beefjerkyoff

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Very good news for the world.

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Gimme all the Mouthwashing content you have

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i get into a horrific car accident while carrying a crock pot full of meatballs in the passenger seat. at the hospital, the surgeons cannot sort out which chunks of meat are me and which are not, so I end up with several meatballs sewn into my guts. despite this I make a full recovery, and they elect not to remove the meatballs because quote 'they seem comfy in there.' i go on the talk show circuit and become moderately famous as The Meatballs Woman. when i die i am buried under a gravestone with meatballs carved on it. in the year 2438, a grad student from what is now Cambodia who is studying the late pre-collapse American Empire writes her thesis on this, concluding that I probably never existed and was a conflation of several real stories and urban legends. years later, a pop-history book wildly misinterprets this and several other things, arguing for the existence of a historic American religious pantheon including figures like The Meatballs Woman, Florida Man, Emperor Norton, etc. this book sells bizarrely well and inspires a new neo-pagan movement, which in turn leads to a weird shipping community, resulting in a small but vibrant scene of ABO fics featuring me and MrBeast (who in this context has been interpreted as a god of excess and trickery)

this chilling scenario is only one of the multiple reasons I am going to attempt to not crash my car today

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Murder🤝Be Racist

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you guys gotta stop shipping 30-year-old men and calling it old man yaoi. 30 is really not old. thats just man yaoi

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Shrinkflation

So, I found out a fun fact this last weekend!

Every state has a Department of Weights and Measures. One of their jobs is to make sure that companies are actually selling you the quantities they claim they're selling. For example, this is the department which tests gas pumps and makes sure they're really pumping out a gallon of gas when they charge you for a gallon of gas.

So....

If you happen to, just as an example, notice that your 1lb (16 ounce) box of San Giorgio spaghetti actually only has 10oz of noodles, and you weigh your other boxes of spaghetti to discover they run from 10 to 14 ounces but never the full pound they're supposed to have, and that's why you never seem to have enough pasta for leftovers the next day, then you can report that to the Department of Weights and Measures.

They will want to know where you bought the item, and then will investigate whether the store or the manufacturer is routinely shorting customers. If they do, they will issue a fine to the offending party, you will be eligible for a refund, and under some circumstances lawsuits may follow.

Now, I don't know the outcome of the complaint I just initiated, but they did not want to know specific receipts or times of purchase. Which is good for me as I didn't keep any of those things, at the time I just said "Wow, fuck San Giorgio" and switched brands. But this is still enough to get an inspector out.

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Best RPF Ship - Round 1 Match 40

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Most of you were either not born or old enough to remember the 2006 Israeli war on Lebanon and the scale of the terror Israel inflicted. In 2006, Israel killed about 1,200 in Lebanon in 34 days which was the whole duration of the aggression. Yet, today alone, Israel killed close to 300 in Lebanon. This intensification is the direct result of the way Israel faced absolutely no consequences for its unprecedented violence in Gaza for a whole year.

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im pregnant in the snow shivering wearing rags balding with no money, can you solve my puzzle?

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new favorite YouTube comment just dropped

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sorry for not answering messages for three thousand years i have. Stew. in place of a brain. you know how it is

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ok gimmickverse let's all do this

I would be oho-h-

@maryland-officially @the-real-catholic-church @north-dakota-unofficial @non-tyrannical-usa @thee0ne-whos-trying and anyone else!