fear.

The memories hit you like a strong punch, almost as a shot through your chest. You were nineteen again, buried alive by your own partner, as he escaped, and left you to die. Tears ran down your cheeks, but you were not capable of breathing.

You didn't even felt when Joel took you out of that hole, and whispered your name over and over again.

Neither of you spoke about it until you calmed down. Joel waited as your breathing slowed, his steady hand caressing your back. You hadn’t spoken about Eugene in years. But now, with Joel’s concerned gaze fixed on you, it felt like the dam finally broke.

"It was... my partner." you began, your voice barely above a whisper. "We were together for years. We made plans to leave FEDRA together, to get away from all the shit they put us through. But that day…" You stopped, choking back a sob, the memory cutting through you like a knife. You still felt the weight of the snow on top of you.

Joel didn’t rush you, his silence encouraging you to continue.

“When we already left the QZ” you said shakily, eyes wide as you remembered. "An infected horde came out of nowhere, faster than we could react. We ran, trying to find cover, but my leg failed, and… and then he saw it. A hole, dug out in the snow. He pushed me in. Said he’d come back for me once it was safe."

"But he never came back." Your voice cracked as you stared down at the snow. "He ran. Left me buried alive, trapped, while he saved himself. The horde passed eventually, but I was still stuck. I was sure I was going to die there, Joel. The snow just kept piling on, and I—" Your voice broke completely, and a sob tore through you.

Joel shook his head, "That son of a bitch doesn’t deserve the air he’s breathin’. If I ever—" He stopped himself, taking a deep breath. His hand squeezed your shoulder. "You didn’t deserve that, you hear me? What he did to you—it wasn’t your fault. That’s on him."

You nodded, although the guilt still lingered. "Maria found me the next day. She said it was a miracle I was still alive. I don’t know if I would’ve made it if it had been another hour." You wiped the tears freezing on your cheeks. "I heard later that he made it back to base. He told them I was dead. I guess he figured no one would find me, and it was easier to move on without me dragging him down."

Joel’s jaw clenched as he stared at you, his eyes softening despite the anger still simmering beneath the surface. "Sorry if you felt like I was pushing you to explain it to me. I just... I don't know. Guess somehow you would feel better after tellin' me"

"I do feel better, but... It's a lot for me"

Joel gave you a brief, reassuring smile. "C’mon. Let’s get movin’. You don’t need to be out here relivin’ that shit." He turned and motioned for you to follow, but before you could, he looked back over his shoulder. "And if Eugene ever shows his face again…" Joel’s voice hardened, his southern drawl thickening. "You let me handle him."

You let out a soft laugh, despite yourself. "I’ll hold you to that."

The two of you trudged on through the snow, the silence between you no longer heavy but comforting. For the first time in years, you felt a flicker of relief—not because the memories had faded, but because you weren’t facing them alone anymore.

[scarletttries]

Write A Kiss Request: Gun Woo (Bloodhounds) x Reader ...a kiss to pretend

(prompt list here) & 2025 Request List - requests open

...a kiss to pretend with Gun Woo

When you took a first aid course all those years ago, you didn't expect it to come in so handy as you stood hunched over Gun Woo's trembling frame. For such a statuesque man, he had the incredible ability to shrink down into something unassuming and disarming whenever he was around you, letting you see his vulnerability where everyone else only saw his strength.

"You're lucky you don't need any stitches, but I'll get you cleaned up and you should feel back after some sleep." You spoke softly as you brushed cotton wool over each of the scrapes on his face, starting with his forehead and tracing a line down to his bleeding brow.

"You don't have to do this for me, I can clean myself up if that's easier." He said meekly, wide eyes staring up at you from his perch on the edge of a bathtub, too worried about bleeding on his boss's carpets to leave this tiny room. His gaze was pleading, begging you not to take him up on his offer, your gentle caressing of his face the only thing that was keeping the pain at bay.

