#**ashamed don’t know why is autocorrected to that

[toothmarqed]

fallen prey to saying stupid shit on the internet without thinking and coming off as incredibly rude and insensitive. i feel sick to my stomach. never commenting on anything else ever again. deserve to be squashed under someone’s shoe and ground into powder. in all seriousness this has shocked me so much that i am quitting every platform but tumblr for however long it takes for me to get some sense knocked into my dumb fucking skull

[ramblesofakio]

I really want to comment on this because it’s something that makes us struggle, even if people refuse to agree.

Syscord and other Discord servers have made it so hard for us to actually be able to connect with our cultures because of constant gatekeeping from people that aren’t in the culture or those that are that just don’t want to see that there’s others outside of spaces and those that aren’t just in one spot of the world.

I have had people tell me that they don’t want me using my name (昭夫) and that they won’t believe it without proof, or they just don’t like someone else using the name. I have seen people get upset with others who were gifted a name. I have seen people say to not use kaomojis because it’s appropriation.

I have seen so many people feel entitled to someone’s DNA and family history because they “want to make sure” that it’s something someone needs to know to “help protect the culture.”

This is not as big of an issue without online spaces. I can walk in public and have like one or two people ask but never tell me to change my name, tell me they need proof, tells me things that makes me want to give up on trying to reconnect with cultures.

It has gotten to the point where the majority of us in our sys that has a name that isn’t English (such as me, 雪, and 朝美 for example), we don’t even try and proxy anymore. Because it feels like someone will hound us and try and take us away from our own blood.

It’s why we hate syscord servers, why we hate the whole online shit of closing everything off. I understand my culture is seen as closed, but I don’t want to be told that “they’re just making sure.” It is no one else’s business for my DNA and familial history. It does not include strangers I don’t know. I shouldn’t have to be ridiculed and asked ridiculous questions “just so I can make sure you can use the name.” Or be told “…I don’t like you using that name” because it’s a name chosen for myself. There is nothing bad to it.

Like 朝美 (Asami), she’s content and happy with her name. She’s been here for years. And she feels like she will not be able to do anything because of how people are now. She doesn’t want to be seen as someone “faking” when we aren’t.

I just, hate this whole thing and how it doesn’t feel like it’s safe for anything or anyone.

Hell, I’ve even lost friends for us being Asian. And I know that there’ll be other people that will absolutely want to not interact with us because of it. I shouldn’t have to expect friends to leave me because of my race.

I’m tired of it and tired of not being able to feel like we can connect with our blood, cultures, and a name that fits us. And i know someone will try and make me see it in a different way, but also understand where we are coming from.

We are losing people because of our own race, we’re losing every inch of motivation to connect with our cultures because we’re having to deal with random strangers feeling entitled or telling us rude things, having people try and forcefully tell us to change our names.

It’s something that’s causing us issues and has been for a time.

My culture is something I need to be proud of, but with so much shit going on, I’m ashamed of being part of it and it’s heartbreaking. We’re trying to be proud about it, but we don’t see a point if this is how everything continues to go. We make a majority of friends online because going out of the house is horrifying, but even that seems like something we can’t do anymore because of things like this.

(Edit because autocorrect said fuck you and turned majority to notify??)

[oya-oya-okay]

Just saw your post apologizing for any mistakes you might make in English

don’t feel like you have to apologize for making mistakes

as a native English speaker I’ll tell you:

it’s hard it’s stupid and if I could punch a language I would. (If autocorrect wasn’t a thing I’d misspell 90% of everything I type out) grammar is stupid and spelling is hard (I’m half joking haha)

AAAWWWWW🥺🥺🥺😭💖💗💖💗💖

OF COURSE💓💓💓💓💓 I WAS ASHAMED, BUT I DID NOT THINK THAT I WOULD RECEIVE SUCH SUPPORT FROM YOU GUYS OMG😭💕💖💕💖💕

I'm probably very embarrassed because I'm going to have to take an English exam after graduating from school🤓 That's why I have to know and understand it well, and that's why such mistakes that I make upset me😭😭😭😭 (The exams haven't started yet and I already want them to end...)

I'm really very pleased with your support!!!😭🙏💗💓💖💕💞💗 THAT'S VERY, VERY NICE OF YOU!!😭💓💓💓💓💓 Thank you so much for your time~~💕💕💕 I really feel better! My audience is really understanding😍😍😍💖💖💖

[steampunk-the-dragon]

Welcome to a dystopian country that advertises freedom and equality. While keeping the poor beneath its thumb with unlivable wages, continuously  instating  repressive laws that contradict each other, and consistently  moves backwards; all while presenting itself as one of the most forward-thinking countries in the world.

Can you imagine living in a country where they’ll unabashedly arrest anyone in drinking under a random twenty-one years of age while allowing eighteen year olds to purchase firearms or join the military quite easily and forcing girls as young as eleven years old to give birth after being raped?

Welcome to the cult-of-a-country in the twenty-first century who’s ruled by money-hungry bible-thumpers, who govern by the phrase ‘separation of church and state’.

Suicide is illegal… let’s talk about that, and how that doesn’t make sense, just like almost every other law in this country.

The entire idea of a government only makes sense when they actually work for the people. When they actually are people. The way this country uses it, honestly, it’s a joke. Everything is for show, politicians are so well known for lying it’s actually a common joke of reference that everyone is familiar with. They’re in it for the money, for the fame, they love the cameras and popularity, and only the rich can afford to be in the government, hence why the government works to keep the rich insanely rich, and everyone else slaves to their whims.

When you’re born into a country such as this, it’s definitely hard not to not want to live in it… or at all.

No one can be trusted, everyone can and will be bought, and every law and lawman works to back you into a corner and keep you there.

How can a country literally claim to keep a separation between church and state when their pledge, their national fucking anthem, and every single piece of currency say god on it?

My godamn autocorrect constantly tries to capitalize ‘god’ for me, because it’s an official title for an almighty being who’s meant to be universally believed in. And I’ll tell you right now, if god exists, and they (because they’re genderless yet referred to as ‘he’ because men) are as merciful and caring as advertised, they are definitely ashamed of all these hypocritical conservatives who use them as an excuse to be absolute dicks with god as their backup. If god approves of everything they do in their name, then who needs god anyway if they’re just as unjust and discriminating as the conservatives.

Let’s talk about the fucking pledge. A goddamn pledge for this goddamn cult of a dystopian country. What other kind of country needs their citizens to pledge their allegiance on a daily basis to their flag, the falsities it upholds, and to god other than one of cult descent? A country where students will get penalized for not standing and pledging their allegiance doesn’t sound like the freedom-enhanced country they claim to be.

Watching 20,000 people in a stadium stand for the national anthem with pride and without question is very cult-like. It wouldn’t be complete without ‘in god is our trust’, of course, as this country must always ensure that their citizens know where to place their faith. Repetitively, the anthem mentions this country as ‘home of the free’ despite not even being twenty-five years out of outlawing slavery, and a far cry from giving those freed slaves equal rights. Let’s not even mention women’s rights just yet.

The worst thing about a country that claims everyone is equal, is when they get called out for women not having equal rights, and they respond by saying, ‘we gave you the right to vote, don’t make us regret it’ or, ‘we let you vote, what more could you want?’

Any country that ‘gives’ or ‘lets’ a certain type of people have certain rights— after they had to fight for them to begin with— is not one that gets to bounce around how equally their people are. No one can be given or allowed to have rights; they should just have them. The fact that they can’t differentiate that tells you there is still a very wide, very visible line, between these certain types of people and the ones who have rights.

It’s a lot like saying that a dog gets to sleep in the bed with you— it’s a favor, an honor, and they’re so spoiled for this allowance, but they’re still a pet, a dog, lesser, not their own, and you make sure they know it.

Women having the right to vote, or any other right that they previously didn’t have shouldn’t be special, it shouldn’t have to be fought for or earned in any way. Everyone is born unwillingly, and they should grow up with the same, equal rights, with no discrimination against them for being viewed as lesser for… no apparent reason other than conventional bias. Clearly, this a country of idiots, but, being founded by and ruled over by colonial men, what else could you realistically expect?

From a country founded on stolen land through blood and betrayal, they’re probably doing better than can be expected. Let’s blame the country they came from, the one they so valiantly freed themselves from for overtaxing them and treating them unfairly… I mean, they were hypocrites from the start.

Liberty and justice for no one.

The drinking age has to be one of the stupidest laws implemented across every state of this country— and given how many stupid laws they have, that’s really saying something. The insane part though, is that it isn’t even a national law. They abolished the national law, the government got way too much hate for it, so they let the states decide— with a little incentive that is. The states can technically set their own legal drinking limit, but they keep twenty-one because, if they don’t, they lose all funding the national government provides them with for their highways. There’s that freedom and choice they like to brag about; they really are ruled by religious nuts, huh? It’s about freewill, and technically you’ll always have a choice, but it’s really a non-choice as well. Just about every single person breaks this law, regularly, in fact, because it’s a stupid law that anyone with at least one singular brain cell does not respect.

The thing about this country, and its cult following, is they start young. When you know nothing else, and are spoon fed bias as fact, why would you question it? Of course the government belongs where they are; they’ve been there for a long time and they keep making promises that they are there to help you. Obviously it makes sense for these random people to tell you what you can or cannot put in your body ever or at certain ages. They make the rules, and they’re there for your safety, for the safety of society, and why would they be wrong? Imagine falling for their propaganda. They teach you to trust, and abuse it for the rest of your dumb, ignorant life. They don’t just fool you though, they make you believe so hard that you’re passionate about it, that you’d die fighting to protect it. I mean how else would they have an army.

Luckily, not all of us are born blind. Some of us are born untrusting and questioning and refuse to wear the blinders they try to implant in our minds. Some learn to see past it in time, and realize what it was hiding.

How, for the love of everything, is it even a thing for marriages to be legalized? The fact that this steaming pile of useless shit of a government can tell people who they can and can’t marry is absolutely absurd. Beyond disgusting and stupid as fuck. In what world this makes sense, I mean, if hell is a thing this has to be it, right?

The separation of church and state is a great way to keep a neutral government, but I honestly don’t see the point of these words if they’re not kept— and we all know they’re not. The government adapts what they think to be a universal and obvious religion, as if one religion, on belief, can suit every person. Obviously, we wouldn’t even need a government if we all thought the same way, believed the same things. Hence why we have this hypocritical government to begin with; so they can enforce their narrow faith on us, and keep us in line with their very limited viewpoint. But don’t worry, they’re only doing it so they can ‘save our souls’ *insert heavy eyeroll here*. But, of course, being the ones making the rules, they don’t even have to keep them.

Of course there should be rules and consequences in place for times where people are hurting people. Yet, the laws here don’t do that. Everyday there’s children being shot in schools equivalent to a day-prison, where they don’t want to be and already makes them want to die. Everyday there’s a woman raped, murdered, whether it’s by a stranger or her husband. Every single day in this country someone is getting hurt, in one way or another, and the government does not help them. If they can’t afford medical care, they’ll suffer and die from it. If they’ll lose their job or housing from reporting or divorcing, they stay in a toxic environment.

I always say, don’t get married, no matter what you do. Call that person you love your spouse, but don’t make it legal, because even just legalizing a marriage is expensive, let alone a ceremony no one wants to be at even more so, but you know what’s more expensive? Divorce.

Isn't it insane that signing papers to legally be bound to someone you love costs money?  That breaking away from that bind is even more expensive?

What is a society, honestly, that doesn’t do anything for each other?

All this government does is take and take and take, and they won’t even pass laws that ensure everyone can make a liveable wage so they can afford all their extra costs for the most random shit. And no, keeping to their stupid set of rules will not keep you from having to pay for them. They’re designed to push on you so they can always get something out of you. You can be a ‘model citizen’, but they’ll criminalize you for whatever they can, so they can charge the hell out of you for it, and stay safe and rich, while you work off expense after expense. That’s how the country keeps running on unfairness, by making the majority of people too busy keeping their heads above water to make those changes. They want us to struggle to survive, so we have no time or energy left to go after them. They don’t want us to be able to really live, to be able to afford basic necessities without a life-consuming struggle.

I circle back to the question, if they’re not going to help everybody, why do we even live in a society under the command of a government?

No wonder none of us want to be alive right now. What a futile world to live in.

There's no such thing as ‘that’s just the way it is', no, that's how humans made it. If someone says that, they benefit from it, they like the way it is, and they have no reason to question it. Alternatively, they could be resigned from trying to change it, because changing an ideal or a widespread ‘fact’ means changing people, and people love to live in ignorance, so they'll resist changing to their grave.

Death is the only sure thing in this life and they even put limitations on that.

If you don't want me to die, than why do you let people walk around killing people? If you don't want me to die, by my own hand, by my own choice, my own freedom of will, than why don't you make me want to live? They don't really care, they just want control, and if more people thought of suicide as an alternative to living this shitty life, than we'd be dying faster than we're even being murdered (and that's saying something). They can't lose citizens like that, it will look bad and it takes longer to produce more than they'd like. There goes their votes, there goes their tax payers. Not like these are the same people who print the fucking money or anything.