"I'm always going to take care of you Gun Woo." You reassured with a soft smile, fingertips drifting along his cheek in search of any other cuts. Even in the dim light glowing from the mirror you could see the deep gash that scarred his face, a testament to his loyalty and dedication. If anyone else was this close to him he'd shy away, but with you he couldn't help but lean closer, not satisfied until he could feel your breath on him. You picked up a fresh ball of white cotton, lingering as you ran it over his full lips, a small cut staining the fibres red as you cleaned up any dried blood from the day's battles. You noticed how closely Gun Woo's gaze following your movements, his tongue swiftly darting out to taste the spot you had just touched as if he could taste you on his lips.

"I wish I had met you in different circumstances." He sighed out solemnly, searching your expression for recognition of the aching he held for another life you two could share. You thought it would be a good distraction while you cleaned some of the deeper wounds on his arms, so you replied with a mischievous smile,

"Okay, if you saw me for the first time somewhere else, like I came into your mother's cafe for a drink, what would you say to me?" You watched as blood flushed into his cheeks at the implication, feeling very on the spot to think of a perfect line he wished he could brainstorm with Woo Jin. You brushed gently over his arm with the back of your fingers, making it even harder for the poor boxer to think of anything but how intoxicating he found your presence. Teasing him further you swayed your hips as you stepped between his legs, his awestruck face almost level with yours even while seated. "So what would you say, handsome stranger in a cafe?" You practically purred out the words, watching him get more flustered with every sound you sighed out, but letting a smile breakthrough at the word handsome.

"Umm, you are very pretty, and I can tell already that you are very kind and nice and I was wondering if I could take you out for dinner? I know a really good BBQ place that I think you would like?" He bowed his head at the offer, afraid to meet your gaze in case he had overstepped, even in this hypothetical game of first impressions.

"I'd definitely say yes." His head darted up with a smile, "in that situation or in this one." You added, looking deeply into his needy expression and hoping you could spur a little more confidence out of him. "If you took me out on a date, and we had a nice time which I am sure we would, how would you say goodbye at the end?"

His eyes grew wide as he imagined everything he could do if the two of you weren't caught in the drama and danger of your current world. He couldn't imagine ever facing this world without having you in his life, knowing that when the fighting finally came to an end, you would be the first person he wanted to celebrate with. He might just be pretending to have you to himself in this dimly lit bathroom as his knuckles burned from another day of risking his life, but he couldn't help but dream that this could all come true before too long.

"I know what I would want to do." His voice shook slightly as he raised his arms, muscles screaming in exhaustion as one found your waist and the hand with fewer injuries came to cup with your face as gently as he could. He loved that with you his touch was delicate and comforting, like he was more than his physical strength, like you could take his boxer's heart and make it stronger in the best possible way. You fought every instinct and remained cautiously still, only daring to use one finger to lift Gun Woo's chin until you were barely an inch from each other.

After an achingly long few seconds Gun Woo finally pressed his lips over yours, soft and full, gentle and strong, everything you knew he could be. You slowly dragged your fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his face as he dived in deeper, the slight metallic taste on his lips the only thing reminding you to be gentle with him, every fibre of your being wanting to climb onto his lap and never leave it. He kissed you so gently, handling you like the precious treasure that you are to him, aching for your touch but never wanting to overstep. Slowly you drew away from his lips and let your forehead rest lightly against his, the two of you sharing an easy smile of having escaped everything outside this small tiled space.

"I think that we'd have a really good date Gun Woo, if you asked me out-"

"Then can I buy you dinner sometime soon?" He interrupted before he could lose the nerve, beaming brightly as you nodded your head and leant in to kiss him again.

"GUNWOO! (Y/N)! Can I come in for a bandage?!" Woo Jin shouted loudly as his fist pounded on the door, breaking the two of you out of your imagined world, both of you erupting into laughter as you opened the door behind you. Gun Woo didn't mind letting the outside world in as much, now that he knew you two stood a chance even in the real world.

If you enjoyed this, check out my Bloodhounds master list!

[rorywritesjunk]

It's the perfect time of year Somewhere far away from here

Buggy isn't *old* even if his body says otherwise.