It's all about control for these power-hungry pricks.

Something I wrote back in May, but especially feeling this right now. Haven't edited and definitely want to add to it, but over, fuck the government.

[tickly-trashcan]

A Bad Regalia {Yato and Yukine}

A/N: Another one where another ask came in after prompts, so I’m assuming it’s a modification. I’m ashamed to say I still haven’t started seasn 2 of Noragami, but I love it so much so I’ll hopefully get to watching it soon! also every time I typed Yato’s name my computer autocorrected it to Yahoo, and that made me laugh. Anyways, hope you enjoy this one!

Summary: Yukine is being a rude and stubborn Regalia, and Yato’s had just about enough.

Word Count: 1.2k (under the cut)

“Oi, what was that back there?!” Yato yelled, letting go of his sword as it transformed back into a small boy.

He crossed his arms, sticking his tongue out at Yato as he turned his back.

“Yukine!” Yato exclaimed, completely exasperated.

“What?! We got the phantom, right? What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that your blade was completely dull! You know how much work that phantom was?”

Yukine pouted, slouching his shoulders as he tapped his foot irritatedly. “It’s your fault for being a stupid, no good god! I was supposed to be hanging out with Hiyori right now but noooo I have to deal with your gross, sweaty hands all over me!” 

Yato’s eye twitched. Did this brat seriously have that much nerve? Oh, he had a lot coming for him.

Yato got a sudden painful chill on his spine and he yelped, grabbing his neck before yelling at Yukine again.

“Hey, stop it with the dirty thoughts, you puny little pervert! I already told you that hurts!”

Yukine flushed bright red and threw his arms to the side, yelling back at Yato.

“I wasn’t thinking of anything dirty!”

“Oh, so you’re a perv and a liar, huh?!”

“Shut up!”

Yato crossed his arms, walking over to Yukine and dropping his fist on his head.

“Ow!” Yukine whined, grabbing the spot on his head when Yato pulled his hand back.

“You’re one of the worst Regalia I’ve ever had… I think I need to teach you a lesson.”

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do?” Yukine said smugly, grinning as he put a hand on his hip.

“I’m gonna… uhm… I’m gonna… get you,” Yato fumbled. He had never really done anything like punishing a Regalia before, he wasn’t really sure what to do. Yukine smirked as he turned around, walking away from Yato.

“Yeah sure, you’re gonna ‘get me’. Whatever, I’m gonna go hang out with Hiyori now,” Yukine waved nonchalantly at Yato as he started to walk off, hands behind his head.

“Where do you think you’re going? Wait!”

Yato reached out to grab Yukine’s shoulder in hopes of stopping him, but as Yukine continued to walk, Yato’s hand ended up on his side, grabbing it as Yukine yelped, jumping away from him as his hands shot to cover his side.

Yato blinked a few times as he stared at the blushing Yukine.

“You’re calling me a pervert? Don’t grab people like that!” Yukine exclaimed, turning again and walking away, faster this time.

A devious smirk crawled up Yato’s face as he realized why exactly Yukine had reacted like that, and he quickly chased after him. 

Yukine heard running footsteps behind him and turned to see Yato sprinting towards him, yelling his name. He squeaked, quickly running away from him as fast as his legs would take him. 

However, Yato was quicker, and he easily caught up with Yukine, grabbing him by his shirt collar as he yelped, falling on his butt as Yato grabbed his hands quickly, pinning them underneath his shin.

“Wh-What are you doing?! This is harassment!” Yukine yelled. “Help!”

Yato chuckled mischievously, raising his hands above Yukine as he wiggled his fingers. Yukine looked up at him in fear as he realized what was coming.

“No!” He whimpered, struggling in Yato’s grasp, both his arms above his head, leaving him completely helpless.

“This is what you get for being a bad Regalia!” Yato exclaimed, digging his wiggling fingers into Yukine’s ribs, making him arch his back as he shrieked.

“Y-Yatohohohoho! Nohohoho!” Yukine squealed, squirming around desperately. It tickled so bad! He didn’t have his arms to protect himself, and he was more exposed than anyone would ever want to be when they’re being tickled.

Yato smirked, continuing to dance along Yukine’s ribs as he rocked back and forth, completely helpless to Yato’s cruel tickling.

“Does that tickle, Yukine? This is what happens if you disobey your god!” Yato teased, poking between each rib, making Yukine squeak adorably with each poke.

“EEYah! N-NOhohohoho! I-I’ll be goohoohoohood! I promiseeee! GAHa! Not thehehehehere!”

Yato scribbled his fingers in the hollow of Yukine’s underarms, making him arch his back and tug on his arms desperately as his face went pink with embarrassment at the shrill sounds he was making.

“It’s not a matter of being good now, it’s a matter of getting what you deserve for being bad in the first place,” Yato stated simply, though it was just an excuse to keep tickling Yukine. The kid could use a good laugh, regardless of whether or not he was bad.

“Hey hey, should I tell Hiyori you’re ticklish? That’d be hilarious!” Yato laughed, wincing when he felt a sudden pain in his neck. “Did you just have another dirty thought?!”

“NOHOHoHoho!” Yukine lied, face now bright red from embarrassment and from laughing. Yato clicked his tongue, scratching up Yukine’s upper arm before digging right back in the hollow of his underarm, making him shriek and kick his legs around.

“You just added another ten minutes for that,” Yato joked, though the joke didn’t register with Yukine as he shrieked again.

“T-Tehehehehehen minutes??” He cried out, kicking his legs as he whined. “I cahahahahahan’t last that long! I-I’ll dihihihihieeee!”

Yato clicked his tongue again. “You can’t die twice, Yukine.”

Yato spidered his fingers down Yukine’s ribs again, now landing at his sides which he gave a firm squeeze as Yukine squealed, rocking from side to side in an attempt to shake off Yato’s tickly fingers.

“Stohohohohohop! GYAhahahaha! Plehehehease, Yatoooo!” Yukine whimpered, cackling loudly.

“Not until you’ve learned your lesson,” Yato said simply, scribbling his fingers along Yukine’s tummy as he screamed, kicking his legs out as he arched his back.

“NAHAHAHahahaHA! A-Anywhere but thehehehEHEHERE!” He screamed with hysterical laughter, squirming from side to side as he threw his head back, trying again to pull his arms back down.

“Heh, looks like you’re pretty ticklish here, huh?” Yato teased, poking Yukine’s tummy repeatedly as he giggled with each poke. “Is this a giggle button?”

Yukine blushed at the teasing. Between that and the tickling he was seriously about to lose his mind.

“I-I’ve lehehehehearned my lesson! Plehehehease, stohoHOHOP!” Yukine begged, tears now trickling down his bright red face as his laughter went from absolutely hysterical to silent.

Yato figured that Yukine had definitely learned his lesson at this point and pulled his hands off of the poor Yukine, letting him breathe.

He released his arms as well, Yukine instantly jumping up and covering his body, taking a few steps away from Yato as he breathed heavily, a few giggles still escaping his lips as he glared at him.

“Never do that again,” he said, scowling as Yato chuckled.

“Depends on how you act as my Regalia… If you behave I won’t have to do it again,” Yato said, shrugging his shoulders. Yukine’s scowl faded and he turned around in a huff.

“Whatever. I’m gonna hang out with Hiyori now,”

“No dirty thoughts!” Yato yelled at him as Yukine ran off, still hugging himself in case of Yato coming after him again. Yato chuckled to himself, putting his hands behind his head as he walked off. Maybe Yukine wasn’t a bad Regalia…

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #323

“dehumanized upon a shell  /  we came to bleed it dry  /  obsessed with divine wealth  /  divide and multiply”

Have you ever drawn on someone’s face while they were sleeping? No. Would you scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? No thanks. What is your favorite slow song? There are so many, but one of the slowest and most beloved of mine is "Obstacles" by Syd Matters. It gives me goosebumps without fail. It's one song I know I want at my hypothetical wedding. If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? I mean, yeah. I'd want to know their intentions. If your best friend died, would you be able to speak at their funeral? It'd be extremely difficult, but if I had any say in it, I absolutely would. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times it causes too much pain, depending on the pictures, of course. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? Definitely not. My life is painfully uneventful. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? I don't know. Do you have a house phone? No. Which fast food place do you eat at the most? McDonald's. Have you ever met someone on the Internet in real life? Yep. What’s your favorite color to wear? Black. Do you like being in pictures? No. Do you travel a lot? Essentially never, even though I'd love to. Do you play any sports? No. Do you like pickles? Yesssss. How many times have you been kicked out of a store? Never. Is there things you’ve told someone that you’ve NEVER told anyone else? Probably. When was the last time you had alcohol? My birthday dinner last month. Are you one to often make typos? No, except when I'm texting. I have autocorrect on for a reason. On a hot day, would you rather prefer ice cream or a popsicle? Ice cream. Have you ever wanted to get drunk and get your mind off everything? Yes, but I just didn't want to drink anymore at one point. I'm far from a lightweight, apparently. Have you played cards recently? No. Is there a band you like with amazing music but a bad vocalist? Mother Mother immediately comes to mind, but not the main singer; he's great. The woman who occasionally joins in is fucking horrendous. Like, it hurts my ears. Is there a certain song you like to headbang to? I don't and never have really headbanged, surprisingly. It's a sure-fire way to make me dizzy. Anything you might be giving up on soon? I hope not... Sometimes I feel like it's time with photography, but I just. Can't. Have you ever captured a moth? I've raised a caterpillar into one before, then of course let it go. Is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway? Otep, noteably. When was the last time you wore earrings? It's been a long time. How many pairs of heels do you own? I don't think I have any. When was the last time you changed your picture on Facebook? Uhhhh it's been at the very least a month, but I know more. Would you consider yourself to be physically strong? Absolutely not, especially my legs. I struggle to fucking walk because they're so weak. Have you ever painted a piece of furniture? Yes, actually. I helped Jason paint his shelf black. Do you have a really fat cat? No, we never have. We've always been good about keeping our pets at a healthy weight. Do your initials spell a word? No. When was the last time you went to a playground? A year or so ago when I was taking pictures of someone's son, as well as just general family photos. That same family just had another baby the other day. Have you ever made a business card for yourself? No. Do you have a favorite curse word in a different language? No. Are there any recipes you have memorized? No. Do you know your multipication times tables? Lol not most of them, no... It's been way too long. Do you have a favorite font on the computer? Of the basic ones, probably Garamond. Are you good at creating logos? *shrugs* I've only ever really made my photography watermarks, and I only JUST made one I like pretty well. How about catch phrases? I don't make those. Have you ever been severely burned? Not severely, no. Did you ever dream that you had a baby? I've actually had numerous dreams where I was pregnant, but I don't THINK I've had one where the baby was born yet. Do you or anyone you know have a rabbit? No. What was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road? Hm, nothing too weird, I think. Last song you got stuck in your head? "ALTÆR" by 3TEETH. Last song you listened to? ^ Favorite movie quote? I don't know. Maybe Rafiki's quote about the past hurting, but you should take that opportunity to learn. Favorite lyric? That is impossible. There are so, so very many that just like slather me in goosebumps. What magazine are you an avid reader to? None. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I have. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Man, take me the hell back to my WiiFit days. I was pretty damn fit. The last time I did it, it was seriously alarming how much I struggled doing things that were once pretty effortless. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? "Very" seems a bit too much, but Mom definitely kept it in order. How many watches do you own? None. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes. Emergencies happen. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes; my mom has a cousin who's gay. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? Not recently, no. If so, what was the reason? ^ What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? Oh, y'know, dropping out of college three fucking times. Once I pay my own bills and I truly understand finances, that's going to fucking wreck me. Do you like metal music? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck yeah. If so, what sub-genres of metal do you like the best? Heavy and symphonic. Who was the last person you sincerely thanked? My mom for bringing home lunch recently. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? Maybe like a month when I was technically homeless? How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? It was preeeetty rough. Do you like strawberry shortcake? No. What’s the last you got out of the freezer? A microwavable breakfast bowl. Do you go on the computer or watch TV more? Guess. Explain why you are single: Because I'm a very, very underdeveloped "adult" that has very little clue what she's doing. At my age, I and any potential partner should want someone with direction. What feature do you usually get most complimented on? My hair. Has anyone ever accused you of being gay? Well, I'm bi. I had this weird therapist once in middle school though who asked if I was a lesbian... Idk why she did? What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful? I'm in an advanced ball python husbandry group, and while a lot of people there are utter, degrading elitists, they do have valuable information. Did you name all of your stuffed animals and dolls? I sure did as a kid. What would you have your bridesmaids wear? Probably black dresses, and I think it'd be really cool if I were to marry a woman, the bridesmaids wear checkered Converses colored into a rainbow pattern, or something like that. Where do you want to go on your honeymoon? I think Alaska, if it was a good time to see the Northern Lights. Are you sick right now? No, thankfully. Do you feel loved? Yes. Do you like your butt? Why or why not? God no. I have such a flat ass. Are you ashamed of your faith? I'm assuming by this you mean religion, in which case, I don't have one and am not ashamed of that. Has anyone ever tried to force their beliefs on you? Yes. Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia? Again, I'm bisexual. I have never had a personal act of homophobia inflicted upon me, though. Have you ever been accused of being homophobic? Yes, because I was for most of my life. Fucking repulsive to remember. "Repulsive" is much too gentle a word, but yeah. It is so, so embarrassing to recall myself ever believing it was wrong because my then-religion said no-no. Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two pets. I would be so, so lonely without any. :/ I've had pets my entire life. Who was the last person you went on a date with? Sara. How long has it been since that last time you went on a date? Like two or so years. Do you think babies are cute? They can be, but I usually don't find them all that cute, honestly. Especially newborns/very young infants. They're usually hideous. My youngest niece is actually the only newborn that I remember seeing that I thought was absolultely precious. What is your favorite style of pants? Ripped skinny jeans. Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid? No. Who was the last person who broke your heart? Jason. ^Do you still miss this person? I'm sure I always will to some degree. Do you have someone to talk to and share your secrets with? Sara more than anyone, but Mom, too. Is there someone you feel extra shy around? Just men in general. Have you been hurt more by friend break-ups or romantic break-ups? Romantic. Closest living thing to you? My snake's terrarium is against the opposite wall. She's in her hide. Would you rather drown or burn alive? Drown. You go unconscious first, so. And I'd assume it to be faster than burning alive. Also me no like hot. :'''( Who is the last person you got really pissed off with? My stepmother posted some ignorant bullshit on Facebook about how people blow out of proportion our "supposed" environmental crisis. I nearly deleted her right then and there. I take that shit seriously. Most of her beliefs drive me insane, honestly, but she's a wonderful person at heart, so I just bit my tongue. Who was the last member of the opposite sex you laid in a bed with? Girt. What type of sushi do you like to eat? Never tried it, don't want to. Was the last person you kissed physically attractive? Yes. Do you have any flowers in your room? No. Do you know anyone that owns horses? Yes. Well, I took pictures for her family, anyway. Do you know anyone who has road rage? Who? Jesus, yes. My little sister. Is your mom a big health freak or your dad? Or neither? Neither are "big" health freaks, especially not Dad when you consider he smokes and knows it'll be what kills him. My mom is diabetic though, so she's reasonably careful. Do you know anyone who wants to be the president one day? No. What kinds of chips are in the cupboards? We don't have any. Ma tries to keep snacks out of the house for both hers and my sake. If you were going out with your celebrity crush, what would you wear? OH BOY idk. I'd probably spend days planning the "perfect" thing. Do you have any friends who have naturally red hair? I do. Have you ever cried when a teacher retired? Yep, my band teacher. He was incredibly loved by literally everyone. Do you have your mom’s or dad’s eyes? Neither's. They both have brown eyes. What’s the best date movie? We gonna have a problem if you don't watch The Notebook w/ me if I have it on lmao. How long has your current best friend been your best friend? Many years now. (: Do you swear and yell while playing video games? I might swear under my breath, but I don't yell. Would you rather name your daughter Andrea or Eva? Andrea. If you were adopted, would you want to know? Yes. Do you know anyone who has grossly skinny eyebrows? I couldn't care less about someone's eyebrows. Do your pets chase after bugs? Oh yes, Roman certainly does. When’s the last time you were so excited you couldn’t sleep? Why? Hmmm... this actually happened recently, but I don't remember why... What is your mom’s favorite movie? I don't know, actually. I think it's some romance one. What TV family reminds you of your own family? None, really. Do you know anyone who always looks perfect? Who? One of my best high school friends Alon was like... just always pristinely beautiful, it seemed like. I haven't seen many pictures of her lately, but I'm sure that hasn't changed. Has anyone you know ever pulled the fire alarm in school, joking around? I think so once, yes. Who was the main character in the last book you read? A dragon named Sunny. Who are the last people you saw kiss? On the lips, I'm sure it woulda been my sister and her husband. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Clouds, I think. Well, it would depend on their design, I guess, and time of day. When you get married, who will be the maid of honor/best man? Probably my mom. Does your best friend get along with their parents? She has a wonderful relationship with them. Have you ever been in a wedding? What were you? I was the fat, hideous, crying bridesmaid. ;x; Are you purposely hiding something from someone? No. What’s the most intimate thing you’ve discussed with a stranger? My suicide attempt with doctors. What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I always get fries. Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? No. Are you in an argument with anyone right now? No. Have you ever written a poem for someone? Yes. Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? My grandmother. Who is the person you are closest to that you’ve meet online? Sara. Have you friended your parents on FB? Mom, yes. Dad doesn't have one. What’s the last tourist area you visited? Chicago. Mice or roaches? Mice are precious, meanwhile I hate roaches. Did you give or get any Valentines this year? No. Well, Mom bought me and my sisters each a delicious candy apple, if that counts? What’s your homepage? Google. Is there anyone whose grave you visit? No.

[shaonsim]

There are so many of these tropes...! Enemies to lovers, soul mates (major weakness for this one), second chance.

You choose!

@medhasree

The amount of attention this game has gotten can be understood from me forgetting what this was before I had a light bulb moment and remembered that I had created a game for this. Because I love talking about tropes and story ideas, and because I love you, all three of these are answered bellow the cut ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Enjoy the wild ride that is me discussing tropes, talking to you and talking to myself, all in one place. 👌🏽

Enemies to Lovers

Do I enjoy this trope?

Well, I don't know, there is this show called Dhrubatara and I used to love it.. In one word, yes. I do enjoy this trope. Of course, there are some lines I would not cross, I have a comfortable limit and I stay inside that Laxman Rekha, if you will. Physical assault/abuse is usually a big, glaring NO, and everything that is perceived as worse than that goes hand in hand with this rule I have made for myself. In short, I don't like borderline abusive people, especially if becomes a common occurrence whenever the two people come face to face. I especially LOVE it if the enmity comes from both sides, and I have an odd taste for a enemies-to-lovers trope that ends with unrequited love [ the ANGST, the BEAUTY ]

Do I write fics (and/or original works of fiction) with this trope (enemies-to-lovers)?

Since my main fandom is Dhrubatara, of course I do. I have about three or four AUs and nearly all of them explore this same trope in various ways, so yes, my fics make full use of this trope. My original works are very bones and I am very ashamed to admit that I do not know if a enemies-to-lovers dynamic exists in them.

Is this trope a part of my current project?

Presently I am bouncing between two projects, and while the second project, a ON [cliché Bengali TV shows will always have their audience in me, at least for an episode or two, and this one toh I am following semi regularly, so obviously I need to give in to the writing bug] fanfiction lightly touches this trope, I don't think it meets the requirements of this ask. The other one though, my latest Dhrubatara fanfic... Depends. Is it an enemies-to-lovers trope if they have already done this dance before? Enemies-to-lovers-enemies-to-lovers, is this even a thing? You be the judge of that. And let me know if it counts.

Do I plan on writing this trope in the future?

Since many of my fanfictions depend on this trope, I guess yes, I do plan on writing it out, but the important thing is to write instead of daydream, and that's a battle I fight everyday.

SOULMATES

Do I enjoy this trope?

No, the all CAPS is not a symbol of my love and fascination for this trope. In truth, it isn't anything except I am using this phrase somewhere else and my phone autocorrected it here too, but I made the choice to leave it that way because I have a lot of opinions about this trope. For me, the beauty, the charm, the allure lies in the game of chance, the hit and miss, the ambiguity. The lack of surety that you have, indeed, found your soulmate. And, as an angst lover™, I need there for something to be at stake. Time, happiness, a sense of belonging. For me, the trope alone holds no charm, but the beauty is in the possibilities. The layers, the various directions this can go. What it means to have a living, breathing person complement you, what it means to know that there is a part of yourself you haven't found yet. I like how it is a gamble, a roll of a dice, how all you can trust, is your instincts, and how love might fool you into believing that you have found your soulmate, because at the end of the day, the voice putting the stamp on the person? It is yours. I loathe soulmate AUs and tropes where there are numbers involved, or writing on the skin, or injuries. Nearly not enough room for doubt chaos, if you ask me. And if it is not chaotic, what's the point of that, right? Right? I did a role play with someone where people got tattoos when they reached adulthood but they faded if one didn't find their soulmate within a year. That's the kind I like. But the kind I love, which one is close to my heart, the one I consider to be the true soulmate trope? There are no signs. Or maybe, there are plenty. It is everything and nothing, beauty and chaos and it thrums with the force of life.

Do I write fics (and/or original works of fiction) with this trope (soulmates)?

Few months ago, I would have answered in negative. But now I have a RP we never got to finish and a fanfiction in the making, so there you go. I have bitten the bullet and I have started planning things for a trope I used to hate so much, and I was only able to do it when I realised that my Soulmate AU does not have to follow the conventional ideas surrounding that trope.

Is this trope a part of my current project?

Well, I always have multiple projects in multiple stages, mostly inspiration and planning rather than in the drafting stage. I have one in the planning stage and oh I have so many plans for it, you can thank @litchicake for that <3

Do I plan on writing this trope in the future?

Yes. First for the thing I am planning, and if it opens up possibilities I hadn't considered before or if there are ideas I cannot properly explore in this fanfiction, then sure, I'll write more.

Second chance

Do I enjoy this trope?

Yes. Second chances are everything, and they have room for the features of both established relationships and a fresh love story, and the more I [ or other writer/creator(s) ] can play around, the better it is. Of course, the relationship and the things that destroyed the first chance should be within limits (same as the enemies to lovers one, but I am usually slightly lenient about emotional manipulation and such with second chances).

Do I write fics (and/or original works of fiction) with this trope (enemies-to-lovers)?

Fic Which Must Not Be Named is based on this same trope, and I also have other fanfiction and things planned for character redemption as well as entire stories and relationships getting a second chance, so it is a yes for this one too.

I wonder what you will have to send to get a no out of me. I like playing with possibilities.

Is this trope a part of my current project?

Throwback to naive Shaon who had thought that anything vaguely resembling 'current project' will exist in her life. Pass the glass of milk. I guess the answer is pretty clear from the above points, I simply hate repeating myself so I wrote nonsense.

Do I plan on writing this trope in the future?

Plans toh... My ideas thread has so many things that I put the deadline at December 2030, and no, that is NOT a typing mistake. I have plans Medha, I have so many plans and someone needs to (softly) scream at me to work on my WIPs. Which is why I made distapata but I have zero content to post there to pull people's interest towards my projects because I myself don't know the details... Shaon why are you like this 🙄

[sugarstarlights]

an intervention

> Your almost whole-ass mental breakdown had gone several hours in various stages, and leaked onto your blog surprisingly little given some people’s reaction. ‘Your blog’s a disaster’, well so’s yours buddy, am I right. At least that reaction had immediately led to Seculus hauling feathery telepathic tail to the formerly empty clubhouse; this was a good thing because when it came to the specific thing you were ‘freaking out’ about tonight, ae’d witnessed almost all of it firsthand, so no explanations necessary. Well, almost no explanations. And almost empty. Now that you were paying more attention to the rest of the apartment you noticed your puppy was whining by the kitchen. You weren’t really able to process this before one of the locked bedroom doors opened, and the other angel abruptly appeared around the corner of the hallway, peering into the living room at you with obvious concern. 

You’d already jumped up hurriedly from the couch and in the process knocked over a tower of bottles you’d been slowly building before she got here, so at least they didn’t have to actually see that. What a mess though, still, you could only imagine, if your vision wasn’t fairly blurry. You were a mess too, obviously, but one who had recently figured out autocorrect and has a doctorate in lying, so you’d made a good act of that fact not existing. An attempt was made at moving a bit closer just so she wouldn’t rush over and touch you, but you only made it a couple steps before having to lean on the arm of the couch.  They were poking your brain already, something you’d only ever let aer do in decent conscience, and made no attempt to hug or help you up, but moving closer regardless to perch on the end of the other piece of furniture you’d dragged onto the teleporter pad. To keep out intruders. (And keep yourself in.) She looked at you in expectant silence for a moment and, getting the cue, you made an attempt to flash through some specific thoughts surrounding what you’d gotten yourself worked up about, hopefully quick enough that you’d forget them again in a few seconds. They nodded for a moment, closing their eyes to see it better or recall something about it, but this last bit caused them to frown. “You know, that if you don’t think about all these at some point they’ll just continue catching you by surprise forever....” In no way were you prepared for verbal communication, throat feeling glued shut, so you didn’t.  It would be just as bad whether I thought about it once or a trillion times, you argued, They made sure of that. Embedded it in every particle of your body, several times over. A woodstain that wouldn’t wash out, in the numb hinges of your hands, stiffness of your back and the body that just never felt like yours anymore. Their grip on you was perpetual and complete and the strings were only getting tighter. “Yes, I know it feels like that...because it’s trauma.” No it isn’t! It’s mental manipulation, “They knew what They were doing to make me a certain kind of usefully fragile! They planned this all out from the start, a blueprint for the perfect puppet.” A weird core-burning anger had been gripping you in bursts for some of the evening, resulting in a few hissing red sparks tossed from your hair; and though this one was directed at Them and not Sec, it still made her flinch, both your sudden actual voice and the bitter clarity of what was said, which was rather surprising giving your intoxication. Or maybe not clarity, but it was some kind of bitter anyway. “.....okay,” ae carefully muttered in return, “if.....you do really think. This was all on purpose, and that’s the only reason you’re the way- ....having the troubles you are. Then wouldn’t the best thing to do be to fuck with Their plans as much as possible?” This contribution from Dexter didn’t seem to be the intended wording, but it it got the point across, though Sec winced and added “By getting better. By, getting better and reversing some of the brain paths they made for you....make Them upset, because you figured out you weren’t Theirs. “...and you aren’t. You’ve done so much lately to improve and be yourself the way you want to, you’re as real a person as you think I am to you. If that. Helps......” The nervous bird fiddled with her necklace for a moment, afraid she’d overstepped. You stood unmoving, avoiding eye contact to think about the pros and cons of this suggestion. Like getting away completely was even an option at all, now that They have part of your soul in Their pocket, you idiot-  “-You can be free, it can be done,” Sec interrupted your train of thought with some urgent positivity. “...you know the place had me too, but I made it. Didn’t think so, but I was wrong...” “Don’t compare that, They wanted you gone. And now They’ll probably never see you again; They always get what They fucking want.” “..but we still....did.... [Your situation is just as dire to be sure, given the backdoor access to your soul They possess but you should be aware of our general theory that so long as you keep that amulet on at all times, you would be safe from anything worse than Their call.]”  At Ish’s sudden posture and reminder you frantically patted down the front of your shirt. You weren’t wearing it, goddammit- wait. Okay. It was in your shirt pocket, that’s fine. Or is it? Maybe it didn’t work if it wasn’t making skin contact, you’d thought about that before and forgotten hadn’t you, you immediately fix that and Ishael watched intently.  “[Whether the proximity matters or not is uncertain, but it is quite possible that the extra few centimeters of fabric allowed a bit more than just that to reach you. As we were saying-]” “Can I talk to Sec again? Hell, I’d take Dexter, I just can’t do a lecture right now. Any other time but now, really, but if I stand here and listen I’m going to take root.” “Oh, I suppose, sorry....that’s....but, um, what he was saying was relevant, They....uh......” (The more she thought about what they had been about to warn him of, the more the ways it would make his paranoid current train of thought worse became obvious. Tell him They could potentially influence his thoughts and feelings? Maybe even alter his soul from afar? That was the last thing he needed.) “....just please wear your amulet, at every moment. If you can do that, of, course,” “That I can do.” You were dizzy again, if they weren’t going to touch or lecture you, you could at least stop putting so much effort into standing, and you did. Your legs couldn’t hold your weight, ball joints had that problem, and the leaning you’d been doing put the view through the miles of forest between you and your eyes at an annoying angle to watch from. Sec wrung their hand and stared worriedly at the side of your head for these thoughts, as if trying to drill through your skull and find where you were in there. It wasn’t really working, and you just wanted to close your eyes for a minute. Your arms were already falling asleep, “*Wait, Mads, your puppy hasn’t eaten???” Jack’s voice surprised you but it was when you processed the sentence that you jolted upright. Of course he’d been whining, you evil piece of shit- “*Stop it pleeeaase, you didn’t do it on purpose but we can do it now!! Really fast!” He was right and you had to do that immediately, but in your rush to stand up and almost sprint towards the kitchen your foot caught on a table you’d moved yourself earlier, and you went down like a felled tree a few feet away from the animal you were so urgently moving to feed gave you scared eyes and backed away into the corner of the room. ..you’d been thinking about this earlier, but you didn’t think it’d happen so soon or from this of all things, but then again you’d been louder, and less attentive, and moving so much and so strangely and of course he’d hate you after hearing about any of this object shit,  “Madison, he doesn’t understand what you’re going through and he can’t be disgusted, but you’re very drunk and seeing you. ..seeing you this far gone, calling yourself these horrible things that only hurt you and so convinced of....believing things They’ve made you think because you won’t share anything even to prove Them wrong, and turning your feelings and your head off just to stop, you’re not yourself at all like this, it...hurts to watch, I’m scared for you, you...he’s....Bo’s scared for you,” she projected onto the stressed out dog, shuffling over to sit hugging their knees near you, still on the floor.  “And....I’m sure I’m not the first to say this, but it clearly isn’t working. To do that, to stop thinking about things. ...you do it before even talking to anyone and it always makes things worse, doesn’t it, or you hurt yourself, or feel ashamed in the morning, or, all........” It was difficult to see why you did it so often, but with the vague understanding they’d developed of alcoholism, the logic of addiction was there.

You utilized the excuse of having your face in the carpet to organize this distant whirlwind of things to process without focusing on vestigial things like the existence of your body. It was really a lot, and she was right, you were very drunk, and very dissociated, and it was very annoying how right she probably was. But more importantly, you hadn’t fed Bo and he was scared of you drunk. These were at the forefront as you put the other acknowledgements of emotional problems in bottles for never, and finally pushed yourself to your feet, swaying on the way to the kitchen to find the bag of food he seemed to like, and Sec followed like a shadow, taking quick stock of the visible alcoholic drinks scattered along the counter. Tempting, but the sharp thought of being looked at with fear cut that idea short for now. 

Seculus held up the bowl for you to pour into; soon the dog was eating and seemed slightly happier. You, meanwhile, stood a ways away, unsupported by the couch and with a blank stare on your face. Sec scampered back up beside you after having gathered some bottles up in a trashbag, and quietly asked if ae could touch you yet. You threw the vague equivalent of a nod toward the front of your brain and they lowered an arm to your side, gently folding their fingers around your hand. Yours was still a bit numb, but the cold bit through.  ..You’d finally come up against something you couldn’t argue with as a decent reason to change some more. Not a being or guilt you could ignore, and the risk that he might go hungry.. You’d have to really legitimately stop drinking, huh. “Well, yes, you do...but we’ve been asking you too anyways for such a long time, this would be seen as an improvement in every case....for your health, I mean.” Sure it would. But whatever. It was just something new to suffer through, except this time without the groggy freedom of forgetting to lighten the load, hm, actually this was going to be literal Hell. The bad one. “But we’ll be here for you the whole way, besides I ‘we’, I mean, Simon and Zion and Taes as well, you just need to ask us for help. Please. Sometimes...and. Speaking of which.”

“No, hold on-” “-My therapist is very nice, and very nonjudgemental, and specifically sees nonhuman patients, and he already knows how angels work from us, mostly, so maybe that would help with-” “I’m not talking to a stranger about my shit, how many times do I have to say that!” “...Madison, tonight was a very bad night. You can’t possibly argue that.” This one you could concede, the sheer bounds to which you let your head take a few sparks of recollection, from a determination that you had no free will or remnant of personhood to a vast conspiracy about what They’d done and going out of your way to find things that made you think about yourself and your existence in the worst ways possible and sharing these things on your public blog. Not to even mention the drinking binge. None of it was something you’d be happy you’d done in the morning, but you had no idea how or if talking to a ‘Mental Health Professional’ about it would possibly help. No amount of catharsis would weed out the inanimate wood replacing you from the inside outward. “Talking about it at all can give you another perspective than what They gave you. Working through what happened lessens the blow when it comes up...He can help you see yourself as a person. I was- that was what we worked on for, a bit, still sort of are, those thoughts aren’t reality and you’ll be able to understand....” Ae raised their other arm to wrap around you from the front, giving you a quick hug at the heart twist of hearing your horrifying conviction, and you didn’t process it enough to resist in any way. Which was for the best, you honestly needed it; a grounding touch that activated the nervous system you’d forgotten you had and making you shiver. “...you’re a wonderful person, and you deserve to exist for yourself. I, think so anyways....” ...maybe. Maybe, after you were through withdrawals, one time, just to see if it was worth the strain of talking about your feelings and having someone hear it. Maybe it could help somehow. “No, sooner, please, it will help you not drink as often, really. I can- Oh,” You’d slipped out of their arms to sink to the ground, legs crossed, watching Bo lick his bowl clean and look at you still a bit nervous, but lovingly. You couldn’t be a good pet owner if you didn’t do this, huh. (That was clearly the one and only reason this seemed worth doing.) But it was. Something you’d have to think more about in the morning, once you could actually think. And you Would, probably, you’d hold yourself to that, as would Sec as she quickly set an alarm to remind you in the morning after the inevitable hangover. 

Ae sat down beside you, you let out a long sigh and leaned against them a bit, as your pup zigzagged over to you. In the morning, then. But for now, with Sec’s long-dreaded Important Conversation complete (or temporarily on hold), they were here to distract you from these thoughts, and took you outside a bit later to get Bo some fresh air and look at stars and show you how to skateboard, making it a goal to, for the moment at least, forget the vast threat They posed and the marks They’d left on you. Which worked, partially at least. You still felt far away, and the morning was still looming, but at least this one nightmare was good for something.

[alltherecs]

SHORT:

“I never asked for you to be perfect.” “Want to come upstairs?” “Don’t worry, I’m over it now.” “You are so full of it.” “What do you mean ‘oops’?” “You’re the best, you know that?” “I can fix that.” “Do I want you to go? No.” “Yes, I’m naked and no I’m not ashamed.” “It’s not helping.” “How was that your first reaction?” “I feel lazy and it’s great.” “I even respect what you did.” “This is a terrible plan.” “You will just have to be okay with that.” “I’ll always have a soft spot for you.” “I will make this kitchen my bitch.” “Are you going to leave me again?” “No, I think I’m going to head home.” “I knew that.” “I’m melting. I’m actually melting.” “Want to marathon Chopped?” “Come cuddle me.” “I’m sorry I snapped at you.” “You could’ve tried harder!” “This is really not a good time.” “I need refuge, my AC/heat went out.” “Is that a car seat?” “I don’t like your clothes. Take them off.” “Baby, have you seen my tie?” “Walk me home?” “God bless that ass.” “What do you miss the most?” “If you’re gonna talk shit at least do it right.” “Morning babe, what’s for breakfast?” “Oh! Were you talking to me?” “Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!” “In the morning, I’m making waffles.” “You’re kind of growing on me.” “I think I love you.”

RANDOM:

“I can’t understand you when you talk this fast.” “No, no, no… not now. It’s way too warm for sex.” “Nope, that’s just…wrong. You got it wrong. Fix it. Now.” “Do you need anything from the grocery store?” “I don’t want it to be awkward for you either.” “Hey, help me move this to the attic/storage room please?” “I look at you, and all I can think about is how much better you deserve.” “I’m done screwing around. I want a real relationship.” “You either owe me a hundred cookies or a really expensive bottle of vodka, but that’s your choice. I’ll happily take either.” “Are you okay? It’s not that high up, really. Come and look, the view is beautiful.” “I’m not saying that’s the cause of all your problems but…” “How did you manage to destroy my kitchen, again?” “Can you tell that I don’t care or do I need to make it more obvious?” “I don’t know what that means—it’s not true but…” “I’m sorry for waking you… I had a really bad nightmare.” “Should I apologize or leave? …I’m just gonna leave.” “Is that your idea of an apology? Because it’s not very good.” “Grab that mat out of the closet, we can go stair sliding.” “Are you even happy here with me and the things we’ve got?” “Shh, it was just a bad dream. Just a dream, okay? None of it was real.” “I used to fix everything at my parent’s house, don’t worry.” “There will be ice cream…” “I don’t need a drill sergeant. I need a friend.” “If you’re that hot, then why don’t you take something off?” “I need you to bring me a new set of clothes and a hug.” “This is a joke, right? Quit it, it’s not funny.” “I don’t speak German, but I’m pretty sure that dude just said ‘go fuck yourself.’” “My god, those are good genes.” 

TEXTING:

[text]: Are you home? Because I’ll be at your place in 5 and I picked up a lot of that takeout you like.” [text]: Fucking autocorrect, sorry. [text]: Because I’m an asshole with a really big heart? [text]: I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life [text]: Give me a few days to overthink about it [text]: I just wish I had told them nevermind. [text]: What are you doing later? [text]: My secret talent is getting tired without doing anything. [text]: Hey, you up for a 1AM grocery run? [text]: Who is this? [text]: I either want to set you on fire or make out with you, I can never tell. [text]: I want candy. [text]: Tell me the dirtiest joke you can think of [text]: Did you just see that hit on ‘________’? Dirty pool, man. [text]: Okay that’s cool, but consider the following: snuggling with me until I fall asleep [text]: But here’s the annoying part… [text]: Fuck it, we do what we want.

[skaylanphear]

RIP me I was using my phone and it autocorrected. My question is: Do you have any advice for writing during times of burn out either due to fandom or work/life?

The best advice I can give for this is to take a step back if you’re feeling burnt out no matter the reason. 

When I was in art school, I put so much pressure on myself and pushed myself to the point of a severe depressive episode and I’ve never recovered. To this day, I can’t draw without feeling anxious and upset, which makes it near impossible to do. And, I mean, I used to draw like I write–all day, every day, drawing, drawing, drawing. I was accepted into a prestigious art program on the spot at portfolio day, which doesn’t typically happen. Like, that’s how into it I was. 

So if writing is something you love, you also have to know when to take a step back. Because too much of a good thing can be bad. Just this Christmas, I was so stressed with work and life that I didn’t write hardly anything, and that’s okay. You shouldn’t feel ashamed if you take a break, even if that break ends up being a couple months. At the end of the day, you should be doing what you want to be doing, and if you’re feeling burnt out and don’t want to write, then don’t. 

Don’t push yourself to the point where you break, because I’ve been there and it’s a hard road back. That’s why I’ll never take a job that involves writing unless I’m in creative control, because I won’t destroy writing for myself the way I did art. 

So take a break. Spend your time watching crappy anime or youtube videos or go outside and just chill in the grass instead. Like, your hobbies are hobbies, not obligations, and if it ever gets to the point where it feels like an obligation–where you start to feel guilty for not doing it–then you need to take a step back and reassess the situation. 

Don’t let the things you love become things you hate. It’s the worst feeling in the world. 

Now, as far as writing being something that helps you when you’re burnt out from something else, I guess do it then if it helps? But… I assume that’s not the advice you were looking for. If writing is difficult because you’re burnt out on other things, then, like I said, don’t stress about doing it. 

Like, I say I write every day, and that when I don’t feel like writing, I force myself through it. And I do, but only when I’m in a healthy mindset. When I’m burnt out or stressed, that changes everything. Your health as a person should come first, and if something you love is hurting you, it’s okay to just… walk away for a while. 

[kago-mae]

Possibly chapter one of a possible fanfic !?

Okay so I’ve saying I’m going to write a fanfiction. I’ve been putting it off because I was stuck. And I’m still stuck. I wasn’t sure where I would place this in a story. Like should this be the opening or something in the middle but I figured I would write down the idea and possibly build a plot around it. But I’m having horrible writers block and don’t know where else to go.

So I appreciate feedback! Don’t hate me too much this is my first. Without further a do here we go!

Side note: I know I made spelling errors. My autocorrect is pretty shit. And I’m being lazy right now and don’t want to go fix them all. oops

Kagome had been dispatching the throws of demons with her arrows giving her friends the space and freedom they had needed to take of the more important issues at hand. She took notice that oddly the only person not there was the one person she had expected to be there. Kikyo. The priestess was no where to be found, and it was indeed odd. But Kagome kept her thoughts on the matter at hand. Naraku. This foul demon was giving them everything he had and as much as they advanced on him, he drove them all back ten fold. She was becoming frustrated. She wanted this to end and wanted it to end now. From the corner of her eye she could see inuyasha and surprisingly sesshomaru working in tandem fighting off Narakus incarnations. That’s when she saw it, the faint glow of soul collectors manifesting through the dense forest on the outskirt of the clearing. And then came another surprise, the tingle she felt on her skin from the priestess’s energies sent a chill down her spine. Then the inevitable happened, a brilliant blue arrow boomed through the throng of trees and into the clearing whirling past inuyashas head no doubt catching his attention. The incredible rush of power had drawn the attention of both inuyasha and the lord. Just the opportunity Naraku had been waiting for. He had sent his tentacles hurtling towards the brothers, knocking inuyashas sword and sesshomarus tokijin from their hands. Both stood dumbfounded. Narakus laughter bellowed all around them. Kikyo came forth, her soul collectors gliding behind her. Inuyasha was at a loss for words, and lord sesshomaru stood claws ready, standing on guard after having composed himself after being disarmed. He was the great lord sesshomaru and didn’t need a sword to kill.

He never understood why his brother had such devotion to this dead woman, betrayal and hatred seeped from her very soul. Even now, she flaunted her hatred for him, and attempting to make his brother suffer even more at the hands of the man that had tore them apart. He could sense a turmoil of emotions coming from the living priestess, and hung his head at how foolish his brother had been.

All the while kikyo sauntered about and taunted the group, Naraku had been busy calling forth the bits and pieces of his body strewn about the carnage. Kagome had seen this from the corner of her eye and she froze, the image of sesshomaru run through Narakus tentacles burned into her mind, she felt sick, her knees buckled and she hurried to right herself. She saw it, saw naraku go for his heart, in that instant she just ran, she lounge in front and swung her bow and repelled the appendage but not before she was quickly grabbed by her foot and pinned to the ground. That is how she ended up in the position she found herself in. She struggled in his hold trying to break free but her attempts were fruitless. She had no where to go, and not a weapon to save her. her friends stood in hopeless shock being held at bay by a barrier kikyo had erected.

What was she to do. Narakus hold on Kagome tightened, and he chuckled as he readied himself to sever her head from her body, she knew what was coming and wouldn’t accept her fate, not yet. She had to save her friends if it meant her life. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the recognizable gleam of metal and thought that this was her chance and thanked the gods. In one fluid motion she flung her arm out and grasped the hilt of the sword, and swung it high into the air. To their friends dismay she had grabbed hold of tokijin sesshomarus evil sword. Her eyes were a blaze in white rolling to the back of her head, she fought to keep her hold on the sword. Her power surging forth in a deafening roar, the hissing green of the sword blossomed forth overtaking her for a moment before a sudden surge of power and rushing forth and a brilliant display of purple shot forth into the heavens and a voice unlike Kagome called out “dragon strike” and the purple stem of power rained down into Naraku decimating his body.

The group of friends all stood unmoving. Naraku’s body had be torn asunder by the demon blade and the downpour of putrid flesh had seized and the clang of metal rang out as the blade had slipped past her fingers. No one had wanted to move, the once thunderous battlefield was left eerily quiet and not a sound could be heard from Kagome. It made Inuyasha’s heart stop dead. “She couldn’t be could she?” He asked him. He wanted to take that step towards her, he wanted to go to her but his body wouldn’t move. The moment seemed to drag on for an eternity and to everyone’s surprise it was the Lord that has made his advance on the priestess.

He wasn’t sure what was driving him but he had to see her, he just had to. He scoffed as he breezed last inuyasha. “Such a fool”.

He was a lord and was always prepared for anything, but what he saw when he finally reached her was something he couldn’t be prepared for.

Her body was lain crumpled on the ground, blood and entrails had covered her. She was barely recognizable under its inky black and the air was polluted by the stench of burnt flesh and death. This frail woman was still breathing, still narrowly clinging to life. He dropped down to his knees in the dirt before her, and slowly wiped away the blood from her face.

Kagome’s mind was lost in the fog of the aftermath. Every nerve in her body was screaming with pure rage her skin sizzled and tore open under the unrelenting force of the blade. Under the thundering of her skull she realized that the field had grown quiet. “Did they all die do my foolishness?” “Did I kill them?” “Please let them be okay.” She said to herself. The longer the silence endured the grip of panic on her heart tightened more. She couldn’t take it. She had to know. Her thoughts became frantic, and her heart was beating at break neck speed, the fog was slowly clearing from her mind and reality set it. But her attention was drawn away from her thoughts when she heard the faint footfalls coming her way. A clawed hand touched her face and stilled her racing heart. Once the veil had been lifted from her eyes she found herself looking into the amber depths of the western Lord. His face was an unreadable array of emotions, his hair a curtain falling over them. Why wasn’t he saying anything?

He was gentle when he cleaned the blood from her face. He didn’t want to startle the priestess, and risk her power surging forth and licking his skin, but he was also gentle for the girls sake. His masked slipped and he tried to hide it just as quickly. Her eyes. A fog thicker than anything he has ever seen has taken up residence her one eye. The eye as white as his silken robes stood in stark contrast to the beautiful sapphire pool in the other.

Tears were pooling in her eyes, but she would never shed them in front of the western Lord. The silence between them was sickening. As his hand slipped away and he began to stand her arm had shot out towards him and she gripped his wrist. His alabaster skin felt cool under her heated flesh.

Two small words passed by her lips. “Forgive me”

And then the world went black again.

He lifted her frail body from the inky mess and cradled her close to him as he turned towards the group. They approached him with apprehension, slowly forcing their eyes to take in the sight of the beloved friend. Sango held fast to miroku and when her eyes finally fell upon Kagome she gasped and held to miroku tighter. Her chest constricted with guilt. Her hand reached out and brushed her friends forehead and turned herself away in Mirokus embrace it was hard to see her like this in such a state. Inuyasha couldn’t bring himself to look at her, he was ashamed. He should have been paying attention to her.

“Foolish little brother”

Inuyasha turned towards his brother and felt rage stir inside of him. But quickly squashed it. He had no right to be mad. He let the dead priestess could his judgement yet again.

“Where are you taking her?” He asked to the fading figure.

“To the west, where she will be safe.”

He hung his head in shame. She would be safe there in the care of his brother and his hurt him deep. He couldn’t protect her. He had failed her again.

[sippin-on-red-wine]

I’m thinking about writing fan fiction and you’re probably one of my favorite accounts on here and I was wondering if you could give me any advice/tips

😲 Thank you so much, love! Seriously, it never gets old. 

Also….. if you read my blog, you KNOW how much I love to give advice. I literally jumped out of bed (6AM) and ran to my laptop when I saw this Ask - LOL

I wish I were joking.

But yes, I would love to share all of the tips/knowledge that I have discovered in the past few months. I’d like to preface this by saying: I by no means am or think I am an expert! The fanfic here on my blog is the first bit of writing I’ve done in nearly ten years. Here’s what I know so far:

(Inserting a read-more cause this one really got away from me)

1. Let’s start with logistics. I highly recommend using Google Docs to write, and here’s why: You can easily access your stuff on mobile OR laptop. Changes are saved automatically. It’s very easy to share (with a link). The “track changes” is a super nice feature if you want to have someone read over/do edits for you – it will highlight their proposed change and you can either accept/reject it. Mostly it’s the convenience of having your stuff accessible anywhere, anytime at the drop of a hat. 

2. Decide what you want to start with. A full chapter story, or blurbs/one-shots? Try writing in a couple different perspectives to see which one comes most naturally for you.

3. Just WRITE. Have you seen those interviews where Ed is asked about songwriting, and he compares it to turning on a rusty faucet? I think the idea is “the more you write, the better you’ll be.” Just because you put the words down on a page doesn’t mean you have to keep them. I’ll admit, I’ve chucked away a good portion of stuff that I didn’t love. It’s like I knew I wouldn’t like it as I was writing it - BUT, I just couldn’t move past it until it was out. 

4. Inspiration for writing. This one is easy as hell, because you’re already on Tumblr. BUT, I sometimes find that watching videos of interviews/listening to certain songs, etc can really help put me in the writing mood. Sexy as hell gifs/pics of Ed don’t hurt the cause, either. 

5. THE BUDDY SYSTEM! This tip is my favorite. I was so lucky to have @becuzpurple to help me out when I was getting started. She gave me feedback and bounced ideas around with me and gave me lots of encouragement to keep going. I probably wouldn’t have ever actually posted something if it weren’t for her! And now I have a WHOLE GROUP! of lovely ladies to bounce ideas off of. So, I think this tip is super important. 

I’m happy to volunteer if you need a buddy! I get that Smut is probably not something you want to take to your Mom or BFF for feedback on. Honestly, all of the writers here are super nice, so take your pick. 

*Some of the smuttiest smuts are born from chatting with your person. 

6. If you’re more comfortable doing it this way, create a second account for your writing. You can use an alias/initial/etc as your moniker if you’d prefer to stay anonymous. Or just use the blog you have now – I don’t think you have anything to worry about. We seem to all be on the same page in this fandom (aka, the more Fic, the better!)

7. Ahh. I want to touch on this one because it was a concern I had in the beginning: the competition. I was so nervous about what the other fic writers would think of me, or nervous that I wouldn’t be able to write as well as they do. Or that there would be too many of us trying to write the same thing. I think I speak for us all when I say that we all have such different styles, that it’s a non-issue! And we’re even starting to do collab pieces because it’s fun to mix our styles together.

8. I’m going to go out on a limb and say you might be a classic over-thinker. Most of us are. Most writers are hyper-critical of their own work. Take a leap of faith and put your stuff out there. 

9. Don’t be afraid to be…. too dirty. I’ve gotten a lot of Asks in the past about people feeling ashamed to be writing or reading smut. I hope that no one reading this feels that way! Sex is normal & healthy and writing/reading about it is normal & healthy, too! It can feel a little taboo at first, sure, but trust me – that goes away FAST. Now I just have to be careful when I’m texting or posting to FB because my phone autocorrects things like “clip” to “clit”. SMH. #smutlife

10. I’m going to leave #10 open - any fellow fic writers have tips you’d like to add on? 

I hope this was even the tiniest bit helpful for you, Anon! And again, my door is always open - I’d love to chat with you (or anyone reading this). I’m a HUGE advocate for converting more Ed fic writers.

🌹 K

[oh-how-i-love-my-fandoms]

*sticks my atheist nose in*

I don’t get any of this religion stuff. So I don’t get why people are so mean about it. Damn, people on the internet are so unnecessarily mean.

To study a religion seems to mean two different things: studying the beliefs and practices for what they are in and of themselves, and studying the religion for what it is as a product of surrounding cultural context. Why, on a post about practicing witchcraft, which was clearly discussing the religion as a personal practice, @thoughtsandreplies felt the need to be a know-it-all and belittle the legacy of a stranger’s religion is beyond me. It’s not like @roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it was proselytizing. I’m atheistic enough that I consider it an important part of my identiy, and even I know that an unsolicited lecture to a stranger on the historical context of their religion with the goal of belittling it, and by extension them for being foolish enough to believe in it, just makes you a huge asshole. Let people enjoy things.

And Roomba could have called people such for it, but instead decided to go for insults like “cuck” “neckbeard” and “virgin.” I know I’m going to come off as a hypocrite for sticking my nose into a stranger’s business, but @roomba-with-knives-taped-to-it, I’ve followed you for a little while, and I hope you’ll consider what I’m saying when I say you’re better than buying into those sorts of insults. I’ve had panic attacks and couldn’t leave my home for a few days after self-identified incels murdered people in the name of their so-called oppression. The last thing we need to be doing is lending any credence to ridiculous notions like virginity being something to be ashamed of, or that sex is a measure of worth and ought to be acquired. I wish we’d knock that shit off. It makes the world a dangerous place. And the shorthand “neckbeard” is just body shaming. If a man is what that insult is supposed to stand for (immature, entitled, misogynistic, etc.), let’s just call him that.

@strawberry-banana-split stop pretending that occasional typos that don’t impede understanding of the text are any indication of the worth of an argument. Some people type on their phones. Sometimes autocorrect does weird shit. Sometimes published authors have social media that are riddled with little typos.

Anyway, I hope Roomba’s journey into witchcraft is fulfilling, and I hope people start being nicer to other people.

My parents are really happy that I’m growing out my hair and I’ve begun wearing dresses... little do they know it is because I have begun practicing witchcraft

[october31st1981]

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Sirius Black to Babe: u know it’s extremely rude to fuck in the house while ur babysitter is downstairs watching ur kid

James Potter to Hot Stuff: i don’t pay u to complain 

Sirius Black: u are literally not paying me

Sirius Black: i am doing this out of love for this little banshee

James Potter: we made u godfather. and u can have dibs if i knock lily up 2nite

Sirius Black: fine but at least play some music or smth christ what are u doing to her?????

Lily Potter to The Other Woman: Quit texting James while we’re fucking 

Lily Potter: Tho he is surprisingly good at multitasking 

Sirius Black to Sugar Tits: only if u make him call u daddy 

Lily Potter: Deal

James Potter to James Has A Daddy Kink: lupin will you look after harry next weekend? sirius is permanently banned from babysitting

Sirius Black: Still godfather m8

James Potter: not anymore remus is godfather now

Peter Pettigrew: am i not on the list??

James Potter: you will get on the list once u stop screaming every time he poos

Peter Pettigrew: fair enough 

Remus Lupin: Can I be godfather when Harry’s like ten? Babies are terrifying

Sirius Black: i will not stand for this betrayal 

Sirius Black changed the chat name to James Wanked To McGonagall For All Of Year 9.

Peter Pettigrew: pretty sure it was longer than year 9 👀👀👀👀

James Potter: it’s not embarrassing if ur not ashamed

Remus Lupin: If you’re gonna text me at work at least leave my colleagues’ names out of the group chat 

Peter Pettigrew: should u b texting while ur teaching?

Remus Lupin: The kids are using their phones to film for a presentation it’s fine probably

Sirius Black: see potter? he’s already showing he’s bad w/ kids he’s gonna let harry on the internet unsupervised

James Potter: harry is 1

Sirius Black: ur never too young 2 start developing abandonment issues 

Remus Lupin changed the chat name to Sirius Wanked to Yugioh in Sixth Form.

Sirius Black: listen here u little shit

James Potter to Ginger Spice: lily look!!!

Lily Potter to Daddy’s Girl: U have sent me 12 pictures of Harry dressed as a penguin in the past 2 minutes

Lily Potter: (((And I have loved every single 1 of them our baby is the cutest?!?!)))

James Potter: i fucking know right

James Potter: legitimately he’s better than other babies

Lily Potter: Our baby could take the Longbottoms baby in a fight

James Potter: our baby could take DUMBLEDORE in a fight

Lily Potter: I mean ur right but

Lily Potter: In what situation would our son be fighting the headmaster of our secondary school

James Potter: idk but he’d fuckin wreck him have u seen how hard he pulls on hair he’d rip that beard right the fuck off

Lily Potter: Tru

Remus Lupin to Jimbo: How did you get i’m a furry to autocorrect to i’m a furry

Remus Lupin: DAMN IT I MEAN I’M A FURRY

James Potter to Dances with Wolves: we’ve all known for a long time remus i’m not here to judge u

Remus Lupin: I’M NOT A FURRY

Remus Lupin: I’M A FURRY

James Potter: u seem to be experiencing some conflicting emotions

Remus Lupin: I’m trying to say I’M S I C K

James Potter: of hiding ur true nature as a furry? we’re sick of ur denial as well mate

Remus Lupin: You are officially disowned 

James Potter: ur not my real dad 

Peter Pettigrew to Remus is a Furry: so are u like a brony or do u dress up as a wolf and sniff people? 

James Potter: the 2nd one definitely 

Sirius Black: idk man i think i saw him eyeing one of harry’s picture books the other day

Sirius Black: does red riding hood get u going

Petter Pettigrew: lmao

Remus Lupin: Potter I’m gonna murder you

James Potter: just try it my son will avenge me 

Sirius Black: oooooo he’s got u remus what r u gonna do fight a baby

Remus Lupin: I will explain to Harry about how his father was a bellend and he will take my side

James Potter: lies. harry will never doubt my honour. just the other day peter sneezed on me and harry bit him

Peter Pettigrew: thought he bit me bc hes teething?

James Potter: irrelevant 

James Potter to Never Furget: remus did u change all my profile pics to screencaps from bambi

Remus Lupin to Jimmy Neutron: Why do you ask?

James Potter: bc everyone is commenting on them but i can’t see them or take them down what did u do

Remus Lupin: Maybe the universe did this to you James

Remus Lupin: The world is trying to tell you who the real furry here is

Remus Lupin to Jimothy: Did you buy me a fucking bunny?

James Potter to Froot Lupes: remus i know ur new to pet ownership but bunnies aren’t for fucking

Remus Lupin: James. Why did someone deliver a rabbit to my house

James Potter: i thought u could use some company

James Potter: since ur both

Remus Lupin: DO NOT

James Potter: furry

Remus Lupin: I’m moving to Australia

Remus Lupin to James is Not One of Us: Just because I’m keeping the bunny doesn’t mean you’re forgiven

Remus Lupin: It’s for the children. My students have fallen in love with it

Sirius Black: sure ““““ur students””” fell in love with it 

Sirius Black: speaking of children who r u gonna turn to now potter

Sirius Black: if i’m banned from babysitting and u and remus r on the outs

James Potter: pete’s still here 

Peter Pettigrew: yeah im still here

Sirius Black: peter tell me how you change a nappy without looking at wikihow

Peter Pettigrew: um

James Potter: our house has wifi? 

Lily Potter to Bambi: Peter Pettigrew is not babysitting for us ever again

Lily Potter: He flushed a disposable nappy today

Lily Potter: Naked Sunday is canceled 

James Potter to Faline: but it’s the day of our lord lily

James Potter to Boyz II Men: congratulations sirius ur hereby reinstated as godfather 

Sirius Black: good bc i’m thinking of getting a sidecar for my motorbike

James Potter: harry is not allowed on ur motorbike until he is at least 9

Remus Lupin: I think you’re forgetting how Harry got home from the hospital

James Potter: fine. harry is allowed if both lily and i are also on it

Peter Pettigrew: #parenting

Peter Pettigrew: i got fired today btw

James Potter: what? why???

Sirius Black: what did u do

Remus Lupin: Are you alright?

Peter Pettigrew: im fine 

Peter Pettigrew: director was just looking for “something else”

Sirius Black: that’s shit

James Potter: sorry pete 

Remus Lupin: Is there anything we can do to help?

Peter Pettigrew: idk maybe we could just hang out and talk?

James Potter: sure we can do that 

Sirius Black: i’m not good w/ emotional intimacy

Sirius Black: how do u feel abt alcohol?

James Potter to Meri Jaan: i msis u

James Potter: ur os pretty 

Lily Potter to You Are My Soniya: It’s 2am love

James Potter: i kno btu thsi is v importnat

Lily Potter: What is it?

James Potter: i lvoe sirius

Lily Potter: Unbelievable 

James Potter: and u!!11111

James Potter: also im srory if i pee on hte rose bsushes a gain

Sirius Black to Blossom Powerpuff: just so u know we’ve taken james’s phone from him 

Sirius Black: but he says i’ve gotta tell u that ur his favourite wife

Lily Potter to Mojo Jojo: I’m his only wife

Sirius Black: james says ‘irrelevant’ 

James Potter to Heart Eyes: love u’ve gotta stop sexting me while i’m w/ clients

Lily Potter to Poop Emoji: Why’s that?

James Potter: i’m developing some kind of pavlovian response

James Potter: every time i look at a surrealist painting i get an erection

Lily Potter: Paint me like one of ur french abstractions from reality

James Potter: sex fiend 

Lily Potter: U love it 

Remus Lupin to Lil Wayne: You and James need to stop have things delivered to my house

Remus Lupin: I promise you I can feed myself without a 15 year old dropping off a week’s worth of groceries 

Lily Potter to R. Kelly: Bread and chocolate is not a diet Remus

Remus Lupin: It has kept me alive this long 

Lily Potter: Ur lucky we don’t have u move in. James says ur too skinny these days

Remus Lupin: James is built like a broomstick

Lily Potter: ...

Lily Potter: I want to defend him bc he is my husband but.... u right

Remus Lupin: Then will you stop trying to parent me

Lily Potter: Don’t talk back to ur mother Lupin

James Potter to The Lady from the Bee Movie: evans r u wearing my jeans again

Lily Potter to Jerry Seinfield: No

James Potter: ur having a picnic with bathilda in her garden and harry and i are in our sitting room w/ the curtains open i can literally see u

Lily Potter: Maybe these are mine

James Potter: i’m almost a foot taller than u and ur jeans r not that long

Lily Potter: If they r ur jeans what are you going to do about it

James Potter: ur gonna catch these hands

James Potter: in ur own bc i love u

James Potter: but i still want my jeans back

Lily Potter: I want my pre-baby figure back m8

James Potter: touché 

Sirius Black to Cars 2: pete how would u feel abt modeling

Peter Pettigrew to The Lion King: funny 

Peter Pettigrew: hard to get an acting job thats not typecast 

Sirius Black: i’m srs

Sirius Black: i mean. u know what i mean

Peter Petitgrew: modelings fine. i’ve done some hand stuff

Sirius Black: sometimes when reg can’t make a job his agency will offer it to me

Sirius Black: and i told them i wouldn’t do it unless i could bring a friend

Peter Pettigrew: thanks... u didnt have to do that

Sirius Black: don’t make it weird peter just take the job 

Sirius Black to Peter Does Hand Stuff: i’m handsome right

Sirius Black: like i am good looking

James Potter: tru

Remus Lupin: yeah

Sirius Black: then how did i get kicked off a photoshoot so they could take more pictures of pettigrew

Peter Pettigrew: dorcas said it was bc ur face is too unnatural

Peter Pettigrew: no one looks like that in real life

Sirius Black: i look like this in real life!!!

Peter Pettigrew: anyway dorcas told me they want me to be the face of the whole campaign which is cool

James Potter: that’s fantastic pete!!

Remus Lupin: Congrats Peter!

Sirius Black: i can’t believe u would sell me out

Peter Pettigrew: were all just trying to survive capitalism sirius

Sirius Black: so money is worth more than our friendship

James Potter: sirius u don’t even like modelling

Remus Lupin: Also you don’t need the money, you’ve got your inheritance and your radio work

Sirius Black: i like to know who has a price they can be bought for

Sirius Black: in case one of us ends up murdered

James Potter: walburga really fucked u up huh

Lily Potter to Put A Ring On It: R u on your way home?

James Potter to Crazy In Love: on the tube

James Potter: did u want takeaway again? bc i kno the chinese made u sick the other night so maybe i can just get u soup?

Lily Potter: No I’m fine I just wanted to know when you were coming back

Lily Potter: I have news

James Potter: tell me. the man beside me is cutting his hair and it’s getting on my trousers. i could do with good news

Lily Potter: I’ll tell u when ur home

James Potter: evans u can’t just dangle news in front of me like that and then take it away i demand answers

Lily Potter: It’s in-person news

James Potter: r we getting divorced? is this bc i said prefer 7/11 to formation

Lily Potter: That is definitely grounds for divorce but no

James Potter: lily ur worrying me. is everything ok???

James Potter: i’m gonna call

James Potter: i’m losing service hold on

Lily Potter: James we’re going to have another baby

James Potter: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

James Potter: i love you. i can’t hold u yet so i’m gonna hug the haircut man

Lily Potter: <3 <3 <3

James Potter: i may have just told him we’d name our baby after him how do u feel abt the name christobal

Lily Potter: Hard pass

James Potter: u said that abt me once and now i’ve impregnated u twice so i’m gonna tell him maybe

Lily Potter changed the chat name to Sirius Has Dibs.

Sirius Black: r u hitting on me evans

Sirius Black: u do realize ur husband is also on this chat. i mean i’m up for a menage a potter but what will we tell harry 

Peter Pettigrew: james’s parents like adopted u this is definitely some kind of incest

Sirius Black: “Definitely Some Kind of Incest” is the black family motto

Remus Lupin: Tbh I’m surprised you don’t have a tail

Sirius Black: how do u kno that i don’t u don’t kno my life

Lily Potter: It’s good 2 know our children will have positive role models

James Potter: it’s too late for harry we’ll just have to get better friends with this one

Peter Pettigrew: ????????

Sirius Black: ur not

Sirius Black: U ARE

Remus Lupin: Congratulations?!

Sirius Black: UR HAVING A FETUS

Peter Pettigrew: BLIMEY CONGRATS

Remus Lupin: Wasn’t Harry born literally yesterday? You guys are like rabbits

Sirius Black: i can’t believe evans is ““in trouble”” again this is wild i bet it’s bc euphemia used all those metaphors while giving u the sex talk

James Potter: papa don’t preach

Sirius Black: i love it when u call me papa

Sirius Black: wait do i have dibs bc of.... u guys r disgusting 

Lily Potter: Does that mean u don’t want dibs?

Sirius Black: NO I HAVE DIBS ON ALL POTTER CHILDREN NOW AND FOREVER THEY’RE GONNA BE MY ARMY TO FIGHT REMUS’S SECONDARY SCHOOL KIDS

Remus Lupin: I can’t in good conscience send eleven-year-olds to war but on the other hand you’re on

Peter Pettigrew: £5 on the fetus 

Lily Potter: £1000 on the fetus Potter Progeny United

James Potter: this is why i married u 

[mf-despair-queen]

Tech Support - Stuart Twombly

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Stuart Twombly/Reader

Word Count: 4619

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Skype Sex, Masturbation, Oral (Female Receiving)

Notes: Shhh. I told @rememberstilinski and @ninja-stiles I would write them some Stuart stuff. Because Stuart is a babe and I couldn’t stop starting at him while I wrote other things. I guess Stuart is slowly beating out Stiles as my favorite since I write more for Stuart than anyone else? 

Stuart wasn’t particularly happy that he had to cover at the Google Helpline for a few weeks. He knew it was selfish to be mad at the guy he was filling the spot for. The guy who normally worked this spot had gotten into a car accident and was in the hospital. The doctors didn’t want to release for a while (Stuart wasn’t really sure why), which meant that someone needed to fill the spot until he returned.

Stuart also wasn’t sure why they had chosen him for the job. He wasn’t exactly the most social person at Google. Sure, he knew he was smart and could answer any question that came his way, but he was almost completely socially inept.

Stuart collapsed into the chair, putting his headset on. He dreaded the next few hours. This was exactly how he wanted to spend the day. Note the sarcasm, of course.

The phones rang off the hook, Stuart groaning each time he ended a call. Some of these questions were plain idiotic to him, and he wondered how people could even manage to work a computer properly. As his phone rang again, he rubbed his hand over his face and leaned his elbows on his desk.

“Thank you for calling Google Helpline. This is Stuart. How may I help you today?”

“Um…Hi Stuart. My name is Y/N. I’m having some trouble with my Gmail account…” your soft voice filled his ears and his heart jumped a little in his chest.  He wasn’t sure why, but a smile graced his lips.

“Well then, Y/N. Talk me through what’s going on and I will see how I can help. How does that sound?” He heard a soft giggle from you as he went about trying to help.

“Well…” You hesitated briefly, hoping not to sound stupid to Stuart. “My Gmail won’t load. I’ve never used it on my computer before. It always worked fine on my phone but I accidently threw my phone as this guy at McDonalds because he was being an ass.” You mentally slap yourself for telling him something like that. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that.”

Stuart laughed louder than he meant to, earning a couple of glances from the others in the room. “It’s fine, Y/N. I will go ahead and walk you through some steps and we will try to find the reason for this.”

He walked you through things, all while making small talk with you. He seemed like a nice guy, but it could always be an act because this is his job after all.

“Hey Y/N, if you don’t mind me asking, why exactly DID you throw your phone at that guy at McDonalds?” Stuart asked, while you were attempting to follow the instructions he previously gave me.

“He grabbed my ass while I was standing in line then pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about when I called him out on it. He followed me around the store and even sat at my table with me. When I tried to leave, he wouldn’t leave me alone so I threw my phone at him to get him to go away. It was the only thing in my hand and I didn’t even think about it till I was on the tile, crying over my shattered phone.” You told him, ashamed of the story you had just told him. It was not your proudest moment, that’s for sure.

He chuckled over the phone at you. “You must have nailed him pretty hard if it shattered your phone to the point that you can’t use it for your Gmail. But I’m sure he deserved it.”

I blushed, smiling into the phone. “Yeah, he did.” You swallowed the lump in your throat, not sure what else to say to him. “Oh look at that. Got Gmail working. You’re the best, Stuart. Thanks for all your help.”

Stuart frowned, not wanting the call to end so soon. “It’s no problem at all, Y/N. Please give us a call anytime you need help. I will be here all week to help you with your issues.”

You smiled into the phone, leaning back into the couch you were sitting on. “Definitely, Stuart. Have a great day.”

Stuart frowned as he hung up the call, removing the headset and dropping it onto his desk. He rubbed his hands over his face. He was crushing on a girl he had never met. This could not be happening to him. He shook his head, almost running from the room. He desperately needed air after that call.

You called every day for the next week and a half. You may have been purposefully causing issues just so you could call and talk to Stuart. Whenever he didn’t answer your helpline call, you requested to talk to him, giving the excuse that “Stuart has helped with this problem in the past, so he will know how to help me the most.” Luckily, no one ever questioned your pitiful excuse and transferred you to him on the spot.

Stuart wasn’t complaining. He enjoyed being able to talk to you every day. He felt like he was getting to know you little bits every time.

Today, you were having problems with your google wallet. Yes, you had entered some bogus information so it resulted in an error. You needed some reason to call and talk to him.

As you worked on fixing the issue per Stuart’s instructions, he was rather silent today. “Hey Stuart. Why are you so quiet today?”

“No reason really,” he replied shortly. “Just thinking.”

“Oh…ok. I got my wallet fixed. I appreciate you help Stuart.” You frowned, wiping a stray tear that escaped your eye. You weren’t even sure why you were crying. It’s not like you even knew the guy. “Have a great day.”

“Wait!” You jumped at the sudden reaction and dropped your phone on the ground.

“Shit!” You scrambled for the phone, falling off your bed in the process. Stuart heard the thump over his headset, and a long string of curses coming from your mouth. “I am so sorry Stuart! I dropped my phone. Did you need something?”

“I um…” Stuart gulped, his Adam’s Apple bobbed slightly with the action and his hand wrung the bottom of his shirt, nervous to even ask. “I was wonder…if I could actually get your phone number. I can’t see your phone number through the helpline and…I want to be able to talk to you outside of work too. I could even help you with all your technical difficulties too. If that’s ok with you of course! I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything. I mean um…”

Stuart trailed off, embarrassed he had even asked. He should just start apologizing now.

“Sure. Do you have a piece of paper ready?” Stuart blinked, unsure he even heard you right. He scrambled to find a piece of paper and a pen, digging through every drawer he had. Once he had found one, he happily wrote down your number. “Just let me know it is you whenever you text me. I can’t wait to hear from you then. Bye Stuart.”

“Same here. Bye Y/N.” Once he hung up the phone, he fist pumped the air, letting out a silent cheer. It was ridiculous to him that he liked you as much as he did. He had never seen you in person or knew who you were aside from the short phone conversations you had over the Google Helpline. He was happy, however, that he had gotten your number.

He texted you as soon as he got home that evening, and you guys spent hours texting each other. You wanted to know everything about each other.

You glanced at your phone as it vibrated for the millionth time that night.

[12:05 AM – From Stuart] So you never did tell me where you live exactly. Is it nice there?

[12:06 AM – To Stuart] Oh I didn’t? Well excuuuuuuse me princess. I live in San Fran of course!

[12:09 AM – From Stuart] Oh shit. Really??? So do I! We should totally meet up some time in person!

You bit your lip, hesitating on a reply. He was this close to you, and you never even realized that.

[12:19 AM – To Stuart] How am I supposed to meet you if I don’t even know what you look like?

You blushed and smacked yourself in the face. “What the hell did I just text him? I can’t believe I did that. He’s never going to want to talk to me again!” When your phone dinged again after a few minutes, you glanced at the display to see what he had sent.

[12:24 AM – From Stuart] -One image attached-

You dropped the phone in shock, landing with flop on your bed. He sent you a picture? Your shaky hand picked up the phone, clicking on the attachment he sent.

It was definitely a picture of Stuart. He was standing in from of a full-length mirror, showing off his full body in the picture. He was shirtless, his toned stomach in full view for you to drool over. His toned biceps were flexed slightly in the picture. The sweatpants he wore hung low on his waist, his v-lines distinct to you. A trail of hair led down his stomach, into his sweats, and you could only imagine what it led to. He had black rimmed glasses covering his eyes, but you could make out the distinct whiskey color behind them. His hair was sticking up in different directions, almost like he had just woken up to take the picture for you.

You stared at the picture a bit, the blush growing on your cheeks every time your eyes ran over it. Heat pooled between your legs and you rubbed them together where you sat, trying to relieve the pressure that was building. Your fingers flicked over the keyboard to respond, and you were grateful for autocorrect because you couldn’t spell properly at this point.

[12:29 AM – To Stuart] Holy shit. Fuck me man. Who knew the nerd that has been helping me on the Google Helpline was drop dead sexy?

[12:31 AM – From Stuart] I will take that as a compliment, even though you called me a nerd. And if you wanted me to fuck you that bad, you could have just asked.

You collapsed on your bed, your panties soaking wet from the last bit of that message. You couldn’t believe that he would say that.

[12:32 AM – From Stuart] Now do I get a picture in return? I want to see the beautiful face that matches the beautiful voice from the phone.

You glanced down at your outfit, wondering if it was acceptable to send to him. Your top was slightly see through so you could see your black bra with red lace under it. Your shorts barely covered your ass. You didn’t have any make-up on, and your hair was wrapped in a loose bun on the top of your head.

You took a deep breath before you stood in front of your mirror to take a picture for him. If he was going to send a sexy picture your way, you would return the favor.

[12:36 AM – To Stuart] -One image attached-

You chewed anxiously on your nails while you waited for a reply. You had never done anything like this, let alone with a guy you had never actually met in person before. You weren’t sure how he would respond to something like this. As soon as your phone dinged, you stopped breathing completely.

[12:44 AM – From Stuart] Holy fuck. You’re more beautiful than I would have ever imagined. I’m so hard for you right now.

You let out a small moan, before covering your mouth. Your thighs rubbed together more than before. You couldn’t take this guy seriously anymore. He was either fucking with you, or actually wanted to fuck you.

[12:48 AM – From Stuart] Do you have skype? Because I really want to talk to you right now, not just over texts.

You panicked, not sure if you should or not. You were flustered because of the texts this past hour, but you wanted to talk to him more as well. You texted him your skype name and grabbed your laptop off the table. You positioned it in front of you and tried to calm down before he called.

When his call finally came through, you were met with him slowly palming the tent he sported through his sweats. He groaned as soon as he saw you smiling at him. “Damn girl. Why are you so fucking pretty?”

You leaned forward, giving him a slight view down the front of your top. “I don’t know Stuart. You’re pretty eye catching yourself.”

He moaned, his eyes fixated on your chest. “Do you want to do something crazy?”

You eyed him slightly, shifting where you sat. “What would that be?”

“Masturbate with me.”

Your jaw dropped. “S-Stuart! You…” You swallowed, trying to think of what to say back to him. “You haven’t even had dinner with me yet. Why would we do something crazy like that?” Really? That was the best you could think of on the spot?

He groaned, his hand disappearing into his sweats. “We can change that. You can come over to my place tomorrow night and I will make you dinner. Now, please Y/N. Will you do this with me? I know we haven’t known each other long but…I can’t stop thinking about you.”

His words were sweet and sexy as the same time. Your hand unconsciously drifted to you clothed heat, feeling the wetness through your shorts. “I guess we can if you’re going to treat me to dinner tomorrow… But you’re going to have to tell me what to do. This is new to me…”

“I can do that babe.” He pushed his sweats down to his ankles and adjusted his computer into his lap. You could see his throwing cock resting on his stomach, the slightest bit of pre-cum dripping from the tip. He grabbed it gently in his hand, rubbing up the shaft with a grunt. “Start by taking off your shirt and shorts. I won’t make you jump into a full pussy shot yet.”

You blushed, your fingers finding the hem of your shirt. Lifting it over your head, you dropped it to the side of your bed. Stuarts groans got loud, his fist pumping his dick more. Your hands slipped down to your shorts, pulling them down your silky legs slowly.

“You’re trying to torture me, aren’t you?” His words were erotic, and you felt the wet liquid dripping down your legs. You sat with your legs spread out in front of the computer, your fingers rubbing over yourself. “Hot damn. You’re wet. I can tell. You should touch yourself for me.”

Your fingers slipped into your panties, rubbing themselves over your dripping core. You let out a moan and laid back into your pillows, almost forgetting that Stuart was watching you. You slipped a finger inside of yourself, your moans turning into pants.

“That’s right, baby. Just like that,” Stuart told you, his voice raspy. You glanced at the computer, his eyes boring into yours. He pumped his dick fiercely, not letting up for a second. “You should take off your panties so I can see you work yourself. I’m sure your fingers are graceful.”

You didn’t bother to protest as you slid from the wet fabric and resumed fingering yourself. Your other hand slipped up your chest and under your bra, grabbing at your breast. You moaned loud, clenching around your fingers. “Stuart, I think I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it baby. Let go. If rub your clit some, you might get there faster.” You watched as Stuart pumped, his free hand grabbing his balls tightly. Your thumb swiped at your clit, the hardened nub sensitive to your own touch. “Keep going. You can do it. I want see your juices flow out all over your fingers.”

His words finally got to you, as you came all over your fingers. Your vision went white as you let out the loudest moan you had ever done, Stuart’s name rolling off your tongue. Stuart’s breath hitched in response as his cock twitched in his hand, shooting his load all over his stomach.

You both laid back on your beds, panting softly. “That was probably the best orgasm I’ve had. Ever,” He told you, grabbing a tissue from his bedside table.

You chewed on your lip, feeling unsatisfied with this. “Hey Stuart?” You heard a soft ‘mmm’ from him as he cleaned himself up. “I know it’s late, but I think my computer is having some issues.”

You glanced at him, seeing his eyes darken at your words. He dropped the tissue into the trash can and leaned over to look at you better. “Do you want me to come over and fix it?”

You took a deep breath, whispering a barely audible, “Yes.”

He smirked, the lust in his eyes evident. “Text me your address and I will be out the door in five.”

He didn’t bother to wait for a response as the skype call ended. You grabbed your phone, falling face first onto the floor. “Fuck. Why am I so clumsy because of this guy?” You texted him the address and ran into the bathroom. You threw the bra you were wearing into the hamper and slipped on a robe. You wanted to be ready as soon as he arrived.

You heard the quick raps on the door and hurried to open it, Stuart standing on the other side. His hair was disheveled, his shirt on was on backwards, and he was barefoot, leading you to believe he rushed to get out the door.

As soon as he saw you, his lips were on yours in a messy kiss. He kicked the door closed behind him, fumbling to lock it as you dragged him towards your room. The kiss was heated, your tongues fighting already for dominance. Your teeth clashed, your noses brushing against each other.

You couldn’t lie. This was the best kiss you ever had. Your stomach was in knots, the spark tingling your lips every time your lips met his. Your lips seemed to fit each other just right, like a jigsaw puzzle.

You tugged at the bottom of his shirt repeatedly before he tugged it over his head, throwing it haphazardly onto a nearby lamp. You pushed him back onto the bed, and sent a wink his way. He propped himself up on his elbows to watch you as you undid the sash on the robe, dropping the entire thing to the floor. His stare caused you to blush and cover your body with your arms, feeling self-conscious about it.

“Oh baby. Don’t cover up. You’re absolutely breathtaking. Now come over here and kiss me,” he said in his sexy voice.

You shuffled over to him and straddled his waist. Your arms remained clasped around your breasts, hiding them from his view. He grabbed your hands and gently removed them from your body, running his thumbs over your soft skin. “I wasn’t lying. I may be a sarcastic asshole when you get to know me, but I am no liar. You shouldn’t be afraid to show off your body. You are beautiful.” He proceeded to lean up, pulling you down to meet his lips halfway.

You moaned into the kiss, gripping to shoulders to keep yourself upright. Grinding your hips into his own, he groaned into the kiss. His hands found your breasts, kneading them repeatedly.

He broke the kiss, his lips remaining close so you could feel his lips move as he talked. “Can I suck them, baby? They look delicious.” You just nodded, letting him flip you guys so he was on top. He kissed his way down your chest, flicking his tongue over one of your nipples. You let out a gasp as he blew on the perky bud in front of him and took it in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, letting you tangle your fingers in his hair.

“Stuart, how did you get so good at this?” You moaned out, barely getting the words out of your mouth, watching him switch between your breasts often. He started licking his way down your stomach as he responded.

“No idea. I’m not much for the dating front. I know I’m not a virgin because I had drunk sex with my coworker once. I don’t remember it though.”

“Oh…Well keep doing whatever you’re doing then. Because it’s working.” You giggled, feeling him smile against your stomach. He spread your legs, moving so he could kiss your thighs. Kissing each one a couple times, he moved to you core and licking it a couple of times. Your fingers twisted into the sheets. “Just like that, Stuart. Keep doing that.” He licked faster, his tongue occasioning finding its way into your core and licking your walls. When his tongue found your clit, and nibbled on it, you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming. Once the first scream erupted from your throat, Stuart’s hand covered your mouth.

“Shh, baby. As much as I love you screaming my name like that, we don’t want to wake your neighbors.” You nodded, biting your lip to suppress the noises you knew you would make. He continued working on your clit, running a finger through your folds and into your core. You had to cover your mouth to muffle the noises you were making, though it was getting hard to as he continued his magic. His finger pumped you a few times before he slipped a second finger in, scissoring your walls and curling his fingers into your g-spot.

You had to grab a pillow to cover your string of curses and he sucked and pumped your nethers. You were in heaven now, your stomach swirling with anticipation. Your walls clenched around his fingers and you pushed your face further into the pillow as you came. Stuart groaned and replaced his fingers with his tongue, lapping up the juices that leaked from your core. Your chest heaved at a great pace, trying to relax from your orgasm.

Stuart moved the pillow from your face and placed a sensual kiss to your lips. You could taste yourself on his lips and tongue, clawing at his arms to hold yourself together. He kissed over to you ear, whispering into it, “I want to be inside you now. Will you let me, princess?”

You nodded, helping him kick his sweats and boxers off, letting them rest on the foot of your bed. You felt him rub his cock through your folds before pushing on his chest, halting his movements. “Wait. Condom. We can’t forget the condom.” You hand searched blindly for the bedside table, knocking the alarm clock to the ground in the process. Stuart got the hint and opened the drawer, pulling a foil packet from the box inside. Tearing it open with his teeth, he pumped his shaft several times before he rolled the condom on.

Lining himself up at your entrance, he glanced at you for permission to continue. His eyes bore into your own, the answer he was waiting for evident in your lust-filled orbs. He eased in, hearing you wince as he stretched your walls. “I’m sorry babe. It’ll be worth it though. I’m going to please you so much, your eyes will roll back into your head. You’re going to have the finest orgasm you’ve ever had, unmatched by any before.”

He let you adjust before pulling out and slamming his dick back into you. A wave of pleasure washed over you, your hands finding their way around Stuart’s back. He continued to thrust into you, the tip of his cock already prodding your g-spot every time. Your nails raked down his back, leaving bright red marks in their wake. Your moans made his cock twitch inside of you, and each clench of your walls elicited a gasp from his lips.

“Fuck. You are so tight for me princess. Do you like this?” You nodded your head, feeling lightheaded from the massive amounts of pleasure he was causing you.

“Go faster. Harder. Please Stuart.” Your words were choppy, a gasp escaping between each word.

“As you wish, baby.” He complied with your wished, slamming his cock into you harder, at an ungodly speed. Your mewls met his ears, your back arched to his touch. One of his hands held your waist, the other grabbed your thigh, shifting it in a way that would allow him to reach deeper into your depths. He would roll and rotate his hips into yours, the sensational rush of pleasure filling your body with each movement.

His motions started to get staggered and sloppy, telling you he was near his peak. Your wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer to you. “You can cum, Stuart. You don’t need to hold back.”

He let out a groan, rubbing your clit as he neared his orgasm. A knot formed in your stomach, the rubbing drawing you closer to your end. Your walls clenched around his cock one final time, milking him as he released his load into the condom, filling it to the brim with semen. Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm hit you for the second time that night, Stuart’s name falling from your tongue once more.

Resting his sweaty forehead against yours, he kissed your lips sweetly before pulling out. The removed the condom and tied it off, dropping it into the trashcan you had by your bed. You let out a sigh and curled up against his side. Stuart pulled the blankets over you both and kissed your forehead.

“That was the best, Y/N. Way better than drunk sex I can’t remember.” You giggled, placing sweet kisses along his jaw. “We’ll get to do it again sometime, right?”

“You want to keep seeing me?” Your eyebrows furrowed at his questioned, unsure why he was still interested. “Why would you want to do that? I’m not smart like you. I’m clumsy. And I can’t even handle my computer sometimes.”

“Of course I want to keep seeing you.” He frowned at you, confused by what you were telling him. “I know it’s crazy, but I have really strong feelings for you already. I’ve only been talking to you for what? Nearly two weeks? But I want you to be my girlfriend. I don’t care if you’re clumsy or can’t handle a computer. It just means I can be your own personal tech support.”

You sniffled, a couple of tears escaping your eyes. Stuart got worried, seeing the tears, and sat up quickly. “I didn’t mean to make you cry! Fuck. I fucked up, didn’t I?”

You shook your head, your smile beaming at him. “No you didn’t fuck up. I just thought that was really sweet.” You leaned in and kissed him, your hands resting on his cheeks. “Of course I want to be your girlfriend. I want you to be my very own tech support.”

“Good,” he stated, smiling at you and running a hand through your hair. He paused, staring at you and blinking a few times. “You are still coming over for dinner tomorrow, right?”

You let out a laugh and nuzzled your face into his chest, cuddling his warm body closer to yours. “Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way, Stuart.”

He grinned, closing his eyes. “Thanks for calling the Google Helpline, Y/N.”

[paxohana]

Musings of a Pseudo-Writer

It's been a while since I did one of these, but last night and sleeping hours were too weird, as is today. Yesterday was May the Fourth and I forgot to wear my glitter, damn it! There was a call to honor Carrie Fisher with glitter since she liked to glitter bomb people at cons. I'll try to remember next year, so someone remind me. But today is Revenge of the Fifth! I wonder if this gives me an excuse to be evil. I'll go for any day I can do that 😈 I must have some good shit last night or something. I had a dream that my tattoo artist was doing my nails. Number one: I don't get my nails done. Number two: he's going to laugh his ass of when he sees my text about it. *sigh* I also had a dream (nightmare) about being in an economics class and couldn't figure out the equation. Why in the hell do I care about a GDP equation at this point? All I know is our economy is making a slow decent to hell since DumbTrump took over. I hope Satan kicks him out. Bet he can't stand that fucktwat either. Which brings me to a thought I had yesterday. To my non-American friends: Will you put me up for a while until I learn the language and find my own place? Things are getting ridiculously scary and stupid over here. I've never been so ashamed to be an American. I don't even claim this country. Is this offends you and you don't like it, sorry but I don't care. It's one thing I'm vehemently adamant about. Today is going to be a BtP/shove my face with chocolate day (my phone tried to autocorrect to chicken 😳). This chapter is coming along beautifully in my head, hopefully it goes to file this easily. Tomorrow will be MbA and Twitch stream day! Might be streaming from bed, but I'm streaming tomorrow! And MbA, oh MbA. I need ice just thinking about it. I finally plotted the flow completely yesterday afternoon. Music Dork said I had a shit-eating grin on my face when it did. Oh, Music Dork, if you only knew. So that's all! Happy Friday! ~Pax