Rating: PG13

Warning: none

A/N: I started this when I threw my back out brushing my teeth last year and I'm just now finishing and posting it. I actually thought it was lost. I've been dealing with health issues (physical and mental) hence why... Nothing has been written for a while. Here we go. I think I'm back. Is this good? Nah but it's fun. Buggy is fun and that's what matters.

Title comes from "Pinch Me" by Barenaked Ladies

~

You jokingly called him Old Man after he complained about a stiff neck when he woke up one morning, and yea, Buggy was a little offended. You were both the same age, late thirties, prime of life! Yet you called him Old, which was offensive to him, even jokingly.

He didn't feel old and he proved it by climbing up a stack of boxes to get something down, carried way too many baskets of heavy things, and even did a pushup competition against one of the younger freaks, winning by a landslide.

Him? Old? Pssh. He'd teach you a lesson later.

By night time, he felt tired, rightfully so, and as he leaned over the sink to brush his teeth, thinking all the ways he'd get back at you for calling him old, something happened. He felt the muscles in his lower back tense up suddenly, catching him by surprise that he nearly spat out his toothbrush. He caught himself on the sink, feeling the pain and discomfort radiate from that spot all the way to his sides, legs, and even up his back.

Buggy felt like his legs would give out from under him. It felt like a giant grabbed the base of his spine and smooshed it down. Was this the end? Everything hurt.

"Babe!" He managed to shout as he spat out the toothbrush and paste as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Babe, I need you in here!"

"I swear, if you're showing me what you did to the toilet again, I'm leaving you." You retorted as you came in. You saw the pain he was in, knuckles white as he gripped onto the sink. He wasn't moving, staying hunched over as he glanced in your direction. "What happened?"

"I'unno, my back hurts!" He whined. "I don't know what I did!"

"Okay, okay, let's get you to bed." You let him hold onto you as you led him to the bed, being mindful of his movements as he winced and complained about the pain. His movements were stiff and you were careful to help him into bed.

You weren't a doctor but you've had your share of injuries.

You went to get a cold compress for his back as he laid flat on his back, whining about the pain. Maybe some pain meds to take the edge off would work too. You'd seen him best up several times before but the back pain was no joke.

"Buggy, babe, what do you need?" You wondered if there would be a way to get some ice for him.

"I'unnoooooo!" He was fussy. You helped him prop his legs up to keep some of the pressure off his back. Maybe he would feel better in a few days.

~

Buggy was an absolute baby about this. He was taking full advantage of being laid up and demanding everything from you. Once you threatened to smother him with a pillow he settled down a bit.

He was enjoying the attention from you. The massages, the snacks you brought him, and how you held him before bed time so your hands would rub his back, fingers digging into the muscles to loosen him up, often had him relaxing in your arms even if it was uncomfortable.

Did he make inappropriate comments about your hands? Of course.

Did he tell you how he would make sure to show you how he wasn't such an old man once he was better? Obviously.

And you didn't mind the comments, you thought they were funny.

And after he said he wasn't an old man, you asked how he intended to prove it.

He would find a way once his back stopped hurting.

[bumpscosity]

Actually all gravity falls shipping wars in back when the show was airing were hilarious. i once saw two ppl arguing abt wether pinecest or stancest was better like guys i think its better if we just throw both of you into the bottomless pit forever

[seaofreverie]

GUUUYYUYSSSD !!!!!

‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

KIMONO MY HOUSE VINYL!!!!!!

Also funny story which is that when my brother took these to the cashier he said something like "oh... Sparks... they were here one year ago"

[trickstersaint]

hey hi hello! first of all i'd like to say i took your patron saint uquiz and it. Changed my life unironically it's so good. i follow you now because every line in that quiz was a gut punch and i loved it. top tier hurt honestly

my question is this - i am a fanauthor. on the side i also write my own original fiction but i specialize in fanfic. Am I allowed to use your poetry for a reference folder? I wouldn't use your poetry in a fic without explicit permission and without linking back here of course, and I'd never use it for commercial work outside of maybe taking inspiration without copying, but I wanna have a ref folder of Things That Made Me Feel Things about a character. It's not planned to be public as of yet, it's just supposed to be a bunch of screenshots in my drafts, but I'd like to maybe one day make it public once the fic was complete. (I already have your blog linked in my drafts actually, so if it goes public I'm not gonna forget.) I just want to make sure you're comfortable with me using your poetry for fanfic of all things

It's cool if not and have a great day! I still think your poetry is great and evocative and all

hi, anon! you're all good, i prommy. so glad you like the quiz + the poetry, and i would always prefer people come and ask questions if they're uncertain! no trouble at all.

my general stance is that as long as it's clearly credited, i am totally cool with my work being used in personal projects. like you said, i've got a tag for the things that people make! i love to see what people create. if it's for a noncommercial creative project then i would say there's no need to ask beforehand (unless it would make you more comfortable to ask, in which case go ahead and i'll almost certainly say yes <3). my only thing is that if you post it, please tag me in it/send it to me so that i can reblog it here for people to see!

if there are any questions about using my work that anyone has, feel free to ask. i don't think i've got anything particular going on outside of common practice! same way you'd treat, like, a richard siken poem or smth: you wanna credit it so that people can find the source material, and make sure you're not using it for profit unless you have an understanding with that author. i trust you all to be decent about it <3 kiss kiss go out and make your cool little things so that i can be delighted and amazed with them

[twpsyn-who]

Soulmate AU in which when you touch your soulmate you swap bodies. It needs to be skin on skin contact and is instant. The only way to get back in the previous body is to touch again, otherwise you're stuck like that.

No matter the body all psychological and physical damage stays with you. That means if you get hurt then swap bodies, you will still feel it despite no longer having the wounds. This is only the case of existing wounds prior to swapping ; if new wounds happen to the hurt body after the swap you won't feel them, but the person in the body when it happens will. A very complicated way of saying that you can't get away from pain by swapping bodies with your soulmate as it will follow you.

There's no known consequences to not changing bodies back once swapped, though some might get sick for a few days after swapping back if they waited a long period of time to change back (say over a month, even longer depending on individual)

Now this but, you know... JeanMarco. And of course they find out during their time in the 104th Training Corps, because there's no way their skin didn't touch at least once in +3 years of training and being as close as they are. It isn't until break when they're able to visit home that they learn what it truly means ; up until that point they used it to swap chores (is the only reason why Jean didn't try to kill Eren during their shared chores- because it was actually Marco all along). At that point they knew each other perfectly.

Of course the whole situation was a little bit awkward for both of them when returning. They probably would end up avoiding each other for a bit because teenager boys and stuff, all until someone finally got the guts to mention the tension and ask them what's wrong- which forces them to talk and stuff. Doesn't matter, this is not what I want to talk about.

But the beautiful battle of Trost and what if, hypothetical speaking of course, they touch skin after Jean gets another ODM? And they're so used with each other by now, they don't even notice until the mission is nearly done anyway. And I don't know man, the idea of Jean dying while in Marco's body? Marco (in Jean's body) saying "I need to find Marco" once the mission is a success and research for his soulmate, just for him to not find him?? Not find him until 3 days later when some of them are assigned cleaning duty in Trost and he finds his own fucking body bitten in half???

The realization that it should've been Marco who died that day, but didn't because he was in Jean's body. The realization that not only his soulmate is dead, but he's stuck living his life. He's stuck living the life Jean can't because he died in Marco's place.

SEEING YOUR DEAD SOULMATE EVERYDAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR. Poor Marco would most likely avoy any reflective surface for a very long time, unable to see Jean's face looking at him.

The guilt of lying to everyone, because how does one even begin to explain what's going on? Him lying to Jean's mother to protect her from the harsh truth of the reality- that her son actually died and the one in front of her was a fake.

And the sad truth is that no one would notice because they've been doing it for months already. They knew how to act like each other to perfection. Even if Marco slipped at some point no one would question it because they got many traits from each other already.

[airenyah]

aaaaaand simm has now disappeared off of youtube as well. sigh.

[toothmarqed]

fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull